#fearful to find a solution she cant control
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mangotelevision · 3 months ago
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au where at the end of season one before the big battle, katelyn is the one that burnt meteli down. katelyns last act as a member of the jury was the destruction of meteli- the last order she fulfilled to the letter under zane romeave was to burn meteli to the ground and katelyn always followed orders, shes a dog of ok'hasis to the end
she won't say, she won't admit it, but everyone knows. who else on the jury could do such a complete job, who else could leave nothing but ashes? They don't blame her, she was following orders, but cadenza does.
Katedenza angst 🗣️🗣️🗣️
cadenza blames her and yet she loves her, it's what intrigued her about katelyn in the beginning. she needed to know what was going through this woman's head, she needed to know who could burn someone's home to the ground. the traitor. she thought she'd find a soldier, someone proud of their strength- instead she found regret, a deep thing that she loathes more than anything.
to cadenza, the destruction of her home was a casualty of katelyn's cowardice, of her inability to find a solution other than violence
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gravedirtandbriarthorns · 1 year ago
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Apropos of nothing I was thinking about like. How do my Shadowrun OCs feel about killing and I think:
1. Phish has killed people and tends to approach it from a "I dont want to but if it comes down to them vs me and mine I know the choice I'm making" but prefers not to, BUT he also genuinely thinks sometimes putting an end to someone to stop them from hurting more people in the long run is acceptable. He will if pressed or presented with a good enough reason but it's not his go to.
2. Ripper has killed people and strongly prefers not to; shes good at violence but it bothers her to think about what parts of herself drew Shark's attention, and she does her best to stop conflict before it comes to a fight because she knows she cant always control herself. Ripper will fight but she'll hold back out of fear of killing someone until she absolutely has to really let loose.
3. Daisy...I genuinely dont know tbh. I think shes closer to Phishs perspective than Rippers (at least in theory) but I also dont know if shes ever killed anyone before and how she'd deal with having to do so given shes like. A proper corporate citizen who ended up in the shadows to pay her way through school after losing her funding and stuck around because she finds high speed chases exciting. She'd *probably* have some difficulty rationalizing it at first but in the end I think she would.
4. Pandora doesnt care one way or the other. She prefers not to kill people but only because of a mix of like... thinking it's a boring, inelegant solution to problems alongside a kind of feeling like shes supposed to object to it because most people would find it objectionable. And while she enjoys a good firefight shes literally just there because she thinks the bullets flying and the chaos is exciting and fun.
5. Occam generally kills people for money, usually with no questions asked, and his first response to most unforseen circumstances or complications is to start shooting people. He probably has *some* lines but it's mostly just business to him.
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deepestblizzardcomputer · 3 years ago
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What if Marinette figured it out?
Why is that? Well, Season 4 has been digging deeper in its plot along the foreshadow of 'truth & lies' and 'secrets', like Literally, those three keys are hinted through several eposides. Things are getting more interesting,as Ironically thomas said, this season (+ season 5) are the most 'epic' ones where all secrets are revealed. Let's start with Chat Blanc reappearance in Marinette's nightmare.
Sentibubbler
"Look in the bright side m'lady . . ."
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" There will be NO SECRETS between US we be togther. "
In this episode we learn more about her deepest fear, and her concerns of what she did impacting her 'present'. And i Know TONS been speaking about the symbolism of that Line or the FEAR OF MARINATTE causing the return of chat blanc. For sake of the identity issue. But what if it there is more to that? What if marinette/ladybug is scared to share ANY 'secrets' with Chat noir that it WILL somehow cause to that akumatization? Cause her 'Alternate self' wasnt careful enough? Not sure wether the writers meant to add these details of (not sharing any huge informations with chat noir in general to show marinette's character flaw-- yet again she goes on how she trusts him so cant be that sure-) again, she most likely more focused and pressured to think of what may impact on chat noir near future.
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Marrinette has ALWAYS been paranoid when it comes to superhero's responsibilities and extra careful when comes to taking decisions. If she suspected taking the wrong move, will immediately take a step back.
She is trying her hard to be a good and accepted guardian. On the other hand Adrien/Chat Noir, doesn't have much pressure other than being loyal to Ladybug and doing his job well?
Furthermore, why can't it be Adrien/Chat Noir finding out firt?
Chat Blanc
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In this episode, We were told that it was marrinette's 'fault' for this HUGE apocalypse in the universe. She couldn't handle her emotions or wait abit longer for Adrien to arrive, and abused her power for her own gain. I don't disagree but she isn't the only one in the 'fault' here. Yeah, she might made a mistake, but wasn't the reason to push for all this to happen.
I also like to believe bynnix went to her, not she suspected she was the problem. But because she is the girl with solutions. If anything were to go wrong, ladybug would be having the knowledge of.
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". . .But i don't know what it is nor when it's happening. Haven't you noticed anything unusal?"
And judging by her relation with the Adult!Chat/Mini!Chat i don't think she would have trusted him with the mission (not to forget, his power wouldn't have done any help) . Ladybug took the responsibility of her partner's and his father's mistakes.
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Adrien/Chat noir, realizing marinette and ladybug are the same person, knowing how dangerous this knowledge is and how many times ladybug repeatedly said their identities should remain a secret. took the matter with his emotional thinking, though promising he would be 'careful' to plagg, he didn't sit and thought how serious that was. He RAN to confess, in no time, they officially became a couple, he does before thinks. Adrien chose foolishly (idc what thomas say about how PeRfeCt Adrien is) I don't fully blame him though, this flaw actually plays well in his character.
For a 14-yrs old boy who was neglected by his father, locked with a tight schedule with the lack of love & Care. Caused this poor boy to be desperate, not only for acceptances and affections, but also freedom. Ladybug is the symbol for his freedom, he is aware upon seeing her, would give him an access to 'get away' from his 'house'. The fear of his father's controlling that he couldn't stand for, that's why he loved ladybug. She STOOD to someone 'evil and dangerous', he admired her for it.
So, as soon as had seen any acceptance from 'his lady', he went for it, ruthlessly.
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when he ran to save marinette, he again, ruthlessly, transformed publicly to cataclysm the akuma. leading to Hawkmoth discovering his identity, the rest angst goes on . . .
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No need to add on how shitty Hawkmoth was/is or his thirst for power than his son's well. Tha fandom did the job. I also believe because since Adrien/Chat noir is a close source to Hawkmoth/Gabriel it would be hard to make him, alone, have a peaceful life, knowing a BIG secret and being capable of keeping it and all that. (Fuk u Gabriel)
Marinette/Ladybug does well for the job.
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Given her important position, throughout the seasons, Marinette take matters more logically and seriously,thinks before doing . the poor girl is put in alot of pressure, not to forget master Su-Han (furious fu) informed her, he will be watching over her and if there is a mistake done he would be taking the miracle box. Making her MORE cautious. So, if someome were to know the other's identity,its Marinette. Yet, in what way could it happen? Surley before ep25 and 26. Most likely, (19-22)
Besides, We were informed ep. 22 has something big that going to happen. Could it be Marinette discovering Adrien's identity? without his knowledge? Could she connect the puzzles togther and figure what who was under the mask this whole time? There has been alot of reveal's this season, so it won't be much a surprise. would that push Marinette to reveal in return herself to him? I think not
In Gang of secrets she states, her love life can't exist because of her being a guardian, not Lula nor Adrien. PLUS, Marinette is naturally an extra paranoid person. So imagine when she realizes her partner was her crush the whole time? Moreworse, her believing 'their love' was what caused "the end of the world".
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How could she handle this? Distancing herself from him, ofcourse. their relation is slowly growing through eposides (in their civilians forms),imagine if suddnely he notices his friend, 'avoiding' interactions with him? (moreover, if he need company in those hard times with the strange behaviour Ladybug has been giving him? )
Now to the last one
Shadowmoth's Last Attack
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I don't believe, Marinette will go that hard to reveal her identity for the sake of love! That won't make any sense. what is Adrien relation with this as well? If the show isn't just throwing some 'fake spice' for the sake of Audience hype- i would say, she wanting him to stay, cause she needs him as Chat Noir.
think about it, by the time we are nearing the Finale of season 4, and from how far the show is treating Adrien/Chat noir discovers he is just useless for Ladybug, (Some were actually theorizing that He would leave as Adrien but 'Chat Noir' would stay in Paris. Meaning giving up his Miraculous which makes it more NNDND-) so what the benfit of staying? Adding on that, Gabriel's controlling his schedule and taking decisions on his life. No wonder he would do that to make sure Adrien isn't going to disobey him in anyway. So, Why would Adrien try to stand up to his father if there was no use of him anyway? He couldn't stand against him either way. and as the spoiler show, it would focus on Adrien against his father's orders. Or Adrien/Chat Noir against Gabriel/Hawkmoth, literally (if the show gonna make it more intense and yes i mean when he discover his father's identity. Abit much tho xD)
Marinette apologizing for leaving Adrien/Chat noir in the dark and telling him that she needs him. Yet again, i don't know how will this play out, perhaps, Adrien will too find out about Marinette's secret ? And then it would be a cliffhanger till the next season 5. Who knows?we shall wait and see what to surpsies us in the future
Anyway- I apologize for misspelling and any grammarstic mistakes! I am not that professional into writing in "big brain analysis style" though i hope you liked it!
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countessofbiscuit · 4 years ago
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all this devotion
Shaak Ti/Rancor Squad, Mature, 2600 words, 1/2 chapters . . .
Three things are certain in life: death, the Force, and the insistence of a togruta’s heat. Stationed on Kamino, Shaak Ti can now add rain and the dedication of ARC troopers to that list. 
View all tags/warnings and read on Ao3 or find chapter 1 below the cut.
“Are you alright, General?”
The map on the viewscreen expanded. Shaak Ti stared at the dispersal of the Second Army, pointedly, more bothered than she cared to admit by how closely Blitz had chosen to stand. “Yes, Commander, quite,” she lied.
Blitz was one of the more solicitous Alphas, all of whom married intuition with professional pride in a way that said they wouldn’t want the Force even were it offered. He did not accept this untruth. “Lama Su called you mistress three times. You didn’t correct him.”
“There are battles enough, some days,” Shaak Ti said. Tackling the Prime Minister’s insistence on outdated titles was not one for today.
“And you never shy from any.” Blitz hadn’t moved, but somehow his presence grew with his confidence in being right. “You’re very hot.”
The bottom of Shaak Ti’s stomach puddled into her groin. Her stripes flushed. It was the worst thing he could have said. “Excuse me?” she demanded, finally turning to face him.
“Infrared doesn’t lie, sir.”
Shaak Ti felt incredibly exposed. Unfairly observed. She swallowed the impulse to tell him not to flag her with his senors, just as Commander Colt had firmly requested her not to flag them with the Force. Blitz was trying to be helpful. Kamino was their home, their area of responsibility. And although she was trying to be helpful, too, she was an interloper, a stranger whose character and peculiarities needed to be roundly understood in order for them to do their jobs.
And her body was candid.
It was determined to make an honest togruta out of Shaak Ti. She was more than warm. The burn was beginning. The kindling was there, dry and licked into flame by pheromones. The best air-scrubbers in the galaxy couldn’t hide some things from a predatory plains species. She’d smelt the lust on them for weeks, here in this bleached city where sterility was an art form, where nature was scoured clean. But where virility could not be controlled. Her arrival had caused a flurry of activity among the clone staff that had nothing to do with the presence of a Jedi or an outsider in their midst. It was in the unreserved awe of their deep eyes. In the damp patches on their training blacks. In the lingering ache in their wrists. Shaak Ti’s many senses had discerned it all.
Her heat was upon her, and it was inflamed. And she wasn’t in the Temple, anymore.
“Alright. I will own it.” She lowered her voice. “I’m not well, and I'll be even worse for the next day or two.”
Blitz’s helmet canted slightly to the left. He stepped even closer. “What’s wrong?”
How much I want to bite you. “That’s personal, Commander.”
“With respect, sir, we’re in a heightened state of readiness, and anything that may compromise your health — ”
“Command devolves the same.”
“If you expect to be incapacitated in any way, Commander Colt should be informed.”
Oh, please don’t name him, too. An idea was germinating in Shaak Ti’s mind, rooted in biology and matriarchal instincts — and in the kindness the command cadre had shown her when she’d stepped off that shuttle, Geonosian dust still clinging to her robes. Commanders Colt, Blitz, and Havoc had removed their helmets unbidden, in unison. They were the first fresh clone faces she’d seen, not bloodied or twisted in agony. And they were very handsome.
On Shili, she would’ve had a harem to protect and cherish and serve. And who would have served her in turn —
She banished the thought before she flared whiter in Blitz’s HUD.
The Council had sent her here that she might grow confident in her ability to teach and nurture success once again. To oversee a programme she feared rife with ethical abuse. To counsel the Kaminoans on sapient integrity and encourage them to regard the clones as something more than product. She was not here to satisfy herself with her subordinates, singly or otherwise.
She was a Jedi Master. If she couldn’t master herself in this, after all these years, how could she claim mastery of the Force that flowed through her? A Jedi had to rise above base needs — and be humble enough to admit problems and devise solutions with peers. Historically, the solution to this issue involved much meditation and a temporary relocation to a sealed chamber at the distant end of the itinerants’ hall.
Shaak Ti returned her attention to the commander still lingering with unnerving focus. “Fine. I will inform him.”
“Fine,” clipped Blitz. “Thank you, Mistress Ti.” He turned heel and left her gaping at his nerve.
And at the sway of his patterned kama below his belt. And the subtle smell of rain-damp wood he left behind him.
Later, when the ache between her legs gnawed at her brain, Shaak Ti hurried to the medbay to beg soporifics from a droid. A familiar lightness had set into her limbs, as her inguinal organs sponged up blood. Her awareness tunnelled. It became harder to hold onto the serenity of the Force — it was sensitive and slippery like that, like trying to grip a current of water. Existing in the moment, too, demanded great effort. She had to concentrate on exchanging a cold nod with Hina Me, on acknowledging the waist-high salutes of a cadet company, their backs straight against the bowed walls.
Shaak Ti finally reached her room. Tipoca City wasn’t warm, and still she blasted the air cooler in the colorless, compact space, made larger by the transparisteel wall that overlooked the ocean; a meditation stool, Fe’s beads, some cacti from the Temple Gardens — a reminder of rain’s blessing, not its ubiquity — formed the sum of its personal effects. She began to strip with trembling hands.
Maturation brought much relief. Her biannual cycles weren’t as long, nor dangerous; she’d been in the habit of meditating her way through them, though she always crashed afterwards, bandwidth of mind and body maxed out. When that failed, downers, a device, and some do-not-disturb instructions could set her right after a day or three. That would be her method here, where the Force flowed thinly and the air was thick with androgens.
Commander Colt was not told. Not explicitly. As her tool warmed in the nanowave, Shaak Ti fired off a simple message to him: she was seriously unwell, and he was to consider himself in temporary command of the Grand Army stationed on Kamino, along with its reserves and training facilities. She was on comms for emergencies, but was not to be physically disturbed for love or credits.
Alphas were headstrong. They were never satisfied when they’d found the end of a problem; they had to pull it up by the roots with both hands and ask the grass why it grew. She had come to appreciate this about them. Her respect had been earned three, four, five times over by their blistering competence that ran circles around her own sluggish climb up the learning curve.
But when they knocked on her door just as the nanowave dinged, Shaak Ti wished she’d never met them at all.
There were two of them. They had moved in step down the quiet hall, but her montrals weren’t fooled, picking up the mass of their footfalls. The Force practically shouted their signatures. Blitz she knew best: cool and supple, yet columnar, like the limb of some great, unseen god; and Havoc, gritty and shifting, the scree slope of a mountain. Shaak Ti had the disconcerting feeling that they could smell her — not in any conscious way, like she could smell them. Just enough that it reinforced a need to roam in pairs, which they never did. It was Havoc’s shift now. But it wasn’t her place to question their duty rostering, just as it wasn’t his place to come here as shift commander and order her from her quarters. Only the Prime Minister could do that.
“Sir, Commander Colt insists we escort you to the medbay.” Blitz’s voice was full and clear, without the canniness of a helmet.
Shaak Ti frowned. “My compliments to the Commander, but that’s not necessary,” she said, affecting an authority she didn’t feel. She felt drunk. It was a heavy intoxication that sagged in her lekku, not the giddiness that bubbled in her tips after one too many passes at the punchbowl.
The silence was mighty. If they were discussing next steps, it was in handsign.
“We know,” Blitz finally replied. “We’re here to help.”
Shaak Ti stood stunned, keeping her distance from the door. She would not open it. But she called her shimmersilk robe to hand, all the same.
Jango Fett, the Clone Template, their progenitor, had ordered the Alphas to obey and serve the Jedi. That was their prime directive. Shaak Ti wasn’t even sure what oath they’d taken, if any. But she was bound by many things; she’d spent nights committing the Republic Code of Military Justice to memory. Ill-treatment of subordinates and misapplication of service property came presently to mind. If she accepted their help, they would ask all manner of questions and seek her direction and would be bound to comply. It would not be right.
She gathered herself against the want clamoring in her body. “I’ve made myself clear, gentlemen. No assistance is needed. Medical or otherwise. Goodnight.”
Blitz spoke up again. “With respect, sir, we know about your condition — ”
“We may be Alpha planks, sir,” Havoc cut in, “but we can read. And you’re a textbook example of a togruta in estrus.”
Shaak Ti stifled a mewl in her fist. She hadn’t made a noise like that since her feral teenage years. She sagged against the wall. How did they ... ? It wasn’t a secret phenomenon, true — as mundane as any bodily function, really. But they had conspired! They had bored a peephole into her life. For the second time that day, she felt rudely observed.
It was, however, rather rich to be affronted by that, when she’d come here to oversee, monitor, inspect and otherwise snoop.
“Let us help you, sir. Isn’t it better that way?” Blitz offered.
So much better: gorged on pleasure, in throbbing harmony with all life, magnified by her own gifts. She’d done it once, with a clan on Shili during her maturation rites. It’d been almost enough to sway her from a different kind of service, as she’d lain there, an open vessel for every feeling, carnal and uncomplicated.
These men were under no duress, not in this moment. They were consenting, volunteering freely. Outside of Shili, no one had done that for her before, not even fellow knights; certainly no masters, even when she’d reached their ranks. Was it not a honor to the Force, to offer a kindness unbidden to someone in need? It would be over sooner, too: just a standard day, if they kept up the pace. She was well-matured and no longer in the prime of reproductive life. And there was more of them, in every sense ...
Shaak Ti’s hand had slithered between her legs, fingering into her wetness. She didn’t have to imagine how big they’d be. With the height of scientific pride and the depths of indelicacy, Hina Me had paraded four naked clones before her, one of each patented Fett type, bemoaning that she had no sample from their first test batch, for though deranged, the viable half had been remarkable specimens of human physicality. Their statures differed subtly, but Shaak Ti couldn’t help noticing that they were uniformly well-endowed. All eyes front, but only the Alpha clone had met hers, deliberate and defiant. Asking his name seemed inappropriate, and her embarrassment had only compounded with time, to still not know which officer had been made to endure that humiliation.
Had it been one of hers who thickened before her, until he hung heavy in her peripheral — ?
Shaak Ti squeezed her eyes shut. She skirted around her bed to the far corner of her room, under the cooling air duct, and stared out at the roiling deep. The silk glued to her, dampening with her heat. It would be fouled. So much the better, perhaps: it was a strange and shameful gift from Halle Burtoni.
“You cannot help,” she said, more to her reflection than to the men in the hall. What would her peers say? The opinion of the Kaminoans didn’t concern her, but they would surely go red in the fin and sniff at her. “I am responsible for you. As a — ” She didn’t want to say Jedi. It seemed unfair. A brevetship of chance, when they were more capable in many respects. “A representative of the Republic.”
“An administrative detail,” Blitz countered. “We were no one’s responsibility until you came along.”
Heat surged down her lekku. The primal excitement of a threat. “You question my authority?” Her white brow scowled back at her in the pane. Fett might have ordered them to obey, but had clearly said nothing about holding their tongues; they took grumbling and constructive criticism as an act of religion.
“No, sir. We respect it,” said Blitz. “Just as we respect your ability to act responsibly towards us when this is all over. Do you think we can’t do the same?”
Surely this constituted some form of entrapment. But Shaak Ti couldn’t find the logic to argue. Not when she felt like a besh with a body attached. “I cannot ask this of you,” she said. When the silence stretched, she realized she’d whispered it to the waves. She repeated herself, louder. “I cannot ask this of you.”
“You aren’t,” Blitz clarified for the record. “We’re offering.”
Havoc spoke up. “Honestly, sir, you’d be doing Blitz a favor. He’s been rutting into his cod ever since you got here.”
Shaak Ti wheeled round, lekku spinning, feeling the pressure wave of something imminent.
Then came the thunderclap of armor against the door. A scuffling ensued. They were fighting. Something absolutely unheard of in togruta males, and it was not attractive. At the same time, it was also potentially embarrassing for everyone involved in this bizarre negotiation.
If only her door had been locked from without, too. It was altogether too easy for Shaak Ti to slide it open with a flick of her wrist, allowing two clone officers to stumble into her room and out of sight.
Blitz and Havoc clipped halfway to attention in their confusion, shuffling their helmets under their arms. Their pauldrons kissing, their eyes not diverted. They looked surprised — youthful, like two Padawans whose Force antics had granted them access to the larder.
Or maybe that was her.
The room was suddenly so much smaller. Suffused with their scent, too: musky, undisguised, and mouthwatering.
Shaak Ti's loneliness burst its buried dam. She worked in separation, she lived in isolation. Nala Se was courteous, as welcoming as any Kaminoan could be, but she was not a fellow master. There was no community here that she might join. There were the troops and there were the natives with their rigid caste system. She understood a cadre of off-world trainers had lived here alongside the Prime Clone, but his death and the outbreak of the war apparently ended their contracts; a handful remained in the Special Operations wing, but they were Mandalorians — they made the Kaminoans look friendly.
These persistent men had changed everything. They’d just shifted the center of gravity. Shaak Ti’s every thought rolled down into her besh, hungrily. She needed to consume and be consumed.
She let her robe slip, giving in, only if for a night.
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shinycorvidae · 4 years ago
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How Vic and Hiro Ended Up Sharing a Brain Tapeworm
(cowritten with @smilepal)
Part 6 of 6: In Which We Piss Off Our Pseudo-Father Figures
"Please proceed to insert the jack below the ear, although not too deep"
"... auxiliary neurosockets..."
"If I hit a vein by mistake..."
"...end up like Deshawn...fucking try me..."
"I think I have it."
"V! We're at viks, just..."
"... cannot...need...rest"
"Misty!"
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(I got stuck writing this for two weeks and I want to get to the rest of the story SO HERE HAVE SOME BULLET POINTS ✌️)
Vik taking V from Hiro's arms. He moves right into surgery and leaves a blood soaked Hiro to pace and listen to Delamain tell Vik that she’s going to die. Misty tries to convince him to go wash off the blood he’s covered in. Like hell is he leaving till Vs stable. She instead sits him down within eyesight of V and wraps up his torn palm. It’s cyberware, the best she can do is stop the leaking.
Hiro uses his anti-anxiety medication for the first time since he was a teenager. He doesn’t have time for panic attacks, he needs to be sharp, he’s got multiple people to protect.
Vik finally manages to stabilize V. He forces Hiro out of the clinic, V will be fine tonight, he needs to go home.
Hiro goes home to an empty, silent apartment. Watches V’s blood wash down the shower drain.
He doesn't sleep that night.
Hiro returns the next morning with three coffees. He’s not optimistic enough to bring one for Takemura or V.
Not that he’d bring one for the corpo anyway.
Vik is tired. There are dark circles under his eyes and he's slumped over on his stool staring into the distance. Hiro’s gut sinks, and he reflexively checks that V’s still breathing.
That’s Vik’s bad news face.
Hiro hands Vik the coffee and they sit in silence for a while. Watching V breathe.
Vik puts down his coffee and sighs.
“Do you want the good or the bad first?”
“Just tell me Vik”
“She’s stable. I removed the bullet from her head and she’ll recover fully from the wound. She’ll have a nasty scar and nothing else.”
“...but?”
“It’s hard to explain kid.”
“Vik.”
“The item V and Jackie were sent to filch? It’s a biochip, a Relic. Arasakas “upload a dead person” magic trick. But this one’s different, a prototype. Somehow it got slotted into Vs head.”
“What? Why would she do that? That...that makes no sense. Vic’s an idiot sometimes but...she wouldn’t do that.”
“Might not have been a willing choice kid. Might have been a desperate action. Maybe she was just reckless. I don’t know. Doesn’t change the end result. There’s a biochip in her head and I can’t get it out without killing her.”
“What? You can’t just unslot it?”
“When Deshawn shot her, she was dead. Just for a minute, maybe less. Then the nanites in the chip booted up and brought her back. That Relic is the only reason she’s breathing on that bed right now.”
“Fuck. Fuck, she...never mind, keep going Vik. Tell me all of it.”
“There’s only bad news left Hiro.”
“Keep going. Please.”
“...alright. That reboot, the bullet to the head? It activated the construct on the biochip. The virtual psyche of the person written on that chip. Johnny Silverhand.”
“...the rocker?”
“The terrorist more like. He’s...he’s overwriting V. He’s-It’s going to scoop out everything that makes her V and replace it with Silverhand. She has a couple weeks before there's nothing of her left, maybe a month at best.”
“How do we fix it?”
“There’s...-kid there’s nothing I can fix. I can slow it down a little with some medication, keep her a little more comfortable. But I-I can't fix this.”
The floor drops out from under him. No. Not now. She lived, she survived a bullet to the fucking head. A little piece of tech isn’t going to-
Fuck. FUck. Not another one, please not both of them, he cant-
And V. V who hates any loss of control, who’s so sure of who she is. Getting erased...he can’t think of a worst fear for her. A worse torture.
He leans against the counter heavily, the only thing supporting his weight. He can’t even look at her. He failed her. HE failed them both.
Vik's hand falls on his back. He can barely feel it. Barely hear him talk.
“I tried kid. I worked through every possible solution. Nothing works. The closest I got was splitting the engram but its not going to-”
Hiro will take anything. Any deal, any bargain to keep her here.
“Split it. How would you split it.”
Vik just looks at him. Keeps his mouth shut for a beat.
“Hiro-”
“NO! Vik, I refuse to- we won't lose her. We can’t, I can’t-. You aren't going to hold anything back from me, I swear-”
“Fine! Fine. If you split the engram, you might, MIGHT alleviate the load on Vic’s brain enough that she can fight off the engram, partially. Enough so she keeps control. It's a slim chance. More likely it will just buy her time, a couple months, and doom the second host to the same fate. And it might just outright kill her and the second host. I'm not going to take someone off the street and subject them to that. And I don't know anyone who'd do it willingly.”
“...I will. Use me. I’ll be the second host.”
“No.”
Viktor’s no is immediate. He's both horrified and shocked that Hiro would even offer. He watched him fight to survive as a teenager. To see him gamble his life on the slight chance to save Vic...
He won’t. He practically raised the kid, he’s not going to kill him on his own operating table.
Hiro gets right in his face, desperate and angry.
“We have a chance Vik! You're just too scared to take it!”
“It’s a fool’s chance! At best you buy her a couple months-”
“You said there's a chance it’d cure her completely.”
“A tiny one! It'd be like betting on a five year old in a one-on-one with Razor Hughes. Its suicide.”
“If V’s that five year old I’m taking that god damned bet.”
Vik just stares at him. He’s completely serious. He knew Jackie's death was affecting him, but he hadn't realized he'd lost his mind.
“Hiro-”
“I am BEGGING you Vik. I will get on my knees if that makes a difference, PLEASE. If you have an ounce of respect for me you'll do this, its my body, my fucking choice”
Hiro ups the ante at the sliver of weakness of resignation in Vik's face. He’s terrified and it’s making him desperate, making him mad.
“If you don't I will never forgive you, I fucking swear. You will never see my face again. You can’t not give me this chance to save her,-”
Vik's face goes hard. Stony. If the kid is going to guilt him with that, fine. He's an adult and obviously he doesn't care anymore. Let him risk his own damn life.
And. Hiro’s desperate enough, Vik KNOWS, he just knows that Hiro won't give up. He’ll find a different ripperdoc, one willing to do it. And they’ll fuck it up. No one willing to do that would be good at their job. He has to do it. Or put Hiro at even greater risk.
A little part of Vik hates Hiro for it. For backing him into this awful corner. For forcing him to be complicit in Hiro's death. In V’s.
“Alright. Alright. Go change into one of the scrubs, the sooner we do this, the better. For you and for V”
“Thank you-”
“DO NOT thank me for this Hiro. Do not. I don’t want to do this. It’s wrong and I’m pretty sure V would-”
“V lost the right to an opinion when she slotted this thing in her fucking skull in the first place.”
Vik performs the surgery. They both live. He makes sure Hiro is comfortable and asleep before opening up the scans of their brains. Of the Relic, still nestled in Vs head untouched. His stomach drops.
His prediction was mostly right. V isn't cured. Hiro bought her a couple more months, maybe 2 or 3. He's only delayed her death. Stretched out how long it will take Silverhand to devour her. Hiro has connected himself to her and the Relic but in a stroke of luck not her death. The relic isn't trying to scoop him out, but it will put stress on his synapses. He’ll have migraines, nausea, even possible seizures at the end of V’s life but when her final thread of self snaps, the bridge between their brains will collapse. He may be left with some permanent effects but he’ll live. Thank god he’ll live. He mourns for V but selfishly, awfully he's so grateful Hiro lived and will live. He will never say it out loud but he'd sacrifice V, a good friend, if it meant Hiro could live.
Hiro wakes up the next day. He refuses to believe Vik's final diagnosis. He’s bought V time, they’ll find some way to fix this.
He spends the week at Vik's, recovering and waiting for her to wake up. He tries to help around the clinic, but his relationship with Vik has been severely strained. Any conversation is awkward and stilted.
V wakes occasionally, short periods of not full awareness. Murmuring words, clenching her fists, eyes barely opening.
The first time she does it, Hiro's sitting right next to her bed, fiddling with the dismantled pieces of a shotgun to keep busy. He happens to look to his left. He’s shocked by the sight of V’s yellow brown eyes, staring at him lazy and warm.
“Hiro...”
“Hey V. Go back to sleep. It's too soon for you to be waking up.”
“K. G’night.”
A surge of deep want goes through Hiro as he pushes Vs hair back. He wants her.
Ohhhhh fuuuuuck he wants her. Not just as a friend. Or a roommate. Or a want for her to be safe. Oh no. oh nooooooo.
Apparently he’s not gay??? At least not completely. MAybe it's just men AND V. like an exception? Fuck this is bad. This is bad AND weird.
But he definitely wants V in his bed. He wants to know what her nails feel like on his back, her teeth on his lip. The playful look in her warm eyes as she drags her hand down his chest-
NOPE. NO. He’s not doing this right now. V is sick, V is DYING, he’s not- nope we aren't thinking about that.
It takes a couple hours for his ears to stop being bright red.
V wakes up late on the 6th day, Vik is sitting right there. Waiting for her to wake up.
V takes the news quietly. She's tired and obviously weak but her voice only wavers a little. She only begs Vik for a solution once, when she learns she’ll lose everything she is. She doesn't tear up or panic but examines every option she has. Looking for a way out. She can break down when she’s alone. Vik looks like he’s struggling with this enough. He doesn’t need to see her pain and fear too.
Hiro watches the whole thing from across the clinic. In a dark enough corner that V wouldn't immediately notice him. He watches her push down her feelings. Comforting Vik about her own fate for fucks sake.
He shouldn’t be here. Now that she’s lucid she probably hates him for not coming with them. He shouldn't creepily watch her be vulnerable without her consent. But he can't manage to drag himself away either.
Vik shakily wipes his face and delivers the final blow
"Hiro bought you sometime so you have a couple months instead of weeks. But you’re still dying V-"
"Wait Hiro? What did he do? Where is he?"
Fuck. Well now he really can't just sulk in the corner anymore. He comes out, walking up to her bed silently. He has no clue what to say to her.
V doesn't leave him drowning for long. She gives him a small smile, tired and pained but happy to see him anyway.
"It only took me dying to get you to learn to be sneaky, huh?"
A small choked laugh, suspiciously wet, escapes him. Only she would pull a laugh out of him right now, the brat.
Misty helps Hiro move her to a wheel chair so he can bring her home. Vik explains the meds to him too. He can tell her later. When she's not fast asleep in a wheelchair.
She's snoring and her hair is stuck around the handle. She's an idiot. She’s adorable.
Fuck.
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nami-writes · 4 years ago
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*inhale*
OKAY ITS 11:26 PM AND I SHOULD BE SLEEPING BUT I BINGED THE HUNGER GAMES MOVIES TODAY AND ALSO WATCHED MOCKINGJAY PT 2 FOR THE FIRST TIME AND I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT PEETA
*exhale*
okay so first off i just wanna say mockingjay pt 2 is 100% my fave thg movie simply bc of the ANGST
all i could think about while i was watching it was how GOOD the mf fanfiction would be
like,,,,, the descriptions of trauma and pain and hurting and healing and his reasons for being homicidal and the panic attacks he probably has and oh my god im gonna die
like peeta’s ENTIRE character arc in that movie is just. healing from trauma and i literally Cannot i love angst
like?? just think of him getting to 13 and hearing katniss’s voice in that room and his heartbeat spikes and fear floods thru him and he knows something bad is coming and he’s gonna be hurt bc he’s always hurt when she’s involved and he’s not restrained, he can make the first move, he has to make the first move or she’ll hurt him again
or being strapped down to the bed in that observation room, pulling and straining and struggling in his restrains, just trying desperately to escape bc he’s in a building with katniss and he’s scared and afraid and alone and vulnerable and if he doesnt get out he never will
or being taken to the other district where katniss and her squad are, muttering “my name is peeta mellark, i’m from district 12,” over and over bc if he doesn’t he’ll forget again, he’ll forget who he was and who he now has to be again and he cant forget again or the handcuffs will stay on and he’ll never be trusted and he’ll never be truly safe, not when nobody there knows who he is anymore, not even himself
or trying to test the waters, talking to katniss despite every instinct in him telling him it’s unsafe, she’s unsafe, and finnick telling him that if he’s unsure about his memories he can just ask, and it’s such a simple solution but it was so easily overlooked until he was told about it bc the thought never even crossed his mind that maybe they might be willing to help and maybe they aren’t as bad as he thought
or listening to the sound of gunfire from the pod as he crouches behind the wall with strangers he has to trust with his life, but his eyes are glassy and his heart’s racing but he can’t even feel it bc all he can focus on is the gunfire, how he listened to gunfire just like it kill innocent people in the capital, innocent prisoners, some of which he knew but most of which didn’t seem to have anyone and all of which died at the hands of snow and peacekeepers, a fate he was threatened with constantly before and after he sat in the furthest corner of his cell, trying to cover his ears and muffle the guns and the screams and banging his head on the wall in a feeble attempt to die, just die, just let me die already
or running from that black goop chasing them and his survival instincts kick in and all he can think about is surviving, he has to survive, he needs to survive, even if it’s at the cost of someone else’s life, and he doesn’t feel in control of himself at all when he watches himself grab the nearest person and drag him to the ground, throw him into the sea of black to die before somebody restrains him and he’s dragged inside only to be tranquilized like a rabid dog, like an animal, because at that point, it’s practically all he is
or fighting the sewer monster things and seeing katniss being attacked and for just a moment, considering not helping her because all that matters is that he survives this, but he snaps out of it just enough to drag it off of her and divert its attention to attacking him instead and he’s panicking because he just saved her and he thinks she’s left him to die, he can’t keep it at bay for much longer and he’s going to die because nobody else here cares about him, katniss is the only one who’d even bother to try and help him, and then finnick kills it and saves his life but that only makes his screams echo in his head when he doesn’t make it
or running in the underground parking lot(?) and just barely making it and he’s just barely keeping himself from murdering someone again and then he just can’t find it in him to keep going, can’t find any reason to keep going when all he is is a liability because he can’t even be trusted, he can’t even not get someone killed, finnick died because of him and he’s so fucked up he has homicidal urges that he’s just barely able to stop himself from acting on and there’s no point in him going on anymore, there’s no point in him living anymore
or sitting with katniss and asking her to handcuff him because although he doesn’t want to be vulnerable, he doesn’t want to be the reason another person dies and they treat him so well, better than he’d been treated in so long, and it just isn’t fair that what they get in return for that is a murderous, broken man, and he’d rather be cuffed than be a danger to the people who barely know him and yet have been so kind that they’ve kept him alive and haven’t even hurt him at all for how little he contributes
or talking to gale, remembering gale’s history with katniss and that he himself has no chance with her, not with gale, not when she’d obviously choose her childhood best friend over him, and he can’t deny to himself that he’s afraid gale thinks he’s a threat because he’d be completely vulnerable to him if he wanted to just kill him, only to be told that gale thinks the opposite and that he has no chance with peeta, but although it does give him a little hope, it also gives him guilt because he knows gale deserved her far more than he ever would
oh my GOD the potential angst hurts
but it’s been almost an hour since i started writing this and now my headcanons are written down so i’m gonna try to actually sleep lmao
if i ever write this shit its gonna have a LOTTA feels and i am gonna be LIVING for it
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itstimetotheorize · 4 years ago
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Little nightmares: the first lady of the maw, the sin of gluttony, and the true value of the children, part 1: The past (update, due to the events of little nightmares 2 I no longer believe in the seven deadly sins theory)
with the release of little nightmares 2 in 2020, many of us can now assume that the little nightmares world is being set up for a series of games to tackle a much bigger plot. Which is why I feel that its time to figure out just where the story of this world is headed. I have many theories for this series, but let me start off by talking about the “lady” of the maw, Six, what their connection is,  and what its all leading up to. But most importantly, I want to try and make sense of just what the heck happened in the first little nightmares game! so strap yourselves in everyone, cause this is a long one! as such I will separate this post into 3 parts, links will be included to each part.
Now, In the first little nightmares we discover that the “lady” of the maw is revealed to have supernatural powers; she can levitate things, steal the life force from others and even turn children into nomes, telling us that things such as magic really do exist in this world
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despite her deadly abilities the lady proves no match for sixes quick thinking  in their final battle. Near the end of the game, six at last defeats the lady, and finally gets the chance to escape the god forsaken nightmare that is The Maw... ...unfortunately! six gets hit with one last hunger pain and instead opts to satisfy that hunger by biting and eating a piece of the ladys neck!.  The lady quickly dies from her injury and in a bizarre turn of events, six seemingly inherits the ladys deadly powers. Don’t get me wrong, Six inheriting the ladys powers is a nice added twist, since six now has the ability to kill all those that tried to kill her. But as I watched six gracefully make her way towards the exit I began to wonder to myself.....how was it possible for six, a tiny little girl with very tiny teeth, to have the capability and strength to chomp on the ladys neck and leave a fatal enough wound for her to die from!?....unless it wasn't just six who had a part to play in ending the ladys life ...
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Although it may seem like the first game revolved around six and the lady, we are all forgetting the fact that the story had another character hiding in the shadows, that character... is shadow Six.
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shadow six has been seen by mainly us, the audience. Every time six has a hunger pain and begins eating to satisfy that hunger, shadow six appears and watches six eat her meal  from a distance. But what exactly is shadow six? and why is it that six never noticed it was there?
Well let me start off by saying that I, as well as others,  do not believe shadow six is really six, but rather some dark entity trying to take on the form of six. Some believe that shadow six is a representation of her slowly succumbing to evil. Others have even speculated that the little nightmares games have a connection to the seven deadly sins and that this dark figure along with the rest of the staff in the maw, each represent a different sin, maybe, but what if they didn't?
The only other times we see a suspicious dark entity appear in the game is when six is fighting against the lady. Every time six points the tiny mirror in her hand towards the lady, the lady yells out in pain then teleports away, leaving a trail of black smoke/specs in her path, this trail of dark specs is identical to the darkness that surrounds shadow six whenever she is on screen .
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In secrets of the maw when the runaway boy gets captured by the lady, the lady levitates the boy into the air and a cloud of darkness begins to cover him, turning him into a nome.
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When six inherits the powers of the lady, shadow six appears one last time, all be it very faintly (I cant see her in this picture, but its been verified that its there), and when it does, dark specks of shadow begin to surround six with a loud buzzing sound.
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Where am I going with this?,  what if the shadow six we have been observing was never a manifestation of sixs evil side, but rather a manifestation of the “ladys” powers following six around !..  If this is true, then what the heck kind of power is the “lady” using and how is it that it can manifest itself to do what it wants, it should be after-all powers that only the lady can control...unless their not.  what if these powers were never hers to begin with? what if they were original someone elses?
Many people have theorized that the “lady”we see may in fact not have been the original “lady” of the maw. But if she really isn't then who is?. In little nightmares secrets of the maw, the antagonist known simply as “the granny” is believed to be the mother of the lady, and that this granny may in fact have been the previous lady of the maw... until she was overthrown and had her powers taken away from her...by her own daughter!, that daughter would of coarse be the current lady of the maw that faught six.
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what makes everyone say this? well, in the game, as six makes her way up the stairs to the ladys room we get  to see a variety of pictures hanging on the wall. Out of all the pictures we see, 2 of them have been talked about the most. The first is the picture of the lady and what appears to be four other geishas standing next to her, but have either been scribbled out or painted over in black.
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the second picture, depicts a little girl in a yellow dress standing next to the lady
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At first, many of us are lead to believed that this little girl is six. But I, as well as others, believe that the girl standing next to the lady is actually the lady when she was a child, standing next to the granny when she used to be the lady of the maw, so, what happened? 
throughout the maw we can see various pictures, including more bizarre pictures of different geishas, (thank u animators for releasing these)
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and even statues of different geishas
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originally, fans believed that the granny was someone who valued her beauty but soon began to have fears of what would happen to her beauty as she grew older and older. It was then that the lady began to practice magic in a effort to find a way to make her beauty last forever. However, if their really were multiple geishas in the maw then out of all the geishas we have seen in pictures and statues thus far, its likely that the granny was never even the first lady of the maw...if so, then who was the one that practiced magic...who was the FIRST lady of the maw?
out of all the pictures we have seen, I’m guessing that the geisha with the red lips was the first lady of the maw, after all its her picture that’s hanging in the library in secrets of the maw. In librarys, its usually traditional for the pictures of the founders of the library to be hung up for everyone to see. So its possible that the first ladys picture was kept in the maws library as a reminder of who founded the library and the maw.
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it was this lady that originally studied and practiced magic in an effort to find a way to remain eternally beautiful, . However, seeing as things such as eternal youth and eternal life are things not commonly obtained with good magic, perhaps as the original lady grew more and more desperate for a solution to accomplish her goal she began to dive deeper and deeper into darker, more forbidden forms of magic in her library.
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eventually the original ladys search lead her to the one subject that would guarantee her results, demon summoning!.
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Demons, in many folklore and religions, have always been depicted as evil entities who are more than happy to strike a deal and give a person whatever it is they want in exchange for their most cherished and valuable belonging, their soul.
The original lady could have discovered a way to summon a demon and when she did, she didn't just summon any demon. In her desperate attempts to satisfy her growing desire for eternal beauty, the original lady might have caught the attention of one very powerful demon...or rather...one of the 7 princes of hell, who are  better known today as.... the seven deadly sins!... but which one?
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In the game, gluttony had long been speculated to play a role in the maw. Many speculated that each member of the maw represented a different sin... however, what if they all represented a single sin... gluttony. In the game, Six, the guests, the staff and even the lady revolve around satisfying some sort of  hunger or desire. So maybe years ago the originally lady struck a deal with the sin of gluttony to not only give her life long beauty but to preserve that beauty forever
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however, these are demons we are talking about, if she did in fact make a deal with the sin of gluttony there must have been one or two major twists that came along with that deal, if so... what was the twist?. In secrets of the maw, when the runaway kid is sneaking around the ladys estate he comes across the current lady starring at herself through an unbroken mirror, its here that we finally see for the very first time the ladys face...except... we soon realize that despite her appearance as a beautifully masked geisha, the mirror reveals the ladys face to be a horrifically ugly creature ... and yet... something about this doesn't make sense...her mask.
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the current ladys mask does not match her large facial structure seen in the mirror, and its not just her face. Her hands, which  appear small and slender... appear long and pointy in the mirror. If this is true of her face and hands, then its likely that the rest of her body doesn't match either!
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but why? and how is this related to the granny when she used to be the lady?
 If the current lady has a horrific reflection, its possible that the granny and every other lady of the maw before her had a similar situation when they each  used to be in charge, but why?
Perhaps when the demon granted the first lady eternal beauty and eternal life, the demon decided to put a twist to her wish by making it so that her beauty could only be seen by others and not by herself!...the first lady lost the joy of gazing at the beauty she prided herself in having, and instead was forced to look at a reflection that highlighted her true self....her true self being of course... a hideous monster. And it didn't just stop there..
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 in order to accomplish the first ladys deal the sin of gluttony must have decided to posses her! and rather than just stand idly by and let her continue on with her life, the demon forced the original lady to work for it in order to maintain the deal.... by feeding it!
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(picture by Michael Breznau)
since a demon needs souls to be satisfied and not food like other living things the lady resorted to inviting others to her home... then later feed them to the demon inside her! Now clearly, after being pampered and feed, any guests/ customer would try to leave a business, however, the sin of gluttony didn’t want this happening... they had to stay. In order to keep the guests in the ladys establishment the sin of gluttony could have spread its influence to the guests, giving them a never ending appetite that could only be satisfied by staying in the first ladys establishment.
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And when they did, the lady used the powers that the sin of gluttony granted her to suck out the life and souls from her guests...feeding them directly  to the demon inside her.
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Unfortunately, as the demons appetite grew more and more uncontrollable the first lady found herself taking more and more drastic measures to satisfy its hunger.  
With all the spare bodies lying around, the first  lady must have decided to use those bodies as food to expand her business, throwing away any form of clothing and luggage they might have carried elsewhere in the maw. The shoes and luggages of course, piled up over the years until it created a sea of shoes. This was the point of no return... the original lady was now feeding her guests to other guests!
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If the guests were really eating other people this would explain why six never ate any of the food lying around the maw, she knew it was made of people!.
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Having a life where you would have to work endlessly for a demon sounds horrible once you think about it, so then why, why did the original lady continue to do this even if it meant she could never look into the mirror and gaze at her own beauty? ....most likely because the fear of death outweighed every sense of desire to break the deal and face the consequences.
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And while we are on the subject of her reflection, I couldn't help but think back to one small detail in the game. in the game six makes her way into a bathroom that reveals a suspiciously long mirror hanging on the wall.
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when six broke the mirror, we discovered that it was in fact a fake two way mirror leading to a small room with a single chair in it.
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In the firstl ladys desperate attempts to cope with having a horrific reflection she must have had a two way mirror installed in the bathroom so that whenever a beautiful woman guest gazed at herself in the mirror the original lady would be standing on the opposite side... staring at her... pretending to be looking at her own reflection as a way to cope with her hideous reflection.  
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when six enters the ladys residence its noted that throughout the rooms. broken mirrors can be found practically everywhere.
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but as we have seen, not all the mirrors are broken. In the secrets of the maw, the runaway kid comes across the lady staring at herself in one unbroken mirror...which may possibly be the only intact mirror in the entire estate of the lady.
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but why does she have this one mirror unbroken?... maybe after the  first lady discovered she could never see her own beauty through a mirror...she broke every mirror she could find out of frustration...except  for 2. Perhaps she kept one large mirror so that she could come back to it every now and again in hopes that one day she would wake up, look into that mirror and see that she is just as beautiful as she remembered. Years later, when  the new lady of the maw took her place, the new lady  would unknowingly find herself doing the same thing as her mother, and every time they did look into that giant mirror...they would cry...as they realized that they would forever be horrifyingly ugly. This cycle continued over the years as each new daughter took the tittle of “the lady of the maw” for themselves (I’ll get to the second mirror in a bit)
but why would each lady even take on a daughter that would one day overthrow her from her title of “lady”. Why would the daughters even agree to living their life forever beautiful in the eyes of others but never to themselves and forever a slave to a demon inside them....unless....they didn't know?
-end of part 1, continue in part 2 
part 2 link: https://itstimetotheorize.tumblr.com/post/627840226274033665/little-nightmares-the-original-lady-of-the-maw?is_related_post=1
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recurring-polynya · 4 years ago
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saw your tags and I’M BEGGING YOU something about the rukia vs as nodt fight maybe just a drabble however you see fit 🥺🥺🥺
I am sorry this took so long!! Anyway, this ask was in reference to this post about the fears Rukia experienced during the As Nodt fight. I honestly don’t know why I have never seen another fic about this, but if you know of one, send it my way!!
In any case, I don’t usually write dark stuff, but I am good at it, actually, so this one gets a TRIGGER WARNING: Intrusive ideation of the gruesome death of a loved one. Eight times. Probably some spoilers for the TYBWA.
PS: If you want to know more about the time Renji broke his arm in Inuzuri, it’s a shoutback to this.
Rukia is running, her filthy bare feet pounding against the hardpack. She can hear the echoes of other feet behind her, but she can’t tell how many. She skids to a halt, panting, and turns, eyes wide and panicked, ready to count one, two, three, four heads. Four plus her means that everyone is safe.
She is alone.
---
Rukia flinches, waiting for the lead pipe to splatter her brains across the dusty Inuzuri street. But there is no pain, only the sound of bone crunching, followed by a soft grunt.
She has been rescued. Renji, as is his way, has placed himself between herself and the consequences of her actions once again. His arm now hangs uselessly at his side, dripping blood steadily onto the ground. “Fuck you!” he screams at her attacker, who raises the pipe for a second swing.
This isn’t right, Rukia tells herself. This isn’t how it happened.
Hot blood splashes across her face.
---
They stayed too late in the 77th. Renji kept eying the pale clouds gathering overhead, but Rukia thought she could score a few of scraps of food as the vendors in the market were shutting down. Not only was she wrong, but the snow had started falling when they were still a mile north of the Inuzuri border.
Now they were huddled against the bole of an old, half-rotten oak, under a pile of what little brush they were able to gather before the visibility went down to nothing.
Rukia’s brain feels fogged and sleepy. She honestly can’t tell if she’s hot or cold, temperature has become some alien concern. Renji’s arm, wrapped around her, pulling her close, feels heavy, too heavy.
“Renji,” she mumbles. “Renji, don’t go to sleep.”
Her eyelashes are crusted with snow, she can barely see. She shoves her ear against his chest, and listens for his heartbeat.
There is nothing.
---
It is raining, but she can still hear shouts from the courtyard.
“I just want to see her, you flash bastard! I just want to know that she’s okay!”
Rukia tries to make her way to the front entrance, but the hallways of the manor are foreign and seem to reconfigure themselves as soon as she picks a direction. It isn’t right, she tells herself over and over, trying to control the feelings of terror that course through her. I sent him away. I sent him away so this wouldn’t happen.
By the time she gets oriented, Brother is returning inside, his haori dotted with rain. He is wiping down his sword with a cloth that is stained very, very red. “The disturbance is dealt with, Rukia,” he informs her. “You may return to bed.”
---
“I won’t let you take her,” Ichigo snarls, and plunges his sword into Renji’s heart.
The rage melts from Renji’s face, leaving only disbelief behind. His eyes meet Rukia’s briefly, before they roll upward and falls, face-first, onto the street.
Her feet are frozen to the ground, a scream is lodged in her throat, unable to come out. She doesn’t want Ichigo to die, but she doesn’t want this either.
“Unfortunately, that is not up to you,” her brother’s voice echoes in her ears, and suddenly, there is a sword tip protruding from Ichigo’s chest, and an equally surprised expression on his own face.
A strangled sound, not yet a scream, emerges from her throat.
---
Rukia is walking across a bridge. Her thoughts are wrapped up in her own pending execution, when she feels it like a stone plunging into a lake.
Renji is gone.
She grasps frantically for his reiatsu, for a trace, a wisp. The guards are prodding her, yelling at her. Her reiatsu sense is becoming flooded by Ichimaru Gin, walking steadily toward her, smiling his snake-like grin, but she sifts for the tiniest sandgrain, trying to find some evidence that Renji lives.
There is none. Renji is gone.
---
Renji’s body cants forward, he can barely hold himself up, but his grip on her does not falter. Aizen’s shadow falls over them both. Aizen is talking, talking, talking, but his words are just empty buzzing. Rukia is pushing against Renji’s arms, his chest. She’s not sure if she’s trying to get him upright again, or trying to free herself from his grasp.
Just once, she thinks. Just once, let me put my body in front of yours, you bastard, just once.
“Please, Captain Aizen!” she begs, her voice desperate and shrill. “Please, I’ll--”
“No.” Renji’s voice gurgles in his chest. One of his lungs is punctured. “I told you to shut up… Rukia,” he murmurs, and she recalls that he often says “shut up” when he means “I love you.”
Not again, I can’t take any more, please not again.
“I’m not letting go of you,” he curses her, before raising his eyes to Aizen. “I’m not leaving her,” he swears. “You bastard.”
“I see,” Aizen replies. “That’s unfortunate.”
This time, no one intercepts the blow.
---
Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez saunters down the empty Karakura Street. “So, which is it?” he drawls. “Which one of you three is the strongest?”
Renji sidles a step in front of Rukia.
“No,” Rukia murmurs. “No, you weren’t there. You were off getting gored by Yylfordt Granz, you bonehead.”
“Not you,” Grimmjow decides, ramming his hand through Renji’s guts.
It’s not pleasant to watch, but Rukia forces ice through her veins and refuses to look away. It’s not real. Renji lets me fight my own fights.
Renji coughs once. His body hits the ground with a wet smack.
---
The Arrancar, this pulsating mass with Shiba Kaien’s face, levels Nejibana at her, when Rukia feels Renji’s reiatsu storming through the hallways of Las Noches, his footsteps pounding like a heartbeat against her spiritual senses.
“Give it up,” Rukia growls, forcing herself to remember clasping his hand in the desert, making him promise.
“I swear on my sword,” he’d agreed, reluctantly.
“Say it. Say the whole thing.”
He rolls his eyes and sighs dramatically. “I swear on Zabimaru that I won’t die for you, okay, Rukia? Of all the stupid--”
“It’s not! It’s not stupid! I can’t fight all-out if I have to worry about you throwing your stupid body in front of me the minute I start to lose! I’m strong, Renji, you have to have a little fucking faith in me!”
“I do!” he had protested. “Of course I do! I always have! That isn’t why… that’s not… I…”
“It’s not the time for that.” She couldn’t meet his eyes. “But I know why. You don’t have to say it.”
One side of his mouth quirked up in a humorless smile. “Yeah. Well. You got your way. I promised. Do me a favor in return and at least try to stay alive, would you, Kuchiki?”
The promises were real, and Renji kept his. She didn’t then, and she doesn’t now, either.
“Sorry, Renji,” she sighs and throws herself forward onto the trident.
---
Rukia is screaming. She is screaming and screaming and she can’t stop.
Suddenly, there is a loud crack, and As Nodt’s Tatar Foras begins to shatter around them. Daylight leaks through, at last. Rukia has access to her senses once again.
She scrabbles, desperately feeling out with her reiatsu, trying to find Renji. She doesn’t know exactly when it happened that she became perpetually aware of him. Maybe sometime during the Winter War, she spent so much time groping around for him that he became lodged in her head, a half-forgotten song she couldn’t knock loose. Since the Royal Realm, though, he’s been a noisy, omnipresent companion, a rhythmic bassline steadying the tempo of her own soul.
He is halfway across the Seireitei.
He was napping, but he’s waking up now.
Napping.
It wasn’t Renji that came to her rescue at all, but Brother, whom she supposes also has a right to a piece of As Nodt.
Renji is sure to get in another fight sooner rather than later, but at least if he dies, it will be because he wasn’t strong enough, not because she wasn’t. That’s a bit of a weird thought, Rukia realizes, as the paralyzing fear slowly recedes from her body. She doesn’t want Renji to die at all.
The solution is obvious. She and Byakuya will just have to finish this quickly, and then she can go protect that bonehead with her own strength. He will likely chew her out and then she can tell him to shut up.
“Do you still have any fears?” Byakuya asks her, trying to gauge if she has shaken the aftereffects of As Nodt’s spell. “Rukia?”
Rukia adjusts her grip on her sword. “No!” she replies.
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thethirdwheel404 · 4 years ago
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Med Rewatch Series (#5)
S3 e3: Trust Your Gut. From what I remember this is a big one. I just remember this episode title honestly but we’ll see what happens.
-look at that! ava’s just casually in this scene, minding her own business, doing her job! you would never guess that this is a character who would later have a psychotic break and commit suicide.
-that’s really the point i’m trying to make. I hate all those posts where they’re like ‘i hated ava before, but season 4 has finally shown her true colors’ like not even?? no??? we’re trying to prove that that was never even a thing. i want to eliminate the possibility of s4 happening from your minds. nothing from s3 should ever be used as foreshadowing. that’s what the rewrite is about, ava being a good character. ava was never going to commit suicide. she was never gonna go psychotic. that should be ingrained in everyone’s minds.
-anyways, back to the episode.
-connor takes everything like a personal attack. relax
- i never realized how fun stoll was. like obviously not in the story but as a character he’s hilarious. unattached by everyone else’s drama
-awww. this maggie interaction is amazing. tapping sarah on the shoulder (neck actually but whatever) just to say hi. adorable. and sarah is already super jumpy. come on. her anxiety is already setting in. they really gave sarah two huge storylines in the same season.
-maggie... no one else would ever slash sarah’s tires. i mean honestly
-WHY DOES CONNOR HAVE TO CONTROL OF EVERYTHING - honestly ava was just reading off the chart and he can’t even let her do that he has to take over just to say the same things.
-and the way ava just takes it with her smug smile
-she is such a strong character there is no reason she would have gone crazy over connor she literally needs nothing from him.he has not ever had anything that she needed. 
- SHE’S JUST ROLLING HER EYES, SMIRKING, AND SHAKING HER HEAD AT THIS INSECURE MAN ava I love you.
-okay there’s no way i can explain it but after rolling her eyes at connor Ava turns and looks at the patient and instantly her face changes and you can see such pure concern in her eyes?? s4 ava could never (can someone please rb with a picture of what i’m talking about? it’s uncanny and so so sincere.)
- she’s in control of her emotions. she cares so much for her patients so don’t even try to play that card. the only thing connor has done literally since she got here is get in her way.
-AND CONNOR LOOKS AT HER WITH SUCH DISTRUST AND CONTEMPT. TELL ME HOW. this is insane. exasperating.
-and the way she smiles and comforts the patient. i mean come on. she’s just so amazing. AND COMFORTING. if ava really was as heartless as people say, she wouldn’t take the effort to do that. connor didn’t even do that, he just scowls at ava.
-which just proves my point, ava is only ever mean to people who she thinks deserve it. and, the more that I think about it, she’s never really actually mean. sure, she’s blunt and rude, but never cutting. she’s nice to her patients (and I know what you’re going to say, it’s not because she has to be. she’s a doctor, she still wants to help people). but when her patients are dicks, she’s not nice to them. she’s as snarky with as she’s professionally allowed to be.
-like, take this guy. he seems nice enough. he’s funny, polite, comes across charming, so ava is nice and is polite back to him.
-let’s move on.
-why is connor always so suspicious of ava. come on. he’s the one who should be sus. she literally said ‘Don’t worry, Ray, we’ll take good care of you’ and he’s giving her this weird side eye.
-ethan and will being in this board meeting is really adorable to me. like, just, bros.
-oh godddd sarah please relax. sweetie. please.
-sarah fucking tranqed him oh my god
-oh my god noah asking people for help literally shut the fuck up
-straight people are gross. not to hate but how does anyone sit through manstead
-connor literally needs to chill. I know this bit (they’re arguing over menial things in surgery) plays more to them just picking on each other, pulling each other’s pigtails on the playground if you will (i didn’t like that analogy but I used it anyway), but if you look at it, ava was only trying to help connor (suggesting a wider possible target and an easier to handle stitch) and connor took it wayyy to personally. sure the second bit of advise is just poking at him, but she suggested a better spot on the base and he shut her down without any thought.
-and then latham points out that there is no point in arguing, to which ava defers, then connor snidely says ‘Thank you, Doctor, Now, how about from here on out we keep the background noise to a minimum’ and ava just shakes her head, scoffing.
-at this point ava just likes annoying connor because its fun. it’s entertaining. he gets so upset. everyone’s done that, just be annoying for fun (its bad to say but i mean come on everyones done it)
-another point, ava immediately deferring to latham might read to some as her being a suck up but that’s not what it is.
-ava really likes seeing how close to the line she can get. she goes right up to it, but she never crosses it. the same is true with her interactions with other people outside of surgery.
-I really like this story of the girl who passed out and hit her head, and her brother’s a wreck, and her parents obviously think the brother’s a disappointment. and it was finals week so of course she wasn’t taking care of herself. and the brother knew that, and you can tell he cares so much and feels so bad. it’s nice
-complication on the surgery they were working on. ava comes in with a solution (off of connor’s mistake during surgery after not following her advice) but I have a sneaking suspicion that by the end connor will be back on top
-the effort it took connor to say ‘it’s a good idea’ come on man just fucking let it go
-i’m glad we’ve all agreed that connor’s just a dick
-aw look at that she even held the door for him. connor would never
-i don’t want to overly push the ‘med is sexist’ thing but how is it that in a storyline between nat and ethan, characters who have never been romantically involved, they still pull the woman thinks one thing, man refuses to believe it and is right dynamic. i mean come on med seriously. what the fuck is wrong with you.
-the look of annoyance and disbelief on ava’s face that connor hadn’t actually messed up. comedic, but also i get your pain.
-glad that latham sides with ava, ava advocating for a riskier procedure so they could ensure the blockage is removed)
-(something could be said about ava’s high-risk, high-reward ideals. you could even draw the parallel to events in s4 and s5, even though I really don’t want to. it’s an interesting and notable character trait to say the least)
-YOOOO I FORGOT HOW METAL THE PSYCH STORY GETS
-dude straight up cuts his abdomen open and his intestines spill out
-the fear and shock and emotion on sarah’s face make me feel so bad for her
-WAIT IS THIS THE EPISODE WHERE SHE LOSES THE END OF THE INSTRUMENT? IS THAT WHAT THIS IS? i am not prepared to watch an ava bekker breakdown rn.
-the shock on ava’s face when connor said nice job.
-ava actually tried to apologize to connor. well, not apologize but she feels a little bit bad for just how abrasive she’s been to connor. (connor didn’t necessarily have to make it super competitive). Ava said “Look, I know i have the tendency to step on toes. it’s nothing personal”
-and now they’re not arguing and are this close to actually working like a team
-and i cannot believe connor’s big one-liner is ‘Murphy’s law’
-the emotion on april’s face when the girl’s parents won’t even let her brother grieve for her. I feel it. astounding. its so painful omg
-ava: “your optimism is enchanting.” when i was writing earlier I was worried I wasn’t being accurate with her dialogue and making it sound too overly formal but i guess I nailed it. also, this line reinforces how much I love her (so does every other line)
-connor just refusing to give ava anything, no credit, no nothing. doesn’t even give her credit for earning the surgery saying “you may have elbowed your way onto the case, but he is still my patient” (I JUST TRANSITIONED INTO A QUOTE SO SMOOTHLY WHY CANT I DO THAT IN MY LANG RHETORICAL ANALYSIS ESSAYS YOU’RE KIDDING)
-hey it’s joey!
- i can appreciate him so much more when he’s not chasing after reese
-do you remember their first meeting? bickering over who gets the last splenda? (real meet cute amirite)
-dr. charles remarking how all the scientific advances can’t beat human instinct, nice little tie in to the episode title
-ava just smiling while connor waits for her to apologize. she. takes. no. shit.
-i literally hate connor’s face so much. it fucking looks predatory like stop looking at her like that. it’s almost like you were planning her psychotic break
-ava’s cunning, saying ‘we’ instead of ‘i’ when talking about the decisions being made. she’s smart. she knows what to do. She knows how to present herself. (and yeah, a little hypocritical that she said to connor ‘when you fail, I will make sure that it is noted that it was your fault and not mine,’ but like I said, she just knows how to present herself)
-latham: “Dr. Bekker seems to enjoy this discordance.”
-rhodes’ face when changing his mind and saying ‘maybe I do’ when asked if he enjoyed it too - he literally makes the dumbest faces. please. stop. (is it a straight people thing?)
Alright. Another episode down. 17 to go. This was actually a pretty good episode all around. Ava took none of connor’s shit and you’d have to squint to find any sort of romantic subtext in their interactions, which is huge win in my book. reese’s storyline wasn’t too bad, she didn’t go through too much trauma, which, the bar for watching med is incredibly low i guess. This was a really good episode for ava. like I said before, very little romantic subtext, and she had a redeeming quality in the way she obviously cared for her patient at the beginning of the episode.
The main point is something I’ve been reiterating again and again. Ava cares about her patients. Ava is mean to connor because she knows someone needs to put him in his place, and she is glad that it is her.
All in all, this was a pretty good Ava episode. Very happy.
thanks for sticking with it.
-
read the rest here:
Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Extra
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urkpoppsychic · 5 years ago
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Twice lovelife reading update 2020!
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Jihyo 
She feels as if he completed her and vice versa. They are building and growing even more control in their relationship. All those people who testing their waters they will still have the victory to get out of that unnecessary situation. The difficulties became into a better situation it created more balance between her and the boyfriend. 
Nayeon
I see that she is now in a relationship, she feels happy and joyful. She is feeling his inner-child coming to the surface. while she have good memories about him. Both of them or one of them got control or anger issues… she may feel abit overwhelmed by it. but she and her partner share both an creative passion towards another. They are destined to have this relationship. To make this happen. Hint: Pledis ENT
Jeongyeon
I see mood swings and overly emotional. A relationship didnt turn out that she was hoping for.  But also she has struggles to meet someone they click with. A man who doesnt speak about his true feelings to her. cus he isnt on the same page. That will make lack of progress. It is bad luck. 
Momo
Her love life will become pretty stable, where she finally can uncover her blindfolds seeing the truth and not her fears or false beliefs that she had created. that will go away and she is trusting in the universe to take the risk and enjoy it with her partner. with no hesitation. She is feeling loved and secure. A strong connection. With a strong stable intelligent man. (Heechul) They doing it good!
Sana
It saids to me that sana has desires to change, to have a serous talk in the relationship because she is hoping but her she is fearing having faith in it. But she doesnt want to lose her position with him too, but positive change iis on there way. There is progress. The partner is well suited for her. They will make a long-term commitment moving in together and even marriage is even possible in the future. She is wishing to get married with him. 
Mina
She has alots of unconditional love and emotions but she is trying to put that feeling under control. Hiding it, unspoken. There is still the same male energy like in previous readings. things has ended and he is still feeling that this could have been beautiful. searching what is right. He is feeling left out in the cold it. They cant seem to let go of the passion they had and it felt like a burden. 
Dahyun
She may feel bit overwhelmed with her emotions. She is in a honest harmonious relationship the person is someone who wants to make her feel special again like the previous love reading of twice. a new chapter in the relationship has begun, a relationship that is been existing for more than 2 years maybe even longer. 
Chaeyoung
Her partner is not physically together. He taking his time to be alone having a (Me time). While she feels a bit bored and dissatisfied. she is missing the person and is creating some codependency and while fear is taking over her mind. She could sometimes act a little jealous. because Chaeyoung is fearing that he doesn't feel the same anymore. or in the way that he is not investing enough for the relationship. Her advice is that every guy has the moment to charge himself and sometimes they can be withdrawal. He needs his time alone. Not because of her but himself. its time to take some space to balance the relationship and he will feel better. He will explain why when he is ready to reach out. 
Tzuyu
I see disagreements and conflicts within the relationship. They are trying to work on how they build a harmonious relationship. One of them is now taking there time out to be alone and rethink to reflect and wanted to find a solution.  The problem is within that the other is overthinking and is indecisive. So that he or she may taking a pause and not moving forward. Some serious trouble. It told me that even if they got a rough time this is only temporary.
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thelittlehansy · 4 years ago
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What if Hans never betray Anna ?
Very very sad AU end sorry for eventual English grammar errors.
His lips on hers , he still feel the coldness that give him chills.
She was still cold.
He looked at her worried and meet two big innocent blue eyes questioned him. Hans could read people like an open book and he knew what was Anna thinking. Am i gonna die ?
Finally some tears run on her cheek "why it didn't worked"
"i..i dont know" was only what he could said. Of course he wasnt excepting but hoping the kiss to worked. how they could truly love each others after 3 days knowing each others and 2 away from each others. that kind of stuff only happened in fairy tales.
He took blankets that were in the library and wrapped his princess in it. Hans could feel Anna was beginning to shake. It was not a good sign he needed to do something.
Now
Anna was dying in his arms.
Maybe Elsa could help them ? She was after all still on the dungeon but Anna needed an act of true love and Elsa even the winter she didn't knew how to end it.
An act of true love. He think of it.
"Hans i dont know what to do" she cried out. He held her closer in case he could also warm her with the blanket.
"Shhh Its OK my darling we are gonna find a solution " he give her an affectionate kiss on the forehead when suddenly the door open;
"Your highness" a guard nearly yelled
"Her Majesty is gone she has break her cell"
"What ? Find her immediatly " He claimed a little to fast for Anna was extremely confuse as why her sister was in the dungeon of the castle.
"We thought she could be dangerous " he explained himself trying to justified himself to Anna judging the look on her face . Finally she offered her an other smile.
The door open again this time...a strange creature coming in the room that makes hans freak out but instead Anna giggled feeling a little better.
"Anna"
"Olaf"
" Hans may a present you Olaf ! "
"The talking snowman ?"
" yes" she giggled at how confuse Hans was.
" oh so this is you Hans ? My names is Olaf and i like warn hug"
"hum...hello Olaf" Hans replied not sure what to said. he chuckled by how awkward the situation was.
but they didn't have time Anna was dying of a Frozen Heart. He decided to used the fireplace to warm even more Anna.
" dont you have an idea of what could be an act of true love are you sure this is a kiss ?" He asked to Olaf and Anna.
" this is what the trolls said to me when i went to them with Kristoff" she bite her lips she still hadn't talk to Hans about Kristoff.
"Kristoff ? " he asked confused There was a talking snowman with her and now a man...he feel a little jealous at what she just said. Anna has passed 2 days with an another Man.
"i fear that i dont know what love is" Anna said upset. Olaf frowned caressing gently her back.
"its ok i do love is putting someone else need before yours" he explain comforting her
" you know like Kristoff when he brought you back to Hans and leave you here forever"
" Kristoff like me ?" she whispered
"kristoff love her" Hans raise an eyebrow confused.
" woo you really know nothing about love do you ?" he smiled.
" oh he is there !" finally said Olaf when he saw a man and his reindeer coming quickly through the Windows.
" finally maybe he dont like you that much"
Hans and Anna share a look together. in one instant when he realized Anna feet where even more frozen he didn't hesitated.
" we had to bring you back to Kristoff"
he take her in his arm Cary her carefully but at the moment they decided to leave the library the room began to froze. more and more.
" Hans we had to move from here quickly" said Anna panicked.
He took her more firmly and run the fastest he could the ice preventing them to continue. it was everywhere on the floor on the windows.
"Olaf we are gonna jump by the windows you are ready ?" He told the snowman.
the little snowman nodded determinate to save Anna and bring back the most quickly he could Anna to Kristoff. Anna held even more Hans fearing to fall.
finally they had succeeded to get out of the castle and where catch in a intense blizzard and now it was a matter of time they needed to bring back Anna in time to Kristoff. finally after running they arrived at the level of a man he was muscular and blond and as much desperate as them.
" Anna !" he yelled
" Kristoff" he could feel she was struggling to yelled through her almost frozen body;
at the sight of Anna and with the presence of Hans who was desperate , Kristoff understand immediatly the situation. without Anna needed to explain him. he paused his lips against her desperate for his kiss to unfroze his dear Anna. He finally break the kiss. horrified he saw Anna , tears falling on her face still frozen. he kiss her another times , more longer . Anna tears where still falling breaking his heart. no no no it couldn't end like that. Anna would not died not after everything they have done together though Kristoff in his head preventing some tears to fall from his face.
Suddenly Hans saw her. the young Queen of arendelle totally lost and incapable of controlling the mess she had caused. He give a look to Anna and Kristoff who was holding Anna close in a last desperate instant to warm her even thought there were caught in the middle of a blizzard.
" i m gonna saw Elsa she is gonna do something with the situation " he yelled at them
" are you sure she can do something ?" he yelled back
" this is our last chance ! " he scream back and goes see Elsa.
finally at her level he scream through the blizzard.
" elsa you cant run away from this"
"take care of my sister" the snow queen told panicked and broken.
"your sister ? she return from the mountain weak and cold she said you froze her heart i tried to save her but it didn't worked her skin was ice her hair turn white your sister is dying because of you"
finally the young queen fall on the floor horrified by the situation making the storm stopped.
" please do something help her i m sure you can unfroze her heart you froze it ? you can reverse the curse ! "
"where is she ?"
"not too far away ! she is with a blond man who is taking care of her we need to be fast she.."
on this words he froze at the sight of Kristoff and Anna.
Kristoff was crying and the ice statue of Anna was standing right in front of them.
" Anna" scream Elsa in Horror.
he could saw Elsa running toward her sister sobbing in pain at the sight of the ice statue of her sister.
for one instant there was a deep silence.
Olaf , Hans , Kristoff , Sven all watching without saying nothing the queen sobbing on the statue of her frozen little sister.
Anna was gone.
His joyful and enthusiastic fiance was not anymore there.
there was sound around THEM;
the sobs of Elsa
the pain of the citizens.
the duke keep ordering to kill Elsa while she was crying. he could hear Kristoff said through tears falling from his face.
" i should have been here to protect her when she got her heart frozen instead of listening to her and admiring the castle"
" and me i shouldn't have come her and ask to marry her everything of all of this wouldnt have happen"
He put a comforting hand on Kristoff back.
"i m so sorry" he said the blond man give him a small sad smile.
" but no need to blame yourself i m sure you did the best you could to deal with the situation this was out of hands" he smile at him trying to comfort him.
" yes your maybe right"
after staying for a long moment there without saying nothing they moved both toward the castle sad and depressed deciding to think together as a way to honor their little Anna. but there was still an issues. The eternal winter. people where still freezing , they were steel freezing , some little kid had not even passed the 3 last days for the coldness was too strong. at this point there were still all frozen and their fate was to all be frozen. On their way to the castle the two men meet the sad and anxious look of the citizens. they were all condemn to died So they both decided to Regroup everyone on the castle. they passed the whole night trying to warm the people and makes them forget about the eternal winter also questioning them as what will be the best to honor and give a tribute to their dear princess. The only way then have found right know was to asked help from other kingdom or try to crossed the sea.
but by the middle of the night when they looked thought the windows
the snow has disappeared.
its was not cold anymore;
the tree where like before.
they were hot.
the summer was back.
and the little snowman had disappeared.
Kristoff and Hans look anxious and run in the castle in the queen room where Elsa was suppose to rest.
they found the lifeless body of the queen. She was gorgeous as always her pale skin even more pale than always. it was as if she was sleeping but she was not anymore breathing. the queen has been poisoned. last night she was talking about trying her best to makes disappeared the winter and now..she was gone. Someone in the castle has decided to kill the queen. the two man finally decided to throw a big ceremony for the poor queen and Princess. a week of mourning was announce , letter flowers and message were left under the grave of the queen and the statue of the Princess. they had prepare a little oral message in honor of anna and had decide to do the same for the queen even thought they knew her less than her sister.
Days and weeks passed and it was time for Prince Hans to go back to his Homeland not that he was missing being in the southern isles but his father the king had ordered him to go back home .
"So i hope arendelle is gonna be alright " he said to Kristoff on the dock.
Kristoff give him a enthusiast smile
" kay has just find a cousins that can take the lead of the monarchy"
" really ?"he laughed
"Thats amazing ! "
" and the duke ?" Hans asked
" Exile for trying to exploit arendelle and even thought it save us , for the murder of the queen who was suspect to not have done it only for noble intentions"
"good" Hans smile.
They both stood at the enter of the kingdom during one instant admiring the huge big statue of Elsa and Anna holding hands
"They are beautiful " said Kristoff
"Yeah true sister" he whispered
"True sister" Kristoff replied back.
" hurry up admiral Westergaard " he chuckled
" Dont you want to make mad the king of the southern isles " he chuckled
"Story of my life lord Bjorgman" they both burst out laughing.
" when arendelle will see you" Kristoff asked while Hans took the path of his boat.
" humm next month could be possible"
" in time to honor The room of the castle created at the memory of the royal family !" he said happy.
" oh then its perfect !" Hans smiled.
Finally he watch from the distance the boat leave the dock with a feeling of nostalgia. Hans has been a good help this recent days when everything was dark. He looked at the statue of the sisters a sad smile on his face. " Arendelle sisters" he whispered again. He give a last look at another statue next to Elsa and Anna one , King Agnarr and King Iduna one. finally the young men whispered in a last look at Elsa and Anna
" i m really sorry it seems you kingdom is cursed with bad luck"
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gboxventspace · 4 years ago
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and guess what? guess what? that convo came up just barely after she listened to me talk about how im stagnant rn and struggling with that, but ultimately, feel ok with taking a little while to wait out the pandemic before i keep trying to progress. that i feel bad sitting at home (even if im technically working by taking care of Gabe every single night), and she agreed. told me it was understandable and ok that im taking it slow, waiting for a better time to keep moving. and then she launches into the amazon shit.
even earlier, we'd been talking about my issues with self discipline, and how i've been trying to work on them. how, most of the time, i DO try to avoid stressful situations for one simple reason: if there's a better alternative, then why should i choose the harder thing? why should i subject myself to hardship if there is a perfectly viable other option? the vast majority of the time, there is. and SHE'S the one who taught my that, every single time I've ever come to her with a problem.
you're in a situation that's bad? what can you do to fix it? can you change it, or do something else? time and time and time again, she's drilled into me (whether intentionally or not) that the solution to hardship is finding another solution. so that's what I do, whenever possible. and now she's angry, so personally offended, that I struggle to willingly subject myself to stressful or uncomfortable situations when there are clear alternatives?
i'm not opposed to suffering when it's necessary. there have been many times in my life where I've sacrificed for something that was worth it to me, that I saw no clear "better" answer to. maybe not in huge, obvious ways, because oftentimes the things I deem necessary are small; the big things have always, so far, had alternatives. i've been raised in a priveleged
hah. haaaah. literally as i was typing that, she barged into my room and started lecturing me again. dropped her phone in my face and told me to read about an amazon internship thing, just so that i "know its an option" repeating over and over to me about how there are sooo many amazon jobs out there right now.
and then? and then she ranted, about how pissed off she is that i "refuse to do a hard job", that i'm "spoiled and too protected" to refuse such a thing. i just kept my face passive and listened, didnt even try and say a word until she was done, simply saying "I hear you" because I know damn well that's all she's willing to hear right now.
yes, i'm protected, and fucking god damn i have so many issues stemming from my fear of having been spoiled. yknow whats funny? whats just so fucking funny? the only other time shes ever called me spoiled was when i admitted to self harm. when i confided in her that i didnt know how to handle my stress and was afraid i was going to hurt myself further if i didnt get help. her response was just to stare at me and ask, "did we spoil you?". I guess she's answered her own fucking question, hasn't she.
is it spoiled to think i have control? have options? to try and choose a path that doesn't hurt, if i have that choice? she didnt have those choices, so she endured pain, and learned to handle it. i have those choices, so now I avoid pain, and don't know how to handle it when it does come. it's a problem that I cant handle stress, and I KNOW it is, i have been CRYSTAL FUCKING CLEAR about that. how I'm trying to work on it, trying to learn to cope, to gain self discipline, that I am actively seeking help about it. i sacrifice when i need to, but dont know how to handle the fallout, and its a problem. yes. maybe its because im a spoiled, priveleged, immature, selfish little shit. is it my fault? is it how i was raised, or is it inherent? is it both?
is it so fucking wrong to try and protect myself when i can? to not subject myself to immense stress, physical or emotional, if there's a perfectly viable alternative? am i selfish because I'm unwilling to suffer simply for the principle of it?
sometimes i want to join a mission or something, get sent out to a third world country where i dont have a choice. when the only option is discomfort, but it's for a good cause, where i can learn by immersion to handle stress and discomfort while also doing something worthwhile. but then i hear about how missions are just modern day colonialism, spreading religion where its unwelcome whilst stealing local jobs and opportunities. "saving" people who dont need or want to be saved. and its not like id even be going with the main objective of "saving", I'd be going bc im selfish and so fucking privileged that the only way i can honestly experience harsh living conditions is by going out of my way to seek them out. otherwise i can always just backtrack and go to my comfy home with my loving family where i can afford to sit on my ass and be selfish and have little to no repercussions.
i make myself sick. and its over things i didnt even choose. does that make it better or worse?
9/12/20 6:04pm
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curieminery96 · 4 years ago
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my-creative-hell · 5 years ago
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Cult (Yan Rose au)
The forest around Grave is eerily silent as she moves, attempting to find some scraps for a new project, the echoing silence spurring her to walk faster past the clustered and dark trees littered throughout. As she moves, leaves crunching beneath her feet, small lights seem to appear, wrapped around some of the trees as she approaches them, though the forest is otherwise deserted, not many even wanting to go inside of it.
Frowning in confusion and fear, Grave’s footsteps slow as she focuses on the lights, which seem to lead further into the forest, towards something hidden within.
Glowing dimly in concern, Grave pushes herself forward, noises beginning to echo within the forest as she solemn shapes of small buildings come into vision in the distance.
Halting her steps, Grave debates turning back as she stares into the looming forest, her glow brightening softly as she see’s someone hanging lights on the trees ahead of her, a girl that looks to be her own age.
Feeling scared at the sight, Grave squeaks softly as she attempts to stop glowing, though her efforts don’t work as the girl pauses her work, looking around herself as she frowns, perplexed. Grave backs away slowly, glowing brighter as she begins to feel warm in panic.
“…Who are you?” The girls voice is sharp and cold as she spots Grave, watching her with a keen gaze.
“I’m…” Slowing her movement, Grave quickly thinks of a fake name, unwilling to reveal her real one. “Kayla. Who are you?” She returns the question.
“Rose. You shouldn’t be over here, if you get caught there will be a lot of trouble with the others.” The girl explains, a frown creasing her forehead.
“Y-Yeah, that’s a great idea…” Grave nods, smiling nervously as she starts to walk away, feet desperate to fly across the soil.
“They especially wont be happy if you interrupt the ceremony.” Rose comments, moving away from the trees as she finishes wrapping them in lights.
“Oh… I-I- definitely wouldn’t wanna do that.” Grave agrees, trying to control her panicked glowing as Rose watchers her walk away, Grave able to see a scar stretching across her nose, pronounced and deep looking despite being healed over.
“Well um… it was nice talking to you. Bye!” Frowning at the scar, Grave buzzes softly as she begins to run out of the forest, Rose waving silently before moving further into the trees towards the buildings.
Despite running away, something twists in Grave’s gut after a while, urging her to go back as something feels very wrong, a thick atmosphere hanging over the forest as she turns back, able to see that Rose is no longer by the trees as she returns, the buildings further back lit up.
Feeling worry twist inside of her, Grave moves closer, entering the compound as she begins to hear noises coming out of a large hall like structure in the centre of the area, a lot of people seemingly inside of it.
Frowning, Grave glows softly in distress as she moves closer, fiddling with her hands in an effort to calm down as she hears strange sounding prayers coming from the building, sounding almost inhuman as she peeks inside, the people she can see kneeling down, their eyes closed.
Frowning more, Grave begins to think of possible solutions as she peeks inside, able to see a main, priest like person speaking at the front of the hall, an alter behind him with Rose laid out on top of it.
Her eyes focused on Rose, Grave bursts into the hall in concern and anger, many people turning to look at hr in shock as the Priests brow furrows, clearly displeased.
Glowing angrily, Grave storms over to the priest quickly, a solid punch being landed in his face, causing him to fall down.
“Who are you to interrupt the ceremony of the marked?! The beast must be cleansed!” He screeches angrily, sitting up on the floor as he glares daggers into Grave.
“I don’t have time for your bullshit, okay?” Grave’s voice is harsh as she gently picks Rose up off of the alter, holding onto her unconscious body carefully.
“You can’t stop what has been done! You’ll awaken hell if you do!” The man continues, pulling himself off of the ground.
“Bet.” Grave responds, smiling as she laughs, clipping outside the hall as the man runs outside.
“The devil spawn is already dying, don’t think you can save it.” He warns, voice harsh and cold.
“Dude, stop wasting your time trying to talk to me. Its not gonna help!” Grave counters, starting to run away from the compound as the man walks back inside the hall, leaving her alone.
Glowing as she runs, Grave presses a gentle kiss to Rose, hoping to heal whatever they had done to her. Rose coughs quietly in response, writhing slightly in Grave arms despite still being unconscious.
Frowning at that, Grave quickens her step as Rose skin grows paler, her breathing sounding clogged and sickly as she is carried, making Grave buzz softly in concern.
Feeling worried, Grave plants another healing kiss onto Rose as she moves quicker, Rose seeming slightly better as she presses into Grave, though her skin is still sickly in appearance.
Smiling, Grave clips through the doors to her home, Rose whining softly at the change in environment, her mind confused and scrambled as she hangs limp in Grave’s arms.
Gently, Grave places her down on the couch as she turns on her warm lamp, wandering off to get some blankets as Rose relaxes slightly, curling up into a ball.
Re-entering the room with two soft blankets, Grave drapes them gently over Rose as she hums, seemingly content as Grave smiles down at her, sitting on the floor to turn on the TV as Rose coughs softly.
Feeling concerned, Grave looks at Rose quietly, trying to smile despite her worry as Rose stirs slightly, feeling sick.
Frowning, Grave glows softly in concern as Rose opens her eyes, looking groggy and disoriented as she looks at her.
Feeling herself frown more, Grave fiddles with her hands in an effort to calm herself as Rose looks at her, seeming confused.
“Hi…” Waving slowly, Grave tries her best to force a smile as Rose hums softly, looking out of it as she turns to face her.
Looking down at her hands, Grave glows softly as she tries to think of something to say, Rose reaching for her gently in her disorientated state.
Smiling gently, Grave carefully takes Rose’s hand in her own, feeling slightly better.
“Where?…” Rose questions, her voice quiet and dry as she frowns in disoriented confusion.
“My house!” Grave explains, glowing softly as she keeps her voice gentle, Rose frowning more.
“Why? Ceremony… not supposed to leave…” Rose mumbles, trying to get up off of the couch, feeling confused and concerned.
“They were hurting you… that isn’t good.” Grave argues, frowning softly in concern as she watches Rose.
“Was the point…” Rose explains quietly, unsteady on her feet as she tries to stand up from the couch.
“But… that’s not good?” Grave continues, holding Rose up gently to prevent her from falling as she feels confusion flow through her.
“I’m marked… cant stay around.” Rose explains quietly, leaning into Grave as she tries to stand.
“…I want you to, though.” Grave explains, looking down at her feet as she feels anger and concern mixing inside of her.
“…Why? Marked don’t bring anything good.” Rose questions, frowning softly as she questions Grave.
“Because I just do…” Grave continues, unsure of how to explain it as she glows softly.
“Dangerous…” Rose’s voice is quiet as she leans into Grave, trying to keep herself awake.
“No, you’re not…” Grave counters, shaking her head as she looks down at Rose, smiling softly in an attempt to comfort her.
“They said I got poisoned…” Rose explains, leaning on Grave heavily as her exhaustion grows.
“Oh no…” Grave frowns, glowing in concern as she holds Rose gently, feeling anger at the ones who had done this.
“I’m tired…” Rose admits quietly, her voice soft and exhausted as she leans into Grave.
“Wanna sleep in my room? I-It’s more comfy than a couch.” Grave offers, Rose nodding in response as she clings onto Grave gently. Gently picking her up, Grave moves her up stairs into her room. “Is r o o m.” She states softly.
Placing Rose down gently on the bed, Grave lays down beside her, wrapping her in an embrace as Rose curls into her. Gently, Grave strokes through Rose’s hair as she closes her eyes, being dragged closer and closer to sleep.
Smiling, Grave continues to run her fingers through Rose’s hair as she nuzzles into her, unused to the comforting and soft touch and wanting more of it. Smiling, Grave follows along, falling asleep comfortably beside Rose in the bed.
 Waking up the next morning, Grave smiles sleepily as she curls into a ball, Rose snuggled into her softly, enjoying the positive contact between them.
Squeaking softly, Grave keeps her eyes closed as Rose shifts, snuggling further into her in her sleep to get warmer.
Glowing softly and warming herself up, Grave holds Rose closer to her, hearing her hum at the soothing touch as she sleeps.
Gently, Grave presses a kiss to Rose’s forehead as she leans into her, sleeping calmly as she is held.
Squeaking happily, Grave litters Rose’s forehead with more kisses as she stirs slightly, latching onto Grave gently.
Blushing, Grave pulls Rose in for a cuddle as she squeaks in surprise, her sleep filled mind not expecting the sudden shift.
Though she tries not to, a quiet giggle escapes Grave as Rose stirs more, a quiet whine coming from her as her brain lags behind, not comprehending the situation fully.
Frowning slightly, Grave feels a small wave of concern go through her as Rose curls into her, seemingly unsure of what is happening around her.
In an attempt to comfort Rose slightly, Grave runs her fingers through her hair as Rose flinches, not caught up with the situation though she calms at the touch.
Though she feels more concern bubble inside her, Grave keeps quiet as Rose opens her eyes, looking groggy and out of it.
Still feeling concerned, Grave cracks a small smile at Rose as she moves in her hold, mind working to catch up to her.
Her smile vanishing, Grave panics as Rose whines softly, unsure of what to do as she starts trembling slightly.
“Its okay, nobody’s gonna hurt you anymore…” Grave reassures Rose, her voice soft as Rose seems to recognise it, melting into Grave as she sniffles quietly.
“You’re safe now… I promise.” Grave continues, stroking Rose’s hair gently as she clings onto her, hiding from view.
Humming softly, Grave pulls Rose closer to cuddle her, feeling Rose snuggle into her gently, appreciating the comforting touch.
Smiling, Grave presses a soft kiss to Rose’s forehead, hearing her squeak quietly in response as she hides more.
Grave smiles at the cuteness as Rose hugs her gently, her face warm as it presses into Grave.
Grave glows softly, making her warmer as Rose hums softly, feeling happy and sleepy as she hugs Grave.
Beeping softly, Grave wiggles happily as Rose smiles at her gently, burrowing into the covers for warmth.
Grave hugs Rose gently, feeling slightly sleepy as Rose lets out a small content noise, falling asleep silently in Grave’s arms. Feeling content, Grave lets herself fall asleep again, a small smile on her face as she glows softly.
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tallat-of-thralls · 6 years ago
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Internal Work
Im going to start this ramble off with a very strange story that im going to be using as a metaphor on how i approach my internal work.
......
*Trigger Warnings*
References mental illness and uses uncomfortable metaphors. First hand experiences with symptoms of mental illness as well as experiences with people who have mental illnesses.
TL; Dr : Internal work for both spiritual and nonspiritual people is important for a balanced life.
.......
Story: My mother is mentally ill and probably always has been. She panics and develops obsessive or fixed habits that can create a obstacle filles envireoment.
After our stay in the shitty hood apartments, we ended up moving to the sticks/backwoods in the south eastern texas country. This was all a response to my stalker father so it was secluded.
Well, for the first couple of weeks, we had problems with out very backwoods neighbors and the private trash removal company. My mother was under the impression we had a trash pickup for the neighbor hood but wouldn't reason when told that she cant leave the trash on the curb in hopes that it will just be removed. My (late) stepdad managed to piss off out hillbilly neighbors which resulted in them to road haul the trash can down the back woods street spreading garbage everywhere...
After we collected our garbage and retrieved our busted can, my mother had a meltdown. Instead of finding a trash company she had made us all stored the trash bags in this dilapidated rabbit cage until she decides what shes going to do.
Even with blunt negotiations and passive pleads from my stepdad, sister, me, and then texas native boyfriend (now husband) to allow us to burn the trash or haul. The trash remained. (My bf/husband was sneaking burnables out to rid them).
Eventually, it sat and built massive amounts of garbage stacked over my head. Everytime any of us motioned to it, my mother would freak out.
So, then we have a huge pile of trash festering in a cage.
.........
Now, how does this translate to internal work?
Clearly, by skipping a few details we still were able to address several external stressers. Taking the behaviour and reaction into account, we are able to figure out the internal influences.
Working on yourself is viewing your behaviour, decisions, life events, and exterior/interior influences in a objective manner. This means, coldly analyzing it to understand yourself. Not to put yourself down but to understand the rhyme and reason behind all tht occured.
Subjectively, nothing makes sense. Everything happens too fast. Analyzing your behaviour while acting is a reactionary tactic that ultimately results in problems stacking... Like bags of trash.
Pretty soon, not taking the time to understand and analyze the forces in your life will create a strange attachment to emotional garbage because it have invariably turned to something pivotal or motivational even. Looking at that pile of trash one has collected gives a sense of purpose.
"I will clean it!!!" But only allowing it to build. "I will clean it!" But not letting anyone near that garbage to help. "I will clean it!!" The cage can no longer contain the vast amount of trash.
The external influences has forced the internalized perspective into collecting and focusing on the huge pile of trash. Knowing how every bag is made and it most certainly should be protected from being dragged and tossed down the road for everyone to see. Its to the point where noone can effectively and safely remove the trash by just hauling to a dump or burning it off.
The Trash is now a problem
Assess the problem, analyze the infleunces that created this pattern of behaviour, and now figure out a solution.
Dont accept the blame. There is no blame to be had. Between the massive amounts of negative activity impacting your life outside, your already fragile insides swirled and hooked onto something repetitive, soothing, but feeds into an anxious pattern. Dont accept the blame but take responsibility for your actions and reactions.
Punishing yourself and fretting over the consequence of trash collecting creates hesitation. The trash is toxic. Its leaking every where. Every one can smell it. They want to help remove the trash and are trying to figure out why someone is attached to it.
Beating yourself up and blaming yourself for the trash feeds into that reactionary and fixating behavior. Take a step back and ask the party and yourself what the best solution to fixing this pile of trash.
Putting a tarp over it only hide its visual. Reinforcing the cage prevents the trash from getting out. Fires cover the smell and removes what's easily burnable. But not everything can burn away.
Its a good start but we all need to let go of that garbage.
Sometimes the pile of trash is so big that you need to call some one to come and get it. (Its what ended up happening). Once we estabilshed a solution and once we we able to address the reason for piling garabage, we were able to remove the garbage.
In the story, it was hiring a company to come and take the trash then signing up for a private trash company to come and get it once a week.
Metaphorically this translates to asking a professional whose job is to help people address the reason for ammounting a pile of trash.
Everyone has trash. We all have our reasons for getting emotionally attached to it. Whether its out of fear that some will drag it out in the open, worried what life would be like without it, so on.
Though external interference is required to help address larger piles of trash, one must understand the reason for collecting the trash in the first place.
Self reflection and analysation helps acknowledge the influences and reasons for behaviour. "Why am i collecting garbage and why cant i let it go?"
Having hugely impactful events or chronic problems pushing on you externally can effect one internally. It will exasperate any mental illness or fixation that some one already has. Sometimes it makes sense, most times it only makes sense when doing the behaviour. In any regard, it requires internal retrospection to both understand the problem and coming up with a solution.
Mental illness will tell you to collect trash, make you hate yourself for collecting trash, make you hold onto trash, then punish you for having trash. Mental illness will do everything within its power to continue with that pattern of behaviour.
Mental illness isn't your fault no matter how many times it tries to convince you that it is. Seek a solution, not a punishment. Address the results and work on cleaning it up. Punishing yourself only feeds into the cycle of behaviour of fixating on that metaphorical trash.
....
Ive been experiencing this personally. I am sharing the story i had connected my internal conflict to. I am working on addressing my subjective dallying and mental dancing to avoid staring at my giant pile of stinky, leaky trash.
My solution: Peel back the layers one by one and surely remove the emotional garbage i have been holding onto.
No blame. No hate. Just lots of screaming and crying about the garbage i have so nonsensically grown attached to. I should probably seek a professional to help but as it currently stands, i have walled myself in a trash cage.
Im unable to get through and analyze the resources available let alone fathom the heap that has built up around me.
The first step i took was knowing that i was in trash. I am Not trash. Then removing my attachment to my trash by looking at what influenced me to start collecting in the first place. Was it internal? External? Both?
I am on the brink of convincing myself that i dont need the trash.
A very long and painful process. I still have a ways to go.
....
In conclusion, this is internal work. You reflect on yourself and accept shortcomings without casting blame. Once that is established you can begin working on a solution to address the problems as a result of things that were outside control.
In all of the "basic" spirit work i have practiced, this is the most difficult and longest process of attaining personal balance.
I hate it. It forces me to confront my fixations and behaviours. It causes conflict with my well rooted mental illness and makes me acknowledge the external traumas that brought me to this point.
Despite the pain, in my opinion, this sort of internal work is extraordinarily important. Whether youre part of or outside of the spiritual and faith community.
If you are a faith filled person that employs spirit works, this will be a continual hitch in working with some of the more alien entities. Some will try to drag it out of you and if you aren't fully aware or within the understanding of yourself then your problems will be road hauled for you to plainly see. This will cause more issues and result in further patterned behaviour. You will lose control within this practice if you dont address your own spirit first.
If you're not really a spiritual person, you will continuously transfer the pattern of behaviour in unrelated or all aspects of your life. This makes navigating the rest of your world more difficult as a result.
Thank you for reading my reflective post today. Take it at face value, im clearly jumbling my metaphysical trash pile.
AethyrSecretary 🌙
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howdoyouspellepiphany · 6 years ago
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The Prophecy
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Summary: Min Yoongi is the first in line for the throne in Infernum. He is the only child of Hades, the current King of Infernum and Min Yoo Jung, the goddess of harvest and spring. A long time ago, a prophecy have fallen upon Infernum and Paradisus which promises the demise of two realms in the hands of a creature that many believes to be a mortal. With Hades gone in search for a solution, Yoongi had to fill in his father’s position as a regent. And for the longest time, everything is going smoothly ignorant to his mother’s feelings.
So, when his mother, the goddess of spring had forced him to spend some time with her on Earth after ignoring her and her feelings for 15 years, he had no choice but to obey her. 
Now, the prince of Infernum is back on Earth and he met a pink haired waiter who looks like heaven and smells like sin. And all of a sudden, he was reminded by the prophecy:
Beautiful as the creature may be, fire doesn’t burn, ice doesn’t freeze, water doesn’t drown and lightning doesn’t destroy.
 Warnings: Implied smut, crude language, ignorant author
Chapter 2   Chapter 3   Chapter 4  Chapter 5
Chapter 1
When Yoongi opens his eyes, he finds himself on some park near an unknown river. He grumbles as he glares at the sun shining up above with white puffy clouds and blue sky. It’s a beautiful day with birds chirping and flowers begins to bud. It was the first day of spring and everything is coming back to life after 3 months of hibernation. He glares at the sun in disdain as his senses slowly return to him. The silver haired man groans and forces himself to sit upright. His brows creases as the wetness at the back of his black shirt slowly makes its presence known. It has gotten wet due to lying on the grass (presumably wet due to melted snow).
Frankly, Yoongi is man who has 10:1 ratio of what he couldn’t stand to what he can. And being wet is one of the things he cant stand.
             “I’m going to kill Namjoon.” He seethes as memories of being pushed into the loophole flashes through his cold, bluish grey eyes. Yoongi had a small dispute with Namjoon before he was so rudely interrupted by his own advisor.
‘You need to settle things with Suran. Things are really looking bad for her and if you don’t help her, she might really get turned against this time.’ Now, how many times have Yoongi heard this? Thrice in a span of 5 years. Suran have always managed to make things alright again when given time. So why is this time any different? ‘Also, you need to visit your mother on time, this year. I can’t handle her wrath last year when you decided to bail at the last moment. How many years has it been since you last saw her? 17? 20?’ His advisor patiently reminded him for the umpteenth time this week. Yoongi was at the end of the thin and fragile rope known as his patience. If he ever hears Namjoon bringing up his mother again for the 132,510th time, he swears in his father’s name that he will end Namjoon himself.
‘You know I can’t help it. I am a regent until my father returns.’ Yoongi said and the blonde man next to him sighs dejectedly. Yoongi knows that the stress of managing a kingdom hasn’t only taken a toll on him but on his advisor as well. He knows that Namjoon means well and is trying to help him make wise decisions but he is a prince to his people first. ‘I am sure Suran can come and pay us a visit here herself and I haven’t been visiting my mother for only 15 years. Don’t exaggerate it, Namjoon and I’m sure it feels like only what? 6 months have passed-‘
‘9 months.’ Namjoon corrected.
‘Right, 9 months have passed and it’s not even that long and my mother will understand. Now, call the members of the council for a meeting. I need to speak with them urgently about your birth home. I hear it’s worse this time round. It had really gotten down to -310 degrees and my demons are freezing over there.’
‘You don’t need to worry about Athara. What you need to worry is about your position on Earth. Suran can’t keep filling in for you. The dhampirs and the ghouls are going berserk and Suran’s army can’t hold up against them any longer. The dispute is very bad, Yoongi. They are going against the pact and they are going to have Suran’s head if you’re not going to do anything.’
‘I am going to do something and I am going to Earth as soon as I’m done with my duties here. You’re not helping by having this conversation with me.’ Yoongi creased his eyebrows as he wonders when did Namjoon learn to talk back to his words while the said blonde demon glares at the prince as he tries to ignore the loud voices inside his head to hit the royal highness square in the face for being so stubborn. But he obviously decides against it for he knows Yoongi isn’t kind enough to let him pass with just half his bones broken.
‘Your duties as a prince will never stop.’ Namjoon tries again. He is truly worried for the things going on in the world above them and he is getting desperate and frustrated that Yoongi doesn’t seem bothered. ‘You need to get up to the surface.’
‘I don’t see why you’re so worried. We have Jungkook up there.’ Yoongi said despite knowing how his little brother enjoys the bloodshed and war. He knows that Jungkook is own version of Ares and the golden boy has never let him down before so he doesn’t understand why this is any different. But before Yoongi could even say more, a loophole appears before his feet and Namjoon flashes him a smirk.
‘Say hello to Queen Yoo Jung for me.’    
The silver-haired adolescent with fair skin rips the green grass off the ground as he tries to control his temper so the grass in his palms down burst into flames. I ought to change my advisor. He thought spitefully. This isn’t a great start for him. For one, he isn’t completely sure where he is, as he just thought of wherever his mother might be with hopes that the loophole will bring him to where she is. But vagueness isn’t what loopholes obey to and he ended up in a park where humans are found lingering around. Great. He rolls his eyes. Yoongi takes in a deep breath despite how uncomfortable the wet shirt feels like clinging onto his skin is and he couldn’t deny that he actually does like the clean air right after winter. After all, he couldn’t deny what his other half is made from.
Yoongi is the first-born child of Hades, the King of Infernum and his mother, Min Yoo Jung, the goddess of spring. He is the only heir and first in line to the throne which he has been taking for a while now that his father had embarked on a journey many moons ago with his brothers Zeus and Poseidon to find their father, Kronos.
The reason behind their impromptu journey is that a prophecy was bestowed upon them like lightning on a beautiful, peaceful night. Cassandra of Troy was visiting Apollo’s Temple one night when the tales of the future flashes against her irises. She described the disaster as a sea of flames engulfing Paradisus – Olympus to be exact and in the middle of it all is a creature who has the features of a mere mortal. The fire was so strong that even Poseidon’s water couldn’t tame it as it burns everything that stand in its way whereas Zeus’s lightning did little to no damage against the mortal. Upon seeing the raging fire, angels have tried bringing the ice from Infernum’s Athara but alas, the ice melt against the raging fire. It was total chaos as bright orange and amber burns in Cassandra’s eyes. And as Paradisus burns to death, Infernum freezes up for there is no Paradisus without Infernum and vice versa. She’s seeing the end of both Paradisus and Infernum and it all ended in the hands of the said creature.
She had summoned Hermes that very night and told him of the final prophecy she saw before killing herself in the temple of a God that she resents with her whole existence. She has decided that she will not take sides and there’s a wicked voice in her head which did not belong to any of the goddesses that taunts Cassandra to let the gods who have done no justice to her and her people die. Hermes had flown back to Paradisus in a haste and barged in the Zeus’s golden chateau in the heart of Paradisus – Olympus as soon as he got there. Once the message was relayed to Zeus, he had called for an emergency meeting one so big that it includes the King of Infernum himself.
Yoongi was still young when he followed his father, Hades to Olympus for weeks with no end. Yoongi didn’t do so well in the friend department but still to make a friend in Olympus who was shunned for not being beautiful. Nevertheless, he still remembers the chaos and the hushed voices of older gods and goddesses who are constantly whispering about the prophecy wherever they go in fear for their lives.
Beautiful as the creature may be, fire doesn’t burn, ice doesn’t freeze, water doesn’t drown and lightning doesn’t destroy.
And everything went to shambles from there.
Massacres and the strong stench of blood lingers in the air for a long period of time due to selfishness and fear. Even so, the gods knew they couldn’t cower in fear and the massive and groundless massacre for long hence, the three most powerful gods went to search for an answer from their father.
Yoongi stares off the distance as he tries to figure out where he was sent to but to no avail. He just couldn’t pinpoint where he is. He tilts his head to the left a little in frustration as he sighs until two older women jog past him. He was sure he had memorized every page of that Geography book Jungkook had made personally and sent him before coming here. It was impossible that he couldn’t recognize any of these buildings from his little brother’s professional photographs.
“Another one wasted? What a disappointment.” One of them nudges the other.
“I wonder what’s to happen to the younger generation for they dye their hair in odd colours then go to parties and get wasted all night.” The other woman scoffs in distaste. Upon hearing them, Yoongi immediately stands up and gave them a smile before looking into their eyes. And almost immediately, he sees the few things that troubles them – being old, financial issues and family feuds.
“Good morning, grandmothers. It truly baffles me how you can badmouth a stranger who is trying to relax when your children are basically living off of your pension money on liquor and grade C coke.” He said with a polite tone. He was feeling less annoyed now that he knows where he is. He even bowed to them before leaving as he hears some insults were thrown his way but he blatantly ignores them. The deep yellow was starting to radiate above their skin says it all – they were embarrassed and Yoongi have already attacked their biggest weakness. Nothing else that may come out of their mouth that is worth his wasted time.
So, for his own crude amusement, Yoongi decides to indulge himself in the scenery before him as he ignores the curses that comes out of the women’s mouths. Although there is no place like home, he is still amazed with how fast Korea is developing over the past few years that he wasn’t able to accompany his mother. Speaking of his mother, he should have known that she would have chosen Korea despite there are 194 other countries in the world. She must have chosen Korea this time to see the cherry blossoms for she was summoned to Paradisus last year by her mother, Demeter for something his grandmother might have wanted. The mother-daughter pair have never let him in any of their discussion for Demeter used to tell him that it was something only the Divines would understand. It used to annoy the living shit out of Yoongi when he was younger hence not seeing his grandmother up till now. But it’s not like Demeter had even remotely tried to talk to him, anyways.
Yoongi buries his hands in the pockets of his black leather jeans as he lets his body guide him to the apartment where he believes his mother resides. Seoul in his eyes is a beautiful city. It has a different feeling from he was in Tokyo, Singapore, London or New York. He likes deceiving Seoul is. While the exterior is clean, scenic and prepossessing, the interior is squalid, grotesque and appalling.  And despite how amusing weaponry smuggling and drug lord wars are in Yoongi’s eyes, he finds himself at home amongst the two-faced everyday civilians he encounters.
As soon as he steps out of the park, he becomes more aware of the putrid air – the smell of sex, hypocrites, jealousy and failure thick in the air. Yoongi is a clairvoyant type of demon whereby he can ‘see’ feelings through colours despite not being able to hypnotize people the way Namjoon easily can with a snap of his fingers. He sees deep red of lust radiating from teenagers and adults alike, deep blue of sorrow and purple of avarice on men and women in suits. It is very rare for him to find other colours on adolescents and elderly alike. But with children, they indulge him in other colours like white which represents innocence, gold that represents intense happiness and pastel pink that are soothing to the eyes due to their pure love.  
As he was zoning out, he found himself outside of his mother’s apartment as he stares at the number on the brown door. He sighs as he punches in the 6-digit password – 814519 as it flashes green, chimes a little and an unlock sound was heard. He pushes the handle downwards and steps in the apartment. To his surprise, his one and only mother was standing in front of the door with a ridiculously huge smile on her features. Yoongi sighs at the sight as she pulls him into a hug. “If you were here, why didn’t you open the door for me?” Yoongi mumbles as he accepts his mother’s warm embrace. His mother, Yoo Jung or more commonly known as Persephone or Jachongbi, is a tan woman with locks that reminds him of the golden rays of the sun during a bright sunny day. Yoongi, on the other hand is ivory skinned. He is, according to his mother a complete copy of Hades. The only thing he physically inherited from his mother is her greyish blue eyes.
“You’re freezing!” Yoo Jung exclaims as she hugs her son tighter. Yoongi rolls his eyes. He’s always freezing. That’s what he and his father is. Despite ruling Infernum which in normal and common belief is supposed to be on fire, it’s actually quite cold but the fire burns hotter than it normally does. When Yoo Jung lets go of her son, she pats his cheeks as her eyes water. “It’s been a while since I last saw you.” She whispers and Yoongi sighs.
“Mom you know I’ve got no choice. Dad is gone-“
“I know, I know. With your father gone, you’re the regent. I know. But cant I miss my own son? You don’t visit me anymore.” Yoo Jung said, frowning.
“But I’m here now.” Yoongi tried and Yoo Jung smiles at her son before ruffling his hair. The said woman begins to ask too many questions at once like ‘have he eaten’ or ‘is he tired from the journey’ and ‘when is Namjoon coming’ all of which is ignored by Yoongi. He just wants to rest now that he’s on Earth but instead of going straight to his shared bedroom with Jungkook and Namjoon, he went towards the old brown piano nearby his mother’s balcony where she has her plants planted in pots. He runs his finger across the wood but never the keys. He has been dying to touch the piano ever since he had no time for it but now that he’s actually touching it, he fears that he’s already forgotten the notes. And so, he turns away from the piano and steps outside.
As a child, Yoongi learns how to create life like his mother does and did his best to learn every single type of flora there is even the ones present in the human world. “You still have these?” Yoongi asks as he touches the soft petals of the tuberose. The flower reminds him of sunsets because it starts with a deep purple from the dark green stem that slowly turns into dark red and pink before it turns into orange and ends with yellow tips.
“The Neoleas? You know your brother can’t sleep well without them.” Yoo Jung said softly as a memory of the past flashes before her eyes. The tragedy didn’t only physically affect Yoo Jung but Yoongi as well. For the sake of keeping the atmosphere light, he forces himself to focus on other things like:
“Is that why we have a smaller version of a peach tree here?” Yoongi asks in amusement. “You spoil him too much.” The heir of Infernum plucks a peach off the small tree and eats it. Of course, the plants that were planted by her hands always turn out scrumptious for she is the goddess of spring and plants befitting to be the daughter of Demeter, the goddess of harvest.
“I spoil all my boys.” Yoo Jung said in defence. “Which reminds me, I made some lamb skewers for both you and Jungkook in the fridge. I’m sure there’s plenty for the both of you and Namjoon so don’t quarrel over it.” Yoongi makes a face. Quarrel? Over lamb skewers? What are we? 7? “I know what you’re thinking, Yoongi. Although I don’t think the three of you resembles children, but your actions always speak louder.”
“What are you talking about?” Yoongi scoffs, offended.
“The last time I made too little, the house was reduced to ashes.”
“Honestly, that was all Jungkook.” Yoongi said in a matter of fact-ly tone.
“Yeah? Then mind justifying yourself why I vividly remember you biting Namjoon’s burnt hand while Jungkook was eating is own tail?” Yoo Jung asks, hands on her hips as she dares her son try to win the debate.
“It was still Jungkook.” Yoongi mumbles petulantly while the goddess of spring can only shake her head and sigh at her son’s behaviour.
“Anyway, there’s some japchae in the fridge for Jungkook’s dear friend. Do remind the boy to take them over for his friend before it turns bad, will you?” Yoo Jung said as she heats up the bulgogi she made earlier in case her son decides to stop by.
The demon prince, now clad in a black leather jacket found himself wandering in the streets of Seoul once again on his red and black Streetfighter. He just wants to discover the city a bit more for it clearly had changed since the last time he came. It’s obvious that it had gotten more modern now. Yoongi makes a stop at the red light and all of a sudden, a bitter but calming aroma of coffee hits his olfactory and he can’t help but reminisce the time he spent with a human girl named Yaksoku. Yaksoku is your everyday girl who has troubles with her skin and hair. She was a crossbreed between a Korean mother and a Japanese father – hence the name, Yaksoku which rhymes with promise in both Korean and Japanese. Her skin isn’t very fair and her looks are mediocre but she managed to captivate his attention with her luscious black hair that reminds him of the night sky at 3 in the morning and her warm brown eyes that resembles the coffee he likes so much.
Yaksoku, the human girl who captured Yoongi’s attention is someone with dreams of opening up a café. She used to take odd jobs (which eventually leads to their fateful encounter) and one day, with Yoongi’s help, she was able to turn her dreams into a reality. Yoongi isn’t a saint, no. He told her that she needs to trade her soul for it and she agreed without hesitations even if it meant sleeping with him. He used to think that she’s foolish to sell her soul for something that he hasn’t even given her but when he saw the determination in her eyes, he isn’t sure if her decision is foolish anymore.  
He doesn’t know why he stayed true to his end of the deal to help her build the café but he did and he built it from scratch. And he unknowingly gained Yaksoku from it as she did not only give him her body and soul but an unbreakable bond built on trust and friendship. It wasn’t as though he loved her and vice versa but they feel at lost when the other isn’t by their side – much like when you miss your best friend after not seeing them after 30 minutes. But being regent is harder than Yoongi have originally thought and the Fallens have begun questioning him of Yaksoku and he ended up leaving after giving her soul back to her.
While he is lost in his thoughts, his body brings him to Yaksoku’s café – the Promise café. He doesn’t want to admit to anyone but seeing her for the first time in a few years made him excited. The white haired prince isn’t even sure if she wants to see him again after all these years after he left but he knows that his best friend isn’t one to leave him. He can proudly say that he knows her all too well.
Yoongi has strains his neck as subtly as he can to steal glances inside the café for a woman’s silhouette with hopes that it’s Yaksoku. He knows that her necklace might already be glowing as an indication of his arrival but he still wants to sacrifice his neck to search for his best friend. When he couldn’t find her, he hastily parks his bike and hops down. As soon as he enters the shop, the air conditioning immediately hits his skin and he welcomes the chill and the lustful eyes that comes with. It is no secret that Min Yoongi is blessed with good looks as females and males alike ogle shamelessly at the demon prince whenever he struts past them as the said demon barely gave them a glance while minding his own business. Yoongi makes his way to corner next to the cactus he had Yaksoku get when she first opens the café as he emits a don’t-bother-me aura when he finally makes eye contact with the humans who are still staring at him. He sees how some avert their eyes as the colour changes from red to yellow – a colour of embarrassment or cowardice.
To Min Yoongi, humans’ feelings are a fickle thing. The colours they emit changes so fast and soothing, pastel colours he often sees in children are rarely ever present on adults as the usual two colours he often sees is the deep, smothering red surrounding men which represents their insatiable lust and the disgusting green that reminds him of a swamp or the slime on Leviathan’s back surrounding the women which shows him their envy and jealousy.  
There is a 10:1 ratio of the things Yoongi hates to the things he likes here on Earth. Amongst the few things that he undoubtedly like is his mother’s cooking, alcohol, drugs, cigars, fruitless deaths, pretty things, lots of filthy sex and coffee. So, when a pink haired waiter coming his way with a scent that goes well with the bitter aroma of coffee in a loose white shirt, Yoongi found himself salivating. Suddenly, he doesn’t know what he’s salivating for anymore – the boy or the coffee. He couldn’t deny that the boy is drop dead gorgeous with a scent that makes him hungry for more. But what catches him off guard is the fact that there is a thin white light radiating above the boy’s skin – something that Yoongi has never encounter on a grown man for it represents innocence.
“May I take your order?” The boy asks, offering Yoongi a menu as to which the prince declined. He already knows what he wants, after all.
You, Yoongi thought cheekily as he smirks to himself. But he wouldn’t do that to his best friend even if the one who catches his eye looks like heaven and smells like sin. “Black coffee. That’ll be all.” Yoongi said as the pink haired boy bows slightly before taking his leave. Yoongi’s blue eyes follows the boy till he disappears behind the door that separates them and the kitchen.
While the white-haired prince waits for his long-awaited reunion with Yaksoku and his hot cup of coffee, his eyes trail to a certain pair of red eyes that have been blown out with lust. Yoongi holds her gaze as she submits to him with just a look before lowering her a head a little. Yoongi immediately knows that the girl sitting across the table is an ally of Asmodeus’s or her species is more commonly known as a succubus whose greatest sin is lust. He takes notice of the two men next to her, with their hands up and below her skirt no doubt giving her the release she probably had begged for. Now, Min Yoongi is no saint and he, too would do anything to sate his needs by any means possible even if he has to fuck them in the middle of the café but he would be damned if he let himself get controlled by a mere human as he watches the little succubus leads her two play things out the café before giving him a small and subtle bow.
Min Yoongi isn’t a patient man which is why he was baffled himself that he was able to wait for Yaksoku to turn up until the shop closes. The pink haired waiter whose name is Jimin (he learned it after his third cup of coffee and a ‘it’s on the house!’ peanut butter and chocolate flavoured cake) told him that it is past the closing time. Yoongi knew it was closing time nearly 2 hours ago but he didn’t want to believe that Yaksoku didn’t want to come see him but when Jimin had say it, he couldn’t deny the feeling of utter betrayal. Did Yaksoku not want to see me? Is that why she didn’t come? Yoongi couldn’t help but have these toxic thoughts as he braves himself to ask about Yaksoku only to find out that she had passed away a little over 2 years and that Jimin is her grandson. The little piece of information shocked Yoongi greatly. While he was busy with his duties, he forgot that a year to him is equivalent to 20 years in the human realm and if he was aware that at least 3 years have passed in his realm, in the human world, a grand 60 years have passed. Yoongi was shocked beyond words, mostly angry that she had died so easily despite only 60 years have passed.
Humans are indeed weak and pitiful. Yoongi thought in distaste before giving Jimin a 50 dollar bill and took off before Jimin could hand him his change. To anyone who knows Yoongi would already know that the prince had sped off to Aphrodite, the most famous brothel in the red district. He was immediately greeted by Ken or more known as Asmodeus as he was given a glass full of his favourite wine, a room and two of the Aphrodite’s favourite Angels. Once Min Yoongi got his hands on them, he didn’t let go of the Angels even for a breath or for a thought as he used their body for his own pleasure.
Whimpers turn to moans and eventually screams of pain and agony was heard from the room. Yoongi paid no heed to their begging and pleas to stop as he chases his own pleasure. Yoongi’s grand, black wings make its appearance as it rips through his skin and his black shirt once he does. It was so large and so beautiful that for a split second, the angels thought he’s a God but when they meet Yoongi’s unforgiving eyes, they knew he was far from it.
Once he was done, he calls out for Ken whom he knows has been outside of the door, hesitating to enter the room while he had his way with the Angels as he takes out a cigar from the drawer and casually lights it up. The prince of Infernum have only gotten his best friend’s death out of his mind but now another person has creeped in his mind.
When Ken steps in the room and carry his Angels out of the chamber, his jaw drops in awe. The headboard has smashed to pieces, the satin of the bed sheets is torn and feathers all over the floor from the pillows. Ken finally snaps out of his trance when he hears his Angels whimper in pain. He looks at them with emotions devoid in his red eyes – a common feature for Asmodeus and his underlings - as he watches his Angels scramble to cover their body with the torn and soiled satin sheets. The prince has broken them, was the only thing that he can think before helping them out.
“You better leave before Jin finds out what you’ve done to his angels.” Ken said after bringing the second Angel out. Yoongi, on the other hand makes no haste move to cover up as he blows a puff of smoke and downs another bottle of liquor.
“Bring me another one of these.” He said, completely ignoring Ken.
“I’m serious, Yoongi. Leave before Jin finds out.” Yoongi pauses for a moment as he looks at Ken. Yoongi hates being bossed around by anyone including his own mother but he couldn’t blame Ken for being anxious. After all, the demon who gains strength by the fulfilment of one’s carnal desires are torn apart between respecting his prince and maintaining a beneficial friendship with the owner of the club, Jin.
Now, Kim Seokjin or more known as Jin is a friend of Yoongi’s and the son of Aphrodite. He, in Yoongi’s eyes has mommy issues thus naming his infamous brothel after his mother, the goddess of beauty and pleasure. And much like Yoongi, Jin only has a few things that he loves and amongst which is the club, his Angels, his friends and Kim Namjoon. Yoongi sighs as he lays on bed. “Fine, don’t give me another bottle. I’m leaving. I’ll pay your Angels twice the amount for their services tonight.” Yoongi groans as he sits up on the bed. He retracts his wings with a groan. It hurts having them out since it pierces through his skin and it hurts even more getting them back in because it’s not comfortable for him. Ken offers to carefully dab Yoongi’s bloodied skin with a warm towel as he offers kisses down Yoongi’s neck and at the skin where his wings popped out. “Kiss me one more time and I will fuck you into this mattress, Asmodeus.” Yoongi threatens with his real name as the other demon chuckles. Although Ken knows Yoongi doesn’t play around when he calls him by his real name, he couldn’t feel threatened. How is he supposed to feel threatened when all he hears is a promise of a good time?
“You said it like it’s a threat.” Ken coos, kissing Yoongi’s lips, silently daring the prince of Infernum as Ken’s red eyes shine a little in the dim light.
“I have time to spare. If it’s a fuck you want, you know I’ll give it to you.” It is no secret that Yoongi and Ken have fucked before. Gender and species have never been an obstacle to Yoongi although he does have a personal favourite and for a long time, he enjoys copulating with a human most.
“Please do. Don’t hold back this time.” Ken has his tongue out and drag it along Yoongi’s collarbone as the prince chuckles deeply. His eyes are devoid of white sclera as he stares Ken down.
“Alright. But you’re doing all the work.” Yoongi said as he gets comfortable on the bed. He continues to smoke on his cigar as he watches Ken takes his own pants off. The demon then got on his knees and kisses Yoongi again before taking his dick in his hands as he strokes it up and down. Ken’s other hand pushes his own black hair back.
“As you wish, Your Highness.” Ken whispers as he places his knees in between Yoongi’s thighs.
“You don’t have STDs or anything like that, do you?” Yoongi asks, blowing a puff of smoke into Ken’s face.
“You wound me, Your Highness. You can’t get any of those humanly diseases and so can’t I.” Ken replies, feigning hurt.
“It’s always a good idea to be safe, Ken. Who knows who else have fucked your tight little asshole.” Ken moans wantonly at Yoongi’s words as he feels his prince’s dick thicken in girth as it begins to slowly stand tall.
“Only humans, Your Highness. Clean humans.”
“Very well then. Serve me.” Upon Yoongi’s verbal green light, Ken sinks down to Yoongi’s full length. Yoongi closes his eyes at the surprisingly wet and tight asshole but when he opens his eyes, the one bouncing on his dick no longer takes the form of Ken. If it werent for his voice, he would have believed his eyes.
“I live to do just that.” Ken whispers, knowing full well that he now looks like someone Yoongi has been wanting. Though Ken doesn’t know whom, Yoongi surely does. He would have been damned if he ever forgets his pink hair.
Chapter 2
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