#ex-barn hens

[cthulhu-calling]

Illusions of Love II

Bucky Barnes x Natasha Romanoff x f!Reader

Summary : You’re interning for the brilliant Natasha Romanoff, world renowned Egyptologist and art historian and the woman you’ve had a crush on for the longest time. The only problem is, she’s married. And what’s even worse? Her husband is the most attractive man you’ve ever met.

Warnings : fluff, smut, angst, threesomes, LDR, inaccurate information about Egypt (sorry)

Author’s Note : This is a NatxBuckyxf!Reader story. Whatever I’ve written about Egypt and ancient Egypt is made up and I cannot vouch for it’s validity. Please feel free to correct me if I am wrong. I’ve tried to be as respectful as possible and I apologize if the content offends anyone.

I always imagine reader as a woc but try not to use many descriptive words so my fics can be read by anyone. This work is not beta’d and any and all mistakes are my own. Comments and feedback is always appreciated.

Word Count : 1182

series masterlist

You look at yourself in the dirty mirror, contemplating if you should maybe put some makeup on. Maybe some lipstick. And mascara. Yeah, good enough. You grab a sweater for when it gets colder. You spray a little bit of perfume on and that’s it.

Dr. Nasser lived in Alexandria and you were absolutely dreading the drive. When it was just you and Natasha, you could talk about work or just sit in comfortable silence. But you know the dynamic has changed since James’ arrival. God, it’s just a crush! Why are you getting so intense about this? Natasha had let Mr. Hassan leave for the night so you had to get a fare taxi so you couldn’t even count on him to cut the tension.

You waited near the main tent for the two of them, shaking your leg even as you stood. You have no idea why you’re this nervous. When they did show up, you had to do a double take. My goodness, they’re the most attractive couple you’ve ever seen. You need to calm down. 

“Ready to go Y/n?” Natasha asks, smirking. 

“Yes, I’d take a good home cooked meal over sandwiches any day. And I can’t wait to see Hen again,” you’re smiling by the time you finish that sentence. 

“Yes, I cannot deny that she’s growing on me too,” Natasha says, smiling genuinely too. 

“Who’s Hen?” James asks. 

“Mrs. Nasser’s cat. She’s adorable,” you gush. 

“And chubby,” she points out.

“Chonky,” you giggle.

“Okay, now I gotta see this cat,” James declares.

The taxi shows up and you get into the front even though both of them insist it should be Bucky sitting up front. You’re weirded out but accept anyhow. 

“So, Y/n, you’re a grad student?” James asks.

“Yeah, art history. That’s why I’m pretty lucky I got this internship or my job prospects would be nil,” you joke.

“Oh, please, Y/n. You are my best student. You were gonna be fine with or without this job,” Natasha declares and you can feel the heat rise to your cheeks. She’s never complimented you outright before. Not like this.

“Thank you,” you mumble, unable to hold back a smile. 

“So, are you seeing someone?” James asks. You can say you weren’t expecting that line of questioning.

“Um, no. Not really,” you mumble. You decide they don’t need to know about the boyfriend that broke up with you when you said you were leaving for three months. Apparently, three months without sex would surely drive him crazy. That day you’d made a mental note, never date an ex-frat boy. 

“You don’t have to tell us if you don’t want to,” he reassures and you can hear the guilt in his tone at the prospect of having made you feel uncomfortable. 

“No, it’s just complicated,” you brush it off. 

The hand that lands slowly on your knee sends a bolt of electricity through you. Natasha’s small but weathered hand gently squeezes your knee and you find yourself wishing you’d worn something shorter, just to feel her skin on yours. 

“I’m here if you ever wanna talk about it,” she says and removes her hand with a final pat. All you can do is nod your head, still reeling from her touch. 

The rest of the ride passes in silence. Natasha and James don’t even speak to each other, oddly. 

At Dr. Nasser’s house, his wife greets you with a crushing hug. She’s a tiny woman, barely five feet and no more than ninety pounds, but her hugs have never not been painful. As the two doctors and Mr. Barnes make conversation, you follow her into the kitchen where Hen is sitting at the counter. “She’s spoiled rotten,” Mrs. Nasser declares, feeding the big cat a piece of dried meat from her hands. The cat comes to greet you, rubbing herself against you and purring. You pick her up, nuzzling into her soft fur. “She deserves to be,” you say, making the older woman laugh.

You help her set the table, against her vehement protests for you to sit down and enjoy yourself. You find you could avoid making a fool of yourself if you just stuck to Mrs. Nasser’s side. Juvenile, you know, but effective. Dinner is pleasant, the food absolutely delectable. You get to know that Dr. Nasser’s son is in Dubai, working as an architect but he’s going to be visiting soon. Mrs. Nasser offers to introduce the two of you, not bothering with subtlety at all, making heat rise to your cheeks.

“What about you James? No plans on starting a family anytime soon?” she asks. There’s an instant change in the atmosphere in the room. Natasha takes a large gulp of water, putting the glass down on the table more harshly than necessary, refusing to meet anyone’s eye.

“Believe me, ma’am, there’s nothing I’d like more,” he declares and you can feel Natasha bristle next to you.

“We’re waiting for the right time,” she adds, looking directly at James from across the table.

“Yes, we’ve been waiting for the past four years for it to be the right time,” he adds, doing little to conceal his frustration. It’s awkward, the silence that envelops the table. After a few moments, Mrs. Nasser clears her throat.

“How about some dessert? Would you be so kind as to help me, Natasha?” she questions sweetly but everyone sees it for it is a distraction to ease the growing tension and no one can deny, it is absolutely welcome.

“Sure,” Natasha smiles forcefully, following Mrs. Nasser into the kitchen. It’s quiet for a few moments until Dr. Nasser engages James into a conversation about the stock market. Or at least that’s what you think they’re talking about, you're not really listening. You’re still reeling from what just happened. Guess they’re not the happy couple you thought they were. 

The ride back is jarringly quiet, you’re in the back with Natasha again while James sits in the front, taking phone calls the whole time, at least till you fell asleep, involuntarily leaning your head against Natasha’s shoulder. She shakes you awake just as the car comes to a stop. You wipe drool from the corner of your mouth, embarrassed and confused as to why she didn’t wake you up sooner. As if reading your mind she says “You needed that nap. Plus, you looked cute,” she whispers the last part in your ear, making heat rise to your face. 

Once you reached the site, all of you retired to your tents. You longed for your comfortable back home or even one at a hotel in Alexandria. You changed into something more comfortable, warmer before slipping into your sleeping bag. You were exhausted but you couldn’t sleep. The sweet embrace of slumber was just out of reach, your mind going back to the awkwardness of dinner. You grab the book you’d been reading, trying to focus on the words on the page but failing. You toss and turn for a while after, finally falling into a restless sleep. 

[the-fiction-witch]

23rd Hi Dolly

Media Phantom Halo

Character Samuel Emmerson

Couple Samuel X Reader

Rating Spooky

Halloween day 23

I sat myself on the little wooden rocking chair on our cold wooden porch, I couldn't help but smile as I looked across the fields of infinite stretching yellow and dark musky green, Broken up only by the small grey mismatched stone walls and the lines of tall trees in the sweetest fall colours, Orange, gold, marmalade and copper. I moved myself back and forth on the chair listening to the old wood creek and the wind whistle its way through. I did utterly love our little house it brought me such utter serenity after so long jumping from Ex-crack den to half-broken sheds owned by the shadiest or shady landlords. It wasn't an enjoyable time but it was the best we had then. Now dad's gone Becket and I had done our best to work our way in the world far from any stains our father had left even after his death. An utterly fresh start and we had made the most of it, he owns the laundrette and cafe in town nowadays. I worked there with him when we first came here but I didn't last long given without an education I struggled with a lot of basic things I found myself a job just outside of town doing work on a small egg farm for a very nice man. It wasn't much but honest work for honest money and as many eggs to take home as I wanted and when all the bills come out you don't get paid again for another two weeks, Believe me, there is a lot you can do with a few eggs.

"You ready to go Sammy?" Her sugary voice smiled as she closed the door and its screen I couldn't help my wide smile as I saw her she stood on the porch in her little brown boots, her long green skirt with some orange flower pattern, her little orange blouse top to match, her little crocheted bag over her shoulder, her hair up tight in a ballerina style bun very little makeup on her face but some eyeliner, a dusting of highlighter and the slight tint from her lip balm. I suppose it is a silly old story farm hand and the farmer's daughter but from the first moment I saw her across the hen shed I was utterly smitten and it didn't take us long to get chatting even if she, of course, was the first to speak up, we found we had a love for much of the same things, we'd spent our days off sneaking up into feed barn and reading comics for hours, she also had some insight as she had lost her mother to addiction so we had some similar horror stories that seemed to bond us to one another. It wasn't long until we were a couple, and soon after her father began to express his desire to retire mostly because he hated driving from their little house on the edge of town out to the farm every day. So after a few months of saving, I asked him if he would consider selling me the farm, and the old farmhouse that sat on the land. He was tentative at first but when he found out about me and y/n he agreed on the condition that... well I look after his daughter. Needless to say, we were married at the town hall about a month later and the farm was ours. The house was utterly wrecked but we slowly fixed it up room by room doing most of it ourselves with help where we needed it. Luckily we shared a similar frugality so many things had been thrifted, upcycled even dumpster driven for, suppose when you get used to having much every single coin feels so much more important and forty-five bucks for a rocking chair seems utterly scandalous when I can buy it for five bucks and a pie from the nursing home in town, just because someone died in it. it's fine we cleaned it. We had turned the place into our nice little home and it brought me so very much joy every day to think this is the life I have now.

"Course" I smiled getting up and fixing my shirt a little before taking her hand and giving her a soft little kiss "Ohh... that's not your normal taste?"

"I ran out of my normal lip balm I had to swap to the other one"

"Oh, but I like that you taste like oranges"

"Well now I taste like strawberries." she shrugs "I'm not buying a new one till this set is finished with"

"What's the next one?"

"Lime and lemon"

"Ohh, I'm excited"

"I'm excited for shopping day" she smiled

"Yeah me too"

We headed down from the porch and to the little garage opening it up to pull out my car We climbed in and headed into town parking up in our usual place. I held her hand again as we headed through town past the various little shops until we spotted the first little thrift store We both eagerly headed inside looking through various endless items of all styles, We separated as we looked through the many pictures in old dusty frames, the fraying cushions, old scratched jewellery. I spotted her waving across the store so I glanced up and saw her with a very nice wine glass,

"How many?" I mouthed she held up four fingers "Much?" I mouthed She held up six fingers I shrugged she did the little crystal test and she was unhappy and set them back. We didn't find anything so left empty "You sure those glasses aren't bad?" I asked her

"Chipped on the top I felt it"

"Ahh fair enough" I nodded "Next one?"

"Of course" she smiled so we headed through town to the next second-hand store doing much the same again digging through to see if they had anything we would want, need, or anything we could take for a good price and resell online. I was flicking through the pictures and I found a nice painting of some autumnal fields with a farmhouse in the background and a scarecrow in the foreground, it also had a very nice frame. it likely wasn't worth much but it would fit the style of our bedroom and it would look lovely above our bed. I gave her a wave and showed her the painting she smiled seeming excited

"Painting?" she mouthed and I nodded "How much?" I checked the tag and held up two fingers "Frame?" she mouthed and I nodded She came over and gave it a nice little check "Over our bed?"

"That's what I thought"

"Agreed" she smiled taking it "I'll pay, You go take it to the car?"

"I'll meet you in the next store"

She gave them the money for the painting and I happily kissed her and headed to the car making sure the painting was safe in the back, I headed back and met up with her in the next little store and I saw she had some items already a few balls of yawn they had bundled together for really cheap as they always did in this store and then -

"What the hell is that?" I asked

"Dolly," she says showing me the porcelain doll "She has a good mark on her she's a limited edition I checked online I can make a good profit on her," she says

"I'm pretty convinced that's haunted"

"Ehh free ghost? sell it on eBay" she shrugs

"Alright, but you're keeping it in your office,"

"Okay"

We went around to a few other places and found a few bits and bobs and we headed home.

I headed back to the house after the long day of dealing with the chickens and I saw that weird doll sitting on the rocking chair the chair gently moving "Y/n!" I yelled

"What is it Sammy?" she asks coming out flour on her dress from her cooking

"Did you move the doll?"

"What doll?"

"That doll," I told her

"Ohh, No. what are you doing here dolly? you should be upstairs in my office" she says

"You promise you didn't put it there?"

"Of course, I've been inside making dinner"

"Well I've been out in the shed all day and that chair was moving"

"Perhaps it was the wind" she shrugs

"Whatever just put her back in the office"

I sat with my comic often glancing up at y/n as she sat on the sofa doing her crochet, I heard a knock on the door so I got up put my comic down and kissed her head as I headed to the door, I pulled it open expecting the postman or something but I saw that fucking doll y/n bought sat on the porch. "Hell no!" I yelled

"What?" she asks coming to see "Ohh, Hi dolly"

"Nope. It's going in the pantry"

"Alright" she shrugs

I picked up the doll took it to the pantry and locked the door "Okay if I see that doll again other than when you post it to a buyer I'm drop-kicking it into the egg shed"

"That's fair Sammy" she smiled

I laid in bed very happily cuddling y/n in the sweet darkness half asleep already, But I don't know why all of a sudden I felt like I should move, I should put my hand up, I don't know why but I just felt like I should so I moved and put my hand up and immediately felt something hit it making me open my eyes seeing the painting from above out bed had fallen off the wall luckily I caught it but if I hadn't the large painting and its heavy metal frame would have hit both me and y/n in the head "What the hell?" I asked sitting up and putting the frame down by my table to put back tomorrow

"What is it?" she yawns waking up too

"Nothing, go back to sleep y/n," I told her but even in the darkness I saw that doll sitting on our dresser staring at our bed "What THE FUCK!" I yelled waking her much more and sitting up

"What is it?" she asks

"That fucking doll!" I yelled looking back but it was gone and our bedroom door slammed violently shut and loud feet ran down our stairs "Burn the doll?"

"Burn the doll" she nods 

[nityarawal]

9/22/23

Targeting- 

(Not A Hasbeen!!!!)

Morning Songs

Russel Brand

Is Not A Hasbeen

Russel Brand

Isn't Just A Label

For U.K.'s

Geese

A

Golden Goose

Charlotte Had

Dollar Signs

In Her Eyes

First Summer Abroad

Celebrity Struck

Wouldn't Even

Take A Picture

With @RustyRockets

She Remembered 

Him

When He Was A

Tabloid Star

Trafficked In

London

By People

Who Pretended

To Love Him

To Be Journalists 

Her Auntie

Renuka

Taught Art At

Russ's Private

School

Academy

Renuka Rawal Barnes Abraham

My @X Sister-In-Law

Taught

Textile Design

Until Her

Husband Roger

"Was Made Redundant"

Then Hired

At Russel's Academy

Recruited Too

She Brought His School

Another Laborer

Cuckholded

A 2nd Class Citizen

Her 

Soon To Be "X"

Husband

Roger

On Last Legs

"A Trojan,"

Sunil Commended Him

Running

Into Your School

Always At Your Side

With A GPS

At Mark's & Spencer

Gas Station 

Runs

He Arrived

Was It Him

Or Her

That Made CPS

Abuse Kids

From School

A Partner

Trolling

Celebrity

Hungry

Moldy

My Mother-In-Law

Patricia Rawal Campbell

An Elizabethan Miniature 

Painter

Art Teacher

Shakespeare's

Yogi Capturer

Ma

Reiki Master

Kwan Yin Yogini

Elizabeth Taylor

Black Lidded

Gypsy Eyed

Priestess

Once A Generic

Jones

2nd Gen

Irish 

Genocide

Now A Campbell

Ruled By Young

Boytoy

HP Tech Bro Who

Stole Her Brown

Buddha Boys

& Grand Kids

Gautama's Baes

Buddha's For Courts

Einstein Geniuses

Cambridge Prodigy

Analytica Marine Spies

Intelligence

Maritime Dr's

Like Navy Seals

Pushing Gag

Orders

Dr. Sunil "Christopher" Rawal

Neo-Nazi

Said

About His Brother

Krishna

Who Failed Dharma

Yogi Karma

Bhagad Vad Gita

Averting Dilemmas

Dramas

Wars

'Cuz He's Got No Morals

Nor

Righteous Compass

For He's Been

A Silent Uncle

Like Haydn

How Can You Take

A Plea

When San Diego

Marines

Abuse Thee

Judges

And Officers

Raped Kids

And Me

What Is My Crime 

"A Mothers' Cult"

Says Oath Keeper Sheriff

Chad Bianco

About Divorcees

To The Riverside

DA Michael Hestrin 

Papers

Bros Say

Sheriff Drinks

With Gang

Daily

And IEHP

Court Ordered

Therapist Dr. Tima Ivanova

Can't Get

A Pathology Report

From Him; Our Riverside Coroner

Investigator 

That Gave Jessie

A One Liner

In Idyllwild Town

Crier

Paper

And Doubles

As Pathologist

Sheriff

Illegally

Working With Idy

Drug Lord's

It Seems

But Who Follows

Us

Just Me

Who Follows Us

Just Me

Whose Gagged

Raped

Bled

Nearly Stabbed

With Lymes

By Lewd Klu Klux Klan

Militia

Skinheads

Plan B

Ticks

Robbers

Just Me

Just You

When You Gonna

Get Your Bearings

Just Me

Just You

Wanna Know 

What I Thought

Every Time I Met

Russel Brand

A Whimsical 

Adoring Artist

Fan

Devoted To David Lynch

Wanna Know

What I Thought

Just A Kid

In 2009

Scrawny

Pretty

New

Ex Patriot

I Slung My

Bae

And Went To Donovan's

Show

With Minette

In Hollywood

My Young Sexy Doula

With A Hibiscus Flower Behind Her Ear 

And My Newborn

Paparazzi

Everywhere

Wanna Know

What I Felt

Really Safe

VIP Lounge

With Lila

Eden-

Wallace's

From MUM 

College

VIP Lounge

After Party

Hiding Out

Escaping

For Pancakes

Breastfeeding

Anj 1st

Whose That Gopi

Gypsy Boy

Skinny Budding

In His Skin

Lighting Up

Young Hipster

Doug Henning

Magician In

Reception Lines

Serving David Lynch

A Right Hand Man

Like Maharishi

Mahesh Yogi

Himself

and Skin Boys

Johnny Grey

Alike

With Guru Dev

A Teacher

Disciple

Relationship

Johnny Grey

Skinboy

To Cleanse

To Transform

Make "The Change"

From Trafficking 

England

"Men Are From Mars,

Women From

Venus,"

Says New Age Lovers

"X" Barbara Deangelis

Teaching

Polarity

Wanna Know What

We Thought

When We Took

Newborn Baby

Anj

To Her First 

Concert

In Hollywood

6 Weeks Old

Out Of

Encinitasbeachhome.com 

After "Oil" Mother Baby Ayurvedic Program

In Hollywood

At The "El Rey"

Theater

I Felt Safe

With Russel

I Trust My Compass

Intuition 

Not A Lawyer

Trying To Smear

Another Hasbeen

Misunderstood

Before His Time

Just A Humble Dad

Resisting A Hologram

"Branding" Him

Eternally

Like Michael Jackson

Britney Spears

Britney Murphy Holocaust

#Ye Fights

From Conservators

Kimmy #2.

Bianca Trans

Forced Drugs

Plea Bargains

Handlers

We Fought For You

And Demand

Our Reperations

Forced Drugs

Plea Bargains

Removed

We Fought For You

And Demand

"Quash It" 

Our Reparations 

#Metoo

Merci

Beaucoup

Met Russel Brand

Once Again

At A LA Comedy

Fundraiser

For DLF

In 2012

Went For Jerry

Seinfeld

To Introduce

'X's" Half-Bro's Debutante Niece

From UK

Charlotte

But Russel Brand

Kissed My Forehead

Like Jesus Christ

Himself

Before Her

Wafting Up

Smelling Of

Nag Champ

Up Close

After Meditation

Charlotte Took Our Picture

Smelling Sweet

A Cloud Of Incense

Like Nag Champa 

Beside Me

Pure

Who Wouldn't Fall

Into That Divine

Embrace

Yummy Mummy

50 Pounds Overweight

Felt "Hot" For A

Minute

Certainly 

Who Wouldn't 

Ma

Don't You Want A

Picture Too

Russel Asked Charlotte

Don't You Want

A Picture Too

We Both Offered

Patiently

She Was Stuck Up

Snobby

Greenwashed

London- Berry

Spun Doctored

On UK Tabloids

Grooming

Lies

Dr's Bribes

Not Even Your

Smart "Bookie-Wook"

She Recommended

Swayed Her

Your Books

"A Good Read"

She Admits

Could Change

Her Judgements

Though She Ordered

"Bookie Wook 2,"

Hungrily

Greedily

For Brits Abroad

Desperately

Or Were

They Bribes

For Nonce Charles

First A Barnes

Before Rawal 

A Loyal Niece

To An Art Teacher

First A Barnes

Then A Rawal

Her Step Grandfather 

Was The 1st 

Keith

Of 3

In Rawal Child

Abducting

First A Barnes

Than A Rawal

She Studied Textile Design

Like Auntie Ren

First Barnes

Than A Rawal

Neanderthal-Indian

In A Hybrid Skin

Got Her A Job

Mentoring

With Peter Dunham

At "Lucky" Denim

1st A Barnes

Like Amelia Airheart

Pilot 

Expatriot

"Victor" Galore

1st Job

We're Those Char's Textiles

That Cloaked

Josh Radnor's

Cushions

In New Story

About Hollywood Home

Were Those

Char's Prints

That Covered

Josh's "New" Couch

In His "New" Home

After A Restraining 

Order

Forced A Move

By Broker "Anderson"

Court's

Culprits

From Hollywood Reservoir

To Silverlake

Is That Char's 

Design

Emulating British

Mandalas

Mesmerizing 

Hypnotizing 

Into

Bribes

A "JOB"

Money

Bucks

Prostitution

For A Yogini Maiden

Who Said, "No Thankyou"

Snottily

Snobbily

To Russel Brand's 

Invitation

Gaslighting

A Blush

Justifying

A Decline

Of Loyalty

Why

She Wouldn't Touch Him

Nor Take A Photo

Together

Almost Allergic

To Memorialising

Russel

From What 

Tabloids Had Done

To Rape Him

A Poppet

Drugged

She Wouldn't Touch

Him- A Yogi

Smelling Of "Nag

Champ" Incense...

[asknightmareanderror]

I haven't had any quality sleep so I drank a pink monster energy drink.

And yeah I'm good.

How are you doing, both of you

Quality sleep is so hard to come by these days... qwq

N - "Thun has been trying to limit themselves to one can of Red Bull a day...and has not been very successful."

I did it for a week...and then fell back into my old ways, because I can't stay awake if I don't drink them. I will sleep for at least fourteen hours at a time if I don't ;3; (They’re sugar free though, so they don’t affect my blood sugar XD)

E - "Apart from that, we're alright...surviving, heh."

It's been good, I've been getting the three new ex-battery/barn hens used to me the last couple days. (They've retired and are free-ranging now :3)

A lot of info under the cut (I couldn't help myself, my sincerest apologies);

Friend (one of the older chickens we have) seems to have something wrong with her depth perception, and can't really tell how far away food is, so I've been feeding her out of a bowl, instead of the feeder :) She's definitely gotten a lot more friendly after that, and relies on me a lot more XD

All the chickens have names;

Friend (Top of the pecking order, best girl, very cute, follows me everywhere around the garden, tackling the eyesight issue like a champ <3)

Bully (Second in command (She has spurs like a rooster) and bullies everyone, apart from Friend, who puts her in her place).

Sunshine (One of the lowest, got her from a family who couldn't keep her anymore because their dog kept eating her remains and getting sick). Those are the three older ones we have. We got new ones a few weeks ago.

Dusting (Highest in the pecking order out of the three new ones, named Dusting because she is white, (unlike the others, who are a mix of red and gold(?)), it's another name for when it's snowing and she loves dust baths. Very shy, hasn't gotten too close as of yet).

Iris (the inbetween, first to approach me and eat out of my hands, loves to try and rip my fingers off).

Icarus (a.k.a The Dark One, lowest, probably the most confident though, also tries to take my fingers off).

Slowly but surely, they're growing their feathers back, and I can't wait to see them with them all.

As for Friend, I'll be keeping an eye on her and feeding her for a while longer. She's still very willing to eat and drink, which is a good sign, especially when it comes to chickens :) Somehow, she's still kept her role as the leader, even though, typically, they can sense when something's wrong with each other.

They mainly keep to their own groups, the younger ones stick together, and the older ones do the same. Sunshine tends to mingle with Dusting, Iris and Icarus a fair bit, because she's also one of the lowest.

All in all, very good chickens, very satisfying to sit outside with them for hours and have them slowly feel more comfortable to be around me. We're currently getting three/four eggs a day, Friend and Bully don't lay anymore, but they seem to be enjoying life :)

They probably won't live as long as they're supposed to, because of the first year being so stressful at the battery farms, but I love them a lot <333 qwq

(Cuffer would be completely smitten with them and never leave the garden ;3;)

(Sorry for the ramble XD I just love talking about how far they've gotten, they honestly deserve the freedom uwu)

[olderthannetfic]

Your posts about Rhodey/Tony and slash and black Only Sane Men best friends made me think of American Gods, the series with Ricky Whittle as Shadow. Haven't actually watched season 3 yet, and I also haven't interacted with the fandom in a good while, but I remember that back when season one had just dropped, there were lots of Shadow/Mad Sweeney shippers.

I think many people find Only Sane Man types more compelling (and so, more shippable) as the fish-out-of-water protagonists falling deeper and deeper into a rabbit hole of weirdness. Shadow started out working for Mr. Wednesday, following his orders no matter how strange they initially appeared and being the straight man character for his eccentricities to bounce off of, but he never felt like anyone's long-suffering babysitter or nagging mother hen. He had his own troubles, his own sad past as a woobie who got out of jail only to find out the woman he loved had cheated on him with his friend and then died, and scary supernatural shit kept happening to him despite him just wanting a quiet life and a job. And Mad Sweeney was just the aggressive prick who picked a fight with him for no reason, got tangled with him and his zombie ex due to a freaky chain of events that Shadow had absolutely no way to know he was starting, and resented him enough for that to give shippers an unintentionally very gay line like "damn is dark eyes!" that made it into a bunch of crackvids as That One Gay Moment and on many Tumblr blogs as an OTP tag. So right from the beginning, it was clear they were probably never gonna have a "black guy cleaning up after the white guy's messes" thing going on.

And sure, there were also many people shipping Mad Sweeney with Laura, because they had more scenes together and more of an established dynamic... and it was a dynamic where they were both always snarking at each other even when being stuck together, at that. But they often had to deal with a "how dare you ship Laura with anyone, she's a bitch and evil and we as the audience are meant to hate her!!" crowd that sounded suspiciously like many other "don't you dare put a woman between my slash ship" crowds.

Also, a bit off topic from my point but while I never really felt the urge to ship Rhodey/Tony, I also never really understood why Steve/Tony was so popular in MCU fandom before Civil War. My impression when trying to figure it out after watching The Avengers was that comic fans were just really excited to have a liveaction adaptation of a ship that had had years of development (and a Steve/Fem!Tony wedding in a parallel universe, I think?) through the years in comic form... and their enthusiasm ended up dominating the fandom for a while, leaving not a lot of space for other ships. I think the only one somewhat able to rival Steve/Tony was Tony/Loki, but the main Loki ship at that point was Thorki, so Tony/Loki was considered a bit of a crackpair anyway...

I have to say I never checked on Rhodey/Tony before that, though. I just always assumed it had kind of dropped from the face of fandom partly due to the recasting and partly due to people jumping ship to Steve/Tony.

--

Steve/Tony was pretty popular because of existing comics fans (and fic), yeah. I didn't remember it being quite so overwhelming.

Right now, the sidebar for MCU on AO3 looks like this:

James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers (58243)

Steve Rogers/Tony Stark (35675)

Peter Parker & Tony Stark (26000)

Pepper Potts/Tony Stark (21178)

Loki/Thor (Marvel) (14221)

James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader (14103)

James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers (11546)

Loki/Tony Stark (11502)

Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov (11474)

Clint Barton/Phil Coulson (10812)

If I filter by time for 2012 and before, it looks like this:

Steve Rogers/Tony Stark (2874)

Clint Barton/Phil Coulson (1984)

Loki/Thor (Marvel) (1451)

Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov (1372)

Pepper Potts/Tony Stark (1108)

Loki/Tony Stark (843)

Bruce Banner/Tony Stark (833)

Jane Foster/Thor (548)

James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers (418)

Loki & Thor (260)

Stony had more of a lead than I realized at the time, but this was also the height of inexplicable Clint/Coulson's reign. I think some of the Pepperony never made it off of LJ and other sites too.

--

I haven't seen American Gods, but having a leading role usually helps with those writing problems. A canon can still decide to sideline a major character in favor of other characters (Star Wars, I'm looking at you), but a show lead is in a lot less danger of feeling like a babysitter. Even if he ends up cleaning up someone's messes or something, he's more of an audience surrogate annoyed about this job or worried about his friend or having some emotion the audience is supposed to pay attention to and give a fuck about. The classic sidelined supportive best friend ensemble character feels like a prop because the audience is never invited to know or care how he feels about what he's doing. He's not an audience surrogate. He's not someone whose interiority matters.

That's the real key: interiority. Plenty of media represents minority characters as sexy or cool or some other positive attribute but doesn't invite us inside their head and thus subtly tells us that they're set dressing, not a person. A lead who drives the plot is generally written better.

[ficrecsbybu]

WinterIron fic rec 2021: Part I

Note: this fic rec consists only of Bucky Barnes/Tony Stark fics. the only Stucky & Stony you might see is as past relationships but that’s it. it’s also complete works ONLY. also - no underage stuff 🔪.  if you have any requests for Winteriron fic recs (for e.g non-superpower au, only one shots, series, hardcore smut, post-tws, college au, not team cap friendly fics, bodyguard au etc.) you can send me requests ^^. anyway... enjoy 😉 

✨ The Guiding of Death by RayShippouUchiha

“That whole Merchant of Death thing,” someone off to the side faux whispers, “makes a lot more sense now.”

It echoes across the bridge like a gunshot. 

Rated M, Hades & Persephone AU, Canon Divergence, always female Tony Stark, not Team Cap friendly. word count: 41391

(note: listen... I know het pairings and/or gender bend is not popular and I never really read those in general BUT this is straight up one of the best fics I have ever read so I NEEDED to share this with y’all...✌️)

✨ Forms of Love by bear_bell

Tony's the bad guy, after all. He's used to it. He's fine with it. He's good at it.

Only now, there's something far worse loitering around the tower - The Winter Soldier. No one notices the guy at first, but when they do, Tony figures that he should have the soldier's back.

Birds of a feather should flock together, and the bad guys should start a book club.

Rated E, Post-CW, Bucky Barnes & Winter Soldier are Different Personalities, Team Iron Man. word count: 33591

✨ Looking at You by NotEvenCloseToStraight

Bucky looks for so long that now all he wants to do is touch and hold and fix everything. But Tony can barely be in the same room as Bucky, cant even look him in the eye. So Bucky doesn't know what to do about Tony, but he is determined to do something. Because all he wants is to look at Tony, and see Tony looking back with a smile.

Rated E, Post-CW, PTSD, team heals, mental healing, forgiveness, angst with a happy ending. word count: 28,168

✨ I'll Be Your Bodyguard (If You'll Be My Security Blanket) by NarutoRox

When one of Loki's pranks gone wrong leaves the team with a young Winter Soldier in their care, they know they're going to have their hands full. Especially since this newer, tinier version of Bucky seems to have a bodyguard complex - and a particular attachment to Tony.

Rated T, kid fic, age regression/de-aging, de-aged Bucky, tiny bodyguard Bucky. word count: 4,993. 

(note: finally something CUTE. Im so sorry for being such a slut for angst and heavy stuff 😅)

✨ Fate Strings Not Required by Akira_of_the_Twilight

Tony took the hint.

Tony wrapped his hand around the new guy’s elbow. He kept his touch light and breakable in case he’d misread the cue.

“Just some guy claiming to be my soul mate, babe.”

The new guy’s eyebrows rose to his hairline in surprise. He chuckled and gave the first guy a smirk. “Strange. Last time I checked we were soul mates.”

Rated T, AU - no superpowers, AU - soulmates, Bodyguard Bucky Barnes, age difference. word count: 7,032.

✨ Shameless  by Finely Honed (jaqen_hgar)

Tony isn’t actually sure which of them starts it—he’d like to take credit, but if he’s learned anything it’s that Barnes is by no means a wilting flower. Besides, the start doesn’t matter as much as figuring out who’s going to actually finish it.

rated M, flirting, dirty talk, sexual tension. word count: 2,560

✨ Winter Wooer by salytierra

Winter may not be the most pleasant guy to live or share your body with, but he isn't nearly as destructive as everybody expected him to be either. He likes to brood in the corners, watch British TV, and freak people out. And Tony. He really, really likes Tony Stark. There's just one problem – Bucky's pretty sure he doesn't feel the same way about the guy.

Rated M, Bucky Barnes & Winter Soldier are Different Personalities, team as family. word count: 8,726

✨ Even Darkness Must Pass by Finely Honed (jaqen_hgar)

“Fake it till you make it,” Bucky whispered to himself, swallowing around his panic. Sam had drilled the idea into him, and it had become a mantra of sorts, something to hold onto when all he wanted to do was blend into the shadows and disappear.

“You’ll be fine.”

Steve placed a warm, strong hand on Bucky’s shoulder and squeezed, his super soldier ears having picked up Bucky uttering the now familiar saying.

Bucky nodded, tried to believe his own words, and followed Steve onto the common floor, a wall of sound hitting them as they entered.

rated M (but mild sexual content), parent Tony Stark, Bucky Barnes recovering, team as family, of love and hobbits 🧝🏻‍♂️. word count: 15,289

✨ Paths Are Made by Walking by Potrix 

The road to recovery is long, winding and a different one for every person walking it. Bucky chooses to help himself the only way he knows how; by doing what he does best.

Or, alternatively; the one in which Tony is a mess and accidentally kick-starts Bucky’s protective mother hen instincts.

rated T, post-TWS, fluff, humour, getting together, idiots in love. word count: 4,744.

✨ Rise In Perfect Light (Be Not Fearful Of The Night) by RayShippouUchiha

At first, the new element singing in his chest, Tony doesn’t understand what he’s done.

Doesn’t understand the full consequences of his actions.

But, to be fair, there’s no way he really could have.

Not even a futurist like him could have ever seen this coming.

rated G, post-CW, past Stony, angst with a happy ending. word count: 3,589.

(note: this fic is SO BEAUTIFUL. lemme just asjkdjnsjkdm)

✨ and amidst the ruins, there was you by TheKitteh

With everything resolved - post the Berlin conflict, Siberia and the rogue Avengers' return - Tony relishes in the clarity of what the team is now. He can finally see the well-defined lines, he can rely on solid rules and the chain of command. He's settled into his life like never before.

That is, until one day, an unhinged sorcerer with no grasp on his magic shatters that new-found balance.

As a result, half of Tony's soul is now gone, but he's willing to do anything to get it back.

rated T, post-CW, canon divergence, au - Dystopia, Dimension Travel, magical accidents, slow burn, getting together. word count: 36,976

✨ and so we unfold by TheKitteh

Senbazuru. Thousand Cranes.

An ancient Japanese legend that promises anyone who folds a thousand origami cranes will be granted a wish by the gods. Some stories believe you are granted happiness and eternal good luck, instead of just one wish, such as long life or recovery from illness or injury.

Bucky’s not big on believing in any legends, not after all that has happened. He just wants to create something for a change, not destroy.

He needs to prove himself that he can be trusted to handle something delicate. He doesn’t need a promise of a wish come true. He just,- needs to do this for himself.

He doesn’t need noticing how sad, tired Stark looks. Doesn’t need to want to do something for the man, when he can barely do anything for himself.

rated T, CACW canon divergence, getting together, reconciliation, POV alternating, Bucky Barnes recovering. word count: 14,449

✨ Spilt on the Ground like Water by tisfan

Tony has been black-bagged and illegally held at the Raft. Steve has no intentions of going to rescue him.

But the Winter Soldier isn't going to leave him behind.

rated E, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, implied/referenced torture, frottage, dub-con, mention of part non-con (HYDRA trash party), not Steve friendly, suicidal thoughts, touch-starved. word count: 10,853

✨ Norns, Save Us (From Ourselves) by phlintandsteel

It’s been ten years since half the universe was dusted.

rated E, post-IW au, A/B/O verse, Omega Tony, Alpha Bucky, Soulmates, Peter & Harley playing matchmaker, still recovering Bucky Barnes, not Steve Rogers Friendly, angst with a happy ending. word count: 37,324.

✨ Change You Like A Remix by ficlicious 

No one ever said Avenging would be easy, but Bucky could have really used a memo about the weeks where the hits just didn’t stop coming. He’d probably still have signed his soul away to the gods of spandex and paperwork, but a heads up woulda been nice before he nodded and smiled and took up residence in the house sanity fled when the Avengers moved in.

---- Soulmates, misunderstandings, snark, genderswap and sleep-deprived Avengers abound. Tony's a woman. Must be Friday.

rated E, AU - soulmates, established relationship, temporary gender swap, jealous Bucky Barnes, misunderstanding, miscommunication. word count: 10,494.

✨ Getting to Know You by orbingarrow

It had been an adventure, navigating the sweetly apologetic Bucky Barnes, who haunted the tower most days, and the the Winter Soldier, who occasionally inhabited Barnes’s body. The Winter Soldier was not apologetic; he was scary. And he was currently chilling out, uninvited, in Tony's lab.

“Leave,” Tony said, because Tony was either a dead man or not, and there wasn’t much he could do about it before coffee.

“Or you could give me permission to be here,” the Winter Soldier suggested.

“I don’t let strangers poke around my stuff,” Tony grumbled, as he walked past the Soldier to take a seat at his workbench.

“Easily solved,” the Soldier deflected. “Get to know me.”

-This is what happens when Tony does.

rated G, Bucky Barnes & Winter Soldier are different personalities, fluff, Clint Barton is a good bro. word count: 9,470

✨ Safe House by ali_aliska

For years, Tony had successfully kept his secret. Neither the world nor his team knew he was Iron Man and as far as he was concerned, everyone was better off that way. On his best days, Tony Stark was not someone people liked and trusted, so the last thing Tony wanted was to tarnish Iron Man’s good reputation by revealing the truth.

But then SHIELD falls, the Avengers face disarray, and a stray Hydra assassin forces Tony to go into hiding—and where better than the safe house he had just crafted for the Avengers and their own ex-assassin ready to come in from the cold?

Tony plans to hide away from everyone in his makeshift workshop until the coast is clear and he’s safe to go home. No one would care to spend any time with the reclusive, arrogant billionaire anyways, right? Iron Man is the one everyone wants around.

Bucky Barnes, on his own journey to reclaim his life and identity, seems to disagree with that sentiment.

rated T, post TWS, canon divergence, au - Secret Identity, mutual pining, team as family, slow burn, misunderstandings. word count: 89,533

✨ Versace on the floor by withered

The modern man’s armor is his clothing, and Bucky wants Tony out of his.

rated T,  post CW, Bucky Barnes & Winter Soldier are Separate Personalities, Barnes & Soldier & their hard-on for Tony, not team cap friendly. word count: 2,127 

[crcwned]

under the cut, you’ll find some ships and plots i want to write. this is a non-exhaustive list and there are way more that i’ll probably remember as soon as i post this, but if you’re interested in any of these, leave a ♡ and i’ll come to you about plotting !

ships ; ** bold denotes the fc i would prefer to use ; no bold = no preference !

an/a de armas x b/en barnes

an/a de armas x marg/ot robbie

an/a de armas x mich/iel huisman

an/a de armas x oliv/er jackson-cohen

an/ne hathaway x ch/ris hemsworth

an/ne hathaway x ch/ris pine

an/ne hathaway x jes/sica chastain

bai/lee madison x cha/ndler kinney

bla/ke lively x hen/ry golding

bla/ke lively x cha/ce crawford

eliza/beth olsen x ch/ris evans

eliza/beth olsen x ch/ris wood

eliza/beth olsen x mich/iel huisman

eliza/beth olsen x seba/stian stan

eliza/beth olsen x to/m hiddleston

flo/rence pugh x to/m holland

jes/sica chastain x os/car issac

jo/die comer x jo/e keery

kris/tine froseth x al/ex fitzalan

kris/tine froseth x tho/mas doherty

kris/tine froseth x to/m holland

lau/ra harrier x mich/ael b. jordan

li/ly james x mich/iel huisman

marg/ot robbie x ch/ris evans

marg/ot robbie x ch/ris hemsworth

marg/ot robbie x mich/ael b. jordan

marg/ot robbie x sebas/tian stan

mil/a kunis x sebas/tian stan

prisc/illa quintana x tho/mas doherty

vict/oria pedretti x dy/lan arnold

vict/oria pedretti x dy/lan o’brien

vict/oria pedretti x pe/nn badgely

zend/aya x to/m holland

zo/ey deutch x dy/lan o’brien

plots

couple that’s fallen out of love but can’t actually split up because of some kind of external factor ( not enough $$$ to move out, pressure from family, kids, etc. )

couple that actually has broken up but still runs in the same circles and will probably just end up getting back together

pairing where they’re both in committed relationships but would rather be with each other ( + maybe they have some kind of history / unresolved feelings )

anything domestic ( moving in together, getting engaged / married, having kids, etc. )

anything involving fame / high-status / royalty 

mumus where everyone’s connected somehow ( especially if no one minds their own business !!! )

[funfickgirl22]

Weekend away.

Henry Cavill x Single mother / Reader.

Words: 602

previous chapter: The truth is out.

Warning: description of arousal and suggestive dialogue.

Henry came back from Andy’s house with a small bruise above his eyebrow. You didn’t know about his mid – night trip to your ex-lawyer, therefore you were surprised to see his bruise in the morning. When you asked him, what happened. Henry explained that he banged his head in the morning on his way to the toilet. You believed him and kissed it better.  

A few weeks had passed in a peace and happiness. There was no drama, no jealousy. It was difficult to believe. Henry was taking very good care of you and your son Nathan. Even when he was away, he always remembered to show you how loved you are. He sent flowers, chocolates, at some point he hired a driver just for you, but you politely declined it.  

In the late summer, Henry’s friends from Jersey invited you to their wedding. Henry was excited to go as he was planning a weekend trip anyway. He was so proud of you and wanted to introduce you to everybody. Your dad offered you to stay with your son, so you and Henry could spend more alone time together. Once you landed at the Jersey airport, Henry could not take his hands away from you. Kisses on the cheeks, holding hands, constant boner. He really enjoyed your company.  

The wedding day has come. You and Henry sat in the church, holding hands. You looked at the bride saying marriage vows, thinking it something that you would like to do again. Henry was looking at you too. He was torn and wasn’t sure: should he start conversation about possible marriage or should he propose tonight. His vulnerable site of him pushed him to start conversation about the future.  

“Penny for your thoughts?”  

You looked at your boyfriend and blushed like you have been caught.  

“I was admiring the bride’s dress. It’s not something that I would wear, with my wide hips, but I think it suits her.”  

“When our time will come, you can wear anything: a dress, pyjamas, trench coat. It doesn’t matter. I know I won’t be able to take my eyes off you: off your beautiful face and from your awesome hips.”  

Henry said that slowly, making sure you will understand his future plans.

“When our time will come.” You whispered that out loud, mostly to yourself, trying to absorb what your boyfriend said.  

“Hopefully soon” Henry sent you a wink.  

The rest of the evening was full of fun, laughter and the alcohol. Also, dancing. Henry loves dancing. Cavill was slightly tipsy and clingy. Same like you. You never showed him this site of you as you were a respectful mother. However, when you had a child free weekend you tried to enjoy it as much as you could.  

After midnight, someone has ordered a song for you. Obviously, it was Henry. You were slowly dancing in your man's arms, exchanging kisses. There was something what you wanted to ask him.  

“Hen, this thing you mentioned at the church. "Our day" Did you really mean it?”

“I did really mean it Y/N. I can see us at the altar on day. Hopefully, you can see us there too?” Henry asked hesitantly.  

"Is that a proposal?  

"No, not yet, I don't have the ring on me."

"Then, I will tell you when you will officially ask. You told Henry with a huge smile.  

Suddenly, Henry lifted you and walked outside.  

“Bear put me down! Where are we going? You asked laughing.  

“We are going to the barn. I need you now Y/N. You are killing me in this dress woman!”

tags: @severewobblerlightdragon

[rhysevantaylor]

ben barnes & he/him/ cis man ‷ watch out , rhys taylor has crash-landed into roswell !! they look 39 years old and celebrate their birthday on february 2nd . they are from llanbedrog, wales, reside in lunar crescent and are currently working as a pediatrician at roswell community medical. one thing you should know about them is he once had his heart set on professional rugby but an injury in his high school years forced him to rethink his whole career‷ 

Name: Rhys Evan Taylor Nicknames: None Age: Thirty-nine Date of Birth: 2nd February 1983 Birthplace: Llanbedrog, Wales, UK Occupation: Pediatrician at Roswell Community Medical Romantic/Sexual Orientation: Biromantic/bisexual Faceclaim: Ben Barnes

ABOUT.

tw: death, injury

Was raised in the little village of Llanbedrog in North Wales to two loving parents, Helena and David. He was adopted by David shortly after his mother married him in 1985, as sadly Rhys’s biological father passed away when he was only three months old.

He spent most of his childhood years causing chaos and getting muddy on the family farm or the beach.

When he hit high school he became kind of obsessed with rugby and decided early on he wanted to play for Wales, to take them to the World Cup in his twenties. Unfortunately an accident in his final year of high school that left him with several broken bones and unconscious meant that he had to rethink his whole plan.

It didn’t take long for a thirst to escape to take over and he started applying for colleges overseas. Finally he was accepted to New York Medical College and he made the move without a second thought. That’s where his life really began.

He drank his way through his first year. Hangovers became part of the daily routine, as did waking up next to people he barely recognised.

By 3/4 of the way through his second year he finally began to focus and chose to specialise in pediatrics.

Relationships really didn’t happen for him, but he was extremely good at lapping up any attention he got. Man-whore really is a very kind way of putting it.

At twenty-five he found himself with a job at Morgan Stanley Children’s Hospital in Manhattan. He loved it, seemed to thrive there and for over five years, too. But then he grew restless and after a years debate, decided that perhaps a move somewhere else in the country was on the cards, so settled in New Mexico.

Only days after moving, he received a phone call out of nowhere telling him that he was a dad. She was already six, the product of a long standing friends with benefits arrangement with a woman in his forth year. It didn’t take much for him to fall in love with Elena once he hopped a flight back to the East coast, though, spending several days with her.

As soon as he was back in Roswell, he set about doing his home up. Her existence really gave him something to focus on.

Now that Elena’s 16 she visits regularly, spending all of her vacation time with him.

HEADCANONS.

Rhys is a major “lad”. He’ll spend night after night at the bar drinking beer, playing pool, watching sports on the big screen tv. The Wild Pony is his regular hangout. 

Upon moving to Roswell and having more space he started to create a bit of a backyard farm. His rooster, Buddy, frequently wakes up the neighbours and he has a kind of love/hate relationship with them. He also has three hens, a pig and a goat.

Absolutely loves to garden. When he’s not in the backyard tending to the animals, you can usually find him elbow deep in dirt in his front yard instead.

He’s still a major man-whore and it probably won’t change any time soon.

Despite his casualness with romantic relationships, etc. he’s a very fierce friend and cares deeply for everyone he’s close to. He’d do absolutely anything for them.

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

- siblings; three younger brothers. - mother of elena/ex-fwb from nyc. ( nora. ) - exes he’s run out on in roswell & nyc. - friends from nyc. - old nyc housemate. - past hook-ups, fwb, ons. - current fwb. - close friends. - guys he plays rugby with. - drinking buddies. - work connections. - running buddies. anything else you want to throw my way!!! 😊

[xbenscott]

Name: Rhys Evan Watkins Nicknames: None Age: Thirty-eight Date of Birth: 2nd February 1984 Birthplace: Llanbedrog, Wales, UK Length of time in Seattle: 10 years Occupation: Paediatrician Romantic/Sexual Orientation: Biromantic/bisexual Positive traits: intelligent, passionate, adaptable Negative traits: workaholic, cocky, impulsive Faceclaim: Ben Barnes

BIO | VISAGE | MUSINGS

ABOUT.

tw: injury

Was born and raised in the little village of Llanbedrog in North Wales to two loving parents, Helena and David. Rhys has three brothers, one older and two younger.

He spent most of his childhood years causing chaos and getting muddy on the family farm or the beach. 

When he hit high school he became kind of obsessed with rugby and decided early on he wanted to play for Wales, to take them to the World Cup in his twenties. Unfortunately an accident in his final year of high school that left him with several broken bones and unconscious meant that he had to rethink his whole plan.

It didn’t take long for a thirst to escape to take over and he started applying for colleges overseas. Finally he was accepted to New York Medical College and he made the move without a second thought. That’s where his life really began.

He drank his way through his first year. Hangovers became part of the daily routine, as did waking up next to people he barely recognised.

By 3/4 of the way through his second year he finally began to focus and chose to specialise in paediatrics. 

Relationships really didn’t happen for him, but he was extremely good at lapping up any attention he got. Man-whore really is a very kind way of putting it.

At twenty-five he found himself with a job at Morgan Stanley Children’s Hospital in Manhattan. He loved it, seemed to thrive there and for over three years, too. But then he grew restless and after a years debate, decided that perhaps a move somewhere else in the country was on the cards.

Only days after moving, he received a phone call out of nowhere telling him that he was a dad. She was already five, the product of a long standing friends with benefits arrangement with a woman in his forth year. It didn’t take much for him to fall in love with Elena once he hopped a flight back to the East coast, spending several days with her.

As soon as he was back in Seattle, he set about doing his home up. Her existence really gave him something to focus on.

Now that Elena’s 15 she visits regularly.

HEADCANONS.

Rhys is a major “lad”. He’ll spend night after night at the bar drinking beer, playing pool, watching sports on the big screen tv. 

Upon moving to Seattle and having more space he started to create a bit of a backyard farm. His cockerel, Buddy, frequently wakes up the neighbours and he has a kind of love/hate relationship with them. He also has three hens, a pig and a goat. Oh, then there’s the cat, Storm, who moved over from NYC with him.

Absolutely loves to garden. When he’s not in the backyard tending to the animals, you can usually find him elbow deep in dirt in his front yard instead.

He’s still a major man-whore and it probably won’t change any time soon.

Despite his casualness with romantic relationships, etc. he’s a very fierce friend and cares deeply for everyone he’s close to. He’d do absolutely anything for them.

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

- siblings; one slightly younger brother & two younger brothers. - mother of elena/ex-fwb from nyc. - friends from nyc. - old nyc housemate. - past hook-ups, fwb, ons. - current fwb. - close friends. - guys he plays rugby with. - drinking buddies. - work connections. - running buddies. anything else you want to throw my way!!! 😊

[lets-steal-an-archive]

Unlike their counterparts on The Definite-Indefinite Article-Team, the Robin Hoods on John Rogers and Chris Downey's Leverage aren't joyful militarists whose idea of helping people invariably involves vans and walls. Because, unlike Leverage, that other show

"was a guy's show. It was male-driven. It was written by guys. It was directed by guys. It was acted by guys. It's about what guys do. We talked the way guys talked. We were the boss. We were the God. We smoked when we wanted. We shot guns when we wanted. It was the last truly masculine show."

In the 1980s, heroism only came from the barrel of guns aimed by incompetent men at similarly scattershot adversaries—because for all the gunplay, no one was ever shot. When these world-historically poor shots grew tired of wasting ammunition, they would chase each other in vans until one of them found a wall in need of Kool-Aid, then someone would punch someone, everyone would laugh, and the day would somehow have been saved.

The Definite-Indefinite Article-Team was a male fantasy about a world in which simpleminded evil could be thwarted by brute force, the implication being that had the government allowed these clowns—who, the audience was to believe, were once ex-Special Forces—free rein in Vietnam, America would have won the war. How you win a war with soldiers who can barely hit the broad side of a barn with a van is beside the point: the 1980s needed manly men to manly deeds, and when they did, nothing made much sense, but everything worked out.

[Insert here a clunky summary of the arching plot. Describe how it's a show in which a former insurance investigator hires the talented specialists he formerly investigated to help those that corporations have rendered helpless. Maybe mention that the official website describes it as a show that features "elaborate scams designed to exact revenge against those who use power and wealth to victimize people." Then move on because exposition is necessary, but good God damn, is it ever boring.]

With Leverage, the issue isn't whether nothing makes sense and everything works out, but whether the audience can make sense of how everything worked out. According to John Rogers:

"Testing indicates—and I'm not kidding—that about 30% of our audience never understands the con at all."

Despite the fact that almost one-third of viewers have no clue what's happening or why, Americans have voted with their eyes and elected Leverage the most popular show on basic cable. Which means that Americans love something they don't understand, fully aware that they're not understanding it. Unlike Twin Peaks, where the ignorance was as collective as its ratings were impressive, Leverage is a caper show, so the visceral narrative enjoyment should come from watching the plot hatch.

Let me literalize that:

Ideally, the audience should watch a hen have sex with a mutant rooster, then see the egg appear and, knowing what's in the egg, watch with gleeful anticipation as the fox steals into the hen house and is confronted not with a delicious yellow chick, but a mutant-blue chick with the proportionate strength of an ant:

Only then should they treasure their anti-corporate catharsis.

Instead, almost one-third of Leverage's audience sees chickens having sex, is momentarily confused, but then marvels at the sudden appearance of an egg and squeals with glee when a just-born peep beats down the full-grown fox. For a caper show to be popular without being, for much of its audience, a caper show, means that its appeal is rooted in soils unwatered by Ocean's 11 and ff.

So it is.

Rogers again:

"Bernie Madoff stole FIFTY BILLION DOLLARS. In a PONZI SCHEME. Which is the criminal equivalent of convincing people you are going to fly to the moon in a refrigerator box. The single, unpleasant truth is that most people, particularly criminals, are NOT complex. They are shallow, greedy sons of bitches to whom we attribute genius planning or complex motivations in order to preserve a false sense of order in our universe."

We desperately want to attribute otherwise. We want to believe that simpleminded evils are not, in fact, simpleminded, but that we've been duped by highly competent con artists whose methods are so arcane they can only be countered by other, more highly competent con artists. We enjoy the show despite the con because we want to believe such cons can't be understood and really just want some vicarious vengeance.

Reaction to the show, then, is primal and political: we want to see for-profit military opportunists suffer for their trespasses against our soldiers, because war is more complicated now than it was thirty years ago; we want to see contractors who prey on over-extended homeowners in the wake of natural disasters be punished, because disaster relief is now politicized; by which I mean, we want to see ordinary criminals so offended by the non-crimes immoral profiteers lawfully commit that a third of us will devote thirteen hours to a show we don't understand just to watch a mutant chicken gore a cowering pro-corporate fox.

Originally posted August 4, 2009 by Scott Eric Kaufman

[grocerystoredean]

honestly i think ive brought the mood down by talking about dead birds. but luckily i have a fun story about live birds! actually this is one that i find kinda strange myself.

im going to assume you know whatabouts the typical county fair looks like. actually you did say you dont have squirrels so mbby ur not american... it basically looks like theres this huge field and a huge barn and a rather decent sized inside bit and a few little wooden structures nearby to make shade. and pretty much all year its super empty, i think part of it becomes a dog park the rest of the time? i dunno. anyway, once a year a carnival will roll in and the ffa and 4-h roll in and the entire place is filled with trailers and tents and rides and, especially with animals. and it goes on for like a week, opens rlly early and closes rlly late. i know we had a rather large fair where i live. its a Big Deal.

now, if youre a regular person youll go to the fair maybe once or twice, look at some of the historical stuff or whatever thats in the building, maybe walk through the barn, go on a few rides visit a few vendors, and go home. if you’re participating in the fair its a whole nother story. ill spare you the details but it involves getting up early grooming a pissy animal that youve been raising all year specifically for this (or training for this, it depends on what you do. i wont be talking about my own experience because i’m pretty sure you’d be able to find out exactly where i live from it and im not too keen on that) getting dressed up (white buttondown shirt, wipe the mud off your boots, and new jeans) and driving down to the fairgrounds to set up in either a tent or a barn.

so i find the tent im supposed to be in and we start setting up. since we were a small group they stuck us in a tent with another small group, a handful of chickens, some fancy, some just regular hens, but all pretty. so anyway we get judged, my animal will only perform AFTER the judging when its not her turn so it didnt count (but she fucking nailed it). and apparently she wasnt a good example of her breed or whatever but idc how much experience this guy has she was damn cute and had straight legs and everything. (im not mad about not winning im mad that he went out of his way to be a dick). (also my sister won and she was also a dick.)

anyway, we start slowing down, its hot as the dickens, so im just trying to keep myself and my animal cool until we can leave. so i look over at the other side of the tent and youll never fucking believe this: these dudes are dressing up their chickens. IT WAS A CHICKEN COSTUME CONTEST. have you ever heard of such a thing???? so of course i stick around for the judging. and admiring these hand sown chicken garments. im talking dresses and little hats and even props, it was a damn beauty pageant. i kept expecting mama june to come through the door with her toddler. ok and this wasnt /just/ a chicken costume contest, oh no, i wasnt clear on if they have a theme every year or if this is just how they do it, but it was a historical chicken costume contest.

there were only a few chickens there. apparently runway training a hen isnt a popular hobby, cant imagine why, but oh boy were they fabulous. its been maybe... i wanna say six years so excuse me if my memory is fuzzy.

most of the chickens were dressed fairly sparsely, draping things, hats, etc. dont get me wrong these were still incredible (ex; chicken abraham lincon. chicken cowboy that i should probably reckognize. chicken union solider.) but compared to this one guy they were party city cuz this guy had sewn an honest to god suffragette costume for his lovely red hen. he blew the competition out of the water even though his hen wasn’t fancy and i think the moral of this story is that it doesnt matter who you are or how good at things you are if youve got great legs and know how to sew youll make it in life. pretty sure mark twain said that. i just- words cannot describe seeing this chicken in her blue dress and her sunhat with the sash and the “voting rights now!” sign. it was magnificent! i havent been able to find the chicken costume contest since and now the only proof that it ever existed is on my moms shitty old camera. i think.

why did the chicken cross the road? for women’s voting rights.

my ask box is now a bird confessional do not send asks unless youre talking about birds thank you very much. 

[godofplumsandthunder]

Don’t Leave Me

Written for @the-ss-horniest-book-club​ drunk drabbles (barely squeezing into the deadline). Based off of this prompt from Anon.

Your first Stark gala as a new member of the Avengers was just around the corner. With the excitement in the air, you feel like your back in high school, waiting for a boy to ask you. The truth was that you were waiting for a boy to ask you. A certain super-soldier, ex-assassin, to be exact. Maybe you were naive to think that Bucky would ask you to go with him to this gala, cause after all you thought why would he be interested in you. Every time you try to interact with him, you just end up making a fool of yourself. Between tripping on the rug in the commons and facing planting into the floor, or choking on your coffee and proceeding to cough up half a lung, you for sure thought that Bucky just saw you as a clumsy no-good girl. 

The thing was though, that Bucky was also excited about the gala. You caught his attention ever since you joined the team. Bucky loved your smile and the way that you were always happy. The few times he’s spent more than a minute with you, he could feel your happiness and general love for the team radiating off of you. He loved feeling that, and he wanted to feel like that every day. So, Bucky thought he would ask you to come with him. But, as the date of the gala slowly creeps forward, Bucky panics. His fear and self-doubt creep in. Why would such a beautiful, perfect, and pure creature want anything to do with him, a murderous assassin, who’s still covered in the blood of others? Asking you would only set Bucky up for heartbreak, rejection and more self-hate. But despite Bucky’s cold feet, time still moved on, and you had another SHIELD agent ask you to this gala. So, that’s how you found yourself at the gala with Eddie, and that’s how Bucky found himself alone (like always), giving this Eddie the death glare.

At first, Eddie was treating you to a nice night. He was charming and okay good looking. He wasn’t no Bucky, but he wasn’t ugly to the eye. You chatted, danced, and laughed. You could genially say you were having a good time with him until the prosecco started to make its rounds. After a few glasses, the Eddie you were getting know started to change, and not in a good way. He started to get more handsy, wandering hands started to linger around the chest, or start to make their way up to your thighs. You needed to get away from Eddie fast. So, you make your way to the first person who you thought could help; Wanda. Eddie got caught in a conversation with a coworker over the new changes they made to SHIELDS’s pistols, and you saw this as your chance to escape. You search and search, but there is no sign of Wanda, or Vision for that matter, anywhere. You start to panic, as you were stuck on a date with a handsy, pervy man. You make your way into a hallway of the compound when you hear your name, causing the hairs on the back of your neck to stand.

“Y/N, where ya going? The night’s just getting started!” Eddie hollers at you as he comes stumbling down the hallway. You look for an exit, but Eddie has you cornered.

“Where you think you’re going? I know you’re ready for me, Y/N. I can smell it.” Eddie pressed his body hard against yours. You try to push back, but he quickly overpowers you.

“Please stop! This is all a big understanding. I came with you as a friend. That’s all.” Your words seem to fuel Eddie.

“Y/N, friends don’t come dressed up like that.” Eddie tuts, as he tries to unzip your dress. All you can do is scream for help.

“Help! Anyone! Please stop! Eddie, please stop.” You sob, thinking of what’s going to happen next when you hear a loud, familiar voice.

“Yo! Dickface, I think she told you to stop! You do understand what no means, right? Or do I have to teach you the hard way?” Bucky appears out of nowhere, but his presence gets Eddie’s filthy body off of yours.

“Look, buddy, I think you’re getting this all wrong. We’re just-” Bucky’s fist interrupts Eddie, the force knocking him to the ground.

“I see you again with Y/N and I will chop your dick off. You get my drift?” Eddie nods, scurrying away in fear. A pissed off winter soldier is a scary scene after all. But know that that scumbag is gone, Bucky goes into full mother-hen mode. He helps you to get up, you fix your dress and Bucky escorts you back to your room. Once there, Bucky stands nervously in the doorway.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry that happened. I wish I was able to get there sooner. I’m so sorry that I couldn’t. Let me get Wanda, and I’ll get out of your hair.”

Tears stroll down your face, the reality of what happened and what could have happened if Bucky didn’t get there in time are finally settling in. And, if you were honest, you felt safe with Bucky. And you didn’t want to lose that comfort and safety.

“Bucky, wait. Please don’t leave me. I feel safe when I’m around you and I really need to feel safe right now.” And by some God-sent miracle, Bucky dares to stay. He makes a vow that day, he’s not going to let anyone hurt you ever again. If they do, heaven have mercy on them. Because from that day forward, you had James Buchanan Barnes, watching your back.

[whatcouldgowrong-ohthat]

J.I.L.

Roomies for Too Damn Long

Summary: They can’t take her to the Avengers, so Steve has another idea.

Word Count: 1823 words

-.-.-.-.-

Washington D.C – April 5th, 2014

Jeneva didn’t realize how much she missed until she found herself in a car, driving somewhere in D.C. She had missed driving. She missed the feel of the sun on her skin and how obnoxious busybodies in the streets could actually be. Isolation for so long truly made her forget what was normal.

“Forgive moi, but ain’t the Avengers located up in New York?” It only made sense for her to stay there. There would be constant supervision for an ex-prisoner, access to their resources – it would make sense.

“We aren’t going to the Compound.”

Jeneva looks away from the window, catching Steve’s eyes in the rearview mirror. There was pain there. Worry about his decisions. She chuckled. “They don’t know.” Slumping in her seat, she crossed her arms and watched what little reactions she could get out of the man. “Y’have a weird dynamic wit’ your amis, chere.”

“Tony wouldn’t exactly encourage this sort of thing,” Sam told her, looking at her from the passenger seat.

“Why would he? He doesn’t have anyt’in’ t’gain from it.” She looked back at Steve. “So what? Hookin’ moi up wit’ an apartment?”

The two shared a look before Steve turned down a road. Up ahead, she could see an apartment complex. Most likely, where she would be staying. “Something like that.”

---

“And this is your room,” Sam told her, opening the door. Jeneva stepped inside. The room was a basic guest room. Nothing too extravagant which she preferred anyway. And there was even a desk with a laptop. Setting the file next to it, she looked back to the doorway.

There, Sam and Steve crowded looking almost like proud parents. Almost. It was mostly Sam.

“Uh…merci,” she said, chuckling at that proud grin on his face. “So this is y’all’s…brilliant arrangement?”

“It’s temporary. Once you find Bucky, you can do whatever you want,” Steve told her, pushing himself off the doorway. She watched him walk away before looking at Sam.

“Charmin’.”

“Cut him some slack. Bucky’s that one guy who means everything to him,” Sam explained, leaning against the doorway. “And our last time with the guy, he wasn’t in his right frame of mind.”

“Yeah, no shit.” She hesitated, glancing at the bed before looking at him. “Are y’comfortable wit’ this? I know the whole t’ing is Steve’s idea, but I’m not goin’ t’impose just t’fulfill our deal.”

Sam shrugged. “I don’t mind. Besides, having a roommate for a couple weeks could be fun.”

---

July 4th, 2014

Jeneva blamed Sam for her difficulty in finding Barnes. She had no doubt in her mind that he managed to jinx her. He just had to say two weeks. Well, two turned into three. Then a month. And so on because that’s how time works.

“Baise-moi,” she snapped, kicking the blankets and paperwork that surrounded her. The blankets fell to the floor as the papers flew into the air, quickly finding a home on the carpet. She rest her elbows on her crossed legs, massaging her temples. She just wanted to find him. The sooner that happened, the sooner she could go on with her life.

But it was hard to focus with so much static in the air. The lights flickered, shutting off and finally giving her a sense of peace.

“Jeneva!”

It was nice while it lasted.

She looked up as the door swung open. “Hiya, Sammy.”

“We talked about you shutting off the electricity, Jen.” The first time she’d done it, her glowing, cat-like eyes had scared the crap out of him, but he quickly got used to it. The problem was her eyes were the only thing about this situation that he got used to.

Jeneva grimaced. A couple seconds passed and the lights came back on, earning a sigh of relief. He was about to turn to go, knowing she preferred her space, but then he noticed her…well, everything. The mess on the floor, how she was hunched in a disaster of a bed, and the fact that her body language screamed, “Fuck the world.”

“Come on.”

She looked up as he gestured to the living room. “What?”

“I ordered pizza and I’m about to watch that John Wick movie.” Gesturing to her, he explained, “You look like you could use some unnecessary violence.”

“That’s how you’re celebratin’ July fourt’? Really?”

Sam shrugged. “I’m interesting like that.”

Jeneva sighed. “Look, Sam, y’don’t have t’be nice t’moi – “

“I know. But sometimes walking away from a thing actually helps you solve it faster. So get off your ass and watch a movie with me.”

Jeneva groaned but couldn’t bring herself to argue. Crawling out of the bed, she let him shove her out of the room like a mother hen. “There’s alcohol with the movie, right?”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

-.-.-.-

March 10th, 2015

“Why is it taking so long?”

Jeneva winced as she heard Steve’s voice from the living room. She didn’t blame him for being frustrated. It had been a long time since they saved her from the Raft and she had nothing to show for her work. She’d gone out a couple times – to New York in case Bucky wanted to relive his childhood. To the middle of nowhere USA in case he wanted off the grid. The thing was, she wouldn’t have been surprised if he kept moving, never staying in one place for long. It made sense at least.

“Steve, you’re having her find a guy nicknamed ‘the ghost’. Cut her some slack.”

There was silence. A small huff. “I know. I do – I understand that. I just…”

“I know. But you haven’t been here. That girl is pouring over every little bit of information she can get her hands on. When she isn’t asleep, she’s looking for him. Her time is invested in this and she wasn’t bullshitting you when she said she’d find him. Barnes is just really good at hiding.”

She looked up at the map on her wall. Little pins of various colors showed where she could possibly find him. Based off his history with HYDRA, she had very little reason to believe he was still in the United States. Her gaze shifted to Europe. It would make sense. He had spent most of his time there.

Maybe it was time to shift her tactics.

-.-.-.-.-

April 14th, 2016

“You have some of the worst ideas.”

Jeneva rolled her eyes as she took a sip of the coffee in hand. Sure, maybe taking a couple visits to Europe was a little extreme. Especially when they had nothing to go off as to where Bucky could be, but she was running out of options. She didn’t want to be sent back to the Raft and, while Sam promised Steve would never do that, she had been at the hands of people making promises.

And she’d been at the hands of those people when they were angry.

“I t’ink y’the only person that would call Italy a bad idea, chere,” she teased as she looked down the streets. Her energy had taken a dip, so he had recommended stopping for caffeine. She could already feel herself buzzing from it, but of course the enjoyment was short lived when she heard Sam complain again.

“You realize that the only reason we were able to do this is because you have a plane, right?”

“’Ey, y’the one that helped moi get it and my ot’er shit out o’ storage.”

“Believe me, I might be regretting that.”

She smirked. “Liar.”

Sam didn’t say anything, sticking close to her as they abandoned their empty cups and went back to work. “I don’t know how you came up with this and thought it was a good idea, Sparky.”

“Better than stayin’ cooped up in that apartment and gettin’ no good or bad results. Just a lot of empty answers.”

“But what made you think Italy?”

“One o’the assignments he was given,” she muttered absentmindedly, recalling the politician the Winter Soldier had been assigned to kill.

Silence fell for a while. Both of them knew that this was a lost cause. Three days of scouring small towns, places that would make sense for him to be hiding.

And still they found nothing.

“Jen,” Sam finally spoke again.

She huffed, jumping slightly when she felt his hand on her shoulder. “Yeah, I know.”

“We’re going to find him,” Sam assured her, having absolute faith in her abilities. Jeneva was too stubborn for him to think she’d fail. “But I think it’s safe to say that we can cross Italy off the list.”

Glancing at him, she ran a hand through her tangled mess of hair. He watched the slight tick of her jaw and how that gold in her eyes flickered. Her frustration was a little obvious. “Let’s just get out o’ here.”

Sam looped an arm around her shoulders, squeezing her gently. “You got it.”

“And Sam,” she asked, looking up at him. “’Appy birt’day.”

He snorted. “Don’t get all mushy on me now.”

-.-.-.-.-.-

June 22, 2016

Jeneva’s eyes were glued to her phone, brow furrowed. It didn’t make sense. She’d been studying this man’s file, hunting him down for two years. There was no way he bombed the Vienna International Centre. Right? She couldn’t have been that oblivious to him.

But then her screen lit up, showing Sam’s face covered in birthday cake.

She swiped to answer, holding the phone to her ear and looking around. Maybe the press was wrong. It wouldn’t exactly be the first time. “Sam?”

“Hey, you saw?”

Jeneva huffed. “Kinda hard t’miss.”

“Please, tell me you aren’t out looking for him.”

Jeneva shrugged. “Wasn’t gonna waste a trip t’Romania.” She smiled at a little girl who was admiring the wild curls in Jeneva’s hair, giving her a small wave before the kid ran off to catch up with her mom.

“Jen!”

“It’s not hurtin’ anyone,” she muttered.

“He bombed the UN meeting.”

“I don’t t’ink so.” She walked backwards, rolling her eyes as he kept going on and on about her risking her life. “Sammy, chill. ‘M a mutant. What could happen?”

No sooner had the words left her mouth than she had accidentally bumped into someone. As she spun around, she heard a soft ‘sorry’. She looked up, catching a glimpse of the man hiding underneath the baseball cap. Before she even had the opportunity to apologize, to say that it truly was her fault, he was already moving. And she was amazed.

She blinked as he crossed the street, looking both ways. There was no way it happened that easily.

“Hey, Sparky, you there?”

Jeneva swallowed, finally realizing that Sam was still talking to her. “Y’wouldn’t believe what just happened,” she murmured, watching as the man she had been searching for for two years purchased a newspaper. Something so simple.

“What?”

“I found him.”

[avengerscompound]

Not So Different - Chapter 2

Not So Different: A Captain America Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Steve Rogers x F!Reader

Word Count:  1096

Rating:  G

Square filled: @happystevebingo - Villain/Hero Romance or Friendship

Warnings:  Some mentions of animal injuries

Synopsis:  When Steve Rogers comes across you liberating hens from a battery farm his initial reaction is to arrest you.  He certainly wouldn’t assume that the woman who he initially pegs as a criminal might not be so different from him after all.

Chapter 2

Steve’s eyes were still red, puffy, and sore when the vet had shown up to the compound.  He’d called around and found one that was willing to come out.  He thought it would be easier that way given the number of hens that were in the crates.

“Yeah, this is what happens with battery farming.”  She said as she pulled out, what must have been the eleventh hen.  “They don’t have room to move.  They get shoved in two to a cage and cannibalize each other.  Legally I’d say you should return them.  But…”  She shrugged.  “Ethically, if you can’t keep them here it would be kinder to put them down.  If you were willing you could try giving them a nice rest of their life.  I can’t promise all of them will be okay.  Some might not ever walk.”

She put the hen she was treating down on the ground and it tipped over onto its side.  Steve frowned.

“That farm is full of chickens like this?”  He asked.

The vet picked up another chicken and began treating it.  “I’m afraid so, Captain Rogers.”

“And this is legal?”

She nodded.  “There are groups that lobby to ban it.  California and Michigan have banned them.  But here, it’s fine.”  She explained.  “I’d say you met with one of the more radical people against the practice.”

“I guess I did.”  Steve agreed.  “I can probably set something up for these birds here, but I don’t have anything for them now.  What do you suggest?”

The vet stroked her hand down the hen’s back.  “Tell you what.  I’ll take these ladies back to my place.  Treat them for any pests.  Give them some vitamins.  Feed them up and see if they can walk around okay.  If you set up something for them here, I’ll bring you the healthy girls back.”

“That would be fantastic.  Thank you so much for all this.”  Steve said.

“Of course.  Happy to help.”  She answered.

He helped her load the chickens up into his truck and wrote her a check for their care.  When he was done he went inside.  He’d had FRIDAY run your plate just after calling the vet.  She had the address ready for him.

He debated for a minute whether he should just leave it.  It was a crime though and he wanted to get some answers.  He grabbed his keys and a bottle of water just in case and went for a drive.

You didn’t live nearby.  It was an hour before he was pulling into the dirt drive that led up to your farmhouse.  It was modest.  More of a cabin in the woods than a proper farm.  The woods backed right up against it in fact.  There were a few cleared fields though.  Each one that was cleared had animals in them.  A few older ponies and horses with sway backs.  Some sheep that had been recently shorn.  One paddock that had a couple of cows and a whole lot of calves.  Near the cabin was a much larger and better cared for barn.

He pulled the car up and saw you watching him from your garden.  When he got out of the car, your eyes went wide and you ran.  He sighed.  He didn’t want to do the whole chase thing.

He watched you run for a moment and then took after you when he was sure he knew where you were heading.  You leaped your garden wall and beelined for your house.  Steve caught you, knocking you to the ground before you reached your porch.

“I just wanted to talk,”  Steve said.

“Oh god, you’re Captain America,” you babbled, seemingly to yourself.  “I maced Captain America.  They’re gonna send me to the Raft.”

“No one is sending you to the Raft,”  Steve said.  “If I let you up will you run again?”

“No, no.”  You said.  He took the pressure off your back and you sat up and rolled your shoulder.  “If you send me away, please let me organize someone to take care of my animals.”

“No one is sending you away.”  He said.  “I just… tell me what you were doing?”

“Did you take those hens back?”  You asked.

Steve shook his head slightly.  “No.  They’re with a vet.  I’m going to set up something for them, so they can live outside.”

You seemed to relax.  “Come with me.”

Steve followed you to the large barn.  Out the back was a large carefully fenced off area.  Chickens roamed around pecking and scratching on the ground.  “I liberate animals from places like that.  Everyone you see here has been rescued.  The horses I picked up from slaughter sales.  Many are ex races.  The calves are leftovers from the dairy industry.  The hens from battery farms.  I know outside of actually blowing things up I can’t really do anything to change anything.  But I figure I’m costing them money at least and the ones who come and live with me get to live out the rest of their lives happy.  I’d let the hens roam more but there are wolves and coyotes around here.  Bears too.”  You explained.

“So you just break in and steal these animals?”  Steve asked.

“Yep.  That’s right.”  You said.  “Are you going to arrest me?”

Steve shook his head.  “Part of me feels like I’m supposed to.  I saw those poor chickens though.  I had no idea.  I can’t pretend I’ve never committed felonies when I thought I was doing the right thing though.”

“So what?  Why are you here?”  You asked.

“I don’t know,”  Steve admitted.  “I can’t condone it.  But I don’t know if you’re doing the wrong thing or not.  If you keep doing them you’re going to get caught.”

You shrugged.  “Possibly.  We’ll see.”  You said.  “Thanks for not turning me in though.”

Steve watched the chickens - being chickens - scratching and pecking the ground, chasing bugs, roosting on branches.  “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with the chickens I have now.  I told that vet I’d set something up for them.”

You smiled at him.  “You’re really going to keep them?”

“Yeah, I thought so,”  Steve said.

“I can help you if you want.  They deserve something nice.”

Steve looked you up and down and then nodded.  “That would be really helpful.”  He said. “Thanks.”

“Come on then.  We’ll take my truck.  You’re gonna need some lumber.”  You said and turned back to your house.  Steve chuckled and followed after you.  Today had been weird so far.  He might as well run with it.

// NEXT

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Trial Run

“Steve,” Bucky shouted over the Blonde’s rambling about a really great new girl in data entry that Bucky could probably get along with, “no.” Steve stopped dead in his tracks and tilted his head, looking at Bucky, “What, you scared?” he asked.

“No,” he said, “I’m patently uninterested.” Bucky shoved his gear into its storage space and sighed. It had been a long fucking day and a longer fucking mission. The last thing he wanted to do was talk to Steve about his current lack of a girl to warm his bed. Steve of all people who’d been a steadfast virgin until a couple near-death experiences had shaken the Catholic Guilt out of his head. “C’ mon, Buck.” Steve pressed, “you gotta get out there some time. And these modern dames aren’t all bad.” 

Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. It was irritating, Steve’s mother hen bullshit since he came out of cryo. Steve was still romantic. And an optimist. And a massive pain in his ass. Even after 70 years. Sometimes it was comforting but as he listened to Steve ramble about something called a kindle or a twig or a whatever, he prayed to a god he hadn’t tried to talk to since Germany. He prayed hard. For patience. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he heard his mother and sister Rebecca laughing at him. 

It made his head spin. All the apps and all the social justice things, and the faux pas Steve was firing at him. And then it hit him. You. You were the perfect answer. A field agent that was never at the Compound and when you were, no one ever saw you. You were too busy doing reports for the UN or working on any number of impact campaigns. And you had just walked into the bay, heels clicking crisply. You gave both men a sweet smile but Bucky for a wink. A wink Bucky knew the meaning of. It was fall and you’d been introducing him to horror films. You’d promised to show him the Scream Movies if he brought you something with caffiene in it. Mostly because the current “Get healthy” thing was cutting back on caffeine and you thought that was a crock of shit. 

Bucky waited until you were out of earshot before he blurted out, “I can’t. Y/N and I have a thing.” Steve stopped again, sputtering at him, “That Y/N? The one that just walked by? The one with the nose piercing and the tattoos?” Bucky nods, “I mean. Yeah. She’s a nice girl.” Steve folds his arms, “Uh- huh,” he said, “And how long has this been a “thing”?” Bucky snorts, “I don’t really know. I mean. We text a lot. Watch movies... I took her to go get some of her shit from her ex-boyfriend's house and get her rabbit back. It just kind of... is.” Steve shakes his head, “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me,” he said accusingly. Bucky shrugs again, “You were having so much fun telling me how to live my life I never got the chance.”

Steve gave Bucky a glower and Bucky could only smirk. It was still satisfying to get Steve’s goat. Knock him down a peg every now and then. Steve made an exasperated sound and walked out of the bay, flinging his hands up in irritation. 

Bucky let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Oh fuck,” he groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose, “What did I just do?” He could only ponder for a moment before the alarm bells started ringing and he started running. He had to get to you before Steve could. He had to or he’d never live it down. That Blonde asshole would ride him about it for the next 70 years at least. 

_______

When Bucky pounded on your door sweating and panting, he wasn’t expecting you to open the door in your jammies. Cute tiny shorts with robots on them and a tanktop. A sheer-ish tank top that showed him that your nose was not the only thing you had pierced. “I-need,” he panted, “I- need you to pretend.” He coughed and you held out a hand, “Christ Bucky, if you need laid that bad I can probably grin and bear it,” you joke, a little alarmed. Bucky barks a laugh and takes a deep breath, pushing hair out of his eyes, “Y/N this is serious,” he panted, “I need you to pretend to date me.” You snorted, “You’re fucking with me right?” you ask. Bucky shakes his head, “Please! If Steve ever finds out I’ll literally have to die just so he’ll get off my dick.” You sigh, “If Steve ever finds out what?” 

Bucky turns red to the roots of his hair and hangs his head, “That we're not really dating or anything,” he mumbles. You gasp and thud your head on the door frame, “James Buchanan Barnes, you fucking didn’t.” Bucky shifted his weight uncomfortably, “I panicked,” he said, tracing the pattern in the carpet with his toe. You can’t help it, you laugh and take his hand, “You? Mr. Brooding Calm? You panicked.” Bucky can’t help it, he smiles a little sheepishly, “He threatened me with Tinder,” he said holding up his hands, “I’ve seen Sam on that app. It’s a fucking nightmare. And you walked by and I just. It’s the first thing that came out. I’m sorry, please. I’m desperate. I’ll do whatever you want.” Bucky looks like he might actually start begging for a second and it softens you a little, even if you are irritated. 

As much as you don’t want to be a part of the macho bullshit, he looks so young. And so fucking confused. 70 years ago dating wasn’t the hellscape it is now. Not for someone handsome and charming. And he didn’t mean to drag you into your own personal definition of hell. You kiss his cheek and smile a little, “I have one condition,” you tell him, grinning. Bucky can’t help it. He smiles. “What’s that, Sugar?” he asks testing out the pet name on you. Not that one, he decides. Too common. 

“You pay for the beer on movie night. And we never put olives on the pizza again.” you tell him. Bucky groans, “Can’t I just repay you in sexual favors?”

You shove him gently, “Dream on, mister. I’ll fake date you but I’m not gonna fuck you... This is just a trial run. Help you get your sea legs.”

“And get Steve off my back,” he adds. “And that,” you agree, nodding.

Tags: @lancsnerd @stevieang​ @golddaggers @blameitonthecauseway​ @qxeen-of-hearts @process-pending@xmarveled​ @beautybyfire, @etherealwaifgoddess, @mschellehitt, @mistressoftorture @thorfanficwriter