#except when it's my brother's art. so. idk maybe it was just me he hated. it doesn't matter i guess

[returntotheground]

you know, i thought i hadn't let my dad's constant criticism of my art sink in as a kid because i pretty much always responded to his awfulness by doubling down on whatever he criticized but. uhhh. now that i'm trying to get back into art i'm realizing that doesn't seem to be true

[cartoonsinthemorning]

Ford and stan portal adventures

This is too vague for me to draw, BUT I can yap about it at length. Let's say this is an AU were, after their canonical fight, and activation of the portal, the diverge is that they BOTH get snatched inside. So we have a slowburn scenario were the 28yo twins end up in the multiverse together, having to rely on each other to survive in these bizarro worlds despite hating each other guts, but gradually mending their relationship. Best part of this scenario would be the sexual tension, at the beginning, when they keep have shouting matches but you can tell in good part it's to mask the frustration, because they missed each other and secretly want to make out. They would settle for more punching, turned wrestling match on the floor, turned wrestling with less clothes on. OH and you know what else would be fun, if this was a fanfic written by someone with crazy skills?? If, by the time they finally start to fuck regularly, the weird ass world they end up boning in is somehow integrated into the act. Idk idk, head empty, I can't come up with an example. But my imaginary Chad Writer would come up with something genius.

Now though. Funny coinky-dence that I'm answering to your message now, because just today I've seen a somewhat related fan art that really got my gears going:

So, dude58915 on twitter came up with this version, were 28yo Mullet Stan gets into the portal instead of Ford, but, once there, meets a much older Ford, from yet another dimension. NOW THAT'S what I want to see!! DAMN.

Imagine Stan seeing this masked dude- a suspicious bloke for sure- but still a HUMAN. He'd run after him, telling the mysterious man they should stick together, be a team! He's the only human he's ever seen in DAYS, since he ended up in this creepy shithole! And old!Ford just jerks his arm free from Stan's desperate grip, telling the younger man, coldly, that he's gonna have to make it on his own, before turning around to follow the coordinates on his multi-navigator, leaving Stan alone. Because Ford hates him. Ford hates Stan, even this one, even this Stan that evidently ended up in the portal, punished for his own stupid mistakes, for once. This Stan will die, and he deserves it, and Ford doesn't care. Expect that when he hears Stan scream, as he's getting attacked by some monster, Ford turns around and runs to save him.

And from that moment on, this Ford takes Stan under his wing, taking him to the next dimension with him. Ford's plan is to train this Stan decently enough- all the while keeping his own identity concealed- until the young man is able to fend for himself, and Ford will abandon him for real, this time.

Except that...this Stan doesn't know who Ford is, so he doesn't express any resentment or hate towards him. On the contrary: despite the old men being so cold and sometimes rude to him, resulting in /some/ shouting matches, Stan is grateful, and clearly fascinated by the cloaked man and his knowledge and fighting skills. Stan is like a clingy puppy...and Ford loves it. He would never EVER admit it to himself, but he does. He didn't feel this pleased, this important, in forever. And maybe, he's never seen Stann look at him with this level of adoration before, not even when they were kids. I'm gonna cut it short to the crass part: Stan has daddy issues, and gets incredibly attached to Ford, wants to please him. The "masked man" would inevitably get the hardest boner, feeling so needed, so special, the Sun itself that Stan gravitates around. They'd fuck. HELL, they'd end up making tender love, sometimes. And Ford would need to be extra careful, because he enjoys this docile, obedient Stan sucking his cock (figuratively and physically), and it would be a real shame if Stan was to find out it's just another version of his hated brother, he's ended up worshipping and taking inside him every night. Ford guesses the young man would be quite mad about the truth.

And with this ominous cliffhanger, I'll stop yapping, it's dinner time.

[pumpkinpie59]

i think i’m enjoying the fontaine story now that i’m playing genshin again so here’s my thoughts on the new characters

-furina. i feel bad for her but i’m not a fan of her va. but i normally turn my sound off when i play so looking at just her writing,,,,,, i think she’s a fine character. the twist was interesting and i don’t fault furina for anything that happened. her being a drama queen but it being entirely a mask she puts on is fascinating. i don’t like focalors tho. she did furina so dirty

-neuvillette is kinda just vibin. he’s fine he’s likable. he doesn’t rlly stand out to me much except that i’m convinced he’s gay. i don’t ship him with anyone tho (most other characters are wayyyyy too young for him so i dislike seeing any ship art of him). i like to think of him as furina’s older brother.

-lyney. um. meh? he’s a good big brother but that’s all i rlly care about him. also he dresses like a slut? and his va is kinda annoying to me idk fjdksk

-lynette. kinda same as her twin. i appreciate that the twins are separate characters bc the trope where twins act exactly the same is a pet peeve of mine. i like that lynette is an introvert. idk that’s all i have to say.

-freminet. i don’t like his design. i’m so tired of the shorter guy characters wearing shorts and being treated like children. but as for his writing. it’s cool. i like that he’s the twins’ younger brother. i like how the plot actually addresses how much danger he was put in.

-charlotte. YOOOO NEWS REPORTER CHARACTER LETS GOOO!! she reminds me sm of april o’neil i love her.

-wriothesley. at first sight i thought he was a basic bad boy werewolf lookin weirdo (my demi butt can’t ever find thirst trap characters attractive lmao). but then i heard him talk,,,, and yeah his voice actor is genuinely a good actor???? i don’t like most of the anime-esque voice acting in this game, and the dramatic dialogue doesn��t help, but wriothesley’s voice actor actually tries to make it believable that his character is a person. and i respect that. and yeah um his backstory is darker than i expected,,,,

-arlecchino. she’s neat i like her aesthetic.

-clorinde. …….. finally a genshin character who doesn’t speak multiple paragraphs at a time LMAO. i like her so far. i kinda ship her with wriothesley tbh ,,, 👉👈 idk i like how often they work together.

-sigewinne. um. i don’t rlly like the child characters. also they were cowards for making her look human and not tHE LITERAL SPECIES SHE IS UGH-

-navia. SAVING THE BEST CHARACTER FOR LAST. bro i was blown away with how much respect and care they put into navia’s writing. her grief felt so real and i could not believe they put her through that much. she’s also so pretty and her design is so aesthetically pleasing. and tbh i hate seeing sm ship art under her name bc she’s too good for everyone lmaooo she’s great. i’m in love. she’s the best fontaine character (and maybe the best genshin character).

also i wanna say i did not expect for this chapter to have this much death and other dark themes. ik fontaine is the land of justice and court cases but man,,,,, tragic,,,,,

[pinyeti]

overwhelming day today here's the debrief

I have two humongous final projects both worth half my grade due on Wednesday and im losing my mind AND I HAVE A PAPER DUE TOMORROW MORNING AT 8AM AND I HAV.E AMIDTERM TOMORROW AT 3.30Pn, my groups suck for both projects and THEY JUST

MY GOD

I DONT MIND DOING ALL THW WORK EXCEPT IM GENUINELY SO FUCKIN TIRED OF DOING ALL THE FUCKIN WORK ALL THE FUCKING TIME AND IM SO SICK OF IT AND IM SO FUCKIN SICK OF IT IM SO FUCIN TIRED OF DOING THIS ALL THE FUCKIN TIME

and I just

I have this friend who im kinda close too but she's curt with me sometimes and we are kinda rude to each other as a joke but she just

she's rude to me sometimes on purpose and I dont know why and I just feel like she hates me and won't tell me why and I JUST I do love her and it bothers me ig and Ive had alot of issues with this friend and every time I try to solve anything

yeah

and I am having a huge body image attack which isn't that deep but whatever and my brother wlel

he's got every mental illness on the planet and makes my life a living hell I get being mentally ill makes life difficult for you but YOU CANNOT EXPECT ME TO SEE THEM AS MORE THAN EXPLANATIONS FOR YOUR BEHAVIOUR RATHER THAN A FUCKIN EXCUSE?? IM NOT EXCUSING YOU TELLING ME YOU WANT ME T

pk

okay and then

today was another friends birthday and she was so

we made a whole birthday surprise thing for her and I went to alot of effort to do it and she just I invited her boyfriend and one of her other friend and she sprent the whole time talking to them and making it awkward for everyone else and I

she was like send pictures? and it just bothered me cuz she went out of her way to make it look like she hated them and if thats so then ill just not invite her to things??? cuz wth I do like my friends and this is really fuckin inconsiderate and we had karaoke but there was an issue with the mic and she was just

being really weird about ti and I felt kinda disrespected and she really doesnt fuckin care

and im so sick of this and

its like she just tolerates them for pictures and it was weird and idk

maybe I dont like her as much as I thought and maybe im the problem cuz I really tried to make it special for her and she just

she was just not having it and I tried so hard and I wish I didnt cuz I felt so stupid for caring about mics cuz when she left the rest of us were singing nd it wasn't awkward and clean up was fun even

and the thing with happened with the friend that was curt with me earlier she just we found out a guy we knew was spreading rumors about her sexuality ( his friend group did this to me first) so I asked her about it and she said yea that guy confessed to her and she told him she didnt like him like that but also that her and my other friend fought cuz this guy was being weird and I was BUSY BABYSITITNG MY FUCKIN GROUP AT THE TIME AND WE COULDNT PROPERLY TALK ABOUT IT so I called her when I got home and she got so weird and defensive about it like I was crazy and I just

I hate when she does this and I hate that I care about her more than she cares about me

in fact I know this is toxic as fuck and caring isnt measured on scales

bUT I HAVE THIS PROBLEM

I DO

I CARE TOO FUCKIN MUCH AND I WISH I COULD STOP AND I WISH I COULD EAT MY BRAIN UP CUZ IM SO SICK OF CARING OHMYGOD I WISH I COULD JSUT END MY FUC

OH AND

IM DOING 2 MURALS RIGHT

BUT MY IPAD CRASH LEFT ONE OHUGE FUCKIN MURAL GONE FOREVER

AND I DONT HAVE THE 720CM VERSION OF IT AND I HAVENT TOLD THEM YET AND

AND I HATE MY ART AND

I am president of a club and WE GOT OUR FUCKIN BUDGET REJECTED SO IM OUT A BUNCH OF MONEY FOR NO REASON AND IM SO SICK

I need a break

I need a break

[goosewriting]

yesterday i finally watched the new tmnt movie!! at first i wanted to do a live reaction kinda thing, except that wouldn’t work because i'd have to reblog every entry and hiding every single part under a "read more" would be not only tedious, but i'm not even sure if it's possible lol

so instead have a collection of my thoughts here! (spoiler warning, duh)

first of all: the art style. there’s something strangely nostalgic about it. it feels like that is what my mental storyboards as a kid would have looked like, had i been into animating back then. or at least that would have been close to the style i would have liked to emulate.

the explosions looking like violent scribbles is just so 😩🤌♥ chef's kiss, truly. there's something about the art in general that just moves in such a particular way and holds a certain weight and volume,, it feels like cardboard and clay and crayons and the piles upon piles of coloured pencils i used to have as a kid and how the wooden pencil drawer smelled. i'm such a fan of this style i’M obsessed o(-<

in the intro shots for the turtles, raph licking his sai blades is so extra and i love him for that lmao

for some reason i completely forgot they cast jackie chan as splinter and tbh idk how to feel about it? no hate towards him; i just don't think voice acting is his strong suit

meanwhile i'm looooving mikey's voice. also leo's beacuse, well first of all, i am a leo girlie (gender neutral) through and through so i would have loved all aspects of him no matter what. but his voice actor is gumball's i believe? and that's one of my comfort shows 🥺 i just love him sm

this little donnie is sending me, i- 🤣

superfly's theme reminds me of miguel's for some reason? 😂 and i'm here for it ahahh

the whole watermelon scene lmaoo teeangers being teenagers, finally

aaaand here comes the probably forced romance subplot 😅😅 (more on that later)

the whole fighting scene in the workshop tinted in red? ugh 10/10

ok so, april: i really like how they met. i like her design, her voice and her whole vibe. the whole puking jokes were a little too much for me; personally im not a fan of fart or puke jokes because, well, i’m not a 12yo boy (looking at you seth rogen) but all in all i really liked this rendition of april. it sucks tho that the turtles got a snazzy outfit by the end, both for school and for prom, but april’s clothes always remained the same. would have loved to see what she wore to prom!

the gen z lingo and references: …i mean, i guess it makes sense? i just don’t know how well it will age xD the references to end game and all were fun but, again, will someone in 15 years understand what they meant? will someone in 15 years know what rizz is?

changing the topic, the way eyeballs are rendered??? hello?? they’re so expressive and shiny and i lowkey wanna lick them ok

the chris pine cutout actually made me choke on my food from both surprise and laughter jhdfkjashdf

oookay so. superfly and his gang. first of all when the gecko talked i went like hey is that ant-man? lmao i love all the designs and ice cube as the villain works?? im not mad?? lol now, his plan however... sigh, my guy. killing all humans aside, have you maybe thought that if you turn every single animal and insect into a mutant, the whole ecosystem would all but collapse? there will be no planet left to belittle the humans on (:

"he'll run out of cars eventually" / *looks at parking* / “oh, c’mon!” lmaoo 😂 this joke was excellent

so, back to the forced romance thing. look i get it, they needed a reason to help out april to get the plot going. and if leo said it, then the rest would follow. i get that. but throughout the whole movie, aside from like his brothers elbowing his side knowingly, there’s no more allusion to anything? and then only at the veeeery end, he asks her out and she says yes, so i was like “oh okay so that’s the payoff then. took long enough” but then when they’re dancing she rhetorically asks if they’re just doing this as friends and 😐 maybe this is just my aroace self projecting but,, if you’re gonna use romance/romantic interest as a catalyst (lame tbh), at least be consequent about it?? if you (the writers) didn’t have the intention to explore the relationship, then leave it altogether? again, this is just my aroace opinion,, i can’t relate so i don’t understand. (which i know seems contradictory given my uh, repertoire of fics lmao) personally i would have preferred a different reason for them to helping out april, and having them all just be besties by the end, which they ended up being anyway

so, to sum it all up. it’s a story we’ve seen a hundred times, so there was really nothing new to it. the plot was okay,, the biggest thing that “bothered” me was superfly’s whole extermination thing making no sense, technically. but other than that, my eyes and ears were having an absolute feast. a very enjoyable film all in all. when we got rottmnt, i was like “oh finally an iteration of the teenage mutant ninja turtles where they’re actually teenagers” but scratch that. mutant mayhem is the most teenager one, and i loved them for that. time will tell how the jokes will age but yeah, the way they were depicted was definitely my favourite thing about the film aside from the art style.

have you guys seen it? what are your thoughts? lemme know :D feel free to comment here or send in some asks!

[thebitterbeanjuice]

FUN TIME YAY

i actually have 2 eughh i hate them. milan and juliette EWEWEW

3. july 29!

7. i got a pupper called bruno

9. almost 5'4 but i wear big shoes so 5'5 in public lmao

12. hm i thinkk i was at school and fandom john laurens was my biology partner for some reason?? he was wearing a red shirt thats all i remmeber

16. anything comforting. my friend vi always tell me to watch ratatouliie or however you spell it

18. i like the idea of teaching some little shit not to be a fascist and not lose hope for the next generation but. that shits stressful idk man

19. no way nonono

20. my parents are so i am most certainly not

21. yes many a time! the food is shit but the nurses are real nice

22. not that i can remember but i am generally disdainful to any law enforcer i come across

24. shower definetly. baths are too confined

30. just the one plus my flattened stuffed bunny (theyre genderfluid and named honey)

31. my side and it messes up my hair every day ugh

33. i dont typically have breakfast but when i do its a granola bar or some variation of that

34. when i was like 4. i almost shot my brother's foot though so never again lmao

35. YES OML I HATED IT AAHHHH my dad said i had awful hand eye coordination which ok rude so his weirdass friend took me to an archery range and they had fake animals to shoot and i went on an animal rights rant for like 4 minutes until they let me shoot a regular target. which serves the same fucking purpose why would you feed the superiority complex of angry white middle aged men with fake fucking animals but. you see why i no longer practice archery

38. i went like 51 hours without sleep one time when my brother was in the hospital i think that was the longest

39. i havee 5 on my arm one on my foot 2 on my face and one on my hand

41. i like to think so but you cant be sure

42. ehhhhhh i get vibes from people but idk

51. only if theyre small

52. chicken nugs. with ranch dressing

53. shawarma my belovedd or any mexican food except quesadillas

54. messy definetly lmao

55. uh. either 'your mom' or 'for fucks sake' but i dont really pay attention to my speech

56. any curse lmao

57. maybe 30 minutes

59. bite i am very impatient (also that smirk emoji)

60. very much yes. at normal speaking volume so it freaks people out

61. not much to myself but if its silent during a conversation i sometimes just bust out like SOO LONGGG AND GOODNIGGHHTTT

63. that my entire philosophy of life is wrong and i have to relearn all my ideals :3

67. unfortunately i needed to in order to pass grade 7 geography so yes

68. maybe art. or english

76. i lead groups in clubs or extracurricalrs sometimes but now like camp counselor or anything

77. couple of times nothing crazy

78. i have not and will not

80. 4 in all, 2 on each ear

83. pretty fucking fast when i gotta

85. light brown. kinda orangey in the light

86. im slightly allergic to certain medicinal drugs but no foods

87. yes!! but i forget to write in it

88. my moms a receptionist at an office place and my dad's an er nurse

90. bullies, bigots, assholes, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, pretentious fuckers of that sort

91. my preferred name i like very much! i hate my given name though ew

92. i always thought a name with a lot of nicknames was cool but none specifically

96. i chose my name cause it vaguely resembles my given name (same first letter) but its different enough that it just kinda feels like me. my nana chose my government name she said it sounded elegant eugh

99. grayish white

100. pink since i was a baby sadly

THERE WE GO PLEASE ENJOY MY STUFFS AND THINGS

[dadkisser15]

I’m actually going to cry why do I miss him so much right now ☹️

He’s asleep and I don’t really want to sleep yet because I want to speak with him but I’m just doomscrolling on TikTok as one does and I decided that I missed his face and opened up my camera roll and he sent me this picture that his brother took of him sleeping earlier and it’s just so cute. Oh there’s tears in my eyes I really really like this man ,,,,,

He just looks so beautiful, he wouldn’t believe me if I told him that but I really do just adore his features. (If we had kids oh my godddd. I know that’s crazy that I’m even thinking that but I CANNOT HELP MYSELFF!!!) I love his eyes and his long lashes, I love his beautiful brown hair (especially when it’s messy) , his cute scruffy facial hair and his side burnnsssssssss. Oh and his nose, especially in the picture i mentioned earlier ohhhh my gosh it just looks so amazing. He dislikes his nose so much and constantly makes jokes about reducing the size of it and it upset me a lot because I really do believe it’s beautiful. To me it’s like a work of art, when I was doing more character art my favorite thing to draw was noses !! His nose shape was literally my favorite type to draw and I feel like that makes him very special. Like, wow this boy I’m insanely infatuated with is quite literally a work of art. I’m still looking at the picture and I didn’t mention earlier but I love his cute little mustache, everytime I look at it I just wonder how it would feel to his him and feel that brush against my lip, would it even? I’m not sure, I kinda forgot how it feels like to kiss someone but I’d love to relearn with him. That feels a tad inappropriate to say but I really do feel that way. I’m not feeling really sad anymore but I’m also just upset by the fact that I was even missing him even though I spoke to him a couple hours ago. He literally told me before going to bed not to miss him too much and i thought to myself, “that’s silly, it’s just a couple hours and I’ll be fine” and I hate to say it but he was right. I hate how he knows how my brain works, well.. I don’t hate it. It’s just embarrassing how predictable I am, maybe I’m just boring but who reallly knows.!!! Oh and I was so upset because he left me on sent for a little while see actually I’m okay with that but I just didn’t know what he was doing and that was upsetting me and because I didn’t know my brain immediately jumped to overthinking so I kinda just upset myself. I know verrry dumb but that’s just how I am, I’m always just thinking of the what’s if and I made myself feel bad for no reason. Maybe I do need a lobotomy but what if my overthinking was right. What do I do then!!!!! Be the other woman ? FUCK NOOOOOO !!!!!! I’d rather get stabbed in the arm five times in the same spot okay wait that actually sounds deranged but listen I just would not like being a second option or some stupid shit like that and my insecurities are just jumping out at me and making me think I am but guys, wtf do I do actually if I am ??? 😨 KMS??? That’s also crazy and dramatic so no but I pray that this boy is not trying to do me dirty because I think I’d genuinely lose my mind. Can we just eviscerate all his female friends? Like genuinely, just treat them like fish or something idk 😜!! Sorry thatsss meannnnnn. He can have female friends i guessss 😒. I personally believe they shouldn’t be doing no corny shit with my boy though like cutesy nicknames or making them match with him like FUCKKKKNOOOOOOOOOO .!! 😭😭😭 THAT ALONE IS 50 FUCKING BODIES.

50 FUCKING BODIES !!!!

Kidding, I can’t do shit about that except SEETHE and that I will do!! I’m currently seething thinking about it right now. God, liking a boy with female friends is not for the weak because I am the weak and I cannot take this. Maybe it’s all the over thinking but this shit making me feel sick to my stomach.hhhhh. Oh my god can god take me right now because the thoughts that are going through my head right now might make me just pass away rn to just meeet him. Oh I wanna cry! WHATEERVEVEGER I’ll stay jealous, mad and seething like crazy. I just wish I could have him in my arms and just have him as mine. If he gets tired yeah he can leave but for now I’d just like to have him. Like ohh calm down guys you can have him back after like 2 weeks just let me have him for a while!!! I just want to treat him good and make him feel good. Ohhhhh guys don’t start throwing up pitchforks just because I want to keep him busy for a while, yall will get him back don’t worry 😒. Jeeeeezzzzzzus! Okay I thought that bit was funny. I’m not saying he should isolate himself or anything but like guys do we need female friends 🙄🙄🙄. Joking JOKINGG PUT THE PITCHFORKS DOWNN GUYS IT WAS A JOKE!!! Anyways I should conclude this dumb rant because nothing about this will change and I will forever be salty. OH MY GOD salty is the perfect way to describe how I’ve been feeling!! It’s like I’m jealous but I can’t do shit so all I can do is let this feeling linger and be salty because I’m very non confrontational at times and especially when I don’t want to be verbal about my feelings. OHH LINGER BY THE CRANBERRIES

DO YOU HAVE TO LET IT LINGERRRRE DO YOU HAVE. TO LET IT LINGERRRR

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

hey um this is a real fucking vent of a post maybe dont read if ur triggered easily by family/abuse stuff. I just had to get it out im sry. its not too coherent

I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him. my dad. one second we're having a normal conversation about art. then he's screaming at me to shut the fuck up, swearing at me, telling me how behind everyone else my age I am, telling me that I DON'T deserve respect or to be treated like a human, mock-bowing to me while laughing at me and saying that I think I'm sooooo important "like some kind of fucking princess" bc I said I don't deserve to be treated like I'm not human. yelling at me over and over to "shut my fucking mouth", saying that this is why I have no friends, why I lose every friendship I care about, and that he can throw me out right now if I keep "pushing it" and he won't care and there's nothing I can do about it. that I don't have real friends and can't name them. that I'm only acting how I am because I'm "on my period and a bit wacky".

....what sparked this? I said I wash underwear in hot water after I buy it, and that it didn't matter if that was "logical" or not bc I only buy new undies once every year or two. that's what sparked this whole thing. that and me saying "How dare you.I don't deserve to be treated this way." when he blew up. ...literally just yesterday he was saying how he's so proud of me and loves me. not even 24 hours ago he was saying that he could see how hard I'm working and that he understands if I need a break because I'm doing so well. ten MINUTES AGO we were talking about art, looking at the bedsheet I'd ordered and he was complimenting my choices and saying he'd put me in charge of buying new sheets for the household soon. TEN MINUTES AGO. what HAPPENED.

...and I know he'll just go back to loving & respecting me after (insert length of time here) when he feels like it, and until then I'll be excluded from all family interactions, treated like a literal threat and monster at all times, called "my abuser" instead of "my daughter", and forced to hide. ...and then I'll be his Amazing Smart Hardworking Daughter again, unless I bring ANY of this up in which case it will go from Bad to Worst and I am now "THE abuser". this is how it goes. this is how it's gone for a decade. why do I always forget this part when things are good. Even if I write it down or record it (THAT WAS A BAD IDEA HE GOT SO PISSED) it feels...fake??? like it just doesn't exist. I am fully aware that this is gaslighting.

I am fully aware that he does this and simultaneously presents himself to the community as an example of RECOVERY from abuse and has CONSIDERED BECOMING A THERAPIST. I don't have shit on him bc I have nowhere else to go, and I'm not in physical danger. staying here until I can get into college and/or get a job IS my best bet, bc while this is traumatic and unpredictable he's fully all bark, no bite. the majority-ish of the time, things are good. He does house and support me despite having just lost his job (though I'm paying for a lot of the groceries- no job here either), and he's actually been really amazing & supportive this year in general... except when he does This.

and GOD does This suck

one day I'll figure out how to stealth-record on my phone... idk why. when things are Bad Like This i want some record to release to our community once I get independent, and blow this lie out of the water. Ik it's ungrateful but like... what the fuck dude

I'm really thankful for what he's doing for me

but what the fuck dude

why

it's going to mean NOTHING in a few hours/days. he's obviously letting out some internal thing that he has no idea how to channel appropriately and nobody else he can aim it at who wont fight back (except my little brother, who has never done anything wrong ever in his life and is ALWAYS dad's "son") (and the dog, who he sometimes threatens to scare until she pees if she's barking like a lunatic at the pizza guy or someone, but he's mostly-joking/ never actually does it because she's "the best dog in the world") (...I'm treated less human then the dog)

but its just so mean

(also obviously if i even raise my voice/tone a TINY BIT at him, or say a word in a way that he percieves as mildy passive-aggresive, that's a trigger for things to go from Good to Bad unless I immediately literally grovel.

...if you want to uhhhh please send funny videos, art DIYS, animals, mythology, the worst most cursed music and/or mashups you know. I could rly use it rn. just rec me something. anything. (not fanfic tho- I'm currently writing my college application essay on fandom's role in modern folklore, so for once I Do Not Want To Hear/Read Any More About It)

[cali-holland]

Sweet as Sugar- Tom Holland One Shot

Pairing: Tom Holland X Reader

Prompt: Tom’s on a strict diet to bulk up, meaning he can’t have sweets… but you keep baking too many desserts for just you and your housemate, so you decide to share with him, your neighbor.

Word Count: 3100

Warnings: low key body positivity issues on tom’s end i mean tom’s on a bulking diet so idk, does that count?? , mentions of sex, maybe swearing

Masterlist   Tom Holland Masterlist

*Gif is not mine*

A/N: i got an ask yesterday that kinda pushed me into completing this fic, so here it is :) enjoy me actually finishing something for once

~~~

“Why do we have baby food in the fridge?” Harry asked, holding up a suspicious looking bottle of yellow slosh.

“That’s my lunch.” Tom grumbled as he came into the kitchen, taking the bottle from his brother. Harry just shrugged and moved along to get his own lunch out, which was leftover nachos from last night.

“Ah, it’s that time of year again.” Harrison laughed when he noticed Tom’s scrunched up nose, trying to drink his protein shake without having it touch his tongue.

“Oh yeah,” Harry chuckled, “You have to bulk up.”

“The rest of the diet is fine. I can handle the cut back on sweets and carbs, but this shit?” Tom held up the yellow drink in his hands, “I hate it.”

“You have fun with that while we enjoy these.” His brother teasingly held up the nachos that Tom desperately wanted to eat, but he knew couldn’t. Instead, he took a drink out of his shake, physically restraining himself from gagging on the flavor. It wasn’t like he could add anything to it to make it taste better; his trainer had a very strict meal plan for him for the next several weeks, and that was accompanied by a very strict exercise routine. He just had to suck it up— literally.

Meanwhile, you let out a sigh as you stood in your kitchen, looking at the two dozen cupcakes you just made. Of course your cousin would cancel her baby shower that you were catering with desserts after you made said desserts. You only had one housemate, and there was no way that the two of you could eat all of them before they go stale.

“Oh no, are they the wrong color?” Your roommate asked, stepping into the kitchen once she saw the frustrated look on your face.

“I just spent hours making these vanilla cupcakes and now the shower’s been canceled. I don’t know what to do with all these cupcakes now.” You explained as you leaned on the counter, eyeing the now unnecessary cupcakes.

“Too many cupcakes— I never thought we’d have that problem.” She laughed. “Why don’t you give them to Tom?”

“Our neighbor?” You looked at her with raised eyebrows.

“I mean, unless you’re into another guy living in that house, but as I recall, Tom’s the only one you can’t talk to.” She said as she picked up a cupcake for herself, “Whoever you give them to, save us a few. I love your baking.”

“There’s no way I’m doing that.” You shook your head at her.

“Come on, this is the perfect excuse to talk to him.” She encouraged you through a mouthful of blue vanilla cupcake.

“No, I can’t just give him cupcakes randomly.”

“Sure you can! The way to a guy’s heart is through his stomach.” She teased. “Look at the guys that live in that house; they can definitely eat two dozen cupcakes before they go stale. You know I’m right.”

“I hate you sometimes.” You grumbled, taking off your apron and putting the cupcakes into your carrier, specially designed for keeping them stable for traveling.

As your housemate continued to eat her cupcake in pure bliss, you made your way to the house next door with your cupcakes in hand. You felt like it was a stupid idea, but you couldn’t let the cupcakes go to waste. With a small sigh, you knocked on your neighbor’s door, hoping that anyone would answer it besides- well, besides Tom, but by the time you thought that, he already had the door open.

The moment you looked into his chocolate brown eyes, you froze, completely blanking on the reason why you’re there. It wasn’t the “you’re a celebrity” shock; it was the “you’re my super attractive neighbor and you’re really nice and you work out in front of your house sometimes and it kills me” shock. Luckily, he was kind enough to save you from furthering your own embarrassment.

“Are those cupcakes?” He asked curiously as he looked down at the container in your hands.

“Oh, um, yeah,” You answered. “I made these cupcakes for my cousin’s baby shower and it got canceled, so now I have 20 cupcakes, and I thought maybe you’d like them? You don’t have to, if you don’t want to, and I realize now that this is incredibly weird and random, but I swear I haven’t poisoned them or anything.”

Tom laughed, nodding his head, “Poisoned or not, I’ll take them. I’m sure they’re fantastic anyway.”

“Thank you.” You handed him the container, and he immediately opened it up, reaching for one. You saw the smile drop from his face as he slowly retracted his hand.

“Sorry, I-“ He paused, clearing his throat. “I’m about to have lunch so I shouldn’t spoil it. I’ll definitely have one later though.” And just like that, the smile was back on his face.

“No worries.” You smiled.

“Well, thank you, Y/N.” Tom smiled, and you felt your heart flutter. You didn’t know he knew your name; you hadn’t spoken in the three months you lived next door to him (unless you count his football landing in your backyard and you throwing it back over the fence for him).

Without another word, you turned around and darted back into the safety of your house. Tom stayed on his doorstep, watching your retreating figure in confusion. As he stepped back inside his house, he let out a sigh, looking down at the cupcakes in his hands.

“Who was that?” Harry asked through a mouthful of nachos.

“Y/N from next door.” Tom replied, trying his best to hide the small blush on his cheeks at the thought of the random encounter.

“The cute one that doesn’t talk to you?” Harrison inquired, and Tom was quick to send him a glare.

“She gave us cupcakes.” He put the container on the counter as a way to wordlessly let his housemates have at them.

“Marry her.” Harry stated, nachos abandoned for a sweet cupcake. Harrison barely even chewed the first one, making his way to a second.

“It’s just cupcakes.” Tom tried to play it off.

“Uhuh, just cupcakes.” His younger brother nudged him teasingly.

“Stop pouting and go back to your protein shake.” Harrison joked. Grumbling incoherently, Tom did just that— he went back to his protein shake and continued the art of keeping the disgusting taste from touching his tongue.

A few days later, the cupcakes were cleared from the container, eaten and enjoyed by everyone except for Tom (even Tessa got some because Paddy dropped crumbs on the floor when they came over). With your cleaned container in hand, Tom made his way over to your house next door. He nervously smoothed out his t-shirt one last time before knocking on your door.

“Coming!” He heard you call from inside. A couple moments later, you opened up the door in surprise.

“Oh, Tom.” You said quietly, feeling insecure as you looked down at your messy apron.

“Are you baking more food?” He asked, his signature smile on his face.

“Technically not right now. I’m filling eclairs.” You replied, and his eyes went wide in surprise.

“Wow, you really know your way around the kitchen.” Tom admired, making your cheeks heat up.

“Do you- do you mind helping me for a minute? I’m having issues piping.” You sheepishly admitted. You fully expected him to say no, come up with some half-ass excuse about how he was busy, but then he surprised you with a nod.

“Of course, I’ll help.”

You stepped aside and let him inside. Leading him back into the kitchen, you asked, “How’d you like the cupcakes?”

“Oh, they were great. Really good, thank you.” He didn’t hesitate to compliment the sweet that he’d never tasted. Considering how much his friends and family loved your cupcakes though, he could only assume they were the best. He thought maybe you caught his lie, but then you just got straight to work at your eclair-covered counter. Tom set the container aside on an empty counter and quickly washed his hands.

“They keep losing their shape as I pipe them, so can you just hold them upside?” You asked, holding up a bare eclair. Tom held it as instructed and you got your piping bag together. He watched as you concentrated on filling the treat, your eyebrows furrowed together and your teeth sinking into your teeth a little. He felt his stomach begin to grumble from the intoxicating smell of your kitchen. It seemed like you had everything he couldn’t eat, just out on your counter.

“Are you hungry?” You spoke up, a few eclairs later when Tom’s stomach groaned loudly.

“Oh, no, I’m fine.” He insisted. Looking at the eclairs on the counter, he knew you’d offer him one without a second thought, and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could fight off the urge to break his stupid diet.

He continued to focus on you as you focused on the eclairs. With all but a few pastries filled, you grabbed another empty one. You let out a frustrated huff as your piping bag struggled to cooperate with the pastry.

“Get in there.” You grumbled, annoyed at the difficult eclair.

“Too tight?” Tom asked.

“No, it’s just-“ You trailed off as you finally got it to work. You smiled proudly, happy that it was finally working right.

“Am I about to walk in on kitchen sex or can I come in?” You heard your housemate jokingly call out from the hallway. While you froze up in embarrassment, Tom shook with laughter. She walked into the kitchen with a smirk on her face, sending you a very obvious wink that Tom completely saw.

“You’re the worst.” You muttered, moving on to the next eclair.

“So you two just, uh, filling eclairs?” Your housemate asked, grabbing one of the filled pastries and taking a bite out of it.

“Yes, it’s a very important two person job.” Tom chuckled, and she nodded.

“Y/N, how the fuck are you so good at this?” She turned to you, taking another bite of her food. “Oh my god, Tom, you have to try these eclairs.”

“I’m good, don’t want to eat Y/N’s food.” He answered, but his stomach betrayed him with another growl.

“You seem really hungry. Are you sure you don’t want any?” You inquired, and Tom shook his head politely.

“It’s okay, really.”

“Do you want to take some home? For you and your housemates? I’ve made too many again.” You offered, making him laugh.

“You have that problem a lot, don’t you?” He teased. You playfully rolled your eyes at him as you finished the last eclair. Grabbing the container from the other counter, you began to reload it with eclairs.

“Here you go.” You smiled, holding it out to Tom.

“Thank you. I should probably get going.” He trailed off a little, sounding a bit disappointed.

“Let me know how they are.” You bid him one last farewell before he left.

When he returned home a whole minute later, he set the container full of fresh eclairs on the kitchen counter and immediately went in search for his scheduled snack, which was simply just an apple, but, compared to the eclairs he just helped make, an apple never seemed so disappointing.

“More free dessert?” Harry asked, eyes lighting up when he spotted the familiar container.

“They’re eclairs today.” Tom replied.

“On a scale of one to ten, how much does this suck?” He teased, taking a massive bite from the eclair. Tom glared at his brother before leaving the room to enjoy his apple in an eclair (and Harry) free zone.

This all became a routine between you and Tom. He’d bring you back your container after a few days and you’d fill it up (or switch it out) with more freshly made treats. Tom had to just sit back and watch everyone around him enjoy your pies, brownies, cookies, tarts, even croissants. You even made a cake and he had to bring it to a family birthday party. The more time he spent with you though, the more he found himself really liking you— but there was also the catch that the more time he spent with you, the more he struggled to maintain his diet. He almost snuck a cookie when no one was around but then he remembered the last time he broke his diet and shuddered at the thought of it.

One day, a few weeks later, Tom heard the familiar sound of your special knock on his front door. Confused because you’d given him fudge just yesterday, he opened the door.

“I got locked out.” You said as soon as he opened the door. As if you didn’t feel awkward enough around him before, now you’re really asking him for a big favor. “If it’s not overstepping, could I stay here? My housemate should be back in a bit and she has her key.”

“Come on in.” Tom stepped aside for you to come into his house. You had never actually been inside it before, and it seemed to be just as homey as yours, but with a tad more frat boy mess in it, complete with video games stashed on the shelves of the entertainment center and random beer bottles in the house.

“Sorry, I’ve been meaning to clean up.” He apologized, rushing to grab the empty bottles to recycle them. You just laughed in response, still taking in the home, “Do you want water or anything?”

“Water would be great, thank you.” You replied. You followed Tom into the kitchen and leaned against the counter as you waited for your water. “I’m thinking of making these cookie bar things. Are any of you allergic to nuts?”

“No food allergies here.” Tom answered with a laugh, passing you the cup filled with water. You spotted the half eaten block of fudge on his counter and smiled.

“How’s the fudge?” You asked before taking a sip of your water.

“It’s the best. Truly the best I’ve ever had.” He stated definitively.

And it happened to be at that moment that Harry came into the room, scouting for more fudge. As he picked up a piece, he realized that you and Tom were in the room, “Thank you, Y/N, for all of the food.”

“It’s no problem. I enjoy sharing it.” You smiled kindly at him.

“Too bad you can’t have any.” He teased his older brother before shoving the large piece of fudge into his mouth. As Harry left the room, Tom went red in embarrassment.

“Best fudge you’ve ever had, huh?” You asked, crossing your arms defensively.

“It’s not that I don’t like fudge— I love fudge���“

“But you don’t like mine?” You weren’t sure why you were so upset over it, but maybe it was the fact that you thought he truly enjoyed your desserts. “Did you eat any of it?”

“No.” Tom answered honestly, defeat present on his face as he hung his head in shame.

“Then why did you lie about it?” You stated, unwavering in the hurt look in your features.

Tom mumbled something, and you furrowed your eyebrows at him, unable to understand a word he said. A little bit louder, he spoke up again, “I’m on a bulking diet and I can’t have sugar, but you were really happy giving me things and— and it gave me a good excuse to actually talk to you.”

With a sheepish smile on his face, he finally looked up at you. You paused, processing his words before finding your own voice, “You wanted to talk to me?”

“Yeah, I’m kinda really into you.” He said. “I was going to ask you out on a date, but, uh, I can understand if you don’t—”

“I’d love to.” You cut him off quickly, not giving yourself the chance to think about your response. Tom’s eyes lit up, hopefully.

“Really?”

“Really.” You nodded. Before you could say anything further, your phone began to ring and you looked down; it was your housemate, meaning she was home now and could let you in. “I should get going.”

“Does tomorrow work? I could pick you up at 7?” Tom offered, and you smiled as the two of you made your way to his front door.

“7 sounds great. I’ll see you then.” You said, stepping out onto his porch. “Thank you, again.”

“Anytime.” He answered with a grin. Knowing he’d watch you as you walked home, you had to maintain yourself from skipping a little in happiness.

Even with your big date tomorrow though, you still barely slept, spending all night searching through fitness sites for new recipes. That night, right as the clock struck 7, you heard a knock on your door. Eagerly, you grabbed a new container full of your latest bake and opened your door.

“Before we leave, can you try this?” You asked, handing Tom the container. He looked at the appetizing bars questioningly. 

“Is this a test? I can’t have—” Tom started, but you cut him off, shaking your head.

“They’re not sweets. They’re protein bars.” You explained. “I found a recipe last night. It’s peanut butter and rice protein.”

“You made me protein bars?” His voice almost broke as he looked at you in disbelief.

“Well, yeah, I feel bad for giving you so many things you couldn’t eat, so I wanted to do something for you.” You could barely get your words out before he was unceremoniously stuffing a protein bar in his mouth. He knew he had a routine that he was supposed to follow but, hey, at least this was filled with protein.

“I’m sorry, I’ve been dying to try your baking, and these are so good.” Tom sighed in relief with a clear mouth.

“So I’ll keep that recipe then.” You laughed. You stepped out of your house and closed the door behind you.

“I should drop these off. One moment.” He jogged back over to his house and threw the door open.

“These are mine! No eating them!” He shouted to his nosy housemates, putting the container of protein bars on the side table.

“Marry her!” Harry and Harrison both called back out to him as he shut the door. With a twinge of embarrassment from you hearing their words, Tom turned back to you.

“Ready?”

~~~

Tag List: @viagracex​ @theamazingtomholland​  @harrisonosterfieldhazmyheart​ @joyleenl​ @t-o-m-holland​ @lonikje​ @sleepybesson​  @sunkisseddreamer​ @hollandsamor @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh​ @gorrillaglue13 @petersoftboyparker @musicalkeys

Tom Tag List:@quaksonhehe​ @tomkindholland

[yukipri]

One Piece Mermaid AU!

Featuring Luffy as a rubber mermaid who can’t swim, and Ace who carries her on his back as they pirate together.

＊Genderbend warning, fem!Luffy

Sliding in last minute for MerMay, bc idk about you, but I need something to mark that May has passed this year...

~~

PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, EDIT, TRANSLATE, OR OTHERWISE USE MY ART. To share, please reblog! Reblogs and comments greatly appreciated!!!

~~

Base headcanons for this AU beneath the cut! ↓ ↓ ↓

Luffy's a mermaid who was raised in Fuusha village, just like in canon. And, just like in canon, despite being a mermaid, she SUCKS at swimming, a fact that Shanks finds absolutely hilarious. She still wants to become a pirate, she still eats her devil fruit and becomes a rubber mer(?), she still gets kidnapped by Higuma (who sees her as an excellent way to rake in cash, given how valuable mermaids are on the slave market), and Shanks still gives her his hat.

As a devil fruit user, Luffy's already atrocious swimming skills are now at zero. She can still breathe under water, but will sink like a stone, her strength sapped by the sea, and if she loses consciousness she'll stop breathing too. Needless to say, she stays out of the water, and the villagers come to accept that sometimes, mermaids just live on land.

Garp still comes back, and is still furious at her wanting to become a pirate (and inwardly, extremely concerned that a bandit tried to catch and sell her), and still takes her to live at Dadan's where she meets Ace.

Ace has no idea what to think of the weird fish-brat who he's now told is gonna be his sibling, and resolutely ignores Luffy. He's inwardly slightly impressed as Luffy continues to follow him through the mountain every day, not even particularly hindered by lack of legs and using a mixture of crawling, squirming, hand-walking, and ricocheting forward with rubber arms to move.

Luffy still meets Sabo the same way as canon, and is still caught by Porchemy, who at first is thrilled because a mer brat! That'll bring in WAY more money than the spare change Ace stole! But in the end, he loses his temper at Luffy's stubbornness and still beats her to a pulp.

Ace and Sabo still rescue Luffy, and they still exchange sake cups and become brothers.

Yes, brothers.

Because at this point, neither Ace nor Sabo nor any of the bandits, nor anyone really on Dawn island save Makino and Garp actually know that Luffy's a girl. Not even Luffy.

The three brothers promise to each other that they'll all leave the island when they turn seventeen, setting out to sea to become pirates (Ace and Sabo are honestly a little concerned, given how often people try to sell Luffy, and how despite aquatic appearances Luffy's vulnerable af in water, but decide to wait and see. They have seven years together, Luffy ten until seventeen, who knows how much stronger their baby brother will get in that time).

Sabo "dies."

Ace and Luffy continue to train, and things don't change until Ace is seventeen, shortly before he sets out to sea.

He's let Luffy crawl into his blanket to sleep with him (partially cold-blooded, Lu gets cold easily when inactive), and Ace realizes that his lil brother's chest feels a bit lumpy.

Concerned, he makes Luffy have it checked out by the bandits, who are shocked to find developing...breasts?

That can't be right...right?

Dadan makes a call to Garp, who snorts and says of COURSE Luffy's a girl, didn't he say granddaughter?

No, he had not, he had only mentioned "grand child."

Everyone is shocked, but none more so than Ace, who really doesn't know what to do with this new information.

(Luffy's not quite sure what a "girl" is, and when she asks Ace, Ace honestly doesn't know how to define "girl" either, so she doesn't get what the big deal is)

Ace realizes he's troubled because he can't remember the number of times he's rescued Luffy from potential traffickers, and the number of times he's heard the lament, "Pity it's not female, it'd be worth quadruple," from the kidnappers before he beats them to a pulp.

He already had doubts about letting Luffy go out to sea alone, three years after he's left. But now knowing that Luffy's a girl, and one of the most sought-after species that traffickers target...he knows the world out there is much bigger than a teeny peaceful East Blue island, and Luffy may not get lucky every time, and may not be strong enough in just three years.

But at the same time, it's not like he can order her to stay here. There's no way Luffy'd listen; the sea calls to her, freedom calls to her, and Ace understands that more than anyone.

Sabo, Ace thinks, what would you do?

The night before he leaves, Ace tells Luffy that there's been a change of plans.

He's still leaving for sea. He's going to get stronger, and work his way towards becoming Pirate King.

BUT, three years later, Luffy will NOT leave Dawn Island alone.

Ace promises that he'll come back, a stronger pirate capable of looking out for his baby brother (because girl or not, they exchanged vows of brotherhood, and that's something that can't be changed).

He refuses to let Luffy be his captain, he's still got his pride, but maybe, maybe if Luffy becomes strong enough, he'll let her be co-Captain.

Luffy is thrilled, because she wanted to be pirates WITH Ace, and grudgingly accepts the compromise, and promises to train and wait for Ace's return.

Ace leaves Dawn island, and makes a name for himself on the Grand Line (he's PISSED when he finds out he's eaten a devil fruit, because now how's he supposed to rescue Lu from drowning when he can't swim himself???).

He even eventually makes it to Whitebeard, and eventually comes to admire the man. Whitebeard invites him to his crew, and Ace honestly replies that a large part of him wants to accept...but he can't. He promised his baby brother that they'll be pirates and co-captains together, and he can't join another pirate crew without Luffy agreeing too. Even so, and he knows it's selfish of him, he wants to call Whitebeard his father.

Whitebeard tells him that Ace is already his son, regardless of where his allegiances lie, and gives him his blessing to return to East Blue to fetch Luffy. Whitebeard laughs that he can't wait to meet the lil brat that Ace speaks so highly of, and for Ace to hurry up and come back to the New World so they can meet.

Ace plans on traveling light, his former crew all choosing to join the Whitebeard pirates except for his first mate, Deuce. Ace loves his crew, but they're also his crew, and knows that he wants to make their crew with Luffy. So he thinks he and Deuce will be a good starting point (You're just bringing me along bc you want someone who can swim on the crew, Deuce accuses).

As they're planning on leaving, Marco lets slip to fellow commander Thatch that he heard that Ace's "little brother" is actually a super cute girl.

The next morning, Thatch shows up too, insisting that he come along, because hey! He's been with the Whitebeards for ages and hasn't been to Paradise in a while, he wants some change! And won't it be nice to have someone as reliable as him along, just until they get back to the New World and reunite with the Whitebeards? Really he has no ulterior motives like wanting to check out Ace's supposedly hyper hot baby brother-sister!

Ace is suspicious, but Thatch is already on board and the other Whitebeards are already waving so he lets it go.

(Shortly after they leave, Thatch discovers a devil fruit. Deuce tells him to sell the damn thing, it'll taste like shit, but Thatch thinks boy wouldn't it be great to be able to woo Ace's hot brother with a really cool devil fruit power. So he eats it, and yeah it tastes like shit, but now he can control Darkness which is sorta badass?)

(Somewhere on the Whitebeard ships, Blackbeard is still waiting for someone to find the darkness devil fruit, and well, it doesn't happen)

Before Ace returns to Dawn Island, part of him still hopes that Luffy looks passably like a guy. Having been to Fishman island, having befriended Jinbe, he knows that while mermen can still be targeted, mermaids are exponentially more vulnerable. He's learned the kinds of clothing that can help conceal tails, and is hoping that there's a slim chance they might be able to be pirates without the world knowing that Lu's a mermaid.

His hopes are shot when Luffy rockets into his arms at the dock, and his face is immediately buried in enormous tits that definitely weren't there three years ago.

Despite Ace's growing concerns (and red face; why does he feel so hot??? It's not his devil fruit...), Ace lets Luffy give Deuce a beating (why me?!) to claim her position as Ace's Co-Captain of the newly established ASL pirates (because if we're pirates together, Sabo has to be with us too!).

Luffy's gotten a lot stronger, but is still utterly ignorant of the outside world and the dangers it holds (such as the drooling Thatch who immediately wins Luffy over with his cooking despite Ace's burning glares). She's reckless and falls into the ocean every damn day, and while Deuce dives in after her and they've discovered her useful ability to talk to fish to ask for help, it still gives Ace heart attacks.

They still pick up more crew members while in East Blue, including Roronoa Zoro, Usopp, and Sanji, a pervy cook who competes daily with Thatch for Luffy's affections through food (Luffy appreciates the food).

At Arlong Park, Luffy encounters fishmen for the first time in her life. Arlong mocks Luffy's choice of friends and family, and invites her to join his crew made of her own kind. Fishmen and mer are the superior race, and Luffy will make a fine wife, Arlong says.

Luffy breaks his nose off, and Nami joins their crew.

Luffy's chosen mode of transportation is on the back of one of her sturdier crew mates, usually Ace, but often Zoro too. She unfortunately hates all the long skirts/robes Ace suggested for her to hide her tail, and so Ace has decided that being as intimidating as possible while carrying his brother glued to his back is the only way to go.

Needless to say, news of the former Spade Pirates Captain + Whitebeard Commander Thatch (are they an extension of the Whitebeards??) establishing the new ASL pirates spreads fast. That, and rumors that there's a beautiful young mermaid on board who can't swim. And despite the strength of the crew and their attempts at vigilance, Luffy's still dumb and gullible, and is kidnapped (and rescued) a dozen times before they're even on the Grand Line.

(after a few times, Luffy's uncharacteristically quiet, and privately asks Ace if they can break up the crew. She's holding Ace back; she not only made him come back to her, but half their adventures just seem to be her crew rescuing her. She's strong enough to defeat enemies, but not save herself. Ace tells her to shut up, and never bring this up again; they're BROTHERS, and he's not going to leave her behind or make her abandon her dreams when she can't accomplish them alone, and that's his choice. Luffy doesn't bring it up again, but works harder than ever to become stronger and earn recognition as co-Captain when the world seems intent on thinking of her as Ace's pet.)

During one of these kidnappings, Luffy's successfully brought all the way to an auction house before her crew can rescue her. An auction house that unbeknownst to them, was under investigation by the Revolutionary Army.

Liberating slaves is an unfortunately common mission for them, and Sabo's doing final sweeps as Koala frees the last of them when he notices a tank stowed away in a corner. He's familiar with these tanks, used to showcase mermaids in the rare occasions one can be caught, and it looks empty but he's still drawn to it for some reason.

It's only when he gets closer that he notices a mermaid crumpled at the bottom of the enclosure. She's completely slumped over, and he's afraid she's already gone, even as something about her screams with familiarity.

He's cracked the tank and has reached in to pull her out, when the wall behind him explodes in flames, revealing a furious Ace who snarls at the strange man with his hands on his baby brother...

...and then Sabo's memories come back.

~~

Something like that???? For an initial HCs dump????

This AU has continued! A LOT! Check out the comics, illustrations, and text stories for this AU under the Mermaid AU section of my One Piece Masterpost!

As always, REBLOGS, tags, asks, and comments greatly appreciated!

Advance posts for this AU and more are on my Patreon! (Patreon(.)com/YukiPri)

[luvreyn]

My Manhwa List (2021) Part 6

Hi hi been a while! Hope you’re all okay so now onto the list ~

Your Majesty, Please Spare Me This Time

Source: https://www.tappytoon.com/en/comics/your-majesty

Description:

Following the emperor’s unjust massacre of her family and her own miserable death, Laliette Bellua wakes up to find that she is in the body of her 12-year-old self. She immediately sets her sights on a single goal: suck up to Emperor Rupert Edgar Laspe Vellelum and save her family. Laliette’s plan is foolproof, except for one tiny detail… In her present timeline, the future emperor is still masquerading as a princess named Rapertte! With only a single suitcase and some change in her pocket, she sets out for the capital to become the princess’s closest and most beloved attendant. Can Laliette prove her ability to keep a secret? And more importantly, will she be able to win the favor of the cruel and sadistic Rapertte?

THOUGHTS AND WHY YOU SHOULD READ

- mc is freaking adorable

- plot - 3.5/5

- art - 5/5

- she hates the ML sm omg like she often has thoughts of wanting to kill him and it’s so refreshing?? cause every fl in this type of story are like just scared so I love that she’s so scared but she also wants hurt him

- I know they’re gonna end up together but it’s nice to see her being so adamant and succeeding in hating him despite his sometimes humanity

- shookt at the revelations!!

- the ml... idk what to say about him but let’s hope he’ll freaking redeem himself

- conclusion: an okay read!

The Night When the Crow Caws

Source: https://www.tappytoon.com/en/comics/night-when-crow-caws

Description:

As the hottest actor in the action genre, the handsome and talented Woogang is always being chased by the women around him. But when a mysterious agent on a secret mission breaks into his home, he's the one who falls in love at first sight. Sadly, he has no clue who the beautiful stranger is... until she shows up at his workplace as Detective Park Taeyi to investigate a bomb threat. It turns out that she's no ordinary policewoman, but an elite member of the Secret Intelligence Agency who is after a criminal organization called "The Crows." Fate brings Woogang and Taeyi closer when the actor catches The Crows' attention and needs the agent's protection. Can Woogang break through Taeyi's cool exterior and win her heart as they face off against their dangerous enemies?

THOUGHTS AND WHY YOU SHOULD READ

- ml is kinda annoying tbh or idk maybe it’s just me

- badass female!!

- art = 4/5

- plot = ?/5 ‘cause I forgot lol

- I love the premise!!

- love at first sight? check!

- m y s t e r y

- action!!

- conclusion: an okay read

Saving the Villain from the Heroine

Description:

Sielle is an ordinary handmaid working for the Grand Duke Ferzei Yekarte. The thing is... she knows he's a villain of a story she read in her previous life on Earth. With her prescience, she managed to foil an assassination attempt on her master, only to be framed for the crime! Worse yet, when she drank the poisoned wine to prove her innocence, she turns into a little girl... And now the Grand Duke wants to ship her off to a notorious family of assassins? Will she manage to survive through all this, even if she knows how it will all end?

THOUGHTS AND WHY YOU SHOULD READ

- cute cute cute

- plot = 3.5/5

- art = 3/5

- the art is okay but the deadpan expressions ruins the story like it’s so fake

- the ml is prob one of the most extra ml ever lmao 

- found fam!!

- an okay and cute read

Answer Me, My Prince

Description:

Cordelia Grey, a 22-year-old novice editor with many aspirations visited an antique shop to receive the manuscript for the sequel to the fairy tale novel, "The Princess and the Knight." But she ends up exchanging letters with Prince Archie, a character from the fairy tale, using a book chest she obtained through a twist of fate. To Cordelia, holding a conversation with a novel protagonist is like something that only happens in fantasies. To Prince Archie, Cordelia's advice is desperately needed, since she knows the future of the his world. The two continue sending letters to each other, not realizing how the summer nights are slipping by...

THOUGHTS AND WHY YOU SHOULD READ

- omg I'm so shookt

- the plot is = 5/5 chefs kiss!

- art = 4/5

- it’s so interesting and I'm pleasantly surprise when I read it!!

- ml is so smooth 

- a lot of mystery and magic

- making its way to my fav list!

I Met the Male Lead in Prison

Description:

I met the male lead in prison.

Okay. I get that I transmigrated into an R-19 tragic romantic novel, but why is he like this?

“Arf! Arf! Arf! Grrrrrr…”

I can’t believe this guy is held by a curse that makes him act like a beast… And that’s not the end of it, because he then returns to normal for a moment.

“I-i-if you aren’t g-going to take responsibility for what you did to me, th-th-then don’t t-touch me!”

At any rate, I felt relieved that I probably wouldn’t have any sort of romantic interactions with this guy.

A year later…

“Th-th-the day I leave this place, please…m-meet up with me!”

Well, it wouldn’t be a big deal to meet him once. But then, when I was released from prison…

***

“Welcome back. My lovely younger sister.”

The day of my release, a man approached me. It turns out, I’m the villain’s sister.

“You must have suffered going to prison in my stead. I waited only for you.”

…F*ck. My brother is the male lead’s sworn enemy?

***

3 years later, I met the male lead again. He looked totally different than when I last saw him.

“It’s been a while, Iyana. I’m going to kidnap you now.”

THOUGHTS AND WHY YOU SHOULD READ

- I've been waiting for this since forever!!

- art = 6/5

- plot = 4/5

- ADORKABLE!!

- she’s so cool!! 

- the ml is so cute and I just want to pet him!

- 2nd ml (?) is so whipped I cannot lol

- the bro is the most interesting ‘cause I don't know him yet but he hot!!

- conclusion: a new fav!

[fitztragedy]

Things I Want Changed in Fate S02

Better Costumes

Like, seriously, wth happened there? They were dressed awfully, and that's not news. The costumes were like straight out of a 90's teens movies, it was so obvious there was an adult trying do find out what teens used and maybe saw that 90s fashion was trending and thought that was the hype. Costume designer Catherine Adair has been a costume designer in 29 projects, none of them was a teen TV show (except her most recent project, after Fate, which is a disney kids mystery series) and 16 of wich were in the 90s. She has dressed TV shows before Fate but things like Desperate Housewives and The Man in the High Castle- Definitely not even close to the vibe Fate has. Hopefully she'll either do more research or they'll hire another costume designer since she's aparently working on this new Disney series. IMDb says we have a new Art Director in S02 (Justin Warburton-Brown, who apparently done The Witcher S02!!) so my hopes are very high!

New locations and sets!

I loved Alfea and the Winx Suite but I feel like we need more sets. That's not the fault of the art direction or set decoration (which were done by Karl Clifford -who isn't credited for anything but Fate- and Jil Turner who has a very good resume, having worked on Vikings and a lot of other fantasy movies and tv shows), I feel like they did a pretty good job with what they were given. Having the entire season be basically that got very repetitive and because of the number of views I'm hoping they have a bigger budged in S02 to be able to have different sets. I wanna see Magix! The cartoon did a wonderful job with the city near Alrea, it was super cool to see the futuristic town in a fairy show, which was a contrast to what me, as a kid, imagines what a magical town would look like. I don't think they'll to this for Fate but it'd be cool to see like magic being used in day to day lives. Also if Alfea is in the middle of nowhere where do the girls get like stuff? Where do they buy tampons if they need it? I MUST know!! Also it'd be pretty cool to see Solaria sometime. IMDb also told me we got a new set decorator in S02 and he's been the set decorator of Shadow and Bone (Kevin Downey) so I'M EXCITED.

More plot and Backstory for the characters

Let's skip Bloom and Sky because I think @lilshitwayne would do a better job talking about them and then focus on the others.

Aisha

WHERE IS AISHA'S PLOT??? They done my girl wrong, so wrong. Seriously, what is her backstory? What are her goals and dreams? What are her insecurities and challenges? What is her personal arc? What is her role in the series arc? I wish I could answer all these questions but I just can't. I saw @lilshitwayne and @rivusa dms about her yesterday and I want to give them the floor to talk about it so I'm not gonna say what they said, but I do want more from Aisha's character next season and I want her role to not be as suporting as she was in S01. I do think that the fact that she's a poc character had to do with her lack of development and I will HATE it if they make her also LGBTQ+ and continue with Netflix's trend of shoving all the minorities into one character. Hopefully because of the backlash they'll listen. Precious is a beautiful and great actress and she deservers better.

Musa

Musa had a pretty big part in S02 I'd say. She was basically the second most important character after Bloom, BUT she did not have a plot, let's be real. Her whole arch was basically "I hate my powers, they are useless and just make me suffer and I try to ignore them" and then she met Sam and was like "Oh he basically feels nothing so it's nice to spend time with him" and then she found out Sam was Terra's brother and wanted to keep their relationship a secret, then she told Terra and there was like too much drama for a non-dramatic revelation. Then she had to face her powers when Sam was dying but then he lived so she went back to being the same as she was but with a boring boyfriend now (I know people like Sam and that's okay because people have different tastes but I just don't see the appeal, okay? he's boring in my opinion). So like her whole development and plot was based around a guy. No internet struggle solved, no character development. Yes Musa is my favorite character but I still don't like her "plot".

Stella and Terra

idk what I'd say about them. I think one of the other girls in the fate fandom might have takes and stuff. Terra had the self-steem and body issues that basically went no where and Stella has mommy issues and issues in general that are probably gonna get more developed already so I'm not too worries about them.

I know people didn't like that they made Stella have a very different personality than the cartoons and (hot take) I kinda like it. Don't @ me. Stella was hella annoying in the cartoons and I like this very messed up Stella we got, yes she's a bitch but she's got layers and I can't wait to see them Explored.

Terra was not a cartoon character and I have no fucking idea why they didn't just put Flora. Flora in the cartoon had also a very different personality so maybe they thought she didn't fit, but then why not keep her and just change the personality like they did with Stella? Also if they had made Terra latina it wouldn't have changed anything in Terra's plot. Idk what happened behind the scenes but that's what we got. I do want Flora to appear and be this cute cinnamon roll but also badass (and latina) so *fingers crossed*

Riven

ah, Riven... He has so much potential and I can't wait to see his character development throughout the series. I can see a lot of troubles at home and internalized homophobia and fuck he's just so god damn Bi. Hopefully that little interaction with Dane about just liking whoever depending on the gender will make Riven be okay with his sexuality and I really like this plot okay?

Also, yes, as a Rivusa shipper I want that to happen and I've already done two huge post about Riven and Rivusa in Fate so if u wanna read more go and do it (here and here).

The rest idgaf about them (I do but i'm too lazy to type)

Future characters

I wanna see Brandon. They call even make Stella bi and change Brandon to like Brenda or something, I've done that in fics and I think that'd be interesting.

Flora, of course, as said above.

Helia if they bring Flora along. They should pair him with Terra, he's Flora's.

I don't wanna see Tecna and Timmy tbh, might be a controversial opinion but I didn't really care for them in the OG and with all the normal technology in Fate I don't really see a reason for them. Unless they change Tecna's powers like they did with Musa, but we don't need another white basic bitch character.

I think that's it!

If yall want to answer and discuss Fate feel free to reblog! I'd love to talk about how we could improve the show!

[ressyfaerie]

For the fandom ask: Beyblade ^^

OooOooOOohh I love these okay

1. Favourite female character

Well, theres not too many in beyblade LOL. But man do I love Ming. I'm pretty sure I had a crush on her when I was a kid before I realized i was *the gay*. Ever since the third pokemon movie I've been a big fan of the trope of girl is young and transforms into older version of herself to symbolize their desire to grow older and more mature. So I'm a big fan of her and her darker side.

Spoiler alert, I'm gonna include some of her in Tattoos soon!!

2. My favourite male character

If not everyone knows this I've failed. It is obviously our lord and saviour mr. Sourpuss himself. (Kai for anyone who missed the memo for the past 20 years)

3. My favourite season

It's always been a tough choice between one or g-rev. Season 1 is just such a cute perfect intro, but the Russian arc is just... fantastic it really is. Lots of people hate on the drawing style but I find it really unique and nostalgic! G rev deals with a lot of tough themes (specifically tala going after Boris and being hospitalized and the dangerous rivalry between brooklyn and kai, as well as tyson and kai discovering their weird connection to each other). The art style is a lot more polished and sparkly and slightly homoerotic so I'm a big fan.

I love both for completely opposite reasons so its tough to choose between them!

4. My favourite episode

Ooohhhhh tough so tough uuummmmm. Gimme a sec I'll shower and think about it.

So, upon further reflection, I've decided it's a hard decision between the episode in season 1 where Kai breaks into the abbey, or the episode in G-rev where kai gets tied up with rose thorns from the queer coded gay coach to teach him he can't run from his gay thoughts.

5. Favourite cast member

So like everyone thinks I'm gonna say tyson or ray or max or tala but HONESTLY

Kenny??? Like I LOVE HIM. Idk why hes like the one person i think I'd ever have a good relationship with in real life

Like Kenny is the badass of the team. Like without Kenny Tyson wouldn't have got through episode 1. Let's put it this way, the rest of the boys are just boys but kenny is THE MAN.

6. Favourite ship

Tyka.

Always and forever lmao

7. Character I’d die defending

Okay so like obviously Kai I'd light myself on fire to keep that man warm and actually everyone else who isnt an adult but MOSTLY

TALA.

Tala is the kid that's gone through the most trauma, let's get real here that kid deserves a hug, a found family, and some cocoa.

8. A character I just can’t sympathize with

Okay

Yes tysons dad is the worst honestly (even more so than voltaire if voltaire canonically put Kai in the abbey btw)

But also, and I am extremely set on this and it's why he is always the 'antagonist' to me.

HIRO

I understand that even if Hiro is canonically 18 (so hes still basically a child) he still came back into Tysons life as the adult figure and he pushes tyson the wrong way to get results.

Not ONE THING Hiro tried to teach Tyson actually stuck that wasn't accomplished through like … trauma?

He was the one person Tyson should have been able to truly rely on and I am a big believer that since he failed to do this, he was the biggest factor for Tyson's dark downfall in g rev.

Also, like if your brother needed comfort and help like why didnt you just… like...

Call your dad

?????

9. A character I grew to love

So yall prob already know this

But everyone got me into Bryan

Ugh I'm a big fan of the bisexual street badboys with religious trauma.

I especially love him in Tattoos.

I'm not sure how, since he says like 3 words in the series and everyone somehow manages to headcanon a similar version of him, the version I created for Tattoos is just fantastic.

Maybe he just fills the lack of older brother issues I have LOL

10. My anti OTP

So I ship nearly everything.

There’s not one immediate ship that comes to mind that I can say no absolutely not (except the obvious stuff)

I do find since we have such a wide range of characters and the fandom is so old we come across really traumatizing stuff occasionally. (Some fanart I saw of Tala and Boris a few years ago comes to mind oof ick yucky)

I used to be pretty anti RayxKai and KaixTala. But I think thats because back in the day KaixRay and tyka shippers used to be at each others throats. I was never involved much in the fandom in this time, but it was pretty extreme so I didn’t interact much. I also used to find they didn’t have much chemistry, but after being in the fandom longer I now see it and am more than willing to write fics for it when my askbox is open!

I used to be against KaixTala as well, from a psychological perspective (because I get way too into the psychology of childrens shows apparently????) I just found their personalities were both too negative and worried about them trauma bonding and never growing together. But I’ve read some stuff about them and (done some asks and ficlets for them) and I find the appeal now!

[brawltogethernow]

I suppose the next step then is "BBC Merlin but it's SpideyTorch"

Oh my god. TEACHER, TEACHER, SHE’S TARGETING ME okay okay uh.

Peter, secret warlock, goes to Camelot with his mother figure, May, who does not know about the warlock thing because it kicked in when he was a teenager and they both strategically decline to tell each other things. Gaius is Reed, who was the court sorcerer and is now the court scientist. (He’s not an old man except spiritually where he has been a senile professor since he was 19.) He literally didn’t change anything he was doing, considering science and magic as different points on one spectrum anyway-- No. That’s Doom’s schtick. DOOM was the court sorcerer, and was fired. He is upset about it. Reed is just a science guy but worked extensively with Victor, so he’s kind of useful, but not as useful as Peter was hoping.

I know very little about Sue and Johnny’s dad except that he’s a supervillain who...faked his death, revealed himself, and then died for real like 12 hours later? Did he also fake his wife’s death at some point? Would he do a mad king magic ban thing? Idk but for plot purposes we’ll say yes. They conveniently already share Arthur’s dead mom syndrome. Maybe their aunt whose name is different depending on what issue you’re reading is also here just to convolute the court drama. Wait no didn’t Arthur have a shady uncle show up after like five seasons. She.

Peter is very talented at finicky, specific magical formulas. (Reed: :) )But in practice he really prefers to just slam out a big wave of power, and if that doesn’t solve the problem, repeat until it does. (Reed: :( ) He gives this a go at the beginning of sorting out any problem, like restarting your glitching computer, and if it doesn’t work the problem is complicated enough to be an episode plot.

So obviously I’m still gonna do secret identity shit? Peter saves the young prince and heir’s life and is rewarded with a second job; he only came here for job reasons and you’re all lucky he doesn’t turn down paying jobs otherwise he’d be having some words with the king. Peter also accidentally becomes a masked vigilante out in the town. His very existence is illegal because he’s obviously doing magic! They keep sending his boss out to hunt him down, and their eyes are always locking dramatically and shit in brief silent stare-offs from opposite ends of the street in thunder storms at sunset until Johnny’s horse rears and breaks the eye contact causing Peter to snap out of it and flee. You know how it is.

Sue is older than Johnny and thus older than the magic ban, so she responded to it by going “:) That’s nice, Dad” and socking away a bunch of books before they could go on the fire, and now she’s just a sorceress on the dl. This is approx. a first season finale reveal, because her real superpower is being able to keep her mouth the hell shut. I literally cannot with how nobody in Merlin ever exchanges information, so shortly after Peter and Reed learn this they exchange secrets, like sane people, which opens up their resources a bit.

That said Sue is an extra legitimate royal, not the Morgana equivalent. Maybe Gwen should be Gwen, especially since I have thought Gwen/Johnny/Peter has potential since reading Spider-Man/Fantastic Four (which if you read an earlier ask, I recommend if you want to see new art of Gwen being mean in hair clips). But Peter/Gwen and Merlin/Freya are like...same energy except the latter wasn’t as well done. And Merlin’s Guinevere honestly more reminds me of Betty. Morgana--

(wheeze)

(cough)

Okay I thought this trying to reconcile as much of the cast as possible and I now can’t unthink it so. The king’s ward is Dorrie Evans. Yes she goes nebulously sapphic evil witch queen. Sure she was an unpleasant teenager and readers hate her, but you know what, I’ll simp, whatever. Let Dorrie poison some people. In a cape. This feels natural to me. Also Betty Brant and Dorrie Evans???? Betty/Dorrie vibes???? I guess!!!!

So like. The thing where Arthur gets mystically whammied by love potions once a month, except also Johnny’s normal relationship-anticipating giddiness happening organically mixed in, the part before he actually starts dating someone and becomes immediately depressed. Peter is in the bg sarcastically dismissing magical incidents saying he can’t even tell the difference, and Reed is like 😬 Please Check Anyway. Peter’s not, haha, Peter’s not jealous, Johnny is just an idiot, and, okay maybe Peter is a little jealous! But it doesn’t matter because the prince is going to marry some noble and--

Reed: Prince Johnathan is a bit like a little brother to me, so Please Stop Telling Me About Your Problems.

Reed/Sue is reciprocated but on permanent hold for class reasons. Spideytorch is in the same boat except they’re also stupid and working it out by dating their way through the whole country, except Peter is actually into that and Johnny is not.

The dragon is...Ezekiel?????? That’s the right level of wise wry mentor who’s very shady and will kill you, so he’s a dragon now. And when he tells Peter he’s the (other) chosen one, Peter full stop doesn’t believe him. This disbelief goes on extensively. Peter is not a fate-oriented person. Johnny would love to hear about the fate thing, but no one will tell him.

Literally I’m just going to add more chronologically unmoored medievalish shit to Merlin now to cram more of the cast in. There’s some kind of town crier/herald outfit, and Jonah is their boss. He’s just out in the road yelling sometimes even though he can delegate that. The buglers otherwise known as Bugle staff named Peter’s vigilante persona the Spider, which was supposed to sound menacing but is in practice also cool. This is out-of-universe fairly equivalent to Merlin’s real name as a neat two-syllable animal word and possible title. In-universe maybe I’d elbow out Emrys and just use this. Merlin is already very servants-don’t-work-like-that, so Betty just also has two jobs for no reason so she can knock elbows with them.

MJ is the court jester and knows absolutely everything, which is a dramatic mid-game reveal that isn’t exactly foreshadowed so much as always possible while carefully obscured from the viewer (the reader). Before this she’s already a Wise Fool, Shakespeare-ways archetype character, it’s just not clear how much. She is the most important character in Homestuck Merlin Spider.

Every ship is real for at least 30 seconds. Most of the extended FF cast are either magical antagonists or weird nobles.

Ben????? (Grimm, I mean. Ben Parker is dead. Ben Reilly is a recurring episodic plot.) This show was painfully formulaic and would simply not keep someone with any version of his deal in the main cast, but he’s a full quarter of the FF so. A magical accident approximated his rock body deal. Maybe specifically tying him to ~the magic of the land~. And then, uh. Wandering the country is too satellite-like. Hiding out in a forbidden castle wing is interesting but doesn’t do him justice. So I guess it’s a come and go semivoluntary transformation thing that’s kept secret? Rock werewolf. Were-rock. Good opportunity to fake out like you’re going to do a monster of the week plot, and then he contributes to the tension to abolish the magic ban.

Knights?? Wyatt is there from the beginning, being tall and reassuring (holding a sword edition). Not sure how him or his immediate ancestors got to Europe and then ended up this involved with the local nobility, but it was probably exciting. And Flash, or he’s an early addition. Either way he’s from the same village as Peter and is approximately White’s Kay, except directed at the wizard instead of the future king, and otherwise you can completely superimpose their comic dynamic including the fanboying over the secret identity angle, which is entertainingly seditious. ...Others. I don’t know enough FF characters for this. I’ve accidentally implied the eventual addition of Bennet Brant, but his evil sorcerer of the week energy is very strong, so maybe not. Randy eventually because I already implied the Robertsons and can see it.

This is so long, covers nothing, and explains none of the namechecks. Using both these characters’ franchises in one fusion is too much stuff. I keep not talking about the core relationship because it’s just. Like That. I don’t feel like I need to elaborate on the Merthur dynamic, even transposed on a different ship. It’s Just Like That.

[arianajbb]

FIC RECS - 2

💕 stay by @you-are-my-sanctuary

A road trip to Arizona goes wrong when you catch the attention of a familiar looking dark haired man with steely blue eyes.

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💕 Tell Him, Not Me by @zsiopao

here y/n l/n lands a role in a new television series that will put her relationship to the test.

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💕Stalker by @you-are-my-sanctuary

In which Bucky has a crush on the new PR manager and is being an adorable stalker.

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💕 What Could’ve Been by @you-are-my-sanctuary

Steve stays in the past when returning the stones, leaving you behind and erasing everything you two were to each other. Decades pass and he wonders if he made the right decision. Especially since the memories of you still lingers in his mind years after.

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💕  Let Your Spirit Fly by @starlightcrystalline

At the end of a long week, all you want is to get home. Fate has other ideas.

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💕 painted with bruises by @harryspet

In which Bucky kidnaps you in order to get close to his enemy, Steve, but realizes that Steve isn’t the hero he used to be.

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💕 Wolf, Partner, Gloves... by @revengingbarnes

HYDRA’s words make Bucky go into Winter Soldier mode. Then he meets you, and you make for him words that will bring him back to normal.

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💕 Sleeping With A Friend by @wkemeup

You wake up in Bucky’s bed after a night you’re certain will only break your heart.

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💕 An Unpredictable Reunion by @head-always-up-in-a-dreamworld

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💕 American Boy by @quarantined-with-bucky

Request: So basically buckyxreader where she is a super successful businesswomen and awfully confident but when she’s with bucky she feels insecure as many women want him and she’s insecure of nat. Based on “American Boy” by little mix where bucky is her american boy and the other girl in the song is nat. So like angst with a happy ending (maybe smut if you’re comfortable idk idk).

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💕 Uptown Girl by @brooklyns-boys

You’re a spoiled, shallow party girl who enjoys pushing any button you can find. When your parents put their foot down, giving you the choice between marrying a suitor of their choosing, or being cut off from your money, you’ll have to decide between luxury and the only person who’s ever given a damn about you.

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💕 pictures of girls by @subtlebucky

you’re prepared for a fun-filled weekend with a friend you haven’t seen in a while. instead, you get a weekend with the guy who sort of rejected you and a camera. what could go wrong?

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💕 don’t forget to sing by @sunmoonandbucky

You meet someone new in the most unlikely of ways during the quarantine in New York City.  An alley is six feet apart, right?

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💕 bloody by @buckycuddlebuddy

he looked feral; his eyes black, face contorted in something devilish, lips blood red and shiny and the smirk on his face was promising more than he already had given.

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💕 Home by @softlybarnes

Bucky comes home from his second tour overseas, after a long time away from the reader.

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💕 Kiss Me Better by @blissfullylostinarabbithole

Bucky has your heart, but he seems to despise you. Loki comes up with a plan to make him realize just what he’s missing.

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💕 x by @blissfullylostinarabbithole

Bucky receiving his first piece of fan-mail.

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💕 My Roommate’s Boyfriend by @angstysebfan

Your roommate’s boyfriend and you do not get along. You don’t even know why anymore. When your roommate has to move unexpectedly across the country, you both begrudgingly drive her car to her new home. Adventure, angst, and secrets come alive.

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💕 life with tiny and beefy by @wiensrsoldier

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💕 Safe Place To Land by @sunlightdances

You and Bucky are both standing up for Steve and Peggy’s wedding. Checking in at the hotel for the weekend, you’re horrified to realize there’s been a problem. A big problem.

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💕 A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes by @green-eyeddragonfanfiction

Female!Reader is an Omega. Alphas and Omegas are rare, and Reader’s been able to avoid alphas through sheer force of will and luck in equal parts.

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💕 we’re up all night to get lucky by  @nsfwsebbie

Your soldier comes home after his prevailing victory.

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💕 Jealousy Looks Good On You by @tinymalscoffee

You go to your favorite coffee shop after your date from the morning before never shows up.

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💕 x by @sinner-as-saint

uni!seb having a thing for boobies.

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💕 Everything by @mariessecretfantasies

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💕 Stardust And Starfish by @i-am-a-closet-fanfic-fiend

“Hey we kissed once in kindergarten but I haven’t seen you since and I couldn’t remember why you were so familiar.”

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💕 The Flaw Of Belief by @winterdaybreak

Y/N and Bucky fight over who can be more spiteful, who hates who more. Neither really mean it, but Bucky might just win.

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💕 dear... whoever by @whistlingwillows

a mandated series of long and short diary entries from the new head of R&D for Stark Industries.

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💕 starring role by @baezen

in which Hollywood’s former hottest movie star faces his biggest challenge yet – proving that he’s still worth the starring role

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💕 Mr. and Mrs. Barnes by @cherrypickertheory

You and your husband, Bucky, live a normal life in the suburbs of Washington, D.C. Or you did, that is, until you both realize that the other is a spy.

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💕 kitten by @buckycuddlebuddy

“you know,” bucky started, voice low and raspy. “i think i have spoiled you too much lately.”

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💕 Summer Days by @sleepypanda27

You meet a handsome stranger at the beach.

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💕 Power Over Me by @sinner-as-saint

CEO James Buchanan Barnes is a dominant. And he’s spent the last 5 years searching for his perfect submissive. Then one night, he finds you. He thinks everything will fall perfectly into place now; but he thought wrong. Turns out your unfortunate past which still haunts you to this day, and some of his enemies are, well, connected. Things go wrong. And your bond with your dom is tested in many ways…

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💕 Bucky & the Beast by @thejamesoldier

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💕 House Pride by @delusionalwriterr

After encountering Bucky during a Quidditch game, both of you grow attached to each other. But is the attraction enough to overcome the disapproval of your brother, Tony, and the messy past between your families?

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💕 Meet Me In The Hallway by @yikeswtfmate

Y/N and Bucky have hated each other since they were children and now they’re forced to live together, whether they like it or not.

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💕 Postcards by @sebbytrash

Takes place after Civil War. Bucky is your best friend but of course you’re in love with him. He goes off to travel the world and rediscover himself, sending you Postcards along the way, whilst you struggle with your feelings.

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💕 x by @moteldwelling

(this isn’t a fic but it’s amazing omg)

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💕 Helpless by @prongsies

Sirius loved you. Loved you enough to let you go. Loved you enough to selflessly step back, allowing you to love someone he knows could give you the love you deserved - even if it hurts.

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💕 What Is, And What Should Never Be by @whoisbxcky

You wake up one morning to find yourself in an alternate reality, in which the Avengers never came to be, and your friends are living perfect civilian lives. However, things are not all they appear to be, and you find yourself facing the worst fear you never knew you had.

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💕 Impaled by @revengingbarnes

You’ve been pining after Bucky for months. A compromising situation during a mission brings you a lot closer to him than you expected.

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💕 Helpless For You by @sgtjbuccky

A blind date has lead you and Bucky to the fourth date. Each one proving that you’ve got it bad more than prior and it doesn’t quite matter what will happen - you will keep on falling for that handsome devil and you don’t even mind.

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💕 Flowers by @bucky-the-thigh-slayer

Love can take a while, but the right love is always worth time, and some old fashioned gestures.

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💕 The (not naked) pin-up calendar by @bitsandbobsandstuff

When you ask for a favor, Bucky (very) grudgingly agrees. What can you do to thank him? Return the favor, of course.

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💕 Rogue Angel by @harryspet

Bucky tasks himself with deprogramming you, a former hydra soldier. Will he be able to show he cares for you as his Daddy or will your training stop you from seeing the truth.

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💕 Saving The Day by @jbbmoved

On your way back home, you are being followed by a couple of creeps. When your eyes fall on the most impressive and handsome Avengers, you don’t think twice and find yourself a fake boyfriend and savior.

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💕 Hidden Lagoons and Seashells by @after-avenging-hours

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💕 my heart, my angel by @paintedface

valentine’s day candy grams basically show how popular you are in the school, so you expect to get none, however, one, extremely sweet one, turns up on your desk. except you have no clue who it’s from.

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💕 Like Silver Glass by @thejamesoldier

Out of all the things you have seen so far in your life – a colorful plethora of alien species, artificial intelligence, an imaginative array of mutants and their abilities, cyborgs, superhumans, assassins, geniuses, etc. – merpeople fell actually pretty low on your ‘Shocking Things That Exist’ list.

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💕 Holiday Heist by @avengerofyourheart

When the art gallery you manage is robbed on Christmas Eve, you suspect the handsome stranger who flirted with you earlier in the day, but instead of involving the authorities, you take matters into your own hands with surprising consequences.

[smallerinfinities]

mad woman (nessian)

a/n: In which Nesta copes and Feyre interjects

hello! again, new here ☺️ this kind of just...happened? the idea came upon me late talking with @harryandmolly​ idk anyways hope you enjoy! if you don’t like modern AUs then this probably isn’t for you, but if you’re into that sort of thing and all the warnings that go with it then I would love to hear what you think!

tw: angst, coping with death, sex work, language

original art by the incomparable charlie bowater

Things were great until they weren’t. 

Nesta Archeron had been engaged. She had a father who loved her and a sister she adored. Until the plane crash. Until a faulty navigational system sent her fiancé, her father, and her sister into the side of a mountain on the way to her destination wedding.

She had gone to Hybern early, to get settled and calm her nerves, to plan around the security that Feyre had hired so that Rhys could attend the wedding. Nesta had told her not to bother, Rhys could stay in Velaris for all she cared. She’d gone and set it all up anyway. But it had all exploded when Nesta got the call that her world had ended and all she had left was a sister she resented and a brother-in-law with too high a profile. She was a tragic headline. A fucking media circus. 

High Lord Rhysand’s sister-in-law left at the altar in tragic plane crash. 

The press camped outside her Velaris studio for weeks. They’d only left when she had thrown a maelstrom of empty glass bottles out of her windows at them. Empty because she’d come back to Velaris and crawled inside a whiskey bottle and stayed there. She might be more whiskey than person now. The days were passing at a rate she couldn’t gauge anymore. Had it been hours or days or months since she’d picked up the phone in the middle of placing name cards on tables in the reception hall? She didn’t particularly care. Everyone who mattered was dead and being drunk was better than counting the minutes since her future had evaporated. 

A knock sounded at the door. 

Nesta removed the eye mask she was wearing and squinted at her phone. 7:15 AM. She’d been up all night again, had just laid down to try and sleep. Who the fuck was at her door at this hour?

She knew but she opened the door anyway. 

Feyre Archeron, High Lady of the Night Court, was in the hallway looking worried. Well, Nesta assumed she was looking worried. She could only see Feyre’s furrowed eyebrows between the oversized sunglasses and the wide-brimmed sun hat. She had wrapped her red-gold hair, twin to Nesta’s own color, into a low chignon to hide it away from prying eyes. A disguise. Nesta snorted. Feyre Archeron could be noticed in this city by a blind man a hundred yards down a busy avenue. It was the way she carried herself, the easy confidence. No one could mistake her for anyone but their High Lady. 

“What do you want?” Nesta crossed her arms over her chest, blocking the view into her apartment.

“Well, to start, a little respect for the person who has been footing your liquor bill for the last eight months.” Her red lips were turned down at the corners, tight. She angled her head past Nesta’s shoulder and crinkled her nose, “God, I don’t even need to see in there to know what it must look like. I can smell it from here. And I can see you.” 

Nesta kept her face a mask of annoyance but considered how she must look. Compared to Feyre’s heavy cream sweater and perfectly tailored tan pants, anyone would look slovenly but Nesta knew she'd let herself go.

A while ago, she’d taken to wearing Tomas’ shirts to bed. Then eventually she wasn’t getting out of bed so it was all the time, changing only when she found the strength to shower. Today’s shirt—more like this week’s shirt if she was being honest with herself—was an old striped dress shirt, one Tomas had maybe worn twice with a suit. It now had several stains from whiskey and whatever takeout she had ordered last night. She couldn’t quite remember. Chinese? Greek? 

It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. Her marriage was supposed to be one of convenience. They had been friends, had both gotten older and then tossed in the towel on dating. Tomas needed a cover for a lifestyle his parents forbade and Nesta...well Nesta wanted to be comfortable. Nesta wanted her sister to stop meddling and leave her alone. At least, she thought she did. 

But, no one had known. No one except Elain.

It didn’t matter. It didn’t matter. It didn’t matter. 

Her hair hadn’t been washed in days, it was matted in some places, stuck to her face in others. She knew her eyes were hollow, sunken in and lacking that fire people saw when they looked at her. She’d been avoiding her own reflection for weeks, had even covered the mirror by the door. Months ago, apparently. Eight months. 

Had it really been that long? Had she really been moving from bottle to bottle, takeout container to takeout container, for eight whole months? She’d barely left the apartment, had lost her job, happy to exploit Feyre’s seemingly unending pity. Pity she guessed had run out. 

Today. 

She didn’t care about that either.

“Come all this way to chide me, dear sister?” Nesta curled her lips as she moved aside to let Feyre through. Might as well let her see. 

“Thank you.” Her sister breezed into the little sitting area and stopped dead.

Her eyes scanned the room, marking the recycling bin first, overflowing with empty glass bottles. All different labels. Whatever Nesta could find quickest. Then the kitchen counters, filled with boxes of crackers and empty ramen noodle packages, cans of tuna and an open jar of peanut butter, anything that could be quickly consumed with minimal effort. She didn’t want to die, but she hadn’t exactly been concerned with living either. 

At last her eyes darted to the corner, over by the window, where a white dress hung from a hunting knife that had been punched through the wall. Straight through the center of the sweetheart neckline. Nesta had lost count of the weeks it had been there. A reminder. A memorial. Little circular burns littered the fishtail skirt, remnants of late nights with too much booze and an ashtray full of half-smoked blunts still on the windowsill. 

“Oh, Nesta.” Feyre’s hand came up to cup her mouth. Nesta raised her chin, refusing to feel reprimanded. “I’m sending Alis this afternoon.” 

“I can look after myself,” Nesta hissed through her teeth. 

“Clearly,” Feyre threw her arms wide and turned in a circle, “you cannot. You know I came here hoping you were getting better. I gave you space, knew you blamed me for what happened. At least partially. But it’s time, Nesta. I lost them too. But I don’t have the luxury of drinking and smoking my way into oblivion on my sister’s dime.” 

“Is this just about the money?” Nesta asked incredulously, “I’ll fucking pay you back if that’s what you’re worried about.” 

“No, no,” Feyre brushed a lock of hair out of her face, frustrated, “it’s not the money. I don’t care about the money. Neither does Rhys. We just want you to come back to the land of the living.” 

“Ah, yes. The royal We.” Nesta sat abruptly on her sunken couch and leaned forward, not caring that she was just wearing a pair of underwear beneath the oversized shirt, “how is dearest Rhys? High Lording as well as ever I presume. Now with better reasons than ever to hate me.” 

“He doesn’t hate you,” she said too quickly, wringing her fingers for a moment before she whispered, “we...we missed you at the funerals.” 

Nesta’s blood ran cold. Her eyes swam with tears that wouldn’t fall.

“I know why you didn’t show,” Feyre couldn’t look at her, “I almost understand it...but we still missed you. Father was interred with full honors of the Night Court. I’m having a garden planted for Elain up at the estate. You should come see it when you’re ready.” 

Nesta really needed a drink. Feyre needed to leave. She couldn’t do this. Not now. Not today. Not ever. 

“Get out.” 

“Nesta—”

“Get out.” Nesta’s voice was low, lethal. 

“Fine,” the High Lady voice was back in full force, “I only really came to give you this.” She pulled out what looked like a business card from her freshly pressed pant pocket, “this might seem...forward. But, I think it might help you. Rhys and I use the service sometimes when we’re looking for something different. I know you won’t go see someone. This might be a different kind of therapy. Tell her I sent you, she’ll know what to do.”

“Fine, fine,” Nesta took the card from her, hoping it would get her to leave faster, “get out.” 

“Nesta,” Feyre stopped and took a breath, her hand wrapped around the doorknob, “please do be discrete.” 

Nesta furrowed her brow, but nodded. She had been, for the most part. Except on nights she was too blitzed to remember her own name, let alone that her sister was High Lady of this region. 

“I’m still sending Alis,” Feyre wrinkled her nose again as she opened the door and strolled out. And that was that. No goodbye. They hadn’t ever been good at those. 

Nesta blinked at the door, the apartment suddenly feeling small and cramped. She turned over the card in her hand. It had only a name and a number. AMREN. 202-555-0187. She flicked it onto the table. Whatever, she thought as she sauntered over to the kitchen and took a swig from the nearest whiskey bottle. 

↞↠

“Ms. Archeron.”

“Yes?” The tone of the man’s voice made her drop the place card she had been holding. 

“There’s been an accident. A plane crash,” he hesitated. Her eyes stopped seeing. Her body shivered with a bone-rattling chill despite the summer sun streaming into the room through the open windows. They couldn’t be—

“Say it.” Her voice was a breath on the wind. 

“There were no survivors.”

She didn’t hear the rest. Someone was screaming. A crash, glass breaking, warmth sliding down her leg. A sharp, metallic smell in the air. She couldn’t hear them calling her name, couldn’t feel their fingers gripping her skin, feel the pressure of the towel collecting the blood from the gash in her leg. 

A plane crash, he’d said. No survivors. 

Tomas was dead. 

Her father was dead.

Elain…she had just planted flowers for spring. 

A fresh scream ripped from her throat.

↞↠

She woke up with it echoing in her ears, heart pounding. Wrenching the fresh sheets off her clammy skin, she felt for the scar on her thigh, catapulting her back into the present. Nesta hadn’t let them stitch it for days, had wanted to remember. It had almost festered. Feyre had held her down while they numbed and sutured. Most of those days were lost now, either to shock or sleep, she didn’t know. It hadn’t taken long for the drinking to start. 

Her head was pounding. Alis had stormed the apartment hours earlier, tut-tutting about the stale stench, throwing open every window. Nesta actually appreciated the fresh air. She didn’t appreciate the old woman’s silent appraisal of her ruined wedding dress. 

“Don’t touch it,” Nesta had snapped. Alis had tut-tutted some more, cleaning as she went, but she left the dress alone. 

Now, with a clean apartment and nothing to keep her company but her own self-pity, she laid spread-eagle in her bed that felt too big in clothes that felt too clean. Nothing matched her insides anymore. The small, decrepit thing inside of her that shrivelled that day and rejected everything still living. Even herself. She had never been a particularly warm person, but Elain, sweet and beautiful Elain, had made her care about something outside of herself.

She got up to find something to dull her head. A bottle of ibuprofen sat on the coffee table, next to a decanter of scotch. She washed the pills down with the brown liquor and sat on the edge of the sofa, her head in her hands.

The silence pressed her on her eardrums. An oppressive lack of sound, only the barest of sounds audible on the street. Too quiet. For the first time in months it was too quiet. Her head shot up and focused, eyes darting to the card neatly placed in the corner of the table. 

Amren. 

What had Feyre meant, “a different kind of therapy”? Hell would have to freeze over before Nesta crawled onto a couch to talk about her feelings, Feyre had admitted as much. So what was this? 

She picked up the card and flipped it over. Simple, white, just the number in embossed black. The curiosity was going to kill her if she didn’t just call the number. She reached for her phone, hauled out from between the couch cushions by Alis earlier. It had been dead for weeks. She’d given up on ignoring the condolences calls and just let the battery drain. Probably why Feyre had shown up yesterday unannounced. She swiped past all of the missed call and voicemail notifications and pulled up the keypad. 

It only rang once. 

“Yes?” A clipped, cold voice answered the phone. 

“Uhh, is this Amren?” 

“Speaking,” her voice didn’t soften, “can I help you?” 

“My sister gave me your card,” Nesta didn’t like this woman. She wracked her brain to think of how this person could help her, especially when she didn’t particularly want anyone’s help. 

“And who, my dear,” Nesta could hear the snide smile in Amren’s voice, “is your sister?”

“Feyre,” Nesta huffed, “Feyre Archeron.” 

“Oh, Feyre darling! Why didn’t you say so?” Amren warmed immediately. Well, at least to a level above stone cold. “Yes, Feyre told me about you.”

“You must have read—”

“I don't read the news, dear girl,” Amren said, flippant. “I have someone perfect for you. I will send him. Already have your address.” 

God, she really needed to have a conversation with Feyre about boundaries. Who is she sending?

“Who are you sending?” Nesta had not been sober long enough for this. Her brain wasn’t firing quick enough to deal with whoever this person was sending to her apartment. 

“His name is Cassian. He’ll be at your apartment in two hours.” 

Two hours?!

“I can’t have anyone in my apartment in two hours! What is this??” 

“We call it therapy,” just like Feyre had, “you don’t need to do anything to prepare.” 

“But I don’t even—” The line went dead. 

Nesta stared at her phone. How could I prepare if I don’t know what to prepare for?

↞↠

Two hours later, Nesta was pacing. Nervous. She was rarely nervous but she was also rarely unprepared. This felt like a bad omen, like suspense in a horror film. Like this Cassian might jump out of the shadows at any moment from some secret portal. 

She had washed her hair but no makeup. She had put on leggings but no real pants. There were concessions she was willing to make and others she wasn’t. It didn’t matter that they were only concessions to her own pride. Feyre got one opportunity to meddle in Nesta’s life, one opportunity to try and control how she coped with losing everything. Nesta would endure it in her own home, in her bare feet, or she wouldn’t endure it at all. 

An assertive knock at the door made her jump. 

Her heart thundered. She hadn’t talked to a man in months, let alone been in a small space with one. Now there was one at her door. She padded across her expensive rug, smoothing her hair as she went. Her hand gripped the doorknob, giving herself a second to stop shaking. Breathe in, breathe out. She jerked the door open only to be left utterly speechless. 

The most beautiful man she’d ever seen was leaning on the door frame, forearms crossed over his massive chest. 

“Nesta?” one corner of his full mouth curved upward. He inclined his head behind her left shoulder after she nodded. “Gonna let me in?” 

“Why should I?” She challenged, angling her chin up at him. 

“Because,” his shoulder length black hair slid into his face as his towering frame looked down at her. He came closer and held her chin between his rough fingers, “you’re at least a little curious about what I’m doing here.” 

Nesta ripped her face from his hands and took a step away from him. His hazel eyes stripped her bare. How does he do that? He appraised her frankly, taking in her sloppily thrown together appearance. The baby hairs that clung to the side of her face, unable to stay in her top knot. Her soft curves that the oversized t-shirt she wore only hinted at. All the way down to her toes, the cracked polish left over from her wedding manicure, just a couple of splotches of color left. 

His gaze sent a warmth through her. She tried to will it away, send it back to the hell she belonged in. Shaking her head, she stuck him with a glare. 

“Fine,” she stepped aside, “come in and tell me what you’re doing here so I can tell you to get out.” 

He walked in smoothly, his gray slacks gripping his toned thighs with each stride. Too casual, Nesta thought, for a therapist, especially with his white shirt open at the collar and rolled to his elbows. Not that she actually believed whatever this was even approached therapy.

He stopped in the center of Nesta’s living room and turned, giving the place as detailed a once-over as he had given her. His eyes only paused briefly on the wedding dress still hanging in the corner, but he faced her again as if nothing were out of the ordinary. 

“So,” he took up so much space as he spoke, too big, too much life for this apartment that had only contained her hollow soul for so long, “everyone up to this point has referred to this appointment as therapy, correct?” 

“Yes,” Nesta replied, curt. “But you’re no therapist, are you, Cassian?”

He snorted, a challenge to her fire temper. She didn’t like to be mocked and somehow he knew that. “No, I’m no therapist.” 

“I’m what is referred to in the circles you run in as an escort, a friend, of sorts.” He looked her dead in the eye. No shame, no fear. Just a professional. “We call it therapy, first and foremost for discretion, but also because I’m here to make you feel better. Feel alive again. In whatever form that might take.”

Nesta stiffened. Her mouth dropped open. No. “My sister sent me a hooker? You’re telling me that, my sister, the High Lady of the Night Court, sent me a hooker?!” 

She could barely keep up with the 100 mile an hour thoughts racing through her head. It wasn’t long before the pacing started again. Feyre said she uses the service sometimes...with Rhys?! She maybe could have guessed that her sister and her ass of a husband were freaky but prostitutes?! Couldn’t they just ask someone? 

Nesta, please do be discrete, she’d said as she walked out the door. She guessed paying for silence was easier than risking a secret. Money is always the best form of currency. 

Well, I guess I fucking know why. And she set this up for me?! What in hell’s fire did she think she was doing?

Cassian just stood there while her brain worked, while it exploded with all of this new information. So still, a statue compared to her frantic pacing. He must deal with this a lot. But wait, don’t people usually know what they’re asking for?! 

“You’ve never–“ she couldn’t finish the question out loud. Sharing was something foreign to Nesta even when she wasn’t talking about sexual partners. 

“No,” he shook his head, “Amren wouldn’t have sent me here if I had. She just told me the context of the visit.”

“So, you’re here,” Nesta stopped in front of him, “to have sex with me?” The words came out a whisper. They sounded so foreign, so ridiculous. 

“I’m here to help you.” He took a step toward her. The walls came down fast.

“And why do you think you can help me?” The words cut through the space like a knife. Accusatory, incredulous, they almost stung passing over her vocal cords. 

“Because, dear Nesta,” he took another step toward her, and another, “I’m very good at helping people.” 

The warmth in her blood returned and warred with the acid coursing through her veins, the hate. It came raging back from this morning, from the past months, from ten minutes ago when this cocky prick knocked on her door. He was staring again, close enough to have to look down at her, just an inch or two from touching. 

“I don’t need help from a high-dollar whore,” she spat. The only sign that she’d hit her mark was a faint twitch in his eyebrow. 

“I’ve been called worse, sweetheart,” he drawled. “But let’s get one thing straight. I think you need help more than you’d ever admit. I don’t think you’ve taken a breath since then. I read the papers. A beloved dead sister. Absent from the funerals. You blame yourself for not being there, for not dying with them. The guilt warms your bed at night while you lie awake, as much a part of you as the alcohol that twinges your breath. It’s become so familiar you don’t remember what it’s like without it. Who would Nesta Archeron be without that dark stain on her conscience following her like a storm cloud? Will all those liquor bottles I saw outside answer that question for you? Will that tattered wedding dress?”

“How dare–“ she felt the door press against her back, unconsciously moving with him while he lashed at her burning soul, fire for fire. 

“Oh, I dare,” he continued, planting his hands on the door behind her, trapping her with his eyes. “Because take it from someone who knows, when you decide to wake up and live with what you have left instead of existing with everything you’ve lost, there may not be anything left to live with. And trust me, guilt makes a very lonely bedfellow.”

Nesta had barely blinked this whole time, refusing to let him have that victory. Even if everything he’d said had hit home. Even if everything he’d said had flayed her open and raked her insides across the coals. She still burned with that unyielding rage. 

“Is that what you say to all the girls that pay for your time?” she asked, cocking her head to the side. She was close enough to smell him, the warm spice of clove and sandalwood with a distinctly male musk. It was intoxicating. It was infuriating. 

“Some. Some of the men, too. I’m an equal opportunity tough lover.” 

She swallowed hard. He was close enough that if she moved an inch his hair might brush her cheek. “Is that what this is? Tough love? For someone you just met?”

“It’s the truth,” his breath tickled her face, the tension crackling like static electricity around them, “isn’t it?”

He sounded tentative for the first time, like maybe he’d overstepped. Is it really so obvious?

“Did Feyre pay you to say those things?” Or were they just written so plainly on her face?

“Nooo,” he said, lower than before, gentler, raising one of his hands like he might stroke her cheek. She cursed herself silently for hoping. He came closer then, his lips a hair’s breadth away from her ear, “Feyre paid me to fuck you senseless.” 

Goddamn him. Fire shot into her veins. Not the simmering fury of her anger but something deeper, hotter, pooling in her core. Her breath caught in a little gasp and he smiled. A wide, full grin with teeth that made him look more predator than man.

Her body was a traitor, but it made no difference. She was already burning in hell.

Cassian held still, letting her make the next move. Part of her wanted to make him stand there forever, punish him for what he said, what he knew about her, daring to say what no one else would with just one look. A different part of her wanted to rip him apart. 

“Come on, Nesta,” a prince of cats toying with his prey, “show me that fi–“

Her lips crashed against his. God, he was big. She reached around him, fingers tensed to claw at his back, and savored the muscles and sinews that made up the terrain. He pressed her into the door. His hands cupped her face, so gentle for a kiss that was anything but. Flames licked her skin everywhere he touched, at every point their bodies connected through clothing.

He leaned and gripped and suddenly she was taller than him, her legs wrapped around his middle, his fingers pressed into the curve of her ass. She gripped the sides of his face and guided him to the side, forcing herself deeper, her tongue brazenly exploring his mouth. He even tasted wild, like fresh mint and adrenaline. Her heart beat in her ears, deafening over the silence of the apartment. He moaned, so deep it vibrated in her chest.

Nesta broke first, pupils blown and breath ragged.

“Finally shut you up?” she asked, sagging back against the door, her head falling against the wood with a low thud. 

He….well, he growled. There was no other word for the sound that rippled through his whole body and found a home between her legs. Her toes curled and she thanked every god that he couldn’t see. 

“Pretty little acid tongue,” he pushed them off the door and walked her toward the bed, almost tripping twice over the plush rug. Nesta didn’t notice. She was too busy tearing at the buttons down Cassian’s chest. Each one revealed inch after inch of smooth golden skin. Licks of black ink stretched from his shoulders, mostly hidden by more shirt. She huffed, trying to shove it off, but instead caught his nipple by accident with her nails. 

His nostrils flared as he hissed and dropped her unceremoniously on the mattress. She bounced, breathless. Dangerously close to a giggle. Traitor. She schooled her features back to bored disdain. The only hint of lust was the glassy haze in her vision, honed in on Cassian’s bare chest. 

He had removed his shirt while she had been distracted by her traitorous body, discarded it somewhere above her. The black inked lines Nesta had seen stretched around his shoulders and down his arms in dark whorls and spirals. The tattoo was almost feminine in its pure decoration, a stark contrast to his cut biceps. It was beautiful. 

He was beautiful. 

“Careful, Nesta,” he chided, “someone might think you like what you see.” 

She gave him a filthy gesture. A deep, rumbling laugh escaped him as he took a step closer, his fingers grazing the outer seams of her leggings. From her ankle to her knee, where he stopped to make circles. He curved around her knee and gripped her legs, tugging her to the edge of the bed. The palms of his hands burned her skin straight through her leggings. He hadn’t tried to remove her clothes. She couldn’t decide if it was a tease or an insult. Probably both. 

“Are you just going to talk?” she cocked an eyebrow at him, “or are you going to do something productive with that mouth?” 

His eyes narrowed, “are you sure that’s what you want?” 

She wanted him. Damn her, she wanted him so bad she could barely stand to look at him. The guilt roiled in her stomach, that she should take pleasure while everyone she’d loved could no longer. He’d offered her help, but it would be her damnation. No, this was just a distraction. No amount of distraction could bring back Tomas, or her father, or Elain. 

Light from the city outside shifted and spread into the corner drawing her eye. The dress. Her wedding dress. In the night shadows, the blunt burns looked like angry, gaping voids. They whispered to her as she stared. Traitor, traitor, traitor. 

I’m here to help you. His words were poison. Bred from a kind of hope only Feyre, with her perfect life, could ever have again after what they had lost. Her want for Cassian’s body burned her from the inside, stoked the fires of the self-inflicted hell she’d cast herself into. Nothing more than a catalyst. She could take his body and burn for doing so, but she would not accept his help. 

“Cassian,” Nesta’s voice didn’t belong to her. She pulled her t-shirt up to just below her breasts, exposing her flat stomach and drawing his eyes to her waistband. “just do what you came to do.” 

The air chilled as he stiffened. Her heart raced, waiting for him, fingers teasing her bare skin. He didn’t move. She lifted a bare foot and ran it along his pant leg, coaxing him to touch her. He nodded, as if making some decision Nesta wasn’t privy to. His face, lit so beautifully by the moonlight, hardened into a mask. A smooth, smiling mask. Prince of cats no more. 

“Cassian?” 

“Dear Nesta, I do believe our time is up,” he leaned down and reached over her, his chest just grazing her belly, the only skin to skin contact they’d had. She swore she felt him shudder, but it was over in an instant. He quickly retrieved his shirt from behind her and pulled it on. 

She gaped at him, “what do you mean our time is up?” 

“I mean,” his eyes shot right through her with cool confidence, “it’s getting late and I do need my beauty sleep. I must be going.” 

“But–“ she didn’t understand. Isn’t this what he wanted? Isn’t this how he gets paid? How can he leave? 

He buttoned up his shirt, swift and efficient. Little feeling or warmth. Nesta wasn’t sure what to do. Confusion quickly gave way to anger, boiling in her veins, flushing her skin.

“So, you’re not just a whore,” she hissed, “you’re a bastard whore that can’t even finish the job.” 

“So lovely meeting you, dear Nesta,” he turned with a sweet smile and opened the door, sending any tension between them out into the hallway. He breezed through the door, clicking it shut behind him so gently he might have been a phantom. 

Nesta slammed her head against the mattress and let out a frustrated scream so loud she had no doubt the bastard whore heard it.

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Cassian’s POV is next ❤️