#everything in one place and all :P
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“This is a warning for Kray Foresight - free all captive Burnish immediately, or I’ll burn Promepolis to the ground!”
Many hours, layers, micromanaged bg assets, and egregious amounts of colorpicking later, it is finally done //passes out
As soon as I watched Promare I was legally obligated to draw the dragon.
Please do not reupload without permission!
(Very ramble-y) process notes and wips below the cut:
[[Shoutout to Tamberella’s wonderful city brushset, the bg would not have been possible otherwise!]]
I had to cross-reference so many stills and gifs from the movie in order to try and recreate the atmosphere and style XD This whole drawing was also the perfect excuse to whip out the polyline tool again, it’s one of my favorite things to draw with but I don’t actually use it much for...some reason lmao. Habit? Who knows...
As you can see, it was initially supposed to include his lil arms, but I couldn’t find a way to make them flow well with his line of action and had to exclude them (which was a bit painful as I was really happy with how the claw shapes turned out). I figured since the film seems to cheat it the same way, it was fine for me to do it as well XD Though I don’t have a capture of it, originally his body was also in a more straightforward loop-de-loop kind of shape.
I wanted to put special focus into the pose and sense of action (two things Trigger really excels at), namely when it came to the head and jaws. I noticed that in a couple of shots the dragon’s jaw is “broken” - opened at an unrealistically wide angle - to better emphasize the action, and while I didn’t take it as far as Trigger did I wanted to try and capture something similar in my own way.
The windows required SO much micromanaging. I blocked out a “template” of windows using one of the brushes in the mentioned set, grid-warped it to align with the perspective, and then copy-pasted it onto each building and then manually went through each one to make sure every patterns of “lit” windows was unique and felt believable. The process had to be repeated twice, for both visible sides of the buildings. As far as individual parts of the pic go, that step probably took the longest.
I also really wanted to somehow incorporate triangles into the drawing since they’re so representative of the Burnish and the Promare, and adding some around the face seemed the most intuitive way to do it.
A lot of miscellaneous things were added at this point, such as the ground flares (polyline tool my beloved), the smoke, and smaller details like making sure the dragon felt more “sourced” in the scene by clipping the tail behind a tower. The background was also blurred, to help sell the perspective as well as keep the focus on Lio. The flares were one of the hardest things to manage in the latter regard, too, as due to some oversights in my initial color choices they were actually brighter than Lio and stole his thunder! So it took several different tries to find a way to successfully de-emphasize them without inadvertently making them some weird sickly color XD
If you read through all of these notes, thank you so much, I love you!! //hands you a cookie
Bonus layer screenshot:
#reupload#personal fav#promare#if you were one of the people who reblogged or liked the original THANK YOU!!#it meant so much to me you have no idea!#and if you ARE seeing this again in the tags please pardon the dust of reuploading it here too XD#I just still like this one a lot so I wanted to bring it to my new art blog as well#everything in one place and all :P
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mind can rarely crack his joints bc his bones are metal and whatever and usually run pretty smoothly. but on the rare occasion that he can crack them. it sounds like the entire house is being torn apart by fireworks and violent explosions. his back snaps like a godsamn whip and his neck cracks so hard it's a surprise he didn't break his own spine. every single joint in his body will pop louder than anyone in the house has ever yelled, without fail.
he'll always make sure to do this in direct vicinity of both heart and soul because as he rearranges his internal structures they will stare on in sheer, absolute horror, especially considering that once he's done, he just continues on with his task as if it never happened and as if every atom in his body hasn't been split in two
Headcanon #632
#chonny jash#submission#cj mind#chonnys charming chaos compendium#okay canon to me#maybe more soul since i connect him to the bones but either way ONE of these mfs do this#why? 1. its funny 2. i am the same way#one time in school. i was taking a computer class & it was dead silent in the room. i pop my neck & shoulder which made a hella loud noise#this poor girl next to me just turned and was like “are you okay????? did you just like snap youre neck????”#idk why they can pop so loudly for some but mine do as well#i can see all of them having smth like this#speedrun list time#heart: almost constantly pops or cracks their knuckles. never really loud but just frequently [kinda how he fidgets sometimes]#mind: this post#soul: 1. doesn't rlly like the sound it makes. makes him uneasy or uncomfy 2. mainly his hands n wrists pop a lot. semi painfully too#whole. why not: Mainly just his shoulders & spine#sits down in the same place for too long a lot so his entire back just sounds like pop rocks.#not as loud as minds but still p loud & takes like 5-8 minutes to fully crack everything in his back n shoulders
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proper reupload in the high quality this fantastic segment so deserves; eagle pig and duck bias notwithstanding, this will forever be my favorite variant of the fabled switcheroo (and a reminder that Daffy was first at his own game!) the committal on behalf of both characters--especially the sincerity of Daffy's feigned sincerity--really sets it apart
#that delivery of “don't you believe i'm a fish?” sounds so hurt and it's perfect#likewise i think there are few one-liners/toppers that make me laugh as much as 'i told ya i was a pig'#and that all knowing glance at the audience from Daffy doesn't feel obnoxiously smarmy or self aware#there's a friendly nonchalance to it. a very clear amusement and not in a way that undermines anything this segment is setting out to achie#again. my favorite buzzword: that sincerity! a sincere investment and amusement in watching Porky obliviously and endearingly make an ass#out of himself#and of course the cross dissolve and setup of the composition implying a story/sequence of events taking place within that time...#this short isn't my favorite P+D short--i still LOVE IT A TON but there are so many i revere--but i think it's one of the most definitive#if someone was looking to get a good understanding on their character dynamic this would be one of my immediate recommendations#i haven't had the bandwidth to spread my pig and duck gospel but please#watch Porky and Daffy cartoons#tangential but i've always loved the sound effect Treg Brown uses for Porky dropping the gun#good exaggeration/whimsy while also connoting Porky's stubbornness and that this stupid petty argument is enough for him to lose sight of#his motives and discard his murder weapon. all because of this joyously stupid argument. so i like the self awareness there with how obtuse#the sound effects are#because anyone who is not Porky Pig would have just shot him point blank#and that is everything i love about their dynamic and how Daffy's intoxicating charisma and ability to get people invested even affects the#very characters on screen#gee d'you think i ought to have said more about this scene#lt#duck soup to nuts#freleng#vid
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My craziest flex rn is that irl I have a rly rly weird name (not usually sm I flex but bear with me 😭) that isn’t English and i recently (3 minutes ago) discovered a shrine in breath of the wild WITH MY NAME HAHA REBLOG IF UR IN ZELDA MFERS 🫵😂
#can you tell I’ve been playing a lot of breath of the wild#not my usual fandoms but I had to#smd all of you they named a place in Zelda after me 😌#also yes OBVIOUSLY I was born way before botw came out (or was even in dev)#this is. not that much of a flex#one of my irls has the same name as one of the regions 😭#but I really have to emphasize how weird and uncommon my name is like genuinely#they got the spelling and everything too#I know p much no one w my name but IM IN BOTW LMAO#loz#legend of zelda#loz botw#botw#breath of the wild#breath of the wild shrines
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Finally made a Parapluesch OC, introducing Mama Oz ♥ (Patreon)
#Doodles#Parapluesch#Do I need to tag all of them? I don't want to so I won't lol#I can tag my original I guess :P#Mama Oz#She's based on this absolutely ridiculous and darling object I found at the same place I got my new-to-me video games haha#So apparently in the 60s this specific type of - magazine rack? in the shape of a kangaroo?? was made??#Ridiculous. So ostentatious. I fell in love immediately and had to make her into a Parapluesch#Like as soon as I laid eyes on her standing there I was like ''Oh you're from Die Anstalt'' - Instantly started filling in her backstory#Mama Oz's deal is your classic Stages of Grief - in her case from losing a child#Since she's a plush she never had an actual baby but she lost Her Child if you get me - she stopped being played with#And so she projects that grief onto others and adopts them in an attempt to get Her Child back#Except if this new relationship isn't within that framework then she rejects it and goes to the next one#She doesn't really realize that she's inconveniencing them by trying to adopt them and limiting herself from forming lasting connections#Not allowing change or growth - stagnating and trying to reclaim something lost#One of my favourite parts of Die Anstalt is that each of them is shown to have flaws#They still need and are deserving of help! But their uglier symptoms aren't shied away from#Dolly and Lilo use self-harm as a coping mechanism#Sly is shown to seek out the high at times and be short and destructive#Dub takes pride in his overwork#Kroko is surly and prickly#Don't even get me started on Dr. Wood lol#So it's fun to imagine what Mama Oz would be doing to - even by accident! - harm herself or others#The whole point of helping them is for them to become their best most comfortable selves :D#I also think what's especially funny is that I've been Meaning to make a Parapluesch OC for /years/ now#I always planned for it to be a Gender Dysphoria diagnosis since that's in the DSM and I had a design and route planned and everything#No. Kangaroo magazine rack. Okay#Lol
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Finally got around drawing Aioros :D
#saint seiya#saint seiya fanart#los caballeros del zodiaco#sagittarius aiolos#I remember reading somewhere (either a post or some wiki page idk) how aioros is often revered as the perfect saint an almost divine figure#and I’m pretty sure aioros initially refutes being the next pope saying saga would be a better fit (it’s 4am so correct me if I’m wrong)#anyway I watched some of kotz for fun and saw that scene. he seemed rather upset at the news but a sense of distress I can’t really describ#even when keeping in mind that he was only 14 I don’t think it was the responsibility that comes with being a gold saint/pope successor#but more combining the first bit of being highly viewed. he seems like a rather humble guy who’s rather content with risking his life#or has at least excepted that fact. but when seem as more than a simple soldier it makes him uneasy. because he knows he’s not a god#yet is put in such position that when adding his sacrifice at an early age he’s practically legend. and despite the initial denial he will#always be obedient enough to accept the duty placed upon him. this is all to simply say I tried drawing him smiling but it didn’t look righ#so ye. (feel bad for just leaving the thought process to the sketch in the tags but it’s not my best wording so it stays down here)#a smol trivia nugget: I still don’t know how I want to draw aioros :p actually better trivia nugget: the pose/composition is from a photo m#they saw I had taken a photo but my angle was rather bland so they decided to absolutely blow me away with one heck of a photo#theres even nice lighting and everything. real glad I finally used the reference as reference :]
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such is the tale of a ✨chronically online hypocrite✨
#(please forgive this old folk’s rambling for a hot min bc i need to get this off my chest somehow and in some way)#tl;dr: come and get into the hw idol series!!! we have ship discourse; more ship discourse; even more ship discourse#(yes ik people should be free to ship what they do b u t claiming a noncanon ship as canon and forcing it on everyone else is. not cool.)#yes yes friday’s mv was visually cute and ino.rin’s singing was peak b u t i feel like it has caused more harm than good in some way???#i cant b e l i e v e the jp hwtwt beef over friday’s mv is still going on mannnnnnnnn#no less than 3 separate people have made posts along the lines of#‘p l s stop using [official tags] to post about *[unnamed] non-official ships* p l s there’s a time and place for everything’#and n o n e of them even remotely run in the same circles yet they’re all banded together against a *certain* group lmfao never change hwtwt#lhy (esp yhy) shippers are always at the scene of the crime mannnnnnn#i cant see anything on their end of the naval battle (has every single lhy tag+account that i could think of blocked)#b u t it’s still really funny to witness on my twtdash against my will. i think i need to touch grass#‘kyhn isn’t canon either so why do you like it while being such a hater towards lhy—‘#great question!!!!!! it’s bc (disregarding the movie) they actually interact really well together~~~ like the honeypre event y k—#and also bc yukki treats hina really nicely all the time (even when she was being tsun and literally running from her feelings for him)#a n d hina loved him for who he truly was; even before his image change arc. and she also does her best to appeal to him and such~~~~~~~#but lhy. uh. they just bully hiyo 95% of the time and while they do look out for her bc they’re pals#they’re just pals. guys. and lxl have gone ‘uwu it must be u uwu’ to each other one too many times so shoehorning hiyo between them would.#be pretty weird ngl? esp since the ‘widely accepted’ portrayal of lhy as a trio is p much just hiyo x 2 dudes who dont even like each other#and. like. a branch of such portrayals usually seem to have aizo waft away from the ‘r/s triad’ to date mona instead which is. very weird.#some people just pick and choose aizo and mona interactions dont they. all they see is the umbrella scene and go ‘ah yes. canon’#they dont even read further to see how mona doesn’t even use the umbrella after aizo leaves (clear rejection)#a n d how aizo doesn’t even remember giving the umbrella to mona + mona’s entire existence in general after that#and that’s not even counting the grudge mona refuses to let go of even after what looks to be literal months#so for certain shippers to just casually shoo aizo out of the hiyoharem and into mona’s unwilling arms for the sake of yhy is. weird.#and like. shouldn’t he and yujiro have a say in this?? they’re more interested in each other than hiyo so just how are they being commonly#portrayed as hiyosimps in fanon? im so confused… like. wouldn’t they be equally obsessed with each other (as w/ hiyo) if they were a rstrio?#aaaaaa get this off my twtdash plsssssssss pls see this post twtapp pls let this affect your dumb algorithm im tired of the ship discourseee#as funny as the ‘lhy vs the world’ naval warfare is it’s getting. um. very annoying!!!! and now im missing nagisa more than ever s o b s#plsplsplsplsplsplsplsplspls influence the algorithm ragepost; ik big brother is 👀watching👀 so do your thing—#(pls feel free to duke it out with me too if y’all read this i need my birdsite algorithm to le a r n that i dont wanna see stuff like this)
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good grief i have really gotten myself into a tizzy this evening. guy who post cancelled i can't even put it into words. horse ebooks everything happens to much <- not even big things happening i'm just autism styling (bad) my life today
#who would like to beam the perfect oversized/boxy cotton short sleeved shirt into my consciousness and solve one of my problems <3#things i'm stressed about:#family gathering tomorrow with young kids (high possibility that they'll be sick) and noone masks except me -> I can leave though.#someone borrowing my car aka worrying that i'll get sick if they're sick and i drive it but i don't wanna wear a mask in my car#-> literally just wear a mask it's fine. also i'll probably get it back with time to air it before i drive it#don't have nice things to wear so i don't feel good and it's hard to find anything -> well i'll just have to look. no good fix for this one#just gotta do it.#too late and i've fixated on stuff instead of chilling -> can't wind back time babey you made your bed unforch!#just one of those days where everything feels like so much! and it's all surmountable i just dont want to surmount it. i want it to be nice#in the first place :P ALAS! THE REAL WORLD!#you knowwww it is past 9pm that's 'don't trust how you feel about your life' time for real!!!!
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masha broke a bowl by accident in the kitchen and when i brought her the broom and dustpan and asked her if she was okay, she looked at me, straight-faced, and said, "no, i'm not okay." and then i realized she meant that she still feels emotionally abused by the house somehow, and i felt a flash of anger because i am so sick of her shit, and i rephrased, "are you physically injured?" and she gave me another look and said "i'm physically okay." and then when connie asked from her room "what's going on?" masha replied "nothing new." like fuck off ohhhhhhhh my god
#p#i'm actually sick of making room for people like this#it's not me being kind or understanding. it's me being a doormat and driving myself crazy for not making everyone happy 24/7#would masha feel better if i continually approached her and invited her to things and forgave her every time she acted like this?#yeah she would. and i can imagine the emotional place she's in right now is a terrible one and i empathize#which is why i feel guilty for being too tired to do the above. but also? but ALSO???#in her head she will always be the victim. everything we do she will always interpret in bad faith; choose the most unkind interpretation#it's gabe all over again. they live in an alternate reality from me and from the rest of the house and it is impossible to reconcile the tw#and i get this feeling of anger and a part of me thinks of it as me 'letting myself be a bitch' but it's not actually that#it's literally self-respect. it's me being so burnt out that i don't have the energy to pretend this is somehow my problem#the whole meme of 'aren't you tired of being nice. don't you wanna go apeshit' that's about being inauthentic not abt being nice#sure authentic/inauthentic is a loaded therapy term now but it's just accurate. i should be able to NOT do things if i'm not moved to#i don't feel like talking to her. i don't feel like inviting her to things. i don't feel like giving an apology for an imaginary wrong#she can hate me for the rest of time. she can be miserable for the rest of the year while she stays here. i don't fucking care#she is making herself miserable. it is absolutely 100% on her. in any way that matters it is up to her to fix her own shit#i am so sick of this idea that somehow through the healing power of kindness and friendship everyone can be lifted up#because actually some people refuse to be helped. and it is so hard for me to reconcile this with my worldview#but it's been proven to me over and over again that this is the truth.#i guess it doesn't necessarily apply to material realities but i think it does for emotional ones#but even that division between the material and the social/emotional feels false to me. they're always related#maybe the actual lesson is that you as an individual and sometimes even as a community#have limited resources. and while the world's ills could theoretically be solved with infinite generosity and kindness#you cannot singlehandedly make that happen.#and also if the other party isn't receptive there's only so much you can do.#god i've written like a fucking essay trying to justify to myself why i'm angry at masha bc i want to be validated for it#even though i know by now that i actually don't need to explain myself to anyone -- even to myself
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Didn't get the chance to post about it earlier but, today is Klaus' 11th birthday!!
Happy birthday my evil angel!! Every year I get to have with you is so precious to me. You may be a smelly old man now, but you're my smelly old man. I love you always and forever 💕💋💝
#crazy cat klaus#it anazes me how much time has passed#sometimes I look at klaus and still that adorable 3 month old kitten we saw advertised in the newspaper#other times I can see how much he's matured#his belly fur is all white now. and the fur just above his nose is going gray#I'm so grateful to get to have him with me in his golden years#I've never gotten to keep a cat past the age of 5 before#because at the old apartment we weren't allowed to have cats. and somehow we always got caught with them#around the time they were 3-5 years old and we'd have to surrender them to a shelter#except that one time...my poor precious Peanut. I'll never forgive my family for leaving him in the woods#but Klaus and also Mummas are special cases#especially now that we're in a place where we can have cats and not get in trouble#I'm literally so happy to have him with me#Klaus has been with me since I was 15. a very dark time in my life. he's been with me thru pretty much everything#seeing him age is beautiful. but its also scary#I wish cats lived forever...I know every moment I get to have with him is precious#sometimes I think about the inevitable and it hurts so much to think about. like rn.#I don't wanna rhink about it on his birthday but its hard#he's 11. that's old for a cat. not super old but still#Im p sure Klaus could be considered my soul cat#he isn't the most super cuddly. he doesn't lay on anyone usually. but he shows his affection very well#he's almost always there when Im sad or sick. he's my best friend#I love him so much. and he knows it. and I know he loves me too#happy birthday baby#sam's rants about life
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Idk what to talk abt but I missed u. Sending hugs 🤍
<3333333333
#genuinely don't know what to reply but. ahh. you guys are so nice to me what did i do to deserve this...#my mutuals treat me so well#/p#I'm hugging you so gently right now. you don't know how we all missed you this place is so empty without your smile#/gen#woke up one day and while scrolling my mind went “hey is there's something wrong with my dash” and then i remember Keri was on a trip and#everything clicked together#asks#Keri ^^#so there's that
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Grump and not so grump (Patreon)
#Doodles#Villainsona#Just Desserts#Lol#Happy to be the happy sona! Of course ♪#I fiiiinally got a haircut again yaaaay#Actually all the Reds did! We all went to the local barber and they do such lovely work <3#We got our hair cut on smol's birthday and we're all adorable!#It's really nice now that it's out of my eyes and off my neck - smol's is directly in her eyes tho lol#As long as she's happy haha#Continuing the happies trend <3 This was doodled before the brain weirdness but I'm mostly back onto it :)#Got brain-work to do about it |P But better is good! I like better!!#And I like pleased <3#There was plenty to be pleased about! :D Good dreams and good conversation and games and ah <3 Happies <3#Poor Charm gets none of the above! Haha poor lad ♪#The TVAU grump was just a spacefiller so not much more to that#She is cute tho even when she's grumpy#And then the Kaiein thing lol - so I mentioned a bit back about going to meet with one of Kaiein's ''inspiration sources'' ahem ahem#It's the same as before - they're honestly quite ineffectual once you get right down to it#I read basically everything they do in bad faith because there's no established trust - and also I don't care if they're trying to insult me#If they're trying to connect it's sad - if they're trying to be mean it's pathetic - which I mean? Good?? Lol#Them not having power over me in themself is a good thing I'm glad that's where I am currently#Basically they got me a how-to book on digital art - with an emphasis on Photoshop#I know SAI is a lesser-known program but they were the one who helped me buy it - they've probably forgotten#Maaahh it doesn't matter - not even into Evil Time about it it's just so nothing pff#Someday they'll learn that giving gifts isn't the be-all end-all to making friends. I know I would've preferred nothing :P#I'm just happy to be confident enough where I am that while I don't like it - it doesn't actually do anything to me lol#It's a better place to be :)
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this school really deserves its impending doom bcs management is soooo tone deaf “but why do our students choose to go to uni in their own city and out of the 2 they choose the non russell group one why aren’t we doing something to support them to aim higher 🤔” could it possibly be that this school is in one of the most deprived areas of the city/nationwide and thats a significant factor affecting academic achievement so students default to the uni w lower entry requirements theyre likely to get into? or maybe that our predominantly immigrant students and their families don’t share the culture of moving out and living independently at 18? that their immigration status and overseas qualifications affect their entry requirements ? that many of them are responsible for their families and don’t want to leave them? that its more affordable to stay home and not be in even more debt by taking out a maintenance loan to stay alive? the girls who aren’t allowed to leave home before marriage? what a truly confounding phenomenon that our students don’t go to a russell group uni it must be a very bad look that we get 90% students in higher education or formal training after college but not the ‘best’ choice. But what do i know i guess !
#p#theres no institutional racism and no racial and ethnic segregation here guys don’t worry. our students have equal opportunities!#unreal how tone deaf that whole email was#asking what we’re doing wrong where we’re going wrong#as if its no achievement to consistently send off students to uni regardless of status or rank#and like we have loads of students who Do move out and go to very good unis and even oxbridge#loads of students going into medicine and engineering and law#and loads of students whom we had to fight and advocate for to their families to even allow them to go to uni!!!!!!#you’re looking at one of the shittest areas and one of the shittest schools and acting like we’re getting disappointing results#shove your british values up your ass fix your country#on the same note as shitting themselves over ofsted and getting less than a good rating My brothers ofsted is comparing our school to#schools in the posh neighborhoods (some of the most middle upper class areas nationwide also)#and instead of seeing this as an opportunity to challenge standards and place value on everything we do right by our students#they’re trying to get the stats equal to those other schools and its having tangibly adverse effects on achievement engagement and attendanc#i’m sick from frustration with this damn schools leadership u are all shit#they should maybe possibly potentially look at what has actually improved student achievement and whose ideas they were#hint. not the white british leadership team’s#but i digress .
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i love you tural i love you wuk lamat i love you erenville i love you gulool ja ja i love you koana i love you [redacted] i love you [redacted] i love you [redacted] and i love you dawntrail.
#this expansion is my baby. they did so much stuff in there just for me.#even though many of the other stories have captivated me in excruciating and loving ways this expansion may end up being#my fsvorite of them all… idk. so many love letters to the people who worked on this story#it will stay with me forever. also#i get so happy reading about the voice actors who are like.. very emotional abt the opportunities this game presented them#i think w squares track record of ugliness and yosh*p specifically that this story could exist respectfully and vibrantly at all is a#miracle and i have.. a LOT of praise for it :)#and i cant wait for embargo to drop! im gonna post a lot of art!#lets celebrate this story i think its really one of a kind 🫶🏼💫🎊🌞😋#the ppl who worked as sensitivity readers for this did amazing with conveying like.. language and color and culture and everything honestly#felt very like home to me… this expansion is just. even if some of my fav moments and charas will remain from other expacs#i feel like this one perhaps had the most ‘out to get me’ in the best way possible#although i have a few gripes w some things of course.. im overwhelmingly happy#and i will defend wuk lamat with my life#defending wuk lamat has led me places i wouldnt even go with a gun
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The most openly bratty/fussy Alhaitham anyone can ever get is when he is sick, send tweet-
#hc; alhaitham#//He feels so gross & icky; everything & anything gets So overwhelming; he LOATHES getting sick so much#//WILL make it anyone’s problem if they try pushing him for whatever reason; even if he’s the slightest bit sick#//The only person he’d actively try NOT to ‘inconvenience’ is Kaveh#//But that’s bc he’s WELL aware Kaveh would try & make him being sick his business anyways if he found out#//Even if Haitham would rather he not—bc he knows 1) Kav’s got a lot on his plate & 2) Kav WILL get sick in the process#//Kav surprisingly does Not get whiney or anything when sick—rather; mans LOCKS TF IN#//He got so used to being alone and taking care of himself; mans would NOT ask for help until he is practically passing tf out#//And even THEN it’s begging whoever caught him to finish his task for him; not asking to be taken care of. Would be MORTIFIED if sb did#hc; kaveh#//Bc that’s there now jfbfb#//ANYWHO back on subject#//Haitham gets VERY clingy when sick. VERY clingy; VERY dependent and Vulnerable#//Around his trusted people; anyways#//But ye—if you’re friends; chances are he WILL hunt you down first above all when sick; esp if he had to go in for work#//And he WILL need a little help and attention; any and all of it that can be spared#//Or at the very least suggestions to help with the Ick until they are free to help him more#//In my mind's eye; Nahida is his most sought out friend in such times#//He'd curl up in the Sanctuary of Surasthana and nap the day away the Instant he gets inside. Esp bc she’d never turn him away#//She’d be fucken ECSTATIC to have him there; even make him a nice little place to sleep & everything; dim the lights & not let ANYONE in#//Best of all; she can’t get sick (by regular means) so she’s p safe. He wouldn't be as worried abt her catching anything he'd got#//Would dote so much on him; he’s like a baby brother to her#//Everyone in the rescue squad is basically just as well family to her too#//But he’s her favorite#//dendro god’s specialest boi (after Wanderer; ofc)#//Shh; no one tell the others jdhfbf#hc; nahida#//Whoop there’s that too hebfb
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Oh my god one last thing my ex took me to outside lands and when we tried to watch lana del rey he laid down on the grass and had a “panic attack” (this was after months of him talking about how he didn’t like her) so we went to see foo fighters after a bit and he was FINE
#LANA i know his sister works for you BUT TRUST MY WORD AND GIVE ME A FREE TICKET PLEASE…#MY FIRST TIME SEEING YOU WAS RUINED GIRL… she was so good too like i was saving her songs to spotify that night#im reliving all this because i found out a lot of his exes and ex friends hang out together and two of them invited me so it was me an ex an#d an ex friend just swapping stories and first of all. he said he got cheated on by this girl and she NEVER DID IT (HE would have emotional/#angry outbursts at HER though) (allegedly he’s acknowledged to her that the cheating never happened too) and 2. this is obviously making me#mentally rehash everything again. i feel so bad for his current girlfriend and also for the person i ‘’stole’’ him from though i really hesi#tate to blame myself after hearing about his patterns. first of all he wouldve done this with anyone who was vulnerable around him and secon#d i was the only reason he was at all honest with them. he was fully planning to gaslight this ex and me and his dad had to convince him not#to. they look like theyre happy now and im very happy for them over that. oh my god that man was evil he told me for WEEKS about every time#his then partner had talked shit about me while i made clear that i didnt care and wasnt very interested but he kept going. god i cant belie#ve this was my life a year ago.#the one thing i can say is that i out freaked him because throughout our short relationship i made him so insecure that a week after i told#to never speak to me again he called me asking if he really was ugly.#I CANNOT BELIEVE I HAD TO TEND TO A GROWN MAN WHILE LANA DEL REY WAS RIGHT THERE BECAUSE HE WAS SO OPPOSED TO BEING AROUND HER. LANAAAA#times like these i get so mad i dont know what to do but ultimately remembering that he has not achieved any of his goals because he refuses#to face himself really helps me. god man IVE achieved some of his goals and i wasnt even trying to#a really awful part of all of this was all of the friends who knew him taking his side. because they didnt know him well enough to know what#he was actually like.#i was talking to my ex friend of four years and she was like not to blame you but he was probably really vulnerable from his time with [ex p#rior to me]’’ because he’s been going around alleging that that ex was abusive. and she was implying i took advantage of him. so i had to go#into detail about what an awful awful person he was and the sort of state i was in when this relationship took place. hannah lee you are#not seeing your little jehovah’s witness heaven.#anyways redirecting this energy im very happy with the way my life is and the way i am now. and im grateful for it i would not have ever bee#n able to imagine having the sort of peace and motivation i feel now. life feels like it can and will change for the better and it keeps pro#ving that right all the time#it just hurts sometimes having that as my first experience and not even being able to vocalize what was wrong bc i just didnt know hurts#oh i forgot one of his besties can see my account bc we’re sort of mutuals. i doubt he’s looking he did the whole unfollowing the ex bc she’#s allegedly amoral thing after the breakup but if he is hi isaac#he did on rare occasion show me selfless kindness but ultimately your best friend is a creep. i don’t want to be involved with anyone from#our school but I hope you know this and I hope you’re proud
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