#existential plane poem

[wilde-words]

i am afraid to find that none of this is real—

that if the plane gets any higher i will see i have been living in a shoebox diorama in the hands of a vengeful God

who moves me around on a popsicle stick.

[gildedcageif]

💗 GROWING HEART - if they have a crush, is it noticable? what changes when they're in love?

Ahmad: He believes he is really subtle, but is absolutely obvious about it. Overnight he is suddenly wearing only his finest of clothing and his hair is combed to perfection. He finds the stupidest of excuses to be near the person he likes. Suddenly, he has a bunch of gifts to give out also.

Like "Oh, look what I have hear. A million dollar ring I just found in my dresser randomly. Shame I can't keep it. It would look great in your finger. Want to have it?" or "anyway so I wrote a love poem about this person who looks like you, sounds like you, acts like you and generally just is you... oh my Annur, how did you figure out it is devoted to you? You are so smart. Here have a family heirloom by the way"

When my man is smitten, you can see it from another plane of existence. He is smiling, he is grinning, he is pestering their lover with gifts and whenever they are not around, he stares wistfully out of the window. Meanwhile he thinks he is super covert.

Selim: Selim is an expert at hiding his emotions. He thinks he is at least. He is kind of like Ahmad in that way.

He tries to hide how he feels, but then literally just stares at his lover the whole time like he wants to consume them whole.

When he falls in love, he becomes more considerate for lack of a better word. He leaves pauses in conversation desperately trying to find the right thing to say in order to pull them closer but also not too close for comfort. He thinks about them throughout. About small things he can do to help them out. His love will mainly be shown in how he helps them with their tasks. You have lots of work? No, you don't anymore. Some other concubine is bullying you? Oh no, they tripped and died.

It is a... unique way to express love, but it's still love.

Nazli: Nazli is actually good at hiding her emotions. You probably won't realise her emotions have changed until she tells you to your face.

The main changes will come from how much time the two of you spend together. All of your duties and tasks change suddenly and now they all involve serving her in some way- and thus spending all day with her. Then even at morning and night, she wants you to break fast and dine by her side.

She, similar to her son, also becomes very generous with gifts. Jewels, clothes, furs, art pieces, anything and everything that comes to mind is yours. Some of the clothes she has actually sewn herself!

Meryem:

You will know when she has a crush because she will literally come up to you and tell you. Girlie does not waste time.

But even beforehand, if she tries to hide it, she kind of does a terrible job at it. She is constantly smiling and giggling and blushing and stumbling all over her words. She constantly seems to gravitate towards her crush, finding an excuse to be around them and touch them.

When in love, she is the most affectionate person in existence. She wants to hold and exchange kisses and to brush your hair for hours. She even starts coordinating outfits with you so you can always match wherever you go.

The main tell is that she is constantly smiling. Like the world could be burning down and she is just giggling cause "isn't her love the cutest?"

She will also try to get you to bond with her son, Mustafa. She wants you two to have a good relationship so she will constantly be inviting you for bedtime stories or to play at the gardens.

Emil De Angelis

Emil is really, really good at hiding it. It helps that half the time he is so deep in denial that he genuinely misses the signs that he is in love or crushing on someone. When he does realise, he basically goes through an existential threat session.

When in love, Emil is not exactly like a talking feelings kind of lover. He may never say the actual three words, or say them very rarely, but that does not mean he does not feel that.

When in love, he will build whole ass statues and paintings devotes to their lover. Many of those will never see the light of day. They are not meant for the public eye. No they are meant for him to immortalise their love. Not to be feasted on by people who won't understand the magnificence of their love. (He is dramatic like that)

He generally becomes much more relaxed. He is glad to just lay down with them early in the morning and talk about utter nonsense. He does not mind wasting time so much if it is with them.

Helena

Helena is really obvious for a specific reason. She is a massive flirt. She will spend all her time trying to butter you up, using pick up lines to try and charm you.

The way you truly know she is in love though is when she gets flustered. Helena is a player. She likes to flirt, she likes the game, she likes to play around. The result of having so much experience is you don't get flustered too easily.

When she blushes, when she stumbles over her words, that is when she is hooked.

When in love, Helena wants to share everything with her lover. She wants to see them as they are, to understand them completely. And she wants the same to go for them. The total truth of it, nothing more, nothing less.

She wants to cuddle and joke and to go on wild adventures. She is the type to make grand gestures. Standing outside their window and singing to them type of energy.

Thanks for the ask!

[lucancore]

seven snippets , seven people

( thanks @cosmic-opossum !! here's his post )

Doing the same thing shx did bc I also haven't written anything much lately since sai'm focusing on worldbuilding and research for a personal project ( idk if it's going to be an essay or slideshow or who knows ) on critical theory and nationalism.

[ 1. chronicles of dust ] - Just another epic fantasy story. Part of my Turalinverse multiverse. MC Khanyi is a the favorite of the deity of cruelty and malice , war between factions , old magic , and a fallen empire she tried to place her hope in reviving ( but it's really and truly dead ). Lots of themes of duty and one's purpose.

[ 2. skyfall ? ( undecided ) ] - Also part of Turalinverse. Postapocalyptic adventure with lots of philosophy in which the two ( m/f ) mc don't fall in love :)) Also a not-so-subtle critique on capitalism and exploitation of labor , along with fighting monsters , and existential dread. Ends with the nihilism of the mcs prompting them to destroy humanity.

[ 3. under the mountain ] - Turalinverse. Cults and old gods and the politics of colonialism ( wooo ). A small colony town on the border of the Arinthar empire struggles with warring factions of monks , Arinthari envoys , and the town guard. One day , two defectors from the Arinthari armies come to the town with a vision to revive magic ( which is suppressed by the Arinthar ) and chaos and betrayal ensues.

[ 4. golden voices ] - Turalinverse ! The legend of Aurum Vox , the golden voice , a being that calls itself the chronicler , and seeks the end of knowledge. Gonna try to write it as an epic poem.

[ 5. just before dawn ] - Basically more philosophy but absolutely ridiculous at the same time ( think waiting for godot ). Set in a rural southern california town , a group of 3 teenagers meet in the dark hours at their favorite grocery store parking lot to process their lives. Nothing comes of any of it.

[ 6. tacit and filigree ] - Turalin. The story of the courts of magic and an exploration into Dalan's ( the main plane in turalin ) magic system and the politics surrounding it. Idk i came up with the title before the plot.

[ 7. unnamed ] - Another story in verse ( in epic poem ) threading together a couple poems i've written. It's bloody , it's dark , it's utterly incomprehensible.

Tagging : @julystruck , @orionsworldbuilding , @eccentric-kalki-talde , @revenant-chaos , @ponygirl-izzy , @local-yurei , @reptiles-of-the-mind. BTW ! I feel as though this can also work for art ocs ( like a lil description maybe ) , poetry , and anything creative.

[biirthofvenus]

signs as aesthetics

aquarius. smell of chlorine, freshly mowed grass, potted plants, fairy lights, laying in clean sheets listening to soft songs, polaroid pictures taped to your wall, morning dew, potted plants on your windowsill, breathless laughter

pisces. messy hair, cityscapes, ukulele covers of your favorite songs, watercolor paints, toes dipping in the ocean waves, freshly brewed coffee, daydreaming on a picnic, books of poems, old souls

aries. smell of leather and smoke, red lipstick, mischievous grins, the vibrations of a song in your chest, late nights with friends, devil horns on halloween night, the burn of a sunset

taurus. baked goods, matching sweaters, cuddling underneath thousands of blankets, crisp fall air, lavender candles, cherry blossoms floating in the breeze, writing in a diary, flower crowns

gemini. fishnets, ripped jeans, wandering an art museum with friends, stolen kisses, laughing till your belly aches, dancing late into the night, existential thoughts, the beginning of a thunderstorm

cancer. full moons, freckles from sunshine, making moody spotify playlists, frappuccinos, a first kiss, pink cheeks when the frost comes in, a sunrise still in bed, twinkling laughter, movie tickets, dancing in a pair of fluffy socks

leo. gold jewels, a fast heartbeat in your chest, amusement parks, diving into a lake, ice cold lemonade on a hot summer day, broad grins, bright eyes, fireworks, catching lightening bugs

virgo. piggytails, driving in a car with no destination, bare feet in hot sand, floral patterns, candy necklaces, fresh fruit at farmers markets, writing letters, ink stained hands, crackle of a new vinyl

libra. flirty smiles, ice cream at the fair, impressionism, venus in the night sky, stardust, angel wings, singing along on the radio, embracing your inner child, sleepovers, indie music at 3 a.m

scorpio. midnight talks, black jeans, overcast days, foggy mornings, whispering secrets to close friends, tarot cards, burnt s’mores on a campfire, dark lipstick, hidden smiles, bunches of red roses

sagittarius. old movies, a plane ticket to a new country, neon signs, a deck of old cards, a cool breeze on a warm day, head in the clouds, gridded paper, smudged eyes, dreaming of a better tomorrow

capricorn. bullet journals, spearmint gum, growing a garden, getting up to watch the sunrise, huge smiles, bookmarks in a worn novel, shaved legs, flowing summer dresses, the smell of cinnamon, strawberry kisses

[sinceileftyoublog]

Billie Marten Interview: Quiet Confidence

Photo by Katie Silvester

BY JORDAN MAINZER

“Where are you calling from?” I asked Billie Marten during our Zoom last month.

“East London,” she replied, “Like everyone else,” simultaneously rolling her eyes at and embracing the scene in which she’s found herself embedded.

The 22-year-old’s wry sense of humor, observations, and self-awareness complement the earnestness she’s shown on her three LPs, especially last month’s terrific Flora Fauna (IMPERIAL/Fiction Records). Though the rawer aesthetic of the record was influenced by a spontaneous, drunken purchase of a bass guitar, and many of the album’s instrumentals were fleshed out in the studio with producer Rich Cooper, Marten both dug deep within her psyche and branched out to the world around her to tackle the album’s themes of self-care and empathy. Opener “Garden of Eden” doesn’t waste any time, its drums rumbling and guitars scraping as Marten compares caring for people to tending to plants. It’s a sentiment that hits even harder after a year-plus of lockdown-induced isolation, when for many of us keeping our pets and plants alive was the only thing we felt like we could control. Throughout the record, Marten’s honest about her relationship with herself, relatable in her alternating between endurance and self-doubt. “Trying hard to teach myself a lesson / Give my body patience to bree free,” she sings on the hip hop-influenced “Heaven”; even if a partner or folks in the world around her think they’re already self-actualized, Marten’s looking out for her own mental health. On the flipside, a chaotically fuzzy stomp like “Ruin” has Marten declaring that treating others like she treats herself would be bullying: “Got a war with my body / Never win, never lose,” she sings desperately. 

Flora Fauna is much more than a collection of the good days and the bad days, though. Marten communes with all sorts of living things, from street pigeons to gardens. And perhaps the most consequential song on the album is “Human Replacement”, a song about women not being able to walk alone at night, inspired by a seemingly increasing rash of violent attacks on women in the UK over the past few years. In its juxtaposition of infectious groove and essential, in-your-face subject matter, it reminds me of U.S. Girls’ weighty “Incidental Boogie”. For Marten, putting herself in others’ shoes, in a sense, allows her to become something else. On minimal closer “Aquarium”, over strummed acoustic guitar, she sings, “Do you wanna go to the aquarium? / I feel I lately wanna drown / Sit down, stare out, shut up, and swim around.” She’s able to nurture an environment by immersing herself in it, like how dirt finds its way on her face and between her teeth on the album’s cover.

Marten’s getting ready to get back out there, with some festival dates in the summer and a UK tour in July. For now, she’s relishing reflection and admissions. Towards the end of our interview, in which she had her camera on but I didn’t, she told me, “I like that your camera’s not on. It feels like I’m in a confession booth.” Flora Fauna’s got to be the greenest confession booth in the world.

Since I Left You: How did you approach the order of the tracks on Flora Fauna?

Billie Marten: I definitely wanted it to follow the classic storyline writing/curve. “Garden of Eden” starts off with the plant, everything’s open, and you really get the main feel of the album there, and “Creature of Mine” is twisting you up to this darker, punchier world, and “Human Replacement” is very in-your-face. “Liquid Love” would be the plot twist. Then, eventually, we float down to the second side of the album and get back into that acoustic-y world slightly more, but it’s definitely still different from the first two albums. Laid bare with nothing but an acoustic...on the last song of the album. I love that it’s quite a loud beginning but very quiet ending, which is what a lot of album campaigns end up being. You’re selling this thing you’ve made for two years, and it’s all, “Look at me, here I am, here’s what I’ve been doing, here’s how much better I am.” That air of improvement has to be there. But in the end, it is what it is. Take it or leave it. I’m not a naturally outgoing, competitive person, so I quite like finishing it with an air of quiet confidence rather than being brash and loud.

SILY: "Garden of Eden” almost has its own quiet confidence. It starts like you’re already in the middle of a conversation.

BM: I definitely wanted it to be immediate, like you’re dropped into my life without any warning. Have you seen Soul?

SILY: Yes.

BM: What did you think?

SILY: I thought it was very good. What about you?

BM: I loved it, and I thought it was the best philosophical education you could have in two hours. It made me think of it that way, because he drops to the real world. I wanted that feeling here.

SILY: I read an interview you did that had the title “We really are just plants,” and I was thinking that while reading about the record before it came out and eventually listening to it. Was it important for you to start the record with a song that compared us to something that’s also living but we don’t always think about as living?

BM: Absolutely. Well said. We’re actually really easy to take care of. That’s why I wanted to simplify it down in the melting pot. Take away emotion from it. In the end, we just need water and light and a bit of space, but not too much, to survive. I was very aware of that whole concept. Especially in London, it’s, “Look how much I’ve grown or will be growing in the future,” not, “How’s everyone else doing? How’s your soil?”

SILY: On “Liquid Love”, you sing about “wanting to wake up as a human every morning.” Does that song point to an eternal optimism?

BM: That was very much an affirmation type line for me. That line about waking up every morning was about how glad I was able to do that, because not everyone gets to do that for a long time. The song’s a love/hate relationship with drinking, which I was doing quite a lot of in the first few years of music. I get hangovers really badly. It doesn’t take me a lot to be completely out of action for the entire next day. That line was about just waking up and feeling proper and normal as a human, because I’ve spent a lot of days not being able to function, and it was really getting to me. We rely on our conscience to remind us to take care of ourselves all the time.

SILY: Is your relationship with drinking now different?

BM: It’s definitely a lot better, and I’m a much happier person. I don’t use it the same. I don’t need it in my life; I just enjoy it. 80% of us probably have the same struggle with it. It’s something you can control, and something that takes us out of real life entirely. It takes up your attention for hours and hours at a time. It’s an incredible mask for genuine problems. With music, it’s around a lot of the time. Some people just can’t function without it. I have big realizations all the time. My body’s telling me to stop doing it and stop smoking as well. I keep getting tonsillitis every month. I think it’s its way of saying to chill out.

SILY: The theme of being able to control certain things seems to pervade the record. It relates to nature, too. On the album closer, your garden seems to represent a balance, a place where you can influence nature but not control it.

BM: I have a really strong urge to protect an environment. I use the word cradle a lot. It’s important that humans can do that with other ones. I wanted that side of confidence I’ve developed but to let people know it’s okay to be and remain vulnerable. I think those are some of the best sides of people. If I think of my friends, I don’t think of them as who they are when they know they’re being watched. I tend to think of what they’ve been through, their low points, who they are when they’re being honest. “Aquarium” is very much that sort of confessional poem.

SILY: There are other natural entities in song titles on here that symbolize something, like “Walnut” and “Pigeon”. I think I read the latter is a yoga pose?

BM: No. I was literally referring to the one-legged pigeons that hang around London that are all gammy and rough and ready and tough characters.

SILY: The pigeon is really smart and historically used for a lot but we think of them as rats.

BM: They’re complete vermin.

SILY: It’s almost like the way we treat nature and/our ourselves.

BM: Exactly. There’s such a different between a rural pigeon and a capital city pigeon. They’re almost completely different species. It’s funny. I’m getting a lot of misconstrued things coming out of this record, people saying I’ve left London, I’ve found spirituality, the pigeon thing. All of these things just aren’t true.

SILY: That’s sometimes a good thing. Of course there’s a line where someone says something completely wrong and claims it to be true, but do you like in general for people to be able to interpret your lyrics the way they want to?

BM: Yes. I’ve had a lot of experience [with the former], especially because we’re doing these things on Zoom, and then you read the written piece and it’s so different from how the conversation went. It’s an interesting social experiment. But I love when people take images and phrases and meanings for themselves and make them their own. It’s a great sign someone’s getting something from your music even when it’s not happening in your head.

SILY: On “Creature of Mine”, that post-apocalyptic, “this is our last chance” type vibe--Is that a scenario you often entertain, and how do you feel about it?

BM: I’m a sucker for diving deep into rumination in a very large, existential plane. Thinking just spirals until it gets bigger and bigger and you get to a point where you’re completely irrelevant. Like watching Cosmos or David Attenborough. [It puts] your existence into a tiny hole. I think sometimes that’s really positive because it helps me understand when I’m nervous for a performance or gig, it’s good to put yourself in perspective. However, it sometimes makes you not want to do things because they’re ultimately not important. It’s a fine balance with that style of thinking. It’s automatic for me. It’s my constant thought train.

SILY: Are there other places on the album, even if not in the same context, where you refer to that spiraling thought process?

BM: I think “Ruin” is especially difficult in that I was noting down my thought process, and that’s what the verses are. I don’t know why I do it, but it makes me feel good. I needed to do that to get it out of me and understand how ridiculous that thought train is. The chorus tries to put this analogy of [wasting] time being a crime. That’s what I was doing: I was wasting a lot of time thinking about it, so every time I sing it, it’s a weird slipstream universe type thing.

SILY: I asked the question hoping you would say “Ruin”. When you sing, “Got a war with my body / Never win, never lose,” it reminded me of that thought process. It goes in a circle. It’s not a linear thing.

BM: There’s no point in putting an element of battle into it. There’s no opponent. It’s just you. You could try and find opponents with other people, but that doesn’t usually work out either. This whole album is fleshing out these huge subjects I ultimately have no control over. Putting my two cents in and leaving it at that, making these musical, experimental creations. 

SILY: “Human Replacement” seems to be one where the juxtaposition between the instrumentation and subject matter is sort of contrasting. It’s this funky strut, but the song’s about women feeling and being unsafe alone at night on the streets. Were you conscious of that contrast making that song?

BM: Me and my producer [Cooper], that was the first song we did together in this album, so it needed to come out very immediate. I just had that [sings melody], and he sat on the kit just trying it out. I had no idea what I wanted to talk about. I was going into this Queens of the Stone Age, grungy, late-night mood. I didn’t have the narrative because what they sing about wasn’t relevant to me. I was looking outside and hearing all the sirens and hearing about what was happening in the news every day, and it was a subject that needed to happen. I wouldn’t say I’m in any way a political writer, but it is a massive problem. It’s a shame that narrative came out of me. The subject matter had to match the severity of the song. I couldn’t really talk about my own feelings in that song. It had to be a bigger subject.

SILY: Are songs like those more or less difficult to perform live?

BM: I don’t know. I worried about playing that one live because it’s so serious. My between-song chat is very much not serious. It’s my personality, which is who I am when I’m not performing. So I was worried I wouldn’t give it the air time it needs. Then again, most people don’t even listen to lyrics. They just like the way a song feels. It’s important to entertain those people as well. It can’t be all doom and gloom. I would say it’s harder than talking about myself, which I’ve been doing since I was 12.

SILY: How was playing your gig?

BM: It was at Banquet [Records], a record store in South London. I thought we were gonna be in the actual shop, me and my long-term collaborator and bandmate and TM Jason. He just makes a bit of [drum] kit, and I’m on acoustic. It turned out to be in this proper venue in this theater. It was a gig. I’m really glad we got pushed into that environment. Anything else would have been a lot more daunting.

SILY: Was it your first time playing many of these songs?

BM: Yes. There are still ones I have no idea how to play. I need to figure that out quite soon. [laughs]

SILY: Are you looking forward to touring?

BM: Yes. Massively. I really needed this break to make me realize that because I think gigs can be really hard for people. I definitely find that. There have been certain moments where I wish I wasn’t going on stage. Now it’s just like we have been given this gift again of living normally. It would be incredibly inappropriate to feel otherwise.

SILY: What else is next for you?

BM: Definitely writing. I want to start recording again. I can do it now since we’ll be so busy. It’s shaping up into a completely different soundscape again, which is interesting. You’re always going.

SILY: Anything you’ve been listening to, watching, or reading lately that’s caught your attention?

BM: This band called Coco. I don’t even know how I found them. They’ve got no information about them whatsoever. I think they’re American. They have 3 songs on Spotify. They’re very very good. To be honest, I’m not very good at watching things at the moment. I watched Nomadland and loved that. Mostly it will always be The Simpsons. To be honest, I’ve been too busy recently. I’ve been looking forward to June. Wait, we are in June! It’s the 2nd day of June. Well, I’m looking forward to this month, where I can do more domestic things again and stop talking about myself. [laughs]

[dk-thrive]

This is I. This is my life I hear.

Other unpublished Plath poems from this period (1948) strike a modern, self-questioning note. The free verse “I put my fingers in my ears…” tells of a speaker in the throes of an existential crisis.

In wonder  I listen.  This is I.  This is my life I hear  Beating like a muffled airplane engine,  Pulsing loud.  Over what barren wastes of rock  And tattered cloud Is that plane winging?  And why am I struck chill by Its strange high singing?

— Heather Clark, Red Comet: The Short Life and Blazing Art of Sylvia Plath (Knopf; October 27, 2020). Sylvia Plath @ 15 years of age.

[blueoatmeal]

fireplace?

ask meme

fireplace: one of your favorite stories, books, or poems

oooooooh gosh im gonna pretend that “or” is an “and” because I loooooove stories. also I want to talk lol ok so favorite poem, well, this one’s a little odd maybe to be a favorite? maybe? It’s Richard Cory by Edwin Arlington. I read it in school once and it has never left my head. It’s short, simple, and so real. I think it spoke to me because it demonstrates how somebody who seems perfect and put-together to everyone else can have immense issues hidden underneath their well-crafted exterior, and I was very much in that type of situation at the time. Unlike the protagonist, however, I got help. (again the poem is very short and simple but tw for suicide) hmm, a story. well it’s hard to pick but I really love my grandpa’s stories about his time as a mechanic, particularly as an american air force mechanic in the cold war. He worked on spy planes! Not the U2, but it’s lesser-known cousin the Martin RB-57D. He was on an English air base once with one of these, and he was inside the cockpit helping to put the plane away after a top secret night flight. The main pilot was taken away as soon as they landed bc he was sick or smth, so it was Grandpa’s job to man the brakes while the other crew towed it into their secure hanger. It was going fine, but then he got distracted or misheard an order and let go of the brake--and the plane’s wing smashed into a jeep and totaled it, making an awful noise. The jeep belonged to the top official at this English air base, who was also being kept in the dark about these night flights. The wing was a little scraped up but nothing they couldn’t fix. so Grandpa and the crew had to hurry to put away the plane--a fucking big plane too!--while his team leader had to put together some story about what happened to the jeep as the English came out to investigate. (I think it ended up being something about a joyride.) He later got A Talk from his superior, but since the operation was top secret, it was easier to just brush the incident under the rug than explain his demotion or whatever on paper, revealing the whole game in the process. And that’s how Grandpa kept his job by making a very bad mistake on a top secret spy mission. One of my favorite stories fav book? heck, well, I think it’s gotta be Doctor Who: The Festival of Death. Time travel, paradoxes, death, undeath, evil scientists, antagonists with sympathetic backstories, a morbid AI, hippie lizards, existentialism, a poetic justice, ghosts, misunderstandings, accusations, playing with fate--so many excellent excellent tropes in one story with marvelous narration and descriptions, and some of my favorite dialogue ever. if i could get one book turned into a movie it might have to be this one

[johnnys-so]

I recall you saying you don't know Day6 well enough for an analysis, but what about now? If you can, we'd love one. Thank you!

HEYOOO! 

Umm a lot hasn’t changed on that front but I feel like the distance might be a good thing so I’m going to attach some small mini-analysis after the cut.

sungjin

Bob is literally the most dad friend ever and I think he really takes the cake (though GOT7′s JB comes a close second). He looks so constantly done with all of his members, and yet - probably the one who cleans the kitchen and makes sure to stock up on water/ramyeon/veggies etc.

I feel like he was born to be the hyung, you know? He is the responsible and primary caregiver type. Even though he doesn’t make a big show of it, it seems to be a big part of his personality that he takes care of other people

Also, my god his humour is just.... something commendable, truly. He can’t be funny to save his ass but atleast he keeps trying and i think THATS what so funny about him??? sungjin-ah.... never give up bby

I feel like he’s the least complicated of all members. He doesn’t seem to be the emotionally volatile type and seems very centred in his personality, he also seems oddly like he might have a sister? a younger one (does he? idk, mydays pls let me know). it’s just that other than the protective bear stereotype, he does seem emotionally well-adjusted. Maybe he’s just at that point in life where he can encounter a shitty day or some sort of hardship and look at it straight and say - ok, that’s fucked up. But I guess we gotta just work through it. (in comparison, wonpil would be shrieking through his lungs AND working through it)

in terms of a temper i think he most certainly has one but it takes him a while to get there and i don’t think he’d talk through it AT ALL. maybe cleanliness would be his pet peeve? (im just shooting in the dark here)

to wrap it up, sungjin is the sort of guy (in my opinion at least) who has a strong and steady value system and he’s sort of ok with dealing with the world as long as he has it figured out in his head. He knows who he is, and therefore there is little conflict he brings to the world. If he wasn’t playing in this band, I’d 1000% see him settle for the corporate life and clean9 to 5 job which lets him come back home by 7pm and have some cold beer while watching football and hearing his kids play in the living room

Jae

Aww man this skinny bitch. I feel like the fandom is sleeping on his ‘annoying prankster’ potential because i think  he’d give peeves a run for his money

derives great joy from the misery and anguish of others (probably has Wonpil maniacally laughing in the background)

on a normal day Jae is the sort of person who’s probably going through memes on the phone while everyone’s having a serious conversation about their tour or like their everyday schedules. He has a few things he cares about in life and is okay to take a backseat when it comes to the other shit. As long as he gets what he needs (a possible slytherin mofo?)

But that’s not to say that he’s easygoing or wishywashy about the things that he does care about. Music, matters a lot to him. Even though he’s not academically musically instructed (as young k is) he has spent a whole lot of time and effort into educating himself to the point that it really shows in their albums (i could wax poetry about the complexity of Day6′s music and how its so refreshing in it’s personality of being both goth and peppy i-). So Jae is most certainly determined, goal driven and very intrinsically motivated

Also, very much in his head. If he doesn’t have a strong pisces placement, I’m willing to eat my foot. I feel like while Young K is very intense about his emotions, Jae gets very emotional about the people he surrounds himself with.

With people: not very trusting of everyone. Has a chosen few that he goes to certain things about. Might be the kind of person who distributes his troubles by categories to various confidants. But also, trust is something that is earned with jae. But that is not to say that he won’t get along with other people. He’s cordial and is good in engaging a crowd (as a performer, MC, friend, VJ) but he’s also good at drawing lines and boundaries

the most incredible part of his personality for me has always been his work-ethic and his drive to be better. He’s always challenging himself through his existing skill set, but also pushing himself to learn new things. Sounds like a bloody workaholic to me. 

probably shit at figuring out his own feelings/emotions/attitude about certain things. But always up for being the wise advice-giver to other delinquents (read: jamie)

sarcastic wit to sass everyone for days. probably a loki over thor guy

Kink master extraordinaire. Likes cooking up shit and encourages people to sin.

Young K

emo baby af. But we all knew this so more on that later

The ultimate Onion of a personality. Young K, off the bat, seems like he hides so many layers. Not purposely at all, but simply because he’s unable to communicate the extent of his mental world to the public

one beautiful way he has found to channelise all of his thoughts and ideas about the world is clearly through his music and lyrics. But he’s also extremely creative in other ways (art and fashion). I feel like he’s the sort of person who feels most confident and assured in himself when he’s creating. 

socially, what a mess. I wouldn’t say he has trust issues like Jae does but im pretty sure he’s made some foolish mistakes about choosing friends and not realising how to navigate that friendship (friendships where he has demanded too much or has been demanded too much of??). But otherwise a jovial fool the kind of person who laughs the loudest (and dorkiest) at a dinner with friends

how’s his alcohol intake? I have this super funny intake of a drunk young k trying to write mini love poems for all his friends and sungjin being called to take him home and the call actually begins with “did he try to be poetic again?”

while im trying to paint a picture of him as a jester (because young k also needs to be seen for beyond his emotionality) he’s the kind of guy that would surprise you with how brilliant he is. An actual wisecrack/genius, and very underappreciated. I wouldn’t be surprised if he someday returns to teaching

Right. Emotionality though. If he isn’t some pisces (sun or moon) i will actually yell. He’s the definition of ‘someone who navigates an alternate plane, is open to a world that most people don’t even begin to understand exists’. i feel like speaking to him about abstract concepts - such as the existence of truth, the point of life, the definition of beauty, other existential phenomenon - would be so much fun because he’s have such an interesting and unconventional take on things. I feel like he’s make me humble with the words he has (he already makes me feel so secure with all of his lyrics because i realize, even if the world is shit what a relief that someone like young k exists)

probably would be a guilt-ridden but a wonderfully emotionally supportive boyfriend. Someone who understands your demons all too well and would go the extra mile to provide whatever help he can

1000% has high neuroticism scores that would be cause for concern. someone give him a Beck’s depression inventory right away.

HAHAHAHAH probably the fucking kinkiest mofo, after Jae

Wonpil

An actual baby!!

No ok but wonpil has matured THE most in all of Day6 and i really didn’t realise it until i notice how his expressions have become more closed during airport pics, and his voice has gained a new level of emotionality in live stages, and he’s also a lot more reserved these days on variety shows

still the most extrovert in the group. I just think the fame, the crowd, the possible betrayals as a result of their growing fame and having to be an adult in this tough situation - has gotten to him. But that’s inevitable really. None of us can be protected from the reality of life that leeches away at our innocence

such a vibrant soul. Such a giver. As a friend, he’s literal sunshine. Not much of a protector, but more of an amicable I’ll-always-be-there-for-you sort of person (though im guessing the amount of people he extends this courtesy to nowadays has probably reduced. 

fucking made to be an entertainer. He’s naturally funny and attracts all the energy (and eyes) in the room to himself. A very good mood maker if you will

in terms of neuroticism, I think he’d be more on the depression (from the constant stress workstyle and the increasing loneliness) than an anxious person. I think he probably is a bit volatile in his emotions but that’s because he gets lost in the moment. He’s literally someone who lives in the present far more than he lives in the past (sungjin or young k) or the future (jae)

don’t think he's intrinsically motivated much. Prone to a lot of lazy days, a lot of extreme gaming and just randomnly playing jokes and pranks on people. he’d need some strongly external guidance/deadlines to get his work ethic going

high extraversion and agreeableness, probably low on conscientiousness (especially discpline) but fascinated by aesthetic beauty (openness to experience).

Dowoon

Honest to god i cannot figure him out. I think it’s a case of - im trying to look deeper and harder but the truth is, it’s not even that complicated

underappreciated oppa potential 100000%

still comes through as a dork of a maknae. has zeROhand eye coordination outside of drumming. the kind of kid who breaks the glassware and blames it on his sibling (wonpil) and his parents totally believe him because he could do no wrong (aka sungjin grudginly yells at wonpil, again, about house rules)

just a man dedicated to his drums and his food. if he can play some solid beats, get some work done on the albums, play a nice set on a tour, have some chicken and beer while he is resting, have his hyungs fool around in the green room --> he good bruh

but by no means does that make him a fool (though i do think he’s a bit of a fool sometimes when it comes to picking up social cues about wonpil/jae making fun of him. he lacks the 눈치 you know what i mean)

Also (maybe I just love plot twists) but i think he’d be eerily good at picking up on people feeling sad/depressed/lonely/off in general. He’d be like that guy who just walks into the room and sees you just slinking away on the sofa and he thinks.... nah im just going to give them space and go get myself some food. But literally a few seconds later, he sits by you on the sofa, offers you food, and asks what’s on your mind. The silent supporter kind. Willing to listen, willing to be there for you

i don’t know much about dowoon so im just going to end this with: arms that can lift kids/ crush you in a bear hug/ pin you against a wall and leave bit marks on your neck

sorry if that didn’t cover much. I sort of only know day6 with their music. If im extremely wrong or way off about someone, please reach out and correct me!!

[sludgesoup-archive]

every odd one!!!! if you want

hooh ok !!!! this is going under a cut ! thank u for letting me talk abt myself

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?wait a minute by willow, monster by dodie, sanctuary by joji, something for your mind by superorganism, strawberry blonde by mitski, verbatim by mother mother

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.there r no books near me lel

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?just ‘non’ [from my sister]

7: What’s your strangest talent?i dont really have one of those ! i am strange but everything i know is a skill !

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?not that i know of ! my ex write poetry so that has me wondering.......

11: Do you have any strange phobias?no just . general fears. ok i am kinda scared something is down the drain in my bathroom

13: What’s your religion?aint got one !

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?i hoenstly dont know ! both :-p

17: What was the last lie you told?i would say it but im in the lounge and im afraid someone would read it :-x

19: What does your URL mean?i saved it when i was on the skewl bus and being crouchy but i like the aes of it

21: Who is your celebrity crush?rat nao ? very much david harbour

23: How do you vent your anger?j*** *** or minecraft :-)

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?i dont mind either ! its nervwrackign at first but its always fun 

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?i dont like the sound of eating . luv the sound of rain

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?yes and yes

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?cheese . like burnt cheese. is somethign burning

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?im from aus so idk fucking. places. i dont really like coasts tho theyre too hot and theres too many ppl

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?almost makes a hitchikers joke. dont ask me this im existential 

37: Do you believe in luck?yes ! for me tho i have to ask for luck before the event. like a few days before kinda thing but yes it happens

39: What time is it?12:15 pm

41: What was the last book you read?uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

43: Do you have any nicknames?yeah ! newt, harl, simon, etc etc

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?honestly when i got my tunge pierced 

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?mine craft

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?no.

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?ye. msot of the time

53: Do you save money or spend it?spend ! i liek things

55: Love or lust?thinks about keaten henson song huh what were you. saying

57: How many relationships have you had?barely three

59: Where were you yesterday?at. mall . getting suit

61: Are you wearing socks right now?no 

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?being my lil ol self

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.@owencarvour @bastardpikachu @ragedrive @transboyklug and @animorphs !! :-)

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?minecraft >.

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?like. ? ye

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?unless im applying for applbees i dont like answering these kind of questions cos idk how id act. idk me

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.luv !!!

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?0910.... y

77: How can I win your heart?send me hopper stranger thigns gifset and give me minecraft tip

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?god idfk mans

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?sub to jerma

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.luv !!!!!!

85: What’s the last song you listened to?sanctuary by joji

87: What is your current desktop picture?its a folder that changes every five mins. jut images mostly picrews

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?not answerin this one lel !!

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?sorry you said radioactive i thot of the highlighter liquid from reanimator bye

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?hm. ok no yeah im not answering this one either

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?either franch to see @owencarvour or the netherlands

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?yes only a litl tho

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?leans in so the mic touche my lips. asscheekes sotuhcing the toliet seat.

[abloodymess]

Pulp Tarkovsky: or a Heavy Metal Tone Poem About Grief.

what are you hunting?

Jesus freaks.

I think the the question I get asked the most is, "Why do you like horror so much?", the second question I am asked most is "Why do you like Metal?" I think the answer to that question can be found within Mandy.

The Metal I have always gravitated towards has a larger than life quality that allows you to escape, but with all of it's over-the-topness, and goofiness that is inherent to the genre; there is also an existential dread, a spiritual bleakness, a cracked heart, a weight pushing down on you, a howling about how the Earth is crumbling down around you and no one seems to notice.

How do you handle tragedy? Do you self medicate? Do you work? Do you escape into nature? Do you turn to faith? What if all the above does not work? You still have to continue to walk through it. When I was at my lowest, metal carried me through.

Like horror, metal is full of extreme images, of death, doom, religious imagery turned on its head, and some people will look at those images/sounds and reject or scoff at these things. These things are not normal, and they are divorced from what people "should" get pleasure from. But these images and sounds when placed together creates something greater than it should, a kind of poetry. For some of us, what's found in this ridiculous poetry is salvation. A self forged ax to help us cut through the pain that may never leave, but we will continue to try, on this plane or the other.

Mandy is the most metal movie I have ever seen.

[earthmatesmagazine]

MY LIFE

By Muhsine Arda

What lovely, eventful, and horrible but memorable years they were.

I was young, determined and of course a smarty/know-all teenager as much as any peers of mine. Not knowing what love is but dreaming of it, not having the power to change the world but reading a lot and preparing for fighting for it!

Age 15 found me in the turmoil of 1968 youth movements, being born in 1952. I was a book worm since my childhood, I had already read many poetry, philosophic and political books from the personal libraries of my elder sisters and my brother. In my house there was no right age for reading a book. Books were ready for reading for anybody who wanted to read. ‘If you don’t understand ask for explanation’ was the motto of my father (a teacher) who refused the idea of ‘Children should read only children’s books.’ 

So, I finished reading Jean-Paul Sartre’s books about existentialism as well as Simone De Beauvoir’s books. Open to the debate how much I understood! Nevertheless, one book that I found and read from my brother’s bookshelf was a book about The Vietnam War. I don’t even remember the title of the book. But one photograph stuck in my mind. Yes, that famous, incredibly sad and dreadful photo of a naked girl in the middle of the road running to escape after a Napalm bomb. Therefore, at age15 I was already a pacifist and a feminist.

A reader or not, I was a young girl who wanted the freedom of weekends and wanted to live the excitement of going to parks, movies, concerts with friends. I was a boarder at İstanbul Kız Lisesi- The first high school opened for girls in 1850 in The Ottoman Empire. A fantastic school! I used to spend my weekends in my brother’s house who decided to move back to Bursa from where we originated. So, I made up my mind to enjoy my weekends and transferred to a Bursa High School although everybody was against my idea!

That was the biggest mistake I ever made! The two schools were vastly different, the latter being a school dwelling in the dark ages of the back water of conservatism. Nobody had heard about the writers of the books I had read, never heard of the Vietnam War, feminism and had never been to an opera! The education was also not good. In that school, my teachers didn’t believe that the stories and poems I wrote, were really mine, but copied from other books. Because of that I turned into a rebellious and unhappy teenage girl.

Thank God in 1970 I finished that horrible high school and started at the University. The next four years were my happiest but country-wise the worst years of my life. The world was changing dramatically, and the conservative governments were systematically fighting against this. The girls were burning their bras, the young people were enjoying life at Woodstock in the USA, the students both from left and right in Turkey were dying like flies from the police/military bullets. Nevertheless, we had hopes to better the world and stop fascism. Not realizing Turkey would undergo a military coup in 1980 and people would suffer under a fascist dictatorship. A terrible turmoil.

I have also had my personal turmoil. After graduation all my efforts for passing the government’s scholarships exams for post graduate studies failed. I was always “the first reserve”.  It took me a while to realize that all the successful ones were boys…  Then I started a master’s degree program in statistics at Bursa Uludağ University. But the male chauvinist professor, in front of everybody, screamed telling me that he would never give me a passing grade because he believed that girls were not intelligent enough to master maths and statistics.   So, throwing my notes at him and screaming “Damn you”, I left the classroom where I was the only female student.

Within a month I was on the plane to the UK to learn English and pursue my post graduate studies with only 325 pounds in my pocket, courage and hope in my heart that I would find a job to finance my stay and education. My determination was evaporating when I began to live on bread and water for a month, and then only on water for ten days. It seems my luck was waiting to turn for the better until I fainted from hunger on the lawn of Christ Church College in Oxford. 

The man who found me there wasn’t a killer as I feared, but an angel.  After learning my story and feeding me he put me on the saddle of his bike and rode me to Remzi’s Restaurant. The proprietor was a Turkish Cypriot and immediately I was engaged to work in the kitchen as a dishwasher. Then a new era started in my life.

Not knowing if it was for the better or the worse, I was full of hopes and dreams and ready for the second quarter of my life. 

Bio-note:

Muhsine Arda is a Turkish poet, novelist, and essayist. Her work includes six volumes of poetry, short stories, essays, and two novels. Muhsine’s staunch advocacy of Women’s Rights in the frame of Human Rights is reflected in much of her writing, which also addresses such “taboo” subjects as women’s sexuality, physical disability, and suicide. She lives in Bursa, Turkey.

[saltineofswing]

Celair

I got a couple for Celair, which is really nice!

Full Name: Celair Eshgalweth, The Smile ThatHides The Wrathful Wail, Silverqueen, Scimitar Dancer, Divine Patron of Elves

Gender andSexuality:Female, Bisexual

Pronouns: She/Her

Ethnicity/Species: Hmm… well it may surprise youto learn that Celair, despite being the Patron Deity of Elves, is not herselfan Elf. Celair was tasked with the job of ‘Patron of Elves’ by thecreator deity of her home plane; she was actually a fairly terrifying-lookingFae being, a giant insectoid thing visually similar in some ways to a prayingmantis. Her job, and the amount of time she has spent doing it, has changed hertrue form considerably but it’s still pretty terrifying to look at in that‘beautiful and horrible’ kind of way that Elves do. This, incidentally, is whyCelair has insectoid features; I haven’t drawn them but Celair does have wingsthat she can ‘stow’ in her spine, and those ‘horns’ on her head are actuallyantennae. She effectively ‘folds’ herself into the relatively benign-lookingmeatsuit that everybody knows and loves as Celair, which she puppets with heressence like a doll. This is why she is so absurdly strong and fast despite thefact that she has the physical appearance of a late-teens-early-twenties youngadult. The closest anybody could get to seeing her original true form is theWrathful Wail, Celair’s divine Enraged Mode, when she transforms into a massivebluish-hued silver-streaked monstrosity with gangly multi-jointed limbs, anabdomen and thorax, and mantid raptorial arms created by the way her hands fuseto her meteorite-steel scimitars.

Rusty, whileusing a device that allowed them to peer into the Veil and therefore gave themthe ability to view the ‘true forms’ of anyone they came across, spied onCelair as she truly appears; the image they saw was a tangled swath ofinsectoid limbs and dragonfly wings, a series of silver lines floating in anarc around a svelte torso composed of paneled wood, her head adorned with abeautiful silver mask in place of a face. So, take that as you will.

Birthplaceand Birthdate:The ‘Ethereal Plane’ (The Unknown) of an extrauniversal planar system calledKith, Dawn of Time.

GuiltyPleasures: …Killing stuff, honestly. As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, Celair was effectivelyforced into the position of ‘Planar Greeter/Butler’ by the other divines in thepantheon, and served in that position for thousands and thousands of years.Because Kith is an extrauniversal planar system, it’s effectively ‘in’ theUnknown and therefore basically open for any schmuck who has figured outinterplanar travel to shlep their family into; Kith leaned into this, andbecame a ‘tourist destination’ of sorts for nearby dimensions. So for Celair, acreature with a horrifically short fuse, her guilty pleasures while on the jobwere the minuscule opportunities for her to really cut loose. And since shejoined the Hunt, she’s been able to indulge her guilty pleasure quitefrequently.

Other thanthat, though, she is way more fond of mortal fashion than she lets on. And she reallyenjoys alcohol. You think you can drink? Celair and her elves preferredto drink pure wood-grain alcohol. Celair could drink paint thinner andcomplain about the taste with no other ill effects. Her favorite drink isEshgalán Absinthe, which is elven wood-grain alcohol made from wormwood. IRLabsinthe doesn’t make you hallucinate but Esh-brewed Absinthe DEFINITELY doesif you’re not Esh. There was a funny scene we did early in the campaign, beforethe Hunt proper started, that involved Celair at Gol Gringorn’s bar with a hugehandle of 192-proof alcohol vodka in her hand, just swigging it like Tennesseesweet tea, and asking if Geeg had ‘anything harder’.

Phobias: This is not a gal easily shaken. If you were amillennia-old Fae-natured goddess who swings your twin meteorite-steelscimitars so hard and fast that they hum, would you be scared of much?She has a couple of deep existential fears, but predominately she is terrifiedof losing Ophelnwol and Mizzimet, the two Eshgal clerics that she brought withher when she joined the Hunt… and the last two living members of the Elvenrace on Kith. They are the only things keeping her from failing in her DivineTask, and they were her most faithful servants so she does truly love them. Oneof her worst fears has already been realized during her time on the Hunt,actually; on Greenbrier, she had a hand in the instantaneous extinction of theLapinine, Rumenthlay Redbud’s species, when Ethem-Cailo landed the killing blowon their creator goddess Halarenu. Being involved in a genocide on that level,accidental or not, really fucked her up and was the first event that put her onthe path to defecting.

Additionally,she has a… complicated relationship with Ethem-Cailo that I will go over inmore detail later. Suffice to say, her fear of him doesn’t manifest the sameway people typically manifest fear, but deep in her heart she is truly scaredof him.

What TheyWould Be Famous For:Celair was the patron deity of the Kith-Esh, the elven races of her home plane– she was the sole deity assigned to the three elven lineages: the Wood, High,and Dark Eshgal. And boy howdy, did they all love the shit out of their patrongoddess. Her surname translates to ‘Beloved of the Elves’, and every single elfin Kith had a shrine to Celair. Her usual appearance belies the Wel-Esh, theWood Elves, but she was capable of appearing as Stal-Esh (High Elf) orCimer-Esh (Dark Elf) – the three different lineages of elves got on like catsin a bag but they all had one thing in common, and that’s how much they lovedtheir mom Celair.

When Celairjoined the hunt, she got very famous for being very savage in her fights. Someof the most popular and well-rated fights of the last 2,500-hunt block havebeen Celair’s fights and she’s only been with the Hunt for 247 hunts. Herextreme temper, merciless combat pragmatism, and raw brutality won her quite afew fans amongst the members of the Wild Hunt and the viewing public back homeon Threnghelleon.

What TheyWould Get Arrested For: Any of the ones about hitting.

OC You ShipThem With:Because of the afore-and-hereafter-mentioned issues Celair has withEthem-Cailo, we decided very early on that we were going to Definitely For Sureavoid pairing her with Wybjorn. And then, god damn it, they had reallyspectacular chemistry. Weirdly, they bonded over Ethem-Cailo’s tendency to sendhis ‘Effigy’ (Wybjorn before he was rescued) to serenade Celair or give her hisshitty poems when he couldn’t be effed to do it himself, and their earliestpersonal interactions were commiserating about what a dogshit guy EC was. Soright now that’s kind of the leading ship; aside from him, I think Celair wouldbe good with Amaryllis (who already has a girlfriend tho and also is currentlydead), and probably Wynrael of Wild Magic (Whitty’s mom). Sadly, I don’t thinkshe has even the faintest trickle of interest in August; just because he’s notone of ‘her’ elves doesn’t mean he’s not one of her elves, if that makes sense,and she just sees him as one of her children so to speak. I bet she findsHoratio very strikingly handsome, but I don’t think they’d have very goodchemistry.

The bigproblem with shipping her with other people is that Celair looks really young.This is a problem I was cognizant of when I made her, and something I knew Iwas going to have to finagle; Eshgal are just a very young-looking race,because that’s the way ‘long lived’ works for them – they look like they’re18-24 until they’re 500, and then they are suddenly weird toad-people like someshit outta Rankin & Bass. There is a race of ‘half-elves’ on Kith that havea stable breeding population, so two half-elves will pop out a half-elf, butinter-species romances rarely happen between the Esh and the other races ofKith, and contributed to the infantilized/servile role into which Celair andher elves were forced by the other divines and races of the plane. Celair canmake herself look a little older, but the magic that binds her to her patrondomain is engineered such that she will always look like a youthful elf, and soshe is kind of stuck looking like a trendy college sophomore forever.

And… well, that’swhy Ethem-Cailo was attracted to her. He is also stuck looking anywhere between14 and 19, and when Celair came along he saw it as his chance to finally havesomething with someone that wasn’t by its nature time-gated for failure. But heblew it harder than a Satchmo solo!

OC MostLikely To Murder Them: Ethem/Jovix-Cailo. There’s a lot of bad blood there, and he doestechnically owe her one because once she stabbed him. He really, reallydeserved it, but he could never admit that. It was really more of a warningstab anyway.

FavoriteMovie/Book Genre:You may be unsurprised to learn that the fae-natured elven patron is fond ofcomedies, specifically slapstick and anything where people are making absolutefools of one another. She loves the Three Stooges, the Marx Brothers, andCharlie Chaplin/Buster Keaton silent film stuff. She’d probably be really biginto Chris Farley, too. Basically if it features mortals making idiots ofthemselves, it will appeal to her fickle, fae proclivities. She doesn’t muchlaugh out loud anymore, but it makes her smile.

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Nice Guys. Karma Houdinis.Fridged and otherwise injured-for-men’s-sake women. Elves as stuck-up,impenetrably nebulous and enigmatic embodiments of the White Ideal. Or,conversely, Elves as the long-suffering punching bags of the rest of the worldand used as thinly-veiled stand-ins for other minority groups (lookin’ at youBIOWARE). Really if you’re going to show her a media property, steer clear ofanything containing ‘traditional’ elves or she’ll just get pissed.

Talentsand/or Powers:Celair’s powers are fairly intuitive and don’t require a ton of explanation,thank god, so this will be fairly quick. First and foremost, without any of themagic or her divine physical abilities, Celair is a master swordfighter. Sheinvented the Eshgal art of the Scimitar Dance, a technique that makes use of anintricate and high-speed set of graceful dance-like steps to capitalize on themomentum of an enemy and the weight of her swords. It excels in combat againstany enemy in melee range by virtue of the footwork, the twirl of the blades,and the incredible weight of the blows.

Her speed isextremely remarkable, on par with the Witherwound’s, and she is physicallystrong enough to chuck cars one-handed. She has incredible endurance andstamina, a remarkable tolerance for pain, and can fly thanks to thedragonfly-like wings that she can hide and reveal at will. Magically speaking,Celair is a master-tier illusionist and has a very wide array of illusions,curses, and debuffs. Celair also has dominion over silvers and other preciousmetals of the earth, so she can generate and control silver in its raw, ore, orprocessed form with ease and in great quantities. Her ‘signature’ spell is calledSilver Darts of Esh, which summons a hailstorm of silver throwing darts.Celair’s huge swords, Gladhaedrel and Caedwhelnor, hum with the speed at whichthey pass through the air when Celair’s dance is in full step, and at herfastest and angriest she has been known to hit people with her swords so hardthat they aren’t cut by the swords so much as burst open or apart by them.

Now take allof that and bring it up by about 500%, and fuse her swords to her hands likemantis arms. That’s the Wrathful Wail, and while she inhabits this form shealso sings the Eshgalmuldrath, the titular ‘wrathful wail’, a horrible andunfathomable noise that is not only loud enough to be heard for miles aroundbut also summons a scouring gale of wind full of silver dust.

Why SomeoneMight Love Them:At her best, Celair is proud, clever, and graceful; she has a coy and teasingsense of humor, enjoys revelry, and in true elven form will absolutely get youmega-sloshed if you want to party with her. When she’s relaxed she is willingto try almost anything once, and is very encouraging of people trying to facefears or looking for new experiences. She’s fiercely protective of her friends,and will keep her eye on them at all times. She’s not really a ‘mom friend’,but she looks out for people on principle and is extraordinarily loyal. She’snot really all that stuck-up about her divine origins or her age, and treatseveryone she meets as equals until she’s given a reason not to. She’ll stand upto anybody, for anybody. Although she can be a little stubborn, she is open tointrospection and will admit when she’s wrong, and she will earnestly try tochange her behavior when called out.

Why SomeoneMight Hate Them:At her worst, Celair is bitter, violent, and has a hair-trigger temper. AndCelair has been at her worst for a really long time. Trauma has made her anempty, angry person with a grudge and a few hundred thousand years of repressedrage to work out, preferably via Stabbing. She has also learned nothing fromher treatment on Kith, and will bottle up her emotions until they pop. She isvery aware of her own power and will belittle or outright threaten people whorub her the wrong way. She’s stubborn, biting, and has a bit of a problem withauthority. And just like in physical combat, Celair is a pragmatist inarguments. She’ll go for the low blow if it gets her the ‘W’. When she getsreally stupendously angry she snaps a little bit and has been known to go ontirades about how pathetic and tiny other beings are to her – she’s severalmillion years old and has sneezed more times than you have cells, how Dare youyadda yadda yadda. God, her temper is so bad. It’s always been Not Great butsince she uncorked it all for the Hunt it has just been the fucking worst.

How TheyChange: IfDrell’s change graph was a steep valley, Celair’s is the heart monitor of aperson in the middle of a heart attack. Celairwas originally a very good person, all said and done. She was the light of herpatron race’s existence and did a lot of good for Kith. Ostensibly, she savedKith with the sheer ferocity of her resistance. And the thought of beingupstaged by the girl who hung up the visitor’s coats galled her fellow Divinesso much that they and the mortals went on a campaign to exterminate every lastelf. And then Derog killed them all again for committing what he saw as a‘party foul’, leaving Celair the last Divine on Kith. So Much happened in sucha minuscule time frame that Celair had no way of processing it. She couldn’tbottle it up. So she didn’t. She joined the Hunt with her favorite clerics, thefinal two Esh anywhere in existence, and their unborn child. And she tried toKill the anger away.

Celair never really tried to fit into the Hunt’s ranks, only makingfriends with Gol Gringorn because she was at their bar so often and getting toknow August because he was an elf. Otherwise she spent her time awkwardlydancing around Ethem-Cailo’s awkward attempts to catch her interest and tryingto drink herself into a hole in the ground. Ethem-Cailo eventually wore Celairdown and she decided to try and help him become a better person – and for awhile, it seemed to be working. But after the Wild Hunt’s first visit to TheRoad and a nasty encounter with one of the Road’s native gods, Celair was basicallytold off for being a huge bitch and given a portent: one day she would putanother world through the genocide that ruined her life. She was justperpetuating the cycle. And she couldn’t shake that off. When Greenbrierhappened, Celair just kinda… gave up. Ethem-Cailo’s complete lack of remorsefor obliterating an entire race and admission that he was kind of just doingthat nice-guy thing where he fed her Niceness Coins in an attempt to make sexfall out pushed Celair to drop him like a bag of bricks.

Ethem-Cailo’s attempts to woo her began to creep into unsavoryterritory, and eventually reached a point at which he repeatedly andshamelessly violated her wishes, her trust, and the boundaries she set for him.He was truly despicable to her near the end, after he crossed his moral eventhorizon, and since he was kind of in the Big Shoots Club, nobody did anythingabout it. Like I said, she even had to stab him, once, in self-defense. Henever raped her, but it got bad. By the time the present game rolled around,Celair was kind of hollowed out – too proud to just let any old fucker killher, but actively fighting with a deathwish. The home team reached out to herand offered her the chance to defect, giving her a timetable and a choice tomake. When she decided to make her move and defect, she did so too early out ofsheer panic and an oncoming mental breakdown… and the hasty exit causedMizzimet and Ophelnwol to lose the baby.

Right now, Celair is a little… inaccessible. She’s been through alot of crap, and hasn’t worked through any of it – staving off having apersonal reckoning in favor of drowning her pain and sorrow in the blood ofwhatever hapless bastards the Hunt puts in front of her. Now that she’sdefected, she’s buried under almost two and a half centuries of repression andendless bloodshed, and she doesn’t know who she is anymore. She wants to findher way back to the person that she was… but that person hasn’t reallyexisted for thousands of years even before the Hunt. Being forced to live inCustomer Service Mode against her wishes because the other members of herpantheon were too fucking lazy to figure out a better way took its toll on herlong before the Wild Hunt arrived. For the first time in a really really longtime she’s free to be whoever she wants to be… and that’s pretty heavy. Shehas a lot of trauma to unpack. I’m interested to see where she goes from here.

Why YouLove Them: She’sabout a billion tons of badass crammed into a 90-pound frame. I love Celairbecause she is so god damn defiant and so uncompromisingly competent and youwould have no idea from looking at her. I kinda love the concept of her; thistiny-looking fae elf with dragonfly wings and a dress made out of magic leaves,big ol’ doe eyes and soft wavy hair, but then you make the mistake of judgingher by appearance and she starts screaming at you and oh! Turns out she has amouth full of sharp teeth and she smokes and drinks and Stabs As A Warning.When she went to fight Dreamer, the despicable bastard responsible forsabotaging her escape pod and causing the accident that killed the baby, sheshowed up to the launch pad in full SWAT tactical gear with a shotgun, twopistols, and a grenade bandolier, ready to rock, and I love that image so much.I’m excited to work her through who she is now, because it’s a personcompletely different from who she was before, and a lot of it is going to beshaped by the way she interacts with the rest of the cast.

[leonbloder]

Everything Is Here

Recently, I read a poem by the Irish poet and theologian Padraig O'Tuama, and it resonated with me so much, I wrote it down, as I often do such things.  At the time I wasn't fully aware of why it resonated with me, but when I read it again today, it came to me.

First, let me share the poem:

there is no ending.

everything is here.

(so pitch a tent that you can live in

and find a friend to whom you'll give

in

times of telling

times of testing

times of listening

times of resting)

there is no ending.

everything is here.

Aside from the wonderful rhythm of the parenthetical part of the poem itself, the driving phrases speak volumes, don't they?

there is no ending.

everything is here.

When I read those words today, I happened to be on an airplane on my way to Florida to attend an event with my wife, whose law firm is one of the main sponsors.  

This is also the second time in my life when I found myself on a plane that was full of cheerleaders either heading to Orlando for a competition or returning from one.  

The last time it happened,  I  remember thinking that I was sure to be safe from any calamity because God would definitely not want a downed plane full of cheerleaders on God's ledger.  

I was only half-joking when I wrote down almost those very words in my journal almost ten years ago--words that would eventually find their way into my first book.  

This time I  find myself approaching the whole idea from a different perspective---one that has had ten years of maturity, a host of changes, and a couple of years spent having the entire world turned upside down.

As we flew over the Gulf of Mexico, the plane was shaken by hard turbulence, so much so that the flight attendants actually buckled up.  By the way, that's always my barometer as to how bad things are getting: whether or not the flight attendants are freaking out.

I decided that if I was meant to go out on a plane full of cheerleaders, so be it.  At least it would be an interesting way to go.  I also decided that God didn't really have anything to do with it.  God doesn't cause all things even though God gets blamed (for good or ill) by most of us.

We all need to start giving God a break on these kinds of things.  I know for me it has been liberating to give God a pass on all of the rough things that have been going on in the world lately, even though it's far too easy to do the exact opposite.  

I think God desires for us to do just that, and more besides.  I think God wants each of us to live in the moment--this moment right here.  God longs for us to be fully present in the naked now because this is what we have.  

There is an eternity in our present moments.  As the poem states, "there is no ending. everything is here."  This is hard to put our minds around, so instead of drifting into existential angst, we should just rest with these words on our lips.

Because this moment is holy, sacred and full of the glory of God and the beauty of Creation.  It's full of the light that shines within us, the divine spark that illuminates even the darkest parts of our hearts.  

We should pitch our tents in this moment, especially if we have people by our side who understand us perhaps even more than we understand ourselves.  We need companions who will listen, share, tell and sometimes just sit with us in silence.  

May you find the clarity and peace to be fully present in the moment today and every day from this day.  May you discover the glory of God all around you.  May you liberate God from your unrealistic expectations, and in so doing learn to enjoy God more.

May it be so, and may the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you now and always. Amen.  

[dweemeister]

Pyaasa (1957, India)

When a print of Guru Dutt’s Pyaasa arrived at the Mumbai offices of Ultra Media & Entertainment (a film distribution and production company), the incomplete negative had almost completely melted. One of the most popular and acclaimed landmarks of Hindi cinema (“Bollywood” to many of you) needed immediate restoration. Several months of clean-up ensued, and the restorationists submitted the newly-cleaned print to the 2015 Venice International Film Festival. Pyaasa now has a second life for cinephiles who want to explore more of Bollywood – although, for the very fact that Pyaasa feels like a socially and thematically subversive work for its time, it is not recommended for beginners. As Guru Dutt’s first film after starring in and directing Mr. & Mrs. ‘55 (1955), Pyaasa is a magnificent feat of artistry and certainly Dutt’s most cinematic movie that he had made by that juncture in his career.

Vijay (Dutt) is a struggling poet uninterested in composing the treacly love poems that publishers and the public are demanding. “You call this gibberish ‘poetry?’” asks one prospective publisher, “You must write poems about love.” Against the wishes of his mother (Leela Mishra), he avoids living at home, lest he subject to the demeaning insults from his brothers. One evening, Vijay is wandering the streets when he hears a prostitute named Gulabo (Waheeda Rehman) singing his poetry. He follows, but she pushes him away when she realizes he has no money. Gulabo will, after reading a paper dropped from Vijay’s pocket, deduce that the person she just banished is the poet whose works she is enamored with. Further bitterness and disappointment follow Vijay when he learns his ex-girlfriend Meena (Mala Sinha) has married a hotshot publisher, Mr. Ghosh (Rehman; no relation to Waheeda Rehman). Vijay will begin work for Ghosh as a servant, leading to a finale flushed with bitter lyricism. The film also stars Johnny Walker as Abdul Sattar, a massage oil salesman who serves as comic relief.

Having gone through two previous Guru Dutt films in chronological order, my initial experiences with the Bollywood superstar included the swashbuckling spectacle of Baaz (1953) and the social satire of Mr. & Mrs. ‘55 (1955). Those two films allowed me to see the trajectory of Dutt’s directorial and developing aesthetic senses. Thematically, there is little in those previous films that could have prepared me – or frequent moviegoers in India in 1957, really – for what Pyaasa brings. The film is primarily capturing the travails of a struggling poet who composes poetry unmarketable to the masses. His words tell not of sweeping romances or witticisms, but commentaries on how cruel and destitute the world can be – heartbreak, injustice. Some of his poetry is social protest; these words seeping into the film’s soundtrack as lyrics (more on this later). For Vijay, his poetry serves to cleanse his soul of cynicism; anyone who purports to enjoy his poetry is celebrated, but he is not focused on numbers and mass popularity (although a decent paycheck might help). Yet there are still moments of the romantic in Vijay, at least from the past. In a flashback from his college days just over twenty minutes in – this scene is poorly edited, and it was not until several minutes afterwards did I realize it was a flashback – he recites this:

When I walk, even my shadow lags behind. When you walk, the universe keeps pace. When I stop, clouds of misery gather. When you stop, spring’s radiance is outshone.

That is the extent we ever hear of Vijay’s romantic poetry. 1950s Bollywood films certainly approached topics of materialism, but none to the extent and serrated cutting edge of Pyaasa. Pyaasa never reaches Satyajit Ray-levels of despondent, soul-crushing resolutions; however, this movie is more willing than most working in Hindi-language cinema at the time to avoid a glossy or compromised ending. Credit to Dutt for overruling screenwriter Abrar Alvi – who lobbied for a compromised ending – for the film’s fearless final twenty minutes. Perhaps Vijay’s decisions in the closing stages are not the most enlightened or practical, but make sense given the character’s tenacity and Dutt’s desire for an unconventional finish.

Most remarkable about Alvi’s screenplay to Pyaasa is how Gulabo is treated. No matter where movies were produced in the 1950s – the United States, Europe, across Asia, and elsewhere – the depiction of prostitutes and sex workers was a lot to be desired. As great as the following two movies both released in 1957 are, Pyaasa treats Gulabo with more dignity than Nights of Cabiria (a film that, upon seeing it six years ago, helped me recognize some personally regressive attitudes towards sex workers and learn more about the topic) does with its titular character. The tendency, even now, is to morally punish a sex worker character in a film, to demean them for their sexual expression, or to portray them as tragic figures suffering through unimaginable conditions of abuse or poverty. None of these apply to Gulabo – always in control of her situation, comprehending almost fully what she wants most in life, and subordinate to no one. Her actions throughout Pyaasa are out of love for Vijay and Vijay’s work, but there is no sense of “belonging” to a man or a romantic ideal of fixing a broken soul. A broken Vijay does not deserve the familial, financial, and mental turmoil that he is struggling through, so Gulabo selflessly helps Vijay from the desperate depths of his own mind.

In a twist, Dutt and Alvi – in a certain way of looking at it without spoiling the film – take the main character out of the film about a half-hour before the conclusion. We see Vijay’s brothers attempting to soothe their pain over their mother’s recent death (unbeknownst to Vijay) with illicit payments from Ghosh. Ghosh – a publishing executive seeking to expunge any inconveniences of his pocketbook or his twisted conscience, has a dastardly plot to help only himself. Vijay, though separated from the narrative for several resolving scenes of Pyaasa, is disgusted with what he has seen and heard from his family, his employer, and probably countless others in the past. In the film’s final musical number, Vijay recites/sings:

This world of palaces, of kingdoms, this world of power, The enemies of humanity, this world of rituals, These men who crave wealth as their way of life, For what will it profit a man if he gains the world?

The returns diminish; a desire to acquire more feeds upon itself, destroying the moral groundings of all. Though Guru Dutt and Abrar Alvi probably did not have Buddhism on their minds, Vijay’s answer – articulated with the light illuminating his figure while facing the camera – to all he has seen is a weary enlightenment. In these final scenes, Vijay appears as if he has ascended to a higher plane of existence, knowledge, and perhaps spirituality.

Cinematographer V.K. Murthy (a Dutt regular, having shot Mr. & Mrs. ‘55 and 1959′s Kaagaz Ke Phool) improves upon his previous collaborations with Dutt here. Murthy is the most important person that makes Pyaasa – by some distance – the most aesthetically enthralling movie that Dutt had directed by this point. Whether dealing with flashbacks, fantasies, or reality (or even surrealistic touches to reality, which is something that is unexpected, but contributes to the feeling Vijay is not entirely present in the corporeal world), Murthy provides gorgeous deeply-staged shots with dollied close-ups that, in less-assured hands, might come off as corny but instead heighten the dramatic stakes. But Murthy is not helped by editor Y.G. Chawhan, who handles scene transitions poorly and bungles the first hour’s flashback by not properly announcing that it is a flashback.

As an actor, this is Dutt’s most trying performance. After playing romantic leads Mr. & Mrs. ‘55 and Baaz, this performance in Pyaasa is worlds apart from his past. By the midpoint, Vijay sees nothing but the corruption of the world and is doing little to improve his situation. Vijay is Dutt’s least dynamic protagonist I have encountered thus far, but that does not devalue his character’s suffering and that inimitable way Dutt broods and listens or observes to other characters. Dutt’s character suffers silently; his performance is never labored, but enriched by his naturalistic acting. Waheeda Rehman, appearing in one of her first films as a leading actress (the role of Gulabo was originally intended for Madhubala), is stunning – her charm prevents Pyaasa’s existential and anti-materialistic themes from landing with a thud that might have excited some European auteurs at the time. Her appearance is undermined by the lengthy flashback that takes her out of the film’s first hour after one hell of an introduction.

Pyaasa includes a spellbinding musical score from composer S.D. Burman and lyricist Sahir Ludhiyanvi. But considering that the songs are built around Vijay’s poetry and the plot concerns his struggles, Burman’s music is secondary to Ludihyanvi’s lyrics – Ludihyanvi himself was primarily a poet who wrote in Hindi and Urdu. There are fewer musically spellbinding back-and-forths like “Udhar Tum Haseen Ho” in Mr. & Mrs. ‘55. For Pyaasa, poetry recital serves as musical performance for the film’s most interesting songs. Waheeda Rehman’s one hell of an introduction in “Jane Kya Tune Kahi” – where Gulabo (Waheeda Rehman was dubbed by Geeta Dutt) recites Vijay’s poetry back to him without knowing the fellow in front of her was the author – sets everything forward. This alluring misunderstanding of a song introduces the romantic tensions early, eliminating any annoying teases that might distract from the film’s larger themes. The climactic “Yeh Duniya Agar Mil Bhi Jaye To” defines the film, with its stunning, poetic lyrics, and is as context-dependent as original songs can be in cinema. Layers of meaning also sung earlier in “Jane Woh Kaise Log The” (behind the aforementioned song, it serves as the second-best poetry recital as performance) are expanded upon.

Less acclaimed from Bollywood fans but appealing to yours truly (I am grounded in Western musicals) is a fantasy sequence within a flashback: “Hum Aapki Aankhon Mein”. Sung by Vijay (Mohammad Rafi dubbing Guru Dutt) and Meena (Geeta Dutt dubbing from Mala Sinha), it is a song of budding love in a setting only possible in dreams. Or a soundstage, I guess. With maybe too many smoke machines concealing their feet, Vijay and Meena dance together with a gracefulness not out of place in any place that values the transporting nature of musicals. Johnny Walker (dubbed by Rafi), who is weirdly adorable in his comic relief roles, is endearing in “Sar Jo Tera Chakraye” while trying to sell his oil massages to passers-by. With the exception of these two, almost the entire Burman-Ludhiyanvi score draws its operatic-like drama from the plot – so make sure to concentrate a bit more on the lyrics than usual for Hindi-language movies.

For some cinephiles who have not yet ventured into Bollywood but have seen Bengali films (probably Satyajit Ray’s movies), Pyaasa might be an ideal point of entry for its combination of Bollywood escapism and Bengali-inspired parallel cinema. For everyone else, Pyaasa will be an anomalous, but memorable entry into the Hindi cinema canon.

Pyaasa translates to “thirsty” in English. That might not be the most appealing title, but it reflects Vijay’s craving for a righteous, altruistic world that just does not exist. How much of Vijay was a reflection of Guru Dutt is a point of speculation – Dutt, an advocate of social justice, seems to have enjoyed more creative freedom in Pyaasa that was not apparent in his previous films. His political voice is more pronounced here than ever before, showcasing an artist displaying a mature understanding of the medium he wields. At thirty-two years of age the year of the film’s release, Guru Dutt shows a confidence that belies his youth. It results perhaps not in a call to action, but to show us a response by a man so completely dedicated to his craft.

My rating: 9.5/10

^ Based on my personal imdb rating. Half-points are always rounded down. My interpretation of that ratings system can be found here.

[jadbalja]

#oldprofilebegging

Limited time offer! Single ___ male, over-educated, witty, liquid, fit for yard work, carrying your bags, snuggles. Good condition, slight wear and tear around the edges. Only $5.99 plus applicable taxes. Call now and save an additional 20%. If you call within the next 10 minutes, we will add this [[Extra Baggage]], absolutely free! Supplies are limited*. So call or send a message. Smooth operators are standing by. Call now!

Arranging it into pretty mosaics. Applying to migrate to the [[Off-World Colonies]]. Using tweet hashtags ironically.

Enabling alien invasions. Entertaining you. Eating pizza and listening to cheesy 80s pop. Sleeping on planes. Coup d'etat. Miraculously saving small African nations from ruin. Making friends with your dog. Making enemies with your cat.

The halo which drifts over my head. This sometimes interferes with cellphone reception.

The Cinema, I like. Ozu, [[Godard]], Resnais, [[Lynch]], [[Kieslowski]], [[Kar-Wai]], Varda, [[Truffaut]], Tarr, and [[Cronenberg]]. Hmm, though - I also like [[Star Trek]]/Wars. Sometimes I scream 'Tonight, we dine in hell!' at unsuspecting patrons of the local [[Chipotle]].

I fancy [[science-fiction]] and [[graphic novels]], having checked out of the "reality-based community" (pace K. Rove). I also like magic realism - in the past: [[Borges]], [[Pessoa]], and [[Bradbury]]. I consume a lot of magazines. If all media is biased, I prefer the liberal variety (NYT). I would like to have [[Rachel Maddow]]'s children. I even think she can impregnate me.

I currently spin [[minimal techno]], atmospheric [[drum and bass]], and odd European quirkiness on my iPod. But I also veer dangerously between abstract, modernist jazz, and any densely lyrical orchestral, chamber, or instrumental pieces (lately, Bartók and Villa-Lobos). I frequently lapse into classic rock, New Romantics, [[Smiths]], intelligent hip-hop, and [[90s grunge]]. Don't you just love the music of [[Van den Budenmayer]]? I may not know your indie band du jour, but I can pretend.

unwritten novels, [[my separate selves]], childhood dreams, the empty road, an authentic life, love.

"Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down." H. Gallagher

debating the semiotics of [[Princess Mononoke]]; the dialectics of class war in [[Almodovar]]'s early oeuvre; problems of [[social democratic]] movements in Western Europe; [[Snooki]] vs. JWoww; the darkness in [[Robert del Naja]]'s worldview; whether [[tactical nuclear weapons]] have a role in curing suburban blight; Michelle Obama's dresses; why people suck; why people rule; [[Adorno]]'s problematique of aesthetics as a vehicle for existential emancipation and other examples of the humor of the [[Frankfurt School]]; the [[fiscal deficit]] (solution: 'Jesus saves, I spend'); [[frilly lace panties]]; the mechanics of the dating market and [[Houellebecq]]'s international sexual economy; strawberries vs. blueberries; [[Plath]] vs. Hughes; and other issues of the day. We should probably slip in a drink or two as well.

will shake empires and crumble mountains.

You have dimples. You preach to the birds and fish are known to obey you. You rested on the Seventh Day. Sunlight is captured in your hair. You wrote a poem or two and inspired more. You make puppies roll over and scratch their bellies. Tiny whirlwinds accompany your movements. Little children are not afraid to tease you. 'Your eyes have their silence'. Your end is not nigh. You laughed. You cried. And you made everything all right.

<irony>Please lack wit, any remarkable physical features, creativity, and eclectic tastes. I like uniformity, I have decided. The search for someone with 'personality' (whaat ees eet?) is wearing me down. Please have a morbid opinion about the November elections and the future of the sociopolitical situation.

You may have replaced personality with singleminded ambition in your job (this is why I think doctors are preferred), shut down your sexual drive till your biological clock protests, and embraced the glories of cheap sarcasm.

I look forward to hearing from you. Whenever you get around to it. Take your time.</irony>

[kxlebcross]

[ odd numbers, onegaishimasu! 🐱 ]

i cant believe u once again made me google what odd numbers are XD 

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

bring me the horizon - 1x1 ( ft. nova twins ) ashnikko - cry ( ft. grimes ) machine gun kelly - misery business  lexie liu - like a mercedes gazelle twin - unflesh bloo, nafla - nae tat

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

“for a time he just stood there in the pantry, wondering how long it would take before berger came to join him” ( david lagercrantz: the girl in the spider’s web )

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

"boop :3″

7: What’s your strangest talent?

my what, excuse me XD no idea tbh

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

lmfaoooo no, absolutely not

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

not really, just the usual fear of spiders XD

13: What’s your religion?

im an atheist, considering apostasy 

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind, pls never put me in front of one thanx <3

17: What was the last lie you told?

“i’m fine really”

19: What does your URL mean?

its bring me the horizons newest albums title jdhfkgjkd without the survival horror part

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

colson baker hdfkjg and no im not taking any criticism on it thank u

23: How do you vent your anger?

i dont, i just listen to angry music until it passes

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

neither, pls never call me just shoot a text my way

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

i really hate little children crying; and love when cats make that lil prrrr noise when u wake them up

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

i actually saw a ghost once, lolz. and i guess aliens r fine? i mean theres no way were alone in the universe right?

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

vanilla cigarette smoke XD back on my bad habits baby

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

no idea, first i should see both XD sorry im an european

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

ugh lets not get this existential shall we? never thought about it tbh, let me just live a life from one day to another without searching for a meaning

37: Do you believe in luck?

yea, if that wouldnt exist i wouldve probably lost my license ages ago XD

39: What time is it?

11:14pm

41: What was the last book you read?

wang xiaobo’s love in revolution, for one of my classes

43: Do you have any nicknames?

actually, no

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

all my joints r fucked up baby <3 im a walking injury

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

bring me the horizon’s new album, and that movie, ‘the hater’

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

oooh boy absolutely... not gonna elaborate tho as it involves some potentially triggering topics - but dont worry, i didnt do shit, it was just a rumor started by someone who couldnt make their peace with the fact that i wasnt in love with them :’)

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

yeah, i believe in ‘forgive but never forget’ - except that the forgiveness part rarely ever works tbh

53: Do you save money or spend it?

usually spend, but i can save up when necessary

55: Love or lust?

can i have both? 

57: How many relationships have you had?

three and every single one ended badly jhdfjkg maybe im just not made for that stuff

59: Where were you yesterday?

mostly at home, except for that 10 minutes when i went out to buy 6 energy drinks and some chocolate

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

ya, pastel pink ones with little lemons on them :)

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

don’t have one, if they like me thats cool, if not then sucks for me i guess

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

ugh im not gonna expose that??? wtf but ur one of them <3

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

i was already in bed, scrolling reddit or instagram and chilling with my cat

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

who didn’t? honestly

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

fuck this job im saving the dog

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

i choose trust thank u

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

3322

77: How can I win your heart?

be kind, send me cat pics and memes and buy me food and ill love u forever

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

moving out from my mother <3 dont get me wrong i love her but shes a little bit too much usually

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

“finally”

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

that one line from bring me the horizon’s follow you, “cross my heart and hope to die”

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

hat trick by lexie liu

87: What is your current desktop picture?

its an art of ahri from league of legends, found it on alphacoders kjdhf

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

if some people asked me how i feel about them djkfhgkjdf lmfao never ask me about my feelings thanx

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

mind reading

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

my whole childhood jkdfhg

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

to some secluded place at the end of the world :) or iceland lol

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

when i was a kid XD thank god i grew out of motion sickness

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

be gay, do crimes, eat the rich, acab, fuck the government, peace.