#fbp doorframe

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yeah, so, basically every six months, a Death Council of thirty-one citizens is selected at random, no holds barred. literally anyone can be selected, including children and incarcerated people, etc. the Death Council is anonymous. their job is to vote on if the current head of state (president, prime minister, etc.) deserves to continue being alive, or if they should be slain for their failures (triggering an early election). majority wins. the purpose of this judicial addition would be to make the president scared. thanks for asking. follow me for more objectively terrible political ideas

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genuinely i think big studios should be allowed to make covers of movies like musicians make covers of songs. instead of all this prequel sequel crap it should be like, oh you like this movie and wanna riff off of it? go for it buddy—assemble a whole new cast new score same script just do it again with a different flavour

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actually i think the point of immortal characters having no experiences that a regular human couldn’t also understand (losing loved ones, being left behind, things ending, feeling unable to connect to the world around you) is that the ‘tragic eldritch immortal’ trope exists precisely to examine regular human experiences through the lens of elevated fiction.

grief and loss and alienation are banal and the point is to stretch these parts of the human experience to their emotional extremes. doesn’t grief make you feel like less of a person? doesn’t loss make you wish you never had to experience it ever again? doesn’t alienation simultaneously make you feel like a shadow and like a god?

and actually i think death 100% does give life meaning—and that meaning is different for everyone—so taking away a character’s ability to die is a way of exploring what death means to that character.

if your idea of ‘realism’ is to make your immortal characters completely well-adjusted and unremarkable because you think they would experience the world ‘essentially the same’ as any other human, i have to wonder why you’re engaging with this trope at all.

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okay, so my understanding of the show house m.d. is that dr. house spends several seasons committing medical malpractice before getting cancer and dying while on a gay road trip with his best friend wilson, who hates him

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i absolutely get what you’re saying, and i agree that a lot of hozier’s fans deliberately ignore the political & cultural context of his music in favour of sanitized pop-romance readings, but the reason jackboot jump is hozier’s least streamed song is because it got no official release, is listenable only in the form of a live recording, and doesn’t belong to any of his EPs or albums (which get streamed in clusters of songs, all together). please please please stop pretending like the only factor between it and a radio-play song like take me to church is the “tik tok girlies”

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an embarrassing thing about me is that the first time i read hamlet, i was too young and inexperienced to properly analyze text, and completely missed that q. gertrude was probably cheating w/ claudius before the whole murder thing happened. i just thought that gertrude got remarried really fast because she was? lonely i guess? and i locked that interpretation into my brain so hard that it wasn’t until like over a decade later that my partner had to point out to me (recently!!!) that hamlet is so pissed off because he’s picking up on the adultery of it all lmao!

this is just like the time that i found out my uncle was on a rainbow-themed softball team and did drag, but this was way before i even knew what gay people were so i didn’t realize he was gay until like 3 years after i myself came out

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the thing about maedhros is that he’s an eldest daughter without being a daughter. it’s about being made the third parent—it’s about taking his mother’s place, trying to reason with fëanor when the ships get burned. it’s about being his brother’s temperance when they meet thingol. it’s about how he’s a follower until he’s not, and how he’s not like his father until he is. and it’s about how above all, he’s not allowed to fail—but he keeps failing over and over again until it wrecks him so totally that if he looked back to the beginning, he wouldn’t recognize himself anymore.

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when i die, i want my ashes fed into the soil of a sapling so that what little remains of me becomes a tree. and when i die, i want to be carved into a sleeping marble statue sitting in the grass below those branches. and after i’m dead i want the tree to grow around my marble body like those pictures you see of trunks swallowing abandoned street signs. and after decades i want to be enwombed in wood so secret no one remembers i’m there. and there i hope i’ll sleep. and there i hope if any motherfucker tries to cut down the tree, they’ll hit me and break their axe.

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me: i want to be reborn as a violin.

my partner: do… do you think violins give live birth?

me: (nods)

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bojack horseman (2014-2020) and animal crossing take place in the same universe

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the antidote to "he would not fucking say that" is "here is what he would fucking say" and then you post your own fic. sometimes the cold hard truth is that i am writing and posting from spite babes

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okay here's the thing though—a drabble is a writing exercise. writing something in exactly 100 words forces you to be intentional with your sentences. it forces you to consider what you can sacrifice and why. come at me about this if you must, but the effect of a drabble is lost if it's not 100 words exactly.

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i feel like you've just walked into my house, and now you're standing in my doorframe without saying a word

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so last night my dad was apparently trying to impress my step-siblings (13 and 15) at dinner and said,

"hey, did you know [my name] is popular on tumblr?"

which garnered the response, "what's tumblr?"

and i have to admit—i was genuinely floored that they'd never even heard of tumblr. but after i had explained what it was ("sure... sure, we'll go with that, it's like twitter"), they asked if there were any famous people on tumblr and i said,

"sure! we've got neil gaiman!"

which was of course met with blank looks.

and my dad was like, "c'mon, neil gaiman! the author?" but they had ever heard of neil gaiman. nor had they heard of lynda carter (who was equally exciting to my dad lmao).

suffice to say i don't think my dad has succeeded in making me seem cool to them.

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'pov' stands for 'point of view' oh my god if you're captioning a video with 'pov' it should be shot first-person i'm begging y'all on tik tok please i'm on my hands and knees