#fakest hater in the world...

[llemon-soda]

[hwashitape]

Nagumo…………

[kakusboyfriend]

Look man I'm the fakest gltas fan out there solely bc i fucking hate Aya's characterization but fuck it if Guy's intro EP didn't break me a little.

Like. Look at me. Ok. Everyone knows and loves him and he gets along well with everyone to the point of being invited to get togethers with the guardians themselves. And Hal is the one that attacks him first - he's an annoyance but at the end this truly was not His choice. He's just doing his job. Hal is just a hater.

And like. Like. He's a showboat insufferable bastard at times. As he ought to be. But the sequence of him trying to incorporate football into his and Hals attacks, asking hal if he played, and, upon hearing Hal was more of a baseball guy growing up, Immediately switching into baseball themed attacks. Then saying that if he left earth, no one would miss him, and Hal is lucky to have Carol as a friend at least.

And it's so funny that he asks for Carol's number after she breaks up with Hal, and Hal clocks him straight into the snow and he's just like Hey. 😊👍

Like, sorry. That Guy Gardner went to therapy about his issues and is widely loved and respected by everyone he works with. But the tint of sadness in his speech about not being missed - it's almost like Earth never felt like home to him and he only found himself when he was chosen as Earth's new lantern. It's just. So.

Oh yeah and the fact that Immediately after him and Hal make up, this happens

He's a loveable annoying meathead and this means the fucking world to me. Don't talk to me until I've thought about him for the first 8 hours of my day, it's just not the same.

[bug2net]

From minute 1 it was the fakest thing in the world and I have people threaten me all the time so maybe if my followers believe it I just need to kick them out for being stupid. And the aggressor (kasanemichael) starts shit like every day so you know what none of this fucking matters. Goodbye haters

[kelsen8er]

If Rook Hunt has million numbers of haters I am one of them. If Rook has ten haters I am one of them. If Rook has only one hater and that is me . If Rook has no haters, that means I am no more on the earth. Is world is with the Rook, I am against the world. I hate #Rook till my last breath.. .. Die Hard hater of Rook . Reblog If you think Rook Hunt fakest bitch & Dumb In the world

[fallforcs]

The Tutor

Art by: @jell-obeans

Author: @blackwidownat2814

Summary: How long does it take to honest-to-God fall in love with someone?  A week? A year? This was not something that usually went through Emma Swan’s daily thought processes.  She prided herself on keeping away from any kind of attachments, be it friends or just men in general. She wasn’t a man-hater, she just saw men for what they were: assholes.  Assholes who thought she owed them something after just one date or thought her weak and tried to take advantage of her kindness. She swore she wouldn’t fall for a nice guy with a pretty face.  But somehow, she still ended up in her current problem: quite possibly, most definitely,maybe, in love with The Tutor.

Rating and reason for the rating: I think the rating is either General or Teen, simply because I use 2 or 3 different ‘curse words’ a few times.

Trigger warnings: None

It all started a year and half before.  Emma had only been working at Storybook Public Library for three weeks when she met him…

~*~*~*~*~*~

A Year and a Half Ago…

“Emma, are you good to run the desk on your own for a bit?” asked Belle.  She was the head librarian of Storybrooke’s small public library and Emma’s savior when she came looking for a job just a month ago.

“’Course boss!” Emma called.

“I told you not to call me that!”

“I know!”  Emma smiled as she made her way out to the reference desk in the middle of the library.  She took a seat behind the computer and pulled up her ebook to keep her company. She had barely started the latest chapter of ‘ Dead to the World’ by Charlaine Harris, when she realized she wasn’t alone.

Emma looked up and the elbow she was using to hold up her head while she read slipped off the desk, surprising her immensely.  The man before her was beyond gorgeous, even with a concerned look on his face.

“Are you okay love?”

“Wha–”  The man pointed to her elbow.

“Your elbow, you’ve hit it.  Are you okay?”

“Oh!  Yeah, yeah.  Nothing a little embarrassment won’t take care of.”  Emma took a deep breath and put on her customer service smile.  “What can I help you find today sir?”

“I just need one of the study rooms please love.”

“Sure, just need your library card to sign you in.”  The man place his briefcase and small stack of books onto the desk counter and pulled out his wallet to fish through it for his card.  Once located, he handed it over. “Name?”

“Killian. Jones…and if you’ve one of the larger rooms, could I please have that one?”

“Of course.”  Emma slid Killian Jones’ card into the binder that held the IDs and library cards of patrons using the study rooms and handed back a key with a number one hanging off of it.  “There you go.”

“Thank you.”  He picked up his things and turned to leave for the study room, “By the way, if little Roland Locksley asks for me, could you point him in the right direction?”

“Sure.”

Sure enough, Roland, and his dad Robin, showed up 15 minutes later.  About an hour later, they were both met near the front desk by Robin, who conversed with Jones with Roland wandered over to chat with Emma.  At six years old, Roland was a cute kid with ‘dimples for days’, as Belle liked to say often.

“Hi Miss Emma!”

“Hey kid.  How are you?”

“I’m okay.”  He came around the desk and sat next to her.  “Uncle Killy says I’m doing much better!”

“And what does Uncle Killy say you’re much better at?”

“He’s teaching me to read better!”  His smile dropped before he continued, “I wasn’t doing so good after my mommy went to Heaven, so Daddy asked Uncle Killy to help me.”  Emma saw his face begin to crumple and took his little hands in hers.

“Hey…I know what it’s like to lose someone like that.  If you ever need someone to talk to, you can come talk to me too, okay Roland?”

“Yes Miss Emma.”  He jumped in her arms and gave her a big hug.

During their small talk, Killian and Robin had turned their attention to the two of them.  Many years later, Robin would say that he knew the exact moment Killian Jones fell in love with Emma Swan.

~*~*~*~*~*~

One Year Ago…

Emma was writing up some ideas for library programs when a shadow fell over her.  She looked up to see a smiling Killian Jones.

“Hey Killian.  What can I help you with?”

“Afternoon dear Swan.  Could I have one of the study rooms please?”  Emma took his library card and stuck it in the folder and handed him the key.

“So, how are Roland and the others doing?”

“Swimmingly, Swan.  They’ve shown marked improvement and Roland’s favorite part is getting to see you afterwards…as is mine.”

Emma felt her cheeks beginning to heat up and she ducked her head so he wouldn’t see her smile.  She couldn’t let him see that he affected her, so she steeled herself and looked back up.

“I’m sure you say that to all the girls.”

“Only to the ones I can’t wait to see every day.”

“Uh huh.”

“So, Swan, I was wonder–”  Before Killian could continue, he was interrupted by Leo Nolan and his father David, Storybrooke’s Sheriff.

“Mithter Killian!” Leo cried, jogging over to his tutor.

“Inside voices now lad, we are in a library”, he replied.  “We wouldn’t want the Lady Swan to get mad at us, would we?”  Leo shook his little head and smiled up at Emma.

“Sowwy Mith Emma.”  She leaned over the desk and ruffled his blonde hairs.

“No worries Leo, just remember for next time, okay?”

“Yeth ma’am!”

“Well lad, let’s get to work, shall we?”  Leo hugged his dad bye and Killian offered his hand to the little boy and they went over to their assigned study room to get to work.

“He’s a pretty nice guy you know”, said David as he leaned on the reference desk.

“Of course he is, he’s your son”, Emma replied as she typed something up.  “You and Mary Margaret wouldn’t raise anyone less.”

“I wasn’t talking about Leo.”

“I know you weren’t.”  She sighed and looked up from her computer, “Let it go David.  It’s never going to happen.”

“He likes you Emma.”

“So?  I liked Neal and look what that asshole did to me.  I liked Walsh and we just don’t talk about him. ”

“Not every guy that show’s an interest is a dick.”

“Yeah, well…in my experience, they have been.”

An hour later, when Killian was done with Leo’s tutoring, he was back at the desk after seeing Leo off to David.

“Hello again Swan.”

“Hey Killian.”  She looked up from her work once more, to see him just standing there, fidgeting and scratching behind his ear.  “Do you need something else or…?”

“Swan…Emma, uh, I was wondering if you might, um…”  Emma couldn’t help but smile lightly at his shy demeanor when he was usually so open and flirty with her (and any woman probably, she thought to herself).  “…like to get a coffee or a meal with me sometime?”

“Killian…”  Not looking at Killian, Emma sighed and reached up to fidget with her necklace, the main reminder she held that no man is ever to be trusted, no matter what, because they will turn on you.  “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”  

Many a man had called her an ice-hearted bitch, and maybe she was from time to time, but in this moment, something about the way the big and shy smile melted from Killian’s face at her rejection, made her feel especially like an ice-hearted bitch, and she didn’t even go full tilt when she said no.  Especially when, after looking down at the floor, he looked back up at her and he had the fakest smile she’d ever seen on his face. Something like that didn’t belong on Killian’s face.

“In that case, please forgive me for disturbing you Miss Swan.”  

Killian picked up his briefcase from where he had set it on the counter and she saw his left hand in full view for the very first time since they’d met:  there were scars all along the fingers and patches of burned and slightly pink-tinged skin all around it. Emma hadn’t meant to stare, she really didn’t, but Killian caught her and now even the fake smile was gone.

“It’s not polite to stare Miss Swan”, he said with a hard tone.

“Oh, um…I’m sorry Killian I did–”  She tried apologizing but he cut her off before she could finish.

“Forget about it”, he said, and without a goodbye or any parting word, he spun on his heel and left the library in a hurry.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Two Weeks Later…

She hadn’t seen him in a couple weeks and she was so sure it was because of her.  The kids still came for tutoring, but it was with Mary Margaret instead.

Finally, after she couldn’t take it anymore, Emma stopped Mary Margaret one afternoon to ask after Killian.

“Hey Mary Margaret?  Can I ask you something?”

“Hey Emma.  Sure, yeah. What’s up?”

“Why are you here?”  Nothing the confused look on her friend’s face, she backtracked.  “What I should’ve asked was why isn’t Killian here?” Mary Margaret gave her a smug smile, like she knew something Emma didn’t.  “No, don’t even start.”

“He’s on vacation.  He went to see his brother’s family in Boston because his sister-in-law just gave birth to their first”, she said.

“Oh, okay.”

“He should be back in a day or so.”

And she was right, because two days later, Killian was back at the library tutoring the kids.  When he stopped at the desk to return his key and get his card back, Emma gave him a small smile.

“I heard you went to see family.  How are the new parents doing?” Killian huffed a small laugh, but didn’t look her in the eye.

“Mary Margaret sure doesn’t know how to keep things to herself, does she?”

“Not really, no.”

“I’m just glad I haven’t told her any of my other secrets.”  Killian stuffed his card into his wallet, and turned back to her.  “Elsa and little Alexander William Jones are doing perfectly, thank you for asking.  Anyways, I’ll see you on Friday…Swan.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

10 Months Ago…

After the disasters that were her relationships with Neal and Walsh, Emma had told herself that she didn’t need nor want someone to share her life with.  She was perfectly fine with her usual way of scratching the itch with a one nighter.

Emma refused to fall for his charm and pretty face and flirtatious nature.  No! She wouldn’t have a crush on him. It was only inviting trouble into her life.  He would realize how broken and messed up she was and he would realize she wasn’t worth the trouble.  Killian would leave her, just like everyone else in her life had.

The only problem was that her resolve was starting to break down.  With each and every day he came in to the library and tutored the kids and showed them how proud he was with their progress, the ice around her heart melted a little more.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Eight Months Ago…

Emma watched as Killian sauntered over to chat with Rose (nicknamed Tink/Tinkerbell by the kids because she reminded them of the famous Disney pixie), one of the new librarians, over at the Children’s Desk.  Tink did everything right: smiled at him and laughed at different things he said.

Emma knew she was screwed when she saw Killian do the thing where he scratched behind his ear, just like he did before he asked her out.  She watched as Tink smiled at Killian and nodded, grabbing a paper from the desk and scribbling something down on it, then handing it over to him.  He did his shy smile and stuffed the paper in the pocket of his pants.

Killian turned to leave and waved at her as he walked out the front door.  After he’d left, Tink came bustling over with a giant smile on her face.

“Emma!  You wouldn’t believe it!”

“Uh, believe what?”

“Killian!  He asked me out on a date this weekend!”

“Oh…wow.  Congrats.”

“We’re going to that nice restaurant on the harbor.  I’m just so happy! I’ve had the biggest crush on him since I saw him in town.”

“I’m sure you two will have an awesome time and make beautiful babies.”

“Won’t we?”  

Tink went back to her department with an enthusiastic wave and Emma…well, she felt lonelier than ever.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Five Months Ago…

Three months.  She’d had to endure (what she sarcastically called) their lovey-dovey state.  He didn’t come over to talk to her at the Reference Desk that much anymore…and it killed her because she’d (reluctantly) become his friend since he’d started coming to tutor the kids at the library.

After being bugged and pushed and prodded by Belle and Ruby so much, Emma was willing to admit that she had a crush on Killian Jones…and that was it.

“It is not it Emma…”, said Belle, “…and you know it.”

“Yeah, if this isn’t more than a crush, then I’m a werewolf AND Little Red Riding Hood”, replied Ruby.

“If anything, you’re in love!” said Belle.

“Please.  I’m not in love with him.”

“Yes you are!” both women said and they began to sing.  “Emma and Killian sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love–”

“FINE.  Fine! I like him okay?” Emma whisper-yelled, looking towards the door of the library breakroom, making sure Tink wasn’t around.  Ruby and Belle both gave her a Look.

“You like him?” asked Ruby.

“Yes!  Yes I do!  I don’t love him…at least not yet, but I’m definitely on the road to falling, as cheesy as that may sound.  He makes it really hard not to like him and not to fall a little bit in love with him each day.”

“Aw, Emma!” exclaimed Belle.

“I mean, you’d have to be stupid not to like him.  The way he’s with the kids? So patient and loving and helpful and ugh!  I sound like some pathetic high school nerd who likes the jock and will never get him because he’s with the head cheerleader who’s more beautiful and not perfect and I need to shut up.”  She took a deep breath and kept talking, effectively cutting off Ruby who was about to speak. “And yeah, I am jealous.  Every time I see them together, it hurts a little more than the last time I saw them.  It kills me because the one I should be mad at is myself because it could’ve been me. He asked me out like, six months ago and I said it wasn’t a good idea and I just…”  Emma sighed and then stood up from the table. “Look. Just drop it, please?”

“Yeah, sure”, replied Ruby and Belle nodded from next to her.

“Thanks guys.”  Emma took her place at the desk for the rest of her shift, only making small talk with Tink when she wandered over later in the afternoon to wait for Killian.  Emma made sure to be in the restroom when he arrived, not sure she could look him in the face after her realization earlier.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Three Months Ago…

Emma was walking back to the library after her lunch break one afternoon when she saw Killian and Tink talking right in front of the doors.  She decided to hang back until the finished their conversation and really did try not to listen.

“Why, after all this time?  You could’ve said no five months ago”, she heard Killian say and then a sigh from Tink.

“I was being selfish, Killian, I liked you so much.”  Tink paused to take a deep breath, “But I still knew how you felt and I thought that maybe, by being with me, I could make you forget it and get over it…and maybe I could be the one to make you smile and blush and happy in your life.”

“You do make me happy!” he cried.

“Then why do you still come here?”

“To see you.  It’s so that I can see you every day love.”  Killian was beginning to sound exasperated. “And it’s where I do my work with the children.”

“We can see each other every day at lunch”, replied Tink.  “And you can work with the kids at theirs or yours or even the school, you don’t have to keep coming here.  I know why you do, and it’s because of her .”

“Tink, please…”

“I should’ve realized you were in too deep with your feelings towards her, that’s my fault.”  Tink paused for a moment. “I’m not mad though…and I don’t harbor bad feelings towards either one of you, but you have to admit it.  Admit to me that you love her.”

Emma stood stock still around the corner, waiting on bated breath to hear Killian’s answer.  He did a deep sigh.

“I do, I love her.  But she doesn’t love me or like me like that even a bit, so why does it bloody well matter?”

“Because she does Killian, she’s just like you, too scared to admit things sometimes, too hurt by others to trust, but that’s okay.”

“You don’t know that.”

They were both quiet for a bit and Emma was on pins and needles, wondering who she’d be losing Killian to this time.

“Look, despite everything, I care about you Killian.  It’s just…this isn’t going to work. I’m letting you off the hook.  Know that I will always care about you and that I do love you, just not like that.  And who knows? Maybe one day long in the future, if things don’t work out and you’re ready to move on, give me a call and I may be available”, Tink said.

“I’m so sorry Tink”, said Killian.

“It’s okay.  I wish it would’ve worked though, but I can’t compete with Emma Swan.”

Emma’s eyes went wide.  She immediately turned and ran towards the small building her studio apartment was housed.  Once there, she texted Belle saying she wasn’t feeling well and would be out for a few days.

~*~*~*~*~*~

One month ago…

Emma was glad to be back in Storybrooke.  After a tense month, Emma decided she needed time away.  She’d spent the last month basically avoiding Killian by asking Belle to change up her schedule so that she wouldn’t be there when he would be doing tutoring.  Emma also tried to make an effort to be nicer to Tink and tried her hardest to not let on that she’d heard the entire conversation between Tink and Killian.

Despite that, Emma still just needed time.  She needed time to think and clear her head and decide what to do.  Should she tell Killian she liked him? ( Oh my God, I sound like a teenager!  I am a God damn adult! I need to grow up! )   Should she just pick up and find work in another small town and move away?  No, because however much she wanted it, she needed to actually be the adult she claimed to be. And Emma wouldn’t be that adult if she ran away from her problems…again.

She had some of her savings to spend two weeks on a cruise that went around Italy and Greece, somewhere she’d always wanted to go but never thought she’d be able to.  No one really knew where she was exactly or what she was up to, just Belle and Emma made her swear on the library that she wouldn’t say anything to anyone.

While on the trip, as she sat on a beach in Mykonos, Emma came to a conclusion: she was in love with Killian Jones.  It wasn’t because he was gorgeous as all get out and had an accent to die for (Emma wasn’t perfect, but she wasn’t that vain), it was because he was a good man, a kind-hearted man who took time out of his day to tutor children in one of the most important things they could ever learn, because if they couldn’t read or understand what they read, they wouldn’t be able to learn anything else.  Emma also found out that not only did he take the time to tutor the kids, but that he did it for free (thanks for not being able to keep secrets Mary Margaret!).

Emma was just a bit nervous on her first day back.  Belle had told her that Killian was upset when he didn’t see her for a few days and Belle explained that her hours had changed, but wouldn’t tell him what they changed to.  But when Killian discovered no one had seen her for days on end, and Belle refused to tell him anything, he became anxious and very concerned. He would come into the library every day and nag Belle into telling him something, anything , about Emma’s whereabouts.

She was shelving some books with her back to the desk when she heard the squeak of the hinges of the library door and realized it was probably Killian arriving for his tutoring session with Alexandra Boyd.  Sure enough, a few seconds later, he was standing at the desk waiting for someone to help him.

“Hi Killian.”

“Swan?”

“How are you?”  Killian surprised her when he scoffed indignantly.

“ ‘How are you?’ ” he spat.  “Are you seriously asking me that?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?  I’m trying to be nice.”

“It’s been two months Emma!”  Belle stuck her head out from around the corner near the Circulation Desk.

“Um, Killian, would you mind keeping it down?  We are in a library.”

“Stay out of this!  You helped her lie!” he whisper-yelled.  Belle just rolled her eyes and held her hands up in surrender, backing away and back to her spot at the front.  

“Don’t you dare take this out on her!  Your problems are with me!”

“That’s the point Swan, I have no problems with you!  I’ve been worried is all!”

“I don’t need you to worry about me.  I was on my own as a kid, then I was on my own after Ingrid died.”  Emma folded her arms and took a deep breath, “Besides, don’t you have a girlfriend to worry about?”  Killian pursed his lips into a thin line and he looked at the floor.

“We broke up.  Tink and I broke up a couple months ago.”

“Why?”

“She wanted to see other people.”  Even if she hadn’t heard the conversation between the couple, granting her knowledge of the truth, Emma would know he was lying.

“Ha.  Now who’s the one who’s lying?”

“I’m no–”

“I’m going to let you in on a little secret: I can tell when people are lying to me.  I always have. That’s why my work before I came here was as a bounty hunter. So let me ask you again: Why did you two break up?”

“I’ve already bloody said why.”

“Then I guess…we’re done here.”  Emma turned to leave and go to the back, but Killian tried to go after her.

“Swan…”

“I’ll see you around Mr. Jones.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

Now…

He stopped tutoring the kids at the library on the days she was there, just like she’d done those months ago.  The first few times, Emma thought it was because he just needed a couple days to cool down. After a week, she knew why he wasn’t there: he was avoiding her…or he was done with her.  Her insecure self, deep down, was telling her that that was why he wasn’t coming to the library when she was there anymore.  Emma wanted to find him, to apologize for avoiding him, and to tell him the truth about how she felt.

Emma was lost in thought when she was accosted by a little body.

“Miss Emma!”  Roland squeezed her around the waist.

“Hey kid, how’s it going?” she asked.

“Pretty awesome!”  Roland let her go and took a seat next to her at the desk.  “Uncle Killy says I read perfect for my age now!”

“That’s awesome!”  Emma’s heart was in her throat at the mention of Killian.  “Hey, kid? Is um…is your Uncle Killy here?”

“Yup!  He’s up front talking to my Papa.”  Roland pointed towards the front circulation desk where it looked like Robin and Killian were having a quiet argument.  “Hi Papa! Hi Uncle Killy!”

The men looked over at Roland and she saw Killian’s eyes widen when he saw her.  He turned back to Robin and they just lightly glared at each other until Robin smacked him on the arm and said,

“ Go .”

“Fine.”  Killian came over to the desk and spoke to Roland first, “Your papa needs you lad.”

“Okay!  Bye Miss Emma!  Bye Uncle Killy!”

Killian and Emma watched as Roland went back to his father and they both waved as they left.  After they were left alone, before Emma could say anything, Killian turned back to face her.

“Why were you avoiding me?”

He looked at her with a pleading look and just pure love in his eyes.

“You’re the one that stopped coming here.”  Killian looked away and scratched behind his ear.

“I’m sorry Swan.  I did so because I didn’t think you wanted to see, since I was lying to you and refusing to admit the truth to myself.”

“What truth?” Emma asked with anticipation.

“I will tell you, but you have to answer my question first: Why did you avoid me all those months ago?”

Emma looked away and wrung her hands together; it was going to be now or never.   Time to nut up or shut up Emma, you need to tell him.  She took a deep breath and looked back at Killian.

“Because…because I think I fell in love with you, okay?   That’s why I avoided you.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

Some time later…

“So that’s how you fell in love?” she asked.

“Yes my Cygnet”, Killian replied with a wide smile.  “Your mum made me work hard for it. I got scared and spent time with Auntie Tink…”

“But she’s married to Uncle Jeff!”

“I know darling, but this was before she met Uncle Jeff.  Your mum and I were both scared but in the end, like I’ve been telling you this whole time, we found the strength to come back to each other.”

“I’m glad or I wouldn’t be here, right Papa?”

“You’re very right, Miss Meara Jones.”  Killian pulled his little girl into a big hug.  There was nothing greater than one of Meara’s hugs.  After a little while, they were interrupted by a small cough by Dr. Whale.”

“Mr. Jones, Miss Jones?  She’s ready to see you.”

“Thanks Victor!”  Meara hopped off of Killian’s lap and hugged Victor’s legs, who squatted down to her level when she let him go.

“You have to promise me one thing though, Princess.”

“Anything!”

“You have to be a little quiet because your mommy is going to be tired and you don’t want to wake anyone, okay?  You promise?”

“Yes sir!”  Victor high fived Meara and she tiptoed down the hallway, followed by Victor and Killian.

“Thanks mate.”

“No problem man, after all, she introduced me to my wife.”

The two men shook hands and parted, Victor going off to check on his other patients and Killian followed his daughter into his wife’s hospital room.  He took Meara’s hand and they went up to the bed where Emma sat speaking quietly to the bundle in her arms.

“Hi mummy!” whispered Meara.  “Can I sit with you?”

“Of course.  Killian, would you?”  Killian smiled and lifted their four year old up onto the hospital bed.

“Meara, we’d like you to meet your little brother: Wesley Oliver Jones.”

[muhreblags]

Black Panther Review

Meh, very forgettable. I’ll explain myself, but let me ramble about the MCU first.

     I’m an indie movie fan through and through. I’m a sucker for movies with style and punch. I don’t read/watch/follow Marvel and I don’t follow the MCU. While I do like some Marvel movies (like Guardians of the Galaxy and Deadpool), I’m lazy and don’t have enough brand loyalty to watch all of their movies. In fact, you could say I kind of hate the MCU and any large, multi-movie franchise. As an outsider to the  Marvel universe, they mostly lack style and identity as films and, as of late, are full of fan-bait that are honestly kind of cringey. They look bland, sound bland, and don’t leave much of an impact. However, I believe that these kinds of adaptations should be able to appeal to fans and non-fans alike.

     Black Panther is the culmination of how bland Marvel is. While there are some aspects that work, it doesn’t exceed expectations enough to be memorable. Many problems I have with it are also problems I have with the MCU in general. Spoilers below:

     Like other Marvel movies, the cinematography of Black Panther is serviceable, but lacks style and emotional impact. Each scene is shot in the simplest, blandest way possible: they tell each scene clearly, but without any emotional impact. There are no memorably directed scenes or shots. This is kind of disappointing as visual storytelling can really make or break a movie. For example, I would consider the Neon Demon a much better movie for its great use of color even though it has a very weak plot. 

     In addition, the over-reliance on CG was painful in this movie. The giant war rhinos were so fake that I actually got offended. Like, does Marvel think I’m blind or something?? I have EYES. I can SEE. THOSE ARE THE FAKEST, ASSIEST RHINOS I’VE EVER SEEN. In addition, the last scene where T’Challa’s sitting outside the Panther Cave (or whatever it’s called) with Killmonger had the fakest looking CG backdrop. The ground literally looked painted on. The South Pole in the Last Airbender movie looked better (yes it did, fight me). I’m genuinely shocked that this was a high-budget action movie. The car chase where Black Panther blows up a car looked fake and weightless. There were no stakes in any action scene and they got stupider with each fight. I just want to go up to a Marvel executive and tell them that flashing lights and bright colors DON’T MAKE A GOOD ACTION SCENE. Seriously!! They have enough money to hire a stunt actor and do real shit outside! The Dark Knight had better action scenes! And that had way less money/resources. And was done LITERALLY A DECADE AGO. I really don’t get how people can put up with this bullshit. If you want a good action movie, go watch Jackie Chan, the Raid films, or even House of Flying Daggers. 

     Many scenes are chaotic in composition. As in, there are way too many things, colors, and objects in the scene at one time. I wouldn’t say Black Panther is the worst example of this in the MCU, but a lot of the shots (especially those set in Wakanda) are unfocused and distracting due to the overuse of CG and overabundance of colors and background objects/people. The spirit world scenes would be good if they didn’t have the obnoxious purple sky. Good composition doesn’t mean cool CG, bright colors and cluttered shots. It requires focus in both color and object placement. I wish that more scenes in this movie were simpler and had less objects to distract from the main focus of each shot. Yes, Wakanda’s such a futuristic and vibrant place that simple, clean composition would be hard, but Marvel has the resources to hire a good, creative director of photography who would be able to fix these issues. I know, it sucks that good composition requires hard work and talent :(

     The music was a little better in Black Panther than other MCU movies. I loved its use of traditional African drums and the hip-hop beats. It’s fine, though I honestly don’t remember any track specifically that I really liked. There’s honestly not much to say about this part because I honestly didn’t hate the soundtrack, but it didn’t really stick to me either.

     Black Panther’s plot is the best part about it. While rushed and bland in some parts, I like the overall theme it was trying to get at: that we can’t fight hate with hate. Killmonger is a very sympathetic villain and I can see where he’s coming from. While I obviously don’t agree with him, I like that the movie explains why he wants Wakanda to take over the world. I also like T’Challa’s personal struggle coming to terms with the fact that his father isn’t a perfect man and that Wakanda’s ethnonationalist, isolationist stance is wrong. I just wish that these themes and character arcs weren’t cut short for shitty ass jokes and extra, unnecessary sideplots and villains (looking at you, Klaue). 

     Overall, I found this movie quite bait-y, full of unfunny jokes and pandering. It had a lot of potential, but didn’t quite reach the “good movie” mark. The directing was lackluster (as expected of a Marvel movie), the action scenes were kind of shit, the CG was not impressive, none of the jokes were funny, the music was alright, and the plot was ok. To people who say that “haters” just don’t know how to watch a Marvel movie, or that people like me should just lower their standards for Marvel since we aren’t fans and shit, no and no. Marvel movies are movies first and foremost, and will be judged as such.