#except i’m actually still taking someone take me out bro

[platossoulmates]

i make myself giggle i’m not going to lie

[sowhat-whynot]

Boyfriend tag!

request: “maybe do our own version of doing his makeup like mandy did w martin?”

a/n: this request had a few ideas in one btw also this is my first lil story on here so go easy on me, queens.

bf!hamzah x fem reader

──★ ˙ ̟🐇 ꩜ .ᐟ

Being a youtuber was fun cuz you got to come up with your own ideas and no one could stop you so naturally, you wanted to piss Hamzah off a bit. You had asked him to come film a ‘boyfriend tag’ video with you but there was something he didn’t know…that you’d also be doing his makeup while answering questions.

filming…

“Hi loves! Welcome back to my channel today I have someone special with me, my boyfriend” you say excitedly.

“Hi everyone! I’m so pumped to be on here” Hamzah says, pumping his fist a little.

“Why dont you tell em what we’re doing today” you say with a smirk.

“She’s gonna give me that hawk tuah on cam!!” Hamzah giggles.

“Hamzah what the hell is wrong with you” you look at him in disgust.

“I’m sorry…so, we’re doing a boyfriend tag and this is basically for y/n’s viewers to kinda get to know me since I might pop into frame from time to time and then you guys are gonna comment ‘who is that fine sexy man in the background’ and you’ll know it’s me!” Hamzah explains.

“You explained that perfectly but I have a surprise for you” Hamzah look a bit confused.

“I’m gonna make you look beautiful and do your makeup, like I’ve always wanted to!!!”

“Are you serious” He stares at the camera.

“Yes, because one day Hamzah was watching me do my makeup and asked ‘how do ya know how to do that’ and today’s your lucky day, babe. You’re gonna find out” you explain.

“You know what whatever” Hamzah gave in.

-

You face towards your boyfriend to apply foundation with a brush while asking a few questions you came up with.

“Hamzah tell the viewers you name and birthday”

“Is this a joke?” He laughed, not believing that this was the whole point of the video.

“Just answer bruh. The viewers wanna know!” You say as you blend the foundation into his skin.

“Hi i’m Hamzah and i was born on March 5th, 2002”

“Ok, next question is ‘describe your high school self in 5 words’”

“Hot, cool, goofy, got bitches” He proudly answered.

“You know what..hell yeah! Except for the last one i know you got no girls and they probably all ran away from you boi”

“Next question, y/n”

You continued on with the question and you were the happiest girl alive giving your boyfriend the makeover of his life. You smiled while applying some of your pretty pink blush on his cheeks. You two got so distracted from goofing around it made it hard to take the youtube video seriously.

“No way it takes this long to apply all of this. You girls do this everyday??” He asked, appreciating your hard work.

“Yeah but honestly it’s not about how long it takes, it’s about how gorgeous you’re gonna look at the end. Like a pretty princess”

“Oh my god” Hamzah turns his head away from you.

“Look at me Hamzah i still have more questions” your hand reaches to his chin making him look at you.

“Next question is ‘do you remember our first date’” you ask while applying press powder on his face.

“Of course I do! It was a fun picnic date and I gave you a kitty plushy as a gift and we ate yummy food and I couldn’t take my eyes off you, i still can’t, you’re just so beautiful. Even the dress you wore. It’s forever engraved in my mind” His words are so genuine it makes your heart melt.

“Aww babe that’s actually so sweet i love you” you practically look at him with heart eyes.

“Okay is the makeup almost done i wanna see”

“You ruined the moment..yeah i just gonna curl your lashes and put on a lippie”

“I don’t know what you just said but please do it fast” he impatiently said.

“Hamzah don’t move your eye im gonna curl it”

“What da hell is that tool!” He yelled.

“Bro bear with me and do as i say” you gently clamped his lashes and apply mascara on him.

You added some finishing touches: eye glitter, eyeliner, and a glossy lip. You turn to the camera and giggle a bit.

“Is it bad? Can i see y/n! Stop laughing” Hamzah said.

“Guys i think i did a beautiful job. Look at it!!! The eyes are so cute” You grabbed the camera and did a close up shot.

You prop the camera back on the tripod and grabbed a mirror to reveal the final look to him.

“Okkk now look” You handed the mirror to Hamzah.

“Holy shit y/n…i look different” he gasps as he touches the eye makeup.

“You’re giving Hamzah Charles” you laughed.

“Honestly guys she did a good job and i think i’m into boys now” he said to the camera.

“Okay i’m ending this video” you quickly say.

You did your usual outro and Hamzah just smiled while you did so. You turned your camera off and giggled at Hamzah. He gave a confused laugh, not really sure what was so funny.

“Now we’re gonna do a photo shoot” you jump in excitement.

“Are you serious!”

──★ ˙ ̟🐇 ꩜ .ᐟ

Hope yall enjoyed hehehiehehe & keep requesting ideas 💕

[bearforcecaptions]

The spell worked, sort of, but not how I wanted. I did have the body of my dreams – I was Garrett now, but I didn’t realize the catch was that I wouldn’t be able to control what I’m doing unless I’m totally alone. And Garrett, or, me, I guess – I’m nearly never alone! The frat house pretty much always has someone in it, and I’m super popular, too. I thought being Garrett would be fun and easy, but stuck like this, it’s torture!

I figured out the ritual from this old book I found at that occult shop downtown, thinking it would be a quick way out of my boring life and into something… well, something way more interesting. Garrett had it all, or so I thought. Girls loved him, he was in the best shape, and everyone wanted to be his friend. But nobody told me about this weird restriction, or maybe I just didn’t read that part carefully enough. I guess the idea was I’d “experience” Garrett’s life, but it’s like watching a movie, except I’m the star and I can only move on my own terms when no one else is around.

And god, my roommate, he’s actually so stupid. When I can’t control my actions, we bro out all the time, but he’s so vapid. I guess I’m not much better, but it’s actually infuriating. You’d think we could have a conversation that’s not about girls, parties, sports, or video games. But no, every time he starts talking, it’s like Garrett’s body just falls right into the rhythm of it, responding automatically. I tried fighting it at first, but it’s like this autopilot takes over, and I’m just... stuck.

I’ve been scouring the room whenever I get a chance to control things, like right now, looking for any sign or clue on how to undo this. There has to be something I missed. I rummaged through his messy closet, which is packed with clothes, gym stuff, and random junk, none of it useful. The guy keeps his stuff in total chaos, and I feel weirdly exposed, like I’m actually pawing through my own things.

Shit, no, is that the door jangling? I thought I would have a couple of hours to try and figure out how to fix this. Who the hell knows when I’ll get another chan-

Fuuck, bro. Why’s my roomie home early? Thought he went to his ‘rents for the weekend. I was just about to jerk one out too. Ah well, maybe he’ll be down for some Call of Duty or something. I could use a beer.

“Yo, dude, what’s up? You back already?” I say, grinning like an idiot as I lean against the door frame, flexing a bit without even realizing it. Dude probably thinks I’m just chillin’, but nah, I’m feelin' like a boss.

He laughs, dropping his bag by the door and shrugging. “Yeah, man, got bored at home. Figured I’d head back early. Parents were driving me nuts.”

“Oh, for sure, dude,” I nod, grabbing a can of beer from the mini-fridge by my bed. “Parents, am I right? They just don’t get it, bro.” I crack it open, chugging half of it in one go, feeling the cool rush. Damn, that’s good.

He slaps my shoulder, laughing. “Dude, I swear, it’s like every time I go back, it’s the same speech about responsibility and blah blah blah. Like, whatever, right?”

“Oh, totally, man,” I laugh, shrugging it off. “Why they gotta be like that, y’know? We’re just out here living, they don’t get it.” I toss him a beer, feeling that chill vibe kickin’ in, like nothing in the world matters but just hanging with my bro. This is what it’s all about – no worries, no drama, just cold beers and good times.

“Bro, I’m feelin’ a COD sesh,” I say, grabbing the controller off the couch. “You down?”

He grins. “Hell yeah, let’s wreck some noobs.”

We crash down on the couch, controllers in hand, beers in easy reach, and it’s like all the worries in the world just melt away. I’m trash-talkin’, throwin’ down taunts, and we’re both laughing so hard my sides hurt. I don’t even remember the last time I felt this alive.

“You’re so bad, dude,” I laugh, jabbing him in the ribs as I get another kill. “How are you still this bad?”

“Shut up, bro!” he shoves me back, laughing too, and I’m grinning like an idiot.

Fuck, life is good, I think, as I take a gulp of my beer. I got my bros, I got my beer, and I got my games. What more does a dude need? Life’s good.

[cherrycokedup]

Bro what happened in the nevercord?? I am not a part of it but still curious

EDIT: please look at @thelesbomancer ‘s post/reblog, and @gothwineaunts ‘s post about this situation!

please defer to your own judgment when it comes to this, and don’t use my post as the end all be all! Those two posts have much more information on all of this! This post was made as this all unfolded and might be out of date (also turning off reblogs because i’m not an authority on this )

i'm gonna be careful not to name any names here because I don't want to start a hate train and I'm looking at all of this as neutral as possible and also please please please don't think of this like a call-out post or anything, it's not! I still think you can be a fan of rnf and support their work, this is just why I'm chosing to take a break from doing so!

Content Warning below for mentions of explicit content being sent to minors ( by a server member, not RnF, THANK GOD )

i don't have all the details but basically, someone was banned for sending heavy nsfw/pornographic images to minors, and then was unbanned later on because of two reasons

one: the children the images were sent too were banned from nevercord for varying reasons ( closest explanation I remember is about these kids doing witchhunts, whatever that means )

two: the evidence was apparently "unreliable" and heavily censored.

Also, the minors themselves didn't report this information, an adult did with screenshots, censoring the users of the kids.

The offending person claimed that they never knew the ages of the people talking to them and thought they were all adults, even though at least two victims from my knowledge have come forward and said the person did, in fact know their ages. The only age I've heard for sure was 12 years old.

My problem with the situation arised was when Red, the writer of Nevermore, posted a lengthy explanation that was pretty poorly worded. She used phrases about the situation, such as "egged on" or "cried wolf" about being sent this sexual content, saying it was the job of minors to stay safe on the internet. I was raising my eyebrow at that point, because the whole thing sounded rather victim-blamey.

Red then said that the evidence was faulty and suspicious for being heavily censored ( i don't know the full extent of the censoring ), and because of the fact it came from one person, an adult who was friends with some of the people who had been banned, implied reporting that behavior was all some sort of tatic to get one person they didn't like banned.

When a ton of people were (understandably, in my opinion) very upset by this response, including the victims, and other neutral parties, Red got very upset and started lashing out. I understand It had to be a stressful situation, having tons of people talking at you at once, but she started saying rather guilt tripping things, such as "I'm a horrible person then" "everything I do is actually for evil purposes", stuff along those lines. Admittedly, the situation was pretty upsetting to me, so once Red started saying those things I left. I might return to Nevermore one day, if there's signs of change and the like. I still deeply enjoy the comic, and the community! I don't think RnF are horrible people, I just think they worded this very poorly, and then continued to lash out when it didn't go as excepted lmao I'll grab some of the screenshots I took, and ask if my friends have any to add! If anyone else has anything to add about the situation, please do so in the notes or reblogs! I'm just saying my perspective here, and why I chose to leave! There might have been things I missed! screenshots below!

anyways, those are all the screenshots i have on haha, again for the millionth time I dont want this to become a massive big drama

[madockisser]

cardan/nicasia: why they’ll never happen again analysis/speculation

a while back i saw someone (or rather, a thread of ppl saying that they hope cardan and nicasia don’t get it on in the next book which is supposed to be nicasias book (supposedly) and i even saw someone say they WISH THEY DO ?!

so here’s your fun reminder of what nicasia put cardan through!

I’ve gathered together all the shit nicasia did to cardan: being the first girl he loved then breaking his heart w his friend, allowing cardan to catch them ON HIS BEDROOM FLOOR. (not entirely her fault but she totally had shits and giggles abt it when cardan confronted her) then when Locke screwed her over, she got CARDAN and his power as prince, to harass the girl(s) locke chose over her, one of which cardan liked, then later on was trying to manipulate him to marry her (which i think is when cardan realized they weren’t rly even friends anymore), THEN kidnapping and torturing the girl she knew cardan loved, AND befriending his abusive neglectful mother!

like damn. how u even fumble that bad, not just romantically but as a friend.

also I’d like to add her consistent entitlement, not just the whole “i bully girls bc I’m a princess and i can!” but the “cardan take me back even after i emotionally ruined you multiple times!” 😐

poor cardan

anyway, I’ve read lots of holly black books, and she is VERY mindful w abusive sort of relationships. and cheating relationships. she writes about them a LOT and each time they are pretty irredeemable.

note(the only exceptions):Taryn and hazel (darkest part of the forest) who sorta cheated on accident/ it wasn’t their fault-> but didn’t end well

add on note sorry: “but nicasia cheated on cardan on accident bc Locke was a gancanagh!” false! nicasia admitted that what her and Locke were doing was prolonged, the scene that cardan finds them is not their first time screwing around. nicasia KNOWINGLY cheated on cardan. then she was like “ok but i still care abt u! take me back” ?

now you can say that it could sorta be classified as an accident due to lockes natures (which are actually really disturbing if u think abt it) and that’s true, i never blamed nicasia for that relationship, but i do blame her for all the utter dogshit she not only put cardan thru, but Jude.

and this is cardan we are talking about. he who killed half an army for Jude when madoc tried taking his daughter back (sounds funny out of context).

we must remember that cardan does not want Jude hurt and humiliated and that’s exactly what nicasia went and did to Jude. through all the books bro. nicasia literally kidnapped and tortured Jude in the undersea so there’s 0 chance of cardan touching nicasia unless maybe to turn her into a tree again (but he can always just do that at a distance 😛)

anyway back to the cheating:

which is why i know that holly would never pull any sort of bull w cardan and nicasia, and you may be thinking (well that’s bullshit what do u know?) 3 separate books w cheating tropes, and 5+ diff relationships that involve cheating w no redemption. LOL

anyway black and i certainly agree on that front, and the way she uses the trope so consistently, and makes it so the cheaters are never endgame, or have a horrible death (Locke AND his mom, also Eva Duarte 😭the dude Ben dated from dpotf, and Kaye and that guy Janet was dating, Val and Tom and dave and lolli (modern faerie tales)) is pretty telling!

holly is great at writing healthy relationships, and she knows that tcp is her biggest hit w the media, so she won’t go and fuck that, not just bc she would never and it’s out of her writing style and character and literally moral compass when it comes to writing relationships, but also bc her publishers/editors would NEVER let that slide.

but i can’t wait for her book! i love knowing that nicasia will never have a chance w cardan again, it’s no less than what she deserves 😋

anyway sorry for ranting! I just feel so strongly abt this topic, cardan would never cheat on Jude, since he’s been cheated on before, and it was heart wrenching, and bc of his upbringing, he would never. if you haven’t, go thru my masterlist in my pinned and find the cardan /nicasia thing where i explain why he wouldn’t cheat far better there!

But feel free to add on, i probably missed a few things so lmk!! 🫶

[virq-qgo]

Can you give please do SFW and NSFW alphabet head canons for Logan (Wolverine)

Hi!! I am so sorry that it took me this long to finish..! I’ve actually never heard of alphabet head cannons so I had to find some templates and couldn’t find an SFW so please forgive me 🙁🙏 I would also like to apologize that I’m terrible at making head cannons, because I don’t have the mindset of that.. so this will probably be my first and last time I’ll do this 😞

Requests are still open ❤️

Warnings: smut, fem reader, my writing, not proof read obvi.. I also kinda rushed the end so I’m sorry 😢

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Very caring, now matter how old he is gets. Logan will make sure to give you the best treatment of your life. Literally the definition of princess treatment.

After getting the dick pounded out of you, with all of these marks on your poor worn out body. Logan will kiss each mark then pick you up and carry you to the bathroom. Like nobody talks about it so i fucking will, Logan will sit you on the toilet and make sure you piss. Why? Your handsome lover wants you to be healthy! No UTIs or yeast infection for the princess (speaking from experience.) Then you both will have a very relaxing shower together before cuddling in bed!

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Logans favorite part of his body will probably be his chest, mainly his abs. He knows how much you love them, and how much you like doing other things with them. Not to mention he works hard for his body to look the way it does, it’s something everyone should be proud of.

Now realistically, Logan will tell you that he loves every single inch of you. Yknow how you ask your parents who’s the favorite sibling, they’ll tell you they love each and single one of you, but make it so obvious that they favor the other one. Yeah, this is how it is. Except yknow he loves your hips. With the way he always grabs them, either from moving you to the side or moving you when your leg get to sore from riding him. Logan just loves how they feel in his hands.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

As a man would, Logan loves to fill your sweet pussy with his cum. And once in a while, cuming on your tits when he’s fucking his hand. But again, mainly you cunt. He’ll fill it up as much as he please and once you’re both finished, he loves to pull away and admire how much cum drips out of your hole and onto the bed. He loves his little stuffed donut.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Logan definitely fucked his hand when you were asleep, taking your dirty underwear from the floor and fucked that too. Not one of his proudest moments. But when your moaning his name and stirring in your sleep, he couldn’t help himself.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Bro is over 200 years old, please shoot me if you ever met someone who says that this man is a virgin. Because they are lying to you and themselves.

But that saying, in these 200 years, he’s had plenty of sexual partners. That means more experience and the better your pussy gets dicked down.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Logan loves when you’re on top of him. Why? Well, this is the perfect view for him. He loves the way your tits bounce and if you have small girls, he loves seeing them. He loves boobs, Logan is definitely a boob man! But he loves grabbing your hips and since he’s so much stronger than you, he moves your hips back and forth. Logan loves when your nails dig into his chest when you’re on top of him, and he LOVES watching your face while his dick is going deep into you.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He is not silly turning sex, Logan finds this time most serious. Durning these moments, he completely loses himself and only focuses on you and your pleasure. So really, he has no time for goofiness, and too him, any man who’s goofy durning sex. A time where you solely focus on your lover and their needs. Is not a man, but a boy. Because every woman who’s being intimate with a man deserves to be treated like a queen.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Now you see the mans face and head, it’s nothing but hair. The whole guy is hairy, and if you’re not into hairy men. Well Logan is not for you. He grooms his face and hair but leaves everything untouched because it’s just so unnecessary to him. That being said, he has never trimmed downstairs, and won’t plan to. Plus he knows how much you’re into that thick happy trail of his.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Logan during intimacy is very loving, he finds the moment where they’re but so vulnerable towards each other. Logan finds being intimate a very serious thing.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

If you aren’t around then yes, he needs to find a way to relieve his boner. Just the thought of you makes him so unbelievably hard. So when you’re away and he thinks of you, he can’t help himself. I like to believe that you guys have toys in the bedroom, so he definitely uses your vibrators to get done.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

So, bud definitely has a few!! Like I said in previous, he loves your boobs, that being said he’s definitely into Breast play. His hands will always be on your boobs, playing with your nipples, sucking on your nipples. Marking them up.

Another one Logan has is orgasm play, now I feel like that he will only do this when you’re not “behaving” such as making him jealous, purposefully pissing him off, yada yada you get the jist. Logan will make sure you sexy time is one of the most miserable times for you, basically saying that you don’t get to cum, he’ll drag it out on and on until he feels like you deserve it.

I am a firm believer that Logan will steal your panties from the night before. He knows where he threw them at while ripping them off you, he knows just how wet they were during that time. So obviously, he’s gonna use them to jerk himself off.

Finally, one of the last ones Logan has it’s degrading. Either he’s degrading or you, he’s so into it. Especially during a rough night, he loves to call you his dirty slut, his slutty little girl. The famous “you’re such a fucking cumslut, wanting me to always fill the tight pussy of yours up. Don’t worry, I’ll fill it up, so nice and full.”

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Whenever he gets hard, Logan will drag you to a closed off space and pull your pants to your to your knees, and push your panties to the side. He doesn’t care, he’ll take you right then and there. Logan is just always so horny for you, but can you blame him? His girlfriend is so fucking hot.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Boobs, your boobs to be exact.

Show a little bit of cleavage, well sister. You better be ready for the outcome. Logan will make it so obvious that he’s staring. It’s kinda embarrassing, especially when you’re around other people.

Another thing that gets him going is when you talk back to people, putting them in their place. He finds the bossy and demanding side of you so fucking sexy. He sometimes acts bratty just to see that side of you.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything that will physically harm you, he doesnt care if you’re into it. It’s a big no. He also won’t share, so no threesomes. He finds it’s disrespectful and a little hurtful that you’ll want another person into the game, making him think that he’s not giving you enough or not making you feel good.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Definitely depends on his mood or day.. but mainly I think he likes to focus on your pleasure, so he’ll definitely eat you out. Especially when he’s pissed off with something, he just wants to bury his head into your thighs and eat his meal.

But he also loves when you give him head, he asks for it almost all the time. It’s the best thing ever, just to feel how talented you are with your tongue and mouth.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Logan definitely goes fast and rough, it’s how you like it too. The both of you think it’s the best way to do it, especially since Logan has so much stamina and strength. The way his cock hits all the way back.

But of course, there are times where you guys take it slow. Showing to each other just how much you truly love one another.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He loves them, when you both are horny but don’t have the time to take your time. It’s super convenient. He doesn’t care where or what time it is, he will pull down your pants and fuck you.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

I don’t think he’s cares all too much about being risky. As long as he knows he’s in a spot with you that no one will see, you two will be fine.

You see, he doesn’t care if anyone saw him fucking you. He just knows that your worried people will see, so he takes cover for you.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Logan can probably go as many as five, I know once he fucks you till his balls are quite literally empty and can’t go anymore because he’s too sensitive. That’s when you take you chance because that when he’s gets all subby. Enjoy your time 😉

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Yes!! He loves using toys just to be mean to you, he knows your favorite vibrator, sets in on the highest setting and places it directly on your clit, enjoying the way your hips flinch back.

Logan also likes using toys on himself, especially fleshlights that feel exactly like you. Or using your vibrator on himself.

Overall, toys are a big yes!

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Logan loves to tease you, when it comes to public and barely touching you in your most sensitive areas or sending you dirty texts. (I am a firm believer that he would send you dick picks or send you pictures of his abs, flaunting the v-line you love so much.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

His sounds are quiet but loud enough for you to hear, he moans in your ear when he’s on top of you. Or when you’re on top of him, he lets out small quieter moans. Logan gets louder when he’s closing to cumming too.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Logan’s favorite outfit on you that will get him so unbelievably horny is a pair of sweats and a tight shirt. Gets him so hard, and an instant way to get nutted in.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Okay, let’s be so for real..

Logan ripped, we know what the v-line is like! We all know that he’s hairy downstairs, but you don’t care. Because all what matters is that dick serves you good.

Logan is more of a grower than a shower. When he’s hard, he grows to be 7 to 8 inches. He’s not that thick, but big enough to stretch that pussy out!

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

I guess it all depends on his mood and how he feels. Logan overall can have sex anytime he wants. He’s your horndog after all.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards

He’s not that quick to fall asleep, he’ll stay in bed with you while you both cuddle each other and chat. After sex, the both of you take your time lay down and relax, feeling each others skin and heartbeat. This is a very relaxing time together.

[sanjoongie]

ᆞAᆞᆞlᆞᆞpᆞᆞhᆞᆞaᆞ

ღ @pirateeznet 2nd anniversary Fic~

ღGenre chosen: sci-fi, with prompt: a lab-engineered [unspecified] has broken out of the lab, and you/a member find you/a member hiding in an alley

ღPairing: Scientist! Jeong Yunho x Hyena Hybrid! Reader (f)

ღGenre: smut

ღau: sci fi, hybrid

ღtrope: s2l

ღword count: 2,698

ღsummary: when yunho gets fired from his big corporation job as a scientist, on his way out, he finds you in an alleyway and brings you home. what he doesn't see coming is exactly how much more of the animalistic side of you there is...

ღspecial thanks to @downtoamagicalland & @mejuii for helping me iron some details out

ღsmut warnings below cut!!

ღwarnings: toxic male moment!, futa, dom! Reader, sub! Yunho, oral (f), fingering (f), cock stepping, degradation, Mommy nickname (f), baby boy nickname (yunho), praise kink, degradation kink, orgasm denial

ღmood board inspiration by daeeun @daemour for inspiration:

Yunho was having an absolute shit day.

Yunho worked in a top-class, corporate funded lab. The problem was that he was stuffed into an absolutely useless department. What the fuck was Developmental Analysis anyways? So Yunho felt like his academic mind was rotting away in a basement suite.

So what if he drank sometimes at work? It was boring. He didn’t actually do anything. He could be studying and breaking down genetic makeup, but noooooo he just filled charts and wrote up papers that he was pretty sure weren’t getting read.

His boss, some frou-frou higher up that probably didn’t know the difference between an atom and an apple, looked at him distastefully from across their desk.

“I’m sorry to inform you, but we’re letting you go.” Except for this man, Yunho squinted at the name plate at the desk, Park Seonghwa? Yeah, this guy didn’t look sorry at all.

“Here’s a box to put your things in and leave the premises immediately. I’ll have Jongho escort you for old times' sake.” Seonghwa put on the most half-assed sympathetic smile and then waved his hands to show he was finished with Yunho.

Yunho hiccupped while he put his framed text photo of Every disaster movie starts with the government ignoring a scientist that his best friend Mingi had bought him when he first got the job. Yunho didn’t need this job. This job needed him! Yunho sent a glare around at the open concept office, and everyone ducked their heads.

“C’mon, Yunho.” Jongho gripped his upper arm rather roughly. “This hurts me more than it hurts you, big guy.”

“I’m the one that got fired. How are you hurting more than me?!” Yunho pointed out but nonetheless grabbed his box and let Jongho tug him towards the elevator.

Jongho turned his head away and, with his free hand, wiped a finger at his eyelashes. “You’ve the best work friend I’ve had, Yunho.”

Yunho rolled his eyes and dropped his jaw, making a face. He was so over this place.

Jongho didn’t let go of his arm, even as they reached the rotating doors to the upper level. “Seonghwa says I’ve got to take your lab coat too, Yunho.”

Yunho sent a look of disbelief at the security guard. “I paid for this out of my own pocket!”

Jongho shrugged his shoulders. “They’ll remove the charge from your severance pay anyways, bro. Just do it.”

Yunho squared his shoulders stubbornly. “I may be fired, but I’m still a scientist. They can’t take that away from me.” And with that final sentence, Yunho twirled around on his heel to leave. He overestimated and did an extra half twirl, facing the wrong way to leave. He put his converse-covered feet in front of each other, heavily crossing his legs, but eventually, he made his way out of the building forever.

“Stupid corporate bigwigs,” Yunho mumbled under his breath.

Where did he park his car again? Yunho instinctively turned down an alley. He was pretty sure he jaunted down it on his way to work this morning. Who fires someone on a Monday anyway?

Something pushed a can into the middle of the alley, and Yunho stopped. No object moved without a force behind it. Was it an alley cat or a homeless person?

Yunho started to dig into his box. “Uhhhh, if you want something of worth, I suppose this pen might be good for a few bucks at the local pawn shop, but I can’t make any promises,” Yunho muttered.

“Help…me…” A raspy voice says from behind some garbage bags.

Yunho took a step back from the rustling bags. “Listen, you don’t want a piece of this, buddy.” Yunho dropped his box and brandished his old letter opener.

“...please…”

Yunho grabbed his phone from his back pocket and turned on the flashlight. You blinked up at him, dark eyes reflecting back the light. Yunho shook his head. Didn’t only nocturnal animals have that feature?

“Who are you?”

You whined, hands in between your legs, that sprawled out on either side of you. “...I…escaped.”

“Me too! I’m so glad I never have to go back to that place. You know what? We should celebrate! At my place.” Yunho pulled his flask from his box. “I’ve got more where this came from!”

As it turned out, Yunho’s car had gotten impounded from its less than auspicious parking spot in front of a computer café. Yunho lugged his box to the nearest bus and paid for both your fares.

“A little early for Halloween, isn’t it?” The bus driver shouted.

Yunho pouted as he sat down on the bus. “I’m a real scientific man!”

You hesitated at the front, arms wrapped around your body. Yunho patted the seat beside him, and you scurried over. You tucked yourself into his frame and shivered. Yunho instinctively put his arm around your shaking shoulders.

“Hey hey.” Yunho patted your shoulder in reassurance. “We’re better than that place! There's no need to cry.”

Yunho stumbled off the bus steps, missing his bus stop by several stops later. But that was okay. Because he had his flask and he had you now as company.

“So, what do you go by, fellow escapee?” Yunho giggled, tipping his head back and taking a shot of his whiskey.

“Fi--”

Yunho hiccupped, interrupting you. “Fi, huh? That’s cute. I’m Yunho.”

“Yu--” Yunho shoved the flask at you. “Yu?”

“Yuyu!” Yunho giggled again. His nose and ears were red. “I love it. Yuyu and Fi!”

You sniffed the flask and then growled at it. Yunho shrugged and took the flask from you. “More for me then!”

How Yunho managed to drink, balance his box, and make it back to his apartment is a mystery, but the fired scientist does, in fact, do everything AND unlock the door to his place.

“You stay as loooooong as you want,” Yunho says, throwing his hands up in the air. “I’ll never kick you out. I’m not mean like that horrible place.”

“I--” You take a long look at the bachelor pad. “Do you live alone?”

“I used to have a roommate, but he got a girlfriend.” Yunho rolled his eyes. He landed on his couch pretty heavily with a huff. “San, the romantic.”

You tug on the beanie over your head and the long jacket over you. Yunho squinted at you. Did you have those on earlier? What did he care? “Make yourself at home.”

Yunho spent the rest of the night drinking any liquor he could get his hands on. He bitched and whined and complained about his job and his place of work. You listened to him, preferring his babble to the thoughts in your own head.

Eventually, Yunho laid down on the couch, mumbling under his breath about the idiocy of the 1%, arm outstretched to the floor. Tentatively, from your position on the floor along him, you reached your hand to brush your fingers to his.

“You and me, kid,” Yunho grunted from under his breath. “We’re gonna take over the world.” His fingers curled into yours before you both fell asleep.

When Yunho woke up, he groaned, slapping a hand to his forehead. “Oh fuck.”

The toilet flushed, and then you came out of his bathroom. Yunho was too busy rubbing sleep from his eyes. “I need water,” he noted to himself.

“I hope you don’t mind,” you said sweetly, “My clothes were…dirty--”

Yunho shouted and jumped on his couch. “What the fuck?”

You winced. “I’m sorry, I’ll take the clothes off immediately!”

Your hands grabbed the hem of Yunho’s t-shirt and began to yank it off. Yunho’s eyes ran over your soft thighs, your tummy, your underboob and then covered his eyes. “No no, it’s quite alright, you can wear it!”

You chewed your bottom lip nervously. “You don’t remember last night, do you?”

“Well, by the way I’m fighting nausea, and a half naked woman is coming out of my bathroom, I can make assumptions.”

You shook your head vehemently. “I knew this was a bad idea.”

“Bad idea to fuck me? I’m sure others told me I'm better when I’m drunk…” Yunho scratched the back of his head in confusion.

You whined in the back of your throat. “You didn’t fuck me, Yunho. You helped me escape.”

Yunho chuckled dryly. “Oh right,” he said mirthlessly, “I got fired.”

“I really appreciate what you’ve done,” you said in a worried tone. “Not a lot of people would have stuck their necks out for me.”

Yunho waved his hand. “It’s nothing, Fi…” Whatever else was going to come out of his mouth was gone as you pulled your yellow tail around your body and anxiously pulled at some black hair at the tip.

“Oh, I’ve fucked up.”

“Please, Yunho, don’t kick me out,” you begged immediately. “You said you’d never kick me out last night!”

“I also said I’d solve the majority of Einstein’s theories!” Yunho yelled back.

You winced, curling your shoulders forward to make yourself smaller. “Please,” you whimpered.

Yunho zoned in on the black tipped yellow ears on your head. Oh he was so fucked. He had heard rumors about the Genetic Experimentation level, but he just thought it was other scientists razzing him.

Adrenaline rushed through Yunho. He grabbed your arm roughly, akin to the way Jongho escorted you out of his old work and started towards the door. “I’m taking you back before I get sued. What the fuck was I thinking? A million dollar investment in my apartment? I’ll tell them I found you and I brought you back as soon as I could!”

“No, you can’t!” You struggled in Yunho’s grip, digging your feet in, but still the man pulled you to his door.

“The hell I can’t!” Yunho snapped. “This is my house and my life. You will listen to me.”

Something snapped in you. No one ever out ranked you. You were the strongest, the fastest, the better one in this situation. Who the fuck was Yunho to tell you what to do???

You growled, deep in your chest, and planted your feet. You broke the grip. Yunho had you by hitting his hand off you with your fist. Yunho yelled in surprise and held his wrist to his chest. You placed two hands on Yunho’s shoulders and dug your fingers in cruelly to his neck muscles. Yunho whimpered and was driven to his knees. “You weak-minded man,” you sneered.

“Weak minded?!” Yunho gulped as he stared up at you.

“You are below me in every single fucking way,” You spat. “How dare you try to evict me when you promised me safety. Are you that scared of the world that you can’t stand for your own words? Pathetic.”

Yunho licked his lips. What is going on right now? What happened to the pleading woman who he could have sworn was smaller than him just a few minutes ago.

“I’ll show you who’s boss, little man,” you threatened.

Yunho watched with fascination as something rose from under his t-shirt that you still had on. “I bet you’ve never seen a clit as big as mine, huh, sissy boy?”

“clit?” Yunho’s eyebrows shot into his fringe.

“Wanna see?” You said practically giddily.

Science made Yunho nod his head.

You tucked your fingers into the waistband of your panties and tugged them down your legs, and neatly stepped out of them. Then you raised the t-shirt to reveal that your clit had indeed engorged itself until the point where it appeared like a… Yunho’s eyes became as big as saucers.

“I… You have a cock…” Yunho whispered almost reverently.

You shook your head. “No, sweetums, that’s my clit. It’s ten times more sensitive than your pathetic cock.”

“How sensitive?” Yunho asked.

“Why don’t you suck it and find out,” You said sweetly.

Yunho nodded his head to himself. His mouth was watering. Something about your domineering attitude was honestly luring him in. He wanted to wrap his lips around your clit. He wanted to feel what you felt like in his mouth. And most of all, he wanted your approval all of a sudden. What would it take?

“There’s a good boy,” you cooed as Yunho licked the tip of your clitoris.

His eyes glanced upwards to your encouraging, smiling face and then his lips encompassed the head of your engorged clit. He sucked on it and it caused your head to cast backwards. “Fuck, Yunho, that feels amazing, baby.”

Yunho looked nervous as he bobbed his head down your length, gagging as you hit the back of his throat. Except that it felt wonderful and you needed more of it.

“Drop your jaw, sweetums,” you cooed some more. “Let Mommy fuck your throat, hmm?”

Yunho managed a tiny squeak in agreement and then you were shoving your clit down his throat. Yunho moaned in between breaths, your slick-covered clit gliding over his tongue and down his throat. Being used like this was making him hard.

“What's this?” You sang, and Yunho felt his stomach drop out of his ass.

The hard bottom of the ball of your foot pressed down on his semi-hard cock. “Are you getting turned on by this, Mister alpha male?”

Yunho whimpered as you continued to step on his cock. His eyes rolled into the back of his head and you sighed in disappointment. “More like a sweet baby beta, hmm?”

You pulled out your clit and grabbed it by the base. You smeared it against Yunho’s cheek, watching as his ears got red in embarrassment. “Stick your tongue out, Yunnie,” You commanded.

Yunho did, looking debauched and delicious in the process. You tapped your clit on Yunho’s outstretched tongue, enjoying the feeling of the roughness against your sensitive organ.

Your other free hand gripped the back of Yunho’s head and you shoved your clit back into his mouth.

“That's it, take my clit in your mouth, just like that,” You moaned.

This sensation of having your clit sucked like this was making your pussy lips wet with desire. “Put your pretty fingers in me, Yunho, make me feel real good.”

Yunho stared up at you, your clit pushed into the soft flesh of the inside of his cheek, as he put one, then two fingers inside of you. You moaned at the dual sensation. It was nothing that you have ever experienced before; it was mind-numbing as Yunho penetrated you and sucked on you.

“Make mommy cum, Yunnie, oh fuck yes, that feels so good baby boy, give me what I want. Come on, swirl that tongue around me. Suck me good. Curl those fingers into my rough spot, that's a good boy, yeah yeah!!-”

You let go of Yunho’s head as you rode your orgasm. Yunho coughed, wiping his lips with the back of his mouth. “...what was that?” He asked.

You opened your eyes and stared down with a lust-lidded look. “That was my pseudo-penis, and that was me dominating you, Yuyu. But you liked it, didn't you, big boy?”

Yunho swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing nervously. “I…”

You gripped his chin harshly and began to growl. “Say it, Yunho. Say it for Mommy.”

Yunho whined, biting down on his lower lip. “I like it, Mommy. Yunho likes being your baby beta.”

“Much better.” You let go of Yunho and pushed the t-shirt back down, your clit having become normal sized again. “Now you know what happens when you try to pull rank on me.”

“You're just going to leave me like this?” Yunho called out dejectedly.

You waved a hand. “I'm gonna shower. You take care of yourself, big boy.”

Yunho watched as you sauntered to the bathroom and wondered how exactly he had gotten himself into this mess. And why exactly he was DYING for another chance for you to fuck his throat.

Yunho sat in thought. You had a pseudo penis. Your genes made you dominate him. Your tail and ears were yellow with black accents…

“Wait, you’re a hyena hybrid?!” Yunho shouted out to the closed door, and he swore he heard a cackle just like a hyena on the other side.

[symptomofgout]

the narrative of kaveh being an idiot is so baffling to me because he is, quite literally, canonically considered a genius…? why is the popular consensus “6000 IQ alhaitham and his lovably stupid roommate kaveh” when every npc commenting on kaveh refers to his intellect & talent, the literal god of wisdom says kaveh has an “almost-perfect grasp of what it truly means for sumeru to be a nation of wisdom” (whereas she questions alhaitham’s wisdom in her line about him), and alhaitham’s own story profile calls kaveh a genius multiple times??? like the whole point is that he’s alhaitham’s intellectual equal despite having entirely separate worldviews and demeanors, which frustrates alhaitham to no end — ‘how can someone so smart do all of these things that, to me, are so evidently stupid?’ the takeaway from their dynamic should NOT be kaveh is dumb, but rather that empathy and emotion aren’t actually the opposites of logic and intelligence, but sadly both alhaitham and the realm of academia as a whole are too blinded by their own definitions of logic to fully realize that.

tl;dr kaveh is not dumb by any standards and i will prove it

(under the cut: quotes/screenshots/etc proving this + more. please spread the gospel and dispel ignorance. amen)

some npc voicelines (there are more but i’m lazy):

these are pretty self-explanatory — kaveh is a widely-renowned scholar, architect, and engineer throughout sumeru. he graduated from the akademiya with flying colors, students were desperate to take his classes, etc.

nahida’s voicelines:

both are intelligent but only one is wise: kaveh. alhaitham is too restricted by his narrow definition of wisdom (read: what he deems ‘logical’) to look beyond himself and grasp that there’s more to intellect and knowledge than pure cold rationality. he can’t comprehend that empathy and intellect aren’t fundamentally incompatible — in fact, they’re best when put hand in hand. kaveh is one of the few scholars capable of valuing emotions, empathy, and artistic endeavors, while the rest of the akademiya closes themselves off to that entire realm of knowledge from the get-go. this is what makes kaveh uniquely wise, and what alhaitham lacks. until you understand that emotions and logic can and should coexist, you won’t be successful in the true pursuit of knowledge.

last but not least:

alhaitham’s profile (worth noting that profile stories are pretty much the most reliable source of information on characters’ true beliefs and opinions — their voicelines are still them putting on acts in front of the traveler, but these stories are told from the perspective of an omniscient narrator and are likely closer to the truth):

“two geniuses.” and even after their falling out, “neither of them will deny the other party’s exceptional brilliance” — meaning alhaitham considers kaveh to be exceptionally brilliant. point blank. in the text bro

hilarious line — it’s basically alhaitham saying he doesn’t understand how someone with kaveh’s talent and intellect could have a personality/worldview so different from haitham’s. ‘how can someone that smart be so annoying!!!!!’ and ofc by values we know it’s referring to kaveh’s idealism, empathy, and affinity for the arts

alhaitham considers kaveh to be “another genius,” someone who is so much his intellectual equal that he’s “an excellent mirror” for alhaitham. it’s like an experiment for him — the initial question is “how can someone as smart as me care about all of these things i’ve always believed to be worthless,” the subjects are kaveh and alhaitham, the controlled variable is their intellect. because their intellect is the same, alhaitham is able to study their differences (can’t attribute said differences to varying intellect). alhaitham would never say it out loud — and luckily he doesn’t need to bc his character story tells us — but he’s deeply fascinated by kaveh bc kaveh’s very existence is a threat to haitham’s worldview, & he’s letting kaveh stay with him bc through kaveh, alhaitham learns about not just himself but the outside world and humanity as a whole, and as a scholar, there’s nothing more valuable. (also because he feels comfortable with kaveh [“he’s a familiar face”] and they’re both lonely [“similarly lacks familial attachments”] lol these two are never beating the We Know You Don’t Actually Hate Each Other allegations but that’s a different point so i digress)

IN CONCLUSION:

this is all just the TEXTUAL evidence — people saying “kaveh is smart” — and doesn’t even include all of the obvious implicit signs of kaveh’s intellect (no one who graduates from the akademiya w honors and teaches classes there could be anything other than incredibly intelligent, al “i don’t do anything that i don’t want to do” “i’m not going to bother explaining it to you because you won’t understand” haitham not only puts up with but actively seeks out debates with kaveh which he absolutely would not do if he didn’t respect him or consider him to be of roughly equal intellect, look at the debates he has w alhaitham on sumeru messageboards and TELL ME those messages sound like they were written by an idiot or itto or something [you cant], etc etc etc).

and also this is all from 3.3 (+ 3.4 alhaitham leaks)! we don’t even know kaveh’s rarity yet, that’s how far he is from being playable, but there’s already this much information on just how smart he is! it’s the main thing we know about him — 1) he’s smart, 2) he’s passionate/driven by what he feels is right! why does that keep turning into “LOL HOTHEADED HIMBO”??!

okay look. this is all so extra i know. BUT. i must set the record straight now (god knows it’ll only get worse the closer we get to kaveh’s release) because this sudden-onset mass illiteracy within genshin players is going to send me to an early grave. feel free to use as a resource and educate the ignorant so kaveh does not end up reduced to a one-note meme dumb guy when literally that’s just… not even in the game. i mean at least other annoying OOC fandom interpretations have basis in the game but genshin literally tells u every time it gets the opportunity that Kaveh Is Just As Smart As Alhaitham Because Cold Rationality Does Not Equal Wisdom/Intelligence and losing that would be such a crime because it is by far the most interesting n promising thing hoyo has done with new characters in ages! like, not only are they funny and entertaining, not only are they fascinating incredible foils for one another, but they’re used to make a much-needed argument against the prevalent hegemony of mindless rationality and our “logical” society’s illogical fear of emotion/empathy. but yeah sure, theyre just itto & ayato 2.0, i guess. god. the lack of reading comprehension among genshin players is literally an epidemic

[sadie-bug345]

greasers when they’re sick

i myself have been deathly ill for the past week so whilst i am bedridden i’m writing this🤡🙆‍♀️🤩 ANYWAYS LETS GO

ponyboy:

hates missing school solely cause my guy despises talking to teachers abt what he missed

also cause he thinks he gets super behind when guy just skipped one day of school😭

probably holes himself up in his and sodas room and when soda comes in to check on him after work it’s like PITCH black and pony is just sitting in a pile of tissues

”what do YOU want?” says pony with a voice similar to kermit the frog cause bros nose is SO stuffed up

and soda just assumes pony is in one of his moody, poetry reciting moods again and slowly exits the room, leaving only a baloney sandwich in his wake💀🤡😭

johnny:

def the type to not accept help

like he would go to school sick and the second someone brings up how his voice is screwed up he’s like 😐”what’re you sayin bout me?”

if the gang does quarantine him to a room he’d def just be able to entertain himself and prob come up with his own secret language and fictional multiverse or smth

idk he just gives the type to be fully okay with being alone for a bit but the meds he’s on make him all wacky too so it’s an interesting mix for sure

sodapop:

i’m sorry this guy has the most nastiest cough 😭

idc if he doesn’t smoke a lot he just got those mucusy coughs

other than that everyone’s having a good time, making jokes and feeling good and then soda pauses his laughter and unleashes the most rattley cough and then everyone just goes quiet and he just looks like 😃

definitely unfazed by sickness in general

until one day my guy just has the worst time and breaks downnnn🥰

we’ve all been there too esp when you’re sick and shit just goes downhill and everything sucks and you hate everything and everyone

darry:

now johnny doesn’t accept help but that’s NOTHING compared to darry

he has peak older-sibling syndrome and is just used to only helping other people

so when those people that he takes care of flip the script, my guy is just weirded outtt

like he def appreciates two trying to make him soup but he just doesn’t know how to react

goes lowk crazy with not being able to work or straighten up the house just cause he always feels like he’s gotta do SOMETHING productive with his time

dally:

i’m sorry but guy is def the type to go to school FULLY sick and either not say a word about it or complain like a lil bitch the whole time

also he totally smokes while he has a cough like soda which is so unhealthy i can’t even😭

just overall his habits and life doesn’t get upended by “some fuckass cold” (his words, not mine)

like bro please you just gotta rest sometimes😭

the gang is able to get him to stay at the curtis’ couch one day and bro just WIPES OUT

istg he’s out for like 15 hours straight in the full daytime and everyone is scared to walk past in case they wake him up

but dally is a crazy heavy sleeper so he actually gets a lot better after calming down for once🥰

two-bit:

honestly stays home from school like a normal person

except bro gets one cold and then just doesn’t show up to school for like two weeks😭

and it’s not cause he’s a wimp it’s just cause guy finds an excuse to skip out for a so called “vacation” and he rolls with it

and then he’ll just spawn back in on campus like a month later like nothing happened and everyone just expected two to take a dare too far and end up in the hospital🤡

steve:

CANT STOP WONT STOP

bro just pushes thru the pain😭

he probably takes way too much of the recommended dose of general meds (don’t do this please🧍‍♀️)

and then goes all loopy for hours straight

and people are kinda sus about it but honestly it’s steve so who is really all that surprised

LMAO THAT SOUNDS MEAN SORRY STEVE

ANYWAYSSSS i think imma post a romantic kinda sick reader x greaser thing so that’ll hopefully come out soon while im still coughing my lungs out🫶

[xco-sm]

With Great Power Comes Love?

Style Fanfic (Stan x Kyle)

AU: Spiderman Stan and Fake Dating

*They are 16-17!!*

*Characters do not belong to me, they belong to Trey Parker and Matt Stone! I own the story!

*Do not publish this story anywhere else without my consent!

This is part 1 of my new fic! I hope you guys enjoy it so far and I can't wait to get chapter 1 out for you all! Any ideas and/or feedback is welcome and will be taken into consideration! I will publish this on ao3 once it is completely finished!

TW! Slurs! TW!

Prologue

Up North of Denver, Colorado, is a town called South Park and there lived a teenage boy named Stan Marsh. He has jet black, messy greasy hair and dark blue almond shaped eyes. Most would say he’s just a basic guy with a classic group of friends: Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman. As well as a typical family of four, including parents Randall and Sharon Marsh and his older sister, Shelly. 

No one would ever suspect that he was the hero that saves their small little town from the crimes that happen. The one they call Spiderman.

Like every other Spiderman in different universes, Stan was bitten by a radioactive spider. He struggled to learn his newly formed powers and adapt them to his everyday life. However, it was made much easier by his super best friend, Kyle Brofloski. 

The pair had been friends since diapers and had been glued to the hip since. Most people would say they are a bit funny… However, they both couldn’t care less about what others thought of them.

Now most Spider-Man's origin stories are all different and unique. Stan’s was definitely unique…

“Ouch! Awe sick dude,” Stan complained with pain. 

He was currently on the ground of a forest (why were they there? Don’t ask) after he ate shit from what Cartman would later call “a pathetic bitch fall.” The boy was pushing his upper body up from the ground when all of a sudden his ass felt like it was getting poked at by hundreds of mosquitos. “Fucking shit, I think a bug just bit my butt dude.”

The other boys all gave a face of disgust and instead of helping the one who fell, they simply started laughing. All except Kyle. “It was probably an ant dude, not a big deal. Now get off the floor, there could be dog shit for all we know.” Kyle walked closer to Stan in case he needed aid.

“No, you don’t get it, it actually fucking hurts dude. I think I might die or something. Can someone check?”

Everyone went completely silent at what Stan just said. It lingered on for at least three more minutes until Cartman practically yelled, “Kyle, you do it, he’s your faggy boyfriend.” Kyle simply rolled his eyes in annoyance and crouched down to where Stan was now rubbing his backside in pain. “I’m sure it’s not bad, I’ll help you get up so we can take you to your place so your mom can check it out.” 

“No! Like I think it was a spider, please check,” Stan pleaded with an obvious pout that would’ve worked if he was still 8, but he wasn’t, he was now reaching the age of 17. 

“Fine, take your pants off.”

Another silence took over the four boys, but instead of minutes going bye, seconds loomed over them. This time it was the blonde of the group to break the silence with a loud and what Kyle would say an obnoxious laugh. Cartman soon joined after spewing something about ‘how fucking gay’ Kyle was. Stan was groaning in frustration and slight pain. “You guys are so annoying Jesus.” He pinched his nose bridge and sighed. 

“No, you two are. It’s sickening hearing you guys make out all the time,” Cartman snorted out amidst his laughter. “ I really don’t want to have to see you guys have sex now, at least get a room.” Kenny nodded in agreement before opening up, “I can’t believe I’m about to witness Stan and Kyle have sex before I turn 18. Like bro that’s crazy-”

“Oh my GOD! TAKE YOUR FUCKING PANTS OFF JESUS.” yelled out an enraged Kyle.

“At least take the poor boy to dinner for Kahl,” Eric mocked, holding onto Kenny during another laughing fit. Stan rolled his eyes for what felt like the millionth time tonight and stood up and walked behind a tree. He motioned for Kyle to follow him to check out the bite and Kyle rushed over to help. 

“Sorry for yelling man, you know I’m not mad at you right?” Kyle said as he waited for the other boy to finish lowering his pants down enough to where the bite had occurred. “Yeah, I know, now check please because I swear if I die because of a stupid bug, I might as well go to hell.” Kyle shook his head and started checking.

It wasn’t unnatural for the pair to do something like this as they have always changed in front of the other. There’s even been times in sleepovers (they won’t admit they still have sleepovers, but they do) where one, typically Kyle, is taking a shower and talks to the other, typically Stan, while he’s doing his business on the toilet. It’s always been the norm for them to be this comfortable around the other, so Kyle was unfazed by practically looking at his best friend’s ass checks. 

“Well? Anything?” Stan prompted impatiently. Kyle stood up to face his friend and shook his head, “Nah man, it doesn’t seem like anything bit you to leave a mark. Maybe it was just your head fucking with you to think you got bit?”

Stan groaned and put his pants back up while walking back to the other two, and shortly after followed the red-head. “Hey guys, gotta bounce! Marj gets to have people over today!” Kenny expressed excitedly. “See you losers later!” He waved out to the group before running off to the girl’s house. Cartman started complaining about something before he said, “I am not waiting around to see you all making out again, I am out!” With that, he left the boys alone in the woods going off to God knows where. 

Kyle and Stan ended up back at Stan’s place after they were rudely abandoned, according to Stan, by their so-called friends. “No, you don’t get it. It was a masterpiece created by God or something dude.” Stan exclaimed. They were talking about Transformers again even though Kyle had already expressed how uninterested he was. “Like it has everything you could ever want. Bumblebee, robots turning into sweet cars, Megan Fox, and I don’t know if I mentioned but Bumblebee! You cannot not be interested in a cool ass movie like this.”

Kyle rolled his eyes while getting comfortable on Stan’s bed sighing at his friends' antics. “Look, it is a cool movie I won’t lie, but I’m just not into it like you are. Not really my thing to be honest with you.” Stan dramatically gasped at Kyle before getting up and crossing his arms. 

“But- but- Bumblebee!”

“Are you gay for Bumblebee or something?”

“Who wouldn’t be?”

Kyle’s eyebrow arched as he chuckled at his friend. “Dude, that a fucking robot. What weird shit are you on?” Stan groaned playfully and dismissed the red-head with a wave of his hand. “Whatever, I’m going to the restroom, I’ll be back.” Kyle hummed in response and went back onto his phone messaging his mom that he would be staying the night at Stan’s place. 

A couple minutes passed and Stan still hadn’t come out of the restroom, concerning Kyle. He got up and walked to the bathroom where he heard Stan yelp in fear. “Shit shit. How do I get this shit off oh my godddddd.”

Kyle’s face shows concern and he raises his hand to knock on the door, “Dude? Are you okay there?” From the outside, Kyle can hear things being dropped and what sounded like marble breaking. “Stan? What’s going on in there?”

“Um… promise not to be mad?”

“What did you do…?”

“It wasn’t me I swear! I couldn’t get it off of me! It was crazy because like someone had to have put glue on it or something. Also everything feels so much more weird like I feel taller you know? What if I’m dead and you-”

Kyle groaned and opened the restroom door to see Stan frozen still trying to pick up a broken toilet seat and a mess all over the restroom floor. Stan looked like he had been sweating from the activities going on in the restroom and almost as if he was going to start crying. Kyle got on the floor with Stan and started helping him clean the mess so it can go back to how it was before Stan’s parents got back home. 

“How did you even manage to get this stuck to your ass dude?” Kyle looked over to the blue eyed boy. He wasn’t too surprised by this, due to shit going on like this in this damn town all the time. However, it was weirder because as they had gotten older, odd stuff slowly stopped happening to them. “I don’t know if I’m honest, and now that I’m looking at it there doesn’t seem to be any glue on the seat. Ugh this is the worst.”

As Stan reached over to throw the piece of marble in the trash, he found that he couldn’t seem to let go of the piece. He shook his hand in an attempt to shake it away but found it did nothing to help him. The boy started getting scared and waved over to his friend who was putting things back to where they belong. “Dude! This is what I’m talking about. Look!”

Kyle turned and his eyes widened in surprise at the scene before him. He almost had to do a double take before putting whatever was left in his hands down. Kyle went over to where Stan was and got ahold of the marble trying to get it off Stan’s hands. “Let it go! What the hell.”

“I already tried too! I physically cannot let it go, what the hell is wrong with me.” Stan smashed his hand down to the floor and to no avail did it unstuck itself. Kyle watched his friend struggle with the toilet seat and decided to see if there was some kind of glue, he grabbed another small piece and threw it in the trash. This gave Kyle all the information he needed to know.

The red-head got closer to Stan and put his hands on the noirette’s shoulders. Stan looked up at Kyle in confusion stating, “Dude, what are you doing?” Kyle rolled his eyes and stared at Stan before speaking, “Don’t you see what’s going on? You said you got bit by something in the forest right? Now let’s say it was a spider…”

“Oh my god, I’m like Spiderman! Dude, that's awesome!” Stan waved his hands up in excitement and like magic the marble fell out of his hands. The two boys started jumping up in excitement as they shouted out all different kinds of things that only made sense for the two of them. 

“Dude! You’re just like Andrew Garfield!” Kyle spouted calming the other, with newly found powers, boy. Stan shook his head and put his arm around Kyle’s shoulder with a narrator-like voice he said, 

“No. I’m your friendly neighborhood Spiderman.”

[thewayuarent]

Boston is the worst

And how we get into stupid game of compared morality that doesn’t actually exist

This moment got me thinking. A lot. Mostly something like “Sand, honey, are you okay?” but also about how it doesn’t make sense for Sand to say that. Like even Ray was like “Hmmm, babe, actually, no”.

And then I got it. It’s not about why Sand says it, it’s about why narrative implies it so often.

But why is it constantly implied by narrative that Boston is the worst? Not just bad, or shitty, but actually the worst of all of them? And I kind of feel that I got it. But first, let’s go through the whole list of Boston saying be gay do crimes and compare it to other characters. And yes, I know that all those situations and motivations were different. I understand that this is not the same situation playing out the same way every time.

1. Boston recorded Ray and Mew intimate moment.

So as Nick recorded Boston and Top and Top recorded Sand and Ray. And Drake’s character I forgot his name again did with Boston.

2. Boston shared it with Top.

So as Nick, Sand, Ray and Mew did with BostonTop tape and Mew did with TonDrake clip (I kind of get Ray a half-free pass in that cause in my opinion he was more a tool than active participant but I still remember him).

3. Boston manipulated Nick’s feelings for his own goals.

So as Mew did with Ray on several occasions, and Sand did with Ray that one time to hurt Top, and Mew did with Top and the whole using sex as a test thing. (Also Ray kind of tried it with Sand but Ray sucks at manipulation and failed miserably).

4. Boston slept with Top when Top was in a relationship with Mew.

So as Top probably (?) did with Boeing. And you know who also did this? Yep, Sand. With Ray. Who also was with Mew.

5. Boston chased Top against his will.

So as Ray constantly chased Sand since ep 2, and Top constantly did with Mew since they broke up. And Nick did with Boston at the Halloween party. And Atom now doing it with Boston.

(Honestly, the only normal reaction to that in my opinion was from Ton who was like fuck off to Nick and Atom. But it kinda worked for both Sand and Mew so good for them I guess?)

6. Boston took an advantage of Top on several occasions.

So as Ray with Mew - twice, Ray with Sand (seriously bro stop it) and Top with Mew (and yes, hugging your unconscious ex who can’t give his consent and who told you several times to fuck off is not okay, I’m sorry. Try to put yourself in Mew’s place - not cool)

7. Boston outed Ray’s personal information.

And so as Ray did to everyone in the bar, and Mew did with Top and Ton in the Halloween disaster party TM.

8. Boston gets violent with Nick.

And so as Sand and Top, and Mew with Ray, and Sand with Ray, and Ray with Boston, and Top and Ray, and Mew and Boston, and literally everyone to everyone except Nick who is apparently hippie.

9. We all know that Boston didn’t cheat on Nick, right? Their relationship was communicated pretty clear. But I’ve seen those takes so.

Yeah, Top and Ray both did it with Mew.

10. And don’t even let me start to talk about slutshaming and purity culture. Ton is constantly dragged down for his active sex life both by other characters (Mew, Cheum, Ray, Nick) and the audience.

And yeah, Top is the same, and Sand is the same, and they never told us about Ray but did you see that guy? He’s the same.

And what distinguishes Boston from others is that he actually always - since the very beginning of the show - owns his shit. He’s almost never remorseful (for now), because he knows who he is. Bitch and proud, I would say. And I believe that it’s actually the case - because it’s way easier to feel superior towards someone who’s not denying their wrongs.

And this is about characters, but also about the audience. Every week, whatever happens in the show, Boston gets his amount of hate. Ray was winning after episode 8, but somehow Boston was still there. Boston, who actually didn’t do anything since episode five. It’s nine episodes aired already, can we leave him alone, please?

Every character in this show does shitty stuff. And it doesn’t make any of them bad irredeemable people. It makes them complicated, and young, and stupid, but not evil. This is not the “who’s the worst” competition. But somehow, for whatever reason, Boston keeps winning it.

Because the audience kind of get used to it. Because he doesn’t look remorseful. And who cares that he was punished by narrative way more than once, right? That he is isolated from his friends group - the only friends he has, and we can see that it affects him. That he was betrayed by Nick who he trusted. That he was a victim on revenge porn not once, but twice. That he did his best to clarify his boundaries but still get the creepy stalker behavior both from Nick and now from Atom.

Why does he need to change his personality to get some level of understanding and compassion? Why is he’s the only one who doesn’t deserve it? Because he’s a slut. And a bitch. And a bad person. Because while we have Boston it’s so much easier to apologize whatever other character we want. Because while Bostons exist it’s way easier to compare ourselves with them and keep winning some moral high ground points.

Because instead of thinking about these characters as complicated and trying to understand the motivation behind their sometimes morally wrong and questionable behavior, it’s so much easier to brush it off saying “Well, at least they are not Boston”, right?

[depressedhouseplant]

Cops & Robbers Read Along: Chapter 5

You can read the chapter here

This chapter had the first true “on screen” violence. I could’ve gone way harder with it and chose to keep it toned down to increase the impact of a later scene (and if you’ve read the fic you know which scene I’m talking about). I also introduce Stray Kids in this chapter. Sorry Stays, someone had to be my cannon fodder for real and they lost. 

Younghoon needed to focus. He needed to find something identifiable about them. They were still wearing ski masks, but their hands were uncovered. One had a star tattooed on his right ring finger. They both had brown eyes, but the one without the tattoo had eyes that were closer together than the other’s. It wasn’t much, but it was something.

Sorry for the uncharitable description of Jisung, but you knew who I was talking about, right? I know Changbin doesn’t have tattoos on his hands, but “short” wouldn’t have been very descriptive now would it?

“That’s enough!” The voice from the doorway made them all stop. Pinched Eyes dropped him back onto the floor. The two stood at attention. A smaller blonde about the same size as Chanhee walked in. The lower part of his face was covered by a mask, but his eyes and forehead were exposed. He had blue eyes, but Younghoon suspected they were colored contacts.

“You’re the boss?” Younghoon asked.

“I am,” he replied. His voice was shockingly deep for his size. Another trait Younghoon filed away for later.

I tried to make it pretty obvious this was Felix. Blonde hair? Deep voice? Felix is another character who is easy for me to write so including him wasn’t nearly as much of a struggle as it was with some other characters.

The boss flicked his wrist and Younghoon twisted out of the way. A searing pain shot through his chest as his body rebounded. He gasped to try and catch his breath. It took a few seconds to realize the knife had broken the skin.

This is based on an actual injury I had. I used to do aerial silks (think Cirque du Soleil) and when I was coming out of an inversion, I thought the floor was closer than it was so my legs ended up swinging backwards and I twisted, tearing all the tiny muscles in my chest wall. It hurt like hell. The worst part is there was nothing that could be done except pain management and trying not to breathe. Years later my orthopedist would inform me I actually cracked a rib in the process. Thanks bro.

“We found a body. Well, we found a report of a body found in an alley near the club,” Sunwoo explained.

“Is it Chanhee?” Juyeon asked.

“Description doesn’t match, but it sounded a lot like one of the guys who kidnapped them. We’re about to go check for ourselves,” Hyunjae added.

“You’re going to break into the morgue?” Juyeon stared at them.

“Would you rather we rob a grave?” Changmin asked. 

“Well?” Sunwoo prompted.

“Fine. Sunwoo, stay here and see if there are any other reports related to the body,” Juyeon said. He turned his attention to Hyunjae and Changmin. “Just don’t get caught.”

“We won’t,” Hyunjae smirked.

I thought the rob a grave line was funny. What can I say? I have a dark sense of humor.

“Looks like the right one,” Changmin said as he put on gloves. The body was a male in his late 20s. The most notable thing was his eyes appeared almost too close together. 

“Did the report have a COD?” Hyunjae asked.

“No, but I think I know what it is. Help me roll him,” Changmin replied. They rolled the body onto its side and Changmin probed the base of the skull. “Yup. Bullet wound.”

Again, sorry for the uncharitable description of Jisung. Also sorry for killing him off so fast. Maybe.

“Then why kill him?” Hyunjae carefully cleaned off the corpse’s finger after taking a fingerprint.

“Why’d they kill Chanhee? Nothing about this gang makes any sense,” Changmin replied as he closed the compartment again. Hyunjae sealed the fingerprint in a bag and shoved it in his pocket.

Nothing about this whole fic makes sense. Thanks for breaking the fourth wall, Changmin. I hope y’all are enjoying me roasting myself in the process of this read along. Only 11 more chapters to go!

[glyhpsrfvckincol]

Hi I love your writing can you do hunter or edric x plus size female reader fluff and some jealousy plz

Me, the Rizzler || Edric Blight & Hunter Noceda

Synopsis - Edric Blight and Hunter Noceda with a plus-size! Girlfriend.

Warnings - Me being in love. Me being cringe. Me. Mentions of Odalia🤮🤢.

A/n - I’m going insane 💀

Requests are opened; headcanons only

Edric Blight

↳ Him: Shawty in love 😍

↳ Actual tho, thinks you’re a goddess.

↳ Edric thinks all girls are goddess tho so 😒

↳ Except his mom. No one thinks she’s even a decent witch.

↳ Odalia is kinda the Umbridge of The Owl House 😭

↳ I’m getting so off track, it’s not even funny.

↳ Edric lives for the cuddles. Whether his head resides in your lap, stomach, chest or neck, he ain’t goin’ anywhere.

↳ He don’t need to, he got everything he could want. His sisters, his dad and his babgurl.

↳ *Insert fuckboy lipbite 🫦*

↳ Someone stop me.

↳ PROUDLY shows you off.

↳ Whether to his friends, his school mates or his sisters, they’ll know you two are a package deal.

↳ Wanna know how Edric asked you out?

↳ He sent you a poem by accident. Call him Edrizz Blight cause bro is smooth.

↳ At least compared to his dad.

↳ And only online.

↳ I’ll throw shade on all the blight males. No one shall stop me.

↳ Edric doesn’t feel jealous of anyone. He knows you love him, and he feels safe in your guys relationship.

↳ But Emira flirting with you makes him feel small.

↳ The two are pretty much identical, safe for the hair length and which side their moles are on.

↳ She constantly makes fun of him, plus he’s given next to nothing attention from his parents. {Middle child syndrome}

↳ You’re one of the very few people Edric has in his life and he trusts you enough to just lead him astray.

↳ As his mother would call it. 😒

↳ Though Emira only flirts with you when he’s been annoying to her standards.

↳ He’ll become clingy when she does this, Edric’s way to tell her and others that your occupied with him. 😤

↳ She knows how important you are to him, so over time, her flirting slowly stims down, but she’ll still pick on him occasionally.

↳ Can I have both you and Emira?

↳ Edric would take your clothes. He’ll shamelessly where them around you, his family, school mates. EVERYWHERE.

↳ I personally don’t see Edric having ANY girl sit on his lap, I just can’t really imagine it??

↳ But if you wanna sit him in your lap… 🫣

Hunter Noceda

↳ Every time he sees you:

↳ He’s just, so IN love with you bro.

↳ I would be too though so.

↳ HES NOT SPECIAL 👹

↳ Me and Hunter: 🤾‍♂️🤺

↳ Fr.

↳ Bro I’m so fucking cringe 💀 I’m sorry if this is just straight up annoying.

↳ ANYWAY-

↳ Loves to hug you. He will fall asleep on you. This is canon. Zeno and I said so. 😌

↳ Hunter will sit in your lap. Just gotta put him in it.

↳ Wanna sit in his lap? DO IT. He can handle it, but he will be flustered.

↳ I think I’m going insane 🤡

↳ Would wear your clothes.

↳ But only if you insist cause whether he’s in his golden era or wet cat era, he ain’t askin’. Bitch too shy.

↳ Hunter is in love with you and I’m gay for you.😍

↳ Accept my proposal bbg.

💍

[wildelydawn]

that trio fic of ferran, pedri and gavi sounds super good like, i'm listening 👀📢

Alright my friend, buckle the fuck up because I have 1500 words for you (none of it is smut, this is just the lead up). I might end up finishing this some day because I've outlined the rest at the end, but for now, enjoy.

-

“Fuck, I just want someone to get me off,” Ferran complains as soon as they’re back at the hotel. 

Pedri had every intention of just going to sleep. He’s not one to drink, but after being told, “We’re on vacation,” for the hundredth time that night, he decided to have “something fruity, since he’s from the tropics,” as Gavi so eloquently told the bartender. She had rolled her eyes: either too drunk herself to realize who she was serving or simply totally oblivious to football. 

“It’s not the tropics,” Pedri had argued exactly once before getting lost in a mango strawberry something. God, was it sweet. And no one stopped him from ordering three more, especially since Gavi would complain about his beer and then “hold” Pedri’s drink for him.

Yeah, real clever.

So when he fumbled around with his wallet to get the hotel passkey out, his first stop was going to be the horrendously expensive mini fridge to drink all the water he possibly could. But leave it to Ferran to invite himself in and for Gavi to follow them around, his tail between his legs like a wounded dog at the shelter.

Yeah, all three of them are coming home alone. Except Ferran’s the only one who’s actually mad about that.

“I can understand both of you being alone, but I seriously thought that one girl was down.”

Pedri tries to catch Gavi’s eye, to silently ask Which girl? Ferran had talked to at least a dozen.

Gavi, though, is far more insulted. “What do you mean you understand us being alone?”

Ferran groans. “Well, you look like you’re twelve, and Pedri’s wearing those awful jeans, so. Let’s face it. Not the best wingmen.”

Pedri looks down at his outfit. “What’s wrong with how I dress?”

“If you have to ask.” Ferran sighs and plops down on the couch. 

Gavi snorts. “If you were any better with women, you wouldn’t need a wingman. Or to chat up a whole fucking bar.”

Pedri agrees, but he’s finally managed to get the cap off his water. He drinks heavily, polishing off the first bottle before cracking into another. His head isn’t so fuzzy. It was worse half an hour ago, when they were in the cab, but standing is a bit of a struggle, and, God, is he thirsty. 

“Says the guy who talked to exactly two people before getting piss drunk.”

“I’m not piss drunk,” Gavi argues back. “Why does everything have to be about getting laid? Why can’t we just be on vacation and have fun?”

Pedri shoots him a dirty look. “Bro, going out was your idea!” 

“If we had it your way, we’d never go out again.”

“Yeah because we wasted four hours, a couple hundred Euros, for nothing. I could’ve stayed home and watched-”

“Oh here he goes, fucking Game of Thrones-”

“I still haven’t watched the ending!” Pedri shouts. “I thought we were supposed to be relaxing!”

Ferran leans back into the sofa cushions, watching the both of them. “As much as this is entertaining, I’m still mad at you idiots.”

Gavi turns back to Ferran. “Why are you mad at me?!”

“Because neither of you helped and you probably made it worse-”

“Okay, for the last time. We didn’t prevent you from getting laid. Take it up with your tiny dick and terrible pick up lines.”

Ferran scowls. “Shut up.”

“I’m serious! We’ve been here two days, and it’s like you’re hellbent on getting your dick wet!”

Pedri nods along because Gavi is right. Ferran has been on the prowl since they landed. He even hit on the lady at the lobby, who flushed very prettily before making a show of her wedding ring while checking them in. 

“You’ve got a couple million. Hire someone,” Pedri says without thinking. Both Gavi and Ferran stop their squabbling to turn to Pedri, shock on their faces. “What?”

“Uh, wow. He must be sloshed.”

“I’m not that drunk,” Pedri groans, a hand over his eyes. He needs to pee. Drinking water that fast, not smart. “It’s a solution.”

“Yeah, no thanks man. I know you’re into the whole MILF thing, but I would prefer someone from this generation.”

Pedri registers the insult. Ferran poking fun at his tenacity to run after older women, but the slight comes from a man who’s sitting alone on his couch, positively bitchless, so he’s not that offended. 

“Damn, what was her name again? Maria? Do you think I could find her on Insta?” Ferran has his phone out. “She has to be on Tinder.”

Gavi turns to Pedri. “He’s hopeless.”

“It’s only 2:00AM,” Ferran scowls again. “Just because you guys are prudes doesn’t mean I have to suffer.”

“Can you go suffer in your room, then?” Pedri asks, but Ferran pays him no mind.

“None of these girls look like they give good head.”

Pedri groans. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“Spoken like a true prude-”

“Theoretically, men do suck dick the best,” Gavi says solemnly. Pedri doesn’t know how or from where, but Gavi’s managed to find a beer to crack open and drink. 

“What?”

“I mean, girls can suck dick pretty well, but obviously a guy would know better.” Gavi takes another sip of his beer as if debating dick sucking skills is just another conversation topic between the bros. “Because he’s a guy.”

“What?”

“Are you stupid?” Pedri asks abruptly. “Or just drunk?”

Ferran holds up his phone. “I’m trying to figure out what he’s saying while swiping!”

“He’s saying that because guys get their dicks sucked, they probably know how to suck dick better than a girl,” Pedri explains. He feels his ears getting redder at each time the word “dick” leaves his mouth. 

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard in my life,” Ferran says with a laugh.

“Well, have you ever had your dick sucked by a guy?” Gavi challenges. 

“Uh, no,” Ferran chuckles. “But I’ve had some pretty great blowjobs before, all from women. So, if you don’t mind…” Ferran points to his phone.

Gavi snorts. “Good luck with that.”

Pedri anticipates the conversation to be dead but Ferran, who’s never really been one to shut the fuck up, immediately complains, “God, this app sucks. What is wrong with this city? Is no one trying to get laid?”

“Maybe they just don’t wanna suck tiny dick,” Pedri giggles, then bursts out into laughter. He laughs and laughs, turning away from them as Gavi and Ferran continue their argument. God, I need to pee.

“Everyone’s probably too drunk to get laid-”

“Then why are they on the fucking app as available-”

“Just give up already!”

“No, I’m horny, and I’m going back out there.”

“Really? Really? You think that’s safe?”

“I don’t give a fuck if it’s safe, I came here to party, you’re both fucking downers, and I’m gonna get my dick wet, like you said I should-”

“Get on the couch-”

“No, I’m leaving- what are you doing-”

“I’ll fucking do it-”

“What the fuck-”

“You said you wanted to get your dick wet-”

“Wait, Gavi-”

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” Pedri announces to literally no one before throwing the bottle over his shoulder and walking to the bathroom that’s across from the kitchenette. He shuts the door behind him, sighing at the peace and quiet. Thankfully, it seems Gavi and Ferran have stopped fighting.

Maybe they’ll leave now.

Pedri unzips his allegedly ugly pants and pisses into the toilet, yawning as he does. Of course, it would be nice to be with someone right now. But he’s woefully single, and, to some degree, Ferran is right. His love for older women doesn’t translate well into finding a steady relationship. Not that he’s on the hunt for one. As much as they failed tonight, he can’t deny wanting intimacy. Nor can he blame Ferran for being so goddamn feral. They’re on this vacation to blow off steam. 

Maybe tomorrow night, we can actually go have fun.

Pedri resolves to be a better wingman as he washes his hands and towels them off. He opens the bathroom door and comes out to the living room, ready to tell his friends that tomorrow’s a new day, with new women, and a new chance at love.

The words die in his mouth when he sees what Gavi is doing with his.

“G-Gavi?”

And Ferran is just sitting there, on the couch, his pants shoved down to his ankles, a wicked smile on his face, half shrugging like “What? It just happened!” Like Gavi tripped and fell mouth first into his lap.

“Care to join us, Pedri?”

(Okay, so after that, Gavi proceeds to blow them both before they basically reduce Gavi to a total mess. I'm talking about bullying Gavi a little bit since this was his idea, and then praising him for sucking dick so well. Ferran insists on fucking Gavi first because he's the one who's actually desperate for it while Pedri is just awestruck, like "God, that's my best friend and he takes cock like a champ" before deciding that he needs more of Gavi's mouth. They end up spitroasting Gavi to high heaven and basically swapping between who gets his mouth and who gets his ass. And of course, it ends in some snuggling after. Maybe Ferran leaves halfway through the night because he's like "Okay, that was nice, but I do actually want pussy at some point" but Gavi and Pedri wake up late and fuck in the shower because that's what best friends do.)

EDIT: This is now a full story on Ao3.

[manlvrr]

Least Favorite TTBGO Episode: The Bunker List

Lol no guys I haven’t updated any of my fics. I’m working on an edit but it’s going really slowly. To be fair, I’ve been busy this week. Not busy enough to watch TTBO and read Trolls fics tho LMAOOOO (mainly I’ve just been unmotivated)

Besides Hair-Jitsu, The Bunker List is one of my least favorite TTBGO episodes (I HATE IT (besides certain moments 😋)) because it’s just Branch giving into peer pressure and making it seem like it’s only his fault for rushing through his bunker list. Guy Diamond and Smidge are annoyed at Branch for not doing things on his bunker list which, to an extent, is valid. Branch needs to get out more, but we’re talking about Branch here. The same Branch that was gray for 20 years. It’s not going to be easy for him to go through the list when he struggles so much with ‘basic’ social cues/expectations.

It’s not like he isn’t attempting to be more social either. He’s actually made good progress since the first episode.

Branch only made the bet because Guy Diamond and Smidge had gotten on him for not wanting to do things on his list. When he first said to give him a year to do the things, they scoffed and rolled their eyes. A year isn’t that long to complete a bucket list though? Especially not for someone like Branch who, again, was gray and miserable for 20 years. Poppy made a good point with telling him to do the list at his own pace. (She is surprisingly wise for a Pop troll surrounded by excessive positivity) I just wish they focused the lesson on not letting others get into your head over how you do things instead of ?? Idk whatever the lesson for that episode was.

What annoys me most out of that entire episode is that Branch still has to be humiliated in front of his friends (and only his friends thankfully bc seriously???? In front of everyone?!?!?! That was a horrible bet). They laugh at him when he tried to apologize (again, to an extent, fair bc he was being so aggressive towards his friends cause of wanting to finish his list on time). That was bad enough except then neither Smidge nor Guy Diamond apologized for pressuring him which really rubbed me the wrong way.

They were the whole reason Branch did all that. Poppy didn’t want the bet to happen yet they hair shook with Branch to make the bet official.

Several times throughout the TTBO and Trollstopia series Branch is made fun of for not being ‘normal’ or made the bad guy/blamed for stuff he didn’t do or wasn’t completely at fault for. I hate it so bad and this episode is one of the main examples of this. Ugh.

Also, I don’t completely like that bunker list bc of those same reasons. It’s a good idea but when Branch completes a part of the list the scrapbook says “One step closer to being normal!!”

. . .

Pop trolls try not to make Branch feel bad for being extremely socially inept due to 20 years of isolation, grayness, and trauma 🙀🙀 CHALLENGE IMPOSSIBLE ‼️‼️

Bro still isn’t his original colors of course he won’t be as happy as the other Pop trolls

Anyway, yeah, rant over. If you made it this far congrats on reading to me take a kids show way too seriously 🤗

[flowercrowngods]

nice to meet you, where you been? (steddie tattoo shop au)

🌷 part 1 | part 2 (or read on ao3) | T – 12.3k – 3/3 🌷

part 3: fallingforyou (5k)

in which the boys finally have that date

Eddie doesn’t even make it home before his phone vibrates, revealing a new message from an unknown number. 

Unknown: hi i was a bit dumb and didn’t ask for your number but i figured you’d be cool if i take it from the form you filled out for the tat. hope that’s fine! 👀 

Steve: oh this is steve by the way

Eddie snorts and leans against the lamp post beside him. It’s a bit stupid, the way he just essentially drops everything to text a boy; but he’s always been like that, and he sure as hell isn’t gonna change that for Steve fucking Harrington! In fact, he has a feeling it might only get worse from here on out. 

Eddie: Aw and here I thought this was Brad. I even drew a little heart beside my phone number on the tattoo form :( Steve: pff please you’d never get a tattoo from someone named brad Steve: that’s not even a real name  Steve: people named brad aren’t real Eddie: Brad is ghosting me and you’re joking about it, Harrington, I cannot believe this 💔 Steve: i’ll make it up to you Steve: are you free on saturday? Eddie: Only if Brad doesn’t un-ghost me 😔 Steve: menace :D Eddie: I’m getting your tattoo removed as we speak!!! Eddie: !!!!!! Steve: :( Eddie: That’s what you get, Stevie. That’s what you wanna take on a date.

Eddie’s heart is hammering in his chest, the wide grin faltering a little when he realises what he just said. He called it a date. Is that right? Is that what Steve wants? Is that what they’re doing? There is a chance that Steve only wants to catch up, hang out as friends. Queer friends that can’t exactly stop smiling at each other, who occasionally get lost in each other’s eyes, who flirt, who…

Damn. He’s not objecting to a friendship with Steve. Hell, it would probably be one of the best things to happen to him right after his band and the soulmate-ism with Chrissy! But the thing is, he’d have a massive crush to get over first. 

There, he’s admitting it now. He has a crush on Steve Harrington like he’s never had a crush like this on anyone before, ever, in his whole entire life. Except once, in high school, for nearly two years. On Steve Harrington. Fucking dammit, he is so cliché. He’s leaning against a lamppost, grinning down at his phone, and everything! 

And Steve isn’t typing anymore. Eddie is kind of dying. How’d this man get this much power over him in the matter of, what, like a week? 

Eddie: Not too late to back out of that by the way Steve: are you kidding me?? Steve: bro i would take you on that date right now instead of waiting until saturday Steve: but alas

‘Alas’! The boy knows words! 

Eddie’s heart is doing a somersault in his chest — and if anyone asks, no, that’s not him giggling down at his phone out on the streets like a helpless little gay boy with his first real, butterflies kind of crush. 

Eddie: Oh damn, you're a real go-getter, aren't you, Steebie? Eddie: Wait Eddie: Did you just call me bro Eddie: DID YOU JUST CALL ME BRO STEVEN Eddie: B R O ?????? Eddie: Is that what we are 😔

Steve: drowning my phone as we speak 

Steve:if you need me no you don't

And if Eddie is cackling at that, laughing, blushing, hiding his face behind his curls, no, he is not. 

Giggling, blushing, and feeling so very alive, Eddie hits the call button and hopes that Steve didn’t actually drown his phone and went to leave the country. 

But luck, it turns out, favours him today, because Steve picks up on the first ring. 

“Hi, bro,” Eddie says, still laughing. On the other end of the line, Steve is groaning, but Eddie can hear something even better. “Oh my God, is that Nobody’s Perfect you’re listening to? From Hannah Montana?” 

“Picking up the phone was a mistake,” Steve sighs without any real heat, and Eddie just wants to go all the way back and watch him. Chin on his hands and all. Just watch Steve as he closes up, listening to ridiculous songs that make him call people bro as he’s flirting with them, and tell him how beautiful he looks in clothes that are not designed to make people look this perfect. 

“So what was that about taking me on a date right now?” Eddie asks instead of saying any of that, listening as the music gets quieter over the line. 

There’s a moment of silence and Eddie imagines Steve shrugging. He’s adorable even in Eddie’s head. He lives in there now. Rent free, just pretty and sassy and not at all bro-like. 

“Stevie?” 

“Uh. Yeah, that was, uh. Sorry.” 

“What for?” 

A huff, some shuffling, and Eddie yearns. He feels it in his hands, the way they’re tingling, aching to reach out, to hold, to keep. 

Steve sighs, then speaks. “Nothing, just a whole narrative of things that make me sound like the clingiest dude, so let’s pretend I didn’t say a thing?” 

Eddie smiles before he knows it, because Steve might be saying what he thinks he’s saying, and he’s being shy about it. Shy! Steve! Eddie never stood a chance. 

“You miss me already, Mister Kettle?” 

“Maybe.” And God. How is he so charismatic even when he’s shy and most probably blushing? Steve Harrington, force of nature specifically designed to wreck Eddie’s little heart and soul and universe. 

“Say the word and I’ll come back, Stevie,” Eddie says, and he finds that he means it. He doesn’t have plans, Chrissy isn’t home to tell him he’s not dreaming, and he has this ache, this tingling in his chest, his arms, his hands. This feeling that tells him he has to go hug Steve right this second and not let go for the next five to seven business decades. 

There’s a huff and the ache only gets stronger. 

“In fact, Steeb-o, it’s actually testing every ounce of strength this mind and body possess not to jump back into the subway and make my way over to you. So, like. Say the word. I think I might literally be begging you to go ahead and say the word, give me an excuse to be annoying and clingy.” 

Steve chuckles and he sounds both relieved and stricken, and Eddie wants to know. He wants to know what’s happening inside that pretty little head. He needs to know what Steve thinks, what he wants, what he sees, what his world is like. 

This is crush of his is moving incredibly fast. And still it’s far from enough for Eddie, and he knows that’s kinda not good, not healthy, a bit dangerous possibly. But it seems to be the same for Steve. Like maybe they’re bad influences for each other. 

Like catalysts for destruction. But how would the boy who shines like gold in the sunlight destroy him? The boy who listens to Nobody’s Perfect when he’s cleaning and closing up, the boy who tapes up his shirt sleeve so Eddie won’t have to take off his shirt, the boy who has a whole binder of weird-ass tattoos and the softest touch, the quickest mouth, the sharpest tongue, meeting Eddie’s banter head-on like it’s all they’ve been doing since taking their first breath of shared air. 

It’s not destruction that’s happening. It’s something much, much more terrifying. It has Eddie’s heart beating in his throat all the same. 

“Let me take you on a real date,” Steve says then. “When I didn’t have a long day at work. When I won’t say stupid shit. Okay, Eddie?” 

The yearning doesn’t stop, not when Steve says his name like that, in that smiling way he has. Part of him wants to object, wants to insist to turn around and spend more time with Steve. He wants to kick himself, wants to apologise for just running out of the shop like that. If he hadn’t, maybe they could go on that date now. 

But Steve’s exhausted, and he deserves better than Eddie being actually clingy and annoying about this. Boundaries. No matter how tingly his arms are. 

“Of course,” is what he says. “Sorry.” 

“Not at all,” Steve hurries, that casualness back in his voice that makes Eddie want to go eat a tree. “I think I started that, anyway.” 

“Yeah, when you called me bro,” Eddie adds, snickering. 

Steve groans again. “I hate you.” 

“And for good reason, too, bro.” 

“I’m hanging up on you, Edwin.” 

“Can’t believe you continuously hate-crime me, Steve Rogers.” 

“Captain America? You won’t hear me complaining.” 

Eddie snorts. “You’re so easy, man.” 

“Goodbye, Eddie,” Steve laughs, and Eddie wants to soak it up. Live inside that laugh. 

“Bye, Stevie.”

And then the line goes dead, and Eddie finds himself still leaning against the lamppost, stupid grin on his face, face half hidden behind his hair. There is that nice sting of a new tattoo on his arm, the late summer air is breezing through his jacket, and the upbeat Powerwolf song picks up where Eddie left it when Steve called. 

It’s a good day. A great day. A wonderful, perfect, absolutely breathtaking day. 

Eddie is a bundle of nerves and anxiety by the time Saturday rolls around. He’s spent more time in Chrissy’s bed than in his own and they went over the whole, What if he finds out I’m actually the most boring person on this planet? ordeal, which has gained him a pillow to the head and a big, big hug. He’s not complaining. 

But he also is decidedly not calm when he sees Steve rounding the corner. Not when he sees the guy breaking into a huge smile that puts even the sun to shame, and especially not when he spots the flowers in the guy’s hands. Flowers for him. Flowers that make his heart skip.

God, he’s so lame. 

“Hey,” Steve says, still smiling, except now Eddie can see he’s blushing. Blushing! 

Abort mission, abort mission! Eddie cannot do this. He is not cut out to dating pretty boys that blush and bring him flowers. 

“Hi,” he says, feet rooted to the ground as he feels his own blush rising to his cheeks. “Are those for me?” 

“No, actually they’re for Brad. I’m surprised to meet you here, this is kinda awkward now.” Steve’s looking around in a theatrical manner and Eddie hates him so much, he is so lame! 

Except now they’re both laughing and Eddie is pulling Steve into a tight, warm hug. It feels so intimate, the way Steve’s face is pressed against the crook of his neck, his arms tight around Eddie’s middle. And the little hum when Steve’s laughter subsides sends shivers down his back.

He was right, actually. Holding Steve is the best thing his arms could do, and he never wants to let go. 

“Hi,” he says again after a while, closing his eyes and smiling into Steve’s shoulder. 

“Hey.” 

This is going great. Neither of them seems in the mood to let go anytime soon. 

But then Steve takes a step back and holds out his flowers to Eddie. They’re dried flowers, the same he has in the little vases in his tattoo parlour, and they smell amazing. It’s ridiculously cute. Everything about Steve makes Eddie want to explode and scream and laugh and cry and take the deepest breath of his lifetime. 

“I would have given you fresh ones, but I feel like that would have been a bit sad if they can’t get water, and these ones will probably last you a bit longer, too. I hope that’s fine?”

It’s fine. It’s so, so fine. God, it’s so lame, but it’s so fine, and Eddie wants to scream again. Instead, he takes the flowers and goes in for another hug. Steve chuckles and breathes a tiny little sigh of relief that Eddie soaks right up. 

“Thank you, Stevie,” he murmurs. “I love them, actually. Very metal, to bring me dead flowers, actually.” 

At that, Steve sputters and shoves away from him, still laughing. “Yeah, I figured you’re weird enough to enjoy dead flowers more than dying ones.” 

“Touché, Steven. Touché.” 

“You're so weird,” Steve says and then nudges their shoulders together. “Now come on, mister tough guy metal man.” 

“Oh, I’m gonna have that be my actual title. Can I legally make you address me like that?”

Steve eyes him from the side and says, in the most serious tone, “I won’t say anything without my lawyer.” 

Eddie cackles at that, feeling elated and excited and just really fucking good. Steve makes him feel all those good things that people have been talking about forever, and it’s only just the first date. He’s helpless. Can’t stop looking at Steve, sneaking glances and hiding behind his hair when Steve meets them, looking so fucking fond that it makes Eddie want to run away again. 

It’s intense in a way that Eddie has never experienced. And they talk. Oh, but they talk. About everything and nothing, and it feels so natural. He learns more about Steve’s best friend Robin, he still doesn’t know the name of his little tattoo angel friend, and it turns out walking around town with Steve is an experience, because you can’t take the guy anywhere. 

Every five minutes there’s someone waving, excited to see him, or even just nodding as they pass them on the street. It kind of adds to his sunny disposition and makes Eddie feel like he’s stepped into a parallel universe, like he’s witnessing something primal to the human experience. Something like joy, like fascination, like the universal constant that is being drawn to Steve Harrington. 

And he’s staring, smile on his lips, when Steve notices. 

“What?” he asks, sounding a bit shy underneath that amusement as he pays for ice cream and hands Eddie his cone. 

“Nothing.”

“Didn’t look like nothing to me, man.” 

Eddie eyes him. “Are we entering bro territory again, Harrington?” 

“Oh fuck you,” he laughs, and then the moment is over and Eddie could go back to his musings. He could. But he’s Eddie fucking Munson, and if there’s one thing he doesn’t have, it’s a filter. And chill. Okay, there are several things he doesn’t have, and all of them come out when he’s around Steve, apparently. 

“It’s just, you’re like the sun.” 

Steve stops in his tracks, looking at him. “I’m like the sun?” 

Eddie nods and comes to a stop a few steps ahead of Steve. “Pretty much.” 

“Uh. Care to elaborate?” 

“Well, first of all you’re wearing a yellow button-up, of all things, and that just screams sun at me, no take-backs,” he points out, and Steve looks down at himself, frowning a bit like he’s only just realised the colour of his shirt. Adorable. 

Eddie continues, before his brain catches up with whatever the fuck he’s doing, baring his thoughts like that on the first date. 

“Secondly, you’re kind. Like, you’re a genuinely nice guy. And I think the term sunny disposition was coined for you specifically. Actually, I have a friend in linguistics, I can ask her if there are any etymological… Anyway, uh.” Oh, there it is. His brain is back and he realises what he’s saying, notices the way Steve’s looking at him, his head cocked to the side, looking at him. Seeing him. Understanding what he’s saying. 

Eddie swallows and goes back to eating his ice cream, looking anywhere but at Steve. 

He almost misses it when Steve says, “You’re cute, Eddie Munson.” 

His head whips up when he hears that, staring at Steve and his stupid little smile, his shining eyes, the glazed look in them, like he’s seeing Eddie and the rest of the world for the first time. 

And Eddie, because he truly deserves the title of triple high school flunkee, says, “No, you.” 

Steve huffs and shakes his head, still with that smile on his lips as he approaches Eddie again, crossing that distance. Drawing Eddie in even though his feet are rooted to the floor again. He swallows as the blood rises to his cheeks, bringing with it a heat that only deepens his conviction that Steve is a fucking sun of his own. 

They’re so close, suddenly, that Eddie can smell the sweet lemon ice cream Steve got, and he holds his breath, petrified. He begins to understand why, throughout history, people have built religions around the sun. Why they have worshipped and created mythology around her, why people have been likened and pronounced representatives of the sun herself. 

He gets it when Steve leans in and brushes the sweetest kiss to his burning cheek. His hand lingers on Eddie’s jaw even as he pulls away. 

“Cute,” Steve says with a finality that a voice as raspy as his shouldn’t possess. But Eddie doesn’t dare argue, not when Steve is so close, not when he can see the blush on his cheek, not when he only needs to turn his head and their lips would touch. “And pretty. Thank you.” 

The fingers on his jaw are moving in the slightest caress once, twice, three times before Steve pulls back. 

And Eddie sways. Honest to god sways on his feet, and he tries to mask it by taking a step back and spinning around, but Steve’s light snicker tells him he’s been found out. 

It’s unfair, though, that Steve gets to have this charm. This confidence. The courage to just kiss his cheek when it takes Eddie everything to just act normal. Well, as normal as he gets. 

It’s unfair. And addictive. He hides his face in the flowers that smell so perfectly like spring and summer and freedom that it makes him positively giddy. Everything about today makes him giddy. 

Can it really be like this? Is this really for Eddie to soak up, is this for him to keep? This kind of happiness and joy never did seem to be reserved for him.

But then Steve asks if he can take his hand, and Eddie opens his heart to the moment and links their fingers, daring to look over and catch Steve’s smile before he ducks his head away. 

As far as first dates go, this is the best one Eddie’s had. They just walk a lot, which is perfect for his restlessness. This way he can run away from Steve and let the man laugh as he catches up, shaking his head with fondness. And Steve does. He follows him, he catches up, he gives chase, and suddenly they’re kids having a perfect summer day outside, their bellies full of ice cream. 

And it turns out, Steve Harrington is not just a pretty face, a kick-ass tattoo artist, an interesting mind and a sunny kind of smile. No, he’s also a person Eddie wants to genuinely spend time with. It’s almost too good to be true and it makes him want to hide. 

So he does. But not behind his hair, no. He presses his face into Steve’s collarbone, and instead of shoving him off or laughing awkwardly, Steve just wraps his arms around him and holds him. Tight. 

“Everything okay?” 

Eddie nods, holding Steve in return. “Yep, but if you’re gonna ask me any more questions, I’m gonna be real stupid here.” 

Steve hums. “Stupid like me saying I didn’t really want to wait until today and just see you again right away on Tuesday?” 

It makes his heart jump, because, yeah, something like that. Something exactly like that. 

“Uh-huh. It’s just…” He sighs and steps back to look at Steve. “I’m having a really wonderful day. And it feels sort of forbidden.” 

“Forbidden how?” 

“Like… God, this is gonna sound very, like, thirty steps ahead, probably. But you’re, like. Man. You’re kinda perfect, and I can’t really wrap my head around the fact that we’re on this date, and that you’re calling me cute and pretty. Because people don’t do that. Not to a trans guy, not to me. And I didn’t even know I wanted that, but, boy. Boy. I do. I really fucking do.” 

Steve is smiling by the end of it, and Eddie doesn’t quite understand. He should be running, should be looking at him with pity in his eyes, or that misplaced kind of understanding that’s really just nothing else but pity, just disguised with a dash of transphobia. 

“Why are you smiling?” he asks when he’s just about to explode. 

Steve shrugs, but that smile stays. “I like that you just… Say these things. That I can ask you what’s up and you’ll tell me. I don’t know, makes me feel like you trust me.” 

“I do.” 

That smile widens a fraction, and Steve takes his hand. “Well, let me return the favour, hm? I like being here with you. I’m having a really amazing time and I don’t want it to end. I didn’t want it to end on Tuesday either, I don’t know. It just… I don’t know, it feels right. And you are cute. And pretty. And funny, and just really great to spend time with. It feels like I get to be a version of myself with you that’s just, like, all of it, you know? It’s scary, of course it is, and makes me feel a bit stupid, too, but more than that it’s just really great. I’m sorry people are weird, but believe me when I say that, yes, you get to have cutesy dates, too. I’d take you on one, like, every week if you want.” 

“Every week, huh? What, do you have a crush on me, Harrington?” 

“Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy?” 

And just like that, they’re laughing again. Relieved, happy, filling their little bubble with joy and sincerity and butterflies. 

Things are moving fast, but Eddie feels that if they went any slower, the world might actually end. 

They don’t kiss that day. 

In fact, it’s past midnight when Steve cradles Eddie’s cheeks outside the door to his apartment, looking at him like he hung the moon. Eddie’s not any better off, he feels. 

“Can I kiss you, Eddie?”

“I’ll bite you if you don’t.” 

Steve hums as he leans and brushes his lips against Eddie’s. It’s a good kiss. Oh, it’s a great kiss. It might just be the best kiss of his life when he feels Steve’s tongue against his lips, and he moans a little as he winds his arms around Steve’s neck, holding him there. Keeping him. 

They kiss lazily, perfectly, for so long that it leaves Eddie a bit dizzy. And when he breaks away to take a breath, Steve leans his forehead against his temple. 

“Goodnight, Eddie,” he whispers. “Thank you for today.” 

Words fail him, so he just nods before pulling Steve in again by the back of his neck, kissing him some more. Because how in the world could he not? 

“When can I see you again?” he asks, just to be a little pathetic. 

Steve moves the kisses from his lips to his nose, his cheek, his eyelids and up to his forehead, making Eddie glad there’s a locked door behind him. 

“Tomorrow sound good?” 

“Tomorrow sounds perfect,” Eddie breathes. “Best fucking day of the week.” 

Steve laughs and presses one last chaste kiss to his lips. 

“For the record,” Essie says, pulling away from Steve, a bit breathless, “when you say tomorrow, you mean today, right?” 

And Steve pauses. Steps away from Eddie. “I can’t believe I like a guy who thinks the day is over at midnight.” 

Eddie would laugh at that, but… “You like me, huh?” 

“Very much. Thought that was obvious what with the kissing and the handholding and the whole speech thing we had going on earlier.” 

Eddie is too giddy to retort and he’s only mildly petrified when he actually giggles, darting forward for another kiss. “Goof. Goodnight, Stevie. Now leave before I do something stupid like inviting you in.” 

“Oh yeah, we wouldn’t wanna do that. You’d end up seeing all my tattoos and spontaneously combust. I can’t bear that kind of responsibility.” 

“Your— Steve!” But the man is already retreating, walking backwards to watch Eddie as he laughs, giving a silly little wave that has no business being so cute. “Get your ass back here,” Eddie hisses as loud as he dares, aware of the time and the fact that his neighbours will be asleep already. And that’s not even mentioning Chrissy. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Eddie.” 

“Will you show me your tats then?” 

“What? Sorry, I suddenly can’t hear you anymore, you’re so far away.” Asshole. Beautiful fucking asshole who kisses so good that Eddie’s still leaning against the door. He hates him. So much. They’re gonna have a spring wedding. 

Tomorrow finds Eddie outside of Steve’s door, fighting both nerves and a big smile as he knocks. Seconds later, the door sweeps open with a flourish and Steve is on the other side, smirking at him, looking so damn put together that Eddie falters a bit. 

“So rude of you to turn up your damn charm, Harrington.” 

“Only for you, Munson,” Steve says, taking Eddie’s hand and pulling him inside. “Only for you.” 

Eddie steps into his personal space and kicks the door shut gently. “Oh yeah? Well, I’m charmed. What’cha gonna do about it, big boy?” 

Steve hums, bringing his hands up to Eddie’s neck. “Think I’m gonna kiss it better, see if that helps.” 

And then he does. He pulls Eddie in, closing what little space was left between them and takes his breath away with a long, gentle, intimate kiss. 

“God,” Eddie breathes against his lips, his own hands landing in Steve’s hair, which earns him another hum. 

“Yup.” 

God, he’s so lame. 

“So,” Eddie says with one last kiss to Steve’s lips. And then another. And another. “Show me your tats?” 

Steve laughs and leads the way further into the apartment. It’s nothing like Eddie expected. Sure, it’s tidy and clean, because Steve just seems like the kind of guy who folds his laundry immediately and takes his dishes to the sink instead of letting them pile up or soak. But there are posters on the wall, there are little figurines and fairy lights lining the shelves, pictures of Steve and a girl that looks vaguely familiar. So many pictures actually, of Steve and the girl and other people, laughing and blurry at times, testaments of good times. 

They make Eddie smile a bit. Fucking sunny boy Steve, alright. 

Steve and Eddie end up talking for a while first, sitting in the kitchen with a cup of coffee and some stupidly delicious cupcakes. 

“Robbie made those.” 

“Your roommate best friend? The one with the fear of needles or something?” 

“The one and only,” Steve laughs. “She has a little bakery down the street, actually. Used to stress bake half her life before she turned it into a business. The night before her finals in high school, she made three cakes and dour batches of, like, three different types of cookies. She aced her finals, of course.” 

“Of course,” Eddie grins, taking another bite of the cupcake. He’ll have to stay with Steve just to get his hands on more of these, damn. Chrissy is coming with him to get more tomorrow, he decides.

“I also told her you chose her favourite little angel and she wants to marry you now. Except, I reminded her that you’re a man and she, very respectfully, passes.” 

“Shame.” 

“Very. Guess now you’re stuck with me.” 

“Damn. The hardship,” Eddie sighs with all the drama lessons he ever had in his life, and it makes Steve chuckle as he takes his hand. They stare at each other for a moment or two, just soaking up the smell of coffee and their respective smiles. 

The moment ends when Steve raises his hand to his lips and presses a kiss to his knuckles before rising to his feet and tugging him along into his room. Eddie zones out for a bit just watching Steve move in his space, talking about something that Eddie doesn’t really comprehend because he’s busy staring as Steve takes of his shirt, and— 

Oh. 

They’re wings. 

Steve has wings. Four of them, and they’re like mandalas. Intricate little things, but when Eddie takes a closer look, trailing his hand along Steve’s warm skin, he can’t help but notice that the lines are a bit like smoke. They don’t seem to follow any pattern or direction, and up close, they don’t look like wings. Up close they look like disjointed, wonky lines. Like a freestyle tattoo, almost absentminded in its ink.

They’re beautiful, covering Steve’s whole back, mixing fine line patterns with stronger, thicker, almost aggressive lines. Eddie could stare for hours, tracing the abstract lines, trying to figure them out and giving up with the fondest fascination. 

And that’s how they find themselves in Steve’s bed, shirtless, Steve lying down on his front, his head placed comfortably on his folded arms. Eddie is straddling his legs, moving his hands up and down Steve’s back, which turns into a light massage and Steve purrs underneath his touch. 

There’s nothing sexual about this — and not just because they’re both sort of ace. It’s just tender. Trusting. Gentle. 

Steve’s shoulders, his chest the insides of his upper arms, they’re all covered in tattoos. All rather abstract versions of common motifs. There are monsters, too, and it’s like someone turned Lovecraftian storytelling into a tattoo machine and used Steve as a canvas. Eddie somehow has no doubt that Steve designed most of these together with Robin or that artist friend Will he mentioned yesterday.

He wants to ask, wants to understand, wants to know it all. But words don't belong in this moment, so Eddie keeps up the gentle motions of his hands. Soon, Steve is falling asleep under his hands and Eddie joins him after a while. They’re wrapped around each other, comfortable, without a care in the world. It’s rather perfect. 

And if you ask Eddie years down the line, he’ll say that this is the moment he knew he could very well fall in love with Steve Harrington. In fact, he’s already on his way there. 

---

okay whew, we are done? i think? maybe? there might be a buckingham part to this at some point, but if y'all have anything you wanna see in this verse, i'm open to being pestered very kindly and patently please i am quite literally on the verge of an anxiety attack rn)

thank you @ everyone who was even mildly enthusiastic about this little thing, you 12 people have my whole heart 🤍🌷🥹

tagging:  @inmoonywetrust @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring @vampireinthesun @ajamlessbaby @momotonescreaming @zerokrox-blog @hotluncheddie @saganarojanaolt @eboyawstenn