#expanding brain

[brokentripod]

[arcsin27]

In reference to that thing where you reblog with a speech bubble over a photo implying the previous reply was a statement by the entity in the photo

[aitadjcrazytimes]

[juniemunie]

[Abandoned by the Lightners, his heart became cracked with hatred.]

Hitting a lil' too close to home?

[tofixtheshadows]

Id love to hear ur interpretation and analysis on falin! She’s one of my favorite characters and and I was wondering what ur thoughts on her are

Man, I struggle to think of anything I could say about Falin that others have not already said. But she's one of my favorite things about Dungeon Meshi too.

So much of the story revolves around Falin, and she's not even there. Tumblr loves to talk about haunting the narrative, but Falin might be one of the best examples of it ever put to page. She's dead. She's alive. She's dead. She's alive. She's alive but she's missing, she's alive but she isn't herself. She's dead but she might wake. She's dead but she's frozen in ice. She's alive but she's sleepwalking. They chase her ghost and they chase her body all through the story.

I think what Kui does with her is fascinating. Not just as character with a personality we can analyze, but as an object in a narrative- that's why I say she's one of my favorite things about the story, because I also mean it in a mechanical sense. As a writer, Kui's really good at misdirection- that is, setting you up to believe or expect something about a character or a plot, and then turning that on its head. It's most apparent with Kabru, but it works really well with Falin too.

Because the precious little sister is a very well known character archetype, right? So is the gentle healer. The heart of the party. The white mage girl. The damsel in distress. The martyr.

And this isn't a Laura Palmer situation, where we find out that beneath her wholesome surface there's something dark and troubled. No, Falin truly is a kind and gentle person. That isn't where the misdirection leads (and that, too, I think, is another misdirection- it's not "Plot twist, she isn't as nice as you thought!", which would almost be too easy).

The misdirection here is more about structure than about character (but also, yeah- a little about character).

What I mean is, with these archetypes firmly in mind, along with a whole other host of fantasy genre expectations, I think anyone who goes into Dungeon Meshi un-spoiled probably expects Falin's rescue to be an endgame event; at least on a subconscious level, where you're not really thinking about it but in the back of your head you're already stretching out the story to place Falin firmly in the distance. Fire breathing dragon at the bottom of the dungeon is perfect final boss material, right? Slay the dragon. Rescue the princess.

And Falin is the perfect prize in the traditional old school fantasy that the concept of the titular dungeon is a send-up to. Blonde (white), soft-spoken, sweet-natured, beloved by everyone. An angelic figure.

Maybe that's why Ryoko Kui gave her white wings.

It is sort of jarring when chapter 23 rolls around and it's already time to fight the red dragon. And it takes a few chapters, but they succeed. And then Falin's impossible resurrection succeeds. But by then you guess that this is not going to be the story you expected it to be.

I want to point out that Falin spends a lot of time getting, well, babied, post-resurrection. Marcille washes her in the bath, despite Falin stating that she's capable of washing herself. Marcille schools her about her mana use despite Falin demonstrating that she is not hurting for mana, and brushes aside Falin's explanations. Both Marcille and Laios refuse to actually tell her what happened. Laios scruffs up her hair like she's a little kid and scolds her for something she can't remember doing. Marcille explicitly calls her a little kid when Falin tries to talk about how much she's grown.

Of course I'm not saying that Laios was wrong to act like a big brother, or that Marcille shouldn't be worried about taking care of her shell-shocked friend in the bath. But the framing of it clearly shows a Falin who is struggling to be heard.

If you'd like to address the big gay elephant in the room while we're here, I want to state for the record that- whether you read her as gay or not -I think Marcille is completely oblivious during this. Because Falin is her little friend from school. Her best friend, yes, but also the young tallman student she, in her infinite elven wisdom, had to mentor and look after. Marcille has not yet accepted that Falin is an adult now, nor has she accepted that she, herself, is only barely past teenagerhood developmentally and is not nearly as mature as she believes. Of course she'd scrub Falin in the bath and fuss over her.

Falin, meanwhile, seems more than aware of her own adult body and the inappropriate way Marcille is treating it.

The mana-sharing scene is, I think, Falin trying to get a little of her own back. How do you like it, Marcille?

And she tries again in bed.

Maybe she's wondering if their relationship will change now that they're grown ups. If Marcille prefers her as a little girl, or at least as a woman who lets herself be guided like one; if Marcille will react badly if Falin keeps trying to assert herself. She also might be subtly trying to signal to Marcille that bed sharing, like bathing, carries a different weight to it when you do it as adults rather than as children.

With all this in mind, the decision to turn Falin from the precious prize they rescued into to the vicious dragon they have to slay, hits a lot harder.

Falin with a powerful, monstrous, destructive body. Falin, who couldn't even stand to cause people pain from using healing spells, slaughtering half a dozen people in brutal ways. And that's not her, she's being mind-controlled, but as an object in the story she has completely flipped. From damsel to threat.

And I love that she carries a little bit of that with her when she's resurrected again.

Because she's no longer the girl who's going to let herself be stifled by her brother's and her best friend's co-dependency, no matter how much she loves them. She's different now: stronger, eyes open, forging her own path instead of following in their wake. Falin is still going to come back to them again, but this time it won't be because they chased her. It'll be because they let her go.

[hailsatanacab]

"Well, this is a bad idea," Tim says, hands on his hips as he surveys the mess they’ve made in the cave.

"Nah," Danny replies, twirling his screwdriver in the air in what is probably meant to be an impressive trick to inspire confidence, except he fumbles it and it clangs to the floor loudly, "we good. If a younger version of myself hasn't come forward in time to stop me, how bad can it be?"

"Shouldn't it be the other way round?"

"What?"

"Normally, it's an older version of yourself going backwards in time to stop you, right?"

"Not in my experience."

Danny's grin is impossibly feral and a shiver runs up Tim's spine.

"This is definitely a bad idea."

[st-hedge]

*wheezing and heaving* *shoves metal gear solid and nier automata into a blender* *slams the shitass smoothie into pint glass* *hysterically throws it back* i finished the line up. im at peace now

[tawnysoup]

Transitional phase

[morgaseus]

Absolutely smitten by Rayne Ames the moment I saw him. Look i'm a sucker for self-sacrificing characters. And that got me thinking...

Schoolmate! Rayne Ames who is the Golden boy of Easton Academy; Academics? Looks? Talent? Skills? The teacher's love him, every girl loves him, the boys want to be him, and parent's wish their children were like him. He's got it all, so what's not to like about him?

And enter you, a perfectly average student who can't seem to excel at anything other than subjects you're passionate/interested about. Compared to Rayne Ames, you're nothing, not even a pebble at a sidewalk.. So when midterm results came out… you feel like your soul’s about to ascend to heaven

Schoolmate! Rayne Ames who’s as cold as the northern winds, even his fangirls have a hard time approaching him! but that won't deter you from approaching him! Not when your grades are on the line!

Schoolmate! Rayne Ames who you begged to tutor you! And if he refuses, you threaten to tell everyone how he has a soft spot for rabbits, thereby ruining his image! HA! He can't have that now can he?!

Schoolmate! Rayne Ames who absolutely does not care if you tell everyone about his fondness for rabbits; he’s got his priorities straight, he couldn’t care less about some nobody. But upon seeing how genuine you are about needing his help, relented.

Schoolmate! Rayne Ames who’s tutoring methods are brutal. You feel like a recruit being told by his superiors to do 100 pushups! You feel like you're about to cry. Ahhh, just what the hell did you put yourself into, you’d rather go to sleep, but you have to push through! Think about your parents, who worked their asses off to enroll you in a prestigious school!

Schoolmate! Rayne Ames who was the first person you told about your finals exam result. He didn't seem like it but deep down he’s very proud of you! Your score may not be the same as his but Rayne knows how much effort you put to achieve a high score.

Schoolmate! Rayne Ames who found himself always waiting for you. It's Lunchtime? You’ll come to his room to fetch him, so you two can have lunch together. It’s a semester break and there's a festival near the town? You’ll come to his dorm room so both of you can enjoy it together.

And oh, there’s a prize you really want but can’t seem to get because you suck at the game? He’ll win it for you. There’s a stuffed toy who seems to remind him of you? He’ll get it for you.

Rayne Ames who’s slowly but surely falling for you.

Rayne Ames upon realizing his feelings can't help but be disgusted. Disgusted at himself for allowing someone like him to fall for you.

Rayne Ames who slowly starts to distance himself from you. You want to eat lunch together? He’s got an important task to attend to. There’s a festival near town? Again, he's got an important task to attend to. You need his help regarding this certain subject you're having a hard time with? You can ask someone else to help you. He’s a busy man, he has no time for such frivolities.

Rayne Ames who despite his best efforts in avoiding you, can't help but feel like there’s something, someone lacking in his life. It feels so bleak, so empty,

Rayne Ames who always finds you seeking him, always asking about his whereabouts, despite it being months of avoiding you. He knows that you know he’s purposely avoiding you, any normal person would’ve given up by now, and yet, you still insist

Rayne Ames who found himself cornered by you. Apologizing to him if you did something wrong or told something offensive to him

Rayne Ames who denied any of the above. Telling you that you did nothing wrong and that you should go back to your room now, it's beyond hours.

“Then, is it because you don’t want to be seen with someone like me? Is that it Rayne? Is that it?”

Rayne Ames who’s chest ached.

Rayne Ames whose eyes are as cold as the northern winds told you: “that’s right, i'm ashamed to be seen with someone like you”

Rayne Ames who can't seem to read you, you've always worn your heart around your sleeves, but this time it's like you've totally enclosed your heart. But this should be fine right? This should be enough to deter you. So give up, stop looking for him and go on with your life. 

“You’re not being truthful, at all, Rayne. At Least tell me the truth so I can..”

Rayne Ames who clenched his teeth and told you the truth; how during those times you've been together, he found himself falling for you, and he can’t have that.

And Rayne Ames who told you that you deserve someone better; someone normal unlike him. Someone who can give you a normal life, grow old and have a normal happy family. Without him, without someone like him

Rayne Ames who heard the sharp, piercing noise, before the stinging sensation in his cheek. It took a moment for Rayne to process what happened, out of all the possible reactions for you to have, being slapped did not cross his mind.

Rayne Ames who sees your face contort with anger and sadness; telling him that he has no right to dictate what you should do with your life.

Rayne Ames who feels guilty, he knows what he’s done is wrong, but it's the only thing he knows that's right- keeping people he cherishes away from him. You shouldn’t get entangled with him any further. It's for your own good.

Rayne Ames who pulls you close to him, hiding behind the shadows of a pillar, so as to not get discovered by a patrolling staff. Your argument with him might’ve alerted them. 

Rayne Ames who became too aware of how close you are. Too close. Too close.

Rayne Ames who was ready to pull himself away from you. But before he could make a move, he felt your arms wrap around him, pulling him closer to you. Despite his inclination to pull away, he found himself melting into your embrace.

Just once, he’ll allow this luxury just once more.

[juuuulez]

carmy and his girlfriend who’s a celebrity chef

maybe you won one of those reality cooking shows and skyrocketed in popularity. a steady social media following, featuring on ads, before eventually getting your own daytime television show. it’s something cute, where you where a nice little outfit and apron, showing the viewers how to make restaurant quality dishes from home.

of course carmy knows who you are. it’s his job to know the local talent, and yeah, maybe you being so fucking pretty certainly helps. it’s a stupid crush, really. just someone attractive on his instagram feed, someone who also happens to be an amazing chef, and just has the sweetest, most welcoming smile.

your face has been printed out and taped next to a list of names to be aware of, different people of importance who’s opinion of the bear would be crucial. all the wait staff has been heavily trained for such an occasion.

but that doesn’t mean they’ll behave.

because when richie spots you? it’s over. he knows about carmy’s little crush, thinks it’s fucking adorable. plus, eva likes watching those cooking shows, you’re pretty good.

you’ve had a lovely meal, some wine, and find the conversation with him to be pleasant. it’s always flattering when the staff knows who you are, makes you feel a little less weird for dining alone. but richie being richie invites you back into the kitchen, and you being you, absolutely fucking loved that idea.

and you do try to stay out of the way, coat wrapped tight around your body as you step through the pass, making sure to look over the staff’s shoulders and not distract them. but carmen? oh, he has lost it. any sense of coherence has gone out the window, because what? you’re in his restaurant, in HIS kitchen?

you be polite and introduce yourself, offering out a nicely manicured hand for a handshake. carmen stares at it for a moment, before kicking into action, frantically wiping his palm on his apron to accept it.

and when you tell him your name? he says:

“i know.”

it takes you aback for a moment, brows raised in surprise at how blunt he’d been. carmy has enough sense to clock that his reply was strange, for he’s backtracking, trying to save the interaction.

“no, no, i mean— i mean, yeah, i know. you’re on, um, those ads, yeah? for the fucking.. the fuckin’, uh, french cookware.” he practically rambles.

it’s cute, so, so utterly cute. you save the conversation by complimenting the meal and how lovely the experience here has been, which has carmy flustered and red in the face. you decide not to torment him anymore, allowing him to get back to work and the kitchen return to its usual pace.

which, for the record, does not happen. carmy’s flow has been ruined for the night, unable to stop thinking about his embarrassing word-vomit.

it’s okay, though.

on the bill you leave a generous tip.. and your phone number, addressed to “that cute chef.”

[ivysangel]

Jason as a nibbler, a neck biter, a vampire. Not literally, he doesn't need blood to survive, no, but the way his mouth somehow always finds your neck, always finds a way to catch his teeth on your carotid, you'd think he did.

He comes up behind you so innocently sometimes, his hands ghosting over your hips and his hair tickling your jaw. His beautiful, soft, jet-black hair that is so quickly replaced with sharp nips of his teeth. You pull away, pushing his head back with your hand, and he groans; what did I do, his eyes say when he lifts his head to look at you. "You're biting me." you point to the teeth marks on your neck, indents a little deeper where his canines were. "I'm loving you."

You patiently wait for the day he gets carried away and accidentally draws blood, the day when the permissiveness of your flesh gives way to this indulgent behavior of his. He'll nose at the tiny droplets of blood collecting around the puncture wounds, licking and laving as a pool of iron collects on his tongue. Pulling away, looking like a wolf who's just devoured its prey, with blood smeared on the tip of his nose and his pupils blown wide.

He'd tasted blood before when he'd punched too hard, when he'd been punched too hard; the taste was always bitter in his mouth, too metallic, and always lingering long after he'd washed it away with water, but not yours. No, yours was welcome, just as bitter and metallic but also sweet? Comforting? Welcome? Yes, welcome. He'd welcomed you into his life a multitude of times, made room for you in places he'd previously thought to be too cramped. In his home, in his mind, in his heart, but the one place he could never figure out how to integrate you was his body.

Of course, he'd had sex with you, let you touch him in ways he had never been touched before, seen him at his most vulnerable, but it would never be the same for him as it was for you. You could never be inside of him the way he was inside of you. He thought he'd never know how it felt to walk around with ghosts of you inside of him the way you did when he came too deep or stretched you out too much. He thought he'd never know what it felt like to carry a part of his lover around with him outside of a material object. Now, he knew otherwise; he knew there was an alternative—a painful, bloody alternative—but an alternative nonetheless.

[isjasz]

[Day 205]

🫂

(Doodling whatever on the canvas with no plan and yoloing part 2. except I got too invested HDKEJRKJTKQK)

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

At rest, your lungs wish to deflate, and your ribcage expands outwards.

[sandflakedraws]

so i'm readin various stuff on the xray cause this silly film is my current source of joy and

wait

hold up.

what...

WAHT ??? WHAT

XRAY CAST DESCRIPTION????

YEARS???

xrAY dESCRIPTION eXPLaIN!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN FLOYD WAS HELD CAPTIVE FOR YEARS, WHAT SECRET INFO DO U HAVE ACCESS TO???

[chronicpaingirlie]

there is so much grief in losing things you love to your disability

[obsob]

"Hurry," I bid him He embraced me almost convulsively, and shocked me when he kissed my mouth. He spun and ran towards Girl-On-A-Dragon. The girl part of her leaned down, to offer him a hand as she drew him up to sit behind her. The expression on her face never changed. Just another part of the dragon. "To me!" he cried to the dragons that were already gathering around us. The last look he gave me was a mocking smile.

Assassin's Quest - Robin Hobb