#except for jean of course
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sondheim-girly · 4 months ago
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you mentioned the outsiders musical? Then I'm reblogging it
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found--family · 1 year ago
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they couldn't let cesar and jesse return bc they would've taken one look at dean and cas interacting and known they had it bad for each other
#and sam is just like. oblivious. bc i think that's funnier 😂#meanwhile dean and cas are pining away for each other like the beautiful dumbasses they are..#cesar says to cas all easy and patient and knowing: so how long have you been in love with dean?#and cas is surprised and scared and tries to deny it but overcompensates by saying he loves all of humanity#meanwhile jesse is talking to dean like: what do you mean you're not in love with him dude i have eyes. dean: ??!!#cas @ cesar: i love dean bc i love humanity i love them for all their faults and quirks and beauty.. *thinking about freckles + bowlegs*#dean @ jesse: you don't know what you're talkin bout man! jesse: oh so now you're going to get angry and defensive like that isn't#overcompensating and an obvious tell that i speak the truth. dean: yo-.. shutup!!#cas @ cesar: .. humanity really is quite remarkable and so worthy of love when you think about it. and affection. and praise..#dean @ jesse: --swayze always gets a pass!! jesse: oh so he's on your celebrity exception list? dean: yeh man of course he is.#jesse: mhm. even though he's a guy? dean: ... who HASN'T had gay thoughts!?!#cas @ cesar: humanity should really eat more vegetables and drink less alcohol and sleep more. but this life can be difficult#and habits are hard to change and i will be there to help in any way i can like making coffee just the way humanity secretly likes it..#dean: *frazzled and exhausted as jesse hands him a beer* --i prefer the classics: Say Anything. When Harry Met Sally. Princess Bride..#jesse: *nodding along as they chat about chick fliks* cas @ cesar: i help with humanity's laundry. i once found a pair of jeans#in humanity's room with the legs torn off. i thought something awful had happened during a hunt but humanity wouldn't be able to#regrow his legs without my angelic assistance.. unless humanity met another angel.. *white knuckles the chair in possessive jealousy*#dean: *getting teary as he talks about dory's story* sam: *walking in on cas cracking the chair + dean sobbing into his beer#but taking no notice bc his eyes are on the ipad in his hands* so get this--#destiel#crack#thoughts#😂😂😂😂😂
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99simproblems · 6 months ago
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Kiet's cowboy outfit is done and his horse is sitting is the tray folder. I just need to pick some poses for him and find new tattoos(I imagine him having a neater and more cohesive geometric design).
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dutybcrne · 1 year ago
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As far as the people of Mondstadt are concerned, what happened that night of Diluc's eighteenth birthday in terms of the results of The Confrontation between Diluc and Kaeya, is instead a fabrication that a grief-stricken Kaeya had recklessly tried to clear a domain on his own only to be attacked and hurt by a Pyro Abyss Mage. The only reason he survived was being blessed with his Cryo Vision.
Each and every time the lie is brought up, especially in the Angel's Share, Kaeya feels the urge to find that 'Domain' and lock himself in it.
#hc; kaeya#//Those of the church are aware it was NOT in fact a domain excursion; but he Refused to tell them what it actually was#//Many had/have their suspicions; but with how highly Kae held Diluc; many of them dismissed such concerns#//Lisa; Varka; Jean; and Seamus are the only people outside of the Dawn Winery folks at the time who know the Truth behind his injuries#//And ONLY Varka and Adelinde are aware him being Khaenri'ahn had any part to play in it (Kae's not aware Lisa knows too)#//But Kae adamantly Refused to let Diluc be faulted for any of it. Did everything he could to ensure it#//Definitely made it clear that anybody who acted on it in his name would be someone he'd detest and retaliate against#//Made it clear again when Diluc came back; though Jean had no intentions to#//Was she upset; yes. But with how Kae framed himself and the ordeal; she's torn on how to feel about their fight in general#//She doesn't Know exactly why they fought; Kae keeps saying it was Personal and to 'ask Diluc' if she really wants to know#//But she does know both were definitely hurting that night; and she was only able to really help ONE of them#//Ack; veered off course#//But yeah#//Kaeya will NOT ever willingly tell anyone that Diluc hurt him otherwise; and never ONCE resented him for it; either#//If Diluc himself were to try and take blame; Kaeya would Lose His Fucken Marbles and refute him most avidly#//One of the fastest and Only ways Diluc can actually bring Kaeya to genuine Anger#//Luc can insult and push him away all he wants; can even hurt him again if he wanted to#//But that? No; Kaeya would NOT stand for Diluc taking any blame; even from himself#//HE was the one who pushed Luc; HE was the one who approached him while grieving. Thus HE deserves all the blame for what happened#//That's what he thinks. And no one can hope to convince him otherwise. Except maybe Diluc himself#//But that'd take communication skills and emotional vulnerability that neither are equipped nor ready for as they are#//Whoops; veered again lol#//If Kae out of nowhere brings That up and blames Luc/acts in anger of him for it; just KNOW that smth is up
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toastingpencils37 · 1 year ago
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Bruh, the ninja's aim with the cannon is fucking ass.
Every damn time.
Lowkey also going to vent in the tags for a minute
#ninjago#tw vent#so of course I'm on day 1 of my period (which started yesterday afternoon) (right now I'm on day 2)#but anyways. At 7:40 am I get cramps in my thighs. And they're bad (though maybe not that bad. But I'm a bitch about cramps)#these fuckers stay until 9:26!!! And it was obvious I wasn't feeling great during Periods 1 & 2.#Because I was constantly fidgeting and in Period 2 I was messing around with my hoodie & constantly putting my head down#So anyways Period 2 and my cramps end. Time for break. My FUCKING BRACELETS are missing#Still don't know where they are at time of posting this except that they're at school#And I like these bracelets. to the point where if I find someone wearing them I WILL argue for them#And yeah my mom got them as a free gift from a company she buys from#But I like those bracelets. I'm so fucking willing to full on call someone out for wearing my bracelets#And bring to attention every feature that shows that it's mine. Like the fade marks or whatnot#So anyways. 3rd Period comes and goes. I get up to go and part of my jeans feel wet while I'm walking#like blood just leaked off the side of my pad wet. So I'm fucking walking like I pissed myself trying to get to the bathroom#and lo and behold.... Blood is on my fucking jeans. And it's not the hugest spot but I can fucking FEEL it#So I dry it the best I can (and swap my pad because it was FULL) then head to 4th#Trying to figure out whether I should ask my mom to bring me a pair or jeans. But indecisive because she's also working#So I text my brother. Bro just tells me to fucking decide for myself#So. Not wanting to impose on my mom (especially since I asked her to take pictures of my Stats textbook yesterday since I forgot to)#I just decide to deal with it#Anyways that's all just wanted to get that out there.#Everything's fine now. Except the bracelets. Hopefully I lost them in my 1st Period because apparently they aren't in my 2nd
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t3tr0m1n0 · 10 months ago
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i can't pretend i'm immune to coming away from a story with One Dude who's very particularly special to me but at the very least there's like 85% odds that he ends up transfemme in my brain
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lemonduckisnowawake · 11 days ago
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Ways to Say "I Love You"
ANOTHER FANFIC! Genshin again, but not because my friends are influencing me but because I was inspired by these two fics that probably remain one of my favorite Genshin fics to this day. And I also just like writing these kinds of stories/fictions. And I've had to sift through so much cursed, cursed content to get here (it was self-inflicted, btw. I am the caster and bearer of the curse.)
Nevertheless, I present to you 4 snapshots of 8 characters.
I
“What’s this, Master?” Shenhe says, tilting her head curiously at the new contraption Cloud Retainer—or, Xianyun, she should say—had laid out for her.
It was a cylindrical cannister of metal, with the top part cutting off for a curious mechanism not unlike the pump of a perfume bottle. It looked innocuous enough, and certainly had none of that innovative flair that Shenhe would expect of her master’s inventions.
“This is a device one has recently invented to keep away unpleasant and odious people,” Cloud Retainer explains, folding her arms placidly. “It works not unlike a perfume bottle, but rather than spraying it on yourself, you would spray it on an antagonistic assailant.”
Shenhe frowns at the explanation, taking the bottle at Xianyun’s invitation and shaking it. “There is liquid inside,” she notes.
“Indeed. The liquid within is a concentrated mixture of chemicals extracted from various natural sources, the primary ingredient being jueyun chillis. It is meant to incapacitate an offender for a little while without causing permanent damage,” Xianyun agrees, tacking on a breakdown of the new product. “I call it Jueyun Spray.”
Shenhe nods, still not comprehending. “And you’re giving this to me…? Why?”
Xianyun sighs and looks away. “One had heard of how you were not permitted to wield your polearm to deter difficult people within the bounds of the city, which is absurd. If a person needs a weapon to make their point known, then it is logical to employ such force.” And before Shenhe can agree or protest that, Xianyun adds with resignation, “But that is not the way of human laws, and as we live among them, we should respect them. However, this should be within legal bounds, as it is neither a weapon nor a poison intended to harm or kill.”
“I see,” Shenhe says, shaking the canister again. “Thank you, Master.”
“It is nothing to thank one for, but see to it that you use it well while you work,” Xianyun huffs, continuing to not meet Shenhe’s eyes.
“Of course.”
Neither of them notice the faint smiles that spread across both their faces.
II
"You're overworking yourself again, dear Acting Grand Master," Kaeya laughs.
For once, he's decided to come to the Knights of Favonius headquarters early. And if anyone (Amber) asks him the reason he would do something so out of character?
Kaeya glances at the sleeping figure of Jean, ponytail loose and hair frizzy, curled up in her arms over her messy desk and clearly dead to the world. Just to check that last part, he clears his throat and hovers over the Dandelion Knight.
Yep. Dead to the world.
Given all that, Kaeya has no problem in hoisting Jean up in a princess carry and setting her on one of the sofas. He himself yawns, feeling the exhaustion from staying up late, but decides the thick blanket Albedo crocheted once as an experiment is suited best to cover Jean.
Having carefully removed her hair tie and set her down in a comfortable position, Kaeya busies himself tidying up Jean's desk a bit. And if some stuff disappears to be shoved onto--that is, delegated to someone else?
"I just had some things to take care of," he blithely tells Amber later. "Nothing you need to worry about."
She clearly doesn't believe him, but she doesn't have any evidence to protest it.
And later, when Jean catches Kaeya and silently hands him a bottle with a Dawn Winery bottle on it?
"Oh? What's this for, Jean?" Kaeya will ask.
"Just for being an excellent knight is all," Jean will return with an artfully casual nod.
III
The sound of the mug being placed in front of Kaveh startles him out of his hyperfocus on the sheet of paper in front of him.
He almost complains about losing momentum when he spots blue-gold eyes quirked in something Kaveh doesn't want to call indulgent fondness but can't seem to think of anything more netural.
"You should take a break, you know?" Madame Faruzan tsks at him. "Youngsters these days have it so hard, having great shoes like mine to fill. It's admirable that you're working so hard, Kaveh. But rest is important."
Kaveh blinks owlishly, the words flying past his head. He almost nods and ignores her until he remembers he actually respects and likes the Haravatat professor.
Her words suddenly backtrack to fill his head, and he shakes away the remainder of his fogginess to smile.
"Thank you, Madame Faruzan. But you don't have to trouble yourself on my account, not that I don't appreciate it!" he says, firing off every clause like an alarmed afterthought.
Faruzan tsks again and lightly flicks the top of Kaveh's head. "Well, far be it from me to stop the creative flow of one of my talented juniors, but do rest and ask for help if you need it. We professors like to feel useful, too." Even if Faruzan is strictly not a Kshahrewar scholar.
Kaveh acquiesces amicably, fully sincere in his gratitude, even though Faruzan knows he'll die before asking for help or resting.
Ah, well, Faruzan thinks. She'll just have to check up on him from time to time. Maybe invite him out for a coffee someday. She could use some of his mathematical insight into her latest research...so she'll say and frame it as work to drag Kaveh out of his sketchbook and numbers, in any case.
Seriously, she sighs internally as she walks away to let Kaveh return to his blueprints, these children can be so troublesome.
She glances back briefly and catches Kaveh absently drinking the coffee she'd prepared for him.
When he smiles, Faruzan shakes her head. She's so soft, sometimes...
Ah, well, she admits to no one, I suppose this is fine.
No trouble at all, even.
IV
Sometimes, buried between the sheets of all of Neuvillette's work mail and papers and forms to look over and sign, Sedene would spot a colorful envelope.
Most of the time, it looked quite bulky, as if the sender had stuffed things that would be better sent in a package into the thick paper. Other times, it was paired with an actual package of dubious size and shape.
And all the time, it would disappear by the end of the day unlike the hills of official forms.
Today, the colorful envelope and package of dubious shape is accompanied by a colorful and familiar woman rather than the usual mailperson.
"Delivery for Monsieur Neuvillette!" the woman sings.
Sedene smiles a little. "Hello, Lady Furina. Would you like to come into Monsieur Neuvillette's office? He doesn't seem too busy today."
Lady Furina's beaming visage wavers for a split second.
It's a new look for her, the slight moments where she allows her true emotions to flicker across her face. But as if unused to clearly expressing her feelings, the flicker of "negative" emotion is schooled away swiftly.
To Sedene's Melusine eyes, Furina looks as strange and sorrowful as ever. There's a lighter air to her lately, however, and the dangerous darkness in her has disappeared ever since Fontaine's prophecy had come true.
"Ohhh, that's all right. I'll come bother him another day," Lady Furina dismisses airily.
"It's quite all right if you want to come in," Monsieur Neuvillette says, just having appeared from behind Furina.
Sedene observes Furina almost jumping out of her skin, but she schools it into a startled turn and rather pitched, "Oh, Neuvi - Monsieur Neuvillette! How are you?"
"I'm all right. And you, Lady Furina?" Monsieur Neuvillette replies, ever steady, though anyone who knows him can tell how his face softens and the tension on his shoulders loosens imperceptibly.
"Great! Great. I've actually come to give Sedene these to give to you later," Furina chirps, holding out her colorful mail out at Neuvillette.
Neuvillette takes the ridiculously ribboned lumpy package and envelope with a small smile. "Thank you, Lady Furina."
"Haha, of course. Let me know what you think of them," she says. "Your input is always spot on, you know?"
Sedene feels a mild twinge of curiosity at this and wonders at what the packages contain. But opening mail meant for another would be a horrible breach of privacy.
Monsieur Neuvillette, on the other hand, nods solemnly. "I always do."
Furina returns that with a vigorous set of nods of her own and edges away from the reception desk. "That's all then. Lovely seeing you, Neuvil - Monsieur Neuvillette!" she laughs, waving her hands in farewell. "Thank you again for everything!"
The Iudex does nothing but hum after her in return, a complicated expression on his face as he observes the former archon skip out of the Palais Mermonia. It's only when Furina disappears from sight that he greets Sedene with his ever-constant affection and makes haste back to his office.
Really, Sedene idly thinks to herself as she returns to the day's quota. She can't help but wonder why those two never say what's so clear to her to each other.
No big deal in saying, "I value your opinions and still want you in my life" or "I care deeply about your wellbeing and wish we could talk more."
No big deal in telling a dear friend three simple words.
Right?
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tith · 9 months ago
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random pet peeve: when people feel the need to respond to fashion or hygiene advice with “Let people do what they want!!” and then throw in a comment about how whatever the particular initially given advice was is no longer fashionable… Do you hear yourself? Which one is it?
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fmhobeus · 8 months ago
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so, nerdy loser college boy choso *sighs* *opens legs*
a/n: just so you know, this man is gonna make you do all the hard work for a piece of that loser boy dick 😮‍💨 so... um so at some point around 2000 words in i realised this is way more than a hc post :3 eat it up if you will!
nerdy!choso who borderline has no friends except his gaming buddies who doesnt meet irl like ever. he doesnt like going to classes, especially this one. he doesnt need it but it's a requirement for all first years. and boy is glad it is when he sees you come in.
nerdy!choso who only listens to discussions when you're talking. suddenly he needs to put down his headphones and nod at every word you're saying. his eyes follow every gesture of your hand, every sway of your ass, every single time you fix your hair.
nerdy!choso who is starting to get a bit enamored with you, your style, your way of speaking. he loses track of time gawking at you in class from the last benches as you prettily do all the work in the class. he hates how beautifully your hair falls on your face, how nicely your clothes fit you despite being pretty modest for college. he hates how he can see the silhouette of your tits when you turn to the side. but he's too much of a gentleman to keep looking.
nerdy!choso who ends a game early when he remembers you, lying and saying that he had promised someone to meet them somewhere. the place is his bathroom and the person was you. god, you really shouldn't wear those tight jeans to class y'know? how will he continue to be a gentleman if you do?
nerdy!choso who despises groupwork but prays to dear god this class has some reason to pair you two together. he's getting so desperate to talk to you knowing damn well he too pussy to do it on his own. and the lord answers his prayers, the teacher assigns groups of three for a presentation. it's you, him and some slacking trust fund baby.
nerdy!choso who is about to combust and have a full blown panic attack when he sees you approach him after class with that smile on your face that would make the angels swoon. you're going on about distributing the work equally and what not while he is trying his fucking hardest to not accidently make eye contact with you and piss his pants : (
nerdy!choso who now has your name, your number and your email and he feels like the happiest man on earth. his hands are literally shaking as he responds to your request to call. he's overthinking every word he types.
choso: yeah i can do wednesday. choso: i'll be okay with whatever day you want.
nerdy!choso who hops on video call and short circuits with a view of you in an oversized band tee and a brief view of your room. why did you have to be this pretty? why did you have to video call him when you couldve done the work on text? why did you have to put your hair up like that? why oh why did you have you say "choso? hey, you there?" so seductively to bring him back to the present?
nerdy!choso who gets like no work done in a 30 minute call which felt like three hours. he knew he would hardly be paying attention so decided to record the call with your consent, saying he'd need the notes you were typing out on screen only to play it back and stroke his dick to you for what might've have been the twentieth time this week. his strokes only getting faster as you say his name in that voice he imagines sounds way better moaning and screaming it instead.
nerdy!choso who, after the presentation, is on greeting terms with you when he sees you studying in the library. he sits as far away from you as he can while still being able to see you. occupying the coziest corner of the library to stare at you study right when you come up to him.
"can i join you, choso? i'm all alone and your space seems comfy" you say with a smile, "of course, i dont mean to disturb you, is saw you were on your own too, so..."
uh oh, uh oh, uh oh. god no. please no. please dont say yes. please dont be staring at her like some dumb idiot (too late) please.
"uh... yeah sure why not?" he awkwardly says as he makes room for you to keep your things. he was such an idiot for thinking he could say no to your pretty face in the first place.
nerdy!choso who is absolutely drunk on your scent. it feels way better than any alcohol he's ever had. he feels like an animal in heat when he smells your sugary perfume mixed with the styrofoam-y air conditioned smell of the library. you're gonna kill him, yknow? how is he supposed to respond to this? what is one to do when their stupid college crush sits next to them? he gives you a half smile before furiously typing away on reddit, the only place with answers for losers like him.
nerdy!choso whose hands. oh his hands. (can be i a big whore for a second?) his long hands that feel like they're the size of your face. his kempt, beautiful and trimmed nails. his lengthy fingers that seem to yearn for something more to foddle with than just the keyboard or controller. he typed as such an insane pace it made your pussy ache. he was going so fast, jesus. those hands were meant to do more than just ask "how to talk to girls" on reddit.
nerdy!choso who (on the advice of reddit) asks if you would want him to order something for you. you tell you had a frappuccino not too long ago and that it was quite sweet and filling. and he hates himself for thinking that he could give you something much sweeter and filling than that like a horny fourteen year old.
nerdy!choso who is now determined to not come off as a creep so he does his work with the focus of four adderalls. he is typing as fast as his heartbeat, not realising he got two classes worth of work done in just an hour. he looks over at you, blissfully unaware of the absolute war in his mind.
nerdy!choso who feels as though if he doesn't muster up the courage to ask you out right then and there, he'll probably be the biggest loser on the planet. (as if he wasn't already)
nerdy! pathetic! choso who stutters a million times and barely gets the job done then too. his eyes are scanning your entire being (trying his best to not gawk at your tits) for any sign of discomfort.
"so- uhh so ummm... wo-would you, like, uh... like to do this again? sometime?... i got a.. a lot of work done today, so.."
oh heavens, the sheer nervousness in his tone makes you want to pull his pants down and show him how to really get work done.
you agree with a smile, even suggesting a better, more ambient (more romantic) cafe to study in. choso's heart is about to burst and flood the fucking library with his blood the way it is beating at an alarming rate.
"umm yeah uh 5 sounds... awesome... i hope it isn't a-a bother to you?" "no way, choso. i loved today," you offer him a smile as you gather your things, "i really like your hair, by the way" "i like your hair too, y-y-you smell very nice", he gulps.
fuck. why did he say that? what? you smell nice? who says that? is he like ten? you can't help but giggle at the sheer embarassment on his face.
he feels as though he's gonna melt into a puddle and turn to stone and throw up all at the same time.
nerdy!choso who is the most stupidly hot guy you've ever met, you think as you go giggling back to your dorm. mental note: pick a skimpy outfit for 5pm ;)
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anarchyloser · 10 months ago
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I am losing my MIND at this old wip of my oc Finch and his siblings
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seospicybin · 3 months ago
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THE FUCKBOY NEXT DOOR.
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PART I
Bangchan x reader. (s,a)
Chapters: Part II / Part III
Synopsis: Having issues to break up with your boyfriend, you seek help from the boy next door and the number one fuckboy in the area, Chan. (10k words)
Author's note: I went through a nasty break up a few weeks ago and this is basically just me trying to cope by being delulu about having a fuckboy Chan as a neighbor. Enjoy x
It becomes a habit now that Chan doesn't know where he is when he wakes up in the morning.
The first thing that he'll do is retrace everything to last night. He was DJ-ing at a club, had a few drinks in between, met a girl who was eyeing him the whole night, had a few more drinks, there was a little touching and a quick makeout session in the dark alley and people can guess what happens after that
So this is where he is right now, the girl's bedroom and he can recall everything that happened last night except the girl's name.
"Fuck!" Chan mutters under his breath.
Judging from how bright the sun is outside, he knows he only has a little window to make his escape so he quickly gets off the bed as calmly as possible. He then tiptoes around to gather his clothes and put them on without making any noise.
However, he fails at it as the head from his belt hits the bed frame and the clanging of metal meets metal echoing in the room.
The girl steers on her sleep and rolls over to the side, she brushes her hair away from her face, catching Chan putting his belt on.
The plan to make a quick getaway has come to a failure but he keeps his cool, continuing to buckle his belt and then plants his hands on each side of his waist.
"Morning," He awkwardly says with a forced smile.
"Morning," the girl replies with a smile then props an elbow against the mattress, sending the duvet sliding down her body and exposing her bare chest to him.
Chan might have been a little drunk when he met her but damn, his fuckboy radar works well even under the influence of alcohol.
"You're leaving already?" She asks, flipping her hair to the back to expose more of those beautiful mounds to him.
Chan has to tell his pervy brain to focus actively, he looks away and picks up his jacket from the floor.
"I promised a friend to help him move out today," He lies, then pretends to check the time on his phone, "And I'm kind of late."
The girl nods then twirls her hair around her finger, "Well then... when can I see you again?"
"I hope soon," Chan says with his charming grin that disguises the insincerity in his answer.
The girl smiles at that which confirms that the grin works, "But seriously, I can't wait to see you again," she says.
"I'll call you," he says because that's what he can promise her at the moment but whether he'll do it or not is uncertain.
"But you don't have my numbers yet," she says with her eyebrows wrinkled in suspicion.
"No, I'm sure you already did," he says, convincing her by scrolling the contacts on his phone.
"Yup. I have your numbers already," he lies again, showing her a random contact on his phone for a quick second.
"But my name is Thalia," she says, cleverly catching the name on the contact.
"Yes, of course, you're Thalia," he says with utmost confidence and his ultimate weapon of a dimpled smile.
The girl seems alarmed though. She sits up on the bed and clutches the duvet close to her chest, "We're going to see each other again, right Chris?"
"Yes," he answers without a beat, and at this point, lying is as easy as breathing to him.
"Can I get a kiss before you leave?"
"Sure," he says, coming around the bed to give her a quick peck on the lips.
The girl smiles when he lets go and watches as he walks to the doorway, "I'll call you, Tanya."
"It's Thalia," she corrects him with an apparent displeasure on her face.
Chan shoves his phone into the pocket of his jeans and takes the time to properly bid her goodbye. Nothing a girl likes more than a sweet mouth and a little assurance, he'll give her exactly that.
"I'll see you soon, Thalia," Chan says with a smile.
"See you soon, Chris," and the girl naively believes him, if only she knew that this will be the last time they're seeing each other.
Yet again, Chan makes another successful getaway.
-
The warm weather of spring makes it a pleasant walk from the bus stop to his apartment building. He wants to stop somewhere for breakfast but his head feels heavy from the hangover, he just wants to go home as soon as possible, have a bowl of cereal then take an aspirin for the pounding headache.
In the lobby, he makes a quick stop to collect his mail and takes a quick check at it, sorting them out on the spot so he knows which ones he should bring upstairs.
From the corner of his eyes, Chan catches his neighbor, you with your boyfriend chatting by the elevator. He notices the gestures, the expression, and the whole interaction, it doesn't take a genius to know that something is going on there that the naked eyes can't see.
Chan throws the unnecessary mail into the trash bin nearby and walks to the elevator, hearing the little conversation going on between you and your boyfriend.
"...the waffles were delicious. We should have breakfast there again," the boyfriend says as he looks at you, "What do you think?"
"Yeah," you meekly answer while looking at the little screen that shows the floor the elevator is stopping in.
Chan tries to remain invisible but his eyes accidentally make contact with your boyfriend so he may as well make his presence known.
"Hi, neighbor," he greets, he knows your name but you seem to prefer to be called that way.
You do what you always do whenever you meet each other in the building, give him a quick judging look and a courteous smile.
"And hi neighbor's boyfriend," he greets your boyfriend next.
"Hi," your boyfriend greets back, "Chris, isn't it?"
"Yes and you are Lee," Chan responds.
"Right. So how was your Friday night?" Lee initiates a small talk.
"I believe it wasn't as good as yours," Chan playfully answers.
"Oh, we just stayed in and watched a movie, right baby?" Lee says, putting his arm around your shoulder.
All of a sudden, you take a step forward and say, "It's here."
The elevator doesn't chime until a moment later but you seem to be more than eager to get in. You turn around to give your boyfriend a quick hug.
"I'll try to leave early so we can have dinner together," Lee says with a quick kiss on the cheek.
"It's okay. Take your time," you say with a faint smile.
Chan quietly gets into the elevator and holds the door open for you, he tries not to look at what's happening in front of him not out of politeness but it's just painful to watch.
"I'll call you," Lee adds, catching your hand as you enter the elevator and kissing it.
"Okay," you say then wave your hand at him.
To help you get out of it, Chan releases his finger off the buttons and sends the doors sliding shut.
"Bye, baby," Lee says for the last time before the doors completely close.
It's just another awkward elevator ride with you and he'll usually try to endure it but after watching all that and trying not to say anything is hard, he can't help but impose.
He glances at you to check whether you're ready to hear about what he has to say but you always have the same stoic expression. Then it occurs to him that he has never seen you smile impolitely or out of joy, or even hear your laugh, but maybe after you hear what he's about to say, he'll get to see a different facial expression on you.
"Oh, man! That was painful to watch," he sighs as he keeps looking straight ahead at his reflection in the shiny furnace of the elevator.
There's no one else in the elevator so you're fully aware that he's talking to you but you don't respond until a while later.
There you go, with your judging look and stoic expression, looking at him as you say, "Excuse me?"
Chan doesn't want to sound rude but beating around the bush isn't his thing, he prefers to be straightforward. He knows it's all based on assumptions but he's pretty sure his judgements are pretty accurate.
He's going to just do it and lay out the facts, he turns to the side, then leans his back against the cold surface of the elevator.
"Your shoulder tightens when he called you baby and the fact you lied about the breakfast tells me that you didn't actually like his choice of restaurant," he pauses to let out a cynical chuckle, "the waffles weren't that good, I guess?"
When he wants to see a different facial expression on you, he doesn't mean seeing your angry one, but oh well, the damage has been done.
"Because I'm a good girlfriend that's why I let him choose the restaurant," you become defensive all of a sudden but that's an unconvincing answer.
"No, you let him choose out of pity," he simply remarks, "And just now, your nostrils flared when I pointed it out."
With all of these signs combined with his personal experiences, Chan narrows it out to one conclusion. He looks at you in the eyes and says, "You're about to break up with him, don't you?"
It looks like you've been slapped right on the face except that the slap doesn't come from someone, it's from the truth that comes out of Chan's unfiltered mouth and he instantly regrets it for meddling in in someone else's business.
"I'm sorry, but why are we having this conversation?" You ask, crossing your arms together in front of you.
"It's not like you're any better. You slept around, you're scared of commitment and now, sticking your nose at my business. You are the kind of person that I deeply despise!" You angrily say with your chest heaving.
It seems like you're saying all of those things about him out of anger because he sees right through you but now he knows why you always give him that judging look. He's the one who started it so yeah, okay, maybe he deserves that but that doesn't change the truth. The problem is what he said and your response, they're heading in the opposite direction.
"I think someone has her panties in a twist," Chan coyly responds.
"Look, there's nothing wrong with wanting to break up. That doesn't make you a bad person," he adds and decides to end the talk right there.
It gets quiet in this enclosed space and it's already suffocating as it is but how lucky that he has to patiently wait for the elevator to ride through three more floors to get out of here.
When the elevator finally dings open, Chan lets out a breath he doesn't know he's been holding but he's not the one in a hurry to exit both this space and the situation. He stays where he is and lets you out first.
When he thinks you don't have anything else to say, you stop right outside the elevator and look at him with a piercing gaze.
"Don't, for one second, think that you had any effect whatsoever on my panties!" You emphasize every word in anger, then storm off.
Know what? Maybe Chan should skip the bowl of cereal and take two aspirin instead. As for you, maybe you need to chill the fuck out.
-
Just because you've been neighbors with Chan for the past three years doesn't mean that you know each other on a personal level.
All you know about him is that he's a DJ which explains why there's always music playing in his apartment, he always wears a sleeveless top to showcase his muscles, and he always has a stupid grin on to show off the stupid dimples on his stupid face, an annoying Australian accent and from how many times you caught different girls taking a walk of shame out of his apartment, it's safe to say that he's the number one fuckboy in the area
So how dare he say all of that stuff in the elevator when he doesn't know anything about you at all? Moreover, what does a fuckboy like him know about relationships?
It shouldn't be hard to ignore because it's something you usually do but gosh, the memory of the conversation still vexed you a few days later.
Then it hits you that it bothers you so much because deep down, you know what he said is true. You've been wanting to break up with your boyfriend and hearing that comes from someone outside that relationship only solidified that thought.
There's nothing wrong with your boyfriend, Lee is nice, too nice even, and when you think about it, maybe that is the problem, he is too nice and that leads you to another problem, you don't know how to break up with him without hurting his feelings.
But you know who can help you with that? Someone who has a lot of experience in breaking up with people.
Oh, what a joy that you find the answer right across your door!
Before you get to ask for his help though, you're fully aware that there's another thing to do and there's no other way to do it but walk up to his apartment, knock on his door, and apologize.
As you're standing there in front of his apartment door, you're dreading it. All sorts of thoughts crossed your head like why did you have to be so riled up that time in the elevator? Why did you have to say that thing about the panties? Just why? Ugh!
Let's just get it over with, you mutter inside your head.
With hesitant hand, you knock on his door and then hold the urge to turn around and run back to your apartment. You let yourself take a step back as you wait for him to come for the door.
Do not open the door, do not open the door, you chant inside your head while tapping your foot against the floor. However, things are not always going the way you want.
The door swings inward and a second later, Chan appears with disheveled hair and he only has one arm in the sleeve of his t-shirt, then you spot a girl's shoes next to his feet.
Oh no, please don't say you're coming at the wrong time.
You reflexively take another step back but he grabs your forearm and then opens the door wider, showing you that there's a girl there.
"It's my neighbor, she's here to remind me about the tenant meeting," he says to her.
The girl looks at you rather suspiciously and crosses her arms together in front of her as she glares at Chan.
"No. Don't you dare try to get out of this, Chris!"
"But it's true. We have to leave now," Chan says, then gives you a look that tells you to lie along with him, "Right?"
Running a quick assessment of the situation, you're certain that Chan is trying to get himself out of it to avoid having a difficult conversation with the beautiful lady. You hate to be the accessory to his crime but if this means that it would help you earn his forgiveness...
"The pigeons!" You make up a lie on the spot.
"The pigeons are ruining our rooftop garden so we held this urgent tenant meeting," you add with what you hope is a convincing smile.
"Oh, those damn pigeons!" Chan heavily sighs with a phony expression.
The lie makes your throat dry and your cheeks hurt from forcing a smile, you have to keep it going as the lady considers whether to believe that the tenant meeting is true or not.
Chan grabs his jacket from the clothes hook and puts it on, "We'll continue this later, okay?" He says to her.
Without waiting for her answer, he gets out of the door and drags you with him to go to your apartment. Once both of you get inside, he immediately closes the door behind him and lets out a long sigh.
"Oh, wow!" He exclaims once he realizes that he's inside your apartment.
He allows himself further inside and leisurely walks around your apartment, checking your kitchen, trailing his fingers on your book collection on the shelf, and observing the potted plants lining up on the window sill.
He walks back to the middle of the room and takes another 360-degree look around the apartment, then nods in approval.
"So, this is what the inside of your apartment looks like," he says in a cryptic tone.
Not sure if he wants you to respond to that or if should respond at all. You choose to remain silent and only respond when his intentions are intelligible.
Chan then sits on the sofa, making himself comfortable, and looks at you, then at what you're holding in both hands.
"Is that for me?"
The jar of cookies you've been unknowingly holding in your hands is a token of apology and it is for him.
"Yes, it is for you," you say, handing it to him with both hands.
"I'm sorry about the other day," you sincerely apologize, but you know you have to let him know what you're apologizing for, "for what I've said to you. I'm terribly sorry."
"Well, since you're helping me with the uh... situation," he coyly says as he scratches his eyebrow, "consider us even."
See? That wasn't so hard. You feel bad for lying to the girl but at least, you've been forgiven.
"Thank you," you add with a smile.
Chan doesn't say anything else but opens the lid and takes a cookie out of the jar. He gets comfortable on the sofa, sitting slumped with his legs spreading wide, and then he takes a big bite of the cookie.
It doesn't take long for him to notice that you have something else to say to him other than an apology.
Before he gets to it, you force yourself to start speaking.
"So, Chris..." you call, then abruptly stop talking. You suddenly have a second thought about asking for his help.
"What's up?" He asks while chewing on his cookie.
It's at the tip of your tongue but your mouth feels like they're sewn shut. You clasp your hands together and muster up the courage to just blurt it out.
"Do you want something to have with the cookies?"
You swear you plan on asking for his help but somehow, your mouth saying a different thing.
"Milk would be nice," he answers.
"Milk. Yes, I have milk," you awkwardly say, slowly making your way to the kitchen like a walking dead.
You take a carton of milk from the fridge and while pouring it into a glass, you're scolding yourself for being so cowardly.
After taking a moment to take a deep breath and muster up the courage to ask, you walk back to the sofa with the glass of milk in hand. With a smile, you hand it to him.
"Thank you," he says, his eyes catching something in your eyes.
You immediately break the eye contact and take another step back, standing and watching him finish his third cookie then wash it down with a sip of milk.
"I hope you don't mind that I'm going to stay here until the girl leaves my apartment," he informs.
"Oh?" You meekly gasp.
"But I can leave if you're uncomfortable," he says as he sits straight on the sofa.
"No, it's fine," you shortly reply, "Take your time."
"Okay, thanks," he says, reclining back on the sofa and continues munching on the cookies.
You can't decide if he stays longer than you expected is a good thing or not. You use the opportunity to reconsider it and walk to the kitchen to get out of his sight.
"Do you need help or not?" You quietly ask yourself as you pour yourself a glass of water.
Why is it so hard? He's right there. All you need is to go and ask for his help.
The water sloshes out of the glass as you fill it too full and you reflexively back away to avoid getting water all over the front of your dress.
"Everything good there?" Chan asks in a slight panic.
That's it! Enough time has passed from overthinking it! You walk up to him and just do it.
"You're right," you blurt out, "I've been wanting to break up with my boyfriend."
Sensing that it turns serious, Chan slows down his chewing and puts away the cookie jar. You expect the I-told-you-so grin on his face but no, he looks saddened instead.
"Things aren't working out," you openly share with a sad sigh.
You take a seat on the ottoman facing the sofa and sadly sigh, "I've been wanting to break up with him for a week now but I just don't know how."
"How long you've been dating each other?"
"Three years," you answer.
"Wow," Chan lowly gasps in awe.
Three years is not a short time, he understands why you hesitate to break up and it isn't an easy decision either.
"I need your help," you hopelessly say, unintentionally becoming vulnerable in front of him.
"My help?"
"Help me how to break up with him," you further explain.
"Of all people, why me?" He asks in utter confusion.
It's hard to answer that without being rude, you decide to let him process the question until it leads him to the answer. After a while, he lets out a dry chuckle and nods, "Okay, yeah. Make sense."
Chan takes another minute to accept the fact that his help is needed because he knows how to break up with someone without feeling awful about it afterward.
"I guess you want to let him down gently?"
"Yes," you answer.
"Well..." he inflates his cheeks then lets the air out through his pursed lips, "You can break up with him through a text."
Which part of 'let him down gently' did he not understand? How is it a good idea to break up through a text? But okay, it's just one suggestion, you give him the benefit of the doubt for now. Who knows he'll come up with better suggestions.
"I'm sorry. No, I can't do that," you kindly refuse his suggestion.
"You can send it when he's sleeping," he adds.
Oh, God! He gives you an even worse suggestion instead of better ones. You know what? This is a bad idea and you regret asking for his help.
"I don't—" You stop yourself from talking and get up from your seat.
"I'll just check if the lady is still..." Your words trail off as you walk towards the door and check through the peephole first, then you get out of the door to check his apartment next.
"Hello? Excuse me?" You shout from the doorway but no one is answering you.
You take it the lady has left and walk back to your apartment to deliver the news to the rightful owner of the apartment.
"She already left," you tell him.
Chan lets out a sigh and closes the cookie jar, he finishes the milk to its last drop and then gets up from the sofa.
"Thank you for the cookies and the milk," he says with his signature grin.
"No worries," you reply, trying so hard to hide the disappointment in your voice.
Chan holds the cookie jar in one arm and takes a step closer to you, "if you need help on how to write breakup texts, I'm just across the hall," he says.
You don't respond to that but keep a smile on for him as to seem polite.
"And good luck!" He says with gentle pats on your shoulder.
The second he walks out the door, you collapse onto the sofa and dread it even more than before. Turns out, asking for his help is not helping at all.
The next day, you meet him as you collect your mail in the lobby and it's hard to ignore him when his mailbox is next to yours.
"G'day!" Chan greets you as he leans the side of his body against the wall while sorting his mail.
"Good day!" You respond and hurriedly walk toward the elevator. You push the button to summon it to the lobby and hope it comes soon enough for you to avoid talking to Chan.
Of course, things don't go as you want it. He comes just in time for the elevator about to arrive, he crumples a few letters in his hand into a ball and then tosses it into the trash bin.
"How did it go?" He asks.
"Pardon?" You nonchalantly respond.
Good thing that the elevator chimes open and you can pretend to forget about what he asked you a while ago. You get inside while clutching your mails in hands in front of you but it's not safe yet as you have to share the elevator ride with him.
"So... the break-up texts? Did you do it?" He asks again, going to the corner of the elevator and leaning his back against it.
"Chris, I think you can't just end a three-year relationship with a text," you put it as nicely as you can.
"Yeah, I reckon," he innocently answers.
It seems like Chan can't tell the difference between what is easy and what is right. It isn't a good idea in the first place to ask for help from someone like him who doesn't consider other people's feelings except his own.
"What are you going to do then?" He asks, shifting his weight on one leg.
Since his help is not helping at all, you have no answer to that yet. This should be something you have to figure out on your own in the first place.
"I'll figure it out," you not-very-convincingly answer.
Chan crosses his arms in front of him, making the muscles and veins on his arms more evident under the fluorescent light of the elevator.
"Lee seems like a nice guy," he remarks with a deep inhale of air.
Well, if you have to compare your boyfriend to Chan, then yes, Lee is a really nice guy. Lee excels in a lot of things, including how to treat a person with feelings.
"Yes," you settle with a simple answer.
"A drawn-out break up is only going to end in a big scene," he says, "Just saying."
Chan has a point. It's worse to prolong the pain for both you and Lee, you can't keep pretending that the relationship works and it's unfair that you keep Lee oblivious about all this.
"We can practice, you know," he offers.
"Practice?"
"On how you're going to break up with him," he explains.
He comes up with a better suggestion this time and is almost endearing even but again, he wouldn't know how a person with real feelings reacts to a break-up which makes you unsure if the practice would be any help.
The elevator is about to arrive anyway so you decide to skip on responding to his offer. Once it chimes, the doors part open and you take the first turn to get out with Chan getting off after you. You turn to the left to your apartment while he turns right. You take the key out of your pocket to unlock the door and push your way in while clutching your mail close to your chest.
"You know where to find me if you need help," Chan says just before you close the door to your apartment.
Hard pass, you answer in your head but you put on a smile for his kind offer, then close the door
-
Okay, you admit it. You were too haste when you said that you didn't need his help. You were doing fine for these past few days, you've been avoiding meeting your boyfriend to give you some more time to think of the best way to break the news to him until he calls you.
The phone rings and you just stare at it, considering whether to pick it up or not. If you pick it up, that means you have to lie to him and if you don't, it'll alert him that things are, in fact, not okay.
The latter seems like a better idea so you pick it up after taking a long, deep breath.
"Hi, baby. Am I calling you at the wrong time?"
Not entirely wrong but it would be nice if he didn't call you, you answer in your head.
"Yeah, sorry, I was in the bathroom," you lie.
"Coconut shrimp for dinner. What do you think?" he asks out of the blue.
"That sounds nice," you easily respond.
"I know you'll like it but, babe, do you mind getting us a bottle of wine on the way?
"I'm sorry?" You ask in confusion.
"For our dinner, remember?" he answers, "I'll cook tonight we'll be having dinner at mine."
You hardly paid attention to him because your mind was always elsewhere, you couldn't remember saying yes to the dinner but you did and it must be out of pity.
"No, of course, I remember, I'm just..." you rake your brain to think of something to say.
"I thought it was next week," you lie again with an awkward chuckle.
"You silly!" Lee says, "Aren't you glad that I called, huh?"
"So glad," you lie, again and again.
"I should start prepping the ingredients so they'll be ready when you get here," he says, his voice exuding enthusiasm.
"Okay."
"Don't forget the wine!"
"I won't."
"I can't wait to see you, baby," he sweetly says.
The lies are piling up so may as well add another one to the pile, "Me too."
"I love you, bye."
Don't think you can lie your answer to that, you gulp air, "Bye," you say to the phone, then quickly hang up.
Desperate times call for desperate measures and you don't know your desperate measure means knocking on your neighbor's door. Probably because you hate to admit that you need his help.
Not long after, Chan opens the door and his head pops out from the gap, "What's up?"
"My boyfriend just called and tonight, we'll be having dinner in his place," you blabber in panic.
It takes a second for him to process it then his face turns a little surprised, "What are we going to do then?" He asks in confusion.
You may be in dread but you catch the error in his question, "We? Now, you got your panties in a twist," you tell him.
"Shame on you!" He responds with a sly grin then opens the door wider and shows himself dressed in nothing but a white towel hanging low around his hips.
He puts one arm against the doorframe and leans close to you as he says, "Cause I'm not wearing any panties right now."
You should have noticed it from his wet hair and the beads of water rolling down his neck, and now that you're seeing the whole of it, your eyes immediately following where the beads of water going, they're going down the outline of his abs and eventually, to where they're all gathered as his pelvic bones leading down to one way: down south.
However, your instinctive reaction goes against what you're actually feeling inside.
"Ugh!" You groan and turn to the side, "Put some clothes on and I'll see you at my place!"
Without waiting for his answer, you rush back to your apartment and close the door behind you as fast as possible, then you rest your back against it.
The images of his naked body flashing through your head, his glistening wet pale skin, and how some parts of his body are blotchy red around the neck and chest. You get flustered all of a sudden, you immediately press the back of your hand to your cheek and you can feel them heating.
"Get it together!" You scold yourself.
After waiting for almost fifteen minutes, Chan finally comes knocking on your door like it's a musical instrument.
"Are you dressed?" You ask with your hand on the doorknob.
"Hardly," he jokes.
You peek through the peephole and see that he's already dressed to what you can say is his usual attire of dark short pants with a matching sleeveless top, showing off his bulging biceps. You open the door to let him in and he coyly walks in, treating your place like it's his own, sitting on your sofa with his legs spreading wide.
"Okay, so, why am I here?"
You stand in front of him with your hands clasped in front of you, "I've been lying to him the whole phone call and honestly, I've been doing it since the moment I decided that I want to break up with him, and I... I don't think I can lie to him again."
It's easy to admit your mistakes to him because he barely knows you and his opinions about you won't matter that much to you.
"I need to do it tonight," you hopelessly say.
"I take it you need my help to practice your break-up speech?"
You hate that he guesses it right but it's also convenient that you don't have to beat around the bush to ask for it. But first, you try to explain the situation as much as possible so he has ideas on what you're facing here.
"Lee is a man of many emotions and I'm not exaggerating when I say he'll likely cry," you inform.
Chan's forehead wrinkles as he processes this piece of information then stifles a nod. It seems like he still has no idea what you want him to do about it.
"I think it's less painful if you acknowledge the dumpee feelings," you blatantly explain.
"Okay, I got you. Let's practice!' He says, sitting up straighter on the sofa and then putting his hands on his knees.
It's just a practice but your anxiety takes over you not just mentally but also physically as your palms get sweaty. You wipe them down your jeans and take a breath.
"Lee," you call him by your boyfriend's name, and even though it's weird that you're roleplaying, you continue, "I want to break up with you."
Chan looks at you and gets quiet for a moment, "Wow. I'm in utter shock and it makes me very sad to hear that," he says with a rather serious tone.
Not the kind of reaction Lee would likely pull off but that will do if you decide to continue with it.
"I'm fully aware that this is so sudden but I've been thinking hard about it for some time and I think this is a decision that I should take," you say and you know it's a practice but you feel something caught in your throat.
"I'm sad and I need time to process it, but I'll be okay," he calmly says.
Chan gets the tone right but you believe breaking up wouldn't be this easy in real life, especially when there are real feelings to protect. To be honest, you're not ready to face the truth that you may hurt those feelings tonight.
"I think that went very well," Chan says, returning to his default settings.
"Yeah, I think that's it," you meekly say.
The worries and sadness are drawn on your face that Chan can easily see through your veiled expression, "If Lee is as nice as you said he is, then you shouldn't worry much," he says.
He waits until your eyes meet his to continue, "He may get surprised or shocked even, but he'll come around and respect your decision."
You can't believe that those words are coming out of his mouth or that he even tries to comfort you, but you appreciate it. Maybe his heart is still there, he just doesn't let it control him most of the time.
He gets up from the sofa and walks up to you, he takes your hands, ignoring how cold and sweaty they feel in his, "You got this," he assures you.
"Thank you, Chris," you sincerely say with a sad smile.
It is time to stop torturing both you and Lee with lies and forcing yourself to believe that the love is still there. It's time to accept the truth that if you can fall in love, you can also fall out of love.
-
It's a surprise that Chan worries about things that aren't his business. He's been playing some music to distract him from his head but he keeps the volume low because he doesn't want to miss hearing the sound of the elevator that will tell him any signs that you're back from the dinner.
Eventually, he tires himself out from worrying and falls asleep on the sofa. He startles always close to midnight after hearing the knocking on his doors.
Half disoriented, he trudges his way to open the door and finds you there, surprisingly, looking nice in a white cotton dress and your eyes dry.
But from the way you let yourself into his apartment, forgetting your impeccable manners and walking with shoulders slumped and carrying your shoes in your hands, he takes it that you did it.
"So... how did it go?" He carefully asks, following you as you're making your way to the sofa and then sitting on it.
You let a heavy sigh and your shoulders slumped even more, "At least, there's no crying," you answer with a sad smile.
Chan is unsure of how to react to that, is that a good thing or a bad thing? He just stands there with his arms crossed on his chest, thinking out loud.
"And even though it was ending... it was incredibly meaningful to me and I'm going to miss him," you say with your lips trembling.
Oh, no, Chan knows when a girl is about to cry, he quickly finds a remedy to it, one that he knows always works wonders for him. He runs to the kitchen and brings a bottle out of his alcohol stash, then hands it to you.
"Let's have a drink!" He says, realizing that he forgot the glass.
"Wait another second, I'll get the glass," he says, sprinting to retrieve two glasses from his kitchen cabinet.
When he returns, he sees that you're chugging the alcohol straight from the bottle. You gasp and then wince from the bitter aftertaste of it.
"Okay, straight from the bottle it is," he says, popping onto the sofa next to you.
You wipe your mouth with the back of your hand and then hand the bottle to him in which he wastes not another second to take a sip of it.
"The thing is... I really care about him but he wanted to get married, and I'm just not ready for that," you share with your eyes blank and looking at the void.
You take a deep breath but it seems like it only sends your heart sinking deeper and deeper, and making it harder for you to breathe.
"And if I'm not ready with a guy as great as him then what if I'm never ready?" You say, turning your head his way with your eyes glassy, pooling with tears.
"What if that was it..." you lift your shoulders then drop them as you let out a low sigh, "my one chance at love?"
The tears start streaming down your face like a bursting dam and Chan knows he can't do anything about it but let them out.
Hearing your words makes him think about what his idea of love is. He used to think that it was something he could get whenever he wanted it but now he knows that he's wrong, because that's just a short-lived infatuation, just some sort of meaningless connection.
From you, he learns that love is a privilege that not everyone can experience.
"What if I never get a second chance?" You ask him the question that he doesn't know the answer to.
"I don't know. I'm just sad," your voice cracks, then you break into tears.
Chan is quick to catch you into his arms and offers you his embrace. He knows he can't do anything about this sadness but he can try to soothe the pain, he's placing gentle rubs on your back as you cry into his chest.
The cry is resounding in this space, echoing the sadness back to you and it makes him inexplicably sad too, and he gets the urge to make it stop.
"It's going to be alright," he murmurs at the top of your head.
You look up with your eyes wet and red with tears caught in your lashes, "Is it?" You croak.
He doesn't know when but he knows for sure that time heals everything.
"It will be," he answers with a gentle caress of his knuckle on your wet cheek, "eventually."
Your eyes tell some more assurance for him and he doesn't know what drives him to do it, but he leans in, then kisses you.
To his surprise, you kiss him back and he knows you're doing it because you seek his comfort and he wants to give you exactly that. He wraps his arms around you and pulls you close, giving you that closeness you seek. He kisses you ever so softly because he knows he's kissing a broken heart and he wants to mend it. He can taste your sadness and the bitterness of it, and also the relief underlying all of it. As he kisses you, he lets his heart open just enough to take some of that sadness away from yours.
As the kiss deepens, the sadness withers, and something else emerges. Chan loses in it for a bit until he realizes what you're trying to do with your hand that reaches for the front of his jeans.
He abruptly detaches his lips from yours and shakes his head, "No, we can't do this," he says.
As much as he fancies you enough to have sex with you, he knows better not to do it when you're not in your right mind and your judgments are clouded with sadness. The last thing he wants is you waking up in the morning full of regrets.
"I want this, Chris," you croak.
"No, we can't," he adamantly says and takes your hand away from him.
"You're sad. You do want this," he says in an effort to put some sense into you.
You roughly crumple the front of his t-shirt and pull him close, "I want– No, I need this, Chris," you say to him with your eyes dark like two bottomless pits.
"Please?" You plead as a tear rolls down from the corner of your eye.
This is the most hopeless he ever heard of you and it breaks his heart. You said it yourself, you need this and he knows what you mean by that. You need the distraction, you need him to take this pain away even just for a fleeting moment, moreover, he can't break what's already broken.
He takes your hand off of his clothes and puts it in his, he leans in until his forehead is pressed against yours.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asks once again.
"Yes," you answer without a beat.
That's all Chan needed to hear, he inhales air and puts an inch between your faces. He then tenderly holds your face with both hands and looks at you, unsure where to start but maybe, he can start by making those tears coming out of your eyes.
Chan dabs the tears pooling in the corner of your eyes with his knuckle and without the slightest of hesitancy, he places a gentle kiss on each of your closed eyelids and before you can open them, he captures your lips in a kiss.
Sex is not something new to him but Chan knows that this time is not about physical fulfillment, but a way to offer comfort and hopefully, to also mend your broken heart.
He takes his time to strip away every piece of clothing on you until you're bare, lying on the bed with nothing but sadness that fills your heart.
He touches you with utmost gentleness, using just his fingertips to feel the softness of your skin and you're so pliant, sensitive to his touch.
To make it fair, Chan takes his clothes off as well before joining you on the bed, caging you in between his arms and hovering only inches away above you.
"Touch me," he says to you, taking your hand and placing it on his shoulder.
He then glides your hand down his neck and chest, he makes you feel every inch of his pale skin with him. However, when he looks at you, your eyes remain on his.
"You feel so warm, Chris," you lowly mutter.
He brings your hand close to his mouth and kisses it, then crashes his lips on yours.
The gap between your bodies becomes non-existent as you keep pulling him close, he relents by lowering himself on top of you and props an elbow against the mattress to not put his whole weight on you.
Lips locked, hands around each other, bodies pressed together and the temperature keeps on rising in the room. Chan makes you feel every part of his lips brushing and gliding over yours. He skillfully parts your mouth open with his tongue so he can kiss you deep and hard, yet slow until you run out of breath.
At the same time, his hand makes its way down until his fingers land on your delicate flesh. He touches it tenderly, running his fingers between the folds, and drags them upward to rub on your bundle of nerves.
"Ah..." you moan against his lips as you curve your hand around his neck and pull him incredibly closer.
Judging from it, he knows he's doing it right and he should continue, he applies gentle pressures on your clit, making you drenched and that way, he can slowly put a digit inside of you.
You let go of his kiss to let out a moan and your head falls onto the pillow as he puts another digit into you, two fingers pumping in and out of you.
Chan intently watches as your face contorted along to the pleasure, how your jaws slack open and breathless moans keep spilling out of your parted mouth.
The way you clench around his fingers makes him impatient to feel you and how tight you feel around him, and the noises you make oh, they're his new favorite tune that he wants to keep listening to until his eardrums burst.
He glances down as he pulls his fingers out of you and finds them thickly coated with your essence, it doesn't stop him from shoving them into his mouth and lick them clean.
Chan holds you by the chin to keep you still as he kisses you, "Give me a second to get a condom, yeah?" He says to you and you nod in answer.
He makes his to the bathroom and pulls the drawer open to take a condom. To save time, he decides to put it on right away, he tears through the foil packet with his teeth and rolls the rubber down his hard length.
On the way out, he catches his reflection in the mirror and gets reminded that this is not about him. Tonight, it's all about you.
He returns to the bedroom, finding you still lying in bed naked and hugging yourself. He climbs onto the bed and lowers himself on you, letting you absorb his body heat to warm you.
Craving for another taste of it, he goes down and plants his mouth on your cunt next, tasting you right on his tongue.
You're squirming as his tongue laps over your wetness, drinking in on your essence and then using it to circle on your clit.
He's not the only one getting impatient and asking more of it, you both want it and there's no wasting time anymore. Just before he takes it to the next part, he places a long, tender kiss on your clit and immediately brings his mouth to yours again so you can taste yourself on him.
"I'm going in, mmh?" He says as he endearingly brushes your hair away from your face.
You hold on to his shoulder as he settles himself between your legs, aligning his cock with your entrance but before that, he rubs his length between your folds, lubricating it with your essence.
Your hands fly to your chest, hugging yourself again as you lowly moan to his hard length rubbing over your clit and then, pushing its way into you.
"Goodness fu—" he can't even finish his sentence without breaking into a satisfied groan.
It's just the tip but he can already feel how tight you are around him, he's scared yet excited to push more of him into you. He reorganizes his breathing and rests his hand on your abdomen to do it.
Chan looks down to check and he still has a little more of him that needs to be inside you, he sharply inhales air through his nostrils and pushes the remaining length in one quick push.
"Oh..." you breathlessly moan as you're squeezing on your breasts.
Chan allows himself to take a moment to adjust himself to being inside you and you seem to also need time to adjust to his size because you feel so incredibly tight around him. It makes him wonder how this little thing can take him so well.
He takes your hands away from your chest and puts them around his shoulders, that way he can put his body on top of you, lips locked with yours again in no time as you wrap your legs around his waist, sending him deeper inside you.
As he takes a breath in between kisses, you hold his face and look at him with a different kind of sadness in your eyes which only reminds him that his initial plan is to make it go away.
He starts thrusting into you, wanting to fuck this sadness out of you. He wants to make you think of nothing but how his cock fills you full and how good he is fucking you right now, and soon, he's going to make you feel nothing but immense pleasure.
"Ah... ah... ah..." you moan for every thrust going into you and the skin-slapping sounds echo along with it in the room.
Chan plants his mouth on your breasts to contain his grunts and groans while keeping the steady motion of his hips pulsating against you.
A hand reaches for his chin and forces him to look at you, instantly engaged in eye contact with you. He continues thrusting into you with eyes looking deep into you, they're no longer looking like bottomless pits, they look like deep oases that he wants to dive into.
The next thing he knows, Chan finds himself deep in you, not just physically but also connected with you in a way that he's never experienced with anyone else until now. He feels barer than he already is and instead of shutting himself off, he embraces it and lets you in.
Soon enough, he finds himself lost in it and fully connects himself to you in a way that lets him know how it feels to love without fears or insecurities holding him back, without worrying if it's being reciprocated or not, to love wholly and completely.
"Oh," you let out a broken moan and that's when he notices that you break into tears again.
Chan abruptly stops moving, afraid that something he does is hurting you without realizing it.
"No, keep going, keep going," you tell him with your voice hoarse.
He needs to make sure to continue, he cups your jaw and asks, "Are you okay?"
"Yes, please, keep going, please," You repeatedly nod and plead with your teary eyes.
He wants you to stop crying, he wants you to stop thinking about what hurts you and start to see him as he tries to take this pain away from you. His body picks up the pace, going impossibly fast and also taking himself close to his high.
Your eyes are screwed shut, your breath is ragged and your hands are gripping onto his shoulders, overwhelmed by the pleasure that he brought on you.
The moment he's sure that you already come to your climax, he allows himself to let go and uses all of his strength to give you a few more thrusts until there's nothing left in him but waves of pleasure that wash over him.
"Chris..." you softly call and then pull him for a chaste kiss on his lips, "Thank you."
Chan's face hovers only inches above you as he softly gazes into your eyes, you look so fragile and open like a wound and he's just glad that he can make your heartache gone even just for a while.
"Shh..." he stops you from talking by running his thumb over your lips and then kisses you with his heart wide open. He lets this beautiful feeling pour out of him and into you.
"No, thank you," he mutters his gratitude between kisses.
Thanks to you, he experiences something he's never felt before with someone else, something new, something pure and real, something that feels a lot like love.
When he wakes up in the morning and finds you're not there, it hits him that maybe it is love but Chan is not ready to admit it yet.
-
A week passes and Chan hasn't seen you ever since that night.
He can't tell if you're avoiding him or needing the space and time to piece yourself back from the break-up, he hopes it's the latter. Gosh! Let him be right.
Regardless of what happened, he can live with the fact that you despise him but it would be sad to know if you choose to go down the path of believing that you're not going to find love again.
Chan just needs to know if you're doing okay, that's what matters for now.
Fortunately, the two of you have been neighbors for quite a long time to learn your routine and knockabouts. He knows what you like to do on a Saturday morning, he goes to the lobby and chats with the concierge as he waits.
At the first sight of you entering the apartment building, his heart palpation, and in all honesty, he's just so happy to finally see you after a while.
Are you not seeing him there? Or you're just pretending which only confirms his initial thought that you've been, in fact, avoiding him.
You're walking through the lobby carrying a bag of groceries in your arm, you skip checking on the mailbox and go straight to the elevator. It just happens that the elevator is vacant and the doors slide open after you push the button.
Chan decides to take the risk, sprinting to get into the elevator before the doors close. You already despise him so a little more hate shouldn't be a problem to him.
"Morning, sunshine," He greets you with his dimpled grin.
"Good morning," you politely reply without looking at him.
Things are going back to normal and he should be glad, right? At least, you're back to your usual settings of looking stoic and acting polite, and the best thing about it is you're still talking to him.
"I should learn to avoid people from you. You're good at it," he pushes it a bit just to see if he can crack through this facade.
"Excuse me?" Your head turns his way and with your eyes widen, "I have not been avoiding anyone."
Chan holds the urge to smile for successfully getting your attention and rests his back against the cold, metal furnace of the elevator, "Are you sure?"
"Well, we're seeing each other now," you tell him.
"That's because I know you like to go to the farmer's market every Saturday morning," he says at the same time, admitting that he knows about your routine.
You slowly turn your body facing him and squint your eyes at him, "You've been keeping tabs on me?"
"It's my favorite pastime activity," he shamelessly answers then pokes his cheek with his tongue.
"It's better than watching porn," he playfully adds, something that he knows will annoy you the right way.
"Ugh!" You groan as you look straight ahead.
Oddly enough, that's what he misses the most about it, interacting with you and seeing your reaction to his antics, but you, especially.
"Don't be so uptight," he coyly says.
He takes a step closer to you and puts his hand on the handlebar, "it's not like we haven't slept together or anything."
You let out a scoff and hoist the strap of your grocery bag higher on your shoulder, "I'm shocked you even remember," you say.
You turn your head next and your eyes immediately lock in a gaze with him, "I figure I'm just a low notch on a very long bedpost," you add.
"Are you calling me a man whore?" Chan says, feeling offended.
You take a step closer to him and daringly stare back into his eyes, "I didn't call you a man," you answer with a sly smirk.
There's a few seconds of silence until Chan realizes what you just said to him but you know what? He's going to give it to you, for now.
He looks at you and smiles, "Touche!"
You both look at each other and at the same time, burst into laughter, and it keeps going until the hilarity subsides with each passing second.
Is this real? Did you just poke fun at him with a beautiful smile on your face? Did you really laugh and the sound of not only echoing in this enclosed space but also in the back of his mind? Did he just see a different facial expression on you? Either way, he likes it and he likes how it makes him feel.
The elevator chimes open and soon, the doors part open. He lets you get off first and then takes his turn after, he gets a little disappointed as you both are going in the opposite direction.
"Hey, Chris," you call as he's only a couple of steps away from the door of his apartment.
His heart palpation again but he keeps his calm and then slowly, turns on his feet to face you, "Yes?"
"I'm cooking curry for dinner and I know it'll be not as good as the one you always ordered but you can come and..." your hand is fiddling with the strap of your grocery bag as you speak but your eyes remain steady on him, "see if it suits your taste."
And did you just invite him for dinner? Him, the neighbor you despise so much?
Chan acts coy and scratches the back of his head, he holds the urge to answer right away. He has a reputation to uphold and he reckons, you have to at least wait a minute for his answer.
"Yeah, okay, let's see," he nonchalantly answers but his smile tells otherwise.
You crack a laugh and nod, walking to your door with the keys jangling as you're unlocking it.
Chan thinks that's the end of it until you call his name again, his heart leaps this time and he almost flies his way to you.
"Yeah?"
"Don't worry, I'm not going to ask you what are we," you say with a smile then get inside of your apartment.
That's funny because, after that night, he was hoping that you would ask him that as most girls do but that's where he is wrong, you're not most girls, you are his neighbor whom Chan is secretly in love with.
-
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dutybcrne · 1 year ago
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For Kaeya, people who are exceedingly sweet, even naturally so like Barbara, absolutely make him severely uncomfortable. He can deal with people who possess sharper attitudes like Rosaria and Diluc just fine, and is alright with those Jean and Lisa who know to scold and rein him back when needed, but someone he percieves to be too kind always set him on edge.
#hc; kaeya#//Of course their are exceptions#//Like Klee#//He can bear with her sunny disposition bc she is just a bab#//The world hasn't hurt her yet; and he will do anything to protect her sunshiney smile#//With folks like Barbara or even Noelle though; he's disconcerted by the seemingly unconditional kindness they offer him#//In some cases like with other people; he will highly Doubt it's truly so; and be On edge the entire time#//In those two's case; it just feels WEIRD being cared for so kindly. Esp with what secret he's holding#//Doesn't feel like he deserves it; and sometimes; the care even feels invasive and suffocating enough to make him panic a bit#//He can't stand that#//Couldn't stand it from Jean for days after Diluc fought him and left; still can't stomach her approaching to talk about That Time#//Will outright RUN from her if she tries; even if it had been bc she tried to reassure/help him#//ESP bc she tried to reassure/help him#//Lisa's flirting was a-ok by him bc it didn't feel too cloying; then having her around and getting to know her was more comfortable#//And got him used to her brand of care#//He does want to be treated kindly and sweetly; but when he gets it; he doesn't know what to DO with it#//Even from Addie. He wants her affection especially; but when he gets it/gets doted on; he feels guilty about it#//like he's not SUPPOSED to have it. A lot of what Diluc yelled That Night; and just what HAPPENED really stuck with him#//Traveler throws him for a loop; bc they ARE too kind. But also Snark at him. So it's a mishmash of emotions with them#//With Jean; at least he has a professional barrier he can file her kindness under#//Traveler? Nope. They are friends. They are travel companions; they are besties; co-conspirators#//They make his stomach flipflop about and his heart lurch and leap#//They are so very dear to him; only they could send him into utter Turmoil; then ease it in one conversation
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msgexymunson · 8 months ago
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The Ink Shop
Description: Desperate for a job, you answer an advertisement not knowing it's a tattoo shop. It's not particularly difficult work, except for one thing: having to deal with Eddie Munson. 
Warnings: NSFW, minors DNI or I'll tell your parents, fem reader, thick sexual tension, angst and smut. Fingering. 
A/N: I finally wrote it! The teach me fic I've been day dreaming about forever. This will be part one of three, and honestly this is one of the hottest things I've written. If you enjoy it, please comment and reblog, it means the world to me. 
8k words
Masterlist Part 2
Screwing your nose up in confusion, you look at the meticulously cut snippet of newspaper neatly attached to your resume with a paperclip. Sure enough, receptionist and administrator wanted for a place called ‘The Ink Shop’. 
The outside of the building looks a little bleak, all decked out in black with frosted windows, but the fading lettering above does indeed spell out ‘The Ink Shop’. 
Weird. This does not look like a printers. 
You smooth down a minor wrinkle in your white shirt and open the door with unsure hands, the bell above ringing out loudly. 
Oh. 
This is not a printers. This is a tattoo shop. 
The thought hadn't even crossed your mind. The noise is a cacophony of buzzing, rock music and loud conversation. Art hangs on every available wall, the wallpaper underneath a royal purple, faded over time. There's frames upon frames of predesigned pieces for people to choose from, and an enormous wooden counter, black and gouged with use, directly in front of the doors. 
Taking a confidence boosting breath you march forward, pencil skirt stretching and heels clicking on the black and white linoleum, and stand by the counter. No one seems to have noticed your arrival, and a polite cough is not going to cut it. 
“Hello?” Calling out to the shop, a devilishly handsome tattooed man in a ripped band shirt, black jeans and scuffed army boots turns his head. Loose dark curls escape a low bun and swivel with him, framing his animated face. He saunters over to the counter and towers over you, giving you an appraising look. 
“You old enough to be in here sweetheart?” He asks, amused, as he points to the sign on the wall that states ‘Strictly Over 21s, no exceptions’. 
“Yes?” You're trying to be confident but it comes out as a question, entirely taken aback by the strength of his stare. 
“Oh, well then I'm Eddie,” he holds out a hand and you're forced to reach up to shake it, but to your surprise he doesn't let go. The skin is rougher than you thought it would be, and absolutely covered in small tattoos. “What is it today? Let me guess, cover up an ex boyfriend's name? I can help you forget all about him.” 
The grin he shoots back is nothing short of predatory. All you can think of is that old childhood song, never smile at a crocodile…
“No, no, I'm here about the job?” 
He looks genuinely surprised, taking in your outfit in another flagrant stare. 
“Really? You?” 
“Yes, me.” You respond, cheeks flushing in annoyance. 
“Hey, Mac!” He calls over his shoulder and a big guy with a shaved head lowers his tattoo gun, glancing over at you both. “This girl's after a job?” 
Mac stands up slowly and begins to walk over. 
“You can let go now princess.” 
Staring at Eddie dumbfoundedly, you realise his grip on your hand has softened completely. Whipping your hand away, you flash him a defiant eye. It's ineffective; he merely grins wider and winks at you, poking his tongue out playfully. You see a hint of silver, a tongue piercing. 
“Hey there, I'm Mac, the owner.” another handshake, but gentler and brief. You introduce yourself and go to hand him your resume. 
A phone rings on the counter and Mac shouts “no!” just as Eddie picks it up. 
“Mac’s Roadkill Café, from your grill to ours.” Eddie delivers the line as smooth as silk, never taking his eyes off you. “Yeah, it's Eddie, of course. Oh, I'll tell him. Thanks.” 
As Eddie turns to Mac he's given a small but effective slap to the back of the head by Mac. 
“What did I tell you, stop answering like that!” 
Eddie just grins wider and looks at you again, a fake pout on his full lips. 
“You see that? Harassment in the workplace. Wanna kiss it better?” 
Mac shuts his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose, then turns to face you again. 
“Are you immediate start?” 
“Er, yeah. I've got my resume, and references here-” 
“Listen Miss, if you can read and write, answer a phone, and put up with that-” he says, gesturing a thumb at Eddie, “then you've got the job.” 
Thank God, two of those references were your best friend with different names. Stunned, you just nod fast.
“Great. Tomorrow morning. We open at 10am.” 
Saying goodbye, you turn to exit, and risk one final glance over your shoulder. Eddie's still at the counter. A disarming wink, and then the door shuts behind you. 
********************
So, not exactly what you expected, but a job's a job. After getting a degree, you'd assumed doors would open, but a string of coffee houses later and here you are. You'll take it. 
It's 9:30 am, and you stand outside, wondering whether or not to try the door. Keen, but not too keen. It's a line you're trying to toe without much experience, especially with an establishment like this. 
A pretty woman with an undercut and a butterfly neck tattoo stirs you out of your calculations. 
“Hey, I'm Chloe. You're the new girl, right? Eddie bet you'd be early.” 
Blushing at the entirely accurate first impression, you try to stop your nose scrunching in distaste. As if reading your mind, Chloe chuckles.
“Ah, don't worry about him, he's an idiot. Come on, I'll show you the ropes.” 
Chloe is the piercer that basically rents a place in the shop, where she's been for around three years, she explains. There's also Julio, who does more realistic tattoo work, and Miranda who works part time. 
Chloe turns out to be warm and welcoming, showing you how they book clients in, how to take payments, and the phone note system. It's straightforward work, stuff you'll master in no time. In fact, you feel comfortable enough by 10 am to sit at the counter on your own.
Mac arrives on time, giving you a quick check in and taking down all your information on a yellow legal pad. 
“Do you not have a computer in here?” you ask, genuinely puzzled. 
“Oh no, not yet. I don't know how to work those things, Miss.” Mac chuckles, and gets to his station to prepare for his first client.
At 10:45 am Eddie walks through the door as if he owns the place. 
Your eyes widen at his brazen lateness, but no one seems to bat an eyelid. It boils your blood; to be that disrespectful and clearly not care. How could someone act like that? 
“Hey princess, didn't think you'd come back,” he smiles, reaching for your hand. 
Oh I'm not falling for that again. 
You pull your hand into your lap, expecting trickery from him. A smug grin smears across his face at the gesture, as if he knew you'd do that. It makes you even more annoyed. 
“Eddie, the book says you start,” you say, flicking through the tome in front of you, “ah, at 10 am today.” 
“It's walk-in Wednesday sweetheart. There's no one here.” 
He's got a point. Chloe had explained the tattoo artists work a shift of Wednesdays, someone is always available for walk-ins for small and pre designed pieces. Today is Eddie's turn, and he's right, no one is here. 
“Well, there could have been,” you snark back, folding your arms. 
He crosses into the shop, pushing the little gate open and stands next to you, arms crossed. The height you had is now lost, forcing you to look up at him. 
“As far as I know, you ain't the boss of me. I suggest taking the stick out of your ass before you come here.” 
Mouth falling open in outrage, you move to reply but he's already turned away. 
“Oh, and princess, there ain't a dress code.” 
He's gone, disappearing upstairs. Blushing crimson, you cross your arms as if you can hide the conservative outfit you're wearing. 
You're beginning to see why Mac asked if you could put up with Eddie. 
********************
Halfway through the day, you realise just why Mac puts up with Eddie. 
“Hey! Seeing if I can book with Eddie?” 
“Any appointments with Eddie?” 
“Just checking to see if Eddie had any cancellations?” 
It seems most calls are about him. As you check his schedule, it's not only fully booked for the next 6 months, they've even started a waiting list at the back. 
“Any walk-ins?”
The words next to your ear make you jump bodily, almost losing your place on your chair in alarm. 
“You scared me! No, I would have said,” turning to him, you're sucked into those deep brown eyes once again. “Why do you do walk-in Wednesdays if you're so… so popular?” 
Eddie flashes a smile at you, full of self importance. “I don't know sweetheart, Van Gogh wasn't made to doodle!” Shouting the last part at the back of Mac's head, he turns to you. “We just divided the shifts, so it was fair, that's all. Why, want a tattoo?” 
You roll your eyes. “No, I was just wondering.”
“Do you have any, princess?” 
“Not that it's any of your business, but no, I don't.” 
The laugh that rips from Eddie's chest is hearty and full of amusement. 
“You work in a tattoo shop and you don't have any? That's practically blasphemy!” 
The little bell above the door rings, and a nervous guy looks around before walking in. Before you see what he wants, you shout to Eddie's retreating back. 
“Van Gogh was only famous after he died, you know!” 
It's a little later on in the day; you've done a stock take, ordered more ink, and neatened up the consent sheets three times. The phone hasn't rung in a while, and you're bored out of your mind. 
Chloe walks over, coat in her hand. 
“Hey, how you getting on?” 
“I'm good, just bored.” 
She laughs, “it's not always this quiet, mid week and all. Mac's done for the day, and I'm heading off. You gonna be OK?” 
You glance over to Eddie, who to your surprise is tattooing his own fingers. 
“What, with the untrained monkey? I'll live.” 
She laughs harder at that, “he's not so bad, once you get to know him.” Lowering her voice, she whispers, “he's good at some things, you know.” The conspiratorial wink fills in what she isn't saying. Cheeks flushed, you gawp at Eddie and back at Chloe. 
“Huh? W-what, are you like, an item?” You ask, entirely thrown. 
“Oh no, he's not exactly boyfriend material. It was just one night, but bloody hell. Anyway, it's not like that anymore, we're just friends now. Maybe you two should just, you know.” 
A blush floods your face, almost reaching the roots of your hair. “I don't- I don't, do that.” 
“I'm just saying, it's an option. It'd stop the bickering at least. I can sense the tension from all the way over there.” 
Without a further word, she leaves you sitting on your stool, trying to remember how to breathe. 
Right, let's just play nice. 
Walking over to his station, you try to glimpse what he's tattooing. 
“I thought Van Gogh wasn't made to doodle” you quip, trying to keep it light. 
“This is different” he responds, not looking up at you.
“You know, that's a waste of a needle.” 
Eddie turns the machine off and rolls his eyes at you. 
“Who made you Princess of the Needles, hmmm?” 
“Mac did actually, when he asked me to check the stock,” you reply hotly, folding your arms. Stopping for a second, you take a breath. Play nice, you're supposed to be playing nice. 
“Sorry, I didn't mean to-” 
Eddie turns the machine back on and continues with his impromptu tattoo. 
“Can't you just be… professional?” You ask over the buzzing. 
“Can't you just relax for a second? No ones here. Fuck, you need to get laid.” 
Mouth dropping open in shock, you grab your bag and stomp out of the store, anger fuelling every step. 
********************
Right, be calm, put together. You've dealt with worse people. 
It's true. At the coffee shop you had on edge caffeine addicts shout in your face almost on a daily basis, but none of them got under your skin like Eddie did. Then again, none of them had spat truths like venom in your face.
Breathe. Just breathe. 
Taking the leap, you walk into the shop, coffees and a tray of donuts in hand; a small peace offering. To your surprise, he is already at his station, sorting through ink pots. 
You make quick work of handing out coffee and donuts to everyone, until you reach his side. There's plastic wrap around one of his fingers, you assume from his little tattoo session yesterday. It only serves to remind you of how tetchy you were. 
“Morning Eddie.” 
“So you came back. Tough little princess ain't ya? Remove the stick from your ass yet?” The grin he flashes you is wide but there's a bite to his words. 
He's trying to rile you up, but you ignore it, thrusting a coffee at him. 
“I'll be nice if you will.” 
Tension laces the air as he stares at your outstretched hand, but he takes the coffee. 
“I'm sorry Eddie.” 
Opening the box of donuts, you gesture for him to take one. He does, stuffing half of it into his mouth. 
“What about you?” you ask.
“Huh?” He mumbles through a mouthful of crumbs. 
“Are you sorry…?” 
“What for?” 
Setting your jaw, your hand is about two seconds from slapping the shit out of him, but you need the money. So, you huff and walk away. 
“What did I do?” He huffs, shouting it to the shop. 
“You should just say sorry, you've clearly upset her.” Chloe calls over to him, a slight smile on her face. 
“Yeah, how do you know?” 
“You upset everyone Eddie.” She laughs, and stands to greet her first client. 
It's a tense kind of day, with neither you nor Eddie backing down, only speaking to each other if absolutely necessary. By the time everyone's left it's just you and him again. 
He's finishing up with a client, telling them about aftercare as they gush about their new ink. It's difficult to deny, the guy is talented. This phoenix tattoo looks like it's popping right off of the skin, the flames so bright and detailed you could swear you saw them move. 
Once they've left, there's an awkward pause. Eddie breaks the silence first. 
“Listen, I'm sorry sweetheart. I shouldn't have been rude to you. So I'll make you a deal. I'll give you a tattoo, for free, and we ask each other questions, get to know each other. What do you say?” 
Smiling in spite of yourself, you turn to face him. “And why would I want a tattoo?” 
He visibly relaxes at your grin, and flashes one of his own. “Come on, I'm the best. I promise I'll be gentle.” 
“We close at six, so it'll have to wait.” 
Eddie looks at the clock, and bobs his head with each tick. Twenty seconds later he turns to you, eyebrows raised.
“Fine, I suppose it is a bit silly to work in a tattoo shop with no ink.” 
He punches the air with glee, forcing you to smile despite your better judgement. 
“Well then, what are you thinking, got any ideas in mind?” 
“I want a heart on my hip” he groans, putting his face in his hands, “hang on, before you judge, I want one like this.” 
Pulling a book from your bag, you turn to the page neatly bookmarked. It's an anatomical heart from a textbook you own, a line and dot drawing.
“Oh.” Eddie's eyes light up, “that's pretty metal, actually. So, you just happen to have this on you?” 
“No, I've been thinking about it for a while. It's… not what people would expect. And when I got the job here, I was working up the courage to get it. Carrying around the book was a promise to myself, I think.” 
He busies himself with getting a stencil ready, the drawing supplied speeding up the process. 
“Right, climb on up princess, show me where you want it.”
Blushing, you unzip your skirt at the back and roll it down slightly, shifting your blouse up high. The smile Eddie gives you is salacious, but he doesn't say a word. 
“Right here?” Softly his fingertips graze you, making you jump. That simple act crackles over your skin in an electricity unknown to you. 
“Y-yes,” you practically whisper it, face crimson. 
“So, questions. Can I go first?” 
“Sure” you nod, feeling vulnerable flashing this much skin. 
“OK,” he starts, pressing the stencil down, “I'll start with an easy one. How old are you?” 
“23.” 
He nods, prepping the needle, “your turn princess.” 
“How old are you?” 
“Ah, copycat,” he grins, testing the gun, the sudden noise making you jump, “I'm 30 sweetheart. I know, I look younger.” 
Act younger is more like it. 
“I'm gonna start, you still alright?” 
“Uh huh.” 
“Atta girl. It'll feel like a scratch.” 
He leans forward as his words burn your insides. Atta girl? Part of you wanted to tell him you're not a fucking horse, but another, deeper, part keens at the praise, kicking it's feet and twirling its hair like some dizzy schoolgirl.
The needle touches and you jump, but it's fine. It's easy. If anything, it's rather nice? You gasp at the feeling, your feet wiggling. 
“Right, next question. Why here, why this job?” 
The gun is moving across your skin, consuming all rational thought. You could lie, but a part of you feels like he'd know somehow. 
“I thought it was a printers shop, or a copy place.” 
He laughs briefly, but continues to focus on your new ink. 
“I knew it. Pretty, innocent thing like you, wandering into this den of depravity? Too good to be true.” 
Glazing over his comment, you think of a question to ask. 
“How did you start working here?” 
Eddie scoffs and turns off his machine for a moment, “you need to get creative, stop using my questions.” 
“I really want to know!” You say, meeting his derisory look. 
“Fine, quid pro quo and all that shit. Been here seven years. I begged. I begged Mac for an apprenticeship everyday for a week. He gave in, and here I am. Ask something else, that was boring.” 
You wrack your brains, trying to think of something original, far too aware of the steadying hand that he's pushing onto your abdomen. 
“What band is that?” 
It's the only thing that pops into your mind. He follows your eye line to his t-shirt. 
“Oh this? This is my band, Corroded Coffin. You should come see us sometime.” 
“Oh, what do you play?” 
His face lights up, “I sing, and play guitar. That's why my fingers are so rough-” he holds one up, covered in black latex, “-oh yeah, gloves.” 
After you both share a chuckle, there's a breath of quiet between you, except for the sound of the tattoo gun.
“My turn,” he says, smiling at your hip, “I gotta know, are you a virgin?” 
It's a miracle that he's as responsive as he is, since the question knocks you sideways. You sit up in shock, but he's already moved the needle off and away. 
“You can't just ask that, it's… it's rude!” you splutter, face glowing red. 
There's no trace of apology on his face. In fact, his grin only widens with your reply. 
“I thought so. Don't worry, I'm not gonna tease you about it.” 
Laying back down, you try to think of something to say, but it just doesn't arrive. He can read you like an open book and it's deeply unsettling, not to mention embarrassing. 
“Your turn princess.” 
“I don't want to play anymore.” 
“Oh come on, I'm being nice! Ask me something.” 
“Fine. What was your last wet dream about?” 
To your dismay, he smiles yet again.
“You, sweetheart.” 
Huffing, you cross your arms in annoyance. “Fine, don't answer.” 
He's focusing on your tattoo, tongue poking out in concentration, “I'm nearly done, then you can go back to hating me.” 
“I don't hate you. I've never hated anyone,” you respond in truth. Eddie's eyebrows raise, but he remains focused. 
“Really? You must have had a much better childhood than mine.”
It's quiet for a bit. You're not sure how to respond to that, feeling the cloud of his memory hanging thickly in the air between you. 
“All done.” 
“Huh?” 
He chuckles and points at your new ink, “take a look.” 
It's beautiful. All line and dot work, like it was pulled from the book itself and glued to your hip. 
“It's amazing Eddie. Thank you.” 
The grin he shoots you is warm as he wraps your new ink and then removes his gloves. “No problem. I'll lock up, the sheets on aftercare are right there. But you knew that.” 
Smiling affectionately, you take one and stand up, hovering for a second. 
“Eddie what do I owe-” 
“-not a damn thing. See you in the morning, princess.”
********************
The next few days were much more pleasant. Eddie was flirty, yes, but he seemed to understand when to stop. You had been nicer to him, biting back on the comments when you could. There was a rhythm to it, a constant dance of him flustering you and you annoying him. 
Things really felt like they were falling into place. Until Eddie decided to cross the line. 
Walk in Wednesday again, and the shop was dead. Julio was on shift, sitting in the back having a nap. 
“Hey Mac, can I ask you something?” 
“Sure, what is it Miss?” 
“Well, how do people know about our Wednesdays?” 
“Mostly word of mouth. We handed out flyers before, but it didn't really pick up. Honestly, I'm thinking of scrapping it.” He shrugs, taking a sip of coffee. 
“Before you do, I have an idea. I can design some flyers, get them out to the coffee shop I used to work at. It's by campus, I'm sure a few students would jump at the chance. You could offer a student discount, get them in the door?” You stare at him wide eyed, hoping he likes the idea. The little speech was one you'd practised about fourteen times before actually saying it to him. 
He stares at you for a moment, then smiles. “You know, that's a good idea. I like it. Tell you what, you make it a success and I'll give you a raise.” 
“Oh, thank you! I'll get on it.” You beam, and start planning the flyer. 
Ten minutes later you have your head down, your attention entirely on the paper in front of you. The noisy shop was purely a background soundtrack, including the approaching footsteps. Then, there's a whisper, directly in your ear. 
“What you up to, princess?” 
“Fuck!” 
You scream it out and jump so high you fall off your stool. Eddie's in bits, laughing so hard he's clutching his stomach. 
“I'm sorry I didn't mean to,” he says, looking the least sorry you've ever seen a person look. 
Clambering off the floor to berate him, your mouth flops open when you hear a rip. As you desperately turn your head to look down, you see where your pencil skirt has torn right next to the seam nearly up to your ass. 
“Fuck's sake Eddie! What the hell am I gonna do!” 
Hands shaking, you clench your jaw in panic, trying to frantically come up with a way to rectify it. Eddie holds his hands up to you as if he were approaching a wild animal. 
“Just calm down princess, it's only a skirt.” 
Pouting, you hit him on the arm. 
“It's not just a skirt! I can't work like this, how can I go home and change, I won't be able to fix it and-” 
Eddie smiles and holds one of your hands. 
“It's gonna be OK, we can sort something out. You seriously need to chill, have a big O or something.” He chuckles, clearly meaning for it to be a joke, but it's hitting too close to home. 
It's never happened for you. You've kissed guys, sure, but whenever they reach into your pants, it's either uncomfortable or downright painful. Even your own desperate fumblings haven't got you there. Most of the time you just feel stupid and awkward trying to touch yourself. So, you'd given up, thinking you're broken. That it'll never happen for you. 
Tears well immediately in your eyes. He knows he fucked up, it's written all over his face. As he opens his mouth to speak you rip your hand from his grasp and run to the restroom sobbing. 
It's stupid, it's so stupid. You know that, but the tears won't stop falling, face hot and scrunched as you sit on the closed toilet seat with your head in your hands. Your breath is heavy, gulping and wet; you dimly wonder if you can just stay here until the shop closes.
There's a gentle knock on the door. 
“Sweetheart, can I come in?” It's Eddie, voice softer than you've ever heard it. 
“Go away” you manage. It's shaky and pathetic sounding, but it's out there. 
“I'm not going anywhere. Talk to me, you'll feel better, I promise.” 
He tries the door, turning the handle before you get a chance to lock it. Jumping upright, you go to push him away but he grabs your wrist and pulls you into him. His embrace takes away that edge and pretty soon you're just sobbing into his chest. 
As he strokes the back of your head, he makes shushing noises, his other arm wrapped tight around your shoulders. You're not sure how long you stay like that, in the warmth of his hold, his body pressed against yours. The tenderness calms you down until your tears stop, but he doesn't pull away. 
After a while, he whispers, “feel a little better?” 
“Y-yeah,” you say, voice returning to itself. 
Only then does he release you, rubbing a thumb under your eye to wipe moisture away. 
“I didn't mean to hurt you. You wanna go somewhere and talk about it?” 
“I- I've never- I don't talk about- I-” you shake your head as if to clear it. A part of you wants to hit him, to shout at him, but his gaze is so concerned that you agree. Your shoulders slump, losing a bit of tension. “OK.” 
Smiling at you, he whips his flannel shirt off, leaving him in a white vest, and ties it around your waist. 
“For your modesty. Come with me.” 
Puzzled, you follow him out of the bathroom and back into the shop where Mac is sitting looking worried. 
“What's going-” 
Eddie interrupts, “emergency late lunch needed, alright? Can you cancel my 3 o clock?” 
Mac seems confused, but looks at Eddie's earnest face, and your emotional one, and nods. 
“Not a problem.” 
“Thanks, man.” 
Before you can ask where you're going, he pulls you from the shop by the arm and across the street into a dimly lit bar, depositing you in the nearest booth. 
“I'll be right back.” 
If he's uncomfortable by his appearance, he doesn't show it. The way he strides up to the bar, it's as if he owns the place. It's remarkable, the sheer confidence he embodies like a second skin. 
“Hey, John!” He hollers, knuckles knocking on the wood of the bar. 
John appears, a gruff, stocky guy with a buzz cut and a sour face. 
“What the fuck are you doing here.” 
“Oh come on, you know you missed me.” 
John's face screws into something akin to a smile. “What do you want, you little shit.” 
“I love it when you talk dirty,” Eddie grins and winks, “two beers please.” 
A grunt and a nod, and John puts the beers down on the bar. As Eddie reaches for his wallet John waves a hand in dismissal. 
“Put that away boy, your money ain't good here. Besides, your lady friend looks like she needs it.” 
You flush and tear your eyes away, embarrassed. Eddie walks back over and puts a beer in front of you. 
“Eddie, we're still working I-” 
“It's one beer. It's alright.” 
You shrug and take a sip, nodding at the bartender, “he knows I'm upset, do I look a mess?” 
Shaking his head so hard it releases some of his wayward waves from their confines, he tips his beer at you, before he takes a long chug. 
“No,” he says enthusiastically, “you look just as pretty as you always do.” 
Scoffing, you turn your eyes downward. Eddie ignores your response, instead pressing on what happened earlier. 
“Sorry again,” he says, sounding genuinely distressed, "I don't want to see anyone hurt from something I said, least of all you.” 
Meeting his gaze, you smile incredulously. “Oh? And why me?” 
“Come on, don't make me say it.” 
Staring at him, you fold your arms in an act of defiance. He rolls his eyes and looks at you. 
“I like you. You're uptight, and mean to me, and a little conceited, but I like you. I don't want you to hurt. Can we just be friends? I'm a pretty good listener, you know? I can help.” 
Heat floods your insides. Eyes scanning him for any sign of a joke, you come up empty. 
‘I'm not conceited,” you counter weakly, clinging on to the familiar push and pull. 
“And I'm the Easter bunny.” 
Giggling, you take another sip of beer. 
“Come on, friends? Talk to me.” 
Sighing deeply, you fix your gaze at the table, forefinger tracing patterns in the condensation from your drink. “Promise not to laugh?” 
“I promise.” 
You can't tell how genuine he's being, as you don't dare look at his face, nerves controlling your every limb. His voice seems honest enough. 
“I- I have a problem, something I can't physically do. You reminded me of it. It's not your fault.” Shrugging in an attempt to make this look less serious than it is for you, you take a pull out of your beer bottle once more.
“Wait, are you saying…” he chuckles a little in disbelief, “have you never… had an orgasm before?” 
“Eddie, be quiet!” You urgently whisper, looking around the bar. 
“No one's listening sweetheart, no spies in here,” he says in a low tone, hand reaching out to grasp yours. Your first instinct is to shake his hand away but he holds firm, rough fingertips rubbing against your knuckles. 
“Eddie, I'm broken,” you whimper, voice breaking, “I can't do it.” 
“Oh sweetheart,” he responds, chock full of emotion, “you're not broken. You are perfect.” 
Pulling your hand away, you keep your eyes away from his, unwilling to meet that burning gaze of his. Unwilling to lose yourself in those sultry dark eyes. 
“I can't do it. Anytime some guy tries, it hurts. I've given up to be honest. I just wasn't made for it.” 
He laughs again, dragging his hand over his face. 
“Fuck, sweetheart, the problem ain't you. Have you- have you tried, fixing it, on your own?” The last part is a whisper, you assume to protect your feelings. 
“Yeah, but I just feel stupid and awkward. I don't know.” 
There's a little silence between you as you both dwell in the suffocating fog of your confession, neither of you willing to clear it. 
“Listen, this may be way out of your comfort zone, but I'm saying it anyway. If you don't like it, we'll forget it, and I won't mention it again.” 
Finally looking at him, at the vulnerability on his face, you nod, not trusting your voice. 
“I can… maybe I can help you. Show you you're not broken? As a favour between friends.” 
You laugh mirthlessly and finish your beer. “That's a little more than a favour, Eddie.” 
“We can keep it professional.” 
You stare at him wide eyed. His messy hair and dark glittering eyes. At the way he slumps in his seat like a king or a delinquent, you can't decide which. At his taunt frame, the tattoos spackling every available inch of his skin. Your eyebrows raise of their own accord. 
“Professional? You?” 
“Yeah, me! I can do it, you know. I could make you come.” 
A shiver forces its merry way down your spine at his words. 
“You're really confident.” 
“You haven't seen what I can do.” 
Blushing hard, you attempt to control yourself. “Look, if we're going to do this, I need you to promise some things.” 
“Ah, of course, you would have rules,” he grins, as he leans back and spreads in his seat, “continue.” 
Searching your mind for a moment, you try to glean what you need. 
“First of all, we need to be discreet, and professional at all times, clear?” 
“As crystal,” he grins wolfishly, “anything else?” 
“Yeah- I think,” you wrack your brains, trying to come up with something that would make this less intimate. Anything. But the roguish nature of his presence makes it hard to even think of a thing. Finally, your eyes widen at the idea that suddenly crosses your mind. 
“Final rule. No kissing.” 
He pouts, looking at your chest and back up, “no kissing anywhere?” 
“N-no, no kissing on the mouth.” 
Grin returning, he winks at you, a gesture that flips your stomach inside out. 
“Kinky. Alright, deal,” he leans forward to give his hand to yours. A hand covered in ink and calluses. Roughness and tenderness. 
You shake it.
********************
For the next couple of days, your little arrangement isn't brought up. A wild thought hammers itself into your mind; either he wasn't serious, or you imagined it. 
Those theories are put to bed on day three. 
After you let Mac know about the flyers and the bonus poster you designed, you sit back and enjoy the praise given to you. It's funny, the feeling of being told a job has been well done makes you happier than you care to admit.
Eddie turns up at the counter, whistling through his teeth. “Sweet looking flyers, how'd you swing those?” 
“I designed them. I've got a degree in design and marketing, if you didn't know,” you sniff, rearranging the stationary on the counter to avoid his eyes. 
“Maybe you could help me design some for my band. These look pretty metal.” He says, picking one up and looking at it closely. 
“Maybe.” 
Eddie leans in close, so close you feel the warmth of his breath on your cheek. 
“If you're still up for our arrangement, I'm free tonight.” 
Heat immediately flushes your face. Ignoring him entirely, you write your address and a time on a notepad, and thrust the paper into his hands. 
“Covert, I like it. See you then princess.” 
By the time 9pm rolls around you're a jittery mass of nerves, having changed clothes no less than four times, tidied your apartment, changed the bedsheets and paced so much you're surprised there's not a groove in the floorboards. 
In the end you'd decided on a baggy band t-shirt and your sleep shorts. It was a rational calculation to make Eddie think you're just wearing what you usually would at home and therefore show you're not nervous. I mean, you are wearing what you'd usually wear at home. He didn't need to know about how long it took you to reach that decision. 
The sound of the intercom buzzing sends your pulse into overdrive. Pressing the button, you let out a strangled “Hello?” 
“Hey princess.” 
“Come on up.” 
Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck…
A soft knock at the door and you count to five, trying to remember how to breathe. When you open the door, you're stunned. He's leaning on the doorframe in a fucking button up shirt. It's black, and clings to him deliciously. His hair looks a little damp, loose around his shoulders, and his aftershave is making you feel dizzy. 
“Oh, you didn't need- I mean-” you point at his shirt, and he looks down and chuckles. 
“Just came from band practice. Took a shower, and this was clean,” he shrugs and shoulders into your apartment. “Nice place. Where's all your stuff?” 
You look around at your sparse apartment. Everything in order, down to the fresh flowers on your tiny dining table. 
“This is all my stuff,” you say, confused, “I don't like clutter.” 
He chuckles, walking over to you. “No wonder I annoy you. I am clutter.” 
He's close now, close enough so that you have to look up to see his face. His rough fingers ghost your arm, sending a wave of goosebumps over your skin. 
“Nice seeing you in something casual. L7, right?” He asks, pointing at the t-shirt. 
“Yeah, you know who they are?” 
“I'm surprised you do. Thought you'd be a Mariah Carey kinda girl.” 
You scrunch your face in distaste. “No, not at all. You don't know everything about me.” 
He leans in, warm breath a whisper in your ear. “I know some things about you.” 
Squirming hotly, you lead him to your room before you lose your nerve. 
“So, the princess's bedchamber. It's nice,” he remarks, flopping down on the bed as if it were his own. 
“Take your boots off,” you snip, folding your arms. 
“Ah, there she is.” He smiles, but does as instructed. Once more he's laying back into your scattered pillows looking perfectly at ease. You, on the other hand, stand there, spine a vertical rod as you stare back at him. 
 “Come on then, sit down.” 
Nervously you sit at the foot of the bed with your legs crossed. 
“Now princess, what do you do when you touch yourself?” 
Blushing furiously, you stammer out, “what, do you expect me to like, show you?” 
He chuckles, diffusing some of the tension. “As much as I'd like that, I don't think you're ready for that kinda shit. Just tell me, what's your thought process?” 
Staring at him for a little too long, you open your mouth and close it again. He rolls his eyes. 
“Look, if you want me to help I'll help, but you gotta give me something here.” He looks as if he's about to get up and leave; your arm shoots out on its own accord, grabbing his leg to stop him. 
“Sorry, sorry. I just, I've never spoken about this kinda stuff. I don't know about any process, I just… reach down and fiddle around?” You blush even more. 
“So you don't like, watch anything? Or read anything?” He looks a little amused.
“What on earth are you talking about?” 
“Porn, sweetheart.” 
It's so blunt that you jump a little. “Oh no, I've never, oh no no.” 
“Christ,” he whispers, “right, you can like, set the mood. Look at something to turn you on? It'd probably help you feel less awkward.” 
“Oh. Right.” 
“And do you ever just like, slouch? I feel like I'm back at school looking at ya.” 
“Huh?” 
“Just, come here.” He pats the little space between his spread legs and you hesitate for a second before you crawl over to him. 
“How do you want me to sit, like cross legged or-” 
He grabs your hips and spins you, forcing your back into his crotch.
“Stop trying to control every little thing,” he says in a hard tone, one you're too embarrassed to admit makes your insides tingle. Softer, he continues. “Look, if you're ever gonna get there you need to relax, stop trying to control it, and stop overthinking.” 
“Great, all of the things I'm shit at.” 
His laugh is loud, it vibrates into your spine. “I'll help you, OK? You trust me?” 
“In a very limited sense of the word, yeah.” 
“Lemme rephrase. You still OK to do this?” 
“Yeah.”
“Good. Just relax.” 
You're not sure what you are expecting, but it certainly isn't his hands winding into your hair, fingertips rubbing softly at your scalp. It shoots tingles down your spine, your entire head feeling fuzzy and warm. 
You stifle a whimper, biting your lip. His fingers stop. 
“If you want to make noises, you can. Tells me I'm doing a good job. That goes for everything else too, alright?” 
“Alright.” You whisper. 
“You comfortable?” 
“Yeah it's just- well-”
“Tell me.” 
“I think it's your shirt buttons, they're digging into my back a bit,” you admit, feeling the sharp points down your spine. 
“Easily fixed.” He taps your arm and you lean forward. Some rustling, and he throws his shirt to the foot of your bed. 
“Now just chill sweetheart.” 
His fingers begin rubbing at you again, thumbs sinking low to pop at the bubbles in your neck. 
“Fuck, that's really nice.” 
He hums appreciatively, working his hands lower and dropping them to your shoulders. The massaging continues, and you feel yourself melting, your body moulding into his. Your legs, once ramrod straight, have bent a little and parted of their own accord, the muscles loosening. Even your breathing has slowed. 
“That's better, atta girl,” he says and you whine at the words, a little pathetic mewling sound that tumbles past your lips.
“Oh, you like that, don't you?” The smile is evident in his voice, a smug tone smeared liberally across each word. 
“You, you're so-” you begin, but his hand drags across the front of your shirt, just over the tops of your breasts.
“I'm so what?” He whispers in your ear.
“So, so arrogant,” you huff. He laughs, a husky chuckle, and dances the tips of his fingers over your clothed nipple. Gasping, you grasp at his thighs either side of you.
“Yeah? What else am I?” He says, nibbling at your earlobe. 
“You- you're cocky, and- and self assured- Oh God!” 
Rudely interrupted by him tweaking your nipple between his thumb and forefinger, you swear, back arching off of him for a moment. 
“You know,” he says in a gravelly tone directly in your ear, “those are pretty much the same thing.” 
“You drive me crazy,” you huff, squirming a little against him as his hands explore your chest over your shirt.
“Good crazy or bad crazy?” He smiles, then bites softly at your neck. 
“I- I haven't decided yet.” 
“Good. I can say the same about you,” he admits, his hands trailing lower, pulling your shirt up so he can stroke at your bare sides. The touch of fingertips on your skin sends a river of sensations through you that run deep into your core. 
“Are you going to- what are you doing, exactly?” You breathe, starting to move against him. 
“I'm warming you up sweetheart. Why, don't you like it?” 
Genuinely curious, you try to ask what you want to know without using the words. 
 “N- no, I do. Do you have to, erm, get warmed up? When you, you know.” 
He lets out a little huff of a laugh. “Guys are a little less… complicated, than girls. For the most part.” 
“Oh. OK, so you can just. I mean, you just, get excited?��� Your breathing becomes more ragged when the tip of his thumb grazes the underside of your breast. 
“Sweetheart, I got hard seeing you in these little shorts.” Running a finger down your stomach, he lightly pings the elastic of your sleep shorts as if to accentuate his point. 
“Really?” 
There's no denying it when he moves his hips up and you feel his solid bulge press into the small of your back. 
“Really. Can I take this off?” He asks, twisting the hem of your shirt in one hand. 
“Yeah.” It's a whisper. You're a little scared of being bare chested, but not having to see his face helps. Plus, he's wound you up so much you're on the verge of begging for his touches, pleading for more. 
He guides your top up, up, up, revealing you slowly. Coaxing it over your head, you move your arms up so he can remove it. It ends up in a heap on top of his shirt. One tattooed arm wraps around your waist, pulling you toward him more, his hardness pushing against your ass. 
His breathing is unsteady as he grinds his hips, pushing onto you further. Gasping, your fingers are vices, firmly attached to his thighs in a vain attempt to anchor you. 
Suddenly his hand is winding into your hair, tugging your head aside so he can run a fat tongue across your neck. You shudder at the sensation, feeling the hard ball of his tongue piercing against your throat When he takes his pillowy lips and sucks at the spot between your neck and shoulder a moan slips out. Grunting in approval, his hands are on your bare tits, fingers pinching at your hardened nipples. 
“Holy hell!” 
He laughs, running rough fingers down your body, circling your new ink, then dipping down past your waistband. Those tattooed fingers barely brush your pubic hair, teasing you, then glide back up to your stomach. 
“Eddie, please.” 
Your voice is small, not your own. Eddie groans low in your ear, rubbing his length into the fat of your ass.
“Fuck, princess, I like you saying my name like that. You want me to touch you right here?” he says, pressing down hard over your clothed clit. 
The sheer relief of having his touch where you need it gets you close to tears; a gulping shudder of a sob rips from deep in your chest. 
“See, you're not broken, sweetheart. Can I take these off?” 
Shaking, you hook your fingers into your sleep shorts and pull them down your legs, air hitting your most intimate area. Eddie huffs in your ear, his inked hands rubbing up the insides of your thighs. 
“You're so fuckin’ sexy.”
Before you can retort, his fingers dip down to your entrance, gathering your slick. You can hear how wet you are, but it's not in you to think about it. You can't think, only feel. 
When his fingers run up and start rubbing circles into your clit, your response is visceral. Bucking up, you chase the feeling, searching for even more. 
“I'm gonna slip a finger in, alright princess?” 
You nod, waiting for the pain, wincing before it even starts.
“It's OK, you're fine, you gotta relax baby.” He strokes your stomach with his free hand, pressing kisses to your temple. 
The tip of his finger breaches you, and the pain doesn't come. Your soaking wet cunt invites him in, warm and pulsing with arousal. He slips it into the hilt, his palm pressing into your clit, and your moan is long and loud. It's never felt like this. Never has it stoked a fire in your gut, bubbled your insides like pop rocks and Coke, turned you into a writhing mess. 
He fucks his finger into you, slipping a second in to join the first, and you move your hips, chasing the building tightness in your belly. Each thrust of his hand has you bucking, and in turn rubbing against his member trapped within its denim prison. 
“That's it, good fuckin’ girl.” His voice is strained, as if he's trying hard not to lose control. 
“Eddie, oh fuck, f-feels so- good, yes, please, please-” 
You're not sure what you're begging for, and Eddie doesn't seem to be in any state to ask, but it doesn't matter. His fingers fuck into you in earnest, stroking hard against some spot inside that has you babbling and quivering around him. 
“God, you're so tight, this little cunts gonna drive me crazy. So wet and perfect, Jesus Christ.”
The feeling seems too much and not enough, and it grows higher and higher, flooding your body with a pleasure so intense you're sure you black out. The only thing you're aware of is your voice screaming out his name as your body thrusts wildly into his grip. Finally, it dissipates, your body melting against his form, sweating and spent. 
You take a breath, and another, trying to gather your wits enough to speak. Eddie speaks first.
“So sweetheart, everything you dreamed it would be?” He asks as he strokes your hair. 
“Better. Fuck, Eddie. Thank you.” 
“Anytime. Seriously. Any. Time. Day, night, weekends, holidays-” 
You giggle, slapping his thigh, and sit up, grabbing your discarded shirt to cover up. 
“Sorry, that was probably a little er, frustrating for you.” You say as you glance at his bare torso, drinking in the sight with your eyes for the first time. He's lean, but ripped, a faint sheen of sweating making his tattoos glisten in the low light. 
“What do you mean sweetheart?” 
“Well, doing that, not getting anything in return...” 
He chuckles lightly, “Oh I wouldn't say that,” he glances down, gesturing to his jeans, “full disclosure, I came in my pants.” 
“Really?” your eyes widen, staring at him with disbelief. 
“I ain't lying. Wanna check?” He waggles his eyebrows at you, making you laugh again. 
“You seem better already. Right, I better go.” 
Shoulders deflating, you pout, “I suppose you better.” 
“Hey don't look at me like that. I hoped that helped. Sleep tight, drink some water. I'll see you tomorrow princess.” 
And just like that, he leaves. Of course he leaves, it was just a deal you struck, nothing more. A favour. you wipe stray tears from your eyes and try not to focus on the sound of the front door shutting. 
As you collapse on the bed, exhausted, you think about his hands, his words. There's something screaming inside, telling you you're playing with fire, but as you drift off you can't find it in you to mind.
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hairmetal666 · 2 months ago
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Eddie owns a record store, gets to talk about music everyday. Life is good. Great, actually.
He's consolidating the Christian rock section on a quiet Wednesday morning when it happens. A man with swoopy dark hair, tight dark blue jeans, and a plum Member's Only jacket walks in, and doesn't take his Ray Bans off even once he's solidly inside.
Eddie is awestruck. This dude is gorgeous. Heart stopping. He watches him browse in quiet astonishment, unable to say anything until he blurts, "Can I help you find something?"
The man smiles--Eddie's heart stops--and he says, "Nah, just browsing. Your sign caught my eye."
And he's still not quite with the program, the rich honey of the man's voice taking him totally by surprise. "Ah, oh, it did?" He manages after a few long beats. "Painted it myself."
"No shit? It's great."
"Thanks, man. I also think it's some of my finest work."
The guy laughs. "How can I know unless I see some of your other pieces?"
Eddie's face heats, but he's never been known for having good impulse control. "Maybe you'll get lucky."
Spots of pink bloom on the man's cheeks and the tips of his ears. "And here I was, thinking I was getting special treatment."
Eddie cocks his head, smiles big. "Well, the day's still young." It's so risky and stupid; no way this guy is queer, but he grins at Eddie, laughs a little too.
"That right? Well, tell me your latest recommendations."
"For you?" Eddie eyes him up and down. "Wham!"
The guy's laugh is warm and rich and Eddie wants to drown in it. "Big of you to say for a someone who's only listened to Enter Sandman for the last four months."
Eddie cackles, points a be-ringed finger. "It's a good song! A great record."
"Hey, I've got no problem with Metallica. I just don't think you should be casting aspersions on Wham!."
"Casting aspersions, do you have a word of the day calendar or some shit?"
"No! It's toilet paper."
Their snickers grow until they're both hysterical, needing to lean against a display to stay upright.
It's like he's living in a dream, hitting it off with a beautiful man who just happened to stumble into his store. They catch their breath and Eddie uses the time to grab a record off a nearby shelf.
"Here," he says. "Try this."
"Joni Mitchell?"
"Don't tell me, Wham! fan, that you're too cool for Joni."
"Nah, she's my best friend's favorite. How much do I owe you?"
"On the house," Eddie shrugs.
"Shit, that's generous. Thanks, man. Now, about your art--" He glances at the shiny watch on his wrist. "Fuck, is it really 3:15? Goddamnit, I gotta get going."
And Eddie wants to call him back, doesn't want this dream encounter to end, but he's dashing to the door--
And just like that, the man is gone, the only evidence it ever happened the lingering chime of the bell over the door.
The bell clatters again, and his head wrenches up hard enough it hurts his neck.
"Was that Steve Harrington?" the customer shrieks.
"No," he scoffs. Except. Except. The hair and the clothes and sunglasses and the face and his lips--
"No!?" He feels the way his eyes have gone wide with panic. He didn't just flirt with Steve Harrington. Of course not. Not ever. He would've recognized--
He runs to the racks of magazines in front of the register, grabbing the latest issue of People. The cover features a glossy, polished photo of the man who just left the store. The one who had the highest grossing movie of the summer alongside his co-star, Julia Roberts. The one who, according to the article within, is in Chicago right now shooting a new movie. The one who Eddie flirted with. The one who flirted back.
He groans and covers his face with his hands. At least he'll never see Steve Harrington again.
---
Harrington comes back.
The second time, he's wearing a jewel blue polo and fitted slacks, Ray Bans nowhere to be seen.
"Got anymore recommendations?" Steve asks.
"What?" Eddie's still trying to accept that Harrington came back.
"I finished Joni. It was good. Recommend something else for me."
Fully with the program, he reaches to the rack behind him, handing the vinyl to Steve without ever taking his eyes off him.
"Seriously?" Steve deadpans.
"Tell me you don't deserve it after last time."
Steve studies the cover of Metallica, a complicated look on his face. "Fine, but you have to listen to the album George Michael released last year."
He mimics getting shot in the heart. "After my magnanimous first suggestion, you dare to punish me with Freedom?"
"Think of it more as an opportunity."
"To regret every decision I've ever made?"
"To expand your musical horizons."
Eddie rolls his eyes. "Fiiiine. It's a deal."
Steve beams. "Good! Ring me up."
And Eddie, he'd comp it again, but Steve gives him this look that tells him not to try it.
As they pass the magazine racks, Eddie points at one featuring Steve on the cover. "That thing you wore to the Vanity Fair party last month was hideous."
Steve snorts, then laughs. "Thanks. My stylist decided to go for something--"
"--terrible?--"
"Avant garde."
"Oh, is that what they're calling it these days?"
Steve pays, throws Eddie one last smile, "next time?"
Eddie nods, already certain this time is the last one.
---
He keeps coming back.
Eddie tries not to read into it.
Steve is straight, famously has a girlfriend. former horror movie child star turned cinema wunderkind, Nancy Wheeler. They're always on the covers of the tabloids, in ever more improbable stories about affairs and secret babies and french countryside weddings.
But he keeps coming back. And eventually, they grab dinner. And that dinner becomes lunches, movies, clubs, concerts. Eddie's in paparazzi photos, and there's no speculation about their relationship. Steve has a girlfriend.
But sometimes. Sometimes Steve will rest his hand on Eddie's nape, his lower back, let it linger. He'll trace a finger down the tattoos on Eddie's forearms or the patches of his battle vest. He'll lean too close when they talk, unafraid to press their bodies together. And he catches Steve's eyes on his mouth more than once, his pupils wide.
Over the next few weeks, Steve's gaze on Eddie's mouth gets hotter, his looks longer, and it's killing him. All he wants to do, all he ever wants to do, is close the distance between them, appease the gnawing beast of desire in his chest.
But Steve has a girlfriend.
They don't talk about her, not even when he knows all about Steve's best friend, Robin, and the gang of kids who adopted him, or Joyce and Hopper, his surrogate parents. Never Nancy.
He tries not to read into it.
---
They're supposed to meet for dinner. Steve scored reservations at a trendy new restaurant, but Eddie's late. Astronomically, horrifically late. It's pouring rain, it takes fifteen minutes to get a cab, traffic is a nightmare.
Out of patience and time, he decides to run the last few blocks to the restaurant. By the time he reaches the building, he's soaked to the bone, spluttering harsh breaths through mouthfuls of rain.
Steve is walking in the opposite direction, hands stuffed into the pockets of his coat.
"Steve?" He calls.
He turns and this is the first time Eddie's seen him angry. "You're late," Steve's eyes rake over him, and his face softens in an instant. He takes Eddie's wrist, leads him into an alley where the buildings are close enough to block some of the rain.
"What happened?"
"Traffic."
Steve's gaze go all soft and gentle, and Eddie's knees buckle a little. "You look like a drowned rat."
"Yeah, well." Eddie scoffs. "We can't all be beautiful movie stars."
"You're more beautiful than I could ever be, even soaking wet."
He shakes his head, ignoring the cascade of butterflies; Steve shouldn't say things like that. His vigorous movement sends wet strands of hair slapping him in the face.
Steve reaches out, softly brushes it back.
Eddie stops breathing.
Steve closes the distance between them.
What a thing, to be kissed by Steve Harrington. What a terrible, glorious thing.
He breaks it fast, face red, can't catch his breath. "Nancy," is all he can say.
"Nancy?"
"You have a girlfriend."
Steve's face scrunches. "She's not my girlfriend."
Eddie's mouth drops. "Yes, she is." They went to the Oscars together.
"Eddie." Steve takes a few steps back. "Eddie. I'm gay."
He laughs, an ugly honking thing. "C'mon. What could she possibly get out of that?"
Steve's eyes widen, eyebrows reaching his hairline, mouth pursed in a bitchy line. It takes Eddie a minute but, "Ohhhhh. So, it's all--?"
"It was the best way."
"But you're--?"
"I thought you clocked me immediately! Wham!???"
"That was because of the jacket!"
"Have you ever met a straight man who dresses like I do and likes George Michael??"
"That describes five dudes I see a day!"
"And you thought they were straight??"
Eddie stares into the middle distance, replaying some of those interactions, and--"Huh. Okay. I get hit on at work waaay more than I realized."
"For fuck's sake, Eddie!" He's shaking his head, but Eddie sees the way the corners of his mouth shake with suppressed laughter.
"I'm sorry! You have a very public straight relationship!"
Steve giggles, pulls Eddie close. "Is this okay?"
"So okay."
"You do like me back?"
"Are you kidding! Thought I was going insane, how much I want you."
"And now?"
"Come back to my place?"
"Thought you'd never ask."
And Eddie, he's seen Steve playing at love dozens of times, but this--right here, in a soggy, smelly alley where they're both soaking wet--it's more perfect than any movie.
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suguann · 8 months ago
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He has a feeling that the new girl running the front desk at the gym is going to be a problem—a distraction disguised in a gym uniform polo and khaki pants.
It starts with you smiling too brightly as he walks in one morning, all teeth and that little twinkle in your eye that feels like trouble when you scan his membership card.
“Good morning, Mr. Riley.” 
“It’s just Simon,” he tells you as he takes his card off the counter. 
The following day, it’s the same, except Johnny is there to make it worse.
He nudges Simon with his elbow. “She’s kinda pretty, huh?”
“Say it any louder, and she’ll hear you, mate,” he grumbles.
Simon’s not blind; of course, he knows you’re pretty, but he doesn’t have time to commit to anything outside of work—even if you smile at him like you’re happy to see him and how he’ll think about it later: on missions, at his desk, during morning runs. His head is nothing short of woven webs with thoughts of you stuck in the middle.
Honestly, it’s that you—
(You try to make small talk with him every morning, and Simon is starting to think it’s just for him because on the days he doesn’t come alone, you merely scan his card and go back to reading the open paperback book on the desk.)
It’s weird because it’s almost like you—
(He bumps into you at the supermarket and makes a dumb joke about carrots that makes you laugh. It makes him a little tongue-tied and awkward afterward because he realizes he hasn’t talked to a woman outside of only wanting a quick fuck in a really long time, but more importantly, he wants to hear it again. 
Instead, he tosses potatoes in his cart and walks away.)
He tells himself it means nothing, or not how Simon wants it to.
You’re just…he’s not even sure; acquaintances? Maybe more than that, but less than friends. Somewhere in that odd in-between phase where he only knows bits and pieces but not the whole picture.
Sometimes, he wishes—
(Simon doesn’t know what he’s doing the first time he invites you to meet the guys from work on a night out. He’s dated around a few times and had his fair share of hook-ups, but this isn’t like that. His palms are sweaty, more than usual, and no amount of wiping them on the thighs of his jeans keeps them dry.
Then you walk into the bar in a dress that’s probably too light for early spring in London—even though he stares appreciatively at the long expanse of your legs as you walk up to the table—and he wishes he wasn’t introducing you as his friend.)
But you—
(A new development happens after you slip him your phone number on one of the gym’s business cards—it’s weird that we don’t have each other’s numbers, so message me sometime or whatever—and he messages you ‘hey’ right before he leaves for a mission a few days later. 
It slowly shifts and changes over time.
You start sending him texts in the morning. Never an actual good morning text, but of the dogs you take on walks, the sunrise, the new flower box in your window. Somehow, it’s better.)
You really are—
(His house feels too hot, and he’s distracted from the movie by how close you are, how your leg drapes over his under the blanket, fingers fisting into his sweater at his stomach that clenches. An ache that grows, throbbing, spreading from his abdomen to his groin.
It feels monumental—something more than the gentle touch to the elbow to squeeze by each other in his entryway earlier or giving you his jacket that night at the bar—a tilt of the axis that makes the messy pieces fall neatly into place. 
He must be staring because you glance up at him, smiling, and the sound from the TV turns into white noise in the background.
“Can I…would you—fucking hell,” Simon runs a hand through his hair. “Can I kiss you?”
When your lips press against his, and his hands are pulling you onto his lap, where you settle hotly against his dick tenting in his jeans, he wonders why neither of you has done this before. Just kissing—him licking the seam of your mouth, and you panting his name.
“I’ve wanted to do that for a while,” you mumble, lips brushing his.
“Me too,” and he fists his hand into the hair at your nape and pulls you back to his mouth.)
“I knew you’d be trouble,” he tells you one day, glaring at the bloke further down the bar who tried making a swipe at your ass before Simon showed up, towering over his shoulder with your fruity cocktail in hand.
“Oh, yeah?” you giggle, leaning into his side.
“Yeah,” the corners of his mouth quirk, though he hides it when he presses a kiss against your temple. “A real pain in my ass, love.”
“But yours.”
This time, he does smile. “Yes, but mine.”
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Masterlist
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tj-crochets · 3 months ago
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My grandma just called me to say she "likes the red and black, but the denim doesn't look good" and that this "would be a good quilt for a dog" lol
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The lumberjack quilt is complete! It is very heavy and very cozy
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