#fatws shitpost

[what-do-i-type-here]

People keep comparing Destiel to other ships but one I've yet to see is SamBucky/WinterFalcon.

Like on one side you've got a super-human, dark haired, ex-brainwashed, ex-soldier who has blue eyes, a staring problem and also broke out of their mind control to join the other side after beating up their best-friend who thought they were dead.

And on the other hand you've got an older brother without any powers who has lost both of his parents, one of which he watched die at a young age, has a younger brother that looks older than him and he practically raised, who's helped save the world multiple times, died at least once, and dropped out of high school.

And then to top it off they both have this thing where they bicker like an old married couple despite not being together. Also that staring problem where they just look each other in the eyes for large periods of time.

[ronanwazlib]

no bc happy birthday to our resident gay boys™️ remus john lupin and james buchanan barnes <3 you’re doing amazing sweeties minus the dying part the live slug is watching and he approves!!

[faeriecap-archive]

to be cap you legally must be mlm and related to a sarah in the mcu

[the-irreverend]

Long Live Zemo Parker!

Imma gonna be here all night.

[sherlockisactuallyagaysname]

The most relatable character in the whole show isn't Sam or Bucky it's the guy who spat on Walker's face

[jjeangrey]

haha remember when peggy carter moved on after losing steve and saved the world like fifty times and fell in love with a hot as hell disabled vet with a heart of gold and went on to create SHIELD... then avengers endgame obliterated her entire arc and turned her into a voiceless love interest

[obeythefloof]

*Bucky gets in the car with Sam, Yelena, Kate, and Kamala*

Sam: Hey, homewrecker.

Bucky: I really don’t think that applies to this situation.

Kamala: Wait what’s going on?

Sam: Nothing.

Kate: It’s just a thing.

Kamala, visibly excited: Is this Avengers drama? What is it?

Sam: Don’t worry about it.

Bucky: Yeah, it’s really not a “thing”.

Kate: It’s definitely a thing. They’ve been all catty about it all week.

Kamala: Oh my gosh, please tell me. I promise I won’t tell anyone!

Bucky: There’s nothing to tell.

Kate: Well from what I’ve been able to piece together-

Yelena: The Winter Soldier is doing it with Captain America’s sister.

Sam: Goddammit, Yelena! I forgot you were back there!

Kamala: Woah. Did not see that coming.

Bucky: Sam’s the one being weird about it!

Sam: I’m not being weird; it is weird.

Bucky: She’s a grown woman! She can have sex with whoever she wants!

Sam: Well I don’t want to think about it!

Bucky: Then don’t!

Sam: I’m not!

Bucky: Then what’s your problem? You know I’d never do anything to hurt Sarah or the boys.

Sam: I don’t have a problem. You’re the one who keeps going on about how much you love her and miss her and want to kiss her and all that.

Bucky: So?

Sam: So it’s annoying.

*Sam and Bucky continue bickering*

Kate, to Kamala: They’re always like this.

Yelena: About pretty much everything.

Kamala: They don’t like each other, do they?

Kate: No, they’re best friends.

Yelena: Boys are weird. Dogs are much better.

Kamala: Interesting …

[logicheartsoul]

You know you’ve spent too much time with someone when you make the same kinds of expressions (sometimes at the same time) -- SamBucky edition

[bobgasm]

what kind of sister fuckin’ cracker ass name is john walker anyway? was daddy on the bottle when he was conceived? aw poor widdle johnny walker named after whiskey. boo fucken hoo. bet jack daniels didn’t go around pressing the button on the weewoo wagon to get anybody’s attention

[titaniumstark]

John Walker: *exists*

Bucky:

[aphihephiandarti]

hey guys, happy wednesday, to celebrate this episode of Loki, we’re giving you

MCU CHARACTERS AS SHIT OUR FRIENDS HAVE SAID

Natasha: You know, weirdly enough, this is the least dangerous thing I’ve done today. Bruce: Natasha we’re jumping off of a roof and it’s only eight am-

Bucky, hissing: DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT TOUCHING MY KNIFE YOU HOE

Peter Parker, sliding down his stairs like a penguin: I heard you were talking about Harry Potter. I have a few ideas to discuss.

Tony, sitting on a post like an owl: So actually, you are wrong and here’s why.   Rhodey: TONY IT IS ELEVEN AT NIGHT WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE? 

Gamora: I love drinking tea and having an existential crisis

Mantis: I will kick you in the stomach. Well not really. I’ll imagine doing it. But I won’t actually kick you because it would hurt.

T’Challa: You threw a chair at my face! Okoye: It was unintentional! T’Challa: You looked me in the eye and said “I hope this hits you bitch”

Shuri: I will not hesitate to fight thirty people to find the library.

Drax: I’d kill a baby. Not mine though. A random baby. If it was suffering.

Clint: Some people do drugs. I eat saltwater taffy.

Steve: I SWEAR I’M A PATRIOT BUT HOLY FUCK AMERICA THIS IS BAD

Groot: *incomprehensible noises* Rocket: Okay listen up bitch- BONUS

Loki: I love knives. Knives are my friends. Kinves understand me. I’m going to cuddle my knife. Mobius: *screeching* NO!

[livrere-purple]

Sam: God, give me patience. Zemo: I think you mean 'give me strength'. Sam: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.

[girlpog]

Feel free to call me slurs in my ask box again, that was suuuuuper fun the first time you did it.

[faeriecap-archive]

bucky: *reluctantly venting to sharon about how in love he was with steve and how hurt he feels that steve yeeted off to the 50s to be with peggy because he knows if anyone would understand it’s her*

sharon: *bites lip awkwardly* oof yeah............. about that............ did hydra ever explain the words “comp-het” or

[sherlockisactuallyagaysname]

Sam: you're doing that staring thing again

Bucky: its hardly my fault you're so hot

Sam: what

Bucky: what

[jjeangrey]

everyone assumes bucky was a cocky, sarcastic, ladies man but he literally took his date to a science convention and sat down to read the hobbit when it first came out