#everything is like hmm salmon pants

[unproduciblesmackdown]

throwing together a tayston moodboard to cope

[sooibian]

The Daisy Oracle

Pairing: Baekhyun x fem!Reader

Genre / Themes: Fluff, soft angst, a hint of spice, established relationship

Description: In the days leading up to Baekhyun’s enlistment, you find yourself dissecting every word of his and he’s been saying...all the wrong things.

A/N: To accommodate this anon request, the story does not take the “BBH public service worker” route. Dear anon who requested this, i sincerely hope this fic gives you the comfort that you seek. even though i tried to publish this as soon as i could, i hope it doesn’t feel rushed! :)

Word count: ~ 2k

You always had a hard time keeping up with Byun Baekhyun.

On a typical Thursday evening, when you, everyone you knew, and their families, zombified by the obstinate demands of the week, trudged towards the promise of an invigorating weekend, Baekhyun looked and acted like one of those puppies in one of those picture perfect 'family is everything' movies. Always eager. Always happy.

That is not to say that the weight of living eluded him. He'd have his moments where everything seemed rather dull and tedious but Baekhyun always bounced back quicker than most.

In the month leading up to his enlistment, when you'd hoped for your own sake and his, that he'd mellow under the soul crushing burden of an impending temporary separation, his puppy quotient shot through the roof instead. But you didn't have the heart to utter a single word that bore the abominable might to dull his sparkle.

Instead, you revved up your own. Or at least...tried.

He booped your nose and said to you over dinner one evening, "You don't have to pretend, you know?" causing you to flip the switch on him, "What would you rather have me do? Cry?"

Truth be told, you were mad!

Mad at the world. Mad at the laws of conscription, most of all. How could they take this...this...stupidly adorable, angelic, happiness shaped man with a divine voice, endearingly droopy eyes, jelly lips, plump cheeks, and the most delectable nose away from you for such an agonizingly long stretch of time?

"It would be nice," he quipped, looking into the distance as if lost in a deep thought, the faintly heavy texture of his tone nudging you out of your rueful reverie.

Head tilted to the side, you blinked at him, mouthing a confused, "What?"

"Hello! Earth to --! I said, If you cried a little...every now and then….it would make me feel - it would make you feel - "

These callous utterances of his would not only exasperate you endlessly but also shove you back into the despairing hurricane of emotions you’d been trying to quash for his sake and yours.

So you glowered at him in response and he quietly went back to his soup, leaving you to your musings.

Blinkering your attention to the sumptuous spread before you, you wondered why you struggled to push something that appetizing down your throat. Everything tasted either a little too bland, or a little too spicy, a little...unusual and not quite right. Which was strange considering the only reason you loved this restaurant was because they hadn’t changed their menu nor their recipes in decades.

You craved the comfort of the known especially on days like these when the world felt bizarre - inside and out.

“This fillet is too dry,” you whined, washing down your last bite of the salmon with cider.

Brows furrowed, Baekhyun drew his “No ~” out in a question.

“And overly seasoned,” you winced, persistent in your complaining while pushing your food around.

“Here, try the Gyeran Mari,” said Baekhyun, lovingly placing two neat rolls of your favourite banchan into your rice bowl.

Eyes locked with his, a smile teasing the corners of your mouth, you quipped nonchalantly, "You know what? I cannot cry even if I wanted to."

"Really? Why's that?" He inquired with a quirked brow, cheeks puffed with silken tofu.

Waving your phone at him, you replied, "All these airpod head comments online - "

"Yah yah yah!!!" Breaking into a fit of roaring laughter, he lunged at you and pinned you to the floor. Cupping your face in his hands, he kissed every inch of the exposed skin of your face and neck, making your giggles fizzle into a soft moan the moment his lips met yours.

.

.

.

"Leave the laundry to me. Go get your things in order for next week," you said to a dumbstruck Baekhyun as he felt the jute laundry basket that you'd picked out together over two years ago, swiftly changing hands from his to yours.

When you heard neither a word tumble out of his mouth, nor the sound of his feet padding down the hallway, you stopped dead in your tracks, turned around to face him and spluttered a mortified, "What?"

"No, no, it’s nothing," he mumbled, lips forming a toothsome pout.

Resting the laundry basket against your hip, you groused, "Just say it."

Soft baby pink lips stretched into a wide, gremlin-like grin, he teased, "If I knew enlistment would make your lazy ass pick up some of my chores, I would've enlisted a lot earlier!"

Feigning annoyance, you rolled your eyes in response and turned on your heel to rush to the washer dryer.

In a week’s worth pile of unwashed clothes, stood out a beige t-shirt that he’d worn for not more than an hour last week. It was relatively clean and needed a wash simply because he had no use for it in the following months. You buried your face in the velvety smooth fabric of the oversized garment, yielding to Baekhyun’s lingering saccharine yet woody scent. The dam of your pent up emotions broke loose at the last four words that had recklessly rolled off his tongue. You bit down on your lower lip to suppress it's quiver but the tears in your eyes gave it all away when you turned around to find him standing by the door.

You accepted his unspoken apology with an understanding nod as he nestled you up to his familiar, comforting warmth. And while he gently cradled you in his strong and steady arms, you poured your heart out into the crook of his neck.

.

.

.

Dressed in cozy black and grey sweats, Baekhyun stood before you, lips pursed, eyes wide, anxiously wringing his hands while swaying from side to side.

"So?" His brows shot up in anticipation of your reaction while you chewed on the insides of your cheeks to keep yourself from breaking into an insensitive fit of laughter.

Crossing your arms over your chest, you managed a feeble, "Looks alright,", feigning your best businesslike demeanour.

A confused Baekhyun’s gaze flew up to his forehead as he gingerly ran a hand over his head. Features contorted in a frown, he remarked, "Prickly."

Then you could hold it in no more.

Instantly convulsed with laughter, you crashed into bed while Baekhyun simply stood there, hands on hips, patiently waiting for you to -

“Let it all out!” He exclaimed loudly while you continued your antics, fully cognizant that the discomfiture in his tone was merely for effect. Baekhyun continued, “I don’t get what’s so funny.”

You threw your hands up and apologized, panting, “Okay, okay...I’m done,” only to break into another fit of giggles immediately after.

.

.

.

The room was bathed in a subtle gold haze from the bedside lamp as you lay resting your head on Baekhyun's chest, the rhythm of his heart calming the storm within yours. He brought your hand up to his rosebud mouth and trailed gentle kisses along the tips of your fingers before lacing them with his.

"It's not that bad...it's...it's kinda cute, actually. Makes your ears stick out," you whispered against his taut and smooth skin.

"I don't know, I feel a little...different. I've never been bald," he uttered the last word hesitantly as if it were some sort of a deathly curse.

"Being born with hair and all - ,” you remarked casually, cuddling even closer and Baekhyun instinctively strengthened his grip on you.  

The looming presence of the words left unsaid magnified by the second and you prayed a futile prayer... wishing fervently for the time to stop.

“I wonder what our kids will look like. Do you think they’ll be born with hair on their wee little heads and have huge ears like I do?” asked Baekhyun before you could lapse into another silent reverie.

Your heart threatened to leap out of your chest at the incessant carelessness on his part and you only managed a dispirited “I...don’t know" in response.

“Come on! Humour me for a second -”

“Alright," you said with a deep sigh, deciding to indulge him but not without first bracing your heart against these beguiling castles in the air, "hmm.. I...I don't know but I want them to have your eyes."

"No!” Baekhyun protested, “I want them to have your eyes!"

"We're not having this argument again..not today." You tried to subtly release yourself from his firm grasp to fill your lungs with the air he’d snatched with promises so enticing that they made you tremble with fear to even wish for their realization but the more you tried to pull away, he drew you even closer....your darling quicksand.

He laughed, blatantly ignoring the embarrassment flashing across your features having been caught off guard by this unnecessary pop quiz. Eyes welling up with tears, you wondered whether this turmoil was some wicked sorcery of your own heart...or did Baekhyun, in fact, not care at all.

"But don't you think this house is a biiiit too cozy for a big family?"

"We won't have to worry about any of that for a while I believe," you muttered before lambasting him, "Okay Byun Baekhyun that's enough! Stop acting like you won't come visit every few weeks! And- and stop looking at me like that!"

Your expression softened the moment his eyes locked with yours.

Baekhyun sat up with a start. Brows furrowed in confusion, he guffawed, "I'm just wondering how someone this intelligent can be so thick in the head sometimes!"

Immediately sitting up to face him, you nearly squealed, "What do you mean?”

Shaking his head, he let out a deep exhale. Mumbling incoherently, he drew a key from underneath his pillow and lightly flicked your forehead with it. Chuckling at the very apparent bewilderment on your face, he grabbed your wrist and thrust the key into your hand.

Puzzled, you merely blinked at him, unable to form words.

"I bought the place that you liked,” he stated matter-of-factly but an unmistakable spark of excitement danced in his eyes.

“No, I don’t get it.”

“All that house hunting wasn't for Baekbeom." Baekhyun used air-quotes when he said house hunting and gave you a sly smile. Despite the telltale exhilaration in his tone...you were still pretty confused. Baekhyun and you had spent almost all of your weekends this year property hunting with his brother and sister-in-law. They’d said they were looking for a bigger place since the Byun family was to “expand”.

“But - I thought they were talking about themselves! I-”

“You what?”

“I can’t believe I fell for -”

“You walked right into it, Ma’am!”

“But you all made it sound so convincing!”

He coolly quipped, “A quality I would like all four of our future children to possess.”

Baekhyun’s grand gesture knocked the wind out of your lungs and you were suddenly flat on your back. Lying down next to you, he took your hand in his and sneakily slipped a ring onto your finger. A silent tear rolled down your cheek as all of the emotions that had been simmering inside you clawed at your throat rendering you speechless and breathless. Despite that, you managed the courage to meet his eyes only to find them brimming with tears. With his hand on your cheek, Baekhyun closed the distance between you and whispered, "I love you," against your lips before pulling you in for a deep kiss.

"I love you, too," you responded, nestling into his cozy frame.

"Yah! Don't get all emotional with me!" Baekhyun teased while gently stroking your hair. Voice down to a whisper, he continued, "I'm just getting everything in order...like you’d asked me to," before placing a chaste kiss on the top of your head.

You always had a hard time keeping up with Byun Baekhyun.

[nakachuchu]

Love Language | Itadori Yuuji

SYNOPSIS: You like paying for things.

READER: female

WORDS: 1563

WRITTEN: 03/09/2021

"I never went to your middle school!" Yuuji shouted as he ran across the rooftops of Jujutsu Tech.

"Brother!" Todo shouted.

Yuuji grabbed the gutter and flipped into an open window, glancing up at Todo's approaching figure before slamming into something.

"Oof—"

The air was knocked from your chest and your back slammed against the floor. Yuuji held himself up by his hands, which were on both sides of your head.

"Senpai!" he exclaimed.

You chuckled. "You're in a rush."

"Sorry!"

He quickly got off you and got on his knees, placing his head against the floor in a bow. You laughed and got up from the floor, brushing the dust off your skirt.

"Something wrong?" you asked.

"Ah—"

"Brother!"

"Gah—"

Yuuji quickly got up as Todo flipped into the room, landing on his feet in front of you.

"Hey, Todo," you greeted.

Todo's previous rampant behavior died down as he saw you. He stood up straight and cleared his throat.

"Y/N, you're as beautiful as ever."

You snorted. "Thank you. Why are you chasing my kouhai?"

Yuuji slowly scooted toward you and hid behind you, even though he was much taller than you.

"He's my brother," said Todo.

"Are you two playing tag?" you asked.

"Precisely!" he exclaimed.

"Can I play?" you asked.

"Of course," said Todo.

"I'm assuming you're 'it,' so that means Yuuji and I are the ones who have to run, right? So—"

You grabbed Yuuji's hand and ran toward the door, flinging it open before running down the hallway.

You laughed out loud as you dragged Yuuji around campus in hopes of evading Todo. Yuuji seemed to be enjoying himself as well, laughing along with you and even occasionally picking you up bridal style to hop over an obstacle.

"I think," you panted, "we're safe."

He nodded and sat down on the ground, leaning against a tree. You sat next to him and let out a breath.

"So, how did you end up being Todo's brother?" you asked.

"I don't... It was in the moment, I swear."

You laughed. "A lot of things are in the moment for you, huh? I mean, that's how you became Sukuna's vessel."

He scratched his cheek awkwardly. "I guess it's a bad habit."

"Don't apologize. It's just who you are," you said as you took out your phone. "Oh. Gojo's calling us over. Come on, Yuuji."

You stood up and held your hand out to him. He grabbed it and let you help him onto his feet. He expected you to let go, so he was pleasantly surprised when you started walking, holding his hand and swinging your arm around.

The two of you rendezvoused with the other students and Gojo to pick the day two activity. Baseball was picked and you were surprised since you only ever participated in one versus one battles in the exchange event.

Yuuji was surprised as well since this was his first year at Jujutsu Tech, but he was mainly surprised at how good you looked in a baseball uniform.

No wonder Todo was interested in you. The pants did wonders for your ass. Yuuji swore he could see it bouncing as you ran. His eyes bulged a bit when you leaned down and slid, foot touching the home plate as your ass smacked against the dirt.

He wasn't even surprised that Todo immediately got up when you walked over to check on him after Maki hit him in the face.

You took your cap off and fanned yourself. Sweat dripped down your neck as your ponytail came loose, strands sticking to the base of your neck.

Yuuji couldn't help but stare.

"At least we won this year," you muttered. "I got my ass handed to me last year because of Noritoshi."

"You did great last year," Maki reassured.

"Salmon."

"What they said," said Panda.

You laughed. "Thanks. I'll see you guys later. I need a shower."

You placed your cap on top of Yuuji's head, pulling it down before walking away. He raised his head and readjusted the cap as he stared at your back.

"Hmm. Do you like Y/N?" Panda asked. "No chance. She's too pretty."

"Agreed," said Nobara.

"I second that," said Maki.

"Salmon."

"You guys are horrible," Yuuji retorted.

You weren't any different from the other students at Jujutsu Tech. You could use cursed energy, so you enrolled. You wore the same uniform as everyone else and participated in the same things as them.

But yes, he was interested in you. You fit his type, for one, but you were easily outgoing and not afraid to speak out.

He had only known you since the exchange event started, but you left an impression on him.

The next day, you texted Yuuji and asked him to go out with you. That was all you said, and he wasn't sure if you meant on a date or go out, as in leave campus.

"Hey, thanks for coming," you said as you held out your hand.

He looked around before slowly placing his hand in your hand. You smiled and turned around to begin walking.

He noticed you liked to take charge, but he didn't mind—especially when he didn't know what your plans for today were.

"Senpai, where are we going?" he asked.

You glanced over your shoulder. "You can just call me by my first name. We're going out, remember?"

"But what are we doing?"

"Getting lunch. Aren't you hungry?" you asked.

"I didn't bring my wallet."

"That's okay," you reassured. "I'm rich."

Throughout the day, you paid for everything. It was supposed to be a simple lunch, but it turned into a small shopping spree. You bought him some new clothes and the two of you ate a lot. Yuuji seemed to have a black hole as a stomach, but you didn't mind.

Once you were finished, the two of you walked back to Jujutsu Tech, hand in hand.

"I'll see you later, Yuuji," you said. "Take care not to die, all right?"

He nodded. "Thanks, Y/N."

You smiled and waved goodbye as you walked away. He stared after you for a while before turning around. He was carrying loads of shopping bags, which were all his.

"Where have you been, idiot?" Nobara asked, smacking Yuuji on the head.

He pouted. "Y/N took me out. I don't know why."

"Y/N does that," said Megumi. "She likes to spoil other people. She did that with me when I first came to Jujutsu Tech. She went out with Nobara when you were supposedly dead, too."

Nobara sighed wistfully. "She bought me a lot of brand names. I'd marry her if she was into girls."

Yuuji and Megumi blinked. "Wait—"

"Come on, let's go already!" Nobara shouted, already walking away from them.

Since then, you would always take Yuuji out. The others said you'd always pay for their things when they went out together in groups, but you never invited them out alone to go out more than once.

Yuuji was a special case and he was confused as to why. He found himself lying awake in the middle of the night, thinking about you.

Whenever it was really late and his thoughts got the best of him, he'd find his briefs pulled down to his knees while he fisted his cock, imagining your hand around it.

He was completely whipped for you, and you didn't even know it.

"I'm going to do it," said Yuuji, hyping himself up.

"You're really going to ask her out?" asked Nobara. "Usually I'd make fun of you, but it actually seems like Y/N likes you too. The world must be ending."

"You just made fun of him," said Megumi.

"There she is!" Yuuji exclaimed, leavings his friends and jogging over to you. "Hi, Y/N."

You smiled. "Hi, Yuuji. Where are we going today?"

He stuck out his hand. "Everywhere."

You placed your hand into his and he pulled you forward. Now, you were the one following Yuuji as he took you out for lunch, dessert, and a bit of shopping.

He paid for everything as well, always beating you to the punch. You stopped by a cellphone accessory stand and the two of you picked out matching keychains.

The two of you created chaos everywhere you went. Yuuji dropped every food item he was eating and would choke on his food when you made him laugh too much.

"I had a lot of time today," you said. "You didn't have to pay for everything."

"I wanted to," he said. "Listen, Y/N."

"Hmm?"

He squeezed your hand and stopped walking, grabbing both of your hands to hold them in his.

You looked up at him curiously.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" he asked.

You smiled. "Yeah!"

"Really?"

"Yeah, I was wondering how long it would take for you to ask me out. I like you too," you said.

"Really?"

Yuuji couldn't believe you liked him too. It was really bad timing, but all he could think about was dating you and what the two of you could get up to.

You glanced down. "You okay, Yuuji?"

He quickly released your hands and turned around. "Um—Yes. I'm okay. I—What should we do now?"

You laughed and wrapped your hands around his arm, pressing it to your chest. "Let's hang out in your room."

[a-solitary-marshmallow]

Do No Harm Take No Shit Chapter 4: You, Me Some Mew-vies

Take two. He’d failed after school, but there was nothing stopping him from asking out Marinette that evening.

Adrien had planned it out – how he would introduce the topic, where they would go, how they would get there. He’d kept track of some of her favourite things and planned to incorporate them on the way. Only the best for Marinette – their first date had to be unforgettable.

He’d spent half an hour in front of the mirror, psyching himself up. He’d asked Marinette out before as Chat Noir – this was no different. So why did glancing at his phone send butterflies through his stomach?

Adrien shook his head and strode over to his bed, picking up his phone from the covers. Marinette’s contact was pink with a smily face after her name – that wasn’t quite right. It needed a heart, at least. Adrien quickly edited it to read ‘Love of my Life’ with three heart emojis after it. Keeping it cool, obviously.

Adrien clicked call.

He turned to face the darkening Paris skyline through his window as the phone rung once, twice, thrice. On the fifth ring there was a click, a rustle, and then Marinette’s clear voice rang through like a bell.

 “Adrien! Hi. I wasn’t expecting a call from you, is everything okay?”

 “Everything’s fine.” Adrien hurried to assure her. “It’s just, there was something I was going to ask you after school today that I forgot to do.”

 “Hmm?” Another shift, as if Marinette was currently sifting through fabrics at her work table? His lady was always working, never still, even with a broken arm and masses of homework to catch up on. God he loved her. “Sure.”

 “So.” Come on, Agreste.

 “So.” Marinette echoed.

 “There’s this movie coming out in a few days, and I was thinking… um, well, as well as that…” His plan was crumbling! “Okay basically I was wondering if you’d want to go on a date with me?”

 Marinette squeaked, and then there was clatter and a rustle. Adrien held his breath as the rustling continued. She grabbed the phone and put it up to her ear again. “A-A date?”

 ‘I made a mistake. This was too soon. Maybe she doesn’t like me anymore now she knows I’m Chat Noir. Maybe it was just a crush and she doesn’t want anything serious. Maybe-‘

 “I would love to!” Marinette blurted out. “I – yes, I’d love to go out with you, Adrien.”

His face burned. He turned away from a snickering Plagg, trying to calm the rapid beating of his heart. “Really?”

“Of course.” Marinette giggled. The sound of it was like bells. Adrien’s smile stretched so wide that it hurt.

“Okay! Um, can I pick you up on Saturday? You don’t have anything on then, do you?”

“No, I’m free then.” Adrien could hear the grin in Marinette’s voice. “What time?”

“Is nine in the morning okay?”

“Definitely.”

“Great.” Adrien breathed. “So, it’s a date?”

“Yeah. It is.” More rustling. “Oh, Adrien? Can we… keep this a secret? Just for a bit. I mean, Alya’s always kinda gotten into my business – I love her, of course, but she can go a little overboard sometimes, and I want to figure this out with just us. Does that make sense?” She groaned at her own clumsy wording.

“Definitely!” Adrien blurted. “Yeah, we can keep it a secret for a bit.”

“Maybe just until next Monday? After our date.”

Hearing her say the word ‘date’ made Adrien’s heart sing. He nodded, before realizing she couldn’t see him. “That sounds like a good idea.” And he couldn’t help adding, “Though it’ll be hard not to sweep you off your feet during school, this cat will try his best.”

Marinette laughed. “He’d better! Alya already interrogated me about when you picked me up at the hospital.”

“Picked you up, huh? So you admit my pickup lines work?”

“Ugh, Adrien!” Marinette snorted.

He grinned and teased, “You know you love my jokes.”

“They’re so bad.”

“That why you love them, Bugaboo.”

“I hate that you’re right.” She groaned good-naturedly. On the other end of the line Adrien heard a faint call. “Oh, my parents want me down. Are you driving me into school tomorrow? You know, I’m the hero of Paris, I’m capable of walking.”

“Now what kind of prince would I be if I let my princess walk?”

“Pfft.” Marinette snorted. “Ugh, worst one yet. I’ll see you then.”

“Okay then! I’ll – I’ll see you tomorrow, Marinette.”

“Goodnight, Chaton.”

A click, and the call ended. Adrien pressed his forehead to his window to cool the burning in his face. He was going on a date. With Marinette Dupain-Cheng. He was the luckiest cat alive. Now all he had to do was make sure it went well. How could the plan fail when it was so well thought through?

   “Plagg! I didn’t think this through!”

“You’re telling me.” Plagg yawned from Adrien’s pillow, while Adrien paced rapidly from window to window, pausing every so often to glance at his watch and then pacing a little bit faster. Saturday morning, and he hadn’t thought about this yet? Where had the time gone?

“What am I supposed to wear? She’s a fashion designer, Plagg. I can’t look like an idiot in front of her.”

“It’s not like you wear a skintight leather cat suit most days.”

“That’s different and you know it!”

Plagg groaned. “You know your father’s a famous fashion designer, right? Why don’t you just go ask him?”

“He already gave permission for me to be out today, I don’t need to jinx that. And besides, that’s him! I want to choose what I wear today, and it has to be perfect.”

At Plagg’s insistent whining Adrien finally picked out an outfit – a salmon shirt under a light grey jacket, and dress pants. You couldn’t go too wrong with that, right? Right???

Somehow he made it into the limousine in one piece, flowers and all. Adrien hadn’t really had anyone to go to for advice, so he’d resorted to Google for answers and ended up on a page about flower meanings. Blue roses for love at first sight, red roses for passion, orange tulips for happiness, and pink carnations simply because they reminded him of her. It looked kind of messy and Plagg had laughed, but hopefully Marinette would like them?

The Gorilla pulled up to the Dupain-Cheng bakery at nine on the dot. Adrien hurriedly straightened his jacket and hurried out to knock on the door, bouquet in hand.

“Kid, chill out.” Plagg whispered from his pocket. Adrien vibrated with nerves. Ugh, he was taking this too far wasn’t he? The flowers were too much. He’d almost made up his mind to toss them away when there was a click and the door swung open.

Tom Dupain towered over him with a brilliant smile. Adrien stood caught in its beam. Well, now he knew where Marinette got her room-lighting grin from.

“Adrien! So nice to see you. Marinette’s just getting ready, she’ll be out in a minute. Are those flowers? Oh, Sabine, come and see what the Agreste boy got our Marinette!”

Adrien felt his face flush as Mrs. Cheng poked her head out and ‘awwww’ed.

“So, what time do you expect to be back?” Tom asked cheerfully.

“Er, we were going to have lunch, so three?”

Marinette appeared around her father with rolling eyes and a cute white blouse, with black patterns to match the signatures on her cast. Her pink skirt fluttered around her legs as she stepped out onto the street.

“Papa, I already told you when I’ll be back.”

“I was just checking!” The giant man defended. Marinette turned her gaze to Adrien and froze, freckled cheeks darkening in a blush. Adrien gulped and mustered all his Chat Noir suaveness (it may have actually been dorkiness but he didn’t care right now) to bow and hold out the bouquet with a cheeky smile.

“For Milady.”

Tom and Sabine cooed. Marinette hesitantly took the flowers. Electricity zinged through Adrien’s arm when their hands touched. Marinette coughed and squeaked out, “You look really good Adrien.”

“I was just about to say the same thing.”

The two teens may have stood there all day, blushing, if Tom hadn’t plucked the flowers from Marinette’s grasp with an, “I’ll put these in water.” The movement startled them out of their state and Marinette shyly lifted one arm. Adrien looped his elbow through it and led her to the limousine.

“So.” Marinette said as Adrien opened up the door. “Do I get to know what we’ll be doing today?”

“Not yet. It’s a surprise.” Adrien climbed in after her and nodded to the Gorilla in the mirror. His trusty bodyguard nodded back and pulled out onto the street with a rumble, the car quickly slotting into traffic. Marinette hummed and cracked open her purse to hear Tikki’s whisper.

“Plagg told me about it, Marinette. You’ll love it.”

“Plagg!” Adrien objected, scandalized. Plagg snickered from his pocket. “How could you?”

“Top ten anime betrayals.” Marinette giggled. Adrien fixed a glare at the lump in his jacket.

“Well, if the stinky sock in the room is just going to spoil it, I’ll tell you our first destination for today. We’re going to find Andre and get special ice cream.”

Marinette clapped excitedly, and the sight of her face was more than enough to make Adrien smile again. “Do you have the clue?”

“Ready and waiting.” Adrien presented his phone’s screen, which held the first clue that would eventually lead to the whereabouts of Paris’s renound ice-cream vender. Well, Adrien could have just checked social media for spoilers – but half the fun of it was figuring out the mystery! “And I came prepared.”

Marinette sent him a questioning look. Adrien grinned and pulled out the black jacket, hat and sunglasses he’d placed there earlier.

“It’s a disguise.” He explained, slipping on the sunglasses. “So we don’t get mobbed.” Adrien struck a pose. “How to I look?”

“Like a huge dork.” Marinette said affectionately.

“But I’m your dork.”

“Next time, please let me choose your disguise. I love you, Adrien, but you are terrible at disguises.”

She loves me. Adrien flushed to the tips of his ears. Marinette didn’t seem to have realized what she said, because she was still laughing and poking out her tongue adorably. Adrien put on his best Chat Noir smirk.

“Oh, so there’ll be a next time?”

“Of course there will be, you dumb cat! Now, let’s see that clue.” Marinette leaned over to look at his phone screen. Adrien held it away from her teasingly.

“Well, if you’re gonna be like that, maybe I don’t want to share.”

Marinette’s hand went up, and too late did Adrien realise she wasn’t reaching for the phone. Her hand landed in his hair and scratched teasingly right behind his ear – a dirty move, she knew that was his weak spot! Adrien couldn’t stop the purr from escaping his chest. He leaned into the contact, rumbling. Marinette cackled and snatched the phone from his distracted hands.

“Hey! No fair!”

Adrien pouted, until she leaned over to place her head on his shoulder. She was too cute to not forgive! Adrien caved and read the clue with her. He hummed in thought.

“The park, maybe?”

“Maybe. Or near a shopping centre? It’s kind of ambiguous.”

“Then I guess we’ll just have to go exploring.”

[mariisseething]

Analyzing Hero Costumes: Girls of Class 1-A

My obsession has spiraled out of control. Let me roast analyze these babes. I’m dumb. I’m tired. I’m gay. Let’s do this.

Warning: I’m a cynical, lazy-ass critic with no consistent taste. Don’t expect a fair analysis.

(This is just for fun, please don’t get mad at me for being an undereducated weeb! I went into writing this with only the knowledge I’ve obtained through watching the show and reading the manga. I don’t know everything about the costumes, and I don’t want to either)!

Ashido Mina (Pinky)

Babe, imma be frank here.

I love her, but—

that shit ugly.

Funcionality: Mina’s quirk (Acid) comes from her hands and feet. If I remember correctly, she has passages in her shoes that her...foot..acid.....can pass through, and her hands are fully exposed. So her costume is “practical”, and works with her quirk.

Design: As I said before, that shit ugly. The body suit has the worst pattern and color combination I’ve ever seen. (Like if Sully from Monster’s Inc. was turned into a cow and hated it). Her tiddies should be popping out any second now, which isn’t great. Her weird armpit vest with it’s stupid fluffy collar is quite reminiscent of Hawks’ jacket, which leads me to believe that their costumes were made by the same designer. (Many of the designers in the BNHA universe put calling-cards in their costumes). Her white mask is pointless, but at least it matches the fluff on her collar. Her boots, though they have a purpose, are ugly as sin. The pale yellow doesn’t match any other piece in the ensemble, and the Dabi-scar colored purple makes me sad. Hate that.

Total Score: 2/10

Her costume does almost nothing to enhance her quirk, and it’s hideous. The only reason it got two points was because of the shoe holes, and the possibility that it’s connected to my boy Hawks.

Seriously, this is some Seasame Street lookin-ass bullshit.

No hate on Mina, she’s lovely, but her taste is atrocious. (see: her bedroom).

Asui Tsuyu (Froppy)

Okay, okay bitch I see you.

I’m here for this.

Funcionality: Tsu’s quirk (Frog) requires a decent amount of flexibility from clothing. Spandex works for that I guess. Normally, I would automatically fail this costume for having goddamn toe “socks”, but for Tsuyu they’re nessecary. Having her individual toes chiseled out helps her grip onto shit when she’s kicking ass. It looks like her gloves are attached to her body suit, which is rad, but I’m not sure what the purpose of that waist belt-thing is. If anything, the chunky pieces of her costume would make it harder for her to swim. I also have no fucking clue what that head piece is. I once thought they were like binoculars or something, but she’s never put them on her face so...they wouldn’t fit....on her face..huh.....I’m so stupid bro.

Design: Lets start with a positive, the color scheme slaps. Everything goes together, and the dark green even matches her hair. The bodysuit has a cool structure, and I can definitely appreciate the slight turtleneck and boot-esq feature; however, the chunky wrist pieces, belt, neck/chest-thing, and head piece confuse me. I guess they’re there for fashion, gutter fashion. Shitty crap face fashion. Ugly butthole fashion. FILTH! I need to calm down holy shit—

Total Score: 6/10

The look honestly only lost points for the random ass statement pieces. Water terrains are Tsuyu’s specialty, and a clunky outfit would certainly slow her down underwater.

The toe shit, turtleneck, thigh-high “boots”, and color scheme are pretty dope though.

(Also, she only has three toes but frogs have four).

(My Hero Academia: Cancelled).

Hagakure Toru (Invisible Girl)

So, here’s the real question.

Is she naked?

Short answer: I dunno.

Funcionality: So she’s invisible, right? A good costume would emphasize that. I can only assume she wears the boots and gloves for comfort and so her allies can see where she is. If she wants to go full invisible, she just has to take them off. At one point, it was confirmed that she was topless during the sports festival, but we’ve had no further updates on her costume. A few people have theorized that her costume is made of her hair (assuming she has hair). We know that this is possible, as Mirio’s costume is made of his hair so he can remain clothed while his quirk is activated. The only issue would be making an outfit out of something you can’t see. If I were Toru, I would choose to fight nude because, I-uh...hmm, I-I can do what I want SHUT UP!

Design: There’s not much to critique here. The shade of blue on her gloves is cute, and the pink stripes don’t make much of an impact. The shoes are just about the most boring thing I’ve ever seen, like why are they beige??? What are they supposed to match? I just—ugh, beige??? What the fuck Horikoshi...smh.

Total Score: 5/10

Since we don’t know if the “hair-costume” thing is canon, I can’t rate it any higher. If that is true, it would be an 7/10. The outfit does its job, but I’m bored and beige sucks.

(Btw I don’t trust her...)

(Sketchy chick right here).

(Sketchy chick with some ugly-ass beige shoes).

Jirou Kyouka (Earphone Jack)

Aww.

She’s cute!

Look at her little face, d’awwwweeeeee!

Funcionality: The lovely Kyouka’s quirk (Earphone Jack), makes absolutely no sense to me. Like, I get that she can hear better and can eavesdrop really well, but how does she...make loud noises??? With the speakers??? Plugging earbuds into a speaker doesn’t make............noise, and the speakers aren’t part of her body. Whatever, back to the analysis. The speakers on her hands and calves amplify sound somehow, and her earlobes are exposed. It’s works.

Design: The speaker boots are basic, but acceptable. She’s got some comfy looking black pants, and a trendy salmon-colored top. Her jacket is iconic, and she’s wearing a choker. (+1,000,000 points for that). The white gloves don’t match shit, but they’re fingerless so I’ll let it slide. Her headphones almost match....meh. I don’t care. (+10 for the face paint).

Total Score: 8/10

Listen, I’d give her a 10 but this costume just isn’t....gimmicky, enough for me? She’s a superhero for fucksake! Now’s the time to dress your goddamn best! The look is practical, and seems to be her taste, I just disagree with her choices. Sue me. I’d either wanna fight in the wackiest most dangerous getup you’ve ever seen, or completely naked. Either way, I’m getting arrested. Jirou needs to get on my fucking level.

Uraraka Ochaco (Uravity)

I don’t know boys,

it seems like she might be...

round.

Fuck sharp angles!

Funcionality: Ochaco’s quirk (Zero Gravity) only requires her hands to work. More specifically, her fingertips. Uh, yeah those are some nude fingertips. *Ahem* moving on. Actually wait, since she often uses her quirk on herself it would be helpful for her to eliminate as much extra weight as possible, so I’m hoping that all of the accessories are hollow. They better be, or I’m gonna start throwing hands with Kohei Horikoshi.

Design: When Ochaco first got her hero costume she was surprised by how tight it was, even saying that it wasn’t supposed to be that tight. Bitch, how could it have been loose? I don’t...fuck it. I like the colors, I like the boots a lot actually, but who cares about that, I wanna talk about her fucking chastity belt. Who she keepin out? (Jesus Christ she’s a child, tone it down Mari). Do you think it’s comfortable to walk around with a chunk of plastic on your crotch?! I don’t know, seriously, is it? Maybe she’s trying to hide something...a hip dip perhaps?! Jk hip dips are stupid, that’s how bones work, don’t be ashamed. Her wrist...spheres... have handles on them, no comment, and whereas I usually LOVE chokers—that one is stupid and I hate it. Curvy little shit.

Total Score: 8/10

I like it overall, but some things are just too strange to overlook. (i.e. the chastity belt, wrist cuff handles, and the ugly choker). This costume doesn’t really scream Uraraka to me either. It’s a bit unoriginal to me.

I just don’t love it.

(Why are her fists clenched? Is she trying to fight? I could snap her like the twig she is and steal her girlfriend).

(Assuming she has one).

Yaoyorozu Momo (Creati)

Oohooohohohoho

hooohohoho

hoooooo mAN do I have some WORDS for this one!

Funcionality: Momo’s quirk (Creation) does require quite a bit of skin to be exposed, but I’m not sure why that skin HAS to be her boobs. She’s got thighs, a stomach, a back, an upper chest, and arms. Why do her Russian nesting dolls have to come out of her tiddies??? Okay, actually, she doesn’t make that many things with her tits. So....why’re they out? This costume definitely lets her quirk run wild, maybe too much.

Design: The red is pretty, and I can tolerate the sandy yellow. Her shoes are unimportant, so let’s just gloss over those. Now, WHAT is that thing? A makeshift, tan colored, plastic tube mini...skirt? I know she has a shelf on her ass that she carries books on, but doesn’t she have a cellphone? Google? Can’t she just remember the molecular make-up of a cannon? (Because she only makes cannons now for some reason). Have we ever even seen her reading those books? Can she read? A large portion of her midsection/chest is exposed up to another one of those weird chest pieces and a neck jacket. Maybe she should cut the neck coat off and glue it to her tiddies.

Total Score: 1/10

Listen, Horikoshi clearly understands what Momo’s costume needs, but he has no idea how to make that. This outfit IS inappropriate, no matter how you look at it. She’s a minor, and I don’t like the idea that she’s running around 75% naked. The only part of this that I like is the shade of red. That’s not good.

I really like Momo, she’s a good character, it’s unfortunate that we have to sexualize her so much. Can’t girls just be smart without also being eye candy for creepy 30 year old weebs?

——————

That’s it for this analysis. I plan on posting more stuff like this since I enjoy writing it so much! You should totally follow me so you don’t miss my future ramblings! 💖

Unless you hated it.

I wouldn’t blame you.

[grs-the-neighborhood]

The Misfits Chapter 3: Niko Part 1

A Few Years Ago

A young boy is walking home from school, after another gruelling day of negativity from his peers. He always felt like he were when his brother, Serpent, his mother, his Uncle Dipper being there to protect him: it’s why he didn’t feel comfortable when he had to go get stuff for mom when she wasn’t around. He was looking at a shopping list that his mom gave him.

“Let’s see, eggs, bacon, a carton of milk, chocolate bars, and bread,” he said.

“AaaaHHhhhhnnghh!” He heard a scream.

“What the heck!” he thought.

He dash and follow the sound of the scream, he see the stairs heading to what appear to be an abandoned subway station. It was covered in dust, mud, and musk because it hasn’t been running ages ago. Yet life still occurred, vines growing on the walls, cockroaches, and rats hiding, and a voice of pain can be heard. He followed it until he sees a little girl with cyan hair lying there and crying in pain. The boy quickly dash toward her. He gets close and sees her hands covered in deep scratches, her right ankle having a gash._

_ “Are you okay?” he asks, hoping to get an answer only to hear the little girl crying.

The boy doesn’t know what to do, he gives her his hand and the girl grabs his hand and stands up, pulling out wet wipes. As he’s wiping her face he takes in her features: she’s younger than him due to her size, her skin was brown, she was wearing a purple skirt with a black stripe going horizontally in the middle. She looks like she’s been here for weeks and hasn’t been fed for some time.When he was wiping her face, his eyes are filled with shock. The girl’s face is covered in blood but the red and blue veins did not obscure because they were glowing and her eyes are a mixture of creepy purple and green.

“What’s your name?” he said. The girl tries to think, but all she can do is groan in pain from thinking too much. The boy calms her down my stroking her hair.

“Niko.”

Now

A 15 year old girl is sleeping until…..

**Beep-Beep-Beep!!! **

An annoying sound of her alarm clock wakes her up. After hitting  the snooze button with her red tail, she crawls out under her bed and yawn. She uses one of her hands to push her bang to look at the time. 6:00 AM. Her brother must have set the time for her. Her room is is filled with stuffed animals on the floor and crayons and papers scatter there as well. Photos of precious memories  (her 8th birthday, Christmas with her big brother and her mom, and her big brother’s 13th birthday) on the purple walls. She look at the note she saw on her front door. Her brother must have write it. Niko grab the paper and swallow it in her whole mouth. She give a big smile.

“Today is DA day!”

She cheer, then she tripped herself on the floor.

“Oof!”

Niko went to the bathroom to brush her teeth with a purple toothbrush that have her name on it. She look at the mirror and sees her reflection: She has reddish-brown skin, cyan and white colored hair style in a bob with bangs covering her eyes, a red dinosaur-like tail. Niko touch her head to see if she have her horns. To her relief, her horns are not here, because she fear people might call her a freak. She look at her hands. Sometime her hands are claws and sometime human hands. She gasp and saw her claws, she started to panic, she took a deep breath and concentrate on reversing her claws back to hands. And she did it.

_It is still you. _

Niko grab the clothes she is going to wear for school in her drawer and head straight to check if her mom is there. Niko see her mom, a redhead, getting ready to go to work by dressing herself up in a lumberjack attire and donning her axe.

“Mom, is Ethan awake?” Niko asked.

Wendy look at her. “Hmm? I’m not sure, Niko. Can you wake your brother up? I am heading out. Be back at 5. I’m going to stay at work a little late, so make sure you tell Ethan to make dinner tonight, okay?”

She makes sure Niko remember by writing it down on paper and giving it to her.

“Okay mom.”, she answers, putting on her headband. It is blue with a pink heart on it. She is dressed in a purple shirt, white pant, and pink-purple boots. The problem was it that she put her purple shirt backwards. Niko didn’t notice this but her mom did. Smiling, Wendy helps her shirt on right.

“Niko, you gotta pay attention when you put your shirt on.” Wendy playfully chides.

“Sorry.” Niko apologizes, looking down in shame. Wendy bought her into a hug, cheering up, she knows her daughter had low self-esteem issues.

“It’s alright, sweetie”, she soothes, giving her daughter a kiss on the head.

“Make sure you tell Ethan what I said, Niko!” she shouts as she leaves out the door.

“Okay, mom.” Niko responds, eating the paper in order to remember what to tell her brother.

She opened her door and she is in a room, her brother’s. The room is covered in Fall Out Boy posters and movie posters of his favorite genres, sci-fi, crime noir, and horror taped on the wall. He also has piles of DVD on the shelf. Right as she was getting near his bed, she stepped on one of his DVD’s. She picked up;  it read “No Country for Old Men” and she put it in the DVD shelf. She gets near the bed and sees her brother still sleeping, snoring like an old man. She walk toward him, stare at him for a moment.

“Brother get up, it is 7:30,” She whispers, but he doesn’t budge as he still snores.

She tries to wake him up again by pushing him, but it yields the same results. She puffs her cheeks realizing it’s become pointless to Ethan up. She tries to wake up Serpent.       

“Serpent.”, Niko whispered, nothing happened. “Serpent!!”, she whispered and slowly, a dark blue ooze started to seep out of Ethan’s back. Serpent woke up.

“What is it, Niko?”, he grumbled, his eyespots blinking slowly.

“Can you wake Ethan up? It’s time to go to school.”

“.....Ethan is going to be late, sis. I’m pretty sure you don’t know, but he had a night terror last night. He’s going through a lot of emotions right now and I think it would be better if you let him sleep.”, Serpent explains.

“I love you two. I hope you guys get the chance to become heroes.” she thought.

Flashback 

 Niko was reading a book and heard the sound of the door open. 

 “Ethan?” She called. 

She teleport and sees Ethan. She ran over and give him a hug, which oddly enough he didn’t return. 

“Did you make a big impression to the Vanguard League?”, she asks her brother in joy. 

But instead of seeing him in confidence, all she saw is depression, pain, and, especially, anger. He doesn’t say it, but she knows. She knows something horrible happened to Ethan. 

 “Ethan, what happen?”, she asks, worried for her brother. Ethan doesn’t move, he doesn’t speak for the first couple of minutes. He has his face down, so Niko can’t tell what he is feeling. He pulls a paper out of his back pocket and unfolds it. On top of the paper, it says on the top: 

Rejection 

 “I….I didn't make it,” he chokes. Tears are dripping down his face as he continues. 

“I didn’t understand why, but now....n-now, I do”. After that, he walks into his room and shuts the door.  Niko tilted her head in confusion, but saddened by the news.

 “I am so sorry,” she said, feeling sympathetic about how crushed her brother is..

On the Bus

As Niko got on the bus. She put her backpack on her seat and check the inside of her backpack to see if she have everything. Instead of unzipping her backpack she use her X-ray vision.  Inside her purple backpack. Math Homeworks in her Math Textbook (with help from Andrew Cunningham), her completed Biology Worksheet (with the help from Ethan) inside her Biology textbook, her lunch bag, overdue library book, a bunny pencil case, and agenda.

The bus start to move. Niko check her phone she got out of her pocket and see a text message from Ethan. 

 Ethan: Niko, why didn't you wake me up!

 Niko: 😟. I did, but Serpent said you have been emotionally stress. 

 Ethan:..... 

 Ethan: I am going to be late. 

 Niko: Ethan wait-

 *Ethan left the conversion*

 “Darn it,” she curses. 

Just then, the bus stop, Niko look at the window and see a girl outside sitting on a bench. Niko examine her: She have brown skin like her, and depending on her height, she is possibly a year younger than her. She have eye are yellow like a sunflower petal. Her red hair is in pigtails. Her attire are a salmon pink sailor uniform top with a sky blue ribbon, short salmon pink skirt and thigh-high heeled white boots. She is wearing goggle probably because it is sunny outside. As she get on the bus, she remove her goggle. Niko grab her backpack, put it on her shoulder and slide down in hoping that she can sit down with her. Hoping that Niko can make a friend.

“Excuse me, do you want to sit down with me?” Said Niko. The young girl look at her and thought for a moment. “Okay,”

“I am Mari Salazar, what is your name?” Said the red pigtail girl,

 “Niko Corduroy,” Niko reply. 

“I am fifteen years old, I am a raised in Townville and live with my mom and big brother, Ethan. I loves to draws and drink milk,” 

 Mari giggle, she never see anyone one so energetic. Niko tilted her head in confusion. She wonder if she said something funny so she ask. 

 “What is so funny?” she ask.

“Oh nothing, for the first time in my first week in residing in Townsville, I never see anyone too excited.” She explains. “People will be scare of me or surprise and try to be on my good side if I mention about my father.” she explain.

Niko bow her head. She shouldn't have said too much, how ever she start to talk again.

“Your father?” she ask.

“My father is Rex Salazar and he is one of the greatest heroes of all time, he secret weapon for Providence, a global organization dedicated to protecting the world from rampaging EVOs. EVO stands for Exponentially Variegated Organism. They are organism that has had its intracellular-nanites activated.

Niko smile because she never knew that Mari is a child of a hero. She wonder if she can introduce Ethan to her. Maybe he can be friends with her too. 

 “So why did move to Townsville?” she said.

 Mari blush a little. “Oh it is kind of personal but, I want to join The Vanguard League, so I can be a hero just like my dad, and one day work for Providence. However, I am not good at fighting, but I will try.” she answer.

 “The Vanguard League,” Niko thought.

 Niko remember the day, five months ago when Ethan is miserable because of his rejection from the Vanguard League. To make it worse, his friend, a member of The Vanguard League, Rénee wrote a letter to him that he can not join because of how dangerous Serpent was (even though to her, Serpent is a sweet and thoughtful person with an attitude) and also, the crimes that Ethan’s father did. She never met him and Ethan, her mom, and Uncle Dipper never talked to her about it. They might be the reason why he have night terrors last night and going through a lot of emotions right now. Niko tighten her fists.

“Don’t get your hopes up,” she said to Mari. “Even if they are nice and accept many super-powered teenage heroes, they will shatter your hope, one way or another through a background check or one simple mistake.”

Mari looks at her, she looked angry at the moment. She wants to know but she believes it’s best not ask. Mari thinks about the Vanguard League and then her family. She thinks of the black sheep that is all alone in the shadow of the sunshine, her family and their legacy. 

Lunch Break 

 As she return her library book and quickly ate her lunch, Niko head to the cafeteria, she hope that Mari is here eating her lunch. Niko starts thinking of conversations for another interaction with her when all of a sudden she accidently bump into someone. She realize it is Cayenne. Niko gulp in fear. She heard about Cayenne from her brother. Ethan doesn’t like Cayenne at all because of the constant insults she sends his way. 

“Hey! Watch where you are going!” she said. 

 “I am sorry,” she whispers.

Cayenne glare at Niko eye-to-eye, but Niko's bang hide her eyes.

“Why your bangs covering your eyes, you look like a mop. Can't you get a haircut? Or at least put your bang up?”

“No.” Niko whimper.

Cayenne lift her eyebrow for a moment. Did that student said no to her. 

 “What did you say?” Cayenne demand. 

 “I said no.” Niko answer quietly. 

 “Louder?” 

 “No!” Niko yell. 

 Feeling annoyed, Cayenne raise her hand that is close to Niko. “If you are not going to let me see your eyes, let me do it for you,” “

Are you… touching me?” she said in fear. 

 As Cayenne lift her bang up to get a glimpse of her eyes without answering her question, Niko start to scream. 

“AAAHHH!”

 The students stop what they are doing to see what happen. Cayenne back off and glare at Niko as she kneel on the floor shivering.

 “Do not touch me,” Niko said. “Why is this happening to me.” 

“Fine, whatever weirdo.” she call her as she walk away.  She start to mumbling words at Niko: “The only one you should blame for the situation you are in is yourself.” 

 Niko start to cry, she should have listen to her brother, but her meeting with her is unintentionally. Just then a she heard a male voice in a Irish accent. 

 “You are alright?” said the boy. Niko turn around and see Ryan, the emo and lone wolf of Townsville High. 

She blush slightly. She cannot believe it got worse, her crush is talking to her. Instead of Ryan lending Niko a hand he just stand there and lend against a wall. He brush his rusted red hair that falls over his right eye with his hand. 

 “I am not,” she said honestly. “Cayenne touched me.”

Ryan didn't show any sympathy and instead he coldly said to her: “Whatever, like I give a damn.” He said. 

 “But why did you ask that I am okay?” Niko ask in confusion. 

 “Why do you care!?” Ryan snapped.

 “Sorry.” said Niko and then look at the floor.

 Just then a strawberry blond haired girl wearing a bell-shaped blue dress shirt with a pink flower in the center appear and recording a video on her phone.

 “Story Time, it was clear that a romance was blossoming between them,” Ryan and Niko turn and see Vivian, still recording the cellphone.

 “Vivian! Cut that crap, we are not in love!” said Ryan angrily. “

Aw can't you at least give her a kiss?” Vivian tease.

“Why don't you confess your love to Cayenne as soon as I break your phone?” Ryan said as a threat and a tease. He put in fists together to show her his rage.

As a moment of silent occurs, Vivian start to run.

 “Get back here!” Ryan yell as he chase after her. 

 Niko’s cheek turn red as she is blushing when she heard the word, kiss. Just then Tamara Thunder come and see Niko lying on the floor. 

 “Niko, why are you on the floor?” she ask. Niko stand up and wipe her clothes. She look at Tamara and sadden. 

“I’m sorry, Tamara. I just had a moment.”, she said in a mixture of sadness and self-loathe. Tamara looks at her and gives her a consoling frown. 

 “Hey, how ‘bout your big sis take you to class?, she grins. Niko gives her a returning smile. 

“Thank you.”, she acknowledges. With the two girls walk to Niko’s classroom. When it comes to Ethan’s friends, Andrew and Tamara, they were basically Niko’s older siblings. Whether it was Andrew teaching her a little bit of martial arts or Tamara explaining to her how to be stand up for herself, she appreciates them. As Tamara take Niko to third period class she wave a goodbye.

Final Period: Biology

Niko sit on a black desk. She see a girl in front of her. She have wavy black hair, brown skin, and almond shaped black eyes. She is wearing a blue t-shirt and ankle-length jeans and shoes that are not fancy or athletic. She saw her reading a Biology Textbook. Niko look at her eraser labelled the name, Lauren Lee. Niko thought for a moment. Suddenly, her teacher come.

“Good Afternoon, class I hope you put your Biology worksheet on my desk,”

 Niko's eyes are widen, she quickly open up her textbook, and found her worksheet and hand it over to her teacher. Then, she sit down.

 “Thanks you, Niko. Where was I? Oh yes, we are going to start out anatomy unit. Let's start by dissecting fetal pigs. Everyone please find a partner to work with.” 

 As everyone gotten a partner, Niko just sit there and all alone hoping that someone will ask her. But sadly she did not, then her teacher glance at her with concern. Then she saw Lauren who is looking for anyone who don't have a partner also. Lauren has just been transferred to highschool level biology because of how outstanding her grades are in science that her classmates barely treated her equally, while Niko who need to have determination if she get the chance to graduate. So the teacher got a idea.

“Lauren is it okay for you to be with Niko?”

 Lauren Lee stare at Niko. Niko wave shyly and give a big smile in hope to show her that she is harmless. Lauren thought for a moment she look at anyone who haven't have a partner and then look at her the teacher. She sighed, feeling in defeat. 

 “Okay,” As the teacher left. 

Lauren tell Niko: “Since we are partners, you have to do exactly on what I am telling you.” 

 **************** 

 Niko sit down and watch as Lauren holding a sterile knife and cut sound the umbilical cord and in a “U” shape. Then, she cut the ribs and sternum with a bone cutters. She open up the chest cavity and look at it. Lauren ask her Niko to come to her. As Niko stand up to  go be with her. She could smell the fresh smell of a preserved dead piglet. She see the inside of the pig's organs. It look messy. Is this what butcher do. “Niko see this membrane,” said Lauren as she point at the thin membrane around the heart. 

“This membrane protect the heart. Write that down on your assignment sheet.” Niko obey her instruction and write it down. She keep standing there as Lauren continue to dissect the pig. Niko look at the clock and sighed. She never thought it would be boring. All she does is sit down while Lauren get the fetal pig, set up the dissection, and command Niko to write her notes.

 ��Lauren can I-” 

 “No.” Lauren interrupts.

Niko puff her cheeks, this is boring. But that give her an idea. As Lauren make a longitudinal cut through the throat toward the mouth, she try to remove the skin under the chin without cutting it too deep. She almost got it until Niko poke one of her shoulders. She turns around.

 “Hey Lauren, look at me. Hee hee hee.” said Niko as she put two test tubes up her nostrils.

 Lauren stop what she is doing and see Niko fooling around. 

 “Niko! Put them out of your nose, are you trying to make a fool of yourself and slack off?” she snapped. Niko shun for a moment. She put them out of her nose and apologize.

“I am sorry, it is just that I want to help you, but I am bored. You are doing the work while I have to sit down and copy your sheet in my own words. That is not teamwork.” Niko explain and then puff her cheeks, to show her partner how unfair she is and bored. 

 Lauren glare at her.

“That is because I am very focus on getting good grades, unlike some people,” she said coldly.

 “I am not doing this for my parents, I am doing this for myself.” Niko glance at her.

 “Are you saying I am dumb?” she ask.

 “No, but you are slacking off.” Niko took a deep breath, she know that arguing isn't the answer, she need to act tough, just like her “sister”, Tamara taught her. 

"Okay, then and whose fault is it for me to slack off? It is the leader, and do you know who is the leader? YOU!”

 Lauren start to open her mouth, but then close it. She never see Niko so serious. She often see her drawing in class instead of listening to the lectures.

 “If you want to have a good grade on this assignment and I want to do something, tell me not to sit around and have me do something!” 

 Lauren look at her even though her bang is covering her eyes. Lauren can not tell if she is serious or not, but her posture and the tone prove that she is seriously. Plus, she is telling the truth, she have been doing the work for herself and Niko, which means:

“Fine,” Lauren said as she give the knife to Niko. “You will dissect the fetal pig, and do not worry, I will guide.” Niko smile, it work.

 “Thank you Tamara.” 

3:00 PM, outside of school:

 Niko wait for her brother to meet her so they can walk to school together. She wait, and wait, and wait until she feel like he is not coming. She grab her cell phone and send a text message to Ethan. 

 Me: Ethan where are you? I am waiting outside of school 😢.

Ethan: Niko I can not walk home with you. I am busy. Please take the bus.

 Me: Okay. Thank You. Oh I almost forgot. Mom is going to be back at 5 PM. So you have to make dinner. 

 Ethan: Niko, you should have texted me in the morning? Why didn't you say anything? Niko: Sorry I forgot. Ethan: Ok. What do you want for dinner? 

 Me: 🌮 

 Ethan: Fine. 

 Me: I love You! 

 Ethan: Love you too. 

 Niko smile at the text and hug her cellphone with all her heart, she is lucky to have a big brother like him. 

 She saw Mari on the bus stop, but she is not alone, she is with a young man. She could not tell what the young man look like because of her bangs. Niko decide to take a closer look. Without hesitation, she start to walk to the bus stop. To her surprise, suddenly out of nowhere, an object covered in dark energy hit her face. She is knocked out for half an hour and wakes up, rubbing her face and feeling her forehead. There was a knot where she got hit and just when her eyes started to water, the bus showed up. She walked in, waiting for the bus to take her home. She couldn't understand, why was she hated. 

 However, she is not alone two people are in the same bus as her and they are sitting behind her, a  young woman standing 5’ 10'’ have short magenta hair with an undercut, light green sclera and purple irises. She wear a shoulder black shirt tucked in loose light purple shorts and black combat boots. She also wear her golden choker sealed with a dark pink jewel, and two ear piercings, a golden hoop and dark pink stud to match. And next her is possibly her half brother, standing 5'2” whose have pointy ears, green eyes. His hair is spiky and "greenish-blue" in color and he has an average complexion. His signature attire is a red hoodie, blue jeans, red high-top converse shoes, and fingerless gloves. His jeans is held together by a dark gray belt, and a buckle with his initials. 

 The young woman smack him in the head feeling piss for what he did. 

 “Nice going Edward,” she said. “You just made her cry. We're supposed to heroes undercover  and what did we do, knock out a girl.” she whisper as she look at Niko rubbing her eyes to stop tears from flowing in her eyes. She feels bad for what happen. The young man, Edward rub his head and look at her.

 “Relax, Sarina, we must not let Mari blow her cover,” said Edward. “This is our chance to infiltrate Claymore, a thief wanted for stealing in five countries, Jump City and now Townsville that the Young Blood Alliance recruited.”

 “She does not look dangerous!” Sarina exclaim to him as if she care more about the girl than the mission that Kingsley assigns them. “Plus, what if she just came to see Mari as a friend?” 

 Edward crossed his arm and glare at her. “Don't judge a book by it cover, she may look innocent, but I sense something dark within her. And you do too,” said Edward being serious about the mission.

 Edward Logan also known as The Changer, and Sarina Roth, children of  member of The Teen Titans, Beast Boy, Raven, and Starfire. They are affiliates of The Vanguard League recommended by Danielle Stone. They are task on a watching over Mari, a Vanguard Leaguard member-in-training  in hope she can complete her mission to find and capture the thief who is a human EVO. If this succeed, they will become official member of the Vanguard League.

 Edward Logan’s powers are different from his parents, Beast Boy and Raven. He may have telekinesis, but he have matter manipulation and thought projection. He know the basic moves of Martial Arts. 

 While his half sister, Sarina Roth inherit both her mom, Starfire and Raven's powers, Starbolts and Starwaves, Lazer eyes, Super Strength and flight is what she is most familiar with. She is attempting to learn Raven’s powers with slow progress. She is also very smart and uses this to analyze and critique problems and give solution to help people. 

 Sarina glance at Niko again, he might be right, but her psionic ability, empathy is eating her alive. She never seen anyone feeling self-loathing and facing hatred. This make Sarina feel like she want to explode. 

 “She’s just like me,” Sarina thought. “Being good without any benefits, and her still feeling like an outsider in the City of Townsville.” Sarina take a deep breath and let the air filled in her nostrils so that she won't let her powers unleash by her emotions. 

 Sarina look at the POW Card that Rénee, Vanguard League's Secretary of Knowledge gave to her. (Ever since Ken and Eiffel integrating Pow Card tech into the databases. It become very useful for them): 

 Name: Claymore Salazar

 Level: - 7 

 Species: Human EVO

 Alignment: Villain

 Powers: the creation of dimensional portals that can connect any two places, and possibly the past and future. 

Description:  He is a government project between the old hero, Rex Salazar and Breach, an unstable human EVO. He was suppose to be the next gen weapon for the Providence until his mom escaped from the government facility. After, being rejected from his father, he lives a life of thievery by using his power. 

 “We need to find him immediately, who know what have he been doing?” 

 At home:

Niko walks back into the apartment complex, reaching the 3rd floor and heads to door number 310, unlocking it with her key. She closes the door, locking it in the process; she goes to the kitchen and finds an ice pack  in the freezer and put it on her face. She plan to go to her room and try to find something to cover up her face so that her brother won't know, but then came trouble. As she heads to the living room, she sees her brother sitting on the couch. He turns his head, giving her an expression of worry. 

 “Niko, where were you?” Ethan said as if he have not see her for months. “It’s 4:45, mom and I have been worry about you, I wanted to search for you, but mom said to stay here in hope that you come home.” 

 “I was waiting for the bus,” Niko frown, sitting on the couch with him. Ethan look at her and saw Niko having an ice pack on her face. Ethan quickly push the ice pack away from her hand and to his eyes he saw a knot where she got hit. 

 “Who did this to you?” Ethan said as he put both of his arms around her shoulders, his face far from pleased.

 “I don't know,” she answer. 

 “What do you mean,” he said as he raise his voice. 

 “I..Ii.. I was walking to the bus stop to wait for the bus and I saw Mari. She was talking to someone and suddenly out of nowhere, an object covered in dark energy hitted my face.” She explain. 

 Ethan let out an inhumanly growl, what kind of person used their super powers to hurt innocent people, especially his sister? He didn't know who “Mari” is maybe she must be behind this.

 “Who is Mari?” Ethan ask another question. 

 “She is a friend I made today.” She said shyly. 

 At first Ethan is joy that Niko made a friend because she mostly go and eat her lunch alone and go to the library to read books or hang out with him and his friends, now she is growing up. But he need to know more about Mari.

 “What is her last name?” he ask the fourth question. “Salazar, why?” she answer the fourth time. 

 “I am just interesting because what if she did this.” He said. 

 Niko's eyes are widen, Mari would never do that. Niko met her in the morning and she was nice. Is her brother going to tell her to avoid her? 

 “I do not think so, she was talking to someone else, a young man. Probably her new friend from school or a brother when I went on to the bus stop.” She expresses in hesitance. 

 Ethan pause for a moment. Niko bows her head and give a sigh. 

 “I am sorry for making you have a heart attack….” She said. “I know you have been emotionally stress recently because of a night terrors, school, and- It won't happen again. I promise,” 

 Then, Niko rub her left arm with her right hand feeling less confident on her promise because she feel like she will break her promise, so she said her final sentences. 

 “I hope because I might forget one day…..”

 Ethan sadly smile and ruffled her hair. 

 “Don’t worry, sis. I’ll make sure you won’t.” 

Lauren Lee and Edward Logan belong to @shorty-tori

Ethan Corduroy, Andrew Cunningham, and Tamara Thunder belong @ej-cappy-universe

Sarina Roth belong @aj-thegreatest

Violet, Mari, and Claymore @hotsassbacon

Ryan, Vivian, Cayenne, and Rénee @princesscallyie

Niko Corduroy and Munchausen Young belong to me

[batkatbrown]

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Something was squeaking in the dark room. A chittering that wasn't quite birdsong but was not entirely unpleasant. Except for the thundering headache that twinged at each chirp as Hanzo dragged himself out of oblivion.

Crust kept his eyes sealed shut for a moment and he sighed into the silk pillow. Everything hurt from the soles of his feet to the top of his head. Getting blasted by a sonic scream from a dragon could do that to the best of hunters.

He rolled to the side enough to look at Jesse’s tank and the merman chattering at him with a frown. The creature was slapping the glass with a hand but relaxed into the water when they made eye contact.

He managed a smile and pulled his blanket a little higher. He regretted not putting on warmer clothes before passing out and the chill made his toes curl. There really was only one solution that was easy enough to handle half dead.

“I’m going to take a bath,” he murmured to the tiny merman and began to drag himself vertical. The floor wavered and he had to blink it away before standing. Jesse chattered angrily and zipped to the edge of the tank closest to him with a splash of his tail.

Hanzo rubbed the side of his head not covered by a bruise as he watched his pet. Would it be too strange to take the tank into the bathroom with him? It was surely bizarre behavior. No one else would bring a fish with them from place to place in their own house.

He’s not just a fish, he sighed at the nagging thought, not sure if he was willing to investigate that trail. Jesse batted his big dark eyes up at him, hand clasped to his chest and a seductive flash and ripple of his bright red tail. It was almost a mating display and Hanzo chuckled.

“Fine... you can come with me.”

Jesse chattered and rolled in the water splashing and showing off in the early morning sunlight streaming through the window. His eyes seemed to follow Hanzo though as the hunter went to his closet to fish out a part of swim shorts.

Shucking his pants and underwear he carefully stepped into the small black garment. It hurt to bend over and he winced at the motion. Powerful muscles rippled in his back and thighs as he dragged them up inch by inch.

Slowly letting out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding, he relaxed against the doorframe of the closet. Pain throbbed behind his eyes and he knew he needed to hydrate to fight it off.

“I’ll be back, Jesse,” Hanzo murmured before slowly trekking out of his bedroom and across the hall to the bath. A massive clawfoot tub took center stage and he turned the enchanted faucet and perfectly hot water gushed out. He fiddled with the knobs to the sides to filter out anything that might hurt and grabbed a small vial of golden fluid.

He added three drops to the water and the shimmering magic danced across the top. He left it to brew and shuffled downstairs. It was dark and he didn’t bother turning on the lights while he fetched a tall glass of water and a plateful of sashimi grade salmon.

It was not for him though he needed to eat soon. He was more concerned with keeping Jesse full. The memory of those sharp teeth were fresh in his mind.

It’s dangerous. His mind supplied as he headed back upstairs, ignoring the ache of his limbs. The bounty was worth slaying the dragon that had been harassing a nearby town and killing off livestock.

Jesse scolded him when he finally made it back into the bedroom and Hanzo tried to appease the miniature merman with a hunk of fish. It seemed to do the trick as the little thing swam up and attacked the flesh. Massive chunks disappear faster than Hanzo could see the man take bites and he hummed to cover the greedy wet gurgling sound.

It didn’t take Jesse long to finish his breakfast and Hanzo watched curiously as the tiny creature cleaned himself. He dunked his face in the water and patted himself down from mouth to belly. It pooched out a bit and Hanzo found himself leaning closer.

There was something between the man’s hips he hadn’t noticed before. It was a small slit that extended from the soft human like skin to just past the tiny scales edge. Hanzo tapped a finger softly against the glass and Jesse proudly rolled onto his side with a flash of his tail. He fanned out the fins and waved slowly back and forth.

The little slit opened just a little and a gorgeous coral bit of flesh showed just for a moment.

Hanzo sat back on the bed, rubbing his face to hide the embarrassment. His cheeks pink as he realized what he had been inspecting so curiously. “Let’s go, Jesse.”

--

Jesse preened under Hanzo’s attention, showing off the powerful curve of his tail and the strong membrane between the spines. Hanzo’s chest was so close he could see the delicate pebbled texture around his nipples. The cold air had worked it’s magic and Jesse ached to reach up and wrap his fingers around the fat bud and squeeze.

HIs body responded to the hunters closeness and he rolled his hips invitingly as his slit grew flushed. It was the first time since his run in with the witch that he had felt the flush of heat and surge of desire curling through his body.

“Darlin’, why don’t you pick me up for a proper look?” Jesse crooned, flashing his best smile at the blushing man. “I promise I won’t bite now that I’m fed.”

Hanzo of course could not hear his flirting but Jesse figured he could still try his luck. Or at least enjoy the particular vantage point his size gave him. He licked his lips as Hanzo picked up the heavy tank.

It made the tendons in his neck stand out sharp and beautiful and Jesse didn’t even mind the sloshing all that much. He was soon placed on the sturdy laundry hamper near the bath and he took up his favorite spot on his rock. It was warm and smooth and he could curl into it.

Heat flushed down to the tip of his tail as Hanzo tested the water. His ass perfectly hugged by the thigh swimshorts and a nice fat bulge promised a treat fit to make his mouth water. He whistled and slapped his tail in the water to make his opinions known though it was lost on the man.

The water smelled good to Jesse and he found himself curiously swimming to the wall of his tank to look into the shimmery gold pool. A deep sniff brought the scent of magic to his nose and something sweet like honeysuckle.

“You got yourself a nice healing spell there, Darlin’,” Jesse murmured, glad that at least Hanzo was taking care of himself. He wished he could join him and lazily swim in the big tub and soak up the soothing energy the magic created.

Hanzo’s head tilted back, resting on a rolled up towel on the edge of the tub and sighed through sinfully parted lips. THe water lapped at his chest and up the smooth column of his throat. The bruises there began to shift from purple to green to yellow as the minutes ticked by and Jesse whined at being ignored for so long.

He slapped his hand on the glass and reached up to rattle the top until Hanzo cracked an eye to look at him.

“Hmm?” Hanzo shifted to cross his arms on the edge of the bath and rested his chin on them. “I do not know if it is safe for you to join me in the bath, Jesse.”

“C’mon, it’ll be fine.” Jesse wheedled, not really knowing how the curse would react to being dosed in a restorative potion. It would be worth it to beach himself on hanzo’s gorgeous chest and he crooned as loudly as he could.

Hanzo just shook his head and lay back in the soothing waters. His powerful legs draped along the far edge and Jesse watched transfixed as droplets ran down the hard curves of muscle and dripped into the water. He gulped and squirmed, longing for his true shape and to kiss each sparkling droplet and lick them up.

It was sweet torture to watch his master lounge in the water and each minute seemed far too long. Jesse hummed and pleaded in his jumbled voice to be allowed in and only stopped when Hanzo began to drain the tub.

He watched his chance to cuddle go down the drain and wearily flopped on the sand to pout. He turned his back on the man and curled himself into a ball. He had missed Hanzo and all he wanted was a little bit of petting and maybe an air kiss or a comforting stroke on his back. Was it really too much to ask?

He was too involved in his own thoughts to notice when the water turned back on and Hanzo rose from the tub.

“Do not be mad at me, Jesse.”

The little creature looked up, ready with his best sulk only for it to turn into a laugh as he was picked up. Snuggling in, he rubbed his face aggressively on Hanzo’s fingers, kissing the rough skin. He tugged at the calluses with his teeth and licked up the salt and glimmering remains of the potion with excited chittering.

Hanzo eased them into the tub and Jesse was suspended in the water. Right against Hanzo’s bare breast and he wasted no time in trying to burrow into the soft skin.

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Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six

[lady-divine-writes]

Klaine one-shot - “Loneliness, Ambien, and the Home Shopping Network” (Rated NC17)

Kurt doesn’t like it when his boyfriend goes on lengthy business trips, so he takes an Ambien to help him sleep.

But sometimes, after the Ambien, he does some weird things. (2772 words)

A/N: For anyone wondering, this is a re-write. Inspiration for this comes from Chris Colfer’s revelation that he sometimes sleep shops. This assumes that Kurt and Blaine didn’t meet in high school, but later as adults.

Read on AO3.

Kurt never slept well when Blaine went away on promotional gigs or when his shows toured. Kurt knew these trips came with the territory for an up-and-coming theatrical producer, but that didn’t mean he had to like them. He didn’t like being alone in their apartment. He didn’t like eating alone. He didn’t like showering alone. But mostly, he didn’t like sleeping alone. He detested it to the point that he couldn’t even sleep in their bed without his boyfriend. It was too cold without him. Blaine generated heat like a furnace and Kurt loved it. It eliminated the need for pesky pajamas, even during the winter. Without Blaine’s body heat, Kurt had to resort to flannel sleep pants and sweaters (mainly Blaine’s so that he could wrap himself up in his scent).

There were also too many pillows without his boyfriend there to steal them from underneath Kurt’s head in the middle of the night. He tried sleeping in the bed for the first night that Blaine was away, but no matter how he twisted or turned, how many different angles he tried, no matter what combination of pillows/blankets/comforters he used, he couldn’t seem to find a comfortable position. Out of desperation, he even broke out Bruce, his old boyfriend pillow, but that didn’t help. (Kurt imagined that Bruce still resented him for tossing him aside for a real man. They had been exclusive, after all.)

So Kurt resorted to sleeping in the living room on the sofa while Blaine was away. He would watch late night television and sip hot cocoa with peppermint, waiting for Blaine to call. After they talked, sometimes into the early morning, Kurt would take an Ambien to help him knock out for a couple of hours.

This was how Kurt Hummel survived his boyfriend being gone.

Blaine’s most recent trip, however, promised to be a nightmare for Kurt, Ambien or no. He was meeting with a handful of prospective backers - big names in the theater world - who were based out of London and preferred to meet there regardless of the fact that they had a penthouse in Manhattan. Between hobnobbing, luncheons, a photo shoot, and making the general rounds at workshops and universities to promote his show, he would be gone for almost a month.

There wasn’t enough late night television and cocoa in the world to make not having Blaine with him for a whole month okay.

Kurt didn’t let his misery show, and Blaine didn’t let on that he knew. They just enjoyed each other to the fullest for the three days before his flight. When Blaine finally left, Kurt watched from the living room window as the car service drove his boyfriend away.

Then he sat on the floor and cried.

The days without Blaine weren’t the hard part. Kurt had plenty to occupy his time. He was busy designing a new line and preparing for Fashion Week. He had scored a spot as a featured designer at one of the many exclusive preview shows. His new onslaught of responsibilities involved plenty of PR at Vogue, which meant quality time spent with his ex-fairy Godmother, Isabelle Wright.

He enjoyed that immensely.

But it was the nights Kurt found difficult to handle. He fell into a routine of watching America’s Next Top Model re-runs until Blaine called, then, after some explicit phone sex, he took a hot shower and an Ambien to see him through till morning when he got up and started the cycle all over again. He was pretty productive during the moments in between, storing his tablet beneath his pillow on the couch and sketching new ideas when they popped into his head. Ambien had the side-effect of giving him massively crazy and intense dreams. After seeing a couple of his more eye-opening designs – a lot of them more suited for the bedroom than anywhere else – he felt he might have a new hook on something he hadn’t tried to design before.

Lingerie. Specifically, leather lingerie.

Other than being a little hazy first thing in the morning, he felt he was handling things fairly well.

A few days before Blaine was scheduled to come home, boxes started to arrive. At first, Kurt thought they were from Blaine – presents his boyfriend had sent ahead so he wouldn’t have to struggle with them at customs. But the box Kurt signed for had a return address label from HSN. Kurt scrunched his nose when he read it, his brow furrowing when he noticed that the next three boxes – each one bigger than the previous one – were also from HSN.

Kurt was definitely no stranger to The Home Shopping Network, but he swore it off after his last purchase - the entire Richard Simmons Sweatin’ to the Oldies Collection. He hadn’t bought anything else since.

Kurt was determined that the purchases had to be a mistake, that someone must have gotten a hold of his credit card number and ordered a bunch of stuff, but then why would it come to their apartment?

Unless this was some stupid practical joke.

He didn’t have the time to deal with this mystery right away, even though he knew that identity theft was a serious crime and that he should cancel his credit cards immediately. But with his new line nearly finished and Blaine coming home, he had too many other things to worry about.

Somewhere between emailing a revised itinerary to Isabelle and putting the final touches on Blaine’s coming home dinner (smoked salmon, roasted fingerling potatoes with red peppers, and a chocolate mousse for dessert), Kurt remembered the boxes forming a pyramid in the corner of the bedroom. Blaine would be home in a little under two hours and Kurt didn’t want them cluttering up the space. Everything had to be perfect, and brown cardboard boxes took away from the romantic ambience he was trying to achieve. Besides, he was far too curious to know what was actually in them. He grabbed a small-ish one and sat down on the end of the bed. He sliced through the tape and was greeted by a flurry of packing peanuts. He huffed at HSN’s overuse of environmentally unsound polystyrene material, and silently praised himself for his decision to cut all ties with the company.

Digging through the mess, he found an invoice for what was hidden inside, with the words HSN After Dark written in large, cursive font at the top.

“After Dark?” His eyelids narrowed with curiosity. “What does that mean?”

The header was followed by his name and address, along with the last four digits of his credit card number. Under the contents section were the words ‘Mighty Max’, and some numbers that meant nothing to him … except for the price - $119.95.

“Hmm,” Kurt muttered, grimacing when a tidal wave of packing peanuts fell onto the floor, “sounds like it might be a blender maybe …”

Kurt located a blister package and lifted it from the box. His eyes went wide.

It was definitely not a blender.

What he held in his hands was the largest dildo he had ever laid eyes on - blue and translucent, with frightening ribs and ridges. At the top, the package cheerfully exclaimed ‘With thirteen settings from low to turbo for your pleasure!’

All around, it just screamed Hold on to your butt because this is going to hurt!

Kurt yelped, shoving the toy back in its box and reaching for another one. He sliced the box open quickly, not caring about the mess the packing material made on the carpet. He overlooked the invoice and pulled out the contents one at a time – another dildo, a vibrating butt plug, and about half a dozen mesh jock straps, each in a different color.

“What the heck!?”

For a second, Kurt entertained the idea that this was an elaborate prank by Blaine, but none of the items seemed his style – okay, maybe the studded leather collar, but not the testicle cuffs he found in the next box. No, none of this struck Kurt as anything Blaine would buy. So before he called his boyfriend and tried to come up with a subtle way of asking Did you purchase hundreds of dollars in sex toys recently with my credit card? he would try his claws out on HSN for possibly approving these purchases without his permission.

Kurt moved to the living room and sat down on the sofa with invoice in hand, ready to hand some poor customer service representative their ass. He entered the number into his cell phone and pressed send with all the righteous indignation he could muster, but immediately the number came up from his contacts with the name ‘Home Shopping Network’ already programmed in. Kurt immediately disconnected the call, confused as to why he would have this particular number programmed into his cell. He didn’t even own this iPhone when he’d made his last HSN purchase, so there’s no reason why it should be in there.

Out of curiosity, he checked his phone log, and his mouth dropped. Between the hours of ten-thirty p.m. and three a.m. he saw literally dozens of calls to the Home Shopping Network. Kurt’s heart started to pound. This had happened to him before during college when he took Ambien because he was so stressed out over finals he couldn’t sleep. He would make ‘Ambien purchases’, buying stuff while he was slightly conscious but loopy, not remembering a thing the next morning. Weeks later, he’d get boxes in the mail filled with the most asinine and random stuff, like a portrait of Marie Antoinette, and corkscrews in the shape of men posed in suggestive positions.

Kurt raced to the bedroom and tore through the remaining boxes, each one filled with dildos and vibrators, butt plugs of all shapes and sizes, and a variety of fetish-style clothing – ass-less chaps, mesh muscle shirts, chain halter tops, even a few pairs of liquid-look thigh high stockings.

“Oh dear God,” Kurt whimpered, holding up a string of extra-large anal beads in his shaking hands. “Oh dear sweet non-existent God!”

Beyond the trembling anal beads, Kurt realized he was standing amidst a mass of Styrofoam peanuts and sex paraphernalia. Panic stricken by the mess, he glanced over to the digital clock on the table by his side of the bed.

11:25

Blaine would be home soon, and believe it or not, this was not the kind of homecoming Kurt had planned. Yes, they had been dating for over a year now, and yes, Blaine had seen most of Kurt’s freak flags fly, but this … this was more than a flag.

This was a thirty-foot tall banner in flames!

It was going to be a little difficult to explain.

He had to clean this up tout de suite, but morbid curiosity drew him back to the living room and the flat-screen TV. Those calls were made between 10:30 and 3:00, which meant the program was on now.

What did HSN After Dark look like without the Ambien goggles?

Kurt sat on the sofa and reached for the remote. He switched on the TV and surprise of surprises, it was already on the HSN channel.

Suddenly, Kurt couldn’t remember the last time he had watched anything else. Even though his normal reality show line-up was a part of his nighttime routine, he simply couldn’t recall a single episode from the last week or so.

The segue screen had a black background filled with images of multi-colored vibrators, and in the foreground, a woman scantily clad in lace lingerie, with her head thrown back and her eyes shut, lips parted in a gasp of ecstasy. The words ‘HSN After Dark’ blinked in a neon-light font over the whole scene. That image slid away, cutting back to the program already in progress. After the current item up for sale - the ‘Perfect Positioning Pillow’ - dissolved into the background, a bubbly blonde woman in an incongruous baby pink pant suit came into view. She addressed the camera.

“So, that was sale number 150,000! That’s 150,000 of that item sold, so please call in now to get your own Perfect Positioning Pillow while supplies last.” The lady looked down at the gold watch on her wrist, and then beamed at the camera. “Well, it’s about 11:30,” she announced, smiling brightly with the insane look of a woman who’s been hawking useless products on late-night TV for far too long, “and that’s the time when HSN After Dark’s favorite repeat customer usually gives us a call. So, Mr. Kurt Hummel of Manhattan, New York, give us a ring! We’re waiting for you.”

Kurt leapt at the sound of his name, switching off the television and tossing the remote to the opposite end of the couch for good measure.

“Oh my God!” he muttered, putting his hands to his head and grabbing fistfuls of his hair. “Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God …”

This was a disaster! It was worse than that! It was a catastrophe! No, it was worse than even that. (What’s worse than a disaster and a catastrophe? he wondered. A disas-trophe? Was that a word?) Not only had he been sleep shopping and spending hundreds of dollars on raunchy sex toys from a cheesy, X-rated, after-hours home shopping show, they had just given him a shout-out on LIVE television!

How many people heard that? They had just sold 150,000 of those stupid pillows, so at least 150,000 people, right?

Shitshitshitshitshit!

“What if word gets out?” he argued with the empty air, needing to hear his thoughts out loud. “How many Kurt Hummels live in Manhattan, anyway? There has to be a few. They can’t automatically pin this on me. What are the odds? I mean, I’m a designer, about to be featured for the first time in Michael Kors’s New York Fashion Week Preview Show! I have a reputation to uphold! Why would I put all of that on the line by ohmyGodohmyGodohmyGodohmyGod!”

The reality of his situation began to cave in around him.

What if Isabelle found out?

Well, there he didn’t really have a problem. She’d probably laugh like a hyena for about four hours and then tell him that it was hot.

His mind backpedaled to the mess in the bedroom.

Blaine would be home any minute!

He needed to act quickly.

He needed to box up those God forsaken toys before Blaine got home.

He had to hide them, and send them back first thing in the morning. Then he could flush the rest of his Ambien down the toilet and forget this whole thing ever happened.

But first, he had to run to the bathroom and throw up.

It was amazing how long it took Kurt to empty his stomach, but with every heave that kept him from his plan of hiding his illicit purchases, he reassured himself that it would be fine, everything would be fine, and proved it by focusing on the memory of packaging 115 Christmas presents in 32 boxes a good fifteen minutes before the UPS man arrived during what was affectionately labeled ‘The Chrism-Apocalypse of 2013’.

By the time he was done vomiting, the overall plan was to just shove everything in the corner of the closet with a comforter over it until Blaine fell asleep, and then quietly dispose of it under the cover of darkness.

It would have worked, too. Kurt could have done that and been in the clear if Blaine’s plane hadn’t landed early, if the car service hadn’t been sitting at the curb waiting for him, if traffic hadn’t been light and they didn’t catch every green the moment they entered the city.

But luck was entirely on Blaine’s side.

Which meant, for Kurt, it was nowhere to be seen.

Kurt stumbled out of the bathroom, a little weak and woozy from being sick, and found Blaine grinning from ear to ear, looking through the contents of the boxes open on the bed and chuckling with each new revelation. He already had several of the vibrators, a few mesh jock straps, and a pair of leather shackles laid out on the mattress. He looked up as Kurt entered the room, holding a huge dildo covered in what the package described as ‘stimulating and massaging bumps’, a teasing and hungry glimmer in his gorgeous hazel eyes. Kurt stared at him, face pale, lips quivering, hands gripping on to the door jamb for dear life.

“Kurt,” Blaine sang with an eyebrow raised, “you’ve got some explaining to do.”

[akemilena]

SolidS Unit Song Series COLOR -WHITE-

Soliradi Special Mini mini Edition (ver. WHITE)

Drama || Translation index

Rikka: To all of SolidS’ fans: hello!

Tsubasa: All of SolidS’ members are delivering to all of you this live broadcast-style radio!

Dai: SolidS radio, also known as Soliradi…

Shiki: Special mini mini edition… it’s~ sta~rting~!!

Tsubasa: Yes! It’s here, it’s the time of Soliradi. Everyone in front of the radio: we meet again! I’m today’s main personality, Okui Tsubasa!

Rikka: Likewise, I’m Sera Rikka from SolidS. It’s finally the last episode of Soliradi mini mini edition. Let’s have fun until the end!

Dai: I’m Murase Dai from SolidS. Thanks to all the listeners’ support, I have the feeling I got used to the radio. Though I’m not used to the other member’s merriness. I’ll do my best and try not to lose.

Shiki: I’m SolidS’ producer and leader Takamura Shiki. Let’s have a lot of fun today tooo!

Dai: This is what I mean.

Rikka: The four of us together are SolidS! Please take care of us.

Tsubasa: Well! So after the introductions, let’s go for the explanation of Soliradi.

Shiki: In Soliradi, the members of SolidS become radio personalities and deliver this in public recordings and live broadcasts. It’s a heart-throbbing radio.

Rikka: From the messages and questions we received beforehand, our leader Shiki selects some. And while reading those, we answer them as much as we can. It’s that kind of radio.

Dai: While enjoying the interactions with the listeners, we also hope for you to know more about us, and continue supporting us. This radio has this kind of wish included, but…

Tsubasa: But?

Dai: … Won’t people think “this is different to what I imagined”?

Tsubasa: *bitter laugh* Well yeah, I can’t deny that. Like Shiki, or Shiki, or Shiki, or Shiki, or Shiki!!!! Doing whatever he wants!!! But, you know, Dai-chan? And the listeners too? It depends how you look at it.

Rikka: Yep, yep.

Tsubasa: Our super coolness as idols. And the friendliness behind it. You get to know both of them and enjoy the difference… well… you know, gap moe! Gap moe!

Shiki: You’re making me blush.

Tsubasa: I’m not charmed though.

Rikka: *laughs* I got to see Shiki when he has fun, and Tsubasa’s retorts and his reliability to make conversations advance, and Dai’s bare cuteness, so I like Soliradi.

Dai: It’s not like I’m cute.

Rikka: You’re cute!

Dai: I’m not.

Shiki: You’re cute!

Dai: Ugh… go to the next!!!

Tsubasa: Okay, okaaaay. Well then, let’s go with the messag-

Shiki: Question!

Tsubasa: O-ooh, what is it, why are you raising your hand? Erm, Shiki-kun?

Shiki: Usually, the one who reads the question is the one who the message is directed to. But this time, I’m thinking of changing the direction and make someone else read the question, as if it was an interview.

Rikka: Oh, that sounds fun!

Shiki: To accept the fans’ feels and make them bigger and stronger is our duty as idols. In exchange for the listeners, the other members convey their feelings. Read the messages properly while reflecting upon the importance of that.

Tsubasa: Mm, yeah, that’s fine, but I feel there’s something behind…

Shiki: Okay! Then, a message for Tsubasa, from Dai. This.

Dai: Eh, me? Uh… From Miki-san. “A question for Tsuu-kun. Tsuu-kun, you always look very energetic, but how do you change your mood when you get depressed? If you don’t mind, please tell us. I’ll be supporting you from now on too. … T-Tsuu-kun, I love you.”

Shiki: I… wanted Dai to say Tsuu-kun…

Tsubasa: Only because of that, right?! It’s really only because of it that you included all this pretense!!!!

Dai: Ngh…

Rikka: Dai is completely red. Good work.

Shiki: Come on, Tsubasa. The reply, the reply!

Tsubasa: Don’t “the reply, the reply” me! Tsk, but the message is not at fault. *clears throat* Um, Miki-san, thank you so much for the support. My way to change my mood, huh… Chatting, shopping, and walking around the city, I guess? Anyway, if I get shut in in my own world, I end up overthinking, you know… like, my mood gets even worse. I try to force myself to get out and interact with the outside world. When you’re depressed, I think there are times when you want people to leave you alone, but it’s okay to think “don���t leave me alone” too!

Rikka: Didn’t expect any less. Actually replying properly, that’s our Tsubasa. Excellent, excellent!

Tsubasa: Rikka is so healing~

Shiki: Well then, a message for Rikka, Tsubasa.

Tsubasa: Roger! Here, from Kono-san. “To Rikka-san, hello! It’s a bit sudden, but in Rikka-san’s solo song there’s the word “Cinderella” in the lyrics. If you could become a character from a fairy tale, which would you like to be?”

Dai: I was the only one who got the difficult message to read or what…

Rikka: *laughs* Thank you for your question. A character from a fairy tale, huh… I think I would like to become a wizard.

Tsubasa: Oooh! I think there are a lot of wizards everywhere, but which?

Rikka: The witch from The Little Mermaid.

Dai: A villain?

Rikka: I don’t think you can really call them that. That witch, originally, made true the wish of the little mermaid to become human, which was impossible. Even if it was with a lot of conditions. It was the little mermaid herself who chose a dangerous bet, and I think you can’t really call the witch “bad”. There’s no clear “good” or “bad”… I feel… it was just a person who could use magic.

Shiki: You admire that?

Rikka: Yep. I know it’s a bit rare, though.

Dai: Only a bit?

Rikka: *laughs* Maybe not a bit.

Shiki: Next, a question for me. Rikka.

Rikka: Okaaay~ Eh, here we have one from Boxer pants-san. “To Shiki-san. I’m studying music, but lately I can’t focus on practicing and I’m unmotivated. Please scold me.”

Shiki: Fight!!! Scooold!!

Tsubasa: That’s short!! You chose one you could finish quickly, right?! Tsk, as if I would let Shiki be the only one comfortable!! Where are the spares!! Er, around here?! Eh, here, from Hiyako-san. “Please give me a coffee.”

Shiki: A coffee for you!

Tsubasa: Here, from Tomato-san. “How can I draw well a gorilla?”

Shiki: Search for images of gorillas~! Let’s try to draw it while looking at them.

Tsubasa: Here, from Sute koinu-san. “Tell me a kind of broth other than oden that goes well with rice!”

Shiki: Ramen rice is good, too!

Tsubasa: No, the questions for you are all way too dry!! And have nothing to do with idols!!

Dai: If you’re going to put it on rice, salmon flakes and nori. Also, minced meat. I like to pour hot water over it.

Tsubasa: Dai-chan, you’re expanding that?! Uh, I like to put on canned whole tomatoes, throw cheese over it and make a risotto, though?!

Rikka: I like ochazuke with dried plum and salted konbu.

Shiki: This really shows our interests. If you have warm white rice with a meal, everyone is happy and energetic.

Tsubasa: Okaaay, again there’s nothing left of SolidS in this radio…!

Shiki: In that case, we’ll take back SolidS’ soul with the next message! Dai!!! From Rina-san. “Hello. Dai-chan, inside of SolidS, you’re the youngest child, right? I’m the oldest daughter so I don’t know, but tell us what’s difficult of being the youngest child. Also, I’d be happy if you tell us the good parts of it, too.”

Dai: Youngest child… well, age-wise I guess I’ll be that.

Tsubasa: Hmm… Age aside, personality-wise, I think the little brother position suits you too.

Shiki: That’s right. Dai is the younger brother type.

Dai: Uh… am I that unreliable?

Tsubasa: *laughs* No, no, you’re reliable too, and we’re depending on you! But not in that sense, I mean that you’re the type to be spoiled, not the one that spoils. You can also call in the teased position too~

Rikka: Yep yep. You’re the tallest, and your way of talking and personality are very calm. You’re cool but… there are times you suddenly show us your cute side, right? As seen from the outside, we end up wanting to look after you.

Shiki: Cool, but cute. Our pride and joy: our youngest child. That’s it.

Dai: What’s difficult is being teased by these three brocons like this, and being played by them.

Tsubasa: *laughs*

Dai: What’s good is… that while they tease me and play me, they teach me a lot of things, and make me grow up.

Rikka: Dai…! Yes, that’s true. We also learn a lot of things from you, and grow up, too.

Shiki: What a touching story!!

Tsubasa: Your intervention is ruining it though.

Rikka: Well, with this we’ve done one round?

Dai: It seems… we still have a bit of time.

Tsubasa: Okay, let’s read as many as we can! Here, from Saetaro-san. “If someone says, “let’s go on a date tomorrow!” where would you take them?” Hmm… let’s see, first of all to a café that has a super delicious morning menu, and have a great breakfast! And while eating, I’d like to decide where we go together.

Shiki: Hm. Like the meeting we always do on mornings.

Tsubasa: That’s totally different!!!

Rikka: Next, from Mira-san. “This CD’s colour is white, so what is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear ‘white’”? Hmm… a pure white shirt with a simple silhouette. It’s something you can wear with everything and go anywhere.

Dai: The fact that clothes is the first thing that comes to your mind is so like you.

Rikka: What’s the first thing that comes to your mind?

Dai: Uh… a fluffy futon?

Rikka: *laughs* Even if it’s also the bed, the fact that you didn’t say white sheets is very like you, and very cute.

Dai: From Batako-san. “The other day, Tsubasa exposed a secret episode from you, so this time I really want you to expose a secret from him too.” … Ah… While he was getting his make-up done, they gave him a magazine to kill time, and he was reading the fortune-telling page super focused.

Tsubasa: You reveal that here?? But that’s, you know, don’t you check to know what do you get? Like those where you add all the numbers of your birth date.

Dai: I have zero interest in it, so I won’t do it.

Tsubasa: You traitor~

Rikka: I understand. I end up checking it too.

Tsubasa: Rikka!!! My kindred soul!!!

Shiki: I don’t even have the chance to get magazines with features like that.

Tsubasa: You’re also reading documents or working during the free time while you get your make-up done, right?

Shiki: I have a slight interest in horoscopes, though. Wishing on a shining star…!

Tsubasa: Um, yeah. I’m sure even the stars are surprised about how the line and the energy and the appearance don’t match.

Shiki: Here, from Kino-san. “Speaking of Shiki-san, you always talk very passionately about your home town, Nagano Prefecture, so if you have any places we should go to if we visit Nagano, or any food recommendations, please tell us”. Okay, Nagano! The theme is Nagano. WELCOME TO LONG FIELD.

Dai: He’s more excited than ever.

Shiki: This is a personal opinion, so I’ll accept any objection. My recommended spots are Matsumoto Castle, Utsukushigahara’s starry sky, Suwa taisha. Aside from these, city sights are also fun, but I also want you to go to the suburbs by car, bus or train and see Nagano’s typical natural splendour. About food, soba is famous, and there are many restaurants so I’d almost want you to eat and compare them, but if you have time, I’d be happy if you try temaki sushi wrapped in bamboo grass, or sasazushi. Depending on the region, the ingredients are different, and those differences are fun, too.

Tsubasa: Hey Shiki, you’re talking even longer than when you talk about music!

Rikka: I guess it’s nice to love your homeland so much…

Tsubasa: Ah come on, let’s go to the next, next! Time-wise, maybe the last? Here, from Torihi-san. Thank you! “To everyone. Please say a line that will make girls skip a beat! Please!” Hey, at least the last one, let’s make it idol-like! I chose this one with this wish in mind.

Rikka: Tsubasa, you’re excellent!

Dai: I’m not good at this, okay… I do want to make people happy, though…

Shiki: Don’t worry, Dai. There are girls that have already skipped a beat with that line just now. Okaaay, I’ll do my best!!

Dai: That’s a huge flag.

Shiki: No, at the end I’ll do it seriously.

Rikka: “At the end”, he said.

Tsubasa: Okay then, I’m starting!

Thank you for listening until now. I had a lot of fun talking with you today. I want to see you again… we can meet again, right? While looking forward to that… tonight, dream about me, okay? It’s a promise. *kiss*

This was Okui Tsubasa from SolidS!

Rikka: The COLOR trilogy, dyed in many colours. And the special edition of Soliradi, is ending with this one. Thank you for staying with us until the end. When you’re tired, or you’re feeling sad, or in sleepless nights… if I could be by your side… Thinking that, I sing songs, and words, wishing that my feelings will reach you…

This was Sera Rikka!

Dai: The COLOR series, where I sang many different songs with the other members. It was fun. Thank you. I want to meet you again. I’ll believe we’ll meet again.

This was Murase Dai.

Shiki: And so, the unit song COLOR series, was completed. Red, black, white, I hoped you enjoyed the respective songs. Groping to show different individuality and amusement, the members sang with all their might the songs I made with all my might. I’m grateful, from the bottom of my heart, that I can deliver my songs to all of you. Well… a line that will make them skip a beat at the end…

It was fun, thank you.

Okay, good work! We’re going drinking, you guys!!

Tsubasa & Rikka & Dai: Yeah!!

Drama || Translation index

TL notes:

Nagano (長野) means, literally, long (長-い) field (野). Yes, I know. Yes, you can hit him.

I put some links to photos of the spots Shiki mentions so you can get a visual image. They all look beautiful, I want to go too ;_;

And with this CD, the second season is over!! Only a few more CDs to catch up~ thanks for reading!

[reminiscingdreamer]

Their Curious Case Through Discerning Eyes

Chapter 1: Introduction

Rating: G

Pairings: Oda Sakunosuke/Dazai Osamu

Words: 4,318

Warnings: None

Summary: Every member of the Agency was strange in one way or another, to put it nicely. Among them, Dazai was definitely the strangest. It was a bit baffling how he could be in a relationship with the Agency's most level-headed.

Notes: Considered to be in the same universe as The Title of Your Life.

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

You can also read this at http://archiveofourown.org/works/11769801/chapters/26533662

The urgent, hushed tone with which Dazai greeted him that morning wasn’t the best thing to wake up to. But after all the things Dazai did for him, the least he could do was help him in turn.

Atsushi’s grip tightened around his new cell phone as he grasped the handle of one of the dorm’s doors. He tried his best not to shake with nerves and to even out his breathing.

“Now… Open the door!”

“Dazai-san!” Atsushi cried, bursting in.

“Ya, Atsushi-kun,” Dazai greeted, waving the paw of the cat in his lap. His voice was too peppy to have seconds ago instructed him as though he was in danger.

Oda didn’t even flinch at his entrance despite being so close to the door when Atsushi barged in.

“Good morning. Come in and have breakfast.”

Atsushi’s face burned with embarrassment and he rushed to bow in clumsy apology.

“S-sorry! I’m so sorry!”

“Don’t worry about. Come in and sit,” Oda dismissed, scooping some rice into a bowl.

“T-then, o… ojamashimasu…”

Atsushi took off his shoes and tiptoed his way towards the low table like the tatami had bombs beneath it, wary of causing any more trouble. He didn’t want to so much as walk the wrong way after his rude arrival.

A broad smile spread across Dazai’s face as he watched Atsushi join him at the table

“Relax! Odasaku won’t bite,” he laughed as Atsushi gingerly lowered himself to sit.

“Um… Dazai-san,” Atsushi leaned towards Dazai and held a hand to the side of his mouth, “you said it was an emergency,” he hissed.

“It is to Odasaku,” Dazai hummed, using both the cat’s paws to gesture as he talked. “Your stick-like thinness, sickly paleness of a jellyfish—”

A jellyfish…

“—your pathetic kicked cat look—”

Pathetic kicked cat look?

“—not to mention you’re from an orphanage; it’s enough to give Odasaku heart palpitations, so of course he’ll make you breakfast!”

“Uh… huh…”

What did that mean?

A mouth-watering tray of food placed in front of him distracted Atsushi from Dazai. It was laden with rice, salmon, miso soup, steamed vegetables, dried seaweed, and a boiled egg.

He almost lost himself to the sight of a warm, delicious meal, the aroma sending him into a temporary fantasy about its taste. He snapped out of it when he remembered who gave him the meal in the first place.

“T-thank you!”

Oda nodded as he set another tray in front of Dazai. He made one more trip to the kitchen before sitting down with two pieces of toast and a cup of coffee.

“No need to thank me. It wasn’t any trouble.” He gestured to the tray. “I didn’t know what you liked, so I hope you don’t mind.”

“N-no! This is good! I’ve never had such a big breakfast before!” Atsushi assured, gazing at the rice bowl and remembering mornings when he’d only have that to eat if he was lucky. The worst days were when he didn’t get anything to eat at all.

Oda frowned and panic zipped through his chest.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I won’t touch anything except the rice! Or at least let me have the egg—”

“Atsushi.”

Atsushi stopped.

Oda’s voice was firm yet gentle, assuring him that he wasn’t angry and the tension leaked from Atsushi’s body.

“No one is going to deny you food. If you’re hungry, eat. If you’re not, don’t. But you’ll never go hungry again.”

Oda sounded so solemn and looked so serious as he said it that Atsushi felt himself believe those words.

He bit his lip to prevent the surge of emotions from manifesting as any more than a prickle of heat in his behind his eyes.

“Uwaah, Odasaku’s protective mode awoke,” Dazai giggled, stroking black fur.

“Wash your hands before you eat,” Oda told him, unfazed as he took a bite of toast.

“Yes, yes, whatever Odasaku says,” Dazai sighed, putting aside the black cat and standing up.

Atsushi’s choked on his spit when Dazai kissed the top of Oda’s head as he passed, winking at Atsushi as he went.

Atsushi stared after Dazai for a long moment, mouth gaping.

“What’s wrong? If you don’t like the food, I can make something else.”

Atsushi swiveled to Oda, who peered at him with a slight frown of worry and Atsushi shook his head vigorously.

“No! Everything’s fine! Itadakimasu!” Atsushi squeaked and buried himself in his breakfast.

Was that normal? Oda acted like it was, so it probably was. Still… He didn’t see anything. He didn’t see anything. He didn’t see anything!

“Oh! This is delicious!” he exclaimed with the first bite of fish.

“Once you finish breakfast, we’ll take you to the Agency,” Dazai said, breezing into the room again.

Atsushi’s stomach dropped, his appetite going along with it.

He put down his chopsticks and bowl.

He couldn’t bear to look them in the eye so he stared down at his hands instead, clutching the fabric of his pants.

“About that… Everyone, or at least, the private investigators; they’re all ability-users, right?”

“Yes,” Oda confirmed.

Atsushi worried his lip for a moment before quietly confessing, “I don’t think I can join.”

Dazai blinked, faintly surprised.

“But you’re gifted just fine.”

“Yes, I can turn into a tiger, but I can’t control that. That’s why…” Atsushi’s heart twisted, reluctant to say it, but he forced himself to anyway, “I don’t think I’ll be any use to the Agency.” He stood and bowed. “I’m sorry. I really appreciate the offer, though.”

He was so stupid. This was his chance to pick up his life, and the people were so kind to him. He didn’t want to reject them, but it wasn’t fair to them if he stayed. He didn’t want to be a burden.

“Hmm… So what’re you going to do from now on?” Dazai asked.

Atsushi straightened, forcing his mouth into a smile.

“I think I’ll look for a job I can actually do, though it won’t be easy to find.”

Dazai leaned forward, propping his chin in his hand.

“I have an idea for a potential job.”

The shot of surprise and hope shook Atsushi to the core.

“Really?”

Dazai smiled.

“Sure! I can help you get it, if you want.”

Atsushi beamed. Not all was lost then!

“Thank you so much!”

“Before that, you should finish eating,” Oda spoke up, sipping his coffee. “The food’s getting cold.”

“Ah, yes! Sorry.”

Atsushi sat back down.

“Dazai, don’t feed Soukoku your food,” Oda mumbled around his toast.

Dazai pouted and Atsushi tried to peek under the table as discreetly as he could. He didn’t see the cat, but he caught a glimpse of movement. How did Oda know without even looking? Maybe it’d become so routine that he could just tell? Did they live together?

The questions reeled through his head through breakfast and the clean-up afterwards.

As they headed out the door, Oda held out what seemed to be a small, rectangular box wrapped in green cloth.

“What’s this?” Atsushi asked, accepting the package and tilting it in his hands. No sound or movement came from it.

“Why, it’s bento, of course! Made with Odasaku’s love!” Dazai crowed, accepting his own bento.

“Eh? B-But you didn’t have to go through so much trouble just for me!” Atsushi protested.

“So you don’t want it? Then I’ll gladly take it,” Dazai said cheerfully, reaching for the bento.

Atsushi wrapped his arms protectively around his lunch and shook his head.

“No, that’s not what I meant! I mean, I’m very grateful to Oda-san for making this for me. Thank you.”

“Dazai, stop it,” Oda huffed, opening the door.

“Um… Didn’t Oda-san make one for himself?” Atsushi asked, noticing that Oda wasn’t carrying his own bento.

“Odasaku doesn’t usually cook for himself. Don’t worry about it,” Dazai dismissed, heading out the door as well.

Was that really alright? It left an uncomfortable feeling in Atsushi not being able to return the gesture of kindness. He resolved to repay this in some way someday, but when they met Kunikida on the street, all thoughts of lunch and recompense vanished for the moment.

The encounter with Port Mafia opened Atsushi’s eyes to the reality of his situation.

Of course, there was no way something as good as the Agency could happen to him. When was he going to wake up?

“Atsushi?”

Atsushi snapped out of his thoughts and looked up at Oda’s voice tinged with concern.

“O-Oda-san, hello.”

There was a slight furrow in his brow as Oda came up to his bedside and sat on the chair Kunikida had abandoned earlier.

“I heard what happened from Dazai. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine!” Atsushi assured, injecting as much cheer as he could. “You don’t have to worry about me.”

He sweated a little under Oda’s scrutiny, made worse by his unreadable expression. Still, he kept up the smile regardless, hoping to convince Oda that he was alright.

“I’m glad you’re okay.”

The sincerity rang clear even in Oda’s flat baritone.

“I… Uh…” Atsushi swallowed. “Thanks.”

He fidgeted with the blanket under the gap of conversation, the slight awkwardness jittering his fingers.

“Atsushi, was there something bothering you?”

Atsushi’s attention snapped back to Oda.

“Wha-What makes you say that?” he squeaked.

“After Kunikida left, you seemed troubled is all.”

Atsushi’s fingers curled into the blanket.

“Oh… Um…” He forced a laugh. “I’m fine, really. I guess I was just in a bit of shock.”

Oda regarded him for a moment and Atsushi knew he didn’t buy it. Nonetheless he said, “If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine. I know it’s not easy to open up to strangers, but I hope you’ll come to us if there’s anything troubling you.”

“N-No! Not at all! You’ve all been so nice…”

But there was no way he could talk to anyone about this. Atsushi didn’t want to be more of a problem than he already was.

“Alright. If you’re feeling better, why don’t you get dressed and join me in the office?”

“Okay.”

Oda brought his shoes and clothes over, folded into a neat pile, and handed them over.

Once Atsushi was dressed, he followed Oda out of the ward and back into the main office.

It was empty, for some reason.

“Um… Oda-san? Where is everyone?”

“They’re all out on their own errands. I’m the only one here right now,” Oda replied, going up to one of the desks and pulling out the seat. “For now, I’ll show you some of the work we do.”

Oda said that like Atsushi was staying, like it was only a matter of course to keep someone with a seven billion yen bounty around. How could it not matter?

But Atsushi didn’t know how to tell Oda these things so he stiffly made his way over and sat on the chair at Oda’s gesture.

Several minutes into his orientation, a distant but loud boom thundered from outside the window, sending a faint tremor through the room. Atsushi’s head snapped up in alarm.

“What was that?” he cried, jumping from his seat.

A thick cloud of black smoke bloomed over the buildings.

Oda frowned as he gazed at the plume of smoke.

“Most likely, it’s the mafia.”

Atsushi swiveled to Oda.

“The mafia?” he gasped. “The mafia was the one who did that?”

He knew he sounded strained but he couldn’t help it. What if the mafia decided to blow up the Agency too? No, it was too risky for him to continue to stay here. He had to leave. Now.

“Where are you going?” Oda questioned when Atsushi went to gather his bag.

“I’m sorry, Oda-san. I can’t stay here anymore. Thanks for taking care of me until now.”

“Why can’t you stay?”

Atsushi squeezed the strap of his bag in both hands as he turned to Oda.

“The mafia is after me. If I stay, I’ll put you all in danger!”

“Was this what you were worrying about earlier?” Oda asked, walking up to him.

There’s no use hiding it now.

“Yes,” Atsushi muttered, eyes cast towards the floor.

Movement caught the edge of his eye and Atsushi looked up in time to see Oda slowly reaching toward him.

For a flickering second, Atsushi wondered if he was going to hit him, but the hand settled gently on his head instead, startling him.

Oda’s hand was large and warm. It was the first time Atsushi experienced a gesture of affection in a way other than as an onlooker.

It was pleasant and Atsushi bathed in the feel of it. Nonetheless, a small part of him remained tense for the moment Oda’s fingers would curl in his hair and yank. Atsushi tried to quash it.

Oda wouldn’t do that. He fed him when he didn’t have to and he was trying to comfort him now. Oda wouldn’t do that.

“The mafia isn’t something to mess with, but the Agency is just as strong,” Oda said calmly.

“But the mafia is so much bigger and it’s powerful. How could you stand up to them?”

Just thinking of it made fear and unease grip him. He didn’t want to see someone as kind as Oda dead.

“Why don’t you stay a little longer and see what I mean?”

Everything in Atsushi still told him to flee and protect the people at the Agency, but a selfish corner of him urged him to stay.

Seeming to sense his hesitation, Oda said, “If you still want to leave, I won’t stop you, but what will you do once you’re on the run? Do you know how the mafia will move? Even if you evade them, how long will you run?”

“Forever if I have to,” Atsushi replied, determination steeling his voice.

“You might not mind that, but that’s not what I want for you.”

Atsushi’s heart stuttered, surprised.

Oda’s hand ruffled through his hair before retracting. Atsushi missed it, as childish as that was.

“Running away won’t solve this problem. Everyone in the Agency has the ability to protect themselves and each other, but you won’t know unless you see it. So will you stay?”

Atsushi still wasn’t sure. He wanted to believe in what Oda said, but he was too scared to hope.

“I…”

Footsteps soundeded against the floor and Ranpo strode in towards his desk from the direction of the office kitchen, sipping from a glass soda bottle.

Atsushi watched as he sat down with a satisfied sigh and peered into the neck of the bottle where the marble rattled around.

“U-um…”

The door to the medical ward opened and Yosano stepped out, stretching with a yawn.

“Ah, nothing like a good surgery. I see you’re helping the new kid around the office. Good for you, Odasaku-kun.”

Oda nodded in reply.

Yosano looked around the almost empty room and spotting Ranpo, headed over to chat.

Not long after, the entrance to the office opened and Kunikida walked in followed by a bouncing Kenji.

“Hi, Odasaku-san!” Kenji greeted with a wave. “And um… Atsushi was it? Hi!”

“Hello!” Atsushi greeted in turn with a small bow.

“Hello, Oda-san. Showing the brat around, huh?” Kunikida narrowed his eyes. “Hey brat, don’t give Oda-san any trouble. He’s a good worker who conforms to the ideal of hardworking and if he quits, no one’s going to be there to deal with that guy.”

There was no question about who Kunikida was referring to.

“So listen to whatever he says.”

“I will,” Atsushi promised.

Kunikida nodded in approval.

“Then I won’t keep you.”

He drifted over to Ranpo’s desk as well along with Kenji.

His opportunity to leave gone, Atsushi could only hold his breath and wait and pray that things would be okay.

Atsushi returned to his orientation with Oda, but he couldn’t concentrate on anything he told him no matter how hard he tried.

A short stretch of time passed before the door burst off its frame with a loud bang. A group of men in black suits crowded in, pointing machine guns at them.

Atsushi’s heart leapt to his throat.

The mafia was here! They were going to kill them all!

The old man at the front opened his mouth to speak and Atsushi only had time to call an aborted, “Wa—” before Oda shoved him to the floor.

From underneath his coat, Oda drew two guns and fired.

The men didn’t have a chance to react before their weapons were shot out of their hands.

Oda sped up to them, firing a few shots as he went. He knocked the first few men out as the rest of the mafia members began to get a grip of themselves.

He dodged out of the way of a knife swipe and disarmed the wielder with a sharp twist then buried his fist into the stomach of someone else.

Atsushi watched Oda fight in amazement.

“Heh, not taking any chances with Atsushi-kun around, huh?” Yosano noted in amusement, cracking her knuckles.

What did she mean?

“Hey, save some for us!” she continued on as she took down several men aiming for her.

Kenji ran after her in excited glee as though he was joining a game of ball at the park and not a fight with dangerous mafia members.

Ranpo rounded his desk and sat on its surface like it was a front row seat at the movie theater.

“It’s a good thing Oda-san was here this time. Those guns would’ve caused a lot of damage. Don’t they have any consideration?” Kunikida clucked, shaking his head. “Looks like we avoided the worst-case scenario.”

Seeing his look of disbelief, Kunikida scowled, casually flipping a charging mafia member over his shoulder.

“It costs money to fix, you know! And our budget isn’t infinite! Now help us wipe these guys out!”

Atsushi wasn’t sure what Kunikida expected him to do with no combat experience, but five minutes later, all the mafia members lay scattered about the office like human confetti.

“So what should we do with them, Kunikida-san?” Kenji asked, looking proud of his work.

“Throw them out the window,” Kunikida replied, clipped.

“Roger!”

Atsushi watched in dumbfounded awe as Kenji proceeded to drag the mafia members towards the window and do just that. In some ways, the Agency was scarier than the mafia.

Atsushi glanced at Oda.

He was right. The Agency was just as strong if not stronger.

Catching his eyes on him, Oda turned and said, “You’re part of the Agency now. You’re not alone.”

Not alone… Was this what it felt like to not be alone?

It wasn’t until he felt a hand ruffling his hair again that Atsushi realized he was crying.

Hot embarrassment raced up his chest and he turned away to wipe away the tears. The problem with doing that was he turned to the rest of the room instead.

“Is he crying?” Kunikida asked incredulously. “Why’re you crying? Did that scare you this much? You’ve already met with worse. Oda-san, you shouldn’t coddle him so much. How is he supposed to function in the real world like that?”

“It’s not about that!” Atsushi protested vehemently.

The elevator dinged while Kenji dragged the last man towards the window. He tossed him out tumbling down the side of the building as Dazai appeared in the door-less entryway.

“Odasaku! It’s lunchtime!” he sang, holding up a paper bag and a coffee cup. “I got you tea and pork cutlet sandwiches this time!”

“Dazai! Where were you?” Kunikida demanded with an irritated glare Dazai ignored as he swept inside.

“The café with that angelic beauty downstairs!” he replied gliding over to Oda and tugging him to his desk. “Now sit, sit. Time to eat!”

Kunikida muttered a few choice words under his breath but otherwise didn’t stop Dazai from pulling up a chair next to Oda with his bento.

“Oi brat, help me gather up those guns and then you can break for lunch.”

“Yes, sir!” Atsushi said, scrambling to obey.

“Careful not to shoot yourself! Or anything else, for that matter! If you do, you’ll be the one cleaning up and paying for it!”

Once Atsushi finished, he went to retrieve his lunch from his satchel while Kenji took the pile of guns and lifted them off somewhere.

He’d forgotten about his bento right up until that point.

Sitting in one of the chairs, he pried the lid open and stopped short.

Round rice balls shaped into pandas with seaweed, vegetables cut into flowers, tamagoyaki chicks, and two slices of apple rabbits. The bento was very… cute. It wasn’t what he’d expect someone as gruff-looking as Oda would make, even as kind-hearted as he was.

Atsushi looked up at Oda and Dazai sitting across the room in disbelief.

“Oh, Odasaku-kun made you a bento. How lucky of you, though I expect he’ll make one for you every day from now on.”

Atsushi craned his neck up to look at Yosano.

“Um… Yosano-sensei, was it?”

“Yes?”

“What do you mean by that?”

Yosano grinned.

“Odasaku-kun has a soft spot for children and orphans. So naturally when one shows up at the Agency’s door, he’ll get protective.”

Atsushi blinked in surprise.

“Oh.”

“Don’t expect us to go easy on you, though,” Kunikida said as he walked past.

“I wasn’t expecting that,” Atsushi muttered. He looked at his bento again.

If Oda was going to make lunch for him from now on, was he going to spend this much effort to make lunch this pretty every time? It wasn’t necessary for him to go so far for Atsushi, but he couldn’t say it wasn’t appreciated.

Yosano chuckled.

“This kind of bento is Odasaku-kun’s specialty now. He’s been doing this for Dazai for a while.”

“So Dazai was the one who asked for this?”

Somehow, it didn’t surprise Atsushi.

“Maybe, or Odasaku-kun decided to start on his own.” Yosano shrugged. “Either way, he’s gotten really good at it. Well, enjoy your lunch. I’m going to the café.”

Her heels clicked on the tile as she walked away, leaving Atsushi to his food.

He chanced another glance at Dazai and Oda, but he quickly turned away with a blush.

Dazai was feeding Oda food from his bento.

It was kind of embarrassing to watch. It was like he was some kind of voyeur and Atsushi beat a hasty retreat into the kitchen. Kunikida looked at him curiously as he entered.

He was glad he didn’t sit with them. How could Ranpo stand to stay in the same room?

“What’s wrong? Scurrying in here all of a sudden.”

“U-um…”

Would it be too rude to ask what Dazai and Oda’s relationship was?

“Dazai-san and Oda-san…”

Atsushi felt his cheeks heat up again.

“Oh, those two.” Kunikida scrunched his nose. “Yes, they’re together. I don’t know what Oda-san could see in someone as lazy, troublesome, and suicide-manic as Dazai, though.”

“I thought that might be the case,” Atsushi mumbled

He wondered how they got together. Oda was kind but stoic and Dazai was pretty smart but… weird. They seemed so different.

In any case, he should eat his lunch. It was almost a shame to eat something so artistic.

As expected, it was delicious. Atsushi finished every last bit in the kitchen before heading back to the main office.

By now, some of the office assistants have returned. None of them so much as gave a second glance to the missing door.

Atsushi closed his bento box and rewrapped it.

Oda was finishing up his lunch while Dazai appeared to be done with his already. Still, he remained by Oda’s side, chattering and rocking his chair tilted on its hind legs.

Seeing them sitting together as peacefully as they did that morning, Atsushi was struck by how a lot more… relaxed Dazai was around Oda. It was even more obvious when Atsushi thought of the way Dazai acted around Kunikida.

A lot of the time, Dazai was dramatic. He moved around in an exaggerated way with a lot of grand gestures. The way he talked was dramatic too.

But here, Dazai simply sat talking in low tones. It was as though all pretenses fell from his shoulders. He felt more open.

“Um, Oda-san?” Atsushi said, tentatively, unwilling to interrupt their time together and not sure if he even should.

Both their attention turned to him, Oda with a placid expression and Dazai with a broad smile.

“Thank you again for lunch. I came to give you back the box but, uh…” he scratched the back of his neck with nervous fingers, “do you want me to return it later?”

“It’s fine. I’ll take it,” Oda said, accepting the box. “If you have any requests for lunch, tell me and I’ll try my best to make it.”

“No, you’re already doing so much!” Atsushi cried, waving his hands. “I’ll be happy to eat anything you make me!”

“There’s no need to be shy,” Dazai chirruped. “Nothing will make Odasaku happier than filling up your skeletal frame.”

“I’m not that thin,” Atsushi protested with a huff.

“By the way,” Dazai continued on, ignoring his indignity, “we’re throwing you a welcome party at the end of the day, so don’t leave too early!”

Atsushi pointed to himself.

“For… For me?”

“Of course! Where’d you think all those office assistants went if not to get supplies?”

The mirth in Dazai’s voice made Atsushi feel a bit dumb.

“O-Oh.”

He flustered. He didn’t think his membership into the Agency was a big deal worth celebrating.

“You’re part of the Agency now,” Oda said. “It’s only natural.”

Was it possible to feel so happy and warm that he burst from it like a balloon?

“Thank you.”

His voice wobbled from trying to constrain the feeling of fullness in his chest.

Atsushi would make sure the Agency would never regret taking him on.

[dettiot]

Here's a prompt; Oliver orders a pink white wine to try (seeing that your enjoying a glass or two even three ;) and Felicity opts for a cranberry grape juice instead. But she's not pregnant! Wishing you a Happy Birthday again!

An unlikely heat wave had hit Star City, leaving its residents panting and suffering. Oliver found himself sweating through his suits, having to change his dress shirts halfway through the day because anytime he stepped outside, the heat was too intense. 

When he first came back from Lian Yu, he wouldn’t have even noticed a heat wave--or he would have suffered silently, accepting it as his lot. Now, though? He just wanted to find the coolest, wettest drink possible. 

“Felicity? I’m home,” he called out when he walked into their condo, loosening his tie and sliding off his jacket. He took a sniff of his dress shirt and sighed. He would definitely want to change before dinner. Maybe even shower. But first . . . 

“I’m in the kitchen!”

Perfect. He could kiss his wife and find something to drink. With a smile, Oliver walked over towards the large chef’s kitchen that was the reason they picked this condo when they had gotten married. 

“Hey!” Felicity said brightly, spoken like a woman who spent her time in ice-cold server rooms. She went up on her toes and kissed him lightly. “I’m making dinner. Blue Apron sent this salmon with dill pesto sauce.” 

“Sounds good,” Oliver said. He never would have guessed that Felicity would learn to cook, but something about the meal service let her figure out how to do it. Now they switched off cooking most nights of the week, saving dinners out for Fridays or when work kept one or both of them from eating together.

Opening the fridge and inspecting the contents, Oliver grinned when he saw what was chilling on the door. Taking the bottle of rose out, he went to where the wine glasses were stored.

“I can’t believe you drink pink wine,” Felicity teased him.

“It’s all Curtis’s fault,” Oliver said, pouring himself a healthy glass and putting the bottle back. “If he hadn’t brought that giant bottle to our housewarming, I would have never realized how good rose is.” 

“Hey, while you’re in there, could you get me the white cranberry juice?” 

Oliver looked at his wife curiously. Felicity might not be a big fan of rose, but there was a full bottle of white in the fridge, too. Plus, they always had a few bottles of red kicking around. So why did Felicity not want wine? 

Taking the jug of juice out of the fridge, he carried it over to the island and set it down. “Is everything okay?”

Felicity looked at him, a dab of something green on her cheek--probably from the pesto sauce. “What? Yes, of course. Why wouldn’t everything be okay? You’re home before eight, I’m feeling really good about dinner--you know how I love salmon--and it sounds like the heat wave is going to break tonight. After dinner, we should sit on the balcony and watch the storm.” 

Smiling softly, Oliver refilled her glass. “Felicity?” 

“Hmm?” she asked, mixing absent-minded and innocent in her non-answer.

Then, when she finally met his gaze and saw he wasn’t buying her answer, she deflated. “I . . . it’s going to sound silly.”

“You’re a genius. Nothing you say is silly,” Oliver said, reaching out to run his fingers through her ponytail.

“I . . .” Felicity took a deep breath. “I want to get pregnant. And I don’t want it to happen after I’ve drunk wine. I mean, I feel like that’s why it hasn’t happened yet, which has no basis in reality, I know. But we’ve been trying for three months now, and so far, nothing. So I thought . . . maybe it’s the wine.” 

For a long moment, Oliver gazed at Felicity, wondering if it was possible to love someone more than he loved her. Then, he picked up his glass of wine and carried it to the sink, pouring it out. 

When he came back over towards the island, he could see Felicity biting her lower lip, looking like she didn’t know whether to cry or coo. He smiled at her and picked up the juice, filling both their glasses. 

“It can’t hurt, can it?” he asked, holding up his wine glass now filled with white cranberry juice.

“Exactly,” Felicity said, raising her own glass to gently clink it against his.

They drank slowly, gazing into each other’s eyes. Oliver was pretty sure that cranberry juice wasn’t any better if you were trying to get pregnant--didn’t women drink it after getting a UTI because it helped kill the infection? That didn’t sound like it would help her get pregnant--but if that was what Felicity believed, he was willing to go all in on it. 

He was always ready to do whatever she did. Especially with a baby on the line.

End.

Send me prompts!

[punkscowardschampions]

Bea & Bronson

Bea: Hey Bronson: You don't have to Bea: I do, though Bea: it's important, your feelings are important, I acted otherwise, so you have to know that's not how it is, how I see things Bronson: Yours are too Bronson: I know you weren't seeing things clear last night Bronson: Call it forgotten Bea: Fuck that Bea: I know there's no forgetting Bea: and I know I've broken your trust and there's no getting it back Bea: but please, let me rebuild something Bea: I only did it because you're important to me Bronson: important in what way though Bronson: we aren't gonna be that Bea: No Bea: not like that, I don't want that Bea: I don't even want what I did, not really, I know that's just words when I did it but I swear to fucking God Bea: you're my best friend, my only friend, frankly Bea: it's a distancing thing...you know Bea: make you like him, put you in that box, that way I can see it as a good thing when I lose you Bea: but you don't deserve to be tarred with that brush, so I am, I'm really sorry Bronson: I've been around C & R long enough to see some fucked up boxes Bronson: and not walk off Bronson: I'm not doing that to you Bea: It probably won't be you Bea: that'd be me too Bea: I can't sustain shit Bea: I did the same to them, you know Bea: but they don't care so I didn't have to feel bad about it, got to be selfish Bronson: and they never bragged about it in my earshot...whoa Bronson: blessing or curse Bronson: I mean, if I was gonna, you'd get first dibs, but let's not make it weirder like Bea: Guess they give enough of a shit about you to not put that weird on you Bea: little did they know...ha Bronson: I mean they have made some offers over the years Bronson: But we were a lot younger Bronson: And the flashbacks only occur sometimes lol Bea: Didn't mean to add to the PTSD Bronson: You're off the christmas card list but you can still come for drinks Bronson: Nobody needs the newsletter and cringey family photo really Bea: Bron Bea: stop making it a joke if it ain't Bronson: I don't know how else to deal Bronson: You're not a club random Bea: You could tell me what you wanna tell them Bea: might help Bronson: I don't see it, you didn't have those motives Bea: Wanna violate my trust somehow Bea: hack me Bronson: Sure Bronson: Scope out that inbox Bea: go for it, serious Bea: #exposed Bronson: Am I gonna go further down the PTSD rabbit hole by catching sight of your nudes? Bronson: You can delete but they won't go Bea: I mean Bea: perhaps best to swerve my texts then Bea: uni emails Bea: ooh the scandal Bronson: Fix your grades while I'm there Bronson: 100 or nothing Bea: 🎯 Bea: Too good, you Bronson: Then, you'll owe me solidly, there's my angle Bronson: 👀 Bronson: Express your gratitude in a manner we won't have to run from and everything's normal again Bea: Anything you want Bea: WANT being the keyword there Bea: no funny business ever again Bronson: Swear on what you hold dearest Bronson: I can make those grades go down easy peasy Bea: Hmm, myself? Bronson: Those are my terms Bronson: 'Cause I can't stutter a no out don't mean a yes 😂 remember that going forward Bea: DON'T Bronson: too soon Bea: always too soon to be assaulting people Bronson: I'll stop smacking you with these punchlines in a minute like Bronson: Living with those two scallys too long Bronson: Not too soon to think about moving out Bea: You'd miss the mess you bless Bea: having your stuff knicked, constant undesirable and unknown visitors, all the noise and drama Bronson: I'll miss you if you do one after this botched reconciliation Bronson: You're my fave hot mess they ever brought back, Judes Bea: Don't make me cry Bea: this mascara is 22quid a pop Bronson: We'd be close to even Bronson: I'm worth at least that Bea: How rude of me to suggest otherwise Bea: but the foundation, the blush Bea: adding up Bronson: 💸 Bronson: Gotta get Ronaldo to teach you everything she knows about 🖐 discounts Bea: I think John Lewis would see her coming from a mile off, babe Bronson: There's a reason I have no fucking idea what one looks like inside Bea: like you're inside a upper middle class home but the bitch is also selling avon Bronson: 😂 Bronson: Take me there girl Bronson: I wanna see this Bea: Get you a pot of tea and a slice of something nice if you behave Bronson: I can be bought Bea: No judgment Bea: can't we all Bronson: Bring me coffee and all will be forgiven like Bronson: I've got the headache to end all 'em Bea: 😱 you? never! Bea: surprised you're not caning the red bulls already you animal Bronson: I would be if there was any left Bronson: hot commodity in this household Bea: 🤢 you are garbage people Bronson: You missed a trick not calling us monsters 😂 Bronson: It's early but you're a 🤓 Bea: I'm not gonna stoop to such levels Bea: any time of the day Bronson: Not gonna say your forgiveness depends on it Bea: Good Bea: not gonna change who I am, babe Bronson: Can't either Bea: Noted Bronson: But I'm not trying to change you, note that Bea: I know Bronson: Your man might Bronson: But I'm not going that deep into your inbox Bea: At least I don't have to tell him Bea: unless I drunkenly did Bea: bitch you better not have Bronson: I remember taking your phone at some point Bronson: If you're drunk enough to let me that's trouble Bea: 😬 Bea: Oh great Bronson: Get me his phone and it'll be like nothing ever happened Bea: idk if my skills of persuasion are gonna match his rage rn Bea: or pay for the first class postage Bronson: Quick trip to Ireland to buy my forgiveness and do some petty thievery could be a plan Bea: how is this for your forgiveness Bea: its entirely for me Bea: too pure Bronson: I need a- uh- Bronson: Guinness and Lucky Charms Bea: 😏 as cultured as I expected Bronson: Whoa there, I've seen that Leprechaun film with Rachel from Friends in it Bronson: Putting the cult in culture lol Bronson: 😂 Bea: Oh God Bea: 🤓 for all things trash Bronson: Blame the trash queen herself Bronson: A slut for shite horror Bea: I'll take great delight in telling her her Mum is just the same Bronson: Start saving for a headstone now I will Bea: she's gotta face facts some day Bronson: She'd sooner spite her face violently Bronson: We all know it Bea: 🤞 Bea: whaddya think I'm aiming for Bronson: Not to get Charlie about it but peas in a pod you two Bea: how dare you Bronson: face them faces, Judy baby Bea: Dick Bea: Now either way, I prove your point Bea: 😒 Bronson: You might be a smarty pants but I'm a smart arse like Bea: think of some witty retorts for Fraze then and go at it Bea: 'cos I can't face that yet Bronson: Time to build another fort and hide you in it Bea: gonna have to take up permanent residence at this fucking rate Bea: kick Tommy out of my old box room, that's not my graduate plan Bronson: Shack up with you like you're my actual missus Bronson: bedsits are very affordable Bronson: leave Fraze in the dust and forget the awkward convo looming Bea: Ha Bea: not exactly the plan either Bea: as much as I LOVE what you lads have done with the place 😽 Bronson: I'm not as house trained as poshos need theirs to be but not the pup they treat me like Bronson: We'd manage on our own, hun Bronson: love conquers all Bea: 💘 Bea: You're ridiculous Bronson: You need me Bronson: Too sensible by half Bea: 😏 Not gonna deny or accuse you of mixed messages BUT Bronson: Victim blaming isn't the way back into anyone's good books, love 😂 Bea: 🤷 Bea: don't want you to get the wrong idea Bronson: My ideas are fixed Bronson: No changing this mind Bea: that impenetrable firewall, I get it Bronson: Yeah Bea: Don't even be impressed by my nerd talk then, bitch Bronson: You can better Bronson: And we're trying to swerve pillow talk Bea: Look, I can't help being the best k Bronson: Back at you Bronson: Hard life being irresistible and unattainable like but I'm styling it out as effortless Bea: Ahh Bea: the one goal I can never reach Bronson: You're up there for me Bronson: If we stick together you've done it Bea: Safe to say I proved that I can't Bea: whore that I am Bronson: You're my whore Bronson: Stick around Bea: Who could say no? Bea: Such a charmer Bea: can't go in my inbox nevermind home anyway Bronson: Say the word and I'll clear it or pack a bag Bronson: Whichever Bea: Cheers, Bron Bea: what's the morning after without some drama to sort Bea: be at a loose end without it Bronson: Rather wipe your texts than clear up after the motley two Bronson: Disgusting Bea: Eurgh Bea: Don't even wanna think about them Bronson: How strong are the flashbacks? Bronson: I don't wanna think about that Bea: Why did you ask then 😂 Bronson: I'm a caring son of a bitch Bronson: And nosy Bea: Fair and fair Bea: wasn't that bad but not needing to repeat, is the answer Bea: but keep that on the DL Bea: not having them think I'M more repulsive than they are Bronson: I would but I feel like R's got that tattooed on her cause its such a legit review Bronson: Revolving door for her lack of repeat custom Bea: Well Bea: 'cept one Bronson: Let's not start Bronson: Enough of a headache without going there Bea: 2nd that Bronson: Onward to John Lewis Bronson: How much scandal can follow us around there realistically Bronson: We're well safe Bea: unlikely they're gonna want us to stock 'em up on overpriced knitwear Bronson: Trying to sell that on for anything but a loss would be an even worse headache Bronson: It's a no from me Bea: aw but you'd look adorable Bea: and sexless, more importantly Bronson: Would I though? Bronson: Or would I look quality in a bit of salmon pink Bronson: Trying to make me a target for the older crowd so I wouldn't turn you down next time, is it? Bea: 🤢🖕 Bea: nice bit of argyle Bea: golf chinos Bronson: 🏌 Bronson: a look Bea: if you wanna be some daddy's caddy Bronson: And risk taking Charlie's gig Bea: you know i know he knows he's past his prime Bronson: Yeah but I'm not trying to take his place in my mine Bea: Your loss booboo Bronson: Theirs Bronson: My daddy issues don't go that hard Bea: Worst luck Bronson: Like in the rankings I'm the worst horse to bet on if you want that action, dads Bronson: Pay my bills and get nothing back if that's your deal otherwise its a strike out Bea: save all this time I'm wasting on uni, eh Bronson: I haven't got a leg to stand on agreeing cause I'm still showing up myself Bronson: Half the time Bea: 👏 Bea: get you Bronson: someone's gotta show up to tell the rest to turn the computers off and on again Bronson: be a hero Bea: ⭐ for you Bronson: High five Bronson: We're killing it Bea: gotta slay in at least one area Bea: even if the rest is going to shit Bronson: I can't tell you not to feel bad about last night but I am Bea: I'm glad we're alright Bronson: You gotta get right by talking to freckles though Bronson: Rip off the plaster Bea: Yeah Bea: John Lewis first though, eh Bea: cheer myself with expensive crap when it all goes tits Bronson: Return it when the guilt kicks in Bronson: Easy fix for that fuck up Bea: If only everything had that 30-day return policy Bronson: We have to try on the most ridiculous shit they have Bronson: Guaranteed cheer up Bronson: Nothing's better than taking the piss outta me so I'm told Bea: 😂 sounds good Bea: though i can turn a look with anything Bronson: There she is Bronson: I'll meet you there but you have to walk in with me so I don't get trailed round the shop like the scum I come from Bea: wear your nicest hoodie please Bronson: Never dressing like a dosser when I'm meeting my lady Bea: so 😍 babe Bronson: Deffo

[insanemoonfish]

(tag) Wait, these are actually hella cute questions

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? ...I don't remember. I don't think I've ever held someone's hands for more than two seconds.

2. Are you outgoing or shy? Definitely shy. I wouldn't mind being reserved if I wasn't so damn awkward sometimes.

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? Nobody in particular. Maybe a future friend?

4. Are you easy to get along with? I think I am, and I try to be, but it's hard for me to get close to people.

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? I don't like anyone at the moment, and if I did I can only hope they would. I'm apparently not a good judge of character. *sprinkles salt*

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? Genuinely nice and intelligent people.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? I surely won’t.

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? The first to come to mind is one of my male childhood friends.

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Not if it isn't about me, about someone I know or about something particularly gross.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Can't remember. Such conversations rarely happen.

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? Do I really have to go check...

12. What are your 5 4 favorite songs right now? Not exactly favorites of right now as some I rarely listen to anymore. More like favorites of all time. M2U - gravity Rebecca Sugar - love like you Coldplay - every teardrop is a waterfall + a piano lullaby called Snow Heart.

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Hmm, I wonder. Some people did that to me a couple of times, but briefly because it was more out of curiosity than affection.

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? No.

15. What good thing happened this summer? Good and bad things happen all the time. Not avoiding the question at all...

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? No.

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? I believe not (damn you Fermi), but... logically... there should be? I hope there is.

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? I cut ties with them because I couldn't handle my emotions, simply put. Childish, I know, but it turned out for the best. They talk to me once in a blue moon these days, but we keep our distance.

19. Do you like bubble baths? I don't think I've ever got one but I'd love to.

20. Do you like your neighbors? Yes, they're quiet and keep to themselves. That's all I want them to be.

21. What are you bad habits? Biting my nails, overthinking, both overestimating and underestimating myself, sighing, misunderstanding or/and neglecting people, I could go on.

22. Where would you like to travel? Take me to the beach, please. Or to an amusement park.

23. Do you have trust issues? Trust Issues? Yes, that's me. Nice to meet you.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Going to bed, lol. Seriously though, just going to bed and indulging in that delicious false sense of security under the mattresses. Maybe read a bit on my phone. Forgetting time exists, not having to worry about a thing until I wake up...

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? My face. I think it looks perfectly fine, but it's a face I somehow don't identify with. I know that's weird - maybe I'm just not attached to it? Also, my expression awareness seems to be poor. People asked before what I'm happy about when I'm sad and vice-versa.

26. What do you do when you wake up? Remind myself of why I should get out of bed.

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? I wish I was less pale so people wouldn’t think I’m a vampire.

28. Who are you most comfortable around? My sister, because she manages to be even weirder than me.

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? No.

30. Do you ever want to get married? I'd like to, but I doubt it'll ever happen.

31. Is your hair long enough for a ponytail? Yes, my hair's quite long.

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? No threesomes for me, please. And I can't even name a celebrity from memory.

33. Spell your name with your chin. kikxdcklx... I hope you're happy.

34. Do you play sports? What sports? Nope. I like to swim though.

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? If you mean literal TV and not anything video related, this question is ridiculous. I'll take the music.

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Only one person. I had my reasons, okay?

37. What do you say during awkward silences? It's an awkward silence, so I say nothing. It's an endurance test my listener has to pass... Jk. I point out something hopefully interesting around us.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? Similar to that 'what turns you on' question. I'm not picky. If someone's truly trying their best to be a good person, they’ve already won me over, unless they have some serious character flaw.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Big stores that have a lot of everything and impersonal customer service.

40. What do you want to do after high school? I'm currently studying Biomedicine in college. I want to get into Biotechnology but I have to study math and chemistry on my own first.

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? I don't know. I'm inclined to say no, that the past repeats itself, but I have no evidence to the contrary. I think it's safe to say that not everyone, in the sense that their doing may have been too vile to be allowed repetition.

42. If you're being extremely quiet what does it mean? That I’m distracted, probably, though I could also be either comfortable or uncomfortable (how paradoxical!).

43. Do you smile at strangers? ...Sometimes. I wish I could keep a poker face at all times. It's easy to get a smile or scowl out of me.

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? Both would be amazing, but since the prospect of swimming around God knows what terrifies me, I'll take the space trip. For the no-gravity time, too.

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? Vague hope...

46. What are you paranoid about? People's intentions...

47. Have you ever been high? No, but I wish I knew what it feels like.

48. Have you ever been drunk? Not by much. I dislike the taste of alcohol and I suspect I'd dislike the consequences of over-drinking even more.

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? Not really? Though, to be frank, I hope nobody knows almost nothing of anything I do. I value my privacy.

50. What was the color of the last hoodie you wore? Plain black.

51. Ever wished you were someone else? Is there anyone rich and healthy around so I can steal their soul?

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? Hard question. We're talking about magic here, right? I'd like to magically be more knowledgeable. Omniscient if possible.

53. Favorite makeup brand? I spend almost nothing on makeup, so guess.

54. Favorite store? I have a cloth store in mind, but it's not that great.

55. Favorite blog? Maybe Wait But Why.

56. Favorite color? Blue, pink, gold, black and white.

57. Favorite food? Salmon sushi.

58. Last thing you ate? Instant ramen. I was craving it, okay? Leave me be.

59. First thing you ate this morning? Instant ramen. *hides*

60. Ever won a competition? For what? Chess and illustration when I was younger. They were just silly school competitions, though.

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? I can't say I was the most obedient or diligent student in middle and high school, but I never came close to being suspended… I think.

62. Been arrested? For what? Woah. Let's not.

63. Ever been in love? Probably not.

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? Well... Someone tricked me into doing it. I didn't really know what I was doing.

65. Are you hungry right now? Not much.

66. Do you like your Tumblr friends more than your real friends? They're all real and thus have the same value to me.

67. Facebook or Twitter? I don't use Twitter.

68. Twitter or Tumblr? I don't use Twitter.

69. Are you watching TV right now? Nope, not even listening to music.

70. Names of your best friends? I'd rather not without their permission, and I don’t plan on asking, so...

71. Craving something? What? Sushi...

72. What color are your towels? White. I hate colored towels, it’s hard to see if they’re wet or dirty.

72. How many pillows do you sleep with? One thin one.

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? No. I love plushies, it’s unfortunate I’m allergic to dust (and too lazy to wash them every week).

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? I donated all the ones I had as a child.

75. Favorite animal? Arctic foxes, aka the cutest creatures alive.

76. What color is your underwear? Lol! Black.

77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate all the way.

78. Favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate/hazelnut, bubblegum, and mint.

79. What color shirt are you wearing? Dark gray pajamas.

80. What color pants? Dark gray sweatpants.

81. Favorite TV show? I have only seriously watched The Big Bang Theory, Steven's Universe and House for now. Oh and Cosmos!

82. Favorite movie? Can't choose. Maybe that version of Frankenstein that came out in 2015. I really liked that movie for some reason.

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? Uh.

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? Uh.

85. Favorite character from Mean Girls? Uh.

86. Favorite character from Finding Nemo? Uh... I don't know.

87. First person you talked to today? My sister.

88. Last person you talked to today? That's impossible to answer right now.

89. Name a person you hate? Nope...

90. Name a person you love? My best friend.

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? Yes, haha.

92. In a fight with someone? Yep.

93. How many sweatpants do you have? Three.

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? Four or five. I love sweaters and hoodies, I don't have enough of them.

95. Last movie you watched? Can't remember.

96. Favorite actress? Don't care about that.

97. Favorite actor? Don't care about that.

98. Do you tan a lot? I stay in the sun quite often but my skin burns instead.

99. Have any pets? Two cats and one dog, all adopted.

100. How are you feeling? Oh, we don't ask that question around here. Please don't ask. Lol, jokes aside... I'm fine right now, but I'm also always worrying about, um, everything? Like, is there any way to really cope with life? As far as I know I'm a meaningless existence doomed to disappear ignorant of everything. I don't know how I should feel and the only thing that brings me comfort is believing nothing truly matters. Still, I’m working hard in the case there’s hope for us…

101. Do you type fast? Yes.

102. Do you regret anything from your past? Yes.

103. Can you spell well? If I am calm and think before speaking. Otherwise I'm as eloquent as an excited ten-year-old.

104. Do you miss anyone from your past? I miss how some people were back then, and my friendship with some others.

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? Yes, it's great.

106. Ever broken someone’s heart? I doubt it.

107. Have you ever been on a horse? Yes, my parents took me to ride some a couple of times.

108. What should you be doing? You got me! I should be studying.

109. Is something irritating you right now? Yes. I'm expecting a friend today, and her approaching visit time is making me nervous... I can't focus until she's here - actually, I'll be like this until she leaves.

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? It hurts? How exactly? Even if they reciprocate your feelings? Now that I understand the question, yes. Isn’t it interesting how your mind can make your body hurt? In those times somehow my throat aches more than my heart.

111. Do you have trust issues? This question again?

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? My mother. I broke down in the car after something really bad happened. It was a terrible year, I was dealing with suicidal thoughts, mild chronic pain, isolation, social anxiety, violent nightmares, and depression. And despite trying to stop crying immediately she told me to shut up! I'll never understand why she was that insensible. Maybe she was ignorant of my problems in a way I can't fathom because they were so obvious.

113. What was your childhood nickname? Isa, a short version of my first name.

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? I once traveled to a different state when I was 6.

115. Do you play the Wii? I would if I had one.

116. Are you listening to music right now? No.

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? No.

118. Do you like Chinese food? No.

119. Favorite book? Oh, this I definitely can't choose!

120. Are you afraid of the dark? Only in rational cases like walking by possibly dangerous streets. I actually find dark places comforting.

121. Are you mean? I try not to be.

122. Is cheating ever okay? I don't see how it could be.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean? Not in the least.

124. Do you believe in love at first sight? Only in attraction at first sight.

125. Do you believe in true love? I do. True, not selfless and/or unconditional love, okay? That'd be quite inhuman.

126. Are you currently bored? No, this is entertaining.

127. What makes you happy? Serotonin.

128. Would you change your name? I wouldn't care to change it.

129. What your zodiac sign? Leo.

130. Do you like the subway? When it's mostly empty, yes. It's pretty.

131. Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Screams internally as they'll probably rather leave me than return to the friend zone.

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? Didn't I already answer that?

133. Favorite lyrics right now? M2U - Gravity

134. Can you count to one million? Maybe in hell, that’d be a fitting task for such place.

135. Dumbest lie you ever told? I've always been a terrible liar. Once as a child, I told an obvious, cringe-worthy lie to my teacher thinking I was totally fooling her, don't recall what about. Good thing I at least noticed when she clearly didn't fall for it.

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? Closed.

137. How tall are you? ~1.60 cm.

138. Curly or straight hair? I love curly, messy and/or fluffy hair, but mine's straight.

139. Brunette or blonde? Brunette.

140. Summer or winter? Summer! I can't deal with this cold!

141. Night or day? Night at home, day outside. I have a love-hate relationship with daytime... Sometimes daylight makes me feel wonderful and energized and other times the brightness deeply irritates me.

142. Favorite month? November. I just like how it sounds, lol.

143. Are you a vegetarian? No.

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? Dark.

145. Tea or Coffee? Coffee, but only with milk.

146. Was today a good day? Yes! Though today just started.

147. Mars or Snickers? Neither?

148. What’s your favorite quote? Quotes!! I have a small collection of them that I love so much I made a post about it.

149. Do you believe in ghosts? No.

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? Yes, finally, I'll know the answer to Everything! *leaves in search of a book* I got a dictionary. High-contrast (alto-contraste; I'll translate): technique or process to eliminate, totally or partially, the middle tones in a photo or stamp.

[aromatickindling-blog]

Hmm, I’ll sort this out into the Stardew Valley Farmer as villager prompt with visuals and less words one day...

Green

Appearance:

    Green's an average sized young woman with minty hair tied up into a messy ponytail, part of her side swept bangs awning her sharp aquamarine eyes. If you're observant, you can see slight bags under eyes, covered with foundation powder to avoid questions from people. Her wardrobe's quite functional, filled with different boots for all occasions, thick working gloves, shade hats, winter fur caps, and cargo pants in different neutral colors, working well with her cotton button jackets. Her favorite happens to be the dark green formal jacket with a popped collar. The equipment she carries on her hip belt is well-taken care of, polished to the nines before being covered in all sorts of filth. She does have a strong liking for long scarves, goggles, and small, subtle hair pins, though.

    For some reason, her freckles tend to appear in curves and triangles; she has one that looks similar to Orion's Belt that she brings up as a conversation piece if she has to do small talk. Of course, she does take pains to cover up the scars she's gotten from her spelunking adventures in the mines and the Skull Dungeon. A Serpent pack left a particularly nasty one stretching down her left calf to her ankle. She prays to Yoba no one notices.

Summary:

    An ambivert erring on the side of introverted behavior, Green's the one of the twin grandchildren of Stardew Valley's previous farmer, come to take over Smaug farm. Thanks to years of neglect and her grandfather's 'brilliant' idea of staking land in a wilderness full of monsters, she's got her work cut out for her. Worse yet, with the Gotoran-Ferngill Republic conflict in full swing, she's especially reluctant to open up to anyone in the Valley. However, with the Adventurer's Guild and the Museum in town, she'll be able to settle in. Yet if anyone bothers getting to know her well enough, they might detect a hint of loneliness in her eyes.

At her Grandfather's grave, Green has planted an orange tree and told him:

    "If I can't see myself becoming part of the community here, Grandpa, I'll at least keep my part of the deal. I'll make sure the farm is up and running smoothly by the end of the second year. If the war continues...if Sage isn't back home here at that time, and I'm still unable to find someone I can trust here...I'll come after him. I'm sorry Grandpa, but I hope you can understand me on this. Mayor Lewis can take over the farm; it'll be a great source of revenue for Pelican Town...they'll need it more than I do. But thank you...for giving me an out from my former job. It was suffocating."

...For some reason, every Friday and Sunday Green never fails to greet the traveling cart merchant. Apparently, the two exchange letters; strangely, the writing doesn't match the merchant's personal chicken-scratch. After the bus has been repaired, you might even catch a glimpse of her with a strange bodyguard speaking about a "Mr. Qi." Who is this Mr. Qi, anyway?

Love: coffee, hazelnuts, goat cheese, poppy, fairy rose, dinosaur egg, all fossils and bone artifacts, duck feather, thunder egg, all soups, bone flute, mead

Likes: all flowers, all fruit, dried starfish, ornamental fan, ancient sword, fiddlehead fern, all dwarf scrolls, iron bar, copper bar, maple bar, lava eel, void salmon, honey, garlic, hot pepper, cloth, arrowhead, wine

 Dislikes: truffles, truffle oil (don't ask), super cucumber (once again, don't ask), beer, pale ale, morel mushroom (she's reminded of that one frog with all the holes in its back. And bot flies, the spawn of the underworld)

Hated: wicked statue, skull brazier, elvish jewelry, prehistoric hand axe, golden mask, Robin's axe

Personality:

    Green's the quiet observer of the twins, almost akin to a shade behind her brother's bombastic front. She's not the type to normally initiate conversation either, so only when she is required to, when she wants to give advice, or when she needs information will she, reluctantly, start one with a person. She's very polite about it too. But, you may have found her committing a social faux pas during the first year when she climbed on everyone's houses for a bird feather or little critter. Mayor Lewis chewed her out harshly for it. From then on out, it was only natural cliffs, rock faces, and trees she would climb onto, if not her own farm buildings.

    She is often found doing work on the farm, at the museum with Gunther, or training with Marlon at the Adventurer's Guild during the day, almost always with a cup of coffee and the occasional maple bar. Once Smaug farm is up and running, she does build a small training arena in front of the greenhouse. Don't ask why. When evening arrives, she disappears into the mountains and doesn't return home until 1:00 am in the morning. Some days may involve her leaving for Calico Desert early in the morning until 1:00 am. Shane often swears he would see blood leaking out of her when she was returning home at night. No one believes him thanks to how well Green dresses her wounds. This can only last so long with how she's burning the candle on both ends. On the weekends, no one is capable of tracking her down while she's out on her foraging hikes, much to her relief. Even better is during those evenings when everyone is at Gus's Saloon, when she can sneak into the Community Center to repair it with the Junimos before going home to refine sketches, put away gathered inventory, and generally wind down for the night with a tune from her harp, a nice hot soak, and a quick gaming session. Only on Sundays does she dare oversleep to offset the lack of it during the weekdays.

      Once more comfortable with people, she becomes more straightforward with her answers, although any questions regarding her family or her spelunking episodes are deflected or redirected to another topic. Outgoing villagers are more likely to get to this point. Snarky jokes will be made about the topic at hand, light teasing may occur if she is addressed directly, and, if it pops into her head, a few puns. Don't ask about her hikes or finds, she will become quite detailed with the scientific basis for everything she came across.

    Yoba help her if any of the single townsfolk become interested in her. Poor Green won't know what to do with herself, all her secrets might be spilled into the public square with that kind of relationship. What should she do now, how much of her activities should she cut back to spend time with them, what will they think of her once they find out what she's been trying to hide from the villagers, will their relatives approve of her, how long before they find out about her hiding her wounds from plain sight, do they like mint breath or coffee breath, are they allergic to poppies and fairy roses, will they mind her fossil collection, should she pick up cooking again, video game nights or movie nights, are they up for hiking, are they not okay with PDA, do they like cuddling, will they not mind her wrapping her arms around them as a greeting, do they like nuzzles, nape kisses, why her, and why are they even interested at all?! THESE ARE ALL IMPORTANT QUESTIONS...at least in her mind, they are. This is why she comes off as aloof, not only as a deterrent for anyone interested, but also as a result of her trying to strangle any feelings of affection that might develop for anyone else. Also, Yoba help the poor sap that does start to develop a crush on her; her lack of self-care and time during the weekdays is sure to wear on them.

    But, she is more than willing to make adjustments for them should they accept her, all of her. Green's probably going to ask them to come out to the beach at night near the solitary rock to spill her heritage as a half-Gotoran, half-Fergillan to them, mental escape routes calculating in her head but another part of her pleading this will be okay and she's just paranoid. From there, if accepted, she will tell about her brother and her parents, how Sage left for the army after a nasty spat with her regarding the Gotoran conflict, how her Gotoran Father died for helping the Ferngillan side, and how her Ferngillan Mother's MIA, probably in an underground resistance movement against the Gotoran government. She's only had her brother as a social crutch before he left, and it's the main reason why she bottled herself up. Why bother with people if all they're going to do is break your heart once you're close with them? But, she'll admit she was wrong, and then apologize for unloading all of this onto to them, and for not trusting them as much before. From there, she'll become more and more honest to them about her activities.

    The letters she was swapping with the merchant happened to be correspondences with her brother, usually curt and to the point. She makes it a priority to leave out any bitterness from his leaving her since he's in danger and needs all the help he can get. As for Mr. Qi...money is great and so is spelunking. That's all I'm going to say, other than it's a dangerous profession that has left her with a number of gashes...all of which she's refused to go to Harvey's for, much to her partner's dismay. As for the music drifting near the railroad tracks at night, it was her playing a couple tunes her father taught her on her mini-harp. She might even offer to serenade them from time to time.

    Despite her insecurities about herself, Green's quite the affectionate lover, offering sweet words in their ear, leaving small gifts for them after she visits their house, engaging in conversations more often with them, and giving out subtle public displays of affection, whether it be the joining of their hands, brushing their shoulders clean, a lingering look, or a soft caress on the back of their hand if they're slightly agitated. It's still quite confusing to her what to do and she'll hesitate early on about it, but she'll slowly ease into it...and wonder how the hell did this happen??? Then not care and nestle in close to them at night after pressing a kiss to their neck. Grandpa works wonders in keeping his grandchild in Stardew Valley. What a magnificent bastard he is.

Inventory:

·         Mini-harp

(You can hear the notes of a melody off near the mountaintops during the night, drifting down onto the railroad tracks...)

·         Obsidian knife

(A memento of her brother, before he left for Gotoro. Held closely to the hip, sometimes the chest whenever she thinks of him. It's as though the essence of the sea has imprinted onto this knife.)

·         Lava katana

(Can't go wrong with cauterizing deliberate wounds on monsters. Makes it less messy! Smells horrific...)

·         Herb satchel

(Most remedies have plant-based compounds to thank for their use. After trips to the mines or the Skull Dungeon, its strangely lighter. Smells strongly of mint.)

·         Pack

(Contains most essentials, from food to water to tools and, of course, a loaded first-aid kit. Got to be prepared for all sorts of insanity the spirits bring about when they're angry. For some reason, the pack smells of pine needles.)

·         Sketchbook

(Contains all sorts of colored sketches of landscapes, plants, monsters, rocks, animals, and even pressed flowers...wait...some of the villagers are sketched in here too? Has a light floral scent.)

[veriloquentmind]

Thank you @brbcrawlingtokorea​ for tagging me!! :D

Rules: Complete the survey and say who tagged you in the beginning. When you are finished you have to tag people to do this survey. Have fun and enjoy!!

Are you named after someone : My first name is from my great-grandmother and my second name is from my mom.

When is the last time you cried : Yesterday when I watched SOTU again lmao

Do you like your handwriting : Nope. 

What is your favorite lunch to eat : Filipino pork barbecue with rice (+ vinegar dipping sauce)  

Do you have kids: Not yet, but I’d like to have children in the future! 

If you were another person, would you be friends with you : Yeah, I think I (as another person) could be good friends with me :P

Do you use sarcasm: Yupp lol

Do you still have your tonsils : Yes

Would you bungee jump : Hmm...probably not because I have a fear of heights T_T

What is your favorite kind of cereal : Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Frosted Flakes

Do you untie your shoes when you take them off : Nope! I only tie the laces once after buying shoes and that’s it, I never untie them :P 

Do you think you’re a strong person : Not really

What is your favorite ice cream flavour : Sweet corn with cheese! It may sound weird, but I promise it tastes really good! I also love SuperKid ice cream from Laura Secord! 

What is the first thing you notice about people : There isn’t really just one thing that I notice first about people, it’s different for each person.

Red or pink : Red

What is the least favorite physical thing you like about yourself : My skin oTL 

What color pants and shoes are you wearing now : Red pj pants and slippers (are they even considered shoes though? lmao)

What was the last thing you ate : Salmon teriyaki onigiri and seaweed salad 

What are you listening to right now : EXO’s Run (I’m watching Exo’rdium in Japan)

If you were a crayon, what color would you be : Idk, orange? 

Favorite smell : My most fave scented candle is Cinnamon Sugared Doughnut, so I guess that’s my favourite smell.  

Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone : My dad

Favorite sport to watch : I don’t really watch sports, only when my friends or fam are watching.

Hair color : My natural hair colour is black, but right now it’s a mix of black, blonde, green, and blue hehehe

Eye color : Brown

Do you wear contacts : Nope. I tried before, but I ended up going back to just wearing my glasses. 

Favorite food to eat : Pretty much everything lmao XD

Scary movies or comedy : Scary movies!!! 

Last movie you watched : Princess Mononoke

What color of shirt are you wearing : Black with some blue, yellow, and pink

Summer or winter : Summer

Hugs or kisses : Both please!

What book are you currently reading : None right now, but I wanna start reading again.

Who do you miss right now : I miss my best friend because she’s been in the Philippines for the past month T_T 

What is on your mouse pad : I don’t use a mouse pad

What is the last TV program you watched : Grimm

What is the best sound : SUHO’S VOICE!!!! <333

Rolling Stones or The Beatles : The Beatles 

What is the furthest you have ever traveled? : To the Philippines, I believe. 

Do you have a special talent : I wish lol but nope

Where were you born : Philippines 

I’m tagging everyone/anyone who wants to do this fun survey! :))

[sadmudzines]

EEL IN THE BATHROOM - PART THREE

(Featured in The Salmons Vol 1)

INT. HALLWAY, OCEAN VIEW HOTEL – NIGHT

Earle knocks on the door to the bathroom but blushes when Dr Eel doesn’t reply.

Marge eyes him expectantly.

MARGE: Can we watch Inspector Morse now?

EARLE: In a minute-

MARGE: You said there’d be Pringles-

EARLE: There are.

Earle avoids eye contact to protect his lie.

MARGE: I’ve got a hankering.

Earle knocks louder, disappointed in the silence.

MARGE: I don’t need the toilet. I don’t go after 8pm. It’s a health thing.

Earle knocks desperately.  

EARLE: Dr Eel?

Earle goes to knock again when he eventually hears a grumbling noise. He jumps on it excitedly as it grows louder and louder until suddenly, silence.

DR EEL (OS): Come here or fuck there, I don’t care.

Earle breathes a sigh of relief that Dr Eel’s still there. He opens the door and nudges Marge inside but as he goes to follow him Dr Eel’s tail whips and the door slams shut.

Earle sweats, locked out, panic rising.

EARLE: Dr Eel? Marge?

Violent splashing.

EARLE: Everything okay in there?

Earle knocks tentatively. But no answer.

The splashing sound grows wilder, then screaming. Louder and louder screaming.

Earle panics. His knocking desperate. He’s shouting now.

EARLE: Dr Eel! Let me in!

No response. Just splashing and screaming.

EARLE: Marge? Marge! You alright in there?

The splashing and screaming zip silent. The silence sounds dangerous.

The bathroom door slowly creaks open.

Earle’s panting, scared to step inside.

Earle steps across the doorway. The once white walls now drip in red, glossy blood. Dr Eel and the multiplying fresh eels swim happily in the blood-dyed bath water.

Pieces of Marge scatter the bathroom, torn as if he was made of wet tissue paper. Earle whimpers when he spots Marge’s head. A frozen expression of fear and confusion on his dead face.

Earle can’t bear to look at it. He picks up a towel and gently lays it across what’s left of Marge.

EARLE: Mum’s going to be so mad… Why’d you do that for?

DR EEL: He just smelt so delicious. Like croissants.

EARLE: People will ask questions, what are we going to say? What are we going to do?  What a mess, what an awful, disgusting mess. I don’t-

Earle stops mid-sentence as he notices his white trainers are stained with blood.

EARLE: Oh. They were brand new…

The eels continue to slosh in the bathtub.

DR EEL: Go on then, go and get your sweeties. Same place as before.

Earle looks around at the bloody mess.

EARLE: I’m not really in the mood anymore-

DR EEL: But look at all this effort you went through.

EARLE: I know but-

DR EEL: It’s not often you get a night like this.

Earle scoffs.

DR EEL: It’s not often it’s just you, relaxing-

EARLE: With a fucking talking Eel.

DR EEL: Do it.

EARLE: Hmm…

DR EEL: I mean it, do it. Do it, there’s nothing else left to do.

EARLE: I really don’t feel like it anymore.

DR EEL: This isn’t an invite to a tea party. Snort the cocaine, Alice.

Dr Eel whips his tail. As it touches Earle’s skin, electric current zings through his skeleton. Earle howls in pain. His hairs on end.

Dr Eel raises his tail again as a threat. Earle jumps to the cotton wool pot. His hands shake in fear as he scrambles for the drugs.

Pinching the powder between his fingers he pushes it up each nostril. Desperately. He snorts and sniffs as chunks fall from his nose. White rings highlight the circles of his nostril holes.

He repeats until the bag empty. He slumps to the bloody floor once he’s inhaled it all.

DR EEL: Now, more.

EARLE: No more.

DR EEL: Another human, a prettier one. A skinnier one.

Earle shakes his head.

EARLE: No more, I just want to go to bed-

DR EEL: These are the final hours of the night. Aren’t you curious about what could happen? How much we could achieve?

EARLE: No.

DR EEL: That’s what you tell yourself now. But in the morning? When the memories are already made…

Earle softens, tempted. Dr Eel hisses in excitement at Earle’s change in heart.

DR EEL: One more human.

EARLE: There’s no-one who’s thin or pretty in Sugar-On-Sea.

DR EEL: Just thin, then. I can use my imagination…

EARLE: What are you going to do with them?

Dr Eel just hisses.

EARLE: I’d feel guilty about Marge if it wasn’t Marge. But another person… I don’t want you doing what you did to Marge.

DR EEL: One more human, one more line.

EARLE: But I don’t want one-

Dr Eel flicked his tail and electrocuted Earle. The flash created shadows from his bones, nerves and organs as if his skin was a silk screen for puppets.

The air smelt of burnt hair, his own. The electric current had singed his extremities including his fingertips. He didn’t want to leave the house, he meant it when he told Dr Eel there was no-one thinner, prettier and awake. Sugar-On-Sea drained the life from people and instead pumped them full of Trans fat and pessimism. It was a lost cause, but he couldn’t face Dr Eel. The shocks were becoming more painful as Dr Eel’s strength gained from the Fanta and blood. It made his bones vibrate, he never felt pain like it. He sank to the sofa, his hope catching a ride out on every exhale he took. His lungs were nearly empty of all air and feeling, his body as flat and flimsy as a pair of tights. He tried to concentrate, but his head swam; neurons darting in directions as a school of fish at a junction. He thought if he could brace himself, go back into the bathroom and tell Dr Eel no – as confidently as the women who reject him weekend in and out– then it would be all be okay. Just as he was to make the long walk back to the bathroom; something stopped him. A book on the shelf. Sugar-On-Sea still published the yellow pages. A mistrust of the internet in this town gave way for long lost relics to still have a functioning place in society such as phone boxes and Marks & Spencer’s.

This edition of the yellow pages was a few years old, Mr Salmon liked 1988 so he tried to hold onto as many things from that year. It was Earle’s last and only shot.

The town’s council had a surprisingly progressive stance on sex work; prostitution was legal and the strip club was more like a town hall than… well, a strip club. But really, to Earle, it was just a veiled attempt for the council men to cheat on their wives in the name of feminism and freedom.

Earle flicked through the yellow pages and came to the section he needed; whores. The council really had a way with words. He ran his finger down the listing from the Angelas through to the Bettys and then to the Catherines. He stopped on one, Daphne. Her shoulders were sharp points, her soft skin fell dramatically from cheek bones which could only have been achieved by a decent few years of an eating disorder. Thin, yes. Pretty, sort of. The decider was her foreign surname; at least if she was to end up on the floor of his bathroom, like a macabre pick and mix, then maybe it best if she didn’t have any family in the area, no-one would miss her – at least not in a one hundred-mile radius. Earle rang and to his surprise she answered straight away. His heart sunk a little as he heard a thick Essex accent. But it was late, and he just wanted this whole horrible ordeal to be over and done with. He imagined her pink lip stick smudging the other end of the retriever.  

He told himself if he managed to clear up all the blood and Fanta and Class A’s by morning. It would be okay to stay up a little later and do one last deed for Dr Eel.

INT. FRONT ROOM, OCEAN VIEW HOTEL – NIGHT

Earle nervously scratched the back of his head.

DAPHNE (O.S): 5am? Make it 4am – gotta get the kids to school.

EARLE: Kids?

DAPHNE (O.S): I don’t know what you’re thinking you dirty pervert but-

EARLE: No, no. That’s not what I… I just didn’t think about them, about you having to be somewhere in the morning-

DAPHNE (O.S): I’m a real person, you know that right?  Got jobs on my list that don’t start with blow. Got it?

EARLE: Yes…

Earle’s face drops, the guilt almost weighing down the skin around his eye sockets.

DAPHNE (O.S): Looking forward to it… What’s your name?

EARLE (sadly): Cunt-Fuck.

DAPHNE (O.S): Is that German?

EARLE: Sure.

Earle puts down the receiver. He sniffs and wipes his nose.

Thumping electronic music sounds from inside the bathroom.

EARLE: Dr Eel! The Neighbours, please-

The music is nudged louder.

Earle rests his head against the wood of the door, weary.

The purple light of dawn seeps through the window, intensifying with every minute.

The doorbell rings. Earle’s paralyzed.

The doorbell rings again, but this time the ringing is sustained.  

Earle goes to duck and hide but is too late.

DAPHNE (O.S): I can see you in there! I’m not swapping my jammies for corsets for no money.

The door shakes as it’s banged.

Earle answers the door.

DAPHNE (58) stands on the other side. Older and fatter than her picture.

She barges past.

DAPHNE: What the fuck was that about? Told you I didn’t have the time for games. That’s extra.

Earle stares at the picture in the yellow pages. Looking up and down to persuade himself it’s the right woman. Daphne catches him.

DAPHNE: After the 80s, came the 90s and this is what they did me. Like I said I ain’t got all night.

Daphne drops her coat to reveal her body, like raw sausage meat poking through a complex of leather straps and fishnets. Earle grimaces but Daphne steels.

DAPHNE: Money. Now.

Earle scrambles for the cash.

DAPHNE: Actually, I’m desperate for a wizz. Back in a min-

Daphne turns to go to the bathroom but Earle goes green.

EARLE: Wait!

DAPHNE: I can piss on you, but that’ll be £30 on top of what we’ve agreed.

Earle’s thinks about it.

EARLE: Really?

Daphne takes another step closer to the bathroom.

EARLE: No, stop!

Guilt overcomes him.

EARLE: I can’t do this-

DAPHNE: You called me, remember?

EARLE: I’m not, I-

Daphne laughs as Earle squirms.

EARLE: What I’m about to tell you is… I just need you to believe me. It’s weird, I don’t really believe it myself but-

DAPHNE: Spit it out.

EARLE: There’s an eel. A talking one. In there. And I think it wants to chop you up. I told him no but he wouldn’t take it. He said to bring you here and-

DAPHNE: You were going to feed me to at talking fucking eel?

EARLE: Not feed, I’m not really sure what he wants. I think he likes blood or maybe organs I’m not really sure.

Daphne lights up a cigarette.

DAPHNE: I knew you were into some sick fucking stuff, but this?

EARLE: I was hoping he wouldn’t eat you.

DAPHNE: Where is he?

Earle nods solemnly to the bathroom.

Daphne sighs knowingly.

DAPHNE: £40 now then £40 after.

EARLE: I’m feeling quite vulnerable right now, I’m not sure I could… perform as I’d like-

DAPHNE: I’m not going to fuck you.

Daphne gestures to the bathroom door.

DAPHNE: I’ve seen this before.

EARLE: Oh.

DAPHNE: I should have known by the way you were chewing the inside of your cheek.

Earle claps his hand across his mouth, feeling for himself just how tight his jaw is.

DAPHNE: I need rubber gloves, a bread knife and salt.

Earle stares in disbelief.

DAPHNE: Now.

Earle scrambles for the items in the kitchen.

Daphne lights another fag.

DAPHNE: Nice place…

She picks up a family photo from the side and snorts.

DAPHNE: You a Salmon?

The sound of Earle clattering around from the other room.

EARLE (O.S): Yeah, why?

DAPHNE (mutters): Like father, like son.

Earle returns triumphantly. Daphne swipes the items from his arms and pockets the £40 into the leather strap of her girdle. She pings the plastic gloves onto her hands as if a vet would at the rear end of cow.

Earle watches as she marches towards the bathroom. Naked aside from her bondage.

Earle winces as he sees her stub her cigarette out on the carpet. Daphne bashes the door down with her hoof-like foot. Earle goes to follow but she slams the door shut.

A high-pitched squeal ruminates from the bathroom.

Earle can’t bear to hear it.

The sound of water thrashing. It lasts forever to Earle’s ears.

Daphne eventually emerges from the bathroom holding the decapitated head of Dr Eel. It’s as if a bucket of blood had been poured over head. She coolly slicks her hair back and scoops the blood from her eyes. Two pearl-like peepers peer back through the ruby gloop.

She lights a cigarette. Breathing in the smoke with resolve.

She holds out the palm of her hand and a shaken Earle places £40 within it.

DAPHNE: Let me know what to expect next time. I wouldn’t have worn this.

Daphne dumps Dr Eel’s head next to Earle and leaves without another word.

Earle slumps to the floor, weary and broken. Stunned.

His eyes heavy, he falls into a deep sleep.

INT. FRONT ROOM, OCEAN VIEW HOTEL – MORNING

Hungover, Earle remains collapsed against the wall. The room is blood-stained. Dr Eel’s chopped head next to him. The end credits of Inspector Morse speed downwards on the TV.

The sound of the front door opening and closing. There’s footsteps for a few moments until suddenly they stop. A startling scream pierces the house.

Earle bolts awake. The force almost makes him sick.

EARLE: Shit, shit, shit-

MRS SALMON (59) appears from around the corner. Furious, she stands over Earle.

MRS SALMON: Have you seen the state of that bathroom?

EARLE: I’m sorry, mum.

Mrs Salmon burns red.

MRS SALMON: You’ve been doing drugs again, haven’t you?

Earle hangs his head in shame.

MRS SALMON: I told you, no drugs!

Earle goes to open his mouth but no words come out. She knows when he’s lying.

MRS SALMON: You haven’t even bothered to wipe the tiles.

Mrs Salmon storms from the room.

Earle is left alone, a naughty and sad little boy.

Mrs Salmon caught Earle a couple of times a year in his early twenties. He did it because it felt good – for a while anyway – a pursuit of pure, selfish pleasure where the dopamine hit was only equalled by online shopping and not much else.