#farter shy

[lilsnifferman]

Shy female farters

Am I the only one who would find hot the situation when a shy girl accidentally farted right in front of me and then desperately tried to cover it up, hoping I won't notice it, but the smell is so overwhelming and seems to linger forever? 🥹

Really? Are you that girl? Cool! 🤩 I predict you also spend a lot of time alone in your bedroom, secretly enjoying your own fart fumes while doing your own stuff, especially when they're intensive, don't you? I know you love so much the feeling every time your stomach rumbles and tenses a bit painfully for a second just to experience moment later this amazing relief when bad gas comes out of your body, leaving the sensation of satisfying warmth in the back side of your pants. 🤤

Maybe you're also the one who'd be eager to share your toots with someone else (me?), but you're too shy to ask? 😇

I know you do! And hey, there's nothing wrong in it! I just want you to know that you're free to do it all anytime! 😘

[satansforbiddenpleasures]

so i'm a shy farter irl and I've been living with my bestie's family since September and it hasn't been an issue until now. I've been so fucking bloated and gassy all week and I can't bring myself to rip a fart around my friend even though we've been friends for like 10+ years. pls send help, my guts are killing me 😩😘

[downforthegas]

Fart kink asks (all 25 bc why not)

Woah uhhhh damn thank you so much!!! I'm glad I can finally answer the questions I've always wanted to!!! Here we go:

When did you realize you were into farts? Age 16 when I first learned how to touch myself

How did you figure out you were into farts? Probably fart jokes in shows, you know how it goes (live action scooby doo movie ruined a generation lol)

What’s your favorite type of fart? Quite a lot. Bubbly, wet, bassy, rumbly, silent, squeaky, etc. The kind that smell awful, like rotten cheese, milk, or eggs

Are there any types of fart you don’t like? Of course not. Farts are farts. Even the short, quiet ones have their charm

What about farting do you find most appealing? Probably the smell but sound is really hot too. As for the types of farter, I'm a big fan of embarrassment, but confidence is also suuuuper hot depending on what I'm in the mood for

Do you have a preferred length or volume for farts? I mean not really but I find myself fantasizing about long farts. Even hyperfarts that last for hours maybe even days on end (i guess I do have a preferred length lol). As for volume, any is fine, but if it's long, its extra hot if its bubbly and quiet or silent

Does farting turn you on on its own or do you need to already be in the mood? Farting can turn me on in an instant like a switch

Do you have any other digestion-related kinks? Ooh so many. Burps, piss (I think that counts), scat, and vomit (but not for real, just in my head). Even general stomach issues like bloating and indigestion and even heart burn are hot

Do you have any other kinks that you enjoy being paired with farting? Farts and burps, farts and bloating, farts and scat, farts and spanking, farts and tying up, ugh the possibilities are endless

Is farting a must in sexual situations or is it more of a bonus? It's sort of a must but I don't want it to be. I try to get off to regular stuff with my partners (we still do farts stuff too), and I do but its hard bc its always been farts I've touched myself to. But I'm willing to change. Besides, not using farts helps me last longer

Have you ever acted on your desires IRL in an explicitly kinky manner? With myself? Yes. Not yet with my partners though

Is having a partner who can fart well important to you? Not really but it's nice when you have it, like I do right now hehe

Does anyone you personally know know about your kink? Two of my friends, one I still talk to. They're both really accepting. I think I told my sister but she was probably so traumatized, she forgot lol

Has anyone ever noticed/suspected your kink without you telling them about it? Not yet. Thank god though. Maybe my sis is getting suspicious but I'm not sure (if she really did forget)

Is there any media that you enjoy specifically for farts in it? Not a specific media in particular (I imagine my faves farting more if they're from medias with no fart jokes) but I do like looking at fart comps on youtube, mostly from cartoons

Do you have a favorite farting-related content creator (on tumblr or otherwise)? For fart models, I love Love Rachelle, Selena Loca, Santana Redd, Emma Ink, and Natasha F. For artists, there's too many to list but I love a lot of twitter artists like Carafalsa, ProButtonMasher, GasTank, and Solloros. For people on Tumblr, I love @sweetbubblies for their ocs. They include a lot of hyperfart stuff and I think they got me into diaper stuff. @grossgeck is awesome too. They're extra weird like me and it makes me feel less alone in this community

Would you ever consider recording your farts? Oh I recorded SO MANY of my farts and posted some here.

Are you a shy farter or do you fart freely? Depends who I'm around. Around fam? Strangers? Friends? no. Best friends and lovers? Yes but I get a little hesitant with best friends hehe

Are you good at farting? Uhhh well my farts smell bad and some can be like 5 seconds so I guess I'm good. But I'm EXCELLENT at pumped farts. I can fart on command and I can suck in a lot of air

Do you prefer farting yourself or hearing others fart? Either way I'm happy lol

Have you ever gotten into trouble for farting in a place or situation where you shouldn’t have? Ooh not yet but I have fantasized about trying that in a public setting somewhere. I am into humiliation after all

Have you ever gotten turned on by farting in an inconvenient place or situation? Again, no, but it turns me on to think about

Have you ever tried to make yourself gassy in order to fart? Oh I kinda do it all the time! Whether it's with food, chocolate milk (my love) and pumping air in me

Do you have any favorite foods or drinks for encouraging farting? Spicy foods, leafy green veggies, super greasy foods, and chocolate milk/regular milk

What’s your biggest fantasy involving farting? Me and both my current partners are gassy and they can both fart freely around me, but I have to have a plug in me until they say I'm allowed to pull it out. If we're having sex, I'm not allowed to take it out until I cum. Maybe they make me take it out in public so I'm forced to fart in front of a bunch of people. Or they need to be in the hot tub after sex. But there's no hot tub. But hey, there's enough bubbles in my system to make it one

[soupy-hotel]

15, 18, and 25 for the fart ask!! <3

15. Is there any specific media you enjoy for the farts in it?

hmm... currently no :( there is a huge lack of girl farts in media. but back in the day? definitely total drama, theyd actually commit to girls ripping it.

18. Are you a shy farter or do you fart freely?

im definitely a shy farter LOL i barely fart in front of anyone unless its for shock value.

25. What's your biggest fantasy involving farting?

hmm.... definitely having a fart contest with another girl. maybe after a buffet where we're super gassy, and then after winning i get to fart on her as a prize. yeah thatd be nice..

[7kbuttcheeks2]

12, 15, 18 from the fart ask

Is having a partner who can fart well important to you?

I'll only say no because I'd probably love any guy who'd fart around me regardless of "good" or not. My straight friend usually has awesome rips but there's a good "meh" ones too, same with me.

Is there any media that you enjoy specifically for farts in it?

Not really, no. Embarrassing answer would be a really bad cartoon Rocket Monkeys that had a ton of butt and fart jokes. I remember also liking My Gym Partner's a Monkey as a kid for the excessive butt gags.

Are you a shy farter or do you fart freely?

I only fart freely in front of guy friends. We all like to announce each others haha

[toadallytickles]

This is really random and ever since I joined the tickle community I've always wondered this but been to afraid to ask. I also don't see posts about this like ever, probably because it's super embarrassing.

But how do people deal with farting when it comes to tickling? Some of the positions people are tickled in, I'm like surely they ended up farting at some point. Even being tickled casually I've known people to do it 🤣.

I'm just curious in knowing how Lers feel about it. And also because I may be having my first session soon and it's one thing I'm worried about as a lee.

You are so right! This never gets talked about, when I’m sure everyone who has played and/or has a partner has delt with farts! I still remember the first time Clay farted during a session~ (〃˘▽˘ʃƪ)💕

Farting is a natural bodily function that we all do- and sometimes it happens during play! It can be embarrassing in the moment, though a mature play partner will understand it’s natural and will laugh it off with you and get back to the scene, maybe even playfully “punish” you for disrupting such a serious moment~. It’s not a big deal if someone farts. It’s just a natural bodily thing; the same with burping, stomach growls, washroom accidents, boners, lactating, sweating, vomiting, menstruating. It’s a body, it may happen!

If my perspective as a Ler can be of help, I think farts are hilarious and I will laugh at the fart, not at you! And if you’re that embarrassed, we can definitely take a break from play for reassurance and time to get back into the headspace. It’s seriously fine, it’s not the end of the world or our relationship if you or I fart during a session~. (Yes, Lers fart too!)

Have a great first session if it works out!! ❤️

[moxfirefly]

Ive come to annoy you and ask for embarrising headcannons of the turtle boys mwhaha

Pfffffft please, ask away as much as you like my friend.

So let’s see, embarrassing hc’s with the lads?

• Class A klutz right here, for a ninja he really do be tripping and breaking shit pretty easily

• it’s why Raph had the top bunk, Mikey would just straight up roll off and fall in the middle of the night

• MUST be surperviced while in Donnie’s lab

• (this is a rick and morty joke I love but I can so see it happening) says Granite instead of GranTED

• ���wow we really can’t take life for granite”

• cue Donnie looking into the camera like in The Office

• has definitely rubbed his eyes after chopping up jalapeños

• at least four times... (it’s happened to me... 😬)

• spontaneous boners at the worst times

• thinks nobody is gonna find his nudey mags under the mattress

• guess what: everyone has, Mikey please

• gets caught wanking off the most

• nervous farter™️

• oh boy does this precious boy get stuck places

• hallways, windows, vents, a bathroom stall

• him big™️

• knocks stuff over

• knows his strengh buuuuut has had incidents, namely made Mikey cry once or twice, felt AWFUL

• when that growth spurt hit did it hit my man

• def clogged the toilet one too many times (mikey’s chili is not to be trifled with my god)

• does not want to watch Disney movies...he will cry 🥺 hates to cry in front of anybody (honestly Raph is baby)

• still has his baby blanket

• yes still sleeps with it especially if he sad™️

• once swallowed his toothpick

• he fights so much with Leo cause deep down that’s his role model and he wants to be like him but he knows he’s too stubborn and Leo drives him up the wall too much for him to admit it

• wants to be the little spoon lowkey 🥺

• cried during his first tattoo and “no Donnie nobody will believe you”

• angry cryer™️

• hi he’s needy

• I’m serious, he hates to even fathom it but he is Needy™️

• he loves being babied

• used to ask for extra hugs and kisses when he was little

• was afraid of the dark

• the “dad can I sleep with you tonight?” Kid

• will not even boil water correctly, not the family cook nope nope

• drools when he’s k.o’d in bed

• prefers to read smut instead of watch it, has some spicy romance novels hidden away, prays nobody finds it

• high key admires himself, randomly will flex while looking at himself in the mirror gets all shy when he’s caught

• nervous puker™️

• nervous talker™️

• seriously he rambles on when he’s high key nervous

• the high pitch screamer when scared

• if he makes it to bed, needs to hold something to sleep. Probs has a body pillow, boy dreams about falling a sleep on titties

• accidentally left some x rated stuff on one of the monitors while explaining something about surveillance footage, Leo cleared his throat like 9 times

• speaking off, pls knock before entering the lab, please please knock 🤦‍♀️

• once ate coffee grounds while working on a a project, he was close to a breakthrough ok

• grumpy grump in the morning will be found scratching his butt while the coffee brews

• sings in the shower

• once had a sexy dream with April, couldn’t look her in the eye for a week

[nad-zeta]

Headcanon: How the boys and MC farts

Ayeeeeee love got a really hilarious idea and I really hope it is not offensive lol??? like… um …. how warlords and MC fart I guess?? like o boi dats awkward LOLOL; just had the shitty(note the pun) idea and cant stop asking you hehee

Hi hi, love! 🌻😳Thank you so much for the request and omw I was dying laughing when I first read this idea hehe! 😂❤I hope you enjoy love and I hope you have the best day! 😂😂

Nobunaga

Just like the powerful commander he is, his farts are loud and proud

Will shamelessly fart in front of EVERYBODY during the war councils

“What’s that sound My lord.” Mitsunari asked confused by the loud thunderous sound ripping through the council room

“That would be the sound of my fart.” (¬‿¬)

“Oh, well it is quite majestic my Lord” (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Has no shame about letting one rip

That would definitely make this commander a confident farter

Masamune

I think Masamune is the Prompt farter

This warlord clown always has one locked away and ready to go

Just say the word and he will let one rip without a second thought 

His farts are also loud and proud

Will 9/10 time fart on Mitsuhide when he is busy losing at a battle of wits against the sneaky boi, kinda like how an older sibling would fart in a younger sibling’s face… you know for laughs

Also loves to compete with other peoples farts, if someone farts near him he will smile that mischievous smile of his, “Challenge accepted”

Mitsunari

Mitsunari is a strategic farter

He is the type that would let one rip and then smile like it never happened

His farts are actually pretty cute and angelic sounding

His Celestial Farts are soft and delicate, it is just a very small clear fart with no odour at all

Like a little toot

Ieyasu

We have a dishonest farter here

He will legit fart and then blame the nearest person or animal

“Pttttffftt”

“Hey, Masamune can you not fart so close to me.”

“Lad, that didn’t even sound like one of my farts, this is what my farts sound like.”

“PPPPPTTTTTFFFFFFTTTTTTFFF”

After he has eaten a particularly spicy meal this boy’s farts will be dead silent but VIOLENT!

It slipped out so quickly and silently, yet had the power to kill an army

Hideyoshi

Hideyoshi is an honest farter

He wouldn’t be particularly proud of his farts like Masamune or Nobu, but he also won’t shy away from admitting that he farted

Especially when he is drunk

Lets one slip during war council

It comes out like a medium toot

“Oooh excuse me, I just farted”

Will walk over to the window to crack it open, even though it doesn’t really stink

If he is drunk, he will definitely partake in a farting contest with Masamune

Mitsuhide

These farts come out like the sound of a snek

Sssssssssssssssst

“Mitsuhide did you just sis or was that a fart.”

“Golly me, whatever could you be talking about, little mouse.”

He is a disappointed farter, he will give off, soft farts with no odour.

No matter how hard he tries to fart as loudly as his fellow warlords, they always just seem to just fizz out.

This fart can only be classified as one thing a dud fart, and it usually leaves the farter feeling a little disappointed.

Kenshin

Kenshin is one of those classified under the snart

The only time bunny boy farts is when he sneezes or when you tickle him, and he is laughing too much

Like Mitsuhide and Mitsunari, his farts comes across as soft and graceful just like him

It kind of reminds you of a little bunny sneeze

One day Shingen felt like messing with Kenshin and tickled his nose with a feather to make him sneeze, and that’s when it happened

One little fart slipped lose

The warlords couldn’t tell if the bunny on Kenshin’s lap had sneezed or if it was a fart

Either way, it brought tears to their eyes, their lord was so graceful amd cute in everything he does

Otherwise, bunny boi is classified as a miserable farter, those who are simply unable to fart

Yukimura

This boy is 100% a shy and nervous farter

He will let one rip loud and proud when he is alone, but in company, the farts come out bit for bit

He is someone who would stop mid fart if he senses someone coming

During banquets, this boy will start to feel the fart coming on

“pt,pt,pt-pt,pt-pt-pt,pop,pop-pop-pop-POW!”

Finally relief.... until

“Do you guy smell something.” Sasuke very dramatically gasps for air 

Cue Yukimura going super red

“N-no, here try these sticky buns,” Yuki will legit stuff Sasuke’s face with food to distract him from the fact that he just farted

Shingen

Daddy Shingen is definitely a clever farter

He has to be, when he is trying to flirt with and impress the ladies

Will be someone who coughs and farts at the same time, just to mask the fact that he farted

Or he will wait for the perfect moment when Kenshin slams his fist on the table in frustration, at the fact that, no one is willing to fight with him during the banquet

If his farts had to be something, it would be a rusty gate fart

As in, it will sound like the driest and squeaky fart sound you have ever heard

Sasuke

This boy staying true to science, is a scientific farter

He will mostly be one of those who keep their farts in a jar and then use it to make deadly smoke bombs

He has a skillsaw kind of fart, the kind that vibrates the farter, as it gets released.

It shakes him up while people back away slowly, kinda low key sounds like an electric saw ripping through wood.

“Sasuke, dude did you just fart.”

“Of course, releasing pent up gas is healthy, plus now I have some fresh gas to use for my newest smoke bomb.”

“You are seriously gross man.”

MC

You are classified as a foolish farter

The one who lowkey keeps their farts in when you are in public

Will let it rip when in the comfort of your own presence, but when in front of the warlords

You will suck that fart so far up your ass, lest you want to be teased for days

Especially after the one time, you farted in front of the kitsune

“Hey, Mitsu did you smell something.” you asked super innocently 

“I believe that is the smell of your farts, smelly little mouse, perhaps you shouldn’t have eaten those beans last night.” (¬‿¬)

“I have no idea what you are talking about Mitsu, I was talking about the smell of those flowers over there, unless you want to confess that it was, in fact, you that farted” (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞

“Hmmm, the fox smells his own hole, my dear.” (◕‿◕✿)

Mitus smirked as he gave you one final head pat and retreated back for some fresh air

I hope you enjoyed it dear! ❤❤🌻

[i-love-videogames-okay]

All fart asks from 1 to 25 (Jill)

1. When did you realize you were into farts? “Well it actually always *urppp* turned me on *fffrrttrr* it was not till I was in infected with the slob virus I really started to *urppp* stared to love them

2. How did you figure out you were into farts? Same answer as before *urppp* 

3. What’s your favorite type of fart? I’m a slob I *urppp* love all but *fffrrttt* wet, stinky ones are my favourite. 

4. Are there any types of fart you don’t like? No

5. What about farting do you find most appealing? Every thing now so the smell, sound, ect... but before I was a slob I loved the smell it turned me on

6. Do you have a preferred length or volume for farts? Yes and not *ffrrrt* as it all about the smell but I like long fart *fffrrrttt* to bad I can’t do them

7. Does farting turn you on on its own or do you need to already be in the mood? The virus made it so I get turn on when I fart which is like *fffrrrt* every second. I get even more turned on by others

8. Do you have any other digestion-related kinks? Burps as I can’t stop *bbrruup* Sweating as I love my sweat and love licking and getting people to lick my armpits. I like almost every like beside scat and pooping as I don’t go any more as the virus makings that has into farts.

9. Do you have any other kinks that you enjoy being paired with farting? Sex and farting. Kissing and farting. Burps and farting

10. Is farting a must in sexual situations or is it more of a bonus?

Must from me, and a must if my partner is gassy. If there not it is a not a must as I like all kind of boys and girls

11. Have you ever acted on your desires IRL in an explicitly kinky manner?  of course I fart every where and with fart in most people faces on purpose 

12. Is having a partner who can fart well important to you? Like I said yes if it’s a girl. But no for a guy 

13. Does anyone you personally know know about your kink? Every about as I don’t hide it I got my name legally changed to slobby Jill valentine 

14. Has anyone ever noticed/suspected your kink without you telling them about it? Again I’m a slob *urppp* blob that fart and burps almost every second 

15. Is there any media that you enjoy specifically for farts in it? Does watch my recording of my fart, and burps count 

16. Do you have a favorite farting-related content creator (on tumblr or otherwise)? My self *fffffffffrrrrrrffffrrrttff*

17. Would you ever consider recording your farts? I do all the time and if you want the recording just ask 

18. Are you a shy farter or do you fart freely? Freely

19. Are you good at farting? Yes but you should find out for you self just ask Jill fart for me

20. Do you prefer farting yourself or hearing others fart? Both as I like farting better but other girls fart turn me on. Like I said I love guy for sex but not farting or being fat

21. Have you ever gotten into trouble for farting in a place or situation where you shouldn’t have? Like I said I fart every where and in every one face but because of the virus they act turn people on who do like farts

22. Have you ever gotten turned on by farting in an inconvenient place or situation? Like I said all the time I have even had public sex once because how horny I was

23. Have you ever tried to make yourself gassy in order to fart? Every day.

24. Do you have any favorite foods or drinks for encouraging farting? Beans, gassy drinks, tacos, burrito, etc...

25. What’s your biggest fantasy involving farting? A fat gassy girl like me, become friends make out and fart, burp one each other. (This is some I would love rp with someone so like me know)

[marriedtothewriting]

She Is Taken

Lee Donghae x Reader | Fluff | Actor AU | Requested

Summary: You and Donghae had kept your dating a secret from everyone, but will happen when his members tease you and your co-worker.

Word Count: 1621

-

It was a normal workday in the set of the newest drama you were acting in. Another more romantic one including some dangerous situations. You were acting the love interest of the main character, who was acted by Choi Siwon. Your and his relationship as co-workers was nothing new as you two had shared some other movies and TV-shows, however, this time was the first time you played his lover. And it’s not like you felt too weird about it since you and Siwon were good friends over all and you felt comfortable working with him.

   As the shooting had ended, Siwon came to you and patted your shoulder once. You smiled at him.

   “Good work”, he said. “You’re a great actress, I feel like we only need one take with you.”

   You chuckled at his comment. “Thanks, but I think you overestimate me a tad.”

   Siwon let out a warm laugh, ending it with his charming smile. You two shared a moment of silence until he looked like something just came to his mind.

   “Oh right”, he took your attention. “I wanted to ask if you had some time tonight. I am going to meet up with my friends and I’d like for you to meet them.”

   “You mean Super Junior?” You raised your brow. Siwon nodded his head.

   Considering your friendship, it was surprising you hadn’t seen his friends and fellow members of the boy group he was in, Super Junior. Well, except for one.

   “Sure”, you answered. “I am free tonight.”

   A gentle smile formed on Siwon’s lips and he nodded once as an agreement. He gave you the time and the address, before saying farewells.

-

It was the evening.

   You sat on the back seat of a taxi that drove you to a rather familiar looking place. You weren’t sure how fancy you should be, so you picked your one dress that would never go wrong. A simple dark green dress that just covered your knees, hugging your body in the right places, the collar was a little open and the shoulders bare, but it didn’t look too revealing, nor too expensive.

   You took your phone out of your bag, quickly texting Siwon how you had arrived in front of the address he had given you. He replied a quick “I’ll meet you outside.”

   You stepped out of the taxi after paying the driver, and soon after you saw the smile of your friend, Siwon. He was wearing a rather casual suit outfit, making you feel slightly overdone, but then again, you wanted to look your best.

   He walked to you. “Glad you could make it.”

   “Of course.” You shot him a smile. “I am very eager to meet the famous Super Junior.”

   Siwon chuckled, offering his arm to you. You hooked yours around his arm, just figuring that as a friendly gesture.

   “You look very lovely”, he commented.

   “Thank you”, you replied. “You look very lovely yourself.”

   He nodded his head and thanked you while you two walked inside the building you actually knew quite well. You had been there many times.

   You and Siwon walked the stairs, in front of a door you again knew very well. “Lee”. You smirked to yourself, wondering what he would think. You hadn’t told him Siwon asked you to join them.

   Sure enough, when the door opened, a familiar handsome face of a certain Nemo smiled brightly. Until his eyes fixed on you, and that’s when his eyes opened wide.

   Siwon raised his eyebrow as he watched his bandmate stare at you like he had seen a ghost, which you imagine it felt to the very confused Donghae.

   “Donghae?” someone behind him asked. The other man looked at you and Siwon, a smile bright on his face.

   “Siwon!” he said and opened his arms, to which Siwon reacted by hugging him.

   “Hyung”, he replied happily.

   You pressed your lips together as you felt Donghae still staring at you, but this time his eyes were narrowed like he was glaring at you like a little kid. You took all of your willpower to not hug him tightly and give him a loving kiss.

   Donghae and you had been dating for a while, but due to you both being under a spotlight, you had decided to keep it a secret, from everyone. That included his bandmates, and even his best friend Eunhyuk.

   “Siwon”, the other man spoke. “Is this your co-worker you spoke about?”

   Siwon turned to look at you, smiling wide. “Yes, she is the best in what she does”, he spoke highly of you. You giggled lightly and noticed how Donghae gave a slight side-glare to Siwon.

   “This is Lee Hyukjae”, Siwon patted the shoulder of the other man. “And that is Lee Donghae.”

  Donghae didn’t move, but you tried to play along and nod your head as if it was your first time meeting.

   “Aish, she is really pretty”, Eunhyuk said and then smiled at you. “You look really lovely. I hope Siwon is taking good care of you.”

   You raised your brow at his last comment, wanting to ask more what he meant by it, but you were interrupted by some loud noises coming farter back from the apartment. It sounded like the whole place was filled. The group really lived up to their name, you thought. You had been very eager to meet them, but Donghae was always a little shy.

   You closed the door and walked further in, however, Donghae grabbed your arm and pulled you back lightly. Gladly, Eunhyuk and Siwon were not facing you two and were too occupied with greeting rest of the members.

   “What are you doing here?” Donghae whispered.

   “Siwon asked me to join”, you explained. “Did you expect me to refuse?”

   “You could’ve told me...” he said.

   “I think it’s more realistic like this.” You smiled, quickly giving him a sneaky peck on his cheek. “Like we met the first time.”

   Donghae sighed but nodded. What could go wrong?

   “Is fishy trying to steal your woman?” you hear a loud, obnoxious voice. You looked up at the source, seeing a very beautiful man with an amused smirk on his plump lips. No questions about it, this was Kim Heechul.

   Siwon chuckled nervously. “No hyung, she is not- We are just friends.”

   You side-glanced Donghae, who looked very tense. You very sneakily squeezed his hand behind his back to make him relax, which he did. Your touch was enough to make all of his worries wash away.

   “Sure, sure”, Heechul kept teasing.

   You and Donghae joined the others and you chuckled.

   “No, we are really just co-workers”, you explained the situation. Donghae nodded his head lightly, but no one really noticed.

   “Pfff, like you would tell us”, Eunhyuk joined the teasing.

   “Don’t you two play your romantic interests in the new drama?” Heechul asked with his grin widening.

   “That doesn’t mean anything!”

   Everyone in the room looked at your left, seeing a very heated Donghae. He soon understood what he had nearly yelled and his whole face heated up clearly.

   “I mean... just because they act, doesn’t mean they’re together...”

   “And why are you suddenly acting so weirdly?” the loud Heechul kept asking.

   “Just leave them be, Heechul”, another man shook his head. He looked like the father of the group, surely being the leader Leeteuk.

   “But don’t you think they would make a good couple?” Eunhyuk asked. “Is there going to be a kissing scene??”

   You sighed internally. Donghae looked at you with wide eyes. Another thing you hadn’t told him yet.

   “Yes”, you answered. “But we haven’t shot that scene yet.”

   The guys just said “ooh” in unison, making Siwon facepalm and apologize to you, and Donghae, as expected, was very tensed.

   You shook your head. Maybe this was a bad idea. Poor Donghae.

   “You should go on a date so it would be more realistic when you kiss!” someone added.

   “Just date, you would be a power couple”, another one said.

   Siwon scratched the back of his head, realizing he couldn’t stop their teasing. You opened your mouth to say something, but before you could, Donghae looked determined and spoke.

   “No they can’t date”, he said with a confident voice.

   All of you looked at him with weird looks. But Donghae, he looked very serious.

   “Why not?” Eunhyuk asked with a confusing tone.

   “Because she is taken”, Donghae kept his voice firm.

   “Hae...” you whispered.

   “And how would you know? By who?” Heechul asked, crossing his arms.

   Donghae smirked, wrapping his arm around your waist, pulling you close to him. “By me.”

   The whole room went silent. You could feel all the eyes on you. You looked down to the floor, feeling slightly embarrassed until you heard Siwon call your name.

   “Is this true?” he asked.

   You smiled at him and the rest of the members, nodding your head. “Yes. Hae and I are dating.”

   Donghae smiled wide, kissing your cheek lightly. Then the whole room was filled with noise as all of the guys were talking at the same time, asking questions from you two.

   You shook your head, but chuckled, looking at your boyfriend with a raised brow.

   “What?” he said. “I just couldn’t stand not talking about my beautiful girlfriend.”

   “Sure”, you smirked. “You totally weren’t jealous.”

   Donghae shook his head, a smile on his face. “Nope. Never.”

   You simply smiled at him, looking into his brown eyes. All the noises in the background faded as it was just you and him. You leaned up and kissed Donghae sweetly, not having a care in the world.

   As you leaned away, you whispered: “I love you”. To which he replied, “I love you more.”

~

Anonymous: “ Hey , luv :) Can I request for an imagine where the reader is an actress and has been currently dating Donghae for a while now . However , no one including the members knew about both your relationship until your co-worker, Siwon decides to bring you over to meet the members and they keep on teasing you with Siwon and this has caused Donghae to get a little jealous and decides to just put it out on the table . Sorry if the request is too long and specific 😅😅 Thank you and have a good day 😜 “

[aiweirdness]

Ten new applications for neural networks

Neural networks are machine learning algorithms that are very good at solving tough problems - they’re used for language translation, facial recognition, and financial management. I, however, have been training them on silly datasets. 

Here are some of my favorite experiments from the last year.

Naming guinea pigs

In a possible first for the field of machine learning, a neural network named rescue guinea pigs for the Portland Guinea Pig Rescue and Morris Animal Refuge. Some of the names they used, and some of them they did not.

Popchop Fuzzable Spockers Trickles Farter

Then I mixed the guinea pig names with the names of death metal bands, and got names such as:

Death Snifs Fuzzy Night Dark Darn

Naming kittens

Not to be outdone by the guinea pigs, AFK Cat Rescue of Huntsville, Alabama asked me to name some rescue kittens. Some of the names were great, and others not so much:

Mr. Tinkles Retchion Pish Toot

Inventing magic spells 

I trained a neural network twice on Dungeons and Dragons spells, and once on spells from Harry Potter. See if you can figure out which list is which.

Chorus of the dave Song of the doom goom Barking Sphere Gland Growth Hold Mouse

Hurder-gerping Charm Regrowing hair to curse of the Bogies Brechaim hedbivicus Doobers Spell Fubbledory Charm Squggly-wing fart

And please read these hilarious descriptions of neural network D&D spells.

Naming beers

The craft beer industry is running short on names, and expensive lawsuits result when two breweries use the same name. Now we have many more.

Dang River Yamquak Borb! Snot Beard Pimperdiginistic the Blacksmith with Cherry

And now there’s a real beer, first ever named by neural network: The Fine Stranger

Naming your next band

It helps if you like sharks.

Shark Gordon The Shark Singers The Shark Charles Tony Shark

Or if you’re a metal band, there’s a special list just for you.

Inhuman Sand Chaosrug Stormgarden Staggabash Sun Damage Omen

Curing writer’s block

Need a title for your story?

Under the Daleks Pirates: A Fight Dance Story Batman and Flancles: The Fun Tree The Star Wars: The Santa Contact American Midnight: Swear Dragon

Or need a way to start it?

“I am forced to write to my neighbors about the beast.” Her mother was packing by the black anthill. The sun was probably for his wife. Stop! I caused the Narguuse man who was new on Alabama, the screaming constipated eggs.

Assassination plots

It’s a really bad idea to follow the neural network’s cooking advice. Its cake recipes will also not result in cake.

1 cup cherry seeds 42 cup milk Preheat oven to 3500  8 minutes. Sprout clams; add vanilla.

Choosing your next Halloween costume

Fairy Batman? Sexy Pumpkin Pirate? Princess Shark? Professor Panda?

You may be the only one dressed this way at your next Halloween party.

Inventing new ponies

I trained a neural network to invent new My Little Ponies, but not all of them were presentable.

Raspberry Turd Derdy Star Starly Star Blue Cuss

Inventing new paint colors

I trained a neural network to generate paint colors and name them. Then, with a larger dataset, I tried again and it did a bit better. But you may not see these as the next color of the year:

Parp Green Shy Bather Farty Red Bull Cream

[zendenera]

My memory lane : Part 2

Oh dear friend, would you hold her hand? as she opens op, look in the corners long forgotten?

The shy girl showed for school No intention of being popular or cool. I don’t understand, what I ever did do wrong? Was it the way I walked, talked? I just wanted to belong.

Lunch break, I need back up. All their harmful words. The quiet girl begs them to stop. Due to my ‘sassy’ mouth. I deserve a beat up. 

Sand in my hair and mouth. Smothering every attempt to shout. The teacher saw, no doubt.

My mother dropped me off at school. ‘Don’t let them get to you’ My farter taught me self defense. Guess how that story came to end. I ended up in the principals office. It didn’t stop any of it.

8 years of hurt and torment. No one offered the quiet girl a friend. A freak of society made from their hatred to me. I wonder, who that shy girl would have grown to be.

Every morning I still try and tell myself ‘just be you’ ‘well wauw…. How’s that been working for you dude?’ ‘Don’t listen, the other one is always rude’

- Engsted

[downforthegas]

2, 3, 18, 19 from kinks ask please 😇

2. How did you figure out you were into farts?

Well I'm not sure when I exactly figured it out. I know I was looking at a lot of fart art on deviantart when I was a kid (I can thank griffenbeastie/carafalsa for that... but maybe not an*mated J*mes, he's not a good guy, but anyway). I didn't realize I even had a fart fetish until I finally figured out how to touch myself (idk why it took me so long to figure it out, but I used to be too impatient to work my way up to an orgasm). But yeah it wasn't until I finally touched myself to fart stuff (it was one of those audios with the fart art as the picture) that I finally realized I had the fetish lol

3. What’s your favorite type of fart?

Oh god there's so many types. But man low, bassy, rumbly farts that drone on are really good, especially in jeans or against a bed or a couch. Wet farts are super hot too. I really like seeing those in white pants (cause it makes me think something else is gonna happen🥴🥴🥴). Ooh and I also really like squeaky farts and farts that sound kinda cartoony. And little quick, loud braps and small airy toots. Speaking of airy I also like those farts that sound like a mix of airy and wet uugh. OOH but I'm also a BIG fan of silent farts. There's just something about a hot hiss from a hole that stinks to high heaven that really turns me on hehehehe

18. Are you a shy farter or do you fart freely?

It depends really. I can do it around pretty much anyone except my family. I guess cause subconsciously I see it as a sexual thing hehe my brain is wired weirdly. But yeah I mainly fart freely around my friends, especially my bf and gf (yes, there's two partners, cause I'm twice as cool), and the people in the discord server I'm in bc there into farts there too. I can fart on command and I got to uhhh ahem show that off to the server in vc chat. I don't think many here are into pumped farts so I don't really show it here, but yeah I love farting freely in front of them, especially my gf cause she looooves farts hehe

19. Are you good at farting?

Uhhhh well I guess I'm pretty decent with my natural farts but when it comes to my on command farts, hooooo boy, they are something else. I'm really good at controlling my hole and making them come out as wet or as loud as I want. I can make them silent if I want, and the more I do it on command, the wetter they get on their own hehe and sometimes if I take in too much air, I'll accidently fart if I press on my stomach (I start having a gas leak uuugh)

link to the ask post

[junker-town]

Thanks to the Covid-19 pandemic, we now know Tuukka Rask has disgusting farts

Photo by John Tlumacki/The Boston Globe via Getty Images

Pro tip: Don’t sit behind Tuukka Rask. He’s going to fart.

Zdeno Chara on Tuukka Rask's farts: "The smell is awful. He likes his chicken wings. After the chicken wings, I sit behind him on the bus — I gotta tell you, I've got to control myself sometimes." pic.twitter.com/P380ZaxZ7K

— Conor Ryan (@ConorRyan_93) March 30, 2020

Boston Bruins defenseman Zdeno Chara revealed during a video call that there’s one person he wouldn’t like to be quarantined with: teammate and goaltender Tuukka Rask. Why would he prefer literally anyone else as a quarantine buddy? Is it because they’re not compatible? Is one messy and the other is super neat? Nope.

It’s because of farts.

Rask apparently has the worst farts Chara has ever come across.

But it’s simply not because of one fart. If you’re known for farts, specifically bad ones, then that means you’re probably not shy about ripping one in front of others. Maybe you were shy about it during that first accidental toot. But after learning about the rancid power your wind possesses, you probably take pride in seeing those in proximity to you wince and clear the room.

And it turns out Rask isn’t shy about farting. When asked in 2014 about whether P.K. Subban has farted on him during games as a distraction (yes, that was a real question), Rask denied it, but admitted he usually does the farting. It sounds like Rask is a serial farter.

Thanks to Chara, we also know the possible source of the smell: chicken wings.

Zdeno Chara said he would least like to be quarantined with Tuukka Rask because of "the way he farts ... the smell is awful. He likes his chicken wings. Sometimes I have to sit behind him on the bus and I have to control myself sometimes." (This actually happened!)@NHLBruins

— Greg Wyshynski (@wyshynski) March 30, 2020

Not only that, but we also learn that he’s farting up the team bus.

During this coronavirus pandemic, we hope everyone stays at home, including Rask. We just hope he and his loved ones are practicing social distancing — mostly to prevent the spread of the virus, but also to avoid the stench of any putrid farts.

[peculiarmindset]

KNB Fart Headcanons

And here is my GOM fart headcanons (+Kagami)

Kise Ryouta: Kise may not be able to burp well, but this blonde can really FART. From squelching wet farts to silent but deadlies, Kise can fart it all. He does get shy about letting his farts out in public (hence why he tends to let out only SBD's when there are other people around) but he is SUPER proud of the time where he got into a farting contest with Aomine and actually managed to beat the other and become the ultimate winner. Aomine is still bitter about his loss (since it came with a cruel punishment) and Kise became more comfortable in passing gas in front of the GOM members- now he always giggles when he farts loudly whenever they all meet up, much to the other's annoyance.

Midorima Shintarou: Midorima rarely, if ever, passes gas in public. He has a strong hold on his intestinal gas and refuses to let any of it out unless he's in his bedroom or in a restroom. When he does pass gas, his farts are average- both in sound and smell. After the cola incident, Takao once again tried to urge Midorima to eat a huge serving of American baked beans (for good luck, of course). But to his disappointment, Midorima's hold on his farts was quite strong and although one did slip out, the fart itself was nothing special- quite pathetic actually.

Kagami Taiga: Kagami's farts are above-average. They're quite loud like a machine gun and very smelly like a dumpster. He actually tries very hard to keep his farts in whenever there are other people around and if he accidentally lets one out, he gets very embarrassed about it and tries to blame someone else on it. His farts get particularly bad whenever he eats Maji Burger. Surprisingly it's not the burgers that mess with his stomach, but Maji's French fries. That's why Kuroko tends to sit at least a foot away or on the opposite side from Kagami when they eat together and Kagami always makes sure to order only the small size fries.

Aomine Daiki: Even though Aomine's farts are not as impressive as his burps, they are still obnoxiously loud (like Kagami, they sound like a machine gun going off or a tiny bomb explosion) and smell like rotten eggs and dead animals. When it comes to passing gas, he's very loud and proud about it. And due to indigestion, he rather his gas to be out in the open then inside torturing his stomach. No matter where he is or who's around, when the familiar cramping feeling starts to happen in his belly, Aomine would lift his buttcheek up or bend forward and let it rip.

Murasakibara Atsushi: Murasakibara's farts are very deep and loud. Sometimes his farts start off soft before growing louder and louder until it sounds like a volcano had just erupted. And the smell is downright atrocious. He isn't very shy about his farts neither- during practice he would ask permission from Himuro that he needs to go out for a minute to fart. Himuro is amazed when he can actually hear the sound of what sounds like a foghorn sounding from outside. After a solid minute, Murasakibara would come back in and ask if there were any more snacks around that he could eat.

Akashi Seijuurou: Akashi is one, if not the, largest farter in this group. His stomach is actually very sensitive to most 'commoner' foods (This is due to the fact that his father pretty much banned fast foods from his diet at a young age so his stomach isn't used to burgers and pizzas and such) So after eating together at Maji Burger with his friends or having to eat anything that's less then 5-star cuisine, Akashi wouldn't even be able to hold his gas in long enough to even get home. As soon as he goes inside his car and rolls up the separation window between him and his driver, Akashi would then proceed to gas out the entire car (he'd make sure to open the ceiling roof of the car so the smell would dissipate before anyone would notice).

Kuroko Tetsuya: Kuroko is the master of the silent but deadly farts. His farts are the ones that everyone has to beware of because they would come at any given moment and since his farts make no sound, the victim would often be taken off guard by the rancid stench that would suddenly assault their nostrils. And Kuroko actually doesn't have any shame about his farts- but that has mostly to do with the fact that he has never been blamed or accused of farting ever. So as soon as he feels a fart coming on, Kuroko has no qualms of releasing it into the air (but it's due to this that Kagami- whose usually at Kuroko's side- is the one who gets blamed for Kuroko's farts instead XD).