#excelt for depression and anxiety

[whydousernamesevenexist]

Does anyone have the urge to overshare every time they're talking about themselves?

Like, I need to describe all my thoughts in detail, or I then feel like I lied to the person and manipulated them.

Even if it's something minor and pointless.

I just have to make sure I wasn't dishonest and I didn't manipulate the other person.

[awilddreamermain]

I need to get a few things off my chest and will most likely delete this later.

I live in a low income apartment complex with my mother who can't work and had been denied Social Security almost 4 times now because the state believes that there is something out there that she can do. Honestly I'm starting to agree with them. Right now I'm the only one working, well was working until I had to quite my last job because we have issues with our vehicle and it won't last long, at this point we're waiting fir it to die completely and we'll have no way of getting around.

My mom get's general assistance from Cherokee Nation and it's $135 a month, and I have no money at all and struggling to find a job in my town. Our rent is $395, our electric runs arouns $40 and gas is around $30. We were without Foodstamps for two weeks and had to eat peas out of a can and ramen the entire time. We have good now but I never want to go that long without anything again.

This is all too much for me. I'm the "only one" who can work, I have to pay bills and rent and when I ask her to help me pay for /something/ she bitches about it. Literally all she does around the house is the dishes and it frustrates me so much because all she does is lie in bed, sleeping or on her fucking phone. She doesn't even take the dog outside and will wait to tell me to do it. I love my mom, I do, but I shouldnt have to fucking take care of her at 20 fucking years old. I should be on my own, in collegebor something, not this.

I have no friends where I live. I don't go out because I hsve no wjere to go and I'm so fucking lonely all the time and it's becoming suffocating having her here. The only reason why she lives with ME (The apartment is in my name so it's mine) is because she doesn't have any income and I need someone to take me places until I can actually get my license. Yes, I know I'm 20 and should already have it, judge me if you want I don't give a shit anymore. I already get enough shit from the family I have down here.

Speaking of family, my family is all republican while I'm Independent. I don't support Trump, I don't like Trump, I don't agree with the shit he says or does and the people who follow him are basicqlly a fucking cult, my family included excelt me. They're racist, homophobic, back stabbing pieces of shit and if I had a choice I'd leave them all behind, but the thing is my Aunt and Uncle are always there for us despite our fights and beliefs. It fucking sucks but I both love and hste them because we're family. My life is shit at this point and it feels like nothing is going to change.

My dog has a double ear infection that I can't take him to the vet fir because I can't afgord it. He's had them before and had beaten them with me cleaning it on the regular but this time it isn't enough and I don't have the right supplies to keep them clean. It's just so frustrating. My grandoa in Colorado said he'd help me pay for it but I can't accept his money because every time I do I feel so guilty. I feel so weak, like I can't do anything right.

This fucking sucks man, and I'm so tired of it. It doesn't help that I have BPD2 and a mixed Anxiety and Depressive disorder too, most days it feels like I'm drowning snd helpless and I can't fucking stand it. I'm just so tired. I sleep all the time now, I'm losing interest in something I love to do and I don't kniw what to do about it.

Sorry for the random rant.