#except better cause at least youve got a rapport with those ppl | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

scarletiswailing347 · 24 days ago

Text

im having a schizoid moment but also i do gen think this cause ive thought this for a while now, i think im far too negative to be in fan spaces man

like it used to not matter cause nobody knew i existed but then ppl did start knowing i existed and now ccs know that i exist as well and despite my efforts to show up in tags less that doesnt change the fact that there are ppl who know who i am and see and spread my posts and if i cant post whatever i was feeling at the moment while liveblogging then i just dont see the point in liveblogging at all

#mine.txt #sorry anon i saw your ask and i didnt make this post cause of you but figured you should know: tbh none of this really matters to me lol #like i understand why you (general you) shouldnt be negative in fanspaces esp considering the ccs are also here and can see them #but damn if i can only say good things then i dont see the point in saying anything at all #like i may as well just keep it all to myself #or like say it all in a friend server since its practically the same function #except better cause at least youve got a rapport with those ppl #like sorry to be schizoid on. side.#but i just dont see the inherent appeal on liveblogging your every thought esp in public for the liveblogger themself #its one of those things where you do it cause other ppl are doing it too cause you know theyd like it as well #like i remember Explicitly saying that i did it cause i like reading other ppls thoughts #and figured other ppl would like to read my thoughts as well #but if some of my thoughts can genuinely hurt other ppl then i just dont see the point in broadcasting any of it #basically i just dont see whats in it for me and the risk of causing someone real life emotional harm #is far greater than what im willing to deal with #i might just post art tbh cause lbr thats all that really matters isnt it #to make the ccs happy to make other fans happy to make myself happy #all live reactions and analysis should stay in my head as it should be and how it shouldve been since the beginning #im still deciding on what to do tbh; unfortunately i love changing my mind a lot lol #ig we'll see once december/january arrives

2 notes · View notes