#ezra reads
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i love when old books say lighted instead of lit.
and other older versions of words that changed over time or dropped out of use.
archaic phrases too, and the way the dialogue is so different from how people speak now.
it is so cool and so interesting and satisfying to me!
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my year of rest and relaxtion by ottessa moshfegh. set in 2000 and 2001, the narrator recounts a year where that she attempts to sleep through with the use of drugs, and tells us about her parents, her on/off boyfriend, and her harmful friendship. though its her most renowned novel i honestly found it to be the weakest of the 3 of hers i've read so far. i mean it was Fine, it wasnt a horrible book, but i kept expecting Something to happen and nothing did. i dont think its nearly as disturbing as people make it out to be, and i understood the experience of depression the narrator goes through, but it was just very unsatisfying. definitely liked lapvona and eileen much more
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nearing the end of my Imajica reread & it's been hitting me hard with the patented Clive one-two punch of big feelings (actually crying about Taylor & Clem this time, always crying about Pie) & deep criticism/embarrassment (literally what the fuck is going on with the racism, also Judith's whole plotline is a gross slog honestly)
i am constantly astonished at how one author can be SO good and SO bad at the same time! i do think Imajica is all around his best effort (whereas Cabal has a great premise & poor execution) but good lord there's so much to unpack here. file under "books that are super important to me but that i won't recommend unless we're close & i know you can filter-feed the good shit"
have to figure out what i'm doing next...my TBR pile right now includes Baru Cormorant, All Systems Red (which would probably take me one evening), The Books of Jacob (the opposite of that, it's HUGE), The Alchemists' Council (which i managed to find a copy of in a thrift store within months of Masson DMing me about citing my zine in a paper she's writing?? so obviously the universe needs me to read it), Sacha's new one The Forbidden Book (!!!)...
life is short BOOKS ARE LONG (that's why i read so fast)
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When space whale design so good you can't just steal it to your own cosmoopera story so you have to draw your first fanart in years and revive your tumblr art blog to post it
[other version and image description under the cut!]
Ezra version ♡
[ID: A horizontal artwork showing Exra Bridger from season 2 of Star Wars: Rebels and the group of space whales, Purgil. The purgil are floating in space and one of them, closest to the viewing point, is positioned so that its eye coincides with one of Ezra's eyes. Their eyes are shining teal blue. Ezra is depicted in a somewhat abstract way, he stands waist high and the space behind him, but behind the whales.
In the second version of the image, Ezra is in the foreground, while the Purgil is only in the background. He is standing and holding his lightsaber, looking somewhat lost in thought. ]
#star wars rebels#ezra bridger#sw rebels#swr#star wars#star wars rebels fanart#purrgil#this was drawn riiight after I watched The Call#I know it's about to get painfull very soon I know it#im mostly ready (but probably won't watch season 4 TOO painful 😭 I read spoilers to avoid some my triggers)#It all started when my partner told me I would probably like andor#I was so sad after it I desided to watch this 'kid show' to kinda soften it out#OH BOY#I MISCALCULATED SEVERELY#found family trope in space?#space whales?#literally a nate trap#now I've drawn ezra cause I love him#and whales cause WHALES#my art
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"We walk into the light, acknowledge the dark, and find balance in ourselves, because the Force is strong." [Star Wars: The High Republic 2024, #8] Anyway, I'm starting a collection to show that this is also what the prequels Jedi and the High Republic Jedi taught and practiced. That the dark side was in all of them, that it was a lifelong struggle to overcome it within themselves, and find balance in the light within themselves.
And, of course, The Clone Wars episode "The Gathering" is structured around the central test of sending the younglings to Ilum to get their first kyber crystal--which involves them having to face fears that are unique to them. That's the whole point, to overcome the dark side that's inside all of them, to free themselves of that prison. This is reflected in every Jedi's path--from the Jedi younglings of the prequels to Ezra in the Jedi Temple on Lothal to Luke in the dark side cave on Dagobah to Rey in the dark side cave on Ahch-To--that to move forward on their path, they must confront the darkness within themselves, the Jedi knew this and built their culture around it, their Temples around it, and never forgot it. No one was beyond it, not even Master Yoda, no matter how much they all admired and respected him, even they knew that Yoda was not beyond the reach of the dark side.
It was not a one-time thing. It was not a faucet they could turn off. It was a lifelong struggle to overcome it. It was the destiny of a Jedi to confront this fear within themselves. To acknowledge the dark and walk into the light to find balance.
#lumi.txt#star wars#the high republic#obi wan kenobi#anakin skywalker#yoda#luminara unduli#barriss offee#qui gon jinn#cal kestis#cere junda#ezra bridger#ki adi mundi#jedi order#meta#reading comics: the high republic 2024#long post
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The Normal Tarot's Third Edition is available for Pre-Order still. Witness it here in all its glory. The 3 Omens, the 4 Maidens, the 5 Dreams, the 6 Books, the 7 Dead Kings, the 8 Moons.
Then, the Seasons.
Winter in its frost, each suit capped by three Knights and a Maiden, Queen, Mother. And you can claim it for your long winter.
Spring in its new life, alight with life. Its fruits bore for you to hold and claim.
Summer in its brilliant radiance, burning and throbbing with passion and desire. Hungry for life, adventure, connection.
Autumn in its resplendent winding down, rest, and warmth. Gather round the fire, draw a card.
The third printing is heading to the printers soon. If you wish to have a copy for yourself of Ezra Kimbell's incredible version of the Caretaker's Normal Tarot, this is your time. Take a copy for yourself, and pre-order to receive the decks yet this year.
And while you're there, consider taking a copy of the original edition in black and white, or the second edition in black and gold or silver.
#tarot#kickstarter#oracle#tarot reading#publishing goblin#tarot deck#normal tarot#normal horoscopes#cryptotheism#ezra kimbell
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#mini Ezra doodle dump cause I love my baby boy#star wars#star wars rebels#ezra bridger#star wars fandom#star wars fanart#bossk#Milo graff#I’m trying to read every book with ezra in ever#hence the baby doodle#shout out to the two sentences with him in 🙏#also chat what happened to my colours lol
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If tiktok has booktok, YouTube has booktube and Tumblr has bookblr, does facebook have bookbook
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I'm coming back again with my skybridger bullshittt because they are slowly consuming me.
Again, part of the au where Luke is roped into the rebellion early (by Ezra's doing ofc).
#star wars#star wars fanart#star wars fandom#ezra bridger#luke skywalker#star wars art#skybridger#star wars rebels#sw rebels#let them interact please!!#can be read as platonic or romantic
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Regarding tl4j romances: Ezra doesn't need to smooch anyone! He can embrace the crazy Tooka lad life and just start hoarding them (and other creatures, probably. It becomes a problem!)
you know what? i think i've got the perfect solution:
(commission info // kofi support!)
#(plz click the picture asks or their alts to actually read them loll)#jai kell#ezra bridger#star wars rebels#my doods#thanks for the ask!#ahsoka show
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blood on your name
Cowboy!Ezra x F!Reader
summary: Texas 1885 - the town’s ranching competition brings in new souls out from the desert, one unfortunately happens to be a ghost haunting you & he’s still as handsome and dangerous as ever
warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY. MDNI, old Wild West AU, slight enemies to lovers, very morally!gray Ezra, fingering, oral (f receiving), pussy pronouns, one moment of spit kink, allusions to p in v, scoundrel but soft!Ezra, themes of violence & reader enacting violence on another, use of guns, blood & injury, morally!gray reader, time period views of marriage & shaming women (brief use of derogatory terms against reader), minor character deaths, light gender language usage, use of nicknames
word count: 7.2k
a/n: here’s to finally putting my 7th grade tx history lessons to some use plus I’ve been really missing west texas so here we are lol! Fun history fact - Pecos prides itself as the birth place of the rodeo so this competition is the inception of that! It took me a while to get here & this truly wouldn’t be here without @gasolinerainbowpuddles @julesonrecord & @perotovar i can’t thank you babes enough, and to you, if you decide to read this too, thank you so much ♡
The newcomers that blew into town stand around the edge of the fence.
Pecos had become famous for hosting this rope wrangling event, and you’re not surprised it’s brought others in to observe the spectacle. Just last week it seemed like more wagons wandered into the edge of town.
You’ve been living here among the desert’s harsh eyes with your aunt for a few years now. When your mother unleashed her wrath after she found you with an unmarried man who had drifted into town, you fled with the caravan heading out west. So far west it brought you to the Pecos River. You’re thankful your aunt welcomed you with open arms. The desert proved to be a harsh host. But you’ve managed.
The actual event in town wasn’t taking place until the end of the week. Except so many already want to see the cowboys proudly warming up, showing off.
It’s why you even stop on your way home from the tailor shop.
Duke Williams currently tries his hand at practicing. The handsome young star all the way from Austin shows promise while he maneuvers his threadbare rope with ease.
He lands a solid catch against one of the practice sheep running around, and the crowd claps already impressed.
His bright face, angelic almost, brightens when he smiles triumphantly. When he spots you among the on looks, he beams even wider. You smile back politely.
However, Martha, the mayor’s youngest daughter, nudges you.
“I don’t know why you haven’t let that man swoop you up yet?” She giggles with a slight tease however, her words sting.
Duke’s been pursuing you ever since he came into town last spring. He reminds you of a newly built chapel, lovely coated in pristine and full of holy hope.
Yet, you don’t care for him.
You understand you should be married by now. Especially at your age, you’re becoming a dusting antique on the shelf by the town’s whispers. You even understood your mothers anger after discovering the man she caught you with had simply scurried away without another word.
Everyone in town seems to see Duke almost as your god blessed savior on a white horse sent to rescue you from a desolate destitution.
But you don’t hold any sense of attraction towards Duke. Even as you watch how handsome and sturdy he looks, a fierce cowboy among the other competitors, you simply admire his skills. And that’s it.
You wonder if you’re simply destined to the life of a happily secluded cactus like creature.
Something tickles against your skin, a sensation of being hyper aware of being caught in another’s gaze. Living in the desert has brought you a heightened awareness to make sure no critters lurking among can strike you.
So your eyes flicker around and find the crowd still enthralled by the sight of the cowboys.
Until you find one man isn’t.
One of the newcomers.
Sun kissed skin, an absolutely striking hawkish nose, sparse facial hair and then, the deepest dark earth eyes you’ve ever seen stare straight at you. The dusty black cowboy hat he wears casts a strange shadow across his features, cloaking him almost sinister.
Your breath hitches fast like it’s stolen from you.
You know this stranger.
One of the other newcomers nudges against him drawing his attention away from you. But your face stays stuck on him.
The men discuss with each other low and close, clustered together like a pack of desert weeds sprouting fast.
Except after the mystery outsider relays something back to the group, his eyes flicker back to you.
There’s a simmered wildness to him.
The commotion of spurs clinking comes and so many giggle around you, drawing your attention away.
Duke moves towards you with a shining grin on his face.
A desire to scurry away tugs at you. So with a polite smile, you silently duck away and decide to head home.
“Hey! Why ya leaving so soon?” He calls out. “Did you see me?”
His voice is so bright but also, so slightly arrogant, as if he can maybe keep you from leaving.
“Yes, you were incredible.” You’re truthful in your words.
Thankfully the others all around begin greedily vying for his attention.
As you turn to head home, that strange itch crawls over you again. Someone’s watching you.
So glancing around you think it must be Duke, but his attention is preoccupied.
However, it’s the handsome black cowboy hat stranger who again blatantly stares so direct at you.
A moment passes of you simply staring back at him.
However you break the contact first, needing to head home. But the entire way you sense his eyes blazing a hole on your back.
By the time you hit the edge of town towards your aunt’s cabin, the day creeps into early evening.
Above, vultures circle around high. However… there isn’t any sign of decay nearby.
- ☾𖤓 -
Your walk towards the tailor shop passes by the large stretch of land where the cowboys practice. Duke cries out your name excited. Politely you turn to greet him good morning only to find he’s not alone.
Other cowboys of course have come to wrestle in their skills. One of them surprises you.
The man you saw a few days ago is here.
His deep midnight eyes flicker to you immediately. That handsome face of his stays entirely composed.
Duke rattles on about his day. Yet you pay no attention as the new cowboy has stolen all your focus. The black cowboy hat he wears is dusty, weathered, and for some reason, you feel as if it both does and doesn’t suit him.
Duke chirps out your name again. Apologizing, you blame your dazed attention on lack of sleep.
Your night has been restless
“Hope ol’ lady Julie isn’t working y’too hard at the tailor shop.” He grins boyish and charming.
“Oh, Duke.” A smooth twang of a voice floats out. Waltzing in besides the cowboy, the newcomer arrives.
“You didn’t tell me your bird was so lovely.” His voice is curled with a smile and his voice, a deep drawl, draws an acidic venom in your mouth.
“I’m not his bird.” You politely reply.
“Not yet.” Duke adds warm, shy. But that only causes your stomach to squirm even more.
“Name’s Ezra, dear honeysuckle.” The newcomer introduces himself with a tip of his hat.
You nod back quietly giving him your name.
“Ezra came for the competition, traveled all this way just to try his hand at it!” Duke, ever the competitor, explains excited for the new competition.
Your eyes unfortunately stay on the newcomer rider.
Compared to Duke, Ezra’s frame is lithe. Then again, Duke with his incredibly tall stature is built like a terrifying boulder. Ezra’s broad shoulders and his striking sleek build makes you think of a river, fluid yet quietly powerful.
As unfortunately handsome as he is, his frame does not seem like a cowboy’s build.
Instead he reminds you of the traveling con man you once knew.
Duke continues rattling on and on about how proud he is to show off the town and this event.
You however hate the way Ezra’s eyes still on you make your skin tighten.
Excusing yourself with a soft nod, wishing them both well, you return on your way to the seamstress. Your body burns the entire way.
The day goes by slowly at the shop. After working on a few ruined blouses, Julie, the elderly shop owner, keeps you busy with tidying up. When the sun starts setting, the door clings open, and you wonder who’s coming in so late.
Ezra saunters in, and your throat tightens.
“Welcome in, newcomer!” Julie greets with a grandmotherly grace. “What can we do for you, good sir?”
Ezra smiles with all the charm of a gilded cactus.
“Seems I am in need of a new stitch for these gloves of mine.” Ezra explains pulling out worn gloves.
Leather frayed along the straps speak of the weathered and worn attention they’ve been given. But they seem too big for his hands. You even swear you’ve seen them before on his old business partner. But you don’t want to think too much on it.
Good dear sweet Julie chatters with the man. You simply stay quiet, not even turning to greet or address him.
You don’t even work on his gloves, deciding to let Julie handle them.
You even hide out in the back room, not even listening to when Ezra leaves.
Julie ends up heading home, and you’re left to close up. The sun sets a dusty fading apricot against the shadow of the tailor shop.
As you pass by the alleyway, suddenly you’re handed into the dark shadows. You’re about to scream, maybe even yelp, until a hand goes flying across your face, silencing you.
“Now now, pidge, don’t need you making too much of a holler.” Ezra.
Anger seethes in you, boiling. Violently and with a harsh yank, you tear yourself away from his grasp. You’re almost tempted to storm away.
“Didn’t think I’d ever be graced by your beauty again. That mother of yours still got that shotgun she threatened me with?” He smoothly asks with the amount of dangerous charm a rattlesnake would carry.
“What? This your last attempt at selling that watered down snake oil you call elixirs and tonics?” You snap back razor sharp.
When you first met Ezra, which now feels like lifetimes ago, he was a smooth talking traveling salesman. A drifter, as your mother so harshly called him.
Instead of the cowboy hat he wears now, he looked more stately in his bowler type cap.
He charmed so many of the women in town, trying to sell them the secrets to youth, vitality, beauty, and anything else he could promise in his elixir vials. You however, were not interested, saw right through his ruse.
Though, you realize now you were just as foolish as the others in town rapidly buying his lies. Because you had been just as charmed and fooled as they were.
This man, who’s sharp wit intrigued you, who spoke to you as an equal, became so dangerous because you were willing to give him everything.
Your heart, your body - all of you should have been reserved for your husband. Instead you freely gave everything to this thief.
The swindler swore he would take you with him, make you his wife. But when your mother’s fury came, he fled like a petrified jackrabbit.
You suppose he is more coyote than jackrabbit, greedily stealing anything he can then sneakily moving on.
Ezra’s composed grin on his face flickers, like all the history resting between you and him resurfaces within him.
“Didn’t you hear, pidgeon? My elixirs were plundered. Even my poor partner, god rest his dear soul, was shot down in cold blood!” Ezra explains with sorrow.
You had heard about that. At the edge of town, on the dirt road leading out into the hills, one of the sheriff’s found the large carriage and Ezra’s associate dead. The carriage crashed, run off the road. The damage screamed of the work of bandits. However, Ezra was nowhere to be found.
“I’m just supposed to believe you miraculously made it out of there alive?” You narrow your eyes suspiciously.
You don’t want to say it, but your instincts twist dangerously in your stomach. You wonder if Ezra did the deed himself, killed his partner and took the valuables.
Ezra shrugs sheepishly.
“That’s the way the desert works, honeysuckle. It’s a harsh landscape that only protects those who can survive its wrath.”
You forgot how much he spoke like a preacher sometimes, so elevated and otherworldly. You hate how badly your heart races just being this close to him again, hearing his voice again.
“So you’re telling me you came all the way here just to try your hand at the competition? Never even seen you ride, much less thrown a rope. Can’t imagine a con-man like you being a cowboy.” You reply skeptical.
He barks a laugh. “You'd be surprised. I’m a man composed of many unrevealed talents.”
You knew that very well.
Cautiously, treading like he’s approaching a mountain lion, Ezra steps closer to you. Out of instinct you step backwards closer to the other shop beside the tailors.
“Now don’t tell me you’re pondering the idea of telling everyone about my past life, pidge?” His voice is low, calm but brewing like an approaching storm.
“Because it pains me just imagining the repercussions that could arise if ya did.” He mutters, and your throat gets tight.
There's an underlying threat below his words.
Fiercely, stubbornly, you glare at him, refusing to speak. But you know you won’t say anything. He must know it too. You’ve left your past far back at home. And you don’t want him reviving your ghosts either.
Suddenly the back of Ezra’s hand gingerly, barely touching your skin, grazes against your cheek. He whispers out your name.
“The years out here have made you bloom, like a beautiful desert petal.” He mumbles with hazed eyes.
Out of spite you snap your face away and scowl even harder at him.
“I have to get home.” You snap angrily, managing to finally remove yourself from him.
“The motel houses me for the time being,” he declares from behind in the shadows.
“Unless that blonde Galahad cowboy of yours is keeping your bed warm now?” Ezra adds almost amused.
Rage bursts a furious fire in you, and it consumes you in its heated path.
“Rot in hell.” You snarl whipping back to him.
“As long as you keep me company, beautiful.” Ezra replies coy.
You’re about to curse his soul when he stomps towards you, fast and steady. His hand flings to your face, pulls you back to the shadow of the tailor shop.
He kisses you with the fierce intensity of a sudden dust storm. It even shakes your soul, spins you around, as if you were caught in an actual twister.
He tastes like the faint hints of a cigar, but something still so deliciously sinful and him. Your knees want to buckle when he easily slips his tongue inside and immediately coaxes his against yours.
You whimper, don’t even realize he’s maneuvered you to the wall of the shop, until your back gently hits the cool wood building.
It’s like your body is imprinted to his, completely answering his call, willingly and wanting to be closer to him while your hands clutch at his broad shoulders.
His body pins you firm against the building, and already he grinds his hips into you.
Then the laughter nearby bursts the bubble, snaps your attention clear.
You scramble and rapidly shove Ezra away. You don’t say another word and simply walk away.
However your lips continue to sting, as if bitten by a bee. Your hands ache empty like they’re missing the presence of his body in their grasp.
You can’t fall for this trap again.
But by the time you arrive back home, greet your aunt warmly, the lie spills from your lips before you can stop it.
“Julie wants to start the inventory sooner. So I’ll be heading back and staying over at the shop.”
Your aunt doesn’t question you, simply grins sweet and wishes you a safe trip back to town.
The sun barely sets in for the night over the horizon. The sky is a dusty blue, the softest color before bleeding into a dark midnight. The desert at night is another creature entirely. Even as you walk into town, you try to stay aware and low from any curious eyes.
The motel approaches fast. The caretaker gives you a curious look but before he can, he’s called away.
Ezra already waits for you at the top of the stairs, hidden in the shadows but still so distinct among them.
He doesn’t tease you, doesn’t even greet you. His presence seems so different with how intense he stares at you. Simply moving to intertwine his hand with yours, he guides you to his room. Inside it’s like the world melts away. It’s only you and him.
He devours you, ravenous, like trying to both make up for lost time and also feel like not a day has passed. Your hands run through his hair, knock off his cowboy hat.
You hate how badly you’ve missed this, missed him. He’s the only man your body has known, and the nights you’ve ached for him your fingers never did him justice.
When you’re bare among his bed, and his fingers slide into your wet core, you whine against his lips.
“This cunt still mine, pretty girl?” He asks mutter.
You wearily nod then all thoughts shatter when he rubs against that certain spot you can never reach. Your body crashes in a climax so shakily fast you have to catch your breath against him.
Ezra kisses the top of your head over and over.
“That’s my sweet peach,” he says in awe.
You greedily now pull him towards you, aching even more for him to be inside.
But he’s not finished with you. Ezra greed swallows your sigh before his lips move down your bare body to your core and kisses you with reverent devotion.
Your body melts into the sheets feeling his tongue trace paths among your wet cunt.
Ezra firmly calls your name. It sounds like your soul is being brought back. Wearily you sit up to see him peering up at you between your legs. Slowly he lifts himself away from your cunt, his face glistening with your arousal.
Those obsidian eyes of his blazing in the candlelight lock you in their gaze. Keeping eye contact with you he suddenly spits down to your wet aching sex, and your mind spins.
It’s obscene, you should be disgusted and horrified. You even wonder if you’ve been transported to the brothel a few ways down the road. But it feels absolutely divine especially when he does it again.
“Oh she likes this.” Ezra coo’s then presses ever the softest kiss against your soaked throbbing pearl. “This pretty little cunt, my lovely lady, ache for me huh?”
You don’t argue with him. You don’t want to. He makes you come again and a creature raw and hungry awakens in you. You claw at him, now needing him inside.
It’s like a piece of yourself returns when Ezra slides into you. It’s hot, heavy, frantic but feels sacred.
Ezra must sense it too, because he doesn’t last long. When he spills over your tummy, his hands become claws and keep you caged in his grasp. Your con artist kisses every inch of you he can.
Sweaty and tangled in him, you still feel a tinge of sadness creep in.
“You left me.” You whimper against his lips.
“And it will haunt me until my dying breath.” Ezra sighs back, his voice weighing heavy. “I was planning to come back for you, my bird. But your mother…”
She had put a bounty out on your drifter, managed to get the sheriff on her side. You knew even in your anger at Ezra leaving, it was smart of him to escape.
His hand cradles your face, and his thumb strokes your cheekbone. Those endless eyes shimmer in the low light.
“But I’m here now, pidge.” Sincerity radiates from him.
You’re now able to bask in his beauty - his gorgeous jaw, his beautiful nose, the striking streak of blonde hair that has been hidden under his hat and you’ve been dying to see.
You nuzzle your face into his palm.
“What are you doing here? Truly?” You ask.
“I told you,” Ezra says, drawing your face towards him to kiss you tender again. “I’m here to try and prove myself victorious.”
You’re not sure you believe his words.
But you end up staying with him. Early morning, before the sun reaches over the desert, his fingers trace your face waking you up.
“Dawn bathes you in her glory.” He mutters. Embarrassed at his words you burrow your face into the pillow.
He doesn’t chase you, but instead lets his fingers draw aimless shapes against your shoulder.
“There wasn’t a day where you did not occupy my mind, even after all these years.” Ezra admits low, as if he didn’t realize those words escaped him.
Slowly you turn towards him and discover those deep eyes hazed over staring at you.
“I hate you.” You tell him without any malice. In fact an emotion something very opposite of hatred soaks your words.
“I know. I’d hate me too.” Ezra agrees muttering then leans down to kiss you gingerly.
You have to leave before the town wakes up, and to seal your alibi.
With a final kiss goodbye, you head to the tailor shop.
Julie finds you in the shop when she arrives and applauds you for your diligence and wanting to get a jump start on inventory. You’re thankful the lie worked out this way. You even manage to convince her to let you finish inventory the rest of the week. Of course she happily agrees.
Ezra drops by to pick up his riding gloves and winks at you shamelessly. You roll your eyes but hate how badly you fight against a grin.
The next few days are spent between the shop and the motel. You already brace your heart for Ezra’s departure approaching once the tournament is over, but you try not to face that.
“You’ve been in a rather good mood.” Your aunt notices when you stop by to drop off goods for her.
“Thought you hated inventory.” She comments.
“Guess not.” You reply with a shrug.
This blissful cloud you’re walking in however does cloud your mind. It makes you sloppy. Instead of taking the longer path to the motel, the one that kept you away from the views of the main road and town, you walk straight into town.
Running right into Duke Williams.
He says your name bright and clear. Dread dawns on you fast.
“Haven’t seen you ‘round. Heard Julie’s got ya working extra hard.” Duke smiles.
You hate this small town and the small whispers that spread like wildfire.
You reassure Duke you’re fine and are even glad you can help Julie.
All his friends, in their sleek cowboy hats, and dusty spurs, stand off to the side snicker. They crowd around each other like an ominous pack of wolves.
One of them even calls your name.
“Might wanna enjoy this freedom while it last!” He proclaims, and your stomach twists.
The other guys snickers, shushing him playfull, and even Duke turns around to reprimand him.
“What does he mean by that?” You cautiously question.
Duke simply waves the conversation off instead offering to walk you to the tailors.
You politely decline.
“Aw come on, sweet thing like you shouldn’t be walking alone at night.” Duke smiles but even with his sweet eyes you’re reminded of a crocodile now.
“Well gentleman, that’s why i’ll accompany this lovely bird to her destination.” Emerging from the shadows Ezra grins warm.
He must have come to find you after you hadn’t shown up at the motel.
The men including Duke go eerily silent. Ezra is older than Duke and the younger men. So he holds seniority now. But besides that, Duke now seems wary, and you don’t blame him. Ezra is a man that radiates a sort of unpredictable energy.
“You sure you don’t want me to walk ya back now?” You almost appreciate the slight genuine worry leaking into Duke’s voice. But shaking your head you move to walk with Ezra by your side.
You do hate how all eyes are on you, even walking away from Duke and his mindless followers.
“Just remain calm.” Ezra mutters.
You do especially with him by your side. By the time you open the tailors you thank Ezra, worried Duke and his men are still watching.
You whisper for him to meet you behind the shop, and he does. Your swindler willingly steps into the back room with you.
“Not my ideal choice for our evening, but I do love a good change of scenery.” Ezra comments amused browsing around the storage. Playfully, you throw a ball of yarn at him.
You’re surprised he even helps you with the small bit of inventory you do.
“That young buck…” until his voice comes out low. “He’s fond of you.”
“Unfortunately.” You reply back unamused.
“Earlier at the saloon…he was boasting.” Ezra continues with the same serious tone.
“About enjoying the last days of being an unmarried man.”
That causes you to pause.
“Must mean he’s gotten over me.” You sigh, thank goodness.
“No pidge…” Ezra stops to turn towards you. “He was proclaiming how you were to be his bride.”
Your stomach drops.
You think of the way the boys just now snickered almost knowingly, and that strange comment one of themselves said -
All of it makes your stomach sick, and you have to sit down.
No. There was just no way.
“I’d never accept his proposal.” You snap out hating how badly your body feels frantic, almost skittish like a cornered road runner.
Ezra kneels before you rubbing your hand with his, a strange solid comfort.
Eventually he gathers you into his arms and calms you with soothing soft words.
“We’ll figure out a solution.”
You still don’t know if you can trust his words. But that's all you have. Your drifter stays with you overnight in the tailor shop. You even feel sinful fucking him in the back room but it’s deliciously sinfull all the same.
Sitting and resting against the work desk you fade in and out of sleep. Tender fingers brush against your fingers, ghost like. Ezra is gone by the time you wake up and Julie’s entering the shop jolts you awake.
Her eyes are frazzled.
“Did you hear? Mister Johnston’s eldest son was shot down early this morning.”
You hadn’t heard. Dread fills you fast when you realize Johnston's boy was the one who had made the joking comment to you last night.
There’s talk about postponing the competition. But others in town, especially Duke, argue to continue the tradition in a way to honor the fallen young man.
An ominous terror looms in you.
Later that night, you return to the motel. Too many thoughts swarm in your head, and Ezra even seems distant. He even slides his duster jacket one before kissing you.
“I have some personal matters to attend to, pidge. Get some respite here.”
His boots echo down the hall and then down the stairs.
You can’t sleep. So you move to slide open the window and let some of the night air in.
The faint mutter of discussion very close outside in the alleyway floats into the room.
It’s muffled at first, but once you step closer and concentrate, you pick up the very familiar cadence of a certain drifter.
“No no, I have it covered. As long as you make sure to double the bets on me tomorrow.” Ezra explains in a hush.
The others with him explain the different amounts they’ve collected, and it hits you.
He’s gambling on the competition.
That’s why he’s here.
You knew the men at the saloon often bet, but this feels heavier.
A new clicking of spurs arrives.
“Y’know, you fellas look like a dangerous bunch all here hidden in the shadows.” Duke.
Panic prickles all over your body.
“Now young buck, we’re just here partaking in a fun and friendly wager.” Ezra with his smooth talking skills deflates the tension easily.
“Waggerin’ on what?” You’re surprised Duke immediately quickly jumps in to gamble.
Ezra and the other men begin conspiring on how to make sure Duke wins to favor the odds of their bets.
“I like the sound of that.” Duke grins.
He makes a hefty wager on himself to win, the price even makes someone whistle.
They offer to place their wagers on him as well and with Ezra even in the competition, he’s argued to be an even better reassurance that the outcome falls in their favor.
Ezra even swears by this.
They’re fixing the match, going to cheat. You don’t know how to feel about any of this.
They end their discussion, and you quietly slide back into bed. Before long Ezra returns, the smell of tobacco and the cold air lingers in the room.
His fingers dance against your shoulders while your back stays to him.
“You’re only here… to make money, and cheat.” You mutter hollow.
His fingers stop.
“You overheard.”
You don’t reply to him. Ezra sighs.
“Indeed I am. But I’m no different than the gentlemen that place simple wagers on a game of horseshoe.” He explains low, under the whisper of the candle flicker.
“But it’s like you’re wanting to play with a weighted or lighter horseshoe.” You argue back.
“Is it not in our best natures to make sure Lady Luck favors us by any means possible?”
You don’t know how to reply to him.
“…I’m doing this for you, for us.” He adds.
You turn to him, your face scrunching up in fury.
“Bullshit.” You tell him.
“Believe me a liar, but I’m honest in my endeavor.” His face becomes a firm steeled frown.
You can’t look at him anymore, turning your back again to Erza in bed.
“My hope was to gain enough funds to pay for the bounty your mother placed on me, return for your hand, and make our way into a new life together.” His voice is steady.
“Unless you wish to stay here and wed that Duke.” He offers.
You whip back to glare harsh at Ezra.
There’s a silence heavy and ancient like the desert that settles between you. But it doesn’t last long before Ezra leans down and sweeps in to capture your lips
The discussion dies immediately as passion burns in its place.
You don’t think of gambling cowboys, or of your mysterious drifter, only of the moment consuming you now, and you almost pray you never leave it.
- ☾𖤓 -
Late in the night, wearily half sleep, the bed shifting jolts you awake, and you even hear the door creak open. Before you can ask Ezra if he’s alright, your eyes so sleepy flutter close for a moment. Then he’s sliding back into the warmth pulling you close into his arms. You fall right back to your dreams.
In the early hours of the morning, Ezra kisses your jaw.
“My lucky charm, are you going to observe our tournament today?” He mutters.
The competition was today.
“You nervous?” You had never seen him ride much less try ranch hand work.
“Never.” He says smoothly.
Eventually he slides out of bed and lets you get ready. But soon Ezra walks over and places something in your hands.
The pistol weighs heavy, cold. And your eyes snap open wide now fully awake.
“Why-”
He cuts you off gently. “You know how to fire, yes?”
You nod weakly.
A small smirk tugs at his handsome lips. “Figured as much, after seeing your mother.”
It’s an attempt to tease, but too much terror bubbles in you.
“I just need to know you’re protected.” Ezra reveals, but with a croak you ask why.
“Cause unfortunate as it might be, it’s even more dangerous for a criminal like me to cherish something.”
Your eyes water. There are too many questions in your head, but the day will be starting soon. You need to leave before you’re spotted.
“Tell me you have another gun.” You snap at him.
Ezra simply taps the side of his head. “Don’t need another firearm when I have this weapon.”
You angrily throw the pistol down back to the bed, refusing to take it. That’s when he snaps your name, hard and serious.
You’ve never heard his voice raise like that.
“Take it.” He grabs the firearm and hands it back to you. His midnight eyes are ominously serious with no room for argument.
His hand grabs your face firm in his hand. Your eyes search his endless midnight lake eyes.
“I call you pidge, my little pigeon bird. But I’ve known right from the start you’re a fierce creature. Don’t ever forget that.”
Ezra’s words are beautiful but barbed. They rip up tracks in your heart. He kisses you quick, fierce and short. You hate how it feels like a goodbye.
With shaking hands and confusion, you slide the gun into your satchel. You walk back to your aunt's cabin in a daze. So much so that you barely notice she’s already awake when you sneak back in.
“You have fun at the motel again?” She asks, and fear freezes you.
“I wasn’t-”
“Mac, your uncle’s good friend, gave me the heads up.” She cuts you off softly.
Mac, the innkeeper. God damn this small town. Venom, anger, indignation, they all swirl violently in you.
“Whatever you’re doing there, you’re only gonna find danger.” She says somber, and you stay quiet.
Your aunt sighs.
“You’re lucky this hasn’t gotten out yet. What would young Duke say if he found out?”
Frustration bursts in you, and you snap furious about why would you even need to care about that man’s opinion of you.
“Because he plans on weddin’ you, and I plan on letting him.” Your aunt fires back and her words shoot right through you.
Your legs feel like they’re about to give out, even have to steady yourself against the nearby chair.
You thought your aunt understood. She’s been alone, a widow since she was around your age, longer than your mother had been a widow. You thought she’d never fall into the trap of forcing marriage.
“It’s for your own good.” She argues, watery urgent m. “You need protection, a home, a husband to provide for you.”
You rush out of the house even ignoring the screams from your aunt.
You’d have to think of a plan fast. Maybe leave with Ezra once the competition ends today. It’s all too much. You swallow back a sob and walk back into town.
The competition was today after all.
The day at the shop is very short. Julie doesn’t even notice your somber atmosphere as she’s completely caught up in the excitement of this day. So many more wagons stretch around the edge of town.
Pecos flutters alive with life.
But there’s already commotion, a dangerous kind that chokes the competition tense.
Duke yells loud and furious. The sheriff along with his deputies are nearby. Thankfully you spot Martha and quickly move to ask her what’s going on.
“Duke’s horse is missing.” She whispers.
From what Martha says, when Duke went to the stables this morning the gate was open and his horse was nowhere to be seen. His trusty companion, you even knew how serious an issue this is.
“Well young buck, if you’re that upset then maybe you shouldn’t partake in the festivities.” Ezra, out of thin air, offers.
He looks confident as he strolls up.
“Or you simply ride with another mare?” He proposes with a coy optimism.
“Fuck you!” Duke snaps at Ezra and even looks as if he’s going to lunge.
Your heart hammers hard in your chest. Thankfully the sheriff settles the commotion down.
Angered but stubborn, Duke declares he’s staying to compete and will simply use another horse. He is favored to win after all.
Other cowboys from out of town have blown in like packs of tumbleweed. So many of them are excited to participate and try their hand at showing off their rancher skills
Some are good.
But it is Ezra who proves to be the dark horse, the surprise underdog.
Watching him on his stallion, your throat goes dry seeing how effortless and strong he manages his horse. You never knew he could ride. The way he maneuvers and stays a quiet presence, he reminds you of an outlaw.
“Moves like a bandit.” Someone in the crowd even whispers.
His rope throwing skills however surprise everyone, including yourself. The calf he manages to wrangle takes you by shock. A dangerous lust slithers over your body watching him wrangle the animal with his strength and sturdy form.
But you realize -
This wasn’t what had been planned. From the discussion given last night, Ezra was meant to perform poorly to make sure Duke did better.
But this is exactly the opposite.
He’s the lead runner for champion of the competition.
And then Duke’s turn arrives. The crowd mummers curious, on edge waiting for the favored cowboy to make his move.
The horse he uses is not cooperative. Duke screams, unable to hide his frustration in wrangling the creature.
But once he stabilizes a manageable ride, he goes to lasso the calf. His rope lands and the crowd cheers. He’s already faster than Ezra.
Until the frayed rope snaps and the calf yanks itself free.
The crowd gasps.
It’s not an immediate disqualification, but it doesn’t look good. Duke argues that his rope was frayed and that someone must have slowly started cutting at it. However it’s a long shot argument. There’s no way to prove that and even the sheriff seems a little wary of the accusation.
“That’s just the way rope is son, you just gotta keep an eye on it.”
Duke screams in anguish canyon splitting anger. You’ve never once seen him like this. It’s like it’s a whole new man, or maybe, his true self being revealed.
He’s offered another rope, but it’s almost horrifying to watch that one as well snap. The crowd again gasps.
This wasn’t the outcome meant to happen.
“Duke’s cursed.” Someone mumbles.
The crowd is in disbelief, you even are. The last remaining competitors try their luck, but none can beat Ezra’s speed.
You can’t believe it. But he won.
And Duke is livid. The crowd tentatively applauds Ezra’s win because of the somber mood clashing.
“You bastard! You goddamn cheated!” Duke screams at Ezra while the deputies try settling him down.
“Poor boy,” Ezra says sympathetically before turning to find you in the crowd.
There’s a gleam of something proud shimmering in his dark eyes.
You don’t question it, don’t want to.
Ezra truly is a man of many facets, dangerous ones, like looking at a raw gemstone that could cut your fingers.
The competition spills into the nearby saloons, and the festivities only seem to intensify as the sun starts setting. You can’t even reach Ezra from the groups swirling around him and want to get as far away from Duke as possible.
So you return back to the tailor shop. Julie urges you to join her and the other women at the mayor’s large property, but you decline.
You simply sit in the store trying to muster up a plan. But in a blink, the night arrives and you have to find Ezra.
So after locking up the shop, you head to the motel.
Until the sound of Duke’s screaming and the rage of violence roars nearby.
You freeze, terrified.
Until someone wearily coughs. “That’s what ya get for gamblin’ with bandits, boy.”
Your swindler’s distinct twang drawls smug and now your body rushes to the secluded alleyway.
You swallow back a scream at the sight you stumble upon. Duke with blood fists has Ezra pinned against the wall, like a mythological creature, terrifying and large looking over with violence in his wake.
Ezra’s face is bloody and one of his arms even hangs limp.
“Pidge.” He coughs, and your heart aches.
Duke whips around to see you and barks for you to leave.
Shakily you snatch down to your bag, and whip out the gun to point it to him. Duke’s face falls a bit confused.
“Honey this man wronged me, I’m only enacting my justice.” He argues.
You snap at him to let Ezra go or else.
That’s when a sinister evil darkens Duke’s golden boy face.
“So, ya little god damn whore…you’re workin’ with this man aren’t ya? I knew I should’ve listened to all the rumors about a slut like you.” He spits with venom leaking from his voice.
“Don’t you touch her.” Ezra snarls, but Duke pays him no mind keeping his sinister eyes on you.
“What?” Duke slowly mutters. “Do ya really think you’re gonna shoot me?”
Tears fill your eyes. You don’t want to, but the way your heart races like a terrified Jack rabbit it screams at you to flee. But… you also wonder if your heart races because it’s urging you to attack, to bare your fangs.
Instead of releasing Ezra, Duke moves to grip his coat harder. He slams your drifter hard and fast against the wall. A painful crack-like smack comes, and you scream.
You fire the gun instantly.
Duke blinks, you even wonder if you landed a hit.
Until deep dark crimson, almost the color of dark sludge, leaks across Duke’s side. He crumbles like a fall leaf.
You cry scrambling to Ezra who thankfully is still standing. Duke wheezes out obscenities and even tries hollering for help. You’re however too worried about Ezra.
“M’fine,” your drifter reassures with a wheeze.
“Hand me the gun, dearest.” Ezra somberly mutters. When you do, without hesitation Ezra fires the gun point black down at Duke. And your eyes shut hearing the pistol strike. Duke goes quiet and stays silent.
“Come on, we gotta hurry.” Ezra urges.
Supporting his body, you manage to get him into the tailor shop to tend to his wounds.
Ezra coughs out your name. “M’dearest, I need to make my escape out of town once more.” His breathing his heaved, he needs to rest.
“Don’t leave me.” You cry sharp, unable to focus on anything now.
His hand slides to your face and he cradles you tenderly. You clutch at his wrist as you blink back tears starting at him now.
“It will not be a pleasant life, staying with a devil like me.” He mumbles.
Doesn't he realize, you’re just as tarnished as him now? Blood is on your hands. You simply turn to kiss the palm of his hand feeling more reassured than ever.
“I’d rather be with the devil than live without him.” You speak soft into his skin while tears dry on your cheeks.
He barks a hollow but watery thick laugh as he says your name. “You foolish bird, my lovely dangerous creature.”
The desert is unforgiving to those who do now learn to grow fangs or become just as fierce as its landscape. You wonder if that’s what has become of you. But you don’t question it. You simply gather all you can, steal one of the horses from the saloon and keep Ezra close to you on the saddle.
If Ezra is a devil, then you’re grateful he saved you from your hell. And for him, you will gladly stain your soul.
Under the eternal eyes of the desert, you wander into the night keeping your bandit close to you.
In the distance a lone coyote howls aching at the moon.
You don’t look back once.
#hi howdy yeehaw if you’re reading this cowboy Ezra & I think you’re the bees knees and I thank you truly!!#cowboy!ezra#ezra (prospect) x reader#ezra x reader#ezra x f!reader#ezra x you#prospect fanfic#Ezra 🤎#pedrostories
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Mum and Dad got me a kindle!
I want to get back into reading more. I do actually read a lot of fanfiction, I spend a lot of time doing that. But I have barely read any "real" books in a long time.
I wanted to try the Outlander book series. So Mum got me the first one on my kindle now!
I am a bit worried about the blue light on the screen maybe cause headaches? (Because that is a big problem for me with screens). But it is e-ink, so less bright. And it has dark mode. And I can change text size. And put brightness really low!
It is also really lightweight, much lighter than my phone!! That will really help me to actually use it, because it won't get tiring or sore to hold (or it will take a lot longer to get to that point).
Anyway, wish me luck with Outlander! 😊🤞🏻
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my favorite part of lestat's narrations is when he uses the beginning to describe how beautiful he is. go off queen
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i don't remember crying the first time i finished The Left Hand of Darkness, but i sure did this time!!!
you know how it is, just thinking about my OTHER favorite book in which there is unresolved (??) sexual tension in a tent on a glacier between a) a genderless/genderfluid politically-scheming mystic who is passionately devoted to changing his world for the better & b) the deeply ignorant but well-meaning telepathically-gifted man on whom the fate of that world hinges
pretty impressive that the end of Fool's Fate manages to be MORE heartbreaking. taking the rest of RotE into account i think Estraven got off easier than Beloved :')
#the left hand of darkness#realm of the elderlings#ursula le guin 🤝 robin hobb -> drinking my tears#i think it's been at least 10 years since i read it so i was definitely due to reread!#fucking fantastic book#now i get to read the dispossessed for the first time#'unresolved (??)' because i know what happened in the elderling tent#ezra reads
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my favorite venomous robot 🩵💙🧡
#electric bones#ezra#hazel and bell#bell and hazel#READ ELECTRIC BONES#RIGHT NOW#🫵🫵🫵#art#my art#fanart#WEBTOON
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Star Wars: Rebels (Comic) ★ Issue 9
#ah yes...the iconic moment in the comics where theyre in front of a firing squad. literally the entire reason i read the comics.#day 16#daily ezra bridger#ezra bridger#star wars#star wars rebels#star wars: rebels#sw rebels#swr#sw comics star wars comics#star wars rebels magazine#star wars rebels magazine comics#hera syndulla#kanan jarrus#rebels chopper#swr chopper
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