#farter shy

[biggassybootyaddict]

I like having my expectations subverted when it comes to gassy girls. Allow me to explain. Cute girls who are shy, prim n proper and lady like; they're the last ones to be expected to be naughty farters.

I take a cute shy girl out to dinner, dresses so elegant; I'd never expect her to have a kinky side. After a big dinner, I drive her home, I suddenly caught wind of something smelly and hear a cutesy "excuse me" She farted and such a smelly gas came from her. Expressing to me she tried to hold it in, but her stomach couldn't handle it. Another fart and I heard it, and it was such a big one. What a twist... a well-dressed shy girl that farts that big, instant keeper!

Even better when she asked me do I like and she'd love to do it again, this time on my face. I'll fucking pull over on the side of the road and we have a stinky fun in the back of the car!

[satansforbiddenpleasures]

so i'm a shy farter irl and I've been living with my bestie's family since September and it hasn't been an issue until now. I've been so fucking bloated and gassy all week and I can't bring myself to rip a fart around my friend even though we've been friends for like 10+ years. pls send help, my guts are killing me 😩😘

[kipercrow]

How I imagine wrestlers fart

because I'm bored

Br//on Bre//akk//er: Shy around his co-workers, and doesn't really let it out/try to make it loud when he's fishing with his buddies. With his father and uncle (T//he Ste//in//ers) however he's loud and proud about it, mainly because they are too.

Co//dy Rho//des: 100% loud and proud with his guy friends. Rips without care when around them. Doesn't try to be obnoxious about it when he's at home with his wife

Na//th//an Fr//az//er: Not really that big of a farter. If he's alone he'll rip it or if it'd make his friends laugh and he has one ready. But beyond that, not more reserved but he's just not farting a ton

C//M Pu//nk: Allegedly would rip a sbd in the ring (alongside Ed//ge) to prank the referee of the match. Totally farts outside when he's alone or is just with his wife and blames it on ducks. Definetly a car and bed farter, rips farts into his couch

Jo//hn Ce//na: I feel like when he was younger he'd prank people with his farts. He's tightened up since he's gotten older and more famous, only farting in the bathroom or when he's alone. He will make a fart joke to make a kid/someone laugh though

Th//e Mi//z: Definetly doesn't hide his farts unless they have important company over. Likes to be a goofball with his farts. Will fart in the car when he's alone or with guy friends. Won't fart in bed

Ho//ok: Probably farts when he's stoned. Doesn't fart a ton but if he's alone and he has to he'll let it rip

Tri//ple H: Loud and proud with friends. Will ask "do you smell that?" after letting go a sbd. Loves to do a fart joke when he's not in business mode

Sha//wn Mic//ha//els: Doesn't fart a ton. Farts in his car and couch but excuses himself when others are around. Will laugh at another person's fart joke

[downforthegas]

Fart kink asks (all 25 bc why not)

Woah uhhhh damn thank you so much!!! I'm glad I can finally answer the questions I've always wanted to!!! Here we go:

When did you realize you were into farts? Age 16 when I first learned how to touch myself

How did you figure out you were into farts? Probably fart jokes in shows, you know how it goes (live action scooby doo movie ruined a generation lol)

What’s your favorite type of fart? Quite a lot. Bubbly, wet, bassy, rumbly, silent, squeaky, etc. The kind that smell awful, like rotten cheese, milk, or eggs

Are there any types of fart you don’t like? Of course not. Farts are farts. Even the short, quiet ones have their charm

What about farting do you find most appealing? Probably the smell but sound is really hot too. As for the types of farter, I'm a big fan of embarrassment, but confidence is also suuuuper hot depending on what I'm in the mood for

Do you have a preferred length or volume for farts? I mean not really but I find myself fantasizing about long farts. Even hyperfarts that last for hours maybe even days on end (i guess I do have a preferred length lol). As for volume, any is fine, but if it's long, its extra hot if its bubbly and quiet or silent

Does farting turn you on on its own or do you need to already be in the mood? Farting can turn me on in an instant like a switch

Do you have any other digestion-related kinks? Ooh so many. Burps, piss (I think that counts), scat, and vomit (but not for real, just in my head). Even general stomach issues like bloating and indigestion and even heart burn are hot

Do you have any other kinks that you enjoy being paired with farting? Farts and burps, farts and bloating, farts and scat, farts and spanking, farts and tying up, ugh the possibilities are endless

Is farting a must in sexual situations or is it more of a bonus? It's sort of a must but I don't want it to be. I try to get off to regular stuff with my partners (we still do farts stuff too), and I do but its hard bc its always been farts I've touched myself to. But I'm willing to change. Besides, not using farts helps me last longer

Have you ever acted on your desires IRL in an explicitly kinky manner? With myself? Yes. Not yet with my partners though

Is having a partner who can fart well important to you? Not really but it's nice when you have it, like I do right now hehe

Does anyone you personally know know about your kink? Two of my friends, one I still talk to. They're both really accepting. I think I told my sister but she was probably so traumatized, she forgot lol

Has anyone ever noticed/suspected your kink without you telling them about it? Not yet. Thank god though. Maybe my sis is getting suspicious but I'm not sure (if she really did forget)

Is there any media that you enjoy specifically for farts in it? Not a specific media in particular (I imagine my faves farting more if they're from medias with no fart jokes) but I do like looking at fart comps on youtube, mostly from cartoons

Do you have a favorite farting-related content creator (on tumblr or otherwise)? For fart models, I love Love Rachelle, Selena Loca, Santana Redd, Emma Ink, and Natasha F. For artists, there's too many to list but I love a lot of twitter artists like Carafalsa, ProButtonMasher, GasTank, and Solloros. For people on Tumblr, I love @sweetbubblies for their ocs. They include a lot of hyperfart stuff and I think they got me into diaper stuff. @grossgeck is awesome too. They're extra weird like me and it makes me feel less alone in this community

Would you ever consider recording your farts? Oh I recorded SO MANY of my farts and posted some here.

Are you a shy farter or do you fart freely? Depends who I'm around. Around fam? Strangers? Friends? no. Best friends and lovers? Yes but I get a little hesitant with best friends hehe

Are you good at farting? Uhhh well my farts smell bad and some can be like 5 seconds so I guess I'm good. But I'm EXCELLENT at pumped farts. I can fart on command and I can suck in a lot of air

Do you prefer farting yourself or hearing others fart? Either way I'm happy lol

Have you ever gotten into trouble for farting in a place or situation where you shouldn’t have? Ooh not yet but I have fantasized about trying that in a public setting somewhere. I am into humiliation after all

Have you ever gotten turned on by farting in an inconvenient place or situation? Again, no, but it turns me on to think about

Have you ever tried to make yourself gassy in order to fart? Oh I kinda do it all the time! Whether it's with food, chocolate milk (my love) and pumping air in me

Do you have any favorite foods or drinks for encouraging farting? Spicy foods, leafy green veggies, super greasy foods, and chocolate milk/regular milk

What’s your biggest fantasy involving farting? Me and both my current partners are gassy and they can both fart freely around me, but I have to have a plug in me until they say I'm allowed to pull it out. If we're having sex, I'm not allowed to take it out until I cum. Maybe they make me take it out in public so I'm forced to fart in front of a bunch of people. Or they need to be in the hot tub after sex. But there's no hot tub. But hey, there's enough bubbles in my system to make it one

[soupy-hotel]

15, 18, and 25 for the fart ask!! <3

15. Is there any specific media you enjoy for the farts in it?

hmm... currently no :( there is a huge lack of girl farts in media. but back in the day? definitely total drama, theyd actually commit to girls ripping it.

18. Are you a shy farter or do you fart freely?

im definitely a shy farter LOL i barely fart in front of anyone unless its for shock value.

25. What's your biggest fantasy involving farting?

hmm.... definitely having a fart contest with another girl. maybe after a buffet where we're super gassy, and then after winning i get to fart on her as a prize. yeah thatd be nice..

[7kbuttcheeks2]

12, 15, 18 from the fart ask

Is having a partner who can fart well important to you?

I'll only say no because I'd probably love any guy who'd fart around me regardless of "good" or not. My straight friend usually has awesome rips but there's a good "meh" ones too, same with me.

Is there any media that you enjoy specifically for farts in it?

Not really, no. Embarrassing answer would be a really bad cartoon Rocket Monkeys that had a ton of butt and fart jokes. I remember also liking My Gym Partner's a Monkey as a kid for the excessive butt gags.

Are you a shy farter or do you fart freely?

I only fart freely in front of guy friends. We all like to announce each others haha

[moxfirefly]

Ive come to annoy you and ask for embarrising headcannons of the turtle boys mwhaha

Pfffffft please, ask away as much as you like my friend.

So let’s see, embarrassing hc’s with the lads?

• Class A klutz right here, for a ninja he really do be tripping and breaking shit pretty easily

• it’s why Raph had the top bunk, Mikey would just straight up roll off and fall in the middle of the night

• MUST be surperviced while in Donnie’s lab

• (this is a rick and morty joke I love but I can so see it happening) says Granite instead of GranTED

• “wow we really can’t take life for granite”

• cue Donnie looking into the camera like in The Office

• has definitely rubbed his eyes after chopping up jalapeños

• at least four times... (it’s happened to me... 😬)

• spontaneous boners at the worst times

• thinks nobody is gonna find his nudey mags under the mattress

• guess what: everyone has, Mikey please

• gets caught wanking off the most

• nervous farter™️

• oh boy does this precious boy get stuck places

• hallways, windows, vents, a bathroom stall

• him big™️

• knocks stuff over

• knows his strengh buuuuut has had incidents, namely made Mikey cry once or twice, felt AWFUL

• when that growth spurt hit did it hit my man

• def clogged the toilet one too many times (mikey’s chili is not to be trifled with my god)

• does not want to watch Disney movies...he will cry 🥺 hates to cry in front of anybody (honestly Raph is baby)

• still has his baby blanket

• yes still sleeps with it especially if he sad™️

• once swallowed his toothpick

• he fights so much with Leo cause deep down that’s his role model and he wants to be like him but he knows he’s too stubborn and Leo drives him up the wall too much for him to admit it

• wants to be the little spoon lowkey 🥺

• cried during his first tattoo and “no Donnie nobody will believe you”

• angry cryer™️

• hi he’s needy

• I’m serious, he hates to even fathom it but he is Needy™️

• he loves being babied

• used to ask for extra hugs and kisses when he was little

• was afraid of the dark

• the “dad can I sleep with you tonight?” Kid

• will not even boil water correctly, not the family cook nope nope

• drools when he’s k.o’d in bed

• prefers to read smut instead of watch it, has some spicy romance novels hidden away, prays nobody finds it

• high key admires himself, randomly will flex while looking at himself in the mirror gets all shy when he’s caught

• nervous puker™️

• nervous talker™️

• seriously he rambles on when he’s high key nervous

• the high pitch screamer when scared

• if he makes it to bed, needs to hold something to sleep. Probs has a body pillow, boy dreams about falling a sleep on titties

• accidentally left some x rated stuff on one of the monitors while explaining something about surveillance footage, Leo cleared his throat like 9 times

• speaking off, pls knock before entering the lab, please please knock 🤦‍♀️

• once ate coffee grounds while working on a a project, he was close to a breakthrough ok

• grumpy grump in the morning will be found scratching his butt while the coffee brews

• sings in the shower

• once had a sexy dream with April, couldn’t look her in the eye for a week

[marriedtothewriting]

She Is Taken

Lee Donghae x Reader | Fluff | Actor AU | Requested

Summary: You and Donghae had kept your dating a secret from everyone, but will happen when his members tease you and your co-worker.

Word Count: 1621

-

It was a normal workday in the set of the newest drama you were acting in. Another more romantic one including some dangerous situations. You were acting the love interest of the main character, who was acted by Choi Siwon. Your and his relationship as co-workers was nothing new as you two had shared some other movies and TV-shows, however, this time was the first time you played his lover. And it’s not like you felt too weird about it since you and Siwon were good friends over all and you felt comfortable working with him.

   As the shooting had ended, Siwon came to you and patted your shoulder once. You smiled at him.

   “Good work”, he said. “You’re a great actress, I feel like we only need one take with you.”

   You chuckled at his comment. “Thanks, but I think you overestimate me a tad.”

   Siwon let out a warm laugh, ending it with his charming smile. You two shared a moment of silence until he looked like something just came to his mind.

   “Oh right”, he took your attention. “I wanted to ask if you had some time tonight. I am going to meet up with my friends and I’d like for you to meet them.”

   “You mean Super Junior?” You raised your brow. Siwon nodded his head.

   Considering your friendship, it was surprising you hadn’t seen his friends and fellow members of the boy group he was in, Super Junior. Well, except for one.

   “Sure”, you answered. “I am free tonight.”

   A gentle smile formed on Siwon’s lips and he nodded once as an agreement. He gave you the time and the address, before saying farewells.

-

It was the evening.

   You sat on the back seat of a taxi that drove you to a rather familiar looking place. You weren’t sure how fancy you should be, so you picked your one dress that would never go wrong. A simple dark green dress that just covered your knees, hugging your body in the right places, the collar was a little open and the shoulders bare, but it didn’t look too revealing, nor too expensive.

   You took your phone out of your bag, quickly texting Siwon how you had arrived in front of the address he had given you. He replied a quick “I’ll meet you outside.”

   You stepped out of the taxi after paying the driver, and soon after you saw the smile of your friend, Siwon. He was wearing a rather casual suit outfit, making you feel slightly overdone, but then again, you wanted to look your best.

   He walked to you. “Glad you could make it.”

   “Of course.” You shot him a smile. “I am very eager to meet the famous Super Junior.”

   Siwon chuckled, offering his arm to you. You hooked yours around his arm, just figuring that as a friendly gesture.

   “You look very lovely”, he commented.

   “Thank you”, you replied. “You look very lovely yourself.”

   He nodded his head and thanked you while you two walked inside the building you actually knew quite well. You had been there many times.

   You and Siwon walked the stairs, in front of a door you again knew very well. “Lee”. You smirked to yourself, wondering what he would think. You hadn’t told him Siwon asked you to join them.

   Sure enough, when the door opened, a familiar handsome face of a certain Nemo smiled brightly. Until his eyes fixed on you, and that’s when his eyes opened wide.

   Siwon raised his eyebrow as he watched his bandmate stare at you like he had seen a ghost, which you imagine it felt to the very confused Donghae.

   “Donghae?” someone behind him asked. The other man looked at you and Siwon, a smile bright on his face.

   “Siwon!” he said and opened his arms, to which Siwon reacted by hugging him.

   “Hyung”, he replied happily.

   You pressed your lips together as you felt Donghae still staring at you, but this time his eyes were narrowed like he was glaring at you like a little kid. You took all of your willpower to not hug him tightly and give him a loving kiss.

   Donghae and you had been dating for a while, but due to you both being under a spotlight, you had decided to keep it a secret, from everyone. That included his bandmates, and even his best friend Eunhyuk.

   “Siwon”, the other man spoke. “Is this your co-worker you spoke about?”

   Siwon turned to look at you, smiling wide. “Yes, she is the best in what she does”, he spoke highly of you. You giggled lightly and noticed how Donghae gave a slight side-glare to Siwon.

   “This is Lee Hyukjae”, Siwon patted the shoulder of the other man. “And that is Lee Donghae.”

  Donghae didn’t move, but you tried to play along and nod your head as if it was your first time meeting.

   “Aish, she is really pretty”, Eunhyuk said and then smiled at you. “You look really lovely. I hope Siwon is taking good care of you.”

   You raised your brow at his last comment, wanting to ask more what he meant by it, but you were interrupted by some loud noises coming farter back from the apartment. It sounded like the whole place was filled. The group really lived up to their name, you thought. You had been very eager to meet them, but Donghae was always a little shy.

   You closed the door and walked further in, however, Donghae grabbed your arm and pulled you back lightly. Gladly, Eunhyuk and Siwon were not facing you two and were too occupied with greeting rest of the members.

   “What are you doing here?” Donghae whispered.

   “Siwon asked me to join”, you explained. “Did you expect me to refuse?”

   “You could’ve told me...” he said.

   “I think it’s more realistic like this.” You smiled, quickly giving him a sneaky peck on his cheek. “Like we met the first time.”

   Donghae sighed but nodded. What could go wrong?

   “Is fishy trying to steal your woman?” you hear a loud, obnoxious voice. You looked up at the source, seeing a very beautiful man with an amused smirk on his plump lips. No questions about it, this was Kim Heechul.

   Siwon chuckled nervously. “No hyung, she is not- We are just friends.”

   You side-glanced Donghae, who looked very tense. You very sneakily squeezed his hand behind his back to make him relax, which he did. Your touch was enough to make all of his worries wash away.

   “Sure, sure”, Heechul kept teasing.

   You and Donghae joined the others and you chuckled.

   “No, we are really just co-workers”, you explained the situation. Donghae nodded his head lightly, but no one really noticed.

   “Pfff, like you would tell us”, Eunhyuk joined the teasing.

   “Don’t you two play your romantic interests in the new drama?” Heechul asked with his grin widening.

   “That doesn’t mean anything!”

   Everyone in the room looked at your left, seeing a very heated Donghae. He soon understood what he had nearly yelled and his whole face heated up clearly.

   “I mean... just because they act, doesn’t mean they’re together...”

   “And why are you suddenly acting so weirdly?” the loud Heechul kept asking.

   “Just leave them be, Heechul”, another man shook his head. He looked like the father of the group, surely being the leader Leeteuk.

   “But don’t you think they would make a good couple?” Eunhyuk asked. “Is there going to be a kissing scene??”

   You sighed internally. Donghae looked at you with wide eyes. Another thing you hadn’t told him yet.

   “Yes”, you answered. “But we haven’t shot that scene yet.”

   The guys just said “ooh” in unison, making Siwon facepalm and apologize to you, and Donghae, as expected, was very tensed.

   You shook your head. Maybe this was a bad idea. Poor Donghae.

   “You should go on a date so it would be more realistic when you kiss!” someone added.

   “Just date, you would be a power couple”, another one said.

   Siwon scratched the back of his head, realizing he couldn’t stop their teasing. You opened your mouth to say something, but before you could, Donghae looked determined and spoke.

   “No they can’t date”, he said with a confident voice.

   All of you looked at him with weird looks. But Donghae, he looked very serious.

   “Why not?” Eunhyuk asked with a confusing tone.

   “Because she is taken”, Donghae kept his voice firm.

   “Hae...” you whispered.

   “And how would you know? By who?” Heechul asked, crossing his arms.

   Donghae smirked, wrapping his arm around your waist, pulling you close to him. “By me.”

   The whole room went silent. You could feel all the eyes on you. You looked down to the floor, feeling slightly embarrassed until you heard Siwon call your name.

   “Is this true?” he asked.

   You smiled at him and the rest of the members, nodding your head. “Yes. Hae and I are dating.”

   Donghae smiled wide, kissing your cheek lightly. Then the whole room was filled with noise as all of the guys were talking at the same time, asking questions from you two.

   You shook your head, but chuckled, looking at your boyfriend with a raised brow.

   “What?” he said. “I just couldn’t stand not talking about my beautiful girlfriend.”

   “Sure”, you smirked. “You totally weren’t jealous.”

   Donghae shook his head, a smile on his face. “Nope. Never.”

   You simply smiled at him, looking into his brown eyes. All the noises in the background faded as it was just you and him. You leaned up and kissed Donghae sweetly, not having a care in the world.

   As you leaned away, you whispered: “I love you”. To which he replied, “I love you more.”

~

Anonymous: “ Hey , luv :) Can I request for an imagine where the reader is an actress and has been currently dating Donghae for a while now . However , no one including the members knew about both your relationship until your co-worker, Siwon decides to bring you over to meet the members and they keep on teasing you with Siwon and this has caused Donghae to get a little jealous and decides to just put it out on the table . Sorry if the request is too long and specific 😅😅 Thank you and have a good day 😜 “

[aiweirdness]

Ten new applications for neural networks

Neural networks are machine learning algorithms that are very good at solving tough problems - they’re used for language translation, facial recognition, and financial management. I, however, have been training them on silly datasets. 

Here are some of my favorite experiments from the last year.

Naming guinea pigs

In a possible first for the field of machine learning, a neural network named rescue guinea pigs for the Portland Guinea Pig Rescue and Morris Animal Refuge. Some of the names they used, and some of them they did not.

Popchop Fuzzable Spockers Trickles Farter

Then I mixed the guinea pig names with the names of death metal bands, and got names such as:

Death Snifs Fuzzy Night Dark Darn

Naming kittens

Not to be outdone by the guinea pigs, AFK Cat Rescue of Huntsville, Alabama asked me to name some rescue kittens. Some of the names were great, and others not so much:

Mr. Tinkles Retchion Pish Toot

Inventing magic spells 

I trained a neural network twice on Dungeons and Dragons spells, and once on spells from Harry Potter. See if you can figure out which list is which.

Chorus of the dave Song of the doom goom Barking Sphere Gland Growth Hold Mouse

Hurder-gerping Charm Regrowing hair to curse of the Bogies Brechaim hedbivicus Doobers Spell Fubbledory Charm Squggly-wing fart

And please read these hilarious descriptions of neural network D&D spells.

Naming beers

The craft beer industry is running short on names, and expensive lawsuits result when two breweries use the same name. Now we have many more.

Dang River Yamquak Borb! Snot Beard Pimperdiginistic the Blacksmith with Cherry

And now there’s a real beer, first ever named by neural network: The Fine Stranger

Naming your next band

It helps if you like sharks.

Shark Gordon The Shark Singers The Shark Charles Tony Shark

Or if you’re a metal band, there’s a special list just for you.

Inhuman Sand Chaosrug Stormgarden Staggabash Sun Damage Omen

Curing writer’s block

Need a title for your story?

Under the Daleks Pirates: A Fight Dance Story Batman and Flancles: The Fun Tree The Star Wars: The Santa Contact American Midnight: Swear Dragon

Or need a way to start it?

“I am forced to write to my neighbors about the beast.” Her mother was packing by the black anthill. The sun was probably for his wife. Stop! I caused the Narguuse man who was new on Alabama, the screaming constipated eggs.

Assassination plots

It’s a really bad idea to follow the neural network’s cooking advice. Its cake recipes will also not result in cake.

1 cup cherry seeds 42 cup milk Preheat oven to 3500  8 minutes. Sprout clams; add vanilla.

Choosing your next Halloween costume

Fairy Batman? Sexy Pumpkin Pirate? Princess Shark? Professor Panda?

You may be the only one dressed this way at your next Halloween party.

Inventing new ponies

I trained a neural network to invent new My Little Ponies, but not all of them were presentable.

Raspberry Turd Derdy Star Starly Star Blue Cuss

Inventing new paint colors

I trained a neural network to generate paint colors and name them. Then, with a larger dataset, I tried again and it did a bit better. But you may not see these as the next color of the year:

Parp Green Shy Bather Farty Red Bull Cream

[junker-town]

Thanks to the Covid-19 pandemic, we now know Tuukka Rask has disgusting farts

Photo by John Tlumacki/The Boston Globe via Getty Images

Pro tip: Don’t sit behind Tuukka Rask. He’s going to fart.

Zdeno Chara on Tuukka Rask's farts: "The smell is awful. He likes his chicken wings. After the chicken wings, I sit behind him on the bus — I gotta tell you, I've got to control myself sometimes." pic.twitter.com/P380ZaxZ7K

— Conor Ryan (@ConorRyan_93) March 30, 2020

Boston Bruins defenseman Zdeno Chara revealed during a video call that there’s one person he wouldn’t like to be quarantined with: teammate and goaltender Tuukka Rask. Why would he prefer literally anyone else as a quarantine buddy? Is it because they’re not compatible? Is one messy and the other is super neat? Nope.

It’s because of farts.

Rask apparently has the worst farts Chara has ever come across.

But it’s simply not because of one fart. If you’re known for farts, specifically bad ones, then that means you’re probably not shy about ripping one in front of others. Maybe you were shy about it during that first accidental toot. But after learning about the rancid power your wind possesses, you probably take pride in seeing those in proximity to you wince and clear the room.

And it turns out Rask isn’t shy about farting. When asked in 2014 about whether P.K. Subban has farted on him during games as a distraction (yes, that was a real question), Rask denied it, but admitted he usually does the farting. It sounds like Rask is a serial farter.

Thanks to Chara, we also know the possible source of the smell: chicken wings.

Zdeno Chara said he would least like to be quarantined with Tuukka Rask because of "the way he farts ... the smell is awful. He likes his chicken wings. Sometimes I have to sit behind him on the bus and I have to control myself sometimes." (This actually happened!)@NHLBruins

— Greg Wyshynski (@wyshynski) March 30, 2020

Not only that, but we also learn that he’s farting up the team bus.

During this coronavirus pandemic, we hope everyone stays at home, including Rask. We just hope he and his loved ones are practicing social distancing — mostly to prevent the spread of the virus, but also to avoid the stench of any putrid farts.

[downforthegas]

2, 3, 18, 19 from kinks ask please 😇

2. How did you figure out you were into farts?

Well I'm not sure when I exactly figured it out. I know I was looking at a lot of fart art on deviantart when I was a kid (I can thank griffenbeastie/carafalsa for that... but maybe not an*mated J*mes, he's not a good guy, but anyway). I didn't realize I even had a fart fetish until I finally figured out how to touch myself (idk why it took me so long to figure it out, but I used to be too impatient to work my way up to an orgasm). But yeah it wasn't until I finally touched myself to fart stuff (it was one of those audios with the fart art as the picture) that I finally realized I had the fetish lol

3. What’s your favorite type of fart?

Oh god there's so many types. But man low, bassy, rumbly farts that drone on are really good, especially in jeans or against a bed or a couch. Wet farts are super hot too. I really like seeing those in white pants (cause it makes me think something else is gonna happen🥴🥴🥴). Ooh and I also really like squeaky farts and farts that sound kinda cartoony. And little quick, loud braps and small airy toots. Speaking of airy I also like those farts that sound like a mix of airy and wet uugh. OOH but I'm also a BIG fan of silent farts. There's just something about a hot hiss from a hole that stinks to high heaven that really turns me on hehehehe

18. Are you a shy farter or do you fart freely?

It depends really. I can do it around pretty much anyone except my family. I guess cause subconsciously I see it as a sexual thing hehe my brain is wired weirdly. But yeah I mainly fart freely around my friends, especially my bf and gf (yes, there's two partners, cause I'm twice as cool), and the people in the discord server I'm in bc there into farts there too. I can fart on command and I got to uhhh ahem show that off to the server in vc chat. I don't think many here are into pumped farts so I don't really show it here, but yeah I love farting freely in front of them, especially my gf cause she looooves farts hehe

19. Are you good at farting?

Uhhhh well I guess I'm pretty decent with my natural farts but when it comes to my on command farts, hooooo boy, they are something else. I'm really good at controlling my hole and making them come out as wet or as loud as I want. I can make them silent if I want, and the more I do it on command, the wetter they get on their own hehe and sometimes if I take in too much air, I'll accidently fart if I press on my stomach (I start having a gas leak uuugh)

link to the ask post

[peculiarmindset]

KNB Fart Headcanons

And here is my GOM fart headcanons (+Kagami)

Kise Ryouta: Kise may not be able to burp well, but this blonde can really FART. From squelching wet farts to silent but deadlies, Kise can fart it all. He does get shy about letting his farts out in public (hence why he tends to let out only SBD's when there are other people around) but he is SUPER proud of the time where he got into a farting contest with Aomine and actually managed to beat the other and become the ultimate winner. Aomine is still bitter about his loss (since it came with a cruel punishment) and Kise became more comfortable in passing gas in front of the GOM members- now he always giggles when he farts loudly whenever they all meet up, much to the other's annoyance.

Midorima Shintarou: Midorima rarely, if ever, passes gas in public. He has a strong hold on his intestinal gas and refuses to let any of it out unless he's in his bedroom or in a restroom. When he does pass gas, his farts are average- both in sound and smell. After the cola incident, Takao once again tried to urge Midorima to eat a huge serving of American baked beans (for good luck, of course). But to his disappointment, Midorima's hold on his farts was quite strong and although one did slip out, the fart itself was nothing special- quite pathetic actually.

Kagami Taiga: Kagami's farts are above-average. They're quite loud like a machine gun and very smelly like a dumpster. He actually tries very hard to keep his farts in whenever there are other people around and if he accidentally lets one out, he gets very embarrassed about it and tries to blame someone else on it. His farts get particularly bad whenever he eats Maji Burger. Surprisingly it's not the burgers that mess with his stomach, but Maji's French fries. That's why Kuroko tends to sit at least a foot away or on the opposite side from Kagami when they eat together and Kagami always makes sure to order only the small size fries.

Aomine Daiki: Even though Aomine's farts are not as impressive as his burps, they are still obnoxiously loud (like Kagami, they sound like a machine gun going off or a tiny bomb explosion) and smell like rotten eggs and dead animals. When it comes to passing gas, he's very loud and proud about it. And due to indigestion, he rather his gas to be out in the open then inside torturing his stomach. No matter where he is or who's around, when the familiar cramping feeling starts to happen in his belly, Aomine would lift his buttcheek up or bend forward and let it rip.

Murasakibara Atsushi: Murasakibara's farts are very deep and loud. Sometimes his farts start off soft before growing louder and louder until it sounds like a volcano had just erupted. And the smell is downright atrocious. He isn't very shy about his farts neither- during practice he would ask permission from Himuro that he needs to go out for a minute to fart. Himuro is amazed when he can actually hear the sound of what sounds like a foghorn sounding from outside. After a solid minute, Murasakibara would come back in and ask if there were any more snacks around that he could eat.

Akashi Seijuurou: Akashi is one, if not the, largest farter in this group. His stomach is actually very sensitive to most 'commoner' foods (This is due to the fact that his father pretty much banned fast foods from his diet at a young age so his stomach isn't used to burgers and pizzas and such) So after eating together at Maji Burger with his friends or having to eat anything that's less then 5-star cuisine, Akashi wouldn't even be able to hold his gas in long enough to even get home. As soon as he goes inside his car and rolls up the separation window between him and his driver, Akashi would then proceed to gas out the entire car (he'd make sure to open the ceiling roof of the car so the smell would dissipate before anyone would notice).

Kuroko Tetsuya: Kuroko is the master of the silent but deadly farts. His farts are the ones that everyone has to beware of because they would come at any given moment and since his farts make no sound, the victim would often be taken off guard by the rancid stench that would suddenly assault their nostrils. And Kuroko actually doesn't have any shame about his farts- but that has mostly to do with the fact that he has never been blamed or accused of farting ever. So as soon as he feels a fart coming on, Kuroko has no qualms of releasing it into the air (but it's due to this that Kagami- whose usually at Kuroko's side- is the one who gets blamed for Kuroko's farts instead XD).

[justkleinerthoughts]

Dr kleiner is a shy farter

[sportinnovation]

A rough Ryder for Ireland’s golfers

We all remember the awkward, stiff-armed celebrations of Graeme McDowell and Paul McGinley when they holed their Ryder Cup winning putts. To a lesser extent, we recall Christy O’Connor Junior’s skyward gaze after his nerveless two iron and Philip Walton’s gormless look as a jubilant Bernard Gallacher engulfed him at Oak Hill. Embed from Getty Imageswindow.gie=window.gie||function(c){(gie.q=gie.q||[]).push(c)};gie(function(){gie.widgets.load({id:'S7j_Ay2ARUNJ7m3KEKOiqQ',sig:'J-gU1-FXKDtcSfCRYhQr-UF7UJ3e18OaS74tiYK1MQI=',w:'594px',h:'370px',items:'456317468',caption: true ,tld:'com',is360: false })}); These sepia-tinted moments obscure the fact that Irish golfers have a relatively poor record in the Ryder Cup. Certainly, they show their mettle when Sunday singles pressure reaches its zenith, but their overall record is sub-par.

Sieve the statistics from the Ryder Cup website and you will see that Irish players have won fewer than 40% of their matches - an average of well below half a point a game. Our golfers struggle in the Friday and Saturday pairings, especially in the foursomes format, in which they have won just over a third of their matches.

The fourball record is better, but not much better. While Irish players have come out on top in 15 fourball matches in the competition's history, Ireland's most successful Ryder Cup golfer Darren Clarke won six of them. The other 18 participants have accrued nine wins between them since Fred Daly first represented the island back in 1947.

So why is the record so poor and, more importantly, can we blame someone else? Certainly, a small amount of blame can be attributed to the Ryder Cup’s dark ages, when representative sides drawn wholly from Britain - and then Britain and Ireland - didn’t have enough depth to compete. Before our continental brothers were welcomed into the fray in 1979, the tournament was something of a biennial beating, with the USA winning 18 and drawing one of the first 22 competitions.

Even our best golfers struggled for respectability during this period. Fred Daly may have been the country’s only major championship winner before Harrington emulated his Open-winning feat 60 years later, but his record of three wins in eight games hardly matched his prowess. Similarly, the great Christy O’Connor Senior played in 10 Ryder Cups, yet he barely averaged a third of a point per game and won just two of his 14 singles matches.

Thankfully, Irish players have fared better since the Ryder Cup became a pan-European affair. Since 1979, they have averaged 0.47 points per game. While this represents an improvement, it isn’t exactly worthy of Ireland’s reputation as gritty overachievers. As the rising tide of European success lifted all ships, Ireland’s foursomes record continued to leak points. The fourball record rose to respectability, though this was mainly buoyed by Clarke's six wins and one half in the format. That said, there can be no denying the superb performance of Irish golfers in the singles. Since 1979, Irish golfers have won 57% of their singles matches, with 10 of our 11 players emerging triumphant on at least one occasion.

So, how do these statistics compare to countries of a similar golfing stature, such as Scotland and Spain? Like Ireland, Scotland has played a leading role in Ryder cups won and lost, from the occasionally brilliant and mawkish Sam Torrance, to the curmudgeonly, indomitable Colin Montgomerie. The winning record of Scottish golfers is comfortably better than Ireland’s, at 42%, though their singles record is not quite as impressive.

The post-1977 years have been kind to the Scots, with their winning ratio swelling to almost half a point per game. However, with Europe winning nine and drawing one of the past 17 Ryder Cups, these are hardly the figures of a protagonist. That accolade is reserved for Spain, a large country with a relatively small golfing population. Spain’s record in the foursomes and fourballs is scarcely believable, with Seve Ballesteros, José Maria Olazabal, Sergio Garcia et al winning almost two thirds of their Friday and Saturday games. Interestingly, Spaniards have won just 37% of their singles matches, a full 20% shy of the Irish mark.

Irish golf fans have almost come to expect cup-winning putts from Hibernian blades, and all the tricolour-posing pageantry. In recent decades, we have seen three players from the 26 counties and one from Northern Ireland clinch the trophy for Mother Europe. What few will have seen, however, is the statistical gulf that yawns between Irish players north and south.

It turns out Northern golfers have performed considerably better than their southern counterparts. The 11 Ryder Cup players from the Republic average just a third of a point per game, whereas the eight Northern Irish representatives average half a point. When you tally the numbers from the fruitful post-1977 period, the Ulstermen look even more impressive, with 60% of fourball and singles matches won.

So how will all of this inform this year’s edition of golf’s greatest soap opera, which will include an Irish captain and two of Northern Ireland’s favourite sons? History suggests that Rory McIlroy and Graeme McDowell’s form will be patchy in the alternate shot and better ball formats. While previous captains have been quick to pair countrymen together, McGinley would be wise to sidestep a Mcpairing. Even if you set aside the management complications that have tested McDowell and McIlroy’s off-course relationship, the simple fact is that Irish pairings have prevailed in just three of 12 matches.

Barring fatigue, you would be brave to bet against either man in the singles, and captain McGinley will probably place both major winners in anchoring roles. Expect a narrow victory for Europe against an underrated US side, with both McDowell and McIlroy averaging more than half a point a game to fortify Northern Ireland’s claim as a puncher above weight – a farter above arse. And also expect the rarest of beasts: a 100% record for an Irishman in the Ryder Cup; that is to say, an Irish Ryder cup winning captain at the first time of asking

[samanthasroberts]

Genius Gifts For Dads Who Say They Don’t Want Anything

On Valentines Day, you can always buy your partner chocolate. For Mothers Day, a spa gift certificate is asafe bet. But gifts for dads?The standard go-to Fathers Day gift is a tie, and its pretty lame. Then again, dads usually make gift giving even more challenging by insisting they want nothing this year. So, what can you do for the dad who doesnt want anything?

Thankfully, there are lots ofgenius products any dadwould lovethatgo way beyond Number 1 Dad mugs and novelty T-shirts. You can actually find Fathers Day presents that seem to do the impossible be something your dad would actually use.

Whether your dad is into unique grilling tools or having a robot clean his floors, get him something he actually wants so that when he opens up the Worlds Best Farter (I mean father) T-shirt you mistakenly thought would be funny, youre not the only one laughing. Better yet, you wont ever have to relive the day when you called his bluff and actually got him nothing. (Ive done that, and the look of disappointment is gut-wrenching.)

This year, really do Fathers Day right and get your dad one of these genius gifts he didnt even know he needed.

1. A Bottle Top That Gives YouInstantly Cold Beer

Amazon

Corkcicle Chillsner Beer Chiller, $20 (2 Pack), Amazon

For Fathers Day, give him the beautiful gift of an ice-cold beer. I dont mean pick up a six-pack and put a bow on it, but get your dad these instant beer coolers. Keepthe Corkcicles in the freezer, and when a warm beer emergency strikes, just pop the Corkcicle into the bottle, and boom, instantly chilled brew. Its perfect for barbecues, parties, or anytime your dad forgot to put his beer in the fridge.

2. An Expandable Stand For His Electronics

Amazon

PopSockets: Expanding Stand and Grip for Smartphones and Tablets, $10, Amazon

Your dad might not be aware of the glory of watching Netflix on his phone or tablet, but with this stand, hell be converted. The stand can also be usedas a grip for easier texting and calling. Italso folds completely flat, so you can keep it on your phone and still fit yourcell in your pocket.

Plus, its way easier to hold onto your phone with this grip, so therell be way fewer instances of dropping the phone and cracking the screen. (And if youre asking if you should buy a second for yourself, the answer is.)

3. A New Card Game For The Political And Hilarious Dad

Amazon

Trumped Up Cards: A Multi-Player Card Game for Adults, $25, Amazon

If your dad loves Cards Against Humanity and also hates Donald Trump, this game will be perfect.

One Amazon user wrote: This board game prompted the first time Trump and fun appeared in a same sentence of mine. Playing it on a number of occasions, with different crowds, each time it delivered laughs, catharsis, and knowledge I grew up in New York and I didnt know Trump did all of those things, said one of our guests. Besides holding up as an enjoyably competitive board game (players take turns being all-powerful CEO), is full of fascinating, funny, and yes, sometimes frightening facts about the 45th president.

4. An External Battery So HisCell Stays Charged

Amazon

EC Technology Power Bank External Battery, $33, Amazon

No matter how technologically savvy your dad might be, hell sometimes get caught with a dead cell battery. This high-capacity external batteryfeatures three USB outlets to charge your electronics quickly. If thats not enough, it also features a strong LED flashlight, so if hes ever caught in a blackout, this battery will make him the most popular person in the room.

5. A Travel Mug Thats Insanely Popular

Amazon

Contigo Autoseal West Loop Travel Mug, $17, Amazon

OK, a coffee mug doesnt sound like a genius gift, but this is a pretty exceptional mug. This lid seals super tight, so youll never have a leak or spill. Plus,vacuum insulationkeeps drinks hot for seven hours (perfect for when he inevitably forgets he poured himself a cup.)

On Amazon, this mug hasalmost 14,000 reviews, and one user wrote: This is the best coffee mug I have ever owned. bottom line: lives up to its promise. I actually forgot this mug in my office before a meeting and when I came back for it six hours later the coffee was still STEAMING.

6. Claws. Yep,.

Amazon

Grillaholics Meat Claws (Set of 2), $13, Amazon

If your dad loves to grill, hell love it even more when he can tear it apart with these meat claws. You can use these to lift hot meal off the grill, shred it, or just pretend to be a grilling beast. The clawsare BPA-free, so you dont have to worry about melting or any kind of plastic contamination. Since theyre dishwasher safe, clean up is easy and wearing claws while you cook just makes everything more fun.

7. A Backpack Suitable For A Grown-Ass Man

Amazon

Mancro Business Laptop Backpack, $29, Amazon

The days of briefcases are over and your dad needs something thats comfortable and professional looking to carry his laptop. Thats where this backpack comes in. It can hold any laptop under 17 inches and has 15 pockets to keep all his things separate and organized. Fully waterproof, he can carry his laptop in the rain without worry. Plus, the bag is extra futuristic with its external USB port to keep his electronic charged.

8. A Travel Coffee Press

Amazon

Espro Coffee Travel Press, $32, Amazon

If your dad doesnt have a lot of time in the morning but needs his coffee, this travel press will make his day. Just throw in grounds and some boiling water and the travel press brews the coffee on the go. It has a double micro-filter so he wont end up drinking bits of grounds and the double-walled stainless steel cup keeps the coffee warm all day.

Plus, its BPA, BPS, and phthalate-free, so you dont have to worry about a side of chemicals with your morning brew.

9. A Book For The Scientific Dad With A Silly Side

Amazon

What If: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions, $14, Amazon

If your dad loves to drill you with crazy hypothetical questions, he will love this book.Finally, we all get to know the answer to the question, How fast can you hit a speed bump while driving and live? The book is full of very serious, scientifically accurate answer to insanely crazy questions.

Based on the questions from fans of the webcomic Randall Munroe compiled the most fascinating questions and gave incredibly thorough answers.

9. A Handheld Console For His Favorite RetroCartridges

Amazon

Retro-Bit RDP Portable Handheld Console, $90, Amazon

Whether your dad used to love his Gameboy or always resented Santa for never getting him one, give dad a taste of childhood with this handheld retro gaming console. This console plays almost any old cartridge (Nintendo, Super Nintendo, and Genesis) and the player is light enough to take anywhere. You get about eight hours of playtime per charge, so itll get your dad (and lets be honest, )through any future road trips or train commutes.

10. A Super Strong Bottle Opener You Can Stick On Your Fridge

Amazon

SUCK UK Bottle Opener Fridge Magnet, $13, Amazon

Bottle openers have a magical way of disappearing every time you need one. Dont let your dad fish around the kitchen drawers for an hour, get him this bottle opener magnet. Stick in your fridge and youre done. The super strong magnet will stay put and youll never lose your opener again.

The magnet is non-scratch, so it wont mess up the high-tech fridge your dad spent a fortune on, and can easily take it on and of if you ever need the bottle opener elsewhere. Plus, its made of stainless steel, so itll hold up to years of steady bottle opening.

11. A TabletMount That Brings The Internet To Your Kitchen

Amazon

CTA Digital 2-in-1 Kitchen Mount Stand, $29, Amazon

Its surprising how often you need to use your tablet in the kitchen, but dont want to lay it on the counter to get immediately covered in hot spaghetti sauce. This kitchen stand solves the problem.It can hold any size tablet or even a Nintendo Switch, just in case your dad has a game going that he really cant put down. You can attach it to a wall or cabinet, or remove the mount completely and use it as a table stand.

With easy release buttons, you can get your tablet in and out of the stand quickly as dadlooks over recipes or gives Facebook a quick check to do some light spying on his kids.

12. A High-Tech TurntableFor Your Dads Record Collection

Amazon

Jensen 3 Speed Stereo Turntable, $51, Amazon

If your dads record collection is gathering dust, get him this new turntable. The turntable features three speeds and speakers, so you have everything you need to play all your vinyl plus, it comes with an input jack, so you can hook up a smartphone or MP3 player to its speaker.

But the best part is that this turntable comes with a USB port and audio software so you can transfer your records to MP3s. This gift is the best of old and new school and will suit all of your dads musical needs for years to come.

13. A Project That Turns Any Room Into A Home Theater

Amazon

DBPOWER 1500 Lumens LCD Mini Projector, $110, Amazon

For a movie-loving dad, this mini-projector will make his day. Its a compact size but 50 percentbrighter than a standard LED projector and only a portion of the price. You can connect your phone, tablet, computer, USB drive, or HD setup boxand see it projected on a screen or blank wall. Forget about a 75-inch TV, this can give you up to a 176-inch projection.

If your dad plays the Super Bowl this year at that size, hell be the most popular guy in the neighborhood. (And youll have more screen space to freak out over Beyonc.)

14. A Massager To Instantly Soothe HisAching Muscles

Amazon

1byone Shiatsu Deep-Kneading Massager, $47, Amazon

Dad might be a little shy about asking for a massage or a gift certificate to a spa, but hell definitely appreciate this deep-kneading massager. Use it at home, in the car, or at the office to reduce shoulder tension, neck aches, or back pain. The rotating nodes imitate a professional shiatsu massage, so those troublesome shoulder knots will be gone in no time.

Plus, it heats up for even better relaxation. The only downside of this gift is that you and everyone else in your family will immediately want one after they see how amazing it is.

15. A Family Board Game Your Dad Will Actually Love

Amazon

The Game of Things Board Game, $23, Amazon

The Game of Thingsis a great board game thats easy to play and helps you get to know all the players better. Everyone playing gets a topic on a card, each player writes down an answer, and you have to guess who said what. This isnt about trivia or getting an answer right, but trying to come up with a fun answer and seeing how well you know the players at hand.

The game is more innocent than Cards Against Humanity since you get topicslike Things you would do with a million dollars or Things you shouldnt do in an elevator. So, you can play it with the whole family without hearing anything too embarrassing, but its also really fun and you might find out how hilarious your dad really is.

16. The Acupressure Mat That Brings Immediate Relaxation

Amazon

ProSource Acupressure Mat and Pillow Set, $20, Amazon

Dads often like to pretend that theyre so strong that nothing gets to them. But everybody gets stressed sometimes, and dads are no different. This acupressure mat and pillow set is designed to trigger pressure points to relax the muscles and relieve tension and stress. The product claims that laying on the mat for 10minutes a day can help release endorphins that block pain and youll feel shoulder, back, and neck issues slowly melt away. Plus, the pressure points increase blood flow so muscles repair faster and you feel a little more energized.

17. A Tie Rack For All Your Previous Fathers Day Gifts

Amazon

Primode Motorized Tie Rack with LED Lights, $33, Amazon

Your dad needs something to contain the multitude of ties from previous Fathers Days. This motorized tie rack holds up to 72 ties and eight belts. It rotates with ease at the touch of a button, so your dad can look through his prodigious collection to pick out only the best tie for his day. To make it even cooler, the rack had LED lights, so he wont have to worry about selecting a tie from the back of a dark closet.

Yes, tie racks are lame Fathers Day gifts, but light-up, electric tie racks? Awesome.

18. Collar Stays That Keeps Your Dad Looking Classy

Amazon

CLEVERFIT the Adjustable Collar Stay, $30, Amazon

If your dads a man who rocks a suit and tie, keep him looking clean and classy with these collar stays. Though collar stays soundpretty old-timey and you probably dont know WTF they do, they actually make a huge difference. These stays are designed to fit all collared shirts with eight adjustable positions. In just a couple seconds, your dad can pop these on and never have to worry about having a floppy or sloppy collar ever again.

19. The All-In-One Face Wash

Amazon

Rugged and DapperDaily Power Scrub All-in-One Facial Cleanser for Men, $25, Amazon

A good face wash isnt just for women. Most dads might not be up for adopting a thorough skin regime, but they can definitely use this all-in-one cleanser. This does everything its a face wash, toner, and exfoliating scrub all in one bottle. It has natural ingredients like aloe vera, vitamin C, willow bark, and burdock root to cleanse and tone the skin.

No matter your dads skin type, this face wash works and works well.

20. A Beer Dispenser That Gives You Draft Quality Brews At Home

Amazon

Fizzics Waytap Beer Dispenser, $130, Amazon

If your dad is a true beer lover, hell be overjoyed with this beer dispenser. It was featured on, and it turns any old can or bottle of beer into a draft-quality brew. You can use any style of beer from stouts to IPAs and there no gas or chemicals used in the product. Just pop in four AA batteries and your canned beer is transformed into a full flavored draft.

Since its light, portable, and doesnt use any wires or tubes, your dad can take it to any backyardparties, tailgating events, or camping trip.

21. An Alarm Clock With A Million Uses

Amazon

Hale Dreamer Alarm Clock Speaker Dock, $20, Amazon

If your dads not a fan of getting up in the morning (guess we know where you get it from!), this alarm clock will make his life a lot easier. Its easy to set, and you can completely customize the sound, volume, and frequency of your morning alarm. Plus, it works as a smartphone dock and speaker, so you can play music at night or in the morning without leaving your bed. (And if it just so happens to find its way to your room instead of your parents, we wont tell.)

Dont worry that a phone call will come in a ruin your sleep, this alarm uses Smart Silence which automatically blocks all but emergency calls. Plus, you can use it as a white noise machine to help you drift off.

22. A Shampoo With A Morning Caffeine Boost

Amazon

ManCave Caffeine Shampoo, $12, Amazon

This caffeine shampoo isntmade to give dad extra energy in his morning shower, but to help withhair growth. The shampoo contains Vitamin E and shea butter to moisturize the scalp and hair, while the caffeine stimulates the roots of the hair to encourage growth.

If your dad isnt into fancy bath products, hell still love this. You use it every day, just like a normal shampoo, and there are no added scents, just natural cleaning power.

23. A Fascinating Book For The Adventurous Dad

Amazon

Atlas Obscura: An Explorers Guide to the Worlds Hidden Wonders, $21, Amazon

is an amazing website with tons of interestingfacts about bizarre places and stories from around the world. Thankfully, the site put their very best stories into thisbook. If your dad loves travel, adventure, or even weird history, hell absolutely love this book.

24. A Backup Cell Battery With A Delightful Design

Amazon

Lankoo Power BankUSB Charger, $18, Amazon

First of all, how many backup batteries come in fake sardine cans? Just this one. Inside the cool 3-D printedcase is a powerful USB charger that works with almost any smartphone or tablet.You get about two iPhone charges out of this battery, so you dont have to worry about constantly plugging it into a charger.

A backup battery is something everyone needs but most people forget to buy, so this is a great go-to for difficult-to-please dads.

25. A Cast Iron Pan For Perfect Pizza

Amazon

Lodge Seasoned Cast Iron Pizza Pan, $41, Amazon

If your dad loves making pizza as much as he doeseating it, this cast iron pan will make a perfect gift. Cast iron is the best material forheating evenly and staying hot, which makes it a great choice when making pizza. The reason cast iron pans arent used more often is that they can be a pain to season, which is the process used to prepare the cast iron for cooking.

But this pan is pre-seasoned and ready to pop in the oven. Cast iron is incredibly sturdy and never bends out of shape or loses even-heating capacity, so itll last a lifetime. Plus, if you get this for your dad, you can guilt him into making you pizza every time you come home. A win-win if Ive ever seen one.

26. A Pen That Does Everything

Amazon

EdgeWorks Screwdriver Multitool, $11, Amazon

Your dad will feel like James Bond will this badass multitool. It looks like a simple pen, but it also works as a tablet stylus, ruler for metric and imperial measurement, a bubble level, and comes with a Phillipsand flathead screwdriver.

Since its bright yellow, theres no chance your dad will lose it (but hey, you never know) and hell probably want to show it off any time theres a screwdriver or bubble level emergency.

27. A Shaving Kit With VintageCharm

Amazon

Gentleman Jon Complete Wet Shave Kit, $55, Amazon

If your dad is more of a Ron Swanson type, hell appreciate this old-school shaving kit. This kit is made with all super high-quality, long-lasting material and gives your dad the experience of a class wet shave. You get an impeccable safety razor, badger hair brush, alum block, stainless steel shave bowl, shave soap, and five extra blades.

If, like me, youre about to google alum block, let me save you so time: its a stone that helps stop bleeding from small cuts and also works to fight razor burn. This stuff is all top of the line and super classy.

28. A Kit For Customizable Hot Sauce

Amazon

DIY Gift Kits Hot Sauce Kits, $40, Amazon

If your dad is hooked on hot sauce, give him the chance to make his own with this kit.You have everything you need to make up to seven bottles of custom hot sauce. With bags of spices, peppers, glass bottles, labels, and easy-to-read recipe cards, your dad will be making sauce like a pro in no time. It even includes a pack of the super hot Ghost Pepper, so your dad can finally get the spicy mix of his dreams.

29. A Super Slim Wallet With A Minimalist Look

Amazon

SimpacX Genuine Leather Slim Wallet, $20, Amazon

Is your dad hanging onto a George Constanza-style wallet? Get him this slim billfold to help keep him organized. Made of real leather, this wallet features a minimalist design. You can hold up to 10cards plus cash and the wallet still lays flat and slim. Plus, its equipped with RFID technology to protect your valuable information. Sleek, simple, this wallet is a definite dad pleaser.

30. A Gaming Console Thatll Take Your Dad Back To Childhood

Amazon

Pac-Man Connect and Play 12 Classic Games, $15, Amazon

No matter how advanced video games get, theres something about the classics that are just delightful. If your dads into video games, hell seriously love this throwback collection of games. First of all, the whole thing is shaped like Pac-Man, so its already awesome. Then, you just plug it into your TV and play Pac-Man or 10other games like Galaga, Dig Dug, New Rally X, or the extreme Super Pac-Man.

The controller also opens up to store its A/V wires, so itll stay clean and neat on dads gaming shelf.

31. A Book Light He Can Use Anywhere

Amazon

LuminoLite Rechargeable LED Book Light, $15, Amazon

If your dad cant put a book down at bedtime,get him this book lightand save your mom from another sleepless night. The four LED lights are incredibly strong for their size and the lamp can clip anywhere. Dont worry about finding weird little batteries, this light is fully USB rechargeable. Plus, its super light, so dad can take it on trips and keep up his midnight reading wherever he goes.

32. A Foldable Exercise Bike That Dad Can Take Anywhere

Amazon

Stamina InStride Folding Cycle, $25, Amazon

Its tough to stay active when you work at a desk, so if your dad is looking to add a little exercise to his work day, get him this foldable bike. This cycle fits under the desk and folds away for easy carrying or storage. Whether you want a light ride or some heavy tension, the bike offers different resistance levels.

With its sturdy rubber base, your dad wont have to worry about the cycle slipping around as hes riding. Plus, theres an electric monitor so dad can accurately brag about his long work time workouts.

33. A Magnetic Wristband For Dads Workshop

Amazon

Mag-Band Magnetic Wristband, $10, Amazon

If I bought my dad a bracelet, he wouldnt be thrilled. But, if I bought him a magnetic wristband that makes working with tools even easier, hed be cool with it. This wristband features powerful magnets that can hold screws, nails, nut, bolts, basically all the small things that typically fall on the floor when your dads trying to work. Now, he can keep all the bits at hand and not have to worry about searching the floor for the one tiny washer he desperately needs.

34. A Portable Green So Dad Can Putt Anywhere

Amazon

Putt-A-Bout Grassroots Putting Green, $33, Amazon

This isnt a scientific fact, but from my experience, pretty much every dad loves golf. My dad always hated the sport growing up, but now he picks vacation spots based on who has the best course. So, give your dad a chance to practice more often with this portable putting green.

With three practice cups and built in sand traps to keep your putts from going all over the place, your dad will get a chance to seriously up his skills. Plus, its made from lightweight foam, so its easy to carry and only takes seconds to install.

35. A Robot To Clean YourFloors

Amazon

ILIFE V3s Robotic Vacuum Cleaner with Smart Auto Cleaning, $159, Amazon

Ive never met a dad wholoves cleaning the floors, butIve met a lot of dads who love robots. Finally, its all come together with this robot vacuum cleaner. It vacuums, sweeps, dry mops, and removes pet hair all while youre sitting on the couch. When the battery runs out, the robot automatically goes back to its charging station and uses smart sensors so it doesnt fall down the stairs or bump into everything.

Best of all, your dad will feel like hes living in the future with this robot helper automatically cleaning his floors.

Elite Daily may receive a portion of sales from products purchased from this article, which was created independently from Elite Dailys editorial and sales departments.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/07/genius-gifts-for-dads-who-say-they-dont-want-anything/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/07/07/genius-gifts-for-dads-who-say-they-dont-want-anything/