#fckin outrageous

[coulsonlives]

Book burners who shame people for writing or rping incest is like, straight-up kinkshaming. These people are probably too sheltered to realize it, but do they realize how much porn is based on mommy, daddy, or sibling kinks?

By that logic you're basically saying we should ban pornhub lmfao, and lemme tell you: that's not a good look.

[dylaissante]

need a 5 part docuseries on how bob dylan was able to pull the baddest bitches of all time

[pondslime]

I was watching this youtube reaction to House of Wax and one of the guys pointed out that Bo had a whoopi cushion on his trucks dashboard and I havent stopped thinking of it since

RJFSDKJSDFKJKFSDJKFDSJ

are we talkin about this thing jfdhhfdjfhdjfds

SCREAMING!!!! I always figured it was a balled-up t-shirt or a rag or a cap but the idea of it bein a whoopie cushion is SO fckin funny hfsjdhfsdjhfsdjhjfsd 💀

also look @ that up-to-date registration sticker. boy rocked out to the baton rouge dmv to get his shit all legal. law-abiding citizen. maybe he really WILL be cawlin the cawps!!!!!

he is SO cartoon character-coded 😔

u could overlay this over EVERY single one of his scenes and nothing abt the movie nor his character would change:

this is what his brain sounds like @ all moments of every goddamn day

imagine him heehawing alone in his truck to the mere THOUGHT of leavin a whoopie cushion on the seat for some unsuspecting bitch to sit on. tryin to work a whoopie cushion into his sad weird backstory that he's gonna dump on the next batch of hapless ambrose victims. how trudy n vincent were traveling circus performers and a whoopie cushion was their downfall.........how the whole town could hear the whoopie cushion wheezin' all the way up @ the house.........

just laughin 2 himself. thinkin this is TRULY the mastermind comedic snl roast comedy central looney tunes bingo bongo joke of all time.

getting OUTRAGEOUSLY mad when he gets into his truck later and someone has placed it on his seat, tossin the joke in his face. he accuses lester and holds a grudge abt it for years. bc this was his goofy ahhh sillyboy moment!!!! how dare u clown on him when he's the court jester king supreme!!!

vincent was the one who did it. he will never find that out.

[bambambunny]

Finally getting around to watching clone wars and i fckin hate that i care about the clones. Im so used to just brushing off every death that happens but i just saw some poor bastard called Cutup get eaten by an eel and i just have to get on with my life? How dare a war have death. This is outragous, its unfair i say!

[grinsepobacke-pics]

if I’ve ever have a date again I’ll tell that person if the make me outrageous or this convo gets boring I mean I’ve always be honest but I’d be brutally honest from now on I won’t put a single effort in them liking me and when I want to feel balanced and happy and not listening to them I won’t they should make a bit of effort too, idgaf yes ofc the next person it isn’t their fault that others were fcked up but who the fck is kidding here?! Somehow EVERYBODY WAS the same I’m so SO fckin unique I won’t let them talk to me like I’m ordinary anymore I know they don’t know me but they should fckin bow even to talk to me I WILL have that attitude now and still be my cute and pure and authentic and lovely self, without being arrogant I will just put them in place with my guards fckin high!!!!!! Y’all I was never naive ever but my glass ha full full

[goodieghostyarchive]

The Matchmaker

Sure she'll find you your soulmate-for a price "to find something precious you must first give something precious"

She has a reputation for being kooky and will match random centaurs up for laughs, but those that she does match up truthfully end up having the strongest of bonds. She often turns many centaurs away if she deems them unready, but especially if they're only looking for a romance. "Soulmates come in all shapes, sizes, and ways. Some may have many, others few. Some soulmates are friends, brothers in arms-not all are romantic. And they come and go, changing, changing you. Making you, You. The You worthy of that Love of which you seek. If I guide you there now, when you are not ready, you will lose them."

Anyways, backstory and spoilers for s2 below

This is her before her slow descent, she went by Cukid

After her best friend/crush made himself n o t a centaur and split himself into two bodies, she was one of the few to know, because he entrusted her with burning the evidence of his plans. Ofc s h e thought it was insane but couldn't talk him out of it and they had a huge fight that involved her saying "This isn't love this is a last resort!" And h e really went "And what would you know about love?"

To her, knowing damn well she's training to be a love shaman a n d that her special ability just happens to be seeing people's soulmates(and not just romantic soulmates but she'll only realize that later), just not her own-or so she thinks.

In the end she agrees and whoop, she waits by the rift for so long until she starts throwing herself into her work and studies. Eventually when she's stronger she finds a way to use his old antlers that the mf cut off to be able to see where he is but the vision is split into two and that's when she learns he's been split into two different beings and o n e of them is currently trapped in a dungeon.

Rescue mission ends horribly after she tries to convince the human counterpart to release the elk counterpart and threatens to tell his wife and everyone else the truth. Mf ended up blinding her(ooo love is blind afterall lol)and her magic just went fckin bonkers and she had to flee back to the rift, half blind and outraged. Spent ten years slowly going mad over the loss and betrayal. Would periodically check in on her elk friend via his antlers and saw him becoming the Nowhere King, she thought if she had just tried harder he would still be his usual, centaur, self. And she would still have him around as her best friend. She also despises humans. Okay that's it

[merlinhurricane]

Oo! I finally got a prompt idea! first I was thinking a basic coffee shop au for shiniida (since you made me ship them) but then I thought iida probably wouldn’t work in a coffee shop (“somethin somethin *waves hand around* coffee health somethin”) so he probably ACTUALLY works in one of those juice places that are all natural and put kale in your drinks and sleep deprived shinsou stumbled inside and asked for a black coffee and couldn’t understand why the cute barista was giving him that look

oooooh, yes!! thank you, luv. please keep em coming!!

(tags: shiniida, college au, no quirks au, swearing, iida is no mere barista—he’s a fckin Manager check yoself, multiple POVs bc i Can’t Not)

***

Hitoshi didn’t understand what was happening. Why was this man staring at him like he had a third head? Second head, whatever. Jesus, he was tired.

“Sir, we don’t serve coffee,” came the insistent voice behind the counter.

“Why the fuck not?” Hitoshi’s glared blearily at him, eyes burning. What kind of place didn’t serve coffee? Especially a place called “Pep Up”. What was peppier than fucking coffee?

His outrage and confusion must have shown in his eyes because the hapless employee rattled off an explanation about natural and organic juices and healthy body supplements. Hitoshi didn’t need any of that. Rubbing his temples and trying to get the world to come into better focus, he groaned. “Okay, you’re my last resort. Can you just, like, talk to your manager and see if you can rustle up some caffeine for me? I’ll pay extra. Please,” he begged. The prospect of walking further away from campus in search of actual coffee was a daunting one.

“I am the manager.” The man before him affirmed. “And I can assure you we do not have anything caffeinated. Not only does caffeine create a mild dependancy but it is also a diuretic and can have lasting consequences if imbibed on a daily basis.”

“Mm-hm, delicious consequences,” Hitoshi murmured, causing the manager to stiffen in what Hitoshi assumed was disapproval.

“Indeed.” The manager sighed. “I suspect more than caffeine or any kind of energy supplement—” Hitoshi brightened at the word “energy”—“you simply need sleep.”

Hitoshi forced out a hollow laugh and attempted once more to bring the broad shop manager into focus. The lights in here were too harsh, the colors too bright. He should have known it wasn’t a coffee shop. Just about ready to give up on this place and try elsewhere, he turned toward the door.

Somewhere between the decision to leave and the execution, however, there was a disconnect. Instead, he found himself staring at a display right next to the door. It was full of oddly shaped bottles in an eye-searing shade of orange. He suspected he would’ve stayed in that exact spot for even longer if something cold hadn’t been pressed into his hand, nearly giving him a heart attack.

“Wha?” He instinctively shoved away the cold, despite it actually being a bit of a relief to his warm, probably dehydrated skin.

To his surprise the cold lingered, along with an amused huff of air against his cheek. Hitoshi looked up to see Mr. Manager. Dear god, he was pretty. Shoulders for miles, square jaw, baby blues, an undercut—he would have been too overtly gorgeous for Hitoshi to even consider if it weren’t for the glasses (he had a weakness for them) softening his look and the fact that the guy was literally holding Hitoshi’s hand wrapped around a plastic cup of smoothie to keep him from dropping it. “Uhh.”

The smoothie was bright green. Why did everything have to be so bright?

“Kale-kiwi mix.” The manager explained, dropping his hand once he was sure Hitoshi had a good grasp of the thing. “With some other stuff. It’ll help you sleep.”

Hitoshi snorted. Sure, this guy was hot, but Ryan friggin Gosling could’ve handed him this smoothie, and he still would’ve been skeptical about the results. Still... “How much do I owe you?”

The man smiled, a sharp, bright slice of white in his ridiculously handsome face. Oh no. “Free of charge. That’s not even on the menu, so it doesn’t have a price. Just, do me a favor and recycle the cup, okay?” He paused for a moment, mouth curling into an enchanting moue of consideration. Oh no. “Maybe after you get some sleep.”

Dazed, exhausted, and utterly smitten, Hitoshi nodded and wobbled out the door into the night, sipping on his definitely-not-coffee.

***

Hitoshi made it home...somehow. He remembered the streetlights stringing long squiggling tails of illumination across his vision, and that was his Stage 3 sleep deprivation indicator. He was sincerely lucky he hadn’t passed out on the walk back to his place.

On the counter sat his nearly finished smoothie. It had been surprisingly tasty, though the thickness made it feel necessary to drink water before he brushed his teeth and collapsed into bed. He was feeling surprisingly well-rested. At least, he assumed this is what “well-rested” felt like, since he couldn’t recall ever experiencing it before.

Snorting at his sardonic thoughts, he moved to throw away the cup before remembering what the hot manager had said. Technically, he didn’t have to acquiesce to his request—Hitoshi didn’t even have a recycling bin in his apartment. Still, the guy had put up with Hitoshi at Stage 3 and hadn’t even charged him for the damn drink. The least he could do was not fuck up the earth with one damn plastic cup.

Campus probably had some recycling bins, and he had to hit the library to finish his project anyway. Tucking the near-empty cup into the elastic cupholder on his bag, he began the trek to campus.

About halfway there, he realized he’d forgotten to make cis morning coffee. Him. Forgetting coffee. What was the world coming to?

Already mourning the lack of caffeine buzz he’d have later, he stopped in front of the library bins. A list of accepted recyclables and their corresponding numbers wwas posted above the special recycling receptacle. Sighing, Hitoshi pulled out the smoothie cup and checked the bottom for a number, then immediately got distracted.

On the bottom of the cup, written in fine black sharpie was a phone number along with “Pep Up and call me. :)”

***

Tenya had evening shift again, and as he walked in that afternoon, he couldn’t help but be apprehensive. It had been a long time since he’d given out his number, and the few times he had done it this way in the past year, none had used it. Whether that was because they were heathens who didn’t recycle or check the recycling number before they did or if they simply weren’t interested, he didn—couldn’t know. And that was the way he liked it.

The stunned and exhausted man from yesterday had caught his eye first because he was acting...odd. Tenya had watched him standing outside the glass double doors, staring up at the shop’s sign as if it was the best thing he’d ever seen. As if it were a candle and he were the moth. When he’d finally gotten inside, he’d continued to watch as the man’s eyes flitted around the room, intelligence and exhaustion shining there in roughly equal measure. He was built like a rock-climber—slim, tall, long arms and legs, and a bit hungry-looking. Tenya had a history with that look. Tenya would be willing to rewrite history for that look.

Going by the bulging bag and air of stress coming off him in waves, he was likely a student at the local university. When he finally approached the counter, Tenya met a set of pale, violet eyes and lost his train of thought entirely. Thankfully, the man was definitely too out-of-it to notice. He smelled like a combination of moss and coffee, so it was no surprise that he was looking to obtain some of the latter.

Despite his clearly tired state and the shortness of the conversation, he’d managed to make Tenya laugh more than once. What would he be like when he was firing on all cylinders? Tenya wanted to find out.

“You’re a cheeky bastard, aren’t you?” A voice shook him from his reverie, drawing his gaze to the front doors, propped open at the moment to let in both the afternoon breeze and the very man who had been occupying Tenya’s thoughts. A pity his words weren’t more...encouraging, though. He sighed.

The man was shaking a grimy plastic cup in his fist even as he walked up to the counter to confront Tenya. He was amused to see that the guy’s hair stood on end just as much now as it had when he’d first appeared in the shop—which was mostly empty right now, thankfully. He was manning the counter while the current barista was on break. He met those lovely, startling eyes head-on. Time to get this over with then. “I apologize for having offended you.” Why couldn’t he have just ignored his advance and moved on like everyone else? Tenya thought sourly.

“The only thing I’m offended by is your lack of faith in me.” The man’s face was still adorned with dark smears beneath his eyes that nearly matched the irises in color, but his face was more mobile, his voice and gestures more lively. “Telling me to sleep before attempting to throw something away doesn’t show a lot of confidence in my cognitive abilities. Kind of a slap in the face.”

Tenya knew the feeling. “And yet here you are, presumably having slept and still holding a dirty cup,” he commented, voice dry and throat drier. Had he not seen the number then? “You do know you’re supposed to wash them before recycling, right?”

“Who has time for that?” He complained.

“Who carries an empty cup around with them all day just for the sake of argument?” Tenya countered.

The man was just as quick to respond. “Who writes their number on the bottom of the cup? How’s that strategy been working out for you?”

Tenya remained silent for a moment. So he’d definitely seen the number. “...what is this about?”

“Mostly wanted to apologize for probably acting crazy last night. And to thank you. For this.” He held up the cup. It was still frustratingly unclear whether he meant the drink or the number.

Tenya took a chance. “You could’ve just called me.”

He was rewarded with a crooked smile. “Truth be told, I also wanted to make sure I hadn’t hallucinated you.” He leaned against the counter. “You seem like the kind of guy that only exists in my imagination.”

Tenya flushed and looked away to hide how pleased he was. “You’re ridiculous.”

The man just grinned wider and bent over the counter to read his name tag. “Tenya, huh? I’m Hitoshi. Can I buy you a drink?”

—End—

***

[dancing-cockroaches]

My high school bully.

I mentioned in my earlier post that I’d post something about this, so here it is.

I didn’t go to district high school so I didn’t really have to deal with bullies all that much. Literally you could be as ridiculous as you want, carry around a teddy bear and wear kitten ears (I honestly plead guilty to doing this), and every other kid would look at you and just think “sure you’re kinda weird, but I sorta have to deal with the fact I really fucking hate my life so I’ll leave you to it”.

Of course, some kids liked to be assholes but it was never really an issue.

That is, until I entered 12th grade. Now, I went to a school program that had a looooooot of locations. You were placed in a school based on your location and severity of your problem. The location I was put in 12th grade was actually in the building of a rather large district high school. This location was for students that the program thought was “stable” enough.

So, being from the location I was prior (I was literally the only kid from that location since it was sorta for kids with more “severe” issues), I even got a lot of shit/doubt from the guidance counselors, teachers, even principal.

Aside from that, there was this one kid. He was a pain in the neck, that jackass. Now, I don’t give a shit if anyone says any shit about me. Literally no fucks given. Only reason I got involved with him was because he was saying shit about other students. And like the white knight I think I am, I tried standing up for them.

What pissed me off the most about this kid was how much he was able to get away with. To my knowledge he’s done some messed up shit, people claimed he told middle schoolers to kill themselves and he made fun of people with depression in an extremely terrible way.

It came to a point where cops started to get involved, but they didn’t have enough evidence to really do anything (it was either that or the school didn’t know another location to put him, which was the dumbest fckin excuse like there’s at least 5 other locations, pick one goddamn)

Well, here my dumbass comes in. I try standing up for some one, and he pushes me away. I run off like a pussy, he spreads rumors that I wanted to punch him or I did punch him or he wants to fight me, dumb shit like that I’m not sure but yet again I didn’t give a fuck.

This is also when he done goofs. You know Mean Girls? Well, he made a “burn book” with every kid in it. The weird thing was, he wasn’t secretive about it or even treated it that maliciously, he’d just give it to people like “lol here I wrote this hurdur”.

Like I said in a past post, there was only like 9 other girls in the program and one of them (who he sorta had a thing for) got a hold of it (just by asking for it).

She brought it to girls group (this day it was only me, her, and some other girl mentioned in the book). I also mentioned in past posts these girls in my school were hardcore third wave feminists. So yeah, you can sorta visualize/imagine how they reacted.

Anyway, they got like a sentence worth of mentions in the book. All it pretty much said for one girl “she looks sooo hot but she’s kinda emo so ew” and it just said like one thing about the other girl being fat or something I don’t remember, wasn’t that outrageous but my fucking god the girls lost their shit like “OMGGG I FEEL IN SUUUUCH DANGERR”

BRUH

You know what I got?

3 pages of death threats.

3

Pages.

I honestly laughed because his emo joke game was weak. “I bet she gets razors for Christmas and bleach for her birthday” and “she wears bracelets and gloves to cover her cuts” (*SIRENS BLARE* OH SHIIYEEET I WAS EXPOSED DAYUUUUUM) and a bunch of other descriptions of how he wants to kill me and ways I should kill myself, nothing E D G Y enough to remember vividly.

Like the jokes were so bad it honestly made my year. My god. He ended up getting kicked out for the descriptive death threats, but it gave me a chuckle.

[allospiderman]

Hey, I’m a bisexual (I think) girl. What’s with all the hate on straight women? You support gay men, so why do you dislike straight women? I understand disliking homophobic and transphobic people, but there are a lot of great straight women. Feel free to block me, but I just sincerely wanted to know.

Normally I wouldn’t even reply to an ask like this, but this one only like the 3rd one who isn’t anon and I’m in a good mood so. Here we go. I don’t dislike straight women. I’m scared of straight people. I’m genuinely terrified of any of them ever finding out that I’m a lesbian. Why? Because I know what they’re like.Interesting how, when I was in a room with 5 straight girls and 2 dudes, all of them were talking about gay people as if they weren’t even human. People who I’ve known for years. People who I wanted to come out to for a while now, people who pretend to be allies until they discover the other person isn’t an ally and they can talk shit with them. People who I’m out to and still say stuff like “I don’t want my kids watching Andi Mack because I want them to grow up seeing the normal lifestyle and if later they decide to be gay then they’ll watch faggot shit all they want”. Now, I’ve heard 99% of the people I know talk about LGBT folk this way - the even worse thing is, when I told my bi friend, who’s pretty much out to everyone, about all the disgusting stuff our “friends” said that night, she was completely outraged, and told me that to her they all said that they were supportive, accepting, that they wanted gay marriage to be legalized etc. Which just proves that straight people will lie to your face and stab you in the back and make you feel unsafe , make you feel like your actual life is in danger and say shit like “I want all fags who ever went to pride to fucking die”. Straight people are terrible because no matter what, they’ll never, ever, ever understand what it’s like to be non-straight. They’ll never know what it feels like when others talk about some aspect of you that you were born with as if it was a deadly sin, saying everyone born that way should die. They’ll never be afraid to hold their loved one’s hand, to marry them, to kiss them on the street. They’ll never know what it’s like to be considered “abnormal” by pretty much everyone.Ps Yes I know this seems like I’m judging them by one event that happened in the past but trust me if I attempted to even list all the occasions we’d be here all night.Ps2 for the love of God don't bring race into this. When I last posted something like this ppl started going "ahA! I bet you hate poc too!!" No. I'm biracial. Stop bringing race into posts about sexuality.(Feel free to reblog/add on, this post is fckin long so don’t start a discourse.)

[blackkatmagic]

(opsYamanakabb!Deidara anon no longer in anon bc i hAVE GROWN TIRED OF BREAKIN DOWN ASKS)

GOSH im SO flattered you liked it so much i mean ..

anyways, i have resurfaced bc… well i thought of another thing? err

.

alright so backing up: on the road so far, inoshikacho plus sai have gone into a long and arduous mission of setting the long past wrongs into rights which means finding YAMANAKA deidara and i dunno actually doing sth about it?? and also somehow they acquired hidan for the trip back ??

so, what ive got is this: dei is probably super uncomfortable?? bc in one hand there is ino wanting to bond??? on the other is cho who is an actual legit cinnamon roll???? and to top it off the other one keeps eyeing him weird???? (shika cannot stop staring omfg and to think theres ppl out there callin him a genius) dei can feel himself becoming defensive!! aggressive defensive!!!! (like obvs the best defense is an attack?? or sth)

and so there is two. dei and hidan actually get into a lot of fights bc they just cant rlly understand each other– i mean w deis thing bein ‘momentary’ whats exactly the point of bein immortal?? where is the fun in that??? (hidan can totally show him the fun in that)

also surprisingly dei and sai get along quite well?? (i mean when hidan isnt hogging sai) they are artistic bros?? in so short a time?? (as the only person w common sense at this point, cho is keepin a careful eye from afar– surely the fact that sai gets along so well w the missing nin is vaguely concerning??)

*BREAK POINT**FORWARD A LOT*

so hidan is just chillin in konoha like ?? there is literally nothin they can do to him to make him care?? he is clearly superior™

anyway, hidan is chillin in konoha and somehow he overhears the true akatsuki plan (or he believes in conspiracy theorist sai so they have a headstart) and he is like outrageously offended!!! WHAT DO YOU FCKIN MEAN I H AVE BEEN WORKIN FOR SOME OTHER GOD?!?!?!! so clearly the only solution is to destroy akatsuki just annihilate everything there is no other option

so hidan goes on the warpath like THOSE FUCKERS THINK THEY ARE IMMORTAL I WILL FUCKING SHOW THEM IMMORTAL

or (fair warning, this is v crack now i mean)

hidan decides to be petty af and grabs sai to make the ultimate plan

(i actually havent watched shippuden soo might be a bit of on the execution for this one buut)

and so they go to the big ass statue and somehow they do magic bullshit fuuinjutsu stuff

and like in the climax of everything w the thing is ready to be activated and everyone is nOOooO

MOTHERFUCKER HIDAN POPS OUT LIKE LAUGHING YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD SEEN THE LAST OF ME BITCHES

and turns out hidan and his sidekick sai changed the thing so instead of liberating that rabbit moon goddess (??) the thing is now set to actually summon THE GREAT JASHIN-SAMA

everyone is speechless?? like ???? actual plot twist

hidan starts the thing

hidan is also bragging bc obvs he would be bragging

n some konoha nin (shika?? naru?? probs naru) turns to sai all what were you thinkin??!?! and sai be like i know it looks bad but– *konoha nin goes to save the day*

but the thing already started right? so they dont make it in time and the thing shakes the grounds shakes everything lights up like a goddamn light show annd–

it just… stops

everything goes back to normal like nothin to see here bruh and….

everyone suddenly becomes 1000% more suspicious bc where the fuck did it all go? 

to turns matters worse hidan starts laughing like a lunatic ?? sai goes to retrieve him– hidan needs his alone time now

and it takes months upon months before people start relaxing and a new meme starts as in jashinists rlly do get you all worked up but?? they just cant deliver amirite (obvs when hidan is not around bc he is still a psycho i mean)

and sai just shakes his head.. he only agreed to help bc he knew nothing would happen like bloodshed war rage and muder.. they are all already in the great era of jashin

(what hidan did was like prolong it for more years upon years to come)

.

maan what a ride

[myspaceinfluencer]

I wish you all could've seen me like zooming around on this fckin motorbike with that guy last night LMAO it was so fcking outrageous, he was literally driving like milla jovovich in resident evil 2 and I was just holding on to him like for dear life lmfao it was so incredibly....daring

[ceeberoni]

doodled bayonetta on sketchtoy cuz t just beat it today! honestly i fckin love this game even if its like OUTRAGEOUSLY fucky

[katzcats]

like tbh ajisai is heaps easier to say than hydrangea so like that's probably why people in Japan like it so much more bc it's literally "purple sunshine" and who tf doesn't like the sound of that? Seriously wtf is a hydrangea. Is it a water dragon? Is it a type of wine? Is it a disease?????? No one can tell just from the name, it's fckin latin! I'm outraged!!! English get it together holy shit #realissues

[grinsepobacke-pics]

I kept telling myself how fckin ugly I am and what of an outrageous ick I would’ve got if I saw myself if I’d be a guy the second time I was working out today, everytime before I was busting into crying I was working out even harder. I’m always sweet to myself and talk nicely but today I was 100% honest and no matter what anyone says and I know comparison is the worst but at these days woman r adorable they r goddesses and I can do whatever the fck I want I’ll never look good. I don’t need any comment on this I want to be 100% honest kn my blog for future purposes to have an honest kind of diary. That’s it. Good night