#fear management in professional life | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

astrogossipp · 8 months ago

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saturn notes. 🪬

Disclaimer. these observations do not have to resonate with everyone and everything, all expressed in this post is based on personal experience and research.

"Saturn in the birth chart symbolises how an individual faces challenges, handles responsibilities and works towards their growth. Saturn also represents long term achievements and what you get later in your life after some struggle."

masterlist🐈‍⬛

🪬 aries saturn

Individuals with Saturn in Aries tend to be cautious and reserved, often avoiding risks due to a fear of failure and rejection. They may experience health issues related to circulation, kidneys, and frequent headaches. These individuals often assume significant responsibilities early in life, leading to considerable anxiety when asserting their rights and seeking control over situations. Anger can be a challenge for them, and developing self-reliance is crucial for their success. In their youth, they may struggle with self-expression and managing their emotions, such as anger, and may have a fear of various things, including heights or medical procedures. However, as they mature, they often become more courageous and open, overcoming their initial fears and becoming more confident in expressing themselves. Saturn's placement in Aries can create inner tension and conflict, making it difficult for these individuals to fully trust their abilities and leading to a solitary nature. They may prefer working independently over collaborating with others, which can sometimes hinder their professional growth. Over time, they can evolve into effective leaders, though they may still retain a preference for working alone. Their self-perception often leads them to take on more work than necessary, driven by a sense of responsibility and the desire to be seen as capable. This self-sacrificing attitude can lead to stress and headaches. A key lesson for them is to assert their own goals, embrace self-discipline, and practice self-love. Their focus on personal achievement may obstruct teamwork, and they might encounter difficulties in relationships and marriage due to their strong-willed nature. When Saturn is poorly aspected, these individuals may face significant obstacles and conflicts, which can strain their social connections and personal relationships. They might also experience impatience and frustration, leading to potential destructive behaviors if not managed well. Despite these challenges, they are often determined and capable, with a strong drive for success and a keen ability to handle creative and organizational tasks. To thrive, they need to balance their ambition with patience and learn to work harmoniously with others. While their intense focus and drive can lead to significant accomplishments, they should be cautious not to let their impatience and tendency towards self-centeredness undermine their efforts. Engaging in physical activities can help manage stress and maintain emotional balance.

🪬 taurus saturn

Individuals with Saturn in Taurus tend to exhibit traits such as possessiveness, loyalty, jealousy, stubbornness, and discipline. They possess notable endurance and are willing to exert substantial effort to achieve their goals. A profound need for emotional and financial security characterizes them, and they approach decisions with careful consideration, avoiding impulsiveness. Practical management of finances is crucial for them. Health issues may include problems with the throat, speech, and possible headaches. In their early years, they may struggle with expressing their worth and fear financial instability. They might have difficulty enjoying luxuries or feeling valued, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy. As they mature, they often find ways to appreciate financial stability and personal value. They set strict boundaries for themselves and tend to be frugal, spending only on necessities. Saturn's influence in Taurus can lead to a heightened sense of insecurity regarding finances and possessions. These individuals may have experienced financial instability in their upbringing, contributing to their cautious approach toward wealth. They are hardworking, patient, and disciplined, often demonstrating a strong work ethic and methodical realism. A negative aspect of this placement may involve extreme caution, jealousy, and materialistic tendencies, potentially leading to difficulties in relationships and a rigid attitude towards wealth. Despite this, individuals with Saturn in Taurus can also exhibit significant resilience, patience, and a pragmatic approach to life. They may become wise and reliable, showing exceptional endurance and dedication to their goals.Positive development of this placement can foster artistic interests and a balanced perspective on security. However, they should be cautious of becoming overly materialistic or isolating themselves. Building personal security and understanding true values are essential for their overall well-being. Their methodical and disciplined approach to work often leads to long-term success, though they should guard against overemphasizing material concerns at the expense of personal happiness and flexibility.

🪬 gemini saturn

Individuals with Saturn in Gemini are characterized by a rational, organized, and often emotionally detached demeanor. Early in life, they may face challenges in communication and education, leading to doubts about their abilities. Despite their constant stream of new ideas, they may hesitate to venture into unfamiliar territory. They generally excel in analytical fields such as mathematics and science but struggle with social interactions and public speaking. Feelings of isolation and nervous tension may also be prevalent. Health concerns can include issues with the lungs and throat. This placement of Saturn enhances practicality, fostering logical thinking and effective problem-solving skills. Saturn's position in Gemini, being in its triplicity, supports intellectual pursuits and allows for quick comprehension and organizational abilities. Individuals with this placement are often drawn to intellectually stimulating professions, communication, and writing. However, if Saturn forms challenging aspects, particularly with Mercury or the Ascendant, it can exacerbate difficulties in communication, potentially leading to speech impediments or a reduced adaptability. There might also be a tendency to feel undervalued or naive, impacting social interactions. Despite these challenges, Saturn in Gemini can yield significant intellectual strengths, including a keen ability to retain information and a propensity for deep thinking. Overcoming fears related to social interactions can lead to success in communication, writing, and speaking. These individuals need to cultivate self-confidence and trust in their intuition. They often find fulfillment in fields that involve science, physics, mathematics, or engineering. While their flexibility and quick intellectual grasp are assets, they should avoid becoming overly fixated on minor details at the expense of the bigger picture. In their career and personal development, these individuals might excel in roles that require problem-solving and analytical skills, such as research or teaching. They should manage their workload carefully to avoid burnout and ensure they maintain a balance between their intellectual pursuits and personal well-being. With appropriate discipline and methodical thinking, they can achieve significant success and find pleasure in continuous learning and problem-solving.

🪬 cancer saturn

Individuals with Saturn in Cancer often require affirmation of their worth and affection. They may become preoccupied with compensating for a lack of love experienced in childhood. These individuals might struggle to express their emotions openly and may grapple with feelings of guilt regarding past actions. Overcoming emotional insecurities and old traumas is crucial for their success. They tend to manage challenging situations effectively but must learn to address their emotional wounds and practice empathy and responsibility. Health issues related to the chest, breasts, and stomach can arise, and these individuals may find it difficult to let go of significant emotional experiences. Although Saturn's placement in Cancer can be challenging, it offers an opportunity for learning to process and release emotions healthily. These individuals might experience mood swings and fear of abandonment, leading to withdrawal from close relationships and potential difficulties in showing warmth. In relationships, they may struggle to express their feelings, which can lead to feelings of loneliness or being unloved. Their fears of abandonment and concerns about the future are prominent. If Saturn is adversely aspected, heightened sensitivity and isolation from family may occur. However, these individuals have the potential to provide emotional security in partnerships, family, and their careers. Saturn in Cancer may result in internal conflict between personal goals and emotional struggles, leading to anxiety and difficulties. They often display persistence and diligence but may face challenges related to emotional vulnerability and material security. Negative aspects of this placement can lead to procrastination, blame-shifting, and isolation, while positive development fosters conscientiousness, resilience, and a strong sense of duty. These individuals might be inclined toward managing domestic environments and may show an interest in real estate or applied arts. They can experience deep dissatisfaction and emotional sensitivity combined with external reserve and strength. Balancing discipline with emotional expression is essential, and they may struggle with detachment from material possessions. Understanding and addressing these internal and external challenges is crucial for their personal growth and stability.

🪬 leo saturn

Individuals with Saturn in Leo possess significant creative potential but may struggle to express it fully. They are often admired and loved, though they tend to avoid the spotlight and may adopt a guarded demeanor to protect their emotions. Their cautious and reserved nature is coupled with a strong will, but feelings of inadequacy can undermine their efforts. To thrive, they need to work on their self-esteem, creativity, and ability to balance humility with their personal ambitions. These individuals may face health issues related to the heart, spine, and back. Early in life, they might have felt a lack of recognition and approval, which can make them overly concerned with others' opinions during their younger years. However, as they mature, they have the capacity to develop a robust sense of self that is less affected by external validation. In their professional lives, they are driven towards success and may achieve considerable recognition due to their dedication and exceptional work ethic. Despite their pride, their insecurities can limit their opportunities. They may feel that they matured too quickly, missing out on a carefree youth, and this can impact their approach to relationships and self-expression. Saturn's placement in Leo, associated with strong ego traits, may lead them to either embrace humility or struggle with self-centeredness. Their drive for success is intense, often focusing on gaining power and respect. While they can be reliable and warm, their ambition can sometimes overshadow the needs and interests of others. These individuals may find themselves preoccupied with their appearance and strive for personal excellence in their careers and finances. They often have a deep well of inner strength and talent but may struggle to fully realize their potential. They might find it challenging to express their creativity and self-identity, leading to a feeling of unrealized potential. Their desire for recognition can lead them to push their children or others to achieve, possibly as a way to compensate for their own perceived failures. They show a strong interest in creative endeavors and the development of skills, though they may sometimes overextend themselves in these pursuits. To succeed, they should focus on promoting others' talents and practice humility, avoiding a dictatorial approach and recognizing the value of patience and support in nurturing creativity and success.

🪬 virgo saturn

Individuals with Saturn in Virgo are known for their observant, responsible, and practical nature. They may experience learning difficulties and nervous issues, and they often possess a highly critical self-view. These individuals excel in research and strategic thinking but may underestimate their own abilities. A strong preference for routine and order characterizes their lives. A key lesson for them is to understand that perfection is not a prerequisite for success. They should focus on distinguishing what is truly important and cease excessive self-criticism. Health issues may be linked to the abdominal area, particularly the small intestine. In childhood, they might have been preoccupied with others' opinions and sensitive to criticism, leading to hurt feelings. Over time, they may learn to trust their own judgment more. Their challenge lies in maintaining a balance between self-care and daily responsibilities, and embracing self-belief. While these individuals often strive for perfection and may fear making mistakes, they can benefit from avoiding overwork and excessive concern over minor issues. Their analytical and organizational skills are notable, though they may struggle with personal relationships and emotional expression. Their intellectual focus can sometimes overshadow their emotional needs. This placement may be less favorable for love and marriage due to a tendency to neglect emotional aspects in favor of intellectual pursuits. Individuals with Saturn in Virgo might excel in careers that require deep analysis, such as psychology or therapy. They exhibit a strong sense of duty, responsibility, and a critical approach to new challenges. Their professional demeanor is often serious and reserved, earning them a reputation for reliability. In extreme cases, this placement can lead to an excessive focus on details, resulting in psychological strain and dissatisfaction. Outside of work, they might feel a sense of uselessness or boredom if not engaged in meaningful activities. A stable and orderly environment is essential for their well-being. They are often perceived as disciplined, ethical, and hardworking, with a strong inclination towards practical and analytical tasks.

🪬 libra saturn

Individuals with Saturn in Libra exhibit diplomatic and fair qualities, often preferring cooperation to competition. They may struggle with feelings of inferiority and a fear of rejection, leading them to avoid those who show interest in them. This can impact their relationships, as they desire solid connections but might not always adhere to the standards they set for themselves. Achieving a balance between affection and discipline is crucial for them. These individuals are typically responsible and serious about their commitments but may find decision-making, especially in relationships, challenging. They are known for their diplomatic nature, tact, and balanced judgment, making them well-suited for roles that require fairness and cooperation, such as in legal professions. Health concerns may include issues with the kidneys, intestines, and back. Those with Saturn in Libra often marry later in life or choose partners who are older. When Saturn is positively aspected, these individuals may attain positions of wealth due to their cooperative abilities. However, adverse aspects can lead to selfish behavior, which may harm their reputation. Their sensitivity to external influences makes them adept mediators. They tend to regulate their emotional lives with reason, though negative aspects of Saturn can result in critical attitudes and emotional detachment. Their pursuit of perfection might lead to high demands in relationships and a potentially outdated view of marriage. They may also feel that they will never find a partner who meets their standards. Individuals with this placement often excel in artistic or creative endeavors, achieving great success if they are organized, reliable, and tactful in their professions. They are particularly anxious about chaos or unpleasantness and might become frustrated with others who do not share their perspective. They are inclined to say yes even when they wish to decline, which can be a weakness. Learning to set boundaries and say no to those who do not appreciate their qualities is important for their well-being. Saturn in Libra benefits from the harmonious influence of Venus, its ruling planet, enhancing their determination and reliability. Despite their many strengths, these individuals must work diligently to maintain successful relationships. They are generally capable of attracting impressive people and are skilled at drawing out the right information, leaving others feeling valued. Women with Saturn in Libra often become more graceful and dignified, maintaining their principles with steadfastness. They are generous and sociable, driven by a desire to connect with diverse people. When they find a partner who values their innovative spirit, they can offer unconditional love and full affection. However, patience is essential to avoid toxic relationships. Learning to let go of relationships that are not right is a key area for personal growth. Their curiosity and logical approach to understanding things are notable, although they may also exhibit harshness and volatility.

🪬 scorpio saturn

Individuals with Saturn in Scorpio are characterized by traits such as intensity, passion, determination, and a strong will. They often demand much from themselves and others, driven by a deep reservoir of energy and willpower. Despite their resilience, they can struggle with jealousy, impatience, and a desire for control, which may stem from challenging early life experiences where they felt powerless or misunderstood. Health issues related to the reproductive system and intestinal obstructions are possible concerns for those with this placement. Emotionally, they may battle with feelings of being unseen and unappreciated, which can lead to struggles with letting others take control. The intense journey of self-discovery and seeking purpose is a hallmark of this placement, transforming their life experiences profoundly. Saturn in Scorpio individuals are often seen as secretive and difficult to understand due to their reserved nature. They must confront negative traits like stubbornness, resentment, and ruthlessness. Learning to manage these intense emotions and desires is crucial, as is developing trust and recognizing the good in others. The path can be fraught with conflict and hardship, especially if Saturn is poorly aspected, leading to resentment and a lack of self-control. Despite these challenges, these individuals possess remarkable perseverance and a strong will, making them highly capable of achieving their goals. Their intense nature means they approach everything with great passion and determination, often thriving on overcoming obstacles. However, the pursuit of material success can have negative consequences if not balanced with emotional health. Their natural inclination to deeply understand and heal makes them excellent listeners and potential counselors or metaphysical practitioners. They must learn to face their fears and let go of what no longer serves them, recognizing the impermanence of life. This journey involves significant personal growth and transformation, enabling them to tap into an internal source of power that can be channeled positively. In relationships, both men and women with Saturn in Scorpio tend to be possessive and deeply committed, struggling with jealousy and the fear of betrayal. They may keep their true feelings and insecurities hidden, striving for mental discipline and self-control. This placement can lead to great personal and financial success if they can learn to manage their intense emotions and desires effectively. Ultimately, embracing their unique path and overcoming insecurities is vital for those with Saturn in Scorpio, allowing them to achieve their true dreams and desires in life.

🪬 sagittarius saturn

Individuals with Saturn in Sagittarius are often drawn to travel and learning. Many of them, having missed out on formal education, pursue self-teaching. They can become disenchanted with traditional authority, often relying on their intuition to guide them. This placement can manifest in open honesty or, conversely, in carelessness, rebellion, and indecisiveness. Their philosophical or religious views may be rigid, necessitating a thorough testing of their theories. Health concerns for these individuals may include muscle issues, hip problems, sciatica, and liver conditions. Early life for Saturn in Sagittarius natives may be marked by a lack of joy and difficulty in finding life's meaning, leading to a sense of unfulfillment. However, their willingness to share knowledge is a notable strength. Over time, they find happiness in various aspects of life and often become more radiant than others. They tend to have strong philosophical and religious interests, which can influence their career choices. This placement endows individuals with popularity due to their tolerance and open-mindedness. Negatively, they can be cynical, dogmatic, and insincere. They require proof before believing in anything, and they relish adventures and challenges. Fear of losing freedom makes them wary of commitments, and Saturn teaches them through experiences where their freedom is restricted. They may lack endurance and consistency in their goals but have a strong desire for recognition, sometimes leading to hasty actions with negative outcomes. Spiritual maturity typically arrives later in life, often through meditation and self-reflection. Saturn in Sagittarius individuals have a penchant for teaching and spiritual literature, seeking peaceful environments for growth. They are constantly accumulating knowledge and aim for mastery in their endeavors. Their intense focus and passion for learning are beneficial if balanced with experiencing life around them. Careers in education, personal coaching, or religious leadership suit them well. Their dependability and loyalty make them valued friends, and with maturity, they develop diplomacy that aids their progress. Challenges associated with this placement foster growth through persistence and hard work. Their optimism in the face of setbacks is a key asset, helping them navigate difficult times and enjoy the good ones. They are eager to understand the spiritual purpose of life and connect with like-minded individuals. In love, they prioritize their partner's happiness and enjoy planning surprises. Their quest for knowledge and wisdom is relentless, and they approach their work with passion and energy. These individuals are highly intellectual, preferring to master one subject before moving on to the next. They speak their minds fearlessly, which can challenge relationship expectations. However, they may be inflexible in their existential beliefs, requiring substantial proof to change their views. The best romantic partners for them are those who provide comfort and uplift them, understanding their need for exploration. Regular exercise, a consistent sleep routine, and mindful relationship choices can enhance their well-being. Recognizing anxiety and struggles as opportunities for growth is crucial for finding fulfillment. They must be cautious of tendencies towards excessive ambition, cynicism, or sarcasm, especially in relationships.

🪬 capricorn saturn

Individuals with Saturn in Capricorn are characterized by their ambition, fairness, and impartiality. They possess a strong sense of duty and have a deep-seated fear of their efforts going unrecognized. These individuals seldom take time to relax, instead, they are charming and persistent in pursuing their goals and feel a compelling need to control their environment. This placement often leads to a relentless work ethic, primarily for the benefit of others, with a significant emphasis on financial security and self-sufficiency. They easily take on responsibility, often doubting that others can meet their high standards. Health concerns for Saturn in Capricorn natives may include issues with the skeleton, knees, and skin. During childhood, they may have felt a lack of parental presence, particularly from their father. These individuals take their responsibilities seriously and place great value on planning. They often had many chores and adult responsibilities as children, leading them to mature faster than their peers. The weight of life's burdens can feel heavy, as if they are carrying the world on their shoulders, but they typically achieve significant goals and enjoy successful careers later in life. Women with this placement often shine brightly and exude natural confidence, attracting others with their charisma. They feel the burden of commitment and responsibility deeply, maintaining extremely high standards for themselves and others. This can stem from distant or challenging relationships with their fathers. Saturn in Capricorn individuals tend to be reserved, serious, and sometimes cold or selfish. They may struggle with melancholy and pessimism, showing little interest in distractions, pleasures, or marriage. Instead, they pursue serious goals with great consistency, striving for respected positions through excellent performance. Balancing work and leisure can be challenging, and feelings of loneliness or inadequacy may drive them to work excessively. Their strong desire for power and success can lead to selfishness. However, this period is an opportunity to balance needs and wants, finding self-fulfillment. These individuals are encouraged to express gratitude to those who support their journey, recognizing their own strengths and weaknesses. Those born with Saturn in Capricorn exhibit enormous discipline and personal strength when they are fully engaged in their pursuits. They excel in resource management and strategic planning, thriving when their personal goals align with those around them. Overcoming resentment or jealousy, especially concerning status or wealth, is crucial. They seek respect and serious recognition from peers, often aspiring to become authorities themselves. Success, for Saturn in Capricorn individuals, is understood to require effort and diligence. Planning for the future, building strong foundations, and hard work are essential themes. Their dependable and hardworking nature, coupled with tenacity, propels them far in life, despite a constant awareness of the potential for failure. The burden of commitment and responsibility often leads to high standards for themselves and others. Childhood experiences of distant parental relationships contribute to their serious and sometimes cold demeanor. Despite a tendency towards melancholy and pessimism, they remain focused on achieving their goals through consistent effort. Balancing work with relaxation is crucial to avoid loneliness and inadequacy. The drive for power and success can manifest as selfishness, but recognizing and addressing these tendencies can lead to a fulfilling and successful life.

🪬 aquarius saturn

Individuals with Saturn in Aquarius are innovative and original yet maintain a conservative approach. They often perceive the future as challenging and work diligently to better society. They require a platform to express their ideas and face the challenge of growing through openness and fairness. Success demands a tolerant and unbiased public attitude. While they need structure, they embrace unconventionality and may struggle to form friendships. Admitting their feelings and developing intuition and independent thinking are essential for their growth. Maintaining the health of their circulatory and nervous systems, as well as their heart, is important. During early childhood, these individuals may have felt like outsiders, unaccepted by society or friend groups, possibly due to their intelligence. They have a natural ability to identify people who can help drive change. As natural leaders, others often rely on them, and they build strong foundations that benefit both themselves and their communities. However, they may experience difficulties with friendships and feel they do not fit in, preferring to be selective about their associations. Letting go of control and trusting the universe can help them realize their dreams and learn from others. They might be intrigued by the forbidden. Although generally people-friendly and sympathetic, understanding others' needs can be challenging. Learning tolerance and practicing forgiveness are crucial. They employ order, organization, discipline, and tact in unconventional ways, and their ability to see things from a new perspective is a strength. However, they can be serious, impersonal, distant, and overly scientific. Negatively, they can be bossy, cold, and prone to anger when faced with opposition. Overcoming the fear of failure is vital to achieving their dreams. Saturn in Aquarius individuals are flexible, justice-loving, compassionate, and service-oriented. They have a strong desire to lead and guide others. This placement endows them with a powerful concentration, working hard for personal and communal betterment. They are impartial, considering all sides before making rational decisions, but can be socially isolated due to pride. There may be tendencies toward addiction. For success, they must adopt a tolerant, impartial public attitude and develop intuition and original thinking. Applying these skills practically enhances their happiness. They can appear cold in relationships, always seeking truth and understanding the broader picture. Loyalty is a hallmark in friendships, and maintaining a good social status is crucial. A well-aspected Saturn brings high concentration, strong intellect, and initial success, often through innovative ideas and social reforms. Conversely, a poorly aspected Saturn can lead to egoism and spiritual arrogance. Tolerance and forgiveness are necessary for inner peace. Generally, Saturn in Aquarius individuals can foresee environmental impacts, enabling quick decision-making. They are effective leaders, known and loved by others, and exhibit persistence and patience. They find success in psychology, sociology, journalism, invention, and literature. They must overcome intellectual and spiritual arrogance, consistently developing selflessness.

🪬 pisces saturn

Individuals with Saturn in Pisces tend to see the negative side of things and feel a strong compulsion to help others. They often struggle with examining and accepting their past, which is essential for their growth. Building self-confidence is a critical task for them. They need to avoid getting overly involved in others' problems, reduce defensiveness, and trust their intuition. Health concerns may include issues with their feet and lymphatic system. In early childhood, these individuals often felt unnoticed and unappreciated, with their talents going unrecognized. They may have faced false accusations and frequent injustices, leading to a sense of isolation. Living in their own world was a common escape from harsh realities. Over time, they develop a stronger connection with their subconscious, though they may still grapple with past issues. Their vivid imagination can enhance their writing skills. However, their tendency to take things personally often results in self-imposed isolation and self-pity. With Saturn in Pisces, setting boundaries and maintaining discipline can be challenging. Everyday life may sometimes feel overwhelming and disorganized, leading to feelings of being lost. These individuals are intuitive, empathetic, sensitive, imaginative, and self-sacrificing. As practical idealists, they might take life too seriously, believing current problems stem from past actions. They may find fulfillment working behind the scenes, such as in research or institutions. Prone to indecision and moodiness, they often react emotionally to negative situations and people. If they perceive failure or unfair treatment, it can lead to depression. Developing confidence in the future and letting go of the past are crucial. Sharing their experiences can facilitate soul growth. Letting others in can help overcome feelings of guilt, self-doubt, and anxiety, leading to a more fulfilling life. They have a strong affinity for creative fields like art or spirituality and are likely to pursue careers in these areas. Despite appearing confident, they may secretly lack self-assurance and seek a bright future. To improve their well-being, they should clear their minds, go with the flow, and avoid restlessness, defensiveness, and overthinking. Establishing a regular sleep routine is beneficial, as sleep problems are common. Their advice is often valuable, and they understand that soul awakening is a gradual process. Women with this placement may prefer quiet, introspective activities over social gatherings. These individuals are spiritual and may get lost in daydreams. They should stop blaming themselves and avoid negative energy. While they are empathetic towards others, they often lack self-awareness and undervalue themselves. They can achieve success in literature, scientific research, or metaphysics but may have a tendency toward depression, chronic illnesses, and mental disorders. Though some may be escapists, Saturn in Pisces individuals are idealistic and compassionate. They recognize the world's problems and believe they can help. They might experience deep fears of abandonment but will find joy in their own company. Such individuals often feel the need for support and may appear unreliable and emotionally isolated. With positive development, they become conscientious, sympathetic, understanding, and kind-hearted. Despite their loyalty and tolerance, their contributions may go unrecognized. Their profound feelings and intellectual inspiration drive a need for complete self-surrender. They often live a life marked by loneliness, dreams, and unfulfilled hopes. Patience, reserve, and shyness are common traits, and there may be risks of alcoholism, drug addiction, or fascination with magic and ecstasy.

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starkeyisthelastname · 8 months ago

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okay y’all, we are jumping into this. pornstar!rafe makes a big decision. ⭐️ (thank you to my bae @oceandriveab for her request and being so patient! 💖 )

He had quite literally fucked you to sleep after storming off set all because he couldn’t get his dick up because he had you on his mind. He knew the decision he had to make and that was one he never thought he would ever do and that quit filming professionally. Even if he hadn’t opened up to you much at all, and he was terrified of confessing his feelings to someone he only had ever fucked, he couldn’t continue on with this career because his addiction was now you.

You should have known better than to answer the door because as you woke up the next morning with a sore body, an empty bed and no sign or explanation from Rafe. You should have expected this and him telling you he couldn’t work anymore because he couldn’t get you off his mind was a bunch of bullshit. He told you from the start he loved pussy too much to ever quit, and you should have stopped falling for him right there. You may been acting on high emotions, but you picked up your phone and began texting him.

Rafe’s phone had been on silent when he had met with his agent and manager. He flat out told them that he was done and they laughed, an amused look on both of their faces. The ‘pussy slayer’ was retiring at 30? There was no way. Everyone knew how much he loved pussy, I mean.. what else was he gonna do? Even if he hadn’t told you much about him, or knew much about you, he knew what he felt for you was enough for him to find a new purpose in life. He knew he said he needed to take baby steps because this was all new to him, but he was tired of the jealousy he constantly felt, the way he couldn’t get you off his fucking mind. He had to show you how he felt and then would let everything fall into place after, it could have been a reckless decision but he didn’t care.

‘I don’t expect a relationship with you, but when you come to my house and tell me that I’m yours just to dip off without any explanation is bullshit Rafe. I can’t do these games with you anymore. You wanna focus on work so bad. Fine. So will I.’

You had blocked him after you sent it, whether it was right or wrong. You didn’t want to, in fact it hurt you to think about Rafe not being in your life. What hurt worse though was how this man had ruined you to the point he never left your mind, that every time he shot a scene with someone else you were filled with nothing but jealousy, and that you couldn’t continue on knowing he would constantly feed you this shit so that he could get a nut in a few times a week. Your insecurities were becoming overshadowed by fear, because you had no idea what Rafe had just done.

You had a feeling you knew who it was by the heavy knocks on your door. You didn’t want to answer and you wanted to tell him to go away. Your own body betrayed you as you began walking over to the door to answer it. He better have a damn good reason on why he was here after his little Houdini act he pulled.

“You wanna block me now?” Rafe asked, stepping through the door without another thought.

You shrugged, arms crossed over your chest as you challenged him. “Why does it matter Rafe? I should have never got my feelings involved with someone who only cares about fucking on camera and getting money from it.” You told him, avoiding his gaze. Maybe it was your own fault because he didn’t know exactly how you felt, but he certainly didn’t make it easy for you. When he whispered sweet shit in your ear it made you feel like you could tell him that you were falling for him. It would then reel back to you being afraid of rejection because he would disappear, or talk about how he loved his career too much to ever quit.

“Do you even know what I was doing? I was firing my agent and my manager because I told them I was done fucking doing porn.” He said, causing your eyes to meet his.

You didn’t believe him. There was no way the man who was obsessed with sex and couldn’t even give you a real reason on why he became a pornstar in the first place had really quit. You laughed, did he really think you were that dumb? “You are lying. You’ve hit an all time low if you think that you can tell me something like that just to fuck me again.” You said with a scoff.

Rafe did a lot of punk shit to try and hide his feelings from you, but this wasn’t something he would joke about. He laughed, shaking his head. “You think I’m lying? I fuckin quit because I love you!” He said, blurting it out before he stopped himself. It was like once he said it, he couldn’t stop the rest from flowing as he continued on. “You don’t understand how hard this is for me! This career is the only thing I have had that has made me feel worth something because I fucked everything else up in my life. This is what made me feel invincible and that I could be somebody. I don’t have anyone else because everyone pushed me away due to my choices. Then I meet you and I don’t even fucking know you, but I feel this insane connection that absolutely terrifies me. It scares me the way I feel about you, and that I really should be taking baby steps. I.. I just can’t though. I don’t want to fuck this up like I did everything else, but… I am fucking in love with you and fucking random girls on camera just to get money isn’t worth losing you over.” He told you.

This was the first time Rafe had ever truly been honest with you and you could read it all over his face. You swallowed the lump in your throat as he stepped closer, taking you by the hands as he pulled you closer. “Let me show you.” He whispered in the softest voice you had ever heard him use. You didn’t know what he meant by that, but there was no way you were turning him away.

No matter how much you loved the brutal sex the two of you shared and we’re sure there was more of that to come, this was an entirely new feeling you both were experiencing. He was being gentle with you for the first time, pouring every ounce of confusing emotions and feelings he had into you. He had you in a deep missionary position, his toned hips grinding into yours as he buried his head in your neck. “You are so goddamn beautiful.” He whispered in a breathy groan.

His cock somehow felt 10 times bigger when he went slow and it was throwing you off at how good this fucking felt. Tears streamed down your face much like the first time he had ever fucked you, but for an entirely different reason. You overwhelmed by love, clinging onto him life a lifeline as you were afraid to let him go. He had ruined you for any other man and right now you were perfectly fine with that. “Rafe… you feel so fucking good..” You whimpered, your eyes rolling back at a little as his tip kept brushing over your g-spot.

Rafe groaned into your smooth skin, his lips traveling across your collarbone and across your jaw line until he met your eyes. He knew he must have really been in love with you because he had never made love and didn’t know he was capable of such a thing. He knew his nasty side was inevitable but he really was determined to show you that he was serious about this.

“Yeah baby, say my fuckin name. That’s yours to say. All yours… my sweet angel.” His words firm but genuine as his lips ghosted over yours. The way you made him feel was better than any drug or any career, and he knew no matter how scary this was for him, you were his girl without a doubt.

The tears flowed even more as he said that, your eyes falling into his ocean ones as his cock explored every inch of you. Your lower tummy fluttered and head spun as you felt an insane orgasm approaching. “Rafe… you’re gonna make me cum. Please don’t stop.. please.” You nearly begged him, manicured nails digging into the skin of his back.

Rafe had always prided himself for being able to go many rounds before cumming. He was so overwhelmed with love, that he knew he was wasn’t going to last long. “I’m not baby, I fuckin got you. Yeah? Cum all over my cock.” He whispered against your lips before pulling you in for a deep kiss.

You couldn’t help but sob at his words, trying your best to focus on the kiss as your orgasm started to take over. You screamed his name, not caring who heard, as this moment was way too important. You shuddered against him, wrapping your legs around his waist to trap him in as his thrusts started to get sloppy. He didn’t know what you had done to him, but he found himself going back to whisper in your ear as he started slowly coming undone. “I’m gonna fuckin fill you up baby, this is all for you..” He breathed out, voice rugged as his nuts tightened and eyes rolled back at your cunt still squeezing him in.

Rafe’s groans were sweet music to your ears as his seed warmed your insides, this time followed by a gentle raspy voice whispering against your skin. “I love you..” He told you, the butterflies hitting your belly and your face breaking out into a beautiful smile.

“I love you.” You whispered back.

Rafe hadn’t said that to someone or heard it back since before he had lost his family. This was the first girl he had ever felt this way about and while the two of you may have been jumping into something that was unclear and had a lot of questions that needed to be answered, he knew this was all worth it.

#rafe cameron #pornstar!rafe #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron prompt #rafe cameron blurb #rafe cameron concepts #rafe concepts #outerbanks rafe #rafe outer banks #drew starkey #drew starkey x reader #drew starkey smut #obx #obx smut #outer banks

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sxorpiomooon · 26 days ago

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What do people from your professional setting/career think of you?

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Pile 1-

OOO very mysterious yet magnetic. Someone who's very reserved yet people constantly want to be close to you or be able to understand you I keep hearing "get a piece of you" haunted by beyonce is playing in my head. People might also feel like you are someone who hides alot or has alot of secrets and might always want a piece with it however this somehow just makes them respect you even more. Alot of people have their noses in your business and might evesdrope. Moon might be prominent in your S10 chart I'm seeing 1h or 8h cancer asc? Sun rahu grahan yog in some manner. I also think you don't talk much and are reserved however people naturally seem to look up to you perhaps this is due to your magnetic presence. People in your professional setting might also not have any idea of what or how you are like in your personal spaces? It's something that's very hard for them to imagine I'm seeing. They might see you as someone who's to the point and is only there to get their job done. Mostly focused on themselves and the job that they're supposed to do and indifferent to everyone and everything else.

Pile 2-

the first thing I got was virgo and then what my cards say is that people might misunderstand you alot at first not because of you but because of them? Like I just see that they will fear you already when you meet them therefore causing misinterpretations or confusions. They think of you as someone who's very quick to get things done you might be very excellent at tackling positions I'm seeing mars exalted or mars in 6h? You guys might be good in management positions as well I just see you guys storming in and getting everything done. Very quick do you guys wear heels alot or is it a metaphor. Someone who's constantly doing something or achieving something I'm constantly seeing moments "jesus does she ever chill" is what I heard. You will have alot of people working under you in the future if not now. Someone who's always on the feet sort of like if there's a problem everyone will just stare at you because they known you'll get it done.

Pile 3-

People have alot of thoughts about you I can tell even before you are there however people might be too quick to judge you or might not take you seriously at first? This might be because of your age or like you being the only woman in the workplace there is some sort of inequality that you guys might have to face and you might have people taking advantage of you because of that but it's because you'll achieve alot at a young age? This pile also has alot of people that really don't want to work? You guys should travel this is random but currently this pile should just live I'm genuinely not getting anything about a job I just feel like this pile will have a turn in their life where they might give up on these things and just learn to have fun. This pile has some cool ass people tho I see you guys travelling alot in the future and making alot of friends also self employed.

Pile 4-

The outsmarter, the mastermind, the one who wins above everything and everyone. It's like you win in the end and you manage to find your way in situations people wouldn't even survive in. You are also someone who is able to just find a way? I see people just being so impressed by you. This pile might only rarely receive compliments and it's not because you don't do good work but because you literally leave people stunned. There is alot of jealousy too like people see what you do and they are just stunned because it never occurred to them to do that. Your mind works in ways they cannot even comprehend of. This pile is filled with leaders that are visionaries and are always able to see the bigger picture. Alot of times people might also feel like you are betraying them or harming them in some way? Like you are too clever but cmon manipulation is also intelligence. You are also someone who has been through alot yet has managed to secure this position. Sun rahu conjunction in a water sign in 1h.

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gf2bellamy · 1 month ago

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fear — spencer reid

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader ( no use of y/n ) summary: after a difficult day at work, spencer is now convinced that continuing to date you puts your life in danger. content warnings: mention of death, talking about an officer watching his girlfriend die, lots of angst and sadness a/n: hello why did i break my own heart writing this

Spencer ascended the stairs to your apartment, each step feeling heavier than the last.

Cases always took something from him, left invisible scars no one else could see. But this one? This one had carved into him deeper than most.

By the time he reached your floor, he stopped, staring at your door at the end of the hall. His hand gripped the keys you’d given him months ago, the metal cold against his skin.

You had handed them to him with a soft smile, saying it just made sense considering how often he stayed over. He remembered the warmth in your eyes, the way you’d trusted him so easily.

But now, standing outside your apartment, that memory only added to the knot in his chest.

This case hadn’t just been hard—it had been devastating. The victim’s name echoed in his mind: a woman who had been vibrant, kind, and full of life until her boyfriend—a detective working the case—had been unable to protect her.

The unsub had used her as leverage, exploiting the detective’s devotion to gain the upper hand.

And just like that, she was gone.

Spencer had watched the man crumble. The detective had blamed himself for being too close, for caring too much, for letting his personal life overlap with his work.

It hit too close to home for Spencer.

He took another step forward, his heart pounding as he stared at your door. His fingers tightened around the keys, and for a moment, he debated turning back.

The words the detective had said haunted him. “If I hadn’t loved her, she’d still be alive. I should’ve kept my distance.”

Spencer couldn’t stop thinking about it. Was he putting you at risk just by being with you? His job didn’t allow him to separate personal and professional—every case bled into his life.

Every loss, every fear, every failure. And if one day his work found its way to you? He didn’t think he could survive that.

He unlocked the door, the familiar sound of the tumblers clicking echoing loudd in the quiet hallway.

The soft light spilling from the kitchen gave the space a warmth that felt almost jarring after the day he’d had.

His gaze found you instantly, your back turned as you moved around the kitchen. You were making tea.

He must’ve made some noise, maybe the soft click of the door closing or the shuffle of his feet, because you turned around.

The second your eyes landed on him, your face lit up with a smile so genuine it made his heart ache.

“Spence,” you said softly, setting down your cup without hesitation. You crossed the room in a few quick steps, your arms already reaching for him as you enveloped him in a tight hug.

Your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him close, while his instinctively settled around your waist. For a moment, he just stood there, letting himself be held.

You smelled like chamomile tea and faint traces of your favorite lotion—comforting and familiar.

“You’re home,” you murmured against his shoulder, your voice filled with quiet relief.

He swallowed hard, his throat tight with emotion. “Yeah,” he managed to whisper, his voice barely audible.

You pulled back just enough to look up at him, your hands sliding down to rest on his shoulders. Your brows knit together as you studied his face. “Rough day?”

He nodded slowly, his hazel eyes dark and heavy with exhaustion. “You could say that,” he admitted.

Your fingers moved to his face, brushing a stray curl from his forehead as you searched his expression. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He hesitated.

“I don’t know,” he said honestly, his voice soft. He stared at you for a long moment, his heart aching with a mix of love and guilt.

You studied him carefully, your brows furrowing as you tried to read him. Something was off—more than just the usual weight he carried after a hard case.

He wasn’t just tired; he was troubled, deeply so.

“Do you want tea?” you asked gently, hoping to coax him into some sense of comfort.

He shook his head, his movements stiff, almost mechanical. “I, uh…” he stuttered, his voice unusually small. “I’m not staying,” he mumbled, barely loud enough for you to hear.

The words hit you like a jolt, and your hand, which had been resting lightly on his arm, fell away.

“Oh,” you breathed out, the single syllable heavy with confusion and concern. “Why? Are you okay?”

You tilted your head slightly, searching his face for an explanation, but he barely met your gaze. His eyes darted everywhere but to yours.

“I think we—” he started, then stopped abruptly. His jaw clenched as he closed his eyes, as though trying to summon the strength to get the words out. “I think we should break up,” he finally said, his voice cracking under the weight of it.

Your mouth fell open in shock, the air suddenly feeling thick and hard to breathe. “What?” you whispered, barely able to process what you’d just heard.

“I…” Spencer’s voice faltered as he ran a trembling hand through his curls, his shoulders slumping. “I just think it’s for the best,” he murmured, still refusing to meet your gaze.

“For the best?” you repeated, your voice rising slightly in disbelief. “Spencer, what are you talking about? Did I do something wrong?”

“No!” he said quickly, almost too loudly. He flinched at his own outburst, finally glancing at you before looking away again, his guilt written all over his face. “It’s not you. It’s not anything you did. It’s me. My job. My… everything.”

“What?” you repeated, your voice barely above a whisper, laced with confusion and disbelief. You stared at him, trying to make sense of the words he was saying, but they didn’t seem real. Your brain felt foggy, like it was struggling to keep up with what was happening.

Your chest tightened as you fought to hold back the tears threatening to spill over. You couldn’t believe this was happening.

Not now, not like this.

Spencer still wouldn’t meet your eyes. His gaze darted to the floor, to the wall, back to the floor—anywhere but at you.

But occasionally, his eyes flickered up, and in those fleeting moments, you saw it. The pain. The guilt. His own tears welling just behind his lashes.

“Spence,” you said again, your voice breaking as you bit down on your lip to steady yourself.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, so softly it was almost inaudible.

You shook your head, your brow furrowing as you stared at him, searching for some kind of explanation. “Where is this coming from?” you asked, the tremor in your voice betraying the effort it took to hold yourself together.

“Why, Spence?” you pressed, your voice rising slightly, tinged with desperation. “Why are you doing this? I don’t understand.”

His lips parted, but no sound came out. He seemed to struggle, as if the words he wanted to say were caught somewhere in his throat. He dragged a hand through his curls, a shaky breath escaping him as he finally forced himself to speak.

“I don’t want to lose you,” he said, his voice raw with emotion.

You blinked, your tears finally spilling over. “Lose me?” you repeated, your voice breaking. “Spencer, what are you talking about? You’re the one pushing me away right now!”

He winced at your words, his head bowing as though they physically hurt him. “Because I’m trying to protect you,” he said, his voice cracking.

“Protect me?” You shook your head, utterly bewildered. “From what? Spencer, I don’t need protecting. I just need you.”

His head snapped up then, his eyes finally locking onto yours, and the sheer pain in his gaze nearly broke you.

“You don’t understand,” he said, his voice shaky. “This job—it’s dangerous. Every day, I see how fragile life is, how quickly it can be taken away. I see people lose the ones they love because of… because of monsters like the ones we chase. And I—” He stopped, his voice catching. “I can’t let that happen to you. I can’t let you get hurt because of me.”

You stared at him, stunned into silence for a moment. Then you took a step closer, your voice trembling.

“And what about me?” you asked. “Do you think it’ll hurt less if you leave? Do you think I’ll stop worrying about you just because you’re not here anymore? Spencer, I’ll still love you. I’ll still worry. The only difference is I’ll have to do it alone.”

Spencer shook his head, his curls bouncing slightly with the movement as a tear slipped free and traced a path down his cheek.

His lips parted, trembling with the weight of his words. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice cracking. “I’m really sorry.” He repeated it, the words tumbling out of him like a mantra as if saying them enough times would make it all hurt less.

And then he took a step back.

“Spencer,” you uttered, your voice so quiet, so heartbreakingly fragile that it felt like it could shatter under the weight of the moment.

It was a sound he would not forget—a sound that would haunt him.

His gaze flickered to your face, and when he saw the tears freely falling down your cheeks, his breath caught in his throat. You weren’t trying to hide them. You weren’t even wiping them away.

They were just there and it was his fault.

He couldn’t believe that he was the reason for your pain. The reason for the hurt that now etched itself into every inch of your expression.

But he told himself it was for you. He told himself it was for your safety.

Spencer cleared his throat, his voice hollow as he tried to explain. “There was an officer on this case,” he began, his words slow and deliberate, as though forcing himself to relive it. “He was one of the first responders to the crime scenes. Dedicated. Smart. He had been working the case for weeks, just like us.”

You stayed silent, your watery eyes locked on his face as you listened.

Spencer took another shaky breath, running a hand through his curls in frustration. “He had a girlfriend,” he said, his voice cracking on the word. “She wasn’t involved. She had nothing to do with the case—she wasn’t even in law enforcement. But somehow…” He trailed off, swallowing hard.

“Somehow the unsub found out about her,” he continued, his voice barely above a whisper. “And he—” Spencer stopped, his hands balling into fists at his sides. “He used her to get to him. Killed her. Right in front of him.”

Your breath hitched, as you took in the horror of his words.

Spencer’s tears were falling freely now, his voice trembling as he kept going. “I saw the officer after it happened. He was… broken. Completely destroyed. And I kept thinking… that could be me. That could be you.”

“Spencer,” you said softly, but he shook his head, cutting you off.

“You don’t understand,” he said, his voice rising slightly in frustration—not at you, but at himself. “Every single day, I walk into work knowing that I could lose someone I care about. Knowing that I could be the reason they’re gone. And if that someone, is you—” His voice cracked again, and he looked away, unable to finish the sentence.

“But it won’t be me, Spence,” you said, your voice trembling but determined. You took a small step closer, desperate to reach through the wall he was building around himself. “It doesn’t have to be me. We don’t have to let fear decide this for us.”

He didn’t respond, his jaw tightening as he stared down at the floor. You could see the battle raging within him—the love he felt for you colliding with the fear that had taken root in his heart.

“Spence,” you said again, softer this time. “I know you’re scared. I know you’ve seen things I can’t even imagine. But just because something terrible happened to someone else doesn’t mean it’s going to happen to us. It doesn’t mean I’m going to get hurt.”

He finally looked up at you, and the anguish in his eyes was enough to shatter your heart all over again.

“You don’t know that,” he said, his voice low but steady, like he was forcing himself to say the words out loud. “You can’t know that.”

You swallowed hard, your hands trembling as you reached for him again. “No, I don’t know that,” you admitted, your voice breaking. “But you don’t know it will happen either. We don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that. No one does.”

He closed his eyes for a moment, exhaling deeply. “This is about protecting you.” he said quietly, shaking his head. “It’s about making sure that you don’t end up another name, another victim, because of me.”

You stared at him, the weight of his words pressing down on you. “But you’re hurting me now,” you whispered, tears slipping down your cheeks. “You’re so afraid of something that might never happen that you’re pushing me away before it even has a chance to.”

Spencer flinched as if you had physically struck him, his shoulders sagging. He dragged a hand down his face, letting out a shaky breath.

“I’d rather you hate me for this,” he said finally, his voice barely audible, “than lose you because of me.”

The silence between you was deafening. You stood there, your tears falling freely now as the meaning of his words sank in.

He wasn’t going to change his mind. No matter how much it hurt him, no matter how much it hurt you, he was convinced this was the right thing to do.

“Spencer,” you said, your voice breaking, “please don’t do this.”

His breath hitched, and for a moment, it looked like he might break—like he might give in to the love that was so clearly written all over his face.

But then he closed his eyes, shaking his head as he stepped back once more.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice trembling with the weight of his decision. “I’m so, so sorry.”

And with that, he turned and walked toward the door, his footsteps heavy with regret. He paused for just a moment as he reached for the doorknob, his hand lingering.

But then he opened the door.

When he stepped out, the sound of it closing behind him was like the final nail in the coffin.

You stood there, frozen in place, staring at the spot where he had just been. Your chest ached, your hands trembling as you tried to process what had just happened.

Spencer Reid—the man you loved, the man who loved you—was gone. And no amount of love or pleading had been enough to stop him.

So you stood there, letting the tears fall, your heart breaking for both of you. Because even though he had made his choice, you knew that he was walking away just as shattered as you were.

#criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #criminal minds x you #spencer reid #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds fic #criminal minds angst

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neuvilette-tea-party · 3 months ago

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｡ﾟ•┈୨ Le temps de guérir Part 1 ୧┈• ｡ﾟ

Steb x F!reader

The herald's grip just released and all the Medics organize helps to all the wounded, you are no exception. That's when your dear Mentor reappears, wounded, disoriented, and definitely mute...

Tags: angst, pining, Steb definitely has guilt and PTSD, slow burn, trust the process

Request open for Best boy Steb <3

“There...” You judge with a voice you want comforting, “Your wounds are minor.” You tidy up your utensils in your pouches, infinitely relieved that your mentor is okay. The wounds were impressive but superficial.

Steb was your mentor for almost two years, teaching you medicine in warzones and you grew incredibly attached to the aquatic Vastaya Enforcer. Too attached for a simple Mentor/protegé relationship to be honest, but you keep it professional. Steb never appeared inclined to try relationships other than cordial and friendly with his colleagues and kept his private life a secret.

For all you know, he could be happily married with a large family and you would be none the wiser!

But when you saw the blood on his blue jacket while he was helping a wounded civilian to reach the infirmary tents, you almost dropped everything to rush to him. You managed to grab his arm at some point to force him to sit down and let you examine his body. You disinfected and dressed the wounds cautiously, making sure not to cause him pain in the process. He let you do it, in his usual mutism.

But he is... more silent than usual.

His muscles are also hard, contracted like under a lot of tension that he cannot get rid of. You refrain from proposing a massage, not that you would mind, but he is more modest than the usual civilian, he would probably not tolerate such contact.

Fair enough.

You check the bandages one last time, standing behind him, silencing your beating heart. This is the first time you see him without a shirt and you wish it would have been in other circumstances…You gently pat his naked shoulder.

“There you go, Steb.” You say warmly.

He turns his head towards you and contemplates your face in silence. You thought he was about to say something but he just... looks at you, mute, detailing all of your face so intensely you do not know what to do under such scrutiny.

“Hum.... Is there a problem?” You finally ask, your throat dry before his gaze.

He blinks, like he realized he was fixing you and slowly shakes his head, his gaze returning to the ground, but he takes your hand holding his shoulder in his, and squeezes it as to say thank you.

“You are welcome Steb.” You warmly say, still a bit shaken.

You take off your hand and it seems to you he tries to hold it back...

But that must be your delusion speaking.

“Do you hold on?” You ask, turning your back to him to observe your two hands covered in dead scales.

His organism has evidently been put through a lot of stress. You wash them and make some order on the table, putting the soiled instruments in a sink while the sterilized ones return in a large drawer.

You only hear a deep sigh in response. Understandable. Everything happened so quickly... Ambessa’s army, the herald,... That freaky mind stuff they did, still gives you shivers down your spine. But as soon as your mind was freed from the Herald’s influence, all the medics started to organize themself, rushing to the victims despite their own wounds and fears. You have been running in all directions for almost 24 hours by now and only now did you cross paths with your dear aquatic Vastaya...

You turn back to your mentor, cleaning a scalpel with an alcoholic wipe.

“What about Maddie and Loris?” You ask, “I did not see them anywhere.”

A single shudder courses him and his shoulders lower like all strength left him, elbows resting on his knees he passes a hand in his hair with another sigh.

Oh...

You leave the scalpel to the side and pull on the tent’s opening to close it, giving you a bit of intimacy. You come kneeling in front of him, trying to catch a glimpse of his turquoise gaze.

“Steb...” You try, “Do you want to talk about it?” You offer soflty.

His nostrils flare in a clear no. Whatever happened, he isn’t willing to talk about it, at least not now... Or just not to you...

You boldly caress his cheek, making him angle his head towards you. So many emotions lay in his blue eyes

Confusion

Pain

tenderness

Shame

Embarrasment

Sadness

You offer him a gentle and supportive smile.

“Whatever happened... It was not your fault, Steb.” You say gently.

You know nothing of what happened, but you know for a fact that Steb always does good and tries his best all the time.

You know it in your soul.

His pupils widen at your words and his cheek scales wave a single time as his ears perk up, proof of his inner turmoil.

“It was not your fault, I know it.” You repeat in a whisper, giving him your undying support.

He lets out a short breath, like he was holding it all this time, and his own hand clasps around yours, brushing his cheek in your palm softly. He seems to savor the contact and your words like it was everything he wanted to hear.

The only words he desperatly needed to hear to go on.

You stand up, looking into his ocean eyes, drowning with pleasure in his intelligent gaze, your thumb brushing his cheek scales fondly.

“And if anyone dares say it is your fault, I’ll personally handle them, you can count on me.” You grin tightly, trying to make him smile too.

Steb considers you before slowly closing his eyes and brushing his cheek in your palm before pulling your hand to his lips and tenderly kissing the supple flesh like a precious relic.

You open your mouth agape at that move and before you can take off your hand he stands up too, towering with all his height, looking down at you, and takes a step forward.

Caught unaware you take a step back and he follows until your lower back hits a table, blocking you between the furniture and Steb’s tall body. He did not release your hand and his own comes to cup your cheek infinitely softly, caressing the skin with the tip of his magical fingers like he would brush the petals of a rose.

“...Steb?” You ask with a dry throat, unsure of what came over him.

He details...

Devour your face with his eyes, pressing his body against yours, gently tilting your head back as he leans forward, brushing the tips of your noses together...

Your breath gets stuck in your throat while his cheek scales wave and his ears shake, tension coursing his muscles like a dark ocean, keeping you on your toes. He looks deeply into your eyes like he could read your soul through them, his third eyelid blinking once.

He seems to wait for something

From you

Your consent

Obviously.

Your brain completely blue screens, leaving you absolutely useless between his hands.

What the hell is happening? Your mentor, about whom you’ve been fantasizing a romantic life with for two years, the man you headcannoned was already married, the man you ardently desired and thought was dead during the attack before reappearing like a flower, wounded but alive, awaits your permission to kiss you?

Your trembling free hand discreetly pinches the skin of your thighs, making you wince and realize that no, you are not dreaming nor hallucinating this scene...

This

This is all you ever wanted

To know his embrace and warmth against your body, to feel his beating heart against your palm, his hands roaming your skin, his lips brushing yours and his eyes telling you all the love no words on the planet could ever describe...

Waking up in his arms and eating breakfast together, going to work hand in hand and waiting for the other at your favorite café, go back to the same house you both call home, but it always feels empty and cold in the other’s absence...

You must have hit your head in the attack

This is the only logical explanation.

He never demonstrated inclinations toward you. Sure he relaxed enough around you to let the stoic mask slip occasionally, but this is so incredibly rare, you are no closer to him than Maddie or Loris.

He...

“Steb, no.” You finally breathe after a difficult gulp.

His eyes round up slightly as his cheek fins freeze still.

“Steb, you must be in some sort of shock. You are wounded and disoriented, you do not know what you are doing.” You continue, “Sleep for a bit, I’ll bring you a warm meal after, all right? You... You need to rest.”

This is for the best.

He doesn’t know what he is doing, he might regret it later!

You are his former protege and friend, this is not like him.

Out of respect for him, you must stop this madness. He is in no state to consent himself.

He considers you, shock appearing in his turquoise eyes as his breath gets stuck in his throat. His ears lower as he takes a step back, letting his hands fall back to his side and you cannot help but feel like one of you two made a huge mistake right now.

But you can’t say who.

You force your mouth into a friendly smile and gently guide him back to sit on the bunk.

“There... Take a nap, I’ll bring you something to eat, you must be starving. Lay down, make yourself comfortable. I... I will come back.”

You exit the tent in shambles while Steb fixed the ceiling intently.

You pace the entire camp, your brain scrambled, trying to make sense of what happened, biting down your thumb’s nail.

Steb... Isn’t like himself, you saw it yourself. He needs care and rest, but maybe not from you...

When you reenter the tent with a fuming lentil curry, Steb and his uniform are nowhere to be found.

Like they were never here to begin with...

#arcane imagine #arcane #arcane fic #arcane x reader #steb #steb my love #steb arcane #steb x reader #steb fics #steb imagine

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nopanamaman · 4 months ago

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What’s the deal with Tsar and Arthur?

Today we’ll look at the two most popular members of Sanya and Yura’s friend group, Tsar and Arthur, a.k.a. Anger Management. How did they meet? What’s their life like? And most importantly, why the hell are they so angsty?

Let’s start with the older one.

Arthur Sokolov

Joining the orphanage

Arthur was brought to the orphanage not long after being born. He never met any of his parents.

Growing up in a state-funded shelter meant developing a clear understanding of what kinds of behaviours will and won’t result in getting your shit kicked in. You can’t be too cocky, and you can’t be too weak. Follow the hierarchy, but don’t let your fear of elders show.

Arthur learned to navigate that little society well. He had earned respect among kids his own age and younger, and avoided being pushed around by the older teenagers too much. Less due to a noble heart and more because of being too proud to act like a doormat.

However, that didn't make him immune to peer pressure.

Correctional psychiatry

Business trip.

Many low-end orphanages across the former USSR had been essentially transformed into incubators for future gang members. “Businessmen”, either by bribe or threat, came to these institutions to recruit impressionable children into their organisations. One such uncle visited Arthur’s foster home.

For kids like him, the course of action was simple:

misbehave;

get sent to a mental institution for corrective treatment;

sneak as many bottles of trihexyphenidyl as you can into your bag during your stay;

leave the hospital as normal;

transfer the trihexyphenidyl to a gang representative and get your paycheck.

Under that business model, Arthur became a frequent guest at psychiatric wards. Having witnessed their indifference and medical callousness firsthand, he had developed a massive disdain for all kinds of mental health professionals.

It started even before joining the gang, of course – way before. It’s hard not to foster a vendetta when you get thrown to the looney bin for any misstep. At first he tried to honestly convince the doctors working there that he was fine, but he eventually realised it was futile: they were always in on the punishment.

Hustling continues

Arthur and Ivan at 15 and 17 respectively.

As Arthur grew older, he got more deeply involved with the gang’s activities alongside other kids. This meant participating in transfers, standing watch during certain deals, acting as a “treasure man” (i.e. hiding drugs in agreed upon places for clients to pick up), and so on. Fights were frequent.

He knew it was a slippery slope, but getting out was not an option – not an easy one, at least. This was the period during which he grew close to Ivan, who was commonly assigned to work with Arthur and other children from their institute.

They bonded on the basis of wanting to leave the business, though for different reasons: most of all, Ivan didn’t want to disappoint his grandma.

Getting out

First meeting with Yura.

The sudden disbandment of the gang was a relief to both Ivan and Arthur. A major member got caught and ratted almost everyone out, except for the dozens of orphans involved. So while Ivan went to turn himself in, Arthur got to walk free.

Before going, Ivan suggested Arthur replace him at his pop’s car repair salon. The boy seemed to have a knack for fixing things, and the two had developed a trusting relationship over their time working together.

While everything was looking fine, Arthur still wanted to destroy all traces of his activities - even those that couldn’t reasonably be tracked down to him. This led to him encountering Yura. Despite the very rocky start of their acquaintance, they went on to hang out together pretty regularly.

As of today, Arthur continues to do part-time at the workshop alongside Ivan. Both are committed to never getting back into the criminal business. Unless you count Sanya's Dynamo. Which you shouldn't. Having experienced what actual gangs are like, Arthur finds it hard not to look down at the girl's little roleplay.

Tsar

Joining the orphanage

Before coming to the orphanage, Tsar lived with his grandma. She died when he was 6. Since his parents had lost their parental rights due to alcoholism a couple years prior, there was only one place for him to go.

Tsar had a very hard time adjusting to the rigid hierarchy of the foster home. He was lucky enough to catch Arthur's attention and, in a sense, got scooped under his wing. The boy disliked relying on the older kid too much, but was too weak to stand on his own.

Gang involvement

How come mom lets you have two trips to the mental ward

Since Arthur got dragged into gang activities earlier than Tsar, the younger kid felt jealous. He, like most other children, fully bought into the romanticised idea of criminal life that was pushed by the uncles visiting the orphanage.

But as years went on, he saw the toll it had begun to take on Arthur. Tsar had taken a couple of correctional trips to mental wards as well, though he'd never participated in any illegal schemes. Those times were bad enough - he couldn't imagine going there again and again on purpose.

By the time Tsar would be old enough to get recruited into the business, Arthur forbade him from it. The kid still wanted to join to prove his worth, to earn his share, to show his guts. But his trust and respect for Arthur were stronger.

As much as he hated the idea, he stuck to the sidelines.

Contact with parents

Teatime with family.

Tsar’s parents reached out to him a couple years after he was transferred to the orphanage. He could only meet with them under supervision up until he was 13 years old. Afterwards they were allowed private meetings.

Today, he occasionally comes to visit them at their apartment. They still drink, but to Tsar, they just seem quiet and pitiful. He usually lends them the pocket money he receives from the orphanage. He knows they won't return it.

Anger Management

Ural models are known for their incredible durability and a baffling number of switches.

Tsar found a creative release in music and wrote songs to vent his frustrations. The orphanage had an old acoustic guitar that he learned to play, but it got completely broken when the boy was 13. After Arthur joined the workshop, he bought a black Ural from Ivan’s dad for cheap, upgraded its port, and gifted it to Tsar.

As it turned out, Ivan’s dad was hopping from one band to another in the 80s-90s, so he was happy to accommodate the kids' creative endeavours. He allowed them to use the spare garage space to practise and even supplied an incomplete drum set.

Tsar begged Arthur to back him up with drums. The latter begrudgingly agreed to learn them, but ended up really enjoying hitting barrels with sticks. Right now their band has a tiny local following, mostly in the face of Sanya Kazarina.

Some notes

I remember sitting down and reading about actual orphanage experiences in the post-soviet space – it was eye-opening, but also gave me a lot of material to work with, as heartless as that probably sounds. A lot of things simply clicked into place.

I didn't go into too much detail here, but FYI, I've downplayed the severity of certain situations. Trauma aside, I'd say both Tsar and Arthur got quite lucky in the end.

#fixed some awkward wording from the patreon version so hopefully it reads better now #cw alcoholism #cw child abuse #cw medical malpractice #parties are for losers #deepest lore #loredump #bg gang #anger management #arthur #tsar #ivan #yura #sanya #myart #scraps

589 notes · View notes

ziminy · 2 months ago

Text

I'll follow you until you love me

Having actor Gojo as your fan isn't for the weak

Tags: smut, mdni, f!actress reader, actor!Gojo, dark themed, stalking, obsession, jealousy, fan boy Gojo, mind games, lots of lies, manipulation, panties stealing, yandere Gojo, making out, fingering, oral (f receiving), drunk s(e)x, dubious content, people are shipping you and Gojo, fear play, just me going over the top again,

Author's note: thank you for 100 flowers 🤗 I been working on this fic for a while and was waiting for a specific occasion to post it.

Words count: 16k (it doesn't feel like it, I thought it would be less)

Masterlist

The first time Gojo Satoru heard about you was a long time ago. He doesn't really remembers the details but he knows he was so done with hearing about you left and right.

Everybody was praising this new actor who appeared out of a blue, and it was getting on his nerves.

Nothing was known about you, you had no connections to the inside world, your name wasn't affiliated with any big names. It was like you were put on the big screen out of nowhere and lend a big role like the director was forced to.

And his feelings only got bitter the moment he met you in person. Walking into his set one day and greeting everyone left and right, remembering names of some crew members he didn't knew they even existed to begin with.

But the cherry on top was when the director, that was known for being a bit too eccentric, presented you with the biggest smile on. Praising you and talking about how the day is so much better with you there. And you, instead of trying to show off, being humble.

He didn't like it. The way you looked so sweet, how you would laugh at the poorly made jokes and how you left just as soon as you appeared, giving him no chance to actually learn something about you. But he does remember how you promised to buy everybody a drink next time you pass by and how you look forward to his movie.

Another one of his fans? Huh? He thought, being disappointed that you'd be much more easier than he hoped.

But he only ended up being disappointed once again, because a week later you appeared on his set one more time. This time with drinks just as you promised, and the biggest smile on your face talking about the role you're auditioning for and how the set is closer to his. Well, you weren't talking to him directly, but the director. But since you were on his movie set you were practically sets neighbors.

Full of himself, he went to you, expecting you to be excited and faint just from seeing him, since you said you were a fan. But instead you looked at him the way you looked at everybody else, the same business smile on that was basically your free pass card in life. Refusing his invitation to drink with him tonight, talking about keeping it professional and how you don't dare to accept since you respect him too much. Fearing that you might do something that would embarrass yourself in front of him.

It was a lie, he quickly noticed the way your face change as you left with your assistant. A blank expression on your face, that smile disappearing, not having to put an act on as you thought no one saw you. But he did, and it got him thinking, spending the next few days searching and looking at any media form that haves your name on it.

Were you actually pretending? Was everybody's sweetheart actually a liar? Did he actually found dirt on you? What is he going to do with this information? Surely you don't want everybody to know about about it, right?

But when he thought he had you, a scandal with your name all over it was the only thing everybody was talking about. How your company was mistreating you and how you finally managed to break ties with them. And it didn't helped that everybody on his set was whining about you not asking for help, and how they noticed your sudden demeanor but didn't said a thing.

Now you had people fighting over you to join entertainment companies. Biggest names arguing about which one was better for you, you even had his company begging you to join them. And now he was stuck with hearing your name once again.

It didn't stopped any time soon, because somehow, miraculously, you decided to sign a contract with his company.

It was like you decided to torture him, play with his mind and lead him on even if you clearly set some boundaries between the two of you. Were you playing hard to get? Because after all those nights awake he learned that you didn't get involved with anyone in the industry. You refused executives after executives, big actors and renowned directors. You would rather get banned from the industry than being known for giving any kind of services or being known as someone's partner.

He didn't knew if he was supposed to be proud or get mad at how stupid you were acting.

But it got him even more invested. And now you had him watching every single thing you appeared in. It could be a small role, you could just appear in the background for a second and he'll memorize the entire movie.

Soon he got bored of that, and he moved into interviews, appearances or just people speculations, the nda you sign or make people sign. He still remembers about that time you got a nobody as your partner and kept him around for a few months. Even so, it didn't changed a thing about his interest in you.

His room was filled with you, pictures, posters, stuff from movies you acted in. His whole house was like this in fact. His closet filled with stuff you wore, you could even find the same products you use in his bathroom.

And the less attention you pay him, the more obsessed he became. Spraying his bed with your perfume every time you went on a date with your little nobodies, sometimes even asking people from your sets about you, not daring to get to close to you so you won't acknowledge him, even if he's dying to get your attention.

Imagine his surprise when you first acted in the same thing. Well, not really because he auditioned for the same movie as you, trying for a role that had it's screentime at the same time as yours. But he didn't really expect to get it. Oh who is he lying to? He called the director and demanded to play by your side, talking about how he wants to try new things and putting a act on so nobody would rat him out.

Just as soon as the roles were revealed to the public, he even hired a few people to post about the two of you online. But he did got hit by surprise from the amount of people that actually shipped you two. It got him giggling and kicking his feet, staying up and reading comments about how you looked together.

And you seemed to feed into fans delusions, interacting with him more and putting on a more friendly facade, like you were actually friends behind close doors.

Even if it was fake, he liked it. The attention you gave him, the way you finally look at him right in the eyes with more than just your business smile. How you sit close to him at interviews, your legs almost touching. And how you would joke with him when people were looking, actually trying to get to know him.

The promotions ended sooner than he'd like, and now he was alone once again.

He should have let go of you, it been already two years since you two acted together, and he did in fact almost forgot about you. His house was finally you free, not a single thing that represented you in any way in sight. And he been clean for the past few months, finally going in public and acting like old him.

That was until a movie director contacted him, wanting him to be one of the main characters in this action movie he's making. And his costar? You. You would play his love interest. He can't really remember what he said after that, but he did ended up with the role, now reading the script with great attention, trying to picture how your scenes would be.

The romance scenes weren't enough, the fans would want to see more, he said while talking to the director, convincing him to add more. And that's how you ended up with some really unnecessary spicy scenes. Making out in the bathroom, somehow fucking each other on his bed, lots of kisses and the sexual tension should be felt the entire movie.

"Director, can I talk to you?" you said when you visit the set for the first time.

"Did something happen?" the older man looked at your concerned face.

"I received the new script." you said, holding the papers in your hands. "Are all the new scenes really necessary? It's supposed to be about fighting for justice, not a romance movie." well, you were right. But the white haired man happened to pay for the movie's budget out his own pocket.

"It would reach to a larger audience." but were the sex scenes really necessary? You looked at Gojo, trying to communicate telepathically with him. "Don't worry, I'm sure everything will be fine." the director said, ending the discussion there.

This wasn't just about you, it was also about your coworker and about how he feels. You had to pull him to the side and talk to him, you didn't want any hard feelings or to end up with a twisted relationship because of a stupid movie. "You sure you're alright with the new scenes?" you asked, looking at the tall man as he seemed to hold back something.

"Yes. Why wouldn't I?" he tried not to smile, happy at the way you seemed concerned about him and his well being.

"The change was out of nowhere and too drastic. I could talk to the director if you feel uncomfortable." you're so cute, he wanted to eat you whole.

"What about you. How do you feel about it?" he knew he went overboard, he blacked out when he made those changes after all. But he personally can't say that he regrets anything.

"It's just acting. Sure, I'm a little unhappy at the changes, but I'm alright with it if you are." god, he was dying to kiss you. He wanted to get to the parts where he could be closer to you, feel your skin against his and have a taste of your lips.

There were a few more weeks of filming until he got to the parts he wanted, and he was waiting patiently. Because he knew that once it started he'll get more than enough of you.

"That's all for today." the director said, finally announcing that it was the end of today's work.

"How about some drinks?" Gojo looked at you talking to your assistant before he looked at the director. "My treat." how could anybody refuse free drinks, especially ones that were payed by the white haired man.

You initially tried to refuse, looking at your assistant for a confirmation before you accepted. And that's how you ended in a bar with almost everybody on the set.

You let yourself to get losen for once, forgetting about the image you carefully builded and drank. You had your assistant there in case of anything, which you trusted a bit too much. But even so, you're just happy that you could drink, enjoy the company of others and feeling like you're just another person in there not just a big name actress.

And perhaps you enjoyed yourself a bit too much. Because people started leaving and you didn't felt like doing the same just yet.

It was just you, your costar, the director and your assistants in there in the end, it wasn't that bad.

"I'll call the car for us." your assistant let you know as they stepped outside for a moment.

"Our car is here." the director's assistant said, making the old man get up and leave. Now it was just you, your costar and his assistant that was nowhere to be seen.

"I'm kinda glad I'm doing this with you." you said, barely able to keep your eyes open. "I hear people talking about you all the time, and they all say how good you are." he stared at you with an expressionless face, still trying to think of what he should do next.

"Why don't we go outside for a moment? Take some fresh air." he wasn't prepared for a love confession just yet.

"Alright." you grabbed his arm, letting your body lean into his. He was sweating, his heart was beating so fast that he doesn't know what to do.

"T-then." he gulped, walking with you towards the back door of the bar. Good thing he reserved the whole place, because he doesn't know what he would have done if anyone saw you in that situation.

He placed you against the wall, sitting back next to you and letting you rest your head against his shoulder.

"Your hands are so big." you said, taking his hand in yours and comparing sizes. He was quiet, he just stared at you, his mind in a million places as he tried to figure out if this was some kind of hint or it was all in his head. "You're big in general." you looked up at him, blinking a few times and making him look away, a hand over his face as he tried to control his facial expression.

"It's nothing." he almost bite his tongue.

"I was a bit scared at first, but I'm glad we're in this together." seriously, are you trying to provoke him? "Let's work together in the future as well." if you weren't leading him on then he doesn't know what this is.

The way you look at him, and how you smile. It wasn't your work smile, you were genuinely smiling at him, heck, even your eyes were smiling. If this wasn't you telling him how much you want him then he really went crazy.

He lowered his head, taking another look at your face before he kissed you. At first it was something simple, just his lips touching yours for a second before he backed away. But the way you looked at him made him get closer. Those eyes of yours, having something that looked like sparkles in them. A fire that never seems to calm down, the heat that made him fall for you in the first place. Who can blame him that he kissed you again? Trapping your body against the wall, making you to wrap your hands around him, welcoming him in your warmth even more.

He let out a moan, looking at you with something lustful in his eyes and a smirk on his face. He looked dangerous, like he finally let go of that prince charming facade, showing you what he actually is.

You looked surprised, like you actually never expected him to act like that. Did you really thought that he's usually that sweet? How cute. He could play with you for a little longer, show you what he's actually capable of.

He bite your lip, looking straight into your soul as his kisses traveled to your neck. He sucked on your skin, placing a soft kiss on it before he sinked his teeth into it, making you to let out a gasp. He needed to leave his mark on you, because who knows when else he could.

He couldn't stay away from your lips for long, and now he's back on devouring you, filling the back alley with the sounds you make. "Come home with me." he tried to say, not wanting to get away from you.

You didn't respond, not because you didn't heard him, because trust me when I say you heard him loud and clear. It was more about what will happen after that, and your moral code. You'd rather die than get involved with anyone in the industry, and yet look at you still refusing to let go of him.

"Y/N, you're here?" you could hear somebody on the other side of the door. It was your assistant, probably looking for you to go home.

"Let go." you quietly moaned into his mouth. The door open, making you to push him away, looking at your assistant who had no clue of what's going on. "Is the car ready?" you felt like you sobber up, it's like you didn't touched a single drop of alcohol.

"It just arrived." your assistant looked at the actor next to you and then at you, not knowing if they should walk away or take you to your car.

"Alright." you left him in that alley, not even looking back at him for a single moment.

He had that look again, he's about to do something you'd both regret, or more like you won't like it. Because if he's shameless enough to do it, do you think he'd actually feel a little bit of remorse?

The next day you woke up with hundreds of text and missed calls, and your head killing you. And when you looked at your phone all you could see is people sending you the same article.

Two big stars making out in the back of a bar. Is this the start of a romance story?

Huh? What are these people talking about? Curious, and having no idea why people were sending it to you, you clicked on it. And you were welcomed with your name all over it, alongside Gojo's.

All you can do is cry. How drunk were you last night? You have to apologize to your costar. How could you have been so stupid? You can't believe yourself for doing such a mistake.

"Do not believe everything you see" you posted something on your social media. Trying to calm down the crowd somehow. You have to talk to your team about this since you have absolutely no idea how to handle it. For the moment it it was better to deny it then resolve this issues with Gojo's team.

Speaking of the wolf, you haven't checked on his social media yet.

You went on his profile, and instead of trying to take control over the situation he was putting more wood on the fire.

"Since everybody knows we don't have to hide anymore" you looked at his post in disbelief.

"???" you comment. Looking at your screen in disbelief at the way he was liking comments about how the two of you looked good together.

"Hi :)" he replied to your comment, making you even more confused. Was this a strategy for the movie? I mean, it wasn't a bad idea since you are his character's love interest.

Perhaps this was all an elaborate scheme that you weren't aware of just yet. That thought made you calm down. The internet was doing otherwise.

There were people who were genuinely happy about this, talking about how they knew it. Hell, you got other stars talking about how they always seen your interactions and they knew something more was going on. The fact that you didn't seen a single hate comment made you put questions, but who knows. You might see them sooner or later.

From that moment on, you didn't had a single peaceful time on set. Now you have people acting like your a married couple when nothing was going on between you and Satoru. But he seemed fine, in fact, he looked happy with the way people are treating you now.

He left his mark on you and you didn't even knew it. It was fine, even if you didn't looked at him as a potential partner, yet. It was alright. There was more than enough time. There's no rush, especially when he knows how to get rid of competition. Just like he got rid of your assistant for interrupting you at the bar, he can get rid of everybody that dares to get in his business.

"You're free later?" he came to you when you were on set, making people start whispering between themselves and giggle.

"Not really." you looked tired, if he knew you'd end up like this without an assistant he would have got you another one first.

"If you ever need my help let me know, I'll help you with anything." he means it, even if he looks like he doesn't. He will walk through fire if you tell him to.

"I'm just looking for a new assistant, don't worry." people were speculating that the assistant was the one who leaked about your so called relationship, but it was far from the truth. But the fact that they refuses to talk to you was confusing, even if it was your assistant who did that, why would they suddenly quit and go no contact? And what was more confusing was the fact that the only text from them was a screenshot of what you posted. Don't believe everything you see. What does that means? Was somebody bullying them? Then why wouldn't they tell you?

Now you couldn't help but be hesitant about chosing a new assistant. What if they end up having the same fate? Some people can be really mean and you don't want anyone to suffer because of you.

So, for the next few days you refused to even talk about your current situation. Only having your manager by your side and not trusting anyone that got too close near you.

This only made someone jealous, and a little angry. You don't want his help, even after what happened at the bar, you act like there was nothing you should talk about.

You should have went to him, jump in his arms and cry about how your assistant left you. But no, instead you chose to overwork yourself, still be the same kind actress that people loved and still giving him no attention.

He haves a limit, you should know that. How much longer he should wait for you to finally notice him?

So, he wrote you a letter. It was nothing more than his current thoughts and about his not so healthy love that was masked as 'admiration'. Shoving into your bag when no one was looking.

You were still on set when you were reading the letter, thinking it was made by one of the staff who happened to be your fan. You didn't really payed too much mind about it, finding it cute and putting it back where you find it after you were done with it.

Did you liked it? Should he write another one? Or did he went too overboard?

Do not believe everything you see, those were your own words and yet you were ignoring them. That letter did made your day, thinking that maybe you're just overthinking about your current situation. There were bad people out there, but there were also good guys. Why were you letting one bad incident ruin your mood?

A few days later you appeared at the studio with an unknown person next to you, you finally got a assistant. And this time you're planning on doing better than you did last time. Or so you thought.

You woke up with another letter, the same handwriting and the same sweet words written on it. This time was more about you than your so called fan, about how you should take more care of your health, how you got people worrying about you. But unlike last time, this letter had a signature on it, an S, nothing more, just a simple symbol.

How cute, S for secret, right? You giggled.

Do not believe everything you see. Really, do not. But for a moment you allowed yourself to be delusional, to think that the world wasn't that bad. I mean, even if there was someone who didn't appreciate you, you still had millions of fans and there are a lot of people who supports you.

And you decided to be more humanitarian, to step up your game and follow your costar's lead. One time after everyone was done with work you announced that you want to take everyone out for drinks, your treat. No one was crazy enough to refuse, especially you.

So, you called a friend of yours who owned a restaurant, the food is great, plus they also had a bar. And off you were.

Just like last time, you ended up all alone in that place with your coworker, laughing at his silly jokes before you finally got up to pay for tonight's feast.

"Your back?" you asked, feeling someone behind you and thinking it was your assistant. But to your surprise, it wasn't. It was the white haired man who seemed drunk, and maybe he was from the few drinks he had that night.

He leaned into you, trapping you between the empty receptionist desk and him. He kept looking at you, eyes half open as he seemed to want to say something.

Your mind was wandering for a moment, moving your eyes on his full lips before looking up at him. Every sane person would have done that, I mean, he was eye catching even in that state.

"You're alright?" you sounded concerned, and for a moment he actually thought you cared about him. You looked around the empty room for a moment, looking for any other people in there, but for his assistant more specifically.

"Don't leave me." he got his face closer to your ear, whispering in a low voice, and placing his hands on either sides of your body, trying to get his body more closer to yours.

"Come." you tried to get on of his hands away, so you could move.

"Where?" he only got clingier.

"Let's sit down. I'll get you some water." the last thing you want to see is headlines with your name all over them, talking about taking advantage of him when he's such a state.

"Noo." he whined, resting his head against your shoulder. "Don't want to." you sighed, looking around the room once again, trying to see if anyone from his team is still there.

"I got the bill ready." the cashier came back, only to freeze in place and look at you and your costar hugging, or what it seemed like a hug.

"I'll pay for it as soon as my assistant comes back." you said, trying to act like you're not being suffocated by this mountain of a man. The poor girl ran back from where she came from, leaving you alone with Satoru again. You sighed, you could only sigh as you put a hand on his back, making him break character for a moment as he jolted under your touch. "You can be such a big baby sometimes." good thing that you can't see him, because he was grinning from ear to ear.

"What happened to you?" your assistant finally appeared, looking at the scene you two were putting.

"He's drunk." you said as you rubbed his back with one hand, the other resting on his side, to keep him in place from falling. "Have you seen his assistant?"

"Not since the director left." your assistant got their phone out. "I'll give them a call." you're so thankful that you overcame your fears, because you don't know what you would have done alone in a moment like this. "They turned their phone off." you looked at the man in your arms and shook your head, disappointed at how this turned out.

"Call his manager, or anyone from his team." maybe he was the one who needed a new assistant, not you.

"No one is answering their phone." you understand that it's late at night, but who could just leave a big movie star like Gojo out here without a single thought about it. "What do we do? There's a hotel nearby, we could get a room for him there." that wasn't a bad idea. However, neither you or your assistant would look good if you leave him there. I mean, someone will have to get in the hotel with this world famous actor, who's face is known by everybody. He clearly drunk, and there would 100% be someone who will post something online about it and you'll get backlash for it.

"Let's take him to my place." that was the only option you had left. He started rubbing his face against you when you said that, letting out a groan and letting more of his weight into you.

"You're sure about that?" your assistant asked, not sure how to respond to what you just said.

"He'll sleep in a guest room. It's better than a hotel." your imagine had to come first after all.

So, without any more words said, you took him to your car. Even if he was heavy, he was surprisingly easy to move around. Well, he did followed every single of your move voluntarily, refusing to let go of you in any way possible.

That until you got to your house, dragging him inside when your assistant left, and leading him to a room relatively far from yours.

You pushed him in bed, taking off his shoes and trying to get him comfortable in bed. You didn't even dared to get close to his clothes, just putting the blanket over him and then leaving him in there.

You didn't even thought of taking advantage of him, you just wanted him sleep peacefully, to keep him away from anyone who might do something bad to him. After all, you knew damn well the industry you're working in, they'll eat him like wolves if they get their hands on him.

You're just helping out, you don't expect anything in return. But what a surprise to wake up with him in your bed in the middle of the night. He was on top of you, looking at the way the moonlight hit your face, and somehow wanting to bathe in your scent.

You could feel his hot breath on you, and it made you woke up. You didn't looked scared, even if he looked like he wanted to do things you'd rather not think about, you stayed calm. "Why did you leave me?" was he still drunk, or perhaps he was pretending to be? He was a good actor after all, you wouldn't be surprised if this was one of his acts.

He doesn't understands you. If you were the one who jumped in his arms like that he would have devoured you alive. But even after he made sure he could get some time alone with you, you still didn't payed him attention, at all.

"Go to sleep." you looked unfazed, not even taking him seriously.

"Touch me." he was really going to lose his mind. He was serving himself on a plate to you, and you didn't even dared to take a bite.

"You're drunk." you'd always try to do the opposite of what he's saying.

"I'm not." you knew he was pretending from the start too, didn't you?

"That's what a drunk person would say." you were getting on his nerves.

In a moment of panic, he took your hand in his, kissing your palm, closing his eyes and looking desperate as he tried to show you how he's feeling. You didn't even bat an eye, looking at him expressionless and like you didn't believed a word be was saying.

"Why don't you like me?" he had to confront you, or else this will take him nowhere.

"It's not that." he got the wrong idea, but it wasn't your job to explain yourself when he only understands what he wants to understand.

"Then? Why do you keep avoiding me?" you shook your head.

"I want us to keep it professional." you're making him laugh.

"We weren't professional when we kissed." that's another story. "So you just used me and now you'll let me hanging like this?" he really didn't wanted to listen to you unless you said something he wants to hear. "Make it up to me." what a fucker. "I want something in return for what you did." he's talking like he didn't started it last time.

"What do you want me to do?" you really can't believe him and his stupid demands. This should have been a payback for last time. Taking care of him even if he wasn't your problem to begin with.

"Kiss me." he was waiting for your response. "Like you mean it." you just said you want to keep it professional, but it's like he didn't even heard it.

"Can't I do something else?"

"Post a picture of us." that was even worse. Who knows what people would say if you do that. You'd really be branded as his, and it was a pain in the ass to deal with it.

You grabbed him by his shirt and dragged him closer to you, giving him a kiss that he'd remember. A wet kiss that it filled the room with sound, and your tongue in his mouth dancing with his. You even wrapped your hands around his neck, making sure he doesn't back down and take back his words.

He moaned, his hands trying to get under your shirt to feel more of your skin. But you didn't let him to do anything because you ended the kiss, breathing heavily and looking at him a bit angrily. "What now?"

"Bite me." kissing wasn't enough, he wanted you to eat him. Bite him, devour him in any way you could so that way you could have a piece of him with you.

"I'm not-" he kissed you, this time pinning your hands above your head so he could explore you more freely. Every time you tried to say something he'd bite your lip, making you groan and continued to kiss you.

"Touch me." he moaned, finally getting his mouth away from yours so you could breath. He took his shirt off, tossing it somewhere in the room and taking one of your hands in his, placing it on his crotch so you could feel how hard he was. He looked at you, at the face you made and how you didn't looked happy to be in that situation.

"It's too soon." you still refuse to get involved with your coworkers? What does he haves to do to prove to you that he means every single word he's saying?

"Do you really not like me?" he wanted you to be at least a little interested in him. It was no fun if he's the only one with big feelings in there.

"It's not that." it's your moral code.

"Do you ever think of me?" you didn't respond to that, only looking down at your hands amd trying to avoid eye contact.

"I'm not ready." you finally open your mouth to say something. "If we do this then nothing will be the same. We still have work to do, I can't simply just do it." so it was because of work? He already knew that, but at least you didn't dislike him.

"I get it." he said, getting off you and sitting down in bed. "Just go to sleep."

"You can sleep here if you want, I'll go somewhere else." you tried to get out of bed, but he dragged you back.

"Just because we're not fucking that doesn't mean we can't sleep." he will not let this night go without doing something. And just being able to feel your body against his as he sleeps is more than enough. Trust me when I say that this will drive him crazy for many days from now on.

The way you stay in his arms, and how he's able to shield over you. You really have no idea what power you hold onto him.

Do you regret bringing him in? A little. You hate giving people false hope, and he seems to ignore all your signs of displeasure. He did grew up in this environment after all. Being rich and famous from a young age, he haves no idea how to react when people tells him no, he can't handle rejection. And it seems that he always got what he wanted.

He didn't had to put on an act if he wanted to be around you. You could be friends, if he wanted. But nothing more, you wouldn't dare to be something more than acquaintances. You just work together, and are signed under the same entertainment company. You were nothing more than cash cows. You were the biggest stars of your agency, and you seemed to be pushed under the spot light as much as possible. He must understand how you feel, no?

He in fact didn't. And unlike you, he had more control over his actions. You could even say that the agency was afraid of him. He did come from a big family of stars, he had so many connections that even he can't say for sure how much power he was holding. But it was no joke when someone says he's the strongest.

So how can you reject him like that? Leaving him alone in that bed without blinking twice. But perhaps it was for the best, because he could finally rearrange his thoughts and think of what he should do. Retreat wasn't an option, I mean, how could he step back when he basically was in paradise?

This place smells exactly like you, leaving a sweet taste on his tongue and making him salivate while bathing in your scent. Should he steal something? You shouldn't tell him twice, because he got up the bed and starting looking around the room. He should pick something small, that you wouldn't notice. And even if you do notice, what will you do? He's shameless, you'll only give him a reason to get off to later when he's alone.

He should get something practical, that would help him during hard times.

And that's when he saw it, your closet. Something in his perverted mind suddenly lit on, and he went straight for your panties. There's so many to choose from, so many colors and models. He wants to take all of them home, put them on display right at the entrance so he would be greeted by them every time he comes home. In the end he picked one of the prettiest pair you own, shoved it in his pocket and went back into your room.

He gained more than he expected. Perhaps he should play drunk more often.

He got his shirt back on and got out the room. You couldn't possibly just left him in there all alone. And he was right, because he found you in the kitchen, sitting peacefully and taking a sip of some unknown liquid from a cup. "You're up?" the way your voice was still husky, your hair messy and your shirt falling off your shoulder. You said you didn't wanted him and yet you're trying to seduce him, how does that come?

He didn't open his mouth, only getting closer to you and taking the cup away from your hand, drinking from it without a single worry of what it might be.

It was tea, not so sweet, still warm and somehow hitting just right. "If you wanted some you could have said so." you said, getting up and walking towards one of your cabinets, getting out another cup and pouring some tea in it. "Here."

"I'll drink from this." he preferred your half empty cup rather than a full one? What a weirdo.

"Do you want to eat anything? I still have some leftovers from yesterday. I also think I still have some jam left, we could eat it with toast." stop showing him your caring side. He really doesn't know for how much longer he can keep it like this. This moment felt too intimate, it felt like you two really hooked up last night, and it was messing with his head.

You take good care of him, don't you? Offering him some of the biggest clothes you own so no one would suspect a thing, giving him a ride back to the studio. And now acting like you don't even know him. Stop being so cute, it only makes him want to bite you.

"You're here today?" the director said, looking at the two of you who got there at the same time.

"Don't we need to be here for a costumes check?" you clearly remember your assistant telling you to come back and do a last minute fit check.

"It's tomorrow." the white haired man said, wrapping his arm around yours.

"Why didn't you told me?" he was enjoying this too much, all a smile as he was trying not to react at your expression.

"I thought you were taking me home." you didn't even knew where he lives.

"Just go, you love birds. You clearly have better places to be at." the director laughed, making you look in disbelief at him. Love birds? Who?

"Come on, let's go back." Satoru didn't let you say a thing and dragged you out of there.

All he needs to do at the moment is keep people away from approaching you. And it's not hard, at all. Just standing next to you, flash a smile and say something that could be interpreted in wrong ways. He doesn't even need to try to make people run.

"Seriously, why didn't you tell me?" you said when you got back to your car. "Now I look stupid." you looked so gloomy, he was going to eat the pout of yours.

"I thought you knew." he'll get you even more confused about things if it means he'll see you like this. It gave him a false sense of security, like you were finally accepting him.

You sighed, not wanting to let out your anger on him. "Let me drive you home." it would be bad if more people sees you together. And at this point you don't trust anyone to come near your home to get him.

What a joke.

The next day you woke up with people blowing your phone again, and another article of your name next to his, talking about everything you did in public. Your interactions at the bar, how he was spotted at your house where he didn't left until the next morning, and about how you always look lovey dovey at the sets.

The filming progress just started and yet there were already rumors all over the internet about how you two would end up being more than just coworkers by the end of that movie.

Who keeps writing this? Seriously, it was getting on your nerves. And the fact that Satoru kept feeding delusions to the fans wasn't helping.

All this hype around the movie wasn't supposed to be only about you two, the main cast. It was supposed to be about all the production. The set, the visuals, the acting and the script, everyone's hard work. You should have turned down the offer as soon as you heard who your costar would be. But you didn't see any of these coming, so who can you blame?

Things only seems to get worse, because when you stared filming again, you got assigned with a new task.

"So, we're filming what were doing behind the scenes?" you asked, looking at the small camera that one of your coworkers was holding and then at them.

"The director said it would be fun. Giving people a little preview of what's going on." well, it didn't sounded that bad. People seems to enjoy behind the scenes footage in general, letting them see a bit of the actors lifes.

"I see." if the director said so, then you guess you don't really have a saying in this.

"We started already?" the white haired man appeared next to you out of nowhere, resting a hand on your head and leaning into you.

"Satoru, say hi to the camera." the actor said, moving the device to his face.

"Oh right, Y/N." there was a hint of his evil plan in his voice, already knowing you'd be pissed with him. "Are my clothes still at your place? I think I forgot them there." you really couldn't control your expression in that moment, looking at him like he killed somebody.

"What?" your voice was shaking, still not over the fact that he would say something like that in this situation. "Why would they be at my house?"

"I changed there last time. I think I left the clothes on the couch before we left."

"Ohh~" the other actor said, making you to look at them, somehow begging them to not get the wrong idea. "I see you're busy. I'll let you be, I won't interact."

"No, wait. It's not what it seems." it was already too late. "Why would you say that?" because he knew the director loves drama, and this would end up being published sooner or later. He was killing two birds with one stone. Doing a favor for the movie's publicity and showing the world that he already been in places some wouldn't even dare of dreaming of.

"People love things like these." he wrapped his hands around you, resting his chin on your head. "Hug me, the camera is in our direction." if it was or not, he couldn't care less. He just wanted to feel your touch in that moment.

It only got worse and worse the moment you started filming the sex scenes. The scenes were like a reflection of your own actions in real life, because everything started with a drunk kiss at a bar. Then ending up in his apartment where you were eating each other in the hallway.

It was supposed to be acting, the kisses didn't even needed to be real and yet he's not even holding back, touching you in all kind of inappropriate places, groping you shamelessly like there aren't cameras all over the place.

He pinned you against the sturdiest wall in there, making you wrap your legs around him as he kept biting and kissing you all over the place. At this point, you don't think the editors would need any sonds effects for your scenes. Because you realized how filthy those sounds were, and loud. Every time you kissed it was echoing in that empty place, the small setting that was supposed to represent a house wouldn't be enough to muffle the sounds.

He bite your lip when he realized your head was in a complete another place. How dare you ignore him in moments like these. You couldn't run even if you wanted, because you'd have to come back to him and film everything from the start. Or perhaps he could make you screw up on purpose, to retake this scene so he could touch you even more.

"Wait." you tried to stop him when you felt his hand under your shirt, trying to unclip your bra.

"What?" he said out of breath, taking his lips away from you for a moment so he could look at you.

"Let-" you looked away, too embarrassed at the way he was looking at you, his pupils were dilated and he looked like he would really put his dick in you if it wasn't for all these people in there. "Let me do it." his lips were back on yours while his hands were trying to take your clothes off.

Both of your clothes were all over the place, and you know it would be a pain in the ass to pick them after. He was too focused on this, the way he looked like he couldn't see anyone but you, like you were really alone in his house.

That's the beauty of acting, no? How some could get so focused on the plot, acting like their character is supposed to and forgetting about the outside world. But he wasn't acting in that moment. Maybe you were, but he taking this very personally. And the fact that you were holding back moans, refusing to touch him more than necessary and trying to stay in your character was infuriating him. It wasn't his character that makes you feel good, it was him.

He ended up throwing you in the bed a little harder than he intended, his touch becoming rougher and his kisses even wetter than before.

Good god, it's good that the scene ended soon after you two got to the bed, or else you would have lost it. You're already soaking wet, you have no idea what you would have done if this kept going for too long.

The scene was perfect, as much as you're embarrassed about it, it was pure perfection. Not a single time did the director called cut, you didn't had to retake the same scene from another angle. Nothing was said about your so called acting besides that you were in complete sync.

He's taking revenge on you, isn't he? Because even now after you finished your scenes for today, he looked at you with the same hungry eyes. And you swear you didn't mean it, but it made your pussy clench.

You gave him a quick look, squeezing your thighs together for a moment when he looked back at you.

It was something that he never saw before, the way you act. That expression on your face, pouting and looking at him with this thing in your eyes that made him want to drag you somewhere far away from people. You needed him, didn't you? And he was going to help you if you asked him to. Because if he got you in that state, then he also had to resolve your problem.

But you didn't spoke to him, you just looked at him all needy for a moment, like you wanted his touch back on you and then left, leaving him with the worst bonner he ever got in his life. This, only to come back a few days later for your next scenes.

You were driving him insane. And there aren't enough interactions in the movie to take out his frustration on you. There are too little scenes, and sometimes he had to improvise when he was getting too lost in his feelings. A few kisses here and there, just a quick peak when you were in the background to give more life to the movie.

But you still didn't said a thing, acting like this was all part of the script, like you were payed to do so.

So can you blame him when he wrote you another letter again? This time more aggressive than the previous times. Talking about how you got him feeling, how he craves for your touch and it drives him insane the way you seem not to care. Give him attention, or act like you acknowledge him. And this time he left the paper in your dressing room, placed under one of your stuff where he knows you'll know it was meant for you.

Too bad he couldn't see your reaction when you read the letter, but he realized you weren't too happy about it. It got you acting paranoid again, he could see it in your eyes, your body language. How you need to have a bit of distance from anyone that tries to come too close to you, and how you seem not to trust people anymore.

It was just a letter, he didn't even wrote everything down. No, in fact, he held back a lot. Because if he did wrote his mind you would refuse to come back into the movie set ever again.

But that's your charm, I guess. How you don't hide your feelings, and how you try to not make it obviously that you're displeased with things even if it's written all over your face. You're a good actress, a very good one, and yet you don't act unless you're required to. You were the opposite of him, where he always haves a mask on, the same business smile as you. But unlike you, he doesn't mean an thing, this friendly facade.

You were genuinely a sweetheart, while he only acted as he sees fit. And in this moment he's so close on fucking everything up just to toy with you. Because he's at his limits.

It was time for another suggestive scene, the set being filled with less people than usually. The lowlights, the atmosphere and everything in there was a bit suffocating. But maybe because of how much you overworked yourself these days.

"Do you think the plan will work?" you asked, sitting on his couch and looking at the coffee table that was placed there by the staff members.

"Do we have any other option?" he said his line in a serious tone, his character was supposed to be stressed from all the unfortunate events that happened lately, but it seems that he too is stress. Well, everybody been working overtime lately, but the sooner you were done with this movie the sooner you could move on with your life.

"I wish we could resolved this peacefully, I'm tired of fighting." you sighed, looking at your fingers for a moment and then at him who was resting not so far from you on the couch.

"Come here." he pat his lap, his back resting against the couch and he didn't even wanted to move an inch from there. He was improvising again, he was supposed to get up and drag about bottle of alcohol into this.

You followed his instructions, not wanting to pretend to be drunk again, and somehow not wanting to act in that moment too. If he haves a better idea for this scene then you'll follow his lead.

So, you sat on his lap, legs spread on either sides of him and wrapping your arms around his neck. His hands resting on your hips, moving towards your ass as he grabbed you and dragged you closer to him, your chest pressed against his as he placed you over his hard cock. You could feel him through his pants, and for a moment you stopped functioning, not knowing how to react to this.

"Well figure it out." he kissed you, his hands going under your shirt to make contact with your burning skin.

The kiss was so sloppy, both of you too tired to figure out a pace you should go at. Just touching, getting lost in the way your bodies seem to welcome each other openly. For a moment even forgetting where you actually are at the moment, and if the director wouldn't have said cut, you could have definitely escalated things.

What was going on in your mind? How could you let yourself so carefree? If you was just a bit more tired and at a state where you couldn't think properly, you would have definitely dragged him to your changing room and fucked him there.

And you woke up with another letter, even worse than last time. Talking about how your body looks, how he wants to get his hands on you, how you turn him on in the worst way possible.

The more you ignored those letters, the more they came. It got so bad, describing his fantasies, the way you appear in his dreams to haunt him like he wasn't haunting you right now. You had no idea who the sender was, because sometimes the letters would be sign as S, sometimes they would just be filled with nothing but filthy words and no signature. But you knew it was the same person from their handwriting.

You'd always wake up with them in places where there aren't many people allowed. And no matter how hard you're thinking about, you can't figure who it was. There were no cameras in this side of the studio, so you couldn't even see who was tormenting you.

"Why don't we go drinking tonight?" the director said one time before you were almost done with work fot that day. "We're almost done with filming, lets celebrate." after all these stressful days, you could use a drink.

It will be quick, go there, have a chat with a few people, have a drink and then go home. But just like last time, one drink turned into too many and you ended up in a corner of the bar with your costar who seemed to feed you even more alcohol.

He had his chin resting against his palm, looking at you with a smile on his face as he kept pouring more of that bitter liquor into your glass. "I can't drink no more." you couldn't even speak properly, hiccuping and moving left to right, like you were about to fall off your chair.

"One more won't hurt." the bar was still filled with people, so he had to keep himself in place.

"I got the car ready." your assistant came to your table looking at you and then at the white haired man. "I have to take her home, she's already too drunk." maybe he should get rid of this one too. It seems that all your assistants like to get in between his plans.

But perhaps he got a better idea. He took your glass, gulping down everything that was in it in a second before he tried to get you to the car. "Give me a ride too." he got in the backseat of your car, pretending to fall asleep after some time.

Your assistant tried to call anyone related to him, to come pick him up from your house because he seems too drunk to even stand on his own feet. But since no one was answering, they had no choice but to get him in your house, leaving him on the couch before they left.

It was always easy, so damn easy. He couldn't help but laugh. Drunk, him? He never got drunk in his life. Alcohol seems to have no effect on him.

He made his way to your room, getting next to the bed and looking at you sleeping. How dare you be so at peace when he's there? You were panicking all over the place last time he wrote you a letter, crying and refusing to talk to anybody if it wasn't for work. And now you act like you forgot about it.

He stood in place, looking down at you with an expressionless face as he can't think of anything at the moment. He got this far, so what? He could scare you more, give you a reason to hate him but at the same time all he wants to do is stand there all night and look at you.

He took his phone out, taking a quick picture of you before he put it back in his pocket.

He sat down at the edge of the bed, not far from where you're sleeping, looking out the window and then back at you. You had quite a nice view, no wonder you always seem to be in a hurry to come home.

Should he do something mean? Leave another letter in your home to see your reaction the next day. He could put it in one of your pockets and act like he doesn't remember anything besides going to the bar to drink. Maybe even leave the front door open and say some shit about hearing something while he was asleep.

But before he could think of anything more, you extend a hand, grabbing him by his shirt and trying to drag him closer. Like before, he just stood in place, looking down at you who seemed to pull harder. Were you mistaking him for the blanket or something? Unfortunately for you, he won't take off his clothes until you do so.

"Mm." you groaned, opening your eyes to look at the white haired man confused. "Ah.." you rubbed your forehead. "Fuck." that was the first time he heard you swear. "Come here." were you still sleeping? Because he doubts you'd react that lightly to him being there. But you were calling for him, and he wouldn't dare to say no to you. So he got in that bed, getting all cozy next to you and waiting for your next move.

For a moment you just touched him, moving your hand on his face, trying to feel something before it went lower on his body. He stood there, observing your clumsy actions and letting you do whatever you wanted with him. Your hands kept wandering, from his chest to his abs under his shirt, and now you were tugging at his pants, trying to see what you didn't got to see until now.

You were funny, the way you looked surprised whenever you discovered something new about him. "Don't do that." he said when you kept trying to get your hands in his pants.

"I want to see it." you pout, looking at him for a moment before you moved his shirt out the way, exposing his lower abdomen. "If you're as big as it feels." his heart skipped a beat, he couldn't help but cover his face with his hands. Do whatever you want, he'll hold back so you can explore as much as you want. "Ohh!" seriously, he can't even look at you when you make those faces. He was biting his lips so hard, he's afraid he might moan before you even touch him. "Why are you so big? Look at the size." his cock twitched, making you let out another surprised sound.

"Touch it." he said between his teeth, looking at you between his fingers and at what you're doing.

Your eyes moved on his, a serious expression on your face before your eyes went back to his dick. Can you even fit something like this inside you? The size was just ridiculous, but that didn't stopped you from touching it. Moving your hand around and studying like it was the first time seeing a cock.

He was bucking his hips forward in your hand, breathing heavily as he tried to keep himself from touching you. This was the first time you ever showed interest in him, he can't just fuck this up.

"How does it feel?" you asked, looking at the way he throws his head backwards, his chest rising and falling down.

Good, it feels so fucking good. He might go crazy from how soft your hand was. He moaned, not even being able to let out words, or think of a way to respond to you.

"I want that too." you took your hand away, making him to finally look at you as you took your clothes off. Now sitting on top of him, taking his cock back in your hand and trying to take him inside your pussy. But it didn't matter how much you're trying, it was impossible to get at least his head. It hurts, the more you try the more frustrated you became. "It doesn't fit." his dick twitched again. You're killing him, you're saying stuff he didn't imagine you to say, and it was killing him inside.

"I'll make it fit." he pushed you off him, pinning you down into the bed as he got in between your legs, placing kisses on your body as he went lower and lower, until he got to your pussy.

He loved the way you taste, it was better than he imagined. So much fucking better. It was no wander he was trying to devour you, I mean, who knows when he's going to do this again. So he might as well do it until he memorizes your taste.

Your hands went through his hair, tugging at it lightly as you let out soft moans, even cursing under your breath from time to time, letting him know how good you were feeling.

He pulled a few orgasms out of you, loving way too much the way your thighs wrapped around him, or how you're trembling, looking at him with teary eyes and you only seem to want more.

He'll give you more, he'll give you as much as you ask for, fuck, even more. He'll make sure to make you fit him, prepare you so good that you could only fit his cock from now on. He'll give you a reason to keep going back to him.

He got up from between your legs, sitting next to you as he got his hand back to your pussy, slowly pushing two fingers inside and making you gasp. "Is it good?" he whispered in your ear, feeling the way you clench around him. All you did was to nod, looking at him with big doe eyes and leaning more into him, to feel more of his warmth.

"Deeper." you said when he didn't went more than halfway through, moving his fingers at a slow pace that it left you hanging, almost giving you no friction whatsoever.

He kissed you quickly before moving his eyes back on your pussy, resting his cheek against your head. Be careful what you're wishing for, he'll go so deep that you'd feel him in places you never knew existed. It's already hard to hold back, but if you keep provoking him he might let his mind slip for a moment.

So, doing just as you asked him to, he got deeper, curling his fingers upwards and making you squirm. He kissed you again, this time taking no break as he kept bullying your insides, making your walls get tighter around him. How is he going to live without this? How can he go back home and act like everything is normal after this? That's why he couldn't help but move faster, in a irregular pace as he kept stopping from time to time only to go rougher. So you wouldn't get too used to him.

You were a moaning mess, and he seems to only want you to lose your mind, pulling orgasm after orgasm from you, kissing you as he made you turn around so he could do it from another position. He wants to go even deeper, to get back at your words, for requesting unnecessary things when he was going to give you what you wanted anyway.

"One more, come on baby. Give me one more." for how much longer is he going to say that? He's starting to get on your nerves at this point. But in the end, he finally took his fingers out of you. Dragging you closer to him so your back could be pressed against his chest, one of his arms under you head as he kept your hair away from your face, so he could be able to look at you. "You'll fit me now." he whispered in your ear, dragging your hips back and grabbing one of your legs, spreading them apart as he start whispering more filthy words in your ear. "Look at how you're taking me in." he said, waiting for you to say something, but to his surprise, you're long gone into the dream world. Sleeping soundlessly in his arms, like you forgot that he was even there.

He can't believe this. You actually fell asleep. You really dared to fall asleep and leave him there after you dragged him in your bed. The audacity you had. He's going to make sure to give you a hard time tomorrow for this. So, he too fell asleep next to you. A bit hard to do so, but he managed somehow.

The next day you woke up with your head killing you. You shouldn't have drank that much, how could you have been so dumb.

You were about to turn around when you realized that someone was in your bed, a pair of muscular arms around you, and someone breathing into the back of your neck. Your heart stopped working, you froze in place as you saw your soul leaving.

"Morning." a masculine voice could be heard from behind you, and you feared that you knew exactly who it was. He pressed his body into yours, letting you know you were both naked, and feeling his hard cock pressed against your back.

You wanted to cry, you wanted to run from there and not look back for a single moment. How could you have been so stupid, how could you just do that. Just how drunk did you got?

"Don't tell me you're planning on running away." he whispered into your ear, making you flinch. "You dragged me into your bed, put your hands all over me and now you're going to leave me after you used me as you pleased? I had no idea you were that type of person." you whined, because that's all you could do in that moment. What other explanation do you have?

"I can explain." he pressed his cock into you harder, making you yelp.

"Oh yeah?" one of his hands traveled on your body, now going up towards your boobs, making you gasp when he groped one. "You kept me up all night." you cried at his words. "Don't you remember the way you got on top of me? Trying to get my cock inside then crying about how big it is." you closed your eyes shut, trying not to let out another whine from remembering what happened last night.

"I'm sorry.." what else could you say besides that?

"You weren't sorry when you were telling me to go deeper." his hand went down your body, wanting to go in between your legs to spread them again, but you jumped out of bed.

"I'm sorry, alright. I have no idea what got into me last night." you were really planning on running? Don't make him laugh.

"So you really just used me then, huh?" he stood there, in your bed. Half his body being covered by the blanket while the other was all naked, his skin exposed to you and he didn't seemed to me ashamed at all by what happened.

But if you think about it, he was the one who got a bottle of a really strong liquor and dragged you to the corner of the bar, making you have a glass with him. "It's your fault too." his eyes wided, looking at you like he didn't expected to hear that. "I might have dragged you in my bed, but if you didn't liked it you wouldn't have stayed." he smiled, finally letting his mask drop as his body language suddenly changed. He looked more relaxed, a smirk on his face as he uncovered more of his body.

"Come here. Let's continue from where we were." you moved you eyes away from him, not daring to look in his direction as you could see his cock. "Don't be shy now. You weren't last night, so why should you be now?" you're not going to listen to his nonsense anymore. "You don't want me anymore? How sad." he looked at the way you were going to your closet. "I still want you though." you ignored him as you went to get dressed. But you couldn't even do that in peace because he got behind you, wrapping his arms around you, and resting his chin against your head. "You should wear that, it looks good on you." he pointed at some dress you had in there.

"I'm not going anywhere today." you want to be comfortable, not dress up for nothing.

"Then wear nothing. I like it when you have nothing on." you could feel that, since he made it sure to let you know he was still as hard as before.

"Here." you said as you picked some clothes that were clearly too big to be on your size. "You can wear this." now that's he's thinking about it, something doesn't add up.

"Why do you have male clothes in your closet?" who else wore these? And you dared to give them to him like it was nothing too.

"I like buying them since they're comfortable." oh, that was an option too. Why didn't he thought of that? I mean, it's been quite a while since you last been in a relationship, and he knows that since he always knows what you're doing. What if he's not paying attention to you one time and you get married? He can't possibly let you do that. That empty spot in your bed was reserved to him. "We needed to talk." you said after you got dressed, getting out your closet and walking outside your room.

"About what?" he knows this moment. You always make people sign an NDA before you get into a anything deeper. But what he doesn't like about your relationships is that it's almost never too intimate, you just go out, eat, spend some time together and then that's it. Did one of those fuckers left you disappointed and now you're avoiding contact with other people? How sad. But well, since you have him now you don't have to think about that anymore. He'll get you drunk on his dick, and he'll make sure you only have eyes for him.

"I'm sorry, but I don't know if we can continue this." huh? That wasn't what you were supposed to say. "We still have to film the movie, and then the promotions. I don't want anything awkward between us."

"What about after?" you didn't said a thing, only looking down at your feet before looking at him. "So you did play with me, huh?" perhaps this was your revenge for making you feel weak. He can't believe you actually knew of his doings and you didn't said a thing.

"If you still feel the same after everything is done.." huh? What did you just said? You were actually going to give him a chance? The NDA still sounded better, and he'll sign it in a blink of an eye if you do hit him with one.

He thought that something would change, that you'd be more open to him. But no, you were still as distant as ever.

You were playing with him, weren't you? You were just playing dumb because you knew how he actually was feeling. Well, he too can tournament you. From that day onward he kept writing you everyday, placing the letters in really inconvenient places and watching your reaction from not that afar if he could.

He made sure to not let you rest a single moment while you were on the set. It did not lasted for long whatsoever, because the filming soon ended and the film was sent to editing, giving everybody a break until the promotions starts.

You skipped the party, lying about how you got a cold and you didn't want anyone else to catch it, so you stayed at home.

You still remember the day the trailer was published, the way your phone was blowing and how you didn't dared to even look at it that day. But when you did turned it on, everything was worse than you imagined.

The trailer opened with a scene of the city, then it got to the point of where the conflict started, and as you watched more, the more scenes from the movie were put in, the fighting, the peaceful times, and it ended with you and Satoru kissing against a wall. A big long scenes of just the two of you almost fucking in there, and you couldn't be more embarrassed.

The comments? You could smell them from a mile away. You could hear screamings and whistles, like you knew exactly what people were talking about. And you were right because when you opened that section you were met with people talking about you and your costar rather than the trailer itself.

"Was the last scenes necessary?" a comment said, and you couldn't agree more to it. But the replies under it said otherwise.

Your social medias? Filled with people purring about you and Gojo. And he seemed to enjoy this as he kept liking comments about the two of you. And now people were officially calling him your husband. He was the one demanding to be called yours, not the other way. Because you weren't his property, he was yours.

You tried to get out the house in god knows how many days, finally going to the agency to talk to your manager about the situation. Can't you calm it down somehow? And the answer was no. The media was responding so positively about this, you couldn't just say something about it when you were put in such a good light. I mean, look, there were so many people requesting for you appearance than any other times before. Your team was busy responding to phone calls and emails for you.

So many people wanted you in their movies, because if they get you they also get Gojo. Since he apparently, you have no idea when, said that he won't act in a movie unless you're there. And if you accepted a role, then they automatically get Satoru too. Killing two birds with one stone. Having two of the most hot actors, who happened to be a so called power couple, acting in their movie was a free pass to the most sold movie of the year.

But you didn't even looked at those offers, no matter how good they were. You don't want to get involved with him anymore, he was only going to bring you problems.

Instead of accepting any offers, you decide to make a quick appearance on some big show that only asked for you to participate. The first thing you heard today that didn't involved Gojo's name into it.

You were so happy to go there, all a smile and stress free knowing that you don't have to get involved with that guy any time soon.

Did you really think that it was going to be that easy? You just got there on the set and you were met with one of the questions you were trying to avoid.

"First of all, I'm a big fan." the host said when you sat down on the couch. "But I don't really wanna say much so your boyfriend won't get jealous." you awkwardly laughed. "How is he, btw?" you had no idea what to say.

"You know." you said, biting your lip and trying to think of an excuse. "We both been busy." you don't even know in what county is he right now.

"I'm sure you are." the interview went on, moving to other discussions and you managed to forget about the white haired man for a moment. "Hold on a second." the host said as they talked to a staff member. "So, um, I was informed about something. And, Y/N, we actually have a gift for you?" how sweet, you thought. Only to be welcomed with your costar on the set, making the audience clap. "What a surprise, right?" you smiled, putting on your same old business smile on as you tried to keep your composure.

"I was nearby and I was thinking why not paying a visit." he lied as he got closer to the couch.

"It's always nice to have you here." the host said. "Please sit down, I actually wanted to ask about the new movie you two played in."

"I'd love to but I'm kinda in a hurry." he leaned down towards you, placing a quick kiss on your cheek and messing with your hair for a moment. "You two have fun." he said as he got away from you. "I have to go now. I wasn't even supposed to stop to begin with." he waved as he left, making the audience sound way too happy about this.

"Relax, no need to be shy." the host said, looking at your expression. "We already saw the trailer, it's nothing we haven't seen already." you wanted to cry. "So, about the movie. Does it have more of those scenes or were we deceived with the trailer?" you'll make sure to pick a written interview next.

"I'm not really sure if I should talk about it.." you tried to change the subject.

"It's not like you're spoiling the movie for us. We're curious about you and your partner." and that's what you don't like.

"Well.." everybody's eyes were on you. "Let's just say that you'll see more." that was enough to make the crowd go crazy.

Because of that guy now you can't even deny that you two aren't together anymore.

You would have been alright with all of this if the nothing happened between the two of you, and if Gojo felt the same way as you. But he seemed to push the idea of something happening between the two of you to the public. It was driving you crazy because you didn't know how to react. You always told yourself that you won't get involved with anyone from the industry, that you'll make a few more movies and then retire, find someone simple and live an almost normal life.

But instead you're here, stuck with media actually approving of this non existent relationship.

You have to talk to Satoru next time you see him. But you never really got the chance to do that in private when the promotions started.

Interview after interview and it only looked like you were surrounded by more and more people. And he didn't wanted to talk to you when you tried to pull him aside, talking about how people will think something inappropriate about the two of you when he was the one who was saying stupid things in front of the camera.

Now it was the premiere, having to stay arm in arm with him the whole time. And he doesn't hold back even for a moment, letting his hands roam around your body and making the crowd go insane.

"Let's talk." you whispered to him, making him lower his head so he could hear you.

"What about?" he was playing dumb, he already knew what you wanted to say.

"Do you have some time later?" you said as you wrapped your arm around his, following his lead as he was guiding you around the red carpet.

"Who knows." he said that, but at the after party you managed to trap him in a corner not allowing him to go away before he had a talk with you. "There are people watching." a smile on his face as he said that, looking at your angry face as you had him pinned to the wall.

"I don't care. You're going to run again." look at how the roles switched. He had no idea you would actually try to confront him.

"Then." he wrapped his arms around you, looking down at you and grinning from ear to ear. "What do you want to talk about."

"People are thinking that we really are in a relationship." your current position wasn't any better either. People were giving you looks like you were being perverts in public.

"They are?" why was he acting shocked when he was the one feeding that idea to others.

"We don't have to pretend anymore." you said, but that only made him to drag you closer.

"You said you'd give me a chance after we're done with the movie." you said a lot of things that you didn't mean, why was this any different.

"I just said that I don't want people to think we're in a relationship. What do you not get?" snap at him more, he can't be any happier than he's at that moment. He leaned down, his face getting closer to yours and placing a kiss on your cheek.

"Keep your promises, don't disappoint me." you huffed, turning your face in another direction only for him to turn it back towards him and kiss you on your lips. "Let's get out of here. It started to get boring anyway." why did you listen to him was a mystery, why you followed him to his car and back to his house was something you couldn't figure it out. And how you ended up in his bed? You can't really respond to that either.

He was kissing you, hands under your clothes and trying to get them off as fast as he could. Moaning into your mouth whenever you touched him, pushing his body into yours and trying to become one with you in a way or another.

How could you think that you could leave him? What would he do if he doesn't have you? What is he supposed to do from now on if he can't think about you 24/7? To even dare to think about abandoning him, he's going to punish you for this.

"Turn around." that stupid dress was in his way, he can't believe your stylist really made you wear this. What if there are fuckers out there who still dares to look at you even after he made it very clearly who you belong to.

Well, whatever. He'll make sure to get rid of that stylist of yours. Not a big problem.

He kissed your back as your skin became exposed to him. With a swift movement taking your panties off and throwing them somewhere easy to spot, to not forget to take them later.

You had to tell him to take his clothes off so you could catch a break, otherwise he would have took you there from how impatient he was.

You just stood there, at the edge of his bed, one leg over the other and looking at him trying to take off his tie faster. He really had to wear a fucking suit, now look at him, he was about to rip it off him. And look at you, you look so calm about this, enjoying seeing him struggle while he was losing his mind. "Undress me." he looked down at you, taking a few steps closer to you, and taking your hand in his and placing over his white shirt to unbutton it.

You might as well do it, you don't see why not. But the problem was him and his stubbornness. Kissing you, almost pushing you in bed while you were just trying to do as he said. It took a long time, and the task seemed to never end, but here you were now, with him on top of you and making you wrap your legs around him. No fancy party could make him miss this, in fact he couldn't even care about that damn premiere to begin with.

His hands were traveling on your body, touching you in some of his favorite places. You were so warm, he couldn't help himself. How you gasp whenever he's groping you, dragging you closer to him so he could feel you even closer, even if there was no more space left between the two of you.

"Put it in already." you demanded, but he wasn't going to just give it to you yet. What if you struggle like last time? He can't let you say such dirty words again or you might not be able to walk at all tomorrow.

"There's no rush." you can act as cute as you want, he's going to take his time with you. After all, you need to see how good he can treat you, make you feel so good that all you'll remember is his name. He kissed your forehead before he moved his eyes on his hand that was going in between your legs. "Look how wet you are." you were a bit embarrassed about it. "And you said that you don't want me." your body can be more honest sometimes, and he'll love to learn more about it.

He got some of your juices on his fingers, moving it around your clit to see the way your body tensed immediately. Weren't you a needy one? He kissed the side of your face before pushing two of his fingers in, paying attention to the face you were making and at the way you were sucking him in.

He moved his hand at a relatively slow pace, it was more about to make you feel the way you're taking him, how deep his fingers can go compared to yours, or anybody else. You can only feel like this because of him. See the way you're still so tight? That's because he wasn't there to stretch you out the way you needed.

"Keep your eyes open, alright baby?" he spoke to you in a baby voice, making you feel like he was mocking you. "Don't hide from me." can't he just fuck you already? Why was he playing around so much.

You did tried to do as he said, keeping your eyes open and trying to avoid eye contact with him because it made your pissy clench. This was so embarrassing, the way he was taking his sweet time and giving you almost no friction at all, and how he seems to enjoy this. Like torturing you was bringing him pleasure.

He didn't let you say a word and smashed his lips against yours, placing his palm against your clit as he finally started to move like he means it. Curling his fingers up so hard it got you squirming and letting out a few moans. And you never seem to stay in place, moving around and arching your back every time he was hitting something that makes you see stars.

You were a mess, the way you were so wet that your juices got on his bedsheets, and the noises your body makes were so obscene and loud it was hard to ignore.

He noticed the way you look at him, pleading for some mercy like you were at your limit about to break. But there was so much more in you, one orgasm wasn't going to stop him from giving you another. And he swears on his name the next one will be even mind blowing.

That's when he took his hand back to himself, making you sit more comfortably in bed before he positioned back in between your legs. This time he'll make sure you'll stay awake and take all of him, there was no other way.

You looked at his face and then at his cock, at the way he had his head at your entrance, almost pushing it in. You'll take him? Like, you're really going to fit him? "You can do it." he said when he finally pushed some of his cock in. "Fuck." he cursed under his breath. "I know you can do it." he let out a moan, throwing his head back for a moment before moving his eyes back on you. Your eyebrows furrowed, eyes closed and the cutest pout you ever showed him. It was like you really had a death wish, to fuck with his feelings like this and making his dick twitch. If he couldn't control himself any better he would had came right there on the spot. "Too much?" he said as he kept pushing his cock all the way in, making you nod as your words were stuck in your throat. "That's too bad."

You won't see any sympathy from him. Does he even knows what that means to begin with? You're too delicious, and the fact that he could pull even more expressions out of you made him push you over your limits.

So here he was, moving in and out of you way slower than he wants, rubbing your clit with his thumb and observing you like the pervert he is. He was salivating, drooling over your weak form as you showed him your off guard self. His cock twitching every time you let out a moan, and making you jolt at the sensation.

"Does it hurt?" he asked as he kept looking down at you, moving his hips in the same old motion. You nodded again, eyes still closed and biting your lip because of how he made you feel. He'll make it hurt even more, don't think that you can rest yet just because he's going easy on you. Fuck, he wants to sink his teeth into you so bad, leave marks all over your body as he rams his cock in and out of you.

But then you looked at him, big teary doe eyes that had him seeing a flash before him. He almost came, like, he almost cum just because you looked at him. If you want him to keep it together you have to talk some sense into him, because he doesn't think he can recover from that.

"You can move." no, don't give him a green light. Torment him more, play with his feeling and edge him till he's losing his damn mind. Don't be so sweet to him, he'll end up locking you up if you do that.

He pressed his chest against yours, his mouth finding yours as he started kissing you like the most starved man on earth. He moved his hips without a warning, slamming into you like you were his toy, and yet demanding for your touch. He was pushing himself into you, trying to steal the air away from your lungs as he seemed more desperate with each thrust.

He was looking into your eyes, waiting for you to snap at him and push him off, or tell him that's he's being too rough so he could stop being so delusional. But you didn't, only dragging him closer, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him just as needy as he was, both of you being a moaning mess. And not letting go of each other even after you came, wanting to feel even more. To cum again and again, and to be filled by him to the brim, even if you knew that would bring you some serious problems later when you finally come back to your senses.

The next day you woke up with a sore body, your skin aching all over the place, and barely being able to get up the bed.

That didn't stopped you from getting dressed with some clothes you found around the room, what you can only assume it was his since they were way too big.

You got out the room, in hope to find your phone or maybe the white haired man so he could get you back home. And now you were in the living room, looking around for your things. Instead finding a letter, that seemed way too familiar.

That handwriting, you could recognize it everywhere. And that damn signature, the fucking S.

It was one of the letters he didn't managed to 'give' it to you yet. And honestly, you don't know if you should be relieved or terrified because this one was worse than anything before.

You turned around, paper still in your hand and looking at the tall guy who had his back pressed against the wall. He was expressionless, no thoughts behind his head as he seemed to stare at you like he was looking into the void.

It was him, that damn son of a bitch. He played with you all this time and you had no idea.

"I made you breakfast." he said, not every caring if you found out about his doings or not. "Come while it's still hot." he let out a laugh at your expression. You never hold back, do you? Can you at least try to not look like your about to kill him?

#jjk smut #jjk fanfic #jjk x reader #gojo satoru #gojo satoru smut #gojo smut #gojo x reader #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojou satoru x reader #jjk gojo #jujutsu gojo #jujutsu kaisen gojo #gojou satoru x y/n #jjk satoru #satoru gojo x reader #jujutsu satoru

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fr0stf4ll · 2 months ago

Text

A court of Shadows and Moonlight - Part 5

paring; Azriel x reader

summary; In the wake of looming war and changing traditions, a gifted healer returns to the Night Court after centuries of wandering the continents. Tasked with stepping into Madja’s legendary role, she must guide reluctant healers, soothe wounded warriors, and face the entrenched prejudice of Illyrian leaders. But as she mends torn wings and broken spirits, an unexpected bond awakens between her and the Night Court’s enigmatic Spymaster. With rivalries simmering and a dangerous threat looming on the horizon, she must reconcile duty and desire, learning that true healing can extend beyond flesh and bone—if she dares to embrace the light hidden among the shadows.

word count ; 5k

Trigger warning; //

notes; Hey ! Happy celebrations for everyone <3 I'm back with the part 5 of the story, you guys are getting more elements about the story here hihi. Hope that you will enjoy it ! See you soon <3

previous ✧ next

The day after you had stabilized Azriel, you returned to the House of Wind to check on his injuries. Morning light filtered through wide windows as you stepped into the corridors, the faint scent of fresh linen lingering in the air. You carried your satchel of supplies—new dressings, salves, and a mild tonic—tucked under one arm. The tension you felt in your chest, the awareness of that golden bond, still hummed quietly under your skin.

When you eased open the door to Azriel’s room, you found him not only awake, but sitting propped against a nest of pillows. He turned his head at your arrival, and his hazel eyes, calm yet quietly guarded, focused on you. You froze for a fraction of a second, expecting something—recognition, some sign that he sensed what you had felt so vividly the night before. The mating bond. But Azriel’s gaze was polite, curious, nothing more than what you’d expect from a warrior thanking a healer.

“Good morning,” he said, voice low and even. His wings were carefully arranged, bandages neat and secure from your previous efforts. “I owe you my life, I think.” The corner of his mouth tipped upward slightly, a cautious attempt at a smile. “Thank you.”

Your heart twisted. You managed a professional nod, stepping closer to the bed. “It’s my duty,” you replied, your voice steady despite the pang in your chest. “How do you feel?”

He shifted a little, wincing but not complaining. “Better,” he answered, meeting your gaze without any flicker of that deeper connection you had feared or hoped for. Just calm gratitude and a warrior’s patience. “The pain is manageable.”

You swallowed, extending a gentle hand to adjust a pillow behind him and check the bandage on his shoulder. Your fingers brushed his skin lightly. Nothing. No spark, no sign that he felt what you did. He gave a small nod of thanks, as though you were any other healer administering care.

The golden thread inside you felt taut and delicate, as if one wrong breath could snap it. But what good was a thread if only one person felt its pull? You busied yourself with routine tasks: applying fresh salve, examining the healing tears in his wings, ensuring there were no signs of infection. He watched quietly, occasionally letting out a soft hiss of discomfort, but never more than that.

Every so often, you dared glance into his eyes again, searching for something—some warmth or spark that might betray an awareness of the bond. But you found nothing beyond polite interest and a soldier’s resilience. To him, you were a stranger who had saved his life, a skilled hand rather than a destined partner.

When you finished, you stepped back and forced a calm, reassuring smile. “Everything seems to be on track,” you said, keeping your tone measured and pleasant. “I’ll prepare a mild tonic to help with any lingering ache. If you rest and follow instructions, you’ll recover smoothly.”

He inclined his head in acknowledgment. “You have my thanks,” he said simply. “And my respect.”

With that, you gathered your supplies and turned toward the door, heart heavier and more uncertain than before. You paused on the threshold, glancing back once over your shoulder. Azriel was settling back into the pillows, eyes drifting to the window, lost in his own thoughts—thoughts that, evidently, didn’t involve the bond you carried alone.

You left his room as you had entered: a healer, no more, no less. The golden bond within you lay silent and unacknowledged, a secret you would shoulder alone.

Days blurred into a quiet routine: morning rounds at the clinic, afternoons spent reviewing herbal stocks and training junior healers, and, scattered between these duties, several trips to the House of Wind. Each visit found you in Azriel’s room, applying new salves and checking that his injuries were knitting properly. He was a cooperative patient—patient enough, at least. He didn’t complain, though you sensed his restlessness. He asked questions about healing techniques, listened politely to your instructions, and always offered a sincere “thank you” after you were done.

In these encounters, the tension of that first night lingered only as a ghost of memory. He seemed comfortable enough with your presence. Once or twice, you thought you caught something in his gaze—curiosity, or a particular warmth—but you brushed it off. Your priority remained his recovery, not your tangled emotions or that elusive bond you had discovered.

But not all your visits were so calm. One afternoon, just after you’d finished changing the dressings on his wings, voices rose outside his door. You stepped into the corridor with your empty bowl of used bandages, intending to fetch fresh ones, when you heard the unmistakable sound of Rhysand’s voice—low, measured, but threaded with tension.

Azriel responded, quieter but sharper. You hesitated near the threshold, uncertain if you should intervene or give them privacy. Yet their words drifted through the partially open door, and you caught enough to understand what was happening.

“I’m not asking for permission,” Azriel said, voice tight. “I know what I’m doing, Rhys.”

Rhysand’s tone cooled noticeably. “This isn’t about your skill or independence. It’s about what’s best for everyone. You heard Y/N’s orders—no more unauthorized interference. Azriel, you nearly died. We can’t afford another risk.”

A pause, then Azriel’s voice, lower now, a note of frustration vibrating through it. “I’m not talking about the healer’s instructions. I’m talking about Elain.”

Your chest tightened at the name. So they were arguing about her. About his relationship to her. You swallowed, fingers tightening around the bowl as if it were an anchor in unfamiliar waters.

Rhysand sighed, weariness and a hint of annoyance seeping in. “You know the stance we agreed upon. Elain’s presence here complicated matters. She’s not a healer, and we can’t have her risking your life by trying something ill-advised. It’s best if she stays at the townhouse until you’re fully recovered.”

Azriel’s response was quieter, but no less charged. “I know she didn’t mean harm. She cared, and that caring led her astray. I’m not defending her action, but I want a chance to speak with her. This—this distance you’re enforcing feels like punishment.”

Rhysand’s answer came measured, each word precise. “Call it what you like. Her action nearly cost your life. Let Y/N do her job without interference. Once you’re healed, we can revisit the matter.”

A tense silence followed. You should have turned and left, but your feet seemed rooted in place. At length, Azriel spoke again, voice subdued yet firm: “I won’t forget this, Rhys. I know you mean well, but I have a say in who sees me and when. We’ll talk about this again.”

The tension crackled, and you took that as your cue. Quietly, you stepped away, heading off to get fresh supplies. By the time you returned, Rhysand was gone, and Azriel sat brooding by the window, wings carefully draped over the edge of the chair. He met your eyes and offered a faint, polite nod, as if nothing had happened.

But the atmosphere had changed. You redid a bandage and Azriel thanked you, his voice level, though a crease lingered between his brows. It wasn’t your place to ask about the dispute, and he didn’t volunteer information. Yet the words you’d overheard thrummed in your mind—the High Lord’s firm stance, Azriel’s quiet defiance. And, unspoken between them, Elain’s name, heavy with meaning.

You left that day more aware than ever that Azriel’s recovery wasn’t just about healing flesh and bone. There were deeper wounds, quieter tensions to navigate, and you found yourself caught at the edges of relationships and loyalties you barely understood.

At the week’s end, you returned to Azriel’s room for what would be your last scheduled visit. The afternoon light slanted in gently, highlighting the subtle improvements in his condition. His wings, once in tatters, now bore only faint scars slowly fading beneath well-applied salves. He was no longer propped up by a fortress of pillows, simply leaning back against a few cushions. His color was better, his breathing steady and even.

You approached with your medical bag, a familiar ritual by now. He watched your every move, though more relaxed than before. After a brief examination—checking the suppleness of his healing wing membranes, testing the resilience of muscle and skin—you nodded, satisfied.

“I think you’re in the clear,” you said, voice warm but professional. “Your wounds have healed nicely. You’re allowed to walk around the House of Wind again, as much as you like. Just…” You arched a brow, fixing him with a pointed look. “Please wait a few more days before attempting any training. Give your body time to adjust.”

Azriel inclined his head, his eyes thoughtful. “I’ll try,” he said, a hint of wry humor in his tone. “I’m not particularly good at staying idle, but I’ll manage.” There was a pause as he studied you, folding his hands loosely in his lap. “How are things at the clinic? It must be a lot of work, reacquainting yourself with everything after so long.”

You took a moment to consider your answer, recalling the busy days, the endless patient logs, the younger healers who looked to you for guidance. “It’s busy, yes,” you admitted, shoulders rising in a small shrug. “But well. The transition has gone smoother than I expected. Madja’s presence helped me settle in quickly. I’ve met most of the healers by now. They’re competent and kind.”

Azriel nodded, as if glad to hear it. “I’m relieved. I know Madja cared deeply about who would take her place. She made the right choice.”

Your heart tightened slightly at the praise, but you managed a small, genuine smile. “I hope so. I’m doing my best.”

A brief silence fell. You cleared your throat, deciding it was time to share your upcoming plans. “I should mention—I’ll be leaving tonight. I have to travel to Winghaven for a few days. So if you have any issues you will have to wait a few days or got to the clinic directly.”

At that, Azriel’s gaze sharpened. “Winghaven?” His brow furrowed. “Alone?”

The note of concern in his voice was unmistakable. Though he’d never demanded details of your comings and goings before, you could sense genuine worry now. Perhaps it was the memory of his own recent injuries, or simply the protective streak you sensed running through him and his circle.

“No, not alone,” you assured him, waving a hand lightly. “Cassian will be accompanying me. I’ll be there for just three days—no more. I’m to inspect the healers in the Illyrian camps, starting with Winghaven, and see what improvements can be made.”

Azriel’s shoulders eased a fraction at the mention of Cassian. “Good,” he said quietly. “Cassian knows the terrain and the people well. He’ll keep an eye out.”

You offered a small laugh, though it carried traces of earnest relief. “I’m counting on that. I’m prepared for skepticism, but at least I won’t be going in blind.”

Azriel regarded you steadily for a moment. The silence felt strangely comfortable, his eyes holding yours but revealing nothing that would add to your confusion. Finally, he nodded. “Then I wish you a safe journey. If anyone can bring them new wisdom, it’s you.”

You inclined your head in thanks, feeling the odd weight of unspoken things settle between you. You gathered your bag, stepping back and preparing to leave. “Rest well,” you said softly, voice gentling with sincere care. “I’ll see you when I return—if you haven’t taken flight before then.”

A ghost of a smile touched his lips. “I’ll be here, doing as you ordered, healer.”

You departed with that quiet exchange lingering in your mind, the simple comfort of knowing he’d be on the mend as you embarked on your own task. The golden thread that you carried alone remained silent in your chest, and you tried not to linger on it. For now, purpose called you to Winghaven, and he had recovery and patience ahead. It was enough.

Those three days in Illyria were challenging, to say the least. You’d arrived with Cassian after a lengthy journey through mountain passes and windblown valleys, the chill air biting at your cheeks. Your first night was spent in Rhysand’s mother’s old cottage—an unexpected sanctuary tucked into the rugged landscape. The walls hummed softly with old memories, but provided a safe place to rest before the real work began the next morning.

You settled in as dusk wrapped the world in quiet shadows. Cassian had started a small fire in the hearth, coaxing warmth into the modest room. You sat across from him, knees folded beneath you on a low cushion. He offered you a cup of something hot and spiced, the scent of cinnamon and cloves wafting between you. Outside, the wind sighed against the wooden shutters, a distant chorus of wolves or perhaps just the moan of the breeze in the pines.

The conversation drifted naturally toward personal matters. Perhaps it was the calm crackle of the fire or the sense of isolation out here that made it easier to speak of things long unspoken.

“So,” Cassian began, leaning forward on his elbows, his tone gentle but curious, “you’ve traveled a great deal. Dawn Court healers, crossing seas for rare herbs… I’ve heard bits and pieces, but never your own version.”

You fiddled with the rim of your cup, gaze flicking to the flames. “I suppose you’d like to know why I left the Night Court in the first place,” you said, voice low.

He dipped his chin. “If you don’t mind sharing. I know you trained under Madja for a time. But then… you disappeared for centuries.”

You exhaled, the memory tugging gently at your heart. “I was a child during the first war,” you began, words careful. “I saw enough pain and loss in those early years to shape my entire understanding of healing. Madja took me under her wing afterward, teaching me for more than fifty years—an eternity to a child, but a mere blink to her. She was patient, strict when necessary, and always kind. But besides her…” You paused, searching for the right words. “I had no attachments. My parents, my kin—lost to war or scattered.”

Cassian nodded, respectful silence encouraging you onward.

“After those decades, I met a renowned healer from the Dawn Court—someone who saw a spark in me. He said I had a gift worth honing further than what the Night Court alone could offer. At first, I resisted. This was my home, wasn’t it?” You gave a hollow laugh. “But I felt… stuck, I suppose. Prythian was changing, and we were all rebuilding from ash and smoke. Yet I wanted to see more of the world, learn techniques from healers who knew magics and herbs I’d never even dreamed of.”

Cassian’s eyes gleamed with understanding. “So you left for experience.”

You nodded. “Exactly. The Night Court has always been a place of shadows and hidden strengths, and I love it for that. But I craved something more—new visions, new methods. Dawn Court healers taught me how to harness starlight in potions. In the Summer Court, I learned to treat venomous wounds from creatures that lurk in coral reefs. Across the seas, I found healing arts that rely on sound vibrations rather than herbs. Every place offered something unique, something that layered onto my understanding of healing until I could weave it all together.”

Cassian tilted his head, a small, admiring smile curving his mouth. “No wonder you could do what you did for Az,” he said softly. “You brought back a piece of every land to save him.”

You swallowed, touched by his words. “I hope so. Returning… it wasn’t part of my plan. But Madja asked, and I couldn’t refuse her. Besides, maybe I’ve gathered enough threads now to weave something truly worthwhile here at home. Maybe I won’t feel stuck this time.”

Cassian’s gaze drifted over the small room—old furniture, worn curtains, the echoes of a past High Lady who once dwelled here. “You left a home that felt too small,” he said, “and came back with a world’s worth of knowledge. You’re changing the Night Court already, I can tell.”

His sincerity warmed you almost as much as the fire. “It might be too soon to say it but I trully wish that I will be able to help”

Outside, the night howled softly, and beyond that, Winghaven waited—skeptical healers, reluctant warriors, a land that would test your resolve. But for tonight, here in this cottage, you had honesty and understanding. Cassian, it seemed, respected your journey, and in turn, you respected the loyalty and openness he offered.

You sipped your hot drink, and Cassian spoke of Illyria’s challenges: old traditions that died hard, camp leaders who would eye you suspiciously. You listened, grateful for the insight and glad for the company. Three days in Winghaven would be short, but intense. At least you would not face it ignorant or alone. And when you returned to Velaris, you’d do so with fresh perspective, your choices affirmed by the understanding gleaned here tonight.

The teacup in your hands had grown lukewarm. Outside, the night was dark and silent, and within the old cottage’s modest walls, you and Cassian had settled into a gentle rhythm of conversation. You had shared bits of your life, your wanderings, and the layers of healing knowledge you carried. He, in turn, had given you insight into the Illyrian camps, the challenges you’d face in Winghaven.

But your mind, restless even after the day’s trials, drifted to the quiet tension you’d sensed in the House of Wind—particularly around Elain and Azriel. You remembered Rhysand’s firm stance, Azriel’s simmering frustration, and Elain’s tearful regret. Maybe it was none of your business. In fact, you knew it probably wasn’t. Yet the curiosity gnawed at you.

Swallowing your reservations, you glanced at Cassian, who sat across from you, relaxed yet ever watchful. He had answered your questions willingly so far. Would he answer this one? You took a breath and ventured, “Cassian, can I ask you something more personal?”

He raised an eyebrow, curious but not wary. “You can ask,” he allowed, a hint of amusement flickering in his eyes. “I can’t promise I’ll answer.”

You tried a faint smile. “Fair enough.” You hesitated only a moment before plunging ahead. “The Archeron sisters—they’re all closely linked to the High Lord and High Lady, yes? I’ve met Feyre, of course. But I’ve heard of Nesta, Elain… They seem important to this court. Could you… tell me a bit about them?”

Cassian’s expression changed subtly, as though he were sorting through what he could say. He took a sip from his mug, gaze drifting to the fire before coming back to meet your eyes. “Important might be an understatement,” he said quietly. “Feyre, as you know, is our High Lady. She and Rhys… well, they hold this court together in ways I never thought possible.”

You nodded, encouraging him without words to continue.

“There are three Archeron sisters in total,” Cassian went on, choosing each word with care. “Feyre, Nesta, and Elain. Each of them is very different. Feyre’s heart is this court’s beacon, always thinking of others, guiding us with compassion. Nesta… she’s complicated. Strong-willed, fierce, often prickly. She’s fought her own battles, overcome demons both inside and out. And Elain—” He paused, a subtle tension passing over his face. “Elain is gentle. Kind. She sees the good in everyone, wants to help.”

You swallowed, recalling Elain’s well-meaning but disastrous attempt to help Azriel. “I see. They must have deep bonds with you all.”

Cassian’s grin was wry, as if acknowledging a private joke. “Deep bonds indeed. They’re not just important to the court, they’re part of us—Rhys’s family, our family. We’d do anything for them.”

You considered his words. The Archeron sisters each had distinct roles and personalities. Feyre the High Lady, Nesta the warrior spirit (if what you gleaned from rumors was true), and Elain the gentle heart. “It sounds like they’ve all been through a lot,” you said softly.

“You have no idea,” Cassian replied, voice quieter. “War, transformations, personal struggles—those three have endured trials that would break many.”

Your gaze lowered, understanding dawning. Whatever had happened to them, it had forged unbreakable bonds not only with each other but also with these Illyrian warriors and the High Lord. You remembered Elain’s desperation at Azriel’s bedside, that fierce concern that led her astray. Perhaps it made sense now—she was a nurturer, wanting to help but lacking the knowledge. Her role within this tight-knit circle might explain why she was so devastated by her mistake.

You raised your eyes again, meeting Cassian’s gaze. “I see,” you said quietly. “I suppose they mean as much to each other as they mean to you all.”

He nodded, his stance relaxing again. “They’re family. And in this court, family isn’t just blood—it’s chosen. Earned. The Archerons earned their place in all our hearts, scars and all.”

As Cassian spoke, you saw a certain softness enter his gaze, especially when he spoke of Nesta. He lingered over her name, voice turning fond and respectful in a way that stood out. You took a careful sip of your cooling tea, weighing whether to pry further. Finally, you couldn’t help it: his tone when mentioning Nesta was unmistakable.

He caught your curious glance and let out a low, rueful laugh. “I suppose there’s no hiding it. Nesta is my mate,” he admitted, voice quiet but steady. The corners of his mouth curved into a small, proud smile. “It took us a while to find our footing, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

Your thoughts spun for a moment, and you had to swallow a surprised breath. Feyre and Rhysand were mates, you’d learned that quickly enough. Now Nesta and Cassian. A fleeting, wry thought crossed your mind: three Archeron sisters, three Illyrian warriors, three mates? Was it so neatly arranged?

Cassian’s gaze sharpened slightly, as if reading your thoughts. He raised a hand, palm outward, as though to forestall your assumptions. “I know what you’re thinking,” he said, tone turning wry. “Three brothers for three sisters. But it’s not that simple.”

You blinked, surprised that he’d guessed your train of thought. He set down his mug and sighed. “Elain already has a mate—Lucien.” He paused, letting the weight of that name settle in the small room. You hadn’t met Lucien yet, but you’d heard whispers of a fox-eyed male with keen wit and wandering loyalties. “That bond was forged during the war, under extraordinary circumstances. Yet Elain’s relationship with Azriel…” He trailed off, choosing his next words carefully.

Your brow furrowed, curiosity piqued. “I gather it’s complicated?”

Cassian gave a solemn nod. “Complicated doesn’t begin to cover it,” he said. “Elain’s mate is Lucien, but her feelings—her choices—don’t neatly follow the bond’s dictates. And Az… Az and Elain have a certain understanding, a closeness that’s never found a clear label. It’s delicate, messy. Not something any of us can force or resolve easily.”

Your heart twisted with new understanding. Elain’s tearful face by Azriel’s bedside, her desperate attempt to help him, made sense in a different light now. She was caught between a mate-bond she couldn’t ignore and feelings for another. The tension you’d sensed back in the House of Wind, the argument between Azriel and Rhysand, the High Lord’s firm stance—this was part of that tangled knot of loyalties and love.

You leaned back in your chair, fingers tightening around the mug. “That’s… a lot to untangle,” you said softly, marveling at the complexity of the lives you’d stepped into upon returning to the Night Court. “I suppose healing hearts is even harder than healing wounds.”

Cassian’s smile was gentler now, his eyes reflecting a sad sort of understanding. “You have no idea,” he murmured. “But we make do. We try our best, all of us.”

And so you sat there, in Rhysand’s mother’s old cottage, the fire crackling softly. The weight of destiny, bonds, and unspoken wishes pressed in around you. Three days in Winghaven would be challenging enough, but these people’s lives—filled with bonds that sometimes knotted rather than wove together—reminded you that not all healing could be done with herbs and salves. Sometimes, it was about patience, understanding, and the acceptance that not every wound could be closed neatly.

You said nothing more about it, not now. You’d carry this knowledge silently, weaving it into your understanding of the court and the people who had become part of your new world.

Over the following days in Winghaven, your schedule unfolded with steady precision. You’d arrived with a clear plan: assess the camp’s existing healer teams, identify gaps in their knowledge and supplies, and demonstrate a few techniques that might broaden their capabilities. With Cassian hovering protectively in the background, you were able to move through each task smoothly, guiding younger healers and checking on several patients who had been awaiting more advanced care.

On the first morning, you stood under a makeshift awning behind the camp’s central barracks, watching as a trio of Illyrian healers prepared poultices from dried herbs. They worked diligently, but with a certain mechanical repetition that hinted at a narrow scope of training. You introduced yourself, explaining that you were here at the High Lord’s request to advise and improve methods. One of them, a middle-aged healer named Serain, looked at you with polite skepticism.

“Been doing it this way for decades,” she said, packing a poultice into a cloth bundle. “We know how to close a wound and set a bone. What more do we need?”

You offered a measured smile, crouching beside them. “Closing wounds and setting bones are vital, yes. But have you tried using crushed frost-lily petals for inflammation, or incorporating a mild healing spell to halt bleeding before you stitch?”

They exchanged glances, intrigue sparking behind their guarded eyes. By mid-afternoon, they were asking quiet questions: what if they added a teaspoon of powdered ash-root to their salve for deeper burns? How did you stabilize a patient’s temperature overnight in the harsh winters? Slowly, their skepticism turned to curiosity, and by the end of the day, they were taking notes on your suggestions.

Between these lessons, you wandered the camp with Cassian shadowing you, stopping to speak with patients recuperating in cramped tents. One young Illyrian warrior, wing bandaged awkwardly against his side, stared at you warily when you entered.

“You’re from Velaris?” he asked, voice thick with bitterness. “What do you lot know about Illyrian injuries?”

You met his glare steadily. “A wing is a wing,” you replied, voice calm. “Tendons, membranes, blood vessels—it’s anatomy. If you allow me, I can show you a gentler binding technique that will let it breathe and heal faster.”

He snorted, but Cassian cleared his throat meaningfully, and the warrior grudgingly allowed it. By the time you finished adjusting his bandage, he flexed his wing gingerly and looked surprised by the improvement. “Huh,” he murmured, grudging respect coloring his tone. “Thank you.”

“Sometimes small changes make a big difference,” you said, standing and dusting off your hands. “No matter where I’m from.”

On the second day, you found yourself face-to-face with Delvon, the camp’s leader. You’d been warned about him by Cassian the night before, but mere words didn’t prepare you for the man’s presence. He strutted toward you as you emerged from a storage hut, his dark eyes narrowed and jaw set, wings mantling behind him as if to emphasize his status.

“So, you’re the ‘expert’ the High Lord sent,” Delvon said, voice dripping with sarcastic disdain. He looked you over as if assessing livestock, arms crossed over his broad chest. “Come to tell us how to heal our own warriors, have you?”

You inclined your head slightly, forcing a polite smile. “I’m here to offer knowledge that may help your people recover faster and better. If you wish to view it as an intrusion, that’s your choice.”

He snorted, stepping closer, invading your personal space. “We’ve managed for generations without Velaris meddling. Next you’ll be telling us how to fight our battles.”

You stood your ground, lifting your chin. “I’m not here to discuss your battle tactics, only to ensure your injured don’t suffer more than necessary.”

Delvon’s lip curled in a sneer. “All that fancy technique and gentle touches—waste of time if they can’t get back to the battlefield. But do as you will, we can ignore it if it’s useless.” With that, he stormed off, wings flaring as if to punctuate his dismissal.

Cassian appeared at your shoulder, having watched from a distance. He rolled his eyes. “That went about as well as expected,” he murmured dryly.

You sighed, tension easing at his words. “At least I know why everyone despises him,” you replied under your breath. “He’s impossible.”

“Delvon’s a relic,” Cassian said, voice low. “A time will come when leaders like him are replaced. Until then, just focus on those who listen.”

And so you did. Despite Delvon’s hostility, you spent your third and final day in Winghaven conducting a brief demonstration for a handful of healers who’d shown genuine interest. You guided them through mixing a new salve that combined Illyrian herbs with a Dawn Court technique of magically infusing warmth into the mixture. A few nodded in quiet approval, clearly seeing the salve’s potential.

When dusk fell on your last evening in Winghaven, you looked over the camp from the edge of a plateau, Cassian beside you. The wind tugged at your hair, carrying the scents of pine and distant snow.

“You made some progress,” Cassian observed.

You let a small, wry smile slip onto your lips. “Some, yes. Enough to plant seeds of change, I hope.”

He laid a comforting hand on your shoulder. “It’s all we can do. Now, let’s head back. Velaris awaits.”

With a final glance at the camp, you turned away, a pocketful of new experiences and a touch more understanding of the Illyrian people weighting your steps. Change might be slow, but you had played your part, and tomorrow, you would return home with new lessons learned.

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kleopatra45 · 7 months ago

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Mars in the Houses [Solar Return]

1st House

Mars in the 1st house of your Solar Return chart energizes your entire year. You’re likely to feel more assertive, confident, and eager to take the lead. This placement encourages you to pursue your goals with determination, but be mindful of impulsiveness or aggression in your interactions.

2nd House

With Mars in the 2nd house, your focus shifts to financial matters and personal values. You may feel driven to increase your income or acquire possessions, often with a competitive edge. This year encourages assertiveness in managing resources, but watch out for spending impulsively.

3rd House

Mars in the 3rd house boosts your communication skills and mental energy. You’re likely to engage in lively debates, pursue learning with vigor, and take short trips or engage in community activities. This placement can create a fast-paced environment, so be mindful of impatience or conflict in conversations.

4th House

With Mars in the 4th house, your home and family life take on greater importance. You may feel motivated to make changes to your living situation, renovate, or deal with family dynamics. This placement can bring both initiative and tension to your domestic environment, so strive for balance.

5th House

Mars in the 5th house ignites your creative passions and romantic pursuits. You’re likely to take bold steps in expressing yourself, whether through art, hobbies, or love affairs. This year encourages fun and excitement, but be cautious of risk-taking behavior or competitive attitudes in love.

6th House

With Mars in the 6th house, your work and health become central themes. You may feel driven to take on new tasks, improve your routines, or focus on fitness goals. This placement enhances productivity but can also lead to stress or conflicts at work, so prioritize balance and self-care.

7th House

Mars in the 7th house brings energy and assertiveness to your relationships and partnerships. You’re likely to take the lead in forming connections, but this can also lead to conflicts or power struggles. This year encourages you to assert your needs in relationships while striving for harmony.

8th House

With Mars in the 8th house, you’re drawn to deep transformations and intense experiences. You may feel compelled to explore issues of power, control, or shared resources. This placement can bring a strong drive for change but may also stir up hidden tensions or desires.

9th House

Mars in the 9th house fuels your desire for adventure and exploration. You may pursue travel, higher education, or philosophical debates with passion. This year encourages expanding your horizons and challenging your beliefs, but be aware of becoming too forceful in your opinions or actions.

10th House

With Mars in the 10th house, your career and public life take center stage. You’re likely to pursue professional goals with ambition and determination, seeking recognition or leadership roles. This placement can lead to significant achievements but may also bring conflicts with authority figures.

11th House

Mars in the 11th house energizes your social life and involvement in groups or causes. You may take an active role in friendships or community efforts, driven by shared goals. This year encourages collaboration and networking, but be mindful of potential clashes with others in group settings.

12th House

With Mars in the 12th house, your energy may turn inward, focusing on subconscious drives or spiritual pursuits. You may feel compelled to confront hidden fears or work behind the scenes on important projects. This placement encourages introspection and healing, but watch out for repressed anger or frustration.

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reidmarieprentiss · 6 months ago

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Federal Beach Investigation

Summary: You are on spring break in Florida where the BAU is investigating a string of murders.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Category: fluff, angst

Warnings/Includes: talks of case, danger, slapping, fear, investigation

Word count: 4k

a/n: i can just imagine our poor baby wanting to help but scaring us so bad because he doesn't know how to not be serious

main masterlist

The sun was setting over the Florida beach, casting a warm orange glow over the lively spring break crowd. Music pulsed through the air, the bass thumping in time with the waves crashing against the shore. You had been dancing for what felt like hours, your feet moving instinctively to the beat, your skin glistening with sweat and salt from the ocean breeze. Your friends were still lost in the music, but you decided it was time for a small break. You excused yourself with a laugh and made your way toward the bar, craving something cold and refreshing.

As you waited for the bartender to circle back to you, your eyes drifted over the lively scene. People were dancing, laughing, and soaking in the carefree vibe that only a spring break beach party could offer. The bartender was busy mixing drinks, his hands a blur as he catered to the rowdy crowd. You tapped your fingers on the bar, your thoughts a pleasant buzz from the music and the warm evening air.

Suddenly, you felt it—a hand on your bare waist, gentle but firm, like it belonged there. Your first instinct was to spin around and give whoever it was a piece of your mind. You didn’t need random people touching you, especially not some guy who probably thought he could flirt his way into your night. But just as your irritation started to build, a low voice spoke into your ear, calm but urgent.

“Don’t panic,” the voice said, his breath warm against your skin. “There’s a man who’s been following you. I’m an agent with the FBI. I need you to look and tell me if you know him.”

Your heart skipped a beat, the casual atmosphere of the beach party shattering in an instant. FBI? Following you? This had to be a joke, right? You slowly turned your head, trying to get a look at the person speaking to you. He was tall, with a lean build that seemed out of place amidst the carefree beachgoers. His eyes were serious, and there was a calm authority in his demeanor that made you believe he could be telling the truth. But your stomach churned with nerves, disbelief mingling with fear.

“Who?” you managed to ask, your voice barely above a whisper. You scanned the crowd behind him, your gaze darting over the masses of people dancing, drinking, and enjoying the night. It was a sea of faces, none of them standing out. “There’s so many people.”

The agent kept his hand on your waist, a grounding presence in the chaos. “He’s wearing jeans and a long-sleeve shirt. On the beach.”

You blinked, the description clicking in your mind. Who the hell wears jeans and a long-sleeve to a beach party? Your eyes narrowed as you scanned the crowd more carefully, searching for the oddity in the sea of swimsuits and sundresses. Then you saw him—a man standing a little too still, a little too focused. His dark jeans and long-sleeved shirt made him stick out like a sore thumb among the beachgoers. And his eyes... they were locked on you.

Your stomach dropped. “Oh, I see him,” you said, your voice shaky. “No, I don’t know who that is.”

The agent’s grip on your waist tightened ever so slightly, a subtle reassurance. “Okay,” he said calmly, his tone professional. “Just stay with me. We’re going to move, casually, like nothing’s wrong. We’ll blend in with the crowd.”

You nodded, swallowing hard. The beach that had felt so full of life and fun now seemed filled with shadows and threats. You could feel your pulse quicken, but the agent’s steady presence kept you grounded. Together, you started to move through the crowd, his hand never leaving your waist, guiding you with a quiet confidence that made you believe that everything would be okay.

“Can you tell me what’s going on? Why is the FBI here?” you asked, your voice laced with confusion and a touch of fear as the agent continued to guide you further away from the crowded beach. The music and laughter seemed distant now, replaced by the pounding of your heart and the seriousness of the situation.

The agent glanced at you, his expression unreadable but his tone reassuring. “I’ll tell you everything as soon as I know you’re safe.”

You hesitated but followed him, your mind racing with a million questions. Who was this guy? What was happening? Why did it have to involve you? The warm sand shifted beneath your feet as you walked, the noise of the party growing fainter until you finally reached an SUV parked away from the crowd. The agent moved swiftly, opening the door for you, his demeanor professional yet urgent. But as you looked at the open door, a nagging doubt crept into your mind.

“Um… can you show me your credentials?” you asked, your voice steady despite the rising tension. “I don’t want to just get in your car.”

The agent paused, his expression softening with understanding. “Yeah, sorry, of course.” He reached into his jacket and pulled out a badge, flipping it open to reveal his identification. “I’m Dr. Spencer Reid. I work with the Behavioral Analysis Unit at the FBI.”

You examined the badge, your eyes scanning the information quickly. The name, the title, the official seal—it all seemed legitimate. You nodded, feeling a bit more at ease. “Okay, okay.” You slid into the car, the cool leather of the seat a stark contrast to the warmth of the beach. Spencer closed the door behind you before rounding the SUV to get in on the other side.

Once inside, he took a moment to glance at you, his eyes softening just a bit. “Thank you for coming with me,” he started, his voice gentle. “My team is here investigating a string of murders. I was canvassing the beach when I saw you.”

“Saw me?” you repeated, your confusion deepening. “I thought you said the man was following me.”

“Yeah, yes, he is… was,” Spencer corrected, fumbling slightly with his words. He seemed to take a breath before continuing, his tone more focused. “You fit the victimology of the women who have been kidnapped and assaulted. I was on my way to talk to you when I noticed him watching you.”

Your stomach dropped at his words, a cold shiver running down your spine. “So you just let him go?” you asked, the fear creeping back into your voice.

“Not exactly,” Spencer replied quickly, shaking his head. “My partner went after him.”

You took a deep breath, trying to process everything. Your mind was spinning with all the new information, and you couldn’t quite wrap your head around what had just happened. “Okay… so now what? Are you going to take me back to my hotel?” you asked, hoping for some clarity, some direction.

“I can do that,” Spencer replied, his voice hesitant. “Or really, you could go back to the beach, I—I’m not entirely sure where to go from here.”

You blinked at him, surprised by his uncertainty. “Haven’t you done this before?”

“Well, yes. But I have never taken a potential victim to my car… I guess I got swept up,” he admitted, his cheeks flushing slightly, as if embarrassed by his own confession.

“You said I can leave, right?” you pressed, your wariness growing.

“Yes, of course. Do you want me to check if my partner got the guy?” he asked, his concern evident in his voice.

“No, I’m good, thank you,” you replied quickly, the alarm bells in your mind growing louder.

Without another word, you jumped out of the car, your heart pounding in your chest. You didn’t look back as you sprinted away from the SUV, putting as much distance between you and the agent as possible. His nervous energy, his fumbling words, his uncertainty—it all made you question if he was really who he said he was. What if he was the one after you?

Spencer watched as you bolted from the car, a heavy sigh escaping his lips as he slumped back in his seat. The realization hit him hard: he had been the one to creep you out. Emily always joked that his IQ dropped around pretty girls, but this time, it seemed like his entire common sense had taken a nosedive. Why did he take you to the car? He knew better than that. Now, he was left staring after you, hoping you wouldn’t be putting yourself into trouble by going back to the beach.

Spencer’s phone rang, pulling him from his thoughts. He glanced at the screen before answering, “Spencer Reid.”

“Reid, that wasn’t our guy. He was just your garden variety pervert, creeping on girls in swimsuits,” Derek’s voice came through, casual but with a hint of annoyance.

“Seriously?” Spencer’s heart sank. “So he’s still out there?”

“Yeah, we didn’t have anything on him. What’s up?” Derek asked, sensing something was off.

Spencer hesitated before admitting, “That girl, she just went back to the beach.”

“Why?” Derek’s curiosity was evident.

“I… scared her,” Spencer confessed, feeling a twinge of guilt.

There was a pause, and then Derek chuckled, the amusement clear in his voice. “She thought you were the unsub, didn’t she?” Spencer could practically see Derek’s smirk through the phone.

“Shut up,” Spencer grumbled, feeling his cheeks flush with embarrassment. “...Yes.”

Derek’s laughter echoed through the phone. “Well, maybe you should find her, explain yourself. She did fit the victimology; maybe she knows our unsub.”

Spencer sighed, knowing Derek was right. “Great. Got it.”

“Good luck, pretty boy. Don’t scare her again,” Derek teased before hanging up.

Spencer pocketed his phone, feeling the weight of the situation settle on his shoulders. He had to find you and explain, not just for his sake, but because there was still a dangerous man out there—and you might be closer to him than anyone realized.

—

“You guys, it was so weird!” you exclaimed, your voice a mix of disbelief and lingering fear as you recounted the events to your friends. “He just grabbed me, and then there was this guy watching me, and then the agent or doctor or whoever he was took me to his car! I thought I was going to be kidnapped!”

Lynn’s eyes widened in horror. “That’s so scary! What did the guy look like?”

“He was tall, lanky, had shaggy hair, kind of a pretty boy, and he was wearing a button-up shirt. Like, come on, it’s hot out here!” you said, shaking your head in disbelief at the memory.

Jayce suddenly stiffened, their eyes darting past you. “Uhhh, I swear to God that guy is walking over here right now,” they said, their voice tinged with panic.

“What?” You whipped around, your heart skipping a beat when you saw Spencer approaching. “Oh, hell no. We gotta move.”

Without wasting another second, you and your friends started weaving through the groups of people on the beach, trying to put as much distance between you and the man who had just turned your evening upside down.

“Wait! I’m sorry! I need to talk to you!” Spencer called out, his voice strained as he picked up his pace, trying to catch up to you. But the crowded beach made it difficult for him to move quickly, the sea of partiers barely noticing his attempts to get through. Frustration and desperation colored his tone as he shouted, “FBI! Move!”

You heard him, but the adrenaline pumping through your veins wouldn’t let you stop. You pushed forward, determined to get away. However, Spencer’s long legs finally closed the distance, and you felt his hand grab your wrist, pulling you to a sudden halt.

“Hey! Let me go!” you shouted, spinning around in a flash of panic and anger. Without thinking, you lashed out, your hand connecting with his face in a sharp slap.

Spencer recoiled slightly, his eyes widening in shock, not expecting the slap. But he didn’t let go of your wrist, his grip firm yet gentle. “Please, just listen,” he said, his voice pleading, desperation lacing his words. “I’m not trying to hurt you—I just need to explain.”

But in that moment, all you could think about was getting free, getting away from the man who had scared you more than the potential threat he was supposedly protecting you from.

“Fuck you, let me go, man!” you yelled, twisting and struggling in Spencer’s grip. “This hurts!”

Spencer’s eyes widened, and he immediately loosened his hold, his face a mix of concern and regret. “Okay, okay, what if I have another agent come and talk to you instead? A woman even?” he offered, his voice softening as he tried to calm you down.

“Fine, fine! Just stay away from me,” you demanded, your voice shaky but firm.

Spencer nodded, releasing your wrist and lifting his hands in surrender, showing you he meant no harm. He quickly pulled out his phone and made a call, his voice low as he spoke to someone on the other end. Within minutes, he managed to convince you and your friends to move toward the edge of the beach, away from the crowds, at least until the other agent arrived.

Soon, a blonde woman in a professional yet approachable demeanor approached, her expression warm and reassuring. “Hi, I’m Agent Jareau. I appreciate you speaking with us, and I’m really sorry about Doctor Reid here. He’s completely harmless, I promise. Pretty women and exposed skin tend to make his brain shut down,” she said with a playful smirk, trying to lighten the mood.

“Hey!” Spencer protested, his cheeks turning a deep shade of red.

You couldn’t help but laugh, though it was tinged with nervousness. “What do you guys want, Ms. Jareau?” you asked, your tone cautious but more relaxed now that someone else had taken over.

JJ smiled sympathetically. “Can you come back to the precinct with us? Please? We have some questions regarding the string of murders. You fit the victimology to a T, and we’re curious to know if you might know the unsub.”

You hesitated, the gravity of the situation sinking in. “Okay… I’ll ride with you. But can we drop my friends off at the hotel first?”

“Yes, of course. Thank you,” JJ replied, her tone grateful. She then turned to Spencer, giving him a reassuring nod. “Spence, I got it from here.”

Spencer looked at you one last time, his expression apologetic, before stepping back to let JJ handle the rest. You watched him for a moment, still wary but starting to believe that maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t the bad guy in this scenario.

—

At the precinct, you found yourself seated in a quiet office with JJ and Emily. The atmosphere was serious, but both agents carried a sense of calm that put you slightly at ease. They began asking you questions about the man they were looking for, hoping that something you knew might help them catch the unsub.

As they described what they knew so far, you frowned, a memory stirring in the back of your mind. “Um… that kind of sounds like this guy that was hitting on me. His name was Adam,” you said, your voice tentative.

JJ and Emily exchanged a quick glance before Emily leaned forward. “Where is Adam?” she asked, her tone direct but not harsh.

“I don’t know,” you admitted, shaking your head. “We met at one of the bars on the beachfront. He was weird.”

“Weird how?” JJ prompted gently, her eyes searching yours for any detail that might be important.

“He, um, he kept flirting with me, even though I was really clear that I wasn’t looking for anything. Not even a spring break fling,” you explained, the memory of the encounter making you shudder slightly.

Emily’s eyes narrowed in thought. “Did you get his phone number?”

“Yeah, he put it in my phone,” you replied, feeling a bit uneasy as you remembered how insistent he had been. “He was kind of… opposing. Like he wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

JJ nodded, her expression serious but understanding. “Okay, can you give us his number, please?”

“Of course,” you said, pulling out your phone and finding the contact information. You handed it over, hoping that this small detail could help them find whoever was responsible for the terrifying situation unfolding around you.

“Can you stay here until we find Adam? We want to make sure you’re safe,” Emily suggested, her tone warm but serious.

You nodded, still processing everything. “Uh, yeah.”

JJ’s expression softened with concern. “Are you okay?”

“Mhm… I feel bad about hitting a federal agent,” you admitted, your voice quiet as the guilt settled in.

Emily’s eyes widened in surprise. “Who did you hit?”

JJ, unable to contain herself, snorted. “Did you hit Reid?”

“Is that the doctor?” you asked, unsure if you were following correctly.

“Yes,” JJ confirmed, a hint of amusement in her voice.

“Then yes,” you replied, feeling your cheeks flush with embarrassment.

Both women burst into laughter, the sound filling the office. You couldn’t help but crack a small smile, even if you still felt awkward about the whole situation.

After a moment, Emily, still chuckling, asked, “Why did you hit him?”

You hesitated, then shrugged. “He grabbed my wrist, and I thought… I don’t know, I panicked. He seemed so nervous and awkward, and I was already on edge. I guess I just reacted.”

JJ shook her head, still smiling. “Don’t worry, Reid’s tougher than he looks. He’ll be fine.”

Emily nodded in agreement, a twinkle of humor in her eyes. “Yeah, he’s used to dealing with all sorts of things. I’m sure he’ll understand once we explain everything.”

“Who knows,” JJ said with a playful wiggle of her brows, “maybe he liked it. He couldn’t seem to keep it together around Y/N here.”

Emily burst into genuine laughter, the kind that made heads turn in the precinct. Her amusement was contagious, and you could see a few of the other agents glancing over with curious smiles. Despite still feeling a bit uncomfortable, you found yourself starting to relax, the tension in your shoulders easing as the humor lightened the atmosphere.

“Thank you both,” you said, your voice warm with sincerity. “You’re so nice.”

JJ smiled softly, her earlier teasing tone replaced by one of genuine care. “We’re just glad you’re okay. We’re here to help, and we’ll make sure you’re safe.”

Emily nodded in agreement, still grinning. “You’re in good hands, Y/N. We’ll get this sorted out, don’t worry.”

For the first time that night, you felt a real sense of reassurance. You watched as Emily left the room, her presence comforting, but now it was just you and JJ. As JJ stood up, ready to leave as well, you hesitated for a moment before speaking.

“Um, miss?” you called out, your voice soft but steady.

JJ paused, turning back to you with a raised eyebrow, curiosity evident in her expression. “Yes?”

“Do you think I could apologize to the doctor?” you asked, feeling a small knot of guilt twist in your stomach.

JJ’s expression softened, her gentle smile returning. “Clear the air? I’m sure he would appreciate that. I can stay if you’d like,” she offered, her tone kind and understanding.

You shook your head, giving her a small, grateful smile. “No, you don’t have to stay. Thank you for offering.”

JJ nodded, her smile growing warmer. “Alright, I’ll go get him.”

As she left the room, you took a deep breath, trying to calm the fluttering in your chest. You weren’t sure why it felt so important to apologize, but something about the way Spencer had handled everything, his awkward sincerity, made you want to make things right.

Moments later, the door opened again, and Spencer stepped in, looking a bit timid, his usual confidence tempered by the earlier events. “Hello,” he said quietly, almost hesitantly.

“Hi,” you replied, feeling a mix of awkwardness and relief that this conversation was happening.

Spencer took a deep breath before speaking, his voice sincere. “I’m sorry, for today. Scaring you, grabbing you—I’m really sorry.”

“Oh, um, it’s okay,” you said, waving off the apology with a small, embarrassed smile. “I’m sorry for slapping you.”

A faint smile tugged at Spencer’s lips. “That’s not the worst thing that’s happened to me on a case. I’ll get over it.”

You couldn’t help but giggle a little at that, the tension between you easing with the shared humor.

“It’s nice to see you laughing instead of terrified,” Spencer said, his tone light, but with a genuine warmth.

“You’re a lot nicer to be around when I’m laughing instead of terrified,” you teased back, the playful remark slipping out before you could think twice.

Spencer’s smile grew, and for a moment, the stress of the night seemed to lift. “I know the other agents already asked you everything, but, uh, did you know the unsub?”

“I think so, yeah,” you replied, your tone still light but with a hint of frustration. “Some jerk who wouldn’t take no for an answer at a bar.”

“Does that happen a lot?” Spencer asked, his brow furrowing in concern.

“What? Men being dicks? Yeah,” you laughed, but it was humorless, tinged with the weariness of too many similar experiences.

“I’m sorry to hear that. You don’t deserve that,” Spencer said earnestly, his gaze softening.

You looked at him curiously. “What do I deserve, Doctor?”

“Oh, sorry,” he stammered, realizing how his words might have come across. “Another man telling you what you need, huh?”

You smiled, shaking your head slightly. “Mmm, no. This time, I’m interested to hear what you have to say.”

Spencer blushed, clearly caught off guard. “Well, all women deserve to be treated with respect and kindness.”

“And me?” you pressed, leaning in just a little, curious to see how he’d respond.

“You, uh, I guess you deserve a man who will listen to you?” he suggested, his voice unsure but sincere.

“Smart boy,” you giggled, the compliment rolling off your tongue easily.

Spencer felt a warm rush at your words, enjoying the praise perhaps a little more than he should. “I’d—I’d say I could take you on a proper, gentlemanly date, but we’ll leave Florida as soon as we close the case.”

“Now that’s a bold statement,” you teased, raising an eyebrow. “Are you assuming I would want to go out with you?”

“No, I just—based on your body language and demeanor, not to mention your flirtatious tone and word choice, I suppose, yes, I did assume you would want to go out with me,” Spencer replied, his analytical nature slipping out.

You tilted your head, impressed. “What are you, some kind of genius?”

“Yes, actually. I have an IQ of 187,” he said with a sheepish smile.

“Wow.”

“Hah, yeah,” Spencer chuckled, still a bit shy under your gaze.

“You’re right, by the way. In your assumption,” you said with a playful smile.

“Good to know,” he replied, a touch of satisfaction in his voice.

“Tell me, Doctor, do you happen to work at the FBI bureau in Quantico?” you asked, your tone still teasing.

“I do,” he confirmed, curiosity piqued.

“Well then, in the event that you close this case by, say… next weekend, do you still want to take me out?”

“What? But I won’t be here,” Spencer said, clearly confused.

“I know, neither will I. Do the math, genius.”

Spencer stared at you for a moment, his face adorably concentrated as he processed your words. Then, realization dawned on him, and his eyebrows shot up. “You live in Virginia?”

“I live in Charlottesville, but I’m willing to let you travel two hours to see me,” you said with a teasing grin.

“How kind of you,” he laughed, feeling relief and excitement.

“Well, you did basically kidnap me, and you hurt my wrist,” you pouted playfully.

“Did I really?” Spencer asked, his concern immediate as he took your arm gently in his hands, examining your wrist.

“I still prefer you to the other guy,” you said softly, your voice sincere.

Spencer’s gaze met yours, and for a brief moment, everything else seemed to fade away. Despite the chaotic night, something good had come out of it—a connection neither of you had expected.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

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mayon3sa · 7 months ago

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🗯️700 Days of you

SYNOPSIS: Part 2 for the infamous Bakugou texts

DISCLAIMER: Guys English isn't really my first language, though i understand it well i had my friend read over and give me feedback on what i should've changed and added I'm sorry if this is a let down but i tried really hard, i hope you guys enjoy any feedback is greatly appreciated, also I'm so sorry it took almost a week i kept scraping so many ideas sorry , ending was kinda rushed as well sorryyyy :((( <3

You've known Bakugou Katsuki for roughly 700 days, which is since you were 14. It's not like you knew him well, you just always saw him around your middle school, neighborhood, and at your parents' jobs. The first time you caught a glimpse of Bakugo was on the first day of middle school, the same year you would be leaving for high school. There wasn't anything special about that day, but what made you cherish that day was that he looked back at you as well.

The very first time you got to catch a glimpse of who Bakugou was as a person was through a school project. There aren't enough words in any dictionary to express your gratitude towards Aizawa for pairing you guys together. That day, you managed to get his number and meet up with him at a cafe. Looking back at that memory, you start to cry, not from sadness but embarrassment.

"Hey Bakugou, over here, I got some food for us," were the first words you had spoken to him directly. It seemed foolish to think about his response; would it be "Thank you so much, I love you, let's get married"? Not really. Maybe you had started reading too many romance mangas with Sero. "I don’t like anything that’s not spicy," he said bluntly, getting straight to the point. You would be lying if you said you weren't feeling as if he would explode any second.

"Oh, well, I can always ask for something else."

"There’s no need for that, let's just get started with the project."

"Oh, right. So, I was thinking..." As the afternoon soon turned into nighttime, you both had a pretty decent outline. Bakugou wasn’t bad, at least you didn’t think so. He was the type of person to get straight to the point of whatever he needed to communicate. Although he had trouble wrapping his head around the idea of teamwork, he was still there with you, giving you his views on your research and fixing the paper you had made.

When the night approached, you had both parted ways. That day, you could proudly say that Bakugou wasn’t as entitled as everyone made him out to be; he was smart. It came as a shock to you - getting used to his yelling was hard, but seeing him care for a school project and be somewhat smarter than you was even more surprising.

The second time you caught a glimpse of Bakugou was when you were at work. Not that you wished to be a stalker, but that's what it seemed like at the moment. As he walked through the door, both of you were stunned to see each other. Although you wished you could crawl into a hole and die in that moment, you still had to stay professional.

"Hello, welcome to Mitsumu’s Fashion headquarters. What can I help you with today?" This was the most embarrassing moment in your life. He just stood there staring at you before he spoke up, "Yeah, I’m just gonna go to my mom’s office. She told me to stop by to help her with a photoshoot." "Oh yeah. I’m supposed to be there. We can start the shoot in a few minutes. Just waiting for the next receptionist to clock in."

20 minutes went by, along with 20 minutes of your anxiety catching up to you, fearing what was to come. The shoot went by pretty smoothly in your opinion. Well, at least Bakugou posing in different outfits went well. The only thing that went south was when the other crew members whispered about you. It was as if you weren’t there.

‘She’s such a screw-up, why can’t they just fire her already i’m getting kind of annoyed having her around’ was a sentence that caught you in a trance, amongst the ‘ugh not her’ and the ‘she’s so weird’ hearing that sentence was enough to make you stop dead in your tracks.

Words hurt. They seemed to cut deeper with every passing day at work. But then you realized that perhaps not all words hurt equally. It was Bakugou who made you believe in that last sentence.

“You two over there near the lights, you’re not discreet at hiding your gossip, instead of focusing on a teenager at your grown age you should maybe focus on doing your job, see that light over there go fix it. It’s your job. She’s doing hers quite fine, Such shame the person you seem to talk about put you both in shame”

He looked at you, and you looked at him. In that moment you knew that deep down the angry Katsuki Bakugou everyone was so afraid of was a mask to hide how he felt. You realized at that moment that Bakugou wasn’t a bad person at all, he just had issues, just like everyone else, And part of you understood that it was okay that he did that. Because by the end of that day, you could say, Katsuki Bakugou was a kind person.

In your eyes, Katuski was the kindest person you could think of if you get to know him that is, and although kind isn’t a word people use when describing him, It was what you thought of him, and you certainly loved viewing him as such.

Katsuki Bakugou, who stayed sleepless nights with you in a cafe reading romance novels and hearing you rant about your favorite character

Katsuki Bakugou, who always glanced at you when sparring because you would cough more normally than what your drawbacks usually are

Katsuki Bakugou, who when you have no money pays for your food and orders more to disguise it as an eating competition saying he would win and ends up giving you his food because he claimed he didn’t like it, even though it’s his favorite

Katsuki Bakugou, Who hated physical touch but would let you cling to him whenever you got excited, scared, or sometimes needed a shoulder to cry on

Katsuki Bakugou, Who isn’t good at comforting people but tries to show support in different ways and when he’s cornered for being soft will always reply with ‘I’m just telling the truth’

That was the Bakugou you knew, or at least you thought you did. But you couldn’t recognize who stood in front of you.

Bakugo Katsuki, who now stood in front of you saying words you wish you could cancel out “We were never friends, I only let you stick around out of pity”. Maybe this was the kind of person you tried seeing in someone. But not everything goes how we want it to go, do we? In the end, it was you seeking comfort in someone else when they probably didn’t want you around.

Maybe 700 days of thinking you knew Bakugou were probably reduced to 1, the one being today. You had concluded the person you once thought was kind was just a character you decided to make in your head.

“What’s up with you, you looked like you got run over” How you wish you could smack your best friend right now, “Shindo you think you’re so funny, could you at least pretend to care, you assface” Yo Shindo, the only person you could say has seen through you, not just physically but emotionally as well.

Shindo just never seemed to leave you alone, having met you at recess one random day in kindergarten. He had spotted you and just followed you around wherever you went. You hit him multiple times with rocks hoping he would leave you alone “You can’t keep hitting me with rocks that’s mean, and I’m older than you” were the first words he had told you.

“I don’t care if you’re older just leave me alone” “No” “ Why not” “Because” “Because?” “Just Because” From that day on Yo Shindo followed you everywhere and you listened to whatever he had to say. At this moment, you wish you had thrown a tree trunk at him when you were younger.

“Get up let’s go get ice cream, you’re even making ME depressed, I don’t know what happened at UA, you don’t have to talk about it just come with me to get ice cream”

“How did you get in my house in the first place”

“I broke in”

“You’re lying, no you didn’t Yo”

“I’m kidding your mom let me in”

Hanging out with Shindo was always a way to decompress however you felt in situations. Being separated from Shindo at the start of High School was always hard to get used to. Not having him come visit you during lunch always felt so strange to you, half of your life seeing him come to your door with two bento boxes just disappear into thin air, leaving you lonely almost every day.

“Shindo is there any way I could transfer to Shiketsu”

“Not that I know of, why?”

“At school, there was this guy I started getting close with, I liked him a lot. Maybe as friends, as more, I can't tell my feelings apart but I know one thing. We started getting closer and getting to know each other, I thought he was a great guy, he would do things that just made me feel loved, not necessarily romantically loved but I felt seen with him”

“It was that comfortable feeling I get when I'm with you. If that makes sense, I thought he felt the same way since he also opened up to me. He texted me yesterday saying he didn’t want to be friends with me anymore, I thought it was a joke Shindo, i even went to the company to look for answers, I found him in the middle of a shoot and I was hoping he would tell me it was a joke but in the end, he told me‘ We were never friends, I only let you stick around out of pity’.” That sentence alone was enough to let Shindo know how you were feeling and as if on instinct he was quick to hold you against his chest as you explained how you felt

“It’s stupid to think he would feel something about me, I feel stupid Shindo I loved him a lot. Whenever I was with him I felt seen, those moments with him made me feel that someone other than you loved me, I feel so stupid, I’m so stupid to think that the boy I fell in love with never existed, it was all just what I wanted to believe Shindo”

“He never cared for me”

It had been weeks since you told Shindo about what happened. Things weren't going great, but they had taken a turn for the better. After school, Shindo would pick you up and bring snacks. Sometimes, he would take you to the library after school.

Your occasional hangouts became more frequent, and Shindo started dropping you off at school in the mornings in addition to picking you up. You began to notice a positive change in yourself, and you were proud to say that you were feeling a lot better. You weren't the only one who noticed this shift; your classmates noticed it too.

"Y/N, you seem happier, especially since that guy started dropping you off and picking you up. Are you guys dating?" Mina was quick to ask you as you showed up to class one day.

"You mean Shindo? Oh, we’re just childhood friends. He started helping me train and with my school work," you replied.

"You guys are always together. It’s almost impossible to hang out without you having plans with him," Midoriya added.

"Sorry, guys. We’ve just been catching up," you tried to clear up any rumors that might have caused any miscommunication.

Everyone had their eyes on you, watching as you spoke so highly about your 'best friend'. Especially Katsuki; he watched as you smiled, recalling all of your memories with him.

It left a sour taste in his mouth watching as you talked highly about someone else. He was never one to express his emotions well, but with you, it felt easy to try and express how he felt. He knew from the moment he stayed up with you in a library reading ‘A Silent Voice’ that he was developing feelings for you.

He was never one to indulge in emotions, but having those deep talks with you every night made him feel dumb for trying to deny his feelings.

He never confronted his emotions straight away, no matter how much Katsuki tried to adjust; he just couldn’t accept the fact that he was growing in love with you. 'Falling in love' seemed like a terrible way to describe their way of loving someone else. But again, who is he to construe about love?

Not that he purposely wished for it to be that way. Katsuki wanted nothing more than to have done things differently back then.

As time passed, he couldn't get the image of you crying out of his mind. It pained him to see you that way. It wasn't just because he liked you, but also because he knew he was the cause of your sadness. The guilt consumed him, and the thought of you moving on only added to his pain. He couldn't help but feel like a fool for what he had done to you.

Katsuki was familiar with you. He knew about your favorite romance manga, your parents' connection to his, your love for fashion, your passion for romantic comedies, your favorite subject, and your usual order at the café where you both spent countless nights. He knew you well.

Katsuki knew all your fears - spiders, carnivals, clowns, open spaces, failure, and his mom when she yelled at your co-workers. He noticed all your symptoms and sometimes felt like both of your hearts were connected. He felt crazy saying it out loud, but those moments when you both trained together, you suddenly felt everything he could think of - dizziness, nausea, chest pain, shaking, and trembling. One thing that always stuck with him was whenever you felt anxious, you would bite your fingernails. Once, he took your hands and tried to stop you from doing that, and he noticed how quickly your heartbeat calmed down and started matching his instead.

"If anyone asked him why he was so in tune with knowing you on a general level, he would say out of courtesy. But if he was asked on a deeper level, he would say his heart was calm whenever you were with him, and he yearned for that feeling and you."

He always heard from his mom that love is the most powerful thing someone can experience, in friendships, relationships, or just emotional connections with someone. He believed the majority of what his mom claimed with thoughts of his own. Love is strong, but is it strong enough to make a person?

Certainly not he thought to himself as he watched you and Shindo laugh and push each other at the carnival.

He was tired of pretending he didn’t love you, but he was also tired of not knowing how to talk to you after developing feelings for you. He messed things up, and he knows it.

It hurts to be something he so desperately wish he wasn’t, a uncommunicative person, but it hurts more than anything being nothing without you

You were gone, no one knew where you had gone they just knew you weren’t at your dorm

The only things left behind were boxes of letters and a blanket he had got you when you were sick. Everyone was distressed, teachers all around the dorms most reassuring students others talking with Nezu on finding out where you were

And all katsuki could do was hope he wouldn’t rip the letter you had wrote to him through his tears and frustration from how tight he held the letter to his heart, hoping some way you could feel how his heart was beating and in hopes of you coming back

Katsuki

Tho the smartest yet dumbest person i know,

If you’re reading this it probably means i left, well kidnapped in other terms, i’ve known for a while i would be taken, i had a gut feeling about this a long time ago so just in case i die, or don’t make it back alive i wanted to write something for you.

There’s so many things i wish i would’ve told you before i left, but sometimes not everything goes the way we wish for them to go, I Know you Bakugou, you’re probably mad i left, or you’re probably pretending to not care, maybe even wondering where i am, if you still care that is, you’ve always been the type of person to think about things too often.

That’s not the real reason i’m writing this letter for you, there’s so much i want to say but i’m afraid there won’t be enough time to do so, so i’ll say it in this letter

Katsuki Bakugou, I am in love with you, i have been from the 700 days of knowing you, but words aren’t enough to describe how i feel, i left a box under your bed, every reason why i fell in love with you is written in all of them. If i do end up being alive i want to say it to your face

But if i am dead, i want you to know you’re the first person i’ve ever truly loved in this life and hopefully i can love you the same way in my next one

And with that i ask one last thing from you, you’re a person who hates changes but please, if anything does end up going wrong i want you to pursue your dreams for bring number one, i’ll always be cheering you on

So for now this is my last goodbye Katsuki, Thank you for making me feel so at home, i still

think about what happened between us everyday but i hope the best for you in life, even if i’m not there

I love you, thank you for being my friend

Y/N

You were such a dumbass. How could he not love you, when you constantly ran through his mind, he tried to keep his emotions in touch but just as he opened the box you left him he was met with notes and items that reminded him of you. What hurt him even more was reading through all the notes you had wrote for him

One particular note had shifted his emotions complete

‘Hey katsuki, remember that time i kept freaking out over my school grades and you comforted me saying it would all be okay? I still think about that moment and how you held me close to your chest and we layed in bed, in that moment when i looked up at you i saw the reflection of my LED lights in your face and all i could think about was you, i wanted to kiss at that moment from how pretty your eyes looked’

In that moment Bakugo Katsuki knew that what he felt for you wasn’t some simple puppy crush, he craved you he knew that whatever he tried convincing himself wasn’t true at the moment

Not when he was clutching your hairpins and notes close to his chest wishing the burning sensation in his heart would stop

Weeks had gone by, You had been found by the pro heroes and all he could think about was how he wishes he was the one saving you instead. But atlas he was glad you were safe

When he had gotten word you were found but your condition was critical he wanted nothing more than to just run out of the dorms and find you, but he knew he would’ve been stopped by the teacher. So he waited, he visited the hospital you were staying at everyday, constantly asking when they would be taking visitors

Everyday he was met with the same answer ‘no’ ‘not yet we’ll let you know when she’s ready’. It was killing him not knowing whether he would get the chance to clear up his mistakes and confess to you.

But all of those thoughts suddenly vanished as he waited for the nurses to let him in

You had no memory whatsoever on when you had been rescued, according to the nurses you had woken up 6 days after being rescued by the heroes, and according to one of the nurses there was a boy who constantly kept looking for you, surely it was Shindo, the nurses had said they would bring him to your room

Shock wasn’t enough to describe how you were feeling at the moment, Staring at the guy you least expected in front of you was surely not on your bucket list at all, you were going to speak first until he beat you to it

“I have a lot to say to you so just listen to what i have to say first”

“Back then, i didn’t really know how to deal with the sudden shift in my heart, watching you smile and do things we would normally do, felt so different one random day, I don’t know when it started but watching the way your eyes would shine made my heart tighten, i knew that whatever was happening to my emotions wouldn’t go well on my part”

“So i distanced myself, i never meant any of the words i said at all, i was a asshole for saying that to you, i’m not expecting forgiveness straight away, but watching you get so close to someone else made me feel uneasy, not in a possessive way, but in a way that makes me remember everything you were doing with him you had done all of that with me”

“And when i realized my feelings and had everything sorted out, i was waiting to confront you but i waited too long and you had been kidnapped, When i read your letter i knew that if i were to get you back i would tell you as soon as i could, i didn’t wanna risk you leaving without hearing what i have to say”

“I’m in love with you, I grew in love with you and your stupid smile, your stupid rants, I love you like i’ve never loved anyone before. You’re the only person that has made me smile and I yearn for that feeling and I crave you most importantly. Before i met you i didn’t understand the true meaning of what love is but being with you made me realize it’s okay to not have everything figured out and just enjoy the present” he had finished off

“You’re an asshole”

“I know that”

“You made me cry”

“I know that”

“But at the end of the day it’s you i would rather spend all the time with arguing and clearing every mistake with katsuki, I love you and i hope we can both learn more about each other”

Though he didn’t kiss you in that moment he did pull you in a hug that warms your heart. Every day you’re thankful you got to know Katsuki 700 days of knowing him made your heart warm at the thought of getting to say you had feelings for Katsuki. Things would certainly be tough from that moment on but if it was with Katsuki it was definitely worth it in your eyes.

A/N: That letter part was heavily ib the galaxy is endless on ao3 ugh i love it sm

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