#evil kaminoans

[minyboy]

Halle Burtoni, vile woman, but very helpful in the information department, we can keep her for now.

[kitcat22]

I like to think that it takes the Command BatchTM a long time to realise how young Alpha 17 was when he was given them to train.

When they were kids and even as adults Seventeen is always this immovable pillar in their lives. Yeah he was a hardass who wouldn’t know his own emotions if they punched him in the face but he protected, cared for and taught them everything they need in order to survive and is the closest thing to a parent they have (except for Wolffe - he’s infinitely smug about this) He’s the reason they were the most successful batch on Kamino and later the most notable commanders of the war.

Then after the war and the improvement of clone rights, this documentary comes out exploring the years on Kamino before the Battle of Geonosis. It’s basically a horror show and includes footage taken by the Kaminoans to monitor and record their army building process (footage that would later be used in court to convict them of sentient rights violations and various other charges).

In the show there’s this one photo of Seventeen and his kids that’s basically that photo of the mom helping her kids beat their game as they crowd around her. The difference being that it’s a bunch of 6 year olds (developmentally) crowded around a 15 year old as he does his own coursework.

Alpha’s still in his red and blue uniform and has pimples and baby fat clinging to his face and he just looks so, so young.

Afterwards the batch phone him up and its like-

Command Batch: Damn we didn’t realise you were a teen mom… 😕

Alpha 17: …

Alpha 17: I didn’t realise i was a teen mom

It takes some more time for him to understand that this did indeed affect him as a person.

I like to think that while dropping Fox off at his ex corrie guard support group in the community centre he accidentally finds himself in a young parent support group and huh these experiences of giving up your childhood (or never having one) while trying to give your kids the best of everything and feeling far too grown up and responsible and afraid really kinda resonates with him.

He gets invited back to this group because, despite not being a teenager or actively parenting anymore, he has a lot of experience in child rearing (even if the avoiding the wrath of evil scientists doesn’t really apply anymore) and for some reason all of their kids adore him even if he scowls at them constantly.

[tossawary]

You know, given all of the cloning and other evil experiments that Palpatine apparently had going on, it's a little remarkable in hindsight that he never targeted Shmi Skywalker personally.

Like, this woman apparently reproduced asexually and gave birth to one of the most powerful Force-sensitives of all time; I don't generally characterize Sith Lords as having great scientific curiosity or a sense of wonder for the universe (or bothering to remember "little" people exist most of the time), because their whole deal kind of precludes that, but it seems reasonable that one might conclude that there's potential power in investigating this.

If Anakin was friendly with Palpatine for the latter half of his childhood, it seems like it could have been relatively easy for Palpatine to learn things like 1) Anakin's midichlorian count (which he can use to tell Anakin that everyone else is just jealous of his power) and 2) Shmi's situation on Tatooine (which he can use to foster resentment between Anakin and the Jedi Order for not helping Shmi too). Just get Anakin a little frustrated and he'll probably start talking! Palpatine could make some concerned offer to send someone to check on Anakin's mother - it is the least that Naboo can do for the family that helped to save them, the Chancellor might say, but he would prefer that such favoritism remain a secret between them - and then Sidious would have Watto's exact address no problem.

And it's not like it would be hard to kidnap Shmi. Palpatine (as Sidious?) could pick some random bounty hunter and order them to go buy her, because this amount of money is presumably pocket change to him, and if Watto resists selling her off to a stranger, the bounty hunter can claim that they've come on behalf of her son. And if that doesn't work or if Shmi is already with the Lars family, there's always violence. Palpatine can just lie to Anakin and say that his agent discovered Shmi was targeted by enemies of the Jedi Order. Oh, what a shame they didn't protect her!

I don't know what would happen from here. Sidious could potentially contract the Kaminoans as a private, anonymous citizen to research Shmi and see if she'll be useful to him at all; the Kaminoans seem to be in the business of designer babies for specific clients (Jango + my vague memories of some "Clone Wars" comic). Which means that Shmi could be unhappily, awkwardly hanging around Kamino, probably still enslaved, when Jango Fett and the clones business is going on. For years, potentially.

Ideally for the Sith, the Kaminoans would be keeping Shmi in an entirely separate facility most of the time, away from the army intended for the Jedi and the Republic. But Jango might be sent around the planet on errands or something and the Kaminoans might need to use very specific equipment at some points, and I am a fan of grand plans being ruined by chance encounters or workplace logistics, so I think it would be fun if Shmi met Jango or Boba. Maybe Palpatine assumed that the Kaminoans had already disposed of Shmi or were keeping her on ice, due to a badly worded email or something else mundane, because the Kaminoan forgot the right Basic word (it's not their first language!!! or a translator malfunctioned or something) during their space phone call.

There's lots of Canon Divergence directions for this, like more serious angst or drama or thriller horror being imprisoned by a Sith Lord (somewhere besides Kamino) or discovering what's being done to the clones. Shmi could end up being rescued by Jedi and helping uncover Sidious. Or she could have a different tragic ending.

(This whole post regarding Shmi and cloning is partially inspired by that one post pointing out that Rey looks a lot like Shmi, and given the strange circumstances of Anakin's birth, any attempt to clone Anakin might have created a clone of Shmi instead. I still think a "Rey as Anakin's clone" is a fun sequel trilogy AU.)

I'm leaning towards fix-it and comedies of errors ideas because the prequels are tragic enough for me. Currently, I'm thinking about Shmi eventually ending up as part of young Boba Fett's gang somehow, because it's amusing to me that he was somehow a recurring antagonistic figure on that TCW show despite being a child. The other bounty hunters are like, "Kid, did you... bring your mom on this mission...?" And Boba Fett is like, "No!!! She's my ship mechanic!!! But if you touch her, just so you know, I will fucking kill you."

I think that both Anakin and Boba would fucking hate being adoptive brothers in any way, shape, or form. And the idea of Luke and Leia someday having an "Uncle Boba Fett" is also very funny to me.

(EDIT: I'm currently dubious regarding a Jango/Shmi ship because Jango does participate in the creation and enslavement of the clone army. Like, it's the Kaminoans who do it, they hold most of the blame and they would have gotten someone else if Jango hadn't done it, but Jango is very much there and at the very least complicit in a horrifying series of crimes against millions of people. Depending on how you characterize Shmi Skywalker, an enslaved woman, I don't really think she'd be cool with that. She let her child go off to become a Jedi because she thought it would be a much better life for him, while Jango sold his own "children" off into war for money. So, I'm currently thinking that Shmi might like the innocent child Boba, but she might honestly dislike Jango quite a lot.)

[weepingstars07]

Death Watch Jango and Sith Concubine Obi Wan Au

Also known as another au i can’t be bothered writing but would love to read

So instead of Jango being found by Jaster, Death Watch manage to catch up to him while the True Mandalorians go in guns blazing and rescue Arla.

Jango and Arla are kind of role swapped with Jango as Tor’s adoptive son, favourite assassin and all round punching bag.

Arla on the other hand is adopted by Jaster and believes her little brother burnt to death in the fields of their own family farm. This and the murder of her parents leads to serious anger issues that lead on to a level of violence that puts her slightly at odds with the true Mandalorians. This isn’t to say they hate each other though, she still considers Jaster her father and jaster consider her his daughter. Arla does eventually end up splitting ways with them going off to find her own way in the galaxy.

This world’s Obi wan never escaped Bandomeer and ended up sold further into slavery until Darth Plagueis finds and buys him for Sheev ( i dont think the timeline works out but oh well, wibbly wobbly timey wimey).

Plagueis predicts that Palpatine and Obi wan will be the Chosen one’s parents. (The force actually meant parental figures but sith have never been very good listeners). Obi Wan as a stewjoni is able to get pregnant but has only had miscarriages and still births much to Palpatine’s endless frustration. Eventually he decides Plagueis must have been mocking him and this is only reinforced when he finds a small slave boy named Anakin with the force presence of twin suns. He decides this boy must be the true chosen one and makes him his apprentice. He does not realise how close his concubine and Apprentice become other the years until it’s too late. Anakin does still consider Palpatine a fatherly figure to him but in an an even more twisted way than canon while Obi wan is still his BrotherDad figure.

Obi Wan and Jango meet when they’re both about 18 or 19, after Tor teams up with Palpatine (or more accurately gets himself manipulated into becoming Palpatine’s puppet). Obi wan is used by Palpatine to keep any eye on his Mandalore project which is quite frustrating to him as it means being seperated from anakin.

The boys end up forming a strange sort of bond when realising how badly treated the other his. Its not until Jango is handed the prototype for a clone army made in his image under sith/mandalorian control that he decides enough is enough. In the dead of night he steals the prototype, who he names Boba, from the Kaminoan labs and knocks Obi Wan out and steals him too.

Jango decides that he’s going to stop the cloning project before he has an army of enslaved ade on his hands, maybe kill Tor and then run off into the sunset with Obi Wan and their new child.

Obi Wan’s reaction is along the lines of ‘wtf, your going to get us both killed’ but as the concept of freedom comes closer and closer he agrees on the condition they figure out how to steal Anakin too, difficult because Obi Wan doesn’t actually know what facility they are usually held in.

With a plan now prepared the two set out to conquer evil and live out their happy ever after on some tropical paradise far away from the mandalorians or Sith.

However they what they don’t realise is that be some will of the force the first planet they land on they accidentally bump into a Jedi shadow. Maybe its Tholme or Feemor or someone completely unknown but they are pretty quick to notice Obi Wan looks a lot like the Initiate that disappeared a few year ago become of Yoda’s (however well intended) meddling. This sparks a Jedi manhunt to find this lost soul who they believe has been enslaved by a Mandalorian.

Jaster and the True Mandalorians are running around the galaxy trying to get more info on this army that Tor is apparently building. Arla is reunited with them and agrees to help out.

And …. Thats all I’ve got for now.

[buckybarnesss]

i'm still processing the finale but the way they brought the nala se's arc to a close was something i was satisfied with. it doesn't absolve her actions and participation in the past but she was aware she was likely going to die for a while now and committed to destroying the research.

even she had a line. even she found someone to care about enough to die to protect.

and her taking rampart out with her was justice for the kaminoans and tipoca city. it was punishment for his arrogance and ignorance and bigotry.

fives still died. she still covered up the chips. the kaminoans were morally and ethically questionable. it's not a neat little package. it's messy and complicated.

but in the end she did the right thing because she understood omega would never be safe if they had the data and what the emperor was doing was evil.

what an end to a character.

[fanfic-obsessed]

Hi! Hope your August is off to a good start. Could I send a prompt for Talk Shop Tuesday?

Feel free to ignore the prompt if not!

Some or Several of the trainers look at the babies with their alor's face that said alor wants them to train for a war and go "we think the fuck not.

@somestorythoughts Sorry I did not answer yesterday, it took me a bit to get my thoughts in order for this.

Look there is never a bad time for me to receive a prompt,  a question, or a random message.  It brings me great joy.

Now For the Prompt:

Some or Several of the trainers look at the babies with their alor's face that said alor wants them to train for a war and go "we think the fuck not.

My first thought, before anything, is that Mij is the ringleader. There is no doubt that the medics would be the ones to spearhead this and Mij, of all of them, best remembers both Jaster and little Jango.

I also think that the medics do not really know what the babies are really there for at first. If we think about the Psychology of Jango Fett- Orphaned twice over, a leader too early, the death of his people (that he 100% will not face is partly his own fault-as he shot first) and his own enslavement, semi forced addiction to Spice from the aforementioned enslavement. While none of these things makes Jango evil, they do make him a bit broken. I do believe that in this one he is lying to everyone. 

He is telling the Kaminoans that he is training what will be the GAR (it does not matter if they know the full plot or not, Jango thinks they don’t). He is telling Dooku that he is honing the clones into a weakness for the republic and a wake up call for the Jedi while knowing Sidious’s actual plan for the clones. Of the trainers, he is telling some that the clones will be a trap for the Jedi, others that they will be getting some enormous payment, while telling still others (like Mij) that he is planning to steal the clones to rebuild the True Mandalorians, assuring the interested groups that he is working for the best of Mandalore. 

Most of all Jango is telling himself that he has not become worse than any of the crimes committed against him. 

It is all lies. 

For the first year, this house of cards remains standing. Jango has convinced most of the groups he is lying to that he is lying to everyone but them. Not that all of them care, but some do.  

It is such a small thing, in the grand scheme of things, that tips Mij off. Jango has managed to explain away the numbers (to give the clones a chance to name themselves), the lack of armor (that much armor is expensive), and other such discrepancies as necessities for ‘tricking’ their employer. 

It starts with a single look. A microexpression when Mij asks Jango to hold the toddler A-17 during a routine check. Disgust. It stuck in Mij’s mind all the harder, as he had just witnessed Jango with Boba not 10 minutes prior. 

Mij started to, discreetly, poke around. It takes him all of a week to find the chips. The slave chips embedded in the heads of babies. The babies with Jango’s face and slave chips in their heads. 

Mij has made an error. Mij.exe is also experiencing an error.

Everything is an error. 

Now Mij has a choice, and both those choices involve breaking a vow he swore so many years ago to Jaster Mereel, and later to Jango Fett. He could choose ignorance, and follow his Alor, convince himself there is a good reason for what he is seeing; pretend that there is any good reason for slave chips. And thus dooming untold children, untold babies, breaking his moral code irrevocably. Or he could choose the babies, could undermine his Alor, betray the trust that Jango had in him. Be one more person to abandon Jango, the boy that Jaster had adopted and loved. 

The choice was not an easy one, and it hurt. It hurt worse at how careful he had to be, gathering allies. The remnants of the True Mandalorians were bound by trauma and shared hell. It was excruciating, having to keep secrets, but Mij knew that not everyone would make the choice he had. Not everyone would choose the babies. He could not begrudge them, but he could not trust them either.

It took another month of wrestling with their choices before Mij and his allies, 14 other former True Mandalorians, came to a decision.  There were not enough of them to wrest control of Kamino, not enough to take the 10s of thousands of babies away and keep them safe. They debated going to the Jedi, having realized that the Jedi ordering the Clones was just another lie, but the Jedi were bound to the Republic. They could not protect or free the babies. 

There is only one group that could, politically, if not physically. One that Mij did not want to go anywhere near. Knew that he would have to give up what made him Mandalorian; that he would have to give up the Mandalore Jaster Mereel had envisioned.  By the end of the month, all 15 were in agreement that there was no other way.  

Though it took time, and careful planning, Mij makes sure to be holding a now toddler A17 when his call finally connects to Satine Kryze. He can feel her gaze slip to the baby in his arms as he pleads his case to the Duchess of the New Mandalorians. As he agrees to whatever hoops she wants them to jump through, if it would mean that the children are safe and loved. 

His Ancestors who marched ahead would be angry that he would give up their culture, but they would despise him for abandoning the babies to their fate.

[antianakin]

I watched that scene in V for Vendetta when V kills Delia, and it occurred to me that there isn't quite the same scene throughout TBB S3. Despite the heavy redemption themes for Crosshair and Emerie, I don't think I heard either of them directly acknowledge their wrongs and apologise to their (live) victims. I didn't hear Crosshair admit fault for shooting Wrecker on Kamino, trying to incinerate the squad on Bracca, or kidnapping Hunter and using him as bait. Never mind to Howzer for his squad's arrest and death in captivity, or the people of Ryloth for his assassination of Orn Free Taa. Or to the next of kin of at least two women I remembered he killed during his Imperial service.

I never heard Emerie apologise for using the kids and clones as pincushions to draw blood, abducting and imprisoning them. Has everyone forgotten that she was there regularly while Crosshair was strapped to the bed and being experimented on?

The point is that while both characters did heel-face turns and performed deeds to atone for their pasts, the lack of apology is deafening. Howzer was portrayed as the asshole for not seeing Crosshair's heel-face turn because it should have been ''obvious'' how Crosshair treats Omega. I see it as the characters who should have broken the fourth wall and read the script to bypass the drama that would have occurred if an apology had been forthcoming. The "hard" part was done; Crosshair lost his hand; what more do you idiots want? I would have chalked it to the cancellation had I not seen something similar running around Season 1...

It's one of those aspects that gnaws at me with Disney Star Wars. What I call the externalisation of evil, paired with the lack of accountability. Evil happens because people were forced or duped to act on its behalf, but because these people are not "true" believers (as seen by their redemption), they need not be held accountable for their actions while serving evil. Their acts in service of the "superior good" balance the scales and bypass the need for accountability.

And for a "kids" show lauded as the most "adult" of the TCW-era animation, I have to ask, is this really the lesson to teach kids? Because in real life, no one can read your mind and hear your apology mentally. And some can fake it and be unrepentant in the end. The victims of your wrongdoing have the right to confront you, hear your apology, and decide to absolve or condemn you. "I am not here for what you hoped to do. I am here for what you did"- V

"Is it meaningless to apologise? Never I'm so sorry" - Delia's last words to V

I find myself less upset about Emerie because Emerie was introduced so late that not only do we not see her doing anything THAT horrific, but there wouldn't have been a lot of time to really work through any kind of redemption arc for her. Within her first few episodes, we do see her soften towards Omega a bit, so they DO set up that Emerie isn't all she appears to be which allows for her to have stronger reactions to things like the Force sensitive children in the vault later.

My issue with Emerie, which is likely partially due to the cancellation cutting off some of what they might have planned to do with her, is that we have ZERO EXPLANATION for her. Why does she exist, was she just a defective clone who came out female and so the Kaminoans sent her away or did one of them intentionally try to create a female clone for some reason? Why did they send her to Hemlock, how was Hemlock connected with the Kaminoans to begin with and connected SO early that he was able to acquire a clone before the Jedi and the Republic even knew they existed? Why did Hemlock accept her and what has he been doing TO her this whole time? What is her relationship with being a clone if she was presumably separated from the rest of them for her entire life and not necessarily raised as a clone the same way as even TBB would've been? How does this impact her relationship with the clone prisoners on Tantiss as well as Hemlock?

Her redemption arc feels both half-assed and like... just half-assed enough because Emerie is basically a blank slate the whole time. We don't know anything about her or her motivations for anything and so there's nothing to really make me feel like her quicker change of heart goes against anything we know about her. She's never shown to be particularly unkind or malicious, just... somewhat disconnected from the clone prisoners and inclined to just accept that Hemlock's work is necessary. Because we know so little about her aside from that she's been with Hemlock since she was extremely young, it works for me that she's mostly just kind-of disconnected about the things he's doing to the other clones until she manages to make a personal connection that sort-of changes her perspective. She does not personally capture or hurt anyone to my memory, she never seems to be intentionally trying to cause pain to anybody, there's no malicious intent behind her actions that she has to work around and make up for. There's not even any real prejudice and anger towards the clones themselves that is causing her to be okay with what Hemlock is doing to them. So just her recognizing that a change NEEDS to be made is enough for me with Emerie, I don't feel like I needed more of an apology in order for her "redemption arc" to make sense because she's barely a fleshed out character as it is.

Crosshair on the other hand, DID owe an apology to a lot of people. I HATE the way they handled his interactions with the rest of the squad and with Howzer in particular. I HATE the way HOWZER has to apologize and Crosshair never does. It's fucked up and wrong and such a badly done redemption arc and I honestly can't even blame that on the cancellation because it's early enough in the season that they likely already had that built in before they had to make any changes. There's also already been TWO SEASONS before this to build up to Crosshair's change of heart that I think got mishandled as well. He got so little screen time in season two that his change of heart that turns him against the Empire doesn't feel believable to me at all.

My biggest issue with BOTH of these characters and the way their stories were handled was the distance from the ACTUAL CLONES.

This is an issue I've had with the show from the beginning. It's billed as a show about clones, but the main characters are SO separated and distant from the real clones that none of their development really has anything to do with the clones and it makes it feel like it never really WAS a clone story at all. Crosshair's story would've been more compelling if it had been about his bigotry towards the clones and his development had come specifically from learning they were good people and he was wrong about them. Emerie and Omega's stories should've been about them finally being able to connect to the other clones that they'd been forced away from their whole lives and figuring out what it truly means to BE a clone. The Bad Batch's story would've been more compelling if it had had more focus on what was actually happening to the clones immediately after Order 66 and the desperation and tragedy of trying to save them in a world that cares about them even less than it used to.

Instead, Crosshair's story seems to be about realizing the Empire sees him, PERSONALLY, as expendable and THAT'S what makes him realize it's bad. The fact that the Empire sees him as no different than the other clones doesn't really allow him to see the CLONES in a different light or connect to them better, it just destroys his loyalty to the Empire because he's not considered special anymore. Emerie only turns against the Empire after she sees what's happening with the Force sensitive children, the torture and captivity of the clones doesn't seem to bother her at all. Omega's development for the last two seasons has had nothing to do with her identity as a clone and a lot more with her identity as a "soldier". Echo is the only character with any real connection to the other clones and the moment he starts to voice that, he gets written off and becomes a recurring cameo character instead of a regular main ensemble member. The moment he decides to more fully be a part of a clone-centric storyline, he can't be a part of the Bad Batch's story because the Bad Batch is inherently NOT A CLONE STORY.

And this is the biggest problem with this show. It's selling itself as a clone story and not actually following through on it and it causes this weird dissonance within the narrative because I don't think this show ever truly knew what story it was telling. It hurts every single one of the characters.

This show would've been a LOT better if they had just let it be a story about, say, four random bounty hunters who worked as a team. Or even, god help me, four Mandalorians from different clans or houses or whatever who are BARELY managing to stay civil with each other. It would've made the stories with Crosshair and Emerie feel a LOT easier to stomach because we aren't sitting there wondering why they aren't reacting to what's happening to the other clones around them. It might've made the stories easier to WRITE, too, because they wouldn't have had to keep trying to force a connection between these characters and the clones that so clearly just isn't there.

Maybe these "redemption arcs" would've been better done and made more sense if these characters weren't clones.

But then again I remember how well done Ventress and Kallus's "redemption arcs" were and I think that maybe it wouldn't have mattered at all.

[vodika-vibes]

It's canon that clone force 99 and the Corries compete to gather up the brothers that are going to be decommissioned. The batch have Echo so the guard gets Fives. The Corries snatch up Dogma, the batch get Tup.

Both groups compete until they have enough brothers to take out evil Palps and end the war and take back Kamino from the Kaminoans and make Cody their Mandalor while Fox is chancellor on Coruscant

They're picking players for their teams, just like in middle school, lol

And, technically, since the clones were born on Kamino, they're Kaminoans, right. And since there are over 1 million of them, they probably outnumber the native Kaminoans. I remember reading something about a natural disaster killing a lot of their people (it might have been in a fic, tho)

I wonder if Mand'alor Cody volunteered foe the position or was he volunteered? They probably joined the Republic with Fox as Chancellor.

How'd Satine react to a clone Mand'alor? Since she was trying to erase that. How'd Bo-Katan react?

Oh man, I wanna be a fly on the wall in this universe. Just for the drama.

[weepylucifer]

okay here it is. i hinted at this one time in the tags of some reblog that probably no one noticed. but trust it has been on my mind. my AU with force-sensitive clones

so the kaminoans would probably want very hard to have everyone believe that clones can never have the force, and that is what they do tell everyone. bc they love to pretend that clones are little more than very adaptable flesh droids, and force sensitivity is a benchmark of sentience, and with the way the jedi make such a huge fuss abt it, they know that if they found clones to be strong in the force, they would get difficult about it and perhaps even about the whole war. so they spread the word around that clones cannot be force-sensitive at all ever, and most clones probably don't have any reason to question this

of course there are outliers bc clearly clones are people and can have the force like anyone else. we all know about clone trooper glitch. (in my opinion someone should also find a force-sensitive droid somewhere and let's see what happens THEN). but they'd be weeded out by the kaminoans before they can do anything with their abilities, and so word gets around the GAR that if you are the kind of trooper who makes things float sometimes, keep that shit to yourself or else. but most clones who are not strong in the force and don't have any brothers around them who are would likely never even consider this

okay this is our set-up

our focal character will be cody bc he's my favorite. i think if cody had the force he wouldn't notice. i love him but he's not the QUICKEST of all clones at questioning what the people in charge tell him. so he just wouldn't think about it. maybe obi-wan catches glimpses of something going on but, you know, these guys have SO much on their plates, they are fighting a war here. plus obi-wan might just go "of course i feel like cody's special somehow. it's attraction" and just brush it off as symptoms of codywan. maybe he considers looking into it but he never gets the time and then order 66 happens

so the force and the evil mind control chip do violent battle in cody's brain and he manages to snap out of it, but unfortunately too late. they've already shot obi-wan off the cliff, and cody has reason to assume he's dead now. everywhere jedi are dying. you know the drill

desperately, cody, for the first time in his life and purely on instinct, reaches into the force to somehow make things right. more than half mad with terror, as he is overpowered the way he's never been before by grief and rage and fear and suffering and horror and rage and guilt and rage and rage and rage, what he connects with, completely by accident, is actually, you guessed it, the dark side

the shit show began years ago when the clone war started, or perhaps the shitshow began even earlier, when sidious fell. but here is where the shitshow continues

[spacemagicandlaserswords]

The Clone Wars 2x10 ‘The Deserter’ Reaction

aka the Rex Chest Episode

The way Grievous says ‘Kenobiiiii’ will never fail to make me laugh

“Any sign of Grievous?” the gesture that goes with this is just, oh Rex

Jesse? Is that Jesse? 

That little smirk from Rex. He knows that Obi-Wan wants first dibs on fighting his frenemy

Cody: “Rex is a smart man.” Obi-Wan: “Indeed. Always thinking on his feet.” Rex: *immediately gets shot*

Also the little glances they exchange during this

Oof that’s gotta hurt. Sniper shot straight to the plastoid covered chest. Poor Rex lying there like a busted pretzel.

Kix, was that you?

I’m guessing the yellow clone is Crys? Why is he yellow instead of 212th gold?

Why does Obi-Wan say “We’ve picked up the scent.” straight down the barrel of the camera? What is this 4th wall break?

Hello Kix!

Jesse got the braincell today. Also Kix’s decidedly confused “Sir” to Jesse was adorable. Wookieepedia lists Jesse as a Lieutenant and with Rex down I’m assuming that means he’s in charge now.

Why are the Twi'lek’s french?

Jesse saying ma’am is sending me

Well Suu is a certified badass. Absolutely no messing with her. 

REX CHEST?!

AND REX WHUMP?!!

Omg his chest and neck and that jaw and those arms and he hurts so prettily and omg I am unwell and cannot be saved help me

I’m guessing the other clone with the tattoo over his left eye is Hardcase? Hi Hardcase! Is he the one with ADHD? I love him already.

Rex flopping around like a fish out of water lmao

Oof that is a nasty bruise on his back. Also his back. And shoulders. And arms. Omg.

Kix telling Rex he outranks him lmao

Rex thighs?! Rex are you wearing nothing but your lower blacks?! That look decidedly grey but anyway. Also, where is the clone bulge? We were robbed.

“You look like my daddy.” FORESHADOWING CLAXON

The way that Kix and Hardcase looked at Rex like, “is this yours?”

There was so much in that “Mmmm” from Suu lol she is so unimpressed

Jesse being told he’s in command while holding a platter of fruit and nodding like a butler at Rex CACKLING

Rex, where are your nipples? Do clones not have nipples? What did the Kaminoans have against nipples? Did we seriously not get clone nipples? Were animated male nipples too much for Lucasfilm and Cartoon Network in the year of our lord 2010? Why are your nipples just slightly darker vague blotches Rex?

Omg Obi-Wan you completely and utterly over the top dramatic bitch (affectionate). Look at him all backlight by the moon looking all dark and mysterious as he hunts down his favourite arch nemesis. 

REX ARMS

Jesus H Christ. My God. Just look at them. Holy fuck. SIR

Also this bit with the farm animal waking him up was hilarious. His wide eyed look of alarm when it was snuffling and licking his face, poor Rex.

Also, Rex Hands? They’re so big. And his fingers are so long. Oh my. Oh no. My brain has already run away with itself.

I may have paused it at the wrong moment but his forearms look hilariously weedy in comparison with the absolute bulging units that are his biceps. 

I know this is supposed to be faux sinister and spooky but do all clones have such lovely beautiful long fingers?

Rex’s spidey senses activated

Cut? Sir? Daddy? Hello? Are all clones just a bulging mass of ripped muscle?

And here we have our philosophical argument for the episode

“Then our children and their children will be forced to live under an evil I can’t well imagine.” Oh no. Oh, Rex. If only you knew.

That was one awkward conversation to have at the family dinner table

Cut was at the Battle of Geonosis? Hmmm I wonder what batch that makes him and how old he is. Especially if Cody wasn’t at the Battle of Geonosis, which we found out in a previous episode. 

Another awkward conversation to have while your kids and wife are just sitting there watching?

Obi-Wan, you are such an overly dramatic bitch. It is hilarious. I love it. A giant Force leap off a tank with multiple somersaults ending in a superhero pose? Really? Also, that poor clone that basically fell out of the exploded tank and was dangling off a bit of it at the end.

Did that clone just shoot an incoming missile out of the air?!

Kids playing outside by themselves? This can only go well. I didn’t realise it at the time but episode 1x2 “Cut and Run” of The Bad Batch did exactly the same thing.

Oop that’s gone well. 

Well Cut clearly hasn’t lost any of his skills from being a clone

Protective Dad Mode Engaged

Also, why is Protective Dad Mode always so damn hot. Hunter does the exact same thing.

Jesse, Hardcase and Kix just absolutely dismantling droids on their speeders

“Always something.” lmao

Cut punching the commando droid and immediately regretting it

So Rex is still just as deadly even with the use of only one arm. 

Poor Rex getting strangled by a commando droid after falling through the floor. Also Cut shooting the droid that was choking Rex was a decidedly badass moment. Thought it did remind me of when Cody basically did the same thing for Crosshair in episode 2x3 ‘The Solitary Clone’ of TBB.

Grievous, did you just try to use a tactical dramatic cape drop on the master of dramatic cape drops himself?

Lol Obi-Wan’s little reach for Grievous. Nooooo come back and fight meeeeee.

Obi-Wan is so pissed that he didn’t get to capture his favourite arch nemesis. He’s having a little sulk. Cody is probably so tired of this shit.

That’s growth right there. Character development time for Rex.

Naw look at Rex riding off into the sunset. Cowboy Rex anyone?

[clownery-and-fuckery]

hey guess what...

"I... I don't think you should give your medical records to the Kaminoans," Tech confessed quickly. "What?" Echo sounded startled. "Why not?" "They- their... intentions are not always good," Tech fiddled with his goggles. "I'm- I worry, that the information would be used—" "Tech," Echo interrupted. "The Kaminoan's are a lot of things, but they're not downright evil." "But—" Tech fumbled. He should tell Echo the truth. Tell him about his worries of what the Kaminoan's wanted. Of their intentions. "This will help them," Echo told him firmly. "Don't worry about it too much, alright?" "I-... uhm. Okay." Tech agreed reluctantly, quietly.

Failsafe Prequel >:]

[mwolf0epsilon]

Fives while attending evening meal with the others: What's the worst thing you've ever done to a batchmate while you were still cadets?

Jesse looking up from his plate: Once when we were still in our 6th growth cycle, I hid a spider inside Kix's sleeping pod. The thing scurried off, so he never saw it... But a few months later the eggs it had apparently laid in his pod hatched while he was asleep...

Hardcase wincing slightly: You remember those running exercises we were made to do when we got on a trainer's bad side? During one of those an aiwha dropped a partially eaten fish on the platform. I took it back inside with me and hid it in Jesse's training bucket...

Rex looking a little ashamed of himself: I might have poured glue I finessed from an unnamed source into my entire batch's shampoo bottles. They still haven't forgiven me to this day, and I never leave my hygiene kit unatended whenever they visit.

Kix who's never done anything wrong in his entire life: I'm surrounded by a bunch of evil assholes.

Fives looking around at them with a slight frown: That's the worst you could think of? Now I feel kind of bad...

Jesse: Why? What did you do?

Fives: Well, I didn't start it, but I got the worst result. Back on Kamino Echo used to be a very picky eater and the others and I thought it'd be funny to see if he'd notice if we tampered with his rations a bit.

Rex looking up abruptly: .... You what now?

Fives: It was meant to be harmless! Really! We never put anything bad in them, like bugs or that sorta crap! Just... He didn't like asparagus, so we mashed some into his mashed taters and watched to see if he'd react. He didn't like bananas, so we mashed those as well and put it into his pudding...

Hardcase looking all kinds of horrified: Dude, you don't mess with a guy's meal. It's a sacred rule!

Fives sheepishly: It gets worse... So he always had a weird nauseated look whenever he ate any of the food we messed with. Nothing too bad, and honestly not as funny as we assumed it'd be... So one day I break out the big guns and mash up a serving of brussel sprouts and mix it with his broccoli...

Jesse flabbergasted: Fives?!

Fives: He uh. Well he certainly reacted...

Echo who is eating as far away from Fives as physically possible: I threw up violently and had to be taken to medbay because an Alpha saw me, and thought I was dying of food poisoning. And then I was punished by the Kaminoans for making an unnecessary mess in the cafeteria. I can no longer eat broccoli because just seeing it makes me gag.

Kix looking at Fives in horror: You are literally the fucking devil.

Fives: I was a very shitty cadet.

[bird-in-the-space]

Case 56: The End of Evil

You uncovered the whole truth and confronted Palpatine. Now you are on the run as he activated the inhibitor chips and sent your own dear partner to hunt you down.

Warnings: Palpatine himself being a warning, getting chased and hunted, falling inside a lift, broken bones, bleeding, getting shot in the head, attempted character kill, scheming, and arrest.

------------------------------------

The investigation was a success. With the help of Fox and a few others, you uncovered the whole truth about the inhibitor chips and Palpatine. The inhibitor chips were implanted by the Kaminoans and were designed to make the clones follow specific contingency plans without question. You uncovered that it was Count Dooku who ordered the creation of the clones, but his master, the Sith lord, who orchestrated the whole war. All led to one specific plan which involved the destruction of the Jedi Order. And the man responsible for it all was the supreme chancellor himself. 

You were thrilled to find the truth and the proof of it all. Fox now had no doubts about turning against Palpatine after you showed him the truth. Together, you formulated a plan to expose the man and decided to give the evidence only to the Jedi Order and a few senators you trusted. 

You knew it would be a huge risk to confront Palpatine, so you revealed the truth to the rest of the CG who were willing to arrest the man, and asked Senator Amidala to bear as your witness after showing her the evidence. She was more than willing to see Palpatine arrested and agreed to accompany you. 

You had time to prevent the worst outcome, thus you set the plan into action. You had Bail Organa deliver the news and present the evidence to the Jedi Council while you, Amidala, and Fox confronted the supreme chancellor. Unfortunately, you underestimated the chancellor’s cleverness. 

Palpatine had been aware of your investigation, and after you called out his plans and identity as the Sith lord, he activated the chips. Apparently, he had a contingency plan just for you and now all the CG were ordered to execute you for treason against the Republic and the chancellor. 

Luckily, you were quick enough to escape the chancellor’s office but now you and Amidala were forced into hiding in the Senate building. Palpatine seemed to have planned it as there weren’t others in the building, except for Chuchi who had been suspicious of your activities and wanted to see what was going on, so now, you had two senators to protect from Palpatine and the rest of CG who were hunting you. You were completely locked from the outside world as you couldn't even use your coms to call for help. You had to use your wits and hope Organa and the Jedi Order realized you were in danger. 

It did not help when it was Fox, who was hunting you. 

You did not wish to hurt him yet despite everything you did to slow him down, the chip made him chase you like a mad dog. 

During this time, Palpatine, or Darth Sidious watched from the security cameras, enjoying the view as your dear partner chased you around the building. He confessed to everything and congratulated you as he had considered you the largest threat to his plans if you ever caught a niff of his involvement. He feigned how it was a pity for the people that their most beloved detective would die as a traitor for killing the two most beloved senators and trying to kill him. 

It was no big surprise that he would have Amidala and Chuchi killed with you, and then paint you as the villain. So when you three tried to escape through the lift, Palpatine had the wires cut, causing the lift to plummet to the bottom. You pushed Amidala and Chuchi out of the lift, trusting them to stay hidden till help arrived.

You heard them scream out to you as you fell with the lift. You managed to focus and use enough force to slow down the lift so that you didn’t die from the impact. However, the crash was powerful enough to cause broken bones, and you were forced to crawl out with a broken leg and bruises deep enough to bleed. 

So now here you were, helplessly leaning against the wall with a broken leg. You were in a deep hole as you couldn’t move with your leg and were in the direct view of one of the security cameras. It wouldn’t take long for Fox to find you and finish the job. 

You were right as Fox was the one who stood before you, silent and ready to shoot you with his blaster. 

“I must say, my dear detective. You are one of the most dangerous foes I have ever faced. You would have made a powerful Sith and an ally with that kind of intelligence. It is a pity this game has to end this soon,” Palpatine’s voice came through the speaker. 

You grinned while breathing heavily from the pain. “Maybe… too bad I enjoy the thrill of exposing evil,” 

You heard him chuckle. “Your efforts were admirable. Perhaps it will be a beautiful irony to have you killed by your own dear partner. Do not worry… I shall remember this game with fondness,” he stated. 

A dry chuckle escaped you. “If you wanted to make this ironic, you should have allowed him to kill me as himself. I do not enjoy this silence,” You glanced at Fox. “Fox. If you’re in there, please say something, lecture me even so I can know it is you and not some meat droid the civies see you as,” you dramatically pleaded. 

“I’m afraid all he could think about is following the order through. Prepare to eliminate her, commander,” Palpatine ordered, making Fox aim at you. 

“One more thing!” You raised your hand. “If you allow it chancellor… I wish to see Fox face-to-face when I die. I want the last thing I see to be the face of my dear partner, not some soldier who thinks like a droid. Please, I will even beg if you grant my wish.” You gripped your hands together. 

“Very well. For entertaining me, I shall honor this one wish. Remove your helmet, commander,” Palpatine said. 

Fox then used his one hand to remove his helmet. He then looked at you with cold and disregarding eyes as he aimed his blaster at you. 

“Now that’s a more pleasant sight…” You smiled. 

Fox then aimed at you, the red dot hovering above your head. 

“Any last words, detective?” Palpatine questioned. 

“Only this one thing for my dear partner,” You looked Fox in the eye. “Fox… I know this won’t be over,” You muttered. 

“Eliminate her, commander,” 

Fox then pulled the trigger. The shot echoed across the corridor, allowing Palpatine to see through the security camera as your body slummed against the wall after the shot. He could see blood form around you and could not sense any spark of life within you through the force. He grinned at his victory. 

“Sir, Senator Amidala, and Chuchi have been found. What shall we do with them?” One of the guardsmen asked through the comlink. Palpatine saw them through one of the cameras, the two women were horrified after seeing your death. 

“Execute them for aiding the traitor,” He ordered. 

“The Jedi are coming. What shall we do with them?” Mas Amedda asked as they could see LAAT fighters nearing the Senate building. 

“Had the emergency call been sent to them?” Palpatine asked. 

“Yes,” Amedda nodded. 

“Then we shall deliver the news that the treacherous detective (Name) (Lastname) has been eliminated and the misfortune that the Senators Amidala and Chuchi did not survive the vicious attack,” Palpatine stood up from his chair. 

“What about the guards now that their chips have been activated?” Amedda asked as they began leaving. 

“Do not worry. If the Kaminoans kept their promises, the Coruscant Guard shall remain loyal even after activating their inhibitor chips. It is more important that the chips in the grand army remain prepared for order 66, and this incident remains as a treacherous attack against the Republic,” Palpatine explained as they left the senate building. 

As they waited at the platform, Palpatine sensed Anakin’s presence and grinned within his mind as the death of Padme would allow him the opportunity to turn Skywalker to the path of the dark side. He mildly thanked you for the opportunity and prepared as the clones and many Jedi masters jumped out of the ships. 

“Jedi masters. I am so glad you are here. I am saddened to—” Palpatine prepared his speech but then he was interrupted by Master Windu. 

“Supreme Chancellor Sheev Palpatine. You are arrested for your treachery against the Republic and conspiracy against the Jedi,” Mace Windu declared, causing Palpatine to stare at them with widened eyes. 

“Treachery? What on earth…” Palpatine backed away. 

“We have the evidence!” Bail Organa pointed at him. “Detective (Lastname) provided all the evidence needed to prove your identity as the Sith lord and the truth of the inhibitor chips. We also know the detective along with Senator Amidala came to confront you. “ He added. 

“Then suddenly we get an emergency call of a detective trying to assassinate the chancellor and senator Amidala,” Mace Windu said. 

“Where is she?” Anakin looked around. 

“This… this is a vile accusation! I would never… ” Palpatine was interrupted by a familiar voice. 

“Anakin!” Yelled Padmed as she ran out of the building with Chuchi and other Coruscant guards behind her.

“Padme. Are you hurt?” Anakin asked as she embraced him. 

“It was all true. Palpatine is the man behind all of this. He ordered the Coruscant guard to attack us to keep us silenced,” she explained. “And detective (Name).... she was,” Chuchi said sorrowfully. 

“What is the meaning of this?” Amedda uttered. Suddenly the guardsmen around them pointed their weapons at him and Palpatine. 

“Grand Vizier Amedda, Supreme Chanchelor Palpatine. You are arrested for treason against the Republic and attempted murder of detective (Lastname), Senator Amidala, and Senator Chuchi,” Thire pointed his blaster at them. 

“Okay. What is going on?” Anakin asked in confusion. 

“Oh, the maker! That went better than I expected!” A voice called out. 

Everyone turned to look as Fox walked out of the building, carrying you on his back. Your broken leg was put into a cast and you grinned while waving Fox’s helmet in your hand. 

“Thought… it would have been much better if you guys showed up much sooner,” You added as Padme and Chuchi looked at you with shock. 

“(Name)? You’re alive?!” Padme exclaimed. 

“Of course I’m alive. I’m just too great to die that easily,” You said, causing Fox to roll his eyes at you. 

“How is this possible?! We all saw you get shot in the head!” Amedda demanded. 

“Oh, that?” You touched your forehead which was untouched. “Yeah, this dumbass was supposed to go easy on me,” You ruffled Fox’s hair who only scoffed at your dramatic. “But to answer your question… I focused enough force to prevent the bullet from hitting me but make it believable enough to look like I was shot. It’s an old trick I used to trick a dangerous crime syndicate into thinking I’m dead,” You explained with a smile. 

“Still one of your worst tricks to this day,” Fox uttered. 

“Anyway, I hope the evidence and my witnesses are satisfied enough to arrest our good chancellor for his crimes?” You looked at the Jedis. 

“Indeed… since it seems the Coruscant Guard were in the scheme as well,” Plo Koon pointed out. 

“We had the chips removed once (Name) showed us the proof. We apologize for the trouble senators,” Stone said beside Padme and Chuchi. 

“It’s alright, commander, but why didn’t you tell us that Fox and the other guards were not under Palpatine’s control?” Padme asked, looking at you. 

“We needed solid proof and witnesses as I exposed him, and I thought it was clear by how they missed on purpose when they were shooting at us,” You answered.  

“They did?” Padme looked more confused. 

“I believe we have seen and heard enough. Commander, arrest these men,” Mace Windu ordered. 

“With pleasure,” Thire said as he and the rest of the guard took care of cuffing Palpatine and his advisor. 

“This is an outrage. I was set up!” Palpatine tried to explain as he and Amedda were taken on the ships. 

“Shut up. You are going behind bars for a long time,” Thire pushed him forward. Mace Windu turned toward you. “I will make sure our good chancellor will not try to escape,” He said, joining the guards on the ships. 

“Bye! Bye!” You waved as they began leaving. Palpatine only glared at you till he was out of sight.

You hopped off Fox’s back and held onto him for support as Master Yoda, Plo Koon, Kenobi, and Skywalker stood before you and the senators. 

“Great service, you have done for the Republic and the Jedi. However, your plan. Reckless, it was,” Yoda stated. 

“With all due respect, Master Yoda. When have my plans not been reckless?” You grinned. “And besides… I was not alone,” You glanced at Fox. 

“Now that we know the truth about the inhibitor chips. I suggest we start removing them from the rest of the clones to ensure that whatever Palpatine had planned will never come to fruition,” Kenobi said. 

“Indeed. We should also investigate the Kaminoans as they had been involved with this plot along with Count Dooku,” Plo Koon nodded. 

“You know, (Name). The Jedi Order could use your skills further to solve this war,” Kenobi looked toward you. 

“I already did most of the work. You can handle the rest, and besides I’m very happy with my current job,” You replied. 

“Very well. We should then start with removing the chips,” Kenobi stated. 

“We should reveal this to the Senate. They should hear all that Palpatine had done and that it was he who orchestrated the war,” Padme said. “This should allow us an opportunity to open peace talks with the Separatists as they had also been fooled into this war,” She added. 

“I can’t believe he was the Sith all along…” Anakin uttered. 

“Nah. Don’t blame yourself. He was good enough to fool me for a while until Fives came to my door and gave me the right clues to start digging. I guess we can finally close this case and say we have finished what he started,” You slapped your hands together. 

“(Name), will you be willing to testify in front of the Senate?” Padme turned toward you.  

“You have Chuchi for that, or you can ask the rest of the guard. I just wanna rest for a while, and perhaps rest my broken leg,” You pointed at the cast on your leg. 

“I will call a shuttle to take you to the hospital. “ Organa said. “Lovely,” You smiled. 

Padme turned toward Chuchi. “We should get started gathering the evidence and prepare our speech with the senate. “ She said. Chuchi nodded. “Yes. Let’s do that,”

The senators then began discussing among themselves as the Jedi masters left to handle the rest of the tasks, minus Anakin, who wanted to stay with his wife. You had an intuition that he might leave the order for her after the war is solved. 

“Hey, Rex,” Fox said, and the clone captain looked at him. 

“I just… wanted to say I’m sorry for shooting Fives,” Fox said. 

“It’s alright, Fox. Thanks for making sure his death was not in vain,” He nodded and left with Skywalker and the two women. 

You looked at Fox. “How do you feel now that this is over?” 

“I don’t know.” He shook his head. “I am glad that he’s locked up and we possibly avoided the worst, but I don’t know how to think,” 

“What if we didn’t remove the chips and I actually shot you dead?” He questioned, looking at you. 

“Then it's good that we were smarter than that,” You patted his shoulder. 

“I’m serious, (Name). I do not think I would have been able to live with myself if I killed you,” Fox said seriously. 

You looked at him softly. “Oh, Fox. You’re not getting rid of me that easily. Like I said before I rather have you kill me as yourself, not as some soldier who thinks like a droid. And come on, you should know me. I would have never allowed myself to die that easily,” You said. 

“But even as myself I could never kill you,” He uttered. 

“I know… but guess what? We can take a long break now that we put the evil behind bars. “ You grinned. “You definitely could use some time out from this city,” You added. 

“I do not think vacation is that easy for me,” He said. 

“I have my ways, darling. “ You grinned as the shuttle arrived to take you to the hospital. 

“Will you at least accompany me to the hospital? I will get lonely,” You teased, causing him to roll his eyes at you again. He then smiled with a soft look. “Fine,” He said, helping you in the shuttle as you were taken to the hospital where you two spent a peaceful respite after such a long night.

[space-blue]

I watched the 3 season 3 TBB episodes and it's all again tying to Palpatine clones! And I am. Upset!! That EVERYTHING must now tie in to the Palpy clones because Disney just could not take the L on the "somehow Palpatine returned" meme.

So it's all about project necromancer, just like Mando all ended up being about cloning and Grogu's M count, and Kenobi had to rip JFO's entire ending to show us from Jedi in amber... I hate that it feels like a curse over anything coming out in this time period. Most importantly : it is SO boring.

Why must Disney ruin the punch and twist of its shows, when they could tell original stories? You want to engage us into dark sithly biddings?

GIVE US A GAME!!

If everything has to be about Palpatine doing necro shit keeping dead jedi in vats and using their blood to splice a force sensitive clone, then let me play that!

Give us a game in which

I do force sensitive children hunting!

Blood resource management!

Building evil bases across systems!

Sending minions (like Cad Bane or custom made inquisitors) on child kidnapping quests!

Let me build genetic facilities and unlock genetic and dark force skill trees! Let me do Sith factorio!!

Passing bills and racketeering entire systems to help fund my dark deeds!

Let me build up and repair Vader's amour, customize it, so he can go on more dangerous missions and harvest more force sensitives and rogue Jedi!

Chose the right dialogue to brainwash my inquisitors!

Have rebellion crushing minigames, and risk of losing precious DNA sources and rarefied Kaminoan cloning specialtists!

Let me give birth to deformed blobs that scream in pain and die, until I manage to craft the first Snoke!!

Let me play a Dark Sith Cloning Sim!! Let me be dark and fucked up!!!

Now that would be engaging and fun, and that would leave space for stories to be told during the empire and post empire eras that don't revolve around Palpatine's deals.

Of course it's 2D pixel art BTW.

[deewithani]

So I had an idea after yesterday's episodes, regarding what it means to be "unaltered" and why Omega is so important.

Nala Se knew, without testing, what would be found with Omega's blood.

Rewind to Season 2, when she was talking with Lama Su. Notice they're talking about Jango's original genetic material and creating a "superior" clone. Also note that Nala Se says she needs a "direct source".

They're not talking about Gen 1 clones, they likely still have several Gen 1 clones that they could access. They're specifically talking about Jango and the unaltered clones, Boba and Omega.

They're special specifically because they're unaltered.

But unaltered is special because I believe they discovered Jango himself was special.

It wasn't ever necessary for her to test Omega's blood. She knew exactly what they would find because they tested Jango.

And if Jango wasn't special himself then there was no need to mention that his original genetic material was degrading.

I suspect that the Kaminoans already knew that it was possible to clone people with high midiclorian counts, you just did it like any other cloning. The test for them was removing high midiclorian counts from the resulting clones.

The next problem is "degraded genetic material". They couldn't use Jango's anymore. The problem is degradation. You know who else is probably actively degrading since being crispy fried by Mace Windu?

This could also be because he's getting old as balls too, but it still stands.

We don't see who is in the clone tanks on Tantiss, but I've seen a couple of different theories. Whether it's dead Jedi or Palpatine clones, it doesn't really matter. What matters is that whatever or whoever it is, is degrading, and they're trying to find a suitable genetic host to allow those degraded midichlorians to grow and replicate.

(Personally I think it's Palpatine clones, since dead Jedi are shown in both 'Rebels' and 'Obi-Wan Kenobi'.)

And what about Boba? How does he end up working for the Empire so long but no one tried to come after him for his DNA? This is a fairly easy loophole, tbh. The only ones who really knew that he was a clone were the Kaminoans, the Jedi, and the othet clones, and how many of them knew he was unaltered, and if none of them said anything then how would the Empire ever know he was anything other than a natural born son of Jango?

And would Vader even know that Palpatine was looking for an unaltered clone of Jango? Could just be a case of the right hand not knowing what the left hand was up to.

My big question now is what made them so special. It's not like Palpatine didn't have access to living people with the Force. I think that there is 2 different issues at play. The first is degradation, but the second is the dark side itself. Midichlorians from a degraded sample won't replicate in a dark side host. The Force is living, after all. I think there is some sentience here that the Empire is trying to fool.

If they could have used Inquisitors to do this, then they would have.

This is also why there were attempts to abduct force sensitive children in TCW and in Rebels. This is also why they're desperate to get Grogu in The Mandalorian.

Notice that they're all children. Too young to be tainted by the dark side and evil.

And there you have it. Omega is force sensitive, but so is Boba, and so was Jango.

It also means that probably every clone could have been force sensitive, and that it is genetic (I argued that on a previous post), but removing force sensitivity was part of their modification and was knowingly held back by Kamino until they thought that a "superior" clone was needed.

Also, Glitch is correct.

[fanfic-obsessed]

I am cackling at the Just Vibes addition and coming here cause I have too much to say for a comment:

"What the Fuck Qui-Gon" - something 3 groups of mandalorians AND all the Jedi corps agree with as well as any sith that'd meet him

"Jango, still partially under sedation, manages to send out one Comm" - I am now picturing that Doctor Who scene where the Doctor and Donna just keep missing each other and it's freaking hilarious except instead of 2 sassy people it's a dazed Jango somehow just avoiding all the Kaminoans long enough to get to a comm station, half by accident.

"develops a habit of being whatever gender will irritate Xanatos at any given point of time" - Xanatos What Did You DO?????

"Xanatos is still more Fallen than not" - how does that work? Is it like, morally dubious character but less homicidal?

Any way that my rambles those posts are really funny!

Thank you so much, I had a blast writing this idea as noted by the fact that the ideas kept coming. 

I do like the idea that every adult, and most children, who meets Qui Gon goes WTF and falls into baffled rage.  The man is just a bit too connected to the universe at large and forgets that not everyone gets all the secrets whispered to him in dead languages. 

For Jango I pictured him sitting up, still half unconscious slapping vaguely at the comm in his Vambrace, getting out 1 message and keeling back over, but I like your version just as much. 

Xanatos was Xanatos, even when not deliberately evil he is arrogant and irritating. Also Fordo, being in a relationship with Feemor, gets Feemor’s view of Xantos (the long suffering older brother who was disowned because Xanatos made bad choices). Frankly Fordo would do the same for Qui Gon, if anyone thought Qui Gon would even notice (Qui Gon never fails to correctly gender Fordo, even the few times that Fordo straight up made up a gender). 

Qui Gon, Feemore, and Xanatos need…so much therapy that they are avoiding. 

Xanatos is still amoral, drawing on the dark side of the Force (I am sticking with the idea the Dark Side is selfishness, so Xanatos’s priorities are: his own needs; his own wants; the needs of people he likes (Primarily Obi Wan and the Young, though late Komari and Shmi rate too) as long as it does not go against his own needs; the wants of people he likes if it does not inconvenience him too much; The wants and needs of everyone else as long as he gets something out of it).  

Once he bonded closely enough with Obi Wan, one of Xanatos’s wants is for Obi Wan to be happy (this is why he tries to find a different Master for Obi Wan, so he can kill Qui Gon in peace). The years of leading Qui Gon around, his situationship with Komari, and later Shmi, and the sheer amount of people he gets to complain about Qui Gon to drain his hatred of Qui Gon enough that he no longer wants specifically to kill him combined with the fact that there are more people he wants to be happy means that he is not out enslaving children or killing people for insulting him. So he becomes much more stable, though still much more willing to commit violence and use underhanded methods than anyone is comfortable with.