#faffs smart time

[jumpingintothefrey]

I present Soltime art I made a while back uvu

[corrodedcoughin]

You always go the extra mile to make sure people know you appreciate them for interacting with you through asks and whatnot. I just hope you also know that we appreciate you as well! Which is why we interact! And I can't speak for anyone else but personally I dont have "better things to do" right now as I'm sending this ask. Just eating chips (an ever-ambiguous snack).

Anon, you do have something better to be doing. And that’s tell me if it’s British or American chips. Please, inquiring minds (me) want to know

[pearlzier]

✫ ૮꒰•༝ •。꒱ა british slang for my bae @zloveon . . .

taking the mick/piss — mocking / ridicule ( eg. someone going too far on/beyond. )

dodgy — suspicious

pissed / plastered — drunk

knackered — tired

a few sandwiches short of a picnic — lacking common sense

bagsy — dibs

a bender / gone on a bender — non-stop drinking and doing dumb shit

bob's your uncle — like. after explaining something which is easy but sounds hard you say it LMFAO

budge up — move over

chinwag — a chat / gossip w someone

dim — someone who's not that smart

bright — someone who's quite intelligent

faff / faff over / faff about — wasting time and doing jack shit

gutted — incredibly disappointed

nick — steal

shambles — gone to shit / a total mess

smarmy — sleazy / untrustworthy

spanner in the works — something that disrupts how an event was supposed to go ( eg. threw a spanner in the works )

splash out — spend a lot on

waffle / waffling — basically yapping

whinge — whine / complain

wind your neck in — get out of someone else's business / stuff that doesn't concern you

[theblue6ook]

Our Stupid Smart Kids

Summary: Y/N’s interview didn’t exactly go as planned, but don’t worry John and Alfred have got it all figured out. [B (23) & Y/N (21)] [Eventual slow burn with Bruce]

Pairing: Bruce Wayne x fem!reader

a/n: Well hello there. If you liked this story, it’s a part of my “Out of My League” series. There will be more to come ;)

Alfred had known John a long time. He’d known him since Bruce’s Gotham Academy graduation gala, which he pleaded not to attend. The florist had a mishap, and John and his wife Dorthie picked up the slack and had several arrangements sent over to the manor for free as a way to introduce their new business. Alfred reimbursed them, of course, but he also highly respected them.

They’d often catch up during lunch or get coffee. They’d been meeting up more frequently since Dorthie passed away, and Alfred was happy he could be there for John. Currently, they sit at The Little Cafe, a French-styled coffee emporium only a block away from his Flower Shop. Alfred's choice, of course.

“I just don’t get it, Pennyworth,” John started, mouth half full of a chocolate croissant. “She’s so god damn smart, and I’m not kidding either, but she just can’t - ugh, I don’t know.”

“I don’t know what to do with these bloody kids either,” Alfred shook his head, sipping his tea. They’d often do this, talk about the respective people in their lives. Alfred would pick John’s brain now and then about what to do with Bruce without going into too much detail, and John would do the same about Y/N and Carrie.

John swallowed hard and went in for another bite, "She is stubborn as hell. I know something's up, but it's like she would rather die than tell me. She's such a pill. It's ridiculous." 

He inhaled deeply, shaking his head as he looked out the window. 

"Don't get me started on stubborn," Alfred rolled his eyes. "Trying to get Bruce into the office is like playing a game you can never win. He'd rather faff around."

They sat in silence for a moment. John finished the rest of his croissant and didn't take his eyes off the road. Alfred could tell John was in deep thought. He appeared to be doing some sort of mental calculation. Eventually, John sat his coffee down in a serious manner, leaning back into his chair. He finally looked over at Alfred.

"How long have we known each other?"

"Does it matter?" Alfred leaned forward and chuckled. 

"I know, but let's say it's been about seven years, give or take," he grinned, "In all that time, I've grown to trust you as you have to me."

"What is this about-"

"Now," he interrupted. "I know we have a silent agreement not to pry, but I think we could help each other here."

“What do you have in mind?”

"Well, Y/N has way too much on her plate to be worrying about bills, and she's great at bossing people around," he smiled. "Your Bruce clearly needs someone to tell him what to do and has more money than he knows what to do with. You see where I'm going with this?"

"You want me to give her the assistant's job," Alfred grinned. "If she needs help with money, I could always cut her a check-"

"Oh god no," he laughed. "She's too stubborn for that, but she would get him working."

"You would think," Alfred looked tiredly down at his tea. "They all end up quitting eventually."

“You don’t understand,” John smiled. “After Dorthie died, I was a mess. Didn’t eat. Didn’t sleep. The store was in shambles. Then, Y/N came back from school. She put my ass into gear. She a fixer.”

Alfred looked hesitant, “I’m not sure, John. Master Bruce can be persistent, to say the least.”

“Alfred, all I’m saying is if the Mister Wayne needs to get his shit together,” he grinned confidently, “she can do it.”

[feroshgirlsims]

Chapter 1.1 - Bad Dreams Are for the Birds

[POV: ALICE]

Alice isn’t late, exactly. She’s just operating on a slightly different schedule than the syllabus demands. 

And this running she’s doing down the university’s cobblestone walks? That’s for cardio—which she could probably improve if she smoked just a little less Purple Haze. But the Purple Haze was medicinal for all her non-cardio-related problems, so, see, it’s impossible not to have it. 

Besides, a little panic is good for the spirit. It gets the heart pumping and the blood flowing, and if you ignore all the ways the cortisol getting pushed through your veins makes you want to throw up, it sort of feels refreshing.

Yes, refreshed—that’s what Alice is—not sweaty and overwhelmed and wishing she hadn’t left registration to the last minute because now she was stuck with an 8 am class.

Or what would be an 8 am class if she could’ve gotten herself out of bed instead of sleeping through her six alarms. But that wasn’t her fault because her dreams were weird as fuck and kept her up all night. She can deal with nightmares, but sad dreams are for the birds. And she can’t even remember what was so devastating, only that she feels like she lost something.

Shaking off the melancholy, she turns to the entrance of Psyded Hall and freezes when the doors fling open and students begin pouring out.

Motherfucker.

This is not how the final year of her MFA is supposed to go. She’s supposed to have her shit together for reasons she can’t even begin to enumerate until she’s had some coffee. 

Trying not to let her inner turmoil show on her face, Alice marches across the quad to The Bean Stand and asks the barista to hit her with a to-go cup of mocha-caffeinated goodness. It’s a splurge—10 simoleons—but after this stressful morning? She’s more than earned it.

And it's not like she was paying for it. That was all courtesy of Cyrus Martin and the credit card he gave her, which her mother didn’t know about because money led to her parent’s divorce. 

—that and her father’s now-wife, the former Alice Spencer-Kim-Lewis. Or, as Alice liked to call her, the “Homewrecking step-monster who deserved to slip on some ice.”

Technically, her father deserved to slip on some ice, too. Who the hell had an affair and named his daughter after the other woman? But her feelings about him were more complicated. 

To be honest, her feelings about both her parents were complicated. Her mother, Valeria Pierce, is driven, ornery, and smart, and Alice is just like her.

Except in all the ways she isn’t.

Like how she dreams too much, hates being pinned down, and often feels like a grouchy little gremlin who doesn’t want to do anything except enjoy excess and faff around. Alice likes art and photography and loses track of time trying to pinpoint the right angle for a shot. She doesn't have reasonable interests or practical skills. Her grandmother once described her as “all-heart,” and it was not a compliment. 

Frankly, save for being hot-headed and stubborn, Alice isn’t like her mother at all. But musing about her jacked-up relationship with her parents and all the jacked-up decisions she’s made because of it isn’t on her to-do list this morning. 

Heading into the Britechester Commons, she searches for a good spot to hunker down. A flash of red hair makes her panic—

But it’s not her ex, so she takes a deep breath, tries to slow her heart rate, and curls into one of the armchairs. 

She tells herself that it’s only September, and there are still plenty of opportunities to turn this hot mess train around. Tomorrow, she’ll start getting up early. And today, she’ll make her first step toward putting herself out there again. Jeffery—yes, that’s how he actually spelled his name—was not going to define her relationships. 

Sex life. 

Relationship?

Shit. She still hasn’t decided if she’s just looking for a hook-up to get her back in the mix or a sim who’s worthy of a long-term commitment. 

Maybe both? Alice tends to make decisions based on deadlines and vibes, and this one won’t be different; she’ll just slap a profile together and see what happens.

PREV | NEXT

[thezombieprostitute]

To the Rescue

A/N: Never been to England so I apologize profusely for getting things wrong. I've also never written for Gaz before so feedback is appreciated. I've had this story idea for a long time and tried multiple characters for it. Gaz was the first one that felt right.

Warnings: ex-boyfriend angst, mild language. Please let me know if I missed any.

You were shaking. Colin, your ex-boyfriend, had made a scene at the office, in front of so many people. You shot him down, gave him nothing, and eventually got him to leave by threatening to call the police. After you were sure he couldn't see you, you collapsed in the closest chair.

Lily, your best friend and coworker, was immediately sitting with you and praising you.

"Fuckin' tosser wasn't expecting you to fight back so 'hard. You were brilliant!" She paused for a minute when she saw you were still shaky, "you gonna be okay?"

"Feelin' wonky at the moment," you confess. "But I will be okay. At least until I have to go home." Lily gave you a confused look so you explained, "I'm worried that prat'll be at the bus stop."

"Tell ya what," Lily replied, pulling out her phone, "I'll call my brother, he's a military man, and get him to pick us both up after work."

"It won't be too much of a bother?"

Lilly chuckled, "not at all! I know exactly how to get Kyle over here. You get on back to work and I'll meet you at the front before quittin' time."

"I'm likely to not be doin' much but faff around," you admit.

Lily gives you a hug and assures you that that's more than enough after the day you had.

At the end of the work day you met Lily. She agreed to wait inside until she saw Kyle's car pull up and you started to walk out. You were almost to the vehicle when you heard your Colin yelling. Out of habit, you freeze but Lily keeps pulling your arm.

Not happy with being ignored, Colin got louder and walked faster. You were so focused on trying to get yourself moving that you didn't notice Kyle had gotten out of the car and was moving between you and Colin.

You looked up when Colin stopped talking and saw Kyle, standing tall and looking fit. He didn't even have to say anything for Colin to take a step back. Kyle turned back towards the car and opened the passenger door, "ladies." Lily helped you into the car and you moved to the other side to make room for her. Kyle closed the door and turned back to Colin. Again, no words needed to be said as he stared down Colin before finally getting into the driver's seat and getting you all out of there.

Gaz kept his eyes on you in the rear-view mirror. His sister was right, though he'd never actually admit it, you were pretty. Pretty strong, pretty smart, pretty nice, pretty patient (you were friends with his sister, after all). But you also looked pretty tired so he would wait to flirt with you.

"I'm in town all week," he said. "So, if that git shows up again, at all, you give me or Lily a ring."

"Or," Lily interjected, "you could just give us a lift to and from for the week."

Gaz thought it might be overstepping to offer but when he saw your eyes light up, he nodded his agreement. He was looking forward to getting to know you.

[firespirited]

new phone going well so far. I'd forgotten how much of a faff it is to get everything to work

1 - When you're using 2FA: you need a code sent by email but you haven't set up that email yet. You need the code to set up the thing that'll get you into your emails. No, you're not getting my mobile number, thankfully the old phone works while kept charged.

2 - 12 different security alerts + 24 notifications because you used a different phone to use some app that has access to nothing important.

3 - Removing google. tentacle sucker by tentacle sucker in 4 different places. Oh hey what's this left swipe to my phone home screen?! no I don't want the news by google, what even is its name to disable it?

4 - Incremental updates. the OS has changed a few times since late 2017 but we're going to download the full 1.5GB for half hour then pretend we're up-to-date, then repeat. Thank goodness i'm on Wi-Fi, slow Wi-Fi but still - my mobile plan only has 100MB a month.

5 - We said we synched/cloned your preferences but that was a lie: firefox (no adblock, new sponsors on the homepage), swiftkey (different languages, layouts, font size, privacy settings reset), anything google related.

oh well at least it's ten times easier than trying to disable the spying on a smart TV.

but for a moment there after I'd cloned my hard drive (remember how windows said that was a bad idea and it turned out fine?) I forgot you can't just clone a phone.

I intend to make this beautiful little thing work For Me so on we go to probably hour 8 now, of multitasking while it does it little updates and I roll back whatever privacy settings got reverted and remove bloatware. I could of course flash the thing but it'd take that much time in research and being sure I'm not bricking a nice working phone. not ready at this point.

// This is not helped by the nerd infighting on which stripped android os is better.

I don't mind the stupid usernames I ran win7 super unfucked haxxor edition by touhouhusbando or whatever for a few years but seriously, researching is like "here is the one, the real deal, the bestest": three notes down "btw I'll have headphones working in a month or so - sent in 2022" //

Update 7, we're now upto 2020 the last couple have been 4gb. I should have probably rooted my phone and flashed darkjoker's super android stripped extreme (or whatever). OTL

[oracleofsecrets]

REVERSE POPULAR HOT TAKE ON UHHHHH lets go with an easy one and say nrmt, a second easy one for aa girlies in general, and if u want hard mode, tell me something nice about godot >:))))))))) blocking and/or killing me is not an acceptable response to this request

Omg hiiiiiiii

Okay okay aa girlies first. The assistant-types are all super fun and really liven up investigating and stuff. The unparalleled power of “hey are u seeing this shit [protag]?” And also the web of bonds that grow between assistant and protag and beyond is so integral to the story. Like where would we be without the Fey-centric (trilogy) cases? OR Trucy?

Plus they are all so smart like. The one time Phoenix doesn’t have a weirdgirl with him in court he loses his badge. Coincidence??

There was a post I saw the other day about Ema being the Humble Mediocre in a sea of child prodigies and like. Real. Baby Ema is trying to show off her smarts, which is hit or miss. Then she’s a detective working a job she hates and faffs about with forensic science stuff on the clock instead (iconic). And then she Does get there finally so it almost feels More impressive bc she wasn’t immediately amazing at it

Nrmt… Their dedication makes me SICK. Also there are so many possibilities within. They hate each other, they’re obsessed, they’re besties, they know Exactly how to hurt each other on purpose if they wanted to, they’re yearning, they never want to see each other again, they’ve been married five years, they’ve divorced three times, they’re Partners, they’re not Together but they’re not Not Together

Godot design is pretty cool, I can’t deny that. It’s also kind of funny that this is yet another prosecutor who just Hates Phoenix Personallu so much and we don’t even find out why till like the end of the game. So the rest of the game you’re like what are you fucking talking about when he says stuff like I’ve come behind the grave to do battle with you or whatever

[a-la-folie-et-plus]

Live-blogging my first time watching SAW

- oh shit, starts off full on

- my phone’s on 28%, when it dies I have to stop watching because I’m not doing this on full attention

- NO HEAD! NO HEAD! (Early 2000’s gore is surprisingly bearable)

- why is Laurence Gordon kinda…

- I’ve made it through 6 minutes!! Only 1hr37 left to go and then I can say I’ve survived watching SAW

- what if he just…didn’t play the tape lol

- Adam! (The vine reference…it’s…funny to me)

- oh Lawrence KNOWS they’re gonna kill each other

- puppy dog eyes my beloved

- bathroom’s a lot bigger than I always thought it would be, honestly shit’s SPACIOUS

- if they could just waste as much time as possible trying to get this cassette player that would be great thank you

- honestly what did Adam do

- you could just slide the tape but go off I guess

- it would suck to be Adam, like imagine not being the main character, just being brought in for some guy…objectification

- follow your heart —> kiss Adam

- aww the heart on the toilet it kind of bbg, at least he gave them deco

- Adam why would you pass him the hacksaw. He is trying to kill you.

- great job Adam, now only one of you has a weapon and it’s the one actively trying to murder you.

- workers of the world unite, the only thing you have to lose is your…feet

- I mean, I think he died because he got sawed in half, just a crazy guess

- HE TORTURED A GUY BECAUSE HE TRIED TO KILL HIMSELF??

- maybe I’m just dumb but like how does the razor wire kill him? What even is razor wire

- that is not a jigsaw piece, that is a misshapen lump. Let’s not reach at times like these

- if I were him I would just have like…not picked up that candle

- cancelling Jigsaw for not normalising mental illness, I’m getting problematic vibes from this guy

- getting homoerotic vibes from him painting a naked man’s body with flammable liquid, like…did he NEED to be naked? Or was that just a want.

- hate to say it but Gordon kinda looks better all grimed up

- oh that’s that one guy! He’s in like every crime show. This man has Stable Employment.

- short break to flex my unshackled legs, charge my charger and turn on the light

- honestly this is still fine, more interesting than horrible

- someone survived? People can do that?

- how come she got the horrifying bear trap and all they got was ankle cuffs? Kinda sexist ngl

- make your choice?? I feel like it’s a pretty easy choice

- oh shit that’s a grenade

- so wait how did she survive? Surely that’s impossible

- girl now is not the time to faff around

- OH WAIT HE’S ALIVE!!

- she could’ve just killed him, honestly that’s on her

- I’m pretty sure she’s evil but girlboss, honestly

- here comes this fucking guy, Jesus Christ

- girl he did not help you let’s be real here

- lightheaded from nerves but I’m half an hour in

- my smart little detective bb Adam

- this is the most fun I’ve had without lubricant lmaooooo Adam tell em

- if he kills the daughter I’m gonna riot. I better not see that fuckass puppet right now

- he’s kinda a good dad, like that was cute I can’t lie

- is someone gonna ask the daughter what the man said to her?? I feel like you would definitely at least ASK

- I’m a good chunk through this movie and it’s only mildly unsettling, I’m beginning to think I’m just a pussy

- sneaky, ranks are breaking in the spacious bathroom

- I am simply not afraid of a man wearing a blanket

- if he kills them I will stop being able to tolerate this “jigsaw is morally grey” narrative, they did literally nothing wrong

- actually the child’s kinda annoying, why can she only make one noise

- did he only have 3 prior victims or did they only have the budget to show flashbacks of those guys

- I’d love to be an over-dedicated detective, staying back from drinks to eat shitty Chinese takeaway at my desk and stay up all night in a rumpled shirt, running my hands through my hair over ‘evidence’

- oop he knew they were comingggggggg

- in half an hour I gotta go cook my spaghetti

- if the puppet move’s I’m freaking out

- call me crazy but just shoot jigsaw the minute you see he’s gonna screwdriver lobotomise that guy? Clearly this mans is bad

- arresting him is objectively more important

- at least pull the hood back, I swear to god

- again, I cannot be afraid of this caped crusader, Dungeons-and-Dragons-ass villain

- short break for my mental health (mommy came home) then back to it and feeling strong

- rahhhh death metal as the killer escapes, I simply have to vibe

- oh he survived, that’s rad

- it’s zander!!

- the girls are fightinggggggggggggg

- glow in the dark paint are you fucking kidding me this film is so unserious

- so do Adam and Lawrence fuck or what

- I don’t know how to explain this but Lawrence’s face is so Lana del Rey genderswapped

- ewwwwwwww he’s so ugly in a suit😖😭😖😖😭

- oh lawd he crawlin

- what in the fuck is. That

- Adam choking is genuinely the funniest thing I’ve ever seen, genuinely why does he do that

- the acting is killing me, why is this a comedy movie

- Adam’s literallt just an urban photographer

- let me guess, jigsaw’s right there and it’s gonna show him in the flash (wow, crazy)

- come out I’ll kill you! - he says, with no weapon and zero upper body strength (I love my pathetic babygirl)

- how did time go that FAST, goddamn

- oh Jesus, kidnapped child moment

- ohhhhhhhh, shit boutta go DOWN

- I really thought these SAW traps were a time-crunch, in-and-out thing, it feels like these guys have so much downtime

- vigilante Adam arc

- is the picture of Lawrence drinking a smoothie really necessary??

- Lawrence killed a hooker confirmed

- it’s giving Nicki Minaj phone call

- why does Jigsaw, a stalker, hate Adam, also a stalker

- Adam’s just a girlboss trying to survive in this modern economy

- they have made no progress out of this goddamn bathroom, these guys are utterly useless

- how come everyone else gets these crazy punishments for running out of time and theirs is like…he just fucking comes in there and shoots you

- the I Need You was unnecessary and gay

- why am I suddenly feeling the urge to also watch the sequel

- could he stop yelling

- Adam is yelling because he is an empath

- nooooooooooooooooo Adammmmmmmmmm

- bitch the time was up!! He wasn’t going to let you see your wife and kid!!

- I appreciate the bit of fabric covering up his gross leg

- see, just like I said.

- get his ass, baby

- are they about to kiss

- why does he fucking sound like that

- why do I feel like he absolutely WOULD lie to him, that sneaky bitch. Tricksy

- That’s a bigass bullet wound

- so that’s not even jigsaw

- who the fuck is that wait what who the fuck is that

- I thought that was what happened to the key!!

- no way he lay there that still the entire time that’s crazy

- game over lmao that’s so funny he can’t be serious

[adriensaltprompts]

Submitted Prompt: "Billboarded"

AU where it turns out that having your face plastered across Paris in various modeling campaigns isn’t really conducive to maintaining a secret identity.  Especially when there are giant billboards featuring your visage that you can literally be slammed against by akuma, and photographed beside.

-

Master Fu is well aware that it’s human nature to speculate about the unknown, and is savvy enough to keep an eye on things online, looking for forums and other places online where people come together to discuss such matters.  After all, it’s reasonable to suspect that Hawkmoth is doing much the same thing.  It would be foolish not to.

As a result, he picks up on these threads and can’t help worrying.  Particularly since Photoshop and other editing programs also exist, enabling users to better illustrate the similarities they’re picking up on.

If Adrien is aware of such speculation himself, he may use it to try and justify his selfish and self-absorbed behavior as Chat Noir.  Surely, he insists, that will throw people off – because who in their right mind would suspect that the ‘golden boy of Paris’ could be so cruel…?

��Quite a lot of people, as it turns out. This is the internet age; people using anonymity to be assholes is hardly a new and unheard of concept.  He’s not being clever, he’s not being smart, he’s just being a prick. The fact that he’s disgustingly rich turns people against him even before they find out what he’s like as Chat Noir. It comes as no surprise that a straight cis white boy billionaire is a peice of crap, what else can he be expected to be?

(Bonus points if Gabriel becomes aware of all this speculation and decides to test the theories out by keeping a closer eye on his son/putting him on a tighter leash, legitimately making it harder and harder for Adrien to sneak around, slip away and go fight akumas/patrol/faff about at his leisure, which makes it a matter of time before he gets caught out, and a serious question as to whether it will be Gabriel, Master Fu, or somebody else who discovers the truth first…)

Either way, long before it’s ever revealed for sure, it’s no longer a “secret” that Adrien Agreste is Chat Noir, though Adrien does everything he can to deny it. The only ones who aren’t convinced are his classmates, who he’s able to charm with his innocent, naive “sunshine child” act. 

Rules for the blog - send a prompt

[brian-in-finance]

Video 📹

(photo from cmcandrewphoto on Instagram)

Jamie and Millie Dornan ANDREW SIMS FOR THE TIMES

When I speak to Millie Dornan, she has just woken up looking like someone who has spent two hours in hair and make-up. Clutching a milky coffee, she’s bare-faced, her streaky blonde hair unbrushed, wearing a baggy old pink T-shirt. This would be a tricky look to pull off if you were a 22-year-old supermodel; Dornan is a 39-year-old mother of three. To add insult to injury, she is bathed in early-morning California sunlight, while in London it is dark and chucking it down. Luckily, I’m not bitter. Oh, and she’s also married to the actor Jamie Dornan. Did I mention that? Well, there you are. Remember that envy is an unedifying emotion, and unworthy of you.

“I feel very lucky,” she says needlessly, referring to her location, not her husband. “It’s crazy the difference the guaranteed sun makes to your mood. It’s not even the sun — for me, it’s the sky. In the UK I live in the countryside and at this time of year it’s a proper test of strength and reserves because it’s just so tough and muddy and cold. Coming here has felt like a real joy.”

In her professional life as a successful composer, she’s Amelia Warner. In her private life, she’s Millie Dornan, and seeing as we’re talking today about swimming, not composing, then Dornan it is. Specifically, we’re talking about her love for wild swimming. Half the population these days seems intent on throwing itself into the North Sea with tedious regularity. Anyone who’s tried it — including Matt Hancock, who was photographed last week swimming in the Serpentine in London — knows that one of the main problems isn’t so much getting in, but getting out. If you’ve stood shivering and damp on a freezing riverbank trying to pull on jeans, this is a familiar problem, albeit one that the now ubiquitous Dryrobes — essentially rather unflattering parkas for changing under — are supposed to solve. The good news is that Dornan and her friend, business partner and fellow swimmer Daniela Bohling have come up with a new solution. It is, they say, flattering for everyone and smart enough to take you straight from the riverbank to meeting a friend for lunch. The bad news is that it’s a boiler suit.

“It really does suit everyone,” Dornan insists, as I look dubious from 5,000 miles away. “It’s incredibly flattering, because it’s got this high, nipped-in waist. The crotch is really low so you’re not going to get stuck, and it has one zip. I wasn’t sure if it would work on people with curves or a bust, but it really does. We designed it as a functional, technical piece, but we’re surprised by how amazing it looks. I used to go swimming then meet someone afterwards looking like a crazy person with all these clothes on. It was like the Michelin man showing up.”

Lightweight and with a weatherproof outer shell, the Wylding suit packs small enough to fit into a backpack for far-flung swims — over the summer Dornan went swimming in remote spots in Wales — and is lined with thermal microfleece, which wicks away moisture. It was born, she says, of all the times she and her friends stood on the riverbank trying to get dressed with numb hands and wet skin. “It was always just a real faff. We’d be standing there shivering and having the same conversation about how the worst bit is trying to get your clothes on after.”

Dornan started swimming a couple of years ago in the rivers and lakes near her Cotswolds home, in response to an open invitation from an acquaintance on Instagram. Until then, she was the sort of girl who would stand on the edge of a swimming pool for 15 minutes trying to summon the courage to get in.

“I thought, ‘F*** it,’ ” she remembers of that first time, “and it was brilliant. I didn’t know anybody and suddenly I was taking off my clothes and getting into this inky black freezing water. Everyone was squealing, but it was empowering and bonding and fun. We all felt so buzzed and high from it afterwards. It’s good to do stuff that pushes you to your edges, to do things that surprise yourself. I didn’t think I could do it, but I did, and then I just wanted to do it again and again.”

Dornan and her fellow school-gate mums, of which Bohling was one, started swimming regularly. They would flash their swimming costumes from under their clothes at each other as they dropped their kids off, as a secret sign that they were going swimming. Dornan found herself stopping the car randomly if she thought there might be somewhere to swim, hopping over fences and looking on Google Maps to see if the land was private and swimmable. Her first question whenever the family went anywhere, at home or abroad, was: “Where can I swim?”

“Even five years ago I would have said, ‘No thanks.’ I think it’s just getting older and being more interested in pushing myself. It’s really good for building confidence and it definitely has a noticeable effect on your mental health. If you have low moods, or you’re feeling a bit down, it really does help.”

Last year, she was swimming near Adelaide in Australia while Jamie was filming The Tourist. It was winter when they were there, so the sea was pretty cold, but as far as she was concerned, not cold enough. The Atlantic coast of Ireland at Christmas, on the other hand? Now you’re talking. She and Jamie spent Christmas there — he was brought up with his two older sisters on the outskirts of Belfast — and swam every day. “Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day, we swam a lot over Christmas. He enjoys it, especially when he’s at home in Ireland, he’d jump in the sea with me — him and his sister, we all swam. It was really fun and really, really cold.”

Millie and Daniela CHRIS MCANDREW FOR THE TIMES

The couple have three daughters, Dulcie, eight, Elva, five, and Alberta, two, who all think she’s bonkers.

“They go, ‘Oh, Mummy’s going to swim’ . . . but they get it, I think. They’re kind of up for it, but not in January.”

Dornan was born in Merseyside, the only child of two actors. She was brought up in Notting Hill, where she honed her eclectic style buying “weird second-hand things” every Friday at Portobello Market. She’s still got a lot of them, but they don’t get worn much any more. She lives a jeans-and-T-shirts life now. She started out as an actress, starring in the BBC’s production of Lorna Doone in 2000, but since childhood has spent her spare time writing music. Her compositions have reached No 1 on the iTunes classical music chart, and she has scored several films, including 2018’s Mary Shelley, starring Elle Fanning. She met Jamie at a party in LA and they’ve been married since 2013. They live a resolutely unstarry life in the Cotswolds, where the children go to school, and a world away from dressing up for red carpets.

“I feel that we’re good at keeping things at a level of normality, and as long as we’re all together it’s very simple for us. I’m definitely more comfortable on a dog-walk than being glammed up.”

At home they’re surrounded by animals, although rather fewer of them than there used to be. The goats had to be sent to an animal sanctuary because they kept escaping, and the chickens were eaten.

“It was really sad, I loved those chickens. Apparently it wasn’t a fox that killed them, it was a badger. We’re really depleted. We told the kids they’d escaped to a better life and now they’re in some chicken land somewhere with their friends.”

They enrolled the kids in a school in Australia while Jamie was filming The Tourist because they were there for five months, but they’re only in LA until spring, so the children are being home schooled. “We’re used to the travel,” she says. “It’s part of our lives. We’ve got it all down to a good routine, and as they get older I’m sure we’ll make different decisions.”

First on the agenda today, a few days after they landed — and the first when they didn’t all wake up before dawn — is to enrol them at the local library. She wants to try her hand at surfing, and take the girls to flea markets in LA for a rummage, as she used to do in Portobello. She turns 40 in June, but couldn’t care less.

“I’m really excited about turning 40. It seems to be a really good time — you’re hopefully just coming through having small children and everything starts opening up again. It feels like there’s a lot more space. I’m really looking forward to it. I’ll definitely mark it somehow.”

Perhaps she could jump into a particularly cold river. That might be nice.

“Hmm,” she says, considering her options. “The sea does get pretty cold here, it’s the Pacific, so I��ll get a bit of a fix. But maybe I need to get some sort of ice-bath wheelie bin situation going on here.”

Millie Dornan with her Wylding co-founder Daniela Bohling in the brand’s boiler suits, £160, wylding.co.uk CHRIS MCANDREW FOR THE TIMES

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/millie-dornan-interview-jamie-wylding-32t6qk0gl

Remember… it was always just a real faff. We’d be standing there shivering and having the same conversation about how the worst bit is trying to get your clothes on after. — Millie Dornan (Amelia Warner)

[whumpzone]

idea: you could make sideblogs for each of your series (ex. tomasandrowe-updates and coltonandlinden-updates or something) and every time you post an update to the series, you could reblog the new chapter to the corresponding sideblog. people can turn notifications on for the sideblogs so they get notified when a new chapter is posted. you don't need to tag anyone, and everyone gets notified without anyone falling through the cracks.

HMM that is a smart idea anon!! but it slightly sounds like too much faff. and to tell everyone on my taglist to go over and get notifs tumblr would have to.... tag them >:(

or i'd have to message them all which is far too much to do and id feel so annoying ahaha

im gonna keep trying to find other ways around the tag cap but thank you for suggesting this! its genuinely a clever idea

[fatphobiabusters]

So I have a question about how weight gain/loss works and I can't find any studies that don't seem reductionist or oversimplifying.

So, I assume you guys and I both agree: weight gain and loss is way more complex than calories in - calories out. It HAS to be. For instance, I was underweight until I started taking certain medications which made me gain upwards of 70lbs in the span of a few years. My diet and activity levels have not changed. My mom eats worse than I do (legit she sometimes only eats sugary cereals and ice cream some days, I try to only eat whole grains in contrast because I like their taste better and they're more nutritious) and she's not nearly as fat as I am. I also exercised a lot for a good year or two and while I gained plenty of muscle weight my total amount of body fat didn't change.

Meanwhile a friend of mine is chronically underweight and we eat very similarly and have the same activity levels, and he actively LOSES weight if he doesn't eat upwards of 2000+ calories a day.

I know that's anecdotal evidence, but I hear very similar stories from many people and simplifying weight down to just calories seems like it's missing a whole big picture somewhere. The body obviously has some very complex systems in place regarding the storage of body fat and when it chooses to use it vs keep it.

Seeing as you guys are skeptical of reductionist science when it comes to body fat and weight, I was wondering if you had any studies or research on hand about how weight gain and loss actually works. It seems like a fascinating topic ripe for plenty of research and experiments regarding the biological pathways of how energy is stored and used, and why it uses fat stores sometimes and not others, and why it differs so greatly between people! It feels like if it were any other field people would be pouring grants and work into figuring out this really cool mystery but because it's about fat people nobody wants to bother.

So, we have posted a lot about this.

I recommend spending some time on @bigfatscience, since this is their actual area of expertise.

I’m also interested in this in a sciency way, but as a fat person I worry about ppl focusing too much on this and not on radical fat acceptance. It shouldn’t matter if someone is fat because they choose to eat a lot and do no exercise. That’s their right as a human.

I posted this graph [cw: o word] a while back. It’s not perfect, but it’s a start in thinking about weight systematically and in a more complex way.

-Mod Siarl

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/296290/obesity-map-full-hi-res.pdf

last time the embedded link didn’t work so I’m just putting it here in case that happens again.

---

I’m going to throw my tuppence-haypenny in here. Mod Siarl already gave an excellent answer, I just have my spleen to vent also 😎 engage RANT:

The calories-in/calories-out thing bugs me a LOT because it’s so simple for people to throw out, and takes FOREVER to debunk. It’s like a Gish-gallop debating tactic: make the other side look daft by casually dropping it into a discussion and watch the other side have to faff about with a big answer.

I don’t know if this comes up much in US education, but there’s an old adage:

“Physics can’t explain how a bumblebee is able to fly.”

It’s patent nonsense. Of course Physics can explain it. The problem is mis-stated: Physics, as taught to 15 year olds, is too simplistic to explain how a bumblebee is able to fly.

Physics, as taught to post-16 year olds and in higher education, is perfectly able to explain it.

Calories is EXACTLY like that, IMO.

“Just expand more calories than you take in and you’ll lose weight. SIMPLE.”

It’s an oversimplification of biological process that, yes as stated is technically correct but it bears no resemblance to reality. It’s mis-stated.

When you restrict calories, your body will react. The reaction varies on person, circumstance, metabolism, genetics and societal conditioning. It may include, but is not limited to:

‘Starvation’ mode: your body chemistry adapts to lower calorific intake and preps for a famine. Fat is one of the last things to go, because it’s your body’s last line of defence against starving to death. (https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/starvation-mode#metabolism)

Depression/mental health. Not only are you depriving yourself of something that may make you happy (tasty food you like), you’re interfering with the societal use of food (social eating, with all its positive connotations for interaction), changing your body chemistry AND setting yourself up with a “I can’t have X otherwise I’m a bad person” mentality. (https://www.consumerhealthdigest.com/general-health/dieting-mental-health.html - refs at bottom)

Decreased activity. Fewer calories == less energy. Body stays the same shape (https://www.livestrong.com/article/454212-fatigue-while-on-a-calorie-restricted-diet/).

Reduction in muscles. Fat’s your last line of defence against starving (https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/calorie-restriction-risks#TOC_TITLE_HDR_7).

Fat loss. Yep, it might happen 🤷‍♀️ depends on all the factors above.

Weight gain. Guess what happens when the calorie counting ends? Your body tries to get back to its previous weight ASAP (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/smart-people-don-t-diet/201501/5-lies-the-diet-industry).

Yes, there are also studies that show calorie restriction makes you smarter, live longer, able to jump tall buildings in a single bound and blah blah blah, all of which rely on self-reporting from subjects (which is laughably unreliable), small sample sizes (womp womp) and significant differences in the baseline stats of the participants (eg this gushing report https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/caloric-restriction-intelligence/ which buries these huge methodological faults in the ‘further questions’ section. FFS.)

Why the disparity? Why is slim evidence given SO much credence rather than correctly being interpreted as ‘hm, interesting. More research needed’?

Being fat is just taken as fact to be a problem. Any study showing otherwise is immediately analysed until someone can explain that the study was flawed (see the obesity paradox for this in action - what if we just discount any thin person with cancer? Job done. Now fatties look bad again. And there was much rejoicing.)

The reverse is true for any study on calorie restriction: any methodological flaws are buried in the footnotes, because it fits the narrative.

Whether being fat is healthy or not doesn’t matter. Your body, and changing it, take a long time and concerted effort for slow changes. You’re under no obligations to any of that and deserve to be allowed to live in peace with respect. Maybe you like being fat. Maybe you like your lifestyle. Maybe there are factors more important in your life than your weight. Maybe you accept you will die at the end regardless, so to an extent your just choosing between cancer, heart disease or Alzheimers (sorry for being flippant - that’s a big topic right there).

(Why is this ‘the narrative’? If I had to guess, I’d follow the money: public health is expensive, so any excuse to turn it into a problem of will power/individual deviancy is embraced by people who want their taxes lower rather than paying for healthcare for the masses.)

So yes. Calories-in/calories-out is twaddle is the take-away from my TED talk/rant 🤣

NOTE: I’m not a biologist, nutritionist, doctor or anything else. Always go to the study source, check the methodology, check the conclusions (which regularly get utterly misquoted when reported) and make up your own mind. Don’t take what I say as fact, because I might be completely backwards.

-- Mod K

[faelune-home]

FFXIV Write 2020 #28: Irenic

(A/N: A touch more uncertain with this one. The first thought I had was MInfilia’s goal for peace with the beast tribes, but I already kinda addressed that. So the second thought I had was of Ishgard rebuilding with the dragons. But I may have lost my way with this one a bit. :/

Post-Heavensward. NPC focused.

Word count:1045

@ffxiv-writers)

Some few meetings between dragons and the populace wouldn’t undo a thousand years worth of distrust and hostility immediately, but it was a better start than anything.

The arrival of a former heretic at the gates with a dragonet had been the spark for the idea for Ser Aymeric. He’d initially been baffled at the reports from Ser Francel, however it had gotten him thinking. Some few designated places in both territories and perhaps…

The Firmament could be the start; the children making their home in the new area wouldn’t be a problem. Even with most of their so far short lives living in fear of dragons, it would be a better start to change the tides of such opinions while they were young. Ehll Tou herself certainly helped, already the talk of the cobbles, ever surrounded by young people. The young dravanian had also pledged to try and convince her own peers in the Sea of Clouds to join her.

The older generations would be harder to convince. Those that fought on the front lines, or that lost family that had. The old scars still weeped and bled, and even those few elder Brumites that wished to reside in the Firmament were wary with the new presence. The best plan Aymeric could consider would use Tailfeather deep in the Forelands as a neutral meeting place, but to travel all the way there when most yet struggled in the frozen highlands was a hindrance to the idea.

And none of this yet considered those like Marcelloix, the returned heretic. Those numbers within the heretics that would wish to return to society, but feared they wouldn’t be accepted for their decisions...or their appearance. Aymeric couldn’t help but wish Lady Iceheart remained with them. So often she spoke of peace and making the Holy See accountable for their crimes, and while she may have been a radical about her actions, to have someone to assist in parley now that a mutual goal was possible would’ve been a blessing from Halone Herself.

“Penny for your thoughts?” The Lord Commander turned to the new voice, away from his musing thoughts staring out at the clouds, only to jump in surprise at the gil coin tossed at him. He caught it, though not without a fumble or almost dropping it, earning a snicker from Hilda.

“Preferably I would like to be handed things, not haphazardly tossed them with a risk of losing them into the Sea of Clouds,” the man huffed.

“Well int someone a bit touchy today? Too much paperwork?” The woman smirked, arched eyebrow betraying her curiosity at his mood.

“That, and various considerations.” He sighed. “Alongside long term reform to the city’s inner workings - over seeing the restoration in the Firmament, redistributing the political powers away from the upper houses and the church into the parliament, reconsidering our historical texts and the teachings we would pass on to our younger generations - I’m afraid I’m also rather lost on how to move forward with our old foes. At least with regards to repairing relations and being able to consider them allies once more.”

“Ah, so a lot of fancy faff I wouldn’t much get,” she scoffed, kicking a stray pebble down the street. “But that is your job innit? Make sure we’re all working out now and getting along. But a lot of folk dun want to play nice.”

“Unfortunately not. I promised Midgardsormr I would do better by my people toward his children and his kin. I would like to start by encouraging discussions but--”

“But you can’t just be having people waltz out of here into the freezing cold to go all the way to some wilderness only to meet another cold reception,” Hilda interrupted. Another wry smile crawled across her lips as she saw the elezen man’s jaw stiffen.

“Aye, that would be the right of it.”

“I can tell you now, whatever ideas you’ve got musing around that fluffy head of yours-” She said, poking his forehead and ignoring the hard look he shot at her, “-everyone down in the Brume at least has mulled over the exact same thoughts five times over. And you’re a smart lad, you probably know this lot up here in the Pillars have the same notions like.”

“And yet no ideas on how to solve it,” he grumbled. Hilda rolled her eyes.

“Oi now, what happened to the man that went round promising to do better by the rest of us? I think he’s crawled into a hole and left his shell behind.”

Aymeric frowned, confused. “You just highlighted my problems, surely you would understand what ails me.”

The woman huffed. “Aye, I pointed ‘em out, but I figured that’d also tell you how to fix it. Plenty of folk aren’t too certain about the big race into a ‘peaceful future’ you’re talking about, ‘specially when we haven’t seen it yet and they don’t much believe in it. Maybe the best thing you can do is actually talk to ‘em and then give whatever daft ideas you have a try. Rather than wallowing ‘bout how it all seems hopeless.”

“If discussion worked, then we would have reached an agreement before now.”

“And you of all people should know that not only do these high house lot like the sound of their own voices and they’ll keep talking in circles till they get what they want, but that’s just it; men won’t stop till the plan suits them. You need to stick in and get them on your side.” Hilda shrugged.

“Like I keep saying, I don’t know much about this nonsense, that’s all your job. But if you need an ear to complain when the day job gets to you, you do know where to find me.” She snatched her gil coin from his grasp and sauntered off, leaving the man alone with his thoughts once more.

He wanted to hope for a better future for Ishgard, once that would include the dravanians. But it was a future that still looked a long way off for them all. He sighed again, looking to the skies.

A stray prayer to Halone, to grant him strength and the way through the gloom left his lips, drifting into the mists.

[nepenthendline]

20 questions tag game

Tagged by @togasknifes aka my favourite person for 20 questions

1. What do you prefer to be called name wise? - just chloe is good, i don’t really get called anything else 

2. When is your birthday? - august 23

3. Where do you live?  - england

4. Three things you’re doing right now: - being tired as heck, im watching B-Project atm we’ll see how that goes and just scrolling through the haikyuu tag

5. Four fandoms that have really piqued your interest: - bts, haikyuu, mlqc and bnha

6. How’s the pandemic treating you? - UHHHHH pretty shit lol i’ve been crying nearly everyday so... two people in my household had the virus so i couldn’t go outside for ages, i’m someone who needs a lot of routine to function and to be happy thanks autism but now i don’t have any of that and my depression and anxiety is just here chillin’ uninvited 

7. What’s a song you can’t stop listening to right now? - POP/STARS - K/DA (also some songs from IDOLiSH7 like goodnight awesome we stan)

8. Recommend a movie 🍿 - parasyte was so good! i highly recommend 

9. How old are you? - 19

10. School, occupation, other?- studying marketing communications at uni (with a digital media specification), i DID have a job in retail until the pandemic but they told me to leave bc they didn’t want someone working there who wasn’t full time rude, also ellie u so smart wtf?

11. Do you prefer hot or cold? - hot

12. Name one fact about you that others may not know - i dropped out of school when i was 14 wow go me, although i still made it to uni so its all good

13. Are you shy? - i am veryyy shy (or just very anxious), having autism and anxiety does not make you the most outgoing person lol i am a social disaster, 

14. Preferred pronouns: - she/her

15. Any pet peeves? - ill name a couple - when people are loud for no reason, when people just faff (like when you’re doing something and people come along and just fiddle pls stop), when people think its ‘cool’ to not care about stuff (esp education)

16. What’s your favorite “dere” type? - i can’t say i have one, i only really know two of them well anyway

17. Rate your life, 1 being Capital C Crappy or 10/10 thriving: - i mean realistically it’s probably like 5/10 but it feels like 2/10

18. What’s your main blog?- this is my main

19. List your side blogs and what they’re for: - i don’t have any side blogs, crazy

20. Is there anything ppl need to know about you before becoming friends w/ you? - hmm probably that i am, as mentioned before, a social disaster lol i’m not the best at communicating but i do enjoy it! i am someone who tends to like to talk a lot about the things im interested in so im the type of friend that will spam text you shit or send you memes, probably a bit of an oversharer but i hold back on that lol pls love me ty

tagging: @simp4satori , @salty4tsukki, @sippn-the-tae and anyone else!

[strawberryybird]

Spare some Ignatz and Leonie thoughts, ma'am? For a humble Leonatz fan?

it’s leonatz time !!!

i truly do not know what the conventions are for headcanon or ship posts so if this seems like a stream of consciousness about leonatz and my own verdent wind ending fanon... that’s because it is.. fhdgbfhg

i know in their ending it has them both disperse and reconnect after a few years, but my jury is out on whether i want the golden deers as a whole to faff off in separate ways and grow into themselves outside of war or Stay As A Family Forever a la my CR vox machina willful ignorance.. 

.. ok i accidentally wrote half a fic. It’s unedited and unbeta’d and it’s really a stream of consciousness.. but have it anyway fhdgkh. lmk if this needs a content warning?

so lets say the deers all stay as one big patchwork quilt of a unit (other endings be damned) and they.. all move up to Goneril territory because Claude needed to be near Almyra, and Hilda is Hilda, so off they went. With the truth of Lysithea’s crests coming to light, and the reality of it setting in, it feels like the war didn’t end, it just changed tact. 

For Hilda and Lorenz, it’s become a diplomatic whirlpool of exchange of resources and information in a post-war world where the Church is in shambles, the crest nobility system is barely holding itself together, and there’s a ticking time bomb with white hair resting in the sun room upstairs. And the only ones who knew what had happened were little piles of ash in an underground bunker. 

Marianne dives even further into healing magic and the information they swiped from Slither, with Hanneman across the desk. Manuela was stretched thin enough between Enbarr, Garreg Mach and Byleth’s side, but there was a place at their table for her too. 

Byleth chips in what she can, where she can, already spread thin enough across the country. Her soft mint hair is always a welcome sight in the library. Claude has to travel between Almyra and Byleth after the war in their effort to kick in Fodlan’s walls for good. Raphael comes with them all at first, but soon he’s also out travelling across the former Alliance, helping rebuild and show the best side of the deer’s little army - the unrelenting hope of the world they were fighting for. But he’s back every few weeks with his bright smile and brighter news. 

It seems like everyone has their place in this new world they’ve stumbled into. Leonie’s never been much for studying more than military tactics - goddess knows magic had never much taken to her. Give her a bow and a target and she’s golden. Ignatz had always had an open book of some sort or other - but the level of detail Marianne and Hanneman were going in tended to be reserved for his watercolours. 

(It just takes a moment for them both to find their feet in this new kind of fight)

Their old teachers had swept Garreg Mach for any books that could possibly shed light on Lysithea’s health, and Seteth and Manuela had returned to Hilda’s castle with sackfulls of manuscrips and books they dug up from the wreckage of Thales’ chambers, and all these books needed a good home. So they lost a bedroom and gained a library with a built-in wardrobe. 

Somehow both Leonie and Ignatz ended up in there at an ungodly hour of night, both intending to do the most useful thing they knew of: reading books they don’t understand. Because that was what everyone else was doing, and firing arrows at the problem wasn’t going to cut it this time. 

They don’t talk at first. Because it’s them, and of course it’s them. They know each other so well, just a smile suffices for a whole conversation.

On the second night, Ignatz’ candle burns out in its own puddle of wax. Ignatz stammers out the same ‘sorry’ he’s been stammering at her for 2 years of school and 5 years of warfare, and Leonie brings in one of the gas lamps from outside the door for some proper light. Issue solved. Ignatz closes the heavy curtains to make the light seem brighter, and the room seem warmer, and he gently thanks her, as he’s always done. Leonie shrugs it off like she passed him the salt, because that’s what she’s always done.

The third night, she stops being cowardly because there’s no longer time for that (there was never any time for that), and asks for Ignatz’ help with one of the Slither’s manuscipts. 

Next to her, Ignatz flushes red as roses (or blood, or Edelgard’s armour, Carmine red as Ignatz once told her) and says he was actually just about to ask her for help on the one he’d been studying.

They both miss a beat.

Leonie knows she shouldn’t be laughing at their own uselessness, but goddess, it’s the most cathartic thing she’s felt in three weeks. “You’re meant to be the smart one of us”, she says, lightly cuffing his shoulder, smile still on her face. “I always was a bit duff at tome smarts.”

“Oh no,” he stammers back, “I was never very good at magic without Professor and Lysithea’s help. Plus, it was only Cutting Gale, it’s nothing like any of these texts.”

“Plus,” Ignatz continues, adjusting his glasses, “You’re a brilliant battle commander. You always know just what do on the battlefield. It’s amazing,” his blush was still high in his cheeks, “how much you carried our army.

“I don’t know if we ever said thank you.”

Leonie stopped short and looked at Ignatz, candlelight caught in his glasses.

“You don’t need to thank me any more than I need to thank you. It was war, we did what we had to.” She said, missing nonchalant and landing in the netting some real emotions.

Leonie had been forthright about her feelings, and the war only reduced her bullshit tolerance to a cool zero. If something needs to be said, she says it. Always has done.Apart from fear. Fear is the one that sits in her throat at night and wraps its fingers around her memories of Jeralt’s last rattled breaths, and the rain, and the way Lysithea gets worse as the storms roll in from the sea.

The war has changed, but the game remains the same. Don’t let your loved ones die. And the less she understood how to fix Lys, the more useless she seemed to in this brave new world.

“Battle tactics aren’t much use when reading unhinged medical texts, Ignatz.” Leonie said, looking at their decimation of order on the table, with quills and ink and parchment spilled over the resources. 

And he smiles at her. “Neither is painting. I’ve had 5 years to feel like I’m a useless cog in the war machine, and you’ve only had 5 months, Leonie. But I get it.”

Leonie pretends her laugh isn’t as watery as it is, and Ignatz has enough exposure to Lorenz’ noble prattling to politely ignore how her cheeks flushed with various emotional reactions. 

“So a knight and an artist walk into a library at midnight.” 

Ignatz chuckles lightly, “now that’s a Claude-level of bad joke”

They spend the rest of the night talking, and by the time sunlight is streaming through the curtains, Leonie feels a little bit lighter.Only a bit lighter, that is. But as Ignatz had once told her in the forest, his arms full of paint and hers full of arrows; it’s a nice thing to be understood about this kind of thing.