#except the possible deaths it may trigger rip

[fryday]

criminal that phil didn't use his deep american narrator voice for all 30 minutes of elevated dread

[mlmxreader]

Little Bit Lost Without You | Crowley x gn!reader

『••✎••』

↳ ❝ Crowley

Character Lives/Doesn't Die (eg Arthur Morgan)

"Now give them back, boys" ❞

: ̗̀➛ Crowley's return may just be the best thing that's ever happened to you, if you're being honest.

trigger warnings: ̗̀➛ temporary death, grief, reunions, swearing

•───────────────★•♛•★──────────────•

Crowley was more than disappointed when, just two weeks after he had sacrificed himself, he was brought back; but it wasn't the fact that he was back that had disappointed him - it was the fact that you were nowhere to be seen at all.

His heart felt like it had dropped, his mouth and throat becoming sticky and thick and clogged, and his hands began to shake the more he realised that you weren't just absent from the room but the entire fucking building.

Nowhere at all, and he had no idea of how to reach you; his phone had been destroyed, and he had no cash to grab a telephone box for a moment - there was no way he could fucking reach you at all.

Yet that was all he wanted, to know that you were alright. Whatever humanity was left, deep down and locked and hidden away, almost completely buried, was starting to take over him.

Crowley cared about you, more than he ever cared about anyone else before; you were supposed to become his spouse, he had promised that he would pick out whatever rings you wanted and he would ask you on the same day when you did.

You weren't like him - jeans and a t-shirt and a quick signing of a religious contract would have been enough. No big and fancy ceremony except for the culture. Nothing else.

And now he had failed you so fucking miserably.

For days, Crowley had no idea how to find you - even spells wouldn't work thanks to your line of employment. Hunters tended not to be easily traced by anything supernatural, and even the now-ex King of Hell was completely at a loss over it.

There was nothing that could be done, and for days, he toiled and planned and failed again and again and again. Surely, you had to know that he was alive, or at least held some hope that he would be. Anything, really. Just anything.

But you weren't far at all, as Sam and Dean had only just managed to get you to the nearest hotel; you wouldn't go any further, and spent days and days trying to find any possible way of contacting Crowley or even tracing him to know that he was alive.

But he was the King of Hell, and he wasn't easily traced, and even though you employed every bit of knowledge that you had at your disposal, you were completely at a loss over it. You had no idea what to do... except maybe to go back.

Of course, you only snuck out when Sam and Dean weren't around; with them on a case, you managed to find where the rip was, and it was only a short walk before you found the small building nearby, exactly where Crowley had sacrificed himself in... in that other, horrid, place.

Sweat on your brow and under your arms, you were struggling to breathe as you called out his name; your throat stinging in protest and hot, wet coughs bubbling in your mouth as you began to sob. Searching tirelessly, until you ran into something that felt rather like another person.

But the hands were cool and cold, and didn't shake the way that yours did; slowly, arms wrapped around you, a soft and shaky breath drawn from relieved lungs as you were brought close to the body.

"Thank fuck."

You smiled at the sound of his familiar voice, wrapping your arms around him tightly and pressing your face to the side of his neck; able to feel a slight scratch from his beard as you sobbed against him for a moment, hardly able to believe it for yourself until you were gently pushed away.

Cold thumbs wiping away your tears before your head was angled down, a soft kiss planted just above your brow; slowly, you were brought to look into those big brown eyes.

"Well, hello, love," Crowley said quietly, still holding your face. "I thought I'd never find you."

You shook your head, tugging on his blazer as you frowned, lip quivering and vision blurring. "You made it..."

"Don't ask me, I'm not sure," he admitted with a curt shake of his head. "Just... I am glad I found you."

"I found you," you pointed out quietly, voice shaking. "I thought I'd never..."

Crowley shushed you softly, one hand slipping to the back of your neck so he could feel you against him again; your breaths, although ragged and panting, made him close his eyes as he sighed heavily.

"It's a good thing, too," he told you. "I can't imagine having to tell the Winchesters: now, give them back, boys or we'll have more problems."

You couldn't help it, laughing softly as you clung onto him, shaking your head and trying not to laugh at how scruffy he was. "You need a shave..."

"Later," he murmured. "Later, I promise, my love."

You nodded, not wanting to argue - even if it was only teasing. You just wanted to remind yourself that he was back, he hadn't left you forever and he never would; you were alright, he was alright. You were both alive.

"Come back to my motel with me," you muttered against his skin. "It's walkable..."

Crowley shook his head. "I'm not walking. We'll go in a minute, don't worry."

You nodded, sniffling and letting the guilt wash over you. "I got snot on you... I'm really sorry..."

"I'll clean it," he told you. "Don't worry."

He was never like that with anyone else, but then, you really were different to everybody else - you didn't try to change him, never betrayed him, never even got yourself involved with the Winchesters until Crowley did. You were the only one he could actually trust, you were the only one he could actually open up to, and he wasn't going to give up on that in the slightest.

Never.

"I'm glad you're back," you whispered hoarsely. "I didn't wanna go on without you... I was a little bit lost without you..."

"I know the feeling," he murmured. "I was a bloody big mess."

if you made it to the end of this fic and you enjoyed it, then please, if you have any cash to spare, even if it's just a few pounds, please consider giving them to help Tahini save her family.

[doorrobloxstuff]

Rush rambles for atleast 5 minutes about… stuff + headcanons

Tw//gore..lots of it..the usual. Honestly I might stop adding trigger warnings for gore because this is a horror game guys what did you expect? Confetti?? Death death blood gore mutilation.

If you don’t like soup. Don’t shop at the soup store.

—

When reading about figure/seek/any other entity. Especially in AMB or any x reader fics I produce

it’s always good to assume that they’ve recently eaten.

Because otherwise they’re going to be a little grumpy at best or MURDEROUSLY RAVENOUS LITERALLY MINDLESS MONSTER.

A human Y/N can go from “the exception” to “victim” in seconds and it wouldn’t even be the entities fault and definitely not Y/N’s.

Usually Seek and Figure have little pockets of corpses scattered or saved in either drywall or nasty gigantic globs of goo.

That’s why Rueben can casually walk up to figure and not get his head ripped off and why he went out to shoot a wild hog later. Figure is clearly hungry based on that fact it killed something.

So it isn’t usually a problem if they went for a few months without catching something.

But for entities who kill and eat their prey on the spot (think: Rush, Ambush and occasionally Halt.) they have it much more harder gauge

“how hungry are you?” Human Y/N’s may be in significant levels of danger there if the entity doesn’t say “mm..I’m getting hungry dear..you might want to stay away until I’m able to nab a kill..”

This is also why Seek (and a few other entities) will not make a relationship a longterm one with a human unless said human eventually plans to become an entity. Which IS possible according to my awesome and cool and very epic headcanon. 😎😎😎

From a distance I like to think that if Rush REALLY wants to kill someone, (super duper hungry starving desperate kinda hungry..)

- it simply stops making noise and sneaks up and simply slams its teeth into someone or opens its mouth wide enough to cover an enterance way and simply allows someone to step in.

Or even FUNNIER it opens up like a bear trap and lets someone who’s not paying attention in a dark room. I like to think that the reason why Rush + Ambush eat so well is because of the snare rooms.

Snare is quite little. Be it because it’s a juvenile entity (if you believe in my silly little headcanon that it’s the child of Figure/seek) or because it’s naturally small.. cannot kill quite well nor can it tear killed prey to pieces like the others can.

But in its little head RUSH can. Rush can do many things…so maybe RUSH can help it catch food!

Now here comes Rush, struggling to catch prey. And ‘oh boy! Convenient little plant just so happens to catch people and animals in it’s spines! It cannot kill someone, but I CAN!!’

So together Snare catches the prey, and Rush tears it to bits and together they share the spoils 45/65 because snare is very small and doesn’t need that much while Rush needs a lot. Depends on the human/animal they catch.

I like to imagine their conversation went something like this:

Rush: ‘RUAAHAHAHAHAFAGSHDHSHHAGWYAUAYAUAUAGDHDHWEEEEECH’

Snare: *agreeable plant noise.*

Both:

And thus an unbroken alliance was formed. A boundless friendship between the two.

[paperanddice]

Death worms may not have the sheer terror behind them that purple worms carry, but they are somewhat more common due to their smaller size. They don't need the same amount of food and hunting space as the much larger worms, and so multiple can live in a territory that would be stripped bare by a purple, making encountering one a more common possibility. And while they may be less dangerous, that doesn't mean people want to encounter them still. Wielding acid, lightning, and poison as weapons, they are hard to prepare for or counter. Bolts of lightning and a heavy spray of acid kill those who try to stay out of the worm's reach, and those who it catches succumb to its poison if they're not simply ripped apart by its vicious bites. Even its blood is dangerous, corroding metal that comes in contact with it, dulling blades and pitting hammers.

The decapus looks like a ten-armed octopus, except it has a full face with a fanged mouth on its side, rather than a beak at the center of the tentacles the way an octopus or squid does. They can be found mostly deep underground, but have been encountered in tangled forests on the surface. They are clumsy on the ground, but quite agile to climb and swing from elevated surfaces, and use this underground and from trees to spring vicious ambushes. They are actually quite intelligent, though rarely have interest in negotiating with other creatures. In fact, they seem to prefer devouring humanoids over other prey, gnomes in particular. They use their ability to replicate any sound they've heard before and clever illusions to lure prey in before dropping from above in attack, occasionally coordinating with other decapuses or natural hazards to better distract potential meals. Some decapuses will gain a sort of god complex though, and take violent control of whatever creatures they can force to obey them, using their followers to gather food, and eating them if they don't supply enough.

(I still misread the decapus every time I see it. It's supposed to be pronounced like "octopus" except with deca instead of octo, but I always read it like "decapitate")

Inspired by the Pathfinder 1e Bestiary 2. This post came out a week ago on my Patreon. If you want to get access to all my monster conversions early, as well as access to my premade adventures and other material I’m working on, consider backing me there!

Death Worm  Large 5th level troop [beast]  Initiative: +9 Bite +10 vs. AC - 28 damage. Natural Even Hit: The target also takes 10 ongoing poison damage. Miss: 14 damage. R: Lightning Jolt +10 vs. PD (one nearby enemy) - 20 lightning damage. Natural Even Hit: The death worm makes a second lightning jolt attack against a different enemy as a free action. C: Acid Spray +10 vs. PD (1d4+1 nearby enemies in a group) - 18 acid damage. Limited Use: 1/battle. [Special Trigger] Corrosive Blood +10 vs. PD - the target takes a cumulative -1 penalty to damage with the weapon it used to make the attack until the end of the battle. If this penalty reaches -5, the weapon is destroyed. Limited Use: 1/round, as an interrupt action when an enemy makes a melee weapon attack against the death worm and rolls a natural odd hit. Burrow. Resist Acid and Lightning 16+. AC 20 PD 19 MD 14 HP 166

Decapus  3rd level spoiler [aberration]  Initiative: +6 Swarming Tentacles +8 vs. AC - 6 damage. Natural Even Hit: The decapus can grab the target. Bite +8 vs. AC - 6 damage. Quick Use: 1/turn, as a quick action against an enemy the decapus has grabbed. R: Confusion Illusion +8 vs. MD (all nearby enemies) - The target is distracted (save ends). A distracted enemy takes a -1 penalty to AC and all defenses, and if it rolls a natural 1-5 on an attack roll or saving throw it becomes dazed until the end of its next turn. Wall Climber. AC 18 PD 16 MD 15 HP 44

[dragonspined]

Devani may have been thrilled that the news wasn’t on their ass for once.  Had they not been discussing one James Barnes having been at the scene of some sort of massive attack.  Fire, building coming down, but no actual idea what had happened.  If it was a targeted thing, an accident or something that was better off left to the Avengers.  Whatever was left of them.  She’d paid no attention once the threat to him and the world had passed.  It no longer affected her and she had never had any loyalty to them anyway.  

Never the less, they weren’t about to leave their best friend to his possible death.  Again.  They hadn’t even turned off the tv before springing out a window.  He would owe her a solid steak for this. With the live view from the crew on scene, Devani was able to teleport immediately into the chaos.  Fire sirens blaring, police already swarming. Still, no one who seemed to have any idea what was actually going on. Concerning, but it wouldn’t stop her from charging in.

All she could smell was smoke-nothing indicative of anything more than wood burning. Her natural ability to see heat is useless here. Seeing the wind is more useful. It was shifting to the north, towards the responders and crowds. They roar and listen for any response, remaining in the air long enough to evaluate the best entry location. Wings fold into a dive, talons ripping at concrete and rebar. Some crumbles under the strength of their tearing. It takes some effort, and too much time, to make a hole big enough to fit through. Shifting back isn’t an option. Whatever happened, she’ll likely need the size advantage.

Head snakes through dark halls before approaching on foot. The fire has spread dangerously though it merely warms scales to the touch. Devani stopped being able to be burnt thousands of years ago. “James!” Their call is a warbling ring, loud, both mental and spoken. They shoulder through a wall, third eyelid barely protecting vision from stinging smoke. It already tickles their nose and lungs uncomfortably. “James you rutle bardreg if I find out you aren’t even in here I’m gonna be pissed!” That would be just her luck wouldn’t it.

There. A familiar scent amongst ash and fear. That of gunpowder, metal and sandalwood. Bright eyes glow in the soot ridden gloomy halls. From outside, she can hear water hitting the building. Devani shoves her head through a door, glaring at the man inside near unrecognizable under ash. Otherwise the room is empty. Disconcertingly so-as if it never had a purpose. The floor shifts dangerously under her feet. "Jesus, I'm putting you under house arrest. Are you okay?" Large teeth loom over him as if she would pick him up by the scruff like a hatchling. She should. He deserves it.

He seems okay. They can't see or smell any blood on him. James is probably starting to overheat even with his abilities. They'd estimate the ambient temperature around four hundred and climbing. Even the dragon is getting hot, unable to cool off with only baking air to breathe in. "Come on, dumbass. Before you become even more of a snack." Legs move to herd him toward the door. Devani hears it before registering there's nothing to do. In such a small space there's no room for wings to extend and they aren't about to leave him here. "Fuck." In near perfect comedic timing with the word, they drop, still standing as if the floor was still there. Instinct prompts curling up in a ball, protecting all the vulnerable parts and letting thicker scaled back take any damage. Except for a too sharp bit of metal sticking out of the collapse that promptly catches on thick muscle where left wing connects to body on the way down. The rush of oxygen triggers fire above to charge into the room and from below, where Devani lays rather awkwardly on what might have one been a break room. She keens upward, a wordless sound of pain and concern. There's no exit for James anymore. Not the way she came in at least. And unless she suddenly developed a talent for digging, there was no going down. Devani frantically licks at hot blood pooling around shoulder, trying to get rid of it or stem it lest she become an explosive hazard. Dragon blood had an odd propensity to spontaneously combust when exposed to air. "Stay-are you alive?"

@moonfloret sent: danger

[yanderes-galore]

The news about Resident Evil 4 remake made me rewatch some videos of the original and, anyway I was thinking about how Leon gets infected by Las Plagas and all. May I ask for a scenario or concept of infected!Leon being protective of his Darling?

There's some really good fan art concepts online of Las Plagas! Leon, ngl. Pulling from those. Take this as an AU. May make this a scenario later as I found it came out nice.

Ended up as a Las Plagas! Leon general concept sorta, lol

Yandere! Las Plagas! Leon S. Kennedy Being Protective

Concept

Pairing: Romantic/Animal/Pet-Like

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Yandere-like behavior, Feral beast Leon, Murder, Violence, Stalking, Overprotective behavior, Possessive behavior, Monster loving.

- Let's say Leon doesn't get the Las Plagas parasite removed in time.

- The mission is officially considered a failure and Leon is left trying to regain his more human mind.

- Everything is just so fuzzy....

- He's just about going feral and is much different from how he is when human.

- How you fit into this can be up to you.

- You could be Leon's partner, someone not infected in the village Leon's investigating, or someone deployed to find Leon's whereabouts.

- In any of these ways Leon would probably act the same.

- He has a much more feral mind than his usual self due to the parasite so how he finds you might be through stalking.

- He plans on hunting you down but some human part of his mind holds him back from leaping on top of you.

- He's better than that... he has to be.

- You could imagine Las Plagas! Leon however you want but personally I like to imagine him like a hybrid of the Verdugo.

- Tail, claws, sharp mandibles, etc.

- However if you want more accurate to the game you can imagine him keeping more of his human form without all that.

- It doesn't change his advanced reflexes, endurance, and speed.

- He's no longer human but he's strong enough to keep at least some moral compass.

- By the time you catch a glimpse of him it's clear something's wrong.

- His clothing is ripped due to excelerated growth and attacks from other villagers.

- His eyes are crazed, drool is dripping from his mouth.

- Everything about him looks dangerous to you, but you notice he never makes any attempt to outright lunge at you.

- Leon's always staring at you from afar.

- His eyes are trained on you but he usually is atop a building or behind something.

- You don't entirely see his full appearance until you run into danger.

- Perhaps you're surrounded by infected villagers, or managed to find an even bigger/stronger foe.

- You think you're a goner...

- Left to die by being maimed in this village that reeks of death.

- Then, there's a roar.

- Before your eyes you see Leon on a rooftop, eyes burning in fury at your enemies.

- You heave a sigh in defeat and close your eyes, trying to keep your distance.

- Then you see Leon not attacking you, but defending you.

- The beast growls and does what he can to protect you until nothing else moves except you and him.

- Then Leon turns to you, eyes focused before keeping close to you.

- He can no longer just watch you from afar.

- He needs to be beside you to keep you safe.

- That leads to you and Leon becoming (forced) companions.

- He never talks much, only following you around like a strange puppy.

- Not many come near you after Leon forces himself by your side.

- Most of the time he walks on two legs, yet sometimes four is faster.

- When Las Plagas! Leon is feeling protective he'd probably wrap himself around you and growl.

- If that doesn't work then he goes in for the kill.

- There's also a chance Leon would be affectionate even in this form.

- Although he is rough with it.

- Rubbing against you harshly, pulling you into abandoned buildings to hold you....

- Leon becomes an overprotective guard dog as a Las Plagas beast when it comes to you.

- In his human mind, he adores and loves you.

- Although the parasite makes him much more like a beast when it comes to expressing such thoughts.

- He doesn't care what happens to anyone who crosses him or you.

- As long as he can keep you safe then his claws will rip them to shreds.

[leam1983]

Cyberpunk: Edgerunners - Quickie

There's something to the tone of this CD Projekt RED-produced and Studio TRIGGER-developed offshoot of a troubled AAA game that's an even better representation of the original Cyberpunk 2020 tone than V's own adventures could ever hope to be.

The first five episodes are tone-setters, and the last five are stake-builders, to the point where you don't really need to have played Cyberpunk 2077 to be able to follow along. The format may be a bit disorienting, as characters frequently exchange plot details through visually-projected conference calls (similar to 2077's, minus the animated vignettes), but it at least has the merit of laying everything out clearly. You're effectively infodumped, but provided you can keep up, the pace quickly ends up feeling natural.

What absolutely is going to be a bit odd to some is the weird juxtaposition of Mike Pondsmith's Glasgow Smile-sporting rendition of terminal Capitalism, rendered as is the case in-game with a generous dose of Californian umber tones and plenty of pink neon framing; and character designs and movement studies that are, well, effectively ripped out of Kill La Kill or Gurren Lagann. Car chases that would normally be rendered in teeth-clenching seriousness either in the game or in the pen-and-paper system here turn into automotive ping-pong, with the Anime's designers playing extremely fast and delightfully loose with the various guns' power levels.

That's without mentioning the final piece of ordnance the final two episodes introduce, which sort of rips a chuckle out of you. There is definitely a point where the script for the miniseries turns into loose bylines that basically say "do whatever the Hell you want with these characters, Pondsmith's usually-prescribed tone suggests nobody's going to make it out alive, anyway."

Not that everyone actually dies, but it's clear that TRIGGER thought that past a certain point, they were free to more or less grab the characters like a child does random action figures and then smash them together while making Mouth Explosion noises. That might seem like a bad thing, but in-context; it's absolutely fine.

So, what's the plot? Well, we open to the dreary routine of one David Martinez, seventeen years old, enrolled in Arasaka Corporation's private academy. His mother is the Santo Domingo Salt-of-the-Earth type, a Night City Medical paramedic who didn't quite make the cut for Trauma Team but who's working shift after shift in order to cover her son's exorbitant tuition and equipment-related fees. Martinez himself is the type to play it fast and loose with his program's requirements, mostly to save his mom a buck or two. It works for a while, but a mixture of his own hubris and of the academy's festering elitism sees him kicked out. Before long, you're shown that even washing machine cycles running on private laundry setups are paid-for, and that Megabuildings are mostly a place for people to squat in, as opposed to thriving in.

As you can expect, Karma deals the Martinezes an excessively crummy hand, and David soon finds himself alone. Not only alone, but also expelled from school, denied housing - and with no obvious employment opportunities. None, that is, except Edgerunning.

As a term, Edgerunning's always struck me as, well, being needlessly edgy, at the risk of feeling facile. What Pondsmith's referring to is a string of high-risk, high-reward criminal entreprises, within the scope of which a brush with death is a constant possibility. Traditionally, anyone who runs a Cyberpunk pen-and-paper campaign has to provide that extreme sense of tension, something you'd find in Dungeons & Dragons if you over-leveled your mobs or that's inherent to more masochistic game systems along the lines of Zweihander. A Cyberpunk should, canonically, always be on the run from someone, running towards something, and be led along a high-stakes tale that's less about crushing the System, and more about setting the stage so you can die trying.

In that respect, the Anime's work is flawless. What starts as Transhuman pickpocketing gigs devolves into a series of individually-small mistakes, said mishaps setting the stage for a proper settling of Cyberpsychosis as a concept. TRIGGER's tone goes from the usual bursts of jovial eccentricity you know them for and then takes a hard-left into personal trauma and all-consuming drives - and of what happens when your ambitions ultimately consume you. I'm especially surprised by the visual tells they've designed for Cyberpsychos, typically beginning as eerily fluid eye-jitters in the middle of the usual expanse of TV-grade low-FPS rendering, and then devolving into blink-and-you'll-miss-it stylistic changes and warped proportions that really sell the notion of what a proper case of psychosis is - which is a variably clean break from reality.

The pacing, however, is all over the place. The first episodes feel lovingly crafted, comfortably stretching out to let the source material breathe, while the second half spiders off into a handful of side-plots that don't all consistently lead somewhere. Some characters disappear without much fanfare and appear without much more consideration. All that's missing is one of YouTube's signature comedians known for their loud and random insertions to barge in and yell "ELLIPSIS!" during a scene change.

"ELLIPSIS! DAVID IS SHREDDED NOW, DON'T ASK QUESTIONS! ELLIPSIS! THEY HAVE A FIXER NOW, AND GIANCARLO ESPOSITO IS HAMMING IT UP FOR A PAYCHECK! ELLIPSIS! MARTINEZ IS HAVING MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES!"

On the plus-side, one of these weird jump-cuts is a rather obvious callback to the game's notorious bugginess upon release, with Martinez phasing through an oncoming car just before a sudden and jarringly hilarious four-lane car T-Bone-a-ganza occurs and sends Night City's big and chunky Chevillons flying across the screens like pool balls bouncing around.

The series acts like the viewer's just going to pick things up as they go without much lag, and expects them to pick up on concepts mentioned once and never properly framed. That leads to a situation where the preferrable watching experience is Ye Olde Netflix Binge Watch, seeing as everything can remain consistently fresh. If you watch one episode per day or week, you might find yourself asking "Who's that guy again? Why does he have four eyes? Why the Hell is Arasaka Counterintel getting involved, again? Why do people repeat words all the time?"

There's a missable bit in 2077's prologue where, after being poked about his spotless Innocent Schoolboy impersonation, Jackie Welles half-jokingly and half-defensively replies "I'm always never not nice!" That last sentence's concept - inverting values to sort of elongate a structure - becomes oddly prevalent after Episode 6, as if it had been elected as part of the lingo at the same level as preem, choom, nova and so on. It's cute the first few times, but soon becomes annoying.

Otherwise, if you've gone through multiple playthroughs of 2077 like I have, you'll realize that a lot of the Anime's set designs are faithful renditions of certain early-game locations. It's fun, but you'd figure not every Megabuilding apartment has to look exactly like V's, and that not every Scavenger den has to look like where we're tasked to save Sandra Dorsett. It's less of a problem as the series opens up, but the early episodes do feel like the producers had a field day referencing in-engine stills.

So, is it max nova, or should you ghost on it? Well, choombhatta; I'd say it depends. If you're expecting true-blue CD Projekt RED grit, you'll be left scratching your head. If you wondered what Night City would look like if the highs were so high as to turn cartoony, and so low as to make V's own sojourn feel sobering in contrast, you'll get some sense of it here.

[duskwoodraven]

Okay! 👏👏 I’d say it’s time for the long after episode MWAF theory/pick apart everything! Of course this will be littered with lots of spoilers so don’t read if you haven’t finished ep 8 yet!

Now as a sort of disclaimer, I know that some people are preparing to throw the Richy is the MWAF theory out the window, which I do not blame them for by this point. The game has screamed over and over again that Richy is gone yet I can’t help but hold on to my theory to the bitter end.😅 I hope everyone has an open mind to what I have to say on the matter. Maybe there will be some points or reminders to help you find your own take on the topic as I explain my own thoughts in the process.

———

First of all, one of the things that has bothered me since the ending is that they still haven’t explained this very basic fact about the MWAF. How in the world did the MWAF know about the group’s investigations and MC’s involvement?

I touched upon this in my last couple theories where I pushed for Richy’s guiltiness by explaining that for the MWAF to know that Jessy would be out on a walk with us, or to know Richy wouldn’t be at Rogers Garage when he was marked, or even knowing we agreed to help this investigation at all, he would need access to the group chats. He would need to know basic information about the groups whereabouts and plan according to it. Not answering this basic fact would leave a gaping hole in the plot.

Micheal Hanson by what we know, left Duskwood more then a year ago, essentially a missing person in the eyes of Duskwood. The group apparently didn’t even know his name so none of them would have told him directly what they were up to. The only way he might be getting information about anything is from Phil, who was being told everything by Jessy herself. That might be plausible if you squint, but yet we know Jessy and Phil’s relationship was even worse in the beginning episodes, I highly doubt Jessy would tell Phil much about herself and the investigation and there is no saying if Phil would even think to move this information along to Michael if he was even in contact with the old bar owner at the time. Also we received a call from the MWAF the very first time we talked to Dan, waaaay in the beginning episodes, we didn’t even know who Phil was at that point, yet the MWAF knew who we were almost immediately.

Then I played with the idea that the MWAF was using an encryption like Alan was or using a spy mode like Jake is, to read everything secretly, but that idea was tossed out too. Michael was a bar owner not a hacker or police investigator, there is little reason to believe he’d know how to do something like that, nor would anyone in his life teach him how to do it either.

(Also as a bonus point for why the MWAF might be Richy, the MWAF didn’t seem to be aware that Jessy and Thomas were heading to the house at all, he still had his candles lit and “art” up so he couldn’t have prepared for their arrival and hide. He might have only noticed Thomas and Jessy where there when he saw the car. This took place after we removed Richy from the chat as well so...)

Secondly, the MWAF’s motivation, why would Michael wait 10 years to take revenge for his daughter and why is he mainly attacking the group over it? For benefit of the doubt, Michael is the few suspects who has a possible motive that makes some sort of sense, yet it’s such a drastic leap in logic for him to attack the group at all.

If Michael is the MWAF and he’s attacking people for revenge, then why would he take Hannah, who we know feels guilty over Jennifer’s death and seems to be working to find out the truth about the case, and kidnap her. She’s trying to bring justice to his daughter, so why would Jennifer’s own father try and interrupt that process? Even if Hannah somehow helped cause Jennifer’s death (reminder that Hannah would have been a child by this point) we know she wasn’t the true killer, it was a man who hit her with a car and took her body into the woods. If Michael really wanted further revenge, killing that man should have been on the top of his priorities, not Hannah.

The hostility he has towards the group is also strange, for a man who cares only for revenge, he seems oddly determined to wipe out everyone, that sounds more like a man who is afraid of being caught then a man who just wants to take down the people who hurt his daughter in the past. That doesn’t sound like the role of a grieving father to me.

And once again he has waited a long time to seek out this revenge anyway, this man was apparently a sheep herder of sorts according to Lily before he disappeared, why come back at all? A parent who lost their child will never lose the pain of that child’s absence, but you’d think the burning embers of revenge would simmer down after 10 years of time and reflection, what could have triggered him to come back? And why would he pick the most foolish spot to set up his base? He should know he was suspected in the past, setting up camp at his own house will easily connect him to the crime as Lilly had demonstrated by throwing out this theory at the end of the episode.

I think it’s more possible for someone else to use Michael Hanson’s house as a coverup to throw off suspicion of himself. Yet who knows? Maybe he is foolish enough to do that lol.

Thirdly, the inconsistency of the legend, the MWAF is not doing a good job at being consistent. He is not taking the people he marked at the first moon of the year and he is also killing them. The original book did not state the people who are taken will die, simply that they will disappear, yet the MWAF supposedly set out to kill Richy, but doesn’t kill Hannah.

And we now know Hannah is most likely alive at this moment because the MWAF stated so in the phone call he was going to kill her. I don’t think he’s lying because it would honestly benefit him more to kill Hannah and tell the group that he did to destroy the groups moral completely rather than keeping her alive.

With these inconsistencies, why should we trust the rules of the legend, they seem to be more like guidelines for the MWAF then actual facts.

Heck, when we talked to Darkness, he told us that the MWAF takes his victims to kill them, something not stated in the book at all.

From this, the book may very well be wrong and unreliable, perhaps the MWAF is following a different legend, a different version of the tale that Darkness might know about. Either way, it would be unwise to connect Micheal to the MWAF simply because of what the legend says until we know why these inconsistencies are taking place.

Basically what I am trying to say, the group is accepting Michael as guilty too fast for my taste, the only facts we have for Michael being the one who did it is that he’s 1. The father of Jennifer 2. The legend we first read was about a father taking revenge 3. We found the MWAF’s “art” inside Michaels old house. 4. Not many people know where Michael is.

That is enough evidence to have someone arrested and investigated, not to convict them of a crime.

———

So do I still think Richy is guilty? Well... somewhat.

I still firmly believe Richy has the most evidence pointed to him and would have the ability to execute the actions we have seen the MWAF take, he would have had access to group chats, his body is still missing like I figured it would be, and he has the knowledge of Duskwood’s history and landscape. He truly is a perfect fit in many ways in my own opinion except for how he fits into this legend and what his motivation could possibly be. Plus the fact that his hat was bloody when it was found, I don’t know if Richy would be capable of harming himself on purpose to make everything more convincing.

All and all, questions still need to be answered and I don’t want to be too hasty in declaring who the MWAF truly is until we can rip the mask off of his face and get him behind bars for good 😌

I’ll be interested to hear your takes on this below, and I’ll probably expand on this conversation when I think of more relevant points or to explain my idea more in-depth if anyone is confused over this post, thanks for reading til the end! 💛

[fandom-scatteredthoughtsonpaper]

Hi hi! i think you said asks were open in your newest post? If not feel free to ignore this lol

I would love to see headcannons of an MC who, though acting brave, gets very scared of the brothers

example after lucifer and the grimoire and such? like MC slowly becomes MORE scared of them, and tries to hide it, but it's getting obvious that theyre scared if that makes sense lol 💖

Ahhhhh, sorry this took longer than it necessarily should have! I feel like I was much closer to what you wanted with this request than the other, so hopefully you'll enjoy it too ❤️

GN MC THAT PROGRESSIVELY FEARS THE BROTHERS

Living with demons is hard, especially when they're the rulers of hell, err, the Devildom.

Sure, there's the implication they're not supposed to hurt or do anything harmful to you, as you have the safety of being an exchange student, but that veil of ignorance was quickly lifted before even the two week mark of living with these brothers.

You've tried getting along with them, and for the most part you've been successful, but a few circumstances have arisen that have reminded you that these boys are dangerous demons... and you're the human that keeps poking the three-headed dog while it sleeps.

Mammon:

You're not so much scared of what Mammon could physically do, but you're paranoid that he goes into your room and rummages in your belongings and personal keepsakes. Your room is the only thing you have that you can claim as your own, and it's your sanctuary, despite it being in the brothers' house.

Of course, the brothers will periodically just barge in without alerting you by asking or knocking, but you've grown okay with that. You're at least in your room and able to see what they do in there. There are a few occasions Levi or Satan might mention going into your bedroom to retrieve a video game or book they had loaned you, but you make sure to put their item on the dresser by the entrance, so they don't have to venture too far in. You're okay with that.

You're not okay, however, with Mammon when he goes into your room unannounced. Hell, you're not totally comfortable with him being in your room unattended if he does give you a heads-up.

You know how kleptomaniac Mammon can be. You've heard enough complaints and stories to know how relentless Mammon can be in his search for anything that could give him a few Grimm from his brothers. You've talked with this greedy demon about items he's stolen, witnessed thefts a few times too.

So, you feel something akin to victimized when Mammon goes into your room without your permission or you being there. Your room emits this vibe of disturbance, and it bothers you because you don't know what might be missing or "borrowed". It troubles you more because now your room feels foreign again, like the atmosphere was plagued by essences that you know aren't yours. Your anxiety swells with paranoia, fear, and mistrust again.

Leviathan:

Oh, for the most part, you don't have much conflict with Levi anymore. Once you made a pact with the otaku demon he relaxed a lot more and invited you to hang out in his room to play games or fuss about animation qualities in animes or gush about his favorite manga characters.

It's just that after that contest of who was the bigger TSL fan and Levi, enveloped by jealousy and fury, came at you with the intent to seriously harm you, you've had this overly-suspicious fear in the back of your mind, itching your paranoia that it could happen again.

You've learned that Levi's demon form is easily triggered by extreme feelings, rather that's excitement, irritability, or the emotion he avatars over, and you can't help be irritationally cautious when that happens. It's a reflex from the panic that engraved itself into your psyche for self-preservation.

If you weren't so anxious about another envy-fueled incident involving your life you might find Levi's excitement for the stuff he loves more endearing and cute.

Beelzebub:

If you hadn't seen how destructive Beel's tantrums over food firsthand could be you might find it hard to believe this relaxed and mostly uninvolved brother would have such a temper... but you did experience it, so you do believe it.

It was a custard! They're so easy to get more of, but Beel immediately flew off the handle and wouldn't see reasoning, lashing out and destroying the kitchen. If Mammon hadn't pulled you down with him to the floor as Beel started his outraged tantrum you're positive you would have been collateral damage too, like your poor room that was unfortunately placed on the other side of the kitchen wall.

It was a terrifying sight to behold, seeing the kitchen torn asunder and reduced to broken walls, obliterated cabinets, and smashed counters, with kitchen utensils and ruined cookware being sent into flight and raining down, razor-sharp and shattered into broken edges that could easily pierce flesh.

That moment of destruction lingers, along with the intense emotion of fright, triggered whenever Beel complains about being hungry or when he meets your gaze at the table during times to eat. You immediately offer your unfinished plate to him, which he happily accepts and consumes in seconds, to appease the Avatar of Gluttony's temper.

Asmodeus:

Asmo's promiscuity and salaciousness are what unnerve you the most. He's the Avatar of Lust, so obviously you were already on your defense, but you've seen glimpses beyond the surface level to what Asmo can be like. That's what intrigues you about him, and you try to focus on those bits that slip past his perfectionistic lifestyle and narcissistic personality. At the same time, however, this is the cause of your near downfalls when Asmo tries to allure you with his physical prowess.

He's tried a few times to charm you, and you feel this invasive power trying to persuade you to give into your raw and sexual temptations, or this tugging sensation that tries to attract you beyond what you feel is comfortable. The repulsed response is usually what repels you from the power Asmo tries to flaunt over you.

He usually huffs after his failed attempt but quickly rebounds by placing his hands around you and trying to embrace you himself, which Mammon, prompted by his denied feelings and jealousy, usually intercepts in your honor.

There's a few times you've worried yourself nauseous Asmo will corner you, and you won't be able to save yourself from his lustful persuasion. There's also the couple of times he's mentioned eating your heart, so that's also worrisome.

Satan:

There's no questions that you secretly fear Satan, more specifically his wrath. You slighted him once before, and the threat he imposed upon you while you were trapped between his demonic form and an over-stuffed bookcase was enough to brand itself to your soul as a reminder.

As docile as Satan may appear with his affection for cats, deep interest for detective shows, and shared affinity of books he could and, possibly, would rip you apart and lavish in the blood that wept from your lacerated flesh and tension of your bones rebelling before snapping satisfactory in halves and thirds.

Other than that, Satan is much easier to hang out with compared to his brothers, except when he gets that cruel temperament to torment Lucifer, which you exempt yourself from if the pranks are too excessive.

Belphegor:

Terror has never seeped into your soul like this before. Your anxiety spikes to levels you've never experienced before when Belphie plops down next to you on the couch or tries to start up a conversation. Your fight, flight, freeze, or fawn system goes haywire, and you become petrified, unable to respond properly.

You either stay away from Belphie altogether or stay glued to one of the other brothers, Mammon or Beel preferably. Just in case.

Just in case Belphie's lament arises again in the form of murderous hate, gleeful contempt clouding his eyes, as his hands find their way to your neck that remembers the tight embrace his fingers engraved into the nerves of your throat, the ghostly suffocating that chokes you up sometimes if you become too immersed in the memory of a body that hadn't belonged to you.

You're also sure you remember an aching in your ribs and spine that causes you to shiver sometimes, but you're not sure if you experienced that in a dream or illusion of the timeline merging. It still bothers you all the same.

For such a sweet face and quiet voice, Belphie is a demon that decieves, and you're better off staying away from him until you're over your PTSD. If that's possible.

Lucifer:

How many times has he almost killed you? Twice or three times? Enough to be too many and to penetrate your core with panic and trepidation whenever you see that sly smile that forms on his lips. It doesn't have to be directed at you, but it's enough to launch you into a panic attack that you barely keep under control.

That safety guard of being a representative from the human world and exchange student mean nothing when you test it by being a busybody in affairs that definitely don't involve you over and over again, especially when it's the pride and dignity of Lucifer being tested.

You hear your lesson but never learn, and unconsciously you must be masochistic for how many times you've brushed death with Lucifer's anger, but you keep pushing the limits.

You can't help going to Mammon's defense when you feel Lucifer is only targeting him for personal reasons or standing up to his ego when you feel he's going over his limits. Your bravery is stupidity though, and you feel your courageous backbone turn into a central nerve system of adrenaline and fear. You're just too stubborn and self-righteous to let Lucifer do as he pleases, but that doesn't mean you're not scared out of your wits.

You've gained an intuition for when Lucifer is approaching or silently comes up from behind you, and it sends a shiver down your back almost every time you're alone together.

If you have any headcanons that you want me to write, please send them my way! I enjoy writing these out. NSFW is okay, but please know I might not do it if I don’t like it. ❤️

[pinknatural]

When the Empty made the deal with Castiel, it had felt a sense of smug satisfaction. After all, what better way to punish the wayward angel then to take away his happiness? Either Castiel is happy, and the Empty can take him, or Castiel is never happy, living his life afraid of being taken. The Empty wonders how long the angel will be able to wallow in misery. A long time, probably. 

It’s a calculated punishment, and the Empty is very pleased with itself for coming up with it. How clever it is, and how perfect a punishment! This will teach Castiel what happens when you mess with the Empty. 

The Empty is contented to wait, busy with how loud the stupid nephil made it and with trying to manage the others within it’s ranks, but then Castiel goes and feels his true happiness, and when the Empty goes to retrieve him it finds that Death herself is also there for it to take. How delicious. The Empty already has one Death, and thinks it ought to start a collection. 

The Empty doesn’t know what Castiel expects, but it deposits him between Lucifer and Michael. They are awake, as is everyone, and the Empty must work to fix that, but for now Castiel may deal with the consequences of his actions. How many of these angels has Castiel killed? How many of these demons?

Yes, the Empty thinks, grimly satisfied with it’s work, Castiel will be properly punished. He will be in agony while he is awake, and when he sleeps the Empty will make sure that the angel is dreaming of his regrets, of his failures. Castiel will have a terrible eternity, this is for sure, and the Empty will go to sleep, and be at peace, and will win. It is as inevitable as all death is.

Except, of course, that the Empty failed to calculate one thing. 

An insignificant human man wearing a flannel shirt holds on to Castiel with one arm, cradling his sleeping body against his chest, and with his other arm he holds out a gun, pointed directly to the manifestation of the  Empty. The Empty is torn apart, ripped apart, holes in its very foundation. It can feel angels and demons escaping it, slipping out the gaping wounds like blood, seeping back into the regular plane. It is manifested as a gooey black humanoid, and it is on the ground, staring up at Dean Winchester. 

“How is this possible?” it spits, and Dean Winchester has blood on his face and his gun arm is steady. 

A day ago, the Empty was eternal and infinite. A day ago, the Empty had won. 

Today, the Empty thinks it is about to die. It wonders where it will go. 

“A month ago I killed God,” Dean Winchester says, his face impassive. “An ancient cosmic entity is nothing, asshat.” 

“You are bluffing,” the Empty says. “God is not dead. He would be here.”

“Oh, that’s right,” Dean Winchester says dangerously. “God begged me to kill him, and I refused. I won’t give you the same luxury.”

“What did I do wrong?” the Empty cries. “All I did was my duty--collect angels and demons, make them sleep. Castiel is just another angel--just a number, added to my ranks.” Dean Winchester’s grip tightens on Castiel, and his face hardens. 

“You’re wrong,” Dean Winchester snarls, and the Empty wails. 

“Do you know how many angels and demons are escaping, right now?” it asks. “Do you really want to set demons like Azazel or Abaddon free? Angels like Zachariah? Or Lucifer?”

Dean Winchester’s face doesn’t change. 

“Who killed those people?” he asks, his voice quiet, and the Empty evaluates, freezes. 

“You did,” it says, surprised. 

“Yes,” Dean Winchester says. The word is heavy. It sounds like a promise. “And I’ll do it again. And Cas’ll be right beside me.”

“I didn’t calculate for this,” the Empty says. It is not an excuse, just--a statement. 

“You should’ve,” Dean Winchester says, and then his finger tightens on the trigger, and the Empty knows no more. 

[jamiiviper]

The Jamil Essay

this is a reupload of a post i made a couple of weeks ago - previously it was an external link to a google doc, so it never showed up in any of the twst tags, but i worked so hard on this and i would really love it if more people read it, so i’m reuploading directly to tumblr.

to put it simply, this is a 3.7k word character analysis purely about jamil. and even with a word count like that i wasn’t quite able to cover everything i wanted to say, so who knows, maybe there’ll be a part 2 one day. i’ve also decided i do want to write a kalim version, so i’ll probably start working on that sometime soon! stay tuned!

trigger warnings: mentions of child abuse

jamil is the vice dorm leader of scarabia, who’s been kalim’s caretaker practically since birth. he puts on a facade of not standing out, preferring to remain completely average, and plans his life around kalim’s antics. as we learned in chapter 4, however, his true feelings are that he bears a lot of resentment towards kalim, and that he wants to stand out - he just wasn’t allowed to, as he can never surpass kalim.

in this essay i want to cover not just my personal interpretation of jamil, but also some common misconceptions that people tend to have about him. twitter doesn’t have this problem as much, but with tumblr i’ve found that there are very few jamil stans, especially in the theory and writing communities - meaning it’s quite common for people to misunderstand his character. in the fandom as a whole, it’s common for people to only acknowledge him insofar as “gay for kalim”. 

firstly, jamil’s character development in the main story - i would say he’s arguably the best-developed character in twst, since yana now has enough chapters available to flesh out characters after their main story arc ended. jamil holds very deep-seated resentment against kalim, to the point that he plotted to betray him for probably several years. he plotted to have kalim not just thrown out of nrc, but thoroughly ruin his reputation in the process. after his overblot, those feelings did not magically vanish - far from it. i think earlier twst chapters suffered from arcs being wrapped up a little too neatly post-overblot, but pomefiore’s arc has already proved itself to be the exception and thoroughly covers not just jamil’s continued dislike for kalim, but also the wider consequences for what he did.

since the twst school year begins in september, we know jamil is about 9 months older than kalim. from literally the day kalim was born, jamil’s life has been dedicated to kalim. possibly since the day jamil was born, and he was always fated to be kalim’s caretaker. it may even have been the reason he was born at all. either way, it’s not like he remembers those 9 months. all jamil has ever known is that his sole purpose must be to serve kalim. he must not have desires of his own, he must not do anything for himself - from childhood he was expected to be ready to give up his life for kalim at a moment’s notice. he can’t be good at anything - kalim must always be better (i’ll cover this in more depth in a later paragraph, this philosophy is key to his character). his own parents drilled this into him, even going to the extent of hitting him if he didn’t comply. it seems he has a normal relationship with his family despite this - he bickers with his sister like regular siblings, and pre-overblot he indicated that his desire to be free from servitude wasn’t just about him, he wanted to free his family. nonetheless, the psychological damage his childhood caused him is severe. is it any wonder his unique magic is mind control, when he’s never had an ounce of control over his own life?

moving onto his early teen years, we know both jamil and kalim were severely poisoned at one point, both falling into comas for around two weeks. although we don’t have a timeframe for jamil’s coma, we know kalim’s was when they were around 13 years old. if jamil’s was around this age too - probably a short while afterwards - i think it’s plain to see why jamil’s resentment began to build. he’d have been around the age where he first started to question why his life has to revolve around kalim. why should he be expected to die for someone he doesn’t even like, who’s spoiled and doesn’t realise how much jamil does for him? kalim takes everything for granted: status, friendships, freedom, and jamil is meanwhile left in the shadows with nothing. then one day kalim gets poisoned so badly he falls into a coma - how much do you want to bet jamil was blamed for that, at the age of 13? after that he’s expected to taste-test anything kalim eats beforehand, and eventually starts making all his meals for him because the risk of poison is so high otherwise. then one day he slips up, or it’s an undetectable poison, and jamil is the one to fall into a coma. is anyone blamed for that? does anyone pity jamil outside of his immediate family + kalim? no, probably not. after all, he’s just doing his duty, right? it’s truly… no wonder jamil’s resentment became so intense. he finally has proof that his life truly does not matter. although kalim certainly cares about him, he doesn’t understand jamil’s position. he sees jamil as a friend, an equal; jamil knows this can never be the case, and he also knows kalim is too privileged to ever hope to understand. 

fast forward on a couple of years to jamil receiving his nrc acceptance letter. he thinks that finally, finally he’s going to be free. four years of freedom - and who knows, maybe after that he can be free forever! he can finally excel at his classes and be his true self, without fear of upstaging kalim! 

and then kalim gets accepted a month late. for no reason other than his surname. 

and then kalim gets sorted into his dorm.

it’s a miracle he didn’t just overblot on the spot - but that’s his nature as a scarabia student. careful foresight and planning. this moment was, undoubtedly, the moment he started planning his betrayal. he had his one month of freedom ripped away, just like that. 

oh, don’t forget the fact that not long after, kalim was made dorm leader not because he notably embodies scarabia values at all, but because of nepotism. (side note: most scarabia stans agree kalim does actually reflect scarabia values, just not as obviously as jamil does, but either way jamil himself wouldn’t see it this way. this is a jamil essay so i won’t go in depth about this unless asked to!)

under kalim’s watch, scarabia - known for its intelligence and cunning - is turned into “the party dorm”. this seems to be the fandom’s perception of them too - i mean, just ask any non-scarabia stan what goes on in scarabia, that’s probably the answer they’ll give you. jamil would have probably loved the original scarabia; although we don’t know much about it, we know scarabia students are on a par with octavinelle when it comes to intelligence (paralleling azul’s constant interest in jamil). yet by winter break, scarabia is doing so badly in those same exams that they didn’t even place in the rankings…? without meaning to, kalim clearly harmed scarabia. instead of getting chance to study magic and show off, jamil is now essentially an unpaid, full-time party planner by the time his second year starts.

a few months later, winter break finally arrives, and jamil executes his plan to dethrone kalim. i may have just spent the last two pages defending jamil’s grudge, but his actions themselves are still indefensible. there’s evidence to suggest kalim knew what was occurring on some level - refusing to answer jade’s question about who was hypnotising him proved that 1) he probably had some idea deep down that jamil was betraying him 2) he doesn’t want jamil to get in trouble for it. nonetheless, this does not make what jamil did okay in the slightest, even if kalim allowed it to happen. jamil is, undoubtedly, the bad guy in this situation, no matter how sympathetic his childhood makes you feel. i could go into detail about why kalim acted the way he did, but again, this is jamil-focused.

i’ll skip talking about his overblot, because i covered his hatred for kalim in a lot of depth already and i want to talk about the general aspects of his personality like his desire for praise later on. so moving onto the end of chapter 4, we see jamil’s true self: a snarky, heavily opinionated boy who honestly just wants to be free to be himself.

but just like his freedom, that side of jamil once again only lasts for a brief moment. jamil almost loses everything after his overblot. practically every scarabia student hates him and wants him thrown out of the dorm - even kalim, his sole defender, can’t call him a good person. he’s a traitor. he says he trusts the scarabia students to work out that it’s better for them if he stays, but that day won’t come any time soon, and until then he’s keeping his distance from them all, because their hatred is that strong. if azul truly had been streaming to more people than just jade, his life would have been ruined beyond repair. so what does jamil do? he goes back to serving kalim. as a scarabia student, his foresight is good enough that he knows the option he hates the most is the only one that’ll be good for him in the end. for jamil, being himself is nothing short of a death sentence.

now i’ve talked for far too long about the timeline of his character arc, i can finally get to the good stuff: jamil’s personality, and how it’s changed throughout the stories we’ve seen so far.

the first thing that springs to mind when you think of jamil, other than “snake”, is probably “tired”. or “he’s going to snap”. something along those lines. which... yes, we know he is. he did snap. after chapter 4, this doesn’t seem to have changed too much, but i do get the impression that he’s somewhat less stressed out by kalim. his resentment has dissipated, for the most part (he does still openly insult him, though), so while he does grumble at kalim there’s no suppressed fury behind it. what replaced that fury?

guilt.

in 5-10, jamil tells azul that he intends to continue to obediently follow kalim around in order to restore his reputation, both inside and outside of scarabia. this does of course make him sound pretty selfish (as per usual), and in classic jamil fashion he doesn’t let his true emotions show, so it’s easy to take this at face value and assume he just doesn’t really care. i think in this case, we need to look more at his actions that we see throughout chapter 5. namely, the way it’s being emphasised how he’s silently watching kalim from afar - something he’s always done, yes, but yana seems to be really making a point of it in chapter 5. it’s not just kalim he’s distancing himself from, either. he’s staying away from the rest of the scarabia students too, as mentioned earlier. he never had any friends at all to rely on, even before his overblot. so by doing this, he’s effectively completely isolating himself. he clearly has a lot of thoughts about everything that he’s not sharing with anyone - just listen to the way he sighs at the end of the flashback in 5-10, how annoyed and frustrated he seems. if jamil was telling the truth about just wanting to restore his reputation, he’d probably appreciate kalim’s efforts, even if he dislikes kalim himself. he shouldn’t be upset by kalim persuading the scarabia students to give him another chance. not if he truly just wants to get back to normal. i think on some level, jamil feels incredibly guilty over his actions. he might not have even admitted to himself yet that he feels this way, and by saying things like “i just want to restore my reputation” he’s just trying to convince himself. after all, that’s something he has a history of doing.

ever since jamil’s first introduction, we’ve known jamil lives his life by the philosophy of “not standing out is the best way to succeed”. he hates standing out or receiving any kind of positive attention at all, because he thinks that it’ll only attract trouble. or so we thought, because as we learned from his overblot, jamil desperately wants to stand out. he’s powerful and intelligent, and he wants people to acknowledge that. he wants the praise and recognition he knows he deserves. this means that whenever he said he didn’t want to stand out, he was lying through his teeth - he probably constantly tried and failed to convince himself of this throughout his childhood. during his lab SR story, he even repeats it to himself in his thoughts, like a mantra - “I want to avoid standing out. I can’t be satisfied with this. I cannot be too good, nor fall behind, and neither should I get satisfactory grades or fail. This is the best shortcut to success.”. much like his feelings of guilt, jamil refused to acknowledge how much he truly wanted to show off, even in his own thoughts. he is awful at being honest to himself.

post-ch5, we find out that despite everything, jamil does still hold this philosophy, to some extent. he of course shows off his singing and dancing skills enough to be chosen as a main vocalist, and he says he wants to make a name for himself and show various people just how talented he truly is: kalim, his family, the asims and MC, to name a few. yet in the chapter before that, when kalim compliments his singing and dancing, he’s like “i don’t really want to stand out, but…”. which is honestly a little confusing at first because he does want to. i’d probably interpret it as something along the lines of he wants to show off to the people he cares about, but he still wants to keep his head down in general. so i think that to some extent, maybe he actually has internalised that philosophy now. the one time he truly expressed his desire to stand out, it ended in catastrophe for him. he has this tiny seed of doubt within him now, telling him his parents were right all along. but... he’s working past it, and applying himself as and when he’s comfortable doing so.

going back to him being bad at being honest, jamil’s a pretty big tsundere. there’s one person he does regularly receive praise from: kalim. yet despite desperately wanting to be praised, he often gets annoyed at kalim and tells him something like “this isn’t about me right now” or “what does that have to do with anything?”. plus when the praise is coming from kalim, it’s often in the context of kalim praising him to other people - as a servant, he can’t be seen accepting all these compliments, right? he can never be better than kalim. so he has to reject kalim’s praise. when it’s just the two of them alone, though, is when jamil gets embarrassed to the point he has to hide his blush under his hood. given his childhood, chances are that he doesn’t really know how to process being praised. he knows he wants people’s approval, but when he actually gets it, he just short-circuits. it was the same at his birthday celebration; although he wants to be the centre of attention, when it actually happens, he gets all embarrassed and tsun. i was trying not to let my own personal feelings spill in this but oh my god he’s so cute i can’t

next... this isn’t really linked to any previous topic, but i want to talk about jamil’s cooking! jamil cooks all of kalim’s meals, and regularly cooks entire feasts for kalim’s parties, too (as well as being in charge of getting any animals kalim wants to show off, decorating the dorm, making sure everything runs smoothly… you get the idea). his cooking is very good, and he has a lot of technical knowledge about cooking too - azul, whose parents run a restaurant, didn’t know about emulsification, but jamil was able to explain it to him. despite being so good, though, according to his dorm SSR homescreen lines he doesn’t actually like cooking very much. he says the fact that he cooks so much is “just how things turned out”. of course, he could just be being a tsun, but i do feel like he’s being honest with this - what reason does he have to seriously enjoy something he was forced into doing his entire life? However there is evidence that he might enjoy it after all; he’s particularly good at alchemy because of his cooking knowledge, and according to magical archives he’s completely neutral in motivation for both flying and history lessons, but has slightly higher motivation levels for alchemy, indicating that he can’t stop himself from putting a little bit extra effort into that class. i think it can be interpreted either way with the canon info we have currently, but regardless i would not say he’s the cooking fanatic people often depict him as. 

also, when jamil cooks, although his cooking is good, visually it’s usually very boring, to the point he and his sister would bicker over it. he has the technical skills to cook good food, but no idea how to present it. similarly, in his fairy gala SR he was told that although he perfectly memorised the dance, it was boring to watch - it looked like he was just executing the routine without any passion behind it. jamil is so emotionally repressed that he has no idea how to express his individuality. even in his bedroom, the only truly personal items he owns are a first aid kit (related to his servant position, not him as a human being) and a stereo + headphones set for dancing. he doesn’t have any other hobbies or interests - he doesn’t even know what people his age do for fun, because he’s never been allowed to think about such things. 

dancing is all jamil has that’s not directly related to serving kalim, really - but even that ties into his servant status. although he genuinely enjoys it nowadays and dances by himself for fun, he only picked it up as a hobby because kalim wanted to go to dance practice, and of course jamil had to accompany him. when his flashback after his overblot talks about him deliberately losing to kalim, the story focuses specifically on a dancing competition. which is why it’s honestly so important to jamil’s character that chapter 5 focuses on a singing and dancing competition. jamil finally has the chance not just to show off his skills in general, but his skills at the one thing he’s been allowed to love throughout his life. the one thing where losing to kalim at it hurt so much that it was such a prominent memory for him. when jamil was chosen as a main vocalist, he instinctively tries to say kalim would be better suited for the position, but stops himself and accepts it. it clearly means so much to him that he was chosen for this.

okay i started to scare people with how long this was getting when it was only 50% finished, i think if i write anymore people will actually be concerned for my health so i’ll leave it here. if you read all of this, thank you so much for putting up with my anime boy brainrot for over six full pages! i really.. really like jamil. again, i most certainly do not think his actions should be defended, but god if they’re not fascinating to read about. and i hope i covered the other sides to him well enough, the things that you’d never ordinarily pick up on because so few people talk about him outside of him and kalim as a pair (both platonic scarabia + romantic jamikali, i mean). he has so much depth to him that people don’t see and god i could easily have gone on for another few pages if i wasn’t forcing myself to stop. but please please talk to me if you want to hear more...

yana has treated him so well, jamil stans get too much food if anything but i’m absolutely thriving off it as you can see! thank you for allowing him to exist, yana-sensei!

having said that, i couldn’t stop myself from adding some extra facts about him below. please enjoy.

some fun jamil facts for your soul:

his sister used to bake him cookies on his birthday - specifically, these!

when jamil and kalim went to eat at the cafeteria with ruggie and leona, leona took one look at jamil and went “you look like you’d kill kalim in his sleep”

sebek and jamil find each other’s positions enviable. sebek wishes he could have been by malleus’ side from birth as jamil was with kalim, and jamil just… wishes he served someone he respected as deeply as sebek respects malleus (but he does think sebek is too enthusiastic)

jamil hates surprises with a burning passion, and despite being with kalim for 17 years is still not used to them. for his previous birthday, kalim held a huge surprise party, and i think he still hasn’t recovered from the shock

i think a lot of people already know that in his birthday SSR story he said he wanted a parrot after graduation so he could teach it to call him master, but it goes a bit further than that? it was actually first mentioned during his lesson chats, when kalim gets a parrot. jamil has to research how to care for it, and ended up wanting one of his own afterwards (but got too tsundere to admit it at the time).

also, he heard that the sorcerer of the sands’ parrot (iago) could speak as fluently as a human, and he got excited and watched a bunch of parrot videos on magicam, but was of course disappointed to find out that this was not the case.

he frequently uses flattery to try and get his way, like when he attempts to flatter vil during his SSR story - unfortunately he misjudged vil, as vil’s actually the type of person who hates meaningless flattery. because he does this so frequently, when he genuinely does give compliments people don’t always believe him.

according to the halloween event, jamil is surprisingly environmentally conscious, and insists on holding a sustainable halloween theme. after organising so many parties and seeing the waste they probably produce, i think there’s no wonder he’s so concerned about it.

[entoman-created-by-the-tallgreys]

I made a post a long time ago they got a lot of negative attention called sexual combat.

It was supposed to mean that you know how dogs and puppies and other animals will play fight and get a little more aggressive.

They're training each other and they're just trying to see what each other are like well fairies are the same Fucking Way

Except what we have to we try to kill our women

Constantly it's brutally as possible

The method is that to sort out the strong from the weak

A real fairy female will be so f****** strong that there's no way you can kill her plus her mind is is a 10,000 times more rapid than a male her brain and her body moves so fast you can catch bullets !

The female knows she has to prove her supremacy to the male if you want to get sex he doesn't have to show supremacy she has to absolutely f****** prove she's Superior

Everything about her everything about her soul has to be absolutely Ultra Superior ultra fine Ultra strong Ultra fast

Then I'm so strong you put shotguns up to the skull and pull the trigger but they got to be pretty f****** strong

Listen my point is that the reason why we're always trying to kill our goddamn women is because we need to test out who's who our women are smart they know how to read us they know what's going to happen next they're going to have sex with us they know they can't get sex or they don't show their supremacy they don't show their power they don't show them eat the dead they can't believe they they don't show their carnivore that the show that there are proper f****** fairy female AKA and insectoid if they do not do that they do not get dick they do not get laid they do not get anything they get to die virgins

Instead of getting some meat in their stomach they end up as meeting someone else's stomach and not a male cuz we're herbivores

They get the moisture the vagina of another fairy female

And that's something they really don't want that is Ultimate female domination from one female Spirit on to the next

When inside to a female eats another insectoid female it is the highest form of domination it is the ultimate version of once in the energy completely destroying and exorbing other female energy to the points with a very solid of the female will be exhort in the other female

I mean after death after death there's a chance at the fairy female can come out and they can separate but at the insectoid female is strong enough then the other soul is almost probably permanently stuck in her and may need to be forcibly removed otherwise it's going to act as a nutrient source until it could be possible that the insect to a female will can completely dissolve and digest the other soul.

But never 100%.

Still my point here is this.

Or woman are women be damn brutal !

. . .

And this is why we have so many tests so many filters so many rigorous things a human female won't even take up someone a human female won't even take rejection you rejecting a female she's like bye I'll go f*** someone else

You would like the very female there is no rejection she will have you or she'll kill every God damn woman in the area just if she can't eat their flesh destroy rip it up and spread their blood around and prove that she is the most high there is no there is no limit

This is a fairy insectoid female brain not a human

Do not expect an alien to be human do not expect an alien to have human civil way's do not expect an alien to have human moral do not expect an alien to be human !

And yes all women eventually end up eating their males we did our job we served our hive we collect as much we could we fed the hive we gave as much knowledge as possible we lived our life we made it we made babies and then ultimately we get our holy death.

What is the holy sexual sacred death

I swear I give the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

[parksvn]

my soul chose yours (and a soul just doesn't forget that)

guard!Jinyoung x assassin!reader x king!Jaebum

wc: 3.6k+

you’re about to get the upper hand on a mission when things go horribly wrong. Jinyoung is there to pick up the pieces, but Jaebum always gets to be the hero that swoops in to save the day.

a/n: this could become a series, but idk. if it does become a series, the next parts may end up being shorter depending on how the storyline progresses.

The ground is cold and hard, pebbles press against your cheek and your skin burns as blood hisses against the concrete beneath your body.

You’d laugh but your core felt like a searing knife had been left in it, pulsating forceful energy through your blood, curdling every area into sap. The pain was excruciating and sent angry sparks down your spine. 

Since your face was contorted in a wicked display of agony, you settled on a smirk and tried to roll away from the boot you knew was coming for your back.

You weren’t fast enough, of course, but it was worth a shot.

Your body swung to the other side and a groan escaped your lips as you huddled into a fetal position, attempting to protect your broken body from the next attack. It wouldn’t matter, you knew that much, but trying was better than just accepting death.

“I’ve asked you once and I’ll ask you again,” your assailant spat, words colliding harshly with your sore ears. “Where is his vault? Who’s assassins were sent after me?”

You scoffed. As if you would ever indulge him in such royal secrets. You were directly connected to the king, his weapon and blade, his bullet whenever he decided to pull the trigger, but to this man, you were just an advisor. Just as to everyone else concerned with your “dealings with the court.”

You knew he was following you for a while before he made his move, crashing his car into yours and dragging you into a conveniently waiting van before dumping you on the side of the road. Of course, he wanted to know all of the king’s secrets; this man was the king’s prime target. He’s stolen more than his fair share of gold and jewels from everyday citizens.

His death was already coming. As of right now, he’s just running from destiny. 

And who’s to say that destiny wasn’t already staring him in the face, in the form of your oh so frail and weak body laying so helplessly on the ground.

Please.

“Oh, Marcus,” You grinned, teeth gleaming like fangs against the moonlight, face bloody and dirty like a warrior emerging victorious from battle. “You already know.”

His ferocity dialed down a moment as he registered the calm now taking over your features, how the pain originally displayed suddenly vanished into vapor, how your performance changed like shadows of the moon.

Then he jumped feet away from you, scrambling to rectify his mistake. 

You’d be gracious, as gracious as you could muster at the moment with a split lip, bruised jaw, three broken ribs, a slash across the back, and a knife in the thigh. It’d take a saint to forgive all of that and you weren’t necessarily the saint type, but exceptions can be made.

If the king still wanted him alive then you would leave him still breathing at least. No promises on his continued condition of life.

You slipped a dagger from your shoe, your torso sore in the process. As the flat of the blade pressed against your palm, hidden from his frightened eyes, you laid on the ground and waited, waited for him to start the babble in which he would try to bargain for his life.

It started with a few pleases, a few apologies, him saying how much his life was worth in gold or jewelry or cars or houses, how he’ll become a changed man, on how he would return everything and never steal again.

At this point, you sighed, not necessarily from his boring speech—you’d tuned that out minutes ago—but from the exertion you knew was coming. Getting off the ground was going to be…painful. Blood still seeped out of that knife wound in your thigh and if you took it out the bleeding would become a waterfall.

And besides the very obvious piece of metal shooting out of your black pants, your face began to throb and taking breaths began to hurt more than it did a few minutes ago. The adrenaline was beginning to fade along with the endorphins that took the edge off the pain.

Getting to Marcus, hurting him, even fighting him, was going to cause a lot of discomfort. It was going to suck and that’s why, as much as you had no problem maiming him, you were reluctant to get off the ground.

You put your fist, knuckle down, onto the ground, keeping the hand with the blade positioned behind you. On your good knee, you braced your weight, struggling to stand while keeping your injured leg as straight as possible to avoid more tears.

Wetness bloomed near your eyes but you fought it, holding onto the spikes of stabbing suffering shooting through your body. It was a rock to hold on to and a great motivator as you made it to your feet, making sure your mouth stayed clamped shut. 

No whimpers, no pain, no fear.

Marcus backed up, taking more steps until he was fully pressed against his car. The van that had originally dumped you there was long gone. 

It was just you and him now. 

You let the dagger fly, hitting him in the exact same spot that your own injury occurred. He cried out as he hit the ground, his hands shaking around where the dagger stuck out from his leg. “If you think that’s bad,” you pulled another knife from the back of your pants, “you should see what a broken rib feels like.” 

He whimpered against the car, “please, please.” In all honesty, the second blade was just for show. You weren’t going to do anything with it and you had already lost interest in beating him senseless as you were getting off the ground. Anything you really wanted to do required too much movement for the injuries you sustained. Keeping your voice steady through the pain was already a challenge.

You gritted your teeth as you hobbled closer, your stomach pulsating pain and your leg felt like fire and stone, hot and heavy. 

You stopped a few steps in front of him and looked down. “You will be found. No one will come to save you because everyone who could is already gone. Run all you want, hide all you want, but the crown already knows every move you will ever make, and, just when you think you’ve found freedom, you will be thrown in a cage.”

He cowered away from you, tilting his head downward, tears slipping down his cheeks. Marcus was weak. You always knew that even when you tailed him. 

You threw the dagger into his car door, so hard it stuck into the metal, so near his head that it almost took off some of his hair. He cried out.

You didn’t wait to see what he might say. You simply turned around and hobbled away as best you could, walking down the highway until you could find a car that could take you far away from here and as close to the palace as you could get. 

Your breaths were beginning to become harsh, angry spits of air and pain that could be heard within a few feet. They weren’t quiet; people would begin to understand how hard you were fighting for your life. 

It became pretty obvious that if you didn’t find a doctor or somebody soon, you would collapse into nothing, a heap on the ground withering in pain and waiting for the crows to circle in. 

Your teeth ground together as your determination kicked in. 

You wouldn’t die out here. 

In hindsight, you could have taken the man’s car, but you wanted him to be terrified of freedom, to feel like as much as he felt in control, he was just as much out of it.

You wanted the feeling to linger. Pain is only a motivator till it fades away, but fear follows everyone everywhere. There’s no safety in fear.

You started to move, willing your leg forward, just a little bit further and further and further until you would find someone who’d be willing to help you. Then it would all be over. Then you could rest.

Then you could finally feel— 

You only heard an echo of a shot before you felt it rip through your stomach. 

You paused.

Then, you collapsed onto the ground. 

Your stomach started burning, a little fire crawling through your abdomen, beginning to radiate outwards. You didn’t have to put your hands near your stomach to know that there would be blood, that it would slowly seep through your clothing and onto the ground before you died. 

Your cheek felt cold again, just as it did when you were beaten to the ground earlier.

How fitting.

How simply fitting that this would be how it all ended, exactly like it began.

You weren’t sorry, remorseful, or bitter. You did things your way, you’d lived the life that you wanted to live. You wouldn’t change a thing.

You lay there, gasping a little when the blood seeped through your lungs and into your windpipe, as you tasted iron on your tongue while you bit your cheek to stop from screaming. Someone would find the shooter eventually, but you wouldn’t be there to see it. 

Shame.

You laughed as your vision began to blur and as the world slowly slipped away.

…

Jinyoung found you after about two minutes. 

To say that he froze would be an understatement. He was in complete shock. It took him about another thirty seconds to get out of the car and run to you, the medical response team was already underway, flipping you over, trying to get a look at the injuries and damage.

He was still stuck. 

You didn’t look right. Everything about this was wrong. He’d just seen you, a couple of hours ago, chatting up the ambassador of France, looking glowing, radiant even.

In fact, Jinyoung was having trouble keeping his eyes off of you all night. Then again, that wasn’t out of the ordinary.

But to see you broken, unresponsive, bloody beyond all measure, that terrified him. His heart started beating again once he began to move and he only remembered to breathe after his throat began to burn.

But the burning intensified as he fought to keep everything at bay.

You knew this was going to happen, you’d phoned him telling him to start tracking your device, a small ring on your pinky finger, but he hadn’t realized that you were in this much trouble.

You’d never been this hurt, not in a million years. And as Jinyoung raced over to you, his anger began to rise along with an instinctive urge to never let you out of his sight again.

He dropped to his knees near your head, gently reaching out to cradle your neck in his hands, your hair fanning out over his thighs as he propped you up against him. He saw the swelling, the cuts, the scrapes on your cheek and then spared a glance to your body and saw silver emerging out of your clothes.

His anger rose, but also fear. He knew these injuries were serious and when he saw the vermillion color of blood staining your white shirt and dark-colored blazer, he wanted to cradle you closer, press his nose against your skin and transfer his energy to you.

He would accept losing you. Never.

“How bad?” He gritted through his teeth, trying to keep everything steady, everything locked in place. 

The nurse looked down, still trying to find the bullet with gloves and her tool. “Very bad.” She kept her tone neutral but he could see how hard she was fighting against her emotions too. You were always good to everyone you met and it made sense to see her upset. It made Jinyoung’s emotions magnify.

He swallowed the ball in his throat down, brushing the hair out of your face, taking a moment to be selfish with you. It was the only moment he allowed himself, before focusing back on the team. 

He took a sharp breath. They needed to move you, get you somewhere safe where real medical treatment could happen.

“I know what you want to ask, and the answer is shortly. We need to stop the bleeding and start a transfusion.” The nurse breathed out, the bullet caught between the metal of her tools. She turned and dropped it into a tray, exchanging the forceps for gauze. “Here.”

Jinyoung took the end of the gauze as she pulled and began to wrap it around your torso. “Mr. Park, would you lift, please?” She turned to her colleagues. “Moving.”

He grasped your shoulders, moving his palms to your back as pulled you upward, being as gentle as possible. Your face stopped near his chest, your nose pressed against his neck. 

He tried his best to ignore his desire to pull you even closer. 

The nurse began to wrap the gauze all around, pulling it taunt. You stirred, a moan escaping your mouth as your features contorted in discomfort. Jinyoung held you slightly tighter as he put a hand to your cheek. “(name)?”

You didn’t respond.

“(name)? We’re getting you somewhere safe. Just hold on, okay?” He only noticed how soft and pleading his voice was when the nurse turned to look at him with something like sympathy and understanding in her eyes.

She looked away and nodded. “We’re ready to move, Mr. Park.”

He nodded numbly as his hands held onto your shoulders. “Ready.”

The nurse began the count down and they picked you up, carrying you back to the car. 

He dimly remembers volunteering to sit with you in the back, too distracted with his fear of you slipping away before he gets to tell you everything. Your face is tilted up the sky and Jinyoung has his arm wrapped around your body, a hand stroking your hair as your head rests across his lap.

“Hold on,” He whispers. “Hold on.”

…

Jaebum shoved every bit of paper he could find off of his desk.

He was distraught. Fire coursed through his veins at the thought of someone hurting you, someone getting that close to killing you, and he couldn’t be there.

He couldn’t get to you, couldn’t protect you, couldn’t get anywhere close to saving you because of his damn meeting. And now you were barely holding onto life, being driven to the palace to be placed under intensive care.

He felt like a failure. He’d failed you. 

All because of his duty to the throne.

He crumpled to the floor, holding his head in his hands.

Indeed, heavy is the head that wears the crown.

…

“My king.” The servant bowed to Jaebum as he strode through the doors of the medical center, searching for you, needed to see you still breathing to calm himself down again. He’d tried to keep his pace steady but he didn’t care. It was you. It was you. “How may I be of service?”

“Where is Ambassador (last name)?” His eyes burned bright and he did his best to keep his emotions in check, a bit of irritation jumping out of his control.

The servant looked it up. “Room A5, I’ll escort you.”

Jaebum could only nod. He knew the escort wouldn’t be fast enough, but he agreed. It was better to appear as though everything was fine rather than alter the whole palace that something was amiss.

He tried to keep his breathing under control, his steps and gait contained to his normal stride. It was difficult and he fought every urge to sprint. Crescent-shaped imprints would linger on his palms.

“Here we are, your majesty.” He bowed before motioning him inside. 

It was chaos, absolute chaos. A flurry of bodies moved around and people were barking orders at each other. It took Jaebum several minutes before he found you and his knees nearly gave out at the sight of you.

You were attached to an oxygen tank, an IV, and a machine for blood transfer. Your face was maimed with cuts, swelling, injuries, and your clothes, your clothes. All of the blood. 

Jaebum almost ran over to you. Almost.

The only reason he didn’t was that there were too many witnesses, too many opportunities for gossip and rumors. He didn’t want that. Not for you, not right now.

He spotted his captain in the corner, eyes dead-looking, completely glazed over. Jaebum made his way over to his corner.

“Where?” He growled and Jinyoung took a moment to look up at his king before answering.

“Somewhere ten minutes from the mountains, along a twisted highway.” His voice sounded dead and his eyes were red. Jaebum studied him for a moment longer before watching you and your heartbeat. The rise and fall of your chest calming him down moment by moment. 

“Thank you.” Jaebum worked out without a hint of anger or sadness, just relief. 

Jinyoung’s eyes slid to his, alive with emotion for the first time since he walked into the room. His eyebrows scrunched with confusion. 

“For being there when I couldn’t.” Jinyoung’s gaze softened for a second before locking up, walls coming down. 

He could only nod before dissociating again. 

Jaebum sat there, standing by his friend, watching you fight for your life. 

A mantra, simple but heavy weighed on his mind, itching to shoot out to you.

Stay. Stay. Stay.

…

Your whole body hurt. The only that was safe to move without the desire to scream in pain was your neck as you assessed the state of your body.

It was quiet and the lights were dimmed. You took a breath, wincing. Those bruised ribs and bullet wound would make the next few weeks difficult, but you’d live to fight another day. 

You paused for a moment. How’d they find me? You thought back to the moment you’d fallen, trying to stretch into the future, waiting to find a few moments after. But there was nothing but black.

Sitting up was not an option in your condition, so you angled your neck to the side, opting to see something new, but someone was there.

You looked down, his face was pressed against your bed, his arms folded underneath his cheek.

You coughed lightly, hoping to gently stir them out of their sleep. When their eyes popped to yours, you knew immediately who it was.

You froze for a moment. “Your majesty.” You breathed.

“(name).” His eyes were just as wide as yours as he came out of his own slumber. “You’re awake. You’re okay.”

“Yeah.” You looked away from his direct stare, a jolt of heat jumping down your spine. “It takes a bit more than that to kill me.” You said it like you hadn’t considered your own death however long it was ago.

He looked sad. You were confused. Why was he even here in the first place. Did he have other duties to attend to than be here with you?

“I’m sorry.” He reached for your hand and held it within his own. Your breathing slowed down. “I failed you.”

“What do you mean?” You looked to find him hanging his head in sorrow, like a wounded puppy.

“I should have never have sent you there.” His eyes were on fire, rooting you into place, stopping your breathing so as not to stir the embers even more. “I never should have let you go by yourself.”

“We didn’t know. It’s okay.” You willed the fire to go away, hoping that your soothing tone would calm him down. “If I’d have known there were other operatives, I would have suggested another method. We made a mistake. It’s alright.”

He was quiet for several seconds. “You almost died. I almost lost you.” He brought your hand to his forehead. “I almost lost everything.”

Your free hand reached out to stroke his hair, your abdomen screaming at you. “I’m still here.”

Your heard his sniffles and your heart grew, a soft warmth moved through your chest. “Come here.” He looked to you with his bloodshot eyes and began moving, slipping off his boots, and slowly arranging himself on the bed next to you, placing his head atop yours, pulling you into him.

“Never again.” His voice was low and steady like he was speaking a vow that could never be broken.

You smirk, resting his chest against his beating heart, calming yourself down as you drifted off to sleep.

…

Jinyoung felt like he was stabbed through his chest.

He saw you two together. The king and his dagger. How perfect you fit together, how protectively he held you.

Maybe you liked the power, maybe there was a bond you two shared, but Jinyoung couldn’t help but believe that should have been him. It should have been you and him.

You both knew what it was like to be fashioned by steel, a weapon at someone else’s disposal. You’d confided in each other, trusted each other.

But you chose him and Jaebum knew it too. That’s why he hovered, always watching, always making sure you never got too close to him.

Always in the way.

His heart shattered, even more, when he saw the look of bliss as your face was buried into Jaebum’s chest, right near his neck, right where you were propped against him not six hours ago.

If only he’d waited in your room longer, if only he hadn’t traded with the king. Maybe, just maybe….

Jinyoung turned around and stalked away, too tired to pour over what-ifs, too tired to really care. If you wanted to fall for the king, who was he to stop you? 

He just wouldn’t watch you fall in love with someone that wasn’t him.

[socially-awkward-chocobo]

Ok, so, the Corrupt Hylia au

Okay, so, out of the four art posts I've made, two of them have been tagged with "Corrupt Hylia au." An au I haven't really talked about that much. I should probably fix that. (Definitely. I mean definitely) Prepare for an info-dump

The Corrupt Hylia au was created when I was reading a fanfic at the same time I saw a post about how Hylia's existence made everything black and white. Some details of it were on my mind and I thought, 'hmmm, the story is too black and white,' and thus an au where Hylia is a manipulative b-tch controlling everything for her perfect hero villain story was born. Fabricating a curse, creating villains, capturing a certain someone to be the hero's "test," all with the Sheikah (but not the Yiga. They defected for a reason and Hylia is half of it.) I'll explain the 5,000 yrs ago plot, since I have that figured out but not the actual plot. It’s gonna be long and under the cut for those interested.

During one of the loops, one where she's there physically to make sure everything stays on track, a Shadow escapes and finds the hero. Lies are revealed, and all goes well until a Sheikah goes there "searching" for the hero and they have to interact with Hylia. Anyways, anyone can tell there's something wrong with Hylia, including the princess. The (corrupt) goddess just has that offsetting aura around her. Link meets here and they formulate a plan when they know they aren't being listened to. Anyways, it takes two years but they get a lot of people on their side. (Ganon, Vaati, Ghirahim, the Twili, Rito, Zora, Goron, and Gerudo) Vaati and Zelda (who have become research buddies) devise a spell to remember past lives - and that's how they learned the curse was fake, because Hylia f-cked around with the first hero's memories a lot, and the spell undid it while keeping those fabricated memories. You may have noticed, but things are going too well.

Anyways, at a parade or festival for who knows what (certainly not me) the Sheikah - who were sharing "experimental" (read: tech they've been hogging) so even people who aren't there can watch it happening. This was all part of a plan made by the Sheikah because (somehow) replaced Ghirahim's earing with one that would mind control him. (think what happened to Ingo in OoT manga.) The plan was to control him and make him wreak havoc, make people not trust him, and by extension, Ganon. That doesn't work, because Link (and Shadow) manage to break the jewel. Hylia tries to do some sort of "what an evil barbaric individual" speech, but Link cuts her off and calls her out on her bullsh-t. Not just about the parade, but about everything - the fake curse, messing around with the first hero’s memories, creating villains for the hero and princess to defeat, having the Sheikah do dirty work in the shadows, manipulating a darkling for the sake of “testing” the hero, controlling the king’s free will - EVERYTHING. And remember those speakers and cameras the Sheikah were sharing? They broadcasted all of it to Hyrule. And because Link had always been a good person, helping people out of the kindness of his heart, a lot of people believed he was telling the truth. This is the start of the war.

The ruined parade is the battlefield, they win and push back Hylia this time because she was caught off guard. But now she knows what's happening, and she is p-ssed. After the start of the rebellion, it is the first time she infuses her magic with malice. A few more battles later, a major one at Korok Forest that gets the forest children involved, and the crew makes the decision to split the Triforce into eight pieces. Ganon, Zant, and Ghirahim each have 1/3 power, Zelda, Midna, and Vaati all have 1/3 wisdom, and Link and Shadow each have 1/2 courage. If Hylia wants the entire Triforce,  they're gonna make her chances of getting it as slim as possible.

One year into the war, and the scales haven't really tipped to either side. But Shadow (who was incapacitated and couldn't come out), Ganon, and Link were up against Hylia. Hylia uses an illusion on Link to make herself look like either a Marin or a past Zelda, and it makes Link freeze up and give Hylia a chance to attack and try to kill Link. Except that Ganon took the hit instead. Link snaps out of it, stuns Hylia, and tries retreating with Ganon. He doesn't get to Ghirahim in time, and so by the time Zelda can heal him, it's too late. With the demoralizing death of Ganon, things start to spiral downhill. Over the next three years they lost Vaati, Zant, and almost Midna. The only small victory that happened was Shadow breaking the mirror the Sheikah had forced bonded them to, and would mean that the Sheikah wouldn't be able to just count on Shadow stumbling out of there when he died anymore. (Shadow thought this meant his next death would be his last.)

Four more years after that, there are more fights and they get pushed back more and more. Somehow (haven't figured out how yet) they get in contact with the main three goddesses (Din, Nayru, Farore) and Hyrule will be sealed underground by them, Hylia with it. They know this won't be permanent, and hope it buys them enough time for the next reincarnation cycle to happen. As they leave, they're being followed by Hylia and the Sheikah. Link and Shadow make a decision to stay behind and make sure Hylia stays underground until the sealing. They know they're going to die doing this, but the worse they hurt Hylia, the longer it will take for her to break the seal.

The other leaders try to argue to let somebody else do it (mainly Zelda and Midna), but Link argues back that Hyrule needs their leaders, and Ghirahim made a promise to Ganon, one he can't keep if he's trapped or dead. So Zelda caves and creates a bow of light with enough charge for five arrows. The other leaders (and Ghira) all add some of their own magic to it, and Link and Shadow head off. The next part is going to be ripped directly from my notes because I'm lazy I don't know how else to phrase it.

Once they get to where the Sheikah are, Shadow immediately starts using the shadows to teleport and starts killing large amounts of them. Link kills whoever is foolish enough to attack him head-on swiftly with the Master Sword. They carve a path to Hylia.

The fight with Hylia is long and brutal. It is clear now that Hylia is using malice and is clearly affected by it. Malice-like pink is spreading on her along with one of her eyes becoming a malice eye. And it has not done anything for her sanity.

Hylia sends a lethal blast of light magic into Shadow and Link is covered in Malice injuries

Link gets separated from the Master Sword. Hylia is about to land the finishing blow on him when Shadow - who is currently dying btw - picks up the Master Sword (which is actively burning his hands and speeding up his death) and stabs her from behind. Shadow says something and Link uses the Light Bow. One shot in the head, one shot in the throat, one shot in the heart, one shot in the stomach, and one shot right on the master sword - which causes a beam affect that they learned about in one of the war’s earlier battles. Hylia isn’t dead, but she won’t be recovering for a while.

Link and Shadow share some final words before dying.

I still need to figure out the actual plot and stuff, but uh, if you read to the end, I hope you enjoyed! ^_^ 

(Ps: if there’s anything triggering or stuff, ask for me to tag and I will)

[standbi-ghost]

Guess I’ll Just kms

Words:  1812

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Suicide (technically), suicidal thoughts, panic attack

Go say hi on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27387829 

In order to go ghost, Danny has to kill himself. It isn’t that bad really, but when his mom finds a journal where he keeps track of the best ways to kill himself (which sounds sketch in and of itself) and thinks he’s suicidal, he has an important decision to make.

It was a grounding feeling; the cold touch of a knife pressed to his throat. What once would’ve frightened him to no end, was now becoming something of a constant in his otherwise chaotic life. He let the knife find its keep and in seconds, his Jugular vein was sliced.

As he let the all too familiar feeling of his ghostly transformation happen, he couldn’t help but chuckle at the ghastliness of his situation. Was this technically suicide? No, probably not, it’s not like he was actually dying, just, playing dead. Lots of animals do it in self-defense and this wasn’t that far off. Plus, Danny knew he didn’t want to die, or in his case, cease to exist, right?

Shaking the thoughts out of his head, he turned to see Skulker already in a fighting stance. He sighed and shot into the sky ready for the chase to begin.

-

At the cursed hour of 4 in the morning, Danny found himself sneaking into his own room. He flopped onto his mattress and let out a long, well-deserved mind you, groan.

He felt like he’d been run over by a car which was probably because that’s exactly what happened. Hey, to be fair, he had also been invisible. How was the poor driver supposed to know Danny was stupidly floating in the middle of the road? The driver was fine too, a little shaken up but he managed to phase him out of his car before any damage was done to him.

He lazily snaked his arm into his abandoned backpack and pulled out a dying black notebook barely holding itself together by a thread. There were rips, tears, and folds everywhere and a suspicious amount of green and brown stains were spattered throughout the pages. He liked to joke that it was his own personal Death Note except the only one doing any dying was him. It had started out as a way to record which death methods were quick and easiest, which were dramatic but efficient, which shouldn’t be tried again, but it had developed into a coping mechanism of sorts, some kind of morbid diary filled with a mixture rants and execution plans. He flipped to the next clean page and began to write his death-of-the-day and the events that followed.

A sinking calm settled into his core as he continued to rant about missing yet another test because of Skulker. He was halfway done with the entry when his eyes began to flutter closed, no longer being able to fight his body’s plea for rest.

He didn’t hear the soft creak of his door open, didn’t see the hand reach out and take his notebook, didn’t feel that same hand run itself through his hair, giving way for a pair of lips to kiss his forehead.

-

When his alarm went off at the usual 6 am it always did, he didn’t notice the suffocating stagnant air in the room, just stretched out his sore limbs, rubbed his eyes awake, and went on with his usual morning routine.

As he made his way downstairs, Danny made sure to annoyingly, as any younger sibling should, yell at his sister.

“Jazz I swear to the Ancients that if you try and leave without me again, I will piss your pants, you know I can’t be late again, Mr. Lancer-”

His voice trailed off when he took in the sight of his parents before him.

His dad was avoiding direct eye contact in the most obvious manner. His mom was wearing a watery smile, most likely trying to mask whatever had both his parents so tense. For a second, he panicked. Had they figured it out? What was it? Was it the mannerism, the eyes, the hair?

“Danny?”

He looked up from his panicked haze and saw concern plastered on both his parents’ faces. It looked wrong.

“Uh- where’s Jazz?” he asked, looking around in a last-ditch effort to crawl out from under their crushing gaze.

“Jazz left for school early today, something about a meeting with one of the counselors” his dad quietly responded, almost like he was tiptoeing around Danny, which set off all kinds of red flags.

For one it was hard to forget his dad could even be that subdued, the man practically radiated excitement. He also seemed, tired. Not the kind of tired you get after working at a lab all day, no, this was a soul-crushing tired, one that reflected inner turmoil. He looked away to catch his mom’s gaze only to look Danny in the eyes again, a forced smile finding its way on his face.

“Danny boy, we just wanted to talk to you about some- about how you’re doing.”

“I- uh, don’t know what you mean dad” he stuttered out.

“You’ve just been really closed off lately and, as your parents, we worry Danny.”

He turned his wide eyes towards his mother. Had he heard her right? They worried? Had he been worrying his parents? Was he a distraction? He was already indirectly messing with their inventions but now he was distracting them too. What kind of son-

“I’m fine. I mean, school’s been, uh- something, but I’ve been dealing- “

“Danny, are you suicidal?”

It came out as a whisper, but it echoed loudly in his head.

All he could do was stare, mouth agape, desperately trying to form words in his favor.

Heavy wasn’t the right word to describe the air in the room. Suffocating came closer. How was he even supposed to respond to that? If he told his parents the truth, they would hate him for keeping it a secret for so long. For lying to them, manipulating them, making a fool out of them. They would do much worse than dissect him, they would no longer see him as their son and that cut deeper than any scalpel could. On the other hand, if he lied and told them he was suicidal, they would ship him off to a loony bin. They would stuff him with pills and strip his mind away from him leaving him an empty husk of a person. And would it even be a lie? How many times had the thought crossed his mind? How many times had he begged for death at the end of an alleyway, at the bottom of a ditch, passed out at the foot of his bed, only to get up, dust off, and continue to live- no- to exist as a drone.

His breath began to pick up- could he even call it a breath? He knew if he didn’t say something, anything, his parents would come up with their own answer. What was the question again? Why couldn’t he think straight? He would lose any and all control he may have had. Was he in control? Why couldn’t he control his own body? His own mind? His thoughts were racing, and he was dragging behind them. Why was everything moving so fast? Why couldn’t he catch a break for once? He felt like a cornered animal, quite literally too. A feral growl crawled out of his throat as he backed himself into a wall, attempting to make himself look less pathetic. Attempting to make himself look like a threat. Maybe then they’ll go away. Maybe then he would stop hurting so much.

Don’t let them know you’re weak.

They’ll hurt you.

They won’t understand.

They’ll never love you.

How could they love you?

You-

“Danny”

And just like that, the fog dispersed and he was left stranded in the empty halls of his mind. He felt the cold wall behind him taunting him with its cold embrace.

“Danny it’s okay, you’re okay, breathe”

That was his mom’s voice. He felt the adrenaline seep out of him, embarrassment taking its place. That was all the confirmation they needed. He was fucked. No matter what they thought of him before, nothing could erase the scene he had just caused. Ancients he was fucked. What even was that? What normal person freaks out over a simple question?

He groaned as he let his face fall into the palm of his hands. He felt a wave of shame wash over him as his mom took him in her arms.

For a moment everything was back to normal. There was still tension in the air, but it all melted in the warm embrace of his mom.

“I found your notebook last night.”

And with that, it all made sense. He flinched out of her embrace and felt shame at seeing the hurt on her face the action caused. He couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped his chapped lips. Of course, the one escape he had was what had exposed him. It was naïve of him to think that no one would find the notebook he practically carried everywhere. Sooner or later this had been bound to happen, he just hoped it would be later. He had been careless and now he was paying for it.

“I guess I should come clean huh?” He would be lying if he said he wasn’t scared, terrified, but he couldn’t shake the possibility that maybe, maybe, his parents would support him, be there for him. The very thought left a warm feeling in him.

“It started a few weeks before Freshman year...”

And so, he let the dam break. 3 years filled with pain and fear poured out in a flurry of words. He found that, once he started, he couldn’t stop.

He couldn’t help but flinch as his dad reached out and took his small hands in his. He looked him dead in the eyes, searching for confirmation, that this was okay, and when Danny nodded, he pulled him into a bone-crushing hug, his mom following closely behind.

“Oh Danny, how could you not tell us?” his dad asked.

“We’re sorry for making you feel anything but loved and accepted. There is nothing you could do or become that could get rid of our love for you.”

So that’s how he found himself skipping school, in a cuddle pile with his parents, binge-watching Star Wars, Marvel movies, and the occasional Space Documentary.

And when Jazz got home after school that evening, she didn’t question the sight of her parents holding on to Danny for dear life in the middle of their living room, caught in a pile of pillows, blankets, and love, acceptance. She just smiled, shook her head, and made her way up the stairs.

She would have a talk with her brother about his mental health another time. Right now, she knew, everything would be okay.

“oh uh, you guys should probably stay far away from the red bulls in my room.”

“Wha- “

“I may or may not have filled them with arsenic...”

“Daniel James Fenton”

“It's death on the go!”

Everything would be okay.

[maybeimamuppet]

queen of hearts (part 1)

hi friends!! happy wednesday! did someone say royalty au?? no. but i wrote one anyone so here you are. this is my favorite thing i've written so far, but buckle up, it's a doozy.

trigger warnings for:

period-typical homophobia

mentioned child/domestic abuse

attempted r*pe/assault

graphic injury

and death!

if i missed any please let me know, that's entirely possible. also, if you're bothered by historical/medical inaccuracies, maybe skip this one. otherwise, please enjoy!

-

Once upon a time, there was a brave knight; who fought in many battles, vanquished terrible beasts, and could wield a sword like no other.

Her name was Janis.

Janis was an energetic child, bouncing off walls and ripping holes in dresses by the time she was two. By four, she had mastered the art of tree climbing, and by six she was a pro at arm wrestling.

Janis always knew she was different. She was never particularly interested in typically 'feminine' activities, and she felt a special distaste for boys. But girls, on the other hand. Girls were a different story.

When she was twelve, Janis worked for the George family, a rich family of noble blood, with rumored connections to the royal family. They had a daughter just a few months older than Janis herself, named Regina. Janis was a servant, but the two quickly became friends. And then, more than friends.

But it was too good to last. Regina's father caught the two girls holding hands one day, and gave Janis a lashing so severe she saw stars. He forbade Janis from ever seeing his daughter again, and marched her home by the ear.

Janis' parents were of a similar mindset. They gave her a single loaf of bread, and allowed her to keep the clothes on her back. With a final hug from her baby sister, Janis was disowned, never to see her family again.

She slept in a barn for a week, huddled up with a sheep for warmth. The farmer discovered her after a while and made her leave, but his wife took pity and gave her a hot dinner first.

For nearly a year, Janis slept outside the door to a tavern. She joined an underground fighting ring for money, and would occasionally make bets to earn more. As she continued, she realized she wasn't eating enough to maintain her strength.

So, Janis took up pickpocketing too. In less than a month, she had mastered the craft. She could steal the wallets of the strange men who passed her without a second glance on their way in to the tavern, take their money, and put the wallet back with the men none the wiser.

Until Ron Duvall came along. Janis could tell by his clothing that he had some sort of connection to the royal family. He must have a lot of money. She managed to steal the wallet and the money without him noticing, but she fumbled putting it back. He drew his sword and whirled around, threatening to slice her arms off at the elbow for daring to steal from him.

But upon turning, he came face to face with a young, severely malnourished girl, in tattered clothes several sizes too small and with wide, terrified eyes. He could tell by the way she was clutching the money that she was truly desperate for it. Something in his heart told him to help.

From that day, Janis had a new home. As it turned out, Ron Duvall was the captain of the royal guard. He had the highest position, and was the most trusted soldier in the ranks. Janis joined them, training alongside the other soldiers and living in the barracks.

She finally had clothes that fit, plenty of food, a warm bed. She met a boy named Damian after a month or so, a seamster around her age who worked in the castle. They became instant best friends, inseparable except to attend to their duties. Janis had a family, and didn't plan to let go.

—————

Janis is hacking at a straw man, poking holes in his torso and lopping little bits off. Out of her peripheral she spies Damian barreling towards her, which is slightly concerning.

"Janis! Janjan! Jan!" Damian calls as Janis slices the head off her dummy and sheathes her sword. She turns towards him as she wipes the sweat from her face.

"What's the matter? I never thought I'd see you run voluntarily," Janis comments.

"I take offense to that," Damian pants. "But the King and Queen have asked for you."

Janis whirls around from the trough of water she's scrubbing her face from. "Who wants me?"

"The King. And the Queen."

"That can't be good," Janis mumbles, color draining from her face. "What do they want with me?"

"They didn't say," Damian huffs, still trying to get his breath back. "But it can't be too bad or they would've sent a guard instead of someone like me."

Janis dunks her whole head in the tank quickly, pulling back out and walking briskly to her barrack. "Come on then."

Damian follows after her quickly, sitting on her bunk as she pulls her daily uniform from the trunk at her footboard.

"I will never understand why they put so many fucking buckles on this thing," Janis grumbles as she fastens on her blue and gold uniform jacket. She grabs a cloth from her trunk as well, scrubbing at her face harshly. "Can you plait my hair for me?"

Damian pulls her damp hair back, braiding it quickly down her back and tying it with a leather cord as she tugs on her boots and sheath again. "There."

"Thanks. I'll tell you what they say later, wish me luck. Love you," Janis says hastily, kissing his cheek and running towards the palace.

"Good luck, love you too," Damian calls after her.

-

The guards at the main gate snap to attention as Janis barrels up the high steps towards them, but relax slightly upon seeing that she's in the same uniform as them.

She stops just in front of them, panting slightly. "I have been requested by the King and Queen."

"What is your name, soldier?" One of them asks.

"Sarkisian, Janis."

"Come with me."

She follows after him, looking around in awe at the elaborate decor around her. She bumps into him outside the door to the throne room and earns herself a disapproving glare. He enters and announces her, so she puffs up her chest and follows him in.

The royals don't react, so she goes to the respectful distance and kneels before them. "Your Majesties."

"Stand, soldier," The Queen says. Janis does. "You are Sarkisian?"

"I am, Your Majesty," Janis replies politely, bowing her head respectfully.

"Duvall informs me you're his best fighter," The King says. "Is this true?"

"Um, I like to think so, Your Majesty. I have trained for years in both swordsmanship and archery," Janis responds. "But many of my fellow soldiers are likely as skilled as I."

"How old are you, soldier?" The Queen asks.

"Seventeen, Your Majesty," Janis says politely.

The King raises his eyebrows in surprise. "You are young to be so skilled."

"I am aware, Your Majesty. However, I have been training since I was thirteen. I fought in the war against Kingdom Sherwood when I was fifteen," Janis responds. "I am confident in my skills."

"And your family?" the Queen asks. Janis looks down.

"I was disowned at age twelve, Your Majesty," she murmurs, just loudly enough for them to hear. "I have not seen any of them since."

"Why?" the Queen asks suspiciously.

"Several reasons," Janis replies. She knows she can't reveal the true one.  "But mainly due to the fact that they were poor. They could not afford to house both me and my younger sister."

The King gives her a sympathetic glance, but Janis can't read the Queen.

"Please excuse us for a moment, soldier," the King says kindly. Janis bows, walking out of earshot and looking around in awe. There's several portraits decorating the walls, of the King and Queen, eventually with the Princess making an appearance. She grows older in every portrait, from a fiery haired infant to an impish looking child, to an elegant and refined looking young lady.

She can overhear bits and pieces of the conversation between the royals. "She's her age." "But she's a girl." "I'd feel better having a girl perform this task anyway."

Eventually, she's called back, bowing again.

"We have a position for you. Our daughter needs a personal guard, we think you would be best suited for the task," the King says.

Janis is stunned. "Me? I- Forgive me, Your Majesties, I'm-I'm honored, but... would you not rather have someone with more training guard the Princess?"

The Queen looks at the King meaningfully, as if agreeing with her, but the King shakes his head. "We trust Lord Duvall's judgement. If he recommends you, we trust him. It also helps you are close in age to Princess Cadence, and a female."

Janis thinks. "Thank you, Your Majesties, I'm honored, truly. I shall protect the Princess with my life."

The Queen looks slightly relieved at this. "You are dismissed, soldier. Guard, take this young lady to the Princess' quarters."

"Right away, Your Majesty."

Janis bows once more as she takes her leave, hustling after the large guard towards the Princess' wing of the palace. Eventually they reach one of the tallest doors Janis has ever seen, and the guard knocks politely on it.

A soft, melodic voice rings out from inside, sounding rather melancholy to Janis. "Come in."

The guard opens the door, gesturing for Janis to enter and following after her. A small figure is sat by the massive window, looking out over the gardens of the palace. She turns, and Janis has to withhold a gasp. Very few of the people outside the palace have ever actually seen the Princess, but she's absolutely beautiful.

Long auburn curls hang down her back to her waist, and she has gorgeous crystal blue doe eyes. Freckles are spattered all over her pale skin like stars in the night sky. She's in a long dress, pale blue in color with a skirt that brushes the floor.

"He-oh," the Princess stutters. "Hello. Forgive me, I... wasn't expecting a lady. Is this who they've chosen?"

"Yes, your Highness. Knight Sarkisian," the other guard says.

"Hm. Thank you, Mike, you may go now," the Princess says, looking Janis up and down. He bows politely and takes his leave. "What is your name?"

"Um, Janis Sarkisian, Your Highness. At your service," Janis replies, bowing awkwardly.

"Oh, god, please don't. It seems we'll be spending a fair bit of time together, there's no need for all the formalities," the Princess replies. "I detest them, anyway. Call me Cady."

"Yes, Your-uhm, Cady," Janis stutters as she rises back up. Cady chuckles.

"Have you been in the palace before, Janis?" Cady asks, opening the door and leading her down the hall.

"I have not, Y-Cady," Janis says. "It's magnificent."

"I'm glad you think so," Cady says with just a touch of sadness. "Tell me about yourself."

"I don't think there's really much to tell. I'm seventeen, was born in the slums. My family was poor, I started working as a house servant in the nicer part of town when I was six to support my family," Janis replies. Cady turns to look at her with wide eyes, as if she's hearing the most interesting, surprising thing she's ever heard.

"You began work when you were six years old?" She asks in shock.

Janis nods. "I didn't have a choice, it was either work or starve. I'm far from unique in that regard."

Cady looks at her sadly. "My apologies, I didn't mean to interrupt you. Please continue. If you wish to."

"Please don't apologize, Cady. Um, I continued work for several families until I was twelve. I was disowned, I slept in a barn until I was discovered and then started living outside a tavern. I competed in street fights for money for food, and sometimes pickpocketed if I didn't make enough in a day. I tried to steal from Ron, and nearly lost my hands for it," Janis chuckles. "But, he took pity on me and took me in. Taught me everything I know about the sword and bow. I rose quickly through the ranks, fought in the war. And now I'm here."

Cady freezes outside the door to their apparent destination, trying to take in everything she's just been told. "My goodness. The war was only finished two years ago, you couldn't have been more than-"

"Fifteen," Janis replies.

"Fifteen," Cady repeats hollowly. "You could've died, so young. And you lived on the streets for... how long?"

"A year or so, I didn't keep track exactly," Janis says. "Had other things on my mind."

Cady hums sadly. "Have you heard from your family at all?"

"Not since I was forced to leave, no," Janis replies. "But I've found people here that I consider closer family than they ever were."

"I'm glad for that," Cady says. "My apologies, if I'm prying. I just find the lives of others fascinating." She finally opens the doors they're in front of, revealing the massive gardens of the palace. "Walk with me, won't you?"

"Of course. Would you tell me about yourself, now? I feel I should know you, if I am to protect you," Janis replies. She's slightly on edge now that they're outside, but there are guards nearly everywhere and they're still walled in. She just needs a little extra caution.

"I'm not sure you'd find my life so interesting. It sounds so terribly dull in comparison to yours," Cady says, holding onto her arm with her right hand and holding her skirts with her left. "But very well. I am seventeen as well. I was born here, raised here. I am the only child, only heir to the throne. I've been stuck in classes on everything from medicine to diplomacy from the time I could speak."

Janis is slightly envious, but hides it and gestures for her to continue.

"I've almost never set foot outside the castle walls. Once a season we take the carriage through the villages, and every once in a while I sneak out to the stables. I've always loved animals," Cady says with a sigh. Janis gets the sense immediately that Cady is not as fortunate as she had thought. She seems... stuck, trapped. How sad.

"How do you sneak past all the guards?" Janis asks. "You must be like a spy."

Cady chuckles, coming to sit on the edge of a fountain. "The guards all let me go, and agree not to tell my parents so long as I have at least two of them to protect me on my way down. I'm not really sneaking around anyone but my parents."

"They don't let you go see the horses freely? How dangerous could that be?" Janis asks as she sits next to her.

"I've never done anything freely. I've always wished to see the town up close, or go through the woods, or walk down to speak to the soldiers training," Cady sighs. "But it's not safe. I'm the only heir, if something happens to me the whole kingdom of Evanston falls. I'll likely be kept in here the rest of my days."

"That sounds a rather miserable existence. I'm sorry," Janis says.

"Do not apologize, Janis, it's not as if you have any part in my entrapment here. And your life has been... much harder," Cady replies.

"That doesn't mean your life hasn't been hard too," Janis says. "They don't cancel out."

Cady looks at her thoughtfully. "I suppose not. You speak very eloquently for a guard, were you educated somewhere?"

Janis chuckles. "Not anywhere near what you're thinking. I had to learn to read and write for my job as a child, and I learned to add and subtract to make sure I had enough money. When I joined the guardhood I was trained in royal etiquette on the off chance I was ever required to serve inside the palace. That's about the extent of it."

"Oh. Well, lucky that you were trained then," Cady jokes weakly, but Janis still laughs. "Do you have any hobbies or interests? I don't know how much free time you have as a royal guard."

"Not much, I'll admit. I spend most of my time working on my fighting, keeping my strength up, things like that," Janis replies. "But I actually like art quite a bit. One of the ladies I worked for was kinder than the rest, an artist. She taught me a few things about painting and such, I always enjoyed that."

"That's lovely," Cady says, as if relieved Janis has something she can enjoy. "I never was much good at art. Do you have any works? I'd love to see them."

"I haven't been able to get much in the way of materials, but I have a tendency to doodle," Janis says. "I- wait, will I be moving into the palace?"

Cady giggles. "If you want this position, yes. You'll be living in the guards quarters outside my bedroom from now on."

"Oh. Then I suppose you'll see some little things I've done eventually," Janis replies. If Cady wanted into her own bedroom, she would have to pass through Janis' from now on. "What about you? Any interests I should know about?"

"Not really," Cady hums thoughtfully. "I always enjoyed my mathematics classes more than the others, and I love animals. I enjoy being outside more than anything, I do most of my work on the balconies and I walk outside at least once a day."

"I've never enjoyed being indoors either," Janis responds. "Mathematics, though, really? I never liked numbers."

"Yes, I never quite understood why. Numbers always just... made sense. Very little else does," Cady says, looking off into the distance. "Anyway. I suppose you want to know why I suddenly need a personal guard?"

Janis hadn't thought of that. The King and Queen obviously had personal guards, and there were many others stationed around the castle for their protection, but the Princess has never had one assigned just to her before. "Yes, I...yes."

Cady sighs heavily. "I come of age this winter, in February. I am to be married, but obviously have not had an opportunity to find a husband. My parents have decided to throw a festival and invite Princes from the neighboring kingdoms to come and compete for my hand in marriage."

"You don't sound pleased about this," Janis says. "Do you not wish to marry?"

"Not yet, and not like this," Cady replies. "But I must. Ten men are coming in January, just after the new year. I'll be married to one a week after my birthday."

"That's... awful," Janis says. "You're younger than I, you shouldn't be forced into a marriage yet if you don't wish to."

"It's how it must be done. To meet a husband on my own I would have to leave the palace, leave the kingdom, and talk with people outside. Since I can't do that, we must bring people from the outside, in. And hope for the best."

"So... my job is to keep you safe from a potential husband? What-why would they bring these men here if there's a chance they would do you harm?" Janis asks. None of this makes sense, so far.

Cady just sighs. "In theory, nothing should happen. These men are all royalty; trained in diplomacy and etiquette. They should all be perfect gentleman, and I'll take my pick. But there is always a chance one won't be. I've tried telling my parents we shouldn't do it this way. When I marry, I wish it to be for love. But they insist. The kingdom needs a royal family. I have to continue it, and soon."

"I'm sorry. I hope my position here won't be necessary, but I will protect you with my life if need be. And I hope you can find love with one of the suitors," Janis says. She suddenly feels lucky, not being born royal. She's had so much freedom that she took for granted.

"Thank you. I... I hope your position won't be needed either, but I'm glad to have met you," Cady says. "You've been through so much more in the same time as me. You have every right to hate me and yet you've been... kind. So far."

"I think I'll continue. You have been through things that commoners like me don't think about. You didn't ask to be born into your position, I don't hold your birth against you," Janis replies. "You have every right to treat me like a servant, but you have also been kind."

"Your job is to keep me alive, I think it's in my best interest to be kind," Cady jokes. "But thank you. I... I don't think I've ever had a friend before. I hope I can consider you to be one."

"Of course, Cady. I see no reason we shouldn't be," Janis says. "Being your friend sounds nice."

"I'm glad."

————-

Janis' birthday rolls around a few months later. Damian surprises her with a pastry he had snuck from the kitchens in the morning.

"Happy birthday, Janjan!" He whispers excitedly, since the Princess is still asleep.

"Thanks, D," she chuckles groggily, sitting up in her cot.

"You're welcome. I have to go, I can't be late for work or I'll be punished again, but I'll see you later," Damian says as he leaves. "I love you!"

"Love you too," Janis says as she nibbles at the pastry.

Cady enters a few minutes later, as Janis is getting dressed with her breakfast waiting on her pillow. Cady's braiding her hair over her shoulder as she heads down to breakfast with her family.

"Good morning, Janis," she says. "Did your friend bring you another pastry?" She points to her pillow as she finishes tying a ribbon around the end of her hair.

"Good morning, Cady. Yeah, um... today is my birthday," Janis explains. "He snuck me a special breakfast."

"It's your birthday? Why didn't you tell me?!" Cady asks as she comes to hug her tightly. Janis tenses slightly, they're not really supposed to be this intimate with the royals, but returns the affections after a second. "I have to get you a gift."

"No, Your-Cady. That's why I didn't tell anybody. It's just another day for me, I don't want a big deal made of it," Janis explains.

"Aww. Today should be special; you come of age today," Cady pouts. "And I've never had a friend's birthday to celebrate. Can I please get you a present?"

"I feel I came of age a long time ago, Princess. I suppose you can get me a gift, if you must," Janis begrudgingly allows. "Just nothing extravagant or expensive."

"Yay!" Cady squeals. "Oh, I'm late. I'll see you later, Janis! We'll do something special then. Happy birthday!"

"Okay, um. Thanks," Janis blinks. She had not expected Cady to be so excited.

She dons her uniform and heads down to her own breakfast with the rest of the guards. She sneaks a few extra apples, deciding to go see her horse, Pancakes.

On the way, she runs into Cady talking with a servant about something. The servant bows respectfully and heads for the main doors of the palace.

"Oh, Janis! Hi," Cady calls, making her way over to her. Janis is fascinated by the way Cady moves, every motion is somehow elegant. "Where are you going?"

"Um, the stables. Figured I'd take my horse around a little bit," Janis replies, trying to hide her sneaky fruit.

"I already saw them, Janis, you don't need to hide," Cady chuckles. "May I go with you?"

"Um... sure," Janis replies. "Follow me."

Cady does, running after Janis as she holds up her skirts. One of the guards at the main door gives the signal, and another pops around the corner to follow after them.

Janis holds the door for her when they reach the stables, heading to the stall in the far corner.

Cady smiles when she sees Janis' horse, taking one of the apples from Janis as a friendship offering. "This is yours? What's his name?"

"Pancakes," Janis mumbles sheepishly. "Don't laugh!"

"I'm sorry, that's just... really cute, I didn't expect it," Cady giggles, stroking his nose as he accepts the apple from her hand. "He's beautiful."

"Thanks. Trained him myself," Janis says. "Yeah, hi, stupid. Here's some breakfast."

"You trained him yourself? Wow," Cady says. "He's very docile."

"He's just lazy," Janis replies. "Do you-um... want to come? On the ride? I'm not leaving the grounds, if that other guard follows you'll be safe. And I have my sword and bow if anything should happen, god forbid."

Cady is nearly vibrating with excitement, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet before she throws herself at Janis. Maybe not every move is quite so elegant.

"Yes! Thank you! I've never-wait, I've never ridden a horse before. Is it scary?" Cady realizes suddenly.

"It might take a little getting used to. But if you get scared I'll just take you back," Janis replies, saddling Pancakes and kicking over a stool so Cady can clamber up. "After you, Princess."

"Thank you, my lady," Cady giggles, taking Janis' offered hand and wiggling her way onto the horse. "Wow, he really is calm. Sorry boy."

Her gown doesn't stretch enough to ride normally, so Cady rides side-saddle as Janis sits astride the horse behind her.

"Ready?" Janis asks before she starts him moving. Cady nods excitedly. Janis sets Pancakes off to a trot. Cady gives a frightened squeak and clings tightly to Janis, but once she gets used to the motion of it she starts laughing happily.

Janis holds Cady around the waist with one arm and the reins in her other hand, gradually picking up speed as they ride around the yard in a loop. Cady really seems to enjoy it, so Janis keeps going a little longer than she had planned before she rides them back to the enclosure.

She hops down and holds out a hand to help Cady off, removing everything from the horse and letting him wander to the trough for some water.

"Oh, Janis, that was wonderful. Thank you," Cady says happily, hugging her tightly. "I have a lesson now, but I'll meet you for tea once I finish. Hopefully Gretchen will be back with your gift by then." She shoots Janis a wink and turns back, running back to the castle.

"Fuck, this can't be happening again," Janis grumbles once Cady leaves, resting her forehead against the fence in exasperation. "I can't afford to fall in love with another girl."

-

Janis takes over for her substitute outside of Cady's study, where she's currently in a lesson on diplomacy and etiquette with foreign dignitaries.

Once the clock chimes the hour Cady comes rushing out, before she clocks Janis grinning at her and turns back around.

"Janis! Hi," She breathes. "I wasn't expecting you to be here. You could've taken the day off, you know."

"I have nothing else to be doing, Cady," Janis says.

"You could have spent the day with... oh, what is his name?" Cady huffs, pressing a hand to her forehead as she tries to remember.

"Damian, Princess?"

"Yes! You really must introduce me to him someday soon, I do much better with names when I have a face to match it to," Cady replies. "Couldn't you spend the day with him?"

"He has work to finish, but he promised to find me before dinner today. I may go with him then and get someone to cover my duties for a while, if I am excused," Janis says. "But I know he would love to make your acquaintance once he has the time to."

"I could have excused him from his duties for the day as well if you wished, Janis," Cady says gently. "I would like to dine with you alone, but I can give you a pass afterwards to spend the rest of the day with him, if you like?"

Janis thinks for a second. "That would be great, thank you, Cady."

"Of course. Come along now, I want to give you your gift," Cady says excitedly, grabbing Janis' hand and rushing through the corridors towards her bedroom.

"Are you not eating in the dining hall today, Princess?" Janis asks as she runs after her, still holding her hand.

"I want to give you your surprise first, Jay," Cady says. "But no. Let's eat in the gardens, today, it's lovely outside."

"Jay?" Janis asks. A nickname? She calls Cady 'Princess' as a cute joke, since Cady hates it. She hadn't expected Cady to return the favor.

"Oh, um... do you-do you not like it? I thought it was sweet," Cady says shyly. "I won't call you that if you don't like it."

"No! No, I like it, Princess. I just didn't expect it, is all," Janis says hastily.

"Oh! Okay then, Jay," Cady says with relief as she finally comes to a stop outside of the door. She peeks in first, squealing at whatever surprise she has prepared. "Close your eyes." She comes to cover Janis' eyes, guiding her into the guard's quarters. "Ready?"

Janis nods, so Cady removes her hands. Janis gasps happily at what she sees. Cady bought a very nice oil paint set, complete with several brushes of different sizes and shapes, canvases, and even an easel.

"You-you-this is for me?" Janis asks, trying not to cry.

"Of course. It's all yours," Cady says with a wide smile. "Go on, look closer."

"Thank you," Janis breathes as she runs a finger over the end of a brush. "This is... incredible, truly. I love it."

"I'm glad," Cady says. "But you have to paint me something with it. I don't mind what, but I want one of your paintings."

"Absolutely," Janis says, smiling as Cady wraps her in a hug. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Happy birthday. Now come on, join me for tea," Cady insists, grabbing her hand again.

"Yes, Princess."

————-

The holiday season comes and goes, followed by the New Year. Exactly a week later, Janis is standing beside Cady on a high balcony, watching ten ships make their way into the harbor.

The town below is bustling with activity, banners in the kingdom's colors decorate every lamp and wall as the villagers rush around in their cloaks to prepare. Cady looks at them with a sort of longing, leaning casually against the rail.

Eventually she gives a sigh, turning to go inside. "I have to be in the throne room to greet everyone, we should go."

Janis removes her own cloak and takes Cady's, hanging them to dry on a rack just inside the door before following her down. She's in her dress uniform for the special occasion, which somehow has even more buckles than her usual one. She had nearly missed breakfast trying to get it on.

Cady plops on her throne with a huff, sitting in a very unladylike slouch while they're alone. "Keep an eye on each one, and then you can tell me what you think of them once we're alone again tonight."

"Yes, Princess. Are you alright?" Janis asks, standing at attention next to her.

"Yes, everything's fine. I just am really not looking forward to this."

"I understand, Cady, but I'm here to protect you," Janis replies. "I'm sure they'll be perfectly kind gentlemen."

"Hmph. They'd better be," Cady huffs. She straightens and Janis kneels when her parents enter, both snapping to their proper positions.

Janis is bid to stand once the royals are all seated, looking very proper and with a hand on her sword sheath in case someone tries something on Cady.

She tries not to jump when some very loud horns blow, announcing the arrival of the first Prince. He's handsome, announcing his name as Jason. Janis doesn't like him but doesn't clock him as a threat.

As it turns out, Janis doesn't like any of the Princes. She can't tell if it's because her instincts are telling her they're dangerous or because she doesn't want anyone else to be with her Princess, but she's on her top form the whole time.

She feels a special distaste for the tenth Prince, Shane. He carries himself with a haughty air, coming to kiss Cady's hand with an arrogant smirk. Janis has to physically hold back a groan of disbelief.

Once introductions are held, the Princes are escorted to the courtyard and into carriages for a short tour of the local villages. Cady and her family eat dinner during the parade, and then Cady has the evening off as the King and Queen give a speech to the commonwealth in the plaza from the main balcony.

-

"So what did you think of them?" Cady asks as she brushes her hair out for the day. Janis technically isn't supposed to enter her room unless it's an emergency, but Cady usually asks for her company before they go to sleep.

"They were... fine, I suppose," Janis answers, trying to hide her true opinions. Speaking about royalty so freely is improper.

"You can be honest with me, Jay. Nobody else is here," Cady replies knowingly, looking at her in the mirror.

"Fine. They were all mediocre at best and I don't trust the last one." Janis says rapidly, making Cady laugh.

"Shane? What was the matter with him?" Cady asks. "I didn't like him, either, but he seemed fine."

"The way he carried himself, like he owned the whole place. He thinks he's elite," Janis replies. "He looked at you like a possession, not a person. That's not something that changes. He would own you, if you married him."

Cady looks slightly startled at that. "You gathered all that from, what, three minutes?"

"I learned how to read people very well, helps me perceive threats in a fight," Janis replies casually. "But really, if I'm allowed any input into your decision. Don't pick him. He's who I'm supposed to be protecting you from."

"Okay, I won't pick him, don't worry. Um... what did you think of me, when we met?" Cady asks gently, turning around in her seat.

Alarm bells go off in Janis' head, she can't reveal too much or risk being tossed away again. "Um... I thought you were very beautiful, and that you were almost too kind to be the Princess. And that there was a sort of sadness or longing to you beneath the surface."

Cady just blinks at her. "Wow. Well, thank you, for saying I'm beautiful and kind, I suppose."

"Cady, I meant no offense by-" Janis bursts out, worried she'd still managed to screw it up.

"I know, Jay, it's fine. I'm not offended. You're not wrong, I do have a sense of longing. But I'm sure you learned why, once we had a conversation," Cady replies. "Anyway. What about the rest of the Princes? I quite liked the third, Aaron?"

Janis tries to remember the rest of the men. "He was handsome, and I don't think he's a threat. But he didn't strike me as really wanting to be here, either."

Cady comes to sit on her bed, patting the spot next to her for Janis to join her. "I should keep you around more, if you're this good at assessing people. If he doesn't want to be here I suppose I shouldn't pick him."

"It's your choice, Princess. If you like him and can form a connection with him, then I'm sure he'll enjoy being here eventually. Who wouldn't? You're great company," Janis says.

"Thank you," Cady says softly. "You're good company too. Certainly much easier to talk to than these men will be."

"You'll do fine, Cady," Janis comforts. "I'm sure of it."

Cady looks at her strangely, as if realizing something, but doesn't say anything for a long moment. "Thank you, Jay. I'm glad I have you to speak with."

"Um, you're welcome, Cady," Janis says nervously. "Uh, goodnight!"

Cady looks confused, and almost sad that she has to go. "Goodnight, Janis. Sleep well."

—————-

There's only three rules that Cady has to follow for the festival. Number one, all ten Princes must stay for a minimum of a week. Number two, she must consider them all, no matter how much she wishes the festival wasn't happening in the first place. She has to spend a roughly equal amount of time with them throughout the event, and consider their interests and personalities. And finally, she must stay inside the grounds of the palace. The Princes are all allowed to leave so long as they have guards to accompany them, but Cady is still under lock and key.

Janis now spends practically every waking moment with Cady. She takes her breakfasts earlier so she can guard Cady during her morning lessons, and takes her lunch late so she can protect her while she spends the late mornings and early afternoons courting all the Princes. Unless one of them requests it, Cady still dines alone with her family for dinner, and Janis takes hers at the same time.

She's certainly not complaining about the extra time with Cady, but it feels like she's getting less. They're not really spending time together anymore, Janis is just... doing her job. Guarding Cady, keeping her safe as she chooses someone to marry. She liked it better before, when it felt more like they were just friends.

-

On the fourth day of the festival, Janis gets a slight panic. Cady really seems to like this Aaron fellow. Janis came to terms with the fact that she had fallen hard for Cady long ago. She hadn't quite yet come to terms with the fact that she was going to have to watch Cady fall in love with someone else.

At the very least, Aaron is kind. He's a shy individual, who treats Cady with respect and makes sure to indulge her interests. He'll make a fine husband, a fine king. And yet, Janis gets a burning sense that he doesn't want that. He seems to like Cady in return, but none of the romantic things they do together seem to get him interested any more than he was when he arrived. Janis is either going to have to watch her best friend and secret love marry this man, or console her when he inevitably leaves. Maybe both.

She's deep in thought as she follows them around the gardens, ignoring the pang in her chest when she remembers this is the first place she ever really got to know Cady. Janis walked with her first.

Janis did a lot of things first. But Cady does several with the Princes as well, leaving Janis to wonder how special those moments really were. Cady goes riding with Jason, strolling around with Aaron, and even talks about art, albeit very briefly, with Shane.

Janis notices that Aaron keeps looking to their left, and that the corners of his mouth tick up just a bit when he does. Cady doesn't notice, she's looking at the beautiful sky and listening to the birds as the two of them chat peacefully. Janis looks with Aaron on the fifth time his head turns and is shocked to find that he seems to be looking at none other than her best friend.

Damian is working in the sewing room, hemming garments and sketching new gowns for Cady. Wedding gowns, most probably. He also keeps glancing up at them through the window, grinning slightly when he sees Aaron. How odd.

Janis realizes she's been staring at him for a while when he smiles and waves, and she waves back quickly before rushing to catch up with Cady and Aaron, who have gotten quite a ways away from her.

-

Cady sighs contently as she gets herself ready for bed that night, dizzy and dreamy. Janis is tense as she stands by the door.

"God, Janis, Aaron is so sweet," Cady swoons. "He spent our whole walk today just asking about me. He really wants to know me as a person, it's so wonderful."

"It is, Princess, I'm glad you enjoy his company," Janis grits, trying to hide her seething jealousy. If this keeps up she'll be out of a job. Get it together. "He seems wonderful for you."

Cady picks up on her tension, looking at her oddly. "Are you alright, Jay?"

"Hm?" Janis hums. Shit. "Oh, I'm fine, Cady. Just... tired is all. Longer days now, and everything."

Cady, blessedly, realizes that it's not something Janis wants to talk about. She grins comfortingly at her. "Okay. You should go get some rest, then. You can have tomorrow off, if you need. Can't have you getting too tired on the job."

Janis chuckles. "That's true. Goodnight, Princess."

"Goodnight, Janis," Cady replies as she crawls into her bed.

—————-

Janis does end up taking the next day off, to try and clear her head of this swirling mess of emotions. She spends it harassing Damian instead, pestering him with questions about his crush on Aaron as he tries desperately to catch up on his tasks.

"You think he's cuuuuuuute," Janis teases when Damian flushes at the mention of Aaron. "Damie's in looooove."

"Would you shut up? I have several sharp needles here and your eyeballs are within my reach," Damian huffs. "And besides, you're not any better with the Princess."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Janis demands. "I'm-I'm just her guard. Maybe a friend, that's it!"

"But you want more," Damian teases as he sticks his needle in a pincushion. "I see the way you look at her. You love her."

"As a friend!"

"No, Jan," Damian sighs. "I can tell. You had to pick the Princess, huh?"

"I didn't mean to," Janis mumbles. "She's just so pretty! And she's so nice, like... unless she's in the throne room it doesn't even feel like she's royalty."

"I understand," Damian sighs sadly. "I wish things were different. For all of us."

"You have no idea," Janis sighs back. The clock chimes then, signaling Janis has to leave for dinner and get back to her duties. "I love you. Remember our pact."

Damian laughs. They'd both decided that if they hadn't found anyone they could marry by the time they were thirty, they'd marry each other for tax benefits. "I love you too. Come down here more, I never get to see you."

"I will, I promise. Once Cady is married I'll have more time," Janis says. "Goodnight."

"Night, Jan."

-

"So how was your day?" Cady asks as she chooses her nightgown for the evening. "Is Damian well?"

"Yeah, he's fine, thanks," Janis says distractedly. "It was nice, I suppose."

"Missed me too much?" Cady teases from behind her privacy screen. Janis tenses. "That was a joke, Jay, you can laugh."

Janis forces a chuckle. Cady has no idea. "Yes, you're right, I can't bear to be away."

"Good, I miss your company when you're away too," Cady responds. "You've known him since you came here, right?"

"Yeah, he and I met about a month after I joined the guard," Janis says with a fond smile. "He was sort of the first person to feel like family after I was disowned."

Cady sits next to her on her bed. "He sounds wonderful. Um... may I ask you something?"

"Um, yes," Janis says anxiously. If she's asking permission, it must be a deep sort of question. "Go ahead."

"Why were you disowned? You've told me it's because your parents couldn't afford you any longer," Cady asks gently. "But I refuse to believe a parent would send their own flesh and blood away with nothing more than one loaf of bread and the clothes on her back if that were the only reason."

Janis leaps up and presses her back against the wall defensively. "I can't tell you the true reason."

"Why not? You don't have to if it makes you uncomfortable, but I would never judge you," Cady says, looking at her sadly.

"It's not safe," Janis says hastily. "I would be... I would lose my position, maybe be exiled. Or worse."

"Is it that bad?" Cady asks, suddenly looking rather afraid of Janis. That's not what Janis wants, but she's desperately afraid to spill her secret. "Please, Jay, what happened to you?"

Janis supposes losing her position wouldn't be terrible. She doesn't want Cady to be scared of her, and maybe Cady can get someone better to guard her. It would help the crush go away, too. She takes a deep breath. "I... I fell in love."

"Oh. Why... why would they send you away for that?" Cady asks in confusion. "Come back, please."

Janis sits by her with a sigh. "I fell in love... with-with a girl. I've never felt anything for men."

"That's awful," Cady says. "Not that you fell in love," she amends hastily. "But you didn't deserve that. You didn't deserve any of that. You were a child."

"It would've happened at some point or another," Janis sighs in response. "They would have noticed I showed no interest in finding a husband. It probably would've been worse as I got older. I could adapt to life on the streets as a child."

Cady suddenly hugs her tightly. "I won't tell anyone else, you don't have to worry. You're staying here."

"But... why?" Janis stutters. "I'm, legally, a criminal, why would you allow me to stay? Aren't you worried I'd... corrupt you, or something?"

"Of course not," Cady chides. "I would never turn you away for something like this. I thought you had killed someone or something. Falling in love with a girl is fine, in my book. And I'm gonna be the Queen soon, my opinions are rather important." Cady decides not to tell Janis about the fact that she feels the same way sometimes. Not quite yet.

Janis chuckles. "Thanks, Cady. You're a good friend."

"You're even better," Cady says back, bumping their shoulders together. "The best first ever friend I could've asked for."

Janis grins at her. "I'm glad. You should rest, you have a long weekend ahead of you."

"Ugh, you're right," Cady groans at the reminder. She had to inform the Prince or Princes who would not be remaining by Sunday. "This is all so complicated."

"You'll figure it out," Janis says, squeezing her shoulders one last time before she stands to head into her own quarters. "Goodnight, Princess."

"Goodnight, Janis," Cady grins back. "Thank you."

Janis just salutes and heads into her room for bed.

—————-

Prince Shane continues to be a thorn in both of their sides. He gets his one on one time with Cady on Saturday, and spends no less than ten minutes complaining about how she had spent the week ignoring him. She hadn't, she had simply decided to give the Princes their allotted two hours with her in the same order they had arrived in. Shane just happened to be last.

Once their activity, a cooking lesson, is underway, Shane demands to know Janis' qualifications. It's clear that he thinks less of her abilities as a guard simply because she's a female. The absolute bastard. He rattles off questions for nearly the whole duration of his time with Cady, not even paying attention to the Princess or attempting to get to know her.

Janis chuckles as Cady adds entirely too much salt to their pie to get back at him, making Shane glare at her. She glares back, raising an eyebrow to dare him to try something.

Janis is tense as a brick wall by the time their pie is baked, waiting for him to taste it. He takes a large bite, while Cady barely gets a forkful. She grins coyly as he splutters at the salty taste.

"What did you do to it? Why is that so vile?" He demands. "You stupid woman, what did you do?"

"Back the fuck off," Janis growls when he grabs Cady's collar, reaching for her weapon. He glares at her, but does release Cady. She looks to Janis in thanks, her eyes wide in fear.

"Well, thank you for this, I had a lovely time," Cady says quietly and insincerely once she takes a deep breath. "If you would follow me to the main hall."

He does, with Janis between them in case he tries something again. He purposefully walks more quickly, bumping into Janis and stepping on her boots. Janis knows she can't stoop to his level, no matter how badly she wants to knock him to the ground and remove his tongue.

"Hello mother, hello father," Cady greets politely. "Mike, would you please gather the rest of the candidates here? I've made my first decisions."

"Right away, Your Highness," Mike says with a bow as he rushes out of the room. Cady goes to sit on her throne by her parents, leaving Shane to wait aimlessly in front of them.

In less than ten minutes, all nine of the other men are next to him, some looking more anxious than others at the prospect of going home. Cady takes a deep breath and stands.

"Hello, gentlemen," Cady greets, making them all finally shut up. "I'm sure you have been told, but I've gathered you here to inform you that I've made my first decision as to who will not be remaining in the competition for my hand."

The King nods approvingly behind her, proud of his daughter.

"The first and, as of yet, only Prince to be leaving us will be Prince Shane," Cady continues, prompting a dismayed gasp from him. "For truly deplorable and despicable behavior. The fact that you are handsome and from the kingdom of one of our best allies does not guarantee you a victory here. You have no right to speak to me, or any woman, for that matter, the way you have spoken to me. I pity your future spouse."

"Cadence!" The Queen chides.

"No, Betsy, let her speak," The King insists.

"As for the rest of you, please enjoy the weekend. You may feel free to explore the town or palace at your will. Our activities will resume on Monday," Cady concludes before she sits down and waves them all away. Shane glares at her and storms out of the room in a huff.

"Cadence, really, that was highly inappropriate," her mother scolds once the four of them are alone. "Whatever were you thinking?"

"He almost assaulted me," Cady says casually. "And called me a 'stupid woman', and was harassing Janis about her position, and demanded I spend more time with him than the other men, and told me to hold my tongue, and told me I should cover up more, and told me he would be under my skirts before too long. I think I was rather polite, actually."

The royals both look startled. "Cadence, why didn't you let us know earlier? We would have removed him right away!"

"It would have reflected poorly on us if I sent any of them away so soon," Cady replies. "The rule was a week. I stuck to it. May I please be excused now?"

"Yes, of course," The King says. The Queen still looks rather upset, but also nods. "Get some rest, dearest."

"I will, goodnight father," Cady says, hugging him gently. She begrudgingly hugs her mother as well after a moment's consideration. "Goodnight mother."

"Goodnight, Cadence."

————-

"God, why are men so dense?" Cady spits as soon as they're alone in her quarters again. Janis bursts out laughing.

"There's a reason I prefer the company of women, Princess," Janis giggles. "I suppose we'll never know."

Cady growls and starts pacing. "He was here to compete for my hand! In marriage! How does he think grabbing me that way and speaking to me so rudely was a good strategy? Of course I won't choose that!"

"I don't know, Princess," Janis says. "Are you alright? You looked frightened when he grabbed you."

"I... I was," Cady says quietly, stopping her movements. "I've never... nobody's ever touched me, that way. I was lucky you were there."

"I always will be," Janis replies gently. "Your father was right, you should get some rest. You have much to recover from."

"I suppose," Cady sighs. "Goodnight, Janis. Thank you."

"Goodnight, Cady. Anytime."

-

Janis stays up late to polish her things. She's about to turn in when she hears a scream come from Cady's quarters, the end muffled. She grabs her blade and hurries in, looking for her charge.

She finds her, pinned beneath Prince Shane, who has a hand held over her mouth and his pants down. Somehow he didn't hear Janis enter, allowing her to slam into him and knock him off of Cady.

He cries out in surprise as he's shoved to the floor, and again as Janis kicks him between the legs. "What the fuck were you doing to her?"

"That little slut doesn't even deserve me. Figured I'd at least get my chance before I'm done here, show her what she's missing," he snarls. Janis winds up and punches him between the eyes as hard as she can. He screams, "You fucking dyke!"

He punches back, nailing her left eye, and kicks her in the ribs. Janis thinks she hears a pop, and there's a sharp pain in her chest, but she ignores it. She lunges for him, pinning him on his stomach with his arms behind him. He squirms uselessly, she has him held.

The scuffle alerted the other guards, a few barreling into the room and observing their Princess, wide eyed and sobbing with fear on her bed, and Janis straddling a Prince with his pants around his ankles and his arms pinned behind him.

"Sarkisian, what is the meaning of this?" One of the other guards demands.

"This scum," Janis spits. "Tried to assault the Princess. Take him to the dungeons, let them deal with him until he's removed from the premises. And get someone to guard her window, from now on."

"Right away, soldier," he replies, grabbing Shane from the ground roughly and dragging him out the door.

"I was just trying to get what I deserve!" Shane calls as he's led down to the dungeon.

"You're getting it now, asstown. I hope you rot," Janis growls. Once they're alone she rushes over to the Princess. "Are you okay, Cady? Did he do anything?"

Cady shakes her head, but is still crying hysterically. Janis is familiar with the terror in her eyes, she's felt it herself. "H-he-he... wh-why?"

"Because he's a misogynistic piece of shit, Princess. No part of this is your fault," Janis insists. "Can I touch you?"

Cady nods desperately, reaching for her. Janis sits on the edge of her bed, grunting with pain slightly as Cady leaps into her embrace and sobs into her shoulder.

"Shh, he's gone. You're safe, I promise, I won't let anyone hurt you. I'm here, shh," Janis repeats, holding her close and letting her cry. Cady cries for a long time, weeping and whimpering into her shoulder. "Shh, you're okay now, I promise."

"He hit you," Cady sniffles once she's calmed down a bit. "Your eye."

"I'm fine, Princess, I'll deal with it in the morning," Janis says, but winces slightly as Cady brushes the area where he kicked her. Cady holds the hem of her shirt and looks at her, lifting it when Janis gives a begrudging nod.

"Oh, god, Janis," Cady sobs. "What did he do to you?"

"He kicked me, but please, Cady, don't worry. I've been hit harder, I'm fine," Janis replies.

"No, you're not," Cady sniffles. "Lie down, I'll be back in a moment."

"Cady, what-" Janis tries, but Cady pushes her down and runs from the room. She returns a few moments later with tears still pouring from her eyes, holding several bottles and cloths.

She wets one of the small cloths with cool water from the basin by her bed, wringing out the excess and pressing it gently to Janis' eye. Janis winces slightly but accepts it, holding it herself as Cady moves to her torso.

She presses around the already bruising area gently, pulling back abruptly when Janis gasps in pain.

"God, Janis, he broke a rib," She sobs again. "I'm so sorry."

"Princess, please, don't worry. I'll be okay," Janis comforts, stroking Cady's cheek.

Cady pours several of the bottles onto another much larger cloth, brushing it as gently as she can over the bruise before grabbing a dry one and helping Janis to sit upright. She wraps it tenderly around her torso to hold her ribs in place tightly, resting a hand on the uninjured side when she finishes.

"Thank you," Janis says quietly. "Are you okay?"

"No." Cady says bluntly. "I told my parents we shouldn't have done this. Look what happened. You could've been killed if he had a weapon. I was almost raped. I'm not going to be okay for a long time."

"I understand," Janis says, stroking a hand through her hair gently. "I've been there, too. But you're safe now. I've got another guard by your window now, there's no way for anyone to come in unless you want them to. And my injuries will heal, I don't want you worrying about me."

"How do you do it, Jay? How-how do you keep going, after everything?" Cady asks, lying down beside her and cuddling into her side. Janis tenses, if anyone were to walk in this would be difficult to explain.

"I don't know. I am affected by my past, more than I let on. But I just... remember the reasons I have to stick around, I guess," Janis responds as she pulls her closer.

"Like what?"

"Like... Damian. Who else would be his best friend, who else would steal extra pastries from the kitchen with him? Or like Pancakes, who else would take care of him, sneak him apples? Or... like you."

"Me?"

"Yeah. Who else would keep you safe, who else would have tea with you when you're alone, who else would chase you around the gardens? You're so dear to me. I shouldn't say so, I know, but I fear I've gotten rather attached to you," Janis replies. "Sometimes it's just the littlest reason that coaxes me to stay. Like, if I left I would never see the way you fidget with your hair when you read again."

"I do that?" Cady sniffles.

"Yeah. It's cute," Janis replies as she tries to sit up. "You'll find your own reasons to keep going, I promise."

Cady doesn't let her go. "Stay, please. I don't want to be alone tonight. Please?"

Janis looks at her. She can't resist, Cady still looks terrified. "Okay, sure. If you want me to stay."

Cady nods. Janis lies on her good side next to her, and Cady nuzzles into her chest gently. Janis instinctively pulls her closer as Cady tugs her soft blankets up around them.

"I'm cancelling the rest of the event. I'm done," Cady says, muffled by Janis' chest. "We'll throw another one later. My parents will agree, after tonight."

"Sounds like a plan, Princess. We'll let everyone know tomorrow," Janis replies. "Get some sleep, I'll keep you safe."

"Okay. Thank you, Jay," Cady says as she somehow presses closer.

"You're welcome," Janis says back. She waits for Cady's breathing to even out before she kisses her hair gently and whispers, "I love you."

————-

The men are all sent home over the following week, and none of them are allowed to see Cady. She needs time to heal and recover, so she spends most days on her balcony with Janis. Sometimes they play games. Cady teaches Janis how to play chess and Janis teaches Cady how to play cards. Other times they just talk. Janis reveals a bit more about her past, and lends an ear to Cady when she needs to vent.

Almost exactly a month later, Cady's birthday finally arrives. She and Janis have spent most of the month trying to think of something to do that would appease the commonwealth, since most everyone was looking forward to a royal wedding and sorely disappointed that there wasn't going to be one. Cady decided on a trip through the villages. Just her, and almost every guard in the palace.

Her parents approved the idea after several weeks of coaxing, and only because she would be bringing so many guards with her and because they knew the people were unhappy with Cady. The commonwealth hadn't been told the reason all the Princes were sent home, to respect her privacy.

Cady is particularly excited about this trip because she's allowed to leave her carriage, for once. Council appointed soldiers to search and guard vulnerable points at certain stops along their route. Cady would be allowed to stop and greet her people at these points.

"Jay, forgive me if this sounds rude," Cady says the night before they go as she's getting ready for bed.

"Oh goodness," Janis sighs jokingly from her perch on Cady's bed. "What is it?"

"You lived in the villages before you came here. What would... what should I do, when I speak to the people? To show them that I care, and such?" Cady asks gently.

"Oh. That's not rude at all, Princess," Janis says. "I can't speak for every single villager, but I would say just to be yourself. Be kind, try not to judge them. People like when you interact with children, and the poorer the kid is the better, I would say. Just talk to them like people."

"Be kind, talk to children, and treat them like people," Cady repeats. "That was my plan anyway, so I'm glad you think that's what I should do."

"I figured it would be, it's not like you to be haughty or anything," Janis replies. "Just try not to seem too... royal. I wouldn't do anything to remind them that you control the money and things, tomorrow should be happy, they don't need a reminder of that stuff."

"Okay, I can... I think I can do that, anyway," Cady says anxiously.

"You can. Just treat people like you did me when we first met and you'll be fine. The people adore you, nothing will happen," Janis comforts. "When I was out there I heard stories all the time from other kids who had family connected here. All anyone would talk about was how beautiful and smart and kind the Princess is. That hasn't changed."

"They speak about me?" Cady asks shyly. "So kindly? I thought they would hate me."

"Some probably do, but they won't make an effort to come see you if that's the case. Everyone who will be there tomorrow  adores you," Janis says with finality. The clock chimes midnight then. "Happy birthday, Princess."

Cady giggles and turns around in her chair. "Thank you, Janis. Where are you going?"

Janis is rooting through her quarters for the gift she's made. With a loud crash, she finds it buried under the mound of things under her bed. She comes back sheepishly holding the piece of canvas to her chest. "Um. Here."

Cady takes it gently and turns it around. She grins widely when she sees it's a landscape painting of the woods on the outskirts of the kingdom, bathed in snow. Janis even included Pancakes in the background. "Oh, Jay, this is beautiful! Did you do this?"

"Yeah. I was hoping it would be done by Yule but I couldn't go out to the woods very often, so it took a while," Janis says shyly.

"I love it, thank you," Cady says happily. "I'll hang it just here, I'll be able to see it every day." She holds it up just above her mirror. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, Princess," Janis says, blushing. She didn't think it was that good. "We should rest, you have an exciting day tomorrow."

Cady comes up to hug her tightly. "Goodnight, Janis."

Janis hugs back just as tight. "Goodnight, Cady."

-

The next morning, Janis is in her uniform and fed bright and early, sitting next to a very eager Cady in the royal carriage. Pancakes has also been given a special duty for the day. He's been trained to pull carts and plows over the last several months, so he gets to be part of the team pulling them along. He looks very dapper in his fancy bridle.

Cady squeals in shock when they set off, but recovers quickly and looks eagerly outside. Janis smiles at seeing how happy she is.

Her excitement only builds when they reach their first stop. The other guards have been walking along beside them to stop anyone rushing the carriage, but they sus out the crowd and eventually part to let Cady approach the people. Janis follows at a close distance, but lets Cady approach on her own.

They have a limited amount of time to spend at each stop, but Cady reaches to shake hands with as many people as she can and even holds short conversations with a few. Everyone is delighted to see her, as Janis predicted.

Each stop is similar, until the last. The guards do their usual check and part for Cady, but almost instantly they're yelling for her to get back. Cady looks around in shock briefly and Janis tenses, but it turns out to just be a stray child that broke past the barrier to see the Princess.

Cady gasps when the small form hits her leg, looking down to see a young girl in a patched dress and her face smudged with dirt. She waves her guards off and crouches down to her level.

"Hello, little one, what's your name?" Cady asks kindly, smiling when the girl stumbles to curtsy.

"My name is Evangeline!" the girl grins happily, showing off her missing teeth.

Cady smiles gently. "That's a lovely name. My name is Cadence. But my friends call me Cady."

"That's pretty too," Evangeline smiles. "Are you really the Princess?"

"I am," Cady chuckles. She points to the castle up at the top of the hill. "I live in the palace up there."

"Wow," Evangeline says in awe. "Your mommy and daddy are the King and Queen?"

"Yes, they are, you're very smart," Cady says. "Speaking of, where are your mommy and daddy? You seem to have broken away."

"They're over there, they wouldn't let me see you," Evangeline points as she pops up on her tippy toes to see. Cady looks and finds two terrified looking adults. "So I ran away."

"Well, I'm glad to speak to you, but you shouldn't run away, Evangeline," Cady says gently. "Come with me, introduce me to them."

She stands and takes the young girl's hand, who skips happily back to her parents. "Mommy, Daddy, this is the Princess! She's so pretty!"

"Your Highness, our deepest apologies, we never thought she would have run off like that," the mother apologizes as they both bow frantically.

"It's quite alright, we had a lovely chat," Cady says happily. "You have a beautiful child. Here you are, Evangeline. You should stay with your family from now on."

"Thank you, Your Highness," the father says. "Evan, give the Princess your gift, you mustn't forget."

"Oh!" Evangeline says suddenly, rooting through her pocket and pulling out a slightly crushed crocus. They're the national flower of Evanston, and Cady's personal favorite. "I picked this for you!"

Cady takes it gently with a quiet gasp. "Thank you, this is beautiful! I'll wear it here." She tucks the flower behind her ear so it pokes out from her hair. "Good?"

Evangeline nods with a grin. Cady crouches down again to hug her goodbye.

"Goodbye, little one, it was lovely to meet you," Cady says, squeezing her tightly.

"Goodbye, Princess," Evangeline says sadly. Cady stands and makes her way back to her guards as the family turns to leave. Cady and Evangeline wave goodbye one last time before the family is out of sight.

"That was precious," Janis chuckles when Cady comes back to her. "And she was lucky I saw she was a child in time, I nearly took her head off."

"Jay!" Cady chides in shock. "Don't you dare. She was lovely, so sweet."

"I'm kidding," Janis groans. "You should speak to more people if you wish, we're running out of time."

"This is the last stop, we can take a little while longer," Cady responds. "Come with me?"

Janis follows after her as she approaches the barrier again, greeting the people waiting there. Some offer small gifts, perfumes and flowers or baked goods. Cady takes them all with a thank you and makes light conversation with as many people as she can.

Gradually, the crowd starts to clear. Janis relaxes ever so slightly now that there's fewer people around them. Until she hears,

"Sic semper tyrannis!"