#fear if being told it IS his fault as he blames himself! and alfred is mourning as well ! he has to be the strong one!

[martyrbat]

Embalming: History, Theory, and Practice, Sixth Edition

[TEXT ID: As we yearned for physical connection with the ones we love, we also longed to be present with the ones we had lost.]

[a-bad-case-of-the-stephs]

It’s been one of those days. It’s Time for me to violently defend stephanie brown on the internet beyond what should be considered reasonable or good.

I saw an older anti stephanie brown post which blamed Steph for Robin #87 (when Bruce reveals Tim's secret identity to Spoiler and offers to train her) and all the comments and reblogs and whatever were ragging Steph and it pissed me off and it made me sad so I'm going to break down why being mad at Stephanie for something Bruce Wayne did is insane, why Stephanie is genuinely in the right, and why having the same opinion as Alfred "boy mom" Pennyworth is embarrassing.

This ones gonna be more rambly and less analysis like than my other Steph posts for the record, I just kinda need to get this off my chest.

Let's break it down.

When Batman first brings Steph onto the team as Spoiler he tells Steph Tim's secret identity. When Tim finds out his secret was told to her, he freaks out. Tim's perspective is super understandable. He feels betrayed by Bruce, because he didn't even consult or ask Tim first, a clear betrayal of Tim's trust and the supposed equality of their partnership. Especially in light of how much Tim feels he has sacrificed to keep Bruce's secret.

But lets look at the situation from Stephanies perspective. Because she is just NOT at fault here.

Here are the facts: Stephanie is approached by Batman, who has in pretty much every interaction beforehand been cold and dismissive, and who she expects to tell her to quit being Spoiler again.

This man has only ever shown an ounce of approval towards Steph's vigilantism one time before this, for like one line in Stephs very first appearance. For him to be asking her for help sets off serious alarm bells. Steph is "really scared" when Batman asks for her help to find Robin.

Robin #84

Furthermore, its important we don't take Batman at his word here. Bruce is withholding information, something he does with Steph a LOT. He says "no one" knows where Tim is, and in Robin #87, he clarifies that Robins transmitter went dead.

Robin #87

"No one" is an exaggeration of epic proportions, given that Batman has not checked Tim's boarding school, or contacted Alfred, the location which it is overwhelmingly likely he is at, and the person who would be able to check extremely easily.

Robin #87

Because Bruce didn't want to go to Brentwood himself and run into Alfred, or have to speak to Alfred, on account of their fight in Officer Down, he sends Steph.

While the fear and worry Steph is portrayed with in Robin #84 doesn't really carry over to #87 (one of the numerous inconsistencies between these two issues) the fact of the matter is Steph is misled by Batman about the stakes of Tim being missing, which she is led to believe are much higher than they are.

In addition to this, Stephanie was under the impression that Tim was only ever holding back his secret ID soley because of Batman's wishes, that Tim was just waiting on Batman to change his mind.

Robin #56 #75 #82 #62

Tim will assert this is true later, and he certain says this is true beforehand.

If he's telling the truth, he doesn't have an issue with Steph knowing his identity. He has an issue with Batman telling her without checking with him first.

How is Steph supposed to infer this?

Steph has no reason to think it's important that Batman checks with Tim, because Tim has made it abundantly clear to her that he does want her to know but has just been waiting on Batman's approval.

Let's look how Steph acts when she meets Robin knowing his identity for the first time.

Robin #87

Steph enters the situation seeming to believe Tim will feel happy for her and relieved that their relationship no longer has to be as one sided as it has been. She still leaves room for Tim potentially having conflicted feelings, by mentioning she "hopes" that it's okay with Tim that she's finally on the main team. Tim, as mentioned early, freaks out.

Again, Tim's frustration is understandable. But let's look at Steph's dialogue for a second.

Robin #87

She says "we can be together now". This is weird and really interesting choice, because Tim and Steph have been dating for the entirety of No Man's Land and over the course of her entire pregnancy. This is a substantial amount of time. So what does Steph mean by "now"? There are two explantations.

Steph and Tim were not on speaking terms before this, because Steph was under the impression Tim had been cheating on her. He isn't cheating, but it surprisingly never gets resolved. Like the many other threads which were brought up in Robin #84, it gets completely ignored in Robin #87 and onward. Steph could be referring to the fact that she believes they couldn't be together because he was supposably cheating, but now that she knows his secret identity, he has no reason to cheat anymore. This is a super flimsy idea however, and given the fact that no character brings up how Steph believes Tim was cheating with Star after Robin #84, the logical conclusion is that it was either resolved off screen, or retconned.

The second explanation is much stronger. Steph says "now" because despite the fact that they have been dating for so long, their relationship has been extremely unbalanced. She's been closed off to half of Tim's life, something she agrees to when they first get together, but clearly has taken a toll on her. To the point she says "now" because, to her, the relationship never really truly started.

Robin #80

This isn't a stupid or petty complaint, for the record. Tim has seen her at her worst, he was there for there immediately before and after childbirth, but she doesn't get to know anything about an entire half of his life. This is especially true when you consider much Tim was in control of their communication.

He can show up at her house anytime, but if he doesn't initiate contact Steph's on her own. In Robin #80 for instance, Steph is presumably just hopping around rooftops hoping to bump into Tim, because she has no other way to find him.

Robin #87

And after Steph expresses excitement that they can finally be in the balanced relationship, a real relationship, she is rebuked with a violent "No!" that she seems to lean away from. And in the next panel, she asks, confused: "What?" in a small speech bubble which gets entirely ignored. In fact, neither Batman or Robin speaks to, or even addresses directly Stephanie for the rest of the encounter.

When Robin storms off without even a look to Stephanie, Stephs reaction is (big Shocker) to blame herself. Batman uses neutral language to place the blame on Tim, stating that Tim feels betrayed. In direct contrast, Steph actively disagrees, clarifying that Tim was betrayed, and more than that, she directly places the blame on both her and Batman's shoulders.

Robin #87

But Stephanie is a prop in the plot. Tim doesn't yell at her, he runs from her. Because she isn't Stephanie Brown, his girlfriend who has been in a massively unbalanced relationship, who is overjoyed at finally getting to be in a "real" relationship with him, she's the person Batman told Tim's identity to. He's not angry at her, he's angry she knows his identity and Bruce didn't bother to ask if Tim could tell her. He's angry at Batman. This conversation, this whole drama, is about the partnership between Bruce and TIm.

Stephanie Brown, who believed Tim was just waiting for the Batman go ahead, had no reason to think Tim would be anything but as happy as she was. Importantly, Stephanie Brown is seriously just not to blame in this situation, even if she blames herself (which as I've discussed before, is a running theme with her characterization, her low self-esteem and occasional tendancy to blame herself for the actions of others).

Not to mention, Tim doesn't blame Steph either. So if you're reading Robin #87 and somehow coming to the conclusion that Steph is a monster, please reassess.

Robin #92

How does Alfred factor into this? I'll make it quick.

Robin #88

Oh no Alfred, I'm so sorry that your loyalties to Master Timothy run so deep that you HAVE to yell at the teenaged girl who was more of a prop than anything in that encounter and had no reason to think Tim would be hurt. Oh no, really that must be so hard for you. Well, at least we know he's consistent, I'm sure if he's this mad at Stephanie, he's fucking fuming at Bruce Wayne, right? Right? Right?

No, of course not. Alfred Pennyworth, hypocrite extraordinaire is out there actively defending Bruce to Tim. Which no one asked him to do.

It's all "in his defense" and "you knew the perils" and "master bruce's crusade ill afford the delicacy of privacy required in affairs of the heart" and "stop feeling sorry for yourself"

I cannot believe he has the gall to yell at Steph for this. Talk about wounding Master Tim deeply bro, just wait until its Tim's 16th Birthday Party and Alfreds applying his stupid latex mask with a smile on his face. Sorry Alfred, you’re not always wrong, but when you’re wrong you’re really wrong.

That’s all. Goodnight 🌙

[violet-foxe]

"Us..." Jason breathes. "Us, everyone together, just getting along... That's his Dream?"

"Yes." Danny looks solemn

"And you want me to wake him up by giving him a nightmare."

"That is why I brought you here. I didn't exactly... know the best way to make this a nightmare without traumatizing him." Phantom looks back out to the room with everyone in it.

"Just make them fight." Jason supplies. "It won't be his Dream anymore if we ain't getting along."

"I had thought of that" Danny admitted, restraining himself from rubbing the back of his neck. "But to wake from a nightmare, there needs to be a shock. I made Dream version of you fight Dick at the piano, Bruce and the others just attempted to resolve the conflict, and accepted it as long as no one was being killed, and it didn't have nearly the impact I required."

"Well then I dunno! B doesn't seem to get shocked by anything!" Jason growled. And it was true, the big man hardly ever showed any emotion, much less fear or shock.

"What about death."

"What?"

"What about death." Phantom repeated. "When I overshadowed you in this dream world to try to fight the others, it didn't work, but I noticed that you didn't have your scars." Phantom turned to face Red Hood.

"My scars?"

"You died. You think I don't know that comes with some kind of scarring?" His own litchenburg figures glowed a little brighter. And Jason seemed to get the idea.

"So what? Your plan is to show off my scars and hope for the best? Maybe blame him for my death?"

"I just brought it up. I told you that I don't want to traumatize him, just scare him. But if you think that is the best way..."

Jason thought about it for a second before deciding. "I have an idea. Can you get other me out of the room and over here?"

"Sure."

Phantom invisibly overshadowed Dream Jason, who announced that he needed a drink of water, then trotted over to where the real Jason is standing with a small cloth in his hand before phasing out of the dream person.

As soon as Dream Jason sees his double his eyes widen, and his mouth opens as he takes a step back, but it's too late. Jason grabs the dream character, spins him around, and with a hand and over his mouth to keep him quiet, the Dream version passes out.

"Chloroform?" Danny asks.

"Chloroform." Then Jason takes off the dream's clothes, changing them with his own. "Gotta blend in." He answers to Danny slightly confused look. "Take these" he shoves the Red Hood gear in the ghost's direction.

Jason takes a deep breath to calm his nerves before walking into the room.

Bruce sees him come in and smiles. He looks so happy. He's surrounded by his family, and they are all happy. This never happens anymore.

Jason is rarely in the manor, and only for some meals at Alfred's request. Dick is always doing his own thing in Bludhaven 'cause that place needs major help. Tim's mostly in his Nest, working for Wayne Enterprises, or in his room working on a case. Cass is usually in Hong Kong doing her own thing. Steph is independent and lives on her own anyway. Babs does her work from a distance because she's Oracle, and it's all online anyway. Only Duke and Damien are really around right now, and Duke is about to go off to college anyway. Damien isn't exactly the hangout type either. Man, Jason kinda feels bad about putting a stop to this. Bruce, for all his shortcomings, did pretty well to care for them. Maybe Jason should come more often, or try to get the family together more frequently.

Danny senses that this will be a sensitive conversation, so he drifts a little farther down the hallway to give them some privacy.

Jason speaks first. "Hey, Bruce."

Bruce's face just lit up like Jason was the best thing in the world. "Jay." Jason's heart kind of dies again.

"Bruce." Jason kneels down in front of his old man. "Hey. You know that it's not your fault right?"

"Jay?-"

"I don't blame you for my death."

"Jay, I-"

"The Joker killed me, you did your best."

"Jason, you-"

"You gave me the best home that I could ever hope for."

"Ja-" Bruce started tearing up.

"You know that right? That you always did the best that you could."

"Jaylad-"

"It's not your fault. I don't blame you." He did before, but he was also brainwashed by Talia, and it was the truth, not anymore.

"Jas-" Jason cut him off with a hug.

"I love you, Dad."

Then Bruce woke up.

Jason and Danny flew out of Batman's Chest as he startled awake and sat up. Danny caught Jason before he hit the ground, and Jason was back into his regular outfit, including the helmet that hid his face.

B was panting. The batclan started freaking out, worrying over their father and his seemingly upset state, but Batman only had his eyes on Jason.

Seemingly understanding the unspoken question. The Red Hood nodded. "I meant what I said." He spoke in a haughty voice. Well, as haughty as he could be with a throat that felt clogged with emotion.

Batman just nodded, but a small smile could be seen in his lips.

Jason walked out of the room before he was too overwhelmed. "See you later, Old Man."

"What?! Where are you going!" Nightwing called after him.

"Nunya!"

"Leave him be." Batman rumbly voice spoke up.

"-Fine! But are you okay??? You woke up really suddenly, and you were breathing heavily! Are you sure that you are fine? What if-"

"Nightwing. I've never been better." The eldest child just slumps in relief.

Then Nightwing turns around to stare down Phantom. "So what was that about you healing Red Hood?"

"That is for him to tell you."

"But he doesn't tell me anything!" Nightwing threw his arms up in the air.

"Then I guess you will never know." Danny said with a smirk and an eyebrow raise.

"Who are you?" The Batman growl was on full throttle. Danny wonder how it doesn't hurt his throat.

"Phantom. High King of the Infinite Realms."

"Hnn..." Nightwing recognized that as the 'Asking for more information" grunt

Nightwing butted in, "Hood said he had a contact and summoned him. He was the one who helped wake you up. He went in alone initially, but a few minutes later he came back out and took Red Hood with him back in."

"Hm." That was the 'Approval' grunt. A rare one to hear and Dick brightened.

"Now that that is cleared up, I must go and take care of Nocturne." Phantom was about to leave when he heard a shout.

"Wait!" Red Robin called out. "What if we need your help for something later?"

"I gave my Summoning Circle to Red Hood." Phantom deadpanned.

"Yeah, but he doesn't share!" Spoiler blurted.

Phantom sighed before reaching into one of his pockets (thank you malleable form for letting him do a costume change) and pulled out another calling card, handing it to the nearest bat, which happened to be Nightwing.

"This is only meant to be used for emergency purposes." The ghost said sternly. "I do not want to be pulled around constantly for fun and games. Do I make myself clear? I believe I made my rules clear with Red Hood as well as elaborated on them earlier. Those rules still stand, and will be taken seriously. But I will add on, the entire party involved, as well as I, must agree on the offering. Am I understood?" That should get them from offering themselves up all willy-nilly.

"Yes, you are understood." Batman replied.

Phantom turned himself invisible and intangible, before making his way to Gotham proper in search on the Wayward Spirit of Dreams. There was a lesson that he needed to learn.

Writing Prompt #13

"So?" Red Hood asks, arms crossed. "Was I right?"

"Yes," Phantom says, deepening his voice, "this is one of mine."

"One of your what?" Robin growls. Nightwing's hand on his shoulder is the only thing keeping him from invading Phantom's personal space, which, please, continue to do so Mr. Nightwing, Sir.

Phantom would take a deep calming breath if a) he wasn't trying to appear as otherworldly as possible which means no human breathing and b) if that wouldn't so obviously telegraph how uncomfortable he is in the Batcave surrounded by the entire Batfamily.

Next to him Red Hood shifts in slight discomfort. His ties to the spectral realm mean he's picking up on Danny's unease even if he can't fully translate the feeling. Which is good. Danny needs to maintain what little control he has over this situation.

"There's a gh-spirit in my...realm," Phantom says, letting himself drift gently to the other side of Batman's medical table which just coincidentally puts more distance between him and the the rest of the clan staring him down. Black Bat leans forward and he violently suppresses a flinch. "They're known as Nocturne. They wield power over dreams. Their signature is all over this."

And Danny means that literally. Their ecto-signature couldn't be more apparent if they'd written it in sharpie across Batman's suit. This is what Jason—Red Hood, because Danny couldn't have been dealing with a simple civilian case of ecto-contamination, nooo, he's got to have connections to the superheroes Danny has spent the better part of his afterlife avoiding—managed to pick up on, even being the low level entity that he is.

At which point he'd called Phantom in, even though Danny had spent the better part of two weeks trying to intimidate the guy into never contacting him, Ruler of the Spirit Realm (lightning crash!), again, but here is his calling card just in case (thunder and creaking noises!!), but again, you should never use it unless things are very serious, OoOoOoOo~~~

Damn it. It's been like 10 days.

"So how do we fix it, Your, uh, Ghostliness?" Nightwing says, ducking his head in a sort of half-assed supplication when Phantom turns to him. Nightwing glances at Jason for affirmation who shrugs out of the corner of Danny's eye.

"Phantom is fine," Danny says, waving his hand and letting his upper lip curl in an expression of distaste. "Remember, it's like you're Vlad when Dad offers him a glass of eight dollar wine!" Jazz's voice reminds him. Robin growls lowly, likely meaning he's nailing it. He looks away dismissively ("Honestly, it's like you're Vlad, anytime, ever." Sam notes dryly) and thanks god he doesn't have a heart in this form because it would be beating so loud right now.

Beside him, Jason scratches compulsively at the back of his neck. Huh, his anxiety is manifesting physically as an itch. Good to know.

"You can't fix it," Phantom says. "I can."

"At what cost?" Red Robin asks. "Red Hood mentioned you'd want something in return?"

Frick. His other contingency to keep Jason from ever contacting him again. Phantom had lightly hinted his taste du jour was, uh, souls.

Something Red Hood has apparently let slip, because now Robin shakes off Nightwing's hand, puffs out his chest and declares "I will trade myself for my father's safe awakening, Spirit!"

The other members burst into denials which almost covers up Danny floating sharply back and saying "What? No!!!"

Key word: almost.

Danny coughs as they stare at him.

"That is to say, I have no desire for a child," he puts a bit of snarl into it, showing fang. The mood in the room plummets drastically as Nightwing gently grabs Robin by the arm and pulls him back to his side.

"We see," he says. He steps forward more assertively, placing himself in front of the others, all of which are now eying him warily. "Then, is there a gender you prefer?"

It takes a second to click in Danny's head and then he swings his head wildly away from his audience to hide his reaction, nausea and embarrassment turning his face bright green. "Fika Kristo," he mutters in Esperanto as quietly as he possibly can, pinching the bridge of his nose.

He gives himself a moment to settle and game plan before turning back around. "I have no desire for any of you, and it matters not. In this instance, a deal need not be struck. Nocturne is my subject, and they have done this without my permission." Danny blinks, eyes widening. "Not—not! that I would give them permission to do such a thing. In the first place. Ahem."

"Okay...so you'll do this for free?" Jason asks. "Seems like a bad business practice since you also fixed me up for nothing—"

"What he means to say, Your Majesty, Phantom, is thank you!" Signal says in a rush as Nightwing starts, "Wait, Hood, what do you mean—"

"Enough!" Phantom says loudly (nearby bats take off and Jason's itch migrates to his forearms) "I have little time," read: he has a test tomorrow and he's only one-third of the way through the study guide "And I grow tired of this...dilly-dally." Frick! Is that an old-timey word?

"Of course. Thank you again, Phantom." Nightwing says stiffly, eyes still narrowed in Hood's direction.

"Wait, sorry, Phantom, Majesty, I'm Spoiler by the way," the purple-caped vigilante Danny already knew was Spoiler says. "How do we keep this from happening again? To any of us? Is there a way to defeat this Nocturne?"

"Moreover, why Batman?" Red Robin asks. "Why would a spirit from another dimension want him asleep?"

Phantom sighs. "Nocturne was trying to send a message. To me. Through you," he says, nodding at Red Hood. "They...how do I put this. They like attention. Being the spirit of uh, dreaming, they don't receive that attention. And you were in my realms for quite some time. And they wanted...attention."

The lackluster explanation sits for a moment before "They were jealous? Of me?" Red Hood asks skeptically.

"It's more complicated than that. Your...physiology," Danny puts it as delicately as possible, watching regretfully when Red Hood still stiffens at the mention, "Is particular. You gather attention in our realm. And having my attention is...special. But not!" He says to the group at large, a touch panicked, "Romantic!"

Jesus, he's never gonna hear the end of this from the others.

"Anyway, I will ensure it does not happen again."

"By paying them attention," Spoiler says under her breath, wiggling her eyebrows at Black Bat, Red Robin shooting them both a glare. Nightwing ignores them in favor of staring at Red Hood and Phantom. Danny is unsure what Red Hood has disclosed about how he knows Danny, but now he feels confident the answer is close to nothing.

Before Nightwing can ask whatever uncomfortable thing he's about to ask, Phantom disappears. Invisibly, he hovers over Batman's sleeping body and silently apologizes for the intrusion before intangibly slipping into Batman's REM realm and finding the man...oh...

Probably thirty minutes later he reappears to the group, who all perk up at the sight of him. Their eyes bounce from him to Batman; who does not move, to the monitor; which shows no change in his brain activity.

"I'm going to need your help," Danny says to Jason, getting to the point.

"Why? What can I do?"

"It's easier if you come with me," Danny says, grabbing his arm.

"Come with—"

Danny wastes no time in turning them both invisible and flying them into Batman's mind.

"What the—" Red Hood twists and turns, taking in the hallways of the manor. From afar, they can hear the tinkling of a piano. "You, I had your word—"

"This isn't where you think it is," Danny says hurriedly. "We're in your—Batman's dream." He walks quickly down the hallway, towards the music. Jason follows.

"What?"

"The way to break a dream spell is to wake the dreamer. You can't do that externally so you do it internally. Usually you wake the dreamer by turning the dream into the nightmare, scaring them awake."

The hallway stretches on longer than realistic, the dream attempting to divert them. But it can't outrun Danny. His power seeps into the halls, ice creeping along the paneling and freezing the way behind them.

"Batman, however, is hard to scare."

"So you want me to do it."

"What? No." Phantom shoots him a confused look. "Why would I—Ahem, The other way is to convince the dreamer they are dreaming. They break the dream themselves."

"Alright..." Jason says slowly, now keeping pace with him. His breath forms a cloud as he speaks. "And you think I'm the person to do it? I'm not the one he listens to you know, that's more Nightwing's schtick, or hell, anyone other than me."

"This isn't just Batman's dream, Jason," he says. Hood's eyes narrow at his real name, but now the truth is necessary. "This is The Dream. The perfect life. Everything he could ever want."

They're approaching an opening on the right side of the corridor. A bright light emanates from it, alongside the noise of stumbling piano keys and laughter, deep and male and unrecognizable. The Dream.

"Thomas Wayne," Jason breathes. "You want me to convince Bruce it's worth walking away from the center of his universe? It'd be easier if I put a bullet in their chests."

Danny stops abruptly before the doorway, turning to face Jason.

"You know, I fixed you," he says, head cocked. "Those feelings you felt, you shouldn't be feeling them anymore."

"I...I don't."

"Then why do you act like it?" He lets himself drift up, reaching beyond their planes of existence and extending a metaphysical hand to Jason's spirit. It shivers away. "You don't have to hide behind what was."

"I'm not hiding! And I don't have to explain myself to you!" He tries to move forward but Danny puts a hand out and he cannot move past it. He growls in frustration.

"I'm grateful to you, but with or without the Pits I'm fucked up. This is just who I am. This is just what he made me."

"You've never asked why I look like this. But did you know my form is malleable?" Phantom says, letting his legs shift into a tail, letting two eyes become three. "What I believe is what I am."

And then he takes several steps back, putting the doorway between them. "From here on out, the Pits can't tell you how to think or feel. Your decisions are wholly your own. Starting with this one."

Jason stares at the doorway, then Danny.

"I won't make you," Danny says simply. "And if you desire, I will retrieve Nightwing instead."

Jason scratches at his arms, grits his teeth, and stomps through. The light resolves into the sitting room, massive windows letting in sunlight so bright it streaks yellow-white across the room. Bruce sits on the maroon versailles couch next to Cassandra, who sits cross legged, excitedly watching Alfred pour her a cup of tea. To their right, in the open space, Damian barks instructions at Tim on handling a katana. Stephanie and Duke sit on the ground besides the coffee table, homework sheets sprawled across the surface, suffering their way through a calculus problem.

Bruce, smiling softly, looks across the room to where the atrocious playing is coming from. Red Hood follows his gaze.

Sitting at the piano, trying to play while Dick distracts him with a pair of chopsticks, is Jason. He puts a hand on Dick's face and shoves, both of them hitting the wrong keys.

"Get—away—dumbass!"

"No, see, it's a duet! Jay!"

"That's not why it's named—" and Jason Todd-Wayne tips his white-tipped head back and laughs.

[tahanann]

𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐋𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬: 𝐅𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮

❝ To whoever finds these letters, I hope they reach you well ❞ ✎▫✧⭒....

Fandom: Hetalia Relationship: F/M Pairing: Alfred F. Jones (America) / (Female) Reader Chapter list: 00, 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07, 08, 09, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 Also posted on: AO3, Wattpad, Quotev

Chapter 09: " It's all my fault. " ✎▫✧⭒…

The days continue to be gloomy as winter progressed. The weather matched (Y/n)'s recent array of emotions. As the days were grey and depressing, so were her moods. It seemed that the woman herself was slowly losing her own optimism.

The letters were mostly to blame for this occurrence.

They usually made her happy or broke her emotions. With the ones she had been reading the past month, nothing good was coming out of it. In turn, her emotions would mostly be pity or some form of frustration and sorrow.

The letters coming from the soldier were nothing but a ranting and rambling mess. They were shorter than they had been. They were only one page, and most of the time the topic was mostly about him speaking his mind.

He continued to confide in her and (Y/n) continued to listen to him. This in turn formed a bond where (Y/n)'s emotions were linked with his. His feelings happen to transfer over to her and she kept them in her chest. She had no one to turn to, fearing that she would be seen as an insane fool.

In a way, she already is.

The soldier had promised to keep his optimism, but he always broke it. It's not that (Y/n) could blame him for it. His mental state was deteriorating. His mind refused to move on and he still thought about his failed mission. It was clear that he had a hard time thinking about other things.

His paranoia about his friends made it worse too. He mentioned in one of his last letters that his friends complained about his absentmindedness. He thought it was an insult, when in fact, they were worried about him. The war was taking a toll on everyone's mind, yes, but Jones wasn't coping with it well. 

He still asks her if she still saw him as a hero. He's constantly looking for reassurance in his letters. Of course, (Y/n) would have said yes if she had the chance to send him a letter. Unfortunately, that wasn't possible at all. 

He asked for assurance in the letter this morning. (Y/n) knew his writing too well at this point. With tear stains on the paper, it was clear that he had suffered another mental breakdown. He had put himself down in this letter but still asked if he was still worthy of being called a hero. 

Thinking about the letter upset (Y/n) to the point where she found it hard to think about work. There she sat at her desk, staring at the computer before her. Her mind was drawing blanks and all she could think about was Jones. 

She wanted to hold the soldier and say how much she cares about him. His girlfriend could never be as supportive of her. If anything, she should have been the one for him. She was frustrated with herself, the world, and the soldier. If the universe had been kind, she would have been there for him. She could have told him how much she loved him.

(Y/n) hadn't realized how long she had been staring at her computer screen until her friend, Felicia, managed to sneak up on her. 

"Hey!" Felicia called out to her. The Italian woman's hands were placed on (Y/n)'s shoulders, snapping her out of her daze. 

"You know, you've been staring at that blank document for like thirty minutes. I'm surprised you haven't started blinking! You've got to hold the world record for that," Felicia joked around. 

"Felicia," (Y/n) spoke as she shook her head. She gently hung her head low and pinched the bridge of her nose, "How long have you been standing behind me?"

"Around 10 minutes or so. I wanted to see how long it would take you to snap out of it." The brunette snickered as she leaned to face her friend. "It's lunchtime you know. Maybe eating something can help you with work. If food doesn't help, then maybe taking a 30-minute nap would. There are some couches at the breakroom that you can sleep on."

"I'm not tired...I had enough sleep last night," (Y/n) replied. She stood up and grabbed her lunch underneath her desk. "I'm probably just hungry."

"Well, if that's the case, we should probably make out way to our table!" Felicia grabbed (Y/n)'s hand and dragged her to the breakroom. The Italian waved to other coworkers on the way there. (Y/n) kept her frown as she followed her friend, her mind still occupied by the letter. 

When they finally sat down, (Y/n) pulled out her lunch and started eating. She didn't utter a word to her friend, which was...different for Felicia. She knew that the young woman would have said something by now. The more Felicia thought about (Y/n)'s new habit, she realized this had been going on for a while. She always dismissed it as her friend being tired and all, but it's happened way too often now.

(Y/n)'s recent behavior worried the Italian.

"Are you okay?" Felicia said, tilting her head to the side.

"I am," (Y/n) replied, a smile crawling to her face, "Like I said, I'm just hungry."

"That's always your excuse. It's the same every day at this point!" the brunette frowned. She reached out to grab her friend's hand and gently squeezed it.

"If you're upset, I'm here for you, okay? I don't like it when one of my best friends is having a bad time. If there's anything bothering you, you can always give me a call and we can talk about it in person okay?"

The (h/c)-haired woman showed the small smile to her friend. "Of course. I'll keep that in mind Felicia. Thank you for the offer." 

It was hard to get anything out of (Y/n), especially when she was upset. Usually, (Y/n) didn't like talking to other people about her problems. She found it bothersome and she didn't want to bother her friends about them. She would handle things herself, especially with small worries.

It's obvious that this matter with the soldier was bigger than the other problems she had tackled before. 

(Y/n) believed she could do take it down just by herself. She assured herself that she just doesn't have a solution to it yet. 

Felicia continued to stare at her friend. She was stumped and hopeless. As much as she wanted to help (Y/n), she knew that she should give her space. She didn't want to make her uncomfortable so she didn't want to press further. The brunette didn't like the silence though, so she talked about something. 

The conversations were random, as they just sprang from Felicia's mind. 

After a few bites of her food, (Y/n) managed to start a conversation too. Food did help her mood, but the energy would only be short-lived. Thankfully it was enough to last for the entire lunch break.

(Y/n) and Felicia made their way to their workstations, and the young woman was back to staring at her blank document. Her mind drifted back to the soldier she wished to embrace. Her hands would work on their own though, as some part of her brain actually managed to take over. Her eyes might have been endlessly staring at the computer, but she did start working. 

Unfortunately, her burst of motivation happened around the end of her workday. 

(Y/n) made her way back home. She tossed her bag on the sofa as soon as she entered her living room. Her tv was turned on so that there was noise in the quiet home. She had to make dinner today, as she finished her leftovers last night. She hummed softly to herself as she worked by herself.

She tried making an effort to try and stop thinking about Jones. The woman feared that it might cause her attachment to get worse. As much as she loved the man, a more sensible part of her mind fought to detach herself from him. Although that will was weak, it still wanted to severe that before she becomes entirely dependent on him.

Just like how he depended on her. 

No...he's not dependent on her...right?

Yes he was.

Her delusions were forming in her head, and just like the soldier, her mind grew absent.

But she was strong, right? She could handle this problem and be there for Jones too. She didn't have to depend on anyone. No no...no one needs to help her. She can help herself. Her pride told her that she would be fine.

Her mind wandered again. (Y/n) smiled as she started thinking about the mysterious soldier. The images of him were of his smile. She thought about his appearance and constructed it to her standards. 

Sparkling eyes, a shining smile, gleaming glasses, and a green uniform. This version of Jones was akin to the older letters, the one she had opened months ago. She didn't want to think about a broken man. She wanted him whole and complete. 

Once dinner was ready, she started eating in the living room. She watched the videos on her screen with interest. Sometimes it made her smile. By the end of dinner, she felt better. Just a bit, anyway.

After washing dishes and getting herself ready for bed, the young woman sat at the edge of her bed. She stared at the drawer that held the letters. Her lips pursed into a frown as she thought about the letter from this morning. She reached out to open the drawer and hesitated. 

"Don't do it," her mind warned her. 

But she did it anyway.

Grabbing the letter atop the stack, she took out the stained, aged paper and started skimming through it again.

"Hey," (Y/n) spoke, a small smile on her face, "I just...wanted to hear from you again. Even if this letter isn't exactly uplifting." She softly sighed and hung her head low. "Jones...I'm here."  

Sweetheart,  Do you have any way to cope with losing someone close to you? I'm sure you might have had something like that happen to you right? If so, do you have any advice? I'm losing my mind over here and I just can't seem to think straight. I'm such a goddamn fool. What kind of soldier am I? I'm a goddamn horrible one at that.  I've asked you how you cope with someone because I don't know how anymore. I used to do it before but now with everything that's happening, everything just seems out of my control. I used to have control but now everything just seems to be falling apart in front of me.  If you want to know what happened. I can tell you. James died today. Earlier this morning and it's all my fault. Before you start trying to defend me, let me explain. I was at work today, scouting with James, and I take my eyes off of him for a minute so I could adjust my glasses. The next thing I knew, James was lying dead beside me with a bullet hole through his forehead. His body was limp and it was leaned against me. There was blood dripping down on my vest. It even went on some of my bandages.  Those bastards got a shot at him! I thought these guys were nicer than the ones we fought days before! I was so upset that I just sat there and froze. I couldn't stop looking at the body. I swear I tried looking away but I couldn't. It was so hard to. I don't know how to cope with the idea that my friend was just killed beside me. James and I were best friends back in college and to see him dead beside him just. I couldn't. I don't know....how I can comprehend this sort of thing. I can't think anymore. All I see are the faces of everyone I've killed.  How do you go on from that? I should have saved him. I should have taken that bullet for him. If I hadn't brought my head down and asked him to continue looking out for me, I could have been there to save him.  I've talked to Charles and Alex about it. Charles wouldn't give me anything. He refuses to talk to me. Alex has a hard time trying to face me right now. James' death would be added to the list of things they hate about me. I'm incompetent and I can't do anything right anymore. I've done so many wrong things in the past. I feel like I'm getting buried by it every day. My darling angel, do you have any words of advice for me. Please. All I ask is some sort of sign from you. If you're upset that I broke my promise to you about keeping away the bad details about all of this, then I'm sorry. Please forgive me for constantly breaking it. It's out of impulse at this point. All the words in my head are telling me to write it all down for you. I can't turn to Ma and Pa. I don't want them to get upset. I know I don't want you to get upset, but I know you're a forgiving soul. So please, god, just say that you forgive me. The first part of the letter ended there. There was another page, one that seemed more organized than the last few. It was almost like Jones took the time to compose himself. There was a part of her that was imagining the soldier writing the letters down with a forced smile on his face. I apologize for cutting the letter short in the first few pages. Thank you for listening to me, sweetheart. I can no longer keep my promise, but I will do my very best to be in high spirits. I adore you and I care about you. I continue to hope that you have the same amount of adoration for me too. Sincerely, your beloved, A. F. J.

(Y/n) smiled as she thought about what he asked. He was asking her advice on how to cope? Her way of coping through problems wasn't any better than any soldier out there during the war. She just pushes through and thinks about it later. When the emotions bottle up, that's when she looks for help. It's funny...she tried thinking about another way for him to cope earlier.

But she still came up with nothing. 

"I still don't have good advice for you, Jones" (Y/n) whispered, "All I have for you is adoration. It's all I can give to you." 

Her good feelings mixed with awful ones, creating a terrible concoction. Pity and adoration together were never a good mix. It tends to leave people confused and unsure about everything. (Y/n) thought she was unlike those people.

She was like them. She just refused to think she was unsure about her feelings for Jones. Her heart was dead set on loving him and that's all that mattered to her.

As a form of good luck, she pressed a kiss against the paper and bid him goodnight. 

At the first call of the morning crows, (Y/n)'s eyes flutter open. Her arms were wrapped around a pillow and her body was covered by her warm blanket. The blackbirds continue to chat amongst themselves, causing the noise. It was enough to fully wake her up. 

Gently she rubbed her eyes and yawned. Her hand took hold of her phone and she stared at the time. It was the weekend and Felicia had sent her a text last night. She was surprised that she didn't see this before. Perhaps she was too busy to look through her phone.

Felicia was checking up on her and made sure that she was okay. (Y/n) figured that she should respond to her, replying that she was okay and will be for the future. 

It was a lie. She couldn't guarantee that she'll be all smiles in the coming days. 

(Y/n) stayed in bed for a while. She scrolled through her social media. She found a lot of couples appear on her feed. The envy she felt for these people was enough to make her stomach turn. A frown found its way to her face as she went to a video streaming app. She didn't want to see those happy couples, especially since it wasn't her and Jones.

The young woman sighed as she picked a video to watch. There she laid in bed for the majority of the morning. As usual, she only got up when she felt her stomach ache, asking for food. She crawled out of her blanket's warm embrace and put on her slippers. She walked to the bathroom to get ready for the outing today. 

She placed enough skincare and makeup to make herself look presentable. She tugged the corners to make herself smile. 

"You wouldn't want dad to think something is wrong," (Y/n) told herself. She exited the restroom and changed her clothes before sitting on her bed. She grabbed the wooden box and picked the topmost letter. 

Her (e/c) eyes stare at the letter in her hand. Her stomach churned for another reason. The pity resurfaced again and she was unsure about opening the letter for today. The young woman put much thought into it.

She had already told herself that she would be there for the soldier. She would be his angel and his baby. She was already his star too. She could take on another role for him. 

The desire to be his angel was fueled by the fact that she couldn't be there physically. She couldn't send him letters so the least she could do was make it seem like she was there to support his spirit.

It sounded stupid, but it was what she could do.

She had to be there for him, even if hearing his rambles hurt her as much as it hurt him.

Gently she ripped the sides of the envelope and picked out the letter from inside. 

"Good morning, Jones," (Y/n) whispered, "What do you have for me today?"

Good morning sweetheart, Do you ever think about all the things you've done in the past? The choices you've made have gotten you up to this point. Have you ever thought about changing some of those so that the end would be different? I don't mean to pose an existential question but it's been plaguing my mind recently. It feels like the question is forcing my mind to rot from the inside out. I hate the feeling, but it's stuck there and I just can't. get. it. out. I want it out of there. I keep scratching my head as if it would help but I know that it doesn't.  I've been thinking about it too much. I keep thinking about what choice has led me to be in this predicament. Maybe it's because of how eager I was to join the war. I know it had to be something like that.  Maybe it might have been the way I've chosen my friends. Charles, Alex, and James wouldn't be here I had chosen other people to be my friends. Maybe if I hadn't befriended James, he didn't have to die that day. My friends didn't have to suffer through the war. They could have been some rich businessmen back at home. They could have stayed there and I could be here with other people. What if the choice of going to the bookstore and meeting you that day had an impact on my future? I wonder what it would be like? You wouldn't have to worry about a soldier who clearly is suffering from brain damage. You would have been a liberated woman, with no cares. You would have been single too, and maybe have met a better man. I know thinking about it right now is useless. I hate thinking about it too, but there's nothing else I could do. Charles and Alex wouldn't talk to me at all. They're still plotting against me. I can feel it. There's nothing to think of. It's so hard to get other thoughts in my head. I feel like every single topic I've loved before is just wiped from my memory. It feels like static in my mind. I keep spacing out, especially during my nighttime assignments. People have to shake me to get me to talk to them. I can barely hear people now. The fuzziness in my mind is getting to me, you know? Maybe...it's got to be this way since all of my choices led up to here. To now. I can't say I blame everything on the universe. Hey...I mean at least...it led me to you. Maybe that's a good thing. That's the only good thing. You're the only good thing. I don't want to lose you. I want to keep making choices that'll make sure I get back to you. I'll try to.Be safe back at home. I send my regards, always. I will write to you whenever I can. Sincerely, your boyfriend, A. F. J.

Jones asking existential questions wasn't out of the ordinary for (Y/n). If she were to look through every single letter for this month and picked out the ones with the questions, she would have half the stack. 

It was all the same for (Y/n). Nothing new was happening.

The woman wore a pained smile as she read the letter. She hesitantly brought the paper against her lips and let them linger. Her mind started thinking about a lot of things. Choices, mostly. His question was making her head churn. 

What if she had changed her choices. What if she had opened all of his letters at once. Would it make her life easier? Would she lose her attachment to him?

Her heart didn't have to ache for him if she had done things differently. She would have never have fallen in love with him.

The paper was placed down to her lap. Her (e/c) eyes stare at it and sighed.

Why did things have to be this way? Why did she lead her life down this road?

Her lips quivered as she felt emotions crash against each other. It brewed and formed a horrible emotion. Uncertainty and lack of understanding for herself. The woman's hands covered her face as she curled up. The bottle was filled to the brim. Some of its contents were spilling out. She couldn't control it.

Why did a dumb question break her control?

"I'm sorry," (Y/n) whispered, "I wish things turned out differently." She didn't know who she was saying it to. All she knew was that she just had to say it. To whoever listened to it, be it human or spirit.

Maybe she needed to cancel today's plans. She can't handle going outside and forcing a smile. No...she couldn't. Her father would worry. They were supposed to hang out today. She needed to make him happy. She had to push all of her feelings aside and force the bottle to close. 

(Y/n) let a few tears slip past her eyes before she ultimately had to stop. She went to the bathroom to wash her face again. She took in a deep breath as she looked at the sink. Her hands gripped the edge of the counter. 

"Get it together," she told herself. 

It was hard to.

Her body shook with frustration as she sighed again. She sucked it up. All of it. She practiced her smile in front of the mirror before she heard a familiar ring. It came from her phone. It must have been her dad. Taking in another deep breath, she placed one more smile on her face. She had to get through the day without crying. 

She didn't want her dad to worry. She didn't want anyone to worry.

It's ok. She could pretend she was ok. No one has to know. Not even her father.

No one.

She was okay...she will be. 

She hoped.

[justcourttee]

Daminette soulmate au where Damian really doesn’t want a soulmate cuz of the league and Mari doesn’t know why but doesn’t wanna be a burden and just pushes away everything and the class is being horrible and she gets depressed and when Damien realizes he’s just like fuck. I’m in the mood for angst

This one comes with a bit of a trigger wanner, super angsty, at least I tried. There is so mention of suicide, but no description. I don’t want anyone to read unless they feel comfortable knowing that. 

I hope this is something like what you had in mind. 

A Moment Too Late

The first time Damian had heard the voice of his soulmate, he was only six years old. Her indecent squeals distracted him from the oncoming blow earning him a black and blue cheek and a week of cleaning duties for failing to end his opponent. 

He hadn’t let anyone know what had happened, after all, the league had forbidden contact with the outside world, soulmate bonds included. Damian recalled seeing hundreds of men and women die for contacting their soulmates or allowing them to become distractions that led them astray from the League’s mission. Just because he was the grandson of the Demon Head, it didn’t mean anything in regards to the rules. 

So he did his best to block out her thoughts or outbursts, only focusing on his current tasks, silently begging her to block him out as well. It worked for a little while, but as they aged, she seemed to become more observant of his silence. 

He was eleven years old when his mother first discovered that he had been on the receiving end of his soulmate bond. Marinette, as he soon learned, was trying to coax him into a conversation when Damian snapped, begging her to shut up. The very next day, he found himself drugged and on a boat floating in the dock of Gotham City. 

Never once did he blame his mother for his predicament. No, she was just trying to protect him. After all, if his grandfather had found out, Damian would have been beheaded in front of the others. The only one to blame was Marinette. 

The next time she would contact him would be her last. She tried to reach out, ask him if he was okay, but the sentiment only fueled his rage.

“Don’t you get it? I never wanted this bond! I begged you mercilessly to leave it alone. I begged you to shut up, but you just couldn’t could you? I lost everything because of you, you hear me Marinette? If you just would’ve shut your damn mouth, I would still be able to see my mother. I hope you never use this bond again, I never want to hear from you again.”

There was no response, but it didn’t bother him. This was what he wanted for so many years, for her to never utter a sound to him again. It was a blessed day, one filled with silence as he entered Wayne Manor for the very first time. 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

“Grayson, can you stop mumbling to yourself? You look like an idiot.”

Dick reached back, swatting at where Damian once stood, the goofy smile on his face not wavering. 

“Oh little D, you just don’t understand. If my soulmate wants to talk, I’ll drop everything to take a moment for her.”

“A truly asinine thought, really.”

Damian rolled his eyes as he perched on the edge of the roof, gazing lazily over the darkened city streets. Personally, Damian wasn’t too fond of his brothers using their bonds while on patrol. It was as if they didn’t understand how much of a distraction it could be. No, it was much better to set boundaries, let them know where they stand. 

“Hey little D, have you contacted your soulmate yet?”

Dick squatted beside where Damian was perched, his smile pulling tight as if he already knew the answer to his question. 

“I told you, Grayson, I burned that bridge a long time ago. She hasn’t used the bond since we were eleven and I do not intend to be the first one to break that streak.”

“It sounds like you are too prideful to admit to her that you were wrong.”

“I was not wrong!” Damian could feel the red rising to his cheeks as he turned to avoid Dick’s piercing gaze. “She was the reason I had to leave the league, there is no denying that.”

His voice dropped slightly as he kept his eyes downcast knowing that no matter how many times he told himself that, it only got harder to believe as time passed. 

“Yeah, yeah, same line, less sincerity each time.”

Damian turned, ready to spat a venomous insult when a sudden wave of nauseous hit him like a truck. Doubling over, he could barely make out Dick’s words, the only thing monopolizing his mind was one piercing voice, one he hadn’t heard in years.

“I just want to die! Why won’t you let me die?”

Later, Dick would cry from the fear of the sight of Damian curled tightly on that rooftop, his eyes bloodshot and wide as if he’d seen a ghost. But, in that very moment, he knew that his main priority was to get him back to Alfred in hopes he could figure out any way to save Damian from the haunting phrase that slipped through his lips a hundred times over. 

“It’s all my fault.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 

It was close to three in the morning when the pain subsided allowing Damian to slip away from the pestering of his family. His movements were still stiff as if he was just a hollow man trying out his own legs for the first time in years. Her words seemed to be stuck on repeat, even though he was sure that she wouldn’t still be muttering them hours later. 

He couldn’t figure out what had happened to leave her at this last attempt. He couldn’t figure out if he should care or not. 

His gut was still throbbing as if he had been stabbed and the wound wasn’t sure if it wanted to be healed. As he slid down onto his favorite bench in the gardens, he remained locked in a fight with himself as to whether he should reach out or not. Hesitantly, he checked his surroundings before drawing in a deep breath concentrating all of his thoughts on her. 

“Are you okay Marinette?”

It was silent. 

Damian let a minute pass and then another. With a sigh of defeat, he closed his eyes pulling his legs into his chest. Of course she wouldn’t answer, it had been years of silence and carrying the guilt that he so carelessly placed on her.

 Shaking his head, he gingerly lifted it to allow his chin to rest on his knee. No, maybe he was a small part of her problem, but she couldn’t have banked her entire existence on a soulmate. Just what had happened to her over all these years. Certainly, he had been through worse, but even as the words crossed his mind he could hear Dick chiding him, reminding him that everyone carries burdens differently.

“I do not know if you can hear me, but I wanted to apologize for my outburst so many years ago. I blamed you for a lifestyle I was born into and that wasn’t right. Please, I’d like to start again, Even if it’s just as friends.”

The biting wind of the night nipped at his bare arms as if it were her answer itself. She obviously wanted nothing to do with him. Just as he stood to leave, a soft voice tickled the back of his head, so quiet that he almost missed the harsh words. 

“I don’t have friends or family, hell, I don’t even have a soulmate who wants me. Don’t bother trying now. I’m sorry if my emotions got the better of me earlier, but it was no guilt trip and I don’t need your pity. I just want to be gone and leave Paris a brighter city for it.”

Damian could feel the wheel’s turning at the mention of her home. A private plane could make it to Paris in just six hours. She might not want his pity and he wasn’t sure if he had any to give, but one thing was for certain; he could not let her die no matter what she wanted. 

“What will you be doing in six hours?”

His heart was racing a mile a minute as he waited desperately for her response. 

“I’ll be leaving school I suppose.”

Damian couldn’t stop the smile that pulled at his lips as he turned toward the manner, racing at full speed. 

Six hours. He could meet her in six hours. He could change her life in six hours. 

He couldn’t even focus on his clothes as they lay strewn across his bed, each missing his suitcase as he tore through his closet. Six hours felt like a lifetime knowing the stakes, but it was something he had to try. Even if he had to scour the entire city, Damian would find his soulmate. 

He just hoped that he wouldn’t arrive a moment too late.

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[hauntedbythefanficsofmypast]

BatMom- Dick Grayson

This is the beginning of a five part series, starting with Richard Grayson.

Masterlist

Part 1[Here]

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Dick Grayson, Her First Bird.

Marinette sighed as she stepped out of her car thanking her driver as he pulled her luggage out of the trunk. She turned looking up at the mansion taking in the appearance and remembering how he described it all those years ago. When Marinette first got to know Bruce Wayne, before he broke her heart. Although she couldn’t place her blame on him, after all Bruce wasn’t looking for love. No, he was looking for revenge and Marinette was looking for love in the wrong place. They were two different people and while Bruce did love her, he didn’t love her. Marinette knew that, and she accepted that while it took sometime, she moved on. But now she was back after what she would call a cry for help, but Bruce would call a request for assistance. Although he would never really admit that he asked for help. 

She walked up to the door and knocked politely thinking of the person who would most likely answer. Alfred Pennyworth, Bruce’s honorary father, and technical butler. If the man was anything like Bruce described him he’d answer the door.

“Hello?” Alfred greeted open the door taking in Marinette’s stylish yet obviously comfy clothing. “Ah, you must be Miss Marinette, Master Bruce has told me much about you. You’re here to help him with Young Master Richard.” Marinette laughed softly pushing her sunglasses up allowing her to see her twinkling blue bell eyes. 

“Now Mister Pennyworth, you and I both know Bruce doesn’t ask for help. He implies that he needs it, but refuses to say the word. Then if you say it he will deny ever needing it.” Alfred let his lips twitch as he grabbed Marinette’s bags. Gesturing for her to enter the manor.

“Miss Marinette, I think I am going to enjoy having you around.”

Marinette walked calmly down the hall to Richard’s room, she paused taking a deep breath knocking gently on the door. “Richard may I come in?” She was silent, an understanding smile covering her face. She sat down by the door, side sitting as she slipped her shoes off. “Very well, I will not come in without your permission. However I simply cannot sit out here in silence, that’s much too boring and I abhor silence! Did you know turkeys were once worshipped as Gods? The Mayan people saw them as vessels of the Gods, so much so that they domesticated turkeys to have roles in religious rites. Sounds absolutely silly right? Though I can’t fault them as it is their beliefs, and they had not actually met Gods unlike me.” Marinette smiled as she heard another body sit down on the other side of the door. “In fact I believe they’d be surprised at how unbelievably silly they are! As well as tiny, but don’t let that trick you, even without their chosen human they pack a nasty punch. They are also very protective of those they call their own. Of course not many know that, very few have been blessed to be chosens, and unfortunately quite a few have abused the power. I fear that I may one day abuse it myself. Though my little Goddess always tells me it’s not possible.” The door creaked open slightly and one breathtakingly blue eye peered out at her.

“You’re a chosen?” He asked softly, causing Marinette to smile brightly, as she patted the spot right next to her.

“I am actually the Guardian of them, Tikki is my patron and I her champion. She is the Goddess of Creation and Good Luck, her opposite is Plagg God of Destruction and Bad Luck. Would you like to meet her?” Dick Grayson was quick to open his door and sit next to Marinette his eyes sparkling for the first time in a long time.”Tikki, come out and say hello.”

“Hello there.” Tikki said softly, flying around the young boy’s head giggling. “I’m Tikki and this is my chosen Marinette!”

“Hi I’m Richard Grayson, but I prefer Dick.”

“Nice to meet you Dick.”

“Golly Tikki! It’s nice to meet you too, and you Miss Marinette!”

———————————<3————————————

Dick Grayson, After the Fight.

Lady Noir slipped into the tower, careful not to let her power flare and alert the half demon her dear Robin had befriended. She made her way to the kitchen and began unpacking the groceries she had bought, leaving the Chinese take out on the counter. She didn’t even pause when the doors slid open revealing Robin. Who stared at her unimpressed, arms crossed and a slight glare in place. “I suggest you drop that glare Birdie, or else I shall not give you the Chinese I brought. Or the chocolate milk, I know it is still your favorite.” She turned to him with a smirk flipping her braid over her shoulder as she took in her baby bird.

“Did he make you come here?” He said with no emotion in his voice, but Lady Noir could hear the silent plead. The begging for her to say that Batman hadn’t sent her to reprimand his wayward bird. Lady Noir snorted as she unboxed the take out pulling out her favorite and breaking apart her chopsticks. 

“Nonsense, B can’t make me do everything for him. This is something he needs to fix himself.” She said before sitting down on the stool posture as elegant as ever. She calmly ate her Chow mein, waiting for her first bird to come to her. Robin glanced out the window before slowly making his way over sitting across from her at the breakfast bar. “Can’t a cat want to see her favorite bird?” She questioned looking at her noodles with an amused smile as Robin snorted.

“Considering you’re using Plagg instead of Tikki I am a little more worried.” Robin said surveying the hero in front of him, watching as her smile wavered. He hated when her smile waved; she had one of the most beautiful smiles he ever saw. He had always wanted to smile as brightly as she did, and never believed her when she said he already out did her. However since the split between him and Batman. Robin had rarely smiled. “Why is Lady Noir here and not Ladybug?” He questioned looking into her eyes, blue hidden by a green protection. Lady Noir placed her chopsticks down before reaching a shaking hand out to his cheek stopping short.

“Plagg, claws in.” She called softly letting the transformation drop before softly caressing his cheek, moving her other hand up to hold his face gently. Tilting it side to side to assure there were no injuries. “You know Tikki, if she came she’d refuse to leave without you.” Marinette said as her thumb gently brushed the bottom of Robin’s mask. “May I?” She asked softly, but Robin could see the desperation in her blue bell eyes. He grabbed her wrist gently squeezing it, not liking when her eyes closed in resignation. He panicked when she began pulling her hands away, and gently pulled them back to his face. Nodding as he enjoyed the familiar warmth. Marinette gave him a gentle smile as she removed the mask, revealing her Dickie Grayson almost all groan up. “There’s those beautiful blue eyes.” She said softly as a few tears fell from her own. “I’m sorry to intrude Dickie, but after-after what happened last month-I just-I wanted to-I had to see you. I had to see you in person myself. I need to make sure you are okay. Oh baby bird, when I saw you on the news frozen and unable to defend yourself. At the mercy of the Brotherhood of Evil, I-I was terrified.” Dick squeezed her hand gently before standing up and moving to the other side of the breakfast bar. He dragged her into his arms hugging her tightly wrapping his cape around them as best he could.

“I wasn’t scared.” He admitted softly as she cried on his shoulder. “They didn’t scare me, because I knew that no matter what. I knew that you’d come for me, I don’t know about Bruce anymore, but I knew you’d always come for me.”

———————————<3————————————

Dick Grayson, Ladybug v.s. Tarantula.

Ladybug landed gracefully on the build and launched herself at Tarantula tackling the girl off Nightwing. She gripped the girl by her throat slamming her head against the concrete with an almost inhuman growl. Straddling the girls hips asuring no chance of escape before viciously rain punches down on her.

“How. Dare. You.” She growled stopping after the fifth punch, snapping out and grabbing the arm Tarantula tried to hit her with. She glared before breaking the girl's wrist in her grip. “How dare you lay your hands on my bird. How dare you attempt to rape him!” She growled out standing up and dragged the girl up by her ponytail. “Kaalki, open a portal.” She dragged the girl to the portal ignoring her attempts to get away.

“I don’t kill, in that department you are unlucky. You see, I’m going to send you somewhere no one knows about. You will never see another human being for the rest of your life. Have fun little girl, for you shall never hurt another again.” Ladybug growled out the fire in her eyes scaring Catalina.

“No please! No I’m sorry, forgive me!” She cried out but was ignored as Ladybug threw her through the portal.

“Close it Kaalki.” She said both her and the God ignoring the girls cries. “I don’t not forgive rapists.” She turned back to her blue bird hurrying over and pulling the sobbing young man into her arms. Cradling and rocking him slowly, he wrapped his arms around her waist crying into her shoulder. “I got you baby bird, let it out. I’m here now, I’m here you’re safe. I’ve got you I’m right here.” She whispered softly, running her fingers through his hair. “I’ve got you.” She kissed his temple softly. 

———————————<3————————————

Dick Grayson, Batman’s Cowl.

She leaned against the clock tower watching Batman on his first patrol with his Robin. A frown on her face as she watched them feeling older than ever when she never heard the familiar cackle. No, there would be no cackles in Gotham for a long while. She watched as the Batmoblie rolled into an alleyway, and the duo jumped down. She looked up at the sky begging herself not to cry, at the cruelty of life. Her blue bird was never meant for the cowl but there was nothing she could do. Her bird was anything if not stubborn, he had made his decision and she would not be mad like the League was. No, she would support him and her newest bird. No matter how violent he was towards her. She’d be there every step of the way to make sure the cowl didn’t darken her Birdie.

———————————<3————————————

Dick Grayson, Court of Owls.

Lady Noir glared down at the man below her as her combined powers from Tikki and Plagg rippled.

“The Gray Son belongs to the Court.” William Cobb said to her emotionlessly from where he stood above her bird. Nightwing-no his mask was gone, that was her Richard, her Dickie staring up at her with those terrified blue eyes.

“You’re wrong he belongs to no one but himself.” She said firmly, taking in her bird’s unfortunately great grandfather. “And if I have to beat that into you to prove it, so be it. No one, especially not blood lays a hand on my bird and gets away with it.” She flung her yo-yo out wrapping it around his wrist and yanking him forward and off balance. Before propeling herself forward with her baton. Beginning a dangerous dance of which she refused to lose.

“Hey baby bird.” She said softly, hiding her pain as her transformation dropped. She sank to her knees pulling his head into her lap gently playing with his hair. “I’ve got you.” Dick sobbed softly into her lap letting his emotions run freely. Coming to terms with the fact that Haley’s Circus wasn’t his home, they were simply grooming him to be a killer. Taking comfort in his one constant since the loss of his parents. His heart breaking even more over the fact that they had planned to hand him over to them. He knew Marinette would never, she’d never do that to him.

———————————<3————————————

Dick Grayson, Death of her Eldest.

Marinette sat despondent as she started at the casket in front of her. Tears falling down her face hidden by a black veil. Her eldest was gone, she’d lost another child. She couldn’t protect another one of her boys, how many would she fail. Tikki and Plagg sat on her shoulders hidden by her black graying hair and her veil. A sob broke from her as she brought one hand up to her face. Attention landing on the mourning mother who finally broke since the news. Since her first baby bird died and she wasn’t there, just like she wasn’t there for her Jay-bird. Life was cruel, so cruel to take two of her birds from her. People turned away from the mother allowing her to let her grief out, they all knew it was a terrible fate. To outlive your children, she had no idea of the three boys wishing to comfort her. Yet fearing they’d make it worse.

———————————<3————————————

Dick Grayson Becomes Ric Grayson.

Yes she had been deeply upset to find out her eldest had faked his death. Then she had been pissed at Bruce for telling her Baby bird the family would know. She resolved to spend as much time as she could with her birds. She never thought it would backfire like this, never thought she’d watch her son get shot in the head. Yet here she was by his bedside in Gotham Advance Medical Hospital. She had barely left his side since, she didn’t want to lose her son again. So every day she sat there holding his hand and reading books out loud to him. They day those beautiful blues opened though had not been happy, for what mother would be happy when the rule son asks who they are. It was weeks later that she finally visited again, breaking into ‘Ric’s’ apartment. “Shit, pulling stuff like this will get ya shot lady.” Rick grumbled looking at the unfamiliar woman with graying black hair.

“Please you wouldn’t shoot me, even now guns make you uncomfortable.” Marinette states calling him out and causing the man to tense. “I’m not here to fight, I just could leave without saying goodbye please allow me that.” She took his silence as a go ahead, still not turning around to look at him. “The day I realized I saw you as my son was amazing yet heartbreaking. I loved you so much, you were my boy yet I knew I would never be your mother. I watched you grow into such an amazing and beautiful young man, and now I’ve lost you again. Only this time you may never remember me.” She stood up and turned to Ric not hiding her tears as she cradled his face. “I will always love you.” She said softly kissing his forehead before stepping back and walking past him closing the door behind her as she left. Leaving Ric feeling as if someone important had just left.

 ———————————<3————————————

Dick Grayson, Remembrance.

“Not Ric.” He said softly, staring at the ground before slamming his foot down and breaking the crystal. “Dick” He said, turning to Barbara-Batgirl, turning to Batgirl and Beatrice smiling softly. “It’s Dick and I need to find my mom. I need to apologize to her as soon as possible.” Batman landed besides Batgirl the rest of the bat family following. “Let’s hurry up and take care of Joker. I need to see mom.”

Dick walked through the door to Marinette’s penthouse, holding take out from her favorite Chinese place. “Is that you Jay-bird? Did you guys take care of the Joker? I’m sorry I couldn’t help. I wish I never sprained my ankle.” He heard her sigh softly from the couch as she hadn’t turned around yet. “Jason? Baby bird don’t ignore me.” She called out slightly annoyed but he could hear the underlined affection. “Jason Todd-Wayne I swear.” She turned on the couch gasping when her eyes met his eyes. “Hi mom, I’m home.” He said softly rubbing the back of his head.

“Oh baby bird, oh my boy!” She cried out trying to stand as she started crying. She limped  around the couch, causing him to rush towards her wrapping his arms around her waist. 

“Hey mom, sorry for hurting you.”

“Oh my baby bird, I’m so happy.”

———————————<3————————————

Dick Grayson, his Wedding day.

She stood by the door watching him adjust his tie as he looked in the mirror just making it worse. “Honestly Dickie, are you ever going to get a tie right?” She teased walking over and slowly fixing it. She brushed it down gently, her eyes tearing up when she spotted the bluebells in his breast pocket. “Birdie.” She said softly reaching up with her right hand and cupping his cheek gently. “I am so proud of you.” She whispered as a tear slid down her face. “You’ve grown so much and now you’re marrying a beautiful woman that loves you so much.” Dick gently wiped the tear off her cheek. 

“Don’t cry. I hate when you cry, it makes me feel guilty.” He said causing Marinette to snort as she shook her head. Tikki flew out from her hiding place in Marinette’s clutch doing a circle around Dick. “Hello Tikki, I’ve missed you.” Tikki smiled softly at the man standing in front of her.

“And I you Young Grayson, if I may I wish to give you my wedding gift now.” She flew up kissing his forehead gently giggling as her power rippled around him. “Young Grayson, I grant you and your chosen mate Good Luck and Fortune in your future together.” Dick looked at her in surprise while Marinette shook her head looking at her Patron.

“You always have to outdo me.”

[fishfingersandjellybabies]

The Universe Doesn’t Get to Take This - fic

Characters: Bruce Wayne, Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson Summary: “And they’re so important that you don’t come home to check on your recently un-amnesiac brother? And here, I thought I was your favorite.” A/N: A tiny fix-it to the end of Detective Comics 1033. This is a bit dark of Dick I know, but honestly as much as I love him, he does just as many shady and fucked up things as everyone else so, I can absolutely see him doing this, ngl. And because I know folks are gonna complain about it, while I absolutely and obviously see Duke in the Batfam, I don’t see him as a Batsib because last I knew of him, his parents are still 100% alive so it would be fucking bonkers for Bruce to literally adopt him. And also hella disrespectful? But I digress. Don’t come at me. 

~~

Bruce didn’t know how to deal with what he’d just heard.

Damian blamed himself for Alfred’s death. Believed it to be his fault so badly that he refused to listen to anyone around him. Refused to listen to anyone who loved him. Who knew the truth. Who knew that wasn’t the truth.

Damian was brilliant. How could he believe something so wrong?

Bruce wanted to argue his point. He wanted to grab Damian, maybe shake him until he saw the light. Beg him. Plead with him. It wasn’t his fault. It never was his fault. And that he loved him. Bruce loved him so much it hurt. And he knew he was messing it all up. Knew he didn’t say it enough. Show it enough. Knew Damian’s surety in this absurd falsehood was partially his fault. Mostly his fault.

(All his fault.)

But…he didn’t. He couldn’t. Damian was growing up, and they’d had this dance so many times.

(Too many times.)

He felt the weight of the badge in his utility belt, and silently pulled it out. Squeezed it in his hand.

Damian felt too tainted for this badge anymore. This honor. Bruce knew that. That’s why he’d run. That’s why he’d dramatically ripped it off and threw it to the ground. While it was still in rage and heartbreak, it was also in fear.

Because he felt he didn’t deserve it. Didn’t deserve to be Robin. Didn’t deserve to be by anyone’s side.

But he and Damian, they always danced in subtly. Could never say what they needed to. Always tiptoed around it. Used metaphors and hypotheticals instead.

Bruce squeezed the badge. Held it out between them.

“This is yours, son.”

You are good enough. You are good, period. You deserve this title, this honor, and so much more. Please come back and I will do everything I can to tell you. To show you. Please.

Damian glanced at it, but only for a moment, before dropping his gaze to his feet.

“No, father.” Damian sighed sadly, turning away, already reaching for the grapple on his hip. “It’s yours.”

He lifted his arm to the sky and aimed the gun. Bruce’s heart stuttered. What did he do here? Did he let Damian go? Did he grab him? Did he follow him?

“…Actually, you’re both wrong.” A groggy voice from behind them hummed. Bruce tensed, afraid Tommy had somehow already woken, already escaped. He balled his hands into fists and turned, just as Damian did.

Dick came hobbling out of the rooftop’s shadow.

“Robin’s mine.” Dick shot them a lopsided grin. “I just lend it out every so often.”

In his periphery, Bruce saw Damian’s arm drop. “…Grayson?”

“Yeah, yeah. Long time no see, right?” Dick snorted. “And you were just going to…what? Save the day, then fly away without even saying hello to me?”

Damian’s guilty eyes dropped again.

“How are you feeling?” Bruce interjected. “The drugs…”

“Damian gave us all the antidote, it’s filtering out fine.” Dick waved off. Cleared his throat and rubbed at it once. He never took his eyes off of Damian, though. Even seem annoyed that Bruce had interrupted him. “And just where do you think you’re going in such a hurry, kid?”

“I…I have things I’m working on.” Damian mumbled, stepping back, closer to the roof’s ledge. “Places I need to go.”

“And they’re so important that you don’t come home to check on your recently un-amnesiac brother?” Dick joked. “And here, I thought I was your favorite.”

“…I…I wasn’t aware, actually.” Damian admitted sheepishly. “I did not know you had recovered and were back in Gotham until Father told me on the way over here.”

“And you were still going to leave without seeing me? Rude.” Dick chuckled. “Good thing I’m good at recovering quickly, then, and was able to follow you out here.”

Damian didn’t respond to that. Kept his gaze away from the two men in front of him.

“Look, I know you’re not a hugger, but I…really freaking missed you, kid.” Dick smirked, but it was sad. He opened his arms wide, and Bruce took note of his slow sway. The drugs were still affecting him. “So can I please just have one?”

Dick stepped towards Damian, but Damian immediately jumped away.

“You…you shouldn’t want to do that.”

Dick frowned. “Why?”

“Because, as I just had to remind Father.” Damian countered. “I killed Alfred.”

Dick hesitated at that. Glanced to Bruce. It was Bruce’s turn to look down now.

“…I know you believe that, but I don’t.” Dick hummed quietly. “And even if it was true, I don’t care.”

Damian closed his eyes, balled his hands into fists.

“You know I don’t care about anything you’ve done. You know I’m going to love you, regardless. I told you that years ago.” He kept his arms out in front of him. “Now get your skinny little ass over here so I can hug my little brother.”

Damian’s fists silently trembled.

“I’m not asking.” Dick explained. “And if you try and run, I will chase you. I’m not leaving you alone until I get my welcome home hug.”

“I don’t deserve it.” Damian whispered.

“But I do.” Dick replied, letting his smile return. “After the shit year I just had, I deserve to see my little brother, at least once. Don’t you think?”

Damian pressed his lips tightly together, but suddenly, to Bruce’s surprise, acquiesced. Stomped forward until he was in Dick’s space and engulfed in Nightwing’s arms. Returned the hug and seemed to squeeze Dick as hard as he could.

“Careful.” Dick grunted with a laugh and sluggish waver. After he regained his balance, he slowly began lowering into a crouch. He released one arm from around Damian to grab at his lower back, like it was in pain. “I’ve still got some of Hush’s stupid drug in here, kiddo. So I’m not the steadiest still.”

“Sorry.” Damian breathed. Bruce wasn’t sure, couldn’t see his face, but Damian’s voice sounded watery. Tearful. “I’m so sorry, Grayson.”

He wasn’t just apologizing for Dick’s balance, they all knew that instantly.

“Don’t be.” Dick murmured into his hair. Suddenly, he glanced seriously up at Bruce. “Because I’m not.”

Before Damian or Bruce could question him, the hand Dick had at his tailbone swung back around, something glinting between his fingers. Bruce only recognized it as a needle as Dick plunged it into the back of Damian’s neck.

“What the…!” Damian tried to pull away, but Dick didn’t let him. Kept Damian’s face tight to his throat as he pushed the syringe’s contents into Damian’s system, then dropped the needle and held Damian in both arms as the boy struggled. “Grayson, what did you…!”

Bruce stepped forward, but when Dick looked up at him again, it was with a furious glare.

“…What the hell did you just do?” Bruce demanded, as Damian’s movements suddenly started to become sluggish, lazy, his fiery curses slurred. Dick just shifted a hand to hold the back of Damian’s head protectively.

“A sedative.” Dick said simply. He waited calmly, never letting up his grip, not even when Damian went limp against him. “I’m bringing him home.”

Dick’s back was never in pain, Bruce realized. He was reaching into his own belt for the drug, after he was sure Damian was close enough. Bruce reached his hand out, but once again wasn’t sure what to say. What to do. “…Dick…”

“I’m not losing him again.” Dick snapped, staring angrily up at him. “Do you know how many times I already have? I can’t. I’m not. I won’t.”

“He was leaving. He had made his own choice to leave.” Bruce countered. “We can’t…we can’t hold him against his will.”

“He’s also fucking thirteen, Bruce.” Dick hissed. “Are you out of your goddamn mind?”

“He…he wants space. He needs space.” Bruce tried.

“He needs help, B.” Dick countered desperately. “And he’s not going to get that being out there on his own.” Dick sighed, slumping a little. Let Damian’s unconscious face loll to the side so they could both see it. “I…I get what you’re trying to do. He wanted space and you’re trying to respect that. Respect him.” He swallowed a lump in his throat. “But, Bruce. He’s thirteen, he’s traumatized and he’s alone.”

Bruce stepped forward, let his cape waft around his sons in the wind.

“We can’t let him be alone anymore. We can’t let him run off and not go after him. What do you think he believes when that happens? Does he think we hate him? Does he think all the terrible things anyone has ever said about him are true?” Dick whispered, running his knuckles along Damian’s face. “…Call it kidnapping or holding him hostage or whatever you want. I don’t care.”

Dick pulled Damian back up, pressed his cheek to Damian’s forehead.

“I’m not losing him again.” Dick repeated, his voice shaky. “I am not losing him again.”

Bruce watched them for a moment, watched as Dick began to gently rock, like Damian was an infant in his arms. He sighed, and glanced up towards the smog-infested purple night skies of Gotham City.

“He’ll be furious when he wakes up.” Bruce mumbled.

“Great.” Dick sniffed bitterly. “As long as he’s alive and home and with his family, he can hate me as much as he wants.”

Bruce closed his eyes, let himself breathe for a moment. Then lowered his head and stared at Dick.

“…Do you need help carrying him?” He asked softly. “Tommy’s drugs…”

“I can carry him to the car.” Dick threw Bruce a small smile. “Anything further than that might be a little dodgy.”

“Okay.” Bruce grunted, pressing a button on the side of his cowl to call the Batmobile. “Can I help you up, at least?”

“That’d be great, actually.” Dick admitted. “I just need help getting my feet under me, then I should be good.”

Bruce leaned down, gripping Dick’s biceps as he stumbled to his feet and simultaneously switched his hold on Damian so he was lying across his forearms. The forgotten grapple Damian had been holding tumbled from his fingers.

“…B?” Dick asked as Bruce began to usher him back into the building and down the stairs to where the rest of the family was still recovering.

“Hm?”

“Can you call Tim? Get him to come home, too? I haven’t seen him much since I remembered…” Dick trailed off, and Bruce sensed the sadness in Dick’s whole being. “I mean, Cassie and Jay are here, but…” A bitter laugh. “Call me selfish but I want all my siblings here.” A moment. “I want my whole family home.” He closed his eyes and leaned into Bruce’s side. “We’ve all been through so much shit lately, and I…I just want us to be all together again. If we can be.”

Bruce glanced down at him, and felt himself smiling, just a little. Allowed himself that tiny bit.

“Of course.” He promised. Then, in a mockery of what Dick had said earlier. “You deserve that much.”

Dick opened his eyes and glanced down to Damian, leaned peacefully against his chest. Dick laughed a little, as they entered the room where the rest of the family was, when Duke called out to them and gave a lethargic wave.

“Yeah.” Dick whispered, staring down at Damian’s face. “I think I do.”

[whereflowersbloom]

Alfred’s farewell

The sky had begun gloomy since even before the sun had the chance to rise. Mist was overshadowing the city of Gotham, and drops of dew are still littering every surface. The birds were unusually quiet, nestling safely under the warmth of their nest. A large group of grey clouds lingering above the place, promising unpleasant weather to deal with later on. Lighting crackled in the grey sky and snatched away any hope of a golden day. Only songs of sadness spread around, feeling the sorrow taking place. Even the world is holding its breath and everything is still, the earth seemed to be mourning as well the unexpected loss. The atmosphere was exceptionally dark and lifeless, each face filled with silent and bitter grief and regret. Tears do not fall, there’s a blackhole forming in place of his heart. This date…this date would be burned into his soul for the rest of his existence, it would be a permanent reminder to himself of how foolish he was, how everything…could change in matter of seconds. Seconds only a few more seconds would have made the difference. The tree that was once full of life, the one Alfred looked after kindly, because he planted it himself after coming to work for Thomas and Martha Wayne, was now barren as the weather grew colder and the icy wind blew the leaves away.

There’s people gathering, familiar faces and unknown ones. The solemn mode had settled between them, and soon the ceremony comes to an end. It’s time to say farewell.

Will I always, from now on, be this cold? Was Pennyworth really gone? He didn’t dare to pronounce his name. He discerned the sounds of footsteps slowly fading away and all that was heard afterwards was the thud of knees hitting the ground. Grayson. Even Dick was so lost and crushed, the man who always looked so high-spirited and brave, so even-tempered and filled with honor, seemed so weak now.

“Alfred, I am so sorry…” Richard whispered with a low-pitched and desperate sob as he caressed the stone with his trembling hand. His face, marred for life, had an even more painful expression plastered on his face as tears started to fall slowly onto the dirt. But it’s not your fault. Damian wanted to let him know. He wasn’t there to stop it. Unlike you his mind whispered.

Jason Todd remained silent. Todd had always been quick to emotion in general, to tears when someone else was sad, to contagious laughter when their siblings were smiling, quick-tempered, choleric when provoked. Surprisingly an empathetic sensitive soul, spent many years alone, hungry for tenderness and familial ties. And yet he was wearing an expressionless mask, but his body betrayed his affliction, shaking so badly that Tim had to grasp tightly at his arms to prevent him from going down. Drake. Tim was clearly having so much invisible burden on his shoulders. His curved jaw clenching tight, and his dark blue eyes cast downwards and unblinking. He didn’t have his daily cup of black coffee. No, he didn’t have a single drop of his precious caffeine today. He kept his head low the entire ceremony, maybe he didn’t have the heart to look up at the crying mess everyone was. Perhaps he thought somebody had to tough it out, specially considering Father’s absence.

Stephanie standing close to him, blonde curls dancing with the autumn wind, biting her lips the entire time. Stephanie who tried to be strong and now, after holding in for too long, the tears break out like a leaking dam. She was devastated and weeped openly, clinging to Tim’s coat as if her life depended on it, as if she were drowning, the sight made the hole in Damian’s chest squeeze around his heart. Guilt. Distress.

Cassandra was hardly moving from her spot. She had a deep crease on her brow, and face as hard as rock. She hugged herself in the arms, shielding her frame from the icy wind, when Duke swiftly placed his Armani cashmere coat on her shoulders, her hands were going cold, and the moment Duke noticed the way she shivers with small movements. He considerately held them between his, providing temporary warmth, trying to find some kind of comfort in each other, but Cassandra avoided making eye contact with anyone, her mind was really blank as a void. Possibly still attempting to process the reality. Duke Thomas, the only one that hasn’t lost his mind amid this consequent emotional instability, drops of tears still hanging from the corner of his eyes, while the rests were slowly drying on his cheeks. Damian wasn’t exactly close to Duke but he wondered how he managed to carry on. Where did he find the strength to persist? Damian walked closer to the tombstone, feeling resignation seep into his bones.

Alfred Thaddeus Crane Pennyworth, beloved father, grandfather, mentor, friend, heroic veteran, a talented cook, a man of family, with a great big heart. Alfred Pennyworth had been a man with many facets. He brought balance to this dysfunctional family, he was the peace and voice of reason. Alfred who made Dick stay in bed when he was badly injured and encouraged him to eat proper meals, lectured Jason for his vulgar language, introduced Jason into the culinary arts, trusting him with the top secret Pennyworth recipes, who secretly switched Tim’s coffee for decaffeinated when he had too much, who prepared Stephanie waffles after a night out patrolling, didn’t say a word of the nights she sneaked out with Kara, who enjoyed the company of Cassandra lurking around the manor, when she’s having a bad day he used to watch the stars with her, listening to Cass make up stories about each star, Alfred who never had to fix anything Duke broke because Thomas instantly apologized and offered to fix it himself, Alfred that found intriguing sudden Duke’s interest in gardening. Alfred... who who spend each and every Damian’s birthdays with him ‘every birthday is special and must be celebrated Master Damian’, gifted him a cat because it made him think of him, offered him a cup of hot chocolate or tea sleepless nights. Alfred, who told him he was proud of him. Alfred, who raised him and loved him wholeheartedly until his last breath.

Damian ran his hand down a large polished stone, ‘Wayne’ carved into it expertly. He sighed wearily and stood beside a gravestone, right next to the family stone, he absentmindedly ran his fingertips along the engraved letters.

‘Alfred Thaddeus Crane Pennyworth’

August 16, 1943

-

October 10, 2019

‘The light of our household is gone. Leaving only haunting echoes lingering in this home. A place is vacant in our hearts, which will never be filled.’

It was indeed fitting. Their light was Alfred and he was gone for good. For good the words echoed in his head like an incessant prayer. He felt a pang of pain surge through him as he recalled his last moments with the man who raised him. It felt as if his life was torn apart just yesterday.

‘I miss him already.’ Cassandra gestured in sign language, a single tear rolling down her cheeks. Damian didn’t know if she was saying it to him or his siblings, maybe she just wished to get the weight off her chest, when he didn’t think it could, his heart broke even more.

“Fuck.” Jason swore with pained voice, his turquoise eyes blurring with angry tears that he wiped away roughly. Not particularly at his siblings but himself. For not being able to protect the man who offered a ray of kindness to him, who nurtured his severely malnourished body to health. He didn’t blame Bruce or the others. He was supposed to be better, strong enough to defend his father. Dick was a fucking mess in the dirt,embracing the tombstone with all his strength, like it would somehow bring the dead man back to life. Steph wouldn’t stop crying. Tim was silently punishing himself in his own way, and Cass had been in a mental limbo until a a minute ago. Bruce wouldn’t leave his room for Pete’s sake. He isolated himself from everything and everyone, he simply existed in his bedroom. Not surprised. He should be here, saying goodbye to Alfred, who dedicate his entire life to help him, instead of retreating to a dark room and lying in bed, brooding over his problems. Damian. Damian was so young, he looked like hell, devastated as everyone else. Jason could detect the shadow of regret in his green eyes. He’s seen it before because he experienced it and he saw it every day in Bruce’s eyes. But at least Damian was here, dealing with the crude reality and his anguish.

It felt unreal, like this was only a horrible slow-motion nightmare and they would wake up any minute, a sharp knife that bore a hole through their hearts yet they kept on standing still.

Perhaps it was time to fulfill Alfred’s wishes. He wanted Bruce to set his thirst for justice aside and find happiness, maybe a companion, spend quality time with the children, who clearly weren’t children anymore. The youngest being Damian, who just turned fifteen a couple of months ago. He wanted Richard to start a family of his own with Barbara. He wanted Jason to come back home and stop fighting with a Bruce. He wanted a Tim to seek professional help, see a counselor, quit drinking that damned coffee in excess. Stephanie to stop denying her feelings for Tim and give their relationship a chance. Cassandra constantly suppressing her emotions, fearing to get attached, she was human not a machine trained to commit murder when ordered. Duke should leave behind any doubts to forge his own path and accept he was loved by their family. Damian who Alfred loved like his own grandchild, no matter what he did or what type of person he decided to become, Alfred would always be proud of Damian. ‘In the end, you makes you. No one else, Master Damian.’

“How are you holding up, shortstack?” Jason asked him unexpectedly, snapping out of it, he didn’t know how long his mind had been replaying fond memories with Alfred, he felt the weight of Jason’s hand falling on his shoulder, wearing a genuinely concerned expression.

A cold wind passed by, gracing the leaves and making some brief sounds. The wind leaving with a trail in the form of chilly, close to freezing air. Damian weighted the question in his head. There was only ever-growing emptiness in his chest. After a long moment he spoke.

“I will live.” Damian answered softly, eyes completely fixed on the stone. “I’ll miss him, too...brother.” The young Robin unreservedly confessed, Jason looked slightly taken aback at the words Damian muttered. Damian’s emotions were expressed with snarky comments, throwing daggers and knives, making deadly threats and intimidating stares. He had an aggressive and confrontational demeanor. Damian has never called Jason brother, but it made his lips curl into a small smile. Yes, he was his brother.

Damian was vaguely aware of Jason’s body heat now at his side, followed by Richard who was helped by Tim to stand up, his chest sore from sobbing, black suit covered in dirt but he didn’t seem to care. Meaningless material assets, nothing compared to the irreparable loss they suffered hours ago. Steph took a couple of steps closer to them, her eyes, twins pools of sadness, red and swollen, soon the Wayne siblings gathered around their youngest brother. Embracing tightly the teenager into a group hug.

They shared the same deep numbing pain, but it's more agonizing for Damian because he had been there when it happened, they all knew Damian was suffering so much. The feeling ate him inside, consuming and breaking every part of him miserably. But he isn’t alone anymore, he has his family with him. Damian’s tears are hot and travel down his tanned cheeks, he didn’t want to cry but he couldn’t hold it in any longer, the heartache, the loss, agony, guilt, everything was hitting him all at once. It hurt so much knowing full well that Alfred won't wake up ever again from this neverending deep sleep, buried under the ground lonely and cold and breathless. His grandfather.

It'll be just the the eight of them and it is frightening to accept the truth, that Alfred wouldn’t be around anymore to look after them like he did after all these years. Ever since he first set foot in the Wayne manor. He would me missed every single day. Rchard’s heart broke at the sight of Damian in such crumbling state, his characteristic composure fallen and so alien after living together so many years. Damian was broken too. Dick did the only thing he could think of, patted him affectionately on the back, rubbing it soothingly, mumbling quietly “We are here, Dami.” Letting him know they were all there for him in every possible way. They would try to carry our Alfred’s last wish, for them to get along, integrate, be an harmonious family. Be true siblings. Always Alfred’s children. Together they sang farewell to Alfred with broken chords.

I am not sure if I want to edit this later but here s the progress. I might add Bruce’s part later or tomorrow. My tribute to Alfred 💜❤️❤️❤️

@sofiii @chromium7sky @deep-in-mind67

[stxleslyds]

Part 2 of my Under the Red Hood Review

Hello! Here I am again with part two of this review, if you want to read the first part I will link it here!

Let’s continue!

Chapter eight gives us a look into the past, to when Jason was stealing the batmobile’s tires, to one of the first times Jason went out as Robin with Batman and everything was wonderful…then one of the scenes from the past show a Jason that may come off as a bit more aggressive on the job, it’s also shown that he does agree that the level of aggression was unnecessary but that the criminal deserved it anyway.

I know that sometimes people get the impression that Jason was an angry and extremely aggressive Robin, which is not correct, he was a sweetheart (and I am referring to Post-Crisis Jason because that’s what is in continuity in this story) just like Dick (he had forty years of being a sweetheart too, Marv Wolfman misses me with that angsty and angry shit) but I think what’s important here is the fact that Jason saw things differently from Bruce and that does not make him a bad Robin, it makes him a Robin with different experiences and as a human being he is allowed to change his views, also let’s be honest, hormones are a bitch so emotions are at an all-time high so he is bound to change. This does not mean that his death was his fault, Jason felt lost and wanted a mother and he made some decisions but Bruce was the adult and he should have paid more attention to him and his behavior so in this house the only ones to blame for Jason’s death will always be the Joker and Batman.  

Rant over.

Back to the issue we see Bruce, who has been doing tests and analyzing the coffin that Jason was supposedly buried in for hours, he is a whole ass mess but at some point in time he reaches a verdict…There was never a body in the coffin.

In chapter nine we meet Davis McCullen and Alfie Tisner who have a sort of meth lab in Black Mask or Red Hood’s territory, they don’t really know, and they also have a friend that is selling drugs to kids so yeah…they are in big trouble.

As I read I expect Hood to kind of appear out of thin air and kill them but that doesn’t happen, Batman is the one that comes crashing through a window and tells them that if they don’t pack their things and move they are dead because there is a wall full of C4 (that Jason implanted), Batman wastes no time and gets to work on disarming the bomb as he does that Jason makes himself known (trough a microphone) and tells the Bat that there is no way he can do it and that he better run too. Bruce says that the building is empty and there is no reason for him to blow it up which Jason is aware of and then suggests that Batman knows how much good it does to put a little fear into people and…boom.

Look at this little shit.

We soon find out that the building belonged to Black Mask, and that is not the only thing that Hood wants off the map, he is shown blowing up one of Masks trucks that is full of weapons. Here we also learn a bit more about his modus operandi, he never steals drugs or weapons for himself, he just destroys them and while they were expecting that behavior in what Hood deemed his territory, he is now doing it everywhere. We also find out that before he was trying to get Mask’s people to work for him but now he just kills them.

He is, however, taking his cut from wherever he can, so maybe he is building his own empire and his move as of now is eliminating the competition. This theory is proven true when Jason in all his glory and with a bazooka shoots Mask’s office floor.

Mask is pissed off and as he is screaming into the wind an angel answers his call…Deathstroke is here and he wants to play. This is not pleasing for Hood or Batman.  

Slade is working with the Society and Mask wants Hood “Serious dead. Head on a pike, guts on the pavement, me wearing a sweater vest made of his skin kind of dead.” So, Slade sends people to take care of the job.

Mask isn’t pleased though, apparently Captain Nazi (???), Hyena and an unknown third party aren’t enough for him but Slade assures him that they will get the job done, no worries.

The attack on Hood comes when some men are trying to send a “message” to him and here is where weirdo one and two bamboozle our boy.

The fight that ensues is good but is overshadowed by what Alfred says behind the scene, he talks about how Jason as Robin told him that Batman and the legend of what he could do didn’t necessarily scare the “dress ups” the way that it scared the street thugs, so as a consequence they were more dangerous, Alfred true to himself tried to explain that the dress ups probably believe different things about Batman but Jason told him something that shocked him, he said “They all know he won’t kill them.” Which is true, you, me and Alfred know it.

As Alfred continues “talking” the fight welcomes a new player, Batman. He narrates the fight and realizes that they need to team up which comes naturally to them both, in a second they are in synch just like they used to back in the cave all those years ago. As the fight is coming to an end the third party arrives…yep Count Vertigo is here, the fight doesn’t last long though, because there is adrenaline and hyenas and scents the fight is over in no time (I am not explaining that fight, it’s so weird). Captain Nazi is the only casualty and Batman isn’t happy but just like Jason I am okay with it, if he had to kill one of them let it be the Nazi.

Jason obviously leaves and taunts the Bat once more.

Alfred ends the monologue by saying that Jason never understood that it wasn’t Batman’s strength or stealth that scared his adversaries but his resolve.  

So, Batman makes a dramatic promise, “Time for this to end.” dun dun duuuuun

Chapter eleven part one opens with Alfred telling us about one of his and Bruce’s hobbies, they used to collect first editions of books and it soon became a tradition that Alfred then shared with both Dick and Jason…so when he finds a package for him and B that says “Just two to add to the pile. Cheers – Jason” Alfred immediately contacts Bruce.

Back to Black Mask, he apparently decided to set up a meeting with his right-hand men, they think that they are there to evaluate the idea of making a deal with Red Hood so he stops messing up their business and they are right! It’s just that the deal was made between Mask and Hood and it consisted in them being killed off.

 “Are you happy?” Roman asks.

“Getting there” Hood answers.

Back with Alfred we are able to see what is in the package. In it there is a lock of green hair with tissue included so yeah, now they know that Jason has the Joker, and he was nice enough to give them an address.

Once again with Mask and Hood well, let me tell you if Hood is just “getting there” then Mask is just not happy. They get into an argument, a big one, Mask says that killing all his right-hand men should be sufficient but Hood says it isn’t. It goes on for a while and Mask loses his marbles completely, apparently he put everything on the line for the deal but Hood really doesn’t give a fuck. A fist connects with Hood’s face and a fight ensues, while they do that they also yell at each other about the proper way of running the underworld, the fear factor, who is prettier, who is the best gangster and who looks better in biker clothing…you know, the important stuff.

I am not undermining the fight, believe me but it’s just that they talk, punch and throw each other across the room a lot. Sacrifice and what they are willing to do for Gotham or better said what they are willing to do TO Gotham are the last things they discuss.

Just as the end of the fight comes, we once again have Alfred talking in the background about the time Jason died and the time Bruce’s parents died and how different the two instances are, Bruce was a little boy and defenseless when his parents died but when Jason died he had everything, the training, gadgets and abilities the only thing that he lacked was time.

And as it turns out that’s about to happen once more…Batman is going to arrive to the place where Jason and Mask are going at it just in time to see Jason drop dead on the floor.

Don’t worry friends Jason isn’t dead (again) it’s just a random dude with a mustache and Mask is pissed about it, what’s new?

Jason is actually with the Joker, and by “with the Joker” I mean being annoyed by the Joker…he is ranting on and on about how he killed him, how good things come in threes like Batman, Robin and himself. At some point Joker decides that the sensible thing to do next is compare Jason still letting him live with Batman’s no killing rule and then to make matters worse compare Jason’s actions as Red Hood with his own.

I absolutely LOVE Jason in this moment, I swear seeing Joker’s smile fade away brings me joy, he tells him exactly what he doesn’t want to hear. Jason isn’t like the Bat he won’t stay and play his game; this man right here just scared the Joker and nobody can’t tell me otherwise.

Back to Batman, he is trying his best to shake Mask off but the man keeps questioning if he knows who the Red Hood is and why did he let him operate in such a brutal way for so long (and affecting his business, poor thing so sad). Batman basically tells him to stop playing victim, he thinks that Mask crossed a line that someone really didn’t want crossed and that at the end of the day he is just another gagster…which is exactly what Hood had said moments ago trough the helmet to Black Mask, in a moment of great intelligence Mask deduces that maybe Batman actually knows exactly who Hood is.

Batman of course doesn’t answer because he thinks he is slick but the cat is out of the bag. Among the ruble of the helmet that just exploded (yeah the helmet had a built in bomb, that detonated after Mask unmasked the mustache man) Batman finds a message from Hood, a place and “you know where”.

The east end, Crime Alley. That’s where Jason takes him because it’s “fitting”, after all it’s the place where they first met.

Jason tells Batman that the Joker is in the building next to them and that he has it wired to blow it up, so Batman being his stupid self says that he won’t let him kill the Joker (come on Jason why do you want to kill the nice clown man, he is such a sweetheart).

The fight between those two is about to start when the scene changes. An attack, a living bomb called Chemo is being dropped (by the Society) in Bludhaven, Nightwing’s city. And Batman has a front row seat to see the show.

Yep, it’s not a good time to make snarky comments Jason; as far as both of them know Dick Grayson is dead. And the emotion in Batman’s face is heartbreaking, we as the readers have seen impossible situations, characters surviving shit that they wouldn’t in real life but characters within comics don’t know that… so, Bruce just saw another one of his sons die. (Dick is alive though, don’t worry)

Now, Jason has been a little shit during the whole story, but do not think for a moment that the situation somehow brings any form of positive emotion within him, what happens is that he sees an emotionally compromised Batman and well, will there ever be a better chance to manipulate him into feeling even worse?

…If Batman leaves, the Joker dies. So, first choice for the Bat, either he goes to what’s left of Bludhaven and searches for Dick or he stays and doesn’t let Jason kill the Joker.

Batman chooses to fight, and once again they start the same dance but this time B has upgraded his gadgets (you will never catch him wearing the same thing twice! Shame on you!) Jason teases him a little bit about the cape and B burns his jacket…

Batman has a whole speech about how Jason won’t be able to save Gotham or be better than him…that he knows that he failed him and is trying not to do it again. But Jason says that the failure he talks about isn’t really were his problem lies.

There we have it. And I would like to ask the same thing, why is the Joker still alive? Would it actually be so bad if he were beaten to death by someone’s bare hands? (Check out Joker: Last Laugh #6 (January, 2002) for a surprise)  

But that’s not the point, Jason is mad because he doesn’t understand and he feels betrayed, if the mad man kills a fifteen-year-old and then continues to kill and you as Batman aren’t willing to break the cycle of:  1) Joker escapes Arkham 2) Joker does something evil 3) Batman fights and captures him 4) Batman sends the Joker to Arkham 4) Arkham is already corrupt and lets him out after a while or he corrupts/kills a few people into letting him out, then what kind of man are you?

Batman obviously has an answer as to why he hasn’t killed Joker yet. He doesn’t do it because it will be too easy and not only that but he has thought about it…not just killing him but torturing him BUT! he won’t. He can’t really, you see, If he does it once maybe he will never stop (there he goes, the man with a resolve of steel) if he walks the dark path once he will walk it forever. Basically, Batman has zero willpower and zero control…my dude no one believes you!!!! Jason doesn’t either but he does have something to say.

Heartbreaking, that’s the only thing I have to say about these panels, these are panels that have always stuck with me. If you want this conversation to reach a whole new level of emotion I suggest you watch Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010) it’s an animated movie and Jason Todd is voiced by Jensen Ackles (who plays Dean Winchester in Supernatural) which is probably the best casting ever, Jensen is excellent at showing emotion with his voice. I totally know that probably all of you have seen the movie but it’s so good that I really think it’s worth watching again.

It doesn’t matter how emotional it’s for us, Batman can’t and won’t kill him, not even when Jason slides him a gun…so here comes the second time Batman has to make a choice

And he does, well, he uses a batarang to slice Jason’s throat making him let go off the Joker. Jason falls to the floor, a pool of blood around him. As that happens Joker grabs the gun and aims for the dynamite left there (remember that the building was set to go off) and shoots. BOOM!

And that’s the end. All three of them survive although Batman didn’t know that Jason was going to survive, I mean can he actually tell the future or…maybe I am missing something.

And yes, that was the end, I understand that to some it’s just a shitty ending and I don’t blame you…but to me it’s genius.  

It ends with Batman betraying Jason. They don’t make up, Batman doesn’t try to come to an understanding with him, he just makes a choice, he would rather save the Joker before killing or letting Jason kill him, which is bullshit my friends because Jason has been killing this whole story and B has been aware of it.

Jason appears later in Nightwing issue #118 (May, 2006) to #122 (September, 2006) as Nightwing and with tentacles. Don’t worry, you don’t have to read that. After that he appears here and there but personally, I really didn’t catch up with him up until Batman: Battle for the Cowl.

 Anyway, I am going to end it here, I hope whoever takes the time to read this enjoys it, see you around!

[ohmy7hearts]

so ist es immer

Summary: There are some things in life which are meant to be - like Damian taking over the mantle as Batman when he grows up - and there are some things in life which are meant to happen so others can grow.

Pairings: mainly Damian Wayne x Batsis!Reader

Warnings: Suicidal theme

Requested by: @loxbbg

A/N: This was done like two days ago... but I forgot to post it once I got home to my laptop. ANYWAYS, I hope you like it! The second part will be up sometime this week? As I feel that lumping this part with your second part of request a bit jarring in terms of theme. The title is the inspiration for this fic. Thank you for requesting! PS I’m always here if you need someone to talk to and I hope if you are feeling such ways, you are seeking help as well.  

"Dami, I don't think I'm going on patrol tonight," you whispered. Eyes fixed on the window of his room. 

Damian stopped. Hands frozen on the laces of his boots, he faced you by the doorway. The light from the corridor illuminating your silhouette and your expression shrouded in the darkness of his room. He can't see the very eyes which reflect the heart you usually wear on your sleeve nor can he see the smile on your lips. He can't see anything; an expression, a clue. 

Something tugs at his heartstrings. He frowns. There's a lump in his throat. Hands trembling. Standing up with a boot forgotten, his attention wholly on you. 

"All of us would be going for patrol." Will you be okay alone at home? 

You faced him. Still nothing. Like looking at a statue. 

"It's just a headache. You know how bad it can get." Don't worry about it, you have better things to worry about. 

The tug is back. The lump is worse. On instinct, he straightened. 

"TT, you should visit a doctor. It's not getting any better." It's foolish for you to think I will worry any less about you. 

You sighed. It's tired and heavy. First clue. Only clue. 

"I just need some rest, I'll be fine."

You straightened. Gave a small smile at him. Walked down the corridor. 

He took a step forward. Stopped. He trusted you. 

You would tell him if there's something wrong. 

You would tell him everything. 

You would… right? 

Head shaking. 

Heart heavy. 

But he didn't. 

Turned back around against his instinct. 

He wore his other boot, hands flying with familiarity yet heart and mind on you. 

You would.

You should. 

But you didn't.

Staring at the sky, you wondered. 

How it's like being something undeniably important to life. 

You tried, you really did. But with every effort comes that voice inside your head whispering what-ifs. 

You tried to think about how much of a disgrace you would be. How much disappointment that would mar their face. How much pain... their hearts would be, Damian especially. 

Oh, silly Damian… Your other half yet someone so opposite of you. The ruler destined to take over your grandfather and the hero expected to take over your father. The brother your mother always encouraged and pushed yet when a flash of exhaustion passed by you, you would be told to rest. The brother who somehow easily fit into the mould of robin after your other brothers while you're shown sweet smiles and sweeter embraces when donning the batgirl costume. 

But it's not his fault. It never was and never will be. 

Would then mean it's yours? 

Maybe if you were more optimistic, you could see the beauty in life as Dick would always say. Maybe if you were braver, you could be as strong as Jason to confront his fears. Maybe if you were smarter Like Tim, you could find various ways to get rid of this emptiness in your soul. Maybe if… 

Should you find somewhere further to do this? Somewhere where they can’t find you?

Mind reeling, eyes flitting. Glancing at the pills, you swallowed it. 

Head resting on the tub, you finally feel at peace. Memories with your family play like a movie for the last time. Eyelids get heavier. And exhale. 

Exhale.

In uneasiness. To get rid of this heavy feeling in his chest. His leg started to bounce. 

“Is everything okay Damian?” Bruce asked as he drove the batcar home. 

He hummed in reply. Bruce rose an eyebrow. But he knew better. So he just observes. 

“Father, do you think she’s hiding anything from me?”

His voice was so small. Body made smaller. He never saw Damian like this, but he doesn’t blame him. You were Damian’s everything - his voice of reason, his emotional support and in essence his other half.

“What makes you think so?”

“There’s this… My chest feels heavy.” 

Damian struggles with showing emotions, he knew that; like father, like son. To see the worry creasing his forehead above the mask and the mouth tugging downwards into a pout, it must have been plaguing his mind for some time. 

“Why don’t you visit her later? It would definitely help.”

He hummed in reply. And so he did.

Jumping out of the car, he made a beeline towards your room. Even when Alfred called out to him to change first, Bruce dismissing him on Damian’s behalf and his brothers’ inquisitive stare, his mind was fixed. Through the study room and the hallways, up the grand staircase and pass through the winding hallways. The feeling in his chest grew like a parasite - chest and arms and legs heavy like lead. His march turns to a slight jog and turns to full speed ahead.

He threw the doors open. 

It’s dark. 

The curtains are closed. The bed is made. 

Where?

He flipped the switch.

He feels like vomiting. 

Where?

He swallows the lump in his throat. 

He checks every crevice in the room.

Where?

Eyes burning with unshed tears.

His eyes finally glanced to the bathroom.

There.

But something is calling out to him.

Don’t.

But he was never one for following orders. Even with his head pounding with various possibilities and his vision blurry with the tears now flowing down his face to which he does not know when did it start but that’s not what concerns him nor the gnawing pain in his heart which becomes worse with every step forward and the distance shortens but so does his breath and it felt like his lungs are burning and his mind clouding and he --

Stops.

So does his heart.

His mind does not register it.

But his instinct does and his steps fall forward. 

To you.

His hands, trembling, graze your neck for a pulse. Then, your nose for a breath. 

You’re cold.

He carries you out of the tub and into his arms. Hug you a bit tighter, closer, until there’s no saying as to where you end and where he starts.

And that’s how Dick finds you two. 

First, confusion flit past his mind. Then, discomfort at Damian’s sobs.

He hardly cries. You’re not breathing. 

He shouts for his family before leaping into action. He separated your body from Damian who was shell shocked at the prospect of your missing body so he fought and tried grabbing you back between all the threats and sobs then the begging and crying to which Dick’s heartbreak at every plead that comes flying out of Damian’s mouth but he couldn’t give in to him because you need help and you don’t deserve this and he’s so confused and this situation is so --

“What… the hell?” 

Jason took one look at the mess - between your limp body, Dick’s plead of help and Damian’s desperateness. No, he refuses. 

Tim, just right at Jason’s heels, came out blank. Only questions fill his mind and no answers. Too much information and yet too little. Why?

"What the fuck are you doing? We need to get her to the hospital!" Jason gently took your form. 

"No! Give her back! Don't touch her! Let her go!" Damian's shrill voice echoed in the mansion, clawing at Dick's bleeding arms wrapped around his torso as he glared at Jason through the tears. 

Jason stared. He refused. He turned. 

Then bumped into something - someone. 

"What… No… What happened to her?" Bruce's voice and facade broke in every possible way. 

His large hands skimmed your neck then your face. It's cold, too cold. 

"Master Bruce, I suggest…" Alfred's voice faded at the scene. 

Damian limp in Dick's arms, wailing for something - the first time he ever saw Damian so broken because even in his death, he never feared. Dick, always the empath, was caressing Damian but the action held no love; it was like he was doing it because he had to. Tim was frozen by the bathroom doorway gazing at something far away like his brain has failed him and that's all he ever was and now all that was left was a husk of a man. Jason, with his big stature, was cradling something - someone - but his face shows anything but strength as his lips quivered and eyebrows furrowed. Bruce was mumbling, caressing the hair of his daughter, tears not showing any sign of stopping nor did it register in his mind; he was as far too gone in his mind. 

It was like a movie; it felt so surreal.

He felt like he was peeking into a window of a family who has lost everything. 

But it was not; that was his family grieving. 

And he blamed himself. 

He was here with you. He should have checked up on you. He should have listened to the voice nagging at his mind. He should have insisted he stayed with you when you told him to assist them with the batcomputer. He should have… been better. 

And it echoed in the minds of 5 other people. 

The mansion was always quiet at this time; moon high yet soon to be replaced by the sun. But never with the air heavy and the family gathered in one room. Never with the mansion echoing cracked voices and rasped cries. Never with hollow souls and breaking hearts. Never with one less member in this too huge of a mansion. 

[crowleyellestair]

Knuckles, Meet Teeth

AN/// Thanks for requesting!

Request: “…A Jaskier X Reader. She traveled with the boys and was their best friend. She’s in love with Jaskier but she never told him by fear of it not being mutual because of his flirty nature. When Geralt screams at him in Ep 6 she stepped in by punching him and yelling at him too not hurt the one she loves- in turn confessing in front of the bard”

I hope this was what you were looking for!

Warning: Blood and cursing

Masterlist

 @elliesarisugawachan​

 “Hoo. What a day-.”

“Damnit, Jaskier! Why is it that when I find myself in a pile of shit, it’s you, shoveling it?”

“That’s not fair-.”

“The child Surprise, the Djinn- all of it! If life had one blessing, it would be you off my hands.” The witcher turned, eyes not really focusing on anything. Jaskier stood there for a moment, realizing quickly that even if Geralt hadn’t truly meant what he said, he wouldn’t be willing to talk for a while. Y/n could hear the small gasp from the bard as he tried to quench a sob. He gave a small, disbelieving nod.

“Ok. I’ll go try and get the story from the rest of the group-.” There was a pause as Y/n marched from her perch to the other man. Jaskier’s heart dropped, wishing she wouldn’t stay and leave with him.

Everyone was surprised- even Y/n. She never felt her feet move, nor her arms moving. She gripped Geralt’s shoulder, shoving him- turning him so his eyes met her furious ones. Her other arm cocked as she did it. Geralt could barely register her gall to touch him in that moment, let alone her fist moving towards his face quickly. His lips were pulled into a snarl, so when her knuckles collided, his upper lip split against his teeth. Blood quickly began running, though the wound would heal in seconds. He staggered back, more through surprise than anything.

Y/n quickly brought her throbbing hand to her chest, letting out aggressive growls. The woman was an herbalist, not a fighter. The hit felt as though she hit a brick wall- though, in a way, she did. She started to pace, but quickly jabs a finger in the older man’s direction. Y/n lets a growl turn into a yell before giving her thoughts.

“How fucking dare you. This Yen situation? Your fault. Did you even hear what he said? ‘You’ll lose her’, but everything that’s lost can be found, Dumbass! And who is the one person that would drop everything to help you? Julian Alfred Pankratz, that’s who.” Geralt threw a growl back, stepping towards her.

“Don’t start. ‘Drop everything’?” Y/n stepped forward as well, dropping her hands, though keeping them in fists.

“Yeah. So he takes unnecessary risks and flirts with everything that has a pulse? You think that I’m sitting back, enjoying it? I’ve been watching the one person that I have found to love try and fuck his way across the continent. Crazy enough, I don’t let my pain blind me to my other friends. You know that I love him, yet you let him traipse around, showing off. Have I ever blamed you or gotten mad? No, because he’s trying to help you. You aren’t the only Witcher.” At some point, Geralt looked to Jaskier, and dropped the snarl. He looked back at Y/n, his body tense, but less aggressive.

“It’s not the same situation.” Y/n let out a loud, humorless laugh.

“Oh? Maybe you’re right. But at least you are the only one to blame for fucking it up or making it worse. Jaskier didn’t make the wish. He hadn’t claimed the Law of Surprise. Correlation is not causation, Geralt. You’d think they’d teach you not to jump to conclusions up at Kaer Morhen.” Y/n shook her head, glancing over Geralt’s shoulder at the view of the mountains. Fog, trying to be penetrated by sunlight is all that could be seen. She tisks, quickly marching past Jaskier. Both men just stared in silence before she turned to look back at him, jabbing a finger out one last time. “I hope they at least taught you how to grovel- that’s the least Julian deserves after the shit you just tried to pull.”

They both could hear her grumbling from her retreating form. The two stood there, looking at each other before the bard turns, following after her. It didn’t long for him to catch up. They walked in silence; her fist being clutched to her chest again. When they make it back to the bottom of the mountain, Jaskier made her stop and sit by Roach. He grabbed her supply bag, wetting an extra cloth to wipe the blood from her hand.

Her eyes never left the ground, so when he kneeled in front of her, he had to dip his head to fill her line of sight. There were tears in his eyes, but he had a gentle smile. His palm laid open, asking for permission. There was hesitation, but she placed her hand in his, as he gently dabbed the blood away. Y/n’s middle knuckle split open due to it hitting the man’s teeth like his lip had. When the area was clean, he grabbed salve in her kit, slowly, smoothly rubbing it into the skin. He focused on her, trying to not feel the pain of losing a friend, but the joy that might lie ahead. His brows pulled together when he noticed her choppy breaths, looking into her eyes, noticing the silent tears falling.

He quickly wiped his hand off on his pants, then bringing it up to wipe her tears away from her cheeks. She flinched away, and so did he.

“I’m sorry. You don’t deserve any of this. Fuck Geralt, and that dragon, and Yen- all of it. Fuck galivanting around. You should only be traveling between courts, being the performer for Kings and Queens. You don’t need to be on the road.”

Her words yet again surprised him. He decided to rest his hand in the juncture between her neck and shoulder, softly squeezing.

“Well, do you want to be in court?” It was her turn to be surprised and confused.

“What does that matter? No, I don’t belong there. I’m an herbalist and a chemist who tries risky experiments to make killing monsters easier.”

“Then I don’t belong there either.” Her eyes finally met his, and maintained it. Her anger was still bubbling, and started to slip at the bard.

“That makes absolutely no sense. You’ve had a long day, but I didn’t think you’d be that wary.” Her tone and jab were meant to bite, but he knew. Despite being in the dark about Geralt, he knew about her.

“I don’t belong anywhere you’re not.” Her eyes fell shut. Y/n let out a shaky sigh, bringing her other hand to rest over his mouth, successfully covering it. Her forehead fell forward to rest against his.

“Don’t. Don’t start that. I will follow you anywhere, but I refuse to stay if you feel the need to say things like that to keep me around. I don’t need any convincing, or pity.” The bard drew his brows together, pulling back. She slumped forward a bit, seeing how he looked more upset than he did on the mountain. “What?”

“Do you really think that I don’t feel the same?”

“My hopes of reciprocation died in the bed of the tenth maid you gave a ‘private show’ to.” His hand dropped hers and brought it to her cheek, the other following suit. He brought her in close, but it was more of the act of emphasis that he did so.

“I never mix business and pleasure- that is, until I met you. Though, I didn’t really have a choice. Y/n, I love you.” Her face and tone still shined of disbelief.

“Well, I wish you would have made it more obvious, then.” The bard nodded, silently scolding himself.

“You know me. I have a tendency for playfulness.” They sat in each other’s space silently for a few long moments.  

“So. The coast, huh?” Jaskier perked immediately.

“You’d come with?” She rolled her eyes before smiling.

“Did you not hear what I said earlier?” He smiled back, giving a soft shrug.

“I was moreso focused on the fact that you love me too. And that you hit Geralt.” She laughed and nodded as his hands dropped from her face.

“Yeah, I can’t believe I did either. I didn’t even think… it just sort of… happened?” The man patted her knee before standing and walking to Roach. He started grabbing their small bags, before she turned him around. Her lips found his. There were a lot of emotions, and she was sure that looking back, it might have been too aggressive, but in the moment all she knew was that it felt right. He felt right. His hand rested on her hip, before she let go. “I would hit everyone for your name. For your heart. I won’t stand for anyone who tries to hurt you, Julian.” Jaskier beams down at her, before pulling her in for another kiss.

The two gathered their things, ready to set off. They hear someone clearing their throat, and they turn to find Geralt awkwardly standing there. Y/n subtly put herself in between him and Jaskier.

“An apology is the only thing that should come form you. Are you sure you can do that? That fast after being scolded like a child?” Her voice held anger, but it slowly turned to disappointment.

But she wasn’t the only person to shock as Geralt gritted out a soft,

“Yes.”

[bigskydreaming]

Y'know, a popular nightwing's trope are "fear gas' but like, everyone just makes him afraid of lose everyone and those persons falling and like??? There are a lot of thigs dick would be afraid of, not just that, People god, you can't convince me, he should be one of the persons with most traumatics experiences in the world

Oh, I definitely agree that Dick’s greatest fear isn’t people falling, per se. Family and teammates fall in his presence all the time without it ever visibly affecting him…I do think his greatest fears can be connected to his parents’ death, sure, but IMO its a little more complicated than that.

For myself, I tend to view Dick’s greatest fear as an intertwining of three related elements, meaning it can manifest in a variety of ways.

IMO, he’s most afraid of 1) losing loved ones in some fashion 2) specifically because of him or what he perceives or is told is his failure, 3) with him being left alone or abandoned as a result or a punishment.

Let’s look at his parents’ death:

1) Yes, his parents were murdered by falling to their deaths

2) But Dick per canon in many continuities holds himself as much to blame as he does Zucco, because he believes if he had done a better job of telling or convincing people he saw Zucco threaten Haly, their deaths could have been prevented

3) Resulting in him being left alone in Gotham without his parents, ‘abandoned’ by his circus family, and put in juvie, the place where kids who have done something wrong are sent

which loops back to 1) Dick is alone with no family in Gotham until Bruce takes him in and they eventually form a familial connection.

THAT to me is the trifecta that forms the basis for all the recurring patterns in Dick’s greatest hits of traumas and aftermath.

Robin: Year One:

1) Bruce got hurt and was visibly impacted by their not being able to save the Judge 2) Which he blamed Dick for when lashing out initially 3) Resulting in him firing Dick and Dick running away because he genuinely believed that without being Robin there was no place for him at Wayne Manor

which loops back to 1) Dick is alone with no family in Gotham

Being fired from Robin the second time:

1) Dick loses his partnership with Bruce seemingly due to losing Bruce’s trust 2) because he got shot by the Joker aka he failed 3) resulting in him once again leaving Wayne Manor believing that without being Robin there’s no place for him there, with Bruce doing nothing to stop him or reassure him otherwise

which loops back to 1) Dick is alone with no family in Gotham, and returns to the Titans instead 

Brother Blood:

1) His teammates got hurt both emotionally and physically 2) Due to actions he made while brainwashed 3) Resulting in many long-term consequences for his relationships with many of them

which loops back to 1) Many of his personal relationships among the Titans are permanently altered or ‘lessened,’ making him feel more alone among them

Jason’s Death:

1) Jason dies 2) Upon going to the Batcave in NTT #55 to mourn with Bruce, Bruce directly blames Dick for this by saying if he’d never made Dick Robin, never had a partner, Jason would never had died……bearing in mind Dick’s perception of why he himself was no longer Robin without which Jason could never have become Robin either…..the correlation here as well is that if Dick hadn’t ‘failed’ and gotten shot by the Joker, he never would have been fired, Jason never would have been Robin, Jason would still be alive 3) Bruce tells Dick to get out and leave his keys with Alfred

which loops back to 1) Dick is alone with no family in Gotham, his brother is dead, his father wants him gone, he isn’t welcome in his own home anymore

Mirage:

1) Kori got hurt emotionally 2) Due to his ‘inability to tell it wasn’t her’ 3) Resulting in Kori breaking up with him

which loops back to 1) Dick is left alone without Kori

Blockbuster:

1) Blockbuster kills numerous people in Bludhaven that are close to Dick 2) citing that he’s doing so because he blames Dick for his mother’s death 3) Dick’s circus is burned down, Babs breaks up with him because of Tarantula, who at that point is working for Blockbuster, his friends and the community he formed within his apartment building are all dead

which loops back to 1) Dick is alone in Bludhaven

Chemo:

1) The Society of Supervillains destroys Bludhaven with Chemo 2) Dick perceives this as his fault because he made a deal with Slade to keep Bludhaven safe from the Society and Slade reneged on this deal to spite him 3) the city Dick swore to protect is destroyed

which loops back to 1) Dick is alone without even his city

Tim:

1) Tim is hurt by Dick’s decision to make Damian his Robin and leaves Gotham 2) Dick holds himself responsible for hurting Tim as well as Tim blaming him 3) Dick is left behind in Gotham without his brother

which loops back to 1) Dick loses Tim

Even in New 52:

Damian: 

1) Damian is killed 2) trying to protect Dick 3) Dick is left without his brother

which loops back to 1) Dick loses Damian

Forever Evil:

1) The Crime Syndicate kill numerous people in Chicago 2) Due to Dick giving them up under the Lasso of Submission’s influence 3) Dick is alone and captive in the Syndicate’s hands with nobody seemingly coming to save him from the bomb he’s strapped to

which loops to 1) Dick is unmasked, murdered, and sent undercover to Spyral, losing his entire community, life, and family in various ways before being left alone for an entire year behind enemy lines with his sole line of communication with a single one of his loved ones being Bruce, and even that being lost to him when Bruce gets amnesia with no one else even knowing he’s alive.

Which in turn loops directly into 1) Dick’s entire family is hurt by ‘his choice’ to ‘fake’ his death 2) Because he let them down and failed to find another way 3) Dick is left estranged with Jason, Tim and Babs in particular, and Bruce still lacks his memories

which loops back to 1) Dick is still mostly alone even upon returning from death and Spyral

And most recently:

Ric:

1) Roy is dead, Wally is a fugitive, Jason is even more estranged from Bruce, Damian is floundering 2) all in part because ‘Dick is off being Ric and not caring about any of them’ and thus isn’t there to intercede in any of these things 3) meaning even when Dick regains his full memories he’ll be without several of his loved ones and most likely suffering strained relationships with several others

which loops back to

1) Dick loses his loved ones because of his ‘failures’ to protect them and is left alone or bereft of most of them as a consequence of his failures

(Note what all of this suggests about Forever Evil too, and the way Bruce got Dick to ‘agree’ to go undercover….when Dick is at his absolute lowest point, Bruce plays the card that ties directly into Dick’s ultimate trifecta of fears: If he doesn’t agree to this undercover mission on Bruce’s terms, that only he is suited for due to being believed dead, then his loved ones will pay the price for his stubbornness when Spyral unmasks them all, and this all being right on the heels of Dick ‘getting people in Chicago killed’ by being unable to withstand the Crime Syndicate’s questioning of him with the Lasso of Submission.

OF FUCKING COURSE HE CAVED AND AGREED TO THE MISSION. IT WAS LIKE SHOOTING HIM UP WITH UNDILUTED FEAR TOXIN TAILORED SPECIFICALLY TO HIM.

With the ‘irony’ being, even when agreeing out of desperation NOT to fail his family….in the end….most of his family hits him, lectures him, and is disappointed in him….for failing them by agreeing to the thing he only agreed to because of his deep-seated fear of failing them.)

[kaylathekittykat225]

Pretty Girl // Jason Todd X Reader

Warning/s: small mentions of insecurities, but all is good

Word Count: 4,016

Hey guys, hope you all enjoy. It would be cool to hear what you guys like about my writing if you have the chance, just trying to see what y’all like to see from me. :)

Here’s my Masterlist.

Enjoy.

—–

"Honestly Bruce we are fine, we can take care of Gotham for three nights...No we aren't gonna let it catch fire...Come on that was one time! And that was all Tim's fault! Why aren't you blaming him?!"

"Hey!" Jason groaned as soon as he heard the younger Wayne boy pipe up, obviously tapping into the conversation between Jason and Bruce. Bruce started yelling at Tim, Tim started yelling at Jason, Jason was yelling at the wall he kicked, honestly, it was all a muddled mess.

"Shut up!" The three arguing men all dropped their jaws at being told what to do, and them actually obeying it. Jason opened his mouth to say something sarcastic back, honestly, it's his best come back yet, but Damian spoke up again. "Todd, go to your left."

"What the-"Jason looked over to his left and saw an alley way below him. "If I go left, I fall off the damn roof, you twit. If you wanted me gone that badly, you could have just asked."

"Todd, just go down the damn alley." Bruce's voice in the background was telling Damian off for using language while the vigilante did as the younger asked. He clambered down the fire shoot and walked about the darkened alley way that smelled like old seafood and Chinese.

"Okay Damian, what am I doing down here?" Even through his red helmet, Jason could smell every horrible stench, his lenses adjusting to the much darker surroundings and trying to find something that Damian could have noticed even when he's in Paris with Bruce.

"Just listen." Silence filled the air as he did, he even turned up the sensitivity of his helmet's audio receiver, and still found nothing. "There." Just as Damian spoke, a quiet whine overpowered Jason's ears, deafening him for a minute. Okay, sensitivity too sensitive.

Jason walked towards the noise, adjusting his audio again before he caught sight of the thing making all the noise. "Nice ear Damian, I'll call you guys back." Jason murmured before hanging up on his family, and promptly hanging up on Damian when he tried calling back right after he dropped the call.

"Hey, pretty girl." Jason tenderly whispered, dropping all previous signs that he was one of the most feared names in Gotham as he knelt before the shivering dog in front of him.

The auburn-haired dog whimpered again and pulled her front paw closer to her chest and tried pressing herself between the wall and the dumpster. "Hey, hey, I'm not gonna hurt ya. You don't need to be scared of me, pretty girl." He slowly extended his arm out to the injured looking dog, waiting and hoping that she would lick his hand or sniff it or something that showed she wasn't scared of him.

She however continued to try and push herself back into the corner, away from him. Jason sighed and thought to himself of what to do, going to scratch the itch on his chin when he felt the smooth metal of his helmet against his fingertips.

"Jeez, Jace, that might help if she could see you." He quickly pulled the latch at the base of his neck and pulled the deactivated red mask off his head. "There you go, is that better girl?" Jason quickly shook his hair out of helmet hair mode and smiled gently back at her.

Her shivering body seemed to calm down and the dog leaned forward with a curious expression, slowly scooting out of the corner with her nose extended towards his hand. As she started coming more towards his hand and into the light, Jason saw that there was a long piece of barb wire wrapped around her front paw, covering it in dry and wet blood. "Aw, sweet pup. Let's get you all cleaned up, you pretty girl. Let me see the leg."

The German Shepherd of a dog finally walked into the awaiting arms of Jason; while doing so, she kept her front paw to her chest, holding it away from hurting it any further. The young vigilante kept cooing and whispering quiet words of encouragement to her as he lifted her up onto his lap, he  was already sitting cross legged on the damp ground of the alley way. "I'm going to take you home and have my friend patch you up, okay?" Jason whispered to the dog as he gathered her up in his arms and stood up.

She whimpered quietly and twisted her body around to face him, her pink tongue reaching over to lick his cheek. "Aw, you're welcome."

<<<>>> 

"So, you are saying, Master Jason, that you found this dog in the alley way and you brought her here?" Alfred has asked this question about three times over since Jason and Dick had driven back into the Batcave, Dick still dressed in the cowl he had to wear tonight to assure that everyone that Batman was still about.

"Eyup," Jason popped the "p", keeping his eyes fixed solely on the dog who laid passed out of the table. Watching the man who could be considered the boys grandfather, Jason saw how he was patching up the dog; yes, he was doing one of his many hobbies of being a caregiver, but he seemed very stiff. "Honestly Alfred, if you have a problem with this, I can keep her at mine and Roy's place."

"It is not a problem at all, Master Jason. I don't think anything could be possibly worse than Master Damian's vast array of animals." Dick chuckled from his place in front of the computer, everyone remembering different instances where Damian's animals caused chaos in the house. "Just keep her front leg cleaned and we can talk about what to do with her when Master Bruce returns."

The tallest of the used to be Robins nodded his head and walked over to Alfred's small operating table, the butler walking away with the barbed wire and his surgical tools to return upstairs to his butling. Stealing the silver chair from the corner, Jason wheeled it over and sat next to the dog's head, patiently waiting for her to wake up.

"So, a dog," Dick spun his chair around to look at his little brother, his Little Wing. "Always saw you as a cat kinda dude."

"Please, you know you're the cat fanatic of the family."

"Then why do I have a folder full of you and Alfred the cat cuddling pictures?" Dick chuckled to himself as he pulled the folder up on the screen, showing the multitude of pictures of the buff man and cat.

A gentle blush dusted across Jason's nose and cheeks, "I'm not gonna deny that I am an animal person, but I prefer dogs over any other animal."

Dick hummed at his brother as he rolled his eyes and spun back to the computer. "What's ya gonna call 'er?"

"Hmm," Jason hadn't really gotten that far, all that was in his head was: dog hurt. Help dog. Dog home. Good dog. "I don't know, I don't really want to name her if she isn't really mine."

"Well you got to call her something other than dog." The faux Batman had a point.

Before Jason could really say anything else on the matter, he noticed the German waking up. "Hey, pretty girl." He rubbed the top of her ear between his forefinger and thumb, watching as her dark eyes looked around and groggily focused on him. "How you feeling?" She whimpered at him in response before the dog pushed her body up, stopping when she felt her paw not freely moving before she saw the gauze Alfred had wrapped around the now clean wound.

Jason happily smiled as she yipped and moved herself to be able to lick his hand, rubbing her wet nose against his calloused hand. "So much for a cat person." Jason had to stop himself from rolling his eyes as Dick muttered while he finished up the report for the night.

<<<>>> 

By the end of the fourth day, Bruce and the Demon Sperm Product were scheduled to be home at any moment and Jason was kinda upset that they were coming back home. Okay, so he was happy that they were coming back, because dear God does Bruce do a lot around the city. Tim, Dick and Jason were ready to have two more sets of fists to help swing at the criminals of the city. Let's just thank God that Joker didn't decide that this was his week to break out of Arkham.

But the only living Todd was not looking forward to Damian coming home and stealing Pretty Girl away from him. And that she would love Damian more than she seemed to love him. He finally came to the conclusion to just name the dog Pretty Girl, finding it a fitting name with the knowledge that she was in fact a girl and she was a pretty dog.

So, while breaking down and then proceeding to rebuild his pistol over and over again, Jason stared at the dog who rested her head on his knee, she placed it there after she noticed he couldn't stop making it jump. The clicking of the gun pieces over and over again quickly drew her dark eyes open and stared up at him. "Hey, don't look at me like that." Looking around the room, Jason found he was alone, besides Pretty Girl, in the Batcave and he turned back around to her. "Don't tell Dick I said this, but I'm nervous for you to meet Damian, or I guess Damian to meet you."

Jason went on rambling about his internal worries about Damian and Pretty Girl, but as he looked down to her, all he saw in her eyes was understanding, as if she knew what he was telling her. "I just...I don't want to lose you, Pretty Girl." Setting the gun aside, Jason opened his lap up and the red furred German Shepherd happily accepted the invitation to leap onto the young adult's lap, quickly smothering his face in kisses and licks. He could almost feel her reassuring him that all of his worries are impossible to happen.

The rare deep throated chuckles from Jason were cut short by the rapid footstep and demanding voiced of Damian Wayne racing down the stairs. "Todd? Todd where is this dog? Are you torturing it with your presence? Are you actually torturing it?"

"I'm not an animal torturer, you little brat." Jason muttered to himself as the curious dog leapt from his lap and bounded excitedly towards the oncoming voice.

Her higher pitched barks varied greatly from Titus' deep-set barks that followed after his master's stride. Jason didn't think it was a good idea for her to go up into the mansion, not wanting to have Titus, or even Alfred, bite her for intruding on their space. And BatCow, damn that uttered animal was mean, ain't no way that Jason was letting his Pretty Girl near that monster.

Damian slid towards the dog on his knees, a smile quickly crossed his face at the sight of her. "You should be grateful I heard you over Todd's headset, otherwise something could have eaten you." Running his hair through her freshly cleaned fur towards her ears, Damian quickly looked over to his older brother. "You did well in taking care of her in my absence Todd. You can proceed home now; I don't think the dog nor I will be requiring your assistance any longer."

Jason's breath hitched in his throat as he continued to watch Pretty Girl, his Pretty Girl, lick at Damian's outspread hand. But that's how she was, a dog who loved people and would love anyone who would give her the time of day. He wasn't anything special to her.

Brushing past Bruce, Jason said his goodbye, stating he would see everyone for tonight's patrol when he got there. As he left, he could hear the happy barks of the dog he let himself be stupid enough to feel connected to. "Who the hell am I kidding, she's just a fricking dog, not a woman." But when she was around him, Jason actually felt wanted and needed by someone other than this damned city.

"Will you be needing anything, Master Jason before you go?" Alfred asked without looking up from the dinner he was preparing for Master Bruce's return dinner, knowing all of the boys' footsteps by heart after years of hearing them stomp around the once quiet home he cared for.

"No, I-" Looking up at the old man, Jason stopped in his tracks. "Do you still make that killer hot chocolate you would make me when I was a kid?"

"Only for you, Master Jason." Alfred then swiftly whisked around the kitchen as he prepared the hot chocolate that Jason adored as a little kid; somethings never changed.

But even with the steaming drink before him, that still tasted like heaven in a drink by the way, Jason radiated a mopey mood. "Jason?" The deep-set voice of his adopted father asked from the doorway of the kitchen, surprised to see Jason here,  half expecting Jason to already be back at his apartment and as far away from the house as he could be.

"That's my name, don't wear it out." Named vigilante sighed half-heartedly before taking a quick sip of the drink.

Bruce eyed his son up and down, never too used to emotions, especially coming from this one. Usually Dick was the over emotional and sighing one. "Is...everything alright?" Knowing he was stepping on eggshells, Bruce proceed with caution and took a bar stool next to Jason.

"Oh peachy, good to be reminded around here that I'm not needed and that every time I think someone will depend on me and think I'm worth their time will turn around to someone else, leaving me in their dust." Slamming the cup down, Alfred cleared his throat at the action, resulting in a quiet apology from Jason.

Bruce's steely eyes kept a fixed stare on the black-haired boy with the white streak running through the middle. "Jason, you know you're-"

"I don't need your sympathy, Bruce." Standing up, the boy feeling interrogated quickly chugged his hot chocolate down, welcoming the scalding burn to his throat before gently placing the glassware in the sink to be cleaned later. "I'm running back to my place, call me when you head out for patrol." And without any room from Bruce to call out, Jason had left to grab his bike from the Batcave.

Swinging his leg up over the seat of the bike, Jason switched on the engine and sped off, the screeching of his tires not allowing him to hear the frantic barks of a German Shepherd he was leaving behind.

<<<>>> 

Over the next couple of days, Jason has been far more irritable and much more trigger happy than normal, leaving many of the perps they took down wounded and heavily bleeding. He couldn't even stand the voice of Damian, always snapping at him and disregarding his presence as if he were a gnat on the floor.

"Little wing, you have got to-"

"Quit with that stupid name, Penis!" Jason harshly barked at Dick.

Taken aback, the vulgarly nicknamed blacknette took a step back, the shock evident on his face; that was always a sore topic for Dick, memories of his younger years at the circus with all the older boys who were fire swallowers or throwers making fun of his choice of nickname.

Jason regretted his words as soon as they left his lips, but every little thing was getting on his nerves. And like everything he regretted, he ran from it. Before Dick or the rest of the shocked family could do anything, Jason Todd was gone. "What the heck was the about?" Tim broke the silence from the medical bench, hissing as Alfred continued to stitch up the gash on his forehead.

"Whatever it is, Jason needs to get himself in order, he's going to get suspended from the field if he continues to act like this." Bruce with his cowl still on, glances over to still fazed Dick.

"I think Todd poisoned my dog." Damian declared, having decided it was proper time to change the subject.

Alfred scoffed. "Master Jason did no such thing."

"Then why is she being as grumpy as he is? All she does is sleep in front of his bedroom door upstairs." Rolling his eyes, the usually calm Alfred pulled the thread too tight, resulting in a yelp of pain from Tim.

"You all are too blind to see that Master Jason was very attached to that dog."

"But she's mine!"

"Quite the contrary Master Damian, Master Jason found her and took care of her until you came home from your business trip and claimed her as your own. That is also the explanation for Master Jason's irritability." The butler left his family with this knowledge and proceeded upstairs to enjoy himself a cup of tea.

"What's Pennyworth going on about?"

"A very valid point." Dick said, finally out of his trance. "You should have seen him with her, he loved Pretty Girl."

"Yeah." Tim voiced his agreement.

"But that is such a repulsive name, I think BatDog fits her so much better." From her corner of the room, the German Shepherd perked up at Dick calling her name, only to drop it back down when Damian wandered over to her.

Pulling the cowl off his head and moving to put it away, Bruce called, "Just get Jason back here in a better mood for patrol tomorrow," before walking up the stairs to his bed.

"Well, what's the plan, Dick?"

"We're going to make Jason regret ever bringing up that nickname." Dick replied with a hard-set goal behind his eyes.

<<<>>> 

"Whoever the fuck you are go away!" Jason groaned at the door, not happy to be woken up from his not so peaceful sleep to banging on his front door. He got home and didn't even bother changing out of his bloody uniform, just falling onto his bed and calling it a night.

More banging.

"Quit it!"

Even more banging.

"That's it, you're getting a bullet in the head." Grabbing his pistol from the nightstand, Jason swung open the door and pressed the end of the barrel to the smiling face of his grinning older brother. "What the hell are you doing Dick? It's 4:30 in the fucking morning."

"Oh, the time is called payback for calling me Penis." Happily grinning, Dick was way too calm for someone with a gun pointed point blank at his head.

Groaning, Jason lowered his arm, "Yeah man, I'm sorry 'bout that I just haven't-"

"And that’d be why I am here." Using incorrect grammar always bugged Jason, so this was another little payback is a bitch move of Dick's while he pulled the leash he had hidden behind his back.

"Pretty Girl?" The dog barked happily at her name and leaped across the threshold of the apartment into Jason's unsuspecting arms. "Hey, who's my Pretty Girl?" He pulled his arms out and scratched behind her ears, her pink tongue catching his face and hands as much as she could, both happy to see the other person again. "Dick what's going on? Why'd you bring Pretty Girl here?"

"Well, Damian thinks you poisoned her because she was mopey when you left, Bruce is sick of your attitude, I'm not too pleased with your choice of nickname, Alfred misses making hot chocolate for you, and Tim couldn't care any less that I'm bringing the dog back." Staring at his older brother in disbelief, Jason looked back down at the panting dog, she looked as though she could be smiling back at him. "And she just missed you."

Smiling at the dog, Jason pressed a kiss to the top of her head, "I missed you too girl."

But the joy wasn't long lasting, after Jason pressed the quick kiss to the dog, a loud popping sound followed by a woosh almost blew his ear drums out. A purple dust filled the apartment entry way, filling both Jason's and Dick's mouth with a nasty taste of magic.

"What the hell?" Jason coughed and fanned the dust away from his face, taking a look over to Dick to see him trying to cough up a lung. "Pretty Girl?"

"Down here." A loud shriek followed the voice, if it was from Jason, Dick or the new feminine voice, no one would admit or ever know. But the new not deep make voice scared the crap out of Jason.

Looking down, he saw a girl sitting at his feet, her H/C was a mess and E/C eyes stared right back at him, scared and just as confused as he was. "Um, who are you?"

"I-I'm Pretty-" She caught herself before she said the dog's name. "I'm Y/N."

Nodding, Jason took his leather jacket off and used it to wrap around you, keeping his eyes level with your own, covering you as best as he could with a jacket. "Okay, Y/N," turning away from you he saw that Dick had already read his mind and grabbed you a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt from Jason's closet. "Let's get you some clothes on and we can find out what just happened."

"I...Klarion, I think his name was Kalrion. I was petting his cat when he cursed me or something like that." Nodding, Jason ushered you into the door and out of the hallway where peering eyes could look and led you to the living room, turning his back to you as you changed.

"Sounds like a curse Klarion would do." Dick commented.

Nodding, Jason turned around after you gave him the go ahead. "So, Y/N, um, do you have someone you could call, a boyfriend, husband? Something like that?" Not noticing how your face fell at the question, Jason couldn't let himself look at you for longer than a few seconds, his hands in his pockets were getting sweaty and clammy faster than he wanted to put a bullet through the Joker's head.

"I...no, I just got out of a halfway home, I got out of there cause no one wanted me, and I just turned eighteen a few days before all this happened." You meekly looked down at your feet, playing with your fingers.

"Oh...well um...you can..." Quickly clearing his throat, as well as trying to cough up this nervous behavior he had brewing inside of him, he looked up at you finally meeting your eyes again. "You can stay here for the night. I can take the-"

"I am not letting you take the couch, I watched you come back to the cave with all those bruises and cuts. You are sleeping on your own bed. I can take the couch." You stood tall and stared back at him, your body telling him you were set on your decision and that it would take more than an army to make you change your mind.

"I...okay." Jason relented as he felt how tired his body was, it was still way too early for him to be awake, and his mind was slowly shutting down. "I'll grab you a pillow and blanket."

"Don't worry Jaybird, I gottem for you." Dick happily bright out the pile of linens and went places them on the couch. "And if you will excuse me, I need to go explain to Bruce how we have a new addition to the family." Chocking on his own spit, Jason turned to shout something at his brother, but spluttered out very few words.

"I...I guess this is good night." Jason nodded in agreement and turned to go down the hall to his bedroom. "And Jason," turning back to the mystery girl, Jason felt himself calm a little at her smile. "You can't lose me that easily Jason, especially not to Damian."

Smiling back, Jason thought a second before he responded. "Thanks, Pretty Girl."

[sweet-sammy-kisses]

You’re the Only Sweet I Want

Written for day 1 of JayTim week. Prompt: Chef/Bakery Summary: It has been five years since Jason Todd has laid eyes on Tim Drake since he walked away from the Bat-family and left Gotham behind. So imagine his surprise when he is talked into visiting a bakery by Lian.

Tim Drake put his life as Red Robin behind him. He moved on beyond his heartbreak of losing his family and found a new one, or that is what he tells himself. When Jason Todd comes back into his life everything comes rushing back including his feelings for Jason.

Now that Jason has finally found Tim he doesn't plan on letting him slip through his fingers again and he is finally going to get a taste of what he has been dreaming of. Notes: This is a chapter story it will be four chapters using the first four days prompts for the JayTim week. This is also my first time writing JayTim.  Rating: it will be Mature It is also on AO3

"Hey, boss man we have another order for your mocha coffee cakes!" Owens announced as he entered the kitchen of the small bakery.

Tim Drake blinked at his friend and co-worker. "We have already sold out the ones I made this morning?" Tim knew that it was a hot seller but he didn't think they would sell out this early.

Owens grinned at Tim, taking delight in the flour that dusted his cheeks. "Yep," he made sure to pop the p in the way that he annoyed the other baker.

Pru glared at Owens, she knew he did that just because it made her eye twitch which it did. "If you bothered looking I just finished up another batch." She growled out.

Not at all effected by Pru's glare, Owens grinned at her, "Thanks, love." Picking up the new batch that had been off to the side cooling he exited through the swinging door and back out into the main part of the bakery.

Tim Drake shook his head if anyone told him five years ago that after saving Bruce from being lost in the timeline he had hung up his cape, left Gotham in the dust, and started over in San Francisco with his friends. It was completely Conner's fault that he opened up a bakery with three former assassins.

After saving Bruce Tim had found himself adrift from the those he once called family, his relationship with Dick had been torn to shreds by the actions before he left, Dick taking Robin from him, thinking he was crazy, suggesting that he go to Arkham and leading to his creditability being destroyed in the hero community. The only ones who believed him and stood by him where Conner, Bart, Cass, and Cassie after Conner talked to her.

Tim loved his brother, he truly did. Dick had been the first person to hug him and show him any kind of love to have it ripped away from him had left deep scars that still haven't healed. He thought Dick had truly thought of him as a brother but the moment Damian arrived it seemed that Dick had slowly begun replacing Tim with Damian. The fact that Dick never spoke up when Damian verbally and emotionally abused him, told him he wasn't wanted or part of the family and the fact that he stayed silent when Damian tried to kill him showed Tim how much he meant to Dick.

It hurt.

Tim had nothing left in Gotham and he had found a new family in Pru, Z, Owens and he had Conner, Cass, Cassie, Bart, Gar, and Raven. Tim might have lost the Bat-family but he had created a new family from those who cared for him, he was happy.

+*****+

Jason Todd grumbled under his breath, he couldn't believe that Kory had talked him into this. "It was a dirty trick using Lian like that." The famous and feared Red Hood brought down by a pair of doe-eyes and a sweet "Please Uncle Jay?"

Kory smiled sweetly as she turned her head to look at Jason from where she was walking ahead with Lian holding her hand and skipping along beside her. "You know I play to win, Jason."

Roy, Jason traitor of a best friend, just grinned as he flung his arm around Jason's shoulders. "Cheer up Jaybird. I heard this place is the bomb. It is like eating ambrosia itself."

Jason, who had learned to cook at the hands of Alfred Pennyworth very much doubted that. "I guess we'll see when we get there."

Roy could only shake his head, "Don't be such a food snob. Not everyone can compete with the great Alfred."

Jason had to admit that Roy had a point, "Fine I'll give this place a shot."

"I knew you would see it our way. If you didn't Lian was prepared to unleash her puppy eyes." Roy happily informed Jason who snarled at his friend smile.

So wrapped up no one noticed two sets of eyes watching them and widening when they realized where they were heading.

+*****+

Tim had just finished up his raspberry and chocolate scones that were sitting beside his chocolate-dipped strawberries ready to be taken out when a breeze blew his hair to one side. Tim let out a deep breath, he was used to Bart and Conner using their super speed to arrive at his shop. "Your stuff is its usual place."

"RedHoodStarfireRoyandLianareontheirwayhere," Bart informed Tim as he vibed in and out of his spot.

It took a second for Tim to understand Bart's words and when he did he turned a worrying shade of white.

It had been five years since he left and not one of the Bat-family but Cass had looked for him or reached out to him and now Jason Todd, Tim's Robin, his first crush was on his way here. "There has to be a mistake."

Conner, well aware of Tim's feelings for Jason shook his head. "Sorry man but we saw them with our own eyes. You don't have to see them just let Owens or Z deal with them."

Tim knew that his friends would do it without question but no he didn't want that. "No. This is my place and I am tired of hiding from them. It has been five years and while I doubt that Jason has come here actually looking for me, I want him and the others to know that I have moved on from them and they no longer have any power over me."

Conner couldn't help but grin, this was the Tim he remembers, his best friend who wouldn't let anyone walk over him. "You go! We have got your back!" Conner reassured him.

Bart nodded, "I mean I doubt we can take Red Hood but we will try." He promised.

Tim felt a smile appear on his face, he loves his friends, his family.

+*****+

"Robin's Sweets? Really?" Jason rolled his eyes, he did find it odd that the store colors were more in replacement's colors when he changed his suit to reflect on when he lost Conner.

Jason shoved the feeling of longing deep down, it had been five years since Tim disappeared from the family and Gotham after he saved Bruce. It took six months before anyone did anything. Dick had reached out to Gar and Raven of the Titans if they had seen Tim only for them to tell him that while they had Tim wanted nothing to do with them. Jason couldn't blame Tim, not after the way they treated him. Now that he was free of the pit madness he wanted nothing more to make amends with Tim. Only he couldn't find him. The only one in the family who had any clue as to where Tim was is Cass and she wasn't talking, everyone knew that Tim was her favorite.

"Brother hurt. Reach out when he wants to. Not push him."

Cass's words haunted Jason as he knew they did Dick and Bruce, he wasn't sure about Damian but the demon spawn had mellowed somewhat under Dick's teachings and he seemed to understand how he treated Tim was wrong.

All of them realized how they treated Tim was wrong. Dick carried a lot of guilt about what had happened when Bruce had been lost in the time stream. For the first year, Dick had swung from rage at himself to weepy over the fact that he lost Tim. He had gotten better but Jason knew that he still blamed himself for how he treated Tim.

Bruce, well he had shut down. Jason hadn't understood it until Alfred explained it to him.

"Master Tim was a light when Master Bruce needed it the most. Losing you sent him into a dark place and it was only Master Tim's arrival that pulled him out of it. Master Tim has done so much for this family and when he needed us the most we let him down. I let him down. I should have talked to Master Dick more when took Robin from him. I should have made sure he knew that he had my support."

Jason had never seen Alfred look so broken. It wasn't just Bruce who had lost his light so had Alfred, "Don't worry we will find baby bird and let him know how much we care about him."

Jason was pulled out of his thoughts when he was pulled into the bakery by Roy and he came to a complete stop.

The last thing Jason expected to see was three of Ra's elite assassins working the fucking counter. "What the hell are you three doing here?" Jason hissed, wishing that he had his guns and grateful that no one else was currently in the shop, he didn't want anyone to get hurt.

Kory recognizing Jason's tone gently pushed Lian behind her, ready to get her to safety if the need calls for it.

"What are you doing here Todd?" Z asked with a raised eyebrow.

"None of your freaking business." Jason made it his goal not to swear when Lian was around him.

Tensions began to rise but before anyone could do anything the long lost bird, the young man who haunted his dreams exited the kitchen with his two best friends behind him.

"Hold it! There will be no fighting in my shop!" Tim Drake growled out in his best Batman voice, one that demanded you listen to him and obey or he will kick your ass.

"Tim." Jason couldn't believe it after five long years Timothy Drake-Wayne was standing before him. Jason didn't care if Tim had dropped the Wayne from his last name he was still a Wayne and a part of the family.

"Hello, Jason." Tim could feel his heart pounding at the sight of his first love standing before him, the man he had never been able not to stop loving. "Z, you are in charge make sure that there is no fighting. Bart, get Lian the coloring books and crayons. Jason, you come with me." Tim turned on his heel and headed back into the kitchen.

Before Jason could move to follow him Conner appeared in front of him. "Hurt Tim and I will end you," Conner growled out.

Jason would admit, not out loud of course, that he was pretty impressed with Conner's guts. "I won't." He would do his best not to hurt Tim, not again.

Conner studied Jason for a few more seconds before he nodded and let Jason pass him.

Tim had his arms crossed his chest as Jason entered the kitchen. "So when can I expect the rest of the Bats to arrive?" Tim demanded to know, he wasn't sure if he was ready to see them again.

Despite the brave act he put on Jason could see a hint of fear in Tim's eyes. "They don't know you're here. Lian heard about this place and she used her doe-eyes to convince us to come here. I won't tell them you are here baby bird, that isn't my place." Jason promised and he felt his eyebrow raise when he saw a faint blush appear on Tim's face at the nickname. 'Interesting.' Jason would file that way for future use.

Letting out a sigh Tim ran his fingers through his hair, Jason never thought that he would be jealous of fingers. "I don't know why but I believe you. Come on let's join them before Lian has my employees wrapped around her little finger."

Jason let Tim go first and he found his eyes drawn to a certain part of Tim's body, he felt his mouth go dry at the way those tight jeans clung to Tim's body and highlight his ass, leaving little to the imagination and Jason had a very good imagination.

Exiting the kitchen Tim and Jason both smiled at the sight of Lian having taken command had everyone sitting around the table coloring.

Lian's face lit up at the sight of them, "Uncle Jason! Uncle Tim! Come join us!"

"You don't want to disappoint her, no do you baby bird?" Jason purred in Tim's ear as he passed him.

Tim hadn't even noticed when Jason had gotten that close to him and shivered as Jason's body brushed against his. Tim found his eyes drawn to Jason's thighs and licked his suddenly dry lips as he recalled his fantasies of riding those strong things. 'Nope now is not the time.' Tim firmly told himself as he moved to join them.

+*****+

Jason had to admit that Tim certainly knew what he was doing, "Alfred would be proud." He told Tim as he finished off the last of the caramel nut muffin he had ordered.

"Thank you." That was high praise to Tim.

"It was so good Uncle Tim," Lian added from where she was finishing up her warm brownie with ice cream, smears on chocolate on her face.

"Thank you, Lian." Tim could see why Lian had everyone wrapped around her little finger, she was adorable.

"Dude so good," Roy added as he finished off his blueberry scone.

Kory let out a moan of bliss as she finished off the last of her chocolate cheesecake, a sound that had almost everyone feeling envious of that cake.

"Yeah baby bird, we will be stopping by quite a bit while we are in the city," Jason vowed.

Tim could only stare at him, "You're staying for a while?"

Jason grin was pure sin as he leaned in closing the distance between them, "Oh yeah, there is something special I want to try but I plan on working my way up to it." Jason purred out.

Tim didn't know what to say as he watched Jason and his friends pay and then leave, he could feel the worried eyes of his friends on him. "I'm sure Jason didn't mean it. I bet they will be gone tomorrow." Tim ignored the pang in his heart at the thought of not seeing Jason again. 'No, it is for the best. Jason is part of my past that I have moved on from. It would be better if he left.'

+******+

Tim knew he was in trouble when he arrived at his bakery first thing in the morning to find Jason leaning against the wall, two cups of coffee in his hands, and a smirk on his handsome face.

"Hey baby bird, I told you I would be back." Jason wasn't leaving until he made amends with Tim and maybe got a taste of what he had been longing for.

[ty-talks-comics]

Best of DC: Week of February 12th, 2020

Best of this Week: Pennyworth R.I.P. One-Shot - James Tynion IV and Various Artists and Colorists

Some people think Dick Grayson is the glue that holds the Batfamily together, some say that it's really Tim Drake, but we all know that it has always been Alfred.

Alfred has been by Bruce's side since the day that Thomas and Martha Wayne were killed in Crime Alley. Alfred raised the boy from a young age and watched as he became a hero that Gotham City could truly be proud of. Alfred even got to see Bruce raise many kids of his own over the years and sas there to pick up the slack when Bruce was too injured, angry or didn't know how to talk to them. Alfred was patient. Alfred was loving. Alfred was amazing and will be sorely missed.

Alfred met his tragic end during the recent City of Bane arc and even after that wrapped up, it still took time for the rest of the family to get together and mourn his passing. Bruce has been trying to cope with it all by throwing himself into his Gotham Renovation Project and various superheroics. Barbara’s been dealing with her own issues in the form of a rogue Oracle. Damian has the Titans, Jason is on the outs with the family and Dick (Ric) doesn’t even really remember Alfred.

In the end, Bane managed to do what he set out to accomplish in the first place: He Broke the Bat.

Not only did he break Batman, he broke the entire family as a whole as shown from the very first shot of this book. Eddy Barrows presents us with a pulled out shot, showing a statue of Alfred in the middle of the new Alfred J. Pennyworth Children’s Hospital - a momentous honor meant to save kids just like Bruce. However, this scene also symbolizes the distance between all of the family. Tynion IV does a great job of scripting their inner thoughts as told by an unseen narrator.

Damian, being the one who was there, feels the weight of his disobedience and sees things as his fault. Tim hearkens back to the time after Jason died and fears for Bruce, knowing the darkness inside of him. Jason was told to NOT come, but Alfred had always treated him right and Barbara feels like she knows how to fix things, but who’s to say that she’s in the right mind to do so either? And Ric… well, Ric doesn’t know why he’s there, but he feels obligated.

Barrows does an amazing job of showing the pain through their forlorn expressions and lowered heads. I assume that Adriano Lucas was the one who colored these scenes because they make excellent use of cold blues to emphasize the sadness of the Family. Barrows also does something that a few artists struggle with in distinguishing each of the boys from each other. They each have distinct hairstyles and facial structures and it’s a nice touch for such a tragic event. Soon after, Tim finds a little dive bar for them to meet in and they each bicker a bit before Bruce arrives for toasts and memories.

This book also does an excellent job of showcasing personal moments that we never see between the kids and Alfred. Beginning with Damian, Chris Burnham draws a flashback to one of the first times that Alfred bails Damian out after he disobeys Batman about going out on patrols. Tynion IV and Burnham capture Damian’s early petulance through his childish pouting superiority complex. We see that Damian loved Alfred because he was willing to be patient with the young boy and Bruce was just getting used to having a trained assassin as a son. 

Damian is still widely considered the worst Robin, but that idea has long passed its expiration date as the young lad has grown significantly over the years. In the beginning he could have killed anyone and not felt a lick of remorse for it, but over time, thanks to the softening of Bruce and Alfred, the boy has learned to care and take responsibility for things that weren’t even his fault. He tears up thinking that the rest of the family blamed him for Alfred’s death and regrets that he didn’t do more to stop Bane before leaving the bar. 

Tim speaks next and Marcio Takara takes over art for Tim’s flashback. The third Robin is still arguably the smartest, but during a hectic fight with Firefly, he leaves some of his gear and Alfred bails him out by sneaking into the GCPD to retrieve the items. It’s very action packed and does well to show that sometimes Tim loses his cool too, but after the recollection, Tim says that he would step in for Alfred if Batman ASKS him to do so. When Bruce refuses, Tim makes a point that this is exactly like how Bruce was after Jason, but this time he has to pull himself through like an adult before he too leaves.

Tim is usually the Robin that’s touted as being the one who saved Batman during his most destructive period. He’s always been the level headed one, but in recent years he’s been put through the ringer. From being kidnapped by an unseen entity and thought dead for almost a year (Detective Comics, 2017), to fighting an alt-future, villainous version of himself (Detective Comics, 2018) and finally reuniting with his Young Justice friends and dealing with the chaos of that (Young Justice, 2019). Tim is tired and even more so of the darkness that shrouds Bruce and the Family.

Jaybird raises his glass to Alfred next and offers a counter to Tim. He says that maybe Batman would have worked out his issues after Jason’s death if a new kid didn’t swing in and just try to relieve him of the pain. Jason has always been the most extreme of the family, but he’s never been above asking Alfred for help. As a street urchin, Jason doesn’t trust most people, but despite this Alfred always thought to check up on Bruce’s second son and tried to bring him back to the side of the angels. Jason never bit, but he appreciated the effort.

He tells Barbara that he won’t chastise Bruce for how he feels because they’re all in that same spot right now, but he does want Bruce to work towards fixing it. Jason knows better than the rest of them what it feels like to have lost (Heroes in Crisis, 2018), but he also knows what it’s like to be there on the fringes with no one there to help.

Batgirl is often lost in the conversations that usually revolve around the boys, but she shouldn’t be. Barbara’s intellect exceeds that of Tim by a wide margin, but that intelligence also comes with an intuitiveness given to her by her father, James Gordon, as they live in the heart of Gotham. Barbara makes the most logical statement about the general fear swelling in Gotham after Bane’s rise and defeat and the lack of trust in Bat themed heroes given everything that The Batman Who Laughs has done. Bruce’s reconstruction project isn’t helping either as it’s just another shiny coat of paint over a city whose problems run down to its roots.

Babs may not have grown up in the mansion like the boys, but Alfred cared for her just the same, effectively being Batman’s first daughter...niece maybe the better description? David Lafuente does the art for her flashback and it’s a more cutesy style with thick defining lines and lots of faraway shots as we see Alfred and Barbara hiking up a mountain just outside of Gotham City. The actions of Killing Joke absolutely still happened and to celebrate the anniversary of Barbara leaving spine rehab, Alfred wanted to celebrate with a hike and a cupcake.Barbara says that they need Bruce to come back and be the person that they all need him to be before she leaves as well. 

Finally, we hear from Ric Grayson. The former Dick Grayson was another victim of Bane’s vendetta, getting shot in the head by the KGBeast in an attempt to further hurt Batman. Aside from his Flying Grayson memories and a few scant ones with Alfred and Bruce, he doesn’t remember his life as Nightwing, with the Titans or the rest of the Batfamily and that probably makes this book harder to swallow. Dick has always been the elder brother to each of them and truly is Batman’s voice of reason after Alfred, but Dick is gone. 

So Ric, knowing he needs to step up and say something to get Bruce to help himself, asks him to tell whatever story Dick Grayson might have if he were still around. Bruce then speaks up about a time where Dick found out that Alfred had been leaving flowers at the sight of the Waynes murder to celebrate the anniversary of their marriage where Bruce had been leaving flowers on the anniversary of their deaths. Dick tells Bruce that Alfred always wanted to tell him that their deaths had saved countless lives and even the world at times.

It’s grim and kinda dark, but in the grand scheme of things, Ric is right. Batman has given everything he can to the world under his mission of Justice and that never would have happened if the Waynes survived, just look at Batman: The Gift (Batman #45 - #47, 2018). In that timeline, the Waynes did survive and it was a nightmare world where crime was rampant, Dick was crazed Batman like Flashpoint Thomas Wayne and everything was just wrong. Ric may not have known all of tht, but he did know that Alfred was right and that Bruce needed to be strong for him.

Before Ric leaves, he hangs a picture on the bar wall while Tynion IV and Barrows convey the emotional impact of Ric’s act through four panels without dialogue. Bruce looks at the picture and not only can readers feel the tears swelling up in the corners of their eyes, but we almost feel as if Bruce is as well as he stars upon a picture of the core Batfamily with Alfred as the focus between them.

I’m not gonna lie, I don’t know if I’m emotionally ready to deal with a Batman future without Alfred. He’s always been such a faithful companion and foil to our dour hero and his passing has only made Batman that much darker. The cynic in me knows that DC Won’t keep him dead forever, especially with an incoming Crisis that may undo everything from the last four years of storytelling, but at the same time it might not. I think the idea to kill Alfred was a good one to create awesome moments like it did in this book, but who will take his place?

Could this really be Tim’s time to step away from the masks and go behind the scenes like Oracle did? Could Alfred’s daughter, Julia, see a return since she hasn’t been seen since I think All Star Batman in 2016? Will Lucius Fox actually stay in the position as he’s there now in Detective Comics? Who knows?

All that matters is the life of Alfred and the mark he left on our favorite characters.

Also, support me on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TyTalksComics

[awkwardbluefish]

Cake to the Hood

A/n - Happy Birthday Jason Todd!

Warning: Swearing

—

“Okay, what the hell was that for?” Jason demands, voice going from electronic to his familiar Gothamnite drawl as fingers catch on the latch and pull the hood off. He had just cleaned it yesterday damnit, a whole damn hour getting rid of boot marks and muck off the surface and then dickface throws a fuckin’ cake at it! He was so dead once Jason wiped the white frosting off it.

Dick merely cackles, falling through Jason’s window like a bloody pretzel and crashing into Jason’s ankles. He’s tempted to stomp on his head but then he’d have to clean his boots too and he isn’t about to force more labour onto himself even if it was technically Dick’s fault.

Only when he manages to stop laughing like a hyena and slapping cream carpeted floor like a seal, does Dick finally answer. The bastard. “Guess!” He chirps, rolling onto his back so he can successfully pull off the domino still attached to his cheek bones.

Jason sends him a scowl, dropping the cake ridden hood at his brothers face and lips twitching down further when the bastard merely catches it. Dick sends him a grin, hugging the helmet to his chest like some form of a teddy bear, smearing frothy icing on biceps. The fucker was way too cheerful for a black eye and a bruising cheek. Vaguely he wonders if he could get away with giving the bastard matching panda eyes. Now that would be good payback.

He’s done many things to deserve revenge, but a cake being thrown at him? That was just plain weird. He’s broken bones, teased the younger brats mercilessly. He’s also ate all of Dick’s cereal out of pure spite yesterday. Even the lucky charms. Jason hates lucky charms. He doesn’t think Dick knows that just yet though. “Payback for eating your freakishly large cereal collection.”

Dick goes eerily still and Jason is most probably going to die, again, but it was worth it for his reaction. Slowly Dick stretches to a stand, no longer hugging the hood and appearing to hold it as a potentially flying projectile instead. Ocean blue eyes glare into forest green and Jason genuinely feels a stab of fear flow through his veins.

“Your lucky today is special. Really lucky.” If this is how Nightwing becomes a villain Jason wants credit.

He blinks as Dick does a 180 with a shake of his head and is suddenly grinning, tossing him back his hood. He’ll need to vacuum later; the sprinkles have gotten everywhere. He huffs, snatches the oiled rag hanging by the window. It was a handy place to keep it, surprisingly.

“So ya throw a perfectly edible cake at my helmet that I could’ve eaten? Ya fuckin’ serious right now? Could’ve just told me to take it off, at least I’d actually get ta fuckin’ eat it then.” Jason grumbles, scrubbing at the frosting stuck in the little nooks of the scratches and the camouflaged kinks on the side. “What’s so special that you had to throw a fuckin’ cake at me in three in the morning’ anyway? Jesus bigwing.”

With as much of the cake scraped off as possible, he decides chucking the oil ridden rag at the idiot in front of him is the next best action. Again, infuriatingly, Dick catches it with a small grin that was slightly bemused. What wasn’t Jason getting now?

“Really?” Dick asks, looking fondly exasperated. Gross. Jason gives him a look and Dickface looks absolutely delighted. Jason’s too late to abort the mission. “Oh my god, you’re just like Babybird!” He exclaims, squealing and flapping his arms up and down. Jason blinks.

“And how am I like that caffeine addict exactly?” Jason demands, gently laying his hood on the coffee table beside his couch. It’s the top floor. No one would see.

“Timmy always forgets his birthdays.” Dick teases and Jason blinks. That’s not what he was expecting.

“It is not my birthday.” Jason states simply.

Dick shakes his head, biting his bottom lip with his teeth to supress the obnoxious grin. “It’s definitely your birthday.”

“Give me a calendar.” Jason demands, he’s tired and he smells like cake and smoke. He needs a shower. He just needs to prove the fucker wrong and he can finally go get some well needed asleep.

Dick happily complies, messing with his gauntlet. A second later and a blue holographic screen lights up the tiny apartment. Hadn’t they switched the lights on? Considering they were still two centimetres from the open window pumping chemical fumes into his tiny safehouse, Jason would take that as a no.

“It’s not and I will prove it to you,” Jason mumbles, eyeing the screen. He blinks. “Oh. Never mind. Happy Birthday to me.”

A wheeze of air escapes his older brothers’ lips, stomach tensing with strain before bubbles of laughter tears through the air. Jason’s stomach coils with warmth before ice carves its way through his veins. With a flick, the lights are on. Dick and Jason hadn’t moved though, someone was in his house. Fuck he was getting rusty. A warm palm cups the back of his neck, puffs of air brushing against a brown jacket as warm laughter and chatter arises from behind them. He resists rolling his eyes, instead hip bumping the laughing form away to turn and greet his guests. A head is quickly dug its way between his shoulder blades as Dick absolutely fails to get himself together.

Damian is sitting on the back of the lime green couch, a frown on his lips but the furrowed brow crinkled in amusement gives him away. Stephanie is cackling, her shoulders shaking in mirth, white pearly teeth stained orange with the cheezles between her lips. Barbara’s emerald eyes catch on his forest green ones, a smile pulling at glossed lips while pulling a striped plastic bag onto her lap. Cass makes the first move though, gracefully leveling herself to her feet from the crisscrossed form on the carpet, a warm arm wrapping around his waist as another pushes their older brother away. Soft lips press against his cheek, completely ignoring the stubble lingering there from yesterdays’ shave. Jason rakes his hand through the charcoal hair, belly rumbling with a chuckle or two as she leans into the touch.

“Did the stakeout mess with your head that much?” Tim asks and Jason scowls at the boy nestled on his beanbag, Alfred’s cotton stitched blanket woven over bony shoulders. How hadn’t he heard the babybird? Beanbags are far from quiet after all. If anyone asks, he blames the non-existent cake crammed in his ears.

“Don’t be mean to the birthday boy!” Dick butts in, expertly dodging around Cass’ frame to snap on a party hat on Jason’s head. At least it isn’t black, he decides as the neon green seems to glow in the dim lighting. Tim rolls his eyes, lips pulling up with that rare small smile of his. Jason doesn’t smile back, but it’s a close thing.

“Yeah,” Jason puffs out his chest with a smirk, “don’t mess with the birthday boy.”

Cassandra squeezes his waist as Damian groans and rolls his eyes. The boy lets gravity take him, falling forward onto the cushions below, limbs bouncing with the impact. Robins, dramatic little birds. Jason would know. Stephanie snickers, stuffing one more sugar coated junk into her mouth before full on prancing the one metre to poke and prod at the boy.

“I hate you.” Tim decides, no heat behind his words. Jason detangles himself from Cass hug, placing a chaste kiss to her forehead before striding over to plonk himself onto the boy, grinning with his teeth at the distressed noise the boy manages to squeak out in a gasping breath. Jason merely smirks as fingers dig into his jacket, palms pushing against back muscles. They both now if Tim really didn’t want to be sat on, he wouldn’t be.

Ding.

Dick pauses messing about with placing plastic cups and parcels on the coffee table, straitening up with a grin. Jason watches bemused, wiggling to get comfortable on Tim’s stomach as Dick yanks the door open, basically throwing Duke inside. Alfred and Bruce stride in much more gracefully, a small smile on both of their lips.

“Happy birthday, Master Jason.” Alfred says, two bulging plastic bags placed gently by Barbara’s feet near the coffee table. Jason ducks, smiling to himself at the mans fond expression. Alfred simply smiles at the top of his head and Jason feels no guilt wiggling forcefully down onto the laughing boy underneath him. It was his birthday and yet these shits were taking the micky out of him. The bastards, Jason thinks fondly. A cool hand pats his cheek and Jason stops his withering, pausing to grin at his grandfather and to accept the kiss to his hairline.

Bruce pats Alfred’s shoulder in passing, raising a brow at Tim’s undignified squawk as Jason digs an elbow to his side. He doesn’t say anything though, a smile teasing at his lips. Jason hears Bruce’s knees crack before seeing the older man kneeling. A hand brushes through his locks, blunt nails scratching at his scalp.

“Happy birthday, chum.” Bruce murmurs and his voice is so soft, so fond that Jason doesn’t really know what to do. When all else fails diversion is the next best step. He is not dealing with mushy feelings right now.

“Look, all of this is nice and all but if anyone throws a perfectly edible cake at me again, I will become a cannibal so I can eat something.”