#fatalcookies

[mumblingsage]

16, 20!

16. Write the next 5 sentences and share.

I'll edit the next 5 sentences, picking up from where the last ask left off (if a 6th sentence smuggles its way in, so it goes):

From atop the walls, a garrison man had seen the baron’s party approaching the Eadin; they’d have seemed tiny figures between the trees, ants crawling among rushes. Here on the stairway to the great hall’s doors, Cat could be said to have a commanding view, but she envied that watchman, wished she could see the future bearing down on her as something so small.

She wished Konstantin’s—troubles, call them that—could have reached a happy resolution that she had no part in. Not because she wished to avoid the shame of being connected to him, though few would blame her. Cat would have felt the same way if he came home dripping with honors. If she were a prize instead of a refuge.

20. Share 3 images that would fit to a mood board for this chapter/fic.

My main image-work regarding this story has been trying to find models for Konstantin's dagger (not much luck!), but that aside, and assuming the Sickos: YES meme and any random screencap of a bloody-mouthed Joey Batey from the "King" music video are already granted--here, have the jewelry I either bought because of this story (purple star ruby; purple rubies and star sapphires both show up) or wrote into the WIP (turquoise stone; I made it an earring rather than a ring), the chalk art that inspired the Barony of Eadinford's coat of arms, and some embroidered flowers like Cat might sew:

[radio-raven]

@fatalcookies

[thefigmented]

12, 17, and 21?

12. The Beach - The Neighbourhood

17. goodbye - Billie Eilish

21. Better Than Me - The Brobecks

(Send a number 1-100 and I’ll give you my unwrapped song!)

[victoriantrashjohn]

Any good thoschei fic recs for us?

Oh I wish! I still haven't really branched out into reading doctor who fics by people I don't know because I haven't had the time but as usual I reccomend @not-jodie-yet and @fatalcookies they both have great thoschei fics on ao3

[chinquix]

fatalcookies

  the-omega-jojo  me: man i...

If you stop in Portland come say hi to me? :D

of course!! (you’ve discovered my secret ulterior motive to this roadtrip, which is surprise all my american mutuals in person and speak at you in british)

[radio-raven]

@fatalcookies

Sometimes filing the serial numbers off a character is not about profit motive or escaping into respectability so much as acknowledging that your idle daydreaming has become so phenomenally OOC that the only fix left short of a full factory reset on your imagination is declaring that actually no it hasn't because this is your original creation, Yonic the Smedgehog. Do not steal.

[saskiavalentineapologist]

@fatalcookies replied to your post “@nivalingreenhow replied to your post “@nivalingreenhow replied to...”

DeLune is not a woman who tends to equate love with commitment either so like. She's been in love before, just not settled down, really. The settling down would surprise her, but gently so, as she's just... at a good time in her life to start thinking about it.

word of god from jennie herself

[mumblingsage]

fatalcookies said: Must use language in a new and unconventional way! Puns, slam-poetry influence, dialogue-only entries, and so on.

Yes, I think there’s definitely something there! I worried it might stray too close to “Erato Redux” (not that I don’t want to do another Erato, I just think it’d probably be clearer to call that Erato II rather than a completely new title) because the use-of-language subject lends itself to flash fic and prose poetry. But it doesn’t have to be super short.

I did some word & concept association and also thought of:

*Literature and lechery—public domain fanfic, stories about the erotic influence of reading (and of writing—from Story of O to sexts)

*Language: what are the sexiest words to you? Dirty talk? Poetry?

*Wordplay: What’s the sexiest literary device? Zeugma? Even a good pun gets us laughing, and laughter can be sexy. Or dare I say, puns that make you moan as well as groan?

*Wordlessness—going beyond words, literally unspeakable pleasure, the desires that are hard to voice, nonverbal communication

All of which can be written about by using language in new and unconventional ways. Hmm, something might be shaping up here.

[starsailorstories]

fatalcookies

replied to your

post

:

Does anyone actually wanna know about the...

Uuuuh please

*deep breath*

*steeples fingers*

@fatalcookies

ok so LIKE

In a deviation from canon, Shade’s only on earth because armageddon is coming someday, and she’s the Almighty’s most trusted strategist. I know this is also veering way off all conventional understanding of the hierarchy of angels, but I think our girl’s a seraph. I mean come on--little miss “think nothing but devotion”? The character who was so over the top in her praise of her boss that a complete third party called the relationship “an altar” to be “sacrificed on”? Seraphim is translated as “the burning ones” and Shade is burning inside and out in any version of her you want to construct. She’s way beyond goodness, she’s about PURITY. She is a slave to the theoretical ultimate perfection of the divine plan. Holy holy holy, bitch!

But...she has a secret.

It’s the same secret she has in canon.

She loves life.

She doesn’t know why and it kind of scares her. She has eternal bliss at her fingertips if she just keeps following all the rules, and she’s great at following all the rules. But at the same time, perfection is simultaneously incredibly hectic and kind of boring. After an eternity of serving at the height of passion, unchanging, unerring, a body gets a bit worn out, and starts to think it might be nice to just, curl up with some brief ephemeral story. Something a bit less than perfect, a bit less than eternal--just to see what it was like. And fortunately the divine, in her unerring wisdom, was just on time to tell one, which started, “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.”

And so she goes to earth, and she’s just barely constrained in a quite handsome--entirely bespoke!--human body, whose eyes she only occasionally lights up with white flame, and promptly occupies herself with performing understated miracles of toy repair for random children, dressing like the pits of fashion, sipping espresso in cafes, skulking around the edges of literary society Orlando-style but in a theoretically specifically benevolent fashion, and justifying everything to herself one way or another.

And yes like...Shade is pretty sensible, she’s not going to get into the exact same nonsense on earth that Aziraphale did, but if you really think she’s not going to get into any nonsense at all then I feel really bad for you because clearly you’ve never met...wlw in general

She’s kind--never indulgent, but kind--and polite, and nobody really minds her above or below, because she’s very careful to maintain her Purity by never questioning anything or really putting anything in place besides that which she’s been told to. One of her main justifications for everything she’s been getting up to is to assume that if the Almighty didn’t want her to do it, she wouldn’t be able to, because she certainly doesn’t have free will...does she?

Shade is a pseudonym she took on to represent the humility of her human side, by the way, signifying its total inferiority to the radiance of God. I don’t know what God calls her when she’s a blinding, burning figure at the side of the great throne. Perhaps it’s Lux.

Now. Bolt. You may have been asking yourself, “How are you gonna cast the sweet, soft, motherly team healer as the demon in this? Even Crowley has it in him to be a bit of a curmudgeon sometimes and Bolt just doesn’t” and that is true.

But I have this to say:

Hell hath no fury like a tenderhearted gay disaster scorned.

Okay, it’s not all, like, completely personal. The majority of the soul reaping that Bolt accomplishes doesn’t require her to do anything besides exist. Because she’s a sweet, pretty, competent woman who listens, and she’s also the biggest lesbian in the world, and her numbers look fine back at home office because men are just like that. She doesn’t have to tempt anybody she’s literally just There

But sometimes, with the ladies, it’s more, and sometimes she is there for an extended period, and sometimes she feels something beyond pragmatic compassion and that something quickly turns to heartbreak. Because she will never not be a demon, and humans will never lack the ability to redeem themselves. With them she’s never more than a temptation, a distraction, a stumble on the straight and narrow--never chased, never cherished, never allowed to grow old beside. They abandon her, they hurt her, just like God did, and they never regret it, because it was the right thing to do. So, you know, every once in a while, when it’s really too much to take, when she really has to do something for once, to hell with them.

The thing is that in vol. 1 Bolt certainly feels enormous degrees of love, but she doesn’t really have a moral code beyond “make the people around me happy so that they’ll like me and pay attention to me.” If she felt underappreciated in heaven, would she run to Lucifer’s side knowing she would be praised and made to feel special there? Abso-HECKING-lutely.

Of course, it takes more than just her feelings to make her fall. As with canon Bolt, she falls FOR someone.

Who does she fall for, in this universe?

Ready for this?

Eve.

Oh, it wasn’t entirely selfish. She certainly THOUGHT about the unfairness, the way God set them up for the Fall. And yes hell sent her to make it happen, so she can certainly claim to have just been doing her job. BUT…

She honestly might not have done it the way she did it, if she hadn’t thought, just a tiny bit, just way down deep where she could almost ignore it, “Maybe, if they could choose, one of them might choose me.”

Down the road, one of her few real resume builders downstairs is inventing the spinal block epidural--which REDUCES human suffering, but how are they scoring this thing anyhow?--as a middle finger to heaven and an apology to her first crush

+Bolt grumbling+ “‘In pain you will bring forth children’ ASSHOLE it wasn’t her fault!”

Also putting her in the actual plot rather than just the universe of Good Omens simplifies things nicely, the nuns aren’t needed anymore at all. Boltie will be the first to tell you that without her Systems and her assistants, she’s perfectly capable of misplacing a baby on her own.

I just want to mention here that she dresses like the exact midpoint between Jackie O and Marilyn Monroe with a slightly more infernal color scheme and her sunglasses are those red plastic heart kind

Also, because I do the same shit in every AU, she has the exact relationship Crowley has with Queen with, GUESS!!, Dolly Parton

I definitely think one of the most interesting things about this (it’s one of the things I think is most interesting about canon Good Omens too although they never go a l l the way down this road) is that Shade quietly suspects that Bolt is better at being Good than her. Oh sure she loves all God’s creatures but Boltie can get them to love her back. It seems that, unless someone has hurt her personally, one of her main motivations for pushing back against heaven IS compassion

Bolt for her part feels immense guilt about the fact that the only reason she EVEN lets this crap happen anymore is out of bitterness. She hears heaven offers humans unconditional love, even now that they have free will. Where was that deal when she wanted free will, huh?

From that setup on out, you don’t REALLY have to change anything--about EITHER source text! But it’s kind of fun to customize certain stuff for them

I feel like in that scene where they’re drinking in the bookshop they’d get into an exchange that’s like

Bolt, sitting with her legs slung over the arm of a chair, her pantyhose all bunched around her ankles, her high heels in one hand and a glass of red in the other: And that’s the other thing, if we go back they’re not gonna let us be cute anymore

Shade, sitting at her desk with her tie loose and her collar open beside a half-empty bottle of very nice whiskey (I told you the aesthetics were reversed): My goodness Boltie that’s really what you’re on about at a time like this

Bolt: Well take a second to appreciate what you’ve got down here angel, we look fine as all get out! If they send us back I’m gonna probably be back to bein’ a snake for all eternity and you’re gonna have to be a, a flaming wheel or some shit. You know you’re not gonna be able to get made-to-measure for THAT

Shade: …Damn, you’re right

Is this a good time to mention that in my head, Shade sounds decidedly English and Bolt sounds like she’s from Cleveland

Except also I really want Shade to carry Boltie across consecrated ground like in that one post

[fuleao]

9, 10, and 20!!

9. (Another) Funniest thing someone’s ever said.

BRING ON THE HUNGER GAMES, ABRAHAM LINCOLN, I’M READY (spoken by a one-foot-tall mushroom by a player using a voice modifier to sound like they’re on helium.)

10. Most annoying thing that’s happened in a game.

ants should not have a high enough intelligence score to automatically resist animal friendship why didn’t I just try animal handling first instead of burning a slot

20. Big groups or small groups?

I definitely prefer small groups. It’s easier for everyone to participate and to interact with all of them. 

[byrdiegrey]

ok y’all now I’M blushing

fatalcookies replied to your post  “lucretiasnumberonefan: @dancingalongthestars replied...”

...................................this is so cute what the HECK

Am I going to come out of this campaign shipping Peent and Briar I. I swear to god ??? aaaah

Uhhh well you might at the rate this is going...

@lucretiasnumberonefan #(sobs) I LOVE BRIAR#I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!!#dungeons and depressed bastards#god#god!!!#GOD I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!

I love him too! SO MUCH! He needs all the love he can get poor lonely child.

@dancingalongthestars #THIS IS SO GOOD#I am crying I love this I love briar I love EVERYTHING#dungeons and depressed bastards#and tbh Peent would likely become a Blush Puddle because gAWD SHE IS SUCH A HOPELESS ROMANTIC AT HEART#like she has NO IDEA how to ACTUALLY SERIOUSLY FLIRT#it's ridiculous I love my dingus child#peent the walking meme#briar

@timelordsandkittens #THIS WAS SO WORTH THE WAIT I'M DYING

I’m glad it was worth the wait! Don’t die though, we need you for Sunday and to write more drabbles about our ridiculous party.

YOU GAYZZZZZZZZ! [like you GUYZZZ but gayer] Ahhhh thank you so much I didn’t expect y’all to like the little drabble so much but now I’m super glad I wrote it. Bless these precious awkward gaybies.

[radio-raven]

@fatalcookies

the funniest dynamc between my boyfriend and i is the chef/baker divide runs so deep. experimentally my boyfriend is a genius with figuring out what flavor profiles will not just taste good together but also will be enjoyed by the specific audience he is cooking for. a recipe is not a guidebook so much as a suggestion and he will frankenstein ideas together to get exactly what he wants to happen. he also didnt know that sugar will not work properly if you dont mix it with the wet ingredients in banana bread and when i asked 'why didnt you do it in the order of the recipe' he said 'i didnt really think it mattered'. autistically i exploded his head in my mind

[janeturenne]

I just came across an album called "Do you want the truth or something beautiful?" and if it is possible to write a more Braxiatel sentence than that one I have never yet read it.

[thenugking]

fatalcookies said: Holy crow hon D:

natalunasans said: wow?!?!?! glad you’re okay

doctress said: D: Good grief.

yeah i am uh very very grateful to @charamei for maybe saving my life bc i was skyping her and about to go to the loo, and she told me she going to bed in a minute anyway, so I hung on a minute and then just as I was about to go to the loo, the ceiling right above it fell in and yeah, if u are happy i’m still alive then u have charamei to thank, thank you charamei for ensuring i was not in there at the time aaaaaa

[oathkeeper-of-tarth]

I think of your writing as: Clear, carefully-picked prose, never a word out of place. Incredible subtlety of emotion, beautiful imagery, and a sense of care having gone into every word that makes the writing seem very refined, delicately-constructed, and lovely in its portrayals, be it a moment of quiet emotion or a raw and gripping instant of time.

I mean. Also just, PearlRose, revolutionary makeouts, and the most lovely and carefully-arranged mutual respect between characters, it’s frankly wonderful. But also, all the other stuff.

[writing ask meme]

Honestly I personally drive myself up the wall with my horribly irritating need to painstakingly pick at and agonise over and endlessly fiddle with every single word in anything I write, but here you are complimenting that and… it’s just... so nice? Thank you

The other half of your ask is basically a big ol’ These Are A Few Of My Favourite Things, and I’m glad I can do them even a bit of justice.

[showing-up-late-to-the-party]

@spydoclovr69420 I would like to introduce you to (in case you haven’t heard of it) ‘scream of the shalka’ it’s was a failed animated reboot from 2003. Richard E. Grant as the doctor and Derek Jacobi as the master.

There is a single episode/ book, the special bit is the master’s body got destroyed and so the doctor built him a new body and put the master’s consciousness in the robot body, and now the master is stuck in the Tardis.

It’s very fun to think of thoschei while listening as there little bits of the master caring for the doctor slip through. There are also just really great lines and David Tennant as a little part as you can hear him yelling in one little scene and I find it funny as he was trying to get into doctor who even back then. You can look up the episode in parts, the book is about the same story it’s just in word form. But I love the dynamic they have going on with the companion as she there as normal and the master knows she can help the doctor in ways he can’t since him and the doctor have a different relationship and he can’t leave. the doctor still is a bit hung up on the last companion, it sounds like he accidentally got her killed so the master is pushing him to get a new companion and care again and obviously the doctor is like ‘No I don’t want to do that again’.

For the reasons you bought that’s probably way it didn’t make it, I love these three tho, I like when people write the master also looking out for the companion, as what’s better then one space grandpa, then two space grandpas, and I love Alison

Since there only one episode, it lives on in the little bit of fan works there is, there sometimes the tag ‘shalka husbands’ but the fan fic ‘show tunes’ by FatalCookies is one of my favorite! And I think it a good start

It is my saddest take today to say that Thoschei is so deeply doomed by the plot that the closest we can get is allusions to it.

If Thoschei were to happen, if they were to become friends again, they still wouldn't be able to see each other often, or it would ruin the format of the show. If they got together it would be even worse for the ratings (likely) because if the very pretty characters are together, then self-inserts are less likely, which makes people who like that a lot less likely to watch and enjoy the show as much.

These two aren't just doomed by the plot, they're doomed by the format. Without the Doctor out there saving people, they show doesn't happen. If it's just the Doctor and the Master together, then the show is lacking a character to relate to for the viewer.

Basically, the show can never do Thoschei really because it'll break the format. BUT that doesn't mean they can't do flashbacks to when they were young and happy.

Fanfiction is a holy medium.