#faikel talks

[atrixfromice]

The other day, I mean yesterday ( we mexicans say “the other day” to refer yesterday usually *chuckles) I was complaining and feeling upset thinking how I've seen there's little to zero male pinup illustrations that actually would appeal to an hetero girl.

At least on my experience I'd say that zero, cos in the male pinup I've seen they pose and dress like girls! XD The poses or/and the outfits look so girly & sissy and that’s awful! It's actually a huge turn off! :( 

So this is why I decided to finish this sketch, and voilá! Hope you like my modest contribution to male pinup art! :D

His hair it’s the coolest thing here still I think!

Curious facts:

Faikel’s species stop growing in their late 20′s, and can experience “the stretch” in adolescence like humans, but also in their 20′s.

This is Faikel beween his late 20′s and early 30′s. 

a.k.a. the same age as her, so she drew this to not feel that old *chuckles*

  Hey howdy my dear! Glad to see you here ^^

Wait....Hey no don’t believe him! I didn’t draw this for that reason! XD I just wanted to practice male anatomy.

He was short like his girlfriend until he was 23. 

His hair is long cos in his homeplanet long hair it’s...

 - Gee’rox.

Thankies!

- No problem heheh, you know I always like participating in giving curious facts about me and my homeplanet culture and folklore. :D

Yeah, well as I was saying, in his home planet long hair-

- Gee’rox!

Gee’rox pues! XD Long hair in Gee’rox it’s considered a sign of beauty, health and good sex appeal...

- And sometimes social status! Don’t forget that!

Ah yeah, sometimes status.

- Social status! Also, tell peeps this includes both in men and women, even kids! 

In fact...who doesn't have a long hair in Gee'rox, and specially in my home city, may want to hide their head on the ground out of embarrassment of being considered ugly and a loser because it’s their only option LOL

Yeah...*chuckles*

I was going to say all these details in other ocassion, but thanks Faik.

Un plaisir m’ija! ^^

Another curious fact: 

The freckles I drew them here because in his species, with the age freckles tend to pop up. 

-  Or if you already had them, they tend to become more noticeable

yeah but-

 - specially on the face, neck, back, butt and hands.

But I..*sigh*

 In my case, for example. I hardly had them when I was younger, but with time they kinda started to appear and not only on my face, but there are also some on my back and my-

Faikel, Faikel, Faikel! Hold on!

oui? I mean, yes?

Faik, you know nobody loves when you help me in the “curious facts” section more than I, but for the love of Gaia! I mean God! Remember this section needs to be as concise and quick as possible so people don’t get bored!!

oups zut! Yeah you’re right! sorry about that! I haven’t participated on this in a pretty good while so I was so excited I got carried away, heheh.

heheh no worries, I’m sure there are peeps here who enjoy reading you. Oh and what do you think about the drawing I did by the way?

Oh I think it’s truly awesome! I look a lot more handsome than what I actually look like. And I’m very grateful you’ve deciced to keep the cloth piece as censorship at the end! Because if not I wouldn’t have been able to show my face arround here anymore *blushes and giggles nervously*

 Heheh you’re welcome! I know it was the best to do cos you’re shy in nature. I wouldn’t draw something that would make you feel uncomfortable or anything.

Mmmhh and now you’re here “dando lata”...Why don't you tell our tumbrl folks what are the changes that occur at puberty in your species that we humans don’t have? Uh? :D

Oh gee! heheh *ehem* 

No I think I’m not good at that! *blushes and giggles sheepishly* I think you’re waaay better explaining that part! In fact I’m so sleepy right now so I’m going to sleep bye tumbrl folks!

Heheh well, what I can say? I know my faikel *giggles* Sorry for the long text but I hope you’ve enjoyed these curious facts  ^^

[atrixfollies]

Good Gaia Indeed! *giggles*

I think I’m having so much fun with this phrase right now, heheh!

Here’s a little story board I made for fun with my ocs just cos it was an idea I had wandering un my head since December 2020. And now my brother lends me his pc for a while I made this cos I don’t want to forget the idea. Also cos I’ve been having craving so badly seeing Faikel saying “oh “Mon Dieu” and “Good Gaia” on this specific cute context…cos I’m a hopeless romantic and I adore this ship! LOL

I have to say, at first I wasn’t going to publish this, I was going to keep it for myself cos I feared pushback from people, since this is not like what I usually publish…Also because the drawings are rough. But I shared it with good a friend today, and he told me it was very cool and that there are artists who publish rougher comics and they have 4k followers, and that is true, I’ve seen it. So he gave me the confidence to share it ^^

Also, he recommended me not to write a wall of text every time I post an art piece/comic cos he says it’s better if the art talks for iself, and if people want to know more about the characters they will ask for themselves, so here! I hope you like!

I’ll just add this for the ones who started to follow my blog recently and don’t know the basic premise of the story of these characters: The boy is an Alien who came to earth to learn from human culture and he’s an aspiring artist. And the girl gave him a home when he had nowhere to go, so they are roomies and he sleeps on her sofá. But she’s not very organized with her stuff, so she leaves the clothes on the sofa or the chairs. And this is why he found her tank top on the sofa XD

[atrixfromice]

This is the saddest thing that have happened to me ever.

Hi my folks!

Hey...

sorry about my lack of art lately! I owe you an apology... I wasn't sure if talking about this, but I imagine that sooner or later it will reflect in my art anyways, so, I thought I'd talk about it a bit.

I think I've spent a lot of time trying so hard to befriend this guy I found last year's December and I fell in love with, that I've spent the very few free time I have (when I wasn't looking for a job) trying to befriend him. But things didn't really turned out well for me.

I imagine you would like to hear the end of this story... though.

Well, time passes and I thought I had at least catched his attention, because he started to follow me on Twitter. So I felt myself lucky and I thought to take the advice that my mom and Faikel gave me, and to try to get closer to him to form a good friendship and after that to tell him about my feelings for him.

So that was my plan. And I thought it was a good one...it seemed like a good plan.

...But today I went to see what was new on my social networks, and saw on his Twitter a post about him meeting a girl a couple of days ago, and announcing they were dating.

Which it's strange to me cos it's a person who appeared from nowhere, recently joined to twitter and has only 1 tweet O_O And if you look for her on other sites on the internet, there's nothing. In my case I know him since last year's December.

In any case. As you can imagine...this is probably the end for this story.

And the end of my hopes to find a true love...

Cos you know, I'm one of these peeps who, when they fall in love, their heart belongs to only one person. So this probably means...

...that I'll be all alone for all the rest of my life.

I feel devastated! This news broke up my heart into very tiny pieces, and I think they cannot be repaired...

And honest to God I don't know what to do!

What I should do now? Should I keep following him and trying to cultivate the friendship? Or should I just unfollow him and remove him from my social networks, to not suffer in the future?

Why God let's these things happen?

What I can do to take away the pain?....

Also... I can't help but wonder, if I picked up the wrong advice, I mean, if I was too slow and I should have told him my feelings like @chateaudecoolette advised me, instead of waiting, like my other friend, my mom and Faik advised me.

I wonder if I'd have had any chance with him, too. I mean, seeing how much I struggled to make him notice me, maybe I wouldn't have had much chance with him anyways. I think if he was in love with me whe we met, he would have payed me attention since the beginning and talked to me...and that didn't happen.

One doesn't choose to who you fall in love with...it just happens.

...But one can choose what to do if things don't come out well for you and you're not loved back.

I do love him, with all my heart! And I only wish for him happiness and that all his dreams come true! And of course, I'd like to become a good friend of him one day. And I'll always love him and support him, even if he never love me the same way. Bev's that's how true love is.

So I pray right now... I pray for God's wisdom.

I pray so he can give me the strength and the wisdom to do the best thing for him and for me...the one that would help me to find peace and solace in my heart...

[atrixfromice]

A bit of happiness despite the difficulties of life!

I just would like to talk a bit about something that happened recently on my personal life.

A couple of days ago I found a very nice and heartwarming art community, where there's a lot of graphic art and writting of one of my favorite subjects on art and writting that I'm into but I have never found much people to share it with. ( A subject that I'm not going to mention cos believe me, I know none of you are into it so it will be awkward on the best case, and you wil not want to talk with me anymore in the worst)

It's like a guilty pleasure cos not much people like it, and most of them think it's awful...in fact is like when you tell someone that you like Don Bluth Films and they say "What?? But these movies were awfully bad!!" *chuckles*

There was a lot of cool people and the art and writting seemed to be good, but I couldn't access without joining, so I joined.

At first I felt a bit shy and out of place because, well I'm shy about this subject in particular. But now I've spend a couple of days here, I genuinely think this have been the best choice I've made in my whole life! Because I have found, not only wonderful art, but really wonderful and mind-blowing writting!

I usually don't like to read as much as I like to see comics. But I think it's because I haven't read something really good in a good while.

Today I read an story about this subject written by an amateur artists that blown my mind. It was really awesome...So lively, so full of feeling and with so much detail!

So I was so happy and excited to have found this beautiful piece of art that I commented on it to give my feedback. And after that I read what I've just posted and I found myself laughing like a madwoman, when my brain said "you just compared an amateur writer writting with Molière!!..Geez! You must have been longing for a well written story of this particular subject!"

It was even funnier in person in fact heheh. I think I might make a comic about this with my characters faikel and Atrix, I think it worths it! XD

And I think the comparison with Molière wasn't overreative or just because of the excitement of the moment. Actually it was a really awesome and well narrated story! The narrative was super cool, it made you feel like you were the protagonist of the story.

It reminds me of another great writer who also is worthy of Molière...

My dearest friend and mentor @jenniferstolzer

She also has this with kind of awesome and mind blowing way to write that makes you feel like if you were one of the characters of the story you're reading.

I'm not sure if I have it myself, though... people have told me my writing is mediocre and boring...but surely that reading that story made me feel like writing again! So maybe I'll write an story soon. I don't know.

Although not today cos it's late at night and I feel I should rest...I haven't slept in two days! XD I mean nights.

I think I just wanted to tell to you peeps this anecdote about what happened on this new art community, because I'm so truly happy about it, heheh.

[atrixfromice]

I drew this cos, you'll not believe it! But it's because I spent most of my afternoon today from translator to translator and also aksing random people on the internet if "Gaia", "Gaiah", "Gaya" and "Gea" sounded the same or different phonetically! LOL

No kidding, it was something I needed to be sure about, since I'm going to use one of these words on my comics, and I was planning to use it on my animation as well. At first I was going to go with "Gaya" because I love this word a lot, but there's a Gaya already in an existing film's universe. So with all the pain of my heart I had to discard it cos, if my animation becomes well know I don't want to have trouble with copyrights sues from people who made that film later. It's not sure they will do that, they might not because the word will be used in other context in my case, but I don't know, film studios people are weird. I prefer not to take the risk.

So I was hesitant to decide between "Gea", "Gaia" and "Gaiah", but I put the words on various translators, even in one who is called "translate and speak" that it's recommended cos it tries to talk like real people, and I didn't liked the sound of "Gea" for this particular use of the word, as an exclamation expression. And I confirmed that the other two sounded cool, but in "Gaiah" the "h" doesn't have any sound, so is not necessary, is just there to make the word sound fancier when writting it XD So I finally decided to phonetically write it as "Gaia".

And I was so happy to finally (after 15 years! LOL ) having this decided and settled, and specially and mostly because I’m so happy to have the official voice of Faikel saying "Oh my Gaia!" and "by Gaia!" on a pilot test (voice demo), so yeah make fun of me if you want and say I'm overreacting....but I can't help saying it's freakin' awesome how he say these expression his their (her home planet's one) Goddess Gaia in different contexts! It’s all what I ever wanted for him...is even more than what I ever wanted or dreamed for his voice!

So, yeah thanks to all this I felt inspired to draw this little thingie hehe ^^ I so much wish you could hear it....And I wish I could hear him saying "Good Gaia", (that one phrase missed!) on a voice demo, but I'll have to wait until the animation is done, sadly. And mostly, I don’t share this first test precisely because that one was a test; it was recorded with an smartphone and not with a professional mic. Cos if you remember my oddysey with the microphones, I wasn’t able to find any good qualty mic nor send any mics to the peeps who were working with me at that time.

So I fear if I share it the way it is, you’ll not be able to totally enjoy the voice, since the voice is a bit distorted due the background noises. OR WORSE! You will think it’s awful, because is is distorted. I would really like that the first time you can hear Faikel’s voice can be on the best quality possible and with animation, so the experience can be cool!

Faikel was a character who challenged all the stereotypes and preset roles Western society have and they are used to see, all of them. How an alien should be, how a fictional character should be...and most important, how a man should be!  It invited to reflection and would have made people to think about how they expect someone act of some way because of their gender, color of skin, origin.

I created him to transcend the fiction. I created more than what I imagined at first. I created a character with fears and dreams, flaws, kinks and quirks, one that real people can love and be reflected in, and get relate to! So that’s why I would do anything so he can be introduced properly!

And I will...I hope...

By the way, if you ask what happened with my internet, well, my smartphone still doesn't recognize the wifi, but I bought some gigas for my smartphone to at least be able to post some art from time to time. And I made this on artflow for android. Oh and yeah I know faikel's eyes and head are a bit off...But Indulge me at least just this time and say it's a nice! Remember it's almost 3am in the morning and I spent my night ( because my afternoon I spent it solving that Gaia thing XD ) and part of next day morning drawing this, and I just got an emotional breakdown a couple of hours ago.

Oh and if you were offline or for some other reason you lost the anecdote about when Faikel got his voice, and why all this "Gaia" thing, feel free to go HERE and HERE respectively to read more.

[atrixfromice]

I can't get over the fact my time for animating is getting over.

I just...sorry I had to write this. I can’t sleep thinking about how, I still can't get over the fact all my animation project went to the drain...

This time I was sure I was all the tools to do it! I had the time (due quarantine) the software (even if it was flash that is the worst software to work with, but I had it XD) the inspiration...How I should have guessed that my laptop was going to crash and die??!!! How?

And I think what hurts me the most, is that the few people I've talked about this with don't understand why it was important...

They.. They just say "it's not important, it's a character nobody knows and nobody cares about, you can make this animation you were planning later when you can get your computer fixed or have the money to buy another"

Yes I could.. But the problem is I'm no longer 15 or 17 years old!

When will I be able to bring my characters to life? In teen years when I will be 40???!! I have a cronic back disease that is intractable and progressive, and vision problems. When I'll be 40, I will probably not have the same quality of vision nor the same physical resistance. I will not be able to spend hours illustrating (in the case I decide to make comics to let people met my characters) or animating. RIGHT NOW I can't spend as much time illustrating as I used to when I was 17!!!

If I was a healthy person on her 30's, it would be ok, I wouldn’t worry about waiting 10 years more. But this is not my case.

I live in constant pain, every day, all hours a day, and pain killers don't help me anymore since a long while ago. There's only one time when I can forget back pain, and it's when I'm going to sleep. But I don't sleep well because my mind worries and wanders with the thoughts of personal art projects I've not yet done. My mind worries with the thought that in my case, time is running out for me since I turned 15 (when I realized I had that disease) my useful life is running out. There's no other 10 years more for meto wait for.

I've tried all the doctos in my city, and nobody have been able to make me feel healthy again. And I have no money to go to a bigger city to see an specialist. I'm a 30's grown up woman and I have not yet made any of my goals/life projects or dreams in life. I have no loving husband to make love with, no octopus pet, I have no place to live that I can call my own, and I have no job since March 2020! And most important, I have not yet made people to meet Faikel and my other characters as I would have liked.

And this is scary! And when I think of all this...

I don't like to think of that, cos when I think of that, I feel like I want to jump off every bridge or high building I see. I want to pick up all the pills I in the medicine cabinet of my house to finally stop suffering physically and in the heart.

An sometimes I wonder...why... Why god gave me this disease?... Why...Why doesn't He give me a sign about how to fix it?...Or at least making it less painful so I can have more time to make comics and animating in the future?

I want more time! I'm still not ready to stop my art...

Sorry, I know you don't want to hear this...and that you have your own life problems too. But I just felt like...I was feeling sad in the heart, and scared, and I needed to write this to get to feel a bit better.

And I do feel better! Even if the situation is the same after writting this, at least I feel a lot less sad that there are folks who care about me here. I think that's a really cool thing I'm really happy about!  

And at least you've seen and known my characters, even if not much in form of comics/animation, but at least in form of illustrations. Which it's also cool I guess.

[atrixfromice]

Hey howdy folks! Hope you’re having a good saturday!

...Someone is into Back to Gaya fandom?

No...sorry then! It was a very busy day today, and I got not much time to draw, so I decided to take this time to practice drawing Buu, because I still can’t draw well the characters to save my life! Even, in the rare case Ambient Entertainment hired me to make a sequel of this movie with 2D animation in the future, they would have kicked me out because the characters don’t look like themselves! XD

Is this species in general that gives me trouble, the ears and nose is just...AARRRGGGHHH! so difficult as hell to draw!! XD So I’m praciting drawing buu’s head, because I want to get better to do a cool fanart!! There’s a huge lack of fanart from this movie since the fandom is small. In fact, is the smalles fandom I’ve been in, in in fact...3 people, not counting myself, no kiddin! And one of the fans, the one who draws the characters better, broke my heart when I saw the movie for the first time and looked up for fanart about it, cos never replied my feedback on their art pieces on dA...

 After almost 10 years they’re still there you know...my comments. And they will  stay there for posterity I think, hehe. I like to think maybe it was just a shy artist...and well, actually this artist retired form art very soon, because of an iliness. So I just...I thank God the artist didn’t deactivate their account, because the art is really cool! And it’s wonderful to still being able to see it.

I would like to make my own fanart too though, to express my unconditional and fervent love for Buu, and the movie and it’s universe and folklore. And well, yeah in part to health and close that cycle, and no longer feel sad for that incident, and move on.

Oooh and yes I had to make him say “good gaya” in this sketch because I’m a sucker for original exclamation expressions! XD....I love them! And his voice!!!

Oh mon dieu, that voice!...

By God! It’s the coolest, sexiest, most heartwarming and cute voice I’ve ever heard, in my entire life. Even, after watching the movie in English I wanted so badly that my character Faikel sounded like Alan Marriott as Buu. Because something like that is the voice I’ve imagine for him when I created him So, yeah if you read comics with faikel in it, imagine it’s Alan Marriott while I find someone who can give him a voice, hehe.

By the way, I’ve always thought Gayan ears defy gravity *chuckles* They surely aren’t made to bend like they do on the animation, or on my sketch, but I drew it anyways because it’s cute XD

Oh and you know...origjnal exclamation expressions, they give a lot of feeling to character’s dialogues, and characters in general, but well, I’ll talk about that other day, I’ll not bore you with a long text here, hehe.

[atrixfromice]

Funny thing I just discovered and I feel like I couldn't miss the opportunity to share.

Me:

Whenever I write "freedom" after it my cellphone always suggest me "fighters", and I don't know why...

My conscience aka faikel:

It could be because...you've been written "Freedom fighters" way too often m'ija!

So yeah, my cellphone thinks I spent my time talking about the freedom fighters! 😆

[atrixfromice]

New Phone, awesome features and new game!

Hey howdy folks! Hope you're having a good Sunday!

I'd like to share today a good news, I received my new phone so now I have internet again!

And this one is really great, is not a Samsung or an iPhone, is a shaomi, but has a lot of cool features and the graphics of my games run very well.

Also, this one has "Google voice assistant", a feature that my other phone didn't have. So now I can write notes and reminders with voice! I've installed both, english and spanish in my settings, I can talk with both and it works fine. I tested out Googling with my voice, I said "look up Back to Gaya" and it was able to recognize what I was talking about! :D It even gave me the title on which was aired in Mexico.

Also it has locking with face and digital print recognition, and panoramic camera! Another cool features my old phone didn't have.

New Game

There was a few games by default installed in and in one of them, so I tried a couple of them, but they were boring, and one of them was giving me ads over an over about a game called Rise of Kingdoms, so I thought it looked interesting and probably was going to be fun, so I downloaded it.

I think it's a bit too soon to write a review of it, since it's been only two days I've been playing it. But it's very fun so far! It's a game about building up a Kingdom and battling about others, while evolving into civilization at the same time, and throughout the history.

I liked a lot that it has a wide variety of cool things to do, not only to battle; but you can also build up a city that you can decorate, have your farm, collect food, explore and claim the new lands to expand your territory, and get the chance to get interesting characters based on historical people from Roma, France, Great Britain, Japan, and a lot of other countries. And level them up to make them stronger.

There's also a part where you train your leaders on the battle so they can become stronger before battling. And the graphics are really enjoyable! Here some photos of my city and the characters I have so far.

And I think what I like the most about it, is that you don't need to buy stuff with real money to level up and progress on your gameplay! You can win gems and game money on battle and on special events, also they give you a daily reward for playing a bit everyday.

Oh also you can make an alliance or join to one. I did mine and it's called Aldebaran, like the constellation. And Faikel is the leader! Heheh. Because why not? Faikel is like my Mickey to Walt Disney, my Bugs Bunny to Warner Brothers XD

It's still small cos I have recently made it, so there's place, so, if some of you love this game of are on it, come join. You just have to write the name on Alliance window to research it, like in the photo.

There's a limited place of people we can accept, so just send me a message saying you knew I was in this game for this journal with your request to join the alliance, and I'll give you priority over the other people who I don't know but would want to join.

I think it would be really a lot more fun to play online with friends who I know like you, rather than people who I don't know. And it's been a while I can play a game online with peeps on live since my pc doesn't run well games because it's so old, and now died! So, it if you join to Aldebaran I'll be super excited!! ^^

[atrixfromice]

This might sound like a silly question, but is there something you regret having done on the artistic field?

Oh don't worry, for me there's no silly questions, all questions are great questions and worthy to be answered! And this one is particularly interesting! :D

Frankly, I've always thought I had no regrets on that regard, it's until now I received this question that I started thinking about this XD

...Mmmhh...

In fact, in regards of art I have not much regrets, because all of the tests and good or bad experiences that I've had in the art field have made me flourish and grow up as an artist, and learn a lot of things. They have helped me to become the artist I'm now. And I'm happy and grateful for that.  

I think if I regret about something, I regret more the stuff I didn't do that the stuff I did.

I think I regret of only two things actually.

The first: I regret of not listening my instinct and not having made a contract on my first art job opportunity.

When I was on collegue I met a teacher who worked on the collegue I was studying, who wanted me to illustrate a kids book he was writting. He made me read it, and I liked his story very much, and he seemed to be very nice and

understanding about me doing this for him on my free time cos I had also college classes, so I felt happy and excited to work with him. I should have been mistrustful with him I think. But I think I’d never have been able to predict what was going to happen next...

He said that as he didn't have much money at the moment he couldn'tpay me, but that he was going to "promote me on his social networks" and "give me my payment when the realease of the book could give him earnings"

I actually suspected of that, something deep inside me screamed it was just too good to be true. I rememmber Faik told me "no don't do that! No without a written contract, I feel there's a cat locked up in here" (the equivalent of the phrase "there’s something fishy here" in english) and he was right. Oooh so right!

To make the story short, the end the guy made me work for free off classes on my free time, for 1 month! I made a few illustrations for his work and later, not only he never promoted my artwork on his social networks as he promised. But he finished his book but didn't published it because "at that time he had "no enough money and publishing a book was very expensive" (as he said) so he never payed me any of the work I did!!!

Of course, I was very upset and I insisted him to pay me, but we had no contract, so even if I had tried to sue him, I think it wouldn't have helped. At the end he blocked me from his social networks and since then we never haved talked again.

The second thing I regret:  Is the fact of having spend a lot of time on kid and teen years making art and writting about the physiology and biology of my alien characters, instead of taking care of the other aspects of my story.

Because now I realize that nobody is interested or wants to know about that!

I was a shy girl, a science nerd with no friends who would want to hang out with her because they considered my hobbies and tastes odd or silly. So I spent my years my childhood and my adolescence creating histories and characters in hope to one day publish a succesful graphic novel, comic book or animated cartoon, and like that attracting people who would share my personal tastes and passions and be friends with them.

An that was a good idea in itself, but I think I didn't organize well my priorities.

I was so dumb and naive to think something like that would ever make people feel interested and excited to know about...

I mean, instead of passing most of that time drawing and writting about how the nervous system, the osseous system, the reproductive system, the reproductive organs, the the circulatory system, etc, was going to be. Now I realize I should have spent my time working with the plot, sceneries, places, and spaceships designs, and drawing ALL THAT out.  

Because, let's face it. I think these kind of little details are cool cos they give realism to a sci-fi universe, but is because I'm a dork! LOL

An average person doesn't care how an alien pisses or eats or breaths, or have sex, or how their reproductive organs look like. Or how their brain works.

Average people don't want to know why Faikel's feet can step on water without sinking, or why Nathius can jump up and fall from a 3 meter high without breaking his back.

The majority of people just want action and adventure and cool sceneries and landscapes on their sci-ci movies and shows. And to leave the rest to the imagination.

So yes, I regret a lot about this. I regret deeply.

Specially now I have to redesing Polaris (the spaceship that had no name but now it does), Anthur (the space station where Polaris will land on), Geerox (Faikel's planet) and Patch (Nathius planet) Tuloc (the planet where the other two aliens who are main characters in the crew come from), and The space patrol hidden Headquarters. And I'm spending a bad time with this because the older desings and art concepts I have for them are awfull! They're sooooo awful!!! XD They are from when I was 13 years old and they make me feel embarassed as hell! XD

And that is what I did draw, now imagine  all the other places/sceneries I have to do FROM ZERO because I never put my ideas for them on paper!

So yeah, that's all what I regret of, hehe

I think the lession I learned from this is: 1. To always make acontract when working as a pro artist. Or at least think about it before doing it without contract.

and 2. What people want to see the most on their sci-ci lore and folklore is cool spaceships and sceneries. And the rest they prefer to leave it as a mystery or unknown.

...I just wish someone have warned me about this! XD

[atrixfromice]

Today I did a drawing I haven't yet finished, but I'll finish it tomorrow cos I'm trying to go bed not so late to have a regular sleep schedule, since the last I was sleep deprived for 3 days (when I tried to make my animation) I felt very ill. I had vertigo and nausea and I couldn't eat a whole day.

Well..honestly...this one's is of these doodles I sometimes do for my own amusement because I'm fond with this couple and I like giving some deep to their relationship, but I keep for myself cos sometimes people don't like these kind of drawings. So I'm not sure if I'll finish it... I wasn't even going to share it! XD...

...but I'm so happy and excited about this cute and funny drawing I can't help but share it! XD So for this occasion I'll make an exception. Cos honest to God I loved Faikel's surprised expression and his pose on this sketch, it makes me smile and warms up my heart! ^^ And makes me laugh a lot too! 😆

Also for the panel with atrix, this is the first time I make this kind of perspective from above and I think is not bad for my first try. She's supposed to lift up the smartphone with a hand.

And talking about smartphone, the stickers are from my new smartphone, my default photo editor has them. I thought it was s good way to censorship. 😆 Also I liked that "wow" one, I had fun with them.

This is what happens when you're at work and your wife sends you a "hi" message with a video to keep the romance after 7 years of marriage! *giggles*

I felt inspired to draw this cos I was talking to a friend who asked if they "do something sweet to each other to keep the flame of love alive after they got married" and I thought it was going to be cool to draw something about it. So, yes they do, but sometimes it turns out to be a bit of an awkward situation for Faikel, like in this case, for example, heheh.

Oh for the ones who don't know the lore of these characters: At some point on the story Faikel works at giving classes to prepare space patrol cadets so they can get the basics to help and rescue others in distress. And Atrix works as a linguist but not on the same days. So this happens on this part of the story's time line.

But don't worry, the ones he gives classes to are like elementary school Earth kids, so they probably will never figure out what happened XD

They're not like the little boomlets from today, but more like 90's kiddos, like me. Those who were naive and free of malice.

[atrixfromice]

It’s “beta testing” time again.

Todat I talked about one of my beta testers about my saga space tale, and talked about maybe turnig it into a comic, because I’d like to have visuals on it. I think I like reading, but I’ve always been infratuated with comics, and I think this story in particular can be cooler and more “amazing” to people in form of a comic than in a book format.

I’m feeling very down and discouraged today though, cos I shared what I have been writting last year to fix the plot holes, and the script for the webcomic to one of my beta testers, who said, that there were STILL some plot holes on the story I needed to work with, that I should justify some of the character’s actions and behaviors and I should work on my sci-fi universe names. We talked a bit more, to at the end I was being told it seems I didn't know the message I wanted to transmit there in general.

“It seems my beta tester doesn’t like my story or characters..or sci-fi in general. Or maybe I’m actually really bad at writting?”,  I thought at the moment.

.And on top of that, just right after that...my mom comes and calls to talk me about laundry!!!

Can you believe that?...Laundry!

If I do my laundry by hand or by machine or take it to the laundry, and when I do my laundry or how often, it’s my bussiness. I’m an adult. I don’t unterstand why she can’t understand that. Plus, I’ve always done my laundry by hand so to not have to waste money that I don’t have on Laundry machine and pay for it.

I don’t think she was being mean on purpose, but I did got a bit upset and down because of that incident, and I don’t excuse her behavior. I mean! She talks me about laundry when I was trying o make a ref sheet of the main villain of my si-fi story, and right after I just realized that problaby all of the work I’ve been done for this story for almost two decades haven’t worth the effort! Because my story had “plotholes” and I have to work on it to fix them. Which means, that I’ll not be able to publish it as a book even on this 2021 as I had planned!

Oh and for the record, my beta tester was wrong on that last point. I DO know what is the message I want to transmit with this story I’m writting!!  It’s that there’s no bad or good, right or wrong, but everything depends of the eye of the beholder. I want to let people know that no individual is totally good or totally bad, but there’s always some negative and positive feelings inside everybody, rand it’s by controling the negative feelings and acting with the positive ones, that we can be...the best we can aspire!

However...It’s very difficult to post all this on a single story....but I'll try to not give up about sharing it with the world! So I think I’ll separate it on short stories, like short comic strips maybe. I’ve been thinking about it today and I realized, that one might be a better format than to dwell on the intro of the sci-fi universe that actually than, while I had a lot of fun making it and I think it’s really great...it really doesn’t serve to any other purporse than as a mere decoration.

Because, you know...

The original SpaceTale daft wasn’t called Space tale. It was called “My dear artist friend” and I didn’t have anything to do with space, or aliens, or sci-fi.

It was about a lonely nerdy girl from a poor family, fan of sci-fi and cartoons, whose mom worked a lot and never was home, and whose father was alchololic and beaten her up...and her imaginary friend, that she named Faikel.

And the story was about how his friend Faikel helped her to cope with and face all the difficulties of her life. And how he, encouraged her to keep arting and creating and dreaming and not giving up and shine, despite her percarious economical situation, family problems, and despite of bullies on school and others who she met and who were a jerk to her and tried to crush her dreams of being an artist and earning a place on the pro artists field.

That one who...

..Who likes to say "oh mon dieu” when being excited and amazed because it helps her to express her feelings better...that one who always dreamed to make animated cartoons.

But when I had 14 I think, I changed it! And I made it about space and aliens cos I thought..

...Because I thought the first story was going to be too much for people. And they would not like it because they fear of the new, the unknown. And at the time I thought it have been a good decision and the best choice.

But today I received that critique from my beta tester, I think I've had an epiphany:

And it’s that, if there’s plot holes on the story and if at some parts it seems that it has not much sense, there’s a reason for this!

Is because that is not the real story!

That is not the original story, is not the one I would like to tell and share with the world. But the first one. The one on my first daft is the story I want to share. So. probably making it about aliens and sci-fi was the biggest mistake of my life!

The alien one is the one I’ve worked for the past 10 years though. So what is done is done, the alien one is the one I have very much almost finished.

So, I guess I’ll have to have to continue with it...but maybe I don’t know, maybe I could equilibrate it adding a bit of the real, I mean, the details of the first story.

And well, just cos I would like to know, and cos I think it will help me a lot with my story plot to ask y’folks this question:

What would you find more endearing and interesting to see? The story about the alien friend, or the story about the girl and her imaginary friend?

[atrixfromice]

People say artists draw what they have experienced, or what they dream of...in my case is the second. I dream one day to have a sensitive and caring husband who love me for who I am, all the days of my life. That's why I adore drawing this cute couple! They always transmit a lot of tenderness and love, and it always warms up my heart to draw them when I’m having a bad day, or simply whe I would like to make something heartwarming, tender and romantic. And of course, french couldn’t miss, it makes any romantic scene even more intimate and romantic! ^^

This was my first drawing of October, here I was testing my markers and I thought I made a good job with them. Also I choose them for my markers test cos I feel a bit sad sometimes, cos there are no fans for this couple. Although I can understand it...these aren’t popular characters, and I haven’t drawn very much about them other than illustrations of them wearing clothes, hehe.

So that’s why I made this drawing, I would like to give people a more romantic side of them, and present them like a canon couple! :D

Oh by the way, do you know about the “antennas”, what they are for?...ah nevermind. I think I give up on talking about them. XD After all, I tried, I tried a lot in my illustrations and their respective descriptions to give “hints” to make people feel intrigued and interested on wondering why were these for...even, I gave you an excerpt from the graphic novel I was making so you could know about faikel`s biology, which nobody read, by the way. (and maybe I made a mistake handing it like this)

So I guess nobody is interested of knowing more about this blue alien dude?..Should I just keep writting their story and then publish it later?

Honestly I’m clueless on that respect. But I guess in one hand is better this way, cos you would figure it out in the course of the story when my book will be relased. :)

Oh by the way, for the ones who don’t know (in case you don’t know) the language of Molière is the French. I always wanted to write that on a dialogue! heheh

[atrixfromice]

Amazing event gives me back my joy of living

a Today I couldn't do much cos electricity was out for maintenance and it's until now it just came back. I felt like I was a bit tired because I  But I have this super awesome news I want to share and I can hardly contain my excitement about it OOOOHHH MON DIEU!!!!

OOOOH MON DIEUUU!!!! Even..

...I even don't know how to start! XD I'm so happy and excited I think I'm going to die from happiness and go do heaven! Sorry, I'll breath deeply to calm down a bit lol

Ok, the news is I've been starting doing a cool artistic project regarding my original characters. And what inspired me to do it was the most wonderful, incredible, awesome thing ever:

Is that I'VE FOUND VOICES OF SOME OF THE ORIGINAL CHARACTERS I'VE CREATED!!!! :D

The characters from my webcomic Laura Laurent, his mom and his day, and also for other of my stories...

I'VE FOUND FAIKEL'S VOICE!!!

Yes! THE VOICE!

The one I've always imagined in my mind and I've always dream to find it since I created this character! And I feel sooooo....so full of energy, excitement and ecstasy since then.

And how I found it? Well, is a long story but I'll try to summarize to not boring you with a long text.

I've always loved to make voice acting. When I was a kid and a teen I used to have a lot of fun with my siblings emulating voices of our favorite catoon characters. And also when told them bed time stories I used to talk like the characters I was reading about LOL

I did it on school some times, and my teachers and classmates were amazed at how good I was for some of them they said XD

I also liked animating.But I always kept it to myself and the peeps who lived in my city.

I actually thought about sharing it online, but then unfortunately, I found someone who I appeciated a lot and I looked up to, who was very harsh on my voice acting and animation, that it made me stop doing both for a good while.

But I came back to make voice acting demos a few months ago, when covid made me lost my job and I got broken up, to cope with my depression and loneliness regarding love and my worry of not being able to pay my bills.

But it was until a few days ago I actually thought of sharing this kind of work I do (animation/voice acting) with the world.

Everything started because I had an fervent carving to hear one of my characters saying something cos I thought it was going to sound cool. So I tried recording myself as my character, and then I shared the record to a friend, cos

he's one of the few people I know who enjoys talking about voice acting.

And I was so excited when he told me my voice as my character Laura was very cool! Then he suddenly he said, "hey pal, if you want I can help you with the male voices" because I have told him before what happened with Pierre, Jupiter and Laura's dad, and that I had no voices for them yet. So I said "oh thanks buddy!" and we had a lot of fun sharing each other's records, and he even recorded me something in real time about how he think a couple of my characters would sound like, and I said yes "this is the voice I imagined for these characters."

And that inspired me start working on an animation for a short scene.A couple of days after that, I talked to another friend about my animation, who was so excited to help me to make the voice of other of my characters. And I was so happy! You can't imagine!

I'll just post this here as a souvenir for posterity:

On Dec 15, 2020, one of my greatest, coolest, most longuest dreams have come true! To find the perfect voices for some of the original characters I've created.

And It gives me a joy that is inneffable and I never thought I’d find, because now I don’t need to imagine how my characters voice could sound like.

I don’t need to to research and listen to every show and movie to see if I can find a voice that sounds more or less like the one I have in mind for my character, or like the one but feeling bad cos I know I’ll never have the money to pay that actor or actress.

I don’t need to imagine nor yearn nor wonder anything...

....Because I can hear it!!! :D

I can make my characters say whatever the heck I want them to say! XD And that, that  in itself is priceless!

Is so amazing, freeling, and spiritually rewarding, cos it makes you feel your character is alive! Even without animation, because the voice in itself it’s what conveys the majority of a character’s personality. I feel so at least.

Plus, right now with having found the voices, I finally I will be able to bring my characters to life in animation as I always dreamed.

So yeah, make fun of me and say this is silly and I’m overreacting with my emotions in this post. And I know someone will say that ( it never miss the insensitive one on the internet who will says that) But most of you will never know what is like to have a dream, and spend more than two decades working hard and looking up for the tools to make it true.

I have already a couple of audio records for this project, but I'll not share them until the animation is done, because doing so attracts bad luck and bad omen! XD

I'm not supersticious, but I’m smart enough to learn from my mistakes and past experiences.

I still remember what happened when I shared the voice demo I had for Pierre! And whom I shared to told me it sucked (You can see the story HERE ) and that really broke my heart cos i DO liked this voice, and it discouraged me to animate Pierre.

So at least I'd like to my happiness the most possible, and having fun working on this project. And when it's done, if I share and people are mean with it and say it sucks and it’s annoying or that the voices sound like Edd Whyn and it’s annoying. It will be not that bad cos least the project will be done and I'll have been enjoyed it and have been had fun with! And nobody will take that away from me ^^

P

Plus, I don’t think  I’d ever find any other thing that will give me happiness and joy of living like this one! This is helping my hurt and lonely heart, little by little.  So let me enjoy for a while at least *chuckles*

[atrixfromice]

I don’t know why but I always end up falling in love for the really awesome but very underrated and unknown character in every darn franchise! XD

I was thinking today about it, and I reminded that when I was a lot younger, I used to get upset about it cos there was not much people who I could talk about my favorite characters with.  I commented this to my friend Faikel when I was younger, and what he told me….I’ll never forget it.

I told him that was awful and I felt like I must have the worst luck ever.

“No, isn’t bad luck, it’s good luck!” He replied. With an atonishing confidence. “There’s a reason why you are an artist who always loves the coolest but underrated characters. To spread the love for these characters and make them known. You’ve been born for that, is part of your purprose on life, it must an honor and  joy.”

At the time I didn’t fully understood what he meant…And I hardly believed it even XD Not because I didn’t believe him, don’t get me wrong, but cos I myself didn’t consider me a good artist whose works could earn people’s hearts.

But now I do.

I understand what he meant, and I’ve witnessed it with some of the fanart I’ve done, like the ones I did of Wilt from foster’s home for imaginary friends. And I always try to remember these words in the darkest days, like right now. Cos it makes me feel  a lot better!

Funny thing, I spent all my afternoon, and all my night doing this. I hope it worths the effort! It’s very rare I can make a comic like this on one afternoon, but I think I was inpsired! Hehe. I just wanted to give my friend some sort of tribute I think, it makes me happy :)

[atrixfromice]

They, they should change the names not me!

One funny thing that happened today. I was just browsing my inbox on my social networks and I saw a lot of mentions of a “faikel sempai” and I thought to myself “Oh wowie! Is my Faik so beloved that people call him sempai? that’s really cute” So I saw the post and then, oh déception!! when I realized they were talking about another "faikel” character, that is not my Faikel!!! Is a character on a videogame! XD

Just today also learned that “Nature’s guardian” is a flea killer brand, a lawn bussines, and an Attack on world of warcraft XD

Appart, I did know some time ago that “Atrix” was a hands cream XD But then what do I have to expect now?

Now there will be Laura Laurent, Rita martinez, Pierre Jacques that will be either brands or people that doesn’t have anything to do with my comic?

I think I will not change any of my names for them, it took me a good good while to think about them and I love them!

So they, they are the ones who should change their names, not me! XD