#fair warning: there is sO MUCH profanity in this
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thinking about logan x reader whoâs literally the most introverted but bluntest person heâs ever met. that meet-cute (if it could be called thatâŠ?) would be entertaining as hell
cottontail
wolverines are known to prey on rabbits... which would explain why Logan was looking at you like that.
CW: fluffy fluff, heavily suggestive, profanity, i kinda changed it up a bit, takes place after X-Men (2000), reader is a bit of a personality, reader also has a bunny mutation, again kinda iffy on how this turned out, etc. (@OstarwomenO for the inspiration)
"And, finally, the gym," Ororo finished, motioning toward the door. "Much like the Danger Room, we use it to train or spar, but strictly without powers."
Logan cocked a brow, ears perking at the faint sound of music coming from the other side of the door, along with the rhythmic thuds of limbs slamming against a mat.
'Huh...'
Ororo insisted on giving him the official tour of the mansion now that he was back from his trip to Alkali, seeing as she never got the chance to when he first arrived.
And, of courseâLogan being Loganâhe waved her off, insisting he'd be able to figure it out.
But the woman did not take no for an answer.
"Someone in there?" he asked, shifting his cigar to the side of his mouth as his thumb jutted toward the door.
"Just (y/n)," she shrugged, an amused smile rising her to lips. "It's actually kinda ironic, she rolled in about an hour before you did yesterday."
That was the new smell he picked up on.
It was the same one the hallway was currently drowning inânot that he was complaining.
It was sweet and musky, with faint, floral notes and a smidgen bit of earthâlike taking a breath of fresh air in the middle of a meadow.
"And I didn't run into her?" Logan raised a brow, feigning indifference.
Ororo let out a dry chuckle, as if she was in on a joke he wasn't, "(y/n)'s a... character. She kinda does her own thing around here."
Character?
Forget indifference, the man was intrigued.
"I can introduce you if you'd like," she nodded, her eyes widening slightly, remembering something. "Fair warning, she says whatever she wants. So just... don't be shocked when she says something appalling. She's a sweetheart once you get to know her."
'Jesus...'
She made it sound like he was about to meet some sort of feral grizzly bear.
Logan shrugged, and she let out a sigh, pressing the keypad and opening up the door to reveal you.
Grizzly?
No.
Feral?
Entirely possible.
With a wide grin, you weaved around, dodging jabs from the automated dummy before back-flipping onto the wall and pushing off like a spring.
Tackling the robot, you slammed its head into the ground, winding for a second blow when it suddenly bucked you off.
You recovered quickly, shifting in mid-air so you landed on your feet, before launching another attack.
Jumping high, you landed right on the dummy's shoulders, locking your thighs around its neck before effortlessly throwing around your body weight, sending it crashing to the ground
But that wasn't it.
With a soft grunt, and a small twist of your legs, you popped its head right off in a flourish of sparks and circuitsâthe action sending a warm tingle through Logan's stomach.
'Damn...'
You pulled yourself up off the ground with a laugh, grabbing the robot's body and tossing it in a pile in the cornerâwhich consisted of at least twenty others.
"Finally," you sighed, jokingly, as the two entered further.
You sauntered over to your boombox and cut the music, dusting off your hands.
"This is a disgrace. How the hell are the kids supposed to learn from these things, 'Roro? They barely last two minutes."
She playfully rolled her eyes, fighting off her smile as she pulled you into a hug, "I hope you know you're paying for those."
You chuckled, giving her a loving pat on the back, "Put 'em on my tab."
Logan was still transfixed.
In all his years, he had never seen a mutant like you before.
(h/l), (h/c) hair, plump lips, heavenly curves, made evident by your workout clothes, or slight lack thereof, stark white bunny ears, equally white tail, paired with alluring (e/c) eyes.
You were dripping in beauty and confidence.
Logan, so mesmerized, didn't even realize that you'd already cruised your way over, and were now standing directly in front him.
"I take it you're Logan," you smiled, shamelessly staring at him. "If I knew you were this handsome, I woulda introduced myself sooner."
"(n/n)," Ororo scolded, pinching the bridge of her nose.
'Here we go...'
"Is that so?" Logan smirked, amused by your blunt start to the conversation.
"Hell yeah," you nodded, shifting you weight on your hips
You weren't stupid.
You saw the way he was staring at you, and you heard the way his heart frenzied when you walked over.
So what's to say you couldn't have a little fun?
After all, it wasn't every day you'd meet someone as sexy as Mr. Tall, Dark, and Brooding.
"Of course, I could always do that over a few rounds."
His brow quirked with interest, eyes slowly flitting over your body at the proposition.
"On the mat, that is..." you chuckled, reading him loud and clear as you turned to walk toward the sparring area, stretching out your arms.
"That works, too," he grinned, tugging off his leather jacket.
"You two are doing this? Really?" Ororo groaned, resting a hand on her hip.
"Yup."
"She asked for it."
Ororo sighed, deciding to check herself out for the day and head for the door.
"Y'know what? Knock yourselves out. I'm gonna take a nap," she waved, turning the corner. "Don't break anything."
Logan scoffed, cracking his neck as he stepped onto his side of the circle, "No promises..."
You grinned, pleasantly surprised by his seriousness.
Many assume that because of your mutation, you're just some helpless little rabbitâas kids, you and Scott got into a huge argument when you caught him pulling his punches.
But Logan seemed ready to throw down, a fact that not only excited you, but made the man move up a great many rungs in your respect ladder.
"You sure you want this?" you smirked, lowering yourself into a split, stretching your legs. "I don't go easy."
'Goddamn, how flexible is sheâ'
"Neither do I," he snapped himself back, playing it off with a chuckle. "Let's see how long you last."
You scoffed, tongue in cheek as you stood up, shifting into a defensive stance.
'I'm gonna kick your ass, mutton chops."
"I'd like to see ya try, cottontail."
#james howlett#james howlett x reader#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#mcu#mcu x reader#wolverine x reader#x men#x men x reader#wolverine
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SO AMERICAN! | where you meet tsukishima andâwow you are so american.
â« â currently playing⊠olivia rodrigo
warnings â profanity, reader is learning japanese and is american if u couldnt tell! reader is called pretty
pairing â tsukishima x fem!reader
a/n â hashtag semi hiatus! anyways i was reading an ao3 fic while listening to this song and it sparked smth in me so enjoy! (did my research on culture shocks btw guys!!)
word count â 571
Youâre smiling at him like you know him.
Tsukishima doesnât know you. Heâs just seen you for the first time when you walked into the gymâpresumably to become the manager for the club next year.
Itâs starting to worry him, you havenât been properly introduced, only your eyes have met a few times, yet you donât hesitate to smile every time you make contact.
Youâre not in the same class. But he can tell by your mannerisms that youâre a foreign student. You talk a little louder than most, and your Japanese is accented but not enough where he canât understand.
He knows heâs spot on when you go to greet Daichi with a handshake, he can see you firmly grip his hand which catches him off guard.
Y/n. Thatâs your name.
Itâs a pretty name he admits to himself, youâre a pretty girl so it fits. He doesnât acknowledge thatâor tries not to.
Youâre standing in front of the whole team being introduced to everyone, waving and smiling like youâre old friends.
He can see from his peripheral vision when they all bow that youâre unsure of what to do. You awkwardly tilt your body down too, and he lets out a quiet chuckle.
Itâs cute.
Heâs disgusted by himself, he thinks that something is up with him.
Shaking his head, he starts his warmups.
He tries not to keep his eye on you, but he canât help it.
Youâre holding a clipboard now, there's a paper on it he canât see, but he can tell by your furrowed brows that youâre still struggling a bit with reading.
Making an excuse for himself, he walks up to where his water bottleâluckily right next to where you are, turns around and takes a sip of it. Heâs standing right next to you now, reading the same paper as him.
Your eyes scan left to right on the paper, he laughs.
Whipping your head over, you ask, âIs something wrong?â
âRight to left, we read right to left.â He speaks a little slower than his usual paceâhoping you wouldnât be offended.
You arenât a smile grows on your face instead. âOh my goshâI was wondering what was wrong this whole time!â You laugh at yourself, thanking him quietly before restarting, eyes moving right to left this time.
âYouâre so american.â He mutters, a chuckle comes out of him as he says it.
âIs that a compliment?â You ask, the paper is discarded now, your full attention is on him.
âWhatever you want it to be.â
You roll your eyes, hitting his shoulder with no real force behind it, âWhatever Kei.â
He doesnât miss the fact that youâve called him Kei instead of his surname. He brushes it off as another mistake, youâre new to the country after all.
Later he hears you complimenting âKageyama and Hinataâ, your voice is still louder than what a normal student speaks, and youâre gushing about their skills, to their faces. But then he looks over at you, and you two make eye contact.
He almost misses how you wink at him, it's a teasing one but it still makes his heart flutter. Then as quickly as you looked over, you looked away, a bright smile present on your face while you talked to his other teammates.
Itâs definitely not fair of you to make him feel this much. Because he might just fall in love.
yenqa © please do not copy, steal or translate.
#yenqaâs works!#haikyuu drabbles#haikyuu au#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu!! x reader#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu texts#haikyuu fic#haikyuu imagine#haikyuu smau#tsukishima smau#tsukishima x y/n#tsukishima x reader#tsukishima x you#tsukishima texts#tsukishima kei fluff#tsukishima fluff#tsukishima kei x reader#tsukishima au#tsukishima fic#tsukishima kei#tsukishima imagine#haikyuu tsukishima
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the subtle art of cliche confessions. ksm.
kim seungmin x gn!reader â as aware as you were that life wasnât like the fictional stories of romance that you enjoyed, a part of you still relished the thought of experiencing it for yourself.
GENRE/S â fluff, humor kinda, maybe fluffy angst but not really, battle of the bands au, lead singer!seungmin, college au, kinda semi-established relationship âą 2.5k words
WARNING/S â profanity for humor, some self-deprecation as a result of nervousness but its not that bad, romance is complicated! in the same universe as "i'd weave words with every chord you strum. hjs"
( âïž ) a gift for @starlostseungmin for successfully completing her big exam đââïžđ€ congratulations lovie, you deserve a fluffy seungmin fic !! the ending may be trash im sorry its 1am and i have class in a few hrs
2024 â starseungs on tumblr. do not steal, repost, or edit.
âJisung, I think Iâm about to pass out.â
The person mentioned comically froze on the spot, his right hand halting from its previous task of double-checking his electric guitarâs condition. Jisung lifted his head up menacingly to look at the offenderâwho currently looked like he was seconds away from losing all strength in his legs. Despite the concerning comment, life backstage did not stop for anyone. Crew members were still seen running around like headless chickens, desperately trying to keep the show running smoothly even though they, themselves, were already functioning on greater levels of adrenaline than the performers.Â
âOh, no you donât,â Jisung warns lowly. âKim Seungmin, you are not about to leave us without a lead singer right now!â
Unfortunately, Seungmin was not kidding. At all.
The loud cheers of the crowd from beyond the stage were deafening. It tells him that the band currently performing before them is doing a great job of keeping the audience entertained. Normally, that wouldâve set him on fire to do better; bits of his competitive nature steeling his resolve to outdo the competition. And yet, something seemed to be different in todayâs specific battle.Â
He couldnât care less about the crowdâno, his mind was only revolving around one thought. Or one person, to be specific.Â
This makes him blanch once again. âI genuinely feel like throwing up.â
Chan snickers from his position near the dividers set up to create a makeshift waiting room for the performers. âAre you that nervous?â He asked lightheartedly. âDonât stress about it too much, Min. We all know Y/N is going to say yes.â
Seungmin wanted to believe him. He really did. If anyone were to be asked about his natural demeanor, he was one hundred percent positive that the word ârationalâ would come up at least once. He knew that the chances of the drummerâs words were the most probableâafter all, he did his best efforts to capture your heart over the past year. And yes, Seungmin did also know that you had romantic feelings for him. That was why he was in this situation in the first place.
âIf I were them, I would!â Hyunjin chirps, happily tapping on his bass guitar. âImagine getting asked out by the lead singer of a band in the middle of their set? Anyone would be over the moon.â Seungmin merely scoffs in response.
âOf course you would, Mr. Hopeless Romantic.â
The bassist chokes out an offended noise. âSays the one doing a public confession,â he huffs. âGlad to know you learned a thing or two from those romance movies I pitch in on movie nights.â
âYeah, well this isnât fiction.â Seungmin deflates on his seat. Any more, and his band wouldâve witnessed a person merging with a plastic chair. Wouldnât that be a great memory to live with? âThis is so cliche. What if they think itâs cringy?â
Jeongin, the keyboardist, shoots him a look full of judgment. âWhy are you only second guessing this now?â
âTo be fair, you both are already cringy.â Jisung stands up from his seat to stretch, only to receive a glare from the bandâs lead singer. He raised his hands in mock surrender. âJust saying. Itâs a miracle how long you two went on without an actual label. Everyone knows you two have been practically dating since months ago.â
And to that, Seungmin has no retort. What Jisung said had its truthsâeven he, himself, didnât know why it took him so long to ask you to be officially his. It definitely wasnât a commitment issue; he hasnât even entertained anyone else intimately ever since he met you. There were even nights where he mentally beat himself up for being a coward about this whole thing, only for him to end the torment by convincing himself it was him going through the courting stage with you.
Not that he even asked, but that was what he was doing. Right?
Itâs not his fault you always rendered him speechless. Not too much, of course. He wasnât that starstruck that heâd make an absolute fool of himself. It was just that you made him really nervous and awfully conscious of himself. The way you talked was like music to his ears, and he swears he could listen to you all day. He finds himself wondering if his own voice ruins this fantasy of his.
You had to have noticed his advances as well. There was just no way that you didn't, with how smart you were. He just didnât know whether to be grateful or frustrated with the fact that you never said a word about it. What if you were actually uncomfortable with the whole thing and were just too nice to tell him. Oh, he shouldâve asked. This is terrible. A massive mistake on his part. An angel like you shouldnât be forced to be with someone like him.
âWhat if Iâm getting ahead of myself and they donât actually like me like that?â
Jeonginâs jaw drops. âYou have got to be kidding me.â He was going to tease Seungmin further, but something about the look on his friendâs face screamed anxiety, so Jeongin was quick to force his mouth closed. âY/N does. Have you seen the way they act when theyâre with you? Heart eyes, I swear.â
Okay, thereâs that too. Seungmin wasnât blind, nor was he dense. If he didnât think you were interested in him like this, then he wouldnât have actively pursued you time and time again. He was confident, not someone who didnât know their boundaries. And fortunately, you seemed to have wordlessly affirmed that he could get close to you over the months youâve been talking. He was sure that if you had even expressed the slightest bit of disapproval of his advances, he would have pulled away immediately. As well as reassess the situation right afterwards.
Seungmin sighs. âI just want to do this right.â
âAnd you will,â Chan says. The drummer gives him a firm pat on the back. âTrust in yourself. Weâll also have your back. Go out there and perform like you always do, just that you have your little plan before the bridge comes in.â
All Seungmin got from that was how you were in the crowd. Right, you were in that crowd. The very same crowd he didnât give a single fuck about at this moment. You were the only audience he needed, and it both comforted and terrified him to remember that he left you to sit in the very front row earlier before the program started. Just where did all his courage go? The bastard who planned a public confession on their campus festivalâs Battle of the Bands competition should be the one present to go through all this.
âI donât know if Iâve ever been this nervous to perform ever.â
Hyunjin hums. âThen that means you really like Y/N!â
âExactly. We didnât agree to make a whole new original song for this competition just for nothing,â Jisung adds. âWell, I guess itâs also good publicity for when we actually do this band thing for real. Show the public our sound, you know?â
Seungmin finally begins to breathe easily again. He briefly stares at Chan fiddling with his drumsticks, twirling them around with his fingers to soothe his own nerves about their upcoming performance. After all, this wasnât just a performance that Seungmin was doing alone. The competition also meant a lot to his other members in their own different ways, yet they still gave their full support to him when he told them about his plan.
He had great friends.
âStray Kids?â A slightly hoarse voice called out. Seungmin knew the figure as Changbin, someone from the student government. The guy was normally a lot more energetic than this, but he guesses the fatigue must be getting to him from being one of the organizers for this particular event. âYou guys are up in a few seconds.â
Well, this is it. Seungmin stands up to get ready, clearing his throat to calm himself. Thereâs nowhere to run now.
The crowdâs enthusiastic roars never seemed to stop after the previous bandâs set ended, and it was beginning to tick you off. Granted, you should have been happy that Seungminâs band was going to be greeted by a happy crowd, but that also meant that they were subject to pleasing an audience whose hearts were clearly already captured by the performers right before them. And you would be nothing if you werenât competitive. Biased or not, you would die on the hill believing that Seungminâs band is better than the others.
They had a national treasure of a voice for their lead vocals, so how could they not be the best?
An amused snort came from your left side. You didnât have to think too hard to figure out that it came from your friend, Felix. He was probably finding humor in the way your face didnât spare a single effort to even plaster an indifferent expression. What can you say? You were loyal.
âAlright! I see that all of you enjoyed that wonderful performance from Xdinary Heroes!â The programâs host, Lee Minho, came back out to hype the crowd. It was then that your attention snapped back up to the big stage, your eyes watching like a hawk as Seungmin and his friends settled into the equipment. A bubbling giggle found its way out of your mouth at how Seungmin looked so focused on adjusting the height of his mic stand. âA very unique band name, if I do say so myself. But it does look like the new trend, as all of you here might also find interest in our next bandâs name.â
âSeriously,â Felix starts, his tone teasing. âYou are so down bad.â
You roll your eyes. âBe quiet. Itâs starting.â
âYeah, sure.â Felix laughs at your reaction. âWe wouldnât want to interrupt your longtime dream of being confessed to by a singer in the middle of a set now, would we?â Your face burned warmly at the accusation.
It was such a cliche thing to happen. As aware as you were that life wasnât like the fictional stories of romance that you enjoyed, a part of you still relished the thought of experiencing it for yourself. There was a reason why these kinds of events were heavily romanticized in the mediaâthey held their own charm. It just so happened that you agreed to the notion that getting a proclamation of love from a singer on stage was one of the more appealing choices.
Too bad those donât go too well in real life.
âBut itâsââ
âItâs cliche. Yes, youâve already told me countless times that itâs not as good in real life. But we all have our fantasies, Y/N. No judgement.â Felix shrugs. âGood for you, though. You are one determined person to bag an actual singer. In a band, no less.â
âYou are soââ
ââover. Give it up for Stray Kids!â Lee Minhoâs booming voice cut you off again, letting you know that the performance was about to begin.
It started off like normal, with Chan using his drumsticks as a countdown before the instrumental started. Except this time, the song was surprisingly unfamiliar to you. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. This wasnât the piece they practiced when you came over to watch a week ago. You didnât recognize the song in its entirety either, though it was already proving to be a song that fit right with your tastes. Seungminâs voice echoing through the space was also adding so much to the experience.Â
You let the pride you felt at how well he was doing bloom in your chest. It was great to see him shine after going through the rough process of preparation with him. You watched him passionately go through the song smoothly without any mistakes. From the day you first met him until this moment, youâve witnessed how determined he was to achieve his goals in life. It was then that you knew youâd always be proud of Seungmin, no matter what. You were already the happiest youâve ever been just by being by his side.
âDid they change their set?â You asked no one in particular.Â
Felix bops his head to the beat, clearly pleased with the song. âDonât know the song, but itâs great!â
Youâd be lying if you said you didnât agree with him. Though the sudden change in song choice admittedly peaked your curiosity more than it should have. Your eyes found their way back on stage, as if telling you to simply enjoy the performance now and ask later. But it looks like fate had other plans for you, as your eyes immediately locked with a certain lead singerâs.
He left no argument as to who he was looking at. It was clearly you, and you couldnât help the way your breath hitched at the way his gaze alone held the answer to the question that lingered in your head. There were sparks of electricity being mimicked throughout your body, sending you into a mild shock. Like a scene from a movie, everything else in the world just seemed to go on mute.
All except his voice.
âBefore we proceed to the bridge, Iâd like to share something about this song. Would that be alright?â Seungmin spoke to the crowd, despite his attention still obviously on you. You could vaguely hear them answering back to him in interest, positively telling him to go on. It was difficult to miss the way his smile grew at this. Seungmin looked so stunning when he smiled. You always felt like falling in love all over again whenever he did.
The band continued with the instrumental, albeit toning it down as their lead singer continued on. âSo this song is actually an original from us.â Oh, that makes so much more sense. âAnd it was written as my confession to the person I like.âÂ
Wait.
In the fuzz of your brain, you could barely make out Felix jumping up and down in excitement while looking at the scene unfolding before his eyes.
âIâve been contemplating this for a while, wondering when Iâd ever deem it the perfect moment for me to ask the important question,â Seungmin adds. âBut Iâve realized that I was just dragging things out too much for my liking. So, to the one who my heart yearns for even through the nerves Iâm feeling right nowââ You felt overwhelmed at the moment, but you couldnât seem to take your eyes off the way Seungmin looked at you with such fondness and admiration.
ââY/N, will you give me the honor to be yours?â
And when your voice sings out the answer, the instrumental starts picking up again as Seungmin finishes the song with newfound fervor. You chuckle your happy tears away, with your friend playfully punching your arm.
âNow, what did I say?â
Maybe cliches werenât so bad in real life after all.
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#starseungs â library.#stray kids imagines#skz imagines#kim seungmin imagines#seungmin imagines#stray kids x reader#skz x reader#kim seungmin x reader#seungmin x reader#stray kids#skz#kim seungmin#seungmin#stray kids fanfiction#skz fanfiction#kim seungmin fanfiction#seungmin fanfiction#stray kids fluff#skz fluff#kim seungmin fluff#seungmin fluff
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Withering for You || Seungcheol- Part 4
Pairings: Seungcheol x Fem!Reader
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut, CEO! Seungcheol au, Husband! Seungcheol au, Wife! Reader au, Music Teacher! Reader au, Arranged Marriage au, College Sweetheart au, Exes to Lovers au
Synopsis: When you are arranged married to the man, whose heart you had broken years ago, even dreaming about mending things seems next to impossible when he has been holding grudge for all these only to return it to you tenfold.
Warnings (specific to this part): drama, crying, profanities, everyone is hurt and sad, everything is on rocks, mentions of infidelity (doesn't happen to though), mention of alcohol consumption, betrayal, italics represents occurrences in past
Word Count: 6.3k
TAGLIST FOR THIS SERIES IS CLOSED!
Banner credits to my baby @hoeforhao <3
[ SVT Masterlist ] [ SVT Flick - Fic Masterlist ]
Teaser | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Epilogue
They say betrayal is worse than death if you taste it from someone you trust, someone you love. It's stingy, it's sickening, it's scathing.
You have always believed in soulmates, entitled Seungcheol to that word since you've known him, even wanted to make promises of eternity with him. But you should have seen the signs, should have never crossed the lines. Must not have tried to slip into the loopholes.
But you got blinded by greed, a hopeful stance of getting back together. Was it so wrong to wish a happily ever after with the one you have loved selflessly? Apparently it was.
"Sit.", you tell Seungcheol and the later obeys.
And as he does so his eyes fall on a very familiar document kept on the table. Instantly, he goes numb.
You observe him for a moment and play the recordings Jiah had given you. Midway, a panic stricken Seungcheol runs to you and pauses the recording.
He grabs your arms and says in desperation, "I didn't do all this Y/N. I admit I had planned all this because I wanted revenge but please trust me, it wasn't me."
"Unhand me.", you command him coldly, "Your touch disgusts me."
Seungcheol looks at you alarmingly before freeing your arms. He thinks of ways to convince you because in actuality, like he said he had planned it all but something out of scope happened. He fell in love with you again so long gone were all of those thoughts and schemes.
"What goes around, surely comes around.", you let out a chuckle, "Maybe that's why, I'm going through this. I get that you wanted to trample me upon. It's fair, to think about what you've been through because of me, I could have understood.", you look at him, "You could have handed me the divorce papers on our anniversary. Could have had other women and it would have wounded me. But-"
The tears pooling at the corner of your eyes are streaming down, "But how could you stoop so low? Knowing how much this academy matters to me, knowing what music means to me, you went out to attack my soul."
"No Y/N, I was a fool, please please", Seungcheol is crying as well, choking on his words, "It was wrong of me but I would never--"
"They are calling me a thief. Because of this incident those out there are questioning my whole career. The career, I've pursued after fighting the odds, after struggling for years. The one thing that is entirely mine.", your eyes turn darker as you say, "You could have rather killed me, Seungcheol."
Seungcheol gasps and shakes his head frantically.
"Even if I clear my name today, there will be people who'll still doubt my ability. Some out there would assume that I might be guilty and just because I belong to an influential family, I must have pushed everything under the rug with money.", you are hurting yourself with every word you utter at this point, clutching your chest, "My image is tainted, my career is ruined. They will never look at me the same way."
"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry Y/N", he gets on his knees and clasps his hands, pleading, "I would do anything to clear your name. I'd do anything to win back your trust just give me one chance--"
You take his hands off you saying, "I have always loved you, Seungcheol. Back then, even now, I have chosen you. But none of that matters now. You have stabbed me in the back but I'll be one to pay the price. I thought you'd be different but these genes run in your family. I can't even blame Jiah. You Choi's are no different from her--", you halt.
"What do you mean?", Seungcheol asks confused.
"As I said none of that matters now. You are so petty that you acted out the whole thing. You don't love me and from today onwards I won't either.", you answer him, taking out the wedding ring from your dress pocket, "Here, I'm giving you what you wanted.", you take his hand and place the ring on his palm, "Congratulations! This marriage didn't get through it's first year. But I have a present for you. I have filed for divorce, the papers will be sent to you as soon as they're ready."
Seungcheol is at loss of words. He's unable to comprehend the situation. He wants to stop you but on what ground? The irreversible damage is already done.
"I have all of my belongings sent over.", you inform him, "And if you're planning to create a fuss about the divorce and what's gonna happen after the conference, head on. I won't be giving up like last time. I'll see through the end of it."
"It's happening again", he tells himself and sounds so broken when he speaks through his wavering voice, "Please don't leave me again."
"I had no choice, I was forced to leave you back then", you mutter under your breath, making it impossible for him to hear, "I was willing to stay this time but I have to leave, this time for my sake."
While you gather the rest of your belongings, Seungcheol stands there helpless. And as you walk out of the house, he watches you take away the life of his adobe with you.
Seungcheol numbly tunes in to watch the press conference. He sees you on the screen, out of his reach, out of his life. He listens to each word you say. How sad you look as you address the matter. Even though your legal team briefs the journalists, his eyes are glued to you. He observes how you don't explicitly mention him or the Choi enterprise but throw sublte hints to catch on.
But you make it obvious at the end of the conference by announcing your divorce to Seungcheol.
"I have filed for divorce against Choi Seungcheol and I would like to refrain you all from associating me with the Choi's in future."
Seungcheol is immediately thrown under the bus. People who were coining you as a thief are now praising you and busy portraying him as the villain.
But mopping won't do him any good. His mind reel backs to every word you have said before leaving. He needs to get answers to some questions. Most importantly, he has to get you back.
The next few days goes by Seungcheol handling the legal charges against him which are minor because he digs out enough evidence to prove that he wasn't involved in the slander and Jiah is the main culprit, adding exceptional charges to the list that would nearly ruin her and damage her company's reputation.
The Choi enterprise faces reputation loss as well which results in their stock plummeting and the board of directors complaining about the situation. But being humungous in business, the impact isn't uncontrollable and since Seungcheol is mentally exhausted his father lets him loose taking matters into his hands for the time being.
Everything is manageable or bearable except for the divorce papers which he has received on your first anniversary, that sits coldly on his office table.
"The house I bought is an hour drive from here and I'm planning to stay there for some time, just to take my mind off of things." you say fishing out your car keys, "I have saved my new contact number to your phones."
"But are you sure you don't want us to be there with you?", your mother asks worriedly.
"At least let us help you shift--"
"Dad, I have lived alone before as well. Plus Chan and my friends are gonna help me with the unpacking.", you move over to hug both of your parents, "Visit me after it's done. Plus I'm planning to throw a cozy house warming house, not soon though."
"We're proud of you.", your mother says patting your head.
"I'm sorry for all the troubles and stress you've been through for the past year.", you mumble, quickly wiping your tears, "I'll be fine, no looking back promise."
"We have always trusted you, just take care of yourself and call us.", your father says kissing your forehead.
Chan waits for you by the car and he doesn't let you drive throughout the time it takes to reach your new house. As your friends help you settle into your new home, you are grateful to them for keeping you distracted and not bringing up Seungcheol.
"I'm sorry, Kwan. The academy had to face such an incident because of me.", you say hanging your head low in shame because you don't want anyone to see your tears, the can of beer in your hand remains unsipped, "I have decided to take some time off, please handle the academy and it's okay if you want me to backout. I'll transfer my shares to you."
Seungkwan blames the atmosphere for the tears in his eyes. He wipes them and sits beside you, "I couldn't have done it alone. The reason the academy exists is because we both had given it our all. So take all the time you want but you'll have to return."
You lean onto him and it's your brother who comes to wipe your tears.
"I'm so sorry Chan.", you speak through the tears, "I should have listened to you. I never thought that Seu--", you go quiet because it pains you to even say his name.
Everyone in room goes silent. It's not haunting rather comforting. But the successive ringing of the phones cause a mild commotion.
"Wonwoo keeps on calling us.", Eunsoo mutters, switching off her phone.
"Just tell him that I'm fine.", you tell her, "I'll give him a call later. I haven't visited Wonseok lately so I need to talk to him anyways."
It's amusing, how the night changes.
Seungcheol is distressed. He realises you are not the only one he has lost, he has lost Ms. Oh's empathy, he has also lost precious friend Wonwoo as well.
Wonwoo is back to his stoic self, the version he was when Seungcheol met him first. Only talks business with him, leaves as soon as he's done with assigned work. No more late night drinks, no more taking shots, none of the banter.
He watches you laugh as Wonwoo tells you something animatedly. He watches how your eyes are dull even though your lips are stretched.
Seungcheol had overheard Wonwoo talking to someone on the phone about his brother so he decides to visit him seperately just to check on him. He didn't expect to see you there, making him question since when you knew about Wonseok.
Your face falls when you're suddenly interrupted by Seungcheol's presence. He stands in front of you wordless, you don't bother to strike any conversation with him either.
"I'll get going, let me know if you need anything else.", you tell Wonwoo and turn around walk away.
"Y/N", Seungcheol says, "Can I please talk to you?"
You crane your neck to meet his gaze, "I don't think we have any business with each other. Do me a favour and just sign the divorce papers."
"I can't.", Seungcheol speaks out without missing a beat, "I need you Y/N, please give me a chance, let me make things right. I promise I won't let you down anymore."
"Enough with this act, don't assume you could fool me twice. I'm done with you.", you move around so now you're facing him again.
"You've changed your number.", he says meekly, "I don't get to see you anymore. That house haunts me, it's not the same without you."
You step in, closing the gap within you two, "You're facing the consequences of your actions. Stop acting like a fucking victim.", you spat out before walking out.
Wonwoo is torn. He doesn't want to take sides, it's even more difficult to see both of his dear friends grieving and suffering but there's nothing he could do.
"Wonseok is going through a series of surgeries because his condition had worsened and Y/N has been paying for them.", Wonwoo informs Seungcheol and before he could ask, Wonwoo adds, "You're already paying me more than I should be so I didn't want to burden you more. She had accidentally found out about Wonseok one day and decided to help me out even though I wasn't ready to accept it. She was determined and I couldn't stop her."
Seungcheol isn't surprised rather he is confused. This version of yours is what he was habituated to when you were dating until you convinced him it wasn't on the day you broke up. Something isn't adding up. Something about your nature and the way you act to what you had said that day are contradicting. You aren't mean-hearted, you are a giver so why did you years ago do something so bizarre, the thought is unsettling.
"She has been taking some time off from the academy, no one knows when she'll be back. She is so affected by the incident that she was ready to give up on the academy. The one she had built from scratch with her blood, sweat and tears." Wonwoo speaks disappointedly, "Do you realise what you have done?"
Seungcheol is ashamed, there's an unhealing pain in his heart thinking about you, about how he should be the one aiding you in your tough time but he can't because he's the reason you're in agony.
"As you know, I had also hated Y/N for what she had done. And now that you see me being friends with her is not because she's paying for Wonseok.", Wonwoo halts and takes a breath, choosing his words carefully, "It goes far beyond that. You have always been heedful, I think it's time for you to be vigilant as well. The truth might be far from what you've believed it to be."
Wonwoo doesn't spare another second on his watch as he walks away ignoring the desperate calls of his name.
Seungcheol's mind is not in place anymore.
Your thoughts are everywhere. Peace and happiness are some of the things you haven't gotten to feel lately. Though you've decided to spend time alone at home, the loneliness is caving you in.
Maybe tonight you're feeling a little more lonely than usual. Maybe you shouldn't miss the person who had pushed you to the edge of the cliff. Maybe you shouldn't be good with dates. Maybe you shouldn't trace your thumb on the calendar reminiscing about the day, you both had made it official years ago.
The damned tears aren't stopping, your heart isn't healing.
The bell rings and you are surprised because no one is supposed to visit you today. Quickly wiping your eyes and cheeks you don't bother to check the monitor and open the door.
At the other side of the threshold stands Seungcheol. Your red eyes gape at him as he looks at you shivering from driving all the way here in the snow.
"What are you doing here?"
You know getting your new address and number wouldn't be a big deal to Seungcheol given his network runs deeper.
"Can you let me in atleast, I'm freezing."
You cross over your arms and step aside. He saunters in and wanders off to have a tour of the house. He stops when he senses the glare you're sending him.
"If you realise that this house too plain for your taste you can always contact me. We're best in the business.", Seungcheol says as his lips purse in a line.
"I wonder from where did you get the audacity to come here?", you ask plainly.
"Just wanted to see you", he admits, "I miss you, Y/N."
You scoff at his words.
"Also, there's something you left behind, I found it while going through the drawers.", Seungcheol fishes out a notebook from his inner coat pocket.
You immediately recognise the object, raising your hand flat for him to handover it to you.
"I instantly got reminded of you always carrying it and scribbled down if anything came to your mind. Seems like you had kept this notebook from prior to university days.", he hands over the notebook and touches your hand gently in the process.
His touch turns to strong grip and he doesn't let go.
"Thanks.", you say trying to free your hand, "You should leave now."
The wedding ring on his finger feels cold on your skin.
"I know you remember what day it is today.", he says pulling you closer so that now you're colliding into him, your faces an inch apart. Your eyes are wide and the notebook falls as you're grabbing onto his shoulder out of reflex.
He has an undeniable look of longing in his eyes. You should just push him away, even kick him out but you find yourself frozen.
"I still remember falling in love with you, every moment of it.", he whispers, his gaze switching between your eyes and lips.
"So I do, Cheol.", his nickname slips out of your mouth so casually, there's a pause before you speak, "Why did you have to ruin it all?"
"I regret it all.", he gently holds your face, "But I realised that I never stopped loving you otherwise why would I despise you if I hadn't been in love in the first place."
"You could have broken my heart but you went after my soul."
"You did the same to me years ago. You took my soul away and I became just a shell.", he isn't complaining, just letting you know how difficult it was for him as well, "I planned everything to get back to you but what wasn't planned was my feelings resurfacing, falling in love with you all over again. I had forgotten all the schemes, had forgotten the reason why I hated you in the first place."
When he rests his forehead against yours, you close your eyes basking in the moment. What he did was definitely beyond any excuse but Seungcheol isn't entirely at fault. The fact that he was ready to start again with you after how you had treated him years ago proves the truth behind his words. The difference is you were forced to act out but he wasn't. He chose to destroy you.
So your eyes snap open and you're pushing him away.
"Leave Seungcheol.", you step away, "And never come back again."
Seungcheol sighs, "What should I do for you take me back? If you want I would never show myself in the vicinity of the academy. I wouldn't even ask you anything remotely related to your works or the academy. I'll stay all out of it, I promise."
"Nothing you do would make me go back to you.", your words taste bitter in your mouth, "We are not meant to be, we're not good for each other."
That is basically you firmly rejecting him, letting him aware that he has axed the mended fence.
Seungcheol smiles sadly, "Only if I could show you my heart and mind."
He then leaves with a heavy heart.
The next few days goes by Seungcheol racking his thoughts to make up his mind. Every time he thinks about you wanting to desperately cut ties with him, he relents. He laments on himself for what he has caused. At nights when he deliberately stays late, he mentally prepares himself to sign those papers because that's the only way to atone for his sins.
But those divorce papers get through every night without getting signed. Because when Seungcheol thinks he's ready that's when the realisation gnaws on him that he's actually not, that he'll never be.
And it gets harder each time he tries.
So one night, he lets his intrusive thoughts get the best of him and he ends up calling you.
"I'm trying but I can't bring myself to sign those papers", he speaks into the phone clutching it hard followed by a shaky breath, "I really want to give you what you want but whenever I think about not having you in my life, my willingness deters."
You stay quiet.
"Sorry to disturb you. Don't know what I was thinking. Please take care of yourself, bye.", he hangs up and collapses back on the chair.
Wonwoo watches through the blinds and he isn't new to this. Years ago Seungcheol had gone into a spiral, had almost given up on living post the breakup and now it hurts Wonwoo to see the history repeating itself.
So this time he promises to intervene for both of your sake, specially Seungcheol.
He has two things on his to-do list and though he isn't sure what the outcome will be, he's going to do them. He gathers everyone and let's them know of his plan.
"Mingyu, Eunsoo, Seungkwan", his gaze sweeps on the three, "You're gonna go and convince Y/N."
"I'll go to uncle and aunt.", Wonwoo says.
Eunsoo looks at him questionably, "We get our part. But are you sure your friend's gonna be okay?"
"Most importantly, I'm not sure how this will end because both of them are unpredictable as fuck.", Mingyu adds.
Seungkwan who was silent the whole time, speaks, "Guys, let's go for it. We will handle the aftermath.", he looks at Wonwoo, "You'll have to take care of Seungcheol because he's gonna hurt the most."
"It's better to be over it, Seungcheol deserves to know."
"What's wrong with you guys?", You ask absolutely astonished. All of your friends have suddenly busted into your house and are now advocating you on something that is supposed to be out of their box.
"Why are you suddenly siding with Seungcheol?", you say with a frown, "I'm feeling betrayed. I'm gonna call Chan now."
Eunsoo and Mingyu break into cold sweat knowing how scary your brother can be. Seungkwan sighs looking at the other two and gets that he has no other way but to sort down to what he's best at. He says, "Y/N, do you think we'd ever think ill of you? Do you think we'd be at your door because suddenly we felt emphatic towards Seungcheol? That's how lowly you think of us?"
The look on Mingyu and Eunsoo's faces are absolute comedic. They didn't expect Seungkwan would pull out his trump card.
Your gaze is unwavering when you say, "This won't work on me you know right?"
Seungkwan smiles, "Of course I know but we also know that you love Seungcheol and won't be happy without him. So we're saying all this just for your sake, not his, not anyone else's."
"You're wr-"
"You had 7 years but you couldn't get over him, even accepted his family just to marry him.", Seungkwan continues, "You had come across so many good men all these years but no one piqued your interest because you only had Seungcheol in your heart."
"Y/N, I did believe him when he said he fell in love again. I had seen the way he looked at you, the way he was protective around you. The way his eyes were always on you, radiating love. It may have started as an act but at some point it became real.", Eunsoo smiles at you, "He loves you."
"But Soo--"
"If you really loathed him, you wouldn't have waited for him to sign those divorce papers, you would have upsurged everything. You have the power to ruin the Chois wholly but you're just buying yourself some time.", Mingyi adds and immediately shifts to hug you, "What Seungcheol did was incredibly wrong, wait he didn't even do it. It was Jiah."
"Are you not getting Jiah did all just to separate you both again?", Seungkwan ask and you look at him wide eyed.
"She had done the exact thing years back and was successful. Please don't let her win again. If she can't have Seungcheol, she has planned all this for you to not have him as well.", Eunsoo voices out her concerns, "Don't let all these heartbreaks, tears and sacrifices go in vain just because of some misunderstandings. Don't do something you'd regret because you didn't mend it when you had a chance."
Your heart sinks at their words.
"Take your time but choose what you think is the best for you.", Eunsoo rubs your back gently, "Rationality shouldn't always take the stance, sometimes hearts should be listened to."
You take a deep breath and say, "Fine guys, I'll think about it."
The smile on their faces are unmatchable.
Seungcheol is worried when he receives a call from his mother asking him to urgently come to their house. Wonwoo is already waiting by the car and though Seungcheol asks if he knows anything he stays tight lipped throughout the ride.
"I'll be waiting for you right here. Call me if you need me.", Wonwoo says with an intone and for some reason it doesn't resonate well with Seungcheol.
He is led into his father's study where he sees both of his parents waiting. They are heartbroken seeing their only son. Seungcheol has lost weight, accumulated bags under red eyes, appearance unkempt.
"Take a seat.", his father says, "I have something to tell you and it's regarding Y/N."
Seungcheol immediately perks up at your mention. An eerie silence falls upon the room. Seungcheol's anxious gaze searches for his parents'.
"Y/N was forced to break up with you years ago. I had made her do so.", his father admits.
Seungcheol freezes. He thinks he's hearing things that are not supposed to make any sense.
"Ever since I had started the business I had been diligent to it. Dedication and honesty does account for success but so also being money minded and cunning. As years went by that consistency and success made me cling to riches, fame and status that came along with it.", his father says as he takes a seat gesturing him to do the same. "You must be remembering that we were facing financial crisis because one of our major investor had withdrawn. It had affected us greatly."
Seungcheol nods, "We were on the verge of facing bankruptcy."
"Since Jiah's father runs a finance company, we had made small sort of deals previously but that time the amount required was large and no one was willing to help us not even her father. But later Jiah came to me and offered me a deal."
"W-What deal?"
"That she would convince her father to provide us support only if", there's an ominous pause before Mr. Choi looks at him and says, "I remove Y/N out of your life."
A tear falls from his eye, as he hears the tale of betrayal from none other but his father.
"I have never liked Y/N, the reason was basic, she didn't belong to our circle. Initially I thought she was just a fling but so I agreed with Jiah."
Seungcheol is numb at this point, he just sorts to listening.
"One day I had brought in Y/N to let her know that she needs to find her way out of your life.", Mr. Choi's gaze falls, "She instantly refused. No matter what I said she wasn't willing to leave you. One meeting turned to two, two turned to three but she was hellbent on not letting you go."
"With Jiah constantly pressurizing me, threatening to nullify the deal if not taken action soon, I became desperate.", he confesses, "So I resorted to one thing I should have never done. I can never forgive myself for that."
You say in utter disbelief, "Why don't you tell your son to breakup with me instead? Stop pestering me, you know we both love each other and Mr. Choi let me make this clear, this is the last time I'm meeting you."
Mr. Choi gives you a sickening smile. He casually says, "Your brother is currently studying in Australia, if I'm not wrong."
You pale instantly, "W-What about him?"
"You're right, this is gonna be our last meeting. If you don't breakup with my son, I'm not sure what I'll do with your brother. What if you don't get to see your dear little brother anymore?"
"Mr. Choi, you can't do this. Please--"
"I'm not here to negotiate. I think you're smart enough to make the right choice. So tell me Y/N, what did you decide?"
You are crying and begging but there's no mercy reserved to spare for you. How are you supposed to choose between your brother and the love of your life? You will have to so you choose what's best for all, you choose both.
"Fine, I'll breakup with Seungcheol. So stay away from my brother."
Mr. Choi smiles in mirth, "You made the right descision. Rest assured."
With job being done, he is walking out of the hall when your call of his name reaches his ears.
He turns with an incredulous look on his face as he waits for you to speak.
"Promise me that you'll never tell Seungcheol about this incident.", comes your strained voice.
"I wasn't planning to anyways.", Mr. Choi says, "Even better for me, I promise to not tell Seungcheol about any of this."
Seungcheol runs to his father with the intention of doing something unspeakable but he stops right in front of him and collapses on the ground.
"How could you do this?", he sobs uncontrollably, "How could you stoop so low?", he balls his hands into fists and channels the anger on the floor, hitting it again and again that's when his mother steps in to stop him.
He looks at her and say, "How could you not tell me? How could you tolerate your husband even after knowing all this?", he then swats her away.
Getting up, he's gasping for air, unable to comprehend with the pain in his chest and head. Restlessness engulfs him but he doesn't let both of his parents to even touch him.
"I'm ashamed to call you both my parents.", he spats out, "I'll never forgive for ruining our lives. I hope all of this was worth it."
Then he's running out of the house ignoring the calls of his name. Wonwoo is immediately grabbing his friend, making him sit and drink water.
"You also knew but didn't tell me?", Seungcheol asks as fresh tears stream down his face.
"I only came to know recently and Cheol even if I had known, it's not my story to tell.", Wonwoo answers.
It takes Seungcheol over an hour to calm down.
"You don't need to attend me, I'm fine.", Seungcheol says stoicly, "You can go, I have somethings to take care of."
Though Wonwoo refutes but Seungcheol is adamant, leaving no choice for him but to obey his boss.
As soon as Wonwoo gets out of the car, Seungcheol drives off.
You are extremely tired, mentally and today for some reasons are you feel thinned out physically as well.
Staring at the cello, ominous thoughts fill in your mind. Because no matter how hard you try, you are unable to produce anything. There are no notes or no tunes, it's all blank.
And you're scared, what if music doesn't choose you anymore? What if you can't produce anything for the rest of your life? All these possibilities scares you enough to spend sleepless nights. It has disturbed your appetite as well.
Tossing and turning, as you've been doing for nights with minimal sleep at dawn hours, you sit up startled when the doorbell rings.
All the exhaustion is now replaced with concern when you see Seungcheol who continuously weeps at the door.
"What happened? Are you okay?"
Just a shake of head and he keeps on crying.
It's been about twenty minutes since he arrived crying and you're seriously considering about calling Wonwoo.
The way he's visibly hurting, hurts you too and you resort to hug him, patting his back, "If you're hurting because of me, please don't.", you say softly, tears pricking at your eyes subconsciously.
Seungcheol pulls away, looking at you. His sobs stop and the first thing he does is hold your face and kiss you. You're surprised, his lips graze yours but you don't kiss him back. Your hands push his chest and he's detaching himself mumbling a string of apologies.
"It was all for nothing.", he sounds so heartbroken when he speaks, "All those years spent in pain, hatred and resentment towards you, you didn't deserve any of it."
You have an inkling and it doesn't settle well in your bones, "Whatever you're saying is making no sense. Why are you here?"
Seungcheol looks dead in your eyes, "Because I know now. I know what happened all those years ago."
Your soul leaves your body at his words. You never wanted him to find out because you knew it'd tear him apart.
"W-Who told you?"
"Does it matter?"
And your very first instinct is to grab your phone and make a call to his father but Seungcheol doesn't let you. The phone gets snatched from your hands and thrown away somewhere.
"Why did you do it?", he asks and his questions irks you.
You scoff, "Are you seriously asking me why I did it after knowing everything? Seungcheol, I was threatened with my brother's life, what did you expect me to do?"
Seungcheol shakes his head, "No that Y/N. Why did you make dad promise you about not telling me about this?"
"What could I have done Seungcheol?", your voice cracks, "I loved you so much and trust me, I tried everything I could to be with you, to not hurt you but-- it killed me to lie to you. I went through hell and back trying to stop myself from telling you 'no I'm lying, please don't leave, I love you as much as you do'.
"That day I took your heart away.", You exhale sharply, "I didn't want to crush your soul as well, didn't want to make it anymore difficult for you then it already was. I knew how much you looked upto your father, how much you cherished your parents. I didn't want you to fight your family", your heart twinges as you continue, "Though it wasn't possible for me to love again, I prayed that you would move on, meet someone who'd make you forget all the sorrows I gave you. I wished for you to fall in love again and live happily."
You chuckled through your tears, "Won't lie, it would have hurt me but if it assured your happiness I'd have hurt myself all over again, all of the times."
Seungcheol observes you quietly, he absorbs your words to his heart.
"What does that make me, Y/N?", he asks defeated.
"You weren't at fault, Cheol. I chose what it seemed the best for all of us."
"I hated you, married you and plotted revenge. Hurt you and now indirectly lead to something that almost ruined your career.", he speaks as if he's narrating a monologue, "I kept wounding the wounded and siding with the foes."
"Stop blaming yourself. What you did was indeed wrong, you should have never attempted take a blow at my career. But years ago, even after all that you were ready to start again.", you remind him.
Seungcheol completely shuts himself out.
"Till yesterday, I was in a dilemma. They say if you love someone you should let them go. Call me selfish but I couldn't even think of parting ways with you. I wanted to fight for us. I'd have courted you until you got bored of me. I would have waited for a lifetime, even if you'd have moved on.", he avoids eye contact so that his resolution doesn't deter, "But how could I tie you to the people who tried to harm you, harm your family?"
"I won't beg for forgiveness anymore. Honestly, I don't want you to forgive us. If you're having second thoughts about us, discard them. Please just discard me.", he voices out in desperation, "Be selfish and choose yourself this one time."
He takes out a paper from his coat pocket which you recognise very well.
"Till yesterday signing these papers seemed impossible for me but it's surprising, how events turned out to be.", he takes your hand and places the paper saying, "I have signed them. This time I chose what's best for you."
There's a sickening churn in your stomach that makes you realise that there's nothing you can do.
"I love you, Y/N."
The weight of those words fall heavy on you as Seungcheol closes in.
"For one last time, please.", he says holding your face.
You incline towards him and instantly his lips are on yours. One of his hands now settle on your neck firmly as your lips dance on featherly. His other hand is gripping your waist to hold you in place. The saltiness of his tears burn on your tongue, making you suck in a gasp. His kisses you till his heart's content because it's a kiss of goodbye before resting his forehead on yours.
"Don't go", your strained voice whispers, "Please don't go."
Seungcheol whispers back, "I have to. Please don't stop me, I'm not strong enough to refuse you."
The tears stream down your face, "Would nothing I do be enough to stop you?"
"Y/N, please", he pleads, "You were right when you said we're not meant to be because I have only hurt you. I don't deserve you."
"Cheol..."
He steps back and you're suddenly engulfed by coldness.
"The chapter named Choi Seungcheol in your life ends right now.", he balls his hands, grits his teeth, does everything to not let those tears spill, "Since you might not submit the divorce papers, I have already handed over a copy to your attorney."
He turns back, rubbing his chest, the pain is unbearable.
"Cheol, please..."
"It's snowing so don't follow me outside, you'll catch a cold. Goodbye Y/N."
Then he leaves, from your house, apparently from your life.
And you realised not all stories have a happy ending, there's not always a happily ever after.
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delicate â geto suguru.
Suguru glared at Gojo. âIâm not concerned, I justââ âUhâuhuh, keep talking.â âIâm just some friendâacquaintance. Worried.â Suguru narrowed his eyes. âSeriously, Satoru. I donât know what youâre going on about. If I'm in love with them, shoot me.â Without missing a beat, Gojo grinned, âBang.â He made a playful gun gesture with his hand and gave Suguru a wide grin. âCupidâs bullets confirm!â
GENRE: Alternate Universe - Modern AU!;
WARNING/s: Fluff, Romance,, Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Light-Hearted, Slice of Life, Friendship, Confessions, Humor, Getting Together, Mutual Affection, Love, Pining, Kissing, Profanity, Mention of Fighting, Mention of Bruising, Outcast! Geto Suguru, Popular Cheerleader!Reader;
WORDS: 6.9k words.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: i made this while thinking about what dynamic i wanted to see between cute couples. and here we are. this was supposed to be shorter too, but it ended up way way longer than 4k words. but im satisfied with this. i hope you enjoy!!! i love you all <3
ADDENDUM: i just found out gege akutami said jjk ends in five chapters and i just want to say that this is going to be hard for me since ive been a fan since 2019.
but i will say ill continue to write as much as i can for this story, enjoy the anime with you for years to come. im sad of course, but im thankful. im grateful for gege akutami for letting me meet his lovely story and his bountiful characters.
and of course because of him, i met all of you. i am very grateful. from beginning to end. i am crying but i am happy too. i love jjk a lot you guys. hugs and kisses to manga fans everywhere. lets hope for a happy end to the story we have loved đ„čđ«¶
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kayu's playlist - side 900;
if you want to, tip! <3
°ââ.àłàż*:đ*à©đàŒâ
YOU WERENâT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. You were the it-girl, so sought after. The shining star. You were the girl everyone wanted to beâeffortlessly beautiful, charming, and the center of attention at Jujutsu College. As a cheerleader, you had it all: the admiration of your peers, the envy of others, and the kind of popularity that opened every door.
Everywhere you went, eyes followed. Whispers trailed in your wake, a symphony of awe and envy that only fueled your rise to the top. You were untouchable, your smile a weapon, your presence a force. Parties, events, and the campus buzzed with your name. Everyone wanted to be near you, to bask in the glow of your effortless charisma. But all of that came crashing down when you chose to stand up for what you believed was right.
The whispers got worse the moment they took to the locker room. One of the newer cheerleaders, a girl named Emi, was their targetâshy, awkward, and an easy mark for their cruelty. You watched it unfold for days, biting your tongue, hoping it would stop. They were the same, the seniors who already graduated. You let them do it then, because you hoped theyâd stop like the seniors did. But they did not. Instead, it went too far.
You looked at them for a moment, trying not to be obvious. This was going too far. The girl was about to cry, maybe sheâd even get even more hurt. This is enough. You cannot stay and just stay silent anymore. Maybe it was the memory of your own first days on the squad, when you werenât yet the queen bee, when you still had something to prove. Or maybe it was just a sense of fairness that you couldnât ignore. But you knew that this had to stop. This has to end.
"God, Emi, you canât even get a basic cheer right. Why are you even here?" one of the girls sneered, her voice dripping with disdain.
Emi stood frozen, her eyes welling up with tears. The other cheerleaders laughed, egging each other on, pushing her closer to the edge. You bit your lip, closing your locker with a loud bang, causing everyone to look at you. You could feel Emiâs eyes on you too, shaking with fear as tears fell from her cheeks.Â
âLeave her alone, you freaks!â you said, your voice sharp as you stepped forward. âThat is enough. She doesnât deserve this. Youâve gone too far, even more than our seniors!â
They turned to you, surprise flickering across their faces before it morphed into mockery. You moved forward to the captain, eyes narrowed as you glared at her. You shook your head at her. âJust leave her alone. Sheâs a freshman. She doesnât need your shit.â
âWhat, are you her knight in shining armor now?â one of the lackeys taunted, crossing her arms. âYouâre supposed to be on our side, arenât you? This is a tradition for us seniors.â
âIâm on the side thatâs not full of bullies.â you shot back, your anger boiling over. âBeing bullied doesnât mean you should be one!â
âWhatâs your problem?â another girl snapped, stepping closer, her tone threatening. âSheâs dead weight, and you know it.â
You clenched your fists, trying to keep your temper in check. âMy problem is that youâre all acting like a bunch of jerks. If you canât see that, then maybe youâre the dead weight.â
The tension in the room exploded like a storm that had been brewing for too long. You could feel it in the way the air seemed to thicken, in the way eyes narrowed and lips curled into sneers. It started with a harsh wordâone of those sly, cutting remarks that slid under the skin like a blade. But this time, you couldnât let it slide. Not when it was aimed at Emi, the quiet girl who had been on the receiving end of too many of those slights.
You were on your feet before you even realized it, the words spilling out of you in a rush of anger and defiance. âWhatâs your problem? Why do you always have to pick on someone whoâs done nothing to you?â
Your voice cut through the chatter, silencing the room. The others stared at you, shocked that youâof all peopleâwould dare to break ranks. The lead cheerleader, the queen bee, glared at you, her eyes narrowed into slits. âWhat, are you her bodyguard now? Donât act like youâre better than us.â
It was the spark that lit the fire. The room erupted into chaos as insults were hurled back and forth. You didnât back down, not when they turned their barbs on you, not when they sneered at Emi. It all escalated so fastâtoo fast. Suddenly, hands were shoving, nails were scratching, and before you knew it, you were in the middle of a full-blown fight.
You could barely make sense of it all. The adrenaline surged through you, drowning out the pain as someoneâs fist connected with your cheek, leaving a nasty bruise that would bloom later. All you could think about was protecting Emi, keeping her out of the fray, even as the world around you descended into chaos.
The chaos only ended when the coaches rushed in, their voices booming as they waded into the mess of tangled limbs and flaring tempers. They pulled you all apart, demanding to know what had happened, their faces a mix of shock and anger.
But it was too lateâthe damage was done. You could see it in their eyes, the way they looked at you now, like you were the problem. The principal was called in, and you found yourself standing in his office, staring at the floor as he lectured you about school spirit and the responsibilities that came with your position.
Your words fell on deaf ears. They didnât want to hear about the bullying, about how you were just trying to protect Emi. All they saw was the fight, the disruption, and the girl who had gone from golden to tarnished in a matter of minutes.
When you returned to the locker room, it was like a slap in the face. Your things had been removed from your team locker, stuffed unceremoniously into a bag and left on the floor. You were no longer welcome. The cheerleaders, the same girls who had once been your closest friends, looked at you with cold eyes and turned their backs.
You had wanted to protect Emi, and now you were left with a throbbing bruise, a reprimand from the principal, and a cold emptiness where your friends used to be. But even as you walked out of that locker room, head held high despite everything, you knew youâd do it all over again. Because some things were worth fighting for, even if it meant losing everything else.
The next day, you found yourself officially kicked off the squad. Well, Emi was also kicked out too, but you were glad that she wasnât at all hurt. That was what mattered. The news spread like wildfire, and the people who once idolized you now whispered behind your back. Your world felt like it was crumbling, and you couldnât help but wonder if youâd made the biggest mistake of your life.
Later that afternoon, you found yourself sitting alone outside, trying to process everything that had happened. Emi had repeatedly apologized to you today, but you kept waving her off and told her to stay safe around school. It wasnât really her fault. Maybe if you had acted much earlier, maybe Emi wouldnât have had to go through the worst. Perhaps this was your punishment. This was what happened because of your inaction. And you feel like you deserve this. You deserve to be punished like this. You could only sigh.
Thatâs when you heard someone approaching.
âYou know, I always thought cheerleaders were supposed to be a tight-knit group.â a voice drawled.Â
You looked up to see Gojo Satoru standing there, hands in his pockets, a mischievous smile playing on his lips. âGuess I was wrong, huh?â
âGuess so.â you muttered, feeling the sting of his words even though they werenât meant to hurt. âIâm sorry, have I met you before?â
âI donât think so.â He says, removing his round sunglasses. âHave we met before too?â
âDonât think so.â You admitted also, face scrunching in confusion. âI donât meddle around with unpopular kids.â
âHey, hey, Iâm not unpopular.â
âThen why have I never heard of your name before?â You raised your brow.
âI donât know, maybe you were too focused on being a cheerleader and me being a Digimon stan?âÂ
âOh, so youâre a nerd!â You clapped your hands together. âThat makes sense why I havenât heard about you.â
He sighed. âYou cheerleaders are cut throats, arenât you?â
âIâm an exâcheerleader now. Not really much of a cheerleader anymore.â You snickered. âThose pom pom waving mean girls, goodbye them!â
He plopped down next to you, stretching out his long legs. âSo, whatâs the plan now? Are you gonna go all lone wolf, or are you open to a new company?â
You raised an eyebrow at him. âWhy do you care?â
Gojo shrugged, his smile widening. âBecause Iâm curious about the girl who went from queen bee to outcast in one day. That takes guts.â
You couldnât help but laugh, though it came out a little bitter. âOr stupidity.â
âOr both, you know?â he agreed easily. âBut I like guts. So does Shoko. And Suguru. And Kento and Haibara. Youâd fit right in with us.â
âFit in?â you echoed, not sure if he was being serious. Your face reminded Satoru of how Kento reacted to him asking to be his friend.Â
âYeah.â he said, leaning back on his hands, looking up at the sky. âWeâre not exactly the most popular kids on campus, but weâre fun. And we donât care about that petty stuff.â
Before you could respond, Shoko Ieiri appeared, hands stuffed in her lab coat pockets, a cigarette dangling from her lips. âYouâre not bothering her, are you, Gojo?â
âMe? Bother someone? Never, Sho.â Gojo said, feigning innocence. âJust making a new friend.â
Shoko rolled her eyes and looked at you. âHeâs right, though. Youâre welcome to hang with us if you want.â
You hesitated, glancing between them. âI donât knowâŠâ
âDonât worry about it,â Shoko said with a lazy grin. âWe donât bite. Well, maybe Gojo does, but only if you ask nicely.â
You laughed again, this time more genuinely. âOkay⊠I guess Iâll give it a shot.â
As the days passed, you found yourself drifting away from the cheerleaders and into a new circle. It started subtly at first, with Gojo casually inviting you to sit with him and Shoko during lunch. Gojoâs easygoing nature made it hard to say no, and Shokoâs dry humor quickly drew you in.Â
They didnât seem to care about the drama that had turned your life upside down. Gojoâs bright grin and carefree attitude were a stark contrast to the cold shoulders youâd been getting from your former friends. Shoko, with her sharp wit and laid-back demeanor, offered a kind of friendship that felt refreshing, real in a way that the cheerleading squad never had.
Soon, Geto Suguru and Nanami Kento joined in. Suguru had a quiet confidence about him, a steady presence that was both comforting and intriguing. He didnât ask about the fight or why you werenât with the cheerleaders anymore. Instead, he offered a warm smile and an understanding nod, as if he knew without needing to be told.
Nanami, on the other hand, was more reserved. He didnât speak much at first, but his presence was reassuring. There was a steadiness to him, a sense of reliability that you hadnât realized you craved. He welcomed you into their group with a subtle nod, a small but genuine gesture that told you he saw you for who you were now, not who you had been before.
Each of them, in their own way, made room for you. They didnât treat you like the fallen star or the girl with the tarnished reputation. With them, you didnât have to pretend. You could be yourselfâno masks, no expectations.And slowly, you began to feel something you hadnât felt in a long time: belonging.
That afternoon, all of you were sitting together under a tree on campus, watching the world go by. Geto Suguru was in the middle of explaining something, his voice calm and soothing, while Nanami listened quietly, offering his thoughts every now and then. Yu was more excited trying to make friends with you than before. You think it's interesting, how this ball of sunshine saw you as some sort of superhero for what you did, even if you didnât.
Yu Haibara, ever the sunshine in human form, plopped down beside you with a grin. âHey, I heard about what happened with the cheer squad. Pretty badass, if you ask me.â
You smiled, feeling the warmth of genuine friendship for the first time in what felt like forever. âThanks. I wasnât sure if it was the right thing, butâŠâ
âIt was! Youâre so cool, you know?â Haibara said firmly. âStanding up for someone who needed it? Thatâs always the right thing.â
âBesides, itâs just what it is, you know?â Geto added, looking over at you. He was smoking his cigarette roll, one he made himself. âYou donât have to be what you arenât.â
âYeah.â Nanami agreed, his voice steady and reassuring. âYou donât have to pretend to be something youâre not with us.â
You looked around at themâthis group of people who had taken you in without hesitation, who saw you for who you really were, not just the image you had projected for so long. And for the first time in a while, you felt like you were exactly where you were meant to be.
As the weeks went by, you found a surprising sense of belonging with Gojo, Shoko, Suguru, Nanami, and Yu. They had become your new circle of friends, and their acceptance gave you a fresh start that you didnât know you needed. They were a new sort of fun, a different kind of excitement that was worlds apart from the polished, high-pressure life youâd known as the it-girl.
With them, your days became filled with spontaneous adventures. Gojo was always dragging everyone to the arcade, where his competitive streak made every game feel like a high-stakes challenge. Shoko would roll her eyes at his antics but still join in, her laughter adding to the cacophony of beeping machines and cheerful music. Suguru, ever the cool-headed one, had a knack for choosing the perfect music stores to visit, introducing you to tracks that soon became the soundtrack to this new chapter of your life.
Nanami and Suguru were more reserved, especially at first. You could tell they were still feeling you out, trying to figure out if you really fit into their group. But even in their uncertainty, they made an effort. Nanami, despite his serious demeanor, would show up at the burger joints Gojo loved, quietly indulging in the greasy food and ridiculous banter. Suguru, with his calm presence, would often give you a slight smile or a nod, a small but significant sign that you were being welcomed, even if it was cautiously.
Yu was the glue that held it all together, his infectious energy and boundless enthusiasm pulling everyone along. Satoru was as enthusiastic as he was, but unlike him â Yu was someone that tried to keep everyone in good peace together. And he was good. He had a way of making you feel included, whether it was by handing you a spare controller at the arcade or making sure you got the best seat at the burger joint.
Thatâs just how it was with them. You didnât have to worry about the petty dramas or the constant pressure to be perfect. With this group, it was all about the momentâthe thrill of a high score, the taste of a greasy burger, the discovery of a new song. And you liked it. You liked who you were becoming with them.
Gojo leaned back in his chair, tossing a sugar packet from one hand to the other. âYou know, you fit in with us better than you did with that cheer squad.â
You shot him a playful glare. âAre you saying I was too good for them?â
Shoko rolled her eyes. âStop teasing, Gojo. Youâre ruining the vibe.â
âHey, Iâm not!â Gojo argues as his grin spreads, âJust that our new friend here is way cooler than they ever gave them credit for.â
You looked at Shoko, who was sipping her coffee with a look of amused tolerance, added, âHeâs right. They were just too busy with their drama to see how awesome you are.â
Suguru, sitting across from you, offered a more thoughtful observation. He bit into his fries. âSometimes, it takes getting knocked down to realize where you truly belong. You were always meant to be with people who appreciate you for who you are.â
Nanami, who had been quietly observing, nodded in agreement. âYouâre a good blend with us, I think. Weâve had a lot of fun since you joined us.â
Yu Haibara, always the optimist, leaned in with a grin. âYeah, and youâve made things a lot more interesting around here. Itâs not every day we get someone with your⊠spirit.â
You smiled, feeling a warm flush of gratitude. âThanks, guys. I wasnât sure where Iâd fit in after everything that happened, but I really appreciate how welcoming youâve all been.â
The conversation shifted to lighter topics, and you found yourself laughing more than you had in a long time. It was a refreshing change from the pressure and pretense of your previous life.Â
As the night wore on, Gojo suddenly stood up and stretched. âHey, whoâs up for a late-night walk? I heard thereâs a new food truck downtown.â
Shoko raised an eyebrow. âYou just want an excuse to get more snacks.â
âGuilty as charged.â Gojo admitted with a wink. âBut youâre all welcome to join if youâre up for it.â
âSounds good to me.â Suguru said, standing up and grabbing his coat.Â
You looked around at your friends, feeling a genuine sense of contentment. âIâm in.â
âYou feeling cold?â Suguru asked as he saw you stand from the booth.Â
âA littleââ He threw you his jacket, which you were barely able to catch.
âPut it on.â
âOâoh, okay.â
As you all walked together through the city streets, the cool night air filled with laughter and conversation, you realized how different this life felt from the one you had left behind. There were no superficial judgments, no hidden agendasâjust a group of people who valued each otherâs company and had each otherâs backs.
Later, as you shared food and stories under the streetlights, you found yourself in a moment of quiet reflection. You had come so far from the popular girl who had been kicked out of the cheer squad. You were no longer defined by your past status or the mistakes youâd made. Instead, you were part of a new chapter, one where you were valued for who you truly were.
Gojoâs laughter broke through your thoughts as he tossed a piece of popcorn into the air, catching it with a grin. âSee? This is what lifeâs aboutâgood friends, good food, and not taking things too seriously.â
You laughed, feeling the weight of the past lift off your shoulders. âI couldnât agree more.â
In that moment, you knew that despite everything you had been through, you had found something real and genuine. And as you walked beside your new friends, you felt a renewed sense of hope for the future, knowing that wherever life took you next, you would face it with people who truly cared about you.
But in that moment, Geto Suguru looked at you and thought to himself for a moment, just for that moment â how good happiness looks on you.
°ââ.àłàż*:đ*à©đàŒâ
IF HE WAS BEING HONEST, HEâS NOT ONE TO TRUST PEOPLE EASILY. But coming from a rough place in life, it was something that canât be helped. So, in the beginning, Geto Suguru had his reservations about you. Heâd heard the rumors about the cheerleader who had once been the queen of Jujutsu College, and he wasnât impressed. To him, you seemed like just another snob who was used to getting their way and couldnât be bothered with anyone outside her circle.
When Gojo tried to blend you into the group, Suguruâs attitude was guarded, and for a good reason. So, he kept his distance and even interacted with you, he tried to be casual, trying to not get too deep into it.
He remembers what he said then â âIâm not really into the whole âcheerleaderâ thing,â heâd said with a shrug. âNot my style. So they're still not my style either.â
You had sensed his cold demeanor but tried not to let it bother you. Instead, you focused on being yourselfâfriendly, outgoing, and always ready to lend a hand. You wanted to prove that you werenât just the image people had of you. Even though you could still be rough in the edges with your personality, it didnât stop people from enjoying your company.Â
And over time, Geto Suguru began to see a different side of you. You didnât just laugh at his jokes or offer superficial compliments, nor were you as stuck up as people make you out to be; you were genuinely kind and considerate. You had a really good way of making others feel comfortable, and it wasnât long before he found himself intrigued by the real you, the one who went out of their way to help others despite their own struggles.
One evening, as the group hung out at a quiet park, you were sitting on the grass, talking animatedly about a new project you were excited about. If he was being honest, excitement was a beautiful color on you. And he thinks that he wants to see more of that in you. He could only sigh as he thought about how much youâve occupied his mind. He shakes his head. Suguru looks above the sky, trying to distract himself while Satoru spoke to everyone about his new date.Â
âYou know, Suguru.â you said, glancing over at him, snapping him back to reality. âI really appreciate how youâve been around lately. And how not awkward it is between us now. It means a lot to me.â
Suguru raised an eyebrow. âIâm just here because Gojo dragged me along. Donât get any ideas.â
You laughed, unfazed. âYeah, yeah. But seriously, youâre not as bad as I thought youâd be. I guess weâre not so different after all.â
He sighed, running a hand through his hair. âMaybe. But donât get the wrong idea. Iâm not here to make friends. Iâm here because I have to be.â
Despite his words, you noticed subtle changes in his behavior. He was more engaged in conversations around you, his smiles more frequent, and heâd even started teasing you back. You found yourself drawn to him more and more, your feelings shifting from admiration to something deeper. The way he would look at you, even with his usual aloofness, made your heart race.Â
After a particularly lively conversation about your favorite books, Suguru caught you off guard with a rare moment of vulnerability. He looked at you with an intensity that made your breath hitch.Â
âYouâre really persistent, you know that?â he said, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips. âI didnât think Iâd be saying this, but youâve managed to get under my skin.â
You grinned, feeling a rush of hope. âIs that a good thing?â
Suguru looked away, his expression turning more serious. âIâm not sure. I told myself Iâd just tolerate you, but⊠the more I hang around, the harder it is to keep my distance.â
He was fighting it, trying to convince himself that his growing feelings for you were nothing more than an annoyance. âI donât know what youâre trying to do.â he continued, frustration evident in his voice. âBut Iâm not someone who easily changes his mind. So donât expect too much.â
Despite his words, there was a softness in his eyes when he looked at you, a clear sign that he was fighting a losing battle. The more you interacted, the more he found himself charmed by your genuine warmth and infectious enthusiasm. And he didnât know what to feel about that. He doesnât know how to react to you.
You were infatuated with him, and it became clear that you wanted his attentionâmore than just casual conversation, more than friendly banter. You wanted to be the one who made him smile, the one he thought about when he was alone.
And though Suguru tried to keep his distance, you could see the cracks in his resolve. His stoic exterior was melting away, little by little, with every shared laugh, every meaningful conversation. He couldnât deny the way he felt any longer, no matter how much he tried to convince himself otherwise.
In moments of quiet, when it was just the two of you, Geto Suguruâs demeanor softened. He would catch himself gazing at you with an expression that betrayed his irritation with his own feelings. He was torn between his desire to remain aloof and the undeniable pull he felt towards you. As you continued to be your bubbly, charming self, Suguru found himself drawn to you more and more, fighting a battle he wasnât sure he wanted to win.
The house party was in full swing by the time you and your friends arrived. The sorority house was buzzing with energy, and the crowd was a mix of familiar faces and new ones. You were excited to be there, especially because you had a date with youâMark, a guy you had been seeing for a few weeks.Â
Suguru Geto, always the reserved observer, was there too, though he seemed more detached from the festivities. He had taken a spot near the snack table, his gaze scanning the room. When he noticed you with Mark, he gave a curt nod but didnât say much.
As the night progressed, Suguru found himself cornered by Mark, who was chatting animatedly with a group of people. You had gone off to mingle with others, leaving Mark to his own devices. Suguru, being the stand-up guy he was, decided to introduce himself.
âHey, Iâm Suguru.â he said, offering a polite smile. âSo, whatâs your story, bro?â
Mark took a swig of his drink and grinned. âOh, Iâm just here to have a good time, mess around, party hard. You know how it is.â
Suguru nodded, trying to make conversation. âYeah, I get it. So, how long have you and my friend been seeing each other?â
Markâs smile faltered slightly. âA few weeks. But, honestly, they're kind of a handful.â
Suguruâs eyes narrowed slightly, but he kept his tone neutral. âOh? How so?â
Mark shrugged, looking around to make sure no one else was listening. âTheyâre always so cheerful and in-your-face. It gets old pretty fast. And donât get me started on their mood swings. Sometimes theyâre all sunshine and other times, theyâre just⊠exhausting.â
Suguruâs smile faltered, and he could feel a simmering anger rising. âI wouldnât say that. Theyâre actually really kind and caring. Maybe theyâre just passionate around you.â
Mark snorted. âPassionate? More like overâdramatic. You must be used to it, though, considering you hang out with them.â
Suguruâs jaw tightened. âI think you should stop talking about them like that.â
Mark raised an eyebrow, clearly enjoying the reaction he was getting. âWhy? Itâs the truth. You know, they could be a lot better if they just⊠toned it down a bit.â
Suguruâs eyes darkened as he took a deep breath. âSeriously, stop it.â
Mark continued, oblivious to Suguruâs mounting frustration. âTheyâre always making everything about themselves, always trying to be the center of attention. I donât get why youâd even bother with them. Theyâre literally likeâŠ.a bitch..â
Without warning, Suguruâs hand tightened around his beer bottle. He took a step forward, his voice low and dangerous. âI said, stop.â
The tension in the room was thick, a simmering undercurrent that everyone felt but no one acknowledgedâuntil Mark pushed too far. He had been needling Suguru all night, his criticisms growing more pointed, more personal with each passing minute. The rest of you tried to steer the conversation away, but Mark wouldnât let it go, his words becoming sharper, crueler.
Suguru had been holding back, his calm facade cracking only slightly as he tried to keep his temper in check. But when Mark ignored him and continued with his relentless criticisms, something inside Suguru snapped.
In an instant, he moved. With a swift, fluid motion, Suguru swung his beer bottle, the action so smooth it was almost graceful. The bottle connected with Markâs face with a sharp crack. The impact was immediate and satisfying, sending Mark stumbling backward as beer splashed across the floor, the bottle shattering in Suguruâs hand.
The room fell into stunned silence.
âGoddamn it, Suguru!â Shokoâs voice was the first to break the quiet, a mix of shock and exasperation. She stepped forward, ready to pull Suguru back if needed, though there was a slight smirk playing at the corners of her mouth. âCouldnât you have at least waited until he finished his drink?â
Nanami, who had been lounging in the corner, raised an eyebrow but didnât move from his spot. âWell, that escalated quickly.â
Shoko sighed deeply, looking around. âIâll call someone to clean this up. And maybe get some ice for Mark.â
Mark, clutching his face where Suguru had punched him, looked up in stunned disbelief. âWhat the hell, man? Youâre crazy!â
Suguruâs eyes were cold as he glared down at him. âNo. Iâm done listening to your crap. You shouldâve known when to shut up.â
âYou all are a bunch of crazy freaks! Especially that bitch!â
âYou donât get to talk about them like that!â Suguru said, his voice steady but filled with a cold edge. âNot on my watch.â
Mark looked up at him, a mix of pain and surprise in his eyes. He didnât say anything, just backed away slowly, still holding his nose. Yu came between them. âHey, hey. Letâs all calm down, okay?â
Suguru turned on his heel and walked away, heading outside to cool down. He needed some fresh air and space to collect his thoughts. You, having witnessed the altercation from a distance, rushed over to Suguru, concern etched on your face.
You spotted Suguru standing alone in the hallway, his gaze distant as he tried to calm down from the confrontation. Determined to get some answers, you made a beeline for him, your concern and curiosity palpable.
âSuguru, what happened back there?â you asked, trying to piece together the events of the night. âWhy did you hit Mark?â
Suguru glanced at you, his expression a mix of embarrassment and frustration. âIt was nothing. He just⊠he crossed a line.â
âNo,â you said, putting the pieces together with a sudden burst of realization. âHe called me a bitch, didnât he? Thatâs why you hit him. You hit him for me!â
Suguru looked away, his cheeks tinged with a hint of pink. âNo, thatâs notââ
âYes, it is!â you interrupted, your excitement and relief bubbling over. âI know I can be a lot sometimes, and I am a bitch! But you actually care about me. You love me, donât you?â
Suguruâs face turned a deeper shade of red, and he mumbled, âNoâŠI didnâtâŠâ
Suguruâs thoughts were still a whirlwind, his mind racing to process the events of the night and the emotions that came with them. He needed to clear his head, and talking to Gojo seemed like the quickest way to do that. He excused himself and quickly went back inside. As he entered the kitchen, the room was a stark contrast to the chaos outsideâbright, warm, and filled with the comforting aroma of Gojo Satoruâs sandwich-making.
Gojo stood by the counter, casually assembling a towering sandwich with practiced ease. His movements were relaxed and carefree, a stark contrast to the tension that Suguru was radiating. He glanced up, taking in the scene with a curious, slightly amused expression.
âWhatâs going on, man?â Gojo asked, his tone light as he continued to layer on the ingredients. âI heard there was a bit of a commotion.â
Suguru tried to compose himself, but the frustration was evident in his voice. âMark was being a complete jerk. He was bad-mouthing them, and I⊠I lost my temper.â
Gojo raised an eyebrow, his interest piqued. âHe was talking about them? What did he say?â
Suguruâs jaw clenched as he recounted the encounter. âHe kept going on about how they are a handful and how theyâre exhausting. He was just being really disrespectful. Even called them a bitch, mind you!â
Gojoâs eyebrows knitted together in surprise. âAnd you punched him for it?â
Suguru nodded, his gaze intense. âYeah, I did. He wouldnât stop, and I just couldnât let him keep talking like that.â
Gojoâs expression shifted from amusement to genuine concern. âAre they okay?â
Suguruâs frustration softened a bit as he considered your well-being. âTheyâre fine. I mean, they did seem surprised, maybe in some way upset, I donât know. But theyâre okay. Itâs just⊠I donât like seeing them being talked about like that.â
Gojoâs eyes sparkled with a mix of mischief and understanding. âSo, youâre defending them, huh?â
Suguruâs face flushed slightly, and he rubbed the back of his neck. âItâs not just about defending them. Itâs justââ
Gojo looked up from his sandwich-making with a raised eyebrow. âYeah, but is your lover okay?â
Suguru froze, caught off guard. âThey are not my lover, Gojo.â he snapped, defensively. âThey are justââ
Gojoâs eyes sparkled with mischief. âOh? Then whyâd you hit him? Seems like youâre more concerned than youâre letting on.â
Suguru glared at Gojo. âIâm not concerned, I justââ
âUhâuhuh, keep talking.â
âIâm just some friendâacquaintance. Worried.â Suguru narrowed his eyes. âSeriously, Satoru. I donât know what youâre going on about. If I'm in love with them, shoot me.â
Without missing a beat, Gojo grinned, âBang.â He made a playful gun gesture with his hand and gave Suguru a wide grin. âCupidâs bullets confirm!â
Suguru stared at him, dumbfounded. âAre you serious? This is notââ
Gojo laughed, clearly enjoying the confusion. âJust kidding, Suguru. You know Iâm just messing with you.â
Suguru sighed heavily, his frustration giving way to a reluctant chuckle. âYouâre impossible, you know that?â
Gojo shrugged, still grinning. âJust having a bit of fun. But seriously, if you need to talk or if somethingâs going on, Iâm here. Just donât let things like this get you too worked up.â
Suguru nodded, a mix of relief and embarrassment on his face. âThanks, Gojo. I guess I needed that.â
With a final, reassuring pat on Suguruâs shoulder, Gojo returned to his sandwich-making. He took a deep breath and went back outside. You were talking with Shoko when you noticed Suguru come back outside towards your way. You were about to speak when Suguru turned back to you. There was a softer, more earnest look in his eyes as he met your gaze.
He looked at you with a determination, his voice steady but kind. âTake your coat, doll.â he said, offering it to you. âWeâre getting out of here.â
You raised an eyebrow, surprised by his sudden decision but relieved by the prospect of escaping the party. Without protest, you slipped on your coat and followed him out into the cool night air. The contrast between the cold outside and the warmth of the party was a welcome change, the crisp air a refreshing balm against your senses.
As you walked to the parking lot, Suguruâs silence was a comforting presence. His demeanor was calm and purposeful, a stark contrast to the turbulence of the evening. He led you to his car, and you both got in, the engineâs hum a soothing sound against the backdrop of the night.
Soon enough, you found yourselves parked in the lot of a nearby fast-food chain. The neon lights of the restaurant flickered against the dark sky, casting an almost surreal glow over the scene. It felt like a world away from the party, a simple, unpretentious refuge.
Suguru ordered a handful of burgers and fries, his movements deliberate and focused. You followed suit, choosing your favorites with a sense of familiarity. As you both settled on the hood of the car, the comfort of the fast food and the tranquility of the night began to ease the tension.
You took a bite of your burger, the flavors surprisingly comforting. Despite the simplicity of the setting, there was something deeply satisfying about the moment. âThis is the best date ever.â you said with a grin, the warmth of the food and Suguruâs presence making the night feel a little brighter.
Suguru looked at you, a bemused expression on his face. âWe havenât talked in half an hour.â
âThat doesnât matter,â you said, shaking your head. âItâs nice just being with you, even if this doesnât seem like much.â
Suguru looked away, a soft smile tugging at his lips. âItâs not as bad as going bowling.â
You blinked, puzzled. âBowling? I didnât know you liked bowling.â
He shrugged, leaning back against the car. âI do. Itâs something I enjoy, and being with you is kind of like thatâenjoyable and relaxing, even if itâs not always fancy.â
You tilted your head, contemplating his words. Then, feeling bold, you leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. Suguruâs eyes widened slightly, but he responded, kissing you back with a tenderness that melted away any remaining tension.
When you finally parted, you looked up at him, a soft smile on your lips. âNot too bad?â
Suguruâs gaze softened as he met your eyes, a genuine smile spreading across his face. âNot too bad.â he agreed, his voice warm.
You both shared a comfortable silence, the world outside the fast-food restaurant feeling a million miles away. As you finished your burgers and settled back into a peaceful quiet, you knew that despite everything, moments like these were what mattered most.
You and Suguru remained on the car hood, finishing off the last of your burgers. The night was crisp and clear, the occasional hum of passing cars providing a steady backdrop to your conversation.
âSo, whatâs your favorite part about bowling?â you asked, genuinely curious and trying to keep the mood light.
Suguru chuckled, a soft sound that warmed the chilly air. âItâs the combination of skill and luck, I guess. Plus, itâs fun to just throw the ball and watch it knock down the pins. Itâs simple, but satisfying.â
You smiled, enjoying his enthusiasm. âMaybe we should go bowling sometime. It sounds like it could be a lot of fun.â
Suguruâs eyes twinkled as he looked at you. âIâd like that. I think youâd be pretty good at it. Youâve got a good arm from throwing those frisbees around at the park.â
You laughed, leaning into him. âYou think so? Iâll hold you to that.â
Suguru wrapped an arm around you, pulling you closer. âItâs a promise.â
The warmth of his embrace was comforting, and you snuggled closer, resting your head on his shoulder. The night was quiet, and for a while, you just enjoyed the peacefulness of the moment.
Suguru glanced at you, his expression softening even further. âYou know, despite everything that happened tonight, Iâm really glad we ended up here. I like these moments with you. They remind me of why I care so much.â
You tilted your head up to look at him, your eyes reflecting the soft glow of the streetlights. âMe too, Suguru. Itâs the simple things, like eating burgers and talking about bowling, that make me realize how much I enjoy being with you.â
Suguru gave a small, affectionate smile, his fingers gently brushing against your cheek. âSometimes, itâs the simple things that mean the most.â
You sighed contentedly, feeling a deep sense of connection. âI guess thatâs true. And, even though tonight didnât go as planned, it ended up being pretty perfect in its own way.â
Suguru chuckled softly, his gaze fixed on you. âYeah, it did.â
You both sat there for a while longer, sharing soft kisses and quiet laughter, savoring the simplicity of the moment. The night air was cool, but the warmth between you made it feel like the coziest place in the world.
Eventually, Suguru shifted slightly, pulling you closer as he gave you a tender kiss on the forehead. âLetâs head back. I think weâve had enough excitement for one night.â
You nodded, standing up and stretching as Suguru helped you off the car hood. âSounds good. But we definitely need to plan that bowling trip soon.â
Suguru laughed, offering you his hand. âItâs a date.â
As you walked back to the car, hand in hand, the night seemed a little brighter, and the world a little warmer. The small, spontaneous moments were what made your time together truly special, and you both knew that, no matter what, youâd always find a way to cherish them.
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#jujutsu kaisen x y/n#geto suguru#suguru geto#geto#suguru#geto suguru x y/n#geto suguru x reader#geto suguru x you#suguru geto x y/n#suguru geto x reader#suguru geto x you#geto x reader#geto x you#geto x y/n#getou suguru x reader#suguru x reader#suguru x you#suguru x y/n#gojo satoru#shoko ieri#nanami kento#haibara yu#kayu writes ! ! !
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my guardian demon sucks at his job (not clickbait)
â look, i accidentally summoned jeonghan from my statistics textbook the day before you met him at the olive garden. â
PAIRING âž demon!yoon jeonghan x fem!reader
GENRES âž smut, fluff, humor, angst, supernatural, demon au
WARNINGS âž not so biblically accurate, profanity, slowburn, found family, inspirations from mythology and h. p. lovecraft, lots of banter, alcohol consumption, sexual tension, teasing, dirty talk, oral (fem. receiving), fingering, palming, unprotected sex (wrap before you tap), mc is painfully horny, ft. demon!shua and demon!wonwooÂ
SUMMARY âž just when you thought your luck couldn't get any worse, you accidentally manage to summon an ancient demon prince named jeonghan out of a scrap of paper from your statistics textbook. now, you're tasked with figuring out how to return your so-called "guardian demon" back to where he came from before he can stir up more trouble.
PLAYLIST ➠our dawn is hotter than day by seventeen ⹠cruel summer by taylor swift
WORD COUNT âž 23,610 words
TAG LIST âž @byunfirstladyâ @90s-belladonnaâ @knucklesdeepmingiâ @xlovetteâ @variety-is-the-joy-of-lifeâ @hatesbutlovespeople7734â @goquokkaâ
AUTHORâS NOTE âž i had so much fun writing this so i hope you guys enjoy this one!! thank you so much for supporting my works ⥠lmk what u think!
TO BE FAIR, YOU REALLY DIDNâT EXPECT THE SPELL TO WORK.
You initially thought the scrap of paper you found in your statistics textbook was someoneâs torn-up Latin homework. You borrowed the copy from the library earlier in the day, realizing that the only way you would pass your midterm would be if you actually studied. Wedged between the pages of Chapter Three - Linear Regression was the dubious piece of paper. Â
You thought nothing of it at first. You turned a blind eye to how it was yellowed due to age, thinking it was just left behind by accident. It didnât even cross your mind about how strange it was that someone left their Latin homework in a statistics textbook.
There was no real reason why you read the words aloud. You thought it could act as some sort of good luck charmâsomething that could manifest good grades on your examsâbut you ended up with the exact opposite.
The paper started glowing, but it wasnât bright light; a void of pitch darkness emitted from the scrap instead. Mind you, it was nearly the middle of the night. It was already dark, but your room was starting to look like you had opened up a schism in space.
You dropped the paper in the middle of the room instinctively, hissing lightly at how it nearly froze your fingers off. Your roomâs temperature dropped by several degrees, and if you werenât internally freaking out about the random black hole in the middle of your room, you would have curled up in your blankets.
This was one hell of a karmic retribution for slacking on your work for half the semester.
You could hardly see the paper, but you could see faint smoke coming from the middle of the source. It seeped along your bedroom floor, and you contemplated calling your roommate for help before realizing that you, in fact, had no roommate and lived alone.
From there, the paper seemed to crumple up and dissipate into thin air. Instead, a shadowy figure emerged from the smoke. You were not religious by any means, but you felt like this was probably the best time to start praying to whatever higher power was out there.
Light returned to the room once the darkness and smoke faded away. You could now make out the entityâs figure more clearly, noting how it towered over you with sharp horns sticking out from its tuft of hair. Once you could see well enough to make out its face, you were met with what you thought was a human, though the horns and red eyes were throwing you in for a loop.
Humans often had four different psychological responses to traumatic or stressful experiences:
Fight: facing any perceived threat head-on.
Flight: running away from the perceived threat.
Fawn: resorting to appealing to the perceived threat to avoid potential conflict.
Freeze: being unable to move or act against the perceived threat.
Being the absolute weapon of survival you were, your body chose to freeze.
The thing just stared at you until its mouth stretched into a lazy smirk. âHey, Iâmââ
In seconds, your body moved on its own. As soon as you heard the smallest sound come from the being, you grabbed your backpack that was leaning against your bed frame, and you started swinging at the entity with it.
You chose to fight.
You were no longer useless.
âOw!â the thing winced, shrinking back with each blow. You were slightly worried about breaking your laptop inside, but you were currently prioritizing your life more. âCut it out!â
You got a better look at this thing. He was clearly attractive with his strong jawline and dark, sleepy eyesâassuming he was even a dude in the first place. You still kept your guard up around Pretty Boy, though, considering he had just Harry Potterâd his way into your bedroom.
âWhoâwhat are you?â you spluttered, holding your backpack up in a (hopefully) threatening way.
âMe?â Pretty Boy grinned. âIâm your demon.â
What in the Wizards of Waverly Place was this man talking about? You stared blankly at the guy before taking a careful step backward. Of course, there were far too many supernatural elements packed into the last minute for you to completely shut down the idea, but it sounded downright crazy. This was something that only happened in books and movies, and they werenât supposed to be hot!
âA⊠a demon? From Hell?â
âYes, thatâs usually where demons tend to be from.â
Great, this âdemonâ was a smart-ass, too.
âWhatâs a demon?â you asked. It took you a few moments to realize that you had, in fact, asked an extremely stupid question. Of course you knew what a demon was; you didnât have to be a religious studies major to know about all the Jesus and Satan lore.
âIâm glad you asked,â said demon started, although he didnât seem to be glad at all. âThere are demons that should be summoned, and there are demons that should not be summoned. Can you guess which one I am?â
âUhâŠâ You deliberated carefully. âYouâre a demon that can be summoned.â
âWrong!â Pretty Boy answered. âIâm a demon that shouldnât be summoned, so I need you to explain how on Earth you summoned me.â
âIâI thought you said you were my demon.â
âI am,â he said, âbecause most demons can only be summoned by their designated human, which you did, but I, of all demons, am not meant to be summoned and trapped in this realm! How in Luciferâs name did you summon me, human?â
You held up a hand to keep him from charging forward at you. âFirst of all, my name is Y/N. Shouldnât you be familiar with your own humanâs name? Second of all, what do you mean by âdesignated humanâ?â
Pretty Boy sighed. âIâm supposed to be your assigned demon.â
You frowned. âSupposed to be?â
âYeah, sorry, Iâve kind of been neglecting you. Totally forgot your name and everything.â He hummed inquisitively. âRemind me of it again?â
âY/N,â you repeated carefully, slightly offended. âWhat the hell is an assigned demon?â
âIf I tell you,â he started in a somber tone, and you hung onto every word, worrying at your lip and fearing something dreadful would happen, âthen itâs no fun.â
He had to be fucking with you.
âNo fun?â you questioned. âAre you kidding?â
âI happen to be very serious,â he answered, âand Iâm getting the feeling that youâre a bit of a kill-joy, human.â
âListen,â you spat, âI have a stats midterm tomorrow, so you better start talking before I get back to studying and ignore you.â
âFine,â he complied. âThink of it, like⊠a guardian demon.â
âDamn.â You looked up at him with wide eyes. âIf I give you my soul, can you help me pass my midterm?â
âThatâs not quite how it works, and I may be a demon, but thatâs a pretty stupid request in exchange for your soul,â he deadpanned. âOkay, now tell me how you summoned me.â
Your gaze dropped to the spot on the floor where the black void opened up. You recalled the slip of paper disintegrating into thin air once the demon appeared. You were certain that was the key to this bizarre merging of two realms.
âUh,â you said, âthere was a piece of paper with some Latin written on it. You appeared after I read the words out loud.â
And after turning your room into an arctic tundra.
Pretty Boyâs face fell upon your words. You were shocked that the demon looked so crest-fallen all of a sudden, and it was making you feel a bit guilty for dragging him out of Hell.
You decided to ask, âAre you okay?â
âI am not okay, I am Yoon Jeonghan, one of the seven princes of Hell,â he started angrily, causing you to take a cautious step backward. âI am Greed, the creator of alchemy, forger of the Twin Blade, constructor of theââ The demon cut himself off when you held up a fist to your mouth to keep yourself from laughing. âW-what? Whatâs so funny, human?â
âIâm sorry,â you apologized quickly, accidentally letting a giggle slip from your lips, âbut thereâs no way some pretty face like you is a demon prince.â
âI emerged from an opening in the ground, and you still refuse to believe Iâm a demon?â
âWellââ
âHuman, do you know why a âpretty faceâ like me is a demon prince?â Pretty Demon Boy a.k.a Jeonghan inquired, stepping closer until you were backed up against your desk. âThe King of all demons himself was once considered the most beautiful of all angels. Why?â With three fingers, he tilted your chin up enough for you to take a good look at himâat the swirling dark red in his eyes. âBecause demons represent temptation.â
âTemptation,â you echoed, embarrassed that your voice came out more strangled than intended. âYeah, well, Iâm really tempted to kick your ass back to Hell right now.â
You supposed he was onto something, in a sense. Maybe Jeonghan was telling the truth because you couldnât focus on anything else but how his lips were nearing yours. It was as if your senses had completely clouded over.
Upon your words, however, he dropped his gaze and pulled away from you. Jeonghan looked saddened, which was a sight you had not expected from the smug-faced demon. You werenât educated on demon lore or anything, but you were quite surprised that they were capable of feeling such human emotions.
âThere are ways demons can be summoned,â he said in a somber voice. âIf we are summoned by our names, then we can appear and promptly return to Hell. Incantations, though, are tricky; with negligence, there is a possibility that Iâm stuck here.â
âStuck here?â you asked, raising your voice. âWhat do you mean? You canât go back?â
âWell, do you remember the words on that piece of paper?â
âNo.â
âThen I donât have a way of going back, dumbass.â
You huffed. âI didnât know a demon prince could have the vocabulary of a middle school boy.â
âWe can speak any language on this planet and adapt to modern slang,â he explained. âI can also speak dolphin. Wanna hear?â
âNo, letâs circle back to getting you back to Hell,â you shut him down before he started using echolocation. âThere has to be some other way, right?â
âWe have a few options, actually,â he said, sitting on the edge of your bed. You cringed at the thought of the intruder making himself at home, but you supposed you were the one who got him in this mess, anyway. It wouldnât be smart for you to boss him around, especially since he could overtake you easily. âEither you remember the incantation, or⊠actually, I havenât thought that far ahead yet.â
âSo, we only have one option?â you clarified. âI have the memory of a goldfish, so I think youâre fucked.â You scratched your neck in thought. âCanât you call one of your demon buddies to bring you back?â
âDemon buddies?â He laughed coldly. âWe arenât exactly buddy-buddy down there.â
âThen why do you wanna go back so bad?â
âThis materialized human form of mine will not last me very long,â he replied gravely, though you werenât quite convinced the horns and red eyes were doing him any favors. âNormally, I could be up here for as long as I want, but my powers are weak right now. I will eventually perish like this, unlessâŠâ
âUnless?â
âUnless I kill an angel.â
After your morbid conversation with Jeonghan, you decided you would deal with the issue after your midterm. The demon insisted that he would not be able to leave your side since you summoned him, so that led to him sleeping on your floor. To your horror, he was pleasantly satisfied with this sleeping arrangement, claiming it was âbetter than being boiled alive in oil.â
His bedroom in Hell didnât sound very cozy.
The next morning, you woke to an email notification that your midterm had been canceled. Something about your professor falling sick out of nowhere.
You wanted to rejoice, but you couldnât help but feel that this was because of Jeonghan. This was probably the whole âguardian demonâ thing, but he was causing chaos and disorder to get you what you wanted. It left an uneasy feeling, but, regardless, you were satisfied with not taking an exam.
Anyway, why was Jeonghan, self-proclaimed prince of demons, assigned to be your guardian? When you turned in your bed to see him sitting at your desk and staring at your textbook, you asked him the question that was bugging you.
He scoffed and replied, âI donât know. Luck?â
You narrowed your eyes. âIs it really lucky that a demon prince was assigned to me? Sounds a little unnerving.â
âThat just means you have a powerful demon on your side.â He smirked and leaned in to ask, âWere you happy to see your midterm canceled this morning?â
âSo it was you!â you exclaimed. âLook, I appreciate it and everything, but you canât just make people sick to help me out.â
âI canât?â He looked surprisingly innocent when you reprimanded him, like a seven-year-old being told not to color on the walls. âI didnât even murder him or anything.â
âThatâthatâs also pretty bad,â you stammered. âLetâs not do any of that, okay?â
âBut thatâs no fun.â
âThis isnât about having fun! These are peopleâs lives. How would you feel if I harmed one of the other demon princes for fun?â
âThatâs hot. Iâd probably cum in my pants.â
âOkay, maybe that was a bad example,â you grumbled. âIs there anyone you care about down there?â
âNot down there, not up here,â he replied. âIâm a demon, remember? Thereâs no one who cares for me, so I donât care for anyone either.â
âWow,â you said. âYou could be the poster boy for 2012 Tumblr angst.â
âIâll pretend I understood that, human.â
There was something bothering you, though. Jeonghanâs words last night about killing an angel were parroting in your head. You couldnât shake off the guilt that he could potentially die on Earth because of you, but it felt immoral to kill an angel to return to his prison in Hell. On the other hand, you couldnât bear to see him perish because of you.
âHow long do you have?â you asked. âYou know⊠to live.â
âHm⊠Iâd say about 718 years?â
âOh, what the fuck? Youâre chilling.â
âIn Hell time.â
You frowned. âHow long is that in Earth years?â
Jeonghanâs gaze flew to the ceiling as he tried to calculate the math in his head, using his fingers to count off. âThatâs about half an Earth year, so, like, six months.â
âOh no,â you replied in absolute dread, âand youâre still planning on killing an angel?â
âIf thatâs the only way to save meâyes.â
âWell, how do you even find one?â
âI can sense their presence,â he said before standing up. âCome on, human. Youâll have to show me around your world so that I can remember the mortal way of life.â
âI guess, but firstââyou stopped him by raising your handââyouâll have to get rid of those horns.â
Once Jeonghan concealed his horns and changed his eyes to a more socially acceptable color, you gave him the green light to go outside. He looked good like this, but he was attracting too much attention. The demon simply had too big of an ego to tone down the attractiveness, so you were stuck walking around with a chick magnet.
âYouâre a demon,â you whispered harshly. âYouâre telling me you donât have any ugly forms?â
Jeonghan sighed. âThat is the unfortunate curse of a demon. We canât help that our beauty is so blinding.â
You wanted to punch him. The boiling oil prison bed wasnât a curse, but this was?
âWell, people are staring, and itâs making me uncomfortable. Iâve never been the center of attentionâor, well, around the center of attention.â
âThen would you like me to gouge out their eyeballs with a dagger?â
âNo!â you yelled. âNo, there will be no gouging of eyeballs!â
You started going off on your Murder Is Normally Socially Unacceptable And Wrong tangent up until you realized that Jeonghan was no longer next to you. Fear shot up your spine right before you spotted him standing in front of an Olive Garden that you two had walked past earlier.
âJeonghan, what are you doing?â you asked, frowning. âLetâs keep walking.â
âHuman,â he said, clearly ignoring your words, âtake me into this restaurant.â
âYouâre hungry?â When he nodded, you sighed and complied, saying, âAlright, then, Iâll pay.â
You were worried that the demon wouldnât behave properly, but, to your surprise, he stood to the side and let you do the talking. You found his shy smile strangely endearing, especially when he tilted his head after the waitress asked if you two were a couple.
âYes,â he answered before you could shut it down. âWeâve come in a pair.â
You forced a laugh, glancing at the waitress to make sure she didnât think you two were absolute nutjobs. Well, you supposed it had no effect on you if your psychotic demon was perceived as one, but you were 100% normal across the board. Thankfully, the waitress laughed it off and asked if either of you wanted anything to drink.
You smiled. âJust water, please.â
âDo you have any blood?â Jeonghan asked at the same time.
Your head shot up to see his furrowed brows as he tried to decipher the Italian dishes on the menu. At this point, you were mortified and could positively say that you were not taking Jeonghan outside after this. Youâd rather be stuck in his boiling oil prison than be put through this torment.
âB-Bloody Mary?â the waitress asked.
âOh, is this Mary providing the blood? I donât really care to know who exactly she is, but I appreciate theââ
âYeah, he meant a Bloody Mary,â you cut in loudly, putting on a sugary sweet smile for her. You turned to the demon with a warning look in your eyes, but you kept up the playful act as you chided, âJeonghan! I told you to quit with the pranks here!â
âOh, you two are so funny,â the waitress gushed. âIâll be right back with your drinks.â
âThank you!â you chirped. When she was out of sight, you dropped your fake smile so you could kick the living crap out of the demonâs shin. He winced and raised a brow at you. âWhat made you think you could ask for blood at a restaurant?â
Jeonghan scoffed. âIâm a demon.â
âOh, really? I wouldnât have guessed from the hundred times youâve mentioned it.â
âI canât eat this food.â Jeonghan put the menu down and ran his fingers down the list of options. âWell, I suppose I could stomach it for sustenance, but it wonât satisfy my hunger.â
âThen what do you need to eat?â you asked, expecting to hear something morbid.
âWell, human blood or flesh would help,â he said. Just as you thoughtâmorbid. Then, after a moment of thought, he added, âor⊠Iâd need to have sex.â
âS-sex?!â you exclaimed. You tried not to choke on air, which failed about five seconds later. Never in your life did you expect hellbound demons to be so lecherous. Well, it made perfect sense, but it was still odd to think about. âYouâre telling me the only way you can be fed is by cannibalism or sex?â
âCannibalism is a strong word.â
âCannibalism is the only word for people who eat other people!â
âIâm not a person,â he defended. âIâm a demon. I believe you humans call this âthe food cycle,â am I right?â
You leaned back in your seat to groan into your hands. âI guess weâre just gonna have to find a way to get you back before you get too hungry. How long can you go without food?â
âProbably forever if I was in Hell,â Jeonghan said, âbut I feel really hungry.â
âIs this some ulterior motive to get into my pants?â
Jeonghan barked out a laugh. âHuman, do you know who the Seven Deadly Sins are?â
âSort of? Iâve seen the anime.â
âTheyâre the seven human vices, and Iâm Greed,â he explained. âOther than me, thereâs Lust, Wrath, Envy, Sloth, Gluttony, and Pride. Many say that Pride is the worst of them all, but I am destructive at every level. Greed is what breaks a person down and then brings them to destroy the world around them.â
His voice was pitched deeper when he continued, âGreed is the sin that can never be satisifed.â
âO-okay,â you said carefully, âso why are you telling me this?â
âIâm telling you this because youâre pretty naive for someone who summoned a demon as powerful as I am,â he replied calmly. âIâm Greed, so of course that was an ulterior motive to get into your pants.â
Oh.
Awkward.
You werenât sure if you were blushing because Jeonghan was hot or because no man had ever been so direct with you. For what it was worth, you were positive that the warm feeling in your chest wasnât because you were flattered or anything. Being asked for sex in the middle of a restaurant wasnât hot in the slightest bit, and especially after he proceeded to mansplain how he was a manipulative, conniving bastard.
âDonât feel pressured,â he said.
Although those were the words that came out of his mouth, you could feel the impatience seeping from him. However, it had you thinking that this could become some sort of transaction. You would surely feel used if you let him get what he wanted so easily, but you would definitely be swayed if there was something in it for you. Plus, Jeonghan was unmistakably attractive, which was probably simply the devilâs temptation getting to you.
âIf I let you satisfy your hunger⊠um, sexually,â you started, âthen I want something in return.â
A mischievous glint flashed in his dark eyes. âOh? Youâre making things fun, human.â
You felt something hot roiling deep inside your core, making you nearly lose your breath for a moment. The effect he had on you was otherworldly. (You supposed this checked out considering he himself was otherworldly.)
Before you could lay down your guidelines, a voice called from behind, âSorry, your previous waitress had something come up, so Iâll be taking your orders for your meal. My nameâsâwhoa, Y/N?â
Your eyes widened. âSeokmin! Oh my god, you work here?â
âYeah, I do,â he said, laughing lightly at your surprise. âIs this your, uh, boyfriend?â
You met Jeonghanâs stare with an awkward smile. âN-no, weâre just friends.â
Seokmin beamed at the demon, who, to your dismay, made no effort to reciprocate. âNice to meet you. I was in one of Y/Nâs classes last semester. Where are you from?â
Jeonghan reached out to shake the hand that Seokmin held out. You knew he was blunt, but you really didnât expect him to respond by saying, âHell.â
You were stabbing metaphysical pitchforks into Jeonghanâs side, fighting the urge to groan into your hands. Seokmin let out a stilted laugh, pausing for a moment to give Jeonghan time to clarify. When the demon didn't, however, Seokmin probably determined that Jeonghan was messing with him.
âYouâre funny,â he praised with a grin. âAnyway, can I get you two started on anything?â
Seokmin had the brightest smile you had ever seen. In fact, he seemed to glow brighter just by showing his teeth. You were almost blown away for a moment, just looking up at him and trying not to stumble over your words as he set your drinks down.
âUm,â you started after regaining your composure, âIâll take the stuffed ziti fritta, please.â
Seokmin turned to Jeonghan, who nodded in your direction with a distracted look on his face. âYeah, Iâll get the same.â
âGreat! Iâll bring those over soon.â With that, Seokmin took both of your menus and walked off.
You smiled to yourself. âWhat a small world.â
âI have to kill him,â Jeonghan muttered at the same time.
âExcuse me?â you nearly cried. âJeonghan, are you crazy? You canât just say things like that in public!â
âWhy not?â
âPeople are gonna think youâre a homicidal maniac! Which you are, but⊠at least pretend to be normal.â
âWhatever, weâre alone now.â He rolled his eyes. âYour little friend has angel blood in him.â
âWhat? Youâre crazy.â
But then, when you took a moment to consider his words, the lines were starting to draw themselves. It was starting to make sense in your head, with Jeonghan randomly stopping in the middle of the street, as if he was drawn to the restaurant. There was also Seokmin, who almost had an aura of light radiating from him.
Of course, there was the possibility that the demon was speaking nonsense and trying to get in your head. It wouldnât be out of the ordinary for him to deceive you, but there was no reason for him to lie. Jeonghan needed an angel to live longer, so he wouldnât waste his time dealing with those who werenât of use.
You asked, âHow can you tell if heâs an angel or not?â
âIâm a demon. I can sense these things,â he answered, âbut Iâm sure you can see some of it, too. You saw how he glowed a bit? Maybe even made you feel a little happy out of nowhere?â
It was true that Seokminâs smile made you forget all of your worries for a second. You thought his radiance was just contagious, but this sort of made sense now that you were semi-familiar with the supernatural. If angels were able to make people feel contented, though, did that mean demons had the opposite effect?
That could probably explain why Jeonghan got on your nerves so easily.
You leaned over the table a little, whispering, âWouldnât he know what you are, then?â
âDoubt he knows it himself. Heâs a Quartarionâquarter angel. I bet he doesnât even know he has wings.â
âSo⊠you canât use him, right? You need an angel, and heâs mostly human.â
âNo, I could kill him, actually,â he replied. âI just need to kill an angel-blood. In fact, killing a Quartarion instead of a pure-blood would make my job a lot easier.â
You felt trapped. It wasnât like you were in any position to argue about Jeonghanâs decisions, considering it was your fault he was in this state. However, you felt sick to your stomach over getting blood on your hands because of him. Even if you werenât the one killing Seokmin, it was indirectly your fault.
âYou are not killing him,â you said firmly.
âWhat?â Jeonghan almost sounded like a child. âNot even a little?â
âYou canât kill someone a little.â
âWell, maybe if I sliced hisââ
âOkay! Be normal, be normal, be normal,â you chanted, trying to get him to hone in some morals. âNo murder, no cannibalism, noââ
âTwo stuffed ziti frittas!â Seokmin chirped, shutting you up effectively. You swallowed thickly as he set the plates down in front of you and Jeonghan. âCan I get you two anything else?â
âYeah, actually,â Jeonghan spoke up, a sly grin spreading across his face, âare you free this week?â
Poor, poor Seokmin, you thought miserably.
Jeonghan managed to sweet-talk Seokmin into hanging out with you two later in the week. The very idea was absurd, considering you and Seokmin have only spoken about five times. You thought the demon used some sort of demon power to get Seokmin to comply, but Jeonghan later told you that he was just naturally charismatic.
You decided to deal with the Seokmin issue later, though. Now, you had another problem at hand: the proposal you initiated earlier.
Currently, Jeonghan had you pinned up against your door, his head dipping low so that he could look into your eyes despite your efforts to avert your gaze. Jesus, you knew this was a terrible idea, but every nerve in your body was telling you to just go with it.
He hummed. âWhat was your offer?â
âThis isnât very guardian demon of you,â you squeaked out.
âI just canât kill you,â he said. âSex is still on the table.â
This piqued your interest. âWait⊠youâre not allowed to kill me?â
That just made you feel like he wouldâve murdered you already if he had the chance.
âI could try, but I physically canât harm you. I can harm others for you, though,â he said. âNow letâs go back to that offer you were going to make.â
âLet me clarify,â he continued, âitâs not the act of intercourse that feeds me, itâs your taste.â
He was basically saying that he needed to eat you out. You would be lying if you said you were opposed to the idea. You werenât sure if it was the whole devilâs temptation thing or whatever, but you found yourself wanting to just let Jeonghan have his way with you.
You sucked in a sharp breath. Back at the restaurant, you werenât ready to lay down any guidelines for the exchange. However, it was clear to you now.
âIâll agree as long as you donât kill Seokmin.â
The demon pulled away from you, frowning. âWhy canât I kill him?â
âHeâs my⊠friend,â you tried.
âHe appears to share a deeper connection with me, a complete stranger, than he does with you, an established acquaintance.â
Okay, ouch. That stung.
âOkay, heâs not really my friend,â you admitted, âbut itâll make me feel really guilty if you kill him. I know you need to kill an angel-blood to get back, but there has to be another way, right?â
Jeonghanâs voice was pitched lower when he said, âI donât know about that.â Silence hung heavy in the air for a few moments before he spoke up again, âFine. Iâll accept your offer. I wonât kill Seokmin for now, but I canât promise that in the future if Iâm left with no other choice.â
That was probably the best you were going to get out of him, so you nodded in agreement. âDeal.â
Before the demon could reply, you shimmied down your shorts, kicking them off your ankles, and then you sat back on your bed. You pressed your thighs together, waiting for him to come forward and take the lead.
Jeonghan just stared at you, jaw gone slack.
âWhat?â you asked with a frown. Slowly, embarrassment started to heat up your cheeks. âYou donât wanna do it anymore?â
âHuman, I feel a bit strange doing this with the stuffed animals lined up on your bed.â
âI just had to convince you not to murder my classmate a minute ago, and you draw the line at this?â You sighed in exasperation. âYouâre unbelievable, you know that?â
Jeonghan just moved closer until he was right in front of you. He pushed your legs apart, surprisingly gentle, and he reached his hand between your legs so that he could prod at the thin material of your underwear at the apex of your legs. You shivered instantly at his touch, grabbing his sleeve when you felt your core ache for more.
âI donât know,â he murmured, observing how wet you were getting with his gentle touches. âYou seem to enjoy bickering with me a little too much, human.â
âT-thatâs ridiculous.â
âIs it?â The question sounded genuine, but the smirk on Jeonghanâs face was unmistakable. You swallowed hard as his free hand traveled up your thigh slowly, inching further and further until he tugged your underwear down past your thighs. You kicked it off your ankles while he started to position you properly on your bed. âWhatâs ridiculous is having these adorable playthings watching us.â
You turned your head to see your Sanrio MyMelody Squishmallow staring at you with its big, empty eyes and mocking smile. It almost felt like you were being judged by your own plushie.
Okay, you were starting to get why it was capable of freaking a demon out.
You propped yourself up on your forearm and rose up enough to grab your Squishmallow by its bow and turn it around. Now that it was facing the wall, you strangely felt more at ease.
âOkay, now you can go,â you said with a grin.
Jeonghan scoffed, amused. âThanks.â
âYouâre welâoh,â you moaned, pressing a fist to your mouth when you felt Jeonghanâs tongue work its way between your folds. âGive me a warning next time, damn.â
He paused for a moment to look up at you, mischief twinkling in his dark eyes. âYouâre already thinking about the next time, huh?â
âJust shut up and keep doing your thing.â When he raised a brow at you, you added a frantic, âPlease?â
This moment may have been the first time Jeonghan had complied so quickly. He got to work right away, gripping your hips and licking a stripe along your cunt. You arched your back once you heard him groan at the taste of your arousal, and the demon had to push you back down to make sure you werenât fidgeting too much.
You turned your head to the side, digging your chin into the mattress as Jeonghanâs tongue rolled around your clit in torturous motions. You were fighting the urge to cry out in pleasure because you knew you would never hear the end of it from him. Eventually, though, the feeling overtook your pride, and you let yourself moan for more.
Jeonghan was insatiable. That probably came with being a demon, especially when he represented the sin of greed.
But, the thing was, you didnât expect him to be so mind-blowingly good.
Your sounds must have spurred him because Jeonghan gripped your thighs harder and ate you out with more fervor. It was a back-arching level of pleasure, but he forced you down every time you tried to squirm. When his tongue snaked past your folds, flicking against the walls of your cunt, you truly understood the sheer power of temptation.
Jeonghan didnât neglect one inch of your core, flattening his tongue so he could cover the surface completely. He switched from plunging his tongue into your cunt to licking long stripes along your slit so quickly that your vision was starting to curl at the edges. You felt like you were going crazy when you grinded your hips against his tongue and felt his smirk.
No man had ever made you feel this goodâno, you were positive that no man could ever make you feel this good. Even Jeonghanâs nose brushing against your clit made you feel like you were combusting.
He brought you to the edge so quickly, and you wondered if you had even made yourself orgasm so fast before. The sensation left your legs shaking around his neck and your head turned to the side in a desperate attempt to hold back your moans. You managed to let out strangled whimpers that left Jeonghan chuckling once he pulled away.
You didnât know what you were expecting, but you felt a touch disappointed when you looked up at him. There was absolutely no hint of a boner tenting his pants.
âIâd ask,â Jeonghan started with a smirk, âbut I can already tell you liked it by the way you were moaning for me.â
You raised yourself onto your elbows, huffing a little. âWhat about you? Are your powers back now?â
âIt doesnât exactly work like that.â Jeonghan patted his stomach, satisfied. âIâm full, though.â
âInteresting.â You left it there, not wanting to divulge further into his demon diet. âSo, you donât ever have sex for pleasure? Just when youâre hungry?â
âI donât care for pleasure all that much.â
âFigured,â you mumbled. âAnyway, Iâm going to sleep.â
âAlready?â
âYeah, Iâm tired. Wake me up in a few hours if Iâm not already up.â
âSure. Iâll go do human things and not kill people.â
âKeep up the good work.â
When Jeonghan left your room, you pulled the covers up to your chin and let out a long sigh. The feeling was fleeting, but long enough for you to take notice. A gentle quickening of your heartbeat and a warm feeling in your chest.
You pushed it down as a brief moment of confusion.
Living with Jeonghan felt like having a guard dog that you kept off its leash.
Not only did you have to stop him from attempting murder on several occasions, but, on the flip side, you also had to warn him about being too nice to make up for his twisted imagination. Jeonghan was far too attractive to be human, and from the numerous times you went outside with him, you realized that he drew too much attention. You were left standing to the side idly while he was chatted up by the umpteenth random girl that wanted his number.
Over the past week, you ended up explaining a lot of things to the demon. Going into depth about the criminal justice system was your favorite because Jeonghan looked flabbergasted by the levels of punishment they had.
(âA six month sentence for theft?â he asked with a frown. âThatâs absurd. I got eternity in Hell while being boiled alive in oil!â
âWell, what was your crime?â you asked.
âUhâŠâ)
Once, you even found him staring at the TV screen with a somber expression on his face. You had never seen Jeonghan so visibly upset, so you asked him what was going on, only to be even more confused when he explained that his pet died. You suspected the demonâs pet to be a hellhound or something. Never did you expect him to pull up a picture of Mount Fuji.
(âHis name was Doljjong,â he explained sadly. âHe was only 1,359 years old when he erupted for the last time.â
Apparently, Mount Fuji was now extinct. In Jeonghanâs crazy demon lingo, that meant it died.
âYou basically had a pet rock, dude.â
âHe was more than a rock in my heart.â)
You also had to adjust to living with another man in the house. Thankfully, Jeonghan wasnât messy or as disgusting as you had expected, but you still had to adjust to some of his living habits that took you by surprise.
For one, Jeonghan preferred showering in scorching hot water. This would not bother you if you hadnât been dragged into the shower with him on one occasion, which he didnât seem to think was improper at all. While you were trying not to look at his (beautifully-chiseled) naked body, he was urging you to help him turn down the cold water. As soon as your skin made contact with the water, though, you couldnât stand the scalding heat.
Strangely enough, although the thought of having a demon in your house terrified you, it was kind of fun to live with him. You liked having someone around that could keep up with your antics, someone who challenged your thirst for argument. Jeonghan was the perfect match for you, and maybe that was why he was your assigned demon.
You finally decided to give him your old phone. It was supposed to be a hand-me-down for your younger brother, but your parents ended up getting him a new one. Since Jeonghan was pretty much ancient, you figured he wouldnât mind an old phone.
âI want an iPhone 14 Pro Max.â
âWhat?!â you exclaimed as he took the used iPhone 8 from you, inspecting the home button with a frown. âHow do you even know what that is?â
âI wasnât born yesterday, human.â He scoffed. âI donât care for outdated possessions.â
Oh, right. Greed.
âWell, if youâre gonna live in my house, then youâre gonna learn to be grateful for what youâve got.â
âWait.â Jeonghan paused, looking between you and the phone about three times before he asked, âCan I contact Seokmin with this?â
âUh, yeah, butââ
âGive me his number,â the demon insisted.
âJeonghan! You said you werenât going to kill him!â
âI never said I was going to kill him,â he said, âbut I did invite him to hang out, so I should follow up on the offer. Didnât you tell me that keeping promises is important?â
Ah, right. He was using one of the rules from Y/Nâs Guide To Being Human against you. You saw this coming, though; you were no stranger to Jeonghanâs manipulation tactics by now.
âKeeping promises are important, but leading someone on is also wrong,â you chided. âDo not text him if you plan on hurting him in any way.â
He let out a petulant whine before agreeing, âOkay, okay, I wonât.â He thrusted the phone in your direction. âGive me his number, though.â
You bit your lip before you complied. âFine.â
A few days later, when you had just gotten back from getting lunch with your best friend, Park Sooyoung, you entered your apartment to see Seokmin sitting on the couch.
âOh!â you exclaimed. You were so startled that you couldnât even process how furious you were with Jeonghan for inviting him without informing you. âHey, Seokmin. Whatâre you doing here?â
The older boy flashed a kind smile. âSorry to intrude. Jeonghan invited me. I think heâs in the bathroom right now.â He pointed in the direction of where Jeonghan went, and then he said, âI had no idea you two were roommates!â
You recalled last week when you asked Jeonghan if demons had to use the bathroom like humans did. For some reason, you couldnât imagine it at all. The demon answered that he didnât have to do such things in his own dimension, but his body was subjected to the same biological system as humans on Earth.
âAh, yes. Roommates.â You forced a laugh, trying to not sound bitter. So that was the narrative Jeonghan cooked up. Honestly, you were just glad he said something normal. âHe didnât tell me you were coming over.â
âAh, speak of the devil,â Seokmin said.
Meanwhile, it was just Jeonghan. Well, on second thought, he was kind of right.
âWhatâre you doing at home?â the demon asked, sounding more accusatory than welcoming. âI thought you were getting lunch with your friend.â
âAnd we finished lunch,â you answered. âWhatâre you and Seokmin doing?â
âWe were gonna watch a movie,â he said. âThe Notebook, I think?â
Your anger fizzled. Now, you felt like you were interrupting something.
âDo you wanna watch it with us, Y/N?â Seokmin asked, voice all sugary and light.
You found it way too hard to refuse him, so you sat down on the couch next to Jeonghan. Every time Seokmin spoke, you felt your nerves ease up. However, coupled with Jeonghanâs presence, you were undergoing a never-ending state of easing and tensing up again.
âBy the way, whyâd you guys pick The Notebook?â you inquired.
âOh, âcause Jeonghan hasnât seen it yet,â Seokmin replied, looking distracted as the film started playing.
Jeonghan hadnât seen a lot of movies. It wasnât like there were limited options to choose from.
Thankfully, the lights were off while the movie played, masking how bored you looked for its duration. You were convinced Jeonghan wasnât enjoying it either considering he started up about ten different conversations unrelated to the movie. Seokmin, being the sweetheart he was, responded to him enthusiastically as he watched. You, on the other hand, were sulking on the other side of the couch and praying for this to be over because you felt like a third wheel.
You almost didnât notice the mood shift when the kissing scene came up. Seokmin seemed to feel a bit awkward, so he laughed and made lighthearted remarks throughout the scene. You had stiffened up and lowered your gaze, remembering once again why this was an odd choice for a movie night.
Jeonghan, though, turned his gaze to you for the duration of the scene. You could feel his eyes drift to your lips, and it made you hyperconscious of every little movement of his. Your heart was pounding so loudly that you were praying no one else could hear it, and the blood rushing in your ears drowned out the audio from the movie.
The demon dipped his head to whisper in your ear, âFrankly, human, Iâm enjoying your reactions more than this movie.â
You had no idea why, but you felt something unsettling in your chest. Your heart felt like it was going a hundred miles a minute, but not in a good way; the organ twisted painfully in your chest.
You had no idea why.
Seokmin came around a few more times over the next four weeks. You found yourself feeling less like a third wheel over time, and you were finally comfortable hanging around the both of them. Movie nights became more common, although The Notebook seemed to be so traumatizing that Seokmin and Jeonghan only watched horror and sci-fi movies now.
You were honestly surprised that Jeonghan hadnât made any moves to kill Seokmin, but you were happy that he honored your agreement. The two of you had gotten closerâor, well, as close as a demon and a human could get. He still called you âhuman,â but you were banking on him calling you by your name at least once. Moreover, Jeonghan wasnât completely convincing just yet, but he was starting to learn how to act like a proper human. (There were the occasional murder threats that you had to fend off, though.)
Jeonghan found himself between your legs nearly every other day. You feared that you would get too comfortable, but he still made you orgasm every single time. It was strange, to say the least. You knew demons werenât capable of feeling anything remotely romantic, but your heart was still acting like a fool, twisting painfully whenever he pulled away.
Today, Jeonghan had followed you to the library. He met your friend, Sooyoung, who kept gushing earlier about how she was dying to meet your new âfriend.â The rest of the day went smoothly, save for Sooyoung asking you and Jeonghan if youâve ever made out. (You shut her up with a smack upside her head.)
Back at home, Jeonghan, who was sitting on the floor with his back against the couch, leaned his head back to look up at you. You found it strangely endearing, resisting the urge to run your hands through his soft hair.
âDid I do good today?â he asked.
âYeah,â you said, âyou were like a proper humanâno weird demonic antics or anything.â
Jeonghan lifted his head up again, and then asked in a quiet voice, âHuman, could I perhaps try something?â
The demon was asking you for permission? Strange, but you went along with it.
âHm? What is it?â
âLet me try kissing you,â he said. His words were so clear that you couldnât even pass them off as something you misheard. You only managed to let out a few incoherent stammers before he added, âMove your laptop. Iâm getting on top of you.â
âY-you didnât even ask me!â you stuttered, although you were putting your stuff to the side as you spoke. âIs this about what Sooyoung asked? About if weâve made out?â
âIâm asking you right now: yes or no?â
You frowned. It was as if all your nerves were cut wire, electrifying every limb in your body. Even though you couldnât comprehend what came over Jeonghan and what possessed him to ask, your brain was screaming at you to just accept his offer.
âFine, go ahead,â you murmured, feeling your face go hot when he smirked right after.
âGood,â he said. âThank you for being my experiment.â
You couldnât ask any further questions because Jeonghan already started moving on top of you, straddling your lap and placing his hands firmly on either side of your face. You stared up at him, wide-eyed, until he leaned down and brushed his nose against yours experimentally.
He was so close. So close that you could feel his hot breath fanning your lips. So close that you could see the gold flecks in his dark eyes.
You shuddered. There was that twist of your heart once again.
You swore you could hear his breath hitch, and you almost called it out before a crevice started opening up in the center of your living room.
âWhat the fuck?â you shrieked, scrambling back against the arm of the couch and holding up one of the throw pillows to defend yourself. Jeonghan had gotten off of you and stood up, eyebrows knitted into a frown. It looked like he knew what was going on, so you asked, âWhat is it, Jeonghan?â
It was the same void of darkness from beforeâthe same one that Jeonghan came from. The room was freezing this time, too, and the windows had iced over. You swallowed hard, wondering if this was one of your mistakes again. You hadnât said or done anything this time, though, so it must have been someone here for Jeonghan.
From the wisps of smoke emerged the most beautiful man you had ever seen. Or, well, second after Jeonghan.
âMammon, you bastard.â Second-Most Beautiful Man scowled. âIf this is one of your conniving plots to escape Hell, then you will face punishment worse than being boiled alive for damnation.â
You looked to your right to see Jeonghan with his arms folded across his chest. Smiling.
âAsmodeus,â your demon greeted with coldness in his tone, âyou planted that scrap of paper in my humanâs book, didnât you?â
Asmodeusâ glower slowly morphed into a wicked grin. âYou donât leave any room for entertainment, do you? I came here to drag you back, anyway, so donât be so bitter.â His red, beady eyes shifted to you. âThis must be your precious human.â
Jeonghanâs voice was deeper when he warned, âDonât you dare lay a finger on her, Asmodeus.â
âOr what?â he mocked. âWhat could you possibly do to me in that pathetic human body of yours? Have you gone soft already? Your powers have weakened, Mammon. Face it. Youâll die out hereâno, youâre already dying.â
âWhat do you want?â Jeonghan snapped. âIf you want me dead, then you have no need to be here.â
âI need you alive,â Asmodeus muttered, âin your true form.â
He scoffed. âIâll just die and be reborn.â
Reborn? You straightened up at Jeonghanâs words. Why didnât he tell you he would be reborn? Here you were, like an idiot, worrying over his possible death.
âThe other five princes are requesting to see you, soââ
âOh, why should I give a damn about the other princes?â Jeognhan fussed. âThey only care about using me for their trivial schemes!â
âJeonghan,â you spoke up loudly, and both of the demon princes turned to you with shocked looks on their faces. âIf Iâm interpreting this correctly⊠then arenât you being offered an easy way to get back? You should take it, right?â
âHumanââ
âOh, I forgot you go by your human name here,â Asmodeus said with a chuckle. He walked toward you and reached his hand out, smiling so wide that his eyes crinkled at the corners. âNice to meet you, Y/N. You can call me Joshua, if thatâs easier. Iâm the demon prince of lust.â
âHow do you know my name?â you asked, cautiously shaking his hand. You looked toward Jeonghan with a scowl. âWait, how does he know my name and you didnât?â
âMy bad.â
âYouâve truly gone soft, Mammon,â Asmodeus observed. âYouâre on Earth entertaining a human girl instead of doing your job back in Hell. Arenât you the one who told the rest of us to be happy with what weâve got in Hell?â
âMy job,â Jeonghan corrected, âis rotting in Hell. My other job is taking care of my human.â
âYour allegiance is with the princes, Mammon,â Joshua hissed. âThis human is insignificantââ
âDo not speak about my human with that filthy mouth of yours, Asmodeus,â Jeonghan interrupted sharply, his eyes darkening. âTell me what you want from me and leave this place at once.â
âPythius wants a seat with the Seven Princes.â
Jeonghan raised a brow. âHe wants to rebrand to the Eight Princes? Doesnât have as nice of a ring to it.â
âNo, you idiot.â Joshua groaned. âHe wants to overthrow one of the Seven Princes, which is why you need to come back. Greed must have a seat at the throne room of sins.â
âTell him to go ahead. He can be boiled alive in my place.â
âYouâre still on that? That was eons ago.â Joshua sighed. âDonât be a fool, Mammon. If you die on Earthâsure, youâll be reborn in Hell again, but you will still waste your time by dying on this planet.â He continued, âThink about how disastrous the situation would be if Pythius actually takes your place. You will be stripped of your title, your powers will weaken, and greed will no longer be one of the Seven Deadly Sins.â
âDoesnât sound too bad, honestly.â
âMammon,â Joshua growled. âTake this seriously. Youâre acting like Belphegor with that flippant attitude of yours.â
âAh, Belphegor.â Jeonghan turned to you with a light laugh. âI think youâd like him. He goes by Wonwoo here. Seriously, such aââ
âI will slice up each limb of that mortal body of yours, Mammon,â Joshua warned. âYouâre not understanding the severity of this situation.â
âI understand it well enough now,â he replied. âSo, you can leave. Iâll figure out what to do on my own. Either way, Mammon will be reborn as usual. Happy? Good, now get lost.â
Joshua sighed, frustrated. âDo you even have a way to get back, you fool?â
âIâll figure it out.â
âThen Iâll be on my way,â Joshua said before his body started to tessellate out of existence, vanishing piece-by-piece into thin air. âI really hope you know what youâre doing, Mammon.â
You were the first to break the silence once the demon of lust disappeared, asking, âYouâll be reborn? So you never even had to worry about dying?â
âDemons can be killed, but they canât die.â
âOh, yeah, thanks. Really cleared things up for me with that.â
âLetâs just drop it.â
You couldnât just drop it, though. âYou werenât actually imprisoned in Hell, were you?â
âI was. Sort of.â He paused. âHavenât been for a while, to be honest.â
âThen why didnât you go with Joshua? It doesnât sound like he wants you back to throw you back in the lake.â
âI donât want to be a pawn in their silly games anymore,â Jeonghan muttered darkly. âItâs infuriating.â
âThen what are you gonna do? That was the easiest way for you to get back!â
âI have time, human.â Jeonghan didnât seem to want to be pressed further, so you backed off. âDonât worry about me.â
He walked into your room and slammed the door shut, so you settled back into the couch and hugged the throw pillow to your chest. How could you not worry? You couldnât understand Jeonghan at all, and although you wanted to respect his decision not to go back with Joshua, you were at a crossroads; staying here was killing him. He had far too much pride to think rationally.
Plus, the longer he stayed with you, the more it stung when you realized time was running out. Fast.
The next day, Jeonghan appeared as if he was back to normal. It was odd, though, given how he was brooding yesterday. You made a conscious effort not to mention Joshua, but you knew the topic was still weighing heavy on his shoulders.
(He was insatiable once you were awake and sitting up in bed, prying your legs open and begging you for a taste. Although you had several questions for the demon, your carnal desire overtook whatever curiosity you had.
âFeeling better?â you asked cautiously.
âIâll feel better soon. Anyway, good morning,â he purred. âYouâre dripping already, human. I havenât even touched you yet.â
Your chest felt hot. âYeah, yeah, just get to it.â
âMy pleasure.â)
âHey,â you called out later during breakfast. âIâm going out with Sooyoung tonight. Are you gonna be okay being alone at home?â
âWhere are you going?â he asked instead.
You paused between your spoonfuls of cereal. âUh, just a party.â
âI love parties,â Jeonghan said. âWill there be human sacrifices?â
You grimaced. Although your guardian demon was making impressive improvements on his transition to human life, there were still some flaws in his way of thinking. On the bright side, though, he made sure to pass his morbid comments by you before he tried them out in front of others.
âNo, itâs a college party,â you replied. âThe most deadly thing there will be alcohol and Old Spice.â
âBoring,â he mused before getting up from his seat and heading to the living room. âWell, be safe.â
You nearly choked on your cereal, completely forgetting to respond to his words. Did JeonghanâMammon, manifestation of greed, one of the Seven Princes of Hellâjust tell you to be safe? You had to be hearing things.
Or, your heart offered, maybe some part of him cares about youâdeep, deep down.
You pushed down the thought entirely, forcing yourself to think of other alternatives. After all, there was no possible way for a demon to feel those sorts of emotions.
It was almost midnight and Sooyoung was passed out on the couch.
âYouâre fucking kidding me,â you said in dismay. âWe literally just got here.â
âThatâs tough,â Kim Mingyu, president of Sigma Omega Nu, replied sympathetically. âAt least her boyfriendâs here to take care of her. That means you need to drink more and get on her level.â
âThat sounds like a terrible idea.â
âHey, thatâs what college is for.â
You whined when Mingyu handed you a new cup of jungle juice. Normally, you didnât accept drinks from strangers; Mingyu was harmless, though, and you two were well-established friends for a few years now. However, you were on your third cup of juice by now, and, if you kept it up, you were probably going to end up like Sooyoung. Since she was the one who drove you two here, though, you had to stay sober enough to find a ride home. No matter what happened, you were determined to not fall asleep on the musty frat house couch.
(It already happened once last year. You woke up the next morning to Kwon Soonyoung yelling, âSomeone take a picture of Y/N sleeping on the couch I got laid on!â)
âI canât get drunk,â you insisted. âI have to get home.â To make sure my pet demon is behaving, you wanted to add.
Mingyu let out a snicker. âCall someone to pick you up or I can ask one of the sober monitors to drop you off.â
You pondered for a moment. Technically, you could call Jeonghan. Now that he had gotten the hang of using his phone, you saw him texting Seokmin every once in a while. You were sure he would be able to pick up a call, as well.
âFine, whatever. Hand it over.â You took the red solo cup from him and downed its contentsâjust under ten seconds, counted by Mingyu himself. âIâm gonna go call my friend before this starts hitting me.â
You walked out into the backyard where the music wasnât as loud. The cool air hitting your flushed skin made you feel like you could breathe properly again, but you still werenât walking nearly straight enough. With careful hands, you searched up Jeonghanâs number in your contacts.
Your phone rang three times before he picked up.
âHuman? Are you dead?â
You frowned. âIf I was dead, how would I be calling you?â
âI was hoping I could keep your soul around as my pet in Hell,â he said.
You must have had some sort of degradation kink by this point because that comment was not supposed to make you feel butterflies in your stomach. It was time for you to consider therapy.
You cut straight to the point. âCan you come to the party?â
âWhat? No.â
His refusal normally wouldâve stung, but you were too tipsy to back down now. âPlease? Sooyoung already passed out and her boyfriendâs taking care of her. Iâm getting drunk all by myself now.â
Sort of an exaggeration. You were going to use every card up your sleeve.
âThen walk home.â
âI canât. Homeâs too far to walk.â
âThen sleep over at whoeverâs house youâre at.â
âItâs a house full of frat boys. Their living conditions are probably worse than yours down in Hell.â
âThen sober up.â
âArenât you supposed to be my guardian demon?!â
âIf you want an angel to come rescue you, I would try Seokminâs number.â
You let out a groan and crouched down, letting your head hang between your knees. This was fruitless; Jeonghan was stubborn as a mule, and you were getting nowhere with this conversation.
But this wasnât just about getting someone to take you home. You certainly had other options, so you could hang up on Jeonghan right now and find someone else to drive you back. However, you just didnât want to admit out loud that you wanted to see Jeonghan. You wanted him to come over and take care of you, even though that was impossible for the demon.
You were just foolish.
âFine, Jeonghan,â you snapped. Your head started to feel fuzzy, and you were quickly losing control over your own tongue. âIâll get home all by myself. Iâll walk home in the cold, dark night, and hell, Iâll even walk on the road if I feel like it. Maybe Iâll lay down and take a nap if I get really tired, and if I canât even make it to the door, Iâll just sleep in Mingyuâs bedââ You didnât realize you were pacing until you hit a solid surface. âOwâwait, what the hell?â
Jeonghan, in the flesh, sighed heavily and hung up the call in front of you. âHuman, youâre really such a pain in the ass sometimes.â
âH-howâd you get here?â you asked, your cheeks starting to feel hot. âDid you teleport or whatever again? Didnât you say that eats up your power? Are youââ
The demon clamped a hand over your mouth. âI materialized here, and yes, it eats up the little power I have left,â he whispered harshly, âbut you wouldnât stop running your mouth, so here I am. How could you get intoxicated so easily?â
âWell⊠Iâve been here for about an hour,â you defended. âIt doesnât take that much for me to get drunk. Iâm pretty lightweight.â
âHow much did you have?â
âLike, three cups of jungle juice.â
âJungle⊠juice?â
You snorted. âThis oneâs got vodka, rum, and fruit punch. Itâs pretty good.â
âThree cups?â Jeonghan asked with a scoff. âI forget that humans have such weak tolerances for alcohol. I can drink eight bottles of wine without getting drunk.â
âOh yeah?â you challenged. You dragged the demon inside the frat house, not giving him the chance to take in and process his surroundings. You poured him a cup of jungle juice in the kitchen and handed it to him. âDrink up, then.â
Jeonghan raised a brow at you before chugging down the liquid like water. He handed it back to you with a light smirk playing on his lips.
âAre you sure thereâs even alcohol in this concoction?â he asked, barking out a laugh. âHuman, youâre too cute. This is nothing for a powerful demon likeâŠâ he trailed off, looking down at his feet and letting out a soft exhale. âMy chest feels hot.â
Your hand flew up to cover your mouth, stopping yourself from bursting out into laughter. This sight was absolutely priceless. You didnât think you would ever be able to see Jeonghan so vulnerable.
âAre you drunk off one cup of jungle juice?â you asked, and, at this point, you werenât able to stifle your laughter. âOh my god!â
âShut up, human,â he grumbled. He blinked a few times and held onto the edge of the counter. âIâve never felt this way before. My body isnât used to having a humanâs biological system.â
âWhoa, this guy is fucked,â Lee Chan retorted, showing up out of nowhere. âHeâs talking like something out of I, Robot.â
You rolled your eyes at his pop culture reference, but Jeonghan didnât seem to follow at all. For all the movies he and Seokmin had been watching, you were surprised that they didnât get around to this one.
âRobot,â Jeonghan mumbled, moving to lean against you. You grabbed his arm and tried to hold him steady, but he just wrapped his arms around you and let his head rest on your shoulder. âI feel like Iâve just been expelled into the Outerverse with Yog-Sothoth. Ah, fuck, those guys owe meâŠâ
You had to get Jeonghan out of here fast. Before he started speaking crazy demon lingo again.
âAre you sober monitoring tonight?â you asked Chan. âYou think you could drive us home?â
âYeah, sure,â Chan agreed with a smile. Gauging that Jeonghan wasnât responsive enough to answer any questions, the frat boy decided to ask you, âDid you bring a friend from another school, Y/N?â
âYeah, I guess you could say that,â you mumbled. âThis is Jeonghan.â
Chan ducked his head to get a good look at Jeonghanâs face. âNice to meet you, Jeonghan.â
âHi, Robot.â
âNo, my nameâs not Robot.â
Jeonghanâs biggest weakness wound up being seatbelts.
You and Chan had to fight him down to get him to sit down properly in the back seat. Since he was fussing too much, you decided to sit with Chan up front, letting Jeonghan moan and grumble incoherently in the back.
(âUnchain me, human,â the demon kept whining. âI refuse to be imprisoned in the mortal realm.â
When he was stopped at a red light, Chan threw a glance over his shoulder before telling you, âI think your friend watches too much anime.â
âHeâs going through a phase,â you lied.)
While you made light conversation with the frat brother, you felt like your guardian demon was glaring daggers at the poor boy. You wanted to smack him upside the head for his rudeness despite Chanâs generous act.
You craned your neck to look back at Jeonghan, shooting him a warning look. He simply scoffed and looked the other way, although he ended up resting his head against the window once he realized his world was still spinning.
âCome on, Jeonghan,â you murmured once Chan parked the car in front of your place. âGet up.â
âDonât wanna.â
You tugged the sleeve of his shirt impatiently. âWhat? Why?â
âNot going back with someone who ignores me.â
Your jaw nearly went slack. Was he jealous? Yoon Jeonghan, Prince of Greed, was jealous over frat boy Lee Chan? Over something so miniscule as you sitting in the passengerâs seat? This was definitely something you were going to hold over the demonâs head for as long as you could.
âIâm not ignoring you, okay?â you tried. âCome back home with me, and youâll have my full attention.â
Jeonghan hesitated before he let out a begrudged grumble. âFine.â
You and Chan hauled the drunken demon to his feet, taking one of his arms and throwing it over your shoulders so that you could help him walk. Chan assisted you by slinging Jeonghanâs other arm over his shoulder, but you still found it hard to walk properly with Jeonghanâs head lolling to the side. His face was so close that you could feel his hot breath against your neck, sending shivers down your spine.
âYou smell so good, human,â he murmured. Jesus, he was saying all this while Chan was still here? You were glad that Jeonghan couldnât tell how flustered you were, but it was probably evident to Chan. âWhat perfume is that?â
âThis guy sure does call you âhumanâ a lot,â Chan observed with a light laugh.
âUh, yeah, inside joke,â you explained quickly. âLetâs just get him to the couch.â
Once you and Chan let Jeonghanâs heavy body drop onto the couch, you walked the frat boy to the door. He stuffed his hands deep in his pockets, a shy smile playing on his lips. He looked at you expectantly, like he was waiting for a tip or something. You were considering handing him the crumpled-up five dollars you left in your back pocket.
âWe should hang out sometime, Y/N,â he started. âI feel like I barely see you around the house anymore.â
âOh, yeah, I havenât been in a partying mood lately,â you explained, âbut Iâll try to drop by more.â
âAlright. Iâll see you around.â
Before you could respond, a voice from behind you loudly interjected, âBye.â With that, Jeonghan slammed the door shut with one hand.
âThat was rude,â you said.
âCan I gut him like a fish?â
âThatâs even more rude. Please donât.â
âWhatever.â
You looked back at Jeonghan, who had one hand against the door that was right beside your head. âWhatâs your deal? He was nice enough to drive you back and help you to the couch.â
âWhy do you keep ignoring me?â he asked, proceeding to ignore you at the same time.
âI-Iâm not ignoring you!â you stammered. âIâm the one who helped you get back to the apartment!â
He had you backed up against the door, looking up at him with worry knitting your brows together. Jeonghan let his head drop to lay on your shoulder, leaving you frozen in place. You figured it was the alcohol rushing to his head, but you couldnât help the fact that your heart was pounding in your chest.
âHuman,â he mumbled against your collarbone, âwhy canât you just stay by my side?â
âHuh? Butââ
âI wanna be human, too.â
The words sounded strange coming from him. Almost like he was at his tipping point. Tender. Raw. Vulnerable. You were absolutely dumbfounded by what you had just heard. With no coherent response coming to mind, all you could do was raise your hand to gently thread through his soft strands of hair.
âLetâs get you to bed,â you replied softly, letting the demon stay in your embrace as you walked him back to your bedroom. He looked up at you quizzically when you sat him down on the edge of your bed. âItâs about time you stopped sleeping on the floor. Iâll take the couch, soââ
You cut yourself off when Jeonghan wrapped his arms around your legs and pressed his lips to your thighs. âStay here with me.â
You stared ahead, straight at the wall, a dull ache throbbing in your chest. âWhat are you doing, Jeonghan?â
âWhat?â
âWhy are you doing this to me?â you asked. âYou only have months left to live. You shouldâve just gone back with Joshua.â
He stiffened. âI didnât want to.â
âYeah, I guess youâll just be reborn, anyway,â you muttered. âYou never had anything to worry about to begin with.â
Jeonghan suddenly pulled away from you, his eyes cold as ice. Since he was always docile around you, there was never any reason for you to feel scared around the demon. However, the look he was giving you left you backing up slowly from him.
âIâd rather stay dead than be reborn,â Jeonghan said, âand I wouldnât feel so agonized about it if I didnât have to meet you.â
Tears pricked your eyes. You felt a lump rising in your throat, and you felt the hot, salty tears hitting your feet before you even realized you had started to cry. It took all of your willpower to keep the waterworks at bay. The demonâs cruel words were never supposed to get under your skin this bad. You held him at armâs length for that very reason.
Maybe, all this time, you had been pulling him closer unintentionally.
âYou think nothing hurts for me just because Iâm a demon,â he continued, âbut it stings every time you try to chase me away.â
âIâm not trying to chase you away.â
âThen why do you keep pushing me to go back to Hell?â he asked. You couldnât exactly read his expression, but it was clear that Jeonghan felt tormented. The pain in his eyes was telling of that. âWhy did you want me to go back with Asmodeus?â
You huffed. âI really donât understand you. You donât want to die and be reborn, but you donât want to go to Hell either? Arenât you going to die if you stay here?â
âYou donât get it.â He shook his head. âI donât want to be reborn because I lose all my memories of the mortal world. I lose all my memories of you.â
âAnd you donât want to go to Hell becauseâŠâ
âThe only reason you summoned me was because of AsmoâI mean, Joshuaâsâneed for pointless entertainment. Surely, with whatâs been going down in Hell ever since I left, they wonât let me leave again until Pythius is quelled. That could take hundreds or thousands of years.â Jeonghan scoffed, shaking his head. âPythius⊠one of the most fearsome and hideous demons. Thereâs no telling what heâd do for a seat with the Seven Princes.â
âIâm sure if I go back, he would try to kill me over and over again,â he continued, âbecause he detests me the most. That group of themâthe Malebrancheâthey might be more sadistic than Lucifer himself.â
You frowned. âWhatâd you do to him?â
âWhy do you assume I did something to him?â Jeonghan scowled.
âBecause youâre the demon prince of greed,â you replied. âIâm sure you pissed him off somehow.â
He snorted. âPythius rules the eighth circle where frauds are punished. He hates nothing more than the greed that consumes those humans. Of course heâd loathe the demon that represents the very sin.â
âI donât think Iâve seen you act that greedy here, though. Are you different when youâre down there?â
The dark glint in Jeonghanâs eyes nearly went undetected. You only managed to catch it because of the way his smile dropped in tune. His normally easygoing expression was replaced with the same serious look he wore when Joshua was around.
âI havenât been this greedy in eons, human.â
You tried to think back to when Jeonghan had acted in such a way. Sure, there were the multiple times he gave you (mind-blowing) head and the time he asked you for the newest iPhone, but those didnât seem as drastic to you. You expected the very demon of greed to be more selfish.
âReally?â You forced out a stilted laugh. âI think youâre about as greedy as a toddler, like, in a bratty way, but thatâs it.â
Jeonghan stood up.
You took notice of his broad shoulders before, but now you felt swamped under his gaze. He towered over you with ease, looking down at you with a storm brewing in his eyes. There were no words exchanged at first, but one look at the demon told you that whatever he was experiencing was far too human for him to understand fully.
âIâm so greedy that I would let the hierarchy in Hell fall to shambles because of you,â he started. âI would abandon my seat and let Pythius take control just so I can stay here with you. I would rather wither away on Earth instead of going back to Hell where I canât see you again. I would let Alastor, the chief executioner, torture me over and over again until the ache in my heart finally goes awayâthe ache you caused.â
His next words were no louder than a weak whisper when he grabbed your forearms and said, âIâm so greedy that I wanna just give up everything for you, Y/N.â
With that, Jeonghan muttered something about sleeping on the couch before he walked out of your room and shut the door. That was the first time he had ever called you by your name; yet, it didnât even make you feel happy. The first salty tear hit the floorboards, then the next, then more. You could only watch the demon leave in silence, finally letting yourself cry once he was out of sight.
Crying because you didnât want him to leave. Crying because your feelings were already running too deep.
Crying because you knew a botched confession when you heard one.
Just as you were about to settle in bed, burrow yourself in the sheets and sob until you fell asleep, you heard Jeonghanâs footsteps coming back from the living room. You had no time to regain your composure when he flung open the door, his eyes stony and his lips pulled down in a frown.
âI canât sleep if youâre crying like this,â he murmured, walking over to cup your face with his large hands. âThatâs foul play.â
He kissed you.
The motion was swiftâa gentle grab of your jaw and tilt of your chin, and Jeonghan was kissing away your disquiet with surprising tenderness.
Temptation.
Temptation was the utmost desire that demons could draw from mortals, but you werenât quite sure this was it. Jeonghanâs kiss felt differentâmore intimate. His lips moved against yours with hesitance at first, and he only deepened it once you reciprocated. It felt like he wasnât trying to pull you closer; rather, he was waiting for you to find him.
Once you two were lost in desperate kisses and heavy breaths, Jeonghan jerked away with a light gasp. You stared at him, dazed, before he grabbed your wrist and pressed your hand firmly against his chest. At first, you werenât quite sure what he was having you do, but the realization was a slap in the face.
A heartbeat.
Ba-bump. Ba-bump. Ba-bump.
It was fast, like he had just run a marathon. You looked up at the demon quizzically, but he was already pulling away. Your hand hung in the air before dropping to your side, registering too late that he had already let go.
âYou think nothing hurts me,â he mumbled. This time, he had his own hand flat against his chest. âI torture myself every day like this because I know, deep down, thereâs no happy ending for us.â The demonâs eyes, normally masked with golden brown irises, glowed a dim red.
It started drizzling outside. Soft pattering of rain that drowned out the silence.
Everything would fall apartâslowly, gently, inevitably. Jeonghan, too, would eventually become nothing but a ghost of a raindrop that once streaked your window.
Post-party hangovers always called for breakfast at The Veranda. It became a tradition between you and Sooyoung to go there after a night of partying. That, or you two would skip straight to lunch and get pho. There was no telling when either of you would wake up the next morning.
Today, however, Sooyoung texted you early enough.
âWe should get cocktails,â she suggested while looking down the menu.
âYou already blacked out last night, you crazy bitch.â
To be frank, you had ulterior motives for this outing. For one, you wanted to get out of the house because the tension between you and Jeonghan was making you suffocate. The other reason was because you wanted to consult Sooyoung with your problems.
You started with, âSo, thereâs this guy,â and your best friend was already at the edge of her seat. Once you finished giving her the rundown (which only concluded after you ordered your food and were halfway done with your herb roasted chicken sandwich), Sooyoung paused to think, which stretched into about five minutes. More than enough time for you to finish your sandwich.
âI donât get what the problem is,â Sooyoung finally said, tilting her head curiously. âIf you two like each other, then just ask him out.â
If only it were that easy, you thought to yourself, but you couldnât spare her the details of how impossible the situation was. You werenât in the mood to hear âif he wanted to, he wouldâ when you were dealing with a guardian demon who was literally dying in the mortal world.
You hesitated. âLetâs just say that heâs not exactly available right now.â
âHe has a girlfriend?â Sooyoung asked, raising an eyebrow in suspicion. She looked ready to start telling you off for being a homewrecker, so you had to clarify immediately.
âNo, no, heâs single,â you said. âHeâs just not⊠emotionally available to date.â
âSo, heâs been getting all close to you without wanting to date you.â
âUh, not really? Heâs justââ
âCut him off, Y/N.â
âWhat?â you asked, eyes widening. You figured the situation sounded bad from an outsiderâs perspective, but there was no way for you to break it down without explaining that Jeonghanâs your guardian demon from Hell that ended up being trapped on Earth because of your statistics midterm and demonic intervention from Joshua, the other oddball from Hell. âI canât do that.â
âSure you can,â Sooyoung replied. âItâll hurt at first, but youâll get over it eventually.â
âBut heâsâŠâ you trailed off, wondering how the fuck you were going to defend a demon prince of greed. You settled with saying, âHeâs funny.â
âSo are clowns, Y/N. You donât see me asking out Ronald McDonald.â
âOkay, itâs not that simple, Sooyoung!â you cried out. âItâs more like⊠he doesnât have that much time left here.â
âOh.â She sounded lost at first, but the confused look on her face was slowly replaced with somber understanding. âIâm sorry, Y/N.â
âNo, youâre good. I didnât know how to say it.â
âWell, if thatâs the case,â she said, âwhy donât you just make the most of the time you have left with him?â
Sooyoungâs words hadnât left your mind ever since breakfast. Even after she dropped you off at your apartment, you were still replaying the conversation in your head.
You thought about it in the shower.
You thought about it while doing your homework.
And you continued to think about it when Jeonghan was spreading your legs apart later that day.
âDidnât we just fight?â you asked, your voice unnaturally high. Despite your words, you came to realize that you were sort of feral when it came to your sex life. A little fight was just a chip on your shoulder.
âThat was a fight?â Jeonghan asked. âIâve been in fights before. Theyâre pretty gruesome. Usually some heads roll or someone gets disemboweled.â
âA verbal fight,â you clarified.
âIâve been in verbal fights before, too. They usually end with someone getting stabbed.â
âOkay, well, thatâs not a verbal fight.â You sighed. âI mean, arenât you upset with me? You were acting like being around me was hurting you.â
Jeonghan looked down and went completely silent.
âHello?â you called. Did you break him?
Jeonghan looked back up. This time, his cheeks were tinged scarlet red. Your eyes went wide at the sight of the demon fully blushing over your words. You were definitely adding this bullet point to the Blackmail on Jeonghan folder you kept in your Notes app.
âI let my emotions get the best of me, okay?â he mumbled. âLet's just drop it.â
You, however, were brimming with questions. âHey, but you let me feel your heartbeat last night,â you started. âDid you always have a heart?â
Jeonghan pulled away to look at you with distaste dawning on his face. âDid I always have a heart? Of course Iâve always had a heart, human. How would I be giving you the head of your life if I was a corpse?â
Your demon was gradually evolving to develop a filthy mouth. You werenât sure if this was improvement or regression.
âYou have a human heart and you can feel human emotions,â you said. âWhat makes you and I so different, then?â
Jeonghan opened his mouth, but before he could speak, there was a knock at the door. You glanced at Jeonghan suspiciously, wondering if he invited Seokmin without your knowledge, but even he looked clueless. There was no one you were expecting, so you wondered if it was just the UPS guy dropping off a package.
When you opened your door though, it was indeed Seokmin, and he was pissed.
You had never seen him like this, with his nostrils flaring and his skin flushed red. It was almost as if steam was coming out of his own ears. But there was something very glaring about Seokmin that had you gawking at him.
His wings were on full display.
Snowy white wings fanned out behind him. You could hear a low, angelic hum faintly resounding from the feathers. You were in shock for a moment, unsettled and overwhelmed by the heavenly light that Seokmin was bathing in.
It seemed to have an even worse effect on Jeonghan. You noticed how he flinched at the sight, backing up slowly.
âGet back, Y/N,â Seokmin ordered. âI know this is gonna sound crazy, but your roommateâs dangerous.â
You wondered if he had some unexplainable power over you because your actions were going against your words as you found yourself stumbling away from the two. âSeokmin, donât do this,â you begged.
He frowned. âWhat?â
But Jeonghan got his words in before you could. âLooks like the both of us figured it out before you did. You just found out youâre a Quartarion, huh?â
He was jeering, like he was taunting the angel to attack him. You couldnât understand what the demon was thinking when he was clearly overpowered right now. Even if Seokmin wasnât a pureblood angel, Jeonghanâs powers had considerably weakened ever since he entered the mortal realm.
âHowâŠâ Seokmin was shocked for a moment, straightening up and glowering down at you. âHow did you know?â
âYou found out recently, didnât you? Mommy or daddy told you they were half, which meant youâre quarterâweaker than them,â Jeonghan pressed. âThey kept it from you all this time, huh? Because your angelic presence wasnât strong enough to be a threat, but then you started glowing brighter.â
âJeonghan, enough!â you yelled, trying to mediate whatever was happening. You had no idea what Seokmin was going to do, but it definitely didnât seem like he was here for another movie night.
âMammon,â Seokmin said through gritted teeth. âThatâs your real name, right?â Suddenly, the angel turned on you with an accusatory stare. âAnd youâhow did you know about all of this? Did he tell you?â
You gulped before starting slowly, âLook, I accidentally summoned Jeonghan from my statistics textbook the day before you met him at the Olive Garden.â
Seokmin tilted his head, looking utterly puzzled. None of those words were in the Bible.
âI knew he was a demon,â you continued, âand he told me you were an angel. He could sense it, or something like that.â
âOh,â Seokmin replied rather sadly, as if he had just discovered he had been the brunt of a joke all along. âWell, Iâm sorry you were caught up in this Y/N, but I have to kill your roommate before he hurts anyone else.â
âWhoa, hold onâhe hasnât hurt anyone!â you cried, holding onto Seokminâs shoulder to keep him from charging at Jeonghan. âYouâre an angel; you canât kill him!â
âTechnically, he can,â Jeonghan noted as he just barely avoided the angel grabbing him. âSome angels are specifically assigned to keep demons away from humans. I think Seokminâs just mad, though.â
âIâm not just mad,â Seokmin spat, although he was visibly seething. âI just feel stupid that I befriended someone who was trying to kill me this whole time!â
You turned your gaze to Jeonghan, who held up his hands in surrender. âOkay, okay, Iâll admit I might have had murderous intentions at first, but come on! You would be dead by now if I really wanted to kill you.â
âYou canât kill him, Seokmin,â you repeated in a desperate attempt. âYou owe him!â
Now the angel was lost. âAnd how exactly do I owe him?â
âRemember when your card declined, and I bought you that croissant on campus last week?â you tried. As soon as the words came out, you heard a loud groan from Jeonghan, and you were sure he was pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head. âYou owe me, who owes Jeonghan, so you owe Jeonghan!â
Seokmin was even more lost. âWhat?â
âTransitive property of equality: A equals B equals C, so A equals C.â
âThereâs no way youâre actually applying the transitive property of equality to this situation.â
âAnd what exactly do you owe me for?â Jeonghan chimed in, equally as confused.
âYeah, I canât believe Iâm agreeing with him on this one, but heâs a demon, Y/N,â Seokmin said. âIf you feel like you owe him anything, itâs likely you were manipulated by him.â
âNo, I wasnât!â you protested before the demon could object himself. âI owe him becauseâŠâ
You trailed off, wondering how you were going to string your feelings into comprehensible words. They were all a mess of jumbled vowels and consonants in your head, holding no significant weight until you thought long and hard, feeling it get heavier and heavier on your tongue.
The angel raised a brow. âBecause what?â
Letters unfurling in your head. Piecing themselves together. You felt like your head was going to explode until you blurted out, âBecause he showed me what love feels like.â
You looked over at Jeonghan to see him staring at you like a deer caught in headlights. He looked helpless at the moment, wild with pain, like he had let down all lines of defense at your declaration. A scarlet red blush stained his cheeks, and it was perhaps the single most human expression you had ever seen from him.
Seokmin moved forward, and an agonized scream tore itself from your throat before you could even think. His sudden movement chilled your blood, and all you could think about was how you needed to protect your guardian demon before he was struck by the angel.
And so you did.
Confession time: you kicked an angel in the balls.
You were pretty sure that was a one-way ticket to Hell.
âIâm so sorry, Iâm so sorry, Iâm so sorry,â you kept repeating to a defeated Seokmin, who was now laying on the couch with pain drawn all over his face. âMy fight response has been kicking in a lot more lately.â
âI wasnât gonna hurt him,â he explained weakly. âMy foot was just cramping up.â
âSo you wonât kill Jeonghan?â you asked, brimming with hope.
âI⊠I donât know,â he answered. âJeonghanâs a demon, Y/N. Just because you have feelings for him doesnât mean he isnât capable of manipulating those emotions out of you.â
âHeâs as good as human, Seokmin.â
âY/N,â Jeonghan started, but you shook your head.
âIâm right!â you insisted. âJeonghan has a heart, and it beats; Iâve felt it myself.â The two men were silent, so you continued, âHe canât handle alcohol at all; heâs more lightweight than I am. He likes building lego sets. He likes the rain, and he said itâs because that means an angelâs crying, but itâs really because he loves the way the Earth smells after rainfall. He likes coffee, but he always pours me some first before he takes any. You think heâd have the vocabulary of a Victorian man, but he knows more slang than I do. He⊠Jeonghan wants to be human. Isnât that enough for you?â
Silence hung in the air. You wondered if you overstepped for a moment, aired out too much of his business, but then you could visibly see Seokmin at war with himself. You could see the internal battle in his eyes, fighting to believe in whatever the angels had instructed him to do.
He narrowed his eyes at the demon and asked in a calmer voice, âYou swear you wonât kill me?â
âI swear on God.â
âYouâre a demon. Swear on something else.â
âUm, okay⊠I swear on, uh, Y/N.â
âPlease donât swear on me,â you muttered, looking at your feet nervously as if the ground was going to swallow you whole.
Seokmin closed his eyes, exhaling loudly. âSo, when did you stop wanting to kill me?â
âY/N and I had a deal that I wouldnât kill you in exchange forââ
You slapped a hand over the demonâs mouth immediately, successfully muffling the next words that decided to slip from his lips. It felt like your face was burning from how embarrassed you were. While Jeonghan shot you a confused look and tried to lick your palm to get it to budge, you exclaimed, âThat detail isnât important!â
âAnyway,â Jeonghan continued once you finally removed your hand, âI guess⊠part of me started enjoying those movie nights. Kinda hard to discuss the endings after you kill your friend, right?â
You could see Seokmin visibly soften, the fondness returning to his eyes. âYouâre telling the truth.â
âYeah, I am.â
âYou can tell?â you inquired, wondering if it was some sort of angelic ability he had recently acquired.
âYeah, Iâve always had some sort of sixth sense about these things,â Seokmin said, although you werenât quite sure about this because you and Jeonghan had lied to him on numerous occasions. âI was only able to tap into it after I saw my wings for the first time.â
You then wondered if the longing etched bone-deep in Jeonghanâs face was also real.
It took a couple of hours for you and Jeonghan to explain everything to Seokmin, from beginning to end. You had to start from how you accidentally summoned him, which seemed to entertain the both of them, and you had to scold them both to take the situation seriously. Then, Jeonghan explained his side of the story, detailing how he didnât have much time left because his mortal body was weak.Â
âWhat do we do now, then?â Seokmin asked, sitting up straight now. âYouâre gonna die if you stay here, right?â
âThatâs why he wanted to kill an angel,â you said, âbut now we donât have a game plan.â
The three of you sat in silence for several minutes, letting the situation sink in. Your nerves were still buzzing from your earlier confession, still unanswered by Jeonghan, but you knew it wasnât the time to dwell on that. There were more important matters at hand, but no one knew what to do.
Jeonghan sighed. âItâs fine. Iâve already accepted that Iâm going to die here and be reborn in Hell.â
âYou think thatâs fair to Y/N? Or me?â Seokmin burst out. âYouâre basically telling us to watch you die, dude.â
âYou think I wanted this outcome?â he snapped. âNo, I didnât think I was going to actually enjoy living in this realm! I didnât think I was gonna fall in love with my human! I didnât think mortals had such excellent marketing strategies!â
Seokminâs eyes went wide. âYouâŠâ
âJeonghan,â was all you could say, and his name came out no louder than a whisper.
âWhat?!â
âYou said you love me.âÂ
You looked toward Seokmin for confirmation, who answered with a quiet nodâan indication that not only had you heard it correctly, but Jeonghan was telling the truth.
To be honest, you were quite embarrassed that this was all coming to light in front of Lee Seokmin. He seemed very out of place in this otherwise tender moment. Yet, you were filled with inexplicable happiness and absolute dread simultaneously.
Once the grief settled, you were born again. Newfound confidence rising up your throat. You were determined to do whatever it took to mortalize Jeonghan.
âOh, right.â The demon sounded nervousâenough to make you nervous. He simply stared at you for a moment before brushing the proclamation off with a wave. âAnywayâŠâ
âJeonghan!â
He shot you a withering look, glaring you down with every fiber of his being. âSeokmin is right there. Do you really wanna do this right now?â he whispered in an exasperated tone, turning his back to his friend so that he could converse with you. Although Jeonghan was lecturing, you were enjoying the way his blush rose to his cheeks. âWe can talk about this after he leaves.â
âOkay, fine,â you agreed. âWhyâd you have to blurt out a confession while he was here?â
âYou did the same thing!â
âI can still hear you guys,â Seokmin reminded unhelpfully.
Somehow, Jeonghan took this as an opportunity to continue to chastise you. âSee? This is all because you canât keep quiet.â
âI canât keep quiet?â You knew this was not the time nor place to bicker with your guardian demon, but he was an expert at getting on your nerves. âYouâre the one who speaks in crazy demon lingo wherever we go!â
He scoffed. âI donât speak in crazy demon lingo, human.â
âYeah? Tell that to Chan. Poor guy had to witness your drunk ass going on about the Yog Sloth owing you or whatever.â
Jeonghan stammered and did a double take, looking at you like you had just kicked him square in the chest. âWait⊠what did you just say?â
âUh, Chanââ
âNo, the other thing.â
âThe Yog Sloth?â
âYog Sloth,â he echoed, and then something clicked. âYog-Sothoth? Wait, the Outer Godsâoh my god! They do owe me!â he all but yelled, grabbing you by the waist and pulling you into a bone-crushing hug. âY/N, youâre a genius!â
Seokminâs eyebrows knitted together in confusion. âWhatâd she even do?â he asked, and you were glad you were on the same page as him.
âYeah, whatâd I do? Who the hell are the Outer Gods?â
For the next thirty minutes, Jeonghan went on to explain how billions of years ago, the most powerful beings of all creation, that rivaled even God Himself, were ruling over the universe. Before space and time was Azathothâchaos. Azathoth even tried to disrupt the beginning of Godâs Creation by starting a war. Each blow delivered from both God and Azathoth caused a rippling effect, creating infinite multiverses that were birthed from the clashing between darkness and light.
There was a period in time when the angels and demons had to side together for once to seal away the Outer Gods. Although they were no match for these cosmic beings, God was able to lock them in the Outerverse, where they have been slumbering ever since.
The key that locked away the Outer Gods had been missing for several millennia, but it happened to end up in the hands of Mammon and Belphegor. Mammon had the clever idea of reshaping the artifact into a human hand and hiding it in a fiery lake in Hell. It was called the Right Hand of Doom, but it hadnât been touched ever since its reform.
âYou reshaped a key of cosmic importance into a hand,â you summarized in disbelief. âThat key has the power to doom all of our existences, and you turned it into a human hand.â
âYou know, Belphegor had the same reaction after I created it,â Jeonghan said. âActually, let me give him a call to fetch it for me.â
âWait!â Seokmin exclaimed. âThat key could wake the Outer Gods from their slumber. What are you planning on doing with it? Are you seriously considering using the Outerverse?â
âNo, Seokmin, Iâm gonna use it as a back scratcher.â
âDonât get me wrong; I do want you to stay here, but this is extremely dangerous. Itâs a really selfish decision, Jeonghan.â
âIâm literally the Prince of Greed.â
âJeonghan, no matter how much I want you to become human and stay with me, this is just⊠itâs just crazy,â you said. âWhat if it goes completely wrong? What if youâre trapped in the Outerverse and killed by the Outer Gods?â
âListen,â Jeonghan started. âWhen I first created the Right Hand of Doom, I was contacted by Yog-Sothoth himselfâAzathothâs grandson.â
âHow did he contact you if heâs imprisoned?â you asked.
âThese gods have their ways the same way demons do,â Jeonghan explained. âItâs kept on the down-low, but there are numerous worshippers of theirs that seek out ways to release them. None of them are ever successful, though.â
He continued, âAnyway, Yog-Sothoth isnât as cruel as the others. Heâs actually quite generous when he deems someone worthy, and I guess he thought I was that person when I refashioned the Right Hand of Doom. Millions of years ago, I helped the Outer Gods out by bringing them sacrifices to empower them, so theyâre in my debt.â
Seokmin's face soured. âWhyâd you bring them sacrifices?â
âDunno. I was bored.â
âLet me get this straight,â you spoke up. âSo, youâre gonna risk your life over the slight chance that you could be turned human?â
Jeonghanâs dark eyes pierced yours, as if he was saying, Look at me. Look at how far Iâd go for you.
âRelax.â He cracked a smile. âItâs not like Iâm going to the Outerverse myself. I just need the Right Hand of Doom to communicate with Yog-Sothoth across our realms. Even if he rejects my bargain, I doubt heâd try to crush me to a pulp from his prison.â
âIf thatâs all there is to it,â Seokmin started, a smile creeping to his face, âthen I donât see why we shouldnât try.â
Jeonghan left the room momentarily to contact Belphegor, Prince of Sloth. He hadnât exactly disclosed how he was going to summon the demon, but he returned with a scowl on his face, shaking his head as he explained that Belphegor was too lazy to retrieve the Right Hand of Doom at the moment. You and Seokmin asked when he would return, but even Jeonghan didnât have an exact answer.
âGive me a call whenever he decides to show up,â Seokmin said before he went back to his apartment. You could tell that he was still shaken up from finding out that his friend had been a demon all this time, but you were glad that they were both being civil for now.
However, there were now other issues at hand. As soon as Seokmin left your apartment, you realized that the tension between you and Jeonghan couldnât even be cut by a blade. To your surprise, your guardian demon was the first to mention it.
âYou love me,â he murmured, more to himself than to you. It was like he was trying to wrap his head around the concept, trying to make sure it was real.
âI do,â you said bravely, âand you love me, I think. Seokmin seemed to believe it was true, and heâs an angel, soâŠâ
âI think I do.â He looked pained. âThese feelings are really confusing. I feel like I canât breathe sometimes. You have a way of making me feel like Iâm at the top of the world sometimes, but sometimes I feel like Iâve hit rock bottom.â
You understood that completely. When you and Jeonghan had your good moments together, you felt like you were soaring. However, when you were reminded about how little time he had left on Earth, you wanted to shut out the rest of the world and hide.
âWe can figure it out together,â you told him, reaching forward to grab his hand and squeeze it.
Jeonghanâs eyes always looked different to you, like melted amber. They held many millennia of age and experience, so it felt like Jeonghan was unfazed by most aspects of life he encountered. Nothing could make the man falter.
But now, with evident panic in his eyes, newfound confidence surged through your blood that compelled you to get on your tip-toes and press a chaste kiss to his lips. It was a seemingly tame sign of affection, so you were thrown off when Jeonghan quietly slid a finger past the hem of your jeans. With his head dipped, the demon looked at you through his long, feathery lashes.
âAre you⊠are you hungry?â you stammered out.
âNo,â he mumbled, raising his head to meet your eyes with his expectant ones. âTwo people who like each other⊠Normally, this would lead to dating, wouldnât it?â When you nodded, he continued, âHow about it, then?â
âHow about what?â
âLetâs go out.â
Your mind went blank for a moment. With how straightforwardly he said it, you would have thought Jeonghan was messing with your head, trying to push your buttons by teasing you. But his face looked determined this time, like he actually meant it. You could see the red glow of his eyes as he waited for an answer.
You blinked. âLike, as boyfriend and girlfriend?â
âYes, as boyfriend and girlfriend,â Jeonghan confirmed, exasperated. He gripped your hand tighter, as if he was getting his feelings across with a gentle squeeze. âLike Hallie and Noah.â
âItâs Allie.â
âYeah, whatever.â He scoffed, surprisingly tender in the way he cupped your cheeks and pulled you closer. You were still a bundle of nerves, but something about Jeonghan made you feel secure. Quite the opposite of how you theoretically should feel around a demon. âHey,â he tried again, his voice no louder than murmur, âI wanna kiss you.â
You smiled. âThen do it already.â
And so he did.
Jeonghan had kissed you before, but it was nothing like this. It seemed so urgent before, like you both knew you were running out of time. This time, though, he was slow, taking his time to memorize the shape of your lips as he moved his mouth against yours. You felt his long lashes tickle your cheeks, and it almost made you giggle, so you had to pull back to regain your composure. Jeonghan looked down at you, chest heaving even though the kiss was nothing but gentle.
âAgain,â you pleaded.
Immediately, his current expression turned cocky. The corner of Jeonghanâs mouth lifted in amusement, and he kissed you not-so-gently this time. He pulled your body flush against his, and you reciprocated by wrapping your arms around his neck. The moment he slid his tongue past your lips, you heard a soft groan from Jeonghan that made your knees buckle under you.
Jeonghan held your waist with one hand and the back of your head with the other. Even though you were still standing on two feet, you were sure that he could hold you up, anyway. He gripped you like he never wanted to let you go.
âYou taste good,â he mumbled against your lips.
âYou taste like⊠coffee.â You made a face and let a giggle slip. Â
âWell, itâs a good thing you like coffee.â
âNot when Iâm tasting it secondhand.â
âYou know, a minute ago, I wanted to fuck you properly,â he said. âNow, Iâm just miffed. Slightly turned on, but still miffed.â
âFuck me properly?â you asked, sort of embarrassed by how high your voice got. You inched closer, allowing Jeonghanâs finger to toy with the waistband of your underwear. In return, you placed your hand flat against his abdomen, moving it down slowly until you reached his crotch. Jeonghan hissed when you pressed against his growing bulge. âYou meanâŠâ
âWith my cock, yeah,â he finished bluntly.
It was silent for a moment. You removed your hand, swallowing carefully after realizing that your guardian demon was hard.
Jeonghan wordlessly slid his hand down your pants, maintaining direct eye contact with you. His hand cupped your clothed cunt, and although you tried to resist, you couldnât help but throb for more contact. You wondered if he just wanted to see your reactions, and you confirmed this by watching his smirk form when you whimpered.
âOh,â you breathed out.
âYeah, you like that?â
His voice was heavy, ragged. You felt like you could get drunk off it, so, naturally, you backed up with him until the back of your legs hit the bed. You made a sound of agreement when he hummed, prompting you to answer his question. You couldnât even form words when all you could think about was being under him. Jeonghanâs palming grew more intense, and you were having a harder time staying upright.
Then, he was occupied with your neck. Jeonghan dragged his soft lips along the flesh, nipping and biting where he pleased. You let out a soft whine when he sucked on that one spot that turned your brain into mush.
âIâm gonna lay you down,â he said, although it felt like a question with the way he was looking at you. His eyes were careful, like he was holding onto your every word before following through. âAm I doing this right?â
You laughed, delighted as he set you down on your bed and got over you. You looped your arms around his shoulders and asked, âWhat do you mean?â
He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. âAm I going about this the right way? I donât really do this sort of thing.â
You were surprised at his sudden meekness. Judging from Jeonghanâs overwhelming confidence from your past hookups with him, you expected him to carry on with the same arrogance. You never thought he would be so hesitant all of a sudden.
âYouâre doing perfect,â you reassured with a chaste peck to his lips.
âRight.â He did one of his breathless laughs, easing your nerves with his grin. âJust tell me if Iâm screwing up, then.â
Jeonghan dipped his head again to pepper kisses across your collarbone, working his way back up to the column of your neck. He worked on your sweet spot, biting and sucking until he had successfully left a bruise. You squirmed underneath him the entire time, tugging your hands through his hair and begging for him to fix the ache between your legs.
The demon only chuckled darkly in response. As he bit the shell of your ear, he removed your jeans and underwear swiftly, which you aided by kicking the garments off your ankles. He prodded your cunt with nimble fingers, grinning wider when he saw the desperation in your eyes.
âYouâre so wet,â he commented in a silky voice. âAll for me, huh?â
âShut up,â you grumbled, âand take your clothes off already.â
Jeonghan rose up to sit back on your thighs, staring at you the entire time he pulled his shirt off and discarded it to the side. You couldnât help but ogle at his figure; he was absolutely gorgeousâsculpted by God Himself.
âDonât do that,â he said gruffly when you reached out to poke his stomach. You deduced that Jeonghan was most definitely ticklish and trying to hide that weakness from you.
âBut your reaction was cute.â
He rolled his eyes but smiled, his hands moving to tug at the hem of your shirt. âCâmon, your turn.â
âH-huh?â
Even when Jeonghan gave you head in the past, you always kept your shirt on. He, too, had never stripped down in front of you like this. Surely, you were expecting this to happen, but the thought of being fully naked in front of Jeonghan was intimidating. It felt like you two were reaching a level of intimacy and closeness that you thought was unattainable months prior.
âDonât worry,â he said. âI already know youâre not wearing a bra. You've gone braless for, like, almost a week now.â
You raised a suspicious brow at him. âYou were staring at my tits?â
âNo comment.â
Jeonghan placed his slender hands on your waist, squeezing your sides comfortingly as you pulled your shirt off over your head. He watched you with marvel in his eyes, eyes trained on the swell of your breasts. He leaned close to press soft kisses against the skin, whispering praise as he did so. You didnât peg the demon to be so romantic, but you werenât complaining.
You heard gentle pattering outside your window while Jeonghan kissed down your chest.
âItâs raining,â you whispered. The two of you broke apart for a brief moment while Jeonghan hastily got rid of his pants and boxers. âAn angelâs crying.â
You looked to the side, and you nearly had to look away before Jeonghan could notice how flustered you looked. The demon stood in all his glory. You had seen naked men before, but Jeonghan was, of course, a creature beyond human comprehension. He was the most gorgeous being you had ever come across.
And, strangely enough, for the first time, you didnât feel that uncontrollable tug of desire when you looked at him. You werenât compelled to drop to your knees and submit to the demon. Your attraction felt innate, much like how the rain falls so naturally from the sky. Not that Jeonghan ever had you under a spell or anything, but it almost felt like he was becoming more human.
Whether that meant he was losing his powers or was growing accustomed to living as a human, you had no idea.
âYouâre beautiful,â he admitted, looking down at you like you were the stars in the night sky.
âThanks,â you replied shyly.
âThatâs your reaction?â He beamed, amused. âWell, whatever. Iâd rather you save your voice for when I make you scream, human.â
You thought it would be impossible at this point, but your cheeks grew even hotter. Yet, you couldnât even chide the demon because he was already getting over you, promptly attacking your neck with more kisses.
You were a soaking mess already, so Jeonghanâs fingers slid into your cunt with ease. You were taken aback yourself by how effortless it was, but you figured two fingers couldnât hold a candle to the girth of his cock.
You propped yourself up on your elbows to watch how Jeonghan fingered you. Both of you stared at the spot where his fingers disappeared in you, and the sight only turned you on even more. For once, Jeonghan was pleasuring someone else without the favor being returned, yet you had never seen him so satiated. He was thriving off of your moans and cries, like the sounds itself were feeding him.
A moan escaped your lips, fragmenting off into broken whimpers as Jeonghanâs fingers sped up. You felt your thighs start to shakeâthe preamble of your orgasm building up. Heat bloomed under your skin, and you dug your nails into the demonâs shoulders to warn him.
The warning only spurred him to move his fingers fasterâin scissoring motions this time. His thumb found purchase on your clit, circling the ball of nerves slowly. Finally, you fell off the edge, crying out in ecstasy as boundless pleasure tore through your body. Your mind went blank, thinking about nothing but how good you felt. It was like you were bathed in heavenly light.
âI got you,â Jeonghan murmured, kissing the spot under your ear.
If you had half the mind to kick him in the shin, you would. Pretending to comfort you while torturing your swollen clit throughout your orgasm was pure evil. You expected no less from a demon.
âWill you do me a favor and fuck me already?â you asked, exasperated. For good measure, you flattened your palm against his stomach and slid your hand down his abs.
âAlright. Beg for it.â
You balked. âW-what?â
âYou want me to fuck you that bad? Then beg for it,â he said with an air of haughtiness. You couldnât tell if he was joking or not, but the man didnât budge. âIâm waiting.â
âI am not begging you, thatâs soââ You paused. Jeonghan raised a brow, prompting you to continue, so you admitted, âItâs embarrassing!â
He shrugged. âI think weâre both past the point of being embarrassed in front of each other, human.â
You sucked in a sharp breath. âOkay, fine. You want me to beg? Iâll beg.â You laid back down, looping your arms around Jeonghanâs neck once more and pulling him close. âIâve been waiting months for you to fuck me, so please make me feel good and IâllâŠâ
âYouâll what?â The mischievous glint in his eyes was unmistakable.
âIâll be good.â
âAre you sure?â
âYes!â you whined, the agitation growing in your chest. âIâll be a good girl, okay? Iâll be really, really good.â
âAlright, Iâm sold.â
Jeonghan pressed a kiss to your forehead, letting out a light laugh before his demeanor completely shifted. His easygoing smile turned into a proud smirk when he practically folded you in half, throwing one of your legs over his shoulders so that he could line himself up to your entrance. He hummed, teasing your folds with the head of his cock.
You wanted to cry out, to push at his chest and beg him to just fuck you already. All of the teasing had you at your tipping point, and you were about to complain until you felt the tip of Jeonghanâs cock enter you slowly.
Your breath hitched. He hadnât even completely entered you, and you were already throbbing at the thought of his cock inside you. Jeonghan used one hand to hold your hips down, pushing into you slowly but surely. You could tell he didnât want to rush or hurt you, so he kept his eyes trained on your face the entire time, gauging whether to proceed based off your reactions.
âSorry,â he apologized, placing a kiss against your stomach as he continued pushing his way inside you until he bottomed out. Your eyes nearly rolled back once he was fully inside, and all you could do was clench around him until he growled. âHold still.â
âKeep going,â you begged, holding onto him like he was your anchor. If you let go of him, you were sure you would fall apart.
Jeonghan simpered, looking quite delighted as he started rocking his hips slowly. It seemed as though he was waiting for you to get adjusted to his size. Despite all, you were still clenching around his cock occasionally, leaving him holding onto you tighter and groaning into the crook of your neck. Jeonghan sped up his thrusts and left a bruising grip on your hips.
âYou like that?â he asked, and, lord, you nearly came for the second time just by his words.
âJeonghan!â you cried out, nearly gasping the words. âI⊠I wantââ
âWant what?â he cut you off smoothly, smirking down at your disheveled appearance. He punctuated his words with a sharp thrust. âWhat do you want, princess?â
You whimpered. âI do wanna be your girlfriend.â
He froze for a moment, stunned. Apparently, that wasnât the route he was expecting you to take.
Then, the demonâs shock wore off and was replaced with a warm smile. âYeah?â he asked, leaning down to meet your lips in a sweet kiss. He pulled away to look into your eyes. âIâd be honored to be your boyfriend, Y/N.â
It was like clockworkâthe way your orgasm hit you at that very moment. You tightened around him uncontrollably, the sporadic motions causing Jeonghan to cum as well. He pulled out right before his climax, ropes of cum spilling onto your stomach. You watched it pool together with hazy, unfocused eyes, still dazed from your orgasm and sudden confession.
Jeonghan was your boyfriend now.
âI see why mortal men are such fools for women,â Jeonghan said once he collapsed next to you. âIf sex is always this good, I would start wars, too.â
âYouâre a demon prince. Youâve started wars, anyway.â
âOh, right.â
Afterward, you taught Jeonghan a thing or two about aftercare. The concept was completely foreign to him, so you informed him that good boyfriends took care of their girlfriends after sex. When Jeonghan told you to just grab a tissue and call it a day, you had to scold him to get him to clean you up.
To your surprise, Jeonghan did a satisfactory job. You half-expected him to do the absolute bare minimum, but you could definitely see that he was trying his best.
So, you bestowed upon him the highest honor: allowing him to sleep with you in your bed.
Jeonghan got under the sheets beside you, wrapping an arm around you once you cozied up to him. It was strange how comfortable you felt with him, especially considering he was your assigned demon. In some parallel universe, you and Jeonghan might have been normal people with normal lives, and you two probably felt the same level of closeness as you did right now.
Neither of you could sleep right away. Jeonghan traced patterns along your arm and you told him countless stories about your childhood. He smiled fondly, intently listening to the life you lived before him.
Later, he kissed you, and, between bated breaths, whispered promises of forever. And eventually, the soft trickling of rain lulled you both to sleep.
You woke up freezing.
At first, you thought Jeonghan had stolen the blanket. It wasnât anything out of the ordinary for the Prince of Greed to be, well, greedy. However, considering your limbs were entangled with his, that didnât seem to be the case.
The feeling was awfully familiar. It was the same sub-zero temperature you experienced when Jeonghan appeared in your room the first time. However, it was brief this time, dissipating as soon as it started.
Although you couldnât identify the strange man who materialized in the center of your room, you had a good idea of who it was.
âOh, Belphegor,â Jeonghan greeted without a care in the world, confirming your suspicions immediately. You were amazed that the half-naked demon was completely unfazed by his demon friend coming out of nowhere. Maybe this was just a regular morning for their kind. âAbout time you showed up.â
Belphegor made a noncommittal sound. âYeah, wellâŠâ
âI canât believe it took you centuries to fetch the Hand.â
âI was going to do it,â he said, âbut then I didnât want to.â
Jeonghan groaned. âYou idiot.â
You gathered up the bedsheets, making sure to cover yourself fully before turning your attention back to the two demons. Maybe if you acted like everything about this situation was normal, it would distract from the fact that you only had a blanket to cover your naked body. The stranger seemed to have no interest in you whatsoever, so you figured he wouldnât think anything of you and Jeonghan sleeping together.
âJeonghan!â you hissed, glowering at your startled boyfriend. âIt wouldnât kill you to wake me up?â
âOh, Y/N,â he started, seeming pleased with himself. He gestured toward the demon next to him, who looked like he had just rolled out of bed himself. âThis is Belphegor, but you can call him by his human name: Wonwoo.â
âNice to meet you,â you said cautiously.
âHi.â
There was clearly no room for conversation between you two.
âAnyway,â Wonwoo continued, shooting Jeonghan a curious look, âwhatâre you gonna do with the key? Youâre not opening the Outerverse, are you?â
Jeonghan shook his head. âIâm not gonna release the Outer Gods, Iâmââ
âWell, thatâs good to know,â Wonwoo cut him off, clearly uninterested in the conversation. âNow that I know youâre not trying to kill us all, Iâll get going.â
âYeah, okay, good talk.â
Later in the day, you sat on the floor of your living room with Jeonghan and Seokmin. Jeonghan was giving him a rundown of Belphegorâs visit, which didnât take very long considering he was there for a grand total of nine moments. You almost made an offhand comment about how Jeonghan didnât give you any time to get dressed, but that would have exposed what went down between you two last night.
Neither of you had even mentioned to Seokmin about sealing the deal.
âAlright, so,â the Quartarion started, âhow does this work?â
Jeonghan pulled out a ten dollar bill, a deformed-looking Twinkie, and a tiny bottle of bath salts from the pocket of his sweater. He laid them out carefully around the Right Hand of Doom before looking up at you and Seokmin. A smug grin spread across his face, but you and the angel were flabbergasted.
âA Twinkie?â you asked.
âHe likes sweets,â was the extent of Jeonghanâs explanation.
âPrimordial Outer God of space-time likes Twinkies. Good to know.â
âAnd the ten dollars?â Seokmin asked.
âHe likes money, too,â Jeonghan said. Before either of you could question the bath salts, he pointed to the bottle and added, âThese are just for the vibes.â
Nice.
âAnyway,â Jeonghan continued, âthese types of invocations usually require human sacrifices or something along those lines.â Seokmin and him glanced in your direction at the same time, and you shot them each an icy glare. Jeonghan coughed into his fist. âWeâre obviously not sacrificing you. Iâm just saying heâs more likely to answer me because Iâm a demon prince.â
Seokmin looked on edge. âSo⊠are we starting?â
âI donât want Y/N in the room,â Jeonghan answered.
âWhat?â you asked, shocked at the sudden dismissal. âWhy?â
âHeâs so powerfulâeven knowing of his existence can drive some mortals insane,â Jeonghan muttered darkly. âSeokmin should be fine since heâs an angel, but thereâs a chance youâd go mad if you heard his voice, so stay back until I say so.â
He didnât have to tell you twice. You were already starting to get to your feet the second he mentioned mortals going insane.
âIâll stand in the hallway, then,â you decided, far too curious to lock yourself in one of the rooms.
You watched as Jeonghan and Seokmin took each otherâs hands quietly and exchanged a silent nod of understanding before closing their eyes. Jeonghan then started reciting some strange incantation that was far more complicated than the one you used to summon him. It seemed to drag on for close to a minute before the air around them went still. It was as if they were trapped in a time vortex, suspended in space while all you could do was wait for them to be released.
You took careful steps backward until you were against the wall, and then you sank down to the floor. As much as you tried to calm your nerves, you were riddled with anxiety. You had to physically hold your thigh down to keep it from bouncing.
Jeonghan didnât tell you how exactly this would go. Hell, he probably didnât know himself. Because you were so unaware, though, you werenât sure if what was happening right now was normal or not. The two men werenât even twitching or breathing; they were like still images.
Minutes stretched on. You werenât sure how long it had been, but each passing second felt longer than it should have been. There was nothing you could do but wait. Stare at the motionless air around the two boys and wait.
It had probably been around half an hour when Seokminâs eyes shot open with a loud gasp. You scrambled to your feet immediately, badgering the poor boy with questions to find out what happened while he was just trying to catch his breath. Jeonghan, on the other hand, looked the very image of tranquility when he opened his eyes.
âWhat is it?â you kept asking. âWhat happened?â
Seokmin had a strange, distant look in his eyes. He tried to speak several times, but no words came out.
âCould you get him something warm to drink, Y/N?â Jeonghan asked. âI think heâs in shock.â
âIâllâIâll make some tea,â you stammered, stumbling over your feet before you could start walking properly. âHow about you? Are youââ You stopped yourself once you saw the hint of fear in Jeonghanâs eyes, and it chilled your blood. You couldnât even fathom what they had just gone through. âIâll get you a cup, too.â
It took two hours for the two men to recoverâslowly but surely. You brought them tea and gave them time to process what they had just been through. It mainly consisted of you sitting to the side and keeping yourself from asking any questions. You figured theyâd tell you if they wanted, but you werenât in any position to press them.
Jeonghan seemed to feel bad for letting Seokmin tag along. He kept glancing at the angel with sad eyes, seeming remorseful. Then, he turned his attention to you. To your surprise, he walked over to where you sat on the couch to sit next to you and lay his head on your shoulder.
âHey,â you called softly. âAre you feeling better?â
He nodded, although he didnât look you in the eyes. âYou should probably go to your room. Yog-Sothoth told us heâs thinking about my request, so he could be making up his mind any minute now.â
âYouâre going back?â
âI guess. It was more like my consciousness was transported there instead of my physical body.â
He said it like it should have been no big deal, but the two were clearly unsettled by their visit. You werenât sure how to feel about them going back. It could break Seokmin for good. Even though he was an angel-blood, he didnât have the power that Jeonghan had.
âThe fact that he listened to Jeonghanâs request means that heâs considering it,â Seokmin spoke up after a period of silence between you three. âItâs a good thing you didnât go, Y/N. The Outerverse is the most terrifying realm Iâve ever seen, and Iâve been to Alabama.â
You smiled a little. At least he seemed to be feeling more at ease now.
âThey say Yog-Sothoth exists beyond our reality, so he can possibly see other streams of reality that arenât connected to the branches of Creation,â Jeonghan explained. âThat sounds insane, right? When youâre in the Outerverse seeing those pockets of different realities⊠it can make you go a little crazy. I mean, Iâd give Hell a five star Yelp review over the Outerverse.â
Seokmin tucked his head in his folded arms. âI never wanna go to that place again.â
âWell, Iâm not exactly planning to have my next birthday party there.â
âMammon,â a voice boomed in your ears, and the sound itself was weird.ââ There were undertones of echoes in its words, and you couldnât even tell if the voice was in your head or not.
You didnât have to ask who it was because the fear in Seokminâs eyes was unmistakable. Jeonghan straightened up, panicked, but you assumed it was because you were still in the room because he swiftly placed his hands over your ears in an attempt to muffle the sound. You werenât sure it would help, but you did feel safer that way.
âGod of Time, I appreciate your presence.â
âIâve decided to accept your offer,â Yog-Sothoth said. His voice sounded louder, even with Jeonghanâs hands over your ears. âIâll help you.â
There was a way.
He removed his hands from the sides of your head, and you sat up straight again. You never thought those four words would light up so much hope inside you, but here you were, beaming like an idiot next to your demon boyfriend. There was a hope for a future between you and Jeonghanâhope that you two could live out the rest of your lives as humans. More importantly, there was hope that you two could live out the rest of your lives together.
For a moment, you were filled with doubt. There was so much at stake for this decision, and you couldnât fathom someone loving you so much that they would give their world up for you.
âJeonghan,â you murmured, âare you sure about giving up immortality?â
âIâd rather live a short life with you than spend the rest of eternity longing for what we could have had,â he declared with a fire blazing in his eyes. âI donât want forever if itâs not with you, Y/N.â
His soft words coupled with his fierce gaze only sent butterflies to the pit of your stomach. You were hopeless when it came to Jeonghan; whatever he said left you like putty in his hands.
âJeonghan,â Seokmin whispered, looking fearful. He was pointing at the makeshift summoning circle. âThe Twinkieâs gone.â
So, the primordial Outer God of space-time was helping Jeonghan out because of a Twinkie. You decided against questioning why the all-powerful being was about to manipulate the fabric of reality over an over-glorified sponge cake.
âBut,â Yog-Sothothâs voice echoed in your ears as he spoke, âfor this exchange, I require a sacrifice.â
âA sacrifice?â Jeonghan asked, frowning. âThe Twinkieââ
âNo, Mammon, not the Twinkie. I want you to bring me a loved one; an eye for an eye.â
You frowned. Jeonghan could split his soul into twoâone residing in his demon form in Hell, and the other residing in his human body hereâbut he had to sacrifice someone he loved? You couldnât understand how this was a fair exchange; he was already giving up a part of him for this ordeal.
âSacrifice a loved one in exchange for what I want,â Jeonghan echoed, a faraway look in his eyes. âIâve seen this before.â
âYou have?â Your eyebrows narrowed. âWhen?â
âAvengers: Endgame.â
âYouâre kidding, right?â
âDude,â Seokmin chimed in, and you were starting to think you were the only one who understood the gravity of the situation. âThis is literally Thanos sacrificing Gamora for the Soul Stone.â
âStop embarrassing us in front of the Outer God!â you whispered harshly.
âWell,â Jeonghan started, his tone growing serious again, âIâm sure you know my choice.â
âYes, I do.â Yog-Sothoth hummed, and something about it seemed calculative. You wanted to interject and ask Jeonghan what the hell he was talking about, but you felt like you were immobilized. âVery well, then.â
You looked at Seokmin to see if he understood what was going on, but he seemed just as confused as you were. Jeonghan just stared ahead, refusing to look either of you in the eye, and panic rose in your throat. You wanted to trust him, to confidently know that he wasnât choosing you or Seokmin, but you really didnât know who else it could have been.
Like Jeonghan told you before, demons didnât care about anyone or anything. Only you and Seokmin were able to crack him open.
That was why horrifying realization was drawn across both of your faces. Jeonghan was choosing either you or Seokmin, and considering you were the reason he wanted to be mortal in the first place, you were terrified he was going to sacrifice Seokmin. And it seemed like Seokmin was terrified of that possibility, too.
You stood up and grabbed his shoulder. âJeonghan, youââ
But before you could get any words out, you were sinking and the ground was swallowing you whole.
Everything went dark, and then silence followed.
You had gone under anesthesia once in your life. It was back when you were thirteen and the doctors had to perform an appendectomy on you. Being sedated didnât feel like sleeping at all; it felt like closing your eyes and then waking up to a weird jumpcut in your memory. You remembered being extremely disoriented at first, not even realizing what had just happened to you.
Now, as your eyes fluttered open, you felt the same way.
You were tucked in your bed, which had to have been impossible because you were in the living room when everything turned black. You sat up to gather your bearings. Your head was a mess for a second, unable to focus on one thing at a time.
Jeonghan. Seokmin. Yog-Sothoth. Twinkies. Sacrifice.
The words etched themselves in your bones until you felt dread seep in. If you were still in your bed, completely unharmed, that meant Jeonghan had gotten rid of Seokmin. You looked down at your hands, and you realized they were shaking before you could stop yourself.
âJeonghan!â you yelled, furious. Before he could hurry to your room, you stormed out, fighting back tears. Just as you thought, he was rushing down the hallway to see you, but you werenât in the mood for a happy reunion. âHow could you?!â
He looked confused. âDidnât⊠didnât you want this? Iâm human now, Y/N.â A bright smile broke across his face. âYog-Sothoth split my soul, so Mammonâs back in Hell where he belongs, but Iâm here to stay as a human.â
You punched his shoulder. Hard.
âOkay, ow,â he complained. âY/N, Iââ
âDonât,â you warned. Your voice was wavering and you could feel your throat closing up. âI donât wanna hear it after what you did to Seokmin. You promised me you wouldnât kill him!â
As if on cue, the angel-blood, who was supposed to be dead, peaked into the hallway from where he was in the living room. He had a bowl of ice cream in his hands, shaking his head at you repeatedly.
âIâm not dead,â he clarified, even though you could very clearly see that. âIâm alive.â
âOh.â You had to take a step back because now, you were more confused than ever. âYouâre alive.â
âYou sound disappointed. Donât worry, Iâm not gonna steal your boyfriend.â
âIâm not! Iâm⊠really fucking confusedâwait, you found out weâre dating, too?â You turned to look up at Jeonghan. âWait, so whoâd you sacrifice, then? What happened after I blacked out? I feel like Iâm so in the dark right now.â
Jeonghan looked down at his feet, suddenly glum. âI sacrificed my pet.â
âMount FuâI mean, Doljjong? I thought it was dead already?â
âNo, my other pet.â He showed you his phone screen, which was on an article about Mount Vesuvius going extinct. âJjongddol.â
âOh, another rock.â You tried to sound sympathetic, but it was hard to feel bad for a volcano. âIâm so sorry for your loss.â
âHeâs not even sad about it!â Seokmin argued, pointing his spoon at Jeonghan in an accusatory manner. âHe gaslit the Time God!â
Jeonghan huffed. âI am sad, okay! Just because it took me a while to remember his name doesnât mean I donât have fond memories with Doljjong!â
âJjongddol,â you corrected.
âOh, rightâJjongddol!â
You smiled, taking his face into your hands. âYou know what this means, though?â
Jeonghan looked at you, eyebrows lifting in pleasant surprise. âWhat?â
(âOh, Christ, theyâre gonna start making out,â Seokmin muttered and hurried back to the couch. âIâm gonna look for movies on the TV, Jeonghan!â)
âIt means we finally have all the time in the world to ourselves, Yoon Jeonghan.â You got on your toes to press a chaste kiss to his lips, which he reciprocated almost immediately. âIâm a little sad I donât have a guardian demon anymore, though, even if he sucked at his job.â
âHey, I didnât suck!â He pouted a little, which you laughed at. âNow, though, you get to show me how to be a proper human.â
âOh, shoot. We need to find you a place to live since my lease only allows one person, and then we need to figure out getting your documents in order, and thenââ
Jeonghan cut you off with a laugh. âIâm on board for all that, but Iâd really like to celebrate my new life right now by watching a movie with my best friend and girlfriend.â He slung an arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer, and you couldnât help but giggle. âAnd then tonight Iâd like toââ
âAlright, alright!â you interjected, feeling your face go hot. âYou know, the demon part of you might be gone power-wise, but I donât know about personality-wise.â
âYou love it, though.â
âJeonghan, letâs watch Superbad!â Seokmin called from the living room.
âOkay!â Jeonghan turned to you and held out his hand. âCome on. I heated up popcorn and even put in some jalapeños for you.â
âHey.â You stopped him, and you werenât exactly sure why, but you felt so overwhelmed by your emotions at the moment. There were so many forces against you two, yet you still managed to fight the odds. A constant storm you both battled to stay together, and only now you felt like you could finally breathe. So, when Jeonghan looked at you, the words came out naturally. âI love you.â
He looked at you for a moment, before his face broke into one of those heartbreakingly beautiful smiles again. âI love you, too, Y/N.â
Now it was your time to smile and grab his hand. âLetâs go watch that movie.â
âOh, is Y/N watching with us?â Seokmin asked.
âThis may come as a shock, but this happens to be my apartment, Seokmin.â
And, as you three watched the movie, you and Jeonghan kept your hands interlocked, unwilling to let go. You thought it was beautiful how two hands could touch and forge a bond like no other. It must have been why you and Jeonghan had made it past every obstacle that came hurtling your way.
In some parallel universe out there, some stream of reality that didnât branch from Creation, you and Jeonghan were probably normal people who found each other naturally. In that world, neither of you had to go through all the pain and suffering to find each other, to finally end up in each otherâs arms.Â
But you would choose this reality over that one every single time. You would go through all the trails and tribulations for Jeonghan however many times you needed to because, at the end of the day, the love you two had for each other couldnât compare to any other reality out there.Â
And you would never admit it out loud, but he was right; your guardian demon didnât totally suck at his job.
#svt scenarios#seventeen scenarios#jeonghan smut#seventeen smut#svt smut#seventeen#jeonghan x reader#yoon jeonghan#svt imagines#seventeen imagines#jeonghan imagines#jeonghan scenarios#svt hard hours#seventeen hard hours#seventeen x reader
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Frosted Whispers.
Black Fem! Reader x Terry RichmondBillonaire! & Kelvin Harrison Jr.Billonaire!
Word Count: 3544k đ
Warnings: +18, dirty talk, mention of burnout, praise, mention of favoritism, profanity, mention of wealth and power, fluff, soft Kelvin, soft Terry, voyeurism, toxic smut, confession, fingering, oral(male & female receiving) slight degradation, dominant duo, teasing, PWP, consensual for all parties, Kelvin and Terry are bosses but spoil the reader, unprotected sex.(wear protection)
Taglist: @megamindsecretlair @life-in-the-slut-house @liatreads @sweettea-and-honeybutter @ovohanna24 @henneseyhoe @euphorichappiness10 @mightbeher @miguelspvssy @simplyzeeka @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @uzumaki-rebellion @planetblaque @blackmoonchilee @slutsareteacherstoo @writingsbytee @nayaesworld @mymindisneverhere @sageispunk @slippinninque @babybratzmaraj @soft-persephone @keyera-jackson @amplifiedmoan @avoidthings
A/N: Happy holidays! I've been seeing these two on my timeline so much that I decided to write about these two cuties, here is a cozy, nasty Christmas gift from me to you! Enjoy! đđ€¶ Don't forget to leave a like, comment & reblog to support, feel free to ask for a request! â€ïž
Summary: You were sent to a cozy cabin Christmas retreat in the secluded Rocky Mountains picked by two of your wealthy bosses Terry and Kelvin, for a much-needed break from the hustle and bustle of your corporate lives.
ââââ
Ding. The notification you've been waiting for since September, you grabbed your phone from the dresser and your eyes scanned the text message from Mr. Richmond or Terry as you would call him outside of the workplace.
Terry.
We are on our way to pick you up, don't forget to wear a coat since it's gonna be snowing out there.
Your phone buzzed again, you giggled at Kelvin text in the group chat called âIt's Work, right?â
Kelvin.đ€Łđ
Don't forget to be out of that house by the time we pull upđ
You.
You ain't my daddy Kelvin,đđ€Ł
Terry.đđ
Kel, you play too damn much.
You grinned like a Cheshire cat from Alice In Wonderland, laughing at the messages, unlocking your phone and quickly sending a text back to the attractive man who was also your boss.
You.
Okay, can't wait to see both of you! I'll be waiting impatiently đ€Ł
Dressed in a warm toffee-colored turtleneck sweater and black pants, matching boots, and socks adorned your feet. Your brown box braids hung to your elbows, a beanie atop your pretty head.
Full of zeal you were for a much-needed break from work, luckily you chose to work from home. It was a private cozy cabin in the Rocky Mountains with your bosses Terry and Kelvin.
You worked diligently and consistently in a successful corporate business which was an LLC, owned by Terryâs father and Kelvinâs father through inheritance, which some would call a clear, cold case of nepotism. Turns out their fathers were the best of friends.
Some would call it a white boys club at that, but it wasn't at all, it was black-owned by two black men with black business workers there. It was certified for sure.
Letâs not forget that you worked for two very handsome men, but on the outside, they were strict yet fair to their employees. Knowing when to not take shit from anyone and ready to fire the ones who were douchebags, or being inappropriate to co-workers. Prematurely erased from the planet, and unable to find another job.
The men made sure to get tested and sent you the papers to prove it that they were both clean, you did the same and let them know that you were on the pill. You were glad they did it without complaining, they wanted to be honest with you.
Other co-workers accused Terry and Kelvin of favoritism, which only involved you since you were an assistant to them both, you didn't make excuses, and you arrived at work on time, and worked nights and days.
You earned an amazing amount of pay that allowed you to get in a great house in a safe neighborhood, and books you wanted to read, places you wanted to go. It was a dream come true.
Obviously, you didn't give a damn what other people said or thought of you. You knew that you worked hard to get where you needed to be, you didn't need to prove it to anyone.
Looking in the full-length mirror, making sure you look good for you self. You sure did as always.
âDamn, I look fine as hell and I'm nervous,â you mumbled.
You caught the sound of a horn honking cutting through your thoughts, you kissed your teeth and grabbed your pink duffle bag.
Hurried your way out of your house, turned on your alarm and locked the front door with quickness.
Kelvin leaned against the luxurious black truck with a sinful grin on his face, while Terry sat behind the wheel. Leaning in the seat as his eyes flicker toward you, chuckling at your almost lateness.
âHurry your ass up, girl! The snow is probably melting by now!â Kelvin hollered with a smirk.
You rolled your eyes playfully at them, as your movement was fast anyway, you've never been to the Rocky Mountains before, so seen that much snow.
This was your first taste of cabin living, the crisp snow crunched underneath your shoes and greeted you with the holiday season.
Normally, bosses and their employees weren't at good terms but it was different between you, Terry, and Kelvin. When they wanted to go to dinner, you agreed.
At first, it was about the benefits that came with being friends with Terry and Kelvin, but they turned out to be such sweethearts, normally some men wouldn't understand or try to get with co-workers but this was different.
âIâm coming, damn!â You yelled back, slinging your duffle bag over your shoulder.
Kelvin held out his hand like the gentleman he was, you passed your duffle bag to him. âWhat a perfect gentleman, thank you,â you replied, in a royalty-like tone.
He nodded and opened the door for you, in the backseat. âYouâre welcome, after you, my lady,â he replied back, his tone in royalty-like.
You chuckled lightly, âYâall are too much,â you said, shaking your head as you slid into the backseat.
The car was warm with the heat blowing at the right temperature, a stark contrast to the brisk winter air outside. Terry glanced back at you through the rearview mirror, his playful smirk softening into something more tender.
âYouâre gonna love it up there, just you wait,â Terry chimed in, his voice smooth as melted chocolate.
âIâm sure I will, as long as you two donât start acting like children,â you teased, leaning back comfortably against the plush leather seats.
Kelvin turned slightly in his seat, his dark eyes sparkling with mischief. âWho, us? Never. Weâre perfect angels,â he said, feigning innocence. But you knew better.
âRight, and Iâm the Queen of England,â you retorted, crossing your arms playfully.
Terry chuckled, shaking his head. âYou know you love it. Besides, youâre the one whoâs been working your ass off. You deserve this break.â
âYeah, but I didnât think itâd come with a side of yâall acting like complete goofballs,â you replied, rolling your eyes playfully.
The car came to a stop in the clear driveway, before you can reach for the door handle, Terry opened the door for and stepped out. Thanking him with a warm tone and you passed your bag to Kelvin, while you smiled at him.
The cabin was nestled at the base of a mountain, surrounded by the whispering pines dusted in white. The moment you stepped out, the air felt crisp and fresh, invigorating.
âWow, this is beautiful,â you breathed, taking in the stunning view.
Terry stepped out beside you, his tall frame casting a long shadow. âWelcome to our little winter wonderland,â he coaxed, a proud grin spreading across his face.
Kelvin joined you, his hands thrust deep into his pockets, his playful demeanor shifting slightly, as if he was soaking in the serenity. âAnd weâve got all the comforts of home. Hot cocoa, a fireplace, andââ he paused dramatically, ââa fully stocked kitchen.â
âDonât tempt me,â you said, raising an eyebrow. âI might just make you both work.â
âNow, thatâs the spirit!â Kelvin laughed, nudging you playfully. âBut only if you promise not to burn anything.â
âHa! Very funny,â you shot back. âIâm not that bad.â
Terry leaned closer, lowering his voice. âWeâll see about that. Just remember, if you burn something, youâre on dish duty.â
You laughed, the sound echoing through the quiet woods. As the three of you made your way to the cabin, a sense of warmth and comfort enveloped you. Kelvin unlocked the door and nudged it, You walked in first while Kelvin and Terry followed behind you.
Inside, the cabin was just as cozy as you imagined, the fireplace crackling and casting flickering shadows on the walls. It was breathtaking, biting down on your lip.
âLet me show you to your room,â Kelvin chimed in, his tone shifting to something softer, more sincere. âWe want you to feel at home here.â
You followed him down a short hallway, feeling your pulse quicken slightly as he opened the door to a beautifully decorated room.
âWow, this is amazing,â you exclaimed, stepping inside. The space was adorned with plush blankets and twinkling fairy lights, presents on the bed with your name on them.
âAll for you,â Kelvin exclaimed, leaning against the doorframe, his gaze steady. âWe wanted you to feel special.â
Your heart fluttered at his words, warmth flooding your cheeks. âYou guys really didnât have to do all this,â you said, turning to him.
âOf course we did,â Terry chimed in from behind you. âYou work harder than anyone I know. You deserve it.â
You felt like a queen in a storybook, soon to be courted by two kings who wanted to give you the world that was created by only them.
You turned to him, finding his gaze sincere and deep, something settling in your chest. âThank you. Really. This means a lot.â
âGood, now go get settled. Weâll be right out here,â Kelvin added, his voice dipped low, almost intimate.
As you closed the door, you took a deep breath, feeling the excitement and tension swirl in the air. You felt like you were on the edge of something new, something thrilling. You took off your coat and beanie, throw it in the dresser, take off your shoes and slide on some slippers.
After unpacking, you joined them in the living room, where they were both lounging on the couch watching a movie from the 2000s, a bottle of wine and glasses waiting on the coffee table.
âJoin us?â Terry asked, his dark eyes inviting.
âAbsolutely,â you smiled, taking a seat between them, feeling the warmth radiate from their bodies. Grabbing a champagne glass from Terry.
âYou know, weâve been talking,â Kelvin began, his voice a low rumble.
You raised an eyebrow, curious. âOh really? Whatâs this about?â
Terry leaned closer, his voice dropping to a whisper. âYouâve been burning the candle at both ends. Itâs about time we show you how much we value you.â
âLet me guess, it's time for me to unwrap my gifts in my room.â you teased, giggling a bit.
Terry darkly chuckled with a smirk, watching you sip from your glass. You sat in between them on the couch. Patiently waiting for what they had to say to you. âYou can say that,â
âWe have mustered up the courage to tell you that we both have feelings for you, if you don't feel the same way then we completely understand,â Kelvin confessed with gentleness in his time.
Obviously you liked both of them, could you be with them both without a scandal? You would have to quit your job or would they fire you? They wouldn't, A throuple would be the appropriate label.
You shook your head trying to brush off those thoughts away and enjoy this moment with them.
âI don't want to choose, I rather have both of you, Terry and Kelvin, you've been on my mind for quite some time now, but I want to keep it on the low at work, I need my job,â you confessed.
Terry and Aaron exchanged looks before nodding, âUnderstandable but if this ever goes out then we will protect you,â he said in a reassuring tone.
âHave you been naughty or nice this year beautiful?â Terry chimed in, his eyes roaming your body.
A smile etched on your face, placing your hand on the nape of his neck, âI think I have been good this year,â
âCan I get a kiss from my girl?â
âYour girl? You mean our girl right?â
After that, Terry kissed your lips deeply, while Kelvin slid off your sweater, he began to take off his tee shirt. Unhooking your bra and throw it across the room, your breasts poked out swiftly, he kissed your cheek as you broke the kiss with Terry, causing the maleâs face to twist up.
A sinful smirk etched on Kelvinâs face, âWhat? You could get all the damn attention from our girl?â
âIs that a challenge I hear?â Terry asked him.
Terry slides off his sweater, unbuckling his belt and freed his dick with your hand grabbed it gently eliciting a grunt from him.
âWould you like a taste?â Terry coaxed darkly.
âCan I eat you out while you're sucking him off?â Kelvin asked, kissing your neck and sucking your skin to leave a hickey.
âYes, please,â You replied with a seductive tone, kissing his lips twice.
You took him eagerly in your mouth, using your hand to stroke him from what you couldn't fit in your mouth, sucking him off and Kelvin took off his clothes. Rubbing your breast and pinching your nipple, âKelâŠmhm..â you moaned again.
With your consent, Kelvin gently slid your purple panties from your ankles, grabbing underneath your knees and resting them on his shoulders. His lips kissing your clit sweetly eliciting muffled moans from you. You sent vibrations on Terryâs thick length, bopping your head while Kelvinâs fingers slid between your wet folds. âSo fucking wet, this shit is turning you on?â he asked.
âSuck that shit baby, you're doing so well for me,â Terry groaned, pushing his hips into the warmth of your mouth. Closing his eyes to relish in every moment.
That only made Kelvin work harder with his mouth, his tongue tracing shapes on your throbbing clit and thrusting his fingers in and out of you skillfully, your essence spurting out on his wrist and moaning onto Terryâs dick. âYou taste so fucking good,â Kelvin moaned onto your pussy.
On the verge of a climax, you and Terry felt the knot untighten, his warm jets of cum poured onto your tounge causing you to swallow every bit of him, pulling his dick out. âYou did an amazing job,â Terry praised, You moaned loudly at Kelvin still eating you out.
Your hips rolled against his mouth, your head fell back onto the armrest. Your essence poured onto Kelvinâs mouth, swallowing every drop of you. Hand resting on the nape of his neck, âJust like that, you're both are so good to me,â you babbled softly, hearing a slurping noise from him.
Kelvin moved his head away and looked up at you with a smirk, âYou deserve the better, my love,â he cooed, cupped your face and kissed you passionately yet deeply, your tongue slipped in with his. Pulling away with a soft smack.
âMy turn,â Kelvin playful sang before kissing your lips sweetly.
Kelvin lifted you effortlessly and sat comfortably on the couch, your hand resting on his shoulders with his hands gripping your hips. Sliding you onto his dick gradually and filling you completely. âDamn, I'm buying an engagement ring next time,â
Your mouth parted wide, pulling him close in a tight bear hug, you kissed him sloppily, âStrange way to propose..yess,â you cried out, his hips moved yours, creating a slapping sound similar to a gunshot.
âOh fuckkk! Kelvin!â You cried out, eyes rolling back. Hips rolling against him as your body shook with pleasure. Kelvin watched your essence pooled around his dick, he groaned out your name like a seductive song, watching you fall apart after every stroke.
He laid you down on your back and you grabbed the couch armrest for dear life, fucking you like he had something to prove, he rutted into you and Terry watched with a smirk, your reactions to Kelvinâs thrusts turned him on. âOh yes! Shit!â you cried again, nails scratched his back eliciting a hiss from him.
Terryâs lush lips took your nipple in his mouth with genuine care, your hand rested on the nape of his neck. Your hips rolled against Kelvinâs thick dick, screaming out their names to the mountains.âT-TerryâŠKelvin..baby, you make me feel so gooddddd,â you babbled, tears falling down your cheeks.
Terryâs finger rubbed your clit in circles, and you whimpered his name again. âDamn, youâre so perfect,â Kelvin groaned, his grip tightening on your hips as he thrust into you deeper, each movement sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body.
Such possessive men they were, your attention and your love were their oxygen. Couldn't live without it.
Terry looked up from your breast, his dark eyes glinting with pride. âYouâre taking him so well, baby. Youâre such a good girl,â he praised, his voice low and sultry, sending shivers down your spine.
âY-yes, Iâm trying baby,â you stuttered out, trying to keep your composure as both men lavished you with attention.
Kelvin leaned down, his forehead resting against yours, his breath hot against your skin. âYou feel so damn good wrapped around me. I could stay here forever,â he whispered, his voice thick with lust.
âMe too,â you breathed, losing yourself in the moment as you rocked your hips against his, feeling his length hit the perfect spot inside you. âPlease donât stop.â
âNever,â he replied, picking up the pace, his thrusts becoming more frantic. You could feel the tension building within you, the knot tightening in your belly as he drove you closer and closer to the edge.
Terryâs mouth moved from your nipple to your ear and cupped your breast, his hot breath sending another wave of arousal through you. âLet go for us, baby. Weâre right here,â he murmured, his fingers still working expertly on your clit, teasing and coaxing you towards your release.
With a few more thrusts and Terryâs skilled fingers, you felt the world around you blur. You cried out as the pleasure peaked, your body trembling as you came undone. âIâm cumming!â you screamed, your nails digging into Kelvinâs shoulders as the waves of ecstasy washed over you.
âThatâs it, baby girl. Let it all out,â Kelvin urged, his own release following closely as he buried himself deep inside you, filling you with his cum completely.
Terryâs fingers continued to work on your clit, coaxing out every last bit of pleasure until you were panting, your body still quivering from the intensity of your orgasm. âTerryâŠplease, Kelvin!â you cried out.
As Kelvin collapsed beside you, still catching his breath, Terry leaned over to kiss you softly, his lips brushing against yours tenderly. âYou did so amazing, sweetheart,â he whispered, his eyes sparkling with affection.
You felt a warmth spread through your chest at his words. âI couldnât have done it without both of you,â you replied, a smile spreading across your face as you glanced between the two of them.
Kelvin chuckled, wrapping an arm around your waist, pulling you close. âWe make a pretty good team, donât we?â
âAbsolutely,â you nodded, feeling a sense of belonging and happiness you hadnât experienced before.
âNext time, we should try the hot tub outside,â Kelvin suggested, a mischievous glint in his eyes.
âOnly if you promise to keep the hot cocoa flowing,â you teased back, feeling the playful banter return.
âDeal,â Terry chimed in, his arm tightening around you, making you feel safe and cherished.
âA hot bath for our favorite girl?â Kelvin asked with a grin, picking up you in his arms, and carrying you to the bathroom. You nodded weakly.
âMake sure it's on the right temperature, nigga.â Terry shouted out, rolling his eyes. They pulled up their pants and followed behind Kelvin. Cleaning up the place immediately.
The white marble curved bath tub was filled with heat and soapy foam, you sighed in bliss. Terry passed your favorite book with a bookmark in between and kissed your forehead, âEnjoy, Empress,â he said before closing the door.
You freshened up, dried off, and applied lotion. You wore a loose t-shirt and leggings. you sauntered back into the clean living area, feeling refreshed and rejuvenated.
As you entered, you found Terry and Kelvin lounging comfortably on the couch, both looking up at you with amused expressions.
"Look who decided to grace us with her presence," Terry teased, a playful smirk on his face.
"Had to make sure I was all clean and cute for my two favorite bosses," you replied, winking at them as you sank onto the couch beside Kelvin.
"Cute is an understatement," Kelvin remarked, his gaze lingering on you with a hint of desire. "You look absolutely stunning."
"Thanks, I appreciate it,â You smiled, sitting in between them.
For the rest of the night, you cuddled close to them with warm blankets and classic Christmas movies, and hot cocoa. Treated like the queen that are you.
#black!reader#black fanfiction#aaron pierre#terry richmond#kelvin harrison jr.#rebel ridge#rebel ridge fic#kelvin harrison jr x reader#terry richmond x black reader#black writer
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one conversation part two
maybank!reader x rafe cameron
summary the aftermath of you and rafe âtalkingâ things out
warnings profanity , smut ( fingering , manhandling , squirting , daddy kink , unprotected pinv , choking , creampie ) more of rafe being an honest little baby because he misses his girl , uh oh! kie kie sees!
18+ minors dni
youâre not too sure when you and rafe managed to move to his room , but there you were back in his bed. your hair was thrown around the pillows messily as rafe kissed down your body , muttering apologies as he did so. âpromise , iâm gonna make up for everything,â he whispered , planting a kiss on your thigh and looking up at you like you were the moon and the stars, âi love you.â
âi love you too,â you sighed , letting your head hit the pillows again as rafe worked to pull your swimsuit bottoms off. the overalls you were wearing earlier had already been discarded on the floor. âi want you , baby,â you added quietly , softly as though anything could tear this moment away from you. a moment you had been vying for for almost a year, âits been so long.â
âtoo long,â rafe agreed , pulling his shirt off and leaning over you, ânever letting you go again. nothingâs coming between us , okay?â he dipped and kissed you deeply , holding your body tight against his. he missed the feeling of you melting into him. he missed everything about you. you were the one thing in this world that rafe could say kept him grounded.
âtell me you love me again,â you asked him , pulling back to look him in the eye. oh , those ocean blue eyes you missed so much. they were always softer with you , opening up like a vault that only you could reach. it had been so long since youâd been close enough to see them sparkle.
âi love you , y/n maybank,â rafe obliged with a soft chuckle , like it was the easiest thing youâve ever asked him to do. in all fairness it was. âyouâre my god given solace. going to marry you one day.â he threw in , grinding your hips into yours for some relief.
you moaned into his mouth , wanting nothing more than for him to just take you like he usually did , but you knew this was different. you knew that as much as you wanted it rough , rafe needed it to be soft. âi need you to stop drinking so much , baby,â you spoke gently , knowing heâd promise you anything in the moment if you said it sweet enough, âfor me?â
âiâll do whatever you want , princess. anything,â he nodded, âlet me make love to you first?â he asked , hand moving between you to run his fingers through your folds , pulling a long overdue whine to escape your lips.
as much as you wanted him to just take you and have his way with your body , you knew that rafe needed it to be soft. âyeah , honey. iâm all yours,â you sighed , feeling him push two fingers into you, âdo whatever you want to me.â
rafeâs fingers continued to move in and out of you , prepping you for his cock. you were already leaking around him , not having spent any time with yourself lately to get off â not that it would work without rafe. âoh , iâm gonna,â rafe chuckled deeply , unbuttoning his pants and shoving them down with one hand while his other kept busy, âjust want you to cum on my fingers first.â
he pushed his hand in deeper , adding another finger. âfuck , ray! want you,â you cried out , hips meeting his hand in attempt to finish sooner. you needed him , not his fingers.
âyouâve always been so impatient , baby. just let me take care of you for once.â his voice was still soft , but you could hear the irritation, âfeels like your pussy is just fine with what iâm doing right now,â he laughed , grabbing your neck and making you look at how you took his fingers , leaking and sucking him in. you cried out , watching his thumb reach for your clit and rub at it in time with his fingers fucking you. âjust cum for me and iâll give you what you want.â
your hips were moving , not being able to help all the squirming you were doing. you let you hand reach down and grab him , stroking his cock in tandem with the way he was fingering you. âmâso close , daddy!â
hearing you call him that again only made him shove his fingers into you harder , adding one more to stretch you just that much more. âoh , yeah? iâm your daddy again? huh?â he mocked you , curling his fingers and hitting that sweet spot in you just right, âcum for your daddy then. fucking cum,â he groaned , feeling your cunt tighten around his fingers while yours were busy jerking him off. your hand let go of him , gripping the sheets instead as you squirted around his fingers , high pitched whine filling the air. âaghâ just like that , fuckinâ take it,â he moaned , continuing to fuck you as you kept convulsing under him , spraying more of your release onto his legs and sheets.
âwill youââ your request was cut off by rafe shifting down the bed and licking at your glistening folds, âfuck! daddy , sâtoo much!â you reached down to push his face away , but he held you tight against his mouth , slurping up your juices until he was satisfied.
âfuck , iâm sorry,â he breathed out , coming up from between your legs , his chin dripping with you, âiâll give you what you want. you want my dick , huh?â he asked you , stroking your cheek lovingly as you nod before giving you a kiss , letting you taste yourself on his tongue, âalready got you fucked out. forgot how easy it was for me to do that to ya.â
you laughed breathlessly for a moment , pulling rafe in to kiss you again. âonly you do that,â you assured him , wrapping a leg over his hip and pushing him closer , forcing his cock against you, âmissed this so much.â
âturn over for me , baby,â rafe instructed , not even giving you the chance to listen as he manhandled you into a position of his liking, âjust like that.â
your face was in the pillows , hands in the sheets as you felt rafe guide himself to your sopping entrance. âreally tired of waiting over here,â you whined , wiggling your hips. the tip of him caught your opening , letting him slip into you with a moan.
âso impatient,â rafe repeated from earlier , pushing his hips forward until you reached back and put your hand on his hip, âno , no. you donât get to choose how you want it anymore,â he chuckled , leaning forward and covering your entire body with his. his arm came around your neck , lifting just enough to choke you as he started thrusting. âfucking missed this pussy so much , baby,â he moaned into your ear.
rafe wasnât stopping any time soon , that much you knew. there had been so much time that had passed since the last time you guys were together ; more than there had been before. you used to know what to expect when it came to a fuck it out session. it was never after such a long time before. the only thing you knew in the moment was you felt good.
âfeel so good , daddy,â you whined , pressing a kiss to his cheek as he grunted in your ear , telling you all of the nasty shit he missed doing to you.
you were still on the brink of euphoria when rafe had started his own journey. âfuck , mânot gonna last long,â he moaned , hips already jerking in less fluid motions, âgonna let me cum in this pussy , baby? huh?â
there werenât even thoughts in your head anymore. just pure bliss ; physically , emotionally , spiritually. your head nodded before you had the chance to think it through. you werenât on birth control anymore , and it was stupid , but your body was on a different wavelength.
with another , much louder and prolonged , moan , rafe finished inside of you , continuing to fuck his cum into you. âwant that shit to stick,â he grunted , kissing the side of your face as he stilled in you.
the sun was starting to set , and you were still at rafeâs , lying in his bed after a shared shower. âwhy did you bring her around then?â you wondered aloud , laying on rafeâs chest. it had been picking at you since the enduro ; how loudly rafe was with sofia , how he didnât hide her from his world.
rafe looked at you , reading your face to see if this was going to be a fight. âare you actually asking me?â he questioned , not being able to decipher your motives, âbecause iââ
âyes , iâm truly asking why,â you assured him, ânot trying to fight. i just wanna know things.â
âwe met for the second time at a party,â rafe started , drawing on your skin with his finger lazily, âi was already around everyone when they saw us go and hookup , so it wasnât a surprise. i mean â itâs not like they like her , but they tolerate it , i guess.â he shrugged like this wasnât a huge thing.
âwhy didnât you do that with me then?â your voice was barely a whisper , not even sure if he heard you entirely.
rafe took a deep breath , looking at the ceiling for a moment before meeting your gaze again. âi thinkâ well , i liked you being just mine , but we didnât tell anyone because we both agreed that it was smarter that way. she isnât as â i donât know,â he gave up toward the end , not knowing how to word what he wants to say , with a huff.
âthey donât like her?â you checked , not wanting to love the fact that another girl was hated , but it did make you feel better knowing she didnât get that much special treatment.
ânot at all,â rafe chuckled, âruthie â oh , my god , ruthie is a fucking bitch. all of the time. kelce is kelce. the other girls are just as monstrous. youâre actually lucky i love you enough to not bring you around them.â it was a sweet sentiment , and it was true. you wouldâve hated having to hangout with rafeâs kooky friends all the time.
so , you just nodded and closed your eyes , letting your body melt into rafeâs. âi love you too,â you happily sighed, âbut i gotta go. i donât know if kieâ i just gotta go. can you give me a ride?â the sky had become significantly darker since the last time you looked out the window , and you became painfully aware you still had no idea where your brother was.
âyeah , letâs get you dressed and gone,â rafe agreed , rolling out of bed and picking a shirt out of the closet for you.
the drive was quiet ; you and rafe listening to your music he oh so missed as you held hands the entire time. when he came to pull up to the house , you noticed your truck back in its spot. you let kie borrow it to go looking for jj , and she was already home. a good thing because that means she found your brother , but a very bad thing because she would easily be able to see rafeâs truck if she just looked out a window.
âdonât turn the truck off,â you instructed , not wanting kie to hear the roar of his engine when rafe started it back up to leave, âkieâs home , so umââ
âiâll see you soon,â rafe spoke for you , a soft smile on his lips, âi love you,â he added , leaning over and pressing a kiss on your temple.
âiâll text you?â you offered , not wanting to leave just yet. you missed this bubble you and rafe lived in. he nodded , assuring you that would be just fine but also understanding that was your way of telling him not to text you first. anyone could see his name pop up on your phone. better safe than sorry.
you got out of the truck , heading to the porch to walk inside before you stopped and turned when you realized what you forgot. rafe rolled his window down , seeing you rush back to him. âi love you too,â you smiled , leaning in the window to kiss him goodbye.
with that , you were confident you could go to sleep with peace tonight. your strides were full of childlike giddiness , like this was the first time you had hung out with your crush. you were happy again , and it was already so easyâ
âhow come i just saw you and rafe kiss?â
kiaraâs voice startled you , causing you to jump and grab the closest thing to you in defense. âjesus , kie! yâknow thereâs a guy after all of us right now. itâd be nice if youâd announce your presence more obviously,â you gasped , putting down the skateboard you picked up.
âitâd be nice if youâd start talking,â she hummed , giving you one of her fake smiles sheâd only reserved for kooks up until now, âhate for this to be some misunderstandingâ
taglist @maybankslover @annatartastic @maroonz @ravenmedows @yootvi @icaqttt @inlovewithmorales
#twin maybank!reader#maybank!reader#pogue!reader#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#rafe outer banks#rafe cameron imagine#outerbanks rafe#rafe cameron smut#rafe x you#rafe fanfiction#rafe smut#rafe x reader#rafe imagine#rafe fic#rafe obx
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number one girl
"I'd give it all up if you told me that I'll be, the number one girl in your eyes"
âË âżïž”âżïž”âżïž”àšà§ · · ⥠· · àšà§âżïž”âżïž”âżïž” Ëâ
[WORK IN PROGRESS!]
PAIRING. sunghoon x fem reader (best friends-to-lovers! au)
WARNINGS. profanity, (will be updated once complete)
WORD COUNT. (will be updated once complete)
SUMMARY. you always admired your best friend sunghoon. but when did that admiration turn into something...more?
DISC. this story is entirely fiction & does not reflect any real events of the idols mentioned.
AUTHOR'S NOTE. omfg this was so cheesy
pls give me feedback, i'd love to improve my writing so any and all critique is welcomed <3
you can still remember the first day you met sunghoon.
it was the first week of the semester at university and in physics class you were partnered up with jake, the handsome austrailian student (much to the other girls' dismay). although you of course could admit jake was very charming and handsome, you saw him as a lot more than that. he was smart and always patient to give you some extra tutoring when you didn't quite understand what was taught in lecture, genuinely kind, and it was so entertaining to see him never pass up a chance to show you a new picture of his dog layla.
jake invited you to his birthday party at an arcade that also had things like escape rooms and an ice skating rink. you've never met any of jake's friends before so you really didn't know what to expect but after some drinks and games in the arcade, it wasn't too hard to ease your initial nerves around the group of strangers.
"you HAVE to see sunghoon ice skate, i swear he's more coordinated on ice than walking on the ground..." wonyoung says to you as the group walks to the ice skating rink. she was one of the girls there that you got along with really well and she was super friendly right off the bat.
"really? huh... sorry i'm really bad with names, who's sunghoon again?" you nervously laugh to her.
she points to the dark haired boy laughing with heeseung as you all get in line to get you ice skates.
"he used to compete in international ice skating competitions...almost working towards olympic level. but he decided to drop competing to focus on his studies. don't let him try to convince you he just 'skates for fun'... you'll see what i mean," she had a lingering fondness in her eyes.
you couldn't help but to wonder what wonyoung meant but you got your skates and laced them on the benches lining the rink of ice.
"before we all get in the rink, i think it's only fair sunghoon gives a little show before we all totally eat shit on this ice" jake announces to the group, everyone laughing along with him.
your gaze falls on sunghoon, noticing the faint blush on his cheeks with all the attention now on him. you see his faint smile and waving his hands, declining jake.
"oh cmon sunghoon! please! some people here haven't seen you on the ice and you've been telling me you've been dying to skate again..." sunghoon finally gave in.
"fine fine, only because it's your birthday," sunghoon jokingly rolled his eyes. everyone cheered as you all gathered along the wall of the rink. the minute sunghoon started gliding along the ice, it was like a switch flipped. you felt like the person you were watching wasn't that shy boy you briefly met a few hours ago. his aura radiated a confidence but also a sense of comfort. you could feel his emotion with every turn and twirl. you could see his visible passion and love of skating. he was smiling so wide, his fangs poked out and you couldn't help but to smile as well. it was the kind of smile you wanted to stare at forever.
he was freestyling to whatever music that was playing over the speakers of the skating rink but you could tell he didn't need choreography to shine brighter than any of the white fluorescent lights in the building. you understood what wonyoung meant, he truly looked more comfortable on ice than on the groundâand you grew more and more curious about sunghoon.
when he concluded his impromptu performance, you all applauded and jake along with the other boys entered the rink cheering sunghoon on, hugging him and ruffling his hair. you entered the rink, you heart hammering out of your chest in nervousness and anxiousness. you've never ice skated before and you already knew you would make a total fool of yourself in front of everyone.
"wonyoung, i've never ice skated before...can i hang on to you?" she chuckled at your nervousness, finding you adorable.
"of course, here hang on to my arm until you get the hang of it. we can stay near the wall" the few circles you did around the rink was less you hanging on to wonyoung and more you having a death grip on the ledge of the wallâstopping every 2 feet feeling beyond imbalanced. you let go of wonyoung making a full stop.
"i'm gonna rest for a little bit, you can go hang out with the others" you stated trying to cover your labored breath.
"are you sure?" she questioned. "yeah! go for it! i'm just gonna take a breather, i'll join you in a sec" you reassured her. she gave you her signature sweet smile and skated towards the rest of the group.
after a few moments of watching the rest of the group from afar, you attempted to skate towards the center of the ice to join the rest of the group. without knowing still how to maintain your balance and the wall no longer within arms reach, you knees completely buckle under your weight. you were pretty much bracing for impact to have your hands and knees to collide with the harsh coldness of ice at your feet. before you could even fully comprehend it, you felt a pair of arms catching you, slightly easing your fall.
"woah that was a close one. are you okay?" it was sunghoon. his face was close to yours, close enough for gaze to fall on the concerned look in his dark orbs and the mole on his cheek and nose.
"y-yeah i'm fine! t-thanks for saving me, i totally ate shit." you joked, a cold sweat running down your spine in utter embarrassment.
"no worries, thankfully i got to you in time. and don't even worry about it, being on ice takes a ton of practice." his arm still holding onto yours helping you get up. he guides you both back to the wall.
"you're really good at ice skating by the way, like crazy good" he let out a soft chuckle at your compliment blushing. you knew he probably heard that a million times before.
"thank you, it's y/n right?" you nod.
"can i ask why you quit? wonyoung told me about how you used to compete but left to focus on school," the echos of the group's chatter and laugher being background noise to your conversation.
"yeah that's the main reason. i guess that's the simple explanation i give people..." his voice trailing, as if there's more to the story. you raise your eyebrows at him, hinting at him to keep explaining.
âit got pretty lonely in all honesty. competing i mean. i made friends through skating and stuff but when i trained and performed in a competitionâŠi was alone through it all. it made me start to dislike the sport all togetherâŠâ he sighed. ââŠand that was really hard for me. and i decided to step down from competing and just skate as a hobby now.â
he saw your solemn expression and reassured you the best way he could. âbut itâs good now. truly. i think skating in a setting like this, with friends and just having fun healed my relationship with it.â you both looked out to the group, laughing in unison seeing ni-ki chase jake excitedly.
âbasically the best way i can describe it being on the ice now feels like reuniting with an old friendâŠâ sunghoon expresses, putting his hands in his jacket pockets.
âwow, i had no idea. thank you for telling me. for what itâs worth, i think youâre really brave.â you caught him tilting his head with a questioning look.
âwell, i mean it takes a lot of courage to give up sometimes. especially something you put so much time and energy intoâŠi feel like so many people think it's automatically a waste or a shame to give something up. but sometimes its just a redirection and sometimes its for the better.â
ây-yeah, exactlyâŠâ sunghoon looked at you stunned. youâre the first person to openly and fully understand his story and he didnât even need to explain it to you his reasoning.
âi think youâre the first person who actually understands.â
you hummed in delight, smiling at him. âlooks like weâll get along pretty wellâ
âyeah i guess soâ he smiles back.
you could feel the sincerity and warmth in his smile. it was different than the ones he gave you earlier. it was a smile you wanted to see again and again.
since that day at jakeâs birthday, you and sunghoon have been inseparable. he was your best friend and you trusted him more than anyone else in the world.
he was reliable, he understood you in every way, and he accepted you even at your lowestânot judging you about your past.
you and sunghoon slept over at each otherâs apartments all the time, even having each otherâs a spare key.
sunghoon crashed at your place that previous night, you two pulling an all-nighter studying and your apartment being closer to campus than his. you two would sleep in each otherâs bed but always staying on each otherâs sideâsimply sleeping side by side, most of the time with your backs facing one another.
he had class earlier than youâhis dreaded phone alarm going off, both of you stirring awake.
you pulled the covers over your head, groaning at the awful triggering sound of the alarm as sunghoon shut it off. he laughed quietly at your misery.
âhoon, why the fuck did you sign up for an 8am calculus class. who even voluntarily does thatâŠâ
"guess i'm a masochist," he sarcastically states, stretching and letting out a yawn. he reaches over your half-awake body, still covered by the blanket still to grab his glasses off your nightstand.
he basically puts all his body weight on top of you, borderline crushing you in the process dramatically reaching towards the table, a mischievous smirk on his face fully aware of his actions.
"hoon! ughhhh you're so annoying, you're crushing me" your voice muffled under the sheet. he laughs, amused by teasing you especially early in the morning when you're the grumpiest.
"sorry my bad" laughter still littering his voice. when you finally feel his weight off your body, you pull down the sheet from over your head.
you didn't realize sunghoon was still hovering over you, his arms on either side of your upper body. his gaze held something different in it, something you've never seen in his eyes before.
was there something in the air? were you starting to fall ill?
you and sunghoon joked around all the time and were in close proximity of each other all the time. maybe seeing each other at embarrassing moments one too many times, but this felt different.
the blue tint of the morning light peeking through your curtains illuminated his figure above you. the white tank top he always wore to sleep emphasized the contours of his defined arms, the thin silver chain adorning his collarbones reflected specs of light. and his messy hair and glasses wasn't helping your suddenly and unconsciously racing heart.
he was close. like really close. maybe too close for two people that were just friends. the air around you two felt thick and it was like you were holding your breath, maybe you were.
sunghoon slowly raised his hand, using his finger to brush a stray hair away from your face. and you swear his gaze wandered from your wide eyes to your lips. his touch lingered down to trace your jaw slightly.
he suddenly pulls away from your body, rising from the bed. he grabs his hoodie draped over your desk chair pulling it over his head and walking towards the bathroomâas if nothing had happened.
â should i continue writing?
taglist (open!):Â
@laylasbunbunny @blackberryrains @luv-jungwon106 @woniebae
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thank you so much for reading, please let me know what you think <3
reblogs, likes, comments & shares are always appreciated!!
#sunghoon x reader#sunghoon fanfic#enhypen fic#enha imagines#enha x reader#enhypen sunghoon#enhypen#enhypen ff#park sunghoon#enha#park sunghoon x reader
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Sun and Water - Kaz Brekker
Couple: Kaz Brekker/ Fem!Reader
Warnings: A LOT OF ANGUISH. Lots of mention of post-traumatic disorder. Curse words. Mention of death. Blood. Slave market. Mention of murder. VERY EMOTIONAL. VERY SWEET.
Word count: 4k
A/N: This one was very emotional for me. I cried writing with my playlist on full blast. I hope you love it as much as I do.
đ English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.
Requests are open. Love you â€ïž
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Ketterdam smelled of trickery, poison, desecration and danger. It was a dark place by birth that housed even darker people. Its soil was stained with blood and despair; of both Grisha and ordinary people. Their hiding places were for tormented souls who had long lost their humanity.
If you walked the wrong streets at night with an arrogant attitude, you would definitely not return alive. But if you turned south, and had a little money in your pocket, your feet would take you close to the huge, shiny, flashy casinos run by Pekka Rollins. You would pass clubs where the smell of beer mixed with cheating, and the laughter of drunks drowned out the screams of convicts across the boat harbor. The colors of these establishments ranged between red, orange and yellow, a vibrant explosion that, in such a funereal place, became infinitely more macabre.
If you were more adventurous, and had a little more money, you would pass by pleasure houses. With pink and purple facades, provocative titles and women perched in the windows, waving at any gentleman who smelled a fair amount of kruger, their chants insinuating and seductive. The silk pieces of these places waved like a Land in Sight flag for the lost and tormented men in that sea of stone that was called Ketterdam.
To less experienced - and novice - eyes, those places were just grotesque pieces that were part of a strange scenario. Just a bad city, without many mysteries or secrets. But Kaz Brekker, whose mother's name was Ketterdam, knew that these establishments were more profane than they first appear. Its sins were part of a long list of money laundering, human and arms trafficking, drug exports, a meeting point for commissioned murders and, deep in the corrupt heart of that city, the headquarters of the black market. He knew that Ketterdam was not just a land of trickery, poison, desecration and danger. It was the place where anyone could have absolutely everything for the right price.
And that's how he found you.
Kaz didn't like to remember that day. But it was engraved on his skin like a tattoo, like a hot iron. A damned, cursed reminder that despite his Herculean efforts to be the monster everyone whispered about, Kaz was still a man of flesh and warm blood. With a heart that writhed.
Something about that day in the past wasn't right. It was like a mysterious whisper in the breeze, an omen in the unknown eyes of the wanderers, a mistake in a painting that made his nerves itch. And Kaz Brekker always hated mysteries that he didn't know how to solve.
His cane banging against the thick, crooked stone floor in that even darker part of Ketterdam, the hem of his black coat swinging from side to side in the cold wind. He had 2,000 kruger in his pocket - the Crow Club's only money to pay employees, bribes, drinks and bills. He used and abused Ketterdam to offer everything at the right price, and now he was going to pay his debts to men who provided information, to locals who spiked the beer with water and sold it for a cheaper price, and to women who seduced targets and facilitated robberies. It was the only money he had.
He didn't have to look to the left, there was nothing for him there. He didn't have to wonder why people seemed to crowd closer to the curve of the last street. But, in a way that Brekker could never explain even in confidential whispers to his own soul, he turned that corner.
With his cane tapping on the ground, money in his pocket and responsibilities to fulfill, he approached, against all odds. Step by step, the air grew thicker, the invisible ropes tightened unjustifiably on the pulse of his neck, the ghostly sensation of the icy water approaching like the waves of the dark sea.
Those sensations were getting more confusing with each pump of blood. The physical consequences of his soul being shipwrecked at sea never came lightly, and this was a warning. A warning that Kaz Brekker should have turned around and walked away. While he still could.
The men around were euphoric. The women looked sadistic. And the racket of voices was too loud for him to be able to focus on a single line of conversation. The hands of men and women were raised and clutched money notes tightly, waving in the wind as if it were a flag, their sadistic, depravity-hungry eyes staring forward like predators in hunting season.
Perhaps in a parallel reality, Kaz would have followed every sign Ketterdam gave him to turn his back and leave. There's nothing for you here, Dirty Hands. Ketterdam needed demons and monsters to stay stand, it fed on trauma and anger to perpetuate the âeverything for the right priceâ market. People's chaos and hell were what maintained the local economy. Any possibility of redemption, peace and, worst of all, love, were severely condemned.
Go away, Bastard of the Barrel. Maybe Kaz would have exerted the steely control over his veins more tightly, maybe he would have listened to the city's singing and paid more attention to the sea that swelled its tide, and then there would have been a life in which he wouldn't have widened his eyes at the scene.. Go away.
The sea roared, the waves broke, the putrefying hands of the bodies drowned in the depths of the ocean grabbed his ankles with more ferocity, preventing, restricting, screaming that his place would forever be there with them in the dirt of the sea. But it was already too late. He looked at the reason for all the commotion. The sun fell on that girl's hair and it was as if the rays had also penetrated the deepest waters of that vast oceanic darkness, exorcising all the claws that retreated with infernal screams, letting go of his ankles as if they were burning.
It was like a ship's anchor being pulled up with extreme brutality, splashing water everywhere, pushing the dying pieces into the depths of hell, scaring birds in the air, and finally, finally, bringing his soul out into the warm air.
Kaz Brekker felt his entire body shake as if he had just died and been reincarnated, it was like an explosion in the darkest depths of his chest that made his blood warm again, his heart show that it was beating and his soul breathe.
The scene in front of him shouldn't have caused any commotion in his spirit. Ketterdam was not a good place, and it was home to even less good people. That open-air slave market was nothing new. It was repulsive, disgusting and disgusting, but not new. And it wasn't something Kaz got involved in. Everyone had problems with him, and he didn't play anyone's hero. Never.
Until now.
One of the girls was sitting on that improvised wooden stage, eyes extremely scared and that damn sun shining on her hair that shone like the heat of release that made him breathe for the first time. She was young, small as a rabbit, and her fur didn't belong on those rusty chains on her wrist. You.
That was all an lapse. A powerful lapse not only in his judgment, but in his long-tormented soul. He blinded himself for the first time since Pekka.
The deprivation of air, the burning of the claws sunk to the bottom of the cruel ocean, the ice that shook his bones and the smell of dead flesh swollen with rotten water had finally given him a respite.
A truce so portentous and so overwhelming that, for two blissful, desperate seconds, Kaz fucking Bekker felt fucking normal. He was breathing, for the love of the Saints. He felt the heat of the sun, his muscles were light, his heart was swollen and the corners of the world were as colorful as when he was 8 years old.
He felt Kaz Rietveld.
All because that girl was in his sight. As if her sight was a miracle to his torment. As if she were a curse to Ketterdam. No good feelings have a place here.
But it was already too late. That lapse made Kaz approach as if he no longer controlled his feet. It made his heart beat with blood that wasn't his. It made him take out the only money in his pocket and hold it up high as the biggest proposal. None of that insanity was coming from Brekker. But from Rietveld.
âHer.ââ he said in a voice he didnât recognize as his own.
Yes, Kaz didn't like to remember that day. Because it was confirmation that the boy he had tried so hard to keep dead and drowned in the sea was as alive as tangil. And that beating heart was his. Fucking hell. That lapse cost a lot; all the money the Crow Club made in that month. Kaz Brekker had countless dangerous people to pay and he had no idea what would do. But what irritated and infuriated Kaz the most was that, when he looked into the eyes of that girl as fragile as a rabbit, he didn't regret it.
Not at all. Not a bit. Even when he had every reason in the world to regret it.
He didn't regret taking you out of those horrible rags you wore and buying you a dress. He didn't regret bringing you to his quarters even when still had no fucking idea what he would do to you now.
What use would such a small, fragile and beautiful girl would have? You looked like a little rabbit. He made a fucking mistake, because now this little rabbit was looking at him with those big eyes full of emotions: fear, innocence, curiosity. Brekker hated it. But his soul was smiling.
''Don't worry. I wonât touch youââ Kaz said that day. His words dripped with venom, disgust, and self-loathing. He constantly thought that his condition was a sarcastic and cruel joke from the Saints that Inej prayed so much to; doomed to never stand a touch, to always be a broken and pathetic bastard to the point of mortal weakness. This always aroused anger, hatred, and a thirst for revenge against Pekka.
But looking into your big eyesâŠhe felt as if something very valuable had been brutally ripped from him long before Kaz understood what he wanted.
Inej was wrong. The Saints were not merciful. They were as fucking sadistic as the demons of Ketterdam.
--------
The days passed, and Kaz still had no idea what to do with you. Or how to pay his debt to so many people or how to replenish Crow Club drinks. He hid you from the rest of the dregs because he didn't want to and didn't know how to explain the situation. What would he say? Kaz Brekker never did anything without a plan. Everyone knew that. And your presence refuted ALL the certainties and theories that Kaz always had a motive.
Until one day, what he knew would happen happened; fate than those who do not pay powerful people. If he didn't have money, then he had to pay in blood. As it always would be in Ketterdam.
--------
The moon was paler than usual that autumn, sending icy golden rays across the dark city. The breeze smelled of sea air, smoke, sand and blood.
Kaz sat down in his writing chair, gasping as the thud made his broken ribs hurt. His teeth clenched tightly and dropped the broken cane to the floor, his blood on the silver raven combined with the dried blood around his face.
âOh My Godââ the voice that Rietveldâs soul loved so much sounded, terrified and in panic.
You.
Kaz closed his eyes tightly, cursing under his breath that you had chosen to come in at that exact moment. It had been 2 weeks since you were here, with him, but your presence still made his hate the reactions and sensations he had.
Brekker couldn't have feelings. Ketterdam didn't accept that, it didn't tolerate that. And the proof of this was the bloody state he was in. Sentimentality is a weakness. He repeated to himself. But why then did his soul not regret anything when he saw you? Damn, he'd probably do it all over again.
âGet out of hereââ his voice was hoarser and lower than usual. And, when you did the opposite and took a step forward, Kaz looked at you warningly ââNowââ Brekker could handle a beating, he'd had it his whole life. He could deal with broken ribs, with a bloody face, with a broken cane, with wounded pride. But he can't deal with the feeling that, when you looked at him, what hurt and tortured him more than anything else was the fact that he was robbed of your touch. He couldn't touch. And it never sparked anything but a fire of rage and revenge. Until now.
Kaz Brekker couldn't feel you. Not even if he fell to his knees on the floor and prayed to all the Saints. Not even if he sobbed asking for just one day of mercy. Just one day. Just a memory of how your skin felt beneath his hands. It had been more than a century since Brekker had touched another skin, warm skin. His was always cold, cadaverous, wet even when it was completely dry. And that was never a reason for despair. Until now.
He wanted to touch you more than he wanted to breathe. He wanted to slide his fingers across your cheek more than he wanted to slide his hands across money notes. But the sensation would send him back to the waters of Ketterdam. Back to the sickening feeling of rotten flesh and death surrounding him, making his chest tighten and his vision blacken as that traumatic memory would drag him back into.
The Saints were a fucking sadist. âPleaseâŠââ your voice was broken and completely tearful. PleaseâŠ
That single word - that single word alone had the power to bring his gaze up to you. Your pleading voice, your eyes filled with pain, not for your own, but for his, the way you whispered as if you was about to crumble. You looked more scared than the day he took you from the slave market. Kaz fought down the tightening of his chest, his throat closing in. Please. Oh. He wanted to throw caution in the wind. Just once. Only for you. He wanted to put his gloves aside, just once. Just to hold your face. The desire to beg the Saints on one knee came back with more force. ''No" Kaz looked at you, staring into your eyes, as he saw you step closer. He watched the silk green dress flow, the fabric he bought for you, and for some reason it made him ache more. Damn dress.
He kept his eyes locked on that green silk for longer than expected. His body was completely bruised, but his thoughts were just feeling envious of that dress. That dress was on your skin. Feeling something he could never feel. Lucky dress.
Kaz heard your sobs get louder. "I beg youââ You were about to fall apart âlet me helpâŠââ He didn't know the extensions of his own injuries, but the look in your eyes said they were serious. Perhaps there was more blood than he expected.
Yes. his soul, Rietveld, screamed. Screaming so loud his bones shook. Yes. Touch me, make the cold go away again. Take me out of this ocean one more time. Help me. Touch me! Make the hands of the corpses leave my neck. Touch me. Saints, this is the most unbearable thing in the world. Kaz had no idea how long it had been since he had heard a person sob for him, but your voice broke something in him like nothing else. Kaz could get stabbed and beaten and shot, but thisâthis was the one thing he couldn't bear. "No'' Yes!
But you seemed in tune with his soul. As it has always been since he first saw you. You seemed to see beyond Brekker facade. Your footsteps reached him like desperate birds, your beautiful eyes growing wider every moment you saw the details of his injuries.
He didn't move from the chair, even when he should have, even when you fell to your knees between his feet, looking at him with so much fear and panic that he felt his heart skip a beat. Damn organ.
Yes. You looked beyond Brekker, You looked at Rietveld. And no one ever looked at Rietveld. âI promise to be quick. Just let me clean up the blood. Let me sterilize the knife cuts.ââ Your voice had so much pain that Kaz thought you were the one who suffered the beating. Which was impossible. Because Kaz Brekker would never let anyone touch you. but he can't touch you either. Yes, his fucking fate.
He wondered if you were so shaken because of guilt. Did you know that the 12 men he owed money got together to beat him? Did you know that he just hadn't paid because he used all the money to buy you? That's why you were so sentimental? Because the guilt. Out of pity. But it was impossible, Kaz never said anything about it. Maybe he was just looking for reasons to justify the magnitude of your concern with something other than feelings of the heart. âPlease⊠I can't- I can't see you like this.â Your voice took him out of his thoughts, realizing that no matter how much he screamed inside, his expression remained as hard as a stone.
âIâm scared that something irreversible could happen.ââ you were honest, exposing your heart because you knew he wouldnât expose his âPlease, the thought of you dying makes me scared.ââ Yes, you were scaredâŠlike a cute rabbit. His body was hurting too much to know which stab wound was deeper, which were more superficial and which caused you so much panic.
Kaz swallowed around the lump in his throat, his heart beating wildly in his chest, but for a reason completely different from the wounds and bruising that plagued his body. Kaz wanted to put his guard up and push you away, but the sight of you kneeling before him, your eyes pleading for his consent as you raised your palm up to his battered and bloodied skin, that pleading tone - And that dress. The fucking dress he bought for you - was making him lose.
Kaz looked down at your face. His heart was burning. What am I doing? Your eyes, gazing up at him with tears rolling down your cheeks, you were breaking because of him, for him. And saints â he couldn'tâŠNot when you looked that way. Not when every fiber of his being wanted you. Touch me. Make me come out of the sea. Make me breathe again Kaz closed his eyes, his breath sharp as he braced himself. A moment of hesitation before he finally speaks. "Quick."
It was another lapsus. The biggest mistake he could make. Ketterdam was again screaming in the background in the form of furious winds; that city did not allow pure emotions, redemptions and love.
You were so quick to get up and run to the bathroom, returning with a damp towel and a desperate but relieved look. Your knees dropped to the floor once again between his feet, and your breathing was faster than it had ever been before.
You were going to touch him
It was a mistake. An absurd error. A sin and a profanation of the worst kind.
The tide of the icy ocean within him changed course, beginning to churn its waters and threatening to drown Kaz Brekker once again. The sensation was as if his skin was swelling from the cold waves, like a corpse that had been discarded at sea for centuries. And that wouldn't be far from the truth. Kaz Rietveld was shipwrecked in that ocean along with Jordie. Along with all the other unfortunate people in that damned city.
So why did he also feel Rietveld now more than ever? when you were about to touch him.
Kaz's soul stirred, perhaps in desperation, perhaps begging for release. Maybe for both things. The emotions were so strong that he felt like vomiting the salty sea water stuck in his lungs. Then he focused on one point: the smooth skin of your neck.
You were so nervous and desperate that he could see your vein pulsing, a few errant droplets of sweat running from behind your ear to your slender neck, making their tempting way, mocking Kaz for not being able to follow the same path with his fingers.
Would he be able to fool his demons if he made that journey with his mouth? Could it be that his tongue also carried his traumas?
The wet towel went over one of his cuts, and Kaz swore so loudly that it scared you. His fingers locked for a second in the chair, but your fear of him changing his mind was greater than your fear of his reactions. You pressed the towel again, and again, and moved from one wound to the next. Your movements were in automatic mode to want to take advantage of his permission as much as possible, to help as much as possible in a time limit that you didn't know.
The invisible clock chimed like a premonition.
With one hand, you used your trembling fingers to move a piece of his cut shirt to the side. And your and his skins brushed
Holy Mother of Saints. Kaz grunted, letting his head fall back and pressing his fingers into the wood of the chair's arms even more. He closed his eyes tightly. The avalanche of emotions raised a tisunami in his sea and crashed over him with such brutality that Kaz felt he might die again. And revive.
Your fingers brushed against his skin once again, and this time his chest exploded on a different note; as if the heat of the sun was fighting to rescue him from the bottom of the sea. Making its way through the petrifying waters like a ray of heat. Like a chance. A hope. Or as an illusion.
Kaz Brekker never cried. He came out of that ocean swearing revenge, like a ghost, a monster, the murderer of Rietveld. Vowing to be a knight of the apocalypse. But he was none of those things. Kaz was a man of flesh and blood. With a heart that bled every day, with a soul neglected and so massacred that it bordered on unrecognizability: but not total annihilation.
Kaz Brekker never cried. But Kaz Rietveld did.
Being touched, after so many years without even human contact, made Brekker want to vomit, scream, cut his hands off, drown himself with Jordie, blow Pekker's brains out. But it made Rietveld want to cry, to cry out to the saints for salvation, to beg that he could have just one good thing in life. Please. his soul tore in prayers. PleaseâŠlet me have this momentâŠfor the love of God, have mercy on me just now. Somehow, he didn't vomit, and his skin on his became more like being caressed by the sun. He squeezed his eyes closed even more and imagined himself on the roof of the Crow Club, beneath the midday sun of the height of summer.
You were the sun. Just it.
Your hands pressed bandages into his deep cuts.
You were the sun. Just it.
Your breathing was heavy and your fingers pushed the rest of his bloody shirt away.
You were the sun. Just it.
Kaz repeated that like a mantra. A prayer. A choir. An exorcism. But his midday sun at the height of summer was beginning to be clouded, the sea on the horizon was beginning to swell, and Jordie's voice was beginning to rise from the dead in the air. The second he couldn't take it anymore, you pulled his hands away. Brekker breathed a sigh of relief. Rietveld screamed in despair.
ââYouâre going to be fineââ your voice was as shaky as his emotions.
Kaz couldn't open his eyes yet. Not now. Not at this moment and⊠the absence of touch gave way to the feeling of extremely warm lips touching one of his bandages for a second.
This removed him from his disabilities. Stunned and perplexed, Kaz opened his eyes immediately and tilted his head towards you the same second his your moved away.
If your touches had been the sun, that micro kiss had been the entire fire.
âMy mother one day said that kissing the wound makes it heal faster.â Maybe you were holding on tooth and nail to all the things that guaranteed you that Kaz Brekker would survive that moment.
Maybe a kiss heals wounds faster... indeed. Kaz Brekker thought before a curve of a smile painted his lips.
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heat
part two of "cottontail"
CW: SMUT, SMUT, SMUT, heavily suggestive, profanity, bunny mutation + spring = fun times, girl imma do my best, this took forever, might be a little long, etc.
As much as he hated to admit it, Logan was worried about you.
In his two-hundred years of living, he had never met someone as hot-headed and brash as youâand that was saying something. But as your you-appointed new best pal, he resigned himself to making sure you didn't piss off the wrong people.
Though it was a nice change of role, seeing as he wasn't the loose canon for once, he couldn't help but begin to grow significantly concerned for your safety.
It wasn't that you were a bad person, far from it, in fact.
Always greeting him with a sweet mornin', Logan!
Always checking up on him after missions.
Always inviting him to "sparring sessions", which would inevitably turn into you two striking up conversation about anything and everything under the sun.
Not to mention you were a humongous flirtâJean called it being "overly friendly".
She noted that you didn't flirt with any other guys like you did him.
You always gave him those cheeky smiles that seemed to irk him to no end, and put that flirty lilt in your voice when you spoke. Not to mention the constant compliments, which would stick with him for days, sometimes weeks.
But that all stopped about a week ago.
After a day of you acting incredibly offâno jokes, no laughter, little talkingâOroro said you suddenly came down with a "spring cold", but that you'd be up and at 'em soon.
Well, soon hadn't come yet, and Logan hadn't heard anything from you in days.
A spring cold couldn't last this long...
Was it the flu? Was it something else?
And why did everyone else seem so unbothered by it?
These thoughts swam in his head every time he passed your locked door.
Until he finally had enough.
The night everyone went out for a field trip to the county fair, Logan stayed back, opting to visit your quarters with a few choice words, and a container of chicken noodle soup.
When he reached your door, he gave it a soft rap.
Nothing happened.
He tried again.
Still nothing.
Only after a thirdâmore aggressiveâknock, did you finally answer.
"Yeah?" you called, your voice low and croaky.
He'd never heard you sound so defeated, and almost... pained.
It made something pang in his chest.
"That must be some cold," he quipped, attempting to play off the feeling with humor.
"Logan?" you asked, sounding shocked. "What are you... What do you want?"
"I just came to give you some soup. Jean told me it's good," he answered, glancing down at the bag in his hand. "S'been a while since I've heard from you."
He waited for a response, but when you never gave one, he began to feel stupid.
This was a mistake.
"Look, I can just leave it outside the door if you don't wannaâ"
"No," you interrupted, still sounding strained. "You can come in. Just leave it on my dresser."
A little confused by your tone, he entered nonetheless, boots clicking against the hardwood.
And what he found was concerning.
Your room was a messâfurniture askew, clothes and empty water bottles discarded on the floor, a rumpled mess of sheets on the bed.
The smell in the air was thick with sweat and something else. He looked toward the king-sized bed where a heap sat hunched underneath the sheets
"(y/n)?" Logan called, brows furrowed with confusion and worry as he placed the bag on the dresser.
"Don't come over here!"
You sounded so distressed, in such discomfort.
What's going on?
Why did you sound like you were in trouble?
Ignoring your warning, he slowly stalked closer to the bed, taking slow, tentative stepsânow able to hear your soft whimpers and grunts of pain.
"(y/n)?" he questioned, firmly.
You stirred, reacting to his voice, breathing raggedly as if you couldn't get any air in your lungs.
"(y/n), what the hell is going on?" he demanded. "Whatever it is, I can help."
But you turned away, the sheets shifting with you.
"You can't," you whined, "You can't."
Patience running thin, Logan stormed over and snatched the sheets off of you. And there, under the covers, he saw you with his own two eyes.
You were curled into yourself, tail significantly fluffier than he remembered, and ears droopier than he'd ever seen.
Through your thin tank top, he could see your nipples were hard and perky, the shorts you were wearing barely covering your ass cheeks.
'Goddamn...'
When you looked at him, your face flushed red, pupils dilated beyond belief as you covered your face with embarrassment.
You trembled in your skin, tail twitching with discomfort and unease.
"I told you not to come over here," you panted, curling further into yourself. "Didn't want you to see me like this..."
You winced, squeezing your thighs together tight, looking to be in complete agony.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"I'm in heat," you sighed, the cat pretty much out of the bag. "S'cause of my mutation. I can do everything a rabbit can, and go through everything a rabbit goes through. No matter how fucking stupid."
You wiped the sweat off your forehead, your curly hair soaked in it.
"S'why I've been hiding," you explained. "I've been tryna get through this, but I just... can't!"
Now he understood.
Your absence, your uneasiness, the smell of something in the air.
You were horny.
"How long's it last?" Logan curiously asked.
"Depends. Could be a week, could be a month..."
"A month?" he stated, surprised. "Are you in pain?"
Your face screwed tight, triggering something in his core.
"Yes," you groaned, hugging yourself closer.
You looked away from him, appearing so utterly humiliated and ashamed that it pained him.
He had to help.
"What can I do?" he suggested.
You turned to him, eyes widening. "What?" you asked. "What do youâ"
"I wanna help you, cottontail," he cut in, already kicking off his boots and taking off his leather jacket to reveal his sexy, white wife-beater. "So tell me what I gotta do."
You watched him, looking completely stunned and mortified, but your pussy throbbed at the sight of his outfit.
"No, no, Logan," you protested. "Y-You can't... you don't need to do this."
But he stood firm in his decision, refusing to leave you.
"I know I don't need to," he firmly responded. "I can't let you go on like this."
"It's okay..." you assured. "It'll probably be done by the end of the week. You don'tâ"
Before you could even finish, his hand grabbed your face, pulling you close and squeezing your cheeks, his tone demanding.
"Don't protest. Don't argue. Don't push me away... Just let me take care of you, alright?"
His gorgeous brown eyes, filled with the promises of safety and acceptance, bore into yours.
How could you deny him?
"Okay," you caved, leaning into his touch.
"Good girl," he cracked a smile, lips suddenly swooping yours up in a firm kiss.
You let out a soft, eager moan as he scooped you up in his arms, the man letting out a quiet chuckle when you squeaked, your feet dangling off the ground.
While still kissing you, he sat himself down on the bed and plopped you in his lap. His soft lips and tongue made you squirm in his lap, brushing yourself against his quickly hardening cock in his jeans.
"Can I touch your ears?" he whispered, breathless. "'N' your tail?"
Gently, his hand moved down to your ass, caressing your cotton tail. Your toes curled, your body tingling from the sensation.
"Y-Yes," you shakily replied. "Go ahead."
And when his fingers began to lightly brush and stroke your bunny ear from base to tip, you nearly had a full body orgasm, your pussy growing wetter with each pass.
"Fuck..." you gasped. "Yes, just like that..."
Logan smirked as he watched your face contort in pleasure, his ego growing with each whimper.
"Like that?" he asked, teasingly, his cock throbbing at the sound of your pitiful whine in response.
Over these past few months, he'd had countless dreams about having you just like this. And now that he was, he could say with certainty that it was far better than any fantasy.
Gently, one of his big hands slid down between your thighs to pet your pussy through your panties, while the other continued to stroke your ears.
Your mouth fell agape, pleasure coursing through you.
"Oh, fuck," you moaned, tilting your head back as his fingers ghosted over your clit.
You began to shamelessly grind your pussy into his fingers, turning Logan on even more.
"Needy little thing..." he chuckled, amused. "Adorable."
Under his firm gaze and insistent fingers, you nearly came apart at the seams. But before you could, he pulled away, scooping you up with one arm, much to your surprise and arousal, and sliding himself further down the bed.
With a grin, he dropped his head into the pillows, shifting and forcing you to hover over his face.
"M'gonna taste you, now," he stated, as if it was a fact.
You whined in response, moving to grab the headboard as he pulled your panties to the side, giving your pussy a quick peck before completely dropping you on top of him.
"Logan!" you half-moaned, half-screamed, eyes blown wide with pleasure.
You tried to brace yourself, but it wasn't long before he made you a writhing, whimpering, whining mess.
"Ah, Lo, yes!" you cried. "Oh, fuck! Right fuckin' there! Right fuckin' there!"
You were loud and vocal, much to his enjoyment.
He was having the time of his life, massaging your ass and sucking your wet pussy, your juices dripping down his chin.
He even groaned and grunted into your pussy about how good you tasted, only making you wetter at seeing such a stoic man lose his shit over you.
"You want a finger, baby?" he growled, voice slightly muffled. "Talk to me. Tell me what chu want."
"Please," you whimpered. "Fuck me, Logan! Make me come!"
Logan smiled, slowly inserting one of his thick fingers into your hole while his lips gently sucked on your clit.
You nearly screamed, bawling at the pleasure.
"Oh, my God!" you sobbed. "Shit, Logan, I'm gonna... I'm gonna.."
Your orgasm slammed into you without a second thought, drawing a string of slutty moans out as you came all over Logan's tongue.
"That's my good girl," he smirked into your pussy. "So fuckin' good f'me."
Your orgasm was so strong that you began to tremble, the aftershocks taking over your body.
The release helped with the pain... but it still wasn't enough.
You needed more.
Suddenly, he took hold of your chin, staring into your eyes as if he could peer right into your head.
"Do you want more?" he asked, cockily.
Slowly, you nodded, tears pricking your eyes at how much to needed this.
"Yes, Logan," you pleaded, your arousal making you bold and unashamed in your need to be fucked. "Please give it to me. I don't care how you take me. Just please..."
That was all he needed to hear.
He gave you exactly what you wanted and more. The man fucked you, and he fucked you good. He gave your little body everything it needed to knock out those horny thoughts and relieve you of your heat.
In almost every position, too.
He fucked you in missionary while standing up, his hips pistoning into yours while your feet dangled in the air, his hands pinning your thighs apart and making you take each deep, long, slow stroke that had you seeing stars and frantically rubbing your clit watching his handsome face contort in pleasure.Â
He fucked you while standing up, your little body bouncing in his arms as you fucked you up and down on his cock, your arms wrapped tight around his neck, your tits pressed flush against his pecs, and your lips locked with his in a passionate, sloppy, wet kiss.Â
He fucked you on your side, his big body curled around yours and his cock nestled between your ass cheeks before sliding inside you again, your leg hiked up to get deeper.Â
He fucked you on all fours, using your ears to pull you back on his cock, your back arched and ass stinging from random spanks while he pounded into the deep, wet heat of your pussy that squeezed and griped him for dear life. When you tried to rub your clit, he smacked it away and rubbed your pussy for you.
âUh-uh,â he growled. âNo touching whatâs mine. All you need to do is cum. Can my little bunny do that?âÂ
You didn't even answerâyou couldn't. But your loud moans and sobs bouncing off of your walls are all the answers Logan needs as he fucked you faster, harder, making your clit sing and pleasure zip through you.
When you felt your last orgasm of the night zip through you, you let out a broken whimper and came all over Logan's cock.Â
Triggered by your orgasm and sweet little sounds, Logan gripped you tighter and pounded into you without mercy, until he finally released, too.
âOh, fuck!â he gasped, his loud groans and grunts echoing throughout the room, triggering another mini-orgasm that made your pussy quiver and drip down your thighs.Â
Logan came deep inside of you, filling you to the brim. He even had enough to give you on your ass, pulling out to spray your perfect cheeks with more of his seed, pumping his cock furiously behind you.
A smile stretched across your face as the aftershocks began, practically melting into the sheets.Â
You were sweaty, winded, soaked, tired, and covered in cum...but youâd never been more satisfied or happier in your life.
Logan finally settled down beside you, turning you over to face him. He gave you a small smile, his face hot with stray hairs sticking to his forehead.Â
âBetter now?â he murmured, gently stroking down your back.
You wordlessly nodded, a small, tired hum leaving your lips.Â
âGood,â he nodded, pressing a kiss into your hair. âGet some rest.â
And just like that, you were out like a light, softly snoring into his chest, your body curled into his side.
You couldn't wait for next spring...
#james howlett#james howlett x reader#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#mcu#mcu x reader#wolverine x reader#x men#x men x reader#wolverine
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Theodore nott or Mattheo riddle x Gryffindor fem! Reader fluff and maybe soft smut and sheâs reading in his lap while heâs leaning against the bedpost reading with her holding the book and Turing the pages while she keeps reading it and itâs super smutty and she just traces his arm veins while they read (and if you decide to make it smutty pls make the reader LOVE LOVE LOVE his hands, abs, arm viens-) can it be a longer fic?
I love ur work so so so much!!
the tension - m.s (18+)
pairings: mattheo riddle x gryffindor reader
summary: i know it's wrong, but it feels so right.
warning(s): hand kink, hickeys, kissing, dry humping
(this fic is giving slow down by chase atlantic)
not proofread
the smoke of mattheo's cigarette making the air thick and hazy, me sat in his lap reading my book.
we have a little challenge going on at the moment, which was his stupid idea
basically we see who can last the longest without kissing, sex, touching.
it's one hell of a teasing game
i let out a shakey breath as i turn the page of my book, mattheos hands on my thighs.
his thumb starts making circular motions, moving closer to my inner thigh.
my breath hitches and i can almost feel the smirk on his face
"mattheo.." i say shakily
"what is it princess?" he asks
i sigh, trying to shift my attention back onto the book, but getting distracted by his fingers, the veins on his arms, everything about him.
"see something you like?" he says and i grab his hand, staring in amusment.
i trail my fingers over the veins, going all the way up to his upper arm
"oh so thats what you're into?" he says, throwing the book somewhere across the room.
he flips me over, hovering over me, my hands pinned.
"the bet" i remind him, which was a mistake
his hands start trailing all over my body, making me feel overheated
"mm, i'm sorry princess but i'm not one to loose a bet i made, so either give in or we might just have to continue reading" he says and i groan
"oh thats right, gryffindors are supposed to have determination right? thats a shame on your part" he says, getting off of me making me scoff
"mattheo that is not fair!" i whine and he looks at me in confusion
"it's the deal we made" he responds and i roll my eyes
i try to ignore that feeling in my stomach, but i can't i need his hands, all over me.
i need to feel him.
i hesitatingly get up and throw a leg across mattheo's lap, straddling him
his hands grab my waist and my desire fills more and more with lust
"fuck the bet mattheo, i loose okay? i loose-" before even finishing my sentence, he grabs the back of my hair, pulling me in to kiss him
the desire that was originally on my lips now soothing, letting myself go on autopilot as he takes over.
he flips me over again, him now being on top of me
he starts trailing kisses down my neck as i let out heavy breaths
i've been without him for so long, the feeling of him on top of me enough to leave me sated.
he takes his shirt off as well as mine and he grabs my hips, sitting me on top of his lap, this time facing him
his hands glued on my waist as he starts kissing my neck again, causing me to jut my hips forward.
all of a sudden, i start grinding on him, his hands guiding me through it.
"fuck dont stop" he hisses in pleasure
i feel that knot in my stomach forming quicker than expected, tolerance to pleasure not as high as it used to be because of the bet
i throw my head back, trying to keep quiet
"let me hear you" he says and i let out a whine, our thrusts in rhythm now, hitting my heat perfectly.
"i-i-" i try to speak but fail, the pleasure being overwhelming
"cum for me baby" he whispers in my ear
feeling every part of my body tense up, speeding up to meet an unforgiving pace.
his hands gripping harder on my waist send me and him over the edge, letting go completely.
he groans, cursing out profanities and i let out a long whine
i rest my head on his chest, letting out shakey breaths
"good girl" he says, stroking my hair.
i don't know how i lasted through that bet, i'm never gonna be able to go a day without mattheo again.
TAG LIST:
@stargirlv0id
#mattheo riddle x reader#mattheo riddle#mattheo riddle fluff#mattheo riddle smut#mattheo riddle imagine#smut#mattheo x y/n#slytherin boys#slytherin#gryffindor#hand kink#madispeaks!
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hiiii!! i was wondering if perchance i could request head canons or a one shot (whichever you see more fit) of how [character] is on their first date with [reader]
the characters im rlly invested in are alastor, vox, velvette, angel & husk đ
đđąđ«đŹđ đđđđđŹ đ°đąđđĄ đŻđšđ±, đđ§đ đđ„ đđźđŹđ, đŻđđ„đŻđđđđ, đĄđźđŹđ€, đđ§đ đđ„đđŹđđšđ« àłàŸàż ËË-
a/n: iâm so sorry requests have been so slow, my show is almost done (closing night is today) so iâll be able to get to requests after that!! and i tried to make this a bit longer than my normal pieces so i hope i did okay? weâre almost at 700 btw so tysm for that <3
warnings: profanity, mentions of sex in voxâs part (no smut), mentions of valentino, implied!masc reader in angelâs section â the rest are gn
proofread: no đ
tags: x reader, alastor, husk hazbin hotel, angel dust, headcanons, the vees
đŻđšđ±
vox would probably enjoy a night in the most, honestly, fans can irk him a fair bit, and he wants tonight to be about you and him alone
heâd probably get some of his more decent employees to be like waiters, and letâs be real, even if you were only in voxâs quarters, you both would still be dolled up
seeing as this is only the first date, voxâs âshow hostâ persona is still very present, heâs not ready to let his walls down quite yet, heâll sit there and boast about how fucking amazing he is for most of the date
but youâd be surprised, when you speak, vox wonât shut down anything youâd say, heâs an extremely good listener â it mainly comes from how he has to listen to boring meetings, even when he doesnât want to, but as much as he wonât admit it, he could listen to you talk anyday
when the end of the date comes, youâre either gonna end up spending the night at his, whether it ends in sex with him or falling asleep on the couch together in the middle of a movie is a bit of a 50/50
OR heâs gonna end up driving you home, mainly because he doesnât enjoy just walking about the streets of hell, because so many people come up to him, and also cause he doesnât want to risk putting you in harms way, but also because he wants to flex his fancy ass carâŠ
đđ§đ đđ„ đđźđŹđ
like vox, heâd also probably enjoy a date in a more private settings â due to the type of fans he has, the contract heâs under, along with many other things
but angel has a preference for more relaxed dates, heâd bring you into his room the hotel and end up having a massive sleepover â movies, skincare, gossip seshs, etc. whatever you ask for, heâll give ya!!
after valentino, i can see angel only really taking interest in people who heâs known for a long time/has a strong bond with â so considering the fact that heâs most likely known you for a long time, this is probably when heâs gonna be more affectionate â possible cuddles, kisses, etc
but even with that, angel really considers first dates as a âget to know youâ sorta thing, so he wants to hear all about you, and share stories with you about him as well! you two will probably play games like 21 questions or truth or dare but with mostly truths đđ
honestly, angel will probably spend more time telling you about molly (his sister) then himself, he misses her a lot, and she was one of the biggest parts of him and he loves telling you stories about them together in their lifetime
đŻđđ„đŻđđđđ
in contrast to vox, she would love to go out somewhere for a first date, more specifically, the mall! she may end up treating the first date as more a girls trip, but trust me, it isnât her way of friend zoning you in the slightest!!
the stores in the mall that sheâd most likely wanna hit up are the clothing stores and makeup stores (duh)
sheâd try on a bunch of fits for you in a âfashion run-wayâ kind-of manner and force outfits into your arms and rush you to do the same
and in makeup stores, sheâd grab a bunch of lip-oil testers and ïżŒswatch them on your arm and see which ones she thinks look the best â and sheâd also try to find your foundation shade match or something like that
then you goes would probably stop at a food court and she would sit there and just yap, i can see velvette as a big rambler, she can be very expressive with her words, especially when it comes to her passion topics, so she really grows to appreciate you if you decide to hear her out
and side note; if you guys run into one of her fans, sheâll make sure you see it, she needs you to know how fucking hot and famous she is
the both of you will probably stay until the mall is about to close, and then youâll walk her home, but donât worry, sheâll give you a small kiss for being so good ~
đĄđźđŹđ€
honestly, husk would kinda be at loss a for what to do for a âdateâ â itâs been a long damn time since heâs been romantically interested in someone, so heâs not too sure where to start
heâll end up going to charlie for help, or angel, and he ends up deciding to take you out to a small diner thatâs just a stroll away from the hotel
itâs not great there by any means, but itâs not bad, but more importantly, itâs safe, and thatâs all he really wants for you
you two will spend most of the time conversing in conversation, nothing too crazy or life changing, but simple ice breakers here and there, husker is more awkward than you may think
despite the fact that he thinks itâs so fucking stupid, he takes charlieâs idea to share a smoothie with you, which ends up back-firing as he takes a sip and it goes through and up your straw and splatters onto your face
and you canât help but blush as he gets a little too close to you as he wipes the smoothie off of your face with a few napkinsâŠ
đđ„đđŹđđšđ«
alastor is a gentlemen, who aims to please, so he has a number of activities for you that are bound to blow you out of the water, even if the idea is simple on paper
first, he starts off by taking you out to dinner, the fanciest restaurant he could find, you both are dressed up to a tee
he makes sure to feed you every last bite of your food, treating you like a pet, its so sickeningly sweet you didnât whether to be slightly offended or swoon right then and there
then he takes you out to a nice park, even if itâs already dark out, and heâll have you on his arm and take a simple stroll with you, the attention is fully on you and he wonât shy away from giving you all the praise possible
shortly after, alastor will get his staff and play some gentle jazz music as you both sway under the hellish stars on what seems to be such a blissful night ~
i do not permit for my work to be reposted, translated, or stolen. all rights go to signedmio. characters are not mine, unless stated, and belong to their rightful creators.
#mioâs writing ! â#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel x y/n#hazbin hotel x you#vox x y/n#vox x you#vox x reader#vox hazbin#vox hazbin hotel#hazbin vox#hazbin hotel vox#velvette hazbin#hazbin hotel velvette#hazbin velvette#velvette x reader#angel dust x y/n#angel dust x you#angel dust hazbin hotel#angel dust x reader#husk x reader#hazbin husk#hazbin hotel husk#husk hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#alastor hazbin#alastor x reader#alastor hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor hazbin x reader
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playing doctor!
PAIRING: Dean Winchester x reader
SUMMARY: After Dean gets hurts on a hunt, you offer to help.
A/N: this is based off a bot I made recently except it was with my spn oc, at first I was debating if I make the pairing oc x reader but then I thought that I should js make it dean x reader ! :)
WORD COUNT: 586 (why are all my works so short LMFAOOO)
WARNINGS: uhh cursing, most likely bad descriptions of medical items and their uses (yes that needs to be a warning bc I have no idea how patching someone up worksđđ)
After almost getting killed by a banshee on a hunt, Dean had acquired some wounds that he insisted on doing himself.
And after hearing him grunt in pain and mutter a profanity under his breath for the umpteenth time, you got up from the shitty motel couch and walked over.
Sitting down, you have quickly snatched whatever supplies he was using.
⊠which was alcohol, gauze, and some bandages.
âHey- I can do this shit by myself,â Dean complained as soon as you stole his self-assigned job from him.
âWith your slow progress and profanity, Iâd beg to differ.â You quipped, to which Dean rolled his eyes and grumbled another complaint under his breath.
You took the time to carefully examine the wound, your fingertips grazing the taut muscles near the wound, luckily it wouldnât need stitches, not that you had supplies for that.
You grabbed the alcohol and tried your best to gently pour it over the wound, which didnât really work since Dean groaned.
âDamn, be more careful over there!â He hissed through his teeth, shooting a glare your way. He knuckled the bed sheets beneath him to try and keep himself from making too much noise.
You sighed and pulled the bottle away, turning to grab some gauze. Just as you were about to press it on Deanâs abdomen, you paused.
âThisâll probably hurt. Just a fair warning..â You murmured, not wanting Dean to push you away and claim you were âbeing too roughâ and go back to painfully doing it himself.
The only reply that came from Dean was a grunt, most likely preparing himself for the stinging sensation he was about to feel.
You shifted the gauze in your grip and firmly pressed it against the wound, Dean inhaled sharply and a low âfuckâ came from his lips.
You muttered an apology under your breath at hearing the curse word.
Once that was securely on there, you grabbed the bandages with one hand, your other still pressed against the gauze pad for safe measure.
you brought the bandages to your other hand, your index and middle finger reaching out and pulling it apart so you could start wrapping it around the wound.
Dean didnât make much noise while you worked on covering up his abdomen with the bandage, mainly because the worst and most painful part was over.
âFinally,â Dean practically sighed, falling back against the bed with a soft thump once you cut away the bandage.
You laughed quietly, getting up from the bed and putting the gauze and bandages in the duffle bags that were by the small circle table by the door.
The only thing you didnât put away was the alcohol, knowing Dean would definitely want to drink a bit either later tonight or sometime in the morning before you two left.
Sneaking a glance back in his direction, Dean was just staring up at the ceiling, eyes closed.
He looked so.. relaxed, which was a surprise considering the life you guys led. Hunters didnât really get much time to relax in between hunts.
But when you guys did have time to relax, you made sure to take it for granted when the change arose, you made sure to take it.
âââââââââââââââââââââââââ
pls reblog if you enjoyed đđ
#supernatural#jensen ackles#dean winchester#dean winchester x reader#supernatural x reader#supernatural fanfiction#spn#dean winchester x you#pls reblog
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FAIR AND SQUARE âș lhs
SYNOPSIS âș one thing about lifeâ it's unpredictable. for example, you made a note to yourself about not associating too much with heeseung for your own peace of mind, letting him stay as the academic rival slash classmate that he is, instead of allowing him to be something more, except one thing leads to another and you find yourself face to face with the said man with your feelings all over the place. a lowkey confession leading to a mere competition, let the game begin.
WORD COUNT âș 20.2k
GENRE âș academic rivals / friends to lovers, mutual pinning because they're just competitive and oblivious ft in denial, fem reader, quite the 'he fell first but she fell harder' thing eye guess . . .
WARNINGS âș mentions drinking, sheds light on family issues ( mostly on the reader's side ) bruise and injury, slightest of angst, arguments, suggestive ( fourth section, towards the end ) profanities, let me know if you spot more
PLAYLIST âș tune in for a better experience
NOTE âș i love this fic with all my heart and lungs, even more. anyway, i'm sorry to academic rivals fans, this doesn't have academic blood and gore, as quoted by my dear mai. SPEAKING OF MAI EVERYONE THANK @maiverie FOR BETAREADING THIS FIC!!!!!! im not lying when i say i wouldn't have finished writing this yesterday if it wasn't for her, like thank u for ur super helpful review that got my brain juices flowing :< luv u fr. ALSO both heeseung and reader are taking post grad course so of course, they're aged up ( no ages specified ) have fun reading.
I. BANE OF EXISTENCE
one thing about lifeâ itâs unpredictable.Â
for example, youâre in the library writing and reading papers on the topic you love, the one that youâre supposed to enjoy and the one that will become the reason behind your earnings in the near future, but here you are, sitting with a headache and a cup of coffee on the side. who knew the subject you've liked since grade one will betray you and become the potential bane of your existence? not you, surely enough. wednesday noons are for basketball matches, which explains why the library and hallways are quieter and emptier than usual. even the teachers make time for the tournaments off their busy schedules, itâs understandableâ your university is known for having one of the best sports teams in the league, and the basketball team being the defending champions does nothing but fuel the pride of students and staffs as if theyâre the ones on the court, trying to get the ball in the basket.
you wouldnât say you donât like being a part of the crowd because youâve been to the badminton tournaments and know that watching matches is as interesting as playing, if not more. you just donât have the time to attend any. with assignments piling up and exams âround the corner, youâd rather spend your last two months of the semester studying instead of yelling at the bleachers. you can always get the recordings if you ever feel like watching one, as for the results, the word goes around faster in your department than anywhere else, all because of one of the students being on the team.Â
you try focusing, you really do, but your cup is just as empty as your brain and your phone is going up with notifications. you donât see the point of miyeon spamming the gc with updates on the match when everyone in the group, except you, is with her, watching and cheering alongside. muting is a choice which you choose not to do, and the reason is between you and god, to be honest. long story short, itâs the lack of motivation clogging your thought process and the realisation that your friends are out there enjoying themselves unlike you is blocking any means of logical thinking. a day or two spent not studying wouldnât make you fail the classes, and even if the guilt is pooling inside, you pack your stuff and walk out of the library, making your way to the indoor basketball court.Â
the screams grow louder as you approach, each step reminding you that you still can go back as you choose to ignore it. exams can wait, you tell yourself, a day to myself canât. your mother would tell you to take breaks and go out instead of studying all day, but being on top is an addiction. itâs no good, you wish other students would believe you, itâs a struggle, on the top, at the bottom, everywhere. you expect to turn a few heads as soon as you walk inside, which doesnât happen, but you expected it. you donât watch matches, this could easily be your third or fourth one, and the first basketball match, to be more specific. once you realise that everyone is busy watching the plays instead of noticing who comes and goes from the court, you make your way up to the one friend you manage to spot amidst the crowdâ sung hanbin. indoor bleachers feel more compact than the outdoor ones. you've been to the football match last semester, courtesy of miyeon, and everything being outdoors really helps with the crowd and noise.Â
âdidnât expect to see you here,â hanbin stands next to you, offering you a sip or two from his drink, which you politely refuse, eyes fixed on the court as if it was the home theyâve been searching for. âi thought you hate heeseung,â it isnât until he takes his name that your gaze averts to heeseung. you donât even know why hanbin would outright assume youâre here for heeseung. in fact, that manâs name didnât even cross your mind until he was mentioned.
âhate is a big word, âbin,â your words are more of a whisper laced with hesitation, as if you arenât sure of what youâre saying. hate, actually, is a very big and heavy word. despite its constant usage with your friends, you realise the weight it holds and the impact it has. hate and dislikeâ theyâre different and yet similar enough to be used synonymously at times. not by you, of course, you have a clear distinction between the two, and as of now, you donât know if what you feel for heeseung is a mere dislike or pure hatred. âi just donât like him,âÂ
when he successfully shoots a three-pointer, you come to the decision that you definitely donât hate him. heeseung is, more or less, the typical all-rounder straight-A student, the jack of all trades and fortunately enough, the master of all as well. he's the student teachers use as an example, the son parents wish for, the boyfriend people wished they had. lee heeseung is many things, and one of those is being the reason why you have the second highest score in your department instead of the first position, unlike how it used to be two semesters ago.Â
heeseung transferred departments about thirty weeks ago, from chemistry to bioinformatics. it had been surprising on your side because not many opted for bioinformatics until they were certain of their goal. the course in itself is vast, like an ocean of several different fields and each and every one of them opens a door to a different outcome. bioinformatics isnât something students picked overnight just because it had the vacancy and they didnât like their initially chosen courses. as fun as the subject sounds, it demands consistency and time, something that heeseung lacks. you had seen him attend classes the first few weeks regularly, and then the ghost of him started sitting on the empty seat that belongs to him. skipping classes, arriving late, delayed submission of a couple of projectsâ you knew he wasnât here to stay. it was to pass time, or whatever, you couldnât care, didnât care, not until he started acing the tests, practically dethroning you from your infamous âperfect all killâ title that you had for getting nothing less than a perfect score, most of the time, give and take a few here and there.Â
you still get good scores, amazing even, full score in theory and the same in practicals. itâs going well in lab manuals and project works but heeseung seems to get a perfect score in those too, something you started missing ever since he came into the picture. perhaps, it was something in the way he phrased his essaysâ you hoped it was. rumour has it that heeseung used to be a literature student, which could explain his outstanding english skills and his eloquent way of speaking. you even looked up his debate videos on youtube only to find more evidence on how skilled he is in public speaking.Â
but above all, heeseung is, actually, just a really damn annoying student, quite literally the bane of your existence. heâs always set on stealing peopleâs spotlight during lessons, with you being the people, obviously, always answering questions with information thatâs unrelated and probably even unnecessary. and for the shortest time, you even considered taking him off your âthings i hateâ list because you were no different in highschool. when youâre the top student, it becomes a habit to talk about things as if you know them in your bones and impress teachers. hell, you even had rivals in highschool, although none of them got on your nerves the way heeseung does. basically, he has no reason to call you by weird names everytime you both pass each other in the hallways, or remind you that heâs the top student. âthis is the vice-captain of the basketball team and the best student of the biotechnology department, lee heeseung, informing you on the upââ seriously, no one wants to hear him introduce himself like that when youâre around. youâre pretty sure itâs engraved inside your brain with the amount of times he repeats it everyday. minjeong even says that heeseung is becoming more and more like sunghoon, and you would not know how or why because you didnât attend highschool with sunghoon, unlike her.Â
the court flares up with cheers when heeseung goes for a dunk which ultimately leads to their team winning the match, and you reach the conclusion that maybe you donât hate heeseung but actually want to bang his head against the walls. your eyes follow him around the court, analysing his conduct during the match, the way he communicates so effortlessly with teammates using hand signs or quick phrases, the way he holds the team together when the ball is with him, despite not being the captain. heeseung might be the most unbearable person youâve met so far, heâs actually just fine when his target is not you. youâre sure any other player is doing just as good but nothing comes close to how you see heeseung. itâs different, the light he is in, itâs unique, incredible, and inexplicably addictive. heeseung juggles between classes and basketball, you remember sunghoon talking about his part-time job when you passed by their lockers the other day. he doesnât have it easy, you donât either, but you had those all perfect kills by spending hours in your study while heeseung does better than you while winning matches, making money.Â
it doesnât take you long to realise that what you have for him could be dislike with a hint of jealousy, and you wonder if all the people would react the same way once they know who heeseung really isâ a devil behind an angelic face, one who deliberately likes ruining things for you, as if his life depends on it. you still remember the day he personally texted you the wrong syllabus for a test, claiming that it had been updated and the professor had asked him to notify everyone. âand as you know, i have not been added in the group chat yet so iâm texting everyone personally,â he had lied ever so smoothly as if his words consist of nothing but truth, as if lies are something he hasnât even heard of. kudos to you for studying the original and correct syllabi beforehand, you still aced the test, if heeseung scoring the first rank is overlooked.Â
youâre dragged back from your thoughts to the reality when a boy bumps into you while hurrying down to the players, hoping to get noticed. half of the students act like the team is actually a boy-band, you can see them on the front page of every single edition of university magazine. usually, you prefer waiting for the crowd to disperse before taking your leave from wherever you are, but a sudden reminder about the tests over text from your professor gives you a reason to leave early, all to make sure you could catch up to heeseung. you rush your way out of the bleachers once the teams start leaving the court, eyes fixed on heeseung to take a note of the direction he leaves. hanbin gives you a confused look before the words find their way out of his mouth. âwhere are you going?âÂ
âbasketball shower room,â and your words could give him, and the other people who mightâve heard you, a wrong idea but you couldnât care less. the goal was to see heeseung before he leaves the campus, which was highly likely because no one has it in them to attend four hours of classes after an exhausting match, not even heeseung, no matter how amazing he is.Â
you make your way through the ocean of people, bumping into a few in the process as you make your way to the club room. a silent profanity leaves your mouth once you realise that the club room entrance might be filled with fangirls and boys, left and right, and the thought of shuffling your way out of the crowd to meet heeseung makes you reconsider your actions. heeseung might be a star student but isnât amazing enough for you to step out of your comfort zone and do things to see him.Â
âwell, this is surprising,â your voice manages to turn his head towards the door. âthought youâd be busy with your fangirls, lee,â and it is surprising indeed because the hallways are unexpectedly empty with only a few people around. you would say they learnt to give the players their space after a game but that would be a lie considering the embarrassing history of students when it comes to people on the sports team.Â
âtheyâre probably busy with jake,â heeseung responds with a smile, and even though he turns to his locker just as quickly, you could see the smile dancing on the corner of his lips.Â
jake is rather a new player, a junior to be specific, and jay personally spent days waiting outside the physics department to get the guy on the basketball team. explains why heâs popular amidst students, heâs talented, good at studiesâ seriously, you wouldnât understand how these people manage academics with sports. you couldnât, and even if you managed to, you would end up passing out every few days. âdoes it suck to lose your fan-following to a newbie?âÂ
ânot really. i still have you here,â heeseung wouldnât call it âlosingâ his fan-following because heâs using jake as bait to escape the crowd of students as quickly as possible. a junior has to make sacrifices, in this case itâs to save heeseung by sacrificing himself to the public. although, saying that he still has you looking for him even though a hundred others arenât makes him feel better about himself. âno but seriously, what did you come here for?âÂ
âoh, itâs for the test on friday,â you pull out your phone, opening the group chat with the professor and the students who took the same course. itâs laughable how the universe put you in the exact same situation twice, although with the tables turned this time, and it takes everything in you to not tell him a made-up, wrong syllabi, and do what is rational. âthe syllabi was extended up to chapter fourteen, till page three-ninety-seven. they sent it in the group chat this morning but iâm sure you hardly have time even to think about something else except basketball,âÂ
youâve known heeseung for two semesters but thatâs for the people to say. the truth is, you donât know him outside what he shows to everyone else. you see him come and go, spot him around the bar with his friends on weekends you pass by it. you know he skips classes and asks students for notes. itâs not necessarily from you, though youâd prefer if he would ask you since youâre the best student in the whole department, after him, as much as you hate to admit it. on some days, you see him in the library, earphones plugged in. if you manage to sneak a glance or two, youâd catch him watching the match recordings and taking notes, you wouldnât know what notes someone could take from matches. in short, you donât know heeseung more than how everyone knows him. coming to the shower rooms and notifying him about the test might just be a discreet attempt at striking up more conversations with him, but also, youâre just fine with him being the academic rival slash classmate that he is.Â
âyeah, semi-finals,â heeseung shuts his locker close, a sigh falling off his lips just like the water drops falling on his shoulder from the tips of his hair, after a shower. âdoesnât help that theyâre at the same time as the quarterly assessments. thank you for telling me even though it means youâll end up losing the first position to me once again,â and of course, the heeseung you know wouldnât waste an opportunity to strike up a competition. it would be a lie if you claim to hate it because despite the sour look on your face, a part of you loves these little academic races with him. heeseung makes you strive to do better, heâs like the driving force you lacked which made college a whole lot better. after all, whereâs the fun in getting a perfect score with the bare minimum effort, without some challenges knocking at your door?Â
âwhat can i do, iâm all about fair play,â thereâs a subtle shade behind your words, reckoning to the multiple incidents of him ruining things for you. this could take a really nasty turn if you were to resort to his ways, except you wonât because youâre better than him. âgood luck, and weâll see who loses the first position to whom,âÂ
heeseung wipes his hair before switching to texting on his phone, the smile still adorning his face like a jewel. you assume itâs the delight from winning a match, itâs obvious. his eyes couldnât help but sparkle at every little achievement, always looking forward to something more, something challenging, thatâs lee heeseung for youâ someone who knows he has an easier way around things but would deliberately walk down another path and test his limits. shocking how it took you one basketball match to see the passion he has for things heâs interested in, that heâs more than a sport jock or a straight nerd, heâs more than someone who takes courses to pass time, more than someone who is just a show-off.
âheeseung,â the dislike, the hatred, the envy, it might all be a lie. âwell played today,â because in the end, thereâs a minimal possibility that youâre leaving the room with nothing but the slightest of admiration for the guy who is nothing but an obstacle between you and that first position in upcoming finals in two months.Â
and it would be a lie too to claim that your words didnât catch heeseung by surprise.
II. RIVALRY, FEELINGS, ETCETERA.Â
it has been a little over one day since heeseungâs conversation with you outside the shower rooms, twenty-seven hours to be exact. twenty-seven hours of him hearing the same last words over and over again, twenty-seven hours of him failing all and any attempts at straight thinking and twenty-seven hours of him not thinking about anything except you. all of it ends up in three hours of practice and not one good shot from heeseung. the sighs and snickers from teammates fill the court every few secondsâ truthfully, they never leave. heeseung is simply too lost to pay attention to them.Â
âheeseung, you good?â a pat on shoulder from jake and the words following soon after manage to pull him out of his spiral of thought, even if itâs for a brief second.Â
âheâs not, wonât be anytime soon,â sunghoon replies as if the answer was on the tip of his tongue, waiting to be revealed. âyn came to watch the last match, after all,â thereâs a smirk on sunghoonâs face, heeseung can tell it in the intonation of his words.Â
jay pauses just seconds before going for a layup, joining the conversation. âwait, she did?âÂ
âyep, saw her standing next to that hanbin guy or something,âÂ
âmate, you cannot be acting like this over a girl and that too, four days before finals,â this conversation, as a whole, is beyond jakeâs comprehension. a part of the reason could be because he joined the team late, thus missing out on a huge chunk of internal jokes and gossip and goes amidst the players. and no amount of reasons can convince him into thinking that itâs fine to act out-of-character before important matches just because your crush showed up at one of your matches.Â
âsheâs not just some random girl. she never attends matches, but she came to watch my match,â heeseung clarifies as if the reasons behind his antics are valid and acceptable. âyou wouldnât know how i feel right now,âÂ
âyouâre on cloud nine, we know, your crush gave you the attention youâve been lacking but trust me, she would ignore you just as efficiently if she sees you perform like this,âÂ
âsheâs not a crush,â and despite it being a well known fact amongst the basketball team that heeseung has a thing or two for you, he always refuses to accept it. one can say itâs the pride thing. you barely even talk to him unless itâs about studies, and your conversations are mostly along the lines of who outdoes whom in tests and assessments. moreover, everyone knows heeseung is the reason why youâre the second best student in the departmentâ as much as you hate to admit it, againâ because he transferred and flipped your world, probably even dribbled around with it like a basketball. a word goes around every few days about you glaring at him in class, which is not true, youâre instead focusing your eyes on something in an attempt to think. he just happens to sit right in front of you and be the object of focus. heeseung might as well believe that you hate him, even though yesterdayâs conversation was far from how people talk when they hate each other, and his assumptions could account for the constant words of denial that fall off his lips.Â
jay snickers before landing a hook successfully. âyeah, and iâm a pigeon,âÂ
âoh, shut it, jay,â heeseung turns to look at the other boy. âsheâs just someone i admire. have you read her essays? her papers? god, weâre a year away from graduation but sheâs already writing mind-blowing papers, one of them was even published in the monthly issue of some magazine. sheâs already on her best performance and still tries to do better, always down to guide juniors with lab work and also is on the research team for the paediatrics department at asan medical centre. all this, and she studies all day. if i were her, iâd pass out. i canât go a day without entering the court,âÂ
âand he says he doesnât have a crush oh her,â sunghoon rolls his eyes, itâs like if he heard another line of excuses from heeseung, he could see the back of his skull and have a look at hs big, fat brain.Â
âbecause i donât? you guys never had someone you admired so much that they practically became your role model despite being in the same year?â unlike other things that heeseung does, calling you his role model has a reason. first, it can give him a reason to talk to you. heeseung is almost convinced that you hate him, and if this persists, it would get harder and harder for him to approach you, but with the lieâ half lieâ of you being his role model and so wonderful that he couldnât help but admire you from afar while trying to overcome his social anxiety gives him a reason to talk to you. plus, it sounds plausible, he doesnât understand why his brother says itâs bound to fail.Â
the second reason and more to do with his friend group. no one in his friend circle is capable of keeping a secretâ jay ends up spilling tea unconsciously, jake tells one person who he trust and that person turns out to be the most untrustworthy person ever, beomgyu, well heâs on the team but telling him would be like standing on a stage and announcing to the whole campus, and sunghoon, heâs the mother, he cannot digest food without disclosing secrets. even if itâs common knowledge that heeseung has a tiny crush on you, denying it in front of the whole campus everytime one of them brings it up helps him with his reputation and fortunately, ends up keeping it a secret. besides, heâd rather have people tease him for calling you his role model than having a crush on you.Â
âi surely donât have someone i admire to the point i read all their papers and know each and everything theyâve volunteered for,â jay argues back, set on proving his point. âtell me what am i gonna do knowing that sheâs on the paediatrics research team?âÂ
âi think this is the most iâve known about yn ever since classes started and that too, because of heeseung,â beomgyu chuckles, earning a side eye from heeseung in the process.Â
âenough, letâs get back to practice,â heeseung intervenes in an attempt to change the topic. he does not want his closest friends making fun of him for liking someoneâ itâs supposed to be human nature to have a crush.Â
âyou get back to practice because youâre the only one fucking up because of your silly little crush. iâm done, jay, call me when weâre having a practice match because i need to attend theology or my professor would write me up,â taehyun passes the ball to sunghoon, the latter yelping in surprise at the sudden yet successful catch.Â
âi donât have a crushââ
âof course, letâs get you back to practice,â jake cuts heeseung off mid sentence, moving back to take his position as sunghoon passes the ball to heeseung, who, as expected, misses the catch due to lack of concentration.
itâs going to be a long day for the team.Â
.Â
.Â
.
âa little birdie told me you went to see heeseung in the shower rooms?â are the words you hear as soon as your classes are dismissed, miyeon walking up to you and hanbin discussing the set of questions your professor distributed just a few minutes ago.Â
âi didnât go into the shower rooms, i was outside, near the lockers,â and thereâs a difference. to be in the shower room implies you were there in the shower, which definitely gives rise to several wrong ideas of different levels. specifically, you didnât even enter the locker room. you were outside, leaning against the door, watching heeseung as he walked freshly out of the shower, a towel around his neck, you both strike up a small talk. yeah, that was the scene, not with you in the shower and whatever miyeonâs imagination leads to after that.Â
âso you did go!â she claps her hands together as if itâs a celebratory occasion, turning her head to look at the boy next to you. âwhat were you saying about yn not having a crush, habin?â
âitâs not a crush, miyeon,â and itâs trueâ heeseung is not a crush. heâs a classmate, a rival, an over-qualified and impossibly competitive student, someone you would want to take your time to study. âwhat, i canât even go to tell a classmate about the updated syllabus for a test now? i wouldâve done that for anyone, not just heeseung,âÂ
hanbin sighs, packing his bag. âsure, but heâs in the groupchat. he couldâve checked it himself,âÂ
âum, i doubt that,â youâre preparing a powerpoint in your head, multiple slides on why you needed to do what you did. âheâs busy with basketball and i know how he gets when the matches are around the corner. donât you remember how he skipped two weeks of classes straight because of matches last semester? and itâs the finals this time, i donât think he even opens texts about anything thatâs not basketball. i mean, he responded to my messages six days later because he was busy with practice,âÂ
you say it like youâve known heeseung for a decade and have been through the ups and downs with him. you wouldnât care about who does what in the classes, if itâs a paper plane flying right over you, landing just second to the first row of seats or if itâs someone being brave enough and playing music during lectures. biology, in your opinion, is a subject for those who are serious about doing something unique while staying in the academic field. you donât encounter troublemakers often, once a blue moon if the heavens make a mistake. on other days, itâs quieter than a library, emptier than cemeteries at night.Â
to think your life as a biotechnology major got interesting after heeseung switched majors is astonishing and equally debatable.Â
âi donât see why i should remember all that about âjust a classmateâ but thanks for telling,â and before you know it, hanbin and miyeon are out of the class, on their way to wherever their next stop is. seriously, theyâre having it easier than you. they go to games, movies, drink on weekendsâ something you havenât had a taste on ever since the year started. somewhere, you could be blamed for your hectic schedules. studies, lab work, and thesis, they suffice for all the stress a student in post graduation studies can handle. volunteering and writing papers is on you, things wouldnât have been arduous if you had decided to move slowly, one step at a time. sometimes, the hunger for more leaves you starvingâ quite literally.Â
you spend an hour or so in the classroom along with a few other students, going through the same old routine of yoursâ watch videos, take notes, transfer them to your document in your own words and make it sound as innovative and convincing as possible. heeseung would be better at this than you. youâre exhausted to the point that accepting your defeat to him doesnât even faze you anymore. he used to be a literature student, had english as a side course as an undergrad, heâs bound to be better than making essays sound they came right out of shakespeare's drafts, phrases and metaphors that would put fitzgerald to shame.Â
you didnât care about what went down in your classes until heeseung came along. call it craziness or the weird impression you have of students in your field, heeseung is far from the typical biotechnology student aiming for a postgraduate degree. he skips classes, plays basketball as if studies are a side business, and yet still manages to ace every test like an all-rounder. he shouldnât even be in classroom, he should be in the labs, being the most important subject of studies. there are days you think of him as a social experimentâ how quickly can a robot piss off a straight-A student with its impeccable skillsâ of course, the subjects wouldnât know itâs a robot but you do, youâre almost convinced he is one. thereâs no way heâs the top student with the amount of effort he puts in. one would claim that he studies after classes, at home slash dorms, but you can bet your life he doesnât. there have been numerous instances when youâve spotted him in the background of someoneâs picture at a bar. heâs always with people, he has a humongous friend group, god knows how someone can live like that. at first, you were convinced he isnât real, as worrisome as it sounds, and if he is real then he needs to be studied.Â
which leads to what youâre doing right nowâ making your way to the basketball court. you donât know how or why youâre doing it. you started with your studies, ended up thinking about heeseung, and now youâre on your way to the basketball court. although, itâs not half a bad idea, now that you think about it once again.Â
your mind goes all the way back to when you watched him play for the first time, which was just a day ago actually. you donât know anything about basketball, you donât know much about heeseung either, but thereâs one thing youâre sure ofâ heeseung is class and heeseung on the court, theyâre different. youâve noticed the way he clicks his pen relentlessly out of nervousness when he canât solve a question, the way his back tenses up for a fraction of a second as soon as heâs asked to explain something. youâve seen the hints of fear in his eyes when he asked you for notes last semester just three days before exams, scared that he would fail. heeseung isnât sure of a lot of things and basketball isnât one of those.Â
âyouâre not practising?â you ask him when you swim out of your thoughts, watching him climb up the bleachers and sit next to you. the court seems much better when itâs empty, free from the loud cheers of spectators, but that could be just you.Â
âi was, as you see, but i saw you up here and thought it was time for a break,â you could see his teammates shake heads at him in disappointment, proceeding to continue with their practice. âwhatâs up?âÂ
you donât respond to him and instead, take your time watching the others practise their shots. you watch the way one of them, who you think is taehyun, goes for a dunk, credits to hanbin for telling you names for a few shots. next to you, heeseung shouts out a tip or two for the boy for him to have an easier and effective approach at the said move. heeseung is good at dunks, youâve heard it from students, youâve seen it in the last match as well. just one shot was enough to tell you how good he is at it, itâs like basketball flows in his veins, like he can close his eyes and still manage to get a basket.Â
your eyes ghost up the court and shift to himâ thereâs a content smile on his face, a relaxed posture as if thereâs nothing for him to worry about. he takes a sip from his energy drink, you wonder if he, or anyone from the team, even gets time to have their meals. the expression on his face, itâs something youâve never seen on him during lessons. it takes you back to the match, how he looked on court a day before, certain of every move he made, every step, every breath, without doubts, no second thoughts. youâve done enough lab projects with heeseung to know how his hands shake when heâs preparing a slide or extracting a sample from a centrifuge, afraid that one wrong move and he would mess up the efforts of everyone in the group. that hesitation is nowhere to be seen on the court, gone like it has never existed. as if lee heeseung, the star student and player, has never had an encounter with nervousness and hesitation in his life. thereâs a thin line between studies and sport for him, you finally realise it after much consideration. maybe, youâre going beyond your boundaries and making assumptions about a guy you barely know, even if you would never voice all these thoughts to him, you think you know the reason why thereâs a different him on the stage when the ball is in hands. Â
âhow did you realise that you like basketball? you know, like it enough to devote so much of your time and have it alongside studies?â because even if biotech is something heâs studying and wants to make a career in, you guess that itâs just a source of satisfaction. in your eyes, through your perception, basketball is what makes him truly happy.Â
you donât know why someone wouldnât pick satisfaction over happiness, especially when itâs coming with its hands full of opportunities to grab that bag.
âeh, i donât have a sob story about it, if that is what youâre hoping for,â he chugs down the contents of the can before crushing it to the slightest, eyes squinting at the opposite wall before they move back to meet yours. âi never had to sit and think about basketball and studies, you know, as in how am i going to manage both of them. it just happened. i started playing basketball in middle school and it has been with me ever since,âÂ
heeseungâs side of the story is simpleâ a mediocre guy who was introduced to sports by his older brother and now, itâs one of the most important things in his life. middle school heeseung preferred staying in and playing video games instead of going out. in fact, middle school heeseung resembles you in all the ways that make him different from you right now. he has been good at learning and remembering things, he takes liking to things quicker than others do. basketball was like for himâ easy, quick, fun, like a way to release all the stress after a long day at school. in heeseungâs story, there isnât a main character who helped him choose the path heâs walking right now. instead, all he had was his family who introduced him to the various aspects and opportunities, and he simply ended up joining hands with the ones he liked, deciding to not let it go before the dead end.Â
âi want to have that passion for things,â a soft laughter falls off your lips, itâs an attempt to make your sob story look less pitiful. âi used to paint and play pianoâ but painting, mostly, was really good at it. i learnt how to draw before i learnt how to tie my shoelaces. i couldnât go a day without painting, but then highschool happened, i had pressure to do well, expectations from friends and family, had a dream outside painting, and now, i havenât painted in years,âÂ
unlike heeseung, art started as more than just a side business to you. itâs not something you were introduced to in the middle of your life but rather is something you grew up with. you can blame or credit your mother for making paintings and having them in almost every corner of your house. itâs one of the reasons why at five years old you were beyond fascinated at all the patterns and colours. no one wouldâve guessed that science would manage to sweep you off your feet right from the first grade, given the way your hands danced a duet to their own melody along with a paintbrush, as if each stroke has a conscious life of its own. no one wouldâve guessed that your mother would tell you to stop painting and focus on studies, neither would they have known that she would become the reason why you no longer feel the same way about art. as stated before, life is unpredictableâ because no one wouldâve guessed that sitting here on the bleachers with heeseung and sharing a piece of your life would water the seeds of doubts in your heart, the ones that bloom at the sight of him.
he thinks your story is sadâ with all due respect, without sarcasm, of course. itâs the best he can say. âi think itâs more of a âconnectionâ thing. you think youâve lost the connection but you simply need to pickup a canvas and some colours to relink, if you get me,â because heeseung has had somewhat of a same experience, with music, and sitting front of a piano to play one of sibeliusâ symphonies after senior year highschool finals was all it took him to find his lost interest in music. even though itâs nothing more than just a hobby, even if it's just something he considers as a way to pass time, heeseung knows how it feels to let go of something that is an integral part of oneâs life.Â
âit has always been about timing, heeseung,â you shake your head, trying to prove him wrong using your own arguments. âyou think i havenât tried painting again? i still have art supplies stacked up in my cupboard. itâs all about timing. when you like something, you only get a few chances to make sure it stays with you for a lifetime. how many people do you know who have given up on their hobbies because they claim to have lost interest? the thing is, the interest is still there, itâs the inability and fear of not being able to do it again. if you timing is off, no matter how much you try, things wonât work, and what you love will end up becoming a closed chapter of your life,âÂ
a pause. he sits still, eyes admiring your face while his mind is busy replaying your words in the back of his head. heeseung wonders how valid they are when it comes to people. he likes you, despite the constant denial which is only for show, by the way. it doesnât take a scientist to read him. reading him isnât even close to rocket science, he doesnât understand how you havenât caught up even after being incredibly smart. he has seen you hang out with hanbinâ heeseung hates that guy, by the way. thereâs no solid logic, itâs just that hanbin seems to be around you all the time and heeseung thinks of him as a leech sucking blood off its host. heeseung would never admit but itâs just his jealousy playing tricks on him, and even though it doesnât look like you have any romantic feelings towards that guy, it would be fucking embarrassing for heeseung lose you to a guy who isnât even half as qualified as him. ( yes, he is judging characters based on academic qualifications, no heeseung wouldnât explain why )
âi like you,â and so, he lets his feelings win for once, deciding to let his heart take control instead, closing doors to any room for rational thinking like it never existed. âyou said it was about timing, about trying hard enough and having only a few chances, perhaps, just one bullet, and iâm shooting my shot right now. i donât want to remember you as a closed chapter of my life,âÂ
it would be such a waste of chemistry if you end up becoming just a closed chapter of his life. heeseung has done his research, more like reading tons of books and watching hundreds of movies to understand the potential that two academic rivals have. no one knows this, not even his closest friends, but heeseungâs favourite genre might simply be enemies to lovers and living that trope doesnât sound as bad when itâs with you. he has spent hours thinking about the number of productive library dates you could have, working on projects together and brainstorming about the next biggest revolution in the RDT world, changing the publicâs outlook at genetics forever. it sounds stupid and makes him sound even stupider, even as a lost cause, but heeseung doesnât care. in his mind, itâs the best date someone could have. to live and become successful together, it sounds like a perfect plan to him.  Â
truthfully, you have always been a part of heeseungâs future, near or distant. he always always pictures you in his life, standing next to him during graduation, bidding goodbyes at farewell, exchanging shy greetings at reunions ten years later while reminiscing about everything he did to irritate you, that would sound embarrassing a decade later. your presence will always be significant to him, he just hopes to remember you as something more than just a rival, just a classmate he never really got to know, just a person he spent his two years hating upon, just a crush he didnât get to confess to.Â
the catchâ heeseung has already started picturing his future and you are not even sure of your presentâ and while he is looking at you for an answer, youâre lost inside your head, looking for words to articulate.Â
heeseung is someone you planned to stay away from for the rest of your university life. him stepping into your life already costs you a lot, namely: dropping in ranks and losing your infamous title. his actions cost you the time you could use to study, which is actually upon you because you can simply ignore him instead of spending hours on thinking about his hows, whens and whats. heeseung was supposed to be the academic rival slash classmate that he is, instead of allowing him to be something more, but beyond rivalry, feelings, etcetera. you knew the way you felt about him, even though you couldnât be as certain as him, or even to claim you see him the same way he feels about you.
turns out, heeseung has always been sure of certain things in his life.Â
âheeseung, iâmââ
ânot sure? busy? stressed? i know you have a lot of things going on right now. take your time, study for the finals, finish your papers, sort out your own issues and then come back to me. iâll be waiting,â itâs like heâs not only good at studying but also at reading minds, because heeseung seems to have guessed a part of exactly what youâve been thinking. call it timing, jay calls him to get back to practice just a few seconds laterâ a perfect excuse to leave. âlooks like my break is over,âÂ
you sit speechless, watching him walk away like an opportunity that just walked out of your hand. it feels like a slight defeat, like a test you failed when you could've scored better, if not a full score. it's funny because this wasn't a competition, you weren't rejected, more like you rejected him, but it still feels like he has the upper hand. it's funny and equally annoying because heeseung is supposed to be nothing more than just a nobody, somebody you aren't even supposed to spare two thoughts on, but here you are sitting with the guy with your feelings all over the place.Â
âheeseung,â you stand up, your voice making him turn to look at you, both of you ignoring the sight of his teammates standing motionless in their positions, too stunned at your voice reverberating in the almost empty court. âletâs do this: if you manage to stand first in the finals, iâll date you,â
a lowkey confession leading to a mere competition. his lips morph into a smirk, the ones he'd pass you before tests, an open challenge offered directly to you. âand if i donât?â
and you mirror the same smirk back at him, you weren't going to back off simply because it's about the person you possibly have a crush on. âi become just a closed chapter of your life,âÂ
let the game begin.Â
III. LIAR AND THE LOVER
despite heeseungâs sudden confession, youâre doing quite well, taking it better than expected. you had your moment of confusion back when the words of proposal fell off his lipsâ anyone would. after all, itâs lee heeseung weâre talking about. you can only imagine the saddened faces of his fangirls once they hear about him confessing to you. Â
âjay told me you made a bet with heeseung?â hanbinâs question catches your attention as soon as he steps into the cafe, managing to turn a few heads towards you in the process.Â
âyou know jay?âÂ
he sits next to you, pulling out his laptop in a hurry. you can guess itâs because of his essay thatâs due before six in the evening, one he couldâve written last night instead of getting wasted at his friendâs birthday gathering. âwe share history, also, thatâs not the answer to my question,âÂ
âitâs not a bet, âbin,â your words arenât half wrong. âjust a silly game, yâknow? i didnât even expect him to agree,â frankly, even you donât know why or how you came up with such a bizarre idea in broad daylight. usually, people get bouts of excitement or embarrassment while confessing or being confessed to, but in your case, you jumped over the fence and made a proposal that you have only seen in fiction.Â
ânah, no way youâre setting up your whole love life for failure and calling it a silly game,â the disappointment is evident in hanbinâs voice as his fingers danced over his keyboard, typing with a speed that could leave the trains behind. well, people tend to get like that when you have an assignment due and the deadline is just a few hours to go. you guess that heâs too busy to even listen to your reasoning, which is appreciated considering you have no reasoning as for why you did what you did.Â
âyou made a bet with heeseung,â you turn your head around, making the boy next to you do the same in the process. itâs miyeonâ you shouldâve seen it coming, honestly. your actions have consequences, as always, and one of them is dealing with her non-stop interrogation as if youâre the prime suspect for some gruesome crime and every question answered wrong opens gates to capital punishment. sometimes, you wonder why she didnât go with studying law instead.Â
âhow do you know?â
âeveryone knows, yn. itâs all theyâve been talking about,â she sighs, sitting opposite to you while taking a look at hanbinâs laptop. âeven the football fanatics are talking about attending the game, god, hanbin we better hurry that day or weâre not getting a seat,â you shouldâve seen it coming, honestly. miyeon might not be the most social person, but she definitely is the most updated. nothing escapes her, every tiny incident reaches her ears one way or another, and if not, then she just finds out about it using her sources, given you donât know about her sources. itâs one of the reasons why youâre almost convinced that she runs a shady side business alongside her career in bioengineering.Â
you take a sharp breath, going through the bunch of papers arranged in your file. âitâs not that serious. he confessed to me and i said iâd date him if he manages to secure the first position in the finals as well,âÂ
âyou did that knowing he hasnât been studying because of games while youâre studying like your life depends on it? thereâs no way heâs going to be first, and everything aside, it was a wrong fucking move to play with his feelings,â play with his feelingsâ a pause, you donât like how it sounds. youâre not playing with his feelings, thatâs far from what youâre doing. itâs a game, a competition, new to your friends but you and heeseung have always been familiar with it. thereâs an unspoken rule to test each otherâs limits. the last time you and heeseung did something like this, it resulted with you writing âlee heeseung is smarter than ln yn,â in bold on a sheet of paper and putting it on the notice board for the whole campus to see. in your eyes, it's history repeating itself yet again. sure, there is something else at stake, but the rules are the same, and you donât know why your friends are acting like youâve done something terribly unethical.Â
âno oneâs playing with his feelings, miyeon, and i know for a fact heâs making time to study for finals,â you clarify your side, slight annoyance evident in your voice. âbesides, it doesnât matter. itâs not like this is serious, i only did this to buy time to figure out my feelings while the game gives me a reason to study and not get distracted. you know how i get when i lose focus,âÂ
that could be the reasoning behind your actions, of course. even while sitting in a cafe with your friends and having a conversation that is about to make your blood boil, youâre thinking of heeseung in the back of your head. his words play over and over again like a broken record player, the image of him on court or studying pops up in your mind every now and then. obsession is a disease and you have it bad. itâs crazy to be thinking about someone so much without being absolutely floored for them.Â
âso youâll date him despite the outcome?â hanbin drags you out of the well of your thoughts, a question that leaves miyeon flabbergasted.Â
âif i manage to figure out my feelings then of course,â a chuckle falls off your lips. âiâm telling you guys, itâs not that serious. iâm sure he knows it too,â and youâre really confident about thisâ it usually never ends on a good note.Â
âand if he doesnât? what if itâs serious for him? yn, you never know how one thing might affect someone, and feelings are not something to gamble on. you shouldâve told him you need some time to think instead of giving him a false hope or whatsoever,â itâs now that you start having second thoughts. the next two hours go by amidst silence, a few small talks blooming here and there, but dissolving just as quickly within the ticking clock of deadlines for assignments and exams.Â
it doesnât take a scientist to know when miyeon is upset, for she isnât the best at masking her emotions. through the sneaky glances at her that youâve stolen over time, you can tell sheâd rather spend the evening in silence than talk to you, which is a challenge with herself because sheâs really talkative. it takes two to sing a duet, two to play and game, two people to make a relationship work. heeseung and youâ the two of you are enough to make decisions for yourselves, decide whatâs right and wrong and, something about miyeon questioning your choices doesnât sit right with you.Â
too many cooks spoil the broth, itâs the principle of your life, the words youâve been following to this date. it was your decision to have a few friends instead of a fiftyâ quality over quantity, as one might call itâ and there has never been a moment when you regretted having a handful of people to call friends. instead of consulting too many people about your major in university, you simply went with what your parents and homeroom teacher suggested. life has been good so far. the more the better is something that isnât applicable in your case. instead of telling everyone about your dilemma regarding heeseung, you decided to keep it to yourself, eventually opening up to heeseung when the time comes. youâre doing just fine on your own, it doesnât make sense to you why a third personâs opinion is making you doubt your decision making abilities that youâve been so proud of.Â
this is not a gamble, you tell yourself, itâs a fair play. you gave him options, he made the choice, itâs consensual. you didnât force him into this game, he didnât pressure you to respond, itâs a harmless competition thatâs bound to have a positive outcome. you even spend a good fifteen minutes wondering if you should go back to heeseung and take it all back in case he finds it insensitive to put his feelings on the line. doing it in person seemed impossible so you resorted to texts, typing and deleting your message before giving up altogether. in your head, this was an okay decision. a sweet confession, a person with unsure feelings, a harmless competition.Â
you hope it doesnât backfire ten times worse.Â
.Â
.Â
.
three days later, you find yourself on the way to basketball club rooms once again. you checked the court, it was empty, and your only option was to check the club slash locker rooms if you wanted to see heeseung. okay, first things first, you donât miss himâ maybe a little, but itâs because you miss hearing his weird ass answers in class even though theyâre right. heeseung just has an unique approach to things, in other words he simply knows how to buy time and go in detail about things heâs an expert at to impress the professors. however, that doesnât seem to be the case for him because he has approached you six times in the past three days, asking if youâre free to hangout.Â
you like to think he misses you or that his requests were because he wanted to make sure you donât study and lose to him, either could be true. knowing heeseung, heâs capable of going both ways. whatever may be the reason, you turned him down all six times, and itâs not because you have something against himâ of course, you donât. thatâs common knowledge by nowâ your reason for not hanging out with him is studies, as expected of you honestly. the bet aside, you had way too many chapters to learn before exams and all heeseung ever does is take up your headspace everytime you sit down with your books spread open. avoiding him in thoughts wasnât possible so avoiding him in person was your last straw.Â
which leads to the present : you rushing to heeseung, again, not because you miss him but because you need his help, though one of the reasons could be that you feel bad for turning him down six times. you can hear muffled laughter from a distance as you approach the club rooms, a bang against one of the lockers, a loud profanity that follows afterwards. their humour is beyond your level of understanding.Â
âheeseâ oh, umââ you greet and turn away just as quickly when you realise that one of them is shirtless. itâs obviously heeseung, you canât mistake his face for someone else. and youâre guessing heâs the last one to come out of shower because everyone else is dressed, maybe heâs someone who likes to take his time showeringâ you seriously need to stop thinking before your imagination goes bonkers. âsorry, can you come outside for a second when youâre ready?â
another round of laughter follows, more like teasing remarks because you can swear you heard a few of them refer to you as his girlfriend, and it gets you a little flustered, you wonât lie. you even hear one of them yell âooh, get it, heeseung,â as heeseung walks out, fixing his t-shirt, responding back with his middle finger up at whoever made the comment.Â
âhi,â his voice isnât much louder than a whisper, eyes fluttering between you, the floor, and his teammates who pretend to not look when you peek inside. thereâs a soft smile on his faceâ itâs cute, you think, and then rethink what you just thought. heeseung is, well, not cuteâ usually. heâs good-looking, handsome, hot, sexy, even, since youâre on the topic of finding adverbs that suit heeseung. cute is rarely one of them, you donât think youâve seen him as flustered as he is right nowâ rubbing his nape, a tint of pink on his cheeks, avoiding eye-contactâ thatâs far from the heeseung youâve been seeing for past two semesters.Â
âhi, can you send me the pdf of the extra set of questions that prof sent last week? i think i accidentally deleted it while clearing up my storage,â you get straight to the point, trying not to waste much of your precious time. âi couldâve texted you but figured youâd be too busy with practice to check messages,â you remember what happened last time; he took six days to reply to your texts. youâre quite a patient person otherwise but in this case, youâre in dire need of questions to practise for tomorrowâs mock.Â
âah, sure, give me a minute,â and he pulls out his phone, scrolling through an ocean of files and documents to look for the one you need. you do think heâs gorgeous though, itâs a well known fact that heâs stunning, but you think this look of heeseung surpasses the other ones quite easilyâ hairs wet after shower, partially covering his forehead, a white t-shirt thatâs slightly wet near the shoulders because of the water dripping downâ you wish heâd at least dry his hair before catching a cold. âactually, i would have replied to your texts if you hadâ oh, yes, there you go. do you want me to email it to you orâŠ?â
âoh, just texts would be fine, thank you,âÂ
âdone,â a pause, you feel his eyes on you as you go through the pdf to take a brief look at the contents. âdo you want to go for a walk? or are you getting back to studies?â at this point, youâre sure that question is a way to tease you about your obsession with studies. heeseung may think youâre overdoing it because you want to win, but itâs no more than the normal amount of hours you spend studying. he never paid you any attention to care about that.Â
âno, iâm done for today, actually,â and thatâs a big fat lie considering you were planning to solve some questions and revise two chapters before leaving the campus, but itâs fine. you feel bad for rejecting him six times either way.Â
never in your life did you imagine that youâd be going on a walk with heeseung. itâs nothing serious, you just didnât think there would be a day where you two would have normal people conversation while doing normal people activities instead of trying to disparage each other based on grades and academic performances. to think about it now, heeseung isnât half bad, it was all in your head. itâs not like you had vile assumptions about him, you did find him annoying and way too pridefulâ anyone like him would be, actually, and heeseung is still quite humble about his achievements because if it was someone else, they sure would have made it everyoneâs problem.Â
actually, heeseung is insufferable as well. you remember your first encounter with him, first and so far, the worstâ in the laboratory. you and heeseung sat next to each other and when the professor asked him to briefly explain his experiment, you realised itâs oddly similar to yours. you had accused him of cheating, like any sane person would, which led to him getting two scores less than a perfect. he only lost one score because of you, actually, and that too because you were professorâs favourite and heeseung was new to the department. the other score, you donât know where he missed, but that incident led to heeseung deleting your powerpoint thirty minutes before your presentation, which led you stealing his notes and selling it some junior through an undercover twitter account, which led to the professor asking you to help him with notes before exams, and everything ultimately led to the realisation that heeseung is actually quite decent if you behave with decency as well. the give and take is serious for him, because he gave you notes and so, you had to take his offer of going on a walk. even though it seemed like you had a choice, a part of you knew it was a mirage. you wouldâve ended up on a walk with heeseung one way or another.Â
âi come here whenever iâm tired or just not feeling well,â he says and you wake up from your daydream of memories you shared with heeseung. the way he phrases his words makes it sound like he has brought you to one of his most secret locations, one that no one knows except taehyun, probably, considering theyâre close friends, but in reality, itâs the playground you pass by every single day on your way from your apartment to university.Â
âoh, are you okay? are you nervous for tomorrowâs match?â you continue, deciding you shouldnât ruin his favourite place for him. honestly, no one wouldâve guessed that lee heeseung would come to a childrenâs park on bad days.Â
âactually, this walk was for you, you looked like youâd pass out if you spent another hour in front of books,â and youâre done, standing speechless with your eyes wide open at his words that he says with a victorious smile on his face. âyou should start taking breaks, yn. itâs not a bad thing to go home earlier when youâre tired,âÂ
heâs right, oh, you know heâs absolutely right about everything he just said, from passing out to going home. a part of him probably even feels glad to have you out on his little walk with him, youâre getting your well deserved rest, thanks to him. heeseung might even ask if he can walk you home considering youâre âdone for today,â which is very thoughtful of himâ but what does this make you? a liar? miyeon was right, youâre gambling, even though itâs not that serious. so far, youâve lied about being done with your studies and the bet you made with heeseung because at this point, itâs more like a prank, except itâs not funny and that it might end up with him getting upset with you because tomorrow is basketball tournamentâs finals and youâre here wasting his time, all because you lied.Â
a liar and a lover, on a date at childrenâs parkâ match made in theatre club, youâd say.Â
âare you sure this is not your way to manipulate into not studying and losing to you, just so you can date me?â you try to play it cool, knowing very well that it can be one of his tricks or whatsoever. after all, itâs the same heeseung who made you trip in front of your class just three days after being transferred.Â
âi was being genuine but it doesnât sound like a bad idea,â of course, it doesnât. he gets to win, after all. âcan i walk you home?â just as you had guessed.Â
âi would love to go home but my bag is still in the library,â you had considered taking it with you, actually, but dismissed the thought once you realised you had to come back to the library and continue with your studies. albeit, youâre not studying, thatâs on you for lying into oblivion and giving into his requests. Â
once again, you two are back to walking, this time back to the university campus. itâs nice, having a walk with heeseung, itâs sweet, slow, comforting, like slow music flowing around and engulfing you in its arms. the unsaid words are weighing on your shoulders, you can feel the pressure, but itâs not awkward. above the busy hustle of the city and blaring horns, itâs a quiet world with heeseung, itâs nice, like a warm hug after a long day. you didnât think you had it in yourself to spend a minute next to him without overthinking and possibly starting a banter. you didnât think heeseung had it in him either, to make a walk feel so close to home. Â
âso, how are you coping knowing youâre going to lose once again?â and, itâs back again. everything is a hoax actuallyâ his looks? a trap. his smile? a trap. itâs all a facade because once he opens his mouth, nothing but horseshit comes out of it.Â
âvery well, in fact, because i know iâm the one getting that first spot this time,â call it overconfidence but you really do think youâll get your title back this time. youâve been studying well and hard enough, solving questions and going through every extra set of notes and exercises your professor sent. although, you would claim to beat heeseung had you been prepared or not because itâs fun messing with him.Â
âiâd rather have you show some mercy, in that case,â before you know it, youâre already standing in front of the library. âacademic defeat and a heartbreak, it already sounds painful. i hope you go easy on me,â itâs sarcastic, of course, all these saccharine words of confessions made you forget how he is under the layers of smiles and winks that adorn his face. a session full of silence follows, the comforting tranquillity morphing into something tensed as he steps closer, your breath getting caught up in your throat as your mind dysfunctionsâ itâs the effect he has.Â
âheeseung,â you put a finger on his lipsâ the only thing between him and you, the only thing helping you stay sane and composed at the moment, because only you know the struggle of pulling yourself together while standing inches away from heeseung as he grabs your wrist and plants a soft kiss on your finger before removing it from his lips.Â
âwhy, thatâs unfair. you get to see me anytime you want while i have to wait because youâre busy studying, you even get to see me shirtless, and i canât even get a kiss?â and you hate the look in his eyes, you hate how close he is standing and how it makes your heart go crazy. this isnât even the beginning and you hate how you feel like youâve already lost, and you hate how confident he is with every breath he breathes against your lips. âjust kidding, see you tomorrow,âÂ
and you hate how this is where you realise that youâve fallen deep, and youâve fallen hard.Â
IV. PLANET TO A SUN
heeseung has been thinking about the walk for an hour and twenty-seven minutesâ actually more, ever since the moment he got home last night, but that is how long he has been practising for, eyes on the ball but mind revolving around you like a planet to a sun. you had texted him about a rule this morningâ no kissing before finals. actually no kissing before we start dating, leeâ your exact words. they have been holding him back from thinking straight, even made him practise an apology while looking in the mirror if in case his actions offended you in any way. lost in thought, heeseung manages to get another shot in. thatâs twenty-third in a row ever since he stepped on the court, which is unbelievable, even for him.Â
âis it just me or did heeseungâs performance improve overnight?â jake looks up at jay, fastening his shoelace, a chuckle escaping his lips that goes unnoticed.Â
the latter offers a hand to jake, helping him stand as they share a laugh before jay passes him the ball. âwell, of course it will. he has to impress his girlfriend today at finals,â
âsheâs not my girlfriend,â heeseung grunts almost as if hearing you and the word girlfriend in the same sentences cuts ten years from his lifespan. he knows it doesnât, heâd kill to call you hisâ. the reason behind his edgy behaviour is your text and the weird rule youâve inserted in an already weird betâ itâs not like he minds it, the bet, obviously. heeseung definitely minds not getting to kiss you for the next few weeks.Â
âyet,â jay clarifies, emphasising enough for the world to understand that his words are supposed to be in italics. âshe will be if you score more than her in finals, which i donât think is possible because unlike you, she has been studying all day everyday. i donât know how sheâs still alive,â and jay isnât half bad student himself. juniors in business have his name residing on the tips of their tongues. he simply thinks youâre a freak for being in no clubs and not participating in anything that doesnât involve studying.Â
âsheâs the top student for a reason,â jake adds.Â
âi am the top student,â and hearing his friends call you the top students hurts heeseungâs ego a little bit. crushes aside, youâre his rival before his girlfriend, and youâre not even his girlfriend. youâre basically just a rival. âalso, itâs not hard to study all day if youâre used to it,âÂ
and jay scoffs in disbelief. âright, you would know something about it, lee i canât go a day without playing basketball heeseung,âÂ
âhey, everyone,â your voice reverberating in the court is what stops heeseung from responding to jay with a snarky remark. âjust wanted to wish you all goodluck. i really hope you guys win the tournament or else, itâs going to be hard for heeseung to deal with two loses after i beat him in finals as well,âÂ
heeseung rolls his eyes in disbelief, you hear taehyun exclaim that he has been team yn since the very first day, a claim that few others proceed to back up, especially sunghoon, with his own lore of how he prays everyday for you to win the bet with heeseung. youâre honoured to receive such support, to some extent. a part of you still wishes for the whole thing to be a secret restricted to just heeseung and you but again, it was your fault for placing bets in court, in front of the entirety of the basketball team to witness, even their coach.Â
âyouâre a little too confident, donât you think so?â he smirks, taking a few steps towards you with the ball supported between his arms and torso. âlet me know where youâd like to go for our first date,â and it turns out heeseung is just as confident about winning the bet as you, perhaps even more. you are not surprised, being defending champions does that to people, or so you believe.
âmhm, letâs have you score a date first, lee,â you would have loved to talk more but decide to bid your goodbyes as soon as hanbinâs message pops up on your phone, the little scowl on heeseungâs face going unnoticed the moment he sees his name on your phone screen. heeseung would never in his wildest dream confess to being jealousâ it doesnât even make sense for him to be jealous of hanbin because he confessed to you, and you seem to like him back. his worries are pointless just like the useless art projects his art teacher used to assign in middle school.Â
your fingers dance on the keyboard of your phone as you reply to hanbin, the subtle taps synchronous with your steps with you rushing across the quadrangle, taking the nearest flight of stairs to the library. you wanted to spend the day at your apartment since classes are suspended for the rest of the day on account of the match. however, hanbin managed to convince you into coming to the library to help him with a few assignments here and there. youâre not opposed to studying on days-off, in fact you think itâs better since you get all twenty-four hours to yourself instead of investing any of it in classes. the match gave you an excuse to call in for a break, or an excuse to take your time choosing the outfits as if youâre the main character on such a big day.Â
the librarian gestures to you to slow down the moment you almost avoid slipping on the tiled floor, in the process of holding the door frame to stop yourself, an embarrassed apology makes its way from you to her as you spot hanbin in the further corner with his airpods plugged in. your first instinct is to scare him from behind but the thought leaves your mind as soon as you remember that youâre in a library, and getting kicked out on a day that has been treating you well so far doesnât sound so smart.Â
so, you settle with approaching normal, instead of pulling random stunts, pulling out the chair opposite to him quietly to not make any sounds, mumbling a soft âhiâ as he takes out one of his airpods. âwhereâs miyeon?âÂ
âsick, sheâs skipping todayâs match as well,â hanbin replies, eyes fixed on the notes he's copying from the laptop to loose sheets of paper, before looking up at you with another question on the tip of his tongue. âare you two still not talking?âÂ
âwe did, none of us brought up what happened that day, though,â you shrug as if it doesn't bother you anymore, as if you don't want it to bother you more than it already does.
miyeon and you have known each other since university, she was a senior in undergrad course who was forced by financial circumstances to skip one academic year, thus rejoining in third year along with you and hanbin. seeing her was less frequent while she was still a senior, although you're not sure if you've spent more than three days away from her ever since postgrad school started. a heavy tension masks all your conversations with her, over texts or in person, and even though you're trying to act like the small talks with her don't hurt you, a part of you is starting to miss the best friend you used to talk to all night, about wasted matters and sharing useless gossip.
silence fills in for the lack of words between you and hanbin and you allow it to do so, deciding not to disturb the decorum of the library anymore. you scroll through your phone mindlessly, thereâs nothing to look at except people going crazy about the evening's match. you even manage to stumble upon a thread of arguments featuring students of your university and the one the team is going against. itâs all empty threats, seriously, âkysâ and âur momâs in my bedâ arenât even insults at this point. theyâre funny, sometimes, but youâll never understand why or how they ended up being insults. ( honestly, you donât see the potential )Â
âare you serious about heeseung?â a crack in the ice, hanbin's question catches you off guard, with a number of questions running back and forth in your mind before you settle with the one to respond with in return.
you blink in confusion. âi guess so, why?âÂ
ânothing, itâs just i never expected it to be him, yâknow, considering your history,â you think it's unavoidable, questions along these lines, they would've been asked sooner or later. truthfully, even you didn't expect yourself to fall for heeseung.
your history, what even is there to call history except blood and war? both you and heeseung have been up each other's neck from the moment your gazes collided. it sounds like a stupid beef between highschool students, almost embarrassing now that you both are nearing post graduation. with all the days that youâve spent thinking about ways to get on his nerves, or worseâ ruin his projects, it wasnât just you who resorted to ruining each otherâs hard workâ no one would have known you and heeseung would ever end up on this note, with him chasing you and you pinning for him, all under the blankets of a silly bet.
âwell, as i always say, hanbin, life is unpredictable,â thereâs a smile dancing on your lips, a dazzling hint of factuality in your eyes. âbesides, heâs a nice guy behind all the annoying things he does. i think he's pretty serious about me, or us, too,â
hanbin has noticed the way you smile at your phone. it doesnât always happen, only when youâre talking with miyeon or a few friends from highschool, now heeseung ranks up on that list as well. heâd be lying if the uneasiness doesnât bother him, itâs bound to surface when he remembers all the nights you spent complaining about heeseung. actually, the rant session included hanbin, you and miyeon, but she would rather go to sleep than listen to you complain like a child for hours on roll, leaving you and hanbin driving the conversation. he has lost count of the amount of times youâve ended up crying in the process, or the amount of times he has hung up on you only to show up at your place late at night to make sure youâre doing okay, and the nights you two have spent watching movies and falling asleep on the couch, followed by the mornings gone by with miyeon being salty over the fact that none of you invited her to your impromptu nightover.Â
the thought of heeseung confessing to you still surprises hanbin, itâs one of the things he deemed as impossible since forever. and he can go, warn heeseung about hurting you, dropping all sorts of threats at the boy. hanbin can go on for hours about how he would make heeseungâs life a living hell if he ever broke your heart. he can prove the righteous friend that he is, but at the end of day, he would always be the third person between you and heeseung. hanbin can only assume so much about you two, not even sure if all of it is right. he can only wish so much for you to have eyes for someone else.Â
and so, all he does is shoot a smile at you. âi hope he is,âÂ
.Â
.Â
.
the only time you step out of the library is exactly three hours and thirty three minutes later, to sprint towards the basketball knowing that you absolutely cannot afford losing seats in the first two rows. fortunately, or unfortunately enough, youâre not the only student going crazy about the game. you can swear at least a dozen came out of the library right after you, even though all of them may not attend the game.
youâre already running lateâ well, still twenty minutes early but that doesnât give you much time to meet the team and secure the front row seats. and meeting the team is an excuse, letâs be honest. you want to meet heeseung, have a quick private talk, kiss him good luck, you donât know; you wouldnât. your head is in a mess, behind you hanbin is yelling for you to slow down as you run down the stairs. half of you is worrying about seats and the other half is wording her sentences out for you to say when you meet heeseung, and the team. you can wish them all the luck in the world, after all, itâs the university team and you would love to see them win. the whole craze about sports doesnât feel real and worth the hype but things start coming full circle when youâre the one watching. slowly, as one would expect, but you are starting to understand why everyone goes bonkers during tournament season.Â
âdamn, slow down,â hanbin huffs, grabbing your arm for you to slow down. âitâs not like they wouldnât start without you,âÂ
âthatâs the problem. what if they start without me?â but your legs wouldnât rest before arriving at the court. you know your words sound funny, painting you as if the result of todayâs match depends on you. it feels crazy to be this excited about a mere basketball match, nonetheless you know itâs not the match youâre actually looking forward to. âbesides, iâm more worried about seats,âÂ
âi asked hao to save two for us. heâs friends with heeseung, i think he will do that much for his friendâs girlfriend or whatsoever,â you see him roll his eyes at his own words, proceeding to slide his hands into yours before continuing on your way to the venue, this time a little slower.Â
you have heard about hao from hanbin and miyeon a few times. heâs pursuing a masters in music, wants to teach violin professionally according to hanbin. miyeon has even attended one of his recitals last autumn, something from sibelius, if you remember correctly. he is popular, and you see the depths of his popularity as soon as you spot him on the bleachers, surrounded by people left and right, one of them trying to grab a seat next to him before he points at you and hanbin, and the crowd goes mild, ultimately dissolves as the players step in.Â
âi didnât know heeseung had a girlfriend,â you donât know what you were expecting, perhaps a few words of greetings, hiâs and helloâs since you two are meeting for the first time. anything, except that question.Â
âbelieve me, i didnât either,â and why even is heeseung going around telling everyone that youâre his girlfriend?       Â
the court breaks into cheers as soon as the game commences and yet, it feels a little quite. perhaps, itâs miyeonâs absence getting to you. had it been her next to you instead of hanbin and haoâ who are busy amongst themselves by the way, talking about anything but the matchâ she wouldâve been eating snacks non-stop, giving you a little talk on every player, like a resume. itâs take her fifteen minutes to give you summaries on players from each team, their achievements, girlfriends and probably even mothers, who knows. although, you havenât attend many games with miyeon to pinpoint every good and bad thing about her impromptu presentation, her unofficial commentary helped you sit throughout the match. it feels incomplete without her, not just the game but days in general. itâs definitely her absence making your surroundings feel quieter.Â
so, long story short, you donât have a clue of whatâs happening. well, you do, a little. you know what a dunk and a three pointer is besides the names of players on your university team, but that basically sums up your knowledge about basketball. all sorts of voices are mingling in the air but youâre busy following the ball around the court with your gaze, occasionally cursing and clapping when the team misses a close basket or scores a comparatively difficult basket. the tension between the two teams keeps rising as the game continues. you notice sunghoon groan in disappointment as one of the players from the opposite team gets in a banked shot from the wings, scoring two points for the team. a part of the crowd goes quieter at jayâs failed attempt to save the score for his team, beomgyu patting on jayâs back while muttering something along the lines of âgood job.â involuntarily, your eyes travel to heeseung, whose expression stiffens at the sight of the scoreboard displaying a two-point lag.
a time out call follows as the players move back to their respective ends, and it physically hurts you to see the difference in atmosphere between the two teams, or the frowns on the faces of players on your university team. for a second, you even consider walking down to them as they gather around the coach, grabbing water bottles and towels while nodding at the coachâs words between heavy breaths. you catch jake looking in your direction for a brief second, a smile makes its way to your lips before he responds with one as well, proceeding to nudge heeseungâs arm and pointing in your direction. his actions are left with no responseâ it hurts a little, although you are aware that anything else falls after winning the match on his priority listâ and they get back on the court as the game resumes.Â
âthey need to catch up soon,â hanbin mutters, taking a look at the clock. and even if itâs just a two point difference, youâre starting to understand why it creates a huge gap. itâs almost like scores on a test. going from eighty-three to ninety then hundred is easier than going from ninety-eight to hundred. greater differences are easier to overcome; for you have so many rooms for improvisation and thus, so many chances at closing the gap. the closer you are to a perfect score, the narrower are the chances and itâs almost impossible to pin-point and work on every single weakness of yours within those two points. youâre pretty sure your words would hardly make sense to anyone else, but nonetheless you understand why everyone on the court looks more attentive, probably like meerkats on the lookout for preys and predators.Â
much to your disappointment, the play continues with the rivals dominating the court, giving low to zero chances for the opposition to get their hands on the balls. you even see a few of them trying to provoke heeseung, the latter trying his best to not react but youâre afraid he would start throwing punches if another one of the players passed by him with his middle finger up heeseungâs face. one of them, who you assume is the captain judging from the way he has been directing his team, goes in for a hook, immediately getting blocked by taehyun as the court bursts into loud cheers once again.Â
âthat was a little too far for a hook,â hao comments, and you nod as if you understand his words and know exactly how a hook is supposed to be. you didnât even know about a hook until now, and youâre still not sure what it is since all the shots look almost the same to you.Â
from that second onwards, it felt as if the control transferred to heeseungâs teams as they transition quickly from defence to offence, making quick passes and running the court, practically catching the opposite team off guard. jay passes the ball to jake, who takes a leap from half court, driving towards the unguarded basket. a quick layup using the backboard, as you hear hanbin name the shot, and basically everyone runs to jake for scoring two points for the team as the scoreboards displays a sour tie. itâs a seemingly easy match after that, especially when the players look like theyâre back into the game. sunghoon passes the ball to heeseung who goes for another layup and fails, much to his despair, before going in for a dunk and scoring yet another basket for the team, leading it by two points. you see him passing a cocky smirk at the player from before as jake pats him in the back with heeseung almost stumbling in the process.Â
heeseung shoots you a wink before focusing on sunghoonâs words as they get back into position, and even amidst the butterflies you got by his recent actions, you donât miss the way he stretches his fingers, ring-finger specifically, pointing something about the movements to jay before getting his focus back to the game; and you just hope it isnât what youâre thinking it is.Â
itâs a slow game after that, no points scored, four fouls with two of them back to back, one by each team respectively. the frustration increases on the court, evident in each step taken by the players, groans and sighs fill the atmosphere and get louder than the cheers that have gone quieter once again. it isnât until a few minutes later that all the players run to the front court as soon as they see an opportunity for a fast break with taehyun taking the lead, passing the ball to jay just a few seconds after, who passes it to heeseungâ and call it the lack of efficiency or bad timing, heeseung bumps into one of the players from opposite team, an uneven balance, and falls directly on his right knee, as one of the opposite players throws the ball off-bounds to stop the play.Â
the medics take him to the benches, bringing ice packs and everything else before escorting him inside. you considered following him inside before hanbin tells you that the officials arenât letting anyone meet him, probably until they receive updates of his situations. you bite the inside of your cheeks in nervousness, palms sweating as if youâre about to appear for an exam you werenât informed about until five minutes ago, or maybe itâs even worse. the murmurs from the crowd or the group of girls behind you, to be more specific, do nothing but make you feel more anxious. zhang hao, being a sports medicine student, tries to give you an insight on heeseungâs injury, telling you that even if he fell directly on his knee and it could result in a patella fracture, or perhaps just dislocationâ words that compel you to yell at him to shut up before he ensures that heeseung will be fine. hanbin does that for you, noticing your slightly panicked state, telling hao to talk about anything but anatomy of how badly a simple injury can affect a player, and when sunghoon and taehyun return to the officials with an update on heeseung and a pale face, you knew you had to run to your heeseung as if itâs the end of the world.Â
âheeseung,â you breathe out, stepping aside to let the nurse from the infirmary leave before you walk closer to him. the awkwardness between you and other players, namely jay, jake and beomgyu, besides the coach, rings all the bells to remind you that coming here was probably a bad idea. well, of course, you like heeseung and are worried for him, but the tension in the air makes you feel like you showed up uninvited. âare you okay?âÂ
you ask nonetheless, voice close to a whisper, as you stand at a distance, looking at the bruise on his knee. the smell of antiseptic spray fills your lungs, nose scrunching at the way you could almost taste the diclofenac at the back of your mouth.Â
ânot really,â he inhales sharply, exhaling a reply once everyone left, knowing they had a game to get back to. âlook at you, are you worried for me?â
âiâm regretting coming here now,â liar. and then you let the silence carry the conversation with itself for the next few minutes. you donât know what to sayâ what can you say? all you do is sit next to him, hands brushing against his as his winces at the slightest touch. heeseung opened his mouth to say something before dismissing his words with a heavy sigh the very next moment. you almost hold his handâ almost, thinking of holding it ever so carefully as if itâs glass with thousands of cracks, and then youâd kiss it ever so delicately, you did itâ almost, but then, itâs just you getting upset over the fact that he played even after hurting his hand.
âso, theyâre benching you,â you say in an attempt to strike a conversation, a little conflicted with your choice of words, wondering if he even wants to hear about something related to the match at the moment.Â
âof course,â he says it like a matter of fact, a fact whose impact doesnât seem to touch him. âplease tell me they have jeno substituting for me. iâve barely been getting updates in the group chat,â the least he expected was for one of the substitute players to keep him updated about the game through texts, and heeseung planned to get back to the court until you showed up, taking a seat next to him on the benches in the locker room. you donât understand why they didnât take him to the infirmary, and decided to think itâs because locker rooms are closer and if thereâs anything heeseung should not be doing right now, itâs moving his injured leg.Â
you shrug. âi donât know, iâll ask hanbin,â
âthanks,â and even though heeseung isnât really fond of your friend for reasons that are widely known, at least amidst his friend group, he really hopes hanbin is of some use.Â
itâs quiet now. you can hear faint cheers buried in the layers of walls and rooms that stand between the court and the locker room, a few muffled footsteps filling up any spaces left in the air, here and there. you assume itâs his fans trying to check up on him, as annoying as it sounds to you for youâd rather have this moment with him all to yourself. you hear him sigh heavily once every few minutes, trying to ball his injured fingers up in a fist to allow the slightest of moments and ensure healthy circulation, a soft hiss leaving his lips at the sensation of striking pain shooting up his nerves. unlike heeseung, your attention shifts to his injured knee with a faint chill running down your spine as you look at his bruise, which now looks more bluish than it was when you had arrived, signifying the possibly alarming amount of blood that has now clotted in the tissues.Â
âyou can cry,â nudge him with your shoulders and heeseung directs you to the most disgusted face in return. âwhat? itâs the finals and youâre injured so you wonât be able to play today. any normal person would sob their eyes out,âÂ
âiâm not a kid, yn,â he nudges back, a chuckle slipping off his lips.Â
âtrying to act all cool but youâre probably going to cry yourself to sleep for days, or even weeks,â he holds out his hand for you to hold it as you stand up, an action you give into without opposition, intertwining your fingers with his. thereâs a smug smile on your face and he sees it as well, although only you know the way your heart is somersaulting at the way your hands fit hisâ like pieces of a puzzle. âi know what you are, heeseung,â
he scoffs at your words, hands still entwined, a lovesick glow in his eyesâ itâs your first time seeing this side of him, youâre glad to be one of the people to see it. silence has never felt so comfortable to you. the distant noise from court feels like it rushed on its way to you and heeseung, and stopped at the doors, as if you two are beyond its reach. you might never say it to him, but everything seemingly ceases to exist when youâre with him, and the world feels timeless. itâs embarrassing, cringe, and itâs making your heart beat faster with the way he looks at you. âyou need to shut up,â
âmake me?â a quick response, one that was supposed to be a joke, a joke which was supposed to be accompanied by laughter and brushed off as another baseless comment, but another second passes as you continue to look into his eyes, and you realise youâre actually considering itâ leaning in towards him while giving his hand a light tug to pull him towards you the slightest, your other hand cupping his face as your gaze ghosts up his eyes and settles on his lips. when it comes to him, rationality is out of the window and your lips are on hisâ planting the softest kiss at the corner of his mouth before pulling away like nothing ever happened. Â
a pause; you could hear the silence ringing in your years, eyes fixed over him as if youâre spilling all your secrets to him, waiting for him to take a hint. âwhat even happened to the âno kissing before finalsâ rule?ââ
and you realise you had actually forgotten about it, for better and never for the worse, because as you said and as he repeated, itâs all about timing. empty locker rooms, quiet hallways with not a soul around, your hand in his, his eyes on youâ the timing couldnât be better, and you know better than messing up and letting heeseung become just a closed chapter of your life. âyeah, i could care less about that,â
there are a lot of things you could care less about, like the cold metal that stings against your back as he pushes you against the lockers, or the fact that anyone could walk in, any minute; you donât care, donât know. his lips are on yours and his hands are on your waist, it feels euphoric the way his lips move in synchrony with yours, fitting like puzzle pieces. heeseung tugs you closer by your waist, a faint gasp escaping your mouth that dissolves immediately into your breaths mingling together. itâs intoxicating and is making you go insane, the way he manages to sweep you off your feet with the smallest of actions and simplest of wordsâ from the very first day.Â
heeseung was right, and you as well, itâs all about timing. from the day you first looked at him in a seminar, to the day he switched to biotechâ you plan on asking him why because so far, all your guesses seem implausibleâ down to the day he confessed, leading up to this moment with you pressing against the lockers and his lips against against yours. heeseung sighs softly, cupping your cheeks and tilting your head to deepen the kiss, and you could feel the heat of his breath against your lips when you pull away just when it was about to get better, avoiding his lips when he leans in to chase yours barely a millisecond later. your eyes shift down to his hand, one that has been injured during the game, and you proceed to hold it carefully, brushing your lips over the bruise lightly before adorning it with feathery kisses as his other hand travels down to your waist once again, pulling you closer. âyou should go easy on yourself,â
you whisper the exact same words he had told you a day ago, traversing your eyes back towards him while your gazes have a conversation so foreign, as if itâs only for the silence to understand. and itâs quite literally just the two of you basking in silence as he rests his head against the crook of your neck, planting a few kisses here and there before pulling you even closer, as if you were going to disappear any second. âi think, iâm in love with you,âÂ
and timing be damnedâ because heeseung confesses to you once again, and then heâs kissing you once again, slowly, sweetly, in love, and timing doesnât even matter because every second feels right with him. with the same air of delighted indifference he comes to know well in the gleam of your touch and the curl of your lips, you simply kiss him back as if to say, hate to admit, but iâm in love with you too. and timing really be damned because you hear loud rounds of cheers as you feel his shoulders stiffen. a slight disconnection between you and heeseung makes you wonder if heâs thinking about the results of the game, which is inevitable, but this is about you and him, and nothing else. you hear the notifications from his phone go off, hinting that the match is probably over, and you pull him into another kiss, another round of selfishness guised as an outlet for him to forget about the game, another round of messy make outs, tasting the freedom of ignorance.Â
and then you donât hear from heeseung again. Â
V. OBJECT OF ALL DESIRES
days without heeseung feel like theyâre forty-eight hours long.
you think itâs a disease or some sort of withdrawal syndrome. this isnât your first time without him, in fact, you used to do just fine without him in your life until you let him in. at this point, it isnât even about not being able to see himâ heeseung has been absent for almost seven days. you even asked jay about him to see if he has been in contact with any of his teammates but much to your disappointment, he disappeared off the face of earth like he never existed. taehyun has constantly been reminding you to not fret too much, knowing that heeseung gets a little dramatic after losing matches. you can take his word, obviously, a friend from highschool would know heeseung better than a girl who started talking to him normally barely weeks ago, although you couldnât help but worry about him as seconds passed like water dripping down the tap, disturbing the silence.Â
you know how losses feelâ like a part of you has been taken out and youâre left to bleed. itâs worse when itâs about something youâve loved all your life. youâve walked next to losses, hand in hand. when you know youâve lost something while having it in the palms of your hands the whole time, the feeling eats you inside. you wonder if heeseung is feeling the same way you think he is, even if he didnât show it a week ago when you had met him in the clubroom, the feeling starts to sink in when youâre alone amidst the ghosts of nobodies. even though he was smiling and acting like the little shit he is, you felt anger and regret in the way he kissed you. there was a sense of numbness dripping down his fingertips in the way they brushed against your cheeks, cupping your face. you couldâve been a sweet escapeâ it hurts to admit that the emotions werenât possibly real, but you couldnât blame him.Â
losing a match, to put it in your words, meant failing in a test; and losing because of an injury, itâs like skipping a test you prepared for, because of fever. except tests can be rescheduled for students who missedâ a luxury heeseung, as a basketball player, cannot enjoy. even you couldnât believe your eyes when the students on the forum started talking about the lost match, all sorts of comments going around, though none targeted at heeseung, fortunately. yet, your first instinct was to dial his numberâ out of reach, the first thing you hear on the other side of the line, and all youâve been hearing for days now.Â
you had considered cutting ties with him, not literally, but as in stopping to chase him as if heâs the oxygen you inspire. you couldâve showed up at miyeonâs place with apologies, her favourite snacks and a brief explanation of why you did what you did, and everything that has happened as the consequences of your own actions. with weekends approaching, you couldâve planned a two-day trip with her and hanbin before the winter snow made it hard to commuteâ just anything to get your mind off heeseung, since apparently, you werenât on his mind either. albeit, you end up doing nothing, no trips, no plans to see miyeon, itâs just you and your bruised heart with soju on the side. your mind is way too cluttered with thoughts about heeseung to focus on studying and at the same time, itâs way too empty to try doing anything else. Â
so, you simply venture down the hallways, drowning in all kinds of thoughts, good and bad. you can use the time to study but concentration has been far out of your reach ever since the match, or ever since he went underground, to be more specific. the impromptu make out session was probably his last strawâ it makes sense. you kissed someone who had been walked out of a match because of an injury instead of consoling them. you let your feelings get the best of you, making everything about yourself yet again. you wonât be surprised if heeseung decides to ghost you for the rest of his life after that; or maybe, thatâs not possible since you see a familiar figure sitting in the outdoor basketball court, spinning the ball with itâs axis on the ground in a directionless manner.Â
âheeseung?â you notice his back tense at the sound of you calling his name, head down low as if heâs responding with an exasperated sigh. âwhere the hell have you been? iâve been trying to reach youâ heck, even your friends havenât heard a word from you in days,â
ânot now, yn, leave me alone,â and an exasperated sigh is what it was.Â
âlook, i knowââ
âjust, what part of leaving me alone do you not understand?â you try to speak but heeseung cuts you off just as efficiently as he does other things, with annoyance heavily evident in his words. had it not been heeseung, you wouldâve left already, for you have more important things to tend to, and youâre certainly not interested in matters youâre not supposed to be included in, if only it wasnât heeseung, and if only you werenât crazily worried for him.Â
âoh, i understand it clearly, every part, actually, and i also understand that youâre upset and leaving you alone would certainly not be the best move considering the way you went MIA for a week,â and you understand his impulses about disappearing into thin air, wishing the ground eats him up or for the walls to cave in till heâs entombed in them, but a person as smart as him should know taking out helps better than thinking about wanting to vanish. âwe can sit and have a talk if you stop being such an asshole about it. iâm down to listen toââ
âfine, what do you want to hear about?â he cuts you off in annoyances, the ball rolls down to a distance like your heart when you see the unfamiliar emotion in his eyes. âyou were right. i went home and have been crying myself to sleep. i havenât been eating well either. i skipped five out of nine mocks and barely passed the four i gave, letâs add that too. is that enough?âÂ
you donât like the way he puts it, as if itâs supposed to make you feel better. maybe about the bet, maybe, since heâs supposed to rank above you in finals to get around dating you, and maybe watching him lose is supposed to offer you some sort of reliefâ seriously, what youâre feeling right now is far from that. guilt, anger, shame, youâre not unfamiliar with those emotions. they eat you inside and itâs not because youâve met with defeat, itâs because of falling off all the expectations people had, giving them another reason to point fingers and laugh. you could be really over-reacting, but if you didnât have your parents telling you itâs going to be fine every time you didnât do well on tests, you donât know where you wouldâve been right now. and you think you can play a part of the same for heeseung, if not all.Â
you sit next to him, nose scrunching at the sight of dust on the cement laid with cracks. thatâs what you get with an outdoor court no longer in use. you can see little plantlets germinating from the soil, emerging through the cracks, the rusted ring catches your eye. heeseung huffs as you settle next to him, wondering exactly how long the court has been unused for, considering its lack of maintenance. âletâs date,âÂ
and your words are not what you were planning to say or what should be said in this situation, but they still manage to extract a response from him. âdonât play with me,âÂ
âiâm not, in fact, that is what iâve been wanting to say to you for days. of course, this isnât the best timing, but i donât know what else to say,â you pause in what feels like embarrassment. too bad, his crush is not good at conversations. sometimes you end up nodding and blinking for five minutes straight before saying anything, after a person opens up to you with tears and blood. âand, iâm not going to tell you to stop acting like a child or whatever because the team lost such an important match and somewhere, youâre blaming yourself for it, which you shouldnât, by the way. all i need to say is that you still have the next year to make up for what youâve lost now,âÂ
second chances come with higher expectations from people along with words that end up making one feel worse about their situation. youâve already heard a few students talk about how heeseung shouldâve been more âcarefulââ as if it was his choice to get injured and lose the match. you know it wasnât going to be easy, especially with his injury that probably requires him out of the court for weeks, but you hope that amidst whatever heâs feeling, between self-loath and regret, heeseung manages to find himself once again.Â
âactually, iâm planning to drop out of the team next year and focus on studies. my parents were already against me playing basketball during postgrad, iâm finally starting to notice why,â basketball couldâve been his entire career if heeseungâs grandmother had not wished for him to go into the medical field. seeing the insides of a person makes him want to empty his bowel from the mouth so biotechnology was his next option. heeseung thought having two hands would give him the benefit of managing basketball and academics together, unlike how his parents had wished for, but his recent mock scores and lack of time devoted to studies is making him question his choices. âand what the hell were you on about dating, by the way?âÂ
youâre half immersed in your own thoughts until heeseung directs the question at youâ brows furrowed, confusion shadowing his faceâ you realise itâs your turn to do the talking. âoh, you know, dating. i think we should start dating already, itâs quite inevitable after that day in the clubroom,âÂ
it is evitable, really, but youâre down badâ with all due respect.Â
you havenât been okay ever since you realised that you like heeseung, and youâve been trying to act normal about it, attempting to not lose your cool-hard-to-get-girl composureâ miyeonâs words, and they make you cringeâ while the thought of him is eating your brain slowly and gradually, making you go insane. if you were to narrate from where you opened and closed the door at, it would be a slippery slope, you donât know how someone ends up falling for the person they despise. the yn from a month or two ago would be knowing, you can see her shrugging and getting back to her books, saying see saw it coming. ( itâs miyeonâs fault for making you even think about having a mind blowing chemistry with heeseung ) the you from two semesters ago, when he first transferred, would hate you and call you a traitor, might even write whore on a mirror while looking at it because you fold at the sight of hot, smart and sporty men who are perfect at everything, even at ruining someoneâs life, like heâs ruining yours; and the yn from highschool, you see her squealing on the floor because oh, what a fan of enemies to lovers she wasâ heeseung wouldnât even have been in the current picture if your highschool crush slash rival liked you back. the current you, well, sheâs a goner, and in denial that sheâs a goner. too much pride does something to a person, especially when youâre an over-scorer and an academic weapon. youâve lost all your abilities of letting your guard down even once, refusing to give up and accept defeat, no matter how tortuous it is on the inside.Â
the current you is more like a victorian man looking at ankles for the very first time.Â
âand the bet? what happened to it?â he chuckles, of course, anyone would, considering the way youâve lost after placing the bet with utmost confidence slash overconfidence. see, it never ends well, anything, with overconfidence, it doesnât end well, never have and never will. and you, you donât learn, sitting with the very well known fact that if you were given the chance, you would place the bet with him again. Â
âah, i didnât mean to do that, honestly. i was confused when you confessed, it was so sudden, i didnât know how to respond. the bet was the best i could come up with,â miyeon was right, you couldâve used something along the lines of âi need some time,â that day instead of pulling out a bet right out of your ass, and now you donât know how to save face. at least the fact that heeseung confessed first makes you feel a little better about yourself. âcâmon, i know you love challenges. i was just trying to see if it gets you turned on or something,âÂ
and heeseung scoffs in disbelief, eyeing you at your choice of words. âyeah, i feel very turned on knowing my crush dragged me into a bet that iâve been working so hard for and she wasnât even serious about it,âÂ
âworking hard? from what i saw, the only thing you worked hard for was basketball,â you raise your brows, a taunting intonation in your voice. a part of you regrets the choice of words, knowing that basketball is seemingly quite a sensitive topic to bring up at the moment. albeit, the slight fear evaporates off when he laughs and dismisses your words and nothings.Â
he leans a little closer, hands touching yours. âyou never know what iâm up to at home,âÂ
a pause; you look in his eyes and then at his lips, he mirrors your actions with a smirk on his face. you guess that thereâs a second meaning to his words, not sure what, but the look in his eyes tells you something about it. âi think we should get back to when you were talking mental and i was talking you down,âÂ
and you could grab his face and kiss him with no one around, on the unmaintained basketball court for the grey and cloudy skies to see. you could run your hands through his hairs and tell him how crazy he makes you while planting kisses down his neck. you can kiss him till both of your lungs are begging for oxygen, and that's when you'd tell him how he makes you feelâ breathless and drowning, a little insane every time you see him flirting with someone that's not you. you can kiss him till the sun goes down and evening takes over, it doesn't matter if you're outside for the world to see. you would've kissed him if heeseung hadn't leaned back, looking at the ball lying stray at a distance.
âby the way, iâd love to date you,â he smiles at the infinite horizon before looking at you, as if waiting for a response already known.
âyeah, i figured that,â you try to play it cool as if youâre all knowing. itâs partially true, he did confess to you first. âletâs make another bet: no kissing before finals, and the one who ends up giving in first has to buy dinner,â you come up with yet another bet, your voice hinting the enthusiasm for no apparent reason. Â
heeseung squints at you, a little conflicted, quite unsure of your words. it sounds like a moment of deja vu, hopefully on a better note this time âround. âthatâs not even valid, we made out not even a week ago,âÂ
âlet bygones be bygones, hee,â he likes the sound of the little nickname you've given him, unlike bygones, the word you use to refer to your very first kiss with him as if it's an unfortunate memory. âitâs decided then, no kissing before finals and the loser has to buy dinner, and i wonât be satisfied with anything less than a five star meal,âÂ
you squint, index finger pointing at him, a challenging composure. another chuckle from him makes itâs way to you, lips curling into a faint smile. it takes you all the way back to the day you placed your first bet with him, with head empty and no logic, for the entirety of the basketball team to see, hear, and talk about it as if itâs supposed to be on the headlines of the national newspaper. your eyes spark up in anticipation, wondering if the two of you are down for another bet, one that doesnât proceed towards failure, hopefully.
âthe last time you did something like this, you ended up running back to me and asking me to date you,â he scoffs softly, side-eyeing you with a mocking gaze, quite ready to pull out the receipts if you ever deny his words. you hate how correct he is, all the time, actually, and you hate how you donât have words to argue back.
lee heeseung, a nobody to you till he switched to your department, just some student who was there to pass time until he started ranking above you on tests and flipped your whole world upside down. you tried to not think about him and failed every timeâ still beats you why. youâve never let distractions get the best of you, but heeseung, perhaps heâs more than just a distraction, or maybe he isnât a distraction at all. heâs like a plant in your garden that you could care less aboutâ should care less about, itâs growing without harming your plants, but itâs creeping against a wall with pretty flowers for show, and before you know it, itâs demanding for all your attention that you offer without second thoughts, unwillingly at first.Â
heâs the bane of your existence and object of all your desires, to put it simply and make it sound clichĂ©. youâve had your moments trying to run away from him, get him out of your head, annoy him to the point heâd prefer flying to the other side of the globe, or that could be you too, anywhere, far from him. but life, for the thousandth time, is unpredictable. when was the last time something worked out exactly how you had plannedâ canât remember, obviously, just like the way you donât remember when heeseung started occupying a corner of your brain, popping in and out at random times and disrupting your thought process. the more you tried to ignore him, the further he housed in your head, the deeper in your heart, closer, within your reach, as if for you to grab his hands and let him enter your side of the world.Â
and so, you kiss him again, pulling him towards you with the collars of his jacket. you feel him smile, a triumphant smile, as expected from someone who is used to winning. you don't think you can say you've lost, not at the way he cups your cheeks and tilts his head to deepen the kiss just moments before you pull away. âi always run back to you, donât i?âÂ
and you're a child infatuated with their favourite sport, a painter falling in love with strokes, a pianist dancing to the melody of rachmaninoff, a student addicted to getting a perfect score, a player addicted to winning. you trace back to things you like, you always run back to heeseung,
and you always would.Â
TEN MINUTES LATER :
heeseung plants a soft peck on your lips. âdinnerâs on you,âÂ
âfuck!âÂ
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The Type of Yandere König Is
Warnings: 18+, Toxic Behaviour, Manipulative Behaviour, Gaslighting, Possessiveness, Implied Smut, Non-Explicit Implications of Smut, Toys Mentioned, Degradation, Slut-Shaming, Submissive König, Dominant König, Aftercare, Petnames, Profanity, No Pronouns used for Reader except âYouâ.
SFW
Insanely loyal and loving â wolfishly puppyish in his temperament.
For you, and only you, he shows his soft side; acts of domesticity and kindness are his love language.
Though, he tells you he loves you on a nigh-hourly basis.
âI just canât seem to stop saying it â I love you !â
He knows you better than you know yourself, and he uses this knowledge to his advantage.
Heâll all but read your mind through subtle physical cues â changes in posture, a shift in the atmosphere, the dilation of your pupils â to do for you what you havenât even thought of doing yet.
Passing you your drink, cooking you a meal, performing your chores for you â anything you can possibly think of doing or needing, König handles it before you can.
Of course this insatiable need to perform is rooted in love. But it runs much deeper than that.
König needs you â so utterly and unequivocally that it frightens him. And the thought of you leaving and taking his heart with you is infinitely more terrifying to him than having to put his life on the line and indulge in his occupation whenever heâs taken off leave.
König wants you to see that you need him as much as he does you, that you should (and will be) dependent on him not just for your happiness, but for your survival.
This desire to be all that you need becomes especially evident a good year into your relationship; when you trust König more than anyone â more than yourself â he takes that trust and runs with it.
He absolutely gaslights you into believing youâve misplaced things, done things you havenât done. While this is a good enough excuse to keep you in the house, heâs not above resorting to most outlandish tales to isolate you further, no matter how ludicrous his âreasoningâ may seem.
âYou want to go out ? Now ?â heâll say. âButââ he peeks behind the curtain, looks out the window, âDarling, itâs raining.â
âKönig, I can hear the sun shining, Köni; itâs not raining.â
And all to keep you dependent on him.
Whether or not you take to Königâs lies is up to how much you love him, how well you believe you can live without him.
But just know that, if you ever try to leave him â when you are immune to his persuasion and elusion â König has made people disappear before. And heâll do it again.
NSFW
This man will be anything you want him to be â it doesnât matter how demeaning it is.
Whatever mood youâre in, he has something to cater to it.
Cat ears, maid outfit, gags, rope, nipple clamps, whips â you name it, heâs let you use it on him.
So long as youâre enjoying yourself, so is he.Â
He literally canât finish until you do. So for both love and sanityâs sake, heâs a very proficient lover.
Definitely a moaner when heâs subbing â his whines and whimpers are so pretty and breathless that you can hardly believe they come from such a behemoth of a military princess.
This paints König out as a rather submissive breed of boyfriend, which, to the untrained eye, would be a fair observation.
However, you know better. Much better.
But that doesnât stop you from making âmistakesâ; little slips of the tongue â or the hand â that make his blood simmer and his eyes narrow, a jagged anger building in the periphery of your day-to-day.
Building and building, a monument that could touch God with the faux patience this man grants you â âOne last chance, Engel,â to hold back the monster clawing its way out of Königâs body.
Making König jealous or angering him ensures youâre the target of his reprehensible rage for the stretch of night ahead.
And when König snaps, he gets dominant.
Everything youâve used on him, he uses on you, too.
And he does so without mercy.
Every time heâs topping, heâs got you weeping, sobbing, screaming, begging for more and less at the same time â and more often than not absolutely speechless for the fact that your mind is completely empty by the time heâs halfway through with you.
Definitely degrades you. And he is not gentle with it at all.
âStupid little whore â filthy fucking slut ââ things of that nature.
Treats you as his personal cum dumpster; he just fills you and fills you until you look or sound as if youâre about to burst.
But alas, it matters little how much you tell König you âCanât take anymoreââ because heâll always find a way to make you take more of him.
âOh no, Sweetheart, you will take more,â heâll tell you.
âAfter all, what good are you to me if you canât handle my load ?â
The night usually ends with you being bruised and sore and swollen after your excursion with König; marks which hurt to the touch for days afterwards. A deterrent.
However, no matter how badly he roughs you up during your time together, he always makes sure to take care of you afterwards â of any needs, no matter how niche.
And as heâs tucking you into bed, your body unconscious, König hopes that nights like these remind you that you belong to him. And he to you.
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