#f&c: cake beloved

[feppepurin]

can i just say how flabbergasted i was by the last scene in ep4 . IDK WHY BUT IT CRACKED MT UP THAT CAKE WSS JUST LIKE 'got anythin in your big ol muumuu 🧐🧐' and simons response was 'i need to relapse'

[spectra-bear]

no comment

[sneetysnarty]

get shaken, idiot

[crismakesstuff]

finally did this

[zorrollusion]

I wish I could-

If only I knew when the last time I'd see you would be.

[wraithdance]

The Five Year Plan | Gaz x Reader

Synopsis: When your fiancé breaks up with you, you start to question your timeline; who needs a man when you can have a baby yourself? Who better to ask for help on creating one than your arch-nemesis Kyle Garrick?

Note: F!Reader, Fat/Plus sized Reader, Reader is implied to be Black but can be read as WoC, Readers nickname is 'Siggy', there will be no y/n use Content warning: none; besides a terrible grasp of british-isms

Chapter One: Piss off Kyle

It was while sitting beneath the awning of your favorite bistro that you’d come to a great realization. Hugo Montclair, your fiance of three years, was not just a bore but a bit of a jackass. 

Also, the lavender cake was no longer listed on Le Misa’s menu. So, technically two great realizations. As bad as it sounded, one concerned you more than the other.

Squinting you give the laminated sheet another thorough read to confirm your suspicions and… ah, yes. It’s not there. Where it should be between the ladies fingers and the lemon cake is an empty, discolored space. 

With a manicured finger you chip away at the corners to reveal the sloping letter ‘L’ beneath the meticulously placed correction tape. 

This was no good.

“Siggy, darling have you heard a word I said?”

You hum in reply, still deeply baffled with the current conundrum. Hugo calls your name again, not satisfied until you’ve given him your attention. 

He leans his head down to be in your line of sight. He’s a bit too blonde and polished for you not to focus your attention on. Like a shiny beacon. You try not to sigh deeply and instead plaster on a smile. 

“Yes, I heard you darling, you want to break up because you’re seeing Maddie from downstairs.”

Hugo extends his dainty manicured hands across the small table to cover yours above the menu. 

“I’m so sorry, I never wanted to hurt you this way.”

His eyes are carefully soft and his expression does that awkward stretch people do when attempting to project a facsimile of contriteness. In this case it just makes the skin around his mouth pucker oddly, displacing the filler he swears he gets for preventive measures.

You pat his hand politely with a smile “It’s fine, Hugo, really. Do you think I can borrow your menu? I think there's been a bit of a mistake.”

You are sliding the paper to your side of the table before you can finish the sentence. Hugo is a bit taken aback and blanches.

Another sweeping glance at Hugo’s menu reveals much of the same. 

There’s no lavender cake.

“Look, I know this is hard to take in but I want us to try to at least be amicable. We’ve been together for years and your parents and friends adore me.”

At this you snort but quickly cover it with a cough. Your parents tolerated him at best and your friends had made it well known they disapproved of Hugo. (Something about being a posh chihuahua enamored with its own self importance.)

You frown thinking of the dramatics his mother would put on inevitably, so sure you’d ruined the engagement to her son on purpose. 

But really what could you do? 

It wasn’t the most convenient thing to have your boss's beloved son kick you to the metaphorical curb, but technically you were the one who had been cheated on. Totally not your fault this time!

“I said I got it, you can’t help who you love and etcetera.” You give a cluck of your tongue before looking up once more hoping to catch the circling barista's eye. 

The mid afternoon lunch crowd at Le Misa’s is blessedly tame for a Thursday. The gloomy weather outside makes it easier to spot the jittery teen in a crimson red apron. The poor girl is glued to a corner, hunched over and clutching a notepad in white knuckle grip. 

She sees you shift in her periphery and snaps terrified eyes to your half raised arm. You do your best to smile sans teeth as you wave her over, coaxing her closer with small fluid movements. 

You hope you’re projecting calming vibes because she looks a bit green around the gills from the very thought of being needed by a customer. 

When she’s meters from your table you lean forward, your tits and belly squash a bit over the table causing your empty saucer to clatter before settling. Hugo, despite his offended chittering, stops long enough to stare at your chest. With a roll of your eyes you ignore his open panting. Typical.

“Hi darling,” you chirp in an octave higher than your usual. “I just had a quick question about the cakes? There used to be a lavender one here, I’ve been ordering it for years. Can you tell me what happened to it?”

“Um w-well.” The trembling girl blinks are twitchy and rapid, sputtering out um’s and oh’s.

‘Oh, no’ you think to yourself. 

You might have broken her. Still, you nod your head in support waiting for her to gather her wits. The poor thing was obviously a new employ with a bitch of a case of social anxiety.

Your efforts are for nothing in the end because a loud clearing throat causes you both to freeze, just as it’s seem she’d gotten up her courage.

Your cheek ticks as you watch the skittish girl clam up again. Hugo’s gaze has pried off your cleavage long enough to laser something disapproving and pointed at the side of your forehead. 

He’s even doing that thing with his face that you’ve always hated. His cheeks suck in like a goldfish and he does the eyebrow raise and head cock that screams ‘I am very displeased.’

“What? I just need to ask her something. I'll be just a sec.”

Hugo’s frown only deepens and he lets out the most dramatic sigh you’ve ever heard from a thirty two year old man.

It causes you to roll your eyes. Really, why couldn’t he just break up with you through text? This whole kerfuffle was starting to drag on and ruin your already limited lunch hour.

What happened to just saying ‘it’s not you, it’s me?’ or ghosting like a normal person? 

You give the hovering teenager a tight smile and lift a single manicured finger to signify the need for a moment. She scurries back into the safety of the French doors into the cafe's interior before your hand has a chance to lower.

“Hugo darling,” Your tone is careful, neutral like the one you use to disarm your irate clients. 

“I’m really not upset I promise, we’d barely begun planning the wedding and we never got around to moving in with each other. Really there’s no harm-”

“She's pregnant.” he blurts out suddenly. 

A record scratches in your brain because, “What?”

Hugo grimaces. “She’s about three months pregnant. I didn’t know how to tell you.”

One blink. Two… before you’re sure there wasn’t a punchline coming. 

“Are you taking the piss right now?”

“Sweetheart,” His hands raise in defense “don’t get upset-”

“Oh what the actual FUCK Hugo? You told me you wanted to wait until marriage before considering children!” Your hiss is low and dark. 

More than a small part of you is satisfied with his flinch back to avoid your venom. You're slightly aware of the scene you’re causing but really! The man had kept his sperm under lock and key like his swimmers were precious jewels!

It’s the one thing he’d put his foot down about, content to let you drive the relationship otherwise.

‘I have to be considerate of my legacy as a Montclair, Siggy.’

‘We can talk about it after the wedding, Siggy.’ 

You didn’t understand the hang up because the Montclair clan were as distant from the crown as you were to Beyoncé! Still he’d been adamant about not having a child out of wedlock. 

You’re not very kind about reminding him of the fact either.

“I did mean that, I swear,” he ruffles his coiffed blonde hair, the pomade holding firm but is no match for the havoc his slender fingers trail. “It just happened and Madelyn and I decided it was a good thing.”

He huffs “I mean let’s be realistic Siggy, she’s different from you. She’s a bit more equipped to take care of a child than you are.”

Oh ho! Now that was rich. You were chomping at the bit to hear how the barely legal heiress was better equipped to birth a baby than you were!

“How so!” Your tone is one translating the utmost disbelief and sarcasm. 

Hugo waves a hand in the air, it’s so dismissive and you consider punching him in the nose for it. “She’s just much more flexible.” 

Well ouch?

There’s a Rolodex of adjectives your litany of exes used to describe you before they dumped you. 

Uptight, strict, aloof, intense. ‘Heartless harpy who feeds on the souls of innocent men’. 

The last one came from a starving poet who’d been freeloading on your nice suede green couch before you'd kicked him and his lute out. How you managed to find the one man in London with dreams of being a modern day bard, who knows.

(You did admire his ways with words and his tongue was capable of art). It had admittedly stung a bit more than the others and you needed an extra hen session with the girls to unpack the resulting feels. 

Nonetheless, you’ve never been called inflexible. 

Matter of fact, you were pretty fucking flexible! Your Pilates teacher had crowed about it several times during class, thank you very much.  (Maybe he was just trying to get you to put out but still, a compliment was a compliment.)

Momentarily you consider if that was actually supposed to be a dig at your weight but Hugo frantically rambles on as if reading your mind. 

“I just mean that you work long hours at Mum’s firm and you’ve told me yourself you wouldn’t stop working even if you were pregnant.”

“So what!”

“So, that’s an awful way to raise a child Siggy! Madelyn works for herself and has the time to dedicate to a baby that you don’t.”

“Of course she has the time!” you cry out in exasperation, ignoring Hugo’s shushing. If he wanted you to react better he shouldn’t have dropped this bomb in public!

“She teaches yoga to the elderly in her perfect fucking apartment! I’ve been a barrister for all of 2 seconds and I can’t just give up my position!”

Hugo rolls his eyes with the dramatic flare only an aristocrat could pull off. “I’ve been trying to work on our relationship for months; you’ve blown me off every time saying you were working or there was a crisis with your friends.”

“I thought proposing would change things but…” The sad look does make some guilt well up into your veins. 

Hugo’s shoulder drop and his blue eyes are a bit misty. It makes your throat close with panic. Hugo was prone to sobbing and you really needed to intercept that train before it derailed.

“Hugo-”

“It doesn’t even feel like you like me sometimes!” He’s hiccuping and throwing his hands in the air in exasperation before you know it. 

Oh for fucks sake!

“It’s like you view me as more of a convenience than a partner. I’ve only ever seen you truly happy over coupons or work or cakes!”

Fat tears roll down his face and you’re handing him your linen napkin with a sigh. He thanks you and blows his nose loudly enough for other tables to glance your way. Wonderful.

When he composes himself you try to refute him.

“Hugo, that's not true, I like you,” His gives you a look of complete disbelief that sets you on the defense. “Really I do! I just…”

Your brows furrow as words evade you. You really wish he would have just broken up with you via text.

“I show it differently that’s all.” Your shoulders sag in defeat.

Hugo gives you a sad smile. It’s watery and his face is still a bit splotchy.

“But not like Madelyn does. Be honest, did you ever love me?”

You feel like an absolute bitch because you can’t answer him. After a while you both accept that it was about as much as you could say.

It’s only when you’re halfway to the office that you realize you never did get an answer about the cake.

Kyle Garrick had a radar for when you were about to make a fool of yourself. The man had somehow been privy to every embarrassing moment you’ve had in your shared building. You couldn’t prove it, but he had to have some kind of sixth sense for your personal humiliation. 

There was no other explanation because the entire six years you’d lived across from him, he was always conveniently near when shit went awry.

Like that time you locked yourself out wearing only a ratty towel when reaching for a parcel. His stupidly pretty face only twitched in amusement seeing you hunched over and dripping wet. 

You’d been attempting to jimmy the cheap lock with a stray paper clip you found discarded nearby. It hadn’t gone well, as you’d been more focused on trying to keep your tits and thighs within the thin, cotton fabric.

(They really should make towels for bigger girls more accessible, honestly it was ridiculous!)

It hadn’t been your finest moment but he could have had the decency to look away. Instead, he leaned his broad shoulder against his doorway, content to watch you struggle. 

You’d snapped at him asking what his problem was and his only reply was ‘nippy in here, isn’t it?’ 

He did eventually help you break into your flat, but only after you’d called him as many names as you could think of. He’d waited out your tantrum without as much of a twitch. He’d simply taken the paper clip from you and sank to the floor in front of the doorknob.

His big hands were surprisingly much more dexterous than yours. You’d never admit to the lump in your throat or the shudder starting at your toes while staring at the long brown digits.

It didn’t help that his whiskey colored eyes bore into yours with an unspoken question when you made a panicked sound. The side of his head had grazed your breasts and the back of the hand holding your towel when he shifted on his knees. The light touch was clearly accidental, but still molten lava shot through you like a rocket on fire.

Intrusive thoughts of him kneeling before you in another context caused you to choke on your saliva. You tried so hard to clear your throat subtly but an embarrassing wheezing sound still managed to escape. Add insult to injury, the infuriating man had to pat your back when your body wracked with coughs.

You weren’t proud that you told him to fuck right off when he finally got the door open. You ignored his sarcastic ‘You’re welcome, luv” and slammed the door in his smug face. 

That was nearly two years ago and the start of your vendetta against the irritating neighbor.

Per usual, he finds you just outside your doorway causing a scene. This time, you’re being clung to by your now ex-fiancés mistress.

Madelyn’s wails are loud, keening things that are razor sharp against your eardrums. Her tearful pleading is loud enough for you to miss the ding of the elevator as it stops on your floor. 

Kyle strides from the lift like a living bronzed Adonis. 

With gritted teeth you curse every deity known to mankind.

Wonderful. Truly, amazing actually!

He’s clearly coming back from a run, His arms are comically large and gleaming with a thin layer of sweat on his brown skin. You’re able to make out the intricate tattooed shield containing the numbers ‘141’ on his bicep. It’s the first you’d seen of it (not that you were keeping an eye out for it before). 

His sleeveless jumper is damp and half zipped to show off a view of his firm pectorals and the first row of his 6-pack. You’re about to peek lower to his loose gym shorts when he catches your stray perusal and raises a singular brow.

“Everything alright, love?”

“Just peachy, Kyle, thank you.” you snipe in a clipped tone. “Please feel free to run along.”

Your snarky dismissal is prickly enough that most people would call you a cunt but would blessedly sod off. 

The disgustingly fit nuisance just removes his headphones from around the cartilage of his ears and continues to linger just outside his door with crossed arms. Behind Madelyn’s trembling back you make a harried shoo-ing gesture. It’s meant to somehow relay that you had everything under control. 

You did not of course, but the last thing you could stand right now is Kyle fucking Garrick in the mix of this shit-show. No matter how angelic the bastard looked in the dim lighting of the hallway, he had an uncanny ability to piss on all of your emotional reserves. 

“Siggy!” Madelyn’s blubbering cuts off Kyle's next words. “I’m so, SO sorry!” She immediately descends into another fit of sobs against your cleavage. 

There’s a bit of an awkward lull when Kyle snorts out a laugh.“You think she can breathe in there?”

With closed eyes you lean your head back to look at the ceiling, shooting a ‘fuck you very much’ to the universe. 

You’d come home 20 minutes prior with murderous miasma cloaking you like a second skin. After being publicly dumped (without even the comfort of sweets to soothe the humiliation) you’d gone straight back to work just to deal with piles upon piles of paperwork. 

Your only reprieve was Hugo’s mother canceling her standing appointment with you. You’d still been forced to work with the old woman’s assistant and to your disdain, he was just as persnickety as his employer.

By the time you’d made it home on aching feet and a splitting headache your thoughts were filled with the desire to stuff yourself with a big fat American cheeseburger. Specifically one from the shady shop around the corner that you suspect may be a mafia front. They made damn good cheeseburgers though. 

Your mind had then of course wondered to the possibility of being caught up in a police raid and if ‘wanting to support local business’ be a good enough excuse to get you off the hook.

It’s how you missed the pint sized ambush lying in wait for you.

Madelyn had been planted outside your door in electric pink spandex and light up sneakers. She’d spotted you coming out of the lift and attached herself onto you before you could make a proper run for it.

Since then you’d been stuck holding her instead of the greasy end of a heart attack masquerading as a sandwich. Fat tears continue to wet the collar of the fleece outer coat you’d nabbed at a bargain sale.

“How long has she been like this?” Kyle asks with a raised brow.

Ignoring him, you do your best to wrestle Madelyn’s stiff form back enough to meet her eyes. 

The younger girl’s face is red and splotchy, snot and mascara darkened tears stain her usually fair skin. Her mousy brown hair could use a wash as well but you aren’t unkind enough to point it out. Even though she did shag your husband to be, it was clear the girl was torturing herself with guilt.

It is a bit unfair that the smudged makeup does nothing to detract from her beauty, much to your petty disdain. 

She’d make gorgeous babies with Hugo…

The thought makes you scowl. It was time to make a retreat.

“Madelyn, I’d really like to get into my flat. I don’t want to speak to you to be honest and I need you to let me go.”

More helpless wailing comes out of the younger woman.

“P-Please Siggy, I just need you to know I never meant for this to happen! Hugo and I tried to keep away from each other and I don't want you to hate me or the b-baby!” By the end she’s blubbering herself into hyperventilation. 

From the corner of your eyes you can make out the door of your neighbor adjacent to you crack open. Whipping your neck to get a look at the nosy pissant gets the older woman to slam the door closed with a fearful squeak. 

This had gone on too long.

Forcibly you use your hip and extra weight to maneuver the hysterical woman from your person. You hold her flailing arms to prevent her from launching herself back to your front. When she whines you’ve finally reached your breaking point.

“For fucks sake, you’re making a bloody scene!” You bark out, “I don’t care about Hugo!”

Madelyn flinches.

“But you care that we’re having a baby, right?”

It’s only when Madelyn lets out a whine of pain that you notice you’d been holding her thin wrists in a vice-like grip.

A forgotten Kyle chooses that moment to slink closer, his hands cup Madelyn’s shoulder carefully, despite your death glare.

“Maddy, darling, why don’t you let go for me.”

The brunette woman startles having finally noticed his presence in the vicinity. 

“Oh, Kyle! I didn’t know you were here!” It’s insulting how quickly she wriggles from your hold to catapult herself into Kyle’s waiting arms. 

With disgust you watch Kyle pat the shorter woman’s hair much like one would do a pet. Something about watching him with her makes your hackles rise farther.

“Why don’t you come in and calm down, hm? I’ll make you that tea you like and we can watch something.” Kyle makes a humming noise meant to soothe. It pisses you off but seems to work like a charm.

Madelyn’s sniffles subside dramatically and she rubs her hand across her button nose.

“Yes, that does sound lovely, but I need to talk to Siggy...”

You flinch as the two turn towards you once more. Kyle must see the cornered look in your eyes because he rubs his hands along Madelyn’s shoulders and whispers something in her ear. 

Madelyn nods and enters Kyle’s flat without any further hesitation.

It’s like the nearly thirty minutes of being held hostage outside your own home means nothing against his soft words.

God, you hate this man with every fiber of your being.

With a scowl you rummage through your bag for your house keys. Why did you have so many gum wrappers inside? You really need to clean your bag out. 

It’s not until you hear a throat clear that you realize Kyle still watches you from the threshold of his home.

“What?” Your tone makes a muscle in his cheek twitch. You hate to say it but it satisfies you to know at least you have some effect on him.

“Are you alright, love?” 

That causes you to abandon your search. You squint at his open expression and the genuine concern you see there. It’s unexpected and makes you a bit uncomfortable. How pathetic did you look that even your enemies pity you?

“I’m fine. Not like you actually care anyways.”

The last part was said in a mumble but Kyle’s sharp ears catch it. 

“Oy, what is that supposed to mean?” He steps closer to you crowding your space. 

Your senses are bombarded by the heady scent of the bergamot and cedar wood notes in his cologne. Coupled with the tangy smell of his natural musk, your brain does that thing where it shuts off and reboots itself.

“Siggy.” Kyle reaches out to touch your arm sending an electric current between you two that causes you to jolt back. He frowns, stepping closer, crowding you before you wield your bag in front of you like a shield and sword. 

“Garrick, I really, really don’t want to talk right now.” 

“Sig-”

“No, no, no! I don’t want to hear it! I’ve had a shite day and the cause of it is currently waiting for tea and cakes in your flat! I’m the one that deserves bloody tea and cakes for fucks sake!”

Enraged, you shove your hand through your bag and come in contact with the puff ball attached to your keys. 

You’re frantically unlocking your door and shoving inside your home, refusing to give the universe another moment to make a mess of your ruined day.

You look at Kyle as he stands in utter confusion and give him the dirtiest look in your arsenal. 

“Cheers, I hope you enjoy your sweets with Madelyn but you can piss right off, Kyle!” 

You slam the door with finality.

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[scotianostra]

January 23rd is National Pie day, what's your favourite pie?

Is it the traditional New Years day fare, of a muckle steak pie, or the humble Scotch Pie filled with mutton? It could also be a macaroni pie, possibly a favourite with the vegetarians Scots out there. Or maybe you have sought out the Breakfast pie that I posted about previously is made by Table 13 Express takeaway deli in Kirkintilloch. The Haggis and Steak Pie by Bells is also up there, although I preferred the haggis mash and beans pies we used to get from our local bakers growing up in my hometown of Loanhead.

Perhaps the most famous of our pies here in Scotland is the award winning Killie Pie made by Brownings Bakery in the town since 1945.

Just last week Scotlans best pie was announced at The World Championship Scotch Pie Awards, with a beloved Perth and Kinross butcher taking home the top prize at the ceremony. More than 50 bakeries and butchers from around Scotland were shortlisted in a range of categories, with their bakes assessed anonymously by a panel of experts and independent judges.

This year, the top World Champion prize was given to James Pirie & Son of Blairgowrie, who previously won the competition in 2018, 2020, and 2022, as well as taking the title of World Scotch Pie Champion of Champions in 2021 with their iconic Scotch Pie.

Elsewhere, fellow winners included James Aitken Butchers in Alloa, The Little Bakery in Dumfries, and Beefcake Cafe in Glasgow, who took home prizes in the Sausage Roll, Bridie, and Vegetarian Savoury categories respectively. Among the other categories were Steak Pie and Haggis Savoury, which were awarded to Brownings the Bakers Ltd in Kilmarnock and WeeCOOK in Carnoustie.

Here's a recipe for the Scotch Pie, although they will differ from source to source.

EQUIPMENT NEEDED TO MAKE THIS RECIPE

Four 4-inch springform cake pans (or equivalent)

Rolling pin

Small skillet

Knife to cut onion

Saucepan/s

Measuring cups, spoons

Kitchen scale (optional)

Mixing Bowls and spoons

Pastry Brush (for egg wash)

Stove and Oven (obviously)

INGREDIENTS

Hot Water Pastry Crust

2 cups flour (240 grams)

1/2 cup lard or shortening

1/2 cup water

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 egg yolk, beaten (for egg wash)

Meat Filling

1 small onion, chopped fine

1 – 2 teaspoons lard, butter, or shortening

1 pound lean ground beef

1 teaspoon kosher salt

1/2 teaspoon pepper

1/2 teaspoon mace

1/2 teaspoon nutmeg

1 teaspoon Italian spice (optional)

Quick Beef Gravy

1 14 oz. can low sodium chicken broth

2 cubes beef bouillon

1/4 cup cold water

2 tablespoons corn starch

2 tablespoons corn starch

DIRECTIONS

Preheat oven to 350° F or 177° C. Grease four 4 inch springform pans and set aside.

Put flour in a medium mixing bowl and create a well in the center.

Place water, salt, and lard in a saucepan and bring to a boil.

Carefully pour hot water and lard into well made in the flour. Mix with a spoon until all the flour is wet.

When the flour mixture is cool enough to handle. Knead just enough to mix completely. Set aside one fourth of the dough and divide the remaining dough into four balls.

2 tablespoons corn starch

DIRECTIONS

Preheat oven to 350° F or 177° C. Grease four 4 inch springform pans and set aside.

Put flour in a medium mixing bowl and create a well in the center.

Place water, salt, and lard in a saucepan and bring to a boil.

Carefully pour hot water and lard into well made in the flour. Mix with a spoon until all the flour is wet.

When the flour mixture is cool enough to handle. Knead just enough to mix completely. Set aside one fourth of the dough and divide the remaining dough into four balls.

Place all of the dough in the refrigerator while sautéing the onions and preparing the meat mixture.

Sauté the chopped onion in 1 to 2 teaspoons of lard, butter, or shortening, until soft.

Thoroughly mix ground beef, onion, and spices, including salt and pepper, in a bowl and set aside.

Remove dough from the refrigerator and roll each of the four big dough balls into round shapes big enough to cover the bottom and up the sides of the springform pans stopping about 1/4 inch or 6 mm from the top of the pan.

Roll out the large piece of dough, (the fourth you cut off from the whole dough mass in the beginning), into one large shape a little thinner than the bottom shells. Using one of the springform pans, cut four circles out of the rolled dough. These will be the lids (top crusts) of your pies. Lay them flat and cut a small hole in the center of each lid.

Add one fourth of the meat mixture to each pastry lined pan. Filling to about 1/4 inch or 6 mm from the top of the dough. Be sure to push it down into the corner round the bottom of the pan.

Cover the pie with the pastry lids and press the edges of the lid dough into the shell dough to seal. You may crimp with your fingers or press with a fork to make them pretty or just leave them plain. Just make sure the tops and sides are sealed together.

Brush each lid with the beaten egg yolk and place the pies in the oven for 35 to 40 minutes. You can stick a meat thermometer into the lid hole to ensure the meat is cooked through. It should be 160° F or 71° C.

While the pies are in the oven, make the quick gravy. Put the chicken broth in a saucepan along with two beef bouillon cubes and bring to a boil. Mix 2 tablespoons of corn starch into 1/4 cup cold water and stir until smooth. Slowly, add the corn starch mixture to the broth while stirring. Turn down the heat to a simmer and allow the gravy to thicken, stirring occasionally.

Remove the pies from the oven and allow to cool for 5 to 10 minutes before removing springforms. Serve with gravy, potatoes, and vegetables, top with beans, or, just eat them on the go.

NOTES

If you want to put a tablespoon of gravy inside each pie before baking them, just make the gravy before assembling the pies.

Scotch pies will last 3 days in the refrigerator and can be frozen after they have cooled for an hour. They will taste best if eaten within two to three months of freezing. Once you have thawed the pies, don’t refreeze them.

Recipe taken from https://travelinginmykitchen.com/2022/01/03/make-your-own-scotch-pies/

[sunshine-zenith]

“Why? I… clapped for you!”

(Follow up to this post about how Simon and the F&C kid’s conflict mirroring real world conflicts about creatives distancing themselves from still beloved works and new fans not understanding why because they weren’t there to see first hand why the creative would do so) This bit with Cake and the pillow person made me think of creative-fan conflicts

Immediately, it made me think of the Simon and Astrid’s conflict, but from her point of view— she’s being hurt by the person she looks up to and she doesn’t understand why. Shes a kid. She isn’t doing anything wrong by loving something, but she’s also hurting Simon by making her enjoyment his problem. She needs someone to pull her aside and tell her he’s lashing out in pain and she seriously needs to leave him alone, that he doesn’t own her anything. But she’s still being hurt by him back, and while Simon sees that (his call to Marcy where he tries to bring it up), he also seems oblivious to how he’s hurting her in the moment — like how Cake gleefully doesn’t think about how messed up it is to rip apart a walking pillow until the pillow speaks up

This could also parallel semi-unintentionally problematic works by oblivious (or not so oblivious) creators — Cake caused a lot if destruction with her song, but she only really got into the song when she was encouraged by others (other creatives specifically). She hurt the people in the stalls around her, even hurt the people who encouraged her in the first place, and finally literally tore apart her fan. It brings to mind (massive simplification here) a certain book series that had a lot of messed up stereotypes in its characters that still captures the minds and imaginations of many, before the author attacked a large portion of people that had fans part of it. Cake even tried to justify her hurting others by saying she was working on instinct and doesn’t apologize eve though she’s very much in the wring (to be fair to Cake, the author has doubled down on her shitty agenda, while Cake had no agenda at all)

Fionna and Cake is exploring existential themes, which I love, but it also seems to be exploring the various relationships between fan and creator, and how those relationships can turn toxic for a number of reasons, but how they’re often born from genuine love and joy (Prismo created F&C because he loved watching Finn and Jake but wanted something for himself, Astrid is trying to connect with Simon because she things he’s the same man as the person who sat down to write the books she loves, Cake made her song because it was fun, etc)

[bizzyboys]

okay actual intro post time until I have the energy to make a carrd

Endo systems and supporters leave!!! Bye bye!! I am anti-endo slash anti-any other type of system origin that isn’t trauma!!

Romantic f/os under the cut, doubles please don’t interact 💔

Okay let’s start

hi!! im Melody!! If our entire profile theme changes randomly one day it’s probably because someone else took over and wanted to make it more comfortable for them to post here. Also I am 17!! (FINALLYYY)

I try not to post too much info about our system online because of the dangers of it and also just because it’s our personal life and experiences, so all you get is we are a diagnosed DID system and have been working with our current therapist for…maybe like 1-2 years? Idk time is wonky for us. Also diagnosed C-PTSD

I have a hard time remembering things so I like to keep receipts of things sometimes!!

We are always tired. Like always. Our mental problems drain us constantly to where we mainly sleep most of the day away unless we’re doing school (we do online school because public school doesn’t work for us) or going out. We try to be awake during the day, but if we die for a good while or don’t respond to you immediately just assume we’re sleeping lmao

Uhhh what else. Pronouns change constantly!! Please don’t use she/her unless we say it’s okay. It/They/He is normally a safe bet!! Also no fem terms unless we also say it’s okay!! you can call us a girlboss though because we get the gender good from that

Romantic F/os include: William Afton (since 2015 babyyyy), Boris Habit, Inspekta, Capochin, P/Patty, Mystery Burns, Alastor, Marvus, Whimsy+Angel, and more but those are the ones I think of right off the bat

I am currently most attached to Capochin, but I still get uncomfortable with other people who have the same romantic f/os interacting :[

Some of our interests include: The Glass Scientists, Doll-Eye, FNAF, DSAF, Dialtown, HTTYD, COTL, HLVRAI, Minecraft, Roblox (sometimes), POKEMON!!!!, Digimon, doodling, creating things (like cosplay props for when we go to cons), vocaloid, music in general, Smile for Me (beloved comfort game), Great God Grove, psychological horror, ARGs, creepypastas, Marble Hornets, Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss, Madoka Magica, Sailor Moon, BATIM, Bee and Puppycat, Fiona and Cake, Homestuck, Hiveswap, Undertale, Deltarune, Hamsters/Proper hamster care, Hamtaro, Little Nightmares, and other things!! (Aka this list is getting too long and im tired and don’t want to keep adding to rn lmao)

Here’s some silly userboxes that we relate to!!

[spacevixenmusic]

Did you seen new Fionna and Cake trailer?

Heck yeah! It seems to me like they're tapping into the creative force behind Bee and Puppycat; I got a very similar vibe from the trailer. No surprise, given Fionna and Cake were originally created by Natasha Allegri.

I'm kinda surprised they went with the Real World Crosses Over Into Fantasy angle, but considering Fionna and Cake as WE knew them were based on Ice King's own fanfiction, it kinda puts a fun twist on our expectations. From what I could tell in the trailer, it looks kinda like Fionna will be spirited away from "the real world" via some Prismo multiverse shenanigans, and we know that Simon and Marcy will be involved (because of course they will, that's one of original Adventure Time's most beloved plot elements), and considering Fionna and Cake are an extension of Ice King's imagination, maybe they'll write it so that his stories were always based on a grain of personal experience, but he just can't remember cause his brain is all fried. Something like that!

I will repeat however, I'm STERNLY DISAPPOINTED in the lack of the best F&C character so far!

(I'm also curious how different the characters will be portrayed than the versions of them I've written in my own fanfics, lmao)

[brenna]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. spread the self-love ❤

ah, bird dog, my beloved! (I just came up with that on the spot, so if you hate it, um, tough? jkjk) sorry I took so long to answer this. I thought pulling the links would be easier on desktop, but then my cat static shocked my ancient computer to death, so I put off doing it. any case, I am actually quite stoked to get this ask so, let's go:

Assigned Lovers on Earth: E. good omens. m/m, a/c, 32,868 words, 7/7 chapters. this one is special to me because it's the first fic I wrote in six years. I had this idea and had to write it: what if, after the body swap, heaven and hell try to assign them new love interests to keep them apart?

Burns Hot Enough to Last: E. good omens. m/m, a/c. human au. 3,675 words, 1/1 chapters. I really loved writing this one shot where they met once, years ago, on a dance floor. since then, they often think of the one who got away. until another dance floor and another meeting.

Collaborative Activities: E. good omens. m/m, a/c. human au. 12,776 words, 1/1 chapters. this was one of my favorite ones to write ever. co-workers au, spooky, sex pollen, x-files references, funny moments. this is my pride and joy, right here. and *slaps roof* this baby can hold so much smut.

Stairway to the Booth: E. good omens. f/f, a/c. human au. 20,767 words, 4/4 chapters. I loved putting my cinema knowledge to work in this one and writing them as ladies. crowley owns a movie theatre that plays old films, and aziraphale cosplays as a character from one of them. they meet, and it's basically love at first sight.

Before 9: E. MSR, 1,888 words, 1/1 chapters. I had to go back and get at least one from the x-files fandom, even though they're all a minimum of six years old (this one coming up on nine years?!?! how?). before 9 is close to my heart because I wrote it with a friend of mine, and we had so much fun doing it. sexy cake baking, anyone?

[feppepurin]

FIONNA N CAKE RANT spoilers ensue

can i just say how wonderful this was . im dying im dead im flying out the window . enemies and lovers bubbline ¿¿¿ sign me the fuck up . marcy was so beautiful in vampireworld . every 1 of her outfits was magnificent and . i just love her ¿¿¿ evil bisexual goth w a pretty laugh what more could you EVER want . shes literally a princess im all for it . also i agree w cake the vampire king is kinda hot . BONNIE THOUGH ⁉️⁉️ W A BADASS HAIRCUT and huntress wizard and martin oh my god . MARTIN WHY DID THEY HAVE TO KILL MARTIN OFF god fucking damnit 😭😭😭 this wlw mlm different universes parallels had me at the edge of my seat the falling scene and gumlee running away ............. amazing . god i love it . gumlee have known each other for 3 days if im not mistaken and yea maybe the development was a little fast but holy shit im not complaining ¡ who am i to forbid them from kissing in the elevator after running away from marshalls evil mom

fionna and cake tho ¿ the way their friendship persists even thru all these horrors theyve witnessed makes me warm inside. they are so besties forever and truly no amount of fionna messing up and cake getting arrogant will ever change that ♡♡♡ i was so worried for fionna this time tho =<:((( this poor girl. all her dreams abt adventures and heroism are being crushed before her very eyes. when she ran out of the lab crying my stomach turned she was so relatable for that. i really hope she gains some confidence in herself fionna deserves the world <333 THE PETRIGROF JUICE OH MY LORD. THEY MET AT A NERDY CONFERENCE AND SHE AGREED TO GO ON AN EXPEDITION W/ SIMON AND SHE DIDNT EVEN KNOW HIM. SHE DROPPED EVERYTHING JUST TO HANG OJT W/ THIS MAN. THE LETTER. THE I WANT YOU TO BE BY MY SIDE. THE FIREFLIES. THE SONG. THE NOSTALGIA THE WAY SIMONS FACE LIGHTS UP WHEM SHES TALKING ABT BETTY. imma die

orbo being voiced by dave mccormack is the best thing ever id recognize that voice ANYWHERE 😭😭 also this was a delight seeing scarab again hes so silly. ive seen ship art of them and prismo on tiktok and their shipname is prohibited wish <333 idk bout you guys but im so on it prismo x scarab for the win ¡¡¡ also when orbo was talking abt 'THE boss' who did he mean. god ¿ like The God who made the whole place ¿ anyway i really want to see them. we probably wont get this chance tho but still

was so good to see bmo <333 this lil puter will always live in my heart. thank you for your sacrifice little 1 ♡ i get so sad thinking abt how they were living all alone in this desolate place w/ only jerry to talk to. and we dont even know if jerry ever spoke to him ¡ goddamit i hope every version of bmo goes someplace sunny and calm

lich was so fucking creepy ¿¿¿ jesus fuck i felt genuine fear when he spoke. 'cease.' WHOSE FUCKING SCARY DOG IS THAT. goddamn hes just as scary as he was before.....ALSP BETTY. BETTY BETTY GROF MOMENT. AT THE VERY END. she wished to keep simon safe. AND ITS WORKING. WHAT THE FUUUUCK IM SO HYPED THIS WAS SUCH A RIDE

[lostmaryofficialsite]

Banana Cake: Movement Next 30K

Banana cake has emerged as a beloved dessert, combining the moist, sweet flavor of ripe bananas with a fluffy, light texture. With the growing popularity of this delightful treat, it's time to explore its journey, from traditional recipes to innovative variations, and how it’s poised to inspire a new movement in baking—the "Next 30K."

The Allure of Banana Cake

Banana cake vape is not just a delicious dessert; it’s a nostalgic treat for many. Originating from the need to use overripe bananas, it has evolved into a staple in home baking. The cake is characterized by its tender crumb and the natural sweetness that bananas provide, often enhanced with spices like cinnamon or nutmeg. Whether topped with a rich cream cheese frosting or enjoyed plain, banana cake satisfies both taste buds and comfort cravings.

The Next 30K Movement

The "Next 30K" movement refers to the culinary trend that aims to inspire home bakers and food enthusiasts to experiment with new ingredients, techniques, and flavors. As health consciousness rises, so does the desire for creative alternatives in baking. Banana cake fits perfectly into this framework, offering a platform for innovation. Here’s how it can lead the way:

1. Healthier Alternatives

As consumers seek healthier options, banana cake can easily adapt. Substituting refined sugar with natural sweeteners like honey, maple syrup, or even date puree can maintain sweetness while reducing processed ingredients. Additionally, using whole wheat or almond flour instead of all-purpose flour boosts the nutritional profile without sacrificing flavor.

2. Vegan and Gluten-Free Options

The versatility of banana cake allows for various dietary adaptations. Vegan versions can replace eggs with flaxseed meal or applesauce, while gluten-free adaptations can use almond or coconut flour. These adjustments make banana cake accessible to a wider audience, aligning with the movement's goal of inclusivity in food.

3. Flavor Fusion

The Next 30K movement encourages experimentation with flavors. Beyond the classic recipe, bakers can infuse banana cake with unexpected ingredients. Think chocolate chips, peanut butter swirls, or tropical add-ins like coconut and pineapple. Such combinations not only elevate the flavor profile but also inspire creativity in the kitchen.

4. Sustainable Baking

With an increased focus on sustainability, banana cake is a fantastic candidate for using up food scraps. Overripe bananas that would otherwise be discarded find new life in this delightful dessert. Moreover, bakers can experiment with locally sourced ingredients, supporting local farmers and reducing their carbon footprint.

Recipes to Inspire

Classic Banana Cake

Ingredients:

3 ripe bananas

1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened

1 cup sugar (or alternative)

2 eggs (or flaxseed meal)

1 1/2 cups flour (or alternative)

1 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp salt

1 tsp vanilla extract

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 350°F (175°C).

Mash the bananas in a bowl. In another bowl, cream together butter and sugar, then add eggs and vanilla.

Mix the dry ingredients and gradually combine with the wet mixture. Fold in mashed bananas.

Pour into a greased cake pan and bake for 30-35 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.

Vegan Chocolate Banana Cake

Ingredients:

3 ripe bananas

1/3 cup coconut oil, melted

1 cup coconut sugar

1/4 cup almond milk

1 tsp vanilla extract

1 cup gluten-free flour

1/2 cup cocoa powder

1 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp salt

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 350°F (175°C).

In a large bowl, mash the bananas. Add melted coconut oil, sugar, almond milk, and vanilla, mixing well.

In another bowl, whisk together flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt. Combine both mixtures.

Pour into a greased pan and bake for 25-30 minutes.

Conclusion

Banana cake vape is more than just a delightful dessert; it represents a movement towards innovative, inclusive, and sustainable baking practices. As we embrace the Next 30K movement, let’s celebrate the humble banana cake and the endless possibilities it brings to our kitchens. Whether you’re a seasoned baker or a curious novice, there’s always room to explore, experiment, and enjoy the deliciousness of banana cake!

[pateltimil94]

What is the difference between a Victoria sandwich and sponge cake?

In the realm of baking, the terms "Victoria sandwich" and "sponge cake" are often used interchangeably, leading to confusion among aspiring bakers. However, despite their similar appearance and basic ingredients, these two desserts possess distinct characteristics that set them apart. In this informative guide, we delve into the nuances of each, exploring their differences and providing a classic Victoria sandwich recipe for those eager to embark on a culinary adventure.

Unveiling the Victoria Sandwich

The Victoria sandwich, also known as the Victoria sponge, is a beloved British classic that pays homage to Queen Victoria, who purportedly enjoyed a slice with her afternoon tea. This iconic cake consists of two layers of light and airy sponge cake sandwiched together with a layer of jam and a dusting of powdered sugar on top.

Key Characteristics

The defining feature of a Victoria sandwich is its simplicity. Traditionally, it is made with equal parts butter, sugar, flour, and eggs, resulting in a delicate crumb and subtle sweetness. The addition of jam adds a burst of flavor and moisture, making it a delightful treat for any occasion.

Classic Victoria Sandwich Recipe

To experience the quintessential taste of a Victoria sandwich, follow this timeless recipe that captures the essence of this beloved dessert.

Ingredients:

200g unsalted butter, softened

200g caster sugar

4 medium eggs

200g self-raising flour

1 tsp baking powder

Strawberry jam

Powdered sugar, for dusting

Instructions:

Preheat your oven to 180°C (350°F) and grease two 20cm round cake tins.

In a large mixing bowl, cream together the softened butter and caster sugar until pale and fluffy.

Beat in the eggs, one at a time, ensuring each is fully incorporated before adding the next.

Sift the self-raising flour and baking powder into the bowl, then gently fold into the mixture until just combined.

Divide the batter evenly between the prepared cake tins and smooth the surface with a spatula.

Bake in the preheated oven for 20-25 minutes, or until golden brown and springy to the touch.

Remove the cakes from the oven and allow them to cool in the tins for 5 minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.

Once cooled, spread a generous layer of strawberry jam onto one cake layer.

Place the second cake layer on top of the jam and gently press down to secure.

Dust the top of the cake with powdered sugar for a finishing touch.

Slice and serve your Victoria sandwich with a pot of tea for a truly British indulgence!

Deciphering the Sponge Cake

While the Victoria sandwich is a type of sponge cake, not all sponge cakes are created equal. Sponge cake is a broad category of cakes characterized by their light and airy texture, achieved through the incorporation of whipped eggs or egg whites into the batter.

Variations and Adaptations

Unlike the traditional Victoria sandwich, sponge cakes can vary widely in flavor, texture, and presentation. From classic genoise sponge to chiffon cake and angel food cake, the world of sponge cakes is vast and diverse, offering endless possibilities for experimentation and creativity.

Basic Components

At its core, a sponge cake typically consists of eggs, sugar, flour, and sometimes a leavening agent such as baking powder or cream of tartar. The key to a successful sponge cake lies in properly whipping the eggs to incorporate air into the batter, resulting in a light and fluffy crumb.

FAQs

What sets a Victoria sandwich apart from a regular sponge cake? While both desserts are classified as sponge cakes, the Victoria sandwich is specifically defined by its sandwiched layers of sponge cake filled with jam. This distinguishes it from other variations of sponge cake, which may be served plain or with alternative fillings.

Can I use any type of jam for a Victoria sandwich? While strawberry jam is the traditional choice for a Victoria sandwich, you can experiment with different flavors such as raspberry, apricot, or lemon curd to customize the cake to your taste preferences.

Is it necessary to dust the Victoria sandwich with powdered sugar? While dusting the cake with powdered sugar adds a decorative touch, it is not essential to the taste or texture of the dessert. Feel free to omit this step if desired or substitute with a drizzle of icing for added sweetness.

Conclusion

In conclusion, while the terms "Victoria sandwich" and "sponge cake" are often used interchangeably, they each represent distinct variations within the world of baking. The Victoria sandwich, with its jam-filled layers and dusting of powdered sugar, epitomizes the simplicity and elegance of British baking, while sponge cake encompasses a broader category of light and airy desserts. By understanding the differences between these two delicacies and following a classic Victoria sandwich recipe, you can embark on a culinary journey that celebrates the rich tradition of homemade desserts.

[halftheguilt]

Chocolate Mug Cake Recipe - Delicious & Guilt-Free

Indulge in the heavenly aroma of freshly baked chocolate cake with our Chocolate Mug Cake recipe! This single-serving delight is a lifesaver for those moments when a sweet craving strikes but you're short on time. Whether you're a novice or a seasoned baker, this recipe is foolproof and delivers a moist, chocolatey cake that will leave you wanting more. Plus, it's portion-controlled, so you can satisfy your sweet tooth without overindulging. Imagine the aroma of warm, freshly baked chocolate cake filling your kitchen in just a matter of minutes. Our Chocolate Mug Cake recipe makes that dream a reality, offering a delightful escape from the daily hustle and bustle. It's not just a dessert; it's a moment of pure indulgence that you can savor whenever the mood strikes. Whether you're treating yourself after a long day or surprising a loved one with an impromptu sweet gesture, this recipe is your secret weapon for instant, homemade happiness.

Cultural Background and Significance

The concept of the mug cake has become a global sensation, offering a quick and convenient way to enjoy the pleasures of homemade cake without the fuss of traditional baking. It's a testament to our fast-paced modern lifestyle, providing a sweet escape in mere minutes. The chocolate mug cake, in particular, has universal appeal as chocolate is beloved by people of all ages and backgrounds.

Health Benefits of Chocolate Mug Cake

While indulging in sweets is often seen as a guilty pleasure, this Chocolate Mug Cake offers some surprising health benefits. Dark cocoa powder provides antioxidants that can boost heart health and improve mood. Additionally, the controlled portion size helps prevent overindulgence, making it a smart choice for those watching their calorie intake.

Tips for a Perfect Cook

- Use a Microwave-Safe Mug Ensure your mug is microwave-safe to prevent any mishaps. - Don't Overcook Microwaves vary, so keep an eye on your cake to avoid overcooking. It should be firm but not dry. - Customize Your Toppings Experiment with toppings like whipped cream, nuts, or berries for a personalized touch. - Adjust Sweetness Adjust the sugar to your preference for a sweeter or less sweet cake. - Enjoy Fresh Mug cakes are best enjoyed immediately for that fresh-baked taste.

Variations and Modifications

- Gluten-Free Option Use gluten-free flour for a gluten-free version. - Vegan Variation Substitute milk with almond milk and use a plant-based oil to make it vegan. - Nutty Delight Add chopped nuts or peanut butter for extra flavor and texture. - Mocha Twist Mix in a teaspoon of instant coffee for a mocha-flavored cake. - White Chocolate Swap cocoa powder for white chocolate chips for a unique twist.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

- Overmixing Avoid overmixing the batter, or the cake can become tough. - Wrong Mug Size Choose an appropriately sized mug to prevent overflow. - Skipping the Resting Time Letting the cake rest for a minute is essential for the best texture. - Neglecting Toppings Toppings can elevate your mug cake, so don't skip this step. - Neglecting Variations Experimenting with different flavors is part of the fun, so don't hesitate to get creative.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can I use whole wheat flour instead of all-purpose flour?Yes, but it may result in a denser cake.How can I make it sugar-free?Substitute with a sugar-free sweetener like Stevia.Can I bake this in the oven?Yes, but it won't be as quick. Bake at 350°F (175°C) for about 15-20 minutes.What can I use instead of milk?You can use almond milk, soy milk, or any milk substitute.How do I prevent the cake from becoming dry?Be cautious with the cooking time; overcooking can make it dry.Can I make this ahead of time?It's best enjoyed fresh but can be reheated in the microwave.What's the ideal consistency for the batter?It should be smooth and not too thick or too runny.Can I add chocolate chips to the batter?Absolutely! Chocolate chips can add extra richness.Can I double the recipe for two servings?Yes, just double the ingredients and adjust the cooking time.Is this safe for kids to make on their own?With adult supervision, kids can enjoy making this easy recipe.

Conclusion

Indulge in the pure bliss of our Chocolate Mug Cake, a quick and delightful treat that satisfies your sweet cravings without the guilt. With minimal effort and a burst of chocolaty flavor, this microwaveable marvel is a must-try. So, why wait? Try this recipe today and follow @HalfTheGuilt101 on social media for more guilt-free delights. Enjoy! In a world that's constantly on the move, we all need a little sweetness to brighten our days. Our Chocolate Mug Cake isn't just a recipe; it's a pathway to moments of joy and comfort. So, don't hesitate—whip up this heavenly treat and experience the magic of a perfectly portioned, warm chocolate indulgence. Follow @HalfTheGuilt101 for more mouthwatering recipes and join our community of guilt-free indulgence seekers. Life's too short to deny yourself the simple pleasures, and with this recipe, you can have your cake and eat it too, without the guilt. Enjoy every bite! 🍰🍫 Read the full article