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rfxiii · 1 year ago

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Relationship Headcanons for Various GTA V Characters:

(Feat. Michael De Santa, Trevor Philips, Franklin Clinton, Lamar Davis, Brad Snider, Wade Hebert, Steve Haines, Dave Norton, Jimmy De Santa, Tracey De Santa, Chef, Ron Jakowski, Lester Crest, and Amanda De Santa)

*TW: Drug Mention & Smut

[3744 words]

Michael De Santa:

A lot of quiet time. He likes sitting outside under the sun, watching old movies, and sitting out by the dock with his boat. He doesn’t like a ton of excitement (he’s had enough in his life)

Will take you out for cinema dates, fancy restaurants where you had to get reservations a month in advance, or to quieter bars where you can drink and he can show you how to play pool while talking about his favorite films.

He can be closed off; lack of communication and lack of honesty will be the main root of most of your arguments. He doesn’t apologize for nearly any fight you have either.

Sex with Michael is most often deep, slower, and very rough. He loves being in control- dominating and bossing you around before he gives you praise.

He’s not a big fan of cuddling or too much touching while you’re laying in bed together. But he will hold you from behind for a bit before rolling away with his back to you.

Trevor Philips:

He’s manic, disgusting, psychotic, and totally unhinged. But he’s hot, he can be sweet, and he’s one of the loyalist men you’ll ever meet if you get him to fall for you.

He wants to bring you everywhere- to the meth lab, to the bars with him, to kill rival meth dealers and bikers. He wants the two of you glued at the hip. He has massive separation anxiety and abandonment issues, so having you in his line of sight at most times gives him a lot of relief.

You have to have a strong set of nerves for him, and remind yourself every day why you love him. He’s a mess. You’re going to find him strung out, sobbing, in his underwear, or covered in gore, tracking blood and brain matter across the floor. Everyday it’s something new with him and he’s always going to keep you on your toes.

You’re having sex, or he’s begging for sex at least ten times a day. He’ll pull over his truck to fuck you on the roadside, he’s fucking you on a table in the lab, he’s fucking you in Michael’s dining room if he thinks he can get away with it.

He is a sweetheart too though. He’ll get dressed up in a tacky, cheap suit to take you out to a local diner, he’ll buy all your drinks at the dingy bars he takes you to, and he’s always coming home with odd, but thoughtful in his own way, gifts to give you. He loves you and even if he shows affection in strange ways, he wants to make sure you know it.

Franklin Clinton:

He’s such a sweetheart. He’s taking you out to dinner, to the movies, to watch football/basketball games (and he’s splurging for the really good seats), he’ll even take you out shopping at the good shops out on Rockford once he starts making a lot of money with Michael. He’s going to spoil you.

He doesn’t want to scare you off, so he keeps most of the details of what he does private. He’ll be upfront with you and let you know he is a professional thief- but past that, he’s going to spare you the gory details of what he does on his scores.

He’s going to casually bring you up in conversation every time he and Lamar talk. He’s proud of you, and he’s used to Lamar heckling him most of their lives about being single, so now he’s fully prepared to rub it in his face. You’re perfect for him, and he wants everyone to know it.

He’s slow and sensual in bed. He’s going to make you feel like royalty. He’s going above and beyond to spoil you in every area of your relationship, and this is no different. You’re going to feel like you’re in a scene from a romance movie.

He can be a bit in his head. He gets tunnel vision when things go bad, and while he is very intelligent and level headed, he can have a hard time getting out of his own head and seeing everyone else’s point of view.

Lamar Davis:

He’s goofy, he’s scatterbrained, he has very little common sense, and he’s probably the funniest guy you’ll ever meet. He’s going to make you worry about him every day you or Franklin aren’t there to supervise him. But he’s so damn silly and sweet that it almost makes you forgive his reckless behavior.

You and Franklin are going to become best friends. Lamar gets huffy and complains about you and Frank ganging up on him, but really, Franklin is the only other person who understands what you have to go through with worrying about his dumbass best friend.

He’s constantly going to brag about his various illegal endeavors. Usually it’s small-time drug deals or robbing houses/liquor stores/gas stations. But other times, he’ll get in over his head in a big job, need rescuing, and then brag about how well he handled it despite you knowing the truth. He’s the number one cause of your stress.

Lamar is fast, rough, and all over the place in bed. He’s constantly changing positions, his pace so fast the bed creaks like it’s going to break, and his mouth running the whole time about how good you feel, how much he can tell you like it when he fucks you, and, honestly, giving himself compliments as he does so.

In public he’s going to be the tough guy who’ll just keep an arm at your waist to prove you’re his. But in private he’s laying on the couch with his head in your lap, he’s being the little spoon in bed, and he’s all but sitting in your lap or clinging to your waist wherever you’re within the house.

Brad Snider:

You’re his common sense that keeps him out of fights or out of prison. He can handle himself just fine, but if you’re not into him getting into a full on brawl just because some guy bumped into you at the bar and didn’t apologize, you’re going to have to reign him in.

He’s got a smart mouth, no verbal filter, and he simply oozes sarcasm. He’d do well not to be mean to you- in fact, he’s almost overwhelmingly sweet when you’re in a committed relationship. But, when you fight, you’d better have thick skin because the things that slip out of his mouth when he’s angry are downright cruel. He will come crawling back, apologizing profusely, with flowers or expensive (stolen, most likely) jewelry to make up for it after though.

He’s extremely touchy and cuddly. Would rather have you sitting on his lap than in a chair, he’ll carry you down the road just because he can, he’s clinging onto you with an iron grip while he sleeps. You’re his, and he’s not ever going to let you get too far.

Picks you up and presses you against the wall, with your legs around his waist or in bed/on the couch with you straddling his lap while you ride him. He likes seeing your face and being able to touch all over you while he fucks you.

Not above getting your name tattooed somewhere, or buying you both matching jewelry. He’s super possessive and wants everyone to know you belong to him and vice versa.

Wade Hebert:

Baby! Treat him right, please, he deserves it. He’s honestly so sweet. The biggest source of any arguments or disagreements is definitely going to be Trevor and the danger he gets Wade into. Wade is loyal to Trevor, and you’ll have to respect that, despite how nervous it may make you.

Ice cream dates, going for walks, listening to music, and sitting together making playlists for each other out of your favorite music. Being with him is incredibly chill (when Trevor isn’t around).

Could spend hours talking about you to Chef and Ron. He used to be that way with Trevor, but he got fed up and eventually smacked Wade for it. Regardless, he’s so proud to be with you! Not many people he knows treat him with a lot of respect. So to get to come home to you, where you hold him, and love him, and treat him like you care is like a dream to him.

He’s clumsy and unsure in bed. He knows what he’s doing, but he still gets so scared of messing up or doing something you’re not into, that he approaches the whole ordeal cautiously and almost like he’s nervous about it. But once you break him out of his shell, and get him comfortable, everything he does is for you.

He would want matching tattoos, matching piercings, or even to give you matching juggalo face paint to go out in. He’d take one of the decorative rings from his dreads and make it into some kind of necklace for you too.

Steve Haines:

He’s a lot. He’s full of himself, he has a short temper, and he’s a tv star that does get considerable attention when you go out. He eats up any attention he gets, and he wants to flaunt you every place he goes. You’re practically a pseudo celebrity when you’re out with him. Though, he does want to keep you far, far away from his FIB work.

He’s an absolute monster at work. But with you, you’d never know. He’s the sweetest man on the planet when he comes home to you. He’ll do anything in his power to make you happy, he goes out of his way not to argue with you, and he waits on your every request when you’re at home.

He’s a huge baby. Wants to be held, wants to curl up in your lap when he’s had a bad day, he’ll even want to take a bath together. He loves when you massage his shoulders, scratch his back, pet his hair, and tell him how much you love and need him. He’s very self assured, but he thinks you’re so good he’s always afraid you’ll leave him.

Sweet, gentle sex where he takes care of your every need and treats you like absolute royalty with every touch. Or, on other days, he’s going to totally dominate you- leaving you in tears begging for release before he finally gives it to you with rough, punishing thrusts and growled, backhanded praise. And finally, days where he needs you to take control and totally blow his back out- pin him down, tie him up, slide on the strap if you need it, and absolutely dick him down until he cries in relief.

He’s kind of a princess. He doesn’t like driving unless he has to, he’ll need your help assembling furniture because he can’t figure it out, he cannot cook (his mom cooked for him before he met you), he can’t change a tire, and he’s awful at housework. But he does try his absolute best. Sometimes it’s worth showing him how to do things the correct way, and other times it’s easier just to do it yourself and let him sit there and be cute.

Dave Norton:

Coffee dates, walks in the park together, going to little, quiet bistros or bars. He enjoys a slow pace and quiet dates. He is older, so a long, or rowdy date night just isn’t for him.

Arguments are actually incredibly rare. Not just because he doesn’t have the energy for them but because he’d rather sit down for calm communication and resolution that suits you both instead of engaging in a screaming match. He’s not just older, but he’s fairly well adjusted and mature as well- unlike some people (Mikey and T 👀), so he prefers to work things out and make decisions together peacefully.

The only real point of contention would be lack of communication about his emotional state. He’ll get frustrated or exhausted from work (chasing Steve around or making sure Michael stays out of trouble is a lot of work). But, since he tries to completely separate you from his work, he’ll come home, you’ll clearly be able to see that he’s upset, but he’ll shut down and stay tight lipped in an effort to keep you distant from the FIB.

Little to no sex drive. He’s older, he’s exhausted, and he’s always got something on his mind that's distracting him. But when he is in the mood, he’s very practical and to the point. Not a ton of stamina, but he knows he doesn’t give you this kind of intimacy frequently, so he really does focus a lot on your pleasure.

Has a dream of retiring, away from Los Santos, on some farmland or a cabin type home where the two of you can enjoy the calm and quiet instead of the hectic, busy life in San Andreas.

Jimmy De Santa:

The first date you go on, after he’s probably spent weeks practically begging you to give him a chance, is going to be obnoxious. He’s taken Michael’s credit card, he’s gotten you reservations to a stupidly nice restaurant, he’s hired a driver for an even nicer car. Then he takes you to some upscale club where you can’t even hear each other over the music. It’s clear you both aren’t enjoying it, but he’s too committed to the rich boy act he’s trying to impress you with to admit it.

Second date and any future dates are much cooler. You’ve finally got him convinced that you like him for more than just his dads money, so now you can actually have fun. You’ll go to arcades, music festivals, smaller clubs, or sit at home and yell at each other over video games. Sometimes you may even be able to convince him to go to the beach or at least out to the park.

He’s awkward, but he’s trying so hard to be sweet. He’s very open about his feelings, so most stuff will surprisingly be talked over in a mostly mature way. The main point of argument is his refusal to grow up and branch out from the safety of his room. You understand his dislike of moving out or getting a job, but you also know he can’t just mooch off Michael’s money indefinitely.

Sex? He never thought he’d get to have it with a real person. You’ll have to show him what to do and what you like the first few times. He’s nervous, he’ll talk a lot, and he’ll cover up his anxiety with stupid one liners and a cocky swagger he has no business having. He’ll chill out eventually though once he gets it down and learns what you’re into.

He’s grown up with money for more time than he didn’t. But, that being said, even if you live in a studio apartment he’d love being at your house. He more or less moves in without actually moving it. It may be far less grand than he’s used to, but his parents aren’t there fighting, Tracey isn’t yelling at him, and best of all, you’re there to cuddle with him in bed or curl up next to him while he plays video games.

Tracey De Santa:

Going out shopping for hours, going to crazy house parties, hitting up multiple clubs in one night, or finding ways to slip into C-list celebrity gatherings are dates for Tracey. She’s fighting so hard to make a name for herself in Los Santos, and she’s definitely trying her best to live the lifestyle.

Invites you over for sleepovers all the time. You’ll spend most of the day out at the pool or laying out in the sun (she yells at Michael when he tries to come outside and sit), then she’ll take control of the tv and banish her father to his room or outside instead so you two can watch Fame or Shame or the various other, trashy, reality shows she likes, then she’s going to spend all night in bed wrapped around you with her cold feet pressed to your bare legs.

She’s shockingly book smart and will practically beg you to apply to the same colleges as her so you won’t have to be too far apart. If college isn’t for you, she’ll understand. But prepare to be faced with an, at least, hour long rant about how you’d better not find someone else while she’s gone.

She’s a pillow princess. You’re doing all the work. But like, it’s worth it. She will reciprocate enough for it to be good for you too but you are one hundred percent going to have to work for it first.

Before she leaves for college she’s absolutely stealing Michael’s credit card one last time so the two of you can stay at some nice resort for a weekend and get away from her family and Los Santos for a bit to just enjoy each other's company before she’s gone.

Chef:

He’s a sweet guy- chill, smart, down for basically anything. You can take this man anywhere and he’s happy so long as you’re together.

Most of your dates will be either at the local bar or at the meth lab. Trevor keeps him crazy busy, and he doesn’t just get a ton of free time to himself. So, more often than not, you’re going to have to meet him at work and chill there with him. It’s gross, it stinks, but when he’s not super busy you guys go sit on the roof and share a few beers together.

Asks you to stay at his place a lot. Again, he’s very busy with stuff for Trevor, so he’s given you a key so you can go in and wait for him during the day until he comes home late at night and crawls into bed beside you.

Sex with Chef is always lighthearted and fun. He’s a sweet, funny guy and he likes to keep things light. And a little risky, as he’ll fuck you on the tables in the lab when Trevor is downstairs doing god knows what.

Being with him is fun, easy, and comfortable. The only thing that really gets between you is his unorthodox lifestyle, and, of course, Trevor.

Ron Jakowski:

Matching couples tinfoil hats! He’s balls to the walls paranoid as fuck. He’ll spend hours telling you about aliens, the Illuminati, clones, government surveillance drones, and listening devices installed in televisions and radios. You cannot convince him it’s not true (Trevor kinda did a number on him in this area). So all you can do is sit there and nod along while trying not to let your expression slip.

The best dates are dates out in the woods or off by the beach. No electronics and plenty of clear sky’s to spot any drones watching you. Or, even better, you can stay in his trailer with the walls and windows lined with aluminum foil to keep you safe from the radio waves. He’s honestly so serious about this. It practically consumes his every thought.

He’s almost always anxious, but if you try really hard you can talk him down enough to just talk about his day, or things he enjoys. And once he’s calm, you can get him to sit quietly enough while you tell him what you did today and tell him about things you think he'll enjoy if he’d just branch off from Trevor and Sandy Shores for a bit.

Lester Crest:

He’s so fucking sarcastic, oh my god. You have to have a good sense of humor and thick skin to stick with him, or else his dry humor, sarcastic remarks, and flat responses will really end up hurting your feelings at times.

He stays inside as much as he can. He is sick- but he’ll try his best not to let his disability totally ruin any chance of both of you having a good date. You can hang out at his place, play video games together, binge sci-fi or fantasy movies he’s into, and spend time with him telling you old stories about the trouble he used to get up to with the guys back in the day.

His house is a total wreck. But do not try to clean for him. There’s a method to his madness and if you move even one thing it could throw off the whole system. He does appreciate the offer, but please don’t make an attempt without consulting him first. If the mess bothers you that bad, he won’t mind if you clean up old water bottles or energy drink cans, make the bed, or dust though. He’ll think the attempt was sweet.

On his better days, physically, he likes to hang out with Franklin (and maybe Mikey and T) to get drunk after a successful score. And he’d always want you there- regardless of if you lived the same lifestyle as him and the others or not.

Amanda De Santa:

Couples yoga, couples Pilates, couples massages, couples everything. Everything she enjoys, she wants to bring you along to enjoy as well.

She’s super competitive though. She loves you, but she’s not afraid to smoke you in tennis either. It’s fun to have healthy competition between you, and when you’re practicing she’s going to lovingly talk shit to you about how she’s going to win.

The beach is one of her favorite places- the sun, the calmness of the waves, and getting to spend time with you, chilling under the sun while you share drinks and enjoy each other's company.

That yoga is good for a lot of things, but most especially her flexibility. She’s going to show you things you never knew could be done. She always has new positions or things for the two of you to try. So things definitely never get boring.

She is a little judgy. If you live a less than healthy or active lifestyle, she’s going to lecture you on the benefits of getting out, eating clean, and moving more. It may come off as pretentious, but it really does come from a place of love.

#gta v #gta 5 #grand theft auto v #grand theft auto 5 #gta x reader #x reader #gta headcanons

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ryanmarshallryan · 2 years ago

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Like a Set of Nesting Dolls - Another Vore Story

Jordan had swallowed me on a number of occasions.We both had so much fun every time he did that he hadn’t digested me yet, so that he could swallow me again and again. We lived far apart, so it was always an exciting occasion to get together through the years. This particular visit was exciting for more than one reason. For one, Jordan was bringing one of his friends, Nathan, who wanted to try a nesting doll vore situation. The plan was for Jordan to feed Nathan to me, and then Jordan would swallow me whole. It was going to be a feat for sure, but we were excited to try it out. Furthermore, I had been dating a cute guy named Drew for a few months and he wanted to learn more about my interest in vore, and what better way to learn than witnessing it. Jordan’s two boyfriends, Michael and Brad, were also coming over to round out the party, and I’m sure to cuddle Jordan from the outside while Nathan and I were snuggled up in his belly.

“Nice to meet you,” Jordan said to Drew before turning to me, “And as always, nice to eat you,” he continued, giving my belly a little shake. I gave a little laugh and pulled Jordan in for a hug. Jordan introduced me to his boyfriends and Nathan, and I introduced them all to Drew.

The 6 of us started the evening by going out for sushi together to break the ice. I caught up with Jordan for a bit on all the new things in his life, chatted with Brad about how he met Michael and Jordan, and got to know Nathan a bit more. I turned to Drew, who was wrapping up a conversation with Jordan, and asked how he was doing. He seemed a bit nervous, but excited to meet everyone.

“Hey, Drew, if this whole vore thing is overwhelming for you, we can all just have a fun, platonic cuddle party or something,” I said to him.

“No, I’m having a great time. It’s obviously something you want to explore, so I want to support you in your interests,” he replied. I assured him if his mind changed, he was fine to let me know.

After we were stuffed with various sushi rolls, we headed back to Jordan’s home to start the night. We played some board games, made ice cream sundaes, and had a giant cuddle puddle on the couch.

We began sharing stories of chaotic gay times we had all had. Jordan, Nathan and I talked about funny and sweet vore moments we had had. Like that time Jordan accidentally swallowed someone who jumped off a diving board into his mouth unexpectedly; or that time Nathan dressed up in a hot-dog costume at a Halloween party and had two preds argue over eating him, until one pred swallowed the other; or when my ex-boyfriend who didn’t understand vore tried to flirt with me with quirky phrases like “Are you ice cream? Cause you’re going straight to my hips… Get it? ‘Cause like if I ate you you’d be my fat,” without realizing that I was very much aware of that reality. Though Drew and Jordan’s boyfriends weren’t particularly into vore they shared stories of their weirdest dates and such.

After a lot of laughing and cuddling, Nathan changed the subject, “Do we have anymore whipped cream?”

“I think so, why?”

“I think it’s time for second-dessert… for some of us,” he said with a sly smile. He got up and got a can of whipped cream from the fridge and started spraying the cream all over his chest. “Someone wanna help me with this?”

Drew looked around and got up and helped spray whipped cream on Nathan’s back and body. Drew grabbed some of the melting ice cream and helped lather some onto Nathan’s chest. Jordan got up and got a little taste. He turned back to me.

“Are you ready to be stuffed?” Jordan said to me with a wicked smile.

“I don’t know, I haven’t swallowed someone whole before,” I said nervously, watching Nathan put on his funny attire of whipped cream and melting ice cream.

Nathan turned and walked over to me, straddling my legs, “I’ve heard ice cream is your favorite food,”

I was breathing faster now, “Sure is,”

“How much do you think you could eat in one sitting?” he asked, rubbing my belly, which was starting to growl and groan.

“I think my record is 4, maybe 5 pints?” I said shakily.

“Nervous?” Nathan asked. I gave a smile and a nod. Nathan looked down at my groin for a moment, “But obviously quite excited.”

Jordan sat next to me and put his arm around my shoulder and rubbed my side. He whispered in my ear, “Just imagine being fuller than you’ve ever been in your life. Ready?”

I took a deep breath. “All right, I’m ready. How are we gonna do this?”

Michael and Brad lifted Nathan up on both sides as Drew watched from the corner of the room. Nathan stuck his feet forward as Jordan whispered to me to open wide. They all pushed Nathan forward a bit and I got the first taste of Nathan’s sugary legs, coated in cool cream. Once that first taste hit, my body helped take over. I swallowed hard and felt my throat open. Jordan’s boyfriends continued to guide Nathan down my throat. I had to gently push Nathan’s hard-on down to help him slide easier down my throat. I felt my stomach begin to balloon out so I relaxed my abs to let my abdomen expand easier. I lifted my hands up and helped guide Nathan’s hands and arms into my mouth. I tilted my head back and helped lift Nathan’s torso up into the air to help gravity pull him down easier. Nathan’s eyes rolled back into his head for a moment in sensual elation, then he looked down into my eyes and gave a faint smile and shudder. Jordan’s boyfriends stepped back, as Nathan gave out one more moan, and his head slipped past my lips. I continued swallowing hard and felt him begin to curl up in my belly.

I didn’t even notice that Jordan was rubbing my stomach, helping Nathan to settle in on the inside. I gasped and caught my breath. Jordan reminded me to swallow some air for Nathan, too, and I did so. I looked over at Drew, whose eyes were wide with awe. “How are you doing?” I called out to him.

“How am I? How are you?! You just ate a whole person!” He exclaimed.

“I did, didn’t I,” I considered. I raised my voice to my stomach, “Hey Nathan, how are you?”

I heard muffled yells of enjoyment and felt him squirming rigorously about inside me. Drew came over and put his ear to my belly. Nathan pushed against my stomach and Drew felt the strange sensation. Jordan continued rubbing my belly for a bit, while Drew leaned in to kiss me a bit.

“Now that you’re nice and stuffed, how do you feel about becoming… the stuffing?” Jordan whispered.

“I mean I’m always ready to get in your gut, but do you really think you can fit me, and Nathan down your throat?” I teased.

“Of course! I could eat Drew too and not even notice!” Jordan responded.

“You could?” Drew interjected.

“Wanna find out?” Jordan asked Drew.

“Oh, Drew is just here to observe,” I started, but looking at Drew I held my tongue, “unless he’s changed his mind…”

Drew looked from my belly to Jordan’s. “You could swallow me whole?”

“Any way you’d like.”

Drew smiled, “I have an idea.”

Next thing I knew I was on my feet, and Drew was in the air being held up by Jordan’s boyfriends. Jordan stood at Drew’s feet and gave them a taste. Jordan held back and asked how Drew was.

“I’m excited but nervous,” he said.

“If you need to tap out just say the words,” I said to Drew, leaning in and giving him a kiss. Drew looked back at my lips, inviting me to kiss him again. I couldn’t tell if I had butterflies in my stomach or if it were just Nathan squirming about.

Jordan started slowly swallowing Drew’s legs, while I made out with Drew’s lips on the other end. We continued in this fashion until Jordan had swallowed up to Drew’s ribcage. I pulled back for a moment to check on Drew. Drew reached his arms over and pulled me back in for more making out. My hands held Drew’s sides, and I clasped my arms to his sides and slid them into Jordan’s mouth. We were getting swallowed altogether, all at once.

Michael and Brad let go of Drew, and started embracing Jordan and his ever expanding stomach. I held tight to Drew, kissing him deeply. I opened my eyes and saw that his head and my head were about to be engulfed in Jordan’s mouth. I breathed in through my nose sharply, and pushed forward.

Everything went dark, yet my sensations were on fire. My torso was being tightly squeezed all around by Jordan’s throat muscles, my lips and tongue were being stimulated as Drew and I explored each other’s faces, my stomach churning like crazy with Nathan squirming inside, and my legs lifted off the ground as I was pulled into Jordan’s throat. Within moments I was crashing into Jordan’s stomach on top of Drew.

I felt a large jostling as Jordan crashed back onto the couch with Michael and Brad. Drew rubbed my belly as we continued making out with each other, being squeezed from every which way. I felt Nathan rubbing my belly from the inside, so I pushed back against him a bit. I tried to rub Jordan’s belly from the inside too, as well as Drew’s body but it was difficult to know which way was which and who I was touching. Jordan’s belly kneaded my body tighter than ever before, probably because it wasn't used to stretching this much. Jordan’s belly squeezed so tightly I thought I might vomit, so I pulled back from Drew for a moment to catch my breath. I couldn’t really pull back, since my head just pushed against Jordan’s stomach walls, but sure enough I felt Nathan begin to travel back out of my esophagus and from my stomach into Jordan’s much larger stomach.

“Wait, whose stomach am I in now?” Nathan said, gasping.

“Is that Nathan?” Drew breathed out. I felt around and couldn’t tell who was who, as both were entangled with me and all of us were slipping and sliding, covered in various intermingled stomach juices.

“How’s everyone doing in there?” came the booming voice of Jordan from all around us.

The three of us exclaimed a chorus of various positive but cramped responses. It took us a while, but we found a relatively comfortable position of three-way spooning of sorts inside Jordan’s belly and we rubbed each other and Jordan.

After a while, the stomach acids began tingling more and more, almost too painfully hot.

“Unless you’d all like to become belly fat, which of course I would be more than okay with, it’s probably about time to let you out,” Jordan said.

“So how are y’all feeling? Are we getting digested tonight? Or wait to digest another day?” I call out to Drew and Nathan.

“I have work Monday, so I should probably, you know…” Drew began.

“... Become belly fat and never have to think about work again? I was thinking the same thing too!” Nathan said, laughing. We all laughed, Drew perhaps a bit more nervously than Nathan and I.

A few minutes later, after a strange slip and slide sort of adventure out of Jordan’s belly and throat, the three of us were taking a quick shower together to rinse off. We cleaned up and returned to continue cuddling on the couch, all 6 of us.

“I forgot you guys were here!” Drew said to Michael and Brad, “I guess I was focused on the people in front of me and, well, the stomach I was in.”

“It’s a pretty great stomach to be distracted by,” I say, rubbing Jordan’s belly.

“So what’s up for your next vore adventure,” Brad asked.

“I kinda want to try that hot dog suit one like Nathan,” I mentioned.

“We could make that happen…” Jordan mumbled as we continued dreaming about all the fun ways to end up in someone’s gut. Vore is a fun time.

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mirrorthoughts · 1 year ago

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Rules: shuffle your ‘on repeat’ playlist and post the first ten tracks, then tag ten people.

Tagged by @lucky-bishop 💕💕 Thanks!

I'm gonna cheat a bit because my go to repeat playlist is just lots of I LoFi and my good mood playlist only has 12 tracks, so you get the whole thing 😂

Rumors by Jake Miller

Stitches by Shawn Mendes

Lean On by Major Lazer feat MØ & DJ Snake

Walk Through Life by Pinkzebra feat. Benji Jackson

Change Your Life by Plastic3

I'm a Sucker for You by DJ Saamzi

Immortals (From "Big Hero 6") by Fall Out Boy

Gravity Falls Theme Song by Brad Joseph Breeck & The Cog is Dead

Gravity Falls (Opening Theme) by Yendorami (yes, that's another version of the same song 😂)

Otherside by Red Hot Chilli Peppers

Angel by Theory of a Deadman

Up N Away by Emmi

Low/No pressure tagging for @aurevell, @vmures, @perkynurples, @raett97, @tkwritesdumbassassins, @thotpuppy, @rebakitt3n, @msridcully,@midmorning-bomb, @meggie-stardust, and whoever else wants to do this :3

#seikaze #tag games

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tiltingheartand · 6 months ago

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music tag game~

tagged by @bagheerita, and thank you <3

the rules say "shuffle your on repeat list and share the first 10 songs"; i ... don't so much have an on repeat list, because i mostly flip between two stations on pandora and, very occasionally, the playlist i uploaded to my phone six literal years ago and still haven't changed. so i'm going to do one for each, because i ... feel like it, i guess. (note: skipping artist repeats.)

one: this is listed in pandora as "the crüxshadows radio"; it's basically just darkwave.

the crüxshadows - starfall

wolfsheim - find you're gone (single edit)

seabound - poisonous friend (remix)

placebo - second sight

blaqk audio - muscle and matter

system syn - an excuse never received

white lies - from the stars

ego likeness - severine

depeche mode - policy of truth

iris - it generates

two: nineties country. (this is the music i grew up on, okay.)

gary allan - right where i need to be

garth brooks - papa loved mama (live)

reba mcentire - fancy

toby keith - who's that man

clint black - like the rain

diamond rio - meet in the middle

sawyer brown - some girls do

wynonna judd - i saw the light

hal ketchum - small town saturday night

joe diffie - john deere green

three: this is a playlist of random shit i've had on my phone since 2018.

abney park - the wrong side

fall out boy - saturday

iris - annie, would i lie to you

the cure - lovesong

brad paisley feat. alison krauss - whiskey lullaby

the hush sound - the boys are too refined

ego likeness - save your serpent ...---...

pet shop boys - west end girls

goo goo dolls - bullet proof

cobra starship - wet hot american summer

tags (as usual, no pressure, although i do love seeing the music other people listen to): @wilddragonflying @filthyratdad @ratsandrunes @kennexara

@wakeupnew @chobani-flip @eidetictelekinetic @perfectlysunny02 @between-two-fandoms

@landwriter @bagheerita @dadvans @half-bakedboy

#tag game

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prompts-woooo · 9 months ago

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Lyric Prompts 6

Feat. Songs that I’m pretty sure altered my brain chemistry in some way (Part 1)

“I don’t think I can tell if I am dreaming”

“I do not feel like myself, I think I might be someone else”

“Did I always have the potential I’m revealing?”

“Have I become something new?”

“(Or) Am I turning into you?”

“Endure the pain, preventing me from going insane”

“If you close your eyes, it’s not there”

“Trust in Schrödinger’s cat”

“Senses call for acts of wonder”

“Someone rose to fuel that hunger”

“This man has gone insane”

“You had to gut out the truth”

“I’m listening to everything”

“Please tell me everything

“I’lll put my hand upon your chest so you forget your engravings”

“It’s such a wonder don’t blow like a halogen bulb”

“Don’t leave me to crumble at your feet”

“You used to be so sweet”

“Obfuscated by doom”

“And we may think our sacrifice is just, but pride comes just before the fall”

“I am the blighted being cursed with sight”

“This passion is a plagiarism”

“I’ve gotta stop with that shit, ‘cause I’m perfect”

“Space is fucking cool, and so are you”

“I’m still hot like Halley’s Comet”

“Better to be hated than loved for what you’re not”

“Can you teach me how to feel real?”

“Nobody told me it would be lonely”

“I don’t care because I know you love me”

“Unlike all the crows lurking above me”

“Under the circumstances, I’ve been shockingly nice”

“I used to want you dead, but now I only want you gone”

“Now I only want you gone”

“We’ll set something ablaze, a trail for the devil to erase”

“I love you, my responsibility has found a place”

“And as your gasping for the last of air you’ll tra-la-la-la-la”

“A wise woman said I’m alive, nobody’s ever told her she’s wrong”

“I’m as alive as her beard is long”

“Twirling moon dust abound, lung destruction is starting”

“Now that you’ve heard it all, there is the door”

Songs used in order under the cut!

1-5 Animal (The living tombstone)

6-11 I’M SANE (Axie)

12-15 Engravings (Ethan Bortnick)

16-18 Feelin’ So Matryoshka (The Scary Jokes)

19-21 Leviathan, the girl (Phemiec)

22 Girl Anachronism (The Dresden Dolls)

23-25 H.S (Tom Cardy)

26-27 I Am Not A Robot (MARINA)

28 Lonely (Brad Sucks)

29-30 Crows (The Gothic Archies)

31-33 Want You Gone (Aperture Science Psychoacoustic Labrotories)

34-35 Piazza, New York Catcher (Belle & Sebastian)

36-40 Waltz in E-Major, Op. 15 “Moon Waltz” (Cojum Dip)

#lyric prompts #writing prompts #art prompts #drawing prompts

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cyarskaren52 · 10 months ago

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2023 GRAMMY Awards: Complete Winners List

Music's biggest night saw lots of big wins!

Music's biggest night saw lots of big wins! The 2023 GRAMMY Awards rewarded some of the most popular artists of the last year with a golden gramophone for their contributions to radio, streaming, soundtracks, TikToks and more!

Beyoncé led the pack in nominations this year with nine, followed by Kendrick Lamar with eight and Adele and Brandi Carlile with seven apiece.

The selection process for the GRAMMY Awards was altered last May, following very public criticisms from The Weeknd. The show no longer uses anonymous review committees to determine its nominees, however, this year also saw prominent artists like Drake and Silk Sonic declining to submit their latest projects for consideration.

See the complete list of this year's winners below:

Record of the Year

"Don't Shut Me Down" — ABBA "Easy On Me" — Adele "BREAK MY SOUL" — Beyoncé "Good Morning Gorgeous" — Mary J. Blige "You And Me On The Rock" — Brandi Carlile feat. Lucius "Woman" — Doja Cat "Bad Habit" — Steve Lacy "The Heart Part 5" — Kendrick Lamar "About Damn Time" — Lizzo **WINNER** "As It Was" — Harry Styles

Song of the Year

"abcdefu" — GAYLE "About Damn Time" — Lizzo "All Too Well" (10 Minute Version) (The Short Film) — Taylor Swift "As It Was" — Harry Styles "Bad Habit" — Steve Lacy "BREAK MY SOUL" — Beyoncé "Easy On Me" — Adele "GOD DID" — DJ Khaled feat. Rick Ross, Lil Wayne, JAY-Z, John Legend & Fridayy "The Heart Part 5" — Kendrick Lamar "Just Like That" — Bonnie Raitt **WINNER**

Album of the Year

Voyage — ABBA 30 — Adele Un Verano Sin Ti — Bad Bunny RENAISSANCE — Beyoncé Good Morning Gorgeous (Deluxe) — Mary J. Blige In These Silent Days — Brandi Carlile Music Of The Spheres — Coldplay Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers — Kendrick Lamar Special — Lizzo Harry's House — Harry Styles **WINNER**

Best New Artist

Anitta Omar Apollo DOMi & JD Beck Samara Joy **WINNER** Latto Måneskin Muni Long Tobe Nwigwe Molly Tuttle Wet Leg

Best Pop Solo Performance

"Easy On Me" — Adele **WINNER** "Moscow Mule" — Bad Bunny "Woman" — Doja Cat "Bad Habit" — Steve Lacy "About Damn Time" — Lizzo "As It Was" — Harry Styles

Best Pop Duo/Group Performance

"Don't Shut Me Down" — ABBA "Bam Bam" — Camila Cabello feat. Ed Sheeran "My Universe" — Coldplay & BTS "I Like You (A Happier Song)" — Post Malone & Doja Cat "Unholy" — Sam Smith & Kim Petras **WINNER**

Best Traditional Pop Vocal Album

Higher — Michael Bublé **WINNER** When Christmas Comes Around... — Kelly Clarkson I Dream of Christmas (Extended) — Norah Jonas Evergreen — Pentatonix Thank You — Diana Ross

Best Pop Vocal Album

Voyage — ABBA 30 — Adele Music Of The Spheres — Coldplay Special — Lizzo Harry's House — Harry Styles **WINNER**

Best Dance/Electronic Recording

"BREAK MY SOUL" — Beyoncé **WINNER** "Rosewood" — Bonobo "Don't Forget My Love" — Diplo & Miguel "I'm Good (Blue)" — David Guetta & Bebe Rexha "Intimidated" — KAYTRANADA feat. H.E.R. "On My Knees" — RÜFÜS DU SOL

Best Dance/Electronic Music Album

RENAISSANCE — Beyoncé **WINNER** Fragments — Bonobo Diplo — Diplo The Last Goodbye — ODESZA Surrender — RÜFÜS DU SOL

Best Contemporary Instrumental Album

Between Dreaming and Joy — Jeff Coffin Not Tight — DOMi & JD Beck Blooz — Grant Geissman Jacob's Ladder — Brad Mehldau Empire Central — Snarky Puppy **WINNER**

Best Rock Performance

"So Happy It Hurts" — Bryan Adams "Old Man" — Beck "Wild Child" — The Black Keys "Broken Horses" — Brandi Carlile **WINNER** "Crawl!" — Idles "Patient Number 9" — Ozzy Osbourne feat. Jeff Beck "Holiday" — Turnstile

Best Metal Performance

"Call Me Little Sunshine" — Ghost "We'll Be Back" — Megadeth "Kill Or Be Killed" — Muse "Degradation Rules" — Ozzy Osbourne feat. Tony Iommi **WINNER** "Blackout" — Turnstile

Best Rock Song

"Black Summer" — Red Hot Chili Peppers "Blackout" — Turnstile "Broken Horses" — Brandi Carlile **WINNER** "Harmonia's Dream" — The War On Drugs "Patient Number 9" — Ozzy Osbourne feat. Jeff Beck

Best Rock Album

Dropout Boogie — The Black Keys The Boy Named If — Elvis Costello & The Imposters Crawler — Idles Mainstream Sellout — Machine Gun Kelly Patient Number 9 — Ozzy Osbourne **WINNER** Lucifer On The Sofa — Spoon

Best Alternative Music Performance

"There'd Better Be A Mirrorball" — Arctic Monkeys "Certainty" — Big Thief "King" — Florence + The Machine "Chaise Longue" — Wet Leg **WINNER** "Spitting Off The Edge Of The World" — Yeah Yeah Yeahs feat. Perfume Genius

Best Alternative Music Album

WE — Arcade Fire Dragon New Warm Mountain I Believe In You — Big Thief Fossora — Björk Wet Leg — Wet Leg **WINNER** Cool It Down — Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Best R&B Performance

"VIRGO'S GROOVE" — Beyoncé "Here With Me" — Mary J. Blige Featuring Anderson .Paak "Over" — Lucky Daye "Hrs & Hrs" — Muni Long **WINNER** "Hurt Me So Good" — Jazmine Sullivan

Best Traditional R&B Performance

"Do 4 Love" — Snoh Aalegra "Keeps On Fallin'" — Babyface feat. Ella Mai "PLASTIC OFF THE SOFA" — Beyoncé **WINNER** "'Round Midnight" — Adam Blackstone feat. Jazmine Sullivan "Good Morning Gorgeous" — Mary J. Blige

Best R&B Song

"CUFF IT" — Beyoncé **WINNER** "Good Morning Gorgeous" — Mary J. Blige "Hrs & Hrs" — Muni Long "Hurt Me So Good" — Jazmine Sullivan "Please Don't Walk Away" — PJ Morton

Best Progressive R&B Album

Operation Funk — Cory Henry Gemini Rights — Steve Lacy **WINNER** Drones — Terrace Martin Starfruit — Moonchild Red Balloon — Tanks And The Bangas

Best R&B Album

Good Morning Gorgeous (Deluxe) — Mary J. Blige Breezy (Deluxe) — Chris Brown Black Radio III — Robert Glasper **WINNER** Candydrip — Lucky Daye Watch The Sun — PJ Morton

Best Rap Performance

"GOD DID" — DJ Khaled Featuring Rick Ross, Lil Wayne, JAY-Z, John Legend & Fridayy "Vegas" — Doja Cat "pushin P" — Gunna & Future feat. Young Thug "F.N.F. (Let's Go)" — Hitkidd & GloRilla "The Heart Part 5" — Kendrick Lamar **WINNER**

Best Melodic Rap Performance

"BEAUTIFUL" — DJ Khaled feat. Future & SZA "WAIT FOR U" — Future feat. Drake & Tems **WINNER** "First Class" — Jack Harlow "Die Hard" — Kendrick Lamar fest. Blxst & Amanda Reifer "Big Energy (Live)" — Latto

Best Rap Song

"Churchill Downs" — Jack Harlow feat. Drake "GOD DID" — DJ Khaled feat. Rick Ross, Lil Wayne, JAY-Z, John Legend & Fridayy "The Heart Part 5" — Kendrick Lamar **WINNER** "pushin P" — Gunna & Future feat. Young Thug "WAIT FOR U" — Future feat. Drake & Tems

Best Rap Album

GOD DID — DJ Khaled I Never Liked You — Future Come Home The Kids Miss You — Jack Harlow Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers — Kendrick Lamar **WINNER** It's Almost Dry — Pusha T

Best Country Solo Performance

"Heartfirst" — Kelsea Ballerini "Something In The Orange" — Zach Bryan "In His Arms" — Miranda Lambert "Circles Around This Town" — Maren Morris "Live Forever" — Willie Nelson **WINNER**

Best Country Duo/Group Performance

"Wishful Drinking" — Ingrid Andress & Sam Hunt "Midnight Rider's Prayer" — Brothers Osbourne "Outrunnin' Your Memory" — Luke Combs & Miranda Lambert "Does He Love You - Revisited" — Reba McEntire & Dolly Parton "Never Wanted to Be That Girl" — Carly Pearce & Ashley McBryde **WINNER** "Going Where The Lonely Go" — Robert Plant & Alison Krauss

Best Country Song

"Circles Around This Town" — Maren Morris "Doin' This" — Luke Combs "I Bet You Think About Me (Taylor’s Version) (From the Vault)" — Taylor Swift "If I Was a Cowboy" — Miranda Lambert "I'll Love You Till The Day I Die" — Willie Nelson "'Til You Can’t" — Cody Johnson **WINNER**

Best Country Album

Growin’ Up — Luke Combs Palomino — Miranda Lambert Ashley McBryde Presents: Lindeville — Ashley McBryde Humble Quest — Maren Morris A Beautiful Time — Willie Nelson **WINNER**

Best New Age, Ambient or Chant Album

Positano Songs — Will Ackerman Joy — Paul Avgerinos Mantra Americana — Madi Das and Dave Stringer with Bhakti Without Borders The Passenger — Cheryl B. Engelhardt Mystic Mirror — White Sun **WINNER**

Best Improvised Jazz Solo

"Rounds (Live)" — Ambrose Akinmusire, soloist "Keep Holding On" — Gerald Albright, soloist "Falling" — Melissa Aldana, soloist "Call of the Drum" — Marcus Baylor, soloist "Cherokee/Koko" — John Beasley, soloist "Endangered Species" — Wayne Shorter and Leo Genovese, soloist **WINNER**

Best Jazz Vocal Album

The Evening : Live At APPARATUS — The Baylor Project Linger Awhile — Samara Joy **WINNER** Fade To Black — Carmen Lundy Fifty — The Manhattan Transfer With The WDR Funkhausorchester Ghost Song — Cécile McLorin Salvant

Best Jazz Instrumental Album

New Standards Vol. 1 — Terri Lyne Carrington, Kris Davis, Linda May Han Oh, Nicholas Payton and Matthew Stevens **WINNER** Live in Italy — Peter Erskine Trio LongGone — Joshua Redman, Brad Mehldau, Christian McBride and Brian Blade Live at the Detroit Jazz Festival — Wayne Shorter, Terri Lyne Carrington, Leo Genovese and Esperanza Spalding Parallel Motion — Yellowjackets

Best Large Jazz Ensemble Album

Bird Lives — John Beasley, Magnus Lindgren and SWR Big Band Remembering Bob Freedman — Ron Carter & the Jazzaar Festival Big Band directed by Christian Jacob Generation Gap Jazz Orchestra — Steven Feifke, Bijon Watson, Generation Gap Jazz Orchestra **WINNER** Center Stage — Steve Gadd, Eddie Gomez, Ronnie Cuber and WDR Big Band conducted by Michael Abene Architecture of Storms — Remy Le Boeuf’s Assembly of Shadows

Best Latin Jazz Album

Fandango at the Wall in New York — Arturo O’Farrill and the Afro Latin Jazz Orchestra featuring the Congra Patria Son Jarocho Collective **WINNER** Crisálida — Danilo Pérez featuring the Global Messengers If You Will — Flora Purim Rhythm & Soul — Arturo Sandoval Música De Las Américas — Miguel Zenón

Best Gospel Performance/Song

"Positive" — Erica Campbell "When I Pray" — Doe "Kingdom" — Maverick City Music and Kirk Franklin **WINNER** "The Better Benediction" — PJ Morton feat. Zacardi Cortez, Gene Moore, Samoht, Tim Rogers and Darrel Walls "Get Up" — Tye Tribbett

Best Contemporary Christian Music Performance/Song

"God Really Loves Us (Radio Version)" — Crowder feat. Dante Bowe and Maverick City Music "So Good" — Doe "For God Is With Us" — For King & Country and Hillary Scott "Fear Is Not My Future" — Maverick City Music and Kirk Franklin **WINNER** "Holy Forever" — Chris Tomlin "Hymn of Heaven (Radio Version)" — Phil Wickham

Best Gospel Album

Die to Live — Maranda Curtis Breakthrough: The Exodus (Live) — Ricky Dillard Clarity — Doe Kingdom Book One Deluxe — Maverick City Music and Kirk Franklin **WINNER** All Things New — Tye Tribbett

Best Contemporary Christian Music Album

Lion — Elevation Worship Breathe — Maverick City Music **WINNER** Life After Death — TobyMac Always — Chris Tomlin My Jesus — Anne Wilson

Best Roots Gospel Album

Let’s Just Praise the Lord — Gaither Vocal Band Confessio — Irish American Roots — Keith and Kristyn Getty The Willie Nelson Family — Willie Nelson 2:22 — Karen Peck and New River The Urban Hymnal — Tennessee State University Marching Band **WINNER**

Best Latin Pop Album

AGUILERA — Christina Aguilera Pasieros — Rubén Blades and Boca Livre **WINNER** De Adentro Pa Afuera — Camilo VIAJANTE — Fonseca Dharma+ — Sebastián Yatra

Best Música Urbana Album

TRAP CAKE, VOL. 2 — Rauw Alejandro Un Verano Sin Ti — Bad Bunny **WINNER** LEGENDADDY — Daddy Yankee La 167 — Farruko The Love & Sex Tape — Maluma

Best Latin Rock or Alternative Album

El Alimento — Cimafunk Tinta y Tiempo — Jorge Drexler 1940 Carmen — Mon Laferte Alegoría — Gaby Moreno Los Años Salvajes — Fito Paez MOTOMAMI — Rosalía **WINNER**

Best Regional Mexican Music Album (Including Tejano)

Abeja — Reina Chiquis Un Canto por México — El Musical — Natalia Lafourcade **WINNER** La Reunión (Deluxe) — Los Tigres Del Norte EP #1 — Forajido Christian Nodal Qué Ganas de Verte (Deluxe) — Marco Antonio Solís

Best Tropical Latin Album

Pa’lla Voy — Marc Anthony **WINNER** Quiero Verte Feliz — La Santa Cecilia Lado A Lado B — Víctor Manuelle Legendario — Tito Nieves Imágenes Latinas — Spanish Harlem Orchestra Cumbiana II — Carlos Vives

Best American Roots Performance

"Someday It’ll All Make Sense (Bluegrass Version)" — Bill Anderson feat. Dolly Parton "Life According to Raechel" — Madison Cunningham "Oh Betty" — Fantastic Negrito "Stompin’ Ground" — Aaron Neville with the Dirty Dozen Brass Band **WINNER** "Prodigal Daughter" — Aoife O’Donovan and Allison Russell

Best Americana Performance

"Silver Moon (A Tribute to Michael Nesmith)" — Eric Alexandrakis "There You Go Again" — Asleep at the Wheel feat. Lyle Lovett "The Message" — Blind Boys of Alabama feat. Black Violin "You and Me on the Rock" — Brandi Carlile feat. Lucius "Made Up Mind" — Bonnie Raitt **WINNER**

Best American Roots Song

"Bright Star" — Anaïs Mitchell "Forever" — Sheryl Crow "High And Lonesome" — Robert Plant & Alison Krauss "Just Like That" — Bonnie Raitt **WINNER** "Prodigal Daughter" — Aoife O'Donovan & Allison Russell "You And Me On The Rock" — Brandi Carlile feat. Lucius

Best Americana Album

In These Silent Days — Brandi Carlile **WINNER** Things Happen That Way — Dr. John Good To Be... — Keb' Mo' Raise The Roof — Robert Plant & Alison Krauss Just Like That... — Bonnie Raitt

Best Bluegrass Album

Toward the Fray — The Infamous Stringdusters Almost Proud — The Del McCoury Band Calling You From My Mountain — Peter Rowan Crooked Tree — Molly Tuttle and Golden Highway **WINNER** Get Yourself Outside — Yonder Mountain String Band

Best Traditional Blues Album

Heavy Load Blues — Gov’t Mule The Blues Don’t Lie — Buddy Guy Get On Board — Taj Mahal and Ry Cooder **WINNER** The Sun Is Shining Down — John Mayall Mississippi Son — Charlie Musselwhite

Best Contemporary Blues Album

Done Come Too Far — Shemekia Copeland Crown — Eric Gales Bloodline Maintenance — Ben Harper Set Sail — North Mississippi Allstars Brother Johnny — Edgar Winter **WINNER**

Best Folk Album

Spellbound — Judy Collins Revealer — Madison Cunningham **WINNER** The Light at the End of the Line — Janis Ian Age of Apathy — Aoife O’Donovan Hell on Church Street — Punch Brothers

Best Regional Roots Music Album

Full Circle — Sean Ardoin and Kreole Rock and Soul feat. LSU Golden Band from Tigerland Natalie Noelani — Natalie Ai Kamauu Halau Hula Keali’i O Nalani — Live at the Getty Center — Halau Hula Keali’i O Nalani Lucky Man — Nathan and the Zydeco Cha Chas Live at the 2022 New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival — Ranky Tanky **WINNER**

Best Reggae Album

The Kalling — Kabaka Pyramid **WINNER** Gifted — Koffee Scorcha — Sean Paul Third Time’s the Charm — Protoje Com Fly Wid Mi — Shaggy

Best Global Music Performance

"Udhero Na" — Arooj Aftab and Anoushka Shankar "Gimme Love" — Matt B and Eddy Kenzo "Last Last" — Burna Boy "Neva Bow Down" — Rocky Dawuni featuring Blvk H3ro "Bayethe" — Wouter Kellerman, Zakes Bantwini and Nomcebo Zikode **WINNER**

Best Global Music Album

Shuruaat — Berklee Indian Ensemble Love, Damini — Burna Boy Queen Of Sheba — Angélique Kidjo & Ibrahim Maalouf Between Us... (Live) — Anoushka Shankar, Metropole Orkest & Jules Buckley Featuring Manu Delago Sakura — Masa Takumi **WINNER**

Best Children's Music Album

Into the Little Blue House — Wendy and DB Los Fabulosos — Lucky Diaz and the Family Jam Band The Movement — Alphabet Rockers **WINNER** Ready Set Go! — Divinity Roxx Space Cadet — Justin Roberts

Best Audio Book, Narration, and Storytelling Recording

Act Like You Got Some Sense — Jamie Foxx All About Me!: My Remarkable Life in Show Business by Mel Brooks — Mel Brooks Aristotle and Dante Dive Into the Waters of the World — Lin-Manuel Miranda Finding Me — Viola Davis **WINNER** Music Is History — Questlove

Best Spoken Word Poetry Album

Black Men Are Precious — Ethelbert Miller Call Us What We Carry: Poems — Amanda Gorman Hiding In Plain View — Malcolm-Jamal Warner The Poet Who Sat By The Door — J. Ivy **WINNER** You Will Be Someone's Ancestor. Act Accordingly. — Amir Sulaiman

Best Comedy Album

The Closer - Dave Chappelle **WINNER** Comedy Monster - Jim Gaffigan A Little Brains, A Little Talent - Randy Rainbow Sorry - Louis CK We All Scream - Patton Oswalt

Best Musical Theater Album

Caroline, Or Change Into the Woods (2022 Broadway Cast Recording) **WINNER** MJ The Musical Mr. Saturday Night Six: Live on Opening Night A Strange Loop

Best Compilation Soundtrack for Visual Media

ELVIS Encanto **WINNER** Stranger Things: Soundtrack from the Netflix Series, Season 4 (Vol.2) Top Gun: Maverick West Side Story

Best Score Soundtrack for Visual Media

The Batman — Michael Giacchino, composer Encanto — Germaine Franco, composer **WINNER** No Time to Die — Hans Zimmer, composer The Power of the Dog — Jonny Greenwood, composer Succession: Season 3 — Nicholas Britell, composer

Best Score Soundtrack For Video Games And Other Interactive Media

Aliens: Fireteam Elite — Austin Wintory, composer Assassin's Creed Valhalla: Dawn Of Ragnarök — Stephanie Economou, composer **WINNER** Call Of Duty®: Vanguard — Bear McCreary, composer Marvel's Guardians Of The Galaxy — Richard Jacques, composer Old World — Christopher Tin, composer

Best Song Written For Visual Media

"Be Alive" [from King Richard] — Beyoncé "Carolina" [from Where The Crawdads Sing] — Taylor Swift "Hold My Hand" [from Top Gun: Maverick] — Lady Gaga "Keep Rising (The Woman King)" [from The Woman King] — Jessy Wilson feat. Angélique Kidjo "Nobody Like U" [from Turning Red] — 4*Town, Jordan Fisher, Finneas O'Connell, Josh Levi, Topher Ngo, Grayson Villanueva "We Don't Talk About Bruno" [from Encanto] — Lin-Manuel Miranda, songwriter (Carolina Gaitán - La Gaita, Mauro Castillo, Adassa, Rhenzy Feliz, Diane Guerrero, Stephanie Beatriz & Encanto - Cast) **WINNER**

Best Instrumental Composition

"African Tales" — Paquito D’Rivera, composer (Tasha Warren and Dave Eggar) "El País Invisible — Miguel Zenón, composer (Miguel Zenón, José Antonio Zayas Cabán, Ryan Smith and Casey Rafn) "Fronteras (Borders) Suite: Al-Musafir Blues" — Danilo Pérez, composer (Danilo Pérez featuring the Global Messengers) "Refuge" — Geoffrey Keezer, composer (Geoffrey Keezer) **WINNER** "Snapshots" — Pascal Le Boeuf, composer (Tasha Warren and Dave Eggar)

Best Arrangement, Instrumental or A Cappella

"As Days Go By (an Arrangement of the Family Matters Theme Song)" — Armand Hutton, arranger (Armand Hutton Featuring Terrell Hunt and Just 6) "How Deep Is Your Love" — Matt Cusson, arranger (Kings Return) "Main Titles (Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness)" — Danny Elfman, arranger (Danny Elfman) "Minnesota, WI" — Remy Le Boeuf, arranger (Remy Le Boeuf) "Scrapple From the Apple" — John Beasley, arranger (Magnus Lindgren, John Beasley and the SWR Big Band featuring Martin Aeur) **WINNER**

Best Arrangement, Instruments and Vocals

"Let It Happen" — Louis Cole, arranger (Louis Cole) "Never Gonna Be Alone" — Jacob Collier, arranger (Jacob Collier featuring Lizzy McAlpine and John Mayer) "Optimistic Voices / No Love Dying" — Cécile McLorin Salvant, arranger (Cécile McLorin Salvant) "Songbird (Orchestral Version)" — Vince Mendoza, arranger (Christine McVie) **WINNER** "2 + 2 = 5 (Arr. Nathan Schram)" — Nathan Schram and Becca Stevens, arrangers (Becca Stevens and Attacca Quartet)

Best Recording Package

Beginningless Beginning — Chun-Tien Hsia and Qing-Yang Xiao, art directors (Tamsui-Kavalan Chinese Orchestra) **WINNER** Divers — William Stichter, art director (Soporus) Everything Was Beautiful — Mark Farrow, art director (Spiritualized) Telos — Ming Liu, art director (Fann) Voyeurist — Tnsn Dvsn, art director (Underoath)

Best Boxed or Special Limited Edition Package

Artists Inspired By Music: Interscope Reimagined — Josh Abraham, Steve Berman, Jimmy Iovine, John Janick and Jason Sangerman, art directors (Various Artists) Big Mess — Berit Gwendolyn Gilma, art director (Danny Elfman) Black Pumas (Collector’s Edition Box Set) — Jenna Krackenberger, Anna McCaleb and Preacher, art directors (Black Pumas) Book — Paul Sahre, art director (They Might Be Giants) In and Out of the Garden: Madison Square Garden ’81 ’82 ’83 — Lisa Glines, Doran Tyson and Dave Van Patten, art directors (The Grateful Dead) **WINNER**

Best Album Notes

The American Clavé Recordings — Fernando González, album notes writer (Astor Piazzolla) Andy Irvine and Paul Brady — Gareth Murphy, album notes writer (Andy Irvine and Paul Brady) Harry Partch, 1942 — John Schneider, album notes writer (Harry Partch) Life’s Work: A Retrospective — Ted Olson, album notes writer (Doc Watson) Yankee Hotel Foxtrot (20th Anniversary Super Deluxe Edition) — Bob Mehr, album notes writer (Wilco) **WINNER**

Best Historical Album

Against the Odds: 1974-1982 — Blondie The Goldberg Variations — The Complete Unreleased 1981 Studio Sessions — Glenn Gould) Life’s Work: A Retrospective — Doc Watson To Whom It May Concern… — Freestyle Fellowship Yankee Hotel Foxtrot (20th Anniversary Super Deluxe Edition) — Wilco **WINNER**

Songwriter Of The Year, Non-Classical

Amy Allen Nija Charles Tobias Jesso Jr. **WINNER** The-Dream Laura Veltz

Best Engineered Album, Non-Classical

Adolescence — Baynk Black Radio III — Robert Glasper Chloë and the Next 20th Century — Father John Misty Harry’s House — Harry Styles **WINNER** Wet Leg — Wet Leg

Producer of the Year, Non-Classical

Jack Antonoff **WINNER** Dan Auerbach Boi-1da Dahi Dernst “D’mile” Emile II

Best Remixed Recording

"About Damn Time (Purple Disco Machine Remix)" — Purple Disco Machine, remixer (Lizzo) **WINNER** "Break My Soul (Terry Hunter Remix)" — Terry Hunter, remixer (Beyoncé) "Easy Lover (Four Tet Remix)" — Four Tet, remixer (Ellie Goulding) "Slow Song (Paul Woolford Remix)" — Paul Woolford, remixer (The Knocks and Dragonette) "Too Late Now (Soulwax Remix)" — Soulwax, remixers (Wet Leg)

Best Immersive Audio Album

Aguilera — Christina Aguilera Divine Tides — Stewart Copeland and Ricky Kej **WINNER** Memories … Do Not Open — The Chainsmokers Picturing the Invisible — Focus 1 — Jane Ira Bloom Tuvayhun — Beatitudes for a Wounded World — Nidarosdomens Jentekor and Trondheimsolistene

Best Engineered Album, Classical

Bates: Philharmonia Fantastique — The Making of the Orchestra — Edwin Outwater and Chicago Symphony Orchestra **WINNER** Beethoven: Symphony No. 6; Stucky: Silent Spring — Manfred Honeck and Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra Perspectives — Third Coast Percussion Tuvayhun — Beatitudes for a Wounded World — Anita Brevik, Nidarosdomens Jentekor and Trondheimsolistene Williams: Violin Concerto No. 2 & Selected Film Themes — Anne-Sophie Mutter, John Williams and Boston Symphony Orchestra

Producer of the Year, Classical

Jonathan Allen Christoph Franke James Ginsburg Elaine Martone Judith Sherman **WINNER**

Best Orchestral Performance

"Adams, John Luther: Sila — The Breath of the World" — Doug Perkins, conductor off Michigan Department of Chamber Music and University of Michigan Percussion Ensemble)

"Dvořák: Symphonies Nos. 7-9" — Gustavo Dudamel, conductor (Los Angeles Philharmonic)

"Eastman: Stay on It" — Christopher Rountree, conductor (Wild Up)

"John Williams — The Berlin Concert" — John Williams, conductor (Berliner Philharmoniker)

"Works by Florence Price, Jessie Montgomery, Valerie Coleman" — Michael Repper, conductor (New York Youth Symphony) **WINNER**

Best Opera Recording

"Aucoin: Eurydice" — Yannick Nézet-Séguin, conductor; Barry Banks, Nathan Berg, Joshua Hopkins, Erin Morley and Jakub Józef Orliński; David Frost, producer (The Metropolitan Opera Orchestra; The Metropolitan Opera Chorus)

"Blanchard: Fire Shut Up in My Bones" — Yannick Nézet-Séguin, conductor; Angel Blue, Will Liverman, Latonia Moore and Walter Russell III; David Frost, producer (The Metropolitan Opera Orchestra; The Metropolitan Opera Chorus) **WINNER**

"Davis: X — The Life and Times of Malcolm X" — Gil Rose, conductor; Ronnita Miller, Whitney Morrison, Victor Robertson and Davóne Tines; Gil Rose, producer (Boston Modern Orchestra Project; Odyssey Opera Chorus)

Best Choral Performance

"Bach: St. John Passion" — John Eliot Gardiner, conductor (English Baroque Soloists; Monteverdi Choir)

"Born" — Donald Nally, conductor (Dominic German, Maren Montalbano, Rebecca Myers and James Reese; The Crossing) **WINNER**

"Verdi: Requiem — The Met Remembers 9/11" — Yannick Nézet-Séguin, conductor; Donald Palumbo, chorus master (Michelle DeYoung, Eric Owens, Ailyn Pérez and Matthew Polenzani; The Metropolitan Opera Orchestra; The Metropolitan Opera Chorus)

Best Chamber Music/Small Ensemble Performance

"Beethoven: Complete String Quartets, Volume 2 — The Middle Quartets" — Dover Quartet "Musical Remembrances" — Neave Trio "Perspectives" — Third Coast Percussion "Shaw: Evergreen" — Attacca Quartet **WINNER** "What Is American" — PUBLIQuartet

Best Classical Instrumental Solo

"Abels: Isolation Variation" — Hilary Hahn "Bach: The Art of Life" — Daniil Trifonov "Beethoven: Diabelli Variations" — Mitsuko Uchida "Letters for the Future" — Time for Three; Xian Zhang, conductor (The Philadelphia Orchestra) **WINNER** "A Night in Upper Town — The Music of Zoran Krajacic" — Mak Grgic

Best Classical Solo Vocal Album

Eden — Joyce DiDonato, soloist; Maxim Emelyanychev, conductor (Il Pomo D’Oro) How Do I Find You — Sasha Cooke, soloist; Kirill Kuzmin, pianist Okpebholo: Lord, How Come Me Here? — Will Liverman, soloist; Paul Sánchez, pianist (J’Nai Bridges and Caen Thomason-Redus) Stranger — Works for Tenor by Nico Muhly — Nicholas Phan, soloist (Eric Jacobson; Brooklyn Rider and the Knights; Reginald Mobley) Voice of Nature — The Anthropocene — Renée Fleming, soloist; Yannick Nézet-Séguin, pianist **WINNER**

Best Classical Compendium

An Adoption Story — Starr Parodi & Kitt Wakeley; Jeff Fair, Starr Parodi & Kitt Wakeley, producers **WINNER** Aspire — JP Jofre & Seunghee Lee; Enrico Fagone, conductor; Jonathan Allen, producer A Concert For Ukraine — Yannick Nézet-Séguin, conductor; David Frost, producer The Lost Birds — Voces8; Barnaby Smith & Christopher Tin, conductors; Sean Patrick Flahaven & Christopher Tin, producers

Best Music Video

"Easy on Me" — Adele "Yet to Come" — BTS "Woman" — Doja Cat "The Heart Part 5" — Kendrick Lamar "As It Was" — Harry Styles "All Too Well: The Short Film" — Taylor Swift **WINNER**

Best Music Film

Adele One Night Only — Adele Our World — Justin Bieber Billie Eilish Live at the O2 — Billie Eilish Motomami (Rosalía TikTok Live Performance) — Rosalía Jazz Fest: A New Orleans Story — Various Artists **WINNER** A Band A Brotherhood A Barn — Neil Young and Crazy Horse

The 65th Annual GRAMMY Awards took place Sunday, Feb. 5, 2023, at 8 p.m. ET / 5 p.m. PT and was broadcasted and streamed live on CBS and Paramount+. Follow along at ETonline.com for everything you need to get ready for music's biggest night, including how to watch, GRAMMY performers and more.

RELATED CONTENT:

Kim Petras Reflects on Historic GRAMMY Win: 'Labels Matter So Much'

Brandi Carlile's Wife and Kids Introduce Her 2023 GRAMMYs Performance

How 2023 GRAMMY Awards Paid Tribute to Lisa Marie Presley

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bradandchris · 2 years ago

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Wow. Chris never heard of Frank Sinatra before skimming across TIME Magazine’s 100 Skankiest People at the dentist’s office. Who knew there was a Kevin Spacey for the ladies? Well, Frank Sinatra was dead. Lol. Dead.

Oh. That could make for a good single. Chris could call the song ‘Not Kevin Spacey’ or maybe ‘Dead lol’. What about ‘No One Here Is Madonna (Still Mix)’ or ‘Point But Do & Do Not (The Sequel Mash-Up Part 4 & 9 But This Time 2 The Second Power Feat Annie Dope) Who wouldn’t buy that last track? Annie Dope didn’t even exist. Chris was THAT good at coining underground dance anthems.

Anyway, the track required itself to be something obviously super mainstream that lived underground adjacent but specifically not to the left. That area was already covered, remixed and put to bed by Ecnoyeb and her band The Living Mirror. Their album ‘Back At Me’ turned out to be about dirty penguins and therefore groundbreaking.

Chris was admittedly only vaguely familiar with the space. In reality, he and Brad existed in a gay bubble within a gay bubble with a foot in high fashion and a little known annex in Chelsea despite everything else being in LA. That was totally different. Still, it needed to be spelled out as most people were drunk or high when these things were referenced. The degree of difficulty in giving directions was exactly why their stomping grounds became so obscure.

BTW, it didn’t matter which foot was high just so long it was one. The person could also be high in totality as a foot would be included. Despite sounding exclusionary, the entire notion was actually cooperative as the last thing anyone needed was for some unassured queen to offend the neighbors in the bubble, bubblehood. Chris always liked to clarify these kinds of things to ensure the nuances of the underground culture didn’t get in the way of a good time.

Hmmmm. You know what? Chris would float this song idea past his friend Miss Kitten. It sounded like her.

Chris then caught himself changing in the dentist lobby as if he went to the gym. ‘Ugh.’ Automation really was overrated. It inherently left people out, and this time it was him.

Now putting his clothes back on, Chris would credit the save to the mindfulness of the receptionist lady. She had an eye for Chris and wore a finicky retro pin-up cone bra. She was hot in her own light and definitely not Madonna. Nobody there was.

You know, Portugal was lasting longer than most expected. Chris would talk to Brad that night about a possible annex, annex across the pond. It might be a good investment. It was not difficult to imagine Madonna’s kids were not dying to get out of that house and had $$. Oscar de PayRenta may just serve everyone.

That’s when the receptionist informed Chris his appt was for the next day. She tried to tell him earlier when he was talking to himself in his undies and didn’t get thru. The underwear VURRRY cute and nothing incriminating said, so Chris need not to insert any worry there. The two others in the waiting area were fine. She saw they were half intimidated by his body and half shocked so came out to tap Chris on the shoulder.

‘Well, hello.’

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darksideofparis · 2 years ago

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Ain’t Nothing ‘Bout You by Brooks and Dunn

All Of The Girls You Loved Before by Taylor Swift

Along Comes a Woman by Chicago

Anywhere But Here by Hilary Duff

#Beautiful by Mariah Carey (feat. Miguel)

Black by Dierks Bentley

Born to Fly by Sara Evans

Brand New Man by Brooks & Dunn (feat. Luke Combs)

Breathe on Me by Britney Spears

Centuries by Fall Out Boy

Chemicals React Remix by Aly & AJ

Cowboys and Angels by Dustin Lynch

Craving You by Thomas Rhett (feat. Maren Morris)

Criminal by Lindsay Ell

Do You Believe In Love by Huey Lewis and the News

Drag Me Down by One Direction

Empire by Shakira

E.T. by Katy Perry

Everything Has Changed (Taylor’s Version) by Taylor Swift (feat. Ed. Sheeran)

Everything I Shouldn’t Be Thinking About by Thompson Square

Fire N Gold by Bea Miller

First Love by Jennifer Lopez

Forever and Ever, Amen by Randy Travis

For Her by Chris Lane

Gasoline by Britney Spears

Give Your Heart a Break by Julia Sheer

God Gave Me You by Blake Shelton

Goner by Mitchell Tenpenny

The Good Ones by Gabby Barrett

Got What I Got by Jason Aldean

Happy Anywhere by Blake Shelton (feat. Gwen Stefani)

Hard To Be Cool by Joe Nichols

Haven’t Met You Yet by Michael Bublé

H.O.L.Y. by Florida Georgia Line

I Do For You by Dillon Carmichael

Invisible String by Taylor Swift

I Run To You by Lady A

I Want You to Know by Zedd (feat. Selena Gomez)

Johnny Cash Heart by Caleb Lee Hutchinson

Jump Then Fall (Taylor’s Version) by Taylor Swift

King of My Heart by Taylor Swift

Lay All Your Love on Me by Dominic Cooper and Amanda Seyfried (from Mamma Mia! The Movie)

Levitating by Dua Lipa (feat. DaBaby)

Long Live (Taylor's Version) by Taylor Swift

Look What God Gave Her by Thomas Rhett

Losing Sleep by Chris Young

Love Somebody by Maroon 5

Love Someone by Brett Eldredge

The Man by Aloe Blacc

Mine Would Be You by Blake Shelton

My Miracle by Brad Paisley

My Weakness by Jason Aldean

Nobody But You by Blake Shelton (feat. Gwen Stefani)

Now That I Found You by Terri Clark

One Thing by One Direction

On My Way to You by Cody Johnson

Perfect Storm by Brad Paisley

Powerful by Major Lazer (feat. Ellie Goulding and Tarrus Riley)

Rather Be by Clean Bandit (feat. Jess Glynne)

Right There by Ariana Grande (feat. Big Sean)

She’s Everything by Brad Paisley

She’s Got It All by Kenny Chesney

Something Better by Audien (feat. Lady A)

Southern Girl by Tim McGraw

Sparks by Hilary Duff

Sparks Fly (Taylor's Version) by Taylor Swift

Style (Taylor's Version) by Taylor Swift

Superman (Taylor's Version) by Taylor Swift

Thank God by Gabby Barrett

A Thousand Years by Glee Cast

The Tide is High by Atomic Kitten

Timber, I'm Falling in Love by Danielle Bradbery & Blake Shelton

Time is Love by Josh Turner

Timeless (Taylor's Version) (From the Vault) by Taylor Swift

Tip of My Tongue by Kenny Chesney

Treacherous (Taylor’s Version) by Taylor Swift

Troublemaker by Olly Murs (feat. Flo Rida)

Turnin' Me On by Blake Shelton

Two Is Better Than One by Boys Like Girls (feat. Taylor Swift)

Wanted by Hunter Hayes

Waterloo by Hugh Skinner and Lily James (from Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again)

The Way by Ariana Grande (feat. Mac Miller)

The Way You Love Me by Faith Hill

Whenever, Wherever by Shakira

When She Says Baby by Jason Aldean

Whiskey in a Teacup by Dean Brody

Who I Am With You by Chris Young

Why Don’t You Love Me by Hot Chelle Rae (feat. Demi Lovato)

Why Not by Hilary Duff

Willow by Taylor Swift

Yellow by Jodie Whittaker (from Got It Covered by BBC Children in Need)

Your Man by Josh Turner

Yours by Russell Dickerson

Taglist: @arrthurpendragon @that-demigirl @foxesandmagic

#ocappreciation #alex locke #alex locke series #doctor who #fanfiction #darksideofparis #oc playlist

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biomic · 3 years ago

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well i've now watched all the child's play movies (minus the remake because lol), clearly one of my finer achievements. here are my thots

child's play - didn't actually rewatch this one just bc i've seen it multiple times in the past and the major plot beats are still fresh in my mind. it's a classic, we know this

child's play 2 - was kinda blown away by how much i was nostalgic over this one. i've never thought of it as an iconic movie of my youth, i don't even know if i saw it more than once or twice, but i was remembering every scene super clearly. super fun movie to revisit, anchored by andy and kyle's genuinely sweet bond and brad dourif getting to chuck it up from the start. the final showdown in the toy factory? utterly iconic in the genuine sense of the word

child's play 3 - this movie was so aggressively nothing. apparently they rushed this whole production out in under a year and god does it show. it tries to differentiate itself by being set at a military school but those tropes bore me to tears. chucky's settled into more of a comedic character, but the story's still playing itself serious, so his one-liners just come off as corny and lame rather than campy fun. and my GOD do the kills suck complete ass in this one. half of them are chucky killing people indirectly, like replacing paint guns with real bullets. that'd be a scary idea if this were a normal military movie, but it's not the kind of the thing that keeps me on the edge of my seat in a killer doll flick. it's just a very uninspired sequel, the only one in the franchise i'd call stale

bride of chucky - MASTERPIECE. the screamification of late 90s horror did this one a lot of good, and jennifer tilly as tiffany is the best thing to happen to this franchise. i wasn't even annoyed by katherine heigl in this movie! a feat i thought impossible in a post-grey's anatomy world. it's definitely my favorite of the bunch, seeing chucky and tiffany bounce off each other as the world's most dysfunctional homicidal couple is just way too fun

seed of chucky - they literally named this movie Chucky's Cum. so this wasn't as bad as i was expecting, but i can't really say it's Good either. a big sticking point for a lot of fans is the portrayal of glen/da's genderfluidity, and while i get why people felt it was in bad taste, i wasn't personally bothered by it. i mean, for a gross-out horror comedy about killer dolls from 2004, certain parts felt almost progressive in a weird way. i dunno, depends on how much you can line up with this movie's wavelength i guess. still, i could've done without a lot of the piss gags and chucky jerking off. this movie's saving grace? jennifer tilly playing herself acting alongside tiffany as a doll. i was losing my shit the entire time they interacted, huge brained shit truly

curse of chucky - if bride is how to do a revamp, this is how to go back to basics. this was the first chucky movie i had never seen before (most of the other ones i caught on tv 15ish years ago), and damn was it refreshing. going back to a more suspenseful horror tone where chucky doesn't talk for the first half of the movie was a huge risk, but it really paid off. im not scared of dolls, but the redesign they gave him genuinely hits just the right level of uncanny valley to freak me out for the first time in the entire series. don mancini's skill as a director got a huge upgrade from last time, and the end result is a really cool gothic horror movie featuring chucky. loved it. nica pierce best final girl 2k13

cult of chucky - THEY MADE CHUCKY A HOT WOMAN :( this film is absolutely fucking BONKERS and i completely dug it. i was a bit hesitant about the movie being set in a psychiatric hospital, but aside from a few dodgy portrayals i think they managed to mostly avoid the whole "ooooh aren't mentally ill people ~scary~" deal. this one for sure had the gnarliest kills in the whole series, im not that affected by gore in horror movies but i was wincing and looking away multiple times in this one. by the time you get to the multiple chuckies and nica getting possessed, you can just tell they were having a blast making this one, and it's infectious

when i started going through these i didn't know how i'd feel about them, i just wanted to be caught up for the show, but the experience has been pleasantly surprising. with don mancini having creative control over every film since its inception, there's a level of consistency here that can't be said for, i don't know, whatever the hell texas chainsaw's been trying to do since the original. but he's also not afraid to experiment and try out new things, so the series is able to maintain its identity without getting stale. this was a great time, and im super excited for the show now!

#kendrix morgan died for our sins #child's play for ts

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crashdevlin · 4 years ago

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Centerfold 4- Memory’s Been Sold

Centerfold Masterlist

Author’s Note: Written for Meghan who requested some fluffy A/B/O smut and then I came up with an idea and ran with it. Smut will start after the plot is established. Also, this is gonna go toward my @spnabobingo squares. This chapter fills my Slutty Omega square and is rated E for Explicit.

Summary: Dean is living the normal-boring life with Lisa. When he opens the newest Playboy, he gets the shock of his life.

Pairing: Alpha!Dean x Beta!Lisa, Alpha!Dean x Reader (memory)

Word count: 2083

Story Warnings: A/B/O dynamics, 18+! HERE BE SEX!! DON’T READ IF YOU’RE A YOUNG’UN!!! , masturbation, pornography, mentions of multiple partners, mentions of fem-fem porn

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean pulled his pickup into the gas station down the street from Lisa’s house...his house. He had a house. He had a home, a family, an 8-5 job on a construction crew. He had...a real life. A real boring life. He was bored, but he supposed it was normal to feel bored, right?

“Hey, Jerry. The coffee fresh?” Dean asked as he walked into the convenience store.

“Half hour old,” the clerk, Jerry, answered with a smile. “And, uh, it’s Tuesday!”

Dean chuckled as he grabbed a thick paper cup and poured dark, bitter liquid into it. “New mags came in, huh?”

“Yeah. The Penthouse center is hot as hell, man. Oh, and the Playmate of the Month is the hottest omega I’ve ever fuckin’ seen!”

Dean laughed as he fitted the top on the cup. “Well, bring ‘em out, man. You know I’m gonna buy ‘em.” He took a drink as he walked up to the counter. Jerry had a Penthouse and a Playboy on the counter already. “They’re that good, huh?”

“Dude...especially the omega Playmate, man. She is smoking hot.”

Dean set the coffee on the counter and picked up the Playboy, slipping it out of the sleeve and looking at the cover. The cover was a woman, Taffy Rose according to the tiny script on the bottom next to the photographer credit, in a strawberry-print bikini and bunny mask. Hot, but nothing special. Nothing different or new. But he flipped the magazine open to the center and gasped.

“Holy shit.” The bunny mask was gone, her body on full display except the bits of skin hidden by the pink feather boa. His throat went dry. His cock got hard in jeans. His head felt like it might explode.

“I know, right?!” Jerry exclaimed, happily. “Isn’t she the hottest thing you’ve ever seen?”

“Yeah. She’s the hottest thing I’ve ever…” Dean’s voice trailed off as he focused on her neck. No mark. He hoped they hadn’t photoshopped one out. She was the hottest thing he’d ever touched, tasted, the best thing he’d ever missed out on...Taffy Rose, Y/n Y/l/n...his omega. Dean cleared his throat and tried to close the magazine, but he couldn’t. She’d grown up so beautiful and he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. “She, uh...she been in anything I might’ve seen?”

“I don’t know, Dean. I’m Googling her name as soon as I get home. I suggest you do the same, man.”

“Yeah. Uh...I’m just gonna...I’m just gonna take the Playboy. I’ll get the Penthouse next time, Jer.” Dean threw a ten on the counter and walked out with the magazine, leaving his coffee behind and not even caring. He sat in his truck cab for a few minutes, staring at her photo. Y/n went into porn. Whoever would have thought that sweet little innocent young woman with the overprotective parents would- “Actually, no, that makes sense.”

He rubbed his hand over his erection as he looked at the ‘fuck me’ look in her eyes. It didn’t take long for his mind to drift back to her under him, holding him, letting out gasping cries as he fucked her, that look in her eyes as she dug her nails into his shoulders.

His cock softened as he remembered getting on the phone with her to tell her he was leaving.

He felt like he was going to cry when the line clicked. “Y/l/n Residence!”

“Y/n, it’s Dean.”

“Oh, hey! I just got finished washing every surface you touched,” she said, giggling. That giggle tugged at his heart. “I can’t wait to see you again, though. It was so worth the cleaning time.”

“Yeah, uh...it was awesome, baby, but...my, uh, my dad called.”

“Oh?” Dean could almost hear the heartbreak in her voice.

“Yeah. He...got word of a job in Connecticut. He’s pickin’ us up tomorrow.” There was silence on the line for a minute. “Y/n?”

“You’re leaving?” she squeaked.

“Yeah.” Dean had to fight the tears. “Yeah, we’re leaving.”

“But...what about...I...am I gonna get to see you again at all?”

“Not unless you can sneak out tonight. Dad’ll be here in the morning. We’ll be gone before noon.”

“Oh God.”

Dean took a deep breath and started the truck, driving home with a pit in his stomach. He immediately hid the magazine in his desk and sat in the rolling desk chair. He looked around to make sure Lisa and Ben were both out of the den area, hoping they were out of the house, before pulling up Google and searching for ‘Taffy Rose omega xxx’. Several thousand results popped up, so Dean went to the first. A video on Pornhub labeled ‘Sweet omega Taffy seduces her best friend Kat at a sleepover’. Dean swallowed and licked his lips, turning his volume down almost all the way and clicking on the video. She looked fairly innocent, without looking fake, which was a feat of its own considering he knew he was watching porn. The other actress wasn’t pulling it off anywhere near as well, especially the overacted reaction to ‘Taffy’ kissing her.

Dean could remember making out with her when she was just a little younger than the 18 year old she was pretending to be on his screen and it filled him with yearning to see her wrap her arms around this other woman’s neck and pull her in for a passionate kiss. He watched a little longer before hitting the back button and started searching through more and more results.

‘Omega Taffy Rose and her hot omega stepmom’ ‘Taffy Rose fucks her best friends’ ‘Sunny Sweets and Taffy Rose Turth or dare’ ‘Batgirl and Supergirl caught by Poison Ivy’

“Holy shit, she’s the hottest Supergirl,” Dean whispered, as he pulled his dick out of his jeans and started pumping it. It occurred to him, as he lazily jacked off and clicked through the ‘Taffy Rose’ tag on XNXX .com, that she was always with other women, usually other omegas. It took him forty minutes of clicking to find ‘Beta Brad Bull wants to know what omega tastes like’.

Not a single alpha in any of her videos, and not a mark on her neck, despite the fact that so many of her omega co-stars had marks that they had failed to cover no matter the makeup they used. And Brad and Taffy didn't go further than oral.

"That's weird," Dean whispered, tucking his dick back into his boxers but leaving the jeans open in a V. "Usually 'mega actresses are getting knotted every other scene."

He clicked off of the porn site and went back to Google, searching 'Taffy Rose alpha'. He found several blogs asking why a porn actress was unmated, some wondering how she could be in this business without fear of being taken by force, and some judging her for doing porn in the first place, but eventually he found an interview with her. He turned up the volume a bit and started it.

"Taffy, you have just burst on the scene and you've been staring in so many films this past year, it's crazy how popular you are all of a sudden!"

"Yeah, it is. I mean, I just started this as a fun way to make some money and now it's a full-on career!" Dean gasped at her voice. It was deeper than he remembered, seasoned with age, but that giggle at the end was exactly the same. That giggle made his heart hurt.

"Well, as long as you're having fun, right?"

"Exactly!"

"Now, I've noticed, and I'm not the only one, that you seem to favor lesbian scenes. Is that a personal preference, a reference to your actual sexuality, or-"

"Oh, no! I love guys. I live for cock, but…” Dean’s dick twitched at that. Why did her voice sound so musical...especially saying something so filthy? “I don't fuck alphas and there's a lot more work for an omega willing to fuck another omega than an omega willing to fuck a beta."

"Now, why don't you fuck alphas? It would seem a natural thing for you, right?"

She looked down, a bit of the bashful teen girl showing on her face. "Um...I just...it's dangerous, since I'm not mated...and it's special, ya know?” She bit her bottom lip and looked back up and Dean’s jaw dropped. “I may be a slut, but I can't fuck some random alpha and take his knot. I've never taken a knot and...probably never will."

"Fuck, I'd give anything to have you on my knot, Y/n," Dean whispered as the door opened and Lisa and Ben entered. Dean scrambled to exit out of the browser and cover the open jeans with his t-shirt. Reality crashed down on him. There was his family. There was his beta girlfriend and her son...his boy whether by blood or not. “H-hey, honey. How was work?”

“It was good. How was your day, Dean?” she asked, walking over to the desk in the den.

“It was-it was a day,” he answered, tilting his head to allow her to kiss his cheek.

“What’s this?” Lisa asked, pulling open the half-closed desk drawer. She gasped and slammed the drawer closed when she saw the magazine. “I cannot believe you!” she snapped.

“Come on, Lees, it’s just a Playboy,” Dean defended.

“‘Just a Playboy’? Dean, you’re living with a teen boy now! You can’t have this stuff! You can’t expose him to-”

Dean scoffed and stood, looking down into her eyes. “Lisa, I promise you that boy knows about porn and knows how to find the good stuff online. My Playboy is probably too tame for him.”

“How dare you? Ben would never-”

“Yeah? Check his browser history.” Dean rolled his eyes and stepped around her, walking out of the house and to the garage. He grabbed the cover and pulled it up just enough to open the door and climb into the front seat of the Impala. He took a minute to let a wave of nostalgia roll over him at the feel and smell of his baby before he settled back, legs kicked out and jeans shimmied down enough to pull his cock out.

He closed his eyes and wrapped his fingers around his base. He could see Y/n in his mind. He could hear her laugh. He could see her smile, the way her eyes lit up when he said her name. He started moving his hand up and down his length as he remembered the way Y/n looked at him the first time he sunk his dick into her.

He ran his thumb across the head and gasped as he remembered her digging her nails into his shoulder muscles, how innocent she sounded when she said ‘I think you can go faster’, the way she whimpered with every thrust, the way she wrapped her legs around his waist and babbled his name, the way she whispered ‘harder’ and thanked him when he grabbed her white wood headboard and started pounding into her like the alpha he was. He wanted nothing more than to knot her, but she couldn’t take it.

She could take it now. He wanted to fill her and knot her and make her scream. He wanted to hear her moan and giggle and gasp and-

His breath caught as cum shot out of his cock, splashing over his hand. He gasped in a breath before another stream of semen left him. “Fuck.” Dean fucked himself through his climax until there was absolutely nothing left for him to give and then he slumped into the leather.

He was suddenly filled with despair. He found her. His omega, the one that got away, the one woman his mind returned to in quiet moments. He found her, but she was in the San Fernando Valley in California and he was in Cicero...with Lisa and her boring, normal life. Lisa and her son that she coddled. Beta Lisa that sent him away when he went into rut, who would never be able to take a knot. He loved that Lisa took him in, nursed him back from the brink of breakdown, but the yearning he had pushed down since he was sixteen years old was now back with a burning vengeance.

And there was nothing he could do about it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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ashdumpsterpile · 4 years ago

Text

ao3

It’s a sexy, sexy day when Beckett gets her promotion to the Cerritos.

She’s been a lower decks officer on the USS Vulker for six slutty years and it’s been the closest thing to paradise that she’s experienced since that time Marvin tried to snort Dorito dust and ended up summoning an ancient wish giving god when he sneezed it out on an alien substance Dr. L’Vertiss was analyzing as a possible cure for the parasites that were infecting the Academy.

Being a lower decks officer meant three things: contraband, causal hookups and constant disrespect of Starfleet Protocol. Everything Beckett wanted in a career. Fortunately, the Vulker was the bottom of the barrel when it came to starships, so they weren’t exactly looking too close to her record. Which was fine by Beckett, who was trying to fly under the radar ever since her mother had demoted her so hard, she’d ended up on a whole other ship, quadrants away from the Cerritos.

Thanks Mom.

So anyway, it’s a sexy, sexy day when her mother calls her, mainly because she’d just gotten out of alien jail and gotten a cool tat out of the deal, but also because she hasn’t heard for her mother in a while and, okay, maybe she misses her just a little bit. Even if she’s probably calling for Not Good Reasons.

Beckett flips her comm open and steels herself to get yelled at for whatever.

“I’m retiring,” are not the words Beckett is expecting. She squints suspiciously at her comm, vaguely concerned that a shapeshifter has replaced her mom.

“No, you’re not.”

“Yes I am.”

“I’m pretty sure you’re not.”

“Beckett—”

“You love being Captain and sitting in the chair and telling Ransom to stop giving himself sexy eyes in every reflective surface! Why would you retire?”

Her mom pinches the bridge of her nose, looking tired. “This is why I wanted to tell you in person—”

“Tell me what in person—”

“—Shaxs is dead.”

Beckett stops walking. Blinks down at her comm. Once. Twice. “What.”

“So is half the crew. This is less of me retiring and more of me…cutting my losses before Starfleet officially demotes my ass.”

Beckett’s day is slowly turning into an unsexy day. “And you’re just letting them!? You’ve been a Captain for what—”

“Beck—”

“Fifteen years and a Starfleet Officer for even longer! They can’t demote you—”

“They can and they will. Look,” Mom sighs. “They’re putting together a new crew as soon as the Cerritos is given the clear. There’s barely anyone left from the main crew who even wants to stay after this mess.”

“What happened?”

“That’s classified,” Mom says, which Beckett takes to mean hack my official report if you want to know. “And don’t go digging for it,” she adds.

Beckett resists pouting, only because the situation is so. Weirdly serious.

“I’m not calling you because of that, however. Ransom is being transferred to the Titan. It’s only thanks to his initiative and Officer Boimler’s quick thinking that we’re even alive right now.”

The sound of the warp core, buzzing in the background, seems too loud, all of the sudden. Beckett swallows, feeling sick.

“Officer Boimler is being promoted to Captain. I’ve recommended you as his First Officer.”

Beckett doesn’t realize she’s laughing until she starts choking from it. A group of ensigns, clustered at the end of the hallway she’s standing in, give her weird looks before quickly vacating the area.

“That,” she says, once she’s caught her breath, “is the dumbest fucking idea I’ve ever heard.”

Mom gives Beckett her Captain™ face.

“I’m an ensign. Lower decks. Bottom of the barrel.” Beckett continues, grinning. “Not officer material.”

“Top of your class. Present in the Dominion War. Only gets demoted because she cares more about people than rules.” Mom gives a smug smile. “Perfect match for the Cerritos.”

There’s a weird, hot pressure in the corner of Beckett’s eyes. “Mom.”

“Boimler has a stick up his ass, he could use someone who loosens him up a little. Pays less attention to protocol,” Mom adds.

Beckett shakes her head, smiling. “I’d give him a heart attack a week in.”

“I’m counting on it. At least think about it, will you? And for god’s sake, go shower. I can see the filth on you, light years away.”

Beckett laughs, but this time it’s real. “Yeah Mom, I will.” Then, “I’m glad you like. Didn’t die or whatever.”

Mom rolls her eyes. “Thank you, problem child. So am I. I’ll take to you later.”

The connection blacks out, leaving Beckett staring at her own dim reflection in the screen.

She does look like shit. Maybe a shower isn’t a bad idea after all.

_____

The letter stays in her inbox for six unslutty days before she finally clicks on it. Turns out, even though Mom is no longer a Captain, her recommendation must’ve meant something because there it is, a nice, shiny, transfer request.

It’s signed Captain Brad Boimler and that is where Beckett draws the line because she is not working for someone named Brad.

Maybe if you had been on the Cerritos, Shaxs wouldn’t have died, a snide voice sounds in her brain. Beckett immediately shuts that voice down because that’s fucked up and she didn’t go through four years of Starfleet mandated therapy to still be fucked up.

(She’s still kinda fucked up, but that’s okay.)

Dad finally starts spamming her inbox—and she really wants to know how Mom got him on her side, they’ve barely spoken since the divorce—so Beckett, with great reluctance, reviews the transfer request again.

It’s bullshit.

“This is bullshit,” she tells Dad.

“I know, but if I have to get one more message from your mother, demanding why you haven’t taken the position—”

“Okay, fine I’ll do it, but only because I want to see why Mom promoted Brad to Captain.”

_____

Mom either promoted Brad to Captain because he was that good of a suck up or because his hair is super distracting. Either way, Beckett is two seconds away from saying fuck this shit and demoting her own ass back to the Vulker.

He walked through the door like a minute ago and she’s already had him pegged. His clothes are neatly pressed, hair perfectly coiffed, and his hands nervously flutter around, as if he’s unsure what he should be doing with them. He can’t have been an officer longer than a few months before he was promoted Captain, that’s for sure. Beckett literally has no idea what Mom was thinking when she gave him the chair.

She waves him down toward her table.

Brad takes one look at her unbuttoned collar, nonregulation boots, and unkempt hair and sighs. “Captain Freeman recommended you?” his voice is disbelieving.

“That’s the word, my dude.” Beckett leans back, eyeing him over the half empty glass of whiskey she’s been nursing. “Captain Brad, take a seat,” she says, in her Serious voice.

Captain Brad sits across from her. “It’s Captain Boimler, actually.”

“Brad’s fine.”

His eye twitches. “Officer Mariner—”

“Ensign,” she interrupts, cheerfully.

Brad pauses. Blinks. She gestures to the single pin in her collar.

“Oh. Wait. What?”

“Yeah, I was lower decks on the Vulker before Captain Freeman emotionally blackmailed me into meeting with you.”

She snaps her fingers at the bartender and gestures toward Brad while she waits for the man in question to process the fact that a lower decks ensign was being offered a First Officer promotion.

It, surprisingly, takes only a few seconds before he bounces back. “I didn’t have time to look at your file,” he admits, sounding a bit frustrated. “I’m usually more on top of my work but—”

“Don’t sweat it, Bradthaniel. If you’d read my file, I seriously doubt you’d have agreed to meet with me.”

He raises an eyebrow. “You kill an Admiral or something?”

“Or something,” she agrees, mind flashing back to all of the redacted and classified sections of her file. The bartender places a glass of purple liquid in front of Brad and refills Beckett’s drink. Beckett salutes him lazily with her glass. “I’m more interested in you. How’d you land a captaincy at, what, twenty-six?”

“Twenty-nine,” he grits out, as if that still isn’t weirdly young to be that high in the chain of command. “How’d you get Freeman to recommend you?”

“Oh, I didn’t,” she flips her ponytail obnoxiously. “She called me.”

“Sure.”

“What, am I not ‘First Officer Material?’” she mocks, wrapping finger-quotes around her words.

He rolls his eyes. “No offense—”

“Complete offense already taken—”

“But you are the least promotable person I’ve ever met.”

Beckett grins. “Now you’re getting it. We got a Bridge Crew yet?”

“I—” he blinks at her for a moment. “I’m still trying to put the rest of the Bridge Crew together, but it’s been insane lining up schedules and—”

“Leave it to me.”

“Wait, what?”

“That’s my job. You manage me, I manage the crew. I’m basically a glorified secretary now.”

Brad looks like he’s seeing an error screen in front of his eyes. “So, you’re taking the job,” he concludes, voice hilariously defeated.

“Someone needs to make sure my M—uh, Captain Freeman’s ship doesn’t blow up.”

“I handled it fine the first time.” He rolls his eyes carelessly, which kind of pisses her off.

She gives him a smile. Knows it doesn’t reach her eyes. “Tell that to the 567 casualties.”

His face goes very pale. An incredible feat considering his already milky complexion. She can’t tell if he’s angry or about to cry. “Shut up. You weren’t even there, how would you know—"

“Yeah, you were there, so why the fuck didn’t you do something?” she hisses. All she can see is Shaxs’ scarred face in the back her head. She’d been a pain in the Bridge Crew’s asses, but most of them had been genuinely upset when she’d been transferred.

“You’re a pain in my ass, but you’ve got guts,” Shaxs had admitted once, looking impressed, which was his way of saying you’re fucking adopted go do 200 pushups.

Beckett has seen a lot of death in her 26 years, but this one hurts because this is her Mom’s family. Half of them are dead and she wasn’t there and fucking Brad was.

Fucking Brad is still staring at her, eyes unreadable, mouth set in a hard line. He snatches up the file and flips it open, fingers deftly shuffling through the printed-out paper documents she’d complied last night. “I’m overseeing ship repairs tomorrow. 0500 hours. Be there.”

“Wait what?” Beckett hears herself say, aware that she’s gaping at him.

“I’ll have to run these through background checks before I can approve them for transfer, and I’d like to meet with them in person before I make any decisions.”

“Dude.”

“What,” he snaps, eyes meeting hers defiantly.

“You’re seriously approving my transfer?”

“Do you not want me to?” his brow furrows in confusion.

“You called me the ‘least promotable person’ like ever! I just like insulted the fuck out of you!” she whisper-shrieks. “You’re supposed to get mad and tell me to fuck off back to whatever corner of the galaxy Freeman dragged my ass out of, not make me your First Fucking Officer.”

“Well I’m not. Congratulations First Officer Mariner, you’re expected to report for duty—”

“Oh fuck you—”

“On the Cerritos three weeks from now during her relaunch.”

Beckett is on the verge of stabbing this bastard in the eye with his own stylus. “But why?”

Brad pauses, halfway out of his seat, hands still clenched tightly around the file. “Why what?”

“Don’t be fucking coy, why are you approving my transfer, you absolute nugget,” she hisses.

“Captain Freeman recommended you.”

“Are you seriously that much of a suck up—”

“The Cerritos isn’t that great of a starship, but Captain Freeman is a good captain,” Brad interrupts. “We went through some real shit together. She didn’t deserve what happened to her. The least I can do is honor her last request.”

And with that, Brad stands up and sweeps out of the bar.

“Dramatic exits are my thing!” she shouts after him.

_____

She’s pissed, mostly because Brad had the actual audacity to approve her transfer, but also because how fucking dare he be an actual nice person?

Okay, maybe not a nice person, she decides, as she crawls out of bed at 4 fucking thirty am. Morning people are hell spawn, but he’s a decent person.

Whatever, it’s not as if she’s going to start liking him or trying to be his friend or whatever.

“If it doesn’t work out, I can get myself demoted in like two days,” she decides, out loud, tying her hair out of her eyes. Her reflection stares back at her, tired.

So of course, Brad is annoyingly awake.

“Of course you’re a fucking morning person,” she mutters, falling into step behind him.

“Haven’t had your coffee yet?” he snips back, eyes glued to his data padd.

She glares at his back, but makes no comment.

By the time Beckett is fully awake and functioning, she’s already dissociated three separate times and had a mini panic attack twice.

The ship is FUCKED.

The primary hull has been completely ripped apart, like something took a large bite out of the side, and both propulsion units are missing. Beckett peaks over Brad’s shoulder and gets a good look at the interior damage.

“You guys ejected the warp core?” she shrieks in his ear. “Dude that is so badass.”

Brad jumps and pushes her off him. “Wha—get off me, what are you doing—”

Beckett snatches the padd away from him and begins to rapidly scan through the damage reports. “Shit, it’s going to take weeks before we’re back in space. What’s the ETA on getting a new core in? Oooh, we should also add reflective panels, I hear the Enterprise is so bright, nothing ever gets done on there.”

Brad snatches his padd back. “Yeah, I think we can pass on that one.”

“You’re no fun.”

“Being a Starfleet Officer isn’t supposed to be fun—although I do find enjoyment in managing and organizing information—”

“Oh yawn, you’re a pencil pusher.”

“Did you just say ‘yawn’ out loud?”

“Do you need your hearing checked, Captain Brad?”

“It’s Boimler,” he hisses.

“Captain Boimler Brad,” she corrects, easily.

He stomps off, all huffy, but whatever. It’s not her fault Captain Brad doesn’t have a sense of humor.

_____

It takes about a month for the Cerritos to get back into working condition. Beckett would be impressed with how quickly Starfleet is able to get her back in commission, except for the fact that, well. It’s Starfleet. They’re great at what they do, even if what they do isn’t so great.

By then she’s already sent her Dad over seventeen furious voicemails and threatened her mother with six different kinds of legal action if she doesn’t “pick up her goddamn fucking comm.”

Mom does pick up her call and she does agree to meet with her.

“This is bullshit,” she says, after hugging the ever-living shit out of her favorite parent. “I can’t believe you’re making me do this.”

Mom rolls her eyes. It’s like looking in a mirror. “Kiddo, I’ve never been able to make you do anything.”

This was probably true, but Beckett needs someone to blame. “He’s worse than you. Or Dad. Mom he likes paperwork. He’s a morning person. Yesterday he asked me my opinion on the Oxford comma.”

Mom makes a complicated face. Beckett suspects she’s trying not to laugh. “That does sound like Boimler,” she admits, sighing. “Please tell me you’re playing nice.”

Beckett decides not to tell her about the whole “I was a bitch to him because I have no idea how to grieve” deal. “Hey, I can be nice.”

“Hmm.”

“Okay, maybe I’m giving him a hard time, but come on! You could have chosen anyone to promote. Hell, you should have picked Ransom, not transferred him!”

“Ransom doesn’t have the head to make tough calls.”

“And Brad does?”

Mom gives her a look that says she knows something Beckett doesn’t. Beckett hates that look. “I think he knows what he’s doing when he forgets he’s in charge.”

“What the fuck does that mean?”

“It means give him a chance before you decided to drop him in a wormhole,” is the dry response she’s given.

Beckett makes no promises.

_____

The Cerritos leaves Starbase 375 on an uneventful day. About eighty percent of the original crew has been completely replaced, most notably, the Bridge Crew. Senior staff is now complied of Officer’s Captain Freeman had promoted before her resignation, but there’s are a few that Beckett herself has recommended. Seems like Brad had actually taken a look at the file.

Beckett takes her seat next to Captain Brad and prepares herself for the madness that’s going to commence from being First Officer on the lamest ship in Starfleet.

The Cerritos has been in deep space for three boring, uneventful weeks.

The only fun Beckett has found in any of it is by torturing Brad. And she’s not even trying! Beckett just has one of those personalities that rubs well-organized people the wrong way. Yes, sometimes she thrives off chaos, and yeah she does things in her own time, but it’s just who she is.

Brad doesn’t seem to appreciate any of her suggestions, calling most of them illegal and dangerous and being all shouty about it.

He’s also a huge stickler for regulations and shit. It’s way, way worse than working with Mom. Beckett’s about to start climbing walls from the sheer boredom of being a First Officer. The only thing she does anymore is sleep, paperwork and fight with Brad, rinse, repeat.

And then she meets Lieutenant D’Vana Tendi.

The first thing Beckett thinks when she runs into the hyperactive Orion is that if Dr. T’Ana had retired along with the rest of the senior crew, Tendi could have easily picked up the mantle. The girl’s a fucking prodigy, mad scientist level of genius.

The second thing Beckett thinks when she meets Tendi is I am way gayer than I thought I was.

“Hey, you’re Mariner!” Tendi chirps, excitedly bouncing up to her. Dr. T’Ana, who had been discussing something medical and boring with the Orion, groans and stomps off the minute she lays eyes on Beckett. Which, rude. Beckett didn’t want to talk to her anyway.

“Oh nice, my reputation proceeds me,” Beckett grins, brushing off her hurt. “As does yours, Lieutenant Tendi.”

Tendi’s cheeks turn a little blue.

There’s an amused snort behind her. “Already flirting with the locals, Mariner?” a familiar voice dryly asks.

Beckett’s mouth drops open. “Rutherford?”

Rutherford, who was messing anxiously with a cyber implant over his eye that he definitely did not have three years ago, grins at her. “Long time, no see!”

Tendi whirls around. “You know Mariner?”

“She used to be lower decks with me,” he explains.

“Yeah, back in the day,” Beckett agrees, examining her nails. “It was pretty badass.”

Rutherford snorts and gives her a look which clearly conveys I know why you were transferred dumbass. Beckett gives him a look back and hopes it communicates to shut the fuck up.

“You driving Boimler crazy yet?” Rutherford asks, instead of spilling her dirty secrets.

Tendi does this cute snort/giggle thing behind her Padd. “Like you haven’t been present for his ‘daily complain about Marin—‘”

Rutherford lightly kicks Tendi who quite promptly shuts up.

Beckett frowns suspiciously at them.

“Anyway, it’s great to see you Mariner!” Rutherford continues. “Congrats on making First Officer by the way,” he adds in a tone of voice that implies that she will be telling him exactly how she had landed the position later.

“I guess my record speaks for itself.” Beckett smirks.

“Uh hu,” he eyes her disbelievingly. “See you at the bar after our shifts?”

Beckett sighs. “I’ll have to pass. Brad gave me so much fucking paperwork to do that I’ll never get a day off again.”

“Look at you following the rules!” Rutherford punches the air. “I knew you had it in you. I guess I’ll see you around!” He hops off the bio-bed and heads off toward Engineering.

Tendi frowns after him. “At least he still sounds like himself, right?”

That’s a weird thing to say. “Huh?”

The Orion blinks up at her, startled. “Oh, you don’t know? He was in an accident. Full year of his memory completely wiped. He remembers Brad, and you, I guess, but.” She looks down, defeated.

“Oh.” Beckett feels squeamish at the sudden emotion present in the conversation. “That, uh, that really sucks.”

“Yeah.” Tendi shakes herself. “Well, enough buffer time, I’d better get back to work. It was great meeting you, Mariner!”

“Likewise, Lieutenant Tendi,” Beckett flashes her most charming grin. “See you on the Bridge?”

Tendi glances back at Dr. T’Ana, who’s impatiently glaring at them. “Yeah, we’ll see about that.”

_____

The next few weeks go by in rapid succession. It’s either very very boring and leaves Mariner missing her life as a lower decks officer or it’s incredibly fast pace with weird shit that leaves her chasing the next adrenaline rush.

But of course most days it’s just Brad yelling at her.

“If you could have your report for Second Contact with the Diququeue’s by tomorrow morning, that would be great.”

“Uh huh.”

“Also, I need you to stop trying to pet J’viv, his culture finds it offensive.”

“Sure thing.”

“Are you even listening to what I’m saying?!

_____

“Officer Mariner could you—what the fuck are you wearing.”

“Oh yeah, the Padroiques gave me this cool jacket.”

“I don’t even—what—Mariner, go take it off!”

“But it’s pink!”

“It’s putting hair all over my Bridge!”

“That’s not hair it’s—”

“Oh my god just get rid of it.”

_____

“What the fuck was that!”

“That was me. Doing my job. First Officer stuff.”

“That was you practically starting a war with the Gorgonvians. Again.”

“Dude, their government is super corrupt!”

“That’s their problem! Stop antagonizing alien Ambassadors!”

_____

“Why would you tell them to go fuck themselves?!”

“They pissed me off!”

“I actually can’t handle you right now. Get off my Bridge and go irritate someone else.”

“Fine!”

_____

“This isn’t working,” she tells Rutherford, snatching at his drink. He gives it up with a sigh and wearily watches her down the purple liquid.

“Maybe start listening to him for once? He is the captain.”

“And that isn’t weird to you? Dude, didn’t he start out lower decks?”

This gets an eye roll out of her usually positive friend. “We all started lower decks. That’s how Starfleet works.”

Beckett decides not to mention that it was definitely not how it worked for her, as that explanation would include revealing that she’s. Well. A Starfleet brat.

“Besides, he’s been a Lieutenant for about a year now and he really handled the Parkled crisis really well. Not that I remember,” he adds, looking a little downcast.

Beckett wrinkles her nose. “Wait, the Cerritos was taken down by Parkleds? No fucking way.” She pulls her data padd out and began tapping away.

“Please don’t hack any mission re—”

“Too late.”

“—ports. Oh shit.” Rutherford rubs at his human eye with one hand. “See this? This is why you’re driving Boimler up a wall.”

Beckett glares at him. “Brad needs to chill out.”

“You need to chill out,” he corrects and then winces. “Sorry, that came out mean. I mean, maybe just try being nice to him? Like what’s the worst that could happen?”

Beckett’s eyes narrow.

_____

“Here, Jen made coffee.”

“If you’re trying to poison me—”

“Why would I poison you?!”

Brad gives her a deadpan stare.

“With coffee!” she adds, for good measure. “I would never defile the gods’ nectar!”

“Ugh, fine,” he snatches at the mug. “Just please stop shouting.”

_____

“I don’t get it!” Beckett rants to Tendi, who’s frowning down at her data padd like it holds the secrets of the universe. “I’m being like super chill for once and he’s still mad!”

Rutherford, who’s doing something cool and science-y to the transporter pad, glances up. “Your version of chill involves way more stabbing than most peoples.”

Tendi nods, eyes still glued to her padd. “Maybe try not challenging Klingons to duels and Boimler will calm down.”

“Uh, he challenged me and then was a sore loser. Not my fault. And I bought Brad a milkshake afterwards to make up for it!”

“Boimler did say that it was unfairly delicious,” Tendi says, pensively.

“I don’t think that was a milkshake,” Rutherford mumbles.

“Point is, why doesn’t he like me yet! Everyone likes me except lame people!”

“So, you don’t think Boimler is lame anymore,” Tendi inquires, grinning at her.

“Shut up, he’s the lamest.”

Rutherford and Tendi share a conspiring look. “Sure.”

_____

So, Brad almost dies. And so do Tendi and Rutherford, because it seems that even though Brad is captain now, apparently the three of them are a tight little trio who’ve been getting up to no good the whole time Beckett was on the Vulker.

That explains a lot actually.

Anyway, there’s some Away Mission nonsense and Beckett just happens to be on the Cerritos because Brad claims that she’s too high strung and that he hasn’t had enough coffee to handle her.

Whatever.

Some shit goes down—again, Beckett isn’t there and doesn’t bother to find out the exact details until much much later—that involves Rutherford and Brad getting infected by some alien disease and suddenly Tendi is dealing with an outright war between the local Camisitites and the Federation and by the time Beckett gets their asses beamed back onto the Cerritos, it’s almost too late.

Rutherford is going to be fine, thanks to his cyborg implants but Brad isn’t looking too hot which means Beckett is Acting Captain.

Fucking great.

It takes her maybe two, three days tops to settle everything out with the irate Camisitite nation and find a cure, but it all works out in the end.

“If you want a Missions Report you can have it after I’ve taken a shower,” she informs a groggy Brad. He blinks up at her from his bio-bed, taking in her disheveled hair, bloodstained shirt, and exhausted expression.

“…cool,” he mutters. “Go away.”

She scoffs at him, dragging a seat up. “I’m good here, actually.”

Brad wakes himself up enough to give her a half-hearted scowl. “Do you ever do as you’re told?”

“Not really, no.” She examines her nails. “Your fault for signing my transfer.”

“So this has all been punishment? Because a good person talked you into a nice, well paying job that I signed off on. I don’t get you.”

“I don’t get you,” she retorts. “Command fucking sucks. It was way cooler when I was an ensign.”

“But you’re really good at it,” he says, surprised. “You’re smart and badass and like way better at everything than everyone else.”

“Wait what?”

“You could have everything! And you’re just wasting it? Do you want me to kick you off ship?”

“Maybe!”

“Well I’m not going to!”

“Why not?!”

He glares at her sullenly. “Figure it out yourself, if you’re so smart.”

_____

“I can’t figure it out!” she snaps, resuming her wild pacing.

Rutherford, who looks like his unending patience is finally, for once, running out, sighs.

(People seem to be doing that a lot around her recently.)

“Figure what out, Mariner?”

“Why did the bastard make me his First Officer?”

“Maybe he’s hot for you,” Tendi suggests, eyebrows wiggling up and down. Beckett shoves her face away.

“Shut up, no way.”

“Just ask him?” Rutherford suggests.

“I did! Like twice! First time he gave me stupid answer and second time he deflected.”

“He gave it to you because he likes you, dummy,” Rutherford says, giving her a friendly shove. “Not like that,” he adds, as Tendi began make kissy faces. “But like. He thinks you’re cool.”

“He thinks I’m cool,” Beckett parrots, unimpressed.

“You are pretty cool,” Tendi agrees. “You like kick everyone’s ass and are super smart and you have street cred.”

“Street cred,” Beckett repeats, trying not to laugh. “Yeah, we’ll go with that.”

“Point is,” Rutherford went on. “He thinks you’re cool. And you know what? I think you think he’s pretty cool.”

Beckett makes a face. “I do not, take that back.”

“You think it’s impressive that Freeman promoted him and it has you all pissy because she threw you off the ship, but you secretly think he’s smart and you think it’s funny that he gets all tied up in knots over protocol,” Rutherford summarizes.

“What are you, my therapist?” Beckett snaps.

“I’m you’re friend. And I think you could be his too if you tried?”

Beckett groans, dropping her face into Tendi’s shoulder. “Fine maybe you’re a little bit right. He hates me though.”

“Trust me, he doesn’t hate you,” Rutherford says, grin in her voice. “You annoy the fuck out of him, sure. But he likes you plenty or he’d have gotten rid of you already.”

“So what do I do?” she mumbles into Tendi’s uniform.

“Go apologize, dumbass,” Tendi advises, shrugging her off her shoulder.

“Ugh.”

_____

She finds him laying on one of the Observation Deck floors, a half-drained bottle of blue substance beside him. Before she can change her mind, she flops down into a seated position next to him. They’re drifting through hyperspace, creating that weird blue effect as their ship speeds past distant stars.

Beckett takes a swig of his contraband, grimacing at the bitter taste.

“I have no idea what I’m doing,” he says, staring blankly out into space.

Beckett feels surprise at his admission—yeah, this man is a bit of a wreck, but he seemed to the type of guy whose contingency plans had contingency plans—but decides not to show it.

“Congrats dumbass, neither to the rest of us.”

Brad frowns. “You always know what you’re doing.”

This actually coaxes a surprised laugh out of her. She collapses backward, laying on the cold deck beside him. “That’s where you’re definitely wrong, dude. I never know what I’m going to do until I do it. Could be committing arson today, could adopt one of those turtle-puppies we saw on Karklon III last week, the list goes on. We’re Starfleet Officers, we have to be flexible about shit,” she adds, turning her head look at him.

He continues to stare straight ahead of him. “I think you make a better Captain.”

Okay, so he’s in a brutally honest mood. She can chill with that.

“I think I’d get us killed in a week,” she counters, truthfully. “I’m way too impulsive to be in charge. For every badass rule breaker, we need pencil pushing stickler, ya know?”

“So what,” Brad turns his head to the side, squints at her skeptically. “Now you want to work together?”

She drops her chin into the palm of her hand, leaning on her elbow. “I’m just saying, maybe I could get myself demoted back to the fucking Vulkner again and maybe you resign your position and become one of those sad sad researchers that get eaten by their own plants and Starfleet discovers your remains six years later when they have to find a cure for a face-eating parasite or whatever. Or,” she continues, before he can interrupt, all pissy, “maybe you need to loosen up, and maybe I need to suck up to command a bit more.”

It’s the closest to an apology as he’s going to get from her.

(He’s been kind of a bitch too, and they both know it.)

Brad turns back to the window—if you can call the entire wall being made of glass a window—and sighs.

“I guess it couldn’t hurt to give it a shot,” he muses—his version of an apology as well, she notes—and then adds, “I can always demote you.”

“Ha! You couldn’t last a day in the chair without me and you know it,” she replies, smugly. “You pretend like you want constant order and everything to be perfectly organized and on schedule, but I know the truth.”

“Really now?” he dryly says. “And what’s that.”

She grins, leaning in. “You’re secretly a rebel.”

“Fuck off.”

“Pffft, I saw your eye twitching during our report to Admiral Travional. You were practically begging me to spill my coffee on him.”

“Okay, I did not tell you to do that—”

“Oh, and that sexy, sexy moment when Tendi punched Captain Lohnersen out? You never once wrote her up for—”

“He was harassing her, I wasn’t going to write her up when he clearly was disrespecting—”

Beckett dangles the bottle of ale in front of him. “Why Captain Brad. Is this. Gasp! Contraband?!”

Brad laughs, snatching the bottle away from her. “I found it in your quarters.”

“And just what were you doing in my quarters, my good sir?”

“I’ll have you know I was dropping off paperwork. That you still haven’t done. From three weeks ago.”

“And you just swiped it off my desk. Tsk, tsk.”

“Confiscated it,” he corrects, still grinning up at her. “For research purposes, of course.”

“Of course.” Beckett grabs the bottle again. Takes another swig. “Surprised you’re still conscious. This shit can blind you, ya know.”

“Yeah, I know.” He grabs the bottle back. “So maybe slow down.”

She rolls her eyes because she has clearly proven numerous times that she can hold her liquor but decides not the start anything. It’s weird, getting along with Brad, but not…unpleasant.

“Hey,” she says, poking his shoulder. “I’m glad you didn’t die.”

His face looks pinched. “Thanks for not letting me die,” he replies, suddenly wary.

She scoffs. “Like I’d let anyone die under my watch.”

Brad sits up. “You mean like I did.”

“Oh.” Beckett blinks at him. “Oh shit. Dude, I was just being an asshole then, I didn’t mean it.”

“But you weren’t wrong. If I had been smarter or—”

“Dude, you cannot think like that,” Beckett grabs his shoulders and makes uncomfortably steady eye-contact. “Even if I had been on the Cerritos when shit went down, I don’t think I could have saved him. You guys were on a time crunch with no backup and I’m surprised Rutherford survived the explosion.”

Brad’s eyebrows furrow. “Wha—did you read Freeman’s Mission Report? I told you to stop—”

She waves him off. “Doesn’t matter. Point is, stop beating yourself up over it. And stop letting assholes like me make you feel bad,” she adds, as an afterthought.

“Only if you stop challenging people to duels in the Jefferies Tubes,” he counters.

“Deal,” she lies. “You should get in on some of those duels, though. You seem like a sword guy.”

“I can’t even tell if that’s a euphemism or not,” he mumbles. “Are we cool?”

“The coolest,” she confirms. “At least until you see my Missions Report.”

Brad sighs deeply and flops back down. “I’m not even worrying about that right now.”

“Good, because I definitely broke like every protocol ever.”

“Of course you did.”

“And I told the Camisitite’s to call me Captain Mariner, First of her Name.”

“Oh my god—”

“And I challenged their leader to a duel.”

“Mariner what the fuck.”

#reblog for the non ao3 users #tumblr reblog #my fanfiction #star trek lower decks #beckett mariner #brad boimler #d'vana tendi #sam rutherford #carol freeman #marinler #first officer au #star trek

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onestarromcoms · 4 years ago

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December 10: “Mistletoe Magic” (Tubi)

Summary: Beautiful meteorologist and Your LL Bean Boyfriend go on a Christmas scavenger hunt. Also, Brad SUCKS.

I would give this movie props for having our leading lady in a STEM field, but I’d have to immediately rescind them, as we never once hear about her scientific work outside of mentioning that it’s the reason she’s so grumpy. Also, “local news meteorologist” is as close to “journalist” as you can get without just being a TV reporter, so it’s low-effort on the part of the writers.

The movie opens on our leading lady Harper, played by Jessica Sipos, complaining about Christmas while covering the weather at a skating rink. This is to establish that Harper is a Grinch who hates holidays, happiness, and cheer. She argues with her sound guy about how people who believe in Christmas magic are silly when he tries to get her to admit that snow is formed by Christmas magic. (This rubbed me the wrong way because, frankly, snow is an amazing feat of nature and science, and Christmas magic should not get credit for it). She then has an embarrassing interaction with a group of adorable white children to establish that she’s NOT Good With Kids, but this never matters again in the movie so I imagine they just included it to confirm her Grinch status. She then has a phone argument with Brad, her coworker/boyfriend who SUCKS, because he forgot that he’s supposed to meet her parents tonight and he’s at work at the newsdesk instead.

Harper gets to her family home by herself and hangs out with her BFF/neighbor Elle. They realize that - gasp! - Elle has accidentally gotten rid of Harper’s family’s traditional mistletoe. I think it’s supposed to be real mistletoe, passed down through generations - does mistletoe keep? - and Harper decides she needs to track down this mistletoe for her family dinner tonight. There’s more conversation about how Harper is a Grinch who doesn’t like Christmas just to hit us over the head with her practicality and stoicism and love of Science, because every adult in this movie but her believes in magic and miracles. Harper goes to hunt down the mistletoe the very next day at the thrift store Elle took it to.

Enter our leading man Luke, played by the handsome Stephen Huszar, who is the manager of the thrift store. (Actually, we learn later that Luke founded the CHAIN of thrift stores he works at and he has a law degree, because having a working-class retail employee as a leading man is not acceptable).

Luke knows Harper from school when he used to be chubby and a nerd. He’s hot now, though, so Harper doesn’t recognize him. She begs him for help finding her family’s magic mistletoe and he agrees to escort her through a wild good chase that has them travel to: his aunt’s house; the Mall to meet Santa (who, as I understand it, is the real Santa); a fake Christmas tree stand (where the characters carry out an elaborate after-school special about how using a fake Christmas tree benefits the environment); and a dive bar. There’s also a montage in the middle of all this where Harper models cute Christmas-themed outfits from his thrift store so she can dress for dinner. Throughout, Harper is getting messages from Brad (who SUCKS) about how his work is a priority and for some reason doesn’t realize she’s allowed to have standards about her romantic partner’s commitment to their relationship.

So Harper and Luke make it to their last stop, the dive bar that is closed for Christmas but for some reason still has a bouncer stationed outside. (Seriously, who wrote this? What reason would he have to be guarding the entrance of a closed bar? Does he live there?)

Harper’s mistletoe is inside the bar and they need to get it - but luckily, the bar owner is there (again, why?) and happens to LOVE METEOROLOGY. Harper’s STEM field becomes briefly relevant in an off-screen interaction where she apparently blinds the bar owner with science enough to convince him to give her the mistletoe.

In one last sucker punch, it turns out it's the !!!wROnG miStLetOe!!!, and Brad dumps Harper in a text (because he SUCKS). Harper gets all snappy at Luke for no reason and runs off angrily, to go home and break the news to her family that she’s newly single and she doesn’t have the beloved mistletoe. Worry not! Luke shows up; he found the real mistletoe; Christmas is Saved; they all agree Brad SUCKS.

Other complaints about this one:

The soundtrack is a terrible mix of made-for-TV Christmas pop songs that would be more appropriate for torturing your enemies.

The only people of color are the sound guy in the first two minutes and the bouncer in the final act, totaling about eight minutes of screentime in a movie that supposedly takes place in a major metro area.

Stephen Huszar overacts so hard I’m shocked he didn’t sprain something.

Spoilers: They kiss, declare their feelings for each other, all is well. This movie is a terrible saccharine odyssey of Christmas magic and cheer, so you might like it if you enjoy toxic positivity. One star.

#mistletoemagic #christmas #christmas movie #christmas romcom #christmas romance #christmasromance #christmasromcom #holiday #holidayromcom #romcom #romanticcomedy #uptv #hallmark #holiday movie #mistletoe #letthebouncergohome

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mesaylormoon · 4 years ago

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The Rocky Horror Picture Show: Let’s Do The Time Warp Again - A Review

With the 41st anniversary of The Rocky Horror Picture Show on the horizon, it no doubt made sense for 20th Century Fox to capitalize on the lucrative nature of such an iconic property. Their 2016 remake of the cult classic would offer old and new fans increased production values with an all-star cast, better set designs, energized music and dance numbers, a more flowing narrative, and a special appearance from Tim Curry as the criminologist. In spite of all these additions to this updated version of the midnight movie sensation, however, it still falls fantastically flat.

Films often suffer greatly if the actors involved are incapable of presenting believable, compelling performances, and this remake employs nothing but terrible actors. Ryan McCartan and Nickelodeon starlet Victoria Justice fill the roles of Brad Majors and Janet Weiss, and they are what absolutely destroys the potential of this version of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Both performers fail to capture the endearing personalities of their characters, and neglect to pay homage to the offbeat charm of their predecessors Barry Bostwick and Susan Sarandon. McCartan’s nervous, stiff attitude is apparent throughout, and contrasts distractingly with Bostwick’s friendliness, confidence, and eagerness to socialize with others. Brad Majors was not a particularly special character, but even in his dorkiest moments, Bostwick was able to convey a laid-back, likable energy for his role that this new actor could not.

Even worse than McCartan’s performance is the acting of his co-star, Justice. Words cannot express how unprepared this young woman was for film acting. This remake presents a terribly strong case for why her career should not have expanded beyond tween sitcoms, as her forced delivery and dramatically flighty behavior does not at all recognize the sweetness of Sarandon’s character. Janet Weiss was undeniably a damsel-in-distress, but in spite of her overreactions to meeting the Transylvanians, she was innocent, polite, gentle and wanted nothing more than a simple life with her fiance. Nothing about Justice’s acting echoes this sentiment, as she opts to shriek her lines at every opportunity and cower behind her love interest. While this behavior is similar to Sarandon’s characterization, Justice is clearly uncomfortable with naturally expressing fear. She always appears to lack direction, looking lost no matter where she is on set, and is too confident in real life to make a performance for a character like this believable.

Laverne Cox, Reeve Carney, Christina Milian, and Annaleigh Ashford play Dr. Frank-N-Furter, Riff Raff, Magenta, and Columbia, respectively. In spite of obvious attempts to respect the performances of the original actors, Carney as Riff Raff is the only person who seems to be trying to properly convey his character without losing the personality expressed by Richard O’Brien. He slithers, gives creepy grins, delivers his lines nasally, and perfectly captures the persona of the original Riff Raff. Unfortunately, however, the rest of the cast characterize their performances by role-reversing. Cox is a whiny, fay flailer who utterly lacks the seductive and suave charm of Tim Curry; Milian submits an overly energized, overly happy performance of the hot-headed, mischievous, subdued Patricia Quinn; and Ashford is hideously miscast as a disinterested Nell Campbell. Ashford’s performance is particularly disappointing, as Columbia is a vivacious, bubbly, and lovestruck girl who is likable in spite of her sometimes annoying behavior. Ashford is purely annoying throughout, pandering to an audience of angsty individuals who would have loved her acting in the 90s. Stanz Nair and Ben Vereen are about as obnoxious as their co-stars, but considering what small roles and little impact they make in the remake, they aren’t worth focusing too much criticism on.

The humor in The Rocky Horror Picture Show: Let’s Do The Time Warp Again is as desperate as the film itself. Instead of allowing hilarity to originate from character interactions or witty remarks, characters will often flail, scream, and suddenly widen their eyes. None of these moments are funny and just make the film seem as if it’s pandering to a younger audience.

While we’re dissecting less significant complaints one might have with this movie, the sexual content is disappointingly erased from this reimagining of the source material. Perhaps this could be considered a good change, but part of the reason The Rocky Horror Picture Show appealed to adult audiences was because it was such a shamelessly sensual movie. The filmmakers were not afraid to show scenes of characters having sex, and audience participation screenings have always featured raunchy references. One could argue that this is a defining feature of the film. Considering the convservative nature of 1970s attitudes, this is definitely a quality that helped The Rocky Horror Picture Show stand out.

However, because the remake was filmed for television, this material had to be largely scaled down to the point of non-existence, and there is little to nothing appealing about characters’ more intimate moments. It’s a bit disappointing considering there are some particularly funny scenes in which characters mistakenly have sex with people they thought were their romantic partners.

The increased budget of The Rocky Horror Picture Show remake allowed the crew to create beautiful setpieces and conduct highly stylized music and dance numbers. Each of these updates added a surprising amount of credibility to the source material that the original did not have. The choreography of every dance is much more complex and engaging than the original, and excites viewers in a way that the first film couldn’t. As much as I enjoy The Rocky Horror Picture Show, the dances were quite basic, employing little movement beyond awkward kicks, unimpressive jumps, and slow steps. The remake, however, requires more physical and challenging demands of dancers, who must be much more synchronized and ready to move at a fast pace. It’s easiest to appreciate when watching the film for oneself.

The songs, thankfully, are all derived from the original movie, but instead of retaining the ear-grating sound quality of decades-past, group recordings sound much more harmonious, and individual singers are allowed to shine as a result of a more carefully chosen vocal ensemble. If there are at least some things I can appreciate about this reimagining, it would be these things.

As much as I would like to continue acknowledging these improvements, I also believe that focusing on the polishing of the singing, dancing, and casting of conventionally beautiful actors is one of the biggest problems with the remake. The improvements that are made in this iteration of The Rocky Horror Picture Show are superficial, showing less concern for the quality of the narrative and characters and more concern for the quality of the “show-stopping” production elements. The cast of the remake are all attractive singers and dancers, but the original actors were not. They were average-looking people in a film that performed poorly upon release. Everything about the first movie - from a critical perspective - was awful, but that was the reason it found such a dedicated following. The source material relished in its awfulness. The actors, their performances, the narrative, the set designs, the songs, and the choreography never endeavored to be masterpieces. Midnight audiences could simply enjoy the community they found by participating in something of a “bad movie night.”

In any other remake, the beautifying of cinematic elements would not be an issue, but The Rocky Horror Picture Show was not meant to be a grandiose work of cinema. It always felt more like creator Richard O’Brien’s passion project - a project that, although it appeared insane on the surface, was a body of work that was not meant to conform to societal expectations. It was - and continues to be - a film that unites midnight moviegoers by the very nature of its strangeness. Audiences fell in love with it because it likely encouraged them to be themselves, unapologetically. The original film even seems to embody this philosophy, as nothing about the story nor set direction makes any sense in the first film.

In spite of my harsh criticisms of most movies, I have to admire how unafraid creator Richard O’Brien was of sharing such incredibly unusual ideas with a massive audience. Given the mass walk-outs he witnessed and how he most certainly knew how odd his film would be, it was a courageous feat on his part to not modify his vision to pander to people who would have wanted to see something different - something that made sense.

This is why an “upgraded” version of The Rocky Horror Picture Show will never satisfy fans. Fans appreciate the original film for silently encouraging them to embrace their strangest selves, and for being an insane piece of work they can enjoy and share with others. This is the reason why it continues to be a sensation of midnight screenings and enthusiastic shadow casts. Most producers of entertainment don’t recognize that inserting their ideas of what would make a movie or TV show “better” often ends up disappointing the audiences they are trying to captivate. If the source material was good enough to earn a loyal following, it is likely because they fell in love with what they originally saw.

The producers of The Rocky Horror Picture Show remake, unfortunately, lacked an understanding of these principles. As a result, audiences new and old were left with a superficially polished experience that disregards the most important elements of filmmaking - as well as what made The Rocky Horror Picture Show so special to so many people.

#rocky horror picture show #2016 movies #movie reviews #remake

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blindbatalex · 5 years ago

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Marcheron #3?

send me touch prompts!

#3 - with happiness

There is this moment Patrice keeps coming back to.

They were playing Arizona, though it may have been Colorado too, or Ottawa. Away, because their uniforms were white. He is sure of that.

They had dug their way out of a 3 goal hole to win in overtime and when the puck found the back of the net, the horn sounded and Brad jumped in his arms, with so much force that it nearly knocked Patrice off balance.

He was so close that his jaw brushed against Patrice's as they spun a full circle. His skin was a little rough and hot with exertion and adrenaline where it brushed against Patrice's face.

We did it we did it we did it, he said, yelled, and Patrice had laughed. If it was an away game there couldn't have been music or cheers from the arena but they are there in his memory, echoing the beating of his own heart, the euphoria that coursed through his veins.

It can't be the happiest he has ever been either -- it was a regular season game and he won the cup and medals, but it feels like it looking back. Brad in his arms, the two of them spinning and spinning as the crowd cheered their feat and music played on.

He wonders whether Brad thought about that moment too. Thought about the feel of Patrice's light beard on his skin, of the arms that held him.

I'm going to miss you, he had said before Patrice's last game (or was it after?). He had that trademark smirk of his on his face, the same easygoing tone, and with everything else going on around them, it was easy enough to ignore that hint of something in his eyes- to grin back and say that he would still call.

It's not that easy to get rid of me, may have been his exact words.

A fire is crackling in the fireplace, lazy and mellow. Snow is falling outside in the falling dusk. Brad would have liked it here. He always loved snow, more than is reasonable. And then Patrice could have asked.

Do you remember?

Did you know?

#marcheron #hockey rpf #my fic #eafay70

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jovialyouthmusic · 6 years ago

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Two’s Company, Three’s Allowed

Boundaries, part one

Queen Lucy Valois Rys is legally married to King Brad Rys of Cordonia and his childhood friend, Drake Walker. How exactly does their relationship work?

This fanfic based on Choices The Royal Romance follows on from ‘Together, Apart. You can read it here; part one, part two, part two a, part three

Disclaimer - some of the characters and locations are the property of Pixelberry. I am just borrowing them for my own pleasure and hopefully others will enjoy it to.

Not suitable for Under 18s

Lucy was feeling much better, and was tolerating food at last. She looked pale but Brad could tell she was recovering. They sat together on the balcony eating breakfast while Drake was at the stables visiting Phoenix, who was due to deliver any day now. It was a source of pride that Drake had managed to get Sultan to sire the foal, and he went down to visit her often. It gave Lucy and Brad more time to spend together. They sat in companionable silence together, gazing out at the terrace and the lake beyond it, Lucy drinking black coffee and eating buttered toast, Brad sipping freshly squeezed orange juice and eating warm croissant.

‘So Lucy’ Brad began tentatively ‘Remember when you asked me to kiss Drake, and you said you’d fulfil a fantasy for me?’ Lucy paused, putting down her toast, and looked at him.

‘I did, and I’m curious to know what you’d like’ He coloured slightly.

‘I’m not sure how you’re going to take this, as you said it was a hard no as far as you were concerned – but how would you feel about using a strap on?’ Lucy swallowed and raised her eyebrows.

‘Are you sure this isn’t something you want to ask Drake about?’ she asked, but he shook his head vehemently.

‘No’ he said simply ‘I’m just curious to try it – unless it’s something you find distasteful’ Lucy looked thoughtful.

‘I’m not sure about the physicality, but the dynamic is interesting.’ She grinned at him ‘do you want me to crack a whip too? I’ve always wondered about being a dominatrix’ He shook his head

‘Let’s not get carried away, for me it’s the physicality that appeals, the dynamic is secondary. I’ve researched it, and I know how to prepare, make sure there are no – unpleasant surprises’ Lucy smiled and reached out to touch his forearm.

‘That is so typically you, doing research into something so – unusual’

‘I always like to be prepared’ he replied. ‘But please, could we keep it from Drake for now? I can almost hear him teasing me for it. He loves being in charge and I’m not ready for him to – well to take charge’ Lucy shifted in her seat.

‘Do you – have feelings for him?’ she asked, her expression neutral, but Brad shook his head.

‘No, not at all, Lucy. You have my heart and my affection, one hundred per cent. If I - do anything with Drake, it’s out of curiosity or convenience. It’s an arrangement, not passion. I’m thinking of you when we – when we have done anything together’ Lucy steepled her fingers, keeping eye contact

‘And what have you done together? I need to know, we said we’d be honest with each other’

‘When you were ill, we had a mutual wank’ he said matter of factly ‘We talked about you while we did it’

‘Where were you? She asked, leaning forward ‘Who started it?’

‘In my room’ admitted Brad ‘Drake came to me after he’d checked on you. We were both horny, and you were sick. It was mutual, we agreed what we were going to do, it wasn’t spur of the moment’

‘Who went first?’ Lucy asked, her pupils dilating, and Brad caught on. He smiled seductively.

‘I think we should talk about this in bed’

‘But I only just got up!’ protested Lucy.

‘And?’ said Brad, raising his eyebrows. Lucy subsided, and he stood, taking her hand and leading her into the bedroom. He went to lock the door before he returned to her, now sitting on the bed. He leaned down and kissed her neck, fingers going to unfasten her blouse. They made short work of undressing each other and slid under the covers, facing each other and grinning, their clothes discarded in a heap the foot of the bed.

‘So’ said Brad, reaching out to rest his hand on her hip ‘Drake came into my bedroom’ He traced his fingers up her side and cupped her breast, lazily brushing his thumb over her nipple ‘He stripped and got into bed with me. Lucy’s eyes glittered

‘Was he – aroused?’ she asked huskily, and Brad nodded

‘Yes, and so was I – I’ve gotten so used to both of us making love to you it triggered me straight away – my little soldier thought he was going to make you happy’ Lucy giggled.

‘He so is not little’ she said, and reached out to stroke his cheek ‘what happened then?’

‘He told me to strip’ Brad left out the fact that he had tried to trick him into doing a striptease – he wanted Lucy to react the right way, so he stretched the truth a little. ‘I did, so…’ he rolled her nipple between his thumb and forefinger ‘We were naked in bed together, hard as rocks, wishing you were with us’ Lucy threw her leg over Brad’s hip and shimmied closer, ghosting her palm over his belly toward his hardening member.

‘Then what? She asked throatily, bringing her head close to his and resting her head on her outstretched arm.

‘We kissed’ said Brad ‘A bit like this’ He gave her a hot open mouthed kiss, but kept going, twining his tongue with hers. She shifted as he did so, rolling her hips and letting her sex brush his length. Their hands wandered, exploring each other for a while until he broke off, gazing into each other’s eyes ‘then we decided to help each other out.’ He explained. ‘Would you like me to show how we sat?’

‘Mmmhhhmm’ Lucy replied, and he threw the bedclothes back. He scooted to the headboard and sat, his legs outstretched as Drake had been and Lucy smiled, sitting up, her eyes black and lust blown. He motioned her closer.

‘Face me’ he said, and she complied ‘Now spread your legs’ Just saying that made his cock twitch and harden even more at the prospect of what was to come, seeing her soft petal like flesh exposed to him ‘closer – put your legs over mine’ She repositioned herself and took her hand and placed it on his length. His voice was husky now as her slender fingers encircled and softly squeezed ‘Drake held my cock - and I held his – you don’t need me to tell you what we did - and we both came at the same time’ He smiled lazily ‘But we can do something more fun’ He reached for the lube which was under the pillows, and coated himself before they went on.

‘Oh yes’ breathed Lucy , and got closer, lifting herself up and guiding his tip to her slick folds. Slowly she sank down to envelop him, and he let his head drop back onto the headboard in ecstasy, feeling her adjust until he was all the way in, no mean feat considering his girth – Lucy was obviously very turned on to hear what the two men had done together. He gazed entranced at her breasts, nipples pink and hard, and she placed her hands on his chest.

‘So’ she said huskily ‘you’re thinking of a strap on – and you don’t want Drake to know?’ He groaned as she rose up until he was almost out, then slowly back down.

‘Yessss’ He hissed ‘I mean – no, I don’t – don’t want Drake to know – for now’

‘How are we going to manage that?’ she asked, starting to set up a slow tortuous rhythm, bending her head close to his so her long dark hair draped over his shoulders and chest.

‘We uh’ he was having trouble being coherent ‘Oh god Lucy, don’t stop’

‘I couldn’t – If I wanted to’ she panted ‘You drive me crazy. The thought of – of doing that to you – that you trust me…’ She moaned and came to a stop, instead making tiny circles with her pelvis, panting softly. Brad reached down and slid his finger between his pelvis and hers, searching out the little nub. She shuddered as he softly circled it, her back arching and pelvis rolling. He felt her flutter around his shaft and then cry out in ecstasy, pulsing and bucking as she came. He gripped her hips and drove up into her, erupting in his own climax until the two of them subsided, sweaty and panting. They held each other for a while before they drew apart, Lucy reaching for the tissues to clean up.

‘So’ she said ‘How do we fulfil your fantasy without Drake knowing – we have pledged to be open with each other’

‘I will tell him, just not right away’ he said ‘How about you come and visit me at the Palace when I go back, and leave Drake here to take care of the Duchy – for two or three days?’

‘That would work’ she said ‘He’ll want to stay here in case Phoenix’s foal arrives. Tell me more about your ah – research.’ Brad looked a little embarrassed, but he nodded.

‘Well’ he said, twiddling his thumbs ‘It’s like when I make love to anyone for the first time – it’s a bit of a stretch. But in this case, it’s supposed to work better if I’ he paused, blushing slightly ‘If I wear a butt plug. It will give me time to stretch – and of course I have to watch what I eat, make sure I’m clean.’

‘Okay, so how are we going to get hold of the – equipment?’ asked Lucy. He cleared his throat and tugged on his earlobe.

‘Mail order.’ He replied ‘Sadly any mail or parcels I get are examined, so I have a mail box that I would like you to collect from on your way to the palace.’ Lucy nodded, smiling

‘Of course. And if you decide it’s not for you – maybe that’s one secret we can keep from Drake’ Brad frowned at her.

‘No, no secrets, we swore that’ He locked eyes with her ‘Is that understood? I’m only choosing my time as to when to tell him, that’s all’ Lucy nodded

‘Crystal clear, your Majesty.’

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