#fake four inc

[going-to-ikea-for-the-fries]

Bait and Switch. || Scammer!Reader x Victim!Ghost

Rating: M Words: 2.6K~ Pairing: scammer!Reader x victim(but not really)!Ghost CW: phone scams/conning (reader never actually cons him), financial issues?, threats (Simon threatens to find reader), degradation?. other tags: crack, OOC Simon., you/your pronouns (gn!reader but uses a female fake name), obviously fake names (pun/funny), lying, joking, the weirdest meet cute? a/n: this started out as a joke/crack and turned serious/dark at the end? idk how i did this.

Simon Riley would say that being legally dead is the best thing to have happened to him and that's because it allowed him to escape a bunch of responsibilities that regular men have to uphold.

He gets paid covertly, in full, and does not have to pay taxes on his income.

He rented a flat from a sweet ol' lady, who didn't run a background check or ask for a copy of his birth certificate (terrible choice on her part), and he pays her by dropping an envelope of cash in her mailbox on the 1st of every of the month.

He not only is old enough to drink but also sounds and looks old enough as well, which means he doesn't need I.D. to buy alcohol (not that any shops or bars really care enough to check).

He doesn't have a credit card. Or a debit card for that matter. Hell, he doesn't even have a bank account, so he doesn't have to pay maintenance fees.

He doesn't have a smartphone. And up until recently he only had a pager. In fact, the only reason he doesn't have a pager anymore is because it got shot in the crossfire during a mission... so Price forced him to get a jitterbug.

In short... Simon Riley can escape a lot of things (death, taxes, Philip Graves...). But telemarketers and phone scammers are not one of those things.

That's how, on a boring Wednesday afternoon, his new phone ends up ringing, like it had been doing multiple times a week for the last four weeks.

Telemarketers.

He never got telemarketers on his pager.

He hated telemarketers.

But that didn't mean he blocked them-

"What?" He answered as soon as he picked up the phone.

An automated voice came over the call, one of those typical Siri-esque robot voices, delivering a prepared speech: "Congratulations! You've won a free cruise to the Bahamas! To claim your prize, press 1."

Oh, now, this was different. He didn't need to hear more to know it was a scam call. But that didn't mean he was going to hang up.

So Simon pressed key 1, which caused a beep to sound over the call.

"Thank you!" The automated voice continued. "We are now connecting you to a live operator to claim your prize!"

Barely a millisecond went by before you took over the call. "Good afternoon, this is Stella Gormoni with Blissful Blessings Inc.! Who am I speaking with?"

As stereotypical as it is, Simon had expected a different voice on the other end of the line... maybe from a scammer in a foreign country who'd speak heavily-accented English...

But instead, he got a sweet and professional sounding person... It almost made him second-guess the scam that was being pulled on him.

His mind moved quick at coming up with a fake name. Not just a fake one, but a pun one too. "Wanh'a, first name Aiden." He replied, his gruff voice reverberating on the call.

"And how do you spell that?" You asked him politely, and, through your headset, he could hear your keyboard keys clacking in the background.

"That's A-I-D-E-N." He replied as he entered his kitchen, spelling his first, as if that was somehow what was causing you difficulty.

"Uh-huh!" You acknowledged in a peppy tone. "And... your surname?" You asked him.

"W-A-N-H-'-A." He continued spelling as he crossed the small kitchen, hearing your fingers tapping away at your keyboard in his ear.

For a moment, you didn't talk, as if stunned into silence. Had you just picked up on the fact he was trolling you by giving you a name that, phonetically, sounded like 'I Don't Wanna'? Probably. But you hadn't hung up yet.

"Well, congratulations, Mr. Wanh'a, you just won an all-inclusive, two-week long cruise to the Bahamas!" Your peppy tone made him bite his lip to contain a laugh. Well, at least you were dedicated in continuing the scam. "How are you feeling?"

"Very well, and yourself?" Simon asked casually as he leaned himself against the door of his refrigerator, leaning down to look inside and find a snack.

"I'm doing very well, thank you, sir." You replied in a cheerful tone. "So, let's process the information so we can get you your prize, shall we?" You announced in a polite tone.

"Go right on ahead, sweet'eart." He murmured as he grabbed a yogurt and closed the fridge with his hip, sitting at the table and peeling open the lid.

"Well, for us to start, I'm going to need your-"

"Actually, I have a question, before we start." Simon interrupted your speech, cutting off your silver-tongued lies.

You went silent for just a moment before you replied with a sweet little: "Of course, what can I help you with, Mr. Wanh'a?"

"I want to know how exactly I signed up to receive this prize." Simon replied before he placed a spoonful of yogurt in his mouth.

He was trying to accomplish two things by doing this: 1) throw you off your game and make you stammer and stutter, and 2) see how long it took for you to get annoyed, and hang up on him.

"Well, that's what I was going to explain, you see-" You replied, a smile behind your voice, but his trained ears could pick up the slight frustration. It made Simon smile.

"Oh, then, I'm sorry for interrupting you, sweet'art, please go ahead." He replied and gestured with his spoon, as if giving you the stage, unnecessarily so, because you were not there to watch it.

"As I was saying... You were entered automatically into the draw by buying a cereal box of any Kellog's cereal at Tesco. I'm sure you saw a 'Win a free cruise!' sticker on yours?" You asked in a professional and sickly-sweet tone.

He could see right through your scam, he had already done that. You name a famous brand, one people trust, to trick naive or impressionable ones into believing you...

Normal people would tell you they no longer have the cereal box, many of them naive enough to believe your scam despite the fact they hadn't even bought one of those boxes in the first place...

Next, you'd ask for the card used to make the purchase, and some people were dumb enough to read their number aloud to you...

Oh, how he hated scammers. Even more than telemarketers.

"I do remember seeing something like that..." He murmured, his voice deepening, before he popped another spoonful of yogurt past his lips, loudly smacking them right against the receiver of his jitterbug.

"Well, all I need is for you to get the box and read me the code that's imprinted on the inside of the flap!" You announced.

"Well, you see, I would, sweet'art... But my sight isn't so good anymore..." Simon replied. "I'm getting up there in age, you know?" He continued eating his yogurt.

"I understand, sir." You replied. "I'm sorry to hear that. One of my cousins also started losing his vision pretty early." You announced.

Huh.

There was no hint of forced sympathy in your voice.

No, you were being genuine. That was a real story of your life you were telling him...

But you had picked up on the fact he was trolling you, right? So why were you-

"Good thing though, about this system of ours, is that you can just confirm your credit card details so we can double check them and get you that prize!" You had, your tone right back to the scamming silver-tongue you had held until now.

Secretly, Simon had to admit that he admired your commitment to the bit. He couldn't help but smile a bit, amused.

"Oh, of course. Let me just set you down while I get my card." Simon replied and got up, finishing his yogurt and tossing out the plastic container, popping the spoon into the sink, and, after setting down his phone, he walked out of the room.

Simon glanced down at his wrist watch, noting the time on it, then, approached his bedroom door, grabbing his over-the-door pull-up bars, and began doing a quick set, leaving you to 'wait' for him in the kitchen.

After a few sets, he waltzed back into the kitchen and grabbed his phone again. "You still there, da'lin'?" He beckoned in a gruff tone.

You sighed, your politeness sounding slightly more forced. He had kept you waiting for over ten minutes after all. "Yes, sir, I am. Did you get your card, Mr. Wanh'a?"

"Oh, please, enough of this 'sir' thing, Mr. Wanh'a was my mother." He replied, then went silent for just a beat, almost like he could hear your frustration sizzling on he other end.

He was being more and more obvious with his trolling... And it pleased him immensely to imagine a parasite like you seething on the other end of the line, reaching your wits' end.

"You can just call me 'Ai', it's what my friends call me." Simon continued, a smirk forming on his lips. "And we're friends now, right? You're giving me a cruise and everythin'." He added, his tone just as charismatic and peppy as his had been.

"I guess we are!" You replied, returning the overly cheery tone. "So, 'Ai Wanh'a', then?" You asked, but he could hear the mix of frustration and amusement behind your voice.

"Yeah? What d'you want, babygirl?" Simon asked, unable to resist making a more impish remark. And, unfortunately, it had the desired result. It genuinely caused your brain to blue-screen for a moment.

Sure, you'd experienced plenty of people getting angry at you when you attempt to scam them, or even trolling you the same way this bloke was doing but...

It was definitely a first, to have someone flirt with you, even if it was still part of his trolling attempt.

"Your... credit card details?" You ended up adding, your voice still showing the surprise and light meekness that came from him catching you off-guard.

"Oh, of course. Are you ready? It's a very complex number." He replied.

"Ready when you are." You added as you steeled yourself for another smartass response or run around from him.

"Here it is: 1234-5678-9987-6543." He replied, reciting the numbers 1-9 in order and then backward. "And the three digits on the back are: 210."

Oh, he was so fucking annoying! He didn't get to troll you, even if it was pretty amusing of him to do so, then flirt with you, then go back to trolling.

"Sir, if you're not interested in the cruise, just say so. There's no need for this mockery." You replied, your tone serious and professional though you were definitely seething on the inside.

Simon could tell. And he reveled in it. "Oh, but I am interested!" He replied with a smirk behind his voice. "In fact, I want to know more. Will my cabin in the cruise have an ocean view?"

Simon heard you inhale aggressively on the other side of the line, steeling yourself not to hang up on him, or down right berating him on the phone. "Yes, Ai, of course!" He heard your fake cheeriness through your clenched teeth. "It'll be a luxury cabin, actually. Isn't that great?"

"No, it's not that great, actually. I get very seasick, you see?" Simon murmured. "Not to mention, ever since my pet goldfish died, I've just never been able to look at the ocean the same..." He added in a forced pitiful tone.

You went quiet again on the other side and Simon knew he had finally worn you out. He waited to hear the clicking sound of the call falling, but, instead, he just heard you let out a sigh.

"You're very frustrating." You murmured.

"Oh, my, is this how you speak to all your prize winners?" Simon gasped dramatically.

"Shut up... You didn't have to be a smartass, you know?!" You scolded him, as if you had any ground to stand on.

"No, I fear I did, sweet'art." Simon replied as he leaned casually against the kitchen counter. "You called me, interrupted my day, and wasted my time with a scam, of all things. I have every right to be a smartass and have some fun with it." He added, a smug tone obvious in the dulcets of his deep voice.

"Okay? You could've just hung up on me?" You were truly grasping at straws to justify your behaviour. It was comical.

Simon laughed dryly. "And waste an opportunity to annoy a parasitic leech like you?" He quipped.

That stunned you into silence for a moment and you couldn't help but pout a bit.

"Not to mention, what you're doing is illegal, you know that righ'? And I'm military, I could get you arrested for this." He added.

"For that, you'd need to know where I am." You retorted, maybe a bit bratilly. "Besides, I knew you were a soldier."

"And how did you know that?"

"You used the NATO phonetic alphabet while spelling 'your' name'." You replied directly. "Nobody spells 'Aiden' as 'Alpha-India-Delta-Echo-November'."

"So you knew I was military and you still went ahead with your little scam attempt? You're not that bright, are you?" He defied you, which earned him a scoff from your end.

"No, I already knew you were trolling me."

"Oh, so you just wanted to waste my time?"

"That's exactly it, Aiden."

"Sounds to me like you're just looking for trouble, da'lin'." He quipped, his voice having lowered to a gruffer tone.

Rolling your eyes, you scoffed. "Am not. I'm just enjoying myself. You're not the only one that can make jokes at people's expenses."

"No, you really are..." He tutted his tongue and shook his head. "Need I remind you you were trying to scam me, and other people?" He added in a tone that sent a shiver down your spine.

"I know what I was doing."

"Yeah? And are you proud of that? Proud of being a conniving little cunt who tries to take people's hard-earned money?" He taunted you.

You didn't reply. Of course you weren't proud. You still had a conscience! But you wouldn't tell him that. He wouldn't get the satisfaction of hearing you apologise.

"I see. You don't like what I'm saying, so you give me the silent treatment, is that it, sweet'art?" He teased. You could hear the smirk behind his words.

"I wonder if you'd still act like this if you had to face me and had to answer for yourself."

Closing your fists tight, you steel yourself again to gain some edge and reply to him. "I guess you're going to keep wondering then. Because it's not happening."

"You know, it's a shame your little computer spat out my phone number for you to call..." He trailed off.

"And why's that?"

"Because instead of anyone else, you got me... And that's just... really bad luck for you. Any other service member, you would've been fine..." He trailed off.

"What, are you some sort of General-Major-Chief thing, super high up the ladder?" You taunted.

Simon simply chuckled dryly on the other side of the line. "No. But I'm definitely the worst person you could've tried to play with."

"Oh, big scary man, what are you gonna do? Gonna come teach me a lesson?" You added, taunting him some more, clearly feeling comfortable behind your laptop, with your smartphone, sitting at home, comfortable and warm, with your pet at your feet. "Oh, I'm so scared!" You added, feigning fear in a dramatic tone.

"Is that a challenge I'm hearing, sweet'art? Inviting me to come pay you a visit?" Simon asked you, his brow cocking, despite the fact you couldn't see it.

You don't know what it was about the way he spoke. The way he said that. The way his voice sounded.

It sent a shiver down your spine, a cold sweat, like he was, for the first time, not joking around anymore.

"No...?" You murmured in reply, feeling your shoulders tensing in an unpleasant way.

"Yeah... That's an invite I'm hearing..." He disregarded what you said and chuckled. "Maybe I'll come pay you a visit then, hey? How does that sound, little leech?"

[ugh-yoongi]

hi!! i miss jin sm😭😭do u have any fic recs i could read in such a time?

hi nonnie! i also miss him very much, so i hope these fics can make you feel a lil better <3

most of these works contain mature themes/content. please heed tags and do not engage with any explicit work if you are a minor!

(also pls note i am doing this at work and we are slammed so there are a ton i've forgot. i'll come back and update this when i have a bit more time, but until then, please feel free to reblog with your own favorites!)

seokjin x reader

all you're giving me is friction by @hot-soop

last christmas by @xjoonchildx

meet me at the bar by @eoieopda

come sail away by @the-boy-meets-evil

distraction by @here2bbtstrash

taming of the bridezilla by @cinnaminsvga

play hard by @honeymoonjin

for you, anything by @gukyi

sugar by @wwilloww

aubade by @junghelioseok

on the ropes by @raplinesmoon

christmas warfare by @gimmethatagustd

i'm all yours by @sailoryooons

decent by @hamsterclaw

as always, member x member fics (aka me being namjin/yoonjin trash) under the cut!

member x member

beneath the moon by @yoongiphoria (namjin)

the restitution coefficient by @effortandmore (namjin)

these four walls (yoonjin)

look (yoonjin)

telepathy for virgins (2seok)

kkotkkoji (namjin)

beta tau sigma (namjin)

a calendar in one color (yoonjin)

salt water (namjin ft. jk)

concluding remarks (yoonjin)

breaking the soulbond (yoonjin)

somewhere you can meet me (yoonjin)

acts of service (yoonjin)

C:\PAIRINGS\YoonJin\Date_A.exe (yoonjin)

the rightish reasons (yoonjin)

local dumbass idiot helps sexy criminal and then writes sad bird poems instead of just saying Yes Seokjin I Like You Too (namjin)

easy (namjin)

and they were roommates (namjin)

a sociolinguistic analysis of epenthesis in academic convergence (namjin)

worldwide lonesome (yoonjin)

the vagabond (yoonjin)

a breach of protocol (namjin)

wish you were instead (jinmin)

everything moves on (namjin)

kim seokjin, professional miracle (yoonjin)

more walls (collected along the way) (namjin)

smile like you mean it (2seok)

bloom (jinkook)

bated breath (2seok)

cherub vice (jinkook)

imprints & magnitude (namjin)

we were written in the stars (jinmin)

two bros, chillin in the gay club (2seok)

i wouldn't know where to start (yoonjin)

inc. (yoonjin)

fake sugar (jinkook)

[universe-friday]

EXCERPT #54:

Hello. I hope somebody is listening.

[…]

My meeting with Solus. It seemed they finally decided they wanted help with the sinkhole situation. I wasn’t going to deny the request. I needed help too. This was something bigger than the both of us alone, but, we thought, perhaps together, we could do this.

I made my way back to that same decrepit building, 1508 Tomsby Street.

On my route, I passed sinkhole C. It had expanded at least 3 times in size since I last saw it. There were “VOTE INC.” posters on every single cone, barrier, and plank that was attempting to ward people away. The posters had fine print which read, “or don’t, it’s okay either way.” It is clear they still have not truly understood the concept of a campaign.

When I finally reached the building, I knocked just as I did the time before, albeit with a little more confidence, if anything.

Instead of peering through the door, Solus returned my same confidence, opening the door wide, with another one of their smirks beginning to crawl across their face.

They hurried me into the room I had seen just the other day, yet, in such a short time, it felt like everything there had shifted.

Instead of Solus’ menacing set-up, papers were scattered across all four walls, seemingly with no coordination. Yet, each paper was vigorously connected by a red string, collected under different headings such as “GOVERNMENT”, “CITY”, and “AGENCY”.

I began to question Solus where this all was… They interrupted me with the simple answer of, “fake walls”.

As I took every bit of evidence in, I noticed the most empty part of the wall. The papers with the heading, “SINKHOLES”.

As I approached the wall, I realised Solus truly was on the same level as me. All there was to occupy the wall was the same CCTV footage I monitored of the sinkholes. I recognised them all immediately – Sinkholes A to E.

It was then I realised. In the corners of each image was; A, then B, then C… And that each sinkhole had been labelled precisely the same way I labelled them.

I laughed at the coincidence and turned to face Solus to tell them the news.

But they just looked back at me… With this cold expression that drove across their face.

Staring back at me, without even a slither of humour in their tone, Solus starts to say, “Oh… I wonder why that is… Old sport…”

[...]

[ladyofthe-lake]

"And That’s a Good Thing" — a #suptober24 ficlet

Day 3: Royalty

When Bobby calls with news not of Lucifer, the archangels, or anything apocalypse-related, but instead to tell Sam that he’s got some mail for him, Sam’s confused. “How’d someone get your address?” he asks. He wouldn’t have even thought Bobby would have a mailbox, he tries to live so off the grid.

“How should I know, boy?” Bobby grouses back. “Come collect, I’m not a PO Box.”

So Sam and Dean make their way up to Bobby’s, not needing much convincing to do so, considering they feel more comfortable at his house than just about anywhere else. On the way, they argue about who will get the guest bed and who will suck it up and stay on the couch; Dean reminds him that the last time he slept on Bobby’s couch he woke up with an earful of angel, but Sam shoots back that this could’ve happened anywhere, that it has happened anywhere, Cas’s habit of appearing to watch Dean sleep becoming somewhat of a running joke for Sam and a pain in Dean’s ass.

Bobby’s knee-deep in research when they arrive, tired and bickering after the car ride, so Dean goes to raid his fridge while Sam heads to Bobby’s desk to pick up the envelope that is, indeed, addressed to him with typed lettering and a return address in Hollywood.

He slides it open with some hesitation, and Bobby gruffly chastises him, saying, “It ain’t Anthrax, Sam, just open it.”

Inside is a check for a whopping zero dollars and four cents, pay to the order of SAM WINCHESTER from THE TRX AGENCY, INC. He stares at it for a moment before Bobby grabs it from him, impatient to find out what it is.

“What the hell?” he asks in confusion, lifting it up to the lamp to peer through the paper as if it would contain some secret message.

“What is it?” Dean asks around a mouth full of food, a sandwich balanced on a plate in his hand.

“It’s a check. For four cents.” Sam’s unamused, tired.

“Well it’s about time we start getting paid out,” Dean says, coming over to snatch the check in turn from Bobby and looking at it. “The TRX Agency? The fuck is that?”

Sam takes the envelope and pulls from it another, much smaller, piece of paper. This one is handwritten. It says: Thanks for showing the world that it’s okay to have genital herpes.

“Gabriel.” Sam growls the name. But what is this, why would there be a check for a commercial that wasn’t real, something that aired only in the fake world that Gabriel had created as part of some ploy to get Sam and Dean to say yes to their respective roles?

“The fuck?” Dean peers at the paper over Sam’s shoulder and then, nearly dropping his plate in excitement, high-tails it to Bobby’s computer. It’s not just a check; it’s a royalty check. Which means…

It’s all slowly dawning on Sam as Dean finds the results he’s looking for. A blurry shot of a woman doing yoga in front of a lake starts to play and Dean rushes over to bring the laptop to Bobby.

Dean impatiently scrubs the video forward a bit to Sam’s part, and then there he is, on YouTube, in a commercial that declares it’s been airing for several months now: “I’ve got genital herpes,” says Sam on screen.

Dean and Bobby erupt into laughter, and for the rest of the evening, they take turns telling each other that Sam is doing his part to lessen the spread of genital herpes, to which the other responds with a wide grin and says, “And that’s a good thing.”

[duckapus]

Avatar Wario AU Stuff I Came Up With At Work Today

With Mario being mostly his Game Canon self with a side of Meme like Luigi is, Peach doesn't have any reason to devolve into a one-note raging bitch, and thus is in no position to be declaring Anime a public safety hazard. Instead it's set into motion by Diamond City's mayor, who was at their wit's end dealing with the WarioWare Crew's antics before Wario became the Avatar and got even worse. Objectively speaking a city-wide ban isn't as bad as a kingdom-wide ban, but it does set a concerning precedent, so it's just as vital that WarioWare and the Glitchy Gang fight it.

As I very heavily implied, in this timeline Meggy's the one who experiences Fake Sephiroth 2 Electric Boogaloo and Desti's the one who gets Zucced and turned into a Human/Octoling/Whatever hybrid.

It takes a certain type of person to willingly be around even a normal Wario long-term, let alone this one. Desti turns out to be the right type of person, while the rest of the Octo-Posse decidedly Are Not.

She actually ends up joining WarioWare Inc. after the final tournament since she likes the rest of Wario's friends and the pay's actually pretty good despite...well, you know. She does, however, still go through a similar crisis of "what do I do with my life now?"/Severe Untreated PTSD combo that Meggy did in canon, including the part about trying to go on a vacation. Not sure what she eventually decides, since I don't want to just have her become a sports coach exactly like Meggy did. She is her own person after all.

Since Mario isn't crazy stupid he didn't go through Mario's Home Alone. Instead he just found Melony somewhere and took her home because he thought a melon with a beanie was cool.

Also instead of having the same Headgear as Meggy Melony's base form has a beanie with a design based on her humanoid form's hoodie.

While Melony was Meggy's parody in SMG3's play, she ends up as Desti's anti-cast counterpart because "Melonsti" still gets "dies" during the confrontation backstage. Also Wario and Waluigi get counterparts because they were involved in two of the arcs

Since Zer0 doesn't know who the Avatar is any more than anyone else, once his eye escapes 3's Guardian Pod he has to do some research... which mostly involves bingeing 4's channel to see if it has any clues. Because of this he learns a lot about the Crew, finds out about Meggy's death, and gets a truly twisted idea.

...Yeah Meggy gets brought back to life just so she can be subjected to a heavily modified version of Axol's role in the arc. Worse, because Zer0 needs a living host he goes all Frankenstein-style on her two-years-dead waterlogged corpse and fills in the gaps with some pirate bones he found, what little was left of Francis after he got Zucced and Super Blown Up, and a bit of his own code.

As a result, she's now 50% Human, 40% Inkling, 9% Chameleon, 1% SMG, has a little fragment of Francis's soul inside her own complete one, and is possessed by/fused with an eldritch abomination.

Since he can make use of Meggy and Francis's abilities, as well as a currently limited version of his own, Zer0 doesn't need to lure Wario in by forcing E. Gadd to make a bunch of Shreks and instead just attacks WarioWare Inc. directly. He is severely underestimating Wario and his friends so this still leads to the whole bunker thing.

Melony, Mario, Desti and Axol all manage to get inside "Eldritch Fraggy" during the final rap battle, and with four of them there instead of just one they actually manage to free her.

Once she's out there's more than just the Trauma to deal with. I mean for one thing she's still part lizard and has a piece of her worst enemy living rent-free in the very core of her Self, and that has Significant Effects.

Appearance-wise she's now about as tall as Luigi, she got patches of scales on different parts of her body, including a pair of ridges along wither side of her jawline and a light scattering of tiny ones across her nose where her mask should be that kind of look like green freckles. She also has a long, semi-prehensile tail that's a lot stronger than it looks, and a long sticky tongue like a Yoshi's. And she can turn invisible.

Unfortunately having a bit of Francis in her has affected her personality, though not by very much. She now likes tech and (unfortunately) anime, though the latter is just a general appreciation rather that the full-on horrifying obsession Francis had, and she's picked up a couple of his mannerisms (the first time she realizes that she's called some cool gadget "High-Technicaaal" she nearly has an aneurism)

She's also picked up his poor eyesight, and she's in denial about needing glasses for a while.

Still decides to become a professional coach at least, because she's still mostly Meggy.

Moves in with the Mario Bros after everything blows over since she does need a place to stay, at least until she's no longer Legally Dead.

[ipostdopemusic]

Song: Overlordian Artist: Dark Time Sunshine featuring P.O.S. Year: 2012 Why it's Dope: An enchanting ambiance that feels glacial and vast, stunning chorus synths that audaciously burst through the tune's sonic landscape, vigorous percussion that aligns beautifully with the aforementioned synths, and noteworthy lyrics that are poetic and inspiringly confrontational.

[sleepingsongbird]

Alrighty so I’m finally getting around to writing some modern au One Piece fic so I figured I should probably share some background for it!

Everything is set in one giant city and I have put way too much thought into this

City is roughly split up between the “four emperors”

The Grand Line(NE-SW) is the main commercial street that runs through the center of the city where every large group has a front. It intersects Red Street(NW-SE) which divides the territories. The Hospital sits at the East corner of where the Grand line and red street intersect.

Big mom’s pastries

The Red Force bar - cocktail bar

Kids repair shop

The Amazon Lily - Boa Hancock’s strip club

Rayleigh is a legal consultant and the only piece of neutral territory on the grand line

Marinefold- the Town hall sits dead center of Red street

Lodge square - located in the center in front of city hall

Pacifista church - run by Kuma, large mega church

Etc.

The Heart territory is a couple blocks in the East side that spans from Law’s apartment to the employee entrance of the hospital

All of the Hearts work either at the hospital or the Heart Club

Hearts are highly territorial despite being in Red Hairs area

The Hearts have tattoos but no markings on their medical uniforms

The large hospital where Law works is neutral territory and pretty much every doctor/surgeon there is affiliated with a group

The white coats of the doctors each have the symbol of their affiliated group embroidered with white thread. Each major group has at least one doctor that is deemed safe to go to

Kaido is a Yakuza group and Kin'emon’s group is the remnants of the Kozuki clan that are trying to retake the territory

East side is Red Hair

Locations-

Baratie- restaurant Sanji works at and common meeting place of the Straw Hats

Water 7- Large mechanic shop, Franky uses one of the workshops there for personal projects and to repair their Van(The Sunny)

The Heart Club- A below ground nightclub owned by Law

Patty’s bar- Run by Makino and frequented by Shanks

Mihawk’s Dojo- Zoro frequently trains there

Elegia recordings - Run by Shanks and started to Publish his daughter’s music

Uta started as a streamer then starting doing live performances once her popularity grew, she is often out of the city on tour

She is a very active protester and has been arrested multiple times

Soul KIng - Music supply shop owned by brook

Brook who was a famous musician who faked his death and moved into town to avoid the publicity (still very recognizable)

The straw hats live friends style with 3 apartments on the same floor. They are the local menaces and are constant up in everyone’s business

North Side is Kaido

Locations

Onigashima- Formally called the Kozuki theater was taken over by Kaido and turned into a club. Run by Orochi but paid for by Kaido. The daughter of Oden works undercover as a dancer.

Oden restaurant - Named after the late boss of the Kozuki family is run by his friends and son, current front to the Kozuki Yakuza group

DonQuixote Inc. headquarters- Center of Doffy’s operations and front for the family

Dressrosa Casino - run by Doflamingo. Hosts fights at its arena. Formerly run by the Riku family, Viola Riku currently sits on the board.

Punk Labs- Caesar’s lab, Donquixote is their parent company. Was formally run by Vegapunk.

Cipher pol - Government intelligence. Has agents stationed in every region

-Local occult shop run by Hawkins. Perona works part time doing seances

West side is Big Mom

Locations

Germa 66 publishing company- a well known action comic publishing company owned and run by Sanji’s family

Thriller Bark - Haunted house run by Gecko Moria

Zoo - Run by a wildlife conservation group called Zou

Drum University Campus - known for its medical programs ​

South side is Whitebeard

Locations

Local Police station

Alabasta Gallery - an upscale art gallery. Formerly run by the Nefertari family has recently become a front for the Baroque Works gang run by Crocodile selling counterfeit art

The family heir Vivi is a curator trying to gain evidence to take down Crocodile and restore the Gallery to its former glory.

Museum - has previously bought works from the prestigious Alabasta gallery. Robin works as a curator and researcher there.

The yami - dive bar run by Blackbeard

The coast(East Coast)

Impel Down- High security prison located on an island off the coast

Enies Lobby- an old mansion island now used for major celebrity and political events

The big top - an amusement park and circus located on the boardwalk. Run by Buggy. Alvida runs the big top in his absence.

Buggy is the primary informant in the city and also works as a clown at the local hospital to cheer up the patients and gather information.

The Barto Club - a bar and exclusive club dedicated to the strawhats gang. Run by Bartolomeo. Invitation only.

The Polar Tang- Luxury Yacht that Is outfitted with a full medical infirmary owned by the Hearts

Outskirts

Cocoyasi orchards - citrus farm owned by Nami’s family run by Nojiko

Baltago Cafe - front for the revolutionary army, an anarchistic group opposing the government. Koala is their head barista. Militia operations run by Dragon. Sabo is a member.

Feel free to use this as inspiration or setting for any fanfic or art just tag me so I can check it out!

[zet-sway]

Fanfic: Ocean's Prayer

Or, Thane is a dom for hire.

[Read on AO3] - Rated E for EXTREMELY SPICY TIMES

Pairing: Thane/FShep | Rating: 18+ | Words: ~13000

Featuring ART by @messydiabolical!!

She reached for her omni-tool and read over Thane's proposal again. His final summary promised new experiences, intimacy so deeply indulgent that he actually warned her that her standards might be permanently rearranged. He had even included the words "fucked within an inch of your life." She could practically read it in his voice, could almost feel his weight pressing down on her, kissing his venom into her mouth. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Shepard heard a voice shout from across the bar. A pretty asari waved a lavender hand as she approached. 

“Piper! It’s so good to see you again! And look what you’ve done with your hair. It looks great!” she said as she pulled Shepard in for a tight hug. “Come sit, come sit.”

Shepard let her lead the way to a table for two and set a gift bag down, summoning a warm smile even though she felt like hell. “I was traveling on Earth and thought of you.” 

Ruby, Shepard’s date, was dressed sharply in a pretty, thigh-length dress that showed off strappy heels and a teasing amount of cleavage. Her nails were lacquered in gleaming silver with white tips, eyes wreathed in smokey makeup that complimented her markings. By all accounts, a gorgeous person. 

Even so, Shepard had little taste for this preamble.

Shepard’s name wasn’t Piper, and her date’s name was probably not Ruby. The neat little gift bag sitting on the table contained a sum of credits for the escort sitting across from her. Shepard was getting laid tonight.

She had come with glowing reviews, a promise to give Shepard a night she would remember. All Shepard wanted was to get her brains fucked out. Preferably by someone dependable, in case she wanted to hook up again in the future. Instead, she was ad-libbing false answers to questions about her life, under the pretense of “getting to know each other.”

She tried to hide her impatience - Ruby was friendly, a little sultry, and seemed genuinely interested in what she had to say, and Shepard supposed that was the draw of this kind of thing. A lot of people, she’d been told, sought a personal connection to complete the experience. The trouble was, what could she say? That she was on a life-or-death mission to save the world? 

"You mentioned you were in the reserves. Why'd you leave?"

Shepard half chuckled and half coughed. “Injured on the job,” she said with a shake of her head. 

Ruby nodded. “Sorry to hear, must've been bad if they let you out early."

Shepard downed the rest of her drink. "Bad enough that I'd rather not talk about it."

“Sounds like you’ve been through a lot,” Ruby, placing a warm hand over Shepard’s loosely clenched one. “How about we go somewhere a little quieter?”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The sex was good, at least. 

Ruby had, indeed, fucked her brains out. But as Shepard settled back into her own bed aboard the Normandy that night, she couldn’t help but feel that something was missing. Some part of her left unsatisfied in a way she had difficulty explaining. The whole affair had been such an obvious attempt to make her feel like a normal human being. And though Shepard was blessed with many skills, pretending she had 'normal problems' was not one of them.

Unable to sleep, she flicked on her omni-tool, its orange glow near blinding in the darkness, and decided to respond to her follow-up questions. Ravishing Rendezvous, Inc definitely laid it on thick. They wanted her business, and they weren’t shy about it. She settled into her pillows as she opened the questions.

On a scale of 1 to 5, how would you rate your experience?

A solid three out of five. Mood and atmosphere? Two out of five. Intimacy? Four out of five - minus one star because she really did not want someone moaning a fake name again. Ruby herself? Five out of five. 

Help us curate your next experience by answering the following yes or no questions:

More human, or less human?

Definitely less human. She had slept with humans before and she didn’t need a live visual comparison to remind her of all the weird shit going on in her own body. She had hoped an asari companion would be far enough off to satisfy her. She had only been partially right. 

More romantic, or less romantic? 

Maybe less? She wasn't sure. Romance was unfamiliar territory, but she definitely didn't want roses or chocolate or… whatever people defined as romantic in galactic space.

The next one made her raise an eyebrow. 

More masculine, or more feminine?

She hesitated, thought about choosing "no comment," but reconsidered. Masculine didn’t have to mean male - although she wasn’t opposed to the idea.  

A new question appeared on her screen.

More dominant, or more submissive?

Shepard let her arm flop back on the bed as she thought about it. Submissive would imply she wanted to take the lead. It wasn’t a bad idea, but she worried she would come on too strong. Did Ravishing Rendezvous just have the perfect individual waiting in the wings for 200+ pounds of reconstructed Alliance marine to come crashing into them? Someone who would bear the brunt of her energy while also making sure they came out satisfied too? Some people get off on this, she reminded herself. But Shepard, more so than anything, didn’t have the mental energy to place the entirety of a stranger's satisfaction in her hands - she already spent her days worrying about everyone but herself. No, she wanted someone who would take charge.

She tapped her finger on “dominant.” It seemed like a move in the right direction.

Are you interested in viewing our BDSM specialists?

Shepard blinked a few times and squinted, wanting to be sure she read the question right.

She’d been fucked roughly before, but never dominated. Never tied up or bossed around, never controlled. The idea wasn’t familiar but the potential challenge was exciting. Like dropping into combat on a planet she’d never been to and coming back covered in sweat and stinking of eezo. Or navigating all the pain and adrenaline and exhaustion of her N7 promotion - being brought low and forged anew on the other side. 

Taking a deep breath, she pressed “Yes."

What followed were a handful of questions to gauge her interests and experience, before finally displaying for her a list of names and faces. 

To say there were some interesting options was an understatement. More turians than she could count, a couple of krogan and asari, and even one or two quarians. There were a few smug-looking human men that she immediately thumbs-downed. 

One person, however, caught her attention right away.

Enter a world of fathomless pleasures…

You know him as Ocean’s Prayer, the legend behind Fornax's renowned kink publication. Thane Krios has stepped out of the shadows for a one-on-one affair you’ll never forget. With a wide range of specialties ranging from softcore bondage to your most craven fetishes, Sere Krios offers a handcrafted experience tailored to your heart's secret desires. One taste of his venom and you’ll never be the same again.

Exclusions apply. In-person consultation required. Discretion guaranteed. 

Shepard sucked in a breath, staring at the image of an emerald-colored drell with a deep crimson throat. A striking three-quarter turn portrait framed him at waist height against a black background, bright light deepening the interesting divisions that decorated his forehead, drawing her eyes to the glossy scales and velvety folds of his cheek. He wore a simple, low-cut shirt that showed off his thick arms and strong, broad chest. Even things that would have been understated on any other person were impossible to look away from because he was just so different.  Colorful and serene, but radiating a strength of confidence that Shepard desperately wished to reclaim for herself. 

And not only was he gorgeous, he also came highly recommended, and his profile was heaped with stellar ratings. 

She whistled when she saw his base fee. Fuck it. Cerberus was paying anyway. Christ, she didn’t think she’d ever seen a drell in person.

She bit her lip and sent off a contact request.  

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

His office was located on the 35th floor of Three Nerium Plaza, a skyscraper on the southern end of Nos Astra.

Shepard waited in the elevator with her hands stuffed in the pockets of her leather jacket. She’d been in all manner of stressful meetings before, but somehow even her appearance before the damn council hadn’t made her this antsy. She checked her reflection in the elevator’s mirrored back wall, straightening her jacket, unzipping it to just above the center of her chest. Should she have worn something less casual? Was it a stupid idea to reveal herself as the Commander Shepard?  This was ridiculous. She’d already fussed an inordinate amount for what was only a preliminary meeting.

The elevator opened into an underwhelming carpeted lobby, thankfully devoid of any other people. The directory led her down a series of hallways to the opaque walnut door of “T. Krios Consulting Services” - a neat little turn of phrase that could mean anything on Illium - beyond which was a waiting room, of sorts. Comfortable-looking chairs sat empty beside a wall lined with real, paper books with worn spines and interesting titles. Shepard fidgeted as she looked around the room, unsure what she expected in the first place. There was only one door, presumably leading to his office. Finally, her Omni-tool lit up with a soft ping, and she slowly opened the door. 

His voice was the first thing that hit her as she entered a stunningly minimalist corner office. 

“Good evening," he greeted with a smile, stepping out from behind a gleaming onyx desk and extending a hand. “You must be my 8 o'clock appointment.” 

She could practically feel every syllable in her bones. Wow.

“Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Krios,” she said with confidence she didn’t quite feel. His scaled palm was warm against hers, fingers gripping tight in a way that drove her heart rate just a little higher. He was shorter than she expected but possessed a larger-than-life quality in a black vest with a collared shirt beneath, the first three buttons of which were undone to arrange the material around his neck and upper chest. She couldn’t take her eyes off him. 

"Just Thane, if you don’t mind. Please, make yourself comfortable. Will you be using a pseudonym or shall I call you by the name on your contact form?"

Shepard seated herself and tried to relax. “Depends - are you recording?” 

“Never, unless you wish it,”  he said as he sat opposite her. She couldn’t help but notice he had no terminal, no pens or paper, and no datapad. Only a lamp, a steaming mug of tea, and a carafe of fresh water with a pair of empty glasses. 

"Shepard is fine. Between us only."

"Of course, Miss Shepard. Your reputation precedes you. What brings you to me this evening?"

The way he omitted the word "Commander" from his tongue had a way of putting her at ease that she didn't expect. She cleared her throat softly.

“I’m an ex-military officer involved in a sensitive operation. I’ve got some shore leave coming before we kick off, and I’m hoping to… forget about all that for a while.”

“I see. A little distraction to take the edge off,” he said with a slight nod, sitting back in his chair as though they were having the most normal conversation of all time. “I am honored. Do you have any questions about what I do?”

“Yeah, how does this work?”

“We will discuss your needs and go over necessary safety information. After our meeting, I will submit a proposal to you. Let me be clear that the proposal is not a contract, but a document over which we can agree on do’s and don’ts, must-haves, and, if you wish, an itinerary for the evening.”

Shepard raised a brow. “...if I wish?”

“Some of my more risk-averse clients like to know what’s in store. Others prefer to be… surprised.”

On impulse, she said, “Surprise me.” 

The way he smiled made her itchy with some kind of desire. 

“You may take as much time as you need to review my proposal, ask questions, and make changes as you see fit - consultation is free. Once we have come to an agreement, we will select a date and time. A deposit is required to secure your booking.”

“And this will be discreet?"

"Your privacy is my first priority, Miss Shepard."

"No recording devices?"

He gave a small smile that reached his beautiful dark eyes. 

"I have no need. My species possess eidetic memory. I assure you, whatever you say within these walls and in my studio will stay between us.”

Her brows shot up in surprise. What else didn’t she know about drell?

“If you wish, we can move on to the specifics of your needs. Tell me more about the nature of your burdens.”

Shepard took a deep breath and leaned forward. She'd thought about this. 

"When I'm on the ground team, it feels like I don't think. There's no time for worry or delay, no time for pain. It's like a veil comes down and separates me from all the things that keep me up at night. I just act."

She lowered her eyes, fixated on his hands. But Thane waited, not the slightest bit perturbed. It was almost unnerving.

“So many people put their lives in my hands without a second thought. I get so lost in the mission that the silence of my own ship is unbearable. I come back topside ready to take on the galaxy, and there’s nothing but an empty bed and a cold shower waiting for me. I’m pent up.”

Thane nodded, assessing her with those enormous black eyes. “You indicated on your dossier that you are looking for someone to lead you, but you have not endeavored to engage in submissive play before.”

She hadn’t been anywhere near as eloquent on her contact form, but that was the jist of it.

“That’s correct. Will that be a problem?”

“Not at all. Why don’t you tell me what you have in mind for your first time? There are no wrong answers; please be as plain as you feel you need to be.”

This was the part she was most nervous about. On her own ship, she made demands easily. But this wasn’t her ship, and these requests weren’t for the good of her crew or mission. Asking for such personal, intimate attention made her feel uncomfortably selfish. 

“I was sort of hoping you’d have some suggestions because I’ve only had one partner in the last four or so years. The alliance doesn't give us loads of time or space for hookups in general, much less experimenting. But I…” she sat back, propped an elbow up on the armrest, and laid her temple on her fingertips, deliberately avoiding his eyes.

“Restraints are fine. Ordering me around is also fine, as long as you don’t ask me to do something ridiculous. I can take pain, but I don’t want you to be cruel. I just want to be… acknowledged. I want someone to address my needs because heaven knows I can’t do it myself. Push my boundaries, restrain me, but don't humiliate me. I've been fighting a losing battle for years; I didn't come here to lose another one.” She forced herself to meet his gaze as though it would confirm he was listening. “Whatever you do, I want you to fuck me within an inch of my life. I want to leave here so thoroughly railed that my ship's doctor orders me on bed rest.

The way his gorgeous mouth quirked sent a brief flicker of need ghosting down her spine. Whatever his intentions, that fleeting expression told her she'd been heard loud and clear. The hard part was over. She exhaled and decided to help herself to some ice water. 

“Your request is duly noted. I have a few questions, if you don’t mind.”

“Knock yourself out.”

“Do you have any injuries I should know about? Any places on your body I should avoid?"

Shepard paused, halfway through chugging her glass.

"I'm… not sure."

Thane sat forward and folded his hands loosely on his desk. His voice was kind. "The question is for your safety, although I acknowledge the topic may be hard to discuss.”

She worked her jaw, not knowing where to begin. He knew who she was, but did he know why she was?

"I died," she said at last. And if he was surprised by this, he didn't let on. 

"What manner of trauma caused your NDE?"

Shepard shook her head. "Not a near-death experience. It’s complicated. I’m not sure which parts of me are still me."

His brow softened. "Forgive me, but have you considered seeking-"

Shepard closed her eyes and raised a hand. "Not what I came here for. If it's a deal breaker, I can leave right now - no fuss." She actually wasn't sure she wouldn't be upset, but she refused to let on. Every moment she spent doubting herself only made her feel worse. 

"Understood, Miss Shepard. We can work through any unplanned discomforts as they arise. Do you have any medications that may need to be administered as a result of your… experience?”

She shook her head. While technically untrue, her medications were ported into her via implant every several weeks. 

"I will also need an emergency contact."

She raised a brow.

“It would be unfair to expect you to account for every foreseeable risk. As a safety precaution for both of us, I cannot book your session without a contact on file."

Who in the world could she even…

"Can I get back to you on that?"

"Certainly, but please be aware that without a contact, I can only hold your booking for 48 hours."

"That's fine. I was out for two years. A lot of my contacts are… unreachable right now."

Thane smiled warmly at her. "Very well. You will have my proposal to review by sunrise. Consider it something to build on; there is no need to rush into something you aren't comfortable with."

Shepard let out a sigh of relief. "Great, looking forward to it."

“There is one more important matter to discuss.”

Shepard raised a brow as Thane reached into a drawer and produced a small vial, no larger than her little finger. 

"As you indicated in your consultation request, you have not been with a drell before, I would prefer you to establish your reaction to my species’ venom. If you find yourself to be averse to its effects, it would be ideal to know before we begin."

“So you’re saying I might be… allergic to you?” Shepard tried to temper her reaction but her face scrunched in confusion anyway. “Is this like a dextro/levo thing?”

“Not at all. Drell venom is known for its hallucinogenic properties. Many of my clients have sought me out for this reason.”

“Oh.” She took the vial and rolled it in her palm. There was maybe half a teaspoon or less of clear amber fluid inside, and it coated the glass as it moved. She stared at it dumbly, wondering in the deafening silence just how this material was extracted from the man before her. 

“I understand you are on a sensitive mission,” he said with a gentle tone. “You may refuse, of course. But in that case, I would recommend abstaining from oral contact and insemination during our session.”

She nearly choked when he said insemination, but his point was easy enough to understand. He was saying she couldn't kiss him, which seemed a damn shame given his perfectly shaped mouth. The rest of his point was… something she would be mulling over for days.

“How intense is this stuff? What should I be prepared for?” Will your semen really make me hallucinate?

“Most humans describe a dreamy state of mind, a feeling of being relaxed, and reduced inhibitions. Some report seeing enhanced colors, trails of light and sound, and heightened sensitivity. In my experience, it will occasionally make a partner more… glib.”

She looked up at him. “You have people in here getting high and spilling secrets?”

Thane gave a small quirk of his lips. “I can't say.”

“How long does it last?”

“That depends on your metabolism, but usually no more than forty-five minutes.”

After a moment's consideration, Shepard pocketed the vial. Whatever experience was waiting for her, she wanted all of it. At the very least she knew Chakwas wouldn’t breathe a word about it if she reacted badly.

Oh.

“Actually, I do have an emergency contact for you.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sure as he’d said, his proposal arrived in the early hours of the morning. Secure and alone with a coffee and a plate of Gardner’s famous “Blueberry Triangles,” she held her breath, opened the message, and began to read. 

To say this was a detailed document was an understatement. Thane had gone so far as to include definitions, clarifications, and FAQ’s alongside diagrams and lists of equipment he had at his disposal. Shepard’s sense of modesty had long since been eroded by years of enlistment, but even still, she blushed through half-clinical/half-pornographic descriptions of what people and technology were capable of in the year 2185. 

By the time she reached the end, she was already feeling a little hot under the collar. His email signature read “with pleasure." No kidding, she thought.

Over the next several days, questions, clarifications, and other caveats were exchanged before they finally settled on everything. In the meantime, she did a little research of her own. Drell venom, she'd learned, could be extracted any number of ways, but the most popular strategy was to isolate the compound from saliva or "other" bodily fluids (something she had spent ample time 'thinking about' before bed). 

Her sample vial had been sitting on her desk for days, innocuous but impossible to ignore. Based on her reading, it seemed harmless enough. But it was hard to escape the fact that it had come from his body. Why this felt different than eating out her first girlfriend, she had no idea. Maybe because her first girlfriend hadn't tied her up while she did it. 

Having just returned from a firefight on Aeia, she grabbed the vial on her way into the shower, set it on the vanity, and stared it down as she washed her hair. She’d tried hallex once a few years back, out with her unit on shore leave. It wasn’t an experience she cared to revisit. Everything she knew told her it would be a much more mild experience. After all, how could he run a successful operation if he was poisoning everyone he fucked? And boy, she wanted to fuck him.

The apprehension was getting her nowhere. Shepard squared her shoulders, cladding herself in the determination she had felt just hours earlier when she liberated the survivors of the Gernsbeck. The cold was the furthest thing from her mind when the automatic water system timed out; she opened the vial and downed every drop.

It was thick, as she expected. It had the consistency of warm honey, tasted like salty citrus, and perhaps most surprisingly, felt kind of carbonated on her tongue. There were no bubbles in the vial, she was sure, but it tingled all the way down her throat.

Shepard stood there, dripping water, skin prickling in the cold, waiting for something to happen. Five minutes went by. Nothing. No dreaminess, no reduced inhibitions, and certainly no colors. She shivered, too hard focused on the venom to move the few inches she would need to towel off.

Nothing happened.

Until she moved.

Warmth flooded her limbs the moment she reached for her towel. She opened the bathroom door to a world of new sensations. Light gleamed off her model ship collection like twinkling lights. Her fish were brilliant blurs of color against their soothing blue backdrop. On the other side of the cabin, her armor locker interface glowed like a campfire. She wasn't cold anymore, not in the slightest. She felt comfortable - relaxed, even. The tension left her shoulders the moment she flopped naked on her bed, watching the stars go by in dazzling flashes and streaks.

Oh, yeah. This was nice. 

She reached for her omni-tool and read over Thane's proposal again. His final summary promised new experiences, intimacy so deeply indulgent that he actually warned her that her standards might be permanently rearranged. He had even included the words "fucked within an inch of your life." She could practically read it in his voice, could almost feel his weight pressing down on her, kissing his venom into her mouth. 

Something hot and untamed inside her told her this man didn't make promises he couldn't keep.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Jeez Commander, you got a hot date or something?"

Shepard was jumpy with anticipation. Her inbox was empty for the first time in weeks, her crew had their assignments, and her shore leave was cleared. Nos Astra's docking bay came into view.

"What's it to you, flight lieutenant?"

"I'm just saying, you're crowding the bridge right now."

"It's my ship," she said, one hand resting on the back of Joker's chair as the ship settled into its docking clamps. Her omni-tool pinged with a preset reminder. Forty-five minutes till showtime.

"Must be nice."

"You say that like you aren't also getting shore leave." She pushed off his chair with a playful shove.

"Uh-huh. We're all getting sloshed at a bar called Chocolate Starfish, but someone isn't coming with."

"Yup," she replied, dismissive. 

"Definitely a hot date," he muttered as she made her way off the ship.

A sleek, luxury cab was waiting to take her through the heart of Nos Astra under a brutal sun. This place looked nothing like it did at night. She wondered how many other individuals in Thane's line of work had their offices and studios in the gleaming towers that crowded the city byways. 

This time, she docked at the upper taxi pavilion on the 75th floor and took the lift down to the same level as before, loosening her shoulders as though preparing for a combat drop. 

Soon enough, she stood face to face with a pair of frosted glass doors. A soft, warm light shone beyond, giving the portal a sense of ominous liminality - a transition between worlds. On one side, the world she came here to escape from. On the other, an unknown kind of pleasure awaited. Fingers wrapped around the cold stainless steel handle and she breathed deep. 

The door opened with a rush of warm air. Smooth bamboo floors led her through a new reality of warm colors and textures that, while unexpected, helped put her at ease. She followed the corridor around a short bend and entered a gorgeous room with a vaulted ceiling and floor-to-ceiling windows that overlooked Illium’s dizzying metropolis. To her left was a neatly made bed; to her right, a sofa accented with red patterned pillows, and overhead, a series of dangling artisanal incandescent bulbs.

Thane himself stood before the wall of windows with hands clasped behind his back. He was facing away from her, and from this distance, she could gauge his height and build much better than when they had met on opposite sides of his desk. From his wide shoulders and downward, to the satisfying taper of his hips and an absolutely perfect ass, he possessed a classic silhouette she found immediately enticing. 

He wore a neatly tailored cream-colored button-down, sleeves tucked neatly into themselves just above his elbows, and dark-colored pants. To her surprise, he wore no shoes and no adornments. He looked comfortable, in fact, as he turned to greet her arrival. 

“Welcome, Siha,” he said warmly. 

Shepard wondered if Siha was some kind of cultural term for submissive, but said nothing. On instinct, she straightened her back and shoulders, eyes straight ahead as he approached. Her immediate shift to full attention seemed to amuse him, because he lifted the corner of his mouth in a small smile, now just a step away from her. A hand reached across the shallow divide as he passed, settling softly on her arm. 

Shepard clung to that point of contact as he circled behind her, stroking up and down her arms and shoulders, squeezing and releasing each muscle. 

“At ease, soldier.” 

Beneath his chaste touch, everything seemed clearer than before. His words took her back to a simpler time, back to when expectations had been heaped upon her, but they were clear, easy to identify, and even easier to obey. Demands that didn't require her to perform the impossible or weigh the worth of her entire species.

“Within these walls, your purpose is to serve me. Until sunset, you will address me as 'Sir.' Please me, and I will reward you. Disappoint me, and you may find yourself reprimanded.”

He paused. She knew what to do.

"Yes sir."

It didn't matter if he meant to threaten or intimidate her. No, when Thane spoke to her this way, she felt relieved, reminded that he was here to do the thinking for her. Shepard exhaled a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding, and he made a small sound of approval. 

“Tell me your safe words.”

“Cherry for stop, sir. Kiwi for pause.” 

His hands smoothed over her lower back and hips. “And if you find yourself unable to speak?”

“Two taps, sir, with hands or feet.”

“Good, Siha.” 

His touch lingered on her like a phantom as he withdrew and circled around to stand two paces before her. 

“Please undress.” 

Despite having been in various states of undress in front of other soldiers many times, this was altogether different. Thane was not shy about the way he assessed her, making no attempt to avert his eyes, although his expression remained neutral. Her shirt came off first, and she looked to him when she realized she didn’t know what to do with it. His expression betrayed nothing, so she elected to fold it quickly and place it on the ground beside her feet. 

Her boots and socks came off next, and then her pants. Each time she looked at him, he did not react, and so she continued, unhooking her bra. The cool air helped distract her from the color rising to her cheeks.

When she reached her panties, he took a step forward. “That’s enough. Place your feet three inches apart.” 

An oddly specific order, but easy enough to follow. Not knowing what to do with her hands, she settled into parade rest, palms out and overlapping against her backside.

Thane collected her pile of clothing and placed it somewhere by the door. Her skin prickled, whether due to temperature or anticipation, she couldn't tell. When he returned, he touched her shoulder again, this time with much more care. His scaled fingers traced a glowing scar. 

“Does this cause you pain, Siha?”

“No sir."

“I admit I've never seen anything like this before. Do not hesitate to tell me if they cause you distress.”

Shepard took a deep breath. Reading people had never been her strong suit, but she understood what he was saying. Somehow, it was more comforting than isolating. It felt like he cared. 

“Yes sir,” she confirmed, perhaps softer than she intended.

For a moment, he continued to wander, and although his touch was chaste, she felt her body stir beneath his eyes and hands. Trust was a frail vine, sun-seeking, crawling from the remains of her damaged ego. Something about him was calming in a way that felt disarming. She wanted him to touch her, badly enough that she didn’t flinch when he began to dress her with a length of rope.

This time, he was less chaste. He allowed his hands to brush along her curves as he worked, warm scales pressing into soft flesh, crisscrossing the valley between her breasts in a way that framed them prominently to his attention. Heat collected along the lines he traced across her bare skin, the rope creating a sort of harness around her torso. She bit her lip when he finished his work and circled behind her without further contact.

Her arms were next. Another length of cord slipped beneath her biceps, drawing them behind her. The position pulled her shoulders back, elbows some inches apart in their bindings as he continued, forcing her chest into the bright strokes of sunlight pouring through the windows. Her forearms followed, and then her wrists, palms folding together. There was a firm tug as he secured a knot above her hands. 

Shepard flexed in her restraints, testing her range of motion. He had given her enough space that her arms could slide together, but not comfortably. 

"Too tight?" He asked. 

"No. -no sir."

Strong hands settled on her hips, textured hands dragging across her skin as he circled her, either inspecting his work or her body - probably both.

“Now then, where to begin?” he said as he came to a stop before her. Her skin tingled in his wake, absorbing the heat of his touch, and she sighed as his palms smoothed over her breasts. He seemed pleased by her reaction. “Perhaps here. As you know, my species does not possess such anatomy.”

He continued to touch her, capturing her nipples in the spaces between his fingers. 

“Feels good,” she sighed, and he immediately withdrew, knocking her right breast with an open palm. “Sir-” she corrected. “It feels good, sir.”

“Very good, Siha.” His hands returned, taking each of her nipples between his fingertips. “Shall we test the range of your sensitivity?”

“Y-yes,” He applied firmer pressure. Her eyes slid closed and she groaned. “Just like that.” 

This time, he made a show of gripping her jaw firmly in one hand as he tugged on her breast with the other. Whatever lack of focus she had before was banished in an instant. His reaction was even more arousing than his touch - the way he did not hesitate to remind her of the rules of their game. 

“I will not warn you again,” he said.

“-sir,” she gasped, pushing her chest eagerly into his hands. 

He made a low sound, slowly twisting his fingers. The feeling was electric, bordering just on the edge of pain. If this was how the entire night was going to be, she was sure she wouldn’t survive. He continued to touch her, alternating between massaging and tweaking her breasts as she writhed in her restraints, kindling the needful heat growing inside her. 

One hand fell between them, wedging between her tightly pressed thighs. His voice made her ache when he pulled himself close and said "Open your legs, Siha."

She complied immediately, widening her stance. His fingertips traced her seam through her panties, forcing the fabric between her lips and rubbing a slow, firm line up and down her cunt. She felt rather than heard his low purr of approval. “Already soaking wet?"

"Yes sir," she breathed. 

Her breath caught in her throat as he lowered his head and touched his lips to the center of her chest, roaming hands pushing up on her breasts to bring them nearer to his face, nearer to his mouth.

Plush lips pushed against the sensitive tip of one breast and then moved to the other. He had been handling her for scarcely two minutes and already had proved himself more adept than any lover she'd ever known. She tensed, every pleasure center on her body yearning for the promise of his hot mouth. 

“Look at me,” he said softly. 

Her eyes lowered to his; enormous, dark, and somehow possessing a manner of depth she had never seen in any species before. Light from the windows illuminated the irises beneath his dark sclera, the same color as the fine scales adorning his cheeks. It felt like he could see past every lie she told herself, every fabrication she’d ever hidden behind. Good christ, if he already had her halfway to ruined, what the hell was he going to do to her for the rest of the night?

His mouth ghosted across her skin as he said, “Tell me what you want, Siha.”

She had to blink to regain herself. His mouth was right there, but rather than be direct, she attempted to appeal to his position. “Your mouth, sir," she said, before adding meekly, "...if it would please you, sir.”

The sound he made was all the reward she needed; a deep, satisfied thrum of arousal that made his crimson cheeks flutter. 

His mouth finally closed around the tip of her breast, tongue stroking long and firm across the sensitive peak. She couldn’t help the low moan that left her, every pass of his tongue like fire licking her spine. She squirmed, and he moved to her other breast, tonguing her nipple as he rolled the first between his fingers. The feeling was white-hot torment between her parted thighs, pressure screaming to be relieved. She wondered if she could climax off this alone, stumbling with the effort to maintain her balance as he tore her apart with devastating effect. 

“Fuck-” Her thighs came together, desperate for relief as she begged “Please-”

A second later, his touch vanished, and her heart dropped. She let out a strangled whine of frustration and stumbled as she reached for him only to be reminded that her hands were immobile.

“Disobedient,” Thane deadpanned, straightening himself to face her. “And to think how close you were.”

“Please, sir-”

“Hush, Siha. Allow me to help you remember yourself.” He soothed a thumb across her cheek before stepping away out of her line of sight, leaving her to wonder what he had in store.

His footsteps were nearly silent as he moved through the room behind her. She heard a drawer open, followed by the sound of softly clinking metal. Moments later, she felt his touch on her hands, trailing a line up her bound arms and between her shoulder blades. Something that felt like leather brushed the nape of her neck and she tensed, adrenaline igniting her blood as she prepared herself for what she imagined was a whip or a crop or-

“I have a request,” he said. “Something I would like you to wear for me.”

It didn't matter that she didn't know what it was. She agreed without hesitation.

“This is a collar,” he said as the cool leather encircled her neck. “May I?”

Shepard breathed a relieved “Yes sir.”

His voice was kind when he said, “Thank you." The material settled against her skin, not as tight as she expected. A gentle tension passed quickly as he secured the buckle. Although she could not see it, she could feel the cold press of some kind of metal against the front of her throat. 

He departed again for only a moment, and returned to face her. He placed something soft on the ground between them. When he spoke, his voice was low and tenebrous. 

“On your knees, Siha"

She sank slowly, trembling with the effort to maintain her balance. Hell or high water, she was determined not to disappoint him again. Her knees sank into the cushion he so kindly provided, and after some effort, he brought a gentle hand to her jaw. 

"Good girl," he murmured, stroking her cheek. 

Shepard wasn't prepared for the heat that rose to her face - and between her legs - at his words. They filled her with a kind of pride and lust that she hardly recognized, flooding her with yearning. 

"Are you familiar with meditation?" He said as he began to undo his belt with all the nonchalance in the world. 

Her breathing quickened. Words felt flimsy in her mouth. "I've never tried it, sir." 

"The practice is meant to achieve clarity of mind," he continued. "You may begin by focusing on your breathing.”

His fly dropped and his cock came free, a stiff and gleaming shock of fuschia against his pale green belly.

Yes, a deep breath was what she needed right now. His size was intimidating. Thane seemed to give her a moment to admire him, aware from their conversations that she had never slept with a drell before. Were they all so colorful and endowed? 

"Feel your breath," he said softly. He drew close, a hand beneath her chin pulling her gaze up the length of his body. “Center yourself on the here and now. There is nothing but you and I.”

Inhale.

He touched her hair. She could feel the heat radiating from his thick, ridged length as he held her gaze.

"I will give you everything, Siha. Do you trust me?”

Exhale.

"Yes, sir," she whispered.  

There was a warm hand on the back of her skull. 

"Breathe deep. Open your mouth. Taste."

Compliance poured from her without question, lips parting at his command. He laid the tip against her tongue as she looked up at him through errant strands of hair, waiting and ready for him to slide himself into her throat. 

"Be reminded that you may hallucinate." 

In that moment it was clear why he had insisted she dose herself beforehand. One way or another, he was already on her tongue, the faint citric flavor of him already calling her attention. She pushed her tongue against his tapered head, gauging his reaction. She wanted to see him as lost as he had made her, wanted to hear whatever deep, delicious sounds his rich baritone voice might produce. Unable to speak, she settled simply for a small nod of acknowledgment. His smile could have melted her. 

Slowly, he pushed himself into her throat. 

He was overwhelming in the most exquisite way. Bound and on her knees, she couldn't do much but take the intrusion as he seated himself so deep in her throat that her eyes nearly watered. The sound he made was soft and low, sinking through the cracks in her mind like water in the desert. He pulled his hips back, combed through her hair with elegant green fingers before grasping a fistful near the back of her skull, pulling her back into him. She let out a low groan of satisfaction as they both worked her mouth on and off of his sizable length. She had no idea where he would be most sensitive, but he seemed to take no issue with the way she swiped her tongue hard over the underside of his shaft and hollowed her cheeks. 

The hallucinations began quiet and slow. Her skin warmed, her mouth tingled, and when she opened her eyes (when had she closed them?) his scales glimmered like soft, iridescent stars. 

High above her, Thane's mouth hung just slightly open, his eyes hazy, free hand hanging limply by his side as he used her mouth. She found a pronounced cluster of ridges near the root of him and drove her tongue against it, rewarded at last with a guttural sigh and softening brow. 

"Your throat is a paradise, Siha," he panted, quickening his pace ever so slightly. "So good, so tight.”

The heat inside her was tethered to his words, a fire that burned hotter every time he praised her. She moaned around his length, pushing against him with her tongue, sucking him with abandon. He fucked her mouth until her jaw ached, the panties still wedged in her cunt burning against her clit. She wanted his climax like she wanted her own. Wanted to know if he would taste like the sun and zest he radiated before she drowned in the ocean of her own unsatiated lust, desperate for whatever he deemed her worthy of. 

She heard his breath catch in his throat, and that was all the warning he got before he shoved her head onto his cock. He pushed so deep that saliva hissed out the corners of her lips before he stopped, trembled, and came on a whisper-quiet breath. Liquid heat flooded her mouth, pulsing, thick and hot, coating her throat and warming her all the way down with a glittering sensation she couldn't hope to describe. His hand fell away from her hair but she was loathe to release him, sputtering as she hummed around his length. She drank him back until he pulled away and his cock fell heavily from her mouth. 

That sweet, sweet high settled over her. Oblivious to the thin tendril of saliva and cum that dangled from her wet lips, she rested her cheek against his thigh as he closed his pants over his retracting length. And then he was kneeling beside her, holding her as she caught her breath, murmuring soft praises as he used his thumb to trace her lower lip and push what remained of his spend back onto her tongue. The flavor spread into the hollows of her cheeks like rich, warm oil as she worked her jaw closed.

A hand brushed her hair from her eyes. His forehead pressed against hers.

"Lovely," he breathed, voice like silk against her cheek. "You are a gift, Siha.”

Shepard couldn't help but smile dumbly at him, thighs tensing in anticipation. She felt warm all over, dizzy and swaying with need as he helped her to her feet. 

“How are you feeling?” He asked, holding her steady. 

“A… a little high, sir.”

She watched one of his brow ridges rise as his lips quirked in amusement. The more she looked at him, the more beautiful he seemed to become.

"A good high, I hope?"

“Sir, it feels perfect.”

His eyes seemed lit from within as he smiled.

She allowed herself to be led over to the sofa, where he seated himself and reached for her hips and turned her away from him. Steady hands closed over hers, fingertips slipping beneath her bindings, loosening the knot and securing it again such that it released some, but not all of the tension in her shoulders. There was a brief pause, and then without preamble, he hooked his fingers into her panties and slid them down her legs. 

Shepard tried not to squirm. She loved where this was going.

“Please sit, Siha,” he said, patting his thigh. 

No sooner had she lowered herself toward him, his arms came up to circle her waist and pull her into his chest. They were skin to scale now, his shirt apparently having been opened at some point prior. Her eyes slid closed, the warmth of his smooth scales at her back giving her a feeling of security as he adjusted her position until her thighs fell open on either side of his.

"You have a new rule," he whispered against her ear. Shepard bit her lip in anticipation. "You must ask for permission to come. Will you do that for me?"

Shepard nodded, too high to remember herself, and jumped when he tapped her clit with three fingers. 

"Use your words.” 

Her head fell back against his shoulder. "Yes, sir."

For god’s sake, he didn't hesitate. She nearly sobbed as he soaked his fingertips in her wetness, tensing in his arms. It felt like heaven - like she could come right then and there - but she steeled herself. One finger gathered her slick arousal and began to circle her aching clit, teasing with a featherlight touch. She groaned as his other hand palmed her breast. The soft pressure was hypnotic, paired with the glittering sensation of his scaled fingertips between her legs. His breath against her cheek was a radiant, rippling mirage on the horizon of her lust. 

Slowly - so, so slowly, he pressed his finger against her wet opening and dragged it upwards, over her pearl. The jump in sensation made her gasp, but he did not reprimand her. If anything he only pulled her tighter against him, repeating the motion once, twice, and again, until she was writhing in his arms, biting her lip to stem the tide of her oncoming climax. That single, relentless motion tore her mind down minute by minute until her entire cunt burned bright with the desperate need for release. 

"Please," she gasped. "Please sir, may I come?"

He twisted a nipple in reply, his other hand slipping a finger into her opening. 

"So soon, Siha?” 

She whined, not sure how much she could take, but desperate now not to disappoint him. "It feels so good, sir."

"I'm glad my touch pleases you so," he murmured, pulling his finger from her depths and letting the connecting thread of sickness draw taut and snap in a cool, bright lash against her sensitive skin. "A fitting reason to continue, I think."

"I’m so close, sir-"

"I don't think you're nearly close enough.” He entered her again with his joined fingers. "I know you can take it, Siha. Let me hear all the beautiful sounds you make for me." 

He used his thumb to tease her clit as he curled his fingers inside her and sent a blinding flash of pleasure rocketing up her spine. She grit her teeth. 

"D- does it please you to deny me, sir?"

"Oh, Siha, I am deeply satisfied by the way you writhe in my arms."

She whined, trying to pinch her thighs shut to stem the tide of sensation, but it was impossible. He held her too tightly, scaled thumb rasping with delicious, sanguine friction against her slick center. She moaned when she realized he was hard again, his cock pressing into her backside. The thought that she was separated from him by nothing but a godforsaken pair of pants made her feel stupid with need, desperate to know how he would feel buried deep inside her. Her spine bowed, hips bucking against his hand as she released a strangled, pathetic cry of frustration.

"I know, my angel," he crooned, lust coloring his voice. "You can take it. Just a little longer." 

He was moving with her now, grinding himself up into her ass as he speared his fingers in and out of her open cunt. She squeezed her eyes shut, unable to watch the way he touched her without the risk of falling over the edge. 

"Twenty seconds," he said. Shepard heaved a breath and grit her teeth, counting down in her head. Twenty seconds could pass in seconds on the battlefield. Beneath his hands, it was a nearly unbearable amount of time.

"Ten seconds."

The world was nothing but heat and sensation, her cunt burning like a drive core after a firefight, suffused with the incredible pressure of oncoming release. Thane latched his fingers around her nipple and she sobbed out with need, her spine bowing away from his back, arms and shoulders rigid with effort.

"Five."

The sound that built in her chest was a guttural, frustrated whine born of raw effort. It hissed out through clenched teeth. His fingers hilted in her channel and she swore she could feel every scale that passed through her opening. Just a few seconds-

"Two."

All the control in the world couldn't stop her. She felt the first straining pulse of release and knew she was doomed. Her climax reached up through her belly like a beast, squeezing along her spine and enveloping every nerve in her body in a screaming flood of ecstasy. She shuddered, unable even to hear her own voice as she tumbled through the wave he'd built upon her, chest heaving, straining against her bonds. Finally, all that remained of her breath was a choked-out moan.

She was spent. Somewhere far off in the back of her mind, she was aware she had broken the rules, but his disappointment seemed like a distant, irrelevant thing. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight, velvet-soft cheek pressed to hers. 

"Breathe with me," he said against her skin. "Breathe."

She could feel how wet she still was; his fingers were the only thing stemming the flow of her own arousal, buried and unmoving inside her. Her shoulders ached, but her body burned, the fog and fatigue of climax at war with the raging desire to be filled, ravaged, and claimed by the part of him pressing hard and hot against her ass. Thane, unconcerned with his own state of need, was still as stone as he continued to chant softly against her, "Breathe, breathe."

She couldn't say how long it took to gain control, but with his body warm at her back, she slowly drifted back to reality until they breathed as one. When she opened her eyes, color bloomed around the golden lights hanging above.  It struck her that this man was still a total stranger to her, but here she was, perhaps the most vulnerable she had ever been since she'd woken up on that Cerberus recovery table. 

When he finally moved, the shift of his scales against her was electric.

"Can you stand, Siha?"

The words felt like wind in her hair; a soothing brilliance, far too fast to catch. He shifted her into a more upright position until her feet touched the floor. 

"...what?" She asked dreamily. Were his floors heated?

Plush lips touched the side of her neck, breath warm on her skin as he asked again with infinite patience, "Can you stand on your own?"

Standing. Right. She wasn't sure she could. How did he know she wasn't sure? All the multitudes of times she'd been knocked on her ass in basic, in N school- no one had ever asked her if she could stand on her own. They'd scarcely asked her if she'd been hurt. 

His hands held fast to her hips. With a shaky breath, she blinked her eyes against the hazy afterglow and straightened her back, stretching into a more comfortable stance. She felt her weight settle on her feet. 

"I… I think so, sir." 

He gave her hips a reassuring squeeze, and something in her heart leapt.  

"Very good."

They walked slowly to the other side of the room. He led her to the edge of the bed and encouraged her to sit. 

"You came two seconds too early, my angel," Thane said as he began to work the ropes around her wrists and forearms. 

Her cheeks flushed. "I'm sorry, sir."

Thane only hummed in consideration as he worked. 

"You were magnificent at your peak, Siha. I will forgive this misstep." Her shoulders sagged in relief, his words like a balm on her heart. "However, it would behoove you to remember who you serve." 

"Yes, sir."

Her elbows suddenly came free, releasing the tension in her shoulders with a rush. Her hands tingled as blood returned to them. Thane adjusted the remaining cords around her chest but otherwise left them in place. As she sat, he moved in front of her and placed a bottle of water in her hands, from which she drank gratefully. He then began to rub her unbound limbs, drawing a breathy sigh from her. His hands - Jesus, his hands were a damn miracle. She hadn't even noticed how much her shoulders had ached, flexing them beneath his soothing touch. 

When he arrived at her wrists, he squeezed gently before reaching beside her and producing a pair of smooth leather cuffs linked by a small clasp.

Her eyes wandered as he worked, following the lines of his fingers toward wide palms, the elegant taper of his wrist, and upward along his strong arms. His shirt was now fully open, and she could see the wide, verdant stripes that flowed over his shoulders, leading her eye to all the other interesting features of his body.

The question rose from her before she could stop it, her fingers reaching before the words had left her mouth.

"May I touch you, sir?"

He looked at her then, and she steeled herself for a reprimand, but there was only kindness in his eyes. He raised her cuffed hands and placed her palms on his chest. 

Shepard couldn't help her dumb smile, flattening her hands against smooth, warm scales. There was a surprising softness to them, no resistance as she swiped a thumb over one of the errant dark scales that dusted his body, not unlike her own freckles. 

"Is my body pleasing to you, Siha?"

"Yes," she answered breathily, adding the obligatory "-sir," before he could acknowledge its absence. 

She traced one of the curious lines of crimson that ran beneath each of his pectorals, rewarded with a soft sound that she not only heard but felt beneath her hands. He’s sensitive here, she realized, repeating the motion with a firmer touch. His reaction, though reserved, was not lost on her. She wanted more of him, wandering downward to trace the diamond-shaped patterns decorating his pale green abdomen, and further still to more crimson frills peeking out from the top of his pants. He didn’t have nipples as a human would, but he did have a belly button, which amused her. And awkward though it was with her hands bound, he seemed pleased at her interest. 

Rather than removing her hands, he simply rose and moved away when he'd had enough. He gave her a small, soft smile as he said, "Wait here, Siha." 

She blinked as he paced away and disappeared behind a closet door. The euphoria of his venom left her in a relaxed, contented state, overtaken by the memory of the spectacular climax he had given her. She was certain no one had ever brought her off with just their hands before. And though her release had been powerful, it had done little to stifle the need gnawing at the edges of her mind. Her blood stirred with the thought of what he might do next. 

Finally, he returned, kissing the crown of her head. He placed a nondescript box by her feet.

"Please stand, Siha,” he said. “Spread your legs, and bend over."

She did as he asked, eagerly bracing her palms on the edge of the bed as she bent over and presented herself to him. Venom swimming in her veins, she wondered how much of her mind was still her own. If there was anything left, it has long since taken up residence in her pelvis.

Thane laid a palm at the base of her spine. Something slick prodded at her weeping cunt, and then she gasped as his fingers slid inside her. He gave two or three slow thrusts before withdrawing and dragging her abundant arousal to the tight bud of her asshole. She moaned in surprise as he pressed against her with one finger, rubbing in firm circles. They had agreed on no anal sex, but play was not off the table.

"When was the last time someone touched you like this?"

"I.. it was a long time ago, sir." She peeked back over her shoulder to find him watching her, rubbing her lower back with his free hand. 

“We will go slowly. Remember your safewords.” 

In this state, it was so easy to trust him. He slowly pushed a slick finger past her tight hole, feeling the stretch and burn as he entered her.

He reached for something with his free hand, and what it was, she couldn't quite see. As he worked her ass, he introduced the rigid shape of it to the seam of her cunt and eased it inside. It was wide but not long, a rounded plump thing that he let slip out into his palm before pushing it back in, over and over again. 

A plug, she realized. He was going to plug her. The idea that he planned to fill both of her holes made her head spin. 

His finger slipped out of her ass, and more slickness followed. She felt his fused fingers at her rim and grunted as they breached her. In moments he was building a rhythm, matching the pace of each hand as he began to fuck both of her holes. The feeling was incredible, whatever slight burn she may have felt quickly dissolving into warmth as he worked her.  She closed her eyes and let herself fall against the jasmine-scented sheets, pushing her hips back into his hands. 

"How does that feel?"

"It’s good, sir,” she breathed. 

And then the plug was at her entrance, pushing slowly, opening her with a delicious burning stretch that took her breath away. Deeper it went, stretching and pushing until the bulk of it popped inside her and the flared base settled with a soft tap against her hole. Thane gave it a few taps for good measure, and she couldn't help but moan into the bedspread. 

He stepped away for a moment, and she adjusted her stance, flexing and working her hips against the air with unshielded need. The plug’s modest volume put pressure against the inner walls of her cunt, and that hint of stimulation was driving her crazy. 

She searched for him over her shoulder until he finally returned, toweling off his freshly washed hands. 

"Now then, I seem to recall a discussion about pushing your boundaries.”

Thane squeezed her ass with both hands. Her need flared at the suggestion alone. 

“I think a few spanks would do well to remind you who you serve.” He teased her wet slit with his fingertips and gave her ass a light and playful slap, rumbling with desire when let out a quiet gasp. “Are you ready for that, Siha?"

Her cheeks burned and her thighs tensed as she said, "Yes sir, I'm ready."

She could hear the smile in his voice as he responded, "Very well. You will tell me if you become distressed." He caressed the curve of her backside with a warm palm. "Count to ten," he said. And that was all the warning she got before the first spank landed. 

It wasn’t forceful, but it jolted her anyway. His palm bounced on the left side of her ass in an upward motion. The sting was near imperceptible, but the intent was clear. She gasped involuntarily.

A few short seconds passed as he rasped her clit with near-threatening softness. And then the second hit landed on her opposite cheek. 

"I said, count, Siha."

"T- two, sir."

His hand impacted her left cheek again, and she gasped out, "Three, sir."

"You may drop my honorific for the moment." 

She nodded against the sheets, her eyes squeezed shut somewhere between arousal and a vague feeling that touched the edges of embarrassment.

Another spank on her right side. Now that she was warmed up, she welcomed the calidity blooming across her backside, slithering into all the little nerve endings that lined her empty, needy cunt.   

"Four."

He continued on, and she counted three seconds between each blow. By the time he hit six, she understood why his strikes were soft. The heat built over her skin in layers, each strike seeming to add to the next until she cried out against the indescribable waves of sensation rocketing through her.

"Seven," she gasped through gritted teeth. 

By eight, her ass felt hot in the wake of each blow. Her body was propelled forward in anticipation each time his hand came down, and she relished the electric feeling of her breasts dragging against the bedspread. By nine, she already knew she would miss this when it was over.

The last hit fell against her right cheek. She gasped “Ten,” and he relented.

Shepard sagged against the bed, flinching as he smoothed both palms over her sensitive backside, pushing the lingering burn into her flesh. The feeling sang through her veins. 

"I love the way your skin blushes beneath my touch," he murmured, nudging a knuckle against the plug buried in her ass. His fingers then slid - blessedly - back into her cunt, curling right against the part of her that made stars bloom behind her closed eyes.

"Open your hands, Siha," he ordered. 

She didn't know what for, but she complied, extending her bound hands across the sheets beneath her until her weight settled on her shoulders. A long, smooth implement was pushed into her palm and she closed her fingers around it as he adjusted its position such that the firm end of it settled against her clit. She leveraged it immediately, snuggling her cunt up to whatever blessed source of friction he had just endowed her with.

"Remember the rules, Siha,” he purred. “You wouldn't disappoint me a second time, would you?"

Cheek pressed against the bed, she nodded. "I promise, sir." 

The device hummed to life, a powerful vibration that made her shiver. Shepard let out a low moan.

"Good girl. Count to ten."

And then he pulled back and spanked her again.

The blow was no more powerful than before. She felt her ass jiggle on impact, too distracted and overwhelmed to care. 

"One." She groaned, voice muffled by the sheets. He brought a hand to her hair, forcibly turning her head to the side so as to hear her clearly. The second strike came, and the impact rushed in a wave across her entire body. "Two."

Pleasure and pain melded together like hot wax. Shepard panted, cheek smushed against the bed as he paused again and smoothed a hand over her reddened flesh. Pressure gathered between her spread thighs, her empty cunt clenching in desperation. She wanted more, bucking against his hand. 

Her voice was hoarse when she said, "Please don’t stop." 

He obliged, another three strikes raining down on her like the kiss of god. 

"Can I come, sir?"

He pushed two fingers into her cunt and wedged his thumb hard against her plug as though to contemplate her request. With her hands at the wheel of her own pleasure, her building climax was much easier to control. Even still, his seeking fingers drove her crazy, so desperate to be fucked she could scarcely think of anything else. 

"At ten, you may come for me."

"Thank you sir," she sobbed. He spanked her again.

Six. The feeling was a golden flash of light behind her eyes.

Seven. His fingers skimmed the soaking furrow of her cunt. Shepard let out a whine as he withdrew, grinding against the powerful motor between her thighs.

Eight. Her climax threatened to overwhelm her. She managed to lift her hips away from the vibrator seconds before it was too late, crying out against the raging push and pull of sensations overwhelming her.

Nine. She writhed against the bed, knees wobbling. Thane wrapped an arm around her belly and held strong as he kissed her spine, sending a chill throughout her entire body as she waited on the vicious precipice of the final blow and the sweet release it promised. 

Ten. 

She couldn't tell if it was harder than the rest. She came the second his hand landed, climax overpowering her so fast it forced the breath from her lungs. Light burst behind her eyes, white hot waves washing over every part of her as Thane stuffed his fingers into her pulsing cunt and fucked her through each rippling convulsion until she collapsed, panting and spent. The wand hit the ground with a loud thump. And then he was releasing her wrists, gently maneuvering her into a more comfortable position on the bed. 

She let out a feeble groan as he began to soothe her skin with cooling medi-gel. Worked up as she was, the texture of his fingertips was overwhelming in the most exquisite way; the only reality she could comprehend were his hands on her, the soft sheets beneath her, and the raging void inside her begging to be filled. 

“Tell me your heart’s desire, my angel,” he said, drawing his hand up the inside of her thigh. “What would you ask of me?”

Her head was swimming. Shepard clenched her teeth and made an incoherent sound "I want you to fuck me, sir.”

Thane coaxed her onto her back and she watched as though through a fog as he tugged on his belt. His scales gleamed in the low light of Illium’s setting sun. 

“Tell me again." he rasped.

His pants hit the floor and he began to stroke himself with hunger in his eyes that foretold the hurricane he was about to unleash, full lips parted with a breathy sigh as he squeezed, smoothing his natural fluid from root to tip. Shepard drank him in - every sound, every flutter of his eyelids, feeling for one second that she had regained some intangible thing from all of this, the trust and vulnerability that he gave and cultivated without reservation. She swore she’d never wanted anyone so badly in her life. 

“Please," she begged. Her own voice was thick in her mouth as she opened her thighs and spread her cunt with desperate need, open and empty and soaked with desire. "Ruin me, Thane.”

The sound he made rumbled like thunder on the horizon, and then his hands were on her, dragging her bodily to the edge of the bed and spreading her wide. Her ass chafed against the sheets, breath caught in her lungs as he laid his tip against her oversensitive clit and flames erupted under her skin. Where this was going, she was certain she wouldn't survive. 

"Who do you serve?"

"You, sir." She felt him at her entrance, and all thoughts fled her mind. "I serve you."

Time was immaterial. There was nothing but the stretch, the push, and the heat of him as he split her open with his gorgeous meaty prick. Her plugged ass pulsed as he filled her. Chills rushed over her in waves and she sobbed out her pleasure, gripping the sheets beneath her. 

"That's it, Siha," he crooned, stroking both thumbs up the sides of her wide open cunt. "Take all of me." 

Thane gripped tight to the meat of her thighs, pulling their hips flush. She was so full, fucking full that she scarcely had the space for thought. 

And then he fisted one hand in the ropes at her chest and moved. 

His strength took her breath away. Unable to do more than take what he gave, she gasped out sounds she didn’t recognize as her own as he began to fuck her in earnest. His grip was sure to bruise but she didn't care. Her pulse pounded in time with each echoing slap of his hips against hers, rapidly overwriting reality with unending shocks of pleasure as he filled her again and again. Absolutely no one had ever fucked her like he did.

And when he brought that vibrating wand to her clit, he didn't even wait for her to ask. 

"Come for me, Siha."

Shepard came like she was purpose-built to climax at his command. She shuddered violently beneath the unrelenting motor, voice breaking around the cry of ecstasy that forced itself from her throat. The sheets came apart beneath her gripping fingers as her limbs locked up against the assault on her senses.

"Again," he ordered, shoving her straight into overstimulation.

Thane held her thighs wide open as she thrashed, his strength too much for her to beat back without stopping him entirely. Her orgasm crawled from beneath her skin like a demon, clawing at her the whole way out.

"Once more, Siha,” he panted.

She couldn't- It was too much- She opened her mouth to tell him off but he bent over her, trapping the vibrator between them as he rasped into her ear, “For me, Shepard. I want you to come for me."

The sound that left her wasn't human any longer. Her back arched off the bed as though pulled by a force beyond her comprehension. She finally came one last time, the force of her orgasm sending her to heaven and hell and back again. With whatever remaining shred of rationality she possessed, she ripped the wand from his hands and flung it away.

And then there was only him. His hands on her body, his cock packed inside her, his hips hammering her soul from her body. He fucked her so hard, so completely, with such devastating demand that she was sure she would never be fit for duty again. Whatever world she had served before didn't hold a candle to the cataclysmic pleasure he gave her. Her eyes rolled back, and she could see the infinity between stars. 

Shepard groaned as he pushed deep, caging her between his arms and gripping her by the hair as he pulled her head back, his lips frantic and clumsy on her neck, her jaw, and finally, her mouth. She tasted the citric burn of his venom as his tongue pushed against hers, desirous and needy, swallowing the sounds of her desire. Her arms wrapped around him, tears stinging her eyes as he hollowed her out with more passion than she had ever known. The heat coming off him could incinerate her for all she cared. She never wanted to let him go.  

Adrift on his venom and pinned beneath him, she could only hold on as he drove himself against her. She let her hands wander, pulling at his backside, sliding over his hips. Her thumbs slipped into the sensitive crimson furrows of his pelvic frills and he gasped, his pace stuttering, and spent himself with a low, ragged breath. His lips met hers in clumsy desperation as he flooded her, sparkling heat blooming in the deepest reaches of her channel. It spread through her with every uncoordinated thrust that followed, driven by the sanguine push and pull of him until everything between her legs felt coated in bright, cool warmth. The high was cosmic, ethereal, so unlike any reality she had ever known that she wept, half in pleasure, and half in regret that she could not hold on to this feeling forever. He kissed her tears away, holding her until they were both well and truly spent. 

Eventually, Thane raised himself on shaky legs and withdrew. Minutes slipped by in exhausted, satiated silence after that. She sagged into the sheets as the ropes at her chest came undone, the collar at her neck fell away, and the rigid plug inside her was gently removed. There was a hand beneath her head, water at her lips. Something cool and soothing cleared the mess of fluids from between her legs. Then the sensation of being lifted as he climbed on the bed and arranged her into his lap, draping her against his chest. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

She was dreaming. 

A warm embrace around her on a sunlit afternoon beneath the dreamy palm trees of a far-off island. Cool wind on her skin, an ocean in her ears. Someone was speaking to her; a deep, sweet voice that made her cheeks swell in a quiet smile. 

"Are you awake, Siha?"

Shepard made a small sound and weakly shook her head, nuzzling against something warm. For the first time, in too long, her thoughts were at peace.

"My apologies," the voice said. 

Apologies for what? Everything was perfect. Then she was moving, the sound of the sea disappearing into the warmth of rustling fabric. Her back settled against something decadent and soft. A tender hand cupped her cheek. 

She cracked her sleep-heavy eyes open to find herself in another realm, lit by the warm yellow tones of a nearby lamp and little else. The sky outside was dark and dotted with the twinkling, passing lights of Nos Astra’s traffic. Thane sat beside her, a small smile on his face. He kissed the top of her head.

"I regret that I must ask you to rise soon, Shepard."

Shepard curled into the lightly scented blankets that had been tucked in around her. 

"What time is it?" She asked. 

"Just past sunset."

She wound her arms around whatever parts of him she could reach and mumbled, "Five more minutes." 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Thirty minutes later, she was gently roused from sleep. 

“Would you prefer to dress yourself in private?” Thane asked.

Shepard placed her tired feet on the floor and stood before him, naked as the day she was born.

“I think we’re past that,” she said with a small chuckle.

He gave her a small smile and helped her into her pants as he said “I wanted to thank you.” 

Shepard blinked. "I should be thanking you.” 

"We may thank each other, then. I enjoyed our time together."

Shepard attempted to conceal her blush by pulling her shirt over her head. "I bet you say that to everyone."

Thane kissed her cheek. "Even if I did, how would you know?"

It was a damn tragedy that she couldn’t spend the entire night with him. 

"If I survive this… thing… I'm involved in…" she began, a sudden timidness taking root in her like a damn teenager. "I'd love to get lunch sometime."

That got a genuine chuckle out of him, and he gave her a friendly hug. Her heart leapt for but a moment.

"Perhaps," he said with a beautiful smile. "We shall see what my wife thinks.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Tali was stiff as a wire, straddling a chair on the engineering deck and gripping the backrest with both hands.

"You slept with who?" 

"I don't know, his profile said 'the artist formerly known as Ocean's Prayer' or something."

Tali’s luminous eyes were wide behind her mask, shoulders tensed with some kind of anticipatory excitement. 

"The Ocean's Prayer? From Fornax?"

Running a hand through her hair, Shepard smiled sheepishly. "We weren't allowed to have Fornax on Arcturus, Tali."

"This isn’t Arcturus! You have your own damn ship!" She exclaimed.

"I'm sure you've noticed, but I've been a little busy-"

"Keelah, Shepard. You humans make problems out of nothing." Tali's Omni-tool glowed to life. "Let me just… there. Look." 

A holo sprang up before her - a magazine cover - on which a green drell posed, the image conspicuously cropped at his waist. Tali pointed, as though the image didn’t already have Shepard’s full attention. 

"This guy?"

Shepard nodded, chewing on her lip. "That's him, yeah."

"Do you have any idea how famous this guy is? Look, look-" Tali began to page through the magazine. 

Just because Shepard never had Fornax didn't mean she'd never looked at porn before. There definitely should've been a paywall some pages back. She narrowed her eyes and gave Tali a mischievous look.

"Is that your personal copy?" 

"You-! Shut your mouth, you have no room to talk after what you just told me," Tali shot back. 

"Give me that, I want to see."

Her omni-tool pinged and Shepard flipped open the holomag. 

Ocean's Prayer: the Fornax exclusive you've been waiting for - interview with the Master of Inscrutable Depths himself.

"Shepard, that man could make even the most straight-laced turian beg for mercy."

"Damn," Shepard muttered under her breath, paging through walls of text she was too dazzled to read, sprinkled with teasing photos that made her hot under the collar. Just on the memory of his touch, his voice, his massive-

Oh. 

The next page opened to a full page photo. Shepard coughed on her drink.

Sere Krios is rendered by the incredible @messydiabolical. Check out AO3 for the uncensored feature :)))

[kiki-strike]

hi would you mind tellin me what ed ward was like? i might have to go there at some point and im scared also sorry if im phrasing it wrong and also also if you're more comfy dming or not answering at all thats fine

Hi yes I can!! And you can dm me if you want or send another ask if you have more questions :)

So there’s two kinds of 24-hour ED care, inpatient and residential. Inpatient is usually inside of a hospital, sometimes integrated with the psych ward (hence “ed ward”). This is where people that aren’t medically stable go (think serious heart conditions, people who flat-out refuse to eat, people who need to be in a locked ward to be safe). I haven’t been to inpatient ed, so I can’t say much on that subject. I do know that you typically stay in inpatient much shorter than residential.

I was in residential for four months. Usually ED treatment takes longer than treatment for depression and such and it’s not uncommon for people to go into residential more than once, but it’s pretty rare for residential to last more than six months. It’s expected that you’ll do a step-down plan which means after you leave res you’ll do a PHP and an IOP (PHP is when you live at home but go to programming during the day, usually 40-60hrs a week with all meals there, and IOP is usually half a day 2-3 times a week).

My res was three houses in a neighborhood (not in a row) and we would all go to the biggest house during the day. There was usually 2-3 group therapy sessions and 2-3 classes (DBT skills, nutrition, etc) per day, every day (inc weekends). We spent the rest of our time doing leisure stuff and eating.

Meals took up a HUGE portion of the day because we got half an hour for each meal, and then there was another half hour for supplements, plus 15 minutes for snacks and 15 minutes for snack supplements, so that amounts to… 4.5 hours every day. The way meals worked was each person got their own plate, to their own needs (some people got tiny amounts bc refeeding, some people got huge amounts bc restoration, etc). You got to choose 3 blacklisted foods that they would never give you, other than that if you didn’t like the food you had to suck it up. I chose spicy food, eggplant, and I think peanut butter? Because being vegetarian didn’t count (though I told them I was vegan instead because I was scared of milk😔). If you didn’t finish your food you got supplemented - 1/2 a sup for eating 3/4 but not finishing, one sup for 1/2-3/4, and two supps for eating less than half. Our supps were Kate Farms unless you had other dietary restrictions; I got switched to ensure clear halfway through because I went on a Kate Farms boycott to get it haha, WORTH IT ensure clear I love you. You had to sit at supps table for the whole half hour or until you finished it (it was a socially-acceptable choice to just sit there for half an hour). If you didn’t drink your sup you lost privileges for the next day, but unless you’d been there for a few months you didn’t actually *have* any, so… privileges were going on our daily 10 minute walk, the weekly strip mall field trip, and if you were VERY LUCKY going to the bathroom with the door closed. During meals there were a lot of blacklisted topics because yknow. Bad Time Let’s Be Nice. If you weren’t eating staff would gently encourage you but wouldn’t be mean about it, and the other patients would too. It’s pretty hard to fake eating there, but not impossible, and definitely impossible to do it without other patients seeing (because we all watched each other eat So Closely and we know all our tricks…) and other patients ratting you out is a definite possibility. You weren’t allowed to leave the table during meals but sometimes it happens. If you didn’t eat for two days they sent you to inpatient (they couldn’t actually force you to eat in res, but in IP they can tube you).

In our free time we all got really close. Everybody had a roommate and we slept in real bedrooms with our own bathrooms (which we could only use at night, they were locked during the day). A lot of us crocheted, there was lots of reading and coloring. We were allowed an hour of screen time, including TV, a day but that was taken away if you were Really Bad (think screaming fit not like “didn’t eat fear food”). If you were still in high school you were expected to do that (online) during free time (which was also a ticket to unlimited computer time during free time lolol, same with AA). The people you go to res to become like a weird version of your family, you’re together for months with ONLY each other doing something very emotionally taxing, so like within the first few days boom you now have 15 new best friends. It’s also very insular in that there are trends? Within your res? I started a rock painting trend, and also pestered staff enough that they finally let us garden (this was just me gardening and everyone else reading in the yard). Everybody listened to top 50 pop even if they hated it, because at res you like it (I’m very attached to billboard pop 2021 still), we all watched every Keanu Reeves movie because it’s funny to say that you have (none of us even liked him that much).

At res everything is funny because everything’s so bad? It’s this sort of delirious sheen that takes over everything, like looking at the world through a soap bubble. That said I was also on the maximum dose of seroquil. Everyone’s super supportive, not like the movies. If they didn’t actually want to recover they didn’t say anything about it.

Staff there consisted of three types: the babysitters (I don’t know their real titles), mostly college girls who babysat us and ran the houses, the therapists/psychiatrists who ran groups and did individual therapy, and the nurses. There was a nurse on staff until 11 every night, because we all had hot girl stomach issues and sometimes hot girl heart problems. They took blood once a week and there was a doctor that saw you once a month or if you complained about something long enough. The babysitters were all really nice though some were less pushover-y than others (let you stay on computer longer etc). They said they did room sweeps once a week but I had contraband they never found. They also said we weren’t allowed to touch each other for more than five seconds at a time (I am the reason that rule exists haha) but like… you have a roommate for a reason!! (I’m not even talking about sex I just mean snuggling ;-;)

In terms of visitors you mostly only got your parents or if you were married your spouse, maaaybe somebody’s friends came once? But not common. You’re not allowed alone time with your visitors (like prison!) and anything they give you has to be searched by staff (same as stuff you order online or buy on the strip mall field trips). A lot of rules are very very strict because people with eating disorders are masters at worming their way out of things which sucks but makes sense.

There were some unsavory things that happened to me there that I’d like not to talk about here, just know that when you go, it’s very possible for staff to lie to your parents/caretakers to the point that they don’t believe you. It is very hard to leave once you check yourself in, and if you do leave before they let you, that’s called AMA and your insurance won’t pay for the part of your stay you did already (which for me was $2k a day. For four months). Once you go there you’ve basically handed over your rights indefinitely to the program in exchange for learning how to eat good and not die. Which is better than dying but not amazing either, but that’s the way it is.

Some other unintended side effects:

1. If you were scared of blood draws before you went in you won’t be when you come out.

2. You’ll be able to pee anywhere no more pee shyness. Along those lines we had to describe our shit every morning to the nurse in earshot of everybody? So you won’t be embarrassed about that any more.

3. You might forget to close the bathroom door the first few months you’re home.

4. You’ll become very attached to some foods in res and then when you get out can never eat those foods again. For me that’s biscoff cookie butter.

5. You’ll be WAY less on your phone. You’ll know how to sit and wait instead of going on your phone immediately for entertainment.

All in all I’d say you get more freedom than the locked ward and less freedom than rehab, but stay longer than both of them combined. Fellow patients are awesome, staff is a mostly positive mixed bag, and activities are dismal (eating).

I wish you so much luck in recovery. You can do this! Every meal is a new beginning. I believe in you!

A funny for you for making it this far:

[syoddeye]

231 days until halloween so obviously i'm thinking about group costumes for the 141

KISS

Wizard of Oz

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Ghostbusters

Four Horsemen

Mystery Inc. (+ Riley)

Mean Girls

The Golden Girls

What We Do in the Shadows

Heathers

Jumanji

Teletubbies

Slashers (Ghostface, Freddy, Jason, Michael, idk your faves)

Mario, Luigi, Wario, and Waluigi

Fake Powerpuff Girls + Professor Utonium

Team 7 from Naruto

[squalloscope]

Are you ever planning on putting exoskeletons for children on amazon music? love ur music by the way :)

not sure if i missed this or if i already answered it. "Exoskeletons for Children" was released by the record labels Seayou Records in Europe and Fake Four Inc. in the United States. I have no influence on which digital platforms they distribute it to. I do not know why it's not on Amazon, but Amazon is an evil evil hellhole of a business anyway.

[catilinas]

so i'm building a brand new ruin and what you've been doing? that year i spent all summer on bloody knees taking pebbles from graves tangled up in possibilities getting the ringing in my ears engraved

[dark-elf-writes]

Hi! I’m quite bored right now and am in the mood for Gossip. So if your agreeable I’d like to ask you + your followers some questions. You can answer one, none, all, or whichever ones you want.

1. What’s an unfortunate piece of knowledge that you have?

2. Does your family have any secrets you don’t mind sharing?

3. What’s the weirdest/funniest reason you’ve broken up with someone/someone’s broken up with you?

4. If you had to get any body modification, what would it be?

5. Is there any funny/dramatic event that happened in your friend group/ a friend group you know of?

6. Is there a story you’ve been wanting to share but haven’t had the chance to?

7. Whose the strangest person you know and how?

8. Is there any drama/event you haven’t been able to stop thinking about?

:D

Oooo this is fun let’s see

I have many but right now the only fun fact going through my head is that snakes have two dicks. I blame Dimension 20 and Hank Green for that being so readily available in my head and that I can’t think of anything else

Most of my family secrets are A Lot™️ and also very recognizable but for a tamer one? Not so much a secret as a weird tradition that makes no sense , my family does a “hunt” where you go run around in the woods looking for a fake creature as a right of passage for kids and people marrying in. It’s just a silly goofy thing that we don’t tell people about because it’s a surprise.

GOD I have so many breakup stories. The crowning achievement was one time I got broken up with because I was going to an anime convention that I told him about moths in advance and he didn’t want me “dressing like a slut for a bunch of nerds”. Jokes on him I had a great time and got laid by an incredibly attractive Deadpool cosplayer so like who was the real winner

Besides top surgery? I want pointy ears. I want to be an elf so bad. Let me be an elf.

So many. One of the stupider ones was beef over Sherlock. I don’t remember what it was about it was so long ago.

Oooo I have a lot of weird stories but I’ve shared a lot. Um. Might have told this one already but. One year when we had a snow storm on Halloween I was driving back from work when my car’s computer (how it was explained to me. Basically just the thing that tells the car it is running while it’s running) fried itself while I was driving. I pulled into a side road right Inc. don’t of a burger king with no power steering or anything and waited for my stepdad to come help. The problem? We had to push the car into the burger king parking lot and I was in five inch heels and a tiny Wednesday Addams dress with no coat. In 0 degree weather. We made it three steps before two massive “clearly works out on the nearby farms” looking guys jumped out of their F150 mid getting their food to help. I got several lectures about proper winter attire. The fact that I pulled out a massive Star Trek blanket from my backseat didn’t help for some reason. But I still picked that damn car in heels in snow and ice and deserve acknowledgment for that tbh.

Strange just by being kind of weird? Me. But if I’m not included there was a guy that worked with my dad that I called Scary Larry (he was probably not scary but he was over six feet tall and loud and I was a tiny undiagnosed neurodivergent child) he smoked three packs of cigarettes a day and the first house I ever broke into was his trailer when I was like eight when he and my dad boosted me through a window and I fell into a four foot tall wall of cassette tapes

Globally? No. Personally? Two people in my family have broken up with a partner they lived with, didn’t move out, and the ex’s new partner moved in with them in the worst roommate situation I can imagine. Two. Two separate people. I was baffled when it happened once!

[lingshanhermit]

Lingshan Hermit: To obtain boundless blessings, one must make boundless efforts.

At the beginning of Jiachen Year, I was reading the thirty-third chapter of Wu Ruzhong's Journey to the West during my leisure time. In it, the demon kings Golden Horn and Silver Horn of Lotus Flower Cave ordered two young demons to take their own treasures - the purple golden gourd and red crystal ball, suet-greased diamond vase and cleanser bottle - to capture Sun Wukong.

Later, the two young demons encountered a Daoist priest transformed by Sun Wukong. He tricked them by using a fake gourd to create illusions. The two young demons were moved and exchanged their real treasures for the fake one. Afterwards they realized the Daoist's gourd was just one of Sun Wukong's hairs transformed, and so they lost both their treasures and were duped out of their own by Wukong.

This made me realize that tricks and scams ancient and modern are all the same. Sly demons and cunning worms are all aptly named, thinking themselves clever and cunning. If not so, how could they be fooled?

Over the years I have seen that those who are often scammed consider themselves to be clever and cunning. If not, how could they fall for it? Such people are self-righteous with stubborn views. Outwardly gentle but unwilling to accept others' words. If not so, how could they be fooled, lose the greater for the lesser, exchange real gold and silver for a monkey hair? These people seem shrewd but are actually greedy and foolish.

If not for greed, keeping to one's place, not taking what is not theirs, not encroaching on others' interests, not coveting others' possessions, how could they be fooled? If not foolish, how could they believe there are such good things in the world, that money rains from the sky and treasures pour from the earth, that goose feathers can be exchanged for gold?

Such greedy fools, some mingling in Buddhist circles, often want great gains from tiny efforts, hoping to reap boundless blessings from meager deeds, matching their usual conduct. But how could this be? If so, what of cause and effect? If a hundred people do one good deed together, due to differences in motivation, effort, resources, character, and scope of mind, the merit and virtue gained also differs. This accords with the principles of cause and effect. If, as the masses say, a hundred people doing one good deed gain the same merit, would this not disrupt cause and effect?

Some perform good deeds for all beings, some for their families. Among those doing good, some are for wealth, some for lust, some for fame, some for self-benefit; some for all four reasons. In the community, some have awakened to the dharma-nature, some have mundane minds, some are innocent and kind, some crafty and deceitful, some are opportunists, some are just going through the motions - varied motivations while appearances match. If the fruits gained were the same, where is cause and effect?

All who hope to expend a hair's worth of effort to gain heavenly blessings fail to comprehend the principles of cause and effect. To obtain heavenly blessings, one must make heavenly efforts. To awaken to the dharma-nature, one must embrace the world in one's heart. Those with mundane minds who cultivate the supreme dharma, though mouths speak of all beings, hearts contain no beings, only two or three cherished ones. Such cultivators, wanting to awaken to the dharma-nature, even the dharma's awakening-mind cannot be obtained.

Written by Lingshan Hermit on February 29, 2024.

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灵山居士：欲得齐天之福，必施齐天之功

甲辰年始，余暇中阅吴汝忠西游记至三十三回，有莲花洞金银二魔令二小妖拿紫金红葫芦羊脂玉净瓶二宝物装孙行者。后二小妖路遇孙行者所变之道士，以假葫芦装天示现之，二小妖动心，以真宝贝换其假宝。后知其装天之葫芦乃一猴毛所变，二小妖人宝俱空，装行者不成反被其骗走宝贝，余遂感古今之骗术皆同矣。精细鬼伶俐虫，皆名如其人，自以为精细伶俐也，若非如此焉能受骗。余历年所见之人，凡平日有受骗者，皆自谓聪明伶俐之辈也，非如此亦难上其当，如是之人，皆自以为是，皆我见坚固，皆表面柔顺实则不纳人言，若非如是，焉能上当受骗，焉能护小失大，焉能以真金白银换猴毛。是人看似精明，实则贪愚兼备也。其人若非贪者，安守本分，不取非己之财，不占他人之利，于他人之物不侧目不动心，何至于被骗？若非愚者，岂能以为世上有此好事，能信天上落美钞地上涌财宝，能信鹅毛可换金砖。此贪愚之辈，有混迹佛门者，常欲以小博大，施点滴之功欲得亿万之果，出些微之力欲得无上之福，与其平日行事之风暗合。然岂可得也？若能如是，因果何存？如百人同举一善，因其各个所用心力不同、出资不同、人品不同、心所覆盖者广狭不同，所得之功德善业亦有百般差异，如是方为因果之正解也。若依大众所解，百人同举一善，所得功德皆同，因果岂非错乱？有者行善，为众生；有者行善，为家人也。行善者，有为财者有为色者有为名者有为利者，有四者皆为者。大众之中，有证悟法性者，有心同凡俗者，有天真善良者，有圆滑狡诈者，有浑水摸鱼者，有滥竽充数者，种种动机不一而足，如是发心不同出力不同出资不同人品不同若所得之果皆同，因果何存？凡欲施毫毛之功获齐天之福者，皆不知因果正理也。欲得齐天之福，必施齐天之功；欲得证悟法性，必得心怀天下。有怀凡俗之心修无上法者，口中常说众生，心中实无众生，其所牵挂者仅二三人矣。此等修士欲得证悟法性，法本念破亦不可得矣。

灵山居士写于2024年2月29日。

[owlbearwrites]

I am interested in any Rowan worldbuilding you'd like to share for WIP Wednesday

Thank you for the ask!

Seeing as I’ve talked about Rowan, it’s only fair that I talk about Jack, next. *checks the time* Oh, no, I only have four hours to spare today, so I’d better stick to a specific subject. *throws dart*

Okay, let’s have a brief history of Jack’s company, Triumvirate Inc.

It starts with Jack Howard in his early twenties, working for Castle Tech, a leading supplier of everything “smart home”: electronics, appliances, and automation devices, you name it. (“Turn your home into your castle with Castle Tech.”) Having lots of ideas and next to zero capacity to keep his mouth shut, he quickly caught the eye of Edward Castle, the founder and fairly hands-on CEO, and successfully pitched his ideas more than once.

Until one fateful day when, during a customary monthly pitch meeting, Jack came forward with what he thought was a damn good design for more efficient power cells that would greatly extend the service life of the many Castle Tech products… and was shut down from the get-go. And then a few times more, every time he’d try to bring the idea back up again during that meeting, until he had to fake an emergency phone call and leave the room. (It was that, or get in the CEO’s face in front of a dozen other people.)

Even that walk-out was enough to get him in trouble, though—or so Jack thought, at least, when he got a message summoning him to Castle’s office the next day. The man didn’t seem mad at him, though. But then he brought up Jack’s power cell design again, and…

“Your idea definitely has legs, but I’m afraid Castle Tech is no place for it just now. You probably know that we get all of our current power cells from Senate Energy. What you don’t know is that in exchange for the prices they give us, we have an exclusivity clause with them. For the next three years, we can’t buy power cells from anyone else or manufacture them in-house.”

“So you want me to put my idea on ice for three years?”

“Actually, I was wondering how you’d feel about working on your design outside of Castle Tech.”

“Are you… firing me, Edward?”

“Good lord, Jackie! No, I’m offering to invest in you.”

Thus, with a dream and ten million dollars, Triumvirate Inc. was born. And yes, Edward Castle is the only person in the world who is allowed to use that nickname for Jack. Anyone else who wishes to refer to Mr. Howard as ‘Jackie’ had better have a check for ten million dollars ready. (That is not a joke. There was at least one lawsuit.)

Of course, with a company name like that comes a frequent question: are there three founders? And all Jack will say to that is,

“Absolutely. Me, myself, and I.”

(The true and secret origin story of the name of Triumvirate Inc. is, Jack really wanted a name that sounded cool and was some kind of one-up on ‘Senate’. Because when you've got ten million dollars for a start-up, you can afford to be as petty as you like.)