#except his secretary outfit. she thinks he’s hot in that

[vxmpire-cxsh]

explained to her the entirety of danger days

[misfit-mccoward]

oh yeah i added more onto the deidara/minakushi au. takes place after the events written up here, where deidara is taken captive by konoha

ummm i guess content warning that consent in this fic follows porn logic, not real world logic. so everyone is happy about having sex and into it, even though one person is being held prisoner against her will

****

Deidara mopes in her cell. She has a cot with a single blanket she considered blowing up to try and escape, but the room is so obviously plastered in fuinjutsu that she doesn’t bother. Instead she lies on the cot, thinking about her current circumstance. 

Being captured by Konoha was pretty bad. She didn’t like that, or being thrown in a little room by herself. But this wasn’t as bad as the sting of being betrayed by Akatsuki. After she’d done so much for all of them, and they’d just thrown her out like trash?

I’ll get my revenge, Deidara decides. She’ll tell Konoha, and any other village that will listen, all their little secrets. Then she’ll go over and blow them up herself if she can!

Except. Here is what was throwing her for a loop. Why hadn’t the Hokage fucked her?

You see, dear reader, Deidara’s logic does not function as ours does. To her, the benefit of being tied up is that someone will come and fuck her. The entire world is her plaything, and she doesn’t understand why she has been denied. 

Deidara had never actually been captured before. But she’d detained other ninja a few times, and it seemed like every time they were wildly hot criminals and she ended up being uncharacteristically clumsy and tripping and falling right into their junk. Then they’d have a fun little sexy game where they both pretended they hated each other, have sex, and then all conflict would be resolved. It was the great unifying force of her world. 

Is it some sort of power play kink? She wonders. She dips a hand down her pants, playing with herself as she toys with some different ideas. He came in, flashing his massive, delicious looking cock, and then not done anything to her. Orgasm denial?

And his dick had looked so good, Deidara remembers, moving her fingers faster. In Deidara’s world, there was nothing better than having the biggest, fattest dick shoved inside her. It wasn’t fair to tease her and then leave her with next to nothing! Just a cumshot? Really? She’d even offered more. 

The logical path forward had seemed so obvious to her, the moment she’d seen him. He should have threatened to fuck her, she’d have pretended to not be into it for a hot second, and then finally they’d mutually go at it and she’d come about seven times and he’d fall in love with her and do whatever she wanted. That was just what the natural course of action should have been here. 

I’ll have to try harder, she decides. She works another finger into herself, breathing hard. She’ll seduce the Hokage, make him help her get her revenge, and have a ton of kinky sex!

The resulting orgasm she solicits from herself is, honestly, kind of sad. She wishes she just had his dick…

And if all that doesn’t work, she thinks, rolling over to her side. I’ll just escape, yeah. 

xXx

In the morning, the Hokage comes into her cell. Annoyingly, he’s wearing actual pants this time. Behind him is a pretty woman. 

Deidara eyes her critically. She’s around Konan’s age, with long red hair. It frames her face and makes her pouty lips look even redder than they really are. Her outfit is cute but unsexy, a loose fitting haori over Konoha blue shirt and trousers. 

Deidara writes her off. She’s hot, but clearly not hot enough to be a major player. 

“Who’s this?” Deidara asks, turning back to Minato. “Your sexy secretary you touch yourself at night to?” 

Minato clears his throat. “This is Kushina, my wife.”

He explains that Kushina is the resident fuuinjutsu master who will be sealing Deidara’s chakra, and Deidara goes back to studying her. Could Deidara convince Minato to cheat on his wife for her…? Deidara’s never not been able to tempt a married person before, but Minato appears… resistant. 

They take Deidara to a nondescript room and tell her to take off her clothes. 

“It’s for the seal,” Minato says, carefully not looking Deidara in the eyes. His cheeks are pink, even as his tone remains professional. “It will cover your whole body.”

“Okay,” Deidara says, deciding maybe this will be fun after all. 

She’s as sexy as she can be as she takes off her clothes, rolling her body as she removes her shirt. They took away her own bra cover in the Hokage’s cum, which is a shame, and gave her an ugly beige one, which is an even bigger shame. In Deidara’s world, all bras were sexy and could make your cleavage look amazing. Who knew they could be ugly?

She throws her dsicarded clothes in the vague direction of Minato, who shies away from them, like they might harm him if he stands too close.

Despite flinching away from her tossed clothes, Minato very obviously does not watch her as she strips, although Kushina watches her with evident interest. Deidara smirks at her. 

“Kushina will be taking the lead, ma’am,” Minato says, still not looking at her naked body. 

“Ma’am?” Both Deidara and Kushina repeat, incredulous. 

Kushina explains she will have to paint all over Deidara’s body, and that she should listen to Kushina’s instructions on how to move carefully, or else the seal could get messed up in a way that could kill Deidara. Deidara is sure it could also get messed up in a way that would motivate her to move around a lot, such as just failing to work. Or, once, Deidara had heard of someone getting a zero gravity seal stuck to her tits, which sounds kind of fun. 

“And Hokage-sama won’t be helping?” Deidara asks, trying not to sound too hopeful. Maybe he won’t fuck her, but she could probably get herself off to him coming on her again. 

“No,” Kushina says, stepping up closer to Deidara. “You’re stuck with me, you know.”

Kushina then eyes Deidara up and down slowly, taking in every inch of her naked body. 

“Ugh,” Kushina says, frowning in concentration. “There’s a lot of chakra static interference. Must be because we both have so much.”

“Chakra static?” Minato prompts, as if he’s never heard this term before. Which is absurd, because this is a very well-recorded and real thing in Deidara’s world. 

“Yes, it happens when chakra residue interferes with itself,” Kushina says. She frowns at Minato. “Surely you’ve run into it before. I have this problem all the time, since I have so much excess.”

“Well…” Minato starts, looking unsure of himself. 

“Only one thing for it, you know,” Kushina says, and then shrugs off her haori. “The best way to get rid of static is to take off all your clothes.

“Wait,” Minato starts, alarmed, but Kushina tosses her shirt at him, followed by the rest of her clothes. 

Kushina strips down to her bra and panties, which are a lacy matching set the same shade of vivid red as her hair. This choice for work makes sense to Deidara. Why wouldn’t she be dressed like this?

Kushina’s figure, once it's revealed to Deidara, is perfect. She has long, shapely legs leading to perfectly round hips, and her stomach is toned from her active lifestyle as a ninja. Her boobs are also pretty big, pushed up by her bra and then overflowing, like she’d recently grown a cup size and hadn’t yet bought new underwear. 

Maybe she is a major player, Deidara thinks, imagining running her tongue over the lacy edges of Kushina’s bra. 

“Wait, Kushina,” Minato repeats, clutching her clothes to him like they’re protecting him from something. Or maybe hiding another erection. “You don’t have to do this.”

“Of course I do,” Kushina replies, running her eyes over Deidara’s naked body clinically. Deidara shivers. “A permanent chakra sealing is tricky work. We can’t have any static, you know.”

Wait, Deidara thinks, her attention on Kushina’s thick thighs snapped. They said that before.

“What do you mean, ‘permanent’?” Deidara asks, suddenly feeling nervous. 

“We’re going to permanently cut off your ability to mold chakra, so you can never use jutsu again,” Kushina says. She takes another step towards Deidara. “Since you just have so much and are so, so dangerous.”

Deidara’s brain buzzes. She can smell Kushina’s floral scent, some sort of perfume wafting off her, and the way Kushina calls her dangerous makes something inside of Deidara turn hot. But, also, having all her chakra cut off forever seems like… like such a bad outcome. She wouldn’t be able to make art anymore, or get her revenge. 

This isn’t fair, Deidara thinks, taking a step back. I just wanted to fuck someone hot and have them help kill my enemies, is that so much to ask for?!

“Fuck off,” Deidara hisses out, and then she makes a run for it. 

Deidara makes a hand sign, and her clothes, covered in her saliva, explode. Minato, standing against the wall where she’d tossed them, leaps to the side. With his attention diverted, Deidara grabs for Kushina’s throat, aiming to rip it out with her hand mouths. 

“No,” Kushina tells her firmly, and then Deidara’s arm is being yanked back. 

Gold chains bloom from the floor, wrapping around Deidara’s arms and legs. She yelps, struggling against them, but they pull her back and pin her to the floor. Her arms and legs are both pulled apart. Kushina leans over her, her red hair swaying around her face. 

“Not even you can get out of those,” Kushina tells her. “Now lay there and behave.”

Deidara glares up at the ceiling as Kushina and Minato have a brief conversation about her. Deidara makes a few attempts to pull at the chains, but they are solid and unmoving around her. 

Kushina reappears in her peripheral vision. Then Kushina steps over her, panting her feet on either side of Deidara’s hips, and then lowers herself. Kushina sits on Deidara’s hips, her knees on either side of her. 

“Kushina,” Minato objects.

“This is the best angle,” Kushina replies. 

Kushina turns and looks down at Deidara, whose opinion of the situation is getting more and more confused in her mind. Deidara doesn’t want her chakra sealed. But also, this position… 

Holy fuck, Deidara thinks. 

Looking up at her, Kushina looks like some sort of goddess. Her blood red hair is haloed by the light above, and her hair drips over her shoulders like rivers of crimson. Backlit as she is, her hair seems to blend with the lace of her underwear, like she’s sitting completely naked and in charge on top of Deidara. 

Kushina’s thighs are firm over her, squeezing around Deidara’s hips. Kushina has her pinned completely, unable to move except at Kushina’s whim. 

Kushina is holding a pot of ink and a brush. 

“Most of this will go over your heart,” Kushina says, and then reaches forward and touches Deidara. 

Her hand is warm as she sets it over Deidara’s breast, moving it gently. Deidara lets out a whimper, her whole body feeling hot. Kushina moves her, manipulates her, has complete control over her, and Deidara can’t help but be aroused. 

Off in the corner, Minato makes a weird noise. 

“I can take it from here if you can’t handle it,” Kushina says, her eyes not moving from Deidara. “It’s not like she can do anything like this.”

Deidara wimpers again, her cunt suddenly aching. She’ll let Kushina do anything to her, actually, if it keeps going like this. 

Minato must leave, because there’s no more commentary from him as Kushina carefully paints a seal over Deidara. The ink feels cool in the air, and Deidara shivers. She feels her nipples harden from either the temperature or just from her own arousal. 

“You already have a seal here,” Kushina observes of Deidara’s chest. Her finger traces it, and her face cocks to the side in interest. “I’ll have to be careful.”

Usually, Deidara would mock Kushina, ask her if she was enjoying playing with her tits. But for this, whatever this is, Deidara stays silent, letting Kushina press down on her or move her as she wants. The only sound that comes from Deidara are a few sad little whines. 

If she behaves, Kushina will finish her, right? They’ll have sex. Deidara is desperate for this inevitability, the warmth and ache between her legs gradually increasing with intensity. 

Kushina’s seal also goes over both arms, and Kushina leans directly over Deidara’s face to get at them, putting her breasts on full display. Deidara pulls half-heartedly at the chains on her legs and arms, wishing she could do anything to alleviate the ache between her legs, or that she could press herself up to touch Kushina back. 

Kushina paints over her stomach, ignoring the sad sounds of desperation Deidara makes, and then retreats to kneel between Deidara’s legs to seal them as well. 

Kushina must be able to smell Deidara, see how she’d basically dripping for her. Kushina doesn’t comment though, feeling up Deidara’s legs before painting her strange symbols over them. Deidara lets out a little moan as the brush moves against the soft flesh of her inner thighs.

Kushina doesn’t touch her, though, doesn’t even dip the soft brush into her. Deidara bites her bottom lips, her thigh muscles tensing as she tries to bring them together, but Kushina holds her firm. Deidara wants it so bad it’s physically painful. 

“There,” Kushina finally says, sounding pleased with herself. “Now I just have to activate it.”

She straddles Deidara’s hips again, peering down at her. This is Deidara’s last moment to stop this, her last chance to prevent her chakra from being sealed entirely, from letting Kushina completely and utterly bend her to her will. 

“I’ll have to do it with my mouth,” Kushina says. “Be good and don’t resist.”

Never mind, Deidara thinks. She doesn’t even argue as Kushina sets both hands on either side of Deidara's head. 

The logic of this jutsu makes perfect sense to Deidara. After all, how else is one supposed to get their chakra inside another person?

Kushina lowers herself slowly, and Deidara notes that her perfect white teeth are just a little sharper than usual. Her lips are soft as they meet Deidara’s, but her tongue slips into Deidara’s mouth with no preamble or teasing. It’s a domineering move, entering her and forcing chakra into her, and Deidara does nothing to resist. She lays there, unable to move, feeling the power of Kushina’s hot chakra roll and push its way down her throat, her cunt throbbing for the same attention. 

Kushina’s chakra feels like nothing Deidara has experienced before. It’s hot, burning, and so strong it seems like no one should be able to fight it. Deidara gasps against Kushina’s mouth as it fills her chest, making her feel hot. 

Kushina’s tongue stays in her though, and Deidara squirms. She swallows up more chakra, greedy for it even as it seems like too much, as it fills her, trying to beam into Kushina mind that Deidara is hers and she could do whatever she wants to her. Overwhelmed with arousal, Deidara starts sucking her tongue, and Kushina pulls back. 

“Huh,” Kushina says, staring down at how Deidara is panting pathetically from her, their lips still connected by a string of saliva. “Maybe that seal in your chest is a problem.”

“Wha…” Deidara says, inarticulate. Kushina climbs off of her, and Deidara whines for her to come back. 

“Your chakra is sealed for now,” Kushina tells her, standing over her. “But I’ll have to talk to Minato. You might have lucked out; I don’t think it’s actually going to stick forever.”

Of course, Deidara thinks, struggling against the chains, desperate to get her legs together if Kushina wasn’t going to touch her for her. Because otherwise I wouldn’t fuck you, and I need you to fuck me. 

“So will you fuck me now?” Deidara asks, sounding pathetically needy even to her own ears. 

“Fuck you?” Kushina asks, sounding surprised. “No, Minato says we shouldn’t…”

“But I want it!” Deidara cries, feeling actual tears prick in the corners of her eyes. “I want it so bad, yeah!”

Kushina is staring down at her, and Deidara sees something behind her eyes wavering. Deidara squirms some more, doing her best to make her boobs shift and bounce for Kushina, as they’re the only unbound part of her. 

“You– you got me spread eagle and horny,” Deidara whines, feeling the weight of her breasts roll over her and wishing Kushina would just reach down and squeeze them. “And you won’t even fuck me? Isn’t this some sort of war crime?”

Kushina hesitates. She bites her bottom lip, and Deidara can tell she wants it too. 

“Well,” Kushina says at length. “There’s another way I could activate your seal, you know.”

Kushina gets down on her knees between Deidara legs. Deidara feels the chains on her ankles loosen, and she does not need to be commanded to move her legs onto Kushina’s shoulders. 

Kushina’s hands dig into her thighs, holding her in place, and then her tongue licks the length of Deidara’s cunt, tasting her. Deidara lets out a strangled yell of pleasure, her tears from her pleading dripping down her face as she squeezes her eyes shut. 

Kushina buries her face into Deidara, her nose brushing against her clit as her tongue dips as deep into Deidara as she can get it. Hot chakra fills Deidara again, seeping into her like Kushina owns Deidara, like Kushina is pushing her way in and taking over every part of Deidara, and Deidara groans out Kushina’s name from how good it feels. Kushina keeps going, relentless, her chakra full and strong and unending as it creeps up Deidara’s body and into every one of her nerve cells, until Deidara finally comes, her legs shaking as she gasps out Kushina’s name again. 

Kushina drops her legs. She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. 

“So,” Kushina says. The chains retreat from Deidara, who stays lying in a sweaty, panting mess on the floor. “That didn’t work, but it was worth the try, you know.”

“So what are you going to do?” Deidara asks. Her voice is weak and pathetic. She hopes Kushina will try again. 

“I have to talk to my husband,” Kushina replies. Deidara clicks her tongue, annoyed. That guy is hot, but he’s so annoying.

[serenadeonacanoe]

Honestly, I'd piss him off on purpose. (Namjoon x OFC)

Pairing: Namjoon x Original Female Character

Genre/Warnings: Smut, Angst, Fluff, too tired to beta

Tags: Artist!Namjoon, Yoongi and Tae are the best flatmates, Enemies to Lovers I guess... more like brats to making out in the storage unit, OFC is an idiot.

Summary:

"Wow. Is that that grumpy artist behind you? Jesus. He really looks like a bit of a dick. And you are right. He really is hot..." Oh no. Speakerphone. Namjoon was standing behind me and was staring at me. Then at my phone. He let out a little laugh, then raised his hand to wave at Tae and Yoongi outside who were now also staring at him as if frozen, before turning around in unison. As if that would help. As if he couldn't see them. Or better even... couldn't hear them.

[...]

Mister Darcy has nothing on Kim Namjoon - that new and upcoming artist you probably already heard of (You haven't? How dare you? At least have the decency to pretend you have!). He is cold, serious, and rather good at making other people believe he is a prick. Especially Elizabeth Bennet - uh... Charlotte - is about to lose it because of him. Maybe in a good way. Man, I'd literally piss him off on purpose.

More chapters on AO3

CHAPTER 1

Even the sound of my own nails rhythmically tapping on the top of the counter was annoying me. To be fair, it didn't need much today to blow my fuze that had never been particularly long in the first place. But after a week consisting of being belittled by old white men and endless hours of unpaid overtime I about had it. Welcome to the art world. You know well before you enter that the hours are horrible and the job market is more than frustrating, but you love art and you have good organisational skills, you are resilient, charming when it counts and tend to romanticize things even when you know you shouldn't. It's too late to turn around now.

"That is why I don't use an agenda or notebook. If something is important enough for me to attend I simply won't forget. I know you youngsters are all about the bullet journaling and expressing yourself by mapping out your life but it really is just another way to procrastinate instead of getting to actual work." For a second I considered throwing my damn notebook in the buyer's face, but that probably wouldn't have helped my CV and the new job I would have to look for starting tomorrow. At least I should have screamed at him a little. Mainly, that I didn't care, that I was on my period and my shitty shower in the shitty flat i shared had broken and no dry shampoo in the world had fixed my hair this morning and that god damn it, how the hell was I supposed to remember every phone number, every call my boss had to take, every art handling transport I had organized if I couldn't write it down somewhere. Instead, I smiled. Died a little on the inside and complimented him on the gift of his exceptional memory and asked whether he would like another cup of coffee.

"What a dick." Samantha murmured, more to herself than me, after the guy had finally left, which made me snort under my breath. She usually didn't say much but when she did it was usually pure gold. In the end, it didn't matter that he was. Didn't matter that everyone at the gallery thought the art he had bought from us over the last couple of months had neither been smart nor impressive purchases. Mainly expensive. And flashy.

"Doesn't matter now." I said in a sigh after a quick glance at the clock. It was Friday night and we were about to close. Since it was my birthday on Monday I had taken two days off, about the longest break I had had this year and I was looking forward to being the lazy slob for a few days I was maybe always meant to be. In silence we answered a few last emails, tidied up the desks and counters so that potential buyers that would come in over the weekend wouldn't have to suspect anyone was actually working here. - A white desk. A huge Imac on it. That was all they needed to see, folders and pens and apparently especially agendas to be hidden away in drawers.

At five to eight I threw on my coat and Samantha just gave me a tired smile. Probably happy for me, just exhausted. "Have fun then? Don't get too wasted?" "Oh..." I said with a huge smug grin on my lips. "You have no idea... gonna take a bottle of Moët with me from the bar and drink it in my bathtub after eating a huge pepperoni pizza by myself and dancing to only the finest of 90s Euro Trash." I couldn't help it, apparently, I felt it necessary to give Sam a little demonstration, waving my arms up and down while swaying my hips in a way that I'd probably would not have if it hadn't been for a bit with an audience of a single person. Or maybe two?

A quiet scoff behind me and I quickly turned around, slowly lowering my arms, Sam biting her lower lip at the sight of me standing there like an idiot in front of HIM of all people.

Men didn't have to be old to annoy me. Or white. Yes, those were the ones that pissed me off most usually, but no one had managed to do so as much as Kim Namjoon recently. And now he was standing there, looking me up and down and stopping at my hair. The crazy too-much-dry-shampoo-because-the-shower-broke-hair. "Nice." He just commented and then looked over at Sam. "I'd like to take a last look before Sunday's opening if that is okay?" I stood there, my shoulders dropping, completely ignored.

"Uhm, actually, my babysitter has to leave in about an hour and I will have to be home before that." Samantha replied and I was impressed by how calm she stayed. "Of course." Namjoon said and gave her a slight smile. "Anyone else still around? Chris maybe?" Of course Chris hadn't been in today. It was Friday and unless important guests had announced themselves the owner of the gallery wasn't around on Fridays... "I am afraid not. But maybe Charlotte has a few minutes?" Well. Thanks. Thanks a lot. I felt a little betrayed. "Wouldn't want to keep anyone from their important Moët-Pizza-Dance Party plans." Namjoon replied before I could say a word. His voice once more dropping to a hushed, deep disapproval and his hands buried in the pockets of his rather expensive looking coat. Silence for a few moments and then he just walked off towards the room his exhibition had been set up all week. Showing without a further word that I would have to stay anyways if he wanted it that way.

"Well thank you for pushing me under the bus like that. Really appreciate it." "I am so sorry. But I was serious, I can't lose this babysitter. She got Jamie to eat vegetables. VEGETABLES!" Samantha suddenly seemed in a rush, grabbing her jacket and purse and showering me in promises she would make it up to me. Even though we both knew that wouldn't happen and wasn't necessary. Suddenly having to stay longer was normal. I just hated that it had to be today. And because of him.

I heard the door close behind Sam and I stood there for a second before putting my bag down again. Usually, I would have followed the artist, asking if I could somehow help, but nahhh... my ego was bruised up enough now, especially remembering the little dance. I closed my eyes. Fucking hated the guy. Always had. Well, not quite. I had thought he was cool for about five minutes when he had come in the first time. We had heard about him for quite a few months before, I think I had even seen pictures of him at some point, but those were nothing compared to him in real life. He came in all cheekbones and sharp chin and an all grey outfit, quick pace, observant gaze. Incredibly hot. He had also completely ignored me.

That's how it had started - a bruised ego. He couldn't know that it was my weak spot. Having studied art and its management and now feeling like a better secretary at times, when my colleagues and I were doing all the behind the scenes work while Chris worked very little hours and ended up with all the money and recognition. I was aware this wasn't the only field of work where this was the case, but it still frustrated me... I had imagined my life in the last years of my 20s to be a bit more glamorous than living in a tiny apartment on the outskirts of the city... spending my Friday night waiting for some rude artist dude to leave so I could lock up.

But what I perhaps hated most about him... was that I admired him. - Purely for his art. Really. Even the fact that he kept acting as if I wasn't around every time he came in didn't mean I couldn't admit that. At least to myself. The stories behind his huge colleagues were clever and thought through, but even without context, the pure aesthetics were mesmerizing. It was the kind of art that touched something deep inside of you and standing in front of it I always had a hundred questions. Whenever he brought in a new piece I was the first one to sneak a peek in the back rooms before it was hung.

"I don't get why you have such a problem with him. He is just... quiet. I think he might even be shy... stop being so sensitive and just ask him out already." I had almost strangled Sam for that comment a couple of weeks back. Stop being so sensitive. What did that even mean? Comments like that made me want to cry and scream at the same time, which probably would have been perceived as even more sensitive, but when had insensitivity become something to strive for? I had only kept quiet because I liked Sam and I knew what she had tried to say. At least I thought so. That I might have given less of a shit if I hadn't been rather attracted to Namjoon. Even though I had never mentioned it, she just knew. She knew if I didn't care about something I didn't waste my time on it. But if something made me angry or upset there was usually more to it. I hated that she could read me that easily. But he was still a dick and I still wanted to go home.

He took his sweet time. After an hour I walked up to him, a little speech prepared in my head about how he could come back first thing tomorrow. But when he turned around he just raised a hand between us to keep me from interrupting and turned away again. I hadn't seen that he was on the phone. "No, it's nothing, just one of the gallery employees." I heard him say and okay... if I wasn't about to explode before I was now. I stood there for a minute, fuming, and then simply walked back to the office area, my hand shaking when I started turning off the gallery lights one by one. It wasn't as satisfying as I had hoped but still felt good. Two minutes later the only lights still on were the one above my head and the one in front of the door. I would at least give him a clear direction where to head, he seemed to need it.

When Namjoon appeared out of one of the dark corners he looked even more annoyed than usual. Looking my direction through squinting eyes and his tongue pushing against the inside of his cheek. "Seriously?" he yelled my way and almost walked into one of the little flyer shelves. Wasn't the first time I had seen that happen to him though so maybe that had nothing to do with the light.

I felt oddly triumphant. By the time I had put on my coat and turned off the remaining lights, ready to finally lock up, Namjoon had almost found his way, standing in the open door, still on his phone. A little groan from my side when he didn't even notice that I was standing behind me went by unnoticed. Or simply ignored. But instead of the appropriate clearing of the throat or the maybe less polite squeezing past him, I just put my hands on his back and gently pushed him forward a bit, until his feet hit the pavement and he turned around. Dropping his hand with the phone in it, for a second he looked like he wanted to push back. Or trample me.

"Okay, what the hell is your problem, Charlotte?" His voice was hoarse. His eyes dark. God, he was hot. I hated him so much. "You." I simply replied and stared at him for a second, then turned around and locked the two locks on the door before stepping over to the alarm system. I couldn't help feeling smug because apparently, he knew my name. I imagined him staring at the back of my head because he was flustered, but couldn't be sure. All I knew was that when I turned around again a minute later he was still standing there, his arms crossed in front of his chest, his lips pressed together forming a straight line and watching me.

"Do you always act like that at work around people who could get you into trouble?" He was right, he could get me into trouble. But I was too fired up now, my heart racing. "Is that a threat?" "An observation." "Only around the ones I don't like." "Cool." "Great." "Enjoy the dance party. Sounds shit."

And with those words he had turned around, coat flying open in the wind, unfortunately making him look really cool as he walked away and I ABSOLUTELY HATED HIM. I kept my mouth shut and just walked off in the other direction, realizing minutes later that my car was parked the other way, but I kept walking for a while before I finally turned around. It took a while to calm down and only cuddling up to my cat on the couch to trash tv finally did the job. But by then I had realized something I wasn't sure I liked too much. Yeah, I thought he was a prick. And yeah I should have just played it cool. Would have been much smarted in many regards. But I also had somewhat enjoyed myself in the most fucked up way.

Seeing that stern look, that intense posture as he was towering over me... man, I'd literally piss him off on purpose.

More chapters on AO3

[voxmortuus]

New Job | Chapter 2 - Did I Make A Mistake?

Billy Russo x F!Reader | Billy Russo x F!Plus-Sized Reader

Punisher Fanfic

TW: Angst, Questionable thoughts and ending actions, Angry Billy Russo, dominant Billy

Gif by @sun-summoners

This was it, the start to your new life, something you thought you would never do. After quitting your job after your meeting yesterday with Mr. Russo you had a new thought process, a new way of thinking, especially after how he handled that secretary of his. A part of you felt better than working as his secretary, but at the same time, one must start somewhere right? With a small sigh, you dress for work, putting on your best modest outfit for work. A black skirt that hits above the knee, a deep red silk blouse, a couple buttons undone at the top, your hair pulled back into a tightly slick ballerina type bun and a pair of your favorite black heels.

Sitting in the mirror doing your makeup you check your teeth and give yourself a once over before you stand up and brush your hands over your skirt. Looking around you grab your long black wool trench coat and your briefcase filled with notebooks, pens, and a few odds and ends, and your favorite breath mints and a purse and head to the curb for your car that Billy had sent for you. You look around and the driver tells you to get in as he holds open the door.

"Ms. Y/LN, Mr. Mr. Russo sent this for you, time to get to work." he tells you holding open the back door. Nodding you get into the vehicle and place your stuff on the seat next to you and you wait, almost panicked. You never liked the first day of work, it always made you nervous, but you were excited about this, something new in your life was good you tell yourself. You hoped you wouldn't fuck it up, that was the last thing you needed.

Getting into the office you notice you were there before he was, so that was a good start. Little did you know how this day was truly going to go. You looked over the phone took down the voicemails from the night before, and jotted down names and numbers along with their messages. You started a pot of coffee and flipped through the files on the desk putting them in the appropriate places and taking the appropriate measures for what was needed in the instructions left on the desk.

Taking a seat at the desk you look at the clock, 1 minute until the boss comes in. With a small breath you get his coffee ready and the files ready in your grasp. You stand waiting, hearing his voice you let out a heavy breath. He walks past you, saying nothing. You follow behind handing him his coffee, his files, and the messages from the night before.

"Good Morning Mr. Russo, I have your cof--"

"That'll be all."

"But I ha-" I said that will be all, he snarled.

Your brow furrows as you leave the office closing the door softly to be sure not to trigger anything. Letting out a breath you take a seat. He just seems so angry. You hear your mother's voice in your head. "He's upset, angry, pent up, you know how men get when they're pent up. They get pissy, prissy, snippy, and unruly. Blow him, girl sometimes that's the only way to get where you want in life." You shake your head and try to not listen in on his conversation but it's rather difficult not to when he's yelling.

"For fuck sake! I didn't agree to that!" he snarled slamming down his phone. "CAMILLE!" He yelled. You didn't move. "COME NOW!" he yelled again.

Standing you clear your throat. "Y/N, Mr. Russo, my name is Y/N." You remind him.

"Whatever, cancel my meetings for today." He tells you.

"Yes Mr. Russo." You respond.

"Sir." He snaps.

"Excuse me?" You question walking away.

"It's Yes. Sir." He snarls lowly.

You don't say anything and walk out. Slamming your hand on the desk but not hard enough for him to hear you take a seat in the chair and let out a heavy breath shaking your head you fix your shirt a moment before looking down at your nails and sit there behind your desk staring at a blank screen. The phone rings. You answer it.

"Sorry, but he's canceled that meeting today. He didn't give me a reschedule date, I am sure Mr. Russo will contact you with the appropriate date." The man on the other end snaps at you telling you that it was a major inconvenience and that you should find another line of work because clearly, you don't know what you're doing. You slam the phone down and you stand up and walk to the bathroom and lock the door.

Breaking down you shake your head wondering if this was the biggest mistake you could make for yourself. After 20 minutes you head back to your desk and take a seat fixing your makeup a bit you close your eyes and you jump a moment as he flings open his door.

"Y/N... where were you?" he asks his tone of voice stern.

"The bathroom Mr. Russo." You respond.

"You left the phone unattended..." He states.

"My apologies, I will put it to voicemail next time." You respond.

"Do you want this job Y/N? Like really really want it?" He asks looking you over. Noticing your blouse open a bit, and he eyes you, before making his way back to your face.

"Yes Mr. Russo." You respond.

"Then I suggest you start doing it."

"Yes Mr. Russo." You softly respond.

He turns and walks away. You have no idea why today is the way it is, you haven't done anything wrong, you've done exactly what was expected of you. You went as far as making his fucking coffee. You chalk it up to just being one of those days. You close your eyes and shake your head and pull out your cell phone and send your mother a text.

I think my new boss hates me.

You told me he loved your forwardness.

I know, but today is such a shit day. I am being yelled at, ridiculed, and questioned on if I even want my job.

Is he married?

Mom what?

Is. He. Married?

No mom, Jesus.

Get on your knees. Trust me. It isn't because he's your boss, he's clearly sex-deprived.

Thanks, Mom.

Now your response was sarcastic, but what if she had a point? You look back at the door, tilting your head. Looking down at the clock and shake your head. Going against the suggestion of your mother you keep quiet, answer the phones. Looking at the clock, forwarding phone calls, he had kept you alone the rest of the day.

Looking at the door you are putting things where they belong for the end of the night and he calls you into his office. Walking in.

"Yes Mr. Russo?" You ask

"Meetings rescheduled?"

"Yes, except one, you didn't give me a date for that one." You respond.

"I will take care of it. Tomorrow, I want you in my office, bent over my desk, present yourself to me. You are to wear exactly what I send you home that is in the back of the car. You are to go home, shave, take care of yourself, lotion up, and I expect you to me smooth and clean shaven again touched up and smooth to the touch when I get in here. You are to wear only what is provided to you and that alone, am I clear?" he asks you looking over you, almost undressing you with his eyes.

"Umm."

"Did I stutter? No. Am. I. Clear Y/N?" He asks you one last time.

Biting your lip you nod. "Yes Sir." you slip closing your eyes letting out a soft breath you think about what he had to say, and you look down at yourself and close your eyes.

"You are free to go." He states watching you walk away.

You go to your desk after closing the door and your face is hot, you're flushed and unsure how to respond not quite registering what just happened in the conversation. You gather your belongings and head down to the car. Getting in there is a bag, inside the bag is a deep red dress, a pair of red lace panties and a matching bra, and a pair of black heels and his choice of perfume. Letting out a breath before you know it the door is open.

"Have a pleasant evening Ms. Y/LN." The driver responds and you look at him and smile before stepping out with the bag and your belongings thanking him you walk to your apartment heading up to your floor you think about what happened back at work and admittingly you got excited about how forward he was, biting your lip you do exactly what he told you to do, shower, shave, lotion, you slip into your robe, opting for leftovers for dinner and a glass of red wine and you sit on your balcony watching the city, thinking about him in ways that would make the innocent blush, and thinking about what tomorrow may hold, and how that will change the aspect of your work.

[amyscascadingtabs]

don’t want to keep secrets just to keep you [chapter 2]

CHAPTER TWO: see me in hindsight, tangled up with you all night

excerpt below, read whole thing on ao3

Amy doesn't return to the office until after she's spent a good hour at home. First, she showers, washing off yesterday's old makeup and grime and letting the warm water run over her shoulders as she lets the sweet scent of raspberry shower gel replace the vague smell of old beer and sweat. Her back is sore; probably thanks to Jake's lumpy mattress, she thinks, and wonders for a second if she should add buy new mattress to the contract before deciding it’s far too much. That's relationship stuff, and that's point one of the contract; that's not what this is.

She blow-dries her hair and replaces her makeup, taking extra care to try and cover a pink mark that sits just a little too high on her chest before giving up and picking a different shirt instead. Then she fills the biggest coffee cup she has, eats a buttered slice of toast standing up, and feeds her pet fish before rushing back out the door.

She probably looks fresher than most days once she's done, but she's still worried Gina can sense something from her secretary desk as Amy walks in. She raises a brow in greeting like she's actually interested, which is rare in itself, and Amy can feel her eyes on her as she walks into her own office and closes the door behind her.

Amy starts regretting her decision as soon as she's opened a new document. What is she even supposed to name it? Friends with benefits contract is too obvious. FWB-C sounds like code for something. Sex agreement makes her sound like someone who’s read Fifty Shades Of Grey too many times (which really is just once). Jake and Amy is a wedding invitation, Rules too general. She puts her head in her hands, staring at the blinking line, and groans. Then she writes in Jake, looks at that for a moment, and adds stuff after. Not her proudest, but it'll have to do.

Amy’s relieved she doesn't have much work to do today, because she spends every free minute she can come across tweaking details on the document, adding and removing sections to suggest. When she's finally happy with the result, she saves it in a personal folder she can be sure no one’s ever going to open, and praises the office-gods for the fact that she has her own printer.

~

There’s a faint smell of artificial lemon in the air of Jake’s apartment as he welcomes her in, and the thought that he might have cleaned for her makes Amy blush. It seems unlike him, but the living room area does appear less cluttered to her than it did this morning, so maybe he isn’t totally incapable of it. She still doesn’t want to check his cabinets.

“You cleaned,” she says instead, nodding to the couch that looks almost neat now. “You expecting to get lucky tonight, or something?” Jake’s cheeks turn an adorable shade of pink, but then he shakes his head and points to her outfit. “You’re one to speak.”

All Amy’s done is put on a maroon floral blouse with lower cleavage than she’d ever do for work and put on a touch of pink lipstick, but he’s not completely wrong. She still chooses to ignore him. “I’ve got the contract. Should we do this, then?”

He offers her an orange soda, which she declines, but accepts a mug of Earl Grey tea from a package that seems to have remained unopened since before the brand last changed its design. A hot drink might calm her nerves, she hopes, but it ends up being quite the distracting experience to watch him make it for her. She tries to read through the contract one last time while searching for spelling errors she knows aren't there, her eyes keep being drawn to his hands as he holds the label of the teabag between his thumb and index finger, bobbing the bag a few times with focus once he's finished pouring the water into a New York Knicks mug. It's hard not to think about how those fingers felt dancing across her skin yesterday, massaging the sides of her breasts and holding on to her inner thighs, and it's harder not to imagine what they'd feel like another time –

“Tea,” he interrupts her thoughts by placing the mug in front of her. “Thought maybe you wanted a cup that didn’t say NYPD on it.”

“Well, you're right in that.” She brings it to her lips, almost burning her tongue and hoping he didn't see. “You want to read it on your own, or should I read it to you?”

Jake sits back in the massage chair closest to her, spreading his legs and putting his palms on them before shooting her that disarming smile again. “You read it.”

Amy swallows hard. “Okay. Section one: relationship status. This arrangement only works if we're both single. We’re not bringing more people into this.”

“What about an open relationship?”

“No. Still complicated. This is complicated enough with just us. If either of us gets in an actual relationship, it's over.”

Jake nods. “Cool. Next rule?”

“Section two: appropriate behavior. We're not dating,” she says, pointing first at herself and then at him with the ballpoint pen she brought from work. “So we can't behave like we're dating. Outside of our apartments, we're strictly friends. Or acquaintances. Honestly, it's weird we're even friends.”

“But you admitted we're friends.”

“Sure.” She takes another sip of the tea. “But that means no public flirting, no inappropriate comments, no like, commenting heart or fire emojis on Instagram pictures –”

“Are these rules for you or for me?” Jake winks. “I know my selfies are stunning, but I’m sure you can control yourself.”

“For both of us. Section three: we part in the morning. No exceptions. Staying overnight is okay, but once we wake up, we’re done.”

“What counts as morning in this scenario? I’m not going to have to get up at six a.m., am I?”

“Not unless you stay at my place when I have work.”

“I’ll remember not to do that, then.”

“Great. Section four – protection.”

“You have an entire section on that?” Jake looks like he’s trying not to laugh.

“It’s important!” She exclaims, feeling herself getting defensive. “I have an implant, so we’re safe from pregnancy, but it’s either condoms or you need to get checked.”

Jake nearly spits out some of his orange soda, coughing slightly. “You must be fun at parties.”

“I’m actually a nationally accredited and registered chaperone.”

“What is that?”

“Doesn’t matter. Are you going to do it or not?”

“Fine. You, then?”

“I will if you want me to.” Amy shrugs. “But I haven’t slept with anyone since my ex, so we should be good.”

Jake’s eyebrows fly up. “Really?”

“That so surprising to you?”

“A little? In the least jerk-ish way possible, you must get, well… offers.”

“People don’t flirt a whole lot with their lawyers,” she says, shifting in her chair and crossing her legs. “And it hasn’t been my focus. Are we good with the contract?”

“Actually, I want to add one more rule.”

“Yeah?”

Jake leans back in his chair, crossing his arms behind his head and flexing his biceps through the green shirt with a smug grin. “You’re not allowed to fall in love with me.”

Amy looks at him for a moment, trying to determine whether or not he’s joking, but he doesn’t waver, so she leans forward and draws a fifth section sign on the blank space left on the document. No developing feelings or this ends, she prints out in capital letters, signing her name on the allotted line.

“Won’t be a problem.”

Jake signs the contract, and Amy tries not to grimace at how messy his signature is as she places the document in a thin plastic folder, promising him a copy tomorrow.

“Cool,” Jake nods. He’s messing up his curls with his right hand again, the way she’s noticed he does when he’s trying to flirt. She wonders if it’s strategy or nerves. “So, are you doing anything else tonight, or...”

“What, contract signing’s got you all hot and bothered?”

“I mean, seeing you in full lawyer mode. It’s not, not hot.”

“Double negation?” Amy scrunches her nose. “Oh, you’re going to have to make that one up to me.”

“Maybe I will,” he says, and she needs only to notice the way his eyes darken to know that it’s on.

Amy can feel her legs still shaking a little as she hails a cab outside Jake's apartment just after, and she closes her eyes in the backseat and wonders how it's possible to feel this amazing, this satisfied from a cocktail of what she knows is mostly dopamine and oxytocin. It still makes her feel all giggly, like she can't stop smiling to herself.

Her phone vibrates in her pocket, and she picks it up to read a text from Jake.

Fucking hell that was SO GOOD.

Maybe this friends with benefits thing won't be so bad after all.

~

[hitoshisbabygirl]

Author's Notes ♡: Hello hello! Here’s my POCuties collab piece for Valentine’s Day. Even though today sometimes makes me feel unloved please know everyone is deserving of love and even if you don’t have someone this year, you can have me! I love you and so do your favs okay? (✿◠‿◠) ~ bunny ❥

Warnings : none! Just very sweet (a bit of the reader feeling like a burden to tamaki so a touch of sadness here and there)

Word count : 2.1k

Paring(s) : Tamaki Amajiki x F! Reader (fem pronouns)

Enjoy ♡

———————————————————————

Forever // T. Amajiki

Being with Tamaki for a few years taught his lover a lot. She saw more sides of him than most, and it made her heart swell to see the usually quiet boy happy and determined when he accomplished something he was trying for or when he was down she knew just how to cheer him up.

As the day drew on she realised just how much she loved him and how much she wished for him to be home, to give him a big kiss as he came through the door, knowing that his day was long, plagued with paperwork and patrols. Hearing the door open she saw her tall boyfriend enter, hood over his eyes as he let out a sigh, stretching as he felt his body being encased by his girlfriend “Hello butterfly how was your day” His low voice spoke out as she gave him a bright smile “It was nice heaving the day off but i missed you Tama” she pouted as he gave her a chuckle, kissing her forehead “I missed you too, the office was a bore without my adorable secretary” Moving into their shared apartment Tamaki saw food already laid out in front of him “I ran you some bath water too” [ ] called out as she rounded the wall separating the kitchen and living room “Y-you didn't have to do that love im-” A finger silenced his pleas “Let me take care of you okay? You need your rest and i didnt want you to worry about anything coming home except relaxing and cuddling with me okay?” [ ] said as she stood on her tippy toes, kissing the top of his cheek “Tamaki Amajiki we have been doing this for years, won't you please let me love you without trying to outdo me ; you deserve it, you're a wonderful hero, you're my hero and eventually...you'll be our family hero..once we have one..” She trailed off as he stared at her, watching a sadden face appear over her features. Shaking it off as soon as it had appeared she gave him another smile “Its alright. There's no rush, i'm here for the long haul , me and you okay?” she said as she let his face go , heading to the couch “Now go go, hurry up before the food gets cold.” She teased as he gave her a soft look, coming over to kiss her cheek “Okay i wont argue butterfly”

These little things stuck with him, her caring ways, cooking for him, cleaning his office while hed be gone, even doing some of his paperwork while he was on parole. He loved her so much and enjoyed all of the little things here and there she did for him. He ddi the same, and each time made her cry, not out of being upset but for how caring he was to her. Bringing her roses, making sure she didnt have to cook if he could help it, spa days and doing more crafts and bonding with her whenever they could. But he realized while she helped him with so much he felt like he struggled. She struggled with her own issues too, similar to his. Sometimes she felt like she wasnt enough, she had her own anxieties and could get in a sup when she felt inadequate, unlovable and unwanted. But to him, to tamaki he loved everything about her, and she was one of the strongest people he knew. He felt motivated and glad to have her as the one he wished to marry , to have kids with, to start a family. But that also broke his heart when the topic came up she did usually didnt talk much about it, happily making plans but going back on them by saying ‘if i was a good mother’ She didnt want to dissapoint their future kids, didnt want to be a lacking mother or wife. As usual Tamaki came home, but htis time he went past the wonderful smelling food in the kitchen and to their bedroom, his cute girlfriend wrapped up in a blanket “How are you feeling butterfly?” He asked as she gave him a smile, reaching over to hug him “Im oaky! Just a bit overwhelmed is all, im sorry i passed out during the meeting..” She said as she gave him a hurt look before continuing “I shouldve tried harder to stay and present with you i-” Before she could finish he gave her a kiss, stopping her words “You needed rest. Im still surprised you got up to cook, did you at least take a nap love?” He asked as she shook her head , causing him to smile “Good. i love you butterfly and i woudnt change that for the world” he said as she smiled, giving him a hug “I’d hope so” She giggled as he pouted “Never doubt my love for you [ ], no matter what im gonna be here, i promise okay?” he said as she nuzzled the boy, kissing his nose “ And i for you Tamaki”

February came in , the happy couple had started up to take more time off to do more things and enjoy eachothers presence in the month of love. As the days went by Tamaki noticed [ ] was having odd days. From sleeping long hours of the day to just crying randomly, he knee something was wrong. Coming from the store he heard sobbing from their bathroom. Terrified , he tried to enter only feeling the door being locked “[ ] baby whats wrong? Can i come in?” with no response he nervously knocked again. “[ ] please...whats wrong” He pleaded as the door unclicked, showing his still beautiful but tear stained cheeked girl. “T-tama..” She cried as she just jumped into his arms, scaring the indigo haired boy “Baby are you okay?” he asked as she took in a breath before smiling sadly “Y-yeah i am..” She said as he picked her up, taking them into the living room. “I love you..and whatever is making you feel like this..if i can help let me okay?” Tamaki said as [ ] shook her head, placing it into his shoulder as they fell asleep.

Every day from her breakdown Tamaki came to her office with a rose, ate lunch with her and made sure she was hydrated and well. Once the week of valentines day came up, he had his plan set in motion. He had their schedules fixed, the week off for themselves as they did different things. A spa day the first day, a picnic the next, shopping at an expensive store for clothes. Then an art day where they drew (or tried to ) eachother and made art fro and about the other. Once the day of Valentines came however, it was different. It started with them taking a shower together, Tamaki cooking breakfast in bead for [ ] as they talked through the morning. Tamaki told her the outfits they ha gotten the days prior was for tonight which gave [ ] the jitters. She was excited for what her pro hero boyfriend had instore for them. Once they got to the restaurant all eys were on them. [ ]’s long black dress falttereed tamakis white suit and black bow tie. The two of them sat and started to eat, coversating with some fans who so happend to be around thwm. One was a small girl with wide hopeful eyes. She came to the couple with her mom in toe “Im so sorry to interrupt you two, my daughter wouldnt let mt husband and me rest until she came over to you guys” the wmoan laughed, causing bothe members to smile “Hello there how are you?” Tamaki asked the girl as she stepped from behind her mother “ H-hi my name is Shiemi a-and i really like you suneater!” The small girl said , causing [ ] , Tamaki and her mom to smile “Why thank you Shiemi, i hope im a good hero for you” Tamaki responded as the little girl shook her head “The best! Youre so cool. A-and your wife is pretty like mama! I like you dress miss suneater” The girl said , causing [ ] to stutter as she sipped her water “O-oh why thank you Shiemi but Im-” before she could continue she saw her boyfriend give the woman and her daughter a wide smile “She is, inst she?” He said as he turned to [ ] , moving from his chair “Tama what are you-” [ ] asked again as he leaned to the little girls ear , then to the mothers as they both gave him a smile, the woman happily shaking her head as her daughter followed the hero. Confused, [ ] watched as he picked the little girl up, putting her atop of the bar table “Hey everyone! Suneater has an announcement!” she yelled as most people turned around or to the table in the middle of the room, watching and smiling at the energetic child and pro hero “In fact I do, [ ] would you mind standing?” Tamaki asked as she gave him a wide eyed look, standing as he gave her a smile, extending and hand to her as she joined his side

“H-hey guys , as you know um..this si my lovely girlfriend and partner [ ]” He started as she gave everyone in the room a wary smile, her face feeling hot as he continued “ Ive known her for years, and weve been dating for some of those, she's seen me through thick and thin, helped me out in a pinch and made me feel like the strongest man alive, well next to almight…” he whispered as some of the people laughed, more paying them attention “And through all of this….i could think of a more beautiful and right person to spend the rest of my life with” And with the the young child handed the now kneeling man a ring as some whooped and hollered, others recording as both [ ] and the girls mother had tears in their eyes “[ ] [ ], the love of my life, my butterfly, i couldnt think of a more beautiful person inside and out to be with, will you give me the honor and make me the happiest man on this earth to be my wife?” He asked as the ring was revealed, diamond glistening as his own tear filled eyes looked to hers. Thinking her voice would fail her she shook her head yes, causing the room to yell as she had her ring put on her finger , jumping to hug her standing fiance as they hugged and cried, video of the engagement spreading as he thought to himself ‘I can now have my family, my endless love with you my dear butterfly’

As their wedding came , all of their friends and family came, including the new found friends of the young Shiemi and her parents. The ceremony went though flawlessly, Shiemi being their flower girl as the newlyweds ran down the easel , heading for their limo as they herded for the reception. The family spoke on how happy they were from their marriage, friends giving their comments on how they knew the couple would get married as the couple laughed at some stories and comments about their relationship. The night ended with so much love and joy for the new couple, startint their life together\

Two years went by before valentines day came again, three years to the day he had proposed arrived. Happily and ready to celebrate Tamaki woke up to his wife missing, hearing her fumble in the bathroom. Heading to the room he was shocked to she her in a disarray , eyes foggy as she met his “Tama...i have a surprised” She said as her teras fell down her face. Confused and still a bit tired , he gave her a look as she handed him a blue and while stick. The word pregnant snapped him awake as more tears started to fall, handing him two and three more all with the same small but powerful word “Im..gonna be a dad?” He asked as she smiled, shaking her head as she hugged the trembling girl “T-tama i'm gonna be a mom..what if i'm not good enough…” She sobbed as he cooed her, kissing her lips as his tears fell with hers “You're gonna be great Butterfly, i promise, you're gonna be so so great” He said as his heart swelled feeling her lips against his ‘This...This is forever , a love i wished for...and i couldn't have asked for more of a way to live my life...i love you butterfly’

[chubbyreaderwriter]

Jealousy Pt1

Thor x Plus Size/Chubby Reader

Imagine: Everyone seems to know about Thor’s crush on you, except you. How will he react when you start crushing on and dating some other guy?

Word Count: 1.6k 

Warnings: none, unless you count a jelly and moody Thor. 

Masterlist

You weren’t an Avenger but you were Tony’s personal assistant so you were very close to the team and hung out with them all the time, mostly because Tony demanded that you join them. You found yourself a best friend in Thor and when he wasn't dealing with business in Asgard, the two of you were almost inseparable. After Jane, the others weren't sure if Thor would ever be interested in ‘mortal’ women but you seemed to change his mind. Everyone on the team soon clicked on about how Thor felt about you. It was easy to tell when you were as close to each other as the Avengers were but you didn’t find it so easy to tell whenever someone was acting different or strange. 

Natasha was your other close friend, the two of you and Wanda often having girls nights, sometimes with Pepper but she rarely had any free time so she wasn't around very often. Natasha would often try to hint at Thor having feelings for you but you just thought she was joking because of how close the two of you were. Wanda would do the same but you never really took it to heart. Besides, you didn't think a tall, handsome man, a literal god, like Thor would ever be interested in you, a chubby glorified secretary. 

At first the team found it more than amusing to watch Thor try to get your attention in more intimate ways, watching him pine after you, but now it was just plain annoying. It was distracting the whole team because he was the kind of person who just had to tell everyone about his problems, even if they didn't ask in the first place. Natasha needed to get the two of you together because she was going to kill Thor if she had to hear how good your hair smelled one more time, or how sexy your ass looks in a skirt. 

It was the monthly girls night and you, Natasha and Wanda were soon to be heading out to a club that Natasha had recommended. Natasha was the one who usually found places to go to, with you and Wanda not really being very well known with the street life of New York. Natasha didn't like to drink that much so she was always the designated driver of your get togethers. You were currently stood in front of your wardrobe mirror in just your bra and panties, holding two dresses up against your body, torn between which one to choose. 

Natasha sighed when she walked into your room, “Come on, принцесса, by the time you finally decide on what to wear, we’ll have to leave before we step inside.” She was wearing an off shoulder form fitting black dress that went down to just above her knees and had a small side slit that went up her left thigh. You were holding a plain black dress that went down to your knees and was long sleeved in one had, which was your ‘safe’ dress. The other was an outfit that Natasha had gotten you for your birthday; a grey snake print shirt and black leather shorts. You really wanted to wear the outfit but you didn't feel like you could pull it off. 

Natasha saw the two options and immediately reached forward to rip the black dress out of your hands and throw it to the other side of the room, “There’s no way you are wearing that for the tenth time when you haven't worn my gift once. You’re wearing that shirt and those shorts or no more girls night.” You pouted a little, whining like a small child while Natasha smirked and crossed her arms over her chest, glad that you were finally going to wear something that would actually flatter your body instead of covering it up. 

After you had gotten dressed in the shirt and shorts, Natasha picked out a pair of knee length high heeled grey boots to complete the look. You let her do your makeup, she liked using you as a guinea pig, experimenting looks on you that you were too scared to try yourself. “All done, you look amazing.” You blushed a little and stood up, looking at yourself in the mirror and you let out a tiny squeal from how good you thought you looked, feeling very confident for once. Natasha grinned and took your phone and keys, putting them in her purse. After you lost them more than a few times, Natasha didn't trust you to keep them on your person. 

The two of you were meeting Wanda in the living room on the main floor before heading out. You were practically bouncing with excitement over how the others were going to react to your outfit, hoping they were going to love it as much as you do. Natasha walked in front of you and then coughed a little louder than necessary to discreetly get everyone’s attention onto you, who walked in behind her. Everyone kind of froze for a second and Sam was the first one to speak, “God damn girl, you’re looking fine as hell. Where have you been hiding that?” You blushed but was secretly hoping that everyone was going to keep showering you in compliments, it wasn't everyday you felt this good about your body. 

Steve was blushing a little but managed a small, “You look good (Y/N)” behind his glass of water. Tony smirked at you and said, “If only I wasn't engaged to Pepper, we’d have some good times.” You could tell he was only joking with you but it still made you blush a little. Wanda had gasped at the sight of you and then proceeded to tell you how gorgeous she thought you were, mixing English with Ukrainian phrases. The only other person there was Thor and when you glanced his way, he was staring at you with his mouth open a little and there was something about the way he was looking at you that made you feel a little hot under your clothes but you ignored it. 

Natasha and Wanda looked at each other then between you and Thor. The red headed assassin smirked, “Have a good night boys, we’re off to find (Y/N) a man.” She gave Thor a pointed look and knew that he wasn't listening based the way his eyes were glued to your ass as you started to walk away. She rolled her eyes, along with Tony and Sam before hurrying to catch up with you and Wanda. 

The club you were in right now wasn't too bad but it wasn't one of your favourites that Natasha had dragged you to in the past. It wasn't as packed as the others but you liked that, not wanting to push your way past fifty people every time you wanted a drink from the bar. Natasha and Wanda had pulled you onto the dance floor as soon as you entered and the three of you had slowly separated but since you’d had a couple drinks, you weren't that bothered about being around strangers. You were unusually sociable once you’d had a few drinks. 

You were smiling and having fun when you felt a pair of hands grab your hips from behind. You leaned back a little to feel a hard chest behind you and you spun around to see one of the most attractive men you’ve ever seen. He had longish blonde hair pulled back into a bun, blue eyes and a beard. He was tall and you could see how muscular he was even through his clothes. It didn't cross your mind that he looked very much like a certain thunder god back at home. Normally, you probably would’ve blushed and pushed him away to go find Natasha and Wanda before asking to go home but tonight you were feeling a little more daring. 

You put your hands on his chest and watched him smirk at you. The two of you started to talk to each other and you learned that his name was Lucas and that he was an astrologist who worked at a university close by. The two of you spent almost three hours together, splitting it between grinding on the dance floor and talking at the bar. The whole time, Natasha and Wanda had been watching with mixed feelings. They were happy that you had found someone you liked but then they would think about Thor and feel a little guilty. Oh well, Natasha thought, she could deal with that when the time comes to it. 

You gave Lucas your number when Natasha and Wanda decided it was time to go home when they saw you swaying a little too much for their liking. You were practically carried back to Stark Tower and they helped you to the main living room where Thor and Tony still were. You plopped down on the couch next to Thor, giggling when Natasha was taking off your boots for you. She never left you alone when you were drunk, sometimes when you were drunk, your anxiety acted up so Natasha and Wanda would always hang out with you until you finally fell asleep. 

Thor wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you closer. You decided that wasn't comfy enough and you laid down with your head in his lap. Thor played with your hair and chuckled at your drunk state, “Did you have fun tonight?” You laughed a little and nodded, “I met Lucas~” Thor tensed and Natasha, Wanda and Tony glanced over at him to see his reaction. He clenched his jaw but you, of course, didn't notice anything, “Who’s Lucas?” 

To be continued...

[marnie1964]

Karate Kid/Cobra Kai survey

i'm gonna consider myself tagged

It’s the year 2021 and you’re obsessed with The Karate Kid. How are you feeling?: an unexpected turn of events but it's passing the quarantine, i guess!

Did you grow up with TKK or are you new to the series?:  to be completely honest, i don't really like the movies? i didn't vibe with them as a kid and when i went back and tried to watch them this year i couldn't make it all the way through.* i think they're well crafted movies, but i've never liked relatable young boy wish fulfillment (i couldn't even get thru harry potter as a kid), and i think the first one is guilty of burying the lede twice over with regards to mr. miyagi and later the relationship between kreese and johnny. and lucky me--these are exactly the areas that cobra kai delivers on.

*except for the third one, which imo is a camp masterpiece and also genuinely heartbreaking. it's the only one that allows daniel to be an genuine pain in the ass. i think i've finally figured out what the target audience for cobra kai is: people who's favorite karate kid movie was tkk3 (me).

We gotta do the basics. Favorite character: johnny! what is a man but a miserable pile of bruce springsteen lyrics? or aimee mann lyrics? or mountain goats lyrics? or otis redding lyrics? or--fuck, have americans ever written songs about anyone else? i have an unreal amount of good will towards this man and his late-life struggle for recuperation. he's the heart of the show both in terms of his relationships with other characters and in terms of zabka's chemistry with the other actors.

my deep dark double secret fave is kreese. he makes me feel real anger in a way that's usually reserved for characters in vince gilligan shows. i'm a bit obsessed with him and his preoccupation with johnny and later johnny's teenaged son (I Have Thoughts). the show does a great job of making what he did to johnny--and all the years and years and years of fallout from that--feel really real, which makes him one of the most viscerally despicable villains i've ever come across . it's unironically among the best portrayals of domestic abuse i've seen, may god have mercy on our souls. the decision to pop out from behind a fucking cardboard cutout of himself to scare daniel in tkk3 was also a hilarious galaxy brain move. aspirational stuff.

also--shout out to daniel-san. the writers really had to work their asses off to make him into a character that appeals to me, and i think they did a great job of it. he's a cringey tool who's capable of displaying a surprising amount of integrity under the right circumstances! he's tom wambsgans! he's pete campbell! he's wonderful i love him!

Favorite ship:  johnny & daniel (what if mysterious skin was a sports comedy??)

Underrated character: the True and Correct answer to this question can only be aisha, although i don't think she was actually underrated by anyone besides the writers. chozen is also lowkey my favorite katate child because c'mon, he had everything (spear fights! ziplines! teen death matches! formfitting disco-era polyester button down shirts worn with gold chains!)

Underrated ship (don’t say therapy, lol):  uhhhh... the only teen couple that could have been interesting is tory/aisha. they were cute together and their friendship rang true to me. it's that thing where you're the new girl and you're conventionally attractive, but on the inside you know you're a freak so you immediately gravitate towards the most obvious female outsider. i lived it, bay-bey!

i also think there are interesting things to explore with carmen and johnny's relationship. i don't know if the writers are even aware of it (i lean towards no b/c men amirite) but the entire premise of carmen's character is that she chose to live in poverty to protect herself and her son from a bad man with power. she's thereby the exact opposite of johnny's mother, who (at least by his understanding) married hollywood film producer shmarvey shmeinstein to provide her son with a better life. so, there's a lot to unpack in his attraction to her. also they're super hot hur hur i like sexy nurse thing hur hur.

Wax On, Wax Off or Sweep the Leg?: i can't look directly at it, but sweep the leg. zabka what the fuck man.

Which of Daniel’s dumb little outfits is your favorite?:  i don't think i've seen anyone mention this one yet, but the football jersey with the sweatpants. it makes him look so small and huggable, i wanna pick him up and set him on my shelf or something.

Character from the films you most want to return, who’s not Terry Silver: bring back ali's lesbian girl gang!!! or else--dutch. he was funny and iconic, i loved his exaggerated offended reaction to everything daniel said or did in tkk. also, i'm tacky so i'm a sucker for aggressively bleach blonde hair. the SCANDALIZED wasp couple standing behind ali and johnny in the spaghetti scene will also do. or terry's secretary (an mvp--i believe the original actress has passed away so in my heart of hearts she's portrayed by j. smith-cameron).

Scene that lives in your head rent-free: the whole character development speed run that johnny does from sweep the leg to crying while handing daniel the trophy to getting strangled in the parking lot by his beloved teacher. i'm especially transfixed by that last bit--what's the thought process of a man who decides to publicly execute his teenage student via strangulation? why did none of the many bystanders call the police? johnny is the real kitty genovese, prison for everyone.

from the cobra kai series proper: daniel's decision to greet johnny with a big hug after not seeing him for 35 years and never actually being friends with him (I Have Thoughts), the heinously creepy scene where johnny is repeating the cobra kai mantra for miguel and his entire disposition completely changes (demonic possession shit), and johnny's tiny go-ahead-and-kill-my-abuser nod (his face is so stoney after being so animated at dinner) coupled with daniel's shaky little sign of relief (macchio is really the cutest when he looks scared).

it goes without saying that every johnny & miguel scene lives rent free in my HEART.

Will Anthony LaRusso ever be relevant?: anthony becomes relevant for one (1) episode next season when amanda and daniel finally get around to putting him up for adoption.

You live in The Valley and are forced into the karate gang war.  Which dojo do you join?:  i enter the cobra kai dojo decked out in all of my snake-themed clothing and jewelry (it's a lot). i approach kreese and explain to him that the open mouth of a snake, viewed head-on, is a yonic symbol. i am permanently banned from the cobra kai dojo.

(seriously though, assuming i'm a teen in this scenario i think i would have vibed with tory/miguel/aisha. dimitri and sam would have driven high school me up the fucking wall though. the cobra kai style looks like more fun/better exercise. do i also genuinely believe most young girls could actually benefit from someone yelling no mercy down their neck? maybe so 💖)

What’s your training montage song?:  50ft queenie - pj harvey (it takes place in the alison bechdel feminist karate dojo ofc)

It’s the crossover event of the century! Which TV show are you combining with Cobra Kai for an hour-long Saturday night special?: it's a full episode flashback to the time johnny got arrested in albuquerque, new mexico. johnny's court-appointed attorney is a weirdly hot babe who seems like a super straight laced killjoy at first, but soon reveals herself to be an unhinged woman. one thing leads to another, and johnny winds up in bed with her and her loser husband. there are lots of great themes about punitive justice, people's ability to change for the better (and worse), and what makes someone "good" or "bad" to begin with, but mostly it's just really hot sex. the husband tries to sell johnny a prepaid cellphone and johnny tell's him that cellphones are never gonna catch on, cause who want's to be bothered by people all the time like that?

better call saul. it's a better call saul crossover ep.

(fwiw think that greg 'hbo succession' hirsch should also be terry's cousin greg on the non-roy side. think about it--the roys are small people, but cousin greg is really tall?? and who else is really tall, and a blue eyed brunette to boot? terry silver. it all adds up! this never becomes relevant to the plot, in any case, i'm just considering it canon until the writers come to my house and explicitly tell me i'm wrong.)

Tagging: anyone who's interested 😘

[enjennie]

Chapter 2 - Coffee Boy and a Chess Tournament

Chapter 1

Chapter 3 - Here

Word count: 2.5k

The girls were in a frenzy when they got to know about Yuri’s mystery coffee man. The girls in question would be Seoyun, Hyebin and Cho with the exception of Minjae, who had some student council business and ran off before they could have lunch together.

“Oh my, who could this be? Describe him to me once more,” Cho had her arm looped through Yuri’s as they walked out of the dining hall after having their lunch. Seoyun and Hyebin walked a few steps in front of them. Yuri couldn’t help but giggle, a week hasn’t gone by yet but a boy had already managed to catch her eye. She thought about his face for a moment, and started describing it to Cho. “Well, he had kind of a messy hair look. Had a varsity jacket on and wore all black underneath. Really bright eyes and oh don’t even get me started about his smile,” Yuri almost swooned.

Cho repeatedly starts hitting Yuri’s arm, uncontrollably giggling and shaking her by the shoulders. “He was wearing a varsity jacket? So he must be on the team!”

“Probably? I’m not sure which sport, though,” Yuri tells Cho, but Cho only shook her off. “There’s only one varsity team, silly. The Neos,” Cho explained, making big motions with her hands, but Yuri was no longer focusing on what she was saying when the mystery man himself had come striding in front of them.

Yuri hurriedly gets Cho’s attention by tapping on her arm and whispering, “That’s him! Over there,” Cho follows Yuri’s eyes and the two look onto the field that stretched acres. “No way,” Cho’s eyes widened, pulling her sunglasses down to make sure she was seeing correctly. “Na Jaemin?” the girl exclaimed. 

“Are you sure it’s him?”

Seoyun, Cho, Yuri and Hyebin were now sat on a picnic bench in the quad, huddled together and discussing the situation at hand. “It all makes sense, of course it’s him! I should’ve known when Yuri said coffee!” Cho facepalmed at her own ignorance.

Cho is the elite’s main source of information. She knows what’s the latest news about anyone within the campus. Knows where to get the best drugs, who’s throwing the parties, and where. She’ll get to know anything, all with one swipe on her phone.  Which is why she felt foolish for not thinking about Na Jaemin, Oakwood’s heartthrob and one of their elite members. The boy who can send any girl to their feet with one look.  “I just didn’t expect it… I don’t know why after Yeeun I didn’t think Jaemin had it in him to date,”

Yuri’s head turn in light of the information. “Yeeun, my roommate?”

Seoyun nodded, “The two dated for the first two semesters of freshmen year, then broke off when Yeeun and Jeno got caught hooking up at a party,” she explained to the dumbfounded girl. Yuri frowned, “Was that why-“

“That’s why I told you not to meddle with Jeno,”

“Did Yeeun and Jeno date then?”

“Yes, for a while. Like, two weeks a while. We’ve never seen Jaemin and Jeno be apart for so long we thought it was over for good, but I guess they worked it out in the summer since they’re pals again,”

Yuri’s head was spinning at this point. She hadn’t even met Yeeun yet, so she tried not to get her perception of her roommate get affected by the things she’s hearing about her.

 After a while, the group of girls pack it up and start heading back to the dorms when Cho receives a text regarding a party. “Of course, it’s one of Jeno’s parties. So he can fish out the girls he wants to play with for the year,” Minjae, who’d joined them a few minutes before, rolled her eyes. Cho and Hyebin on the other hand didn’t share her distaste for the male. “You can’t deny, Jeno throws the best parties,”

She couldn’t. It was true. But she was uninterested.

“11pm chess tournament, first 5th at the Lee Estate,”

Yuri blinked, registering the unfamiliar terms. “First fifth?”

Minjae put her arm around the girl as she elucidated to the somehow always clueless Yuri. “The first fifth would mean this Friday. We use codes like chess tournament or board games to talk about upcoming parties. We change it up every now and then, though. To prevent weasels,”

Yuri understood right away, but didn’t think there would be a need for these types of stuff.

“Isn’t college all about parties?” Yuri asked, matter of factly, humouring Minjae and Seoyun. “Then you came to the wrong school. Oakwood doesn’t allow parties, this is where rich families send their troubled children they don’t have time for. Discipline here is no joke,”

Yuri wondered how she never knew this about the school she’d done extensive research about before applying to.

The week flew by quickly, and soon enough Yuri found herself on the fifth of the week. She managed to survive all her classes and was pretty satisfied with how well she’s coping up. Despite being new to her surroundings, she’s only gotten lost in the campus twice. Which is a record, for newbies apparently. Hyebin told Yuri about her first time getting lost at Oakwood and she ended up at the teacher’s locker rooms. She recalled having to squat under a desk for hours, praying to god no one would use the desk she was under. Both girls had a laugh about it.

Today would be the party, but before that, they had to join orgs and clubs. Minjae, as student body secretary, already has the council as her club. Seoyun on the other hand, signed up for theater along with Renjun. Cho and Hyebin, were nowhere in sight which forced Yuri to go about club hunting on her own.

She’d thought about it for the whole week, however she wasn’t entirely sure yet. Originally, she would just join any orgs her friends were in but she can’t run for student body, and neither can she act so that was out of the question.

Yuri looked around her, flocks of people gathered in small and big groups, already looking like they were all familiar with each other. She dug her hands deep in her pockets and sighed before catching sight of somewhere that actually interested her.

Student Publication club, their banner was straight to the point and plain. A boy in a similar looking varsity as Yuri had seen Jaemin and Jeno wearing sat in front of the desk, beside him was Cho, who Yuri was glad to see. She walked towards them and waved when Cho’s eyes met hers.

“Yuri! Did you join a club yet?” Cho enthused. Yuri shook her head, and the boy beside Cho lifts his eyes from the paper he was reading.

“Depends, are you guys still hiring?” Yuri inspected the sign up sheet displayed on their table, which had a good amount of names scribbled on it already. Cho hands her a pen, “You’re so in. This is Mark, pub president,”

“I’d appreciate if you stopped calling our club a pub,” the said Mark scolds. “Nice to meet you I’m Mark Lee,” he stretched his hand forward and Yuri shook it. “Pleased to meet you, Mark,”

Mark has dark hair that fell over his forehead and round eyes that pierced through Yuri’s. He has high cheekbones and a nicely defined jawline. Mark flashes Yuri a smile and she’s stunned by it.

When will I stop getting surprised by all the hot boys that roam this school?

 “Hi, losers. How’s it going?” a boy with hair that resembled a lion’s mane had walked up to the table. He had full lips and cute cheeks.

“Speak for yourself, Donghyuck,” Cho retorts at the boy.

The boy faces Yuri, giving her a curt smile. “Oh, are you signing up? I got a tip for you… run now,” he says, before receiving a firm backhand smack from Mark who’d leaned over the table. Yuri laughed, watching the two boys wrestle. “It’s almost time. I reckon no one else wants to sign up, so what do you say we wrap up?” Cho nudges Mark and he agrees. “Yuri? Want to go together?”

“Sure,”

“Oh you’re the Yuri I’ve been hearing about. Hi, I’m Donghyuck, you can call me Hyuck for short,” the boy had gotten himself out of Mark’s headlock and fixed himself up. “The Yuri you’ve been hearing about?” Yuri asked.

Hyuck nods, “Renjun hit you with the soccer ball, right?” he chuckled and Yuri wanted to curl up into a ball right then and there. “Is that what I’m known for now?” Yuri scrunched her nose, cringing. Hyuck laughed, his eyes glimmered and he pats her shoulder as a form of consoling. “That’s fine, I was known as the bread boy last year… I shoved a whole roll into my mouth and the photos weren’t pretty,” he looked scornfully as he remembered his past.

Yuri’s lips curled into a smile and she laughed at Hyuck’s little story.

“Yuri, c’mon,” Cho pulls on Yuri’s arm and the two mutter a quick goodbye to each other before Yuri’s swept away.

“So you’ve met her,”

The boys were gathered in the field, by the bleachers. The soccer team was already their club, so they didn’t have to go club searching and signing up. Donghyuck and Mark had caught up to Jeno, Jaemin and Renjun who were sat, sharing a blunt.

“Yeah. You guys didn’t tell me she was that much of a stunner, I could’ve prepared for a better first impression,” muttered Hyuck, who had his hair in a mess and a lazy outfit to match.

Renjun scoffed, “Please, I hit her with a soccer ball. How’s that for a first impression?”

The boys shared laughs and Jeno looks over at Jaemin, who was looking through his camera checking the shots he was able to take from the event.

“Someone’s quiet,” Jeno comments.

Jaemin’s head shot up, already knowing it was him. “What?”

“I heard from Seoyun that you left quite an impression on Yuri,” Jeno sported a sly grin on his face. Jaemin rolls his eyes, looking back down at his camera.

“I just gave her coffee because she looked like she was gonna die without it,”

“Right,” Renjun murmured.

“Shut up, Renjun,” the boy hissed.

Yuri was confused. Not only did Minjae just push a Versace dress to her chest, complete with Louboutins to match, she also told her to ‘keep it’.

“Wait, but why?” uttered Yuri, examining the dress and shoes that probably cost more than all her life spending totaled. Minjae didn’t bat an eye as she pulled out another dress from her wardrobe in a stone blue shade, putting it against her body to check if it was what she was going for. “I don’t think red suits me, but I reckon it’d look good on you though, so keep it,” she mutters.

“I can’t take this, Minjae. But thank you,” Yuri mused as she put down the dress and shoes on the bed. Minjae turned around and crossed her arms. “Then what will you wear to the party?”

“I think I have a Zara dress somewhere,” Yuri shrugged.

“You can’t be caught dead in a Zara dress. We’re not in our 30s yet! Put this on. It’s an order,” Minjae took the dress and pushes it into Yuri’s hands once more. The girl could only abide.

 Once dressed, the girls go about their plan to meet up at Hyebin’s dorm. Sneaking past the RA and professors going on rounds, they arrived without getting caught. By 10:30, they were removing their heels to get ready to make their escape through Hyebin’s terrace.

“You want me to jump?” Yuri gasped, looking down at the height in which they had to come down from.

The rest of the girls had already made their way down, strategically climbing down using the rope they’d tied to the railing of the terrace. They were now waiting for Yuri, who looked like a cat scared for its life.

“You’ve got… three girls to catch you, don’t worry!” called Seoyun in a hushed voice.

“We have 2 minutes until the guard comes back around,” Minjae looked down at her phone.

“Granted, it’s our fault for not telling her beforehand that she’d be coming down at least 3 meters high off a balcony,” Hyebin looked up at Yuri in pity. “Come on, girl! You got this,” encouraged Seoyun at her poor friend.

Yuri’s heart raced and with sweaty hands, she threw her legs over the railing and grabbed onto the rope, hugging it for dear life. She probably flashed the three girls but her only agenda was to really get to the ground safe, and so she did.

“Great! Nice one, Yuri. Come on,” Seoyun had her heels in hand and she grabs Yuri’s with the other, pulling her to the direction of the trees for their getaway. Seoyun, Hyebin, Yuri and Minjae ran altogether until they reach a secluded area, unfamiliar to Yuri.

“Now,” Seoyun puts her heels back on. “The fun starts,” she continued, before running towards to a hooded figure in the distance and being engulfed in a hug. She pulls the person into the light, revealing Renjun.

“You girls ready to party?” yelled an ecstatic Jeno, who’d appeared from a convertible car parked behind Renjun.

I’ve gone down a 3 meter high balcony in the tiniest dress ever, Yuri thought. This better be one hell of a party.

[javierpenaspinkshirt]

Dear Diary

Javi x Diarist - One Shot

Warnings: brief mention of some NSFW activities, mentions of tight jeans, some Carrillo thirst because I’m only human.

Words: 2.7k.

Summary: writing in her diary, the Diarist documents her first few weeks at her new job and her first encounters of Javi.

Day one - Monday

Dear Diary,

Today was the first day of my new job! Mom said I should keep a diary so I can look back when I’ve been in the job awhile and see how much I’ve progressed. To be honest with you, Diary, I feel a bit daft writing in you… but hey ho! Maybe you’ll be fun to look back on?

Anyway! Today was the first day of my new life in Bogotá! I’m a secretary for the DEA at the American Embassy in the city – the building is a bit posh! The university isn’t too far away so I can easily get to my evening classes (studying History with Spanish) and even though I’m classed as a ‘mature’ student (mature! HAH!) I’m hoping I’ll make friends both at class and at work… maybe someone with a car so they can drive me, teehee!

It’s a group of five girls working as secretaries for the DEA. We have a good age range and I sit sort of in the middle of the group age-wise I think. They’re all really lovely, there’s two other Americans and two Colombians so a cool culture mix. Hopefully they all like me!

I didn’t do much work today, just shadowing the others and walking round to meet everyone. The agents all seem to keep to themselves. There’s two Americans down the hall from my desk – I didn’t catch their names (whoops) but apparently they’re the two I’ll spend the most time working with. I should introduce myself properly tomorrow.

I’m looking forward to my first Tuesday on the job!

Day two - Tuesday

Dear Diary,

Today was day two. It was good, there’s a lot of information to learn and it’s especially difficult to flick between English and Spanish in my brain… But I guess I’m new to all this and I’ll get the hang of it! One of the other secretaries – Erica – has promised to speak to me mostly in Spanish so I can get into the habit of speaking like a local, I thought that was sweet of her!

But that wasn’t the most interesting thing to happen today, Diary, oh no no! Today I met Javier and Steve. They’re the two Americans I’ll be working for mostly. Steve is nice, barely speaks any Spanish which I can tell frustrates him and Javier, but just like me he’ll get there! I think I might end up his interpreter… but he seems kind and he is really into the job! He’s got a wife and they haven’t lived in Bogotá all that long either so we have that in common! Well… the being new here… not the wife bit(!)

And then there’s Javier, who all the other secretaries call Javi… so I guess I will too. I can tell he’s going to be trouble. He came up to my desk after lunch just to tell me that he liked my blouse and that the color suited me! I have to admit he is very handsome… But he strikes me as the ‘would ruin your life for a shag’ type? That might be harsh and he does seem nice. The others all say he’s lovely and is a man you can depend on but he is a dreadful flirt!

I wish I’d had something smart to say back to him as he stood in front of my desk telling me he liked my blouse but honestly, Diary, I think I just whimpered?? I was so taken aback by it! If there’s a next time I’ll have to be smarter!

Day 3 - Wednesday

Dear Diary,

This morning Javi bought me a coffee and brought it to my desk. He actually apologised for trying to flirt with me yesterday! He was very sweet actually. He said he wanted to make sure we got off on the right foot so wanted to apologise if he made me uncomfortable! I told him he didn’t I was just surprised he would even notice me! He was very sweet and said something like ‘I’d have to be blind not to notice you’… wait was he flirting with me again??

Diary, I am going to have to get better at this!

Day 4 - Thursday

Dear Diary,

I think we have a situation. I think I might have a teeny little crush on Javi. I mean, I am certainly not the only one! All the girls seem to melt slightly when he talks to them… Except Coleen actually… somehow she’s immune to his charms… Maybe she’ll teach me?

I caught myself actually waiting for him to come over to me today because I was looking forward to chatting to him. He always seems to make time to chat to us all and sees us as actual people… a lot more than most of the other staff.

He does wear some insanely tight jeans though. It's like it's 1985 and he thinks he's Axl Rose! But Javi does look good in them... like really good… Oh dear… I think I fancy a government agent. Who have I become??

Day 5 - Friday

Dear Diary,

That was my first week! Done and dusted! I think it was good! Everyone has been so kind and supportive and Erica has even invited me out for drinks tomorrow night with some of her friends! I cant wait!

School is going well too, I had my first classes this week and I think I’m going to be okay! The subject material isn’t going to be easy, but we like a challenge don’t we, Diary?

Now back to the important stuff – Javi’s outfit of the day. I was sat at my desk making some phone calls when Javi walks passed in a pair of those damn jeans and a red shirt. He caught my eye as he walked passed and gave me a smile and – I shit you not – my brain kicked in to gear and I said:

‘Nice shirt, the colour suits you’ and I was so cool and casual with a little smirk on my face, Diary I have never played anything so cool in my life. I got a chuckle from him and a wink and I swear down I would have taken my panties off right then and there.

Diary, my mom can never read you.

Day 6 - Saturday

Dear Diary,

It’s pretty late as a write this but that’s because I’ve been out with Erica and her friends! A couple of the other girls from work joined us as well so it was a lot of fun! We just went to a bar and had a few drinks and a giggle.

Erica did tell me she noticed me “making eyes” at Javi in the week though and I must’ve turned as red as the strawberry daiquiri I was drinking because she laughed at me. She told me he is, to quote her, ‘a bit of a slut’ and that most of the girls in the city know him in the biblical sense... I don’t think that put me off? I mean it’s the 80’s, do we still shame people for having sex? And to be fair, here I am making heart eyes at a man I’ve known for a matter of days. So no, Diary, I don’t judge him for that.

But I also don’t think I’m going to pursue him? I’m certainly not looking for a boyfriend. Although as I write this down I kind of figure he’s not after a commitment either? I mean I don’t know him that well but what kind of man shamelessly flirts with the new secretary on her first day if he isn’t looking for some fun? Maybe that’s what I’m looking for?

Diary, no more daiquiris for me!

Day 7 – Sunday

Dear Diary,

I went shopping today. Not the boring food type of shopping, clothes shopping! It was a lot of fun actually! I got to explore the city a bit and although it has a reputation (and my mom would kill me if she knew) I actually felt fine walking around on my own! I was in the busy shopping streets mind and it was daylight, but I really think this city could feel like home!

I bought a couple of pairs of jeans because mine are old and raggedy and I got some new shirts and tops for work, but the buy of the day – a pencil skirt that makes my butt look like I’ve done a 100 squats a day since the day I was born. I mean, not to blow my own horn, but I look GOOD in it!

I’m going to wear it to work one day… And yes Diary, I know I might be playing with fire, but a little fun never hurt anyone?

Day 8 - Monday

Dear Diary,

I wore the skirt.

Oh my! The girls all gave me compliments on my ass and legs (which lets be honest is better than any compliment from any man!) so that was great!

I’ll be honest though, by the end of the day I wanted to rip it off myself… I had severely underestimated how difficult sitting in a pencil skirt for 8 hours would be. Lesson learned!

I did see Javi though. He didn’t say anything but I was stood up as he walked passed and his eyes were stuck on me for so long Steve had to practically drag him up the stairs. Diary, I was very pleased with myself!

Day 9 - Tuesday

Dear Diary,

I don’t know what it is about the American Embassy but somehow the building attracts the most beautiful men.

Today, Diary, I met Colonel Horacio Carrillo and believe me I have never seen such a MAN! He must be 90% shoulder and 10% snark because Diary he is built like a wall and has a mouth sharp enough to even shut up Javier Peña! Not that I was listening in, I was collecting some papers in their office as the Colonel was talking to Javi and Steve.

Steve introduced me to the Colonel and he shook my hand (Diary, his hand was the SIZE OF MY HEAD)… he was wearing a wedding ring though. I’m no home wrecker… but my god is he beautiful!

I did catch Javi’s eye before I left their office though and I’m sure I’m not making it up when I say there was a flash of jealousy. I thought I was being crazy and arrogant to think that but no, I’m sure! The Colonel was very polite to me, very courteous, and were he not a married man I would have wished I was wearing my new skirt again. Diary, I can not stress enough the thickness of this man’s arms.

Anyway, despite definitely having the hots for the Colonel, I think I’d still rather go out with Javi. If we put the whole Carrillo-is-married thing aside, I just think Javi is more my kind of guy? Up for a laugh, not too serious, likes a drink and likes a smoke... very pretty!

I think we’d have a lot of fun if we went out. I’m beginning to wonder if he thinks the same?

Day 10 - Wednesday

Dear Diary,

Today the five of us girls went out for lunch. It was great! They showed me their favourite café, great for people watching but far enough from the embassy that we weren’t just looking at officials in suits! Great food too, I really do love this city!

I was sat with Coleen at lunch and she told me Javi had caught her after I’d left work for class and asked her about me. Apparently he asked if I was single!! Coleen told him she didn’t know because she didn’t want to drop me in it if I wasn’t interested in him (bless you, Coleen!) but I definitely am interested! Diary, when she told me he’d asked about me my heart raced! Like I’m some kind of school girl!

I really do like him and I’d like to get to know him better. But I think I’ll give it some more time maybe?

Day 11 - Thursday

Dear Diary,

I spent the whole day look at Javier Peña and his black fucking shirt. Oh my god, Diary! I am in too deep. He walked passed my desk while I was on the phone today and I stopped listening completely so I could concentrate on his butt.

It is becoming a problem.

So I have resolved to do something about it. I have decided that I’m going to ask him out for a drink tomorrow night after work. Fingers crossed for me!

Day 12 - Friday

Dear Diary,

Well… it’s sort of actually Saturday… I didn’t have time to write in you yesterday, Diary because… well because I didn’t come home last night (!)

Let me explain the events of last night:

When I got to work yesterday morning Javi was sat at my desk. He was wearing that damn leather jacket that, for no reason at all other than its his, I find incredibly sexy and was waiting for me. He said good morning to me then got up to let me sit down.

He watched me as I took stuff out of my bag and settled in before, seemingly out of nowhere, he asked me if I wanted to go for a drink with him after work!

Diary, I was so uncool. I was like one of those nodding dogs people have in their car or on their desk.

He laughed and said he’d come by my desk to get me when we were done. I spent the entire day obsessing about whether it was a date or just a friendly drink? Erica was sure it was a date, so sure in fact she made me borrow her red lipstick and made me promise to wear it.

I did wear it. And was I glad I did!

He complimented me on it when he came by my desk to get me. As we left the building he put his arm out for me and we linked arms and walked down the street and Diary it was the easiest, loveliest conversation I’ve ever had! He made me feel so at ease straight away, it was sort of like I’d known him for ages?

We actually ended up at the same bar I’d been to the weekend before… so I was back on the daiquiris!

We talked for ages, right up until closing but it was still like there was so much more to say! When we eventually got turfed out of the bar we ended up walking the streets, arm in arm again, laughing and chatting. Diary, it was lovely!

Turns out he only lives a few blocks away from my place but his is closer to the bar. We stopped at his door and he invited me up. I’ll be honest, I hesitated… but I was wearing his leather jacket (he’d let me wear it for the walk home) and he’d been such a gentleman, well I couldn’t resist the smile on his face!

So I ended up sat on his sofa as he told me about work and fixed me a whiskey… I don’t know what possessed me but when he came over to give me my glass I stood up and kissed him!

Diary, you know me, I’ve never been particularly forward! I blame those daiquiris… but oh no, it didn’t end at a kiss.

Before I knew it we were pulling each other's clothes off (I didn't even mind that he ripped one of my new tops)! I don't know if it's because he's well practised or he's just one of those guys that knows what he's doing... but lord did he know what he was doing!

Before I knew it he had me on my back on his sofa, screaming his name and Diary… well what can I say… I’ve had to write this all down quickly because I’ve just come home to shower and get a change of clothes before he comes to pick me up. That’s right, we’re going out again tonight!!

Diary, don’t wait up!

[maximoffzinha]

Candyman (50′s AU)

The war is over. Poe goes out to drink and can't help but to feel lost. What he's gonna do? His life was only war, and now it ended, and all he has left is a Corgi... And the memory of a voice as sweet as candy.

A/N: So, this is the first time I tried to write something like this... Never done reader inserts before but Poe really puts me in the mood. PS: Please have in mind that english is NOT my first language, I'm sorry for any mistakes

°°° It was a warm night; people were dancing around the bar finally being able to enjoy parties again. The War was over, for good this time, and Poe wasn’t going to waste any time. Being a Pilot for the royal fleet wasn’t easy, he lost many colleagues and many friends, but tonight was about happiness, a celebration! His best friend Finn invited him and two of the nurses of their squadron, Rey and Rose, for this party, they had become good friends besides the environment where they met, and while he was walking around he saw Snap and his wife Karé together laughing and enjoying each other presence in the midst of the drunk mess and the dancing couples.“I’m telling you man, I think I have a shot at the academy.”- Finn told him excitedly, he was looking for work after the army dismissed him at the end of the war.“That’s awesome Finn! I got a job at a local hospital, if you need a place to crash, we have a spare bedroom since Rose and I share the suit.”- Rey says with a smile, the two women have been living together after the hell they’ve been through on the field.“And you Poe? Any plans?” Poe stared at his friends, had he any plans really? Those five years fighting had been the only thing occupying his mind, he never thought he would get a chance to do something else, hell he never thought the war was going to end. Except it did, what did he have left? Sure, he was a General now… But he didn’t see himself in the military front forever… He wanted a domestic life, a house to get back to, someone to get back too… He even knew who he wanted, but the was too much of a coward to look for her… What could he give her?  Scars, psychological trauma and a corgi. At least BB wasn’t expecting much more of him than belly rubs and food. All of his friends had some sort of last resource, someone to get back to (well he had his father, and his sort-of-maybe-adoptive-Mother Leia, but it wasn’t the same). He mumbled some idiotic answer to his friends that seemed pleased enough, and was shaken out of his sadness by the sound of applauses and a familiar up beat tune.“Holy shit, they brought her!���“I thought she had retired!”Soon enough a velvet like voice began to sing, and Poe didn’t need to look up to the stage to know it was really you. Two Years Ago… Poe and his squadron were back to the base after a month long operation that took them all the way to Eastern Europe, they were tired, beat down, and grieving with the loss of many colleagues, so imagine their surprise when they saw a show stage in the middle of the field. Colonel Solo gave them the day off to enjoy the show paid by the US allies as a reward for their backup.Poe and the guys did their best to freshen up and went on their way to the show, some girl choir was there and the guys were excited to maybe get laid. It was nice to see them hoping for something else besides survival. A upbeat sound started and some well dressed women were up, their outfits reminded him of some military secretaries back home, their hair in perfect Victorian Rolls with a hat on top that resembled the formal uniform he had stored away. They began to sing and dance some sort of mock up march, and then there she was… Y/N Y/L/N. The men around Poe started howling and whistle when they saw the American beauty. Poe was frozen, as she sang the song (so full of innuendos that got him in a mood), somehow their eyes locked and the words coming out of her mouth held a lot more of meaning.“There's nothing more dangerous than a boy with charm... He’s a one stop shop, makes the panties drop...” -She licked her deep red tinted lips and Poe found himself doing the same. “He’s a sweet talkin’, sugar coated Candyman”- The other girls supplied backing up her strong voice.The lead lady then took of her blazer living her in a tight blue tank top like dress that had the soldiers screaming louder. “Well, by now I'm getting all bothered and hot…When he kissed my mouth, he really hit the spot… He had lips like sugar cane, oh” “Good things come for boys who wait!”- She winked giving a side smirk then turned around to dance with the backing vocal ladies.She then opened space for two girls come to the front, a red headed, and a blonde.“He's a one stop, gotcha hot, makin' all the panties drop…”- The blonde one sang and danced her way next to the red head. “He's a one stop, got me hot, makin' my (uh) pop…”- they both dance to stand next to the main singer who smiles before singing. “He's a one stop, get it while it's hot, baby, don't stop”- She sang and they got on to the next part. “He got those lips like sugar can…- They belted a high note in harmony and Poe saw some of his mates literally drooling. - “Good things come for boys who wait” “He's a one stop shop with a real big (uh)… - The main lady sang without breaking eye contact with Poe who swallowed dry. – “He's a sweet talkin' sugar coated candy man…”  After the show Poe didn’t try to invade the stage like his desperate friends, he went straight to the backstage, nervously passing his hands on his dark curls, he avoided the other girls going straight to her, every second he got less confident but he found himself knocking on the support bar of your makeshift tent.“Yes? Come in please.”- Poe stepped inside the tent and saw her wearing a lighter blouse, in trousers and a pair of black boots, still with her make up on, he thought she was even more beautiful that way. “Hello? Anybody there?”- She was snapping her fingers on his face, and he felt the warmth spread across his face. “Sorry, ma’am. I’m Commander Poe Dameron, from the black squadron.”- He said still embarrassed. “Commander? Very interesting… I’m Y/N. So Fly Boy, are you here to show me you have ‘The lips like sugar cane?’ like every other officer on this camp might try later?” Poe was taken back, what was exactly his plan? He really didn’t think this through, and was feeling kind of stupid, I mean, did he really thought he was the only man that tried to win her? “… That must be tough.”- He found himself saying. “It’s more tiering than anything else really… Most of the times the guys understand the meaning of NO, but other times… Sorry, you don’t have anything to do with this.” “No, I don’t mind… I can’t imagine that is easy to be out here having to entertain a bunch of needy man.”- He said with a smile, she sat down on a bed and motioned to him to sit with her. “I shouldn’t complain, you are doing an essential job, taking the real risk, and I’m a showgirl. I wish I could do more, maybe being a nurse… Or even fight like those Russian girls.” – She sighed. “Try to fight? That’s not something you see everyday… You any good with a pistol?”- He said with a smile and an idea popping into his mind. “I know some stuff, my dad taught me even though I was a girl… It came with the singing classes.”- She smiled a little as she got a small pistol from her boot.Poe let a small laugh out as he got up and gave out his hand to the woman, she hesitated a little but accepted his silent invite and followed him out of her tent.It was already night and the sky was clear and the star shined bright.“Where are you taking me Fly Boy?”- she said smiling. Poe could see the stars reflected in her eyes, as she could see it in his. “You’re gonna have to trust in my Showgirl…” – He smiled back at her.This man was weird, but by far the gentlest and educated one she found on this tour through the camps. It also helped that he was devilish handsome, his smile was broad and true, his hair was beautiful even though she knew the supplies were few, but his eyes… His eyes dragged her in and she found herself lost in them already. She was no fool, she knew love at first sight didn’t exist, but damn if this wasn’t a close to the feeling.That night he took her to the forest, and he showed her the beauty behind all the pain they were living. Present times. He had kissed her, he had loved her in the short while they were together, after he took her back to the camp she gave him her full name, told him to look for her after the war, she said she would be waiting… And he didn’t do that. Not because he had forgotten her, God knew there was no way for him to forget her, but because he knew better. She was a star, a fucking singer, with a brilliant career ahead of her, and he was what? Another soldier. Just another pilot without a plan.When she started to sing, that same lewd song that got him and so many other soldiers crazy, he only smiled, making way to the front of the stage being pulled by Finn and the girls who were dancing happily.She saw him. How could she not? Right there, with the formal uniform that made him look so damn good, she was singing that same damned song that she sang the night they met. And fuck if it didn’t make her remember him, it was like the lyrics were about him. Fucking gorgeous bastard… She thought without stopping the show, and while he looked at her singing, she formed a plan to never let him go again. “He’s a sweet talkin’, sugar coated Candyman… A sweet talkin’, sugar coated Candyman.” As the crowded bar applauded Y/N got down from the stage and staying in front of Poe she got him by the neck of his shirt and brought him down for a heated kiss, it didn’t take long for him to respond to it letting even a small moan as he held her by the waist and felt her fingers tugging in his hair. “Wow… Showgirl… What’s this for?” “I missed my Fly Boy and his candy cane lips…” – She whispered against his mouth, they separated when finally noted the whistles and cat calls around them. “You didn’t look for me, so I came after you, Commander Dameron…” “It’s General now actually…”- He smiled at her surprised face. “It seems like we have a lot of catching up to do.”- She said playing with the medals on his blazer. “We do… What do you say we come back here… Thursday, 7 p.m. sharp.”- He said smiling. “Is this an order, General?” “It’s a hopeful request from a stupid man that almost let you go.” “Then it’s settled. 7 p.m. sharp. Dress nicely, you look good in tuxedos, Candyman…” She went away with a sway of her hips and left Poe smiling like a fool not even noticing the sheer disbelief on his friends faces… He didn’t know what the future would be like… But at least he had a date.

[chickennoodlesoupfortae]

Angles deserve to die

A/N- ahahhahaha its gone for a month author rats. I missed my page so im back and with an update on that piece i said i was going to post last august.

Summary- People would like to think of the higher beings as ethical and moral in all their actions but sometimes even they get bored. Yoongi is assigned a task by the overlord to see how far love could push a mortal. Jimin is tasked the same by the “good” side to see if love can save the souls of those vulnerable. What happens when you’re caught in the crossfires of a cosmic bet.

Word count- 2.8k 

Warnings- Since it is based on a higher being religion is under defamation and question.

Namjoon sat babysitting a drink next to the lord of the underworld. “I don’t get what you’re getting at Jungkook. Why should we care about the mortals and their thoughts. Our job is to get them to believe what they have and then let them wander around till they disappear.” 

“That’s so boring though.” the god groaned chugging the rest of his drink. “All I’m saying is that we’ve been doing this for them for the past hundred thousand years and I’m bored out of my mind.”  

“You’re bored out of your mind. You get the interesting souls. I have to talk to the “good” people. Do you know how many different types of gods I have to pose as so they don’t freak out.” he swirled the liquid inside the cup.

“You choose to do them. When we were choosing what we’d do your words were,” Jungkook began to laugh. The small room was dark and gloomy only filled by the two of them and a maiden who came and occasionally refilled their glasses. It was warm and dry inside making it uncomfortable but the two had gotten use to it as the year melted together.

“Don’t say it” the god warned

“ ‘I believe that these savages can be good and therefore I want to lead their souls into a better place’” he imitated his partner in the afterlife scam “Well look how that turned out. You still get shitty people but they pretend to be better than the ones you send “down under”.”

Namjoon rolled his eyes “What’s with that right? I mean who thought of one, the word hell and two, that it would be down. You literally work ten miles away from me.”

“Stupid humans I guess.” his hand shoot up beckoning for the maiden who appeared next to him within seconds. “Yes dear can I get another one of these please with an extra shot of vodka” his head turned away from the servant  “So back to what I was saying oh heavenly one. As I was “punishing” my run of the mill serial killers, as one does. I thought. ‘Now why do these humans love to hurt each other?’ Me being a god and all, determined quickly that it was emotion.” 

“And?” he rolled his eyes listening to the devil himself.

“What if we sent one of your angels and one of my demons to try and see what would happen.” 

“How would that work the human would have two people pressuring it and we wouldn’t be able to see the results clearly.”

“What if we sent them in disguise as one of them and see who the human chooses emotionally and how far it would go.”

Namjoon finished his drink thinking the proposal through. It had been years since he visited the mortal world and seeing clones of the same personality pass through his office was getting boring. “We need to set goals and a prize.” The devil's eyes lit up with excitement Joon had only seen when he realised his first plague.

“My goal is for the human to kill itself.” he responded

Namjoon choked on air as he heard Jungkook’s suggestion. “That seems awfully cruel.”

“I am satan no?” he joked “It doesn’t matter if your sides gonna win right?” 

Again “the savior” of humanity looked for the answers in the room eyes blanking on a wall. “Fine but my goal is the same. The human must end it’s own life in a selfless way.”

“Oh that’s interesting Namjoon.” his head raised at the use of his real name.

“Yes Jungkook it is, but this is an interesting game we’re playing.” he replied with the use of his  real name. There names were used mostly by their own angels and demons but rarely between the two “If I win we get to switch positions for the next millenia.”

“And if I win you have to do both jobs for the next century and I live a life amongst the people showing them what bad really is.” he extended his hand. Namjoon grabbed it feeling a slight burn on impact. 

“Deal.”

Yoongi’s eyes opened and he groaned. “So we’re doing this again.” he asked himself at the realization he was still alive or better phrased not alive but still working. He stood up in the overly large dimly lit room walking over to the closet to start his daily routine. Everyday he followed the same actions. Closet, clothes, brushing his teeth, and going to the court to hear whatever sob stories his clients had. One would assume that a demon in charge of the highest cases in the land of the heartless would have an exciting life but after  tens of thousands of years it became a bit tedious. He put on a white tee shirt and a pair of black skinny jeans. To call it business casual he threw on a plane black blazer. Looking in the mirror he checked his figure giving himself a smile. He walked closer to the mirror examining his black hair patting down a couple fly aways. His eyes were cold and dead. Perfect for his profession. He stepped back looking at himself one last time before opening the door and saying goodbye to his penthouse apartment in the nicest district of the bad side. 

The elevator as always remained pack for all seventy levels stopping at every other floor. It was quite fitting to what was called hell in the mortal world. Finally at the lobby he walked out of the building into the cloudy atmosphere. His car was parked in a no parking zone and ten tickets stuck out of his window wipers that he had never bothered to take out. He smiled at the sight of a boot on his black luxury vehicle. His favorite hobby was seeing how angry the meter maid would get watching him zap off the boot and burn the tickets. He was waiting for there to be fifteen tickets so he could beat his record. He stepped into the small sleek car and like every morning rode in silence to the office.

Jimin’s eyes fluttered open a small smile already present on his soft face. He stood up slightly yawning slipping his feet into the slippers that found a home beside his king size bed. He walked through his large bedroom to the closet. The room was bright due to thee light coming in from the open window. Everyday Jimin did the same thing enjoying the routine it gave him. “Hey baby can you get me a cup of coffee?” he asked his “girlfriend” grabbing a button up white shirt out of the full closet. 

“Sure thing.” she responded from another part of the house. He walked into the bathroom examining his face. For an angel he fit the description, a clear skin smile reflecting back. His hair was a platinum blonde almost gray shade which matched his outfit. Although loving the style of white he wore a dark metal watch on his wrist and a black necklace. He checked his figure smiling and leaving his all white bathroom. 

“Here’s your coffee dear.” A tall woman stood in front of him handing him a to go cup. In the “next world” as the highest liked to call it,  there was no such thing as love. “Girlfriend” was a term coined by the demons which slowly traveled to the good side for a companion. Although there were no genders in the next world the beings could choose what they presented as and most of the time it was a mortal form some resembling women and other men and some just balls of light. A “girlfriend” here just meant a companion to give support. 

“Thank you.” he gave her a small peck and left the townhouse he owned in the best district of the good side. What Jimin did was different than most angels. Most were tasked to help the souls fade and give them hope while his was to defend the good side from the souls trying to get in. It was a stressful job but it kept him busy. He walked to his white car. The vehicle shined brightly in the sun parked neatly in front of his house. He drove to the office with the windows open letting the air flow through.

“Min Yoongi?” his office telephone paged. He groaned looking at the old fashioned piece of technology, now only used in his profession. His hand slowly raised pressing the intercom button. 

“Yes?” he asked annoyed.

“Sir, the CEO seeks your presence upstairs.” he threw his head back at the static sound that now filled his office.

“Tell him I’ll be up.” 

It wasn’t a bad day but he hated meeting with his boss. His position was the highest next to the CEO meaning he didn’t interact with anyone except his clients, secretary, and occasionally his doorman and he loved it that way. He let out a loud groan walking outside his office and to the elevator. He got inside the cabin pressing level one hundred. As he passed each floor he pressed the numbers making it so by the time he got to his floor the elevator would stop at every level. 

The doors opened to the dry and hot office of the CEO. He strolled out of the elevator clearly unamused by being called here.

“Yoongi what a pleasure to see you again.” Jungkook smiled sitting behind his desk in the almost dark office. All the blinds were down and the room was empty except for the servant he always had on hand for drinks. 

“What do you want?” he asked tired already of the interaction. 

“Do want anything to drink?” the god asked

“No.” he responded 

“I don’t know why I love my alcohol so much. To us highers it has no effect but I guess I’ve always loved the burn.” he let out a dry laugh. 

“So why did you call me up here satan.” he stated blandly

“I hate that name. Where do they come up with these names?” he took a long sip from his glass before placing it down and changing his demeanor. “I have a job for you.”

Jimin smiled at his client giving her a box of tissues. “Yes, I know this must be a lot for you honey. You made it! You’re on the goodside. Why don’t you go with Jan and she’ll explain this all to you.” 

The soul nodded her head and walked out with the assistant selected for her case. Jimin let out a sigh of relief as his first case of the day walked out. 

“Park Jimin?” he heard is telecom go off. He pressed the button to speak.

“Yes?” he responded

“The CEO needs you.” 

“Thank you for telling me.” he stood up and walked to the elevator pressing the up button. He looked over at his secretary.

“Did he mention what he needs me for?” he asked her kindly

“No sir. He just said he needed to see you.” she smiled at him.

“Oh that’s unfortunate. The weathers been quite nice lately hasn’t it.” he politely conversed with her. 

“Yes, the light has been shining lately. I heard it’s cloudy on the other side though.” she added

“What a shame. I hope it gets brighter.” the elevator opened “Well I’ll be back soon hopefully.” he waved while pressing the hundredth floor.

The doors opened into the bright room surrounded by windows and chairs. The god stood looking out of one of the farther one. The windows gave a perfect view onto the bustling city of the good side. Cars drove through the streets and angels walked on the sidewalks. The god wasn’t looking at the city though. He looked beyond it to the fields of grasing souls waiting to fade away. 

“Hi Namjoon what can I do for you?” he asked walking to stand beside him 

“I have a job for you.” he sighed still looking forward.

 “I’m sorry what do you want me to do JK?” he asked now more interested than he had been before. Jungkook slide the file across his desk to the side of the chair yoongi was sitting in. 

“Here’s her case buddy. (y/n) she was especially chosen by me and mr. sunshine.” 

Yoongi sat up to grab the manilla folder. He looked at the picture of the mortal girl and began to read her file. “What about her though? She seems pretty average to me.” he continued to scan the transcript.

“You see I knew you were the man for the job. Ms. (y/l/n) is a perfect example of a decent human being, she isn't good but she isn’t bad. She would get into the other side but she wouldn’t become an angel. She’s the perfect example of a vulnerable soul.” 

“I still don’t get why you want me to seduce her into being bad.” he asked closing the file and sliding it back.

“I don’t want you to make her bad. I just want you to make her lose herself. Drive her insane make her you know?” he elaborated overcome with joy.

“No Jungkook I don’t know.” the demon responded the red in his eyes flaring up for the first time in months.

“To end it all. I want you to make an example of her. If you can get her to go insane then I’ll win my bet.” he stated smiling and leaning back into his chair.

“You’re doing this as a bet. That seems especially cruel even for you.” Yoongi cracked a smile starting to get convinced.

“I mean I’m sure it’ll be fun for you too. You’ll get a break from routine and free reign on a mortal. All I need you to do is to take her life and what she knows and flip it upside down, make her emotions overcome her and lead her to dumb descisions. If you think seducing her will do it than go ahead.” 

“Fine. I’ll do it.” he sighed standing up.

“This seems like a bad idea.” Jimin pleaded to his superior.

“I know but if I don’t win then they will and that’s worse.” 

“Why would you make a wager like this.” the angel pleaded feeling defeated knowing he would have to go through with it. He was looking through the file. “She’s so average. She doesn’t deserve this. She would be a normal soul on this side. What if I can’t convince her and the other side wins?” he was rambling but surprisingly at a loose for words in his mind 

“I don’t know Jimin but I trust that you’ll be able to sway her in the right direction.”

“I still don’t understand what I need to do.” he ruffled through the papers in the file.

“You need to find this girl and get her to change and,” he paused disappointed in his part of the deal. “ give the ultimate sacrifice for another.”

Jimin’s head shot up “The what?” he was in denial “You want me to get her to kill herself for someone else how is that...I don’t.” he couldn’t bring the words in his mind to come out.

“I know but in a selfless way. Like a mother dying for her child or a firefighter saving a person from a fire.” the god walked away from the windows and sat down at his desk.

“I can’t do this.” Jimin threw the file up in the air, letting the papers fall around him.

“You have too.” Namjoon stated giving him the watch. Every angel knew of the watch but very few ever saw it. The small timepiece allowed for highers such as angels, demons, and gods to visit the mortal world. He took the time piece and left the office.

Yoongi stood in his empty apartment packing a suitcase filling it with his most casual clothes. He looked back into the home and twisted the watch's dial transporting him to the mortal world. 

Jimin went home and packed a bag filled with his clothes. He forgot about his “girlfriend” until she stopped him at the door. At almost all times angels were expected to be kind beings above drama and emotions but this was a rare occasion. “Get out of my home. I won’t be back for awhile and I thought the new trend of companionship would be for me but it wasn’t so I expect you to be gone.” he moved her aside and left his home. On his porch he turned the dial on the watch transporting him to the mortal realm.

[per-ineptia-ad-astra]

Star Trek Gold Key #31: The Final Truth

Our story begins with Kirk and his crew in the midst of yet another armed conflict with an alien government, which as usual is not going very well for them. Meanwhile, the narration box is going on about seeking answers to the mysteries of the universe, such as the mystery of “what does all this have to do with the shooty robots?” Like most great mysteries of the universe, answering this one will require delving into terrible and forbidden realms where we risk encountering sights we should never have seen, and knowledge we are unequipped to handle. Which is to say, we’ll have to read this comic.

[ID: A comic book splash page titled “Star Trek—The Final Truth—Part 1.” The page shows Kirk, Chapel, two goldshirts, and an orange-skinned alien wearing a purple leotard, all standing in the middle of a futuristic city while white and blue robots point guns at them. A figure in a hooded gold and brown cloak is standing in the foreground, pointing toward the Enterprise crew and saying, “You can see your weapons are useless! You are prisoners of the Ministry—and you shall remain so for the rest of your natural lives!” In the top left corner, a narration box reads, “The universe—laboratory of life! Countless mysteries, keys to creation itself, lie suspended in solution against a backdrop of stars. And the races that inhabit these stars, human or alien, will always seek the answers to these mysteries...although some answers may only come at great cost!”]

The issue begins with a ship’s log from Spock as he beams down with a small landing party onto a planet called Quodar, which is about to be admitted into the Federation. According to Spock’s Pepto Bismol-colored narration boxes, Quodar not only “[forms] a strong cornerstone against the Klingons,” it’s also rich in both dilithium and “triolium-L, a dilithium preservative.” How one goes about preserving dilithium I don’t know, but the point is that Quodar’s chock full of some important minerals, so the Federation has a lot of motivation to stay friendly with them. And yet, they sent these guys to conduct diplomacy. I mean, that’d be a sensible enough decision if this was the real TOS crew, but at this point I wouldn’t trust the Gold Key crew to attend a birthday party without blowing up a planet in the process.

Anyway, Spock’s group is greeted by T’oell, a bald dude in a bright pink jumpsuit who’s the Quodarian Secretary of Affairs. Spock informs us that T’oell is “always in the spotlight [and] sharply contrasts the queen, Arama, who chooses to be reclusive,” and indeed it would certainly be hard to miss T’oell in that outfit. T’oell says he’s sorry to see that Kirk isn’t with them, and Spock tells him that Kirk was “detained escorting Starfleet Admiral Tailen Kahn from Starbase in the shuttlecraft.” Apparently he did bring McCoy along, though; everyone else is too tiny to make out, but we know McCoy’s there because he’s chosen to helpfully stick his face right up against the front of the panel.

[ID: A comic book panel showing Spock walking next to a bald man wearing a pink jumpsuit open to the waist with a wide-collared pink shirt under it. Two more crewmembers are walking behind Spock, while in front of him are a male blueshirt with blond hair and McCoy, whose face is shown in extreme close-up. Spock is saying, “He has been regretably [sic] detained escorting Starfleet Admiral Tailen Kahn from Starbase in the shuttlecraft!” while the man beside him is saying, “Ah, then come. We shall make you as comfortable as possible!”]

Speaking of Kirk, he soon chimes in with his own captain’s log from over in the shuttle he’s currently sharing with Admiral Kahn, an orange-skinned alien of some sort wearing some kind of plastic leotard-looking thing; Chapel, who’s apparently decided to try out being a redhead; some random guy with brown hair; and Chekov. I only know that’s Chekov because Kirk addresses him by name a couple panels later. Before that I thought he was Sulu. It really shouldn’t be possible to draw Chekov in such a way that he can be confused with Sulu, but here we are.

[ID: A panel showing five people inside a shuttlecraft: Admiral Kahn, an alien with mottled orange skin, a tail, and short orange hair, wearing what appears to be a plastic purple leotard with abs modeled into it and a purple headband; Chekov, or at least a man with short dark hair in a green uniform shirt; Kirk; Chapel, who has orange hair for some reason; and a nondescript male greenshirt with brown hair. A narration box from Kirk reads, “Captain’s Log: supplemental! Spock has been sent ahead with the Enterprise to Quodar! The Vulcans long ago established diplomatic exchange with Quodar and Spock already is familiar with their customs!”]

Kirk says that Spock’s been sent ahead because the Vulcans already established diplomatic relationships with Quodar, so he’s familiar with their customs. Yeah, just like how I’m familiar with the customs of every country America has diplomatic relations with. But never mind that, there’s more pressing matters at hand. Chekov suddenly reports that “a freak cosmic storm” has come up on them, knocking out their guidance system. The admiral yells at him to compensate, but Chekov can’t because a planetary magnetic field is already pulling them in. No way around it, they’re going to crash. But when they do, it’s with a sound not typically associated with high-speed spacecraft impacts.

[ID: A narration box reads, “But, when the ship hits...” while the shuttlecraft impacts with a blobby green substance, making a “Glooomphh!” sound. A single question mark in a thought bubble emerges from the craft.]

is that question mark coming from inside the shuttle or is the shuttle itself just that confused about what’s happening

It seems their fall has been cushioned by something soft on the planet’s surface, leaving the shuttlecraft mostly useless but everyone unhurt. The crew clambers out to take a look. They’ve been saved by...moss?

[ID: The five members of the shuttle crew stand on a mossy green plain while the shuttlecraft sticks up at an angle behind them, covered in blobs of moss. Kirk is saying, “Look at it! This stuff is everywhere—deep and bonded enough to cushion the impact of a plummeting shuttlecraft!” Chapel is saying, “Readings show it’s parasitic—a moss! It’s uniformly about 30 miles thick, seemingly around the whole planet like a cocoon!”]

Yep, this planet is covered with thirty-mile-deep moss. For reference, thirty miles is the average depth of the Earth’s continental crust. That’s a lot of moss. Chapel says that her sensor readings indicate that the moss “lives off high energy levels” but she can’t yet determine the source. Chekov then points out some local wildlife, which “seem to be birds, except they burrow into the moss!” which I guess disqualifies them from being birds. According to Chapel the birds are also parasites, because they live off the moss.

So we’ve got moss as thick as a continent, which is somehow soft enough to cushion a spacecraft crashing from orbit, something water isn’t soft enough to do without the aid of some parachutes, and some birds that aren’t birds but are parasites even though that’s not what the word ‘parasite’ means. Confused? Don’t worry, it gets worse.

Admiral Kahn (yes, his name really is Kahn; presumably either the writer just plain forgot that there was already a Star Trek character named Khan or else placed an incredibly unlucky bet on which one-off TOS character would go on to become a household name by starring in one of the most famous sci-fi films of all time) isn’t interested in birds or moss, though. He’s interested in “matters at hand” such as them being stranded in the middle of a moss field. Kahn orders the spare greenshirt, Manning, to stand guard outside while the rest of them get back inside the shuttle with their distress beacon on until help arrives. This seems like a decent enough plan, but Kirk immediately vetoes it, on the grounds that “A beacon could just as easily summon trouble here! Sensors indicate a concentration of living beings close by!”

Fulfilling his sworn duty as a high-ranking Starfleet officer to be overly obstructive and hot-tempered at all times, Kahn immediately tries to pick a rank fight with Kirk. Kirk is unconcerned, pointing out that while Kahn might be an admiral, he’s in administration, without much field experience, and Kirk can’t let Kahn’s inexperience endanger his crewmembers’ lives. It’s Kirk’s job to endanger his crewmembers’ lives. Then he just starts walking off while Kahn splutters uselessly behind him.

Meanwhile on Quodar (no, they haven’t been on Quodar this whole time; why would you think that the planet they crashed into was the planet they were traveling toward? that would be silly), Spock’s getting concerned about Kirk and the shuttlecraft failing to appear. He’s contacted Starfleet, who apparently have some tracking information about the shuttle. T’oell is concerned about what that info indicates. “If Starfleet’s trackings are accurate, your shuttle crashed on our neighbor planet Tristas!” he tells Spock. “Your friends may be in serious danger!”

T’oell goes on to explain that the two planets used to have good relations, with Tristas allowing scholars from Quodar to study in their halls of learning. The Tristians were peaceful and “a race advanced beyond any society we have encountered! Theirs was an endless quest for knowledge—an entire culture directed at but one goal! They sought the secret of life itself!” Whether the Tristians wound up building an enormous computer to answer the question for them, though, we don’t know, because one day Tristas suddenly and without explanation sent all the visiting scholars home and blocked communications. When the Quodarians tried to go visit to see what was up, they were told to turn back or be destroyed, and later received a message that anyone who did get through the Tristian defenses would become permanent prisoners of the military. Apparently those defenses aren’t that great, though, considering how easy it is to crash into the planet completely by accident.

Back on Tristas, the shuttlecraft crew seem to have turned something up.

[ID: One large panel with a smaller panel inset into the top left corner. The top panel shows a narration box reading, “Meanwhile, on Tristas, a discovery has been made...” while below Chapel, Kahn and Kirk look surprised. Chapel is saying, “Captain…?” In the lower panel, the crew are looking out through a gap in the mossy hills at a city of elaborate white buildings standing against a pink sky. Chapel is saying, “Tri-corder indicates all materials here—metals, glass—they’re all synthesized from compounds in the moss!” Kirk is saying, “Phasers set on stun—stay alert!” Kahn is saying, “We’re walking right into the hands of aliens! This is suicide, Kirk!”]

man, that is some seriously impressive moss

Before they can check out the moss-city, though, someone yells at the group to stop. Judging by the outfit of the person in question, I’m gonna say it’s a Jedi?

[ID: The shuttlecraft crew stands about in surprise, except for Kahn, who has dropped to his knees in a defensive crouch with an angry hiss. In the foreground stands a figure in a hooded brown robe with their hands on their hips, saying, “You are hereby in the custody of the Ministry! Your vehicle has already been secured! Remove your weapons immediately and follow me!”]

Kirk protests that they come in peace and only landed here by accident, but the Jedi Master and his accompanying robot minions are unmoved. Kahn, naturally, thinks the best solution to all this is to shoot first and ask questions later, while Kirk, who thinks that’s kind of a stupid idea, tries to hold him back. Meanwhile Manning, thinking that their would-be captor is distracted by watching Kirk and Kahn bicker, tries to take the chance to shoot the dude himself. The only thing that this accomplishes is promptly getting Manning shot by one of the robots.

On Quodar, Spock narrates that they’ve finally gotten T’oell, with much reluctance, to go directly to the queen with a request for her to help the crashed shuttle crew. While T’oell is gone, Spock tells McCoy that he’s positive he can get through the planetary defenses on Tristas (what, like it’s hard), if they can only convince Arama to help. McCoy is skeptical about Arama, questioning how a leader who never shows herself can inspire trust in her people, but Spock says that the Quodarians do trust her all the same and that she’s never let them down. Unfortunately the Enterprise crew aren’t quite so lucky, because T’oell comes back and reports that Arama has regretfully refused to grant them an audience because “it would be illogical to take action which could result in war!” Seems the Quodarians have picked up a few vocabulary words from all that diplomacy with the Vulcans.

Meanwhile, the shuttle crew find themselves being chivied into a strange form of confinement.

[ID: A large panel with a smaller panel inset into the bottom right corner. In the larger panel, the  crew are standing in a room covered with a glass dome, which is set into a larger room where several large and indeterminate pieces of machinery stand about. Some men with white hair, wearing long pink smocks over green shirts and boots, are looking down at the crew through the dome. Chapel is looking up at them and saying, “A laboratory specimen observation theatre!” One of the observers is saying, “Curious—the way they arrived on our world without activating the early warning defense systems!” Another one says, “There was that storm—a cosmic energy displacement—within our parsect! Several city-states reported malfunctions!” In the lower panel, Chapel is using her tricorder to scan Manning, who is sitting on the floor with a hand to his head. She says, “Manning is coming around, Captain! He’ll be a bit stiff, but he’s all right!” Manning replies, “Uhhh...that’s your story, Lieutenant!”]

Kirk demands to know who these people are and what’s going on. One of the pink-smocked observers says that they are the Ministry of Science and that he personally is “Science Lord for the city-state Chantil!” Yes, really, SCIENCE LORD. I don’t know what that entails, but what an amazing title. Oh, and also they’re keeping the crew prisoners. When Kirk asks “By what right?” the SCIENCE LORD says that “This is not a question of rights but imperatives! We must do this for the security of our people!” Oh yeah, sure, that’s what they all say.

The captives then have some kind of collars beamed directly onto them, although apparently not before the Science Ministers take the time to change from pink smocks to white in-between panels.

[ID: Two tall panels side by side. In the first, the scientists, their hair now blonde and their smocks white, look down at the captives while large white collars appear around the necks of Kahn and Kirk. One of the scientists says, “We have just beamed those collars on you—a regretably [sic] necessary disciplinary precaution, but only until you adjust to your situation!” Kirk is saying, “Wha...?” and Kahn is saying, “Hsssss....!” In the second panel, Kahn is leaping into the air with the aid of a little propeller built into the back of his leotard, while Kirk looks up at him from below. Kahn is yelling,”Humanoids! We will not be prisoners of your like! Do you hear me…?” Kirk is yelling, “Admiral!”]

Predictably, Kahn’s attempt to...actually, I don’t really know what he was attempting to do there, but whatever it was, it only results in him getting zapped by his e-collar and crashing to the floor. The SCIENCE LORD then tells the crew that they “are to become tenders of the divine life until such time as we no longer need you! This audience is now ended!”

Back to Quodar, where night has fallen on the capital, a couple of guards are patrolling the topiary when suddenly they come under attack. The narrator takes a moment to indulge in some purple prose while the armed guards somehow completely fail to defend themselves against three unarmed people in robes.

[ID: A panel with a narration box reading, “Out of night-darkness, as if birthed by the shadows they emerge from, three silhouettes attack with unrestrained fury...” The panel shows two guards dressed in yellow helmets, yellow vests, brown and white shirts and white pants, being assaulted by a figure in a hooded gray robe and exposes Starfleet uniform boots and the sleeves of a uniform red shirt. In the background, two other hooded figures are punching and kicking more guards. One of the guards is yelling, “Stop them—don’t let them get to Arama!”]

gee I wonder who these mysterious figures under robes that don’t fully conceal their Starfleet uniforms could be

One of the guards tries to escape to warn somebody, but before he can get away Spock steps out of the darkness and clocks him across the jaw. Just given up on the nerve pinch thing, I guess. McCoy and Uhura gather up the guards and McCoy gives them some sleepy hypos to keep them out for an hour. Spock then tells the others to go back to their quarters while he goes ahead to make his way to Arama alone. In perhaps the most out-of-character moment we’ve seen in these comics yet—and I don’t need to tell you that that is really saying something—McCoy agrees with him.

[ID: McCoy and Uhura standing in front of a gray building, while Spock walks away from them. McCoy is saying, “He’s right—whatever must be done from here on, is his to do!” Uhura is saying, “He’ll make it, Leonard! It would be too illogical from him not to succeed!”]

So Spock heads inside to see Arama on his own, knocking out another guard or two in the process. Why exactly Spock thinks that beating up the security and breaking into Arama’s quarters personally is going to make her more likely to listen to him I don’t know. In any case, with the guards out of the way Spock opens the door to Arama’s chamber, which apparently has something quite surprising behind it.

[ID: A narration box reads, “But, when Spock enters the chamber...” while Spock opens a large wooden door and exclaims, “You! It can’t be...But it is! We never suspected!”]

What’s behind door number one? Place your bets now! I guarantee you pretty much anything you guess is gonna be way more interesting than the actual answer.

We begin Part 2 back on Tristas, where Kirk and Co. are being introduced to what life as prisoners of the Science Ministry entails. Apparently wearing dorky jumpsuits is a large part of it.

[ID: A large panel titled “Star Trek—Part 2—The Final Truth.” A narration box at the top reads, “Captain’s Log: Supplemental! As a result of a cosmic storm, our shuttlecraft has been stranded on Tristas! We have been made virtual slaves, enforced by punisher collars!” The panel shows a wide shot of a moss field cut through by a river, with several people walking around carrying sacks. On the far side of the river is a large orange machine, with the white buildings of the city visible in the distance. On the near side, Kirk, Chapel, Chekov, and Manning are standing, wearing sleeveless white jumpsuits open almost to the waist, with yellow and orange shirts on underneath. Admiral Kahn, still wearing his purple leotard, is crouching nearby looking surprised. Kirk is saying, “What do you make of that housing, Lieutenant?” Chapel is saying, “Seems to be some sort of transformer! It might possibly be the source of energy feeding the moss, but it doesn’t seem powerful enough!”]

do you think it’s hard to get those jumpsuits on over the shock collars

A robot warden tells the newcomers that their job is to pick moss, and one of the other moss-pickers on duty approaches to show them the ropes. Kirk asks her why they’re all prisoners here. “Not prisoners—privileged!” she says. “We serve the life within! It is within us and we are within it!” A statement that would be a bit more believable if she were not also wearing a shock collar. But hey, maybe that’s part of the privilege, who am I judge.

Kirk wants her to tell him more about this “life within,” but the woman draws back, telling him that “If you cannot link with it, then it is not for you to know! Please, ask me no more! Be happy that you are allowed to serve the presence!” Of course, Kirk’s not about to be satisfied with that, and demands answers, grabbing her arm as she tries to get away. The only thing this accomplishes is to get him zapped.

[ID: Two panels side by side. In the left panel, Kirk is falling to the ground and yelling, “YAAAAHHH!” as his collar shocks him with a “PZZZZZZZZAAATTTT!” sound, while two more people in jumpsuits stand nearby looking surprised and a red robot runs closer. In the right panel, Kahn watches while crouched above the scene on an outcropping while the robot says, “Stop! Humans have violated alien control dictum! They will be segregated!” A woman in a white jumpsuit and blue shirt with a black bowl cut replies, “They will be no such thing! Return to your post, machine! We can act upon our own directives!”]

Admiral Kahn promptly jumps into the middle of this mess, declaring that actually, they’d rather obey the robot’s order, because “We have no interest in your lot and you obviously have none in ours!” Another one of the moss-pickers tells the woman that there’s no point in arguing. “There is nothing we can do!” he says. “They cannot understand as we do! That is why they cannot be told!”

Later—presumably after a hard day of moss-picking—the crew reconvenes in some remarkably lush-looking quarters.

[ID: A tall panel with a narration box reading, “Later, as night falls..” In a room with elaborately decorated white walls, Kahn is sitting on what appears to be a green mattress placed on top of a larger blue mattress, while Kirk stands in front of a pink table with some indeterminate objects on top of it, and Chekov sits nearby in a pink and blue armchair. Kirk is saying, “At least they’ve made us comfortable! I think it was a good idea to segregate ourselves. We need to plan!” Kahn is pointing at Kirk and saying, “I don’t need your patronizing, Kirk! It was easily observed that your peculiar manner of questioning was getting little result!”]

Dang, this must be the white-collar prison.

Chapel wonders if this ‘life within’ everyone keeps talking about is something theological. Kirk doesn’t think it’s that simple. “They aren’t worshippers [sic]...they’re protectors! I have a hunch, though! I think the answer is tied to whatever the source of the energy that feeds the moss is!”

At that very moment (I recommend you don’t try to work out the timeline here) Spock is entering Queen Arama’s quarters, where we were promised something truly unexpected and game-changing. What could it be?

[ID: A long panel with a narration box reading, “At the moment, on Quodar...” Spock is standing in the foreground of a room with decorated pink walls. In front of him, a woman is standing on a dais with a large chair behind her, wearing a green dress with a white top and a headdress made of several green ribbons pointing different directions. Spock is saying, “Live long...and prosper, Queen Arama! I find it most unexpected that you are a...” Arama is saying, “A Vulcan? I’m not, except by heredity. I am a Quodarian daughter of Vulcan’s last ambassador here. As to why you’re here, my answer is still no!”]

Turns out Arama’s a Vulcan, a twist that McCoy saw coming back in part one:

[ID: A panel showing Uhura and McCoy watching T’oell walk toward a doorway. Uhura is saying, “B-but you can’t just leave the captain and the others stranded!” T’oell is saying, “I-I’m sorry…!” McCoy is saying, “Illogical? Bah! It wouldn’t surprise me if Arama turned out to be Vulcan!”]

“Finally, my tactic of calling everyone who uses the word ‘logic’ a Vulcan has paid off!”

You might naturally be wondering what significance this is going to have for the rest of the story, so let me just save you some time here: absolutely none whatsoever. It has nothing to do with anything and will never be elaborated on.

Spock protests Arama’s decision to not change her first decision, but she takes him to task, pointing out that what he’s asking would risk war with Tristas, something that would not end well for Quodar. Spock is remarkably chastened by this.

[ID: Arama standing before Spock and saying, “I know their capabilities—such a war would hardly last a day! Do you wish that on my people? Does the Federation?” Spock is bowing his head a bit and saying, “I-I’m sorry, Arama—I don’t know what came over me! You are correct...and logical!”]

Chastened but not deterred, apparently, because early the next morning, the Quodarian FAA spot one of their miniature ‘starscout’ spaceships taking off unauthorized. Arama doesn’t have any trouble figuring out who the culprit is, but apparently she’s not much bothered about it either.

[ID: A panel labeled, “Inside the starscout...” Spock is inside a spacecraft looking down at a small screen which shows an image of Arama’s face. Through the screen Arama is saying, “I presume I am speaking to Mr. Spock! We have broadcast to Tristas that one of our starscouts has been stolen! Your human half is very predictable...good luck, Spock!”]

On Tristas, Kirk and Friends are back at it in the moss mines, trying to figure out a way to deal with their robot guards. Chapel suggests she could “knock out” the two of them (how one knocks out a robot I don’t know) but Kirk doesn’t think she could take both of them down fast enough. Admiral Kahn, naturally, is once again unsatisfied with Kirk’s approach and takes it upon himself to take action.

[ID: A panel with a narration box reading, “Kahn approaches cautiously, as if to empty his shoulder bag! But...” Kahn is shown punching one robot into a bush, while his tail is wrapped around the leg of another robot that is otherwise offscreen, making “SPA-TAAANNG!” “KRAAMM!” and “ZZZRAACCKK!” sounds.]

spa-taaanng

He then heads off by himself to find their shuttlecraft, although not before delivering this little speech:

[ID: Kirk, Sulu and Manning stand together taking off their collars and jumpsuits, while Kahn stands nearby on a ledge, saying, “So tell me, Kirk, how do you find my performance in the field now...or had it never occurred to you that I was never given the chance for such experience! I hope I can trust you to find someplace to hide...”]

I’ve been sitting here for five minutes trying to parse that first sentence and it’s just not happening.

Oh, and he also tells Kirk that he wants Kirk “alive and well when I come back! Well enough for a court martial!” Kirk is pretty unperturbed by this, though he does tell Chekov and Manning to shadow Kahn in case he gets into trouble, because of course he’s going to get in trouble. In the meantime, he and Chapel head back into the city. On their way to the Science Ministry, another robot tries to apprehend them, so Chapel promptly kicks it to death.

[ID: A tall panel showing a green robot being kicked by Chapel’s boot with a “SPAAANNNGGG!” sound while the robot says, “SQUEEEEE-EEE!” From offscreen, Chapel is saying, “For all the trouble these robots are causing, we should have tried breaking out earlier!” Kirk, standing in the foreground at the bottom of the panel, is saying, “The people here aren’t used to agression [sic] or violence...without those collars they can’t do much!”]

After taking the robot’s weapon, Chapel says that if they can get to the main computers in the observation lab she might be able to work them, since she’s “been trained in advance computronics.” Man, Chapel’s really been holding out on us, apparently.

They break into the Science Ministry and confront Minister Tonar. And if you’re thinking “wait, who’s Minister Tonar?” that’s because no such character has been named in the story so far. Presumably that’s the name of the SCIENCE LORD (with this art it’s pretty much impossible to identify him by appearance alone) but how exactly Kirk came to learn his name is a mystery. At any rate, Kirk doesn’t waste any time getting right to the threats.

[ID: Kirk pointing a gold-colored blaster at Tonar, an old man with white hair wearing a pink smock over a green shirt. Kirk is saying, “I’ve seen enough here to realize that all your threats and defenses are bluff! Well I can show you violence that would turn this city-state inside out before you could even organize yourselves! Talk!”]

you know the thing I really love about Star Trek is how it portrays such a wonderfully enlightened and peace-loving future for humanity

“You fool!” Tonar says. “You don’t know what you are doing! It’s your very violence that I’m protecting our secret from” and so outraged by this is he that his dialogue runs right into the edge of the speech bubble without room for a punctuation mark. Chapel interrupts to say that she’s getting strange readouts from the computer she’s been messing with. “I asked for a catalogue readout on anything pertaining to “the life within,”” she says, “but I’m getting data on psychosociological experimentation and interplanetary insect surveys!”

[ID: Chapel standing in the background next to some machinery, while Kirk looks towards Tonar and says, “It’s all beginning to make a crazy sort of sense now! This city—it’s like a bee-hive! Workers! Robot drones! And you...” Tonar says, “Very well, Captain Kirk, you will have your answers! Now!”]

well I’m glad this is all making sense to somebody

“Our race embraced the secrets and sciences of the universe, yet we did not know our own planet!” Tomar begins to explain, and I use the term ‘explain’ loosely. “Beneath the moss there is a layer that defies analysis but we finally managed to penetrate that layer...It was discovered that our planet was actually hollow, like a great egg! In that “egg” were energies that were life in its most fundamental form—a link to creation itself!” He then says that the Science Ministry started to devise an experiment in the hopes of unlocking the secrets of this egg energy, an experiment which they neglected to tell the rest of the planet about. Evidently this troubled Tomar, as he says that he embarked on his own experiment, “one to save our race from destruction! The people were merely told that the forces of creation itself had been discovered! They were told only that we had become tenders of an egg that would hatch the ultimate living creation!” Which is a hell of a thing to get told by your government. Imagine waking up one morning and seeing “forces of creation discovered” trending on twitter.

Anyway, then this happens:

[ID: Three panels, two small ones on the top and one large one below that. The top left is labeled, “At that very moment, beneath the city-state...” and shows Kahn in a corridor, looking at a door with a sun symbol on it, as he says, “I don’t know what all this is leading to—but I think the answer lies just beyond that door up there! Maybe it’s the shuttlecraft!” The next panel shows Kahn’s hands reaching to open the door as he says, “Suddenly have feeling...like premonition...like I shouldn’t enter! And yet, on the other hand, I feel I am compelled to—as if my fate were tied up here!” In the third panel, Kahn is suddenly falling through a green-walled tunnel that ends in a black void filled with pink orbs and swirls of light, as he yells, “YAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!”]

you guys maybe should have put a lock on that door or something

Things get even weirder from there:

[ID: Three panels, two side by side on top and one long one below. In the first, Kahn is kneeling on the floor, eyes wide, saying, “I am the universe...I am alone...somebody help meeee!” Around him, two disembodied speech bubbles are saying, “Is this Tonar’s doing?” and “No! Let us hope that what he saw didn’t permanently damage his brain!” In the second panel, pink and white fog begins to surround Kahn as the voices say, “If Tonar only realized that in small doses, the “Eye” could expand the mind of any thinking creature!” and “But that is for them to reconcile—when everyone is ready to accept us, we shall reveal ourselves!” In the bottom panel, Kirk and Chapel are watching Tonar gesturing in front of a screen that shows a blob of beige-colored slime. Tonar is saying, “We created the Eye—a shape your mind conjures for identification since the mass of energy has no form—from the unstable forces contained in our planet! Mental energy is the required tool...Kirk, that thing you see on the screen is the six scientists that were sent to study that energy! All six of them!”]

“A collective intelligence—pure unsiphoned mental energy!” Kirk says, somehow discerning a heck of a lot more from that image than I am. “More than you know!” Tonar replies. “The Eye has increased their energies a hundredfold! The eye’s emanations reach to the furthest reaches of this galaxy—and they can now travel with it!”

So let me try to sum this up. These people were living on a planet covered with a continent-thick layer of moss, and then one day they discovered that under that moss was magical mystery energy that had something to do with the forces of creation. They tried to study this energy by creating the Eye, and we don’t actually know what the Eye is because it’s undefinable, but the scientists who looked at it got turned into a blob of super-intelligent scientist goo, and now both the Eye and the scientist goo are being kept in a completely unlocked and unguarded room in the Science Ministry building. Got all that? If you do, please explain it to me, because I’m lost.

Tonar explains-- ‘explains’--why he hasn’t told anyone about the scientist goo. “Don’t you see...we were a civilization at its very pinnacle! We would have nothing more to live for if the secrets of the Eye were revealed. Our knowledge would have killed us!” So I guess he just told everyone that they had to pick moss for the rest of their lives instead. Cool. While he’s rambling on about this, Kahn somehow gets transported into the room, but no one pays him much attention.

Kirk is skeptical of Tonar’s motives. “I see a man who is either short-sighted or vain enough to believe the universe is finite!” he says. “Or is your real motive that you fear the idea that your race’s entire lifestyle will be totally changed?” Keep in mind that said “lifestyle” currently consists of “everyone picks moss every day forever” and listen, I know change is hard, but I feel like most people would be pretty happy to move on from that one.

Tonar assumes that now Kirk has learned about...whatever it is Kirk has learned about here...he will “either control it or destroy it!” Kirk assures him that they won’t, and not only because seriously, where would they even start. “There are those who will try,” he says. “The Federation can protect you, allow you to share your knowledge with a united scientific collective! We are not exploiters, Tonar—and we’re not conquerors!”

Oh, and also Spock is here.

[ID: Tonar walking away towards the foreground, saying, “Please excuse me, Captain Kirk...I have something to tell my people!” Spock and Kirk are standing behind him, Spock saying, “It would seem I was not needed after all, Captain! I found Chekov and Manning looking for Admiral Kahn! They brought me here!”]

wow, you were so helpful in this issue Spock. really got a lot done.

Everyone heads back to Quodar, where Kirk tries to reconcile with Kahn, but apparently his encounter with the Eye has changed his priorities somewhat, and their differences now seem “pitifully insignificant.” Instead he’s been thinking about transferring to work with “the Tristas project” despite said project not yet being a thing that exists.

With that, everyone goes off to celebrate Quodar’s induction to the Federation, complete with some guys playing instruments that I initially mistook to be one double-barreled vuvuzela, which is a terrifying concept.

[ID: A large panel showing a crowd of people in front of a large building, while T’oell, Chapel, Arama, Spock, Kirk, Manning, Chekov and Kahn stand on a parapet under a green awning watching the celebration. In the foreground is a bald man in a blue shirt, green tabard and blue headband, playing a long silver horn, with another man standing behind him playing another such horn. Narration boxes at the top read, “Captain’s Log: Personal. Admiral Kahn admits his mind has pushed into his subconscious most of what he saw when he stumbled into the Eye, but I observe he is indeed a changed person! Other than that, the universe seems frustratingly unchanged in view of making what could be humanity’s greatest discovery! I don’t know what Khan saw in the “Eye”--but I envy him for having seen it!”]

And that’s the end! Well, that seems to sum everything up satisfyingly. I sure can’t think of any loose ends that might need tying up here, can you? Nah, I think we’re good.

[horansqueen]

sugardaddy!niall: maybe u two have been together for awhile and he owns this company and you come to see him while he’s at work simply bc you missed him and he ends up fucking you on his desk

you request i shall write. lol seriously tho i got two asks about this so i had to write it haha! idk if its really “sugar daddy” like but its the request i got :) sooo here it is. i didnt proofread, im tired and shit. ill check that tomorrow. 2.8k SMUT.

It was the fourth evening in a row that Niall rain-checked on me.  I knew he was busy and I normally didn't insist to spend time with him, but I felt a bit neglected and I couldn't lie. I left the food I had ordered for us on the counter without even taking the time to put it in the fridge, knowing i'd probably end up eating it every evening by myself.

I grabbed a sweater quickly, hitting redial on my cellphone for the second time tonight as I walked quickly to my car. The night was warm enough for late spring but I liked keeping the windows of my car open when I drive. I groaned when it immediately reached voicemail and sat in my car, dialing an other number. It rang twice, three times, and I cursed as I started the car, putting my seat belt on. I recognized the voice immediately and licked my lips.

"Hey Cindy, it's Y/N, could you please put me in communication with my husband?"

There was a moment of hesitation on the line and she cleared her throat.

"It's good to hear from you Mrs Horan, unfortunately Mr Horan asked not to be disturbed."

I grimaced and shut my eyes tight before inhaling deeply.

"I tried reaching his cellphone but he turned it off and it's very, very important, Cindy."

It was not a complete lie but it wasn’t the truth either. I missed him, and that was important, right? I asked him a million times to tell his secretary that I was an exception to that rule but most of the time, he forgot. I couldn't blame him, he had tons of things to think about, I just wished I was in his top five.

We got married a long time ago, almost right after high school, and it's only a few years later that he decided to start his company. It was not easy at first, and there were weeks we barely survived but suddenly, things started to get better and now, we had more money we'd ever need for this lifetime, and even the next one. I would give all of it to spend every evening with him, though, but that I would never tell him.

"I'm very sorry Mrs Horan, I can't." she apologized, making me grimace again. "But as soon as I see him, I will tell him you called."

I knew it was not polite but I just sighed and hung up on her. I was getting mad that I was not getting a special treatment that wives should always get and I threw my phone on the passenger's seat in frustration.

The ride to Niall's work was short and the cool but pleasant breeze brought me back a part of my good mood. I had no idea how i'd convince Cindy to let me get to his office and I thought about it during the whole elevator ride. When the doors opened with a 'ding', I got out of my thoughts and looked up. I walked right in front of me without stopping at her desk and when she noticed me, she quickly jumped off her seat and ran after me.

"Mrs Horan, Mrs Horan I'm very sorry but like I said."

I reached Niall's door and swung it open, leaving the three of us completely motionless. Cindy's eyes got as round as two quarters and her face expressed fear but while she almost peed her pants, my lips curled when I saw my husband.

He was sitting on his desk, his phone in hands, but he had stopped mid-sentence when the door opened. After a few seconds, his face seemed to illuminate and he smiled back at me, bringing the bottom of the phone near his lips again.

"I'm gonna have to call you back." he stated, followed by a few seconds of silence. "Thank you, I'll see you tomorrow."

He hung up the phone, still staring at me, and it made me smile even more.

"I'm sorry Mister Horan, I tried to stop her but-"

"Thank you, Cindy." he cut her, his eyes never leaving me. "You can close the door behind you."

I rolled my eyes and chuckled, waiting for his secretary to do as she was told, and took a few steps closer, wrapping my arms quickly around his neck.

"I missed you too much."

"Did you?" he asked, sending me a smirk while his arms slithered around my waist, pulling me closer. "I sent you flowers though, and a note."

Once again, I chuckled.

"I got them. The house is filled with flowers. And empty of you." I argued. "When there's too many flowers, it means you haven't been home in a while."

I watched his nose raise in a grimace and slipped one of my hands in his hair. I knew he felt guilty, and that was not what I wanted. I just wanted him to spend  time with me.

"I'm sorry, petal."

I shivered at the nickname and tilted my head, my eyes roaming on his face.

"Next time you come home don't be surprised if I hit you with a pan." I joked, shrugging. "I haven't seen you there in so long I may not recognize you at all."

He laughed and pulled me closer, his lips pressing softly against mine. My eyes fluttered close and I sighed low, feeling happiness fill my whole body. The fact that I was still so in love after so long was not even surprising to me. He was perfect. Well, when he was there.

"I miss you too, petal." he whispered, deepening the kiss as he pushed my body more against him.

I brought my hands to his cheeks, cupping his face, kissing him harder and deeper, letting out a short whimper. He swallowed it and groaned, his lips reaching my jaw and brushing down to my neck.

"We could have done this at home." I pointed out in a murmur, making him move away slightly to look in my eyes.

"But would it be as exciting?"

I laughed, shaking my head as I stared at him.

"What are you saying? Do you plan on fucking me here?"

His smile turned into a smirk and it made my heart jump in my chest. I was waiting for him to laugh and admit he was kidding but he just grabbed the bottom of my sweater and pulled it off, letting it fall next to his desk. I felt like I should have dressed better but he still studied me attentively, his eyes moving down on my shirt and jeans.

"Oh I do."

I licked my lips and waited a few seconds before bringing my hands to his tie, loosening it a bit. I bit my bottom lip and tilted my head as I started working on the buttons of his shirt.

"Do you know how hot you look wearing that?" I asked, my eyes following my fingers as it reached the last button. "You're always hot but the suit is just on an other level."

"Is it?" he wondered, making me nod. "Do you know what's my favorite outfit on you?"

I shook my head, bringing my eyes back up into his as I ran my hands on his chest gently, my fingertips brushing against his skin. I was starting to be turned on and I had to admit that doing this in his office was exciting. It was not what I came here for, but I would definitely not decline the proposition.

"I love when you wear absolutely nothing."

I felt my lips curl into a large smile and licked them slowly.

"That can be arranged." I laughed, making him grin again.

I took my shirt off as he worked on my jeans and when I stepped out of them, I stood almost naked in front of him. His hands reached for my waist and slid up to my breasts. He let out a low groan as his thumbs rubbed against my nipples and I tried to forget about the throbbing between my legs.

"I love when you don't wear a bra, petal."

My lips parted and I unbuttoned his pants quickly, dropping to my knees. His fingers brushed on my cheeks and I brought his pants and boxers down before looking up. I smiled at his tie clearly pointing me to his half-erected cock and I wrapped both my hands around it. Bringing my face closer, I started sucking on his head, my hands working on him slowly.

"Fuck, pet, don't be a tease."

I smiled, one of my hands moving to his balls as I took him deeper. I felt his cock swell on my tongue and moaned low, making him groan. He looked down at me, grabbing his tie and throwing it over his shoulder to see me better. His fingers slipped in my hair and he gripped it hard, holding my head in place as he thrust slightly in my mouth. I felt the tip of his dick reach the back of my throat and gagged a bit, making him smile. He pulled on my hair, making his cock slip out and my head move back, bending down to me and crushing his lips against mine.

"Get up."

I obeyed immediately and he pushed me against his desk, bending closer to me. His lips once again ended on my neck and he nibbled gently on my skin as he pushed the stuff on his desk. His papers and documents fell on the floor with a surprising noise and I held my breath, turning around to see a cup of cold coffee and his computer were the only things left close to me. He grabbed my waist and helped me sit on the warm wood of his desk, pulling on my panties a bit roughly. I squirmed to help him and he threw them away, instantly moving down to press his lips between my legs. Once again, I inhaled deeply and held my breath as he avidly ran his tongue on my pussy. I held myself on my elbows to take a look at him, bringing my feet on the desk, opening my legs even more to give him a better access. I tried hoping for no one to walk in without knocking but all I could focus on was how his lips wrapped perfectly around my clit. He sucked on it hard and one of my legs started shaking as I did my best to keep my moans low. His tongue slipped inside me and he groaned against me, bringing me even closer to an orgasm.

I gripped his hair hard and pulled on it. His eyes met mine as he sucked on my pussy again and I bit my bottom lip so hard I almost hurt myself.

"Please, Niall, fuck me."

My voice was low but pleasing and when he got up, I lied down on his desk, my messy hair spread around my head and grabbed his shirt, pulling him on top of me. I whimpered against his mouth when I felt his hard cock press on my pussy. His tip slipped inside me easily as I kissed him harder and deeper. He held himself over me, his forearms on each side of my face, and pushed himself slowly inside me while I wrapped my legs around him.

"Oh my god, Niall, I can't believe you're fucking me here." I whispered, making him chuckle against my mouth.

"Do you know how many times I thought about this?"

His words made me shiver and i closed my eyes as he pulled his head away slightly, moving his hips to go in and out of me extremely slowly. I whimpered every single time he was completely inside me and he finally bent down again to grab my upper lip between his, sucking on it gently.

"You feel so fucking amazing, petal." he murmured. "I'm so in love with you."

It didn't matter how many times he said that, and it didn't matter how many times we had sex, it always felt as special as the first time.

"I'm in love with you too." I breathed, grinning back when he sends me a fond smile.

He moved back up to stand, his hands fondling my thighs before he started fucking me harder. I felt myself jerk with each thrust and my heart jumped in my chest when I noticed his eyes roaming on my body.

"Do you know how much I love watching your tits move while I fuck you?" he admitted in a low tone, putting his hands on my knees and holding them, spreading my legs to go deeper. "It makes me want to cum inside you."

I nibbled on my bottom lip and brought both my hands to my breasts, grabbing them harder and moaning low.

"Fuck, you're perfect."

He took a step back and let go of my knees. I grimaced slightly when I felt his cock slip out of me completely and he helped me up, kissing me some more. His dick spread my own wetness on my lower stomach as he pulled me closer, pushing his body against mine and after a few minutes, he gently turned me around and pushed on my back. I bent down, my chest pressing on the desk and held my breath when I felt his hand hit one of my ass cheeks gently the first time and then much harder. With his free hand, he hit my other cheek with his cock a few times, the sound bringing the perfect image of it in my head. I wiggled a bit and he chuckled, gripping my ass with both hands and spreading it a bit, positioning his dick before pushing himself inside me again.

"Oh god," I moaned, feeling myself throb around him.

A knock at the door was heard and we both held out breaths and stopped moving. He bent down, his chest against my back as his hand pressed firmly on my mouth.

"I'm busy, come back later." he almost yelled after clearing his throat.

"But Mister Wilson is on the phone, and he says it's urgent."

"Tell him I'll call him back." he argued again.

"But he-"

"Cindy." he expressed harshly. "I'm busy."

We waited until the sound of her high heels disappeared and he let go of my mouth, making me lick my lips.

"She said it was urgent." I pointed out, a bit mad that I was unable to see his face.

However, I could feel him breathe, his chest moving against my back, and I knew his heart was beating as hard and as fast as mine.

"The real emergency here is to make my beautiful wife cum."

I chuckled, feeling his lips on my shoulder, and ground my ass against him. I closed my eyes, feeling his cock go deeper inside me and he groaned against my skin, his arm wrapping around me to reach between my legs. He started fucking me again, slowly and then quicker, while rubbing my clit in motion with his thrusts.

"Oh fuck, Niall, I'm gonna cum."

I shut my eyes tighter and pushed myself against him more, fucking myself harder on his dick, his fingers following my rhythm.

"Do it, I want to feel you cum around my cock."

I held my breath as I started shaking against him, my fingers trying to grip something and my nails scraping on the wood of his desk.

"Fuck, I'm cumming!"

I tried not to be too loud and he kept rubbing me and fucking me through my orgasm.

"I fucking love watching you cum."

When I stopped quivering and got down from my high, he let go of me to grip my waist and fuck me harder, trying to reach his peak too. It only took a few seconds and he took a step back, slipping out of me. I felt the tip of his cock brush over and over on my ass as he jerked himself until he came, spurting on me.

"Jesus Christ, you're so hot."

Unexpectedly, he pushed his still hard cock inside me again, fucking me and cumming inside me. He pulled out, breathing through his teeth while his hands ran on my back. We were both a panting mess and he finally bent over against my back again.

"Mm, I just came here to beg you to come home." I admitted in a low tone. "But I got more than I thought I'd get."

Niall laughed, trailing kisses on my shoulders, making goosebumps appear on my back, his lips pressing on my salty skin.

"You should have called." he whispered, his mouth brushing against me.

"I tried but your cellphone is off and your secretary said you didn't want to be disturbed."

"She should know you never ever bother me." he let out, his hands caressing gently my waist and down my thighs.

"You should tell her that."

"Trust me, I will." he promised. "As long as you visit more often."

[yourkeeperoftherunners]

Novice [Epilogue]

Plot: AU Your neighbor summoned a demon for a good time, except he somehow overshot things and landed in your apartment. (Despite the lack of a pentagram.) He keeps showing up and oddly, he makes it a point to stop by after he’s done with her.

Rating: R (Language, sex, incubus mythology, oral, body worship)

Characters: Incubus!Jungkook x Older Female Reader, Riley OC, plus mention of other members.

Notes: I am not an expert on demonology. This was based off a comical dream I had about someone accidentally ending up in my apartment when in reality they were looking for someone else. (The figure in the dream wasn’t a demon per se but a rookie individual that wasn’t human who appeared in places without using the front door.) This is set several months after the series. If you are under 18+ or the legal age in your country, please skip this chapter!

Please no reposting anywhere!

[6]

“It’s not a good thing,” you huffed as you climbed the stairs, tugging at your shirt collar.

“But you got to leave work early!” Jin whined. “Well, hopefully you can enjoy some time to yourself this evening before the weekend. I wish I could get out early too – still wanna try that place with all those eating stalls in it.”

“Yeah we can try doing that sometime this weekend,” you mumbled as you unlocked the door. “Get back to work Seokjin.”

He sighed before hanging up and you wiped some sweat off your forehead. You dropped your briefcase by the door and toed your shoes off.

The A/C in your office gave out before lunch and the building became too hot to work in safely. A secretary had fainted and the management ordered everyone to go home and enjoy the rest of the day while they worked with maintenance on a fix. Jin complained that you were lucky, while you were done sitting and roasting in a hot building trying to finish a project for your boss.

You peeled off your clothes and turned on the shower, sighing as the lukewarm water hit your skin. Your eyes closed as you stepped under the stream of water to wash your hair quickly.

You picked up your soap bar and lathered up, washing your entire body before removing the showerhead to rinse off the suds. The stream of water hit your outer lips and you jolted slightly.

It had been a while since you had felt any aches or seen anyone to help you get off. Actually, you couldn’t recall the last time you got any action, but you had been pretty busy with life and work lately. You replaced the showerhead and quickly stepped under the stream to rinse off any remaining soap and shampoo.

A quiet pop made you pry your eyes open and your eyes widened when they met the familiar amber hues for a second.

“JUNGKOOK!” you yelled as you turned your back to him.

He covered his eyes with his hands and rambled a string of apologies, all while his cheeks flushed pink.

“What are you even doing here?” you demanded as you shut off the shower, keeping your back to him.

“Jimin-hyung was visiting your friend Jin’s office for business – he overheard you talking to him during a break,” Jungkook admitted. “Something about the A/C in your building going out?”

“Yeah the A/C failed at work so everyone had to go home,” you sighed. “I decided to shower once I got home because we all got really sweaty – someone actually fainted from the heat.”

“I got a little worried so I wanted to make sure noona was okay,” he explained. “I didn’t mean to bother you or see anything I shouldn’t. I’m so sorry.” He turned away and looked at the door, allowing his hands to fall to his sides. “When hyung said your building, I misunderstood and thought he meant your apartment building. I guess that’s why I rushed over. I wanted to see if there was a way I could help, like maybe take you for ice cream or something?”

You sighed as you studied his body language and reactions, realizing that he was unfortunate in his timing and his intentions were pure. As for Jimin, you had to wonder if that guy was up to something or was also making an incorrect assumption based on what he heard bits and pieces of. You opened the door to the shower and reached for your towel, using it to dry yourself off, then wrapping it securely around your body.

You closed the shower door and retrieved your comb, carefully combing out all the tangles. Jungkook kept his eyes averted and you watched as he shifted uncomfortably in his spot.

“Noona...you said you were just showering, right? You weren’t doing anything naughty?” he asked.

You put the comb down and threw him a look. His face went from pink to slightly red and he mumbled that it was probably too personal to ask.

“I guess I’m a little curious about how noona takes care of herself,” he confessed. “I know you haven’t seen anyone new so...?”

“Are you making an offer Kook?” you asked as you turned to face him.

Jungkook tried to form a coherent sentence at your inquiry and you chuckled as you studied the young incubus.

When you first met him, his hair was a raspberry color; currently it was black, parted in the middle with bangs sweeping out in either direction. Today’s outfit was casual: white short-sleeved tee that barely seemed to fit his impressive torso, fitted black jeans with rips in them, and sneakers. There had been a period where he tried to change everything to give off a more stereotypical seductive look attributed to his kind, but it looked like he found a balance between his personal style and being a bit edgy, but sexy.

You walked over to the young incubus, reaching a hand up to stroke a rogue piece of hair out of his eyes. He looked up from the floor, eyes watching as your fingers grazed his hair.

“Black looks good,” you remarked. “This new?”

“Today actually,” he replied. “This is my normal color – felt it was nice to go back to it for a change.”

You nodded as you dropped your hand – or tried to. Jungkook gently caught it and pressed the knuckles to his lips, amber hues locked on yours.

“Are you trying to seduce me?” you teased.

“Trying, but I know noona usually says ‘You’re not getting laid’ or something like that,” Jungkook replied as he smoothed his thumbs over your hand.

You pretended to think it over, noticing that young man’s shoulders sagged. With your free hand, you guided his other hand to the area where you tucked the top of the towel in to hold it in place. You bit back a laugh as the amber eyes went as wide as saucers and he blinked before looking at where his free hand was, then at you.

“Wait, really? Noona’s sure?” he asked.

“C’mon kiddo, I’ll admit that you’ve piqued my interest after all those visits to Miss Personality earlier this year,” you said. “By the way, she’s no longer living here – someone finally filed enough complaints to get her evicted.”

Jungkook’s eyes narrowed slightly at the nickname and he scrunched his nose. “Noona, you promised not to call me that!”

“You keep forgetting it’s a habit,” you reminded him. “So are we doing this or not?”

“Yes! Actually, as cliche as this sounds, I was hoping to have noona from the first time I saw her,” he confessed as his hand lifted the towel edge from the section it was tucked into.

“Cheesy, but I know you’re being honest,” you replied as you helped him remove the towel from your body.

The incubus blinked, lips parting in shock when the towel dropped. A few seconds ticked by and he shyly hovered his hands near your waist, checking for permission.

“It’s okay,” you reassured him.

His hands gently rested around your waist and his eyes quietly roamed across your body, taking in every detail. You traced a hand along his jawbone, resting it on his cheek before standing up on tiptoe to plant a kiss on his lips.

The incubus was stunned but he quickly tugged your body closer to his, one arm leaving your waist to wrap around your shoulders. You grunted when your body pressed against hard muscles and a growing boner. Guess the nickname ‘kiddo’ was no longer fitting for him if he was this ripped.

“The doctor must love you since it’s clear you work out,” you joked as you pulled away.

“Noona likes muscles?” he teased as he yanked his shirt off.

“I’m not picky,” you replied. “Fit or not, I like you Kook. You sort of grew on me with that puffed cheek thing you do when you eat.”

“Ah noona!”

“What? You look so happy when you’re eating!” you protested. “It’s endearing okay? I’m happy when you’re eating well.”

Jungkook allowed a smile to cross his lips and you stepped back, preparing to help him remove his belt and pants as you started to kneel. He froze and quickly grabbed your hand.

“Noona, wait.”

“Sorry, am I going too fast?” you asked.

He carefully knelt down and scooped you up in his arms. You squeaked in surprise and he laughed lightly at your reaction. He began heading toward your room and you stared at him in confusion.

“Noona, we’re not doing that today,” he explained. “You’ve listened to me, given me advice, and you’ve kept me fed. I’ve taken a lot so it’s time I paid you back.”

“I didn’t do that much!”

Jungkook shushed you before placing you gently on your bed. He removed his shoes at the foot of your bed, placing them outside the door to your room. The gesture made you laugh and shake your head as he returned, mumbling that he wanted to be courteous.

“I should have left them at your front door,” he apologized.

“Ah it’s fine,” you dismissed it.

He slowly lowered his knees to your mattress, crawling toward you with a soft smile. Arms caged you in as he hovered above you, amber eyes studying your features thoughtfully.

“Are you sure you’re all human noona?” he asked as he leaned closer for a quick peck.

“As far as I know, yes.”

“Hmm...” he hummed as his lips trailed down your jaw, then neck. His eyes drifted to yours as he hovered over your cleavage, looking for permission.

“You said you’re taking care of me – I’m in your hands tonight,” you reminded him. “So, you’ve thought about this a lot, huh?”

“A few times,” he insisted before gentle kisses grazed both breasts. “Um, okay maybe more than a few.” He continued to kiss his way down your body, pausing as he reached below your navel. “Are you...okay with me tasting you?”

“Yes,” you said. You ran your fingers through his hair and he closed his eyes.

“I know I’m taking forever, but I don’t want to assume,” he murmured as he nudged your thighs apart.

“I’m not complaining,” you told him. “Consent is important – your mom taught you well.”

He beamed at the compliment as his hands rested on your thighs, thumbs gently stroking the skin on the inner areas. He lowered his head to your core, flicking his tongue out before pressing it tentatively against your clit.

You let out a soft groan, hips jolting forward slightly at the motion. His eyes watched you as his tongue traced the outer lips, then dragged downward against your entrance. He flattened his palms on your thighs, then flicked his tongue back and forth against your entrance, watching as your body reacted.

“Kook –”

“Too much?” he asked.

“Don’t stop,” you managed to get out.

A small smirk crossed his lips before he returned his tongue to your entrance, slowly easing it inside. Your eyes widened as you felt something warm, slightly rough, and wet inside of you. Wait, was that all his –

Before you could question it, your eyes squeezed shut as the long muscle curled against a sensitive area inside you. Your lips parted for air and you let out a shaky moan as his tongue curled inside of you.

He grunted as your fingers tugged at his strands, taking that as his cue to keep going, curling against your spot. With each flick, he felt your juices trickle onto his tongue and he groaned, savoring the taste. He couldn’t put it into words, but there was something about how you tasted that was perfection.

“Oh, oh, oh,” you moaned. “Oh Kook – ahhh that feels so...mmph!”

His eyes flickered up as he watched you grind against his mouth, getting closer to your release. He narrowed his eyes as he picked up the pace gradually, feeling your spot start to swell, which told him you were close.

His hands rested on your hips and he gently massaged his thumbs against the skin in circular motions as you rode out your high. Your hands loosened in his hair and you struggled to catch your breath. For a few seconds, you pried your eyes open and they fluttered when you felt Jungkook’s tongue teasing at the entrance to your folds with light kitten licks.

“Kook easy,” you managed to get out. “Hey, I’m sensitive...please.”

Jungkook pouted as he withdrew his tongue and licked off a small drip from the corner of his mouth. He pushed himself up and hovered over you, studying your face for your reaction.

“Noona? Are you okay? Was that too much?” he asked. His fingers brushed your hair out of your eyes and you shook your head.

A weak chuckle escaped from your lips and you teased, “You’ve got quite a tongue there Mr. You sure you’re a rookie?”

Jungkook reddened and stammered, a hand going to the back of his neck. You took this moment to sit up and you gently cupped his face in your hands. His eyes met yours and you smiled softly.

“I didn’t know I needed that, but thank you Kookie,” you murmured. “I’m going to need to clean up again, but did you want to cuddle?”

Jungkook rose from the bed and he insisted he would grab a towel for you. You started to protest, but he was already making a beeline for the bathroom, returning seconds later. He prompted you to lie back as he cleaned you off with a washcloth, then using a towel to dry you off.

“Noona, did you want my shirt?” he asked once he came back from putting the towel and washcloth in the bathroom. He had it in one hand and he offered it to you, which you accepted and slid over your head.

“Be honest Noona, was that really okay?” he asked as he settled under the covers with you.

You hummed as you rolled on your side to face him, snuggling against his chest. “You are very talented with your mouth Kook,” you replied. “I haven’t had anyone go down on me that well in all the years I’ve dated.”

“Guess that practice at school came in handy,” he confessed, a blush coloring his face. “Ah – with toys Noona! I, I mean, we, we didn’t practice on humans or other species!”

“Wow, they teach you how to give head in school?” you teased. “I probably shouldn’t ask how they teach the real act, right?”

Jungkook leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“Shh Noona, please rest. If you want, we can do that another time.”

[shownuslaugh]

Humble (Part 1)

            “...She’s the closest thing North America has to actual royalty.”

            Maybe that’s the problem.

            Maybe you need to be brought down a few notches.

            Maybe you need to be humbled.

You hate travelling. You hate flying. After it’s all said and done, you’re left feeling sick and irritable, ready to tell your father you’re done with all of it. Yet there are some trips you just can’t resist taking. When your father’s- technically your whole family’s, you suppose- press secretary came to you with an invitation to visit SM Entertainment not even an hour after you gave an interview where you expressed interest in the South Korean music industry, you knew you couldn’t turn it down. For one, you were scheduled to meet with President Moon on behalf of your father later in the month, so you would already be in South Korea. Secondly, meeting some of SM’s employees and learning about the company itself could only help your newest project.

             So, off you went.

             “Do we need to go over the itinerary again?” Jack, a longtime friend of your family, and your father’s most trusted senior aide, takes a seat beside you on the plane. His eyes never look up from the over packed, over highlighted schedule carefully crafted for the month you’ll spend in Seoul.

             “No.” But you know he’ll do it anyway.

             “When we land you’ll be greeted by President Moon,” he launches wholeheartedly into his relay of events. “Remember to bow. You won’t shake hands unless he offers, and-”

             “Jack,” you put your hand on his shoulder to stop him before he launches into a fit. “This isn’t my first time here or meeting President Moon. I know what to do.”

             “Fine. Tell me what we’re doing next then.”

             “Next is breakfast with President Moon and his family. After that we go back to our hotel and rest for a bit before going to Yongsan Garrison and meeting with some of the troops there.”

             “Then?”

             You huff in annoyance. “Then that’s it for today. Tomorrow we go to SM Entertainment and meet with Lee SooMan and whoever else he wants to introduce me to.”

             Jack smiles, looking pleased with himself. He knows he’s annoyed you and gotten under your skin, but that’s how your relationship has always been. He pushes, you pull, both of you fall.

             “We land in an hour.” He checks your appearance from head to toe with a grimace. “You might want to freshen up. I think Marie has your outfit ready and Roderick is ready to touch up your hair and makeup.”

             When you don’t move, Jack rolls his eyes. “Well? What are you waiting for? I told you we land in an hour.”

             You look out the window of the plane with a sudden sense of trepidation. You’ve been doing this for practically your entire life, watching your father go from mayor, to senator, to governor, to vice president, to president. Something about this trip feels different, though. You can’t really put your finger on it. There’s just this sense of wrong in the air that presses on your chest.

             Or maybe the plane is just crashing.

             Who knows?

             “Go get ready,” Jack tells you when you don’t say anything to him.

             You mock him silently, twisting your face into an ugly mimicry of his. You’re a grown woman who knows what she’s doing. Not a child that needs to be reminded how to behave every ten seconds.

             “I saw that.” Jack doesn’t look up from his clipboard.

~~~

             All of your meetings for the day go off without a hitch. President Moon was as happy as he always is to see you, asking after your family when the cameras went away during breakfast. After that, touring Yongsan Garrison was equally as pleasurable. Part of you wished for more time, but you knew you’d manage to squeeze some in later in the month. At least… if things went well. Which there’s no reason they wouldn’t. Right? You honestly aren’t sure.

             You’ve always been the type to lend a hand. To help others. It’s just who you are. Your heart is often in the right place, but sometimes your head isn’t. Sometimes when all you mean is to help you end up hurting people you never intended. It’s why so many of your projects fail in the long run.

             But this project…

             This project can’t fail.

             There’s too much at stake.

             People’s lives are at stake.

             “Hey,” Jack elbows you, pulling you from your thoughts. “When we get to the hotel, go right to bed. Don’t try exploring. We have an early start in the morning. They’re expecting us at SM at eight sharp.”

             “Why so early?”

             “Because you have lunch with Lee EunKyung at noon.”

             “So we hit the ground running with this.”

             Jack cuts off the screen of his phone, ignoring the conversation he’d been having with his assistant to look at you. “Isn’t that what you wanted? To honor your friend?”

             “Yes.”

             “Then it should be obvious we’re getting this started as soon as possible. Someone with your power and prestige getting involved with an organization like this is going to mean so much. It’ll show a true desire for reform.”

             You look down at your hands folded across your lap. “You’re right.”

             “Of course I am.” Jack goes back to his phone. “Stop frowning. You’ll get wrinkles.”

             The next day you’re woken up at four a.m. on the dot by Jack. He swarms in your room with an army of stylists, makeup artists, hair dressers, and the First Family’s private photographers. Without a word, Jack shoves a cup of Starbucks coffee in your hand and starts reading off your itinerary. He blows through it without issue; however, your brain is still foggy from sleep and you don’t catch onto anything except the two words SM Entertainment. It’s the only thing you can focus on as you’re shoved into a nicely pressed cream colored dress and made up like a doll.

             “If we don’t leave in five minutes we’ll be late, and I refuse to allow that.” Jack waves away the photographers and stylists. “Her makeup and hair should be understated anyway. This is an official visit. Not some celebrity photo op. Plus, I’m sure Miss Lee would appreciate having lunch with an actual human as opposed to a celebrity. Something tells me she’s had her fill.”

             “But,” Tati- your favorite makeup artist- says with a frown. “She is a celebrity. She’s the First Daughter.”

             Jack gives her an unamused look. “Yes. Everyone knows who she is. She doesn’t need everything caked on and done up to stand out and be beautiful. Hurry up and finish.”

             Everything becomes a blur of motion and noise. You’re rushed from your hotel room, to the car, to SM Entertainment. In the back of your head you can hear the sirens of your police escort, but you can only focus on the hum of Jack’s voice in your ear.

             “We were emailed last night with a list of names.” Jack looks over his notes as he speaks to you. “There have been a few changes as to who will be with President Lee while he takes you on the tour. We have our own interpreters of course, but he insisted on wanting a few of his artists to be there as well.”

             “For me to speak with after.”

             “Yes. Originally it was meant to be a few kids named Johnny, Amber, and Wendy. They changed it last minute, so now we’re stuck with someone named…” Jack flips through a few pages. “Siwon Choi.”

             You shake your head. “Who’s that?”

             “Super Junior member, around your age, active with UNICEF and a few other charity organizations, rich.”

             “Sounds like he’s exactly your type, Jackie.”

             Jack snorts. “Please. These Korean boys are too pretty for me. I like ‘em rugged.”

             The car comes to a stop and the sirens fade away. Jack looks at you, quirking a perfectly sculpted eyebrow. “Ready?”

             “As I’ll ever be.”

             He nods to the driver and your door opens. Early morning sunlight pours into the heavily tented car. You sigh in relief, loving the warmth of the sun on your chilled skin. Jack slides out before you, offering you his arm and tucking you close- but not too close- to his side. He leaves just enough room for you to be seen by everyone (including the cameras and photographers), but stays close enough to your side that he can cover you if something goes wrong.

             Plus, the two of you look damn good standing beside each other.

             “President Lee.” You smile brightly and bow at the waist. Your Korean is passable, but any in depth conversation will require an interpreter. “Lovely to meet you.”

             Lee SooMan smiles back at you and says, “Thank you for accepting our invitation. I would like to introduce you to one of our artists: Choi Siwon.” He gestures to the tall man at his right.

             You look Siwon up and down, from head to toe. Jack has a point about pretty boys, you realize. Siwon is tall and slightly muscular, but his features are a tad bit delicate. He’s got a sharp jawline and a nice smile as well. He’s very… pretty.

             “Oh, yes, I heard he would be joining us.” You bow to Siwon. “Lovely to meet you as well.”

             The look he gives you is equal parts curious and annoyed, leaving you wondering what you did wrong.

             Just get through this tour with him, you tell yourself. Don’t let this first impression leave a bad taste in your mouth. Be polite. Be interested.

             “Please,” SooMan says. “Follow me.”

~~~

             “Ah! Siwon!” Shindong waves at Siwon who is grumpily making his way over. “What’s that look for?”

“She’s spoiled,” Siwon mutters as he walks back inside the studio, loosening his tie and taking a seat beside Leeteuk. “She has no sense of her position in society. I’ve never met someone more obtuse and-”

             “Hot,” Shindong adds in. “She’s hot as hell, bro.”

             Siwon can’t argue. When he first saw you stand there beside President Lee, he was taken aback by your easy grace and warm smile. It was only when you opened your mouth that the illusion was shattered so completely.

             “Looks don’t mean much if there’s nothing substantial behind them.”

             Leeteuk grins crookedly. “Don’t be pouty just because she’s not what you expected. At least we got to meet her. She’s the closest thing North America has to actual royalty.”

             Maybe that’s the problem.

             Maybe you need to be brought down a few notches.

             Maybe you need to be humbled.

             “Hey, I know that look.” Leeteuk points to Siwon’s face. “Whatever you’re thinking, forget it. Don’t bother someone above you. She doesn’t have time for whatever little game you want to play.”

             “Did you know she’s coming back tomorrow?” Siwon taps his fingers against the arm of his chair. “President Lee invited her to meet all of us.”

             Shindong’s eyes widen. “Really?”

             “Yes.”

             Leeteuk tries to hide his dopey grin but fails. “You don’t think she agreed because she has a crush on one of us, do you?”

             “No way! Hyung, why would she like any of us? She’s a president’s daughter. She probably has a ton of rich men begging for her. We’re nothing compared to that.” Shindong sighs. “It’s a nice dream though.”

             “You never know. Miss Universe is a fan.”

             Siwon makes an annoyed noise. “I would take Miss Universe over that woman any day. President’s daughter or not.”

             Shindong and Leeteuk share a look. It’s not that often someone gets under Siwon’s skin like this. In fact, it almost never happens.

             “What did she do that’s so terrible?” Leeteuk tilts his head to the side. “Was she rude?”

             “Hyung, don’t worry about it. I’m sure the rest of you will like her.”