#feedism diary

[feedthedeer]

the deer is here and pudgier than ever before

[finnthehumanboi]

✨ the man who fed me got to see more ✨

[ed-recovery-affirmations]

Since feedism has lately become kinda controversial (people vehemently pro and vehemently anti ever since I made that post) I'm going to try to keep the conversation open in a positive, non-judgmental way. I do want to do my best to make this a safe space for all experiences to be heard. There are people who have had EXTREMELY predatory experiences being drawn into feedism. There are, as I've learned, also people who feel they've been able to establish a gentle, positive, and consent-based experience around the practice. I'm not taking either side, just reflecting on the initial reason I made that post and felt so anti-feedism there.

We know that diet culture, starvation, and the ana/mia constant of setting lower and lower goal weights does irreparable harm to the human body. Restricting as a teen, during a crucial developmental period, definitely damaged mine.

But so did bingeing. When I came out of anorexia, I cycled back and forth between that and binge eating disorder. And bingeing was at least as destructive and damaging to my GI system as starving. I'm not kidding. There was more than one time in college that I had to lie on my side on my dorm room floor because I'd eaten so much that I was in too much pain to get up, my stomach all round and hard like a basketball from being so stuffed. And I still felt the compulsion to try and eat more. I was miserable and I hated myself for hurting myself like that, but I couldn't stop. The only thing that I found to be supportive of my health was practicing intuitive eating - letting my own body dictate exactly what I needed, exactly how much, and when - no more, and no less. And it took a VERY long time for me to settle into that pattern and lessen instances of compulsive binge eating.

Just because this was my experience doesn't mean I'm saying no one's allowed to have a different one. But I will say, it definitely makes me feel somewhat concerned, as someone who is a strong proponent of intuitive eating, that a lot of the feeder content I have seen does hold a deliberate emphasis on consistent weight gain. Not specifically the eating part - the way that a feeder can encourage a feedee to keep gaining. The way recovery has looked for me is this: I let my hunger cues dictate my needs. My body can settle into whatever size it needs to be as I follow these hunger cues. I do not make a practice of ignoring my body's needs in order to deliberately change the size it naturally wants to be - whether that be smaller, or larger. That's what I have always been a proponent of, and I have always made a point to emphasize that intuitive eating absolutely applies to people who are naturally fat, that they have no obligation to starve their bodies in an attempt to stop being fat. "Just let your body be what it needs to be" has been the mantra that has best supported my relationship with food.

I think that's specifically what made me find feedism suspect - the emphasis on pushing continuous gain for kink purposes rather than any specific health need. (This is not me dunking on people who do get off on that relationship - just talking about my perspective as someone who absolutely HAD to learn how to put my own body behind the wheel and nobody else when it comes to what I eat, and how much.)

That being said, if anybody in this community wants to talk to me about specific ways they feel the experience has benefited them. And while it's okay to talk to me about kink (I'll make sure to tag appropriately) as kink is an important part of some peoples' lives, I am curious to hear if people feel they've experienced benefits outside of the kink sphere too, and what that looks like for them. Hoping to keep this an open, and respectful, conversation.

[bellyyearner]

Not a horny post

Holding my hands like a foot from my gut and acting like I'm jiggling my belly when in reality I'm gripping nothing is as hot as it's always been. Like just the thought that eventually I could be that size, my tummy is growling with desire just imagining it.

I love being fat, it's fucking great, and I remember this post on here(I forget who it was by) but it boiled down to "you need to be ok being fat on your own, outside validation won't always be there, a partner could leave you, you could leave, or they could unfortunately pass away". 100% agree, you need to be 100% ok and fulfilled in your own skin.

The only part of this idea that is uncomfy is that for those of us that wanna be massive it's such a huge commitment and you'd hope that mutual commitment between you and your partner would last forever. Like the only reason I lost weight (and still losing weight 375 -> 310) is because I wanna gain for my partner, I wanna have that experience last as long as possible. Their love being added to my hips is a lovely idea. But realistically 500ish lbs is a good limit for my height at 6'3" if I was married to them, if I was married for like a decade with that person then that's a different story and my limit would be *their* limit. Id maybe go to 400ish before a marriage proposal

But as for actively gaining outside of a committed relationship, it's a tricky question. I'd love nothing more than to be a massive fatty, smoking weed and indulging often. Id gladly stuff myself during the dating phase and indulge, but id still be heading to the gym often though. Because realistically I gotta focus on my EMS career and build a future that's potentially a solo future, cause for me I doubt I could have a long term relationship without feedism. I don't need to be actively gaining but I'd need to have the love for fat be apparent. It's an integral part of who I am and has been for as long as I can remember. From being a kid adding playdough to my legos to make them fat, rewatching cartoon episodes centered around weight gain over and over, finding deviantart wayyy too early and reading stories for hours, my eyes lingering on fat people too long, all the way to finally getting on Tumblr a few years ago. I don't know how or why it started but for as far back as my memory goes, fat has been a centerpiece of it.

I'm not 100% sure where I expected this post to go, it's more of a diary entry than anything ig, but I'd find it hard to believe I'm alone in these sentiments. The world we live in isn't built for fat people, let alone massively fat people. From societal expectations to architecture it just seems like fat people were not considered.

Anyways I'ma shut up cause I'm rambling. TLDR I love being fat and hope with all of my being that I can find a life partner that is just as obsessed with fat as I have always been

[feedthedeer]

2018 to 2024. i’m living proof that the fatter you are, the hotter you get.

[finnthehumanboi]

How much do you like this angle?

[feedthedeer]

i think all my fat is going straight to my butt…

[finnthehumanboi]

😳 I should have tried on my pants before traveling to visit family. There's no way this pair could survive dinner.

[feedthedeer]

[feedthedeer]

i don’t know if this post will be allowed to stay up but… i went into the forest and ate too many berries 🌲🫐🦌

[feedthedeer]

sneak peek at my weight gain while i’ve been gone…

💌🦌 the deer will return!

[feedthedeer]

fuck you

*fattifies and transifies your Princess Bubblegum*

[feedthedeer]

trans people belong here !!! i’m fat, trans and proud 🏳️‍⚧️🪷🌱✨

[feedthedeer]

more princess chubblegum

[feedthedeer]

[feedthedeer]

who wants a deer who can’t stop eating…