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blasphemecel · 11 months ago

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Shidou Ryuusei — Like Teeth

PAIRING: Shidou Ryuusei/Reader WORD COUNT: 3.6k TYPE: Humor, Feelings realization, idfk what this even is but i threw in some surprise fluff at the end WARNING(S): Nsfw jokes but cmon it's shidou you gotta forgive me for finding sex funny this once, play-fighting that doesn't seem very playful, canon-typical mental illness, canon-typical unnecessary dramatics, canon-typical overly intense soccer rivalry NOTE: Reader is a part of the blue lock project but no concrete gender identity or pronouns are specified

It starts like this:

After the freaky nerd from the ceremony whose name you hadn’t bothered remembering finishes with his instructions about this game of tag you’re supposed to be playing, the biggest asshole in the room immediately targets you once he realizes you’re the one with the highest number on your jersey. You trap the ball with ease and then kick it straight into his face with as much power as you can muster, knocking him out, the force sending him reeling.

While the timer continues ticking, no one dares to make a move or even exhale too loudly in your presence, scared you might take their bodily functions as a challenge to your authority. Like every opponent before, they’ve submitted to you.

You stare at the ceiling, your lips set in a tight line, the despair settling in. Just this once, you want to meet someone who can excite you, and you’d hoped this ridiculous place could help.

___

As the top scorer of your pathetic excuse for a team — though behind your back they call you ‘the top red card holder,’ but considering how far up your own ass your head is, you’re yet to pay attention to this remark — by the second qualifying match they already know to pass the ball to you no matter what. In your defense, you’re not any more tyrannical than the average douche in this competition. It’s not your fault they’re too worthless to do what you can.

Two of the opponents are blocking your path, and you shuffle the ball between your feet trying to get the positioning right while they attempt to steal it. Everyone is making noises, but they never mean anything to you. You back up once you’ve felt that the stars have aligned and strike the ball through the tight opening between their bodies, taking the first goal of the match.

“You’re good!”

You blink, the words bringing you out of your perpetual trance to look at the guy in front of you. He starts rambling some nonsense about explosions and how he’s going to beat the ass of anyone who can’t give a good show and you think at some point he has started finding new roundabout ways of saying that he basically wants to bust a nut on the field. It is absurd. You understand it down to your bones, except maybe the last thing. For the first time, everything is coming into view. You can make out his face and you can hear his words and you see your teammates in your peripheral vision. How you didn’t notice him before, what with the hairstyle and his cartoonishly beautiful eyelashes, you’re not sure, but you’ve never been more present during a game before.

“Alright, gyaru,” you say. “Show me how you explode.”

“Gyaru?” he tilts his head, grin wide like a demon’s. “You think I’m pretty?”

Though Jinpachi Ego officially writes down what ensues as a round-robin tourney in his notes, the spectators (meaning literally anyone else who was in your physical proximity) would describe it as ‘The Longest Dick Measuring Contest They’ve Ever Seen.’

The way he moves fascinates you like nothing else. Just like you, he is a creature of instinct. You both circle around while trying to score or steal the ball, only to find that stopping the other is impossible.

After this match, two monsters glance at each other and think, ‘Maybe there is someone out here who understands me.’

___

There are still jitters in your veins. You can’t sleep. Is it ridiculous and maybe parasocial that the thought of ‘I want to see this guy again’ is keeping you up at night? Yeah, probably. You also feel like a creep lying down in the dark with your eyes wide open, yearning to bulldoze through something like you do when you want to calm down.

Frustrated, you slip out of the futon and leave the room while the rest of them are sleeping. The hallways let out ominous flickers, trailing after you while your steps echo and bounce off the walls. This building looks like a prison, you think, though you hadn’t noticed before.

You hate to think that your desperation is so strong you’ve developed the power of manifestation overnight, but when you step inside of the training room, he’s already there. He doesn’t have the decency to seem surprised at your entrance when you close in on him. His arms are crossed and he has a smug aura about him, but for the love of everything you cannot comprehend why he’s standing there doing nothing. At least you planned on being productive when you headed here with your plan to obliterate whatever you could get your hands on. Just so happens it’s him that you found.

The weird silence stretches, but it doesn’t bother either of you because as it turns out you have the same kind of social incompetence. You realize you don’t even know the guy’s name, but he declares, “You really came.”

You don’t really know what he means by this considering you didn’t arrange to meet here beforehand, but he’s saying it as if this was some unanimous agreement you came to earlier. “Waiting for me in the middle of the night all by yourself, handsome?”

“Every cell in my body was calling out to yours,” he says as if it explains anything. His expression is bordering on maniacal. Anyone else might’ve realized this was a bad idea, read the warning signs, but to someone like you who has lived their entire life sleepwalking, the excitement of such a strange encounter is addictive. “We’re the same… That’s why you felt it.”

“In that case, please avoid summoning me so late,” you say. “I value good sleep.”

He cannot tell if you’re just taking the piss or if you’re on the same page, but it’s rare that anyone entertains him when he says anything of that nature. To him, this is an amusing turn of events. “They say you’re some kinda unhinged delinquent. ‘s that true?”

“Sure, if that’s what you call putting a few sorry bums down in their place after they crossed me.”

“So you know how to scrap too, right?”

Right now, Shidou Ryuusei is like a kid at the candy store. You can’t discern any reason for him to swing at you, but he does, smiling all the while. After you respond to his provocation with a duck and a kick of your own — you avoid using your hands for anything if you can avoid it, finding it beneath you — you decide to consider this your friendly introduction to each other.

If he wants to coax the crazy out of you with his punches, then you’re trying to get him to settle down every time you retaliate, daring him to pipe down and turn boring just like everyone else. You’re not sure for how long you duke it out, but at some point you grow sloppy, and the last you remember of it before succumbing to your exhaustion is the last round of boneless slaps you offered each other.

___

Two of your teammates hatefully watch you and Shidou from across the cafeteria. You’re a selfish and insensitive person, of course, they know that. Before this, you’d always eat alone, but ever since the match where they were forced to watch you two flex on them, you’d hang out with him. Still, “I can’t believe [L/n] would rather have a romantic dinner with the only goddamn bastard in this goddamn building who gets better meals than share with us! I’m sick of this natto.”

“You’re telling me,” the other boy says, sadly eating a radish.

This must be an advanced form of psychological torture administered by Ego himself. Even if you don’t notice the audience, Shidou seems to be reveling in the negative attention. They can only watch and drool while you two push at each other and try to steal ingredients. At some point, you put Shidou in a suplex, making him cough out something. Then he wrestles his way out of your maneuver and shoves your head into your plate, forces you up again, and licks the food off your face while you scowl at him.

“I’d hardly call that a romantic dinner, though.”

“A guy from blondie’s team said he caught them asleep on top of each other in the training facility once.”

“Do you think they’re-?!”

“Oh my god, they’re…!”

They scream and point at each other and then hug as if traumatized. To add insult to injury, your voice rings from afar, “Are your eyes really pink? There’s no way that’s natural,” while some of the sauce still sticks to your skin.

“What? You think I’m some kinda fake?” asks Shidou, apparently offended.

“I’m gonna expose you, trust.”

How are you blowing everyone in your cell out of the water in terms of performance? You have to be the dumbest person in this entire wing.

___

“I want you,” he says.

Granted, this is out of context, but you still find that the words have some effect on you. But this won’t do no matter how hard you want to give in. With the first stage of the second selection cleared, you can’t continue as you are. You’ve been complacent in your talent. To expand your abilities, you need to observe whatever other powerful players there are in here instead of still chasing after him. Even the wet wipes on your old team have started catching up.

Besides, you’d always thought your appeal to him is as an opponent, someone who he wants on the other side of the field to face off against, and now Shidou is demanding to work together with you.

“I was in a coma before I met you,” you say. He pinches his eyebrows together, which is probably the first time you’ve seen him pull such an expression. To think you have the ability to utter something so strange, it weirds out even Shidou. “You pulled me out of it, but now I need to see other things, too.”

“If you tell me you wanna go watch other guys, I might get jealous.” Despite the initial waver, he sticks his tongue out at you, trying to be playful like always.

“Don’t say things you don’t mean.”

Shidou grabs you by the collar of your jersey and pushes you against the wall. You blink at him, finding this an inappropriate time for a spar seeing as this is regular enough for him, but then he invades your personal space in a way which doesn’t feel particularly combative, your noses brushing against each other, and he blatantly glances at your lips before closing his eyes. You don’t think about it when you pull him in by the neck, your body reacting to his cues.

It’s not even that great, he’s not really being effective at what he’s doing, mashing your mouth against his almost pointlessly, teeth clashing and all before moving far too quickly onto the tonguing part of making out. Your nails are digging into his neck and his hold against your waist is tight enough to bother you. There’s a latent aggression in it like there is in any other interaction between you two.

And you don’t enjoy this for the surface-level sensations but rather for the strange tightness in your chest, the headrush, the closeness where somehow he’s enveloping you and you’re enveloping him at the same time and it feels like you’re about to fuse. You don’t want to let go yet, maybe under the assumption that if you keep kissing him, he’s going to be polite and return your breath to you.

Steps come near the entrance of the hallway and then, “Ah! Uhhh…”

You snap out of it and push Shidou off of you. He has the gall to look offended, glaring.

There’s some puny kid with a buzz cut, standing there with his confusion clear on his face. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt, uh… whatever it was you were doing!” he says in a panic, waving his hands back and forth.

Yeah, that’s a good point. What the fuck were you doing? You just jumped at each other on instinct, ruled by some bizarre, mysterious need.

It must be because the air is so charged between you. Shidou is always in overdrive and he has a penchant for pulling you into his madness. You’re always doing something when you’re together — trading blows, trying to show the other up in soccer, saying heavy-handed things for no reason — and now a moment of stagnancy happened and you both turned into even bigger morons than usual.

He didn’t think about it either, you’re sure. Besides, even if you’re a crazy bastard on the field, you’re not like him. Shidou will meet even stronger players once he advances and he’ll move onto his next obsession. This doesn’t mean anything, at least not to him, you’re convinced.

You untangle yourself from him and ram your shoulder into his as goodbye before lamely saying, “I’m going now,” and offering a nonchalant wave.

He frowns before kicking imaginary dust off the floor. “Sure, fine. Be this way!”

Igaguri isn’t super puritanical or anything. Yeah, he grew up in a temple and all, but seeing two people kiss doesn’t offend his sensibilities. What freaked him out was how you managed to make it look like a fight while you were going at it, and like, he knows the hallway was deserted before he came out of thin air, but this is still a public place. Whatever happened to shame?

And now he has to be in the same vicinity as this scary guy who’s glaring daggers at the spot you were standing in, vein bursting out of his forehead and all, as if you ruined his life by walking out of here. He looks like a manchild who’s sulking because his mom forgot to make him chicken nuggies. A bead of nervous sweat rolls down his forehead.

___

Ever since the beginning, Isagi has been honing his technique, always hungry to add another skill to his repertoire. Rin and Shidou have no synergy; fine, he thinks, it’s not like he really even wants to set up a goal using them. It’s not enough to satisfy him anymore, not after the last match. He’d much rather score himself.

But the problem with the spatial awareness he has developed is that he can’t turn it off at will, or say ‘la-la-la’ and ignore something to focus on what’s important.

Well, being on the same stage as you and Shidou has to be the worst thing of all time. He wants to smell a goal for himself, but the most likely chemical reaction he can predict is one between you two, and you’re not even on the same team. It’s like a ticking time bomb, like those explosions Shidou has been vaguely rambling about, and it permeates the air.

You’ve started adapting his bodily control and precision, almost coming close to scoring with your back on the net. And Shidou has managed to pull off one of ridiculously tight angled shots to break through a two-on-one, passing the ball to Rin. If the phenomenon Isagi observed and achieved before is ‘consumption,’ then he has a first row seat to watch you two cannibalize each other.

The most unfortunate thing is the chase. The ball will come to you, but Shidou will steal it. He’ll be in the air ready to strike, but you’ll sabotage him from below. Isagi recognizes this as an unconscious prediction — on a molecular level, you know where the other one will be, and you’ll race there. It’s like he’s watching both of you swing neon signs and desperately scream ‘Please look at me!’ and overall beg for attention while also stubbornly refusing to make eye contact in fear of rejection.

It is revolting. He wants to gag.

Sure, Ego talked about how luck is a skill and how a pro takes advantage of it, but he never mentioned what to do when someone on his team is living through a low-rated soap opera episode with an opponent. With all of the emotional constipation among the participants of this godforsaken project, he’s sure this won’t be the last time he’ll need it.

___

Sitting down in the middle of practice isn’t productive, but you’re ‘taking a break,’ by which you mean you want to snap someone’s neck. It’s been boring again, ever since Shidou started disregarding your presence. You’re even on the same team now and it’s like you’re no better than air to him.

Of course, you’d predicted he’d find someone new to excite him. You just hadn’t anticipated it’d hurt your feelings. Why do you care, anyway? You should be used to this. The soccer you’ve played has always been selfish and lonely, and moping and jealousy are below you.

But during the match against U-20, you saw him look at Itoshi Sae the same way he first looked at you on the day you met, spouting nonsense with his unique expert-level yappery. And you don’t like that. You don’t like it at all.

He’s off doing his own thing again when you search for him with your eyes. You stand up.

And then you don’t think at all, breaking out into a sprint at full speed.

You’re behind him in the matter of a minute or so, slipping your foot between his and kicking the ball overhead so it lands behind him. He bristles, perhaps at your unwanted company, but you’ve already turned on your heel to run in the other direction.

You’re dribbling the ball when you glance over your shoulder. He’s onto you, trademark grin on his face. You’re not even sure what you’re trying to accomplish here, but all that comes to mind is, It doesn’t matter if it’s going way too fast or way too hard anymore. Just chase after me one more time.

You’re almost all the way over to the other goal, maintaining your lead, when Shidou kicks the ball after lunging around your side. It slips off half-assedly, but you don’t have much time to mock him for his technique because he grabs you by the wrists and pins you down, straddling you to the ground.

“That’s a foul,” you say, displeased.

“I don’t care.” His smile is so big you feel like he’s going to need to visit an orthodontist after you’re done here. The annoying strands of hair he keeps loose are hovering near your face, taunting you.

Your eyes dart again with your head in the fake grass and you see it straying off. “And the ball didn’t make it. To be honest, you were sloppy.”

“I don’t care.”

“You… don’t?”

There’s that sick fluttering feeling in your stomach again and your heart kicks against your chest painfully. Your cheeks are growing warm and you feel uncomfortable by the heat with Shidou so close to you. What the hell is wrong with you? Seriously, he didn’t even tell you a line or anything. He just said ‘I don’t care’ twice. That’s not game! You need to get a grip.

“Yeah, why should I? I’ve got you right where I want you now.”

You raise an unimpressed eyebrow. If making you look like an idiot is his revenge to you for making him mad, then fine, you’re going to pretend you can’t make your way out of his grip with ease.

“You can’t give me a big dopamine hit like that and pull away,” he says, leaning closer. By this point you really can’t see much apart from his big ass head right in your face. Does he even know what he’s implying to you while looking at you straight-on? Does he realize you know his weird euphemisms are all figures of speech for whatever makes him horny?

“What do you mean?”

“Tellin’ me all that romantic stuff and running away…” Shidou narrows his eyes as if the memory is enough to annoy him.

You blink. Oh. You thought he was throwing a temper tantrum because you refused to team up with him. But once again, you’re unimpressed. “So did that turn you on or what? I don’t get it.”

“Well, I’d put it in other words, like, let’s say, hypothetically, maybe you made me explode because you’re an oxidizer and I’m an organic-”

“Ok, I know, but I’m trying to figure out what’s going on here-”

He retreats and rolls away from you, allowing you to sit up again, so you cease talking without reaching the point you were trying to make. It flies out of your head anyway when he links his hand with yours, staring at you, seemingly subdued now. You’re not sure why you’re both acting like shy middle schoolers now while indulging in something so chaste considering you’ve done way more indecent things together, but you intertwine your fingers and offer him a smile. The sight catches him off-guard.

Before he can bask in another achievement (this time being the first person to make you express any kind of joy when everyone knows you’re one distant asshole), a ball hits him straight on the forehead.

Without any preamble, Rin deems it fit to announce his presence by saying, “Your lukewarm displays are appalling. You should both just die.”

You stare at him and then at each other and burst out in laughter, pointing at him. Though you finish your laughing fits at about the same time, you spur on another one by asking, “Do you think he even knows what lukewarm means?”

“No, I seriously doubt it!”

Rin thinks to ask you how come you think it’s chill when your shitty boyfriend or whatever he is says the grossest things imaginable, but suddenly it’s a problem when he wants to say his favorite word, though he doesn’t want to seem too offended or otherwise invested.

___

Im sorry if this is in any way contradictory or shitty or sucks balls I havent slept in 4 days except for a one-off 3 hour nap and wrote this while possessed. Maybe ill sleep again at some point and this will be the worst thing ive ever seen and ill have to delete it. God forbid.

#shidou x reader #shidou ryuusei x reader #bllk x reader #blue lock x reader #bllk x you

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marvelmaniac2000 · 3 years ago

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Pretty Little Liar (Shang Chi ~ Pregnancy Series)

Storyline: You just found out you were pregnant and guess who’s first to know? Your best friend Katy. As long as she can keep it a secret everything will go as planned.

Characters: Reader, Shaun (Shang Chi), Katy

Notes: Katy katy katy... *smh* She is such a spirit animal..

**Sorry for Misspelling and Grammar**

tags: @alesaab

“How on earth did you let this happen?” Katy smacked the pregnancy test on the bathroom counter.

“What are you going to do?” She sat on the toilet seat panicking as if she was the one pregnant.

You looked at Katy with a dumbfounded look.

“I’m keeping it” you replied. Katy handed your test back without further input. She placed her hand on your shoulder.

“Honestly I was hoping you were going to keep it, because Shaun would make a great dad” her deep raspy voice softened into yours. You look down at the test and wipe your thumb across the two straight lines.

“I just don’t know how he would feel about this? What if he doesn’t really want it?” Thoughts of negativity swarmed your mind.

“Obviously he must like you enough to bust his nut into you so..” You gave her a grim look.

“Thank you Katy Chen” you sarcastically implied.

Katy’s face grew worried. “Look I can’t really say what I would do, but I’m sure keeping this a secret isn’t your best option. This isn’t going to go away on it’s own. But I’m BOTH of you guys’ best friends so this isn’t a position I would want to be in.”

Sadly enough she was right and you couldn’t think about yourself anymore. There’s another life that is now involved. “Ok can you at least keep it a secret until tomorrow? I just want to process all of this” Everything in your mind started to go into overdrive, but you couldn’t afford telling Shaun anything until you knew your own plan.

“It’s not my place to tell him, but don’t wait too long” she warned. You took her words as precaution and hid your test in a decorated plant in your bathroom.

NEXT DAY

Katy and Shaun strolled over to their usual convenience store to fetch some last minute groceries before they separated for the night. “I think (Y/N) said she needed a bottle of wine” Shaun observed the display of liquor. Katy has been trying to act normal for the last 24 hours but she couldn’t help but feel weird facing her best friend knowing he was going to be someone’s father.

“Nawh I don’t think she’s a huge drinker anymore” Katy tried to convince. Shaun scoffed at Katy while looking for your favorite brand.

“What are you talking about? Me and you both know she’s a fancy drinker” he grabbed a bottle off the shelf and noticed how uneasy Katy looked.

“What’s with you dude? You’ve been acting all weird lately” Katy twisted her earring nervously trying to come up with an excuse.

“Have I? Maybe my period is coming” Shaun folded his eyebrows and scanned Katy’s face looking for clues. “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that” Shaun winced his eyes closed.

“I’ll go wait for you at the checkout line” he stated before walking down to the front of the store. He began to question what the hell was going on with his friend. He ironically remembered you mentioning your period was late but that wasn't his biggest concern. He couldn’t figure out why Katy would insinuate you didn’t drink. Shaun stopped mid stride and ran back down each aisle looking for Katy. He finally found her browsing around and launched onto her shoulders.

“Is (Y/N) pregnant?!” He demanded. “Be a little louder if you can buddy” Katy sharply whispered. Shaun eyes knifed into Katy’s face wanting to explode. “Don’t freak out please!” Katy grabbed Shaun arm embracing for the words about to spill out of her mouth. “She’s pregnant”

Shaun rushed home before you did and searched for the pregnancy test you hid. Just like Katy explained he found it in the bathroom’s plant. He stared at the straight two lines in amazement.

“I’m going to be a father,” he whispered to himself. It felt all surreal to him. He felt excitement picturing you pregnant and starting his own family. It was happening all so soon, but he was ready to start his journey. He placed the test inside his pocket and sat on the couch waiting for you to come home shortly. After a couple of minutes you arrive through the door tiresome from work.

“Hey, you started our show without me?” you plopped yourself next to him on the couch.

“Of course I didn't, even though I can predict the ending,” he replied. You prop your feet on his lap and he naturally massages your tiresome toes.

“Did you ever get your period?” he questioned. “Since when did you start caring?” you wondered. “I started caring when you hide important things worth caring about (Y/N)” Shaun looked at you with a calm demeanor. His comebacks always took over yours and you never would win arguments. It was like he lived through so much in such little time.

“Katy told you, didn’t she?” you sighed knowing how such a bad liar your bestie was.

“She really didn’t have to” Shaun slipped the test out of his pocket and waved it in your direction.

“Seriously?!?! She even told you where I hid it? I was going to use it as my surprise to tell you! She is fucking dead” you shook your head planning your best friend’s funeral.

“It’s ok I understand you wanted to tell her before me but it does hurt little keeping future dad out of the loop” Your pregnancy hormones instantly felt like they were raging hearing him call himself a dad. “You’re definitely going to be a dilf” you joked. “Trust me I know, I’ve been your dilf every night” he winked.

#marvel #mcu #shang chi #simu liu #fanfic #the legend of the ten rings #love story #shang chi smut #imagine #babies #katy chen #shang chi x reader #shang chi fanfiction #shang chi fluff

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omg-im-such-a-masochist · 3 years ago

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MR. REIGNS

Prompt: Requested by nonny

Word Count: Long-ish

Pairings: Roman Reigns x Reader

Warnings: +18, smut, degradation (name calling), flirting, daddy kink, sir kink, age gap

Editor: @thenightmareismyreality

Tag: @ziasaph , @theworldofotps , @sophiewolfheart-blog , @wickedsunfire , @akiko-tanaka , @aerynscrichton , @sassymox , @waywardwrestlewritingwaif , @reigns-5sos , @lustyromantic , @auawdo , @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch , @nicolewoo , @writtingrose , @bayley-no-friends

Notes: Disclaimer - For respect purposes, I’ll be using a fictional name for Roman’s daughter on this fic. If you’d like to check out my other works, you can find them on my Masterlist

It’s finally Senior Year - and what a fucking relief that is! No more stressful and endless studying hours, no more busting our asses off for mediocre grades, no more shitty frat parties “and last - but certainly not least- no more breaking up with asshole boyfriends at said crappy parties!

I don’t like younger guys. They’re inexperienced, get flustered easily, and don’t care whatsoever about reciprocating pleasure towards their girlfriends or hookups! I like older men...there's something about them that’s just perfect. “When I first met Amber Reigns, I never imagined that I would be blessed with such an amazing best friend. That’s why I knew it was wrong to have the hots for her father, but c’mon! Have you seen the man? He’s delicious! And I’m made of flesh and blood, therefore I have my weaknesses too. And Mr. Reigns is one of my biggest weaknesses.

“Y/N” Amber peeked her head inside my dorm room “Are you ready? My dad’s waiting for us in the parking lot”

“Yeah, I got everything I need” I said while putting on my backpack

“Do you mind going to the car? I’ll be right behind you, I just need to leave some books at the library, because if I don’t they’ll fine me like twenty dollars” She rolled her eyes in annoyance

I giggled “Sure. But don’t take too long flirting with the library boy” I responded in a teasing tone

She stuck her tongue out and left.

I made my way towards the parking lot and saw him standing there, leaning sexily against his pickup truck. He was wearing an extremely tight black tank top, which did nothing but accentuate his rippling muscles and tanned skin that were on full display. The intricate patterns of his tattoo could be seen from afar, the way the black lines molded to his skin like a shield never failed to turn me on, and a pair of black joggers caressed his strong thighs beautifully. His long, black, silky hair was tied up in a tight knot at the back of his head....the man was a fucking sight for sore eyes!

“Hello, Y/N” He greeted with a smile

“Mr. Reigns” I said shyly

He grabbed my backpack and placed it in the trunk of his car “How are you?”

“I’m good, sir. How are you?”

“Better now” He winked and smirked. And I almost came in my pants

“Where’s Amber?”

“She went to the library to return some books, sir”

“Don’t I get a hug?” He smiled

I awkwardly hugged him as I felt the smell of his cologne filling up my lungs and this weird feeling of wholesomeness took over me

“Let’s get inside the car, it’s too hot out here” He laughed

Amber had invited me to spend this holiday weekend with her family, and since I wasn’t feeling much in the mood to go home, I said yes. The only thing I didn’t know was that she planned on going to Mr. Reigns’ house instead of her mom’s house. Before I could fantasize in my daydreams for too long, Amber had returned from the library and hopped into the vehicle.

“Who will be spending the weekend with us?” Amber asked as she fastened her seatbelt

“Your uncles will be coming tomorrow afternoon with your cousins. Your brother decided to go to his girlfriend’s parents, and your sister is coming over on Sunday” Mr. Reigns replied as he turned onto the highway leading to his home.

During the two hour long ride, Mr. Reigns and Amber spent most of the trip conversing animatedly, occasionally asking me a question or two to keep me from feeling too left out, but I let them mostly catch up amongst themselves.

When we got to his place it was the end of the afternoon, and Mr. Reigns went to the kitchen to cook us dinner. I took the opportunity to shower and change into some clean clothes, nothing fancy though, just a pair of yoga pants and a gray tank top. While Amber was taking one of her famously long baths, I got bored and decided to go downstairs to see what Mr. Reigns was cooking.

“Y/N, to what do I owe the pleasure?” He smirked

“Amber is taking a bath” I rolled my eyes in fake annoyance

“Oh great” He grunted, but a smile danced on his lips “That will be quick” He joked, and I laughed in response

“So when is your girlfriend coming?” I asked nonchalantly and leaned against the kitchen island as he chopped some carrots

“Girlfriend?” He chuckled “I know nothing about that”

“How is that possible?” I asked in disbelief

“I don’t need someone in my life in order to be happy, Y/N”

“I’m not saying you do, Mr. Reigns. I’m just saying I find it hard to believe that a man like you doesn’t have a girlfriend”

“And why aren’t YOU spending the holidays with your boyfriend?” He teased

“Boyfriend? I know nothing about that” I mocked

He cackled “And why not? Maybe a boy in college wants to be your boyfriend?”

“I don’t like young guys” I shrugged

“Oh really?” He scooted closer “What do you like then?”

“I like older men”

“How old?” He flirted

The vixen part of my brain woke up once I saw the fire in his eyes “Around your age”

“My age?”

I nodded

“And what does a twenty two year old little girl like you know about men my age?” He licked his lips

“Oh Mr. Reigns...I know a lot” I smirked

………………………………………………………………………………………..

We went to sleep late that night, so the next morning I didn’t even hear Amber calling for me so we could go to the grocery store. When I slowly opened the door of the guest bedroom, I heard Mr. Reigns saying:

“I’ll stay here with her and you go to the store, because God forbid if I forget to buy whatever is your addiction at the moment” He chuckled

“Dad, stop!” She giggled “You’re making me sound like a terrible person, AND it’s Twinkies, ok?”

“Again? I thought it was chocolate with nuts”

“Nope, it’s Twinkies now, and just for that, I’ll buy an extra box just to piss you off” She laughed deviously and left out the door.

When her car left towards the highway, I saw Mr. Reigns going up the stairs and coming towards my guest bedroom. I quickly went to the bathroom so I could brush my teeth.

Mr. Reigns slowly opened the door of my room as I was leaving the bathroom.

“So you’re awake?”

“I woke up when Amber was leaving”

“Why didn’t you go to the store with her?”

“Wasn’t feeling like it. Why are you in my room, Mr. Reigns?”

“I came to check on you”

“Why? Do I need someone watching over my sleep?” I laughed

“I just wanted to make sure you were ok, Y/N”

With a smirk on my lips, I said “So you had no other intentions AT ALL?”

“Would you like me to have other intentions?” He chuckled

“Who wouldn’t?”

“You know this is wrong, right?”

“If I heard it correctly, Mr. Reigns, you were the one who wanted to stay behind, and you are the one who came up here” I shrugged

“Touché” He pushed me down on the bed, and covered my body with his

“If it’s so wrong, why are you doing it, sir?”

“Because” He licked his lips “Everything that is forbidden tastes sweeter, don’t you think?”

I giggled while my hands dipped inside his white t-shirt “That’s your shitty excuse?” And chuckled “C’mon, I know you can do better than that”

He cackled “Maybe...or maybe it’s the truth” His hands pulled my satin shorts down “I’ve thought about this ever since I first saw you”

“So why did it take you so long to do something about it?”

“I wanted to make sure you felt the same” His lips brushed against mine

“We better hurry up before someone gets here”

“It takes two and a half hours to get to the store and back, baby. We’ve got plenty of time” He smirked and kissed my lips deeply.

His full lips tasted like caramel coffee, something he drank every morning without a fail. I undid his perfect bun and let his black, silky hair fall upon his shoulders as we kissed. Moaning into the kiss, I pulled his hair while I wiggled my hips, which made him groan.

“So eager” He slapped my ass “I like that. Makes me wanna fuck you even harder”

He took my wrists and locked them on top of my head while rubbing his bulge against my core.

“Please, daddy” I moaned “Please fuck my pussy”

He growled at my pleading and pulled his joggers down quickly. Roman teased my clit with his tip, sliding it up and down my folds, applying more pressure every time he hit my little nub.

“No more teasing, Mr. Reigns... Please...”

Roman smirked and slid in me with one soft thrust.

“Fuck” We moaned together

My eyes rolled to the back of my head as he filled my core like nothing else. His size was beyond perfect to me and I couldn’t hold back my moans of pleasure any longer.

“That’s my good little slut, moan for the one who owns this pussy” He pulled all the way out, until just the tip was in, and then he went in again with a rough thrust

“Oh yes, Mr. Reigns. Keep going please” I moaned loudly

He gripped me by the neck and chuckled “Such a needy whore! I love seeing what I can do to you. The power I have over you...How you lose yourself while I fuck you” He slapped my ass vigorously “You’ve been waiting a long time to have me in you, haven’t you, my sweet whore?”

“Yes, sir” I panted

“Then tell me! Who’s my filthy little slut?”

“Me, daddy”

He snarled before fucking me faster “Say it!”

“I’m your filthy little slut, sir” Tears started to gather in my eyes, as I could feel overstimulation being so close

“Then cum for me, like a filthy, little, slut” He whispered in my ear, while pinching my clit.

It didn’t take him long to reach his high, and Roman quickly pulled out and spilled his seed on my mound.

He leaned down and captured my lips in a sweet kiss

“C’mon, let’s get cleaned up” Roman looked up at the clock and continued “And if we’re quick enough in the shower, we can have another round before someone gets here”

He picked me up in his arms, bridal style and whispered

“I still need to taste this pussy or else I’m gonna become a mad man” He smirked when I gasped

And ran towards the bathroom.

Please, if you’re comfortable with it, let me know your thoughts on this? Feedbacks are always appreciated ❤️😘

#roman reigns one shot #roman reigns x reader #roman reigns #roman reigns fanfiction #roman reigns smut #roman reigns imagine #masochist writes

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pikemoreno · 4 years ago

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if you ever wanna be in love

Chapter VI: Violets

a/n: and we’re back! so excited to finish this story in 2021! we’re about halfway through now! really appreciate you all for sticking with me through hiatus! happy new year!

pairing: marcus pike x f!reader

word count: 2.5k

warnings: angst :), nothing is solved, like one bad word, this burn is so slow :)

wanna join a taglist? | masterlist | series masterlist

“There’s nothing going on here, there never will be anything going on here, alright?” your words rang in his skull like awful, thunderous aftershocks.

In truth, he really had been just trying to leave. He and Adrian had received a message that they had a new case for the morning. It’d come in after hours.

Hennigan Gallery robbery. John Hennigan killed.

The group responsible was one they’d been chasing for a while, but their heists had never ended in a murder. Marcus had never been on *any* case that ended in murder. As such, Marcus quickly excused himself from sitting with Adrian to head home a bit early and get through some prep work. He waltzed towards the front door only to find that the foyer was where Wendy had dragged you off to. He didn’t mean to listen in, really. It was very obviously a private conversation that he wanted no part of, but in waiting for a break in conversation to try to sneak by he had heard the last of it.

It was enough to know that you were talking about him. Enough to know that he should’ve interrupted and thereby saved himself the ache of hearing how you actually felt about your relationship to him.

Nothing?

You certainly weren’t “nothing” to him. You were, well, not quite everything. Not yet, he hadn’t let himself go that far, but you were certainly something.

He felt your eyes drilling into him as he slipped past. What exactly did you want him to say? He thought as he gritted his teeth, letting the door fall closed behind him a little too loudly.

In that moment he felt the most uneasy mixture of heartbreak and anger. He wasn’t a generally angry person, but the flippancy of your “nothing” cut deep. It was like you were giving Wendy an obvious answer. It flowed so naturally from your lips.

He’d once again gone too far, assumed he meant more, assumed this would turn out any different from any other relationship he’d found himself in. How did he go so wrong a third time? He’d really tried to take it so slowly, but still show that he did have some kind of intention with you. It had seemed at the time that you’d picked up on the good-natured flirting. Had it been too much? Not enough? Was he really that hard to love? He couldn’t afford to try to decipher it all. What hurt the most is that he had to hear it like this. It wasn’t because he took a chance and it wasn’t because you wanted to be honest with him. No, it was something he was never supposed to hear in the first place. Fate’s cruel trick. Though he guessed it was better to know than to continue being blissfully unaware.

But was it really better?

The Tuesday morning alarm was a rude awakening for Marcus, mostly because it wasn’t much of an awakening. Sleep had evaded him, just as he had expected it to after the events of the evening. He got up quickly-- better to keep busy than sit around, lost in miserable thinking. He didn’t work that way anymore. If he spent every day of heartbreak wallowing instead of pushing forward, well, it’d be a pretty significant chunk of his life at this point.

After all, this shouldn’t be all that depressing right? It’s not like you two really were anything. Or that you’d even known each other for all that long. It’d been a matter of weeks. What were you to him anyway? You’d helped each other with a problem, that problem seemed to now be solved. The deal was done. You didn’t owe him anything. You could, and should, part ways in peace, go back to being work acquaintances that nodded at each other in the hallway and made small talk at the water cooler.

That’s what people with “nothing going on” do, right?

Nothing.

But then what was all of that?

Just… nothing.

He left his place without eating breakfast.

Time to get to work-- and pray he didn’t see you.

The air in the office felt different the moment you stepped inside, but you decided that might’ve just been your impression. It felt like everyone you passed was staring at you. It was like they knew you’d inadvertently broken the heart of everyone’s best work friend last night.

You guessed you deserved the cold treatment in that case-- even if it was only an imagined one.

The words had been out of your mouth before you could even recognize what you were saying. You were frustrated and felt cornered by Wendy’s questions that hit at too deep of a truth. You didn’t even mean them, but you knew it would take more than an excuse like that to explain the situation to Marcus. If you told him you didn’t mean it, then you’d have to tell him what you did mean, and that was a conversation you found yourself reluctant to have.

Over the past twelve hours or so you’d taken the time to process what you actually meant, to understand it for yourself. In truth? You did like Marcus. It’d been a matter of weeks, but he had completely wormed his way into your guarded affection. He was caring and intentional and kind, with the goofiest sense of humor and the biggest love for breakfast food you’d ever seen. You truly couldn’t believe how anyone could’ve let him go.

But of course, now you were doing the same. You didn’t like the way that realization sat in your chest. You let him go before you ever really had him, refusing to even bring him in in the first place out of fear. This had to be remedied, and quickly. The office felt different now without him in your corner.

You looked regretfully at your schedule filled to the brim with interrogations. Interrogations that were originally supposed to be with Marcus by your side. Now he was reassigned to the Hennigan Gallery case and Wendy had taken his place with you. Probably for the best anyway, but damn, it would be good to see his face right about now. Unsurprisingly, he hadn’t made his usual trip by your desk this morning to say hello.

A tap on your desk ripped you from your thinking and a split second of hope burned in your chest as you looked up.

No, not Marcus. Of course not. It was Wendy, eyes filled with compassion. Her voice was soft and sympathetic as she asked if you were ready to go downstairs and question the first person. You nodded simply, quietly gathering your things and standing to walk beside her. The silence didn’t break until the elevator doors closed behind you both.

“I’m so sorry about what happened yesterday and my part in it. Don’t get me wrong, that was a conversation you needed to have, but I should’ve waited to have that conversation with you,” Wendy pleaded. You sighed.

“It’s alright, Wendy. It’s not really your fault. It’s mine. If I would’ve told you the truth, it wouldn’t have ended the way it did.” Your confession was met with a confused silence, so you clarified after a beat. “These past few weeks I’ve really started to,” you mentally scrolled through the possible words you could use and found they all choked you before you could even begin to utter them.

Like.

Need.

Want.

Fall for.

“F-feel what you think i’m feeling… For Marcus. And the thought of that-- being asked about it-- just really freaked me out.”

In your peripheral you could see Wendy shake her head and you heard her breathe out the smallest laugh.

“What?” you groaned, both of you continuing to stare straight ahead as the elevator doors parted open.

“You are the most emotionally constipated person I’ve ever met.”

“Shut up.”

You stepped out together, taking an immediate right to greet the first of the Elizabet Ney Museum employees you had to question.

You couldn’t stop your foot from bouncing as you now sat back at your desk, wracking your brain over the notes you’d taken over the past few hours of interrogations. The Elizabet Ney heist was proving itself more and more as a tough nut to crack. There was too little information, too small of a suspect pool, and absolutely no evident motivation. Today you’d questioned every volunteer and employee that’d stuck even a toe in the museum in the past year and all of them seemed just as lost as you were.

Jane Meran, a 70 year-old retiree volunteer and avid art fan couldn’t imagine any reason why anyone would want the stolen goods. They couldn’t have been worth much, she laughed. Her alibi for the day of the crime was as honest and clear as the look in her incredulous eyes as she heard about the theft for what was apparently the first time.

The three sixteen year old volunteers who had been there that day-- Jeremy, Etta, and Leslie-- all snorted at the mere thought of any of them being the culprit.

“Who cares about all of that junk?” they’d remarked. Their alibis were solid: they’d left their required community service hours for school and went and got high at a friend’s house. Etta had smacked Jeremy for that admission.

“This is the FBI dumbass. You’re gonna get us in trouble.” Her whisper was loud enough for you to still hear. You sighed.

Tony Berrara, an assistant manager of sorts and one of two people who’d brought in the artifacts-- the other of which was Mrs. Moa-- sang the very same tune. He had heard the endless nagging of the surviving family members who brought the heirloom and the bust all day while unloading it. They had told him over and over to be extremely careful lest he break either one, but he didn’t think they seemed all that special, not compared to some of the other items that had been procured for the museum. His alibi for later that evening was equally as airtight.

And that was it for the initial suspects. As you had already figured out, there was absolutely no motivation here, and that fact was now exacerbated by the alibis, all confirmable by outside sources. Back to the drawing board. You bit the end of your pen as you thought, looking out the windows at the panoramic view of the surrounding city.

This case was going to require a little more intensive research. You wondered regretfully if Marcus had done any research before getting moved to the new case. He probably had; he always seemed to be prepared for anything-- obnoxiously so. Your glance fell back to your desk, dropping your pen as you rested your forehead in your hands.

You could always just ask him.

Or you could do it yourself.

Or you could ask him.

That’d be a good way to talk to him, you reasoned. While you were at it you could clear the air.

With a gulping breath, you stood up and headed to the elevator.

Marcus had had a very very weird morning.

It started off by him being so lost in his head that he had forgotten that he was supposed to go to the Special Crimes offices for the week. He was met with caution tape strung across the entrance to his usual floor and quickly hit the button to take him back down to the 5th floor. Of course it was too late by the time he punched the number and the elevator descended all the way back down to the lobby.

There was a woman waiting at the bottom and the moment of confusion as she waited for him to get off was more embarrassment than he felt that he could handle at 8am.

“It’s ok. I’m going back up,” Marcus said sheepishly as the brunette finally stepped in. She noddly simply, but smiled at him as she replied.

“We’ve all been there.”

The way she kindly tried to ease his embarrassment made him feel about fifty pounds lighter. He grinned back. She had a harsh face, but her smile was infectious.

The elevator dinged as it approached the 5th floor and he and the woman bumped shoulders as they attempted to get off at the same time.

Marcus mentally smacked himself for not paying better attention. He was always the “after you” guy on elevators.

“Sorry, sorry. Go ahead, please,” he recovered, stepping back into place. Her look was quizzical, as if she wanted to ask him something, but she seemed to let it go as she stepped through the doors and turned the opposite direction from where Marcus was headed.

He was beyond grateful for that.

He made it into the glass conference room right on time for the team’s meeting with the distraught Mrs. Hennigan. That was the most normal part of the morning, that is, until a particularly brash blond man by the name of Patrick Jane waltzed into the room like he owned the place and somehow managed to take over the case. Marcus had allowed it for the simple fact that he felt way out of his depth in dealing with a murder case, but he couldn’t say he was particularly excited about working with the irritating man whose reputation proceeded him.

Next thing Marcus knew, he was briefing an entire room of Art Squad and Special Crimes Agents on this theft-murder case that’d become so much more than he had initially signed up for.

Then he saw her.

The woman from the elevator, walking into the meeting. He locked eyes with her for just a moment before checking himself and getting back to business.

She listened intently throughout the whole thing, looking him directly in the eye as he spoke, making the occasional comment. And soon he was finding he could only look at her.

Oh no.

Not again.

It was too soon.

But didn’t everyone deserve a rebound?

And it’s not like you’d even been together, right?

There was no harm in taking interest in a woman that was more and more obviously interested in him by the second…

Right?

He attached to her side the moment the meeting ended. She was bright-eyed and curious, asking him all sorts of questions about art and specifically about the confiscated art storage in the basement.

“Do you wanna go see it?” he beamed, revealing the dimple on his cheek.

In that moment, he’d felt more important than he had in days-- weeks, even. Last night’s events had colored the past few weeks in such a way that he looked at them with a totally new perspective.

He hadn’t really mattered to you. He was a means to an end. A way to get your boss off your back. At best, he was an acquaintance.

But here? In this moment? He was important. Someone cared about him-- or at least what he had to say. That was a start.

The oddest moment of the day, though, came as he walked the woman-- Teresa, he’d discovered her name was-- out of the conference room to take her down to see the Art Squad’s “Aladdin” area in the basement. He could’ve sworn he saw a flash of a distinct multi-colored cardigan disappear around the corner. In his peripheral, it looked just like the one he’d seen you wear almost every day for the past week. But that didn’t make any sense. He wasn’t expecting to see you anytime soon, at least not because you were purposefully on his floor.

He’d probably imagined it.

Just ghosts of the past.

The elevator dinged, signaling it was time to go down.

#marcus pike x reader #agent pike x reader #iyewbil #bri writes

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catsandstrawberries · 5 years ago

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Foot Issues

alright so im feeling inspired so here's a little thing I whipped out

Pairing: BalletTeacherJungkook x DanceStudentReader (mostly ballet)

Warnings: It sounds like a foot kink but its not, (unless you want it to be i guess) readers feet are disgusting, pain because ballet=pain, maybe sugar daddy (who knows, definetly not me 0-o)

Genre: Its literally fluff and I think im gonna make this a series because this is adorable

Summary: Reader is having some foot problems in ballet class one day and Jungkook is quick to check in on her

Ok so Jungkook is one of the biggest goofballs and relatively new to teaching

He's trained all his life in ballet, but after three years at a professional company he decided its not his cup of tea and he loves teaching so much more than performing

He gets job offers from a handful of state dance schools where they teach more than just ballet

He decides on the school that allows him to teach both the littles and the bigger kids because Jungkook is a sucker for the six-year-old smilies with the missing teeth.

When Jungkook firsts start his job he's quick to familiarize himself with the other teachers

Hoseok teaches Hip hop and Jimin teaches jazz and contemporary

It's a pretty versatile studio and the owner Kim Namjoon, even though he doesn't particularly dance, is suddenly Jungkooks idol

Namjoon is so good with the kids and teens, and he's so young and has already created such a strong business

Insert Jungkook making heart eyes at Namjoon uwu

But then Namjoon introduces Jungkook to you

You are one of the girls on scholarship taking the upper-level classes while pursuing a dance degree at college

"Jungkook, this is (y/n). She's one of the university students here on a scholarship. You might see her around because she clean's the studios on Monday and Wednesdays as apart of her scholarship, so if you need anything and can't find the other teachers feel free to ask her."

Jungkook thinks you look sweet enough, but it's odd for him at first because you only look two or three years younger than him but he's gonna be your teacher

You smile and try not to bust a nut because oh my god he's fucking attractive

You try to mask the color on your cheeks but before you can talk more Mr. Park is calling you because Contemporary is about to start

So you yeet yourself out of there, finally letting out a breath you didn't know you were holding

So you find out Jungkook is a pretty decent teacher

The only issue is all of the other uni students are too busy staring at his ass than actually paying attention

Well....you are too, but you aren't as obvious as them, right?

The cast list for the show specifically for the university kids is coming out soon

The show is the wizard of oz and you really want to be the wicked witch of the west

What? Not only does she get to do the fun, big jumps but Dorothy is overrated

So you have been working really hard in class and haven't really been paying attention to Jungkook until your foot starts to hurt bad

Your pointe shoes are relatively new and you haven't rolled your ankle so you don't really understand why

Jungkook comes up to you during a développé combination and he's grabbing your leg and placing your foot on his shoulder, his hands pushing your ankle up.

Ooooof the pain

you bite your lip to avoid the discomfort but Jungkook only scolds you,

"Relax."

sure relax, you try lifting your leg above your head.

But no, seriously Jungkooks extensions are insane, you watched him do a leg hold turn once and it was crazy

When Jungkook puts your leg down he immediately notices how red and swollen your foot is

After barre when all of the students go to the centre he calls you out and asks you to put on your flat shoes

You blank because

ExCUse mE

First off, he didn't ask any of the other girls to take off their pointe shoes, and you don't want him to think you're lazy or incapable and then give you a bad part in the show

You kind of stand there like an idiot while he raises his eyebrows at you,

"Bu-"

"now (y/n)"

Jungkook is never really strict with your class, sure he gets annoyed when some of you get off the music (cough cough* its always Lisa* cough cough) or when he has to give the same corrections, but he's pretty chill, he even lets you call him Mr. Jungkook

He wanted to be called Jungkook but Namjoon said he needed to keep a level of professionalism

Anyways

Jungkook sound generally mad at you and you try to hide your annoyed facial expression while you rip off your ribbons and slip on the flat shoes that make you look like a novice

On the bright side, you can do a triple pirouette in flat shoes while you can only do doubles on a good day in your pointe shoes

Class is kind of hazy because you're still annoyed but once it's over all of the girls go to bow to Jungkook because it's proper and you should always bow to your teacher

"Wait, (y/n), can you stay after? I want to take a look at your foot."

"Um...ye-eah, sure."

Fuck

You're gonna be alone with this snack

Jungkook sits cross-legged on the floor, clad in his tight, but somehow flexible jeans and his black T-shirt

"Did you do something to your foot? It was really swollen in your pointe shoe today."

You take off your flat shoes and roll back the tights of your injured foot though you practically feel no pain

Okay...

SO Jungkook is ATTRACTIVE, and he's gazing at your feet as if its the most important thing on the planet

but your feet are fucking disgusting

Your big toe lost a toenail the other day and you have blisters on your third and fourth toes. Bandages cover your pinky and its completely red.

"I'm gonna touch your foot."

Jungkook grabs your foot and puts it in his lap and looks up at you through the fringe of his hair, and this motherfucker starts to giggle

"Um..." You worry he's lost his shit for a second but then he's looking back down at your foot

"I've seen my fair share of gross feet (y/n), no need to be embarrassed"

Okay you're blushing all over and looking anywhere but him as he starts to ask questions

"Does it hurt? Can you feel this? Have you rolled over your box"

"No, no, and no."

This boi

He starts to massage your foot

Your filthy, ugly, foot

and it's strangely intimate

You gasp in a very unsexual way that sounds very sexual

You suddenly feel everything as if the blood was finally rushing to your foot

"Your pointe shoes are definitely too tight. My guess is that because of how hard you've been working your feet have swelled up a bit, which is normal-"

How can Jungkook move his hands like that? His fingers are spreading the skin and rolling his palm against the arch of your foot and it feels like heaven. His hands are distracting you so much that you don't even hear the compliment he gave you

"You're gonna need new pointe shoes though."

You stop drooling and flinch your foot away from his hands

"What?"

"You need new pointe shoes."

POINTE SHOES ARE EXPENSIVE

and you're BrOKe, there's a reason you're a scholarship girl

"What would happen if I just keep dancing on the pointe shoes I have now."

He sends you the same glare he did in class

"I won't let you dance in those shoes (y/n). They cut off your circulation and could damage your feet."

His eyes suddenly widen and he starts to blush a bit, "if money is a problem I can help you out."

"What? No, I can figure something out, and I don't want you to feel like I'm using you and I already have the scholarship I cou-"

Jungkook after rubbing some hand sanitizer into his hands that are kept in all the studios helps you to your feet by gently grabbing your hands

"(Y/n) I know your scholarship doesn't cover your pointe shoes, and if you want to be ready for rehearsals for Wiz you'll need them by Wednesday."

He gauges your reaction carefully and gently grabs your elbows as he stands in front of you,

"Hear me out, I pay for them, you pay me back when you have the money. Deal?"

You hate this, but you have no idea what else to do, and he's right. If you don't have them for rehearsals they might lower your position or not cast you.

"Fine."

You're suddenly very conscious of how close the two of you are and you both jump away as if you've burned each other

"Um, I should go." You turn to grab your bag but just before you head out the door you send Jungkook a smile.

"Mr. Jungkook, thank you seriously."

Jungkook will come to realize, that your smile will be stuck in his head for the rest of the week.

#jung jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook x reader fluff #jungkook fluff #ballet reader #dance teacher jungkook #bts #bts x reader #bts x reader soft #soft jungkook #ballet teacher jungkook #ballet teacher bts #dance teacher bts #foot fetish?

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hockeylvr59 · 5 years ago

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Life Changes Part 10 || Paul Bissonnette

Author's Note: So this one was tough for me because Paul’s head is a tough nut to crack so go easy on me. This is from his POV because I felt like we needed some insight as to where he stood in all of this because so far we’ve only see Leigh’s thoughts. Let me know what you think. We’re covering quite a bit of time fairly quickly now. In fact, there’s probably only 1 more chapter before the event everyone has been waiting for happens *hint hint*. Also, I updated the playlist for this story so feel free to go take a listen and let me know what you think and feel free to send me any songs that make you think of Leigh and Paul because I’d love to hear them.

Requested: [ ] yes [x] no Warnings: swearing Word Count: 2,389

_________

Paul’s POV

“Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change.”

Something had been different with Leigh since the awards but I couldn’t put my finger on what had changed or why. We still talked almost every day but where before she would be an open book, now it seemed like a glass wall was between us. Knowing that she would reach out if she needed me, I came to the conclusion that it was something to do with the pregnancy and tried not to dwell on it.

Hopefully, this trip would make not dwelling a little easier. Thanks to some networking at the Awards and a little help from CCM, we’d finally landed our white whale for the podcast. And not only had we secured Crosby, but we’d also gotten MacKinnon as well. Having arrived in Nova Scotia yesterday, Whit and I were slotted to face off against the local duo in a round of golf, dinner on the line, before sitting down to record the interviews.

It was a gorgeous June day on the course, and I was absolutely buzzing. This was potentially the best game of golf I’ve ever played in my life. But before we had even finished the front half of the course I was already being accused of being a sandbagger...fucking ridiculous. Nate was getting all sorts of worked up while Sid just laughed saying they’d have to wait and see what the back half brought.

Needless to say, the second half didn’t go as well as the first...the damn yips taking over. Though we’d had the lead and secured dinner, for some reason Whit felt like giving the losers a second chance to redeem themselves so it was determined that we were only up 1 hole with two remaining. Whit came up just short for birdie leaving us square to start the 18th hole.

Just as we reached the final tee, my phone rang, Leigh’s picture filling my screen. If it had been anyone else I would have ignored it but there was no way I could ignore her so I grabbed my phone and stepped slightly away as I answered.

“What’s up?” I questioned. “We’re on the 18th hole with Sid and Nate.” Before she even responded I could hear the hitch in her breath and my heart raced with concern for why she would be crying, though lately, it didn’t take much to make her cry...pregnancy hormones.

“I forgot.” She admitted, her watery voice cracking.

“It’s fine. What’s up?” I repeated my question, my stomach twisting as I waited for her answer.

“It’s a girl.” She whispered. Immediately my heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest.

“What?” The word slipped out while my brain was rushing to process.

“Dustbunny...she’s a girl.” I had totally forgotten that Leigh had a doctor’s appointment scheduled for today. Without even realizing it, tears had pooled in my eyes and I let out a shaky laugh as I tried to blink them away. Deep down I knew that she was hoping for a girl and so I knew just how much this news meant to her.

“That’s incredible.” I finally managed my throat tight. “Congratulations.” Though the concept of her really having a baby had become more concrete for me in Vegas seeing her bump, now it really did feel real. In just a few months there would be this little human who looked like her mom hanging around and the thought of that was almost too much.

With Whit calling my name from the course, I signaled for him to give me just a minute but it was clear that Leigh heard it and she murmured that I should get back to the game. But before she hung up she made one final statement.

“You can tell the guys if you want. And uh...let them know I’ll make a public announcement in the next couple days but to keep it to themselves until then please.”

“Course.” I murmured, my brain still operating mostly on autopilot as it worked over the news she’d just dropped on me. “I uh...I’ll talk to you and dustbunny later.”

“Yeah.” She agreed. “Now go have fun.” She added just before the line went dead. Frantically I tried to pull myself together, wiping at my eyes and pocketing my phone.

It was my turn up at the tee and as I tried to focus, laughter came at me from all directions. Whether it was the laughter or the thought of Leigh and her daughter racing through my mind, as I swung at the ball I sliced it way left and the laughter took full force.

“Fuck off okay,” I mumbled, moving to sit on a bench, my nails scraping over my scalp.

“What the fuck was that?” Whit demanded. “You take one phone call and make the worst shot of the day?” There was nothing but silence as we made our way down to the green and as we waited for Sid to putt Whit looked over at me. “Everything okay?” He asked, voice calmer. “I’m assuming that was Leigh.”

“Yeah.” I nodded. “Everything’s good.” Whit looked at me skeptically before taking his turn and after sinking his putt for the win he paused.

“Okay, Biz...spill.” He stated, leaning against his club. “You’ve been all hyped up all day and now you’re quiet. What was that call about?”

“She’s having a girl.” I breathed, tossing my club back in the bag before reaching for a bottle of water to try and calm my still racing heart down.

“Who’s having a girl?” Nate inquired, clearly confused by the statement.

“Leigh. Our business manager.” Whit explained. “That’s awesome, I’m sure she’s over the moon.”

“Wait...she’s pregnant?” Sid asked, having obviously paid no mind to her growing bump when they met just a week or so ago.

“Yeah. It’s complicated.” I expressed. “And she is over the moon. She was crying over the phone.” I added, once again scratching my head. It was left unspoken, but not unnoticed by Whit that I had been crying over the news too and we made our way over to a little cafe to record both interviews, my mind gradually refocusing as I focused back in on hockey and the world surrounding it.

~~~

It wasn’t until we were a few drinks into a delicious dinner courtesy of Sid and Nate that Leigh was brought up as conversation again.

It had happened casually, Sid inquiring as to what we had upcoming for the podcast. Whit went into a ramble on the secret project we’d been working on for months, a Pink Whitney vodka, and how we had a launch party for that planned for Labor Day weekend. Then RA brought up how each of us was working to pick up some of the management job duties so that Leigh could have a proper maternity leave when the time arose. That triggered Nate inquiring about the whole baby thing and I quickly had to vaguely explain that Leigh wasn’t with the baby’s father and that we were close friends because she’d been with me in Arizona when she found out.

We’d just downed another round of drinks when Whit threw the first real punch.

“So Biz….when are you going to tell her you’re in love with her?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about...we’re just friends.” I lied, doing everything I could to keep my facial expressions neutral.

“That’s bullshit and everyone else can see it besides the two of you.” He tossed back. “You look at her like she’s the goddamn stanley cup. I haven’t seen you even look at another woman in months. If you aren’t talking about work you’re talking about Leigh and the baby so stop playing. You’re in love with her.”

If it weren’t for the drinks I’d already consumed I probably wouldn’t have admitted to anything. But with the drinks, I felt my palms start to sweat and my filter let a few too many thoughts slip through.

“Of course I love her,” I mumbled. “She’s smart, she’s funny, she’s absolutely stunning, and she has one of the biggest hearts I’ve ever seen. She’s handled everything thrown at her with far more grace than I ever could have and she’s going to be an absolutely incredible mom.” Downing the rest of my last drink I sighed heavily. “But we’re just friends and it’s going to stay that way.”

“So you love her and you obviously love her baby...what’s the fucking problem?” Whit pushed.

“The problem is that she deserves more. Better.” At those words, every head at the table turned to look at me.

“What the fuck does that mean?” RA questioned, his tone brusque.

“It means that she could do so much better than me. I don’t exactly have the best reputation with women or in general. She deserves someone that can match her in intelligence and who won’t fucking stain her name with his own. She deserves someone who isn’t mentally fucked up...who doesn’t experience episodes where he can barely take care of himself let alone her and the baby. She deserves stability.”

After spilling out all of the reasons why friends was all we were ever going to be, I expected some resistance, what I didn’t expect was Whit to bust out laughing at me. Glaring at him I clenched my jaw and he just shook his head.

“You’re a fucking moron Paul. You’re making excuses as to why you aren’t good enough for her and she’s making excuses as to why she’s not good enough for you when in reality you’re perfect for each other.”

“What are you talking about?” I pressed, swirling the ice in my glass aimlessly.

“I’m talking about the fact that she told Brie she didn’t think that you’d ever even have sex with her because she’s not your type. She minimizes anything you feel for her proclaiming that it’s just the baby you’re attached to. She thinks that all you’d ever want to be is Uncle Paul so how could you possibly want to pursue more when a relationship with her would come with the baggage of a baby that’s not yours. She’s just as insecure as you are….but I guarantee you that the way you’re shaking your head about the things she’s worried about would be the same way she’d react to the things you’re worried about.”

It baffled me to think that Leigh thought I wouldn’t want her. At the same time, I couldn’t help but wonder if that expression meant that she actually did want me. For a while, conversation traveled back to less serious topics but before we headed back to the hotel for the night Whit pulled me aside one more time.

“Look I get you have your own concerns and that you’re worried about unnecessarily dumping something else onto her plate but don’t let either of those fears keep you from something that could be great. Now may not be the right time, but I’ve seen the two of you together and you both bring out the best parts of each other...so just be patient and things will work out like they’re supposed to.”

It wasn’t until I was settled into bed that I was able to watch the ultrasound video Leigh had sent me. Between that and dinner’s conversation, the moment that I closed my eyes, too many thoughts, thoughts of Leigh and the baby she was carrying, filled my mind making sleep impossible. Was it really possible that she felt the same way I did? Did I want to play a role more than Uncle in this baby’s life? Was she ready to move on after having her heart crushed not once, not twice, but three times?

~~~

Just like she had said, Leigh dropped her pregnancy announcement as we were leaving Nova Scotia. Swiping through the photos I couldn’t help but be mesmerized at the way her bump had grown in the short time since I’d seen her last. She was very obviously pregnant now and though her photos only barely showed her face it was easy to see how much pregnancy suited her and how she was glowing because of it.

Unsurprisingly the announcement garnered some attention both positive and negative. There were people both in her personal life and around the league that were absolutely thrilled for her. Then there were people that had very much jumped to conclusions as she expected they would and though there really wasn’t anything I could do, I was angry that I couldn’t protect her from their harsh words and suspicions. If I thought she’d let me, I’d chew out every idiot on the internet but deep down I knew that kind of attention would only make things worse. Instead, I focused on distracting her away from that content, asking questions about her plans for a nursery while trying to hide the feelings that were getting harder and harder to suppress.

By the time her birthday arrived in the second week of July, I was determined to do something special for her. Though we were once again on opposite sides of the country I had been planning for her birthday since we left Vegas. In addition to sending flowers, I’d booked her a pregnancy massage session hoping to help alleviate some of the aches and pains she’d been complaining of. It didn’t seem like much to me but when she called after her appointment raving over how much better she felt, it was evident that my gesture was appreciated. Though I didn’t generally make posts for others on their birthdays, I felt compelled to share a few photos of the woman who had brightened my life up just by being a part of it. It was a little sappy but if anyone deserved it, it was her.

Though we talked almost daily and her selfies came more frequently as dustbunny continued growing, I still found myself counting the days until I would see her in person next. And to be frank, it couldn’t come soon enough. I was completely screwed...but to be honest there was a part of me that knew that the moment I first laid eyes on her.

Chapter 10 Social Media:

#paul bissonnette #paul bissonnette imagine #arizona coyotes #arizona coyotes imagine #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #hockey imagine #hockey imagines #former player #former player imagine #014.1

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baepsaets · 5 years ago

Text

The Call

(a/n: thank you all for 4k, and happy birthday jk! to celebrate, here’s a oneshot i’ve had typed out for a bit but didn’t want to post just yet. i’m working on a collection of oneshots that will all loosely be connected, all of them frat!jungkook related. they are all stand-alone, although they exist in the same universe).

summary: the only time you take the obnoxious frat boy from your chemistry class seriously is when he calls to tell you your close friend is having a bad trip at a party.

warnings: drug use mention (but not jk or the reader - and yes, this drabble is inspired by a true story. party safe lovelies!), enemies to friends to lovers (but just the friends part in this fic) (although jk is jealous lmao)

Frat Drabble: 4.3k

Your bare feet pounded on concrete as you ran down the block, glancing at your phone to check the time. It had been three minutes since Jeon Jungkook had called you from your friend’s phone.

It was a Friday night, which meant you’d had a hot date with your couch and Netflix, enjoying the time you got the spend alone while your roommate went out. When your friend had called you half-past midnight while you were in the middle of your latest binge, you’d been surprised, but answered anyway. “Hey, what’s up?”

“Uh, (Y/N)?”

Your blood went sluggish. The voice on the other end of the phone was male, and definitely didn’t belong to your friend. “Who is this?”

“It’s Jungkook. From Chem 201?”

Jeon Jungkook. The current bane of your existence—or at least, the bane of your chemistry class. He was seated next to you, and with an assigned seating chart, there was no way to avoid him.

The two of you had admittedly started off on the wrong foot. He’d caught you in a bad mood, but then had matched that mood with his own. But it wasn’t your fault that he was completely intolerable. Just a stupid, smug frat guy. He was probably going to school on his dad’s paycheck and didn’t care about failing. He certainly didn’t care about passing, from what you’d seen of his test results before he’d shoved them into his cluttered backpack.

It had all happened because he’d sat in your seat. From then on, it was like the guy had developed a special grudge against you. And you, who was a good student—you, who had to work hard to maintain a scholarship. You—who was sarcastic and could come off as a little bitchy—yes, you—were all too willing to respond in kind.

First, it had been the man-spreading. Jeon Jungkook sat like he had the biggest elephant nuts of the century. He sat with one leg pressed against you, the other stretched out lax in front of him. It was the touching that bothered you. Jungkook created heat like a furnace, and you didn’t like being touching by people you didn’t know or like. So, you scrunched away from him, curling around the other armrest until your other seat neighbor glared at the both of you. Your row already had such limited space. It was a lecture hall, for God’s sake.

Not to mention all the women that flocked to his seat. You’d had to ask more than one girl to move after coming into class and finding them surrounding him, like he was God’s gift to women. As if. Sure, the guy was nice to look at, but he knew it, and his confidence bordered on an arrogance that made your blood boil. It only got worse when he watched you shoo them away—smirking, knowing it annoyed you. A type of smirk that said, “Don’t you wish you were them?”

No, you self-assured motherfucker. Quit looking at me like that.

Then, it had been the pen clicking—fuck, the pen clicking. Murder was imminent. By the second week, Jungkook had figured out that you hated pen clicking, so that’s exactly what he did.

After that came the Hydroflask Incident. Namely, Jungkook had spilled almost his entire hydroflask on your backpack. That was the worst one. All of your surrounding seatmates had gasped in horror and let you used their desks to air out your papers, which were almost soaked. Luckily, you hadn’t had any textbooks in your backpack at the time. Jungkook had apologized for that one, even looked a little guilty, but it didn’t matter—Jeon Jungkook was obviously the scum of the universe, and you would never accept any apology from him even if he begged you on his knees. He was trash, and that was that. You didn’t waste time on trash.

His face flashed in your mind—wide-eyed, soft-lipped. Why was he calling you from your friend’s phone? They weren’t hooking up, were they? The thought filled you with unexpected horror. “Where’s (Y/Fr/N)?”

There was a deep sigh. It really wasn’t fair that he sounded so good over the phone—everyone sounded ugly over the phone. It was the law! “Listen—she’s in pretty bad shape right now. She came to a party at my frat house and she ended up—maybe taking something?”

You sat up straight on the couch. (Y/Fr/N)? Yeah, she did some wild shit, but she’d never been a drug user. Hell, she’d tried pot back in high school and hadn’t even liked it.

“Taking something? Like what?”

“Uh—shrooms?”

You jaw dropped. Whatever Netflix show you’d been watching turned into static background noise. “What?”

“It was an accident! She was drunk and I think some guy offered her some, and she ate them without realizing it. I’ve got her cornered in my bedroom, but she’s having a really bad trip.”

That was all it took to get you scrambling to your feet. You were wearing a loose shirt and panties, but you tugged on a useless pair of sleep shorts while keeping the phone pressed to your ear with your shoulder.

“Do we need to call 911? Does she need a hospital—?”

“It’s not that bad—,”

“Not that bad? How do you know that? What if it was laced with something and she dies?”

This was so fucking typical. Jeon Jungkook, frat guy extraordinaire, not caring about a girl getting drugged in his own house. Why even call if he was going to act like it wasn’t a big deal?

“It’s not—,”

“This is your frat house, Jungkook! You’re responsible for what happens in it!”

“I fucking know that!” he finally snapped. You went silent in shock. “I know that, okay? We’re all freaking out right now and we already shut down the party! Jesus, Jimin broke that guy’s nose once we found out! I’m calling you because while I was looking through her phone to find someone to come help us, your name was the only one I recognized.”

You bit your lip, chastened. “What’s the address?”

“I’ll text it to you right now. Just—get here soon, okay? I’m afraid she’ll hurt herself.”

This was your worst nightmare, you realized. Something bad like this happening to someone you loved. You didn’t open up easy, so the people you did care about, you cared about hard.

“Has she thrown up?”

“I thought about making her, but I’ll be honest, I don’t know how to handle a situation like this. Alcohol and weed are the only stuff we allow on our property, so whoever this guy was, he snuck in.”

You slipped on your flipflops and dashed out the door. You were surprised to see Jungkook’s frat house was only several blocks away. Perfect, because you didn’t want to wait for an Uber, if you were even lucky enough to find one at this hour. You ran a hand through your hair and tried to shape it into something presentable. Had you showered today? No, you hadn’t. But that didn’t matter.

“Just—sit with her until I get there. Please.”

“I already have been,” he said, surprisingly gentle. “I got her some water and tried to get her to eat, but she wouldn’t take anything from me. She can’t recognize any of us, and she’s scared to death. That’s why I decided to call a friend in her phone. I don’t know anything about her family and didn’t want to immediately call the police and get us all busted. The guy swore up and down it was just shrooms before we kicked him out.”

“Maybe the police are what that guy deserves,” you huffed, pressing the button for the elevator. You lived on the seventh floor and planned to sprint the entire way there, so you might as well conserve your energy.

His silence was telling, until, “If she wants to contact the police after this, we’ll help her.”

Your jaw dropped. You knew damn well that half the people that went to his frat’s parties were underaged, drunk and maybe worse. Calling the police would get everyone in a lot of shit. Some of them might even get expelled, arrested.

Frankly, you had expected him to beg you not to let that happen. His easy compliance shocked you.

Along with his easy compliance, his compassion shocked you as well. He said he’d been trying to care for your friend before calling you, which was more than you expected from some random frat guy who didn’t know her from Eve. A surprisingly kind gesture, from someone who had only shown you distain.

“Well,” you grunted, after collecting yourself. “We’ll see what she says. I’ll be there in five minutes.”

You hung up without another word. The elevator was approaching the first floor, and when it opened, you sprinted out of the lobby and down the street, following the path Google Maps had given you.

You were completely out of breath by the time you found his frat. You’d lost your flipflops somewhere after the first block. It was an old, big house—almost mansion-like. Beer bottles and plastic cups were littered across the lawn, signs of a party ended too quickly. You bounded to the front door and knocked loudly.

No reply. You knocked again, longer. Nothing. You were ready to try the door handle when it turned, and the door was pulled back.

A hard-faced and intimidating boy opened the door an inch. He looked young, but still a little older than Jungkook. He stared at you in frustrated annoyance.

“We said the party’s over.”

“I’m (Y/Fr/N)’s friend,” you panted. “Jungkook called me.”

Immediately, the boy’s face morphed into one of relief. He swung open the door, and you realized he had bright blue hair. “Thank God. I’m sorry. I thought you were here for the party.”

Your lip curled in disgust at the though. “Well, I’m not. Excuse me.”

You shouldered him out of the way a bit, taking in the space. It was definitely a frat house. It smelled like an aging brewery. There were several other men in the room who openly stared at you. For a moment, you were embarrassed by your attire, but the moment passed quickly.

“Where’s Jungkook?” you asked the room. Several of them pointed to a staircase in the corner. “Thank you.”

You took the stairs two at a time before almost running into someone at the top. He must have been waiting for you. For the first time, the sight of Jeon Jungkook filled you with complete joy and relief. His face, in comparison, was more shocked and horrified.

“Jesus, (Y/N)—where are your shoes?”

“Where is she?”

“You’re barely dressed—,”

“Jungkook.”

He sighed, accepting defeat. “She’s in my room, this way.”

Jungkook led you down the dark and empty hallway until you came to a door. It had several posters hanging on it, but you didn’t know of what. He pressed his ear to the door for a moment to listen before finally opening it, sensing your worried impatience.

The light was off. You got a sense of a modest-sized space, painted a dark color. There was a desk with a wicked gaming center set up on it, a dresser, and—there, a bed. You could see a shapeless lump on it that turned into a person the harder you stared.

“Hey, (Y/Fr/N),” you said, soothingly. She was curled up in a ball at the foot of the bed, head buried in the blanket. You turned to Jungkook. “Could you give us some privacy?”

His face creased. “She might get violent.”

“That’s okay, I’ll be fine.”

Your friend looked up when she started to register your voice, and said, “(Y/N)!”

She scrambled off the bed and threw herself at you. Jungkook tensed, and moved almost as if to defend you, but all your friend did was collapse in your embrace and begin to sob. She blubbered something, but you couldn’t make out what she was saying. You were certain it had something to do with whatever hallucinations her bad trip was producing.

Jungkook looked at her guiltily. “Has she ever taken anything like this?”

“She’s smoked some weed, but nothing more serious.”

You led your friend to the bed and helped her lie down, still shaking and sobbing. You held her hand and she gripped you tightly, like she was afraid you would let go.

“It’s okay,” you reassured her, keeping your voice calm and steady without being too sappy. “I know it’s bad right now, but you’re safe. I’m here with you, and this will be over soon.”

You laid down until you were across from her, watching her rock back and forth. You used your thumb to wipe her wet face. “Jungkook—could you bring me some tissues?”

You didn’t look as he left, or when he came back. He handed you a roll of toilet paper.

“Sorry,” he muttered. “It’s all we have.”

“It’s fine,” you assured him, voice still soft. You didn’t see it, but Jungkook’s gaze lingered on you, suddenly struck by your kindness. In class, you were often so cold and reserved. It was startling for him to see you so suddenly and painfully human.

He felt guilty for thinking that. He wasn’t going to lie and pretend he liked you, but he didn’t not like you, which you seemed to assume.

It was like you purposefully made yourself hard to get along with. Jungkook was an easygoing guy—maybe a little introverted, but friendly, at least. At first, he’d thought you were that way too. Until he very quickly realized you were just stuck-up and mean.

Well, that was harsh. You weren’t mean, and if you were, it was because he messed with you. To be honest, he couldn't actually pinpoint exactly why he liked doing that. Sometimes, it was just nice to get underneath your skin. To see your perfect composure crack, with just the clicking of his pen.

He just wished you didn’t look at him like he was a bug to be squished underneath your shoe.

Jungkook didn’t consider himself a frat guy, whatever that was. He was a guy, and he was in a frat. Why did putting those two together suddenly erase every other part of his personality? Before, he was Jeon Jungkook—kind, honest, handsome, talented, funny. But now, he’s Jeon Jungkook—frat guy.

That was the only part you seemed to care about. Why should he be compelled to think any kinder about you? To him, you were just a judgmental, possibly even cold-hearted classmate.

But that was before—before he saw you like this. Before he watched you wipe snot from your friend’s nose with your sleeve when the toilet paper wasn’t doing the job. He sank to the floor, mollified with the knowledge that your friend probably wasn't going to attack you at any given moment.

You wiped the snot from your friend’s nose, and the drool from her mouth. You tried to wipe off her smudged and running makeup as best as you could. She was still sniffling, eyes shut tight like she was afraid to open them.

After what must have been at least an hour, her trembling stopped. Her hand was lax in your own, and her breathing evened out. She had finally, finally fallen asleep, while you murmured reassurances into the still space between her face and your own.

You observed her, making sure she didn’t look sick or sallow. Making sure she was still breathing. Your own eyes were dry and stinging, but you weren’t tired enough to sleep. Another half-hour went by like this, until you felt confident enough to extract her hand from your own and carefully climb off the bed.

Your body was slightly sore, and you turned to stretch—and saw Jungkook asleep by the door, body slumped forward.

You stopped. He looked softer in his sleep. His face was suddenly round and painfully young. His mouth was open slightly, air whistling between his lips. His hair was stuck up in front from constantly running his hand through it, and his skin was paler—too pale. His dark circles stood out. He was still wearing jeans and a t-shirt, which you assumed he’d been wearing at the party.

A glance at your phone confirmed that it was only three in the morning. You walked back around the bed and covered your friend with the blanket, making sure she was comfortable. You gently removed her shoes. She snuggled deeper into the pillow, still clinging to sleep.

You moved back toward the door. You crouched down until you were close to Jungkook’s face.

“Hey,” you whispered, reaching out to poke his shoulder gently. He jumped suddenly, whacking his head against the door.

He gasped in pain while you cringed for him. Reaching up, you cradled the back of his head and rubbed gently to help with the pain. It was a sudden, intimate gesture, but you were still in mothering mode. He allowed it, staring sleepily into the dark. You glanced back at your friend to make sure she hadn’t been woken by the thud.

“Can we step outside?” you asked, voice still low. He winced and nodded, climbing unsteadily to his feet. The two of you slipped outside, leaving your friend comfortable and still asleep in the bed.

The hallway was pitch black, but you could see light coming from the bottom of the staircase. Jungkook slipped his hand in your own and led you in that direction. His hand was warm and slightly rough, and you squeezed it subconsciously. He squeezed back. In the darkness of the hallway, so late at night, and after dealing with such a scary and pressing situation, almost nothing felt real—it was almost like a strange dream.

He let go of your hand at the bottom of the staircase. You let him.

A lamp glowed dimly in the corner. In the living room was another boy. You recognized him as the one who had answered the door. He was lounging on the couch, scrolling through his phone. He jerked up when he saw you.

“Is she okay?” he asked, speaking in a whisper. Like it was too late at night and the room was too empty to use a regular speaking voice.

“I think she’ll be fine,” you replied. “She’s gotten past the worst of it, and now she’s asleep. I wanted to grab her a glass of water for when she wakes up.”

You turned toward Jungkook. “Where’s your kitchen?”

The other boy jumped off the couch before he could reply. “I’ll show you.”

“Taehyung,” Jungkook said, lowly. Almost gruffly. His morning voice? “I’ve got it.”

Taehyung stopped and raised an eyebrow. He eyed Jungkook, suspiciously. Something passed between the two of them, but you were too tired and mentally occupied to focus on it.

You tugged on the sleeve of Jungkook’s shirt and demanded, “Kitchen.”

The weird eye contact between Jungkook and Taehyung was broken, and he turned to you. “Yeah, it’s this way.”

He led you, but Taehyung followed anyway. The kitchen was modest and much cleaner than you expected. As if sensing your surprise, Jungkook snorted.

“You really think we’re animals, don’t you?” he asked. He opened a cabinet and grabbed a glass, while you flushed.

“I don’t,” you defended. You were feeling a bit ashamed. You’d thought some harsh things about Jungkook, and even if you hadn’t said them out loud, they still influenced how you’d treated him. Tonight, you’d gotten an opportunity to see a different side of him—one that you hadn’t allowed yourself to see before.

Suddenly, everything he’d ever done to you felt petty. So, what, he clicked his pen? He spilled water on your backpack? What did stuff like that matter? Why had you let it affect you so much?

“Yes, you do,” he replied. “You’re always so quick to think the worst of us.”

“Bold statement to make from a boy whose frat hosted the party my friend was drugged at.”

He and Taehyung winced, but then so did you. You could recognize a low blow, even if you were the one that had delivered it. There must be something wrong with you. Hadn’t you just been thinking you were being a huge bitch?

“I’m sorry,” you apologized, immediately. “I know that’s not the whole picture. I didn’t mean for it to sound that judgmental.”

Jungkook stared, and you flushed. “I mean—I know I can do that. Be more judgmental than I realize. And it’s true that sometimes I’m more inclined to think badly of you. But I know that’s just me being a bitch about it.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Taehyung butted in, drawing your attention and Jungkook’s ire. “This is our frat, and it’s our fault something like this happened. We should be more careful about who we invite and who we let in.”

Taehyung moved until he was standing next to you and continued. “It’s easy to have a negative opinion on frat life. I’m sorry that we had to prove you right tonight.”

Your flush deepened, but this time because of attention instead of embarrassment. Christ, where had Jungkook been hiding such a handsome and well-spoken frat brother? If you’d met him first instead of Jeon, maybe your opinion on frat life wouldn’t be so negative.

Jungkook narrowed his eyes at the interaction. It made his skin tingle and his chest burn. He filled the glass he’d gotten with water and thrusted it toward you. “Here. We should go back up.”

Taehyung looked at him in confusion as you took the glass. “Just stay down here and sleep on the couch with me, man. I was gonna stay to get an early start on cleaning tomorrow morning.” He looked at you suddenly. “What did you say your name was again?”

“She didn’t,” Jungkook said, at the same time you replied, “(Y/N).”

Taehyung smiled. It was boxy. Adorable. “(Y/N) and (Y/Fr/N) can sleep in your bed, and you can sleep down here with me. Right?”

Jungkook frowned. “I’m fine on the floor. I want to be there if something happens.”

You opened your mouth to protest, but Jungkook shot you such a sudden glare that your teeth snapped shut. Taehyung eyed him again, except this time in amusement.

“Okay,” he shrugged. He looked back at you and smiled, but there was something more to it—it was playful, teasing. “Thank you for coming over, (Y/N). You’re a devoted friend.”

You smiled at the compliment. “I’m just doing what I’m supposed to do.”

“You’re doing a lot more than a lot of people would be willing,” he corrected, making your smile widen.

“Yeah, she’s great,” Jungkook snapped, sarcastically. “We need to go back.”

You narrowed you eyes at him, but let it go. It was time to let it all go. You were tired of being bitter and thinking you were justified for it.

The three of you wished each other good night before Jungkook took you back to his room, hand on the small of your back while you climbed the dark staircase. You stopped near the top, where it was still bright enough to see most of his face.

“You okay?” he asked, concerned. You nodded and looked away.

“Yeah, I just—,” and you stopped, unsure. “I’m sorry, I’m so bad at this. But I just feel like I owe you an apology.”

His jaw dropped. “What?”

You sighed. Did he have to be so dramatic? This was already hard for you. “I meant what I said earlier, about thinking the worst of you. When we first met, I was already in a super bad mood. We got off on the wrong foot.” You looked at his face. “I definitely thought you were just some ignorant fuckboy frat guy, but worse than that, I really didn’t try to see you as anything else. I accepted my bad impression of you and let it color my judgment toward everything you did. That was wrong of me.”

You glanced down the hallway, toward his room. “Thank you for calling me. I’m really grateful you were able to take care of (Y/Fr/N) before I got here. You didn’t have to do that. She’s not even your friend.”

Jungkook watched your face closely as you continued. “So, what I’m really trying to say is—I’m sorry for being rude. I’m sorry for not taking the time to get to know you. And I’m sorry for not giving you a chance. It’s a bad reflection of my character. Thank you for putting up with me, and thank you for helping me tonight.”

You waited a bit in stuffy silence. You weren’t sure what you were expecting—for him to laugh in you face, maybe. For him to at least acknowledge your apology. You were getting nervous until he finally said, “I’m sorry, too,”

You let out a surprised noise, and he continued. “You’re not the only guilty one. I did the exact same thing. I didn’t take the time to get to know you because I thought you weren't worth getting to know. I thought you were rude and uptight, and I went out of my way to annoy you because of it. That was wrong of me and I was being a huge dick. It wasn’t until tonight that I saw you as like, an actual person.”

“What did you see me as before?” you asked, slightly amused.

“I don’t know. A robot or something.” At your offended look, he was quick to continue. “But no offense! You’re just always in class, always paying super close attention, never talking. Sometimes, I don’t even think you breathe.”

You tried to find it in yourself to be offended, but then—you laughed. You laughed hard enough to make the water in the glass you were holding slosh precariously, and until finally, Jungkook laughed too.

“Yeah,” you agreed, still chuckling. “I’m sorry. I take myself a little too seriously sometimes.”

“That’s not a bad thing,” he said. “I probably don’t take myself seriously enough. I know I’m goofy, but my grades—,” and here he stopped, grimacing, “—are bad. Really bad. Especially in chemistry.”

“I can help you out, if you want,” you offered. It was time to start wrapping up your conversation. You didn’t want to leave your friend alone for much longer. “We can study together.”

He seemed shocked. “Really?”

“Totally,” you agreed. “I mean, I suck at chemistry too. Maybe we can help each other.”

Jungkook stared at you a moment longer. If seeing you act kind with your friend had been a shocker, this was somehow even worse—seeing you actively friendly. He was certain, after tonight, and after your apology, that your cold and anti-social persona hide a surprisingly welcoming and caring heart. How willfully blind he must have been to have missed it.

Then he smiled, almost shyly. A surprising bunny smile, very different from the smug one he usually wore in class. “Yeah. Maybe we can.”

The two of you went back to his room. He creaked open the door and let you through, closing it behind him. It was still dark, but your eyes were more adjusted. You could hear your friend lightly snoring on the bed, and could make out a lump under the blanket.

As you made your way deeper into the room, Jungkook seated himself by the door again and leaned against it for support. You winced in sympathy for his back.

“I’m sorry you have to sleep on the floor,” you whispered. Jaw clicking, you suppressed a yawn. Maybe you would be able to get some sleep.

“It’s fine.” And then, “I’m used to having plenty of women in my bed.”

You scoffed lightly. Of course he’d say some stupid shit like that right after your heart-to-heart. “Don’t ruin our friendship before it can begin, Jeon.”

“Is that what this is?” he asked. “A friendship?”

“Go to bed.” You set the glass down on the bedside table and climbed in next to your friend. She was still sleeping peacefully, mouth ajar and breathing evenly.

A minute later, once the two of you had settled, you heard a quiet, “Good night, (Y/N).”

Your lip quirked as you tried to suppress a smile. “Good night, Jungkook.

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shabba-zams · 4 years ago

Text

INSPIRED BY ELAINE

I think it's time, we confronted the situation in front of us

And I think it's time we talk it out and forget all the fuss

And it is not me.. There just isn't an us no more like Bible class

Our time is up, like sand falling thru an hour glass, in an hour class

You always say you have no clue but surely eNCA, know more

You mad at me, the silent treatment and you call it normal

You're bad for me, I was ur biggest fan - u such a baddie

You're bad to me, I'm your only fan, love it when u call me daddy

I'm sad for you, you hid your "Onlyfans" from me, you dirty

I'm thirsty, right now you looking all sexy, girly, flirty, all nerdy

You're needy, greedy, full of pity, always eating, mouth fully meaty, too demanding, nasty lazy, bitch u crazy

I'm giving, forgiving, plain loving, still thirsty but dripping in sauce

You're tripping, I flick my wrist then flick the bean (BDSM)

You're dribbing, my dick be crippling

You be stroking my penis, asking what my pin is

Bust a nut, wipe a continent from your chest

Yeah, that's what pain is

And then I knew you're not the One

Coz you were never the only one

I don't give out many chances, you get just the one

Party on campus, ur too antisocial, never my plus one

Plus size model, thick mama, BBW, voloptuous, ur curvatious

Luv ur onion booty, it makes me cry & it's more than 1 layer

Yeah im full of games, bstill no player

Dinner for 2, right b4 I eat u up, say my prayer

Bad dream, devils hour, I wake, u staring like, Heya! That's creepy

Okay lemme be real with u, it ain't your fault

I just couldn't be real around you, I couldn't be myself

I was losing myself tryinna please U

My face was your chair, no please U.. I can't breathe

I need air, u don't care, I pull ur hair, that's not fair

Face clean, no make up, take teddy bear, then make up sex

We're role playing, you're now Claire, Blair or Nonhle

Shared my, heart and love with u

I ain't mad at u, we don't c I2I

U & I was both invested, we tested

All that loud in the air, sippin wine we wasted

Danced all night then rested

My place or yours instead

Always kept you interested, kept me well fed

It's lessons learned not time wasted

Why you making me choose between you & the booze

I know you hate how I'm hung like a moose

Getting your creative juices flowing, like your muse

Misuse my tongue, amuse ur lower lips, abuse your sleep

Team nocturnal, feeling your intestine with my external

Loving you all night and day, feels eternal

I'm sorry but I'm not ready for anal

But that pussy imma turn into a canal

You dislike my love/hate relationship with social media

I bring a home cooked meal but all you do is take away

I mean it's healthier and bonus it makes financial sense

Lemme keep my 2 cents, common sense ain't common

That's nonsense, why you so tense? We don't make sense

I still sense your anger from when I tried to fvck ur friend

Then my close friend who's my best friends girlfriend

Yeah, I fvcked up, I own up, let's roll up

That's not tea in my cup, let's go up

Talk at the roof top, "nigga just grow up"

You're yelling, screaming, bout to blow up

I'm cocky, saying shit like I was your glow up

"Hol'up, nigga please just shut the fvck up

You always say you coming but never show up"

"You're right, I'm sorry I left you sick to go drink

I felt like I was drowning until my sorrows' lungs were filled with H2O

Made it up 2 u tho, made you cum 6 times..no? 7 I think, who's counting

You a liability, I'm an asset... I mean it's just accounting

You lack reliability, for your mistakes ur never accounting

You hate my ability to feel everything and still be wholesome

Coz you just wanna feel good all the time

But my feelings be fluctuating, I just won't be faking

Stop tolerating the neglect Im getting

Get liquid with it

Happiness is the yin and sadness is the yang

Sometimes I drink gin, only when I'm with my gang

There's a burn hole on my jean, maybe a ciggie, or dank

But now I get bank, I want no skank that smoke skunk

Has that sank? Yeah I know, I'm a think tank, tick

Talk all you want, but keep it short like tik-tok

Tic toc, times up, take tsek.. tic tac 4 your bad breath

2 these beats I bring death, yeah I take life, no bring back

Break dance & break back, ahead of you like 3 laps

Brick dance coz my money grows while I nap nap

Hahaha gimme 3 claps coz my puns still slap

I'm real black, I'm bout to snap at all this crap

These niggaz decided to call rap

Lame rappers, listen up, sit down and don't talk back

Don't turn no other cheek, clap back or get ur wolf pack

Crack back, don't fight niggaz that look lyk they fap-fap

Or smoke crack crack, with eyes doing a criss cross

Came across many rappers that steal rap lines or rap names like Rick Ross to get their point across

Gamble with your life & hit crap

Lost your wife on my Whatsapp, there's that!

She pole dance in my DM's, she excels

She got a flat tummy till she exhales, but sex sells

She call me Haploid, like sex cells

She's cold like may weather, F Lloyd!

I'm a Record breaker, planet shaker, Constant risk taker

Ask the chain breaker how I stay shining

He'll answer, I stay grinding, on God!

I'm not a smile faker, just a soul snatcher in the fast lane

Wubba lubba dub dub, Rick and Morty

Life and death drive, ask Freud or Boyd

Leading a wild life like Varty, bitter sweet like chutney

I'm bored, so we party in my bed, my bad, honey!

Ass-ass-ass, she clap ass 3 times before 4(play)

Nurse-nurse-nurse, I slap ass tats when we role playin

Looking all photogenic, oops a nip slip on tape

Phat ass on my iOS, like real life

Ass flat on android, that's what they look like

No steroids, my dick big don't nje just

She look at my shoe size and run away at 1st chance

I'm an asteroid not space dust, she came fast

Then I came too, at last, she said out loud

I'm heartless at first glance, til I made her soul dance

Think fast, mouth 2 mouth ur low lips, I'm a medic

Nudes is explicit, is you a nymph or manic?

Nymphomaniac please don't panic

Your style so sick, bout to start a pandemic

We'll playback with your jeans off, relay... ground rules

No replay or pause only gonna press play once

No safewords, whatever works works, word!

Girl you a baddie, and a Pedi, go spoil yourself

Get a mani &a pedi

Dick in mouth, still out spoken, can't put words in mouth

U said I'm a keeper

Silver spoon in her mouth but I still feed her

Feel her up then fill her up, I eat her up

I feed her jollof right before I pipe her, I like her

Never gonna wife her, don't really love her

She's rude like something' crawled up her...

Foul mouth like up yours!

I know around your feelings I should tip toe

It's unfortunate coz I don't tip Joe's (askies jo)

Like excuse me waiter where should I dip those fries, french

Kiss hoes toes, mxwa, Zulu man with a foot fetish, tip toe

Articulate the truth, use tactics lyk rotten tomatoes on bad movies

I'm not perfect, I pose a threat even if a picture's moving

I'm booming, you're blooming... I'm nice nice, ur gloomy

I'm grooming u, like your cult leader

Avid reader, your soul feeder, I'm no people pleaser

I need a lady thats rooted in love and still rooting for me

Unconditional love lyk the kind that died on the cross 4 me

Is that you? No? Then miss me Miss, think I'm gonn miss ya!

Coz now it's

A goodbye to you, I'm thru witchu, it's true I confess

Wish you nothing but the best

Somebody to love you, put you first for the rest of

All the days to come, to you I

Remain a good friend, no benefits just perks

Straight facts, ex lover with strange quirks... You

Are

The

One... Who will be the godmother to my heir

So if I die, you'll raise HIM or raise HER

Erase Her memory of me if it's too painful to hold on to

Make sure he's playful, careful and joyful too

U'll be a good mom, ur delightful unlyk most step mothers

You're a good teacher that's patient but always on time

You'll know what to do if ever my daughter runs late

Scratch that, you'll be a great mother, that's fate

Becoz you're a leader, not deceitful like some bad fathers

#IWriteWhatILike #poetry #dead poets society #poets on tumblr

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raisingsupergirl · 6 years ago

Text

The Easiest Job in the World

So, my wife was gone at a conference for three days recently, and she pawned the kids off on me. And after seventy-six hours as a single parent, I came to one conclusion—keeping kids alive is easy. I don't say this to get a rise out of all the caretakers out there. I'm dead serious. There was literally nothing hard about feeding, changing, bathing, protecting, and entertaining my two daughters, who are weeks away from turning one and four. But I do have to admit that there was a bit of a twist that I didn't see coming.

Going into it, I knew my extended weekend was going to come with challenges. I had a vague notion that the main thing was going to be the non-stop nature of caregiving, which, if I'm being honest, was my biggest fear. You see, I'm not a jogger. I'm a sprinter. I don't procrastinate. I work four, 10-hour days to get my week done as quickly as possible. I don't keep a to-do list because when something comes up, I almost always find a way to get it done immediately. I bust my tail for the shortest amount of time possible so I can then sit out on my porch in silence—nothing but my thoughts and something on the rocks to keep me company. And as you can probably imagine, being a temporary single parent of two children wouldn't exactly line up with my all-or-nothing personality.

And because I did have a little foresight (blurry as it may have been), my plan was to make zero plans during this little exparentment. I knew I wouldn't work outside, finish any handyman projects (not that I'm all that handy under the best of circumstances), do any significant writing, hang out with friends, or shower nearly as often as I wanted. It's not that I couldn't have done these things, it's just that I wanted to somewhat enjoy my weekend with the girls, and (because of my aforementioned personality) getting greedy with my expectations would have surely ended in frustration. And yet, for all my planning and optimism, the experience still taught me a few valuable life lessons:

First, I understand now why stay-at-home moms are chronically sleep deprived. As I said, it was clear from the outset that I was never going to be off-duty. But I'd heard rumors of these things called naps where kids would go off-line and their parents could choose to either catch up on sleep themselves or have some desperately-needed alone time. It seemed simple enough to me that I could either go to bed when the kids did and use their nap times as "me time" (aka shower, go to the bathroom, stare at a wall without, "Daddy. Hey, Daddy.") or stay up after the kids went to bed and catch up on sleep during their daytime naps. And since I'm a night owl, option two sounded like a winner. The problem is, after staying up until 2:00 a.m. reading/watching movies that aren't rated PG/staring at the aforementioned wall and then waking up with the kids at 7:00 a.m., the patience and effort it took to put them down for a quality nap seemed daunting at best. And when the youngest did finally throw in the towel (did I mention that she was teething? More on that in a moment), I realized that the older one desperately wanted some daddy-daughter time. That, combined with the fact that my body will not allow me to sleep while the sun is up, meant that daddy naps were out of the question. Thus began the vicious cycle of five hours of sleep per night. And never again will I judge my wife for "choosing" to exchange valuable sleep for playing on Facebook.

Second, putting a toddler to bed at night is enough for anyone to find God. As I mentioned earlier, my youngest is in the agonizing throes of teething. And she's still breast-feeding. Which meant our bedtime routine was less than ideal. I'm still not sure why she thought rooting furiously at my chest would somehow cause me to spontaneously lactate (I will take the details of her efforts to my grave), but it became immediately apparent that it would require nothing short of a miracle to get her to sleep and then transfer her to her crib without blood-curdling screams. And so, I turned to prayer. Desperate, anxiety-filled prayer. And ever time I successfully crept away from her bedroom like a ninja and closed the door, I felt the need to give up all of my worldly possessions and devote my life to a merciful God.

Third, it's never too young to start a kid on Harry Potter. My oldest who, as I said, is getting ready to turn four, is neck-deep in My Little Pony and Moana, but there's only so much pink and purple that I can handle, so in an effort to preserve the last thread of my sanity, I figured I'd give the wizarding world a try. The result? We watched thirteen hours of J.K. Rowling's theatrical adaptations in two days. And with any luck, after we've watched the remaining three movies, she'll want us to start in on books. Is it bad for me to say that this is the best thing to come out of the whole experience?

Fourth, I completely understand why stay-at-home moms look homeless most of the time. I left my home twice over the weekend, and both times I realized too late how much I'd neglected my own basic hygiene. The first time, I literally turned my shirt inside out to hide the dried food covering it. I'm not a vain person, but my level of dishevelity (yes, I know it's not a word, but I'm sleep deprived and doing the best I can here) in those moments was truly appalling. So the next time you see someone with stained clothes and bloodshot eyes, please don't offer them a dollar. They'd much prefer that you just ignored them altogether.

Fifth, and perhaps most importantly, I realized that it really is easy to be a parent, but being a good parent is a different story. Beyond the basics of meals, naps, baths, and changing dirty diapers, we did manage to have a little fun. We played outside, went to the park, bought some fish for the new aquarium, and picked blueberries at the local Libertyville Farms. But aside from a few "teachable moments," my oldest didn't learn a thing, and my youngest didn't practice her walking or talking. I'd like to think they appreciated having their dear old dad around more, but I'm not sure they're any better for it. And I now completely understand how some kids make it to kindergarten without being able to spell their own names.

In short, I stand by my statement. There was nothing hard about being the sole caregiver for my children. But there's no way I would want my wife's job (or that of the true single parents out there. They're nothing short of saints). I'm sure there are some nut-jobs who actually enjoy having no identity beyond that of their children, but they're definitely not in the majority. As such, the self-sacrifice of stay-at-home parents is now clearer to me than ever. As is their desire to continue with their commitment. Those nights when my kids were sleeping soundly in their beds, I would stand over them and smile. It was an exhausted, bittersweet smile, but it brought a joy that can't be found anywhere else. It is both the best and worst job on the planet. Hence the paradox. So, I give thanks to my wife for her commitment, even if I sometimes envy her after I come home from a long day at the office. And hopefully I will now be a little more sympathetic when she occasionally complains about spending her days and nights with our angelic children.

But for now, you'll have to excuse me. A hot shower and a full night's sleep are calling my name.

#parenting #single parent #stay at home mom #momblr #mumblr #dadblr #Libertyville Farms #Harry Potter #blueberry picking

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thisbrutalbelle · 7 years ago

Photo

chatzy with @ianncardero, feat. penny.

bella and iann speak to iann’s ex-wife about letting them go, she agrees to help them escape the facility.

tw: blood, guns, kidnapping.

Bella rose, eyes fluttering. Her make-up had been removed upon her arrival and since healing she probably looked particularly odd. Her skin was a little more textured despite lacking the discolouration of most humans, her lashes were thin and a light brown shade making them near invisible, her lips were a natural hue, and her brows were almost nonexistent. This was the first thought she had, of course, before she tried to stand, lifting her hand to feel tough metal, jerking more and realising she was not going to be able to stand up. That was when it hit her, what had happened and she let out a self-loathing sigh. "Let me out!" she screamed, though she knew it would do no good. It felt better to try. "Wasn't that what you wanted? Let me go!" she repeated, distracting herself from thoughts of Iann's terrified face.

The 'tour', such as it was, ended up being vague but informative nonetheless. Iann learned a few things, not that he shared any of it with Penny. What he gathered, from the other masked black ops people around the compound, was that they were underground; how deep Iann didn't really know, but it seemed pretty damn deep. It also seemed to be a pretty good set-up. Fully self-sufficient, sprawling. Iann was surprised at the level of sophistication, and even asked Penny how the hell this was all being funded. Penny gave him that sly side-smile of hers and mentioned private corporate interested parties, then laughed because she knew that would drive Iann nuts. Anything corporate did, just as anything overly-governmental did. "Trust me - we got money coming out of our ass. This whole supernatural business is big money." But it was all for the greater good - that was what she kept maintaining, and Iann eventually grew too tired to keep rolling his eyes everytime she said some nationalist jingo. Pride and loyalty and bravery and all those things Iann tended to scoff at. "I'm telling you, everything you're describing is everything Bellamy hates," Iann said. "She doesn't give a damn about fighting the good fight."

When the tour was over, Iann was brought back to a medical wing, where Bellamy was being contained in one of the rooms. "She's recovering in there. You can go talk to her, you're perfectly safe," Penny tried to reassure Iann, even if he gave a snort at that. "Take you're time, huh? I'll be out here. And please, Iann - please don't try to do anything stupid. I know that's hard for you, but you know. Just try?"

Iann gave Penny one more eyeroll for good measure, before he was let into Bellamy's room. He hustled over to her, looking at the medical equipment to check the readings of her vitals. It was clearly set up for a vampire-healing, not a human's. "Bellamy?"

Eventually Bella settled, looking at the IV that was in her arm, pissed off that she was being force fed some kind of bad blood, basically fucking gruel in her opinion when she had made her demands quite clear. In this it was evident that Iann was right, Bellamy did not care about the greater good and she did not care about fighting. Bellamy cared for herself above all else. In some ways this was her biggest undoing but as of late it had been her strongest asset. She had learnt, through all of her misdeeds that if she truly wanted to be happy she could not actively pursue immediate self-gratification but consider long term affects. She could put others first then by knowing later putting them first would ultimately bring her the most happiness, either by knowing she was not bound to someone who did not truly want to be connected to her or by being happily engaged in a connection with someone who did.

Perhaps this thought process was why it hurt Bellamy so much to think on Iann feeling the affects of her metuo sanguis. Long term she needed Iann, his friendship and protection was unquantifiable to her, a rare quality to find in any person. To think in trying to save him immediately had possibly damaged their long term friendship pained her. It also silenced her, Bellamy no longer screaming at the top of her lungs, instead closing her eyes and trying to find him in the building, knowing his heartbeat was one she could find in a crowd so a building would not be ultimately difficult. She frowned though when it seemed so close before hearing her name, blinking once her twice.

"Pa?" Bella asked, still not completely trusting that he had been brought back to her. It seemed as though they didn't trust her, being bound as she was. "Who was that?" she asked, having heard a heartbeat so close to his own move away.

"It's me, mija, it's Iann," he said, coming closer. He was covered in the edelweiss flowers, a precaution from Penny which had surprised Iann somewhat. He figured she wanted to prove that Bellamy wouldn't hurt him while in her turned state, with or without the edelweiss. So to be carefully decorated with them made Iann think...what? That she somehow cared? Iann didn't want his mind to go there, and he was sure Penny wouldn't want it either. Regardless, he was reunited with Bellamy now, and he pulled up a stool and sat beside her. "How're you feeling?"

It was hard to look at him and not be able to hold him. Each part of her body wanted to just wrap herself up in his arms and ask how he was going to get them out of there. Logically she knew she was stronger, especially now they'd fed her up, but he was always the one that knew what to do, knew how to fix something awful. Yet, he seemed to merely sit and her eyes flickered to the camera on the ceiling, the CCTV one she had spotted upon arising and wondering if perhaps he was putting on some sort of show. It was an easier thought than thinking he did not, at the very least, take her hand because he was afraid of her. "I'm so sorry, I thought-I thought the glass would keep it in," Bellamy said because how she was feeling was just worried, pushing her hand out to him as far as she could, fingers stretching to reach for his own hand while her forearm was now stuck tightly in the metal. "I didn't - If I died I thought -," Bella tried, only hearing excuses as she began. "I'm so sorry I scared you, Iann," she said. Words like 'I never' weren't going to be anything but excuses, and if he thought she was or was not at fault saying them would not change his mind. Actions only ever could.

"What? Bellamy - no, don't worry about that, I know you didn't mean it. It wasn't you anyway, it was the illness, hm?" Iann said, and when Bellamy's hand flexed to reach for him, Iann leaned forward and took it, gripping it tightly. Iann wasn't exactly the type of person to act rashly. He wasn't going to start pulling out the IV and tubes and trying to bust Bellamy out of her restraints just to do....what, exactly? Bellamy was stronger than him, but she'd be weaker than the soldiers outside those doors who could easily detain them and then they'd just be back to square one. "You...when it took you over, there was still some of you. You were...trying to save me," Iann said with a smile. He pet Bellamy's hair. "I know this is all really scary, but you're being healed right now, hm? We need you to be healed up..." Iann glanced up at the CCTV before he then said. "Before we can start talking about...what's happening here."

Bella began to shake her head and then nodded. Yes, and no. Yes, it technically was the illness but the illness hadn't made her shift. She had decided that, in part to save him, and, undeniably, in part to save herself too. She didn't have a death wish, least not currently, and she did not intend for Ephram and Miles and Teddy and Elena and Cassie and everyone who worked for her to imagine that she had just up and abandoned their friendship or their connection, whatever it was. "I know...," Bellamy rolled off, a little confused by his comment about her trying to save him. She remembered, did he think she had forgotten? That she had lost her faculties? "It didn't take over, I let it...rise," she reasoned. "It's not like before, it's not like when you and Ephram came to the house. That's...that's when it's all built up inside me. That's when there's so much I can't reach my own head. I'm taking my medicine, I had complete control of my mind, Iann. I...I've shifted a few times since that all happened, purposefully, and yes, I do want to do certain things more but it's still me. Even if I had got out of that cell I wouldn't have done anything to you, I'd have got you free and then found a way to get whatever I put inside you out," she insisted. That was her plan and it hadn't faultered when she'd shifted into her final state. Feeling his hand in her hair was comforting though, and his immediate acceptance that she hadn't done what she had maliciously or through just not caring made her worries fade away. "I need something alive," she whispered, trying to barely move her mouth in case they were watching her lips. "I haven't had live blood in over a week, I'm never going to be strong enough to take on anyone without it. Least not...like this," she said. Obviously knowing he would likely become immobilized with fear were she to become her black eyed creature self again.

It was all news to Iann, but it was good news, and despite their current situation Iann couldn't help but feel grateful for this new information about Bellamy's condition and her control. "Okay, I think I get it now," he said, but he knew he never actually would fully understand. Things would keep evolving, as Bellamy learned more about herself and the illness. Which was what made it so ironic that Penny's group seemed to think he was the expert; he wasn't. Bellamy was the expert on herself, as it should be. As for Bellamy feeding on someone live, Iann screwed his mouth to one side as he exhaled, looking up at the cameras again. "Sweetheart, none of these soldiers are going to let you feed on them." He looked down at his arm. "You could feed on me, if you like. Ah....if I drink your blood first, you know. Like how we've done before?"

"Why do they have to let me?" Bellamy asked, a little confused. In general, now, Bellamy was opposed to feeding on people that didn't agree to it. She hadn't fed on anyone that had not agreed since well before Teddy had found her the man of muscles she had dined on until she and Miles had struck their deal. This seemed an exceptional sort of case though and Bella's skewed logic dictated if they were so willing to treat her like an animal in a cage then why should she not act like one. "Why should I have to hurt you? Do you not think I should kill anyone here?" she asked him, frown coming over her brow. It wasn't angry so much as confused. Was it the sight of it he did not want? Another imagine in his head of her killing? Had he seen her kill before? Actually witnessed the act of it? She couldn't recall. "Who were you with?" Bellamy repeated her earlier question, realising he had ignored it.

"Ummm, I mean. I wouldn't recommend feeding on people by force..." It was the only way Iann could think that Bellamy could feed on anyone but him, and if Bellamy was confused about what he was saying then he was similarly confused about what she was saying. He felt apologetic, like he wasn't handling things right. Like once more Bellamy was expecting something brilliant from him, and he just wasn't delivering. He felt an inkling of helplessness, and then frustration that he was so helpless. "That one guy - Anton - he wasn't good to you, he didn't treat you well. The others, well. Not all of them are like that," Iann said, staring at Bellamy's collarbone as he spoke. He didn't believe that Bellamy would want to hear these words, and understandably so. Thus far, she'd been treated abhorrently, she had every right to despise everyone here and want to murder them all. "Killing more people won't help anything, mija...." Then the question again, which Iann had missed the first time because of his worry for her. "Um...well you see. One - one of the soldiers...mercenaries, whatever they are. It turns out that, ah...one of them - the human - she's actually, ah, my - my ex-wife. Penny. Hm? Penny's here."

Bella grasped his hand tightly that held her, not enough to break his hand or anything but certainly forceful. It was all she could do not the shake the chair as he insisted that there were people in this building that didn't have as malicious a set of actions in mind for her. It seemed unlikely, if they were watching then how were they better? Iann had not allowed her to continue her rampage, why should this man be allowed by his peers to burn her flesh and break her face. Yet, as she tried to think of someone in her life that would allow her rampage of the place, killing Anton at the very least, she suspected there was not a person that would and settled. Sinking into her chair he began to answer and Bella took a second to register before she blurted out her first thought. "I thought your first wife was dead," she commented, though there was every chance he'd never said that and she'd merely made the assumption with only half listening to him when they'd first befriended one another. "Is that why you're not in chains but I am? Tell her to let us go, Iann," she requested, voice growing louder. Why on Earth were they sitting there if someone could let them go?

"No she's not dead," Iann said, shaking his head as his thumb made circles on her small hand. "She's right outside." He wasn't in chains because there really was no point; what could Iann do to these people? He couldn't hurt them, even if he tried. One punch and he'd be out like a light. Bellamy on the other hand, could do damage, and a considerable amount. "I'm not in chains because I'm not you," Iann said, but he turned an ugly red at Bellamy's implication. "What do you want me to do? Just ask her to let you go? Like it's as simple as that?" Iann asked, frowning. He turned to the door. "Hey! Penny! Let us go!" He was greeted with silence, and then he just looked back at Bellamy. "Yell at me all you want, but that's not going to help anything."

Bella frowned at him now with an actual sternness as he sarcastically responded to her questions. It wasn't like she knew more than he did. It wasn't like she was meant to understand, especially in relation to his strength. It was a constant reminder she needed to place in her own head that Iann was not nearly as threatening as she was because in her mind he was entirely formidable. "And what will?" she responded, now actually yelling, shaking her arms vigorously as she sat their confined to her chair. It bred an anxiety in her that she loathed, the same anxiety that she had being trapped in that glass cell, the same anxiety she had felt in that cage in the basement of the vampire twins green house, the same anxiety that had risen when she realised she had invited a demon into her home and his intentions for her were not as he had claimed, and most obviously the anxiety that had first been gifted to her knowing she had been a caged bird all along with Valentin and had not known it. "Let me go!" she hollered loudly as her body shook violently in the chair. "Let me go! Let me go! Let me go!" she screamed, over and over as her hair thrashed about her face and she cut her arms on the metal, healing instantly. She probably screamed those words twenty times before her wet eyes shut and she leaned back in the chair, unable to move for desire to thrash was all she had.

"Patien--" Iann was about to answer her question, but then Bellamy started to scream. Over and over, she screamed and raged through her entire small body, as she once more started to destroy herself, and her body wouldn't let her. Iann closed his mouth and watched her, unable to stop her. Iann was filled with sadness, but his expression remained neutral, not angry or sad or anything. There was, after all, nothing he could do while Bellamy was like this. There was nothing anyone could do but witness her rage and anger.

Patience had always been lacking in the little vampire, something she had to learn and practice over time. But that behaviour came with the safety of her home, the safety of her companions and her work. Bellamy did not want this, she did not want to be here and slowly began to sob as she rested there. It was wrong, she needed to be proactive, put her feelings away and thing of what to do if he had not already formulated something but she could not. With all she had done for the past three days, starved herself, been asked questions without care to inform her of what was going on, then to see him there, trapped with her and remaining trapped still. It was more than she had prepared for and it ached inside of her to think she could want none of this and still find herself stuck being the monster, a monster that needed to be changed. "I want to go home," she cried, tears falling from her eyes and making her short lashes appear darker. "I just want to go home," she begged, eyes still closed and tears still falling from them. For all Anton had said, and for all the growing up she believed she had done, it was true that Bella was still a spoiled child. Why would she not be? Bellamy was still a twenty-four year old girl who ached inside regularly, put into this she felt wronged, like her efforts were meaningless. "What do I do?" she asked.

Of course Iann wanted to try and think of a way to escape and get back home, but he was under considerable stress as well. Definitely not as much or no where near Bellamy's which was why so much of Iann's attention and concentration was currently focused on her. Every thing that happened to her, all of her screaming and her threats and her injuries and all her suffering, that was what filled Iann's brain above everything else. He couldn't think about getting out, until he knew that Bellamy was going to be okay enough to get out at all. So far, she hadn't been. So far she'd been too starved and too enraged and too destroyed and now far too distraught for Iann to think about anything else but trying to attend to her. When he was allowed to, anyway. So when Bellamy asked 'what do I do?' Iann sighed, and rubbed his fingers on his brow. "I don't know. I just....I need some time to think. They won't un-restrain you unless they're sure you won't kill them. There's no way I can free you and you can't free yourself. They want me to convince you to join them, for their...I don't know. Some sort of fight to...save the world or something," Iann said with a sigh. "Or at least fight alongside them. I told them that they pretty much went about it the exact wrong way." Literally the completely wrong way. It wasn't as if Bellamy was averse to helping others, but Bellamy always did things her way: her ideas, her decisions on how to help others, her benevolence delivered in her way. She wasn't a vigilante seeking justice. She was a businesswoman who wanted to provide small credit loans to cottage industries. "I told Penny - just because you have this metuo sanguis, doesn't mean you want to use it to...fight evil across the country or whatever. That's never been your sort of calling." Iann sighed. "They're not bad, they're just stupid."

Leaning her head back she listened to him quietly. It didn't upset her he did not have a plan, she did not have a plan, and usually, when awful things happened they had far longer to formulate something. Anaxis had been in Ephram for weeks, the metuo sanguis had grown and taken hold of her over a month. They had only come to even realise the other was there mere hours ago, and that was a kind estimate based on her progressed healing. "So I need to stop screaming...," she rolled off, as he said they would not remove her restraints unless they believed her to be safe. Bella wasn't sure at this point what would convince them of that, what would make them believe that she was safe. Especially as she had said such...ferocious words to the one who had grabbed her and held her in the cage. "One doesn't rule out the other," she said from experience. Bellamy's ignorance had fed her awful behaviour, their ignorance was clearly feeding their own. "One thing is for sure, I can't do anything, whatever they've got me in is going to hold me," she said, looking down at the bars. "Perhaps we offer them a trade. They don't really need me, they've seen I'm not exactly a fighter, they just need to know how to use my blood." She didn't really like the idea, but she also knew a bit more about her blood than they did and while the black blood they had taken from her was still likely in the vial it had been collected in it would not remain that way for long. "I'll help them make a weapon that lasts until we're back in town, block those arseholes from breaching the barrier again. Unless...you think I should help them?" she asked, for clarity rather than judgement. He said they'd gone about this the wrong way, said it wasn't her, and he was right but so were they, if Iann told her to do this then, while she might protest, she probably would.

"That's the thing - they're all supernaturals, except for Penny, as far as I can tell. So the Soapberry barrier wouldn't block them - they're free to come and go as they please. Probably how they were able to learn so much about you...about us." Only Hunters and humans-not-in-the-know were blocked from entering Soapberry, although Iann had seen some loopholes. Fawn's denial for instance, and Grace being an ex-Hunter. Regardless, Penny's group were not blocked from the Soapberry barrier. Which meant even if Iann and Bellamy didescape, it wouldn't be difficult to come after Bellamy again. And again, and again. There had to be some way to convince them or trade, as Bellamy had suggested. "No - there's no way we're using your metuo sanguis as a weapon. That's - no..." Iann shook his head vehemently. "The only thing keeping that illness safe and sound is you and your willpower." Whatever they'd taken from her, Iann highly doubted they'd be able to do anything with it. It was simply too powerful, even for Penny's group. Bellamy was right as well about her restraints - after the threats she'd described in loving graphic detail, there was no way in hell they'd trust her. "Alright...alright. Just..." Iann sat back and thought for a few minutes, looking at Bellamy, then the CCTV, then the door, then back to Bellamy. He glanced at hte door again, knowing Penny was out there. "Bellamy..." Iann said suddenly, his eyes bright, an expression that could only mean that Iann was coming up with a plan - but it was hinging on Bellamy. So he had to ask. "Would you like to meet my ex-wife? You won't...cuss her out or anything, will you? I want...I want you two to meet." If Bellamy could talk to Penny - if Penny could see that Bellamy was just a little girl despite her vampirism and metuo sanguis - what if? Iann knew the Penny he knew was a kind soul underneath all of her bravado and machoness. She could kick a guy in the balls and then carefully collect a spider and take it outside. If she could take pity on Bellamy...maybe they had a chance.

The funny thing was, despite her aching self that wanted to be free a smile came upon her face at the suggestion of meeting his ex-wife. It easily pushed out the knowledge that they would come after them, it pushed out the note that Bella keeping her knowledge to herself was the best way for it to not fall into the wrong hands, and it pushed out the thought they had no freaking plan. "Of course not," she let out, eager as ever. In her mind she could focus on the wonderful part of this that meant, like going to Portland, she was seeing more of Iann. Focusing on that made everything seem easier - even when it was not. "Do you think it could help?" she asked, leaning forward in her chair, blonde hair draping around her wet face.

“Maybe..." Iann said, coming closer to Bellamy again and fussing with her hair and face, trying to get her to look more neat and tidied up. He was like a fusspot Aunt who wanted to keep up appearances. Iann leaned in closer to Bellamy. "If we can talk to her, maybe get her to help us...then we might have a chance, hm? Our only chance..." Iann added, giving Bellamy a look. "So be nice. She's very rough around the edges - just remember if she gets all insulty, that's just her way, hm?" Iann backed away from Bellamy, figuring she was as nice-looking as she ever was going to look, while strapped down and immobilized. Iann knocked on the door. "Penny? We're ready to talk now." After a couple minutes, the door slid open, and Penny came in, her handgun lowered but securely held in both hands as she slowly came in. Her eyes were pinned to Bellamy, taking in everything about her, wary that Bellamy and Iann were planning to attack her. They were planning something alright, but it wasn't any sort of physical attack.

With Bella's experience of having Miles meet Alina she was somewhat nervous, the playing with her appearance and the instance that this was their only chance to escape making her more so. Bella felt she was awful with first meeting people. It was easier when she didn't care, clearly she cared now. She needed to care now, to not think on how easy it would be to begin insulting the woman back were she to make comments about her. So when Iann left she took a few breaths, counting them as she had been taught by Bek, a simple and calming act. Only when Penny and Iann returned did she open her eyes, taking in the woman who held a gun in her hands. In the back of her head she knew she'd have usually rolled her eyes, Bellamy found guns, in the presence of supernaturals to be mostly for show, a way for a human to feel strong when they were weak. Instead she just sniffled, wriggling her nose a little and taking in the woman's scent, but mostly just getting the scent of the gunpower in her bullets that clearly had been affected by something to make them work on Bella. Nervous still she wriggled her shoulders against the back of the chair, appearing to pull away from her, eyes moving to Iann's with pursed and uncomfortable lips. She was...pretty but it was hard to focus on anything but her weapon.

Penny was wary. The first thing she did when she stepped into the room and assessed Bellamy, was glance up at the camera. It seemed in tact, which meant it was working and wasn't tampered with. Iann, she nudged ahead of her, not wanting him to be behind her. And then, she looked at the girl . Really looked at her, instead of from behind a mask or on the screen of some camera monitor. She watched as Iann went around to the girl and sat back on his stool and held the girl's hand. Penny looked down at the restraints, but they seemed to be holding her quite securely. The girl's looked normal - well, as normal as a strapped down girl could look, but sadly in her work and travels Penny had seen far, far worse. So she wasn't too phased, especially considering Bellamy was healing up so fast. "So what is this," Penny finally grunted, giving Iann a cursory glance. "You bring me in here and then she jumps me and...what? Rips my face off and feeds me my eyeballs and tears off my tits and eats me out?"

Iann sighed (a trait he was doing more often these days, a trait he'd picked up from Tuah) and he looked down at Bellamy, petting her hair down before returning his hand to hold hers. "She's restrained, even she can't break out of them. Whatever you guys have set-up here, it's really fucking fool-proof." Of course it was; this wasn't humans or even Hunters dealing with them. Where oversight was always a possibility when it came to supernatural restraint. This was supernaturals restraining other supernaturals, and being good at it. "She does need to feed on someone alive though. I'm not volunteering you--" Iann quickly added in a slightly annoyed tone (he couldn't help it. When Penny rolled her eyes like that, his reaction came instinctively, dredged from their past), "- god, I'm just saying. Bellamy - this - this is my ex-wife, Penny. And Penny, this is Bellamy, my, ahhh, my friend."

Penny nodded evenly at Bellamy. "I heard him," she said, talking directly to Bellamy now. "He calls you mija."

Bella wanted to point out that she also had cuffs made that vampires could not get out of, it wasn't hard to do that but Iann had said be nice and it wasn't like everything else in this place would have been easy to come by. If not for what she had shifted into, for them, she'd never have been able to crack the glass as she had. So instead she just, lace her fingers with his and watched as Iann immediately began to step on himself. Perhaps it was okay for him to be this way because being any other way would be false? When she was the one being spoken to Bellamy looked back into Penny's eyes and nodded, slowly before flicking them back to Iann and smiling. "Yeah, I mean, but he's not wrong...we're friends. It's just he looks out for me," Bellamy insisted. Even now he was looking out for her, surely he could have got himself out of there with Penny working there and left her behind if he wanted but as she knew she wouldn't leave him behind, she knew he would not leave her - well least not without a plan in place. "Did you know Iann when he was a teenager?" she asked, a little curve to the corner of her mouth, it didn't seem rude so she figured she could push here and there. Besides, if Iann wanted her to see a real girl wouldn't something so trivial be important to a real girl the way it was to Bella?

Of course Iann's relationship was much, much different to Penny than Bellamy's was to Penny. For one, Iann and Penny had a history of friendship, love, strife, estrangement. Maybe Bellamy didn't understand the context of how a history together tended to make people interact differently, to strangers meeting for the first time. Iann and Penny had familiarity, even after nearly 20 years apart. They had memories together. Their first impressions of each other were created when they were both teenagers. On the other hand, this was both Bellamy's and Penny's first impression of each other. Did it make sense therefore for Bellamy to talk as familiarly with Penny as Iann did? Not really. And as the two women began to talk, Iann watched Penny's face carefully, trying to read her microexpressions. She was doing a good job of that military-neutral-face, the one that looked dulled-out, semi-hostile, but nonetheless listening to what Bellamy had to say.

Penny looked doubtful. "Iann looks out for you," she repeated flatly, clearly not really believing it. She gave a bitter half-smile. "I'd ask if he was fucking you, but..." Penny glanced over at Iann. "I think we all know he's never been good at that sort of thing." It was hardly an insult, because Iann looked back at Penny and gave her a smile back, and a half-hearted shrug of 'well, can't argue with you there'. Satisfied, Penny looked back at Bellamy. Bellamy's question did throw Penny off, and she blinked rapidly, shifting from one foot to the other as the question brought back a lot of memories. Not the bad memories, either. "I - yeah. He was... we were best friends. Did he ever tell you that?" Penny asked, looking back at Iann for a brief moment. "I taught him a lot of shit, and man...he soaked it up like a sponge. Remember - I asked you if you had any friends before me, because you were like a fucking puppy."

Iann blinked, like the memory just popped into his own head and took him by surprise. "I remember. I said no. I wasn't going to lie. You were my first friend...first friend my age, I mean."

Penny nodded, but then frowned when she realized she was getting nostalgic. Like any typical human with a gun, she half-raised it, as if trying to reassert her control over this situation. "Stop smiling like that, it gives me the creeps," Penny said to Bellamy. "You look like one of those weird porcelain dolls in those horror movies. The ones that are always smiling, until they leap at you and tear your head from your neck." Penny rolled her shoulders, in that way people did when they were trying to work out some muscle kinks. "So Bellamy. What do you think about, you know. Joining up? Iann said you wouldn't but we all agree - your ability, the things you can do, it's amazing. Anton pushed you hard and...well, I'll apologize for him. We didn't realize that maybe you needed a..." She glanced at Iann, then back at Bellamy. "...a kinder and gentler touch. Your rap sheet made you out to be a real badass motherfucker, huh?"

The notion of him having sex with her made Bellamy pull her lips back, it wasn't like Iann was ugly but...no. No. "Maybe," Bellamy answered, probably too honestly for what they were attempting to accomplish. "I sort of wasn't a great person to be around when we first met. Most everything he told me up until about a year ago sort of...went over my head," she admitted, solemn in her tone. Bella did feel badly, she had wanted the two of them to care about one another but a lot of the time it was mostly just her wanting him to care and to merely say that she was. Things had certainly changed since then but still, it didn't mean she liked saying she'd treated him so badly.

Yet the two of them fell into conversation with one another and Bellamy mostly just watched. It was odd, to see Iann with anyone let alone someone from his past. In her mind when she was with Iann it was just them. Even instances where Tuah and his second wife had been around it was sort of peripheral to her, perhaps because Tuah was so shy and perhaps because his deceased ex had worked so very much. They just fell into this grove of speaking to one another that was understandable but definitely made Bella feel like she sort of needed to leave. If they'd been at a party together she would have backed away from the conversation, let them fall into their words with one another. As it was she obviously was not going anywhere and when attention was returned to her she just gave a half smile.

"Amazing is...," Bellamy wanted to say 'a fucked up way to describe it but instead looked down at her hands and let out a harsh breath. "Subjective." Not a lie. It was subjective, lots of people thought it was amazing but lots of people thought a lot of awful shit. Hearing the name of the person that had hurt her she decided against commenting since she still wanted to murder him, and would not let the chance go were it to come up. Honestly, she wasn't sure she'd be able to let it go even if they left this place. "I can't-I really can't. It isn't about wanting to or not wanting to even. What you would be asking of me would be to use that constantly. The edelweiss works because I don't use what I can, it works because I work at things, eventually that stuff doesn't work, there is too much of the black blood in me that removing as much as the edelweiss can isn't enough, then I'd be the bad guy and I-I-I don't want to be put down like I rabid dog. I reacted like that because I am done being put in cages by people who think what I am is their blessing, it's my curse and I'm ten times more than what that is. I just - I just haven't go there yet. I can't risk anyone else and I can't risk damning myself more by saying using it will help people, perhaps, for a moment, but that moment of help would not equal the damage I could end up doing. You saw a second of what I can be and three men lost themselves, one died and removing the edelweiss doesn't remove the memories. Iann can attest to that."

"Well shit," Penny breathed out finally, after listening to Bellamy's extraordinarily reasonable explanation. Penny released her gun from one hand as well, keeping it in the other and just letting it hang at her side. She turned from Bellamy and Iann and paced into the corner, smacking the on the safety on her weapon and she muttered to herself and sucked her teeth. She didn't holster it yet, but perhaps, Iann believed, that was for the sake of whomever was watching through the CCTV. "You were going to be our Hulk!" she said with a mirthless smile at Bellamy, as she rubbed at her eyes with her free hand. "Fuck. Fuck! So this was all just a huge fucking waste of time and resources, fucking fantastic," Penny ranted, in a way that was all too familiar with the way that Iann could sometimes rant. Like she had anger in her, but it wasn't directed at any one person in particular, and like she just needed to get it out. "I told Anton this was a mistake. And when I saw you -" She motioned with her chin towards Iann, "I knew it was an even bigger mistake. Honestly I was kind of hoping you'd sell her to us..." she snorted at Iann, but then just shook her head, massaging her brow with her fingers. "Something....something big is coming is all. Something big and fucked up and we were on some desperate goal to save the world..." She gave Iann a glare of 'don't you start', because she knew Iann hated her sense of heroism and sacrifice. It drove Iann nuts, her sense of righteousness. "Anyway. It doesn't matter now. If you can't come with us, then we - we should keep moving, maybe find someone else to be our Hulk. You're special, but there are lots of special people in the world huh?" Penny said to Bellamy. She took a step closer, back to the CCTV camera and also blocking Bellamy's face from the CCTV as well. "I promised Iann I'd help you guys go back to Soapberry, but the others won't be as convinced as me. The group's split, between Anton's way and my way. So...hold tight. You're both gonna get put back into the glass cage - I'll convince 'em to get you in a cage together, and then tonight I'll...I'll come get your guys. Don't do anything stupid before that." Penny looked at Iann and then back at Bellamy. "Make sure Papa here doesn't do anything stupid."

Iann shut his eyes for a moment, then opened them to look down at Bellamy. He held Bellamy's hand, hoping that the little vampire could trust Penny. Did Iann trust Penny? He wasn't even sure at this point; but he really wanted to. Because so far, their options were slim to nil of getting out of here alive.

"Hulk is one of the better Avengers," she conceded though she was not one for superhero movies and only knew the names of like three of the members of the team. Yet she silenced as the woman before her began to rant, it didn't mean anything to Bella who did not understand guns that the woman had switched to holding it in her opposing hand and so she still felt unsettled, wondering perhaps if the woman would shoot her because she was surely of no use. Big picture killing one person never tended to matter to corporate types of collectives. Hell, didn't like hundreds of people die in those Avenger movies just for being bystanders? Besides, she didn't like the implication Iann would or could sell her and immediately had to resist the urge to tell her off, even if it wasn't a dig at Iann's home life like it sounded it was certainly implying that people could be bought and sold. Ideas Valentin had.

In the end Bellamy did not trust the woman. She didn't really like her particularly either. The way she spoke felt like the way a lot of old vampires spoke around Bella, like their big ideas were far more important than little ideas and little actions. Bellamy was not the type of person who thought what someone did only mattered if it was large scale, little things helped and history showed that. Acting like this was some Hollywood blockbuster only made her seem very stunted to Bellamy - hypocritical really. "Okay," she said simply, squeezing Iann's hand and looking at him hopefully. Once they were far enough away from the building Bellamy knew Iann would know enough to hide them, so she just needed hope to get out of the building, everything beyond that he could hide them from and she could protect them from. Yes, yes, if they made it that far they'd be fine.

Penny didn't look like she trusted either of them very much either, but there was little choice she had on her side. She gave Iann a look once more, and then with a curt nod, Penny left. After about fifteen minutes, five other soldiers came into the room. One removed Iann first and then four of them took Bellamy, keeping her restrained. They threw her into the glass cage where Iann was already sitting. It was the cage Iann was in; the bruiser who Bellamy had killed was still laying dead and bloodied in her cage.

Once the solderis removed Bellamy's restraints, they left and Iann came over to Bellamy. "Are you okay?"

Bella didn't resist those who had grabbed her, even though she didn't like being held that way. It made her smile that she had four men holding her while Iann only had one, surely he warranted at least two. Still she walked steadily, only flinching when she was literally throw into Iann's glass cage. Perhaps Penny had been able to convince them that putting her in where she had been would be bad because of the body. "You're ex is...not like you," she answered because actually thinking about whether or not she was okay would fucking suck.

Putting his arm around Bellamy, he smiled and cuddled her close to him. They probably had a few hours (they took away Iann's watch so he had no concept of time down here) so for now all Iann figured they could do was sit around and wait. "Oh yeah? You mean because she's a fighter and I'm not?"

Bella curled up into him easily, cuffs between her hands that she did not completely understand. If she shifted she could remove them after all. She smirked a little, she considered Iann a fighter, when necessary anyway which was the only reasonable sort of time to fight for most humans. "No, because she's talking about these big picture impersonal things. I know you say you're impersonal, least you did about getting close to the people hiring you for your services, but they're personal to someone, the person you're helping." Her cuffed hands rested on his lap and her knees curled. "I mean, it was sort of clear in how they did everything, I don't mean the kidnapping but the information. They knew all this detailed stuff about what I am but in working out our connection they thought you could convince me, they thought I called you something I don't, it's like all that personal stuff was...irrelevant."

"Penny was always a 'change the world' kinda person," Iann said. He didn't really consider it bad, he didn't think in such black and white as Bellamy did. Just because he did things one way and Penny did things another way didn't make either of them right, or wrong. They just were. And they were also incompatible, at least as husband and wife. "I guess both my wives were, come to think of it. Grand ideas and grand ideals...." Iann shook his head. "God...I wish I had a chance to talk to her more. Find out what she saw when she went overseas. She was in the army, hm? Marines....something like that. Something that took her to Afghanistan and Iraq and into Central America too, apparently." Penny had told Iann all this while she was showing him around the facilities.

Bella didn't think it was wrong, it just seem...hurtful on a smaller scale and she just didn't like it. It wasn't Bella and so it wasn't something she could really understand as casually as Iann could. Honestly Bella had never got that picture of his deceased wife, in fact Bellamy had seen her as someone on an even smaller scale than Iann. To Bella she appeared content to run a store, and live above it with him, helping anyone that might need it. Perhaps grand ideals but not grand ideas, still Bellamy had never come to know her that well. It was difficult and she had found the woman to be a very private person, at least with her. "Perhaps, if things go as planned, you can find a way to speak with her," she reasoned of Penny, not going to argue with him about her perceptions of his ex, especially since they were clouded by her mentality at the time she knew her. "Why did you two break up?" she asked. "And not stay in contact?"

Just because Iann could see more than one viewpoint, didn't mean he wouldn't criticize it. In his opinion, the only way he could criticize anything was to understand it first. And he welcomed his methodologies being critiqued as well. But Penny and him clashed because they'd known each other so well, that they ended up knowing how to push each other's buttons just like that and get under each other's skin. "We - ah - we didn't see eye to eye. And the more I got obsessed with supernatural and occult stuff, the more I...well. I ignored her. I sold her stuff for money to buy things I thought were valuable, I couldn't hold a job or pay our rent. I wasn't very good at keeping house either," Iann said with a rueful smile. "She was trying to balance work, school, and a 'lazy' husband. I was angry at her for not believing me and understanding how important my research was. That it meant more than all that stupid boring normal shit like 9-5 jobs and washing dishes. The more she wanted me to spend time with her and talk with her and go out and do all the fun stuff we used to do, the more I pushed her away because it all just...god it had seemed so pointless. I was on the verge of realizing werewolves and vampires and witches were real. Who had time to watch late night TV with your wife?" Iann lay his head back against the wall. "She wanted to know more about my family. I never told her about the brothel, hm? I was too ashamed of...of my Ma. I thought Penny would judge them. And her family haaaaated me, I was such a fucking deadbeat who cared more about fairy tales then about their precious little mija."

Things like this Bellamy could understand a bit more fully. Relationships were vastly complex as she had come to feel. There was no part of her that imagined one particular party was at fault for them no longer being in a relationship. Besides, she felt when it came to such things she could easily support a friend with acknowledging that they were not the only person scorned in such an instance. Iann did not sound a particularly good husband from the way he described things but she also imagined that he was purposefully putting a lot of the blame onto himself. "You certainly sound a lot younger than you are now," she said because that was mostly what she was getting from Iann. Bits and pieces of him that were not as they were now. He had his business with Freddie, he half-watched her ridiculous reality television shows and vampire movies while he did his own work, he had told her about his mother and her business a long time ago. He might have been untraditional in the way he lived his life but she did not ever see him as a deadbeat. "It's not shocking to think they would think that way," Bellamy said of her family. "And it's not surprising you're divorced but perhaps she would enjoy at least knowing who you are now. To think that perhaps leaving one another had made you each better. I like to imagine Isaiah is happier now than when we each expected such different things of one another. Besides, perhaps she'll have some interesting things for you to find out about, if I'm not the only special person they have then there must be a dozens of interesting sub-species," she reasoned, rubbing her head on his chest.

"I was a lot younger," Iann said with a smile. "It was almost twenty years ago, hm? You? You would've been...jesus. You would've been four, five years old? Think how much you've changed in the little time that I've met you. Of course things were a lot different then. I was an asshole, for one. I never - I never hurt her, not physically, but. I know I said some pretty terrible things." Penny said terrible things back to him of course, but Iann could excuse that now that he was older. Back then, he'd felt sorry for himself, felt that Penny had mistreated him and bullied him and didn't care about him. It took a long time for Iann to realize where he'd gone wrong, even if he wasn't sure he could forgive Penny. Or if there was even anything to forgive. It was the same as his mother - things had been so complicated between them, and Iann's worst time happened around the time that Iann had met Penny. Penny was innocent to it all, but Iann had used her as a weapon to push back and isolate himself from Mala and the brothel, he used Penny's bright, happy, wonderful normalness against the dysfunction of his mother. And then, when he got married, he turned on Penny and blamed her for being so fucking boring and normal. How could he explain any of this to Bellamy? He tried, telling her as much as he could. "I don't think she really needs to care about how I am now. I don't want to show her anything, she - after everything I did and didn't do, I doubt the last thing Penny should give a damn about, is what a great, stand-up guy I am. The damage has already been done, mija. No one likes knowing they were the stepping stone who had to put up with my awful shit, to my personal growth. That wasn't her job, to improve me."

"Four," Bella answered. It was odd to imagine that. Imagine Iann was so much her senior. He really could pass for her father, perhaps not based on their appearance but if based on age alone. It would not be so completely easy to understand exactly what Iann felt and what Iann perceived. "It's not really about that though," she continued to reason. "It's not about thinking she was some kind of personal growth for you, I'm saying personally if one of my exes came into my life again I'd like to know the choices I had made hadn't only benefitted myself, that person mattered to me, them being happy matters to me. If you want to talk to her I just don't see why you shouldn't at least give her the option because there is every chance she wants to, for her own reasons, she loved you, at the very least."

Iann was quiet for a long time, and then eventually he just curled his hand around Bellamy's head and kissed her forehead. It wasn't like he just wanted to dismiss what Bellamy said to him, but Iann just didn't know how to respond. He was slow when it came to emotional things, especially things that had been this deeply locked away, and now the doors were burst open. So he had nothing to say but he didn't know how to say it. "Thank you, Belle," Iann said instead, hoping she'd understand that he'd listened he just needing time (time that he didn't have).

Bella rested against him, allowing him to merely take in her words and think on them if he decided. Pushing him to speak on things now was no longer her first way of getting to know him where it had once been an easy go to. "You could sleep, if you like," she told him, wondering if he had done much of it over the past few days. Bellamy hadn't but she didn't need to sleep, she slept out of habit and out of comfort. If they were to escape this place, especially running beyond where Penny could assist them then he'd need to rest. "I'll wake you if anything happens or when Penny arrives," she whispered.

When Bellamy suggested sleep, Iann didn't realize how sleep deprived he was until he heard her ask. He nodded and curled against her and closed his eyes - and true to Iann, the moment he did, he fell fast asleep. And snored rather loudly against Bellamy's neck.

It did not bother Bellamy that he snored, in a way it was a comfort. It meant that he was alive and there with her. Not exactly the most comforting, she would have preferred for him that he be home, but for her having him there helped her stay calm. Even if she had not behaved as easily as she did back home she decided it was not a total fuck up on her part, she hadn't hurt him, she hadn't killed anyone that wasn't trying to kill her and she remained in control of her own mind.

Unsure of how long it had been, time never passing for Bellamy at the same speed in her head, when she heard the door open, she shook Iann quickly, keeping her golden eyes on the door to see who had come in.

It was hours later when the power went out, and the emergency lights blinked on, bright and green and flickering. Almost immediately, Penny came into the room, followed by five other black-op members. She looked grim and baleful at Bellamy and Iann, but opened the glass door and reached out for Bellamy so she could undo the vampire's restraints. "I'll take you as far as the exit but from there you're on your own," she stated matter-of-factly as her friends guarded the entrance. "We're in Ohio, out in the middle of nowhere but there's a gas station two miles from here. I'm sure you'll know how to find your way home from there," Penny said to Iann, implying that it could steal a car. "C'mon, follow me."

#gun tw #violence tw #blood tw #ianncardero #chatzy #chatzy: iann #iann and bella will have a travelling back chatzy #but i'll be posting an open text starter tomorrow probably to announce she is back

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imissyoulilgucciv · 7 years ago

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So this has become more of a journal/grief thing which is interesting because I’ve also had a blogger but set to private since like 13 so thats intense and I have thousands of compulsive letters to no one, but my head just doesn’t seem to sort itself out, unless I can actually slow down enough, like right here.

Today,

Woke up 2 hours earlier than usual so I could have 1.5 hours more to instal my art, the word art makes me uncomfortable which is funny to me, so I went to install my thing but there was an accident so instead I got there with 30 mins, I got most of it done but not all, didn’t matter it was an inprogress crit and I could enough up to see. I always have so much in my head and I also used text this time which I thought was also funny because when talked about they called it poetry and I just didn’t even look at it like that

I feel like this is the first project I didn’t stress over at all, but also had a lot of time to do it and no pressure from the teacher with harsh deadlines or anything so that was part of it, the other part is being in such a place of discomfort and shock that I have to be slow and I don’t have it in me to add any more chaos to the grief I’m feeling. So for me that is actually one benefit of this, its just saying fuck it to a lot of things, but in good ways.

my teacher cried during my crit which made me feel just great, and then I didn’t get a parking ticket but I should have, so I was excited and left but then went back to remove my shit and photo and then I went to get my car and bring it closer for the camera (long story) but I drove my car back in a slightly different spot and then still got a ticket because the chalk was still on my wheels even though I was gone for at least an hour and a half. but whatever theres like 4 hours worth of “work”, not my biggest worries though.

Then I busted my phone, my thoughts were oh well now I have an excuse for not wanting to respond to this persons text about hanging out.

so i go get my old phone to see if I should still use that one, and ofcorse doing this leads me to 1 years worth of messages with gus. The struggle is real, I can’t even cry because this is so overwhelming, I knew it was always hard, and I was different this time around because I Was pushing back, but like you just see the back and forward nature and gus is like “im done” this is too much for me and then the next day or same day its like hopeful for the future we have and even one that was a super cute photo of like flower people (to me it was super sexual but he didn’tn notice this until I pointed it out then we joked about being watered) but he said he wouldn’t worry any more and that he was sure no matter where we ended up we’d do something good or something like that, something that could make a small difference or whatever and that is heartbreaking, then you know the next day all over again fast and furious and I imagine how exhausting that was for gus, it’s overwhelming and I Feel in my state of greif I can understand BUT from the point of view that I have a reason to feel these ways which is much easier than to have a seemingly perfect life, beautiful face, no visible problems and people think stop whining or whatever and you feel crazy as shit because nothing feels right but nothing is wrong except you. Thats not a good feeling. Thats the invisible wheel chair. I just wish I had done so many different things, and said so many different things, I started joining in on the upset because I Wasn’t going to do that this time, I was being hurt to so lots of fuck you’s and I love yous and its fucking nuts, its all nuts, and this was the last time... I had no idea what I was in for. I could have done better but I was too involved, and also blinded by optimism. you don’t know whats in someones head and I forgot while gus was honest, he also had a way of only discolosing certain info, I thought he didn’t do that with me but in reality I can see now he did, just like he picked and chose what to tell his therapist about me, so that my image was protected. Gus was odd in that way, to protect my image because of how he felt, and its not that he was protecting his image to me, but I know he did want us to work out and he was giving me his best sides, and I loved those sides, and to think I got all the good, and yet still by the day, maybe week, maybe once a month you name it we would have really confusing fights where he would insit on withdrawing and I should have let him, I should have understood it was TOO much like he said I mean I thought I felt it was too much too, but like then it comes down to the I dont want to live without you

and he realizes he can’t live with me

and he doesn’t want to keep hurting me or his mom, and he realizes he could actually really hurt either one of us when he’s not making any sense

and its exhausting back and forth, one week feels like a fucking month, and I think his whole teen/adult life was like that, it was super condensed and super fast. He did travel, he did live in a commune for a period, dual citizenship, went through a good amount of personality growth and interests, and the last being one that I respect a lot, permaculture, and then the things that stayed the same with him like the inside jokes and the laughing, his clenliness and interest in some rap with the perfect lyrics and same taste in music, so loving, so embracing.

I can’t read these and think its over, I still open the door to his room when I get home and I think Hey Gus I’m back!! and I want to tackle him and give him all the hugs and kisses. The thing is we never had that though, I mean I never came home here, this was never my home, always a place I felt welcome but I didn’t live here, and I didn’t come here like every day nor usually when I was done with school, there would be times wher eI’d come but he would greet me at the front door, so this coming into the room and him being there is a fantasy I’ve created, Its the one where I think god like why couldn’t this be how it was, why couldn’t we have been this ideal happy family.. why did you have to leave, and why did I go so hard on you, and I know it wasn’ my choice but I really I’m so stubborn I can’t get over it I can’t forgive myself, I can’t thin it couldn’t have been different because it could have, and it wasn’t and I was part of that circle. I failed in ways I wasn’t aware of but I still feel accountable.

So now to complete my overwhelming day,

to see the medium perform ! Gus I hope you come, Ive been talking outloud to him, it comforts me, I think now Im going to be crazy lady , the one that doesn’t talk to cats but talks to the deceased bf.

Its a disaster. I can’t be the same. I feel so wrong, but also free in all my wrongness because I can say piss off, I’m still working on my piss of people pleasing skills because it just happens, I get nervous, then adrenaline that allows me to perform instead of being myself, or how I Feel. instead I can only use words and when my expression doesn’t match people don’t take me seriously, how can I blame them ?

I just miss you,

I have a bracelet from the women in my group, she said she thought of me, that means so much to me, it says “my story isn’t over yet” super cliche but the intention and the person behind it just makes me cry because we share the worst thing imaginable. Blessed. although I’m not sure how to ever wear it because its a set size metal bangle type which never fit my wrists.

I feel pretty nuts when I write like this, but I’d rather be here than having real friends and feeling like im going to have a melt down. I can’t cry right now even after reading those texts, I don’t know how I feel. I’m confused and upset but its numbing today.

I do think gus was Bipolar which was what he said the first time around, he had actually been diagnosed, but that fell through, which I partically wonder if that was my influence on him and unfortunately I think between me and drug counceling he was oppossed to understanding the benefit of medication/or even necessity, and also the benefits of being diagnosed so proper treatment can at least be attempted, even though, unfortunately, the books just don’t always work. Like the book of parenting, or relationships because I Was all wrong, and I have to think from the side of being with someone mentally ill, while I knwo I can’t be treated like crap, most of the time gus wasn’t treating me poorly other than making me hurt by the break ups and while I knew sometimes it was him being withdrawn and worried about how I felt, or being paranoid and we’d be okay sometimes it wasn’t that easy and my emotions would also take over so I’d believe him entirely and I’d be very hurt because it would always be very sudden. if only wed gotten help sooner, but I think again this time he was actually doing everything by the “book” all at once, he was invested in his interests, he was working out, he had a routine, a loving girlfriend, he was sober, seeking help..

and then he looses his shit with me and we think okay moving therapy up

then he looses his shit with his mom

then he’s gone

it doesn’t feel good when you’re doing all the “right” things, thats why I said he wasn’t patient, you expect results, tired of hurting people and tired of feeling hurt, overwhelmed and the fucking pyshcotic voices convincing you of things that make no sense and go against what is actually true, the ones that tell you we’d be better off without you. the ones that told you I was lying or only using you, or whatever

IT wasn’t fair for you or us, and this is the price for all of it. We’d do anything to have you back. I still would have rather been taken out first, but that isn’t what happened. I need your mom to have something from you, I have my dreams but she is sinking and needs to hear something, what is “real” doesn’t matter because to me, whats there is real, just like your delusions, they were real.

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bewitchedbunny · 8 years ago

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I'm curious why did you add the "get rid of yuri on ice" to my post? I don't care if you don't like it but if you don't like it just ignore the post or keep scrolling?

Because I’m so fucking tired of seeing this hellbent anime everywhere. When this anime started, I had to deal with lots of shit. And when it ended, I STILL had to deal with lots of shit.

Firstly, the anime itself it’s shitty. Its writing and pacing are terribad. It’s filled to the brim with shoujo clichés (Plain Girl™ meets Casanova Playboy™ and there’s love at first sight between them), and cringy fanservice (Christophe Giaccometti busting a nut while ice-skating twice and Katsuki drunkly dancing and stripping at a semi-formal party) and queerbait every goddamn week (the kiss, the rings, the pair ice-skating in the end…), the side-characters are ridiculed (Phichit), hated on (Sara and JJ) and babied (Plietsky), not to mention NEGLECTED so Vik and Katsu can shine on the spotlight! Oh, and Kubo-sensei spent FOUR years to write this plot, so there’s NO excuse for an anime to be this horrible.

Also the ANIMATION… I can’t stress about this enough!! It was good for, like, two episodes, and later became so half-assed and mediocre! And all of the well-animated series were spent on Viktuuri, which it shows how much of a scam Yuri!!! On Ice is!

Speaking of Viktuuri, that’s the scourge of the anime. And before you call me homophobic, NO. I don’t hate it because Vik and Katsu are together, I hate it because of how the characters are portrayed and written. The couple’s dynamic is all based on constant co-dependency and self-gratification, and like I said before, it’s filled to the brim with shoujo clichés. Their relationship is like that goddamned mainstream reality show/soap opera that everyone else is talking about! I hear people say how cute they look together, and I almost PUKE at the sound of the couple’s name. I bet on my whole fortune, that if Katsuki was a woman instead, no one would be praising this anime constantly!

And the fandom… oh my fucking God, THE FANDOM. It’s the most cancerous, demented and insanely toxic fandom I’ve ever seen! It’s more annoying than the Hetalia and Steven Universe fandoms COMBINED!

To clarify the situation, I’ll list some of the things this fandom has done:

⚪Were openly acephobic/biphobic (GOD FORBID if I ever headcanon Katsuki as ace/bi/demi/whatever!)

⚪Hijacked social networks of famous ice-skaters and sent messages to them to ditch their wives to find a man

⚪Told Levi Ackerman to “fuck off”, just because he had the misfortune of sharing the same birthday date as Viktor Nikforov (the date is December 25th, btw)

⚪Talked shit about other sports animes and deemed them as “queerbait” (Free! and Haikyuu!! were the biggest victims), and kept butting in on random posts THAT WEREN’T ABOUT YOI

⚪Made Tumblr’s servers go out of order after its twelth episode

⚪Hogged all of the awards on Crunchyroll’s Anime Award, EVEN THE BEST ANIMATION ONE (Mob Psycho 100 should’ve won that one. Mob deserves better.)

⚪…and I’m only being generous here! There are lots of other stuff that they’ve done!

You see it now? You see why I suffer? I’m so fucking tired of seeing YOI everywhere, even when the anime has ended.

I’m so tired of pre-teen girls who still reek of placenta screaming “REVOLUTIONARY”, “GROUNDBREAKING”, “BORN TO MAKE HISTORY” and “YOI SAVED 2016” at every corner.

I’m so tired of seeing The Prince of Tennis/Tennis no Ouji-sama being erased and ignored, when in reality they were indeed the first one to have a canonical gay couple(around since 1999. Baka Pair. 2009 OVA. You’re welcome).

I’m so tired of seeing my favourite sports animes being constantly trashed by their fandom.

No matter how many blogs I unfollow/block/blacklist, no matter how much I try to ignore it, its content is always there to grind my gears.

Yuri!!! On Ice is the biggest internet cancer since the Hetalia Fandom and SuperWhoLock!

The anime is NOT even that good, the fandom does all that Fuck Shit™… AND I’m the asshole?! I’m the villain?! I’m the one who should be punished, just because I hate this anime?!

There’s a thing you should know: Just because it’s popular and trending doesn’t mean it’s good (have you ever seen Homestuck?)

And do me a favor, and go watch Doukyuusei, No.6 and Samurai Flamenco; they have mlm couples and they came BEFORE Yuri!!! On Ice. And they didn’t had to resort for cringy fanservice and queerbait.

“Born to Make History”, my ass. This anime was born to be a FUCKING NUISANCE.

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josephpauldigitalagency · 6 years ago

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7 SEO Myths Busted

SEO has become more difficult than it was in the past. Yes, Google is getting smarter every day making it harder for blackhat SEO tricks to work.

As someone who makes their living through SEO, I think this is just a part of the evolution of search engines. The real culprit of your search engine woes is the SEO myths that are either no longer or never true.

Imagine you’re going on a road trip and you unknowingly picked up an outdated or outright wrong map to help you navigate.

When you didn’t get to the destination you were anticipating, would you blame the map or the car? Any sane person would blame the map because the car only goes where you tell it to go.

Well, the same holds true for SEO. Your beliefs and knowledge about search engine optimization is your map and your SEO work (your website) is the vehicle.

In this article, we are going to bust seven of the biggest myths that relate to SEO so that you have a clear map to success with no detours.

1. SEO Is Magic or B.S.

If you start asking around what an SEO is then you’re going to hears one of three things: “they’re scammers”, “they’re people who know how to manipulate Google”, or “what’s an SEO”.

We are going to ignore the people who fall into that third category and focus on the first two responses. We have to address them separately even though they may seem one and the same.

Let’s talk “scammers,” it’s a shame that although I’m calling this a myth there is a little truth to this but it’s no different to any other profession who has a low barrier of entry.

Here’s why anyone can claim expertise:

Google never publishes it’s algorithms to the public and that means you can’t really test someone’s knowledge accurately against it like you could a mechanic against a manufacturer’s manual.

Another reason we can’t test against Google’s algorithm either is it changes every day. It’s likely changed while writing this article.

So if something is always changing and isn’t published, how can anyone certify themselves or anyone else in it? It’s not possible unless Google is doing the certifying.

When you can’t certify SEO’s then you can get some scheisters who shouldn’t be trusted who will offer snake oil or black magic hat SEO.

At the end of the day, an SEO is no different than an investment banker. You’re going to want to trust the investment banker who’s done the groundwork and seen some things.

Who would you trust more, the investment banker who navigated the tech bubble and housing crisis or someone who navigated through Nutella shortage scare of 2017 and didn’t give any indicators they studied pivotal economic events.

Of course, you’re going to pick the banker who navigated the experience and learned from it over the person who makes no mention of it. Same goes for SEOs, they should be knowledgeable about Google’s major updates and how to have your site comply with them.

In reality, SEO is a process of increasing targeted search traffic by making your website comply with Google’s expectations with search queries.

It’s actually not hard to learn the basics of SEO and content marketing or have an employee in your company learn it to beat out your cross-town rival.

If I were to create a myth 1.5 then I would say it would be you have to be an expert to get your website ranking on Google.

A lot of businesses are in areas where their competition is like a toddler trying to pour milk into a cup, it’s messy and it’s going to need a cleanup. Learning the basics will put you way ahead of your competition

Now, if your SEO doesn’t tell you exactly how they help improve your site’s visibility in search results then you need to run away as fast as you can.

Your “expert” isn’t really one or they’re practicing some shady blackhat methods of SEO that will hurt your website.

A trustworthy SEO will give you a plan of action and will be transparent about everything they do. Next time you get an ambiguous excuse for a lack of results because of Google’s algorithms you know that it’s a myth they’re feeding.

2. It’s All About Keywords

It’s all about your keywords is what you hear when talking SEO with people who don’t fully don’t understand SEO.

There is a lot of buzz around keywords that simply lead you in the wrong direction because it’s either outdated or misguided well-intentioned advice.

You’ve likely heard someone mention keyword density claiming that you need to put your desired keyword on your site so many times so that it’s some percentage of the content.

Imagine someone trying to show you they’re knowledgeable on a topic by constantly repeating a word like they’re trying to summon Beetlejuice.

You’d think that person is nuts. Well, Google and your website visitors are thinking the same thing.

Keyword density used to be a tactic that worked and you could tell it did because a common practice was to repeat your keywords in white text on a white background so that your visitor wouldn’t see it but Google’s crawlers would.

Google since figured out what people were doing and did away with it as part of their algorithm.

You’ll also hear “keyword research is the most important part of SEO.” Although well-intentioned, it’s somewhat true and could use some updating.

To be honest, I hate hearing this because to me it doesn’t make sense.

Think of the last time you did a teeth cleaning, built a deck, or whatever service you offer, were you doing that for a keyword or a person?

You might think that’s a dumb question and the answer is obvious but all over the web businesses are optimizing for keywords and not people.

I want you to take an oath to replace the phrase “keyword research” with “searcher intent” or “customer research”.

Your results are going to go through the roof because if you make this shift in thinking your website’s relevance to your visitors’ expectations will improve a lot.

When your relevance increases then the number of shares your site will get increases and your bounce rate reduces which will increase your rankings.

3. You Need to Submit Your Site

I’m sure you can relate to getting a poorly crafted email along the lines of “we submit your website to search engines to help you Google for low low price!”

I’m here to tell you that that is a load of shi crap. Do you really think Google can’t find your site unless you submit it to them?

To put things in perspective, Google is in the autonomous vehicle race so I think it’s safe to say that Google is crawling your site and has no problem finding it.

Don’t believe me? Then do this, go to Google and type in the following without the quotations “site:yourURLhere.com”. You’re going to see your site come up as the only result on the page.

If you’re not showing up you’re either a brand new website or you’ve been penalized because you let a hack job manage the SEO of your website.

Although I can’t give you advice on how to fix the shotty work without doing a deep dive, I can help if you’re a brand new website then I can show you how to get indexed quicker.

Just to be clear submitting your site can help new websites but it’s necessary because like Liam Neeson, Google will find you and index you.

Here’s how you get started submitting your site’s URL to Google:

Go to the Google Webmaster Homepage and sign in

Click the “start now” button and either sign in with your Google account or create one

Add your website’s URL and be sure to include https:// (you’re using SSL right?)

From there Google wants you to prove that you own the site by giving you various methods. The simplest way to do it would be to do it through the domain name provider

Once you’re in the dashboard click on Crawl and “Fetch As Google”

Click request index

Finally prove you’re human, select crawl URL and it’s direct links, and go

Now you’ve given Google the headstart on letting them know your site exists. While you’re here you should submit your sitemap to help Google navigate your site.

4. You Need To Keep Updating Your Site So It’s “Fresh”

Unless you’re a news website or informational website the odds are you don’t need to worry about updating your website frequently.

Odds are you’re a small business who offers services or products. With that said the information surrounding your product or service doesn’t change much.

A more productive (and cost-effective) way to think of this is you need to make keep your website’s content accurate.

That could mean if you write about industry standards you need to ensure it’s accurate and updated when standards change. It also means if your phone number or address changes you need to update your site and other local SEO factors.

Another part of this myth is the belief that you need to change the elements of your site to signal to Google your keeping your site up to date.

This is not only wrong but it could actually hurt your site rankings and conversions. You should never change elements of your site because you “feel like” you have to.

Should only do this is with a clear goal in mind. The most common goal is to improve conversions. The best way to do that is to split test a page and seeing what the results lead to.

5. Traffic is The Only Metric You Need To Worry About

Throw a rock and you’ll hit an SEO who promises to increase your traffic which is great because you want to have more eyes on your business.

The assumption is more traffic means you’ll have more customers and we can all agree more customers is better than fewer customers.

Although the logic seems sound it doesn’t tell the whole story when it comes to successful SEO work. What you should be focusing on is not only getting more traffic but getting more of the right traffic.

Let’s say you have two businesses, business A is doing $1,000,000 in revenue and business B is doing $100,000 in revenue.

Business A is making 1% profit and business B is making 10% profit. Which company would you rather own?

You would want to be business B because you’re making the same amount of money while having to make less revenue.

Your website is no different than a business. If you’re getting a ton of traffic but your conversion rate is low then you’re either not creating great content or you’re attracting the wrong people.

There are three main areas you might need to look at: your customer research, assess your converting elements, and lastly your user experience.

Best way to know what to attack first is by making sure you’re looking at the right metrics.

Once you start to track the right metrics you can determine which one of the three buckets is the culprit.

6. It’s All About The Rankings

We’ve all heard the shady sales pitch, “we guarantee #1 spot in Google searches!”

Great, but what are you going to rank for exactly? Do you care to be the number one result when someone searches “how to ride a unicycle” when you own a hair salon?

Unless you’re a circus Salon, you’re probably don’t care to rank for that search. So ranking high alone has zero value on its own.

You want to rank for terms relevant to your business and helpful towards the searchers intent (see myth 2). When you’re helpful and providing rock solid info, your site is going to be shared by the people who discovered you and share it with others who have the same interests.

Now that you’ve tailored your site to your searcher’s intent and start to rank, you notice no one is clicking your listing.

It doesn’t matter if you’re in the number one spot if no one is clicking your listing.

Your next move is to focus on your meta description. Your meta description is the snippet of text under your listing which searchers use to decide if they are going to visit your site or not.

With a great meta description, you can get more traffic the sites who rank higher than you because your listing signals to searchers that you have what they want.

The best ranking isn’t the number one any more… it’s ranking zero aka having Google show a snippet of your content.

This will make you standout relative to all the other listings and if you’re not the number one result, no problem you’re showing more predominantly than any result for that query.

Neil Patel does a great job of explaining snippets and how to get them.

7. You Can Optimize For RankBrain

RankBrain is Google’s branding for artificial intelligence it uses to help it learn more about content and how to present rankings for better user experience.

If you want more than my completely watered down explanation of RankBrain then head over to Backlinko where Brian Dean does a hell of a job describing it.

The reason you can’t optimize for this is that Google is using machine learning to determine the intent (there’s that word again) of the searcher and then picking the sites that match it the best.

This is why when you search “where to get an Apple” vs. “where to get apples” Google understands the first search is likely someone looking to get a piece of tech and the second search is for a fruit.

It’s why I put emphasis on optimizing for intent and not keywords. Google has gone from looking for keywords in your search to understanding what you’re trying to accomplish.

At the core of every Google algorithm change and innovation is to improve the user experience.

That means there is no clear way to optimize for RankBrain but if keep your user’s intent and experience at the center of your strategy like Google then you’re sure to improve relevant traffic and leads.

Conclusion:

Misinformation can lower confidence, harm, and hurt your businesses ability to compete on the internet.

I encourage you to take a look at the information you read today and compare them against your SEO strategy. Find which myths you were operating on and assessing how you can fix them.

Some of the fixes will be easy and others will take a little longer but I promise you will not be disappointed with the results after you put in the work.

Are there any myths I missed or have questions about? Share them in the comments to start the discussion.

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