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aviocs · 5 months ago

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What would Asya, Abaddon and one character of your choice wear to Pride?

IM GLAD YOU ASKED i know it's july. but it's always time 4 pride

asya:

asya is a performer and i can see her doing some singing at a pride event! and if she's performing, she's dressing up. for the outfit itself, gotta have a few bits of the classic rainbow, but mostly she's got a lesbian flag theme going on in a coordinated outfit. spends months before the event getting the perfect pieces in the right colors. might've even gotten the bustle shorts custom made.

if she was just attending pride without getting on stage she'd probably dress more like she normally does, tie some flannel around her waist and put on some pins or other accessories.

abaddon:

thinking of her in gta au for this which implies los santos has a pride event, which i can get behind lol

abaddon's got a much more casual look! spent an afternoon finding some rainbow pieces and called it a day. for someone who primarily wears red and black it's more colorful than her usual looks and she'd enjoy that for a day. she's also someone more likely to just throw on a couple rainbows vs looking to coordinate stuff/get pins in her more specific flags (trans, nonbinary, bi, demisexual, demiromantic) because the specific labels are less important to her than the queer umbrella. doesn't need to call out everything, the rainbow works just fine.

also gave her a water bottle and backpack because gotta stay hydrated out in the summer heat, especially if this IS gta au and it takes place in the gta version of california. the backpack is for more water bottles and the wallets/phones of her friends who might be more dressed up with less pocket space so they don't ruin their aesthetic with bags. abaddon's a team player.

jt:

jt's not queer herself but she's got two dads who absoLUTELY have been taking her to pride since she was an infant. she'll go with them as she grows up, too, but always love an excuse to draw her as a kid. she didn't necessarily pick out her outfit here, dads had to coordinate for her, but they do care a lot about her having a say in this sort of thing and got each piece jt-approved. she was particularly excited about the sparkly tutu.

as a teen and adult she gets different 'i love my dads' shirts to wear every year. probably doesn't wear too many rainbows herself outside of the shirt

bonus! cian:

cian is the allocishet guy in the friend group and someone who gets mistaken for also being queer a non-zero amount. it doesn't bother him and he mostly just corrects people if it's relevant. when the Bi Wife Energy tiktok came out he got like 5+ people sending it to him, 100%, thus the shirt, also since a lot of the women he dates/gets interested in end up being bi. cian is just a good guy and a safe guy and the queers flock to him, and also they invite him to pride with them and of COURSE he'll go.

(i think his design fluctuates every time i draw him. his hair looks pretty normal, i tend to make the... spikes? rounded for him and actually remembered to do that this time. it's the goatee that moves around a bit, finally remembered this time that usually goatees come with mustaches instead of only slapping the chin bit on him)

a couple more bonuses under the cut that don't fit the art styles

actually drew this abaddon before all the others, but struggled to draw any others in the same style. i wanted this post to be a bit more unified so i redrew her once i actually started having some luck with asya's piece, but i like how this turned out so i'm posting it damn it lmao i forget her undereye circles so often though, f

this piece is five years old now oh my god. ANYWAY sergey taking val to their first pride! sergey would either wear minimal actual pride gear - some beads he got at the event and a trans wristband - with otherwise normal clothes (accounting for the heat) or some kind of meme shirt on top of that. val also has minimal pride gear here mostly because they're looking to buy more at the event. sergey checks in on them frequently throughout the even to make sure they're not overheating in that binder. he remembers how fucking hot and sweaty those things get.

#ask tag #art tag #asya tag #abaddon tag #jt tag #cian tag #sergey tag #val tag

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qveerthe0ry · 9 months ago

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Hi Tings!

For this round of daily askgasms I’m asking the Inside the Actors Studio questionnaire! Imagine me doing my best James Lipton impression…

* What is your favorite word?

* What is your least favorite word?

* What turns you on?

* What turns you off?

* What is your favorite curse word?

* What sound or noise do you love?

* What sound or noise do you hate?

* What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

* What profession would you not like to do?

* If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

I’m excited to hear your answers!

Omg hi Kat!!! I always love your askgasms 🥹🫶🏻 these are such fun questions!

- I have a lot of favorite words and I feel like they’re always changing, but one that has stuck with me since I learned it in my 8th grade West Virginia History class is Spelunking. So fun (the word— I’m too claustrophobic to partake)

- my least favorite word right now is separate. I always want to spell it ‘seperate’ for some reason and get humbled DAILY

- lots of things turn me on (😅) but overall my biggest ‘normal’ turn-on is probably mustaches. I see someone with a mustache and I instantly want to buy a ticket, if you know what I mean.

- my biggest turn-off is probably a big ego. Gross. I don’t want it.

- my favorite curse word is ‘prick.’ I use it a lot in my writing and some people have said it makes them think I’m British, but growing up my very Appalachian dad always called people pricks and it just really resonated with me lmao

- my FAVORITE sound in the world is like, when a river is flowing steady and going over rocks. It reminds me of a very specific memory I have of camping with my family a year or so into college. The weight of the WORLD was heavy on my little 19 year old shoulders, but it started raining while me and my cousins were swimming in the river, and I just laid down on a rock and let the rain hit my face and listened to the water rushing past 😌 very cathartic. It also reminds me of river kayaking, which imo is the best kind of kayaking.

- the sound I hate the most is silverware scraping a ceramic plate. Ever since I was a kid I’d physically recoil when that happened at the dinner table— so did my mom. I always apologize if I accidentally do it when I’m eating out with friends and they never understand why lol

- I work a cushy desk job right now, but if I could pick anything else I would love to work with my hands. I worked as a stage technician running lights and sound for a theme park theater program for a year, but during the off season we were always taking down and building stage sets, using drills and stuff and painting, it was like life-sized arts and crafts and I would LOVE to do that again.

- ironically, I would hate to be a journalist. I have a journalism degree 😅 I was halfway through it when 2016 happened and there was SUCH a shift in vibes those surrounding years that made me really hate it. And also, the standards are so very heteronormative when you get into TV news, NOT my thing

- If heaven was real, I guess I’d just like to know that when my family members died, they didn’t feel alone, and everyone is together again in the afterlife. That would be very comforting.

Thank you as always for these questions, I always have so much fun thinking of my answers!!! 💖💕😘🫶🏻

#Tings Answers

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castle-dominion · 1 year ago

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6x17 audio but I won't liveblog too too much hopefully

marlowe bowman amann yay

writer upon writer upon director

good profile closeup

Yeah esposition

"package" sure

literally ran lol

self congratulatory stuff now, & finally the how to direct stuff heheh

Just piling it on, for sure

the f*ck you moment XD

as fast as possible, that was indeed good.

What does she know, what doesn't she know? how can we use that?

It's an episode of not knowing, the camera direction is good too. Where is her head level?

violation, intimidation, who do they think she is?

Yay bonus features

bowman saying it's good to hang on a shot? not fastfastfast?

delicious to write lol

that's true! it could be a call-response sort of thing! codewords!

every sentence is painful, dangerous

50k/week for my services? I am not a drug courrier

set dressing my beloved

displacement of information, ooh

Ah they had to switch the location of the phone call bc of the set

KENNY HAD HIS HAND ON THE DOORKNOB THAT ENTIRE TIME

good point, women in hoods is not typical drug stuff

"We think that she's recovering from an attempted suicide overdose when in fact... oops" he says, deadpan

Oh did they ever find that letter?

Small in a large space, always showing the guards

feature film in only eight days...

Ok I'm missing onfo on the actual show bc I'm just watching the audio commentary "I'm coping with having killed somebody" to "I'm coping with the fact I had to stage a convincing fake murder"

gothic <3

surreal images, mansion, in over your head, yeah this is so much larger than life

mythologized characters. When do you reveal them?

lmao hotel california but yeah that lady was weird & totally in a different story.

Earned her way to descend into hell...

You keep the ceo in the basement?

NO MOVIE LIGHTS THERE??

Yeah beckett's mom's murder is still a thing even tho they caught the guy-- wait this episode is before that lol

3x13? Yeah this is great

why put her badge number when she could just put in her initials? or even a random 19484 101st & that's it, espt would be like "wtf is this" & then they look into it & still learn stuff

I recall the audio commentary for this with the extended scene

she was so excited that she was going to be tortured

take it away you horrible (great) writers

indeed, great filming

"wveryone else has beaten her up why not just throw her down the hill?"

organic AND a surprise

maturity? Oh you're right!! She has tact now!

Oof that was nice!

#castle 6x17 #castle 6x17 spoilers #castle s6 bonus features

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aquariasmoon · 2 years ago

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Tala/Tyson headcanons

I posted about this ship and was asked to talk about my headcanons! (sorry it took so long lmao) So just my usual FYI but yes I very much lean more into the manga personalities rather than the anime ones. This is very much the case for Tala who I have written about quite a few times before! Also sorry In advance I sometimes keep switching from Japanese to English names lmao.

· .*How I could imagine them getting together*. ·

Tala wouldn't realise he was crushing on Tyson for a long time. He’s too caught up in his rivalry, not realising that his weird need for Tyson's focus and attention isn't purely about blading. Also he's dumb and bad at feelings.

Tyson being the disaster bi he is goes through a stage where he just crushes on everyone for a while. Most notably Kai but also every one of the bladebreakers at one point in time lol. But as Kai hangs out more with Neoborg in turn Tyson and the others end up spending more time with them too.

During this time finally interacting with Tyson without tournaments in the way and no need to be competitive outside of having fun is where Tala's jealousy streek starts to come into play. Tournaments are one thing but Kai getting all of Tyson's attention all the time outside of that? Nope, he's not having it. He still hasn't quite figured out he actually *likes* Tyson at this point though lol. He ends up purposefully initiating fights just for attention.

Tyson always up for a challenge, plays along and this is where his own crush starts to develop. I mean Tala is HOT but completely unreachable before now, the attraction was there but feelings start to grow. Also like when does Tyson back down from a fight?

The other guys figure it out pretty quickly, Max is like a radar for this sorta stuff lol. He calls Tyson out on it who finally admits he very much humours Tala just to spend time with him, also that he finds battling Tala exciting and he wants to get to know the guy better.

On the flip side Bryan realises that Tala is acting weird even for Tala, he sorta sussed it out but does not tell Tala, boy needs to figure it out on his own. He's rooting for them tho lmao. Just a little nudge here and there. “Oh going to see your boyfriend again?" 😏

The next tournament happens and Max, being the best wingman is pretty much glued to Neoborg and drags Tyson along with the excuse that they all just wanna hang out with kai. This is where Kai is finally told about Tyson's crush (from Max) and he ends up figuring out about Tala’s side too. He thinks they're both stupid, especially Tala who STILL hasn't figured out he's now HARDCORE crushing on Tyson.

Cue Tala's jealousy streak hits hardcore when the tournament is in its late stages. Sorry Tala but Kai is Tyson's real rival you can't change that. He can't stand Kai being in the spotlight right now and he doesn't understand why because he never had a problem with it before. So screw it. This is where he goes to find Tyson after his and Kai's match, purely on autopilot he pushes him against a wall and just kisses him. Almost gives Tyson a heart attack in the process. And finally. FINALLY, this as he's kissing Tyson is where Tala finally is like: 'OH! I like Tyson😱 FUCK'

It would take a while for them to actually be like a “couple” and even then it would very much be on the down low, never public. I mean real-world problems aside (I simply do not really like writing or thinking about these anyway) I very much just feel like Tala is a very private person when it comes to feelings and would not want the public to know about his business. But here are some headcanons for them actually dating:

· .*Relationship headcanons*. ·

Tala is very possessive, like to the EXTREME. Tyson actually likes this to a point. Thing is this boy has a dead mom and the rest of his family (other than his grandpa) are constantly leaving, this boy has abandonment issues. He hates the idea of people leaving him or becoming uninterested in him, so to have someone so aggressively want him he likes it…a lot. But it is a problem so they do try and work on this lol. Tala does eventually calm down but he has his own issues regarding this. He very much is unwilling to let things he considers important go, this is the main reason he sticks with his team. It's very much a “this is mine and you can't have it 😡 ” mentality.

Being with Tyson mellows out Tala a lot, I mean it's hard to be around someone like Tyson and not just learn to chill out a bit. I mean mellow for Tala is still really high-strung for most people but hey it’s progress! In turn, Tyson matures a bit more, because Tala won't ever let him talk his way out of something he learns to take responsibility better. They also bond over very brief and highly glossed over talks about their trauma, turns out they have a few points they can relate over. Tyson is relieved he can finally talk to someone about this sorta stuff and not feel judged and Tala is thankful that Tyson never pushes him to reveal more than he's comfortable with.

Tala is the one to bridge the language gap between them and learns Japanese. Dude is like a genius so it's not that hard for him. He doesn't even tell Tyson he’s learning it, he just busts it out one day just to style on Kai. Russian on the other hand Tyson can't wrap his head around, but not for lack of trying. He knows how to say a few words but that's it, he learns to listen for certain words when others are speaking around him tho. He ends up being able to pick out quite a lot of words for everyday things (and a lot of bad words lmao thank Bryan and Ian). Tyson really likes Tala's accent in both English and Japanese, he also loves hearing him speak in Russian. He gets Tala to read to him in Russian sometimes normally just whatever Tala happens to be studying at the time.

Tala is quite anti-touch with pretty much everyone other than Bryan or well, he is at first. They have to work on that and it's torture for Tyson to start with, guy is very touchy-feely and affectionate! Tyson gets it though, Tala needs time to come out of his shell and he lets him and gives him space, only initiating physical contact every now and then or so he thinks. From Tala's point of view, Tyson is attached to him 24/7, glued to his back like a little monkey and it's overwhelming. In the beginning he even has to distance himself a few times, he gets better at it as time goes on though. And I mean Tyson is so soft and nice to hug? What is this? Soft and casual physical affection. Disgusting, he wants more.

As the relationship goes on Tala gets more secure in it and it becomes familiar and normal, routine. He mellows out but one thing he can't put a damper on is his jealousy towards kai and at times the other BBA members, he just quietly seethes a little and it's probably the only time he ever gets physical around others. He very much will wrap a protective arm around Tyson if he thinks one of them is getting a bit too friendly, he wants Tyson's attention. The worst culprit of this is Kai who he very much feels he's competing with sometimes. He’s not insecure about himself or anything he just has a problem because he wants to completely monopolise Tyson when he has the free time to actually be around him.

This is very much a relationship that could turn really ugly real fast. You would think Tala's possessive and jealous behaviour and Tyson’s own insecurities sorta encouraging it would lead to something bad happening…but it never does despite them walking a very thin and dangerous line for quite a while. This is mainly because both of them acknowledge that they have these problems and are aware of when they are doing it. At the beginning of the relationship (when the problems were the worst), Tala hadn’t actually intended this to even be a relationship, thinking it was just something he needed to get out of his system. But the longer he spent with Tyson the more and more he caught real-ass feelings. It’s something that creeps up on him one night when he finally realises that he's actually trying to better himself for Tyson. Has a bit of a freak-out over that realization but gets over it LOL

When it comes to the other members of Neoborg all of them are a bit weirded out it's Tyson of all people but after they get over it they are happy Tala finally found someone, they really weren’t expecting that. Also, they are a bit relieved that it's actually someone nice XD The one who is the most worried about the relationship is actually Spencer who is worried he is going to hurt Tyson and in turn hurt himself in the backlash should that happen. Still, he feels he isn't one to question Tala's life choices. The borg boys are surprisingly nice to Tyson for fear of Tala's wrath only Tala is mean to Tyson Tyson and Ian even strike up an unlikely friendship because of this.

On Tyson's side, while a little unsure his friends are pretty supportive especially when it comes to Tyson dealing with Tala's uglier aspects. His grandfather is nervous about Tala too (I mean he saw what happened in s1 lol) but wants Tyson to be happy. He will warm up to the redhead once Tala proves he's not going to rip Tyson's heart out and stamp on it, takes a while tho (cuz at the beginning Tala thought he was going to do that himself lol). Tala on the flipside finds Tyson's grandfather real weird and also a little intimidating? XD Tala is also big on the Hiro hate train, both for his actions in Bega but also just cuz he's a shitty ass brother to Tyson. He however mostly keeps it to himself because it would be like if Tyson started randomly hating on Bryan or Spencer which he would hate. This does lead to some pretty awkward and interesting family dinners at the dojo.

Well that's it for now. If you've read all this well done! You should join the Tala/Tyson cult Ship! Go read my Mini fic Fire on Ao3 here lmao. Art is from this doodle here. When it comes to ships I have way too many thoughts so yeah If your gonna ask me about my headcanons expect an essay back XD That being said if you want an essay feel free to ask my opinion lmao.

#Tala/tyson #yuriy/takao #beyblade headcanons #ship stuff #beyblade #bakuten shoot beyblade #tala ivanov #yuriy ivanov #tyson granger #takao kinomiya

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jesslockwood · 3 years ago

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Photo Opportunities

Word Count: 2.7k

Pairing(s): Tom Holland x Actress!Reader

Warnings: FLUFF with a slightly (barely) suggestive sentence towards the end

A/n: damn I can't write anything except actress reader? smh but this is for @londonspidey ‘s sit-com Writing challenge (ik I'm early lol) but I was so excited I wrote the whole thing in one go lmao the prompt is bolded!

Calling yourself a fan was an understatement. You were obsessed with anything and everything marvel. And oddly enough, you could after today say you were in the club. It wasn’t a public fact yet, until later that day actually, at the Marvel panel at comic con that you were being announced as the actress for the character, Felica Hardy and no one else knew except for the people who cast you and your best friend who signed an NDA. You were technically still a known actress for your roles on television mainly as Thalia on the PJO Disney + series and a couple of still decently sized films.

You were currently wrapping up signing autographs for fans of yours for today. Your team had planned it out so it wasn’t suspicious that you were at the con with a few of your castmates scattered doing other junkets and press so people wouldn’t guess who they were acting as the cast for new marvel projects.

You had been planning to go meet your best friend, who wasn’t in the industry before getting a text that she bought you both a photo-op with someone and she wouldn’t tell you who. You couldn’t only assume it was a marvel actor that you would indeed, freak out.

Y/b/n: btw I brought you a mask. I get the wig lol.

You: please tell me it doesn’t cover my full face. Also, how are we posing?

Y/b/n: I bought as many photo ops as I could so a lot of different ones, And if I tell you the poses it’ll spoil it.

You: is this with the money I pay you to be my assistant with? Lol fine I’m omw with security

Y/b/n: maybe…

Y/b/n: and they’ll need more backup security for who we’re getting a photo op with than you do for your hellfire.

You roll your eyes before taking your stuff and exiting the booth, before heading out the backways with staff security and your detailed security for the day. You only had security because you wanted to explore the con when you weren’t needed.

Your best friend had also been your assistant for the con weekend, but you didn’t want her to be confined to you the whole three days so when she could, you would let her explore it, at least she could experience it as a fan, right?

When you made it to that part of the building, you wanted to wait in line with her, which your security didn’t agree to so she texted you when there were about five people ahead of her. She was one of the last in line, with you asking her to be kind, so others would get their chance to be first with whomever it was.

When she texted you and your detailed exit, getting a few stares and others taking their phones out to either take photos or tweet, you wave at them before joining your best friend in line.

“Here,” she says before handing you none other than a black cat mask before she puts on a red wig.

You glare at her slightly trying to not make a scene, before putting it on.

“I’m assuming you're Mary Jane?” you laugh figuring out that it had to be someone from Spider-Man.

“How’d you- never mind.” She laughs with you.

She then explains how she’s going to pose for your five photo ops, joking in between how she should “get a raise for this”.

You catch sight of him before sucking in your breath. This was either going to go down amazingly or terribly, there was no in-between with you.

“Excuse Me, are you Y/n Y/l/n?”

You turn around and are met by some fans who were standing in line behind you.

“I am! How’s your con going?” you ask politely to the two of them.

“It's going amazing! We love you as Thalia! Could we maybe get a picture? Only if it’s okay?”

“Of course! Thank you for supporting me!” your best friend grabs their phone to take the photo, before you take off the mask, and stand between the two fans, and your best friend snaps a few photos.

“Thank you so much! And Are you fans of Tom?”

You start slowly walking back to catch up to the line.

“Yeah, I love him as Spiderman, but I also enjoy his other roles. He's very talented, I'd love to work with him one day!”

“Have you seen him in Uncharted? We love Him as Nathan drake!”

“I have, he was amazing per usual! How are you two posing with him?”

They show you their innovative pose. You laugh and tell them it's great before you have to wish them goodbye before heading up for your turn for the photo op.

“How do we want to pose- hang on, I recognize you!”

You freeze slightly before your friend mouths for you to flirt. You look down at the mask in your hand before getting into character and saying “Of course you do Spidey, I'm always causing you trouble.” you put on the mask and wink.

He seems slightly stunned, laughing, feeling like he’s seen you somewhere, not only because he found you extremely gorgeous, while in his peripheral vision he sees his brother/ assistant, Harry waving like a madman on the side.

Your friend directs you both through the poses, first, one both him putting “webs” onto you as she looks over his shoulder, the second one, both of you kissing his cheeks, the third, all jumping in the air in your best superhero poses, the fourth one she gets a photo op alone and the last one she gives to you,

“Seriously, who are you?”

“Your Wildest dreams, baby,” you say, taking off the mask.

Your best friend yells “freestyle” from the sidelines before Tom dips you, gently, with you shocked, holding the mask out with your free arm and the photo captures that moment.

He gently helps you stand back up fully, not before you drop the mask.

“Nice moves Spider-Man.”

“Not so bad yourself, Black Cat.”

You laugh before, taking off with your best friend, well more her dragging you to the printing station leaving the mask behind. Tom picks it up before shoving it in his back pocket to hopefully give back if he could find you.

`You were sitting in the green room, trending on Twitter before you were actually supposed to be trending on Twitter, and god knows where else.

Someone had snuck a video of you and Tom, up till him dipping you, and a video of you interacting with the fans in the line.

Your Y/b/n was currently reading off some tweets out loud

“‘A kind queen we stan.’ I agree, I also agree with ‘Date her if you can't date me tom!!!’.

‘THALIA AND PETER PARKER??? My two fandoms have collided.’ same, same. Oo this one says, ‘if she ain’t playing black cat I will sue marvel.’ I'm dying at the reply ‘She needs to post the photos or I'll sue her!’. This one’s funny, ‘she could squash him like a bug in heels but he liked his queen like that.’.”

She pauses watching you texting.

“Y/n? Y/n?”

“What? Sorry I was only half listening. I was texting my publicist. She said to stay on the DL until tonight.

“Well we should get food, you haven't eaten since this morning.”

“By the way, your show has shot to number one on Disney +. Also, you have like three times the followers you had before, probably cause you're trending on every platform, even Tumblr!”

“Wow you should just become my social media manager now.” you joke trying to ease the joy yet weirded out feeling in your stomach.

“Does that come with a raise? Because after today I've spent way too much of what I'm paid.” she jokes back.

After finishing his photo ops Tom asked Harry who she was and to find out. By the time he finished autographs for the day, Tom and Harry walked to the panel room in the back for announcements, one that included him for the new Avengers movie, while Harry gave him the rundown.

“So she’s an actress, she plays Thalia on Disney plus’ Percy Jackson series, and that's her most known project. The other girl with her is her assistant best friend, and now she's trending everywhere. People dug up some old photos of her being a marvel/Spider-Man fan, so there's that. And she's here at the con for the rest of the weekend. She's doing photo ops tomorrow at one, and yes she's single from what I gather since you were looking at her like this.” he makes a weird face before tom smacks him.

“And plus you have time in your schedule to get a photo op with her, that is if you eat lunch quickly.”

That gave Tom an idea.

“Harry I’m going to need you to book me one, oh and help me find a Spider-Man costume!” He says, before leaving harry to do ‘assistant’ work. entering the green room for the announcements, watching them announce a new movie.

“We are so excited to announce to the Marvel Universe, and spider-verse-” that perked tom’s ears, “-directed by Gina Prince-Bythewood, and today we are announcing our amazing Miss Felicia Hardy, please give a warm welcome to the stage, Your Black Cat!”

You suddenly emerged in an aisle way, dressed in all black with a leather jacket, black ankle boots, and of course black sunglasses indoors.

The music is marvel music until it suddenly changes after a recorded laugh from you into “I can’t be tamed by Miley Cyrus”.

You start owning the music while saying hi and touching fans’ hands. You decide to take off your sunglasses and throwing them to a fan, for them to keep, before getting on stage.

“What a Performance from the one the only Y/n Y/l/n!”

You laugh, being met with the loudest applause you had heard all con before being handed a Mic.

“Thank you but I'm a terrible dancer.” You Joke.

Tom was staring at the screen stunned. You had been the black cat all along. You were in the marvel universe and spidey one, so he'd definitely be seeing more of you. The hard part is that you seemed so genuine when you talked, interacted with fans and was no doubt, stunning.

“Better close your mouth or the flies will get in.” Tom turns around to find the voice of none other than his friend slash bully, Sebastian Stan, along with Anthony Mackie.

“Looks like the kid has a crush!” Anthony laughs, pointing to the screen you were on.

“I-I don’t! I don’t even know her!” Tom tries to come to his own defense, hopelessly.

“She’s got you whipped already don’t even deny it.” Harry comes in, joining the teasing of one, Tom Holland.

“Maybe we can invite her out for drinks tonight, then fanboy over here can meet her, and then probably scare her off!” Anthony mentions.

“You haven’t looked on the internet? They’ve already met.” Seb says, before showing Anthony twitter.

Anthony stands there slightly shocked before bursting into laughter.

“Well, she’s damn well a keeper for Tom since she obviously likes him.”

A staff member peaks their head in the green room to tell Tom he’s up next.

“Well, that’s my cue to leave you two!”

On the other hand, you were on an adrenaline high from being on stage, and seeing all the fans. You knew tomorrow was going to be crazy, as you expected people to book your photo op left and right since the announcement.

You had decided to decline an offer from your fellow marvel universe castmates, Sebastian Stan and Anthony Mackie, which they so graciously told you that whenever you’re free, the offer still stood.

You had gotten to your hotel room seeing your phone blowing up on the social media apps for the second time that day.

You responded to the important stuff, before heading to bed, knowing it was going to be hectic.

You had been right, it was absolutely insane, the number of people who showed up. You had fully booked all your time slots for photo ops. You had seen so many people dressed up in marvel cosplay, ranging from Loki to Ironman, even some people dressed up as your character, which was wildly insane to see.

You had been nearing the end of the line and had enjoyed every moment with the fans, and you couldn’t wait for your autographing session later that day, to truly get a chance to talk to the fans and connect with them and how they felt about you being their beloved Black Cat.

After a few more photos, posing how they wanted, you see a fully dressed, head to toe, mask and all, Spider-Man. You had seen some spider-mans but most took off their masks to snap a picture. The person was the last in line.

“Hey Black Cat.” The southern American accented voice tells you, seeming very familiar.

“Hey, Spider, what poses do you have up your sleeve?” you ask kindly.

“I bought a few, Cat.” they laugh.

“Okay, You can do whatever a spider can right?” you pull out a line out of the comics jokingly.

“I can do flips if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Is that some kind of nerd pick-up line? Because it’s only kind of working.” you laugh.

“I really can, but this is one.”

He gets down on one knee, holding a black cat mask instead of a ring. The photographer captures the shocked expression on your face.

“I- Don’t- What- Spider I-”

“Ow My feelings…” Suddenly their voice changes into a British accent before they pull off the mask to reveal-

“Tom?”

“I guess you don’t have a spidey sense darling?” The photographer captures the moment without warning eating the moment up.

You laugh at that.

“I guess you found out my true identity Spider. And it’s nice to officially meet you, Tom.”

He laughs, just as nervous as you, he notices he has gotten closer to you and a strand of hair loosely is blowing in your face, so naturally, he pushes it behind your ear. Another snap of the camera can be heard.

“NOW KISS!” a voice belonging to your best friend yells from the side, mid-eating a churro.

You both laugh really hard at that.

The both of you calm down, slowly leaning lost in the moment. The camera snaps again. You both look at the photographer weirded out, and they just shrug.

“Wait can you actually do a flip?” you ask, pulling away, not wanting prying eyes aka the photographer, to pry in your business.

“I can, though I’d show you later, maybe in the greenroom?”

“That sounds naughty, but, sure.” you joke around.

He laughs before, you both take off from the area going to grab the photos.

After spending most of the day together when you could, you get Tom’s number, before heading back to your hotel room. He texts you as soon as you get back.

Spider: I had fun today, minus finding our assistants making out.

You: we should ‘snog’ too, it’ll gross them out ;)

You: I had fun too btw. Are you leaving tomorrow?

Spider: lol we should. And yeah an early flight, 6 am to be exact. Hbu?

You: Yeah me too... another day another dollar lol

Spider: ill miss you, Cat.

You: stop talking like we’ll never see each other again lol. As a matter of fact, come to my room, we’re watching a movie!

Spider: alright, I’ll order snacks.

You sigh smiling at your phone. You haven’t felt this giddy in a long time.

Your phone pings with a few Instagram notifications.

Tomholland2013 has started following you.

Tomholland2013 has tagged you in a photo.

You open Instagram to find the photo of him “proposing” to you posted.

“Ow, my leg, my- feelings...Welcome to the Universe, Cat.” the photo is captioned. You decide to post, the photo of him dipping you.

“So what do you say, Spider? Wanna help me pull off the Heist of the Heist of the Century?” you caption it, Before getting comfortable to watch a movie.

What an opportunity ;)

Tags:

@lolooo22 @webmeupspiderdaddy @harryhollandsgirlfriend @spideyspeaches @greenorangevioletgrass @queenofthepouges @sheranatic111 @keithseabrook27

#tom holland #peter parker #marvel #spider-man #tom holland fic #tom holland x reader #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x y/n #tom holland imagine #tom holland one shot #comic con #ace comic con seattle #ace con #comiccon #Katies4kwc

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jiminrings · 4 years ago

Note

hi!! can i request a drabble of new personaltrainer!jungkook training a pretty awkward (and kinda chubby/thicc..?) y/n and its super fluffy and aaaa,, i love your writing aaaa 🥺

cloud nine

pairing: jungkook x y/n

wordcount: 3k

glimpse: y/n finally gives into jimin the gymbro’s thoughtful push, and jungkook is sO close to barking back to his chihuahua the moment he gets home :D // gif isn’t mine but look at it it’s so cRISPY!!!

notes: thank you sO much babie!! here you go :D

okay that’s iT!!

you totally need something new in your life

you need a change of pace or whatever that’s called

all the days you’ve been having are all blurring into the same one and it just makes you feel so stagnant

the only difference you could point out are the sleep shirts you wear and that’s ONLY if you don’t try to repeat wearing them

you now have a list of people you’re in awe of

people who genuinely and unironically consider friends the tv show as a cinematic masterpiece because nOAH FENCE how do they manage to get entertained by laugh tracks and the same skit over and over again

ok maybe your slander towards it increased because hoseok (the guy you have a sorta crush on) likes it and he leaves you on read and sometimes doesn’t even open your message and thEN you’d see his instagram stories and they’re all just???? friends???? what was the reason

and second, jimin!

jimin’s your best friend and that just makes you awed even more because you don’t even know how the two of you got close

jk it was when your friends forced you to come with them at this inflatable water park and you were sCARED and so he held your lifevest and was like

“hEY do you wanna take this in the same pace that i’m doing it?? tbh i just wanna get back to my mimosas but my friends paid too expensively for this”

<3 he has been the guardian of your heart since <3

jimin’s just so well-paced and organized and knows how to have his fun that his daily life doesn’t seem like a mindless routine

you are actively YEARNING for that kind of lifestyle

and right now it just seems like the stars are aligning for you and are practically made for your existence alone!!

jimin’s a gymbro

he is the living breathing talking definition of gymbro and gymrat and gymgod or whatever it is

.....

.......

.... gymin if u will ....

okAy then

but he wasn’t the aggressive type of gymbro, not at all!

he’s a total natural!!

like he’s ripped but not excessively and exaggeratedly ripped

he doesn’t flex but the muscle definition and the physique are just wHew exquisite!!

he doesn’t talk in protein powder lingo but you aren’t surprised to see a giant jug of it inside his cupboard!!! after all he’s proud to say that it’s practically all-skill!!!

and to top it off.,.,

okay so jimin takes off his shirt right

the two of you are neighbors and you often come into each other’s places and it feels like home too

and you aren’t complaining!! you know that he runs a little hot that normal and you wouldn’t want him overheating

but he has this large tattoo on his rib that reads nevermind and it’s so cOOL and it just makes the gears in your head go creak creak because aha your best friend is the blueprint huh

you’re not surprised!! you really aren’t!!

after all, why would you be surprised out of all the things above when you already know that he owns a goddamn GYM??

the only regret that you have is not meeting him sooner :((

yeah sure pjm athletics does have a nice ring to it bUT WHAT ABOUT PARK’S GYMIN

you’ve always been.,., a lil curious ok

i mean your goddamn friend is the ownEr of a really well-known and well-praised gym!! how could you not??

you don’t wanna mooch off from him though no matter how much he offers you free classes and stuff

he always brings you home extra merch and energy drinks that you’re sure you can now have a tap for gatorade

he’s not dENSE!! he sees how you look at him whenever he does push-ups on your floor or when he does planks like no big deal

there’s this thought at the back of your head that y’know..,., what if THIS was the thing that’s gonna be your change of pace

lmao you’re looking for hardship basically

jimin’s finally had it when you sigh for the eleventh time while he’s doing pull-ups

you want to spend your own money and he knows you won’t accept any of his offers!!

that’s it he needs to be smart about this!!!

“woah jimin holy sHIT you’re having a 50% off your membership??? and it comes with a trainer too??? are you serious right now???”

:)))

he can now sleep in peace knowing his editing job for this flyer has paid off and he’s passed the “y/n’s not believing me” stage :))

if it wasn’t established enough there really isn’t a sale lol

here you are then,.,.

wearing workout leggings that jimin deemed to be reAlly great and it made quite a hefty dent in your wallet but you trust his judgement so ok

you’re not in the mood to wear anything besides jimin’s black dri-fit shirt because you really don’t wanna attract attention as the newbie

this is good!! you now have a gym membership AND a personal trainer!!

you dON’T exactly need them but you feel you just do y’know!! there’s no harm in trying :D

you didn’t want jimin to be your personal trainer and he basically sULKED for a whole week

it’s not a him problem!! it’s a you problem!!!

you know that it’s a given that the trainers shOuld be excellently to a degree to actually train someone else

but it’s now dawning in you that HE’S the owner and he’s so intimidatingly good!!! you would look like a raw egg that’s just dumped haphazardly into a pot and he’s the perfectly-boiled egg :((

oh my god

jungkook feels like he’s gonna throw up with how nervous he is

it’s his first day as a personal trainer!! :D

he’s half-excited and half-terrified because holy shit fIRST of all this gym was hard to apply to in the first place

everyone’s flocking it because:

a) it’s really great

b) even greater benefits for the employees

c) the pay is hUGE

d) the equipment?? the morals?? the testimonials?? the owner?? the whole thing??? FANTASTIC

and second omg jungkook won’t admit it to anyone but uHm he’s kinda scared ok

he’s not the type of person that’s comfortable with ordering people around??? even if that’s technically his job???

like what if his first-ever client is a guy like jason momoa and that guy’s a fucking UNIT for sure

imagine hIM telling jASON MOMOA to give him three sets x twenty reps of push-ups

g-gulp

“or i can do it for you, i-if you want?”

he’s bouncing nervously on the balls of his feet and swinging his arms around forward and backward to make them clap quietly

“there, you’re all set!! i already filled up all the forms for you the moment i gave you the flyer!!”

“but-“

“your trainer’s... not me. but he’s uh, what’s his name again, jungkook!! what does he look like again — oh right!! i remember!!”

“jimin-“

“he should be the guy with the big doe eyes!! has a lot of dangly earrings!! if he’s not wearing a sweater then he should be the one who has some tattoos!!”

“no jimin-“

“off you go!! i’ll be bouncing around but i’ll keep an eye on you, don’t worry!! okay now go and i’ll let you have a sip of my gatorade even if we have the same drink :D”

.....

whew

there goes nothing then

you’re about to keep your duffel bag close as a reason to stall to getting to the locker room but jimin’s already one step ahead and snatched it from you

you didn’t even get your towel :((

it had a little blue cloud embroidered at the middle of it and it’s your Emotional Support Towel by default

you’re kinda nervous since there’s some pairs of eyes on you because after all they just saw you have the most carefree conversation with the owner they’re a lil scared to talk to

you’re wringing your hands together as you try to spot this jungkook with jimin’s descriptions and-

O H

jungkook looks so ????

wow?????

he’s gorgeous like that is nOt up for debate

he looks so fresh?? effortless?? handsome???

jungkook looks like he smells like baby powder and freshly-washed sheets

the baby powder that you’re tempted to snORt because it smells so good which was the one you’d put on your chest bc boob sweat and to prevent ur thighs chafing

he had to do a double-take on you because the first time he glanced at this walking person he immediately shut down

like when something looks sO pretty that you have to look away for a second because you literally can’t take it

oR like when you have this favorite scene of a movie and you have to physically pause it before rewinding and doing that for another six times

“are you perhaps jungkook?? because i’m not surE and-...”

“jungkook i am. i-i aM jeon jungkook!! yes, right, jungkook!!!!!”

holy fuck he’s stopped working

your mouth’s a little parted because you didn’t expect him to go on that lil spiel cLEARLY but omg he’s adorable!!!

if he could punch himself he really would

it’s taking him a second to regroup but you take the initiative to introduce yourself :D

“i’m y/n! you’re my trainer from what they told me :))”

you’re a lil more awkward when it comes to social interactions like these but it looks like you’re acing it when put in front of jungkook

the both of you shake hands and then immediately put it behind your back because wow u just shook the pretty boy’s hand AND it’s not even 8 in the morning yet!!

you haven’t even started the workout portion yet but ur already on fire

( jimin’s looking at the security footage and even HE’S blushing from the secondhand embarrassment jungkook’s brough oh my god )

(( jimin suddenly wishes he could unlearn reading people’s lips ))

“so, what brought you here?”

it’s jungkook who asks but he alsO wants to answer himself to say it’s fate aha :D

he’s getting you to stretches and he’s doing them with you!!

“to be honest?? well there was like a fIFTY percent discount but you already know all of that”

wait

what now

“a sale? what-...”

there’s an abrupt noise that goes through the whole gym and it makes the both of you flinch and you even yelP

if you see jimin lifting a 100lbs barbell only to throw it down and cut off jungkook from speaking THEN MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS

“you okay?”

jungkook asks you quietly and taps your shoulder and you’re about to faint right then and there of how you met like then minutes ago and he’s cONCERNED

the focus on today was flexibility plus easing you into working out!!!

stretches are the next best thing to working out and it’s a win-win combo bc you’re flexible aND you’re basically exerting effort = kind of a workout apparently

the bit of reaching your toes then doing a downward dog and the upward-facing dog right after to hear that satisfying grunt of your joints is a LITTLE awkward because jungkook’s looking at you

jungkook wants to look away but in the same time he can’t will himself to

one because he’s a young wide-eyed attracted man and twO he’s the trainer omg he needs to look at you!!!

“o-okay! just a set of jack jum — jUMPING JACKS!!! jumping jacks and we could start :)))”

no one told you.,.,.

no one told you where you should look when you’re doing jumping jacks

you can’t look downwards because that’ll throw you off and you can’t look up either because why?? what??? WHO are you seeking up there????

looking straight ahead is kinda awkward

the safe answer was everywhere at once according to you

you sneak a look at jungkook and you almost choke in your own spit with how handsome he still looks

you’re not gonna cope up with that fact probably ever

jungkook’s feeling a lil sweaty now because uHm he shouldn’t really be doing this with you technically

it’s usually a trainer doing it with you for like the first five reps and then letting you do it alone for the rest

but nO he’s doing this with you he doesn’t mind :D

he could feel a bead of sweat by his sideburns and he’s screaming internally to gO the fuck back where it came from

he wants to tear off his hoodie but he doesn’t know if he should since he doesn’t have a shirt underneath!!!

being shirtless to the gym isn’t new but you’re with him and nOW he feels nervous

honestly jungkook would rather overheat than to make you feel uncomfortable

news flash: you want to curl up into a ball and cry about thinking how you’d be sore the next day

you r about to give out and tear up a little bit because fuck this is nOT an introductory workout

you also don’t want to look like a wimp in front of jungkook because that is not a good look for your pride and you’d feel embarrassed for eternity

just two more to go!!

honestly fUCK fire hydrants!!! 𝕨𝕙𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕗𝕦𝕔𝕜 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦?? 𝕨𝕙𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕗𝕦𝕔𝕜 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦?? 𝕨𝕙𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕚𝕊?? 𝕨𝕙𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕓𝕖???? 𝕚 𝕕𝕠𝕟’𝕥 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕟 𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝕪𝕠 𝕒𝕊𝕊!!!

you raise your head because you’re getting dizzy looking down

jungkook’s looking at you and he sees you looking at him and it dOESN’T help the way you look right now

with you sweaty and grumbling under your breath and ur baby hair all over the place and ur eyes unfocused and fix at the same time a-and ur lips parted and-

JESUS LINE UP AT THE DMV RIGHT NOW TAKE THE WHEEL

jungkook’s so nervous and flustered that his limp actually trembles with how hot his cheeks are and he’s rambling out of nowhere

“fire hydrants amirite??? most certainly inspired by dogs and stuff because cooky, my chihuahua, does exactly that when he pees and-...”

THERE’S THAT LOUD BARBELL CLANGING AGAIN

oh my god he should not have said that

jungkook’s beyond mortified wHY DID HE SAY THAT

you look speechless and you aRE

you’re just nodding at him with a tight-lipped smile and if he knows better that’s because you’re so spent and a little light-headed and less off from his nervous rambling

planks,,, just planks,,, the final bit of it all

you don’t wanna get dizzy at the last stretch so you’re trying your best to not pay attention to the blood rushing to ur head

jungkook’s so distracted with his thoughts that he wordlessly adjusts you

lifts up your core while adjusting your feet closer before pressing his hand to your back and-

aHA FUCK

you now feel like you can run a marathon right after that

jungkook now feels like he can compete in a twenty-hour triathlon

he’s praising you to no end that you did sOOOO good!!! you really did!!!!

meanwhile your face is hot not only from that but also because you’ve endured hardship that felt like hours <3

you’re breathlessly laughing because wHEW you really did do that and wow you’re proud of yourself!!!! it’s not even 10 in the morning!!!

there’s a towel that’s gently patting your face section by section

“you uhm, you didn’t have a towel with you so-“

jungkook pats at your neck to your nape and that’s when it hits that o-OH right i’ll leave you to that

you take the towel with a grin you’re fighting so hard and that’s when you realize that it’s not just a random gym one

but rather it was jungkook’s himself because it’s the same clean one he had in his hands awhile ago!!

you can smell him on it and you make sure to pat your face extra dry because you wouldn’t want to get your face sweaty now would you :D his perfume’s just a bonus, right :D

shouldn’t trainers be the cold and straight to the point ones and immediately leave right after you’re all done????

..... inch resting

“oh my gOD — mr. jimin sir-nim min jimin-nIM!!”

jungkook has the fright of his life when his boss appears from nowhere by his side

jimin laughs at how frazzled this guy is lmao but anyways he came here for you (as if he hasn’t been supervising from afar the whole time)

“want me to give you a ride home or?”

kook’s a little lost and he might just cry as he starts to think that oh wait a second are you guys-

“he’s my best friend.”

you whisper under your breath towards him and he unknowingly sighs in relief

“well did you get here using your jeep or your vespa???”

jimin has this jeep he passionately calls chimmy the jeep and he has a knack for naming things with a ring on it ok

and the other was a cream-colored vespa he bought like six months ago

he learned how to ride the bike a year ago and he was immediately let’s get this to the next level idc i’m getting a vESPA!!!

you have an iRRATIONAL fear of vespas

you’re okay with big bikes and regular motorcycles!!! in fact you find them less threatening than jimin’s motorcycle

the little wheels scare you and it’s just so??? it looks so bite-sized wHY does it look like that???? it looks like you could breathe an extra breath to your right and the vespa would steer to the right

ugh you hate his motorcycle sO bad

“well don’t you hAte public transport when you’re tired and all that???”

yikes you did

it’s true!! you’d call him to pick you up because the bus ride hits harder when you’ve had a long day and u feel every bump in the road possible

“i have a big bike!”

jungkook chimes in and he even raises his hand and that’s when he shuts up when he realizes his mistake

“no one asked mhmm i’m sorry jimin-nim sir hYung-nim”

your eyes widen as it sinks in you that oh my god he mIGHT be as into you as you are with him and that’s so ???? that’s such a heartwarming concept you can’t believe

jungkook has the same big brain moment and he takes your widened eyes as a signal to keep talking

“i have TWO helmets! but uhm one of them is for kooky and he’s a chihuahua, wait i already said that, so that means it’s just a tINY helmet i ordered from amazon but it’s okAy i can wear it!!! b-but i’m not forcing you or anything that i should take you home o-or no offense to mr. jimin-nim sir i am NOT underestimating you or-“

surprisingly, jimin doesn’t hate the idea of you and jungkook

ah he should probably adopt a dog and name them jupiter or sth,,, you and koo look like you’re gonna end up anyways

“okay. just bring her home in one piece.”

he’s oddly calm and that also makes YOU confused

jungkook isn’t confused however because the moment you turn, jimin mouths to him in korean and the rough translation was hurt her and i’ll kill you :D

you nodded your head and that meant he’s iNDEED taking you bome

he starts throwing things in his duffel bag (and he should still be in the gym but jimin jus gave him a free pass) and he’s wordlessly carrying yours too!!

he could feel your fist holding the back of his hoodie and jungkook just feels at peace :’’’)

wearing a ridiculous miniature helmet for dogs on top of his head that won’t do shit is tOTALLY worth it

#feedback pls and thank you :D #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook imagine #jungkook imagines #jungkook drabble #jungkook drabbles #jungkook au #jungkook oneshot #jungkook oneshots #jungkook fluff #jungkook fluff imagine #jungkook fic recs #trainer!jungkook #bts masterlist #requested drabbles

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firewoodfigs · 3 years ago

Text

a smorgasbord of unbidden thoughts / highlights (long post ahead!):

we’re slowly creeping out of the lockdown, and we’re allowed to go out for meals now! I got to meet a friend for dinner on Monday and he treated me to some amazing Italian fare as a belated birthday gift :’) I was really craving Italian after watching Luca and I haven’t had good pasta in a long while, so that was really nice. I also met a friend for dinner today after work, and we’re just glad to have made it to Friday tbh lmao. it was nice catching up again after so long and talking about everything under the sun (in this case, under the moon). I love spending time alone and having time myself, but I can’t deny that I’ve also missed interacting with other sentient life forms lmao.

I managed to re-schedule my vaccine slots, and I'm getting my first shot tomorrow! fingers crossed it won’t be too bad (I still wanna be able to type through the soreness 😩). I'm a little nervous tbh because I absolutely detest needles, but I feel like at this point I just don’t care anymore LMAO. it also helps that my bf and I got the same vaccination slot, so I guess I'll just make a ruckus and be a nuisance if things go south. jk

next week’s my last full week of work before my two-month break begins! I'm really excited to finally get a breather from work (although to be fair I've only been working for like... 6 months lmao rip) before things get real hectic in September haha. I'm definitely not looking forward to the added responsibilities, and i’m honestly not sure how to feel about getting called to the bar because everyday is just a flurry of shit, am I really cut out for this and help, work is dulling my * sparkle * and yo, you think I can just move somewhere west and be a country singer? but oh well. too late I guess. I'm too deep in debt to get out now LMAO. jk

on the bright side, though, I received news today that I’ve been designated to my preferred area of practice for my next seat :) and i'm pretty excited about that! I've honestly been feeling pretty desiccated about the law ever since starting practice because it’s so different from whatever I've studied and something that college couldn’t have possibly prepared me for lmao (many thoughts but I don’t want to turn this into an essay so I will simply project my feelings onto my favourite war criminals)

it’s been a struggle to create lately, for various reasons. these days it feels like anything I make is woefully inadequate and subpar and mediocre, and i’m just. constantly torn between striking everything out altogether and desperately wanting to be better, to feel better. I felt a little burnt out after royai week because I was rushing to complete so many projects and ideas on time (I do tend to get a little overambitious and overzealous that way, haha), and so I tried to take a break, but I couldn’t properly rest, either, because these days I only feel alive when I'm... creating. LOL. it's like an unresolvable paradox where I slog to feel alive and then feel like death, and then feel like I'm wasting away and wasting time when I'm being unproductive and fruitless. idk, man. it’s probably the productivity guilt acting up or something. it doesn’t help that my mind is an unholy mix of anxiety and imposter syndrome and perfectionism, either, or that inspiration only strikes me at the ungodliest of hours. I find that it’s easier to write when I've cleared everything else on my plate, but sometimes it’ll be midnight by the time I've done that because there’s just so much to do. I end up writing at two in the morning and/or recording snippets of a putative song while half-asleep (the result is usually pretty dang awful, because I have no idea what I was saying when I listen to it the next day lmao).

I also find it to difficult to alternate between so many forms of writing. my job mostly consists of reading and writing (mostly boring and terribly dreary stuff, because lawyers have apparently never heard of punctuation or one-liners, and I am 100% proving this right now with my streams of consciousness), and my hobbies primarily include that, too. I've also been struggling to switch between writing prose/fic and poems and songs because i tend to focus on different things. (I also have the attention span of a goldfish. or a confused rat.) like, I focus a lot more on how things flow for the first, how things look for the second, and how things sound for the third, if that makes sense? but I also literally cannot focus on one thing at a time so everything is just a half-written mess and a smattering of my illegible scrawls tbh 😞 I'm hoping that I'll have more time to sit down and properly sort these out one at a time during my break hahaha.

that being said, I read something this week about the four stages of learning a new skill LOL iirc it goes (1) unconscious incompetence (2) conscious incompetence (3) conscious competence (4) unconscious incompetence? I find that I'm stuck at (2) atm for a lot of things, which is probably why it’s so hard to go forth and do the damn thing without descending into a spiral of self-doubt haha. the truth is I rely on external reassurances and validation a great deal to tide me through, because my mind is just so used to criticising myself for everything and being my own harshest critic that it’s become a challenge to objectively assess my own work. it’s probably a defence mechanism to feeling like failure is not an option and/or my upbringing or something, and it’s how I’ve coped with a lot of things, but I'm also coming to realise that it’s not always the healthiest way to live haha.

BUT, you know. at the end of the day it’s a hobby and it’s supposed to be fun and joy-inducing and. it’s so easy to ruin all of that in the process of pursuing perfection so. I think i’ll just work on attempting the damn thing and worrying about it afterwards 🤠 (and also being less exacting on myself haha)

ending things on a lighter and brighter note - I received a lovely surprise from a friend this week!! I ordered some earrings from her (the stuff she makes is the stuff of DREAMS) and she tossed in a necklace for me and it’s just. it’s beautiful. it’s handmade. it’s astounding. I'm weeping.

#personal #not fma #sorry this turned out to be such a long ramble lmao... I've just been keeping these thoughts to the back of my mind #and it's Friday night so I'm unleashing them from the vault LMAO #anyway I'm off to bed!!! <3 I hope y'all have a lovely weekend mwahmwahMWAH

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cuefog · 4 years ago

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tog/khunbam fic rec

this is for @cannottranslate because you asked for it and i am grateful for the excuse to make a fic rec post

i expect this will be a long post so i’ll put it under read ↓

i’ll be leaving my own thoughts and comments under each fic (im sorry in advance for rambling too much)!! if you want the full summary and other info please click on the link provided lol

!!webtoon spoilers beware!!

♡ = one of my favourites

canon timeline

(these will be the ones that are set in the canon world and follow major plot events, even if there some changes in the details and relationships)

♡ deep sea blue by Feyren ♡

please read everything written by feyren!!!! lovely prose, wonderfully written khunbam emotional tension. khun braiding his beautiful hair accompanied by symbolism and perfectly crafted metaphor. bonus earrings.

♡ hollow moons by NoteInABottle ♡

please also read everything by noteinabottle!! equally lovely prose, wonderfully written khunbam emotional tension. khun wearing earrings and giving them to bam, accompanied by lots of symbolism and perfectly crafted metaphor. you could probably consider this a companion fic to feyren’s deep sea blue. both of these fics gave me a Thing for khun’s earrings (>_<;)``

take my hand (take my whole life too) by RadiantAshe

our dear ashe has written lots of great stuff but i think this is my favourite!! so much khunbam softness, very classic s3 vibes <33

Chestnuts at Nighttime by khunfounded (ongoing)

khun with a cat who loves him very much, and vice versa. that’s all the explanation you need. this fic overloads my heart with cute soft fluffy feelings!!! (bonus khun and bam dolls with little hands made of velcro so they can hold each other’s hands (ʘ‿ʘ✿) please i can’t take any more of this, somebody help my heart is gonna explode)

a thousand paths to you by LiannaAila

set during the time of khun’s coma. bam travels to a parallel universe and meets an alive and awake khun. this fic is exactly what it says it is and it’s so lovely <3

oh no he’s hot (and other earth-shattering revelations) by Bird_of_Dreams

tldr; bam being thirsty over khun

khun aguero agnis and his growing competency kink by chuuyaya

tldr; khun being thirsty over bam

motion by smokeandwaves (rated Explicit)

set during hell train, khunbam focused. this one is really popular in the fandom!! it’s well written, and if you consider smut a genre i would say this is the best one in the tog tag. lots of emotions, and a wonderful flow of feeling!! also it has a few sequel fics in the series, ‘obedience’ in particular being all about sub!khun,, which is,, (*ﾉωﾉ)

sometimes when i look into your eyes i pretend you're mine by agueros (minamis)

residents of the tower ship jue viole grace and khun aguero agnis and write fanfiction about them (i love these types of fics lmao)

From: Khun by AngrySheepProject and To you who lies with my heart under the sea by Strawbellie666 (ongoing)

khun messaging bam’s pocket when he thought he was dead in s2

canon divergence + future canonverse

(future fics means it’s set in the future of the current canon, which at the nest arc rn)

♡ A World Without You by Breaking_Formation ♡

this one might be my favourite out of all of them. i know it says major character death but it happens in the beginning and there’s a promised happy ending so don’t worry!!! this one is a beautiful 20k word masterpiece.... seriously..... this fic is set after the nest arc, it has lots of Plot and plays around with the world and the lore of the Tower, so it’s already fascinating that way, but the real heart of the story is in the emotions!! if you love witnessing khun’s endless devotion to bam, this is the fic that shows you that devotion reflected right back at khun. it might bring you to tears :’)

♡ Our Hearts Are Made of Stars by Ruinous ♡ (ongoing)

out of the 5 or so other time travel au fics in the tog fandom, this one is definitely my favourite!! time travel aus are all super fun to read, but this one stood out to me especially because it hits all the right spots!! it’s written well and i love the level of foresight, and the emotions detailed into this, it really feels like the friendships and bonds are at the heart of this story and all the fighting stuff will turn out just fine, and everything will be ok :)

♡ enough by Feyren ♡

future fic, set in a cocktail party on the 87th floor. this is so well written!!!!! again, please just read everything written by feyren. the prose is wonderful and everything going on in this fic feels so well-crafted and carefully executed with just the right amount of subtlety in all the emotions. i think it’s gorgeous.

fire and ice by soundscape (ongoing)

set vaguely in the future. still ongoing, and the story feels like it’s just started, but very intriguing plot!! premise is people trying to separate khun from bam + the team trying to deal with shady fug plots

dig down deep by milkywxy (ongoing)

this one is a plotty one!! diverges from canon at the hidden floor arc. bam decides not to let rachel go with them. im super interested to see where this story goes!!

where the current leaves us by macrauchenia (ongoing)

this one is a Plotty one, still in the early stages of plot development but the premise is super interesting!! basically khun takes bam’s place in the bubble with rachel, during the administrator’s test on the 2nd floor. i’m excited to see where this story goes :D

special mentions for “bam climbs the tower” remix concept fics that you might like to check out (this is for you dango, since you said you like togverse canon divergence :D)

Moonlight by Shadow_to_rant (ongoing, khun meets bam in cave instead of rachel)

Timeless Existence by Jazebeth (Barrattiel) (ongoing, time travel au series)

Second Chance by Shadow_to_rant (ongoing, time travel au)

Never Let You Go by eternus (ongoing, time travel au)

Il Principe by euludey (ongoing, bam with different backstory/origins)

Night Never Falls by TripleTurtles (ongoing, au where rachel doesn’t succeed at pushing bam off the bubble on the 2nd floor)

Child of Arlene by MoodleNoodle (ongoing, bam is adopted by jahad before canon timeline)

♡ the king and his lionheart by chuuyaya ♡

khunbam royalty au with bam as king, khun as a genius war strategist. bonus pda in front of a whole courtroom. what more could you want?? this was soooo satisfying to read, i enjoyed it a lot :D (please also check out chuuyaya’s other fics if you like khunbam aus!!)

if there's anything in this life ive been waiting for (its you) by trueaguero (ongoing)

fascinating au where everyone is outside the tower and the tower is part of history. perhaps you could call this a “post-tower au” ?

if my heart was a house by The_Winged_Warrior

very cute magical fantasy au!! khun runs a potion shop and bam is an adventurer

aus are pretty self explanatory so i’ll put the rest in a list:

you are the magic in me by silverinerivers (ongoing, hogwarts au)

hope and legacy by chuuyaya (figure skating au)

♡ jump then fall (i'll catch you) by agueros (minamis) ♡ (figure skating au, consider it a prequel to ‘hope and legacy’, this is a beautiful 13k-word love letter to figure skating <3)

of social media and turtles by chuuyaya (celeb au with social media bits)

i am the last olympian by argenteas (percy jackson au)

who else is there to love but you? by khuns (college au, very soft pining!!)

Lucky coin by bothersomepotato (ongoing, college business majors au)

Greedy Turtles by Alien_ships (ongoing, on the surface it seems like just a pet shop au but there’s a lot of care and attention paid to the characters and relationship dynamics :D)

and i will come to you at every first snow by aguerobaam (khun is a magical doll in a toy store)

the heart heist by paused (ongoing, cyberpunk au)

khun special category

(it’s all about khun here)

♡ all the blue in the world won’t do, without you by NoteInABottle ♡ (ongoing)

multichapter fic set on khun eduan’s 111th floor!! if you’re too impatient to wait for the khun family arc, you should just read this fic. it’s still ongoing as of the time i made this post but it’s already looking to have all the elements i want out of a khun family arc. it’s written so so well too!! noteinabottle is one of my favourite tog authors :D

Brothers and sisters, I'm an atomic bomb by gleek_runner (ongoing series)

a wonderfully well written series of fics focusing on interactions between members of the khun family!!!! im just a sucker for the khun kids and im always starving for khun family content

He Wonders if He Still Breathes by Chocolatesandblood

khun and ran interactions!!

putting his resolve to the test. by soundscape

khun and hachuling interactions!!

Autumn Angel by XprincessxofxspadesX

khunbam meets maria and a series of complicated and fascinating interactions occurs. this was very nice to read ;w;

#trying to stop myself from regurgitating all of the fics on ao3 here #im holding back i swear #this is such a mortifyingly long post #i think i mightve went overboard #hope this is helpful #tog #khunbam #long post #mine #i'll come back and add to this occasionally maybe

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gracefulweather · 3 years ago

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its been 84 years but im finally continuing our convo aldjdlafjwl ! sorry it took me so long ! but i hope ur doing well 💗

i haven't found the alice in borderland manga anywhere but i also haven't checked many sites, so it honestly might b !

& i completely agree, a good plot >>>> jumpscares any day

i also have a favorite manga series that is like a psychological thriller/"survival" game kind of thing, its called ARISA ! i absolutely love it and have read it so many times :") and its available to read online too !

i'll add ur recs to my list as well ! tho i've been a bit hesitant to watch us bc it looks a bit spooky

i definitely did not stay up for the comeback show either lol but i watched maybe half of the reupload and clips on twt too

but omg that would've been so fun 🥺 for halloween i just hung out w some friends and watched halloween movies and had way too many sweets :") wbu?? did u do anything fun or dress up?

i didn't watch road to kingdom but i may have gone through a phase where i watched all of tbz's performance every single day in order to function 😳😳😳 & i did watch all of kingdom ! from rtk i love: sword of victory, checkmate & quasi una fantasia. from kingdom i love: the red wedding & the stealer epic ver. wbu?? did u watch rtk or kingdom? and which performances do u like the best?

i broke...and ordered the storybook ver :") i saw all of the scans and i just needed one 😭

but overall ! thoughts on maverick???

ohhh i see 👀 ! but tbz is really just... taking all of my energy too (in a good way) lol

omg NO WAY I ORDERED THE STORYBOOK VER TOO

anyways dw about it!! i've been staying busy with a bunch of incoming fic deadlines HAHA but time really flies??? almost 2022 😭 i hope school/work are going well for u!! oh and ur new smau too that's exciting 🤩 (i'm still very curious as to what happens in ur ateez smau if u ever decide to continue that tho!!)

wait for alice in borderland does this site work? i clicked the last chapter to see if it's complete and uhHHH might've seen a spoiler OOPS LMAO i'll probably wait for s2 of the show to come out first tho. but arisa sounds so good??? the concept of impersonating a twin is already interesting omg ok i'll dive into this after my deadlines!! and yeah i agree, us was definitely spooky, not in so much in a horror way but it kinda just lingers in ur mind LOL

omg i ended up staying up for the mv alkdfjk but tbz really had so much content this time that i can barely keep up, like dnd and timeout? plus the comeback stuff :') how do u survive as a multi?? but ur halloween sounds like it was fun!! i watched some movies but really just did nothing LMAOO

aggressively watching their performances is... relatable tho... each time u watch it there's probably something different to notice anyway AHAHA :') i watched kingdom first but then went back and watched rtk right after!! really liked checkmate, quasi una fantasia, and reveal catching fire for rtk (though the reveal mama version is still my fav 🥺), and atz's from the wonderland and btob's blue moon for kingdom!! excited to see what they do for this year's award shows 😍

OKAY SO I ORDERED THE ALBUM omg it's my first album in all my 10 years of kpop adlkfj. the pics are just so cute 🥺 i liked all three songs, wbu?! the maverick mv was hella cool but kinda wish they did a little more with it? if they had more time i guess BUT ANYWAY i've been mindlessly looping it for the past while :') the prechorus and bridge have my heart but i do love sunwoo's rap at the beginning 😍 did u see their stage outfits tho!! everyone looked so good 😭

#em <3 #ask

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buoyantsaturn · 4 years ago

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how do you plan your fics? i could really use a good outline format for mine lol.

so first things first!! this probably wont make a lot of sense lmao and my planning process is different with basically every fic! ive got some stuff that doesnt really change (as long as i actually plan the fic before i write it) but im still developing my process!! basically i do whatever i think will work best for me at the time

what i try to do when i plan / outline fics is to just make it as Easy as Possible for me to just crank that fic out when i get a chance to actually write it. its literally like word vomit and then i go through and make things look nice enough that other people can read it and comprehend what i was trying to say

so like. lets say that im gonna write a fic where nico makes french toast for will. that’s the whole idea. so then i need to map out the chain of events, the action, and the dialogue. i don’t always stick to this exact chain that i wrote out, bc sometimes i’ll think of a funnier joke, or the dialogue will branch out and turn a 5 sentence conversation into a 2 page argument. but i try to be as thorough as possible so that i dont Really have to do any actual Thinking while writing. so my planning ends up looking something like this:

nicos gonna make french toast for will so first he needs to go to the store and hes gonna get eggs milk bread cinnamon and sugar, so he goes to the store and buys those things and on his way home he runs into percy who invites nico out with him and annabeth tomorrow but nicos like “nah sorry im surprising will with breakfast in bed but maybe another time” and they say goodbye and nico goes home

and now that i have something planned out (whether or not its good only kind of matters in that stage) i now have to put minimal brain power into just. putting it into real actual sentences that make sense for to other people when they read. so the planning turns into something like this:

Nico wanted to surprise Will with breakfast in bed. He knew that Will’s favorite breakfast was French toast, though after checking the cabinets, Nico realized that they didn’t have any of the ingredients. He went to the store, picking up milk, eggs, bread, cinnamon, sugar, and a few other things that he knew they were running low on, and started to head back home.

When he turned a corner, he was nearly knocked off his feet by Percy, who greeted Nico with an excited, “Hey!” He helped Nico right himself and continued, “I was just about to call you! Annabeth wanted to know if you and Will wanted to go out for breakfast tomorrow.”

Nico shook his head. “Thanks, but no. I’m gonna surprise Will with breakfast in bed tomorrow. Maybe another time?”

so yeah uh. i mean that would be a very boring fic lmao but thats just what i thought of off the top of my head. i end up with full google docs that are just pages on end of run-on sentences, but that means that I can just pull up a google doc at random and start working, as long as the motivation is there

thanks for asking, and i hope this helps!! and uh. i hope it makes literally any sense at all!

#ask #anonymous #long post #writing tips #i really dont have a format im sorry i just ramble onto a page and hope that my brain can understand it when i come back to it later

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evansfm · 3 years ago

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𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛 –– 𝐞𝐯𝐚𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐲 .

every morning evan woke up to a london sky that refused to let the sun in ; summer was drier than spring , but the clouds seemed to linger year round . . . not that she minded . she had , after all , grown up in county dublin , where things were always a bit damp . still , the lack of COLOR could be draining . . . so she searched for it in unexpected places , creating little pockets of color for herself in a rather grayscale world . golden lights strung on her balcony , isla’s bright red hair and matching smile , an array of bright letters boasting NME lining a wall –– covers from past decades , a rainbow rubik’s cube next to her keyboard , two framed photographs perched on her desk . the first seemed like forever ago , a beaming eloise with a twin on either side ; beck on the left , evan on the right , both planting kisses on her cheek one valentine’s day years and years ago . the second was more recent , backstage at a show in galway ; kieran sat in his chair with his fingers intertwined with evan’s as she draped her arms over his shoulders from behind , chin resting on top of his curls and a smile that looked SOFT compared to the goofy one ruairi wore , looming behind her with his chin on her head . she felt warmth every time she looked at them , but there was always a tug in her stomach . . . the undeniable feeling of something missing . she found her little pockets of color , but they still seemed muted without the people she loved –– the PERSON she loved .

their schedules had begun to clash –– and evan hated the way she was beginning to get used to the dull ache of his absence . distance had been a part of their relationship for months , but the time zones were killing her . they couldn’t always make time for hours wasted away on facetime ; she couldn’t always fall asleep to the sound of his voice on the other end of the line . they were both where they were supposed to be , chasing their dreams together , separately . . . but evan was beginning to wonder if the path she was on –– the desk , the deadlines , the distance –– was actually what she WANTED . there was a lack of creative control at nme ; she was a part of a greater whole , confined to a desk when she wasn’t out in the field . she felt restless . . . bored , almost . and with her most recent deadline met and a job of her own –– evan connely , sans nme –– waiting at the end of the week , she was distracted .

“ WHAT are you doing ? ” isla popped up behind her , coming out of nowhere to look over her shoulder .

“ jesus , ” evan startled , nearly dropping the plastic puzzle in her hand , “ where t’e fuck did you come from ? ”

“ charlotte’s office . answer my question . ”

“ playing wit’ a toy , ” she held up the half solved rubik’s cube , then let out an audible sigh as isla looked unimpressed , then jutted her chin towards the computer screen , “ trying to put together a mood board for t’is gig i’ve got wit’ saint valentine on friday . ”

perfectly shaped auburn brows raised , “ we got saint valentine ? ”

“ no , ” evan’s lips lifted into the faintest smirk , “ i got saint valentine . ”

“ you’re bloody joking . shut UP , ” isla gasped , rounding to her side of the table desk , just to roll her chair around , “ and you didn’t fucking tell me ? ”

“ no , because you couldn’t keep a secret if you tried .”

“ well that’s because it shouldn’t be a fucking secret , ev . this is fantastic , ” hazel eyes widened with excitement , “ so you’re shooting them for –– . . . ”

“ t’ey weren’t too explicit about it . i know for certain i’m covering bot’ shows at t’e o2 , documenting t’e whole thing from t’e moment they get there , ” evan huffed a curl away from her face , nodding to the screen , “ and t’en a shoot on site at t’e venue . so i’ve got to work wit’ what i’ve got . i’ve got ONE chance here , and nicky haven scares t’e absolute fuck out’a me , so i can’t blow it . ”

“ nicky haven scares EVERYONE . it’s part of his charm , ” isla leaned in , making herself perfectly comfortable in evan’s space as she took the mouse and began clicking through different ideas opened on photoshop , “ let’s see what you’ve got so far –– . . . ”

“ isla , it’s not a big deal . really i shouldn’t even be working on t’is HERE , right now . it’s not exactly nme related stuff , you kn–– ”

“ i TOLD you she was here today , ” a girl called sophie , who manned nme’s front desk in the mornings , materialized on the other side of evan’s desk . a junior writer , andrew , was hot on her heels .

“ soph , now really probably isn’t the best time and it really isn’t your busi–– ”

“ someone’s got to show her , ” sophie was , admittedly , obnoxious . and coming from EVAN , that was a feat .

“ show WHAT to WHO ? ” isla’s voice changed in tone , taking on a hint of authority as she looked at andrew , “ aren’t you meant to be doing some social media research right now ? ”

“ i WAS , but –– ”

“ but we’ve found something that evan HAS to see , ” sophie . again .

“ we ? ”

“ ME ? ” evan said in tandem with isla , brows lifting as she clicked the final piece into place on the cube . she glanced over at isla and felt a strange twist in her stomach when she saw the redhead had gone rigid .

“ is this about –– ”

“ rebecca stringer , ” andrew nodded solemnly , as though evan was supposed to know who the hell THAT was .

“ better known as BEX , ” sophie added .

it was evan’s turn to go rigid . her back straightened , and it felt like ice had just been shot through her veins . truth be told , she was more worried about conflicting schedules lately . . . not the way bex sing-songed a shortened version of kieran’s name . . . or the way she answered his phone and simply couldn’t remember who evan was . . . or the way she’d made sure evan could hear her promise to personally deliver kieran to his hotel room that first night in los angeles . it wasn’t exactly PLEASANT being reminded of the instinct that she’d shut down , intuition telling her something wasn’t quite right there . her brows pinched together as the rubik’s cube slid from one hand to the other and back . she glanced over at isla with a prompting look .

“ we’re . . . doing a piece about nepotism babies in the industry , and she’s a PERFECT example of one so i was having andrew look into the way she interacts with fans and her socials and what not . she’s one of like TEN people we’re looking into , ” she explained with an apologetic look . it was then that she turned a sharp eye to andrew and sophie , “ don’t know what THAT has to do with evan , though . ”

“ see for yourself . ”

“ SOPHIE . ”

“ what ? it probably isn’t even new information for her , ” she shrugged , reaching over two monitors to hand evan a phone . twitter was opened to a profile with bex’s beaming face in the icon , but the handle wasn’t hers . she gave the pair of them a skeptical look before glancing over at isla who only offered a half - hearted shrug . it didn’t take long to see what , exactly , sophie had been talking about , a slew of tweets and retweets .

bexupdates : bex & kieran pulled up to the venue together . . . and then left at the same time . why are they lowkey so cute annathefound : not bex wearing a baby tee version of the found’s merch . . . stanning her boyfriend just like the rest of us

ruairidailyposts : ok wait are evan & kieran even dating anymore bc i could be down with a bex & kieran moment cheerupbailey : @ruairidailyposts you know two people can have a relationship without posting about it right ??? they’re in separate countries rn lol

babybexxx : i just think that bex & kieran walsh as a power couple .

bxhq : no offense but bex is simply so much better for him than some rando from ireland like what thefoundupdates : @bxhq babes they LITERALLY grew up together ????

totallyconan : be honest do u guys think the reason evan isn’t on tour with them is bc they’re not together anymore like she literally never misses shows

adamfitzupdates : why are y’all so obsessed with a relationship that doesn’t concern you ??? chill bexlevitates : @adamfitzupdates bc it’s weird that evan knew him for so long and only started dating him AFTER the found started to get big like that’s shady

bexupdates : find someone who looks at u the way bex looks at kieran on stage wtf did y’all see that

newruleshq : no waaaay this man has a gf when he and bex look so good next to each other LMAO

thefoundupdates : according to the girl who wrote the article kieran literally WALKED OUT on the interview ??? rockstar behavior but also hope he’s ok

evan could’ve kept scrolling for hours as her heart rate began to rise and rise . the crease between her brows deepened , and she reminded herself of everything she knew to be true . kieran LOVED her . twitter was a BRUTAL place . it was as though the worst parts of her subconscious had come to life in 280 characters or less . her head began to swim as her heart sank into her stomach .

“ what does t’is –– . . . ” her voice cracked , and she cleared her throat , finally looking up from the phone screen , “ why , exactly , are you showing me this ? ”

sophie looked as though she was shocked by evan’s question , “ because i’ve dated musicians . . . and like HALF of those are in bex’s likes . which are public , by the way . just doesn’t seem subtle to me . ”

“ are you trying to insinuate something here , sophie ? ” her tone shifted , irritated as she handed the phone back .

“ like i said , i’ve dated guys in bands , too , and –– ”

“ enough , ” isla snapped , “ you’re sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong . BOTH of you should be off doing your jobs right now , so , run along . ”

both of them scurried off without a word .

evan was still for a moment , but her fingertips were itching for the keyboard . she was no stranger to things like this , unkind words from strangers who didn’t LOVE the idea of her –– despite not knowing her . the good outweighed the bad on the internet , but the voices who didn’t like her were always the loudest . even BEFORE she and kieran had gone public with their relationship . . . even before they were ever in a relationship at all . over time , she’d learned to tune it out and focus on the kindness that flooded her comment sections and mentions . . . but every now and again something slipped through the cracks . . . and when they did , she absorbed them like a blow to the abdomen . they settled into her memory and cemented themselves there , tucked away until they found the perfect moment to make her self conscious . like the fan who had commented on the shape of her body before and after going to uni . . . and another from galway who made it their business to let everyone know she’d slept around while living there . . . and every time someone said she wasn’t good enough for kieran or any of them . that she had bad intentions , leeching onto the boys for fame . that her career was based SOLELY on the four of them .

if she caved and kept scrolling , she’d commit it all to memory . . . everything that made her intuition about bex STRONGER .

instead , she launched forward and snatched the rubik’s cube back up , immediately distorting its perfect faces and mixing it up again . it was good to keep your hands busy , she knew , when your mind began to run away .

the worst of it wasn’t even TRULY comments about their relationship . . . those hurt , but they didn’t sting quite as bad as real - time updates about kieran and bex showing up or leaving venues together . she dulled the pain by reminding herself that THREE other boys were never too far behind . that kieran would never . . . COULD never . . .

but then again , there was the tweet that weighed heaviest in her mind . kieran walked out in the middle of an interview , and he hadn’t told her . something rattled him to the point of his version of an outburst , and he hadn’t told her . that seemed like something he would have told her . . . it seemed important enough , she thought to herself , right ? RIGHT ?

her throat felt tight , and she kept running the tweets she’d read over in her mind . there was a deep furrow in her brow as she looked down at her hands , still vehemently mixing up the toy . something felt off kilter . . . but she couldn’t pin down which hurt more : the slew of tweets from people pretending to know what went on in her relationship . . . or the thought of kieran doing something as rash as storming out of an interview –– and then not telling her .

“ i didn’t know about t’e interview bit , ” she said quietly , eyes still trained on the colorful cube . she was certain her face was the opposite , color drained .

“ evan –– . . . ”

“ it’s fine , ” she said firmly , “ it’s probably not true . just like t’e rest of it isn’t true . ”

her voice sounded distant . . . and she wasn’t sure if she was trying to convince isla or HERSELF . clearing her throat again , she set the toy back down on her desk and scooted towards the computer .

“ i’ve got work to do , ” she said quietly , getting back to the monitor . though all she wanted to do was go home . how many more people thought that she wasn’t GOOD ENOUGH for kieran ? how many people thought someone like bex was a better fit ? how long would it take for the suggestion to become potent enough to make the people who KNEW them question it as well ? and if kieran had walked out of an interview , WHY hadn’t he told her ?

she glanced down at her own phone screen , hoping that maybe she’d missed a text or a call . . . but all she got was nothing . nothing but the words she’d seen written down , now cemented in her mind : bex is simply so much better for him . . . because SHE was there , wrapped up in the same world he was in . she was accessible . immediate . beautiful .

and evan was stuck in london with nothing but time to wonder .

#idk what to taaaag it

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purplesurveys · 4 years ago

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1169

Do you take lessons for anything? No. I’ve done so in the past, but not at the moment.

Has something really heavy ever fallen on you? Other than siblings or cousins from when we played together as kids, I don’t think so.

If you wear makeup, what colors do you usually wear? I never wear makeup but whenever my friends have used my face as a practice stage (lol) they’ve usually just used natural or nude-ish colors, which I find look okay on me.

Does your shower have curtains or a glass door/wall? It has a sliding door. I’m not sure what material it’s made out of, but I can tell you it’s at least not glass.

If you have more than one pet, do they ever get jealous of each other? Cooper does tend to bark and/or whine when he sees me giving more attention to Kimi, but not always. Kimi couldn’t give less of a crap, but this is also because he is 13.

Is there a room in your house that you don’t like going in? I used to not like being inside my bedroom, especially after the breakup. For a long time it was a place I only associated with crying and breakdowns, so when I was doing the arduous task of starting over I haaaaated staying there because it only hurled me right back to square one. But I’m happy to say that I eventually got better, had enough strength to change the narrative for my room, and now I like being here again :)

Do you remember the last question you were asked? What did you answer? My mom just asked me to watch Cooper because he was having the zoomies.

Besides salt and butter, do you put anything on your popcorn? Not a big fan of popcorn but if I had to pick a topping, I’d go with cheddar cheese.

Are you lonely? I’ll feel it sometimes, but it only lasts for a moment or so.

What’s your favorite magazine to read? Wow I haven’t read a magazine in years.

Do you like pineapple? I hate it. In all forms. The pizza debate doesn’t even matter to me lmao, I just think pineapple downright sucks.

Have you ever seen fireflies? They used to be common in our village when we first moved in, back when there were only like 3 houses in the neighborhood (we were one of the first to move in here). As more houses were built and the place got more occupied the fireflies gradually lessened until they disappeared altogether.

Have you ever trespassed? I very vividly remember taking multiple trips to the school cemetery back in grade school (I went to Catholic school and ours had a cemetery below our chapel, where all our deceased nuns were housed...I really shouldn’t be talking about this at 10 PM...). I am 100% sure that was an off-limits area but we went there anyway because we were a naughty group of kids and because no one was guarding the area.

Do you tell your parents where you are going? Yeah; if I live with them, they have the right to know. < Ooh, I’ve never even thought about it this way before but this is a very good point. I’ll second this, haha.

Do you agree with the notion that all people were created equal? Yes.

Do you raise your hand or participate in class? God never. I hid as much as I can and only recited if I was called on purpose.

Do you like visiting the mall? Why or why not? I like the malls that we have. But then again, malls are the only decent public spaces we have - we don’t have public libraries, parks, playgrounds, etc. – so it’s not like I have a choice on where I can go if I want to go out.

Have you ever purposely hurt an animal? Yeah I kill bugs when I see them. Soz, I have no feelings for them whatsoever.

Would you ever see a therapist? I planned to finally do this last year but it just fell through haha and eventually I was able to care for myself too. Now that I’m doing a lot better for the most part, I feel like I’d have no clue what to talk about once faced with one.

Are you afraid of heights? Only if I had to jump all the way down. But if I ever found myself staying at an extreme height simply to enjoy the view, or if I was ever in one of those towers where the top floor’s floor is made out of glass, I think I would enjoy that.

Are you afraid of the dark? I always say I’m usually not afraid of the dark, and will only be if I was in a situation that was intended to scare me. I would definitely be afraid of the dark if I was in like an abandoned cave or a haunted house, but I would also find the darkness in my room comforting.

Are you a jealous person? When I am it’s mostly been in a playful sense and rarely serious.

When is your birthday? April 21st.

What are you listening to right now? My very very old aircon doing its very very loud whirring thing. It’s become a running joke in the family because it is literally SO FUCKING LOUD hahahaha Have you ever been caught doing something you weren’t supposed to be doing? As a goody-goody, I can only ever do this to my mom; but yeah, she’s caught me many times.

Are you still friends with someone from kindergarten? Sure, but I’m not ~close friends with any of them. Just chummy enough to like their photos on social media once in a while or greet them happy birthday. My oldest friend was from Grade 1.

What is the most important thing to you? Being happy with myself and making sure I don’t miss out on life and opportunities.

Do you like whipped cream? I can take it or leave it.

Are you close to your mother? We get along but not close.

Are you close to your father? I’m closer to him in the sense that I would be more comfortable around him, but we’re also not physically or emotionally close.

Do you walk around bare foot when you're at home? Or do you wear socks? I am Asian hahaha what do you think?

Do you like chocolate popsicles? Sure! One would sound lovely right now, actually.

Would you ever be your school’s mascot who wears that costume? Both of the schools I’ve attended don’t have mascots.

Would you rather see the Great Wall of China or Big Ben? Great Wall for sure. Sorry but I can’t see myself getting excited over a giant clock, and I’m sure there are other lovely spots in London I’d much rather visit.

Have you ever written a poem? Always unsuccessfully. It’s never been my forte.

Would you ever be a tornado chaser? That’s a thing? Uh...no way??

What is your favorite thing to eat with bbq sauce, if you even like that stuff? Pizza. And anything, I guess. Barbecue sauce is the bomb.

Your parents tell you that this summer, you get to pick the vacation. Where do you plan to go? Covid notwithstanding and budget permitting, probably New York City.

What do you think is a good theme for a prom? I could not care less.

Have you ever had to do a class in summer school? Thankfully, never.

Do you get nervous when you go to the doctor? About what? You know, I’ve always thought going to the doctor was no sweat until I realized just how nervous I was when I had to book a telemedicine consultation once as part of my job (PR can make you do the most random, out of context things sometimes, I swear haha). I surprised even myself with the reaction I had when I found out I had to do it, and how I felt like declining the offer...I guess I was scared about the possibility of underlying health issues suddenly being unearthed. Your whole life can always get turned upside down in the blink of an eye with just one diagnosis.

Have you ever been to the rainforest? I’m pretty sure the climate I live in is called tropical rainforest, so I guess yeah.

Have you ever created a website? Not from scratch. I had always made it under an umbrella website, like Blogspot.

Ever thought about writing a book? Sure, as a kid.

Have you ever had a dream where you killed someone? No. Whenever I have dreams of that nature it’s always me or a loved one being killed, but never me doing the killing.

Do you ever make up stories in your head and wish they come true? Yes.

Which is worse: stuffy nose or runny nose? Stuffy. It sucks not being able to breathe freely.

Which is worse: Sick to your stomach or sore throat? I super hate sore throat. I already get stomachaches frequently, so even though I know how sucky it can be I feel like the discomfort would be bigger with a sore throat.

Do you think your last relationship was a disaster? The way it ended was, but it wouldn’t be fair to myself to invalidate the genuine happiness I felt when I was in it.

Have you ever solved a Rubik’s Cube? Never.

Who do you think is the easiest to talk to? Angela.

Would you consider yourself to be emo? No.

Do you have a favourite metal band or do you not like metal? Not really, no.

What is your current desktop picture? It’s just one of the provided desktop photos on my Mac.

Thick or thin blanket? Thick.

Who are your favorite bands? Paramore, Coldplay, and Against Me!

How do you mark through your word search puzzles? Depends on my mood. Sometimes I’ll strike through and sometimes I’ll go ahead and encircle the entire word altogether.

Have you ever sewn something? I’ve done embroidery...does that count?

What did you eat for dinner last night? We had breakfast for dinner, actually hahaha so my dad made an omelette, hotdogs, and tapa.

Ever been grounded? If so, for what? Continued from last night. Yes, I was caught cursing all over Twitter when I was like 11 so my parents cut off my access to all my gadgets for a year or so. Which, in retrospect, is an acceptable consequence for my actions, but we’re also talking about a time when schools were starting to view the internet as a necessity in doing homework and research. I missed out on nearly all my homework for a while, and my mom didn’t buy it when I kept telling her I needed to do my research over the internet. At the same time, she kept demanding why my grades weren’t doing so well when she was the reason they kept being pulled down...so yep, not a very fun time.

Have you seen all of the Jaws movies? No and I don’t really have the desire to. Doesn’t seem like my kind of movie.

When was the last time you played cards? (not on the computer) Maybe 2 or 3 years ago.

Have you ever drank Cherry Coke? No, I don’t drink any soda.

Have you ever had a black eye? Nope.

Have you ever eaten a bug? Not to my recollection, but I would love to try cooked crickets and whatever bug can be prepared and eaten.

Do you like pranking people? Never; the idea makes me cringe since I never know when it’s considered going too far. I’d rather watch people prank other people.

Did you ever take a cooking class in school? Yeah, but we were required to take it. We also had some baking sessions, which to me was a lot more fun. I remember having to make macarons and rainbow cake which are both right up my alley, heehee.

Do you celebrate St. Patrick’s Day? No, idk what that is. I just know people turn everything green on that day lol.

Do you use Skype? I’ve never used Skype on my own. That’s where I used to talk to my dad for video calls maybe around a decade ago, whenever he was abroad; but I never had my own account. These days I alternate among Microsoft Teams, Google Meet, or Zoom.

Have you ever participated in local magazine cover girl searches? I don’t think so, but I did join a few contests on some of those kid’s magazines we used to have...none of which I won.

Have you ever been called a skank/slut because of the way you dress? No.

Is your ex sexually attractive to you still? I haven’t seen her in 5 months, which helps...that said, I simply feel nothing. I’m neither sexually attracted nor not sexually attracted to her.

Describe the most romantic moment you’ve ever had. I can think of one but I don’t see the point in still raising it, considering where I am in life right now.

Have you ever cheated on a test? Yes, once. I hated it.

Have you ever been to couple’s counseling? Nope.

How often does your employer ask you to work overtime? A few times a week. Sometimes I’ll do it willingly as well just to get the task over with or to save myself some deliverables the next morning. I’m fine with OT-ing tbh; since I work from home, I feel like my time is a lot more flexible.

Did you often read for fun when you were a kid? I read A LOOOOOT as a kid. I was a total bookworm. < Yeah, same. You could always find me bringing a book to school and reading during breaks, even though they technically didn’t allow us to bring any non-academic book. My spark for reading died when I was around 12, same time as when my depression started to kick in, and it never really came back.

When was the last time you were scared? Someone from the media called me up yesterday VIA LANDLINE to ask a question about a press release I had sent out that day. I usually read up on the materials we have, but I honestly didn’t give a shit about that particular story and didn’t really make an effort to know more about it, so I found myself stumped when he dropped the question. I ended up stalling for a bit before I was able to stutter an answer, so that was scary, but at least he was nice. Also, I hate phone calls.

What’s your favorite song by Rihanna? KISS IT KISS IT BETTER

Can you speak binary? No, I never understood it.

Would you rather live somewhere that had hurricanes or tornadoes? I already do, at least for hurricanes. I imagine I’d be terrified of tornadoes.

Have you ever had a pet that you disliked? Nooooooo, never. I was never close to Arlee but I still did my best for her to like me, and always fed her whenever my sister would be in her dorm.

When was the last time you saw hail? Never. Doesn’t happen all that often here, and when it does it’s always in the provinces.

What is on your mind right this second: I want to spend my remaining time awake reading fanfic (I’m into them again, omg) but I also wanna finish surveys...so I’m doing my best to breeze through this so I can finally look for something to read hahahahaha.

Have you ever given a nickname to your pet(s)? Cooper is Cooperino to me. Sometimes I’ll call him Cooperino Cappuccino. Kimi is Kimchi, Kimmerl, Kimberly, The Kimster, and sometimes Lolo, which is grandpa in Filipino heheh.

When was the last time you shaved your legs? Like 3 or 4 days ago.

Do you ever try free samples at the store? Nope.

Do you like boys with long hair? Physical traits don’t matter much to me.

Do you like rootbeer? I’ve never tried it but I don’t really want to either haha. It smells weird.

What is the best fast food place, in your opinion? KFC or Taco Bell. Or Jollibee.

Do you have faith in yourself? Starting to.

#survey #surveys

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