#expat family

[sunkissis]

Our Life in Paris: 5 Years Abroad

[blood-starved-beast]

Can we talk about how s2 confirmed that Matilda the Pirate was real?

EDIT:

[sharksandjays]

one thing people dont seem to understand about TCKs is that we…dont have a home.

Because to me, home is always the last place i live. Just when i come to think of it as home, im ripped from it and expected to deal with the grief as ive done every time, in silence.

Yeah, im happy in my new “home” but i miss home. and the home before that. and the home before that. and the home before that. and the home before that. and the home before that. and the home before that.

no matter what, ill always yearn for a home that i will never be able to return to.

[sailforvalinor]

Another thing about Kingdom Keepers is that I have never encountered a series with so many internal plot inconsistencies. And pretty big ones, too. When Jez/Jess is freed from her enchantment, it’s said that Finn realizes she’s Amanda’s sister because they look alike, but in the first chapter of the next book it’s stated that they’re adopted sisters and look nothing alike. Maybeck is said to be the computer guy, but that role is quickly passed to Philby, and I’m not sure that Maybeck ever actually touches a computer for the whole series. Philby is said to sound Aussie or Kiwi, but then four books later it says that he’s British. Finn is said to have a younger sister in book 2, even though she conspicuously never appears or is mentioned in book 1, even in scenes where it makes sense that she would be (e.g., at the dinner table). It’s absolutely ridiculous. Do I still love this series to death. You betcha.

[abroadlifeactually]

The Soft Life or Slightly Cushioned?

I find myself contemplating what the “soft life” really means? During a conversation with one of my good friends from back home she said “girl, just embrace the soft life”. I was stunned for a minute, because nothing about my life at the moment felt soft. Is this the soft life!?!?Because it didn’t feel very soft. It hadn’t even occurred to me that it could be labeled that way.  I was a full-time housewife who’s free time was spent cleaning. I started looking into what exactly constituted a “soft life”. Quickly I realized, that label was being used very generally for vastly different ways of life. For example, there are stay at home moms (SAHM), and there are stay at home moms with nannies and/or housekeepers, and those two moms are living very different lives. At the time I was living the former.

When we first moved into our apartment, I was the main caregiver of Sunbeam, with help from my husband who is a very active dad. I was also solely responsible for all of the house upkeep, luckily my husband likes to cook and grocery shop so I had help with that part. This was the most grueling work I’ve ever done, and I worked in PR in NYC, and at a non-profit with what felt like 60% turnover. There were no breaks, no downtime, and you are plugged in 24 hours a day. The only time to myself was in the bathroom, which had to be quick because the Sunbeam is very active, and eventually that became similar to an open floor plan. I was exhausted and would crash immediately after Sunbeam went down. Nothing about that felt soft to me. There are people out in the world who would love this life, but being a housewife was never my dream. As a former professional woman, I found it much more challenging than any office job I’ve ever had.

After a few months of living in a haze, we finally sought help. A friend advised us to tear numbers off flyers on the grocery store bulletin board to find a nanny/help, which sounded crazy to me. Turns out it’s a legitimate way to find help here, so we did. We also joined facebook groups and put up help wanted posts. Eventually we found our nanny/housekeeper who changed my life. She works part-time so I’m still with Sunbeam most of the time, but now I have someone to help with the upkeep of the house, and allows me to go to appts, run errands, etc without having to pack a bag and drag my stroller onto trains and busses.

I will admit this is definitely a “softer” life, and affords me the flexibility in my life to do more self-care and things such as blogging, and working out, which is nice and necessary. However, my life does not look like what Tik Tok demonstrates as the soft life. There are no trips to chanel, or champagne brunches. My cupboard is not neatly laid out with monochromatic jars, and no matter how much we clean the apartment is always covered in toys, crushed cheerios, and whatever Sunbeam gets into. I’m still not convinced that I am living the soft life, certainly not as shown on social media. So maybe I’m living a slightly cushioned life??

I am grateful for the life that I have now, and I realize that flexibility is very privileged and that I live a life that some may desire. I love being home with Sunbeam and I wouldn’t change that for the world, but there are always challenges. Being a SAHM doesn’t feel like less work or soft work, but different work. And it’s very easy to lose your identity and feel bored and lonely, especially when living abroad. Daily meal planning (three healthy meals and two snacks) and creating an educational environment for a toddler all day with no attention span is not easy. The closet that I passionately curated over the course of several years now sits still, and is quickly being replaced by shirts with built-in bras, birkenstocks, and jogging pants. You dress for comfort and stains, which leads to fewer excuses to indulge in shopping like I would have previously. I can only speak for my experience, which might be different since I live abroad and my nanny only works part-time. But when I check-in with the fellow expat housewives in my little cohort, they all express similar sentiments so it’s not just me.

I understand the desire and the benefits to living this way, so my words aren’t meant to dissuade, but to just give perspective. From what I can see, unless you have unlimited amounts of money and a partner who doesn’t mind how you spend it, then if I am living what is considered a soft life, then it doesn’t look the way it’s shown on social media. At least if you have kids.

[twinklecupcake]

It's almost father's day what did Chenguang and Mei prepare for Red Son

Chenguang hears about Father's Day thanks to some tourists and one of her daycare classmates having a US father.

When Red Son picks her up that day, Chenguang is in a panic, blurting out that they have to give him presents and she almost forgot to. He has to explain to her that she doesn't have to do that, and that it's okay, they don't really do Father's Day. And besides which, she honors him every day, just being herself and existing.

Which does make her happy, but she still goes to Mei later and asks if they can still do something for him.

Mei and Chenguang end up working together to make dinner (calling Pigsy and MK to help) and Chenguang draws him a picture.

[applesauce42069]

I would say my Israeli-ness is like the Hummus I make without tahina. It’s still hummus, but it’s missing some things.

[creed-of-cats]

im saying this as a queer poc in the USA, if you support palestine and are talking about moving to a third world country to avoid trump, you're being a hypocrite and need to examine why colonizing populations participated in and justified settler colonialism in the first place

[murderballadeer]

i'm scared of leaving montreal bc where will i get bagels

[rjnello]

BA’s Flying “Day Care Center”

Hello from my dad’s in Pennsylvania! We flew here Saturday. We are in the States for a couple of weeks: [Dad’s backyard. Bushkill, Pennsylvania. Photo by me, September 1, 2024.] I have probably flown about 6 times a year for the last thirty years, so roughly “180” times at least. I have seen a lot of nonsense – including one woman running up the aisle toward the flight deck mumbling that she…

[miss-biophys]

My daughter is making invitations for her 9th birthday party... in 3 languages depending on what the particular friend prefers/speaks the best.

I couldn't be more proud.

Czech/English/Dutch

[biking-around-the-world]

The joy of spending a full week-end over thinking how and when to go visit your family and you have to plan it long in advance cause you moved abroad, trains to go there are inexistant, planes can be extremely expensive, and driving takes almost 6h if all goes well (which it rarely does) for the ones who are the closest.

[duchessofostergotlands]

Why don’t you like Bradley?

He annoys the fuck out of me, and the fact he's such a national treasure makes it even worse (listen to the podcast for my short rant). He has the humour of a toddler and that fake, attention seeking laugh which goes on and on even though no one has ever said anything funny enough to justify that reaction. I just don't like that he acts like he's the star of the show. It's a quiz show. I watch it for the quiz, not him laughing for ten minutes because he made a fat joke!

[natandacat]

Its become clear to me rather early that intelligence as we discuss it today is baked into eugenics, bc of the way people get genuinely grandiloquent and emotional about my intellect, always in a way that reinforces a kind of biological hierarchy. Like I'm not just smart, I'm "superior", I "dominate", etc. And its not lost on me how many of these hyperbolic admirers have been white adults, although I've sadly seen it parroted and internalized by all my peers (especially more racialized peers who were made to feel especially inferior). What is also not lost on me is how vehement my father was about the importance of being an intellectual, his way of desperately hanging onto that idea as a way to retain respect, how different his desperation was compared to the confidence of those white adults, and how many other migrants of his generation say the exact same words I've heard him say ad nauseam. So yeah. I dont much care about intelligence.

[imaginary-wanderer]

Recently, my parents came to visit me for a few days. Usually, I have close to 0 direct social interaction in my daily life (except for the delivery people) so I'm not used to speak a lot. I only speak to my pets, and very shortly during the online weekly team meeting at work (I'm WFH).

I spoke a lot more than usual with my parents...and caught a real bad laryngitis lmao It's been more than 2 weeks now, and my throat and vocal cords are starting to recover. My voice still sounds funny though, I just hope it's not like permanently broken lol

[darrenwalleyconsultancy]

Expat Sacrifice

Photo by Dannyluo Expat life, Expat Living, although full of fun, adventure, love and maybe even money, comes with sacrifice. Once living and working abroad, you will have friends and family congratulating you on your move and even some who will be more focused on the crazy money you must be earning. Isn’t it funny how the apparent crazy money is why third-world immigrants flock to the shores of…