#ex army natasha

[olsenmyolsen]

The Farmer's Daughter

(A WandaNat Story)

New Chapter Every Friday

AU

The Synopsis and Cast of Characters

Chapter One: A Piece of Paper

Chapter Two: A Place To Work and A Place To Live

Chapter Three: Meeting Wanda Maximoff

Chapter Four: The Farmer's Daughter

Chapter Five: Getting It Together

Chapter Six: A Nightmare

Chapter Seven: Okay

Chapter Eight: Back to Work

Chapter Nine: Feelings

Chapter Ten: Pie Baking While Hungover

Chapter Eleven: A Weekend Away Pt. 1 - Pictures

Chapter Twelve: A Weekend Away Pt. 2 - Black and Bruised

Chapter Thirteen: For You

Chapter Fourteen: Someone's Ticklish

Chapter Fifteen: Long Distance Calls

Chapter Sixteen: Your Brother is a Bother...

Chapter Seventeen: ...But There's Karaoke

Chapter Eighteen: The Silence

Chapter Nineteen: Meet The Bartons

Chapter Twenty: Breakfast

Future Chapters Coming Soon...

[notafunkiller]

Bucky Barnes is the best super soldier

How it was subtly emphasized in The Falcon and The Winter Soldier:

He always holds back

With the Flag Smashers and even with John Walker. We could see the difference in the last 3 episodes. Sebastian Stan did an incredible job making it clear in a subtle way.

I want to mention that famous "Stay there" scene, and how it was visible Bucky was not punching as hard as he can in the fight with John.)

This is the thing about Bucky, he isn't after the kill, he just does his part. He doesn't try to show off his skills or that he is a good guy. He doesn't try to play the victim role, either. In the scene where Zemo fake-activates the Winter Soldier in Madripoor, he just makes a point. He's obviously not even trying hard.

If he wanted those in the club dead, they would be. But his self control was wow. Sebastian acted so well, his exes said everything.

*And to be honest, even when he was TWS, he could have killed everyone, but he didn't. He could have killed all of the Avengers in Civil War is they were his mission, but they weren't. This is how Natasha survived when she met him, too. It depended on what kind of mission he had (if he wasn't allowed to be seen, then the witnesses would die too, but otherwise? He didn't bother).

2. His skills

People tend to forget how smart and good at making strategies Bucky is. He's been fighting (even though he hates fighting and never wanted to be in the army) for years before he was even captured by Hydra. And this is the reason why government still want him, after all. They can use his strategies as a leader (*cough* Thunderbolts *cough*).

In the last episodes of TFATWS, we could see how he outsmarted everyone. Karli was so terrified of him.

3. Karli Morgenthau

And talking about Karli, the phone call was interesting:

She asked him if he's not tired of fighting for the wrong side, and then told him she's fighting for something bigger than herself.

"And with all the bodies you've collected, have you ever been able to say the same?"

The first thing I wanna point out is how everyone talks about the deaths Bucky caused when he was controlled by Hydra, but everyone ignores the fact that all the Avengers killed far more, but since we consider them the good side, we just don't care.

Clint, Tony, Steve, Wanda etc. They all cause(d) far more deaths than "two dozen" (known assassinations - to quote Natasha), and neither was controlled. The double standards are something else, especially for Clint. (One of the reasons why Tony was on the other side in CW was because of his guilt, after all.)

The second point is how Bucky's answer says a lot more than we might realize at first:

"You don't think I ever fought for something bigger than myself? That's all I ever tried to do, and I failed twice."

Even as TWS, Bucky had to be convinced he is on the right side, that what they do is to save the world, to give "the world the freedom it deserves".

Even brainwashed and put to sleep all the time, he had to be lied to. Bucky as TWS was a victim too. He is not a victim only because he didn't have memories or control, but also because they lied to him and used him as a toy. That milk scene is so loud. (And I am gonna talk about it in a different post). He had no rights, no choices. He was used to being tortured.

[And I wish they explored it more. We deserved and deserve a WS film - maybe with him in Romania getting back his memories, writing in his journal etc.]

"You think your cause justifies all this death, but in the end, the nightmares won't go away. You're gonna remember all the ones you killed. Trust me. Don't do this. Don't go down this path."

Despite being on opposite sides, Bucky still said this to Karli, trying to help her, to make her see the big picture, sharing how he felt and feels.

He is on "the right side". He is a hero, and Bucky being thanked by that man for saving everyone's life was touching.

4. Baron Zemo

You can see how smart, strong, and rational Bucky is when he decides to break Zemo out of jail (his plan was amazing too), risking so much (his relationship with Wakanda people and his own freedom) to get his help for the mess. He puts the cause above his own (huge) trauma. And this makes that moment in Madripoor even more disgusting (he is treated as an object, as a toy):

Zemo: Tell us what you know about the super-soldier serum. And I give you him, along with the code words to control him, of course. He will do anything you want.

The way he keeps his composure, reacts and manages the situation... absolutely incredible!

This conversation also says a lot:

Zemo: The desire to become a superhuman cannot be separated from supremacist ideals. Anyone with that serum is inherently on that path.

Bucky: Maybe you're wrong, Zemo. The serum never corrupted Steve.

Zemo: Touché. But there has never been another Steve Rogers, has there?

Bucky positions himself below Steve, who's considered a good hero, a good person... like no other. But Steve never had to go through what Bucky did: from being kidnapped like that, to being tested on, to falling off the train, to being tortured, and used, and brainwashed for decades, and put to sleep when he was not needed and having n "keepers".

Also, interesting how all Steve wanted was to fight (for a good cause, but still)... and fighting still means violence, meanwhile Bucky never wanted to fight, not even before becoming TWS, in the army (and yet he is still great at fighting. And he is deadly, even when he holds back.). All he wanted was peace.

Despite not getting the "perfect serum", despite being brainwashed, put to sleep, and forced to fight for decades, he is still himself. He never gave in to the dark side for real. He fought in his own way. The first thing he did when he woke up was to choke the Hydra guy with a whole new arm!

Bucky is so underrated: from his intelligence and fighting skills, to how human he is. Being flawed, keeping his sassiness and charm from the 40s, but getting more mature and carrying his past on his shoulders... he's so relatable and real. And every day, he shows Zemo he is wrong.

The show he makes in his final scene with Zemo is absolutely fantastic. He doesn't just prove the point he isn't defined by the serum and Hydra (AND not even by Steve, thanks to Sam. His speech made him realize the important thing about himself: that he decides who he is, not others - even those who know him before becoming TWS- "And this might be a surprise, but it doesn't matter what Steve thought. You gotta stop looking to other people to tell you who you are." parallel to "Steve believed in you. He trusted you. He gave you that shield for a reason. That shield, that is… that is everything he stood for. That is his legacy. He gave you that shield, and you threw it away like it was nothing. [...] So maybe he was wrong about you. And if he was wrong about you, then he was wrong about me."), but also that he is superior.

When Zemo tells him that he decided to let him alive (probably so he can kill Karli) and basically calls him a killing machine: "programmed to kill", Bucky plays the role, lets Zemo talk him into killing Karli, and then Bucky watches him waiting for his own death.

[Also, Bucky's line: Imagine my relief is hilarious.]

The acting was incredible: the shock on Zemo's face and the amusement and somehow relief on Bucky's after he pulls the trigger and lets the bullets fall... He proved him he's THE standard of the super soldier. Because despite everything he went through, he is the best.

Zemo telling him to cross his name off felt like a fresh start (+ telling Nakajima the truth).

5. John Walker

John, on the other hand, is lucky Bucky is an understanding person. He gets what is like... the pressure, the environment, the loss, and even tries to help.

Bucky: Don't go down that road. Believe me, it doesn't end well.

John: I'm not like you!

Of course he is not like Bucky, because Bucky has control. He is not killing to get revenge in a cynical way.

"That serum doesn't exactly have a great track record."

John kept judging Bucky every time they spoke, somehow placing himself above this "broken" man.

"This is all really easy for you, isn't it? All that serum runnin' through your veins. Barnes, your partner needs backup in there. Do you really want his blood on your hands?"

This is so wrong on every single level, especially because Bucky didn't choose to take the serum, and he always had his friends' back. He's loyal and ready to sacrifice himself.

The "funny" part about this is John ending up taking the last super soldier serum vial. All the judgement, the disgust, the patronizing tone, just to do that. Plus, of course, to kill someone with the shield.

(John proves Zemo's point about super soldiers, and Bucky does the opposite.)

And what is it easy for Bucky anyway?

He's under government conditions (so CACW coded), he has a vibranium arm that I bet the government would try to take after he dies (HOPEFULLY WHEN HE'S 200 YEARS OLD IN HIS BED, as Sebastian wants too) if he isn't in Wakanda, he is haunted by nightmares (which also can mean he is still Hydra's TWS in another universe as we found out from Strange), and he has to learn how to live for real. He's smart, charismatic, has values and principles, and he's incredible.

We need to see his version of TWS going after everyone Hydra helped. TWS is him, a part of him, and doing that on his terms, having control over it would help him heal.

[aurumacadicus]

Anyway I saw a commercial where Don Cheadle runs a speakeasy.

--

"Tony, my bar is opening tonight and my piano player has food poisoning," Jim stated when he found him in the living room of his penthouse, watching a basketball game.

Tony blinked at him, shoving a handful of chips into his mouth. "I can flush him with Pedialyte?"

"This isn't college. Also I already left him a case and a credit card in case his girlfriend has to take him to get an IV," Jim answered with a blasé shrug. He reached over the back of the couch to grab his hair and give him a gentle shake. "I understand you're still reeling from your breakup but I need a favor. You must have dated at least one person who can play jazz on the piano."

"Stop wobbling me I'm full of chips," Tony grumbled, lifting his hand to slap Jim's arm. "And no, I didn't. I'm the piano player in my relationships."

Jim paused, then began shaking him with more fervor. "HOW COME YOU NEVER PLAYED FOR ME."

"There wasn't a piano in our dorm I will throw up on you," Tony snapped, smacking his arm again. "Also??? I was adorable in school I would have hogged all the girls."

"It's so annoying that you're right," Jim huffed, allowing himself to be brushed off. He looked around the penthouse, then pointed at the piano next to the window, which he'd always thought was just there either to impress Tony's dates or because rich people just owned pianos. "Show me what you can do."

"I don't want to go to your speakeasy opening," Tony complained, even as he stood and brushed his hands off on his sweatpants. "I want to wallow in finding my ex-boyfriend fucking my ex-girlfriend in my bed. I was supposed to propose tonight. You're getting George Gershwin."

"Oh no," Jim deadpanned. "A way to get your mind off of that guy I hated anyway while getting me to owe you a favor."

Tony paused, slanting him a look out of the corner of his eye. His fingers hovered over the piano keys. "...You'll owe me a favor?" he repeated.

"A big one," Jim confirmed, and couldn't help a relieved smile as Tony's fingers danced along the keys in response, Rhapsody in Blue vibrating out from the piano's body. "Wear that pinstripe number. You'll never have to buy yourself a drink."

--

Most of the patrons were by invite. Jim had wanted to show the place off to his friends first, now that it was finished. A themed bar wasn't the safest bet in any economy, and he wanted them to be able to enjoy it before he had to start stressing about finances. And military people never needed an excuse to drink.

Tony's favor had involved inviting a few of his rich friends, though, and with the selfies Janet Van Dyne and Johnny Storm were posting online, Jim figured he'd be set for a few years, especially when Jan grabbed his hands and sparkled at him about how she'd be coming at least once a week to show off new flapper dresses. (He was still unsure as to how she "sparkled" at him, but it was an adjective he'd gotten from Tony and it was the only really apt one.) They kept dropping fifties in the tip jar, too, which only made his bartenders more cheerful and willing to act in their roles.

Luckily, the higher class clientele were balanced out with Jim's pals from the military. Carol and Maria had already said their goodbyes (Monica had an event early the next morning) but as the air force left, the army rolled in, and he welcomed the Howling Commandoes in with only a little teasing.

"Jim," Natasha said, appearing beside him between one breath and another, despite the beads on her dress tinkling musically with each step. "Why is Bucky lying to people that his food poisoning miraculously ended. And why did he give me five hundred dollars to shut up about him not having food poisoning."

Jim sighed. He should have known that Bucky would have gotten dragged here regardless of his "illness" with friends like the Commandoes. "I needed to get Tony out of the house but I knew he'd only do it if I needed help. Today was the first time he showered in a week."

"I see. Well, I've just gotten May and Happy together," Natasha said ominously. "And Pepper is well on her way to realizing Phil is asking her out. I could use a new project. Steve is also single."

"I really don't want Tony dating right after he found his cheating ex-boyfriend in his bed with someone else," Jim began.

"Don't worry, Steve is stupidly loyal even to people he's not dating and will punch Tiberius Stone in the teeth if he ever sees him," Natasha assured him, and floated halfway across the room as Jim gave her an astonished blink.

Well. Jim couldn't say he didn't want to see that. He drifted over to the piano, where Tony was still diligently playing Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong and Jelly Roll Morton. "You need a break, bud? You've been playing for two hours straight."

"Rhodey," Tony slurred happily, and it made Jim suddenly aware of the rows of martini glasses on the side of the piano. "This is so much fun. Is it okay if my tips go to charity. I can't feel my hands."

Bucky appeared a moment later, cheerfully shouldering him aside. "I'll take over, fella," he said, giving Jim a wink, and hip-checked Tony off of the piano bench and directly into Jim's arms.

"Was that hot or am I sad and drunk?" Tony asked. He squinted at Bucky blearily. "Am I sad and looking for anything to be hot. Or was that actually hot."

Reluctantly, Jim answered, "No, it was hot, but Bucky's taken." He pulled Tony's arm over his shoulders. "Let's get some water in you, okay?"

"Okay but I promised Jan I'd play her out because of drama and panache," Tony wobbled, allowing Jim to tow him over to the dark, moody sitting area. "Is this a secret door? Oh my God yay," he added as Jim pulled a bookcase open to reveal a back room where he could rest without excitement.

Jim had intended for it to be a room for private parties, but letting his friends sober up in it tonight would be fine, probably. Especially if Tony was going to be drunk and cute about it. "What is Jan going to have you play?"

"'Let's Misbehave,'" Tony slurred, and Jim sighed fondly, because of course she was.

[jpmarvel90]

Coming Home

Masterlist Scarlett Masterlist

Relationship: Natasha x ex-Reader

Summary: Friends most of thier lives and in a relationship from 17 years old, Y/n and Scarlett's relationship deteriorated when Scarlett started her acting career. In contrast Y/n joined the military and has a surprise encounter after many years when she returns from duty.

Word Count: 3881

Y/n's POV:

I have known Scarlett Johansson most of my life. We grew up together and our parents are really close friends. We were best friends for most of our childhood and then we started dating when we were 17. For 3 years we were together, and we had a great relationship. We may have been young, but our love was strong. I adored her and I truly believe that she did in return.

When we turned 20, she started being away more for filming, and because our relationship wasn't public, I wasn't able to travel with her or spend as much time as I'd hoped. Over time, the contact was getting less and less. We used to call everyday regardless of where she was and be texting through the day. But as the months went on, she called less and eventually just stopped messaging me all together.

What was worse was still seeing her family regularly. I loved her parents, especially her mom and I struggled to still spend time with them when I had been completely ghosted by their daughter. So, to protect my already broken heart, I started to distance myself from them. I was in college in New York and just focused on getting to graduation.

Much to my Mom's dismay, when I graduated college, I joined the Army. I commissioned as an Officer and was posted out to Fort Benning in Georgia. I was due to be posted to Afghanistan so my parents decided to throw a huge party to send me off. I was surprised when the Johanssons appeared at the door, but I was grateful to see them before I left.

I needed to take a breather and stood outside in our garden to collect my thoughts of how I ended up here. I hadn't ever really been far from my family. I had stay in New York for College. It was weird at first when I went to Georgia a year ago. Now I was heading to Afghanistan on my first deployment, and I was leading my unit. As I was lost in thought, I felt a hand placed on my shoulder. "You look so grown up in your uniform." I turned around and saw Melanie, Scarlett's mom. "I still remember you running around our back garden playing soldiers with Scarlett as 8 year olds. I never thought you'd actually end up going to fight." She said with a sad look on her face.

I took her hand and pulled her into a hug. "I'm sorry I stopped coming to see you. It was just hard." I apologised. "We understood Y/n. I'm sorry that my daughter didn't have the courage to talk to you and not just block you out of her life." She said sincerely. "I've always considered you like a daughter Y/n. I hope you can keep in contact whilst you're away." She said and I instantly felt my guilt grow for shutting them out of my life just because of what Scarlett had done.

"I'll write as often as I can and when I come home to visit, I'll be sure to come by. You and Karsten are family to me." We pulled away from our hug and she gave me a teary smile. "How about a photo before you leave?" She asked and I happily obliged. We went and sought out Karsten and my parents and took a few photos. As I was leaving this evening I was already in my uniform.

Once the party was over, I had a teary goodbye with my parents and made my way to the station for my train to Georgia ready for my flight in the morning. As I put my bag on my back, I turned and saw my dad holding my mom in the doorway as they watched me leave. I turned around and gave them a wave as I turned the corner out of sight. Their words still ringing in my ears. "Please come back to us."

_____________

It had been 4 years since I left, and I had barely been home. I had done one tour of Iraq and was in the middle of my second tour of Afghanistan. I wrote as often as I could as making calls was difficult from the patrol bases, I was stationed at. I had kept my promise and was in regular contact with Melanie. The couple of times I had managed to get home, I always would drop by and see them.

As much as I had tried to avoid any news on Scarlett, I would still see things in the press or online. She was just going through a divorce with Ryan Reynolds and that did nothing for my confidence. No wonder she wanted to stop any contact with me when she had guys like him around. Luckily, I only saw things like this when I was back in the US. Thankfully gossip news wasn't exactly a priority in Afghanistan so it was pretty easy to avoid it whilst I was there.

I was currently sat on the train on my way back home for R&R leave and I was nervous as I hadn't been home in nearly 2 years. I was planning on spending my week off with my parents before I had to fly back out. My parents didn't know that I was coming home so I was excited to surprise them, although I knew that I was going to have to explain the cuts and bruises from an incident I was involved in.

After the long train journey, I jumped in a taxi to head home. My leg was bouncing with nerves at the thought of seeing my parents again. I had really missed them and wished that I had made the effort to come home more often. As the taxi pulled up outside my house, I paid up and found myself just standing on the front step. I could hear music and laughing inside and there was a part of me that didn't want to interrupt. But I took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

The door swung open, and my Dad was stood there. It took a moment for him to register that it was me before he silently just pulled me into the biggest hug he has ever given me. I could hear small sniffles and as he pulled away, I noticed a few tears had fallen down his cheeks. "I can't believe you're home!" He said through the tears. "Who is it Henry?" I heard my mom call from the dining room. "I think you should come and see for yourself Mary." He replied, never taking his eyes off of me.

I heard her gasp and let out a small scream as she saw me stood in the doorway. "OH MY GOD! My baby!" she ran toward me and launched herself at me, almost knocking me over. "Hi Mom. I missed you." I said into the hug. My dad joined the hug and we stayed like that for what felt like hours. When our hug was done my mom cupped my face and I could see her examining the couple of cuts I had on my face. "You're hurt. What happened?" She stated. I placed my hands on hers and shook my head. "I'm fine. I'll tell you about it another time." I replied, not wanting to get into that story now.

Our little family reunion was interrupted by a voice from behind us. "Little Y/n has really grown up." Karsten said walking forward to give me a quick hug. "I am 27 now." I laughed in response. "Good to see you still look good in your uniform." Melanie added as she now appeared. I couldn't help the wide grin on my face when I saw her. I instinctively opened my arms and we hugged. "I'm glad you're home safe." She whispered.

I nodded and looked around at 4 of the most important people in my life. But I felt my heart completely drop when I heard another shuffle come from the dining room. I looked over and saw a face I hadn't seen in over 5 years. Scarlett. I could feel the air get thicker as our parents all dropped their eye contact. Ignoring her presence, I turned to my mom. "I should have called. I didn't realise you had company. I need a shower, so I'll leave you guys to it." I said, grabbing my bag and making my way towards the stairs.

I was stopped by my mom grabbing my wrist. "Y/n, you are never interrupting us. Please join us for some food." I couldn't stay down here. I know it's been years since I last saw her and I should have moved on already, but seeing her stood there again, I couldn't do it. "I really need a shower mom. I've got sand in places I never wanted sand." I joked and carried on up the stairs to my room. Well, this wasn't how I expected my leave to go.

Scarlett's POV:

(1 year ago)

I was visiting my parents in New York whilst I had a break from filming. Things with Ryan and I weren't going well, and I needed some time away to clear my head and work out what I wanted. I had some work to get done today, so I was in my mom's office and a photo on her desk caught my eye.

It took me a moment to realise who it was. Y/n. She was in an Army uniform and was with both my parents. When was this even taken? I hadn't seen Y/n since I left to film in LA. I hated to admit it, but I had treated her awfully. I was so scared of coming out, that I decided I couldn't be with her anymore. But instead of doing the right thing and talking to her. I was a coward and slowly started to ignore her until she finally stopped messaging me.

I hated doing it as I loved her more than anything. I threw myself into work so I could ignore my feelings and try to get over the love of my life. Eventually I met Ryan and I thought I had managed to succeed in forgetting about Y/n. And I had for a while, but there would be small things in our relationship that would annoy me and I'd find myself thinking that Y/n wouldn't do that. But when I had these thoughts, I would just supress them, I couldn't think of her like that anymore.

I grabbed the photo frame and walked downstairs to my mom who was cooking in the kitchen. "When was this taken?" I asked, placing the photo on the kitchen counter. My mom looked down at the photo and back to me sighing. "3 years ago, the day she left for her first deployment." She answered. "Why didn't you tell me she joined the army." I asked, slightly frustrated. "It was your decision to cut her out of your life. Like I told you every time you would ask about her. If you wanted to know about her, you should have contacted her." She replied harshly.

She was right. At the beginning I was always asking how she was and what she was up to. But every time my mom would shut me down and would tell me that if I cared enough to know about her, I should contact her myself. I never had the courage to do that. "Where is she now?" I asked. Mom put down the knife she had in her hands and gave her full attention to me. "Georgia. She's getting ready to deploy to Afghanistan again." I let her words sink in as she spoke.

I felt a knot in my stomach at the thought of her being in a war zone. "We're all very proud of her. She's the first woman to lead a combat infantry unit. She's done amazingly well in her career." My mom explains with a smile on her face. "Do you keep in contact with her?" I question. She nodded. "She writes as often as she can."

"Does she um. Did she ever ask about me?" I tentatively inquired. Mom dropped her eye contact and instantly knew her answer. "No. I think it hurt her too much. She changed after you left. She put up this wall. You really hurt her Scar." She said. I knew I had hurt her, and I really regretted it. But I knew I wouldn't ever be able to make it up to her. I'd never earn her forgiveness.

_____________

(Night Y/n returns)

We were all having a nice meal with the Y/l/ns. I had recently moved back to New York after my divorce. I was spending a lot of time with my parents as I needed their support. I also started to see more of Henry and Mary so I could feel closer to Y/n. I still hadn't reached out to her. I wanted to more than anything, but I had no idea how I would even start.

We had just started to eat when there was a knock at the door. Henry got up to answer it. We couldn't hear much, just mumbling. Mary then got up to check who it was. My parents and I all had a worried look when we heard a small scream from Mary followed by "Oh my god!". We quickly got up and my parents were first to leave the dining room. As soon as I looked through the doorway, I saw her. She was being smothered by a hug from her parents, but I could tell clear as day that it was her.

I quietly watched as my mom and dad greeted her and it was great to see that they still had a good relationship with her. We grew up together and we were like extended family to each other, and I know how much my parents loved Y/n. I smiled to myself at their interaction and that fate had brought us back together tonight.

After they had all had their reunion, I started to walk into the hallway to join them when Y/n's eyes snapped to mine. I could see the happiness in her eyes disappear and be replaced with hurt. I couldn't get any words out and before I knew it she was walking away. My brain was yelling at me to call after her, but I just stood there watching as she walked up the stairs.

"I should go. I don't want to stop you spending time with Y/n." I said, feeling my heart shatter at the thought that she can't even be in the same room as me. Mary reached over to take my hand and shook her head. "Don't be silly. You're staying. She's just shocked to see you." I still wasn't sure but her dad gave me a reassuring smile so I turned back towards the dining room.

I couldn't take my eyes off the doorway, all I wanted was for her to join us, but I knew she wouldn't. Maybe I should go and see her. Seeing her again made me realise that I'm still in love with her. I'm the one that needs to apologise, I need to make the first move. "Why don't you go up sweetheart?" I heard Mary say. I looked up and was giving me a sympathetic smile.

I stood up and took a deep breath and made my way to her bedroom. The door was slightly opened and as I knocked it opened further to reveal Y/n. She had just taken her shirt off and was stood in a sports bra. Her torso was covered in dark bruising. With no control over my body, I had rushed over to her and placed my hands on her back. "Oh my god Y/n. What happened?" I asked full of concern. She quickly pulled away from me and her face was full of anger.

"What do you want Scarlett?" She asked harshly, ignoring my question. "I uh, I want to talk." I stuttered, still not able to take my eyes away from her injuries. She laughed and pulled away from me. She was still shirtless, and I found my eyes admiring her body. She was in incredible shape. The Army was doing great for her. "Talk? Well so did I, 5 years ago." She said and the anger in her voice made my heart clench. "Please I just want to apologise. How I acted was cowardly and I should have come home to talk to you. I was scared." I tried to explain but she just scoffed.

I watched as she ran her hands through her hair, starting to pace. "Why now? We're both completely different people now. What benefit is there to either of us to have this conversation." Her words were cutting and there was a part of me that was terrified that I would never be able to fix this. "Because I still lov..." "Don't you dare finish that sentence." She spun around on the spot interrupting me with a look of anger. "I loved you with all I had. I gave you everything and put you first time and time again. Yet I clearly meant nothing to you as you could so easily just forget about me." She said, tears starting to fall.

"But I did love you. I still do! It was the biggest mistake I've ever made. I never forgot about you. I tried but I couldn't." I tried to explain but I could tell she wasn't having any of it. "Tell me this Scarlett. If I hadn't seen you tonight, would you have contacted me?" She has stopped pacing now and had stopped right in front of me, her hands on her hips. Words weren't coming out of my mouth and I was cursing at myself for it. "That's what I thought." She said grabbing her towel and shutting herself in the bathroom.

I felt tears falling down my cheeks, my heart breaking. I didn't have the right to feel like this. I was the one that broke her heart. I made my way back downstairs and rejoined our parents. They all gave me a sympathetic look. "Give her time. She never stopped loving you. She's just hurt and protecting herself." Her dad offered which surprised me. I hurt their daughter. I would have thought they wouldn't want me anywhere near her. I gave him a small smile of gratitude and we carried on the dinner.

Over the last week I had tried to see Y/n as often as I could but each time, she would push me away. I knew that if I wanted to mend what I broke, I had to show her what she meant to me. I was making my way over to her parents' house, but my heart sank when I saw Y/n in the doorway in uniform and her bag in hand. Her mom was crying, and her dad had her in a tight embrace.

I ran up their footpath wanting to know where she was going. "Are you leaving?" I asked and she turned around and I could see that she had been crying. "Yeah, my leave is over. I've got to head back." She said and it was the first time she's spoken to me willingly. "To Afghanistan?" I ask and she nods. Not giving her time to react, I pull her into a hug and try to hide the fact that I was crying. "Stay safe." Was all that I could get out and I was shocked when she returned the hug.

Once I released her, she grabbed her bag and turned to give her parents one last hug. "I'll see you in 3 months." She said and started to make her way down the path. The three of us watched her leave and I felt a hand on my shoulder. "She'll come home." Henry said, but I think he was trying to convince himself as much as me.

It had been 2 months since Y/n had gone. I had been writing to her three or four times a week, after getting the address from my mom. I had a couple of short replies from her, which was more than I had expected. Maybe she was starting to warm up to me more. I couldn't wait for her to come home as I had a whole plan to win her back. I knew Y/n better than most people. Yes it may be 5 years and she's changed but I know there are some things that will never change. So, I was going to use all of that knowledge to win her back over.

I was working on some emails when I heard a knock at the door. I got up and was greeted by my mom at the door, but I quickly noticed that her eyes were red and puffy. "Mom, what's wrong? Is dad ok?" I asked panicked as I guided her into the living room. She shook her head and took a deep breath. "It's Y/n." She whispered and, in that moment, I felt my heart tear in two. "I just had a call from Henry. Y/n's unit came under attack, she got hurt and they couldn't get to her. They had to retreat without her. She's been declared missing in action, presumed dead." Her words were like knives to my already wounded heart.

I dropped to my knees and let out a cry. My mom knelt next to me and pulled me into a hug. We both cried together. "But they haven't found a body, so she could still be alive." I said trying to grasp on to any hope. "Sweetheart, her injuries were severe. They said the likelihood of her surviving was extremely small." My mom sobbed.  I can't believe, the woman that I love is dead. I never should have left her all those years ago. Maybe she wouldn't have joined the army if we were still together. She'd still be alive, and we'd be together like we were meant to me.

As my sobbing got louder, my mom held me closer. "It's ok sweetheart. We'll get through this together." She said through her own tears. "It won't be ok. I've lost her forever. It's all my fault! I was such a selfish asshole and it's cost me the love of my life." My mom and I held each other, mourning the loss of someone so important in both of our lives.

She died a hero, saving the lives of her men by ordering the retreat whilst she was injured knowing she wouldn't make it. I wouldn't have expected anything less from her. She always put other people first. In this instant it cost her her life. I should have put her first like she had always done to me. I should have never let a day go by where she didn't know how much I loved her. But instead, I'm sat here mourning the loss of the one person I can't live my life without. I was just too late to realise it.

Part 2

[littleseasiren]

Fight for me - Part 6

Summary: After years in an abusive relationship, you finally get out. When the Avengers decide to raise awareness for your Woman’s Shelter, you bump into Bucky Barnes, the hottest, most complicated man you’ve ever met. He thinks you’re too good for him, but when your abusive ex reappears, Bucky knows he has to keep you safe - by any means necessary.

Pairing: Beefy!Bucky x reader

Warnings: Language, violence, kissing, dry humping, the Winter Soldier, little bit of angst, fluff

Words: ~ 3000

A/N: Grammarly is my beta reader, so any mistakes are my own. I know nothing about guns or Russian, so please ignore any mistakes. If you want to be added to my tag list, please comment or message me. Comments and reblogs will be appreciated. Thanks for reading!

Series Masterlist

It's late at night when Steve pours you a shot of Whiskey. "So, that was the Winter Soldier..." you ask rhetorically, thinking back on how Bucky had been screaming less than an hour ago when he had been triggered to become the Winter Soldier. 

It seems someone had found a back door in JARVIS' system and had used it to link with the security cameras and the intercom system in the tower. Thank God for Wanda. She had surprised the soldier and used her amazing powers to contain him in the gym long enough for Tony to release the sleeping gas.   

Swallowing the whiskey down, you enjoy the warm sensation in your throat, yet it doesn't seem to relax you after the events of the afternoon. It was five hours later and Bucky hadn't woken up yet. Bruce and Tony had taken the first two shifts to watch the sleeping soldier and to keep him safe. It was Sam's turn to watch him now.

"That was... that was like an echo of the Winter Soldier. The few times I've fought him, he was a lot worse. If Wanda hadn't been here you'd know what I'm talking about. When we first discovered that Bucky was the Winter Soldier, he took on Natasha, Sam, and I, and he almost won..." Steve's eyes take on a distant look, thinking back to that time.

"Wow, he's that good?" You knew he was a great fighter, Natasha even said he might be the best fighter in the Avengers group, but to hear it from Steve just made it seem more realistic. With Bucky's size and strength, you'd expect him to be slow, but he moved impossibly fast. The result of years of fighting and the serum coursing through his veins, you suppose.

"Yeah, he is that good. In the army, they said he was the best natural-born fighter that they had ever seen, and that was before he became a sniper too. When he's the Soldier, he's trained to do whatever the person who triggered him says. Doesn't matter if it hurts him, he has to listen. He's -" Steve is interrupted when Sam enters the kitchen.

"Yo, Cap. What do you need?" Sam asks, grabbing a shake from the kitchen.

"What are you talking about?" Steve's eyes narrow as he stares at Sam, "Why aren't you with Bucky?"

The colour drains out of Sam's face. "Scott said you needed me? You said he should watch Bucky instead?" 

When Steve jumps up from his seat, he's furious. "Fuck!" Sam shouts as he runs down the corridor, running to the gym.

Steve shouts to JARVIS to lockdown the tower and inform Tony about what happened before the two of you run to the gym after Sam. 

The bulletproof door of the gym is wide open and Bucky is nowhere to be seen. Steve cocks his head and is running down a different corridor when Sam flies through a wall, groaning as he tries to get up, the Winter Soldier lifting him by his throat, squeezing the life out of Sam with his metal arm.

Steve runs to the fight, kicking Bucky in the ribs, making him drop Sam to the floor. You rush to Sam, making sure he is still alive. From the corner of your eye, you see Wanda enter the room, fingers starting to light up as you pull Sam to a nearby wall to get him away from the fighting. 

Bucky hits Steve hard in the chest, making him bump into Wanda and lose her concentration. When she looks up, the Winter Soldier is on her, grabbing her two small hands behind her back and knocking her into the wall before she slumps to the ground unconscious. 

Steve runs to him again, the two super soldiers punching and kicking each other so fast, that you struggle to keep up with them. Like lighting, the Winter Soldier has Steve's right arm in his grasp, elbow pointing down before he brings his knee up, driving it into Steve's forearm. You scream as you hear the sickening sound of Steve's arm breaking, his bone sticking out of his bloody forearm. Not done with him yet, the Winter Soldier grabs Steve's shirt and spins him around, throwing him through a different wall into the next room.

You can't help the shiver spreading over your entire body as cold, merciless eyes meet your own. The Soldier bends down to you, grasping you around the neck as he pushes you against the wall, his eyes roaming over you.

"Bucky, please!" You shout, seeming to only anger the soldier in front of you as he snarls at you. "Winter, please..." You stammer, grasping onto his metal wrist, your hands too small to circle it completely. You take a chance and blurt out any excuse before it is too late. "They want me alive, don't they?" 

The light pressure on your neck relaxes, but his hand stays where it is. He stares at you, eyes meeting yours before dropping to your lips for just a second and back up again. 

"What are your orders, Winter?"

"Kill the Avengers and take you to them, unharmed." 

You take a chance and rub your hands up and down his chest slowly, trying to coax him down from the edge. His brows knit in confusion. Has anyone ever willingly touched him before?

"Do you know who I am?" You ask him softly, your thumb rubbing his neck as you move your hands up. 

"Your Y/N," he removes his arm from your neck and grasps your hips in both his hands, stepping in closer, "you're his woman."

Your heart beats in your chest, your mind racing to keep up with the soldier in front of you. "No Winter, I'm your woman. You're a part of him, so I'm yours too. I'm your kitten." You rub your nose in his neck, breathing him in as he does the same to you. You spot Wanda as she wobbles to her feet. 

"My kitten," he whispers, before kissing your neck. You move your hands up, eyes locking on Wanda, as you try and relay a message to her in your mind before your hands grasp Winter's hair. 

"Look at me, Winter," you beg him. He straightens up as you see Wanda exit the room, helping Sam slip out. "You don't want to hurt me, right?" He shakes his head before his lips meet yours, his kiss dominant and all too eager. When he breaks the kiss you continue, "Good. You know, if you take me to them, they'll hurt me..." 

"I won't let them." He says as he pushes in closer to you. "You're mine." His authoritative tone sends goosebumps down your spine. He has no doubt, no shyness as he stakes his claim.

"Did they say when you have to take me to them? Exactly when?" 

He shakes his head again as his hand moves up to cup one of your breasts. You moan in response. "So you can take me tomorrow, right?" He only nods in reply before he places kisses down your throat. Your voice is husky as you continue, "Let me make you feel good Winter." 

When he pulls back you point to the couch next to the door that has somehow remained intact. He pulls you with him as he sits on the couch, pulling you down so you straddle him. "Just relax, handsome. Let me make you feel good." 

His eyes are almost completely black as you lean down and lick his throat, placing small nips before kissing them better. You can feel how hard he is beneath you as he holds your waist and grinds you down on him. You meet his lips again, sucking on his lower lip as you pull his hair softly, making him moan in arousal. 

Pushing down your hips, you rub your core on his hard bulge, eyes widening when you feel him grow even bigger beneath you. You pull his hair to the side, making him turn his face away from the door as you kiss down his exposed neck, dipping your tongue in the hollow of his collarbone, making him shiver. His arms wrap around your back, holding you to him as he thrusts up into your clothed core, looking for relief the Winter Soldier hasn't felt before. You scratch your nails down his back softly, whining as his bulge hits your clit.

Through a haze of desire, you hear Wanda's voice in your head, telling you she's ready. You release your hold on Winter's hair as you run your hand down his chest before cupping his hardness in your hand, making him growl with need as he pushes into your hand. "That's it kitten. Shit... after I cum in your hand, I'm going to make you scream with my cock," Winter whispers in your ear, making you even wetter.  

Your need to get Bucky back conflicts with your rising desire, but when you see Wanda in the corner of your eye, you know what you have to do. You kiss Winter hard, fighting your tongue with his before you pull back. You cup him hard, making him moan in pleasure before you grasp the syringe Wanda floats to you and inject the tranquillizer into his exposed neck, making the Winter Soldier grasp your hips for a second before he passes out.

It takes four men to carry Bucky to his bed. After Steve had hit the alarm, Tony and Bruce had gone searching for Scott and had managed to capture him before he could find a way out of the tower. When they looked through the security tapes, they saw Scott enter the gym and wake a sleeping Bucky before triggering him again. Tony had wanted to place Bucky in a cell, but you and Steve had managed to convince him that everyone would be safer if the rest of the tower couldn't get to him. 

Steve had his broken arm set in a cast during that time and was now napping on the couch in Bucky's lounge area while you slept next to the sleeping soldier. On the cameras, it showed that Bucky had been himself when he woke up after the first time he was triggered, so you had no doubt that he would be himself again soon. The injection Wanda had given you had been made by Bruce and was stronger than anything a normal human could withstand. However, with Bucky's fast metabolism, you had no idea how long he would be out.

Four hours later you wake to Bucky muttering in his sleep a look of terror on his face. He pulls you to him like you are his safety blanket in a world gone crazy.

 "No, no!" He shouts, his body shaking.

You try to wake him up softly, knowing how vulnerable you feel when you have a nightmare. Steve is in the doorway, seeing if you need assistance when Bucky's eyes shoot open and he releases his hold on you. His gaze is distant before he realises where he is. He glances at Steve before he groans and pinches his nose, lying on his back in the bed.

"Please tell me it was just a bad dream," he asks, eyes focused on the ceiling.

"Afraid not, punk," Steve says from the door.

Bucky sighs before he sits up, facing the two of you. His eyes scan your body before he moves to Steve and flinches at his cast. "Steve, I'm so sorry. Who else did I hurt?" He turns to you before he continues, "Are you alright doll?"

"I'm ok, Bucky. He didn't really hurt me..." You grasp his metal hand in comfort.

"I'm afraid you're going to have to be extra nice to Sam, he took the brunt of the soldier's attack. He has two broken ribs and a dislocated shoulder. He's got a bruised larynx from your vibranium arm too. He's in the cradle now, Dr. Cho says he should be out in 30 minutes. Wanda is under observation with a concussion."

Bucky's shoulders tense as he tries to process everything. "Fuck," he whispers to himself harshly, pinching the bridge of his nose before he faces Steve once again, "I'm so sorry, Stevie." 

"It wasn't you Buck. Wanda managed to contain you the first time. If it wasn't for Scott betraying us, this would never have happened again." Steve smiles down at you as you move closer to Bucky, wrapping your arms around his side before he picks you up and puts you in his lap. "I'll tell the others your back, Buck. I'm going to go sit with Sam, when you guys are caught up feel free to join me." He waves in greeting as he departs.

"I'm so sorry, kitten. I never wanted you to see me that way. I never wanted you to meet him." He pulls you to his chest, kissing you softly.

"It's ok, Bucky. He didn't really hurt me."

"Thank God for - wait," he pulls back and stares down at you, "I didn't really hurt you? So I did hurt you a bit?"

"I..." you want to spare him any more bad news but you know you can't lie to him. "When I injected him... he just gripped my hips a bit. Nothing major, I promise Bucky. I just have a bruise or two."

He leans his forehead against yours softly. "I'm so sorry doll. I'm so sorry for hurting you... and I'm so sorry that I forced you to... distract me in that way. I know after everything you've been through, being forced to play that role again must have been terrible. You must hate me now."

"What? No Bucky. You didn't force me into anything. I wanted to help you, I just wish that I didn't have to hurt you." You hold his face and lean in close. Blue eyes full of sorrow meet yours hesitantly. "I love you Bucky, and Winter is a part of you. There's no piece of you that I could ever hate."

Bucky's eyes widen in response as he grabs your waist once again. "Please, please... Say that again," he stares at you intensely, watching the expression on your face.

You giggle softly as you wrap your hands around his neck. "I love you Bucky, I love you so much!" 

His lips descend on yours, his kiss deep and demanding as he deepens the kiss, holding you to him. You run your fingers through his hair as you return the kiss.

Just when you feel you can't breathe anymore he pulls back. "I love you Y/N. God, I love you so fucking much. I'll rip the world to shreds to keep you safe if I have to."

This time you pull him closer, clutching at his hair and pulling him down to you, kissing him with everything you have. Reluctantly the two of you part, knowing you have to visit Sam before the night is through.

Bucky's flesh hand trembles as he enters the medical wing in the Tower, nervous at having to face the others. You grab his hand between the two of yours, doing your best to help him relax with a quick squeeze. With a quick smile in your direction, Bucky takes a deep breath before he faces Sam and Wanda.

"I'm so sorry you two," Bucky says as he faces the two of them. Sam is pale as he lies in a hospital bed, with Wanda and Steve in the seats next to him. Wanda has a huge bump on her head and seems exhausted. 

"Wanda, I-" Bucky starts to say but Wanda surprises him and runs to him to give him a hug. 

"You are not to blame for what he does, ok? I know how awful you feel, but we all know it wasn't you Bucky," Wanda says as she pulls back after a few seconds. 

When Bucky starts to argue, she interrupts him once again. "I don't want to hear any apologies, Sergeant. Even Sam agrees with me, right Sam?"

Wanda moves to Sam's side once again, waiting for him to answer.

"She's right you know, B. Even when the soldier was kicking my ass, I could see in his eyes that it wasn't you. The two of you are like opposites. He even fights more with his left arm while you usually prefer your dominant right side. He's like the evil mirror version of you." Sam's voice is hoarse and soft as he speaks, his throat still sensitive from being strangled half to death.

You and Bucky move closer to Sam. "I'm still so sorry Sam. You almost died."

"You don't need to apologise, Bucky. We're a family, and family sticks together right?" Sam's words cause Bucky's eyes to widen, they're shiny before he blinks away the unshed tears. The thought of Sam forgiving him so easily is difficult to accept but is also a huge relief.

"Yeah, Sam. Family sticks together." He glances at Steve and Wanda, "Till the end of the line," he whispers. He pulls you close as he kisses the top of your head, his smile beaming as he understands what it's like to have people care for him for the first time in seventy years.

Tag List:

@crazyunsexycool @morganmofresh @dottirose @cjand10 @buggy14

[gh0stlyfixation]

Winter

Part one

Paring Simon Riley x fem winter soldier reader, uses she/her, using Y/N.

Warnings: none? Let me know. May have put you inside of she/her in some spots haven't written like this in a while.

A/N: This is set after End Game, Nat and Steve are still around. This does not follow any of the MARVEL plot and it's move of a love story than action-packed. Not sure how this will play out, may be a mini series or another longer series if y’all like this part. This is just a test run really, so please let me know what y’all think.

Winter master list

“By the United Nations, we hereby pardon James Barnes and Y/N Y/L for all forced crimes committed. Both parties have agreed to court-mandated therapy and the court place of residence. James Barnes will reside in New York and Y/N Y/L will reside in her chosen place of Manchester England. Each party will be allowed to resume work with SHEILD, the newly founded organization after the HYDRA overthrow.”

That’s how she found herself here, alone in an unfamiliar town with unfamiliar faces. She hated it but as part of her pardon, she’ll stay as long as she needs to. She looks up at the three stories building full of apartments. She didn’t have much but the money the government gave her, would help. After all, they did provide a place to live with the necessities she needed.

“Door 102.” She says quietly to herself as she twists her head each way. Her eyes land on the number 102, she searches for her keys, and in the corner of her eye she sees a masked man doing the same with his door. She doesn’t question it though. The tenant told her of her neighbor, a masked man, quiet and reserved, in the army never really home much, but Jesus he could pick a better mask.

It didn’t help she was an ex-criminal, all her red alarms signaled in her brain, but she was able to ignore them. The words have been wiped from her memory, she now holds her notebook of herself in her bag so she can lock it away and never see it again. She realizes she’s been staring too long and mumbles a sorry to the man before hastily unlocking her door and shutting it.

The man recognizes her from the news he’s watched, an ex-criminal that was tortured and granted a pardon but also a hero who brought down Thanos. What in the hell is she doing here? Now that he was retiring, forcefully, medically discharged, he had nothing to do. The girl intrigued him, he wanted to know more about her kind, not that she’s a different species, just the serum and its effect, but he knew damn well that was classified and personal.

Simon showers and sits down on the couch and pulls his laptop out and sees if he can find any information on her, why is she here, this is creepy, he thinks, fuck what else can I do? He yells at himself but he continues to look her up.

The winter soldiers, James and Y/N have been pardoned following specific guidelines made by the United Nations. Those have been kept confidential but we are glad to see they are free as the crimes they have committed were forced by brainwashing, manipulation, and other tactics of fear. We know James “Bucky” Barnes was captured during World War Two and Y/N Y/L during the 50s, both in and out of a cryo freeze preserving their body’s as if they haven’t aged a day. Congratulations and may the rest of their lives be peaceful. A news person spoke.

Simon scoffed, her life will never be peaceful, she’s been through hell and back. He doesn’t know what to expect of his new neighbor, the last ones were quiet, and he hopes she will be too. He knows the walls are thin so when he hears the phone ring he thinks it’s his, but stops when his phone doesn’t light up.

“Hello?” her voice spoke, it was on edge, “I’m fine Fury. I'm supposed to be at the base tomorrow morning to meet Natasha … yes, thank you for letting her come, it certainly makes things easier for me … Fury? Really?” He hears the slight humor in her voice but knows that her face is stoic, it had to be. “We’ll tell Steve and Bucky that I’m fine and to stop worrying. They can call me a whine..” You grumbled, “okay bye.”

Fuck these walls need to be thicker, Simon thinks. What base is she talking about. It certainly isn’t the British base. Is there a SHEILD base? There was, about 20 minutes from here know that he remembers.

She glances around her apartment, it’s furnished, at least. Needs a few decorations. Maybe Nat can help with that, not now though I need to sleep, it’s late. She wonders to the bedroom and thank the heavens there were sheets and a comforter. After changing into a pair of leggings and a t-shirt she hops in and quickly falls asleep.

Simon sat in the quiet reading a book he picked up from the shelf, this shit is boring, he says to himself. That’s when he hears faint quiet screams, mumbled almost. His ears start to perk up and realizes it’s the new neighbor. Fuck these thin walls! Something could be wrong. Simon argues with himself but when the noise starts getting louder he runs to her door and knocks, but no answer. He twists the knob and thankfully it opens, she needs to fucking lock her door, what is she stupid?

No, because she can kill someone in point two seconds. But he runs to the screams and finds her sweating in her bed. A night terror. He knows how to wake one up properly without a fight or struggle, he nudges her arm hard a few times then lightly once she starts to calm down, “wha-what- who are you?” She scrambles to her feet, pissed that she let her skills out the window. She tugs down her sleeve and Simon sees metal flash by her now covered hand.

“You had a night terror. The walls are thin and the door was unlocked. I’m your neighbor Simon.” His voice was soft and deep.

She stands there for a moment, embarrassed at herself. “I’m sorry.” she tells him

“It’s no problem, um, I have them too. I'm ex-military. It happens.” He says, trying to relate himself to her.

“Oh, well maybe we can help each other then.” she shyly says. What the fuck is wrong with you! Why are you getting shy? She yells at herself. Simon smiles slightly under his mask, she doesn’t notice though, “you know when we start to scream? So we don’t wake the rest of the building.” She explained clasping her hands together in front of her.

Simon looks up at her and nods, “it’s probably best. Do you have an extra key?” He asked. She nods and looks for it on her nightstand that she threw her wallet and essentials in. She hands it over to Simon and he takes it in his hand. He pulls out his ring of keys and picks off the extra key to his door and hands it to her.

Ig’s silent for a moment but you sit back down on your bed. Does he know who I are? Who doesn’t, I’m all over the news. “Do you know who I am?” she quietly ask. She needed to know.

He looks into her eyes, “You're Y/N. I’ve heard about you.” He tells her honestly.

“Are you scared of me?” She thinks it’s a ridiculous question,

“What they say on the news, what your crimes were, what your capable of, doesn’t make you who you are. We both killed hundreds, but it doesn’t make us who we are. You’ve saved the world, give yourself the credit for that.” Simon tells her.

Who knew i’d be getting a pep talk from a stranger. You think. “You don’t know me though, what the news says, you don’t know the half of what I’ve done. I’m dangerous. Unpredictable.” She say.

He does not doubt that she's dangerous and unpredictable, he doesn’t know her and she’s right. “Well now that we’re neighbors and I no longer have a life, I hope to get to know you. Your the only interesting person around here anyways, besides that old man who’s constantly screaming at the kids down the hall.” Simon tells her.

“What? Don’t have any friends?” she tease, your face still stoic.

He rolls his eyes and gets up. “Go back to sleep.” He walks out the door back to his apartment, what the fuck was this feeling? Happiness? No, I rarely feel that. Is he a friend now? Fuck. What the fuck?

[silvyysthings]

My working theory on 🦎 posting outfits that resemble Timothée’s recent choices is that she has a thing for Timothée. As in she wanted a little sugar and he turned her down, perhaps her even offering sugar three ways. And now it’s like when a guy meets the ex (other guy) of his current boyfriend or meets the current boyfriend (other guy) of his ex-boyfriend and the guy changes gyms or starts shopping where the other guy shops/works because the guy is obsessed in hopes they hook up. And for you straight people, it’s sort of like the twisted behavior of Carrie (🦎), Mr. Big (Armie) and Natasha (Timothée) from ‘Sex & the City’. There is an obsessive behavior that probably stems from rejection and now it’s all “Hey, look at me!” and “What do you have to offer?” through her online posts. Or, 🦎 is simply another kind of crazy. 

[iriel3000]

2015 Friday Recs - Week 3

Happy Friday! Some reading recommendations for your enjoyment. No particular order and more to come.

Let's focus on the positive. What was your favorite Clintasha moment in Age of Ultron?

Me: Clint distressed over Nat's disappearance and him explaining how he was going to have to teach the twins 'some manners'.

Compromised by evieeden

Clint received just one message: to get out. Shield had been compromised.

Criminal by ShunKickShunKers

If you asked her, Natasha would say Steve Rogers was a good man, but his priorities tended to mix up. So when a series of murders concerning a former army strike team arise, and Natasha has to partner with her ex-husband to find the killer, she is NOT pleased.

The Name's Brandt (I'm sorry, I meant Barton) by orphan_account

Clint Barton aka Hawkeye had gone under cover into (Impossible Mission Force) as Field Agent turned Analyst William Brandt. He'd been there for six months and was working with Ethan Hunt's team that consisted of Benjamin 'Benji' Dunn, Jane Carter and of course Ethan Hunt and he was actually liking it there. Until one mission told him it was time to come home, whether the mission was over or not.

He Made a Different Call by andrastesgrace (emmijadeshow), gallifreyslostson

Agent Barton deals with the fallout of his failed assassination of the notorious Black Widow

Loop by Arukou

The hand-cuff winks at Natasha, laughs at her. Even free of the Red Room, she's not free of it.

Agony by OkayLetsObsess

Clintasha fic in which things get steamy quickly.

If you are one of the authors or know them on tumblr and they are not properly tagged, please let me know in comments and I'll add them. Also, feel free to browse other categories, click the Iriel3000fridays recs link below.

[multiverseofseries]

Ahsoka: Star Wars torna a splendere su Disney+

L'hype può essere uno strumento incredibilmente pericoloso, in particolar modo quando ci si confronta con franchise od in generale realtà dalla lunga storia. Prendiamo ad esempio la Marvel, post-Endgame, diversi aspetti relativi al Multiverso - come abbia realmente avuto inizio, quali siano le reali conseguenze e dove prima o poi sfoceranno - stiano creando una confusione terrificante per i fan, che quasi ad ogni nuovo film o serie tv vengono introdotti a regole e funzionamenti piuttosto in contrasto tra di loro. Dopo la saga dell'Infinito, quanta attesa c'era per il prossimo grande arco? Dopo Thanos, quanta spasmodica voglia di ammirare l'inedito villain? Che spada di Damocle graverà sulla testa di The Kang Dynasty e Secret Wars, dopo Infinity War ed Endgame? Star Wars non è in una situazione tanto differente.

E dunque è comprensibile perché Andor abbia avuto l'incredibile successo di critica ma anche di pubblico che ha avuto, in fondo nessuno si aspettava chissà cosa da uno spin-off prequel di Rogue One. Che Ahsoka sia riuscita ad offrire un livello qualitativo molto simile con le enormi aspettative della fanbase è, invece, un capolavoro targato Lucasfilm ancora superiore ed una commovente dimostrazione di cosa possa essere Star Wars a quasi 50 anni da Una Nuova Speranza.

Far, far away…

Cerchiamo però di ricapitolare brevemente dove si colloca questa serie e cosa vuole raccontare: ambientata dopo gli eventi della terza stagione di The Mandalorian e prendendo tuttavia inizio dal quinto episodio della sua seconda stagione (che a questo punto possiamo considerare un vero backdoor pilot), Ahsoka narra le gesta dell'omonima protagonista (Rosario Dawson) mentre cerca di capire dove sia finito il Grand'Ammiraglio Thrawn (un perfetto Lars Mikkelsen), dopo aver sentito voci di un suo possibile ritorno nella galassia come erede dell'Impero, e di conseguenza anche lo scomparso Ezra (Eman Esfandi).

In The Mandalorian l'avevamo vista alle prese con Morgan Elsbeth (Diana Lee Inosanto), alleata chiave di Thrawn, e qui veniamo a scoprire l'esistenza di una mappa che indica la posizione proprio del Chiss dagli occhi fiammeggianti, ma per aprirla avrà bisogno dell'aiuto della sua ex-apprendista Sabine (Natasha Liu Bordizzo) e presto scoprirà di non essere la sola interessata a questa ricerca. Ora, credo sinceramente sia il caso di indicare subito l'elefante nella stanza, reso già evidente da questa semplice sinossi, ovvero che Ahsoka non è una serie aperta a tutti. Con ciò intendo che pezzi fondamentali della sua trama nonché le caratterizzazioni, i rapporti e i comportamenti della maggior parte dei personaggi non sono purtroppo accessibili a chi non ha visto determinate produzioni. Dispiace, eppure non c'è modo di addolcire la pillola in quanto la serie non fa assolutamente nulla per colmare simili mancanze come ad esempio faceva The Mandalorian.

E forse Filoni e soci non hanno neppure tutti i torti, perché sarebbe stato impossibile inserire qualche dialogo chiarificatore riguardo personaggi dalla storia su schermo tanto lunga. Insomma, è necessaria la conoscenza pregressa di alcuni archi di The Clone Wars e della quasi interezza di Rebels, altrimenti proprio sul piano narrativo ed emotivo la serie rischia di non trasmettervi nulla. Ma, una volta scansata tale problematica, com'è Ahsoka?: Ahsoka è Star Wars al 100%, che non ha paura di usare le sue armi migliori e soprattutto non teme di espandere la lore di un franchise monumentale.

È una serie che catapulta lo spettatore immediatamente al centro dell'azione - proprio perché è una continuazione diretta e come tale non necessita di un prologo - e, escluse alcune pause a dir poco clamorose, non si ferma mai fino all'ultimo minuto disponibile. Però paradossalmente la narrativa è forse la componente meno importante, d'altronde non è altro che una lunga missione di ricerca e/o salvataggio, una sfrenata corsa contro il tempo dalle poste in gioco estremamente alte e delicate. Narrativamente non c'è altro - se non giusto qualcosina di intrigante sul finale - e perciò le luci della ribalta vengono occupate dai protagonisti, che bucano in continuazione lo schermo.

Il vero show

Rosario Dawson, Natasha Liu Bordizzo, Eman Esfandi, Mary Elizabeth Winstead - che interpreta Hera Syndulla - e Lars Mikkelsen sono stati semplicemente straordinari nel dare vita, dalle movenze ai modi di parlare, a personaggi preesistenti, a catturare perfettamente le loro peculiarità, che sia la giovialità in qualunque situazione di Ezra o la sfacciataggine di Hera. Così come sono stati clamorosi il compianto Ray Stevenson e Ivana Sakhno nei panni di due Jedi Oscuri, delle new entry tra le più interessanti in Star Wars nell'ultimo decennio. Sono letteralmente loro a fare lo show: il rapporto complesso tra Ahsoka e Sabine e, di riflesso, quello tra la Togruta e il suo vecchio maestro Anakin, l'irraggiungibile carisma e freddezza spietata e calcolatrice di Thrawn predominante in ogni scena che lo vede presente, i dilemmi morali che il ritrovamento di Ezra comporta, la disturbante aura di magia sinistra intorno alle Sorelle della Notte, la dialettica maestro-allievo presente anche in Baylan Skoll e Shin; Ahsoka esegue magistralmente tutti questi punti, inondando lo spettatore con un maremoto continuo di misteri, emozioni, sorprese.

Un risultato stupendo esaltato infine da delle sequenze d'azione - come in Andor e in The Mandalorian, - ben realizzate, tra cui uno scontro tra astronavi in volo che non si conclude in 10 secondi o finisce per diventare un amalgama indistinto di laser ed esplosioni casuali. Se c'è da trovare un difetto nella nuova serie Star Wars, è la sua natura di ponte perlomeno in questa prima stagione, perchè in fondo non è altro che un ulteriore passaggio verso il film crossover che intende realizzare Filoni. Con un'ipotetica seconda stagione, però, le potenzialità di espandere il materiale di base sarebbe meravigliosamente infinite.

[olsenmyolsen]

Chapter One: A Piece of Paper

The Farmer's Daughter - (A WandaNat Story)

Masterlist

Summary: Free of the military, Natasha Romanoff leaves with no destination in mind.

Word Count: 1K

Content: Just fluff, Clint being a dad,

"You know you didn't have to come all the way down here for this? We would've mailed it."

Natasha Romanoff walks up to the base commander's desk and takes a piece of paper from his right hand.

"Yeah, I did." She smirked before bringing her green eyes up from the piece of paper to Nicolas Fury's one eye. He smiles. "The second the paper hits your hand, and I'm no longer called Sir?"

Natasha straightens her body out and slams her legs together before saluting Fury. "Sir, yes, sir."

Fury stands up from his old wooden wheelie chair and salutes his favorite soldier. "At ease." Natasha's hand fly down to her side. Nicolas watched and smiled once again. "I'm gonna miss you, Romanoff." He sticks his hand out.

Natasha looks down in shock.

A handshake from Nick Fury was rare.

But she should've expected it, especially on her last day. After all, he was a father figure in some small way to her.

Whether she'd ever believe it or not.

Her hand met his in the middle. "You too, Sir. It's been an honor to serve my country with leaders like you." Fury rolls his eye at that.

"You didn't serve no country." He said, making Natasha tilt her head. "Sir?" Their hands separated. "What you did was save your brothers and sisters. Anyone could've done what you did. Anyone could've been the Grenadier or Lancer. The second in command. Yet your squad would be lesser because of it. No one could ever be you, Romanoff." He looked Natasha up and down as she wore her uniform for the final time. He gave a smile that turned sad. "Even if it costed you."

Natasha gave a flat smile and nodded. Her body was scarred physically and mentally. Her eyes found the paper in her left hand again. "Well, according to this, my work was honorable."

Fury laughed. "Yes, it fucking was." Natasha laughed as Fury came around his desk. "Come on. Let's get you going."

As Natasha and Fury walked out from his office on base, they were stopped multiple times for goodbyes and salutes.

This was all bittersweet to Natasha as this was all she had ever known for the last eight plus years. But this was the next step for her. Her body and mind knew it, and she needed to live for herself for once. So, as she walked up to the exit gate with glossy eyes, she saw her best friend, Clint Barton.

"Bout time they kicked you out." He joked with a huge smile as his eyes drifted to the man next to Natasha. "Sir," he stood up and saluted. Fury dismissed him and stepped back to let the two have their moment.

Natasha shook her head to Clint. "Wasn't too sure they would." Clint smiled. "Seemed to think so last night." Natasha's smile slightly faded as she remembered how she and Clint spoke about the bare future Natasha had planned for herself. She has no solid family anymore. No real home. No friends outside of the base that she still spoke to regularly. But she told Clint that this was right. Her leaving now was better than her dying overseas. "Yeah..." She nodded as she picked up her brown leather duffle bag that rested by his feet. "Thanks for watching this."

Clint noticed the way her body expression changed.

His skills outside of combat were just as worthy of the nickname given to him by his peers: Hawkeye.

"Come here." The man opened his arms and wrapped them around Natasha as her head hit his shoulder. She accepted the hug and didn't cry as she let him go for however long it would be until she saw him again.

"Oh, by the way!" Clint changed the topic after another minute of small talk. "I had Hill bring your bike around." Natasha's eyes looked to where Clint pointed, and her cheeks lifted from her smile. "Don't have to Uber to a motel or wherever the hell you're going since you don't wanna stay with Laura and the kids." Natasha shook her head. Clint had a wife and two kids.

"Yeah, Fury and I had Hill take her in to get repairs and whatever else needed to be done. I mean, jeez Nat, it's been like three years, four years, since you last rode it?"

"Two tours ago." Natasha looked back and answered. "Damn," Clint mumbled as Natasha looked back to the bike. "Thank you." She spoke before turning to Fury. "Thank you, too." He waved her off. "You thank me for anything, and I'll tear up that paper in your hands." Clint laughed, and Natasha rolled her eyes and turned around.

"Keys in the seat?" She asked Clint. "Just like in Budapest."

Natasha didn't look amused. "Next time I see you, please say it right." Clint laughed as he and Fury watched Natasha walk away without another goodbye. "Yeah, I'll make sure of that when you make it a mile on that bike. It's been four years, Nat!" He spoke louder as Natasha was further away.

She shrugged and flipped the seat up to reveal her keys before grabbing the helmet off the handlebars. "Can't be that hard." She yelled back as her legs wrapped around the brown seat.

"And why is that?" Clint's question was muffled in her helmet. But she turned towards him as the key went into the ignition.

"Because it's just like riding a bike." She pulled her visor down and pushed the red button, making herself scarce before Clint could argue back.

"Budapesht." He mumbled.

dividers by @/benkeibear

[obetrolncocktails]

Testing testing 123, is this on……

What are some thoughts on STT? How does it compare to MTM? in your wise opinion.

Alright get ready--music degree Anna is about to GO OFF!

First of all, I really like this track--The isolated drum introduction is something we haven't really seen from GVF, and it's almost too long (a good thing), which teases us into the song itself. As much as we hate to admit it, this is almost a dead ringer for the start of "When the Levee Breaks", and I think it's 100% intentional.

I really enjoy the melody, and it feels like a continuation of Age of Machine. I enjoy the mystical effect that this song has...I keep imagining medieval knights pulling on their armor and suiting up for battle...I imagine armored stallions with intricate fabric banners fastened over their bodies with the symbol of the kingdom/army as they ready to carry their owner into battle. The graphic on the Spotify and YouTube releases of the song include a graphic that seems somewhat medieval...the picture looks like some kind of castle/fortress/colliseum...

READ MORE IF YOU'RE INTERESTED!

My personal interpretation is that this song is about releasing all inhibitions (Not Natasha Bedingfield hehehe) and letting fate decide the outcome of some great endeavor...This song feels resigned to a belief that there is something better, something beyond explanation outside the bonds of earth "I've caught the wind in a kite of dreams, and a flight of seams..." It's giving me a "What was once broken will be mended" vibe.

Let's talk about the music...

I have heard a lot of polarized opinions about this single so far...fans either love or hate the mixing and mastering of it. I really like the reverb and room-distortion sound that they put on Josh's vocals, BUT, I think it would have been even better if we would have had some moments in the song where this effect were stripped back a little bit. With that being said, I LOVE the sound of this effect on his voice, particularly when he sings the word "Unravelled." It adds such a raw, honest sound to the vocal, and I love how it sounds against his vibrato.

I love the robust, consistent sound of the drums, and with Sam's basic, but vital baseline, the rhythm section provides the support for the rest of the band.

I've seen talk of missing a guitar solo from Jake, but I can almost guarantee one will be inserted on live performances...I love the lighter falsetto adlibs of josh's--they add to the ethereal quality of the song!

Another thing I have noticed is that these songs sound far more repetitive and relaxed than those on TBAGG. I don't mean this in a negative way, but there is a somewhat sedate, resigned quality to these first two singles...I'm itching for that garage-rock sound that they were hinting at initially.

My assumption is that they are releasing these singles to drum up excitement without revealing the other aces up their sleeve. I know damn well that Jake wouldn't approve an album without some damn good guitar solos...

Further thought, and now that I'm thinking about it, these newest singles feel less like a collection of cinematic scenes...

Let's take WOD for a second...that entire song feels like a journey, and much of that is because of the lyricism, but also in the way that the music is composed...the music itself was written in a big ABA form. We're introduced to the versus and chorus, the huge guitar solo section serves as a B, and then josh comes back in with the initial chorus again with a classical guitar tag at the end to round the song out.

In Sacred the Thread and Meeting the Master, the boys play more with dynamics (how loud and soft they play, the style, etc). Also, we are used to lengthy bridges that usually include a solo from Jake that brings forth so much rising tension, pulling the audience along for the ride, but the bridges in these two solos are either of existing material or of a single repetitive phrase (ex. "Blow it up to give him all of our love" in MTM).

Overall, I am curious to see what the rest of the album brings forth...this is a new sound from GVF and I am beyond excited to hear more!

[autumnwoodsdreamer]

WiP Wednesday

This is the beginnings of a oneshot, filling an anon request (I’m getting to it! Slowly but surely!) I’ll post the request when I’ve got the whole thing written ;)

. . . . .

It was a dumb idea.

Getting the kid to tail her.

What was he thinking? This wasn’t some freah-off-the-line hack who didn’t know how to look over their shoulder without looking like a deer in the headlights. This was Natasha freakin’ Romanov: if she couldn’t claim to have invented the spy genre, she had definitely perfected it.

But he was desperate.

And Pete was worried about her, too.

“Something’s up with her, Mr Stark,” he had said, just that morning. “She missed training yesterday, and when I asked her about it, she told me she forgot. Mr Stark, Miss Romanov never forgets anything.”

Tony suggested the tailing as a throwaway joke, just something to soften the concern pulling out the kid’s puppy eyes. As he said it, though, it sounded with the ring of a very possible idea.

So, here he was, one rough plan later, sitting at a desk in his workshop, eyes glued to a screen showing Peter’s current position as a blinking red dot (with angular little spider legs—the kid had added that, when, Tony didn’t actually know). Through his headset, he communicated with Peter, talking to him, mostly listening to him narrate his every move.

The kid was enjoying it. He felt useful and trusted, and he was having fun spying on an actual spy.

Tony followed his trail carefully, calculating every possibility of where any road could take him. If Natasha’s trail led anywhere dangerous—into dark corners of the city or near any known criminal hangouts or potential rendezvous locations—he would call off this little endeavour (and he had made the kid swear to listen to him without hesitation or, so help him, he would send a suit to drag him back to the compound by the scruff of his neck).

He didn’t think there would be anything too much to worry about, but he knew… well, he knew Natasha. There had been times when she had tread off the straight and narrow, had gone where no one who wanted to sleep at night dared to even glance at, all to get a job—necessary but no less unsavoury—done.

He would be relieved at the end of this, he kept telling himself. He would learn that her absentminded moments were just a side-effect of spending mental and physical energy on some mission Fury had slipped her—“unofficially” because that was the only way he and whatever remained of SHIELD operated these strange, broken days.

This wasn’t some exercise to assuage Peter’s worries. He, Tony, was worried; had been for a while.

He couldn’t trace when he had begun worrying about Natasha exactly.

There was natural concern when he first met her, as Natalie: she was, as he then believed, a nice, normal person, and association with him—especially at that time in his chaotic life—came with risks to anyone in his vicinity (even ones who could bodily flip ex-boxers). Those waves of concern died flat when he saw her in that SHIELD uniform, the signature eagle emblazoned on her.

During the Battle of New York, his mind drifted to her a few times. She was one of the non-powered, unarmoured humans on the team: it was natural to worry about her when there was an army of murderous aliens pouring from a black hole in the sky. (He hadn’t forgotten that jagged jolt of anxiety that split through his veins when he saw her riding one of the Chitauri’s crafts, her back completely unprotected…)

After that, the missions the team shared, even the ones she skipped out on, always somewhere else, doing something else… there was a part of him that had begun to wonder, every time he saw her just come strolling through the tower at random, if this would be the last time he ever saw her, if the next call from Fury would be to inform them that their resident superspy had met her tragic end, somewhere classified, doing something classified.

It came out in bitterness sometimes, in snarky little remarks.

Look who decided to show up.

Ah, so you do remember where we live.

Are you an Avenger today? Or a SHIELD agent? I can never tell.

It came out in sentiments, always couched with nonchalance.

Please tell me that’s someone being fashionably late?

You come back in one piece: there’s only one Black Widow, after all.

Don’t get killed out there.

He just… wasn’t sure when all those discordant flashes of concern had shifted from idle and transitory to this near constant knot in his chest.

[coffee-n-bagels-comic-universe]

[Sneakers] Phreaks Bios: Helena 'Troy' Green

Nicknamed 'Troy' after Helen of Troy, 'Troy' is an expert with blueprints and an Ex-Army Medic who was dishonourably discharged for hacking into classified files and finding out information she should not have read.

"Classified? Give me a real reason why nobody's allowed to read it."

Name

Full Legal Name: Helena Selene Green

First Name: Helena

Meaning: Latinate form of 'Helen', the English form of the Greek 'Helene', probably from Greek 'Helene' meaning 'Torch' or 'Corposant'.

Pronunciation: HEHL-e-na

Origin: Ancient Greek, Catalan, Croatian, Czech, Danish, Dutch, English, Estonian, Finnish, German, Greek Mythology, Icelandic, Norwegian, Polish, Portuguese, Slovak, Slovene, Sorbian, Swedish

Middle Name: Selene

Meaning: Means 'Moon' in Greek.

Pronunciation: si-LEE-nee

Origin: Greek Mythology

Surname: Green

Meaning: From the colour Green.

Pronunciation: GREEN

Origin: English

Titles: Miss

Nicknames: Troy, Lena

Characteristics

Age: 37

Gender: Female. She/Her Pronouns

Race: Human

Nationality: American

Ethnicity: African-American

Birth Date: 13th September 1955

Sexuality: Straight

Religion: Christian

Native Language: English

Known Languages: English, Spanish, American Sign Language

Relationship Status: Engaged

Astrological Sign: Virgo

Actor: Whoopi Goldberg

Appearance

Height: 5'5"/ 165 cm

Eye Colour: Brown

Hair Colour: Black

Hair Dye: None

Facial Hair: N/A

Tattoos: (As of Jan 1992) 8

Piercings: Ear Lobes (Both)

Scars: None

Health and Fitness

Allergies: None

Alcoholic, Smoker, Drug User: Social Drinker

Illnesses/Disorders: None Diagnosed

Medications: None

Any Specific Diet: None

Relationships

Friends: Wendy Quinn, Natasha Mussolini, Fang Tian, Spirit Norling, Jesse Haley

Significant Other: Wilson Barna (40, Fiancé)

Previous Partners: None of Note

Parents: Alexander Green (67, Father), Hera Green (63, Mother, Née Gray)

Parents-In-Law: None

Siblings: Daphne Reed (43, Sister, Née Green), Simon Green (40, Brother)

Siblings-In-Law: Phineus Reed (47, Daphne's Husband), Nieobe Green (44, Simon's Wife, Née Silver)

Nieces & Nephews: Nestor Reed (23, Nephew), Melissa Reed (37, Nestor's Wife, Née Brown), Medea Green (30, Niece), Philander Green (17, Nephew)

Children: None

[runesandramblings]

"To The Ends of The Earth"

Hello all,

I have not written anything on here in a while, but I had this idea after a dream and couldn't let it go.

I'll make a separate short informational post on the premise of the story / explain the OC I created for it after this, so if you're seeing this click over to my page for that. :)

Word Count: TBD / ongoing

Content Warnings: none, follows the events from The Hobbit so there will be the expected violence from the movies

Pairings: KilixOC

Themes: crossover Marvel x Tolkien, romance, fanfic, canon-ish events

Summary:

In the wake of The Blip, the multi-verse has expanded knowledge of the universe in ways no one thought possible. For the first time, journeying between realms and realities is a tangible possibility.

Ex-SHIELD agent and Avenger, Lilith Lenore, is hiding from her past, shunning the life she once led. But when an offer from a wizard of another world is extended, she cannot refuse.

Chapter 1: An Unexpected Guest

FLAG SMASHERS CONTINUE RAMPAGE ACROSS EUROPE

I pulled the edges of my hood down lower over my eyes as I skimmed the headline. It caught my eye, the big bold lettering with a photo of the Flag Smasher's emblem directly beneath. No matter where I went, I couldn't seem to escape the life I was desperately trying to leave behind. 

"Ma'am?" 

An impatient male voice broke through my reverie. I looked up to see the man behind the window of the food truck, tapping his fingers impatiently, watching me as I zoned out. 

"Oh, sorry." I apologized and stepped up to the counter. I gestured to the item on the menu I'd had my eye on and handed him a few bills. "I don't need any change." 

"Did you want a paper too?" He questioned, noting what had sidetracked me. 

I shook my head. "No, thank you." I mumbled, still feeling my attention wandering elsewhere. 

I was aware that Bucky and Sam were currently in pursuit of the Flag Smashers, wherever that was exactly. They had reached out to me several weeks prior, begging me to come meet them to assist in tracking down the rebels. 

"It would be just like old times." Sam joked over the phone, referencing our time together as fugitives before The Blip. Before we'd lost Steve. Before we really knew just how much loss we would experience. 

"Consider me officially retired from the whole hero gig." I'd joked, before wishing them luck on their mission.

"Here you go." The gentleman behind the window handed me a brown paper bag and a couple of napkins, snapping me back to reality once again. "Stay dry out there."

I smiled gratefully as I took the bag and slipped it into my backpack, before dipping back out onto the street. Despite the hood pulled up over my forehead I could still feel cold droplets of rain pelting me through the fabric. Another freezing, dismal day. 

After the last showdown with Thanos I had decided to slip quietly away and make myself disappear. New York was too hectic, and too full of memories. People who recognized me as a hero or, after Natasha dumped SHIELD secrets for all to see, people who despised me for my past. I don't know why Seattle had come to mind. Perhaps because it was on the opposite coast, as far away from New York City as one could reasonably get without leaving the States. 

The walk sign blinked green and I darted across the road. I desperately tried to think of something, anything else as I followed the familiar route back to my apartment. My thoughts kept drifting back, all the way back to that first battle. My first time meeting the rest of who would become the Avengers. My family. That life...it felt like a thousand years ago. Sometimes I missed it. But most of the time, well. I valued my sanity. After being attacked by alien armies, maniacal robots, other heroes, and a madman with a dream to wipe out half of life as we knew it, I think it was fair that I'd cashed in an early retirement. 

I was a lesser known part of the Avengers, but nevertheless I'd been there for every world shattering, life altering event. The Chitauri in New York, Ultron, Thanos, the Blip... I'd been there to help save the day every time. I didn't have a fancy title, and I rarely made the headlines as Steve and Tony did. I liked it that way. Much like Natasha, I had a sordid past that I much preferred to keep in the shadows. 

**

I took my hood down and shook my hair free as I stepped through the door of my building. I heard the rain pick up outside, immediately grateful for the shelter as raindrops splashed against the glass panes surrounding the foyer. It was a simple building, certainly nothing to be ashamed of. But nothing to put in Better Homes & Gardens either. The building itself was small, a simple brick structure only three stories high with about six units on each level. The foyer I was standing in had only one set of doors going in or out, which had to be some kind of fire hazard. There was a staircase centered in the middle of the room with an aging wood bannister that worked itself loose every so often. At least once a month you'd find a maintenance man at work, securing it back in place. There were tattered, green carpet scraps glued in pieces to each step. The building mainly housed the elderly, and after several slip complaints the building owner had sloppily laid the carpet down as a preventative measure. Although now the pieces were beginning to fray and come unglued on the edges, which presented a new hazard all its own.

"Well, hello Samantha."

I smiled warmly as a small, slightly hunched woman with almost white hair hobbled down the last few steps into the tiny lobby. She wore a faded black skirt and a green wool sweater draped loosely across her shoulders, as though she'd been in a rush to get out the door and didn't have time to put it all the way on. The bedroom slippers she wore were mismatched, one a navy blue with white fur poking around the top, and the other a bright pink. She shuffled across the floor towards me, offering a kind smile in return. 

I felt a slight pang of guilt at her mention of my alias. It was a necessary precaution to live the quiet life I desired, but I couldn't help but feel as though I were deceiving the kind old woman. She'd taken me in from the moment I'd moved into the building nearly a year before. She'd noticed the lack of friends or relatives coming to visit after the first few weeks and made it a point to knock on my door at least once a week and invite me over for dinner. Weekly dinners eventually led to shared holidays, joint grocery trips, and almost nightly conversations over tea. She had lost her only daughter and husband to an accident in her 40s and never remarried or had any more children. I think our relationship became therapeutic to her. We were the family that neither of us had.

"Hi Mrs. Figueroa, you aren't going out into that are you?" I questioned, gesturing to the storm raging outside. 

She shook her head as she slowly began to shuffle past me. I kept a watchful eye on her feet as she moved. The cheap linoleum tiles had begun to peel up from the floor, and there were several upturned corners that presented a tripping hazard for the elderly building occupants. 

"Oh no, not today. Just heading down to the laundry." She began to hobble past me to the second, very steep set of stairs in the far corner of the room that led down into the basement. 

I immediately caught up to her and offered my arm. Her warm smile grew as she laced her thin, delicate arm through mine. I felt another small pang of guilt. She reminded me so much of my dear, sweet grandmother. The one I had... 

I shook my head again. Not right now.

"Are you sure you should be going into the basement by yourself? I can take your clothes out and bring them up to you when we have tea later." I offered. 

Mrs. Figueroa shook her head. "No thank you, sweetheart. I appreciate the thought, but chores keep me limber." She patted my hand as she released my arm and grasped the railing that led into the basement. "My door will be unlocked, so just pop in whenever!" She called over her shoulder as she descended into the darkness. 

I stood at threshold and listened as she moved slowly down the stairs, ensuring she hadn't fallen before crossing the room and skipping up the main staircase to the third floor. I walked down the hall and stopped before the very last door at the end. I glanced around at the neighboring units as I pulled my key from the side pocket of my backpack. My apartment was easily distinguishable from the ones around me, even if it didn't have my unit number, 3F, slapped lazily in the center with black vinyl letters. Mine was the only one without some semblance of the life that existed inside: no welcome mat, no wreath. The only evidence there was an occupant living within its walls was my constant presence going in and out on a daily basis. As I started to slip my key into the lock, I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand straight up.

 Something was wrong. 

I held my breath and pressed my ear lightly to the door. I closed my eyes and willed my ears to listen closer, flexing that ability I hadn't had to access in ages. My eyes flew open as I heard breathing, and a light shuffling coming from the other side of the door. Sounds that would not have been perceptible to average human ears. 

Someone was inside. 

I tiptoed backward, bringing my weight down lightly on the balls of my feet to avoid putting too much weight on the creaky floorboards. I could only hope whoever, or whatever, was inside didn't possess the same heightened senses I did. Hopefully they had not heard my approach. 

I jogged lightly back down the stairs and across the foyer, throwing open the front door to my building and pulling my hood back up to protect against the pelting rain that had increased in ferocity since I'd entered the building five minutes before. I rounded the corner and approached the backside of the building. My apartment only had one door, but my bedroom had a small balcony with a set of rickety old French doors that I rarely bolted shut. I was on the highest floor, and routinely locked myself out. It seemed a worthwhile risk to leave myself an alternate entrance for those occasions. I wasn't too worried about an intruder scaling three stories to break in. 

I glanced around to make sure no one was watching before I began the ascent. Although I was not necessarily in hiding, I still didn't want to draw attention to myself. I leapt with ease and felt my hands latch onto the railing around the second floor balcony, the one down and to the left of my own apartment. I swung myself up with ease and perched lightly on the rail for a moment before turning and leaping again, catching the edge of my own balcony and flipping myself with ease a second time to land squarely in the center of my porch. I grimaced as I felt the boards give slightly under my weight, hoping the noise had not alerted the intruder to my presence. 

I held my breath and slowly turned the handle, praying for silence from the old door hinges. I reached down and lifted up the hem of my jeans, my fingers grasping the familiar blade I kept tucked into my boot at all times. I slipped it out and grasped it firmly in my palm as I poked my head just inside the double doors. My bedroom appeared just as I left it an hour earlier. The same faded, red painted walls with the previous occupants nail holes still speckled around at random intervals. The floor was still bare, the same unpolished hardwood with small flecks of that red paint on it from the landlords sloppy paint job from who knew how long ago. The queen sized mattress on the floor, I hadn't bothered to find a frame or boxspring even, pushed up against the far left wall. It was unmade from that morning, a mismatched comforter and sheet set crumpled at the foot of the bed. On the opposite wall rested the only other items in the room: a scuffed oak dresser with a tiny TV on top. I didn't know why I had a TV; I didn't even have internet. It was easy enough to sign a lease under my fake ID, but I worried about pushing it too far by setting up services under the name. I didn't want to draw attention to myself.

I slipped silently across the floor, moving with a cat-like agility despite the loose boards that threatened to creak at any moment. It was amazing how quickly I could slip back into this headspace. How fast I could revert back to Lilith, the spy. Not Samantha, the simple girl next door alias I'd assumed.  

I paused as I reached the bedroom door. I hadn't quite thought ahead to what I would do once I made it this far. Aside from the blade, the only other weapon in my apartment was a gun hidden in an air vent beside the sofa. I reached for the knob before hesitating again. What were the odds this intruder was not merely a burglar or peeping Tom? Was it possible someone from my past had tracked me down? I'd been pardoned for my involvement, or non involvement, with the Accords shortly after The Blip. But that wasn't necessarily the past I was worried about coming back to haunt me.

I grasped the doorknob firmly in my free hand and repositioned the knife in my other. Whatever the intruders intentions, it did no good to sit here weighing the options. Either it was someone from the past come to settle an old score, or someone coming to rob me, and I didn't want to lose the few belongings I'd gathered together. 

"Fuck it." I mouthed. I flung the door open as I simultaneously lifted the knife to eye level, prepared to swing. As my eyes adjusted to the dim light from the hallway I found myself face to face with the intruder. I gasped audibly as the knife clattered onto the ground, barely registering that I'd dropped it. 

Nick Fury gave me a knowing smile.

"Evening, Agent Lenore." 

[stuckysbike]

@bucky-barnes-diaries inspired me to do this. Hopefully it’ll give me a kick up the ass and get me focused.

Or I’ll get distracted by shiny things (arms)

My current WIP’s in my Evernote app. Also I’m crap at titles. Hate them. Worst part of all of it.

Howl: Werewolf AU.

Someone tried to get rid of you, made you leave town then tried to have you declared dead. When you ran you were pregnant and fate brings you back when your son is kidnapped.

But everything ends up being connected, someone is still out to get you and you don’t know why.

Meanwhile you never finished high school, and you made money stripping and dancing. So when your ex finds out you’re picking up shifts in the local club he’s less than pleased.

Bucky x Reader.

Untitled

Left as a single mother before your baby is even born after your fiancée Bucky is filled in the line of duty you reach out to his best friend Steve for support. As you grow closer you fall in love, marry and have a baby together.

Five years later your Bucky is discovered in a Russian Gulag. He’s been experimented on, and lost an arm because of it but he’s home and he’s alive.

As the three of you try to work out where to go next you find out that Bucky and Steve had a complicated past and are closer than you ever realised. Bucky isn’t as upset about you and Steve as you expected him to be, in fact, he has a solution to all your problems.

Stucky x Reader.

Untitled

You can’t help but fall for the handsome “Yank” who has interrupted your life. Your work at the Foreign Office in London is top secret and with the country at war he’s like a tall glass of water on a hot day.

You marry with haste, and as the war comes to a close you end up being a GI Bride. Alone in New York with only the name of a husband that every woman in the city seems to know, you need to find your way until he gets dismissed from service.

Will you have a happy ever after or will that wartime romance be a passing phase for both of you?

Bucky x Reader

Untitled

Natasha Romanov-Barnes wants a baby. What Natasha wants, she gets. Her doting husband is the most powerful man on the East Coast right now. Unable to conceive after a cruel revenge for her family’s misdeeds Natasha sets about finding the perfect surrogate.

But Natasha doesn’t just want someone to carry her child, she wants a friend, confident and someone she and her husband can share and spoil. Someone to keep her company when Bucky’s on business.

And Bucky is willing to do anything as long as his wife is happy.

Buckynat x Reader

Untitled:

The daughter of a Duke, you were a prize given to one of the leaders of the invading and victorious army to marry.

The man is a handsome brute but he doesn’t act like a beast. In fact he seems rather indifferent to your presence in his life and his bed.

Travelling to his home you get trapped during an early snowstorm and with nothing else to you you end up bonding. A lot.

Bucky x Reader

[ashecampos]

why orange?

part one

part two

“carol have you seen….carol what the hell” I hear the dark haired witches voice come out from behind me and the blonde who are comfortably sat down on the balcony, cigarettes lit in our hands. “Hey no, no give me that” the lit cigarette is snatched out of my hand by Wanda as she scolds carol. Carol quickly moves to put her own cigarette out with a quick apology to the younger woman. Carol makes a run for it, while Wanda’s gaze is on me. I stay frozen in place for a few seconds, a bit flabbergasted that she actually just put my cigarette out and is now scolding me as if I am a child. “im 18 you know?” I say quietly, breaking the piercing silence shared between us both. A sigh comes from Wanda as she holds her hand out for me “the others wanted to know if you wanted to join us for a movie? It’ll just be us, Carol and Natasha, Pietro went out” she pleads with me, taking it that I will be spending time with them anyway I slowly nod, taking her hand as she pulls me up to my feet, her hands are cold but not the uncomfortable kind, the kind where you want to hold them forever as yours warms them up. That kind of cold. “we should go before natasha gaslights carol into watching Moonraker again” she says with a small chuckle giving me the impression of that movie being over played in this house.

me and Wanda walk into the small living room, a comfy sofa is pushed against the wall of the room, below it is a makeshift bed with blankets and pillows sprawled out across the floor. I smile getting memories of the times me and my closest friends would bunk out on my ex’s floor on nights out when we were too young to drink or get home to face the wrath of our parents. I smile a little and sit on the floor not giving the comfy sofa a second thought. Wanda smiles a little, noticing my willingness to always be sat on the floor. She sits next to me, throwing a blanket over us, I grab a pillow from behind me and pull it to my chest, bringing my knees up to my chest too. Just as I do this, Nat and Carol walk in laughing about something, Nat notices me first and smiles sadly. “you comfy there?” She says knowingly as I nod “you remind me of my sister, she does that too” she states as she gestures to my position, to this I smile a little.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Carol struggling to carry some DVDs, she sits on the sofa behind me before placing the DVDs between me and the witch. Nat sits behind Wanda and scans over the DVDs. Wanda quickly picks up a series, ‘skins’ i laugh recognising the tv show as the three other women look confused “you know this?” Natasha asks as I nod. The three women look at me blankly “what? Oh my god! You guys have never heard of skins?” I say looking at them all shocked. I shake my head as Wanda puts the disc in the tv.

after a few hours of watching the show, Wanda has her arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer, Carol is playing with my hair as Natasha has now plaited Wanda’s hair into braids, Carol tucks my hair behind my ear and Wanda looks over and tilts her head, she leans closer and caresses behind my right ear with her thumb “oh my god you have tattoos?” She says exited, I look at her confused. “yeah, it’s not that big of a deal” i state nonchalantly, the show now far forgotten.

Me and Wanda now sit facing carol and Nat, Carol shows off her army tattoos, one of them being a name. “Rambeau?” I ask gesturing to the one tattoo she left out “my uh friend, she died of cancer during the blip” she states “sorry” i mutter noticing how she put off talking about it “okay little rebel” Natasha grabs everyone’s attention “what’s that one on your arm, not the sleeve the small one?” She nods to my left wrist. An orange semicolon. I look up at her “the semicolon?” I say unsure if she meant that, she nods in conformation. “i..uhm so it means like I won’t end my life because a semicolon is a continuation and not a stop” i state with a bit of trouble as the three women stare at me intrigued. “why orange?” carol asks “it was my uncle’s favourite colour. But also because of a song” I nod while rubbing the back of my neck awkwardly “something in the orange tells me we’re not done?” Wanda asks. I look over surprised she understood the reference.