#farmer kat

[hailtothepumpkinqueen]

Conversations at the Saloon Part 2 🍕🍺

(Part 1 here. Farmer and Shane talk after a rough interaction the day before. The dummies are bad at feelings and even worse at realizing what's brewing between them lol my farmer's last name is Miller and "my" Shane's last name is Cooper because I think it's funny, and so do they.)

"I'm doomed..." Clint sighed, almost certainly looking as crestfallen as she felt.

"Yeah...me, too..." She said softly, pushing off the table to get up from her seat. "Welp. This has been fun, but I'm gonna order my own food and head out. Good luck, Clint."

She didn't wait for a response, walking up to the bar(away from Shane) and plopping herself down on a stool. Waiting for Emily or Gus to notice her and looking anywhere but where Shane was sitting.

"Hey, Kitty Kat~" Emily chirped, bubbly as always. "What can I get you?"

"Hey, Em. Just a Joja Cola and something warm to eat. To go, please." Tapping her fingers anxiously on the wooden surface of the bar as she spoke. Not wanting to be here any longer than she had to be.

"Aww, c'mon. Stay awhile!" Emily pleaded, making puppy dog eyes and jutting her lip out in a mock pout. "I wanna hear what's going on on your farm! Or in the mines! I saw you talking to Clint earlier, so I assume it was mining related."

"Y-yeah. Yeah, I guess he could tell I'd been spelunking 'cause he was trying to sell me on a few upgrades for my stuff." She chuckled in what she hoped was a natural sounding way, giving a little shrug and resting her elbows on the counter. She'd rather eat raw bug meat than tell Emily that Clint had asked for dating advice. "Nothing exciting today, unfortunately. Just a lot of dirt and rocks. And exhaustion. I'm so tired, Em. I'm not used to this kind of manual labor. Buh."

She put her head down on the bar and exhaled dramatically, hearing a giggle from Emily...and possibly a snort from Shane. Or Gus. She couldn't tell with her head down, but some silly part of her hoped it was Shane. Why? Why did she want that? Maybe she was concussed..

"You're from the city, right?" Emily asked, setting a cola on the counter with a soft chuckle when she sat up straight again. "What made you want to give farming a try if it's so outside your wheelhouse?"

"Got tired of my old job. Needed fresh air and a fresh start, y'know?" She replied with a practiced nonchalance, feeling Shane's eyes on her practically boring a hole into the side of her head even from a distance. Because that was very much not the reason she had told him when they talked two nights ago. She pretended not to notice and took a sip of her cola, grateful for the cold drink on her dry throat. "And no better time to start over than Spring, right?"

"Exactly! Spring is the season of rebirth and renewal, the beginning of a cycle. Oooh, I love the idea of your new life growing right beside all the little saplings waking up from a long winter's sleep." Emily clapped her hands in joy, practically bouncing in place at the thought of it. "What were you doing before this?"

"Data entry clerk for Joja Co." She grimaced and took a swing of her soda like that would wash the bitter taste of her old job out of her mouth.

"So you were a desk monkey?" Shane's voice suddenly piped up, startling her. He had somehow sat a lot closer without her realizing and was actively listening to the conversation. He was also clearly intoxicated the way his words slurred. "Sittin' in a cramped little cubicle all day and starin' at a screen til you go cross-eyed?"

"Basically." She shrugged, glancing at him to gauge his mood. He seemed relaxed, most likely due to the alcohol, and he had been the one go approach her, so maybe this would be okay. "Doing five other people's work for no extra pay, next to no free time, getting micromanaged to hell and back by dickheads who make way more money doing fuck all. Getting written up for yawning one too many times when I 'could have been working'. You know, typical stuff."

"Yoba, if that doesn't sound familiar." He grumbled, polishing off his beer and setting the heavy glass down. "They must grow Joja managers in a lab and ship 'em out to all their branches."

She snorted softly and felt herself smile, taking another swig of her own drink. "Needless to say, I did not, uh, Thrive™ during my time at Joja. Heh."

"Seeing the JojaMart must have been quite a shock, then, if you were trying to escape the corporation. " Emily said, refilling Shane's glass without looking like it was second nature. Startling when a little timer went off in her apron. "Oop. I'll be right back, Clint's food should be ready by now. Don't tell any fun stories without me~." Practically dancing away and leaving her alone with Shane. Who was still staring at her intently.

"...You avoidin' me?" He asked after a moment, his voice softer than before. Almost sounding hurt. "Said 'hi' to Clint and Em, but not me."

"Isn't that what you wanted?" Bitterness seeping into her own tone, hands gripping her drink a little tighter.

"When has that stopped you before? You seem pretty persistent in bein' friends regardless of what I say."

"I don't like being yelled at, Shane..." she admitted quietly, shrinking into herself a little. "And what was it you said? You'd give me a pot of gold to leave you alone? Felt a little more serious than just being 'too busy' to talk."

He grimaced and looked into his beer, tracing the rim of it with his finger.

"Didn't...didn't mean that. Not at you specifically anyway. M'just an asshole and you got the brunt of a bad mood. Wasn't personal, I swear."

She gave a small hum in response, wanting to believe him but still not entirely convinced he wasn't just messing with her.

"...Were you tellin' me the truth before? About why you came here? Or was the story you told Emily the right one and you were jus' humorin' me?" He leaned closer to her, his voice dropping even lower like they were sharing secrets. His face so serious and disappointed by the idea that she had lied to him it pulled at her heartstrings.

"Everything I said at the lake was the truth, I promise. I just...didn't think Emily would understand. Not like you do.." Again, she allowed herself a vulnerable moment with him. Hoping this wasn't some ploy to later throw her anxieties back in her face.

His expression brightened and now he looked relieved, seemingly satisfied with that answer.

"Your secret's safe with me. Us Joja wage slaves gotta stick together, huh?" He very gently punched her shoulder and winked, taking a drink from his beer with a smile. Still sitting very close to her despite having the whole Saloon to occupy if he wanted space. But she wasn't exactly leaning away either.

"Look at you two getting along~" Emily's cheerful voice cut through whatever the moment between them was, and she found herself sitting up straighter like a teacher had just caught her dozing off. Hands folded neatly in front of her and all. Only now remembering how hungry she was when the blue haired barmaid placed a personal pizza on the counter in front of her. "Thank Yoba. I don't I could bear another night of Shane worrying about hurting your feelings, Kitty Kat."

Shane spluttered and choked on his drink, looking between the women with wide eyed mortification. Practically trying to disappear in his hoodie when they laughed. And, if she didn't know any better, she'd swear he was blushing. But that could just be from the booze.

"That's not--I was not...I didn't.." He floundered a moment before huffing and putting his head down on the bar with a pout. "Buh."

"Cute." She thought with a sudden fondness, followed by confusion for the sentiment. Man, she really must have hit her head hard in the mines.

"I told you he was a big ol' teddy bear." Emily stage whispered behind her hand, giggling when Shane grumbled in protest at the accusation but didn't lift his head. "Enjoy your food, hun. Let me know if you need anything else, 'kay?"

"You're a lifesaver, Em." She chuckled around a bite of pizza, table manners the furthest thing from her mind right now. Practically inhaling half of it before glancing over at Shane, who still had his head on the counter facing away from her. She looked towards the remainder of her pizza, then back at Shane, then to the pizza again before sliding it towards him.

"Hey. Cooper. Peace offering." Tapping his shoulder to get his attention with an amused smirk. Even more amused when he immediately popped up, turning to look at her with wide eyes.

"Oh. Really? You're sharin'?" He blinked, looking a mix of surprised and grateful. More so when she gave an affirmative hum and nod. "That's...you don't have to...uh, thanks."

She chuckled softly, finding him fumbling over his words endearing somehow. Maybe because he acted like she had given him something truly precious when all she had done was share a pizza with him. Sure, it was his favorite, but still. It was kind of sweet he was taken aback by a small gesture.

"Well you sent me one in the mail. Now we're even." She waved a dismissive hand, putting enough gold on the counter to pay for her meal and getting up to leave. "I gotta go before it gets too late. See you around, right?"

As she turned to go, he suddenly reached out and caught her wrist, his large hand easily encircling it and catching her by surprise. Her head whipped around to look at him in question, but he wouldn't meet her eyes. His face flushed again and lower lip jutting out in a bit of a pout.

"I wanted...I wanted to..." He shut his eyes and sighed heavily, grimacing. "I wanted to ask how the chickens are doing.."

She blinked, not expecting that to be what he wanted with how he was acting.

"Oh. Um, they're fine. Still alive, if that's what you were wondering. Um...you can come by and see them some time, if you want?"

He perked up again, finally meeting her gaze. "Really? I'd like that. Y'know, to make sure you're taking care of 'em and that they're happy."

She rolled her eyes and smiled, shaking her head. "Right, right. Gotta make sure I'm not a total fuck up right?"

"Right." He smirked with a chuckle, thankfully recognizing she was joking around.

"Hey, Shane?"

"Hm?"

"Gonna need my arm back, bud."

He glanced down and realized he was still holding her wrist, immediately releasing her and looking away again, embarrassed. Wrapping his hands around his mug of beer and staring deeply into it like he held the secrets of the universe.

"G'night, Miller." He mumbled, trying to disappear into his hoodie again.

"Night, Cooper. Enjoy the pizza." She gave him a pat on the arm before finally, finally heading home for the night. She had stayed much later than she intended to, which meant less time she'd be able to (hopefully) sleep before dragging herself out of bed at the ass crack of dawn for another round of farm work.

But she was walking out of the Saloon with more of a pep in her step than when she walked in. Belly full of food and heart full of hope, however foolishly, that Shane didn't actually hate her guts.

[caitbuggy]

This is totally OOC but I haven’t seen an ask penny page, if i made one would yall be interested?

[katasstrophic-arts]

In Bloom pt. 2

Sebastian x F!Farmer

pt. 1

Content - angst comfort, fluff, pregnancy, unnamed farmer, no y/n, Mild sexual topics

1.8k words

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later, after the sun has set you and Sebastian head to leave the Flower Dance. The both of you are promptly swarmed by people giving you their last congratulations of the day and asking some final questions. You’re happy to talk to everyone and answer with a smile but then questions begin to get more long term and topics you haven’t discussed with Sebastian yet. “Do you plan to use disposable or cloth diapers?”, “How do you plan to handle late night baby shifts?”, “Will you start a scrapbook?”, “How comfortable will you be with the baby around the farm animals and pets?”, “Do you want to have more children?”

Sebastian leaves most of the questions to you and nods along to your vague answers. But now he can tell exhaustion is starting to set in for you. He shoos away any more questions and ushers you back to the farm.

When you enter the house you take a vibrant purple and white flower out of the crown on your head and press it in a book in your living room. You make a mental note when you see Sebastian pass you carrying his laptop when you go to enter the bedroom. Finally in your sanctuary you shuck off the stuffy shoes and dress from the event. You perform your nightly routine and put on some comfy shorts and one of Sebastian’s shirts. As you’re about to climb into bed you realize Sebastian hasn’t come back into your shared bedroom. It’s only around 10 o’clock and Sebastian has been known to stay up late into the night, but town festivals usually prompt him to go to bed immediately afterwards. 

You walk back into the living room to find your husband sitting on the couch. He has already removed his suit jacket but is still in his dress shirt and slacks, hunched over his laptop on the coffee table. 

“Hun, what are you doing?” You ask.

“Oh, uhh. I’m just looking up some stuff.” He sheepishly replies to you. You look over his shoulder and see a page open for ‘Tips for Expecting Fathers’. “I wanted to find out what more I can do for you. I just feel so useless right now.”

Sebastian hasn’t been a helicopter spouse through your pregnancy so far. He trusts that you know your limits and will listen to Harvey’s orders. The only thing Sebastian has been insistent on has been not going into the mines and splitting the farm work. You still care for the animals, he helps you plant and water the crops, and you point out what is ready to harvest so he can collect them and put them in the shipping bin that Alex comes to collect each night.

Sitting down next to him you stroke his hair as he continues, “I mean, I’m paying attention at all the appointments with Harvey but it’s all advice for you. You’re growing a whole damn human and all I can do is bring you things and make sure you’re comfortable.”

Leaning into him you wrap your arms around his shoulders from the side, “Come to bed, love. Let’s talk tonight but we can do this later." You gesture to his laptop screen. He continues scrolling to a tip that recommends ‘General childbirth classes should be taken late second trimester to early third trimester’. “See, we have at least a month before we have to think about taking classes.”

Closing his laptop, he helps you stand and walks to the bedroom with you. You settle in bed as you watch him shed his formal attire. A heat begins to pool in you as more of his creamy, pale skin is revealed but you push it down, knowing that you need to have a serious conversation. After his nightly routine he hangs up the vibrant blue suit and flumps into his side of the bed in his boxers and an undershirt. 

“How are you feeling now?” You prompt.

He exhales, running a hand through his hair, “I don’t know. I guess a lot of it hadn’t really settled in yet. Everyone asking all those questions today made me realize how little I know.”

“Our decisions on how to raise them can be made later. And our opinions could change so we don’t have to lock anything down yet.” You try to reassure him.

“And like you said before this happened earlier than we planned. If this had gone to plan around now would be when we’d just be finding out you’re pregnant. I know that I love you and I want this baby, but becoming a father is… it’s just something new.” He takes a deep breath. “Now that everyone in town knows it’s really starting to hit me, and I have no idea what I’m doing.” He tenses and throws his arms up before reaching up to rub his face, stressed. “When Maru was born I was five but Demetrius didn’t let me do anything and it stayed that way. And I wasn’t really involved with Vincent until he was about 3, and that was just babysitting duty with Sam at the beach or the park. So right now I’m just trying my best to be supportive of you because I know this is taking a lot out of you.”

“And I really appreciate all you’re doing. Giving me massages and working in the fields while you still have your own projects.” You say, attempting to reassure him.

“I’ve been cutting back on the projects actually. My clients probably think I’m just going through another depressive episode.” He sits up in bed, his hands flying to his head as his eyes glaze in panic. “And I just read that fathers can also get postpartum depression! Oh Yoba! What if I…”

“Hey, hey! You won’t.” You reassure him, slowly sitting up next to him and carding your fingers into his hair, a trick that usually calms him down. “And if it does happen we’ll figure it out together. We’re doing this together. Always remember that.” 

You mentally kick yourself for not seeing all these troubles have been building in his mind. Sebastian has always found your emotions easy to read but he still keeps his cards close to his chest. It usually comes out in evening conversations like this one but this spring has been very busy and you’ve been so tired by the end of the day that you haven’t been able to have them lately. Your stomach is doing flops, regretful to see your husband in such a state but… Hang on… You quickly grab his hand and place it on your stomach. 

There it is, the light fluttering you’ve been feeling lately. Sebastian finally looks at you, his eyes grow wide and his face changes from panic to shock to awe. “Thats…”

“Our baby.” You say resolutely. The movements continue and you smile lovingly at your husband, whose gaze is now firmly locked on your belly. “They’ve never moved this much. They must like your voice.”

Sebastian continues stroking your belly as the fluttering comes to an end. “Hey there. Nice to finally meet you. I’m your Papa.”

“Papa?”

“Thought I’d try it out.” He leans in and gives you a tender kiss. Laying you both back down facing each other he continues to roam your body with his hands. “Yoba, I love you. Both of you. So, so much.”

“And we love you too.” You share a warm smile with him. Placing your hand on his over your bump.

“I know I’ve heard their heartbeat at the clinic and seen you growing but this is…” Sebastian closes his eyes and soaks in this moment of adoration. “I swear I’m gonna put in more effort. The farm work felt inevitable just from living here and of course I want my wife to be comfortable so I don’t mind giving you massages.” He locks eyes with you unshaking. “But I’m gonna put in the real work. I’ll pound on Pierre’s door at any hour until he lets me in to get whatever you’re craving. I’ll help my mom build the nursery. I’ll cook you meals according to Harvey’s dietary plans and finally remember to leave out the coffee.” Tears start spilling over your eyes through his proclamations. “And I’ll hold you close through all your mood swings.”

He does just that and wraps his arms around your shoulders, pulling you tight against his body. One of your hands moves around his waist while the other goes to your face to try and stifle your tears. Yet all of the emotions from today start to settle in and you are fully sobbing now. Sebastian places a kiss on top of your head that’s now resting against his chest before speaking in a hushed tone into your hair. “What’s on your mind, love. Talk to me.”

Through your sniffles you manage to say “Everyone is just so supportive and nice.”

“What did you expect? You’ve been the same to all of them since the day you moved here.”

Finally getting your tears under control. “It’s just… I’m so happy I moved here. That I met you and everyone in the valley.”

“I don’t know how I ever got you to fall for a schmuck like me.” Sebastian quips.

“Because under that edgy loner persona you really are a thoughtful, caring person.” You pull back to look into his eyes. “You learned to play the keyboard when Sam wanted to start the band. When you used to smoke by the lake you would bring an ashtray so the ashes wouldn’t get in the water. You rescued an injured frog and built a whole terrarium for them so you could nurse them back to health.” Sebastian looks away sheepishly through your praise of him, a light blush covers his nose and cheeks. “And you���ve done your best to quit smoking since we got married because you wanted to live a long life with me.” Your hand moves to your stomach again. “With us.”

Sebastian’s blush deepens “The valley used to feel so drab and meaningless, but you brought light here for me again. I often felt unappreciated at home… but I really feel like I belong here with you.”

The fluttering begins in your belly again, you both look down to where your bodies are pressed against one another. Sebastian somehow manages to pull you tighter against him

He continues. “To be honest, I never thought I'd end up in this situation… Married and a kid on the way. Now that I'm here, I like it… With you I'm excited about the future again. Thank you for giving me a family of my own and making me feel welcome in the valley.”

The two of you stay like that for a while, holding each other close and trading compliments. Both of you hoping to feel the movement in your belly again. Eventually you resign that it won’t be happening again tonight and let yourself fall into sleep. 

You dream of the Flower Dance. However this time you’re not dancing with your husband but with a small unknown child with dark hair and your smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AN: I am so so sorry this took so long to get out. I swear this was 80% written when I posted pt. 1 but life gets in the way. 

I did an unnecessary amount of research on pregnancy while writing this. My housemate would be so concerned if she saw my search history…

[fishyfarms]

Hello fishy friend, for the OC ask:

🌷🍂🌈

🌷: How does your oc take their coffee?

August: “Black.”

🍂: What kind of music does your oc listen to?

She listens to a bit of everything, in all honesty. If she likes the vibe, then she’ll like the song. She definitely listens to a bit more indie rock then most other genres though usually. Here’s her playlist if you’d like to take a peek! ✨✨✨

🌈: What does your oc like and dislike about themselves?

August: “Oh, uh…I’ve always liked my hair…and people say I look a lot like my mom, which has gotta be good cause she was really pretty.”

She pauses for a second, looking away from herself in the mirror.

“And I guess I don’t dislike anything.” She adds quickly.

[fashion-boots]

Kat Farmer on Instagram

[thebunsquad]

The moral of the story is that if you are kidnapped by firefighters, you have to play harmonica for the children. Also Zoidberg is the only one deserving of nice presents this year when people shave their hair for combs. 

[frogatz]

does anybody . um . dies

[huwitto]

Just drew this silly goober!! Def my fav parappa character <3 It's the first time that I use krita so it might look a bit bad, but I'm proud of it!! :>

[midnight-vixn]

A sexy little update:

After a very normal break down and many harsh words at my phone all links in the master list should be working 😌

Plz let me know if they are not and tumblr is a dirty liar like my ex💋

[a-gaggle-of-colors]

Has anyone thought about combing fantrolls with Stardew Valley yet? Cause that is a thing I wanna do...

[hailtothepumpkinqueen]

Conversations at the Saloon Part 1

(Based on Clint's 3 Heart Event, with a side of Farmer pining after the sad chicken man without realizing. Takes place after this. Part 2 here )

Why she went into the Saloon knowing damn well Shane was going to be there, she had no idea.

Well, that wasn't entirely true. She knew she didn't feel like cooking, not after getting knocked around in the mines all day. She knew the Stardrop Saloon was the only place in town to get a hot meal and a cold drink. And, as far as she knew, Gus didn't make deliveries. Pick up or dine in only.

But, even with all those factors, she didn't know why she would willingly step foot in a place where she had been yelled at barely 24 hours ago. Of course she could steer clear Shane(like he wanted), but it wouldn't stop the swirl of thoughts and feelings the sight of him drug up.

She didn't understand him. One moment they were commiserating, the next he was snapping at her to leave him alone, and the NEXT he was sending her a frozen pizza in the mail because he "wanted to write her a letter". What was he playing at?? Was she being punked? Did she misread the situation? Did he just...not want to associate with her in public? She had no idea, and she wasn't about to ask him after he basically bit her head off for just saying "hi".

Luckily, he was tucked away on one side of the bar and could easily be avoided. Unluckily, someone else was waving her down on the exact same side of the Saloon: Clint. Making direct eye contact and the "come here" motion with his hand in a way that was not at all subtle. She sighed heavily and hoped to Yoba Shane wouldn't notice her as she made her way over. This had better be important...

"Hello, Kat...Care to join me?" As if he hadn't just been doing his best impression of a flight instructor to get her attention. Pulling out a chair for her so quickly it made an awful screeching sound across the wood floor. If she wasn't so tired and hungry, his awkwardness would be kind of endearing.

"If this is about upgrading my tools, I don't have enough ore yet, Clint. I told you that already." Admittedly her tone was a bit snippy, but he was keeping her from grabbing something to eat and getting the fuck out. Sitting in the chair he provided and propping her chin on her hand.

"I know, I know. I..." he sighed and patted at his sweaty forehead with a napkin. "Let me just go ahead and tell you what's on my mind...I have terrible luck with women, Kat."

Oh dear Yoba, where the hell was this conversation going?

"I swear I'm a nice guy when you get to know me!" He continued, leaning forward on the table as if being able to see him closer would convince her of that. Before leaning away and dabbing his forehead again nervously. "You're a girl, Kat..."

"Last I checked, yeah." She replied flatly, half wishing the floor would swallow her up and she didn't have to be here anymore. But apparently the spirits were displeased with her today because in that chair, in this conversation she remained.

"What advice can you give me? What can I do to make Em--uh, girls give me a chance?"

Either he was very oblivious or very desperate, because he didn't seem to notice her eyes bugging out of her head. That was what he called her over for?? For fuck's sake, she hadn't so much as held hands with a man since college, how the hell was she supposed to give advice?

"I don't know, man. Just...act natural. Be yourself. Women aren't a hivemind, dude, I can't tell you how to get the attention of one specific girl." Whisper shouting and waving a hand in exasperation, still trying to avoid detection from one specific man, even though she was sure he knew she was there by now after the noise the chair made.

Sure enough, when she glanced in his direction, he was looking right at her with a curious expression. Their eyes meeting for a second before she looked away, hoping her hair hid her face.

"That's the problem...I do act natural...but I never have any success." Clint huffed, still seemingly oblivious to anything but what was going on in his head. Turning to where she had just been looking, but only because Emily was now walking their way.

She watched Clint stumble through making a food order, completely fumble a possible attempt to ask Emily out before she went to hand Shane a beer. She watched how easily the pair of them chatted, how Shane's face lit up in a smile like it was the simplest thing in the world. Feeling a twinge of...something in her chest. Something painful.

It shouldn't hurt, seeing him getting along with someone else. She'd seen how sweet he could be with Jas, with the chickens he loved so much. Seen him smile at them the same way he was smiling at Emily. Why did it bother her so much that he didn't smile like that at her, too? That she only got a hint of it before he put the walls up again?

Maybe she shouldn't be surprised he'd talk so easily with Emily. She was beautiful and bright and confident and seemed to ooze charisma like it was her purpose on earth to get along with everyone. Nothing like herself. No wonder Shane probably didn't want to be seen with her in public.

"I'm doomed..." Clint sighed next to her, watching Emily and Shane chat, as well. Almost certainly looking as crestfallen as she felt. What a pair they made.

"Yeah...me, too..."

[lesbiangiratina]

Post somewhat inspired by this particular comic anthology artist’s testaments

Yknow that image thats like “do you think its possible for a country boy and an emo girl to fall in love”. Or whatever. Thats testament learning to love themself. To me

[katasstrophic-arts]

In Bloom pt. 1

Sebastian x F!Farmer

Content - Pure Fluff, pregnancy announcement, unnamed farmer, no y/n, Mild sexual discussions

1.7k words

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Ready to go?” Sebastian asks as he leans into the bathroom where you were preparing yourself. 

“Just about, yes.” you say as you straighten out your dress over your stomach. Recently your bump has gone from ‘a little weight gain’ to ‘probably pregnant’. So you and your husband have decided to make an official announcement. Your immediate families already know. Maru was overjoyed to find out she would be an aunt at the clinic. A few days later you arranged a family dinner to break the news to the rest of Sebastian’s family. Robin was absolutely buzzing about planning the nursery layout, but has begrudgingly agreed to wait for you to make your announcement.

Today at the Flower Dance, everyone in town should know of your pregnancy by the end of the day. Your dress features a high waistline that leaves little to the imagination on your condition. At four months, you’re not huge but have rounded into pregnancy.

Sebastian wraps his arms around you from behind, his hands resting on your lower stomach. He leans down to press a kiss on your shoulder before resting his chin there “Ready to be the talk of the town?” he asks with a faint blush.

“I’m already the talk of the town.” you say turning to wind your arms around his neck. “This will just be more fuel for the fire”

“Great, just what I want. More people talking to me, asking me questions.” Sebastian throws his head back dramatically.

“I’m sure Abby and Sam screaming will be more than enough of an announcement.” You pull his head down and kiss his cheek.

Hand in hand you make your way to the clearing in Cindersap Forest. As you approach Sebastian takes a deep breath and offers you his elbow. “Ready?”

“Ready!” you state proudly looping your arms together.

Walking into the clearing you see that everyone is already engaged in conversations with their friends and family. Aside from Pierre who stands behind his booth as usual.

“Hiya Farmer, Sebastian!” He waves in greeting. Noticing your appearance “Hold on. You’re…”

You gently shush him and continue towards the back corner of the field along the river where Sam and Abigail agreed to meet you.

“Hey guys!” Abigail shouts as she notices the two of you and waves you over. Her gaze drifts down as her eyes widen and jaw drops. “Wait. Is that…”

Your hand drifts up to your bump, smiling.

“Yeah” Sebastian says, breaking the tension.

Abigail shrieks and runs into your arms. Sam bounds over and pulls Sebastian into a big hug, lifting him off his feet. Sebastian huffs as the air is squeezed out of him.

“Hey don’t break him. I need his help.” you scold.

“How the hell did you hide this from us?” Sam barks loudly. Setting Sebastian down and moving over to place his hands on your belly.

“Shapewear and loose clothes do miracles.” 

You glance around the clearing to see that all eyes have drifted to this corner. Robin’s face has lit up and is practically jumping for joy as she begins energetically talking to Jodi and Caroline. You shoot an ‘I told you so’ look at your husband.

“You guys are really having a baby?! This is so exciting! Congratulations guys!” Sam squeals.

“Thank you.” you both say.

After continuing to talk to your friends for a few more minutes you squeeze Sebastian’s hand and say “Well, I’m gonna make the rounds.”

Surprisingly, he pulls you into a deep kiss. He has never been one for PDA, but today elation has allowed him to overcome his discomforts. Your eyebrows are raised when you part and he smiles tenderly at you, whispering “Good luck. Try not to get swarmed.”

You reply with a peck to his lips. Leaving Sebastian with a snickering Abigail and loose jawed Sam. You walk back along the river approaching Elliot and Leah.

“My, my! I believe congratulations are in order!” Elliot booms, animatedly throwing his arms in the air. He takes a step towards you, extending a hand towards your bump. “May I?”

“Yes, and thank you.” He gently places his palm on your bump and sighs “There hasn’t been much movement yet, sorry.” As if on cue a light fluttering is felt through your lower abdomen. Both his and your eyebrows shoot up. “Well, congratulations. You’re the first person to feel them move.”

“Sebastian hasn’t felt it yet?” He glances over at your husband.

You sigh “No, it only started recently. So far it’s so infrequent and quick right now that he hasn’t been close enough when it does happen. One time he almost knocked over the TV stand when I called him over.”

“Aww, who would’ve thought he’d be such a softie.” Leah coos.

You look back at your husband, making eye contact with him. The two of you share a warm smile as he continues to talk with his friends. 

“I’ve never seen Sebastian smile this much at the Flower Dance.” Leah comments. “Congratulations, really. I’m so happy for both of you.” She clasps both your hands in hers.

You continue your parade to the rest of the villagers. Robin, Jodi, and Caroline say to come to them if you have any questions, concerns, or just need to vent. Emily says your baby has a calm but warm energy to them. Shane recommends a parenting book he recently picked up, it’s for older children but he says you’ll need it sooner than you think. Gus offers to arrange a meal prep for you when you’re closer to delivery. Penny offers to babysit if we ever need a day to ourselves. And Evelyn is thrilled to see the community growing. All in all, it was a lot of “I’m about four months along”, “We’re waiting a bit to find out the sex”, “They’re due early to mid fall”, “We’ve split most of the farm work so I’m not overworking myself”, “Yes, we’re very excited”. After all of the well wishes and tummy touches your social battery is pretty drained.

You meander your way back to your husband and slump into his side “I am here to share the congratulations of the entire town with you and ask you to dance.”

He chuckles, “Well, how could I say no to that request?” wrapping an arm around your shoulders he pulls you closer to his side then guides you to the buffet to sit down for a bit.

A short while later Lewis announces the dance is starting. The pairs make their way to the center of the field and suddenly you begin to feel self-conscious. You smooth the dress over your stomach and take a deep breath, knowing all eyes are on you today. Sebastian holds you close and whispers “Hey, did I mention you look great today.” You look up into his eyes, “Like drop-dead gorgeous, I’d say.”

You puff out a soft laugh and feel nothing but the love radiating from this man. Your husband. The father of your child. He can read you like a book and clear your anxiety away in just a handful of words. At this point you don’t care if you mess up the dance, all you care about is being in the arms of the man you love. 

“And you look like a blueberry in that jumpsuit.” You poke back at him. He groans and throws his head back. “I just mean you look sweet.” You rearrange his hair and rest your hand on his cheek. Covering your hand with his he plants a soft kiss in your palm.

The music starts and you begin waltzing around the clearing.

“So Sam is betting that it’s a boy, and Abigail bets on a girl.” Sebastian comments.

“Oh Yoba, they’ll never change. They bet on when we’d get together, who would propose, and I’m sure they bet on when I’d get pregnant.” You chuckle. “Who won by the way?”

“Sam did, he thought we’d be at it like rabbits but Abigail thought you’d want to have the baby in winter.”

“Let’s not tell her that was the original plan. Unfortunately someone got too excited.”

“Hey!” Sebastian feigned offense.

“I mean the baby was excited to get here.” You twirl away smiling.

Another jump is felt in your belly and when you come back together a glum look is on your face. Sebastian picks up on your dispirited appearance and stiffens in his movements.  “Are you okay? What’s wrong?” he worries.

“No, no. I’m fine.” you reassure him. “But I hate to tell you that… Elliot felt the baby move”

He breathes out in frustration, “Dammit.” His grip tightens on your waist. “That’s it, I’m not leaving your side until I feel them move.”

“Wait for the dance to be over first, dork.” You say twirling away one last time.

The dance concludes and the crowd applauds, you look over to see Robin with a camera recording the whole time. Glancing at Sebastian who shrugs in a ‘what did you expect’ way. You realize he kept you in conversation through the dance to keep your mind off the crowd, probably for himself too. He leads you back to the buffet to take a seat. Your feet are starting to kill you by now. Some pickles sound good right about now as well. Sebastian starts idly rubbing circles on your back knowing you’ve had soreness lately.

Mayor Lewis steps forward to the center of the field and announces Haley has won the title of Flower Queen yet again. She takes the flower crown from him but instead of placing it on her head she begins walking away. 

“I think we all know who deserves it this year.” making a straight path to you “On behalf of the entire town, congratulations!” She smiles, placing the flower crown on your head. The crowd erupts in cheers and your eyes begin to well with tears as you pull her into a tight hug. You’ve gotten along well enough with Haley but she has never done anything so outright kind for you. “I don’t know how you got through today in those shoes.” She whispers in your ear.

“Oh, they’re coming off as soon as possible now.” You laugh, wiping away some tears.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pt. 2

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AN: Oh Yoba I needed to stop looking at this and just post it. This is my first fic I’ve had the guts to post anywhere so constructive criticism is appreciated. Praise is appreciated as well.

I was looking up dresses for my cousin’s wedding and found some maternity dresses that inspired me to write this…

[katranga]

hmmmmm absolutely obsessed with this portrayal of love and devotion actually

(beneath the sugar sky by seanan mcguire)

[nakedcomedy]

#tbt to the last #MrHorsepower at UCB LA!! It was a freaky deaky time and everyone on the lineup was amaze!!

Real talk time: I started producing comedy stuff over 16 years ago, and one of the first live comedy shows that had me traveling weekly from Orange County to LA was Comedy Death Ray. UCB fans knows this as the precursor to Comedy Bang Bang, which later became a huge podcast and cult TV show. But in it's live show days, you really didn't know what or who would come on that stage at every show. I once saw Zach Galifianakis on stage smash a stage chair into oblivion and then immediately backstage he apologized profusely to Scott Aukerman and asked what it cost to replace.

This is the vibe I am trying to cultivate at Mr. Horsepower. So if you are/were a CDR/CBB fan, come see the next gen take a crack at a Tuesday UCB show where anything can happen!! Next show is Tuesday 6/11 9p I hope to see you there!!

Tix: https://ucbcomedy.com/show/mr-horsepower

[blackkat15]

The Aussie TV show Farmer Wants a Wife is just a farmer getting a harem and then voting off his least favourite lady in the harem each week until he finds himself his dream girl.