#everytime i look at these STUPID FACES i practically piss myself laughing what is wrong with me

[ecto-biologist]

I'm cooking........

[girislovegirislife]

I kinda blacked out when I wrote this and woke up with puffy eyes so uh enjoy hopefully sorry if it's bad pls put constructive criticism in the comments also sorry for the shit ending

You were a wife a wonderful beautiful wife to a powerful emperor; you both lived luxuriously and loved each other very much. Too bad he had his concubine a gorgeous woman named Aiko. She was utter perfection from what one could tell. Probably better than you (at least thats what you think to yourself on those lonely nights where you have to listen to them giggle and laugh in the other room while you sorrowfully lay in bed alone.)

You dont know exactly when it happened really, just one day you two were introduced and the next it was like you were the concubine and she was the wife. Now don't get me wrong she was sweet, incredibly sweet, too sweet. Her stupid empathetic looks towards you. Her idiotic apologies when you two were alone in a room together. Everything she did pissed you the fuck off.

One day you couldn't bare it anymore. The heartache of seeing the man you love constantly choosing another woman when he married you too great for you to handle.

You write your Goodbye note and leave it plastered onto the vanity and you try to take your own life with slices to the wrists.

It didn't work.

You wake up in a hospital bed and Aiko standing right next to you sobbing out. Why? Why did she care? Why does she bother? Why isn't she happy you're gone and she gets your husband all to herself?

Then she says it.

Something you think you mishear but she says it. "Please I only got involved with him for you please. I'm sorry. Please."

You couldn't believe why would she a perfect gorgeous woman get involved with someone else for you?

You get better no thanks to your husband who suspiciously had "Too much work to visit you." Complete bullshit. Bullshit you should've expected at this point.

You lay awake in bed alone. Again. Waiting on him until you hear the door open. You excitedly sit up expecting your husband only to see Aiko. Again. You look confused until she says, "I know you probably despise me and think I ruined your marriage but please listen,"

You get confused as you hear the shameful tone in her voice and quickly understand as you see blood on her hands as she continues on, "He can't hurt us anymore I did this for us. I've wanted you since forever. Everything I did was for us. I tricked him into making me his concubine just so I could see you. I forced him to grow distanced from you so I could get closer. And I know that didn't work quite the way I wanted but please I love you so much I never wanted you to hurt yourself I just wanted to get you away from him so we could get closer."

You slowly back up her crazed eyes practically staring through your soul as she gets closer, and she climbs onto the bed still in her nightwear and gets closer to you kissing you softly. "I've always only wanted you," she says in between kisses and continues on "I had to stop myself from throwing up everytime he kissed me cause I knew it would never be as heavenly as your kiss."

She begins grabbing your hands sliding them up her nightgown and to her breasts. "Go on touch me please I know you want too."

You feel something snap in you and can't hold back as you both begin roughly making out your hands both exploring both of each others bodies as you lay her underneath you. "Fuck please touch me please I'm so wet for you please I'm NGH~ AH~" she says as you begin roughly teasing her clit rubbing circles on it. "PleeAase I need more~" She says in between whines.

Her eyes widen and you pull off her soaked underwear tossing it somewhere else and begin roughly eating her out forcing your tongue into her hole. "SHIT~ ahh Ah~ pl~please more PLEASE~!" She desperately whines out bucking her hips onto her face.

She grips your hair desperately her eyes rolling back and her tongue lulling out as she squirts right into your mouth.

"Finally you're mine forever~"

[canigetawaho]

I had just remembered some fun memories so ig now it's time for some fun facts about me yey 👐 (this is so long but it made me happy 🤷‍♀️)

1. Every sports professor had been hit in the head with a ball at least once by me. The only exception is my college one because he just calls us on the exam day so I have never touched a ball with him (I also want to point out the fact that everytime I hit them wasn't planed, just an accident)

Now, I had a professor that no matter how much both of us tried I would always hit her the moment I had a ball in my hands and it got to the point where she banned me from playing with them but she was to much of a sweetheart to do it for long so until she moved I kept on hitting her (and I felt sorry for her but I also loved playing). Years later we just happened to bump into eachother but I had forgotten how she looked like by then and I recognized her for the simple fact that the moment she saw me, she tried to protect her head with her hands(she had met her mortal enemy again, now I can't help but remember the Jojo meme with those two people approaching eachother)

But seriously, I was fortunate that she wasn't mad at me and actually thought it was a bit funny so we had a good laugh when we met again <3 :)

2. The head of my middle school in my last year there started a man hunt. For context, we have an exam at the end of middle school to see in what high school we will get in and the adults at that time really cared about reputation in general (and some did just want the best for us so, not all bad) and one of the subjects was math. Now I am very bad at it and we had at a simulation a very simple exercise that was meant to give a point for even the most stupid, we had to draw the geometric figure they mentioned in the exercise, that's it and I just so happened to be the only one that got that wrong lmao so the head of the school was pissed to say the least and because he wasn't allowed to open the sealed exam paper, he went in every class, talked to every professor and said everything he could think of to try and find the idiot but nobody snitched up so he was forced to give up. I had a field day watching that man loose his cool though and I did tell a few professors of mine the truth so they also had fun with the whole situation (also at the real math exam I had one of those professors that knew as my supervisor so it was a bit funny when he saw I was the first one to finish and his face filled with horror)

3. There was an ad with a dude that did a poor electrical job and got electrocuted cartoon style. He was called Dorel (it's kinda like a meme name in my country) and I really liked that ad as a child so when my uncle will say "Dorel do *cartoon scene from the ad*" I would do it and it got to a point where I got so used to him calling me Dorel that I wouldn't respond to him (and only him because there were other members that liked the joke but didn't do it as often) unless he would use that name and he kinda panicked but everyone had a good laugh (I was very little like 2-3? so I don't remember but my mom told me the story and I just adore it)

3. Now some Romanian language lessons yey you didn't think you will learn something new today did you? Well, in my language we use a group of sounds to form certain words: "ce", "ci", "ge", "gi", "che", "chi", "ghe", "ghi" and my mom tried to teach me words with this sounds but her attempt failed miserably because she had made 1 crucial mistake, she said a fruit as the last word before she let me try and my little self decided to also say a fruit even if it didn't use what she wanted. I was very proud of myself for that at the time :))

4. As a child, I thought that flowers were growing from the petals and I had practically distroyed my grandma's garden, planting the petals in the ground thinking it's gonna become so pretty now that I helped and then called her to look at it. Poor women, no wonder she became as white as a ghost :))

5. In highschool I had a professor that I absolutely hated with a burning passion so whenever I thought she wasn't around, I would say things like "she's a witch" and "we should throw some water on her to melt her" and every time I would come to find out that she was just a few meters away from me (but she never said anything, and because it's not in her character to not say something when she didn't like a certain thing, I just assumed, hoped, prayed she never heard me). The funniest though was the fact that I was in some random part of my town on some business with my mom and I was badmouthing that professor again only for her to spawn out of nowhere right on the other side of the street. I swear she always appeared whenever I talked about her (even faster if I said something bad). Something similar happened with another professor that caught me swearing one day the "she's behind me isn't she" style and since then I would always without fail bump into her wherever I happened to be in school until she left (and until then I had never seen her outside of class)

This is all I remember for now, just some little shenanigans that I hold dear :)

[radishaur]

Hi! I love waking up in the morning to find my feed filled with your writing! You’re so good! I was wondering if you can write a zuko x female reader based on the song “Easy as all that” by Miniature Tigers? That song gives me major pining!zuko vibes. Hope your day/night is going well! :)

Oh my goodness, this literally melted my heart! 🥺 Thank you so so much! Also I would love to do a song request! I think that idea is so cool! I hope you enjoy!

- Zoe

•••

Crazy About You (Zuko x Reader)

Warnings: none

Genre: Fluff

Part: 1/1

Summary: See request

•••

When Zuko invaded the Southern Water Tribe, he had expected to find the Avatar. What he did not expect to find was you.

You were absolutely fearless, not hesitating to attack him when he threatened you. You were also incredibly talented at fighting. Without even breaking a sweat, you were able to beat him in a fight. Your water bending was powerful. You were clearly a beginner, but that didn’t matter. Your sheer power was enough to knock him off his feet.

Not to mention you were undeniably beautiful. Of course, nothing could ever come of it. You were enemies. Destined to fight each other until the end of time. He had no choice but to repress the feelings you gave him down into oblivion.

Admittedly, he wasn’t very good at it though. Everytime you guys went head to head he would always be careful not to hurt you. He even purposefully let you escape sometimes. Not that you needed him to. He knew you were perfectly capable of taking care of yourself.

There had been multiple times he went back and forth about confessing his feelings for you. He knew they were wrong and that you would obviously be disgusted, which made him want to keep his mouth shut. But on the other hand, his Uncle had once told him that being honest about your feelings is better than hiding them. Maybe if he told you then he could finally get rid of them.

He shook his head. Right now was not the time to be thinking about you. His nerves about seeing you again made him distracted, but he needed to practice his speech. Not get flustered over a girl.

He straightened up and looked at the badger frog who was sitting on the log in front of him. He took a deep breath before starting.

“Hello, Zuko here. But I guess you probably already know me....sort of,” he trailed off, rubbing his head sheepishly.

This was not a good start.

“Uh, so, the thing is, I have a lot of firebending experience and I’m considered to be pretty good at it. Well, you’ve seen me....You know, when I was attacking you?” he asked, quickly realizing that was probably not the best thing to bring up, “Uh, yeah, I guess I should apologize for that.”

Not a good start at all.

“B-But anyway, I’m good now. I mean, I thought I was good before, but now I realize I was bad. But anyways...,” he sighed, realizing this was not going to be easy, “I think it’s time I joined your group and taught the Avatar firebending.”

There was a beat of silence as the badger frog croaked.

“That wasn’t bad, but I would probably tweak a few things.”

I spun around in shock to see her leaning against a tree behind me. She had a basket in her hand that was full of fish. She must have been hunting food down for the group. I looked at her cautiously, unsure if she was going to attack me or not.

“It’s a good infiltration plan I have to say, although none of us are stupid enough to believe it after everything you’ve put us through,” she continued, pushing herself up off the tree and coming closer.

“I-It’s not- I’m not-“ I tried to say, my words getting stuck in my mouth as she came closer.

“Why else would you be practicing your speech? Usually people who are genuine don’t need to rehearse what they’re saying,” she argued, standing a mere few inches away from me.

I blushed in embarrassment and crossed my arms over my chest.

“I’m not exactly a people person. It usually helps to practice beforehand,” I mumbled.

“Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation? Shy? I don’t believe it for a second. Although you’re a good actor,” she insisted, her glare so intense I felt like she was looking inside my soul.

“I didn’t even know you were there! Why would I be acting for myself?” I exclaimed, my blush growing as my embarrassment doubled.

She seemed to hesitate to take in my point. She took a step backwards and looked at me in shock.

“You’re being serious,” she said in disbelief.

“Yes. I’m being serious,” I huffed, finally looking back at her.

I immediately regretted it. She looked beautiful and I felt paralyzed to the spot as she looked at me. Her gaze had softened when she realized I wasn’t joking about joining the Avatar and her stance had relaxed significantly. The way the sun shone on her and glimmered in her eyes-

“What are you looking at?” she asked, looking over her shoulder for something that wasn’t there.

“Oh! Uh....nothing. I just uh- I thought I saw something,” I replied, my whole face going red in embarrassment at being caught staring.

She looked at me once more before sighing. She grabbed my arm and began dragging me behind her.

“Come on, then. If you’re really serious I can convince them to believe you,” she said.

“R-Really? You would do that? I’ve given you no reason to trust me,” I responded, shocked that she had believe me so easily.

“Because you’ve always let me go. You never really attacked me and I know you could have if you wanted to. There’s good in you somewhere,” she answered.

Her response made me more flustered that I was before. My stomach flipped as she spoke and I could feel my cheeks heat up. Did she really notice I was going easy on her? And did she know why?

I didn’t ask any of the questions I had. I just followed after her as she led me down to the group. They had all been horrified to see her dragging me behind her and they went to attack, but she held them off. She let me explain myself and, despite some rough patches, got them to accept me as a prisoner.

It was clear to me then how much trust the gaang had in her. She stood by my side even after I accidentally told them I sent an assassin after them and she had been able to convince them to let me stay. They clearly didn’t want me to, but they agreed because she asked them to. Even though she wasn’t related to any of them, they treated her like family. They trusted her with their lives.

She truly was special.

It wasn’t until after I saved the group from Combustion Man that they began to trust me on my own. Aang and Toph were almost immediately on board with me while Sokka and Katara were more hesitant. But Y/N was by far my #1 supporter and grew to be my best friend. She did everything in her power to help me gain the group’s trust.

She accompanied Aang and I to the ancient Sun Warrior’s temple. She helped me break Sokka’s dad and girlfriend out of prison. She even tracked down Katara and Sokka’s mom’s killer with me. All to get me to trust them.

And everything she did just made it harder for me to repress my feelings for her. Her laugh sent butterflies off in my stomach. Her smile made my heart ache. Her kindness made me feel things I had never felt before. And there were countless times I had been caught staring at her.

Pretty much everybody could see I was desperately head over heels for her. But I was still fighting myself over wether to tell her or not. I really wanted to tell her. Especially now that we had become friends, it could be possible. But there was always a tiny voice in my head that told me I would never be good enough for her. It told me that I wouldn’t be able to treat her the way she deserved. That she deserved someone worthy of her and that I clearly wasn’t.

That was the battle I had within myself everytime I saw her and now was not an exception to that.

Sokka had convinced us all to go see a play about ourselves. I had originally been against the idea until I saw how excited Y/N was to go. I immediately agreed after that. Now, she was sitting right next to me as we waited for the play to start.

My heart was pounding out of my chest. She was so close to me that if I moved even an inch to the right we would be touching. Her hand brushed against mind as she talked with Katara, spending sparks through my arm. She had no idea how crazy she drove me.

“Zuko, are you ok?” Aang asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.

“Huh?...Oh! Y-Yea. Just nervous about the play,” I lied.

Luckily, Aang was gullible. That or he decided to spare me the embarrassment of pressing the issue. Either way, he let it go. Pretty soon, the play had started. Everybody was pissed with how their chatacter was portrayed except Y/N. She was displayed as head strong and independent, constantly shown beating stage me in our fights. To be fair, that part was incredibly accurate. Plus, her excitement over her portrayal was enough to make me forget my annoyance about how state me was portrayed.

The play itself was kind of terrible. The storyline was skewed and the relationships between everyone felt off. It was annoying, but bearable. At least she was happy. After a brief intermission, the play continued. I was thoroughly bored up until the scene in the crystal catacombs. At that point, I’m pretty sure my heart stopped beating.

“I have to admit Prince Zuko, I really find you attractive,” Actress Katara said.

“You don’t have to make fun of me!” Actor Zuko snapped in response.

“But I mean it. I’ve had eyes for you since you first captured me,” Actress Katara cooed.

“Wait. I thought you were the Avatar’s girl?” Actor Zuko asked in confusion.

“The Avatar? Why he’s like a little brother to me,” Actress Katara said through fits of laughter, “I certainly don’t think of him in a romantic way.”

“Well, that’s too bad for you. I’ve only ever had eyes on Y/N,” Actor Zuko exclaimed, turning to face Actress Y/N who was watching from the side.

Everyone turned to look at me and I shrunk into my seat. Thank Agni the theatre was dark otherwise they would clearly see the blush covering my face.

“You like me?” Actress Y/N asked with a laugh.

“Your beauty and power is alluring. You’ve had my heart since the day I met you,” Actor Zuko said, taking Actress Y/N’a hands in his.

I could feel everyone’s eyes on me as I hid my face in my hood. I desperately wanted this scene to be over.

Oh how I would soon regret that wish.

Actress Y/N laughed uncontrollably. She even wiped a fake tear from her eyes when she was done.

“I could never like you!” Actress Y/N exclaimed , pushing Actor Zuko away, “I’m much to powerful for you. You disgust me. You’re nothing but a monster. An obstacle in my way.”

I felt my heart sink. Even though she hadn’t actually said those things, it hurt like she did. I needed to leave. I saw Aang getting up to leave and mumbled something about going with him before bolting out of the theatre.

I walked outside the theatre as I thought over everything that had happened. I scolded myself for ever allowing myself to feel things for her. What Actress Y/N had said was probably true. How could she ever see me as anything other than a monster? She was much better than I ever could be, not to mention everything I’d put her and her friends through.

I sat down at the beach that was across from the theatre. I groaned as I let myself lean against the rocks. I cursed under my breath. How did I let myself get so worked up over a stupid play. A stupid play about stupid-

“Hey.”

My heart dropped into my stomach. I felt like I was going to be sick from nerves. I opened my eyes and looked to the side to see Y/N sitting next to me in the sand. I looked up at the stars to avoid her gaze.

“Hi,” I forced myself to say.

“You seemed upset when you stormed out of the theatre, so I wanted to come check on you,” she explained, placing a hand on my shoulder.

Her touch sent a shock across my whole body. Even just her touch drove me wild. I was properly and thoroughly whipped.

“I’m fine,” I insisted, still not looking at her.

“You wouldn’t have stormed off if something didn’t upset you,” she argued, scooting even closer to me.

Spirits, I wanted nothing more than to pull her close to me and never let go. To her over and over again. I forced myself to stop thinking about how close she was. I needed to forget about it. It would never happen. Ever.

“Is it because of what Actress Me said?” she asked.

“I...” I went to deny it, but couldn’t come up with something to say, so I simply sighed.

“Zuko, you know I don’t see you as a monster, right?” she assured me, squeezing my shoulder as she did.

“Why not?” I exclaimed, finally looking at her as I felt my heart breaking into a million pieces, “After everything I’ve done to you and your friends, why don’t you hate me?”

She seemed taken aback at my sudden outburst before her expression softened once more. She let her hand drop from my shoulder and instead took my hand in hers. She gave me a soft smile as she squeezed it.

“Because you’re a good person who got handed a terrible hand of cards to start your life with. I don’t blame you for struggling. I think that makes you an even better person, actually. It means you’re not afraid to work for what’s right, even if it’s hard,” she explained.

I couldn’t stop myself anymore. She looked radiant in the moonlight and her speech was enough to make my heart explode. I reacted before I could think twice about it. I let my free hand cup her face and pressed my lips onto hers. They were soft and warm and everything I had imagined and more.

But then the realization of what I had just done crashed down on me and I snapped myself back. I stared at her shocked face in horror. Oh Agni what had I done?

“I-I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. Oh spirits, I-“ I began apologizing before I was muffled by her lips crashing into mine.

I was surprised that she was kissing me, but that didn’t stop me from kissing back. My heart swelled with joy as I kissed her back, letting my hand cup her cheek softly. When she finally pulled away, she rested her forehead against mine.

“I was wondering how long it was going to take you to do that,” she giggled.

“W-What?” I asked, clearly confused as to what she meant.

“Zuko, you’re not very good at hiding your feelings,” she teased, causing me to get flustered once again.

She laughed as I began to blush profusely. I rubbed the back of my neck sheepishly as I pulled away from her. I felt her hand on my face and then a soft peck on my cheek.

“You’re so cute when you’re embarrassed,” she said, a huge grin plastered on her face.

I felt my face grow hotter as my blush grew more intense, but I couldn’t stop myself from smiling back at her. She stood up and held a hand down for me to take.

“Come on. The intermission will be over soon and everyone will be wondering where we are,” she said.

I grabbed her hand and let her help me on to my feet. She laced her fingers with mine and walked beside me all the way back to the theatre.

The rest of the play sucked. It was probably one of the worst ones they had ever out on. And yet, despite that, I had never been happier. Y/N made me happier than I had ever been before. Looking back, I really should have just come clean about my feelings. But I wouldn’t change it. The way it went down was perfect to me.

Who knew it would be as easy as all that?

[rainbowglittr]

Love and Marriage - Chapter 13 (Mature, Minors DNI)

Description:

After a loss in the family uncovers a family secret, Jaleia and her husband Jesse are forced to balance one family crisis after another along with their budding careers and their plans to expand their family. Will the pressure to keep everyone else together ruin their own relationship? Can ruined relationships be fixed before it’s too late?

tw: implied smut

Chapter 13:

Jaleia's POV

I waited at the baggage claim for Jesse and Diana. Their flight was due any minute now and I couldn't wait to see them. I was actually sick of myself.

Jesse had told me last night that Imani and him had some sort of "encounter." We were definitely going to have to talk about it but for now, I put it out of my mind because I missed him and I just wanted to enjoy the moment. I also didn't buy five new lace lingerie outfits to not wear.

I walked around the area a couple times until I saw a crowd of people coming out the doors. Diana ran over to me, the brightest smile stretched across her face. I wrapped my arms around her.

"How was the trip? How was the flight?" I said.

"It was so much fun! I can't wait to tell you everything!" She said as she bounced up and down. She turned around and pointed to the conveyor belt.

"That's my bag!" She said before running off.

Jesse appeared a few seconds later. We looked a little uneasy. But seeing him in that black v-neck had me feeling some kind of way. Three weeks is a long time, okay?

I ran over to him, practically jumping onto him, but he moved quick to hold me.

"Hey J-" he started to say but I kissed him, pulling him even closer. We paused to take a breath and then let our mouths explore each other as his hands slid lower and lower on my body.

"Ewwww, Jesse! People are starting to stare." Diana said. She wheeled her bag over to where we were.

"Let them stare." He said. He kissed me three more short times before we decided to break apart.

"I got your bags, Jess." She said.

"Aww thanks, little sis." He said, taking the bags from her. She put earbuds in her ear.

"Well we have officially lost her." Jesse said, holding my hand.

"I'm afraid so. So besides the giant hoe shaped elephant in the room which we will be talking about later, how was your trip?" I said as we made our way through the airport to the car.

"That's one way to put it. It was great I missed L.A. You gotta come with me sometime. "

"You keep saying that yet I never get to go. Anyway I missed you sooo much that I bought something a little special something for we to wear and you to take off."

"Oh yeah?"

"Wait until we get home. I want you and me to go into that bedroom and not come out until the next morning. I want to be screaming, not just pleasured, not just content, not just really good, I want to be screaming your name. Can you do that?" I said in his ear.

"Damn Jay, I leave for three weeks and your turn into a freak? Hell yeah I can do that."

"Good." I said. Jesse reached over and tapped Di on the shoulder. She looked up and took out an earbud.

"I'm just saying I suggest you watch a movie in the basement or play some really loud music when we get home." He said.

"Why? She said, her eyebrows scrunched in confusion.

"Oh no reason, just might be nice for tonight." He said.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

"What the fuck did you just say?"

"I am so sorry Jay. I didn't mean it, I swear it just slipped out."

"You are about to slip off this earth! I can't believe you would say her name!"

We and Jesse were having a great night. We were on round two of the evening when Jesse called out Imani's name while we were doing it. I have never slapped anyone that fast before.

"I didn't mean to! I don't even know why I said it!"

"Are you trying to tell me something Jesse? What the hell was that? What the HELL was that?" I yelled at him. We were standing on the opposite sides of the bed and everytime he tried to get near me I picked something up to throw at him.

"I swear to God, Jaleia it was a mistake. It didn't mean it. I don't even know how it slipped out!"

"Damn right it was a mistake! Were you thinking of her while we having sex?"

"No, God no. Not at all I have no idea where that came from."

"I am so done with you I can't even look at you." I said.

"Come on, You love looking at this." He said, narrowly dodging the shoe I launched at his head.

"Okay not the time I get it." He said.

"You fucking Bastard."

"Okay, enough with name calling."

"All I wanted was to enjoy one night with my stupid husband and he calls me by his ex hoes name? You got me SO fucked up. Since it's clear neither of us will be having anymore sex tonight, let's talk about Imani. Let's talk about that." I said, grabbing my robe and tying it around my waist.

"Maybe we should wait until we're both a little more calm-"

"The calm ship sailed when your ship sailed into my harbor and called me by the wrong name. Let me tell you something Jesse. I am a doctor and I could kill you and make it look like accident. Sit down and Start talking." I said, sitting down facing him. He reached his arm out to me.

"Touch me and you will lose that arm. What happened between you and Imani?" He quickly moved his arm away from me and sat down.

"We were at the studio. We just finished and I stayed behind to work on another song. It was just Dre and me and Imani. Dre went to the bathroom. And then Imani-"

"Why didn't you leave? I told you not to be alone with her! Obviously I was right."

"Dre went to the bathroom, it was only supposed to be for a minute."

"But it wasn't, was it?"

"She pounced fast okay? She started dancing and kept trying get me to do stuff and then I walked away and sat on the couch. That's when she climbed into my lap. Eventually I got her off me and left. But that's all that happened."

"I still can't believe you would say her name!"

"Are you mad?"

"I'm not mad at you for what someone else did to you. If you didn't tell me I would've been pissed. Her, on the other hand, better not ever come near me or you again."

"I love you."

"Did you want to? Sleep with her." I looked him dead in the face. He squirmed a little and then looked up, not meeting my eyes

"Not really."

"What the hell does 'not really' mean?"

"To be honest, She's not ugly and I was sex deprived. But that's the only reason."

"You being horny? No other reason or feelings?"

"No. I have no feelings for her. Please don't be mad at me."

"I told you I'm not mad at you for something you didn't do. I pissed at what you just did."

Jesse put his arm on my shoulder. I slapped it off.

"Don't touch me. I'm still mad at you!"

"It was an accident!"

"I hope the couch is comfortable tonight."

>>>>>>>>>>>>

I flipped another perfect pancake. Sunday mornings were so peaceful. Both Jesse and Diana were asleep so I quietly came downstairs to start breakfast without waking them up. I flipped the bacon the hickory smoke smell filled the kitchen. I went to the refrigerator and grabbed a carton of strawberries and started to cut them.

I felt a pair of arms wrap themselves around my waist.

"Get off." I said.

"Are you seriously still mad, Jay?"

"Yes, how would you like it if we making love and I called you another man's name?"

"I see how that could be problematic. Can you pass me a strawberry?" He said.

I purposefully threw it across the room.

"Can you please tell me what's really bothering you?" He said. He cut the stove burners off and used my waist to turn me around to face him. I looked at the floor.

"Do you have any idea how that made me feel? You calling her name. I mean I know I'm the one to zone out. But I wouldn't call someone else's name. Makes me wonder if you're actually in the moment with me-and you know that's hard enough for me, or if you're think about other people. Especially her? Do you regret not sleeping with her?"

Jesse got on his knees looking up at me from my waist.

"I'm so sorry. Trust me it will never happen again. It was an honest random fuck up, it has nothing to do with how I feel about you. You know that. I'm done with Imani, I don't want her, she's done, she's history, in the past and sealed up. I love you and only you."

"Are you sure? Because if you ever do that again I swear I will-"

Jesse quickly attached his lips to mine.

"I will never do that again. Never. I love you."

"Love your stupid ass too. I hop you didn't max out your card in Cali, cause this is soooooooo going to cost you."

"Oh God. What is this going to cost me?"

"My bracelet could use some matching friends. "

"Do you know how expensive that bracelet was?"

"I know how expensive it's friends are going to be."

"So if I do that, will you stop being mad at me?"

"I might even have sex with you." I said, standing on my toes to kiss the tip of his nose. He kissed the side of my neck.

"I don't get a second chance?"

"Oh, you will. Try not to moan another girl's name though, total mood killer."

"You know what?" Jesse said, picking me up and slinging me over his shoulder.

"Put me down!" I laughed. He started tickling my sides, and spinning me around, causing me to scream and laugh. Eventually he brought me to the living room and threw me down on the couch. He straddled me, his hands still attacking my sides. I tried to push his hands off but he grabbed them and held them down above my head with one hand.

"I'm not going to lie, that was extremely sexy. But if you don't stop, I'm going to piss myself. " I said.

"Oh, really?" He said smirking. "I'll let you go, for a price."

"What's that?" I said looking at him, trying to catch my breath.

"Should I leave the room?" Diana said, walking down the stairs. We both looked toward the stairs. Jesse kissed me and helped me up.

"No, we're not going to have sex since you're here now." He teased. She was quiet for a second and then said,

"Have you done it on the couch?"

"Who wants breakfast?" I said as I walked back to the kitchen. What she didn't know wouldn't hurt her.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I looked in the fridge for something to eat. I found some chicken pasta that I had ordered a couple of days ago.

Jesse walked by me and said "I wouldn't eat that if I were you."

"I have a stomach of steel."

I did not have a stomach of steel. I threw up about two hours after eating that pasta. I was sitting on the floor of the bathroom after the second wave of vomit. I was trying to be quiet so Jesse wouldn't hear me and so that I didn't have to admit that he was right. At first he walked by the bathroom and then he backed up.

"I told you. I told you not to do it!" He said laughing.

"Shut up!" I tried to cross my arms but my stomach was killing me. Jesse walked in and started massaging my lower back.

"I'm sorry you didn't listen to me." He said.

"Shut up!" He laughed.

"Do you want something to drink?" He asked.

"Maybe some ginger ale and water please.' I said. Jesse got up, kissed the top of my head and started walking out the room when the doorbell rang.

"Jay I'll be right back." He said walking to the door.

"My baby!" I heard Aiesha say. Oh great, another random visit from Aiesha.

"Hey mom, HEY DIANA, come down. How ya doing mom?"

"I missed you guys so much. I have so much to tell you, Jesse."

"Okay you wanna sit in the living room, I'll be right back."

He came back to me with the soda and water.

"We have a visitor. " he said.

"I heard. If you wanna close the door so that it doesn't smell like vomit go ahead."

"Nah, it's fine. Let me know if you need anything, I'll check on you."

"Go ahead." Another wave hit me and I hurled myself over the toilet.

"We can go to the hospital."

"No, I'm fine. It'll pass. My fault for being stupid, hungry, and lazy."

"Okay, but if you don't feel better you're going." He said, kissing my forehead.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

"So there's an offical date set for the start of your dad's trial. They will start in about three months. The prosecution wants him on as many charges as they can and want to put him away for as long as possible." Aiesha said.

I had finished, for now, my temporary bout of mild food poisoning, and I was sitting on the floor in between Jesse's legs, sitting literally anywhere else made me nauseous. Jesse was sitting on the couch, apparently his mom had a ton of news for him, that she waited until he was back for Cali to tell him. After her usual twenty insults she finally started talking.

"Also, I could be closing on the house in the next few weeks, there is a couple that is really interested in it and they are considering putting in an offer. So if that goes through, then I'll be able to really take time and find the house I want."

"Congrats, mom! I hope it goes through. But once it gets sold where are you going to stay?" Jesse said.

"Well, Mel's sister lives in the same neighborhood and Mel was coming up for a visit, so I'll be with them. But it shouldn't be for long because I put in an offer on a house and guess what?"

"Really that's great! What?" Jesse said.

"It's right around the corner from here!" She said with a huge smile on her face. I turned and faced Jesse with the fakest smile I could muster.

"Can you believe that Jess? She found the perfect house just around the corner from us. She'd only be five minutes away." I said, trying to keep my face pleasant.

"I know I heard, that's so great mom! Just around the corner, wow! Great!" He said. I could tell he wasn't that happy about it by the look he gave me.

"And Di wouldn't have to change schools because our towns share a school district. I can come over ALL the time. I might even have time to teach Jaleia some class." She said. I let that insult fly over my head.

"Oh my Gosh, she'll be here all the time Jess, isn't that going to be great?" I said, squeezing Jesse's hand.

"Super." He said.

"Don't get too excited. I still need them to accept my offer."

"Oh we would hate to Jinx it."

"Why do you have so many damn post its everwhere? Your house looks like a damn clown house."

"It's how I remember some of the stuff I have to do. Or how Jesse reminds me."

"I forgot you were one of those scattered brained people." She said her face turning up into an unpleasant expression. She was the type of person to say that ADHD wasn't a real thing or was a "white people" thing just because she didn't like me. But for anyone else it was a legitimate problem.

"Mom. You know-" Jesse started but I interrupted him. I wasn't going to have this conversation with her again, she knew what she was doing and I refused to waste time entertaining it. I had enough of a hard time dealing with having it, and an even harder time with people dealing with it. It wasn't something that most people knew about me. And I intentionally did that. And she knows that's a sore spot with me which is why I won't give her the satisfaction of upsetting me.

"Jesse your mom already knows and we've already had the discussion about her lack of sensitivity. So I won't discuss it again."

I felt my stomach bubble and decided to take my leave now before it got too much. I tapped Jesse's leg before I went to the upstairs bathroom this time. After emptying my digestive tract again and brushing my teeth I started to come downstairs. I stopped when I heard Jesse's voice sounding slightly angry.

"I told you mom, you have to stop. Nobody wants to deal with you criticizing them all the time."

"Well you know how I feel about her, I'm telling you, you settled with her. She is such a downgrade. And she's crazy, I mean she calls it ADHD, but come on? The girl is not wrapped tight. "

"I try to be patient with you, but you're not going to keep talking about her like that. Enough is enough. Stop it. I'm so sick of it."

"Fine, I'll try to keep my opinions to myself. I'm sorry to upset you but I'm your mother. It's my job to tell you the truth. You don't have to like it."

"Look when she comes down you need to apologize. She doesn't deserve that. "

I heard her sigh. "Whatever."

I continued my walk downstairs. Jesse had this crazy idea after the first time I met his mom that eventually she would grow to like me. But in actuality, she just hated me more with every day. He tried to keep the peace, and he always tried to get us to get along but as I've told him, it is never going to work.

"Mom." Jesse said. Aiesha sighed and gave me the most indifferent expression on her face and said.

"I apologize."

"Okay." I said. Jesse gave me a look to which I non verbally responded "What?"

His mom got up and went downstairs to the basement to talk to Diana.

"Jay." Jesse said.

"What?" I said.

"At least she apologized."

"If that's what you want to call it. I should not have eaten that pasta." I said as my stomach suddenly started bubbling again.

"I told you! You have to throw up again?" He said laughing.

"Worse, other end." I said running to the bathroom.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

I sat on the toliet seat and put the timer on my phone. I tried not to obsess too much about getting pregnant and I tried to wait a little longer before taking the test but it was three days since I missed my period and I couldn't wait any longer.

My timer went off. I grabbed the stick and took a deep breath, and looked.

[peter-parkourwrites]

Searching For Forever ~ Part 6. (Peter Parker x Stark!FemReader)

Summary: When everything seems almost too perfect, your family is starting to fall to pieces. Your father chooses his path, and Steve chooses the opposite, and you’re in the middle of it all. Only confiding in your best friend who just so happens to be everyones favorite Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man, and the one you fall for.

Warnings: Swearing, Angst, mentions of blood

Word Count:

series masterlist

~~

When your dad came home that night, he was completely silent, he dropped the food on the kitchen island, and stormed off to his lab, Peter’s suit in his hand. You called Peter about thirty times, and no answer. He didn’t show up to school the next day and when he finally did, he didn’t talk to you. He barely even talked to Ned. So you found yourself sitting with Harry, and Betty’s friends. Which consisted of Jason who was always on the morning announcements with Betty, Cindy, and Abraham. And somehow you managed to drag MJ along, she didn’t really like it but as long as you were there she was fine to read, sketch, and sometimes even join in on the conversation.

You didn’t get the full story of what happened but you were able to piece it together. You knew Peter got his suit taken away, that much was obvious. It was even more so when your dad asked you to replace the tracker and put more locks on protocols. He told you about the ferry incident, but what you didn’t get from him you got from news outlets and twitter feed. Seeing Peter so… heartbroken and beat up over all of this broke your heart. You wanted to help, you tried to talk to him but everytime he just ignored you and even went as far as to tell you to shut up one time. So from then on you only gave him shy smiles when he glanced over at you, and sent a supportive message every once in awhile. You and Ned were still close, and he often told you about how Peter was doing, but only if you asked. You knew Ned was only trying to be there for Peter, and you were glad it was at least Ned if it wasn’t you.

When you first met Peter Parker, you were unsure how you felt about him. You met at school of course, and yeah he might have spilt orange juice all over your brand new converse but something inside you told you not to flip out on him. You didn’t know why, and you could never have known that he would be the cause of your first heartbreak, he would be your first love. You just saw him as some goofy kid, with a cute smile who tripped over his own two feet constantly. From then on everything you felt had been a confusing mess. And for the first time in your life, you were unsure how to feel about something. The way you felt about him was uncharted territory, then and now. Sure you had dated other people, but it didn’t even last a month or so until you left. Only having enough room in your heart for one other person, Peter Parker. That spot in your heart was reserved for him and only him. Sure, you ignored it as best as possible as the years went on, but you could only hide emotions like that for so long. For the first time in your life, you were finding yourself in a problem that you didn’t know how to solve…

Well of course you knew it was just a matter of if you wanted to solve it.

“(Y/N)? Hello?” Harry waved his hand in front of your face as you swallowed a fry and looked over at him.

“Personal space, Osborn.” You teased nudging his arm slightly.

“Well sorry I didn’t know asking you a question was invading your personal space.”

“Haha very funny. But what’s up?”

“Are you going to Homecoming?” He asked as Betty grinned and nodded eagerly, waiting for your answer.

“Uh… yeah I think so anyways. I just gotta figure out a dress situation but it shouldn’t be too hard.” You said with a nod as he grinned.

“Cool cool, well I guess uh… I’ll see you there then? Save me a dance will you?” He asked, standing up as the bell rang, a hand reaching down to you. You smiled and nodded, taking his hand in your own as he pulled you up.

“No promises, I’m a very busy girl. But we’ll see.” You teased with a small wink before walking off with MJ and Jason to art class.

“I gotta piss, don’t fuck up my painting.” You teased nudging MJ as you walked by her.

“Wouldn’t dream of it Stark.” She muttered, going back to her sketch.

You walked down the empty hallways letting your feet scrape against the polished floors, ignoring the small squeaks they were giving off. When you were about to round the corner you halted hearing Peter’s voice.

“Hey I thought you had calculus this period?” You raised a brow before hearing Liz speak up. You knew it was wrong to listen in, but hey no harm no foul.

You leaned a bit closer to hear what they were saying, and gulped hearing Peter’s next words.

Five simple words. Five fucking words, and you felt your heart shatter against your ribcage. Bringing a hand up to your mouth you felt a tear slide down your cheek before racing off, not even wanting to hear Liz’s answer.

“All harm, all foul.” You repeated the mantra in your head as you raced to the next closest bathroom and practically flung yourself into the stall. You let quiet sobs rack through your body as you leaned against the cool wall beside you. With a shaky hand you pulled out your phone and quickly typed a message to MJ.

You: Emergency. West corridor bathroom. NOW.

Once it sent, you sunk down against the wall and brought your knees into your chest, as tears fell from your cheek to the floor.

“Fuck fuck fuck.” You muttered resting your head on top of your kneecaps.

At first it was just a dumb rumor, and sure you were a bit nervous about it, but it was just a rumor. It didn’t mean anything at the time. But now, with blurred vision, shaky hands, and trouble breathing it was anything but a rumor. The boy, you so desperately, selfishly wanted for your own was giving up on you.

“Pumpkin? Are you almost done?! Pep and I want pictures!” Your father called as he knocked on your door. You fiddled with the ends of your dress and let out a shaky sigh. It was now homecoming night, and you were determined to have a good time. Natasha had curled your hair, and you pulled it back into a half up half down look, to go with your dress. You had a delicate looking maroon dress, it came to a stop just above your knees, the skirt was all red, as was the top but it had black lace covering it, and the red stopped at your shoulders, but the lace continued down to your wrists. You paired it with black heels, and some gold necklaces as well as diamond earrings. And you looked good. Your makeup was simple, a little bit of eyeshadow, mascara, concealer, but what pulled it all together was the killer highlight that made you glow.

“Yeah I’m good!” You called, grabbing your clutch with your phone, and lipgloss. When you opened your door, your father and Pepper turned around and both gasped before coming to hug you tightly.

Pictures were taken, and many hugs were given. As you chatted with the team, laughing at their jokes and mild attempts to threaten anyone who tried to flirt with you. The doorbell rang. You hugged everyone goodbye before your dad walked up from the front door, Harry in tow.

“Sweetheart, care to tell me why there is a boy here asking for you?”

“Harry!” You cheered and ran up to him giving him a short hug, before turning back to the group, Harry nervously shuffled behind you, all eyes on him.

“Everyone this is Harry, Harry this is the Avengers. He’s going with my friends and I. I’m guessing they sent you up huh?” You said turning towards him. He nodded with a soft chuckle before handing you the corsage.

“Okay we’re leaving now! Bye!” You called off to the team before leading Harry out of the house and to the car.

You felt absolutely gorgeous that night.

And maybe somewhere deep down you did it for yourself, MJ did tell you to mainly dress up for yourself - to feel better, or whatever bullshit she spewed at you while you were shopping for dresses.

~

“Why can’t we just stay homeeeee. I don’t even wanna go to that stupid dance anyway. I’d rather not watch Peter and Liz swap spit while I cry into some un-spiked punch.” You complained, MJ’s hand tugging yours into the shops.

“Because, you’re my best friend and I’m not gonna let you sulk over some idiot boy who you can’t even tell your feelings too.”

“You’re making it seem like it’s my fault Peter asked Liz to homecoming.” You suggested, crossing your arms over your chest as MJ began sorting through dress on the rack for you.

“Well yeah, cuz it is. I mean not directly. But if you told him how you felt we wouldn’t be in this shitty mess.” She remarked, quirking a brow in your direction. You flipped her off and walked up to the rack behind her.

“Okay but that doesn’t mean I should put myself in situations where I’m gonna end up crying anyways.”

“No, but if you walk in there looking hot as hell he won’t know what hit him.” She added with a wink tossing you dresses and ushering you into the changing rooms.

~

And boy did you look damn good. You walked, a slow strut into the gym with your small group, your arm looped through Harry’s as a small ‘fuck you’ to Peter. Of course you didn’t really mean it but hey, a little jealousy never hurt anyone.

“Oh! I love this song come on!” You cheered, placing your punch on the table and grabbing Betty’s hand, dragging her to the dance floor. You jumped around, swaying your arms and body to the music, grabbing Betty’s hands as you two spun around and laughed. As much as you didn’t want to come, you were so so glad you did.

“Harry! Jason! Come dance with us!” Betty called to the boys as they walked up to you. You grinned and grabbed Harry’s hands, beginning to dance around with him.

After about ten minutes, you could feel the sweat on your forehead. You huffed and waved them off, telling them you’d be back and walked over to where MJ, and Ned were with the rest of the group. You grabbed your cup muttering a small thank you to MJ before gulping half of it down.

Spacing out for a little bit, you jumped when Ned waved vigorously at the door and MJ gave someone the finger. Curiosity displayed on your face, you leaned over and saw Peter, the curiosity turning to annoyance. Scoffing, you rolled your eyes and turned around to face MJ completely.

“Where’s Liz? Isn’t she his date?” Cindy asked motioning towards Peter who was walking through the crowds of people. You shrugged and walked back up to the punch table, pouring yourself some more of the fruity drink.

A small gasp escaped your lips as you watched Peter race out of the gym.

“Fuckin’ hell Parker.” You muttered, slamming the cup down and walking back over to Ned. “Lets go!” You called, grabbing the collar of his suit jacket and running off the way Peter went.

Everything happened so fast, you were racing down the hallways with Ned one minute, and the next, Ned was shooting Peter’s webs at the shocker guy.

“Guys! The guy with the wings is Liz’s dad!” He cried, coming to a stop in front of you. “Call Mr. Stark and Happy Hogan tell them what’s going on!”

“Peter wait!” You called as he started to run off. “You’re gonna need this.” You said tossing him an earpiece and a tracker.

“Thanks… and for what it’s worth, I’m sorry.” He called, swinging away. You and Ned exchanged a shocked look before running back into the building. You and Ned raced off to the computer lab and you pulled up a chair beside him, watching as he quickly logged in and began to track Peter’s phone.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y pull up Spider-Man’s tracker, and keep me updated on movement.” You said as it was projected in front of you.

“Peter? Do you copy? Tell me what’s happening?” You yelped as Ned nudged you slightly in order to get you to quiet down. “F.R.I. put the comm on speaker so both Ned and I can work and listen.” You said swiping through your contacts and dialing Happy. You tossed the phone to Ned and took over with the tracking.

“He’s by the gamestop on jackson ave.”

“Where are the headlights on this thing? God- I’m in Flashes car!”

“You stole Flash’s car. Ha awesome.”

“No Ned not awesome! Peter can’t go to jail for this shit!” You cried before giving Peter directions on where to go. “Call Happy, hurry!” Ned nodded and dialed his number.

“Take off in five minutes! Who is this?”

“Mr. Happy it’s Ned!”

“Who?”

“Oh for god sake, Happy!”

“Kid?! What the hell, why aren’t you at the dance?”

“I am, just ugh look Peter-”

“Nope bye!” He said before hanging up. You groaned and rested your head on the desk.

“I’m gonna kill him.”

“Well would you do that later?! Kinda need to find Vulture here!”

“Right right, okay uh… he stopped at an old industrial park in Brooklyn.” You said raising a brow at the computer. “F.R.I.D.A.Y. Call my father, tell him what’s going on.”

“Copy that boss.”

“Okay wait wait! He said he was going out of town?”

“Weird, oh we reached Happy and he doesn’t seem to like you very much.” Ned interrupted.

“He doesn’t like anyone.” You deadpanned, your eyes scanning over the computer screen as Vulture’s car stayed put.

“What did he say?” Peter shouted through the comm, as horns honked at him.

“Sounded like he was catching a flight, something about leaving in nine minutes.” You froze and shook your head frantically.

“Fuck fuck fuck! It’s moving day. F.R.I.D.A.Y. Call anyone! If they all don’t answer then get me mock sixteen.”

“Are you sure? It’s not ready yet and-”

“Just do it!” You yelled, slamming your hands down on the table.

“Why what’s this about?”

“He’s going to rob the plane!” You hissed pulling your phone out of your pocket and calling Happy.

“What’re you two doing here? There's a dance.” Your teachers voice sounded through the lab as the lights flicked on. You gulped and looked over at Ned.

“Uhhh… watching porn.” He said and you smacked your palm to your forehead, muttering out apologies as you both walked out of the computer lab.

“Okay listen, you go in and stall everyone. I’ll call you when I find Peter.” You yelled as you raced towards the front doors.

“Wait where are you going?!” He yelled, pushing open the doors. As if on cue one of the drones dropped a small box with the labeling ‘Stark Industries’ on it. You grinned and pulled out the watch, slipping it on your wrist. Ned watched on in amazement as you tapped it three times and a silver and purple suit slid across your body.

“To help the guy I love stop Vulture… Thrusters engage.” You said, and blue flames poured from the feet and hands as you began hovering, “Keep me updated on what’s going on here!” You called towards Ned, tossing him his own earpiece.

“I knew you were in love with Peter!” Ned cheered, raising his fist into the air and jogging back into the building.

“I’ll deal with him later… Watson?” You asked, as the suit whirred to life, taking off.

“Hello Miss Stark. Nice to finally be of service.”

“Skip the formalities for now, access Spider-Man’s tracker and set the suits coordinates to his location.” The suit flew up into the sky, moving as you dodged buildings and flocks of birds.

“Mr. Parker has crash landed on Coney Island beach. He seems like he could use some assistance.”

“No shit, just… fuck uh, switch half the suits power to thrusters and go!” You yelled bracing yourself as they engaged and sent you flying forward faster.

As you approached Coney Island you gasped. Immediately feeling your heart rate increase.

“Ma’am your blood pressure levels are spiking and you are getting extremely hot, I believe you are having a mild panic attack shall I-”

“Waston, just turn on the air and do an infrared scan of the area for bodies.” You whispered the last part as you flew down to the destruction. Seeing your father's new mask prototype laying on the ground you sighed and kicked at it slightly.

“There is one body, alive, seems to be Mr. Parker, to your far left. And the other who seems to be The Vulture within the flames.” You groaned and flew over to where Peter was.

“Oh my god…” You whispered, the mask of your suit retracting as you walked up to him. Carefully, you knelt down beside him, your hands hovering over his body as he groaned in pain. Blood was smeared across his nose, bruises littered his cheeks and collarbones.

“Wh-where is he.” Peter hissed, from pain as he slowly pulled himself up. You gripped his elbow with one hand, using the other to support his back.

“He’s back with the main part of the plane. Peter we need to get out of here he could-”

“No. I’m finishing this.” Was all he said before ripping from your grasp and stalking up to Vulture with every bit of strength he had left.

Before you could process what was going on, Vulture flew at the both of you, knocking you to the ground with a loud thud. Groaning, the mask slid back from your face again as you blinked a few times.

“You asshole! I’m going to be concussed!” You shouted, slowly standing up and looking towards Vulture.

“Hey Pedro… see you’ve got a sidekick, (Y/N) Stark. I’ve heard a lot about you from my daughter, how talented and smart you are. But I never pegged you as one to fight, what’s with the get-up? Daddy build you your own suit?”

“I built it myself headass, and I’m no sidekick.” You hissed, venom lacing your words as you raised your hand and fired a blast towards him, which much to your dismay… he dodged. He flew back at you both, and you quickly jumped out of the way, watching as Peter rolled underneath him and shot a web towards him.

When he missed, Vulture flug himself towards Peter and used the metal claws on his suit to press him against the sand. You practically roared, as you lunged at him, sending both yourself and Vulture flying off into a piece of broken plane wing. You punched at his masked face repeatedly, screaming curses at him as he whacked you with his wing sending you flying back against the ground.

He took this as another chance and quickly grabbed Peter again in his claws, now lifting him up into the air. You watched in horror as Peter flung himself from his grasp and began plummeting.

“Watson, locate all of the weak points on Vultures suit.” You instructed as you flew towards Peter, scooping him up in your arms in mid-air.

“The turbines are failing, and the whole engine is about to fall apart on his back. If you hit those he will surely go down. Although do be careful. We don’t need anything else of Mr. Stark’s blowing up tonight.”

“Yeah yeah whatever.” You huffed and placed Peter on the ground, as he groaned and sat up. You watched carefully as Vulture walked over to where the opened boxes of mini-arc reactors and felt your blood boil. You flew up and wrapped your hand around the engines, using your thrusters to pull away from the direction he was going.

“Those… aren’t… for… sale!” You groaned, your voice straining as you continued to pull back. “Now Pete!” You yelled, turning your head and watching as Peter stood up and shot a web towards to box.

“No wait! It’s going to explode!” He yelled and you closed your eyes, breathing in heavily.

“Watson, armor engage.” You said as a light blue shield formed around your suit. “Aha! It worked!” You cried, out of pure joy. This was something new you decided to add in, as a small upgrade from your dads tech figuring it’d be helpful.

“Time to go home kids.” Vulture announced, as he cut away Peter’s web and kicked you off him. Flying backwards you huffed, landing against the ground.

Your eyes watched as Vulture began to fly off, a horrified expression displayed on your face as his suit malfunctioned and collapsed against the ground with a loud ‘boom’ and flames swirled in the air for a short moment.

“Oh god…” You whispered, pushing yourself up from the sand and racing along-side Peter towards the flames. “This is such a stupid idea!” You called towards Peter as he looked at you and shrugged.

“I know. But no one dies on my watch.”

“Our watch you idiot!” You yelled, skidding to a halt, as Peter jumped straight through the wall of flames. “For fucks sake…” You muttered, flying overhead and watching as he lifted up metal with ease and dragged Vultures body from underneath.

“Watson, check vitals.” You said, panicky as you landed beside Peter as he placed him down against some crates.

“Watson?”

“Sherlock reference. Get with the times Peter.” You teased, playfully punching his shoulder. He scoffed and shook his head as he webbed him up.

“He is very much alive, however he has a broken nose, second degree burns around his arms and neck, and-”

“Yeah yeah don’t care. Come on Pete, we better get out of here.” You groaned, as you moved your arm to wrap it around his shoulders. Pain shot through your arm, as well as your head. “I think I have a concussion…” You muttered, the suit’s helmet retracting as Peter chuckled and wrapped his arm around your waist.

“Probably. But hey that’s what heroes get.” He said with a shrug as you rested your head on his shoulder.

It was quiet for a few minutes, the silence more comforting than awkward but it was still there, lingering in the back of both your minds.

“I-I’m so sorry (Y/N). I didn’t mean for you to get all… caught up in this, I just…” He let out a large sigh as you both hobbled away from the beach and over to some place to hide for a bit. “I really… uhm, like you and I know you probably don’t feel the same and that’s okay? I think? I mean not for me I’d be crushed- Not! Not that I want you to feel bad or anything but-”

“Peter.”

“I mean it’d be hard if you didn’t like me back? I mean we have the same friends and we go to the same school. Hell I work for your dad I mean he’d probably kick me out of a job… not that it’s even a job I don’t even get paid, I should talk to him about that.”

“Peter!” You yelled, placing a hand over his mouth. His eyes widened and he nodded as you dropped your hand from his mouth and slid it over his cheek. “Kiss me.” You whispered, leaning in towards him. And he did not hesitate. Peter reached his hands up to your face and pressed his lips against yours.

The kiss was a bit sloppy at first, noses bumping, teeth bumping, and the occasional awkward position switch but within seconds you had both figured it out and your lips fit together like puzzle pieces. One of Peter’s hands slipped around your waist and pulled you closer towards him, as your hands slid around his neck and played with the ends of his curls at the back of his neck. You both pulled away, blushing furiously, and catching your breath. With a gentle chuckle he rested his forehead against yours and you let out a peaceful hum.

“God I’ve been wanting to do that since sixth grade…” He whispered, his eyes moving to look into yours. You giggled and a warm smile crossed your lips. “I’m sorry for asking Liz to homecoming by the way…” He muttered and pressed a short kiss to your nose. You rolled your eyes and pulled back from him.

“And just as I was forgetting that ever happened.” You let out a small ‘hmph’ and crossed your arms, as Peter shook his head and rested it between your collarbone and neck.

“Noooo.” He whined and pulled you flush against him. “Look we’ll make a deal. I won’t ever bring it up again if you don’t bring up, me lying to your dad. Sound good?”

“Sounds good.” You affirmed with a short nod of your head as you placed a short and sweet kiss to his lips. “Now come on Spider-Boy we have a very anxious Ned to talk to,” You glanced down at yourself and then Peter and chuckled slightly. “After we clean up a bit.” You said with a small chuckle before leaving the small shack and darting out of the guards line of sight.

“I go off the grid for two hours and you almost died!” Your father's voice echoed off the walls of the new compound as he stared down at you, face red, and knuckles white.

“Well I didn’t die. Besides Pete and I had it all figured out.”

“If you had it figured out you wouldn't have gone after him in the first place and left it to the FBI!”

“We both know the FBI wouldn’t be able to stop him Dad.” You deadpanned, lifting your legs up on the coffee table. “We had it covered. I have a suit now, and-”

“Speaking of the suit, I’m taking it.”

“No you’re not!” You yelled shooting up from the couch and moving closer to him. “I made that, all on my own! Y-You can’t just-”

“I can and I will. You don’t even know what I’m taking it for.” He said walking down the stairs to his lab, motioning for you to follow. A soft groan slipped past your lips as you stood up and hobbled down the stairs.

“I have taken the liberty of fixing it up for you, and adding some choice improvements.” He said, pulling up the holograms on the exo-skeleton of it, and tapping away. “F.R.I.D.A.Y pull up the new functions I added.” He said, sitting down in a chair and kicking his feet up on his desk. You walked over, standing beside him and scanned the screens.

“Of course boss… let’s see, Miss Stark will now have an extra set of power for thrusters. Added police scanners so you can see their radar. A special designed tracker for Spider-Man and Mr. Stark himself. You have a main comm with connection to the team, one for Peter, and one for the police if needed. The jets in the boots will be much larger, but look smaller for better flight techniques so they won’t be clunky, and a chest repulsor transmitter.”

“I also took the liberty of hooking up Watson to your spotify so now he can play whatever music you want.” He said tossing you a necklace with a mini-arc reactor pendant on it. A smile tugging at your lips you pulled him in for a bone crushing hug and he chuckled softly, bringing his arms around your neck.

“So you’re not mad?” You asked, looking up at him with a raised brow.

“Well yes, but I did worse when I was younger. But no missions yet. We need to start you with proper training first. You start tomorrow morning with Nat, Bucky, and Steve.” He said pulling up the schedule.

“Two hours?! Everyday a week?” You groaned and flopped down into his desk chair.

“Yes now go to your room, I need to give you some form of punishment.” You huffed and stood up, knocking the chair back with your legs, before walking up to the small flight of stairs.

“You do realize I still have my technology right?” You asked, turning to face him, your hands on your hips.

“Oh shut it, scram. I’ll see you in the morning. Love you kiddo.”

The next few days had gone by oddly fast. You were thrown into a new routine of school, training, more training, and sleep.

After your kiss with Peter he seemed… off? More awkward around you, but you guessed it was because you two hadn’t really had the chance to talk about what happened. Your father had you working on your own suit constantly. Giving you new additions, and suggestions every time you stepped foot into his lab. Even at the dinner table while you stuffed yourself full of pizza he’d bring up some new problem, or some type of weapon to add for your safety.

He tried putting a safety protocol on your suit, like he had Peter’s but since it was your suit, he could only get so far. The rest of the team was shocked to say the least when you started training. Sure they were supportive but they didn’t want to push you to hard. But when you insisted, they would kick your ass into next week until you got better.

“Dad! Pepper wants to know if you ordered the white lillies for the upcoming press conference.” You muttered, walking up to him as he dismissed one of his staff. A tablet lay in your arms, a check-list of what Pepper needed, and tabs with sketches of a new suit for yourself, and gadgets for the rest of the team.

You had finally been able to move up in your father's company to Peppers assistant, and helped him out in the lab. You were on ‘Inspector Gadget Duty’ as Tony liked to call it, creating loads of different things to help during missions, like Nat’s shock disks, and even faster arrows for Clint.

“Oh also Scott and Hope want to know if they need to bring their suits to the annual dinner.” You said with a small hum, as you waited for his answer. He turned towards you, clad in a black suit with dark grey stripes and his signature sunglasses.

“Yes I did, they’re in there now. And for the hundredth time, uh no they don’t. But look at you kiddo! All fancy, taking after your old man I see.” He said with a playful wink before pulling you into a side hug.

You were wearing a simple white dress that hugged your waist and legs, paired with a dark red blazer.

“More like taking after Pepper.” You teased nudging him slightly. “Anyways uh when Peter gets here for the little… initiation or whatever you want to call it I’ll be heading out with Nat and Steve after to talk with Fury about the new recruits they want to bring in. We’re going to evaluate them and test their skills in hand to hand combat, offensive techniques, and-”

“Woah woah woah slow down there roadrunner, relax. Take a minute to,” He took in a deep breath and let it out. “Breathe.”

“Always so dramatic.” You said with a small laugh before looking back down at the notes.

“Yeah yeah, well we’ve got a Spider to congratulate.”

“He hasn’t even accepted the suit yet.”

“Yeah well.” Tony shrugged and started walking backwards, towards the steps. “We’ll get there soon enough.” You rolled your eyes and walked behind him, down the large steps and chuckled seeing Peter watching as the quinjet flew off.

“Ya don’t see that everyday.” Happy said to Peter, stuffing his hands into his suit pockets.

“You do if you’re me.” You teased and walked up to them beside your father. You gave Happy a short fistbump and grinned up at him before turning to Peter.

“I like the get-up squirt, very professional.” Happy said nudging your arm sightly. “You don’t see that everyday either.”

“Oh ha ha.” You muttered rolling your eyes. “Watson, please deduct Happy’s pay this week.”

“Hey uh uh uh, no no you don’t.” He groaned and you chuckled before giving Peter a warm smile.

“Hey Pete.” You grinned and walked up to him giving him a short hug. He returned the gesture and as you pulled away his cheeks flushed red.

“H-Hey (Y/N). You look really good… I-I mean not that you normally don’t, you always look gorgeous but-” Tony cleared his throat and placed a firm hand on Peter’s shoulder. “Yeah I’ll shut up now…” He whispered, causing you to chuckle.

“Well I’m gonna steal the kids for a minute.” He said giving you a small peck on your forehead before turning to Happy.

“Seriously?” Happy spoke up, raising a brow.

“Yeah I gotta talk to the kids.”

“I’ll be close behind.”

“How about a loose follow? Boundaries are good.” Your dad said with a curt nod before walking ahead, motioning for Peter and yourself to follow. You chuckled and walked alongside Peter, brushing your hand against his as you walked.

“Sorry I took your suit. I mean you had it coming, turns out it was just the kind of tough love you needed right, to urge you on. Wouldn’t you agree?” Your dad said as he poked at Peter’s arm as he walked.

“Y-y- uh, yes?”

“Let’s just say it was.”

“Mr. Stark I-”

“Screwed the pooch hard.” You chuckled as your dad nudged your shoulder. “Both of you. But then you did the right thing, you took the dog to the free clinic, raised the hybrid puppies… alright not my best analogy .” He huffed, and the glass doors slid open. You beamed over at Peter, knowing what was about to happen.

“I was wrong about you. I think with a little more… mentoring you could be a real asset to the team.” He said patting his shoulder and walking around him, you rolled your eyes playfully and linked your arm through Peter’s.

“T-t-t-to to the team?”

“Yeah, anyways there's about 50 reporters behind that door, and when your ready…” Tony said tapping against his watch as the doors slid open and revealed his new suit. “Why don’t you try that on.” He said standing in front of it, “And then I can introduce the world to the newest official member of the Avengers, Spider-Man.”

Your mouth dropped as you let go of Peter’s arm and watched him approach the suit.

“Peter if you don’t say yes then I will.”

“(Y/N), sweetheart you’re already starting training.”

“Yeah but still Dad!” You cheered and jumped up and down slightly, walking up to Peter you smiled over at him as he tried his best to contain the excitement bubbling inside him.

“Well anyways, Happy or my daughter here will show you to your room… where's he between? He’s next to uh, Vision?” Your dad asked raising a brow, you turned towards him and nodded.

“Yeah, Vision isn’t big on doors… or walls. But he’s quiet, and makes a mean chicken parmesan… with Wanda's help.” You said with a small chuckle before turning back towards Peter.

“Thank you, Mr. Stark but I-I’m good.”

“You’re good?”

“Excuse me?!” You yelped, wide eyes looking up at Peter.

“I-I’d rather just stay… the Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man for a while… ya know? Somebodys gotta look after the little guy right?”

“You’re turning me down? You better think about this, look at that. I built that with (Y/N)’s help of course, to fit your needs.Last chance, yes or no.”

“No.” Peter said shaking his head slightly.

“Okay, uh Happy will take you home.”

“Thank you, Mr. Stark.”

“Very well, Mr. Parker.” He said shaking Peter’s hands as the doors slid shut you shook your head, running a hand through your hair.

“I’ll go tell Pepper…” You grumbled, pushing open the door and blinking rapidly, as the photographers started taking photos as you walked in. “Oh piss off.” You hissed and they immediately turned away from you.

Pushing through the small crowd you grabbed her hand and whispered what had happened to her. Her eyes grew wide as she gripped your wrist and dragged you out of the room.

“Where’s the kid? What the hell happened?” She asked, pulling you up beside her. You shrugged at your father as he turned around. “Did you guys screw this up? I told you (Y/N) should have been the one to ask him.” She said glancing towards you with an annoyed smile. You chuckled and nodded, silently in agreement with her.

“He told the kid to go wait in the car.”

“Are you kidding me?” Pepper hissed as she walked up to Tony. “I have a room full of people in there waiting for some big announcement what am I going to tell them?”

“Think of something, how about… uhm, Hap you still got that ring?” Your father asked raising a brow towards Happy. You audibly gasped and brought your hand to your mouth as Pepper looked over at you with a confused expression.

“Do I-I oh are you kidding? I’ve been carrying this thing around,” He muttered, digging into his pockets. “Since 2008.” He cheered, pulling it from his pockets and tossing it to your father.

“OH MY GOD Okay it’s happening, everybody stay calm, stay fucking calm.” You shrieked, bouncing in your shoes.

“Hey hey, don’t quote the office while I’m proposing.”

“Shut up and propose Dad!” You yelled and gripped the tablet in your hand.

“I can think of something better.” Pepper joked and leaned in for a kiss. You raised a brow and shrugged as you followed her back into the press conference.

“Pep, I gotta go! Bye!” You said, giving her and your father both small pecks on the cheek before racing out through the back door and up to the hangar for the jets.

A loud thud pulled you out of your reading, you chuckled and stood up from your bed, placing one of the new books Loki had given you on the bed and stretching.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y please open the curtains.” You said, watching as they slid open to reveal Peter, clad in his spidey suit, standing up from the ground of the balcony. You walked up to the glass doors, pulling them open and giving the boy in front of you a small smirk.

“Awe did the big mean glass squash the little spider?” You teased, faking a pout as you reached for his hand and pulled him into your dimly lit room. Peter scoffed and yanked you back, spinning you around so you were flush against his chest.

“Ha ha very funny.” He said with a roll of his eyes as he tugged off his mask. You carted your fingers through his messy hair and chuckled.

“I know, I’m such a jokester.” You hummed and placed a small peck to his cheek, before pulling free from his grasp. “Speaking of jokesters, my dad’s still peeved you declined his invitation.”

“Okay but I thought it was a test! How was I supposed to know it wasn’t?” Peter groaned and flopped down against your bed as he stared up at the ceiling. You shrugged and sat cross legged beside him.

“I dunno, maybe trust him?”

“I never said I didn’t.”

“You kinda did.”

“Ugh stop putting words into my mouth.” He mumbled, laying his forearm over his face. You rolled your eyes and picked up the book again.

“Men, so dramatic.” You mumbled rolling your eyes as you opened the book back up to the page you were on. “I don’t see why you can’t just talk to him about it. He doesn’t bite.”

“Easy for you to say, you’re his daughter.”

“Yeah but he’d kick my ass in a heartbeat if I ever did something worthy of it. And you politely declining his invitation because of a misunderstanding doesn’t call for that.” You mused, leaning back against your headboard, with a small thud.

“Okay fine then the rest of the team would.”

“Sam and Bucky maybe, but if I stopped them. They won’t.”

“But would you stop them?” He asked, now turning his body to the side, resting his chin hand as he stared up at you. You shrugged and looked up to meet his chocolate brown gaze.

“Depends.”

“On what?!” He cried and jumped up, now facing you completely, and kneeling in front of you. A small smirk curled at your lips as you cupped his cheek and leant forward.

“On if you let me do this.” You hummed and leaned forward, closing the gap between you, your lips meeting and moving in a gentle motion.

Peter reached one hand to go around your waist and the other to cup your cheek gently. Slowly, you slid your arms around his neck and began to play with a curls at the nape of his neck, tugging them softly. Peter let out a small groan, causing him to take control of the kiss and push you back against the covers, as he straddled your waist. You brought your knees up, around his body and let your tongue swipe across his bottom lip. Peter tasted like he always did, a gentle mix of mint, and cinnamon. Along with his strong smelling cologne. It sent you into overdrive as you arched your back, pushing your chest flush against his.

A knock on your door sent you shoving Peter off the bed with a loud thud. Taking deep breaths you brushed your mess of a hair back away from your face and lightly fanned yourself with your hand, to try and counteract the heat rising to your cheeks.

“Coming!” You called through the room, before peeking over the edge. “You good?” You whispered with a sheepish grin. Peter simply covered, what you assumed to be bright red cheeks and gave you a weak thumbs up. You smiled and pushed yourself off your bed before walking up to the door and opening it, squinting at the bright light from the hallway.

“Oh, hey Steve.” You said smiling at him, before Bucky appeared beside him with a slight wave. “Hey Buck… whats up?”

“We’re heading down to the gym and then going to grab some food later. Do you want to join us?” The super soldiers asked with eager smiles. You sighed and ran your fingers through your hair. “Uh, rain check? I’ve got a lot of uh homework to catch up on.” You said with an apologetic smile.

“Sure, tomorrow maybe?” Bucky asked, as you nodded bidding them goodbye before shutting your door. When you heard their footsteps fade down the hallway, you broke out into a fit of laughter and stumbled over to the bed as Peter stood up from the floor.

“Okay please never shove me off the bed again.” He muttered, groaning slightly as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“Sorry Pete, I promise.” You said placing a small kiss to his cheek. “Still on for movie night?” You asked raising a brow towards the TV. He nodded and wrapped his arms around your waist.

“With you? Always.”

So yeah, things weren’t… perfect, and you didn’t really know where your relationship with Peter stood, but you were both happy. And everyone at school seemed to know you were both off limits. I mean everyone already knew anyway that you were both in love with each other, but yet you still had yet to make things official, let alone actually say the words. But you were happy. Really happy and for now that’s all you needed.

[g0dlovesuglyy]

It wasn’t all bad

there are times, not too often, that I miss my dad and everytime I find myself missing him, i am always faced with the decision of whether or not I should reaching out to him. I think its been 7 years since we last spoke, maybe even longer. I can’t even remember why I stopped talking to him, that’s not to say I didn’t have a reason, there were just so many things he had done at that point that I can’t remember what finally made me say enough. 

It wasn’t all bad, growing up I loved my dad. We were pretty close when I was younger, we watched the same movies and had the same sense of humor and listened to the same music. He gave me advise on school and boys and made me feel like he’d always protect me and be there for me. Not only as a child, but as a girl you should be able to rely on your dad. Your dad is supposed to be the one man you can count on, the one man you can trust 100%. As I got older, I saw more and more of the man he actually was and not the man I wished he’d be. 

Growing up I always heard stories of my dad and how he wasn’t a good man. My family from my mom’s side was always very vocal about what a piece of shit they thought he was. I heard stories about how he cheated on my mom time and time again, about how he was lazy and didn’t like to work to support his family, you name it I fucking heard it. I’m super pissed about it now, I mean thats not what a child should hear about their parent. It’s unacceptable and just by that you get an idea of how selfish my mom could be. She wanted me to see who he really was, despite what that might do to relationship. I still haven’t forgiven her for showing me that side of him. 

My dad was cool, he loved anime and watching Dragon Ball Z and Transformers and all kinds of other cartoons. We would share music with eachother, i would show him new music I had heard at school and he would show me some weird goofy song from the 80s. It was almost a game about who could make who laugh or who could impress who with their findings. We watched Will Farrel movies together and talked about tattoos and how we’d eventually get matching ones. My dad was cool... he understood me in a way my mom never did. 

Like i said, I’ve always heard about the type of man my dad was, but as a kid you never want to believe it. I had never seen my dad be a bad man so even though I heard stories, to me thats all they were. It was nothing that was confirmed for me. There were times when he would do something kind of shady with a lady from work or from our apartment complex, but there was always an explination or excuse and I always believed him. He wouldn’t lie to me...right? 

When my family moved to LA, i started to see a side of my dad I never thought existed. We were living in a house that was WAY out of our price range and we were struggling...bad! There were so many things he could be doing, like getting a second job or hustling a little bit harder on the side, something or anything to bring in extra income so we could afford food or bills or new clothes for school, but he never seemed phased by our situation. Yeah, things were really fucking tight but whatever, we would get through it, it was fine!... I got a job and started helping out, I bought a car, but i didn’t have a license so I couldn’t drive it, but whatever my dad or mom could use it. I started doing things that i shouldn’t have had to do and that made me resent him. I started talking back, I started pushing him to do more, but more never came. My mom started working at the same factory he was working at and I would go to their work place and hang out for a while because they had street vendors show up and sell fruit or tacos or whatever. During one of these visits a woman approached my mom and me and told us that my dad was fucking around on my mom with some girl there at the factory. This went on for like a week, i would be with my mom at her job before her shift started and some woman would come up and start talking about my piece of shit dad. I can’t even imagine how embarrassing that must have been for my mom, not only to be at work and have these rumors going around, but to have these rumors brought to you every fucking day in front of your kid?! some poeple have no fucking respect.  My resentment grew, I was pissed off all the time, but i still didn’t want to believe what i heard. For all i knew these were just rumors, i mean, i hadn’t seen anything, nothing was confirmed. 

my mom befrended a woman at work who seemed to have it rough. She was a single mother and “kept finding love in all the wrong places,” I don’t want to slut shame, but seeing as how this story ends with her running around with my father i’m going to call it like it is. She was fast and loose, she fucked around with several guys at work and then wondered why they never wanted anything serious wth her. I was never a fan of hers, but she was my moms friend so whatever. I’m not sure how my mom heard that her friend and my dad were talking, maybe she hadn’t heard at all and it was all intuition, i don’t know but my mom and i started spying on my dad. We would wait for him to fall asleep and then we’d go through his phone to see any phone calls or text messages, but we never found anything. This of course just proved that it was all rumors right? i mean we never found anything! One day, my dad told my mom her friend had called him, supposedly it was her moms birthday and she wanted to get her mom flowers but she didn’t want to leave her mom alone so she asked if my dad could do her a solid and buy some flowers and drop them off. She said he would pay him for this so he brought it up to my mom and said he was going to be going over that evening to drop off the flowers. IMMEDIATELY my mom was pissed and she gave me a look. I believed in him though, he was just going to drop off some flowers, no big deal, I said I would go with him, I wanted to practice driving anyway, two birds one stone. We had friends visiting from Mexico at that time and one of them said they would come too. So we all went and took my dad to drop off the flowers, she came out to pick them up and i watched her as she took the bouquet and talked to my dad for a few minutes. She held the bouquet in front of her face so I couldn’t make out what she was saying, but she didn’t give him money, I saw that much. After my dad got in the car i asked about the money she was supposed to give him for the flowers and he said that she was going to pay him later. Even now I wonder if I had really been stupid enough and naive enough to literally drop off flowers to my dads lover. 

[wild-goosechase]

Things I Could Tell Myself after Senior High School Graduation

“I would be missing you guys, and all the memories we shared.” “Best school year ever!, “Can’t wait for our reunion guys!”.

I think, I’ll be the only one in our class who can’t dare telling these words to my classmates, having such  speech drama expressing a mixed feeling of happiness, sadness, and longing when recalling a person, place, or event from the past. I could be just a wallflower that day looking to everyone exchanging hugs and going through drama but me, pro-solitude (not anti-social) , so nothing be happening to me.

But don’t  get me wrong about this. I’m not stuck-up, I’m just an honest person who can’t stand to pretend someone I am actually not so that the odds would be in my favour. So don’t hesitate talking to me that day to congratulate and hug me, I could understand.

So maybe after graduation I could be like, “You really survive dealing with people who had wrongfully misunderstood you huh. People who judged the way you walk awkwardly, the way you talk leaving mess, the way you think weirdly and the way you joke with your dry humor then nobody laughed and you be like “My sarcasm really is advance so they think I’m stupid, LOL”. Those people who also misunderstood me for spending time alone reading books and avoiding small talk. Also, putting earphones  so people won’t talk to me but still they do. So they thought I’m avoiding them. Well, it’s half-truth but it’s nothing personal. They wouldn’t  just understand my need to be alone and how I easily get drained when peopled-out. MY SOUL AND MIND ARE STARVING FOR DEEP, RICH, AUTHENTIC, STIMULATING, INTELLECTUAL, SPIRITUAL CONVERSATION. YOU JUST HAVE TO SPARK MY CURIOSITY, MAN!

However, I secretly and honestly enjoyed in their company, not literally. I meant, I enjoy observing different personalities in my head with the FAMOUS SANGUINE who  were telling stories while the teacher was talking, with PERFECT MELANCHOLIES who were willing to listen to people’s problems, analyze them and come up with viable solutions, with POWERFUL CHOLERIC who are born-leaders and naturally saw the practical answers in the problems in our class, and  with the PEACEFUL PHLEGMATIC who like friends but are happy alone and love watching people pass by.

And for my teachers whom I have loved dearly in my heart  though they cannot love  me back or maybe they already forgot me since I’m easily to be forgotten or maybe they didn’t notice me since I’m not reciting but I solemnly swear Ma’am and Sir that I was listening, sometimes. I was secretly studying your soul and not your lessons. I have realized that there are interestingly weird teachers I really love when talking. I secretly stealing some of your weirdness and humors and I know it’s not illegal. You’re humans with a good heart and really devoted in your work who desire us to be a better person. And those teachers who taught me SUBJECT VERB AGREEMENT, consequently I’m now so conscious in writing on my blog and even in drafts. I’m not that really good, my apologies Teachers if I cannot apply everything you said. I just already have my own Subject Verb Agreement and they are correct for me. LOL. UCSP and OrCom, and maybe SocSci oh, I cannot thank y’all enough. I don’t just listen to your words—I watch your face. I stare into your eyes. I checked out your body language. I peep your tone. I make note of your use of words. I hear what you didn’t say. I interpret your silences. MOST IMPORTANTLY, I TRUST MY INTUITION. But of course, there are teachers whom I cannot really love and I secretly bashing them in my head, not on social media. Those teachers who are fond of generalizing students and always be like “KABATAAN NOWADAYS CHUCHU”. Yes they’re absolutely right in their target. Nevertheless, it’s annoying sometimes and I feel like doing “OBLIVIATE” spell to them. Also, I cannot lie at this point that some of the rules suck. It is suffocating  and I know it’s true for everybody. I always hear students everywhere in the school trash-talking “YOU KNOW WHO” (No, it’s not Lord Voldemort). I meant, it’s too idealistic, duh you know what I mean. They’re just too much and TOO MUCH OF SOMETHING IS ALWAYS BAD, you know. I think I cannot embrace the culture here. I could really ask myself how I survived with that. Maybe they should consider to apply some psychology chuchu in their rules sometimes.

Perhaps, I could also tell myself how brilliant am I in making alibi when I make plans earlier to socialize in the week but when the day comes I’m like, “I LOVE CANCELLED PLANS”. Oh how I wish that “my parents said no” was still a viable excuse to get out of social events. And you know you’re an introvert when one thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say ”MY MOM SAID NO”.

How I’m always annoyed and pissed off when people ask, “Why are you shy?” and I be like “I’m not! I don’t have anything to say to you!” I’m so tired of society thinking that the qualities of an extrovert is what should be desired or considered the norm. I’m tired of people questioning why I don’t like crowds, why I don’t like small talk, why I never entertain, why I only reserve one activity because I’m always exhausted? Their questions imply that I’m not normal! Why society has been conditioned to look down upon introverted personality traits!

My life in the Canteen when someone was still standing in front of the item I need and I have to pretend to look for something else until they move. Awkward, right?

Me everytime I go out of the room and meeting people, I need to avoid eye contact because it feels so awkward. And I be like, this really the reason I should stop loitering outside the classroom.

 I always believe that unspoken words are genuine so yea it’s genuine. I don’t have to be loud to be heard. Nobody would care about my feelings and thoughts anyways.

P.S I miss those times when I take writing to a level of insanity.

…to be continued..

12/01/16