#ew Marjorie
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The family ties between some of my ocs and certain background characters
Fact: Alice has been taking care of Olympe since the death of their parents
#mod scilou Headcanon#Eddsworld#ew background characters#Eddsworld Katey#ew Katey#fan name tags ➡#Eddsworld Alice#ew Alice#Eddsworld Marjorie#ew Marjorie#Eddsworld Veronica#ew Veronica#Eddsworld Valentin#ew Valentin#Eddsworld ocs ➡#Eddsworld Olympe#ew Olympe#Eddsworld Olivia#ew Olivia#Eddsworld Valentina#ew Valentina
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The Eeby Deeby gang!
#ebon ward#dia diadem#maze meyers#laurent redpath#gnash#screameater#good doctor#marjorie blackthorne#ttrpg#ttrpg fanart#surpriseroundrpg#it's been like 5 years since I've done EW fanart I miss drawing them#Trying out another style for these because I do not know what a consistent art style is#I thought it would be a fun edgy vibe that matches their energy!#Their energy when they're not being clowns lol
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Sydney Atherton has asked me to be his wife. It is not only annoying; worse, it is absurd.
PFFFT, you got that right, Marjorie!
#the beetle weekly#marjorie lindon#sydney atherton#LOVE IT#she tells him 'ew. i think not' and then in her own mind is like 'not only gross but offensive. how dare he. ugh absolutely ridiculous'#which short of panic/dread is the next most appropriate reaction to sydney proposing to you
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funeral
actor!eren x f!reader
**part of my method acting fic
content: depictions of grief, talk of addiction/anxiety
an: i am alive (mostly). eat your cake, even though I think it Is bad (this chapter was the hardest to write, right next to the "the third act" chapter
songs mentioned: marjorie by taylor swift
previous part linked here
--
“What are you thinking, Eren?” Hange asks.
The question is stupid. Eren is thinking of the only logical conclusion that he can draw from the autopsy report. The implication of it, of how Marco really died, is sitting right in front of him.
The patient is a twenty-three year old Caucasian male with no significant medical history. Emergency services responded to the scene of a motor vehicle crash around nine p.m. At the scene, responders found that the patient was trapped in the vehicle, upturned on the side of the road, with no pulse at the time of arrival. Patient was declared dead on scene. Autopsy concluded that primary cause of death was asphyxiation, secondary cause being severe loss of blood due to injuries in the extremities.
“I’m thinking that the paparazzi killed him, Hange.” Eren spits.
“Eren.”
“Hange, don’t. Just-” Levi mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose.
Levi’s eyes are borderline gaunt. Eren knows the past few days have sat horribly on Levi’s shoulders and perhaps the past year and a half have too.
The guilt is excruciating. Because all Eren knows how to do is ruin people.
He dragged Levi and Hange into his mess, when he asked them for help. But it had gone too far at that point, the interview, the night on the beach, the fight - he had exhausted all ends and desperately needed someone on his side.
Levi and Hange all but berated him for it. For letting it get so far, for waiting so long when he should have known that they were always there to help. But this reaction, Levi being the one to side with his outburst is proof enough that he made the wrong choice, that he should have stuck with himself. That them bending backwards and forwards to get him out of his mess has truly taken its toll.
Levi and Hange always mimicked him and you. Eren and Hange, he knows they both have a tendency to get so lost in the emotion, to feel it so deep that the response is too loud, too much for what’s called for. That’s when you and Levi would come in, to soothe them down and bring them back to Earth.
In the same vein, you and Levi, you planted your weeds too deep into the ground. Rooted in exactly what he’s not quite sure - perhaps misplaced insecurities, whatever the two of you seemed to hide in those deep inner walls - but it kept you both stagnant, stuck where you were. That’s where Hange and Eren came in, pushing you both to soar a little bit higher than what you imagined for yourself.
But now Levi’s here, all but exhausted and broken, the same way he’s sure you were. That’s why things got so fucked up. Eren didn’t let you pull him down. He didn’t pull you up.
“They killed him, Hange.” Levi states, tone void of any emotion.
“Levi. It’s almost midnight, we’re all feeling emotional right now. We should look at this all with a clear mind tomorrow.”
“They killed him. There is nothing to look at.” Levi says, enunciating every inflection of his words.
Eren knows it for a fact. And from the look on Hange’s face, he knows they do too. His train of thought is cut off by the knocking - rapid, loud consecutive knocks slamming against the wood.
“God, Eren. Go get it now before they run off with our food.” Hange murmurs, gesturing towards the door.
Eren shuffles past the length of the hallway and swings open the door to find not his UberEats bag, but Lana, out of breath and panting on his doorstep.
“Ew. You just left two hours ago. Why are you back already?”
“Eren. Oh my god.”
Lana wraps her arms around him, squeezing hard, as she cries into his shoulder. Her demeanor settles an immediate panic under his skin. The last time she reacted like this, Eren had to watch the most gut wrenching interview of his life while she held his hand. God knows whatever she’s about to tell him now is going to break him.
Eren brings his hands up and grabs her shoulders, applying pressure to stop her from shaking in his arms.
“Lana. What’s wrong with you? Why are you-”
“Eren. I’m so sorry, you- I’m here for you, okay? Whatever you need, just-just say it.” she pants, hiccuping in between her tears.
Eren frowns, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and pulling her out of the cold Seattle air into the kitchen where Hange and Levi are cooking by the stove.
“Hi Lana Bear! How are you, kid?” Hange says, all but bouncing over to wrap their arms around Lana.
This only upsets Lana more, the discomfort worsening in Eren’s chest as he can’t help but stare at her, at her brown eyes turning almost red from the downpour of her tears and the tension sitting in her shoulders.
“What is it? Who died?”
The question, when Eren asks it, is entirely rhetorical. A figure of speech, meant to emphasize that Lana’s reaction was extreme, too obscene for whatever it is she must be talking about. But when she doesn’t respond and swallows hard, the look on her face so crestfallen, Eren’s chest settles into a panic.
His first thought is you.
“Lana. Is she dead? What are you-”
Lana scrambles for the remote on the counter, switching from the Disney Channel to the first news report she can find. The image is of an overturned car, the metal crushed and steaming in the front, accompanied with words that burn Eren’s ears. The first hit is relief - that it’s not you. The second hit is painful, like the air’s been sucked out of his lungs.
Because it’s Marco.
“What?” Levi says, taking his eyes off the stove to glance at the screen.
Eren can feel his phone incessantly buzzing in his pocket and he reaches for it immediately, Lana leaning into his side as she continues to cry into his shoulder. Levi and Hange are moving closer to the television, like that’ll somehow make the sound better, the image clearer, like they’ll be able to find falsity in it.
jean: the bodt’s said the funeral is going to be near the old house. ask levi and hange if we can all stay in the townhouse together.
bertholdt: reiner and i are heading over tonight.
sukuna: Let me know if you need anything. Give the paparazzi hell for this one.
connie: i’m coming back to seattle. i-i don’t know if i can do this.
Eren’s quick to respond to that one.
eren: i’ve got you man. meet us in new york as soon as you can, we’re all going to stay at the townhouse. don’t leave sasha’s side until you get there okay?
connie: alright. okay, thanks.
eren: phone is on.
“This is bullshit. How do they know it’s him?” Levi says angrily, hands crossed over his chest.
“Levi.” Hange says, voice nearly cracking.
“No, I’m being fucking serious. How do they know that this guy is our Marco? There’s no proof. Call the Bodt’s right now.” Levi says, pacing the kitchen for where he left his phone.
Eren frowns, his head racing as Levi walks the length of the kitchen and Hange settles into their immediate panic.
“Eren.” Lana says.
“Hm?”
“I have to tell you something. You’re going to hate it. I-”
“Just tell me, Lana. No-no beating around the bush.”
“The paparazzi…got to him first before the police.” she whispers.
“What?” Eren says, through gritted teeth as his head all but short circuits.
“They knew it was his car, he’d been driving it around that part of Nashville for a while. They were probably just following him to get pictures wherever he was going. But then he-he crashed and-”
“And what? They took pictures of it? Of him?” Eren asks, squeezing Lana’s shoulders too hard.
“Yeah. They-they only called the police when they were done, Eren. I-”
The tears fill Eren’s eyes as the implication cuts deep. It all but sears the air in his lungs, the tears welling so fast that it’s already obstructing his vision. All he can feel is Lana’s hands, squeezing his biceps, as he tries to control the heaving in his chest.
“How long?”
“Eren.” she says, tone so pitiful it makes his blood boil.
“How long, Lana?” he asks, voice cracking.
“It took them forty-five minutes to get there. They would have been there in fifteen.” she whispers.
And now, the autopsy report tells him enough. With a definitive resolve that the paparazzi killed Marco. Because he died from asphyxiation, from being twisted in the metal, not getting any air. And if the police had gotten there maybe a moment earlier, a second faster, they could have gotten him out, could have at least made sure he was breathing.
They wanted a picture. Marco died for it.
The anger surges through Eren, tenfold when he remembers the paparazzi lining up Jean and Mikasa’s engagement party, Falco’s school, his house the day his grandpa died. When you walked into his garage, drenched from the rain with a deep cut on your face and skidded knees, scared to death.
“I’m done sugarcoating, Hange. Eren is right. They killed Marco.” Levi responds.
Hange sighs, leaning against the counter as Eren walks up to them, resting his head against their shoulder. They all stand there in silence, not even seventy-two hours after the fact, and it still hasn’t hit Eren.
In full flesh, that Marco is gone.
The rapid knocking on the door, real this time, breaks him out of his thoughts.
“Probably Zeke or Armin. I’ve got it.” he murmurs.
“Thanks kid.”
Eren watches as Levi sinks into Hange’s arms, sighing as he shuffles to the door and flicks on the porch light. He swings it open and immediately feels his throat tighten, fully constricted, at the sight of you standing in the lamplight.
You’re looking up at him, swallowing hard, as you stare into his eyes and all Eren can do is wonder if your brain is short circuiting as much as his is. Surely, it isn’t. Eren has every reason to be embarrassed, to be ashamed. And you don’t.
For posterity, he fights all instincts, every urge in his body, to reach forward and hold you. To let your sweet flowery smell take over his nose, to settle his face into that crook in your neck, to have your soft, soft touch running over his skin. To let the mountain of emotions he’s been carrying fall, because you’re here.
But he can’t.
“Hi Eren.”
“Y/N.”
He can’t help but inspect every micro-movement, every gesture you make. Your eyes are nearly glassing over with tears and you’re nervously fidgeting with your fingers. You’ve dropped your gaze to focus on the ground, a habit you always had when you were sad, as your voice breaks into the air.
“Can I ask you something? Please?” you whisper.
He reaches forward, hands on your shoulders, squeezing once and praying to god you remember what it means, as he nods.
That he’s here and he’s got you.
“Anything. What is it?”
“Is he dead?”
Maybe not anything.
He can’t be the one to tell you. You of all people that Marco died, at the hands of the paparazzi. The same paparazzi who in your very pointed words, gutted your first love like a fish. Who were partly to blame, who drove you out of here alongside him.
“Y/N.”
“Is he?” you repeat, voice smaller.
“Okay. Let’s go inside, you-”
“Is Marco dead, Eren? I’m asking you a question.”
Your anger in your voice is enough to make him stop in his tracks, the second time your voice is laced with that animosity that it scares him into responding. He hears it, in his worst hours, echoing in his mind.
How many times are you going to keep breaking shit without any care in the world? The camera, the fucking award you picked over me, Connie’s fucking livelihood, my heart. God, Eren. All you’ve ever cared about is yourself. From the start.
He swallows hard.
“Yes. Marco’s dead.”
And you don’t even know the half of it.
He watches your glass tears, the ones sitting right on the edge of your eyelashes, fall in full force, onto your cheeks as you immediately start hiccuping, hands clasped against your chest.
“I-I saw it on the news. I-I didn’t believe it but I- They always lie about stuff. I thought it was the same as that and-”
“Y/N, come ins-”
Your panic sets in so fast, so quick that Eren doesn’t even register it. Because one second you’re panting and the next Eren’s watching you retch onto the grass Connie mowed this morning. Eren pushes you into the house the second you stop, straight to the kitchen where Levi and Hange are still standing in their spots.
“Wait, is that-”
“Do you guys know if we have something like…anti-nausea? Is that what you do when someone throws up or-” Eren asks.
“Is that Y/N?” Levi asks.
“Yeah, she-she was on the porch, I-”
Levi’s quick to walk up, hands on your shoulders as he talks, voice quiet and calm when he speaks near your ear. Hange moves to Eren’s side, her face wearing that concerned look she gives him too much these days, as they both rummage through the cabinets for anything that could help.
“Y/N. You okay?” Levi asks.
“I-I threw up on the-the porch. On the g-grass. So-sorry.”
“It’s just grass. What’s-”
Eren tries to still it - that pounding in his heart - as he walks over with the glass of water he filled up for you. Your hands must be wobbling too much because Eren doesn’t let the glass go, instead tilting your head up softly with his hands and pouring the water into your mouth.
“Hey. Drink some more for me.” Eren states, voice soft as he instinctively reaches forward to fix the hairs sticking to the sweat beading your forehead, feeling your skin burning under his touch.
“We should take her temperature.” Eren says.
Levi and Hange dart out of the room, to the drawer upstairs where the thermometer is, as Eren takes breaks between helping you drink the water and rubbing circles into your back.
Eren can feel every muscle in his body tense, his skin burning when you lean forward, forehead resting against his chest as you groan out in pain.
“Hey. You with me?” Eren asks, murmuring straight into your hair.
Eren feels your breathing still against him, his hands intuitively wrapping around you this time, cradling the back of your head in his hands. You hum in response to his question, which is a good enough answer for Eren now.
“Found it.” Levi says, all but speed walking as Eren spins you around, watching as Levi meticulously pushes your sweaty hair out of your face and holds the sensor against your head. You’re all standing there in silence, craning over the little plastic as the two consecutive beeps go off.
“98.6. You’re okay, Y/N.” Levi mutters, setting the thermometer back on the table.
“Thank you, Levi.” you respond back, rubbing your arms on your biceps as you stare at the two of them, withdrawn and withholding from you.
Granted, you’d do the same. You wouldn’t rush to their arms either if they ignored you for two years.
“You can take this for nausea. If it happens again.” Hange says, placing a bottle in your hands.
“Sure. Thank you, Hange.” you respond.
The silence hangs in the air between the four of you as you stand there, each of you racking your heads for the right thing to say. Eren wants to tell Levi and Hange to stop being so rude, that they were the ones who were begging you to come back and now that you’re here they won’t even talk to you. Levi and Hange are debating which one of them should yell at you first, for being withdrawn from them and not asking for help the way Eren did. And you’re figuring out who you should apologize to first, between the three of them.
None of you break. Because it’s not the right time. Because Marco is dead.
“Everyone is sleeping together upstairs. There should be an extra air mattress up there, Eren will get it for you….knock if you need something.” Levi says, tone exasperated as he shuffles away.
“Welcome back, kid.”
Hange gives you a full smile as they follow him, leaving you and Eren in the kitchen. The distance Levi is putting in between you and him stings, but you swallow the burn and remind yourself that you’re the one who inflicted it on yourself.
At the time, after the interview, the rationale made more sense. Nonsensically, you decided that you were done with the industry and that, by proxy, meant that you were done with them too. You did your interview and stuck to your word, never looked back.
It’s humiliating now. Debilitating thinking about how much you must have hurt them. Because each of them, they continually reached out until it stopped. Mikasa made every effort to have you come to her engagement party, that she would even stop the press from coming for Vogue the way they had planned for you.
And when you didn’t show, all she did was send you pictures, of her and Jean cutting the cake and of the dress she had bought for you to wear. Hange and Levi were so vigilant about it, on making sure that you were okay, that you had security details, that people really were leaving you alone. You didn’t heed any of their efforts, because for all intents and purposes, you were leaving the girl you were behind.
Her dreams, the love she held, the friends she had.
It seems stupid now. It seems incredibly and gut-wrenchingly stupid that your last words to Marco were over two years ago because you were punishing him for something that wasn’t his fault. That you can’t go to any of them for comfort because the thing that they need comfort from is you.
All you know how to do is ruin people.
“Are you hungry? Or do you want to go to bed?” Eren asks.
“I can go to bed. Levi said air mattress?”
“Yeah, we’re all sleeping together in the loft upstairs.”
“We?” you ask.
“Mikasa and Jean are here. Ymir and Hisu, Bertholdt and Reiner, Connie and Sash. Everyone else should be getting in tomorrow.”
Eren pads towards the stairs and you awkwardly follow, crawling up the stairs behind him. You can hear the loud chatter of voices, talking over each other, as you try to catch the ends of their conversation.
“But where do they go when you pee?” Sasha asks.
“Fuck do you mean, where do they go?” Reiner says, voice incredulous.
“Like in the bowl? Because if you’re sitting on the toilet, they have to go somewhere?” Sasha repeats.
“Sasha. It’s almost one in the morning. Please stop talking about balls.” Ymir groans, earning a good amount of laughs from the group.
“Eren, tell them all to shut the fuck up.” Jean groans, forearm over his eyes as he and Mikasa roll around on their mattress.
Eren looks at you, eyes weary, before he turns to respond to them.
“Y/N’s here.”
They all peek their heads up, curious eyes falling on you, as you give them a halfhearted smile, trying your best to wipe your sweaty palms on the back of your dress.
“Hi guys.”
The silence is deafening. You can’t pick what’s worse - Reiner and Bertholdt squinting their eyes at you or Mikasa and Jean refusing to look at you.
Mikasa and Jean.
Historia stands up, strutting over from her air mattress, to wrap her arms around you, the pressure of the hug so hard you can barely breathe. You breathe in her smell, spicy and sharp the way it’s always been, as she pulls away. Her warm hand is resting on your cheek, the smile on her face so genuine that it untangles the smallest parts of discomfort on your chest.
“Hi princess. Missed you.”
“Thanks, Hisu. I missed you too.”
That’s always been the thing about Historia. That she’ll pick up, even when you haven’t called her in two years, and run to your aid.
“How’d you know we were here?” Jean asks, hands resting on his knees.
“I asked Historia.” you respond.
“Told you I was her favorite. She reached out to me before you.” Historia mutters, flopping back onto the air mattress she’s sharing with Ymir.
“You’re so arrogant, Historia. And full of shit.” Jean responds, rolling his eyes.
“You’re so right, Jean-Boy. This is just like what we fought about earlier.” Connie responds.
The group of them break out into an argument, Historia looking like she’s full on about to wrestle Connie as he only instigates her on. Mikasa’s already resting with her eyes closed as Jean turns pink in the face from his irritations.
And you can’t help but laugh, warm tingling in your chest at all of them, wholeheartedly the same. You look over at Eren and smile, which he returns. But despite it all, that stillness, that outsider feeling sits in your skin. Because despite them being the same, the striking differences in the room tell you things are wholeheartedly different too.
“Okay. Where’s the extra air mattress?” Eren asks.
Connie turns, eyes wide, as he gives the two of you a sheepish smile.
“Really funny story. Sooooo….”
“God. What did you do?” Eren groans.
“Long story short, I was thinking about waterbeds. If you pop a water bed, it should be like a waterfall right? So if it’s an air mattress, it should be like an inflatable air balloon thing. Like the weird noodle guys at the car store? Right? So, I tried to pop it. And succeeded.” Connie responds, rambling.
“Was it cool?” you ask.
“Ugh. Not at all, princess.” Connie responds.
You smile, perhaps bigger than you should at Connie using your old nickname, as Eren starts yelling at him.
“You should be the one to sleep on the floor since you’re the one who ruined the mattress.” Eren states.
“She should sleep on the floor. She got here last!” Connie responds.
“She just threw up. And she wasn’t going to sleep on the floor regardless.”
“Is she contagious?” Connie responds.
“Connie!”
Eren rolls his eyes as Mikasa stands up, shuffling to your side and lightly tugging your arm. You look at her, taking her shorter hair in, as you give her a smile.
“Hey. Want to go change? Your old clothes should still be here, don’t know how well they’ll fit.”
Eren breaks out of his conversation, leaning forward to where the two of you are talking, to interject.
“What’s mine is yours. Take mine if you need to.” he says, before returning in full flesh to the argument he’s having with Connie. You can tell they’re both joking from the way they’re trying not to laugh as you start to walk away.
The two of you quietly pad down the length to the two doors, directly across from each other, as you take in the scribbled signs switched. Your old room now reads Jean and Mikasa with Connie’s handwriting scribbled underneath inscribing please fuck quietly on the door. And consequently, Eren’s room now reads Eren and Y/N with Sasha’s handwriting scribbled underneath reading yall are fucked UP for this.
You turn to Mikasa and give her a weird look.
“Right. We’ve been here for a week, actually. Table reading season four stuff. Jean and I want to share a room so we moved all of his stuff to your room and your stuff to Eren’s room. We’ll put it back.” Mikasa states, pushing open the door to Eren’s room as she starts rummaging through your old drawers in the closet.
“No, no. It’s okay. I wouldn’t want to impose on you guys when you’re almost about to be newlyweds?” you ask.
“Yeah. Yeah, next year. And we just moved it because we thought you weren’t going to come back. And Eren didn’t want to toss your stuff and all.” she responds. She pulls out a shirt, most definitely from when you’re fifteen, as you both snicker at the size and she keeps digging.
You walk around Eren’s room, your room too now, as you eye all the boxes filled with your things, tangled in with Eren’s clothes lying around on every open surface. You take a seat at his desk as you start inspecting his little bulletin board, the pictures underneath the pins.
One of him, Lana, and Sukuna - the three of them smoldering at the camera. Eren and Connie smiling, Eren and a little kid with short curly hair, and two pictures of you. The first one is of you and him sleeping on set and the other is the two of you with Falco, both of you crouching down to his height and hugging him from behind.
And hanging around both of the pins are your friendship bracelets, which you take off the hooks to inspect.
So that’s where it went. In all of the fire of moving around so much, jumping from one place to another, you always thought you lost it. But you must have left it here all along.
You run your hands over the beads, yours and Eren’s names, as Mikasa gives you a head shake, indicating she didn’t find anything.
“S’okay. I’ll look through Eren’s stuff I guess.” you murmur.
Mikasa nods as she leans against Eren’s desk, hands crossed over her chest, as the silence hangs in between the two of you. She takes one of the bracelets from your hands, twisting the beads in her fingers, as you do the same with yours.
You find solace in the fact that Mikasa is still wearing her engagement ring - a constant in the sparring mix of changes you just witnessed in the room.
Connie sober. Ymir and Historia sharing a mattress. Eren and Connie getting along. Mikasa and Jean even tolerating being in the same room as Eren. In the same room as you. And the jarring absence of Marco.
“How are you?” Mikasa asks.
“Okay, Mika. How are you?”
Mikasa sinks down, sitting flat on the floor as she hikes her knees to her chest. You follow suit, dropping from your chair to sit next to her, lacing your arm through hers as you both blankly stare at the floor ahead of you, picking what topic to broach first.
I missed you. I’m sorry I haven’t talked to you in two years. Our friend is dead. Eren is here.
“The engagement party looked beautiful, Mikasa.”
She smiles, leaning her head against yours.
“Thank you, Y/N. It was quite nice actually.”
“I watched it on Vogue. Cried quite a bit.” you respond.
She laughs, rolling her eyes at you as she lightly shoves you.
“Should’ve come then. Cried in real time.”
You swallow hard, cheeks warm, as you squeeze her hand. You know she’s joking, but the guilt runs too deep.
“I’m sorry for not coming. I-I really wish I was there. And I know there’s no justification for it but-”
“We aren’t mad at you. Jean and I.” she clarifies.
“I’d understand if you were. I’m your best friend. I’ve-I’ve been with you guys since the start and-”
Mikasa’s hands are soft on your shoulders, tears gathering in her eyes, as she looks at you, eyes pinched in pain.
“You had every right to not come. To be done with this. What they did to you, to Eren- Y/N, god.”
You swallow hard.
“It didn’t warrant me not coming to you-”
“It did. You don’t even know the half of it. You-you and Eren. You just-”
There’s a knocking at the door and Eren pads in, eyes wide as he sees you and Mikasa on the floor, tears gathered in her eyes and your limbs tangled together.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I can come back.”
“No, no. It’s okay, Eren. Her clothes are too small. I can go grab mine for her if you two want to talk-” her words pointed, the emphasis on the last words hard.
“No, don’t bother Mikasa.” he responds, disappearing into his closet to find a pair of clothes for you.
Mikasa turns back to you, giving your cheek a pinch.
“I’ll make Jean sleep on the floor if Connie doesn’t give up his mattress. It’ll be like old times.” she responds, shuffling out of the room as you stay on your spot on the floor.
You hike your knees to your chest as you twist the beads in your fingers again, Eren’s name that you used to wear on your wrist almost every day foreign in your fingers.
“Eren. We’re going to be late.” you groan, impatiently tapping your foot on the ground as you wait for him by the door.
The two of you are already thirty minutes late to Erwin’s going away party, the last car waiting to take the two of you, Marco, and Annie out to the little soiree that Erwin is throwing for himself - in celebration of him being killed off.
“Sorry, sorry. Looking for my bracelet.” he responds, darting back and forth from different corners of the room.
“Well, hurry up. Annie’s getting pissed.”
“I found yours! But where is mine?”
You look down at your wrist to find the pink beads on your wrist, spelling out your name against your pulse point in your wrist.
“Oops, sorry. I’m wearing yours.” you respond.
Eren’s quick to walk over to where you’re standing on the door - giving you enough time to groan at how haphazardly he got ready for the party. His tie is loose against his neck, hair all messy as you reach up to fix it.
“God, Eren. At least brush your hair.”
“Quit moving your hands.”
Eren takes his hand in yours, quickly sliding the bracelet off your wrist and switching it with the one in his hand.
“Well, get ready properly. Your tie isn’t even on right.” you respond, irritated as you reach forward to tighten the fabric and smooth down his collar.
“And if I told you I put it on wrong just so you would fix it, what would you think?”
“That you’re asking for a death sentence from Annie for wasting time.”
He rolls his eyes, reaching up to lift the hand he just placed the bracelet on. His thumb is straight against your pulse point, blood pulsating under the spot, as he lifts his hand to leave a kiss right there.
“And that it’s cute that you did that.”
He gives you a wide grin, locking your hands together as you both rush out the door.
Eren shuffles out, sitting across from you as he puts the stack of clothes between you and hikes his knees to his chest. He holds his hand out and you place the bracelet in his hand.
“You left it in the bathroom.”
You nod as you try to steady your mind - still running a hundred miles per hour and overstimulated from seeing everyone again. From how familiar it all feels, how easy it all is to fall back into this despite how different things are.
How you and Eren are miles apart, how you haven’t talked to them all in months, how Marco is dead. That Marco’s death is suspending all of you in a weird state of reality, that every angry word spoken and every bit of harshness seems miniscule now.
“Do you want me to leave?” Eren asks.
“No.” you shrug.
“Do you want to talk?”
“No.”
Eren nods, counting each of the beads on the bracelet, as you both sit there in the silence, letting your eyes float around the room as you let your mind wander.
Marco and Colt playing chess everyday when he visited you in Canada, Marco falling for every stupid joke that Connie played on him, the way you all cried when Marco died in the show, Marco at the awards show.
“Eren?”
“Yes, Y/N?”
“Do you remember the first time we kissed?”
The question takes Eren off guard. He debates it then and there - telling you the truth full and whole - on the basis that he can’t handle the way you’re looking at him. At the fact that you even asked that, at the implication that you thought he could ever forget.
“Of course. On set, in the-”
“No, no. I mean, for real.”
“At the awards show.” Eren responds, without a beat.
“Yeah.”
Eren leans forward, wrapping his hands around your neck and pressing his lips to yours. You can still feel people moving around you, setting up things for the closing part of the ceremony, but the only thing you’re paying attention to is Eren. And his lips. And the way he’s pulling you closer, like he can’t get enough of you.
When you pull apart, you’re both panting, smiling at each other.
“Thank god. If I got cock-blocked from kissing you a third time, I was actually going to commit a murder.”
“You want me so bad.” you say, sarcastically.
“Obviously.”
You both smile and turn to the left, to a very smiley Marco staring at you two. And then you cringe, remembering that you and Eren are literally backstage and there’s like seven people who just watched you suck face. Marco walks up, wrapping his arms around both of you and hugging hard.
“I love you guys.”
“Marco. Don’t-” Eren starts.
“I’m not going to tell anyone. You need time to figure whatever is going on, without Connie and and Sasha up your ass the entire time. But I’m really, really happy for you.”
“Really, Marco?” you ask, leaning into Eren’s touch.
“It’s always been you guys. You guys better not break up or else I’ll come hunt both of you down. And if I’m dead, I’ll come back to life just to haunt you guys.”
“Do you think he’s haunting us?”
Eren frowns, the memory refreshing in his head. One he thought of a few days ago, lingering on the fact that Marco’s probably turning in grave right now. Granted, Marco was very vehement about his stance on you two - your interview and what Eren did, making Marco so agonizingly and uncharacteristically angry that it bothers him now.
For not listening to him. That if he does ever get to cross that bridge with you, at least be your friend again, that Marco won’t ever know.
“I just don’t understand why you won’t just go out there and tell her. You know where she lives.” Marco states, irritated.
“Because I just can’t, Marco! You watched the interview!”
“The entire song was about how she forgave you. How she isn’t holding a grudge against you. And-and the way she was talking about it, some part of her knows that other people had something to do with this, Eren. She knows deep down.”
“The interview was fucking horrible. This entire thing, this thing that I did, fucked her up so bad that she isn’t even doing this anymore. This was all she wanted, ever since she was a kid, she-she was so determined and she gave it up because I said all those things, because I did what I did.”
“Eren. It’s more compl-”
“No, it’s not. And she fucking hates me. You should have seen how upset she was at the awards show…..I-I ruined it for her. I ruined her entire dream, Marco.”
“God, Eren. Your tunnel vision is insane. You’re not even giving her a fighting chance when she doesn’t even know the truth!” he says.
“Maybe haunting is too mean of a word. I think he’d be happy to see us together, right now. Even if the circumstances aren’t the best.” he responds.
You smile, giving him a nod.
“He always did like playing cupid, didn’t he?”
“At the engagement party, he walked around telling everyone that Jean and Mikasa were only dating because of him.”
“That’s a lie.” you state.
“No one believed him.” Eren responds.
The two of you fall into silence again, resting your chins on your knees, as more thoughts swim through your head, pain so palpable it’s sitting in your chest. That if Marco were here, he’d be prancing in and giving you two devious smirks, lovingly teasing both of you. Pulling both of you aside, saying that bygones should be bygones if you still love each other.
You look up at him, watch his eyes flutter open and close, as he fidgets with his hands.
You still love him.
“Can we be civil for the weekend? Like…like you’re not Eren and I’m not Y/N, we’re just-” you sutter.
Your question falls short, hanging in the air as you watch the gears in Eren’s head turn.
“I just mean. So many things happened between us. And I know there’s hurt there, on your part and maybe mine too, but…..I don’t want us to be mad at each other at the funeral. Or after.”
You swallow hard.
“I’d hate for one of us to die being mad at each other. Without having talked in years.” you whisper.
Eren gets it. The guilt that must be wracking you for not talking to Marco, when you were one of the people who was closest to him. He reaches forward, taking your hand in his, as he fidgets with your fingers.
“He knows you loved him, Y/N.”
He watches the tears pour down your eyes, face pink and eyes swollen, as you talk.
“Did he? Because I ignored his texts. For years. He texted me happy birthday, asked how Falco was doing, wanted to know if I watched Halloweentown on October first like I always do, if I was happy, if I wanted to talk and-”
He squeezes your hand, pulling out his phone, as he scoots to the space next to you. He tries to still the pounding of his heart as you lace your arm through his, leaning your head against his.
“He knows, Y/N.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I was with him. I talked to him quite often after….after everything that happened. I promise you, he knows you loved him.”
You shake your head, guilt sitting in your head.
“I have something for you.” he murmurs.
“What is it?”
“It’s from a few years ago. I think he was really, really drunk.”
He hands you his phone, open to a voicemail from Marco, as you wipe the tears on your phone and press play. His voice comes through the speaker booming and giggling and hiccuping as he talks.
“Eren. Eren! Fuck, I love you so much dude. You’re-you’re such a guy. Like I-I just see you and think hmmmm. That’s a guy. Are you with Y/N? Tell her I love her. She’s my best friend. You’re all my best friends. I’m so happy I got to grow up with all of you. Oh, Connie just threw up on the floor, oh Connie- hey, stop! Okay, love you brother, I have to go.”
The voice cuts off abruptly, as you laugh.
“Never could hold his drink, could he?”
“Not everyone can be alcoholics like Jean and Mikasa.”
You both laugh, chest aching from how familiar, how soft this feels. That you’re both sitting in this room, where you grew up, fell in love, slept next to each other every night. Eren can see the tears welling in your eyes, thinking of his best efforts to stop it, at whatever is plaguing your mind.
“So. You said you’re not Y/N and I’m not Eren. So who are we?” he asks.
“I meant that metaphorically, you’re-”
You watch Eren’s eyes flit around his room, scanning till he stops around his bookshelf, and turns back to glance at you.
“Your new name is Margaret.”
“Ew. And I didn’t mean it like that, Eren.”
“Who is Eren? My name is….” he responds, giving you a smile as he elongagates the syllables waiting for your response.
You roll your eyes.
“Bruce. Your name is Bruce.”
“Bruce Wayne!”
“No. Not like Bruce Wayne. Think of someone really boring. Irritating, agitating.”
“Perfect! I’ll just think of you after five shots of tequila.”
You both laugh as Eren stands up, holding a hand out to pull you up. He sets the stack of clothes in your hand as he makes a move to walk out of the room. Except he hangs on the door for a second, voice soft when he talks.
“Does Bruce have permission to say something?”
“Sure.”
“I know he technically just met Margaret because she was born a minute ago, but he missed her. A lot.”
You feel your cheeks burn as you give him a nod, murmuring a quiet me too before sinking into the bathroom to slip his clothes on.
Connie, does in fact, not give up the mattress. Jean and Eren begrudgingly share as you and Mikasa cuddle into the night.
--
You wake up first, to find Mikasa sprawled over your entire frame. Her entire body is burning hot and you send a silent prayer to the world's strongest soldier, Jean Kirschtein, for putting up with this for so long. After you all but free yourself from her grasp, you spare a quick glance to see Jean must be smothering Eren more than Mikasa was you and silently muse that the two of them truly are made for each other.
You pad down to the kitchen, yanking the hood of Eren’s hoodie over your head, to find Connie sitting at the table, scribbling away in a journal, a steaming bowl of oatmeal next to him.
“Good morning, Con.’”
He looks up, one of his hands going instinctively to cover what he was writing as you take the seat next to him, crossing your legs up on the chair. He immediately relaxes, giving you a bright smile.
“Good morning, princess. You can have some if you want.”
“No, no. I don’t want to impose.”
“What’s mine is yours.” he says, mimicking Eren’s voice.
You snort, reaching for his spoon, as you take a bite of the warm food, soothing the stiffness in your throat.
“Sleep well?” he asks.
“Mikasa basically strangled me all night.”
“Ew. Of course she has the cuddle bug. I swear, Jean and Mikasa were always goo goo ga ga, but they’re even worse now.”
“They’re getting married, Connie. It’s sweet.”
He smiles, sliding the string through the pages, as he turns to you giving you a smile.
“Yeah. It is sweet.” he responds, voice quiet.
Connie swallows hard, eyes weary as he turns to you.
“I want to apologize.” Connie says.
The elephant in the room. He’s the first one to touch it.
“Oh. That’s okay, I under-”
“No, no. It’s not okay.” he responds, tone almost harsh.
You and Armin share a look the second he breaks the frame, glass shattering over the length of Armin’s apartment.
“Why the fuck would you guys bring me here?” Connie asks, sweat beading his forehead.
From the way he’s moving, all erratic and nonsensical, it makes you think that it’s out of his system. That if Connie had a chance, this would be when he would sneak off to the bathroom to get his fix. But he’s nowhere near that, instead settled into Armin’s tiny New York apartment, screaming at the two of you.
“Connie. You asked us too.” you respond.
“I was fucking high! Why would you guys even entertain a word I said?” Connie states, voice even more agitated now.
“Connie. You…you need help. We looked at some rehab places while you were asleep and-”
“Rehab? I’m not going to rehab. Are you trying to ruin my fucking career, Armin?”
“No, but we want to make sure you’re okay. They’ll be discrete, we’ll make sure the security detail is good so that you can be better and-”
“I am fucking fine. Do I look like I need help?”
You and Armin share a weary glance, before looking back at him.
“Connie. We love you. We-we just want to help you, okay?” you say.
“Does it ever embarrass you when you do this, Y/N?” Connie says, voice laced with venom.
“Sorry?”
“Does you not think it’s embarrassing to beg like this in front of people who don’t fucking care about you the way you do about them? I figured that Eren putting you in your place like that would set you straight but it seems like you didn’t learn your lesson, did you?”
You swallow hard, eyes and skin burning as Connie waits for your response.
“You don’t mean that. You-you’re just mad because you can’t be high right now.” you murmur.
“Am I, Y/N? Or is it true?”
“It’s not true. This isn’t you, Connie.”
“God, Y/N. Wake the fuck up. We aren’t fifteen anymore. No ones sitting here holding your hand telling you that you’ll be the best anymore. I get that you need that ego boost to move forward but I sure as hell am not going to be the one to give it to you.”
“Connie, that’s enough-”
Connie swallows hard, eyes focused on his fingers as he talks.
“I know-I know that I said it wasn’t true. But I really did say all of those things because I was high. Or because I wanted to be high and was in withdrawal and-”
“I know that, Connie. I’ve never held it against you.”
He frowns, twisting his pen to his fingers.
“You always give grace even when you don’t know the whole story. Me, Hisu, Eren.” he murmurs.
“You deserve it…and I partially knew. I mean, addiction is a disease. It hurt at first but that wasn’t your fault. You just needed to be treated and helped and I’m glad you did.”
He smiles, resting his cheek against his hand.
“Thank you, Y/N. Don’t mind me if I spend the rest of my life asking for forgiveness. I won’t ever feel like I deserve it but I’ll keep asking anyway.” he murmurs.
“I’ll always give it to you.” you respond, squeezing his shoulder.
You silently wonder that if you ever did come back, sans funeral, if things would be like this. If you and Eren could pretend, if Mikasa and Jean could look past it all. Because some parts of it, they feel earnest, truthful. But you can’t tell if you’re all suspended in some disbelief, clouded by your grief and trying to cling onto one of the things Marco loved most. His time on the show, with you all.
“Honey when I’m above the trees, I SEE IT FOR WHAT IT IS.” Connie sings, screams.
“Oh my god, Connie.” you deadpan.
He’s singing happiness. Like the happiness you sang in your interview, when you forgave Eren.
“THERE’LL BE HAPPINESS AFTER YOU. BUT THERE WAS HAPPINESS BECAUSE OF YOUUUU. BOTH OF THESE THINGS CAN BE TRUE, THERE IS HAPPINESS.”
You clamp your hand flat against his mouth, trying not to snicker, as he continues to sing underneath your hand.
“Are you insane? They’re all sleeping.” you whisper.
“Not anymore we’re not.” Ymir responds, immediately smacking Connie against the head.
“You’re going to give Eren a nightmare, Connie.” Historia mutters, dragging her feet into the kitchen as Ymir follows.
“I’m already living it.” Eren grumbles, leaning against the counter as he splits a PopTart with Jean.
Slowly but surely, every one of them shuffles down to the room, the deja vu of the situation hitting deep as each person follows suit. Sasha ambles down after a few minutes, finishing off the bowl of oatmeal that you and Connie were sharing while Reiner and Bertholdt murmur quietly over the coffee cup. Eren’s in hushed conversation with Jean and Mikasa, fixing himself breakfast, as Hange and Levi wander into the room, immediately thrown off by all of you in there.
“Jesus.” Levi says, tone exasperated.
“Good morning, Levi.” Mikasa says, gesturing to the water boiling on the kettle for his tea. He gives her a grateful smile, taking a seat in his corner as Hange talks to the group of you. Connie’s resorted to cracking all of your knuckles since his are all worn out as they go on.
“Good morning kiddos!”
“Don’t….do such a cheery voice, Hange.” Levi says, sighing.
Hange’s smile falters, before dropping all together, and giving a thoughtful nod. Eren shuffles over to your side, taking the seat next to yours as he places a steaming bowl of ramen in front of you.
“Oh. Thank you, Eren.”
“Who?”
You roll your eyes as Eren smiles, reaching forward to flick your cheek.
“Bruce.”
“Bruce, indeed.” he responds.
Eren knows he’s in treacherous waters. That this line you’ve drawn, that you’re not you and he’s not himself, works almost too well for Eren’s purposes. That he can pretend, in earnest, that none of the things he said happened. That you and him are just as you always were, untouched in the bubble you were always in when you lived here. .
“The funeral is tomorrow, as we all know. The Bodt’s have requested that we get there ten minutes before the service, so be on time tomorrow. Bertholdt, Sasha, I’m looking at both of you. ”
You all nod, humming in response, as you start digging into the bowl, switching off with Connie and Sasha who are both trying to monopolize the only real food in a five feet radius.
“That being said…” Hange says, swallowing hard.
They’re pacing back and forth almost, teetering on their ankles, when they talk. And when they finish explaining - autopsy report in hand and the gut punch sticking in your chest - you all sit there, blankly staring.
And wander in silence for the rest of the day.
It was one thing that Marco died. And an entirely different one that he was killed.
--
“Someone go get Eren, we only have thirty minutes.” Levi says, everyone lingering in the kitchen and the living room, in a sea of black.
Almost everyone is here now - Erwin, Armin, even Eren’s parents - all lingering around as you wait to head to the funeral. You give a curt nod to Levi and march out to the pavement, pebbles crunching under your feet as you make your way to set.
Eren’s been in there since last night, never retreating to the room to change into his pajamas before he settled down on the couch downstairs. Despite your protests, he refuses to sleep in the same room as you. Or let you sleep anywhere else besides Jean’s old bed in his room.
You let the pebbles crunch under your feet, ignoring the sting as you pass the tandem bike, and slip onto the set. You can see new costumes designs printed against the walls, storyboards with Levi and Hange’s handwriting on them as you make your way to the back towards the piano.
When you see him, that rage, simmering warm in your stomach over the past twenty-four hours, the deep-seated pain of Marco dying alone, crying out for help, comes to a head when you see Eren. Because he’s sitting at the bench, with his book propped up against the stand, and a bottle of pills in his hands.
You march up to where he’s standing, crossing your hands across your chest as you all but glare at him.
“Oh. Hey, you look-”
“Are you serious?”
You watch his face scrunch up in confusion, that stupid look on his face aggravating you even more. His tie is unkempt, his hair is messy - he’s always so haphazard with these things.
“You’re doing pills in here before Marco’s funeral. Are you fucking serious?”
He looks down, at the bottle in his hand and stands up, and swallows hard when he looks at you.
“Wait-”
“No. No, for once, you’re going to listen to me. You-you’re sick. Marco’s dead. You can’t even give it to him to be fully there while we say goodbye? This means that much to you?” you spit, watching him shut his eyes.
“Y/N.”
“How could you do this? To him? To me?”
He reaches forward, hands on your shoulders as he squeezes, and your eyes burn like acid. And every feeling, building up over the past few days, comes tumbling out.
“Why did he have to leave us, Eren? We didn’t get enough time with him. He was only twenty-four, he didn't even get to grow old. He was supposed to die, years from now, so happy, so-so surrounded by people he loved.”
Eren forgoes the rational thought. He reaches forward fully, snaking his arms around you as he cradles your head into his frame, trying his best to stifle your cries into his shoulder.
“And you. He would hate that you were doing this. I hate that you’re doing this. You-you don’t have to. There are other things that can make you happy or-or fix whatever it is that’s wrong.”
“Y/N.”
“What, Eren?”
He pulls back, reaching for the pill bottle, and placing it in the palm of your hand. You read the label, immediately embarrassed and ashamed of your reaction.
Eren Jaeger *Lexapro 5 mg Take one tablet by mouth with the morning meal.
“Oh my god, Eren. I’m so sorry, I-”
You pull back, sitting down on the bench, as you dig your fingers into your temples, trying to stop that pulsating feeling under your skin. The rage, the feeling, coursing through you so hard that you can’t even pick what you’re mad at.
You’re breathing panic in and out, chest heaving, as Eren takes a seat next to you, leaning his elbows on his knees. And the feeling, it lands on feeling overwhelmingly embarrassed. Because Eren’s not doing drugs, he’s taking anti-anxiety pills.
“Eren. I’m so sorry. That was so horrible of me, I thought it was-”
“You thought it was like Connie.” he finishes
“Yeah. And I’m sorry for assuming, I just-”
“I’m not mad at you. You were just trying to take care of me. I appreciate it.”
You groan, embarrassment still coursing through you, as you lean your forehead straight against the piano, the smell of the ink on Eren’s book permeating your nose.
“Do you remember that birthday party of mine I told you about? When I was ten, at my old house in New York? It was when we were in Australia.”
You nod.
“I remember feeling it. A paralyzing block in my chest, like I couldn’t move. And when I was able to move, it was only because it all came rushing to me, so panicked, so fast that I-I didn’t even register what happened.”
He was barely even ten. You lift your hands to his shoulders, squeezing hard, as he continues.
You’re here and you’ve got him.
“I didn’t tell anyone. I thought something was wrong with me. I thought that people feel this way, that it’s normal, but I just felt too much of it. That I just can’t handle things the way normal people do.”
You frown, reaching up to cup the side of his face. Your fingers brush over his dimples, soft under your fingers, as you talk.
“Eren. There is nothing wrong with you. That’s just an anxiety attack.” you whisper.
You’re not sure what it is about what you said but when you look up, there are soft tears flowing down Eren’s cheek, the voice coming out of his mouth so garbled you can barely understand what he’s saying.
“Hey, Eren.” you whisper,
“No. No, no. Stop.”
Eren stands up, retreating to the other side of the piano, where he’s leaning over, his entire frame heaving up and down as you walk to his side.
“Why are you-”
“I don’t want you to help me. You shouldn’t be helping me.” he says, his voice shuddering.
“Why not?” you ask, frowning.
“I’ve been horrible to you. I don’t deserve your help. You-you should be cussing me out, so mad that you can’t stand me, that you want me to suffer and you’re not. And it’s agonizing for me that you aren’t.”
You walk up behind him, wrapping your arms around him from the back, as you feel him sigh. You lean your cheek flat against his shoulder, squeezing as hard as you can as Eren continues to cry, fists clenched so tight on the piano that white.
“You’re not you and I’m not me. We agreed on that.” you murmur.
“Y/N. We can’t-”
“Who?”
He snickers, amidst his tears, as he turns around, and you slot your arms under his. You can feel his heart thumping under your ear, loud and fast, as you place your hand over the spot. The two of you stay that way for some time, Eren's tears falling onto you, as you try your best to remedy whatever it is that's burning inside of him.
“Just calm down and breathe. Falco says it always helps to talk about something else, when he feels like this.”
He tenses at the mention of Falco, which you realize was a mistake.
“Why were you in here?” you ask.
“The Bodt’s asked me to write a song for the service.”
The perfect distraction.
“Can you sing it for me?” you ask.
He looks down, green eyes - full and round - as he nods, shuffling towards the piano bench as you take the seat next to him. You can see that the lyrics are scribbled on the book resting against the stand, the paper stiff from blotches of Eren’s tears. He starts playing the piano, his voice echoing on the walls of the set.
And if I didn't know better I'd think you were talking to me now If I didn't know better I'd think you were still around What died didn't stay dead What died didn't stay dead You're alive, you're alive in my head What died didn't stay dead What died didn't stay dead You're alive, so alive
You rest your hands against the keys next to his, slowly following his pace, as he continues to sing, the hum of his voice filling the air. You can’t help but think it. That he’s beautiful. That this is your Eren, miles away from whoever he was when you saw him last.
I should've asked you questions I should've asked you how to be Asked you to write it down for me Should've kept every grocery store receipt 'Cause every scrap of you would be taken from me
You can feel the tears flowing down your cheeks now, straight onto the piano keys and your hands, as you cry.
And if I didn't know better I'd think you were singing to me now If I didn't know better I'd think you were still around I know better But I still feel you all around I know better But you're still around
When you and Eren get to the service, you walk hand in hand to the piano. And play the song together, for Marco and Marco only.
--
You knock on the door, padding into the room to find Levi, hunched over his computer and leaning his hand on his cheek. You take the seat next to him, crossing your legs against the chair, as he looks over at you, expressionless.
“I’m leaving tomorrow.” you say.
Four days after the funeral and all of them have cleared out. Forced to go back to wherever they were before, to push down the beating pain and move forward. The grief, perhaps it did suspend reality for the rest of you. Leave you to pretend that nothing that happened was real, that you were still teenagers running around on this set together.
That wasn’t how it was for Levi. Because in almost a week of being there, he had yet to talk to you with a straight face.
“What are you working on, Levi?” you ask, cracking your knuckles.
He turns the laptop towards you, one of the old hard drives from the earlier seasons pulled up on his computer. He plays the video, one of Jean sitting in a chair behind the green backdrop.
“Okay, Jean. Tell me your goal for the end of the show.” Levi asks.
The video, Jean must be barely sixteen, wearing one of the old costumes from season one. You remember now, that Hange was insistent on documenting everything - that you all were going to grow up so fast that they should keep videos. Obviously, Hange is too disorganized to do it themselves, so Levi bit the bullet and did it for them.
“I don’t know. That’s so far away, Levi.” he groans, scrunching up his forehead.
“Just answer, Jean. Where do you see yourself at the end of the show, when you’re in your twenties?”
“With Mikasa.” he responds.
You both smile as Levi switches to the next videos, the two of you watching all of them in silence.
“I want to be myself. That’s all I want to be, not embarrassed or ashamed, I-I just want to be me.” Historia says, smiling into the camera.
“I don’t know. That’s a weird question, Levi.” Mikasa grumbles, glaring at him.
“You’re horrible, Mikasa. Jean said he wants to be with you.” Levi responds.
“Well, that’s a given. Of course, I’m going to be with Jean.” she responds, giving one last eye roll to the camera.
“Doing something important. That means something to people.” Connie responds.
You swallow hard, as you see Eren, fifteen and so smiley, as he crawlsl onto the little stool.
“My turn?” Eren asks, giving Levi a bright smile.
“Yes, kid. Your turn. Why else would you be sitting here?”
“Okay. This is a secret so don’t tell anyone.” he says.
“I’m not broadcasting to a news channel, Eren. Just hurry up, I still have to get through half of you.”
Eren nods, reaching up to fix his hair, before he talks - his voice filled with that confident resolve, that one he always sported when he was fifteen.
“I want to get the Best Actor in a Lead role award. And on the same night, I want Y/N to become a triple threat. And then I want us to tell her that I told her so. Me and her, at the top.” he says, giving the camera a bright smile, before jumping off.
The next one is of you, what you said being entirely lost to you in your memories.
“What do I want to do when I'm in my twenties? Hm.” you echo.
“Today would be nice.” Levi deadpans.
“Well, I don’t know! That’s so broad. I want to be doing stuff like this. Acting, making music, To have people enjoy the work I make, and making it with my friends, like Eren and Mikasa and Armin. I want to be here, more than anything. It feels so right to me, that I get to do this. It’s special, it’s a privilege and I’m really thankful I get to do it.”
“Note to anyone watching. This is one of our only kids with manners.” Levi says, setting the camera down to give you a hug.
You bite down on your cheek, looking over at Levi, as he plays the last one. Of Marco.
“Okay, Marco. What do you want to do when you’re in your twenties?”
“Well. I know what I’m going to be doing.” Marco says, crossing his arms against his chest.
“Oh, yeah? What’s that?”
“See. Spoiler alert, but Hange and Levi just killed me off this show. But we made a deal. That I get to be in each season, even if its a super minor role like a flashback or whatever. So in my twenties, I’ll be here. Surrounded by all my childhood best friends, making this show that’s always meant so much to us.”
You swallow hard as Levi wraps his arms around you, the two of you watching Marco’s smiley face disappear from the screen.
“So I’ll see you in four months? For season four?”
“Damn right you will.” you respond.
And for the first time in a week, Levi breaks a smile.
“Good.”
--
next part linked here
an, again: SEASON FOUR ERA (this shit abt to be so awkward when they're not all sad/grieving )
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Firsts - Laugh
Anna’s firsts, a series of fluffy drabbles set in the One Day at a Time universe.
Rating: Explicit, 18+ Series tags: The Last of Us, The Last of Us (HBO), Joel Miller x f!OFC, soft!Joel, no really super soft!Joel, Joel is a sap, smut, smut but no one gets to finish :(, babies are assholes, Ellie is a little shit, use of the terms crotch nugget and vaginal dumpling, ew, fluff, fluffy baby stuff, no really this is sickeningly sweet, tooth-rotting, don't forget to brush your teeth Word count: 1.7k
Notes: Oops, I made it smutty. Sickly sweet with a dash of humor and smut, nary an angsty cloud in sight. Joel thinks of Sarah but it's not sad.
You can also read Firsts on AO3.
Joel rarely misses the QZ; the crowding, the starvation, the shit-shoveling, the hopelessness that clung to the place like a skunk’s spray. But once in a blue moon, he longs for the kind of anonymity he’ll never find in the commune of Jackson, Wyoming.
Like today, when he’s picking up his share of spring vegetables at the greenhouse after work. Because Marjorie, the nice old lady who lives three houses down, the one who works as a nurse at the clinic, has a message to pass along with his bag of greens.
“Oh, Joel! You’re clear!”
“M’sorry?”
“Your sample! It came back clear,” she smiles, then offers a clarifying stage whisper. “No sperm. Thought you’d want to know.”
He blinks, instinctively looking downward. He’s still wearing pants. This isn’t one of those mortifying dreams he used to get, back when his worst fear was showing up to work with his fly open.
As if it wasn’t bad enough he’d had to walk a cup of his jizz to the clinic in a paper bag and hand it directly to his elderly neighbor.
As if he hadn’t blushed like a school kid when Marjorie had accepted it way too loudly and cheerfully like she couldn’t wait to get the stuff under a microscope.
As if he hadn’t sat on the couch with an ice pack on his groin for two days while Ellie teased him mercilessly about his junk.
But now he’s shooting blanks. And thanks to Marjorie, everyone in the vicinity of the greenhouse—a not-insignificant number of people given Jackson’s tiny size—knows it.
He can’t get out of there fast enough.
He slams his way into the house, kicks off his boots by the door, the bag of vegetables landing with a thud on the counter.
“The hell, dude?” Ellie pops up from the couch, gesturing at the portable crib nearby. “You’re gonna wake your crotch nugget.”
Ellie’s new favorite thing is to find the crudest nicknames for Anna and coo them at her in a sing-song voice until the baby grins. Anna probably can’t hear her, it’s probably just the sheer joy on Ellie’s face every time she does it, but it always seems to work. For all of Joel’s protests, Ellie and her foul mouth can make the kid smile like no one else.
“That’s awf—don’t—don’t call her that,” he winces, checking on the baby, who remains blissfully asleep despite his racket.
Ellie eyes him, his scowl deeper than usual, a flush of embarrassment still creeping up the back of his neck.
“Who pissed in your cereal?”
“No one,” he grumbles. “M’goin’ upstairs.”
“Sure, and leave me with the womb rat.“
“Ellie—“
“It’s fine,” she waves him off, collapsing back on the couch with a dramatic sigh. “Free babysitting, that’s all I’m good for.”
Joel looks to the crib and then pointedly to Ellie, sighing. “She’s asleep. I’m here now. You’re free to go anytime.”
“And miss all this?” she snarks, waving her hand around. “Whatever.”
“Jesus Christ,” he mutters, trudging up the stairs.
The bedroom door is closed. He cracks it open and finds Charlie sitting cross-legged on the bed in what she lovingly calls her “tits out” position, breast pump in one hand and a book in the other, frowning intently at her reading material. She barely looks up when he enters.
Her presence in his life still catches him by surprise. Her smaller, softer clothes alongside his in the closet, her flowery lavender soap in the shower, filaments of silver hair threaded into their bedding.
“Hey,” he murmurs, and all his earlier humiliation is forgotten at the sight of her. She looks fucking amazing. Topless, hair mussed, wearing a pair of his gray sweats, bare feet poking out of the rolled-up cuffs, effortlessly comfortable and vulnerable and his . A pleasant heat crawls through his belly and he actually starts salivating like a goddamned dog.
He’s a hopeless case.
A hopeless case who’s shooting blanks.
Maybe this day can be salvaged after all.
“Kid’s nappin’,” he murmurs in a low voice he hopes sounds seductive.
“Hmm?” Charlie says, not taking her eyes off her book. Must be a good one.
“Anna’s out,” he says, unbuttoning his shirt, unable to take his eyes off her as he crawls onto the bed. “The, uh…vasectomy worked.”
“Uh-huh,” she murmurs, chewing on her plush lower lip. Then she blinks, finally turning her attention to him. “Wait, what?”
“Vasectomy worked,” he says easily as he plucks the book from her hand, creases the page corner to mark her place, and sets it aside.
“How do you kn–”
“Don’t ask,” he grumbles, sliding forward and nuzzling at the base of her jaw. “Thought we could celebrate.”
“Oh?” She breathes a sweet little sigh into his good ear as he plants slow, soft kisses down her neck. He gently takes the pump away; it comes off her breast with an audible pop , and he immediately replaces it with his mouth, catching the last of her sweetness on his tongue.
“Ohhhh, that’s ni–wait wait, careful, don’t spill.”
He shoots her a look, then delicately sets the half-full bottle on the nightstand without taking his lips off her.
“Smooth,” she giggles wryly as he laves at her nipple, feeling it tighten against the soft, wet muscle of his tongue. Her laughter dissolves into a moan when his hand cups her other breast, tip slick with milk that he circles and rubs into her skin.
The whole fucking town might know about the status of his vas deferens , but this will make it more than worth it.
Charlie shimmies out of her sweats– his sweats, and she’s not wearing underwear, is she trying to fucking kill him? Or did they run out of clean laundry?
Whatever the reason, his jeans are suddenly painfully tight. He drags himself away and shucks them off, cock aching as it springs free. She’s already sliding down the bed, sliding under him, spreading her legs, touching herself. He wants to lick and taste and suck every part of her, but he settles for a nip to her inner thigh and a kiss to her stomach before he’s covering her body with his, hyper-aware of the tiny human alarm clock ticking downstairs.
Charlie reaches between them, angling her hips, rubbing his cock through her folds, guiding him home. She’s soft and warm as he sinks into her tight, wet grip. They stay like that for a moment, connected but not moving, breathing together, no barriers to dampen the sensation. Finally , he thinks dully. Finally .
“Hi,” she whispers, her soft smile and the achingly hot clutch of her making his brain go fuzzy around the edges until the only response he can muster is a grunt. He captures her lips in his, feeling the blissful wet slip of her in his mouth, the pulse of her tongue at the back of his teeth.
“Yesssss,” she sighs when his hips rock forward of their own volition, one deep thrust in and a slow, agonizing withdrawal that leaves him panting.
“Fuck, baby, so good,” he groans when he’s able to form words again. Not his most eloquent work, but it will have to do, because she’s sucking at his lower lip, swirling her tongue against it, teasing him with little pecks until he growls and threads his fingers through her hair, pulling the strands taut and anchoring her mouth to his.
She wraps her legs around him, urging him deeper, cradling him there. He pins her with his hips and presses her into the mattress, grinding hard against her until she moans, the sound reverberating through his chest and stomach and straight to his groin. A particularly deep thrust has her gripping at his shoulders, blunt nails leaving little marks on his skin.
“Fuck, Joel, right there, right–ahhhh,” she keens.
“Shh,” he pants, soothing her kiss-bruised lips with his, forehead pressed to hers. “Gotta…be quiet. Kid’s…downstairs.”
As if on cue, Ellie’s voice rings up the stairwell, a keyed-up kind of shrill that sends an unpleasant shiver down his spine.
“Joel!”
“Shit,” he hisses.
“Joel! Charlie!”
“We’re coming,” he barks, thinking they aren’t coming—not now, anyway—and that’s a goddamn shame. He plants an apologetic kiss at Charlie’s temple before he’s out of bed and rummaging around on the floor for his boxers.
He yanks on his underwear and flies down the stairs, half out of breath and fearing the worst.
“What? What’s wrong? What happened?”
Ellie is holding Anna, awake and bright-eyed, both grinning with delight.
“She laughed!”
“She–what?” Charlie is at his back now, wrapped in her robe.
“She fucking laughed, dude! C’mon, do it again! Show ‘em!”
Anna smiles and coos, spit bubbles popping at the corner of her little mouth.
“I swear she just did it,” Ellie says. “Come on, bug, let’s hear it. Show your mama and dad what you can do.”
She sticks out her tongue, lightly bouncing Anna up and down until the baby gives a happy little gurgle…but no laugh.
“Ugh, kid, you’re killing me here!”
Joel clears his throat. “Uh, I’m gonna go–”
“Wait!” Ellie cries, eyes lighting up. She pulls the baby close until their noses are almost touching. Her voice is an exaggerated whisper.
“ Vaginal dumpling !”
Joel groans. “For fuck’s sake, Ellie–”
He’s cut off by the sound of Anna’s unmistakable belly laugh, a riotous cackle that wraps its tiny fingers around Joel’s heart and steals the breath from his lungs.
She sounds so much like Sarah that it hurts, but it’s a good pain, a healing pain. The notes carry on the air like a memory set free from somewhere deep and dark and long forgotten.
He wants to hear her laugh again and again and again.
“There it is!” Ellie whoops, bringing him back, anchoring him to the present. “I knew you could do it, ya little crotch goblin!”
She turns to them, smug and pleased with herself. Then she pauses, her grin fading into a grimace as she takes in the sight of her father and Charlie, rumpled and half-dressed.
“Joel? Where the fuck are your clothes?”
Anna’s laugh rings out again, loud and clear and perfect.
#fanfic#joel miller#the last of us#the last of us hbo#smut#babyfic#family fluff#fluff#ellie williams#joel miller x oc
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🎶 H/D Wireless Fic 🎶
📻 every scrap of you (you left them all to me)
🎵 Explicit, 54,191 ❗ Warnings/Tags: Graphic Depictions of Violence, EWE, Falling In Love, Courting, Artist Draco Malfoy, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Blood Curses, Legilimency, Improper use of Legilimency, Memory Alterations, Memory Magic, Dark Magic, Blood Magic, Grief/Mourning, Temporary Character Loss, Comatose Draco Malfoy, Brief Mention of Mpreg, Brief Suicidal Thoughts, Smoking, Drinking, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Public Blow Jobs, Light Dom/sub 🎵 Song Prompt: marjorie by Taylor Swift
🎵 Summary:
Twelve years on from the war, Harry finds himself in an endless cycle of bedding Draco Malfoy, and waking up alone. Desperate to understand why Draco won't give him a chance to be something more, he commits to courting the slippery blond git. But there's a reason Draco can't fall for him, and Harry will go to the darkest depths to change that.
Read on AO3
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Speaker of the House Vote 2025 - The Disaster that Could Have Been
For anyone who wants to nope out early. Mike Johnson, Republican representative of Louisiana, won on the first vote. Not... without weirdness, but he did technically achieve speakership one vote 1.
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Welcome back to hell friends. For those who were not here in 2023 and or need a refresher, here's the rundown.
After an election year (every 2 years) congress is called into session with it's new members elect (and returning incumbent members). The new members need to be sworn in, the rules of congress need to be agreed upon, and a bunch of other minutia that goes on to get congress working.
To start that they need a LEADER PERSON (Speaker of the house). LEADER PERSON gets to decide when and what to vote on, who to appoint to special committees and should generally be someone that a lot of people can work with as they are in charge of EVERYONE not just their party.
So the VERY FIRST THING congress needs to do is elect a LEADER PERSON w all the currently elect representatives.
They will need
a majority of their 435 members there to vote (aka a quorum)
Nominated representatives (kinda more of a formality as some will vote for who the fuck ever even if not nominated)
More than half of the votes LITERALLY by ONE vote - 218 votes
ISSUES WITH THIS VOTE
Razor thin Republican majority - 219 Republicans vs 215 Democrats
Neither side will be voting for the other
Republicans can only lose ONE VOTE
One rep (Massey) already outright said he WILL NOT vote for Johnson
There are at least 7 Republicans (including above) who were vocally against voting for Johnson
Votes no are usually in the hopes of getting on commitees or getting their pet projects more air time
There are some delicate rules about the vote numbers - ie if too many people do not vote or vote present the overall number to win gets lowered
If enough people don't vote or vote present we TECHNICALLY could get the Democrat leader in as speaker but republicans SUPER don't want that and it would be career suicide to be the reason it happened
GENERAL THINGS THAT HAVE LED UP TO THIS
While 2023 was legit the shitiest showiest of shit shows with them not being able to decide on a speaker - it has happened in the past and is not... the strangest thing but doesn't bode well for actual governing happening.
Trump HAS backed Mike Johnson - which SHOULD help some of his weird diehard supporters who are reps to fall in line
Mike Johnson is one of those creepy christians (most likely is in support and actively trying to push for project 2025 stuff, has a PORN ACCOUNTABILITY APP AND HIS ACCOUNTABILIBUDDY IS HIS SON...)
Johnson has said point blank he will NOT be negotiating with far right Republicans for a vote
Marjorie Taylor Green was not reelected
Matt Gaetz WAS reelected but had resigned to try and be attorney General for Trump - that backfired as he'd been under investigation over illicit drug use, perhaps illegal acquiring of fire arms, and HUMAN TRAFFICKING WITH A TOUCH OF STATUTORY RAPE - enough of congress revolted and voted to release the documents on the investigation so he backed out of the Attorney General nomination and said he wouldn't return to congress THANK. FUCK. (tho it looks like one of the weirdass right wing news groups offered him a show)
Trump has twice now gotten Republicans to nuke their own bills that they worked on BIPARTISANLY cause he doesn't like them (this time being more Musks fault but still) causing frustration to the members and Johnson but he's still falling in line
(Hilariously as everyone was arriving CSPAN Shifted over to the Senate who had JUST EASILY FINISHED ELECTING Michael Thoon (Repub.) AS THEIR SPEAKER. Kamala was swearing in the new senators and seeing and hearing her after the loss of the election was kind of a gut punch.)
TIME TO CONVENE
We do prayer w the lady Chapelin, good to see she's still there. Non-denominational and overall good message but as a recovering catholic ew.
There is a bald white man who comes up. He is the clerk - clerks run congress for the time they do not have a speaker. All they can do is tell congress to convene for the vote or disperse.
Calls the room to order, takes a bunch of times and gavel bangs. 433 Have marked themselves as present (but there's always ppl who come late). It's packed to the gills, as a lot of members (especially newly elected ones) will bring their families to watch them get sworn in.
Representatives of our territories (ie. the Virgin Islands, Puerto Rico, Native nations) were recognized (I don't remember this from last time and they are not allowed to vote so idk what this was but cool that they're there)
A quorum is called and there is a call for nominations (aka dumbass speeches from the reps)
REPUBLICAN - McClain of Michigan (how dare you come from MY STATE)
She indicates she will be nominating Johnson - there is halfhearted applause and weird cheering?? That could be jeers?? very odd
She did the general Republican talking points they like to lie about (crime, border, vets, bullshit) saying they needed to get back to normal
I MAY be reading into it but the line of normal gives me "PLEASE BE NORMAL AND VOTE ONE TIME IDIOTS" vibes...
Everyone can look forward knowing that America will be respected again - LAUGHABLE
Refers to Traditional American values as what most Americans care about -half hearted claps lolll fuck u
We should be making the American life easier - YEAH YOU SHOULD
Saying Johnson ain’t perfect but no one is!!!! Small changes!!! We can’t all get what we want!!!! We could be celebrating what we’ve gotten done!!!!
Said as Chairwoman of the unified house republican conference we are ready to govern (Oooookay?)
Presents Johnson??? Everyone gets up and applauds again weird yaaayyy in the background - like imagine halfhearted crowd voiceovers from early anime’s
DEMOCRAT - Aguilar of California (did a number of the nomination speeches during 2023's shit show)
He comes up and jokes he's had "a little bit of practice" which gets cheers
Acknowledges rep McClain of Michigan for giving a good speech (which is kind of him)
Notes that the dems aren't the majority but says that they do have the rise on the "Governing" majority of the house reps (actually a scalding burn - basically saying that the Republicans don't govern)
References the struggles of the working class saying the American ppl want them working together on the affordability crisis
Oddly saying only Jeffries knows this struggle? Or is the only leader to know this struggle??? V strange
OH DIP SAYS JEFFRIES IS THE ONLY LEADER WHO KNOWS HOW TO MAKE A DEAL AND STICK To THAT DEAL AHAHA BURN (referencing the multiple bipartisan bills that Trump and or Elon have had the republicans nuke for no other reason than they didn't like it)
Committed to bipartisanship and common sense shit for America
Says Dems kept govt funded and Americans protected (ofc implying that Repubs DID NOT)
Incoming administration needs to know we gotta compromise and they won’t get shit through without us so you gotta work w us (mildly threatening but true as they only have a 4 person majority)
Make no mistake Dems want to bring down cost of living, health, and do the most good for the most people
Talks about freedom and protecting Democracy. Leads into how we supported Ukraine (yay) and Israel (ooookay let’s not bring themmm uppppppp)
Does a call and response saying that when faced with tax cuts for the wealthy, Jeffries didn’t just say no he said -pause- Dems repsond “hell no”
THE PRIDE OF BROOKLYN (OKAY LOL)
Normal cheers and applause lolll sucks to suck Johnson
Chanting Hakeem (okay friends)
Clerk calls for any other nominations and no one answers. Names ppl to take votes. CUTE OLD LADY IN A POWDER BLUE BLAZER YES MA'AM
I had even less patience for the ppl saying more than a name today
VOTING TIME
We are going to go by the standard that democrats all voted for Jeffries, and unless specified Republicans voted for Johnson. I will be making note of odd votes, MIA when called, and obviously defectors.
CSPAN is doing a cool thing where they’re dipping down he audio of the floor when a name is called but boosting it when they’re voting, well done!!!
Barret - MIA when called loll then asked if they said Barret or Barrets (sir???) Then votes Johnson
Biggs of Arizona - MIA when called
Biggs if NC - "pres trump endorsed candidate, Mike Johnson" (lady shut up)
Boebert - says “*something* Mr speaker Mike Johnson” MA'AM SHUT UP
Burgette - “the gentleman um” pauses and looks over somewhere “of Louisiana, Mike Johnson” if you’re gonna just fall in line don’t call attention to yourself dipshit
Carson - MIA when called
Cloud - MIA when called
Clyde - MIA when called
Crochet - said something long for Jeffries, ur great ma'am but pls don’t make this longer
Fallon - the 4th district of Texas votes proudly for Mike Johnson - No ONE CAAAARES SIR
Gosar - MIA when called loll
Green of TX (DEM)- does his long speech he usually does, someone started booing, order was called and and ppl are laughing. Order kept being called?? He sat??? Did vote for Jeffries but that was odd
Harris of Maryland - MIA when called
Cheers when Jeffries votes for himself ofc
Johnson gets almost too enthusiastic cheers when he votes for himself
Lambert - yells THE HONORABLE MIKE JOHNSON you’re not cool
Luna - MAGA Mike Johnson (gross)
Massey - Tom Emmer *Johnson cannot lose another vote (a rumble of chatter goes through the crowd) ohohoho he did it)
McGuire - something about president Trump and 10000 electoral votes Johnson???
Norman - JIM JORDAN (LOLL SIR IS THIS 2023??? HELLOO)
Distressed/excited chatter as it would appear Johnson just lost
Pelosi - votes Jeffries gets cheers (more likely because she's returning after emergency hip surgery from a fall)
Self - Donalds (LOL OH SHIT) MORE CHATTER
Walz - MIA when called
Round of voting finished - but before the Recall of the MIA Voters can happen,
The lady from the Virgin Islands asked to be heard saying, mr speaker, all the Representatives weren’t called. Pointing out the Reps of the US Territories represent 4 million Americans (fair fair) gets applause. Mr speaker collectively the territories have the largest number of veterans in the country. She’s asked if she has a question. She asks why the reps of the territories weren’t called. She gets jeered at. She said it will only take a moment have some respect. Ooooooo she asks why they weren’t called. He explains they “aren’t qualified” and explains the dumbass rules. People jeer her and she says we have a 'colonies and territories' problem and what should have been temprorary - jeering cuts her off. The guy gavels her to shut up and applause happens. Seems rude to applaud her being silenced when she's making a good point.
Recall of the MIA Votes
Biggs AZ - Johnson
Carson - Jeffries
Cloud - Johnson
Clyde - Still MIA weird
Gosar - Also still MIA????
Harris of Maryland - Johnson
Roy - Johnson
Walz - Johnson (loll clerk had to be reminded to call him)
Clerk calls for anyone who didn’t vote (or who wants to change) to come to the well
Clyde recalled again??? - maybe finally says Johnson?? Gosar - Johnson (where were you two???)
CLYDE CALLED AGAIN FINALLY A WOMANS VOICE SAYS JOHNSON???
VOTE OVER - TABULATING VOTES
While tabulating CSPAN has the title of ‘ REP. JOHNSON (R-LA) DOES NOT HAVE THE VOTES TO BE ELECTED SPEAKER; SECOND VOTE EXPECTED’ delicious
Notes from the talking heads of CSPAN lol
Almost all parties used to have at least 1 defector vote until 2023
They HAVE to have a speaker in by jan 6 as that’s the day the president votes have to be counted and without a speaker congress can’t be sworn in making them incapable of counting the pres. vote
Johnson and co gathered in corner w Norman and Self. They are most likely trying to get them to agree to vote Johnson by promising something - LOOLLL when Cspan pointed it out they leave the floor (not shady at all)
First vote is still open and could be changed - if both guys change he could win first vote
Johnson comes back, chats w Jeffries, goes up to the clerk
Self and Norman are down in the well (where you can come up and change your vote)
Gavel is being banged - To change their vote the counters of the vote have to say who they intially voted for and who they are changing their vote to
NORMAN - SWITCHED TO JOHNSON NOOOOOO
Chatter - gaveled to order pbbbtbtbt
SELF CHANGED TO JOHNSON NOOOOoooooooo boooooooooooo
Johnson wins :/
Dumb slow cheering and whistling ( I hate whistlers -squints & grumbles-)
There was a question as to if it’d been fully counted yet but they let them change it. While I appreciate not having the circus that was 2023, I will say I kinda wanted them to have to revote. Just to sit in their own mess of it all.
Burchette (a repub.) says it was just a matter of principals or philosophy?????? And said he voted for Johnson cause he “never lied to me and I know his philosophy” the hell does that MEAN
Cheers for getting 218, less enthused but still cheers for 215 for Jeffries, Tim Emmer counted as getting one vote (some weird silly yaaayyy cheers for that - Tim Emmer is the Republican whip)
Ugh I hate them all smiley and clapping for Johnson
Gaetz has “chosen not to be sworn in” and continues to not be here lol
FORMALITIES ENSUE
The Majority and Minority speakers and a handful of other reps are all called to leave and then reenter congress for the swearing in of it all. They do so. and then we are subjected to SPEECHES.
(my additions in green)
Hakeem Jeffries (Minority leader goes first) - SPEECH HIGHLIGHTS
Says hi to Johnson but immediately says it’s nice to see Pelosi back (she gets cheers cause she survived the hip surgery).
Ew we’re referencing the Bible pbbbtt.
America is too expensive. Yes sir.
We will work with anyone. (Says a version of that over and over.)
We will work w anyone to secure our borders EW SIR anyone to fix our broken immigration system in a comprehensive and bipartisan matter.
But we will push back on extremism whenver necessary.
Social security and medicare are not entitlement programs they are earned benefits. (Earned shouldn’t mean PAYING FOR THEIR LIFE but okay)
Never gonna let them take away social security ever.
Not acceptable to cut (list of social services).
Keep your hands off social security and medicare.
AYYY said it was an honor to serve alongside biden and Harris and to save the country from a pandemic. Get’s booed and I’m not saying they did but suck it.
Jeffries acknowledges that trump won, gorss cheering from Repubs. He thanked them for the applause lol.
Then said there’s no election deniers on our side ooooooooooo burn.
Said that some of the incoming administration thought “The freedom of economic equality that made them wealthy should no longer apply.” Damn go off.
The line of one america and freedom/liberties and justice for all, that’s the America that dems will fight to preserve.
Jeffries then has to announce Johnson. Does so by talking about Johnson, saying facts but decent things about him. Honestly fairly nice to hear him talk up that Johnson APPEARS to be a decent man to those he respects.
Johnson is announced and he gets cheered.
James MICHAEL (Mike wow) Johnson - SPEECJ HIGHLIGHTS (or lowlights as it were)
Grateful for the nomination and election and is honored in the trust he was given (loll kay, almost got nuked). Asks for a moment of silence for the lousiana situation and sure but also for the ooooother state????
LOLLL talks about honoring spouses and about how his wife didn’t make it last time cause it was sudden but she’s here now. Oookay. Kids are asked to stand too. Thanks family for the thankless job of being the family of congresspeople huh.
Mmmmmm going back 250 years, history lesson timeeee bleh.
“Freedom is never Free” -glares-
“We are the envy of the world” nnnnno nope don’t think so.
Principles of the country need to be preserved, he calls it the 7 core principles of conservatism but says they’re just for the nation.
Better to give a hand up than a hand out. - HEINOUS SIR
Innovation thrives when democracy dies. And HUMANS DIE WHEN REGULATIONS ARE AVOIDED.
"we have a mandate." YOU. DO NOT. It was. So goddamn close. Fuck you.
Borders, inflation, “”weak leadership”” blahblahblah. Border issues. HAHAHAH says finally finish the border wall. WILL YOU SIR?????
THEN jabs at Jeffries and says you said you’d work with us on that Hakeem, I’m counting on it. Stupid laughs from crowd.
Promises to extend trump tax cuts
Restore america’s energy dominance??? Repeats dominance. Why do men always gotta fjkdlsajg
Eliminate the green new deal (coooool. It never got put in place???)
Loll references Social Justice warriors. Is this 2018 again??? Calls it madness and that they have to put an end to it. OOOOooookay. Reinstate fear in our enemies, somehting about lethality wowwowowowow.
Thinks the congress if filled w men and women who are okay w common sense and that they’ll return to it
Inter faith prayer service. Jeffries did a passage from dueteronomy.
He did a prayer that President Thomas Jefferson did
President Thomas Jefferson repeated this prayer every day of his presidency?????? Says he's going to recite it not to pray but to share w them. "Almighty God, Who has given us this good land for our heritage; We humbly beseech Thee that we may always prove ourselves a people mindful of Thy favor and glad to do Thy will. Bless our land with honorable ministry, sound learning, and pure manners. Save us from violence, discord, and confusion, from pride and arrogance, and from every evil way. Defend our liberties, and fashion into one united people, the multitude brought hither out of many kindreds and tongues. Endow with Thy spirit of wisdom those whom in Thy name we entrust the authority of government, that there may be justice and peace at home, and that through obedience to Thy law, we may show forth Thy praise among the nations of the earth. In time of prosperity fill our hearts with thankfulness, and in the day of trouble, suffer not our trust in Thee to fail; all of which we ask through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen." The prayer is ballsy from a nation built on THEFT
CALLED TRUMP SURVIVING THE ASSISNATION ATTEMPT PROVINENCE THAT SPARED HIS LIFE. I’M. S O R R Y. BUT I REFUSE TO BELIEVE GOD HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH THAT ONE
I don't remember if he ended is speech soon after or if I just stopped listening cause it was making me irate and uncomfortable. I'd apologize but I promise the speeches aren't really worth our time.
MORE CSPAN TALKING HEADS NOTES
Threshold for vacate is back to 9 members
ALTHOUGH THEY WANT TO PUT A RULE THROUGHT THAT A MOTION TO VACATE CAN ONLY BE DONE BY THE RULING PARTY WITH 9 VOTES. The oppsing party (right now Dems) have to do a regular process of requestiong a motion - this seems very ill advised and detrimental but I can't say that Gaetz's motion to vacate was not also detrimental.... but it was friendly fire???? idk
Repub. Virginia Fox from NC REPORTED to have fallen down marble steps at the capitol??? Bleeding profusely but concious and fine???? HELLO????
Ohhhh there was a previous guy has been called to vacate before McCarthy but didn’t get fully kicked out by vote
TAKEAWAYS
Johnson appears to be slightly more bipartisan and able to work if not with then not horrifically against the Dems. However he is still beholden and falling in line with Trump. He is also a zealously religious man who would like to impose his religious rules on everyone. May be in line with Project 2025. And at the end of the day is still a Republican.
It was not nearly as bad as McCarthy, but still shows fissures in the foundation of their congressional relationships. Apparently many of the MIA votes were purposefully done by Republicans to show that they have sway and that with this small of a Majority they will HAVE to be worked with.
They're still a shit show, they just kept it under mild control today.
#I will do a shorter TLDR bare bones votes breakdown later or tomorrow#this was just my initial visceral reaction#honestly ended up bumming me out#need to probably not listen to the speeches#speaker of the house vote 2025#United States Politics#US Politics#Political O'Clock
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Comic Log: Fall Reads
A selection of comics I read during the season!
Immortal Hulk by Al Ewing and Joe Bennett: Salivating over this series like a madwoman. Very rewarding if you have familiarity with the Hulk as a character but also immensely satisfying on its own. A mix of body, cosmic, supernatural and psychological horror that uses those elements to explore the different social and personal meanings of anger and its relationship to human suffering.
Favorite Arc/Issue: Lots of competition but "Hulk in Hell," which sees Hulk in his initial confrontation with the One Below All manifesting in his abusive father, is high up there.
Gotham Central by Ed Brubaker and Greg Rucka: Has no right to be as good as it is. A weaker and less thoughtful comic would let the police be constantly or regularly victorious, a triumphalism incongruent with the larger depiction of Gotham in the Batman mythos. Instead we get a police procedural about failure, about how the goodness vanishes or shrinks inside an institution, about how it feels to be fighting against such an all-encroaching corruption that you can only shadowbox - an evil that only a symbol, a myth, can defeat. Also highly intertextual in an enjoyable way, particularly with Greg Rucka's other DC Comics work.
Favorite Arc/Issue: Another bounty of choices, but the bleakness of "Half a Life," which sees Renee Montoya outed by Two-Face, is a personal favorite. The two "Corrigan" arcs that mark the midpoint and conclusion of the series are also very good and thematically pointed.
Black Widow by Mark Waid and Chris Samnee: A perfectly enjoyable spy comic that doesn't do anything more interesting than Marjorie Liu and Daniel Acuña's shorter and more engrossing "Name of the Rose" story, with significantly flimsier character writing. However, Samnee's art and action are very dynamic, and beautifully colored by Matt Wilson. Perfectly fine popcorn comic.
Punisher by Greg Rucka and Marco Checchetto: Not my favorite story - Punisher or otherwise - but the creative team is able to effectively make the Punisher seem more like a spectral urban myth, a killing corpse, which I think is the kind of characterization decision that is necessary to make Punisher stories interesting and non-repulsive at all. Binding Castle's story to another person is the usual trick, and Rucka's deployment of Rachel Alves is a good choice.
Action Comics by Phillip Kennedy Johnson (and Superman and the Authority by Grant Morrison and Mikel Janin): The first half of this run is now one of my favorite Superman comics, the "Warworld Saga," which sees a Superman with waning powers heading off-world with a ragtag strike force to liberate the planet of Warworld and rescue a refugee group. This portion of the run allows Johnson to explore the character's Mosaic qualities through a role as liberator, as well as to cut to the heart of him by stripping away all the trappings while he and the team are defeated, depowered, and imprisoned or scattered. The wrap-up is not quite neat enough for my liking, but overall it's very strong pulp fiction with a lot of interesting science-fantasy ideas and a great alternative look at the character that introduces some solid changes (like Superman adopting two refugee children).
Unfortunately Johnson's run is more inconsistent upon Clark's return to Earth, where he tries to take on a more activist role through various means. While there's a very strong arc centered around Metallo, the closer Johnson gets to topical political issues, the more the series fumbles. After Warworld, Johnson's main emphasis is critiquing anti-migrant attitudes and violence, but his approach is...a little banal. This culminates when the conclusion has Superman defeat an other-dimensional sorceress, who has been covertly promoting racist anti-alien politics to advance her project of...invading and conquering our dimension. It's kind of bizarrely self-contradictory and also does a disservice to the weight of the subject it's dealing with.
We also got a Grant Morrison miniseries that fills in how Superman went about recruiting his Warworld strike team, which I feel neutral-positive towards. The art is nice, some of the character writing is quite strong, but ultimately it's a very rushed and bloated work with a little too much going on, and it would be nice if it was more tied into Johnson's work. I always think Morrison is at their best when they have prolonged time to take advantage of serialization (i.e. Doom Patrol) or when they have to do it within a singular vision (i.e. Arkham Asylum). Their series with three to six issues usually leave me colder, and that holds here.
Favorite Arc/Issue: Favorite arcs are the "Warworld Saga" and the shorter "House of Metallo."
The Many Deaths of Laila Starr by Ram V and Filipe Andrade: Beautifully drawn and colored, this creator-owned work sees Kali, Goddess of Death, cast out from divinity to inhabit the body of a recently deceased woman, and pursuing the man who is expected to invent human immortality. It ends up being an exploration of the social meaning of death - rituals, memories, relationships - with a supernatural twist. It's quite lovely, I just wish it was longer (and also had some more exploration of Laila, the woman who killed herself and whose body was assumed by Kali, as well as female characters in general).
Favorite Issue: My favorite issues were 2 and 3; the former a look at death rituals and casteism informing a relationship, and the latter from the perspective of a smoldering cigarette, an embodiment of entropy.
Daredevil by Mark Waid: Starts out with a strong premise and some really inventive artwork and lettering that better represents the titular character's "radar sense." Initially, it's unfortunately constrained by a few too many crossovers (though still enjoyable), and an intersecting problem is that I don't love the "Megacrime" plot that dominates the first quarter of the run. However, not long after Samnee comes on board, I think the series became one of my all time favorites.
My favorite aspect of Waid's writing is his grasp of character voices - his themes and plots are usually less impressive to me. That really shines through here with a take on Matt Murdock that downplays (but still incorporates) his Catholic guilt and depression, and instead emphasizes more of his affability, his cockiness, his disability, and his relationships. Also I really enjoy getting to see him do lawyer stuff again, particularly from an activist approach, after too long without that aspect of his life getting any attention.
Favorite Arc/Issues: Tough choice, and it does read best as one long story, but I'd say the "Purple Children" arc is a personal favorite and is kind of a thematic centerpiece of the run. The initial Megacrime arc - though the story ends up running too long - is also really enjoyable as it fulfills the premise of Matt as a legal coach to clients nobody else will touch.
Invincible Iron Man by Matt Fraction and Salvador Larocca: I don't love Iron Man comics, generally speaking, because the kinds of ideas and symbols the character carries aren't ones I find super interesting relative to other characters (liberal techno-progressivism, corporate espionage, anti-communism). However, I did enjoy this series overall, partially because of Larocca's weird air-brushed art (which isn't always kind to human characters, who can look a bit uncanny, but looks great in the action scenes and spreads), partially because it's a pretty dense text with a lot of moving parts and bold creative ideas (often inspired by now commonplace contemporaneous tech developments - the iPhone, drones, electric cars, etc.) and finally because it is willing to treat Tony Stark as what he is: a dick. But Fraction makes him an interesting dick, someone who is constantly in pursuit of rebuilding himself as something better and someone he doesn't have to hate. The main knock I have towards it is that there are so many different threads that they don't all get tied together in the neatest way, but such is the plight of serialization.
Favorite Arcs/Issues: "World's Most Wanted" puts Stark on the run from the full power of Norman Osborn's control over the US security state, and has to bounce around the globe making more enemies as he tries to incrementally delete his own brain.
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The family ties between some of my ocs and certain background characters
Fact: Alice has been taking care of Olympe since the death of their parents
#mod scilou Headcanon#Eddsworld#ew background characters#Eddsworld Katey#ew Katey#fan name tags ➡#Eddsworld Alice#ew Alice#Eddsworld Marjorie#ew Marjorie#Eddsworld Veronica#ew Veronica#Eddsworld Valentin#ew Valentin#Eddsworld ocs ➡#Eddsworld Olympe#ew Olympe#Eddsworld Olivia#ew Olivia#Eddsworld Valentina#ew Valentina
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favorite and least favorite comic writers?
favs: Grant Morrison, Jonathan Hickman, Al Ewing, Kelly Thompson, Jason Aaron, Jack Kirby, Denny O'Neil, Christopher Priest, Peter David, Vita Ayala, Alan Moore, Frank Miller but only in the 1980s, Mark Waid, Marjorie Liu
least favs: Mark Millar, Chuck Dixon, Zeb Wells but only because of what he's doing to Spider-Man, Marc Guggenheim. Dan Slott and Brian Michael Bendis are down there too but they’ve both got a couple things under their belt that I like.
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Who's your favorite comic writers?
Vita Ayala
Al Ewing
T. Coates
Hickman
Stephanie Williams
Marjorie Liu
Greg Pak
Eve Ewing
Tini Howard
Ryan North
NK Jemisin
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Nancy Drew Rewatch 102: The Secret of the Old Morgue
I swear to you guys I've watched this episode before and yet I had NO recollection of what happened in it
Re: George and Ryan, a hearty ew.
Jesus Marjorie Christ, Carson's extended series of lies. The prop dress lie was just....something else. TELL. HER. THE. TRUTH.
You know, if cops didn't loudly discuss sensitive details in a public place this murder would have taken a lot longer to solve.
Again, Nick, I love you but the "I'm only interested in the sex" clues are far from subtle.
The pre-Connor coroner! I love Connor. I love his distaste for Nancy.
Said this to @middleagedresidentofriverdale, but Carson defending the people of HSB to me has the same vibe as Bess defending the supernatural. I just wouldn't go that hard if I were you.
I get George's side of this argument, I really do, but I also think it's entirely reasonable to be suspicious of George in this? And pulling in the dead mom, a VERY fresh wound for Nancy, is kinda low...
Ace instantly switching gears from flirting to supportive of Bess and Lisbeth is adorable, as is his little "oh" expression.
First George and her crowbar appearance!
The Weed Guy plot and the Nick/Nancy plot are just...yeah, I'll be glad to see them go.
Nace staring again!
Also, ARMS.
Thank you for joining me for 102. On to 103!
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"...I genuinely believe (or at least desperately hope so) that most songs on folklore and evermore are fictional and the others are just things from her past."
The one is established to be about matty. There's speculation about other songs like; ivy, illicit affairs, august,... Songs from midnights aswell; maroon, glitch, labyrith. Also new romantics might be about matty.
I'm starting to think taylor can't write fictional stories. My tears riccochet is about scooter and her masters. Peace is obviously about her life. Marjorie and ephiphany are about family members who've died...
Apparently both matty and taylor have been secretly writing songs about each other for years.
I get your point, but I haven't been following Taylor's personal life so i can't say whether the songs on her previous albums are about Matty Healy but idk Taylor definitely is capable of writing fictional stories, even if they are diluted versions of her actual life I think those songs are much more enjoyable where I don't have to think ratty Healy 's "bedroom eyes like a remedy" ew. I adore folklore and relate to the album so much I'll just pretend it's all fictional so it isn't ruined for me lol. I do think that the midnights tracks are about Joe Alwyn. I'm not that into the 1975 so i can't say if there are any songs about her.
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Hello, I don't know if you saw, but yesterday on YouTube they released a video on the next series of X-Men comics (From The Ashes) that's coming out this summer. It looks like they're just going back to the classic storyline of the X-Men fighting to protect a world that hates and fears them. What I liked about Krakoa was that instead of mutants just struggling to survive, it gave them a place of their own where they could thrive and reach their full potential. However, it seems like no matter what they do, the X-Men always get kicked back to square one.
Yeah, I saw that. I think it's a bit more complicated than "going back to the classic storyline of the X-Men fighting to protect a world that hates and fears them." (To a significant extent, that's just describing the basic premise for the X-Men for most of their publication history.)
youtube
Rather, I would describe From the Ashes as evocative of the post-Outback, pre-Blue Team/Gold Team period at the tail end of the Claremont run, but with an aesthetic that's inspired by both the 90s comics (which makes sense, with X-Men '97 only days away) and the Bendis era.
For example, I would describe a scenario in which there is no Xavier School and there are multiple teams spread out from Alaska to Chicago to New Orleans to New York all pursuing different strategies for fighting for mutantkind as "back to basics."
Scott's team based out of Alaska is a more classic mutant rescue team, but it's being led by a visibly older Magneto in an Xavier-like chair, so there's definitely aspects of the "Revolutionary" Cyclops era there too. Kate and Emma's more youth-outreach team is somewhat evocative of the New Mutants or Generation X or Academy X, but the Chicago setting is more reminiscent of Claremont's somewhat controversial Mekanix book. And god only knows what NYX or X-Force or X-Factor are going to be about.
That being said, I am immensely excited about the new creative team. Marjorie Liu aside, women are almost never given the chance to write flagship X-books and here we have both the superb Gail Simone and the equally talented Eve Ewing (who is the first black woman to write a flagship X-book). And Jed MacKay has more than proven in his Black Cat and Moon Knight and Doctor Strange books that he's got an incredible knack for taking classic characters in compelling new directions.
I know you might be concerned about the marketing pitch, but this is not a team that's going to churn out meaningless nostalgia-bait fluff rather than tell real stories.
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I finally finished the Living World Season 1, I think over ten years after it was released!
I enjoyed the overall story more than I had recalled from the parts of it I did play back in the original release, though the endless Aetherblade respawns in "Escape from Lion's Arch" are intensely annoying. On the other hand, early career Snargle! <3
I'm trying to get over being annoyed, though, given how long I'd waited to see that first onscreen kiss between Marjory and Kasmeer—only for the family member who was working on the season with me to insist on playing the later stages of the Season 1 story arc with their gaming friends and having us all on Discord, when most of the friends are fairly conservative and had running commentary. It wasn't unhinged rants, but waiting ten years for a f/f kiss only to see it with "ew, onscreen?" in the background was really frustrating.
I found some bullshit excuse for noping out after Scarlet's death and then quietly finished the story after, without the pressure to just get going and stop talking to all the NPCs, etc. That was far more enjoyable (Marjory brought Kas flowers despite being the one injured ... <3 <3), but there are some things I just cannot solo and really wish I could, despite the whole "it's an MMO" thing.
But finally, Season 1 is done! Now for scraping together the last achievements...
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