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babyjakes · 2 years

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forever and a day | 3. whatever it takes.

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summary | a story in which america’s favorite captain gives a new life and family to a five-year-old girl who has suffered well beyond her years at the hands of hydra.

characters | dad!steve rogers, girl/willa rogers (original character)

warnings | AU similar enough to OU to include spoilers to many Marvel movies (Age of Ultron and beyond). mature themes related to child abuse/neglect, mentions of past CSA, medical abuse, ptsd/trauma symptoms in a child (developmental discrepancies, de-humanized behavior, detachment, extreme fears). somewhat evil!Tony Stark (eventually)

[Steve]

As time seems to drag by barely by the minutes, I sit silently in the grey-walled room, listening to the low hum of the ship’s engine and the sound of Girl breathing. Glancing at the clock, I note that she’s been asleep for almost an hour. When she first drifted off, she would squirm around every few moments, her eyelids fluttering ever so slightly and soft whimpers escaping her lips. But now, she’s settled down enough so that I feel comfortable sitting at her bedside in a wide but firm cushioned armchair, waiting. The flight back to New York will be another several hours. I wonder how long Girl will be able to sleep through it.

More time passes, another hour, then two. Nothing changes, and it doesn’t even feel like time is passing by at all. Occasionally, I start to think that I should go out into the other room and at least alert the others that Girl is sleeping, and that I promised I would stay here. But I know that I can’t. She could wake up in the slim gap while I was away; it would be just my luck. And I can’t risk breaking a pinky promise to her. I have a feeling they’re going to be really important in the future between us.

A soft knock on the metal door breaks my train of thought. I look over to see Tony walking in. He’s changed into a pair of dark grey pants and a black short-sleeved shirt. He looks tired; he looks like hell. He looks way too exhausted for the simple mission we just endured. But I know it’s all because of the emotional impact. This kind of job will do that to him, to me, to anybody. Everyone underestimates the power of emotions.

Tony glances at the small sleeping girl, then at me. He walks over, allowing the door to close gently behind him, and pulls the other armchair over beside me. He takes a seat on the edge of the cushion, his elbows falling to rest on his knees. Cupping his face in his hands, he sucks in a breath. Then, he looks back up at me, and I almost think I see tears in his eyes.

“Hey Cap,” he says softly, barely above a whisper. At this point, Girl’s knocked out so hard that I’m not worried his quiet voice will wake her. He takes another deep breath, sighing. “How… how are things?”

Leaning back slightly, I look over at the little girl strapped down and sleeping on the bed. Her long brown hair is strewn out every which way from her head, her chest rising and falling gently. She looks much better, much less afraid and in pain while sleeping. “She’s alright,” I say after a pause, knowing he’ll understand that ‘alright’ means something very unique in this circumstance. “She was able to fall asleep without any medication, which is a good sign. I was afraid Bruce would want to sedate her. I don’t think that would’ve gone over well.” Tony nods, then shakes his head in disbelief.

“I know… that Hydra is awful,” he begins. Lifting his head slightly off of resting on his hands, he folds them out in front of him. “We all know Hydra is awful. Everyone knows that. And… and I always thought that no matter what, I would be able to handle what I saw when it came to… you know. The experiments. I thought… I even thought some of the things we had seen before were the worst it could get. But I…” He turns away slightly, and I see a tear trailing down his cheek. My gaze softens as I understand exactly how he’s feeling. “Nothing could have prepared me for something like this.”

“I can’t imagine going through what she went through with Hydra at an age like that,” I state coldly, almost in pure disbelief that anyone could be so cruel, so evil.

“She’s five,”Tony says, looking up at me. My heart sinks in my chest, my shoulders slouching ever so slightly. “We’ve been gathering as much information as possible,” he adds. “I came to tell you about what I- about what we learned. But I don’t know, Cap… the stuff’s horrific.” I nod, feeling slightly numb everywhere. “I know it’s important for you to know, so I’m gonna tell you, just… I wanted to warn you, first.”

“Thanks,” I say roughly, looking down at the floor.

I hear Tony take a few moments to breathe. Then, I hear him shifting in his chair. And then, finally, he speaks again.

“She was in captivity for… for all of her life,” he begins. “Hydra captured a young woman when she was pregnant with Girl, and as a baby, she was immediately separated from her mother and raised in isolation. Bruce said that made things particularly difficult for her because she was probably never able to develop emotionally or socially due to her lack of attachment and nurturing.” I nod, my hands growing stiff on the armrests of the chair. “Girl’s mother had healing abilities just like her, but unfortunately she died shortly after delivering. Apparently, Girl’s powers are stronger than anything Hydra’s ever seen. She can heal any wound or injury, but only on others. And when she does, she…” He pauses and I look over at him, seeing that his eyes have glossed over, simply staring in the general direction of the child. “…she takes on the pain herself. She absorbs it; it’s seemingly excruciating. We scanned through some of the files we recovered from the database and there were plenty of trial summaries that detailed her suffering, stuff like absorbing stab wounds, broken bones, cut off limbs, and even worse. Sometimes she would become sick or wet herself due to the pain. Other times she would pass out entirely. The notes detailed Hydra’s displeasure with her for simply crying or begging for it to stop; she was put through regular correctional sessions until she became compliant.” Tony’s voice cracks, and I see more tears falling from his eyes. With a dull ache, I can hear my heart pounding in my ears. “The videos and audiotapes of what she was put through, Steve- I… I’ve never heard such horrific sounds in my life.”

"Is she able to bring people back from the dead?” I ask hesitantly. He nods. “How does that work? If she did, then… wouldn’t she die as a result?”

He shakes his head. “It’s complicated, even I don’t totally understand it,” he explains, “but essentially, when she’s forced to revive someone, it throws her into what they called a 'state of pain-induced comatose.” I flinch, feeling anger boiling up inside of me. “It would paralyze her for days, sometimes even weeks at a time. It would mess up her head, too. Parts of her memory and mental functioning would just entirely collapse.”

“How does she heal, do we know? What’s the science behind it?”

“Bruce is starting to try to untangle all of that right now; all we could gather from what we read is that her body has to enter a phase of ‘total equilibrium.’ She has the power to make her body enter a state like that, but Hydra also came up with a serum they injected her with to shift her levels all to equal.” That’s what she must have meant by shifting, I think to myself. Nodding, I wait for him to continue. “Then, all she has to do is come in contact with the person. If she touches them, or if they touch her, their physical ailment will be transferred automatically.”

“I guess that can explain why she’s so afraid of touch,” I say.

Tony nods, but then adds, “We also have to take into consideration the horrific abuse she’s been through. There are records of every 'correctional’ session she’s been put through. Beating, whipping, cutting, complete and total brutalization. They did it all, Steve,” he says sadly. I shake my head, not knowing what to say.

“Poor thing,” I murmur, my heart breaking for her all over again.

“I should also tell you, Cap, she has a particular fear of men,” he says lowly. My body lights up with dread and rage as I close my eyes, squeezing the bridge of my nose.

“Why?” I ask, not wanting to know the response.

“Besides using her to heal, Hydra had one other goal in mind. They wanted more of her. They wanted healers they could send all over, wherever they would need them. Of course, the kid is only five, so there’s not much of a chance she could create offspring of her own. But that…” he chokes on a sob, and I open my eyes, looking at him, totally in shock from what I’m hearing. “…that didn’t stop them from trying.”

“They raped her?” I ask angrily, my voice becoming slightly louder, and Tony shushes me quickly.

“It didn’t say anywhere specifically that they-… there wasn’t any mention of actual-… b-but there were records of…” his voice trails off and he looks defeated, like he’s unable to continue. “There were records of her being… violated medically, in an experimental setting. Attempts to take her anatomy and recreate it, none of which worked. In the end, we can’t know for sure what all happened, Steve.”

I close my eyes again, shaking my head in anger and disbelief.

“Nat threw up when we found out,” Tony whispers. “Even Thor could sense the severity of the situation. None of this is good, Cap. She’s been through hell and-”

“And what?” I snap. “What on earth are we supposed to do about it? Her mother’s dead, right? And she’s been in captivity since birth, so she has no one else. What the hell are we going to-”

I stop, and suddenly, I feel my heart beating forcefully in my chest. And while it’s escalated in pace, it’s still there; it’s strong, it’s unfaltering. Taking a deep breath, I open my eyes and looking at the sleeping girl in the bed.

“She’s staying with us,” I state firmly, not an ounce of me willing to ask for anyone else’s approval.

There’s a pause, and then finally Tony says, “Okay, alright. She’s staying with us.”

“In the Avenger’s Tower. And we’re going to help her. All of us. You, me, Bruce, everyone.”

“That’s right,” Tony agrees, his gaze meeting mine. Beyond the devastation in his eyes, I can see something more settled in the deep brown.

“She’s going to be okay,” I whisper. “We’re going to help her be okay.”

“Alright Rogers,” Tony replies with a nod. “Whatever it takes.”

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stylingpubichair · 4 years

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The Best Way To Shave Your Bikini Line Without Getting Ingrowns Everywhere.. Do not avoid shaving cream, whatever you do.

You may be in the camp of letting your hair go au naturel during quarantine, or you might be spending even more time on your beauty and skincare routine right now. But if you're playing it safe and skipping bikini wax appointments at the moment, shaving is likely your go-to for smooth skin.

The only problem is that bumps, ingrown hair, and angry red skin seem like they're just part of the package when it comes to shaving ~down there~. Shaving your bikini area is a lot of work, and can definitely irritate your skin if not done safely, so there are some things you should know before the razor is in your hand.

Wait, is it bad to shave your bikini line?

First of all, removing hair anywhere on your body is completely your decision—don't listen to anyone who tells you otherwise, or feel pressured into shaving, waxing, or using any other hair removal method. If you do choose to shave your bikini line, you may be up against both ingrown hairs and red, itchy bumps.

"Ingrown hairs are formed when the sharp, freshly shaved hairs, puncture and grow into the surrounding skin," explains Ife J. Rodney, MD, FAAD, founding director of Eternal Dermatology + Aesthetics. Then, the skin has a reaction to those hairs and can get red and itchy as a result. You might also experience razor burn after shaving, which is basically when the razor removes the top layer of soft skin, allowing bacteria in to form red bumps on the inflamed skin, says Dr. Rodney.

However, many people (45 percent in this 2016 survey report grooming down below for a vacation, and 55 percent say they've groomed before sex) who remove pubic hair use a razor, which is totally fine for your skin, as long as you are careful. "To prevent rashes and irritation, you should only shave with a clean, sharp razor," Dr. Rodney says. On top of that, if you moisturize and care for the skin before and after you shave, you can avoid annoying razor burn.

Read on for more expert-approved shaving tips before you jump in the shower.

1. Invest in a good bikini razor.

Picking the right razor is the first step to ensuring your bikini line is smooth and bump-free. "If there are more blades, it dispenses more pressure, allowing each blade to cut with less force but more effect," says Dendy Engelman, MD, of Manhattan Dermatology and Cosmetic Surgery in New York City. In other words, you'll get a better, closer shave without risking a cut or irritation.

"Choosing a firm, sturdy razor with soothing strips will make a huge difference," adds Eileen Bischoff, esthetician and hair-removal specialist at Eve Salon in New York City. While throwaways are great for use while traveling and can get the job done, they’re labeled "disposable" for a reason. "They’re not meant to be used for a month," she says.

Or, there's the option of single-blade stainless steel safety razors, which have become popular especially to reduce plastic waste. Believe it or not, they're just as safe as a regular plastic razor for your skin, even your bikini line, says Dr. Rodney. "With only one pass, you remove the hairs completely. There’s less trauma to the skin surface, and the hairs are cut bluntly, decreasing the risk of ingrown hairs," she says.

2. Prep to prevent ingrown hair on your bikini line.

Before shaving your bikini area, spend about 10 minutes in warm water first. This will help soften the outer layer of your skin, making it easier to remove hair (and lessen your chances of getting razor burn), says Fumi Ozaki, an esthetician and electrologist in Redondo Beach, California. "After the 10 minutes is up, pat the skin dry to remove any excess water," she says.

Once your bikini line has been cleaned and dried, Engelman suggests lightly exfoliating with a wet washcloth or a scrub to remove dead skin cells, allowing the blade to get closer to the skin. "It teases out any stubborn ingrown hairs prior to shaving," she says.

3. Don't skip shaving cream.

You might think this shaving accessory is just a feel- and smell-good component to the process, but it’s way more than that. "When you shave, you’re shaving your skin, too," says Bischoff. "If you don’t use enough shaving cream to create enough slip, you’ll lightly abrade your skin, leaving it irritated." Ouch.

And similarly to that quality bikini shaver you're supposed to buy, don't just reach for a random, cheap shaving cream. "Use a good-quality shaving gel with a short list of moisturizing ingredients, like shea butter, olive oil, and coconut oil—these types of bases will give a proper buffer for your razor," says Engelman.

Apply a very thin layer only to the area that needs to be shaved so you can see the skin and hair shaft underneath. "This is much safer, so there’s no need to move the blade back and forth on the skin," says Ozaki.

4. Pay attention to your shaving direction.

People have a lot of opinions about whether you should shave up or down on your bikini line, and the direction you shave does matter. "How you shave can be really, really important, especially for people who are prone to bumps," says Bischoff. Going in a ton of different directions with your razor makes cuts and subsequent ingrown hairs more likely. Shave in one direction—with the hair growth. Going against the grain of your hair makes irritation much more likely.

While gliding your razor gently along the bikini line, keep the blade downward without adding too much pressure. "One pass should be fine, especially if you’re using a razor that has many blades," says Ozaki. "The more blades used, the fewer times you should feel the need to re-shave over this sensitive area."

5. Calm your skin after shaving the bikini area.

Wash off as soon as you put your razor down, and hold a cold compress to the area for 10 minutes to prevent irritation, says Ozaki. Apply an anti-redness serum (preferably fragrance-free) to further reduce your chances of experiencing razor burn. "I recommend tea tree oil, both a natural anti-inflammatory and antiseptic, which can help calm razor burn," says Engelman. "If you’ve really caused some irritation, more intense creams, like topical steroids, can be prescribed to reduce redness, swelling, and pain."

6. Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize.

It’s important to always hydrate and moisturize after shaving. "Apply an unscented, alcohol-free moisturizer to both sides of the bikini line to lock in the moisture and avoid over-drying, which leads to further irritation," says Engelman. Bischoff suggests looking for products containing soothing aloe vera, as well as jojoba oil and vitamin E for hydration.

7. Clean your bikini razor.

After every shave, make sure to sanitize your blades with rubbing alcohol and warm or hot water. If your razor looks rusty and you’ve been using it for a while, toss it out. "Replace old blades—ones you’ve used for more than five to seven shaves," says Engelman.

You can also cut your losses (and avoid those red bumps) by storing blades in a clean, dry place so they don't pick up bacteria sitting around in the shower.

8. If shaving bothers your skin, there are other options.

Shaving might not be the right move for everyone's skin. If you still prefer to be smooth, waxing, either by a professional or with an at-home wax kit, is a safe and gentle choice for your skin, because it removes the hair from the root and doesn't allow bacteria to enter as easily, says Dr. Rodney. "When the hair grows back, the tips are soft, not sharp, and so it's less likely to cause ingrown hairs," she says. Plus, it often takes longer for the hair to grow back than shaving does. For an even longer-term option for sensitive skin, laser hair removal might be for you to avoid the need to shave altogether.

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bestgraffitiremovalproductsicjp7 · 4 years

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samanthasroberts · 6 years

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The 6 Stages Of Trying On A Bikini After Being A Lazy Piece Of Sh*t All Winter

Youve officially survived another winter of dreaded family holidays, surprise engagements, and disguising your 2pm blackout as brunch without entirely losing your dignity. But that also means that in the months between November and March, betches were busy living their best fucking lives, Instagramming cheese plates and colorful fruit cocktails, all while pulling off the illusion that their ass underwent months of squat-like workouts, thanks to overpriced Lulu leggings.

Sure, these PPCS (Post Partum Cuffing Season) side effects are totally justified, but unfortunately for me you, the social media faade that just upped your followers prob also upped your pant size. Bikini season is right around the corner as of like, yesterday, and your besties are dying to be sexually objectified at Tao Beach, but that also means theyre counting on you to pose for pics with them that scream GIRLS TRIP!!! But also can you believe this cleavage rn? while debuting swimwear the size of a hair scrunchie. So if theres one thing I know better than the exact distance it takes to get from work to the bar, its everything a betch goes through following the pre-bikini season DGAF:

Stage 1: The Invitation

After victoriously indulging in an all-carb diet for four months straight, the only phone call thats dreaded more than your gyno calling to deliver test results is your best friend calling to invite you on a ratchet river retreat. This means pausing yourbinge and getting off your ass in hopes of finding a swimsuit thatll cover your perma-winter layer so you dont feel like an IRL Flubber on a rocky boat. Being a possessor of chronic Stage 4 FOMO the good friend that you are, you reluctantly agree to a weekend of staged candid bikini photos while hiding behind a donut pool floatie, as you confirm with a high-pitched OMG YES IM SO THERE! Congratulations, youve just survived your first two-way calling attack.

Stage 2: The Casual Browse

Does your recent Google search history read, “bathing suits that hide my back fat”? Bcuz same. Every betch has Googled some sort of self-loathing ridicule at a point in her life, which means that the quest for the perfect bathing suit has officially begun. But first you attempt to save a little face before baring it all to the poor Victorias Secret employee and peruse your options via Google. After hours of research, only to find yourself 68 weeks deep into Kylie Jenners sluttiest bikini photos, desperate times call for desperate fucking measures, and your Google searches quickly go from “bathing suits” to “how much did Kims fat transfer cost?”

Stage 3: The Dressing Room

They say the camera adds 10 pounds, but they also say the fitting room mirror adds like, 20. Idk if its the shitty interrogation-room lighting, or the fact that my “monthly” bloat has just become a way of life, but TBH entering a womans fitting room is like entering the fucking Chokey. After trying on the stores entire swim inventory, the only thing youve actually accomplished other than realizing youve unknowingly been growing a winter forest below the navel border for the past three months, is realizing that the trendy off-the-shoulder bikini top you tolerated serves no practicality or purpose other than showcasing unwanted armpit vagina.

Stage 4: The Crash Diet

As you leave the store, you make a vow to yourself to go full Emily Blunt for two weeks and to eat nothing but a cube of cheese, but only when feeling like youre gonna drop dead. You stick it out for a solid three hours until your drive home automatically lands you in the In-N-Out drive thru line because whatever, youre getting cheese fries. You start randomly developing a sense of false confidence and mutter shit to yourself like, If they cant accept me at my pregnant Kim K., then they dont deserve me at my revenge bod Khlo. #BIBLE

Stage 5: The Prep

Earth to betches: Bikini season is only like 26% about the actual bikini. You dont get a Chipotle burrito to show off the foil wrapping, do you? Id be lying to you if I said Im not the best version of myself when I have a tan. And youd also be lying if you denied that. It makes you look, like, 10 pounds lighter and it gives the illusion that you physically saw the light of day this winter other than through your sliding glass door while you were covered in potato chip crumbs. You resort to whatever painful process it takes to distract people from the slightest amount of “excess love” hanging off your hips like a fucking ornament, and waxing off that 1960s bush youve been harboring like a fugitive. This results in spending more money on your physical appearance than the value of the actual vacation itself, but thats just, like, the rules of Instagram feminism.

Stage 6: The Presentation

Whether or not your summer bod is ready, a betch knows that the key to living her best vacation life is liquid confidence. ‘Tis the season for 9am beer bongs and chips and guac as a meal replacement, so you finally decide to proudly wear your winter bloat like a badge of honor, because #LoveYoself and (hi) DGAFing is your specialty. Vacays may not be about what you wear, but they sure as hell are about what you drink, so chances are, nobody in their drunk state of mind will even notice your nonexistent insecurities. Plus, drunk goggles make everyone look like a fucking 10, so you win. Now sit back, RELAX, and get that fine-ass awesome personality over here and take a shot with me.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/the-6-stages-of-trying-on-a-bikini-after-being-a-lazy-piece-of-sht-all-winter/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2018/04/11/the-6-stages-of-trying-on-a-bikini-after-being-a-lazy-piece-of-sht-all-winter/

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adambstingus · 6 years

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The 6 Stages Of Trying On A Bikini After Being A Lazy Piece Of Sh*t All Winter

Stage 1: The Invitation

Stage 2: The Casual Browse

Stage 3: The Dressing Room

Stage 4: The Crash Diet

Stage 5: The Prep

Stage 6: The Presentation

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/the-6-stages-of-trying-on-a-bikini-after-being-a-lazy-piece-of-sht-all-winter/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/172840084667

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stopsubstanceabuse1-blog · 6 years

Text

(Natural) Instincts Male Enhancement Penis Enhancement

New Post has been published on https://www.substanceabuseprevention.net/natural-instincts-male-enhancement-penis-enhancement/

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weirdspookystories · 7 years

Text

Diminished Responsibility

I had tried to find myself by running away, but in running from all I knew I was to face something I could never know; myself. Something here is fundamentally wrong...I won’t leave this place but my story will, and through this I become immortal.

Any memories from before were fuzzy fragments that didn’t quite fit. Things had been chaotic and I’d been finding it a struggle to understand more and more recently. I’d been driving aimlessly for far too long, but I had to keep going. As far as possible from home. Into the woods. Leaves spiralled and sank like faading orange torches and the blurring arc of my lights on the endless stretch of road faded momentarily, but I woke again with a start. As far as I drove, I felt miserably unchanged. Time passed slowly no atter how fast I drove. What I'd done still lingered on me, so the thoughtlessness of the road carrying me was blissful.

Emerging from the dense woodland tunneling me, the forest faery turned and saw but it was too late. The entity’s lack of comprehension was almost a perfect imitation of fearlessness, but I must have appeared like a wrathful deity to the harmless creature. My truck tore through the stag like wet paper. I swerved whole seconds too late and slammed directly into a tree. My vision was hazy and my arms wouldn’t move. I believe I passed out before I could process anything.

When I woke again, what seemed to be a different lifetime later, my eyes stung and lungs ached. I felt like someone else, like I’d been placed in my truck after the crash. Then the pain of whiplash and bruises bloomed and I felt like my wretched self once more. The door was crumpled and jammed shut, I had to crawl through the shattered windshield, causing a few cuts on the way but bludgeoning my grogginess. I was understandably frustrated the creature chose my bonnet to dive into. The universe is cruel and unfair. Not my fault though. Not my fault. None of this.

I could see illumination in the sky, but it wasn’t sunrise. It was inorganic, like a city over the horizon, so I continued following the road in that direction. I remember many potholes in the aging tartmac, tripping on them in the dark. In places, the road cracked and gave way to new life, small weeds, and the trail blended into the mud like the sea rolling ashore to wash away the past. As much as things seemed ominous, I had outrun my problems insofar as they were forced by circumstance to the back of my mind, and I took in the scenery with deep, clean breaths of relief to be alive. It was my plan to find help when I reached civilisation, get my truck towed to a mechanic, and work things out from there. I didnt want to think further ahead lest the demon be loosed. I had reclaimed myself for the immediate present.

I walked but the light got no nearer. It was as I realised this that it faded completely, though the moon seemed all the brighter for my sudden darkening. The limited pallette grew colder and more sterile in the moonlight. I rounded a corner and was there. Thousands of people called that place home, and all gone now, I knew. Routine and normality had become a dead, silent place. Whatever caused this...evacuation or disaster, whatever it was, must have happened fast: everything seemed untouched. Time had taken its toll, so it may have been unnoccupied no-mans-land for months or years, but all earthly possessions remained. The air was thick, an intense atmospheric pressure caused a grinding headache. My ears throbbed fast. I continued with my usual determined sense of purpose. My throat scratched a little with impending coughs.

For all its creeping unsettlingnesses, nothing about the town left an image as harrowing as the one vaguely familiar home towards the centre which seemed to have warded away entirely the effects of ageing, as if still lived-in, though simultaneuously too clinically clean. The place looked almost human but the decay of the town around it left it feeling like an empty façade over an unfathomable mystery. I was happy to be investigating a mystery and not dwelling on things.

By now the wisps of faintly moaning breeze carried an equally faint whisper of deja vu, and, as any man with poor impulse control is wont to do, I moved recklessly to investigate. I coughed. Even without the hindsight I have now I knew every move was a mistake, but the door was unlocked, after all. Inside was equally undisturbed, a seemingly normal house to anyone but me. I recognised every dustless ornament, all the furniture. Things I had owned previously. I coughed again, and again. I recovered a moment to see a figure at the end of the hallway, and the coughing reached a scratchy, painful crescendo. I spluttered and gasped for breath, my eyes watered, and the person whispered, “We have awoken through you the great pioneer, the one. Through their power and control I am immortal.” I didn’t understand, and they were barely audible. It was like a prayer, I think. My coughing subsided, but in its wake came a dreadful pressure, like a storm was about to unleash. The house that was my home in another world leaked sticky, bloodlike sap from wooden furniture and brick walls.

I stepped back into the cool outdoors, hands on my head and hearing only pounding. Then, more audibly, he told me I was done. I looked up in confused fear, despite the painful brightness of daylight fighting my vision, and saw him fully. An existential impossibility, a caricature of myself. My worst features were all more prominent on this horrific animal, and I knew then it was him who had torn my family apart, ruined me over the course of the last few days. He had murdered my wife, taken away my family, burnt my home to the ground. He smiled as I struggled to understand what was happening and with that, I could smell the embers again. I sobbed and threw up. Everything was out of my control and my constant disorientation recently was all his doing.

I found myself by my truck. The deer was gone, but the tree caving the bonnet inwards remained. For a moment I thought I’d had some weird concussion-nightmare, taking deep long breaths of clean air. I was still just as stuck and now more time had been lost: it was late afternoon, and the sky was starting to warm to yellow. I felt cold all of a sudden as I looked down, inspecting my truck to see...insects. Millions of swarming insects crawling from cracks in the road and out of the ground, crawling away as though something underground had disturbed them. I began to run when I felt the tremor and realised that despite there being no town in walking distance, the dream was all real. My doppelganger was calmly walking towards me from the woods, and the adrenaline of the chase set in.

Tremors continued, and feeling the world beneath me unsettle itself was confirmation that whatever this place was, I shouldn’t be there. I ran as fast as I could around tree-trunks and underbrush, until the me-who-wasn’t-me was long gone from my view, but I soon found myself caged by a sheer rock wall. Cold and indomitable. My hideous double was just a few metres away somehow, and I was now entirely cornered. A tremor threw me into the rock but the beast wearing my body seemed not to notice. This was a turning point, the straw that brutalised the camel’s back. No more weakness. I felt furious, I had put up with enough. It was always me that put up with this shit. I was going to stand up for myself. The fire of fury drove me to grab the Puppet’s head, and I slammed it’s stolen face into the cliff-face. Again and again and again. My arms hurt but I continued until the rag-doll started getting cold and its’ neck was ragged pulp. Righteous justice was served and my very self was reclaimed.

Into the woods again. I knew where to go. Memory of an earth tunnel in a barren clearing replaced all memory of some abandoned town I had once lived in. The illusion of a dea town, at least. Things became clearer with the provocateur demolished.

I’m going deep into the ground and I won’t see sunlight again, unless somehow my remains are ever dragged out, so I leave this letter here. Now you may take the power. The remains of my truck seems to be an important place in all this. Maybe that’s because we killed my wife inside the stuffy cab. I’d reclaimed myself from the Puppet, so now to face the hand, the Pioneer. This feels right.

#short fiction #my content #writing #horror #creepypasta #surrealism #delusion #stories #short horror

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johnclapperne · 7 years

Text

How to Be Active in the Sun and Be Good to Your Skin

At races, you see triathletes quickly spray on sunscreen — even passing the bottle around because so many competitors forgot to bring their own. During the race, few athletes take the time to reapply sunscreen (the race clock is ticking after all). So why does protecting our skin from the sun often remain nothing more than afterthought, especially when doing so can have such a significant impact on our future health?

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s (CDC) 2016 Skin Cancer Prevention Progress Report, skin cancer is the most commonly diagnosed cancer in the U.S. — melanoma causes more deaths than any other type of skin cancer; and unlike other cancers, skin cancer rates continue to rise. These statistics are worsened by the fact that most cases are preventable—the CDC reports that more than a quarter of women and one-third of men do not consistently use sun protection.

For those athletes who fail in safeguarding their skin from damaging ultraviolet rays, Allison Arthur, MD, FAAD, of Sand Lake Dermatology Center in Orlando, Florida provides her sun safety tips:

Sunscreens that contain physical blockers zinc oxide and titanium dioxide are effective as soon as they are applied to the skin. Chemical sunscreens like avobenzone and octinoxate need to be absorbed before they become effective. You should apply these sunscreens 15 minutes before going outside.

The biggest mistake I see with sunscreen is a lack of reapplication. People put on sunscreen in the morning and get a false sense of security, assuming they are protected for the day. Under normal circumstances, you should reapply sunscreen every two hours. For athletes who are swimming or perspiring heavily, more frequent application is needed. Ideally, triathletes should reapply at transition points.

Using Ultraviolet Protection Factor (UPF) 50+ clothing, sleeves, and hats can offer additional protection.

People should be diligent in their application efforts. A common mistake is forgetting to apply sunscreen to areas like the back of the neck, ears, hands and tops of the feet.

READ MORE > 6 WAYS TO KEEP YOUR SKIN HEALTHY IN THE SUN

For those who participate in triathlon or running groups, you could help make applying sunscreen a habit among fellow athletes:

Ask everyone to purchase a travel-size sunscreen bottle that they can carry with them while they run or cycle.

Start each training session having all group members apply sunscreen.

Take short sunscreen-reapplication breaks every two hours.

If your group has a sag wagon or aid station during long training sessions, have a bottle of sunscreen available for athletes.

DO A SELF-SKIN EXAM

In addition to applying sunscreen, Tsippora Shainhouse, MD, FAAD, board-certified dermatologist in Beverly Hills and clinical instructor at the University of Southern California, recommends performing a self-skin exam once a month to look for new or changing moles using this ABCDE method:

(A) ASYMMETRY

If the mole doesn’t look perfectly round or oval, or you can’t draw a line through it to have two mirror images of each other, have it checked out.

(B) BORDERS

If the edges of the mole are not smooth, but appear more jagged or smudged or have irregular “bites” in it or new “feet” or bumps sticking out, have it checked out.

If the color of your mole is changing, if it is darker or a different color than all of your other moles, or if there are new mixes of colors, including light brown, dark brown, black, blue, gray, white, pink or red, it should be checked out.

(D) DIAMETER

If the size of your mole is six millimeters or greater, otherwise known as the size of a pencil eraser, consider having it checked out because melanoma may be more likely to develop in larger lesions. However, melanomas can also be tiny, so it is important to show any new mole or changing mole whatever the size, to your dermatologist.

(E) EVOLVING

This is probably the most important feature to consider. If any mole that you remember having is changing or “evolving” at all, have it checked out by a dermatologist.

in protecting yourself from the sun is even more important that monitoring your stats, getting in that long run and keeping your gear in tip-top shape. Your skin will be with you a lot longer than your bike or PR.

The post How to Be Active in the Sun and Be Good to Your Skin appeared first on Under Armour.

http://ift.tt/2uf73v6

#How to Be Active in the Sun and Be Good to Your Skin

0 notes

albertcaldwellne · 7 years

Text

How to Be Active in the Sun and Be Good to Your Skin

For those athletes who fail in safeguarding their skin from damaging ultraviolet rays, Allison Arthur, MD, FAAD, of Sand Lake Dermatology Center in Orlando, Florida provides her sun safety tips:

Using Ultraviolet Protection Factor (UPF) 50+ clothing, sleeves, and hats can offer additional protection.

People should be diligent in their application efforts. A common mistake is forgetting to apply sunscreen to areas like the back of the neck, ears, hands and tops of the feet.

READ MORE > 6 WAYS TO KEEP YOUR SKIN HEALTHY IN THE SUN

For those who participate in triathlon or running groups, you could help make applying sunscreen a habit among fellow athletes:

Ask everyone to purchase a travel-size sunscreen bottle that they can carry with them while they run or cycle.

Start each training session having all group members apply sunscreen.

Take short sunscreen-reapplication breaks every two hours.

If your group has a sag wagon or aid station during long training sessions, have a bottle of sunscreen available for athletes.

DO A SELF-SKIN EXAM

(A) ASYMMETRY

If the mole doesn’t look perfectly round or oval, or you can’t draw a line through it to have two mirror images of each other, have it checked out.

(B) BORDERS

If the edges of the mole are not smooth, but appear more jagged or smudged or have irregular “bites” in it or new “feet” or bumps sticking out, have it checked out.

(D) DIAMETER

(E) EVOLVING

This is probably the most important feature to consider. If any mole that you remember having is changing or “evolving” at all, have it checked out by a dermatologist.

The post How to Be Active in the Sun and Be Good to Your Skin appeared first on Under Armour.

http://ift.tt/2uf73v6

#How to Be Active in the Sun and Be Good to Your Skin

0 notes

neilmillerne · 7 years

Text

How to Be Active in the Sun and Be Good to Your Skin

For those athletes who fail in safeguarding their skin from damaging ultraviolet rays, Allison Arthur, MD, FAAD, of Sand Lake Dermatology Center in Orlando, Florida provides her sun safety tips:

Using Ultraviolet Protection Factor (UPF) 50+ clothing, sleeves, and hats can offer additional protection.

People should be diligent in their application efforts. A common mistake is forgetting to apply sunscreen to areas like the back of the neck, ears, hands and tops of the feet.

READ MORE > 6 WAYS TO KEEP YOUR SKIN HEALTHY IN THE SUN

For those who participate in triathlon or running groups, you could help make applying sunscreen a habit among fellow athletes:

Ask everyone to purchase a travel-size sunscreen bottle that they can carry with them while they run or cycle.

Start each training session having all group members apply sunscreen.

Take short sunscreen-reapplication breaks every two hours.

If your group has a sag wagon or aid station during long training sessions, have a bottle of sunscreen available for athletes.

DO A SELF-SKIN EXAM

(A) ASYMMETRY

If the mole doesn’t look perfectly round or oval, or you can’t draw a line through it to have two mirror images of each other, have it checked out.

(B) BORDERS

If the edges of the mole are not smooth, but appear more jagged or smudged or have irregular “bites” in it or new “feet” or bumps sticking out, have it checked out.

(D) DIAMETER

(E) EVOLVING

This is probably the most important feature to consider. If any mole that you remember having is changing or “evolving” at all, have it checked out by a dermatologist.

The post How to Be Active in the Sun and Be Good to Your Skin appeared first on Under Armour.

http://ift.tt/2uf73v6

#How to Be Active in the Sun and Be Good to Your Skin

0 notes

almajonesnjna · 7 years

Text

How to Be Active in the Sun and Be Good to Your Skin

For those athletes who fail in safeguarding their skin from damaging ultraviolet rays, Allison Arthur, MD, FAAD, of Sand Lake Dermatology Center in Orlando, Florida provides her sun safety tips:

Using Ultraviolet Protection Factor (UPF) 50+ clothing, sleeves, and hats can offer additional protection.

People should be diligent in their application efforts. A common mistake is forgetting to apply sunscreen to areas like the back of the neck, ears, hands and tops of the feet.

READ MORE > 6 WAYS TO KEEP YOUR SKIN HEALTHY IN THE SUN

For those who participate in triathlon or running groups, you could help make applying sunscreen a habit among fellow athletes:

Ask everyone to purchase a travel-size sunscreen bottle that they can carry with them while they run or cycle.

Start each training session having all group members apply sunscreen.

Take short sunscreen-reapplication breaks every two hours.

If your group has a sag wagon or aid station during long training sessions, have a bottle of sunscreen available for athletes.

DO A SELF-SKIN EXAM

(A) ASYMMETRY

If the mole doesn’t look perfectly round or oval, or you can’t draw a line through it to have two mirror images of each other, have it checked out.

(B) BORDERS

If the edges of the mole are not smooth, but appear more jagged or smudged or have irregular “bites” in it or new “feet” or bumps sticking out, have it checked out.

(D) DIAMETER

(E) EVOLVING

This is probably the most important feature to consider. If any mole that you remember having is changing or “evolving” at all, have it checked out by a dermatologist.

The post How to Be Active in the Sun and Be Good to Your Skin appeared first on Under Armour.

http://ift.tt/2uf73v6

#How to Be Active in the Sun and Be Good to Your Skin

0 notes

ruthellisneda · 7 years

Text

How to Be Active in the Sun and Be Good to Your Skin

For those athletes who fail in safeguarding their skin from damaging ultraviolet rays, Allison Arthur, MD, FAAD, of Sand Lake Dermatology Center in Orlando, Florida provides her sun safety tips:

Using Ultraviolet Protection Factor (UPF) 50+ clothing, sleeves, and hats can offer additional protection.

People should be diligent in their application efforts. A common mistake is forgetting to apply sunscreen to areas like the back of the neck, ears, hands and tops of the feet.

READ MORE > 6 WAYS TO KEEP YOUR SKIN HEALTHY IN THE SUN

For those who participate in triathlon or running groups, you could help make applying sunscreen a habit among fellow athletes:

Ask everyone to purchase a travel-size sunscreen bottle that they can carry with them while they run or cycle.

Start each training session having all group members apply sunscreen.

Take short sunscreen-reapplication breaks every two hours.

If your group has a sag wagon or aid station during long training sessions, have a bottle of sunscreen available for athletes.

DO A SELF-SKIN EXAM

(A) ASYMMETRY

If the mole doesn’t look perfectly round or oval, or you can’t draw a line through it to have two mirror images of each other, have it checked out.

(B) BORDERS

If the edges of the mole are not smooth, but appear more jagged or smudged or have irregular “bites” in it or new “feet” or bumps sticking out, have it checked out.

(D) DIAMETER

(E) EVOLVING

This is probably the most important feature to consider. If any mole that you remember having is changing or “evolving” at all, have it checked out by a dermatologist.

The post How to Be Active in the Sun and Be Good to Your Skin appeared first on Under Armour.

http://ift.tt/2uf73v6

#How to Be Active in the Sun and Be Good to Your Skin

0 notes

joshuabradleyn · 7 years

Text

How to Be Active in the Sun and Be Good to Your Skin

For those athletes who fail in safeguarding their skin from damaging ultraviolet rays, Allison Arthur, MD, FAAD, of Sand Lake Dermatology Center in Orlando, Florida provides her sun safety tips:

Using Ultraviolet Protection Factor (UPF) 50+ clothing, sleeves, and hats can offer additional protection.

People should be diligent in their application efforts. A common mistake is forgetting to apply sunscreen to areas like the back of the neck, ears, hands and tops of the feet.

READ MORE > 6 WAYS TO KEEP YOUR SKIN HEALTHY IN THE SUN

For those who participate in triathlon or running groups, you could help make applying sunscreen a habit among fellow athletes:

Ask everyone to purchase a travel-size sunscreen bottle that they can carry with them while they run or cycle.

Start each training session having all group members apply sunscreen.

Take short sunscreen-reapplication breaks every two hours.

If your group has a sag wagon or aid station during long training sessions, have a bottle of sunscreen available for athletes.

DO A SELF-SKIN EXAM

(A) ASYMMETRY

If the mole doesn’t look perfectly round or oval, or you can’t draw a line through it to have two mirror images of each other, have it checked out.

(B) BORDERS

If the edges of the mole are not smooth, but appear more jagged or smudged or have irregular “bites” in it or new “feet” or bumps sticking out, have it checked out.

(D) DIAMETER

(E) EVOLVING

This is probably the most important feature to consider. If any mole that you remember having is changing or “evolving” at all, have it checked out by a dermatologist.

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Making Your Provider Your Health Ally

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Making Your Provider Your Health Ally

How to team up with your provider to enhance your care

By Kimberly Goad March 2017

Spending a day at the pool or riding her BMX bike shouldn’t have been cause for concern after Victoria Bryson was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes in 2013. But the 8-year-old was repeatedly missing the warning signs of hypoglycemia in the hours following physical activity, a condition known as hypoglycemia unawareness.

When Victoria’s endocrinologist, Susan Phillips, MD, recommended she start using a continuous glucose monitor (CGM) in addition to a pump, Victoria’s mother didn’t need to be convinced. The benefits of the device, which records and displays glucose readings in real time, were obvious. “To really fine-tune my daughter’s diabetes management, it made sense to have a CGM as an additional tool to monitor the lows and the highs,” says Polina Bryson, who lives with her husband and two children in San Diego. “We could improve control and quality of life.”

But before Victoria could get the device, Bryson needed to clear an enormous hurdle: cost. The particular CGM recommended by Phillips was a few months shy of being approved for pediatric use by the Food and Drug Administration. That meant Phillips would be prescribing the device for off-label use, possibly hindering insurance coverage. And the Brysons couldn’t afford to buy a CGM out of pocket.

The obstacles seemed insurmountable, Bryson says, until she teamed up with Phillips, who wrote what’s known as a “letter of medical necessity” to the insurance company. Phillips detailed how Victoria Bryson could benefit from using a CGM, citing research studies and including Victoria’s blood glucose logs, which showed that she was having lows and that they were pervasive.

“You have to make a case for using whatever device, documenting the safety and efficacy of it, and explaining in detail the risk that the patient is suffering due to the lack of intervention,” says Phillips, a pediatric endocrinologist at Rady Children’s Hospital–San Diego and an assistant professor of pediatrics at the University of California–San Diego School of Medicine.

The strategy paid off: Not only was the CGM covered by insurance, saving the Brysons thousands of dollars, but it happened in a timely fashion. “Our endocrinologist knew what to do,” says Bryson. “She knew what language to use, what data to include in the request to document medical necessity.”

Joining forces with your primary care provider or specialist can lead to improved diabetes management. But some people, particularly those newly diagnosed, may not realize the power of partnering with a provider to boost their quality of care.

“Your physician is there to collaborate and be your partner because you’re the one who—day in and day out—is making the decisions and figuring out what’s working and what’s not,” says Martha Funnell, MS, RN, CDE, FAADE, associate research scientist in the Department of Learning Health Sciences at the University of Michigan Medical School. “Having a provider who’s open to that type of relationship is absolutely critical because this is a long-term chronic disease.”

Forming that relationship begins with listening, says Phillips. “If you do that enough, patients believe you and trust that you’re going to help them the next time something comes up,” she says.

Keep reading to see how your provider can help you get the treatment you need when you find yourself in challenging situations.

Situation: Your doctor recommends a pump to help with better blood glucose management. You’re familiar with the basics, but you’re not entirely comfortable using the device.

Strategy: Your doctor might not have the time or the detailed knowledge needed to help you learn about all aspects of self-care. That’s why it’s important to work with someone who can refer you to another provider without delay. “Diabetes is a team sport,” says Funnell. “There are lots of other people you need to be working with: the educator, the dietitian, the community pharmacist. Part of making your provider your ally is about saying, ‘I understand you’ve only got 10 minutes, but I want to learn about this. Who else can I talk to?’ ”

Situation: Your doctor suggests a CGM to help you manage your diabetes. But you’re on Medicare, which generally doesn’t cover the device. (Medicare recently announced it would cover one brand of FDA-approved CGM for making treatment decisions; however, it’s not yet clear when coverage will begin.)

Strategy: “Continuous glucose monitoring has evidence-based benefits for people with diabetes, and yet access to these technologies is limited for many people,” says David Kerr, MD, FRCPE, director of research and innovation at the William Sansum Diabetes Center in Santa Barbara, California. His advice: Don’t take “no” for an answer. If your insurance plan doesn’t cover a CGM, ask your provider to write a letter of medical necessity to your insurance company explaining why you need the device. If you’re denied, ask your provider to appeal the decision with what’s known as a “peer-to-peer review”—typically a phone conversation between your physician and a physician at your insurance company.

If that still doesn’t do the trick, craft a letter of your own. “I can make the case, but it can be much more powerful coming from the patient,” says Veronica Brady, PhD, MSN, FNP-BC, BC-ADM, CDE, a nurse practitioner at the University of Nevada–Reno. Ask your provider for a copy of the original letter sent on your behalf so you can address yours to the same person and include any peer-reviewed studies it mentions. Add a copy of your blood glucose logs to prove your case. Then personalize your letter with details from your own experience.

Situation: Your doctor recently prescribed insulin to help you manage your type 2 diabetes, but you skip doses on more occasions than you care to admit. You’re afraid you’ll gain weight, or perhaps it’s the injections that scare you, so you’re less than honest with your doctor.

Strategy: Fudging about any aspect of your treatment doesn’t do you or your provider any good. If you’re not able to stay on track, it’s important to be honest so you can reassess your goals.

“Patients worry you’ll be upset that they didn’t take their medicine or didn’t stick with whatever plan you set as a goal,” says Neil Skolnik, MD, professor of family and consumer medicine at Temple University School of Medicine and member of the American Diabetes Association’s primary care advisory group. “Whenever you put two people together—and this is true whether they’re longtime friends, or doctors and patients—there’s value in saying, ‘What are we trying to accomplish together?’ Once you clarify the goals, it’s easier to move forward.” Your doctor isn’t there to judge you, but to help you find solutions.

Another thing to remember: Honesty is a two-way street. For your provider to be your ally, he or she will need to deliver the cold, hard truth. “You want a provider who will hold up the mirror and say, ‘This is what’s going on. I’m going to give you the information. What choice are you going to make?’ ” says Morrison.

Take Harold Young. He weighed 465 pounds when he was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes at age 27. But it wasn’t until he began seeing a new primary care doctor five years later that he fully realized he needed to do something about his weight. “He didn’t sugarcoat anything,” says Young, manager of team development at the American Diabetes Association. “At that first appointment, he said, ‘You’re going to die earlier than you need to if you don’t get a handle on your weight.’ ”

Young spent the next few years trying to shed pounds and improve his blood glucose levels through diet and exercise, but with limited success. Finally, his doctor recommended bariatric surgery. By then, doctor and patient had developed enough trust for Young to confide his misgivings. “My fear was that I’d go through this major surgery—then what?” says Young, now 41. He was also worried about pain. His doctor referred him to a surgeon who alleviated his fears with straight talk. “He said, ‘Initially, I’ll give you pain meds, but then you’ll have to learn to deal with it,’ ” recalls Young.

Now, four years later, Young has lost more than 200 pounds and he’s met his A1C goals. The lesson? “You are the steward of your own health, but you have to trust your doctor,” he says.

Situation: You’re curious about a new treatment you’ve heard of, but you leave your doctor’s office without getting around to asking about it.

Strategy: “Go in with an agenda,” says Tyree Morrison, CRNP, CDE, a nurse practitioner with Frederick Primary Care Associates in Frederick, Maryland. That’s how Susette Langston approaches her doctor visits. Diagnosed with type 1 diabetes 14 years ago, she arrives for appointments armed with a small notebook detailing her blood glucose readings, blood pressure and other test results, as well as a file of things she wants to discuss with her doctor, such as magazine articles related to some aspect of diabetes she’s unclear about.

“I don’t want to forget anything that’s important to me,” says Langston, who lives in Rochester, New York. “I jot down questions as they occur to me and keep them with my blood glucose readings so I will have them handy for my doctor visit.” She tries to save time early in a visit so she can spend it asking questions later. “While you are waiting for your doctor to come into the exam room, take off your shoes and socks so you’re ready to have your feet examined, as they should be at each visit,” she says. (For more tips, see “Make The Most of Your Doctor Visit,” below.)

Situation: You’re having trouble paying for your insulin. Or maybe you’re curious about a new drug you’ve seen advertised on TV but you’re worried about the cost.

Strategy: Let your doctor know you’re having trouble financially. He or she may be able to revise your prescriptions by suggesting an equally effective but less expensive medication, or recommend coupons and assistance programs to help you cover the expense. Also ask your pharmacist for information that you can share with your doctor, whether that’s about cost or medication facts.

Make the Most of Your Doctor Visit

Fifteen minutes. That’s how much time you’re typically allotted with your health care provider. Here’s howto make the most of it.

Prep for Your Visit

Bring a detailed blood glucose log; a list of your medications—not just the names, but also dosages and time of day you take each; and any other health forms or documents. Make a note of when you last had your eyes, feet, and blood pressure screened. If you cover the basics and your urgent needs quickly, you’ll have more time for an open conversation.

Ask Questions

“Between visits, write down the things that are of concern to you,” says Veronica Brady, PhD, MSN, FNP-BC, BC-ADM, CDE, a nurse practitioner at the University of Nevada–Reno. Put a star next to the questions you feel are the most pressing, such as: Should I be concerned about the tingling or numbness in my feet?

Recap

Review everything that was covered in your exam, as well as next steps. “If your doctor is referring you to another [provider], ask for a copy of any correspondence so you’ll have a record of what’s being said about you,” suggests David Kerr, MD, FRCPE, director of research and innovation at the William Sansum Diabetes Center in Santa Barbara, California. “It will move the clinician to use language that’s understandable.”

Find a Diabetes Educator

Visit diabetes.org/findaprogram.

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