#except with my membership thing its kinda free

[greatwesternway]

How are you liking Chicago? :)

I love it so far. It's wonderful here.

Ray is here, obviously, so I get to move to a cool new place with the benefit of my bestie being here to show me everything I got comin' to me.

There is public transit at all. I was able to get rid of my car.

People are really nice here. Like, strangely so. They say that about Texas 'cause we'll greet our neighbors when we see them in the hall and shit, but it's very different in tone here (and my neighbors in my building greet me in the hall here too so).

Everyone here has been very chill and personable. I expect cashiers at stores to be brusque and they are not (except at Mariano's but, like, I geddit). Even when my transaction is difficult and I'd expect to get indifference for being annoying, they are still polite and friendly. I am still reeling from my trip to the fucking DMV where everyone was acting like they were happy to be there and I was in and out of there in less than an hour. They were smiling. At their jobs. At the DMV. It's like people aren't so demoralized by their lives here.

And really, that's gotta be it because there's a lot under the hood going for Chicago. Just better, more humane politics in general and community-oriented attitudes. It's cool to see the governor mentioned in something and know it's probably not going to be embarrassing at best and a human rights violation at worst. Public investment and ownership everywhere you look. Shit's cash.

Better weather too. It was 70 here the other day and 107 back in Texas. I know its gonna get cold; truth told, I'm cold already. Thus far, it's been temperate.

They just put these new LED lights on the underside of the L tracks on Wabash to make the street less dark. It's kinda like a little bit of Dallas. I hope they do more like that 'cause that's my favorite thing about Dallas. And its part of a broader thing about Chicago where they'll just be puttin' public art on things just for the sake of making stuff look more interesting. Like, "yeah, you could have this, but what if it also was a sculpture?" There's a parking garage here with one side that's just made of "flappers" that move when the wind blows. Why? 'Cause it looks cool. Sometimes we do that in Texas, but its few and far between, whereas Chicago seems to ask this question about almost anything it does.

People actually hang out on their balconies here. We have balconies in Texas, but you almost never see anyone actually out there. The other day, I was looking out my window and I see fuckin' bubbles blowing around. There was a guy a floor up from me, on his balcony, blowing bubbles. People just out here enjoying themselves. Incredible.

I can walk to one of the world's best art museums. I can walk to the grocery store. I have to take trains to see more trains, but that is a delight and privilege.

Me and Ray got quid pro quo memberships at our favorite museums so we can go as often as we want (or need to) with free admission.

The only thing I really miss is HEB.

So yeah, Chicago is rad, highly recommend.

[thesoundofsnowfallingfromeaves]

honestly having a purpose for which i wanna get fit is such a healthy motivator to work out for me, I am so glad I am doing this hike in summer! Before, even when I tried not to, working out always had the 'i wanna change my body shape' undertone for me, because there wasn't really much else to it? yeah bouldering I mostly just do for fun because its also usually with coworkers and it has a real achievement element to it (climbing progressively harder routes and you get to finish many of them in one session which feels great), but everything else was kinda that, even cycling to work when i did it, which is bonkers, cause its mostly also just transportation. But now I am training for my big adventure and the body stuff is so much less on my mind. Its more like "this will help me climb the big hills in 7 months hell yeah!". I feel like I hacked the system.

[pancakeke]

So I have a question. I have the ✨deluxe✨ membership on the PSN and all the Yakuza games are free to download (except Yakuza 6). There’s Yakuza Kiwami and the others that are numbered. But like idk which one to play first like what’s the order do I play Kiwami first or Yakuza 0… lmfao pls help m e

kiwami and kiwami 2 first, then Y0, and numerical from there. Y0 is a prequel so people may argue that you should play chronologically starting with that one, but that's what I did and it made me miss references in Y0 because I wasn't super familiar with certain characters yet.

also playing Kiwami 2 -> Y0 -> Y3 will give you less whiplash from the engine change than going from Kiwami 2 -> Y3 lol. Kiwami 2 is a remake of Y2 that uses the newer dragon engine (no load screens to enter buildings and destructible environments!) but Y3 is only a remaster of the old version. you can really feel its age. honestly jumping into Y3 after Kiwami 2 kinda ruined my experience of Y3 cause I was so bummed at the huge gameplay downgrade.

also warning that Y3 was ridiculously easy for me on normal. I was worried it would be janky and cheap but it was absolutely not. unless you really struggle with the earlier games, play on hard. I was literally putting my controller down in fights + eating tons of worms to lose health so I could eat restaurant items (you can NOT eat on full health in this game, plus you can only eat 1 menu item at a time).

one more about Y3: in chapter 9 do not get into the car that is sent to pick you up if you are in a hurry to do anything irl. it throws you into a 28 minute long cutscene followed by a drawn out non-boss fight no opportunity to save and quit until both those things are over. no exaggeration on that time, I just looked it up to get a number 🙃

[irvinenewshq]

Why the NTEU ought to cease taking political positions

Unions have a proper to specific political views on international issues. However because the union of opinion-havers, the NTEU must be an exception. (Picture: Zennie/Personal Media) Everybody is aware of that Monty Python’s Lifetime of Brian is actually concerning the British left within the late Seventies (“Peoples Entrance of Judaea”https://www.crikey.com.au/”splitters!”https://www.crikey.com.au/”What have the Romans ever achieved for us?”), however few realise that Monty Python and the Holy Grail is concerning the British left within the early Seventies — and the failure of the wave of strikes on the time to roll on right into a revolutionary scenario. Within the ultimate scene, as Arthur is prancing about, the entire historical past is became cosplay when a cop automobile roars into the scene and thug Met cops bounce out and shut the entire movie down, with a hand going over the digital camera and an “alright, that is sufficient”. That is just about how I really feel concerning the NTEU, typically. The tertiary lecturers union does very important work, beneath robust situations, on the very actual matter of what kind of lives data employees of a sure kind may have: are folks going to be provided respectable jobs, with safety, or is their love of a self-discipline and scholarship going to be exploited to squeeze each final signifier out of them?  And but, the political cosplay of historic battles, in a deadly new surroundings, by no means absolutely goes away. The union’s management and energetic membership are to this point to the left that its previous guard — accused (unfairly in my opinion) of complacency and siding with the college institution — are a mixture of ex-Trotskyists and normal leftists. Had been they to show up for an SDA election, they’d kinda simply be arrested or one thing, immediately. Their opponents within the latest elections, who’ve urged that informal lecturers are getting a uncooked serve from the offers made within the COVID interval, are a mixture of new Trots, leftists and different way of life lovers. Learn extra concerning the NTEU’s decision on Palestine and Israel. Already a subscriber? Log in to maintain studying. Or, register your e mail tackle for a FREE 21-day trial. Originally published at Irvine News HQ

[justmickeyfornow]

Ok so... I'm not rich but I'm not poor either. I have a comfortable life. Always had food on my plate, etc. I'm gay and it's a "secret" (my family doesn't know) And today, I woke up depressed. Almost 2 years ago someone broke my heart when they dumped me and it made me go into a depression spiral that just got me crazy and made me want to kill myself. Every now and then I think of them, check their social media etc and this morning I woke up feeling alone and lonely. And I just don't know :(

Not sure if I’m the best person to give advice out there, but I guess I could give it a try :)

Here’s what mostly works for me. The magic fix to all of this is just to fill your time. It worked for me and maybe it’ll work for you too. Don’t let yourself have the privilege of too much free time. Because that's your biggest enemy. The more free time you have, the more you’ll be thinking and overthinking shit. You’re either studying or you have a job right? Well the rest of those hours in the day try to fill them. Work on a project. Go to the gym. Hang out with some people. Read a book. Read Fanfiction!! Learn chess. Learn how to code (this is what I’m trying to do lately. So far, it’s fun! You should try it).

Actually the gym thing might be one of the most things that was able to keep my mind off of all the scary stuff. It’s the reason I started going to begin with. I had a lot on my mind, I was going a bit crazy and I hated sitting there and thinking about it at home. So I went for a jog and it took my mind off of it a bit. Next thing I knew, I was signing for a gym membership and going everyday ever since. It’s a huge stress reliever. Even if you’re not the type to go, do it anyway. I even pushed myself so far that I got one of those expensive memberships (That I really really couldn’t afford) just so that I would guilt myself into going everyday. And so far, I haven’t thought about that incident that shall not be talked about (scary harry potter style voice) in a long while (crap, I just thought about it now.....).

Do something that you’re good at and that you love. You’re good at drawing? Go fucking draw your heart out! Writing? Write stories until the end of time. Dancing? Singing? Playing a musical instrument? Whatever it is, do it. And there’s no such thing as “I’m not really good at anything”. So I better not hear you saying that. There’s always something that you’re really good at. Not perfect. Just good. Because if you’re just good at something, then eventually you’ll want to make it better and better until you get as close to perfect as possible. I had a friend once that lived her whole life with the notion that she wasn’t good at anything. She’s 23 and last year me and her found out - accidentally - that she can do math in her head in lightning speed. I randomly asked her what’s 12x32 and she did it in her head in less than two minutes, no pen no paper. And she was just as surprised as I was. She apparently thought everybody could do that (God knows I can’t!). So find something you’re good at and fill your time with it. I always complain about writing for Paranoia Incarnated, but the truth is it takes my mind off of the billion things that I’d rather not think about.

Social media. There's absolutely nothing wrong with cutting off from social media. Sit down and really think about it: When you browse through a certain social media account/page/thingy (I don’t even know what’s it called? I’m not really good at that stuff), what do you normally feel? Is it depression? Numbness? Endless scrolling of nothing? Jealousy? Then just delete it. It's so easy to delete an account its crazy that not more people do it. If you feel happy. You read things that make you smile. You rant about characters you like. Squeal at drawings someone drew. Smile at a cat picture. Then keep it.

As for being tempted to check up on that person that hurt you. Now, I personally believe in the opposite of Exposure therapy (concealment therapy?). If something bothers me or tends to stir up negative feelings in me, then I just make it disappear as best as I can. If it's a real person, I avoid them. If it's someone online then I block them. If it's someone I'm following, then I just unfollow them. If it's a situation, then I make sure I’m never put in a similar situation again. Yes, I know, not really a healthy thing to do. But, again, I’m a crazy person and healthy is not really something I’m very good at. So, if you really wanna go down my slippery slope, then just either unfollow or block the URL that takes you to her page. It’ll give you some peace of mind. Whenever you’re tempted to check up on her, then just get up and do something else. Open up Paranoia Incarnated and read the fluffy happy moments! There’s an idea! (Suggestions from PI? The pancakes for dinner conversation. Two penguins getting married at the zoo. Kara taking a nap for the first time in Lena’s office which is also the first time she tells Lena she’s beautiful. Leia’s chapter! The famous scotch cookies (I love this chapter!) and last but definitely not least because I was laughing my ass off while writing it: Lena trying to tap her head and rub her stomach and failing miserably!)

Now, let’s talk music. Choose one song that calms you down. Think of one song or one singer that every time you hear, you feel your mind drift from what you were doing just to properly listen to that song. Choose one singer whose voice can literally stop you from having a panic attack. Now, convince yourself that once you hear that song/singer that you'll be alright. I swear to God it works. If it didn't work for me I wouldn't recommend it. But it works for me.

Eden is that singer for me. I have a few songs for him that if I feel like I'm having an anxiety attack or any sort of scary nervous breakdown, I can put on my headphones and just play one of his songs and it’s like I could breathe again. If you’re interested in Eden, let me know and I’ll recommend which songs you should listen to first.

(Also, here’s a link to the Paranoia Incarnated Spotify playlist. There’re some songs on there that might help too.)

Speaking of music, your ask actually reminded me of this song that I adore. Put some headphones, close your eyes and listen to it. I have a feeling it might help ya out!

As for suicide. The only reason you're thinking about it is because you're keeping it as an option. I'm a practical person. I like to keep things practical. And simply not having suicide as an option can change your whole mindset.

Think of it like a bridge with water underneath it that you have to cross. This bridge is long and old and rusty and just slowly falling apart. But you have to get across no matter what. The water underneath is calm so it’s possible to swim there but it would still be hard. Both options are difficult but still both are possible. The third option is simple. Easy. You could just fly to the other side. Except you can’t. Because it’s impossible. It’s not an option. So you don’t think about it when you’re faced with the situation of crossing the bridge. Therefore you’re left with the other two options: cross the bridge on foot, even though you might fall down and get hurt. Or swim there, even though it would be extremely tiring and exhausting and time consuming and just plain difficult. But in the end you don’t have the option of flying.

Same goes with suicide. Don’t keep it as an option in your life, and you won’t think of it. Pretend that it’s impossible to suicide. Pretend that it just doesn’t exist. You do that, and I guarantee you won’t think about it as much.

There's no such thing as a permanent problem. Keep that in mind. Whatever you're feelings are towards this girl now, chances are they're gonna change in a couple of years.

I know you don't wanna hear this, but the truth is you're probably gonna go through so much worse to a point that this problem would seem like a walk in the park. And if you've really grown, you wouldn't think of suicide then either. Because you'd realize that you got over that first problem that once upon a time seemed like the worst thing you could go through. You actually got over it. You survived it. And you'll smile and think that you'll get over this too.

There’s also nothing wrong with feeling lonely. I wish I had a fix for you, but I still haven’t figured that one out yet. I tend to just ignore it (I’m starting to realize I live life by simply ignoring many many things. Maybe not the healthiest thing in the world....) As soon as I feel myself drowning in that feeling I simply get up. Do something. Anything. Go do the dishes. Hell, I sometimes get down and do 20 pushups to get my mind off of it (That usually works, seeing that once I reach 12 pushups I’m practically dead). Actually the pushups thing also acts as a sort of response treatment. Your mind will slowly realize that everytime it feels negative feelings you start torturing it with pushups and it stops pushing negative feelings towards you. Does that make any sense? I feel like that might not be the healthiest option. Maybe consult an expert? I dunno. I sometimes do it and it helps me, but I’m just a crazy person so I what do I know.

Other random things that I’ve done that were extremely helpful in changing my mindset:

1. Drink fruit water! Yup! I know it sounds ridiculous, but it kinda works. Grab one of those big water bottles that you take with you to the gym. Cut up a lemon (I prefer half a lemon), an orange, a cucumber, and some mint. Stuff them in there and fill it with water. It actually tastes pretty good. And it washes away the toxins in your body.

2. Dark chocolate! Not only is it healthy, but it releases dopamine (the little beautiful trigger in your brain that makes you happy) and increases your serotonin levels (the little beautiful trigger in your brain that makes you calm).

3. DRINK TEA!! I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO EXPLAIN HOW MUCH HAPPIER IT MAKES YOU. IT’S PERFECT. IT’S GORGEOUS. IT’S TASTY. IT’S JUST..... *SIGH*

4. Buy a bulletin board. Put it up in your room and go crazy with it. Pin up your goals. Projects. Your resolutions. Whatever it is. Make sure it’s on that board so you could see it every single day.

5. Smile a lot.

I dunno if any of this is helpful. But most of this stuff worked for me so I’m hoping it’ll work for you. Just read a lot of fanfiction, spice up your life with some smutty ones too and you’ll soon forget about that girl.

[writingonjorvik]

Can We Discuss Why Reducing the Price Will Help the Game?

Don’t get me wrong. I get there is a business to funding SSO. The whole thing must cost millions to produce, in euros and in USD. I don’t want anyone to take a pay cut to get SSO out. And it’s not like I stand to gain any discounts from saying this, I got Lifetime for $50 when it was still the annual membership price. However, with the current pricing scale, the dev team isn’t really keeping up with their competition. That’s bad for the game overall, and if the devs can’t turn a profit in a year then there’s no game. As such, let’s discuss.

I will acknowledge a few things. One, the dev team keeps the lights on and they are expanding the company. I am not one to say that the game is failing. But it’s also not making a profit. It is increasing its size enough to expand, but it’s also keeping its gains about equal to its losses. That’s not bad, that’s most indie companies, so this is a plus overall. Two, SSO’s membership does reward members with Star Coins each week which is, complicated. Because while that is a service that may take away from sales over all on their micro-transaction front, there’s also no production cost on a Star Coin. There’s no work lost on that service as it’s an entirely computer generated good, no employee involved. But it is an overall plus for the company.

That said, some of SSO’s prices are way out of line when compared to their competition. To start, let’s look at a few other popular MMOs. Here is a list of some of the most popular MMOs and their membership prices. SSO’s monthly payments are about average, if not a little lower, with most MMOs at $8.50, but the issue with monthly payments is convincing people to keep paying. Buy-to-play and one time purchases are much more appealing model to most players because it’s the most financially responsible decision, and most MMOs with membership options have much larger free to play sections with membership just having some added benefits for show and level gain. So with SSO’s limited demo area where it’s much harder to get a sense of the game compared to the wider demo sections or completely full free versions of some MMOs, SSO might be a little harder to sink $8.50 monthly, and definitely is a hard sell for $75. Why spend that on a relatively indie game when you could sink your money on a more established MMO with about the same deals?

Now, that’s not an entirely fair comparison. SSO has a niche market it’s playing to. That’s fair. SSO is one of the few fully open world horse centric MMOs out there. Again, credit where credit is do. But again, let’s have a price comparison to some other popular horse MMOs and online games. Alicia Online, free with micro transactions to be added. Little trickier to get because of the wonky install, but free. Riding Out, in beta, but it’s only $20 and on Steam. Riding Club Championships, free. Horse Isle, both of them, free. Ostwind, $15. Any number of browser based games like Howrse, White Oak, Pony Isle, so on, all free with micro transactions. And this is all before we start getting into just horse games, to which there are numerous for cheaper one time purchases, the highest being about $30 based on age and active bidding. SSO and its franchise are about the only exceptions to this, with the old CD-ROMs being about $40 a piece on average.

No part of this is saying that SSO isn’t worth the price. To me, it always has been. But I fit the market and have the funds to afford it. I am a minority in that statistic. What I’m saying, with SSO’s competition in and out of this niche, they don’t hold a candle. Why pay SSO for what you can get basically get for free somewhere else? Sure you lose 3D graphics and some of the open world nature, but for free? Most people would settle those loses and chose the free option. In fact, most people do. Howrse is still way more popular than SSO. In particular, most parents would settle. And I know this from experience. No only can I personally not get any of my friends to try SSO because of the price, but I can see first hand these prices being more than most parents can afford. 

I work at the Boys & Girls Club of America. For those of you who don’t know, it’s an organization that provides opportunities for kids in families that aren’t doing great financially. It’s kinda like a cross between a daycare-like service and Scouts. And at my club, I’m the nerdy teacher. I know about video games. A lot of girls at my club play SSO, or played. When they found out I play too, the first thing they asked was how many horses I had. How many regions of the map I had unlocked. It was 60-ish at the time, and all. They nearly lost it when I told them I had all, at the time, six of the color changing horses and Spirit. Absolutely thrilled. But when I asked them how many they had and how far they had gotten, most of them said they had their starter and could only play for free. And that they couldn’t play anymore. Their parents couldn’t afford membership and so they gave up on the game.

Look I get pulling this statistic is kinda a low move, but I think it’s fair. Mostly because it’s not just kids at Club, and also because the families who come to Club buy other video games, cheaper video games. Kids I used to babysit had their parents say the same thing, and those families were well off. So for families of all income brackets, SSO’s prices are too high to consider when there are cheaper options. SSO has potential customers who would love to play their game, but their prices, in particular the most financially reasonable price of Lifetime, makes the game unobtainable for new fans. It gates the game off to the super fans who have the means to afford the game, and thus SSO develops its own echo chamber financially. SSO is funded by its whales. Its numbers are largely stagnant, and it’s not going to expand. The average family simply can’t afford it.

I’m not suggesting SSO wildly changes its prices. No, not at all. Mostly I’m just suggesting that the purchase of lifetime drops to $30-$50 USD, the average price of an indie game. It’s more expensive than most horse games, but it’s lower than most modern games and MMOs. It’s a nice balance between niche competition without selling SSO’s devs short. They are making a quality game, and they deserve to make money. But the devs need to be reasonable with where that price point is for most families with young kids. Further, SSO needs to have standardized payments for Star Coins. The fact that the prices are different on the Friends app compared to on the website is confusing and weird.

To compensate for lower prices, the dev team could instead offer more low priced digital goods. For one, there are dozens of hard core fans and old fans of those games who would buy digital downloads of the old CD-ROM games, since according to everything we know, SSO owns all the rights to those and they should be able to rerelease them. Not to mention that generates money for the devs instead of only online auctions holding those funds. Also, a $10 game or a $30 bundle of four is an awesome deal. It would certainly make SSO more interesting to have access to all of previous entries, and finally add a unique option to their gift store.

More seriously though, the dev team needs to change the prices on Star Coins. The prices are abusively high. I’ve said several times, but SSO’s current prices abuse people with whale tendencies, people who psychologically and biologically have the need to spend that kind of money on prestige items. I said this before with my silver fox comments, and perhaps I should have clarified it better. SSO does not have a pay to win or gambling situation, but the mentalities that come in to play when talking about whales is very, very similar to how casinos abuse people with gambling addictions. There was a Game Theory about this recently, or if you want a less nerdy source, look at Adam Ruins Everything’s episode on vacations and his comments on slot machines. Or, here’s Extra Credits on whales and this exact topic. 

To clarify the difference though, imagine a loot box system with 30 prizes in it. You can buy individual tickets for $10 and randomly get a prize, or just buy all 30 for $270. Someone with a gambling addiction would individually go through buying one or two at a time until they got the prize they wanted. Someone with whale tendencies would buy the whole pack. But both come from hormonal imbalances that give these people higher endorphin releases for doing so, and both end up spending unhealthy amounts of money in the end. SSO generates situations of the latter.

It was very easy for a lot of people on the silver fox controversy to say, “Well, I have self control, so others must too.” And I don’t want to keep dragging this up to beat a dead horse, but that’s extremely simple minded. Just saying “Adults with control over their finances make smart choices with their money, always,” but even with people who don’t have gambling addictions or whale tendencies struggle with this. You’re telling me that you’ve absolutely never splurged with your money? One tiny feel good purchase? Never ever, on anything at all? You really can’t, particularly if you bought anything from SSO. That’s not a need purchase, even if you were in your budget when you bought it. Now, your one feel good purchase could be 1 to every 100 purchases you actually need in your life. Good, that’s normal, and there’s nothing wrong with buying feel good purchases every now and then. But people with gambling addicts and with whale tendencies have a much harder time saying no to those impulses. SSO, with limited events and $30 horses, can make it a lot harder for someone who’s mind is biologically feeding them hormones to “have everything” to turn that voice off. So they sink the money, and with the prices so high, sooner or later that gets people into financial trouble trying to get everything. And SSO doesn’t encourage people to be responsible with their spending, unlike most gambling businesses who are legally required. Most video games aren’t, and that’s not SSO spearheading that problem. But that doesn’t mean they should be a part of it.

Another argument is that Star Coins are given out once a week, and that buying 100 Star Coins is just advancing a week in allowance. So why is that advance worth more than half of the membership to get it? Think about it, it’s $8.50 USD for one month of membership, again, a really fair price. But 100 Star Coins, an extra week so to speak, is $5.50 USD. How does that add up? Supposing that at minimum half of $8.50 USD is for the game itself, $4.25 USD, then the other $4.25 USD is for 400 Star Coins over that month. The next increment up for 500 Star Coins is $17. How is that a fair deal? Even supposing we give an expediting fee for skipping a week, 100 Star Coins still shouldn’t be worth more than $2. Not to mention that micro transactions work because of low prices. Why would SSO just ignore years of empirical data showing that the lower the price, the more likely people are to buy more of digital currencies? Also, how many of you would buy more Star Coins if a horse was $8-$10 USD instead of $30 USD? And more often? More for your money, and suddenly more Star Coins doesn’t sound so bad too a lot of you. And without being whales, I think a lot of you would be more eager to help support SSO financially, with a little more freedom to be able to give that kind of money.

SSO deserves to make money as a business, but the prices they currently have make the game inaccessible to most and dangerous to many. Cutting the seriously high prices for Lifetime and Star Coins would not only makes it easier for new players to join, but it would also protect people who biologically can’t really help that they tend to be whales. I know the short term of this would be a dip, but if the dev backed it up with merchandise that gamers actually wanted, like posters and games and books, or even shirts with actual SSO related content, and not all generic horse shirts, they’d probably be able to minimize those costs fairly well. Like, who would buy those sweaters from Jarlheim with the Soul Riders’ horses? Or a shirt that had a big SSO logo? Things that actually relate to the game. You could probably buy a “horse heart” shirt a dozen other places. And without going into that other topic, SSO could easily compensate loses from lowered prices by introducing merchandise that people would buy, and then have player’s friends ask what game was that shirt for. 

End of the day, I’m not a business person. I don’t know for sure if this would work. But when compared to dozens of games on the market today, maybe the other guys have some pretty good ideas too. And maybe it would help SSO to take some notes so they can start turning a profit in more years.

[glittership]

Episode #66: "Tell the Phoenix Fox, Tell the Tortoise Fruit"

Download directly here: 

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Episode 66 is a GLITTERSHIP ORIGINAL and part of the Summer 2018 issue!

Support GlitterShip by picking up your copy here: http://www.glittership.com/buy/

  Tell the Phoenix Fox, Tell the Tortoise Fruit

by Cynthia So

  On the day Sunae turned nine years old, there was no joyful feast. A monster burst from the sea that night and ate five people. The Mirayans gathered upon the shore to watch this, as they did every Appeasement. Sunae’s mother covered Sunae’s eyes, but Sunae still heard the screams. The crunch of brittle bone between teeth. The wet gulp of gluttonous throats.

Sunae prayed to the Goddess that the warrior Yomue might rise from the dead and defeat the monster yet again. No warrior came, but a hand grasped Sunae’s and squeezed. A hand as small as her own.

When it was over, Sunae’s mother murmured, “Now we will be safe for another ten years.” She removed her hands from Sunae’s eyes, and Sunae flinched from the gore before her. The older children always said that this was why Miraya’s beaches were pink, but she hadn’t been convinced until she saw the sands now drenched with fresh blood. Dark red on dusk pink.

Full transcript after the cut:

    Hello! Welcome to GlitterShip episode 66 for March 5, 2019. This is your host Keffy, and I’m super excited to share this story with you. Today we have a GlitterShip original, “Tell the Phoenix Fox, Tell the Tortoise Fruit” by Cynthia So and a poem by Chanter, “The Lamentations of Old Money.”

This episode is part of the newest GlitterShip issue, which was just released and… is very late. The “Summer 2018” issue of GlitterShip is available for purchase at glittership.com/buy and on Kindle, Nook, Kobo, and now Gumroad! If you’re one of our Patreon supporters, you should have access to the new issue waiting for you when you log in. For everyone else, it’s $2.99, and all of our back issues are $1.49.

GlitterShip is also a part of the Audible Trial Program. This means that just by listening to GlitterShip, you are eligible for a free 30 day membership on Audible and a free audiobook to keep. If you’er looking for an excellent book of short queer stories to listen to, you should check out Bitter Waters by Chaz Brenchley. This book is full of speculative fiction featuring gay men and was awarded the Lambda Award for best LGBT speculative fiction.

To download Bitter Waters for free today, go to www.audibletrial.com/glittership — or choose another book if you’re in the mood for something else.

Up first, our poem:

  Chanter is a proud Wisconsinite who took flight (alas, not literally) from her originating small town, headed for the big city’s more accepting climes and never looked back.  She’s proudly asexual, demisensual, and some flavor of bi- or panromantic that’s as yet proving difficult to define.  She’s also brand squeaky new (emphasis, occasionally, on squeaky) to official publication.  Besides holding down a day job, she’s an active shortwave radio DXer and ham operator, as well as a crowdfunded author currently based mainly on Dreamwidth.

    The Lamentations of Old Money

by Chanter

  Jennifer doesn’t want a white dress.

She doesn’t want a church, an altar, a tangle of coast-grown flowers, sisters in matching silk, trained doves, stained glass, twenty overlaid colognes and splintering sunlight, rehearsed organ music and recorded pop shorthand warbling through weak speakers, biting April breezes, overthought hair and makeup, snow in hardwood aisles.

Jennifer doesn’t want a wild time.

She doesn’t want hips around shoulders, tools and toys, filthy supplications and hot breath ideas, hours between bedsheets, sticky aftermaths, bruises as tawdry mementos in hard to reach places, hands and mouths, teeth and tongues and fluids, too many entrances, the junctions of legs and legs and legs.

Jennifer doesn’t want hard edges.

Not for her, leashes, spike heels and bad girl pretense. not for her, the bite of too-demanding fingertips grinding at her biceps, cold and bruising at her cheeks, clamped into the flesh of her wrists. Not for her, orders with teeth both behind and in them, whipcracks in voice and deed. Not for her, daddy’s little anything, mommy’s little anything, a schoolgirl’s life, a paddle’s life, princess, flower, whore. Not for her, latex and custom-made chains, iron protocol and a child’s tear-stung punishments, revoked names and Halloween’s expected trappings.

Not for her, anonymity. Not for her, all of the spice and none of the wine to mull with it.

What Jennifer wants?

Fits on a two-sided coin.

One side:

Jennifer wants nights asleep in a hayloft, clothes on, with siblings in arms—and black coffee, and cotton-coarse humor, and blood— to her left and right.

Jennifer wants a uniform, wants honest lamplight with a wick beneath it, wants a hundred songs and a hand-tuned fiddle, a guitar played at a campfire, laces and burlap, branches and homespun wool, antique language, tactile camaraderie, respected rank and unresented ceremony, world-spanning care so personal it can’t be feigned, so simultaneously subtle and frank that it confuses, so elegant it’s genuine, so casual it’s ancient. “To be fair, that one does drive me utterly mad of an afternoon but God be good, dear fellow, why wouldn’t I?”

Jennifer wants a certain amount of ignored anachronism, wants a world where ‘dear fellow’ as affectionate genderless address is just fine, where ‘she’s a good man to have beside you in a fight’ is perfectly acceptable wording, but where the phrase ‘man up’ is both soundly off limits and considered decades or centuries distant, depending; a world where, at the end of the day, it’s quietly acknowledged and otherwise near-forgotten that oh yes, that one there, she’s a girl. As in woman. As in, see also, dame. Noun. Example I: To go to work for the war effort on the road under cover of darkness, on the air for the BBC, or on the battlefield firing decisive cannon blast volleys like a real dame.

Example II: I’m a girl, and mostly, I prefer other dames to fellas. Mostly. But when I don’t, I kinda have a type? Ahem!”

Somewhere, a coin is balancing on its edge.

And the flip side:

Jennifer wants to write a hundred stories and bind them in hard covers, wants modern skirts to her ankles, comfortable jeans and blue corduroy coat sleeves, wants city streets, steel toes and long hair, near-distant clocktower bells, silver jewelry bought by her own hand, in her own name, a rocking chair made to last for decades, a damn fine radio setup, the solid strength of a wooden door at her back after she and she – he and she – they and she after they’ve crashed through it and, fully clothed, battered it closed behind them.

Both sides:

Jennifer wants her wrists pressed flat against that wooden door, all benevolent force, all warmth, all welcome gravity, all burgeoning life in orbit, all the steady strength of a star in symbiosis with a planet. Jennifer wants voices and voices and voices, innocent details and muscle-melting, breath-stealing turns of phrase, sound serving as light serving as lodestone to the iron in every millimeter of her except, except, for a bare and unbared few.

One side:

Jennifer wants the wind at her back, a message, a mission, a reason and a warning, miles and miles and miles rolled out under a sky filled with leaden stars, a purpose and a signal, a gesture, an anticipation of command that tenses her like a bowstring before—wait, wait, wait for it—rush for it— “Fire!”

Both sides:

Jennifer wants to be eager, to be teeming under her skin with silver, wants a reason and a cause and a leader who’s fallible by self-description, near-matchless by others’ accounts, wants to thrill to rank, surname, simple designation, wants to know at exactly what she’s aimed, near-precisely what will happen when she hits and that yes, the trusted, entirely human hands of gravity to a planet are the only hands pulling or perhaps, perhaps, the only hands directing those pulling her string, wants to be entirely, mindfully, consensually willing to be fired like a longbow.

And the flip side:

Jennifer wants to bring a girlfriend home to her parents, wants to curl into accented words like they’re warm compresses and quilts, wants to make promises and keep them, find each others’ keys, play each others’ record collections, brush cat hair off each others’ sweaters, adore and be adored forever, not live together. Jennifer wants to never grow tired of hearing herself say “This is Elaine.” Or “This is Kim.” Or “This is…” “This is my better half.”

Both sides:

Jennifer wants orders that both delight her and fill her with clean purpose, stoking a fire that consumes every inch of her except, except, for the space between her thighs. Jennifer wants the intersection where bravery meets well-placed loyalty. Jennifer wants to know exactly what she’s doing, wants to be utterly sure of her cause, to make up her entire mind, on her own, and then raise her voice and throw herself into the thing with abandon because yes, this is right, this is reason, this is exuberance and happiness and righteous fury blazing, this is bright history, this is justice, this is–

One coin. With two sides.

Jennifer wants the rarity that is liking of, love for, acceptance and welcome of both the existence and the admission of her two sides.

Even when she’s difficult. Even when she’s horrible. Even when she’s irrational. Even when she’s just, so most people would say, plain off baseline weird.

Especially when she’s weird.

All of the wine to mull with all of the spice ground by capable hands. Hands ringed in silver.

Hands at the ends of corduroy sleeves.

The sleeves of a coat that may have, once or twice, been a makeshift pillow in a hayloft.

After a night’s ride.

After a night’s mission.

    Cynthia So is a queer Chinese writer from Hong Kong, living in London. She spent her undergrad crying over poets that have been dead for 2,000 years, give or take. (She’s graduated now, but still crying.) Her short fiction has appeared in Anathema, Arsenika, and Cast of Wonders. She can be found on Twitter @cynaesthete.

Zora Mai Quỳnh is a genderqueer Vietnamese writer whose short stories, poems, and essays can be found in The SEA Is Ours, Genius Loci: The Spirit of Place, POC Destroy Science Fiction, Luminescent Threads: Connections to Octavia Butler, Strange Horizons, and Terraform. Visit her: zmquynh.com. Rivia is a Black and Vietnamese Pansexual Teen who has a passion for reading, video games and music. She says “I’m gender questioning but also questioning whether or not I’m questioning…Isn’t gender just a concept?” You can hear her vocals on Strange Horizon’s podcast for “When she sings…”

  Tell the Phoenix Fox, Tell the Tortoise Fruit

by Cynthia So

      On the day Sunae turned nine years old, there was no joyful feast. A monster burst from the sea that night and ate five people. The Mirayans gathered upon the shore to watch this, as they did every Appeasement. Sunae’s mother covered Sunae’s eyes, but Sunae still heard the screams. The crunch of brittle bone between teeth. The wet gulp of gluttonous throats.

Sunae prayed to the Goddess that the warrior Yomue might rise from the dead and defeat the monster yet again. No warrior came, but a hand grasped Sunae’s and squeezed. A hand as small as her own.

When it was over, Sunae’s mother murmured, “Now we will be safe for another ten years.” She removed her hands from Sunae’s eyes, and Sunae flinched from the gore before her. The older children always said that this was why Miraya’s beaches were pink, but she hadn’t been convinced until she saw the sands now drenched with fresh blood. Dark red on dusk pink.

She looked at the girl next to her, the girl who was holding her hand, and she saw a determination in those eyes as bright as the moon, as bright as her own. A determination to make sure that this would never happen again.

“I’m Oaru,” the girl said. “What’s your name?”

Sunae looked down at their clasped hands and told Oaru her name.

  The Temple of the Moon Goddess is the most beautiful place on the island. There are no straight lines and sharp angles within, but everything is curved and gentle and swooping. Shades of blue deepen as one enters through the front, the colors of twilight intensifying into midnight, accented by silver and broken up by patches of brilliant white that gleam through the dark. A pool of water from the Moon Lake shimmers in the atrium. Frosty glass cut into lunar shapes hang from the ceiling in long, glittering threads.

All of it is flawless craftsmanship, except for the wall of the prayer hall.

The hall is perfectly circular. Spanning a semicircle on the wall is a painting of Yomue, splendid in lustrous armor, wielding a sword as black as her hair and an expression as fierce as the sea. The sand of the Mirayan beach is pink beneath her feet, and she glares at the monster that towers over her. Its writhing, many-headed form is etched into the blackness of the night. The moon hangs above them, solemn and full.

The other half of the wall is blank, its contents effaced and forgotten.

Warrior confronts monster. What’s the rest of the story? Monster leaves island alone for a hundred years. Warrior dies, and monster comes back. It is starved and salivating, with too many teeth. Every ten years, it must be fed.

Is that what was on the other half of the wall?

Sunae’s mother buys her Carrucean books to read, because Carrucean is an important language to learn well. In Carrucean tales, monsters are always slain. Heroes sometimes journey into foreign lands and kill other people’s monsters for them, and they are rewarded with riches and brides and thrones.

Sunae is ten years old, but she knows this: there are Carruceans living in Miraya. Miraya was owned by Carrucea for hundreds of years, and then there was a treaty of some sort not long before Sunae was born, and now Miraya belongs to the Mirayans again.

The Carruceans came here to their island. They governed the island and lived here for centuries, but no Carrucean ever killed the monster for them. Yet here they are on the island still, with their wealth, their power. Their Mirayan wives.

“Mother, have any Carruceans ever been fed to the monster?” Sunae asks.

Her mother frowns. “Can’t we talk about something more cheerful?”

Sunae just wants to know how to defeat the monster. If no Carruceans will come to their aid, then who will?

  The old Library of Miraya is a burnt husk with a blackened facade, secluded from the town and set into the side of a hill, a little way from the Moon Lake. Sunae doesn’t understand why it hasn’t been torn down to make way for something new when fire ravaged it long ago, but perhaps its remote location preserved it. Evidently the Mirayans of yore prized a peaceful reading environment. Sunae can hear nothing of the bustling town here, only a chorus of birds.

She also doesn’t understand why she is letting Oaru drag her into the grim ruins. Inside, the half-collapsed roof lets in some lemony sunlight, but there is an unpleasant smell like overripe tortoise fruit, and rows of charred shelves loom and menace. “It went this way,” Oaru says, and drops to her hands and knees to crawl through a tiny hole in the wall.

Sunae sighs and follows. She gets stuck, her shoulders being broader than Oaru’s, but Oaru wrenches her free with a painful yank. She emerges into a cramped and airless space, illuminated only by the glow of the phoenix fox, which is swishing its enormous tail back and forth, sweeping away layers of ash and dust from the wall behind it.

Sunae coughs, but Oaru grabs her arm excitedly. “There’s something on the wall!”

Oaru leans over the fox and scrubs at the wall with her sleeve, gradually revealing the faded colors of a painting: a woman in an ethereal blue gown, sitting with a brush in her hand. A long scroll of paper unfurls before her, inked in an illegible, swirling script.

“Doesn’t that look a bit like Yomue?” Oaru asks.

It seems impossible that this serene woman should resemble the powerful warrior in the temple, but she does. It’s in the proud tilt of her jaw, maybe. Sunae reaches out and traces the woman’s chin. She has never been permitted to touch the temple mural, though she has longed to.

“What is she doing?” Oaru wonders.

“Writing poetry?” Sunae ventures.

The phoenix fox smirks at her and stretches lazily before slipping out through the hole in the wall, leaving them in absolute darkness. Oaru yelps, “I’ve got to catch that fox!” She tugs at Sunae’s elbow and Sunae reluctantly goes with her. It’s as much a struggle to get out as it was to get in, and the fox is nowhere to be seen by the time Sunae has wriggled through.

  The new Library of Miraya is a clean and functional building, centrally located, right next to the Town Hall. Most of the space is dedicated to Carrucean books, with the Mirayan literature section tucked into a dismal corner. Sunae asks a librarian to help her find Yomue’s poems.

“Yomue wasn’t a poet,” the librarian says, puzzled. “But I can recommend poetry from the same time period. Not much of it survived, what with the old Library burning down… But there is some, and it’s very beautiful. Do you know how to read Classical Mirayan, though?”

In the end, Sunae walks away from the Library with a few books and a leaflet for free Classical Mirayan lessons.

By the time she turns twelve, she has read all the Classical Mirayan poetry that the Library has to offer—and all the modern Mirayan poetry, too.

She tries her hand at writing her own poem. She writes about Yomue and the monster. Yomue’s husband, wrongfully convicted of murdering a man, chained to a pillar on the shore, awaiting his execution. Yomue weeping at his feet. The moon trembling in the sky, the Goddess watching. Yomue dressing herself in armor, carefully lacing her breastplate, looping her belt through the buckle. Whetting her sword and sheathing it. Her hair, tied back with a ribbon given to her by her husband. Her boots hitting the ground, her armor jangling. The monster howling, crashing back into the sea where it nurses its wounds for a hundred years.

Sunae wins a competition at school with this poem, and gets a shiny badge that she pins to her satchel.

She is fourteen, and she writes about nature: trees touching, sands blushing. The ocean embracing the coast. Leaves tender for one another. Mountains asleep next to each other. The moon observing everything.

She is sixteen, and Oaru bets a boy she can beat him in a swordfight. Sunae has watched Oaru practise in her garden every week for five years, first with a toy sword, then with a real one; Oaru is graceful and deft with it where Sunae has always fumbled and flailed.

Oaru and the boy are wearing white clothes and using wooden swords dipped in red paint; the boy soon looks like a bloody mess and yields, while Oaru is still pristine.

“You were amazing,” Sunae says afterwards, as Oaru is cutting into a celebratory tortoise fruit. Oaru waves a slice of it in her face, and Sunae grimaces at its distinct mustiness. “Ew, no thank you.”

“How can you not like tortoise fruit?” Oaru says, shaking her head. “Are you even Mirayan?”

Sunae sticks her tongue out. “It smells like a sweaty armpit and it tastes even worse.”

Oaru eagerly bites into the purple flesh of the fruit. “You should know though, you kind of looked like a tortoise fruit just then, when I wafted it under your nose.”

Sunae blinks at the wrinkled skin of the tortoise fruit in horror. “I looked like that? Don’t be so mean!”

Oaru laughs and nudges her side. “All right, I’m sorry—but hey, do you think I’ll be good enough to defeat the monster someday?”

No. Don’t you dare try. Sunae swallows. Oaru must be the best fighter Miraya has seen in generations. Surely if anyone has a chance to ward off the monster and stop more Appeasements from happening, it’s her. How can Sunae be so selfish as to hold Oaru back for fear of losing her?

She says, “You look so much like Yomue in the temple mural when you’re moving with that sword.”

Oaru’s breath catches, and Sunae suddenly understands what it is she has really been trying to write poetry about all this time. They are alone in Sunae’s bedroom, and Sunae kisses Oaru. There is tortoise fruit on Oaru’s tongue, cloying and bitter, but Sunae doesn’t scrunch up her nose. She doesn’t mind at all.

“That has to be the boldest thing you’ve ever done,” Oaru whispers, her lips soft and purpled, her hair mussed by Sunae’s hands.

“I guess you inspired me,” Sunae says, and Oaru grins and grips Sunae’s arms.

“Remember that time I tried to catch the phoenix fox?”

Sunae nods. Every day she thinks of the painted woman lit by the phoenix-fox fire. The nameless poet buried in the rubble, her face so strangely like Yomue’s. Sunae returned to the shadowy wreckage of the old Library once, but she has grown and can no longer contort herself to fit through that hole in the wall.

“I wanted to give the fox to you,” Oaru says.

Oh.

It is a Mirayan custom for young men to present phoenix foxes to girls they wish to marry. This fact had utterly escaped ten-year-old Sunae, who merely assumed that Oaru wanted the fox as a pretty pet.

Sunae raises her eyebrows, stroking Oaru’s cheek with her thumb. “You already wanted to marry me when you were ten?”

Oaru shrugs. “I didn’t know then, what it meant. I only knew I wanted to be your friend forever. But now I know what it actually means, for me to want to marry you.” Her eyes are serious, like a cloud veiling the moon.

It means we could both be a part of the next Appeasement if anyone finds out. Sunae closes her eyes against the thought and kisses Oaru again.

Sunae is eighteen and she is awarded a scholarship to study at the University of Wimmore, one of Carrucea’s world-famous institutions. If she takes the scholarship, she will be absent from Miraya for a year. She will be absent from Miraya on the day of the next Appeasement.

Tell me what else there is, she pleads with the impassive image of Yomue on the wall, as everyone else in the prayer hall lifts their cupped hands repeatedly to their faces in the traditional gesture of worship. Tell me.

Because if there is more to the story than a swordfight, then maybe she can convince Oaru not to risk her life. And if she has to go to Carrucea to find the answers, she will.

At the end of the prayer session, when people are either shuffling off or lingering to socialize, Sunae tells Oaru about the scholarship.

“It’s stupid that you have to go to Carrucea to learn more about this island, our island that we’ve been living on our whole lives.” Oaru spits the words, and her frustration echoes in the chambers of Sunae’s heart.

“I know.” Sunae wants to run her hands through Oaru’s hair to comfort her, but it would be foolish to show such affection in public. She wants to hold Oaru’s hand, but they are not children anymore. They will not get away with it, not here where everyone can see. “Just promise me that you won’t try and take on the monster when the Appeasement comes. Please. You’re not ready.” I’m not ready.

“I promise.” Oaru’s voice sounds fervent with honesty.

Sunae hopes she has known Oaru for long enough to tell when she is lying.

  The Moon Lake is luminous as a heart that brims full with emotion, and Sunae stands at the edge and dips her toes in.

Oaru is naked in the water, moonlight dripping from her hair. Oaru wears a smile like a phoenix fox’s, sly and burning through Sunae. Oaru’s arms are muscled and impatient and open wide.

“Come on, Sunae.”

Sunae’s fingers hover over the knot that ties the sash around her waist. “You’re breaking the law,” she whispers.

Oaru wades closer to Sunae. She lifts the hem of Sunae’s gown and kisses Sunae’s ankles. “We’ve been breaking the law for a long time, tortoise fruit,” she says, her dark eyes looking up into Sunae’s. “When has that ever stopped you?” She leaves wet handprints on the skirt of Sunae’s gown, droplets trickling down the backs of Sunae’s calves. “Who knows when we’ll get to do this again?”

I’ll only be away for a year, Sunae thinks, but Oaru’s eyes are darker than fire-scorched walls, and Sunae knows it will be the longest year of their lives.

She loosens the knot. Her gown joins Oaru’s in a careless heap on the sandy bank, and soon her body twines with Oaru’s in the water. Mist forms around them, as though the Goddess herself wishes to hide them away from the world.

  Let’s skip ahead for a moment. It is Sunae’s nineteenth birthday, and she is chained to a pillar on the pink shore of Miraya. Her lover Oaru is shackled to a different pillar. They cannot touch or kiss each other. The monster is about to rear its ugly heads from the sea, and Sunae is crying, but she is speaking. She is reciting a poem she wrote, and I am watching, as I always have. I am listening.

So how did they get here?

  Sunae sits on the steps of a lofty sandstone building, shivering in the wind and eating a whole tortoise fruit by herself.

She has been studying in Wimmore for four months, and she hasn’t made a single friend. The light in Wimmore is muted and cold, the streets narrow and grey, the houses foreboding and tall. People laugh at her accent. The dresses fashionable here are too tight, and she can never get enough air into her lungs.

The air tastes nothing of salt, anyway. She misses the sea.

She runs her fingers over the tough, knobbly green rind of the fruit. Her professor had bought it for the class to try—an expensive import from Miraya, not easily purchased. The others in her class had squealed over how disgusting the fruit looked and smelled as Dr. Janner was dissecting it like a corpse, and Sunae thought of Oaru’s teeth tearing into a wedge of tortoise fruit. Oaru’s tongue stained purple by its juice.

Sunae had stood up, gathered the massive fruit in her arms as though it were a baby and marched out of the classroom. And now she is sitting on rain-wet stone and chewing miserably.

How Oaru would tease her, if Oaru were here.

A girl sits down next to her. Talia from her class, with wheat-colored curls flattened in the drizzle. “You really like tortoise fruit, huh?” Talia says.

“I hate it,” Sunae says.

“Let me try a bit, will you?”

Sunae gives her a small slice and she takes a tentative bite. “Hmm, it tastes a lot better than it smells. Definitely not the texture I was expecting, though. It’s… squidgy?” She finishes the slice, throws the rind over her shoulder, and grabs another immediately.

Sunae smiles. She thinks it must be the first time she has smiled since she set foot in Wimmore. “You like it more than I do, then.”

“So what are you doing out here eating something you hate and crying?” Talia asks, squinting. “Don’t tell me that’s just the rain.”

“It’s not just the rain,” Sunae says, rubbing a hand over her face. “It’s just… It’s what a friend calls me. Tortoise fruit.”

“An affectionate nickname?” Talia turns the piece of wrinkly rind over in her hand. “Is it a cute boy who’s waiting for you at home?”

Sunae hesitates. “Um. Not a boy.” And then, to distract Talia from fixating on that, she launches into an account of everything that’s been overwhelming her. She explains that the next Appeasement is happening soon, and that she has been trying to conduct research into the history and literature of Miraya to see if she can find any clues as to how Yomue defeated the monster last time and why the monster came back, but she still hasn’t found anything useful.

“I just want to find another way,” Sunae says. “I don’t want my friend to do anything rash. I don’t want to lose her.”

Talia presses her shoulder gently against Sunae’s. “One of my ancestors was part of the first expedition to Miraya. We have an attic full of things left behind by various family members. We’ve never managed to go through all of it properly, but you’re welcome to come and have a look.”

This is how Sunae finds herself cross-legged on the dusty floor of Talia’s ridiculously big attic, cross-eyed after three continuous days of rifling through boxes of miscellanea in dim light, unable to believe what she’s looking at.

It’s a roughly colored sketch of Yomue the warrior, copied from the temple wall. Sword and monster and moon. And beneath that, a sketch of Yomue again—a woman dressed in the same armor, holding not a sword but a scroll open in her hands. Next to her is something a little like a mirror, or a full moon: a vast circle, shaded in silver. Within it coils a spiral shadow.

Sunae isn’t sure how to interpret this, but she knows that this Yomue and the painted poet in the old Library are one and the same.

She rummages through the rest of the box which contained the sketches, and her hand touches worn leather. She pulls it out of the box and it falls open on her lap, yellowed pages crammed with neat handwriting.

It’s a diary.

  “Why do all you rich Carruceans have stuff just lying around in your attic that I’ve only been searching for my entire life?” Sunae mutters under her breath to Talia, who is sitting next to her at this dinner. She clenches her fist around her fork.

“Well, at least now you can read Yomue’s poetry!” Talia whispers back.

Dr. Sotkin, a dear friend of Dr. Janner, carries on explaining to everyone how he recovered the lost manuscript of Yomue’s poems when he was cleaning out his grandfather’s house after his grandfather recently passed away. Sunae saws away at her chunk of boiled beef.

“I’ll be publishing a translation later this year,” Dr. Sotkin announces.

Sunae takes a sip of water and a deep breath. “What kind of poetry is it?” she asks, proud of how calm and polite she sounds.

“Sadly, it only survives in fragments, but I’ve brought a copy of some of them to share with all of you as a preview.” Dr. Sotkin digs in his bag and retrieves a sheaf of papers. “I believe Dr. Janner told me you can all read Classical Mirayan?”

“Some of us better than others,” Talia murmurs to Sunae, and Sunae hides a smile behind her napkin. Some of the boys in their class seem to be getting by with barely any knowledge of Mirayan. Sunae assumes it must be their wealth that passes their exams for them.

She takes the sheet that Dr. Sotkin offers to her and scans it quickly. Her mind whirls dizzily and she pushes away her plate and reads the fragment again, more slowly this time. And again.

She closes her eyes and envisions the inscrutable moon in the night sky to steady herself. Dr. Sotkin is saying something about a man that Yomue is drinking with. “She compares her love for this man to the Moon Lake—a blessing that glimmers on and on.”

Sunae hands the sheet to Talia and holds onto the edge of the table. “Dr. Sotkin,” she says, and she isn’t able to sound calm anymore. Her voice quavers. “I don’t believe Yomue is talking about a man. I know it’s only a fragment, but it’s clear from the grammar that she’s writing about a woman.”

Dr. Sotkin frowns. “Did you not hear when I said that this is a love poem?”

“Yes, I know, and I believe that Yomue’s beloved is a woman.”

“That’s preposterous. It’s simply impossible.”

“You think it’s impossible that Yomue loved another woman?”

“What you are speaking of is highly illegal and punishable by death, young lady,” Dr. Sotkin sniffs. In both Miraya and Carrucea, yes—Sunae is extremely aware. “Are we to believe that Yomue shared these poems with the public and was not executed for her sins?”

“Well, she warded off the monster, so there were no Appeasements—”

Dr. Sotkin tugs haughtily at his cravat. “You do realize that it is possible to execute people without feeding them to a monster as you barbarians love to do?”

“Love?” Sunae’s voice is shrill to her own ears; drums thunder in her ribcage. “You think we love having to feed people to a monster every ten years to keep it from destroying our whole island?”

Dr. Sotkin’s face is pink as the sand on Miraya’s beaches. “I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

“Yes,” Dr. Janner joins in. “Sunae, your behavior of late has been extremely rude and disruptive and I’m afraid we cannot tolerate this. Dr. Sotkin is the foremost expert on Classical Mirayan and he will not be insulted by your bumbling reading of this poem.”

“But she’s right!” Talia protests, jabbing at the sheet of paper. “Dr. Janner, Sunae’s right. Look at this line here.”

“It’s all right,” Sunae says, putting her hand on Talia’s arm. “I’m leaving.”

  Sunae’s head is still spinning from the fragment of Yomue’s poetry. It was so much like the poems that she has been writing about Oaru, folded into envelopes and sent across the ocean to her lover. One was about the glow of sweat and moon-water on Oaru’s skin, the night they drifted together in the Moon Lake, the last night they spent together.

And now, this letter from her mother. She sinks to the floor of the post room and clutches her knees. She is going to be sick.

The door creaks open. She looks up and Talia is there. “I’m so sorry,” Talia says. “You were such a fearsome warrior back there, speaking up to Sotkin like that. He’s utterly dreadful. Janner, too. I want to lock them both up in my attic and never let them out. Janner revoked your scholarship but he hasn’t even tried to suspend me.”

Sunae stares at Talia and cannot speak. Talia doesn’t know about the letter yet. She thinks Sunae is just upset about what happened at the dinner, but the world is crumbling at Sunae’s feet and Talia has no idea.

A smile stretches across Talia’s face. “Can you believe your legendary Yomue’s one of us?”

Sunae’s shoulders loosen a little. “One of us?”

“One of us,” Talia repeats and holds her hand out to Sunae, and Sunae understands. Instead of taking Talia’s hand, she lifts up the letter and gives it to Talia.

Talia reads it and is speechless, too. She sits down next to Sunae and together they watch the flickering light bulb. It is no moon, but it soothes, somehow.

Eventually, Talia asks, “When is the next Appeasement? Will you make it back in time?”

“If I leave at dawn, I might,” Sunae says, hoarsely.

“You’ll be arrested too if you go back, won’t you?”

Sunae nods.

“But you’re definitely going.”

Sunae nods again.

“Good luck,” Talia whispers. “If you don’t die, write me a poem. You have my address.”

She kisses Sunae’s forehead.

  Sunae crosses the ocean home. She prays to the Goddess. She prays to Yomue.

She writes.

  Which is what brings us here, to Sunae’s nineteenth birthday, and Sunae and Oaru on the beach where they first met ten years ago. “I love you,” Sunae says to Oaru. There is white sea-spray in Oaru’s windblown hair, and if Sunae’s plan doesn’t succeed, she wants this to be the last thing she ever sees.

She closes her eyes. The waves lap the shore. Her lungs are full of salt air. The moon caresses her face with its white light.

She opens her mouth.

The truth comes out.

Sunae wrote that silly poem when she was twelve, where I saved my husband from the monster. I laughed when I heard her read it to her classmates. Now she is a much better poet, and she has learnt so much—from sketches and diaries and mistranslated fragments—and this is what she tells the Mirayans.

Four hundred years ago, Yomue loved another woman, and they had flowers and wine and stars; they chased phoenix foxes together in the valleys. They ate tortoise fruit and kissed each other’s mouths purple. They wrapped themselves in moonlight.

Yomue was skilled with the sword, but even more skilled with words, and she was the Goddess’ favorite. She could not stand by and watch a monster kill more people in her town. She wove a spell out of poetry and enchanted the monster, led it to the Moon Lake where it slumbered for as long as she lived, and longer, because she taught others the poem.

But the Carruceans came; they brought their laws with them, and they knew how powerful fear was. How to control a people with it. Fire bloomed in the Library; in the temple, fresh paint dried on the wall. Yomue the poet was erased from history. The monster was awoken, and anyone who caused trouble could be thrown into its devouring jaws.

“Now you tell me I cannot love Oaru.

  We chase a phoenix fox that Yomue tamed once,

Reborn from the ashes of the Library.

It hides poems in its fur.

Tell the phoenix fox I cannot love Oaru.

  We eat tortoise fruit grown from centuries-old trees,

Roots as deep as our island.

It hides poems in its rind.

Tell the tortoise fruit I cannot love Oaru.

  We bathe in the Moon Lake Yomue drank from,

Water sacred to the Goddess.

It hides poems in its bed.

Tell the Moon Lake I cannot love Oaru.

  Tell the Goddess I cannot love Oaru.

Tell Yomue. Tell her and the woman she loved.

Go back in time and bind her to this pillar and

Tell her she was wrong.”

  The monster rises out of the sea, torrents of water cascading from its back.

Oaru was arrested because of Sunae’s poetry. Because Oaru’s father found the incriminating poems, because Sunae had sent so many and they overflowed, spilled, flooded Oaru’s room. Poems alight with the memories of all that Oaru and Sunae did together, all the times they were wide-eyed travelers in the landscape of each other’s bodies, all the smoldering hearths they built in the secret corners of each other’s hearts.

The monster bellows and the earth quakes and Sunae is not afraid. She knows she is not the first who has been here. She is not the first who has done this.

  “Let her tell you she is me.

Let her open her mouth and

Sing the monster to sleep

Again.”

  Sunae’s pores still have the magic blessing of moon-water in them, and I am with her. Through her, I sing. I was here, like her. I loved, like her. I fought the monster and won, and she will, too.

  If you visit the Temple of Moon Goddess today, you will see this scene painted alongside my mural in the prayer hall:

The monster walks spellbound across the island, and the Mirayans walk with it, every one of their faces slack with awe. Sunae leads them, freed from her shackles.

She holds Oaru’s hand.

  END

  “The Lamentations of Old Money” is copyright Chanter 2019.

“Tell the Phoenix Fox, Tell the Tortoise Fruit” is copyright Cynthia So 2019.

This recording is a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives license which means you can share it with anyone you’d like, but please don’t change or sell it. Our theme is “Aurora Borealis” by Bird Creek, available through the Google Audio Library.

You can support GlitterShip by checking out our Patreon at patreon.com/keffy, subscribing to our feed, or by leaving reviews on iTunes. You can also pick up a free audio book by going to www.audibletrial.com/glittership or buying your own copy of the Summer 2018 issue at www.glittership.com/buy

Thanks for listening, and we’ll be back soon with a reprint of “Instar” by Carrow Narby.

Episode #66: “Tell the Phoenix Fox, Tell the Tortoise Fruit” was originally published on GlitterShip

[sierradorotheia]

CURRENT FAVES vol 3

So I know it’s been REALLY long since the last ~current faves~ post. It’s been six months since I moved out of the North and back down South... but I just never found the time to write something remotely “worth-while” (despite the unemployment back in the Fall!) but here it is anyway. I am also thinking about doing a “Life Update” post of some sort, since I have a post on my Drafts that’s been sitting there after I moved out of Yellowknife. 

Aaand... without any much further ado...

*** MAKEUP ***

Dior Backstage Foundation ~ this started as a sample from when I had a makeover done at Sephora. I absolutely love this foundation’s longevity and that it has a satin finish. Lately I’ve been steering clear of matte foundations because of the season. I get compliments with my flawless face with this foundation. The only thing I dislike about it is the fact that it’s not pump; for something high-end, you would think it would have a different, less-messy packaging. But overall, I wish this foundation is not expensive enough for me to use all the time. 

CoverFX Highlighting Drops ~ again, another deluxe sample I got from Sephora. I’m still using the sample I got actually- and man this liquid highlighter is just the stuff of the goddesses. I swear I always look GLOWY and naturally radiant with these drops. I saw some videos where people mix a drop or two with their foundations, but I use it on my cheekbones, bridge of my nose and my chine. I don’t even have to use a highlighting powder after! I would definitely buy the full size when I run out, but this deluxe sample bottle is lasting me ages.

Charlotte Tilburry Hollywood Contour ~ this cream contour stick is so worth the splurge. I had the Sephora makeup artist use this on me when I had a makeover done, and I just knew I got to have it. It was out of stock for the longest time in-store and online and I finally took the plunge when it went back in stock on the day Sephora was having the 20% off event. This contour is so good on its own--- on a very important night-out. It’s very natural-looking and long-lasting. I can’t stress enough how much I love this product, and I also wish I can use this all the time if not for the price point!

Sephora Lip Plumper in Nude ~ so... I’m not really a believer in lip plumpers and stuff. I just don’t think it ever works, not that I’ve tried one before. I was on my lunch break at work and watching itsjudytime on YouTube and she featured this as one of her all-time faves. I checked the website and I assumed it wouldn’t be too pricey since it’s a Sephora brand, and I was right. My office is inside a mall with a Sephora so I picked one up on the same day. I can’t say it works per se but I like the tingly effect it has (like it’s actually doing something lol) and since I am never a fan of glossy lips, I can make an exception with this. The nude colour is so universal and perfect for me!

Artistry Highlighter ~ bestfriend got this for me for Christmas, and while I am not familiar with the Artistry brand, I was excited to try this (I mean, you can never have so many high-lighters right?!). My favourite is the gold and pink highlights as they have really natural look and finish to it, and the fact that it stays put all-day is really a plus. 

No POREblem Primer Touch in Sol ~ I haven’t bought a full-sized primer in a while just because I have so many deluxe samples I haven’t yet exhausted, but this primer is so satiny, and silky.. love the scent and the way it applies.

*** SKIN CARE/HAIR CARE ***

Mario Badescu Face Mist - Green Tea and Aloe Vera ~ you might already know I’m quite fond of the Mario Badescu line- and how exciting that Sephora carries MB now, too! I immediately purchased the Green Tea and Aloe and Lavender face mists. I loved the GT one but not so much the lavender; the latter has a scent that I kind of don’t like, and I wish I bought a smaller bottle to start. Now I’m just miserably trying to finish it at work... but the GT is very refreshing, very soothing!

Lush Body Wash ~ I am partially embarrassed to say that for a couple of months, I was a body wash-sample hoarder at at least four locations in my City. Like... I would go from stores to stores and shamelessly get at least two samples of body wash (most times, without even purchasing anything), and they were generous with their samples, too! I feel so bad for abusing the system... but I finally took the plunge and bought full-sized bottles. The ones I like by Lush are : Sleepy, Happy Hippy, American Cream, Olive Branch, and Rose Jam. They all smell amazing, very bubbly... and I liked having variations in my shower so I can use whatever suits my mood. It adds to the excitement of showering. lol L'Occitane Foot Cream ~ I know it’s still sub-zero temps outside but... sandals season is just around the corner! I finally ditched Soap and Glory’s foot cream and while I was on a hunt for new one, I stumbled upon this product on Sephora and just basically trusted the buyer reviews. I like how creamy this is, a little goes a long way for sure compared to S&G... and it has echinacea extract, which apparently helps wick away foot odour. So far I’m liking this, and I don’t even have to use the foot board all the time before applying this foot cream.

Bath and Body Works Smoothing Body Scrub ~ I’ve always been a fan of BBW scrubs because of how fine they are, they smell SOOO good, and they actually do the job of exfoliating and keeping my skin smooth and supple. Right now I have the Comfort and Love scents in my shower, and I am still waiting for the Energize one to be available in-store. This scrubs are so perfect post-waxing or post-shaving.

Redken All-Soft Shampoo & Conditioner ~ this was the shampoo and conditioner used by my hairdresser during my last haircut appointment, so I decided to purchase a full bottle to take home. It lives up to its claim of all-soft. My hair does not look dull, and the softness and silkiness is almost instant and last until the day after.

BrioGeo Scalp Revival Shampoo/Conditioner/Scalp Drops ~ I was on the fence about including these on the current favourites since I have only used this three times exactly, but I just used it today so I figured I’d tell you what I thought about it. I use the three together of course, and while they recommend you use the products 2-3 times a week, I have only been using them every two weeks or so, just because I don’t think it actually cleanses the hair and especially after a workout, I would love that clean feeling on my hair. So  from what I noticed, the shampoo and conditioner combo sort of weighs my hair down, but I think that’s part of the process. It’s a treatment, so I would understand how it won’t make your hair feel fab right after usage. It has a cooling effect from the peppermint right after rinsing and I LIVE FOR THAT. It feels amazing, soothing, calming... you name it. I can still feel it now and it’s been three hours since I washed my hair. I just have to keep using it I guess, but I don’t know if I’m ready to take the plunge and buy the pricey full-sized bottles!

Hempz Body Lotion ~ you can tell I’ve been using this lotion for quite sometime lol... I really love the scent of this lotion. So clean... so subtle. And it smells like the lotions they have at the nail spa that they apply to my hands after my manicure. 

Burberry Her ~ this is my current scent, and God knows it took me forever to change scents. First time I tried this perfume out, I thought it was too sweet. But I love how it smells shortly after. It’s very feminine... and I don’t even mind that because this is Burberry’s new scent, there might be tons of other women wearing the same scent.

  Vasanti Face Scrub ~ this item was in my FabFitFun box way back when, and after I ran out of my ExfoliKate (and refusing to repurchase unless I used up all the samples I have), I decided to finally give this a shot. I am all for the fine microbreads this scrub has, and it does leave my face bright and smooth in the morning.

Mount Lai Rose Quartz Face Roller ~ I’ve been wanting to try this product for the longest time, and then I forgot about it... and Sephora began carrying Mount Lai face rollers and I knew I just have to pull the trigger. My only regret is not buying the bigger size, as I did not know there was such, but this mini-size does the trick just as well. I pop this in the fridge and I just use it at night after my night time skincare. It’s very relaxing, and you just want to keep doing it over and over. You have to make sure you know how to properly use it though! Watch the video they have on the Sephora website here 

*** MISCELLANEOUS ***

Bergamot Waters Three-Wick Candle ~ finally, a home scent that the boyfriend and I agreed on! We have this as a plug-in, and the candles, and has very nice scent that’s not over powering. 

Essential Oils ~ I know I’m a little too late on the essential oils wagon, but we finally tried this out with our humidifier and while I’m not sure if it’s really doing anything health-wise, it helps me sleep better so that’s kinda good.

Anytime Fitness Workout App ~ I stopped doing CrossFit workouts since late January, and being in the CrossFit bubble for over two years, I really don’t know what to do at the gym without any direction. I decided to check out the free Anytime Fitness app that came with my gym membership, and I’m quite happy with the results so far. I feel like I’m pushing harder this way, and at my own pace so I feel as though I am less prone to injure myself. The App has different workouts every 8 weeks so you can switch things up and confuse your muscles!

[safety-net-did]

Hobbies! I'm good with hobbies! (If you define "good" as having too many)

Learn an instrument

Especially the "strange" ones are reasonably cheap, like kazoo, harmonica, recorder. You can even learn the basics of drumming for very cheap, just get some sticks and a bucket :)

Drawing/zentangles/colouring

Probably one of the first ones to come to mind. Basic needs are really cheap, but also something that could be upgraded over time.

Reading!

Your local library has thousands of books, ebooks, and audiobooks all available to you for free!

Writing

Similar to drawing, cheap materials (or free if you already have a device that you choose to use)

Pixel art

You can do exceptional things with just MS Paint or similar. Other programs that are good for it are often also free.

Genealogy

I don't do this one, so I know less about it, but I know most libraries have access to genealogy resources.

Hand embroidery

This one can be expensive depending what you're trying to do. But for about 10$ you can get set up with some very basic supplies at a dollar store

Spinning

Like, yarn. A drop spindle is very simple and cheap to make, and fibre can be very cheap if you're not getting luxury things. You can dye it yourself with food coloring. If you learn to knit, crochet, or some other string-craft, you get twice as much hobby for one pay out.

Exercise

Unless you're buying equipment or a gym membership this is basically free. Jogging, stretching, yoga, etc..

Micro crochet

If you know how to crochet and have good eyes I'd give this a shot! You can crochet with embroidery floss or seeing thread (I use the thicker reinforced thread). Making teddies the size of your knuckle is oddly rewarding!

Collecting

Depending on what you collect this can be cheap or expensive. I collect pop-tabs. It's really cheap. But I also collect TsumTsums, which aren't so cheap. Researching the things you collect is a lot of fun too.

Flower pressing

Kinda like collecting. You can make your own press at home.

Mobile games

I know you're probably looking for something a little more "irl", but there are some really neat mobile games out there.

Puzzles

Thrift store puzzles tend to be really cheap. I know some people have even managed to work out deals with their thrift stores-- they take the puzzles home, put them together to check the pieces are all there, then drop them back.

Rubik's cube

Similar to puzzles, but this one travels well. Learn the algorithms to solve a Rubik's cube. Practice and try to beat your own solve time!

Nail art

This one is on the more expensive side. I get all my polishes on clearance for that reason. But playing with nail polish, trying new combinations/designs can be very soothing. Plus a few go a long way.

Whittling/carving

If you're not scared of knives. At its most basic you only need a pocket knife and a stick (a sharpening stone is helpful though).

Origami

If you use scrap paper, this is free. You can get fancier papers though :)

House design

My dad is an architect, so I grew up designing house layouts. I especially like trying to figure out tinyhouse designs, for the challenge. If desired you can then turn your designs into scale models. That can either become costly or be a recycling project.

Building blocks

Lego is a bit expensive. But don't let purists make you think that's the only choice. Even the dollar store brands can be really fun to play with. There is something about making ideas come to life...

Sculpting

This can be as cheap as a dollar block of plasticine . Similar to blocks, making form in 3D from your head is so neat!

I've gone on way too long, but yeah. That's some things that I do/have done/have heard of. I frickin' LOVE hobbies. I basically collect them.

could you suggest some hobbies/interests for alters that just want simple fun things that also aren't too expensive? a lot of my alters are bored and i feel bad... i want them to be able to experience life too, you know...

Hey this is a great question! Inexpensive hobbies may include using stuff around the house, such as old coloring books or paper and pencil to draw or write. You could ride a bike, scooter, or skateboard if you have one, or just getting outside by walking or hiking. We actually like arts and crafts, we make bracelets with thread (a large box is about $7), but you could also try painting. With school soon, lots of arts supplies will be on sale, so be sure to check local stores! Gardening can also be cheap, seeds can be low priced as can small plants. Researching topics can also be really fun, which might include reading, watching videos, and more. Even singing is a hobby, and it only uses your voice!

I hope some of these ideas are helpful!

- mod neptune

[jumpchain-drop]

Chapter 4.13: 5.25 Years

Year 6, day 91: As we defend the Firma Fortress and the towns from monster attack going into the back half of the decade, I felt it pertinent to go through all the resources that we managed to get together. And by “get together,” I meant “buy all the way back at the beginning of this thing.” Something I really wished I did a lot earlier.

First off was our own personal fleet of ships: Cody’s shop boat, Shadow and Zorro’s submersibles, and (if they were here) Timothy. Plus whatever Maria and Tooty’s boats were, once we managed to get there.

We also had a large number of mason jars – or, to use the Zelda vernacular, Bottles – and “complimentary coupons” for Beedle’s shop. One each for each of us, except Shadow who got two Bottles because apparently he was down to pocket change at the time. So far, all the coupons had done is cause Beedle to give its user a very weak compliment. As well as prompt that from anyone we showed it to. Kinda next to useless. Though the Bottles have been in constant use by us to store things like health potions. Cody’s bought a copy of the recipe that turns Chu Jelly into potions and has set up large stores of potion in the Warehouse, so we won’t be out of stock for the rest of our stay here on that front. He wants to look into setting up a Chu breeding pen in the Warehouse, but we’re currently a little short-manned for that.

Cody and Zorro had started out with each of three decorative flowers on pot-like pedestals. They made good inventory for awhile, as every time one was sold, two more appeared in Cody’s shop’s storage lockers or the Warehouse. Eventually we stopped selling them to keep them from running roughshod all over the Warehouse and had to dump several in the ocean. Cody traded these with other merchants (which, thankfully, didn’t cause them to multiply) to get other decorative items, such as flags and statues. We’ve kept a couple of those for taking along, especially since they don’t multiply. I like the Hero’s Flag the most; I had a badge of it for my 3DS, but never had any idea before that point what it actually was.

Cody also started with this gold membership card from Beedle. He could get at least 10% off any purchase anywhere with it, and somehow even increase the prices of his own inventory by 10% without anyone batting an eye. Combine this with his hard bargaining skills, and I wasn’t kidding when I said Cody makes for a scary business mogul. Thankfully he’s mild enough to fund expanding and building the towns in the first place instead of monopolizing everything.

From what I remember of Bolt’s items – which is, y’know, everything – he had another bottle that came with a constantly hot serving of soup made with love. And probably also actual ingredients, he refused to share. He also had his own bag, though it was different from the mailbag I had, as well as a telescope and a Tingle Tuner. I’ve had to meet Tingle a couple times when one of the treasure map configurations proved too difficult to figure out, and he’s chill enough. Cody at least managed to bring his prices down from obscene to slightly less than Disneyland would charge for it; if we had the technology to reverse-engineer the Tuner, he probably could’ve put the weird little man out of business.

Along with an identical version of Bolt’s bag, Shadow got a Hyoi Pear, which let him command seagulls. Which we could buy, and the Warehouse only replaced the previous used one once per week. In all fairness, he had no idea what he was getting into.

Along with the aforementioned wallet of bottomless money storage and her Deku Leaf, Elmily had two bottles that were noticeably different from the others. These purified and filled with life any water left in them for a few hours, which made them great for growing plants. It even got rid of the salt content if it was taken from the ocean. This comboed nicely with a power that accelerated the growth of plants she tended to without even taking into account her natural green thumb as a Grass-type, and we got enough food and Reviver Seeds to outlast any siege, with enough bumper to sell in Cody’s business. She also got a leaf-based musical instrument that vaguely resembled a violin; while she got lessons from Makar on it that I sat in on with the Mind Strings, it was sadly different enough that I only got a vague sense of how to play my own instrument. So much for the easy way of soothing Anita’s heart.

Zorro, bless his heart, had the most surprising choices. Not the telescope, he just wanted one of his own, but the other things. Apparently several locations within the Great Sea were available to purchase, from Outset Island to the Forsaken Fortress to the Tower of the Gods, but none of the descriptions (as far as they could remember) specified anything about what would happen after the world ended. It wasn’t like any of those places could fit in the Warehouse, after all. But you know that island cabana that was owned by that schoolteacher that Link could come to own after bribing her with enough shinies? Zorro owns it. We legally owned an island that we could’ve used as a base this entire time and he didn’t tell us. I asked as calmly as I could, with Terra holding my hand just in case, and he said that I looked so deadset on taking on the Fortress as our home base, he didn’t want to ruin it for me.

I don’t deserve this kid.

And finally was our collective weapons assortment. Apparently one of the choices gave an option of two weapons and not a lot of limitations on what exactly besides weapon and shield. My hammer and shield came from that choice being forced on me. Hylians, A.K.A. everyone else but Terra, got it for free and they took it aside from Cody (he told me it slipped his mind from being overwhelmed by the whole process), so altogether, those produced one hammer, one sword, one lance, three shields, two daggers, and one boomerang. And then there were the special swords that were separate purchases.

Bolt had gotten a copy of the depowered Master Sword that he used almost exclusively instead of the plain sword he got. It had also gotten a bit of a chargeup for a while during the last leg of Link’s quest, but it since faded after the Earth and Wind Temples flooded. Most of the time he fought with it, though, he filled it with his own electrical power; since we had come here, he had managed to learn Discharge. The most fascinating part about this was that it showed me the interesting difference between human world and Mystery Dungeon Pokémon – he still had separate PP stores for each move and could always use them at full power, as could Cody, while Terra, Shadow, Manaphy, and I had a single PP well for all our moves but only half the strength if we weren’t in Pokémon form. In any case, Bolt had taken it with him when he left.

But that pales in comparison to what Zorro got. For no other reason than name alone, he had bought the Phantom Sword. By itself, it was merely effective at damaging incorporeal enemies like ghosts at any time instead of having to wait for them to make themselves vulnerable, as well as providing some resilience to time-based effects. What made it so extraordinary was the hilt had a slot in it that fit my Phantom Hourglass perfectly, providing a perfect place to hold and use it in a combat situation instead of trying to fiddle with a thing on my belt.

So I, along with Elmily in human form who could pass as a Hylian named Terra easily enough, recently started taking up swordsmanship training with Orca on Outset Island. My hammer delivers a strong enough blow, but against Anita, I’m going to want the power of the Phantom Hourglass as easily accessible as possible. Elmily, meanwhile, wanted to mitigate how relatively useless being a Torterra on a sailing ship was when it came to combat (especially if it was one we didn’t want to sink in the process) and most of her moves, and while she was bipedal on the Isle o’ Hags, she still fought primarily as a Torterra; she needed to learn how to fight with a human body so she could provide all the help she could. I can trust Shadow to watch Firma Fortress while we’re on the other side of the ocean for this.

[datingadviceonreddit]

So I'm in my late 30s and I still can't comprehend how guys find girls having never been in a serious relationship. The vast majority of people around me seem to just fall into a relationship naturally which I find completely mystifying. Its like I'm some sort of alien observing another species.I'm asian if that matters, IMO, I'm obviously not brad pitt, but not THAT bad looking or obese or anything like that. Maybe averagish nerdy and a bit awkward moving like stereotypical nerdy men. Americanized too so no accent or anything. I mean I see other nerdish asian guys with women so it can't be this right?Busy. Which is one of the main problems I can put my finger on. No I'm not very successful...its grad school, yeah I know I know...hopefully I'll be finishing soon.The 'Natural Route' of just going about my daily business and magically ending up in a relationship which seems to work for most people hasn't done it for me so far. So I've taken other measures...I've also tried:The RL Approach: Nobody and I mean nobody I encounter in RL shows the slightest interest in me AFAIK. Okay thats a bit of an exaggeration. Once in a blue moon I might have encountered a girl that have possibly been showing interest. Maybe...like once during my freshman year in college and then the next time was briefly in my mid 20s.The Workplace Approach: Practically every female I know is in some sort of committed relationship.The Friendslist Approach: I've gone down the list of contacts I've accumulated of those women I've known or used to know over the years. Apparently this is a very quick way to get people who talk to you rarely to talk to you even less. Not really even being obnoxious about it. Just inquiring if they want to hang out the next time they're in town and its an instant ghost/semighost. Now people can do whatever they want and I don't mind on an individual basis but it seems to be a pattern.Speed Dating: Tried it a couple times. Not a single interested inquiry.Parents Approach: the girls aren't interested so far.Internet Tinder/OkayStupid Approach: < 1% likes-> < 5% Responses-> 0% Responses that aren't from bots or are more than 1 sentence one time only. I like to think I'm a clever comment writer but....I've even paid for the membership and its just a waste. I've recently gone back and its even worse now. They have this new thing where they show you the likes you supposedly have but even if you have 10 no matter how much you swipe you never get a match and the number just fluctuates up and down for no apparent reason.Networking Approach: When I can find time I try to simply hang out with others. The problem is I don't really have very many superfamiliar contacts period and those I semiknow are off living their superadult family lives. So you basically end up turning things into a double layered problem where instead of trying to find contacts you spend all your time trying to find contacts that will hopefully help you find other contacts.Doing Things Approach: The most common Internet advice I've encountered about this subject generally runs along the lines of simply being more 'social' and 'do things'. (For some reason the specific example I see over and over again is salsa dancing.) I guess I'm kinda dumb because this is a very broad suggestion I have trouble wrapping my head around. I don't really know what to do other than go look up events at Eventbrite and then aimlessly wander a museum for about an hour. I guess this works better if you're doing this with an active cohort of friends and not simply randomly crashing around as an individual stranger. I haven't specifically done the salsa dancing thing though. Mainly because I haven't had the opportunity to make such a regular committment and I haven't found any nearby but I guess I better try it out soon. The big problem here is that my free time tends to be irregular for many things.Random Approach: I've even resorted to approaching random women in public. Hey, its not an option I enjoy either but what else can I do except cover all bases? I've tried to ramp this up but as you can imagine its hard to find an opportunity to do this without coming off as a creep. I've managed to pass my info on a couple times a month but no joy yet.I dunno. It just seems...so easy for everybody else. Seriously, its like magic or something. I'm almost as disturbed by the apparent disconnect I have with the aptitude of the rest of male population as I am frustrated by my lack of success.How do you guys do it? via /r/dating_advice

[tortuga-aak]

Denmark has the happiest people in the world — and there are 3 ways anyone can be more like them

Mike Hewitt/Getty Images

Community is a huge part of happiness — when you don't feel like you're part of a group, health and self control decline.

Denmark is the happiest country in the world, and it's due in part to 92% of Danish people belonging to some kind of religious group or community.

While you don't need to be religious, finding a group of your own can increase your happiness.

Set regular meetings with people you look up to and make you feel good.

Then do something with your group involving some sort of struggle — like sports — and celebrate success.

Sometimes we all feel anxious. Sometimes lonely or disconnected. Sometimes unhappy, and maybe even a little crazy. You know what might fix all of this?

Would you believe me if I said… a war?

From Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging:

The positive effects of war on mental health were first noticed by the great sociologist Emile Durkheim, who found that when European countries went to war, suicide rates dropped. Psychiatric wards in Paris were strangely empty during both world wars, and that remained true even as the German army rolled into the city in 1940. Researchers documented a similar phenomenon during civil wars in Spain, Algeria, Lebanon, and Northern Ireland. An Irish psychologist named H. A. Lyons found that suicide rates in Belfast dropped 50 percent during the riots of 1969 and 1970, and homicide and other violent crimes also went down. Depression rates for both men and women declined abruptly during that period, with men experiencing the most extreme drop in the most violent districts. County Derry, on the other hand—which suffered almost no violence at all—saw male depression rates rise rather than fall.

Hold on a second before you send me that angry email. I'm not really suggesting war as a solution to any of our emotional ills. God forbid.

But, that said: what the heck is going on here? Wars are supposed to be bad, right?

Why are people feeling less depressed, less crazy, less violent and less suicidal when something we can all agree is horrible and life threatening is happening around them?

Because war and natural disasters force people to unite together. To help others. To act as a community.

From Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging:

"When people are actively engaged in a cause their lives have more purpose… with a resulting improvement in mental health," Lyons wrote in the Journal of Psychosomatic Research in 1979. "It would be irresponsible to suggest violence as a means of improving mental health, but the Belfast findings suggest that people will feel better psychologically if they have more involvement with their community."

We need a community to feel good. And community is something we sorely lack in the modern world. Sadly, we often only feel it these days when forced to.

Flickr/Garry Knight

From Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging:

Modern society has perfected the art of making people not feel necessary.

Many of us live alone. We're often surrounded by strangers rather than family or friends. We communicate by text rather than face to face. We hire a service instead of getting the help of a buddy.

These are new developments in the existence of Homo Sapiens. And while efficient and effective, they don't contribute to the feeling of community we all need to feel whole. So it's no surprise that empathy is dropping:

A recent study at the University of Michigan revealed a dramatic decline in empathy levels among young Americans between 1980 and today, with the steepest drop being in the last ten years. The shift, say researchers, is in part due to more people living alone and spending less time engaged in social and community activities that nurture empathic sensitivity.

And when you feel like you don't belong to a group, health and self-control plummet. If that doesn't register with you maybe that's because when you feel disconnected, your IQ drops too:

When people's sense of social connectedness is threatened, their ability to self-regulate suffers; for instance their IQ performance drops (Baumeister, Twenge, & Nuss, 2002). Feeling lonely predicts early death as much as major health risk behaviors like smoking (Cacioppo & Patrick, 2008).

I know what some people are thinking: But I have friends. Got a bunch of 'em, actually.

That ain't the issue, Bubba. We're talking about a community. A group. A band of brothers. A syndicate of sisters. Your fantasy football league. Your sewing circle. Your drug cartel.

But they're all relationships, right? Maybe the difference isn't clear. So what's the difference?

Well, I'm so glad you asked…

It's all about Danish churches

Research shows Denmark is home to the happiest people in the world. (Hamlet was, apparently, an exception.) And pretty much everywhere, religious people are happier than the nonreligious.

Both are due to being in a community. 92% of Danes are part of some kind of group:

The sociologist Ruut Veenhoven and his team have collected happiness data from ninety-one countries, representing two-thirds of the world's population. He has concluded that Denmark is home to the happiest people in the world, with Switzerland close behind… Interestingly enough, one of the more detailed points of the research found that 92 percent of the people in Denmark are members of some sort of group, ranging from sports to cultural interests.

And the happiness effects of religion?

We find little evidence that other private or subjective aspects of religiosity affect life satisfaction independent of attendance and congregational friendship.

Membership has its privileges and we ain't just talking about smiles. Seems like everybody is yakking about "grit" these days. (Apparently, the subject of grit promotes grit, but only when it comes to talking about grit more often.)

What promotes that resilience? Groups.

Belonging to groups, such as networks of friends, family, clubs and sport teams, improves mental health because groups provide support, help you to feel good about yourself and keep you active. But belonging to many different groups might also help to make you psychologically and physically stronger. People with multiple group memberships cope better when faced with stressful situations such as recovering from stroke and are even more likely to stay cold-free when exposed to the cold virus.

And if happiness and resilience aren't enough for you, let's talk about the ever-popular benefit of not dropping dead:

Julianne Holt-Lunstad, Ph.D., professor of psychology at Brigham Young University, did a meta-analysis of 148 studies and concluded that a lack of social support predicts all causes of death. People with a solid group of friends are 50 percent more likely to survive at any given time than those without one.

Okay, groups are good — to say the least. But maybe the local bowling league doesn't seem that appealing…

Gleb Leonov/Strelka Institute/Flickr

(To learn more about the science of a successful life, check out my new book here.)

So how do you start your own little community? What's it take to form a group of friends and get all those wonderful benefits? Here's what the research says:

1. Regular meetings

Drinking Tang once does not make you an astronaut. And one get-together is not a community; it's a party.

If you don't have regular, consistent meetings, the thing is probably going to fall apart and you certainly won't get the bonding, trust and all them good "feels" that you're wanting.

Two of the biggest boosters to overall well-being are exercise and religious attendance. It's because both give consistent, scheduled benefits:

We suggest that while major events may not provide lasting increases in well-being, certain seemingly minor events – such as attending religious services or exercising – may do so by providing small but frequent boosts: if people engage in such behaviors with sufficient frequency, they may cumulatively experience enough boosts to attain higher well-being.

It's comical when you think about it. We have set work hours. Hair appointments get scheduled. But often when it comes to relationships — you know, that one thing that pretty much every variety of religion, philosophy and scientific paper all agree makes life worthwhile — that's the area where, ehhhh, we just kinda wing it… Does that make any kind of sense?

Priorities, people, priorities.

Seeing friends and family regularly is the equivalent of making an extra $97,265 per year:

So, an individual who only sees his or her friends or relatives less than once a month to never at all would require around an extra £63,000 a year to be just as satisfied with life as an individual who sees his or her friends or relatives on most days.

So make a plan. Set a schedule. Once a week, once a month, whatever. But consistency is key.

(To learn the 3 secrets from neuroscience that will make you emotionally intelligent, click here.)

Okay, you've got a schedule. But who is coming? Time to play recruiter. For a solid group, what kind of people do you want to invite?

2. Who makes you feel good? Whom do you admire?

You want people who make you feel good. Yeah, I know. Obvious. But it's worth repeating.

You know why old people are so happy and mellow? The research shows it's because they've deliberately pruned their social circles over the years:

Other studies have discovered that as people age, they seek out situations that will lift their moods — for instance, pruning social circles of friends or acquaintances who might bring them down.

Often times we include people because we "should" and this can lead to problems. Spending time with fake friends — or "frenemies" — is worse than spending time with real enemies:

Friends that we feel ambivalently about raise our blood pressure more — cause more anxiety and stress — than people we actively dislike.

And you want to have people in the clan who you admire. People you aspire to be like. Because you are going to become similar to the people around you — like it or not.

The Longevity Project, which studied over 1000 people from youth to death had this to say:

The groups you associate with often determine the type of person you become. For people who want improved health, association with other healthy people is usually the strongest and most direct path of change.

When I spoke to Stanford professor Bob Sutton for my book, he told me his #1 piece of advice to students was this:

When you take a job take a long look at the people you're going to be working with — because the odds are you're going to become like them, they are not going to become like you.

Who do you like and who do you look up to? There's your squad.

Tech Hub/Flickr

(To learn the seven-step morning ritual that will make you happy all day, click here.)

Alright, we know you want to be surrounded by people you want to be like and people you feel good around. So what's the next step?

3. Struggle, help, and celebrate

So what's your group gonna do? Hopefully something you all enjoy. But if you want to accelerate the bonding process, make it something with a touch of struggle to it.

Sports, games, volunteer work, or building something all qualify. I'm not saying you all have to get together to have an Amish barn raising… but it's not a terrible idea, either. Do something interactive and struggle a bit:

Anthropologist Dimitris Xygalatas (say that three times fast) found that groups that went through "high-ordeals" bonded far more than those that went through "low-ordeals." Struggling together made people closer. This is why fraternities haze. Why soldiers feel like they are kin.

And help each other. You surrounded yourself with people you admire, right? Great. They're gonna rub off on you. But there's almost always a way for you to give back and bring value to their lives as well.

And this may surprise you but the people who live the longest aren't the ones who receive the most help — they're the people who give the most help:

Beyond social network size, the clearest benefit of social relationships came from helping others. Those who helped their friends and neighbors, advising and caring for others, tended to live to old age.

And after you struggle, after you've given and received help, celebrate your successes. It's no big shocker, but leading happiness researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky has shown that sharing our achievements with others and celebrating boosts well-being:

Sharing successes and accomplishments with others has been shown to be associated with elevated pleasant emotions and well-being. So, when you or your spouse or cousin or best friend wins an honor, congratulate him or her (and yourself ), and celebrate.

(To learn the 4 rituals from neuroscience that will make you happy, click here.)

Okay, we've covered a lot on what your little group needs to survive and thrive. Let's round it up and see how this plays out in the long term…

Sum up

You can build a great group by:

Consistent get-togethers: Leaving happiness to chance is an excellent way to be unhappy. If you can make a dentist appointment, you can make an appointment to enjoy "Game of Thrones" together every week.

Recruit people you like and people you look up to: If you don't like anyone and think everyone is beneath you, create an Antisocial Narcissists Club. (Nobody will come but everyone will think they deserve to be the leader.)

Struggle, help and celebrate: Build or make something. Engage in friendly competition. Help each other. And when you succeed, party like rockstars.

Nobody wants deathbed regrets and everyone would like a good life.

When people are dying, what do they regret the most? Coming in at #4 is: "I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends." A group is a way to solve the problem efficiently and on a consistent basis. Oh, and it's a lot of freakin' fun.

How do you live a good life? Well, The Grant Study has followed a group of 268 men for over 80 years. They have learned a lot about what does and doesn't make for a good life.

George Vaillant led much of their work. He was asked, "What have you learned from the Grant Study men?" Vaillant's response?

That the only thing that really matters in life are your relationships to other people.

So make a plan to get together regularly with your community…

Waiting for the next war is just so lazy.

Join over 320,000 readers. Get a free weekly update via email here.

NOW WATCH: The world's largest pyramid is not in Egypt

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[foursprout-blog]

This Is The Fun Way To A Meaningful Life: 3 Secrets Backed By Research

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/happiness/this-is-the-fun-way-to-a-meaningful-life-3-secrets-backed-by-research/

This Is The Fun Way To A Meaningful Life: 3 Secrets Backed By Research

***

Before we commence with the festivities, I wanted to thank everyone for helping my first book become a Wall Street Journal bestseller. To check it out, click here.

***

Sometimes we all feel anxious. Sometimes lonely or disconnected. Sometimes unhappy, and maybe even a little crazy. You know what might fix all of this?

Would you believe me if I said… a war?

From Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging:

The positive effects of war on mental health were first noticed by the great sociologist Emile Durkheim, who found that when European countries went to war, suicide rates dropped. Psychiatric wards in Paris were strangely empty during both world wars, and that remained true even as the German army rolled into the city in 1940. Researchers documented a similar phenomenon during civil wars in Spain, Algeria, Lebanon, and Northern Ireland. An Irish psychologist named H. A. Lyons found that suicide rates in Belfast dropped 50 percent during the riots of 1969 and 1970, and homicide and other violent crimes also went down. Depression rates for both men and women declined abruptly during that period, with men experiencing the most extreme drop in the most violent districts. County Derry, on the other hand—which suffered almost no violence at all—saw male depression rates rise rather than fall.

Hold on a second before you send me that angry email. I’m not really suggesting war as a solution to any of our emotional ills. God forbid.

But, that said: what the heck is going on here? Wars are supposed to be bad, right?

Why are people feeling less depressed, less crazy, less violent and less suicidal when something we can all agree is horrible and life threatening is happening around them?

Because war and natural disasters force people to unite together. To help others. To act as a community.

From Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging:

“When people are actively engaged in a cause their lives have more purpose… with a resulting improvement in mental health,” Lyons wrote in the Journal of Psychosomatic Research in 1979. “It would be irresponsible to suggest violence as a means of improving mental health, but the Belfast findings suggest that people will feel better psychologically if they have more involvement with their community.”

We need a community to feel good. And community is something we sorely lack in the modern world. Sadly, we often only feel it these days when forced to.

From Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging:

Modern society has perfected the art of making people not feel necessary.

Many of us live alone. We’re often surrounded by strangers rather than family or friends. We communicate by text rather than face to face. We hire a service instead of getting the help of a buddy.

These are new developments in the existence of Homo Sapiens. And while efficient and effective, they don’t contribute to the feeling of community we all need to feel whole. So it’s no surprise that empathy is dropping:

A recent study at the University of Michigan revealed a dramatic decline in empathy levels among young Americans between 1980 and today, with the steepest drop being in the last ten years. The shift, say researchers, is in part due to more people living alone and spending less time engaged in social and community activities that nurture empathic sensitivity.

And when you feel like you don’t belong to a group, health and self-control plummet. If that doesn’t register with you maybe that’s because when you feel disconnected, your IQ drops too:

When people’s sense of social connectedness is threatened, their ability to self-regulate suffers; for instance their IQ performance drops (Baumeister, Twenge, & Nuss, 2002). Feeling lonely predicts early death as much as major health risk behaviors like smoking (Cacioppo & Patrick, 2008).

I know what some people are thinking: But I have friends. Got a bunch of ’em, actually.

That ain’t the issue, Bubba. We’re talking about a community. A group. A band of brothers. A syndicate of sisters. Your fantasy football league. Your sewing circle. Your drug cartel.

But they’re all relationships, right? Maybe the difference isn’t clear. So what’s the difference?

Well, I’m so glad you asked…

  It’s All About Danish Churches

Research shows Denmark is home to the happiest people in the world. (Hamlet was, apparently, an exception.) And pretty much everywhere, religious people are happier than the nonreligious.

Both are due to being in a community. 92% of Danes are part of some kind of group:

The sociologist Ruut Veenhoven and his team have collected happiness data from ninety-one countries, representing two-thirds of the world’s population. He has concluded that Denmark is home to the happiest people in the world, with Switzerland close behind… Interestingly enough, one of the more detailed points of the research found that 92 percent of the people in Denmark are members of some sort of group, ranging from sports to cultural interests.

And the happiness effects of religion?

We find little evidence that other private or subjective aspects of religiosity affect life satisfaction independent of attendance and congregational friendship.

Membership has its privileges and we ain���t just talking about smiles. Seems like everybody is yakking about “grit” these days.  (Apparently, the subject of grit promotes grit, but only when it comes to talking about grit more often.)

What promotes that resilience? Groups.

Belonging to groups, such as networks of friends, family, clubs and sport teams, improves mental health because groups provide support, help you to feel good about yourself and keep you active. But belonging to many different groups might also help to make you psychologically and physically stronger. People with multiple group memberships cope better when faced with stressful situations such as recovering from stroke and are even more likely to stay cold-free when exposed to the cold virus.

And if happiness and resilience aren’t enough for you, let’s talk about the ever-popular benefit of not dropping dead:

Julianne Holt-Lunstad, Ph.D., professor of psychology at Brigham Young University, did a meta-analysis of 148 studies and concluded that a lack of social support predicts all causes of death. People with a solid group of friends are 50 percent more likely to survive at any given time than those without one.

Okay, groups are good — to say the least. But maybe the local bowling league doesn’t seem that appealing…

(To learn more about the science of a successful life, check out my new book here.)

So how do you start your own little community? What’s it take to form a group of friends and get all those wonderful benefits? Here’s what the research says:

  1) Regular Meetings

Drinking Tang once does not make you an astronaut. And one get-together is not a community; it’s a party.

If you don’t have regular, consistent meetings, the thing is probably going to fall apart and you certainly won’t get the bonding, trust and all them good “feels” that you’re wanting.

Two of the biggest boosters to overall well-being are exercise and religious attendance. It’s because both give consistent, scheduled benefits:

We suggest that while major events may not provide lasting increases in well-being, certain seemingly minor events – such as attending religious services or exercising – may do so by providing small but frequent boosts: if people engage in such behaviors with sufficient frequency, they may cumulatively experience enough boosts to attain higher well-being.

It’s comical when you think about it. We have set work hours. Hair appointments get scheduled. But often when it comes to relationships — you know, that one thing that pretty much every variety of religion, philosophy and scientific paper all agree makes life worthwhile — that’s the area where, ehhhh, we just kinda wing it… Does that make any kind of sense?

Priorities, people, priorities.

Seeing friends and family regularly is the equivalent of making an extra $97,265 per year:

So, an individual who only sees his or her friends or relatives less than once a month to never at all would require around an extra £63,000 a year to be just as satisfied with life as an individual who sees his or her friends or relatives on most days.

So make a plan. Set a schedule. Once a week, once a month, whatever. But consistency is key.

(To learn the 3 secrets from neuroscience that will make you emotionally intelligent, click here.)

Okay, you’ve got a schedule. But who is coming? Time to play recruiter. For a solid group, what kind of people do you want to invite?

  2) Who makes you feel good? Whom do you admire?

You want people who make you feel good. Yeah, I know. Obvious. But it’s worth repeating.

You know why old people are so happy and mellow? The research shows it’s because they’ve deliberately pruned their social circles over the years:

Other studies have discovered that as people age, they seek out situations that will lift their moods — for instance, pruning social circles of friends or acquaintances who might bring them down.

Often times we include people because we “should” and this can lead to problems. Spending time with fake friends — or “frenemies” — is worse than spending time with real enemies:

Friends that we feel ambivalently about raise our blood pressure more — cause more anxiety and stress — than people we actively dislike.

And you want to have people in the clan who you admire. People you aspire to be like. Because you are going to become similar to the people around you — like it or not.

The Longevity Project, which studied over 1000 people from youth to death had this to say:

The groups you associate with often determine the type of person you become. For people who want improved health, association with other healthy people is usually the strongest and most direct path of change.

When I spoke to Stanford professor Bob Sutton for my book, he told me his #1 piece of advice to students was this:

When you take a job take a long look at the people you’re going to be working with — because the odds are you’re going to become like them, they are not going to become like you.

Who do you like and who do you look up to? There’s your squad.

(To learn the seven-step morning ritual that will make you happy all day, click here.)

Alright, we know you want to be surrounded by people you want to be like and people you feel good around. So what’s the next step?

  3) Struggle, Help, And Celebrate

So what’s your group gonna do? Hopefully something you all enjoy. But if you want to accelerate the bonding process, make it something with a touch of struggle to it.

Sports, games, volunteer work, or building something all qualify. I’m not saying you all have to get together to have an Amish barn raising… but it’s not a terrible idea, either. Do something interactive and struggle a bit:

Anthropologist Dimitris Xygalatas (say that three times fast) found that groups that went through “high-ordeals” bonded far more than those that went through “low-ordeals.” Struggling together made people closer. This is why fraternities haze. Why soldiers feel like they are kin.

And help each other. You surrounded yourself with people you admire, right? Great. They’re gonna rub off on you. But there’s almost always a way for you to give back and bring value to their lives as well.

And this may surprise you but the people who live the longest aren’t the ones who receive the most help — they’re the people who give the most help:

Beyond social network size, the clearest benefit of social relationships came from helping others. Those who helped their friends and neighbors, advising and caring for others, tended to live to old age.

And after you struggle, after you’ve given and received help, celebrate your successes. It’s no big shocker, but leading happiness researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky has shown that sharing our achievements with others and celebrating boosts well-being:

Sharing successes and accomplishments with others has been shown to be associated with elevated pleasant emotions and well-being. So, when you or your spouse or cousin or best friend wins an honor, congratulate him or her (and yourself ), and celebrate.

(To learn the 4 rituals from neuroscience that will make you happy, click here.)

Okay, we’ve covered a lot on what your little group needs to survive and thrive. Let’s round it up and see how this plays out in the long term…

  Sum Up

You can build a great group by:

Consistent get-togethers: Leaving happiness to chance is an excellent way to be unhappy. If you can make a dentist appointment, you can make an appointment to enjoy “Game of Thrones” together every week.

Recruit people you like and people you look up to: If you don’t like anyone and think everyone is beneath you, create an Antisocial Narcissists Club. (Nobody will come but everyone will think they deserve to be the leader.)

Struggle, Help and Celebrate: Build or make something. Engage in friendly competition. Help each other. And when you succeed, party like rockstars.

Nobody wants deathbed regrets and everyone would like a good life.

When people are dying, what do they regret the most? Coming in at #4 is: “I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.” A group is a way to solve the problem efficiently and on a consistent basis. Oh, and it’s a lot of freakin’ fun.

How do you live a good life? Well, The Grant Study has followed a group of 268 men for over 80 years. They have learned a lot about what does and doesn’t make for a good life.

George Vaillant led much of their work. He was asked, “What have you learned from the Grant Study men?” Vaillant’s response?

That the only thing that really matters in life are your relationships to other people.

So make a plan to get together regularly with your community…

Waiting for the next war is just so lazy.

Join over 320,000 readers. Get a free weekly update via email here.

Related posts:

New Neuroscience Reveals 4 Rituals That Will Make You Happy

New Harvard Research Reveals A Fun Way To Be More Successful

How To Get People To Like You: 7 Ways From An FBI Behavior Expert

The post This Is The Fun Way To A Meaningful Life: 3 Secrets Backed By Research appeared first on Barking Up The Wrong Tree.

[foursprouthappiness-blog]

This Is The Fun Way To A Meaningful Life: 3 Secrets Backed By Research

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/happiness/this-is-the-fun-way-to-a-meaningful-life-3-secrets-backed-by-research/

This Is The Fun Way To A Meaningful Life: 3 Secrets Backed By Research

***

Before we commence with the festivities, I wanted to thank everyone for helping my first book become a Wall Street Journal bestseller. To check it out, click here.

***

Sometimes we all feel anxious. Sometimes lonely or disconnected. Sometimes unhappy, and maybe even a little crazy. You know what might fix all of this?

Would you believe me if I said… a war?

From Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging:

The positive effects of war on mental health were first noticed by the great sociologist Emile Durkheim, who found that when European countries went to war, suicide rates dropped. Psychiatric wards in Paris were strangely empty during both world wars, and that remained true even as the German army rolled into the city in 1940. Researchers documented a similar phenomenon during civil wars in Spain, Algeria, Lebanon, and Northern Ireland. An Irish psychologist named H. A. Lyons found that suicide rates in Belfast dropped 50 percent during the riots of 1969 and 1970, and homicide and other violent crimes also went down. Depression rates for both men and women declined abruptly during that period, with men experiencing the most extreme drop in the most violent districts. County Derry, on the other hand—which suffered almost no violence at all—saw male depression rates rise rather than fall.

Hold on a second before you send me that angry email. I’m not really suggesting war as a solution to any of our emotional ills. God forbid.

But, that said: what the heck is going on here? Wars are supposed to be bad, right?

Why are people feeling less depressed, less crazy, less violent and less suicidal when something we can all agree is horrible and life threatening is happening around them?

Because war and natural disasters force people to unite together. To help others. To act as a community.

From Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging:

“When people are actively engaged in a cause their lives have more purpose… with a resulting improvement in mental health,” Lyons wrote in the Journal of Psychosomatic Research in 1979. “It would be irresponsible to suggest violence as a means of improving mental health, but the Belfast findings suggest that people will feel better psychologically if they have more involvement with their community.”

We need a community to feel good. And community is something we sorely lack in the modern world. Sadly, we often only feel it these days when forced to.

From Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging:

Modern society has perfected the art of making people not feel necessary.

Many of us live alone. We’re often surrounded by strangers rather than family or friends. We communicate by text rather than face to face. We hire a service instead of getting the help of a buddy.

These are new developments in the existence of Homo Sapiens. And while efficient and effective, they don’t contribute to the feeling of community we all need to feel whole. So it’s no surprise that empathy is dropping:

A recent study at the University of Michigan revealed a dramatic decline in empathy levels among young Americans between 1980 and today, with the steepest drop being in the last ten years. The shift, say researchers, is in part due to more people living alone and spending less time engaged in social and community activities that nurture empathic sensitivity.

And when you feel like you don’t belong to a group, health and self-control plummet. If that doesn’t register with you maybe that’s because when you feel disconnected, your IQ drops too:

When people’s sense of social connectedness is threatened, their ability to self-regulate suffers; for instance their IQ performance drops (Baumeister, Twenge, & Nuss, 2002). Feeling lonely predicts early death as much as major health risk behaviors like smoking (Cacioppo & Patrick, 2008).

I know what some people are thinking: But I have friends. Got a bunch of ’em, actually.

That ain’t the issue, Bubba. We’re talking about a community. A group. A band of brothers. A syndicate of sisters. Your fantasy football league. Your sewing circle. Your drug cartel.

But they’re all relationships, right? Maybe the difference isn’t clear. So what’s the difference?

Well, I’m so glad you asked…

  It’s All About Danish Churches

Research shows Denmark is home to the happiest people in the world. (Hamlet was, apparently, an exception.) And pretty much everywhere, religious people are happier than the nonreligious.

Both are due to being in a community. 92% of Danes are part of some kind of group:

The sociologist Ruut Veenhoven and his team have collected happiness data from ninety-one countries, representing two-thirds of the world’s population. He has concluded that Denmark is home to the happiest people in the world, with Switzerland close behind… Interestingly enough, one of the more detailed points of the research found that 92 percent of the people in Denmark are members of some sort of group, ranging from sports to cultural interests.

And the happiness effects of religion?

We find little evidence that other private or subjective aspects of religiosity affect life satisfaction independent of attendance and congregational friendship.

Membership has its privileges and we ain’t just talking about smiles. Seems like everybody is yakking about “grit” these days.  (Apparently, the subject of grit promotes grit, but only when it comes to talking about grit more often.)

What promotes that resilience? Groups.

Belonging to groups, such as networks of friends, family, clubs and sport teams, improves mental health because groups provide support, help you to feel good about yourself and keep you active. But belonging to many different groups might also help to make you psychologically and physically stronger. People with multiple group memberships cope better when faced with stressful situations such as recovering from stroke and are even more likely to stay cold-free when exposed to the cold virus.

And if happiness and resilience aren’t enough for you, let’s talk about the ever-popular benefit of not dropping dead:

Julianne Holt-Lunstad, Ph.D., professor of psychology at Brigham Young University, did a meta-analysis of 148 studies and concluded that a lack of social support predicts all causes of death. People with a solid group of friends are 50 percent more likely to survive at any given time than those without one.

Okay, groups are good — to say the least. But maybe the local bowling league doesn’t seem that appealing…

(To learn more about the science of a successful life, check out my new book here.)

So how do you start your own little community? What’s it take to form a group of friends and get all those wonderful benefits? Here’s what the research says:

  1) Regular Meetings

Drinking Tang once does not make you an astronaut. And one get-together is not a community; it’s a party.

If you don’t have regular, consistent meetings, the thing is probably going to fall apart and you certainly won’t get the bonding, trust and all them good “feels” that you’re wanting.

Two of the biggest boosters to overall well-being are exercise and religious attendance. It’s because both give consistent, scheduled benefits:

We suggest that while major events may not provide lasting increases in well-being, certain seemingly minor events – such as attending religious services or exercising – may do so by providing small but frequent boosts: if people engage in such behaviors with sufficient frequency, they may cumulatively experience enough boosts to attain higher well-being.

It’s comical when you think about it. We have set work hours. Hair appointments get scheduled. But often when it comes to relationships — you know, that one thing that pretty much every variety of religion, philosophy and scientific paper all agree makes life worthwhile — that’s the area where, ehhhh, we just kinda wing it… Does that make any kind of sense?

Priorities, people, priorities.

Seeing friends and family regularly is the equivalent of making an extra $97,265 per year:

So, an individual who only sees his or her friends or relatives less than once a month to never at all would require around an extra £63,000 a year to be just as satisfied with life as an individual who sees his or her friends or relatives on most days.

So make a plan. Set a schedule. Once a week, once a month, whatever. But consistency is key.

(To learn the 3 secrets from neuroscience that will make you emotionally intelligent, click here.)

Okay, you’ve got a schedule. But who is coming? Time to play recruiter. For a solid group, what kind of people do you want to invite?

  2) Who makes you feel good? Whom do you admire?

You want people who make you feel good. Yeah, I know. Obvious. But it’s worth repeating.

You know why old people are so happy and mellow? The research shows it’s because they’ve deliberately pruned their social circles over the years:

Other studies have discovered that as people age, they seek out situations that will lift their moods — for instance, pruning social circles of friends or acquaintances who might bring them down.

Often times we include people because we “should” and this can lead to problems. Spending time with fake friends — or “frenemies” — is worse than spending time with real enemies:

Friends that we feel ambivalently about raise our blood pressure more — cause more anxiety and stress — than people we actively dislike.

And you want to have people in the clan who you admire. People you aspire to be like. Because you are going to become similar to the people around you — like it or not.

The Longevity Project, which studied over 1000 people from youth to death had this to say:

The groups you associate with often determine the type of person you become. For people who want improved health, association with other healthy people is usually the strongest and most direct path of change.

When I spoke to Stanford professor Bob Sutton for my book, he told me his #1 piece of advice to students was this:

When you take a job take a long look at the people you’re going to be working with — because the odds are you’re going to become like them, they are not going to become like you.

Who do you like and who do you look up to? There’s your squad.

(To learn the seven-step morning ritual that will make you happy all day, click here.)

Alright, we know you want to be surrounded by people you want to be like and people you feel good around. So what’s the next step?

  3) Struggle, Help, And Celebrate

So what’s your group gonna do? Hopefully something you all enjoy. But if you want to accelerate the bonding process, make it something with a touch of struggle to it.

Sports, games, volunteer work, or building something all qualify. I’m not saying you all have to get together to have an Amish barn raising… but it’s not a terrible idea, either. Do something interactive and struggle a bit:

Anthropologist Dimitris Xygalatas (say that three times fast) found that groups that went through “high-ordeals” bonded far more than those that went through “low-ordeals.” Struggling together made people closer. This is why fraternities haze. Why soldiers feel like they are kin.

And help each other. You surrounded yourself with people you admire, right? Great. They’re gonna rub off on you. But there’s almost always a way for you to give back and bring value to their lives as well.

And this may surprise you but the people who live the longest aren’t the ones who receive the most help — they’re the people who give the most help:

Beyond social network size, the clearest benefit of social relationships came from helping others. Those who helped their friends and neighbors, advising and caring for others, tended to live to old age.

And after you struggle, after you’ve given and received help, celebrate your successes. It’s no big shocker, but leading happiness researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky has shown that sharing our achievements with others and celebrating boosts well-being:

Sharing successes and accomplishments with others has been shown to be associated with elevated pleasant emotions and well-being. So, when you or your spouse or cousin or best friend wins an honor, congratulate him or her (and yourself ), and celebrate.

(To learn the 4 rituals from neuroscience that will make you happy, click here.)

Okay, we’ve covered a lot on what your little group needs to survive and thrive. Let’s round it up and see how this plays out in the long term…

  Sum Up

You can build a great group by:

Consistent get-togethers: Leaving happiness to chance is an excellent way to be unhappy. If you can make a dentist appointment, you can make an appointment to enjoy “Game of Thrones” together every week.

Recruit people you like and people you look up to: If you don’t like anyone and think everyone is beneath you, create an Antisocial Narcissists Club. (Nobody will come but everyone will think they deserve to be the leader.)

Struggle, Help and Celebrate: Build or make something. Engage in friendly competition. Help each other. And when you succeed, party like rockstars.

Nobody wants deathbed regrets and everyone would like a good life.

When people are dying, what do they regret the most? Coming in at #4 is: “I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.” A group is a way to solve the problem efficiently and on a consistent basis. Oh, and it’s a lot of freakin’ fun.

How do you live a good life? Well, The Grant Study has followed a group of 268 men for over 80 years. They have learned a lot about what does and doesn’t make for a good life.

George Vaillant led much of their work. He was asked, “What have you learned from the Grant Study men?” Vaillant’s response?

That the only thing that really matters in life are your relationships to other people.

So make a plan to get together regularly with your community…

Waiting for the next war is just so lazy.

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Related posts:

New Neuroscience Reveals 4 Rituals That Will Make You Happy

New Harvard Research Reveals A Fun Way To Be More Successful

How To Get People To Like You: 7 Ways From An FBI Behavior Expert

The post This Is The Fun Way To A Meaningful Life: 3 Secrets Backed By Research appeared first on Barking Up The Wrong Tree.

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The Diamond Rio PMP300: Can this great 18-year-old MP3 player still cut it? I have 64MB of capacity and a parallel port association. This will work.

Do you recollect the times of flicking through racks of CDs on a Saturday evening, searching for the collection of a craftsman you simply found out about, maybe a £3 deal, or even simply cruising for eye-getting covers? Euphoria. While the appearance of the iTunes store everything except finished the requirement for physical media, there was for a brief span a component of boasting rights joined to having a multi-gigabyte music accumulation on your iPod—however even owning advanced music is blurring. Our once-immeasurable music accumulations have been winnowed for advantageous gushing music benefits that give us access to all the music we would ever dream of in only a couple taps.

In any case, would we say we were in an ideal situation some time recently? Will discover.

How about we make MP3s extraordinary once more

My voyage down the MP3 rabbit opening began amid an evening spent thinking back about the different music players I've possessed throughout the years—the iPod Classics, an iRiver H140, a concise stretch with an overlooked 20GB Philips box, and a Rio Riot, the Atari Lynx of disliked MP3 players. Each has an appeal you do not see anymore, now that everything fits into an Android or iOS piece. All things considered, aside from the grouping of bizarre and wacky audiophile players (I'm taking a gander at you Pono Player), some of which could have been shot straight from 1998.My top pick, however, was the Creative Nomad Jukebox, which I purchased in the mid 2000s night-time of stacking solidified livers down at the nearby grocery store. The span of a versatile CD player, it donned a phenomenal 6GB of memory obligingness of a little 1.8-inch hard drive, and was fueled by a Texas Instruments TMS320DA25x ARM processor. It had two line-out jacks, a line-in jack for recording, a parametric equalizer, spatialisation settings, and natural settings that made utilization of Creative's EAX sound augmentations. At the time it was the most capable MP3 player around—at any rate until a specific natural product marked organization got in the activity.

I still strikingly examined what LAME and EAC implied—this piece from the Ars Technica of old clarifies it in detail—and illicitly downloading single tracks off of Napster utilizing a dial-up association and a dodgy US Robotics 56K modem. Obstructing the telephone line was an across the country leisure activity for a considerable length of time.

But instead than swing to the generally refined Creative Nomad (hello, this thing had a Firewire port on it all things considered) for my excursion down MP3 a world of fond memories, I settled on something more well known: the brilliant Diamond Rio PMP300. It is the MP3 player frequently wrongly refered to as the main that was industrially accessible. It wasn't—that honor has a place with the MPMan—however it's most likely the soonest one that many will perceive. The question is, 18 years after it was initially discharged, can PMP300 could stand its ground as a MP3 player in 2016?

The pre iPod

The Rio PMP300 was discharged in 1998, just about 10 years before the iPhone, when the normal UK home broadband speed was around 33.6Kbps—very nearly a thousand circumstances slower than today's normal of 28.9Mbps. This was before the principal iPod, or in reality any extensive limit MP3 players existed. The possibility of a music jukebox that could hold everything is the thing that guided me into the possibility of a MP3 player, however it was really littler limit gadgets like the Rio PMP300 that set up the class. Rio's first form of the PMP300 had only 32MB memory, enough for 60 minutes of tunes—not even a full album.That's at a tightfisted 128Kbps bitrate as well. These days you can make not too bad sounding documents in light of present conditions, yet in 1998 encoding choices were significantly more constrained. Consistent bitrate MP3 records at 128Kbps in 1998 were dependably very nearly transforming cymbals into outsider sounding advanced jumbles, and making even the most capable of artists sound like they were singing into a container of can roll. How we endure it—especially given the nature of compact CD players, MiniDiscs, or even tapes—I'll never know.The Rio PMP300 was an early-adopter device. It cost about £150 at dispatch for that half-collection of capacity, however the music business perceived the danger in a split second. One month after the player was discharged, the Recording Industry Association of America documented a suit against Rio in light of the fact that the gadget didn't check for the copyright status of records before playing them. It asserted this was an infringement of the Audio Home Recording Act. The point was to stop Rio offering the PMP300 through and through. The RIAA needed DRM in MP3s appropriate from the begin, which isn't amazing, however the condition of advanced music today would be altogether different had the RIAA won its case back in the 90s.

All things considered, while the case was tossed out before long, the RIAA at last had its way over the long haul. Today's music spilling administrations are bolted behind month to month memberships, and even free promotion upheld administrations may soon disappear.The marvels of the Internet

I must hand it to the Internet; in spite of the age of the PMP300, I was as yet ready to purchase a fresh out of the box new, cellophane-in place gadget specifically from an outsider merchant on Amazon. Yes, the AA battery inside the crate was a solidified wellbeing peril, however it resembled opening a period case from another time. There are thick manuals, driver CDs, and ports the majority of us haven't touched for well over 10 years. It appears to be odd that a MP3 player can appear to be more similar to an Encino Man now than a record turntable.

Looking each piece the antecedent to Apple's first iPod, the PMP300 highlights catches masterminded around underneath a show. There's volume here and there, a randomize catch (extraordinary for randomizing those six entire tracks you've exchanged), a rehash catch, a puzzling A/B catch, and the typical play, skip, and stop buttons.My rendition is the "unique version," which accompanies a lavish 64MB of capacity and a "translucent greenish blue" packaging flaunting the toy-like circuit sheets. Be that as it may, would you be able to envision utilizing this still? At 109g it's lighter than generally telephones. Furthermore, the thick belt cut on the back makes it a prime focus for trendy person re-reception. Trinket quality aside, however, I really needed utilize this AA-fueled, SmartMedia-card-pressing relic. Be that as it may, getting the darn thing to work turned into a stark indication of exactly how simple we have it nowadays.

The Rio PMP300 was discharged in a period before USB. Mice and consoles would utilize a PS/2 connector, while printers and different peripherals utilized incredible huge 25-stick parallel ports. The PMP300 not just uses a parallel port connector as thick as the player itself, additionally an exclusive link. To lose it is to leave your PMP300 as a block that'll just play The Prodigy's Fat Of The Land, or whatever else you may have stacked onto a MP3 player in 1998.

Fundamentally, in case you're grumbling about how USB Type-C gadgets mean you need to purchase another £5 save link off of eBay, perhaps it's an ideal opportunity to check your benefit.

Kids today

My thought was to approach utilizing the PMP300 like an entitled Windows 10 millennial—with zero preplanning. As none of my working PCs had an on-board parallel port, a trek to Maplin was keeping in mind the end goal to attach the two gadgets—and I rose with the wrong link. Ten years of tech news-casting and a youth of baffled tinkering with config.sys documents to make magazine floppy circle diversion demos work still wasn't sufficient for me to take care of business first time.

Next stop: eBay, which we additionally didn't have the advantage of in 1998. The sale site has been around since 1995, yet even it didn't dispatch in the UK until 1999. The 90s are looking more terrible and more regrettable, what with no iPhone, no eBay, most likely no broadband, just parts and bunches of parallel ports. Satisfying its part as the closest companion you kinda loathe, the main parallel-port-to-USB link I requested from eBay was lost in the post. A unimportant three weeks after the fact I had the re-requested link. Time to get started.With weeks to spend tapping my fingers, I had done a touch of research by this point. Not exclusively do the portable workstations and desktops I right now have entry to do not have the optical drive expected to introduce the driver CD, Rio didn't offer help for the PMP300 past Windows 98. This highlights a few 90s-period registering issues the vast majority of us have had the advantage of overlooking: the driver procedure is presently so programmed it's adequately undetectable, and nowadays you once in a while observe famous contraptions that offer a huge number of units see their support vanish practically when the discharge buzz has faded away. Windows 2000 arrived under year and a half after the PMP300, yet it isn't bolstered!

Much the same as today, however, what the enormous organizations don't give, the group does. About six ventures to include PMP300 bolster for Windows XP and past have flown up throughout the years. RIOsitude is the fundamental one, the work of Indie diversion engineer Drilian, regardless it takes a shot at Windows 10. Indeed, kind of. Subsequent to attempting all the similarity modes Windows 10 brings to the table, my Rio PMP300 still wasn't being seen by the program. What took after was a day of attempting to motivate Windows to perceive the player. I even began with an old portable PC filled with malware and whose dodgy show association left the base inch of the screen a twisted wreckage, the begin bar darkened. Still no happiness.

Next up I had a go at running local with a virtual Windows 98 machine running on a MacBook utilizing Oracle VM VirtualBox, dumping the PMP300 right onto home turf. Yet, when notwithstanding attempting to get USB drivers to work brought about Windows 98 to hang at the logo screen, I chose to sack the entire attempt off and go for a raced to sweat out the worry of those late 90s tech cerebral pain flashbacks.