#fatdisneyprincesssw

[fatdisneyprincesssw-blog]

Weigh day ...

Loss of 5lbs today

Loss of 15.5lbs over four weeks

Starting weight: 250.5lbs or 113.6kg

Current weight: 235lbs or 106.6 kg

I was in a wee bit of shock when it comes to this loss as when I work on nights I don’t eat as much and speed is hard work.

At night time, fruit and vegetables are the last thing you’re body wants. I get acidy and have terrible indigestion. My body at night time seems to want heavy processed carbohydrates which do not equal weight loss!!

I have another weekend of night but I’m hoping to be more prepared this time and eat food for breakfast and dinner that’s full of speed!

My little boy has been unwell these last two days so I haven’t posted as much but hopefully I will be posting a bit more!

I also got slimmer of the week!! Whoop 😁

💚

FatDisneyPrincesssw 👑 x

[fatdisneyprincesssw-blog]

I think this is how I feel about my weight problem. It’s like I need to say to my body,

‘Look, we don’t have to be best pals, just allies. We both want the same thing:’ for our slimming journey to be a success.

Feud: Bette and Joan - episode 3 “Mommie Dearest”

Look, we don’t have to be best pals, just allies. We both want the same thing: for this picture to be a success.

[fatdisneyprincesssw-blog]

I’ve been sick for the past week, really not a well woman 🤢 hoping to get back to normal over the next few days!

💚

FatDisneyPrincesssw 👑 x

[fatdisneyprincesssw-blog]

I was tagged by @a-lesbian-breaking-her-mould to answer these question as a new follower of her blog! So here goes …

1) Name: These days it’s Mummy


2) Nicknames: None


3) Height: 5′ 5”


4) Orientation: Bisexual


5) Nationality: Irish


6) Favorite Fruit: Strawberries


7) Favorite Season: Spring


8) Favorite Flower: Sunflowers


9) Favorite Scent: Cakes in the oven


10) Favorite Color: Purple


11) Favorite Animal: Monkey


12) Coffee, Tea, or Hot Chocolate: Yes please


13) Average Hours of Sleep: I need about 9 but generally get 6


14) Dog or Cat Person: Doggies!!


15) Favorite Fictional Character: Mrs Potts


16) Number of Blankets you sleep with: 1


17) Dream Trip: Road trip around Europe


18) Blog Created: Literally this week - January

2018
19) Number of Followers: 0 … so I can’t tag anyone 😞


20) Random Fact: In 1930 there was a BBC radio newscast where there was in fact no news! They played piano music for 15 minutes!

[fatdisneyprincesssw-blog]

29.01.18

BREAKFAST: Baked eggs and cheese

LUNCH: nothing

DINNER: Nacho feast, cauliflower and broccoli

SNACKS: Coconut rice pudding, two hifi bars, blueberries, strawberries and chicken breast

HEA: 250mls semi skimmed milk

HEB: 40g LF cheese split over breakfast and dinner

SYNS: Coconut milk 1.5

Still on nights! Last one so hopefully I didn’t fall apart and eat toast and Veda bread tonight!!!

💚

FatDisneyPrincesssw 👑 x

[fatdisneyprincesssw-blog]

21.01.18

Breakfast: 3 Mallons sausages, fat off bacon, mushrooms, tomatoes, Brennan’s be good bread with a tsp butter and poached eggs

Dinner: Sweet potato pancakes, two peaches, nectarine and an orange

SNACKS: Coconut rice pudding and hifi bars

SYNS: Sausages 1.5, butter 3, coconut milk 1.5, hifi bars 6

TOTAL: 12

HEA: 250mls semi skimmed milk in tea

HEB: Brennan’s be good bread

Not feeling to well this morning so breakfast was at lunch time and I’ll have some rice pudding later so as not to wake up hungry in the night!

Hoping to have another loss this week and to stay on track! 4 days until weigh day!

💚

FatDisneyPrincesssw 👑 x

[fatdisneyprincesssw-blog]

A little more about me.

My weight and the insecurities it has developed within me have affected every aspect of my life. My job, my marriage, my friendships, my being a mother.

What people see from me is the fat girl with a smile on her face and a witty, sarcastic comeback and think that I’m happy with myself. What they don’t see is the fight with the mirror every morning. The towel held close around me when my husband is in the room after a shower. They don’t feel the tears burning my eyes, my heart beating out of my chest and the heavy feeling of being strangled when I get asked by friends to go out, stand outside a clothes shop or most recently, be asked to be a bridesmaid by one of my best friends.

I said yes, of course I did. But when she told me who the other three bridesmaid were, my heart sank. One of them has a waist measurement smaller than my right thigh.

She then told me she was looking at short summery dresses, my mouth went dry. I haven’t worn a shirt dress in almost 5 years.

The worst part happened on Thursday though. She sent us a link to a website with a lovely dress on it. She gushed about it, it’s perfect, what she had always dreamed of. She sent us the size and measurement guide as she wanted to order our sizes.

I didn’t fit in the biggest size. The waist measurement is 20cm smaller than my waist.

20cm. This number will stay with me forever.

I cried before I phoned her. I was so ashamed. I am so ashamed.

Do you know what she did when I told her? She apologised to me. She said she should have asked us individually first. I know she was trying to make me feel better and I appreciate that but I felt worse. Because of me, she can’t have her dream dress for her bridesmaids.

This has ate at me for days. I have been repulsed by who I see in the mirror, even more so than usual.

Today she sent me a picture of a dress, beautiful and completely different to the other one. It can be custom made and she wants me to order it in my size and see how I feel.

I love her. I love her so much because she wants me in her wedding even though I’ll be the fat chick in the dress that isn’t her dream in her wedding pictures. Despite of all this, I’ll always hate myself.

If she were to read this she would be so mad at me.

1: I call myself fat. 2: I compare myself to other people. 3: I’m still dwelling on something she’s already forgotten about. 4: I’m still calling myself fat. 5: I am more important than a dress.

I know this because it’s how I would have reacted if any of my bridesmaids had written this.

I suppose what I’m trying to say with all this is that I am so hard on myself and the people that matter are never so hard on me.

It’s ok that I feel bad about myself, that I hide behind a towel and that I battle with the mirror.

At the end of the day, my people, the people who I need and the people who love me, they love me. All of me, just the way I am. They’ll support me if I want to lose weight, but if I am to do it, I do it for me. So that’s what I’m doing. I’m fighting my battle with the bulge for me. No one else.

💚

FatDisneyPrincesssw 👑 x

[fatdisneyprincesssw-blog]

19.01.18

Breakfast: Coconut milk rice pudding and blueberries

Lunch: Asleep through lunch time

Dinner: Sweet chilli chicken and vegetable stir fry

Snacks: strawberries and blueberries with coconut choc shot and two hifi bars

HEA: 250mls semi skimmed milk in cups of tea

HEB: Carrot cake hifi bars x 2

SYNS: Alpro coconut milk 3, Sweet chilli chicken 2, 3tsp of coconut choc shot 3

TOTAL: 8 syns

I only took a picture of my evening snack today and have to say it was really nice. I wanted to go and buy a few bars of chocolate but this satisfies my cravings.

Today is a day that I usually give up. I get in the car and go and buy a heap of sugary food and eat my sadness into even more sadness because I would have undone so much hard work. This is the day where I need to be stronger, more determined.

When everything feels like it’s getting on top of you, pick one thing you can control and stick to it. There will be something good come from it.

💚

FatDisneyPrincesssw 👑 x

[fatdisneyprincesssw-blog]

17.01.18

Today was another good day! I am motivated and determined and still believe that this is my time!

Breakfast: Trusted overnight oats

Lunch: Butternut squash and carrot soup

Dinner: Carrot chips, fried onions and Mallons sausages

Snacks: Melon, banana and peach

HEA: 250mls semi skimmed milk used in tea

HEB: 40g porridge in overnight oats

SYNS: Roses orange cream 6 Sausages 3

TOTAL: 9

The orange creams were so not worth the 6 syns and they repeated on me 🤢 I think I need to have one or two things in the house to use my syns on as a treat but then I tend to binge on the when I do! Have to have a wee think about that!

So it’s weigh in day tomorrow! I had set a target and I don’t know if I have achieved it but I’m feeling good. I would love to get my half stone award tomorrow and need 1 1/2 lb for that so that’s what I’m setting my sights at and if there’s anything more there’s a bonus!!

💚 FatDisneyPrincesssw 👑 x

[fatdisneyprincesssw-blog]

30.01.18

BREAKFAST: two hifi bars

LUNCH: nothing

DINNER: Sweet potato pancakes, orange, pear and blueberries

SNACKS: Coconut rice pudding, blueberries, two hifi bars

HEA: 250mls semi skimmed milk

HEB: two hifi bars

SYNS: Coconut milk 3, hifi bars 6

TOTAL: 9

Night shifts may well cause me a stumble in my progress this week! I have not gone over my syns but I haven’t eaten very much and haven’t eaten too much speed!

💚

FatDisneyPrincesssw 👑 x

[fatdisneyprincesssw-blog]

28.01.18

BREAKFAST: Overnight oats

LUNCH: nothing

DINNER: Chicken breast stuffed with broccoli, red pepper and cheese triangles, carrots, broccoli and cauliflower and baked potato

FOR OVERNIGHT: Coconut rice pudding, 2hifi bars, two oranges

HEA: 250mls semi skimmed milk in tea

HEB: 40g porridge oats

SYNS: Cheese triangles 2, coconut milk 1.5, butter 4, hifi bars 6

TOTAL: 13.5

Tried to get a bit more speed in today but still just didn’t get enough. I normally go grocery shopping on a Friday but didn’t have the chance so we are like old mother Hubbard in the house! Going to go shopping tomorrow after I pick up the little man from the childminder and then hopefully I will get back on track!!

💚

FatDisneyPrincesssw 👑 x

[fatdisneyprincesssw-blog]

25.01.18

BREAKFAST: Overnights oats

LUNCH: leftover Chinese chicken with carrots, onions, mangetout and baby corn

DINNER: Nacho feast filled with onions, carrots, mushrooms and peppers with carrot chips

SNACKS: Coconut rice pudding and hifi bars

HEA: 250mls semi skimmed milk used in tea

HEB: 40g porridge oats

SYNS: Coconut milk 1.5, Cheese 6, hifi bars 6

TOTAL: 13.5

Feeling so chuffed with my weight loss this week! It’s really spurred me on to make sure that I stay on track again this week! My head is really in the game and I have my meals planned out for the week!

💚

FatDisneyPrincesssw 👑 x

[fatdisneyprincesssw-blog]

Weigh day ...

Loss of 3lb today

Loss of 10.5lbs over three weeks

Starting weight: 250.5lbs or 113.6

Current weight: 240lbs or 108.9kg

I am delighted! Wasn’t sure how it would go, I deserve this loss but sometimes I know I don’t get what I think I deserve when it come to weight loss!

I really really want another 3lb this week. It would put me into a new set of stones but any loss is better than a gain!

I also won Slimmer of the Month! I’ve never won that before so it’ll go on the fridge beside my half stone award to keep me motivated!

Here’s hoping it works!!

💚

FatDisneyPrincesssw 👑 x

[fatdisneyprincesssw-blog]

24.01.18

BREAKFAST: Overnight oats

LUNCH: Eggs, mushrooms, smash potato cake and one slice of toast

DINNER: Chinese chicken with carrots, mangetout, baby sweetcorn and onions in the slow cooker and chips

SNACKS: Melon, coconut rice pudding, hifi bars, strawberries and choc shot

HEA: 250mls semi skimmed milk used in tea

HEB: 40g porridge oats

SYNS: Brennan’s be good toasted 3, coconut milk 1.5, hifi bars 6, choc shot 4

TOTAL: 14.5

Chinese chicken was so yummy! Will be a regular in this house from now on!

Weigh day tomorrow! Hoping for 3lb as I’ve been really good this week and tried to save as many of my syns as I can until the end of the days so that I don’t pick all evening before bed and it seems to have worked.

💚

FatDisneyPrincesssw 👑 x

[fatdisneyprincesssw-blog]

23.01.18

Breakfast: Magic pancakes with an apple, a pear and blueberries.

Lunch: Butternut squash and carrot soup with some ham.

Dinner: Whiting with sweet chilli sauce, sweet potato chips, fried onions, cauliflower and broccoli.

Snacks: Coconut rice pudding, blueberries, strawberries, choc shot and two hifi bars.

HEA: 250mls semi skimmed milk used in tea.

HEB: 40g porridge oats

SYNS: Coconut milk 1.5, sweet chilli sauce 3, choc shot 3, hifi bars 6 TOTAL: 13.5

My little boy has been a miserable little man all day 😩 teething is not fun for him or anyone around him.

A day of ice lollies and cold wedges of melon from the fridge for him and staying on track for me!

💚

FatDisneyPrincesssw 👑 x

[fatdisneyprincesssw-blog]

Out for lunch ...

Today I went for lunch with my parents and my little boy. Anyone who is trying to lose weight knows that eating out can be tricky. Luckily with Slimming World it’s not as hard as you might think ... or is it?!

I thought about lunch all morning, I was going to have a chicken Caesar salad, no croutons and dressing on the side! The thought of it made me so excited as the place we went stuff their salads full of the yummy stuff like chicken and bacon but there’s still plenty of salad in there too! I couldn’t wait!

It was 12:30 and they had run out of grilled chicken breast. 😡 I could have cried. The on the spot ordering began and the disappointment made my ‘screw that im having chicken goujons and chips with loads of garlic mayo’ attitude rear its ugly head ... I RESISTED!!

I scanned the menu with the countdown theme tune in my head and everyone watched - Jacket potato with chicken, peppers onions and seeet chilli sauce. I knew I’d have to syn the sauce but it sounded nice and was going to be a much better option than the deep fried fiasco my ‘I’m just always going to be a fat girl’ voice in my head was telling me to do! I ordered steamed veg with it (talk about strange looks from the waitress) and I devoured the lot!

I asked afterwards about the sauce so I could better judge my syns and was surprised when I worked it out that it was so low! What could have been a really shaky start to week 4 on plan turned out ok AND I have a new go to food for if my first choice doesn’t pan out!

Making good choices and being prepared is definitely the way to win when you’re trying to lose weight but there will be bumps along the way. That voice in my head will never go away, I will always want the chicken goujons and chips with garlic mayo, but I need to weigh up which I want more. To be happy with my weight loss or to sabotage it for the sake of one meal?

You can’t always deprive yourself. A slimming world group leader has said before, ‘If you want a Mars bar, have your free or speed snack to see if that want goes away. Have two. But if you’re turning to toast and butter you may as well have the Mars bar because then the craving will be gone. If you eat your free or speed snacks and then your toast and butter, but you still want your Mars bar then you’ll probably just end up having it too! You’ll still have all the syns of the Mars bar, but the syns of the toast and butter too.’

One day, I’ll go in with no plan as to what I am going to eat and really want my chicken goujons and chips with garlic mayo, and it’ll be ok that I actually have it. That has to be a choice I make then and there. Today if i would have had it, I would have tossed the rest of the week out of the window as a mess just because of one lunch! It would have been a snap decisions and that is not what making changes is about.

This whole journey for me is about taking back control. I did that today and I’m proud!

💚

FatDisneyPrincesssw 👑 x