#falls in lov *pushed into the abyss | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

0risha · 4 years ago

Text

“BONES.”

✰ PAIRING ⤷ dabi x fem!reader

SUMMARY ⤷ It took him over a decade to muddle his brain with different memories to overshadow his past ones, not wanting for the abstained shadows of remembrance to embrace him.

It’s not that he doesn’t trust you.

Dabi doesn’t trust himself.

He doesn’t trust the color of his mind to stay in the now state it’s in. If Touya Todoroki were to unwrap the gauze that clung to his very being, he’d fall apart. And he couldn’t have that. This unforgiving life of his had finally unfolded its palms and given him a gift and he’d stay sane for as long as he could to enjoy it.

✰ WC ⤷ 6.6k?

✰ TAGS ⤷ major angst, there is fluff though pinky promise, there’s a suggestive line, please don’t cancel me, it was detrimental to the story manga spoilers, a few curse words, character death, very, very soft dabi, shigaraki is an ass

NOTES ⤷ this is, indeed, the longest thing I've written that wasn't for school. and the summary is just a blurb because i had no idea what to write there. lol, I'm sitting at my laptop while crying my eyes out...... but uh.... I hope you like it ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ

You smoke, Dabi takes that into account on the first day he sees you. Dabi hates cigarettes, despises them. He hates that itchy feeling his lungs get whenever he takes a drag, hates the way it makes him feel abyssal, co-dependent. And if there's one thing that Dabi hates, it's relying on something else that wasn't him self.

With that into consideration, he’s not entirely sure why you catch his eye, you’re not typically the type he goes for. He usually chose the dainty ones, the ones that were so eager to experience a jive of thrill, they don’t realize that they’ve encountered a person who played an important role in one of the most powerful villain organizations.

You're in the corner of a dingy bar, the dim lights somehow doing your angelic features justice. The light catches the glint of your name tag and the pastel blue of your scrubs. You look tired. Even from a far distance, he can see the sunken tent of your cheeks. The cigarette stick which hangs from in between your index finger and middle is halfway from becoming a stub. The plastic platter of pretzels that sit across from your chest is untouched as you grumble out replies to the bartender who's trying to make conversation with —a very uninterested— you.

When the clock hits eleven, your bar stool is scraping the ground as you attempt to leave. The relentless bartender grabs your arm with one last plea. His voice raising when you deny the idea that you should give him your number because you're too pretty to be by yourself. With one last pull, you stomp away towards the exit. Dabi doesn't know if it's because he's a villain too, but he follows after you. His senses telling him that there’s no way the bartender who you’d just rejected would let his wounded pride stay unbandaged.

He’s careful not to make any noises with the soles of his boots. The absence of street lights concealing his figure. Unbeknownst to him, his body enforces the skills he uses while stalking his next prey. His languid motions flowing with the same transverse as the cold, biting wind.

And you don’t notice a thing, your hands stuffed into the pockets of your thick silver jacket. But when your walking comes to a stop, Dabi’s heart nearly tumbles out from his chest. Not a second later, you pull out a pack of cigarettes and place one to your lips, lighting it in one go. When you resume walking, Dabi’s body internally holds a jubilee with jeers of relief. He’s not exactly sure why he’s helping you but what type of person would he be if he let a pretty lady like you get hurt?

At the thought, his throat tickles with the hope to let out a laugh.

When Dabi hears the crunch of leaves that bounce off the cracked concrete, for the second time that night he nearly breaks into a fit of laughter. The culprit’s first step is to trap you behind the fenced wall and his burly figure. What an amateur.

A part of Dabi wants to wait and see what you do. Are you a regular civilian? Do you have a strong quirk that would fight him off? His trail of thought evaporates when you hiccup out a laugh, smoke from the corner of your lips flowing into the man’s face. Dabi’s eyebrows quirking up with interest. What’s your next act?

After several hitches of breath, nothing comes and Dabi finally decides to step in as he feels the waves of anger emitting from the balding, middle-aged man who has you cornered.

The confrontation is brief —when the bartender turns to glance at an approaching lean, scarred figure, he scurries off without a word.

“Didn’t have to help me, I had it in the bag.” You squint at your savior as your cigarette bobs with the movement of your full lips. His stature towers over yours but you don’t seem the little bit phased.

“You weren’t scared,” he says and it’s more of a question than a statement. His cool voice sends a frosty layer through each stack of your vertebrae. Though, it slowly ebbs away as you study his features and realize how pretty he is —his eyes a pool of melted lapis. Sharp cheekbones molded to accustom to scars and silver staples that do nothing but add to your thinking connotation of him being ambiguity personified.

“Yeah, even if he did... you know.” You wave your hand. “He would’ve died sooner or later.” Dabi’s eyes narrow in confusion as he catches the way your eyelashes flutter prettily against your skin.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh.. uh- he had heart issues, the kind you can’t recover from.” You remove the lit stick from your lips and give him a full-toothed smile. “Thank you, Mr. Stranger.” And with that, you turn away and resume your lethargic walk down an empty alleyway.

Must be your quirk. Dabi thinks as he watches your figure disappear into the grasping shadows of the night. When he returns to the battered LOV hideout, he goes out of his way to avoid any interaction with the League. Refusing to taint his memory of your pretty smile and pretty face.

The next time Dabi sees you, you’re in the same place. This time you’re not wearing scrubs, opting for a more casual look with a baby blue top that contrasts nicely with your skin and jeans that accentuate your figure. You don't have a pack of cigarettes either.

Unlike before, you notice his stare and you bathe in it. The bartender from the other day all but glances at you. Amusingly, you turn to glance at the brooding figure in the corner of the bar with a knowing look.

After two beers and spinning courage, you walk towards Dabi with sway in your step. His eyes follow your movement until you decide to situate yourself next to him in the booth. His low lids focus on you as you fidget with your manicured fingers. Cute. He thinks. You’re too cute for your own good.

“What’s your name?” You break the silence. Teeth gnawing into the plush dent of your bottom lip.

Dabi takes his time to mull over his answer, he doesn’t notice the way his body temperature flares nor the tiny blue flames that threaten to dance on his scabbed knuckles. A grasp —an unfamiliar cloak, wraps its fabric around his shoulders. Prickles of his being push with urgency to ease it away but it’s all in vain.

“Touya.”

Touya, from the corner of his eye, watches your eyes light up with interest. Bright and wide with swirling specks of gaiety— joy. Which Dabi guesses are because of him. He turns his attention away from you, not wanting to get warped into your pretty eyes that sparkle just from hearing his name.

“S’ a pretty name,” you whisper. Sporting a subtle grin, one that blows wide when you see all four chambers of his heart pumping wildly with blood.

“Can you walk me home, Touya?”

It goes on like this, again and again —conversations with Touya at the back of the bar, sitting next to him in the grimy booth. His replies are quip ones but you know he’s listening to your idle chatter because you feel the way his eyes bore into your skull.

The night always comes to a close with both of you walking shoulder to shoulder, the plans of your upcoming day echoing off the bounds of the night sky. You live in an apartment building, a shitty one. He remembers you complaining about the squeaky floorboards, your loud neighbors, and the pervy, greasy-haired landlord that barges through your door at the most unreasonable times of the day. Touya raises his eyebrow at that.

“I’ll take care of him for you.” The words fly past his lips before he can stop them.

Your response is a peal of robust laughter that comes to a halt when you pull out a cigarette. “I’ll be sure to come to you,” you say. Today marked the thirtieth time you both engaged in subtle conversation. He takes note in the fact that you only smoke when you wear scrubs —the rope of curiosity gets the best of him.

“I have to keep up with the appearance of my two personalities, duh.” Touya has no clue what you mean but your clipped tone tells him that he shouldn't pry.

Meanwhile, your eyes flit to his sapphire ones than to his lips.

“Touya?”

“Mhm?”

“Can I kiss you?” You watch the way his eyes widen with a low giggle.

But before he can answer, your lips are already on his. He’s quick to take action as he cups the underside of your jaw, your breath minty even though you just had a smoke. His head’s a mess, there’s a jumble of terms that fail to come together and form coherent ones. The only thing his brain can commit is the pillowy softness of your lips. Sadly, he can’t enjoy the whole experience. His bottom lip erased with the tissue needed to feel, only leaving a purpled patch in its wake.

For a second, his chest tides over with a tinge of shame but it’s quickly washed away as you pull him even closer. Your small, gentle fingers carding through his soft, inky tresses.

The kiss ends when you pull away with a breathless sigh. You stay close to him, noses nearly touching as once shared breaths mingle. His hands are on your hips now, slowly kneading the soft flesh. A couple of seconds dart by as your dark eyes stare into his bright ones. The low-lighted area giving them a fascinating glow.

You want to tell him how pretty he looks at this moment. His flustered expression causing your gut to simmer with heat.

You need to tell him how nicely entrapped his presence always makes you feel but something in you decides against it, choosing to save it for another time. So you search for an alternative, breath growing unsteady as you stumble across one.

“Can you....walk me home, Touya?” This time it's different from the first night you asked him.

This time your voice trails off with a much different undertone.

››››››››››››››››››››› ~★~ ›››››››››››››››››››››

Touya wakes up before you do. Peeks of the sun squeeze through your bedroom blinds, casting a shining glow on your skin. As he studies your peaceful features, he encounters a divulgence. One that causes his skin to crawl with parasites that immediately beg him to keep up with this facade. To derive a little longer and enjoy this bliss at his own expense. However, Touya decides against it. It’s quite obvious that he’s not the safest person to be around, his appearance giving that thought away.

It might be better if he tells you first, he thinks.

It might be better if he lets a precious thing like you go before he builds a stockpile of lies that’ll eventually come crashing down when the realization finally hits.

“I’m a villain, you know,” he murmurs as he watches your eyelids flutter open. He grimaces as he tries to think of what your reaction may be. The first words you woke up to would have to be that you’d let a criminal into your home —into your bed.

He sits up to place his back on your cool headboard. The bell of anxiousness that sits at the pit of his stomach rings after a few beats of silence. You turn to stare at his upright figure with two arms tucked underneath your satin pillow. “I know, m’ not stupid, Touya.” You grumble, turning your head to return to sleep.

“What?” His eyebrows knit has his chest shutters with disbelief.

You ignore his bewilderment. “Since we’re confessing our deepest, darkest secrets can I tell you what could’ve been my villain origin story?” Touya stares at your face before bursting into laughter, one that nearly causes the staples around his jaw to unhinge. Though, this laughter is one of relief.

A part of him doesn’t believe it.

He doesn’t think he’s ever done a deed so right, so pure, that had earned him someone like you. The only thing his reeling mind can suffice is that he had killed a scum in some random, dirty alley that ended up being the lowest of the low. At the random thought, he laughs some more.

“What?” You can’t help but giggle, his laughter —which was a rare entity— made you giddy with joy. ��I’m serious!” You pout, turning away from him to feign anger, your ears stay perked up as his smooth, rich laughter fills your bedroom with warmth.

“Okay, fine I won’t tell you.” His laughter trails off as he moves from the headboard to lie directly across from you.

“Alright, tell me.” His abnormal body heat causes you to shuffle closer until you rest your head on his chest.

When your story is done, he can’t help but stare at the ceiling in cerebrate silence.

At the age of fifteen, a program introduced by the hero association had recruited kids with abilities related to the medical field. Yours being an x-ray like quirk that allowed you to detect diseases, broken bones, and infections. Ones even normal x-ray’s couldn’t see. Forced to drop out of high school to take nursing classes and discard your latest stage of childhood life, you’d already become a registered nurse before the ripe age of nineteen. You worked in a special division, one where you only dealt with pro-heroes. You tell Touya about your worst encounter, one where you diagnosed a collection of broken ribs and the incapability to do hero work for several weeks and got shoved so hard that your ankle had twisted. Fortunately, the program had been discarded when you were twenty. With your inability to do other things that weren’t related to nursing you decided to stay one.

“Where were your parents?” It takes you a second to answer, chest deflating in the worst kind of way as you remember your father and mother’s shame-ridden faces staring back at your own —your's ridden with disbelief.

“They got money, so it didn’t really matter what happened to me.” You whisper, using the soft pad of your index finger to trace his scarred skin.

“Wanted to be a writer, Touya.” You try your best to hold in your cries but to no avail. “Wanted to write a best-seller,” You laugh, but it’s overshadowed by the watery sob that follows.

And with that, he finally understands. You’re two personas, a writer and a nurse. His chest tides up with pride once he realizes that he’s probably the first person to see and understand what they both mean to you.

“You can still be one,” he says. But it’s a promise of his own in disguise. I’ll change the world for you, make it so you can do anything you want to. It echoes from his every syllable and trails off with a familiar lilt.

And you see it too —hope-filled eyes flit to glittering ones. His, a bright pair of blue gems that shine with raw, unfiltered passion- yet to be completely polished. Against your will, every tendril of your being untwines and wraps itself around his words- you believe him. Unconsciously, your lips blow into a wide smile. “I’ll hold you to it, Touya.”

The stagnant air diffuses once you ask him a question, “when’s your birthday?”

Internally, you kick yourself in the shin as Touya shoots you a whimsical look. You’re not sure why this is the first personal question you decide to ask him.

But to you, Touya’s painted in grey, moral wise. You’ve only known him for less than a month, his background revealed the same night you met him. When you were with Touya, he didn’t seem like a villain. Villains were supposed to be vile, viscous people that didn’t dissolve properly into the troughs of today’s society.

His touch was gentle, handling you with nothing other than care. But you’re sure he’s used those same nimble fingers to inflict pain on whomsoever he chose. To you, Touya’s a jigsaw. You’re prepared —at least you think you are— to solve it. Prepared to start with the small pieces. And when those gradually come together, you’d use them as a guide. Treading carefully to work from known to unknown.

However, Touya prays to the gods that you don’t use your quirk to see the way his heart pumps wildly and the way his breath hitches. It took him over a decade to muddle his brain with different memories to overshadow his past ones not wanting for the abstained shadows of remembrance to embrace him. It’s not that he doesn’t trust you.

Dabi doesn’t trust himself.

“December 15th.” Your eyes widen when you realize the day was when you both had met. “I was your birthday gift then, huh.” You giggle, pressing closer to his body to feel the erratic thump of his heart.

“Guess so.” A good lie is always better than the truth.

That’s what he tells himself when Tomura asks where he’s been for the past couple of months. Vehement, crimson eyes digging into Dabi’s skull. He scoffs in annoyance, opting to tell the blue-haired man that he’d been out of town to scout for new members. Rummaging through underground areas where the average of villains was the thickest.

And yes, they’re all lies. He’s happy that Tomura is as dumb as he looks. Though it may be because Dabi has mastered the art of weaving intricate webs of lies- he’s grateful, nonetheless.

When Dabi turns away from him, Tomura’s eyes narrow.

Shigaraki Tomura isn’t as dumb as he looks. But Dabi didn’t know that -at least, not yet.

Here in the LOV hideout, where Dabi’s just a ruthless flame kindler, he finds no self-content, only impatience. Sometimes, taking part in Toga’s antics as a source of entertainment, her bloodlust too damn thick to ignore.

Impatience, a contagious drug that filters through Dabi’s veins and causes his blood to sear whenever he thinks about the overturn he wants hero society to so badly face. It’s the only way this ache of his can be soothed.

At first, it was just for him to bask in -for him to enjoy. For him to see a part of his past, burn. To see a rage of flames that -in time, turned to a cinder, his memories with it.

But now, he wants you to see it too. He wants to keep you tucked by his side as everything unfolds. Knowing this, he waits. Dabi’s not naive, this dream of his isn’t a one-man act.

Though, the biggest step closer to glory comes earlier than expected…

He’s a hero, the number two pro hero in all of Japan. His speed and the aid of his wings being his strongest suit. The information he provides is what still causes the Leauge to thrive. And the reason that Shigaraki now knows of the Meta Liberation Army. A powerful villain organization that rivaled Tomura’s very own. Led by a man named Destro, a name that every villain’s supposed to know. Kuriogi tells him this in his usual monotone voice, he’s the founder and now his son currently leads the army. The thing is, Dabi does know but for other reasons. His father was a hero after all.

Shigaraki orders Dabi to keep watch over Hawks. Sure, Dabi has his suspicions too, but he couldn’t differentiate if it’s the hostility he feels after he learns Hawks’ friendly relationship with Endeavor or for the fact that several missions had been deemed as errors because of the red-winged man’s mistakes.

Though, his stress dissipates when he comes home to you. It didn’t take a lot of time for Touya to get accustomed to your apartment. He’s used to living in shitty places, the League had been -and still is- living in one for months.

Fortunately, your landlord never comes around. You think it’s because of Touya’s intimidating presence but it stretches farther than that. Farther into the territory of what makes Touya into the fearful villain he is. But, you didn’t have to know that. Touya deliberates. You were stressed enough as it is.

Sometimes you’re not even home, late shift reminders overtaking your flimsy calendar. On those days, when you return, you’re so tired that Touya has to undress and bathe you himself. It’s never a toll, he enjoys listening to your barely decipherable recaps of your day, ones that sometimes turn into angry speeches of frustration that he’s sure to soothe with soft kisses to your pursed lips.

“Touya,” you whisper. Head in the crook of his neck while he lathers your body with body wash. Your head’s cloudy, exhaustion taking its home in your body.

“Mhmm.”

“Love you, like.. a lot.” The words bleed together with little to no pauses. It’s so slurred that Touya has to mull over it.

When he finally separates them in his head, he pauses. Eyes going wide as the grip on the pink loofah loosens.

Those words had never been emitted between you two. They were the three forbidden syllables that hung still, frozen in mid-air. It should’ve been easy to say. So easy to confess if push ever came to shove and the tides of adoration ever became too much to bear.

Despite that - in Touya’s head, his sole belief was that he was a package of damaged goods. What solace could you find if he ever told you that he loved you? Would it bring you happiness- fear?

Months had passed between the two of you, the light of winter and spring passing with intertwined hands. But what if- what if- you didn’t love Touya as much as he thought? What if you stayed by his side because you took pity on him? Took pity on a man who had no efficiency, no worth, no value, and used it to your heart’s content to mend yourself together.

Unbeknownst to him, those thoughts had run aimlessly across your mind as well. Both of you were damaged goods. Both of you unfamiliar with the thrum of the common melody.

When you feel his movements halt, a part of you feels victorious.

Oh, how lucky you were for being high on delirium. This was a chance pulled out of luck’s pocket.

“Don’t gotta say it, I see it.” He lowers his gaze to see you staring intensely at his chest. Which no doubt encases an organ that beats wildly because of your words. For the first time in a long time, he grows embarrassed. A streak of red blossoms from under his scarred cheeks as he chooses to hide his head in your neck, inhaling the strong citrusy scent of your body wash.

Hesitantly, you brush your fingers across the expanse of his back. Careful to avoid rough skin. Hoping that with your touch, you can convey a message of understanding.

I love you Touya and I know you love me.

››››››››››››››››››››› ~★~ ›››››››››››››››››››››

On a week that you’re finally off from work, you choose to spend it with Touya. He‘s barely out anyways. When you ask him why he’s never out doing villainy things. He answers with, “to spend time with you, princess.” A chortle at the end of his sentence when he sees you duck your head in embarrassment.

“Wanna go dress shopping with me tomorrow?” You ask, taking a handful of potato chips in your palm, focus still on your tv show -which Touya believes is the most boring thing he’s ever come across.

He turns to glance at you, eyebrows knitted as he contemplates.

He knows he shouldn’t, situations where his identity might be discovered, wouldn’t be good for the both of you.

And if Tomura were to find out…. the possibilities were too endless and Touya would keel over before he put your life in jeopardy.

But he still says yes- he’s never actually seen you wear a dress, he tells you. A subtle smile adorning his lips when he sees yours. He doesn’t ask why you want to buy a dress all of a sudden but he doesn’t mind.

The next day, you dress him up in a big burly coat that you had found at a thrift store years ago. Touya scrunches up his nose in disdain as you pull it up to cover his purple-hued scars, the fabric smelling oddly like sulfur. If it weren’t for the way you seemed so focused on hiding his identity he would’ve discarded the clothing a long time ago. He thinks the last straw is when you plop a pair of dark sunglasses on his nose.

“Don’t look at me like that!” you fuss. “I tried my best.”

“Was your best option really a combination of coat and sunglasses?” He exasperates, voice coming out muffled.

“What... I can’t hear you?” You cup the back of your ear, feigning curiosity.

He rolls his eyes at your comment. “Whatever, let’s go.”

You grab your silver coat from your rack and walk outside, both of you making it to your beat-down Honda. As Touya shuffles in the passenger seat you can’t help but giggle at his uncomfortable posture, they turn louder when he turns to glare at you but fails miserably, his intimidating face shrouded by the coat and glasses.

When you enter the boutique a small ding of a bell hits your ear. You smile in victory once you realize the vacancy. A short lady with gray hair waddles towards you and Touya. “Well, hello there!” She exclaims her soft voice matching with the appearance of her shop. Sweet and adorable. “What are you two looking for today.” She walks closer to you two, her motherly aura shrouding you in contentment.

“Well… I’m not entirely too sure,” you say, clasping your hands behind your back. “But something blue and flowy.” You hum.

“Blue and flowy, you say?” She turns. “Follow me.”

You turn to glance at Touya, whose attention is already on you. You grab his hand and follow behind. She leads you to a wide room, the smell of laundry detergent filtering through the air. Your eyes widen once you see the rows of dresses adorned in plastic.

“These are all my babies.” She waves and turns to you with an expectant look, eyes crinkling as she gives you a warm smile.

“They’re real pretty, aren't they?” You nod. “Well, the dressing rooms are back there.” She points to the far right. “If you need anything just come to me, I’ll be at the front desk.”

You walk towards the small corridor of dressing rooms and pick the first one you see. Pushing Touya into the stall, you place your hands on your hip after clicking the door shut. He takes his sunglasses off and shoots you a quizzical look.

“Show me your flames,” you breathe out, palms growing clammy as nervousness starts to set in.

You wring your hands as you watch his adam's apple bob, his stare turning hard. “No.”

You cross your arms and plead. “Please Touya, I wanna find a dress that matches your flames. They’re probably really pretty… don’t know why you won’t show me.” Your voice trails off.

He had an idea that this would happen sooner or later. There were times where you did see his flames but those were accidents. He always made sure to quickly extinguish them when he caught your peering eyes.

His chest floods with guilt once he sees your disappointed expression. He didn’t think his flames were pretty. He’d melted too many flays of flesh to count. The last thing he wanted to do was show you the bright-tinged spirit responsible for his grave sins.

But one dilemma Touya has is that he can’t ever seem to jump over the weak spot he has for you. So, he gives a meek - fine.

He watches your features light up with glee, only hoping that you wouldn’t regret asking him for this. “Can I take the coat off, first?” You hum, scrambling to do it for him. Revealing his plain white tee and his dark black jeans.

“Step back for me,” he whispers, gnawing at the bottom of his scarred lip. He opens the palm of his hand- to first, show a tiny blue flame that sways languidly. Progressively, he increases the flame until it engulfs his hand and upper wrist. When he looks up from his palm to your face, he’s surprised to see that your eyes aren't menacingly calculating or searching for release from fear. Instead, you look on in astonishment.

He sees the reflection of his flames in your eyes and from that circled mirror, a tiny nibble of his conscience starts to ebb with pride of his quirk.

After gushing about how pretty his flames look, you commit the color to memory. Dashing out of the stall to search for a dress, humming a tune when you envision his reaction to seeing you in such a nice, quaint dress on such a special day.

He perks up once you unlock the door, expecting you to change and show him what you’ve found. But instead, he’s met with your smiling face and what seems to be a dress -shrouded in a velvet coverup. “Don’t look so disappointed.” You wag your finger in front of his face. “You’ll see it soon.”

When December rolls by with chilly air as company, you start to see Touya less and less. He never does tell you what exactly it is he does while out doing villain work. Though, he did tell you that his absences would occur more and more since he and his league were working hard to take down a villain organization.

Your eyebrows had furrowed at that. “I thought villains were supposed to band together,” you asked, head resting on his thigh as you stared up at his face. “Not ones with different philosophies,” he had said, hand suspiciously inching closer and closer to your chest. You hummed, still confused.

It might sound naive, but you couldn’t find it in you to care. Hero society didn’t interest you. You couldn’t say villains did either but Touya was one. One of the bigshots.

Once, when you’d seen him on the little tv in the corner of your break room, it took a lot in you to not crack a smile. Though the idea of bringing chaos into the world with wide arms made your nerves rack with trepidation, you had Touya, and that seemed like enough.

Fortunately, Touya not being home was a benefit to your plan. You’d already scheduled your days off for work and booked the reservations for the fancy restaurant that was at least an hour’s drive from your apartment building. It was hard work, but for Touya’s birthday, it was all worth it.

››››››››››››››››››››› ~★~ ›››››››››››››››››››››

Shigaraki Tomura does not like to be lied to.

If he had written commandments for the people he came across, that would be his first line, golden engraved. It’s an unexplainable feeling he gets. If he could, he’d describe it as an itchy, hot coil that warps across his skin. It’s not painful, it’s simply annoying. And he feels it nearly every day. The scars that mar his neck being a result of it.

Why does the world have to be riddled with so many liars?

Dabi’s a liar, he knows that much. Hawks, that red-winged hero may be one too, but he’d deal with that when things finally came into play.

Now, he focuses on the man Dabi truly is. Villains lie. Shigaraki knows this, he’s a villain too. But- he tells the truth when it comes to his goals.

He tells the truth with what he wants.

What he wants LOV to bring.

What he wants society to flood with.

So why couldn’t Touya Todoroki do the same?

Shigaraki Tomura’s smart and Dabi is a fool to not see this. Who came up with the plans? The missions? The very concept of LOV? Sure, AFO had shaped him into who he was today but he was the same man locked in Tartarus, not Tomura.

When Tomura finds the roots of Dabi’s lies through Kurogiri’s peering eyes. It takes an hour of pleading for the ghastly man to convince Tomura not to find Dabi and disintegrate him into a fine pile of dust.

“Why should I!” Tomura shouts, his ruby eyes glaring into Kurogiri’s yellow ones. “He lied to me.” Shigaraki spits out the word so hastily and it’s as if saying the word itself was a sin of its own. Kurogiri nods, silently transmitting his words of understanding, not wanting to raise his temper even higher.

“But Dabi’s an important member of the League, Tomura.” Kurogiri coaxes. “In a week or so, we’ll be off to fight with M.L.A. If anything give him a warning, a threat. Just don’t kill the boy.” Shigaraki takes a second to glare at Kurogiri but eventually, his shoulders sag with defeat.

Even though Dabi had committed the gravest sin, he’d show mercy.

Begrudgingly, he grabs the cup of orange juice from Kurogiri’s hand, his thoughts flying at a fast pace, anger refusing to subside. All until his thinking cogs get stuck on one idea, one thought.

The thought crawls out from his mind and paints his expression with one of sickening glee. His smile so wide, that rivulets of blood dribble down from his cracked lips. His tongue darts out to lap up the tangy liquid as he gets high on this idea, on this revelation.

Shigaraki Tomura needs Dabi but Shigaraki Tomura does not need you.

Tomura knows everything about you, your background, your parents, the countless homes you had to reside in, where you live as of now- where you and Dabi live as of now. Where you work and what exactly you’re planning to do on the 15th day of December. It’s terrifyingly easy to uncover reservation logs.

You’re a pretty woman, Tomura could admit that. But you were a stain in his perfect, webbed canvas of the future. Those countless months where he had expected Dabi to be his righteous subordinate and listen to his demands were spent with you. Cooped up at your run-down apartment doing god knows what.

Tomura’s teeth grit as he digs into the flesh of his neck, specks of blood underneath his fingernails while he fervently scratches the already scabbed skin. Kurogiri glances over at him, seemingly reading his mind.

“I’m leaving.” Shigaraki swipes up from his dusty seat. Oh, how he missed the elegance of his LOV’s old hideout.

“Don’t forget AFO’s orders concerning Gigantomachia.”

Tomura blinks once, twice. “That thing has way too much HP.” He breathes out.

“For now, I need to do something else.” He whispers, bringing his embalmed hand to rest on his face.

››››››››››››››››››››› ~★~ ›››››››››››››››››››››

Whenever Touya thought of coincidences he thought of the word luck. It was a coincidence that Touya had been at the same bar as you, a coincidence that because of your lack of care for hero society that you’d glossed over the fact that he was a villain. But as Touya stood in your empty apartment, bloody and bruised from his prior fight, his connotation of coincidences slowly turned sour. A bitter taste sat on his tastebuds as he read over your note.

Happy Birthday Touya, my love.

meet me at the Burqoues Restaurant!

Take an uber…. I don’t have any money for one

(using it on the restaurant money)

so I’ll just take my car.

p.s. you’ll get to see my dress.

It was a coincidence that the day he told you was his birthday was the very day the League of Villians had merged with the Meta Liberation Army. Touya didn’t know what this grappling hook of fear was, but as he saw that your Honda was still idly parked in that weird angle you always had a habit of doing -it came to take its hold around his neck.

Maybe you’d actually found a couple of bucks and took an uber instead. Right?

You were probably in the restaurant, ordering that expensive champagne you really wanted to try. Ready to show that pretty, wide smile you always gave Touya when you saw him.

Right?

Touya couldn’t think- couldn’t breathe as he sped down the street. His grip on the wheel was so tight that his staples were close to popping. The loud ringing in his ears drowned out the persistent honking of cars that he nearly collided with.

What should’ve taken an hour took a measly twenty minutes. Without a second thought, Touya was already out of the car.

Upon entering, he received perturbed glances. He didn’t blame them, his clothes were bloodied, several staples unhinged from the skin.

“S-sir?” a tiny voice squeaked. He glanced at the receptionist desk, the bright chandeliers illuminating her meek stare that looked borderline terrified. He probably looked like a villain.

“D-do you have a reservation.”

“Yes.” He answered gruffly, head craning to see if he could catch sight of you.

“Your name please.”

“Touya.” He gritted, eyes focusing back on the receptionist who didn’t seem to believe him. She ducked her head to check, eyes scanning frantically.

“Oh, yes!” She smiled, it was too wide to be real but, frankly, Touya didn’t care. All he needed to know was that you were here.

“Table 15.” She pointed. “You won’t miss it.”

Touya didn’t bother to reply, legs already scrambling towards what he hoped would be you. Ignoring the stares that followed behind him.

Table 12

Table 13

Table 14

Table 15-

Touya's heart nearly stops, vision tinging with black as his knees nearly crumble beneath him.

You weren’t there.

››››››››››››››››››››› ~★~ ›››››››››››››››››››››

When Touya returned to the now, Paranormal Liberation Army hideout, Shigaraki had given him a smile so sweet that it had caused Touya's blood to run cold.

However, Touya did not pry, choosing to ignore the guilty glances the rest of the league sent his way. And he hated himself for it, hated the coward he'd grown to be in such a short period of time.

Later on that night, he returned to your desolate apartment, choosing to take a cigarette from your half- empty pack.

Yes, Touya despised cigarettes but at that moment they'd never tasted so sweet. His lungs didn't itch, he didn't feel abyssal. He just felt— soothed. As he took several drags, Touya silently pleaded for the nicotine to somehow make every fiber of his being believe that you had decided to finally leave.

That you had finally realized that a villain like him was no good and would only put your life at risk.

However, his façade had cracked when he'd found multiple files on your desolate laptop, drafts of your story in the making. The first page dedicated to your love for giving you the motivation to publish your first ever book.

And at that moment, for the first time in his godforsaken life, Touya wished he could cry. To show you, somehow that he was grateful for everything you had given him. That he was thankful and sorry for letting his mirror that reflected thousands of moments with you -your arms cradling him, him cradling you- shatter into fractured pieces.

As Touya Todoroki sat on a velvet sofa, arms wide and camera ready, a piece of his brain fabricated the image of you next to him --adorned in a sapphire blue dress, showing him that pretty, pretty smile that he’d grown to love, he told you —and told the world the story he never had the chance to.

To simply, atone.

#dabi x reader #dabi angst #dabi fluff #mha x reader #mha fluff #mha angst

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hela-avenger · 5 years ago

Text

poison & wine- part 35

Author: hela-avenger

Word Count: 1065

Summary: Prince Loki of Asgard is in need of a date to take back home. That’s where you come in with a task of your own to make the whole trip with an insufferable prince worth it. Too bad that things don’t always go as planned and you end up giving more than you can take. Fake-Dating AU.

A/N: Here we have it readers! The end of this long and great journey! Hope you enjoyed it! Epilogue coming this Saturday!

poison & wine masterlist

You feel everything fall into place when you finally kiss him. The emotions that had been storming inside for the past few months were finally settling allowing you a peace that you had sought for when you had left.

This was where you were meant to be. This was the place you’ve been looking for in your travels.

You slowly pull away realization dawning on you of what you just did.

You don’t regret it.

Your emotions had been too much for you when Loki made his appearance. You needed an outlet and this was what you decided to do. You just hope that Loki would understand.

“What did you do that for?” Loki breathes out.

He seems dazed and you intend to use this to your advantage as you try to pull yourself away from his chest. He doesn’t allow it, holding you in place.

“I wanted to,” you answer honestly. “I’ve been wanting to kiss you since our last day in Asgard.”

“But why now?” Loki asks. “Why not do it then?”

“Because we were under a lie and I…” you hesitate to continue. “I wanted to kiss you because I wanted to not because I had to in order to sell our fake courtship.”

“And why did you find a need to kiss me?”

“Why do you think I did?”

“Y/N…”

You slip away from his hold as you found that the butterflies in your stomach were quickly disappearing at his questioning.

Wasn’t it obvious how you feel for him? Especially now?

“After all this time, you can’t expect me to say it.”

“You’re angry with me.”

“Of course I am,” you exclaim. “You broke me. You humiliated me. You told me to leave!”

“Leave the room not the realm!”

“Well, how was I supposed to know that?!”

“It’s pure common sense!”

“Common sense?” you repeat. “Common sense would be not to yell at me in front of the entire population of Asgard!”

“I wouldn’t have had to do such a thing if you had just listened the first time!”

“You are such a jerk! I don’t know how I could have considered actually accepting the Apple of Idunn to spend the rest of my life with you. You are an ignorant, selfish person. I can’t believe I lov-”

Before you can continue, Loki’s hand is on your chin tilting it up as he presses his mouth on yours. He’s much more gentler than you were but the effect is all the same. Perhaps even more so since he was the one who initiated it.

You melt into him any anger you held disappearing the moment his lips softly dance with yours. His hand is warm against your cheek before it moves to dig into your hair to tilt your head higher. You feel light. Light enough to float away if your hands weren’t clinging to his coat as an anchor.

Loki pulls away too soon for your liking sporting a stupid grin. It was as if he knew a secret he shouldn’t.

“I love you too.”

“What?” you whisper in surprise causing Loki to laugh.

“I love you too,” he repeats.

His words echo in your mind and you can’t help but find his amusement over you grating.

“Too?” you ask. “I never said it.”

“You were about to…”

“But I didn’t!”

“You are insufferable, woman,” Loki exclaims with false annoyance.

“You like that about me,” you point out to him with a laugh. “You like my fire.”

“No,” Loki answers with a shake of his head. “I love that about you.”

Your laughter fades away at the sincerity in his eyes. It dug deeply into your soul and you find yourself back to that day in Asgard. Back to that moment alone before you entered the reception of hell.

In that peaceful moment, Loki’s stare had been different. It had haunted you all these months you were away as you tried to decipher it. The answer was very obvious but you were so blinded with anger and pain that you hadn’t realized it until now.

He loves you. Prince Loki of Asgard loves you.

“You really do love me,” you sigh.

“Of course I do,” Loki answers. “You’ve had my heart since the first moment I saw you at Stark’s gala all those months ago.”

Your heart is beating quite fast as you realize that everything you’ve ever wanted was just at your reach. All you had to do was seize it.

“I love you, Loki,” you finally tell him. “I really do. I love you.”

Loki is quick to kiss you again and you can’t help but laugh into it. His excitement over your confession being amusing to you. He presses another kiss on your forehead before looking down at you.

“Would you do me the honor of courting me?” Loki asks you. “No lies, no deals. A real and honest courtship.”

You can’t help but keep him on his toes as you playfully think it over.

“Do I have to make you another shirt?”

“No.”

“Will we have to present ourselves to the court and ask for your father’s blessing?”

“No,” Loki smiles.

“Would we have to fight off another Bilgesnipe?”

Loki is quick to laugh and shakes his head.

“If that’s the case then... yes,” you answer. “It would be an honor to court you, Prince Loki of Asgard.”

You throw your arms around his shoulders and push yourself on your toes to press a kiss on his lips but you’re interrupted from doing so as wolf whistles and loud cheering fill the air.

You turn around to find Bucky and the rest of your friends watching in amusement. You glare at them in return.

“Are you staying then?” Bucky calls out.

You turn to Loki who’s waiting on your response like the rest of them.

“Are you, pet?”

“Yes, I’m staying,” you answer. “It seems I’ve been thoroughly convinced.”

You hear them cheer once more but you could only focus on the man in front of you.

“Seems like we’ve gathered a crowd,” you point out to him. “Why don’t we give them a real show?”

Loki grins at your request and quickly pulls you close to kiss you. The cheering and whistling continues but you couldn’t care for it. You’re finally happy as you kissed the man you so deeply love.

poison & wine tag: @damalseer @just-the-hiddles @jessiejunebug@nonsensicalobsessions @smollest-soybean @assassinoftheworld@readerbandit @doyoufeelikeayounggod @strangemcuvlogs @ha-tep @i-dont-know-eiither @gene-king @day-dreaming-fox @bn-studies @is-it-madness @devilbat @victor-criss-bish @skinny-macncheese @musicconversedance @baby-bunnyxn @fandoms-allovertheplace @marvelloonie @jinxjinxednova @queenmuahaha@accio-boys @eternalqueensworld @umlvk @roger-the-reindeer@punkrockhufflefluff @your-local-abyss@horsesandwolvesaremyanimals @rogerrhqpsody @imsad420@pandacookieowo @justnerdystuffs @hanoi15 @oneprolificqueen @nikki-who-likes-coffee @fandomrelative @nikki419ninja @onedollarduck @help-i-need-a-social-life @ephemeraljade @catsladen @amwolowicz @captainmarvelnerd @thegirlbeyondtheuniverse @ddaeing @leftperfectionmoon

Loki Tag: @unicorniorosacomefrutillas @thesilentbluesparrow@oddly-drawn-muse @josiehosiedaninja @hp-hogwartsexpress@sadwaywardkid @wolf-lover74 @sizzlingbarbarianglitter @sigyn-njorddottir @aoirohi @defunctcherrybomb @horsesandwolvesaremyanimals

All Works Tag: @jmb959 @astudyoftimeywimeystuff@hellocookiecutter @steve-rogers-personal-hell @buckybarnesyard@not-zari-tak @strangersstranger @thefridgeismybestie @moonlightprime @badhollandfluff

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ala-mhinyan · 5 years ago

Text

Dissension

Endless black was what greeted the Seeker when he found his way within the very center of his being; where his heart was most open and the melding of broken shards could acquiesce and converse with one another without one man looking half-mad as he mumbled to himself in the middle of the hallway. He’d accidentally done it once before after Yasu had turned him and his loved one’s entire lives upside down and he’d be damned if he let himself slip like that again. Ayanga promised him that home was a place where he could be safe, vulnerable and do what was needed in the safety of a place he’d never be hurt.

But. Home was the mouth of a shark. Not always. Not often.

But right now? It was the gaping maw of a predator ready to swallow him whole should he lose his footing and come tumbling down. He wasn’t ready to fall. Not yet. There was so much to do.

So his feet carried him far from home. Dunrai had gone home with Ayanga after his conversation with Kadour and C’tolemy excused himself to be alone with his thoughts. How he ended up on the sandy beach lining Costa Del Sol’s ocean? He could never tell you—he was already crossing frigid waters until he was alone on one of the smaller islands off the coast. No one would bother him; the moon steady overhead, bathing him in her radiance and promising to protect his lone form.

The lumbering form of red, leather and comfortable wool sat kneeling at the water’s edge with his head bowed toward the open ocean and the Night Mother’s omnipresent gleam. He lowered his guard, dropped his anchor and let himself fall within, carried along by the jangle of anklets and the slosh of ocean waves.

.::.

C’aziza was standing in front of him when he found himself within the inky abyss, her radiant self a perfect reflection of what C’tolemy was—only feminine. In the sway and curve of her hips, the full of her lips, the soft of her cheeks and the heavy sway of breasts that she didn’t seem at all bothered by. She retained his muscles, his wide shoulders and the overall dangerous outlook that he carried but she had a feminine wile in her that would not be tamed. He didn’t want to anyway.

She was beautiful.

She was the woman his soul represented and he was her perfect counterpoint; the man his soul represented all bound up and bowed nicely into the one everyone knew as ‘C’tolemy’. An amalgamation of woman, man and wild, unchecked aggression in the form of a gleaming yellow eyes.

C’tolemy, or—more accurately, Dasa, approached the golden women in a smooth motion of silver flesh—the contours of mountain peaks and hills mapped across his flesh to adorn him as something closer to godlihood than man. Each step sure and calculated, the flick of a long tail granting him grace you only find in performers and dancers well into their years. The flex of each muscle. The bulge and pinch of skin, sinew working underneath like a well oiled machine to move his hulking form. His golden eyes met her silver ones and her golden skin met his silver flesh.

Perfect, complete counterpoints. Two halves of the same whole.

She was the first to speak.

“We can’t do this.”

His expression veered from placid observation to politely controlled. Walled off. He was already pushing her away. “While I understand your concerns—”

“Do you? You don’t love him like I do. No one does.”

A snarl sets under his lips, “You’re right. No one loves him like you do. No one would be that stupid.”

C’aziza never could stand for insults and that was more true now than ever—with C’ajnee’s demise lingering in the distance and the growing rift between the shards within, it was no wonder she was the first to strike Dasa. The thunk and crack of bone against porcelain splits his beautiful jawline like a shattered vase. He doesn’t retaliate more than cut his eyes into a glare.

“Is this what you want, Dasa?! You want me to hurt you? To fight with you over what we’re going to do? You may pretend like you’ve changed since you met Dunrai and Ayanga but I am no fool! You can hide your heart behind the shroud of darkness and play at being heartless to everyone else but you can’t hide your heart from the one sharing it!”

Dasa rolls his jaw, popping it in several places. Unless his more feminine counterpart, he doesn’t rage wild and hot—he burns cool and steady. Ice to her fire.

“I want you, for once in your life, to be sensible. I know you love Kushal more than anything else in life but you have to see that if we go back to him he’ll break us into more pieces. It won’t end until there is nothing left of us and we’re dead in the ground never having lived a life of our own. Is that what you want? To be his.. His slave for the rest of our life?”

C’aziza bristles, a snarl rolling hot between fangs and the slim space of cheek with tongue. She looks like she’s just about ready to strike him again when she turns on her heel and stalks away from him, tail lashing. “You don’t understand. Kushal wouldn’t do this to us. He wants us.”

“He never wanted us,” he hissed bitterly, “You are the only one that still believes that lie.”

“And you want to believe it! You want to believe Kushal still wants us! That he’ll touch us tenderly and call us little one and stroke our cheek and look at us like we’re the one thing in this world he’ll never hurt! Why—Why do you always act like I’m the unreasonable one when you feel the exact same way as me?!”

“Because I won’t risk US again and YOU would! Want to, even!”

She’s upon him like a hurricane before he can think to put up a defense, crashing to the ground of the black void in a heap of glittering silver and gold. Blows are exchanged too quick to stop the tide, fists breaking against flesh and cracking it with each hit. The more they scuffle and fight, the more damage each receives—until they both are breathing hard and missing limbs. Dasa, without his left leg and Aziza missing her right arm. They separate in a flurry of color and circle about one another, hissing and testing ground between the two of them. Waiting for a slip.

Waiting for the moment one of them is off-guard.

This time, he’s the one to strike first.

“You have to face it.”

“There is nothing to face!”

“He doesn’t even care about us, you know it’s true! You know all we are to him is a toy. A play thing to use and abuse and toss away when he’s done. You think he doesn’t have another he’s grooming just like he did us?” C’aziza opens her mouth to retort but… nothing comes out. Dasa seizes the moment; tackling the woman into the ground and pinning her by the wrists so she has no choice but to look him in the eye. The struggle ensues but ultimately? He’s just a little more clever than she is powerful, catching her leg under his knee and forcing his body weight down hard to trap her where she is.

“I won’t let you undo everything we’ve done—All.. All of our progress, our growth, our healing just because you want to go back to the man that broke us in the first place! We’ve come so far, we’ve done so much—You want to throw all of that away?!”

“I won’t help you kill him!” She shrieks in return, voice hollow despite the bite and tears pooling in the corners of her eyes.

“FINE!”

C’aziza stills—Maybe she’s wo…

“I’ll do it by myself.”

“NO!”

Aziza sucks in a breath, beside herself with emotions that hit her from all angles at once—trying desperately to beat the man atop her off so that she can gain some distance… So that she can breathe. “We don’t have to do this, Dasa! We don’t have to kill him, we can go back to how it used to be! We—We can be together again! We can be perfect!”

“How can you even say that?! Did you forget what we went through? With every hit, every slap, every punch, every kick, every time he threw us off a cliff or starved us or slammed us into the ground—Every single time he hurt us he made us into a more perfect version of his fucked up little experiment, and for what?! For him to use us, train us like a damn dog?! YOU WANT THAT AGAIN?!”

“I DON’T KNOW HOW ELSE TO BE!”

She’s screaming.

“I DON’T KNOW EITHER! But I don’t want to be THAT! I NEVER want to be that again!”

“He’ll treat us differently this time, I know it!” Aziza cries out, struggling with shaking arms against the steel grip of silver hands at her wrists. It does her no good but she can’t just lie there and let this go on like this. So she struggles; she kicks and twists and beats her tail into his ribs like a bludgeon to get him off—to topple him in some way so that she can wriggle free and put space between them. “We won’t be broken like last time! Kushal is different, can’t you see it in his eyes when he looked at us? He wants to treat us so gently. He… He lov—”

“DON’T!”

The golden woman goes still.

“Please,” When did he start sounding so weak? So tired? “Please don’t say that.”

“It’ll be…” She swallows roughly, voice so high and strained. “It’ll be different. I know it will be.”

Dasa shifts above her in a slow, predatory motion until he’s properly planted over her belly and looking down at her from where he has her pinned. Golden eyes scream pain, reopened wounds of a decade gone by shining like blood on water in his gaze. She flinches and tries to look away from the hurt shes caused. He forces her to look at him with a cruel jerk of her arm, straining the socket enough to drive home his point.

“Do you understand what you’re suggesting? Really, Aziza? Can we disobey an order?”

“No, bu—”

“Do you still twitch when he raises his voice? Do you fear when his hand moves? Do you feel sick and anxious when you’re near him? Do you feel the dread? The terror? The panic?”

“Dasa—”

“We’re scared of him, Aziza. We… We shouldn’t be scared of the person we love. Is it really love if you’re terrified of their every move? Is it really love if you want to disappear when he says your name?”

. . .

“Isn’t it love that we want him in-spite of that?”

Dasa’s gut churns at the implication of those words and he’s starting to pull back just as Aziza pushes forward—flipping the tables in a turn over that has Aziza pinning the man of silver. Their bodies roll and the wild, feline screeching kicks back up as blows are exchanged between each form. It seems ceaseless for how long they continue this useless tirade and it’s only when Dasa stumbles back—missing his entire lower jaw and his tail in a mess of broken silver chunks on the floor that he finally speaks.

“If you won’t go—I will.”

“I won’t let you!”

Gold falls and crashes to the ground in a clatter like porcelain, the doll-like structure of both individuals leaving them vulnerable to each other’s targeted attacks. She stares at him with wide silver eyes, hands curled into tight fists at her side that she’s doing her all to keep to herself. Her leg is missing and there is a massive hole punched straight through the center of her chest. They both share a state of total disrepair, yet neither of them is willing to back-down from their stance. Neither willing to yield to the other’s demands for what they think is truth is so polar opposite to their counterpart.

They look like they are seconds from leaping at each other when a rush in the darkness catches their attention, the shifting darkness swirling around the form of an animal placing itself squarely between the both of them.

Pale yellow eyes stare back, unflinching as the beast holds its ground to their anger and rage.

Dasa stares the Wolf down for several long, tense, silent moments. He draws in a deep breath and edges down very slightly into relaxing, uncurling his fists to let his hands hang loosely at his sides. That seems to satisfy the wolf, turning slowly to turn that gaze onto the woman of gold. Where Dasa yielded? She hisses and snarls at the very presence of the third part of their soul.

“I will not let you kill Kushal. I—I won’t let you do it!”

The wolf takes a step forward and she takes a step back, screeching furiously at the beast as a threat to her person should it take another step forward.

“That’s enough, Aziza. It’s over.”

“This isn’t over! I love him, I won’t let you take him from me!”

“I won’t let you kill us for him.”

“We could have everything, Dasa. We’re so close.”

“And you want to ruin it all. I won’t let you.”

She snarls again, louder—hotter, burning as bright as the sun in the void space that surrounds the three of them. The brighter she seems to get, the warmer the space gets and the colder Dasa seems to run, despite the limbs they both lost in their scuffle. He lets out a low breath, frost gathering in a cloud at the tip of his lips. Everything stills and silence reigns.

Until…

“I’ll kill you if I have to.”

Aziza stares in utter disbelief at what the other half of her soul just said to her, the bewildered expression doing extra to drive that point home. The Wolf turns his head to look back at Dasa, then looks right back at Aziza and holds her gaze.

“You… You don’t mean that, Dasa. You can’t. That would ki—”

“I know.”

“And you would sti—”

“I will shatter everything that you are with my very own fists if you force my hand.”

“D...Dasa—”

“Don’t make me kill you, Aziza.”

That makes her stop and stare at Dasa like he’s alien to her. How could the other half of her very soul threaten her with destruction for chasing after the man they both love and both want to return to, even if it means breaking them apart into nothingness. She feels his emotions just as keenly as he feels hers; she knows he loves Kushal. She knows he wants to go back to Kushal. But he believes Kushal will be their undoing and she believes Kushal will be their rebirth. The look in her eye only makes Dasa tick his head up in open challenge. He isn’t backing down.

He means it.

Aziza’s face twists from disbelief to wild, uncontrolled hatred of the man in front of her—glaring daggers at him. Despite her anger and the way she snarls with malice dripping from her tone, she seems to relent. “Very well. Do what you must.”

Dasa takes a step forward and Lupa whirls around, a low growl building in the center of the wolf’s chest. It makes the man of silver take a step back and hiss low at the beast between him and his other.

“You’ve said your peace, Dasa. Leave her be.”

“I only want to keep us ali—”

“Leave. Her. Be.”

Golden eyes flick up from the wolf to rest on the festering glare of the woman just a foot out of reach—and he relents, turning his head away. If this is how it must be? It is how it will be. Aziza turns away from the man and wolf, stalking away. Dasa and Lupa soon follow her example, splitting off and going into three different directions. Their world wobbles hard and is swallowed by darkness, leaving nothing but an intense feeling of wrongness and hurt that cannot be explained.

C’tolemy’s eyes open slow, a hand reaching up to wipe away his tears as he gathers himself back together enough to stand up. His legs feel like jello, his heart aches so badly it feels like he’s moments from cracking apart but the deal has been settled. All he must do now is hold it together until the hunt is complete.

Then he will be free. They all will be.

A gathering of aether forms at the center of his person and he whisks himself away to Shirogane where a warm home and welcome family awaits. And he will greet them—

With a cat-like smile, both eyes closed and the edges of his lips upturned in a slight curl.

The smile he only gives when he doesn’t mean it.

#my writing #c'tolemy #aziza #lupa #c'ajnee #and the story reaches it's climax #back to writing hole

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mortaljin · 7 years ago

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Meadows Part Five

Word Count: 9.5k Warnings: Curse words Genre: All the damned angst and disoriented fluffy Hoseok. Fairy!Au Pairing: Hoseok x female reader.

Summary: He doesn’t remember. You. He. Doesn’t. Remember. You. Sure you were able to skip out on waiting another three full months for your fairy lover, but at what cost? Will believe you when you explain what happened? Will he even be the same? And why is the queen a little angry to see you today?

A/N: Yes, I know, I’m extending the list to likw part 10 at this point. Heres part five guys! I hope it can tie you over for a while since I’ll be going slightly MIA for a couple weeks! Please leave me your thoughts, questions, and love. I’d love to hear what you think about it xx

Masterlist

Hoseok’s POV

Why was I born a fairy? Hoseok’s red hair floated around him as warm light radiated through him. I wish Y/N could be here with me, or I with her. It was no surprise to find that his reincarnation period would again hold a world full of warm isolation. Before meeting you, Hoseok felt as though he was slowly flying through the immensely thick air, he knows better though and understands that it is the blissful feeling that can only relate to swimming. I can’t believe Y/N pushed me into that pool. Too bad I could only stand all that water for a short time. Hoseok’s face felt like it was warming, either by the light or by the enamored feelings that he felt for you. Sometimes I wish I had the dark, cooling reincarnation that Jimin says he has. He felt nothing short of love and joy at the present moment, thoughts filled with growth, positivity, and love. Thoughts filled with you. I’m so excited to reincarnate and come of age. I hope she still wants me. In an attempt to calm his racing heart, Hosoek tried to place his palm to his chest; the density of the world he was floating through made his movements slow, relaxing him even more. You were so beautiful, Y/N. Did you know that? Even in the midst of a mental breakdown, threatening to smash that pot to smithereens, you were still the prettiest being I’ve ever seen. His thoughts flew to the shocked look on your face when you first heard his voice, and for once he was grateful that he reincarnated abnormally small that night. He thought about how he kept himself hidden from you at first, not being able to reveal himself until he had seen your intentions. How did you not realize how special that seed was? The low rumble of a chuckle that ran through Hoseok’s chest at your naivety remind him of the buzz of crickets in the meadows. Thank you for switching me out of that damned pot. One, it was making reincarnation painful, and two I just wanted to be grown enough to speak to you. He had never had to tell someone about himself like the way he did with you. Other fairies didn’t need to be told how their life works, but you, you wanted to know everything. So. Many. Questions. He didn’t mind, he almost wanted to beg you to ask more questions for the sake of hearing your voice. At first, he cringed, and then his heart soared when he thought of the first time you called him ‘Hobi.’ How beautifully dumb. He had heard all his life that he was the epitome of sunshine, and to an extent, he believed those people; trying his best to be as kind and understanding as possible. Do you know that you’re actually my sunshine? He thought about what you were doing while he was gone; if Namjoon and Jimin were treating you well, and if his parents were warming up to you. Then, he thought about how he wouldn’t be there for Christmas, nor New Year’s, nor Valentine’s. Is it bad that I almost hope you left, and never looked back? You deserve the normal life that I cannot give you. Hoseok knew what kind of lessons you’d be going through while he was gone. There was definitely going to be some school, sorry love, and he could almost hear your groans. He wasn’t completely certain, but he wouldn’t put it past his mother to turn you into her mini princess. Don’t change too much for my mother, Y/N, I fell in love with a human, not a fairy, remember that. The thought of you in your lavender celebration gown, however, made you look like you were a fairy. Minus the wings of course. You looked ethereal, so beautiful. I’m sorry that the other girls were shooting daggers at you all night, but they had cause to be jealous. At the thought of the purple dress, his thoughts wandered to the beautiful, but definitely not fairylike, memories. He thought of the way your fingers were shaking a tad bit, just like his; how he felt the fire of your feelings for him under your gaze; how a single touch of your lips, your fingertips, sent him into a fury of sensations. I was worried that it wouldn’t feel right, I had never done that before. But I think, you enjoyed yourself; you certainly sounded like you did. As humorous as we both found it that I accidentally stumbled across those videos on your laptop, I have no doubt that I’m ever living it down. Do you know how it felt to be so close to you? While it was the best physical pleasure I’ve felt in my life, I- Hoseok was getting a little emotional at the joyous thoughts he was relishing in over you. Crying tears of joy was definitely a mannerism of yours that he had picked up. I have never felt so connected to someone before, Y/N. I could feel it in my soul, my soul Y/N, that you’re it. I have no doubt in my mind that the Mother Tree will bond us now, because things that are not meant to be do not feel like that. Hosoek let his heart be filled to the brim with the feelings that you brought him; tears truly did fall from his eyes and he let out a deep laugh at how beautifully childish he felt right now. I’m going to come of age soon, and a few days after that I will take you to the Mother Tree, I will get down on one knee like humans normally do it, I will do whatever you want, as long as you’ll be mine. As he made his resolve he allowed the warmth of his reincarnation period lull him to sleep in anticipation of seeing your beautiful face again.

But the next time he opened his eyes, it wasn’t to your face. It wasn’t to anything. The once beautifully lit world around him looked as though it was colorful, rainbow glass that was shattering. The feeling didn’t resonate well with him, and he longed to feel your arms around him and use your sweet voice to calm him down. Wait, why can’t I remember what you sound like right now? The first color, green, shattered and floated into a forming black abyss. Think Hoseok, her voice. The way you would catch her dancing through the halls of her apartment singing. He started to draw a blank on his home as well, even losing your balcony garden. Why is blue disappearing too? Slowly, purple then started to break away, relieving Hoseok of the memories of your touch. What is going on? Why am I losing my memories, is something happening to my seed? Did it not get planted? Red, don’t. Don’t go. Hoseok made a feeble attempt to catch the red shards of light, but the attempt proved futile as it dissipated through his fingers. Why can’t I stop this, damn it! His words came out as nothing, forcing him to voice his sorrow in his mind. As the red ceased to exist, so did his memory of your face. Leaving him with your name, and all the love he felt for you. Remember that time we made wishes on the dandelions? He eyed the world around him carefully, looking at the two remaining colors, orange and yellow, with torment. Fuck, I don’t know what I’m going to lose next Y/N. I don’t know if I’ll lose everything about you. I don’t know why I can remember everything else, apart from my life with you, so perfectly. Y/N, please do not cry if I can’t remember you. I promise you, our souls are too entwined to be separated at this point. Orange was the slowest color to break away so far, taking its bittersweet time of relieving Hoseok of his final memories of you. What did you wish for on your dandelion, Y/N? He summoned all his energy and willpower into his arms that felt like lead; with painstakingly slow movements, and a watchful eye on the fading orange, he reached his hand to his neck, breaking the string of flowers from it. Y/N, I hope this will mean something when I can’t remember you. Your ring will not die, and I hope now, neither will mine. He took the string, wrapping it around his left ring finger, pouring his love for you into it as well. It solidified within seconds, giving Hoseok time to relax as best as he could as he waited for more darkness to take over him. I wished for a long life with you. I think that was the day I realized I was in love with you. I love you, Y/N. I wish I had given you a nickname, maybe I could remember you when I wake up if I had. I love you, Y/N. Hoseok repeated his feelings for you on a pitiful cycle. I love you, Y/N, as the final pieces of orange broke away, leaving the touch of yellow to illuminate his misery. I love you… What is your name? I love you, but I don’t know who it is that I’m loving? The question swam through his mind, feeling his love for you surging through him, yet not having anyone to connect the love to. His gaze fell upon the pieces of yellow that began to crumble around him. I don’t know what’s happening, or why but, it was getting harder for him to breath, both from the tears that were overcoming his body as well as the sensation of suffocating that had slowly been washing over him. I know I love you, whoever you are. My heart is beating so hard at the thought of whoever you are, whatever you look like. He closed his eyes, searching for the person he loved behind his eyelids. You never came to him. Instead, the world around him, a dark abyss with only the faintest piece of yellow remaining, flashed around him. Being consumed once more by light, he prepared himself to reincarnate in hopes of finding the mysterious person who had apparently stolen his heart. Whoever you are, I love you. I love you. I love you… my dandelion.

Your POV

“Who are you?” As the words full of confusion rolled out of his mouth, your heart clenched in agony as you realized the consequence of his cycle being prolonged. “Again, why are you crying?” Despite having no recollection of who you are, his true nature still shined brightly.

“Hobi I-” The thought of him not even remembering your nickname for him caused your sentence to come up short, sobs coursing through your chest again.

“And again, my name isn’t Hobi, human.” Had it been any other fairy calling you by the title of your species, you would’ve been angered. Since it was Hoseok, however, with your heart still in his hands and the lack of malice in his voice, you let it slide.

“Hoseok, can you do the fairy dust thing?” Your request came out as a hoarse whisper, and his eyes widened at the statement. “To calm me down, I mean.”

“How do you know I can do that?” The gaze he had on you was one of suspicion and interrogation, yet you couldn’t find it in yourself to search for negativity in his eyes.

“Just d-do it. So, I can exp-plain, p-please.” Still eyeing you carefully he nodded softly, flying above you in quick motions. Both the sight of the red dust, as well as their effects had stopped your tears within minutes.

“I have a lot of questions for you.” Still sat against the wall on the floor, you nodded your head to let him know that you had expected as much. “Who are you?”

“My name is Y/N.”

“Where are we?” Eyes drifting around your bedroom, they landed on the flower pot with his newly bloomed flower that had been set to the side of you.

“This is my home. Well, it was supposed to be temporary until we went back to our home in another city.”

“What do you mean we? Our home?” His eyebrows were raised in disbelief at the mention of the two of you being connected to each other in any way. You simply nodded. “Am I supposed to know who you are?”

“Yes.” His question wasn’t meant to be offensive, but you couldn’t help but let it cut through you anyways. “That’s why I’m crying, Hobi. You don’t remember who I am.”

“Why do you keep calling me Hobi?”

“It was a nickname I gave you last year, not long after we met.”

“Last year?” His eyes seemed to want to pop out of his skull at the mention of the time span. “I don’t know what’s going on, Y/N.” Just the sound of your name on his tongue was enough to send you into a fit of tears again because you knew it didn’t hold the same significance that it used to. “Wait, don’t cry. Please don’t cry. I’m sorry I’m just so confused.”

“I know, I am too. When you didn’t show up on the spring equinox after Jimin left, I’ve been trying to figure out where you were.”

“Jimin? How do you know Jimin?”

“He’s uh.” You weren’t exactly sure how to describe your relationship with the pink fairy to the one who doesn’t remember you. “He’s my best friend, I guess. When Namjoon left shortly after you did, Jimin was the only one there for me during the fairy classes and the royal lessons your mother gave me.”

“Wait, what?” A look of complete shock ran through him at the mention of Namjoon and the classes. “You’ve been to my village?”

“Hoseok, I pretty much live there.” Your voice was stern at this point, and you were trying your best to not let your anger boil up and explode.

“That’s not possible. How did you get in?” That was the question that elicited a bark of sarcastic laughter.

“You let me in.” The eyes that had been staring at the ground had now shot straight up to meet your own.

“I did what?” He shook his head, almost as if he couldn’t believe that he was talking to a human let alone invited one into his village. “Y/N. Who are you supposed to be to me?”

“Hobi,” this is what drew the line on the anger and sadness bubbling up at your bottom eyelashes. Tears fell again in hot streaks down your cheeks and you tried to give him your most genuine smile. Holding up your left hand, you showed him the ring on your finger, one he knew was the work of a fairy. “I was going to be your life mate.”

This confession had him absolutely floored as he gazed at the ring on your finger. As if in a panic, he began to fly aimlessly around the room like a human would pace. You watched with a broken heart as Hoseok muttered questions to himself, rubbing his temples all the while. After a few minutes of this, he flew back to you with more things rolling off his tongue.

“I’m sorry I don’t remember you.” He reached out his own left hand in an attempt to wipe the tears from your face, only gasping in shock when he noticed what was on his own finger. “What is this? Did you put this on me?” Glancing down to his left hand, you made out a ring of small flowers, ones you remembered perfectly.

“Hoseok! These are the flowers you were wearing around your neck when you disappeared into your seed in December!”

“Do you think I did this when I was waiting to reincarnate?”

“Do you think it’s something you would have? Do you remember anything from when you were in the seed?” Your questions were full of hope, but they were destroyed when he just shook his head.

“I don’t think so. Well, I just don’t know. I remember feeling a lot of things.” He looked at you and almost shrunk under your sorrowful gaze. “They were good things, I think they were about a person. A girl.” A small smile came to your face, but he only frowned. “But you’re a human. I’ve never met a human before. I just remember these warm feelings a love and-” he stopped himself, shaking his head.

“Hobi, what is it? What else do you remember?”

“Dandelions.” His face had gone blank of expression as he threw out what he thought was an irrelevant word.

“You mean our dandelions?” A breath of excitement caught in your throat and a little sliver of hope had been planted in you again.

“I don’t know. Do dandelions mean something to us?” His innocent question had you giggling at the memory.

“I had to explain to you what they were, and then we made wishes together on our wishing flowers!”

“I see,” he hummed in response, “what did we wish for?”

“We never told each other, we’re not supposed to.” A sigh was the only sound you had made after that, a tense silence coming between you too.

“Well, I’m dumb then.”

“Hobi, do you even believe me? Or do you think I’m just crazy?” You sniffled when you asked him the most important question of the evening. For once, the face that you had spent a total of hours observing, studying, and figuring out was unreadable. You couldn’t tell what emotions he was feeling if any at all. To your pleasant surprise, Hoseok reached up to scratch his nose; an idiom that you realized months ago he did whenever he was in deep thought about something. At least he’s thinking about it. You could’ve told yourself that the reason why you had crossed your fingers, and even your toes, was an attempt to pop the knuckles. That would be a lie, and you know it would be a lie to say that you were doing anything but praying to the Fates that he believed you. Even telling me that he’s willing to try to fall in love with me again would suffice.

“I do.” His words barely had the ability to pull you out of your thoughts, causing you to hear the complete opposite reply.

“Hobi I-” your face had fallen until you saw his face turn into that beautifully dumb grin, “wait, what? You believe me? Why?”

“I reincarnate, tell you I can’t remember you when you say that we’re gonna be life-mates, and then you question me when I say I believe you?” You hid your face in embarrassment because he was right. His tone, however, was the same one he used in that first conversation when he was baffled by you asking for his name. “You want to know why I believe you?”

“Yes.”

“One,” he held up a finger, “we have obviously met. You know that I have red fairy dust, and you’ve apparently met my village already.” You nodded your head in agreement. “Two. No matter how many times I told you my name was Hoseok, you still called me Hobi. There’s no explanation as to why that name would feel so natural to you if you’ve never used it before.” You laughed because it was natural to you. “Three. These rings. You claim that you saw me wearing these flowers around my neck. You don’t seem to be the kind of person who can make up stories on the spot like that,” this warranted a flick to his head, causing him to topple over. At first, you were worried you hurt him until he started squeaking with laughter. “Ow! Have you always done that?”

“Only when you’re deserving of it. Which is often.”

“Gah, you’re something else.” He smiled, shaking his head, and the playful banter itself had your heart soaring. “Your ring, however, I do not remember doing it, but I know I did.” You shot him a questioning eyebrow raise to which he continued explaining. “I can feel the power radiating from it, the life force, and I know it’s mine. Knowing that those things decay once they’re taken off, there’s no way you could have gotten that ring from anyone else and have it still been intact.”

“So, what now?” He looked at you in silence, pondering your question. Suddenly, he was grabbing your hand in an attempt to tug you to your feet. Standing at once, he found himself lazily lounging on the same shoulder again. This time, you did not stiffen or shrink in fear; you were in total acceptance of his touch, and how comfortable he already was to do this, again. “Dandelion, you are a mess. I’m a fairy but I know humans need to sleep too.” When you sat on your bed, he flew off your shoulder and left the room, allowing you to change out into night clothes.

“Hoseok, I left the window open for you. It took a long time before you stayed in the house with me, so I figured I’d do this for you again in case you didn’t want to.”

“Thank you, dandelion. Can I call you that? It feels more natural to me than your name for some reason.” You giggled for a moment before letting him know it was fine.

“Goodnight, Hobi. And uh,” you fumbled with the sheets of your bed for a moment as you thought about what to say next, “thank you for believing me. I know I must sound crazy.”

“Honestly? Even if I didn’t believe you, I’d pretend that I did anyway. Because you are the prettiest being I’ve ever seen and if I’ve made you fall in love with me once, I’m gonna do it even better this time.”

Without even waiting for a reply, he flew out the window to do who knows what, leaving you in a puddle of goo in your bed. After a few moments of giddy squealing and sore cheeks, you let your smile fall from your face to give yourself the chance to rest. Despite how horribly wrong life had turned for you; no matter how disappointed you were that you had to build the relationship from scratch; no matter what difficulty laid ahead, you knew that you could get through it, just like you got through these past few months. As you drifted off into sleep, you figured you would dream of the meadows again. Instead, you dreamt of your redheaded fairy and the seed of hope that had been planted inside you.

April 21st

When you woke up the next morning, it was to the sound of breaking glass and groans of frustration. During the brief moments that it took for you to recognize the noise, your sleep-filled eyes darted towards the empty windowsill. The windowsill is empty. Code red signals flashed through your mind as you were automatically thrown into overdrive when you made the connection between the noises down the hall and the missing flower pot. The thought to put on more appropriate clothing to confront the intruder in your home only passed through your mind as you flew out your bedroom door. With only your underwear and one of Hoseok’s shirts on, you met the enemy with a shout that would soon be followed by a howl of laughter.

“What the fuck are you doing in my-” but your threatening question was cut off midway as you soaked in the hilarity of the sight you stumbled upon.

You were quickly able to register the source of the broken glass; a couple of your drinking glasses had been shifted onto the floor from their usual place by the sink. Next was the missing flower pot that was currently sitting in the sink itself, with a stream of water flowing into it. The source of the miserable groans? A three-foot Hoseok standing on one of your dining table chairs. On one hand, the chaotic scene was adorable and humorous, on the other hand, however, you felt as though you were ready to have a heart attack at any given moment. Plus, you were now short two pieces of dishware, and you began to notice the drooping of Hoseok’s wings even before he did.

“Y/N” His face was full of fear at being caught in the midst of his shenanigans, but you couldn’t help but soften, slightly, at his deepening voice.

“Hoseok!” Carefully scrambling over the broken glass, you hurriedly shut off the tap. “You can’t water yourself that much or else you’ll drown!” With a grunt of frustration, you picked up the soaking flower and placed it on your porch to let the sun dry it. On the way back, you grabbed a broom and dustpan to clean up the mess. “Don’t touch it, Hobi.”

Hoseok had already gotten off the chair to clean up after himself when you returned to the kitchen, but you were afraid he’d cut himself on the glass. Watching his half-grown body shuffle the chair back to the table had you suppressing a chuckle. I’m still mad at you, damn it. After a few minutes, you could see his wings visibly brighten and perk back up from the overdose of water they had received. It looked as though Hoseok was walking on eggshells because he timidly shifted from foot to foot as he watched you clean up the remaining pieces of glass.

“I’m sorry about the glasses, Y/N.” Hoseok turned his head down in shame, but you couldn’t help but pull him into a hug.

“It’s okay, don’t feel bad,” when you pulled away you ran your head through his hair to which he grinned, “this isn’t the first time you’ve destroyed something of mine.”

“What do you mean?” With a blank expression, Hoseok visibly gulped as you recalled a story to him.

“For one, you destroyed dozens of shirts. You get way too excited about things and your wings just fly out of nowhere. You’ve also destroyed a couple of the vegetable pots that I bought for you.”

“Vegetable pots?”

“Goodness, you really don’t remember anything do you?” He simply shook his head when an idea came to your mind. “Holy shit, Hoseok! I don’t know why I didn’t think of this already!”

You were flying down the hallway to your bedroom again, this time in excitement instead of fear. I’m an idiot, I should have shown him this last night! Flinging your closet door open, you were immediately jumping for the small box that had been tucked away for safety during Hoseok’s reincarnation. You smiled to yourself as you hugged the box closely to your chest, and met him on your bed.

“I know you already said you believed me about our past, but I just remembered to show you these. Take a look.”

You pressed the box into his hands and lifted the lid, causing his eyes to go wide. He pulled out the few pictures of the two of you that you had bothered to get printed off. The first one that he pulled out was a photo of the night he met your parents. Your mother had snapped a picture while the two of you had remained at the dinner table to finish your conversation; you were in the middle of laughing and Hoseok’s face was resting in his palm as he looked at you with adoration. You had scolded your mother for the candid but then proceeded to beg her to send it to you. The next one he pulled out, and his face scrunched up in embarrassment. It was a picture of you two on the train to find his village; Hoseok was fast asleep, slumped over on your shoulder while you held the flower in your lap. He gave you one of those “are you serious,” looks, but grabbed the last photo without a word. You knew which photo this was going to be, so you readied yourself for his reaction. This was the picture you had taken that day in the park when he discovered the dandelions; Hoseok was laid out amongst the yellow weeds with his eyes closed and a wide grin on his face.

“These are,” he jutted his tongue out to wet his lips as he thought about his words. “These are the dandelions, aren’t they?”

“Yes, they are,” you couldn’t help the smile that rose to your eyes, “do you remember this day?”

“No,” but he just shook his head in response. “They seem really familiar, though. You made me really happy, didn’t you?”

“If I could make you half as happy as you made, make, me, then I think I’d have accomplished something.” He looked at you with a soft smile before speaking again.

“Y/N,” he started slowly, “when can we go back to my village?” The question shouldn’t have hurt you as much as it did, but you still understood.

“We can go back when you’re fully grown. Is that okay?” The nod was followed by a broad smile, and you still couldn’t fathom how he was the embodiment of the sun. “When do you think you’ll be full grown?”

“Honestly? I’ve never grown this fast before. Maybe by tonight or tomorrow?” He gave a shrug of his shoulders to show you that he was uncertain.

“That’s alright too. I have work in a little bit, but I’ll be back tonight. Can you please behave and not break anything else?” The sheepish grin he gave you made your heart thump and you wanted nothing more than to just kiss him.

“Of course. Also?” His question had stopped you as you walked into the bathroom to get ready for work. You hummed in acknowledgment of his question. “I’m glad you’re the person I woke up to.”

You could only give him a shy smile that was barely a small fraction of how wonderful you felt inside. Work passed in the blink of an eye that day. Tina had obviously questioned you about your sudden disappearance the night before; you gave a short summary of who the hot customer was to you, but the idea didn’t faze you as you thought about your fairy waiting for you at home. How amazing is that? You hummed along to the music playing overhead as you prepared a few cups of coffee for a table that just came in. Jackson comes in and makes me freak out, and I go home and wake up my sleeping beauty. It’s like all I had to do was cry on the soil. The moment that thought ran through your mind, you stopped dead in your tracks. A subtle connection between the book and the events last night squeezed their way into your mind. Then you remembered the night you cried over his flower pot the first time. Do I have to be that vulnerable? How dorky can this fairytale I’m living in get? Despite the oddity of the situation, you shook your head and put on your customer service smile that was finally completely genuine.

“Hobi!” You called as you stepped through the front door, only to find it alarmingly quiet.

The majority of the lights were still off in the house, and so you cautiously went through, turning them on one by one. As you reached your bedroom, the panic that had been biding its time inside you begun to slip away as you heard Hoseok’s soft, melodic voice from inside the bathroom. The minute you had changed out of your work clothes and into your sleepwear, you sat against the wall next to the bathroom door. I’m glad he remembered that he knows how to sing. A giggle left your lips as you mentally praised yourself for what you thought had been a good joke. After a few moments, you allowed yourself to be reminded of more loving memories that you held in your heart of Hoseok.

“Y/N,” Hoseok called out to you one morning as the sun began to fill your sleepy eyes. Turning over to your side, you peered up at the redheaded man next to you; he had propped himself up on one elbow and seemed to be observing you quite intently. A brief smile passed over your face before you promptly closed your eyes again. “Y/N!” Hoseok’s singsong voice was louder this time, a more dramatic note change added in as well.

“Hobi, let me sleep.”

He simply hummed in response, and for a moment you thought he was complying with your request. That was until the covers were thrown off you and you were forced to roll back to face him. Your eyes were wide open for only a few seconds before you were giving him the best glare you could give.

“Good morning, starshine. The earth says hello!”

“One, I can’t believe you just quoted Willy Wonka. And two, I can’t believe you did it so beautifully. Why did you never tell me that you can sing?” Hoseok shrugged his head and you had to beg him to sing more for you, and only with promises of plenty of back massages did he relent.

“Y/N!” What are you doing out here?“ You had been so caught up in the memories that you didn��t even hear Hoseok shut the water off, let alone walk out into your bedroom. For a moment you let your eyes linger on his mostly naked body, and you were almost disappointed he had found a towel to hold around his waist. He coughed awkwardly when you stared too long and you peered up at him.

“Sorry, Hobi,” You giggled with your apology, “I forgot that you can’t remember that we’ve already seen each other naked.”

“We have?” The shock in his voice was paired with a choked reply, and you had to use all of your willpower not to laugh at him.

“Yeah, we also, uh,” Instead, you just nodded your head and continued with the explanation. “We kinda became really intimate.” His eyes widened, and at first, you thought he was upset.

“Are you serious? That’s the best thing I’ve ever heard.”

“What?”

“You must be a goddess sent to love me if we did that. Holy hell, I can’t wait to fall in love with you again.” He reached out a hand down to you, and you grabbed it so he could help you up. The force of his strength caused you to tumble into him and it was only for a second that you let yourself keep your head against his chest. My head is on his chest right now.

“Hoseok! You’re full grown!”

“Oh?” He took a step back from you to look at himself, “Yeah, I am. Those things in your bathroom are mirrors, right? We need those in my village. Also, I much prefer bathing in there than in a stream”

April 22nd

The trek up the hill to Hoseok’s village was a bittersweet one today. As much as you would have loved to continue spending time with him in the isolation of your home, you had agreed to take him home once he was full grown. I didn’t think he’d be done growing in just one day though, was all you could grumble to yourself while the bubbly fairy to the right of you chatted away about fairy things, many of which you already knew. You did not tell him this, however, letting yourself become content with just listening to his voice.

In place of coherent responses, you simply nodded and hummed along to show that you were listening to an extent. For the first time in a long time, you let yourself observe the human world that was quickly dissipating around you the closer that you got to the fairy door. Due to the fact that May was just around the corner, the sun was shining so warmly on your skin only aiding to enhance the sun-kissed tan you had gained throughout winter and spring. The trees were green, so green and you almost thought that they were radiating life to you as well. Running your hands along the heated bark, you closed your eyes and imagined how so many months ago, you and Hoseok had walked this same path for the first time; so naïve, so optimistic, so in love. You brushed the bitter thought away from your mind, as you made the last few steps past the rock that marked the point where you could enter. Hoseok had stepped in front of you, ready to open the door, but you placed a hand on his shoulder to halt him.

“Hoseok, let me.” You took a deep breath and let the warm air flow from your lips to awaken the door. Hoseok was eyeing you carefully, looking slightly impressed that you had made the door appear but remaining fairly neutral in expression. “Aperta sunt mihi.”

The words came out just louder than a nervous whisper, but it was enough to allow you permission to enter. You turned to Hoseok whose features had grown both pleased and shocked, and you held your hand out to him to walk inside. He grabbed it with no hesitation, earning himself a smile that encompassed the entirety of your face. For the first time in who knows how long, the mythical story that you had found yourself living in regained its ethereal beauty; the flowers never died, the sun never froze, and the beauty of this world never faded, yet reentering with the man who brought so much love to your life only helped to magnify the magic that you first felt. The two of you walked in silence for a time, the sound of the still trickling stream adding a tone of ambiance to the path. The moment the two of you reached your treehouse, a friendly voice called out to the two of you.

“I can’t believe you, Y/N!” There was no malice in the yellow fairy’s words, only relief. His hands were steady as he held you in your place, “you never came back home, where have you- holy shit Prince Hoseok!” His grip on you was released as he finally took notice of his friend and prince, arms entrapping him in an embrace.

“Namjoon, how good is it to see you!” The two laughed as they hugged it out, the excitement soon becoming too much for Hoseok as his wings sprung forth tearing yet another shirt of his.

“You weren’t kidding,” Namjoon turned to you at the sight of the shreds of fabric settling to the ground. “How many shirts has he gone through at this point?” You simply shrugged and told him you lost count. “Hoseok, you have no idea how worried you made Y/N. I swear she’s cried enough times to water the both of us for a month!”

Hoseok watched the interaction between you and Namjoon for a few moments; how you playfully smacked his chest and then how you covered his mouth with your hands as he tried to speak again. The way Namjoon wrapped his arm around your neck, and the way he ran his hand over your head to disrupt your hair. He listened to the way your voice cried out in protest and the sound was suddenly like music to his ears. Hoseok felt something poke at him at the bottom of his heart and he wasn’t sure what the feeling was, but he knew it was only growing more unpleasant as the interactions before him dragged on.

“Y/N,” the sound of Hoseok’s cough and his stern voice pulled you back from your shenanigans, to which you gave him a meek smile. “Think you should explain to Namjoon what’s going on?”

“Exactly, how the hell did you manage to skip out on a second reincarnation, and why is he not all over you right now?” Namjoon furrowed his brows at the realization of the distance that had now separated you and Hoseok.

“Joonie, you’re gonna want to prepare yourself for this.” Hoseok mouthed the word ‘Joonie’ behind your back, to which Namjoon gave a wave of his hand.

“Fine. Explain.”

“Okay so remember that book I had you and Taehyung pull from the red section?” Hoseok looked completely lost already, while Namjoon just nodded his head in remembrance. “It pretty much was a children’s story. Except the plot was similar to mine and Hoseok’s. In the end, the fairy was reincarnated as the lover cried into the soil. Don’t look at me like that, yes its lame but it was a good book!”

“I’m sure it was, go on Y/N.”

“When I went to work the other night, Jackson showed up, and-”

“Wait, Jackson showed up? I swear I’d kill him if I was human.” Namjoon’s wings started to flap in fury as he recalled the horrible man you’d previously described to him in passing.

“Anyway! I freaked out, ran home and lost it. I was talking to the flower pot- don’t give me that look, I know I’m crazy- and I was crying and Hoseok appeared out of nowhere.”

“Well, that’s terribly tame. Nothing more exciting happened?” At Namjoon’s words of disappointment, you and Hoseok only shared a look. “What?”

“Hoseok kind of doesn’t remember me?”

“Namjoon, put me down right now!” Your shout was lost in the wind or was purposefully ignored. Either way, he did no such thing.

The moment you told him of Hoseok’s lost memories, followed by his confirmation, he was adamant about taking the matter to the queen. Despite your protests, Namjoon reasoned with you because you couldn’t hide the fact forever, as well as Hoseok needing to see her anyways. You had begrudgingly agreed, but to your dismay, Namjoon thought you were walking too slow, so he opted to carry you instead. As you entered the throne room once more, a hoard of people ran to you once you caught their eye. First, the servants ran and bowed to Hoseok, offering their aide and services. The moment he refused and thanked them, they turned to you.

“Princess, Y/N! We’re happy to see that you’re well. Namjoon was starting to worry us for you.”

“Oh please,” you curtsied to them in response, “you know that I’m not a princess.” The warm smile you gave them was enough to have them rising to their feet as well.

“Perhaps not, but we know how much Prince Hoseok loves you! He’s made his wish to soul-bond with you quite obvious before his departure!”

One of the servants gushed and swooned at the thought of your love story, and heat began to rise to your face. You looked over to Hoseok who had averted his eyes and seemed to decisively be avoiding eye contact. A tap came to your right shoulder, tearing your eyes from Hoseok to come face to face with your personal servant.

“Yoonji,” you could not contain the overflowing happiness you felt as you gazed at your fairy servant that you hadn’t seen in so long, “I missed you!”

“And I you, Princess Y/N.” She hugged you tightly and pressed her mouth to your ear. “The queen looks livid, you and Hoseok better head towards the thrones.”

She pulled away with what you now knew was a fake appearance for the sake of the queen. You risked a glance to the front, and thankfully the queen was talking to someone else, but her annoyance was evident anyway. You grabbed Hoseok’s hand out of the habit of calming your nerves, and he happily let you do it.

“I must be totally in love with you if all of my servants are calling you princess, huh?” He gave you a cheeky wink and you would have giggled had it not been for the fact that you had just reached the queen’s place.

Hosoek bowed, and you curtsied, but he left his place quickly to greet his mother. So, you stood there, craning to hear the conversation they were having. The queen looked so motherly, yet you couldn’t shake the itch in your gut that told you that she was responsible for this. The occasional glance was thrown your way and you assumed that Hoseok was explaining what was going on. Damn it, Hoseok, stop talking. But he didn’t, he went on and on, and a large grin broke over his face as he stared over to you; the queen was quick to perhaps say something harsh to him, pulling the happiness from his lip. Her eyes were suddenly filled with fire as she turned sharply on her heel to stand before you.

“Y/N, I think it’s best if you leave, don’t you?” The words were spoken through gritted teeth, and the malice seething from her confirmed your suspicions of her evil side.

“I don’t have work today, so I don’t have to leave for a while, your majesty.” You tried to remain calm and composed, but the flicker of offense that flashed over her face told you that you had failed.

“I meant forever, Y/N. You do not belong here.” You recoiled from the venom in her words and you had taken a step back only to bump into a warm chest you didn’t even know had moved.

“Mother, what has gotten into you?” Hoseok placed his hands protectively on your sides, and you felt yourself calming just the slightest. “How can you treat Y/N like this, she is our guest!”

“She is a human,” if this were a cartoon there would be smoke rising from her head. “You have no memories of her, she is not worth keeping around!” Her tongue snapped with the anger she was dripping with, and her eyes squinted as Hoseok turned you to face him.

“I don’t care, mother.” He placed his hands on your cheeks and kissed you with the tender love that you had been yearning so many months for. “It matters not that I have no recollection of our time together, that only opens the way for us to make better memories. If you’ll let me, that is?” You knew his question was meant solely for you.

A wave of déjà vu rushed through you at his inquiry about your consent, and your giggle was swallowed by another kiss from Hoseok’s waiting lips. You hardly noticed the shriek that the queen gave off as she flew from the throne room, chaos being left in her wake. The only thing you allowed yourself to focus on was the softness of Hoseok’s left thumb still caressing your cheek; the warmth of his breath mixing with yours, and the vibrations humming through his chest and yours as your souls inched closer to each other, beat by beat to meet again.

“That insolent human, how dare she question me!”

The queen was furious, curses and sounds of disgust never leaving her mouth as she flew to her secret keep. As she glided towards the black door, two guards bowed in reverence to their queen. She flicked a pointed finger towards the door, silently demanding it to be opened. She crossed the threshold with a grunt and slammed the door behind her. Sitting in the middle of the barren cell was a pot; it’s pink color looked dull and bleak, a representation of its conditions. The queen allowed her wings to spread out in full, the orange, lacelike shapes spreading out to span almost the entirety of the cell. With closed eyes, she drew her focus to the pot sitting so vulnerably before her. The thought to break it, to crush its inhabitant crossed her mind, but only for a brief moment. Instead, she allowed a wicked smile to grow on her face. The aura in the room grew sinister, any sense of joy diminishing with the blink of the queen’s eyes. Her wings flapped. Once, then twice. As she did so, the warm orange color practically melted from her body, only to be replaced with wings as black as night. It’s nice to rid myself of that disgusting color, if even once a year. What should have been orange fairy dust floating down to the flower pot was instead black; dust so black it was like shards of pure obsidian glass raining down like acid rain onto the soil. And what should have been a bright pink light omitted from the soil was a light that was, for a second, pink but slowly greyed and greyed into a depressing hue of pink.

Jimin’s POV

Why was I born a fairy? The pink fairy groaned as he tossed and turned, floating through what felt like an abyss. Waiting to be reincarnated is such a waste of time. The world around him was dark and empty, scary even. It wasn’t, however, or it wasn’t supposed to be, rather. To Jimin, it felt as though he was attached to the heaviest, yet softest, threads of silk; he felt as though someone could come by and give them a swift tug and he’d be carried away. What a stupid thought, you’re in a fucking seed for crying out loud. Reincarnation periods are different for everyone. Some have bright open spaces filled with sunlight and warmth. Others, like Jimin, embrace a cool darkness that once brought him peace. I suppose this is now fitting for me, the sleepy fairy thought as his body swayed under the lack of gravity. Time moves differently in the seed; what is three months outside can seem like a few hours to the fairy inside. If they choose to sleep, that is. Jimin doesn’t. I can’t believe I did that to her, then had to disappear the moment I knew she would need answers. Jimin tried to smack himself in the forehead at his own ignorance and sins, but his limb couldn’t move fast enough to have power behind the smack. I’ve never once questioned why fairy things are the way they are, but when Y/N came and I met a human for the first time- his thoughts trailed off to the thought of you and his throat tightened so painfully that it felt like he was drowning, not floating through nothingness- Unlike the elves, we do not hold unprecedented hatred towards humans, but were instead told to always be kind yet cautious. He remembered the day he first saw you, that warm December morning as everyone rushed to the prince’s side; the way you hid behind Hoseok with a look of concern and worry consuming your features. What wonderful features they were, they are. His thoughts were carried to his silent observations he had witnessed of you that first week, apprehensive yet interested. Then he thought of that morning in the throne room and how your lips beautifully formed the word ‘Hobi.’ Why do you create such dumb nicknames? That’s almost as bad as Jiminie! He let out a frustrated laugh as he longed to hear you call his name. Once Hoseok left, and he witnessed your breathtaking personality unfold, he was doomed. Waking me up so late at night to celebrate a human holiday? I must’ve been whipped from the start. He thought about the way you feigned happiness on New Year’s Eve, yet his heart ached because he knew better. The way your eyes shined so brightly when you walked into your treehouse on Valentine’s day allowed a small smile to play on his lips. Y/N, do you know how much of a scolding I got from the king for picking that many flowers for you? Jimin could almost see the horror on your face if you were to be told of that fact. When thinking of you on the day he was destined to leave, he couldn’t help but replay your image in his head for the umpteenth time. How can she walk with such unknown grace that didn’t need to be taught in lessons? Why does the sound of her laugh make my heart stop, yet beat ridiculously fast at the same time? How, Jimin’s breath got a little shaky as his thoughts of you took a more physical turn, is it possible to have hair that’s softer, more full of life than a fairy’s? Why does her imperfect skin, with its scars, blemishes, and flaws, bring me more warmth and tenderness than a fairy’s skin that is without flaw? How do the clothes made for fairies fit her, a human, much better than the beings they were created for? Jimin’s eyes scrunched in shame as the next images poured into his brain with no warning. Do you know, Y/N, the way your hips sway as you walk with joy? Can you feel how enticing your neck is when you look over your shoulder to smile at me? Surely you know how the slightest touch of your fingertips riles me up. Jimin could feel a small wave of impure emotion wash through his body as his thoughts led back to the last night of Hoseok’s celebration. I know, I shouldn’t have followed, but I didn’t expect to stumble on that! He recalled the looks of love and bliss on you and Hoseok’s faces, the way that your smile reached your ears as he whispered sweet nothings to you. It’s nearly unheard of, Y/N, for fairies to be intimate like that with people other than your life-mate, did you know that? Once I realized what I had stumbled upon, I knew how true Hoseok’s feelings were for you. When I flew away and caught the tail end of your sighs of pleasure, I knew right then that you never would be mine. Any arousal that Jimin had gained from his recollection of his moments of spying was quickly diminished by the guilty pain he felt in his heart. Fairy’s aren’t even supposed to get aroused during the reincarnation period, I’m supposed to be sleeping right now!

But he couldn’t; he couldn’t bring himself to feel any sense of pleasure or happiness while he knew that you were on the surface, losing your mind. The tree, Y/N. God damn it I hope you, for some reason, thought to look in my treehouse for something. It’s there, he’s there. Wetness threatened to fall from his eyes, and for a moment Jimin tried to stop it, to no avail. “Jimin! You’re a fairy. I thought you were supposed to be filled with warmth, butterflies, and all things good?” Your words hit him like a bolt of lightning, and soon the tears that were building behind closed eyelids fell, or rose, rather. I’ve always wondered if anything else would float in here, Jimin watched through blurry eyes as his teardrops collected in the air to form a ball of gravity-defying liquid. I’m a disgrace, Y/N. There is no warmth, no butterflies, nor goodness in me. I broke your trust, the girl I love because I was scared. I hope you have found Hoseok’s seed, and I hope you can nurture him back to the world before I can return. Knowing that you have his soul to keep yours intact will let me have more peace of mind when I must look you in the eyes and tell you what I did. Jimin could only hope that his excuse for his cowardice could be understood to any degree upon his arrival. I swear to you, Y/N, I will make this right. There in the darkness of his seed, he vowed over and over again to atone for his sins and wrongdoings. He deprived himself the sanity of sleeping through his reincarnation period and instead allowed himself to be tortured by the thought of Hoseok, by the thought of you. Never once, in the dimension of time that he was coasting through, did he let his resolve waver from you. He had never been awake for so long in a reincarnation period, he didn’t know how long he had been here. It felt as though he truly was living through every second of the three months that he was gone. As time ticked on, he wondered to himself once more on your condition. He wondered if everything had been solved and if you and Hoseok had soul-bonded yet. The pain in his heart called out to him like the sound of your voice, gradually getting louder and louder. It wasn’t until the darkness around him began to unfold and let in the sunlight that he knew his solitary confinement was drawing to a close. As warmth forced him to materialize into the living world, he squeezed his eyes so tightly, as if to shield him from the events to come. All he heard was the sound a woman’s stern voice that confronted him for his deeds, or the lack thereof, and the sight of black. The epitome of evil in a pair of wings.

“Park Jimin, you are a traitor to the crown, and you will be punished for your disobedience.”

Taglist: @zerotexas1975 @sockie-the-fuckingcat @thelastpinkpenguin @rainbow-pandacorn @angel-ofcolor (just to let you know that I haven’t given up on this fic yet lol) @chamgyeopsall @jmnyvs

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shemakesmusic-uk · 4 years ago

Photo

This segment features artists who have submitted their tracks/videos to She Makes Music. If you would like to be featured here then please send an e-mail to [email protected]. We look forward to hearing from you!

Zoë Zohar

Raised in Israel by a South African mother and Israeli father, Zoë Zohar shares her story and take on life through upbeat melancholic ambience. By incorporating live with electronic instruments, Zohar constantly shifts between raw nostalgic tones and futuristic elements, searching for a new authentic sound. After moving to London at the age of 19, Zohar and her team began working together on her much-anticipated EP of four songs, one of which features her recent release ‘Paper Airplanes’. Through her EP, Zohar tells a story of feeling overwhelmed in a trapped environment. In this song, she portrays a sense of loneliness and feeling on the edge of defeat, only to realise that one may find comfort in this state of mind. Zohar aims to take the viewer on a journey that reveals the conflict of befriending our inner voices and running away from them. Listen below.

Zoë Zohar · Paper Airplanes

RIVITA

Hailing from the colorful escapades of India, Rivita creates electro-acoustic landscapes with her music. After completing an extensive education in music, she is currently based in LA and is focused on writing new music and playing virtual shows. Her latest single ‘Lonely With Someone’ is a story of the consequence of addiction and the unsaid hidden scars that it leaves. The song is a segway from her previous release ‘Someone Else’s Arms’, Rivita states “With this piece of work, I wanted to express the strength an individual really holds. There have been many moments in my life, I have surprised myself with my own strength and while facing some of my biggest fears in tough situations. While growing up I watched someone get lost in the sea of addiction. As I got older, I realized just how common addiction is across the globe and how well it is masked sometimes. It has caused me pain and it felt like I had no right to feel this way because I was not the one with the disease. I wanted to find a way to release my feelings without the consequence of being told to get over it or to stop thinking about it. This is the only way I thought I’d ever be able to fully express myself, through this song”. Listen below.

Rivita · Lonely With Someone

Alicia Lov

Spanish-Canadian artist Alicia Lov took to music at an early age. Music and dance lessons pushed her passion further and led to where she is now. Alicia has a love for lots of different genres including rap/hiphop, alternative, dancehall, latin pop and so much more. Dance is a big part of her inspiration and will continue to be a prime part of her career. Her latest single 'Magnetic' delivers a smooth romantic R&B feeling that makes you want to get cuddled up with that special someone. She explains further, "'Magnetic,' has romantic R&B vibes that were inspired by love between the sheets. Smiling and tracing each other with your fingertips. Love can sometimes just be free and chaotic. Head in the clouds, floating in another dimension." Listen below.

ALICIA LOV · Magnetic

Lyla DiPaul

Lyla DiPaul is an American recording artist based out of New Orleans. DiPaul grew up in Takoma Park, MD where she fell in love with playing guitar and writing songs at the age of 10. She draws musical inspiration from a variety of songwriters including Taylor Swift, Joni Mitchell, and Phoebe Bridgers. DiPaul eloquently relays the feeling of love and heartbreak through her music, and hopes to connect to people through her work. Her latest single is ‘Still Unwell’ and here is what Lyla had to say about the release: ”I wrote ‘Still Unwell’ with my friend MC in the fall of 2019. Simply put, it is a breakup song. We always describe it as being about nostalgia for a relationship. When you miss all the good things and bad things about a person, and just cannot move on. We recorded the bulk of the song in the studio at Loyola University, New Orleans and then ended up finishing up the guitar work and the vocals in my bedroom after things became unsafe due to the pandemic.” Listen below.

Lyla DiPaul · Still Unwell

Mango In Euphoria

Starting her project in London after being employed in Florida and travelling through the United States, French-born alternative artist and songwriter Mango In Euphoria quickly found her audience when she dropped her first experimental work at the end of 2020. The singer is an emerging talent noticeable by her quirky style and her mysterious signature voice, matching her very own unique musical tracks mixing Electronic Rock, Dream Pop and Dark-wave genres. Creating melodies coming from her mind with virtual instruments and recording with a very basic microphone during the global Coronavirus pandemic, Mango In Euphoria also began to work remotely with Belgian producer Philippe Francq who helped her in developing a lot of demos with physical instruments inspired from vintage influences such as the Twin Peaks series soundtracks, The Cure, and Garbage. As Mango was mainly musically influenced by Grimes and Lana Del Rey, there's no doubt that the result would be quiet outstanding. Her new song ‘Golden Shrine’ is about celebrating who you are as a unique person, embracing this uniqueness “and also about someone who started to copy everything I was doing when everything was coming from my creativity so instead of getting more pissed off I created a song about it!” she laughs. Listen below.

MangoInEuphoria · Mango In Euphoria - Golden Shrine

Shannon

East London singer-songwriter, Shannon is an indie-pop artist that brings soulful tones through her vocals. Her music shares stories and experiences through heartfelt lyrics and production driven by acoustic guitar. Her latest single ‘But He's There’ is an upbeat track about the complications of falling for a close friend. The lyrics reveal inner thoughts of uncertainty about stepping out of one's comfort zone to fulfil an exciting idea of love. As the song builds, the story unfolds and reflects the fantasy for a closer relationship. Shannon's high notes introduce an unexpected direction to the vocal line that mirrors the feeling of being caught unaware by your thoughts and feelings. Whilst picturing the production for this song, some influential tracks from the 90's came to mind from artists such as Corinne Bailey Rae, Lauryn Hill and Natasha Bedingfield. The laid-back drums and organ keys give off a chilled vibe, almost as if the song acts as a passing thought during a relaxed Sunday morning. Listen below.

officialshannonuk · But He's There

Heff VanSaint

East London-based alternative pop artist, Heff VanSaint has released her debut track ‘Nothing Lasts Forever’. The former one half of synth-pop duo Miracles has gone back to her roots with a song that fuses old-school storytelling, with a contemporary lo-fi indie sound. ‘Nothing Lasts Forever’ is a tale of lost friendship, at a time of carefree hedonism. It’s a bruised, melancholic song tinged with sadness. Lyrically sublime, its evocative lines hit deep and leave the listener experiencing a sentimental yearning long after its over. Listen below.

Nille Nyc

Following up on the release of her debut EP PowerPainPillsPercussion, Danish electro pop artist Nille Nyc has just released new single ‘Someone Else’, her first of 2021, as a per cursor to her upcoming full-length album. Let’s face it, we’ve all been there: a relationship that seems to constantly be teetering on the edge of the abyss, until one day when it finally implodes. Afterwards, all that we can do is pick up the pieces and move on. ‘Someone Else’ is a story about looking back at the aftermath of a bad relationship from the safety of a better place. With a playful guitar, heavy R&B beat and edgy vocals, ‘Someone Else’ opens a new chapter in Nille Nyc’s musical journey. “Throughout our lifetime we experience relationships which challenge our core values as human beings, both professionally and personally. Every relationship needs to grow and mature; to look to the future while keeping the lessons of the past in mind. The same holds true for music. Every musician needs to keep innovating and experimenting. They need to take risks and challenge themselves by exploring new ideas and new ways of expressing themselves. If they don’t, then they run the risk of becoming static and their music will suffer for it”, Nille Nyc says. Listen below.

Nille Nyc · Someone Else

Natasha Ghosh

Natasha Ghosh originated as a professional Dutch-Indian fingerstyle ukulele player, but nowadays she also focuses on singing and releases her own music. Natasha's main styles are R&B, indie electronic, lo-fi, and hip-hop. Her new single ‘Paradise’ is a deep and emotional vocal-led lo-fi track with a relaxed sense of beauty. It's a personal song about romantic escapism between lovers. Lush synthesizer melodies, emotional vocals, and dynamic, but the chill drums make this track a perfect fit for study, Lo-fi, chill, and dreamy playlists. This is a song that Natasha wrote with her girlfriend in mind. "I believe that it's important to show the people you love what they're worth to you. In an ever-changing society where all kinds of stuff are happening around the globe, it's good to focus on the good things.” The track was a COVID-19 project, made in collaboration with the famous lo-fi artist Kid Kio from home studios. Listen below.

Natasha Ghosh Music · Natasha Ghosh (feat. Kid Kio)- Paradise

Olivia Void

Berlin based experimental artist Olivia Void uses her highly recognizable voice and songwriting style to introduce us to her unusual sonic cosmos. Her debut ‘Made for You’ was published in October 2020. After collaborating with members of the local and international electro and folk scenes in the meantime, she now prepares for the release of her debut EP PHYSICAL later this year. Unpredictable and captivating, Olivia Void’s new single ‘Glory to Glory’ is a hommage to our physical selves. Led by the Berlin singer‘s characteristic voice and electric guitar play, we get carried away high and low until we want to join in the glory. Talking about the powers of the self-reigned body, the song‘s unique structure creates a whirl that drags you in. As more and more layers are added or taken away we find ourselves in a state of vibrant emotion. Listen below.

Olivia Void · Olivia Void - Glory to Glory

#submission saturday #zoe zohar #rivita #alicia lov #lyla dipaul #mango in euphoria #heff vansaint #nille nyc #natasha ghosh #olivia void #shannon

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warriorwolves4 · 7 years ago

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This Little Light of Mine chapter 17

Sleep Dart

(Song link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izsjRpcgfmk )

-Loading Docks-

(Play Song)

As the cold dawn wind blew through the hanger, one of the carrier ships were being loaded up with supplies for the upcoming mission. On the sidelines was Caption Amarie, or Ana for short. She was sitting on top of one of the creates, with her sniper rifle strap wrapped around her shoulder. She was sipping a cup of her favorite Hibiscus tea while reading over the mission documents. They were going to help a village that has been attacked by rival terrorist groups. They have destroyed homes and have threatened to kill anyone they see out on the streets. Their name remains a secret, but some are saying the group is called "Dying Sun". No one knew what the group wanted, but they had to be stopped. There were going to be two teams, Alpha, and Bravo, they teams consisted of Overwatch's best social agents.

She was originally not supposed to be on this mission, but one of the alpha's team agents had been..........murdered. The cause of death is from a headshot from some type sidearm. He was a good friend of hers, but now he resides in a cold casket in the group. His wife is was assumed kidnapped or killed. She has been having nightmares about his death, almost like an out of body experience. She can remember seeing his body lying on the group with a slim figure standing over him with tears in their eyes. She hasn't told anyone about his death, she was ordered to keep his death a secret by Jack and Gabe. She knew if people found out it could cause panic in the base, but still, it hurt to not even tell Rein and Fareeha. She needed to put that behind her no matter how much it hurts.

-Ana POV-

As the sun slowly glowed over the horizon, I sipped my tea, the teams should be here soon. Especially new flanker, Tracer, was that her battle name. She will be running with Bravo team to help the people of Itsa. I have been there a couple of missions, I know the people around there. They were very nice people they helped outsiders the best they could, but sadly that's what brought to their downfall. Those poor people and omics, they didn't deserve the pain they are dealing with.

As I was thinking about the people, I didn't notice that some of the agents had arrived and need to be informed of what is going on, since I'm now the leader of this mission. I stopped thinking about the mission to face some of the agents, one, in particular, caught my eye, which was Lena Oxton, codename Tracer, she looked as if she didn't get any sleep she also had a worried expression. Poor girl, looks like I need to help her out when taking off, luckily I will be going in Carrier ship 2-89. I looked away from her to give Alpha team the plans and positions we will be using on the mission.

_-Tracer POV-_

All I could think about at this moment was Genji. He acted a bit worried when he left my room, and he didn't come back to tell me if everything is alright. I wasn't able to get sleep last night, I was too worried about Genji to even to get my shut-eye. I feel so lightheaded right now, my legs feel like jello, but today's the mission. I was trying my best to stay awake. I was able to find out that Ana was going to lead this mission, instead of Gãrard Lacroix.

I was tying my best to not fall to the pavement, then I felt a hand on my left shoulder. I turn to see a metal green helmet staring back at me. " Genji?!, Where have you been Lov' you had me worried sick." He looked away from me while taping his metal fingers together. "Sorry, Lena for leaving you last night." "Its ok lov' what did Zenny need?" " Well about that Lena I-." Before he could finish the rest he was cut off by Ana, who was in instructing us to head to the carrier ship we were assigned to.

As we were heading to our ship I asked him again "what is it", but he said it was nothing, that he will tell me later. The carrier ship was like your modern day home. There was a table for eating, a radio, and a couple of pink and green beanbags with Hana's and Lucio's mascot printed on the front. There was also a ladder that leads up to the main office, where we call into Overwatch's headquarters to give them the rundown on what's going on. As everyone boarded the aircraft, they were instructed by Ana to head to the office part of the ship.

I was about to head to the stairs, but Ana stopped me. "Dear you should get some rest, you look as if you will collapse at any moment. Go sit in the bean bags, Hana and Lucio brought those on yesterday." She then turned and walked away. Genji joined her upstairs leaving me alone on the main deck of the ship. A bit of me felt alone, but I just pushed it aside and blinked over to the bean bags. I sat down in the pink one and tried to get some rest, but I couldn't. How can I be so tired and still can't get any sleep? It felt like ages when they all went up top. I stared at the ladder they all went up on, for about a good 5 minutes. I then slowly started to push myself deeper into the beanbag. Even now that I'm in the deepest part of the bag, still can't sleep. So, I let my thoughts drift around in my mind. As my mind drifted deeper into the abyss. Then my mind went to Him the shadow, the thought of it made me shake. I remember how much he looked like Genij, how he had everyone I knew, died on the ground next to him. This image I tried my best to forget it.

"Lena, are you alright?" I snap out of my trance and turn to the person talking to me. I see Genji leaning over me, I could tell he was worried, I never liked to see him like this. " Yes I'm fine, I just can't get any sleep, without thinking of-." "It's ok, Lena, he is gone and I won't let him hurt you anymore." Genji then sat down in the green frog bean bag next to me. He did move it so it was right next to mine. He then put his hand out so I could hold it. I liked to hold his hand, it wasn't cold or drought. His hands were warm and smooth. I felt calmer, but not my heart I could feel it beating out of my chest. I tried to keep my calm until I felt a pain in my left shoulder. My vision started to get blurry, I turned to Genji to see there was a small needle in the crack of his neck where his armor wasn't covering. Then I see a color of blue. " I swear you kids need to sleep, get some rest. We will try to keep it quiet for you two. Now get some sleep, you two look so c...u...-" The last part I could tell what they said before my eyes shut for good.

-_Ana POV_-

I swear these kids need to get their rest. Lena was resting on Genji's shoulder as he was resting on her head. I toke out my camera and take a pic of the two. They reminded me of Rien and me. I then send the photo to my daughter. They looked so cute. I toke out the sleep darts from sleeping bodies and headed back up the ladder to the main room. I needed to make sure no one disturber these two.

_________________________________________________

Sorry, guys that you had to wait to get this chapter. I have been deciding how everything is going to go down. I also found a site to check my writing, and the best part the app was mostly free. The site is called Grammarly, this site helped me check over everything. If you want to get in contact with me you can use my tumbler, xbox, or wattpad account.

Also check out lenaspotato - they also have a great Genji x tracer story!

I would like to thank all of you guys/ girls that kept your faith with me. So this is a big thanks to all of you. Also tell me how I did on this.

#genji x tracer #tracer x genji #deja ryu #overwatch ships #overwatch #chapter 17 #tracer #genji

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alwaysforyouscully · 8 years ago

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Plausible Theory

Summary: Season 6ish. Diana! Mulder and Scully are at odds because of Diana. They haven’t discussed their feelings for each other and both are on edge.

Rating: Mature - language and stuff

Warning: Angry Mulder

“Damn it Scully, I know you saw it. You can’t just sit there and say for the hundredth time that you’re not sure what you saw or it was swamp gas or some other bullshit! I’m sick of this Scully. You say you trust me but you won’t trust me with what you really see. Your report will say, as always, Mulder is crazy, no scientific basis or plausible theory. I’m tired of looking like an idiot, I’m through. We’re through.”

Mulder throws the car in park in front of the motel and jumps out slamming the car door behind him.

Scully sits in the passenger seat staring out the window at Mulder as he storms down the sidewalk to his room. The slamming of his motel door makes her jump. He is usually more open to her scepticism but today is obviously not that day. She sits in the car and runs through the case, as it were.

The usual too big footprints, too fake trace hair and a Mulder that believes anything a backwoods, I had 17 beers before I saw it, Texan has to say.

Scully gets out if the car and locks the doors. She makes her way to her room but still feels unnerved by Mulder’s reaction. He can’t really think that hairy Halloween costume was actually a Bigfoot, so what gives.

She sits on the edge of her bed before she decides that not talking is not working and she heads for his room.

She knocks on his door but no answer. “Mulder, I know you are in there! Open the door!”

Just as she is about to knock again, Mulder pulls the door open. He is bare chested and his jeans are hanging on his hips, unbuttoned.

Scully is suddenly speechless. She has seen Mulder with less clothes before but this Mulder is dark and dangerous. His eyes are almost black and his jaw set.

“What do you want Scully, come to gloat, rub my nose in your ‘fake…’

“What… I just didn’t see what you did. It was a hoax,” …

He reaches towards her and she flinches. Mulder continues and moves his arm around her to close the door. He spins away from her and walks to the center of the room. He speaks without looking at her. “What do you want, Scully? I think I made myself clear. I’m not fucking doing this anymore!”

“What the hell does that mean. You’re quitting the X-Files? Just like that, one fake Bigfoot and you’re done!”

He steps closer, closer than he has been in months and looks down at her. “No Scully, I’m not done with the X-Files. I’m done with this.” He gestures in the space between them. “I’m done with you and your science and your skepticism. I am FUCKING done. I don’t need to be second guessed for the rest of my goddamn life!”

Mulder’s face is flushed and his fists are clinched. He is so close to her now his ragged breaths are blowing her hair.

Scully isn’t sure what to say, it’s like the floor will open up any second and drop her into the abyss. She feels tears pricking her eyes and she starts to inch backwards.

For the moment, her anger is gone. She tries to look in his eyes but all she finds is vacant rage. She steps back further, suddenly afraid of the man in front of her.

With her next step, the heel of her shoe catches on the carpet and she stumbles backwards. On instinct, Mulder reaches out and grabs her arm to keep her upright.

Scully jerks away from his touch, stumbles and spins towards the door with Mulder right behind her. He pushes his forearm along her shoulder blades and crushes her body against the door.

He grabs her right arm much like he would a suspect and presses his knee between her legs. She is stunned by the force of his movements but settles herself quickly.

With her face pressed against the door, she grunts, “Is this how it was with her? Did she like it rough? Is this why you want me gone so you can have your precious Diana?”

Mulder presses her against the door harder and breaths in her ear, “Is that what you think I want?” He releases her arm and slides his hand down to the hem of her skirt. “You think after all we’ve been through, I would turn my back on you for Diana?”

Scully pushes against the wood and tries to gain some leverage. “Really, Mulder?” She huffs. “You trust her, you’ve fucked her and..” Scully brings her foot up to catch the back of Mulder’s knee. Mulder moves out of reach and slips his hand under her skirt.

His hand slides along the inside of her thigh, catching on her nylons. “Yes, Mulder. I think …” she turns her hips to angle away from his hand. “I think you have wanted me gone since she happened back into your life. Tell me Mulder” she grunts. “How long did it take before… Umph ….she had you in her bed?”

Mulder’s hand stops just shy of her crotch. “Not long Scully, she was easy to convince.” He pushes his pelvis against her back and she shutters at the feel of his erection. “She wanted me and showed me how much. No two steps forward and one step back.

He rocks his hips into her again and Scully whimpers. She pushes back but he is too strong. “Mulder, please!” She begs. As she fights against his hold. “That’s right Scully, fight me. You always do.” He huffs as he pulls his hand from under her skirt and drags the material up past her hips.

“You know Scully, I didn’t even have to tell her I loved her…” He runs his fingers under the edge of her nylons at her hip and pulls. “She didn’t need such a declaration. All she needed was me inside her.”

Mulder rips the fabric free from her body and slides his hand around to her stomach. Palm flat on her abdomen, he pulls her tight to his body causing Scully’s arms to reach for the door to keep from falling forward. He dick is pressed against her ass and he slips his fingers into her panties. Scully is slowly losing her ability to fight.

“Mulder.” She pants. “Please, not like this.” His fingers inch lower, brushing along her slick folds. “Shit, Scully. Your fucking drenched!”

“Mulder, let me go.” Her tone brings Mulder back to himself.

Scully slumps against the door and Mulder pulls his hand from her warmth.

The loss of contact causes her knees to give out and she slides the rest of the way to the floor. Her skirt is bunched around her hips, her face in her hands and her shoulders quaking with sobs.

Mulder stands over her looking down at her tiny form. “Fucking hell, Scully. What have I done.” He squats beside her and runs his hands over her back. “God, Scully. I’m so sorry. I never wanted this… I mean never like this.”

Scully swats his hand away and stands on shaky legs. She sucks in a breath and reaches for his hand.

She slides her fingers through his and brings them to her lips. She runs her tongue along the pads of his fingers, tasting herself on his skin. Scully slips his index finger past her lips and cleans it with her tongue.

Mulder shudders and lets out a sigh. “Scully, I never meant to hurt you. I …lov…” He is cut off by the cool air on his finger as it drops from her mouth.

She opens the door and steps outside.

Scully turns and looks him in the eye before saying, “Really, Mulder? I find no scientific basis or plausible theory for that statement.”

#msr #angry Mulder

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survivor-themyscira-blog · 7 years ago

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My tribe SEEMS nice so far, but it's weird how there are so many meninists here instead of women fighters. When I win, it's gonna be funny because I'll literally ruin Wonder Woman's legacy

I AM SO PUMPED TO BE PLAYING! I really like a lot of the people I'm playing with and I really want to get to know people I don't know already and if merge DOES happen I really want to work closely with Emily and make her my number one! I'm so excited, I can't wait for this to be another great season, woohoo! <3

okay, my number one on my tribe as of right now is going to be JACK! we played in another game together and I didn't speak to him until like right before I got booted, and I tried to flirt with him to keep me so this time we're going to work with one another FROM THE BEGINNING! But believe me, when it's time to merge or tribe swap?? EMILY is gonna be my number one! Also... talking to JG is like talking to a wall look- [10/11/17, 10:55:41 PM] JG Carse (SirDragon) 🐉: Heyyyy [10/11/17, 10:56:00 PM] Ruthie: hey! how are you? [10/11/17, 10:56:18 PM] JG Carse (SirDragon) 🐉: Great [10/11/17, 10:56:41 PM] Ruthie: that’s good! i’m so excited for this season! I HATE ONE WORD ANSWERS MORE THAN ANYTHING UGH. also I doubt I'll ever write this many confessionals so...... i'm also looking forward to working with logan he is one of my FAVES! but i don't want to rely on people I've known before so I really hope I get to know everyone better.

Oh GROSS did I really flirt with a SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD in that other game, why did I think Jack was like 22 or something, EW. anyway he's still going to be my number one this season! why am I still making confessionals

There Charlotte. Now you have something to read. How could you put me on the same tribe as Kai and Andreas?

It's been an hour and I still don't know what the fuck is going on.

Holy shit, I was hoping this would be a nice return to TS and it did not disappoint! I mean, sure, I was only gone for a short while, but still. So far, my tribe looks amazing, and I really wanna get to talk with some of them more. I'm excited to meet with Billy and Jack once we merge or swap, and it'd be nice to play a game with Madison for once! There's one weird thing, though. Jordan Pines volunteered to be my goat. Yes, you read that right.

My name is Jaiden Hantz and I have something to say...! So I found the Ares Helmet, a super hidden immunity idol. The catch is, it can only be played at the first tribal!!! Damn! As shitty as it is, I don't really want to go to the first tribal. I want Jordan Pines to go home first more than anything, so I'll pray for the best possible outcome. This kind of power falling into my hands is SUCH a fun twist because I'm the only player that would actually use it at the first tribal council if given the opportunity. While not quite at Bahamas level of record time to find an advantage, I'll take what I can get here. I TRULY want to win this game because I need some redemption from Bahamas, so let's do what I can to get there. I don't need to play Athena eleven times to win (my main seasons are SHAKING). Let's get it done.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2epIBobywQ&feature=youtu.be

Welcome to Themyscira! We have NO FREAKING IDOLS

I swear to god I'm going to rip my hair out I did that gosh darn puzzle it took me half an hour (probably why I didn't find it) and I discover that it is... not there. On 10/11/17, at 11:43 PM, charlotte (themyscira host) wrote: > Unfortunately there is nothing left to find. Sorry! Nothing hurts my heart more. Anyways, other than knowing that the idol is already in play and that I don't have it, things are going well. I know Rhone, Jordan, and Toph (three men... ew) so I already have connections with them. They have all come to me separately talking about working together and I'm like nut sure but if they ask me to vote out a girl then I'm cutting them lol This season like I'm only looking out for me and my girls ya know what I'm saying I love women I like Madeline she seems fun and I want to be her friend and I also like Nicholas. Kai has yet to respond to me but I love inactives because they're an easy vote jfdkfaslka I'm just hoping we win this first immunity so we don't have to go to tribal and... risk being the first boot. I'd cry. Also this is ICONIC I was playing in a game with Jordan at like 10:30, got voted out (5 [me] to 2 [Madison, who I believe is on the other tribe fjlskdfklas]), and now I'm on another tribe with him at like 10:35. He voted me out like five minutes ago and then HAHAHAHA I'M BACK I HOPE YOU MISSED ME! I love selfie scavenger hunts because like omg I love selfies and I love scavenger hunts so like it's a major nut. I also see that the hosts want us to lip sync to a song... they're most definitely going to put all our videos together so like I'm going all out I gotta look cute and I gotta get er done well. Oh just a reminder that Lily, Madeline, and I are making merge 100% and if people try to vote us out I'm literally gonna be like remember when this was supposed to be an all female season yeah let us have it and um they gotta! It's just the tea! I'm a little grossed out at how many boys there are but I am just letting it be known that merge will be all girls and that's that on that. Okay I'm ending this with a quote from Toph: Me: I'm going to be PG in this confession. I'm going to replace my curse words with more appropriate words Toph: Like moist? This game is so freaking moist!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHgjh-NrLSU&feature=youtu.be

Okay but like Lily is already speaking my language: On 10/12/17, at 12:33 AM, Emily wrote: > are we like 2/3 girls on this tribe On 10/12/17, at 12:33 AM, Lily M-seq (Sunda Islands Host) wrote: > i think we are On 10/12/17, at 12:33 AM, Emily wrote: > wow gross On 10/12/17, at 12:33 AM, Lily M-seq (Sunda Islands Host) wrote: > gross indeed On 10/12/17, at 12:34 AM, Emily wrote: > hopefully one day there’ll be all girls On 10/12/17, at 12:34 AM, Lily M-seq (Sunda Islands Host) wrote: > tru! > how would u feel about an all girls alliance > or at least a Hippolyta girls alliance On 10/12/17, at 12:36 AM, Emily wrote: > I would nut Lily can like... get it! And SO CAN MADELINE I LOV HER TOO SHE'S SO NICE WTF i just want to be her best friend like wow I love the 2 other girls on this tribe and no doubt about it I'm making an all girls alliance with them at some point. I love women this whole confession is dedicated to how much I love Lily and Madeline ALREADY

Ughhhh i just got the worst advantage ever. The lasso of truth. It reveals who voted who in a tribal of my choice. I guess if i use it efficiently it would work well but Kai is not a strategic bunny so. Everyone on my tribe seems great so far but theyre asleep so im gonna assume theyre great arent i. I know a few people too so hopefully.those relationships carry me.

Logan

aaaaaa ill make a real confessional soon but aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I hate jordan pines

MADELINO AND KAILET FOR THE WIN.

For me the challenge is going alright, I'm about to upload a few more picture and a couple videos. I'm not much concerned with how everyone else has been handling it, it seems pretty straight forward. I hope we win cause I don't want to risk being first boot and that becoming my worst placement ever after going 1st then 5th in my two other games. As far as tribe interactions go, Nicholas and I seem to have similar academic pursuits, that could be a bonding thing or turn each other against ourselves in a late game scenario(not even close to that so I won't worry to much, just keep it in the back of my mind for now.) Toph has talked a little to me, but I'm hesitant to try to push for more at this stage, Emily is a sweetheart, Madeline seems chill, JORDAN PINES I've heard a lot about him and would rather him be with me than against me. Lily has said much to me, and it looks like there will be no chance of a Kuang Si Alliance as Andreas and Kai have given me the cold shoulder.

Alright!!! Hello everyone and welcome to The Mascara. That wasn't funny and so won't be anything you'll be reading from here on out, but that is okay because I say so. Soooo, I wasn't here at the first day but I am here now and I am happy to see that I am teamed with Ian! I love the guy, even if he's a powerhouse and will be a threat later on. But why care about that now... right? Besides Ian, I've only been able to chat with Emily and Jordan Pines so far and I think I've given them a glance into the abyss of my personality. I'm also excited to eventually meet up with JG again. Please mind that I am still very new to ORG's, so I still need to learn a lot. :-* ---- The first challenge sounds amazing but I don't think I can get a lot done, but I'll do as many as I can do today. I want to carry my own burden, so nobody can say I am not trying. That'll be all for now, thanks for watching the Andreas Show! Cheers!

I am the only one that has turned any of my selfie things in and it is SO frustrating, COME ON TRIBE, get your shit together!

Andreas is a lil weird but I like it he’s like teaching me how to cook pasta like #thankyou and he also told me I’m doing well on the challenge and I’m happy! He said the people that aren’t doing the challenge will like first boot so that’s reassuring that ya know won’t go home first woooo. Also like I just love Madeline so much and I want to be her best friend she’s so nice and wow. Like she already is like telling me she loves me and I’m like https://tmblrsurvivorextra.tumblr.com/post/166363315731 (credits to duncan for making this gif of me)

I hope Jordan Pines gets 2nd place again!

Let's do a little cast assessment jush. Idgaf about the other tribe but I love this tribe so thank you so much for not fucking me over like Tumblr Survivor loves doing ok: Jordan Pines - I actually want to sincerely work with Jordan this season because I will absolutely stomp him at FTC if I can get him there, and he'll always be targeted before me. So I'm treating him like my ride or die and so far we're making all decisions together. He's a really sweet person but he is so annoying at times it borders on disturbing. Madeline - Ok what a fucking queen, I love that we're the same age and just have similar senses of humor and stuff, plus she's new to the community so she'll want allies and Jordan and I are happy to be that for her. I love ha. Emily - Love ha too, queen of sincerity, queen of me knowing her game inside and out bc I just hosted her for 27 days and she does like SO many confessionals so I know all of her tea lmao. She could be a liability down the line but premerge she's good to have in my camp. Lily - So great and it's been forever since I've last seen her so I'm really happy she's here. Me her and Jordan all worked together in a game once upon a time and that didn't end too great so this can be our REDEMPTION. Nicholas - Nicholas is such a bae and my friend but literally where is he lmfao.

Kai - Really really sweet but we haven't talked a ton yet, probably gonna work with him. Toph - He's nice but we just haven't connected. I can't be promising everyone that I'll work w them if we end up going to TC you know? Which leaves... Andreas - Yeah he hasn't added me back yet yet has done like a ton of the selfies for the challenge so Idk what the deal is there. Survivor is a really difficult game and all I want is to go as far as I can while staying true to myself. My Achilles heel has always been my self-doubt and second-guessing tendencies so I'm trying to nip that in the bud right now and take advantage of a very advantageous premerge situation for me. I'm dreading a swap bc I barely even know who's on the other tribe but we'll just have to wait and see!

Honestly I’m pretty happy with the tribe so far even tho I’ve made no connections and my flop ass will probably be first boot

Not to be rude or anything but we have two hours where the fuck are Lily, Nicholas, and Rhone

RIP JG. Sucks to have to quit the game early, and it doubly sucks what he's going through. Obviously I'm a bit relieved to be safe after contributing a lot to the team's score and watching us get demolished, but it's certainly not a good omen for things to come.

Jordan is really nice I’m just reluctant to work with him. But like ya know I think I’m gonna anyway because I hate myself. But also um I need to talk to Madeline and Lily about that all girls thing lol I can’t not make an all girls alliance this game u know like. I just can’t not

I also told Jordan about the idol being missing when I completed the idol puzzle and he seemed surprised but ... he also could be lying. He said he didn’t even know we could search yet. And I don’t know if I believe it but hmm I’ll consider it

It’s just kinda annoying that Jack is being rude to me about us losing. Like I could’ve either done nothing or get us another 20 points - tops. Sorry that we lost but we don’t actually have to go to tribal council, SO check your attitude mister! I take full responsibility for not submitting. I don’t know what I was thinking, I KNEW it was due today but it just didn’t occur to me that it was actually due I guess. I’m shaken up. I feel terrible that JG had to leave but I hope he’s doing okay :( I kinda want to see what would happen if we DID lose a challenge though. Tribal council is an interesting place to be, I wouldn’t mind going there myself..

Imagine being spared as first boot by a med-evac? Truly a miracle! But I feel like even if JG hadn't left, Raymond/Jaiden would've been bigger targets to leave since they didn't do the challenge. Right now I'm hoping that the relationships i have with Logan and Dan from before this game can keep me afloat. Tbh I would rather be with the other tribe. They seem cuter to me.

OH ALSO WE WON SJSBSJSNS I FORGOT TO CONFESS ABOUT THAT AND I GOT THE MOST POINTS OUT OF EVERYONE AND J GET A SPECIAL THING but there was nothing in my matches #rig

I'm really digging this game so far. My tribe is super active and nice. I feel bad that I'm not around much, but I'm hoping once things calm down I'll be able to hang out more.

#whatidoisnotuptoyou #athena11 #episodes

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