#except when i take them at my aunt's house i guess

[columbidae-creature]

I see colourful (usually green) waves of light flowing across my vision in various patterns. the world feels as if it is rocking under my feet. these ones always come with a sense of unity with the world, as if I am seeing some larger pattern in the universe. they also come with a lack of desire to move or react to things, as in the moment, seeing the beauty and unity of the world has made me uninterested in functioning in human society. sometimes I see very weak/non corporeal people or animals. sometimes I see childhood objects I don't have anymore sitting on a shelf in my house. they usually go away when I blink. sometimes I bump into people, apologize, and then they disappear. sometimes I see downy grey feathers emerging from my arms.

when I am very anxious, and about to have a panic attack, I always smell this scent that's like a combination of ozone and strawberries. it is hard to describe.

i often feel insects crawling all over my arms/legs but tbh i'm not sure if that's actually caused by my nerve problems or not cause it does only happen where I have nerve pain. I can feel the feathers as they grow in.

I hear the ghosts of famous confessional poets (and a few other famous writers as well at times) talking to me. they are a mix of good and bad. I've had amazing conversations with them, and they are my friends, but they are also sometimes very cruel. they all have their own issues and like to make that my problem. Plath and Sexton are the worst about it, with them at times trying to get me to kill myself. however I have also had very beautiful and complex conversations with Plath about suicide. they are like a weird aunt you love but that also gives horrible unsolicited life advice you pretend to appreciate but that you never actually follow.

I don't like when people ask me if the voices tell me to do specific things, because that feels weird and like my entire existence is being boiled down to this one thing, but also because you are giving them ideas. a friend once asked, upon hearing of my disordered eating "do the voices tell you not to eat?" and at the time the answer was no, but then a few days later, guess what they were saying to me. :/

I get milder command voices as well, that i usually follow if they are not hurting me, like taking a different route to get somewhere or putting an object in a certain place.

the voices also do not want me to tell mental health professionals about them, which is tricky.

I also get a lot of nonsense almost-talking. it sounds almost exactly like those hallucinations you get when about to fall asleep, except that i am fully awake.

rarely I have felt an earthquake happening when there isn't one.

Let's fight some of the misconceptions about hallucinations. If you have audio or visual hallucinations, either frequently or only under stress or what have you, tell me what they're like and how you deal with them.

I'll start.

My audio ones are music, or murmuring. The music is like a lively adventure 8bit tune, like old Zelda music, or a tasty guitar or bassline from another room to some rock song i can never really put together into a whole thing. The murmuring is like hearing a party in another room, people talking. Sometimes, lately more often, I'll have clips of things stuck on repeat in my head over and over. Tom Cardy's voice has been particularly invasive the last several weeks, but it's always weird because it's not accompanied by the music, it's acapella. It's just his voice.

Visual most often when it's in full swing I'll see little borrower sized shadows darting around my room or on tabletops, just fast enough I can't get a solid look at them. Other times I'll see things form out of the corner of my eye like shadows, especially in corners. If I'm in low light or have my glasses off it's more oppressive and scary feeling because I can feel and see something but not see details no matter how close it gets.

I'm pretty sure I've mentioned these all before on this blog a few times. But I can't help but feel like it's important to bring them up now and then, and to invite others to talk about theirs, so there's less stigma around it. Stigma exists because of misunderstandings and fear, and if we can erase those components then the world will be a slightly better place I think.

[ciudaddelapazmp3]

The horrors are indescribable but you've got to serve

[slasherbvnnie]

Until We Found You  Part II

Hi again! Welcome back for part II of Until We Found You, please head the tags: Modern Day College Scream AU, Obsessed AFAB!Reader, Eventual Poly!Ghostface x reader, Eventual NSFW, All characters 18+

Part I Part III Part IV Part V Part VI Part VII Part VIII Part IX

The police were practically useless with your case. After your parents had arrived, they checked the house while they told you to pack a bag. You went back upstairs, still cautious in case the killer was lurking somewhere. You felt your foot slip beneath you, remembering the papers on the floor. You picked them up from the ground, stuffing them into your backpack, following it up with clothes and whatever else you needed to take. You looked out of your window, seeing a red beetle pulling into your driveway and Tatum and Sidney getting out of it. You sighed, finishing packing your bag up, hearing the police begin to make their way to your room. “You can all interview her tomorrow, I want her somewhere safe for the night,” you heard your mom's voice from down the hall, putting your shoes on before peeking your head out and looking up at the officer in front of you. “Dewey,” you called out, seeing the man look back at you. “Hey, are you okay? Did the paramedics check you out already,” he questioned, nodding and offering a tiny smile. “Yup, I wasn’t hurt, just kinda scared I guess,” you murmured, what if the killer got the smart idea to frame it all on you now? Why didn’t they kill you? You weren’t scared for your life, just scared they would ruin it by setting you up.

“Oh, good, yeah. You gave your statement already, right?” He asked, you gave a hum in response. “Crazed masked killer wearing a black outfit, yup. Creepy call too, he asked me about an old horror movie, you know, the one I named Irena after. It was fucking creepy,” You said, recalling the incident from less than an hour ago. “Dewey!” Tatum called, pushing past the other officers with Sidney trailing right behind her. “Oh my god, are you okay? Did they hurt you or anything,” Tatum asked as she pulled you in for a hug. “No, I’m- I’m okay,” you reassured her as Sidney wrapped her arms around you as well.

“Honey,” your dad called, making you pull away from the girls. “The Machers said they would be happy to keep watch on all you kids tonight. I’d feel a little better knowing all your friends will be with you,” he said, you nodded. “Yeah, I’d feel better too, did you guys call Randy and Billy already?” You asked as you turned back to Sidney and Tatum. “Yeah, we called them on the way, we asked Stu if we could stay at his since his is the biggest. We kinda figured you didn’t want to be alone tonight,” Sidney said, making you smile a bit as you nodded. “Thanks,” you said before going to your parents. “What about you guys? Where are you going to stay tonight,” you didn’t want the killer to go after them, next to Irena they were the only thing you cared about. “We’ll be at your aunt's house, we will be safe. You just try relaxing okay? We’ll pick you up in the morning to take you to the station,” your mom said before hugging you. “I’m so glad you’re safe,” she sighed out.

“I guess you aren’t the killer after all, or maybe you have an accomplice helping you to throw police off your trail,” Randy said in a teasing way to you, huffing when you kicked at him. “Maybe it was you, Randy. Maybe you saw one too many Halloweens and thought you’d take some inspo,” you said as you put your head back onto Sidney’s lap. “Yeah, Randy’s a perfect killer. He probably did it because you wouldn’t sleep with him,” Stu added, making the group laugh except for Randy. “And who says it wasn’t you, Stu? Maybe you got jealous of her seeing your girlfriend's tits more than you,” Randy retorted, making Stu laugh as he looked at you. “Yeah, what's to say it wasn’t me trying to gut you tonight?” Stu asked in a teasing manner, Tatum hitting his shoulder as Billy sounded in. “Can you two idiots shut up about it? Watch the fucking movie,” he huffed out. “Billy’s right guys, I just want to relax tonight. I don’t want to hear about that stupid fucking mask anymore,” you huffed out. You didn’t want to admit it, but your heart was a little hurt. You had been obsessed with the killings, you didn’t think Weary had killed Maureen, you think it was someone who was still on the loose, the same someone who killed Casey and Steve. The use of knives, the fact that no one saw their face, and how they were killed, it was all too coincidental. You spent over a whole year obsessing over them, only to be betrayed and nearly killed. You were almost killed by the one person who made you feel alive again, someone who brought you excitement, you were hurt by that.

“I’m gonna grab a beer, anyone else want one,” Stu asked as everyone chimed in. “Then someone come and help,” he demanded as he stood, you got off of Sidney’s lap and stood up, “I’ll help. Got anything other than shitty beer down there?” You questioned as he laughed, “I think,” he replied as you two headed down to the garage.

“You know, I’m surprised the horror hottie would follow someone all alone to a dark place,” Stu teased, earning him a shove to his shoulder. “Shut up, Stu. Everyone knows you would probably go searching through my underwear drawer before trying to kill me,” you laughed, “who says I didn’t?” He questioned, making you stumble in your walk for a moment. “Chill out, I was with Tate on the phone while it was going on. I’m just fucking with you,” He chuckled, opening up the fridge and handing you the beers. “Got patron or hard lemonade, take your pick,” he hummed, you pointed at the lemonade. “Hey, Randy’s getting cut off the dumbass keeps talking about his theories,” you heard Billy from the doorway, Stu laughing as he took one of the beers from your hands. “More for me then,” Stu said as he closed the fridge. You turned and saw Billy looking at you, a bit more intensely than his usual crazy eyes. “What? Scared to be near the girl who almost got killed,” you joked as he flashed a smile. “No, surprised you’re still alive though.” “Same here,” Stu said as he looked at Billy, Billy narrowed his eyes at Stu for a moment before he went over to you to help with the beers. “Maybe ghostface has a thing for you or something,” Billy said as you laughed. “Doubt it, I think he got scared that my parents were getting home,” you said, which was partially true, but you couldn’t deny that maybe your obsession helped you survive tonight. “Maybe you have a thing for ghostface then,” Stu chimed in, making your head whip to him. You blushed, shaking your head, “as if,” you huffed out, giving a little laugh to cover up your nervousness.

Time passed by quickly that night, you all spent the night drinking and watching movies, mostly horror movies involving Jamie Lee Curtis since Stu insisted on watching them. Tate was cooped up in Stu’s room with him, Randy had passed out on the couch and Sidney and Billy were probably in the guest room fast asleep. You had snuck out into the backyard, letting your mind wander once again as you stared up at the stars. Your phone began to ring, you stared at it and debated answering before seeing it was Sidney’s number. You sighed and picked it up, wondering if she needed anything. “Hey,” you answered, hearing a familiar voice. “The Machers, huh? Don’t you know not to split up?” The voice questioned, making you sit up. “You let me live, why are you calling?” You asked, looking around before standing and heading back for the door to get inside. “I wanted to talk to my fan, I saw all your papers. Thought you would like a phone call, or are you mad I didn’t slit that pretty little throat,” the person taunted as you messed around with the doorknob, it had locked behind you when you left. “That was before I realized I was on your kill list,” you retorted, heading around the house to the front door to wake Randy up. “No hard feelings, it was before I realized you were a fan. Leave your window open when you’re back at home. I would like to see what my pretty little fan is willing to do for not slitting her throat.” The killer said, chuckling as you blushed a little, about to respond before you heard the beeping that indicated they had hung up. You smiled slightly, happy that they wanted to see you again.

The front door opened, Billy looking at you with panicked eyes and a knife in hand. “Jesus, I thought you were the weirdo, I heard you trying to open the back door,” he said, making you laugh a bit. “Yeah, sorry, the back door was locked,” you said as he moved out of the doorway. “Come on, get inside before you end up like Casey,” he said as you walked in, “not funny, Billy.” You said as you yawned. “Mind if I crash with you and Sid? I don’t want Randy to make any passes,” you asked as Billy laughed, heading to the kitchen to put up the knife. “Be my guest, you and Sid can have the bed, I’ll take the floor.” “What a gentleman,” you teased. “Shut up before I let Randy take a stab at you.” He said, mimicking a stabbing movement as you laughed and pushed him.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for saying I'm not rich?

Wait stop hear me out

So the thing is, my father is wealthy. Or at least he made enough money to have two Ferraris and a boat, which to me are the most useless things because why would u spend that money on this when u could spend it on food or commodities but details

When I was young, any time I asked for money or something, he'd make a huge deal about it. He'd make me feel awful, so awful that I just stopped asking for anything at all, starting from my teenage years to my college years, and I survived entire months, living alone during college, with 50 dollars to get by. For groceries and bills. And yes, he was nice enough to pay for my rent (170 dollars back then) but every time I'd be the worst piece of garbage for asking him. Worst thing was, I wanted a job, but he had this delusion that any sort of job that would take me, basically customer service, i wanted was "underneath my daughter" so he legit didn't let me and he'd go to big, big hoops to not allow me to do so

I'd never buy clothes or other necessities: I spent my teenage years just putting together what I got from relatives to make some savings, and I'd survive on that. He'd go splendid on my birthday and christmas, I guess, he'd buy me things, but I came to dread those days because the thought of him spending money -and how he reacted to it- always sent me into a blind panic so yes even though I got nice gifts I was never happy about it and I really really don't like my birthday

So I was always the girl who had two Ferraris to my friends, and they'd always get mad at me when I honestly told them "actually Im not rich" or "I'm sorry I'd rather go to the cheaper place" - because I legit thought i wasn't - and called me an asshole. But This was my father's money and I lived with him, but I rarely saw an actual dollar, everything I bought was with my savings and I spent years and years accumulating it, hoarding it. So I lived in this fancy house, but I'd wear 3 dollar pants and worn shoes because that's what I could afford with my money.

Note that even paying my school fees was a nightmare to me, because my father openly said I was a parasite and screamed at me but whATEVER

So um, my friends always said i was an ass for saying I didn't have any money, when my father was swimming in it. But when u survive on the allowance ur aunt gave u for an entire month, u really don't feel like it? and I always always felt so bad about it, because it felt like they were right and I was an asshole for pretending I don't have money. Except I didn't. I really didn't. That was all his, not mine, and while he did pay school and college flat rent, he was always making sure I knew what a burden I was for it. So yes, I'd still say I was actually not rich - even though I was lucky enough to have someone pay for me.

Anyway yeah AITA for saying I'm not rich? Tbh I really don't know if I can consider myself that, when it's not mine and I've never actually used it, it doesn't feel like it, but some tell me that's my privilege and I guess that could be right

Note: I am a grown adult now, I live on my own, pay my own things and have my job. And he's happy that he doesn't have to pay for me anymore, is baffled by my relationship with money (I don't like spending it ahah), not so much about me not living with him though. (The weird thing is he wants me with him, but not to take care of me which, honestly, valid) I do have a better relationship with him, but we never talk money because I live on minimum wage - ironically enough in costumer service - and he doesn't, so to me spending 60 on groceries is a lot (150 bills destroy me honestly, so winter is a joy) and he always, always mocks me for it. It's weird how he goes around with a Rolex and snuffs me for wearing Primark pants and then people constantly just... Think I have money at all and get mad at me when I say I don't

Anyway yeah AITA for saying I'm not rich? Tbh I really don't know if I can consider myself that if it's not mine, if I've never actually used it, it doesn't feel like it, but some tell me that's my privilege and I guess that could be right

[leupagus]

I firmly believe Stannis is the Westerosi equivalent of the dad who hates cats, doesn't want to get a cat, makes a big deal about not liking the cat, and ends up being the cat's absolute favorite (except instead of a cat it's a huge fuckoff direwolf with boundary issues)

x

The door to the workroom opened and Ghost bounded inside, snuffling at Stannis's hands. Lady Stark, following behind, narrowed her eyes at him as she closed the door.

"You fed him something recently, didn't you?" she said. Ghost, finding nothing, gave a disapproving huff and flopped down by the fireplace.

He had, but that was besides the point. "What are the Knights of the Vale doing here?"

"Just don't give him chicken, we had a terrible problem with the henhouses when they were puppies," she said absently, and circled round to sit at her chair on the far side of the work table. "I brought them here for you."

Stannis, still standing, paused. "For me?"

"Yes, for you. I can't bend the knee, Your Grace. Not yet. But I'm not entirely useless."

"Of all the adjectives I've thought to describe you with, 'useless' has never been one of them."

She smiled at that and looked down at the papers strewn across the table. "Littlefinger — Lord Baelish," she corrected, "had plans for the North. Marrying my Aunt Lysa and becoming Lord Protector of the Vale wasn't enough for him; he wanted more."

"How much more?" Stannis asked as he took his seat again. He was already well able to guess the answer.

"Everything," she answered, a distant look in her eye that Stannis did not like. "He wanted to marry me off to the Boltons. I think the plan was for you you to come sweeping down from the Wall and either take Winterfell or kill out enough of the Bolton forces to weaken them. At which point Littlefinger could come riding to my rescue with the Knights of the Vale. He'd have a ward at the Vale who looked to him for approval, and a new Lady of Winterfell who'd be grateful to him for saving her from monsters twice over." She nodded at his moue of distaste. "Yes, well, he always did consider me one of his cyvasse pieces, to be moved around the board as needed."

Stannis had avoided Baelish at King's Landing, insofar as he could while both of them served on Robert's Small Council. But he well remembered how Baelish spoke of women, how effortlessly he used them and used them up. What damage had he inflicted on a young, friendless girl while he'd had her in his custody? No wonder Lady Stark had fled from him at the first chance of escape.

If that's what had truly happened. The story from the Riverlands was that Baelish had been killed by his own men, and there was no reason to doubt it — such a treacherous man would have succumbed to treachery sooner or later. But Lady Stark had proven herself capable of surprising things, these past months.

It didn't bear thinking of too closely. He cleared his throat. "The Vale, the North — if Baelish wanted the Iron Throne, he'd have needed more than two kingdoms at his command."

"The Riverlands probably would have been next," said Lady Stark with a frown. She pawed through the papers and pulled out a book. "I've been going through the maester accounts, such as they are, from the time my father left Winterfell until now," she said, flipping through it. "There are gaps, obviously, but Maester Wolkan's been keeping remarkably faithful records. Including copies of every raven scroll." She passed the book over to him, tapping at a particular passage. "This was sent to Roose Bolton from the Twins, only a few days before we began the siege."

"'The Blackfish traitor has stolen Riverrun from us. In the name of fellowship among the new Lord Paramounts and the victors over House Stark, we ask for your aid in catching this damned fish and roasting him on a spit.'" Stannis set the book back on the table with the peculiar urge to wipe his hands clean. "Walder Frey was always a craven. Wanting everyone else to fight his battles for him."

"He didn't even have the courage to murder my brother himself," said Lady Stark, taking back the book and closing it with a snap. "Though I've been told it was his son who murdered my mother. A great warrior family, clearly. Plus he doesn't know it's 'Lords Paramount' and not 'Lord Paramounts.'"

Stannis had seen flares of temper from Lady Stark before (on any number of occasions), but the icy rage in her voice gave him pause. Not for the first time, he considered how very merciful she had been with him, in the end. A man responsible for his own brother's murder, when she herself had lost her brother to the very basest of treachery — what might she have done to him, if he'd been anyone other than the rightful king?

Even as he wondered, he knew that his titles had not been what had stayed her hand in judgement. The Starks had never been particularly pragmatic, mostly to disastrous ends, and for all her intelligence Sansa seemed to have inherited a fair helping of the Tully pig-headedness on top of the Stark romanticism. King Stannis would have had no better luck against her judgement than Lord Stannis or Ser Stannis or even Goodman Stannis; it had been for some other reason she had spared him. He wondered when the bill would come due, and if it would ever be in his capacity to pay it.

Lady Stark had continued on. "I haven't found any record of a message sent back to the Twins, but I doubt the Boltons sent one. Lord Bolton were never much for rousing himself for anyone else's interests, even before he betrayed my family. I sent a raven to House Mallister of Seaguard; he sided with Robb during the war, and the Mallisters have always been loyal to House Tully." This time she handed over a scroll, flattened out but still curling slightly at each end.

It was only a bit longer than Walder Frey's, and about as useful. Blackfish holds fast; they have supplies within to last two years or more, and the siege set by the Freys will not last half a season. Brynden has not called the banners of the Riverlands, for Lord Tully is still hostage to the Freys. But if Lady Stark should call, Mallister will answer.

"'If Lady Stark should call,'" he repeated wryly.

"Lord Mallister bounced my mother on his knee when she was a babe, Your Grace," she said, equally wry. "All the oaths of fealty in the world can't replace the bonds of family and friendship between the northern Houses, even those not in the North itself."

"So I am beginning to understand," he said, handing the scroll back. "So the Twins are undefended at present."

"Most likely — Lord Frey is still there, but the bulk of his army will be at Riverrun." She leaned forward. "I've spoken with Lord Royce; he swears to me that Lord Arryn will bend the knee if you lead the Knights of the Vale and your own army and take the Twins. From there, you'll be able to break the Frey's siege at Riverrun — you'll have both the Vale and the Riverlands in a matter of months."

It was a fine strategy, but Stannis couldn't help but feel vaguely offended by it. "Do you mean to tell me that because you refuse to bend the knee, or promise any of your own army to my cause, you've delivered the Knights of the Vale and a promise of House Arryn's fealty as a...consolation prize?"

Lady Stark shrugged. "I suppose so," she admitted. "But a prize, nonetheless. I've only known Lord Royce since I was a guest at the Eyrie, but he seems an honorable man."

"He's an able commander, which is more to the point," Stannis contradicted absently, frowning down at the desk as he mulled it over. Two thousand men was no very great sum — but the Knights of the Vale were one of the best cavalry forces in the kingdoms, for all that they rarely strayed outside their mountains. With the Knights, Stannis's army could divide and take each half of the Twins in a pincer. It would be over nearly before it began.

"Of course, how foolish of me to consider such petty things as honor," grumbled Lady Stark.

Stannis ignored that. "Which leaves the Iron Islands to deal with. Has Lord Greyjoy sent any word?" Even the honorific stuck in his craw. Balon Greyjoy, the only other "king" to survive the war. Stannis had regretted the man's existence ever since the Greyjoy Rebellion.

Lady Stark shook her head. "Nothing. We've beaten back the last of the Ironborn holdouts, but I doubt they'll begrudge us that. My father always said the iron price never spent well. And they rightly blame the Boltons for whatever might have happened to Theon."

Which was still a mystery, so far as Stannis could tell. Theon Greyjoy had not been found among the dead at Winterfell, nor at the Dreadfort. If he'd escaped, there'd been no sightings reported. "No doubt you'll wish to execute him yourself, if he's found, but it would be better—"

"Execute Theon?" she said, her brow furrowing. "I — no. I don't wish that."

He leaned back in his seat. "You surprise me, my lady. I wouldn't have thought you squeamish after all this time." Perhaps that was his answer: she'd spared himself and Lady Brienne not out of principle but cowardice. In a way, it might be a relief: or at least it would be easier to understand.

She looked away. "Father did always say that whoever passes the sentence should swing the sword."

"That's not an answer. Your kindness does you credit, my lady, but if you show too much your people won't fear you. Which means they won't follow you, when the time comes." He'd said the same thing to her brother, more than a year ago when they'd argued over the fate of the wildlings and the drawbacks of mercy. The Lord Commander hadn't heeded the advice; was it a Stark family failing?

It must be, for Lady Stark sighed in frustration and said, "I don't want to be feared, Your Grace. And though you've failed to notice, I'm in no need of anyone following me anywhere. I'm staying—" She broke off and shook her head. "This always happens," she muttered, an odd smile tugging at her mouth.

He frowned. "What always happens?"

"This," she said, gesturing vaguely at the distance between them. "We can't go five minutes without arguing about something."

"That's not true." She sighed again and he reconsidered. "Perhaps if you didn't contradict everything I said."

"Perhaps if you had sisters, growing up," she countered. "My mother always said Arya and I were more trouble than all five of the boys put together." Her expression darkened and Stannis followed her thoughts — Theon had been one of those five boys. Raised alongside the rest of them, within these very walls.

"I thought you would want him dead," he admitted. "More than anyone else in the North."

She got to her feet and went over to the window, resting her arms on the sill as she looked out onto the courtyard. Stannis rose and joined her: down below were a dozen carts piled high with hay. All around them men and women were busy unloading the bales and stacking them up in a corner, where more workers took them away in a brisk line deeper into the Keep. Each cart was in the courtyard only a few minutes; when it was empty, the driver mounted up again and drove slowly out through the great gates, replaced by another cart yet more heavily laden. Supplies from the Northern Houses, to lay in for the oncoming winter.

"I don't want Theon dead," said Lady Stark after a long while observing in silence. He glanced over to her, but she was still looking down at the carts. "I don't want anyone dead, Stannis — there's been so much death. And more coming, if what Jon told you about the White Walkers is true."

She'd never called him by his name before; indeed she didn't seem aware she'd done it. "I believed him," he replied. "I still do. Your brother didn't seem the sort to make up stories."

"He always was honest to a fault," she said, turning to look at him at last. Her blue eyes were bright — tears, unshed. "I wish he'd come with you."

So did he, he realized. Not for his skill in battle or his perception or bravery: but only so his sister would not look so devastated at his loss. "He took an oath to the Night's Watch," he said, cursing at himself for his clumsy words even as he did so.

"I know that," she huffed. "Five minutes without arguing, is that really so difficult?"

"Evidently," he conceded, and she laughed. A watery sound, and she pressed the heels of her hand to her eyes quickly as she turned back toward the table, but laughter nonetheless.

[yourlastbraincell-kiwi]

A/N: Here’s a Mike Schimdt one shot. It’s my first one, hopefully it’s good. Much love!

Pairing: Mike Schimdt x reader

——————🫶🏽——————

It was a slow day today, nothing much to do considering I had already gotten off of work. I had nothing to do except sit on the couch and watch my favorite show. Especially since it was raining hard outside, any and everything I wanted to do outside when I got home, was completely swept away.

I got up heading into the kitchen, up until my house phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Hey, (Y/N).” I smile upon hearing the voice of my childhood best friend, “Mike? Hey, how are you?”

“Good, good. I know it’s so sudden, but can you do something for me?”

“Of course, what’s up?” I ask sitting up in my arm chair, ready to hear what he was going to ask of me.

“Can you watch Abby for me tonight?” He asked and before I could respond he talked over me. “I apologize for not asking ahead of time, but my babysitter cancelled on me, and I needed someone I could trust to watch her and-”

“Mike!” I exclaim, with a subtle laugh. “I’ll do it, you know I’ll always help out. I’ll do anything for you. I’ll be there in a few.”

“Thank you. Thank you so much.”

“No need. See you in a bit.” I hung up the phone and immediately got dressed.

It’s been a bit since I’ve seen Abby, and I missed her. She was such a sweet girl and just a ray of sunshine, when you get to know her. I’d take any chance I get to see her.

And it hurt when Mike told me that his aunt was trying to take custody of his little sister. She doesn’t see the good in him and how hard he’s trying to give her anything and everything.

I’d do anything in my power to stop them from getting separated.

————

“What are you doing?” Abby asked as she walked into her brother’s room, hearing squeaking noises from the bed, caused by her brother jumping on top of it. All an effort to grab the Nebraska poster from the ceiling, ripping a corner of it in the process.

“Abby, do you need something?” Mike asked slightly annoyed with a hint of frustration, at the fact that Abby was wearing his work vest.

“No,” Abby stated.

“Alright, quit playing and take that off,” Mike demanded as he walked to the foot of the bed, pointing at the security vest. “I have to go to work.”

“I know, I’m coming with you.”

“No, you’re not.” He said as a matter-of-factly. “Gimme the vest.”

“No.” She said, causing Mike to literally sink down to her level.

“Give me the vest. Now.” He demanded once more.

“I’m coming with you.” Abby said bending over, then both now in the same stance, yet both of them wanting two completely different things.

Abby and Mike continued to fight, as (Y/N) walked in, hearing the commotion. “Hello?”

I closed the door behind me as she stepped inside, slowly sliding the hood off my head.

“Hellooo?” I asked once more taking off my jacket and set it down on the couch, in a way that didn’t cause the couch itself to get wet from the rain.

I watched as Mike carried Abby to her room, and she grabbed onto the wall trying to stop him, “He’s taking my vest!” But her actions were soon proven futile against her stronger, older brother.

“Gimme it!”

“No!” Mike said as he closed the door to Abby’s room, stopping in the hallway to get a look at (Y/N). “She’s all yours.” He huffed walking into his room.

I laughed, walking down the hallway to Mike’s room and leaned up against the doorway. “So, what was that about?”

I asked as Mike went back to trying to get the poster down from his ceiling. “Abby being Abby, I guess.”

“I see.” I nodded, getting closer to the bed. “Need any help?” I ask as I followed him into his room.

He shakes his head ‘no’ as he managed to get the rest of the poster down without it ripping. I took a glimpse at the poster, “Trying to manifest going to Nebraska?”

He didn’t respond, as he was in somewhat of a rush to get his things together and head over to Freddy’s.

“Can I ask you something?” (Y/N) asked.

“I don’t really have the time, but you can ask me when I get back-”

“It’ll only take a second.” He lets out a sigh before, nodding continuing to grab his work items.

“Why now of all times, call me, to help babysit? Don’t get me wrong, I love Abby like she’s my own, but why you haven’t called me? Let alone texted me in almost three months. What’s going on?”

“Look, I’m sorry, I am. But I gotta go.” He rushed over to the front door, and followed behind him.

“Mike.” I said, one last time before he shrugged his shoulders and left closing the door behind him. I sigh and lock it before turning around to see Abby’s door, slightly ajar.

“You heard that, didn’t you?”

“If I say yes, will you not get mad at me?”

I laugh, “I could never get mad at you.”

“I heard all of it, you guys need to work on your inside voices.” She admitted, opening the door more.

“Alright, Missy, in your room now.” I said with a point of my finger.

“You said, you wouldn’t get mad.” She teased.

“I’m not ma- just get in there,” I said, with a laugh. “I’m going to get dinner ready, okay?” I heard her laugh, as I began to scour the cabinets for something to make.

After having made dinner and making sure Abby and I were both fed, I put away the leftovers in a small container and turned the lights off. I tucked Abby in, closing her door before figuring out my own sleeping situation.

I could sleep on the couch, but I could also sleep in Mike’s bed, and wake up before he gets home, and lay on the couch. I eventually went with the latter and soon fell asleep in his bed.

——————🫶🏽——————

I hear keys clinking together as someone opened the door, I know it would be Mike, and I should’ve gotten up but I was much too sleepy and comfortable to get up and proceeded to close my eyes.

I heard the door knob turn and gust of wind blew into the room, now I knew for sure, it was Mike. I sat up and opened one of my eyes.

“Comfortable?” He asked, with a chuckle and set his stuff down.

“And if I am? You going to make me get up?”

“No, no, but I do need to talk to you about what you said yesterday..” He said, and sat down on the bed, as if he was going to read me a bedtime story.

“I.. The only reason why, I haven’t contacted you was because-”

“What are you guys doing?” Abby asked in her sleepy voice as I she stood in the doorway.

“Nothing, Abby. We were just talking.”

“Sure..” She said and smiled at us before running away as soon as she saw Mike walk up to her and closed the door.

“So, what happened?”

“It’ll tell you later.”

“Mike, it’s always later. Later. Later. You can’t keep pushing it off to the side.” He didn’t say anything knowing that I was in the right. I scoffed and brushed past him picking up my things.

“Where are you going? Is it because of what I did?”

“No, Abby that’s not why I’m leaving, I’ll be back though. Don’t you worry.” I smiled at her and gave her a hug. I glanced in Mike’s direction before leaving his house.

I love both Abby and Mike, but I needed time to myself for a while..

[friesian]

my father is dead and i couldn't be happier.

the following is a sort of. reconciliation/vent post since i just got the news a few hours ago that my father died, and i finally feel like i can sort of talk about everything that happened to me as a child. for the first time. without the threat of potential violence. so. tw for neglect, abuse, parental death and honestly just. a lot. if you don't like the most stereotypical 'bad dad' shit, don't read this post.

my father was a cruel man. it was only until recently i was informed that my father used to actually shake me as a baby, no more than a few days old. when i was a few months old, he used to do the same to watch my 'funny reactions' and had to be actively reprimanded by aunt and mother in order to get him to stop lest i die a very sudden death.

when i was a little kid, my father i guess got this idea in his head that i was a little innocent flower and that if anything touched me, that'd be it. i'd be sullied. i'd be dirtied. somehow 'impure'. mind you, my father wasn't a religious man. really, honestly, the opposite. i wasn't allowed to talk about religion or god, explore spirituality, really have 'faith'. this would earn me hostile looks, a loud scolding, or called stupid. this also might displace onto my mom, who received it much worse than me.

when i was 7, my father made the move to go somewhere out into the deep west virginia mountains where i would never be in danger. except by him. we moved to a place where the closest store was 45 minutes by car, getting home from school was 35 minutes-- not counting school bus routes, that was up to 2-3 hours-- and there was not a single neighbor that could see the house nor talk to us. we were alone. for good. for over 11 years of my life i was alone in a house with a man who grew actively more and more hostile to being in that house. as i aged, tried to be a teenager, explore my gender, sexuality, ect. it was all shut down. my computer-- my only lifeline-- was bugged with spyware that allowed him to look at my screen and take control of anything i was doing. a vivid memory of mine is when i used to write fanfiction of innocent teenager things. kissing, holding hands, professions of love, the usual-- nothing explicit. at some point i was caught and had my computer thrown and i was screamed it. i could only run to my room and cry, and hope i wasn't chased. this left me with no sense of privacy, as any computer or technology i ever got passed through him, and as he was a engineer for networking, most things were bugged by him first as much as i tried to remove them. my mom suffered similarly to i, both of us being called slurs and having things thrown at us for existing in his radius. we walked on eggshells. we had no room to breathe. if we weren't in his general space, we were yelled at for avoiding him. if we were actually there, we were yelled at for laughing or even breathing too loud. there was no right answer. my friends never wanted to visit because of him, or he would often get mad at their parents for being 'flakes' or 'untimely', leading for me to be berated about my choice of friend. i wasn't allowed to go out unless it was with 'other girls', and i didn't have many friends to begin with due to the many social problems i faced due to his neglect. i grew up in that house, with many other issues i can't even begin to list, but i grew up and left as soon as i could, and didn't really do much. mostly just coasted by after dropping out of college that he pressured me to be in, lest i end up homeless. my mom divorced him shortly after i left due to being threatened with a gun, and at that point i was pretty sure he was officially off the deep end. this is sort of my 'getting it off my chest' moment as i was never able to speak out about what i faced in any regard due to him consistently monitoring my online presence. for all i know, he could've known about this blog-- choosing to hold onto it for some sort of legal proceeding as he had done to my mother. he tracked her car, recorded her calls, did everything he could to fuck her over. his father did something similar to him back in the 90s, and i needed to avoid it at all costs.

he never got the chance now. i never felt like i had a father, more like an angry dragon that guarded a tower with someone who didn't wanna be there. some sort of 'king' that transformed into a dragon, i suppose. but, i remember relating a lot to the imagery of people trapped in towers by beasts. i wanted to make a comic about it at one point. 11 years of solidarity does a lot to a motherfucker.

to this hour, i haven't shed a tear. i cheered and celebrated, put on my mask as i'm talking to the funeral home people, family, his friends, whatever it is. i've just been blaise and calm. i have to go back to my 'tower' this weekend and see it for the first time in years, now with the memory of my father dead seeped in those walls.

it's been a relief i didn't know i needed, but that house haunts me with the horrors that went on in it. i guess this is sort of my testimony to his life. i refuse to have a funeral. i refuse to have a memorial. he's being cremated and disposed of as soon as i can. i can already tell what little remains of his side of the family has an issue with it, but i don't care. they didn't live the life me and my mom had, and they never will now. for what it's worth, somehow, even though i was forged in fires that i don't think any man should go through-- it made me a more hardened and aware person. you get time to think when you're alone for 11 years. a lot of time to see emotions, patterns, understand, and just pick things apart. he never knew me, elf, he knew my dead name. and i'm thankful for that. i came out a good man all things considered, i have my flaws and issues, but who doesn't. but at least i never was like him. here's to getting out of the tower.

[loving08]

Love or Pain

Nicholas leister x reader

summary: Y/N and Nicholas has been best friends since childhood but Y/N started to have feelings for Nick. will she confess her feelings to him or the entry of Noah in their life will change everything??

Part 8

Next morning came, Nick's eyes fluttered to open up, the little sun rays shining through his balcony, he sat up with a groaned and ruffled his hair. He didn't wanted to wake up to be honest, after the exhausting day he had yesterday he just wanted to lay in his bed and just sleep but he knows he had to go to Y/N, they need to talk and clear all the misunderstanding.

He looked up at the clock in the wall and see its already 10 in the morning, he got up and get freshen up and goes downstairs to have some breakfast despite not having any appetite. He let out a long sigh at the sight of Noah, he just want to go to Y/N's as soon as possible and was slightly hoping to not see Noah at all if possible but guess that will not happen.

He just dragged himself to the table and greeted everyone except Noah, he didn't even acknowledge her and arranged his breakfast. He can sense Noah intense eyes on him but refuse to acknowledge her and hurriedly finished his food and gets up to leave. He was just about to open his car's door when a hand stopped him. he turned around to face Noah who was pouting at him trying to look as innocent as possible.

"I don't have time for your bullshit Noah, leave I have to go to Y/N's" Nick said, all the innocent act lefts Noah as soon as Y/N name was mentioned, she glared and yelled at him "WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND WHATEVER I DID WAS JUST FOR YOU, SO THAT WE CAN BE TOGETHER, WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LOOK AT ME THE WAY YOU LOOK AT HER", Nick scoff and roughly removed her hands from him and said "stop yelling Noah or it will not be my problem if our parents got to know what's actually going on, and I have already told you and I will tell you once again that we can never have anything together, first of all I never even accepted you as my step sister and you are dreaming about us being something more than that" and let out an sarcastic laugh.

"I don't have time for all this nonsense, I just need to go, atleast away from you" and get inside his car and drove off leaving Noah dumbfounded. When Nick reached Y/N's house he saw her car and let out a relief sigh, thinking she's home, not knowing the most heartbreaking news awaiting for him. He pressed the door bell and looked down at his feet, when the door opens he saw Mr. Pitterson, Y/N's family's butler, who gave him a smile and let him inside, he told Nick to take a sit and goes upstairs to inform Y/N's parents.

Her parents came downstairs as soon as they got the news, they already knows that its gonna break him too but it was the only way. Nick got up when he saw them and just by one look, he knew they already knows about everything, still they don't seems hostile towards him. Y/N's mom was the first one to hug him and he let himself be relaxed a little. she stepped back and asked "how have you been Nick, its been a long time since we have seen you". Nick looked at them guiltily and said "I'm sorry Aunt and Uncle...., I'm sorry for all the things I have done to Y/N but I really didn't knew Noah was like that I swear.... I just want to talk to Y/N and clear everything between us...., where she's by the way" and looked around for her.

Y/N's parents both sighed and her mom took one of Nick's hand and hold it tightly and said "whatever I'm going to tell you Nick know that it was what was best for both of you but mainly for Y/N okay" Nick looked confused and started to panic "what is it, is everything okay, is she alright", Y/N's mom shook her head and said "everything's alright dear, it's just.... Y/N's not here anymore". Nick didn't understand and raised his brows and asked "what do you mean she's not here, where is she then I will go there and talk with her". Y/N's mom sighed and looked him in the eyes and said "no dear she's not here...., what I really meant to say is she left, she's not in the country at the moment".

Hearing that Nick felt like his soul left his body, a lump was forming in his mouth, he can't believe it no he doesn't want to believe it, Y/N promised him she would never leave him then why...., why would she do that, he shook his head in disbelief and said "no, no it can't be true, she promised me she will always be there for me, she would never leave me, no she wouldn't do that ". her parents just looked at him with sympathy and pity, they know he didn't wanted to hurt Y/N, he would never do that to her but he did, even if unknowingly but still their daughter was hurt by him.

"she needed to go away for sometime, just to clear her mind and a change of scenery, she will come back at some point Nickolas" Y/N's father said, wanting to lessen his pain. Nick looked at her dad and asked "where have she has gone, I will go there, I need to go where she is please...., please just tell me", at that point he was a crying mess. "I can't tell you where she is Nickolas, she wants time for herself, she needs time to heal the wounds and the pain she's feeling right now, I'm sorry son I can't help you". Nick knows he can't get anything out of them anymore and sadly nodded his head while trying to wipe his tears.

Y/N's mom gently brushes his hair aside and asked him "You love her, don't you" Nick just simply nodded his head, Y/N's parents looked at each other with small smiles and her mom softly hugged him and said "it's okay darling, everything's gonna be alright, I assure you Y/N will come back, to us, to you, but right now you both need time, and when she comes back tell her your feelings, everything clearly, I actually don't wanna admit it but she's a little dumb to understand something regarding love, she's very slow there, something she has gotten from her father" and winked at Nick. They both had a small laugh when Y/N's father let out a offended 'hey' and rolled his eyes at them.

Nick gave them a small smile and said "I will wait for her no matter how long I will have to wait and.....when she comes back I will not let her go, never". they just nodded their heads at him, happy that their daughter's love is not unrequired but they will not tell her now, she needs to heal right now. Nick gave them a little nod and left their house still with a heavy heart. he knows Y/N will come back but still it hurts him that he had gave her so much pain that she had to leave him..... but no it doesn't matter anymore, he will wait for her even if he had to wait for a millennium.

And just like that...., 5 months past

Part 9

[ashleyfanfic]

Thank you for the NSFW recs! When you have the time, I would love to hear your favourite Jonerys slowburn fics 🔥

Oh slow burn. Alright, so full confession, I usually don't have the time for slow burn. It's infuriating sometimes because I'm like FUCKING KISS EACH OTHER and then they don't and it makes my anxiety fucking sky rocket!

BUUUUUT that isn't to say that there aren't fics out there that nail it to me. This is a small list of fics off the top of my head. Granted, most of these are modern AU because I guess, as a whole, this fandom just decided we're just gonna make them fuck right off the bat cause they both deserve it. I mean, there are a few that canon divergent - but show/book Jon/Dany deserved to fuck each other until they collapse. So, with that in mind, here they are in no particular order: (M for modern AU - C for canon divergent) Westeros' Most Eligible Bachelor by @muttpeeta - M After one too many public scandals, Prince Jon Targaryen agrees to be the new star of "Westeros' Most Eligible Bachelor." He just wants to clean up his act and change the public's perception of him as the black sheep of the family, but he might just get more than he bargained for. Enter contestant: Daenerys Targaryen. His aunt.

You Can Never Be Mine by @muttpeeta - C Jon Snow knows it's wrong to covet what his brother has. He's never begrudged Robb Stark his title or his claim as the heir to Winterfell. But when Daenerys is taken in as Lord Stark's ward and betrothed to Robb, Jon's honor is tested in a way he never expected.

Desirable Business by @dracoignisworld and @dragonanddirewolf - M - In 1960's New York, creative director Jon Snow is faced with a challenge. His new secretary Daenerys is everything he is not; kind, friendly and innocent. With her around the office, he finds it hard to distinguish between reality and his fantasies. There can be consequences to desiring someone you should not have.

Written in the Scars on This Heart by @jalenmara and @notpmahlem - M - Daenerys Targaryen, supermodel and face of House Targaryen, a rising star in the world of Fashion, is commonly known as the most beautiful woman in the world. And someone wants her dead. Jon Snow, running from the ghosts of his own past, lands the job any man would kill for— protecting her. But can he protect his own heart from her?

Where the Wild Things Are by @stilesssolo - M - Daenerys Targaryen has fought tooth and nail to get to the high-ranking position she has at Tyrell Outdoor Recreational Equipment, Inc, doing everything within her power to help the planet along the way. Jon Snow has a dog with over two million instagram followers, despite the fact that he can't figure out how to work the app to save his life. When sales drop enough to threaten Tyrell's environment-saving programs, Daenerys is determined to find influencers that can turn the tides for her company. And she has her eye on Jon. Or, well— technically, Ghost.

Her Life, Her Death by magicmoon11 - C - Swayed by the powerful words of a dying queen, Stannis Baratheon takes in baby Daenerys Targaryen as his ward. In the North, Eddard Stark is ordered to raise Jon Snow to wed and dishonor the Targaryen princess, by bringing bastard blood into her line, and ending the Dragons forever. Across the continent, and across the Narrow Sea, the wheel continues to turn, and the Great Game commences. Thus begins a series of events that would change the fate of Westeros forever. Familial relationship between gruff Stannis and his ward. Eventual Jon x Dany.

The Oasis - @fierypen37 - M - With uptight and stressed CEO Daenerys Targaryen's regular masseur on leave, she has to make do with the replacement Jon Snow. Relaxation is not something she can find with his hands on her. Too bad he doesn't feel the same. Except unbeknownst to her, he definitely does. When a threat on her life pushes them together, they must both learn to deal with their growing feelings.

[misguidedasgardian]

The Lifeaters (I.1)

I. Diagon Alley

MASTERLIST

Chapter Summary: Your aunt takes you to buy your list of things for Hogwarts, you were so excited, specially since you were going with your best friend 

Pairings: Draco Malfoy x Fem!Reader (platonic), reader is a reader insert EXCEPT FOR her last name, I need something to call her by, except for that, she is un-described 

Warnings: Cursing, magical objects, Mugglephobia (?), that is what i’m going to call for racism against muggles 😂😂 with Draco we are going to have a lot of that

Wordcount: 3.8 k

Notes: I’m so excited for this, it took a lot of thinking because first they are children and it’s kinda boring, but I love Harry Potter! I’m a late Potterhead bloomer haha, anyways… here they are! 

Your aunt’s sweet voice, alongside the chirping of birds and the sun peeking through your windows woke you up. She was followed by your house elf that brought you breakfast in a tray

“Wake up my sweet girl! Today is the day before the actual day!”, she chanted. She had this saying, that the day before an important day is more exciting than the day itself. Because it was already the day, but the day before… it was filled with excitement… confusing but made sense in a war

She seemed to be even more excited than you if that was even possible, today you were going to go to Diagon Alley to get your things for Hogwarts, it was your first year in the school of witchcraft and wizardry 

You were so so happy

After you had your breakfast and heard your aunt speak about how excited she was for you to go to Hogwarts and reassuring you that it didn’t matter if you were not sorted in Slytherin, but you knew the truth

It did mattered 

For you at least

Draco Malfoy was your best friend, your friends and even you were actually Slytherin legacies, there wasn’t other house for you

You smiled as she helped you pick an outfit to get going. You got dressed in a nice skirt, blouse and sweater, and dragonskin boots. Even though you lived close to the Malfoys, you discussed meeting there.

You lived in the outskirts of a Muggle town called Salisbury, for them it was a secret of course but many other wizard families lived nearby, of course, their mansions hidden behind enchantments and protection spells.

Yours was by no means a mansion, it held one ground floor, but it was made mainly of white marble. With big windows and spacious rooms 

You were barely the second generation living in England, your mother’s family came from France, and your father’s family… they were English, that’s the only thing you actually knew about them

Yes, how could you not know?

But you had asked your Aunt until she got frustrated, and promised she was going to tell you when you were ready, you had to agree or she was never going to allow you to know the truth

But you guessed it was a fairly prominent family, a wizarding family at least, or else, you wouldn’t be surrounded by the people you were

The Malfoys for example 

Sometimes the thought of getting to know them kept you up at night, where were they? Did you have more aunts and uncles? Maybe a grandfather? of grandmother?

You came back to the present when your aunt Cercille gave you the small punch were you kept the floo powder

It was not your favorite travel method but it was the quickest to get where you need to go

The apparition was immediate and just like that, you were in Diagon Alley, your aunt immediately summoned a handkerchief from her sleeve and wiped your face from any cinder or ash.

You had accompanied her to the Alley before, and you walked through the busy street as looked in awe at the owls, the wands and cauldrons, and this time, they will finally going to belong to you 

“I want nothing but the best for my darling niece”, you heard your aunt speak out loud, “for her first year at Hogwarts”, many families were walking up and down the alley with smiles on their faces, many kids your age as well, and some older, you saw a whole family, whose all members were redheads, looking for the same things you were, how fun. 

You entered the store they just left, for your books, as your aunt gave the list to the store clerk, and as he handed her the books, she started passing them on to your poor house elf that had come with you to help with the shopping. The pile of books became too much, surpassing the poor servant, and you had to take the rest, soon they surpassed you too.

And you exited the store without being able to look at anything.

Luckily Meek teleported itself back to your house, to leave the books, came back to you to grab yours and repeated the action.

“Thank you”, the elf didn’t speak much, he just nodded and apparated out and back again

“Can I get the nimbus 2000?”, you asked your aunt as you were back on the street, “please? I’ve been saving galleons…”

“You cannot my dear”, she said, pushing you down the street, “we were reminded that first years cannot bring their own broomsticks, maybe for next year”, and it sounded silly, but you wanted to cry, it meant that no quidditch for you

You bought in other stores the brass scale, a telescope (of course the black one with silver details), the cauldron and a beautiful set of antique crystal phials, now you were only missing your wand, and your familiar, and for the last one, you really wanted an owl, even though your aunt had given you that look, she preferred a cat, they were cleaner, but you promised you would clean after your owl.

So when you looked up at your aunt, and found her distracted speaking to an old friend she encountered, you took the opportunity to grab your small purse, and enter the first owlery that was closest to you. 

The store was a little bit run down, and you immediately got hit by a strong smell of bird waste and hay, and the hoots of the beautiful birds, you look at each and every one of them, they were big, small and medium sized, brown ones, even a beautiful snow white one… but a big set of orange eyes caught your eyes

“Are you here to choose your familiar little girl?”, an old man said behind a wooden desk, making you jump, “An owl?”, you nodded, enthusiastically, looking back at your aunt through the glass, she was still speaking to that friend, “Owls are fascinating creatures, very smart, and this ones are already trained to fetch letters and packages”, he said, he pointed to a Barn owl with huge black eyes

“Yeah, I love them”, you said, admiring the bird, but your gaze returned to a silvery cage, at the back of the store, as you looked closely, you noticed those enchanting orange eyes belonged to a big black owl, it’s feathers were ruffled, and she looked a little scruffy, but she was gorgeous, the store manager followed your gaze and smiled nervously

“She is… strange”, the Owl handler said, and you looked at him, “but you felt a bond didn’t you?”, and you nodded

“I want that one”, you said, and he only nodded, walking towards the back of the store and brought you the magnificent creature 

“She is a Southern white-faced owl, but with a strange condition that is called melanism, turn her feathers black you see”, he explained, and she was so beautiful, “Be careful little witch, she bites”, he said, concern when you opened her cage, and he was amazed when the bird let you touch her feathery head

“I’ll take her”, you said with a wide smile

You got out of the shop holding the cage with difficulty, and when you saw your aunt’s face, you knew you had made the right choice

“What is that?”, she asked, pointing at your familiar

“my owl, I just bought it, do you like it?”, you asked simply

“That is not…”, she wanted to fight you but when she saw your “innocent” smile, she knew it was a lost battle already, “I love her”, he said, with a weird fake smile, she sneaked a finger through the bars to pet her, and she bit her

“She bites”, you warned, clearly late, and she just scowled at you

“Let’s get going”, she said, losing her short patience, and you walked behind her, happily

“Basilik!”, you heard, behind you, you turned to meet Draco, your very best friend

“Hey Draco”, you said, smiling softly, he reached you, walking down the alleyway, and his mother walked right behind him. 

“You got your familiar I see, my father bought me an Eagle Owl, fearsome creature”, he said, contented 

Draco eyed your big black owl, with round orange eyes

“Weird creature”, he admired, you giggled

“Be careful!”, you warned, when you saw him try to pet her, “She…”

“Au!”, Draco whined, looking at his bloodied finger

“... bites”, you said, smiling apologetically. Draco just glared at your owl.

“Miss, let me take that for you”, said Meek, the house elf sworn to your family

“Thank you”, you said with a shy smile, and you saw both elf and owl disappear quickly, how were you going to name her?. You kept walking down the street while your mothers spoke

“Do you think any muggleborn will enter Slytherin? I don’t think so, they better not!!”, Draco whispered in your ear, poking his tongue out in sign of disgust

“You are only acting like a tosser because you fear they might be better than you!”, you mocked, trying to change the subject. Draco was your best friend, but when he spoke like that of people, you felt guilty, your chest tightened, you didn’t liked it 

“Yeah sure”, he said bitterly

“Here children, let’s go to Olivander’s”, said Narcissa, grabbing you both by the back of your necks to lead you to the most famous wand maker in the country

You entered the wand shop slowly, it seemed to be empty, but everyone got their wands here, all of them.

An old man was behind the desk, with wild gray hair but kind eyes

The man didn’t even doubt when it came to Draco, he nodded signaling you both to wait with his bony finger, and he went looking for his wand in the back of the store, when he returned, he had in his hand an spotless black box, when it opened, it revealed a perfect shaped wand with a silver handle

“10 inches, hawthorn wood, unicorn core”, he resumed, offering the wand to Draco, he took it, you saw concentration in his hand and the entirety of the wand shined with a golden light. He nodded with a smirk, he had found his wand and it looked like Olivander had made it for himself especially, but you guessed that it was it felt like to everybody

When you looked at the wand maker, he was looking right at you.

“Let’s try this one”, he directed himself to a shelf behind him, he came back with a whitish box in his boney hands

You grabbed the wand he was offering me, it was strange looking, I gave it a wave and a complete book case fell off the wall. You gasped, dropping the wand like it burned 

“Too unyielding”, he said, not even surprised, “strange”, because I was with Draco, he believed you to be deserving of an unyielding wand? you didn't even know what that meant. He looked at you one more time, giving it some thought, and then he went to the back of the store. 

The wand he offered you looked like an ordinary branch picked up from under a tree, you grabbed it in your hand gently, you pointed at no place in particular, and the single flower that was in a pot nearby, died, like immediately, your owl in your shoulder hoot nervously, flapping its wings hitting you in the face 

“NO!”, he said quickly, taking the wand from your hand 

“Sorry”, you whispered, even if it wasn’t my choice. His cloudy eyes met your face one more time, he seemed to be deeply analyzing you

“Let’s see”, he said, waggling his finger, he grabbed a box from a pile on his desk, and he gave it to you, it was a dark brown wand, it look like two branches had come together, twirling, melted together, the handle had metallic details imbedded in the wood. It was quite breathtaking

You held it and you looked at it, you felt as it had a life on it’s own, and it had taken to you, it shined just like draco’s

“Funny”, the man muttered, looking at you through his piercing blue eyes, “same core as your friend’s, unicorn, it’s twelve and half inches, very pliant, maple wood, unicorn hair core”, he resumed, “the maple wood is considered for adventurous wizards, it will polish and nurture  itself as greater it becomes, just like the witch learns new spells”, he said, and you felt pretty proud, this was your wand, it was pretty cool, and the matching core with Draco it turned it even cooler 

“Thank you Sr”, you said with a wide smile, admiring your wand 

“Remember little witch, the wand chooses the wizard, this wand called me this morning, knowing her owner was close”, he smiled and you, and you thanked him

You looked at each other

“A matching core between friends means that you will never be able to harm one another”, he said wisely, “that is indeed very rare”, Draco smirked at you, and you smiled back at him. 

“You don’t believe that do you?”, mocked Draco just as you closed the door of Ollivander’s behind you

“I don’t know, sounds pretty cool to me”, you giggled. 

“We have an appointment with Madam Malkin, sweety”, called my aunt, “to make your robes for school”, she said excitedly, squeezing your shoulders

And you turned to one less busy street, and soon you were before an impressive seamstress shop, elegant and classy. “Madam Malkin's robes for all occasions”, in golden letters shone over a black pain on top of the door. A small bell rang when you entered, and behind a counter a lady with dark hair, glasses and a handmade suit were waiting for you

“Ah! Narcissa darling! So good to see you! Is that Draco? a handsome little man he has become”, her voice was thunderous and high pitched, it made you want to cover your ears

“Isn’t he? we are here to get his robes for his first years at Hogwarts”, she said proudly, and then, she looked down at you

“And who is this sweetling?”

“(Y/N) Basilik”, presented your aunt

“She is so delicious, come, come!”, 

And as this lady placed you and Draco on a literal pedestal and took your measures. But then the door rang and she went away to receive the guests as your aunts went away to the other section of the store to gaze at party dress robes.

A boy joined you both at fitting, he had pitch black messy hair and hid two big green eyes behind round glasses. Madam Malkin begin to measure him too

You shared funny looks with Draco, he clearly was a first year just like you, and he was obviously going to HOgwarts too

“Hullo”, greeted Draco, you can tell he was excited, “Hogwarts too?”

“Yes”, hes answered sharply, focusing on his image in the mirror

“We already got our wands and our books”, you shipped in, “did you?”

“Not yet”, he answered simply 

“We are going to see riding brooms next…”, said Draco, the boy didn’t seem to be particularly interested in speaking to you, which you thought was a bit sad, the more friends and people you knew in your first year the better right?

“... We don’t know why first years can’t have their own. We are thinking about bullying my father into buying me one, then figuring out how to sneak it into the castle”, you smiled widely and nodded enthusiastically, the boy just looked back at you like you had two heads 

“Have you got your own broom?”, you asked him

“No”, he answered

“Do you play Quidditch?”, asked Draco, still trying to make him engage with you 

“No”, he answered again, and you wanted to make Draco stop trying to talk to him, he was clearly mean an uninterested

“We do, my father says it’s a crime if we aren’t picked to play for our house, and I must say, I agree. You know what House you’ll be in yet?”, he pressed 

“no”, he said, like he was being quizzed by his governess 

“Well nobody really knows until they get there, do they?”, you offered, perhaps he didn’t know what we were speaking about, but… who didn’t know Quidditch? or how Hogwarts worked?, “but we are going to be in Slytherin, you looked at Draco, surprised, “all my family has been - imagine being in Hufflepuff”, he mocked looking at you, you giggled, “I think I’d leave, wouldn’t you?”, he mumbled a response, looking clearly lost 

“Look at that man!”, interrupted Draco, you three turned to the window, to see a huge man standing outside, with icecreams in his hands, he was a giant!

“That’s Hagrid”, answered the boy, finally saying something with more content, “He works at Hogwarts”

Oh Rubeus Hagrid! you had heard him being mentioned in your aunt’s “nice people” list regarding Hogwarts staff 

“I heard of him”, you chided smiling at the nice-looking man

“He is kind of a servant, isn’t he?”, asked Draco

“He is the Gamekeeper”, he snapped back, frowning

“What is a Gamekeeper?”, you asked 

“He is some sort of a savage”, said Drco bluntly, “he lives in a hut in the woods and takes care of the grounds sometimes he gets drunk, tries to do magic and sets fire to his bed”, he mocked

“REALLY?”, you started wondering if all gamekeepers tended to do such things, or was it only him, why did they call them game-keepers anyways? Did they organize games for the students or something?

“I think he is brilliant”, defended the boy, and to Draco it finally sinked in that he was not going to become his friend 

“Do you?”, sneered Draco, he was not becoming his friend and he was acting accordingly, “why is he here with you, where are your parents?”, he asked again

“They are dead”, an awkward silence dominated the three of you as a magic tailor’s tape finished taking your measures 

“I’m sorry”, you and Draco said at the same time, for you it was a familiar feeling, for Draco as well as he sympathized with you 

“But they were our kind were they?”, asked Draco, the final straw if to see if this kid was going to become a friend or… not

“They were a Witch and a Wizard, if that’s what you mean”, he said, clearly annoyed 

“I really don;t think they should let the other sort in, do you? they are not the same, they have never been brought up to know our ways. Some of them have never even heard of Hogwarts until they get the letter, imagine. I think they should keep it in the old wizarding families, what’s your surname anyways”, you watched the boy intently, to see his reaction, he was even more annoyed 

Before he could answer, Madam Malkin came back, and he hopped off the pedestal and almost ran away from the both of you following the Madam 

“See you at Hogwarts”, you offered with a smile, you really hoped you didn’t, he seemed boring and mean. You got distracted when Madame Malkin came back here again and pieces of fabric flied from the shelves and to your body, you giggled when a turmoil of thread, fabrics, and silver needle all guided by that woman dressed you in your school uniform

“Will they go to Slytherin?”, she asked

“Of course”, is the only thing you heard 

 Then Narcissa took you to a Belgium tea shop, where of course Draco and you indulged in Belgium chocolate, drinking it, and eating as much as you could. Uncle Lucius met you there with the rest of Draco’s things 

And then your aunt took you home

And when your parents died, she became your guardian, she took you in when you were barely a baby, your father on his side had no known relatives, and on your mother’s side she was the only one, her and your grandfather that lived in France. And you were being raised in your family home.

She has given you a comfortable life, your family lineage on your mother’s side assure her, you and many generations to come would live comfortably without having to work a day in your life. Your family had gathered their fortune not only through centuries, but they were big in the beauty potions and creams that come from century-old spells and family recipes. Your family had a magical cosmetics company basically, that was handled by your second grade uncles and aunts

Your parents died when you were barely a baby, in the first Wizarding war, but your aunt never liked to discuss it, and you didn’t want to even ask. You felt something was wrong, she’d say she will tell you about it when you are older, alongside the identity of your father

So you never asked again.

Deep down you preferred it, not knowing, but you were curious 

But you didn’t want to dwell on this.

Tomorrow, you started at Hogwarts, something to keep your mind occupied 

School for witchcraft and wizardry

You were excited, so excited you could barely sleep, you already knew a few of your classmates, you had met them in Malfoy’s parties and balls. 

You were longing to meet new people, make friends, but most of all, you were dying to learn spells, use magic, make potions, you were looking forwards to it

Your owl hooted by the window where you placed her cage, and you looked at her huge orange eyes. How were you going to name her?

Shadow? Nah, too boring

Umbra

It meant shadow in Romanian 

You liked that, she looked like a shadow, perched in her silver cage. 

You were so nervous you actually prepared everything for the next day, and put everything in a black leather trunk in order, your aunt wanted Meek to do it the next day, but you were so excited, you even sat on the carpet and peeked rough your books, transfigurations! and magical animals! oh Merlin you were so excited! what you were going to wear tomorrow to get to the Station?

Tomorrow, it was going to be the start of a new life. 

[fantomette22]

Hello there! ^-^

It has been a while since I sent an ask but I miss your beautiful Gehrman drawings and posts

I was wondering if you had any ideas on who Mr. Gehrman’s parents were?

Hope you are well

Smiley anon!!!! :D Always a pleasure to see you're still around! Thank you for the great compliment 🥺 And I hope you are doing well too!

Yeah you are right I need to draw our scythe boy man more !

For real I really want & need to draw him more but I have lot to do as well and either don't managed to find the time or don't know what to do... still I managed to draw him a couple of time this year already so that's cool!

Anyway about his family! I'm glad you ask! I still haven't ALL the details (such as names I'm bad with names) but I do have a timeline of events and a couple of more precise ideas. (not gonna share everything here)

I really wanted to draw him and his family since a while as well but never got the occasion before, so thank you!

And it’s one more picture drawn from the old workshop! (Yeah one day i will draw all my headcanons of the photographies of the old workshop. It’s one of them. I like to think at least one is from his family).

Now, for me his parents are more in OC- Original Characters territory. And I headcanon he got a little sister (around 4+ year younger than him. Born the same year as Laurence. You see what I did here 👀).

They’re a pretty basic XIX/19th century working class-farmer family really. But I mean we're in bloodborne world so with chance, the level of life is a bit better (especially in education) than in real life. So yeah I imagined at the beginning he came from maybe a farmer family living in periphery of Yharnam or Hemwick when he was a child. With his parent, sister, + grandparents, cousins of his parents & his aunt ( a badass lady!) near. Thanks to his family & parents, Gehrman learnt almost everything he needed in life (work, repairing things & craft, surviving skills, hunt, cook, sew etc). I also like the idea that he could have foreign origin from either one of his parents or his grandparents at least. (But compared to Laurence who have half foreign origin too mr hunter actually inherit the tall genes compared to his friend XD)

The only thing missing would be a thirst for knowledge and he only had books & museum (& maybe a bit school too) to help it. Until well Byrgenwerth.

Also Gehrman was quite an unusual kid compared to his peer and that sometimes did worried his parents. Either he got interests far from kid his age or he was straight up out of the norm. (pretty oblivious he liked typical girl toys for exemple but was kind of a loner too. But also mean, one day they found a hurt bird on the ground. And the first thought the kid had was to mercy kills it... instead of just idk letting it here let nature do it's work... well in the end they took the bird in and heal it until it could fly again👍)

But he did fantastic things as well and they are very proud of him for that! He found huge meteorite in a field one day, he saved his dad life (kinda drama too), he killed a sick & dangerous wolf who was attacking cattle and almost lost his leg! No not because of the wolf but because of a trap... yeah he got hurt way too much on his right leg way before losing it...

Then I guess the mom passed away?? And his dad, sister and him moved to Yharnam, when he was a teenager. So yeah not always easy and even if his father probably tried hard at first, the more time pass the more he kinda suck. That lead to lot of yelling and almost fighting between the two men. (thanks god the sister was there🙏 yeah crying if not getting mad at them usually calm them both very efficiently). His father except his kids to basically take care of things at the house and that everything should ready when he's almost never here to help. And when he is, he's generally not in a good mood. So yeah I thunk he missed his mom (and aunt too) quite a lot...she was very nice and very kind and he misses her presence for sure.

Wen he got his majority or close to it, the big epidemic strike and his sister sadly passed away from it... it brokes him, nothing hold him back anymore so he leaved from his dad's and went to find some work. Still, a bit later they did reconcile! You know typical father/son activity! Like hm hunting...

Then I guess his dad passed away?? Yeah it's not very clear for me either maybe he could still be around, but I know that he ended all alone at some point and Gehrman got sick. He went to get heal at Byrgenwerth but they had to cut his leg to save him. Then he leave the region for a couple of years before coming back to study at Byrgenwerth!

I don't have precise names as well. I'm bad to choose them and it's not like I absolutely need them either. Still, on my list of names for OC I might had a few that could work. Hm ok I actually might have a more precise idea for his father. I think it would be very very funny if his father's name is like Herman or a name very similar to his own just for the following exchange :

"Oh that's your dad's name ? I see... he must have been very inspired to name you when you were born then 🤣"

Gehrman : Actually my parents named me after the legend of this guy but ok I guess 😑

OH I ALMOST FORGOT TOO!!!

but a few months ago i came across this beautiful painting! And immediately it made me thought of Gehrman or his parents back then! Either Gehrman in a very specific AU of mine hehe but i think it could also just illustrate his parents 🥺

---------

In the end you are right too. I should share more ideas / thoughts and headcanons on him as well when I find the time. The ones I could probably never wrote in a proper story so better draw + write some posts about it (such as : conflict with Laurence + with everyone + his grief after Maria passed away ; I swear I'm gonna draw him with his dog I SWEAR it's on my wip list ; I finally got an idea for an halloween costume for him 3 months after halloween 💀 ; hm 🤔 idk some lil shenanigans with the others too; how he got his red scarf 🧣 ; ah and more time while as a student supporting Laurence bullshit or encouraging him).

Thank you again smiley anon, I know I can always count on you! I hope it answer your question, there's a lot of mixt ideas. I'm curious about your ideas as well on our dear mister Gehrman! If, idk one day you wanna share or talk about it more (even on private). It will be my pleasure!

[needlesandnilbogs]

I guess art is going on tumblr instead of on blogspot today lolll cause I’m lazy. half the high school au crowd goes to see a movie. that is all. (If I successfully did this then there will be a read more bc I put the fic here and it got long)

Image ID: two digital drawings. One is of high school versions of murderbot characters dressed in costumes and standing in front of a movie poster: from left to right, Rin (high school au murderbot), Bharadwaj, Overse, Gurathin, Pin-Lee, and Indah. Rin has dark curly hair and dark brown skin. It is not dressed in a costume, just a blue hoodie and gray pants, and is standing behind and apart from the group. Bharadwaj has dark brown skin and her hair is under a light purple hijab which extends into a cape behind her; she also wears a long dark blue dress belted at the waist and a silver circlet. Overse has light skin, shoulder-length dirty blonde hair, and glasses; she wears a light blue dress with pink trim and sleeves, pink shoes laced up her calves, a Magen David necklace, and a small pink crown. Gurathin has the lightest skin, brown hair cut unflatteringly, and big round wire glasses; he is wearing a red shirt and leggings with gold armor over it, and he has a silver flute hung over his shoulder. Pin-Lee has lightish skin, black hair in a bun, and wears a green bodysuit half covered in green and pink feathers. Indah is the tallest except for Rin and has medium skin and light brown hair; she is wearing a turquoise shirt, purple leggings, a skirt in a different shade of purple with gold trim, and yellow shoes.

the other image is the poster that is behind them. It is for a made up movie called “Sunshine Warriors: Day of the Second Sun” and features an orange and yellow stylized sun on a blue background. On the sun there are images of a pink crown, a red eighth note, a green bird, and a purple butterfly. Under the movie title, at the bottom, it says “Ten Years Later…”. End ID.

anyways this is for chatfic I am deciding whether to post to ao3 or not, I wrote the fic last year and it’s part of the hsau’s summer between Mensah and mb’s senior year of high school and going to college. The relevant bit of the fic itself is as follows:

———

DM: Lee (Pin-Lee), bhara (Bharadwaj)

[10:01] bhara: Hey, wanna go to the river w me this afternoon?? I need out of the house and my aunt won't let me take the car

[10:03] Lee: I'm down, want me to pick you up?

[10:03] bhara: That'd be great \o/ I have no agenda lol I just really need a break

[10:04] Lee: Also, want to come to the movies tonight with Indah and me, too? We're making plans to see the Sunshine Warriors film in full costume tonight, possibly with Gurathin and Overse and Rin too.

[10:04] bhara: OMG I FORGOT THE MOVIE COMES OUT TONIGHT AAAAAA AND ITS LIVE ACTION LIKE THE PART IN THE DOCUMENTARY WHERE THE ACTORS DID THE SCENES

[10:05] Lee: I was actually about to ask if you wanted to come when you texted me!

[10:07] bhara: I CAN GO \o/ \o/ \o/

[10:07] Lee: Great. Pick you up in ten for river time, at 4 for the movie?

[10:07] bhara: o7 but also changed my mind, let's go see how much of a costume we can put together in the time between now and 4?

[10:08] Lee: I'll make a group chat so we can coordinate costumes!

New Chat: Pin-Lee (Pin-Lee), Bharadwaj (Bharadwaj), gurathin (gurathin), indah (indah), Overse (Overse), Rin (Rin)

[10:10] Pin-Lee (Pin-Lee) started chat

[10:10] Pin-Lee (Pin-Lee) changed chat name to Sunshine Warriors Assemble

[10:11] Pin-Lee: So. We are doing this, okay? I call dibs on being Feather, he was always my favorite.

[10:11] indah: I'd forgotten how much I loved this show

[10:12] indah: I want to be Color, if possible, I have the most clothing I could use for her.

[10:15] Overse: Arada isn't interested in going but she says she'll lend me her floofy skirt so I wanted to be color

[10:15] indah: I'll duel you for it. Swords at 2 am on the 29th?

[10:16] Overse: wow rude

[10:16] Overse: whatever happened to reasonable sleep schedules? [10:17] gurathin: Not to interrupt but I want to stake a claim on flute, the least terrible warrior

[10:18] Overse: omg Gurathin just be sun lord, you're already that pompous <3

[10:18] Bharadwaj: So we have Flute, Feather, and two people who want to be Color, who wants Princess and what do the rest of you want to do?

[10:20] Overse: well, I can be princess instead, i do have good high heels for it, but what do you wanna do?

[10:20] Rin: I'm not coming in costume.

[10:20] Bharadwaj: I was thinking Queen Midnight but only if everyone else is down for going with the villain?

[10:21] Pin-Lee: I am *always* down for going with villains. I'll be over in 5 minutes and we can hit your closet and the thrift store, okay?

[10:22] indah: The plan is meet at Pin-Lee's house at 4, carpool to the movie theater, see the 4:45 showing, get dinner, see the 9:50 showing, go home, unless anyone can't stay out till midnight.

[10:30] Bharadwaj: I just checked and my aunt says that's fine

[10:30] Bharadwaj: She also says if we want to come over after and watch the documentary that came out a couple years ago about the making of the show we are welcome to do so and then sleep over!

[10:31] Bharadwaj: It's SUCH a good documentary, it's a beautiful letter of love to the way the show was made and the choices the writers had to make to make it socially acceptable

[10:31] Bharadwaj: I know I just like documentaries in general but I really love this one and not just because it's about fiction I enjoy

[10:35] Overse: omg perf

[10:35] Overse: I have to be princess then bc I loved her voice actor in the show

[infriga]

What's interesting about House of Usher is that Flannigan usually has likeable protagonists, at least in my experience. Granted I haven't seen all of his works, but I've seen several (Bly Manor, Hill House, Midnight Mass, and I've heard summaries of others) and most of them are generally pretty sympathetic from my understanding, even the ones with more blood on their hands, so to speak.

In House of Usher however, almost none of the main characters are good or likeable people to much, if any, degree. Their spouses/partners are decent people, for the most part (dunno how the siblings landed such nice SOs despite being so nasty), and the granddaughter seems alright (I'm only on episode 5 btw so idk if anything happens regarding her or the other non-siblings, no spoilers pls), and Auguste seems like a decent person (maybe not the best family man, but he at has his heart in the right place especially compared to the Ushers), but all the siblings, and Roderick and Madeline themselves, are pretty horrible people.

But like, they're not one dimensional bad people, they're complex, they feel emotions, they care about people in their lives even if they don't tend to treat those people well, they have fears and insecurities and passions and hangups just like regular people do. So while usually I dislike when the protagonists of a show like this are unlikable, in this show it's actually quite fascinating because like I can't say I hate them either, they feel like they could be good people if they really wanted to be. Especially if they had better influences and were taught better lessons by their father and aunt. They feel human, not evil, but I'm also not rooting for them either. I don't know who to root for tbh, except maybe people like Julius, Tammy's husband, and the granddaughter, who are all side characters lol. Idk who the weird supernatural lady is (death? The devil? God? A witch? No idea) so I don't know her motivations or what kinda person she is, she seems to be collecting on some sort of debt but that's the best I've got on her. I do think it's interesting how she tried to spare Morrie from the acid by telling her to go like she did with the wait staff, but she didn't do anything to help Ali later when she was killed, so was it strategic or does this lady have some sort of code of morals? Does she care about whether people are innocent or not? Why spare the wait staff from death by acid shower but not the other party goers? Is sparing Morrie more about the potential role she'll play in Freddy's death? I guess I'll find out.

But I do think it's interesting that we start off the show knowing who's going to die already, since usually stakes in this genre come from wanting characters to survive (hence why I usually prefer likable protags in horror/suspense media), but it makes sense that since none of these people are very likable, the suspense needs to mostly come from something else on that front, such as wondering how they're going to die or which innocent people they might take with them in the process, as well as wanting to know what caused all this.

Roderick, ironically, is probably the most sympathetic member of the family aside from his granddaughter, which doesn't mean much but I mean, I wouldn't begrudge anyone going through what he witnessed in episode 5. Like gaddamn that's fucked up. He seems like someone who deep down has the potential and even the buried desire or instinct to be a good person, but was too much of a coward to put in the work it would take to be good and stay good in a harsh world when he wants so badly to be someone big and successful and important just like, well, his father. But ultimately he does obviously love his children so I do sympathize with him in that regard.

But the show is making the unlikable protagonists thing work for it, somehow. I don't like most of these people, but I am fascinated by them and what's going down and how they got here. It's like watching a car crash in slow motion.

[professional-benaddict]

my part 16🖤

part 15 in the reblog by @winterspiderpurrs 🥰🥰

“Really, how many years?”

“Almost 8? I had to quite because school became too demanding. Plus, they added more classes as we got older, so I couldn’t do well in school and dance at the same time. So, I had to quit dancing. My aunt pressured me into it.”

“Well, you wouldn’t have become a nurse otherwise.”

“Exactly.” Peter smiles softly.

The nurse has been telling Stephen about his dancing as a child and teenager, but he made sure to keep his voice down as not to disturb Tony. The man had fallen asleep in his bed, with his arm over his waist. Peter found it quite endearing.

“Well, I should get to bed too. If you want, Steve and I can drag him to his own bed.” Stephen says.

“No, no, I don’t mind. He can stay here. Would be a shame to rile him up again.” Peter chuckles lightly.

Stephen nods with a smile, wishing Peter a good night before heading out of the room. Peter falls asleep sometime later, after one he guesses to be Rogue has joined them in the bed.

Morning comes around with bright sunshine and Peter wakes up before his usual alarm on his phone. Looking at his right, Peter only finds Rogue and Diablo in bed with him, and no Tony.

The nurse gets ready for the day, taking a quick shower and finding fresh clothes to wear. In the mirror, he pauses and looks at his neck. There’s visible marks from the fingertips around his throat, and it feels sore and tender, but nothing that will stop him from going about his day. At the last minute, Peter finds one of his turtleneck sweaters and puts it on. When he leaves the bedroom, the two Dobermans follow him protectively.

The only person Peter can find in the house is Stephen in the kitchen. He’s preparing a tall travel mug of coffee. They exchange morning greetings and Stephen wants to look at Peter’s throat, but the nurse waves him off.

“It’s fine. Where’s Tony?”

“He went for a swim with Bucky and Steve. I told them to keep him from actually swimming. He can sit in the pool for starters. I think he feels shitty from last night, and not just emotionally.”

The nurse pauses. He knows Stephen is referring to something else. An elephant in the room.

“Does- does Tony use any narcotics?” Peter glances up at the doctor before looking away again. “I should know, for medical reasons. Since I’m caring for him.”

“You don’t need to. I already know and took it into consideration when I made a pain medication plan for him. You’re just giving the doses.”

Peter feels like he’s been put in place and he nods without looking at Stephen. But, then the doctor adds.

“But, yes. He does. It’s managed though. Except for last night. He promised me he wouldn’t take anything during his recovery, but it seemed like he did last night. My guess is that whatever he took made him aggressive because of how it reacted to the pain meds he’s on.”

The nurse is not agreeing completely, but he nods his head nonetheless. Stephen is his boss after all.

“But, it was still not your fault what happened last night. You did everything you were supposed to.” Stephen assures. “Who knows, I’d probably do the same if I mixed up some pills.”

“But- but, you’d never, right? You’re a doctor, you know what narcotics do. It’s never any good.” Peter says.

“Oh, Peter… How do you think surgeons like us get through 8, 10, 12 hour surgeries? Day in and day out?” The doctor chuckles. He grabs his travel mug and pats Peter on his shoulder. “Why don’t you join the others in the pool, yeah?”

And with that, Stephen heads out of the kitchen to go to work, leaving Peter’s worldview very much shattered into pieces.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for being "negative" about a bunny and refusing to apologize? I don't think I can really shorten this, so I'm sorry for the lack of a TL;DR :/ It's pretty long!! TW for animal death(and potentially animal abuse?)

My mom(42 F) has a habit of randomly bringing pets home. For context, she's a single mother with four kids, with me(17) being the oldest, alongside my sister("E",13) and my two brothers(7 and 4, not relevant to the story). My sister and I share a room and my brothers share one too. My mom works a job that involves sleeping at work and doesn't think it's worth it for us to rent a three bedroom, so she sleeps on the couch on her nights off.

The first time was mid-2020 when she brought home a feral kitten my grandpa found underneath his house. What was supposed to be a family pet quickly turned into a pet that was kept only to E's and my room. He had some sort of sinus issue where he snotted everywhere all the time, so snot was constantly needing to be cleaned and being found randomly on our things. The cat was eventually rehomed after a year because it scratched my sister really badly to the point that my mom was concerned she would need stitches(she didn't. the cat didn't like being pet / touched and my sister wouldn't respect its boundries).

The second time was another cat(2021) that followed my mom from her cat to her place of work. This was when I started getting frustrated with my mom randomly bringing home animals, since the same set up that happened last time happened again- except this time, the cat got old enough to spray, and my mom kept forgetting to get him fixed so our room just smelled fucking awful. This cat was also rehomed when I broke down after realizing it has sprayed all over my books. I told my mom he either needed to be fixed or she needed to get rid of him. He was gone the next week.

Then last year it happened again- except this time, with a puppy(2022). My aunt was looking to get a new dog and sent some puppy photos to my mom, which she cooed over and showed me. She told me she was considering bringing one home, which I instantly told her was a bad idea and went over all the cons. Mom seemed to agree. Then guess what happened to be an early Christmas gift.... -_-

My sister and I took charge on the dog. We got our brothers to agree on a name for him(anyone with younger siblings knows this is a BIG deal lmao), started attempting to crate train him(basically making sure he's okay with eventually being left alone without crying the whole time), and we were the only ones trying to potty train him. Our mom didn't stick to any of this(including choosing a new name??) and the dog still isn't potty trained, and I'm the only one other than my mom that doesn't refuse to clean up after him. The dog doesn't stay in our room like the other animals, but it took months for my sister and I to convince our mom to get a hook lock for our door so the dog wouldn't keep coming in and peeing. The dog didn't end up getting rehomed, but now regularly stays at our aunt's house way more than ours.

It's worth noting at this point that all of these pets were "family pets" according to mom, and she would get upset when me and E pointed out we were really the only one taking care of them. The dog evened out after a while and now it's mostly my mom and I doing the work when he's here, but the cats are still a point of tension for us.

And now. For the fucking bunny!! Jesus christ I'm sorry there's so much backstory to this!!

A week ago my sister comes into our room and wakes me up to tell me mom brought home a baby bunny. It was scary small(3.5 inches long not stretching, 2 weeks old), and wasn't moving much but was clearly alive. My mom said it ran into my Nana's yard after the dog next door scared it off, and it's pretty safe to assume the nest is destroyed. But instead of bringing the rabbit to a wildlife rehab or something, my mom brought it home and told my sister she could keep it. They then put it in a box with some grass and water and did no further research.

I was pretty livid, because 1. This is a WILD rabbit. That's a crime in my state, 2. I think it was insanely irresponsible for my mom to drop this on us, 3. This is not a pet and it's very likely it'll die in our care just from us not being experienced, and 4. On a very basic and selfish level, I didn't want to take care of this animal and I didn't want it in our room(which it had to be). But E has been asking for a bunny for years, so for once she wasn't on my side about a new pet being dropped on us. So I was pretty outnumbered.

I kept pushing for my mom to contact a professional at the very least to ask about its diet(it's very easy to kill baby bunnies by feeding them the wrong thing), and kept trying to get my sister to stop holding / petting it since rabbits can die of stress. My mom listened after a day and my sister never did. Tbh I also thought if my mom contacted a professional the pro would tell her to absolutely not keep the bunny? But it was never brought up in their convo, so I think my mom might have lied about it or something, idk.

I continued being "negetive" about the rabbit and my sister kicked me out of our room for it. I refused to care for it too, even though my mom kept insisting it was a "family" pet(without me it was just her and E taking care of it, and since it stayed in our room my brothers never really got to see it). To be honest I really didn't feel like I had a lot of options, and I thought if I didn't help then maybe they would get overwhelmed or something and decide to give it to a professional. But I still kept trying to give pet care advice, because I didn't want any harm to come to the bunny(for example, my sister likes our room to never have to ac on, but i made sure she was keeping it cool enough for the bunny).

Well... After four days, the bunny died. E was pretty heartbroken, obviously, and my mom was sad, but to be honest I'm just sort of bitter. I'm upset a rabbit died just because my mom wouldn't listen. For more context, I also thought bringing in the bunny was a bad idea because my sister recently lost her dad, and I knew if it didn't end well this would just add more grief to her life. I 100% don't think she's TA in this situation, even if she has frustrated me.

I'm still pretty pissed at my mom for all of this, so yesterday when she sat me down and told me I should apologize to E for how I behaved, I didn't take it well. She said my negetivity made it so E didn't fully enjoy her time with the bunny, and that if I had handled things differently maybe things would have tunred out better. I know E has been avoiding me, which started when we first got the bunny and she kicked me out of the room for being too negetive. I feel like she just needs time to process, and to be honest I don't think this is something I should apologize for, even if it is an apology just to make her feel better. It feels like that would be irresponsible of me? Idk. I told my mom none of this would have happened if SHE hadn't been so irresponsible and brought the bunny home to a grieving teenager, when there wasn't much of a chance of the bunny surviving with us in the first place, but tbh ever since her dad died I've been really trying to do right by E, so I second-guess myself a lot now.

So AITA for being negetive about the bunny and refusing to apologize? To be clear again I don't think E is TA here, but they're both upset with me so idk.

What are these acronyms?

[whumpsmith-participates]

Medwhump May 2024

Day 17 - Forced to stay awake / Scars

TW: guns mention i guess

@medwhumpmay

Living with and working for your kidnapper can get pretty lonely, pretty isolated... But sometimes Erick got a little break from that isolation, getting to hang out with other teens his age. Like the one time they spent a summer in Jaime's hometown in Kansas and he got to meet all her friends.

It was a sleepy town, small enough for everyone to know each other, and not quite big enough to have its own high school. The townspeople mostly consisted of someone's aunt, uncle or grandparents, with a few exceptions. During school semesters, kids of all ages were crammed into a schoolbus or two or three and shipped off to the next town over to attend school. Their parents and neighbours worked hard to keep their little economy running, leaving the shops on main street relatively succesful, but not offering a lot of leisure either.

To Fetch, it was the perfect place to hide out at when he had to lay low, while also giving him the chance to be a little bit closer to his daughter. They'd done it once before. It was a coincidence at the time. Jaime needed to be brought home, and Fetch could pick up a job in the next town over. For the sake of keeping up appearances, he allowed Erick to get closer to Jaime and her friends, putting a temporary end to his isolation.

It only lasted for the summer, though. After that it was back to either San Diego, or touring the country from one job to another, and back into isolation for Erick...until next summer when Fetch conveniently pissed someone off again and they had to lay low someplace.

"Are we staying at the same place as last time?" Erick asked, excitedly peering at the sign indicating it was only fifteen more miles until they reached the town.

"No, it was sold apparently," Fetch said, "damn house flippers...no we're staying at an old friend's house."

"You have friends in that town?" Erick asked, raising a brow.

"Not really," Fetch admitted, "but he was the only one who didn't side with my ex in the divorce and he has spare rooms, so."

"So...an acquaintance?"

"Don't get smart with me," Fetch grumbled, "walk me through the ground rules."

"Keep location tracking on when I go out, stick to the curfew, don't tell Jaime and her friends about your work, avoid suspicion at all costs," Erick droned.

"Good," Fetch said, "and don't go thinking I won't kick your ass for breaking any of them because we're staying with someone. I can always take you out into the woods if I have to, so don't make me go through that effort."

"Yes, sir," Erick said.

When they arrived at the address where they would stay, Erick could tell right away why Fetch got along with their host. He was a farmer, living alone in a pretty generous farm house. He didn't talk much, which involved not asking too many questions either. He looked worn-down enough from working his land, and probably slept like a log throughout the night.

After they unpacked a bit, they got some dinner at the diner in town, during which Erick got to text Jaime to let her know they'd arrived.

"She said she'll be right over," Erick said, after reading through a string of enthusiastic replies.

"Tell her if she hurries she can catch dessert," Fetch said, already looking at the menu again.

And sure enough, about ten minutes later, Jaime came bursting into the diner, ignoring the waitress as she rushed past her to hug her dad, and Erick next before plopping down next to him.

"I'm so glad you're here! Are you staying all summer? No wait, don't say anything, I don't wanna think about you guys leaving yet!" she rambled, "Erick you wanna hang out later? Everyone will be so excited to see you!"

"Um..."

Erick glanced at Fetch, but he just shrugged.

"Be home by ten," he said.

"We'll let you know if we run late!" Jaime said, grabbing Erick's arm and getting up, "let's go!"

"You don't want dessert?" Erick asked.

"There'll probably be snacks anyway, and it'll save daddy some money on the bill~" Jaime said, "let's go, let's go, let's go!"

Erick shot Fetch an apologetic look as he got up and followed Jaime out of the diner. It was just like last summer. He just kind of went wherever Jaime dragged him to, and it usually turned out to be fun.

Today it was the town's tattoo parlour. Erick remembered all the afternoons they spent in the alley behind the shop, enjoying the shade, trying to lure roaming cats to pet them, and chasing off some guys who had planned to set the dumpster on fire.

But they weren't hanging in the alley by the parlour, they were hanging inside. The sign on the door said 'closed,' but Jaime ignored it and pushed the door open anyway.

"Look who finally found his way back?" Jaime announced.

"Oh god," Erick sighed, before following after.

Sure enough, the whole group was there. Even though it had been a year, Erick recognised them all right away; Finn, Jaime's best friend with the habit to dye his hair in crazy colours; Cal, Finn's boyfriend of ambiguous ethnicity and an equally ambiguous (and delicious!) repertoire of recipes; Caitlyn, possibly the tamest member of the group and a nice contrast after all the others; and last but not least, Rowan, whose uncle owned the parlour and the apartment above it.

"AAAH IT'S ERICK!" Caitlyn shrieked, getting up from the couch by the wall to hug him.

"Bitch my ears!" Finn whined, before getting up as well, "good to see you, man."

"Erick come check this out!" Cal called him over.

Erick fist-bumped Finn, dislodged from Caitlyn's hug and followed the sound of a soft hum. In a corner in the back of the shop, Rowan was bent over one of the chairs, holding a tattoo gun, though before he got a chance to see what Cal wanted to show him, he was hit by a terrible smell.

"Urk! S-sorry, what is that smell?" Erick asked, covering his mouth and nose with both hands.

"Oh yeah, that's the pig skin," Rowan said, holding up his work.

He held up a literal slab of skin with a half-finished, realistic-looking galaxy tattoo.

"Oh wow, that looks great," Erick said, "but I'm gonna keep my distance."

"You get used to the smell in a minute," Rowan said, putting the skin back on the chair and continuing.

"Is that why we're hanging in here?" Erick asked, "I thought Mr Green didn't want us thrashing the place."

"Guess he finally trusts us," Rowan said with a shrug, "we'll go chill upstairs once I'm done with this piece, so we can eat some snacks too."

He moved to dip his needle in some fresh ink, when he managed to knock it over instead.

"Crap."

"I'll get you some paper towels," Cal said with a laugh, before walking off.

Erick dared to come a little closer, the smell slowly getting less bad. The pig skin had more tattoos on it. It seemed like Rowan had been practicing vibrant, starry skies, each one looking much better than the last.

"I should call it a night," Rowan sighed, putting the tattoo gun down.

"It's looking really great, though," Erick said.

"Thanks!" Rowan said, lighting up a bit, "when do I get to ink you~?"

"I'm good," Erick quickly said.

"Oh come ooon," Rowan said, "you're such a beautiful blank canvas! Prime real estate! Jaime, tell him!"

"Imagine how epic a Star Wars tattoo could look with his new technique," Jaime said.

Erick was almost convinced, almost. But he didn't even want to begin to imagine how Fetch could possibly react to a random tattoo. He seemed more than okay with Jaime's piercings, though Jaime could get away with murder in his eyes, while with Erick...it depended on his current mood.

"Maybe when I can actually afford to pay fairly," Erick said, "besides, I'm not that blank of a canvas."

"Honey you totally have a vitamin D deficiency," Caitlyn said.

"...maybe, but that's not what I meant," Erick said, "I got, like, some scars and stuff."

"Scar cover-ups are something I wanna learn too," Rowan said, "can I see?"

"Um..."

"You gotta show us now," Jaime said, "do you have a cool story behind it too?"

"I wouldn't really call it cool, perse," Erick said, hesitating a bit, "it really hurt at the time...sometimes it still does, like before a rain storm."

"Classic scar stuff," Rowan said, "trust me, I know."

He rubbed his leg a bit, which he once managed to impale on some scrap metal in the junkyard. Erick winced a bit as he remembered the story. Frankly, Rowan could be so clumsy, he was surprised he didn't have more scars like that.

"I still wanna see it," Rowan said, "for research, inspiration maybe."

"Alright, alright, just don't ask," Erick said, before rolling up the right sleeve of his shirt.

He was turned towards Rowan so he could...be inspired or something, though Jaime shoved Caitlyn aside to also take a look. Just hidden underneath the sleeve of his Tee, Erick had a round scar with three spikes coming from it, nothing more but an odd shape, unless you knew what you were looking at.

"Jeez, Erick, what'd you do?" Jaime asked.

"Well..."

"It looks like a bullet wound," Rowan said, leaning in a little closer.

"Yeah, as if," Jaime said.

"Well...."

"ERICK!?"

Jaime punched his other arm.

"Tell me you're lying!"

"I haven't said anything yet," Erick pointed out, which only earned him another punch. Meanwhile on his other side, Rowan gently traced his fingers over the scar, feeling the outline without putting too much pressure.

"No, that's definitely a bullet wound," he concluded, not helping.

"Tell me what happened!" Jaime said, grabbing Erick and shaking him a bit.

"I said don't ask!" Erick argued.

"Technically she wasn't asking," Finn pointed out.

Erick threw him a look, while Jaime shook him again.

"Tell me!" she said.

"Calm down!" Erick said, "it's nothing serious, it was just an accident."

"How do you accidentally get shot?" Cal asked.

"We live in America," Rowan said, "but still, how? I didn't even manage to accidentally get shot yet."

"Yet?" Erick repeated, "wait, sorry. It's really stupid, I promise."

"If it's embarrassing you have to tell us," Finn said with a smirk.

"Okay, okay, stop crowding me," Erick said, swatting Rowan's hands away as he was still observing his scar, "it was a warning shot that ended up bouncing against a steel support beam and hit me instead."

"A warning shot for who?! What idiot waves a gun around like that in the first place?!" Jaime said.

Erick but his lip, he could probably still save this with a half-truth, he just had to be careful not to mention too many details.

"Your dad..."

"HAH! Your dad's an idiot!" Finn immediately said, while Jaime facepalmed.

"Of course he is," she said, "he always brings his Glock when he's travelling because you never know what can happen in the middle of nowhere— Wait! Did something happen?! Are you guys okay?!"

"No, we died in a highway robbery," Erick deadpanned, which earned him another punch while the others laughed.

"I'm serious! If something were to happen to either of you..."

"We're fine, your dad knows what he's doing," Erick quickly assured her, "besides, nothing scares off wannabe robbers like a man crazy enough to shoot his own companion, even if it was an accident. We got away with just one very painful scratch."

"Jesus fucking christ, Erick," Jaime sighed, beginning to calm down a bit, "next time dad shoots you, at least text me, okay?"

"I didn't wanna worry you," Erick said, "besides, your dad was pretty embarrassed about the whole thing..."

"I have the right to be worried, you dumbass!" Jaime said.

Meanwhile Rowan returned with a coloured marker, beginning to draw on Erick's arm before he could stop him.

"I could ink a nebula in the background, and then use the elevation of the scar to enhance the 3D effect of an asteroid, or what about the Death Star blowing up?" he murmured.

"Stop tempting me," Erick said, though he didn't pull his arm away, "this washes off, right?"

"Yeah, I'll get you some rubbing alcohol after I take a picture," Rowan said, "thanks for letting me do this. Pig skin doesn't ever come with scars to practice on."

"So long as you stick to marker," Erick said.

Meet the squad! Aaaaa I love the squad! I wish I had intro pages for all of them, but this is actually the first time I wrote with them! Up until now they'd just been rotating in my head, like a good stew hmmmm

More fluff than whump, but TBH I (and thems) needed a break.

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Taglist for the dynamic duo (however brief their interaction was in this one): @lavndvrr