#experimental vlog

[surrealliberosis]

Hi, Tumblr. It's Oni.

TW: Mild Violence, for the following content showcases physical combat. All movements shown should not be imitated.

I haven't thought of putting actual effort into a real blog compared to the short ones sourced within the site (reposts and screen recording), nor do I have any intention to frequently do such content, so think of this as some sort of biographical experiment. I hope you enjoy the rambling.

So what happened earlier was that I visited the town center mall, and I grabbed my hands on one of the arcade cabinets to play...

Yeah. I played Street Fighter VI.

This isn't my first time though. I played it once a few weeks ago, and it's EXCITING. It felt like a dream come true. It's really surprising how experiencing the game by hand is different from passively appreciating it. It made me very happy cuz' it's an opportunity worth taking to play this game.

The first gameplay I've made is just pure improv - mashing buttons without understanding the fundamentals; Now, revisiting the game, I got the opportunity to practice in Tutorial Mode. I learned about the basic attacks and new gameplay mechanics, which took a little while but got a slight hang of it.

Short comment: Classic controls are hard for a fighting game noobs like me. Glad I selected the tutorial set for the Modern control scheme. Easier to learn and grasp with the controls.

Once I'm done understanding how to practically use and memorize the basics, I've started learning how to play my favorite character. Juri Han.

Short disclaimer: this post is not meant for anybody who likes grippers (ew). Sorry, not having that. Careful, kids.

Playing as Juri is quite different from playing as Luke (the tutorial character), cuz she has a tricky moveset that can seize opening vulnerabilities within close attack range and her moveset is unpredictable (at least from what I can precisely remember during the tutorial). I looked up at her character guide in-game to practice basic attacks and fundamental combos. The attack animations are satisfying to watch because of how fluid and dynamic her moves are, and how there's this splash-like woosh effect that empasizes strong movement. It took me a while to let the unique basic attacks sink in my head until I can independently make up some decent combos.

I have a few clips of live gameplay since I wasn't initially going to stay at the mall for very long, so here's a short clip of me basically experimenting with Juri's moves in practice mode (along with the random button-mashing).

I could also show more, but I just found out that I can only share 1 video per post. Okay, Tumblr.

That's basically about it lol. It overall cheered me up when I felt down earlier this morning due to tons of schoolwork. Hopefully I'll come back to visit and play again next time.

Hm. Maybe I'll actually get the game one day. Heh.

Okay. Bye now.

Edit: I can't play A.K.I waaaaaahhh 😭

[verenadelamarza]

My first (experimental) video 💖

My first video on YouTube just to start and test editing and recording methods!!

Meu primeiro vídeo (experimental) no YouTube apenas para começar e testar maneiras de edição e gravação!!

[sensitiveartisttypes]

thingsfromthevoid - surround sound stuff

[veeveetheheretic]

this place is pretty chill.

song is Breeze by Infinity Frequencies.

[plounce]

come with me on my wikipedia journey about the trash tube

visited the wikipedia page "list of musical instruments" (i was trying to remember instruments) and immediately encountered the problem of the image for "anvil" being ten billion times larger than all the other images (or rather, "pictureks") and ruining the formatting by adding a horizontal scroll bar:

nevertheless i scroll down and find another even more baffling entry

"trash tube". no linked page. just a photo of a guy holding... something.

it is titled "The Trash Tube being used by the creator Jeremy Leafey". i click to see more details on the wikimedia page.

The Trash Tube is an percussion instrument made by Jeremy Leafey who is the bass guitarist to the Philadelphia jamband “Refrigerator” in 2020 during the COVID-19 pandemic. The instrument is made of old trash found in Jeremy’s house such as two plastic cups taped together with pencils and popsicle sticks inside so it can be used as a shaker and has many other things attached to make different sounds such as, a hair comb, wrench, bracelets, paper clips, and toothpicks. Jeremy used this instrument in jams from psychedelic funk to experimental music and continues to use it till this day.

well that's pretty cool i suppose. don't know if it warrants an entry on this wikipedia page, though.

Starrlightmighty5's contribs are:

it is fairly obvious this is jeremy. "trash tube in use.jpg" was his first upload.

here is the relevant edit history for the inclusion of the trash tube in the list of instruments.

the other files, though: "bassduet.jpg" is him playing with his bass guitar teacher, who runs a bass guitar school. "standstraightorleave.jpg" is the album cover to his avant-garde/experimental music, released under his solo name - "starrlight mighty5", which explains the username (unfortunately when you google it, you mostly get results for traveling in utah). here is one of his recordings on youtube, uploaded in july 2020, which he describes as "an original Lowercase song by me that is made of objects/instruments around my house".

he then adds, "I play in a jamband called “Refrigerator” Here’s our website where you can find our social media, band info, and concert/tour dates!: https://sites.google.com/view/rerigeratorband/home?authuser=1"

now, if you click that link, you will find that it does not work. it does not work even if you add the "f" in "refrigerator" to the url." 404 page :(

the most recent jpg in the list is "refrigerator together.jpg", from april 2021, and it's a photo of six teen boys in a backyard, all holding up white shirts with their first names printed on them in a cool font. the description is "Refrigerator all together before playing", and it was taken in june 2020, almost a year before it was uploaded. one of the boys is named cole, and on the song i linked earlier he commented "Pretty Cool Jermey".

he has a lot of marching band & jazz band vlogs on his youtube as well, along with a lot of uploads of more obscure rock songs, re-uploads of rock concert footage, him playing some pretty sick bass riffs, and references in various pieces of media to bands he likes, especially phish. he just seems to be a real big music nerd, which is awesome. he's 19 now and hasn't uploaded anything in two years. i hope refrigerator still hangs out and jams. i hope he's doing even sicker bass riffs. i wonder if he still plays the trash tube.

[the-fab-fox]

RETURN OF THE TWITCH STREAM!

Alright, so most of my moots and followers may not know this but I'm an affiliate streamer on Twitch. I stopped for awhile because I just wasn't feeling it and the big reason why is that I didn't have my vtubing model and things like that. (I feel ugly so I don't want to show my face and I feel like vtubing would be so much more fun.)

So my bestie got me a 3d model for Christmas and I was hoping I could share him with you!

Let me know!

Oh, and here's my twitch if y'all wanna follow before the reboot goes underway. I'll be doing chatting and playing a variety of games. Probably most recently will be a new fresh run of FE3H where I will finally romance Dimitri. Only one I haven't done yet specifically so I could play it on twitch. 🤣

Secondly, I really want to do two segments for Twst. Originally I thought that I would just play the game on twitch. But unfortunately it's not really a streamable game. Not in a fun way. So that brought me to my secondary options.

To help support the test fandom, I'm considering the following segments:

A fanart sharing series where I find the fanarts that really spoke to me. I will also send out, a day prior, the reminder to send in the arts y'all really love (of all time, not just within the week). I plan to make a form so that you can send the link as well as your information. You can be anonymous, just tell me in the submission. There will also be a section for you to write out your thoughts on the fanart that you would like to be read out on the stream.

And a fanfic series that follows along the same line. There would just be two forms to answer (optional). The first, the same comment section. The second, a section to put the parts that you really loved (without spoilers) and then I can read those snippets of the fic.

As a note, you will need to reach out to the author/artist and ask them for permission to have their creation featured in my streams. I will need screenshot proof of their permission, and there will be a place for it to be included in the form.

And once all the recs for those segments will finalize with a poll on all the stuff we looked at. For writing, the winner of the poll will get their fic read (as long as pg13 or lower) at the end of the stream. (I will sometimes push one to another week so that I can also feature some of my own fics from time to time).

Lastly, I was also considering doing a writing advice segment where I give advice on writing from my own experience along with examples within my own writing or, perhaps, others when they have perfect examples of what I'm talking about. I will also set up a form so that you guys can send in questions. I won't answer them from the chat as that can get too confusing and this is much better. (And if I run out of questions, I'll then open it to the chat and answer as I get them in. (Obviously some will be missed and that can't be helped. Just give it like ten fifteen minutes and send it again. If it's really imperative, just send the form and you're guaranteed an answer, it just might take longer.)

I would also like to have a vlog that documents my journey in writing my novel. I think it could help me keep on track. I'll periodically share little segments I'm really proud of and things like that. As well as talk about the struggles and how I'm working to overcome them. And ofc answer questions. But that one would be a casual in-the-moment q&a.

I feel like there was more I was chewing on. I do know that I want to do ASMR. It's always been a important tool in my life and I've always wanted to be an ASMR artist. I'm excited because I don't think many of those artists use a vibe model and so I think that will definitely give me a leg up as far as uniqueness. Just hope it goes well lol. I'm trying all kinds of experimental things and am so excited.

Oooh we could do a smash or pass or tier ranking. Or a meme hour where we share our favorite nerd memes no matter the fandom. (Though mine will mostly be Twst and FE3H LMAO)

But yeah so lots to think on. I will probably have a re-intro vlog. Maybe 2 Get to Know me types where I talk about where I wanna take my stream and also answer y'all's questions. And we can discuss other stuff y'all wanna see.

Oh and forgot. I will also be doing a FFXIV (i think that's the right one.) Whatever the MMORPG that's currently running for final fantasy. And we'll start with character creation and y'all will create our character we'll follow through the game. Y'all can make fanfic or fanart about them if ya like and memes and stuff and I'll share on the stream at some point.

Alright. This is mostly for my moots as they are in these fandoms. But I'm tagging stream tags too, in order to get the word out.

And if y'all have any more suggestions of things y'all would want me to do, please let me know! I'm excited to get started again. Just wish I had a little better equipment LMAO. One day!

This got long. If y'all would like to see what my cute mascot looks like, lemme know on the post or shoot me a message. Thanks again for your time.

[ofmermaidstories]

If you don't mind me asking- What is the dr*monies and the r*ylos thing about??

so the short of it is that people are selling physical copies of fics on etsy at an insane ($100+!!) cost without their writers permission, and in response to that violation, said writers are taking their fics down.

this is mostly contained to the dr*monies!! or at least it’s only them i’ve seen it affect. 🥹 i’ve seen outraged threads about it on twitter and devastated videos on tiktok (one of the authors is fairly popular, i think, and had a WIP going that now the readers of will never know the ending to 🥺) and—like, i’ve also seen people panic that this is going to kickstart a gutting of varying fandoms but tbh i think this is a very uniquely them problem LOL. like i said earlier, the dr*monies and the r*ylos occupy a really interesting space in fandom where they are so strictly straight—and it like, clearly resonates with the booktok crowd, the same readers who made smut in cartoon covers shoot to the top of best seller lists. so then you have videos about the single most popular dr*monie fanfic, manacled, taking off for it’s “dark romance” vibes, and making it viral within those circles—and then those readers, who maybe didn’t care for h*rry p*tter fanfic before but liked senlinyu’s dollhouse interpretation of these characters, go on to read and make super-popular other fics in the pairing. but that’s the problem, you’re introducing people who might be new to fandom and it’s conventions to a community they haven’t operated in before—and they’re coming from this like, really consumer-driven space where people post like… book hauls! bookstore vlogs (my personal fave lmao)! so then they see someone binding manacled out of love, for themselves or a friend who’s a big fan of it, and then they want a copy! so that creates a demand. and it just kinda—it snowballs from there.

it’s really interesting to watch, especially bc i do think the x reader community will be mostly safe from that flavour bullshit lmao. i feel for the writers involved, of course—like, senlinyu has announced that she’s going to pull manacled from ao3 within the next year, i think, because it’s being reworked into an original premise for publication. and while i have such an issue with both the dr*monie and r*ylo communities for basically inviting publishers to treat fanfic communities like untapped money making machines, there wasn’t much else sen could do to protect herself or her work. 🥺 like—she was the first target of all this nonsense! people were—are still, tbh—making money off of her work, without her seeing a dime and also opening her up to the possible legal action from the lawyers behind such a property.

tbh the real enemy in all of this is capitalism. 😩 fanfiction is one of the few, free things we still have that we can do whatever we want in it. there’s no censorship here, thanks to having archives like AO3. you can be as experimental or weird as you like, and there’s not going to be a studio or a publisher behind you going, “no, you can’t write that, it’s too risky, it won’t make money”. and idk!!! i think it’s a space worth protecting. and even though i think the fanfiction is in danger takes generally end up being alarmist, i do think it’s worth keeping our eyes and ears open—to keep up with what’s happening in adjacent communities. even if it’s just so we know what to watch out for, in our own.

[ovwechoes]

Juno Headcanons!

Since Juno's a new hero, these are just some headcanons and things I'd like for her to have as apart of her lore! This was requested in my last post, just in a separate one c:

Juno's main inspiration for becoming a space ranger was Winston; she was very young when she heard about the monkeys on the moon that were developed to be able to talk, understand science, and was fascinated with these discoveries. The more she learned about the work on the moon and what happened, the more her love for space grew and she entered program after program to keep improving her knowledge, and keep growing her interest in space. She always reminds Winston that he should be proud of himself because without him, she wouldn't be able to work alongside them in the way she does now.

She's not directly related to Mei, but her family were extremely close and her mother was one of the experimental scientists who worked with her in Antarctica. This is sort of confirmed with the picture of Mei and another woman inside Juno's airship on the Dorado map, but it would be really cool if it was a situation where Juno had heard all about Mei from her mother, and that Mei helped her join Overwatch and learn the ropes.

Speaking of Juno and Mei, I think while working together, Mei would definitely be like a mother to Juno. She would always try and keep her safe, tell her off for getting herself in too much danger (in a very kind and soft way of course), and would make sure she was eating and taking care of herself between missions. She knows first hand how much stress gets put on them as Overwatch agents, so she wants to help Juno as much as she can.

Juno would probably be good friends with D.Va, Tracer and Kiriko. She'd relate to them a lot more and she'd be fascinated with their own stories and life experiences, especially Tracers and with her particle accelerator. Mei would have to remind her that it's rude to ask Tracer about how it happened so bluntly, but Tracer wouldn't mind if it satisfied Juno's curiosity. She would love to learn internet slang off D.Va and would be open to joining her on live streams (since D.Va's the type to vlog everyone and hold interview style streams just so she can beat them at video games they've never touched) and Kiriko would teach her about what's going on in the world and keep her in the loop with the news.

Juno's the type of woman that once she's invested in something, there's no stopping how far she'll go to learn everything about it and understand it completely. She would get involved with it as though it was her life long dream, when in reality she's just a curious cat who needs to know everything about something that's peaked her interest.

I can imagine Juno's the type to 'kill them with kindness' and she lives by that motto. She's been raised with the same mindset as Mei's where she believes that violence isn't the answer. But, she also understands why it's used sometimes and knows that if she needs to use it too, she won't hesitate if it's for the right reasons.

Everyone keeps Juno out of the loop with what happened to Overwatch initially. It was Winston's idea, even though Brigitte is against it. He doesn't want her image of Overwatch to be tainted with Blackwatch and vigilantes that have come out as a result of Overwatch being banned. Juno knows she's working with a secret organisation that's criminalised, but she doesn't know why and it seems like she'd be the type to turn to the wrong people for answers if she was backed into a corner.

Juno has a hard time with people pleasing in the sense that she doesn't know how to stop it. Tracer's teaching her how to be better with it and stand up for herself, because it's hard for her to see someone so naïve on the frontlines. It's easy for naivety to be used against you, so she knows that Juno needs to learn how to stand up for herself and say no before it's too late.

[outofthemouthsof]

Dang, the gloves are off in this episode! Both these love rivals straight up trashing their competition, yikes.

And seemingly polar opposite reactions from the pursued. I’m hoping Jaejun has a good reason for his actions or at least a good redemption arc. YouTube commenters are PISSED though—it’s going to be a heavy lift to win back sympathy.

I’m still here for it—the vlog format is making the more toxic stuff palatable because it’s so experimental and raw feeling. And they’re pretty good at plot twists, so there’s a lot of ways it could go from here!

[lv-iceprince]

💜💜…idol life ship…💜💜

@niohoon

well i'm so excited to say this is finally done! i had so much fun doing this ship. i speed wrote this like heck since i was so looking forward to having this one done for you!

also side note i didn't proofread this and i'm definitely forgetting how to english after studying chinese 😀

~your company~ cube entertainment 💜💜

~group name~ nixve

~members~ 5

~debut date~ 9th of September, 2019

~pre debut days~

in many ways you were the wildcard who turned out to be the ace. yet you don't really perceive it that way at all. unlike yeonjun who loves to have playful, smug jab at how perfect he was back as a trainee, you seem to have some kind of disconnect.

at the time you never felt like an idol, you were just a teen going through life, while simultaneously trying to be one of the top trainees.

you never liked to admit just how competitive you were, yet you couldn't prevent the way it seemed to leak out of you. you didn't have to express your true intentions for it to be apparent that you had a dangerous side to you. while most trainees were intimidated by you there was a soft part in the hearts of the staff members. even so there was this sense of tough love where the knew you would absolutely thrive in an environment where you were really put to work.

all things considered there was extremely soft side that came through where your peers could tell that you meant well, though you seemed so far removed from them you actually did appreciate and admire a few of the other trainees. once you let that be known you were actually pleased to find that the admiration was mutual.

once your cold demeanour shifted it was easier for them to see your intentions and just how brilliant your mind was when it came to performing, you just knew how to be an idol.

this was why you were chosen as the first member of nixve, which was quite surprising considering you were the 2nd youngest trainee at the time. in any other circumstance this would have inflated ones ego, however, you were just relieved that you managed to take a step in the right direction.

the idol life was more of a sentiment rather than a victory. back then you didn't see yourself as more than a girl with dream, an idea that you still kept to this day. fame or money was worthless in comparison to having the opportunity to truly express yourself.

~about you~

nixve's concept is quite unique, it was quite literally an amalgamation of the most abstract modern concepts. nixve stands for many things as a group, the groups lore is actually very complex but thanks to overall talent that nixve possesses you're able to create music that always feels like it's from another plane of existence.

as you can probably guess this group was supposed to be the experimental alternative to blackpink though this wasn't explicitly pushed. it's more that they wanted to combine the blatant girlboss badassery with something extra, which actually relates to your very specific debut date. 999 as an angel number signifies completion and new beginnings, so the 9/9/19 tends to refer to the time when nixve met their one true loves- their fans.

additionally, nixve also leans into a modern, grunge, cyberpunk, type of genre while still maintaining the charm of a cool girl crush group.

moving on from all that lore, you are actually one of the members who suits this concept the best and while you aren't the official face of the group, you are still one of the members who is at the forefront over everyone's minds when they hear the word 'nixve'.

to this day you presume the role of the enigma, forget 4d or 5d personalities you have at least a 17d. just when people thought they truly understood you a vlog comes out where you pull out some new interest or personality trait. this results in a phenomenon completely unique to you where fans feel like they are meeting you for the first time every single day.

even though you a primarily reserved nature you're still the much beloved golden false leader of the group. your silence when the other girls are the definition of chaos is what leads people to believe that you are the most mature member.

this is random but you're also just known to be the most fashionable or visually aesthetic member. your preference for street/grunge clothing as well as your natural visuals results in you being a refreshing sight for kpop stans who wish to bias a new member.

despite your habit of being quite organised and mature you're also kind of dangerous... your hot temper is known to burn the other members. for the most part fans see this as a playful gag, however, your members know all too well how volatile you can be. in short the calmer they can keep you the better.

regardless of that you're also one of the more precious members as in, they truly came to love each and every part of your personality, some of this is directed at your passion for music and how talented you are as a rapper but the rest of that love is because of your sweet attitude. they actually feel so honoured that they know you well enough to receive such kindness from you.

~your position/s~ maknae, visual & main rapper

~debut song~ chorus (rising) in the style of slay- everglow

~other songs include~

that girl is trouble in the style of wannabe- hyoyeon ft. san e

my temptation in the style of unpredictable- victon

system breakdown in the style of soñar (breaker)- nmixx

~debut album~ with all your ♡

~stage outfits~

~relationships~

~best friend~ sinb (viviz) 💜💜

you know that feeling where the universe and the stars seem to align and you meet that one person who you can't seem to get out of your mind? you were drowning in it when you met sinb.

even though your friendship with her is very platonic people ship you so so sooooo hard, i mean yeah it can get annoying but you have to understand they only ship you because it is clear that you make each other so happy. both of you like to put a healthy wall in front of your true emotions, it's so rare that your fans even see what's truly going on. and you know what? the rare moments where they see you messing up and seeming like smiling teens only happen when you're together.

behind the scenes your friendship happened so naturally, neither of you ever had to over exert yourself. it's not like the communication dropped out or you held extremely high standards for one another. you are actually very similar in style, personality and attitude which gave you a valuable insight into each other, so there was never any judgement between the two of you, even if you started saying the most random shit.

did someone say siren friends? like both of you have such an alluring nature and visuals, everyone seems to stop and stare in awe when they see you two together, even other idols are guilty of this.

adding to the concept of you being two ethereal beings ruling this entire universe, nothing ever seems to top your collaborations with each other. during the span of your friendship you have collaborated so many times. music is your love language, you always take the time to communicate your deepest feelings with each other through the songs you write. but you don't even stop at just composing songs together, you would gladly delay any of your comebacks if it meant you could release a song together. you really are a perfect pair, her amazing dancing and vocals combined with your powerful stage presence= art.

~friends~ yeji (itzy), wonbin (riize), ningning (aespa), lisa (blackpink), hongjoong (ateez), renjun (nct), changmin (the boyz) and chani (sf9)

~boyfriend~ minghao (svt) 💜💜

this was so unexpected, but it felt right. though you had been in the idol game for a while you honestly weren't counting on, or knew that you would even end up dating someone. you had a one track mind that was fully set on performing, you didn't think you would ever be swayed and thrown off by cupid. but then you met minghao.

you had known of seventeen but you never really had anything to do with them. they were just another group in the grand scheme of things, even when you met them you felt very reserved. it's not like a specific person ever caught your eye until one fateful day.

it was like any other day, besides the fact that you nixve had made it to the mama stage and were set to perform that night. once you had arrived it was hectic, the hallways bustling with what was practically multiple conga lines of idols trying to get god knows where. that's probably why you didn't notice the most extreme sign of flirting coming from minghao of all people.

to your credit you weren't paying attention to seventeen or minghao, but you had seen his hand in a cast on some of their recent performances so it was safe to assume he still had a hand injury. you were already in a rush and you were starting to overthink the performance you had ahead of you. you were so self-absorbed at this moment that you didn't realise anything odd about what happened.

you looked down for a split second, which was enough time for you to collide with someone. looking up you were eye to eye with minghao. muttering a quick sorry you were about to walk away before you were stopped again "ah, i was looking for you could you please help me?" expecting joshua or jun to magically pop up behind you you waited.

it took about a minute or so to realise that minghao was speaking to you. "pardon?" "i was wondering if you could help me out, i can't tie my robe." one of his hands was still nestled in the satin pocket of the robe so you couldn't see that his hand was actually fine. again acting on the knowledge that he had hurt his hand you gripped the robe, pulling him closer as you tied it for him. you intended to say goodbye and part for the night, that was until you looked up and were met with minghao looking down at you, an odd look plastered onto his face, you couldn't believe it, he couldn't be admiring you right?

once you finally pulled away you awkwardly said goodbye and scurried off. later that night you were backstage staring at the lcd screen murmuring something like "that asshole" as you saw him pull his hand, his perfectly healed hand out of his pocket when it was his line.

maybe it was deceit, but despite being embarrassed you were also enamoured by this strange guy who finessed you into giving him the time of day. ever since then whenever you saw him around you always spoke to him, this silent mastermind won your heart over, made you go absolutely crazy for him. so much so that you were the one to ask him out after a few months.

with a knowing grin minghao looked down at you, with that look of admiration that he wore during mama, his melodious voice charming you even more "I've been waiting for you to ask me out, I just thought you were too scared to do it." ~crushing on you~ beomgyu (txt) 💜💜

okay strap in for this one, would you believe this wasn't just a senseless crush? your relationship with beomgyu is complex and there are still blurred lines between you so you can't blame him for still harbouring a huge crush on you despite you dating minghao.

the chaos that ensued started with something so incredibly simple: a dance challenge. in the more recent days of nixve's career nixve had become quite popular, their concepts were great and their dances were perfect for dance challenges. now, you didn't really like the idea of pumping out dance challenges like your other members so you never had a long list of idols you would regularly dance with. and since the content including you was sparse your company organised a dance challenge video with a member from a group who had a comeback a couple of weeks after yours. as you can guess that member was beomgyu.

it was supposed to be an easy in and out job, you dance to his song, he dances to your song and you all go home. what you didn't know was that while you were focused on meeting your content quota you had caught the attention of the cheeky guy.

now lets be completely honest, that first day he was checking you out, you looked so good in a crop top and baggy jeans. he really was out here appreciating how good you looked, but ever since your first dance challenge both cube and big hit seemed to shove the two of you together whenever comeback season came.

each comeback you were hotter, he really thought you were the sexiest person he had ever seen. he was a slave to the fantasy of having a grunge girlfriend, his inner emo boy was screaming for this to happen. but it didn't. while he had the confidence he also didn't know how to ask you on a date, somehow his attempt at getting you to both hangout morphed into a very eventful fwb relationship.

this arrangement was actually very long-lived until the circumstances started to change, you both became way more busy due to the success of both groups and before he knew it you stopped meeting up with him which was followed by him discovering that you were in a happy relationship with minghao.

this obviously stung like hell since he knew minghao quite well, but what's done is done. even though what happened between you was messy, confusing and a moment of pure sexual passion he still has a real crush on you. he just wishes he would have expressed himself better when he asked for you two to hang out.

~other idols crushing on you~ taeyong (nct), baekseung (epex), riwoo (boynextdoor), seoho (oneus), wonjun (e'last) and sanha (astro).

~extra info~

you were the first member of nixve to have a solo debut where you were able to fully show just how immaculate your rap verses were.

despite the public not knowing that you are dating minghao, you're often credited with co-writing some of seventeens songs.

~scandals~

you received huge backlash after people dug up proof of you and beomgyu being very close in the past which included photos and videos of you two hanging out and supposed text messages between the two of you where you were alluding to a sexual relationship of sorts.

this one didn't turn into full blown scandal but you were accused of putting an act on for the camera and the reality of it was that you were a huge conceited bitch and difficult to work with- side note you definitely weren't.

[lilac-hecox]

How do we feel about a single dad!Anthony au? I was talking to @littlebitofglue about one last night. Like pretty close to canon universe, except while in his 20's Anthony has a daughter, the mom not really wanting to be in the picture and she and Anthony hadn't been in a serious relationship, it was kind of an oopsie baby thing?

So now he's like 40 with a fifteen or sixteen year old daughter. Ian was there for her birth and was like the fourth person to hold her even though he kept telling Anthony that he was scared he was going to drop her. When she's older she calls him 'uncle Ian'.

It could go two ways where it follows canon and Anthony still leaves Smosh while it is under Defy. He makes some very light family vlogging content like interviewing his kid and including her in experimental sketch stuff because he is on his own and trying to take care of her and build a new channel and he knows people click on that kind of stuff.

OR because he has a kid maybe Anthony is less hesitant to actually leave the comfort and stability of Defy era Smosh. He still isn't happy and his and Ian's friendship is strained.

Additionally, if he does leave then there is a six year period where Ian doesn't really see Anthony or his kid and then when they reunite she doesn't really remember him or she often questions Anthony and tells him that she misses her uncle Ian.

Then in her teenage years she lowkey encourages Anthony to let himself be happy and he is like, "How?"

And she is like, "With uncle Ian??"

[crimson-kas]

New vlog up! Join me as I walk you through July: setting up my journal for the month, visiting bookstores and an art museum, creating a charm chain for my FiloFax, and rambling about books, planners, journals, and my FiloFax / rings experimentation. 🫣

[blindrapture]

I'm still sick. though that is fading.

can't sleep. brain racing.

I guess I've got some more rapture stuff to say. because I feel like I've been doing a great job at talking about the ways Act 1 is Early and Different from this mysterious other place that the story goes, I've been doing a great job at talking soberly about it, not really standing behind it. and I need to put some confidence behind it.

because there is, absolutely, a part of me that is keeping Act 1 the way it is because I like it this way.

Act 1 is great because it is an entire-ass novel's worth of words that do not read like any fucking novel, it doesn't even read like some classic experimental novel, it doesn't read like stream-of-conscious, it definitely doesn't read like Ulysses (I was still a good three or four years out from when I read that). it reads more like... social media. one person's feed. that also wasn't intentional, but that is what it amounts to. like a person's social media feed, Act 1 serves to keep you updated on what's going on with Jordan, and in the process, Act 1 exposes you to Jordan and gets you.... "familiar with" Jordan. it also exposes you to The Things That Are Happening, and gets your brain working with Imagining it and with Keeping Track. one of Jordan's jobs, as the narrator of this story, is to help you with that, to imagine and reword things himself, and to try to keep track of some things himself. simple act of literary peristalsis, gets your brain.. moving along a path.

I say that Act 1 gets you "familiar with" Jordan because, even though we have already been through some trauma with him, and even though he has been embarrassingly open with his journal, we still don't actually know that much about him, or why he does what he does. frankly, the fact that I didn't just utterly fill the story, from word 1, with full in-depth Talking About Myself.. is the most fundamental surprise to me in hindsight, and is the reason I have always believed in this story. I was always Doing Something with it. even when I did not actually have solid plans.

Act 1 was written without solid plans for the future. I knew the story would continue with logs for each day, I knew it would go until October 21st. I did actually know how each arc of Act 1 would go, because I was basing the structure of Act 1 off of my actual summer, condensed into a June. 2011 was kind of an incredibly ambitious year for me, and if I explained it all to you here, you... wouldn't believe it, and I'd retraumatize myself anyway. but I wrote it into rapture because I was trying to will it into.. working out. so. so I knew how blackpool would go. I knew how spain would go. and I knew what would come at the end of this act, which we won't get to for another... 20 days. and I knew about the Harlequin. I had that worked out.

the thing. about the Harlequin. is that even this, even the original draft which was uncensored, was me holding back. I had originally, in fucking April, early May of 2011, been planning on buying a doll and making a horror vlog, starring myself and a doll. the doll would have been called "Harlequin." this would have been movement 3 of Jordan Eats Normally Now. I want that to sink in. especially for those who know what's going to happen in the story. the Harlequin, as my portrayal of the Fear Mythos's Wooden Girl, in a twisted relationship with My Fucking Self-Insert, was going to be filmed. and thankfully I decided against doing that. but instead I incorporated it into rapture, fleshing out the ideas I had and giving them a chance to develop into.. some interesting stuff. and when I was in spain, in real life, I had a nightmare about the Harlequin, and I woke up and drew her face from my dream, and I sent that drawing to my artist friend RealaChao and talked about the Harlequin, where this was coming from. and I continued to reason out why this plot had to happen the way it does.

this is all to say. of all things in rapture, the Harlequin is the closest thing to a genuine fucking poetic idea that I was able to conceive at age 16. I was not writing my fantasies out for a public audience, but I was willing to let people believe it was as cynical as that. because this story was... working. it was working far better than Jordan Eats had been. ideas were popping, they were practically forming out of each other, even the format was giving me ideas. and if the story was working, that meant I could feel confident about it. and if I could feel confident about it, that means I could try to let it stand on its own, I could believe that it's possible for people to just read it and get it. the Harlequin is not me writing my fantasies out. the Harlequin is "what if this thing I thought I wanted... hurt?" it's a fear. and it's a fear on top of being quite a metafictional horror, but that brings us back to Jordan himself.

Jordan, as a Character, makes rapture uncomfortable to read. he makes it more and more uncomfortable the more and more genuine he reads as. because Jordan is a self-insert. goddammit, I saw him as the self-insert, the one to humble any other author who wanted to piss around with the thought. Jordan is a self-insert for a lot of reasons, and I mean a lot of reasons. this was another thing I did, once, have an opportunity to change. after the story was first concluded and I got to revise the whole thing for a.. either a PDF release or the First Edition book release, I did consider changing Jordan's name. I told my editor friend, slendyslayer, about this, I talked through it with them, because of course I fucking understand how it looks, how it feels as any given reader to read this fucking self-insert. (I would have called him Rael.) but, I decided against it. I stood by it. because he would have still been a fucking self-insert, just hiding behind a different fucking name. and the point of Jordan is he is the self-insert, he is how you do a fucking self-insert. you own it. it's just honest.

but. right. metafictional horror. I say rapture is a metafictional horror because. I mean, don't you feel it? just by reading it? don't you feel that question in the back of your head? "should I be reading this? am I, like, allowed to read this?" "aren't these some real person's actual, like. private thoughts? private urges?" would you die of embarrassment if it was your teenage urges? placed there on the screen, or in the pages of a book, for posterity? that is horror.

(there are... ways to do that part badly. and the original draft of rapture did.. some of it... very badly. and I got, rightfully, chewed out for that. and rapture's not like that anymore. and it never will be. that was my own horror. but the Jordan stuff? nah, you're allowed to read that. I promise.)

it's also not, like, all horror all the time, because I'm a blasphemous son of a bitch who doesn't believe in horror's right to being a genre. I believe in stories' rights to be scary at parts, but if a story is all scary all the time then it's just a mean-spirited joke on the audience. so. Jordan is meant to make you feel uncomfortable, but then you're supposed to sit with it, and rapture is a long enough story that it gives you plenty of time to sit with it. you become familiar with your discomfort, you identify your discomfort, you come to terms with your discomfort. stage 1 of the reader's intended arc with rapture is "oh my god, I'm staring into the face of the mortifying ordeal of being known." stage 2 is "huh. so that's what it means. those are the implications of being known, that is what's on the other side of the mortification."

yes, I honestly did intend this shit even at age 16. because this wasn't my first self-insert. and neither was Jordan Eats. I had been writing self-inserts for years. and I would continue to, for years. I still write self-inserts. and I am always thinking about why.

so. act 1 is here to get you familiar with Jordan. you have to get past the self-insert part, and you need a lot of time to get past that. you are free to formulate ideas on Jordan as a character. I earnestly hope readers do. I want to see where people are proven right and proven wrong. engaging with the story will pay off. act 1 is likewise here to get you familiar with Donnie.

Donnie is not a self-insert. Donnie is not even based on a real person. Donnie is a.. few things. I don't know that I will get into the Donnie Depths right now. but I will just throw out there, as trivia, that I wrote Donnie into the story because of Stephen King. in 2010 I read Stephen King's Cell. and I really, really dug it. frankly, a lot of the vibes of Act 1 were fueled by admiration of Stephen King. Cell is about a rather modern apocalypse. and the dude protagonist traveled with this... girl... woman?? girl??? can't remember, probably girl, but I was 15-16, she was around my age at least, so I had a crush on her. and I don't actually think I'd written a girl protagonist before (not one who wasn't a chao, or a literal clone of the male protagonist, or both). but something in me said that Rapture would be more interesting if I added a Donnie. it was.

the thing. the conclusion. the thing is. that act 1 is great because it exists, against all odds. it kept impressing me, because I didn't really think I had it in me to come up with, let alone sustain, a story of this sort. even back in 2011, I would finish a log then look over it and feel like I didn't even write the damn thing, like I'm just reading it along with everyone else. y'know what my biggest claim to fame was, at 16 years old? it was Dark Chao Adventures. 400,000 words of niche fucking Sonic fanfic that wasn't about Sonic, and kept inventing its own format because I wrote it from age 10, and which I primarily wrote without an audience yet remembering the time I was 12 and somehow did have a fanbase of other 12-year-olds on the internet. a story that, I assert, only got better when all the fans moved on with their lives and I was just writing for myself. this is to say. I had a weird relationship with writing. (and I had a weird relationship with writing even before that! but that's a different tangent.) I knew I could do.... something? but my guess was as good as anyone else's when it came to what the finished product would look like. Act 1 is the finished product. but it's also, like, the beginning of a long story. Act 1 is where you get to see the story in the active process of finalizing itself. Act 1 is where the very concept of a self-insert is the subject that must be resolved before we can move onto later acts. Act 1... could probably also have been called "Book 1," all things considered. it is longer than a lot of novels, by itself. Act 1 will end on July 4th. even if you skip the Disclaimer logs, you'll want to tune back in for July. I promise.

alright.

that was the sort of ramble I'd been needing to do.

hello, readers. old and new. active and lurking.

ask me anything. or ask yourself.. anything. read!

I'm probably gonna set up masterposts for all these Bonus rambles at a later date.

see you tomorrow for the June 10th log.

god I wanna sleep.

[earl-grey-by-the-lake]

Random Glitch Trio Headcanons

(aka i'm in my idw sonic brainrot era and remembered i have a tumblr to dump stuff in)

Starline

• Really into long baths (the type with candles and rose petals everywhere)

• Would be obsessed with Lush bath bombs if they existed in Sonic's world

• Acts really pretentious about music, books, films, etc., only claiming to like highly obscure and experimental stuff (bonus points if it's technically complex). While he does genuinely like this stuff, he's also a fan of more 'popular' music like disney songs (or would be if they existed in Sonic's world), musicals and 80s synth.

• I could weirdly see him being into old detective novels/movies, e.g.- Poirot

• He doesn't like science fiction because it tends to be wildly inaccurate

• Spends hours daily doing his hair and makeup even if he knows he's about to get into a fight which will inevitably mess it up again (if he's going to get his hands dirty he might as well look good doing it)

• Had an emo phase in his undergrad years, refuses to talk about it

• Claims to strongly dislike cursing (it's vulgar and juvenile) but swears like a sailor when he's angry or drunk (I stole this one off the Bumblekast but come on)

• Occasionally gets drunk (he normally drinks wine because it's classy but switches to whiskey when he's in a bad mood) and makes extremely unhinged vlogs ranting about stuff, mainly Eggman (e.g.- why doesn't he notice me after everything I've done for him, why does he love his robots more than me, what does Metal Sonic have that I don't, etc...) This happened a lot during their divorce arc

• His ideal date would be a classic romantic candlelit dinner, bonus points if there is singing involved. However there is absolutely no one who could meet his impossible standards for a romantic partner except maybe Eggman and even then he's on thin ice

• Probably a good dancer

• Feels a sense of superiority over extremely 'chaotic' individuals (e.g.- Eggman, Orbot and Cubot, Rough and Tumble, his adopted children), hence why he tends to gravitate towards them. He has a habit of trying to correct and fix other people to show off how put together he is (spoiler alert: he is not put together whatsoever)

• Hopelessly addicted to caffeine

Surge

• Into shounen manga

• Has tried vaping before for the sole purpose of pissing off Starline

• Likes J-rock, metalcore and punk music

• Not really into movies or books because they're long and boring. Her attention span is like 5 minutes max, hence why she prefers comics and manga

• If she was forced to watch a movie, she'd go for a really over the top silly horror movie. she's easily scared by psychological horror/anything with a lot of jumpscares though (not that she would admit it in a million years)

• Likes spicy food and sushi

• Has shoplifted before and will do it again

• Commits arson on a regular basis, Kit frequently depletes his water reservoir trying to put out the fires before Starline finds out

• Would shop at Hot Topic

• Her ideal date would be something super energetic like paintball or laser tag. She would then proceed to get excessively competitive (read: violent) and scare off any potential suitors.

• Starline once took her and Kit to a Disneyland equivalent for 'family bonding'. She used her super speed to cut the lines, made a rollercoaster go faster with her electric powers (because it was too slow- boring!) causing it to derail and almost murder the several children unfortunate enough to be on the ride with her, and set fire to at least one food stand. All three of them are now banned for life.

• She would probably hang out with the Babylon Rogues from time to time

• Unlike Starline and Kit she is a morning person, and is extra loud and obnoxious around them at this time of day just to be an asshole (Kit doesn't mind though)

Kit

• Likes reading technical manuals/long academic texts (aka Surge's worst nightmare)

• Really into horror, especially psychological and body horror (he would really like Junji Ito manga), but doesn't get to watch horror movies much because Surge doesn't like them

• He doesn't like music that much, if he had to listen to something he would prefer white noise because he finds the repetitive sound comforting

• Doesn't really have any food preferences but he likes coffee

• Secretly returns the stuff Surge shoplifts because he feels guilty

• Likes tinkering with bits of tech in his free time

• On the aforementioned 'family bonding' trip, Kit almost murdered the employees of a haunted house because they startled Surge (not that she would ever admit it), contributing to the lifelong ban

• Sometimes stays up all night reading or working on a project, he always looks tired during the day because he doesn't get much sleep

• His ideal date would be a non-existent one because he can't be away from Surge for more than 5 minutes without feeling anxious (also he's like 8). However he would probably stalk Surge on her date and try to sabotage it because he doesn't trust the other person to treat her right

• Is going to have an emo phase in a few years' time, following in the footsteps of his father (ik he's already emo but I mean like he'll start getting more into the music and fashion)

• Is actually capable of being pretty snarky but is too shy to say most of it out loud (he mocks Starline relentlessly in his head though)

[f-ngrl]

Under Seongsu Bridge

... is a Korean music crew. Their name refers to Seongsu bridge in Seongsu-dong, which is the neighborhood they’re from. They have 6 members, are part of FLOCC and have Paloalto (who also lives in the area) as their biggest supporter. They released a collab album in 2021 which is hiphop and r&b (song recs at the bottom of the post).

It is said that they met in middle school where 365lit was bullied by the other members and then they became friends (?) - however, the crew wasn’t founded until 2019.

From left to right: 356lit, BIRTHDAYCAKEiii, Jupiter Kim, Ray Shin, web., toigo

ig

They have a crew youtube channel where they post vlogs and MVs. If you spreak Korean, you can watch the vlogs and find out more about them.

_______________________________________________

365LIT

김민성 (Kim Min-seong) | 1998.04.09 | ig, soundcloud

he is a rapper and his style is energetic rap/hiphop

he participated in smtm 9 and 10

he has many connections and friends in khh and features often with other rappers

jupiter kim is his older brother

song example

BIRTHDAYCAKEiii

이정빈 (Lee Jung-bin) | ig, soundcloud

his music style is indie pop and indie rock, example mv

he mostly works with the other crew members or alone

Jupiter Kim

김목성 (Kim Mok-sung) | 1996.07.10 | ig, soundcloud, youtube

(on the right in the photo - left is 365lit)

he is a rapper, singer (?) and producer

he recently changed his rap name. his old name was (just) jupiter

he does different styles, you could call it an experimental/artsy kind of hiphop?

he was briefly on smtm9

apart from the crew members, he often works with zene the zilla

he was in the military 2021-2022 and missed dearly esp. by 365lit

365lit is his younger brother

song example

Ray Shin

신준현 (Shin Joon-hyun) | 1998.12.14 | ig

he is a rapper

he is relatively new as a solo artist

he released his first EP “Denim Dream” 5 months ago and only collaborated with crew members on it

song example

web.

ig, (no info? :()

he is a singer and his songs are r&b and ballad style

he usually works with the other crew members only

he has quite a few MVs and visualizers on usb’s yt channel, example

toigo (토이고)

주병우 (Joo Byung-woo) | 1998.07.24 | ig, soundcloud, twitter

he is a rapper, his style is active & fast hiphop, example

it’s very hard to find him not wearing a hat

he’s a bit of a comedian and very active on twitter

he was on smtm9, 10, and 11 and like 365lit is relatively active in the khh scene

_______________________________________________ 

The crew will release their new collab album “UNDER SEONGSU BRIDGE II” in May. The song “Seongsu Freestyle” by Jupiter Kim, toigo, 365lit was already pre-released recently.

If you don���t know where to start, here 2 song recs: