#except cody’s part....we don’t talk about cody’s part

[this-is-what-makes-us-fandoms]

Alliance || Total Drama ||

After finding out Duncan cheated on you with Gwen, Alejandro offers you an alliance as revenge against Duncan. 

Pairing: Duncan x Reader x Alejandro 

Warnings: Cheating (not reader), fem implied reader 

Words: As I’m finally coming out of my writer’s block, I present this! Maybe a little self-indulgent because I like Alejandro and Duncan. Oops—Might make a second part if people like it though.

| Not my GIFs |

Your cheering for Cody ceased when Tyler blurted out the secret he’s been holding back. It took a moment to register in your head, not wanting to believe it. Duncan didn’t actually kiss Gwen, right? Your boyfriend and best friend wouldn’t have done that to you. It had to have been a strategy the other team came up with to throw you off. Pitting you against each other so you’d be distracted during the challenges. 

“Wait, what?” you ask, the distraction immediately working. 

“He said that Duncan kissed G—,” Alejandro repeated. 

You were quick to cut him off before turning to face Gwen. “I heard what he said! Gwen? Is that true?” 

She looked at you with guilt written all over her face that only confirmed it. She took a step back, as if expecting you to fight her. And for a moment you thought about it, anger quick to take over. Except heartbreak was quicker to hit when you fully accepted the situation. Your boyfriend and best friend kissed behind your back. 

You turned to look at Duncan who gave you a just as equally guilty look. You had hoped that by looking at him he’d shut down Tyler’s rumor. But when he looked away, you knew it was all true. Your heart cracked in your chest, and everyone was silent, waiting to see what you’d do. Both Duncan and Gwen watched you closely and you could see the fear on their faces. You never got mad or raised your voice, you were one of the few reasonable contestants on this show. It’s what made you so likable and kind of scary with everyone wondering if you’d ever snap. Today might just be the day. 

You turned to look at Cody who hadn’t moved yet, he was watching to see what happens next. No doubt scared that you might do something to Gwen. You kind of felt bad for him, he was sort of betrayed too. It can’t be fun knowing the girl you’ve been pining over kissed someone else. 

“Cody, start flying if you want to win this. Otherwise, if we lose, we’ll be voting Gwen off tonight,” you tell him. 

Your voice is eerily calm but it’s enough to set Cody flapping his poorly made wings. Your words made him determined to win, more so with his team agreeing with you. The Amazons won the challenge in the end which meant Gwen was safe for now. It also meant that Duncan had a chance to be voted off and although you were heartbroken, you didn’t want to see him go yet. 

Once your team is back in first class, you're left alone with your thoughts. And everyone wants to know what you’ll do to Gwen. Courtney is immediately giving you ideas, completely on your side. She had a crush on Duncan, but when he admitted he felt the same for you, she became your number one supporter. Which meant she was the embodiment of your anger now. 

“Hey, can we talk?” Gwen asks, approaching you with a guilty look on her face. 

“She has nothing to say to you!” Courtney exclaimed, standing in front of you. 

Gwen took a step back but looked over at you, nonetheless, silently pleading with you. Courtney looked at you too, arms crossed over her chest with a scowl on her face. You knew you should talk to her about this, but you didn’t want to. Not right now. 

“You heard her, I don’t have anything to say,” you repeat. 

She sighs heavily and walks away with a defeated look on her face. As much as she liked the kiss with Duncan, nothing could get rid of the guilt she felt. She hadn’t meant to betray you like that, it just sort of happened. At least, that’s how she likes to remember it. 

“We can so vote her off in the next challenge,” Courtney says once she’s gone. 

You shake your head, a defeated and broken look on your face. “It won’t change anything.” 

“No, but it’ll make you feel better. And it gives me an excuse to boot her out,” Courtney offers, trying to cheer you up. 

She liked you, which is rare for her, especially given the circumstances. This wasn’t exactly the place to make friends, but she became friends with you. You were the only person she’d deemed worthy enough to make it to the final two. Which is why she was angry for you. And maybe something else that she’d never admit. 

You offer a smile, strained but good enough to seem cheery. “I’d still rather play fair. If we happen to lose a challenge then whatever happens, happens.” 

That was enough for her, deciding to make your team purposely lose. People would suspect it from you but not from her. She could even get Sierra and Heather in on it. 

You wanted to be alone after, sneaking away from first class. You found a corner hidden away from everyone and sank down. Being alone meant you finally felt everything that just happened. Your boyfriend really kissed your best friend. You felt your heart crack inside your chest and the dam finally burst. 

You sobbed into your hands, using them to muffle whatever noises left you. It almost worked, had a certain someone not been snooping around. Alejandro found you in your corner crying your heart out. It’s exactly as he had hoped for. To get you alone and charm his way into your trust. Except standing in front of you now, he wasn’t so sure of his plan. 

“May I offer some comfort?” he asks, sitting beside you. 

You stop crying immediately and wipe your tear stained cheeks. You clear your throat and look away. “No, I’m fine. Completely fine.” 

“Of course, I didn’t mean to insinuate you weren’t,” he says, giving you a charming and gentle smile. 

You furrow your brows and stare at him, seeing straight through him. You didn’t trust Alejandro, from the beginning of this season. You saw what he did to Bridgette and LeShawna. You weren’t going to let him get to you the same way. 

“What do you want?” you ask. 

“My, I didn’t expect such a beautiful lady to be so harsh,” he places a hand over his heart and feigns being hurt. 

It makes you roll your eyes and cross your arms. “Listen, you may have everyone fooled but not me. And I’m not in the mood right now.” 

“I know,” he smiles again, this time showing his true intentions behind it. You were too smart for your own good and there was no point pretending. “But I figured now was as good a time as any.” 

“For?” 

“I propose an alliance between the two of us.” 

“You want an alliance with me? Why?” your eyes narrow and you’re even more weary of him. 

He was quiet for a moment, unsure of how to answer. What excuse could he say without giving away how he really felt? He didn’t want to admit that he actually felt bad and angered. No one should have ever broken your heart, much less someone like Duncan. But saying that out loud would mean having to admit how he felt. He wouldn’t. In a competition like this, feelings were a weakness. 

“To get back at Duncan, of course,” he answers. “If he sees us working together, it’ll irk him. Seeing you move on will definitely be a punch to the gut.” 

“Oh right, it’ll definitely be a punch to the gut when he’s making out with Gwen,” your voice cracks at the end, vision blurring. 

Alejandro’s heart wrenches at your sadness and anger bubbles in his chest. Duncan didn’t deserve you, not for a second. He abandoned you at the beginning of the competition and you just accepted him like it was nothing when he came back. He hated it and he hated you a little bit for it. Except now was his chance to get you to see him and forget about Duncan. 

He wraps an arm around your shoulders without thinking about it. Your pulled closer to him, facing him only inches away. “No offense, but you’re not exactly my type.” 

He laughs and gives you an ever so charming smile. “Don’t worry, that’s not my intention,” he lies. 

“And what are your intentions?” 

“It’s like I said, an alliance with you. Not only will it be revenge on Duncan but I’ll take you to the final two with me.” 

“Oh really? Why would you take me to the final two? I would’ve imagined you’d want someone like Heather.” 

“Heather? While she is lovely, she’s not my type. And I happen to like someone else,” he says, looking at you earnestly. 

Your heart skips a beat and you blame it on your bundled feelings. You push him away, making space between the two of you. Honestly, his deal sounded nice even if he ended up double crossing you. At least you could distract yourself from what Duncan and Gwen did. 

“Okay, on one condition. If you stab me in the back at any point, you vote yourself off.” 

He doesn’t even hesitate as he answers, all that matters is that he’s got you on his side. “Deal.” 

[msbigredmachine]

On Sight - The Finale (Jey Uso/OC)

The fact that we hate each other don’t mean we can’t fuck. Just don’t fall in love with me. The finale of my 4-part Jey Uso/OC series.

Warnings: Smut, toxic behavior, angst

Word count: 7.8k

A/N: This is it. It breaks my heart so much that I’ve finished this. Can’t say much else, other than enjoy! 😥

For some reason I had Mariah Carey’s “My All” playing while I edited this and it made me emosh. Still not sure why. 

ON SIGHT - THE MASTERLIST

----------------

Part 4 - ALL?

The following month went by in one big blur. There was literally no time for you to get any rest especially when WrestleMania week finally arrived. You seemed to be doing several different things all at once and it was threatening to overwhelm you. On top of that, all your hard work was being hampered by an illness that seemingly emerged from nowhere, no doubt thanks to all the stress from prepping for the biggest show of the year along with the Jey drama. You just wished for everything to be over and done with so you could finally get a good night’s sleep and maybe a COVID test in case it was that serious. 

Your hectic schedule for this week included Walemania, hosting the Hall of Fame ceremony and both kick-off shows for the two-night extravaganza. Honestly, it was a good thing, as your busyness prevented you from running into Jey. Well, except at Walemania, and even then, you kept a considerable distance from him, and you only hung around for about an hour before apologizing to Wale and leaving the event. 

Sadly, there was no escaping him on the final Smackdown before Mania, as you had to conduct one final sit-down interview with the current Tag team champions. It was excruciating. Your brain and your heart were two warring factions; your heart still craved him, yearned for him, but your brain opined that you were better off without him. You didn’t know what to choose. 

Though he exuded his customary macho, snarling demeanor, you could still see, sitting across from him, that he was equally as tortured as you were. He barely looked you in the eye and let Jimmy do most of the talking. As much as your body ached to hug him and kiss him and forgive him, your brain scoffed and admonished you for being such a simp for him. Once the director gave the all-clear, he mumbled something to Jimmy before leaping out of his chair and hurrying out of the room. At last, you could breathe again, although it took an effort to blink away the tears and swallow down the lump that had formed in your throat. Feeling a pair of eyes on you, you realized Jimmy was by your side, a hint of sympathy in his gaze.

“Ay, don’t worry, sis,” he said kindly, pulling you into a hug you didn’t know you needed. “You two will kiss and make up when the time's right.”

You scoffed sadly, your eyes on the door your ex-lover just left from. “Yeah, I don’t know about that.” 

“Naw, you will,” Jimmy affirmed confidently. “I seen the way my brother looks at you, and the way you look at him. Y’all don’t realize how much you love each other and how perfect you are for each other. Every love goes through its ups and downs, ya know? This ain’t no different.” He smiled. “You’ll work it out. Y’all are meant to be.”

------------------

By the end of Night One, you were running on fumes and just about ready to drop from exhaustion. But somehow, the excitement in the air propelled you, from the fans inside the jam-packed stadium to the wrestlers themselves. You were most excited for Jey, though. Your heart soared with pride and happiness as he made his way down the ramp with Jimmy for their very first main event. He had voiced his concerns to you that he wouldn’t get that spot, that it would go to another match on the card. But you strongly believed all along that the main event was his. The storyline called for it. His hard work over the last three years called for it, and you loved it so much for him.

Sitting with Becky and Seth in their skybox as Roman and Cody battled in the ring to close out Night Two, you were sipping on some iced tea when Becky leaned close to you. “Oh, by the way, congrats babe, I’m so excited for you,” she whispered out of the blue.

You glanced at her, perplexed. Did you get a promotion that you didn’t know about? “Congrats on what? And why are you whispering?”

“Because I figured you’re keeping it quiet, that’s why you haven’t said anything. The fuckery from the dirt sheets was bad enough. But don’t worry, I won’t tell a soul, I promise.”

Now you were really confused. “Okay, what are you talking about? I’m completely lost.” 

“Sweetie, you’ve had that glow about you for weeks now. It’s all over your face. Are you telling me you don’t know you’re…” The Irishwoman paused, studied your baffled features in amazement. “Seriously? You really don’t know?”

You felt your insides plummet. “Don’t know what? Spit it out, Becks,” you said impatiently, getting agitated.

Becky leaned even closer, the match abruptly forgotten at this point. “Let me ask you something, dear. Are you throwing up all the time nowadays?” she interrogated, “Are you always feeling tired or dizzy lately? What about your period?”

After racking your brain and realizing this was your life for the last several days, you could only stare back at her, dumbstruck.

Becky grabbed her phone and typed frantically. “I’ll get you a test right now. First Response or Clearblue? I recommend the latter.”

Your eyes filled with tears. 

-------------------

“Yo, Uce, you listenin’ to me?”

His brother’s voice yanked him back to reality, interrupting his forlorn, doleful scrolling through his Camera Roll for pictures of you and him together. Jey directed tired eyes towards his twin. "Huh? Whatchu say?"

Jimmy kissed his teeth and shook his head. “Man, you can’t go on like this, Uce. You a mess, moping around distracted as hell.” 

Jey put his phone away with a sigh. “I’m fine,” he insisted. But it was a damn lie. Jimmy was right. He was a complete emotional wreck and couldn’t think straight to save his life these days. Even worse, it was like you had fallen off the face of the earth. He had not seen you since WrestleMania. No one was saying anything either, and as heartbroken as he was, he still found space in his heart to be worried about you and your well-being.

"You're not fine, Uce. You miss her. You're looking at pictures of her right now. And from what I've seen, she misses you too. A lot." said Jimmy.

Jey felt his insides clench. “Yeah, right. She hates me.”

“No she don’t. She feels the exact same way you do, otherwise she woulda brushed you off a long time ago. Y’all love each other but you're both too stubborn to see it. You still messin’ with that Diamond chick?”

“Nah.” That shit ended as quickly as it started, to his relief. No one could hold a candle to you.

“Thank God, cuz that shit was not it. Go get your girl back, Uce. Make things right with her.” 

So much easier said than done. “Even if I wanted to, I don’t know where she is. I ain’t seen her in two weeks. I think she blocked me,” Jey replied, his low tone laced with misery.

Casting a quick, cautious glance around the busy catering area, Jimmy dragged his chair closer to his brother. “Look, I heard she asked for some time off, so maybe she’s at her parents’ house, I dunno. But that’s not all I heard about her…I don’t know if it’s true, but…” Stopping himself short, he shook his head. “You need to find her and talk to her. But not before making a real, sincere gesture to win her back; something you gotta do the right way.”

“Like what?”

“Flowers, presents, chocolate, the works. Something super romantic and special. And since you got bread, you max that shit out. Pull out all the stops. And don’t forget to grovel. It’s the least you can do for her, Uce.”

“Okay,” Jey nodded fervently. That sounded like a good idea. But one problem still remained. “But how do I get to her when I don’t even know where she is?”

“You might not, but she does.” 

Jey followed Jimmy’s extended arm, pointing at the buffet table where Kayla Braxton stood. Jey side-eyed his brother; he obviously wanted him dead. “That’s her ride-or-die, Uce. She’ll choke my ass out,” he said.

Jimmy shrugged. “Better talk to her nice, then.”

Sighing heavily, Jey weighed his options, realized he had none, and slowly got to his feet to make the long, daunting walk across the large room. This could either go well or go badly. He approached Kayla and tapped her shoulder. She turned around, her pleasant smile falling at the sight of the former Tag champ. With narrowed eyes, she crossed her arms over her chest.  

“What do you want?”

He grinned uneasily, decided it was inappropriate, and hastily wiped the smile off his face. "’Sup, Kayla…" he began nervously. 

She raised one eyebrow, but said nothing. Her fingers strummed impatiently against her bicep. He sighed, casting his gaze down to the floor for a second before looking back up at her, his eyes sad and imploring.

“I need your help with Y/N. Please. It’s really important.” 

Kayla raised her chin challengingly. “Why? So you can hurt her again?”

“No, the opposite. I wanna make things right with her. I have a plan, but I can’t execute it alone. That’s why I’m here, and I’d really appreciate it if you could help me out. This time, whatever you want, you got it. Please, K.”

For a few moments, her countenance didn't change, making Jey sweat under her scrutinizing glare. Then, she spoke.

“What do you have in mind?”

-------------------------

You flushed the toilet, rose to your feet and moved to the sink to rinse your mouth. You were over it at this point. You felt so fatigued and lethargic. Over the last few weeks you had little motivation to do anything, and now you knew why. Even as you got dressed to head out, all you wanted to do was sleep. You were sluggish, worn out, and...sad. The literal, walking embodiment of ‘fuck around and find out’.

You kept trying to pinpoint exactly when it happened. Surely it wasn’t any of the numerous times you and Jey fucked each other like starved animals. All the signs kept pointing to your last night at Key West. 

The scented candles. The soft music. The open roof where you could both see the stars illuminating the beach below. He took you slowly, intimately. You could vividly remember his moans against your throat as he thrusted into you with an easy pace, controlling your body like he always did. His hands all over you, massaging, caressing, guiding you to breaking point; his soft whispers about how good it felt to be inside you. The sweetest of kisses, the deepest of strokes, working you into a shuddering, whimpering mess. He’d held you all through the night with him still inside you, sealing what you thought had been a beautiful moment. In the morning, you did it all over again.

You could not recall taking your pill afterwards.

So irresponsible, and yet so heartbreakingly unforgettable.

You lugged your carryon behind you as you approached the Airbnb Kayla had booked for you. The ‘staycation extraordinaire’, she had called it. Three days of pampering and relaxation complete with a stocked kitchen, a hot tub and a fireplace for the colder nights. The house was beautiful, a quaint little A-frame cabin far away from the bustling city. You had a lot to think about and this seemed like the perfect place to gather your thoughts. And all on Kayla’s dime, too. Your friend was such a sweetheart.

You walked down the smooth pathway towards the deck outside the front door. Retrieving the key from the glove box, you unlocked the door, seconds away from finding the bedroom for a nap. You pushed inside, coming to a sudden halt at the sight that welcomed you.

It was the roses you saw first. Dozens of red roses in vases lining up both sides of the foyer. Little electric candles lit a runway ahead of you, creating a path for you to follow. Red rose petals were scattered on the floor for you to walk on. Stunned, you abandoned your bags and followed the trail, and the closer you got, the more you saw, the more the butterflies in your belly fluttered, even though you had no clue what was going on. 

Music played softly through the house, accentuating the ambience. You recognized the song as “Shame” by Tyrese. Its pleading lyrics spoke to you, the soft piano keys caressed your skin, lured you further inside the house. Your heart swelled coming upon the little vases standing alongside the scented candles on the floor, each containing a red rose. On entering the open plan living room, you stood stock-still, your body going slack, your heart hammering in your chest.

Right there, in the middle of the room, holding a big bouquet of red roses and a teddy bear in his hands, was Jey. Behind him was a wreath with the words “SORRY” spelled out in white and lavender flower petals and perched on the mantelpiece.

“Hey,” he greeted, his deep voice small and nervous.

Seeing him made you extremely emotional. His clothes fit him just right, his brooding face looked ever so sexy, and yet his eyes were so, so very sad. And judging from the flips of your belly and the cries of your heart, calling out for him, you were folding already. You didn't know what this was, but you knew right away that you were not getting through this in one piece.

So beautiful. That was Jey’s first thought when he laid eyes on you for the first time in weeks. And yet, you were such a mess. Over him. Your pretty eyes gave you away; tired, broken...just like he was. He hadn't really understood the effects of what he’d done…until now. He swallowed hard as you approached him hesitantly, not knowing what to expect. The closer you got, the more certain he was that a slap was coming his way. 

But instead, to his surprise, you threw yourself into his arms. 

Without missing a beat, he embraced you tightly, almost lifting you off the ground as he pressed his mouth to your cheek, your temple, your hair. 

“Princess,” he breathed, his voice soft and hushed and relieved. “Baby, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He peppered more kisses along your throat, a further apology. A sob broke through your chest as you buried yourself in him, relishing his scent, the feel of his body pressed against yours. It took you a minute to put two and two together, how he was even here and who was behind this. 

“Whatever you bribed Kayla with, I want double,” you mumbled, causing him to chuckle and kiss your cheek. You couldn’t stop your tears from falling as you clung to him, not wanting to let go. 

Jey pulled away slowly and wiped your tears from your cheeks. “Don’t cry, baby. Please don’t cry.” He looked you over carefully, inspecting you. Something was different, but he couldn’t tell what. 

“We should sit down,” he offered, leading you to the little fort in the corner of the room, with cushions heaped on top of the blankets on the sofa bed. 

Settling down inside the makeshift, albeit cute, tent, you watched him take his seat next to you. He reached around him and handed the roses and toy to you. 

“These are for you,” he said with a bashful smile. The teddy bear was plush and wore a white t-shirt that said, “I’m Sorry”.

"Aww, this is so cute," you gushed, hugging the teddy bear close as your gaze flickered back to his chest. His tank top showed off his arms and the tattoos on his pecs. The sight of his tattoos made you bite your bottom lip. You remembered adoring the intricate designs with your fingertips; you remembered what he looked like, hovering above you with his trademark gold chain dangling in front of you.

“Baby I fucked up. I fucked up so bad,” Jey started, his irises heavy with remorse. “When I saw you with Cody, I got scared and jumped to conclusions. I thought you ain’t want me the way I want you. I said all that horrible shit in anger. I’m sorry I didn’t trust you. I'm sorry that I hurt you.”

You sniffled and shook your head as you put the gifts away. “It’s fine.” Because truthfully, you were over it. There were far more important things to worry about now.

“No it’s not,” Jey insisted. “I did you dirty, princess. You don’t do that to people you care about.”

“I just…” You faltered a little, swallowed down your emotions, started again. “I thought we built something in Key West. Thought we were starting a relationship. I learned the hard way that that wasn’t the case, and I felt embarrassed and hurt.”

“I know. And I’ma spend every day making it up to you. I’ma be better from now on, I promise.”

You looked at him, puzzled. “From now on?”

Jey nodded and looked into your eyes. “I don’t know if you feel the same, but I really hope you do. Y/N, I wanna be with you and only you. I ain’t afraid to admit it anymore. You mean so much to me and it don’t feel right when you’re not in my life.”

“My sex is that good huh? I should be flattered,” you joked, rolling your eyes.

He let your little jab slide. You had every right to be skeptical. “Nah, baby. It’s not just the sex. It’s all of it. All of you. The deep conversations, the advice, the banter, the happiness I feel when I’m with you…The thing is, I never saw it coming. Never saw you coming. I was so focused on the Bloodline, on wrestling, protecting our legacy. Relationships of any kind were not on my radar at all. I never imagined that someone as wonderful and crazy and migraine-inducing as you could shake up my world like this. I tried to convince myself that I hated it but I don’t. I love it.”

He exchanged warm smiles with you as he took your hand, relieved when you didn’t pull away. “You right. We did build something in Key West and I wanna keep building. I like getting to know you. You’re an amazing person and I’ve learned so much from you. I miss you. I miss your smile. I miss how you always gotta play with my hair when I’m near you. I miss the way your nose crinkles when you’re confused or irritated. I miss watching those fucking reruns of Chopped with you,” he added with gritted teeth. 

That part made you laugh. Disliking Chopped should have been enough to cancel him in your books. “I miss you too,” you confessed. “I miss that big laugh of yours and how fucking goofy you are. I miss your little baby snore when you sleep. I miss your potty mouth. I miss how you bite your lip when you’re focusing really hard on something. I miss your cuddles. You give the best cuddles.”

Jey knew how much it took you to admit all those things. He happily took the small win. “I missed you after Mania,” he told you, weaving his fingers through yours. “I heard you off work for a while but no one told me why. Is everything okay?” he asked.

The abrupt switch in your demeanor concerned him. You pulled your hand out of his. The mirth on your face instantly vanished, and now you looked terrified. 

“I want to show you something,” you told him.

Picking up your phone, you opened it up, searched for a pdf document, and showed it to him. You watched in real time as the air rushed out of his lungs. He raised his widened eyes back to yours which glimmered with unshed tears.

You inhaled shakily. "That's my test result. It's the reason I've stopped traveling. I'm pregnant."

Jey felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. He scraped a hand down his face, staring back at the big POSITIVE on the document in a complete daze.

"I found out the morning after Mania," you explained yourself. "Actually, Becky found out before I did. I probably wouldn't have known if it wasn't for her. I thought I had COVID again. Never did I think it would be...So, I took three pregnancy tests, all of which came out positive, and got this test with WWE to make sure. I'm currently two months pregnant. I should have told you sooner, but I was still trying to process it all."

Apparently, so was Jey, as he kept staring at the result on your phone. "Wow," he breathed, "Wow."

You observed his stunned features and got choked up again. "Please don't ask me if it's yours. You're the only one I've been with all this time," you added, your voice breaking. "And I ain't do it on purpose neither-”

"Hey, hey, hey," he cooed, immediately squeezing your hand. "Relax. I know it's mine, a'ight? Chill. I was right there with you. We made this baby together." He really shouldn't have been surprised. Two months meant it happened at Key West. But even before that, he could recall several other instances of his and your...recklessness, for lack of a better word...in the scorching heat of passion. This outcome had been coming, pun intended. And now that it was here, he intended to be an adult, take responsibility, and for the two of you to handle it together.

The silence stretched between you, and you shifted uncomfortably. You looked like you wanted to run away. He would not allow it, and held on to your hand in case you did try to bolt.

“I’m keeping it, by the way. That goes without saying,” you said.

“Of course. I want you to keep it. I’ll take care of you, no questions asked,” Jey promised. “We good. I’ma do right by the woman I love. Don’t worry about it, okay?”

You felt your whole world shift on its axis. "Love? Did you just say the woman you love?" 

As he held your shocked stare, Jey Uso finally waved the white flag, accepted defeat. He was tired. Tired of fighting the feelings that harbored inside him for months. Tired of fighting his love for you.

"Yeah, I did, okay?" he answered, a little defensively. "I’m in love with you. There, I said it. I love you. Make fun of me all you want, whatever. But it’s how I feel. How I’ve been feeling for a long time, in all honesty.”

“Is it love, though?” you had to ask. As ecstatic as you were, it all felt too good to be true. “Is it love or is it lust? There’s a difference, and there’s been plenty of lust between us.”

“Trust me, lust ain’t the reason I’ve been worrying about you,” said Jey, “Lust wasn’t the reason I invited you to Key West, a place I’ve never taken anyone else to. Lust ain’t why I’m lookin’ up podcast equipment cuz you talked about wanting to change the ones you have. It’s not lust that makes me hit you up to ask what you want for lunch cuz I know you forget to feed yourself sometimes. Lust ain’t the reason I can’t stop thinking ‘bout you, day and night.”

The way he looked at you pretty much confirmed the truth. He did care for you. He loved you. You held his heart in the palm of your hand. No matter how much you tried to fight it, the energy between you and this man could no longer be ignored. 

"Well, you better love me,” you replied with an infantile pout, crossing your arms stubbornly, “Cuz ain’t no way I'm gonna be in love with you, if you're not in love with me, ya feel me?" 

Jey studied you for a long moment. “So, you’re in love with me?”

You looked up shyly at him, your heart in your eyes. “You know I am.” 

“Nah, say it.”

There was no need to hesitate anymore. “I’m in love with you, Jey Uso. I’ve never fallen this hard for anyone the way I’ve fallen for you. There’s butterflies in my stomach every time I think about you. When you’re not with me, I always wonder how you’re doing. How you’re feeling; hoping you’re okay and your brothers aren’t stressing you out too much,” you giggled. Saying it out loud was surreal, but a weight seemed to lift from your shoulders as you bore your soul to him, like you’d been set free from an unseen, yet heavy burden.

The smile that appeared on Jey’s face could light up the entire northern hemisphere. He leisurely brought his lips to yours in a long-overdue move. You thought you’d be used to his kisses by now, but they never failed to take your breath away. Every press of his lips made your heart sing with joy and happiness. 

“I've missed you, princess. I’ve been miserable without you,” he whispered.

“Same here, babe. I’ve missed you so much,” you replied. His deep brown eyes bored into yours so intimately that goosebumps sprouted on your arms. He kissed you again, repeatedly, as though he couldn’t bear to keep his lips from yours. You could spend the next three days making out with him like this, doing nothing else, and it would be just fine.

“I’d like a girl,” Jey stated out of the blue.

“What?”

“I’d like a daughter. She’ll grow up to be smart and badass and breathtakingly beautiful like her mama.” He tapped your chin affectionately, making your face heat up.

“I really don’t know if I should admit this,” you said, your voice low and coy. “But I’ve had a few dreams about us being together, and we had a baby girl.”

A smirk tugged the corner of his lips. “You dream about me? That’s so hot.”

“Stop,” you blushed even harder, running your fingers through his short hair. “I’ve imagined a boy, too. Handsome, athletic, passionate and generous to a fault. Like his daddy.” 

Touched, Jey cupped your chin and pecked your lips. “I can’t believe I almost messed this up, princess. I’m a fuckin’ fool.”

“Maybe. But you’re my fool.”

“Mm-hmm. All yours.”

You kissed him again, only this time you let everything out; your fear, your desire, your attraction, your love for him, pouring out of you like a waterfall. Jey shared the same energy, and it wasn’t long before each kiss became slower and sexier and devouring, swirling his tongue sensually with yours and making your head spin. As he moaned softly and ran his hands over your body, you did the same with him, desperate to feel him on you and all over you. He soon broke the kiss to lift your shirt over your head and unhook your bra, before grabbing the hem of his tank top and pulling it off, revealing his tattooed upper body. He then helped you out of your shorts and underwear, kissing your thighs until you had to lie back against the cushions to accommodate him. You couldn’t take your eyes off him, and he couldn’t take his eyes off you. As he spread your thighs wide, you shivered when you felt his warm breath dance over your exposed pussy, and nearly wept as he put his tongue on you. 

He often liked to take his time playing with your cunt, like he was now, slowly suckling your clit before licking you up and down your pussy lips with the flat of his tongue. Heat bloomed in your loins as you laced your fingers at the back of his head, submitting to the pleasure he was giving you—pleasure he’d always given you, his oral prowess setting your body ablaze.

“I love you. I love you and our baby,” Jey said, pausing to brush sweet butterfly kisses on your still-flat belly. 

His deep, husky voice as he declared his love for you and your unborn child filled you with so much emotion. “We love you too,” you choked out.

“Ay, you can legit call me Daddy now, though,” he wiggled his eyebrows with a cheeky grin.

You burst out laughing and hit his arm. “You so corny!” Your eyes stayed locked on his, immersing yourself in the feelings, in your deep connection to one another. Moments later, his mouth was on your pussy again, kissing, licking, and suckling you until your back arched off the blanket and your eyes rolled into the back of your head. Your groan was loud and desperate at the feel of his tongue ravenously lapping your juices. “Fuck, baby,” you whimpered.

His response was a soft nibble of your clit that sent a powerful jolt through you which triggered your orgasm. Your thighs squeezed his head as you came undone and shook with the force of your climax. Never one to take pity on you, Jey forced your legs back open and continued eating you out, this time adding his fingers and pumping them in and out of your core. Before your body could recover from one release, you were tumbling into another. By the time he came up for air, you were a sobbing mess, your knees going weak at the sight of his tongue swiping over his lips.

Jey reared back, grinning at your slumped, spread-eagled frame. "You a’ight, baby?" he asked, and the lazy, sated smile on your face made his dick hard. He licked his fingers, gathering the remnants of your sweet honey into his mouth. “You taste amazing, princess. I’ve missed this sweet cunt.”

Sitting up, he pushed his pants and briefs down his thighs simultaneously, and you whimpered at the familiar yet breathtaking sight of his erection, long and hard, pressing between your softened, moist folds. You squirmed beneath him, and Jey raised an eyebrow at your impatience.

“Hmm, you want me, baby? Want this dick?” He rubbed the plum-shaped head of his cock along your wet slit and patted your pussy with it.

“Uh huh. I want you, Daddy. Come here,” you instructed, clawing hungrily at him.

“So needy,” he teased, taking your naked round breasts in his sizable hands.

“You love that shit,” you repeated one of his favorite lines back to him. His thumbs rolled over your peaked nipples, eliciting a sigh from you which turned into a moan when he leaned down to wrap his lips around each one, suckling like a baby. You held your breath as he slowly slid inside your body, connecting you two together. Both of you released a long hiss with every inch that breached your walls. Halfway in, he retreated, making you grunt with barely concealed frustration.

“More!” 

"You ten times as bossy now that you knocked up," he griped playfully. Bracing himself over you, he pushed further inside your heat, but just a little. You wrapped your arms and legs around him, wanting him deeper. Jey cursed under his breath as he inched forwards carefully, cautiously. You could sense his hesitation, but it went largely unnoticed because he felt so good inside you. His lips grazed yours, your foreheads resting together.

"I'm sorry," he said.

You opened your mouth to speak, but he stopped you with another soft kiss.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered again, “Forgive me.”

“Nothing to forgive, baby. Harder,” you moaned. 

“I don’t want to hurt you…The baby…”

“I barely have a belly. I’ll be fine.” You grabbed his face with both hands and looked right at him. “Now fuck. Me.”

As though he’d been unshackled, he rotated his hips more earnestly, making you feel him from all angles, and it took your breath away. He began flicking his hips forward forcefully, and your gasps filled the air as you gave yourself to him. You could feel his control gradually slipping away, and frankly, you wanted it all gone. You wanted him to take you, make you his. 

“Mmm, just like that, Daddy, it feels so good,” you gasped, running your hands up and down his back before going lower to squeeze his ass. Your hips lifted, rocking in rhythm with his. “Take me, baby. Show me who I belong to.”

Your words were the catalyst he needed, the chains of control snapping away until he was fully liberated. He picked up the pace, rocking into you with increased urgency, lost to the pleasure as you were. He clamped his lips over your lengthened neck, sucking and biting you, marking you. His big hands gripped and massaged your thighs before pushing them down to your chest. This position allowed him to stroke you deeper, digging out your walls, making your pussy quite vocal indeed. 

“There she is, there’s my sweet pussy,” Jey talked back to the pussy, caressing your feet planted on his chest. “Daddy’s missed you so much, girl. I can tell you missed Daddy too. I’ma take good care of my pussy now, huh?” His brain was close to short-circuiting because you felt so damn good, but he soldiered on, giving your body what you wanted while you gave his body what he needed. 

You watched a master at work, admiring the way his sexy body glowed in the light, his brows knitted together in concentration. Your pulse quickened and your loins moistened as his dick found every crevice of your pussy. He licked the pad of his thumb and placed it on your swollen clit, flicking the sensitive nub back and forth, making you arch your head back with a long, drawn-out groan as you tightened around him. “Oh my fuckin’ god,” you groaned, digging your fingernails into his arms. 

"That's it, babe. I can feel you, you're so close. Come on my dick," he urged, his raspy voice syrupy sweet and seductive as he pistoned into you over and over and over, "Come for me, baby."

You could do nothing but let the orgasm claim you, and it did. Hard. You cried out as your body detonated again, flooding his dick with your cum. You squeezed your shaking legs together and closed your thighs around his hand on your clit, moaning as the immense pleasure sweeping through you intensified. Jey pulled out and allowed you a minute to recover, looking down proudly at his groin area. 

“That’s what I’m talkin’ bout. You made a mess on me, pretty girl. Got all that whipped cream on my dick.” He gripped his heavy shaft, his fist gliding up and down the length to spread your juices all over it. 

“You made me come so hard, Daddy. My orgasms feel stronger now,” you breathed, resting back on your elbows. 

“Cuz of that baby I put in you, huh?” he smirked, “You gon’ get this work more often, then. I want you to feel good all the time, babe.”

The kiss he gave you let you know he wasn’t quite done with you yet. But neither were you with him. Sitting up properly, you quickly took over the kiss, suckling his lips in that teasing, sensual way that always drove him crazy. Gripping the back of his head, you nibbled his bottom lip then sucked his tongue, swallowing his moan when your fingers wrapped around his length. He inhaled sharply as you dragged your hand up and down, creating a delicious friction on his shaft. You kept your eyes on him, your kiss-swollen lip between your teeth as you stroked him. His breathing was heavy, showing how aroused he was. Aroused by you. 

“I love you,” you smiled at him. Those three words came so easily to you now. You liked it.

Jey’s eyes softened, and he grasped your face with both hands for another kiss. “I love you too.” Kissing became more passionate and sensual, and for a few minutes, the two of you just focused on exploring each other's mouths all over again. You melted in his arms, dizzy from his incredible kisses, slow and thorough, his tongue slipping in at the right times, pouring his love into you.

Changing your positions, Jey gently laid you on your belly and adjusted your knees. Grabbing a pillow, he positioned it underneath your upper body. “You good?” he asked. 

“Yes, Daddy,” you smiled, enjoying how extra attentive he was. You whined softly as he roamed your body with his hands, paying special attention to your stomach, hips and backside. His little groan as he squeezed your ass cheeks made you hiss with need. His touch was gentle, yet firm with his worship of your body. Through his hands, you felt his lust, his desire, his yearning for you. 

Fisting his dick, Jey’s eyes glimmered with lust at the sight of your wetness. You both struggled to hold back your moans as he slowly sank all the way inside you, making your pussy yield to him. Leaning over you and lacing his fingers with yours, he kept his thrusts slow this time, focusing them on being deep. How he missed being inside you, missed indulging in the softness of your body, your backside, your skin. With every couple of thrusts, he held himself inside you, circling his hips against your pillow-soft ass, making you grip all of him in a tight seal. Your trembles encouraged him to repeat the action. 

“Mmm, you like that, baby? You love when I get deep in this pussy?” he asked, reaching around you to cup your breast, playing with its softness and extending your pleasure, all while pounding you steadily from the back.

“Uhhhnnn, fuck…” you whimpered, reaching behind you to grab his hip. This position was more devastating than you ever expected. He was so hard and deep and making you so wet you could hear your pussy. He snatched back your wayward hand and returned it to its place in front of you, gripping your fingers in his. His entire body weight was on top of yours, his legs trapping your own so you couldn’t fuck him back like you liked to. You had no choice but to take it; every inch of him deep inside your wet, aching pussy, filling you. All you could do was moan and groan, speechless, breathless. You felt so wonderfully helpless lying beneath him, being thoroughly ravished by this man, the most brutally sensual man you’ve ever met.

His own sounds of pleasure reverberated through your being as his hips worked you into delirium. His fingers curled around your throat to pull your head up next to his, and that was when he started slamming into you. Your lips parted, panting, as you felt his hardness even more intensely now, his big beautiful cock meeting your sweet spot. Soon, you were shattering around him in another powerful climax. He wanted everything you had and you gave it all to him with no hesitation. 

"Yeah, princess, come all over this dick, unnhh, I'm drownin' in this pussy, babe," he panted in your ear, and when you shivered, he kissed your cheek before brushing your lips together. He was burying himself inside you, making you throb around his impressive size as it ravaged your g-spot. When you succumbed to him again, trembling underneath him, you thought you were going to pass out from pleasure. Your tremors had barely subsided when he began to move again, driving his hips forward, chasing his own release.

"Jey! Oh shit," you whined, groaning with every deep, manic stroke, your body still sensitive from coming so much and so hard in such a short time. You could tell he was losing it, and he was taking you with him. You would happily go wherever he wanted you to go.

His breathing picked up with his approaching orgasm. "Aww, I'm 'bout to come for you, baby, fuck, I'm nuttin'..." he gasped, pounding you frantically until white lightning zipped through his bones. His orgasmic moan almost drowned out yours as he came hard, his cum gushing inside your weeping pussy. Exhaling with satisfaction, he pressed his lips to the back of your neck and slowly pulled out of you, his hands smoothing over your ass before curling an arm around your waist and easing you upright. He kissed you hard, wrapping his arms around you, and you remained in each other's embrace, enjoying your reunion just a little longer.

“I love you, baby,” he mumbled against your lips. It felt so good to say those words to you.

“I love you too, Daddy,” you whispered, kissing him back. “Got any food?” 

“Oh, right. You must be hungry.” Reluctantly parting his lips from yours, he helped you out of the fort, you dusted stray rose petals off each other before walking together, naked, to the kitchen. The sky outside had darkened considerably, meaning you had spent quite some time making up and losing yourselves in each other. Jey turned on the kitchen lights and opened the oven to retrieve a large platter of finger food that made your stomach rumble. Mozzarella sticks, Buffalo wings, meatballs, canapé, among others; all your favorites. Placing the tray on the countertop, he moved the bottle of red wine away with a sheepish smile. “I guess this is out,” he quipped, earning a laugh from you as you sat on a stool next to him.

“It’s okay, you didn’t know,” you said, looking back at the decorations in the living room. “This is so pretty. Did Kayla help you with it?”

“Not just her. My brothers and Roman helped, and they did such a great job. Jimmy found this place online. I knew you’d love it so I booked it. Roman flew all of us down to set it up, and Kayla handled getting you here.”

“Gosh, it must have cost so much.” 

He shrugged nonchalantly, grabbing two small plates and placing one of every food item in each of them. "Money ain't no issue, princess. I would give you the sun and the moon if you asked me to."  

Aww, how amazing was he? "I only want you, Jey," you assured him, gently rubbing his back, "But this was such a wonderful surprise. I love it, it's so romantic. Thank you."

"Of course. Anything for you, baby." He leaned down to give you a short, sweet kiss. He stared at you for a beat, smiling that beautiful smile of his. "God, you're beautiful."

You blushed yet again and stroked his face tenderly. "You're handsome," you returned the compliment. Another thought came to you, one far more important than Airbnb costs and logistics. "So...how do we break the news about us out to the world?" you asked him.

Jey picked out a mozzarella stick and fed it to you. “Well, the world pretty much knows about us already. As for our baby, we do it however we want, whenever we want. But only when you’re ready, and after we tell our parents first. It’ll break my mama’s heart if she finds out about her grandbaby through the internet.”

“Mine too,” you agreed.

“I bet. Also, I’d like you to come live with me,” he added, carefully gauging your reaction. “I wanna be closer to you and be involved in every step of your pregnancy. I know you like your space and your independence, but I wanna be there for you. I don’t want to miss anything. Let me take care of you.”

You liked this a lot. Making plans with him, mapping out your future together. “I’d like that,” you agreed, enraptured by his easygoing, happy smile. “How are you so chill about becoming a parent? I damn sure am not. I’m scared, Jey.” You bit your lip as the nerves bubbled within you.

“Honestly? I am too,” he admitted, taking your hand and pressing it to his lips. “But we’ll work it out, together.” 

“If you think I’m a bitch now, wait till I’m deep into this pregnancy,” you warned.

Jey snorted and stepped in between your legs to hug you. “I won’t love you any less, baby. You’re going to be an amazing, beautiful momma. And now that we’ve gotten to this point, I realized we still ain't official. Would you mind if I become your boyfriend?”

He then hit you with the cutest puppy dog eyes you’ve ever seen. How could you ever resist that face?

“Only if I can be your girlfriend,” you replied just as cutely, fluttering your lashes at him.

“Hell yeah!” he exclaimed, the two of you cackling together before sharing another heartfelt kiss. Resting his hand on your belly, he gazed at your face, his glistening eyes finally overflowing. You began to well up again as you leaned in to kiss away his tears, even as yours mingled with his own. 

“I hope these are happy tears,” you half-laughed, half-sobbed, wiping his eyes before doing the same with your own. “Mine definitely are.”

"With you, it'll always be happy," Jey vowed. This was cathartic, poignant even; owning your vulnerability, something that neither of you would have exposed to each other just months ago...It was another subtle display of your growing love for one another.

Wrapping your arms around your boyfriend's neck, you held him tight and stared deep into his warm chocolate eyes. "I love you so much. You're going to be a great daddy," you told him.

Jey smiled warmly at you, his girlfriend. “I love you too, princess,” he answered, brushing his lips tenderly against your forehead. “I’ll be the best partner and father in the world, I promise. I ain’t goin’ nowhere. It’s me and you for life now. I gotchu.”

The sincerity in his voice as he uttered those words to you would be etched into your memory. A myriad of emotions trickled through every fiber of your being as you processed this outcome. After all the bickering and fighting, only for your destiny to be tied forever with Jey Uso, the man you never imagined you would fall in love with. It really was funny how life worked out sometimes. 

THE END. FINALLY.

------------------

The end, guys! I’m in my feelings right now. I loved writing this so much😭😭😭

What did you think of the entire series? Which chapter was your fave? Was the smut too much, lol. Do you think what they have is real? Do you want more Jey stuff?

Thanks to EVERYONE who liked and reviewed and gave suggestions and ideas. I appreciated them all so much!

Banner made by me. Credit to owners of the other pics and gifs.

Please leave more comments! I love comments! This is the last one so let me get all that energy, fellow readers!

[commanderfoxdeservesbetter]

🥹 ngl i keep running back to your page, and i finally followed bc i keep forgetting, but like…

do you have more of that clone witness protection program? i just reread them AND THE THORN ONE, and i just- i gotta know au wise. How does everyone react to finding out what Fox did and what it cost him (ie. him saving Fives unintentionally got Thorn killed)

So if anyone wants to read on it, this post has all the parts linked

And love that you enjoyed the AU!! It’s one of my favorites so to hear you kept up with it makes me happy 🥹

This take is interesting to think about - honestly if we want to go this route, including all the parts above, they would found out more towards the end of the war (the beginning of the finale with Sidious)

And it goes like this

Cody has lost faith in the Republic way before Rex “died” but now he’s determined to do something about it. He has gathered all the CCs together, plus the Corrie CCs except for Fox (not that Cody didn’t invite him but he has a different mission for him and his vod’ika and also Fox couldn’t make it so he sent Stone and Thire instead), and lets them know his decision and plan to cease from Republic forces

“I’m taking my men out.”

Shock was heard in the empty silence. Bacara is the first to speak. “What about the Jedi?”

Cody shakes his head. “Whoever I grab is going with me.”

“You can’t take them all.” Neyo’s stare is hard, unyielding. Cody stares back.

“With Kenobi and Skywalker gone, the rest will follow.”

Ponds huffs out a laugh. Cody slants him a look when he bangs his hand on the table. “Count me in. Windu and I are down for a little … mutiny.” His grin is wide, fearless.

Thire taps his comm. “if you can get us a Venator, I can let Vos know to retrieve the Jedi at the Temple.”

Bly stands up, his seat clattering behind him. “Aayla and I can help with that.” He ignores the small “it’s Aayla now, is it?” behind his back. “They won’t want to leave their home without a reason.” He speaks before Cody can get any words out of his open mouth. “A solid, logical reason. You wanting to find Rex-”

“That’s not the reason I’m leaving.”

“Isn’t it?” Heads turn towards the new voice. Fox enters the small room with barely a sound, footsteps silent in his path towards his Ori’vod. “I mean,” and he chuckles harsh. “Why leave now? Why not when your General died? Or your men were ambushed? Or perhaps after Umbara when they shot each other?”

Cody grits his teeth, anger flashing across his face. His expression turns smooth a second later but every CC saw it. “Don’t talk about the war like you understand it.”

Fox tilts his head, almost offended at the implied statement. He however lets it go in pursuit of his other point. “You never cared before-”

“I always cared.”

“Until Rex’ika-”

“You have no right to call him that.”

“-went and got himself killed.”

Fox rolls with the impact Cody throws at him. His hands clutch his brother’s blacks in an awful attempt at a hug. Cody however has one hand around his neck, ready to snap. His other yanks at the chest armor, pulling Fox up just a breath. “Don’t talk about him that way.”

Fox doesn’t speak, hardly dares to breath in the face of his brother’s wrath. “Leave,” he commands to the room.

The CCs watch but don’t move until Cody yells out. “GET OUT!”

Wolffe is the first to move. Pats Cody’s back on his way out. “Don’t kill him, Vod.” Fox rolls his eyes at the unhelpful comment.

The other CCs follow him out until it’s just them. Even Thire and Stone, who passed glances at him, left.

Cody is breathing hard, his panting harsh in the room. Fox feels his hand curl against his neck and thinks how pathetic.

“Get off,” he demands and Cody snarls. Fox’ eyes flash in anger and he snarls right back.

It leads to them wrestling, Cody losing his grip on his neck and instead trying to break the bones in his arm. Fox bites at the forearm near his mouth, and tastes a hint of iron. They scratch and hit and wrestle and the anger that came from Thorn’s death leave Fox, slowly but surely. His grief replaces it fast, as does his guilt when he sees tears in Cody’s eyes.

Would Cody act this way if Fox died? Would Fox if Thorn hadn’t?

Fox finds himself hugging his Ori’vod as he sobs at the loss of Rex. Great, wracking sobs that Fox himself wishes to return. He licks his lips and shares a piece of grief. “Thorn is dead.”

“I’m sorry,” Cody mutters through stuttered breathing.

Fox however decides that it’s enough to start the conversation. “He believed in the Protection Program. Saved many Vod cause of it.” Cody listens intently, his cries mingling into silence. “Fives needed to live. We both knew that.” He hesitates before stating his opinion. “I won’t make his death go in vain by hiding.”

Cody pushes off his brother, stares up at the ceiling above them. He taps his fingers once, twice, before asking, “would Rex-”

“He’s not in it,” Fox lies through his teeth and hates the guilt that rising at it. Cody can’t know. Not yet.

It would just cause more trouble, and potentially Rex’s death. Fox can’t allow that right now. Not when Cody isn’t thinking clearly.

Cody stays silent. The moments creep by and Fox’s heart beats faster. He wonders if his Ori’vod can see through his lies.

Cody’s words break his anxiety process. “Then we kill Palpatine.” He says it nonchalantly, in response to their previous conversation.

Fox’ lips twitch. His chest hitches. And then he’s laughing before he can think. Cody turns his head, joins in when he realizes they aren’t laughing for fun.

[kaminocasey]

Love, Sex, & Magic Part 3

Summary: Jesse takes you to 79s, his brothers find out about the two of you and are more than supportive.

Pairing: Jesse x F Jedi!Reader, Fives x Reader, Rex x Reader

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI; THIS FIC ISN'T FOR EVERYONE. If you don't support the things in this fic, don't read it, please. Smut, public sex, exhibitionism, fingering, unprotected p in v (wrap it up, friends), multiple partners (sorta, kinda?)

WC: 3K

A/N: I don't know how I've cranked out a Part 3 this fast with a part 4 planned as well... but here we are.

Part One │ Part Two

LSM Playlist

TAGLIST FORM

The cab ride to 79s is almost unbearable for you. Jesse keeps edging his calloused fingers closer and closer to your warmth and you think you’re about to break. You’re pretty sure he’s still got your panties in his pocket, so if he wanted to, he could just tease your bare pussy, which feels like it’s dripping with his cum from earlier anyway.

“Jesse… please.” You whisper, glancing nervously at the cabbie, afraid that he could recognize you.

He smirks down at you, wrapping an arm around you, pulling you into his side. “Fine. I’ll behave for now.”

“Thank you.” You laugh, looking out the window at the Coruscant skyline passing by.

“You’ll be begging for it soon enough.” Jesse murmurs in your ear and goosebumps scatter all over your skin. 

You bite back a whimper and cross your legs, clenching your legs together. It’s incredible, really. Your day started out so normally. And now here you are ready for Jesse to bury his fingers inside of you again for the what, third time today? 

You’re definitely not complaining, though. 

When you get to 79s, Jesse helps you out of the cab and follows you inside, trying to keep his hands to himself in case someone’s watching. And with the way you’re looking, he knows they are.

The music is loud as always, which you don’t typically care for, but you find Fives, Kix, Rex, and Cody at the back booth, all smirking knowingly at you and Jesse walking in. Rex gets up to let you and Jesse into the booth.

You give Fives a warning glare and he puts his hands up in surrender before sliding you a shot. 

“Finished with today’s reports, Jess?” Rex asks with a suggestive smile.

“Didn’t get around to it, cap.” Jesse shrugs, smirking, and you look up at him. “They already know.”

The men around you all chuckle and warmth floods your face anyway. 

“Lighten up, Commander. Not much gets past us, anyway.” Fives pats you on the shoulder.

“I’m more concerned about it getting around to Master Kenobi or Master Skywalker.” You take the shot and down it, clenching your eyes slightly as the burn teases your throat. You don’t need to get wasted, just enough to loosen up a bit.

“Your secret is safe with us, ma’am.” Rex promises you.

You look at Commander Cody and he winks at you from across the table, indicating that your secret is safe with him as well. You choose to believe them because they’ve never given you a reason to not trust them.

“I’m honestly more worried about this one.” You nod toward Fives while looking at Rex, amused.

“Hey!” Fives complains.

Kix nods in agreement, though. Rex changes the subject and starts to ask Cody about the 212th’s last battle a couple days ago. Cody starts talking and all the men’s attention immediately goes to him. Except Jesse’s, who’s warm hand starts rubbing your thigh. Suddenly, you can’t focus on what the other commander’s saying, only on the firm hand that just keeps getting closer to your eager warmth. 

The need for Jesse starts to pool into your stomach again and he gives your thigh a rough squeeze, knowingly. You try to keep your gasp in, starting to clench your legs again but Jesse’s hand slides over to stop your other thigh. 

Glancing up at him, you give him a pleading look like “Really, right here in front of all your vod?” He understands and nods. He doesn’t care. Which makes you unable to care as well, you suppose. Spreading your thighs slightly more for him, he slips his fingers closer to your bare warmth. 

You let out the softest whimper that’s thankfully drowned out by the music. Except for Fives who’s sitting right next to you and happens to look down. He looks at Jesse with raised eyebrows. 

Jesse shrugs with a soft nod, giving Fives permission to watch. He knows that if you weren’t okay with it, you’d say something. It surprises you that he’s letting Fives watch, though. Earlier, he seemed so protective and jealous, but now-

Oh…

He’s letting Fives know who you belong to.

Jesse catches your eye and when you bite your lip, he smirks. When he slides his fingers through your folds, you let out a low moan. 

“Quiet, cyar’ika.” Jesse hums in your ear. “Understand?”

You nod, looking up at him with begging eyes. 

“Good girl.” He kisses your forehead and then turns his attention back to what Cody’s saying. 

When you look at Fives, he’s not even looking at you, but you see the tent in his pants, so you know he’s been watching at least a little bit. You lean into Jesse, tucking your head into his neck. Refraining from moaning out loud when he pushes his fingers into you, you close your eyes and let out a soft breath, clenching your fingers around Jesse’s mesh shirt. 

“Look at her all flustered.” Rex chuckles, taking a drink.

“Such a pretty sight.” Fives nods.

“Lucky man.” Kix compliments Jesse.

You open your eyes and look at the table, finding all of them watching you. Warmth floods your body and you accidentally clench around Jesse’s fingers, making him chuckle.

“She loves being praised.” Jesse grins. “Don’t you cyare?”

You look up at him, wide eyed. 

“It’s okay, you can tell them.” He grins. 

You look at all the men staring at you as Jesse thrusts his fingers in and out of you perfectly. “I-I do.” 

“You should’ve seen her earlier. Riding me with an entire audience watching.” He smirks, kissing your temple, proudly. “I think she secretly likes being watched.”

“Not so secret anymore, is it?” You huff when Jesse curls his fingers into that spongy part inside of you, making you whimper.

All the men keep their eyes on you, smirking knowingly, waiting for you to cum all over Jesse’s hand. Your eyes meet Cody’s, your fellow commander that you’ve worked with a lot. He’s leaning back into the seat with his arm around the back of the booth, watching you intently. He’s one of your favorites to work with and having him see you like this is something entirely different.

As if you suddenly get shy, you look down at Jesse’s hand. You know you’re about to cum. You can feel the familiar warmth pooling into your stomach, sending heat all throughout your body. 

“Maker, she’s soaked.” Jesse tells the group and your eyes snap up to his. “Can Fives give you a hand?”

“What?” You ask, not sure you heard right.

“Fives, play with her clit for me.” Jesse grins. “But just remember she’s mine.”

“Sure thing, vod.” Fives smirks. “That okay with you, mesh’la?”

You nod, nervously, still looking at Jesse. His fingers speed up and you can hear the wet sounds over the music now. As you try to keep your moans down, Fives’ fingers find their way to your clit, beginning to rub firm circles over the sensitive bud. 

How is this real life? How is this happening? You know you’re not going to last much-

“Oh fuck…” You feel yourself get thrown over your edge and immediately grip the edge of the table with one hand while clinging to Jesse with the other. 

You ride out your orgasm while grinding against Jesse and Fives’ hands, your body still slightly over-stimulated from earlier. 

“Good job, Commander.” Rex winks when you look up at him. 

You nod slightly, slumping against Jesse, spent. He places sweet kisses all over your face, praising you.

“You did so good for us.” He murmurs between kisses. “So fucking pretty.”

“You are.” You smile with closed eyes, kissing his bicep before wrapping your arms around his.

He chuckles and you quietly listen to the guys talk around you. Fives slides you a glass of water and you thank him.

“Sure thing.” He smirks.

“Stop it.” You roll your eyes.

“Stop what?” He raises his eyebrows innocently.

“Looking at me like that.” You laugh.

“You wanna trade places, cyar’ika?” Jesse asks you and you nod, just to tease Fives. 

Jesse slides you across his lap and you don’t miss the evident bulge in his pants as you cross over to settle between him and Rex.

“Aw, come on.” Fives grins over at you. “I think she’s just afraid she’ll prefer me to you, Jess.”

“Watch it, Fives.” Rex warns him. 

“Don’t worry, Cap. I’m here to patch him up.” Kix teases, patting Fives on the back.

“Yeah, he’s gonna need it.” Jesse huffs. 

Fives puts his hands up in surrender and picks his drink back up at the same time that Tup and Dogma approach the table. Cody scoots over to let Dogma in.

“Scoot over, would ya.” Tup pats Rex and Jesse picks you back up and sits you in his lap. 

His hardened length pushes up against your ass and you can’t help but grind back against him, making his arms fly around you. Only you hear the low groan that he lets out. You smile to yourself, realizing you have the upper hand.

“What did we miss?” Tup asks after ordering a drink.

“Well, the Commander-” Fives starts but Jesse shoots him a warning glare. 

 You all know that Dogma is a stickler for rules, so if he found out what just happened, there’s no telling what he’d do. Probably short circuit and then go running to Master Skywalker. 

“Nothing. You missed nothing.” You smile with a shrug. 

“That’s not nothing.” Tup murmurs across Rex, referring to you sitting in Jesse’s lap. 

“Let it go, Tup’ika.” Jesse smirks. 

Tup nods and settles back into his seat at the end just in time for the waitress to bring his drink to him. 

“Hey Commander?” Kix leans across Fives with a grin.

“Yes, Kix?” You smile back.

“Do you think Jesse could spare you for a dance?” He asks.

You lean to the side a bit so you can look back at Jesse who looks like he’s actually struggling. You realize it’s because of the way you brushed against his length to turn to look at him.

“Is that alright?” You ask him. 

“Sure.” Jesse chuckles. “If you think you can walk.”

“I think I can.” You playfully roll your eyes. 

“Then, I’m gonna have to fix that, aren’t I?” Jesse muses. 

With warm cheeks, you make sure that Dogma and Tup aren’t looking and kiss Jesse on the cheek. “I’ll be back for you to fix it.” 

Jesse nods, smiling as Tup and Rex let you out while Cody and Dogma let Kix out of the booth. He can’t tear his eyes away from you. 

“You’ve got it bad, huh?” Rex asks, patting him on the back.

“I’m in love with her.” Jesse takes a sip of his drink. “I’m absolutely gonna marry her.” 

“How?” Fives asks. “With what rights?” 

“We’ll find a way.” Jesse shrugs as he watches you have a good time dancing with Kix. 

Kix isn’t a bad dancer, but you can’t tear your eyes off your partner. Jesse can’t take his gaze off of you either. It’s like earlier when he told you he’d be watching. You love having his eyes on you. It’s like you can physically feel them on you as if they’re his own hands. It sends tingles down your spine.

“There’s actually a reason I asked you to dance.” Kix tells you, spinning you to the music and then pulling you a bit closer.

“Is there?” You ask with a curious smile.

You sense concern and anxiety from him. Two things that you’ve never sensed from the medic before. 

He nods. “I heard General Skywalker talking to General Kenobi earlier... About you and Jesse.” 

“Oh… What about us?” You swallow but your throat feels way too dry.

“That they know something is going on between the two of you. That today was a sort of test.” Kix tells you.

And you failed… 

You’d never really expected to become a Master anyway… So, now you have your answer. It’d be better to leave the Order, right? The biggest question is if Jesse really meant it that he’d leave the GAR. He was a great arc trooper… well respected… But if he wanted more, you’d gladly give him more. You know you’d give him whatever he wanted.

“Why are you telling me this and not Jesse?” You ask Kix.

“Well, you’re our commander and I respect you. And also, I think that Jesse would try to throw himself under the bus before he’d let you get in any sort of trouble.” Kix spins you again.

You nod in agreement. “Thank you for telling me.” 

“Of course, Commander.” He nods, smiling kindly.

You always liked Kix. He’s so kind and incredibly intelligent. He’d do anything for any of his vod, including risking his life to pull bodies to safety, alive or dead. He’s about as loyal as they come. 

“Would you mind if I-” You nod toward Jesse and Kix nods, understanding.s

“Of course, ma’am.” Kix squeezes your hand before letting you return back to the table.

Walking back to the table, you try to think of what you’re going to tell Jesse. 

“Miss me?” Jesse smirks up at you from the table when Tup and Rex let you back in. 

“Of course.” You take your seat back in his lap, his arms finding their way back around your torso, holding you against him. 

You suppose since you failed Skywalker and Kenobi’s stupid test, there’s no sense in hiding your feelings for the arc trooper anymore, right? 

You lean back toward Jesse’s ear so that only he can hear you. “Skywalker knows about us… They were testing me earlier… and since I failed… I will no longer be a part of the Order.” 

“Well, since you’re not my commander anymore…” He pulls your face to his, kissing you. 

It seems he has the same idea as you, kissing you even deeper, not caring in the slightest who’s watching. You sense a deep love radiating from him. And desire from the rest of his brothers. They all deserve better. 

“What is happening right now?” You hear Dogma ask, confused.

“I knew it.” Tup laughs. 

“No, you didn’t.” Dogma looks at Tup, bewildered.

Jesse’s hand finds its way back to your warmth and you let out a soft gasp against his mouth. He groans hungrily against your lips and momentarily, his hand leaves your chin. You feel him undoing his pants and suddenly, you thank the Maker for the dark lighting in this miscreant booth, so that people can’t see what’s about to happen. 

You ease yourself up slightly, feeling the tip of his hardened length teasing your entrance.

“Sit down.” Jesse demands and you listen, obediently sinking down on his cock. “Good girl.”

The sheer girth of his cock stretches you perfectly over him and he struggles to hold his own delicious moans in. You let out a desperate huff, wanting more than anything for him to start fucking you against this table, not caring who’s watching.

“Maker…” You hear Rex groan. 

Jesse pulls away to smirk at his captain. “Feel how wet she is, ori’vod.” 

Rex looks to you for a final confirmation and you nod against Jesse’s cheek. The 501st captain’s fingers practically fly to your clit, so eager to feel you, unable to tear his eyes away as he begins to expertly tease you. His low groan is indication enough that he likes what he sees. The whimper you let out is muffled against Jesse’s face, so he pulls you away to face the table. 

“You can let them hear you, cyare. It’s alright.” Jesse kisses up your back, leaving a trail of warmth in their wake. 

You’re surprised that you can’t sense any sort of jealousy from Jesse like you did earlier. You can’t help but wonder what changed. Maybe when you declared your love for him, he realized that no matter what, he’s the one you truly want. That you’ll choose him every single time. 

“Where are you, Cyar’ika?” Jesse murmurs in your ear, thrusting into you, snapping your thoughts back to the present. 

“Right here.” You groan softly, resting your head back on his shoulder, grinding against his hips.

His hands graze confidently up your sides, to your front, settling on your breasts. When you open your eyes, you find all of the men’s eyes on you, pupils blown with lust, need and want radiating from each of them. 

“Do you want to fuck my vod?” Jesse chuckles. 

You shake your head, surprised that he’d even suggest a thing. 

“Do you want them to watch me fuck you?” He asks, smirking at all of his brothers. “Show them who you belong to?” 

You nod, heat coursing from your cheeks to your warmth at the thought of them all watching you ride Jesse like you did earlier. 

“You think you can be a good girl and give us one more orgasm and then we can head out?” He asks, kissing your bare shoulders. 

You nod, already feeling that needy warmth throbbing in your core. You’ve pleasantly lost track of how many times you’ve cum today. Rex’s fingers press firmly and vehemently over your clit, his speed starting to quicken and your body starts to involuntarily shake as Jesse lifts you up and down on his cock, fucking you so good, so magnificently that it takes no time at all before you’re coming apart on him, your arousal coating his cock as you clench, begging for Jesse, by name. 

You can tell he’s holding back his own orgasm as you bite your hand at the same time that he’s groping your breasts, slowing his thrusts until you stop shaking. 

“Fucking perfect…” Jesse praises you, his hands sliding down your front to settle on your thighs. “An… absolute angel.”

“You’re struggling, aren’t you?” You tease him, panting softly.

“You have no idea.” He grins, kissing you until you’re breathless.

TAGS:

@twistedstitcher27 @misogirl828 @rebel-finn @grievouus @madameminor @dumfanting @rain-on-kamino @corona-one @tecker @ladykatakuri @brynhildrmimi @the-sith-in-the-sky-with-diamond @zoeykallus @maulslittlemeowmeow @littlemousedroid @arctrooper69 @rexxdjarin @agenteliix @padawancat97 @hated-by-me @sleepingsun501 @quigonswife8 @idlenesses @redheadgirl @dnxgma @themcuwriter @ashotofspotchka @sunshinesdaydream @crosshairsimp73 @ariadnes-red-thread @rosmariner @heyitsaloy @starstofillmydream @high-ct5555 @echos-girlfriend @sleepywych @nekotaetae @justanothersadperson93 @brownstalebread @aconstructofamind @book-of-baba-fett @chopper-base @palliateclaws @501st-rexster @dead-poolz @nahoney22 @where-is-my-mind-tho @jediknightjana @erishimoon @witching3

[samandcolbypost]

Sam stop being stubborn and listen to Colby for once. DONT GO ALONE. 3 years ago taught you nothing? 😭

I don’t really think it’s accurate but at least the first part meats the first part is what I’m talking about.

Sagittarius

“It's not that they are stubborn per se; it's that they won't listen to anyone who tells them what to do. Sagittarians are adventurous and open-minded, so they're willing to consider new ideas and learn from people. It's just these free-spirited individuals cannot be controlled or manipulated.”

Sam really needs to listen. It wasn’t fair for Colby because it was supposed to be both of yours big moment, but I don’t think it’s right to judge Sam especially because it was something he needed to find out too. He could’ve just woke up Colby and at least let him know, especially for safety since no one else was awake during that time and something could’ve happened. Colby was mad and he had every right to be, also because Sam casually mentioned it while they went to the basement. 🤦🏻‍♀️ But they communicated in a healthy way so that’s something at least. (I’m actually glad to see that because now we know what they do when they fight and it’s even more of a reason to love them) yea show us how it’s done! Some thing we all need to learn from.

—

Colby threw the tick down only to go back in and grab water. 💀

—

Okay everything I just wrote didn’t even save soo I’m going to have to try again. 🙃

—

I love this down to earth moment after what they were told about “were okay” moment.

—

I hope Colby is okay going into the woods especially since they’ve been warned. We see him running at the end so I’m hoping that means he goes back to the house.. also hoping they have walkie talkies just in case.

—

We all know Colby is some kind connection because he feels energy sometimes, but can we talk about how twice Sam has done the Estes method he started shaking. I don’t know if it’s a connection per say, but it’s definitely weird. He felt like something was pushing him down, and the last time he felt he couldn’t even move. (I felt like Colby was still mad from the prior conversation because when he said “what were you doing” I was like 👀 I’m glad he realized to take him out of it at least, because I couldn’t even see him shaking on camera) I might be over analyzing why I think Colby said that too but anyways.

—

I don’t mind Larray and Bella. I don’t think it added anything to the video like some have said, but overall it wasn’t horrible.

—

I still am sticking to my box theory with Cody and Satori. I don’t think they’re horrible people but I also think they are lying up a storm. I feel somehow sound can be manipulated to sound closer and further away, and a lot of the sounds comes from Cody’s area..

—

Sam and Colby tried the method and it didn’t work except for what they heard at the very last moment. I kinda wished it worked for them but I figured. 😕

—

The camera equipment not working was kinda freaky I won’t lie. The fact it does this a lot even with their batteries being full. Also who or what was coming up the stairs?? I feel it could be the 4th tour guide or Zach, but how Colby responded on Twitter says otherwise. I guess the spirit just wanted to make an appearance in the video.

—

I’m rewatching clips as I do this to remember (which is how this got deleted to begin with 🤦🏻‍♀️). Anyways, someone just posted a clip and you can see something outside the window when Colby is standing by the window, either about to go into the well or when they finished the Estes method idk.

—

Props for them staying in the rooms by themselves I could never. Especially when it’s a haunted house and knowing anything could happen.

—

I could never go to the graveyard like they both did, and Colby going in the next video. Hell no. I don’t do bugs, ghost, the dark, and especially when I am warned.

—

Dave being a Dave 🤪😡 I’m kinda scared of Dave but I hope it’s just messing with them.

I don’t know how spirits can travel through the water? I thought they can’t leave the house unless they died outside or something. So I’m not sure how the aquifer could let them travel.

Somewhat of an Ep 2 review because I didn’t do it

Believe: Josh getting touched because he wasn’t even moving, the scrapping noise, the door opening.

Not believe: Satori and Cody, the one small door opening on its own. Do the owners/caregivers just stay there or something? I can’t say anything about this house if they are just chilling in a random room while S&C investigate. I think they stay in a different house but I also don’t know for sure.

I’m on the fence about the noises again I wish I could know the truth.

[fanfic-phoenix]

There is No Past Tense

Ratine: Teen

Word Count: 1602

Read on AO3

My Dearest, You are right. I did not expect to hear from you.

*

Satine is gone. Obi-Wan has a box.

My Dearest,

You are right.  I did not expect to hear from you.  I presumed our parting to be a permanent one - we both have our duties, all those things we cannot put aside, and temptation is…

Part of me wants to call it unwise, but I cannot call it unwelcome.  I ought to have burned your letter the moment it arrived; I shouldn’t even have read it.  We agreed to be as strangers - regret should not have weakened our resolve.  Yet here I am, not only reading but replying, because the truth is that since your departure, I have ached, and I can only feel grateful you had the courage to write.  I am not sure I would have.

There is so much, already, that I wish to tell, but I am afraid to slip, to betray us; one careless word, it all comes crashing down.  Am I paranoid?  Who would think to look for flimsi letters these days?  Yet I cannot shake the feeling of eyes against the back of my neck.  Therefore I write nothing of what I do, except that I wish you were here to do it too.  Nothing of my thoughts, except that they dwell on you.

It seems half-pointless to send this, with no news within it, nothing of myself. 

Only, I suppose, that I am thinking of you, that I love you still.  You will value it, I hope, as much as I valued what you sent.

Yours--

*

He didn’t know what it was when it arrived, and he hardly had the time to investigate.  The 212th were shipping out in the evening and there were still a thousand things to do, people to talk to, papers to sign, meetings to attend, senators to soothe and cajole and try not to vomit his disgust onto…  Obi-Wan fell into bed at night and thought nothing of the box he’d shoved into the corner of the room, having done nothing but reach out to the Force and ask, politely, if it was a bomb.

The Force said no, and so it could wait.  It would have to wait.

In the morning, after almost tripping over it as he shuffled to the ‘fresher, he wondered whether he could take it onto the ship, investigate it there.  There was, after all, no telling when they’d next get shore leave, much less on Coruscant - it might not be dangerous, but that didn’t necessarily mean it could be ignored indefinitely.

And then, of course, he admitted as he brushed his teeth, there was his curiosity.  A greedy, reckless thing, much starved by the endless battlefields.  Nothing to study for miles - Anakin had stepped on his last specimen, and there’d been nothing so interesting since.  He needed the mystery, needed something to keep his mind occupied between the planning and the pushes, something that didn’t stink of death and corpses.

He’d taken too long considering it - he wasn’t late, but he wasn’t early, which for Obi-Wan practically was late.  His door opened, Anakin and Cody walked in.  To check on him, no doubt.  They were…

Worried about him.  He might as well admit it.  They were worried about him.  He’d developed an unfortunate habit of getting lost in his own head, his own thoughts, his own reminiscences, and they were frightened by it.  Afraid that, one day, he might not come back.

“Gentlemen,” Obi-Wan said in greeting, only to blink as he realised how hoarse his voice was.  Had it been so long since he’d spoken?  No, he’d spoken to the senators only last night.  He must have spoken more than usual.

“General.”  Cody looked him up and down, assessing.  To a non-Jedi, he might have seemed subtle, expression carefully blank, but he telegraphed it all in the Force.

He did that on purpose, of course.  Obi-Wan had taught him how to shield.

“I received a package,” Obi-Wan explained.  His voice still croaked.  “I was considering whether to bring it aboard.  I haven’t opened it yet.”

“Bring it,” Anakin said.  Almost a command, Obi-Wan noted, though he was not sure why he bothered to note such a thing.  “You don’t know when you’ll be back.”

“That was my thinking,” Obi-Wan said, and picked up the box with his bags.  It was not heavy, yet for a moment, he thought he felt something twinge.

*

My Dearest, 

I am sorry we quarrelled.  Somehow, every time I see you in person, I seem to fight with you.  Or perhaps you fight with me.  Either way, I am sorry for it.  If we could speak as we write…

Perhaps it is self-preservation.  If you spoke to me as you write to me, I could not have kept myself from kissing you.  I would have begged you to take me away from that hateful place, those hateful people--

You know who I mean, of course, though I cannot put it to flimsi.

Sometimes, far too often, I find myself thinking of our last night together, how we just laid there, holding each other.  I think I miss that more than anything.

(Yes, even more than that; don’t think I can’t still picture your eyebrow going up!)

Yours--

*

He’d taken to wearing armour beneath his robes.  Stolen Death Watch pieces, stripped of their colour.  He ought to have painted them gold, but he remembered the meanings he’d learned on Mandalore - gold did not suit a Jedi.  He left them unpainted, silver beskar on show.

Almost grey.

It hardly mattered.  No one saw them beneath the brown and beige robes.

He deflected a blaster bolt with his ‘saber, watched it shatter the droid who sent it, and did not flinch as Anakin appeared at his shoulder in a whirl of energy and plasma.

“Did you open that box yet?” he shouted, straining to be heard over the clash of two armies.

“No.”  Obi-Wan spoke shortly, sharply.  He had, lately, attempted to avoid speaking in the midst of the battle.  He had the vague notion that it might not be words that came up.  

“Of course.”  Anakin rolled his eyes.  “You’re so boring, sometimes, Master.”

“You’re nosy.”

“Well, yeah.”  Anakin was unashamed.  Why shouldn’t he be?  They had lived in each other’s pockets for so long…  Privacy was a relative concept, especially amongst Jedi.  “Will you tell me when you open it?”

“We’ll see,” Obi-Wan said, mostly to see him huff, and then he dived back into the fray, let the noise wash everything else away.

*

My Dearest,

Sometimes I thought you could read my mind.  You always seemed to know when I needed something.  A kind word.  An argument.  Would you tell me, now, if I was right?

Likely not.  You do so love to be mysterious.

(I can imagine you glaring at me, now, pretending that you don’t, but you do.)

No one here can read my mind, I’m certain, or they would not seek to annoy me quite so much.  The violence of their suggestions disgust me.

But I will say no more of that.  You will hear plenty of it, I’m sure, running hither and yon across the galaxy as you do.  

Yours--

*

He wasn’t sure what it was, exactly, that possessed him to do it, but rather than bid Cody goodnight, he asked, “Commander, would you stay a moment?”

Cody blinked.  “Of course, General.  Is something wrong?”

“Wrong?  No.”  He frowned, unsure why.  “I-  I want to open the box.  Somehow…  I do not wish to do so alone.”

“It’s not dangerous?”

“No.”

Cody nodded, and retook his seat.  

Obi-Wan placed the box on the table.  It was hardly ornate, hardly elegant, but the lock was firm - and the key was missing.  He ran his finger over it.

“Whoever sent it knows me,” he said.  “They expect me to open it with the Force.”

“And will you?”

“Of course,” he said, with mock offence that made Cody grin, and unlocked it with a thought.  The lid came off easily and, for a moment, he couldn’t think why he’d been so anxious.

*

My Dearest, Obi-Wan,

If you are reading this, then I am gone.  You likely already know this, but just in case…

I am sorry to leave you so soon, my love.  I have had so much time with you, yet it hardly seems enough.  But then, I would have protested if given a lifetime with you.

Enclosed, dearest, is the lifetime we did have together.  I hope you can forgive me for not burning your letters as I know I should have, but I could not bear to.  At least you may trust that the fact you have them now proves I chose a worthy custodian.

Whether you keep them, or whether you do what I could not, I hope they remind you of what I should have said far more often: I loved you then, I love you now, I will love you always.

Remember that I am forever yours,

Satine

*

“Sir?”  Cody’s hand was gentle on his arm.  “Obi-Wan?”

“Satine,” he murmured, feeling the tears burning in his eyes.  “She sent me back my letters.”

“Your…”  He looked back at the box, and Obi-Wan could sense his surprise.  “All of them?”

He let loose a ragged laugh.  “We spent twenty years going back and forth.  Apparently she saved every word.”

“And you?”

“Her letters to me are in the Temple,” he confessed.  “It seemed…  I could hardly bring her onto a warship.”

Cody nodded, and pressed his arm again until he sat.  “You must have loved her a great deal.”

“Love,” Obi-Wan corrected.  “There is no past tense in these matters.”

[viviennelamb]

Hey Vivienne!

What do you think of Non Dualism? Particularly the 4Dbarbie/4DKelly pages and that sort. It doesn’t make much sense to me but maybe I’m just not articulate enough to understand what they’re saying. It seems like a lot of it is based on vanity and materialism. For instance I saw a post from 4Dbarbie saying you can shapeshift into a completely different person who’s a better looking person by just believing you can and another saying that we should all be trying to completely turn off the left side of the brain. It seems dangerously delusional and a bit like psychosis {if I’m allowed to say that 😬} I see their posts get thousands of notes and there are multiple blogs teaching the ideas of 4Dbarbie, similar to a mini cult following. I saw that you mentioned Neville Goddard and I don’t know much about him but he’s someone they reference frequently and it just made me think. If you are unsure of who I’m referring to {4dbarbie} I won’t be offended if you ignore this message. I’ve felt more connected to your essays than anything I’ve read on their pages and would like to know what you think. I was bullied a lot as a child for being thin and timid which caused me to develop anxiety and become a follower to fit in with the crowd. Even though I no longer experience anxiety as an adult many times I feel like I’m being tricked or going down the wrong path. You are inspiring me to try and become more of a leader than follower and I’m working on listening to my intuition more after reading your essays. Thank you.

Love Cody 🌟🩵

Hi Cody,

I've never heard of them, but I skimmed their tags I see what you're saying. My experience with every facet of spirituality except for the one I'm currently following is purely based on egoism. Valeria Lukyanova, the original human barbie, as well as a few other less dedicated doll-like girls who who started this wave of Law of Attraction in 2007 wanting to manifest her appearance as well as the current beauty standards, which is what all of this divine feminine nonsense is about. Valeria often talks about chastity, sobriety and meditation, but she believes she's a Pleiadian when she's definitely human, which speaks to how important it is to love God or the individual becomes increasingly delusional. I won't speculate on whether her beliefs are true or not because it doesn't matter, but this is where the vanity of modern spirituality stems from.

⚬ Non-duality

I see those barbie non-dualists quoting Yogis, but none of the quotes offer any praxis nor the full truth of how to become a Yogi, which is essentially what non-duality actually is as "Yogi" and "non-duality" are interchangeable terms. To escape duality, one must become pure through mind and body; intellectually understanding what Yogis are saying is the exact opposite of consciousness.

To become pure means to burn up all karma one has by taking action through chastity, meditation and loving God, i.e retuning one oneness instead of diluting the body, mind and soul. Barbie non-dualists display yet another situation where they do not speak of their personal lives, but say what will best garner them a following. People who don't talk about their lifestyle, but have quotes and intellectualism ready to throw at you - don't listen to them.

Intellectuals will isolate and willfully misinterpret quotes from Masters without providing any value, believing they are oh so intelligent for replicating other people's work. What everybody should do instead is read the book for themselves if non-duality is that important to achieve to the people they're quoting and see what the academics are skipping over. This most infamously happens with the Holy Bible; those who are staunchly against it haven't read it for themselves. When people skip over parts of a message because they do not fully adhere to it, that is where you know their vice lies (and it's usually sex and wine).

There is duality with non-duality though: there is a non-dual dimension where the individual can obtain all the materials they desire, but once they get it they are hollow. The other side of that are individuals who do not wish for materials, but only God's love in which they are hallowed. Look at it like this: century after century, people are always referring to individuals who had nothing but God, but those who had the world are forgotten about - that is how you know that God is the point of life and nothing else. If this is the case, the non-duality that would actually grant the individual everything the soul wants is loving God.

・ Non-duality and Egoism

Egolessness is when one is completely balanced; no longer wanting or avoiding anything. It's unconditional love and acceptance which can only come from the understanding of Karmic Law. The problem I had with spirituality was that nobody was explaining their methodology to obtaining this alternative reality they spoke of and the little bit they did explain was useless.

The truth is polarity exists with everything: there is a Satanic-Ego and a God-Ego, the former is the one most have which is why I mainly talk about that one. The Satanic Ego believes it must exist and as a result has an intense fear of dying. The Satanic Ego believes it is valuable because it must exist to be sexually attractive to others, it must be aggressive in the workplace, and it must put up a front to protect itself. However, the God-Ego is mainly interested in destroying evil, truth is the protector. Individuals who are indifferent possess neither are background characters. Either way, the God-Ego is so incredibly rare only those working to achieve God-Consciousness know about it because they know they are immortal kind of like how superheros never actually die, but villains die and there's always a new one because satanism is that rife.

Dimensions aren't necessarily "higher" or lower" (though they can be) but states of consciousness. The average non-dualist (like the ordinary person) resides in body-consciousness, which would be the "lowest" state of consciousness. People in this state do not have a purpose from God, but typically live to fulfill desires based on what their bodies demand.

For example, people who have families to take care of cannot reach God-Consciousness in their current lifetime - their attention must be on their children as their karmic responsibility. There's nothing wrong with this path as everybody has their role to play, but those who wish to go to the highest heights of divinity, do not listen to parents. I say this because many of these individuals who talk about lifestyle and beliefs and body-conscious themselves otherwise they'd be speaking similar to me and I wouldn't be surprised if most of them had kids and were dealing with some type of escapism through spirituality. All sexual diseases attack the mind. Many of these individuals are also on smoking on zaza, microdosing mushrooms, and sipping kratom which also causes psychosis pushing them further from purity and therefore God. They come upon these "realizations" but are totally ignorant. Of course, all ailments can be healed by loving God, it's a matter of willpower in the throes of addiction which is why I don't do the "poor addict" thing; if they want to be cured, they would be - it's a matter of definite choice instead of being a perennial drifter.

Many gravitate towards people who don't know anything but are prideful about it. The truth is just about everybody wants to avoid simplifying their lives through chastity and meditation and loving God. That's why every distraction exists. Also see what these individuals mix in with their message - often it is fashion, makeup video games and other hobbies, which again is fine, but a distracted mind isn’t pure, so advice shouldn't be taken from them. You want people who are staunchly in reality and don't indulge in the trinkets of the world if you're actually suffering enough to become a pitbull who won't let go until you get what you want, willing to sacrifice everything for Truth. If non-duality is just a pebble to roll around in one's mind for fun, I'd actually recommend reading barbie non-duality - they play a role too.

But if you want to achieve Divinity in Human Form, we have to act and practice on what we want to experience, not just sit around and intellectualize about it. If one wants to become God, she has to act like she's the soul first. Souls are not interested in the world except to see God.

Becoming God is true non-dualism and God is bliss, calmness and sweetness - none of that emanates from their posts. It's moreso... desperation which makes their followers desperate. And yes ignorance and shortcuts typically have hundreds or thousands of notes because most people aren't willing to put in the work for the most important goal of life.

There are very few eyes and ears on Truth because the body doesn't know truth, it's the soul. What's interesting about this is that just thinking about Truth will ethereally touch a soul, even if they never meet you in person. This is why it's important to do your duties as if 8 billion people (God) are watching without worrying about the inaccurate statistics shown online. Once you start writing, speaking and doing, the truth amplifies and purifies the earth.

As for you not being articulate enough, that's definitely not the problem. Satanism in all forms typically require you to be part of the hivemind to understand, but what actually resonates with the soul is easy to comprehend once the individual becomes receptive through non-egotism. Luciferic non-duality is purposefully "occulted" to waste people's time who get into it. If anything claims of obtaining omnipotence by "just realizing" it when the average person isn't pure, it's a scam. Anything worth having takes an immense amount of pointed work.

⚬ Supernatualism

I logically know that I (and everybody else) am the soul, an individualized little God, but I am nowhere near actually realizing that as in living as the pure soul. One way to know if somebody is living a non-dualistic life is their ability to control their energy as a result of becoming the soul and reaching God-Consciousness. Living on prana is not possible for the average person, but it is possible for individuals who have actually reached Samadhi to live as the soul in the human body, including not breathing and stopping their heart while keeping the body alive and other supernatural processes known to Yogis.

In Meditative-Consciousness, one is always with God and can focus on a part of their body to create the satisfactions of this part without engaging in materialism. For example, somebody who wishes to smell a perfume focuses on the tip of their nose to smell it in a filthy environment. Or somebody who is hungry focuses on the tip of their tongue to no longer remain hungry. This cannot be done by somebody who is not chaste, and therefore has no prana past the first three chakras nor somebody who cannot remain concentrated on God permanently, forgetting that she is the soul.

Some Yogis have kindly reported the ability to "live" on information instead of breathing, teleport, read an individual's electromagnetism, predict the future and so on which isn't surprising once they come to know all that there is to know i.e God. For the most part, people who have reached Samadhi keep these abilities secret because they will be crucified.

Keep in mind, the state of mind non-dualists claim to have is the state of walking meditation. So why are many 50+ year old monks who have renunciated the world still working on reaching God while this while probably 28 year olds are claiming to have reached this state by accident? What makes them so special if we're all in the same predicament of this dream-drama-school-game of life?

Somehow, I don't believe this is the extent of Infinite Intelligence.

It takes a lot of work and dedication to reach Cosmic-Consciousness. It can be reached in one lifetime, but since most people don't want to renunciate the world it would take the average person, who isn't consistent in their prayers and meditations thousands of lifetimes to reach the knowledge that she is God. Since we can become God in one lifetime, that is how I know that is the purpose of life. With that said, barbie non-dualists are playing their role of bringing yearning souls who have been disillusioned by religion individuals back to the the true path of renunciation/non-duality/loving God.

As a collective, our only goal is to seek and obtain happiness and the Divine Apex sitting on top of the throne of happiness, waiting for us patiently can only be perceived through purity and devotion.

⚬ God vs. Satan

Non-dualism and dualism are tricky topics that can't be explained, but experienced directly. God has created the world to be dramatic to incite the individual's awakening to their soul. The basis of reality is God vs. Satan (or Good vs. Evil) and all other dualities stemming from this primordial spiritual war.

Good is being still and knowing you are one with God.

Evil is being restless and believing you are separated from God.

Without a conscience, which is our intuition, one believes that she should be able to do anything to obtain the material "reality" she wants; this selfish thinking creates a downward spiral in which she reaps what she sows. Hypocrisy is a sign that an individual suffers from spiritual blindness which sometimes manifests as physical blindness as the individual is unable to learn their lesson and progress upwards from the depths of hell.

Satanism is being so concerned with the body that the individual would do anything to fulfill its needs. This creates rapists and the rigamarole of depravity. Once the individual becomes the soul, it is quite literally impossible to be overly concerned with one's appearance to the point where one spends their time desiring their appearance to change, so yes, almost everybody who is into the Law of Attraction are satanists or witches.

Non-dualists ignore the polarity of good and evil which is the main reason why I don't agree with their rhetoric even though they are correct about some points. The war between Good and Evil is participated in whether the individual knows of it or not and this world is currently filled with darkness, but there is a promise of light as God is always the Final Victor. The individual chooses what side they're on based on their thoughts, words and actions and victory is experienced immediately in your inner world. At this point, what happens externally doesn't matter, and I truly mean that. Somehow you will always be protected and provided for and you will know it's God.

In a world full of egoists, it is likely you are being led down the wrong path. Truthfully, anybody who doesn't direct you to your Soul or God is telling you a lie. To become a leader, you must become fearless and know that satanists will have their eyes on you, watching your every move to use against you, but you must be Truth anyways regardless of how unpalatable the world may perceive you. Individuals who stop others from being themselves is because that person is enraged they cannot be God and Satan's motto is to mimic everything God does because he's bitter he was casted out of heaven. Sounds familiar, huh?

My purpose is only to bring the innocent who have been lied to comfort in this world. I'm interested in very little else, so thank you for asking and allowing me to provide you comfort.

[natalynsie]

Boyfriend (Noco Oneshot)

Read full on ao3: Boyfriend - natalynsie - Total Drama (Cartoon) [Archive of Our Own]

Preview:

“How could you think she's not hot?” Cody asked.

Cody, Noah, Izzy, Eva, and Owen were walking back from their English class and headed to homeroom. Noah was getting quite sick of Cody's blabbering, but put up with it.

“I mean, Cody's right, she is pretty hot,” Izzy stated, putting a hand on Noah's shoulder.

“What about me?” Owen asked.

“You're not hot, you're cute!”

“And me?” Eva asked.

“Oh, you're hot as fuck.”

Eva smirked and Owen rolled his eyes.

“Back to the topic,” Owen began. “I don't think Gwen is hot.”

“You're too gay to be a part of this conversation,” Noah joked. “But I agree.”

“I shouldn't have to keep repeating myself! I'm not gay!”

“Noah, you're gay too,” Izzy said. “Don't think I don't see you staring at Cody's ass.”

Noah had to take a moment to process that. Noah had never stared at Cody's ass. Except for that one time but that was once. “What?”

“I'm kidding,” Izzy reassured. “Sort of. You aren't in the ass-staring phase. Yet.”

“Izzy, I'm not into Cody.” Noah usually enjoyed Izzy's observations, he found them quite entertaining, but he found this one strange. Noah didn't like Cody. He thought he was cute, but not much more than that.

“I think Gwen is not hot, Cody is insane, and he's been quiet ever since Izzy started calling Noah gay,” Eva stated.

“Something bothering you, Cody?” Izzy asked, turning back to Cody.

“Oh no, nothing, I don't care. I just didn't know what to say,” Cody informed.

“Okay, we keep on getting off topic,” Izzy noted. “Cody, what are your sexual fantasies about Gwen?”

Cody's face erupted into flames. “WHAT?”

“Good lord, let's keep this PG,” Noah sighed.

“Okay… Cody, what are your non-sexual fantasies about Gwen?”

“I'm not sharing that information with you,” Cody said. “All you guys get to know is that I'm crazy about her.”

“Yeah. We already know. Let's move on,” Noah complained. “Personally, I think Gwen is a bitch and you should stop obsessing over her.”

“What makes Gwen a bitch?” Cody asked. “She's super nice.”

“Yeah, what gives Noah?" Izzy questioned.

Noah took a breath in. “Well for starters, the way she broke up with Trent was terrible. Then she went and kissed Duncan. You don't just do that.”

“Courtney and Duncan weren't even dating!” Cody exclaimed. “Everyone keeps treating her terribly for that as if it were her fault Courtney was crazy!”

“Yeah, but Courtney's her friend. You don't kiss your friend's ex.”

“That's true,” Eva responded.

“Well yeah, but everyone's entitled to a few mistakes,” Cody said.

“She made more than a few.” Noah folded his arms.

“You're just mad he's not into you,” Izzy accused.

“I'm not into him!”

The group walked into Ms. Andrew-O’Halloran's homeroom and sat down at their table just as the bell rang.

“Well, unlike Noah, I think Sierra's in her ass-staring phase,” Izzy stated, glancing over to Sierra’s table

“Please don't tell me these things,” Cody replied.

“Okay. Question. Are you in your ass-staring phase with Gwen?”

“No. I don't stare at girls' asses.”

“Respectful. Reasonable.” Eva nodded.

“Yeah, real respectful of me not to be as low as Sierra,” Cody said sarcastically.

After that, the group decided to talk and rather do their English homework. Noah was writing an essay about themes in the last play they’d read, Macbeth, he was getting distracted by his thoughts.

Why does Cody like Gwen so much? Noah wondered. I just don’t get it.

Noah truly believed Cody could do better. He was cute, but Noah believed not everybody saw Cody the way he did. Noah tended to only pay attention to appearances once he’d met a person. If he didn’t know someone, he wasn’t able to really tell his opinion on their appearance. Along with that, personality always seemed to taint his opinion just a little. He thought Heather was a little prettier when he’d first met her.

But what Cody also had to offer was his personality- he was clever, and loyal, and dedicated. He truly tried to make people happy, no matter who they were to him. He was open-minded that way.

Cody even treated Sierra nicely. If Noah was in Cody's shoes, he would've told Sierra to screw off first thing. But Cody was still nice to her.

Noah may not have finished his math homework, but he got to do some thinking.

Noah headed to his Spanish class and sat down in his regular spot next to Gwen. Believe him- it was not his decision. If it were up to him, Noah would be sitting alone or with Cody. But, unfortunately for him, his Spanish teacher was insane and gave them a seating chart in high school.

So, he just had to put up with Ezekiel behind him, Courtney at his table, Bridgette and Geoff making out in the back row, and Trent and Gwen always passing notes to each other behind the desks. All he got to do all class was give Cody, who sat next to Trent a row back, bored glances.

The last class had been dedicated to speaking assessments, which would be continuing all week. Noah had finished his packet yesterday right before his own assessment. Figuring there was nothing better to do, he simply watched Gwen over her shoulder while Cody's table was out for assessments.

After a minute or so, Gwen turned to face Noah. “What do you want?”

“Nothing,” Noah responded blandly.

“You clearly want something.”

“I'm just thinking.”

“About?” Gwen asked. Courtney had moved tables, sitting with her friends in another section of the classroom working on science.

“The fact that Cody likes you is crazy.”

Gwen gave Noah a confused look. “Huh?”

“Well, you know he likes you.”

“Yeah no duh. Why do you think it's crazy.”

“I think it's crazy because he could do better.”

Gwen seemed to be holding back a laugh. “Look, Noah, as much as I love Cody, not in that way by the way, I don't think he could score very high. I'm not hot stuff, but Cody is probably worse.”

“Yeah but his personality is definitely better.”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“You know.”

“Are you talking about the thing with Duncan? Because it's not my fault Courtney's so insanely overprotective.”

“Courtney is your friend. Or at least she was. You could have treated her better.”

“Courtney sees me more like a statistic than a friend. That's how she treats all her friends, if you haven't noticed.”

Noah shrugged. “Either way, Cody is better than you. At least he's loyal.”

“I don't know if you're trying to make me mad, but it's not gonna work.”

“I'm not.”

“Then what are you doing?”

“Just saying.”

Gwen smirked. “You just wanted an excuse to talk about Cody, didn't you?”

Noah felt heat rise to his cheeks in embarrassment. “No. I just wanted to call you out.”

“Oh come on Noah, you aren't fooling anyone. You just went on a rant about how he could 'do better'. That's basically code for telling others you have a crush on someone.”

“Is not!”

Gwen giggled. “You're so oblivious to your own crush, it's hilarious.”

“I’m not oblivious, I don't even like him!”

“You trying to prove you don't like him is just making it worse.”

“Whatever,” Noah turned to the window. It was a bland view of the brick building over, but currently anything was better than looking at Gwen.

Noah figured Gwen was just being crazy today. Like Izzy that morning. Noah was no way in the world into Cody.

“Are you jealous that he likes me and not you?” Gwen asked.

“This conversation is over.”

“I'm gonna take that as a yes.”

Cody's group returned from assessments, and Cody once again returned to his table as the teacher called out Bridgette and Geoff.

“Hey, Noah, do you by chance have the answers to the packet?” Cody asked, and Noah turned to face him. He was doing his typical pleading eyes, which Noah usually gave into for non-gay reasons. But today was not one of those days. Noah couldn't risk Gwen thinking he was into Cody.

“Uh, no,” Noah responded, and Gwen snorted.

“What's going on?” Cody questioned. “By the way, Noah, I saw you finish that packet.”

“Um…”

“You two are so funny to me,” Gwen stated.

This statement just seemed to confuse Cody more.

“You should shoot your shot, man,” Gwen said. Who she was saying that to, Noah was unsure, but it definitely didn't help the red in his cheeks.

“Oh, fine,” Noah handed Cody his binder. “It's in the first pocket on the inside.”

“Thanks?” Cody responded.

“No problem.”

Noah returned to staring out of the window and not talking to anyone. He thought about what Gwen had said, and officially decided that she was crazy. There was no way he liked Cody. Absolutely no way.

[yourlocalpurplekinnie]

How long did it take Cody to recover from getting mauled by a bear?

Okay so Cody gets mailed by the bear in episode 9 and the next time we see him in episode 22 he’s completely fine. There’s no signs of scarring or anything.

(This is my 4th hour on this and I’m just writing up all my thoughts so far)

First I tried to watch the episodes (very very quickly so I skipped ahead on ones I knew how much time has passed because in them they didn’t really go over multiple days except basic straining.

However, Chris says at the start that every 3 days they would have to participate in a challenge.

I used that logic and got no where because I tried to find out the amount of it was from ep9-ep22 and I ended up getting 7 weeks which is the total amount of time from ep1-ep22 so I fucked up somewhere- I think it might have something to do with my assuming that 3 days passes in between each challenge which couldn’t have happen if we are talking ep9-ep22.

I know for certain 7 weeks had passed from the first episode to the 22nd because Chris spefically states it in that episode so that helped me narrow that down.

There’s 22 episodes since then so all I did was 49/22 which I got 2.2272723 which I rounded it down to 2 days for simplicity.

And then we have the first 9 episodes where I believe it’s been 18 days if I use the same logic.

Then, I do 49-18=31 so it would be 31 days right?

I don’t think so. I believe it would be even a little less than that.

Cody says this:

“After I got my body cast off and the stitches removed I started to realise this place is pretty sweet” - episode 22 - 3:52-3:57

This stuck out to me for some reason. Im not sure why but I decided I needed to research the average temperature it was around 2007 in Canada at that time and how long it takes to get a sunburn in that time (as Cody was shown with one). I also needed to know how long it should take before you suntan after you got your stitches removed.

Sun can actually cause scarring to occur and for you to get burns easier when it comes to stitches. It can make them more visible and darker so it’s recommended to wait 3-9 months before doing so.

Like I said before I’m assuming it’s only been a month since this has happened.

For him to be able to have a tan, have no scars, and not have to have his body cast or anything on him would have to be a miracle.

Also from what I researched to be able to have redness and pain from a sunburn it would need to be around 25-35 minutes (I believe so anyways) in 30 degrees Celsius.

And it would be around 25-30 degrees for them since it’s summer and all that (I believe so anyways (I was talking about this with some people and the person I brought this part up to got this information for me)).

The bear would probably be around 400 pounds because Owen mentions that his is 296 pounds and the bear is a decent amount larger than him.

We also know that it’s a grizzly bear because the same kind of looking bear is shown in the first merge episode where Eva and Izzy came back episode 15 “no pain, no game”. Leshawna was on the rolling log against it and it’s mentioned it’s a grizzly bear.

The average weight for male grizzly bears is between 400-600 (so there’s a possibility that it weighed anywhere between that) and a female grizzly bear weighs around 250-350. I assume that it’s a male grizzly bear due to the size.

They have a bite that’s able to crush a bowling ball of a human skull without any trouble.

There is a chance for him to survive if he plays dead but he wouldn’t be able to without a lot of injuries (shown by the amount of casts he had gotten) which would take a long time to heal even with a very fast healing time.

Ultimately, I think it took him a little over 3 weeks to heal (probably around 26 days?? So he is able to experience Playa De Losers a little while as well).

All this is just a lot of assuming and approximation but this was just my thought process.

My guy must be an alien with his recovery time.

In the end, it’s a cartoon so of course he’s gonna have a quick recovery time but I thought it would be fun to try and find out how long it took and everything.

I spent literal hours rewatching some episodes and researching about topics to try and make it so I know the amount of time it would take and how little sense it does have to be real life consequences of it happening.

I spent 5 hours on this time to sleep /j

(I didn’t reread this so sorry if I repeated anything or didn’t go into enough detail or have misspelling or sentences that don’t make sense :3)

[poisonflowercorvidae]

Hey, while searching through ao3 I came around "My Other Half " and I just loved it (and I kind of finished really fast). Do you have some kadewave hc?

I'm really glad you enjoyed it! I never really expected anyone to pay much attention to that fic with such an out-there premise, but it means a lot to me that people did/do.

Sorry for the late response, but this got looooong.

My thoughts and headcanons for Kadewave are kind of all over the place because I've shipped these two practically since I first started watching Rescue Bots, and their dynamic changes so much over the course of the series that I think a lot of the specifics of how they get together and what their relationship is like depends on when it all happens in relation to the series and how canon compliant things are

Some headcanons I tend to hold regardless of all that:

Kade and Heatwave are monogamous. I think the idea of polyamory being normalized in Cybertronian society is pretty neat, but it's still not for everyone, and these two just strike me as the kind that would stand by one partner at a time

Heatwave is the jealous type. This is just canon, I think. (Blades: "Kinda scary, but I'm rethinking the whole Kade partner option." Heatwave: "Rethink again.") He's pretty good at reigning it in except for a snappish comment here or there, so Kade mostly finds it funny

Kade has more experience with relationships. It's not necessarily good experience--he messes up a lot in his relationships and/or falls for the wrong people--but he has dated more. While Heatwave has lived longer, even after accounting for stasis, he's kind of the "married to the job" type and spent too much time playing leader and eldest-brother-figure to the rest of Sigma 17 to really do all that much dating

Heatwave can still be a tease, though, especially after they get together, because it’s fun to rile Kade up

We know, from when Cody and Frankie time traveled, that Griffin Rock is more progressive with regards to racial issues than much of America has been, so I tend to think GR also has less of a homophobia/transphobia problem, so Kade doesn’t have to struggle so much with the gender/sexuality aspect of being attracted to Heatwave. The “He’s a giant alien robot” part still took some work, even after they start respecting each other more as firefighting partners

Most of the resistance on both sides to their feelings was still more about how stubborn/hotheaded the other one is

Heatwave does worry over Kade a lot. Like, it’s one thing if Kade stubs his toe or gets a paper cut because of his own stubborn carelessness; Heatwave will just roll his optics or huff some kind of, “Why do you always do that?” But if it’s even the littlest bit more than that--if Kade catches a cold or gets a burn on the job or something--Heatwave will obsess over it and what he could have done to prevent that

Usually, I think there isn’t so much a first to confess or realize their feelings; they just sort of gravitate towards each other over time. The exact timeline or AU could change that, and I can see either one of them spitting it out in a fit of passion after a tense scene, but especially in more canon compliant timeline, it’s just something they kind of...fall into, whether or not they actually talk about it

Neither of them are good at talking about their feelings in either universe. They eventually get better, but they rarely if ever say they love each other around other people/bots, even in timelines where they don’t go through massive misunderstandings before getting together. They’re excellent at showing each other they care, though

Their relationship isn’t 100% an Everyone Can See It situation--some people definitely assume they’re just Buds--but a few people can pick it out. Usually the rest of the extended family, but some faster than others: Cody, because he’s perceptive; Chief Burns, because he’s a Wise Dad; Dani, because she’s a romantic but also because she knows the difference between her own sisterly mocking of Kade versus Heatwave’s metaphorical pigtail pulling; Blades, because he and Dani love to gossip; and Blurr, because whether they mean to or not, Kade and Heatwave trying to train his recklessness out of him definitely results in them dad-ing him

Like I said, a lot of this plays out differently on timeline/universe points. For most of these, I’m going to either assume Kade and Hayley break up or ignore that they got together in the first place, though the polyamory or Kade cheating on Hayley angles are still valid for other people who want to explore them. It’s just for me personally, I really only see Kadewave happening if Kade isn’t with Hayley.

The most canon-compliant version is also probably the most laid back and chill version of them getting together. It wouldn’t happen until late in season 4 or after, because Kade is still dating Hayley through most/all of that season in canon, but by that point in the series, Kade and Heatwave have really mellowed out. Listen to them talking about Blurr at the beginning of “Need for Speed” (Heatwave: “He’s as stubborn as you are.” Kade: “And as hot-headed as you.”); just the way they say it, Heatwave’s done with Blurr’s shit but Kade shoots back all amused and kind of fond. They bicker and trade barbs, but it’s in that “Close enough to argue” (or, if you prefer, Old Married Couple) kind of way where how much they like each other still bleeds through, and by this point in the series, they aren’t arguing about important things like how to do their job any more. It’s smooth going. So, Hayley and Kade split, and after a little while, Heatwave and Kade move from, “Hey, actually, I like this guy,” to, “Oh, hey, I like this guy,” and that’s that.

My Other Half/The Parts of Me I Hide mostly follows that track but with the complications of 1) being set in an AU where sparklings can happen (and interspecies sparklings, specifically, can happen) and 2) Kade getting horribly, terribly broken-bones-and-blood hurt. It turns what could be a simple slide into a relationship into a dramatic mess via bumping against all their issues of not talking about their feelings and Heatwave reacting to Kade getting hurt etc etc.

If we go way back to the first season up through season 2′s “Changes,” this is where Kade and Heatwave are in full tsun4tsun mode. Neither of them wants to admit even to themselves that they like each other, even after they get over the initial friction of their introduction. This is deffo in the zone of, “If they get together, it’s probably after some kind of blow-up fight,” and even then it’s not likely because they’re both too busy going No, absolutely not, I do not find this aggravating creature attractive no matter how many dangerous situations we face down together. “Changes” definitely marks a shift in their relationship because Kade has to acknowledge that Heatwave does actually like him as much as the reverse (”Heatwave cherishes your partnership,” anyone?). It might still take him a while to process what exactly he feels and whether or not Heatwave cares about him in the same way, but it’s definitely the crack in the damn that makes him stop lying to himself that he doesn’t like Heatwave somehow.

Season 3 is the awkward middle ground where they know their own feelings, they have to know that the other likes them to some degree, and while they aren’t really pretending about it anymore, they aren’t ready to say anything about it, either. It’s this dance around it, and all it would take is one little slip to tumble head first into a relationship and--oh hey, new recruits! Let’s deal with getting them integrated into life here rather than deal with whatever we’ve got going on

Some My Other Half/The Parts of Me I Hide specific headcanons:

Heatwave is mad at himself for the first class of recruits hurting Kade because he thinks he should have been there to step in sooner. It might or might not have actually affected the outcome, but he blames himself a bit all the same

This was an exchange I had in mind for the fic that got cut, but Heatwave and Kade definitely had an argument about The Incident that included an exchange along the lines of “What if you’d lost a leg or an arm?” “I’d say I’d be the first amputee fire fighter, but someone already beat me to it. Guess I’d have to settle for the first in Milford.”

Their second sparkling is a daughter named Spitfire

“So, if we’re dealing with a universe without sparklings, where DID Kade go?” Yeah, I’m still working my headcanon for that one out myself.

[xplrvibes]

part two. Ive decided to make comments as i watch big bulks so i don’t forget what i’m thinking.

1. the more sam and colby talk abt cody and satori… the more i believe them. like maybe im just a chameleon to opinion but they genuinely seem to believe in c&s and i wasn’t there, i haven’t experienced any of this so i think i’m back to ‘hey maybe it wasn’t all bs and this might be real’. I also firmly do not believe cody was cracking joints bc how? they felt it in the floor, heard it in the walls.. doesn’t make sense. also if the house ever goes up again they need to put an offer down. i get what sam was saying and it not being practical (properly value 300k but asking for 1.4m? that’s steep). it’d be a great investment tho.

2. with sam and colbys luck, one of them would get the most undeniable evidence of the paranormal (someone levitating, thrown a distance, possessed…) and people would still be like ‘fake!’ Lol Also gram (?) just mentioned a similar experiment to what we were discussing the other day! except he said take random people and not tell them which is haunted, we were saying put snc in a place and not tell them its haunted and then see what happens. they liked that idea so who knows… they might lol

3. i will always be so fascinated and proud of colby for how he handled and continues to be so transparent about his cancer journey. i say journey bc it will continue to be apart of his life for years to come, whether through medical appointments, anniversary anxieties, or just talking about it. mad props to him, mad props.

4. i just got a series of flashes in my mind of black and white photos of snc respectively announcing engagements to their partners and births of their children and it made me smile. one day, boys. one day that’ll be your future, your “purpose”.

done.

- aussie anon

always nice to listen to podcasts where everyone knows each other well, its less interviewy and more just a convo with friends caught on camera.

Also I hope their merch is still in stores next time i’m in the usa bc i would definitely grab a hoodie. just don’t wanna pay the insane conversion rate and shipping costs. i priced it, a hoodie + shipping works out to be $149aud. sorry boys… can’t do it 😂

1, I believe that they believe in Cody and Satori. I've never called snc's credibility into question with that whole mess, and it kind of annoys me that others do - not cause I think they are above reproach or something, but because people love to say "oh snc never bothered to even try to debunk these guys, so they must be in on it." Like, WHAT? They literally flew back across the country weeks later to try and debunk it cause they knew full well that there were a lot of ways out and around this. When the controversy started, they reached out to C&S and asked if they could run more tests and C&S said no. SNC, having done all of that, came out still believing them while also fully acknowledging that they could be faking - not much else they can do besides that right there, so why they are still coming under fire about it when C&S are the "frauds" is beyond me.

Literally, do y'all want them to kidnap these two people, tie them up, remove their shoes, and force them to do this barefoot? Do you want them to release this additional footage they have that C&S did not give them permission to release that they could probably get sued over (since releasing it would be done without consent) and possibly blacklisted from the entire paranormal community, just so reddit can have their fucking jollies? Like...?? Go after C&S and let snc continue to have their beliefs on the whole thing, since they did everything they felt they could to disprove this before making their decision on where they stood on the issue.

Sorry for the rant, that whole situation just annoys me.

As far as them almost buying the house - that made me laugh, cause we joked about the possibility of them doing that on here back when the house went up for sale. So knowing it almost happened is not only funny, but also explains some vague shit they said back in the day about possibly owning a haunted house lol.

2, You know, Sam's exuberant insistence that he wants to have some horrible thing happen to him so that he could have the experience and finally know for 100% that the paranormal is real is exactly the problem with Sam, and I've been calling that out for years. The fact that he can so casually say it out loud made me both feel vindicated and perturbed by him and his hubris (here's a good example of his hubris again lol).

But yea, I hope they take the idea and run with it!

3, I thought it was interesting to hear him be honest about the fact that this whole situation with the cancer is hitting him harder now than it did while he was in the thick of it. That is trauma. That is shock and adrenaline wearing off, and hindsight creeping in. I think it's important to be able to come out and say, "Yea, not all of this is a positive, and some of this will stick with you for years." Colby tries his damndest (to a fault sometimes) to always come across as a glass all the way full and overflowing kind of guy, or a stoic soldier who doesn't complain and keeps his head up, but then he's also very open about his emotional state, and vaguely alludes to his deep mental health struggles from time to time and I just think there's a well of really dark emotion buried deep, deep inside of him that would be healthier for him and everyone to let out every once in a while.

Anyway, that was a side tangent to the main point, which is that it is very impressive that he continues to put himself out there and speak so candidly about such a stigmatized topic.

Although, I don't think he grasps what the word "celibate" means, but he tried and that's what counts lol

4, I think it's high comedy that these two act like they've never given thought to their kids growing up together when they literally were just joking about this on xplrclub a few months ago. These two have brains like sieves lol.

Also, the looks on their faces when the host said "you should have girlfriends that are friends with each other" like yea, they are working on that right now, as a matter of fact.

And I think they'll be in Zumiez for a long time, so you should be good!!

[isabelguerra]

YOU. WIZARD AU GUY. TELL US MORE ABOUT WIZARD PROM PLEASE. DOES IT GET DEEP INTO SHIPPING TERRITORY? WHO GOES WITH WHO? PLEASE I NNNNNNEEED TO KNOW

HI ANON AS YOU WISH

Wizard prom. head in my hands. Dont even get me started on wizard prom. I’m assuming you’re talking about yule in their 6th year, pls correct me if that not it but I can’t think of anything else youd be referring to so I’m going to talk about Yule.

It gets a little into shipping territory! Some of the yule pairups aren’t automatically romantic. The ships in wizard au are, since i made the au, catered to me, but don’t let that stop you. These are how I wrote them but if you think it’d be fun to see stephen/alex or idk collin/cody be my guest. With that said the yule pairs are:

- Isabel & Max: They go for appearances (Hogwarts champion & Quidditch captain, Guerra family heir, one of the best witches in their year) and because neither got dates with people they liked otherwise. Which is not to say other people didn’t ask them, but neither were interested in those people. So, why not go with your best friend?

- Cody & the Beauxbatons champion, who is a sweet boy with soft brown hair and glasses

- Ed & RJ: #nonbinaryswag

- Ollie & some Durmstrang twink

- Stephen & Dimitri (imo still the funniest crackship out there)

- Johnny does not get a date (loser)

- Violet & Lisa

- Spender & Garcia: I used to have Spender go alone but that was before sparcia became real so as much as i would like to laugh at him and make him single again i have to vote for gay rights

- Isaac also doesn’t get a date (loser x2). Maybe he asks someone and they turn him down. I like to bully Isaac

- Day & Zarei

Those are the pairings I can think of. Otherwise we have Jeff who goes alone but has a great time, Suzy and Collin who spend the whole night trying to get a scoop rather than dancing (Collin was roped into this unwillingly), Professor Walker who is chaperoning, and I feel like I’m forgetting some but if I remember I’ll add them in later.

This lineup is WAYYYY WAY different than the OG au, I think back in 2015 it was more like:

- Max alone because he couldn’t get a date

- Ed & Isabel went as bffs

- Isaac no date

- Jang went as a group of 4 bffs with matching outfits

Which has changed a lot. Ed & Isabel don’t go together anymore because going with your sibling is social suicide and also Ed likes RJ. Wizard AU is first and foremost an izjo au, and Isabel and Johnny did the chicken dance around asking each other until it was too late, so Isabel going with Max is part of that. They end up hanging out through most of yule anyway, but they didn’t ask each other and they both kind of regret it. The gang doesn’t go with each other anymore because as fun as I think it’d be, I think it’s something they would do at 12 and not 16. Theyre all growing into being their own person, and that involves being daring and asking the person they like to wizard prom except Johnny.

I dug through discord and found these old messages bullying izjo for not asking each other. Please enjoy

[xanadulys]

Teaser drabbles of Let’s Play a Game AU.

1.  “Tell me where it hurts...Captain Fordo?”😈😇😈

“In between my shoulder blades, lower back, and upper thigh...Nurse Valentine.”😎😉

2. As she rubbed a hand over her belly weeping bitterly, ******* could not help but lament that not only will ***** never know he was going to be a father, but also that except for her and his brothers, he is forgettable and replaceable product to an ungrateful Republic.

3. “Here we are, thank you again for escorting me to the banquet hall, and for the pleasant company, Commander...Thyder?” 

“Thire. You danced marvelously Ms. **********. You have a good night. I have never wanted to simply be a man until I met you, mesh’la. I hope to see you again soon.”

4. “What do you have there, Trooper?” Trooper in a lift holding a thermos of hot tea in one hand and stroking a fluffy, two-headed ostrich with the other. “Hot Tea.”

5. “Commander, there seems to be a discrepancy in-OH MY MAKER, WHO IS SHE?!”😍

6. A tug on his kama directed his attention downward. “Yes Madame Representative?” 

“May I have this dance Mr. Stone?”

7. Twelve dead. Some of them didn’t even have names yet. Soft perfume wafted into his nose, followed by a sandpaper tongue licking up tears he didn’t even realize he was shedding. Looking up into glittering emerald green eyes and light cream white velvety fur, he saw sadness and pity in the big cat’s gaze. Choking sobs erupt as he gathers her close and buries his face in her fur, accepting the comfort offered.

8. “...and that docket is concluded. Commander Cody, if there are an requests or complaints that you can think of to bring to my attention, please don’t hesitate to tell me anything that can improve the quality of the troopers lives.” Cody has multiple flashbacks to picking up robes, lightsabers, tea leaves, Obi-Wan when he finally collapses from exhaustion, etc. Smirks. “Well....”

9. “I do not want you to be good soldiers, I want you to be good men!”

10. “HOLD YOUR FIRE! THERE ARE BABIES ON THE BATTLEFIELD!”

11. Fox turns the corner to find Senator Riyo Chuchi of Pantora tenderly holding Shynx in her arms with the dog/fox/creature snuffling in her sleep and yipping every so often. Fox bit down his sudden surge of jealousy and approached.

12. “Come on Wrecker, you are part of a special ops unit, bench press a LAART, arm and disarm bomb in 30 seconds, and rush a hallway full of clankers, but you can’t ask a girl out?!”

13. “Move over, you’re hogging all the blankets.” 

*shuffle, shuffle, shuffle* 

“MAKER! Your feet are freezing, get them off me!”

“No, you’re cozier than the blanket.”

“pth-pbtha, move your hair, it’s suffocating me!”

*SHUFFLE, SHUFFLE-BONK*

“Ow, now look what you did! That was my dominant arm,******!”

“What are you talking about Crosshair, that was your own fault! Now shut up and let me cling to you, so we both get some sleep!?”

*grumble, grumble* “At least you smell nice.”

14. “Vod, what do I do!? It’s so small and fragile and she just left me here alone with it! Why is it chasing me and why is it making that sound, is it choking?! What is a diaper and why do I need to change it?! WHAT IN PRIME’S NAME IS A PACIFIER!?

15. “...and that is the data I have gathered from Kamino, fellow Masters.”

“Shaak...”

“Yes, Master Windu?”

“Why is there a child strapped to your chest?”

“It’s Boba’s naptime, and sleep is important for growth.”

...And more to come!

[bigtimesinsmallspaces]

Post 8: A Tale of Two Zephyrs Part Two

We loved Glenwood Springs so much we wanted to stay another day. But the train for the next day was booked so we wearily (yet happily) proceeded to the station. It’s hard to predict the ridership on a train. The Zephyr we stepped off of the day before was only half full. It was readily apparent this was going to be a different experience. The line for boarding was long and confusing. PG and I had a challenging time getting seats together but the conductor assisted us and we settled in.

One of the most fascinating aspects of this segment was still before us. The Moffatt Tunnel opened in 1928 and at that time was the longest tunnel in the Western Hemisphere and topped out at over 9,500 feet. At 6.2 miles it shortened the distance between Denver and Salt Lake City by over 170 miles. About 15 trains a day still use the tunnel. It takes about 12 minutes to get through the Moffatt as it crosses through the Continental Divide, and about the same amount of time to clear the tunnel of fumes before the next train can proceed We were told when we were approaching and the conductor asked that everyone remain in their train car to avoid any opening doors that would allow fumes into the train.

The ride on into Denver was quite enjoyable because Conductor Cody provided very informative commentary. He also spent a lot of time in the Observation Car striking up conversations and asking about how your travels were going. It was obvious he loved his job. There was also a rail club traveling and listening to them talk with one another and with Conductor Cody highlighted for me how little I know about trains. The opportunity to hear from the Conductor was definitely a highlight of the trip. Many years ago I remembered on certain routes there were volunteer docents who boarded at particularly scenic or historical spots and provided wonderful commentary along the route. Similarly, folks on social media often relate that they strike up engaging conversations (friendships?) with conductors and train personnel. With the exception of Conductor Cody on this trip we had to make do with books found on Amazon, which actually served us well to explain what we were seeing along the way.

There is always the low point of a trip— especially one this laden with expectations. So it was, that as we pulled out of Denver for yet another overnight on the train, with no further tunnels and the most majestic of the Rockies fading behind us, PG and I hit that point. This epic trip was coming to an end and we were missing that sense of anticipation that had been with us through both the planning and the experience of the trip itself. It did not help that the old man beside us was drunk and loud and playing a mandolin (badly, two chords over and over); and the young guy in front of us was drunk and demanding that the car attendant not sit anyone with him (on the sold out train) because he wanted both seats to himself. As can be expected these types of situations don’t get better on an overnight train in a full coach car careening toward Chicago with a long night ahead.

It is important to remember that train travel is a form of public transportation. Riding the rails is a trip with your fellow humans from all walks of life loaded into a big tube that shoots through the night. If you cannot see the joy, or at least some of the humor in these experiences, it is not likely the train is for you. Seriously sleep deprived with an aching back, even my patience for snoring strangers and smelly food and feet was nearing its end, and the Zephyr was losing her shine.

Or maybe it was simply time to start looking forward to something else— something like going home. Maybe, after all, it was the perfect confluence of happenings.

Video Below: Leaving Glenwood Springs and the Colorado River

Pictures Below: Leaving Glenwood Springs, a ranch, watching the scenery from the observation car and modeling my train earrings from my friend Kathy, the beautiful Rockies, the train at Galesburg, Chicago in the distance.

[phoenixyfriend]

Fake Sith TCW Trio

I have another fucked up time-travel AU! Who’s surprised? (Nobody.)

So like. Have you guys read that one fic where Luke and his students go back in time and pretend to be Sith Lords and are super hammy about it? (Sith Lord Swell by AMournfulHowlInTheNight)

This AU has contributions by @atagotiak, @the-lunar-system, @purronronner, @gelpenss, @creepingthroughthistidalwave, and @thisarenotarealblog.

I want TCW trio (plus Rex and Cody) to go back to several years pre-TPM and, since the Council DEFINITELY won't believe them about the Sith being back... they'll force the issue.

Anakin is weirdly excited about things and building up their backstory.

Anakin: Okay so I can definitely be a Maul type, with the unhinged ranting and manic laughter, Obi-Wan can be the whole Refined Rich Guy type like Dooku, where you can't even tell he's evil until he starts talking about getting out the eyeball scoops, maybe toss in a bit of mad science stuff? Ahsoka could play up like Ventress OR, oh oh, she can be the Light Side Child we need to PROTECT who's publicly begging us to return to the Light after our big dramatic Falls where we murdered like eighty people to save her, and-- Obi-Wan: Why are you never this enthusiastic about actual undercover missions. Ahsoka: Did you just have all this ready to go, or...? Anakin: WE COULD GET YELLOW CONTACT LENSES FOR ME.

Obi-Wan: How's my evil laugh?

Anakin going “Okay.. so if any of us need to murder someone to sell the bit it should be me, I think I could handle it the best. Why? No reason.”

Obi-Wan: I'm not sure a complete Fall could come from protecting Ahsoka, really-- Anakin: No, no, it could.

Obi-Wan: Surely you’d hold back because you realize neither of us want that for you. Anakin: Uh. Sure. Definitely.

Obi-Wan points out that none of them can channel the dark side to Prove they're Sith and Anakin just goes "Okay, give me like two seconds to stew in my negativity and--right, you can stop staring in horror, please."

Anakin rambles on that they can TOTALLY make the galaxy a better place while playing at being Sith! He's got a whole LIST of slave empires to "take over" and disassemble!

Anakin has a whole excited spiel about how EVIL soldiers and assistants are minions, in this case partly because Cody and Rex are too good at what they do to be mooks. Cody could pull off evil minion very well. Facial scar? Looks good in black? Quietly competent and sarcastic?

He also pushes for Obi-Wan to lounge in a fancy throne with a glass of wine while Anakin stalks the shadows and Ahsoka hangs out on the window ledge. The disaster lineage is dramatic, okay, Anakin’s just leaning into it, he’d appreciate it if everyone stopped looking at him like that.

Qui-Gon, surprisingly, ends up a skeptic about all of this. Everyone is freaking out about the Sith and he’s like “y’know I’m not even sure they’re darksiders.”

Some Jedi, possibly Qui-Gon for his conspiracy board, gets in a real risky situation and one of the Fake Sith saves them, but also panics and kinda drops character for a bit.

Jedi: You saved me! Why’d you do that? Anakin: I uh... just wanted the pleasure of killing you myself?

"You saved me. Why?" "Mmmm. Jedi." [walks away]

Qui-Gon: [trying to figure out what is up with these people semi-competently (from his perspective) pretending to be Sith] Dooku: [trying to protect Qui-Gon from Sith influence]

The gang is the most successful at pretending to be Sith to Dooku. Sure, they’re not gonna punish him for something he hasn’t done, but it’s not hard to act menacing and angry around him.

(They really do have so much fun irritating the heck out of Dooku. He hasn’t Fallen yet, but they want to keep an eye out.)

At some point, future Obi-Wan definitely drops that little tidbit of "What, you didn't think the Banites were the only Sith running around did you? You... didn't even know about the Banites. How... disappointing."

They REGULARLY use Ahsoka as an excuse to be marginally less terrible. They claim that if Ahsoka pouts, they stop. ‘Soka also uses them as an excuse for why she’s a lil feral. (To be fair, that one is accurate. She was already a lil feral before but it’s not like they did anything to stop it.) Ahsoka gets her "breaking into people's offices" jollies by bugging Nute Gunray's office.

The Jedi keep trying to Rescue Ahsoka.

Rex and Cody end up in real beskar, there's a whole Thing with Mandalore and Jango and Satine.

Obi-Wan is CONSISTENTLY worried about Anakin Falling for real, which... hey, at least he knows to be worried about Anakin Falling. Step up from canon, really.

Anakin is WAY too into killing the Hutts but like. It does... technically sell the bit.

Obi-Wan: Sure, I’m not sad that they’re dead, especially because we’re not connected to the Republic, so we don’t need to worry about starting a war and all that. But. Anakin is disturbingly cheerful about this. Rex: Wasn't he a Hutt slave? Obi-Wan: Well yes, but-- Rex: I'd kill Nala Se if I could get away with it.

Cody and Rex are very supportive of Anakin's murderous intentions.

Obi-Wan does understand anger, even killing someone in anger. Like Maul (the first time at least) and D’nar and a few others. All the same, like... y’know. The level of bloodthirst from the others is a little off-putting.

At one point, Anakin accidentally addresses young Obi-Wan by name, despite never having met before, and to cover it up, he... panic-flirts. He panics, and so he flirts, with young Obi-Wan.

(He will later blame this on old Obi-Wan, because he had to pick up the habit of flirting with the enemy from somewhere.)

Anakin vaguely implies that he's a wee bit obsessed with young Obi, and that the padawan should "get used to being the target of a dark-sider's interests," because he’s scrambling for Ominous Shit and, well, future Obi-Wan was pretty frequently a fixation point for darksiders, right?

The second he gets out, he just starts screaming into a bucket while Rex pats him on the back.

For the next however many terrible months, possibly years, he has to keep up the act while having an ongoing meltdown about how That's My Dad As A Twenty-Something.

(It doesn't help that young Obi-Wan reflexively flirted back.)

Old Obi-Wan, meanwhile, is just very "you dug this hole yourself, padawan."

There is an argument at the beginning about Obi-Wan’s outfit. If he’s gonna be a Sith, he can’t just go around in beige, but he’s like “I like this and it’s comfy.” Sure, he’s changed clothes for undercover stuff, but that’s always been temporary, y’know? He likes his beige.

We have a number of options.

My first instinct? Beige linen three piece suit, like a southern lawyer. "Now I may just be a simple Outer Rim force adept--"

And, of course, you can TOTALLY make the beige sinister: he’s impersonating a Jedi! Jedi impersonation would also explain why nobody has a red saber.

“Sure is good that the Jedi don’t seem to realize most of the galaxy doesn’t know red sabers are different and bad.” “Shhhh, stop poking holes in our story where a Jedi might overhear.”

Like.... if you do enough doublethink, it works! How would a Sith hide? In plain sight. Also, it’s a GREAT way (if they were actually assholes) to try to slander the Jedi name.

(Anakin and Ahsoka still think he could stand to put a little more effort in. Add a splash of color, for pity's sake!)

Though tbh part of me is like “What if Old Obi wore, like... a split skirt suit...” Victorian womenswear inspired because he misses his robes, but he has to look Professional, and like he's MOCKING Jedi instead of BEING one, so he wears a vintage-y split skirt thing over his leggings. Ends up looking a lot like what Ventress had for a while, but Beige. I also keep wanting to put him regency menswear.

Anyway. Obi-Wan’s wardrobe aside...

Anakin builds up his Tatoo accent again. It helps him with the (mostly true) "slavery helped me fall" backstory.

Either Cody or Rex offhandedly mentions being made to serve them (the Fake Sith) and now the Jedi are somewhat concerned about brainwashing. Are these Mandos the victims here?

“No like. Literally made for this. In a lab.” This is even more horrifying. So...

On the one hand good! The Jedi should be scared about Sith! On the other hand... it makes the Jedi more determined to stop them, specifically. They keep on getting in the way, just, all the time, and they’re not investigating the actual Sith problem, which is decidedly not great since the Team doesn’t actually know who’s a real Sith right now, except Maul, and who even knows where that guy is.

Obi-Wan, at some point: Do you think we've succeeded at this ruse... a little TOO well? Anakin: I don't follow. Obi-Wan, gesturing at the truly obnoxious amount of wealth they've collected, including "trophies" of their kills: Really? Because I'm a little worried! Anakin, planning out a battle to take on Nar Shadda: ...I'm not.

"How many people do we realistically we need to take over Hutt Space? Apparently... five."

(Mostly because Anakin is ridiculously op.)

ANAKIN AND YOUNG OBI GET KIDNAPPED BY PIRATES TOGETHER. It's tradition.

Anakin: Okay, so, I need to get really angry about something to pass as a Sith... time to think about my WIFE and how I'll NEVER SEE HER AGAIN.

Since Anakin’s life never goes as planned... this does not work. Instead of getting properly angry, he makes himself sad. There are tears. There is wailing. There’s a distraught rant or two. Young Obi ends up awkwardly trying to comfort him.

“Oh no, this… Sith?? Is crying on me. What do I do???”

Later on, when the Council wants intel: "So... one of the Sith cried on me about his wife. I think she's dead? He wasn't very clear about it but it, uh... it sounded like it might have contributed to his Fall. Also the relationship was a little unhealthy? He basically worshiped the ground she walked on and kept ranting about how he would have given her the galaxy on a platinum platter of she'd only asked, but that might be new and inspired by the Dark."

One of the random Jedi is REALLY good at detecting the truth Through The Force, and asks Anakin how he Fell...

Anakin just. Tells the Tuskens story.

They don't get pinged as lying, but oh boy does old Obi have a LOT of questions for Anakin once they're in private.

There are other things happening to help sell the ruse. Some of them are necessary! Some of them are... not.

Obi-Wan: What's the best way to show we're rich and kind of evil, but like... classy about it? Anakin, immediately: I sit on the floor next to the throne, leaning against it, and you call me pet names while stroking my hair, and then when you need something killed I get to do it for you and then I go back to the floor and you thank me for the directed violence, and then you go back to Negotiations with criminals while I’m sitting there covered in blood. Obi-Wan: ...is there something you want to TELL us, or...?

"You're all going to get a glimpse of something normally kept hidden about me." "Anakin, you don't have to do that." "No, I'm gonna."

(Anakin has decided hes going to peel his kink tomato to sell this ruse, and the others are slightly uncomfortable with that.)

Anakin: Okay, I cannot keep flirting with you. Young Obi: Wait, what? But that's the best part of any time we run into you! Anakin: You look WAY too much like my Master did when I met him. Obi: O...kay? If someone looked like my master when HE was young, I'd-- Anakin: My Sith Master half-raised me. He's basically my dad. Obi: ... Anakin: What's that look for? Obi: I mean, you spend a lot of time lounging at his feet, and, like, given how much you hate slavery, I... kind of assumed it was a kink thing? Anakin, brightly: Oh no, I just have a LOT of trauma. And neuroses. Snips says they’re neuroses.

Young Obi is a little upset because he was actually getting REALLY into Flirting With The Enemy and was hoping it would go somewhere. He mopes to Qui-Gon about it. Qui-Gon isn't sure whether to be proud about Obi breaking rules, or worried over Obi-Wan falling for a Fake Sith.

(As Tia put it: "You enjoy making young Obi-Wan have a completely unrequited crush on Anakin, don’t you?")

Fortunately, one of those attractive Young Mando boys very kindly helped him tape up his ribs this one time, and has thus caught his eye...

I feel like having Cody date Young Obi would court an entirely different kind of (internet) drama because clone ages, but whatever.

Also please imagine an element of "so I'm dating the genetic identical of my boss... who's dating the man I'm a genetic identical of..."

(It's probably not actually Jangobi but man would that be funny and also stupid.)

Somehow Young Obi figures out that the "Sith Master" is a future him before he realizes that they're not actually dark. In his defense, Anakin was pretty convincing. Especially with the wife rant. It makes HIM more obsessed with Anakin, in a reversal of the implied earlier dynamic, which is all kinds of weird. Less romantic but like. Still weird.

"Future Me Scares Me" with Extra stupid. "Future Me Annoys Me." "Future Me acts like grandmaster Dooku, but more sass." "Future Me raised a really hot evil guy that refuses to bang Present Me." "Future Me might be a Sith, but I'm getting more and more convinced he's just fucking with us all." "Future Me is really rocking that beard, and I can't BELIEVE we figured out a way around the babyface."

"I’m kinda concerned about the whole evil thing, but I’m also glad that I know I’ll stay hot as I get older."

Quinlan approves of the priorities.

Also a lot of interactions with older Obi are very Anakin: [does/says something deeply unhinged] Obi-Wan: So, do you want to…. Talk about that? Maybe? Anakin: What’s there to talk about?? I’m fine, everything’s fine! Anyways how about those plans for tracking down Maul?

Anakin later, like way after the ruse is lifted, just blankly tells everyone that he did Fall, once, and Older Obi made him get therapy about it after the truth came out between the two of them a few months into the Fake Sith thing.

Where'd they find a therapist? I'm sure there's one SOMEWHERE around. Denon and Herdessa are close enough, and they've done enough "your criminal empire now belongs to me" that they can pay well. They make sure to find one that takes confidentiality real seriously.

It's all very "we need some more time to unpack all that."

Therapy helps get Anakin to figure out Sheev’s whole deal. They don't necessarily figure out he’s a Sith from it, but they figure out he’s sketchy and they need to look into that more. Obi-Wan probably already thought he was sketchy, but the whole active gaslighting campaign was a little surprising. They realize that he kinda benefited a lot from a lot of Sith plots and they still probably don’t think he’s a Sith but Obi-Wan is definitely starting to think he’s working with one.

"Okay, we're already bugging Gunray, should we bug Palpatine just to be safe?"

They get away with a lot of slicing because Anakin is a technical genius from twenty years in the future.

The reasons they're so good at Taking Over Hutt Space: 1. They know parts of the future. 2. They have superpowers and FAR less reason to not use them, now that their actions aren't going to reflect on the Republic. 3. They have Cody and Rex, who are two of the greatest military minds in the galaxy, and know EXACTLY how to wage a war that covers a solid third of the galaxy, starting from a position of relative weakness. 4. Anakin's charisma is scary high, and his knowledge of slave culture means they gain a lot of trust from the people they free, and they just... keep acquiring volunteers for the army they didn't plan to have. Obi-Wan doesn't know what to do. He thinks they might have started a cult?

In his defense, Dooku sort of started a cult, and Komari got kidnapped by a cult, brainwashed into joining it properly, and then took it over as head figure of said cult. It's practically tradition!

Comics Vader is the central figure of like three different cults, it was really just inevitable.

Anakin: Aw, don't worry master, it's not a cult, it's a revolution! Ahsoka: They're worshiping him, though. Anakin: ...it's still a revolution! Just... with some misunderstandings.

Also, if they got wind of people trying to keep people from being able to leave and other culty stuff like that, they’d probably put a stop to it pretty damn quick.

Names! Time for names. As per usual, it's easiest to keep track of Obi-Wan's alternate Older Self by just calling him Ben.

Darth Ben.

Ahsoka: You should be Darth Boring. Obi-Wan: I can still make you run laps, you know.

Anakin: The Force is telling me to call myself Darth Vader. Obi-Wan: ...why? Anakin: I dunno, but it sounds cool, I'll run with it.

Someone: Ben has all the answers; we shouldn’t question him, ever. Ben: One time I lost a planet, and a five-year-old found it for me.

More options: Going with the "evil word with the prefix 'in' chopped off" that we get with Sidious and Vader: Darth Surrectus (as in insurrection) Just random Latin words: Darth Temporus (time) Darth Commenticius (fake)

Anyway, back to Nonsense:

Maul goes after young Obi early, because the Fake Sith are really invested in this one random Padawan (Sidious is saying he might be a cousin of the false Sith Master? They do look similar enough) so someone needs to investigate. Naturally, Anakin shows up with some wild screeching to fight Maul, and when someone questions why he got involved it gets very "Kenobi is MINE!" and like. Okay. So.

Anakin means it in a very Sith "to toy with" and "to torture" way, or the ‘my chosen opponent!’ way, just the same kind of Obsession as Maul had with Obi-Wan in the original timeline. Unfortunately, Anakin’s a weird-ass person who flirts with Young Obi against his own better judgement, so there's some awkward "Like... your boyfriend?" from young Obi. Anakin just screeches in SOME emotion that nobody wants to interpret, and couldn't even if they wanted to, and starts whacking away at Maul again.

(Anakin hasn't explained the "you look exactly like my dad, sorry, it's just too weird" thing yet, and he is HAVING MANY REGRETS.)

There's definitely at least one instance where a person asks Anakin if he's planning on dating That One Jedi Twink, or at least banging out the tension. At that point in time, Anakin doesn't actually know who the fuck they're talking about, because "Obi-Wan + Twink = Does Not Compute" for dear, dense Ani, and instead he just ends up ranting about how he is LOYAL TO THE MEMORY OF HIS LATE WIFE, how DARE anyone so much as INSINUATE that he would TARNISH HER PERFECT MEMORY and UNWAVERING KINDNESS and WHOLESOME BEING, and the person who asked doesn't end up lightsabered but they do end up with a LOT to tell whoever they're reporting to.

Young Obi-Wan definitely hears Anakin mutter the phrase “something to discuss with my therapist later” a few times, and he’s a little bewildered because darksiders definitely don’t seem like the type of people to go to therapy. They’re the type of people to need therapy, sure, but not the type to go to therapy.

I think it would be very fun for Young Obi to continue sighing over Anakin (who's pretending to be fine with it and even flirting back because he's in too deep to stop and hasn't worked up the courage to explain the elephant in the room) while Anakin is covered in grease and infodumping while having a slightly manic hyperfocus on engine repairs while the two of them Somehow got stranded together in the middle of bumfuck nowhere (it's Plagueis's doing, he finds the interactions between THESE two in particular to be the most informative regarding the fake Sith).

Anakin, at some point while stranded with young Obi-Wan, and having actually started unpacking some stuff in therapy, though he’s def still got a ways to go: I’m pretty sure Ben cares about me. He acts like he cares, like he’ll do stuff like put extra blankets in my quarters in the spaceship because I get cold real easily or track down those droid parts I need for a project and he always has my back in a fight but y’know it’d be nice to hear him say he loves me once in a while. Especially because we kinda had a rough start and idk I don’t think he wanted me around at first.

And uh. Obi-Wan definitely relates to that a bit too much, y’know?

I want to say that Young Obi ends up mentioning All That to one of the clones or Ahsoka later, because they seem probably invested in Anakin's well-being, even if Ben is, well, a Sith, so Obi-Wan's a little worried the man's affection really is fake, but at least Ahsoka...

(Ironic, given what Anakin's actual eventual Sith would-be-Master was like.)

Young Obi mentions Anakin’s most recent rant to Ahsoka, and she just goes "Wait, is that why Skyguy likes to sit by the throne and get called pet names?" "Uh... I don't... know... but it sounds like all of you have a LOT to unpack there, Miss Apprentice."

Later on: "Master Kenobi, you need to tell Skyguy you love him 'cause apparently he's been having a lot of emotions about you not telling him you care and he's been talking to mini-you about it whenever they get stuck together and--"

Young Obi-Wan is just constantly the "Now we don't have time to unpack all of that" John Mulaney gif. Anakin in particular is a mess, and young Obi-Wan slowly goes from "I want to date that" to "I want to study that" about him.

Obi-Wan gets stuck somewhere with Ben, tries to small talk, gets on the topic of Vader, and spills the drama. He gets an awkward “Thank you for bringing that to my attention.”

It’s followed by a fairly frustrated “I try, but Anakin refuses to communicate his needs to me, and it feels like I’m always falling short.”

At least one member of the group is in therapy, probably all of them, but they’re still using young Obi as a sounding board for all this stuff. On the bright side, this is probably good for impressing the importance of good communication on Obi-Wan.

Good for Obi-Wan! And... whatever Padawan he eventually has.

As for baby Anakin, who is approximately age four, I want to go with "Anakin decides to be his own uncle, and Shmi just rolls with it because fuck it, she’s not a slave anymore, and a Fake Sith is a solid defense against anyone trying to re-enslave them."

[This is a backstory I've had them use before (see here and here).]

Seeing Big Ani and Little Ani in the same space might be what finally pings the "oh shit, that's future me" thing for Obi-Wan... you know, if he’s ever allowed close enough to see Little Ani in the first place.

Little Ani stays with the fake-Sith and is sorta jointly trained by all of them, and young Obi-Wan teaches little 'Soka at the Temple. Ani and 'Soka still end up friends somehow, but it is fairly different.

Every time little Ani addresses Old Obi as "Dad," it's just like ten kinds of awkward. The one time someone tried to explain that Ben wasn't his new dad, Shmi glared them down. She is of the opinion that, all the gods be damned, Ani deserves to refer to the most mature man in his life, who raised another him in another timeline already, as a father.

Ani doesn't NEED a father, Shmi herself is more than enough, but he does deserve to have this if he wants it.

An alternative conclusion to the time travel is uh. So the Mandalorians are genetically identical (give or take a hair gene) and really resemble Jango Fett, though whether anyone notices that is up in the air. Then the three ‘Sith’ (two fake Sith and their morality chain tag-along) have three younger, identical copies show up….

It could be really weird cloning shenanigans. Now, it makes no sense that they’d make clones, and stagger their production like that, and leave them as babies on various planets for Jedi to find. IDK what reasons Obi-Wan would come up with for that, but it’s a fun little detour before he gets to time travel.

There's a really painful moment (for the audience, who know about canon Vader) where someone tries to convince Ahsoka to leave the Sith and she's just like "no way, they'd never hurt me!” Then she clarifies that “someone has to keep them from doing stupid Sith shit whenever they get bored, you know?"

A bunch of Jedi probably think she’s delusional, but the few that have seen her get into trouble that is legitimately too much for her, which isn't often, have then seen Anakin show up like the devil himself to save her, and it's like. Oh. This is why she isn't scared of them hurting her.

We’ve discussed how Anakin does get concerningly in character with the fake Sith thing. However, Anakin and Ahsoka are, just once in a while, surprised by how Ben gets sometimes when playing the bad guy.

After all, he stabbed a dude with a fork and threatened to eat him during his time as Hardeen…

He has the same dramatic streak as all the rest of the lineage. He can be vindictive and creepy and scary as fuck.

HOWEVER:

Obi-Wan: I know I'm supposed to be playing at evil right now, but how do we feel about me making that evil a little... fruity? Ahsoka: Fruity, master? Anakin, who knows where this is going: [buries face in hands] Obi-Wan: You know, the... [limp wrist] Ahsoka: ... Obi-Wan: I mean, I'm already bisexual and well-groomed, I can play it up.

What’s the point of being evil if you can’t be flamboyant?

Anyway, I had to put in a lot of thought for what to do with Rex and Cody, because there's a solid place for them in terms of strategy, but it doesn't do much to give them independent narrative arcs, and 'young Obi-Wan has a crush' isn't much of an arc, you know?

So, basic info first: Cody, Rex, and Anakin all hold the rank of General in this AU because, like... who else is gonna. Ahsoka remains a commander because everyone declares her Baby, and also to keep up the "I'm a morality chain" ruse.

Cody maintains a very stern and unyielding public persona, but the second they're behind closed doors, he's roughhousing with his little brother.

Rex has some fun pretending to be a sadist whenever he and Anakin have to team up, because hamming it up as an evil bastard in front of Jedi is actually really fun... but usually, he's a competent fucking professional.

Because here's the thing: someone has to be.

They both kind of hate the army they've gotten, because these people don't even have proper trigger discipline, let alone any actual discipline.

This army? Tragic. They hate it. Give them the clones.

They have to be drill sergeants for months before they have anything worth sending onto the field.

I think that might be how/when they end up reaching out to Jango. Like, the first inroad is absolutely "we're your clones from the future and you were a Shit Dad so you owe us," but then they actually talk him around into letting the Fake Sith hire him. He brings along all the Mandalorians he can get to answer his calls, and on suggestion from Those Mando Twins, joins the army Ben doesn't even want.

Darth Boring doesn't want an army! Unfortunately, Cody thinks that's stupid as hell, and is overruling Ben so they can actually work on this 'cleaning up the galaxy of slavery' thing with actual resources.

Cody and Rex are super competent, and it shows in their horrified disdain for the state of their troops.

Rex: Fucking natborns. Anyone who isn't in the know: What's a natborn? Rex: [leaves without answering] People: WHAT'S A NATBORN???

(I'm assuming that the word smush is harder to parse in Basic.)

I think young Obi-Wan's new crush on Cody should also be unrequited. Cody's just like... bemused. Very "Okay, then, that sure is an Affection you've decided on."

Cody and Anakin both: Sorry, it’d just be too weird. Obi-Wan: Why would it be too weird? Cody and Anakin: Reasons.

Rex has to deal with the "whyyyyy" from both his brother and his (former?) General.

Young Obi-Wan just likes cute boys that fight good! Is that so wrong???

Ahsoka: So since we're not officially Jedi anymore-- Obi-Wan: We're still Je-- Ahsoka: Can we date? Can I date now? I want to date someone before we go back to the Code. It's a classic life experience for most teenage girls, and I want to Have That Experience before we're back at the Temple. Obi-Wan: You're not... you can date, Ahsoka, that's not actually banned by the Code. I mean, you'd have to keep it casual, but-- Ahsoka: I CAN DATE!!!

(Great priorities, Ahsoka.)

An idea I'm toying with is that one of the clones ends up Legally Engaged to Satine for political reasons, and young Obi-Wan is just like ???? because not only can he not date the hot boys, but one of said hot boys has become Mr. Steal Yo Girl.

Young Obi-Wan is suffering, and Quinlan is the worst friend ever because Quinlan is laughing at him.

There is obviously the question of

"How would Satine ever end up agreeing to that, given what their public personas are like and all that? She puts duty ahead of personal feelings but all indications are that it’s a terrible decision both ways." (as stated by Tia)

Which, yes, I forgot to actually say that I was imagining Jango had declared "those twins" his heirs after telling people they were his younger* cousins. Because reasons.

* Jango is about 27 when they land in the past, and I’m going to say the accelerated aging ended after hitting physically twenty because no, I don’t want to deal with that. As far as anyone knows, Cody and Rex are about five years younger than Jango. They’re less than year apart, which isn’t very visible, and most people assume they’re identical twins (except Rex’s hair), and that Cody just looks slightly older because of the scar.

Darth Boring had convinced Satine that the way to keeping Mandalore peaceful was to work with Jango (because Darth Boring, which is not his actual title but it is what Ahsoka insists on calling him in private, has a vested interest in keeping Mandalore and all interested parties calm), and he... maybe accidentally set up a political marriage between her and one of the clones.

It wasn't on purpose! Satine never married in his timeline, okay, he didn't expect her to ever get married here, either! He didn't even suggest it! This just happened!

(I want to say that Cody would be more competent at having a political marriage? But IDK.)

Do I do the Satine thing? It has potential, but also it's a bit of a cop-out. Do I have Cody be a diplomatic representative for their pseudo-Sith empire? He could be, but I think he'd hate it. Do I have Rex date one the Chaos Entities (Anakin or Ahsoka), or is that too repetitive with my other works? THERE'S JUST TOO MUCH GOING ON.

Part of me wants Quinlan to get a crush on Cody, and the crush gets bigger specifically in response to the fact that Cody refuses to take him seriously and/or just doesn't give him the time of day.

Based on their one interaction in TCW, they probably let get along ok. Cody maybe likes him back, buuuuuuut internally he's just a little "you were tolerable at almost-forty; early twenties you is obnoxious."

Just imagine the absolutely puppyish attempts at gaining approval and Impressing The Hot Mando General. Quinlan keeps having vague daydreams of seducing someone to the side of the Light. He really leans into the bodice ripper fantasies of saving someone evil with the power of love! (And also the power of really good sex.)

Bant looks at Quin and Obi and wants to throw them both into the nearest pond because they're idiots, but on this topic they are the same flavor of idiot. She considers calling up Reeft and Garen to help her knock some sense into them.

Quinlan: Can I volunteer to go undercover to the Sith? The Council: No. Quinlan: ...what if I-- The Council: No.

Tholme tries to get Qui-Gon to commiserate over their Padawans getting obsessed with Hot Sith Boys, but Qui-Gon just finds the whole thing funny. He knows from the chats he has with Ben that Anakin feels so completely, utterly, incredibly awkward about all of this.

(Ben continues to hold to "Anakin brought this on himself.")

(Ben also “kidnaps” Qui-Gon a lot.)

Also, hey, at least Quinlan isn’t actually into hot Sith boys! He’s into hot Sith minions which is... probably a step up. At least Cody’s not a Sith himself!

It's a step in some direction but Tholme has no idea which one.

(Quinlan sees Cody in dress uniform once and just keeps the mental image for Ages. It’s in his dreams. Sometimes said dreams overflow to Tholme via Force Mind Magic and Quinlan wakes up to someone smacking his face with a pillow.)

Arguably, Quin's also a lot more romantic about his crush than Obi-Wan is, in this case. Quinlan: I want to save him... Obi-Wan: Hey, hey, cute boy. Look at me. Let’s bang.

Cody: There are currently two future Jedi generals having some form of absurd romantic fixation in my direction. I don't know how to feel about this. Rex: Bed them. Cody: ...I'm not saying that's not eventually an option, but one of them is the younger Kenobi, and I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that. Rex: Pat him on the head like a tooka and then bed his friend, it'll be funny.

I think the Quinlan thing and also general exasperation of leading an absolutely useless army can function pretty solidly as the basis for Cody, but I have another idea for Rex now.

Komari is currently brainwashed in a cult, yes? So.

I keep bouncing around back and forth on what to do with Rex, but part of me suddenly really likes the idea of, after Team Fake Sith finds and dissolves the cult (as one does), and takes Komari into custody (because she's dangerous and deeply unwell), Rex kind of ends up her touchstone to being a decent person. He’s not a morality chain, and it’s not really a redeemed-through-love thing, just This Is A Solid Dude who doesn't pity her or thinks she's irredeemable (however you choose to define such a thing), but actually relates to the kind of conditions living like that can involve, and just kind of...

I don’t know. I think Rex's arc in this AU could be very heavily grounded in something to the effect of "You're not the worst darksider I've met. You're not the only person who was in a cult. You're not even the only former Jedi I know that's committed awful, horrible crimes. My question is just this: What are you going to do moving forward?"

Later Anakin: Wait, who do we know that was in a cult? Rex: What did you think Kamino was?

(Rex isn't as chill as he'd like her to think, but he's trying, and she's fairly reliant on the Force to understand emotions, and is currently in nullifying cuffs, so he can bluff.)

Komari needs someone solid and dependable to rely on for at least conversation, and I think Rex needs to feel needed.

I’m not sure if it’d be romance or friendship, but I think there's a solid basis to work with, potentially.

Per Tia:

One thing about Rex and shipping is like. If you want to do Rexwalker again that's fine, but if you're worried about repetitiveness but still want to like. Ship him in a non-political-convenience way. Rexsoka here actually would be different than your other stuff.

I'm trying to figure out if I can make it work because Ahsoka thematically fits very much into a little sister shaped hole here? She feels younger than in other works, despite not actually being younger than she is in, say, Commander Buir. In those other fics, she has some time alone to function and prove herself independently of Anakin and Obi-Wan.

I usually pluck Ahsoka out at sixteen if I'm pulling her from TCW, so she's got most of her competence but hasn't gotten quite all the trauma yet. Commander Buir, in particular, also has baby-shaped Anakin for contrast.

That said, I can see a decent source of narrative conflict in her wanting to experiment with romance and all that, and Anakin trying to tell her she's too young.

A year into this whole time-travel mess, she wants to give the dating thing a shot, and it spirals into "You were only two years older than me when you got married!"

I think I could build a plot out of Ahsoka wanting to do these things, and Anakin as an audience insert not quite processing that she's old enough to make these decisions. If she's choosing to date Rex, whose age works out as being close to hers when one takes into account Kamino fuckery, and whom she trusts absolutely, it’s arguably extra weird for Anakin to be upset with it.

"Senator Amidala was five years older than you, and you married her when you were nineteen and had only really known her for a week! I can go on a date with a guy we both know is one of the most trustworthy people alive if I want, Skyguy!"

I can definitely see Ahsoka getting annoyed with Anakin being overbearing and controlling at some point before that unrelated to romance, too. It’s not exactly a new fault of his.

My god, just imagine someone snidely asking Anakin "where's your little shadow?" and Anakin, being Himself and also a Fake Sith, has an emotional breakdown about how Ahsoka yelled at him for micromanaging her and not trusting her to make her own decisions in life and so she got herself a multi-month solo mission from Ben that Anakin isn't allowed to know any details about, and--

It's another one of those "oh, you have PROBLEMS problems with your mental health" incidents for the Jedi to add to the file, because Anakin having emotionally charged rants about his issues at seemingly terrible times is how they get a lot of information.

Some of the rants are planned.

Many of them, actually.

They want the Jedi to know these things.

Just, well. Anakin.

He really is a little Like That.

On that note, I'm low-key imagining that Anakin gets put on mood stabilizers by the therapist in this context, and he's doing good! He's handling his issues! He's--been captured with Obi-Wan the Younger again and his medication was confiscated.

Anakin is... not great. He's a little out of practice managing his unmedicated self, and when adding withdrawal symptoms onto that... poor Anakin.

(Poor Obi-Wan.)

I think it would be best if Anakin makes a bunch of ominous blustery comments at their captors about how they won't like what's coming to them if they take his belongings (AKA the fanny pack that has his backup pills), and then Obi-Wan just gets to watch Anakin get more and more erratic, because like. Yes, Anakin is using the Force to compensate, but unfortunately he's mostly cut off, and the stress of the situation is pushing him away from depression and into the beginnings of a manic episode.

Anakin is aware of his issues to the point where he's mostly managing, and he keeps asking Obi-Wan "would it make sense for me to [slightly deranged, very impulsive action]," and Obi-Wan realizes he's being the morality sounding board for the Hot Sith because ??? reasons?????

Eventually, Anakin does flop back in bed and dramatically throws his arm over his eyes, and says he needs his meds back, he's absolutely going to lose it, and Obi-Wan tentatively asks what kind of medication. There are levels to worry about. Mild allergy medication is one thing, but heart medication that needs to be taken every four hours is another, you know? He wants to know how much panic is appropriate.

Anakin lets him know that it's Psychiatric In Nature. Obi-Wan suddenly realizes that he really, really, really doesn't want to know what a properly erratic, unmedicated Anakin is like.

(An unmedicated Anakin really isn't nearly as bad as Obi-Wan fears. Anakin's been dealing with this for a while, and knows what his issues are and some of how to deal with them. He'd need to be running on no sleep and higher levels of stress, or to have been drugged with something meant to increase his aggression, to really lose his shit and do something worthy of Vader. RotS levels of stress and sleep deprivation is required to pull RotS levels of manic paranoid delusion.)

Tia asked:

How long does it take the Jedi in general to catch on to how like. They have opportunities. But these Sith never seem to harm any Jedi. And it’s not just like, the past timeline parts of the disaster lineage. They probably get opportunities to hurt other Jedi. Ones that are less skilled at saber work. And more importantly ones that they don’t seem weirdly interested in."

I'm not sure, really. The Jedi don't spend as much time in the Outer Rim as they could, and that's where the Team operates, so actually running into them by accident is unlikely for anyone other than Shadows.

Fortunately, it's really easy to toy with Shadows with the excuse of "I want to see how long it takes before you Fall with us."

I do want like... okay. Here’s the mental image:

Qui-Gon calls them out on being Fake Sith pretty quickly, so Ben just sort of eyes him, dramatically, and orders out "Leave us" to all non-team people. The threat of torture is implied but not stated. He gestures with wine to keep in character. He definitely makes sure Young Obi-Wan is ushered out, so it's just five time travelers, Qui-Gon Jinn, and Ahsoka's immortal force birb.

"...so, what's the reason for the farce, Obi-Wan?" "How in all the hells did you figure it out so quickly?"

(Qui-Gon cheated a bit. He could feel the broken training bond that was never properly severed due to Traumatic Death Of A Master on Ben's end)

Ben didn't realize he'd feel it! Young Obi-Wan can't feel his older self or a training bond with Anakin or Ahsoka, so why could Qui-Gon?

IDK if there would be anything on the level of crying and hugging it out, but I think it would be very funny if, every time young Obi and Anakin are getting captured by pirates or something, Ben and Qui-Gon are just having a nice afternoon tea and checking their watches to see if their respective walking bundles of neuroses are done with their adventure yet.

The Council is So Done, because Qui-Gon continues to insist that they're Not That Bad, but every time anyone other than Qui-Gon brings up the friendship, Ben laughs and makes a comment about how absolutely gullible Master Jinn is.

Obi-Wan is skeptical of his own experiences with Anakin, at least, if only because he's skeptical about Anakin's everything.

"I don't know if Vader is telling me the truth. I don't know if he's telling himself the truth. I don't think he's a great source of information even when he thinks he's being honest."

Anakin could tell Obi-Wan the full and complete truth, and Obi-Wan would worriedly put a hand to his forehead and start doing tests for hallucinations and paranoid delusions. In his defense, this is a very reasonable assumption to make with an individual like Anakin. It's just also not accurate, this time. I don’t know if Anakin hallucinates in canon without a weird inciting incident like Force Nonsense or getting drugged by the enemy, but paranoid delusion is pretty much all of RotS.

"I’m your time-traveling padawan who’s pretending to be a Sith to catch some other Sith who’re going to start a galactic civil war and those Mandalorians you like are from a clone army based on a template of Jango Fett made to serve the Jedi (because that’s totally something he’d sign up for), and one of the Sith is your grandmaster but he doesn’t seem to have fallen yet, it’s probably fine," is hard to believe.

Honestly, even if he seemed stable before saying that, which he doesn’t, it’s all real far fetched. There's a lot going on and Obi-Wan wouldn't even begin to believe it without evidence.

I've had it in my head that he and Bant and Quinlan have been gossiping about the mess for months if not years about these idiots, and at one point it became common knowledge that Ben was a Kenobi, and Bant convinced them (since the two were among the most likely in the entire Order to encounter the Fake Sith) to get a DNA sample, probably hair or blood since that's easiest so they can figure out HOW these two are related, if they are, and then there's a whole big thing.

Bant: No, no, this must be contaminated, it's coming up as Obi-Wan! Are you sure you didn't accidentally grab some of your own hairs? I know it's a little long for most of your hair, but the braid-- Quinlan: Wait, they keep claiming stuff about cloning, right? Maybe someone's a clone? Check for artificial telomeres! Bant: ...okay, so, there aren't any artificial telomeres, but the ones from apparently-Ben are... a lot shorter... um... I don't know what to do with this. It's like I have two samples from the same person, twenty years apart. Quinlan: Obi-Wan, what's that face? Why are you-- Obi-Wan: Vader told me he was a time-traveler. I thought it was the fever talking, but...

That’s how he finds out that Ben is future-him before finding out about how he’s not evil!

"Master Jinn... I think... I think the Sith controlling the Outer Rim is me from the future." "Oh, you finally figured it out?" "I AM HAVING A CRISIS HERE."

Obi-Wan, after a few hours of dazed realization, runs screaming to Quinlan and Bant like 'GUYS GUYS THIS EXPLAINS WHY VADER KEPT SAYING IT WAS WEIRD AND THAT I LOOK LIKE HIS MASTER AND THAT IT WOULD BE LIKE DATING HIS DAD.'

You know, the important stuff.

I think Qui-Gon tells him that Ben isn't evil because, like, That Sure Is A Crisis Obi-Wan's Having. He could hold off for shits and giggles, sure, but Obi-Wan’s on the edge of something Really Concerning, mentally. Best help calm him down on at least one or two things.

Obi-Wan’s maybe still a little skeptical until he confronts them over it. Because their Sith act was real good and also like. Maybe Qui-Gon just wants to believe the best of his Padawan, y’know?

Quinlan runs into Ben before Obi-Wan does, after this whole mess, and gets to observe as money changes hands and people act like sore winners about bets made for When Does Obi-Wan Figure It Out.

Anakin was saying 'soon' because he really didn't think the fever-fueled rant would be discounted as easily as it was.

Cody was of the opinion that it would take at least a few more years since they're actually pretty damn good at this whole schtick.

Quinlan: Wow, he's... going to be really disappointed that you have such a low opinion of his intelligence. Cody, gesturing at Ben: Experience. Darth Ben: ಠ_ಠ

Cody just rattles off some of the Extremely Stupid Shit that Ben's done in their time working together.

Rex cheerily offers up "You didn't even realize General Skywalker was married, sir! And they weren't subtle!" "I knew they were together, I just didn--" "Everyone knew they were together, sir. Everyone."

(Rex had the lowest opinion of their deductive capabilities. He claims it would have taken until Baby Ahsoka showed up at the Jedi Temple.)

-Once Obi-Wan accepts that they're decent people after all- Obi-Wan: Wow, Anakin, you're real good at acting unhinged! Anakin: Haha. Yeah. Thanks?