#fanfics anything i just need more of her
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
OMGGGGNFFDHFHSUFVG I LOVE HER I WANNA KISS HER FACE
I NEED HER
#transformers#cyberverse#tf cyberverse#cyberverse cosmos#cosmos#shes so beautiful#omfg yall dont understand i would give anything for a good figure of her#fanfics anything i just need more of her#gilly talks
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
i think taking a queer theory class would really fix Seven. not just in the obvious way of learning about compulsory heterosexuality & amatonormativity but also seeing that so much queer art is about the deconstruction of personhood and embracing inhumanity & imperfection. and the fact that her very literal struggle with being "human enough" is something marginalized people lived with for centuries (albeit more metaphorically than literally).
#i do very much try to incorporate that queer lens in fanfic about her#most notably the latest chapter of wpou#but writing about it more explicitly feels a bit too heavy handed. maybe i just need to write a full essay or something one day#seven of nine#my posts#definitely not projecting or anything lmao
149 notes
·
View notes
Text
First of many
So much had happened. Nasiens had found her biological family, she found out about herself, she almost died... but now her hero was with her again.
When the battle was decided, a few words were exchanged and someone gave Percival a cloak so he could cover up. He hadn't even realized he was naked. He apologized, though it was clear he didn't see the issue.
After a while, her new family (she had to present them to Ordo as soon as she could!) left her alone with him, sharing knowing smiles.
Nasiens couldn't stop looking at him.
Percival... She smiled.
"So you are a fairy now? That's so cool!" Percival's voice was so soothing to her. How had she missed his smile!
"Yes... I'm not used to flying, though..."
"But now we can fly together!" Percy said, laughing. He grabbed her hands and gently lifted them up. Nasiens was shocked but soon started smiling again. A little spin in the air, and she was laughing along with him.
"I just can't get used to the height..." she admitted looking down, feeling cold sweat in her forehead. It had been fine in the battle, but now... She looked up at Percival, thinking how silly she was being. Something gleamed in his eyes.
He threw her one of his winning smiles and she felt her heart stop.
"Well, that's easy! Just keep looking at me!" His face was too close to hers, but then again, he had never been good at respecting people's personal space.
And Nasiens couldn't think of anything better to look at than his eyes. He always managed to calm her down. She could do anything as long as he's with her.
"See? You can fly really high if you want!" Like a spell being broken, she looked down. She almost let out a scream. They were so high up she could barely see the ground!
Her arms moved on their own, hugging Percival. She hid her face in the crook of his neck, trembling.
Percival was shocked. Not because of the hug, he loved Nasiens' hugs, as different as this one felt. However, she felt like dead weight. Had she stopped flying?! Of course she wasn't in any real danger as long as he was there to hold her, but...!
"Nasiens?!" He could hear her mumbling nonono again and again, "I'm sorry! I thought...! Are you ok?" He was so worried about her and Nasiens was still trembling, but she managed to answer,
"Ye-yeah..." she looked up. She was again at a loss for words. She knew Percival was still Percival inside, but he was really big now, and tall, and... she could feel her face aflame. "Yeah, I'm... I'm good. I was shocked, I guess..." she couldn't look him in the eyes anymore.
Percy was silent for while before he spoke again.
"You really feel different now, uh..." Nasiens eyes widened at his comment.
"Wh-what do you mean? Is it bad?" Percival's silence made her a little nervous. He wasn't looking at her anymore. She forgot to ask again though, since they landed in the hollow part of a cave, up in a mountain, and the sight amazed her.
"It's beautiful..." she said. Percy agreed, but he wasn't looking outside. His eyes were fixed on the pretty girl he was holding by the waist.
Screw pretty, he thought. Nasiens had always been beautiful, but now... It was like a whole other level. The way she held herself felt different. Also,
"You got boobs now!" he shouted, almost giving her a heart attack. She almost tripped, blushing like crazy.
"Ye... yeah..." she put her hand on her chest. They weren't even that noticeably, but... "the whole thing feels weird..."
"Bad weird?" he sounded genuinely curious.
"N... no, I don't think so. I never felt bad being called a boy, but now... I like this. Being a girl, I mean. It feels right, but I'm... not used to it yet. Not completely, at least. Is that weird?"
"I don't think so! Anyway, Nasiens is Nasiens, no matter what! You are amazing!" when he looked at her, he could see that gentle smile of hers that he loved so much.
Nasiens was so grateful. Of course Percival wasn't fazed. He was just Percival. He hadn't even questioned her change, something which she she was grateful for. She couldn't even imagine how she could start explain the whole thing to him.
She was thinking how much she loved this side of his and was so deep in her thoughts, she didn't realize when Percival got behind her.
"You gotten slimmer too, right? Right?" his poking sent shivers down her spine. What was his obsession with her back?!
Nasiens felt her face aflame again.
"Please, don't do that!" she almost screamed, taking a step back.
"Why? Can't I touch you?" he sounded so innocent, she almost felt bad. But when she looked up again she saw how serious he was. She felt taken back. He had never looked at her like that before, not like this.
How could she tell him that the only thing she wanted was for him to touch her all over... it was just so embarrassing to admit!
She felt her true feelings coming forward before she could stop herself.
"Well, if you a-!" a flashback made her stop. A painful memory crossed her mind and she felt silent.
Anghalhad.
She felt her blood boil.
"...you know what. I think it's best that you don't." She turned, not before giving him the iciest look he had ever seen. That kind of look was never directed at him! Percy got worried.
"N-Nasiens?! Are you angry at me? I hate it when I make you angry!" he ran to her. He grabbed her hand so she couldn't get further away from him. She flinched and stopped, but she didn't look at him. "I'm sorry, did I say something bad?"
"You got Anghalhad to touch, don't you?" she said, immediately regretting her words. It wasn't Percival fault, or Anghalhad's for that matter. Plus, she knew Percival didn't understand these kind of things! She barely could, after all.
"Yeah, I guess..." Percival's voice made her angrier and she felt so ashamed. She took her hand back, snapping at Percy.
"See?! Go to her for all I care!" she looked down, hiding her eyes as best as she could. She couldn't face him like this...
"Wha...?! No! I don't want to! I want to stay here with you! Nasiens!" he grabbed her by the shoulder, shaking her a little. He had to make her understand...!
Were those tears?
"Nasiens...? What's wrong?" she lifted her arm, trying to wipe her tears with her sleeve.
"I... I'm a horrible friend! I don't hate Anghalhad, I actually like her... but thinking about you two...!" she put her hands on her face, trying to control herself. "Who am I to say anything? You are free to do whatever you want...! But I hate it! I hate the thought of you two-!"
Percy hugged her so tightly she almost couldn't breathe. She felt his hand grabbing her hair, same way he had done early that day.
"P... Percival?"
"I won't touch anyone else!" he exclaimed, shocking her. "I don't really get it, but I thought of some else touching you and that made me angry, so I guess it's the same for you? Is that it?"
"Ye... yeah."
"Is it because you love me?" Nasiens felt trapped. She was about to protest when...
"Cause I love you too!" he said, his smile so bright it blinded her. He caught her so out of guard she almost fainted.
"Well," he continued, "I love all my friends... but with you... love falls short. Does that make sense? I want to hold you forever..." Percy said, snuggling to her. Looking down he saw her eyes, so full of hope and love, he couldn't help but smile. Nasiens smiled back.
"Y-yes, it makes sense. I... I feel the same way." Nasiens couldn't believe it. She confessed! She managed to do it and now...
"Good!" he grabbed her waist again, lifting her from the ground, "then it's settled!"
Nasiens felt tears forming again, this time from happiness. Things could be so easy with him sometimes... but then she remembered their little argument. She blushed again.
"A-about before... I don't mind, you know... but, you have to ask."
Percy was confused for a moment. Then it hit him.
"Really?!" he had pulled her down a little. His face was so close to hers...!
"Ye-yeah."
"Can I, then?" he asked. His lips were so close to hers, she felt her heart about to explode.
"Yes..." she tried to close the distance and...
"NASSIE! Percy! Dinner time! Come on, where-! Oh, there you are!" Tioreh shouted, appearing out of nowhere.
"...what are you two doing?" she asked, innocently.
It was a rare sight, if you asked her. Nassie with her face all red, pushing Percy away. Her hand was on Percy's face and he looked miserable, ignoring Tioreh and trying to get close to Nassie.
"But you said I could...!" he whined.
"QUIET, PLEASE!"
Tioreh had never seen Nassie so embarrassed. It was fun!
Later that night...
Nasiens couldn't believe it. They had almost...!
But the moment had been ruined.
She put her hands on her face, sighing. Maybe some other time... She was fixated in the fire next to the log she was sitting on, deep in thought.
"Nasiens! I was looking for you! Look!" Percival's voice took her out of her trance. She looked up to see him better, confused in what was she supposed to be looking at.
He placed a white flower on her hair.
"I knew it! It suits you!" he said, making her blush yet again. She gently touched the white flower with her fingers. "You look beautiful, you know!" Nasiens felt her blush deepen. She was going to get a fever from blushing so much...
"Thank you, Percival..." she smiled at him and he smiled back, love in his eyes. He sat down next to her and she rested her head on his shoulder, sighing.
"Man, that sucked, uh?" he suddenly said, looking down at her. "I really wanted to kiss you."
Nasiens was definitely getting a fever.
"Re-really? Honestly, I did too..."
Without much thought, Percy turned and grabbed her by the waist, surprising her. He flew them away from the dinner and the rest.
In the air, with the moon shining brightly, he looked at Nasiens. He smiled, closing the distance between them.
"Can I?" he whispered.
Nasiens laughed. He really took it to heart to ask first.
"Of course...!"
Their laughter filled the night. At least for tonight, everything was going to all right.
#persiens#percival#nasiens#4kota fanfic#4kota#im getting ahead before 153 breaks my heart lmfaooo#did i read all 4kota chapters in under three days cause i fell in love with a ship?#yes. yes i did.#btw im a firm believer in the blanchefleur theory and that anne is a red herring#i love anne so no hate to her but yeah#also im using she/her pronouns for nasiens cause i believe nasiens is a girl now#tho only time will tell! maybe nasiens will prefer he/him or they/them#who knows!#im changing them depending of what nasiens chooses#my writing#first fic tho lol#also pls don't come at me#i know you dont need anything to be one gender or the other#this was just for this fic and my headcanon that nasiens feels more comfortable being seen and living as a girl#which again this headcanon can be shattered into pieces in a few days lmfao
66 notes
·
View notes
Text
A vampire swanqueen AU?? In my good christian drafts?? More likely than you’d think 😉🩸🦇
#listen I got carried away#Emma’s an angel and Regina is broody about it#I just need to write Regina sinking her teeth into Emma’s neck more than I need anything else right now okay??#please don’t judge me#current wip#my wips#regina mills#emma swan#swan queen#vampire au#ouat#once upon a time#lana parrilla#jennifer morrison#regina x emma#fanfiction#sq fic#ouat fanfic#ouat fandom
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
sorry i can't hear you all whinging over the
of it all
#HE KISSED HER#not in my wildest dreams#i was resigned to just write fanfic and get it out of my system#and ofc now i really probably will just HAVE to#slow horses#s5#louisa x river#river cartwright#louisa guy#(i need to prepare myself mentally for her rejecting him ;___;)#(but i ship it s much gdammit)#(frriends or otp or whatever i'll take anything i just want to see more of their interactions)
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
Gepard's role in the story
(crack theory territory)
So, I'm sure I'm not the only one that noticed, but Gepard is extremely underused in the story, which is such a shame?
Like, I counted the times we see him in the main story and it's disappointing. We (Astrall Express Crew) see him at the start after Sampo ditches us, where he takes us to Cocolia and all, then we see him again at the end of the story when he's trying to stop us because he believes we are trying to harm the Supreme guardian and he fights us and his Sister and that's it. We don't see him again.
Then, when Topaz comes to Jarillo VI he is there for two scenes again. One where he tries to stop Topaz and gets ambushed and one at the end where he stops a woman from getting crushed to death.
Even in 'his' (Serval's) companion quest, he takes the backseat. Sure, the story was about Serval and her getting over Cocolia and Gepard's role was him just trying to show Serval that she is still needed in Belobog, but honestly they could've done more with him.
I think people forget that he doesn't know the truth of what really happened to Cocolia? (as far as I'm aware at least). Can you imagine if he learned the truth? The mental breakdown that he'll experience?
This man has been serving her for the better part of a decade. He was spoon-fed propaganda like that Underworlders are 'wild' (an item description mentions that he had to fight 'wild Underworlders' I'm pretty sure) and blindly following the Supreme Guardian's orders for years. How is he supposed to react when he learns that those 'necessary sacrifices' of his fellow guards was just an excuse to get rid of more Belobogians for the 'dream' the Stellaron promised Cocolia.
Don't forget, he knew those people. They were friends, comrades, people he saw everyday. And all of them were dying on the daily and he was powerless to do anything.
And when he learns the truth, how is he gonna react to Bronya's decision to cover it up? Were the deaths of his friends in vain? Do their families not deserve to know the truth as to why their loved ones died? How much blood does the late Supreme Guardian have on her hands? How much of it has transferred to Bronya? How much blood does Gepard have on his hands because he never questioned his orders?
Point is, he is so important to Belobog, he's the Goddamn Captain of the only military service they have there, obviously he is needed! So why underuse him so much?
Well, this is where we move more into theory territory. I think it ties in with a future Belobog quest that Black Swan's companion quest hinted at (at the end during Sampo's and Sparkle's conversation).
Since Gepard has been on the backburner, we have yet to see Sampo and Gepard interacting and the fact Sampo still doesn't have a companion quest even though he is an important lore character I think all of that will happen in the future.
I think it would work best as a quest without the Astral Express Crew, like the new POV mechanic or the cut aways used in the Loufu for Dan Heng. We could play as Gepard or Sampo as they are forced to work together for whatever reason.
We could play as Gepard as something big happens in the restricted zone (AKA the catastrophe Sparkle teased Sampo about). Maybe he gets informed about it (maybe we get a new 4* character that's a guard that informs Gepard) and when he makes it there, Sampo is already here, as if expecting it.
Maybe Bronya calls Gepard to her office after an anonymous tip was sent to her warning the Silvermane Guards of a catastrophe coming to Belobog. Maybe he is tasked with finding who sent the note as well as prepering for said catastrophe, which is how he runs into Sampo, having the two working together.
Maybe we play as Sampo, leaving clues for the Silvermane guards until we reveal ourselves, getting that 5* version. Maybe we are the one pushing the puzzle pieces so they fit on their own or maybe all through the quest we keep cutting back to a game of chess between Aha and Sampo, showing the unpredictable nature of the catastrophe as it was orchestrated by Aha just for shits and giggles.
Either way, this works great as a pathway to seeing:
a) the dynamic between Sampo (arguably the most mysterious character to come from Belobog) and Gepard (resident bbg)
b) 5* Sampo
c) (and this is mostly me playing around with concepts) Gepard becoming an emanator, becoming the first on screen character to be turned into an emanator
d) a great end to Sampo's character arc by becoming a part of Belobog (maybe he even becomes part of the Silvermanes as a detective)
e) more Geppie screen time and exploration of his character
(a few extra ramblings from my demented as a treat)
I think it's criminal that Gepard doesn't have his own companion quest and he's practically shoved in his sister's, and considering that Sampo doesn't have his own......................
I think it would be fair to have these two in a companion quest of their own.
I'm thinking of a quest where Sampo becomes a Silvermane guard (a detective to be more precise) and Gepard learns the truth about Cocolia.
I can imagine that during some investigation that Gepard is having a hard time with due to the Underworlders not trusting the Silvermane guards, he is forced to seek Sampo's help. So through Natasha, he gets ahold of Sampo and the two work together where Gepard, through investing a shady group learns what actually happened to Cocolia as well as all the lies he's been getting spooned-fed for years.
One mental breakdown and emotional conversation between the two later, they catch the criminals and Gepard takes it upon himself to make Sampo part of the Silvermane guards because of how helpful he's actually been recently (main story + new quest with the catastrophe + the companion quest + helping the Underworld in general).
The companion quest ends with Sampo becoming a detective (Heizou from Genshin Impact style) where he wants to prevent crimes from happening before they even committed. His reason being 'criminal to detective is pretty stereotypical and Aha might blow up the planet' so he challenges himself to stop crime before it's committed to keep Aha entertained enough that they don't blow up the planet but uninterested enough that they don't actively observe.
I think it would be a great end to both character arcs.
Gepard gets more screentime and learns to question orders (it'd be nice to see his friendship with Bronya damaged, cause technically he is her uncle (Cocolia adopted Bronya while she was still in a relationship with Serval, making him an uncle)). Maybe he also reaches the conclusion of still being a Silvermane Guard for the sake of protecting the people but not actively following the Supreme Guardian because he lost faith in her.
Sampo gains a home and (gasp) love (platonic, romantic, doesn't matter). He'll feel like he belongs somewhere, a permanent home. Not matter if he leaves the planet for a day or a year, he'll still be welcome. His reputation improves and his skill is used for the betterment of Belobog. His mask is allowed to slip, even just a little.
#the last part is mostly ideas for my own fanfic#can you tell?#don't expect anything soon though#I'm still struggling with exams and other projects#plus one of the protagonists is Seele and I hate writing her#anyway Gepard and Sampo my bbgs#Gepard needs more screentime#although the post derailed quickly to Sampo#sampo my beloved#I want these two to interact so bad#I just know it's gonna be the funniest shit ever#Sampo would be the biggest menace ever#and Gepard would just suffer#Gepard would be this close to strangling Sampo#real talk tho#I think there's a conversation to be had between these two#like they are so different yet so similar?#at least in their goal of protecting Belobog#after all#Gepard protects Belobog because it's his home#and Sampo does the same because it makes him happy#they both find elation in preserving Belobog#just in different ways#some more questionable from others#sampo koski#gepard landau#sampo hsr#hsr gepard#character analysis#honkai star rail
36 notes
·
View notes
Text
No you don't understand, Anne and Marcy third-wheeling Sasha during the dinner episode (and Sasha third-wheeling herself during battle of the bands) is so important to me. Anne and Marcy have come so far having left Sasha behind. They're happy and confident and strong and closer than ever, all because they were finally free. Because Sasha wasn't there to stunt their growth. Despite how much they love Sasha and how much they don't want to admit the distance helped them, it's true: Anne and Marcy were both victims of a toxic friend and they're learning to move on together. Ik it sounds like I hate Sasha because whenever I write about her I make her out to be a massive piece of shit but that's because... she kinda was! And I love her for that! I love these three, I love their story and their drama and toxicity (I was soooo happy when it was revealed Marcy wasn't as great as she initially seemed like - yes! The CONFLICT is CONFLICTING). Like yes marcanne is my obsession, I have marcanne brain worms, but I think one of the reasons marcanne works so well is because of Sasha. Their past, present and future with her have such a huge impact in Anne and Marcy's relationship with each other and with themselves. You can't separate these three and I love it, how easy it is to ship two of them without making it weird by leaving the third one behind (ironically, Sasha the Character is included by leaving Sasha the Person behind).
Marcanne to me is about two childhood friends living in a toxic situation healing together after leaving, only able to fall in love now that they are free and more comfortable with themselves and each other. They couldn't fully connect with each other before - not really. Anne didn't see the importance of listening to what Marcy had to say nor did she take it too seriously, and Marcy was simply not in contact with real people in the real world at all. None of this was Sasha's fault entirely, but she did third-wheel Marcy and she was possesive with Anne and was just a generally terrible influence on her, while reminding Marcy that, well, she didn't really matter all that much to anyone. Removing Sasha from the equation is not enough but it's a necessary step towards knowing each other better and the fact that they so easily became closer than ever just shows their eagerness to be together for real this time. Marcy's increased confidence and Anne's newfound empathy and admiration for her friend wouldn't have been possible with Sasha's domineering influence present. If they were to fall in love, it'd be because Sasha wasn't there to stop it.
I imagine that, once she finds out, she'd be furious, but mostly just devastated. Her friends only found love once she was gone. As if they think they'll be better off without her.
#amphibia#marcanne#anne boonchuy#marcy wu#sasha waybright#marcanne meta#my posts#i saw a lil drawing one time. it was anne and sasha kinda swordfighting#and anne was protecting marcy like holding her in one arm while pointing her sword at sasha w the other one#but it was like a sketch and in a screenshot alongside like 6 other drawings without links or credit or anything#but from the context of the post I thinkkkkkkk it may have been a doodle made by someone who worked in amphibia??#if that's the case I'd love to know. because i'd love to draw it#idk if I feel comfortable stealing some other fan's fanart idea tbh#but that tiny pixelated little thing was so adorable! i can't get the image out of my head#the CONCEPT of Anne defending Marcy from Sasha! a whole swordfight right there!#only believable if marcy is like injured or something ofc because she'd just try to like intervene to keep the peace. or escape. or try to#immobilize sasha peacefully#but if she's half-conscious or injured or something#(NOT inconscious because i want her to see the fight happen 👀)#oooooh boyy#anne choosing marcy over sasha! sasha realizing they REALLY are more important to each other than she is to either of them! marcy realizing#theres no hope for their friendship because sasha never wanted what was best for all of them and didnt really want her and anne to be happy#i needed a real marcy-sasha confrontation so bad i was so sad we didn't get one 😭 mostly I want marcy to realize sasha was horrible to her#maybe she's in denial maybe she's holding back tears repeating over and over again that sasha is their friend while anne softly tries to#talk to her. to make her see both she and sasha treated her like she was nothing. to make her understand she didn't deserve that#until marcy finally breaks and begins to cry ;-;#i have a whole fanfic in my head you do not understand
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
there r fics that make u insane (so amazingly good it’s removed ur sanity) and then there’s fics that make u insane (you need to fistfight the author for how they did a specific thing that caused u to rant for hours)
#i know i just posted that other thing but ffs that is NOT how u handle someone in that situation everyone involved made everything 10x worse#yet it’s being treated like the right thing to do (which again ofc they’re cops they don’t understand harm reduction but still) like#seriously everything’s so forceful like u seriously think forcing ur friend to talk to u or forcing a patient to talk to a therapist under#the threat of being admitted to a psychiatric hospital is gonna make her feel comfortable talking to u? or anyone? she’s just gonna trust u#less and get better at hiding it and speaking of which the taking away all sharp objects thing makes sense in theory but like think abt it#for a minute she confirmed she isn’t suicidal and this is her only way of coping so do not just forcibly take away all her coping mechanism#like yes she is hurting herself but it’s a COPING MECHANISM. she’s coping with something. help her with that don’t just take away her penci#sharpers or whatever (which btw since she’s an adult she could easily buy more stuff and yk learn to hide it better) which again has to be#voluntary it isn’t gonna work if u force someone to do smthn they don’t want to like as ur friend u could’ve made it clear u care abt her#and wouldn’t judge her for anything and r here if she wants to talk don’t just say “you have to talk to me” and casually threaten#hospitalisation when she isn’t ready in the moment like seriously if this wasn’t a badly written fanfic she would completely stop trusting#bcz given that this wasn’t even done out of panic i would like ffs u are NOT doing any of this right#oops sorry ranted abt the bad fic in my tags-#it’s not where the author’ll see it and know it’s about them i don’t feel bad abt it#this was my first time even looking at stuff for this fandom so#cw self harm in tags#idk if i need to tag anything else for that 😭#fanfic#ao3#ryan shut the fuck up
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
“You stole my cat!” she yelled. “Is this your cat?” Al tried to scoop it back into his bag, starting to feel rather frantic. “We were just trying to take it to the v-” Without any warning, the girl’s fist collided with his nose.
Alphonse attempts to aid a stray cat. It doesn't go as planned.
#fma#fmab#alphonse elric#mei chang#may chang#edward elric#scar fma#ling yao#my writing#fma modern au#FINALLY MAY APPEARS IN THE MODERN AU!!#I wanted to introduce her before doing anything else in this au. she needed to be here#not for like grand plot reasons#I just want her and scar to be here#fun fact about a detail that probably only matters to me: I spell her name as May instead of Mei in this fic#because it's pretty common when immigrating for people to have to change their names or at least how they're spelled#so when she immigrated as a kid in this au her name was anglicized as May#meanwhile when I'm writing in a setting closer to canon I use Mei#because that's probably more accurate to how her name would actually be spelled#this is the level of neurotic detail you get when you're a sociolinguist writing fanfic#anyway. hope you guys enjoy! I love my daughter! she's fun to write!
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
sometimes i feel like i'm getting so invested in palia lore that it's breaking my heart and driving me insane :'Dt
#palia but tangentially#i literally made a second character this evening to straight edge romance Tish#because i want to learn more about Reth through the relationship the two of them have as siblings#and tish's wiki page is SO. BARE BONES. compared to her brother's???? she doesn't even have her full level 4 romance quest/dialogue up#no pin reactions or anything either and it just makes me really sad to see it#like i am 110% prepared to step up to the wiki and contribute the necessary info once I get Basil where he needs to be questwise but man#accidentally 4d chessed myself into caring about tish so much i want to come out from under my rock and contribute to the community#this is me and Richter Belmont and Maria Renard all over again#this is all so i can write accurate fanfic btw#because i'm a terrible stickler for canon#i'm a mess i'm a disgrace#come talk to me about palia i'm ILL#anyway if you see someone named Albert Serdio running around kilima that's me lmao
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
told my therapist i'd text my mother and tell her not to come by (she asked/said she would cocme visit me THIS WEEKEND, i had a panic attack about it, we've all been there. probably)
but im so bloody tired of having to deal with this kinda stuff, therapy was exhausting, sitting with my emotions and not going insane was exhausting, and i'm also just. sleep-tired. proper tired. it's past midnight and i just want some warm tea and to go to bed soon
#alex yells at the void#i can text her tomorrow it's fine#anna (my therapist) is once again quite concerned about me#i did get pretty lost in my head towards the end#she was once again like i'm here for the next few days i check my emails every day blah blah im here if you need anything#as if i would ever ask for help like bloody hell i cant even out loud say that i dont want my mother to be around me for the foreseeable#future or whatever im just#it's in my head and im trying to say the things i need to say but it's like running into a cement wall head first#and the more i try and push the harder it gets#anyway. im terrified my therapist is gonna get frustrated with me#even though i know she's like the nicest person ever#but what can you do#anyway#tea fanfic bed
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
I love how Carnelian Blood made me re-fulfill my promise to return to the DL fandom (I left bc I had more passionate interest at the time and wasn't interested in Chaos Lineage but if it got new characters I told myself I'd return) and it's like stepping into a time capsule
things, for better or worse, have no changed
#the same arguments#the same praise post#now I love Yui & the boys still#even tho my interpretations of them probably differ from most people#and I am excited to see if anything comes from the side/spinoff cast (Carnelian Blood)#Honestly I have some hot takes of my own regarding Yui that maybe I'll share one day#(spoiler: it's not dislike or anything just a different approach to why her personality is the way it is)#(aka a more realistic/doylist perspective that is probably less romantic)#but currently I will just vibe....#diabolik lovers#carnelian blood#good to see that the old blogs I liked are still active#need to reread some route translations to see if I can write that DL fanfic project I wanted to when I was younger
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
you ever read a work of fiction so good that you immediately need to find more and consume it but it doesn't have any more and there will likely be no more so you just suffer and think what if.
#theres no fanfic of it. its not a fandom#it was one 150000 word original fiction fic on ao3#i read it all in one sitting and i can't stop thinking about it#its not that i found the leads attractive or fuckable and thats why i kept reading#(the leads weren't like WHOA HEY levels of attraction but more like a id tap level)#((they were def fuckable tho thats not what made them interesting))#the way they interacted. with eachother. with their family. with the world around them#htere was so much lore. what about hte demon world tell me more about the classifications of demons and how it affects their lifestyle#tell me more about how a demon who had before this when needing to see would just create more eyes and needing to eat would just#create more mouths interacts with a body that cannot have more than what it was given. tell me more.#why was jade so effective? who was two really? who hired those assassins? are shades normally powerful or is he an exception?#did she ever learn to ride? did he figure out how to balance? do their children inherit his constitution? do they inherit hers? what happen#when she starts to age? does he try to do anything to stop it? does his body rotting around him limit his time or is it something else?#does the doctor get the herbs from hell? does the butler ever find out he didn't know she knew until the last min?#the sex is good. obviously. but what was cuddling like? is carrying a 1/3 demon baby full term different from a standard human baby?#did he choose velvet for his wedding suit because it felt like his regular skin or because of something else? tell me. tell me. tell me.#if i were to get isekaied i hope to fuck it wouldnt be here bc my ass would be dead but also im feeling so intensly curious#if truck kun came knocking i would ahve a notebook in hand full of questions to be answered#the romance was good ig but the world was better#is this what sqq felt lmao#rants and rambles
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
>"sculpt a mixed media piece representing a safe space!"
>has never felt safe
#idk. how do I represent scratch? even then I didn't feel safe because multiple family members knew the login#I think about how one of the first signs my mental health was nosediving was an animation meme I made in fifth grade#quotev? I wrote my first fanfic there. it was a sailor moon oc-thats-an-obvious-self-insert fic#. animal crossing?#but I keep doing video game things. my final in sculpture 1 was a 3ds#or tomodachi life. but AGAIN. I need something more original instead of always going back to my 3ds#like idk. I've always been bullied. I've never felt safe with my dad or his family. it took a long time to really feel safe with my mom#and I still don't tell her anything because it all reads as pity#I've always felt pretty safe on tumblr in spite of the grooming incident and the doxxing incident#but that's just fucking STUPID#I guess ultimately I've always felt safe online and in technology. I could somehow make like. the inside of a computer?#not in the literal sense but like in the screen#rzr speaks
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
[pulls out a giant nerf gun] [hits new dream with repression and miscommunication of the rocky traumatic start of a relationship beam]
#(it's not actually that bad) (they just have 0 idea how to deal with Fucking Anything)#healthy coping? never heard of her!!!#ao3 deletes my draft today. so i'm gonna make a new one and speedrun the rest of my fic the next time i have like four consecutive hours#and then send it to my friend to read over it#and then fix stuff#and then POST#i was so focused on creating a masterpiece that i forgot that i was doing this to be mushy and fun and to FINISH IT!!!#my main goal was to finish it lol#my rewrites have been good though!!! and i have my plan for the end i just need to write it lol#reading a lot of fanfic yesterday reminded me oh yeah. i can just be mushy. and i will still like it!#and hopefully others too#of course i have to be Right#i couldn't bear it if i wasn't right#but i can be mushy :)#tangled#bluebird.txt#i love it when the girls fight they need to fight more and by god i'll do it all myself if i have to#other people can write the fluff#i wanna make these bitches FIGHT!!!#and then make up and be cute or whatever#but i think ive accepted i can't really write romantic fluff. its just not in me.#kissing? like...maybe#for all intents and purposes just assume my version of new dream is ace because i cannot possibly be assed#to figure out the minds of sex-enjoyers#i'm a sex ambivalent person myself but it's still like. whatever.#in fiction makes perfect sense. in real life i guess also? but less. so i will not write it cuz who give a shit someone else has surely#written it#anyways#[takes my giant nerf gun out] HEY '''FLYNN''' CHECK THIS OUT
0 notes
Text
I was gonna try to write or draw something today but I have a headache and it's making me feel sick so I don't know if or when that will happen.... 😞
#I need to make more content but I feel like death uuuugh#also I won't be tuning in or listening or anything today but it is the 100th show of the eras tour today and I'm not emotionally prepared-#-for whatever she might do tonight#everyone's clowning for rep tv but I dunno we'll see I guess I follow the eras tour updates on twitter so I'll know if anything goes down#on the subject of the tvs I would like to apologize in advance for the person I will become when debut tv eventually comes#anyway gonna go lay down in the dark for a while to try and curb this headache so I can maybe create today byyyyyeee#abby's just rambling don't mind her#abby's fanfic writer power hour
0 notes