#submission by hlflores

[blackkatmagic]

Submission: .... about that one fic of naga prince!Oro and now dad of two!Sakumo

*chucks this at your face* *shuffles out of view*

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oOoOoOo

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If Sakumo were younger, brasher still and basking in the glory of his conquests, he would pack himself to battle and finish what was started nine years ago.

But his days of strutting around and seeking worth fights are over, he can’t just go, much as his heart demands him to do, because Sakumo has Kakashi, and Kakashi somehow got Obito, so now– well, now he has children to look after. Children to grow and nurture and he can’t get himself killed, can’t brave unknown dangers and leave them all alone in the world.

Sakumo remembers well the heavy syrup pressure of the ominous power of the naga prince, remembers Orochimaru in his prime, and whatever it is that is enough to trap such a creature is something to be taken with due severity.

He can’t foolishly believe just his love for the other man and a sword in his hand is enough to save him, but he also can’t just not go. Prideful creature that he once was, Orochimaru needs him– has needed him for the past nine long years– and Sakumo is loyal to the bone. He will go, of that there is no doubt, but he will go only with the certainty of victory, because he is a father of two, and he is in love with the man he intends to rescue, and he has never had so much to lose as he does now.

He needs a infallible plan.

That shouldn’t be too hard, he was not once appointed General for nothing.

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But first, he has to find someone trustworthy enough to look after his kids. Luckily, he already knows exactly whom to ask.

Unfortunately, it takes him two weeks and a half to finally pinpoint his location.

He leaves the children with old lady Saari, the only other human living in this strip of coast with her granddaughter, and heeds deep into the forest behind the house.

It doesn’t take long before he hears the familiar gait of heavy paws flanking his location, and seconds later the wolves emerge from the trees.

They are just as he remembers them– huge almighty beasts, bigger than any simple human, monstrous strength tightly coiled in massive shifting muscles and piercing dark eyes. Sakumo well knows that there is no predators of finer kin than the ones before him.

The Alpha steps forward and he meets her halfway, just as he always has done. She lowers her head until it is level with his own, and he inclines to softly place his forehead in the bridge of her snout, the space between her eyes.

“I have a lost prince to find,” he admits quietly, “but first I need to hunt down the stormbringers.”

We cannot all go, she says, to him and the rest of the pack, who had shifted restlessly with the prospect of a final hunt to embark. The woods must be protected, she consoles the others, and they seem mollified with the reminder, because they gently nose past him as they circle around and back into the forest.

It is when they are alone that she breaks apart and turns, crouching slightly, giving him her back. He hesitates for just a moment but it is enough for her to pick up on his worries, as it always has.

Nobody has gotten past me and mine before, she says as if Sakumo hasn’t been with her in the countless times people tried to do exactly that, and nobody ever will.

It doesn’t matter that he trusts the pack with his very life, that he knows they have never once in the seven years that Sakumo has chosen this place as his home ever let him down, the apprehension of ever being away when his son might need him makes his hand tremble slightly when even an army to defeat could not faze him at all.

He takes a deep breath and assures himself of the safety of his family by the knowledge that no one smart enough to figure out his location out of the humors of a haunted forest and yet still fool enough to go after the White Fang anyway ever got past the pack that prowls the woods, even as endless as the trees might be, stretching on for miles in ever direction around his house where the coastline doesn’t cover them.

He takes another breath, thinks of a fair man trapped in a spell and a chance to try and reconnect with someone he thought was lost to time, while simultaneously also reminding himself that this trip won’t take longer than a day, just a few miles east.

Sakumo bends his knees and jumps over, aided by the hand already at her flank, settling himself on Alpha’s back with the shared ease of long years together, of a kinship that runs bone deep. He can feel her muscles tensing and relaxing in preparation for the run by the hands gripping the fur of her shoulders. Sakumo reflexively starts sliding on the battle calm he was so revered for at the familiarity of it all; this scene replayed countless of times, everlasting, so much so that it could have been taken at any such point in his life and it would still be same.

The prey?

“East,” Sakumo murmurs, easing into his own skin for the first time in years, “and then you will be able to feel them.”

The stormbringers?

“Not quite, we are looking for the human that trails behind the maelstrom.”

Like you?

Sakumo hums a little before responding, thinking of blond sunshine hair and young blue eyes, of a sharp smile and the sheer prowess and tenacity necessary to be recognized in a world of spamming legends and myths. Of bearing the frailty of humankind and yet being mighty enough to step in the way of a titan, and still win.

“Yes,” he eventually agrees, with a wry grin tugging a corner of his mouth, “like me.”

Alpha huffs and finally crouches down on her front legs, and Sakumo goes with the motion, leaning his torso wholly forward. She holds position for a heartbeat before bounding east, just long enough for him to add, quietly, “we are going after the one they call Yellow Flash, the incarnation of the Flying Thunder God.”

It’s time to call some favors, and he needs a babysitter after all, for when he truly goes searching for anything that one might need to break a three way and nine long year curse.

The only saving grace is that surely he is not the only one planning to end the spell, he just has to find whoever else cares enough about the holy monk and the earth goddess that they already had a nine year headstart on him.

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oOoOoOo

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so i kept thinking about the logistics of how one might go about heroing at thirty and with two kids and the instant answer was– no kids. and the babysitter was obviously minato, but where would minato be?, i thought to myself, and, again, the instant answer was– after trouble. and trouble obviously came in the form of storm spirits so i wrote this, i guess *waves vaguely offscreen* but then i realized that minato would be one of those people who has been trying to break the curse. so. idk. maybe kushina takes care of the children??? i honestly have no idea. and i also dont know if at the end the both of them talked about it earlier so sakumo knows what hes talking about and it is later on when they are settled that oro starts adopting or if sakumo is just arrogantly assuming that he is the only one to care about oro that way and so is v surprised when a Wild Tenzo Appears (im excluding kabuto bc hes too young for that?? maybe sakumo picks him up before embarking on the journey– like he is scouting (confirming everything) the place where the three of them are trapped and there is this human(?) child diving in the water and conducting experiments like Yes, Fascinating and actually turns out the kid is quite smart and knows what he is talking about and is handily deadly)(i also assumed anko would be too young but what do i know)(i also just realized that tenzo is younger than kakashi)(BUT maybe he is a tree spirit and those take longer to get old so maybe he is younger than kakashi yet still technically old enough to have known oro)(aha)

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it should also be noted somewhere that i have no clue how one goes about riding a gigantic wolf in a hunt or even the right names for wolf anatomy so pardon my mistakes

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also i heard that you might actually make a sequel of the fic so. i mean. i know you wont take this as fic canon and all, im not expecting that, but i thought you might want to see what your work inspired me to write (and inspired me long enough to finish(!!), as short as it might be). so thanks very much for everything, senpai!

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*goes for a handshake* *gives up halfway* *salutes* *quietly lays down and rolls out of view*

[blackkatmagic]

(opsYamanakabb!Deidara anon no longer in anon bc i hAVE GROWN TIRED OF BREAKIN DOWN ASKS)

GOSH im SO flattered you liked it so much i mean ..

anyways, i have resurfaced bc… well i thought of another thing? err

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alright so backing up: on the road so far, inoshikacho plus sai have gone into a long and arduous mission of setting the long past wrongs into rights which means finding YAMANAKA deidara and i dunno actually doing sth about it?? and also somehow they acquired hidan for the trip back ??

so, what ive got is this: dei is probably super uncomfortable?? bc in one hand there is ino wanting to bond??? on the other is cho who is an actual legit cinnamon roll???? and to top it off the other one keeps eyeing him weird???? (shika cannot stop staring omfg and to think theres ppl out there callin him a genius) dei can feel himself becoming defensive!! aggressive defensive!!!! (like obvs the best defense is an attack?? or sth)

and so there is two. dei and hidan actually get into a lot of fights bc they just cant rlly understand each other– i mean w deis thing bein ‘momentary’ whats exactly the point of bein immortal?? where is the fun in that??? (hidan can totally show him the fun in that)

also surprisingly dei and sai get along quite well?? (i mean when hidan isnt hogging sai) they are artistic bros?? in so short a time?? (as the only person w common sense at this point, cho is keepin a careful eye from afar– surely the fact that sai gets along so well w the missing nin is vaguely concerning??)

*BREAK POINT**FORWARD A LOT*

so hidan is just chillin in konoha like ?? there is literally nothin they can do to him to make him care?? he is clearly superior™

anyway, hidan is chillin in konoha and somehow he overhears the true akatsuki plan (or he believes in conspiracy theorist sai so they have a headstart) and he is like outrageously offended!!! WHAT DO YOU FCKIN MEAN I H AVE BEEN WORKIN FOR SOME OTHER GOD?!?!?!! so clearly the only solution is to destroy akatsuki just annihilate everything there is no other option

so hidan goes on the warpath like THOSE FUCKERS THINK THEY ARE IMMORTAL I WILL FUCKING SHOW THEM IMMORTAL

or (fair warning, this is v crack now i mean)

hidan decides to be petty af and grabs sai to make the ultimate plan

(i actually havent watched shippuden soo might be a bit of on the execution for this one buut)

and so they go to the big ass statue and somehow they do magic bullshit fuuinjutsu stuff

and like in the climax of everything w the thing is ready to be activated and everyone is nOOooO

MOTHERFUCKER HIDAN POPS OUT LIKE LAUGHING YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD SEEN THE LAST OF ME BITCHES

and turns out hidan and his sidekick sai changed the thing so instead of liberating that rabbit moon goddess (??) the thing is now set to actually summon THE GREAT JASHIN-SAMA

everyone is speechless?? like ???? actual plot twist

hidan starts the thing

hidan is also bragging bc obvs he would be bragging

n some konoha nin (shika?? naru?? probs naru) turns to sai all what were you thinkin??!?! and sai be like i know it looks bad but– *konoha nin goes to save the day*

but the thing already started right? so they dont make it in time and the thing shakes the grounds shakes everything lights up like a goddamn light show annd–

it just… stops

everything goes back to normal like nothin to see here bruh and….

everyone suddenly becomes 1000% more suspicious bc where the fuck did it all go? 

to turns matters worse hidan starts laughing like a lunatic ?? sai goes to retrieve him– hidan needs his alone time now

and it takes months upon months before people start relaxing and a new meme starts as in jashinists rlly do get you all worked up but?? they just cant deliver amirite (obvs when hidan is not around bc he is still a psycho i mean)

and sai just shakes his head.. he only agreed to help bc he knew nothing would happen like bloodshed war rage and muder.. they are all already in the great era of jashin

(what hidan did was like prolong it for more years upon years to come)

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maan what a ride