#except gary is turned away and you can't see him

[genersones]

If nobody got me I know jesus got me

[octopiys]

Cw: blood, body horror, mentions of torture/death

Nature conservation officer!Johnny who the second the thing leaves his sight, he's back inside, dialing his work place and calling his friend Gary, who's had the misfortune of picking up night shifts recently.

NCO!Johnny who's voice shakes when he tries to recount the beast, slipping a little too far into a panicked gaelic before he hears a knock at the door. He sets the phone down.

Mind you, it's still very early hours of the morning, and he never expects any guests.

NCO!Johnny, who's never forgotten a lesson from his grandma, seared into his brain like the wards on the walls of his old cottage.

He grabs a pair of old iron shears.

The back of his neck prickles.

He looks through the peephole.

Soldier!Simon who hates Mexico. It's nothing like the highlands that he had grown to call home. His team was odd, but they were nice enough, for the most part. They worked well together.

Soldier!Simon, who approaches the cartel house, a huge mansion hidden in the words. The hair on his arms raises, like his body was trying to tell him something his mind didn't know. But he brushes it off as mission jitters.

Soldier!Simon who notices the rings of mushrooms around the mansion.

When they were young, Johnny used to tell him stories of mythological creatures, warnings his grandmother passed down of what to avoid and what not to avoid.

She called these things fae circles.

But they're all just stories, trying to scare little kids and teenagers into behaving.

He's a soldier now, he knows better.

They make their way to the side of the house, breaching the perimeter and filing in. He turns to make sure his Major gets in fine, and sees something just beyond the trees. Something massive, and lurking, and he blinks and it's gone.

Soldier!Simon who doesn't realize until the gun is turned on him that he's been betrayed, it isn't until he's bleeding out that he thinks of Johnny.

The stupid smile that cut through the clouded haze when he was a teen, after his father had been caught and arrested, his whole life uprooted and moved north to Scotland. Piercing blue eyes that lit up when he realized he was actually listening to him. When he fell out of the tree, and Johnny was the first person to run up and check if he was okay.

Captive!Simon who was pulled up by his hair, looking into the face of a beast that his mind couldn't quite comprehend, making his skin go cold and eyes go wide. A beast that feasted on blood or must've, something of the sort. It smelled like wet earth and rich iron, and something dark mouths around his skin. It sets off pins and needles beneath his flesh, worse than any torture he's endured yet. Something molds, and shifts, and he can't tell if he's screaming or not.

[REDACTED]!Simon who can't draw the line between feeling real and not existing at all. Something has shifted, like his bones don't sit right, his hands too heavy, his breath too slow.

He opens his eyes and finds his own, staring back at him.

Except they weren't. They weren't his. Those eyes blinked too hard at him, it's face splitting into a terrifying grin, too wide, with too many teeth, and it turns away. He's filled with dread, as the seeping darkness pulls him to his knees. The ground shifts around him, and he swears he sees mushrooms pop up around him.

The earth swallows him up, and he is no more.

No one's at his door.

NCO!Johnny who picks up the phone, still shaking, and apologizes to Gary, who thinks he's been eaten by a bear or something. He calms the poor kid's heart as he hangs the iron shears in his window, like his grandma is whispering in his ear.

Superstitious!Johnny, who doesn't sleep that night. He's never seen anything like that thing. It's massive, and it must thrive around his ecosystem, which would explain why the deer population was dwindling. It would need to support himself off of larger creatures.... would it....

Does it eat humans?

The hair on the back of his neck raises again, and he looks out the window.

Superstitious!Johnny, who finds himself looking for Simon's eyes. His real ones. Kind and soft and honey colored, ones that harden in an instant at the sight of something unjust, ones that sparkle when he talks too long. Not the ones that replaced him next door, muddy and cold and dark, not an ounce of kindness in them.

Whatever moved in next door was most certainly not the Simon that he knew.

Fae!Simon who exists in the woods. Something is familiar here. The smell, maybe. The taste of it on his tongue. Too much light hurt his eyes, but the green shade was calming. It soothed the too many voices in his head.

There's a warm light outside of the woods. It doesn't hurt his eyes. Its.... comforting. The deer skull on his face fits him like a mask. Antlers sprouted out, and he didn't know if it was him, or the skull. He didn't have much sense of self, so it didn't bother him too much.

Fae!Simon who's ears hurt when something beneath him bends and contorts, metal scraping and shrieking on itself. He crumples it in his grip, satisfied when it no longer makes noise. He drops it.

There's more light, and he looks up, pupils dilating as a figure appears.

It's bigger than the ones he's found in the woods, ones that smell like rot, ones there long before he found them. This one was upright. This one moved, and breathed, and smelled great.

Home, the beast in his chest purred at the sight of this little creature in the doorway, and the voices in his head quieted.

It was too bright, as a beacon shines in his eyes, shooting pain through his head, and he turns away, seeking the safety of the woods again.

Changeling!Ghost, who sees John on the phone. Witch, the voice inside of him growls. Witch.

Changeling!Ghost who's knuckles burn from the iron embedded into the door, who shouldn't have knocked in the first place.

Changeling/Replacement!Ghost, who vows that he needs to get rid of the fae in the forest. It's starting to intervene too much with his work.

Find part 1 here, and part 3 here

Taglist: @impossibletopronounce

Inspired by Meet Me In The Woods by Lord Huron

Questions? My ask box is open!!! <3

[player1064]

Loved your Jamie Carragher character thesis statement post! It actually made me think of a prompt or short story if you are still doing them. A 5+1 story of Gary making Jamie contradict how he acts/personality. Maybe from the viewpoints of others and the +1 can be Gary defending Jamie personality/character. Again love your drabbles and stories!

im ngl i DID set out to do this as a 5+1 but I. ran out of steam a bit (bitches when their meds are out of stock etc). so instead have a 4+0 😅

---

Philip.

Phil has abandoned the boardroom and is wandering around Hotel Football in search of snacks when he comes upon a small kitchenette where Jamie is busy swearing at a kettle.

He hadn't realised Jamie was here too, he and the other lads have been stuck in a meeting with Gary for hours now and there'd been no mention of it, but it's not that surprising when he thinks about it.

"Alright, Carra?" he greets, and Jamie turns to him with a muttered fuck.

"Hi, Phil," he says with an exasperated sigh. "Your twat of a brother asked me to fetch him some tea, and –”

He gestures hopelessly at the counter behind him, which is in such a state it looks as though a small bomb has gone off.

"Oh," says Phil. "Tea is really difficult, to be fair. Can't you find one of the staff members to help you?"

"No, I –” Jamie runs a hand through his hair, frustrated. "He asked me."  

Redders.

Jamie sees it moments before it happens, in excruciating slow motion – like when a gun goes off in films. Gary’s hovering around Carra, trying unsuccessfully to get his attention, and when he gives up and reaches to jostle Carra’s shoulder Jamie waits for the inevitable snap.

Except, Carra doesn’t snap. He doesn’t jerk away, he looks at Gary and he beams. If it was any other person Jamie could’ve sworn he was leaning in to the touch, because Gary’s hand stays in place even while they talk.

When they’re setting up to film, Gary shifts his chair closer to Carra’s so that their knees are touching, and Carra doesn’t roll his eyes or move away. When Carra tells a joke that’s got Gary doubled over with laughter, Gary spreads a hand between Carra’s shoulder blades and nothing happens.

The whole day is full of things like that, tiny casual touches which should be normal, which are normal for anyone other than Carra. Jamie, worried that he’s gone mad and misremembered a fundamental fact about Carra, even tries an experiment once or twice: he claps a hand on Carra’s back, or he throws an arm around his shoulders in a friendly side hug. Carra twitches at the contact every single time, a miniscule reaction honed out of years of needing to be polite, and he carefully shifts away from Jamie’s touch with a suspicious side-eye.

When they’re leaving the studio that evening to go to the pub, Gary slaps Carra’s bum as he walks through the doorway and all Carra does is grin.

Stevie.

“Who the fuck are you texting?”

“Huh?” Jamie blinks, looks up at Stevie over his glasses like he’d forgotten he was there. “Oh, just Gary.”

“Didn’t yous see ‘im earlier today?”

“Yeah, why?”

Stevie is lucky if he gets one text a month from Jamie, even luckier if he sees him in person more than twice a year. It’s never bothered him much, he knows what Jamie’s like, knows that anyone not sat directly in front of him is prone to being dismissed as a distraction. There aren’t really friends in Jamie’s world, just allies and enemies.

So he’s not really sure what to do with this version of Jamie, the one who leaves Gary Neville’s company (and Gary Neville, really?) only to immediately open his phone and start texting Gary Neville.

Every time his phone pings he opens it up and does a stupid little snicker at whatever Gary’s sent him, never mind that he’s meant to be mid-conversation with Stevie. Every bloody anecdote seems to start with ‘so me and Gary were –’, or ‘Gary was saying –’. Even the stories that aren’t about work – as far as Stevie can figure out, there’s rarely a moment that Jamie’s not with Gary, or talking to Gary, or thinking about Gary.

It's weird. It’s almost like how he used to be about football.

Micah.

Micah can’t believe what he’s seeing. It’s time for Sky’s yearly ‘film Neville and Carragher making fools of themselves racing each other in a thinly-veiled attempt to rack up more views’, and Jamie is losing.

Jamie’s a runner, he runs. Gary does fuck all cardio beyond the occasional group fitness class, he should not be a full pace ahead of Jamie at the halfway point, and yet. Gary can’t seem to believe it either, because when he glances back at Jamie he grins and picks up his pace with a gleeful little laugh.

Jamie rolls his eyes for the sake of the cameras, but there’s a moment where Micah could’ve sworn he saw him skip, like he was deliberately trying to slow himself down. Which is impossible, because Jamie would happily out-sprint a child if someone told him it was a competition.

And yet.

When Gary wins he grabs onto Jamie’s arm to support himself while his whole body shakes with laughter, squawking out insults every time he’s able to catch his breath. Jamie laughs along, makes up some poor excuse about his hamstring going, but when he catches Micah’s eye he winks as if they’re both in on the same joke.

[dans-den]

Oppenheimer Review

Hey what's going on everyone! Dan here and today I'll be reviewing the Oppenheimer movie by Christopher Nolan.

Now this movie is already unique because instead of focusing on WWII or just a movie about a bomb or two, this movie focuses on the man himself, J Robert Oppenheimer. Oppenheimer was the Physicist who created the first nuclear weapon and the man behind the Manhattan Project. I imagine that not too many people know too much about him and only know him for making the two bombs that devastated Hiroshima and Nagasaki and ushered in a new era of weaponry that would shape the decades to come. I know there was another movie from 1989 about the bombs creation although even then they didn't focus too much on Oppenheimer before or after his involvement. When I heard this was a three hour movie, I was skeptical if they could fill in that run time and not drag it out, but after the movie, three hours felt like nothing because there was so much to dive into and it feels like there was so much more they wanted to go into but there wasn't enough runtime.

Let me start off by saying, the cast. was. STACKED! The list of acting powerhouses goes on and on, hell there are actors in this movie that I didn't even know were in this movie till I saw the credits! Where do I even start? Cillian Murphy, Robert Downey Jr, Matt Damon, Rami Malek, Gary Oldman, Josh Peck.....JOSH PECK WAS IN THIS MOVIE?! Each character had an integral role to play in this film and I thought Some of their characters were just there for background because some of them hardly have any lines to speak, but then my expectations were subverted in the second half of the film. Cillian as Oppenheimer was phenomenal and I think brought Oppenheimers character out well like we really saw what it was truly like to meet the real J Robert Oppenheimer. Robert Downey Jr crushed his role as Lewis Strauss, people have said that he can't act beyond his Iron man role but this movie disproves those claims. Again, he's playing someone with charisma but he's playing that charisma with an sinister twist and it works. I'm trying not to give too much away as you can see but so much happens in this 3 hour movie.

I really don't have any major complaints for this movie. I guess my only real complaint is at the first fifteen minutes of the movie when we're introduced to his backstory. People say Nolan always has audio mixing issues in his films and I've never noticed before with the Batman trilogy but I definitely noticed it here. I barely understood what he was saying in the first fifteen minutes but other than that I have no real complaints. I do wish the pacing was a tad slower because everything happens so fast or add more time to the movie but I'm sure they didn't want to make it Godfather long.

You know after watching this film, I think we now have a better understanding of the man himself. I know there are books but it's different when you see someone portray the person and seeing how they would act in real life. I will also say that this man isn't completely good because there are a lot of complex things about him like his narcissism, his methodical thinking, his promiscuous affairs, etc. But that's what I enjoy about biopics, we learn more about the person and how the person was far from perfect. Oppenheimer is no exception, he may have been a genius and gifted but those same traits would turn out to be his undoing as he did create a weapon that can quite literally destroy worlds and he had to live with that. I'm sure his colleagues felt the same way but he was the face and mastermind behind it all so I'm sure he got plenty of mixed feelings from the general public after the war. In the end, he carried the burden of his creation with him for the remainder of his days and all we can do is learn from someone like him how far you're willing to go for results.

Overall, I enjoyed this film, I was drawn into it and enjoyed almost every moment. I even feel I learned a few things which I think is always a plus.

rating this I would give it:

9.5/10

I highly recommend this film for all to see (though there is some nudity so watch out for the kids) and I feel this may be one of the best films of the year if not the best of the year. I know spiderverse fans are ready to come at me. That's all I have to say, now if you'll excuse me, I'm late for the Barbie movie.

See ya!

[letmereadherbertwestfics]

W*A*L*T*E*R rewrite

Gary's was an odd place to choose to work. Who had ever heard of a diner having a pharmacy attached? Not only attached, but nothing separating the two. Take five steps away from the register and bar stools and you'd be in front of a wall of melatonin and cough syrup. To make matters worse, June was expected to run both halves of the place but only get paid for one job. 

It wasn't all bad though. An up side to the place was how quiet it always was. The only customers June had were teenagers looking for a milkshake or older men looking for pain killers and throat lozenges. She served maybe a dozen people a day, except for in the colder months when more people got sick and came in for a coffee, then June might get two dozen customers. The job was so low-stress and simple, she could forget about the small paychecks. At least for now. 

Today was no different from any other. June only had one customer in the store, an older woman who was too busy with the pinball machine to ask for her assistance with anything. She were trying to make yourself look busy by cleaning the counter for the fifteenth time today when someone else walked in, a short young man in a grey suit, who walked straight to the pharmacy counter in the back. 

June's eyes watched the bespectacled man as he walked towards the pharmacy, and stayed on him for a few seconds as he waited for assistance until she remembered that she was supposed to be the assistance. She quickly walked from behind the diner counter and to the pharmacy counter, smiling a customer service smile at the man.

"Good morning. How can I be of assistance?" June asked politely. 

The young man seemed to hesitate, a shy smile stretching across his face before he responded. "Oh, I'm just browsing, thank you." He said in a tone that suggested he was not just browsing. June noticed his hands were toying with a beaver brush, and she smiled as she motioned to it, 

"There's a special on those genuine beaver brushes. Buy one and get another for half off. They're good brushes too." She explained. 

"Well...did you ever see a beaver with unruly hair?" The man joked, his smile widening only for a moment before he cleared his throat and looked down, seemingly regretting making a joke. 

There was a pregnant pause before the man slowly put down the brush and began to turn away. "Well okay I'll see you around-"

"Hold on." June interrupted, making him stop in his tracks. "Didn't you want something from the pharmacy? That's why you came over here, right?"

"Oh well..." The man hesitated before continuing. "I'd like an overdose of sleeping pills. and a bottle of pain killers...sleeping pills give me a headache." 

June raised an eyebrow, leaning against the counter now. "Okay...is there a reason that you need an overdose specifically?" She asked. The man didn't say anything verbally, but the look the man gave her was enough for her to understand perfectly what his attentions were. June stood up straight, lightly tapping the counter with her fist. 

"Oh, that reminds me...the pharmacist is out today. So I can't give out any prescription drugs." She lied, hoping this man didn't come here often enough to know June was the one who handled prescriptions when Mr. Dawson was out of town. And it seemed he didn't, from the way he deflated at this. 

There was another pause as June struggled to think of something to say. She was worried that if she let this man leave now, he would just go find another pharmacy to get what he wanted from. So, in an effort to get him to stay, she decided to ask him where he was from. 

"Your accent," She explained when he gave her an odd look. "You don't sound like you're from Missouri."

"I'm not, you'd be right about that. I'm from Iowa." He said, making June's smile get wider. 

"No kidding! That's where the cook over there is from." June told him, pointing to the diner half of Gary's. Then, June asked him what brought him to St. Louis. And that's how June got an explanation for why this man was looking for what he came in here for. 

"...Well I was on my Honeymoon. She ran out on me." He said, his voice small. He looked ashamed, clearly blaming himself for being left. It made June's heart clench, seeing him be so torn up about being left, and also knowing what he was going to do to himself as a result of it. Now she definitely didn't want him to leave, not until she knew that he wasn't going to put himself in danger at least. 

"I'm sorry to hear that...and I know it hurts, but I strongly suggest you don't go through with your sleeping pill plan." June said, reaching over the counter to put a hand on top of his. It was then that she noticed his left hand, where the fingers were much shorter than the fingers on his right hand. She quickly moved past that though, looking at the man.

His eyes were the size of dinner plates behind his glasses, but he made no move to pull away. Instead he just cleared his throat and continued talking. "Well then...what should I do?" 

"Follow me." June said before walking out from behind the pharmacy counter, and going back to the diner half of Gary's. The man sat on one of the bar stools, watching in fascination as June began to pour chocolate syrup into a glass before walking over to the ice cream machine. 

A few more seconds and the man had a milkshake in front of him, thanking June as she dropped a cherry onto the pile of whipped cream. 

"This is what I do when I need something to get me through the day." June explained as he took a sip, struggling with the straw at first before ditching it and drinking straight from the glass. When he pulled the glass away from his lips there was a dollop of whipped cream on his nose, making June smile. 

"It's great, thank you." He said, his hands fidgeting as he looked down at the counter instead of at June. "You didn't have to do this for me, but I thank you kindly." He said, his Midwest accent peeking through the more he talked. 

"I didn't, but I did. And I will, if you ever want to stop by here again." She offered, handing the man a napkin to wipe away the whipped cream that was still on his nose. 

The man's smile got bigger as he took the napkin, and right then June realized she and him were closer in age than she first thought they were. His suit and hairline made him look older, but really he couldn't be older than twenty-five. 

"I'll be sure to come by again soon. I don't think I'll be leaving St. Louis as soon as I thought." He admitted. 

"Then I'll look forward to seeing you again. Can I get your name?"

"Oh well I'm Ra- Walter. My name is Walter." He said, momentarily slipping over his words but quickly correcting himself. "And you are?" He asked, his smile becoming shy again. 

"June Sullivan." June said, holding out her hand for Walter to shake. 

[1-lightofjustice]

Heyyoo! Saw that you answered an ask regarding of Ground Zero, and I am very impressed of how you explained each chapters 👀

With curiosity, I want to know if you have any hcs regarding of backstories of some certain Kings, mainly Habari and Kagutsu?

Heya! Glad you enjoyed my incohorent ramble haha

Headcanon time? *rubs hands* You asked for it Anon.

I hc Habari to be a social butterfly in any stage of his life. He’s a cutest baby, charming toddler, playful kid, attractive teen, charismatic King. Like Munakata, I can imagine him having a normal family, was genius and over archiever too, but he doesn’t have Munakata’s awkwardness at human interaction. He was totally being animal and kids’ magnet, while Munakata’s aura draws them away (poor my King 😭). I know that makes Habari looks like a Gary Stu, but to be fair his narrative foil is literal human nuclear. Also, he was an only child, judging by his interaction with Shiotsu and Minato twins, I can’t see him having a sibling before. Zenjou was kinda.. his pet? Like serious their backstory is him finding Zenjou in a mountain and like “You’re mine now” and Zenjou dutifully followed him. He also has Blue King’s classic cryptic tendencies, but weirdly only Shiotsu and some people outside Blue clan that got annoyed with him, while others like Zenjou and Minato couple are happily don’t know and don’t care what he was talking about. He would adore Kusuhara and Kusuhara would ADORE him.

Blue clan in general have sparkly hair disease but Habari washed his fabulous locks 4 times a day with Scepter 4 special blend of shampoo. Minato twins skipped this ritual and always refused to bathe, that’s why their hairs are suck.  Remember Habari’s crop top uniform? Shiotsu persuaded him to change it, with painstaking effort. And we all should be grateful for him, because that outfit is honestly horrible. Well, at least for me. Habari loves minimalistic clothes and would hate cloak, that’s for sure.

I don’t think Habari’s sword’s name is ever mentioned (cmiiw) but Chainsaw Squad is a RAD name so Habari is also gifted with Blue King’s great sense at naming.  

For Kagutsu, as I said before, it's hard for me to even see him as a person, so I can't quite imagine him as toddler, kid, or any other stage of human life except "adult and ready to erupt". But looking at how Purgatory activity and members so far weirdly attentive to women problem for a criminal organization, like freeing human trafficking women, speaking about Akio’s death highly, even one of Purgatory clansmen willingly marry a pregnant woman to help her, I kinda hc Kagutsu to have a woman he loved in the past. In this I am talking about love in broad sense, either romantic or platonic, so like mother, sister, girlfriend or else.

This segment in particular intrigued me :

Kagutsu that day was in a good mood. He took two women with him when he returned from outside, but of course, that was not the reason he was in a good mood. It always happens that Kagutsu likes women. There are a certain number of women who like dangerous men, but if it is too dangerous, some survival instinct will cause a mistake. They are happily hugged by Kagutsu and turn into corpses of joy.

LIMITED KINGSHIP, WAR STORIES: CHAPTER 5: DRUNK WITH THE KING

Yeah technically he murdered those women, but the segment clearly shows that they CONSENTED to embrace Kagutsu, Dunno if those women know that they will die in the process, but hey, Icarus amirite? It’s in their desire to like dangerous man. Also, probably just language disparities, but “hugged” is quite a weirdly innocent word to portray the last collision between a man and women? 

This is so interesting for me because, actually, the writer didn’t have to do that. Kagutsu was portrayed and designed to be Pure Evil Villain who is better died, so not very jarring if they wrote Kagutsu to forcefully drag women and kill them for his own amusement. Heck, they wrote a poor clansman was purely in terror on Kagutsu’s presence in the same chapter! Yet Gora put emphasis that those women were HAPPY on the short moments they spent with Kagutsu. So, at the very least, Kagutsu is not a rapist. Also he was totally down to raid gangs that trafficked women. This trivia pushes my headcanon button but also frustrate me because so far we never get a proper interaction between any characters with Kagutsu without the said character noting how inhuman he is and how they completely don’t understand him. Like if no one inside the story can understand him, how can I? My hands are tied here 😰

[popes-jj]

Paradise on Earth - Pogues x Routledge!OC PART 1

Summary: this story follows Cassie Routledge, John B’s twin sister through the events of OBX seasons 1+2.

Parings: rafe x Routledge!oc + Routledge!oc x the pogues + some JJ x Routledge!oc + everyone else.

[specifically rafe x Routledge!oc] 

Disclaimer: kind of fanon rafe in some future parts, this is not condoning this type of relationship or Rafes behaviour, this is not me saying anything, it is just a story. Also in this, I have changed Rafe to be 18 and OC & the pogues are 17 in s1 not 16 :)

Warnings: mentions of drugs/drug use, mentions of death, violence, mention of violence, sexual innuendos, mentions of sex (not detailed), toxic relationships, unhealthy relationships, sad content, psychotic behaviour/tendencies, bad mental health, abuse, sexual language, swearing. (I think that is all)

This is my own work but I do not own OBX or their storyline or characters!!!

MASTERLIST

The Outer Banks. Paradise on Earth.. or so they say. For people like Cassie Routledge, it was just home. Well, the cut was at least, born and raised where she lived with her brother and father, that was until her father went missing 9 months ago. Lost at sea..

It had been hard for Cassie and John B since their fathers disappearance, they lived alone in their 'Chateau'. They tried their best to cope with the bills that just seemed to very stop, and their friends constant need to party and drink, not that the two didn't partake, they did of course. Cassie's day to day was mostly parties and constant noise from their friend group.

They all proudly call themselves Pogues, all of them being born and raised in The Cut, almost all anyway, Kiara was the only exception to that, have being a Kook initially, but they welcomed her in the Pogue life.

__________________

"That's what, a three-story fall to the deck?" Cassie opened her eyes to Popes voice breaking the groups comfortable silence. "I give you about a one-in-three chance of survival." Cassie rolled her eyes, looking up at her brother that was balancing on top of the buildings roof. Idiot.

"Hm.." John B licked his finger, pointing it to the air. Everyone's attention now on the boy above. "Should I do it?" He asked, a smile on his face.

"Yeah you should jump. I'll shoot you on the way down." Pope laughed, holding a drill tool up towards the Routledge boy.

"Yeah, let's see if you can break both legs at once." Cassie spoke up, standing up from her position on the floor. Hand over her eyes so she could get a proper look at her brother. This wasn't uncommon for the group, to be sat around a construction site on a random evening, summer had just started and they had already found themselves to be bored.

"You'll shoot me?" John B spoke, amused by the boy below.

"Yep."

The two made shooting noises to each other, JJ and Cassie locked eyes, and laughed slightly to each other, amused at the two boys being stupid.

Kiara stormed out of the unfinished building, clearly annoyed. "They're gonna have Japanese toilets with towel warmers.."

"Of course!" JJ spoke up, "Why wouldn't they?"

"This used to be a turtle habitat but who cares about the turtles, I guess.." Kiara said, looking around.

"I can't have cold towels!" JJ joked.

Kiara looked up at John B, as he stood upon the roof still. "Can you not kill yourself please?" She asked.

"No!" Cassie whined, jokingly. "If he falls, I get a bigger room. John B, as you were." She smiled at her brother who faked being hurt, putting on a fake frown at her.

"Wow, feelings are hurt, Cassandra."

"Oh, shut up." She rolled her eyes at the use of her full name, she walked over and climbed up and perched herself to be sat next to JJ on some scaffolding, snatching the beer from his hands and taking a sip.

"Don't spill that beer, I'm not giving you another one!" JJ shouted up.

John B lifted his leg up, trying to balance on the edge of the roof, his beer falling from his hand and slamming against the deck. "Good job!" Cassie put her thumbs up to her brother who just laughed.

"Of course you did! Right when I asked you not to." JJ laughed as John B groaned about his fallen beer.

"A plus!" Pope clapped.

"HEY!" A deep male voice shouted.

"Hey, uh, security's here." Pope said calming, leaning over the wooden railing. "Let's wrap it up."

"Humpty Dumpty, let's roll." JJ called to John B.

JJ hopped down off the scaffolding and held his arms out of Cassie. "M'lady" Cassie took the help down and ran off into the house with her friends, all laughing as they did so.

The guards chased the group through the house, trying to catch them, almost catching JJ as he slid over the floor. The five of them hopped the fence and made it to their van, 'The Twinkie', John B in front seat, Cassie hopped in next to him in the passenger seat. Kiara made it to the back and left the van door open for JJ and Pope to hop in as they had small trouble getting over the fence.

They all laughed as they continued down the road, van door wide open as JJ jokingly called after the guard that was chasing them down on foot. "C'mon Gary!" JJ taunted.

"You're gonna give him a heart attack!" Kiara laughed.

"I don't know, Kie, I think he looks thirsty!" Cassie called out from the front.

"I think you are right, Cass. Hey, Gary! Want a beer?" JJ threw a beer at the running security guard, "They don't pay you enough, bro!"

"JJ, stop! Stop." Kiara sternly told the blonde boy.

"Oh, C'mon. That sort of the initiative is begging to be punished." JJ laughed, looking back at the guard. They closed the van door and continued on their drive, laughing whilst doing so.

"Okay, so, party tonight?" JJ spoke up as he rolled a blunt, resting his head against the back of the drivers seat.

"Is that even a question at this point?" Cassie asked, holding her hand out to the blonde boy. He placed the blunt in her hand along with his lighter. She studied the lighter for a second, rubbing her thumb over the words 'JJ' that was carved into the silver lighter.

"No.. well- I don't know. Sometimes Pope isn't fun Pope and has to 'study'" JJ made quote signs in the air with his hands awkwardly, watching as the Routledge girl placed the blunt between her lips and lit it. "Pope?" He asked, turning away to look at the boy.

"It's summer, J." Pope looked around confused, unsure if the boy was making a bad joke.

"Great! Lovely to hear!" JJ clapped his hands together and turned back to Cassie. "Cassie, if I may?" Cassie handed him back the blunt reluctantly, getting a small glare from John B.

parts 1-3 up on my wattpadd now :)

[echo-three-one]

Run run run....

Table of Contents

Previous Chapter : Going Dark - Part 1

Chapter 23 to another story made by Ray (echo-three-one) Comments and Reviews appreciated! I hope you enjoy! Love you all ❤️

Going Dark - Part 2

John "Soap" MacTavish

London, United Kingdom

Soap never knew that the bloody guy would pull that trick off his sleeve. He's been sick of the same ringing he first experienced when they went out with Francine.

So he did what he could and quickly got up to his feet as soon as he saw Alex attempt to halt the hostage on his tracks. That bastard's going to pay for stomping on Alex like that.

With comms down once again, he had to act fast, stomping down the stairs, never leaving sight of the runner. He could sense someone following him and assumed it's any of Roach, Price or Jack. And it looked like Ghost caught wind of what happened too.

"Oi! Let's flank him!" Soap roared across the empty streets as Ghost and Roach split ways and ran toward their target.

They're not kidding when they said the Shadow Company is at par with the 141, the guy ran like a horse which Soap never expected from his build. He could see Ghost and Roach sprinting from his sides, one wrong turn and he's done for, but he still had one last trick. 

He raced to the emergency stairs as his heavy feet clanged against the metal. Soap followed, optimizing the steps on edges to gain on him. Going up the rooftops was his biggest mistake.

"Bollocks, he's still running!" he announced as he felt his ears crackling. 

"Well…. st….by…. do….airs.." His earpiece crackled through the static. It's recovering but they're already far off MacMillan's truck where their line connected.

He leaped. Soap almost stopped in his tracks as the runner courageously leapt across the huge gap and rolled on to the next building. He braced himself and continued dashing across the roof and did a mighty leap, his arms circled like he was swimming and he carefully placed his feet to perform a proper land and rolled.

That's going to hurt as soon as the adrenaline fades, but he quickly got up and made use of his remaining burst of energy. 

The runner stopped in his tracks as soon as Roach emerged from the opposite fire escape, raising a pistol pointed straight at him as he raised his hand in surrender.

"Nowhere to run now." Roach said, cautiously walking near him. He's aware that his phone is still inside his pocket and that they had no idea when it'll go off again.

He didn't talk, but he looked panicked. He was sweating all over and his face was beyond recognizable. It looked like he's out of options.

"Tell us Where Shepherd is…" Gary pointed the loaded gun on his head, the desperation in Gary's eyes were obvious.

"There's an abandoned plane graveyard near Afghanistan…" he whimpered. His voice was shaky enough to warrant the truth.

"What's he doing there?" Soap added.

"He's trading the blueprints for the I.P. Address… Please that's all I know" he begged and they quickly left the place, walking back to MacMillan's car.

"You got something?" Ghost asked as soon as Roach's feet landed on the dark alley.

"A place. In Afghanistan." Roach answered.

"And he also had the I.P. Address.." Soap added.

"But that's impossible… didn't Samantha already forget about it?" Ghost asked but there was a quiet pause. Their brains almost looked like working together.

"Holy Crap." Roach finally broke the silence.

And from that moment they realized the other reason behind Samantha's memory returning. One way or another, her memories were once again toyed with.

~

"So how was it?" Price asked the team that ran off to chase the runner.

"We got an address. An abandoned plane yard in Afghanistan." Roach replied. Soap turned to Alex as he sat at the back of the jeep tending to his wound. 

"You okay mate?" he asked walking close to his ally, who was wincing in pain.

"The guy's boots are heavy." He chuckled and so did Soap.

"Listen, Alex. We heard that Shepherd has the I P. address, did Samantha tell you anything about remembering it?" Soap asked as the whole team fell silent and turned to the two.

"Not really. What's bothered me is that she remembers everything except after when Shepherd explained his plans to her… Could it be that…" Alex trailed.

"She remembered because they undid their operation on her…" Jack continued. The whole group stood in silence. 

Price's phone rang and delivered them with more bad news. It looked like while chasing the runner, Shepherd had caught wind of their activity and had some of London police scour the nearby streets for them.

"Da, It's time to go, my comrades." Nikolai announced as soon as Price relayed the message. Their ride home was compromised.

"Where to?" He asked.

"I know a place." Soap said.

TRAIN STATION

It looked like Soap's hunch was right. None of the people onboard to Scotland mind about the faces of the fugitives flashed on the news recently. 

Their day packs had reserved clothes and they opted to change to something more civilian. Soap could smell the fabric conditioner France used to wash his newly bought clothes and couldn't help but miss her. If they weren't on a rush, Soap could've topped up for international calls.

"How long is this trip? 7 hours?" Price asked a civilian with surprised expressions.

"Wow. It's like a plane ride, but I'm still in the same country!" Jack cackled at the idea. He does have a different sense of humor. Just as Alex described him.

The rest of the team took this time to rest, they sat on the emptiest part of the train, away from the people that might recognize them and report their presence.

"I've contacted Samantha. It looks like they're having a small problem over there." Alex said.

"Someone saw one of us fugitives and tried to get inside the house to claim his bounty. At first they just talked him off but he's persistent now. So they decided to fly to our location and regroup there. And Soap, where exactly are we going?" Alex asked. Soap took a careful look around his team and felt nervous about his decision.

"Our old house. In Scotland. It's far off civilization. I think no one would look for us there." he muttered, gaining a nod from Price and Jack. Soap sighed in relief as soon as they thought of it as a good idea. Roach actually felt excited despite having to go there by train for seven hours. He immediately made that decision a few minutes ago without anyone's approval, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

"Hey, you three… Thanks for chasing that runner while we were out. Go catch some sleep. We'll watch over this train. It's going to be a long trip." Price nudged and Jack nodded. Soap gave a pair of earbuds to Price, the old man immediately looked at him with question.

"What's this? A hearing aid?" Price asked.

"Our runner wore that so it might be the reason he wasn't affected by his own blast." He muttered before crossing his arms.

"Thanks, mate. I'll let someone have a look at this." Price nodded and Jack immediately inserted with a suggestion.

"I know someone near Glasgow. A close friend of mine." 

"That's great. He's closer." Price agreed and Soap slowly drifted himself asleep, trying to rest his tired legs all while also trying not to worry about Francine.

GLASGOW, SCOTLAND

The never shifting scenery of the road home sent John MacTavish into a little nostalgia trip. The sound of trains screeching across the station reminded him of so many things from the past.  The road they're walking along now was the same road he's walked on everyday of his life, and now after a lot of years, he can't believe he's back.

"I don't see anything nearby,  are you sure we're not lost Soap?" Roach asked.

"We aren't. The house is just obstructed by the trees. They've grown taller since I last left." he replied enthusiastically. He looked obviously excited to see his home.

As soon as they reached the short curve, a huge cream-painted house greeted them from the distance. He could hear Alex and Roach's collective oohs and aahs every step they took closer.

"When you said old, I was really expecting it to be abandoned." Roach mused.

"It is, actually. My parents are off… somewhere else." he replied leading the way inside the house. The pool was already dirty and most weeds already outgrew the fences.

Soap pushed the huge wooden double door open and was greeted by the same visage of their entrance way back when he was a kid. Same pictures hung on the walls of his adventures as a kid up to the recent photo of his graduation. His mom was always proud of him no matter what, but he couldn't forget the way she looked at him once he chose to enlist to the riskiest job ever.

The rest of the team helped themselves to discovering the inside of the house, looking at photos, sitting on the couches and grabbing a glass of water. Soap quickly gave them a tour of the house and that they're free to pick a guest room of their choice. It was appropriate that they'd feel comfortable after a tough day.

"Nice place you got here, comrade. Why'd you give this all up for a life that's always hanging on the ledge?" Nikolai asked, tapping his shoulder. 

"I don't even know." he muttered and Nikolai chuckled, making his way to the living room. The team was quick to adapt to the place. Roach and Ghost already chose their rooms and he assumed they already attempted to recover while the three older men gathered around the television and watched the news. Alex was by the telephone, probably contacting Samantha. He wanted to check on France himself, so he planned to go to his room and make a call.

"The New York attack stopped." Price discussed with Nikolai and Jack, the three began speculating about a lot of things. Soap would love to join in the conversation but he decided to update on Francine first.

His room looked the same as when he left, the same shade of blue wallpaper, the same color sheets that were changed weekly and the same things on top of his bedside drawer.

Dialing her number, which he subconsciously memorized, he immediately placed the receiver on his ear and anxiously waited for her to pick up the phone.

"Hello?" her voice sounded different over the phone, but it still sent shivers across his spine as soon as he heard it.

"Hey. It's me." he replied.

"Angelo?" she asked, her voice almost sounded like she's fighting herself not to laugh.

"It's John." 

"I know, silly. Who would mistake you for anyone else with that accent." she retorted.

"Do ya like it?" he teased, making sure he emphasized his Scottish accent well.

"Why'd you call?" She changed the topic. She wasn't budging on his teasing, but he knew she's already blushing on the other side of the line.

"Did Price give you the landing coordinates?" he asked.

"Yeah. Maxine looked it up on the map. It looks like a shady house in the middle of nowhere. Who are you?" she joked.

"Great. I'll see you here. I-" he hesitated. He wanted to tell her how much he misses her. But even with his oozing confidence, he felt like chickening out this time.

"Yeah. We're on our way. Take care out there John." She said and dropped the call. Soap sighed and plopped himself on his bed, deeply sighing at his actions. This girl was making him crazy… and the funny thing is he's all fine with it.

Next Chapter : Going Dark - Part 3

Notification Squad my Beloved

@smokeywhalee @samatedeansbroccoli @enderio @beemybee @whimsywispsblog @ricinbach

[natromanxoff]

Queen live at Royal Dublin Society Simmonscourt in Dublin, Ireland - November 22, 1979 (Part-1)

(x)

Tonight is the opening night of the "Crazy Tour," the tour when Queen decided to go back and play the smaller, more intimate venues (especially the London ones). The lighting rig had to be scaled down to accommodate most of the venues. There used to be five rows of red and green lights and four rows of white, but the red and green have been cut back to four as well. Along with the change in the band's attire (particularly Freddie's pants with knee-pads) and Roger's bass drum head sporting a picture of himself, all these factors make pictures from this tour easy to distinguish from those taken earlier in the year.

Queen's old front of house sound technician returned to the job after a long illness (the Jazz album is dedicated to him for this reason).

The show now begins with an intense drone leading into the thunder and lightning. Combined with their lighting rig (even the scaled down version), this would be a very effective opening of their show. It has been said that people were often left breathless before the band even played a note.

Being their first gig in the UK since releasing Live Killers, the band decide to shake things up a bit by opening the show with Let Me Entertain You, followed by the fast We Will Rock You. The setlist is otherwise mostly similar to the live album and previous tour, with a couple new songs added to the repertoire (Mustapha made its first appearance in Saarbrucken in the summer).

Tonight would see the first performances of Save Me and Crazy Little Thing Called Love, which had been recently recorded. The latter has been released as a single and would fare quite well on the charts, becoming their first American #1. Save Me would be released as a single early next year, peaking at #11 in the UK. On stage, Brian May plays the piano on the ballad. Through 1981, he'd play the first two verses on piano and switch to guitar at the second chorus. The instrumentation would change slightly in 1982 with the addition of an auxiliary keyboardist. In the meantime, these 1979 versions would have the band finishing the song at the end of the last chorus, omitting the piano outro.

As for Crazy Little Thing Called Love, Brian would start on acoustic guitar, switch to a black Telecaster for the guitar solo, and to his beloved Red Special for the finale of the song. Unlike the 1950s-flavoured studio version, it would become a heavy rock song by the final verse. By 1982, the end of the song would often be a relatively long jam. Freddie would play a 12-string Ovation Pacemaker acoustic guitar for the song through 1982, and would switch to a cream-coloured Telecaster from 1984 to 1986. Throughout the years, he would often joke about how he knew how to play only a few chords on the guitar.

On stage, the band end Crazy Little Thing Called Love with a coda similar to the one in You're My Best Friend.

This is Queen's first of four shows they would play in Ireland, and so they perform a one-off version of Danny Boy in the encore. As told by someone who attended the show, almost no one in the audience knew the words of the second verse, while Freddie had done his homework.

During Now I'm Here, a fan manages to make his way on stage for a brief moment, and Freddie sings, "Now He's Here." An audience recording of the song was reportedly broadcast on the radio not long after the show, but no known copy has survived.

At the end of the show, instead of playing their version of Britain's national anthem as always, in Ireland the band use the outro from the A Day At The Races album - the only location where they would make a political gesture like this.

Here is a review of this show from the Dublin Evening Press, submitted by Rob Schoorl.

Photos 1-3 were taken by Eddie Mallin.

Fan Stories

“I couldn't believe it! Summer 1979 and I was reading a review of a gig in one of Dublin's evening newspapers. At the end of the review, added almost as an afterthought, was news that the promoter, Pat Egan, was planning to bring Queen to Dublin! I read and re-read it but still could not believe it. Queen, at last, would make their debut in front of an Irish audience! The Crazy Tour would begin in Dublin. Fast forward to the autumn and myself and a number of friends from school eagerly queued up to buy tickets to see our heroes. After buying the tickets, it was a long countdown to the show which would take place on Thursday November 22nd 1979. I still clearly remember the date even after all the years. Eventually the day arrived. That night Queen were on Top of the Pops with Crazy Little Thing Called Love but I didn't mind missing it. We were going to the real thing! After a long day in school we made our way to the RDS in Dublin. After a wait outside the gates we were allowed in to the venue and found a standing place near the front of the stage. I recall it got ever more crowded at the front of the stage and before the show, the tour manager (was it Gerry Stickells?) had to go on stage and appeal to people near the stage to relax and step back. Eventually the lights dimmed, there was a tremendous roar from the crowd, the Pizza Oven exploded into light and there were our heroes only yards away from us. I recall at the time being so overwhelmed by the amazing lights and the fact that we could almost touch Freddie, dressed all in black leather and sunglasses, that I barely registered that Let Me Entertain You was the opener. After that, it was into We Will Rock You and, largely the same songs and running order as the Live Killers album which I knew very well (!!) at that time and had almost worn out playing over the previous months. There were however some exceptions. Of most interest to Queen fans now and the biggest shock to me then was that Danny Boy was played live - a great version, from what I recall which received a terrific ovation from the audience. Also, If You Can't Beat Them was played which surprised me as it wasn't included on Live Killers and I wasn't even aware at that time that it was ever played live. The Dublin show was the first time that Save Me and Crazy Little Thing were played live. I remember being astounded at the power and range of Freddie's voice - even better than Live Killers. At that stage he was developing as a singer and over the next few years became recognised as one of the best rock singers and best frontmen in the business. (Am I the only one who was slightly disappointed with the quality and range of his voice during the final Magic Tour especially when compared to earlier tours?). The gig was a terrific show, especially to a young person attending his first major rock gig, and many of the songs are still memorable to me. During Now I'm Here one idiot actually got up on stage and Freddie sang "Now *he's* here" before he was removed from the stage. One girl also managed to get up on stage and plant a kiss on Freddie during the show. The following night, a couple of songs recorded during the show by someone in the audience were played on the Radio Dublin pirate radio station. These included Now I'm Here. A bootleg of the gig definitely exists *somewhere* but, try as I might, I cannot track it down. I would be grateful if anyone reading this comes across it or has it in their collection, that they get in touch with me!” - John Brogan

“The first night of the Crazy tour - amazing show. Seen some people on the web note that they played Danny Boy that night but for some reason I can only remember Brian playing it as part of his solo and us singing our heads off. Freddie handing out a champagne glass to a friend of mine who still has it. Anyway it was nearly 30 years ago and I find it hard to remember what I did last week never mind that long ago. They ended the show with the outro from A Day At The Races which took me a while to figure out what it actually was. The lighting rig was totally amazing - the pizza oven was aptly named - it was scorching and the intensity of the light when it turned around behind the band to face the audience was something else made a couple of friends that night (in the horse show bar opposite the venue) that I am still in contact with and we are all still crazy after all these years.” - Gary aka hoops

“A couple of notes on the Queen show in Dublin, 1979. Fred was in red trousers, not black as John Brogan has mentioned above. Small point but there you go. And when it came time for the audience to sing along to Danny Boy, almost no one knew the words of the second verse - I remember one chap shouting out to Freddie that he was doing a grand job all by himself. I saw them sixteen times in all and that show, the first, has a very special place in my memory. On the subject of bootlegs from that show, a chap in Aungier Street in Dublin used to have just about every show ever played in Dublin by anyone worth taping. I got a really bad and incomplete (C60) copy of the Queen show from him just as a record of having been there - his voice could be heard just before the start of the show, discussing bootlegging. The tape is somewhere in a box in my house and should I come across it, I'll let you know.” - Paul

Part-2

[the-breath-in-air]

Fixing "Boy Erased" (2018)

I recently decided to watch Boy Erased (2018) again, now that we're a couple years out from its initial release (and hype). And I came away with some thoughts.

First, something I think worked. You know that scene near the end, when Jared (Lucas Hedges) is trying to leave the conversion camp and he's racing through corridors and whatnot. That whole sequence works, but there's one moment that really stands out.

Jared attempts to get his phone and Michael (one of the 'camp counselors') tries to physically wrestle it away from him. There's a bit of a fight but eventually Jared makes his way to the bathroom and he calls his mom to come take him away. He then emerges from the bathroom and says to Victor Sykes (who runs the camp), "If you, or anyone else puts their hands on me, I have witnesses." Victor puts up his hands and says, "Nobody's gonna put their hands on you. Why would anybody do that? Come and sit. We're gonna wait for your mom, okay?" Then there's a hard cut to this:

Victor Sykes and Brandon literally laying their hands on Jared and praying. And I love that juxtaposition because it brings to light the violence inherent in this situation. They're restraining him through enforced religious acts. There's violence in this prayer.

And on top of that, it serves as a pretty good metaphor for the whole film. Jared's parents (especially his mother) believe they're helping but really they're hurting. They can't see the violence of their actions in sending him to the camp.

If only the rest of the film was working on this level.

Problem the first: Audience as observer. The film is really about observing its subject, Jared, as he experiences these events. But it isn't about giving us any insight into his perspective or interiority as he does so. The camera is looking at Jared more often that it is revealing to us what he's seeing. Perhaps the most obvious example of this issue is with the perfume ad scene. Jared is on a run and he comes across a perfume ad on the side of a bus stop with a bare chested buff guy. The camera shows us the ad, and then the rest of the scene has the camera (and thus, the audience) placed some distance away as we see Jared first touch the ad, then throw a rock at the ad, and then scream "fuck you" at it repeatedly. The ad itself isn't salacious enough to illicit that kind of response in the average audience-goer, and the camera is so disconnected from Jared's experience that we aren't really gaining insight into why this ad is affecting him in such a strong way. It ends up making it so that scene really does not work.

This isn't to critique Lucas Hedges's performance in that scene. It's more to say that all the other elements of that scene make it feel ridiculous - because the audience has not been guided toward viewing that ad in the same way that Jared does in that moment.

The second problem: Casting. To be absolutely clear, this is not a knock against any of the actors performances. On the contrary, I think everyone was pretty dang exceptional. Rather, it's more a conversation about casting choices. Two of those choices really stand out as somewhat misguided: Xavier Dolan as Jon and Emily Hinkler as Lee.

Turns out Emily Hinkler is a nonbinary actress. Lee (the character) is a cis guy who is conspicuously unmasculine. (If you've seen the movie - he's the one who gets hit in the head with a baseball). Casting a nonbinary actress as a cis boy at a conversion camp feels a bit off on it's own in that a conversion camp would be forcing people to adhere to assigned genders at birth. But I could get behind it as a sort of statement, like, a casting decision as direct opposition to the enforced gender binary of a conversion camp. i.e. Why should the movie adhere to the oppressive gender binary that the camp would? However, by casting a nonbinary actress as the least conventionally masculine character - it actually feels like it ends up reinforcing the binary. Lee's defining trait is that he's small and unmanly and, afaik, he's the only one of the male characters who is not portrayed by a cis man.

My issue with Xavier Dolan's casting is much simpler: Jon feels like he was written as a teenager and Xavier Dolan was approaching 30 when this was filmed. Maybe it wouldn't have bugged me so much if I didn't already know who Xavier Dolan was when watching the movie? Like, maybe if you watch it without knowing the actor's age, it works better? But also, the character feels like a teen but isn't explicitly stated to be a teen. So whenever he was on screen I kept wondering if actually part of Jon's situation is meant to be that he is 30 but stuck in a sort-of adolescence due to his relationship with his abusive father. Or did they just cast Xavier Dolan to portray a teenager?

This brings me to the third problem: Not enough of the ensemble. Jared, and thus the audience, spends proportionally, little screen time with the other people at the camp. They are rarely shown talking to each other - especially outside the restrictive observation of the camp's 'counselors.' This could be part of the point - i.e. that the camp is so isolating - but that isolation wasn't really highlighted by the camera/scenes/dialogue...so it really feels more like it's just an oversight. The movie focuses on Jared and his individual story and so the rest just fell by the wayside.

This is really unfortunate because there are some (potentially) great characters in there, especially Jon and Gary. Jon went through the program once before and is now back for a second time. We don't know what happened to make him come back. He appears to be 30-ish but he's staying at a hotel with his abusive father. He is completely invested in the program and treats his sexuality like an addiction. He has even taken it upon himself to forego all physical contact with other men (not even a handshake). His self-loathing is at once horrifying and heartbreaking.

In contrast, Gary (Troye Sivan) knows the entire program is bullshit, but he's playing along for his own survival. He's over 18; he lived with his boyfriend for a year prior to coming to the camp. So that begs the question of how his family convinced him to enter to the program. Also, Gary's so invested in his own survival, that he stays silent and is complacent in the abuse and violence he witnesses against others in the camp. He is both a victim and a bystander (at times).

I think this film would've really benefited from spending more time with these characters (as well as Sarah, portrayed by Jesse LaTourette, and Cameron, portrayed by Britton Sear) in the camp and seeing how they all interacted with each other. Give us a sense of their different contexts and perspectives - and give us a better sense of the ways that conversion camps disempower the people sent there (even people like Gary, who knows it's bullshit). It's the thing that makes all the other movies about conversion camps work so well.

Which brings us to the fourth problem: the ending. If we spend more time with the ensemble, we'd either end up with a really long movie or we'd have to cut out something else. Well, folks, we can cut about 10 minutes off the end. Everything after the dinner Jared has with his mother post-escape can go. The climax of the film is when Jared finally decides to leave the camp. The resolution comes when his mother places herself in opposition to Jared's father (which she had never done before) and decides that she's going to take Jared home. And the emotional resolution comes when she admits to Jared that they made a mistake and that they harmed him by sending him to the camp.

Everything after that is extraneous. We don't really need to see Jared living in a city with a boyfriend, or see him begin to reconcile with his father. His relationship with his father was never the emotional core for the film. Boy Erased is, in some ways, a movie about self-actualization and that's the sort of movie that's best to end with something a bit open-ended. Y'know...a sort of end-that's-just-the-beginning kind of thing. Because the story of Jared falling in love and dating and moving out and gaining the self-confidence to confront his father - well that's a whole other movie. And here it gets shoved into the epilogue, which does the whole thing a real disservice.

Then there are the informational cards at the end. Two stick out as being particularly frustrating. One, "The real Victor Sykes left L.I.A. in 2008. He now lives in Texas, with his husband," feels irrelevant and unnecessary. The audience cares about what happened to Gerrard Conley (who wrote the story and whom Jared is based off of). But why do we care about what happened to the real guy who ran the camp? We don't...except for the jab about him now being married to a man - which feels like it's a more significant point for the cis straight people in the audience than for anyone queer. Turns-out-ex-gay-pastor-was-actually-just-gay-the-whole-time is not revelatory, I gotta say.

Then there's also this:

The emphasis about conversion therapy "practiced on minors," feels a bit disconnected from the film we just watched - which emphasized how abusive and traumatizing it is, even for adults. And in the U.S., all states currently legally allow conversion therapy for anyone 18+. Only Washington D.C. has banned it. And that, to me, is equally egregious, yet it isn't mentioned. The film itself challenges the notion that it's somehow okay for this to be practiced on adults because it's ostensibly their "choice," and then the info cards at the end shy away from that stance by focusing on kids.

I think the thing I find most frustrating about this movie, is the wasted potential. As I said at the beginning of this, there are some moments that really stand out in how they use the medium to convey meaning. There are some choices in how the film uses light and brightness (or lack thereof), that are pretty dang good, too. But ultimately, it's a film I feel so detached from and I think some of what I explained above is part of why.

[codename-mango]

Clarice's Story - Season 2

I recently finished Clarice's canon route in Season 2, and I'm currently replaying Season 3 to give myself a refresher on Seb and nail down the details of Clarice's story in that Season. So this will have a Part 2, but I want to write out the decisions made that ultimately led to The Least Satisfying Ending of Season 2™, and the reasons behind them that are informed by her past and personality. I know I care more about this than literally anyone, but I'm doing it anyway. So let's get started!

Before the Villa

Raised by Ursula, a famous actress with Antisocial Personality Disorder. She was very loving to Clarice, but wanted her to grow a hard shell like she did.

Ursula gets a participation trophy in parenting for trying her best, but alas, Clarice has severe anxiety that she can't properly express.

Didn't have any friends before going on the show.

Clarice applied for the show with the hope of finding someone nice, though she had very low expectations. She expected all the girls (and fans) to hate her because she went in planning to be ruthless. She was very aware that her mother will be watching, and wanted to make her proud.

Day 1

Friendly to Hope right off the bat - No reason not to be, right?

"I need to look after Number 1." - Clarice isn't underhanded. She tries to be as honest as possible, and this is no exception. The girls need to know where she stands.

"I'm more the quiet and mysterious type." - Outside the Villa, Clarice is much more reserved due to her upbringing.

Picked Noah - He's handsome and doesn't try some cheesy line right off the bat.

Objected to Hope picking him immediately - First day and she's already been screwed over. Her pride is hurt, and she's not going to take this lying down.

Thought Bobby was nice, but there was blatantly no sparks there. He didn't even step forward. She gave him no illusions that she's interested, and flirted with Noah and the other boys at every opportunity. Prioritized grafting over making friends.

However, she welcomed Priya and condemned Lottie for being unnecessarily nasty.

Clarice didn't make any outright enemies except Hope for stealing Noah.

Participated in Lottie's celebration of the Moon - Strategically important to be civil with the girls of course

Day 2

Stayed friendly with Priya, and tried to be with Lottie

Confronted Priya for stealing Bobby - Yeah, she didn't like Bobby herself, but this was the second time she'd had her partner stolen. She was angry and embarrassed.

Day 3

Helped Hannah during breakfast and encouraged her to toughen up - This isn't Friend Island.

Told Rocco to pick her - It wasn't enough to steal Bobby back. She didn't even like him. But there was no chance of getting Noah back from Hope. Rocco was her real second choice on Day 1, and taking him helps her save face.

Told Hannah that Gary won't choose her - She thinks Hannah is totally naive, but has been friendly thus far and respected her couple.

Day 4

"If there's no spark, you've got problems."

Insisted Gary apologizes to Marisol

Grinded on Noah during the Slime Challenge - She's not sure if she's actually interested in him yet, or if she's just trying to piss off Hope.

Spoke up for Priya doing the same thing, and ignores Lottie

Tried to keep the peace between Lottie and Priya, and helps them resolve the issue - It's easier to live in the Villa without needless drama. Clarice's anxiety is hiked up enough as it is.

Day 5

Clarice went down to the pool alone to meet Lucas and Henrik - Why wouldn't she?

While she never cheated on Rocco, she did connect with Lucas like she never had with anyone before. She found him charming and kind and admired his humility despite his obviously posh background.

She definitely suspected Marisol and Rocco having a thing, but hoped he would talk to her about it before acting on it.

Day 6

Clarice was furious about Rocco kissing Marisol during the Kiss and Tell challenge.

She confronted Marisol afterwards, but wasn't aggressive about it. Marisol was by far the girl she's closest to in the Villa at that point. Despite feeling hurt, she wasn't about to ruin the start of a genuine friendship over a man.

Day 7

Worked with Lottie to ice out Rocco, but does agree to speak with him privately.

She was honest about why the girls were upset with him, and unleashed a bit of fury upon him.

Helped Noah win Mr. Love Island - She started to genuinely connect with him and found him very sweet, even though she thought his devotion to Hope was over the top and completely irrational.

Day 8

Extremely worried about the Mean Tweets challenge. She's had more than her fair share of Mean Tweets outside the Villa. She was worried how she came across to the public. She was even worried the producers would throw in one of her mother's.

Oh yeah, Ursula livetweets every episode.

If I had to include one of her tweets in the challenge, it would be:

"It's like Bobby isn't even trying"

She hated that Lucas went home. He was the one person besides Noah that she could see herself having feelings for.

Day 9

Confused by why Lottie wants to get with Gary, but doesn't say anything discouraging. Agrees to not pick him at the next recoupling.

Picked Noah to go on the date - They turn out to have great chemistry, and Clarice was even hopeful that she might be able to choose him at the recoupling.

Clarice fell back on picking Henrik after Hope chose Noah. She didn't see herself with any of the other OG guys.

Day 10

Clarice agreed to work with Priya on Operation Nope - She wanted to be with Noah, and this was the perfect opportunity to really crack on with him. Obviously she knew that Priya fancied him too, but may the best woman win, right?

She didn't tell anyone about ON.

She actually related to Hope acting snappy out of fear, but Hope's insistence on focusing on her rubbed Clarice the wrong way. She tried finding a common ground, and Hope ignored the gesture. She used that as (very poor) justification for...

Clarice kissed Noah. She knew they were having a moment, and went for it. She regretted it after he panicked and left.

Clarice dodged Chelsea's first hug - Why would she want a total stranger touching her without asking?? Though she sort of regrets it in hindsight, because of how close they are now.

"So he's just going to pretend he's innocent then?"

Day 11

She downplayed the severity of Lottie's kiss with Gary - "Hannah only knew him for 3 days." Besides, she's not a hypocrite who would condemn someone else for doing the same thing she did.

Said no to helping Bobby and Marisol resolve the conflicts in the Villa - She didn't trust herself to not make things worse. If things get better, then they'll get better on their own.

Brought Hope the hot chocolate - She knew she was one of the biggest reasons Hope was miserable. They didn't get along, but Clarice never did any of it to hurt Hope. That being said...

She refused to apologize - That's not the kind of woman Ursula raised. She needed to remind herself that she is her Number 1 priority.

Clarice barely interacted with Jakub. He was never her type.

She did apologize to Henrik. She had an obligation to communicate her feelings to him, and didn't. So she apologized. She told him that she fancied Noah and wanted to pursue him, and they broke up.

Bobby was the one to come comfort her and start grafting. She shut it down pretty quickly.

After Marisol asked about it, Clarice told the truth and that she wasn't interested in him. Marisol asked who she is interested in, and she told her Ibrahim just to put a stop to the conversation.

Day 12

Clarice eavesdropped on Noah's conversation with Priya. She was so excited that Noah said he had feelings for her, and that it was all worth it.

No secret of Clarice's was exposed during the Down in Dirt challenge. But if Henrik had opened hers despite her insistence not to, it would've read:

"Clarice was once escorted out of her own great-aunt's pub."

Clarice insisted Priya apologize and make peace with Hope, but refused to back down herself after it came out that Noah wanted to pick her.

"Priya stirring the pot and getting away with it. Can't say I disapprove."

Day 13

Clarice ate the whole cake. Canonically. I don't care, it's one of my favorite parts of the game.

Clarice coupled up with Noah at the Disaster Recoupling.

She was so excited to finally be coupled up with him. She savored every kiss and every touch. That was it for her.

Day 14

Said goodbye to Noah before sneaking off to Casa Amor

The only guy who caught her interest was Kassam, but he clearly wasn't interested, so she never acted on it.

Arjun was basically the leftovers from the other girls, and he seemed like he would be respectful of her space, so Clarice ended up with Arjun for the entirety of Casa Amor. (Even though he didn't give her nearly enough space for her liking.)

Day 15

Clarice didn't volunteer for any extra Villa vs. Villa challenges.

Clarice insisted on remaining loyal to Noah throughout CA.

She enjoyed getting closer to the girls, but was otherwise very reserved.

Day 16

Clarice indulged in Lottie's tea reading, but refused to believe it.

Clarice was shocked by the video the girls received, but still refused to believe Noah would go and sleep with another girl. He wouldn't do that to Hope, and he wouldn't do that to her.

She tried to comfort Hope the rest of the time there. Hope was obviously still upset about the Disaster Recoupling, but she appreciated that Clarice had remained loyal during CA.

Day 17

Clarice spent breakfast with Kassam. She really enjoyed it.

Clarice stuck with Noah.

Day 18

Obviously, Clarice was hurt by Noah bringing back Blake.

Ursula had this to say about Blake's "trying so hard" comment:

"The cheek of this one. Good luck with your career after this, babe."

Looking back, she regards it as karma. Something she deserved.

She didn't really know how to handle it. She kept her distance from Blake as much as possible.

Agreed with Shannon that you get what you deserve in the Villa - She thinks about this conversation often, especially after how she finished the season.

Helped the girls figure out what happened while they were away, and sort of regretted it after...

Noah went back to Hope. Clarice's grievances were ignored and criticized. She was frustrated and hurt.

Clarice saved Elijah from the dumping. She thought maybe she could start to move on from Noah with him.

She said goodbye to Priya, and sort of hated Bobby for letting her be sent home.

She had her first anxiety attack at the Villa that night. Gary and Chelsea were the only ones who knew about it, because they were the ones who stayed up with her until she calmed down.

Day 19

Confided in Chelsea and Shannon that she wished she could've been with Noah

Rather than Shannon teaching her how to read body language, Clarice challenged her to another game of 2 Truths 1 Lie, claiming Ursula raised a perfect liar. (She lost. But Shannon said she should try poker.)

Day 20

Scrambled eggs! It was the only kind Ursula could ever make.

Clarice was nervous about the arrival of Elisa and Jo. Although Jo seemed friendly enough, and Elisa was someone she briefly worked with before.

Didn't agree to talk to Ibrahim for Shannon after the double dates - Shannon needed to talk to him herself. And if he lies, why waste your time with him?

Insisted that Jo be given some space; Defended Chelsea while disagreeing with her actions

Day 21

Had to take multiple breaks from the girls day out - Good lord the fighting was exhausting and nerve-wracking

Helped Hope untangle the mess

Laughed out loud when Jo called her a people pleaser - "I might just be adopted then!"

"A people pleaser! Good on you, love!"

Legitimately almost cried when Chelsea called her amazing??? And when Hope praised her for taking the high road??? She might actually be a good person????

Got the girls to all make up

Cooked 🌟creamy garlic pasta🌟 for the group with Elijah

Started thinking she might have a chance with Noah again

Day 22

Asked Elijah to choose her at the Recoupling - Gave no promises that they'd be the next epic love story

Pining for Noah...

Day 23

Agreed to help Rahim ask Jo to be his girlfriend - Mainly for Noah's sake, because they're best friends

Went shopping with Elijah - Got Jo's nachos, chocolate, and blanked Elijah's flirtations

First pillow fort!

Grinded on Noah's lap during the Heartrate Challenge, then went to Elijah

Went to bed early

Day 24

Excited and relieved to have Lucas back!

Hugged Hannah upon her arrival - Overall, she was proud of Hannah for coming back more willing to get what she wanted.

Named the spider Todd

Reassured Lottie about Hannah

Clarice reassured Elijah after her date, but went up to the terrace and kissed Lucas.

Later at the party, she went back and slept with him. - After he came back, she thought maybe she was finally over Noah. She can be with Lucas and finally be happy in a couple. And she definitely rushed it.

Day 25

She told Elijah everything, and she felt horrible that he was more into her than she was into him.

Confessed to the girls after

Obviously bombed the Happily Ever After challenge

Clarice was left to couple up with Lucas.

Day 26

She was noticeably distant from Lucas - She wrote it off as guilt for cheating with him, though she was still happy to be coupled up with him.

Lottie's snide comments about her cheating made her distance herself from Lottie too.

Became Bra Sisters with Chelsea! And made up a handshake!

Lost the Couple Trouble challenge, so she and Lucas didn't go on the date in the Hideaway

Talking to Gary about his body image and therapy inspired her to go to therapy herself once the show was over. She really related to him when he said this:

Helped Marisol pack - Marisol was still one of her closest friends in the Villa. And she honestly thought it should've been her and Lucas going home.

Day 27

Babies? P A N I C M O D E!!

Clarice does want kids in the future, but doesn't trust herself to not fuck them up.

Very irritated by Lucas's refusal to help with the baby. It stressed her out more than it really needed to, so their unsteady relationship took a hit.

The beach break was a relief. And by the end of it, she was really happy to have made actual friends on the show.

Sent Ibrahim and Jo home - Sure, they're a better couple, but Chelsea is her emotional support bra!

Day 28

Finally got to talk to her mother. She "praised" Clarice for not letting "peer pressure" stop her from getting the guy she really wanted. (It was really a reminder that she still doesn't have him, and she should still go for him. However, what Ursula called peer pressure is what most people consider respecting relationship boundaries.)

Felt awkward talking to Lucas's family

Said no to being his girlfriend at the Final Date - They hadn't been together long enough, and his text conversation with Ursula was fine, but cryptic.

Privately relieved that Noah hadn't asked Hope to be his girlfriend yet

Day 29

Dress shopping was... An experience. She's definitely not unfamiliar with formal wear, but she spent a long time deciding who she should dress for. She ultimately chose a dress she knew Lucas would like.

Hopeless at dancing. She never got any of the steps right.

She tried to be as lighthearted with the speech as possible - She has a hard time opening up, and really, there wasn't many deep feelings to express for him.

Jumped in the pool

Sent Hannah and Elijah home - It was a tough decision, and it came down to Lottie and Gary's relationship being stronger.

Went up to the terrace with Noah, but she decided she was done with him leading her on, struggling to make a decision. She ended it once and for all, as opposed to sleeping with him.

Day 30

Still reeling from the night before

Helped Chelsea make breakfast - She told Chelsea that she wasn't feeling confident in her couple and their chance of winning.

Clarice and Lucas made it all the way to the end, but Noah and Hope won Love Island.

Lucas acted happy to be with Clarice until they went back to the Villa for the After Party. Then, he dumped her. - Clarice was furious, but she felt as though she absolutely deserved it.

Noah decided it would be best if they stayed away from each other.

Clarice told Hannah about what Lucas did, and Hannah promised to give him hell. That solidified their friendship for after the show.

Clarice pulled Chelsea aside, Chelsea nicked a bottle of champagne for them, and confessed everything to her. Her thing with Noah, his lingering looks, the terrace, Lucas acting for the cameras, everything.

Clarice went home with her mother. And cried almost the entire way to the airport.

After the Villa

She faced backlash for her actions in the Villa, but the Islanders she befriended came to her defense.

She had a long talk with Hope after everyone had a chance to watch the season back. It was a miracle Hope and Noah won, considering how much of his time with Clarice had been included in episodes. Hope broke up with him shortly after, and she and Clarice started to repair what they could. They agreed that they absolutely would've been friends if Clarice had made different choices. But for now, they're just being civil.

Ursula apologized for all the biting remarks about people in the Villa, except Noah and Lucas.

Clarice managed to keep her from running a full on smear campaign against them.

Clarice started therapy, and even got anti-anxiety medication.

The producers of Love Island offered her a second chance.

[nothing-but-dreamy]

TRUE COLORS ~ Ch. 3

You want to start the series? Chapter 1

Pairing: DBH!Connor x OC!Maya

Words: 2325

Warnings: none; Connor is adorable

After another long day at the Chicken Feed truck, Maya was glad to be back home. The neverending rain got replaced by soft falling snow, how it got announced. As she entered her apartment, Maya shook off the snow from her cost and got greeted by the soft female voice of her intercom. A nice warmth and her favorite ambient music were flooding her own four walls. That was home.

The tall skyline of Detroit rose behind the windows, its lights sparkling like million candles in the distance. One by one, Maya switched on small lamps for more indirect light and atmosphere. It was just past eight but already dark. From the right, she heard a low plop.

"Hey, Trevor. You're awake. Good morning, little one.", Maya said and greeted her small, nocturnal gecko in its terrarium. The small creature croaked happily as it saw its owner. Maya sprayed water for more humidity and removed an old leaf.

"It's freezing cold outside. You can be happy to be in there where it is so warm.", she said low, closed the glass door of the terrarium and decided to take a bath. A long, hot bath would be the right thing to end this long work day and to start her evening.

*

"You have a visitor.", the intercom announced. Maya lowered her pencil and looked confused at the digital clock of her stove.

"Now? Who would visit me now?", she asked into the empty apartment. Trevor had no answer. It was past 2 AM and there was no one who would visit her to such an hour except Gary, who would have some kind of trouble. Maya sighed, stood up and answered the door. Surprise wouldn't be even the right choice of word to describe how Maya felt as she opened the door.

"C-Connor? What...what are you doing here?", she asked, still with the handle holding in her hand to close the door whenever necessary.

"Lieutenant Anderson suggested that I shall visit you.", Connor said and looked kinda lost. He had followed Hank’s instructions and yet, it seemed to be wrong again.

"Visit me? Why?", Maya asked puzzled. She watched how Connor, whose hair and shoulders were covered in snow, looked at a point in the distance. His LED flashing yellow.

"To talk about emotions.", Connor answered and looked back at Maya. She knew that she still looked at him with confusion.

"Okay, help me a bit here. I'm confused and have no idea how I could help you. Is it because of your case? Happened something there?", Maya asked directly and noticed how Connor relaxed a bit. That was a field he could control. Suddenly, she felt the coldness of the hallway on her naked feet, so she stepped aside.

"Come in. It's getting cold.", Maya said softly and let the android in, “What happened?”, she asked, closed the door and followed Connor.

"We were chasing two deviants and I...I had trained my gun at them. They were right in front of me but...", Connor started his explanation while he stepped into her living room.

"But you haven’t shot them?", Maya asked as he didn’t end his sentence. She tried to keep the nervousness out of her voice but held her breath.

"N-no... I... I couldn't.", Connor answered and looked at the ground while his LED was spinning yellow. Maya released her breath and relaxed. But she was also concerned about the state of the android.

"So, you didn't shoot them and that troubles you?", Maya asked softly. Connor nodded and this time, she gave him the time to speak when he was ready. He stopped at the wall and looked at her paintings.

"I got sent by CyberLife to investigate the spreading deviancy. The phenomenon that androids seem to start to feel. I got programmed to hunt and to stop deviants before it’s too late. To prevent something bad from happening.", he said automatically as if he was just repeating something he had said hundreds of times or what was an essential part of his code.

"But you couldn't shoot the two androids even if they were right in front of you? You acted against your program?", Maya asked, slowly understanding what the android's problem was. Connor was shifting between fulfilling his mission and obviously developing emotions on his own. For him it was problematic to process everything properly. Maya was sure that there was nothing in this world that would be more difficult for him right now.

"I... I don't know how that could happen.", Connor said and looked back at Maya who leant against her couch with her hands shoved into her front pockets.

"Can you tell me more about the androids? Or the case?", Maya asked calmly.

"It were two girls from the Eden Club. One of them killed a guy... accidentally.", Connor answered, remembering the early evening.

"Why did she kill the guy?", Maya asked, now, truly interested. Until now, she had just heard a few rumors about androids developing emotions. But murder was a whole new level.

"She said she was just defending herself as the victim started to hit her. She feared that she would die and so she... She...", Connor said and stopped.

"She defended herself to run away with another android?", Maya asked and connected the dots.

"Yeah... Lieutenant Anderson said the two girls seem to be in ... love.", Connor said and drew his brows together as he processed the said. Since he had started to talk about the case, now, it was the first time where his LED circled rapidly in a blinking yellow and a hint of red. For Maya the indicator that this was his main problem.

"They were in love? And as the one told you why she did it you couldn't shoot her?", Maya asked and Connor nodded. Once again, the android looked through her apartment to distract himself.

Connor scanned the area out of habit. The gecko croaked as it watched, very interested, how the android walked through the apartment. Next to the terrarium was a desk with sketches scattered over it. A bigger pad laid in the middle of the desk. A sketch of a person was drawn but it wasn't finished, just the outlines, so Connor had no idea what it would be later. Next to the desk was a canvas stand with a painting in the making. Several shades of green were smeared across the canvas and created an illusion of depth.

On the wall behind the stand, Connor saw finished, colorful paintings. They were paintings of geckos and plants like copies of the plants that were spread in the apartment. Connor scanned the plants. All of them were real and healthy with the right hydration. Another painting of her gecko hung at the other wall and Connor was looking at it for a few minutes. Maya walked over to him. His LED had calmed down back to blue. She was glad to see the android to be more relaxed again.

"You're very talented. Are you a painter?", Connor asked, looking at Maya with curiosity.

"Yeah... I'm currently studying art to get my bachelor's degree.", Maya said and looked at the painting one last time before she walked over to the couch. She signaled Connor to follow her. Maya sat with crossed legs in one corner of her couch and Connor sat next to her, well-behaved like a kid with his hands folded in his lap and with a straight back.

"So, how I see it, you have troubles processing the fact that you couldn't shoot the deviants how you should have.", Maya said cautiously. Connor nodded but stayed silent.

"Was it a conscious decision you made?", she asked further. Minutes were ticking by before Connor looked up at her. His brown eyes looked soft but sad. His face held a confused expression. Maya laid her hand reassuring on his arm and she noticed how his LED circled yellow. Maybe processing her question or her touch.

"Take your time to answer. We have all the time in the world.", Maya said low and softly with a smile.

"It was a decision I made. I decided not to shoot because...", Connor admitted finally.

"Because?", Maya asked softly. Connor looked from her hand into her eyes.

"I saw no reason. I knew I had to shoot them because my program, my mission, demanded it but I... I didn't want to.", Connor admitted low and blinked several times as he realized what he had said. Maya smiled softly at him.

"You made a decision on your own, Connor. It was your own decision to spare these girls because their death wasn't helpful for your mission."

"But I.. that must not be! I have to fulfill my mission to stop the deviants.", Connor said troubled.

"I'm convinced you will be able to find a way to solve this case without killing someone. There is always an alternative. To spare someone's life is always better.", Maya said and watched how Connor calmed down. His LED turned from yellow back to blue and slowed down.

"You said something about love earlier.", Maya asked and tried to guide the conversation to the next important topic. The reason why Hank had sent this android to her in the middle of the night.

"Y-yeah... Hank said the androids, the two girls, would be in love.", Connor explained and looked confused again. For Maya, he looked totally cute like this but she had to focus back on the current situation to keep a clear mind.

"You now, love is a good thing. There is no need to stop it. Love is the biggest power in this world.", Maya tried to explain a complex emotion.

"But they're androids. They don't really feel something. Their emotions are just errors in their software. They're emulating them.", Connor said, what sounded more like instructions in a manual.

"Do you really think that?", Maya asked, interested in his answer. There was something in his eyes that betrayed him.

"I.. yes.", Connor said but Maya saw the insecurity in his eyes. It had been a mechanical, programmed answer which would come automatically.

"What is love?", Connor asked suddenly.

"Oh, uhm... you can't explain that easily but I will try it. Love connects people in a powerful way. There is the bond between parents and their kids. Between siblings and of course, between two people in a relationship. When you love someone, they are the first thought in the morning when you wake up and the last before you fall asleep. You are willing to do anything for the one you love. Sometimes you fear to lose them because without them you wouldn't feel complete. There are people who would die to save the one they love. Or kill each other because they can't be together like Romeo and Juliet.", Maya tried to explain as best as possible. Love was a complex structure which wasn't easy to explain within a few minutes.

"That's a dramatic reaction.", Connor said serious as he processed the information.

"Love can be magnificent...or even disastrous. But if you love, you know that because the other person is everything you can think of. They matter more than your own life and you just want to be with them. Suddenly, there is someone in your life who seemed to be more important than yourself.", Maya closed her explanation. Connor inclined his head to one side.

"Have you ever been in love?", he asked interested. Maya was friendly and calm and the complete difference to all the humans he had met so far. He watched her bright eyes sparkling in the half dark and her hair falling over her shoulders like soft waves. For the first time, he noticed such things on someone else.

‘Software instability…’, the note popped up in front of his eyes.

"Oh… uhm…not really...not how I have explained it but in some way...yeah-", Maya explained stammering.

"But you're alone, aren't you? Or do you have a partner at the moment?", Connor asked further. Now, more interested in her than before.

‘Software instability…’, once again the note was showing up.

"No, I.. I'm single, at the moment. I had a few relationships but nothing too serious.", Maya answered, shifting uncomfortably.

"Haven't you loved them enough that they left?", Connor asked and Maya felt more uncomfortable under his intense glance which was innocent at the same time. She understood that Connor was like a child at this point. If he wanted to understand, he had to ask questions that came to his mind.

"Unfortunately, it's not that simple. There are different factors for people to stay together and sometimes... it's not enough to love each other. Sometimes even loving someone isn't enough that a relationship works out.", Maya tried to explain but she saw that Connor had difficulties to follow.

"Okay, look, I will try to explain it to you.", Maya changed her sitting position closer to Connor. He followed her lead and it seemed that he made himself more comfortable.

***

As she awoke, Maya realized that she must have fallen asleep on the couch. Slowly, she remembered how she had tried to explain love to an android the whole night. As she sat up, Maya noticed the blanket covering her.

"Connor?", she asked sleepy into the apartment but there was no response. She wasn't surprised but she smiled softly about the memories of how they had talked until she had fallen asleep against Connor's shoulder in the early morning hours.

Feeling wonderful, Maya pulled the blanket closer to her chest to keep the warmth a moment longer. That was it that a small piece of paper fell to the ground. Maya leant forward to collect it. It was just a small note but the words let her smile:

I had to leave and I didn't want to wake you. Thank you for … everything!

[nightwingmyboi]

Tim is the fandoms sad white boi fav, which is why there's so many ppl rushing to defend him over every other character😂. Like idk if you read fic but I can't look thru any batfam character tag w/out tripping over 500+ ~uwu sad boy tim~ fic's abt how the entire family is SO mean to him, everyone ABANDONED him, +a weird focus on how insecure he is, how much he ~doubts his place~ when like. . . He was pretty full of himself in Canon??? Idk but Tim stans r wild 😖

lmao...i really don’t want this blog turning into a tim drake hate blog i promise! Because there are things that I like about his original character, like how he wasn’t really naturally athletically gifted so he had to train a ton and work really hard and use trickery/cunning to even out the battlefield for himself, and he really holds his own. (Not that I’m trying to say he is incompetent, just compared to the superhuman level of the batfam and the hero community, he doesn’t really have a natural aptitude and I like how his hardwork has paid off). 

But. I’ve seen so many posts talking about Dick, Jason, and Damian’s flaws (people are constantly harping on Dick’s temper, etc. and everyone acknowledges that Damian was/is a brat and that Jason goes around killing people sometimes and isn’t exactly stable, but we all love these characters anyway) but I have seen like. Practically no one criticizing Tim, and even on the posts that I see taking Tim down a peg or two, the majority of the notes are just people explaining his flaws away (there are of course exceptions to this I assume, I’m just talking about what I’ve seen in my little corner of tumblr dot com). 

So yeah, what I’m saying is that Tim is very condescending (and with that condescension pretty sexist [x]) and sometimes, he sees people more as chess pieces for him to use and disregards the fact that they are people with feelings and emotions (like Bruce in this way). He spends a lot of his time as Robin trashing Jason in his head for being reckless as Robin (to be fair, DC really had an agenda to try to take the blame for Jason’s death off Bruce and put it onto the victim for some reason and Tim was a convenient mouthpiece, but still. Tim was very consistent in his thoughts towards Jason) and saying that he’ll do better. Which doesn’t exactly scream insecurity. He goes around having a girlfriend while also kissing Spoiler/Stephanie multiple times, which is a pretty freakin messy situation that no one talks about huh? (yet neither of these girls find out so once again Tim escapes any actual canon punishment). 

And with the Damian stuff, people like to act like Tim is totally in the right, but I can’t get over the initial stuff with them. Like, Bruce tells Tim that Damian was brutalized and brainwashed in the League and deserves compassion and love and Tim flat out says ‘he should earn it’. (This is just meeting Damian, before any physical confrontation). Damian is like 10 in his first appearances and I just can’t get over how much Tim lacked any sense of empathy for Damian here. A lot of their rivalry is Damian instigating, true. But he is a ten year old who doesn’t know any other way of life. Tim is freaking college age and he always seems to scoff at Damian’s progress and disregard his feelings (like with the whole putting him on a contingency list in Red Robin). 

Look, sorry to really go into Tim like this, I know he has good qualities and his own traumas too. You could make a list of bad choices/decisions for any character (and people have for all the other people in the Batfam). But it is frustrating how fanon and even canon don’t hold Tim accountable for any of his mistakes or flaws. Like, Dick acts like Batman and everyone is calling him out for it. The Titans, Batfam, and even Tim explicitly tell Dick to stop acting like Bruce/Batman a ton. But Tim acts like Batman and everyone gives him a pat on the back. Why. I think that Tim is and would be a much more interesting character if we took his flaws into account and let him struggle with them, like we do with Damian’s superiority complex. Like, the reason that Tim can sometimes come off as a bland Gary Stu is because they don’t let him have any flaws or let him make any mistakes. So yeah anon, those are my two cents on the situation. 

[player1064]

back again with more carraville brain rot 😃 already out and very whipped carraville dealing with open homophobia from their own fans for the first time since coming out knowing it would happen eventually but not being as prepared as they’d thought they were, whether it’s just one or both of them up to you, lots of comfort of course and defense from either people at sky/class of 92 and extended mates etc. :)))))

had a hard time trying to work out the Vibe for this one bc like tbh I can't imagine fans being that bad like surely SURELY in 2024 they've moved on from the classic football homophobia... but then I remembered that people LOVE to hate Gary so of course they would. And Gary doesn't care about people hating him but Jamie is fussy and protective so he's getting all angry on Gary's behalf meanwhile he's out too and everyone is still lovely to him kdsgfjhkdsds.....

---

Gary’s not exactly a stranger to getting abuse from the stands. It sort of comes with the job – his name has always been and will continue to be attached to his club, and for every football fan he meets that supports United he’s going to meet another five who hate his guts.

Besides, he was at one point the proud holder of the title ‘most hated footballer in England’. Any cruel chants people can come up with, he’s probably heard it before.

So the first time it happens, he doesn’t even notice.

He’s pitch-side for Monday Night Football, chatting about the upcoming game, when he sees a producer behind the camera shoot a worried look towards the stands before giving him the ‘cut’ gesture.

He’d thought he still had a couple of minutes, was only just getting into the swing of it, but he’s a professional so he winds it up quickly and lets them cut back to studio.

Once the light’s off on the camera, he takes his earpiece out and asks “what was’at about?”

The producer just stares at him for a second, astounded. She blinks, then says “the audio – the mics keep picking up noise from the stands, and obviously – we can’t air that sort of thing.”

With a while to go before kick-off, the stands are still only half-full, and for the first time all evening Gary takes a moment to actually listen to what the home supporters are chanting.

He’s not sure what he’s expecting, maybe to be called a cunt (which he’s always rather enjoyed), but this –

He turns to the producer but she’s on the phone, speaking in harsh whispers. After a minute or two, she strides over to Gary and holds the phone out, scowling.

“Carragher’s threatening to walk off set,” she tells him. “You try talk some sense into him.”

Gary takes the phone, walks a few steps away from the camera set-up and says “Carra, you muppet, what’s this I hear about you walking out mid-show?”

“Someone ‘as to do somethin’,” Jamie says, “Show the fans it’s not okay to –”

“Christ alive, ‘s hardly the first time in my life I’ve been called a fag, now, is it?” Gary says with a strained chuckle, though when he tries to think back he’s not entirely sure that’s true. Still, first time for everything. “An’ what’s you havin’ a hissy fit gonna achieve? It’s Leeds, Jamie, you know they like to try rile me up ‘ere. And you’re a five hour drive away, what exactly d’you think you can do right now, idiot?”

He hears Jamie’s breathing start to slow down. “’s not right, though.”

“Eh, maybe not. But I’ve had worse, and Sky’s not payin’ you a million a year to yell at rowdy fans, are they? So go park yer bum, apologise to David for your tantrum, and get on wit’ show. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

He hangs up, and hands the phone back to the producer with a nod.

“We’re good?” she asks, eyeing him carefully.

“We’re good.” There’s a dull ache starting to build at his temples. This, too, he’s pretty good at ignoring. He smiles. “About time to head up to commentary box, in’t it?”

*

Jamie wants to talk about it on the podcast the next day. Gary tells him to stop being so dramatic.

*

Except, turns out it wasn’t a one-time thing.

It’s funny, the fans mostly leave Jamie alone. It’s Gary they seem to have a problem with, like he, personally, is everything wrong with the world of football. It comes from both sides, too, the small minority who hate him for being gay and the so-called allies who criticise him for daring to come out when he should have known that it’d only aggravate the existing problems in football culture.

Again, Jamie gets none of this. Gary suspects this is because Liverpool is leading the league while United are still stuck mid-table.

He goes out to a pub with his friends one Saturday after Salford’s lost their latest fixture, and he leaves with a black eye.

That’s new.

*

“Put all the make-up on it you want,” Jamie complains while they’re getting set up for the next Stick to Football, “don’t hide the fact that yer eye looks half the size it’s meant to be.”

It’s really not that bad. Gary ignores him and lets the make-up lady continue to work her magic.

“Thoughtful of them to hit the side that’s faced away from camera, wouldn’t you say? ‘sides, it’s not even that bad.” He looks across the table and shrugs. “Is it, Roy?”

Roy’s glare is all the reply he needs.

“This doesn’t feel right, Gal,” says Wrighty, reaching out to touch Gary’s hand. “Are you sure you don’t want to – we’ve got a good audience, here, maybe talking about it would help.”

“This one weren’t even about the gay thing!” he argues. The other four around the table give him disbelieving looks. “It weren’t. It was just post-match frustrations, these things ‘appen.”

“But nobody ever tried to hit you before the fuckin’ gay thing, did they?” Roy says.

Gary sighs, exasperated. “I don’t want it to start a whole conversation, though, do I? Just want things to go back to normal.”

“I, uh,” Jill says, clearing her throat awkwardly. “I don’t think this one’s gonna just ‘go back to normal’, to be fair.”

Well, never let it be said that Gary can’t tell when he’s outnumbered.

“Fine,” he says, raising his hands in surrender. “Fine, we’ll talk about it. But I’m tellin’ you, it won’t change anythin’”

*

“No match commentary, for rest of season. Me as well. Studio only.”

“That’s a nonsense, Jamie, I can try talk them ‘round –”

“It were my idea.”

“James…”

Jamie’s looking at him, face set, stubborn as always. And he’s so stupid, sometimes, so naïve. Ready to go to war over something that Gary’s been treating like nothing more than a minor nuisance.

“You want things to go back to normal?” Jamie argues, voice steady. “Doesn’t get much more normal than me ‘n’ you in studio on a Monday night, does it? It’ll be like old times.”

God, but Gary loves this man.

“Thought they’ve been tryin’ to keep us apart, on screen,” he says lightly, trying for a smirk. His way of telling Jamie fine, you win this one. “Keep us from getting handsy, like.”

Jamie’s face breaks into a grin, his shoulders relaxing. “Speak for yerself, lad, I’m a professional. Think I can keep me hands to meself for an hour or two.”

“Professional my arse,” Gary says, taking a step towards Jamie. “I’d bet you couldn’t last ten minutes.”

Jamie, as if this somehow helps his case, places his hands on Gary’s hips and pulls him closer. Gary, who’s made no such promises of keeping his hands to himself, loops his arms around Jamie’s shoulders and uses one hand to gently bash the back of his head.

Jamie rolls his eyes with a fond smile and leans in to kiss him.

“Uh uh uh,” Gary says, leaning away from him. “Thought you were a professional, like, can’t go kissin’ your co-pundit where anyone might see.”

“You are such a bloody nightmare,” Jamie grumbles, and goes to kiss him again.

This time, Gary lets him.

[carry-on-snowbazzing]

My 5 best of 2020 (in 2021 😂)

1. A summer day ☀

"Well, Baz! Do you want to move?" Penelope yelled, already in the car (a certain MG dated 1967).

Simon studied his own reflection in the rearview mirror, running a hand through his bronze curly tuft and resulting in even more messiness.

"A minute!" was the answer from a few floors above the apartment.

Penelope rolled her eyes and picked up her Iphone.

Shortly after, hurried footsteps were heard coming down the stairs and Baz, after closing the door, got into the car.

Simon leaned out of the back seat and kissed him on the cheek.

He smiled and, starting the engine, exclaimed:

"Destination: fun!"

  Later there were four of them getting out of the car: Baz with a beach umbrella over his shoulder, Simon struggling with a giant inflatable pink flamingo, Penelope with a cooler bag, and Agatha with another bag, containing beach towels and sunscreen.

"The weather forecasts were right; today’s a perfect day for the sea," Penelope commented as she slipped off her flip-flops and dropped her bag into the sand.

"Edward shines like a fairy!" Simon yelled, putting on a pair of sunglasses and pointing to Baz.

"Stop it, Snow," he laughed, "and give me my glasses back; all this sunshine stuns me."

Trying to ignore them, Agatha took off her cover-up and began to rub off the protection angrily.

"Whoever dives himself last is a pixie!" Simon yelled, throwing his t-shirt and starting to run towards the sea with Penelope at his heels.

Several splashes and laughter later, the two returned wet, smiling and hungry.

Meanwhile, Baz and Agatha had dedicated themselves to crossword puzzles and to the horoscope.

"Agatha, there must be some butter and turkey sandwiches in the cooler," Penelope said as she wrapped herself in her towel.

"I couldn't find anything better for you than beef carpaccio," she said to Baz.

He smiled making 'OK' with both thumbs.

"And for me?" Agatha asked, offended that her friend hadn't thought of her too.

"Fruit salad" she replied. "I know you're on a vegetarian diet."

Agatha blushed feeling a little guilty and muttered something like "Oh, thank you".

Everyone literally devoured their lunch, because, as Simon ruled on his fifth butter sandwich, "The sea makes you hungry."

They gossiped a bit about their old classmates, wondering if Gareth still had his belt buckle as a wand and if Trixie had a fight with his girlfriend.

  They lost track of time after falling asleep in the early afternoon sun.

It was the sound of a notification that woke Agatha, who, after seeing her mother's message ('Where are you? Coven party tonight!'), made a shrill sound that woke the others too.

"Damn, I'm in mega-delay!" she complained, sitting up and hastily gathering his things.

Seeing her so agitated, no one dared contradict her and they hurried too.

Before leaving for the return, all already in the car, Simon took out a Polaroid from the trunk (not an easy feat, given the bulky mass of the flamingo) and urged them:

"Wait! Say 'cheese'!"

Everyone posed, waiting for the flash.

Once the picture was taken, Simon reached for the film that had just come out of the instant camera, but found himself clutching a slice of Emmental in his fingers.

Baz couldn't help himself and laughed uncontrollably.

"Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch!" Simon bursted, but he couldn't bear a grudge and joined in the general laughter.

___________________________________________________

2. Shopping (Big & Little) 🥄

"They'll be emptying the mall, those two" Agatha commented, looking at the clock on the kitchen wall and adding another egg to the bowl.

"Probably" replied Penelope, who was handling the curry risotto.

"They've been away for three hours!" Agatha insisted, "and with two credit cards!".

Penelope gave her a look like 'what can we do?' and again consulted the handwritten note attached to the refrigerator with a magnet (shaped like a scone).

"Oh, I forgot the onion!" she moaned after a quick glance, "my mother would kill me if she knew!".

She went back to the stove and for a few minutes they remained silent, one intent on vigorously banging the whips, the other busy slicing the bulb.

Once Agatha had baked the chocolate cake (wiping a non-existent sweat with her glove) and Penelope had remedied her mistake, the girls dropped onto the sofa.

They were just debating which movie to watch that night when they heard the key turn in the lock and Simon exclaim from the entrance:

"We’re at home!"

The two joined them in the living room and Baz asked:

"Curry and chocolate?"

Penelope nodded.

"Sometimes I wish I was a vampire; just smell a dish to understand if the doses are right or wrong," she sighed.

"Shopping?" Agatha asked, looking at the numerous envelopes they both had in their hands and casting a reproachful look at Simon.

"There were the sales" he tried to justify himself, shrugging his shoulders.

"Hurry up; you’ll show us your spoils of war after dinner" Penelope ordered.

  "What do you think?" Simon began, smugly showing a set of jeans for Baz and a giant jar of sour cherries scones.

Penelope seemed to try not to roll her eyes.

"I stayed on the intellectual side" Baz said, pulling a stack of books and a pack of pastel highlighters out of a bag.

"I need them for the college" he explained to Agatha, who was trying to get hold of the markers.

"And you haven't seen the piece of resistence!" Simon shrieked, grabbing a smiling Baz by the wrist and dragging him into the nearest room.

They came out moments later walking backwards (in what was supposed to be an imitation of Michael Jackson's moonwalk), so they could only see their backs.

"3, 2, 1 ..." Baz counted.

"Ta daaaan!" Simon exclaimed as they turned at the same time.

They wore matching gray sweatshirts; both had a black molded spoon.

'Big' was written on Baz's, while Simon's 'Little'.

"Awww" the girls screamed in unison, in the grip of a fangirl attack (which managed to make Agatha look adoring too).

"We have a pair for you too" Baz said, handing Penelope a black t-shirt with 'Brownie' on it, while Simon gave Agatha a white one with 'Blondie' on it.

"Thanks, guys" Penelope murmured moved and Agatha initiated a group hug.

photos references

------------------------------------------------------------------

3. Anniversary 💞

here

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4. Ops! 🧴

 Simon knocked for the tenth time on the bathroom door:

"Occupied!" Baz yelled for the tenth time.

"And sorry, but I can't hold it anymore anymore ..."

Simon abruptly released the handle, abandoning his irritated tone.

He let out a cry, muffled by the hands that he immediately brought to his mouth.

Baz was shirtless in front of the mirror, glaring at his own reflection.

Everything was perfectly normal, except for his hair: it had turned from raven to red.

Fawn red.

"If you tell anyone about this, Snow, I will end you" he growled menacingly.

Simon stood there, speechless. When he had regained the use of his mouth, he barely stifled a laugh and intoned:

“Weasley is our king

he always lets the Quaffle in ... "

From Baz's look, he knew it would be wiser to stop, so he did it.

He approached cautiously and asked gently:

"What happened to you?".

"I wish I knew; I was taking a normal shampoo shower" sighed Baz.

Meanwhile Simon had reached the sink and was looking closely at the bottle of the citron and bergamot scented blend.

"It doesn't seem to have anything strange" he then ruled, placing it back on the shelf.

"Indeed; I went to get it from my home in Hampshire; Daphne can only find it in our town's herbalist's shop," Baz replied sadly.

"I really can't explain it" he went on, unable to get over it.

"My sister gave it to me ..." he stopped suddenly.

He clapped her forehead and turned on the lock screen of his smartphone.

"Today is April 1st," he murmured.

He took the vial in one hand and, with the ivory wand in the other, exclaimed:

"Show me your secrets!".

The writing on the label changed from 'Shampoo with citrus notes' to 'Permanent color intense red'.

"MORDELIAAAAA!" he screamed as Simon rolled with laughter.

"April Fool!" he managed to exclaim between a laugh and another.

That’s totally inspired by a fanart of @vkelleyart​ 💖 :  that 

------------------------------------------------------------------

5. Trick or treat? 👻

 "Well, Baz! If you don't move, we'll only have the sub-brand candy left!" Simon railed.

With all the peace of mind he could, Baz went down the stairs and joined his screaming boyfriend, who was immediately silent at his sight.

"Morgana, Basilton; you really mean it" Penelope commented, watching him as she lit another candle to put in the Jack o 'lanterns carved by Simon and Baz (which occupied all the flat surfaces of the apartment).

"I've been doing some accurate researches over the last week" he began, making a theatrical gesture in his vampire cloak.

"You even have the same jacket as Gary Oldman" she observed excitedly.

He, in response, gave her a perfidious look, baring his fangs.

Simon was still in his silence and couldn't take his eyes off him.

"What's up Snow, the cat got your tongue?" Baz asked, amused.

He answered with a tongue sticking out and approached him with a raised eyebrow (in perfect Baz style).

"Wow" he commented after kissing him on the cheek.

"Enjoy yourselves!" Penelope exclaimed as they came out hand in hand.

  "Where do we go now?" Baz asked.

Simon moved with great ease between one bell and another, meticulously illustrating the specialties offered by each house.

His phrases were: "Here you can always find top quality stuff", or "No, better to avoid an indigestion".

After scouring all the houses on the first five blocks, Simon had an epiphany.

"For a thousand snakes! Baz, we absolutely have to go to the 'Spooky night' party!" he screamed, making him jump.

"Crowley, Snow! Calm down!" he retorted irritably, adjusting the cuffs of his shirt.

"You don't understand," Simon insisted.

"Our loot is loser when compared to everything you can find there; Strawberry Blood Drip, Every Flavour Beans, Pumpkin PIE, Butterbeer and, hold on ... Oreo with Orange Cream!"

Baz, seeing him so excited ('like a child', he thought), couldn’t say no to him (although he wanted to go home more than anything else; his feet protested against Count Dracula's boots).

"And where would it be?" he asked, trying not to smile.

"A couple of blocks from here; hurry up!" Simon urged him, taking him by the hand and starting to run.

  "A delusion!" Simon snapped, leaving the bag full of sweets on the doormat.

"What happened?" Penelope asked Baz, who had just closed the door behind him and limped desperately as he headed for the sofa.

"In short at that damn party they had finished everything and told us our costumes sucked" he explained.

Simon was with his arms folded, all sulking, sitting in the armchair.

"Look at their costumes! And let me have something to eat, rather!" he barked.

Penelope approached him and, looking at him tenderly, reassured him:

"We always have our repertoire of horror films."

Simon shrugged, hitting the nearby lamp.

"And I was prepared for any eventuality," she went on, snapping her fingers and popping up a pack of Oreos with orange cream.

Simon's face cleared, illuminated by a huge grin.

__________________________________________________

Ty @letraspal​ for tagging me 💕

That’s all; hope u like it!  💜

Happy new Year! ✨

[dadspeed-appreciationsquad]

Content

Gary isn't used to people touching him. Side hugs, hand holding, it's all new to him.

He flinches almost everytime someone places a hand on his shoulder. Not in a bad way, just in a "oh my crap this is a lot of sensations I'm feeling" kinda way.

Set in Final Space. This can be read by itself or you can perceive it between How Do I Tell Him? And Changes.

~

Gary was used to loneliness. He was almost comforted by the familiar feeling it gave. The empty feeling in his chest that consumed him for most of his life, at least until Mooncake showed up and changed everything. But can you blame the guy? He spent 5 years in solitude and even before that he didn't really have any friends or family to share the occasional "hug" with. Before Gary was imprisoned, he was alone for most of his life. The only person that had shown him any love or affection had died when he was young, too young to really retain what affection felt like.

So his friends touching him was an entirely new experience.

His friends aren't really ones to display affection, they're the type to give an excited hug after a job well done or a pat on the shoulder if you did something good. But they almost never laid a hand on another when an adrenaline rush wasn't involved.

Gary on the other hand, has always been a touchy guy. Pats on the back, arms swung around shoulders, Gary is a very friendly person. He likes to be around people and be close to the ones he trusts.

Sometimes he wonders if he's being annoying or clingy when he drapes himself over Avocato or leans against him, but Avocato hasn't said anything against it, so Gary hasn't stopped. Gary could tell he hated it at first, but he's like a cat. Once they like you, and I mean really like you, they'll seek you out when they want attention.

Gary isn't new to touching people, he's just new to people touching him.

He doesn't mean that in a bad way, he's not entirely uncomfortable with touching. It was more like, something as small as a side hug sent shivers down his spine. Or if someone, not naming names, nuzzled up to him, he'd immediately get weak in the knees, and not in a "God he's so hot I'm weak" kinda way. Him being weird about touch wasn't always based on his attraction. When his mom patted him on the back he flinched away, not because he was upset, it was just. Weird. It was like, it was too much. He would get overwhelmed when someone else touched him.

Was this normal?

It kinda creeped him out to be honest.

One of the only people that were an exception was Little Cato. He felt comforted when he and Little Cato hugged or clasped. It didn't feel uncomfortable or like it was too much. He doesn't know why or what makes him different. Maybe it was the level of trust? No, because he trusts Quinn and he trusted Nightfall. Maybe it was because they had both comforted each other multiple times to the point touching became their way of comfort?

He's not sure.

On the other side, Avocato also wasn't used to touching, which Gary provided a sufficient amount of. It was weird at first, actually it took everything in him to not claw Gary's eyes out when they first met. But as they grew closer, he began to trust Gary. It was different than what he was used to. He was once a highly respected General, he was untouchable. Those under his command could hardly even look at him, not that they wanted to. But now, Gary quite literally drapes himself over him. It wasn't bad, not that Avocato would ever admit that. It's a nice change of pace, and he trusts Gary.

After some time, Avocato began seeking out his touch. He would stand way too close, sit too close, and he even leaned into any touch Gary provided. Avocato would find himself nuzzling into hugs only to deny it if questioned. Gary got the hint after the first few denials. So he stopped asking and just went with it.

Eventually Avocato began to get impatient while waiting for Gary to initiate touches. Gary was always busy doing repairs, counting stock, flying, there was always something he had to do. So Avocato started dishing it out as well.

Which is what induced Gary into a small panic of flinching gasps and small jolts.

It started small, hands on shoulders, brushing hands together when standing too close, and Avocato has even started giving Gary the occasional side hug whenever they were standing next to each other. If Gary was sitting, Avocato would drape his arm over Gary's shoulder. If Gary was standing, Avocato would wrap his arm around Gary's waist. He hardly noticed Gary's odd fidgeting whenever they touched, and when he did, he figured it was just Gary being Gary.

If either of them were weirded out, no one said anything. So the small touches kept happening and more of it.

~

Avocato walked into the lounge to see Gary sipping from a coffee mug. He was leaning against the table, half of his torso on the table. Gary had to tilt his head upwards awkwardly and slowly sip at his drink to not spill it. Avocato smiled and cradled his cup of milk close to him as he walked over.

"I hope you're not drinking coffee at this hour." Avocato placed his cup on the table and sat across Gary, crossing his legs. He leaned back against the booth in a relaxed manner. Gary looked up at Avocato.

"Nope, just some warm milk." He raised his mug and gave a small smile before setting it back down.

"Can't sleep?" Avocato took a sip from his cup and leaned forward. He noticed the bags under Gary's eyes and tried not to frown.

Gary shrugged. "Not really, what are you doing up at this hour?" Although they couldn't really perceive time in Final Space, the Crimson Light had a day and night cycle. Light for 12 hours, dimmed lights for 12 hours. Sheryl was the one currently keeping an eye on piloting while most slept.

Avocato mimicked Gary and shrugged. "Can't sleep." They sat in silence for a moment, just enjoying the presence of the other. They both took sips from their drink before Gary smiled deviously. Avocato furrowed his brow.

"So what if we could help each other?" Gary asked innocently, batting his eyelashes. Avocato bit his lip and narrowed his eyes.

"How so?" Gary stood and leaned forward on the table, getting very close to Avocato's face. Avocato was used to this behavior, so he just stared at Gary with a raised brow. He also wasn't too upset about the sudden proximity.

"Sleepover!" Gary moved out from the booth and grabbed Avocato's hand. He dragged him to his room, drinks left forgotten. He tugged Avocato through the halls and to his room.

"Wa-Wait, Gary, I-" Gary opened his door and pushed Avocato in. Avocato stumbled slightly and turned to look at Gary.

"No buts! What better way to exhaust yourself than hanging out with your best bud?" Gary placed his hands on his hips and puffed out his chest proudly.

Avocato rolled his eyes. "I can think of a few better ways." He muttered to himself with a smirk on his face.

"Hmm? What was that?" Gary tilted his head, too into his own world to understand what Avocato was implying.

Avocato simply shook his head. "You want to play cards then?"

Gary's face lit up and a bright smile displayed across his face. It's been awhile since Avocato had seen Gary smile like that.

He tried to ignore the flutter in his stomach.

Gary nodded his head viciously and moved to his bed, grabbing his cards from his nightstand on the way. He jumped on the bed and sat criss crossed. The energetic man-child began to excitedly shuffle the cards as he patted the other side of the bed.

"Are you going to play, or just stand there?"

Avocato walked over and sat across from him. "Of course I'm going to play. I just don't know if you can handle losing."

Gary laughed. "They only thing I'll have to handle is your sore loser attitude!" Gary began dealing the cards. They started with a simple game of SlapJack. Both were very aggressive and competitive. Gary loved playing with Avocato most because he matched Gary's level of aggression in cards, it's not easy to find a partner that can dish it out and take the heat.

They flipped cards over back and forth so quickly a bystander would think it was life or death. A jack appeared and they both slammed their hands on the card, making all the cards on the bed bounce at their violent attack.

"Dammit!" Gary removed his hand and let Avocato take the cards.

"Come on baby, you are trying aren't you?" Avocato purred and gave him a lazy smile. Gary pursed his lips.

"Of course, it was just a warm up round. I wanted to see if you were paying attention."

Avocato laughed and nodded his head towards the game. "Well maybe you should stop staring at me and look at the cards instead."

"It's hard not to stare." Gary's face flushed as soon as he said it. He looked up to see that Avocato was too focused on the game to have even heard what he'd said.

Gary let out a sigh of relief.

Unfortunately for Gary, Avocato had heard him. He just didn't know what to say in response. He could feel his face burning and he struggled to hide the smirk that so desperately wanted to appear.

He looked back up at Gary and eyed him for a moment. His red tank top dipped with the way he was hunched over, exposing some of his chest. He had an intense look on his face as he started dealing cards. Gary looked up and they made eye contact. Avocato smirked and winked at him. Gary looked back down towards the game, his face cherry red. Avocato laughed slightly as they started the next game.

They continued playing another 3 rounds before Avocato stretched out his arms, showing his defined figure through his black undershirt. His back popped and he groaned.

Gary turned away.

"This has been fun but I'm getting a little tired, aren't you?" Gary nodded slightly. They gathered the rest of the cards and sat them on the nightstand. Avocato moved to stand and Gary grabbed his wrist.

"Where are you going?"

Avocato looked at him quizzically and gestured towards the door. "To my room?"

Gary rolled his eyes and pulled him down onto the bed. Avocato landed beside Gary on the small mattress. It was a tight squeeze, they both laid on their sides facing each other, and there was little room between them. Avocato could feel Gary's breath against his cheeks. In the dimmed room, Gary's eyes seemed to sparkle and Avocato couldn't look away.

"It's a sleepover yo, that usually means you sleep over." Gary annunciated the "sleep over" to get his point across with a shy smile on his face.

"I don't know man, I don't think I'll be able to sleep with you snoring next to me." Avocato looked away with a smirk on his face.

Gary flushed and narrowed his eyes. "I do not snore!" He shoved Avocato's shoulder lightly.

"How would you know?"

Gary glared and ignored him. He then sat up and grabbed the blankets that were by their feet. He pulled the blanket up and threw it over the two of them. Gary laid back down, using his arm as a pillow.

Avocato copied him, except his other hand was placed close to his face.

"How are you doing?"

Avocato closed his eyes and let himself sink into the bed. "What do you mean?"

Gary paused. "With everything."

Avocato shrugged. "I'm getting used to it."

"Well I'm here. If you need to talk."

Avocato smiled, eyes still closed. "You're a good friend Gary."

Gary smiled at the familiar saying. "I would've gone with great." He reached up and held Avocato's hand in his own. "But good works too." He closed his eyes with a small smile on his face.

Avocato sighed at the comforting weight on his hand. He squeezed Gary's hand tenderly. Gary expected to feel that same jolt he gets when people touch him. He expected to feel itchy from being so close to Avocato.

But he felt content. He's never felt this way in someone's embrace before. He felt entirely comforted and safe in Avocato's strong grip.

Sleep came easy after that.