#existence as a black man. as well as his intense hatred for fatness and his body. AS WELL AS how much he hides himself for fear of being

[klugpuuo]

in my Primary AU:tm: of sammax, the duo fuse with their alternate timeline dead selves, gaining all the memories and cleanly explaining the frequent references to max's 'latent psychic powers' and turning into a kaiju despite the fact that the max who actively knew abt those things was ultra super hyper duper dead. and though i'm not quite sure about how i'll portray sam's Melding Fusion with his past self, i'm absolutely certain that i want to portray max's fusion with his future-present self as something akin to integration in systems

we hc max as a system maybe a bit excessively, but like how could we not when the vices are very much a thing.,..

anyway. we've sorta been thinking of portraying present/future max as a being more or less made up entirely of trauma.

max (and sam!) are extremely traumatized, but one way or another they Deal With It. they make jokes about it, heal in weird wacky ways, or just find a way to ignore or get over it without much fuss (or bury it so deep down they're convinced they don't have it but that's another post entirely)

i've been enjoying my idea of present-future max basically being stuck in time for a while, not able to think or really process Anything as he put himself back together and reformed his spirit. while usually max was able to just continue past his trauma, present max was very literally unable to, so when he Does manage to come back, and he sees sam moved on without him. uh yeah

i kinda lost where i was going w this but basically i think past max would see all the pain and jealousy and rage that he bottled up for ages in present max and present max would be envious of past max;s continued ability to hide his thoughts and feelings and that their later fusion would be them both coming to terms with all the shit they've gone through and deciding to try and Work Through It instead of brute force it, however much they'd despise doing so lmao

would also probably be a very sure sign that they're getting old but oh well .

[tweenw]

Claw Marks-(Derek Hale)

Characters: Scott McCall, Kali, Erica Reyes, Derek Hale and (Y/N)

Pairing: none, hint at Derek Hale x Reader

Warnings: Swearing and mentions of Erica’s death

Word Count: 1964

Summary: A month after Erica’s death, Derek offers the bite to her best friend, (Y/N).

Day 23, and I still find it hard to leave my room to go have a shower unless I get forced by my mother. It’s been 23 days and I still have dreams with her, whether it be the first day in kindergarten when I met first met her, or when she miraculously started getting better from her epilepsy. But by far the worst are the nightmares in which she dies. You could say that my best friends death has effected me pretty bad, rendering me practically useless. 

I run my hand through my now-dry hair as I look at photos of Erica and I from the week before her body showed up. It’s us at Starbucks, both smiling at the camera. She’s holding her pumpkin spice latte and I’m holding my hot chocolate. Looking at the photo daily has made me immune to the tears that used to come. Now I just stare at it blankly. 

There’s a knock of my window which makes me jump out of my skin and almost makes me scream. I look behind me to see a man standing outside of my window, a grim look on his face. 

I slowly stand up from my bed and walk towards the window where he’s standing. In any other situation, I would not open the window for a strange man that’s trying to get in, but I know this guy. Erica used to hang out with him a lot. I think his name’s Derek?

I slide the window open and walk back a little so he can climb in. He looks a little awkward, he’s totally out of place right now, with his boots and leather jacket in a baby-blue room with some posters up and about. 

“What are you doing here?” I ask, the first question of many to come. Why’s he here? What does he want? How well did he know Erica? Was he even at her funeral?

Derek shifts awkwardly so I just point to the window seat and the two of us sit down. He looks uneasy, like he’s ready to fight or flight. 

“I’m Derek. I’m here because there were some things you didn’t know about Erica that maybe you should.Things she’d want you to know, (Y/N).” He says, causing a chill to run up my spine involuntarily. What could he possibly tell me about my best friend that I don’t already know? I raise my eyebrows, silently telling him to go on. Whatever it is he has to say, I probably already know. It’s not like Erica and I had secrets between each other.

Derek stands up and takes his leather jacket off, placing it next to me. He then kicks off his boots and begins to take his shirt off. I quickly jump up and turn around to shut the curtains so nobody will see. Is he insane? What is he doing?

“Are your parents home?” He asks as he stops at his belt buckle. Rationally, I should be scared. Some random guy who knew Erica is stripping in front of me and asking me if my parents are home. And yeah, maybe red alarms should be going off inside my mind, but something tells me that he won’t hurt me.

I hesitantly nod but I don’t sit back down. His intention may not be to hurt me, but my fight or flight senses are razor sharp. 

Hesitantly, he pulls his jeans down and kicks them aside. Weird and possibly threatening situation aside, he’s quite attractive. He’s got the whole package, attractive face and a body to die for. And he doesn’t seem to be a cunt either, so there’s that.

“You might want to step back.” He whispers, and the desolate tone of his voice makes me oblige. 

The next minute is a blur that when I later look back at, makes me weak at the knees and wonder how I didn’t pass out when I seen it. His limbs tangle as they impossibly merge together, the sound of bones snapping and cracking fills the silent room. Ears are no longer human ears, hands are no longer human hands, Derek is no longer Derek. The snapping of bones ceases, and in front of me stands a black dog. No, a black wolf with bright blue eyes. 

Shakily, I take a step towards the wolf that was Derek mere minutes ago and reach out to touch him, to see if he’s real, to cease my terrifying thoughts. Is this real? Are the anti-depressants making me hallucinate the wolf in front of me? The whole ordeal with Derek? Am I asleep or awake?

But those thoughts all disappear as soon as my skin makes contact with the wolves fur. It’s soft, sort of like a German Sheppard's. The wolf, or Derek, looks up at me with curious eyes, probably mimicking me. Is this what Erica was hiding? A whole new world invisible to the naked eye? Was she like Derek? Could she turn? What even is Derek?

I drop down to my knees and gently run my hand across the wolves face, scratching it’s ear and marvelling at it’s beauty. The eyes look burdened, like they’ve seen things they’re not proud of. They’re so bright, so beautiful. My other hand comes up to pet the wolf too, and for a brief moment, it’s like the rest of the world doesn’t exist. Like the last month hasn’t happened. It’s just the wolf and I, and nothing else matters. 

Of course, I snap back into reality when the wolf in front of me starts to grown and shake and snap. I let my hands drop but don’t move away. This time there isn’t any bone snapping or crunching, there’s just suddenly a naked Derek. 

My body reacts quick as I dive for the jacket he took off beforehand and pass it to him without looking. My hand shakes slightly, there’s never been a naked guy in my room so I don’t really know what to do. I stay facing away from him until I hear the zip of his jeans go up. I turn around once again but take a seat on the ground. If I kept standing I’m pretty sure my knees would give away. 

So this is what Erica was hiding. Was she one of them, or did she just know about them? What exactly is ‘them’? Werewolves? My head pounds. I notice the claw marks on the floor that Derek left behind. 

“I know this is a lot to take in, but I’m here to answer any questions you have. And I also have a proposal.” Derek says and sits down in front of me, legs crossed and a look of understanding on his face. 

I rub my eyes for a second, trying to make sense of what just happened. Derek is not human, he’s a werewolf. And so was Erica, I’m pretty sure. Is the entire group that hangs out with Scott McCall involved with this? Are they like Derek? Can they all change into a full wolf?

“Okay, fuck. I don’t even know where to start.” I laugh humorlessly and look back up at Derek, who seems more comfortable that when he came in. Probably something to do with the fact that I seen him shape shift into a fucking wolf.

He just stays quiet, obviously knowing that I’m a little bit overwhelmed. 

“Right. So was Erica like you? Could she.. Could she do that too?” I ask, my voice catching a little. Speaking about her hurts. Speaking about her in past tense hurts even more.

“Not exactly. She couldn’t shift fully like I just did. But she could still get halfway.” Derek says. I just nod and take the information in. 

“So is the silver and full moon all bullshit?” I manage a small smile at which Derek chuckles, a soft and melodic sound, which somehow puts me at ease. It’s like as long as he’s here, I have nothing to worry about. I wish we’d meet under different circumstances.

“Yes, the wonders Hollywood does to get money. The only moon that effects us is the Lunar Eclipse, when we’re powerless. But other than that, yeah its bullshit.”

A hundred other quiestions prod at my mind, begging to be asked and answered. And as much as I want to bombard the man in front of me with all of these questions, they can wait. 

“What is the proposal?” I ask, brows furrowing. I’ve seen enough terrible teen movies to know that it can’t be anything good. 

Derek looks around my room until he spots a photo of Erica and I on my bedside desk. It’s from a few months ago when we were at the cinema to see her favourite movie. Derek stands up and walks to pick the frame up. He studies the photo for a few seconds before a light smile appears on his face and he sets the photo back down. 

“Erica didn’t die from a bear attack. It was an Alpha pack that killed her. Kali, to be more specific. Do you want to know why she wanted the bite? To be like me?” Derek slowly paces around my room, hands in his jacket pocket as his eyes roam the walls. 

I feel my throat tighten a little at the new information. Somehow, that makes me feel worse. More mad, more angered that someone did that to her. The flame in my stomach grows. 

When I don’t answer, Derek turns around to look at me. His expression in unreadable. 

“She was tired of being defenceless, of not being able to fight for herself and protect those around her. She was tired of being the, how did she put it, ‘epileptic fat bitch with a target on her back’. I gave her the choice of the bite. She could take it, but there would be a 50% chance she might die. Or she could continue her life the way it is. She chose the first.”

The flame in the pit of my stomach burns brighter, more intensely. The feeling of hatred and disgust floods my mouth, bitter, acidic. I want to call him out on lying, of course Erica wouldn’t say that about herself. But I know she would, without hesitation. The Erica I knew, even before her epilepsy suddenly disappeared, was consumed with self-hatred and anger. She would take the opportunity. 

“I’m here to offer you the bite. You’d become my beta, would train with me and you could help me avenge her death by killing Kali. You’d be stronger, faster and your sight and hearing would improve. There’s other perks too. Of course, there’s still a chance you might not make it. Or you could refuse and stay living the way you live now.” Derek takes a seat in front of me once again, eyes scanning me, awaiting my reaction. 

I could kill the monster who killed Erica. I could finally feel at peace, I could become a better version of myself. I could immerse myself in this new world and forget about this old, boring and washed out one. The fire burns, brighter and louder as it climbs up my body. 

Slowly, I hold out my hand. Derek takes it gently and brings it up to his mouth. 

“Are you sure? There’s no going back after I do this.” He asks, his voice soft, almost comforting. It soothes me. 

I nod my head and close my eyes, awaiting the bite that will change my entire life, hopefully for the better. As his teeth sink into my forearm, the fire engulfs me and a scream erupts from deep within. The noises around me cease, the cars on the street are no longer there, the buzzing of the light bulb ceases to exist, and so does the old (Y/N) (Y/L/N). 

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@superhero-lover101  @jannalionheart