#failure and being alone again and knowing that they probably did ruin everything forever and the master doesn't

[mysticallystilinski]

camping with stiles slow burn smut ?

sparks | s. stilinski x fem!reader | smut

summary: playing with fire is guaranteed to get you burnt, but in this situation you wouldn’t mind getting a little spicy.

warnings: swearing, slight angst, y/n being super sensitive and tons of smut

a/n: { first smut i’m posting on here, and it obvi has to be about stiles! hope you enjoy love <3 }

“NO NO NO HELL NO.” you exclaim while spotting the spider on the lower half of your sleeping bag. “there is absolutely no fucking way i’m going to sleep here tonight.” you yelled once again. “y/n, can you ever just shut the fuck up?” stiles exclaims. how about you shut the fuck up you fuck face. having the spend the night with stiles wasn’t ideal, but you thought you could work it out. seems to be that your idea was wrong, and you are going to curse yourself for the next 12 hours of your life.

“now who’s quiet?” stiles says with a sly smirk on his face. 11 hours 38 minutes. that is the amount of time until you are back in your nice and cozy bed in beacon hills. for now you are stuck up in the woods, with no cell service, and absolutely no way to get out of this seem to be bonding moment with stiles; set up by the pack in efforts to make you two get along. kira and scott have been planning it since the day you two met. that day was the beginning of the bickering of your ‘enemyship’ as lydia says.

“maybe i wouldn’t be so quiet, if it wasn’t for you always being so obnoxious.” you spit out. his face contorts into a seemingly frown until the brunette starts to wheeze. “you really thought you did something y/n.” he says without failure of his laugh. his laughter echoed the quiet woods and god did you want to kill him. 11 hours and 20 minutes. “please just leave me alone the rest of the trip, that’s something that would really help.” you say.

without effort, stiles made you upset once again. you don’t know if it was the intention or just a joke but damn did it really hurt. without saying anything else you head into your camping bag and shut the zipper as quick as you possibly can. it was embarrassing enough being on this trip with him, but for him to see you cry because of his words was a whole other thing. you sit in your camping bag and it seemed to be dead silent. finally, no stiles, and only 11 hours and 15 minutes left of this stupid fucking trip. being caught in your own thoughts didn’t help you realize that the camper has been opened once again and a seemingly apologetic stiles was on the other side.

“hey, i’m sorry for before, i didn’t mean to make you upset.” he said apologetically. that was really sweet; oh shut up it probably was one of his other jokes. “no it’s seriously fine, don’t worry about it.” you say with snide in your voice. “geez y/n, i didn’t mean anything by it, maybe you should stop being so sensitive by everything” while he whispers the last part. “oh my fucking god.. it’s not my fault i have to be stuck in here with you” you say as you stand up from your place on the hard ground. “you seriously always seem to be a dick around me, and i never did anything to you.” your voice starts to raise as his eyes lower upon onto you.

“it’s not my fault you’re like obsessed with me or something” he laughs. “jesus stiles. are you really that full of yourself?” you laugh back. your hands start the clench as the anger inside you builds up second by second. steam seems to be flowing out of you being his eyes start to widen as your voice heightens. “SERIOUSLY PLEASE STILES GET A FUCKING LIFE.” you retort. all that goes through your head is how much you hate ruin and wish you would have never agreed to this.

his mind was filled with other things, things like what positions he could take you in or how hot you seemed to be when you were mad. he wanted to just let you keep talking forever at that rate because of how much it turns him on. “can i show you how much i hate you?” you say trying to walk off. you were quickly shown that he didn’t want you to leave because you felt a heavy tug on your hand from his.

stiles pulled you into him and placed his soft lips onto yours. he kissed you with passion and lust, adoringly with poison. he just wanted to touch you, so that’s what he did. he placed his hands upon your ass, but you didn’t seem to mind as you kissed him back with as much lust as he did. it was inevitable, you two getting together. the pack spotted the tension from day one of meeting you; even if that tension was anger at first.

you pulled back, out of breath in attempt to say something, anything. you were about to scold stiles and ask what the hell he was doing but he pulled you right back in again. with no hesitation he pulled back and sat on the floor waiting for you to join him. he pulled off his dark red flannel and his undershirt in a slight struggle. you watched his attempt and chuckled, wow stiles still clumsy while trying to fuck me. you took the bottom of his shirt and lifted it above his head easily. he looked back up at you with lust and him being slightly out of breath from that action.

in attempts to keep the mood you slowly took of your tank top; just leaving you in nothing but a lace bra and your skirt. his breath staggered at the sight of you, so he took your hand and pulled you down onto his lap. he immediately looked into your eyes then pulled you in to kiss you. his hands daringly caressed your body in attempts to feel your every curve and crevice. don’t get it wrong, you loved making out with stiles but something just felt off. maybe it was the clothes still on you.

you stopped kissing him and lead his hands to the band of your skirt. you waited for him to pull it down but he didn’t get the cue; so you had to manually put his hands and pull down your skirt. he did it with ease, skillfully. “nice moves stilinski.” you huff out. he gradually stops pulling down your skirt to say “do you wanna do it yourself?”. “maybe i will.” you say. you place your hands onto the floor to get up but he pulls you back in and starts to finish what he was doing before.

this time your skirt comes off quickly with ease and no hesitation from the one doing it. you were left in just panties and your lacy bra. he threw your skirt on the other side of the camping bag and it left a thump in the quiet of night. you couldn’t help but feel so bare when he only has his shirt off so you had an idea. “stand up”, you say. he quickly gets up off the floor and stands on the hard ground. you slightly crawl over to him in attempts to get closer to his dirty jeans.

you take one hand and grip onto his belt and the other to undo it. you heard him breathe in sharply and quickly exhale as his belt buckle soon becomes undone. you see out of the corner of your eye, his hand running through his soft hair. you unbutton his pants and quickly pull them down to the bases of his ankles. you pull back away from him, signaling for him to finish the rest. he steps out of his pants and heads back to the ground in only his boxers.

you were quick to get back on top of him and start to kiss him. your mouth lands farther and farther from his mouth to his neck. you slightly suck on his pale neck in attempts to make love bites. stiles exhales in and out, trying to be quiet but you want him to show you how much he wants you. you unlatch from his skin, “show me how much you want me stiles.” he pushes you slightly off of him and turns you onto your back. his body presses against yours and you can feel his hard bulge through the thin layers of underwear.

his breath gets caught in his throat as he places his lips onto yours. he forces his body down yours as his lips get closer, and closer to your pussy. once he arrives, he pushes your body up in attempt to get your underwear off your body, and it works. he slides your panties off with ease. stiles discards them to the other side of the tent, and sets his eyes back onto you. his eyes begin the pulsate as he lowers his head towards your soaking wet cunt. in a quick second, with no hesitation he latched his rough lips onto your pussy. you gasped in a sharp breath out of shock as he dives his tongue around your throbbing clit. your thighs sucked his head in deeper as your begging moans made it clear he should continue.

“stiles please, oh my god,” you say in a quick breath. he hums to your cunt and you can feel the chuckle pulsate throughout your delicious body. his mind was focused on pleasing you, while yours was set on finishing. he made it clear, he wasn’t going to stop until you came on his face. your moans became louder as the slim boy devoured his way through your soaking wet folds and all around your pussy. he gripped on your ass for support as he began to go deeper and deeper. you felt as though this couldn’t get any better, and your high was approaching.

stiles unlatched from your pussy, “what the fuck stilinski?”, you yell; clearly out of breath from this devilish act. as soon as you were gonna retort again, he stuck a finger into you. you huffed out a loud sigh in release. he slowly pumped his long finger in and out of you. you could see his devilishly hot smirk on his face as he began to pump it faster. he soon added a second finger into the mix and went down on you once again. “stiles, please oh my god go deeper,” you moan out. stiles starts to go deeper with the two fingers, while his mouth works on your throbbing clit.

you feel your high begin to almost release as the fingers and tongue are enough to make you start to shake. “stil- stiles,” you say while being out of breath. your legs start to clench around his body as he continues to go at a fast pace. it drive you absolutely wild, at how good he was at this. your high was close to hitting, so when he stuck a third finger in you near close to screamt. you were a moaning mess, and very messy. stiles unlatched his mouth from your cunt and you say gleaming cum all over his face. “jesus y/n, you did so good,” he said while being out of breath.

he was such a sight, messy hair, and puppy dog eyes. “now it’s my turn for me to please you”, and without hesitation you pushed stiles onto his back and hovered against his boxers. you grabbed the waistband and started to pull them down to his ankles. you took his cock into your hand and started to slowly pump it. you took one finger and slid it across the tip. stiles huffed out in pleasure as you aligned the tip with your cunt and slowly lowered yourself down onto it. you felt him instantly fill you up. he soon was deep inside you, and it felt magical. you didn’t mind the slow thrust of stiles going deep inside you.

“oh my god y/n, you feel so good,” stiles has to exclaim. your cheeks began to be rosy by overstimulation, and the fact that he’s praising you. you began to force yourself to go deeper. he felt so good inside you. he wanted more, he began to thirst his hips deeper to gain the maximum amount in you. “stiles, i love how this feels,” you groan out. you felt his cock start to twitch inside, so you started to grind upon him. his moans began to be louder as you clenched yourself around his base. “y/n please, i’m about to cum,” and as soon as he said it you felt him unleash his load into you. at the very same time you began to convulse and feel your orgasm approach you once again. “stiles- oh my god,” you say. stiles felt the same amount of bliss you did in that very moment, and maybe even more. as soon as you approached your finish, you slowly got off of him and fell against the bottom of the floor.

“you good?”, he says calmly. “yes i’m so good”, you say slyly. 10 hours and 20 min. “so are we good y/l/n?”, he smirks. “very good,” you laugh. you seem to feel calm and safe around him suddenly. his smirk was just too cute and too hard not to kiss. you reached in again and placed your lips onto his. he smiled into the kiss and raveled his fingers into your hair. why do i have to feel this way about him. you pulled back from this kiss just to see his pretty smirk, and you did.

10 hours, maybe i should just go camping once again with stiles. i wouldn’t mind. even if he is a dick, i’d like to suck his for once.



[godzexperiment]

It wasn't like had many material objects; sentimental ones. Except for one. The scrap grabbed on the way out, not meant for him and or really anybody. Affectionately given the name, pinprick- once touched down on earth. Not as flashy some heavenly weapons were. Or as say multi functional longer blades, other weapons might act. Up close, personal quite literally if did use it. Probably some irony that was the item grabbed. Cherished object. Especially given no interest in needing it. ------------ One of the biggest thrills, second object to become cherished. Was a bag, thigh holster that strapped on. Could adjust and was beyond multiple functionality. Main excitement being could be tightly secured to Nix's leg. Which meant no impediment to flying. Sure it couldn't hold large objects. Or all that much. But didn't need many things anyways. Endurance testing- it didn't loosen or get lost doing all sorts of tricks in the air and going far too fast. All else was replaceable; give or take but the bag and pinprick- wouldn't be against making somebody miserable if tried to ruin the bag or steal either object. ------------- Unbothered by the concept of fashion. Lawless, ungovernable territory and nobody could try to instill such sentiment. It would likely just have the complete opposite result. As practical, durable were the main concerns and personal consideration too. Leeway was had, in being rather unable to resist things like rings and other accessorizing. Or the hobby of altering clothes that was obtained. Often just wearing all durable, black clothing and calling it good with mussed up hair untamed. Other times, say happening upon some really neon yellow jeans that fit.... Well those items joined the you couldn't pry this attire from my collection even if god willed it sort. -------------- Occupying that space; not alone but the presence was absentee. Disjointed, ranting and rambling per usual. Obviously one of the times where wasn't likely to seek out real conversation, or feedback. Which made it easier to turn the internal dial. Passively soak up the words being spoken. An session of the topic being humans, their failures and shortcomings. Nix only had to wonder how long it would go on for this occasion. Various thoughts expressed about how to try handling the problem this time. Meanwhile the angel just stayed settled in space was occupying. Twirling an charcoal pencil between fingers; passing from left to right and then backwards. "Unruly cats would be less troublesome." Words to drag the angel out of tuning out. Not the intention of them- just Nix's own nature. Yet no context was provided- to suggest if was about humans or angels. Toss away words to God- Nix would never forget them not just out of purpose but amusement. Were ever to get annoyed might reuse such words. --------------------- Planning for some event- chatter into the air and examining every factor verbally. Nix getting an odd side of history per usual. Including weighing, just what and why should involve which angels. Or not. Some of the why not were hilarious of the 'well last time tried smuggling an living hedgehog into heaven so we can't have that happen again' reasoning. Nix had no context, didn't know which time but could now forever know who had done such an thing. Sat there ever so carefully, quietly tending to his wings. Brief wonderment of what life would be like if wasn't created with this purpose. What words would have filled the air of the space about them... With nobody to listen or take note of them.

-------------- "What do you think?" It wasn't rhetorical; an trick and thusly more than one rare phenomenon. Nix abandoning what had been fiddling with- some random human puzzle thing. Permitted entertainment but clearly not important at the moment. Thinking over everything so far as glanced at the images being pondered about. "Honestly... that you should think it over some more?" No attachment to the images, nor the humans shown but knew that was the answer wanted. Hadn't listened to being unable to settle on wiping the settlement out for so long just to be like hey yeah go for it. Waiting- for either it to be poorly received or just fully ignored. Remarkably, came an huff that was likely in agreement. "I can ponder it over some more; before sorting it out." Never any follow up. Per usual, left and then returned with millions of other things to be said that never elaborated what went down. ----------------- (some d.ominion verses specific) Ever growing signs of boredom, abandonment on the horizon and less just hypothetical speaking. Tuning it out- had become the normal sequence of events. Who wanted to listen to their maker cursing creation, voicing grievances with angelic siblings you've never even met and so forth. Fascinating- tuning back in when it was seemingly about farewell gifts. Intrigue that couldn't be helped. Grumbling about twins; which set unspecified but sure was annoyed with them. Nix's eyebrows raised the whole time at every little snippet. "Might as well give the seal- not my problem if- that is settled then." Wanted elaboration, curiosity burning inside but just kept quiet. Listening, until there was nothing to listen to anymore. Countless angels, thought about verbally and Nix wasn't even acknowledged upon entry let alone in topic of abandonment gifts.

[thcscheis]

no comment

[aeempress]

Apritello Express Evidences, part 3

Apritello, my dear friends, is really all hints, devil in details, little pieces that, in the end, become a huge picture.

I can't say that there are a lot of episodes with April and Donnie spending quality time together, no. But all episodes are important to understand how their relationship are involving, growing. If you have sharp eyes and think about all of this even a little bit, you will be surprised how gracefully their relationship changes and grows, how characters evolve.

Dear passengers, we're about to start. Mind the gap!

Episodes “The Gumbus” and “Mrs. Cuddles”. 

I think it would be appropriate to analyze these episodes in bunch, because they have common situations of spooky supernatural stuff and reactions of characters to this.

When you watch these two eps in raw, it's easy to see how alike are reactions of Donnie and April in some scary, really odd situations. 

Adrenaline ‘n’ reclessness

April is really into all spooky things in “The Gumbus”, she's not afraid of some creepy stuff and she's really brave girl who easily copes with stressful and life-threatening situations.

Donnie is incredibly calm and collected when alive doll talked to him.

But still, April was frightened about plush rabbit because it was really unexpected for girl, she wasn’t ready to realize that plush doll that she’d worked with is alive fear-eating monster who will hurt and intimidate to get their precious screams. But point remains: Donnie and April share crazy fearlessness, which turns into an adrenaline addiction.

And here I am, a science guy, who tell you: adrenaline is a big deal for our body. This hormone can even provoke an onset of romantic feelings. Chemistry and anatomy come to fill the gaps: when a person is afraid, their pulse quickens, a cocktail of hormones is releasing into the blood, which sharpen the senses and reflexes. It will create a strong emotional bound, that's important for maintaining romantic kind of feelings. The more impressions there are (even negative ones), the higher the chance that person will remember his|her partner, and want to see them again – the body gets hooked on adrenaline, like a drug.

That’s why D&A have so strong, unshakeable boundaries. They are so alike: their attitude to scary things, the way Donnie and April cope with them, the adrenaline addiction their share. They even express feelings the same way.

And one tiny detail: April and Donnie start the teasing Raph for his fear of mrs. Cuddles. So they become the first victims of plushie.

Friendly reminder: they were the 1st victims, and what’s happened with them we don’t know, because it wasn’t shown due to not ruin the atmosphere of suspense.

But we have a beautiful quote of mrs. Cuddles and this precious shot which explain everything

Raph: Where’s Donnie?

Cuddles: In a happy place where he’ll scream and I can grow forever and now you’re gonna join him!

In a happy place, huh? Tied up with April in Splinter’s bedroom, a really happy place. Hold a sec, are they -

And after that Donnie’s responding is killing me.

Donnie:[OS] I'm afraid of togetherness.

Yep. All normal here. We should continue.

"Operation Normal" even though doesn't show a lot of interactions between April and Donnie, however continues the general outline highlighting the topics that were mentioned earlier in the show.

Firstly, April's relationship with her classmates. We're able to see how poor her scholar life is in "Hypno Part Deux" and "The Purple Jacket". She has no "normal", human friends except some strange remora guy, more like acquaintance than friend, though. But still, having "be normal" kick she's fine with Donnie's weirdness ( Mikey is always beyond all normal comprehension, Raph goes weird while he's alone, without brothers, and his fear of miss Cuddles is no big deal to fam, Leo didn't show any weird stuff during the series, like, reeeeal weird, m'kay?).

Conversation between April and Donnie at pizza spot

Really interesting and smooth scene. We’ve got Donatello who stares at April while he’s waiting his favourite pizza, no big deal.

And his legs.

If a person is interested in you, during a conversation, they will put their right foot forward (a left-handed person is more likely to put their left foot forward) in order to close the distance between you. - Check.

being in company, peson will point the sock at the most pleasant interlocutor for them. - check.

April’s legs are ponted at Donnie. Checkmate.

Yeah, April is hanging out with Donatello and Leonardo, but the main focus of hers is on Donnie. 

All these scene makes me think that Donnie, knowing about how badly sometimes April  wants to be normal, is up to help her overcome this. Fight fire with fire:  fill up her life with all of this weird, mystic stuff so it will be normal with time. Regular people go to pizza spot to spend some quality time together, so we have pizza restaraunt here, in Hidden City. Make all odd normal, and problem will solved.

Donnie really tries his best, look at his face. Dee’s fine with all this bizzare things what happens to April, he’s fine with her. But still he fails, because April’s concept of normalcy differs drom Donnie’s.

And again, for Donnie it’s not a problem at all. He’s always was at the opposite side of normalcy and it doesn’t matter for him if April is in the same boat with him. Cause, as I said, Don’s fine with that.

Second, how much Donnie knows about April.

- Scoff! Are you really still on this whole "I want things to be normal" kick?

- Yes, what big city girl doesn't have a kayak and has hazmat suit?

Interesting detail here: this line launches Donnie’s flashback (because the first scene is from “Purple Jacket”, it’s Dee’s episode, obviously). And Don, as far as I can tell, has in his flashback moments with April when she did something reaaally impressive. His face is way more louder than any words.

- Short answer: no. Long answer: nnooooooooo.

- Oh, no! You know how April freaks out around the cosplay wizards!

These tiny lines are containing a lot of background, stories, intimate conversations that April and Donnie share. This show always does the same trick: we never see a direct action, we are only able to see a result or statement of the result. But series do a great work telling us with such small and imperceptible gestures that their bonding at this point is mutual. Not only D tells April about his inventions, family and fam's issues he has and even his falls, mistakes and failures. April does the same thing, sharing with Donatello one of the most important things to her. Problem that really bothers her.

C'mon, he'd even memorized Sunita's name, though April messed up with this situation a bit. It seems Donnie memorizes facts about April - he remembered the wi-fi password from old April's work as we can see in "The Longest fight" (he could hack it easily, he's a genius, why he's been keeping in mind some piece information that useless for a year? It doesn't make any sense)

Oh, and that. Just a coincidence, I guess?

Just alike suits, no big deal. Plus, the whole family has it (and something tells me that guys have suits at the behest of Don, so probably April does). But Donnie and April has a lot in common like emotional expressions, reaction about some kind situations, fight style and even tastes in fashion.

Also, it seems like Donnie's been watching April for sometimes.

While Leo was hiding in trash can, to not catch anyone's eye rather than April. He definitely couldn't know who was passing by, but there was Donnie to observe from above. That's why he was hanging down the stairs when Leo spoke to April.

It’s not the first time Donnie dress up as old lady to monitor April’s day.

Leo: Why do you always make us dress up as old ladies? Donnie: №1: confort, №2: to blend in as we monitor April’s day for max normalcy.

 3. Even when D took away this cosplay wizard, he's still keeping eye on her.

Oh no, you don’t. Grandmas here!

Donatello changes his foe to save April exactly. He fought all evening with Brutus, but when April slightly gets in danger, Donnie just attacked anyone who has intention to hurt her and ruin her evening.

Is that a flying turtle in an old purple dress?

April, who all evening was trying to look “normal”, hiding her real friends because they are mutant turtles and pretending that nothing unusual happens here, finally gives up when Sunita mentioned Donnie. Even though new April’s friend has asked her before about Leo.

His eyes. 

Donnie is really impressed but what he saw, and the reason - April O'Neil.

The episode "Warren & Hypno, sitting in a Tree" is another incredible piece of whole picture.

Turtle tank is decorated for April birthday in purplish scheme, definetely Donatello's work.

Dee's nonverbal speech.

• He seems more interested and softer than usual looking at April. It's easy to say comparing him with brothers. Mikey is in anticipation of fun mode, Leo relaxed and show his "whatever it will be fun" attitude, Raph is listening carefully, but still, Donnie could just turn his head in April's vouce direction, not a whole body.

• Warren felt Don's gaze while talked with April, so worm made the remark. Pay attention to the construction of the frame of neighboring scenes. The second frame is April's perspective. And Don is looking namely at her.

Indignation. Disappointment. Spark, storm, madness (i love this russian meme, sorry not sorry)

• Donnie seems sincerely sorry for this situation with April's b-day. And again, this soft gaze and "Raph, shut the shell up, your nonsense is upsetting her"-eyes.

• Donatello is kind of person, who’s avoiding a proper confrontation, so he rarely stands up for someone.  He were remaining silent, when Raphael tried to cheer April in the most radiculous way, but when Hypno tried to play with April’s feelings, Donnie blew it. 

He’s obviously in wrath as D emote that expressively. Yeah, he had much on his plate at April’s birthday, but it’s her b-day on the line, not his pride.

Warren used April, playing with her fan feelings. Her idol betrayed her, she was locked up in a cage, and now we have Hypno who wants to use her again by pitting and pushing for her compassion, because, it’s obvious - boys would do everything she said. 

And Donnie tries to keep Hypno away from her, protect her feelings from another betrayal. 

As he’s already stated - “For you, anything”.

The show always tells us: if you wanna trigger Don, bring April in. 

Hypno tried to turn this thing around, Leo did the same in “Al be back”. 

If Hypno-tamus did that accidentally as he found out that April O’ Neil is a birthday girl, so her wishes that day were laws, Leo did it on purpuse.

Leo is good at manupulating and pulling some strings, plus he knows his twin as back of his hand. That’s why Leo mentioned April in the end as she was always the most powerful argument, the reason and motive for Donnie. At second he’s even panicked, but remained calm. He almost blew up his coolheaded image because of one certain girl in yellow.

• Donnie is really happy to present Warren's arm to April. He even holds it like a rare, priceless treasure. D is really proud of himself right now: he saved the day, after all. The emotional reaction of hers is exactly what Donnie wants to get. And then, his final pose, while April is on 9th cloud from happiness - that's really territorial gesture, D claims his supremacy and confidence, telling "See? That's my happy birthday girl".

Leapfrog with a composition

Donnie and April are more and more eager to be together in the frame. Composition’s boners, m’kay.

Special ride for April

Yeah, Donnie used to offer his battleshell to give April a special ride. It even has  a seat and handlebars for her comfort. She can control the flight as well as Donatello, they are like co-pilots. But he never carried her on his back before.

Usually, April is carried by Raphael, on his neck/shoulder, and she’s fine with it. Raph is strong enough to carry her without any difficulties or slowing down.

It’s not Donnie’s weak to carry her - no, he strong enough to carry his battleshell with a lot stuff in it everyday, Don can carry Splints on his shoulder without any apparent difficulty. He strong enough to hold the weight of his battleshell+April. Oh, c’mon, D assembled the Turtle tank only by himself and this for sure requires a lot of physical strength in order to engage in auto mechanics. Try lifting the wheel with tyre, and you'll see what I mean. Of course, there is a jack, but it will not solve all the problems. Don could use hydraulics and Archimedes ' laws, but I'm sure he did most of it with his own hands. Lifting and carrying, all by himself.

Not the strengh what’s matter but another point.

The sequence where Donnie carries April on his back doesn’t last long, it’s pretty easy to miss, while Raph openly do that with April on him. 

Plus April’s gaze: she’s staring right at us with her “ninja-eyes” as if they were caught in the middle of something. The duration and length of the sequence, the way it is made all of this arouse certain thoughts. 

It’s like nobody should see this. Too personal. To be more specific - too close and intimate? 

Donnie stated a few times that he’s not into togetherness, tactile interaction and phisical side of contacts. Although he's fine with his brothers, don't forget that April is a girl. Even if she feels like part of family, she’s not his relative. She’s not his sister. 

Some people tend to avoid physical contact with the objects of their interest. And this behaviour fits in Don’s character. He’s anxious type with a lot of psychological and emotional issues. Yeah, he tries to cover it up, built a shell to protect himself, behave as confident extravert but he’s nothing like that. Sometimes D tends to distance himself from his family, to hide in his shell, and we've seen that throughout the show. 

Don hangs by his phone quite often, he addicted to this as his comfort zone, his peaceful cave, where everything is much easier,

Don pretends he’s so busy with his science stuff to ward off his brothers (ep. Mind Meld), 

Don went to the lab to work on his projects, while he could hang out with April and the brothers (ep. Mrs. Cuddles). And he left for what? To work on self-cleaning tooth pick, or the titan bust of himself? It’s seems like lame excuse to be alone. He’s definetely an intovert, who sometimes needs some space and time with himself. 

All his cocky behaviour is showing off to hide insecure, diffident and vulnerable creature, softshell purple turtle. Yeah, Donnie has confidence in what he’s great in: tech, science stuff, where he’s only one is capable of. But if someone steps on his domain or doubts his authority, his true colours exposed.

And, once again, “Mind meld” is a great evidence of that. Would callous, unsumpathetic guy without heart have a wall with pictures of his fellows? I’m afraid not. Donnie has a soft, caring heart.

There’s an alley of his the dearest moments, because photos - are always memory, precious moments we want to keep. 

1 - from “Minotaur Maze”. Don loves good pizza, loves his brothers, and they have a little adventure together. Yeah, this photo isn’t on champ wall, but still.

2 - from “Mascot melee”. Important day for bros as they show themselves to people at daylight to rescue Raph and their operation to buy a new robe for his father. It’s their joint brothers dance, and D is loving to dance, remember? Definetely special occasion.

3 - from “Mascot melee”. Splints was really glad to receive a gift from boys. And Donatello, as we know, is always eager to achive for pop’s approval. This for sure must be in his precious moments collection.

5, 7 - from “Donnie’s gifts”. He even keeps a dorky photo, which Raph uses as profile pic at Donnie’s number.

8, 9 - “Down with the sickness”. It was funny to survive all the 7 stages to achive what boys wanted. They failed, but still.

10 - from “Al be back”. Who knows that Splints is so good at singing?

4, 6 - from “The Fast and the Furriest”. Strange choice, cuz, you know, photos ten seconds before his collision with April bat?

And yeah, he HAS April’s photo here. And at this pic it’s April, and April alone,without his brothers. 

Don’s a real softie, see?

And avoiding physical contact is a way to protect Donnie’s already shattered self-esteem. To not cause any doubts in front of girl which he’s interested in. That’s possible reason why we did not receive any heartwarming hugs in “The Purple Jacket”.

But Donnie carries April, because it’s her birthday. On the one hand, the girl claims that  her b-day is cursed, and Donnie could, by any chance, do something nice for her, and on the other hand - any request of the bithday girl - is the law, as we could see earlier.

Gift for birthday girl

There is no Donnie in the scene after Draxum throw off Warren's arm. While Raph comfort April about her birthday, Donnie was looking for it to present it to April.

He knows the best what is the most precious gift for her. Warren Stone, her idol, goat of making news; she have been in Stoneheads fanclub for 9 years. Also, it seems that Donnie is the one of turtles, who collected info about this worm.

Also, he stopped immediately when April stepped between them and show no disappointing (remind you about Donnie's sadistic science guy nature). The reason is April.

And another cute detail: their glasses are the same form.

Another episode "Mystic library" has slightly touched D&A interaction. But were talking about Apritello, it's all hints but quality.

When Mayham trapped in the mirror and Raph, Leo and Mikey obviously are not coping, April decides to call Donnie to clear situation up.

Donnie, mister "I ruin everything", she's going to call for help. I repeat this. April calls for help Mr. Science to solve mystic problems with her pet. MYSTIC PET.

 And he AGREES.

Turtles dissuade their friend from calling Donatello but after a while, April returns with Donnie, and sees the bathroom in ruins.

I'm gonna clear this moment.

1. April haven’t called Donnie.

2. Some time later she returns with Dee.

3. Our girl is pretty shocked to see her bathroom in ruins, argo she didn't see/hear Raph chose to solve problem with smashing.

It must mean only ine thing: April went for Donnie by herself. We don't know where was he, we don't know what the reason April brought Donnie with her by herself, 'cause we know that if she call Dee, he will definitely get to her immediately.

Something is definetely off.

By the way, April changed Don’s profile pic.Yeah, the first one is very informative since Donnie is a turtle and he’s purple and he has bandana. Seems like April have done it by herself, editing the photo of real turtle. She didn't put a lot of effort into this, this image doesn't show her real attitude towards Don. But second is more personality-tinged. Sleeping Donatello in all his gear - this detail can tell us about only one thing - he was photographed when he fell asleep after his sleepless night(s) working hard at something - is something she can catch or receive by boys (namely speaking, it’s Leo, according to Ben Schwartz stated in an interview, that if Leo had an Instagram account, that 60 to 70% of his photos would be his brothers caught sleeping or slipping on things). And still. April has a dorky and little embarrassing pic of Donatello and this is... Interesting and cute?

This profile pic remind me about ROTTMNT: Sound off! (2nd issue)

The next station is “The Purple Game”.

Another episode in which the interaction of the characters is small in timing, but great in content.

And once again: they have a lot in common. I’d never tired of repeating this thing ‘cause the series do the same trick, showing one thing from different points of view. April and April shares the same taste in games, the same attitude, the same mojo. 

But the most important thing here is how D&A interacrions are shown in this episode. Unlike other episodes, the interaction here is indirect, is provided by gaming.

Their customized avatars reflects their personality. I mean, the colour schemes (though Donatello has never shown any interest in yellow, he used it for customization of his persona), the way their avatars looking. Game even refering to Sherlock_Corn as “she”, albeit it’s impossible to refer to her avatar in female pronoun. Because, you know, design and nickname?

And the in-game interaction of the avatars resembles D&A irl relationships. Bootyyyshaker 9000 don’t like togetherness, he’s looking like Donnie’s expectation of himself (cool and tough guy, as D sees himself in his own dreams)

Their dialogue

Actually. Actually, Donnie and April are not able to hear each other as game has no voice chat, but their lines make an perfect dialogue nevertheless.

April:Bootyshaker9000? Donnie? 

Donnie:April? You’re the last person I need to destroy to achive rank №1!

April:Ditto!

Both:There can only be one!

Donnie said the cheat combination, so April would know for sure what he is supposed to do, but she has no idea.

So, once again: their sync is incredible.

And can we talk about that?

April’s attack

As it seems, attacks may be customized by players. Bootyyshaker has attack that refers at Donatello main feature - superior intellect.

And this attack isn’t effective, because REAL April O’Neil has a resist towards it. She has known D for years, she knows what he’s capable of, she’s aware of his nerd side. April’s immune to it, so Sherlock_Corn is.

 Sherlock_corn has a default attack - kernel cannon. It’s nod to her nickname: kernel, corn, the same book. But her second atteck is something reflecting her personalitiy. Plus, April is aware of Donnie’s “fear” of togetherness. All’s fair in love and war, right?

April took a lot of BS9000 hp by her “friendly hugs”. And, by the way, his sweet reaction for hugs.

So:

The selection of the final opponent. It might be literally anyone, but we wouldn’t be able to see Dee’s obsession in that case. Yeah, he’s already had a  demon possesion ™, but it was too easy to him to win. No challenge. No “kill or be killed”, “It’s me or you” mojo.  He needed some tough gamer for challenging, to develop his character, push him too far. And  April, actually, is an excellent choice to reveal the character of certain purple turtle.To expose his true colours. And April do a great job: they know each other, so battle will be spicy, they are both compepitors, they are so alike, so it would be intersting to watch Donatello vs April. And it will, ‘cause In-game April and In-game Don is somewhat different than them usual.

April is Don’s slayer for sure. She’s good at gaming, her last attack was almost fatal for him. So he had to to cheated on her. 

Captain Cuddlecakes. Yes, she know about his afraid of togetherness. And there’s lovey-dovey attack animation with this cuddling and Donatello’s persona behaves like him. And it was SPECIAL RUN, so... I haven’t the foggiest why. Cute detail, I mean.

Just look at it.  Isn’t it cute?(at least we got their hugs somewhere... kinda. kinda.)

“Snow Day“, albeit  being family episode, shows a lot about D&A relationship through “family war”.

First of all, the same taste in films.   

Donnie’s already shown the same attitude to fashion, scary things as Cap O'Neil, April shares the same gamer’s mojo as Donatello, but now? We have Donnie and April that are loving the same movie.

For love of purple supernovas, of all the Jupiter Jim’s movies (and there are more than 60 of them), that's a convinient coincidence, they like the same movie.

It stated in series several times that Dee is fond of Atomic Lass. He had crush on her when he was child, he admires her by all his heart, so it will make sense if films with this character he would be his favourite. It’s logical, isn’t it?

Atomic Lass, even if she is part of JJ-universe, however, isn't in every movie. Leo described "JJ: Pluto vacation IV" and there is no sights of Atomic Lass. Like, at all. 

Nevertheless, April’s claimed that “PV-4” is the best movie of the time, and Don agrees. 

April:What the whaaaat? Hold up, Skip. “Jupiter Jim Pluto Vacation 4″ is the best JJ movie  of all time.

Donnie:Ranked, by us, just now. So it’s basically official, no arguing.

And they do this thing again. Reflecting each other. Facial expressions, intonations, poses and etc. Haven’t I mentiones that? Mirroring is natural way to build communication. People, who communicate enthusiastically, who have sympathy to each other, feelings of certain nature, unconsciously copy each other's poses.

Direct reflection and close contact have a strong effect. This is used between lovers, people with close relationships or interested in each other.

And you can see that during not only episode, but through the whole series. 

Poses, gestures, facial expressions they share constantly. Even if they are apart, they are mirroring each other, showing their bound. Because Apritello is not always about sitting close, holding hands and blushing. Apritello is about staying together even if they are not.  It’s about solid foundation, about synergy, about chemistry Donnie and April share. And all of these are not always so obvious and clear, evident. But so realistic nevertheless.

And that’s why they splitted off the fam - they are too close and alike. 

I stated it before but DonniexApril team is way more effective than Donniexbrothers team. Donatello and April are equal, worth each other. They are comfortable with each other, their teamwork is amazing. 

They are always near, close to each other for the entire episode. Stand up for each other, side by side. They have no need to do team-building, because their sincronization is incredible. April works well together with Donnie, their skills compliment each other. 

I love that April in a first place look at Donnie to check is everything alright.

And a cherry on top?

This inviting gesture. Donnie just watched all along how his brothers and April try to throw some cold water on this situation (khem, it slipped). But when April call him with this inviting gesture, he’d like to help. 

In other words, he was waitng when April requests for his help.    

Composition’s boners

Sometimes it happens during the show, but this episode beat hte score at this point. I say only one word: physics. Or, more precisely, the force of attraction. Or, maybe Mayham.

... Anyway.

Fitting in the type

April can play not so nice against her enemies, she got steady hand and meanness, merciless and reclessness. She’s passionate and kinda badass, sassy - in a positive way, she’s baddest girl who can kick your butt if you mess with her, and she really good at this. 

She has a fire, and Donnie likes that. Dee never stated that directly but miss O’Neil impressed him so many times and in different way so it’s kinda pretty obvious. 

Just look how Donatello reacted the way April took Raph down a peg. Her actions are elegant, relaxed but really sly. She almost dare Raph to put his flag on top only to bring him down to Earth in really painful way. She destroyed Bros’ team so easily just by waiting a bit and by calling Mayham. 

She’s definetely got some pepper.

Pretty cute but baddest, don’t you think?

And Donnie was impressed for sure, he admitted it - “That is fun for me”. He don’t even stand a chance, c’mon: she’s smarass and elegant, she can be mean and cute at the same time. 

Even though that’s it for season 1 analysis (the last series is more appropriate  to review as part of 2nd season, plus it was a reaally big post, I need some time)

You can refresh this whole situation in the car 1 and the car 2 or follow the hashtag #apritello express as you please. It’s a pleasure of mine, keep in touch :)

[kaijurakunsobs]

Seeds

remember guys! you can ask me to tag them on future updates

Summary: The idea of a soulmate is well known, they will come to you one day, either as a lover or a friend. A single bond made of invisible thread is what will let you feel their emotions, joys and worries, to experience their pain and for them to feel yours.

But beware, for not all blessed unions are meant to be, if you were to hate and push them away, a slow death shall consume them and a garden will bloom within their chest, the flowers will fight and push to feel the sun from the outside, a poetic dead of a broken lover. A beautiful dead for your hollow existence.

You know that your mother was never a good person, or so you have been told.

Miranda meet her when she came from the city to the village, four months pregnant and with the false story of being “sick”, her sickness? She decided to cheat on her rich husband and she wanted to have you away from prying eyes and possibly abandon you here. Your birth giver was upfront about how "Having a bastard could ruin my lifestyle!", Mother Miranda smiled sweetly and had Alcina give your mother refugee and help during the birth, the Lady agreed and housed the woman.

On the night of your birth, Alcina held you in her arms, begging Miranda to let her keep you, but she denied. You were hers and hers alone.

As for your mother? Only Miranda knows what happened to her, but you suspect, that her body is buried somewhere in the forest, alone and forgotten, you couldn’t care any less.

Miranda was the one to raise you, to love you, the one who would be there when you were sick, to kiss your tears away when nightmares woke you up. She was the one to break your body apart and scream in our face how much of a failure you were, just like Alcina or Donna or those pesky lycans running amok outside, but within your failure, she saw minimal success, you were quick to learn how to care for her experiments, which were the signs of cadou rejection and how to treat it, at least, you could be useful until she placed you in the mansion the villagers were building for you.

You have seen so many people been brought to the lab, so many lives being taken for a selfish reason, that you grew numb, there was no anger or pain, you felt no grief when the test subjects saw you and begged for help, you did nothing for there was nothing inside you.

You are surprised when Miranda begins to show interest in a kid, you know he was brought here years ago and somehow had managed to survive the horrors your mother put him through. Interest grew into an obsession and then into pride, hope, you will forever remember how hard Miranda screamed when her golden child came out a failure too, cursing at the skies and asking why? He had been so close to being her perfect little boy and he turned out to be yet another fuck up.

But she doesn’t throw him away, her favoritism shows when she moved him from the medical area into a room in her private chambers, never allowing you to go close to him, slapping you and kicking up a storm whenever she saw you too close to his door, even if you were passing by. But you never resent him, you can’t hate him or her, all you can do is nod and go away.

But curiosity is something hard to get rid of, and so you waited for days almost a month until Mother left to meet up with Alcina, using the moment to sneak into his room. A beautiful room, compared to yours, he had a big bed with a canopy, the thick curtains prevent you from seeing him, it feels like a fairy tale when you part the curtain to peer inside.

Truly like a fairy tale...a beautiful boy lays there, his golden hair is going gray, probably out of stress. He has a couple of scars on his face and some new ones on his arms. You feel like reaching inside and kiss him to break the spell, but it feels...wrong, like if you could tarnish him even further by touching him, like if your mother would appear and toss you aside for laying one of your dirty hands on his skin. No matter how bad you wish to be his Knight and save him, the terror you feel over defying Mother Miranda’s orders makes you stay still.

And then, it happened.

It began as an agonizing stab in your chest, it made you trip backwards painfully slamming your head against the wall, gasping for air when the pain as a needle began to pierce through you slowly making its way to your heart, a pitiful sob left your mouth, rendering you useless while your body overcomes the initial discomfort. It takes all of your willpower to get straight and look up at the ceiling through your tears, the light it's blinding and it leaves you dizzy, almost ready to empty your stomach.

Karl Heisenberg, age eleven, lays on his luxurious-looking bed, his entire body shakes painfully, breaking through his mouth, and the fever that's racking his body is the only thing keeping him from noticing that, his soulmate is standing a couple of steps away from his bed.

But how do you even know this?

Because Miranda told you about the concept of someone blindingly loving you for all eternity, who would be your other half and the missing piece to your broken existence, Dimitrescu once said that those stories were silly little fantasies, that love should be won over and one should prove to be the right person for someone else and not just have it “hand it over��.

You used to dream of the day you would feel the connection between yourself and another person, of being able to experience their joy when their eyes fell on you. But this is far from what you wanted, what you always wished for! All you can feel is pain, radiating from so many places in your body, rendering you useless, overwhelmed with anger, grief, sorrow for “yourself”.

Everything quickly piles up, so consumed by what Karl is feeling that you don’t hear the tray that falls and the porcelain plates that shatter, you vaguely register the sting of Miranda slapping you and the distant sound of her screams.

She drags you out of the room and into the cold world outside her home, across the heartless forest and you wonder...if you might end up like your mother, buried under some tree to be forgotten. But Miranda keeps walking until she throws you at the feet of Lady Dimitrescu, speaking to the tall woman and leaving you under her care, forever.

When you were younger, you used to fear the Lady. She was imposing and so strong, a self-made matriarch, but she's so careful when helping you up and guiding you through her beautiful home, her hands are so kind when she helps you to undress and sit in the tub filled with warm water, racking her fingers through your messy hair...so this is what a mother truly is like?

She only leaves you alone when she goes to fetch anything you could wear, looking displeased when she hands you a maid's uniform "We must send for the seamstress, I cannot have you wearing those shabby clothes" that, for some reason gets you to smile.

Later, her movements are soft as she runs a brush through your hair, the fire makes the wood crack and explode, filling the room with a nice warmth, something you never lacked off but that never truly permeated your body.

"Y/N, care to explain why mother Miranda was so angry, earlier?" you hear the concern in her voice, a bit of worry hidden in a stern tone.

Alcina can see you shrink a bit, as if ashamed of what you had done “I saw the kid mother keeps in her chambers” it comes out like a whisper, scared of Miranda appearing at that moment to slap you again “I think he’s my soul mate, Alcina!”

Lady Dimitrescu chuckles lightly and smiles when you turn around to look at her ”Your soul mate, some dirty man-thing? Oh my sweet girl I hope it isn’t real and you were just revolted by the sight of a man!”

“But I felt his pain and his emotions...it was scary, but maybe he will love me!”

“Just because you can feel what he feels, doesn’t mean everything will be alright. That’s why those romances are so volatile, darling! There’s no real reason for them to work beyond being stubborn and tell yourself that it will work out” the lady is classy and gracious in her movements as she poured herself another glass of wine “That the other person at the end of your bond will fall to their knees the moment they see you, but in reality, they might resent your sole existence and end up killing you!”

“Killing me?” that comes as a surprise, you have never heard of this.

“Yes...a cruel and unjust dead” Alcina brings you to her lap letting one of her hands spread over your small chest with a sorrowful look on her face “Your lungs will get infested with flowers, a bouquet of throe will bloom within your body, each day the garden will grow and fight to see the sun beyond your mouth and it will rob you of all air and kill you in no time”

She sees you wonder about it, a million questions that you wish to ask, everything falling apart when her curious daughters come into the room, moved by the rumors some maids had shared about their mother adopting another child. All too eager to know their new sister.

After that day, the topic is never brought up.

You grow and learn everything under Alcina’s guidance, the woman is hellbent on making a lady out of you. She teaches you how to read and write, about math and how to sing, applauding when you show her the gift the cadou in your stomach gave you, Midas' touch.

Her daughters and your self-appointed sisters, all laugh and joke around you, treat you like if you were another human when you are no different from their mother, another failed creation, a remainder that Miranda was cursed to not have what she wants. But the love of your little family drowns those thoughts, leaving the happiness of your existence in a nice home and the ever-presence of pain and resentment in the back of your head.

As you grow you notice, each cut and wound that leaves a scar on your skin turns to gold when made by you, but looks as pale lines when made by Heisenberg. You can’t help but laugh when the idea of being a piece of pottery repaired via kintsugi pops in your head, and for a moment you ask yourself if Heisenberg also has golden scars to match yours?

You cry the day when you finally leave the castle, trying hard to convey your love for your mother and sisters with hugs and kisses, in low whispers, promises of coming over as much as you can. The Lady kisses your forehead and sends you off with some final words of advice.

"Never lower your head and always do your best, remember you have us and we would never let you fall"

You are eighteen when you become the miracle worker of the village, crafting medicines with alchemy, signing at the church when the congregation asks you to, turning anything into gold with your touch, smiling with grace, and claiming to have been blessed with a precious gift by Mother Miranda to help the poor and keep the village off absolute agony. In the end, everything tastes like vile and ash, the forced smiles and the sweet tone of your voice make you gang behind the long veil that covers your face.

The days when you sing at the church, are the only ones when you can feel all his hatred directed at you, each painful stab making your eyes tear, yet you keep on making the people happy with hymns crafted before you were even born. If you could let him feel how similar your anger for Miranda is, perhaps the pain in your chest would dissipate, but you can't because you are hollow.

Among the villagers you are Lady Y/N L/N, the golden touch child, you are adored and blindly loved, Miranda smiles radiantly whenever she hears nothing but good words from her cattle, how much they dote on you, ready to serve without a thought, the eagerness to work under you. You may have been a failed vessel but you are a success as a flycatcher, bringing the sheep down to the slaughterhouse to be sent to the other Lords.

On meeting day, the pain and emotions that you feel seem to amplify the closer you are to Heisenberg.

As you sit beside your adoptive mother, your smaller hand in hers, while Mother Miranda speaks and praises each one of her children, lingering a bit too much on her golden child. The pressure in your chest grows, it feels like when you submerge in the tub as if your lungs were being crushed under an invisible force, ready to cough and gasp for air.

Across from you, he sits, posture closed and annoyed beyond belief when Miranda asks him to stay a bit longer after the meeting is done, you feel relief when Lady Dimitrescu gets up, opting to ignore Heisenberg in favor of bringing you back to the castle for your scheduled visit.

You two aren't even halfway through your journey back when you notice you are missing something, a small gift for today's reunion, a bag of fine jasmine tea.

"Mother, I need to get back. It seems I misplaced something, you go ahead!"

There's no time for Alcina to respond before you volt back to the church, the soft lace of your veil beautifully flying behind your hurried steps, slowly dropping your speed the closer you get to the entrance of the building, from it you can see Miranda, she as shed her mask off and is touching Heisenberg's face the way you have seen brides or wives touch their husbands' faces.

A pulse of repugnance and despise make you stumble back, pressing your back against the outer wall, it feels like the first time you met him, it's blinding and leaves you disoriented for a second, a hand flies up to your mouth when a wave of nausea hits you. He's not only pissed, he feels filthy and is suppressing a murderous intent behind a mask of indifference.

The sensation grows and grows until it's crushing you. One look up and you see him standing before you, a hand caging you between him and pillar.

"What are you doing here, freak? The tall bitch sent you to spy on me? tell her to fuck off" this isn't the first time you hear his voice, but it feels like it, even if his words are filled with malice, they taste like bitter wine for you.

"NO!...I mean...no, Lord Heisenberg. I came back because I lost something, a small bag"

"So you are afraid the dog stole from you, are you calling me a thief?" your mouth opens to explain to him once more, but the burly man only growls and steps away "Think whatever you want, I can't care any less for whatever the scum thinks of me"

Later, in the solitude of your home, you will call yourself an idiot, asking yourself why you reached for his empty hand when he turned around ready to leave, why you didn't revealed who you were, why you didn't cried when the man slammed your body against the wall.

"DON'T YOU DARE TO TOUCH ME, BITCH!" Heisenberg's tobacco infused breath hits your face, the painful stab of hatred felt like if your body were being torn apart "I CAN'T STAND PEOPLE LIKE YOU, YOU MAKE SICK!"

This time, when he turns around to leave, you don't reach out, you stay there, gasping for hair and coughing like if you were drowning, a slick sensation in your throat makes you gag and cough harder than before, both of your hands are cupped over your mouth, scared at the idea of throwing up.

Thank God you don't.

The moment passes and your body calms down, but your eyes grow wide when you see what made you gag.

A single yellow carnation petal covered in spit rests between your hands.

-----

Yelow Carnation: rejection and disdain

tag list: @happygalaxymilkshake @mightybeeb @kittyb2000

[melzula]

Obstacles

~ part of the fire lilies series ~

requests: Could you write a Fire Lilies blurb where Zuko struggles with how to approach being around Princess Reader when she avoids him and/or gives him the silent treatment? // Hi- I was wondering if you could write a fire lillies blurb where, when the gaang first starts interacts with zuko, they are more protective of the reader. Simply because they know the history between the two.

a/n: the format of this is a little different than how I normally write but I think it works :)

Though Zuko had finally become a part of Team Avatar, he still found himself to be the odd one out of the group. From Katara’s cold glare to Sokka’s reluctance of being left alone with the prince, Zuko struggled to find his place amongst the group. It was odd and new and strange, but at least it was a start in the right direction, and his first step included mending things with the Princess. He had gotten her to fall in love with him once, so it couldn’t be that hard to do it again, right?

In truth, it was very hard. Zuko faced many obstacles and many set backs, and it would probably be some time before she even so much as looked at him, let alone forgave him...

~~~

Katara

Zuko watched from afar as the Princess handled her chores for the day, sitting peacefully by the fountain as she washed the clothes. Her movements were delicate but precise, the water flowing smoothly through the dirt and the grime collected on Toph’s green robes, and a faint smile graced her features as she hummed softly through the work. She was at peace and completely relaxed, more relaxed than Zuko had ever seen y/n in years. Even in Ba Sing Se there had always been a nervous edge to her, an edge she did her best to hide from Zuko, and she had almost been completely rid of it until the caves. He cringed at the thought, guilt overcoming him at the fact that she seemed so much better off without him.

“What are you doing?” Katara scowls accusingly, startling the Prince from his silent watch over y/n.

“I-“

“Y/N’s been really happy ever since she left you, and you’re crazy if you think I’m going to let you ruin that for her,” the water bender scolds harshly.

“I just want to apologize to her,” Zuko replies calmly, but Katara isn’t having it.

“A simple apology is never going to fix all the ways you’ve hurt her. Y/n deserves better, and if I ever see you make her upset or uncomfortable I won’t hesitate to step in.”

Zuko says nothing as Katara stalks away, he knows better than to get in her way when she’s angry, and when her retreating form finally disappears he looks back at the fountain.

The clothes have been washed, and the Princess is gone.

~~~

Sokka

The smell of stew was heavenly to Zuko’s rumbling tummy, and he was eager to join everyone by the fireside. Bowls had been served, seats had been chosen, and an empty spot beside the Princess was his for the taking.

“Excuse me, buddy,” Sokka chirps, patting Zuko heartily on the back before quickly sitting himself beside y/n. She smiles softly at the water tribe boy and offers him her leftovers to which he happily accepts.

Zuko deflates, choosing to sit next to Aang and enjoy his stew of failure. This isn’t the first time this has happened, and it probably won’t be the last. He knew Sokka was just protecting her, and he couldn’t be mad at him for that. Sokka had probably done more for y/n in her time with him than Zuko had ever done, who was he to blame his protectiveness?

Y/n offers to take the empty dishes to wash, and as Zuko attempts to follow after her his path is quickly blocked by Sokka.

“Listen, I know you’re trying to make things right, and while I respect that, y/n’s asked me to keep you away from her,” he explains as gently as he can. “It’s nothing personal, but I care about her and I want to make sure she feels comfortable.”

“Oh... I understand,” Zuko utters quietly. “Will you at least tell her that I love her?”

“...I’ll do my best,” Sokka replies solemnly, watching with a pang of guilt as Zuko retreats to his room for the night.

~~~

Aang

“What am I supposed to do?” Zuko groans whilst tugging at his hair.

“You know I’m a firm believer in peace, and I do think that neither of you will be happy until your issues are resolved,” Aang comments wisely. “But I also think you should never force anything. Y/n will come around in her own time when she’s ready.”

“But that could take forever!” He protests. “I’ve already been away from her long enough, and being near her but not being able to speak to her is torture.”

Both boys turn their gazes towards y/n in the distance where she carefully brush Appa’s hair and talk to him about his day. The sight is very Princess like, which is fitting since she is a Princess after all, but the sweetness of it all makes Zuko’s heart ache with longing.

“What you did wasn’t right,” Aang sighs. “And she’s still healing. But, if she truly couldn’t stand you then she wouldn’t have given her blessing to let you stay.”

“She only let me stay so I could train you,” Zuko argues.

“Okay, that’s true. But she also washes your clothes, serves you dinner, and just the other day I saw her mending a hole in your boot. She won’t talk to you, but she does still care.”

“She’s always had such a big heart,” he murmurs dejectedly. “Back when I was still hunting you y/n always went out of her way to take care of me even if I didn’t want it. I was a fool to take her for granted.”

“I really do think you guys will work it out. Just don’t force anything, and you’ll be fine,” Aang comforts, and the two continue to watch the Princess as she tends to Appa.

~~~

Toph

With a bouquet of wild flowers in hand and his hair combed in that same horrid style his Uncle had given him back in Ba Sing Se, Zuko headed to her room in hopes of finally talking to the Princess. He knew how much y/n loved flowers, and he also knew how much she loved that ridiculously dorky hairstyle, so he hoped that the two combined together would at least earn him a smile in return.

But when he arrived to her part of the temple he found that her door was barricaded with a smooth slab of rock, and sitting a few feet away from said rock was Toph. The little girl sat leaning against the wall, legs crossed over each other and hands folded behind her head.

“Sorry, sparky, boss’s orders,” she explains with a small shrug, and Zuko deflates. “Personally I think she just needs to man up and face you, but until then I’ve been put under strict orders not to let you in.”

“She really hates me, doesn’t she?” Zuko sighs, joining Toph against the wall. The flowers in his hand are beginning to droop from the lack of water, much like his demeanor from his lack of y/n.

“No, but she’s very angry,” Toph corrects. “Really sad, too. Sokka’s already been in there three times tonight.”

“Are they...?”

“Together? He wishes,” the girl scoffs. “His heartbeat picks up a beat or two sometimes when he’s with her, but he’d never make a move on her. Not when she’s so upset and he’s the only one she can talk to.”

“Yeah, well maybe they should be together,” Zuko grumbles, the flower stems charring in his hands from the sudden heat that emits from his palms. “They’re both water tribe and he obviously takes care of her better than I ever could.”

“That’s true,” Toph nods much to Zuko’s dismay. “But she doesn’t love Sokka. She loves you.”

“Loved,” Zuko corrects only for Toph to roll her eyes.

“You dunderhead,” she mutters before punching him in the shoulder. “I should just knock your heads together and make you kiss and make up right now.”

“Can you do that?” Zuko asks hopefully only to receive another punch from Toph.

“You sure do have a lot to learn, sparky.”

~~~

The Princess

The morning is quiet and calm as you rise with the sun, heading out to collect the dew on the plants of the temple so that you may use it as water for your group. Other than Momo, who sits comfortably on your shoulders, everyone is asleep, giving you some time to decompress and enjoy the solitude of the rising sun.

“Anything I can help with?”

Or so you thought. Of course Zuko would approach you now when there was no one to keep him away from you. You say nothing in response, refusing to even look at him as you set down your bucket and begin to remove the dew from the leaves.

“Y/n, please talk to me,” he begs. “Let me make it better.”

Zuko is met with silence and an eye roll. Momo chitters curiously at the Princess, receiving a head scratch in return which is more than Zuko can say.

“I never stopped thinking of you,” he says. “And I wish I could take back everything I’ve done to hurt you.”

“I don’t want your apologies,” you utter quietly. “I want you to go away.”

Hearing your voice after being met with silence for so long brings the boy to tears, and with a hesitant demeanor Zuko reaches out for you. However, at the sight of the water glowing your palms the Prince takes a step back. You’re not afraid to turn your bending on him, not anymore, and it isn’t until now that he realizes he really has hurt you, more than he could ever have imagined.

“Y/n...”

“Go. Don’t make me ask again.”

With a defeated sigh Zuko turns away and leaves the Princess to her own devices. She goes back to tending to the dew, and the Prince goes back to his room to wallow in his shame.

Both have tears streaming down their faces.

| tags: @rainteslerrrr @oddment-niwit-blubber-tweak @thebluelcdy @royahllty @the-firebender-girl @coldlilheart @ilovespideyyy @yiyibetch @eridanuswave @lammello @a-monsters-love @titaniafire @dekahg @emberislandplayers @kikaninchen-2 @eridanuswave @lozzybowe @izzieserra @melacholy @music-geek19 @thia-aep @thyunnamed @haylaansmi @nataliahaslosthershit @idkdude776 @aangsupremacy @thirstyforsometea @ihaveaproblem98 @brown-eyed-thang |

[delicioussshame]

Posting next part of sugar AU before going to bed; we’ll see if I still hate it tomorrow.

Luo Binghe had always hoped for this, had always known he’d have it some day, but all his waiting couldn’t prepare him for how happy having Shen-laoshi makes him.

It does make his mornings even harder. He had grown to resent Shen-laoshi’s tendency to rise late, but now that waking him up with wandering hands or a ravenous mouth could be on the table, it’s even worse. Luo Binghe would love to start his day with the taste of Shen Yuan lingering in his mouth and his moans fresh in his mind. Sadly, Shen Yuan doesn’t quite approve. The one time Luo Binghe tried, Shen Yuan had barely managed to keep his eyes open for a few seconds before falling back to sleep. Really, how had he managed to go to work like this?

By suffering from chronic lack of sleep. The lifestyle definitely hadn’t suited him. His current situation is just so much better in every way. Luo Binghe will certainly relish watching students return to class, knowing his laoshi won’t be accompanying them.

Not for now, at least. He’s not quite sure what Shen Yuan is planning for his own future. He doesn’t think his teacher has accepted him fully yet. Shen-laoshi is probably still thinking things through, considering whether to look for another job or returning to school.

Since Luo Binghe himself now has Shen Yuan in his house, in his bed and away from the high school he refuses to call his, he finds himself willing to be patient on this particular aspect. He will, instead, focus his campaign on another, probably more delicate, front. “The literature division is holding its executive retreat in two weeks. I’m expected to show up for a formal dinner.”

Shen Yuan lifts his eyes from the book he’s reading and winces. “I’m sorry Binghe has to deal with this.”

Shen-laoshi, thank you for the hook. “It would be much easier if Shen-laoshi were to accompany me.”

“No it wouldn’t. The pain of trying to explain away my presence would far outweigh its benefits.”

“What is there to explain? Executives are allowed to bring their significant other. So would I.”

Shen Yuan returns to his book. “Very funny.”

There is nothing funny with his request? “How is it funny?”

“Like Binghe could introduce me as his significant other.”

“Why not?”

Shen Yuan puts the book down on the table and gives him an incredulous look. “Do you want to tear your reputation to shreds? I don’t have anything against you being attracted to men, but I’m not the majority. It will hurt your business, and by extension, your employees’ livelihood. Not to mention any chance of me working in education ever again. It’s unfair, I know, but Binghe cannot make his preference public.”

Luo Binghe blinks, confused. “I don’t care about any of this? My first priority will always be Laoshi. Why would I care about how he affects the conglomerate? As long as it still generates enough money to support Shen-laoshi as he should be supported, which it will, even a huge hit would still leave me with more money than anyone would ever need, I don’t care what happens to it.”

“Binghe, you’d be the front page of every magazine, every website, every news show. Your life would be exposed to the public, every single moment scrutinised and published for all to see. So would mine, and that’s if someone doesn’t get into their head that I must have abused you when you were a minor, in which case I could be jailed. It’s not a question of caring. You cannot do this.”

“Shen-laoshi would never have taken advantage of me! He couldn’t even tell I had a crush on him!” No one would ever believe something this ridiculous!

“That doesn’t matter. Binghe, I gave you a lot of attention. You remained after class so many times I cannot remember all of them. Everyone knew you were my favorite student. Look at it from the outside. How could you explain you, stunningly handsome and just as rich, choosing me, a no-name teacher with neither of those qualities, beside the fact that I groomed you? At best, I’ll be labelled a pervert and a degenerate. You can’t tell anyone you don’t trust. You’d be ruining your life.”

Luo Binghe had always known that their marriage might not ever be recognised. He had been fine with going abroad to get married, and had already set up a few shell corporations to finance legal challenges to the current definition of marriage, but he knew the chances of those challenges succeeding were slim.

In the end, it didn’t really matter. The commitment did. He had lawyers ready to set up the legal situation as close to marriage as it could be as soon as Shen Yuan agreed to it.

He’d never considered he would have to keep their relationship private, especially not forever. He has nothing to be ashamed of. If anything, he wants to brag! Who wouldn’t be jealous of him?

But if it’s going to make his laoshi’s life this much harder, to the point that prison was a possibility…

The prospect is too terrifying to contemplate. “We can move.”

“I’m sorry?”

That’s a good idea! “If we live elsewhere, somewhere where it’s not an issue, it wouldn’t matter as much!” And it’s not like another country would care that Shen-Yuan used to be his teacher! How would they know?

“And you would manage your inherited, incredibly complex conglomerate from there? Your board is going to love this.”

“And I should care because?”

“This is ridiculous. Binghe needs to think those things through instead of living in a fantasy where everything works out perfectly! He needs to think about his position before he jeopardises it! And he needs to think about his legacy before throwing everything away for a man! Don’t you want children?”

“If Laoshi wants some, we can adopt or arrange for a surrogate. It’s not an issue.” He bets Shen-laoshi’s children would be adorable. Luo Binghe would never leave them alone.

“Your fellow socialites would never accept it!”

This is really quite a pointless fight. “Again, I could not care less. I’ve never wanted their approval, and I don’t need it. The only approval I’ve ever wanted is yours. You must have felt something similar, since you gave this world up to work the job you wanted.”

“It’s not the same thing! I didn’t, nor would I ever have, your status! I wasn’t even my parents’ heir! I have three other siblings! They didn’t need me around. Your corporation has no one but you to rely on.”

“It’s just a corporation. If it bothers you so much, I could easily sell all my shares, step down from my post and live off the wealth for the rest of our life.” It would have the advantage of leaving him with nothing but time to take care of his laoshi.

It would also feel like failure. He worked so hard to make himself into the kind of man his laoshi could be proud of, the result of his constant efforts. Giving it all up would leave a bad taste in his mouth.

He would still do it in a heartbeat if his laoshi requested it of him.

“That’s not what I…” Shen Yuan rises from the couch, walking around the room hurriedly. “I think I’ll never understand why you do what you do. Surely I’m not worth it. My family certainly wouldn’t think so.”

He wouldn’t say it, because he knows it wouldn’t go down well, but one of the reasons Luo Binghe had looked forward to going public had been to rub in said family’s face their abandoned son’s success.

Now, he just wants to do it more. “For myself, I’ll never understand why Shen-laoshi cannot see his own worth when it’s so evident to me.”

Shen Yuan stops, a barely visible embarrassed flush on his face that instantly distracts Luo Binghe from this unpleasant conversation. “Binghe can’t say things like that just to change the subject.”

He snorts. “I wasn’t. It’s just true. Maybe if I keep telling Shen-laoshi what a wonderful person he is, he will start believing it.”

He sees Shen Yuan shutting up as he grows more embarrassed.

Luo Binghe goes to pull him into his arms. “I just want Shen-laoshi to be happy. If he wants to remain private, that’s what we’ll do. Just give me some time to figure it out.” It’s not what he wanted, but it can’t all be what he wants all the time, can it? If anything, it might be a good sign. Shen Yuan barely implied the situation was his fault, and didn’t offer to leave to take care of it.

Shen-laoshi appears to melt into his embrace, hiding his face into his neck.

Luo Binghe still hasn’t developed a resistance to Shen-laoshi showing him any form of vulnerability or affection, not that he thinks he ever will. He discards the conversation for now in favor of returning said affection in the way he’s still getting used to.

[shintorikhazumi]

Two is company, Three's a Crowd, but Four is the Death of Diana Cavendish (3): Progress

A/N: Okie, here it is, my dear catalyst friend who caused this fic to exist in a sense hahahha @tanuki-pyon​. This fic is... idk. 

Also I’m assuming that @komatsuna-yuki wants to be tagged? still? idk? sorry for assuming????? also @dianacavendishisgay just to tell you the next is here.

To everyone else,

Enjoy?

~Shintori Khazumi

//

Hannah sipped loudly from her cup, eyes bored, but inwardly absolutely amused as she watched Diana's mechanically stiff movements. The girl could not go into her classroom any slower.

Diana had been having difficulty entering the room; the thought of meeting Atsuko so soon- after that weird chain of events they had sprung on her- was daunting.

Yet Hannah wanted to see to it that Diana would attend her next class. She was waiting for her to go in already before walking over to her own a few rooms down.

She would not- could not- let Diana get away and lessen their chances of capturing one Kagari Atsuko.

Oh, the thought of that girl sent a jolt of excitement up Hannah's spine. The things they could do to the adorable, almost puppy-like bean once they were together.

Ah, but Diana Cavendish was so hell-bent on patience, chivalry, and her century-old idea of 'courtship' that would probably leave them all dried out by the time they got to the first date. It was a little annoying.

It simply wouldn't do.

That's why Hannah and Barbara were here. After noticing their lovely girlfriend struggle the past few months or so with hidden feelings that they could not interpret as anything else than the beginnings of another love, they had decided that it wasn't so bad to help her out and give her the happiness she very clearly deserved.

Okay, and maybe they found Atsuko super cute. After observing her the past few weeks- just to be sure she was good for Diana because scouting was important if they wanted what was best for her- they had come to also adore the honest, bubbly, and incredibly sweet girl who went to the park after school to feed random birds and animals, and gave children sweets after performing rather impressive magic tricks.

Hannah sighed her thoughts away, turning back to her useless girlfriend to confirm that she had made no progress at all in getting to her class. As expected.

Hannah could only watch on helplessly. She was not about to ruin her pretty image by barbarically dragging her girlfriend into the room. Not yet. That was only for desperate times.

Now was... not so desperate.

After what felt like forever congested into the last ten minutes of Diana's- and by extension, Hannah's- struggle, the oaf of a blonde genius finally managed to take a step into the lecture hall.

-only to peek back out at a speed contrasting the time it took to enter the room.

Hannah simply raised a brow, a silent, "What." being expressed.

"She's not here yet!" Diana whisper-shouted in panic. "I should've remembered she'd usually not be early! She's never here early! Hannah!"

Hannah only took another sip from her straw still, rolling her eyes at her girlfriend's rare display of desperate whininess.

Such a baby sometimes. She was definitely going to tell aunt Bernadette when they met up again. Just so they could tease Diana together.

"Calm down, sweet. Just go wait for her inside then or something." Hannah finally responded, sipping the last of her iced coffee before tossing the empty container into a nearby bin. "It's not like she'd skip class to avoid you."

"..."

"No way." Hannah could have laughed as Diana silently confirmed that Kagari Atsuko would definitely do something like that.

Oh great.

Two pains to deal with now.

She should've asked Barbara to come along.

Suddenly she heard a squeak from behind her. Hannah quickly turned around and a grin formed immediately on her face.

'Well, well. How perfect.'

Just the one they had been looking for, who was about to turn around and leave- about to bolt for dear life.

Not like Hannah would let her.

Preparing her sweetest smile and voice, she called the girl's name, skipping in her direction, snaking an arm around her waist before planting a greeting kiss on her cheek.

"Atsuko~"

"EEEEE-!  M-Miss England!"

"Oh, come on. Don't be so cold now! Call me Hannah~. Han-nah. <3"

From the corner of her eye she could see Diana sporting a scowl.

'Oh? Already jealous?'

It only tempted Hannah to mess with the pair even more. This was actually turning out to be quite fun. Maybe patience really was a virtue worth its price.

"Come now, let's get to class." She cheerfully linked arms with Atsuko, dragging her into the biochemistry class, past a Diana whose jaw hung slack.

----

Diana snapped out of her stupor soon enough, marching after the pair into the room.

"Wait a second, Hannah." Diana glared at her girlfriend, noting that Hannah had stolen her seat next to Miss Kagari. She nudged the girl over, the three of them now sat- squeezed together- at one table usually meant for only two. "You don't have this class." She pointed out bitterly, hoping Hannah would take the hint and leave.

Her frown deepened as Hannah simply smirked that one way that Diana knew meant that Hannah would do as she pleased regardless of anything or anyone.

"I do now~."

//

Lunch.

Finally. Thank god, Diana thought.

...or not.

If her morning dedicated to labs was already difficult with Hannah hanging around, Barbara taking a seat next to Miss Kagari at the table doubled her hardships.

Really. Couldn't these two see that they were making her cru- frien... wait. That wasn't it either. Just what... was Kagari Atsuko to her at the moment then?

She glanced at the trio again, her girlfriends taking turns happily feeding the poor girl in the middle who could only smile and nod, afraid of rejecting their advances.

She should really learn to speak up, that Kagari Atsuko.

Then again, she couldn't blame her. This was something she had also experienced back then, when she first started dating Hannah and Barbara.

Diana sighed, not really knowing what to do anymore.

"Yieee-!"

Diana swiftly became alert, already up from her seat and walking over to where Miss Kagari was bright red and apologizing to the people around for disturbing the peaceful lunch hours with her noise.

Diana was toeing a very fine line of patience, having been tested all morning. Hannah and Barbara were going too far with their touchiness and teasing! Hadn't they discussed that they'd go into this gently! Courtship! Kagari Atsuko deserved the best of it!

This wasn't it!

And Hannah slipping her hand onto Akko's thigh was the last straw for Diana.

Quickly, she took that hand off, taking Akko's and leading her out towards the courtyard to get some fresh air. For Akko or for herself? She didn't really know.

In her blind emotion, Diana had failed to realize some things. One was that she had dragged her partner half way across the school building, subconsciously wanting to be as far from her stressors as possible; and two, they were now alone. Something that never happened outside of lab activities.

As soon as it came to her awareness, she whirled around to face the girl she had roughly tugged along behind her, bowing in deep apology. "I'm truly sorry, Miss Kagari!" She hadn't really thought of what to do after that.

Peeking up at Akko, she saw a flustered expression that made her heart flutter in her chest. Everything about her was just so, so enticing. Maybe she'd admit to understanding her girlfriends' desires to act the way they did around the Japanese girl.

Caught in a moment unaware, her lips loosened, speaking a blaring thought she had believed she'd suppressed at the back of her mind for so long.

"May I formally court you?"

She felt her eyes widen as Akko's did as well.

There. She'd said it. She'd finally said it.

She just hoped that Akko would let her down easy if in case rejection was her choice of answer-

"H-how... How does it work?" Was the tiny voice's response in the form of a question of her own.

"Huh?"

"This... thing. Relationship. Of yours." She wrung her shirt in her hands, twisting nervously. She didn't seem to be asking out of judgment, rather it was out of genuine curiosity. "I mean... if I'm going to-to be a part of it, I'd like to know... y'know?" She grinned this crooked silly grin that made Diana blush.

'Super cute' -as Hannah had put it, Akko was.

"W-well... I... um..." Come now, Diana Cavendish. Where did the valedictorian of her graduating class go? She needed to explain it clearly, and simple as possible at the same time. "It's... we love each other... equally...?"

'Oh, bury me alive.'

"I... see." Atsuko hummed, staring at her shoes for a bit, face scrunched up in deep thought.

Diana needed to do something. Say something to clear up any confusion the other girl might have acquired after her failure of an explanation.

"Y-You don't have to erm... 'love' as all at once. Or force yourself to be in a relationship with us all- um... odd as it may sound... that you'd date only one of us while we date each other. Oh but... That... doesn't sound very fair on your part, does it?" Diana chuckled awkwardly, one of her hands circling the opposite wrist, seeking comfort in the sensation.

Aahhh, she'd definitely messed it up now. Maybe having Hannah and Barbara around was a better game plan when it came to Kagari Atsuko. Diana braced herself for the worst.

The worst... didn't come.

"I want to try."

If anything, it was the best?

"W-whu?" Diana's gaze zoned in on the blushing woman in front of her, shoes scuffing the dirt, hands fidgeting together. She was clearly flustered. Not that Diana was any better. Especially not after the bomb that would drop on her next.

"I actually... like you... Miss Cavendish."

"Well, shit."

"Eh?"

"Oh! Oh no! Shit as in... no, um...not in the bad sense! Shit as in, the good shit- dear lord, what have I been spouting I'll shut up right away, right now, I- I'm..." Shamefully stupid as she was being, she couldn't help the smile that was beginning to make her cheeks hurt by how wide it had spread across her face. "I'm so happy, Mi-Miss Ka... no.... Atsuko. Atsuko... At-canIcallyouthat?” 

She received a dumbfounded nod. One she was most grateful for.

She took a deep breath. “I... I also... I fancy you." She confessed in her own odd way that definitely confused Atsuko.

"Thanks?"

"It means I like you."

"Oh."

"..."

"Oh."

Diana couldn’t quite name all the emotions that had so quickly flashed across Atsuko’s face. She hoped they meant good things?

"Well, shit."

Good things.

"Right?" Diana began chuckling, unable to help herself. She felt over the moon, flying high up like a witch on a broom above the clouds. Or was Atsuko the witch? Casting a spell on her, making her all sorts of weird.

Did it matter now though?

Hardly.

If anything, she liked this love spell that had bewitched her.

"May I... May I walk you home after class later?" She mustered up the courage to ask, patting herself on the back for being rather progressive. She was feeling a bit more confident compared to earlier. Her composure was beginning to return to her, and her calm indicated that she was getting used to interacting with her new potential lover.

And then the girl smiled.

All of that organization of mind flew out the window.

"I'd love to walk home with you, D-Diana."

Ah. The finishing blow.

"Th-th-th-th-that's! Sounds perfect! Ha! Haha! Ha...ha... I, then we should-" Diana should remember how breathing felt. Suddenly, her head was spinning, vision tunneling. She vaguely heard the lunch bell go off somewhere in the background. "Class! Class, time to go back and-"

She missed the way Atsuko's eyes widened in panic, looking behind Diana and reaching for naught.

"Eh? D-Diana, wait! There's a-"

Tree.

Before she could even think of kissing Atsuko, she first kissed a tree.

Progress.

//-//

Extra:

"You think it worked?"

"Obviously. My plans always work."

"Our plans, babe." Barbara giggled, leaning her head against Hannah's shoulder, relishing in its warmth and comfort. It was fun to tease the pair while it lasted, but she couldn't help but wonder if it was all okay. "We didn't... push too far, did we? Make them uncomfortable or anything?"

Hannah nuzzled the top of her head, planting a kiss there. "I'm pretty sure we did." She sighed. "But would it have been as effective if we didn't?"

"I suppose not."

"Mm." Hannah hummed. "We can just apologize when this is all over and laugh it off."

Barbara turned to her, giggling, a teasing glint in her eyes. "You hate apologizing, luv."

"I know." Hannah laughed along. "That's why I'm hoping it goes great and Diana forgets all about it."

Barbara agreed with that one. She knew she was equally in trouble.

They hoped for the best. If all went according to their little scheme, Diana would be coming back with a girl that was already half their girlfriend. Just a little more to go. Then they could get to all the 'fun things'  that came with being in a relationship.

Right.

Still though...

 "They're rather useless."

"No truer words have been spoken."

[dreamiesdotcom]

you've been fooled! | p.js

Summary: There's something about coffee, breathless moments, and watching memories of the many April 1st you've shared that makes it so hard to resist.

Word Count: 2.1k

You've always been fine with being alone. Being alone afforded you silence, and that's all that you need to have the illusion of peace of mind. That's why months before entering this school, you considered it your mission to not get too much attention on you — if possible, none at all.

Only that it fails the moment you step in, an angel-faced boy asking you if God sent you to this school to guide him.

'No, my parents are the one who sent me here and it's so that I can get an education, not babysit kids.' You politely said, and now you can't even count how many people keep on praising you for doing that! How rare is it to see someone tell others to leave them alone? You swore that one more person trying to talk to you when you're trying to have a sandwich and you're —

"New kid?" a voice rings from behind you, and you turn your head back a little so you could see who's speaking. He grimaces a bit. "Oh, Y/N from the rival school, huh. I've heard fun things about you."

...perfect. Now, you can forget your mission and die.

Your day instantly glooms, and you turn back to your meal. All your plans of starting fresh has just been washed away, and you take an angry bite off your sandwich before someone completely ruins lunch for you.

"If it's about that video, leave me alone."

Silence.

"Donghyuck! Oh God, I'm so sorry..." suddenly comes another boy, slightly panting as he pats the mean one's shoulder a little too harshly. His eye-smile makes it a little better.

"Hyuck's not trying to be mean, he just speaks like that. 'm so sorry!!!"

You squint at him, skeptical.

"Oh, I meant when you told Jaemin to back off when he tried to flirt with you on the hallways." Ah, that. What a fresh start, huh?

Said Donghyuck scratches his nape, looking sheepish as he takes the seat beside you. "Did I sound like I was picking a fight again?"

You chuckle to yourself. That probably explains the cut on his lips pretty well.

"Yeah, you kinda did. Sorry, bro, but I would've slapped you."

"What a way to spend your first day, then." He rolls his eyes, motions for his friends to move tables, who does with little hesitation, "Welcome to this hell hole! It's not the best, but it's as good as Satan's den could be."

You laugh, but you quickly notice curious stares directed at you. The person in front of you smiles shyly and looks away when you meet gazes, and honestly, you don't know how you went from there to a year later, Park Jisung shamelessly holding out a drink at your direction.

"Just drink it, it's iced chocolate! I made it myself!"

"That's nice, Sung... but I only drink coffee." you warily smile, "I don't like sweet things."

The sly smirk Renjun sends you from the other side of the table only encourages your little act, and it takes you all the self-control you could muster to not crack up then and there. Of course, you know what day it is. Of course, you're not gonna fall for his antics, nor the kicked-puppy expression he wears as he insists, "Liar! You live for sweets!"

But, you must admit that it did make you waver.

"No? I like strongly flavored stuff, Sungie," you point out with a grimace. Just for show, you point to Jaemin's cup beside you. "Like this: Nana's coffee, really bitter and strong. This is what I like."

Chenle holds in his laughter. "Since you made it yourself, why don't you just drink it?"

Jisung's eyes widen, "What? No!"

"Drink, Sungie!" comes in chants, alongside multiple repeated versions of 'Jisung! Jisung!' seems to hit something much like his pride, and he lifts it with an expression not suitable for the situation; he looked way too afraid of the chocolate drink. Everyone's holding in their giggles as they watch Jisung grimace and take a gulp out of the cup, trying to play cool even though he chokes not even moments later. Your smile widens.

The salt must be a nice twist.

What a classic, huh? Donghyuck grins, Cheshire and smug, and then he claps.

"Happy April Fool's day, everyone! Park Jisung has fooled himself!"

###

No way in the world are the only words circulating in your head as you pace around, and it's not at all helping. You heave a big sigh only to hiss at him, "What do you mean 'no pranks this year'?"

He shrugs and flops down his bed, "You know we're running out of ideas since Christmas."

"Oh," you widen your eyes, dropping down next to him with your palms covering your face in disappointment. You peek through your fingers, "This is bad."

The plastic stars you've plastered on his ceiling together with Renjun look sickly green at the moment and everything feels out of place. After all, what is April 1st without pranks? What's gonna happen now? You thrash around the bed. You muffle a scream and just hope that he'd open his mouth and come up with something.

"Hey, what about we go on a date as a prank?"

And as usual, his mouth is better off closed.

"Is this your way of flirting, or is this your way of asking me out?"

Jisung makes a confused sound, "What? It's gonna make them freak out, what do you mean?"

"Are you acting out on your feelings or do you actually think that's a good idea?" you take your hands off your face, sitting up and then shrugging at him, "Lines blurred."

"Err. Could be a prank, I guess..." he follows suit, sitting cross-legged in front of you. He smiles, "Unless... you want it to be a real date?'

"Dude, I don't know. When did you get this confidence? Years ago you were stuttering around me." You huff, not knowing where this conversation is going, but a flush creeps on your cheeks. You look down on your fingers as you mumble out the next words, "But if it is... well, sure. I'll go on a real date with you."

You didn't know what falling in love felt like, but in the middle of his room, something felt way too raw and surreal. What is it that says so much about him? Is it the plastic stars? The globe laying on his desk? The map taped at the side of the room? The way dull blue paints his walls, or the way constellations speckle his eyes? Maybe it's the yellow hoodie he's wearing? You don't know which, but right now, something feels strange — something in the scent of cinnamon and cocoa and shades of yellows and blues just feels unabashedly Jisung, and somehow, you just thought that it must be like this.

It should be legal to feel this good.

"Ha! You're kissing, aren't you— oh..."

You both startle to look at where the door swings open, everyone in your friend group standing behind an accusing Jaemin, each one of them looking at him with the eyes of murder. You crack up a laugh, falling over the bed laughing; alone is slightly less entertaining of a thought when you have friends.

"Aish, Na Jaemin —" Jisung groans, standing up while clapping at the older. "Happy April Fool's,  you've fooled yourself."

###

Knees pressed together, head down low, eyes closed, mind empty. Anguished and cold.

"But I've tried my best...." you dejectedly whisper, holding the paper in your hands that said 'Second' in silver delicate swirls. You look up to her with hopeful eyes, "All I need is a chance, mom. You see, Renjun's really good at that subject, he could help me—"

"Those friends again! 'You see', this is why you didn't make it as top of your class!"

"It's... it's one subject, mom. If I try harder, I can —"  you scramble to explain, chasing after her as she moves up the stairs. "You're... mom, you're not taking me away, aren't you?"

The despair in your tone doesn't even shake her. "One day. Go have your fun, and then we'll leave. I'll ask your brother to focus on you more."

"Mom, no! We said that if I study well here, I won't have to leave!"  you reason out. "I really like it here, and I have important people here, and I'm trying hard. We agreed that I'd get to stay if I don't cause trouble, and mom— mom, no, listen!"

"That's my choice. It's for the betterment of your academics—"

"But what about the betterment of my life? What about my choice, mom?"  you hate the way you feel so weak and your voice cracks, but through the blur of fears and your unshed tears, you croak out, "What about me?"

Anguished and cold. So cold, freezing. So loved and all on your own.

"Last time you made a choice, you shamed yourself and this family. You don't deserve your freedom, Y/N." She grimaces. The memory fills your gut with guilt, "And look at you, answering back at your own mother! It's those friends, isn't? They've ruined you more than you've already ruined yourself!"

Quickly enough, the remorse is gone and anger floods you. How dare she?! You look up to her in disbelief, "This is about you ruining my trust, mother. Not them."

"The boy, then." she muses, and it's where you decide that there's no changing her mind. "Love, Y/N, will get you nowhere at the moment."

But it's what kept me alive until now.

You inhale sharply at your thoughts. How does one make forever out of a day?

Maybe you can walk every street, every corner. That date you and Jisung never got to go to, you could do that too because heaven knows how much you wanted that. Maybe you can go take them anywhere, somewhere, and waste away. Maybe you could fall asleep staring at the stars, sharing your dreams, and maybe, just maybe, time wouldn't matter. Better yet, maybe you can change your mother's mind.

Maybe if you just try again, this time much fiercer although you've always been the fiercest, it might be possi—it's impossible. You realize it's impossible as you look out the car windows, watching the city change landscapes in blurs.

Maybe it's really just a different kind of heartbreak to be doing all that you could and still not get the results you wanted. More than it proved that now is not your time again, it also made you feel like a failure. Like you're lacking, insufficient. Never enough.

But you really, really thought you could stay. You hoped.

"Happy April Fool's..." you whispered to no one but yourself, meeting your mother's gaze as she smiles at you through the rearview mirror. You lean your head to the glass, eyes closed and mumbling under your breath, smiling on your own, "I've fooled myself."

And just like that, you were alone again.

###

"Good Morning, may I take your order?"

You press your lips in a thin line as you hear the muffled voice, phone in between your shoulders and ear as you search for your pouch somewhere around your bag. Hurriedly, you muster up your words, "Oh, yes, good Morning too! Just one Iced Americano, please—"

That voice... who?

Looking up, your heartbeat halts, and you try not to look so stunned, something you miserably failed. At least, that's what you read in his amused expression. You stay in silence as you wait for him to finish up your drink, carefully pushing your card towards him as you take your drink from his hold.

"I... I see you're still helping Yongie, huh?" you smile softly, hesitant. "Thank you, Jisung."

Flashbacks, sweet smiles, children at play every day of the year no matter how old — free. When was the last time you've missed such freedom?

He returns the favor, that saccharine expression, and you drag yourself out of the place before you decide to do something stupid. Why is it so easy to see the past years when you're watching it flash by through his eyes?

Standing outside the Cafe wistfully, you look at your cup, tracing over his messy handwriting of your name, basking on the nostalgia of seeing the same hastily written letters that somewhere in time occupied most of your cards, notebooks, and journals. A fond chuckle leaves your lips as you read the post-it note attached.

Happy April Fool's day!

I thought I'd give you hell once you come back for leaving, but well, Park Jisung's fooled himself, huh? My number's still the same. Let's talk sometime soon.

I missed you.

[thorne93]

The Stars Made Us (Part 15)

Prompt: In this world, you’re one of the “lucky” ones who got a soulmate, but what if the universe gives you more than you bargained for?

(Prompt challenge – You live in a world where your soulmate can write on their skin and you will get the writing on your own and vice versa. Where they can wash away the ink on their own skin, however, the writing is forever scarred onto your skin until you meet face to face)

Word Count: 2218

Warnings: angst and language throughout

Notes: This was supposed to be for @sorryimacrapwriter  and their challenge like a year ago, I think? I still loved the prompt though and have been working on this story for quite some time. This aesthetic was made by @quailliamfears, thank you so much! Beta’d by @like-a-bag-of-potatoes​, couldn’t have done it without you, as well as @carryonmyswansong​ and @arrow-guy​ and @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo​

Also, I’ve never really liked the whole soulmate AU thing idea, but this felt so right and it was amazing to write. I hope y’all love it too!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You wound up at the door of an expensive apartment in the center of Manhattan. Well, at least it wasn’t a far journey. You knocked on the door, unsure what to expect.

When a woman with stunning red hair opened the door, your eyes narrowed in surprise.

“Stephen? Are you expecting company?” she called behind her into the apartment.

“No, I--” you began to answer before holding out your hand, hoping she could see the marking. She took your hand in hers, reading the mark left by Stephen. 

“You’re his soulmate?” she asked in astonishment. She glanced back to someone, but you couldn’t see around her. “You’ve got a lot on your hands,” she mused before pursing her lips and breezing past you.

You frowned, wondering what that meant, and who that was. You took a tentative step in, letting the door close behind you. You finally saw the figure who was standing at a window, his back to you. 

“Are you...Stephen Strange?” you asked aloud. 

“Who’s asking?” he asked tersely, not turning to you.

“I’m Y/F/N,” you informed, walking forward, your hand outstretched. 

“And I should care, why?” he asked, finally turning around. When he did, his appearance surprised you. He looked unkempt. A beard that was unruly, hair that was matted and needed a wash, in a robe that needed to see the inside of a washing machine, and worn eyes. 

“I’m your soulmate,” you explained, going to show him your hand, only to realize and remember that the markings disappeared the moment you two saw each other. 

“If you’re here looking for money, you’re barking up the wrong tree, I don’t have any money,” he told you, defeated as he fell into a chair. “Not anymore.” 

You shook your head. “I came here simply because your name and location appeared on my arm.” Then you sat down at the table with him.

“Is that supposed to mean something to me?” he snapped.

You looked him up and down, a look of sympathy in your eyes. He reminded you of Charles when you first met him -- broken, damaged, self-loathing, a total wreck. You didn’t know the first thing about this man, but you knew he needed your help. 

“You don’t believe in soulmates,” you surmised from his tone.

“No, I don’t.”

You sat there as he was clearly dismissing you. You looked at him and immediately started a psychological profile on him. He had wealth… his hands appeared to be damaged… he was clearly upset… so was the woman who left… he was arrogant....

That’s when you remembered the first mark that ever showed up on your skin from him -- it was shorthand. 

“You’re a doctor,” you suddenly breathed out in realization.

“Congratulations. Would you like a prize?” he scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“I’d like you to talk to me. A few months ago, you wrote shorthand on your left hand, and it showed up on mine. Now, normally, this wouldn’t be that big of a deal--”

“But?” he pressed, his temper showing. 

“But I’ve already got a soulmate…”

His attention slowly turned on you some more. Now he seemed interested.

“You already have a soulmate?”

You nodded. “Yes, I got him when I was eighteen. We wrote on our skin for years, emailed back and forth, then suddenly… his name and address came to me. We’ve been living together for a while now… But then one day, your shorthand popped up on my hand and we didn’t know what to make of it. Neither did the county clerk. They said they’ve never had a record of someone having two mates.”

Stephen narrowed his eyes on you. “So, what -- I’m supposed to believe you and I are mates? Bullshit.” 

“Ever wonder why you have all those marks on your arm?” you inquired. “Scars you never got?”

“I ignored them,” he grumbled as he looked away.

“Why?”

“Soulmates are for children,” he explained as his attention snapped back to you. He leaned closer to you. “Love is just a waste of time. It’s one giant Hallmark holiday.” 

You peered at him with a side smile.

“Oh, do you find that amusing?”

“I find your defense mechanisms incredible. Tell me, do they usually work?” you asked. 

He glared at you. “What are you? A shrink?”

“I prefer the term psychiatrist,” you noted simply with a grin. 

“Oh, great. So you think if we talk, if I just open up, then all of this will be okay?”

“No, I don’t. I have no idea what’s going on here but I’m going to bet it has something to do with a recent trauma, my guess is physical. You were a doctor, no? Possibly surgeon of some kind. You had some kind of damage to your hands and now they won’t work.” 

“Wow, you really know how to make a guys problems sound minimal. Yes, my hands, the source of my work, the source of my ability are fucked, alright? I had the steadiest hand on this side of the globe. I was world renowned. I got into a car accident and the jackasses at the hospital ruined me, alright? They ruined me!” he shouted. “I’ve been through every experimental surgery there is and it’s not getting any better. I’ve spent everything but my last dime trying to get back to where I was. Is that what you want to hear?”

“Stephen, I only want to hear what you want to tell me. I didn’t choose to come here, the universe told me you needed me. I think it’s very clear that you do.” 

“Oh yeah, because we’re so close, you know everything about me. Well what would you know about having your livelihood ripped away from you?” he remarked. 

“Nothing,” you answered honestly. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t sympathize, that I can’t help…” 

“Help,” he scoffed. “I don’t need help, yours or anyone else’s.” 

“You mean like the woman that just walked out? Did you throw her out or did she leave?” you wondered.

“Hey, I don’t need any fucking mind games, okay? I’ve got enough to deal with without playing ‘Get Psychoanalyzed’ with some stranger.” 

“We wouldn’t be strangers if you weren’t so afraid of getting hurt by love again,” you stated.

He narrowed his stormy grey eyes at you. “You don’t know the first thing about me.”

“I know I’m right. The way you get defensive and hostile every time I bring up love, it seems to really bother you. I don’t think it’s romantic though.” You peered at him as he seemed annoyed. “No, if it was romantic, that woman wouldn’t have walked out of here. I don’t think it has anything to do with that. Romantic love can be forgotten, let go, replaced… You lost a loved one, didn’t you?”

“Are you a fortune teller? If I tell you you’re right, are you going to leave me alone?”

“I’m not going to leave you alone until you look well enough to take a proper bath by yourself. I’m judging by your hair and facial hair that your lady friend tries to keep up with your hygiene but struggles.” 

“I’m not a toddler.”

“No, but you do need help,” you insisted easily.

“Let me make this perfectly clear: I didn’t ask for your help, I don’t want your help, I don’t need your help. So please, see yourself to the door and make your way back to your other soulmate or your first soulmate or whoever it is and leave...me...alone.” 

You sucked in your lips, trying to think of a way to get him to let you stay. Clearly he had a lot of pride. Charles wasn’t extremely pleasant when you met him in his state of need. But this was completely different. This man didn’t want anyone around… Maybe that was it… 

“Maybe you don’t want pity, or help, or for anyone to see you this way,” you offered, “but from where I’m sitting, it looks like you could use someone in your life. I take it that that woman was probably about the only person you had left.” 

He didn’t say anything, just looked away with resentful eyes.

“If I’m right about the fact that you’ve lost a loved one -- family, and that woman was the last friend you had… Sitting alone in a huge apartment isn’t going to do anything for your morale. You’re a doctor, you know patients need hope to get better. Being alone and feeling helpless isn’t going to get any better, and it certainly won’t make your hands return to normal.” 

His eyes shifted to the floor, looking around, as if to avoid your face. 

“I’m not here to ridicule or pity. I don’t know anything about you except you seem like a man lost within himself and he doesn’t want to ask for help for fear he’ll be seen as a failure. I’m not going to judge you. I’m a doctor, you’re a doctor, just let me help you.”

“Really took the whole oath thing to another level huh?” he mocked. His eyes found yours before eyeing you up and down slowly. “You’re really not going to leave, are you?” he asked, seeming to accept this. 

“I’m a psychiatrist, Stephen, I’ve seen a lot worse than you,” you informed boldly. 

He slightly rolled his eyes. “If you’re going to stay, I guess you can make yourself useful. I need laundry done.”

You nodded with a partial smile. “Sure thing. Just point the way.” 

With that, he lazily pointed down the hall. There you found a stack of laundry inside a large master bedroom. You picked it all up and then went by him. He was still moping at his glass dining room table. 

“Do you have a washing machine downstairs?”

“Basement. Take the elevator all the way down. They’re on the left.” 

“I’ll be right back,” you kindly said. 

You got downstairs and sorted all of the laundry, got three loads started, and came back up while those worked. “Alright, what next?”

“Dishes, I suppose. Christine can bring food, she just can’t clean up after it.”

You smiled and nodded as you walked away from the dining area to the open kitchen to do his dishes. 

“So… Christine… she’s your…” you trailed off, wanting him to fill in the blanks as you picked up the dishes to get them ready to clean.

“Colleague,” he stated, warning just under his tone. 

“Are you sure you two haven’t been closer?” you wondered. 

“If you’re just going to psychoanalyze me--”

“I’m not giving you a free therapy session, Dr. Strange, I’m trying to get to know you. Like you, my skills are highly regarded and sought after. Giving you a free session wouldn’t be fair to everyone else.”

He mulled over your words for a moment and realized you were right. Giving therapy wasn’t free or easy, and a lot of time and energy went into it. So he humored you. “Well if you must know, yes, we dated for a while.” 

“Was it serious?” 

“If it was serious we’d be married, don’t you think?”

“Not necessarily.” 

He watched you work for a moment before sighing. “No, I suppose it wasn’t. I think we wanted it to be, and it just didn’t work that way.”

“And why is that?” 

“You know, we just met, I’m not sure you should be asking me all this. You’re the stranger who came into my home. I feel like I should be vetting you.”

“We wouldn’t be strangers if you had just responded to some of my messages,” you argued, a sort of teasing in your tone as you continued to work on getting the dishes loaded.

“So you really believe in all this romantic nonsense, that there really is one person out there for everyone?” he asked, sounding curious. 

“Not quite. If I felt that, everyone would have a soulmate. I think a select few get their partners. I also think people who don’t have soulmates have very loving and fantastic relationships, perhaps better than some soulmates.” 

“So why go through all this? If you’re already with a mate, why are you here with me?” 

You turned to him, putting your hands on the counter between dishes as you looked directly at him. “The universe led me to one great man, why wouldn’t it do so again? I trust it.” 

“That’s a lot of faith.”

“Perhaps I can have enough faith and hope for the both of us, since clearly you need it.” 

He didn’t respond and two seconds later, you announced, “Done! Dishes are loaded and washing.” 

“Thanks. I’m going to bed,” he said as he got up. 

You frowned. “Alright. Do you need help?”

“No, over the years I’ve mastered the art of laying my body in a bed and pulling covers over myself.” 

You sighed. “Alright, if you’re going to be an ass about it, I’ll put the things in the dryer and then I’m going to a hotel nearby. Expect me back in the morning,” you called after him as he walked into his room.

“Expect me to still not want you here,” he called back. 

You rolled your eyes, smiling at the challenge you were about to face before stepping out of his apartment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[blazehedgehog]

What was the honest reaction to Sonic 06 back in 2006?

It was a long time ago, so I can only really speak to my own perspective.

Sonic 2006 was the time that Sega’s marketing department really started cranking the hype train really, really hard. Sonic 2006 was announced as a fresh start. A soft reboot. Sonic Team said they were treating it like “the first Sonic game on the Sega Genesis.” You still had Tails, and Knuckles, and Shadow, but it was the start of a new era. A new type of Sonic the Hedgehog. More serious, more realistic, more “epic.”

At this point, there was no reason to necessarily distrust any of that. Yes, Sonic games had been slipping in quality, and yes, Sega was still more or less pretending that everything was “okay.” But that was always in the typical, “we’re trying to sell a video game and not go bankrupt” sense. This felt like a tacit acknowledgement that things weren’t so great and they were going to start over and refocus. Set things right.

Early gameplay footage looked rough. I distinctly remember a Gametrailers hands-on where they were demoing the Mach Speed Zone in Kingdom Valley, and the Sega representative was very clear and upfront that the game wasn’t done yet, and all of the empty space Sonic was running through would be filled in later. (It wasn’t.) There was also the typical debate over the TGS 2006 “Bringing it Home” playable demo, where people argued then, too, that the game wasn’t done yet, and not to judge things too harshly. The final version will be better.

The final version also wasn’t done yet. So, y’know.

I had effectively bought an Xbox 360 for this game. I was broke as per usual, but I’d gotten lucky and won a Gametrailers video competition, which landed me $1000 in Gamestop gift cards. I bought a PS2, a Nintendo DS, and an Xbox 360, plus more than a dozen games between the three platforms. I knew there would be more Xbox 360 games besides Sonic 2006, and I’d even originally wanted a 360 primarily for Elder Scrolls Oblivion, but the simple fact is that once the money was in my hands and I spent it, Sonic 2006 was the only actual Xbox 360 game I owned.

Or was going to own, anyway. I think I’d won the contest in September or October of 2006, when Sonic came out in November. So I bought the 360 a few weeks early with some original Xbox games, and spent the interim with Spider-man 2, Ninja Gaiden Black, and the copy of Halo 2 I borrowed from my cousin.

Sonic 2006 was the first game I’d ever pre-ordered. The second game, pre-ordered on the same day, was The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess for the Gamecube. I still have the tiny pre-order statue that came with Sonic. His gloves and socks, once white, have begun to yellow with age, and the skin tone on his face and body is turning an ashy gray.

Even 72 hours before launch, there was not a clear picture what Sonic 2006 actually was. Sega was deliberately obfuscating certain features; early in development they’d sworn up and down that there were only three playable characters in the game, something that blatantly wasn’t true. Perhaps it was miscommunication from Japan, but it meant they were now going out of their way to hide how many other playable characters were actually in the game. I naively distrusted most (if not all) professional reviewers back then, and the earliest scores for Sonic 2006 were all over the map.

As a Sonic fan, you kind of had to know how to read between the lines on the more negative reviews, because we were definitely in the era where it felt like critics were starting to dogpile on the Sonic franchise now that Sega was a third party developer. There weren’t a lot of professional reviews you could trust regarding Sonic games, or at least, that’s what it felt like. This was the rise of the podcast, and snarky hosts were taking whatever low hanging fruit they could get.

I remember waking up on launch day -- friends had gotten up early and picked theirs up in the morning, when I’d rolled out of bed somewhere closer to noon (or maybe even afternoon). I had plans to pick up my copy later that evening, after sunset. My friends did not sound happy, but again, there was always this vibe of “Wait and see.” They had only just started the game. First impressions were still too fresh to really call.

But I had this moment, this cold spot in the pit of my stomach, where I thought “Maybe I can cancel the pre-order and get Gears of War instead?” Reviews for Gears seemed pretty good. I’d probably be happy with it instead of Sonic.

I couldn’t let myself do that. I was a Sonic fan. This was the first big Sonic game of a new generation. A new start. I bought the console for this. First game I ever pre-ordered. The second Sonic game in the history of the franchise I’d bought on launch day. This was it. This was the event. No backing down. Besides, Sonic 2006 was a big 15th Anniversary celebration game. They wouldn’t make such a big deal about the anniversary without just cause, right? Sonic 2006 was going to be great. I just needed to calm down.

So we drove out to Gamestop -- and it was the sort of thing where I think we couldn’t do the pre-order at my local Gamestop for some reason, so this one was a town or two over. It was a journey. I was nervous the whole way there. Something told me I was making a mistake. But I had to do this.

I think it may have been starting to rain as we rolled up on the store. It was around 8pm, and people were starting to camp out on the sidewalk. Literally camp out, tents and all, because of the rain. Today was the launch date for Sonic 2006, but tomorrow was the launch of the Playstation 3. These guys were here for Gamestop’s “Midnight Madness” launch event. They were going to be some of the first to get a PS3. I was probably the last person to pick up a Sonic 2006 pre-order.

Sonic 2006 might have been the first Sonic game to ever make me angry. I’d had a lot of internet debates on how I felt about Sonic Adventure 2, but most of those amounted to splitting hairs about things that felt disappointing when compared to the original Sonic Adventure. I was not angry then, I was simply let down. I was similarly let down when I finally got a chance to play Sonic Heroes. But again, not angry. Baffled, maybe. A little sad. But not angry.

With Sonic 2006, I slammed head first in to all of my excitement and uncertainty at 200mph. This was a Sonic game unlike anything I’d ever played before, and in all of the worst possible ways. Enough has been said about the quality of the game that I don’t need to describe anything that’s wrong with it -- also because literally everything was wrong with it. Perhaps the first video game I’d ever played, ever, on any platform, that actually fought back against your efforts to play it. A disaster in every sense of the word. A broken nightmare. After finishing Sonic’s story, I was mad. How could they let this happen? What was wrong with them?

I was less angry after having finished Shadow’s story. Shadow had even buggier gameplay than Sonic, but it also felt more complex, more action-oriented. His story was better, too -- instead of the sappy Princess love story, Shadow’s story was about how the world was against him, and the crossroads that brought him to: rise above his past and strive to be a better person, or give in to the temptations of evil? It was still dumb as heck, but it was less dumb than Sonic’s story.

By the time the credits rolled, I had accepted the fact that this game was a mess. More of a mess than any Sonic game ever had been before. It was clearly a deeply unfinished game. Friends theorized maybe they could patch the game, because that was a thing games could get now. Sonic 2006 could still be saved. The PS3 version wouldn’t be out for another month, surely that means they’re working on a fix, right? Some were even theorizing over an achievement called “Nights of Kronos” -- it mentioned a “complete ending to the last hidden story.” Perhaps that meant there was going to be more? Maybe we got the bad ending, and a better, more finished ending was waiting for us on the disc somewhere?

There wasn’t. And no patch ever fixed the game. That was Sonic 2006 -- the kiss, the loading screens, the strange mannequin NPCs, the stiff controls, the glitchy physics, the empty overworlds, the bizarre dialog, the plotholes and time paradoxes, that’s just what the game was, and was always going to be, forever.

Before Sonic 2006, you could say that 3D Sonic games were bad, but there was always a place to defend them from. They had problems, but they were never irredeemable. Sonic Heroes may have had frustrating controls and repetitive level design, but it had great art direction, nice music, and fun concepts. They were always trying, dang it, and it was obvious to see that.

Sonic 2006 felt irredeemable. Offensively terrible. A failure on such a level that it was hard to comprehend. Beyond simply “a new low” for the franchise. This felt like rock bottom. It was the kind of bad that spread like a virus. Even good games, like Sonic 2 on the Sega Genesis, felt notably tarnished by the existence of Sonic 2006. It threatened to ruin the entire franchise by proximity alone. For some, it probably did. I definitely had a moment where I wondered if I would ever enjoy a Sonic game in the same way ever again. They were all tainted now. Infected by memories of Sonic 2006, the game that was supposed to save the franchise, but condemned it to the lowest pits of hell.

In isolation, that might have been the end for me. I might have continued to drift away, bit by bit, until I found greener hills outside of the Sonic franchise.

I’ve said this before, but what saved me was getting hired to write for TSSZ News. Now, suddenly, I was paid to play and write about Sonic games. It was a duty. And it helped that the first Sonic game I reviewed for TSSZ ended up being Sonic Unleashed, a game I continue to openly gush about to this day, more than a decade after its release.

But never forget that Sonic 2006 was such a disaster that it nearly made me give up Sonic the Hedgehog. It really was that bad.

[koscheimaryas]

“i only have eyes for you, you know that.” benlissa t0x1c

“i only have eyes for you, you know that.”, starring vasilisa and benjamin

Sensitive dependence. A small change that tampered on big, life changing events, on things that only a few recovered from. Vasilisa was well-acquainted with the butterfly effect and its meaning, since the theory had been permeating her life for what it seemed like forever. By making the worst decisions ever known by men, she set herself up for failure. She bit the bullet and jumped feet-first over that impervious abyss, for she knew that there was no other way but that one. Of that, Lissa was certain; nothing would ever end up well for her, no matter how much she tried to make her own life work. 

That, however, had never been something she ever gave much thought to. The Russian girl loved taking the wrong, crooked route way too much for her own liking: she relished over the fact that by any means, whatever life threw at her, she made sure that she made good use of it and came out of it victorious. She quickly realized over the years just how that would work - by yielding. By doing the one thing no one expected a witty, smartmouth girl to do. After all, in order to succeed, she had to give up a few belongings. Her pride, it seemed, was to be one of them. That was how she ended up so tangled on men’s business and their wolfish agendas, the ones who always took and took and took and never gave back. Vasilisa knew men’s nature better than anyone else; by becoming the subject of their uttermost desire, she picked up one or two things. They all came down to that simple, disheartening truth: it was a man’s world, and she would never be anything but a puppet.

As a brilliant child. As a talented painter. As a breathtaking model. As an earth shattering muse. She slipped by the ages, conquering and losing battle upon battle, heart over heart. Although powerful, men were gullible. They would do anything for the right price, for the right amount of attention. For something so unattainable they had no other choice but to thirst over. That, after all, was Vasilisa. A lucid dream, so close but yet so far. She made sure she stayed that way until she couldn’t anymore. Until a serpentine, wistful man twisted her around his finger so tightly she felt like she’d never come up for air again. For three years, she paid the price of being the bane of his existence, being stripped away of her most unearthly possessions: her purity, her happiness and her youth. After that man, Vasya had been nothing but a shell of the girl she once was, with so many big dreams and a roaring mind that could’ve never been silenced. At least until someone made the highest bid.

There was no way to sugarcoat that tale: having an affair with a teacher was not well seen by anyone, and such a relationship like hers would surely baffle any well-adjusted person that ever heard about it. Her beauty became her exchange coin and she made very good use of it, offering it in the hopes that such a talented, brilliant master would share all his knowledge and secrets with her. And so he did: soon, Vasilisa was top of her class, her works evolving maddeningly and becoming something almost untranslatable, a feeling so raw and tangible that even her oldest instructors would stop dead on their tracks to have a look at it. Because that's what the Russian girl had wanted all along: to be recognized by her obsessive, insane art, to be once again put on the spotlight as everyone stared at her for the longest time. And that was what people ended up doing. In addition to staring at her and trying to unthread her, they wondered what kind of things went through her mind to be able to create such exquisite works, her punctured heart bleeding on all her canvases like she gave up a little piece of her in every painting. Like signing a deal with the devil and knowing that a few sacrifices would have to be made. Because Vasilisa painted like unknown forces watched her and urged her to make more of her abilities.

Nevertheless, with brilliance came burden. She felt way too tired of being everything to someone and absolutely nothing to herself, watching her very own essence slip away over the years as her professor pried into her beautiful, pearly shell and left it behind as a marred, lifeless thing. That, however, was until he came along. 

The thing with Benjamin Hong was that she had never, ever anticipated him.

Vasilisa was addicted to control. No matter how miserable, she always knew how she could guide her life and rein it in when needed, but Benjamin was way too unpredictable. He was an art project that too soon and too fast became an obsession, something she knew she wouldn’t be able to get out of her system, no matter how much she tried. It wasn’t the matter of an itch to be scratched. It was a disease, slowly making its way to her heart, its tight ways coiling around her. At first, it didn’t seem like a bad thing, as long as he did things to her that no other man had ever come close: her stomach sank and a thousand butterflies roamed free whenever he was near, all charming smiles and desperate flirting leaving her giddy and happy to have something different, something light, for the first time in her life. Hong breathed life into a body that long ago had lost its sense, and he didn’t even have to touch it in order to accomplish that. Who had once been a beautiful, breathtaking model to a devious painting soon became the one muse she never thought she needed before. Benjamin had always been too much. She just had no idea in what senses that affirmation furthered itself.

He made her want things she never thought possible before: the rest of her days with someone else other than herself, a bond, something other than sad, maddening power relationships that would end up as a disaster as soon as people got tired of her. He made her do something that never in her wildest dreams she had the courage to do: to break things with her professor for good, a night that began agonizing and ended up being the best of her entire life. As he soothed her and promised that nothing bad would ever happen to her again, Vasilisa let herself wish, and want, and wonder. There would never be anyone else but him.

Benjamin had never wanted her for anything other than herself, and that had probably been the problem. No one had ever wanted her that much, in a way it frightened her. To be the subject of his undivided attention and adoration turned out to be suffocating at times. Still, she accepted his somewhat burdening love for she had never known anything else but that. Deep in her heart, Lissa knew that there would never be anything for her but pure madness, raw feelings that made shivers run down her body and understood that, with her, everything was always too much. Just like her art, she lived ferociously, no matter how many times she had to take the fall for the consequences. Again, it had happened, one silent afternoon after a project discussion that had been the cataclysm of a discussion that should never have started. If it wasn’t for her and her impulsivity, he wouldn’t have done that. The fault, when it came to Benjamin, always seemed to be hers, one way or another.

No sound could be heard as he sat still by her side at the penthouse’s cream sofa, the sun having set long ago, plunging the sprawling living room into darkness. Even the sound of her measured breaths bothered her as he waited for her to tell him what had happened a few hours ago, the image of her leaving their teacher’s office still imprinted on her mind, as Benjamin waited for her outside with an expression that could only be described as utter despair. Again, she had disappointed him. Again, she had turned her back on him and done the one thing he had advised her not to, maintaining contact with the bane of her existence. The truth was that Vasya had no possible reason to be talking to that man, but she had done it nonetheless. He called and she obeyed. He didn’t possess her heart anymore, not even by the slightest chance, but the curiosity took the best of her. In the end, it hadn’t been anything but another one of his useless threats, and just then she understood the reason why her boyfriend wanted to tend to that matter instead of letting her do it. Because as she left that office, her head spinning with all the things that terrible man had said, she felt again that sharp pang that sliced through her every time she thought about him, remembering all she had to give in order to make him happy.

Aside from the terrible mistake she had made by entering the office, it was the familiar little pat on her head that her professor gave her every time they said goodbye that ruined everything. And Benjamin had seen it. He had seen how her eyes fell to the ground as the man’s hand slid through her platinum blond hair, making her recoil in pure disgust, so mad at the fact that she had agreed to that again. As she told her model everything that had happened, detail by detail, she made sure to punctuate just how embarrassed and guilty she felt. With Hong, there was no way out but by admitting her mistakes, even when she had never truly done anything wrong. 

“But you have nothing to worry about, my love.” Her shaky voice broke the silence after long minutes of pure silence from him, that wouldn’t give any indicator that had listened to all her explanations until then. Slowly, Lissa made her way to him, threading their fingers together and squeezing tightly. Even the slightest touch made her shake. Even the smallest gesture made her want to cry, because with Benjamin, the delicacy always came accompanied with pain. And that was what Vasilisa felt at that moment: pure, untranslatable pain as she searched for his eyes in the dark, begging for him to look at her and grant her the pardon she so desperately needed. “I made a fool of myself by going there today. I just wanted him to leave me alone, and I thought that maybe he would listen to reason and finally leave me be. I told him we would never see each other again, Venya.” She whispered as quietly as possible, thick, hot tears sliding down her cheeks and ruining her already red complexion, so nervous of whatever his reaction would be. Her boyfriend had a way of turning her words against herself like she had never seen before, a terrible sting that wouldn’t extinguish itself no matter how many days passed by. When Ben snapped, he did it to hurt her, and deep down, she felt like she deserved it.

“Look at me.” Her hands slid all the way up to his face, cupping his sharp cheekbones, all those hard, otherworldly lines hidden by the dark. She got as close as she could, their foreheads gently joined, the undistinguishable pain shining inside those onyx eyes. That was the moment she finally broke down. With her, Benjamin allowed himself to feel, and all Vasilisa ever did was hurt him with her wrong ways and decisions. She cried quietly as her hands circled his thin torso, throwing herself all over him, the only place she had ever found peace. Vasya rocked them slightly as her hug got tighter, a thousand of “I’m sorry’s” escaping from her chapped lips in an unkempt try at forgiveness. She had never needed anything else but him and all his admiration, even though the Russian girl didn’t feel like she deserved it at that moment. “I love you so much. I only have eyes for you, dorogaya. You know that. You’ve always known that.”

And then, when his own arms finally circled her waist and caged her in another one of his tight, painful embraces, she understood just how there would never, ever exist any chance of escaping him and his heavy stare, his regal countenance, his mere existence. As much as Benjamin made her feel miserable at times, it hurt even more knowing that even the mere thought of being apart made her want to die. There was no Vasya without Venya. He would be her catalyst to the end of their days, as they shut away from the rest of the world and revelled in their strange intimacy, that closure that clogged her mind and made it hard to breathe. Love was a blood red slash across a stark white canvas. It was recognition. It was absolution.

[fakecrfan]

:DDD my friend I’m so glad you reblogged this I would love your director’s commentary on Domain of the Unseen, as that fic has living in my head since I read it.

(Domain of the Unseen for the Director’s commentary ask!)

Ohhhh this fic! This one was fun to write. The whole reason this fic became a thing was because I was in the RQ discord server at the time it was revealed that Martin had his own domain. I went “hey!! Probably not possible but wouldn’t it be cool if JON was in Martin’s domain? :DDD”

“Wow what a cool idea tell us more!” said absolutely nobody.

So, thus starved for people to talk about angst with, I had to run off and write fic about it.

She’s in both places at once,’’ Martin finishes. “Both in the burning building, and being eaten alive by insects. Wonderful.’’

“Bi-location isn’t any trouble in this world,’’ Jon says, and there is a bit of a grimace to it. “Not if it means the Eye can squeeze more terror out of you.’’

I had to come up with an excuse to have Jon both be walking the world, empowered, while also being tormented forever in Martin’s domain. Luckily for me, s5 canon runs on nightmare logic, (aka “whatever hurts the most is true”) so I decided that bi-location was a reasonable enough thing to happen in the apocalypse.

“If the Eye can extract terror from you, it will. As you should know,’’ he says. “You have your own domain too, Martin, but you also are—you still suffered in that Lonely realm.’’ (emphasis added after the fact.)

Next is my quick justification for that logic. This world wants to extract more suffering from people. So no one gets out of it completely. 

And then, of course, I imply that this applies to Martin as well. That part of him will always be in the Lonely, suffering. He’s just blocked it out, for a time. :)

But wait! If people can bi-locate, and avatars can be trapped in domains, and that probably applies to Martin, then does it...?

“Wait.’’ Martin knows it’s going to hurt, but he feels like it’s his responsibility to know who he’s hurting. “’Who are they?’’

Who indeed, Martin? Who is someone who you’ve hurt? :D

Martin looks to the figure’s hand. They are holding a tape recorder.

“Jon?’’ Martin asks, afraid.

:)

And then, of course, Jon can’t help but reveal his own unseen hurt.

He thought that he’d wake up to some kind of welcome. Stupid. As though anyone would care. As though he would deserve their care. He wishes they’d go back to yelling at him. He wishes they’d look at him, at least, instead of turning their eyes away.

So, obviously, this is Jon’s... fear of social exclusion based on his experiences waking up from the coma. Now, the thing is--this is the apocalypse. Do I think it’s true that none of the Archives crew cared about him and that he deserves that?

No, and no.

Everyone is cold and sometimes cruel to Jon after he wakes up from the coma, yes. But that’s not the sum total of their actions to him, and it doesn’t mean they totally hate him as much as he fears.

Basira, in canon, brings him coffee, makes sure he eats and drinks, and gets him new, better clothes. Georgie tells Martin that it’s not that she thinks Jon doesn’t deserve saving, just that she’s going to get hurt and exhausted if she tries and she doesn’t believe anything she does will make a difference to him, anyway. Daisy, who clearly isn’t used to being soft, reaches out and makes sure he has emotional support.

All of them care about him. But also? All of them are--emotionally-- at the equivalent of where Jon was in s2. Their allies have died in an explosion. They’re tired. They’re paranoid. They’ve just fought off a siege from a monster who tried to kill them all. They can’t leave the Institute because they get attacked, so they’re trapped living there. And they can’t be any more sure Jon is really Jon than Jon could be sure Tim wasn’t a murderer.

Just like Jon couldn’t be there for Tim and Martin in the midst of his breakdown, Melanie, Basira, Martin, and Georgie can’t be there for Jon in the midst of theirs. It’s just--a sad reality of people, that they have limits and fail each other in the midst of massive stress.

But Jon just--can’t see that?

Jon is still in a bad place and he catastrophizes like a motherfucker. So he sees all of this and he can’t step back and go “Okay, everyone’s really been through it. It’s not entirely about me.” No, instead he goes: “Everyone 100% HATES me, and also it’s my fault! I did ALL of this! I deserve anything bad that happens to me, any pain I feel.”

And of course, the apocalypse latches onto that subjective fear and turns it into its own reality. 

But for all he puts on his kindest, nicest voice, the One He Loves turns away.

And Martin! Of all the rejections that Jon received in s4, Martin’s hurt the worst (or at least, so I posit in this fic.) Because Martin was the closest, because he loved Martin, because he was used to receiving emotional support from Martin and then it was abruptly withdrawn. Of course that is going to sting like nothing else.

But we know, objectively, that everything Martin did at this point was for Jon. That Martin didn’t stop loving him at all! That he was willing to give everything for Jon, even to a suicidal degree.

But even though that’s the truth, it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that for a moment, Jon believed that he was entirely unloved, forgotten, his pain unseen--and he deserved it.

“It’s not true,’’ Martin says.“I know,’’

Jon manages. “Subjective reality, and all that.”

Jon is wiser now, honestly. He has a lot more knowledge and perspective, so he knows that his fears about Martin abandoning him aren’t true. But again--the the apocalypse makes it so that doesn’t matter. All that matters is that Jon fears it. It can turn that fear into very real pain, and make him feel that pain at all times.

That’s what it’s like to deal with insecurities IRL too.

Part of Jonathan Sims will always be here. Knowing this has happened before. Knowing it can happen in the ever uncertain future. Fearing what series of mistakes he might make that could cause him to be abandoned again.

Psychological pain, fear, can hound you at all moments, even over things that are done or aren’t entirely true. It’s true that it is quite possible that Jon will lose more people’s love in the future! It’s possible that Martin will get pissed off and leave him, or that Jon himself will fuck up in a way that ruins everything. These are all real possibilities that can happen to anyone.

And as long as you know it’s possible, your mind can use that possibility to torment you.

That’s what I was using the apocalypse/the fearscapes here to represent, actually. The... continuity of psychological pain. How some fears, even ones that seem fairly normal like “what if my partner leaves me” or “what if all my friends hate me” can live with us every moment for all of our lives, unseen and unknown to those around us.

But the whole thing is making Martin upset, and so instead of saying all of that, Jon puts on his softest smile. It hurts on his face, a pain that sears down into his chest.

“I love you too, Martin.’‘

I’m a bit torn on this. Is it a failure of the relationship, that Jon doesn’t feel like he can be honest with Martin here? Perhaps. But I personally don’t think so.

If Jon told Martin here that he’s afraid of him, that he will always be afraid of him, that loving Martin means that Martin will always give Martin the unique ability to hurt him--would that help? Would it take Jon’s pain away? Or would it just put more stress on Maritn.

So Jon bites his tongue on this one. It’s not Martin’s fault, of course. Martin is doing his best to comfort him here, saying all the right things.

Some things really do have to be dealt with alone. Some pains really do have to remain unseen. Or at least, that’s the conclusion Jon comes to here.

[watch-glass]

Fictober - Regency Era edition

Day five (5/10/21)

Prompt "I'm not saying I told you so..."

It had been two weeks since Barnabas had escaped The Lonely, with thanks to Jonathan. To say that he was still completely emotionally unstable would be an understatement. The slightest thing could send Barnabas into gut-wrenching panic attacks. The house feeling the slightly too cold; Jonathan being gone for too long; any mention of Mordechai. Not to mention the fact that if anything reminded Barnabas of one Jonah Magnus, he would shut down completely. It could be hours before Barnabas would so much as mutter a word again. Jonathan always kept him close during these times. He didn’t want Barnabas to be alone when he was most vulnerable, even if they weren’t in London anymore. They had moved to the countryside a few days after everything had happened. Neither of them wanted to be there anymore. Jonathan wanted to be rid of Jonah and Barnabas could not see the streets of London the same anymore. They just made him think about the Other London that he had been trapped in.

Jonathan didn’t understand much of what had happened. He knew that it had something to do with what the others researched, but he had made a point to stay away from such farfetched things and he knew that Barnabas had too. He had had everything described to him by Barnabas, even if it had taken a while as he could only talk about so much of it at a time before it became too much. Jonathan never forced him to talk about it too much though; he didn’t want to ruin Barnabas any more than he already was. He figured that Barnabas would most likely have some long-lasting mental damage after all of this though that he would not be able to fix. He felt so guilty for that. He was a doctor. He was supposed to make people feel better. But he couldn’t cure the person that he loved the most. Did that make him a failure? No. He wasn’t a failure. He knew that mental health is completely different to physical health. He would just have to accept that the only thing he could do is try and make things easier for his beloved.

The pair were laying on the sofa together. Barnabas had his head on Jonathan’s lap and was curled up beside him, while Jonathan had a book in his hand that he held slightly to the side of Barnabas’s head. He did this so that he wouldn’t block the view of the man’s face below him. He looked different. His eye colour was slightly duller than before and there were patches of his hair that were lighter, which gave them the illusion of being shrouded in fog. Jonathan didn’t mind though. He thought that Barnabas was just as handsome as he was before. Barnabas was less accepting of it though. He couldn’t bare to see himself in the mirror. There were multiple times that Jonathan had found him collapsed in the bathroom, his face hot with tears as they streamed down his face. He would always have to hold him on the floor, whispering words of comfort to him as he sobbed into his shoulder.

Barnabas shuffled around where he was and buried his face into Jonathan’s thigh; it was clear that he was trying to get his lovers attention. Jonathan closed his book and put it down, before running his hand through Barnabas’s hair.

“If you continue to shuffle around like that, you will fall off of this sofa.”

“I won’t. I will make sure that I won’t.”

In no more than a few moments, Barnabas had shuffled around again and, like Jonathan said, fallen off the sofa.

“Now…I’m not saying I told you so…but I told you that would happen.”

Jonathan moved off of the sofa to help Barnabas back up and before long, they were sat next to each other again.

“Are you alright, dear?”

Jonathan leaned over to give Barnabas a kiss on the cheek, which caused his lovers face to flush light red.

“Y-Yes, I am quite alright.”

“Are you sure? You hit the ground quite hard.”

“I am sure, love. There is no need for you to worry.”

“Alright, I will take your word for it.”

Barnabas shuffled closer to Jonathan so that he was tucked up against him. Jonathan put his arm around his lover and held him close, before giving him another kiss. It was slow and delicate, their lips barely touching. But it wasn’t long before Barnabas had been manoeuvred to sit on Jonathan’s lap and the kiss turned to one of passion and heat. Jonathan had his hands placed on Barnabas’s hips, holding him where he was. They stayed like this for a while before they both ran out of breath. Jonathan pulled away but kept his hands where they were.

“Does that prove to you that I am alright?”

Barnabas’s voice was laced with smugness, and he was smirking.

“I suppose it does, but I may have to perform a physical examination.”

“Maybe you should do that now.”

“Not here, come on, get off of me.”

Barnabas shuffled off Jonathan’s lap which allowed him to stand up. He grabbed Barnabas’s hand and pulled him up, before promptly disappearing into their bedroom.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The two lovers layed next to each other, staring up at the ceiling. The only thing that could be heard was the sounds of their breathing. Barnabas rolled over and buried his face in Jonathan’s arm. The blanket that was over them kept them where they were as they ached for the warmth it supplied. Barnabas was clearly on the verge of falling asleep as his breathing was beginning to slow. Jonathan would probably be awake for longer though. He didn’t mean that. He would get to see Barnabas sleeping peacefully, and that was always a nice sight.

Whenever Jonathan could see Barnabas in a state where he wasn’t worrying about anything, he longed for that moment to last forever. Sleep wasn’t even an escape for Barnabas most nights. He had frequent nightmares that would cause him to wake up screaming and shaking. But it looked like Barnabas would be alright tonight. At least, Jonathan hoped that he would be alright.

It hurt to see Barnabas so upset all the time and he resented Mordechai and Jonah for what they had done. He resented Jonah the most though. While Mordechai had been the one to cast him away, Jonah had betrayed Barnabas. He had ignored him when he cried for help. Barnabas had been so crushed. He was always so devout to Jonah, so he didn’t understand why he was ignored. Jonathan told him to not try and ask him though. And for once, Barnabas listened to him.

Jonah had sent letters to both of them. Jonathan never read them though. And he never let Barnabas know that they were being sent. He didn’t want Barnabas to end up reading something that would send him spiralling. He was done with Jonah’s lies and his schemes. He had ruined so much already, and he would not let him ruin anything else. Barnabas was safe now and he wasn’t about to let that change.

[1littleshippergirl1]

Percy x OC

Percy had no time for romance. 

He said it often enough now, whenever his mum or one of his siblings brought up the subject again and again. Because it was usually brought up again and again. He knew she meant well. She only wanted to see him happy like his other brothers and sister were. He was grateful for that, especially after all the rough times between them. Honestly, he didn’t even deserve that much from her. 

But back to his lack of romance. 

She was beginning to not take what she deemed as an excuse for an answer any longer. It wasn’t an excuse, but she--nor the rest of his family, much as he tried to convince--wasn’t listening. She felt he was using that as a crutch and had been since Audrey left him. He wasn’t, thank you very much. It was not a crutch. Definitely not a crutch. How could he think of dating right now? That was so far off his mind. He had two daughters to care for. They needed his attention and love more than another woman did. 

Why didn’t anyone understand that? It wasn’t that he intended to put it off for the rest of his life. Merlin knows he greatly missed the championship he once shared with Audrey. Yes, it would’ve been nice to get out again but now just wasn’t the right time.  He couldn’t be off gallivanting for a woman; Molly and Lucy were growing up and he wanted to have a front side view of everything. They were his number one priority, as they should be. He refused to be like those other parents; the ones that were concerned with their social and romantic lives than their own child. Honestly, it was entirely irresponsible of them. Those people didn’t deserve to be parents. 

Now that the girls were older and into their teenage years, he was feeling immense pressure from the family to settle down again. His mum was especially bad at this. She’d been dropping not-so-subtle hints that some friends of hers had daughters or nieces or goddaughters who were single and adored kids. George had asked him if he was planning on getting out there again. Even Oliver offered to introduce him to some ladies that played on Puddlemere or from an opposing team. 

Each time, Percy flatly told them he wasn’t interested. 

What was the rush? He’d inwardly sigh in exasperation. Why did he have to be in a relationship with someone? Couldn’t he just enjoyed the rest of Molly and Lucy’s youth before he started to look? Charlie was older and he only just married his long time girlfriend that most of the family didn’t know he had until a few months after the war ended--that had been a source of major gossip within the family. His mum was not pleased to learn they eloped when they came by the Burrow to announce it. Charlie ended up running outside, yelping when their mum tried hitting him on the backside with her slipper. 

He appreciated that they cared. He really did. He just wished they didn’t care quite as much. Let alone having the audacity to speak of the matter in front of the girls during one Sunday dinner that he should have stayed home from. Now they, too, were concerned about him being alone. That was the last thing he wanted and it was the last thing they should’ve been worried about. They were young; he wanted them to soak up every bit of their adolescence as they could. Not fretting that he wasn’t with anyone. 

Furthermore, he wasn’t alone. Everyone else might think otherwise, but it was true. He wasn’t alone. He had his daughters and that was enough for him. Why did he need a woman to feel happy? Why did have to be looking for one? It was rubbish, that’s what it was. Completely, utterly rubbish. They assumed he must be unhappy, longing for that connection he once had. It would have been nice, he could admit. Not the worst thing in the world. And if he managed to find one, if that were occur, who said things would last? Percy didn’t have the best track record when it came to relationships. 

There’d only been two in his lifetime. The second one wasn’t even supposed to have happened, if he was being honest. It sounded harsh, but was the untold truth. He was happy it did, though. That second relationship gave him two of the most beautiful girls in the world--and he didn’t care if he was being biased or not. Still, it wasn’t how he envisioned things turning out. His first was with Penny and that was short lived.

They’d broken up shortly after their seventh year ended. She was accepted into the St. Mungos healer program. She worked tirelessly; working sometimes a number of weeks straight before getting a short break. He was just starting his position at the Ministry. They went days without talking. No letters, no meeting up for some butterbeer or lunch. No dates. Nothing. He hadn’t meant to ignore her at the time. He’d been caught up. The beginning of his unfortunate downfall. If only he could travel back in time and smack himself before he spiraled down too deep... 

At some point, she did start sending him letters again, cordially asking if he would join her for lunch. He never responded, being so distracted with work and feeding into Mr. Crouch’s demands. She eventually came to his office, shutting the door behind her, standing there for seemingly an eternity before blurting out the words. 

They were quick. Like ripping off a bandage. 

She admitted that she thought it was best if they broke up. He was in the midst of paperwork, simultaneously having a quill charmed to take notes beside him. He never even looked up. He was that engrossed. Only when she left in tears that he glanced up, feeling a twinge of guilt. But he’d been too embarrassed at what he perceived to be the only failure of his that he kept it from his family for the longest time. Just knowing that the twins would pick on him for it, especially for the fact that it was Penny who broke up with him. She didn’t give much of a reason other than she didn’t feel the spark anymore and gave a measly excuse that they needed to focus on their respective careers. It’d hurt, more than he felt he could bear at the time. It was partially the reason he threw himself more into his work. It was an escape. A reasonable one, he’d told himself. And until he was standing there in front of some of his family, nearly about to go on his hands and knees to beg for their forgiveness, he didn’t see a problem with that. 

And then there was Audrey. She was supposed to be his happily ever after. That soured shortly after Lucy was born, but he supposed it began to go downhill prior to her becoming pregnant with Molly. Which led him to now: single. Not where he expected to be but he was there all the same. No use whining about it or trying to hastily change that fact. 

He thought of himself as being single for a long time. Perhaps forever. 

Little did he know what fate had in store for him. 

~~ 

Percy was wearing his favorite work robes. The robes were sky blue; a color that his mum affectionately said matched his eyes. George said the robes made him stuffy and uptight--when their mum glared at him, his brother held up his hands in surrender, claiming he was merely joking. He still liked them. They were incredibly soft and a smidgen more casual than his others. He wore these on Friday’s, a day that it so happened to be. After he finished his shift, he decided to not go home right away. The girls would be fine. They were having friends over and Molly was at that age where everything Percy did was seemingly embarrassing and going to ultimately ruin her social life. 

He usually had to refrain from snickering. But he did it. He was a good dad so he didn’t even though he wanted to. 

About fifteen minutes after leaving the Ministry and walking through Diagon Alley, he found himself standing in line at Florean Fortescue's. The line was moderately long, with Percy having to be all the way back at the front door. He was the last person there, which was fine. He could wait. He felt he deserved a treat after the tough week he dealt with. And it was such a nice day outside, he might as well eat it here. Maybe pick up something for Molly and Lucy as well. 

His head was turned to idly look at the bustling people out in the Alley. It wasn’t as horrendously busy as it was during the few weeks prior to school starting, but it was enough for a Friday. Just as he turned back to look ahead, something--someone bumped into his chest and immediately there was an ice cold feeling soaking through his robes, nipping at his bare skin. He gasped, startled, staring down at the chocolatey mess that was now smearing on the material.

“What on-” The words died in his mouth at the sight of the young woman in front of him. She had to be around Ginny’s age, perhaps younger but not by much. Not to mention- 

She was pretty, he could admit. 

Her hair was like Lucy’s; blonde and up in a high ponytail on the top of her head. Her eyes were hazel and just the way they looked, made her seem so innocent. She must have had muggles for parents, judging by the t-shirt and pair of shorts that reminded Percy of what Oliver wore the majority of the time he wasn’t in his quidditch uniform. 

She didn’t seem embarrassed by her accident nor did she widen her eyes in horror like he would have done if he was in her shoes. On the contrary, he blinked when she took the cone off his chest and licked at the remaining ice cream like nothing happened. 

That was....odd to say the least. 

“Sorry about that,” she chirped.  “I wasn’t watching where I was going. Do you ever get lost in daydreams? I do. That happens to me a lot. My friend, Randy, says if my head wasn’t screwed it would fall right off. Isn’t that funny?” She let out a giggle that was probably too loud for being out in public, kind of obnoxious but also sort of...endearing. “Isn’t it such a lovely day? I love sunny days. They’re so pretty. Do you like sunny days, too? I think most do. Oh, you have a stain. I’ll take care of that. Here.” She brandished her wand and with one smooth flick, the ice cream vanished. 

Percy was rendered speechless. She’d said all that one long breath without taking a break. Not to mention she certainly wasn’t shy. “Er, it’s quite alright and, er,  thank you.” 

She distinctly reminded him of Oliver again. Oliver had talked the whole way from Kings Cross to Hogwarts on their first train in first year. 

She slapped a hand to her forehead in a rather dramatic fashion. “Oh, goodness me! I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Abby Adams! What’s your name? You  look familiar. Have we met and I just forgot? That's possible. I forget sometimes. Than again, you look like you’re hard to forget.” To his astonishment, she giggled again and a bit of a pink flush came onto her cheeks. 

For a moment, he didn’t know how to respond. His blasted tongue was flimsy and he deliberately ignored the smirking teenage girl who was serving people at the counter. It didn’t even register that it was his turn to order now. But the girl wasn’t bothered by that. She was enjoying the show, it seemed. “Percy,” he eventually managed to say. “Percy Weasley. We might have gone to Hogwarts together.” 

Her eyes lit up with recognition. “Oh you’re a Weasley! That’s right. I was in your sister’s year. We didn’t really talk much. I didn’t have many friends at Hogwarts. My best, best friend is Randy. He’s a muggle but he knows all about magic. I told him. He liked reading my textbooks. I remember you were Head-Boy. Everyone thought you were annoying but I didn’t. I thought you were interesting. Do you still talk to Oliver Wood? I remember you guys were always together. He plays for Puddlemere, not that that’s a surprise. Am I right?” 

“Right,” he murmured. 

She took a glance at her watch. “Oh, darn! I’ve gotta scatter. Break’s almost over. Bye, Percy! Enjoy your ice cream!” She flashed him a smile as she exited the shop and apparated away. Percy kept staring at the last place she stood until the girl at the counter hummed and he blushed. 

“What’s up with him?” the girl said out loud. 

An older bloke who was nearby responded. “Well, I’d reckon to say he’s in love.” 

Love? No. That was preposterous. 

....Or was it? 

 ~~ 

This is part 1! I’m gonna go through different moments between them. 

[wrathfulmercy]

“ i'm so used to you being here. of holding you close, kissing you good night... “ (assassin)

Characters going to bed and waking up together from here

“Mhmm.” Just a mumble from his mouth while he kept looking at her, his finger continuously dancing along her face cause it was the only thing he knew how to do. Talking on the other hand or emotional confessions weren’t something he felt comfortable with. How did it even work? Was he supposed to tell her now that he wanted this? That he wanted her to stay forever? Even if this was something he felt, he was too aware of the fact that it could end anytime. That any kind of deeper connection could be dangerous for them and exactly destroy what they could enjoy in this moment. Rick stopped making plans for a future, he was living from day to day because it was the only way to deal with it and therefore he couldn’t make any promises. Nothing that could ruin something that was so sacred.

“It’s easy getting used to this, but I’m not sure if I want that. Aren’t we keeping these things more precious if we don’t take them for granted? Not get used to it?” Maybe he said too much, like he always felt when he opened his mouth for unnecessary words. Damn, he just wanted to lay with her, feel her under his skin and not think about where it would lead. “I just…” Too much. He was too much and the words he chose were probably the wrong ones and the sadness in her eyes just proved it. Why was he such a failure in this? “I like this. That’s all I wanted to say.”

After a deep breath he snuggled closer, his legs swinging over hers to feel her even more. “Don’t stop.” he whispered, his eyes closing as he lowered his head to her chest, so she could wrap her arms around him and kiss his head, her fingers running through his curls. El wasn’t only beautiful and loyal or kind, she was a light he found in a darkness where he didn’t know where to turn anymore. And while he lacked in words, she showed him how to do it and allowed him to be weak in her presence, the only person he could let his walls fall to cause she would never stab a knife in his back and even if, he would be able to defeat her as long as the knife was in his back and not his heart.

Yes, he got used to this too. And in fact he never wanted to lose this again. How she took care of him, how she kissed him, caressed his skin as if he was worth to be praised. But after all sometimes it seemed still like a dream which he was afraid to break like fragile glass if he just would move too much, say too much and that’s why he stayed silent. Silent in her arms where he could be small and broken like he was all this years before meeting her. It wasn’t him who protected her alone, cause she gave him all the power he needed to grow into someone he thought he was never able to become. And with her? Everything was possible. How could he ever get used to that?

@xgoldxnhour