#expect 9 parts for now
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got a tablet recently so now i can draw on the go >:-)
#rare instance where i draw dhes instead of kel…#(i did actually draw kel first but i didn’t really like it so…)#officially the tablet is for school but….#the added bonus is i can use it for drawing too so#yay :-)#still not entirely sure how to use procreate yet but i am figuring it out#i’m very much used to krita#mostly i’ve just been trying to find brushes i like#n e way. school is going ok.#the work load is not as bad & overwhelming as i was expecting tbh#the worst part is honestly having to go back & forth to campus everyday#i am not a guy who leaves his house much#this is very different for me#& the waking up early thing…. i get tired at like 9 pm now. ridiculous.#but yea! hopefully i’ll get to work on some edits soon. we’ll see#rainyrambles#artwip#kinda
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I'm probably the only one who braves enough to come to the surface and ask this in public, but I have to. For the sake of my fellow Prihine-romancers.
"More Prihine content, when?"
Idk man, she's dead in a lot of people's playthroughs so it's not like I can really engineer a ton of more content for her!! 😭
#Shepherds of Haven#she'll make an appearance in chapter 9 though!#*grumbling begrudgingly*#I never planned for her to have such a big part in the story at all to be honest lol!#but I didn't expect Caine or Chandry to either...#this is how scope creep happens haha!!#anyway yes a little scene in chapter 9 makes sense for her but that's all I'll concede to for now!#Prihine#Prihine Naveen
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Finally brought miss Thistle home a week ago! She’s a handful and she loves her little laundry basket
#we didn’t expect her to love the laundry basket so much but it’s hers now#she’s been overall great and good with her crate#she’s sleeping through the night for the most part#always wakes up to pee around 6am but then she’ll sleep till 9#not scared of anything#she’s great with loud noises#new people#cars#bikes#etc#however#she DOES NOT like Ro’s mother#to be fair neither do we Lmao#little miss thistle#dogblr#australian shepherd#aussie puppy#puppy#blue merle#9 weeks
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Got a copper IUD this morning, the procedure was not too bad itself thankfully
however, my sister greatly overestimated how similar we are when it come to things involving the uterus.
She got hers in and went to a concert, was mostly fine.
She forgets that my normal period cramps have me barely functional for a couple days.
I am in so much pain, I took Ibuprofen not that long ago. It also cannot decide if it wants to be back cramps, or normal ones.
But I am at work, and functional for the most part, so that's a good thing. And now I don't have to worry about pregnancy for 10 years!
This was never an issue I actually thought I'd have to think about lol
#Crowspiracy Caws#I had been single for 7 years#not sexually active for closer to 9#and my last partner did not have the parts that risked pregnancy#never expected to date a cis man#figured dating an amab trans person of any stripe was possible#but also figured we wouldn't be particularly sexually active#cuz up till recently we thought we were just plain asexual and sex neutral#Yeaaah#turns out we're heavily Demi(need not just emotional connection but a romantic one)#but also very very much into sex when that attraction occurs#our boyfriend is very hot and now I understand more of the comments people make about hot actors and stuff
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god help me i'm going insane about dickson xenoblade again
#this is what i get for thinking about lord of the rings too hard this week (specifically denethor / gríma / saruman and the like)#thinking about the way anthony may delivered “when will you learn you HAVE no future?”#he thinks shulk is fully DEAD at that point. he thinks HE killed him. which he very much meant to. but now that the kid is no longer there#now that the terrible future he's been preparing for and actively working to bring about has in fact come about#i don't know that dickson really cared anymore. he played his part he did the deed expected and he did it unquestioningly. So What Now?#well. now nothing. now the world that he spent so long biding his time in; so long getting enmeshed in (even for nefarious purposes)#is about to end; is about to be gone forever.#sure zanza will probably just create another world and maybe he (dickson) will have Even More Power in the new one#(though that's not a given! he doesn't know for SURE his lord and god will keep his promise!)#but like. what the hell does he care at this point#dickson SAYS he wants power but i suspect that long long ago what the giant dickson really wanted was SURVIVAL.#we never get to know just how he became a disciple or what the giant civilization looked like in its heyday or how it ended#but in MY headcanon dickson saw that some kind of destruction coming and he wanted Out#and maybe he hated his peers and figured any power and prestige that came from this bargain was just a bonus#i think he thought of himself as a saruman type: powerful; remote; far above the petty troubles of mortals (even the long-lived high entia)#but i have always headcanoned that by his later days (i.e. when he started engaging w/colony 9; machina village; etc. in earnest)#he committed too hard to the bit and started “going native” as it were; started to give a shit in ways that he would never dare admit#maybe not as much of a shit as; you know; a regular guy would. but more than an immortal disciple and horseman of the apocalypse should.#and all the time knowing that all the world he'd seen would soon be gone#maybe everyone else can get fucked. but shulk had to die too. and that's what their god MADE them to do.#he can't allow himself to care or to hope for another option bc in his mind it's already over; decided; that's it#what else can you do in the face of ultimate power but bow to it and take whatever scraps may fall to an obedient servant?#“you have no future” nor does he except that shulk came back. except that the peoples of bionis/mechonis just wouldn't accept Fate.#and in some final rebellious corner of his mind he starts putting eggs in shulk's basket. “if they can't even defeat telethia they won't#stand a chance against me (or zanza)” so let's see if they CAN. oh they did? how about a dragon? oh fuck they defeated the dragon too?#well fuck. maybe there WAS another option all along. but will/can they stand against me; the final disciple? oh they can??#guess i'll die then bc i'm not looking THAT in the face. i am NOT unpacking my cowardice/failure/lack of vision after all these years.#good luck with that tho <3 you're welcome for the training btw. where i'm going i don't have to see your trauma assuming you live that long.#dickson#xenoblade
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It is so fucking dire. My dream. Of Summer Sharena. Over. Sniped. By my most hated banner of all fucking time. I have so many problems. This is going to be torture. Crafted for me, specifically. She is undeniably adorable. A duo w Veronica is undeniably adorable. This is like a Saw trap to me. I'm dying in a fucking Saw trap right now.
#dude.......... i have so much emotional baggage i am not even gonna pretend i don't.#this is psychological horror to me. this is torture to me. and the worst part is is. she's adorable. and i love her.#LIKE..... that really is the worst fucking part. well no actually the worst part is that it came to this in the first place.#i'm gonna throw up. i'm gonna die. i'm gonna lock myself in the bathroom. i'm gonna cry.#literally this is my 9/11. i'm not kidding#literally like what can i say without saying way too fucking much. i was severely traumatized by my upbringing#andnthe expectations communicated to me directly/indirectly and the rest i just filled in the blanks and took it upon myself?#that everyone thinks i'm insane bc they never said that? even though like. that was clearly communicated to me. somehow.#knowing i'll never be that? i'll never be what anyone wanted? knowing that nobody wants me? refusing to be wanted?#bro.#everybody get divorced right fucking now. for mw#for me.
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i have never met a white cis man in my life who has made interesting art or who has had worthwhile opinions on film. i'm thinking back to every time i have been in a film space and they were consistently the least pleasant people to be around. it was like a numbers game: how many films have you seen? how many films do you watch a week? the one time i volunteered at a film festival, the guy i worked with quizzed me on the oscars. they just don't have the minds of artists to me idk
#i am just really in my hating cis (white) men bag right now LMAO like they are empty ppl sorry#'people'#and i say in my life bc there are famous cis men whose work i adore#like i'm a huge cronenhead i love the way he views the world#well. he thinks he's cis anyway. (joke)#but for the most part cis (white) dudes have to prove their humanity to me atp 😭#and if one tells me to watch his film i expect 9/10 it's gonna be pretentious dogshit#if they even actually MAKE films#which these types of dudes usually dont
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LOSING MY MIND OVER A TLLR VAMPIRE DEW AU IVE BEEN DEVELOPING.. THE BRAINROT IS UNREAL
#YOU GUYS DONT UNDERSTAND#i’m so not normal about this#took a break from writing chapter 9 to write that au#i was planning for it to be a oneshot but now i’m too attached so it might be 2 or 3 parts#BUT GUYS#VAMPIRE DEW#IM SOOO EXCITED ABOUT IT#i’ll make more aus in the future also#i’ll def make a vampire anton au but that won’t be for a while cuz spoilers#gonna post art soon too#but yeah expect an au chapter in the next few days#and then chapter 9 after that#tllr au#vampire dew au#wyrms says stuff
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a doc of omega yamo being a nuisance, you say?
well…
#the doc sure does exist 🤷#me waiting to post this until i had compiled all the tags into the doc so it wasn’t just the empty doc i started with good intentions#that just said ‘yowling’#and then me not even doing that 😭 what’s in the doc right now? absolutely unhinged shit from ANOTHER yamo post. why#liv in the replies#anon i love you so much. this is the correct method to get me to do things (be interested) (bully me a little) (i have to write FOR someone)#maybe if i actually write something for omega yamo being a nuisance i will post snippets#and not have to create elaborate rules about posting them. also i keep telling myself it helps to be like. home & functioning to write#& maybe if i chilled the fuck out a little bit i would have the time to do fun things i like but i feel like i have been saying#‘ok once i get through this [semester/summer/working/class/season]’ for like. three years now but also i don’t feel like i have stopped ever#in my life so that may also be part of the issue. anyway! in the mindset now that i have to make time for things that bring me joy/creative#because otherwise there will never be time#but also telling myself that like. i work seven days a week 8.5-9 hours a day plus commute/classwork so it’s ok to only be able to come home#& do Adult Tasks & write my coursework requirements & ALSO i’m doing my fucking applications which i really really need to do & should take#priority & i am going to need to work very hard to do because. i don’t want to do them :)#so!!!! this is your daily tag dump on a post which it is not relevant to (on brand for me)#but also the point was to say thank you i love you please have 0 expectations because i don’t want to disappoint you#but i love your encouragement and am not taking it to be any pressure!! i just have to preface bc i am like this
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and so Fresh Season comes to a close…
wow what an era, i’ll miss it a little i had a really great time :3
hope everyone had fun these past 3 months, i wish you the best for this update!!!
question of the day:
what was your favorite part of Fresh Season?
#splatoon 3#splatoon#fresh season#man there are a lot of options#cryptidfest and zeldafest were so much fun they were really unique#horrorboros!!!!! i love them#huge fan of um’ami ruins it’s one of my favorite stages now#the kraken royale reveal was insane i never expected it in my entire life#the catalog stuff was cool too i liked it#oh and manta maria!!!!! love that stage too#probably my favorite part was playing a ton with my friends recently which we haven’t really done a lot in the past 9 months#i like playing solo a lot but hanging out with them is just a delight :)
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Hard to believe it has now been 5 months since I published the first chapter of my first multi-chapter fic ever, The Planets, Op. 32 (aka Planets). Coincidentally, it has arrived at 200 hits! I never thought that something as niche as this would be enjoyed by more than a couple of people at the most, but the support I’ve had in writing this has meant so much. It’s hard to believe there is now only one chapter left… I’m not sure when it will arrive, but I hope it will be the perfect ending. String quartet Vilu/Ludmi/Naty/León you will always be famous…
#not to spoil too much but if you haven’t read…#it takes a little time to build up but the opening chapters are important for the later contrast! I’ve learned to appreciate them more now#some random musings…#it was always a ludmi-centric fic and I knew there was gonna be luty but I was not expecting to love writing the ludletta so much#sisters ever I had SO much fun with them#Diego having such a role was also not something I expected but I did more or less incorporate the S2 in part 1 so#it should have been expected#anyway... 🥺 thanks y'all#tune in to chapter 10 which will certainly have something for everyone#idk when though lol#hard to believe it has been a month since 9 😃#fic: planets#fic: the planets#violetta#violetta castillo#ludmila ferro#natalia vidal
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I usually don’t use this website to talk about the global issues, but I do want to remind people that the full-scale russian invasion in Ukraine is still happening. today is the 9 month anniversary. the war is ongoing. people are suffering. the russians are targeting infrastructure, electricity shortages are happening all the time. and it’s winter and the heating is of utmost importance. there are also regularly large missile strikes where the air defence just can’t stop all of the missiles, and some of them hit civilian buildings. a day ago a missile hit a maternity ward, a newborn baby died. there are so so many stories of innocent people dying, it has been 9 months of non-stop tragedy.
many of my friends left ukraine in march and are staying in different european countries. but we still have relatives and friends who stayed, and are trying to continue their lifes as much as they can, even though they had to move to the western part of the country. the sooner russia is defeated the sooner it will be over. please, do help ukraine as much as you can. please support us publicly, and with a donation, if you can afford it. but please do speak up for us. i know people got “tired of the war”, but ignoring it will not stop it.
we do not ask for NATO to send soldiers, but we ask for weapons and we ask for support. if russia wins, they will not stop here. same as they didn’t stop with crimea in 2014. even if you do not really want to think about ukraine or its people much, the war will come to the rest of europe, and in a way it has from the very beginning.
#ukraine#personal#i've also been quite disappointed with some of the left online circles over these 9 months#i think chomsky was one of the most obvious examples#just because US did bad things does not mean other countries are perfect and can never be imperialistic#the world is not black and white#russian empire has done terrible things and the soviet union has done and now the russian federation is doing it#we are talking about russia right now because it is the one waging a war#and i don't know about you but i had seen a LOT about US sins and crimes over the years#it is not a secret topic that nobody mentions people are aware about that!#we don't always have to do whataboutism#russia does it enough already#and the west is quite knowledgeable about all the bad things we attribute to US while seemingly having no idea about russia#sometimes you just really have to listen to local people first#you can not know everything in the world#nobody expects you to#but the correct things is to be open to new information and other people experiences#like ask the people from the baltic countries about their history with russia and how they got to be a part of the soviet union#it's not a nice story
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#one of your friends having a kid really dies make you go wtf because like#that's a person you love and they decided they were going to make A Whole New Person from whole cloth#and now#there's a little guy here#and i know this all sound completely ridiculous and obvious but#HE'S GONNA BE A WHOLE PERSON#he's gonna be a whole person and how AMAZING is that like he didn't exist 9 months ago and now he's here#and he has a name and a star chart and a cute little boopable nose#and i am in love with the little bastard in a way i did not expect to be#part if the novelty here is a byproduct of me being the youngest and never have little cousins or siblings#and this is the first person im really close to who's had a baby#but oh jeez he's so perfect and new and i want nothing more than for him to have a gentle experience in the world#i want to be a good part of his life
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tfw you're being extremely triggered by an innocuous thing that a mutual keeps reblogging but it's exactly the sort of shit that you can't reasonably ask another person to tag for
#where's that tw eggs comic. I could use that right about now#except for fucking ferrets#I don't expect ppl to tag their cute animal videos but holy fucking shit am I having a Bad Time#just saw a video of three of them that looked exactly like ours that were extremely ********* *** ******* *** *** ****** ***** *** *** ****#***** **** ** ** **** ****** *** ** ******** **** *** *** ** **** **** ******** *********#that's like. a LOT of animal neglect to be triggered over lmao. not to mention the rats. the mice. the Guinea pig. the intentionally killed#chameleon. I'm having a bad time at t he feeling s conference hahaha#posting abt this stuff on my non system blog always really weird but I've been trying to make us acknowledge the system + trauma in spaces#not entirely dedicated to that. bc those parts of me shouldn't have to be hidden away for everyone's comfort. but it's uncomfortable (for#now) to do so#longest deep sigh ever [9 hour dissociation remix]
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I never knew switching majors could feel this liberating…
#victoria.collected miscellany#for context I just switched from fuckass accounting to creative writing#the application still has to be approved but I’m dead set on it now#I literally cannot wait#I can’t believe I’m saying this but I actually miss writing essays and papers for class#as tedious as they are they’re better to spreadsheets which has been my entire life this semester#every time I imagine myself sitting in front of spreadsheets 9-5 for the rest of my life in an office part of my soul dies#I’m too whimsical for office work#my ass NEEDS to be involved in the creative arts/humanities somehow#why not make a living off it as well#I also don’t give two shits abt money either#as long as I can support myself#yes I want to become a published author#expect an uptick in my writing quality and maybe a change in style as I finally start taking classes
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Doing this because it makes me happy •Ꮂ•. Im making it difficult on all of you though.
1 note- I'll go drink water
10 notes - I'll set alarms to actually care for myself
50 notes - set up a daily productivity system so I stop wasting my time doing nothing.
100 notes - ask my friends to help me buy a skirt
500 notes - get a bra & a whole bunch of other affirming clothing !!!
1k - tell my dad that my gf is also trans
2.5k - ask my dad to address me by my prefferred name & pronouns 1k went pretty poorly, so I dont feel super comfortable making an attempt on this.
5k - try to get therapy/psychologist
10k - girl mode at all times (start actively wearing makeup/clothing/doing voice training around people at all times)
50k - try for HRT (0% chance) (also no guarantee on this one)
Asfgg. It feels surprisingly good to have a bunch of strangers who want me to be happy
I have now set up alarms for eating, waking up, and hygene related stuff. I seriously doubt we get to 500, but this has made me significantly happier •Ꮂ•
Doing some math... 25 notes in 4 hours. 6.25 notes per hour. 8000 hours or 333 days until this hits 50k. Hrt in a year ig.
Um. Wow. Its been a day, and we're almost at 300. Everything 500 & below was supposed to be things I'd do with minimal intervention. But now, we're getting to the scarier stuff. I am very intimidated, but also excited
My gf really badly wanted to be here when I buy some of the clothing, so the skirt will be this week, the rest of the clothing will be when she comes back from vacation
Saying that you're force femming me is so not allowed. This is unfair. You have no right to make me feel the ways Im feelingggg. Stop making me happy.
Welp. I told him about my girlfriend. And things went about as poorly as expected. He said that Im parroting what other people think. Slowly taking little parts of them, and applying them to myself. Specifically, being trans. He didnt even leave it to maybes. He said with certainty that I was copying everyone else. I know 9 trans people total. Only 2 of them are my close friends. Everyone else, Im barely aquaintences with. I should have told him that regardless of whatever theories he has, this has boosted my confidence massively. Slightly less excited for 2.5k notes. At least everything after that is very positive. And at least this lets me talk about my girlfriend for ages. I dont have to say her deadname through gritted teeth. Oh context. He already knows Im trans but was ignoring it.
I GOT A SKIRT!!!!!
Thank all of you so much. At first when I got the skirt, I was pretty intimidated by the idea of showing my legs. I thought everyone will just see me as a man. But there's a degree of confidence you all have given me. Yeah. Im pretty. Yeah, Im beautiful even. Yeah. Its a friggin fantastic skirt. And anyone who thinks otherwise is dumb. Im happy, and thats what matters.
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